#not my fav but whateverrrrr

[caer-oswin]

[agnimybeloved]

regarding that last post... not that black butler's canon has to be uplifting or have dadbastian or a happy ending to be "good" (i'm actually partial to tragedies especially the cyclical kind and would love for the series to straight up end with despair and the collection on the contract lol) but i do think that toboso's largely fumbled the found-family/interpersonal,/introspective aspects of her story and sacrificed a lot of narrative and thematic meat there for low-brow and off-putting comedy.... which is really exactly all she does with ciel's trauma as well-- shallowly using it for the purposes of trauma porn and/or comedy/inappropriate fanservice.

ciel only seems to have reasonable responses to his trauma when its aesthetically convenient if that makes sense. i honestly could go as far as to say that she depicts his trauma fetishistically-- every instance i can recall of ciel having an extreme traumatic response (i.e. vomiting, flashbacks, psychosis) is represented with (imo but honestly.... i'd be shocked if this wasn't intentional...) sexual undertones. his episode during the green witch arc doesn't have one of these moments within the episode itself as far as i can recall, but certainly i think the preceding/inciting medical emergency that forces him and sebastian to bathe together contributes to the reoccurring sexualization of "sickness" (physical & psychological).

not to mention ciel's subsequent episode is treated as the dramatic peak of his ptsd and something that he "overcomes" through sheer force of will (and the threats of sebastian... neither of which are a proper/reasonable way to handle such an extreme trauma response) and doesn't really battle going forward in the story. of course a lot of stories take this "one dramatic moment and then its fixed" approach to representing mental illness, and it makes narrative sense for toboso to want to more or less settle that thread to gear up for the important blue cult arc, but i think toboso's handling of mental illness in general goes so far beyond suspension of disbelief and tastelessness that i think she should lowkey be brained for it. the way she intermittently writes ciel's traumatic experiences as something horrifying and wrong and to be given sympathy meanwhile relentlessly putting ciel in inappropriate fanservice situations that diminish the severity of csa & pedophilia as well as disrespect the complexities of trauma and turn them into comedy... mind boggling...

overall though i think that black butler shows a real mastery of narrative arcs while falling short in terms of character arcs. most of the time these arcs are shown in retrospect with the addition of new backstory, but it feels as if the characters in present have barely grown at all... not that every story has to be character driven and a static character type makes sense for someone like sebastian, but for all that ciel is a unique and mature thirteen year old due to the circumstances of his life, he is still a thirteen year old, and one that has experienced a significant trauma quite recently at that. not allowing him coming of age-esque character arcs considering all that sort of breaks the believability of his character imo.

but i think that coattails does a lot in staying loyal to ciel's character and experiences while also respecting his trauma and bringing the depth and flexibility of adolescence to his worldview and actions that toboso unfortunately seems disinterested in. i love that aforementioned chapter of coattails and its sentiments especially with how it reexamines ciel's actions at kelvin's manor and the worldview that lead to burning it down with the children inside... not that it was an out of character decision for ciel in the moment, but i think it established a lot more severe facts about his character and worldview than toboso is willing to address in her writing and therefore feels unresolved. coattails' remedy to that awkwardness by coming full circle is so intriguing and fulfilling in contrast... it shows how adolescence and trauma can work together to so completely convince one of hopelessness and yet how just a bit of hope can change that worldview entirely. literally just the honest love of a random dog and the mundane care of a guardian... there is a cure and it is this..... what da helllll....

[fagdykevash]

they should make a color pink that isn't so closely tied to femininity

[feekins]

hoo boy, ch 8. okay. I've got tea steeping. I've got a comfy throw blanket. I have my cat on standby, bc...honestly idr how I reacted the first time I read this almost 20 years ago. all I know is that a lot of things flew over my head at that age, so it should be uh. interesting. to see what I get out of it as an adult.

so yeah - my thoughts and things as I re-read ch8 of Trigun vol 2.

I'M NOT NERVOUS. YOU'RE NERVOUS. 🫣

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

ok so uh. this is gonna be a longass post. no joke, I took reference pics of almost every single page of this chapter, but thanks to the 10-image limit...well. we'll see how this goes.

on the very first page, we have some context-changing translation discrepancies.

in Dark Horse, we've got:

WOLFWOOD: "I got a bad feeling...about these guys." (referring to the dudes he beat up when they tried to jump him as he walked into the church in the last chapter)

LEGATO: "How rude. How else do you expect to be treated when you suddenly trespass?"

meanwhile, the Overhaul has something much more informative, once again:

WOLFWOOD: "Who are these idiots? The Roderick slavers?"

LEGATO: "My apologies... I just needed to show late arrivals who they are dealing with."

then, on the next page, we see that Legato and Wolfwood haven't met before (which was something I was wondering about last chapter). they only recognize each other by physical descriptors (Wolfwood's cross, Legato's skull and torture device).

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

again, the Overhaul is more informative. and the panel right after this one...Vash looks so exhausted 🥺

there's also a difference in Dominique's last words to Vash a few pages later. Dark Horse has her saying, in reference to Legato "No one stands up to that man. Do you think he'd help me after I've failed?" meanwhile, the Overhaul has "If I can't be of service to him...then there is only one way this can turn out."

and then, she jumps :( Dominique remains one of my fav GHGs... it would be nice to see her return (she's on Wanted posters!!!) in tristamp, but. in any case. I lov her. and I'd love to learn more about her 🥺

Vash passes out right as Dominique's falling, and my younger self always thought that was weird? but their fight was a LOT more taxing than it first appeared, at least to me. we see proof of this later in the chapter.

some little translation discrepancies here. Midvalley's line in Dark Horse always kinda confused me. ty, Overhaul, for clarifying so much! oh, and Legato's last line here - for some reason I always thought he was talking about Vash? but now I realize he's talking about KNIVES. that's not translation-induced confusion, tho - just me being A Silly Lil Guy again, I guess 🤪

oh, and I didn't point it out in the last chapter, but...there's something striking about there being a church right at the top of Jeneora Rock. I can't explain why. it's just...something that rly sticks out or seems important to me.

OH, BUT THEN!!!

IT'S THE DOCTAAAAAAAAAand that's all the screaming I'll do about him for now 🤭

again, the Overhaul's translation is more informative, explicitly mentioning Knives' injuries, but idk. maybe I'm nitpicking. whateverrrrr, me likey additional info =u=

now...we get into the heavier topics.

their plan for resurrecting Knives is. disturbing. to say the least. you've got the physical horror, which was what most struck me when I was a teenager...but what gets me now is the violation/exploitation/stripping of agency from another plant for personal gain/survival...of which humans are guilty...but this time, it's all in the name of The Big Bad Human-Hater. and so, right when we finally get to meet him in the flesh, the narrative shows how, Plant Shenanigans aside, Knives...really isn't all that different from the humans he so hates. he perpetuates the exact. same. shit. the cognitive dissonance, man... 😣

more Dark Horse-induced confusion the Overhaul's cleared up for me

then, at the bottom of the page, where Wolfwood's grousing, Dark Horse has him saying "Shit! What the hell was with all th' training?!" (another line that always confused me) whereas the Overhaul has "Shit! What the hell am I doin'?!"

and that leads me into the next thing I wanted to note: it's here that we see Wolfwood is a man stuck between a rock and a hard place. he gets frustrated with it, doesn't want to do it, but he fully believes he can't get out of it :(

I also want to note a difference between the manga and tristamp - manga Vash is able to sense Knives the moment he's resurrected, whereas tristamp Vash is only aware of Knives' presence when the diner piano starts playing (ep 3). it's an interesting difference!

but then, there's fking...

...this. immediately after Knives is reborn.

I didn't think anything of it as a teen. but now...initially, I was horrified, thinking "oh shit, oh fuck, what the hell is he doing to his 'mother' now" BUT. looking at it a second time, I think I get what the context is telling us. on the previous page, there's Knives WITH HIS 'MOTHER' UNDERFOOT. on the panel immediately below the one I've shown, there's an explosion. so. I think what's going on here is that Knives is using his plant abilities to bust out - which still isn't great, most likely killing his 'mother' in the process...but unfortunately, considering who this is, it tracks;;;;;;

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

so much more urgency comes through in the Overhaul's translation here - "...I NEED to face him. I have to END this!"

we also get a lot more out of the Overhaul on the next page, when Vash is talking about his memory loss. both translations start with Vash saying "Everything on the other side is blank..." but whereas Dark Horse has him continue with "Where there is no memory, I must go to fill in the void..." the Overhaul has "I lost all memory of what I've done. All that was left with me was a void and a memory of a mountain of rubble."

then, when Vash gets to Knives and points his gun at him...Knives' absolutely deranged reaction, which I found funny as a teen, now just. gives me the chills. as does how tristamp drew directly from this exchange for their meeting in that diner.

aaaaand we have some translation weirdness after Knives sees Vash's scars and is all "Vash y u no learn?!" Dark Horse then misattributes 2 speech bubbles in a panel with Vash, instead having Knives say:

KNIVES: "If you keep count, you've hurt so many more than you've killed. And compare that to all the destruction you've caused..."

KNIVES (next panel, speech bubbles are his): "So, shouldn't you...point that thing somewhere else?"

the Overhaul is, once again, a lot more clear here:

VASH (in reference to his scars): "They're nothing compared to the burden of death and destruction you've put on me! You're gonna pay for your sins, you monster!"

KNIVES: "Considering what you did with that right arm of yours...shouldn't you be pointing that gun somewhere else then?"

I believe that's what we call gaslighting? and the victim blaming Knives does over and over is... 😬

more translation weirdness. no comment here - I've been working on this post for literal hours now igkhddkhdjg

...no translation weirdness here - just wanted to note...I didn't get this part as a teen. now, I do... 😟

and both translations of the first thing Knives says to Vash after forcing him to bring out the angel arm now strike me as. so messed up. part of the SA/noncon allegory...

KNIVES (Dark Horse): "Well?! How do you like it, Vash?"

VS

KNIVES (Overhaul): "How is it?! How does it feel, Vash?!"

and then, right before it fires? for some reason, Dark Horse completely leaves out what Vash says/thinks immediately after Rem's name. before the Overhaul, I had no idea that this bit was a thing: "...we were no good...right from the start." 😭

now here. have an Emotional Support Charlie. she slept beside me the whole damn time I wrote this post 💕

[superbellsubways]

did u ever use the zygarde cube in pkmn gen 7? resetting for a shiny starter likea freak and i thought ab it… kinda wish they introduced it in gen 6 instead (the cube and the diff forms) but whateverrrrr i love zygarde 10% ☝️😁

tbh no LOL i never focused on the zygarde stuff in alola honestly which is ironic considering zygarde is my fav legend from gen 6. i just couldn't be bothered to collect all those cells. 🚶

[am3ricanj3sus]

every tc i have had

okay this is like kinda chronological but also kinda not cause its when i noticed them not the grade they particularly teach.

edit: i lied this is chronological order.

mr. mh

okay starting with my first ever tc omg this is so crazy.

my 7th and 8th grade english teacher

he lowkey made me hate english ngl cause we wouldnt read like books books we read and analyzed a lot of articles lowkey pissed me off

one time he got mad at me cause he thought i had gum in my mouth but it was just wax for my braces that i started chewing on cause i didnt wanna spit it out cause it lowkey was minty

he just omg... okay my 8th grade ass should not have been thinking about him the way i was

like he wasnt tall by anymeans but he had like a husky build. like okay lumberjack. he wore so many fucking flannels omgggggg.

hes a millenial so like...harry potter nerd to the maxxxx. also like he has a freaking beard and ugh he made it work he was literally sooooooooooo.

i was shy back then so i didnt really talk to him but he was nice and like one time i fell asleep in his class on zoom and he like stayed in the call and when i woke up i was like SHITTTTTT. i think my mic was on when i did that but like whateverrrrr

hes the biggest nerd ever

okay next

mr.bell

okay second tc everrrr

my 7th grade math teacher OMG WHY WAS I SO YOUNG WTFFFF PRETTY LITTLE LIARS WHAT DID U DO TO MEeeeeeeeee.

okay so like i have always hated math but we did khan academy soooooo like made my life super easy i cheated ngl.

OMG HE ugly asf looking back why tf el sol let me like that. what evaaaaaaa

he was so skinny like bones and he was pale like okay jack skellington howd u get here tffff

OMG HE WAS SO TALL TO LIK 6'4 LIKE OKAY FUCKKKKKK

he was really nice to me bc i sucked at math sooo like yeah im goat

i wrote fan fiction about this guy im gonna kms

it was fire tho. no tf it wasnt

okay next i cant thinkn aboout him anymore

mr. dua

okay my freshman year english teacher....

i like never really said anything about him. idk maybe its just cause he was old and nice to me.

he always encouraged meeeee

i was his best student #sorrynotsorryteacherspetforever

he was like around maybe 6'1???? he was taller than me thats what matters!!!!

okay intermission was taken had to blow my nose

anyways he was just like... idk he was just giving father. like in a freaky way.

he wasnt ugly he actually was handsome even with that fuck ass lazy eye.

other than dat i didnt learn shit in that class

next!!!!

mr. fuck ass hoe

okay this mf i hate this mf i hated him when i took his class i hate him now.

I HATE CHEM!!!! AND HE DIDNT MAKE IT ANY FUCKING BETTER!!!!!!!!! MADE IT SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE IM GONNNAAAAAA.

he was like nerd tho. not hot but just smart that makes u attractive cause ur smart. he was tall too. and my fav baddie nationality which i wont say thats too much might as well tell u when he graduated (1998)

like he was so fucking smart that it made me angry and i wanted to hate fuck him.

AND HE IS A SHIT TEACHER? TFFFF like hes so smart that like you have to go up to him and ask him to dumb it down and he'll be like "i dont get what you dont get"

also like oh boy oh boy this school year with him im soo angerrrrrrrrr. but whatever u a bitch.

iid still fuck him tho dont get me wrong.

NEXT!!!!!

mr. not so professional

well. wow another english teacher shocker woowww.

he was a shit teacher i learned nothing he was just hot.

like the only good part about that class was to kill a mockingbird and like other than that like what were we doing.

i mean it was his first (and last) year at our school soooo...

but he was hella baddie. kinda short but well built and like had greatttt hairrr.

one time he showed up to class with like a hickey on his neck and its was kinda like... oh wow okay freak...get freaky with me

i dont really know where he is now? probably teaching somewhere else who knows idc.

WHOS NEXT!!!

mr. c

oi oi oi... the man that started this blog... my baby daddy...my pookie... my baseball player...

okay but like ive never even had his class tf.

honestly i dont even rember how this one started. like one day i just noticed him around campus and was like OOOOOO THATS ONE.

like i think its simply cause he a man. and older than me. and has a job. and like it hot.

hes really nice tho hes such a cutie. like he hasnt done anything wrong yet... lets keep it that way...

i can count on one hand how many times ive talked to him this is humiliating

one time he said he liked my sweater i mean it was like my halloween costume and like i mean yeahhh it was intentionally picked out with him in mind so... yeah.... MY PLAN WORKED!!!

hes just llike sooo. hes tall but not too tall. hes like built but not like shredded gym rat like soft and defined enough. his hair eh... idk what he does like i think he has curls but like he keeps them super jelled it makes me mad. he has facial hair like okay lets turn it from black to ginger alrighttt ahhhhh tongue sticking out emoji. that was freaky guys wait

over all hes just great. a great charismatic guy. a great charismatic older than me and like kinda awkward guy

honorable mentions:

mr rah rah

mr gym rat

okay thats all dont rat me out.

[arugula2048]

if I choose to read deep enough into this I can further position Mike as a parallel to Kim's mom (telling her why he's telling her Lalo's alive vs "I didn't know you had it in you") and both bailing her out. Mike kiiind of being like the mirror universe Chuck to Jimmy? The version that can work with him, even be a good partnership with him. Altho tbf past a point, I can't tell when Jimmy's trying to work his charm vs him doing tricks to try to gain respect from his older brother-esque/conduit figures.

ohh the fucking. parallels between mcwexler and the kettlemen. The Kettlemen are so good to each other and so bad for each other just like McWexler. Without all the scheming and guidance (and sometimes "guidance") by Jimmy and Kim they would've run themselves into the ground in miliseconds with the not taking the deal, trying to plead innocence, staging a runaway and trying to camp it out. They're strong-armed into taking the deal and still later, older and greyer yet none-the-wiser, still running scams because they didn't learn their lesson and it's so gratifying (paralleling Kim's "I didn't tell you because I was having too much fun."). They're strong-armed into stopping again, by McWexler in good cop-bad cop style. And in the end they still stay with each other for their kids and for each other, because thick and thin, they love each other so goddamn, life-ruiningly much. Assholes to the world, but even in s1 when they were at peak hateableness, Betsy was genuinely heartbroken over Craig(? whatever) going to jail.

The difference between those couples is that Jimmy and Kim were much smarter, much smoother, and they made it so much further than the Kettlemans, but they couldn't escape the same endpoint. And Kim loves Jimmy but she's so much wiser that she chose to walk away and not try to "leave this behind" to start over somewhere else as Jimmy said. Because look at where that got the Kettlemans, poorer and worse off, still lying for fun and profit, dragging the remains of their reputation through the mud as they got suckered by the bigger fish.

[ncitygirls]

It’s so sad to see you go🥺your jaemin fic (yours + mine) is one of my fav fics ever and i always reread it and still feel mushy gushy inside😍 you’re indeed a terrific writer and I hope everything goes well for you in the future! Sending lots of love and luck💓💓💓

Thanks so much for this! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 real busy rn so will leave the blog up for a bit more. Please take whateverrrrr u like save it and have it. Wishing you alllll the best ever ever ever too!