#not my fav but this has been sitting in my wip for far too long

[v-albion]

Late night hang out

Masterpost || Commissions Open

[dingoat]

Whee ok let me try and catch up on a few things, I’ve been busy. Well. Moreso than usual? I feel like I’ve barely had a breath to myself the last few weeks!

But @keldae hit me up for WIPS a little bit ago back there and I’m not sure I have too much to show since last time I was tagged but lemme see what I can scrounge up in my scribble folders hahaha.

As usual, lots of stuff on the go, at varying stages in the process! A couple of these are gonna take me a good long while but some hopefully will see the light of day in the not too distant future!

Also @actualanxiousswampwitch​ pinged me in a ‘tag people you want to know better’ thingamo with questions that overlap with the ‘getting to know you meme’ that @cinlat and @keldae​ tagged me in so consider them answered! A few gratuitous tags if anyone else wants to play who hasn’t yet-- @kaosstar​ @kunoichi-ume​ @shahfla​ @jedimasterspice​ @verbose-vespertine​ 

fav color: This question shouldn’t be as hard to answer as it is. I love colours. I love associations that colours have. I like collections of colours but I couldn’t tell you if prefer an autumn spread or a winter mountainside or the sparkling bioluminescent blues and greens or perfect pink and yellow blossoms. I like having lots of colours around me. (I love the colour of the sky.)

currently reading: Currently picking my way through Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, and paused in a re-read of long time favourite Royal Assassin by Robin Hobb while I wait for my reading buddy to pick it back up eeheehee.

last song: I pick up my phone to check. Incriminatingly, it offers (this was on my playlist I swear, I don’t just listen to the soundtrack on loop):

last movie: last one worth mentioning was The Sea Beast on Netflix. Enjoyed it far more than I expected it to, I wish more of the recent animated films were as earnest and heartfelt as this one was.

sweet/spicy/savory: If you know Ahuska then you also know me. I mean food in general is just always very good and every flavour profile has its time and place, but if I was forced to pick an allegiance... just gimme that donut and pour a heap of sugar into my coffee okay?

currently working on: hahaha all those drawings up there and then some. Also poking at a thing that I hope I can get together enough to reveal shortly. Also my beloved RPs in perpetuum, which surely count as a ‘working on’. I have half a dozen short story/ask responses that I’m working on to the extent that I sorta know what I want to write if I ever sit down and actually get the words out? 

[falsegoodnight]

a new header??? it matches better <3 these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with a star (*). 

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 28th only

—

main list ~

✰ Don’t Wait Up by reliablyimperfect | NR | 1k

Without Harry’s warmth next to him, he felt the chill of the air creep over his skin. He tugged the blanket down from where Harry kept one draped over the back of the couch for him, grateful. With the blanket, he instantly felt warmer, but it backfired when his eyes began to droop again. Trying to keep his eyes open was impossible, and he was consciously aware of how long his blinks were becoming. They stay closed longer and longer until, eventually, they didn’t open again.

so soft and sweet and lovely! made my heart feel so warm <3 will return to this for some quick comfort in the future!

✰ my ugly mouth kept running by @hadestyles | E | 4k

Sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

rori’s lush writing + abo + exes to lovers = absolute perfection. my fic cameo gives it a bonus too :’) definitely one of my rori favs 

��� i’ve loved you three summers now honey, i want them all by @softloubabie | M | 4k

The restaurant was small and bright, soft colors filled the walls and tables and fairy lights hung from everywhere. From what Harry had read, the food wasn’t overly expensive but it was still comparable to what you would get at one of the more expensive places. If Harry could he would take Louis to the biggest most expensive and extravagant restaurants to do what he planned to tonight, but this would do.

After being led to their table Harry nervously tapped his jacket pocket, sighing in relief when he felt the small box still there. Tonight was the night. He couldn’t wait till it was time to surprise Louis with all the gifts he got for him. Then finally the big surprise.

so cute and sweet! their kids were so adorable and the proposal so lovely!! they love each other so much <3

✰ love me in between the future and the past by navigator & quitter | E | 11k

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

this honestly hurt to read but in such a raw and emotional way?? was mad at harry and then sad for him :( this writer duo’s fics never fail to amaze me!

✰ sunshine on my mind by @raspberryoatss | E | 13k

Louis visits Harry in Portland

this was so sweet and lovely! the perfect addition to this wonderful universe! pip’s characterizations and fluff never fails to make my heart feel warm <3

✰ rapture in the dark by @stylinsonsupporter | T | 13k

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

always love a good fake dating au and this is no exception! and model louis >> really enjoyed this!

✰ Maybe, Baby* by thoughtsickles | M | 16k | mpreg

It all feels too easy, too good to be true. It all feels like a scene from Louis' daydreams, the kind of life he'd always imagined he'd have when he was younger and bored at his momma's work, sneaking around the hallways of the maternity ward until the nurses let him in to hold the babies. He'd felt so important being allowed to touch them. He'd told them stories of the lives they were going to have, houses with nice wallpaper that wasn't peeling, yards filled with sunshine and flowers and grass that never went yellow. A hammock to nap in, cuddled up with his husband.

You can't stay here, he tells himself, but Baby doesn't want to listen.

have reread this one quite a bit of times now and it still makes me so happy <3 this Louis and Harry deserve the world <333

✰ Let Me Inside by reliablyimperfect | E | 18k

Louis is Harry’s boss, but Harry is the boss of Louis. 

loved this one! really enjoyed the balance between h&l and how they maintained their dynamic in subtle ways outside of the bedroom while also keeping it separate. very much enjoyed the jealousy as well <3

✰ a scintilla of predilection by @dehydratedpoolfics | T | 20k

There, in the far back of the room, next to the only available seat left, is none other than Harry Styles. Harry, who grew up next door to him, who knew all his secrets as a child and played FIFA with him on Saturday mornings after he would spend the night Friday evenings every week, whose curly hair would tickle his nose as they held each other during bitter cold nights that made his room glow a haunting blue.

love ex-childhood friends with misunderstandings!! louis was so cute and i loved his poetry <3 harry too was so stupid but so smitten and lovely :’) really enjoyed this!

✰ Keeping The Flame Alive by @crazyupsetter​ | E | 20k

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

✰ like it’s a game* by @soldouthaz | E | 32k

There is little Harry hates more than truth or dare.

And Louis.

queen of enemies to lovers! it’s been a while since i’ve reread this but too absolutely no surprise, it’s just as amazing as always <3 sarah never misses!

✰ Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2 | M | 35k

Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

really enjoyed this as per usual! exes to lovers is my jam and the added angst of Louis dating someone else at the beginning... love <3

✰ Some Things Take Root* by  navigator & quitter | E | 50k

Louis' ex doesn't get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

stumbled upon this randomly and decided to reread on a whim... ended up staying up to read it in one sitting! so good!

✰ Safe and Sound (You’ll Always Be) by @all-these-larrythings | E | 58k

When a failed case and a guilty conscience leaves Harry more than a little lost, his boss presents him with a new, less taxing assignment to help him cope. An escape from all the madness is just what Harry needs to get his life back on track. It's just too bad his new client has a grin like the devil, a pair of electric eyes that Harry simply can't get over, and no intention whatsoever of letting him catch a break.

i don’t know how i’ve never read this before??? it was absolutely amazing though! perfect blend of humor and fluff and tension and angst <3

✰ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) by @youreyesonlarry | E | 74k

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. 

the slow burn in this fic killed me - which is to say, it was perfect! loved how they progressed from working together to being friends to something more and how much they genuinely cared for each other! the hockey was so fun too!

✰ Call Out My Name by frenchkiss | E | 102k

Apparently, it's bad PR to fall in love with the omega you hired to help you through your rut.

Harry Styles begs to differ.

ellen truly knocked it out of the park with this one!! had everything i could ever want: abo, famous/non-famous, fluff, humor, angst, drama, and more! i loved it from beginning to end!

wips ~

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 64k | 7/11

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

am thoroughly enjoying each chapter!! it’s been a wild ride so far and although things are currently calm, i am still on edge!! but i trust mar with my life <3

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 83k | 8/16 

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

caught up last night! still really enjoying every chapter and can’t wait to see what happens next!! things are *happening* with h&l and answers are being given!! (love the jealousy too!)

non-1d ~

✰ Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by @princelouisau | E | 23k

Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love and in doing so, had broken the one rule he knew he couldn’t come back from. As quickly as he realised, he decided that he must never dare speak it. He resigned himself to loving Draco in silence.

first foray into reading drarry... and, to no one’s surprise, i loved it! beautiful writing as always and beautiful atmosphere! it’s really not a shock that i fell for these characters and their story when danielle is behind it <3 it had me entranced from beginning to end!!

finally, i myself actually posted a fic this month:

my fics ~

✰ yesterday came suddenly by me | E | 49k | mpreg 

Harry the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[homosexualrodent]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

thank you so much for this!!! sorry i left this chilling in my inbox for so long

i only have 7 posted fics...and i'm kind of always tempted to delete them, but here are my top 5 :

5. it's far too deep for a bandage now

i actually wouldn't even say this is in my top 5 because of my irresolution towards it. i like the writing itself and i enjoy the characterization, but it's such a foul story to leave without an update. i don't have it in me to get up a new chapter for it in the near future, so it's just bleak as it sits without a more optimistic outcome.

4. blossoms from the garden of the moon

this one was really cute and there was pretty much no angst in it. i enjoyed writing it, and liked the way it turned out too. i definitely want to write more soft fics with endless happiness (april is adamant that i do so as well). i'd also like to write more one-shots. the peace of mind i get from not having to update something is absolutely wonderful.

3. look in his eyes and feel the fire drain out of his hands

currently chipping away at another chapter of this one while my pile of other wips watches me with disdain. i'm a big fan of my plans for this one, and i'm an overall shitty 2000's disney movies enthusiast even though i ran the movie plot through a bread slicer to come up with this.

2. you make me mad, I'm fire again

this is a fav. it will always hold a special place in my heart, seeing as it's the first multi-chap fic i've finished (so far hopefully). i didn't care as much for the grand scheme of it. it was something that has been done before for thiam, but i loved some of the little moments in it. honestly though, i didn't expect other people to like it as much as they did, but hey, i'm not complaining.

1. moonlit winter clouds the color of the desperation of wolves

this was a gift for some beloved people in the thiam fandom, but it was also a sort of a 2022 resolution fic for me for. i put a lot of effort into the writing, which i am really proud of. i also thought i was going to blow up when i thought of the plot for this because i just wanted to write it so bad. so i did. and i'm super happy with how the first chapter came out. i swear i've been adding to chapt 2 i just don't want to half-ass it.

again, thank you for the ask <33

[artificialqueens]

Me and You Together, 1/? (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: i honestly have begun this wip with glitter and jesus. i have no idea how many chapters it’s going to have or what exactly the plot is going to be…all i know is that it’s fwb (flatmates with benefits) to lovers taywhora with a background love triangle involving Ellie bc she’s my fav. pls enjoy and pls leave me love because i am a keyworker so really one comment = one 6pm clap xo

P.S. the Friday mentioned in this fic is the one A’whora’s obsessed with and was dancing to on her insta…not the popular Rebecca Black song. also 100 points to anyone who knows the song Lawrence and Ellie get excited about in the club.

content note: they’re freshers at uni in the UK and this country has a binge drinking problem xo. please don’t expect any of these girls to be acting responsibly. if you think you might be influenced by a fic talking about alcohol, smoking, sex and drugs, this might not be for you luv xo

**

December- Fell in love with her in stages

A year ago if you had asked A’whora what she was doing on a Tuesday night, the answer would’ve been mundane.

Homework, maybe, if she could be bothered. She could always copy it from Mocha in registration, after all. Making tiny outfits for Barbie dolls out of fabric scraps, very probably; she hadn’t stopped doing that just because she was older, the only difference from when she was nine was that she didn’t make her Barbies talk anymore. Invariably she’d stay up til’ well past her bedtime, earphones plugged in to her laptop and trying not to sing along to the playlist of dance music she’d spent a year cultivating. She’d poked fun at her Mum for still giving her a bedtime at the big age of eighteen, but she’d maintained that while her girl was living under her roof it would be bed by eleven on a weeknight and out no later than three on a weekend.

These rules, however, were quickly disposed of as soon as she’d got the keys to her uni flat. As soon as she’d found out her other flatmates were just as riotous and chaotic as she was and loved a night out just as much, her weeks had been filled with nights she’d never forget in bars she couldn’t remember, heads against speakers and sore feet from heels and ridiculous pre-drinks with even more ridiculous cocktails.

One such cocktail is the one her flatmate’s making for her now. Ellie doesn’t have any of the professional equipment a usual bartender would, but that doesn’t seem to stop her- the messy countertops are a treasure trove of obscure liqueurs and alcopops, and Ellie twirls a yellow-blonde curl around her finger before giving a gasp of satisfaction as her hand settles on a sticky green bottle.    

“One shot of apple soors, half a can of blue Monster, top up the rest with vodka,” she explains as she works with the various bottles and cans quickly, pouring into the pint glass they’d stolen from one of the pubs on a bar crawl during Freshers Week. She hands it to A’whora with a cheeky, mischievous grin on her painted face.

A’whora sniffs her glass and feels her nose wrinkle up involuntarily at the concoction her flatmate’s poured for her. “Els, if I drink that I’ll die.”

Ellie, to her credit, simply gives a snort of disapproval in response. Her pink acrylics click against the quarter bottle of vodka as she tightens the lid and replaces it in their freezer, all shiny and slick with frost. “Well if you are gonna take three hours to get ready then you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences of playing catch-up, babe.”

“Bitch,” A’whora jokes, rolling her eyes before sipping from her glass. The mixture makes her screw her face up so she takes another sip, then another until the weird sour-sweet-burn in her throat becomes more like a cocktail than cough syrup.

“Good, right?” Ellie prompts her, leaning against their kitchen counter proudly.

“No,” A’whora deadpans, causing her friend to burst out laughing. Then, realising something, she cocks her head. “Wait a second. What the fuck did you call the green drink?”

Ellie frowns. “Soors.”

“…Sourz?” A’whora says back to her, already giggling at the difference in dialects.

“Don’t play the pronunciation game with me, bitch.”

“Oh, I absolutely will when you’re just saying it wrong.”

“Lawrence!” Ellie shouts through to their other flatmate, sitting on the sofa and frowning at the bluetooth speaker as if it’s personally committed some crime against her. Ellie holds up the bottle as Lawrence snaps her head round, dark curls flying over her shoulder. “What’s this?”

“Liquidised heartburn,” she says instantly. A’whora snorts as Ellie rolls her eyes.

“Fuck’s sake. What’s it called?”

“Soors,” Lawrence shrugs back at her, and Ellie gestures triumphantly at A’whora who can only pout in reply.

“Listen, I can get Tia, Bims and Tayce through here and they’d all outnumber you, so. Shut it.”

“Yeah bet you’d love to get Tayce through here, A’whora,” Ellie smirks, raising both her eyebrows at her in an infuriatingly smug expression.

A’whora is clamped for a couple of reasons, the first being the God-awful nickname all her flatmates use against her. She’d managed to acquire it the first time they’d all played Never Have I Ever together and A’whora had drank for pretty much every situation or scenario presented to her. Before she’d known it, her very lovely, very Disney Princess-esque first name had been replaced by a pun that Bimini had come up with in the midst of their third rum and coke, and thus Aurora was dead and A’whora was born.  

The second reason for her silence is a result of the mention of one of the girls she’s living with. A’whora had never really expected to develop a crush on any of her flatmates, which had been a ridiculous thing to assume- given the fact she’s attracted to girls and was going to be living with other girls, the odds would dictate that at least one of them would be her type. Luckily, though, she hasn’t developed any feelings for any of them. At least, that’s the lie she’s telling herself, as the cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward.

Tayce is different to Ellie, Lawrence, Tia and Bimini, though. None of the others get A’whora so flustered when they speak to her, none of the other others get her heart racing so fast it threatens to fly out her ribcage. She doesn’t feel the same sense of dizzy joy when she’s alone with any of the others: only when Tayce makes dinner with her, or when she comes to her room at ten at night for chats, or when they play Tayce’s stupid video games together and she beats her way-too-many-consecutive-times in a row to be considered fair. A’whora has tried to explain it away as just wanting to be liked, just wanting to be good friends, just just just until she can’t justify her own excuses any more and has instead resigned herself to repressing the feelings she has for her friend. The tension between them is building, though, and it’s only a matter of time until something happens.

“BITCH!”

A’whora jumps a little, flinching as she realises she’s gone too long without a comeback. Ellie’s expression is expectant and impatient as she clicks her fingers once, twice, three times in her face.

“Shut up, Ellie-phant,” A’whora manages to mumble almost incoherently as she turns on her heel, walking through to the living room area to sit with Lawrence and join her on her quest to making their speakers work.

Their flat is an odd one. The front door leads to a prison cell-style line of equally pokey rooms- Lawrence’s, Tayce’s, A’whora’s, Bimini’s, Ellie’s and Tia’s respectively- and two bathrooms. Then another door opens out onto two hobs, endless cupboards and grimy, cluttered countertops, and a scrub of shitty green carpet and three worn out red-purple sofas that look as tired as Bimini does when they come home from a random afterparty just as A’whora leaves for lectures. It doesn’t in any way look like a normal flat, but A’whora supposes they’re about as far away from normal as a sentient slice of cheese.

“Oh babe, you must be crushing crushing. I don’t think I’ve heard you come out with a comeback as shit as that in the whole four months we’ve lived together,” Ellie continues the conversation, buzzing behind her like an annoying fly.

“It wasn’t shit, it was good!”

“Lawrie, what’s a good comeback to me calling A’whora a whore?” Ellie appeals to her friend again.

“Rich of you to be calling anyone a whore. You come from a long line of whores. You’re a whore, your maw’s a whore, your maw’s maw was a whore. There’s cave paintings of your ancestors wi’ twelve dicks in their mouths. There’s tapestries of them gettin’ shagged left, right an’ centre. There’s clay sculptures of them being whores. Pipe the fuck doon,” Lawrence reels off, Ellie growing more and more breathless with hysterical laughter beside her and A’whora falling into giggles too.

“Well this was a weird time for me to enter the conversation.”

A’whora feels her heart lift and her face light up when she turns around and sees Tayce walking through to join them, the posture of a model with her fingers curled elegantly around the stem of a wine glass. She flicks her long, dark hair over her shoulder as she sits down on the small sofa beside A’whora, and she wonders how Tayce can sit in a way that makes the stained, battered, scratchy upholstery seem like the set of a high fashion photoshoot.

“Just talking about you,” A’whora sticks her tongue out at her, laughing at the way Tayce reels in fake horror and Lawrence explodes with laughter across from them.

“The valour, the bravery and the backbone,” Tayce grumbles, rolling her eyes. Her gaze rests upon something behind A’whora- the back of the sofa. Maybe there’s a new rip in it, God knows how that can have happened. She holds back a gasp, though, when Tayce reaches out and runs a gentle finger down her spine against her bare skin; an advantage of the sparkly backless cowl neck top she’s wearing that she hadn’t known existed until now. “Speaking of backbones, you’re such a skinny minnie.”

“Did you go to the school of backhanded compliments?” A’whora teases, deflecting from the way her heart’s still thrumming in her chest at the contact.

“Shush, you. You know you look bloody gorgeous,” Tayce says back to her, and even though there’s a laugh to her voice A’whora knows she means it. Her heart’s still going like a train but she can chalk that up to the half can of Monster Ellie’s dumped into her drink, so when she mutters out a thanks hun, same to you she hopes it doesn’t sound as insincere as it feels.

The thing is, she does look gorgeous. She’s dressed in a black lace bodysuit with straps that criss-cross up the back and a tight leather skirt that makes her legs look even longer than they already are. She’s opted for heels like A’whora has (unlike Ellie and Lawrence who have designated night-out trainers stained with spillages of drinks gone by) but hers have straps that are laced all the way round her calves and tied with a knot at the top. Everything about her outfit makes everything about her look outrageously good, and A’whora thinks it should be illegal for anyone to be this ethereal.

Tayce looks as if she’s about to fire something back at her judging by the little smile on her face but she’s interrupted by an outrageously loud boom from the speakers, as something that could be Lady Gaga but is too deafening to be deciphered screams through it. As the girls all flinch there’s a frantic diminuendo that comes from Lawrence mashing the volume button until the pitch is finally bearable and they can all take their hands off their ears.

“Lawrence, did you get the speakers working?” Ellie quips sarcastically, to which Tayce and A’whora burst out laughing and Lawrence almost elbows Ellie off the sofa opposite.

In the melee A’whora almost doesn’t notice Bimini and Tia come in, and they look ready to start the night if a little panicked.

“What the hell was that?” Tia asks quickly, opening the fridge and grabbing her bottle of premixed Malibu and pineapple before perching herself on the couch beside Ellie. “I thought part of the building had exploded.”

“Nah that was just my vagina, babes,” Lawrence says offhandedly, the others either screeching with laughter or groaning in anguish. Bimini crosses the room with their selection of drinks cradled in their arms and budges Tayce and A’whora up with an oi, oi!, A'whora’s pulse thudding at her wrist as a result of her close proximity to her crush.

No- her friend. Her friend who’s never going to be anything more than that.

With the six flatmates assembled, drinks poured, and tunes on, their pre drinks can begin. Pres at their flat often look like drinking games, yelling along to early 2010s pop, tipsily booking taxis and then touching up their makeup in the waiting time before they arrive. Tonight is no different; they bicker about where they want to go and eventually decide on the union because although it’s “too het” according to Ellie, it’s admittedly cheap and a good night out. A’whora chips into the conversation every five minutes with shady, catty jokes that Tayce howls at and leans into her side and clutches her arm or her hand or her thigh.

The contact is nice. They’ve reached that stage of their friendship where they’re touchy and close a lot of the time- A’whora’s constantly playing with Tayce’s hair and Tayce thinks nothing of just walking into A’whora’s room and getting under the duvet with her. They throw their arms around each other and bump shoulders as they walk and touch legs on the sofa, much like they’re doing now. A’whora has never been a cuddly type of friend- to be honest, she still isn’t- but there’s something about doing all this with Tayce that she doesn’t mind. It’s a comfortable kind of intimacy, a knitted blanket of sorts, but it’s a fragile space for Tayce to occupy too and A’whora knows it’s risky to let her rip a wall down she’s never been aware of til now.

The night rolls along and with every refill of A’whora’s glass the music gets turned up a little more, a little more, a little more until they’re all having to yell over each other as they play wiggly wiggly woo, who’s most likely to. It’s all fun and games until it gets to who’s most likely to sleep with a flatmate, and there’s a confusing mess of finger-pointing where Lawrence points to Ellie, Tayce points to Lawrence, and Bimini, Ellie and Tia point to A’whora.

“Fuck off, why’s it me?” she screeches in outrage, trying to cover up the fact her cheeks are burning and that Tayce seems suddenly all too close to her.

“Because! It’s you! It’s A’whora!” Bimini laughs, their accent making them seem all the more mischievous and shit-stirring.

“Well! If I’m sleeping with a flatmate that must mean one of you’s gonna be involved, doesn’t it?!”

“Right, sorry, yeah,” Bimini nods understandingly, before immediately switching to point to Tayce. There’s an arena-crowd roar that erupts from the others, one that makes A’whora laugh and blush scarlet at the same time. She sneaks a look at Tayce, who’s regarding her with much the same expression.

“I’m down if you are, hun,” A’whora jokes-but-not-really, shaking Tayce’s arm as if it’ll take away from the weak joke she’s trying to make. Tayce only shoots her a wink with her tongue trapped between her teeth.

“In your dreams, love.”

A’whora’s glad of the others laughing so she can pretend to join in, occupy herself with something other than the overwhelming urge to reply to Tayce with exactly.

The rest of pres fly by tipsily and incoherently. They get a noise complaint from the weird flat underneath them which seems solely comprised of six boys who never go outside, which prompts them to book taxis even though the union is only about a ten minute walk away. A’whora helps Tia re-glue on her eyelashes in a rush and Bimini spontaneously fills a hipflask with Ellie’s apple sourz, “for the road”. When the taxis roll up outside Lawrence hurries them all out the door with the urgency of a mother of five, and before long they’re standing in a queue around the block, Bimini and A’whora sharing Tia’s huge puffer jacket because neither of them thought to pick up coats in their haste to leave.

Tayce pulls a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket, flips the little cardboard lid of them open and offers them round to the others. A’whora takes one because Tayce is offering, and really Tayce could offer them grenades with the pins pulled out and A’whora would accept if only to get her smile flashed at her again or the chance that their hands might touch during the transfer. A’whora thinks Tayce is every public health campaign’s worst nightmare as she watches her hold the cigarette between her index and middle fingers, wrap her lips around the end and inhale. Her cheekbones are razor-sharp as she drags then lets the breath go, red lipstick on the paper and the smoke curling up into the sparkly, dark night sky.

She is beautiful.

It’s because she’s beautiful that A’whora shouldn’t be surprised by the events that begin to unfold as they enter the club. Ellie immediately makes her way over to a booth, picks up the little sign that says it’s reserved and chucks it onto the dancefloor to get trampled underfoot and covered in sticky cocktail spillages. Tayce’s round is first because she lost Ring of Fire back at the flat so she goes over to the bar for shots, promising she’ll be only a couple of minutes and the others believing her; the way she looks ensures she never has a long wait time at the bar.

So they wait. And they wait. At first they don’t even notice how long they’ve waited- the tunes are good and loud and so they all yell along happily. Until Lawrence turns to the others with narrowed eyes.

“Here. Where the fuck is Tayce? She’s been ages.”

They all scan the bar, and Ellie suddenly points dramatically over to the other end of it. “Oh!”

Because Tayce is standing at the bar with no drinks and no interest in any of the bartenders taking drinks orders. She’s talking to a tall blonde with a dazzling smile and a low-cut crop top, and something inside A’whora burns and sinks at the same time. Tayce is allowed to be talking to a pretty girl. She’s not not allowed to. But it doesn’t make her any less jealous of the attention she’s giving her.

It’s a horror movie she can’t look away from. She’s aware that Ellie has gone to get the drinks instead, but that’s all she can absorb from her surroundings. She tunes out of the conversation at the table as she continues to watch the two of them interact. The girl’s got muscles, and her hair falls in neat waves on her shoulders, and she’s smiley and charming and doesn’t talk much, preferring instead to listen to Tayce. A’whora is different. A’whora is constantly on transmit; loud and opinionated and gobby and, okay, sometimes a little bit judgemental. She can’t do charming and demure. She can’t be what Tayce is very clearly interested in.

A thud next to her causes A’whora to whip her head round, tearing herself away from the scene playing out in front of her and ripping the plaster off.

“Fuck’s sake. Jaegerbombs with Red Bull? Puh-rison!” Ellie half-whines, half-shouts.

“Red Bull is the standard, not everyone can have the same taste in energy drinks as a sixteen year old virgin gamer,” A’whora narrows her eyes, gratefully accepting the drink from her nonetheless and shotting it back as if it’ll help blind her, or perhaps forget what she’s seeing.

“God. Who pissed in your coco pops?” Ellie fires back, rolling her eyes dramatically.

“Bold of you to assume anything specific has happened to make her this bitter, mean and salty,” Tia jokes from A’whora’s side, and as the others scream and laugh A’whora in turn fixes her with a glare, wishing momentarily she had laser beams for pupils.

“Ooh, that’s made me want a tequila,” Lawrence cries enthusiastically, too loud even from the other side of the booth.

“Eh, excuse me! I just got you a Jaegerbomb, finish that first,” Ellie chastises her like a world-weary parent, pushing the glass towards her friend and sliding her hand over the table, sticky with the ghosts of questionable drinks’ past. A’whora has to snort at her tone.

“Yeah Lawrence, finish your Jaegerbomb or you won’t get any dessert. Listen to your responsible Mum whose eyelash is coming off.”

A big roar of laughter flies up from the others, and it’s Ellie’s turn to glare at A’whora this time. She looks as if she’s about to say something back when Bimini sniffs their glass and frowns.

“Is Jaegerbombs vegan?”

Everyone apparently wishes to ignore the lack of grammatical sense to their sentence, and it’s Lawrence who responds first. “They’re vegan in the same sense that bleach is vegan?”

Bewilderingly satisfied, Bimini raises their glass to the middle of the table and the girls join them, cheering as they all clink them together and chuck the drinks back. The fact A’whora can’t join in leaves her eyes to fall on Tayce and that girl again. Tayce is smiling and it’s the brightest thing in the club, laughing as the girl flips her hair and touches her hand and tells some joke that’s obviously not as funny as anything A’whora could say. She wonders if she’s ever made Tayce smile like that. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but she can’t remember.

“You know they used to use Jaeger as cough medicine? And for ages it was drunk by, like…old Tories who went on deer hunts,” Tia reels off excitably, and A’whora can’t help but roll her eyes affectionately at her friend’s bizarre general knowledge. “There’s this rumour that it’s got deer’s blood in it.”

Bimini splutters, coughs, and chokes all at once. As Lawrence slaps their back entirely too roughly in a way that’s about as helpful as a water gun at a house fire, A’whora can’t help but turn to face Tia incredulously.

“What the fuck did you say that for?!”

Tia shrugs, too tipsy to register A’whora’s disbelief. “Fun fact.”

“You didn’t think to pipe up with that when Bims was asking if it was vegan?”

“It’s just a rumour!” Tia says defensively, then turns to Bimini to check they’re okay. A’whora huffs in exasperation, folding her arms and throwing her back against the supposedly cushioned walls of the booth. As she stares straight ahead and ignores the fuss her friends are making, her eyes fall on Tayce again and her heart hurts more than it should to see her with her phone out and the girl beside her doing the same. They’re so clearly swapping numbers. They’re allowed to swap numbers. It’s not like A’whora’s got dibs on Tayce, it’s not like she’s got any right to feel a burn in her stomach and a flame in her heart and a feeling of something slipping away.

“Right!” Lawrence all but yells, forcing A’whora to tear her eyes away. “I’ve finished my Jaegerbomb, Mum, can we get tequila now?”

Ellie sighs. “Fine! But you’re buying me this one, bitch.”

“I’ll come with,” A’whora says, thinking she’ll need at least ten more units of alcohol to stop feeling feelings.  

“We’re going for a boogie, catch us up,” Bimini decides, as Rhythm is a Dancer blasts on the overhead speakers and Tia lets out a whooo! that’s way too white for a mixed-race girl.

So they move, A’whora bum-shuffling her way out of the booth and following Lawrence and Ellie, her feet sore in her heels. She purposefully blocks Tayce out of her peripheral vision as she leans against the bar, but she’s only separated from her by about six people also waiting and if she tilted her head forward she could definitely catch her eye if she wanted.

“Rhythm is a dancer, two for one at Asda,” Ellie sings along, bopping her head enthusiastically. A’whora laughs weakly, her proximity to Tayce and that bitch she’s talking to entirely too distracting.

“Shut your hole and tell me what you’re wanting,” Lawrence orders her. Ellie drums the palms of her hands against the bar as she semi-shouts sambucaaaaa, and A’whora asks for a vodka. She’s aware she’s mixing entirely too many spirits and her hangover tomorrow will be potentially life-threatening, but she doesn’t care.

“Tayce is still there. Should we shout her over and see what she wants?” Ellie suggests, craning her neck. A’whora firmly shakes her head.

“She’s wanting that baby Hulk she’s been talking to all night, apparently,” she all but spits, shocking herself at her venom. It’s clear she shocks the girls as well, and Lawrence turns around and simply raises her eyebrows at her.

“Men’s dress trousers in a hotel.”

A’whora can only blink. “What?”

Lawrence pauses for dramatic effect (or perhaps that’s just the Jaegerbomb making its alcohol content known). She points a finger at A’whora, then finishes whatever point she’s making. “Pressed.”

“Purrr!” Ellie laughs in agreement, grabbing A’whora’s shoulder and shaking it in an action that’s probably meant to be gentle but almost shakes her bone out of its socket. “Oh my God, that totally explains why you’ve been such a bitch all night.”

“This wee cow’s been a bitch her whole life,” Lawrence joins in. A’whora knows she’s got a proper face on by now, Dot Cotton licking piss off a nettle, but she can’t help it. She hates being wound up and she makes this perfectly clear to her friends via her furious silence.

“Nah, but tonight she’s a jealous bitch,” Ellie sticks her tongue out at her, and A’whora huffs.

“I’m not jealous!” she lies. “I’m just pissed off that she comes on a night out with us and she spends it talking to some random bitch she barely knows instead of her friends.”

“Wait. Oh my God, do you fancy Tayce?” Lawrence asks, a bull in a china shop on cocaine. Before A’whora can defend herself Ellie barks a laugh.

“Aw Lauzza, come on to fuck! Have you ever walked in when it’s been just the two of them? They’re so fucking flirty it’s disgusting.”

“DISGUSTEN!” Lawrence shouts, and it goes about ten percent of the way to drawing A’whora out of her mood.

“I don’t flirt with Tayce! I don’t fancy her either!” A’whora cries, exasperated. She realises too-late that her volume may have been too loud, but when she looks over at the topic of conversation again she’s both disappointed and relieved to see that she hasn’t registered a thing. “Anyway, you know you can’t shag your flatmate. It’s like the first rule of having flatmates. It would just make everything awkward.”  

“That the only thing stopping you?” Lawrence looks at her pointedly.  

“The bartender’s free,” A’whora glances just over Lawrence’s shoulder, and she turns around so fast it almost makes her feel dizzy. While Lawrence orders it leaves Ellie to turn to A’whora and pat her hand sympathetically.

“Why don’t you just go up to her?” she suggests. “I mean would it be so bad if you did just shag and get the pent-up tension released and then you can both just move on? I mean it’s not like you want to be her girlfriend or anything.”

A’whora presses her lips together and doesn’t reply. Her silence seems to communicate too much as Ellie’s mouth drops open a little and she fixes her with a pointed stare. “Oh, A’whora.”

“Look, I don’t know,” A’whora rushes to defend herself, her words spilling out over themselves in the way they sometimes do when she’s tipsy. “Like obviously she’s gorgeous but also, like…I do like her as a person as well, and I like being around her and just enjoying her company-”

Ellie splutters a giggle. “Enjoying her company, are you eighty years old in a care home?”

“I’m gonna slap you in a minute, shut up!” A’whora laughs incredulously. “But, like, I just…I don’t know if she likes me back like that, you know?

Ellie frowns. “I think, then, my advice would be…don’t shag her if you don’t think you can keep it to just that. ‘Cause obviously you don’t want to end up getting hurt.”

“Right, yeah,” A’whora replies, nodding.

If she’s honest, she’s disappointed. Obviously she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to sleep with Tayce- because fucking look at her- but just like Ellie said, she knows she would end up getting hurt if anything happened between them. Tayce would probably consider it a one-time thing and A’whora would be let down, or it would turn into some long, drawn-out friends with benefits scenario that would probably make everything worse.

The thing is she can only repress her feelings so much and tonight she’s feeling like one of Ellie’s cans of Monster that Tia shook up as a joke and ended up spurting out its contents so violently that there’s still a green-blue stain on their kitchen wall. A’whora’s way too close to telling the girls about every time she’s pictured her and Tayce falling asleep together and waking up together, every time she’s imagined them planning actual dates, every time she’s wanted to kiss her on the sofa- not necessarily even a kiss kiss but just a peck on the cheek, a soft one pressed to the crown of her head, a little one against their knuckles as they hold hands.

It all sounds ridiculous and silly and way too high school. Nothing seems to work the same at uni. Everyone just seems to shag, hook up, kiss strangers they’ll never see again in the shadows of grimy clubs. Everything seems to happen when everyone’s drunk. Everything’s done out of lust rather than love. Everything is so short-term because you can’t plan for the long term if you wake up and don’t remember the night before.

A’whora loves uni, but she doesn’t like that.

Besides, she’s already done all that in high school anyway. Sixth form had been like a crash course in freshers’ week; if she wasn’t drinking in parks or going to house parties she was sneaking into nightclubs using a fake ID that even Stevie Wonder could’ve seen right through. She’d half-heartedly slept with boys and figured out she liked girls when a sleepover after a party took a turn. She’d tried smoking and she came to the conclusion that she didn’t like it enough to buy her own cigarettes, she’d tried mandy once and that was once too much for her. All of that has prepared her well for uni- she’s street smart and has her head screwed on (for the most part- she’s still testing her limits as far as alcohol’s concerned). But feeling like she’s feeling for Tayce is uncharted territory, and out of everything she’s already done and experienced A’whora finds it hard to believe there’s not an age limit on this sort of thing because it all feels more risky and dangerous than smoking roll-ups in a children’s playpark at one in the morning ever did.

A wayheyyy! from Lawrence cuts through her thoughts and she accepts the shot she’s holding out to her, wordlessly clinking it together with Lawrence’s and Ellie’s and slamming it back as if it’s some form of medicine she desperately needs.

“It’s so weird that you don’t do the whole lime and salt thing,” Ellie wrinkles her nose at her friend, who in turn punches one of her own tits with what seems to be pride.

“‘Cause I’m made of strong stuff, babes. Right, what’s the conclusion on this one? Does she fancy Tayce or no?”

“Surely this is a bathroom stall conversation?” A’whora pouts, annoyed that her feelings for Tayce have been brought back up.

As Ellie relays to Lawrence what she’d said to A’whora, A’whora momentarily wonders if she’s in control of anything in her life any more.

Lawrence nods when Ellie’s done. “Smart advice. ‘Cause it would make things awkward for the flat. ‘Magine trying to make a Pot Noodle in the middle of a live-action episode of Eastenders.”

A’whora screws her face up in confusion. “All episodes of Eastenders are live action?”

“Y’know what the fuck I mean,” Lawrence rolls her eyes in exasperation. “Well we’ve given you our blessing and basically we represent the whole country, so. Go for it.”

“Thanks, Nicola Sturgeon, good to know I have your approval,” A’whora smirks at her, amused. When some Becky Hill song comes on over the speakers she takes it as her cue to smooth down her skirt, flip her hair over her shoulder and rest her little shot glass back on the bar. “Right, we going to have a dance or what?”

As she takes her friends’ hands they all but strut over to the dancefloor, and A’whora can see Bimini and Tia pulling shapes that they probably think make them look mysterious and sexy but actually just make them look as drunk as they no doubt are. Before A’whora can push through the crowd, Lawrence tugs her and Ellie back a bit.

“Here, I think I’ve remembered something Tayce told me once, if this is of any use to you?” she begins.

All of A’whora’s nerve endings light up like one of those colourful optical fiber lamps she had when she was small. Her eyes have clearly flown open and her mouth’s dropped slack without her even having to try, so desperate is she for what Lawrence is about to tell her. Ellie’s beside her equally expectant and anticipative, and Lawrence laughs at the pair of them before she continues.

“It was the pair of us and Tia…Christ, when was it…cannae mind. Think you’d gone home for the weekend and Ellie was doing something wi’ Bims…anyway, coupla’ bottles of wine in and we start playing wee stupid games. We’re doing snog, marry, avoid and Tia gives her…fuck, cannae even remember. Let’s say it was Ellie, Bimini and you. Now I can’t remember what she said for the other two but…” Lawrence pauses dramatically, and A’whora is a hair’s breadth away from practically begging her for the information she’s taking so long to impart. “…she said she would marry you because then she’d get to shag you more than just once.”

A’whora doesn’t think her eyes can go any wider but she somehow manages it. She doesn’t really know how to react but Ellie’s doing enough screaming to suffice for the two of them.

“When the fuck were you gonna tell us that?! Fuck, I can’t believe you never told me that! When did this happen?!” Ellie practically screeches in her face.

“Telt you I cannae mind! Maybe like…a month ago? I don’t know,” Lawrence supplies unhelpfully. Usually A’whora would try to rip the piss out of the way her accent’s gone ten times more Braveheart than usual after her series of drinks, but all she can think about is what she’s been told and, well…she can’t help the butterflies in her heart and the way a satisfied, triumphant grin spreads slowly onto her face.

Ellie’s equally as excited beside her. She whacks A’whora on the arm as she squeals with enthusiasm. “See! Now we know she likes you too!”

A’whora feels as if she’s made of glitter and confetti as she spins around in the direction of the bar. Her heart gives a dip on its rollercoaster of emotions as she sees that Tayce has somehow caught the attention of a different girl- long, dark hair and a blue and orange outfit and a mouth that’s moving at about a mile a minute.

There’s a second before A’whora makes to turn away in disappointment when Tayce’s pupils suddenly flick over to rest on her. Tayce’s self-assured expression and body language seem to falter when she catches A’whora’s eye, and she shoots her a little smile that- if A’whora didn’t know the girl better- she’d say was shy.

“Now the challenge is actually getting a chance to talk to her,” A’whora pouts. Chatting up Tayce and maybe getting to fall into bed with her really isn’t a time-sensitive issue; it doesn’t need to happen tonight, but A’whora’s had a chaotic combination of alcohol that makes her think there’s really no time like the present and hey, maybe this is her one and only chance.

“Well, we can keep an eye on her and when she’s free, then that’s your chance,” Ellie smiles, supportive and excited.

“What chat-up line are you gonnae use? I’ve got a cracker you can have if you want,” Lawrence insists, and A’whora and Ellie share a doubtful look.

“Go on.”

“What did one haggis say to the other haggis?” Lawrence begins. Without giving the other girls a chance to interject, she finishes. “…’Gonnae shaggis?’ ”

“And on that note,” Ellie shakes her head and rolls her eyes, taking both of them by the hand and pulling them into the crowd to join their other friends.

It’s amazing how easy it is to forget about the object of her affection chatting to random girls on the other side of the room when Bimini’s grabbing her and almost launching her across the dancefloor with their euphoric pogo-ing along to each and every song that gets played. The five of them drunkenly bum-ba-ba, bum-ba-ba along to Head & Heart and cheer for Tia when she does Nicki’s rap in Swalla without even stopping for breath. A’whora laughs in confusion with the other girls as Lawrence and Ellie get way too excited, squealing and clutching each others’ hands when some clubland tune that’s apparently much bigger in Scotland than it is in the other three corners of the UK gets put on, the lyrics of which seem to consist solely of the words up-up-up and awayyy. Bimini and Lawrence collect more drinks from the bar and A’whora very nearly knocks Ellie’s out of her hand when Friday comes on and she punches the air.

And then Tayce is on her own.

A’whora’s heart almost siezes up with how fast it jolts into full-blown palpitations because this is the moment she can finally go over and talk to her, the chance to turn their friendship into maybe something more even if that something more is only a random hookup after a night out, but it only takes the time for her to shake Ellie’s arm and point in Tayce’s direction for her to see that, yet again, she’s been approached by someone tall and confident and stunning and everything that A’whora wishes Tayce thought about her.

Her face falls and Ellie snaps her fingers in her line of vision, forcing her to look at her and the motherly expression of tough love she’s wearing.

“Hey. When has anyone ever stopped you getting your own way?” she yells at her over the music, and A’whora laughs half in amusement and half in agreement. As she falls silent, Ellie jerks her head towards the bar. “Go get her, bitch.”

It might be the alcohol, but it hits A’whora with a ironically sobering clarity that Ellie’s right.

So she takes a breath in and struts confidently over to the bar, practically able to feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins (although that could well be the caffeine from the second Jaegerbomb she’s downed this evening with Bimini’s encouragement). She smooths down her skirt so the split runs up the front of her thigh and not the side, adjusts the neck of her top so it’s framing her chest the way she wants it to. She could be nervous but the combined alcohol she’s drunk so far this evening pushes that feeling to the back of her head, replacing it with all-consuming confidence that she can feel from the inside out. She looks good, better than good, and she knows she can flirt even though she’s never really tried to flirt with Tayce. Well, never intentionally.

Okay, that’s maybe a lie.

The realisation that she’s actually going through with this is enough to make her want to freeze to the spot but by some miracle she’s still walking forward until she’s three, two, one steps away from her flatmate and the girl at the bar with too much plastic surgery and hair the shade of a vomit-coloured highlighter pen. A’whora wedges her shoulder in between the pair of them, hears the girl give a little tut/sigh hybrid from behind her but A’whora’s not really interested in bickering with her, not when Tayce’s eyes have fallen on her and she’s looking at her, really looking at her with a little playful smile on her painted lips.

“Hey baby boo,” Tayce says by way of a greeting, and A’whora feels her heart melt just a little. She’s being adorable, but she’s not going to let that damage her confident, composed exterior. Until Tayce follows up by running a hand down her arm and lacing their fingers together. “I haven’t seen you all night, I missed you.”

With that, A’whora feels the little cocky smirk she’s wearing break out into a shy grin, one that she hopes doesn’t look as ridiculously goofy as it feels. “Well. Maybe you would’ve seen more of me if you hadn’t been playing Take Me Out with half the bloody girls in here.”

“Who, me?” Tayce gasps, clutching the gold chain around her neck and pretending to be affronted. A’whora doesn’t mean to roll her eyes but she clearly does, and the small giggle she draws out of Tayce as a result makes it almost worth it. The squeeze Tayce gives her hand turns that almost into a definitely, as does what Tayce follows up with. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, you know.”

“You’re cute…all the time,” A’whora claps back, wishing she had some sort of drink in her hand to press against her face as she feels her blush start to bloom across her cheeks.

“I know, babe, that’s why I’ve been getting my drinks bought for me all night,” Tayce winks.

If Awhora uses that as a signal to pull her bank card from her bra, that’s nobody’s business but her own. The way Tayce’s gaze flicks to her chest lights a match in her heart. “Well…let me buy you one and then you won’t have to miss me so much.”

Tayce’s awed smile spreads slowly onto her face and they agree on tequila shots, the phase of the evening where they were nursing their drinks left firmly in the dust as the bartender hands them a salt shaker, two little shot glasses and two wedges of lime. The way Tayce’s tongue slides over the side of her hand before she sprinkles the salt and the way their eyes meet as she licks it up makes A’whora’s mouth dry, so the tequila’s welcome for a split second before she remembers why she hates it, the flavour and sheer strength of the alcohol akin to being hit by a truck.  

As she grabs desperately for the lime like it’s an oxygen mask on a crash-landing plane, Tayce laughs and shakes her head pityingly. “You always end up ordering tequila and you always, always hate it.”

A’whora blinks as she composes herself, gives a little shiver of recovery. She cocks her head at Tayce inquisitively. “I didn’t know you remembered that.”

Tayce looks to the ground as she smiles, tucks a piece of her long hair behind her ear. It’s endearing and soft and it makes A’whora panic, so she presses her lips together and raises an eyebrow at Tayce questioningly. “So, how’d your little episode of Blind Date go anyway?“

"Gosh, you’re really pressed about this, aren’t you?” Tayce’s eyes are narrow as she smirks at her, and now it’s A'whora’s turn to look embarrassed. The soft laugh Tayce gives is reassuring so A'whora’s gaze drifts back up again and their eyes meet as she speaks again. “Well, there was, uh…blonde lady. Blonde lady with the muscles and the eyeliner. God, what was her name?”

“This is off to a flying start.”

“Kameron!” Tayce yells in her face as she remembers. It makes A’whora snort with laughter, something that’s probably wildly unattractive but she knows Tayce has seen her do it before. “And then there was, uh, Priyanka. I remember her name because she kept telling me every two minutes. That was a wild conversation.”

“Uh-huh. Who was the bitch I elbowed out the way?”

Tayce smirks at her, wobbles a little in her heels and steadies herself against the bar. “That was…Detox.”

“Radox?”

Tayce splutters. “Detox!”

“Should’ve called herself Botox, would’ve been nearer to the mark,” A’whora turns up her top lip. Tayce explodes in an outraged laugh beside her, clutches her wrist in a way that makes A’whora hope she won’t be able to feel her rapid pulse.

“Says Aurora Georgia Boyle, who asked for lip fillers for her eighteenth and was actually allowed to get them!”

“Don’t full name me, piece of shit!” A’whora gasps in mock-offence, shakes herself away from Tayce’s grip but finds her inexplicably nearer to her than she was before. She’s not necessarily complaining, though, because her whole left side is against Tayce’s right and there’s some form of other-worldly magnetism that seems to keep them pressed together. It makes her heart flutter so she tucks a section of hair behind her ear before she frowns. “I never told you that. How come you know that?”

“You did tell me! Back in freshers week! You just don’t remember,” Tayce giggles, poking her cheek with one acrylic nail. It should hurt more than it does. Maybe it does hurt and A’whora can’t feel it. She’s had a lot to drink.

It’s the alcohol she blames when she hooks an arm around Tayce’s waist, tilts her head and drops her volume to a murmur. “You seem to remember a lot of things about me.”

Tayce’s eyes widen just that little bit. “Well you’re a bit of an unforgettable person, really.”

Her words make A’whora’s heart light up so much that she can feel herself glowing from the inside out. She brings her other arm around Tayce in a tight hug, her hands joining at the small of her back, and Tayce mirrors her so they’re both anchoring each other. It’s hard for her to remember whether they’ve ever shared a hug like this before. It seems too intimate for friends, but A’whora doesn’t mind.

“Tayce.”

“Rory,” Tayce replies, mimicking her whine and the way she draws her name out. A’whora likes the nickname she gives her probably more than she should; she supposes it’s because only Tayce uses it and because it’s rooted in her actual given name.

A’whora pouts, squeezes Tayce’s waist. “I missed you tonight, you know.”

“Missed you too. Missed you so much,” Tayce murmurs back.

She’s already said it, A’whora knows she’s already said it, but with the way they’re both gazing at each other it seems to mean something more, something different. It’s ridiculous- they’re both drunk, and famously no good decisions have ever happened when two people have had this many assorted shots, but somehow it feels like all of this is just right.  

A’whora drops her head to rest it on Tayce’s shoulder and she feels her arms tighten around her in response. Her lips graze her neck as she murmurs against it. “Not leaving me again.”

There’s a pause where she can’t really see Tayce’s expression or how she’s reacted. Her heart freezes, and the terror and reality of having crossed the line between friendship and whatever the hell this is suddenly consumes her whole body. She’s relieved, then, when Tayce eventually mutters against the crown of her head.

“All yours, baby.”

And she presses a kiss to her hair. Just like A’whora’s been dreaming about for so long.

She feels giddy and dizzy with absolute euphoria, so it’s that she blames when she puts her lips against Tayce’s neck again and plants one, two, three little kisses there in quick succession.

“Tayce,” she whispers again. She doesn’t really know what she wants to say or how to say it, but she knows she doesn’t want to go back to the dancefloor, and she doesn’t want to be with their other friends. She just wants her and Tayce together for however long she’ll let it be that way, and she doesn’t even care about the busy bar or the drunk students that bump into them every so often or the stares from the rowdy group of rugby lads that would usually make her feel intimidated, but not when she’s with Tayce.

When she’s with Tayce everything seems a little bit better somehow, just by her being there.

So maybe it’s that, or maybe it’s the tequila, or maybe it’s the feeling of having Tayce’s arms around her that makes A’whora tilt her head back up again and meet Tayce’s waiting lips with her own. There’s none of the usual hesitation or awkward pause that comes with kissing someone new because really the amount of times A’whora’s imagined this, dreamt about it, thought about it in daydreams that completely unhook her from reality, it’s as if it’s happened before.

Nothing has prepared her for the real thing though. How Tayce brings a hand up to rest at her jaw and how the other stays placed against the bare skin of her back, warm and supportive. How the both of them sway a little, unsteady in their heels as if they’ve been knocked for six. How Tayce’s body is close against hers and A’whora pushes a hand in her hair in an attempt to somehow bring her even closer. How kissing Tayce leaves her breathtaken and satisfied yet somehow amplifies her feeling of longing, because the more she gives to her the more A’whora wants and with every second that Tayce’s lips are on hers she can only feel the heat that’s pooling in her stomach growing more and more intense.

When Tayce pulls away and A’whora can only catch her breath, she fixes her with a lazy, half-lidded smile that makes her insides turn to melted honey.

“That was nice,” she blinks, and she’s a second away from kicking herself- because, really?- when Tayce giggles softly under her breath. She brushes a little piece of A’whora’s hair off her face, and the gentleness of the action throws her a little. A’whora brings her arms up to loop around her neck, and she leans in close again. “I wanna do it again.”

“I want to do…a lot of things. With you,” Tayce says, casual and chill as if her words haven’t just sent A’whora up in flames.

“Like…?”

“Like…maybe come back to mine and I’ll show you, baby.”

The whole moment’s perfect enough for A’whora to almost overlook the blunder Tayce has just made, but her nature dictates that she can’t let her get away with it. “We…we live together.”

Tayce lets out a snort, bumps her forehead against A’whora’s as she despairs of herself. “Right. Well…we gonna go home, then?”

A’whora doesn’t need to be asked twice. She laces her fingers in Tayce’s, resolves to text the others to tell them they’ve left, and stumbles towards the exit with her heart thumping wildly in her chest.

When she blinks, she’s tired, she’s in bed, it’s bright, and she’s confused as all hell.

The headache hits her like a sledgehammer to the face and she blinks slowly and heavily, adjusting herself to her surroundings. She’s in her own room, she can tell that much from the photos of her and her friends from back home on the cupboard and the fairy lights on her desk that aren’t switched on. Her mouth feels like a badger’s shat in it and her eyes are all achey, and as she throws an arm up to rub at them she’s surprised when she doesn’t see any leftover eye makeup on the back of her hand.

“The kraken awakes.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” A’whora flinches, her head whipping over to the foot of her bed to find Tayce sitting cross-legged leaning against the wall, her phone in her hand. She’s wearing her old leggings with the bleach stains and the hole at the calf, and a purple tie-dye sweatshirt that’s a size too big for her. Her hair’s loose and framing her face and the only makeup she has on is the little scattering of eyeliner that’s hanging tight to her lash line and has managed to escape the makeup wipe.

She looks disarmed and shy. There’s something comforting about it, because A’whora feels confused and completely on the back foot and she has no idea what’s going on. But there’s a warm smile on her face and it meets her eyes, so despite her disorientation A’whora feels safe.

“How long’ve you been there? Were you just watching me sleep like some…creepy Twilight vampire?” A’whora groans, sitting up and leaning forward and taking a deep breath as if it’ll make her headache go away.

Tayce laughs in a way that makes A’whora think the question’s flustered her, but she’s not sure. “The others went to get breakfast. I said I’d stay with you. Didn’t want you to be on your own feeling like shit and maybe having the fear.”

“I am having the fear. I don’t even know how we got home.”

The way Tayce’s face drops in what looks like abject panic makes her wonder what did happen last night. “Wait. What do you actually remember?”

A’whora’s heart is racing as she scans her mind for memories. Pres, club, drinks, booth. Tayce talking to some girl. Dancefloor. Tayce. Talking to Tayce. Kissing Tayce-

Kissing Tayce.

“Oh, no,” A’whora blurts out involuntarily. Her eyes are wide as she looks at Tayce. “We…did we? We did?”

Tayce’s face seems to relax as she bursts out laughing, and it all comes flooding back to A’whora and hits her like a train. Everything that had seemed like such a good idea last night now seems like the most awkward situation in the world now that Tayce is here, on her bed, and they’re both sober.

“Tayce, no,” A’whora whines, putting her head in her hands as her friend keeps laughing. “No! That’s so awkward. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it was a good kiss,” Tayce smiles back, somehow both coy and self-assured at once. It’s her reaction that causes a new wave of cold horror to crash against A’whora, a wave on a rock.

“Oh, Jesus. Did anything else happen?”

Tayce grows animated. “God, yeah, we had the best sex ever. Sixty-nines, scissoring, we got the vibrators involved. It was bloody lush.”

A’whora’s too hungover to realise that Tayce is winding her up until she screeches with laughter right in her horrified face. “Oh my God, Rory, your face! No I’m joking, ‘course I’m joking.”

“Thank fuck,” A’whora sighs a world-weary sigh of relief, throwing herself back down against her pillows and immediately regretting it for the way her brain ricochets against her skull and makes her headache ten times worse. “So what did happen?”

“Well, you wanted to walk back because you wanted to look at the stars, so when we got to the square we lay down and looked at the stars for a bit. And then I wanted to go get chips and cheese but you were dragging me back home because you were so horny,” Tayce looks at her pointedly, and A’whora groans with embarrassment, grabbing her pillow and shoving it over her face. “But then after we got up the stairs and in through the door you said you felt sick, so I then had to hold your hair back while you threw up last night’s pasta bake and what looked to be about fifty different kinds of alcohol into the toilet bowl. Then I had to put you to bed and stay up half the night making sure you didn’t choke on your own tongue while you were asleep. Best one night stand I’ve ever had.”

When A’whora takes the pillow away, Tayce winks at her. She feels like putting the pillow back.

“I’m honestly so sorry,” she pouts. She is sorry. Part of her wishes she could at least properly remember what it had felt like to kiss Tayce. All the memories of the moment are much too paper-thin and flimsy, butterfly wings that’re all too rapidly flying away. Tayce isn’t giving her any cause to be embarrassed, but A’whora is anyway.

So she’s not sure what Tayce is going to say when she leans forward, takes her hand and gives it a squeeze. “Go brush your teeth.”

A’whora thinks she might be the first person in history to have cause of death: cringe written on her birth certificate. “You’re really adding insult to injury, aren’t you? Telling me all the embarrassing shit I did while I was off my face and then basically telling me my breath smells like dog shite.”

Tayce laughs as she shakes her head. “Just go do it, idiot.”

She’s never been one to say no to Tayce so A’whora drags herself out from under her duvet towards the little sink tucked away in the corner of her room, the cold chill of the freezing air hitting her bare arms and her feet and rendering her even more miserable. It’s only when she’s halfway through scrubbing at her teeth when it registers that she’s even got pyjamas on.

“Did you have to put my pyjamas on for me?” A’whora asks around her toothbrush, realising all too late that trying to talk through a mouthful of toothpaste is probably as unattractive as vomiting into the toilet bowl.

(The toilet bowl is definitely worse, but she’s just thinking this to help herself feel better.)

Tayce looks up from her phone and raises an eyebrow. “Nah, you managed to do it yourself. You did make me watch you put your stick-on bra on your forehead, though. Apparently it was the funniest thing in the world.”

A’whora just groans as she turns back to the sink, spitting out the toothpaste and following it with mouthwash just to completely clean her mouth of the various alcoholic sins of the night before. She crawls back into bed with a wearied sigh, and she’s surprised when Tayce falls on her side and scoots up beside her, laying on her side and facing her so their noses are almost touching. A’whora feels her heart lift and her pulse speed up, and it’s not helped by the way Tayce reaches out and tucks a little piece of hair behind her ear.  

Tayce trails her fingers across to cup A’whora’s cheek, and she’s almost whispering when she speaks. “Thank God. Just wanted to do this again.”

When she leans in A’whora shuts her eyes, meets her halfway, and feels every cell in her body electrify when their lips touch. If kissing Tayce in a club when they were both drunk was good, then kissing her hungover in bed is somehow even better, and A’whora’s mystified at the way her headache seems to completely disappear with every second she spends with her lips on Tayce’s, kissing her gently and softly as if they’ve got all the time in the world. Tayce smells of everything comforting- Tresemme shampoo, snow fairy shower gel, the fabric softener she uses that’s way too expensive for a student budget. Fresh and clean and somehow new. It’s the simplest heaven A’whora has ever experienced.

Tayce pulls away and they both giggle, embarrassment and awkwardness gone now that the elephant in the room’s been addressed. A’whora only realises Tayce has taken her hand when she lets it go, pushes herself off the mattress and crosses the room towards the door.

“We should do that again some time,” she smiles wickedly by way of a goodbye, and A’whora can only nod bashfully in reply and agreement. Tayce has given her hope to hold on to, and she knows she’s going to cling to it ridiculously until whatever this is happens again.

She can’t wait.

Just as Tayce opens her door and A’whora resigns herself to her leaving, she lifts her head off the pillow when she hears her flatmate’s voice again as she disappears into the hallway.

“And go have a shower. You smell like tequila.”

[englandsgray]

Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       

What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

X

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

[the7thcrow]

fic writer tag!!

thank you so much for the tag @aliceu! i got very excited when i saw 🥰🥰

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

*sigh*

please excuse my middle school self, but there was both a supernatural… and a hamilton/hunger games story. please, please do not ask it makes me want to cry.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

skz and ateez! maybe i’ll dabble into a one-shot with other groups, but as of now i’m very content with that :3

3. how long have you been writing?

is it cheesy to say forever lmao? i have relatives i don’t recall ever meeting telling me i told them stories i made up when i could barely talk. i also have journals upon journals full of stories starting from when i was is the first grade, leading up to when i learned to type.

writing is kinda what i wanna do with my life, so i haven’t ever really stopped in all that time. so yeah haha, forever i guess🤷🏼‍♀️

4. what platforms do you post your stories?

tumblr and ao3!

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

probably angst, tbh. but like, stories that have lots of angst, but also moments of fluff and romance to balance it out.

but also fantasy stories. that’s my fav genre to both read and write.

6. are you a pantser or a planner.

a planner. 100%. i don’t think i’ve ever started writing a story without at least an outline. sometimes i change things along the way if i really want to, but that’s the only time i go in with no game plan.

7. one-shot or multi-chapter?

oh, both! both for sure. i enjoy how much development you can build over a multi-chapter fic, but they do get to be a lot of work sometimes lmaoo. one-shots are just really fun. not as big of a commitment, but at the same time, you often can’t dive as deep into things.

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

for writing i would say 6k, because that’s when i start to get a bit tuckered out lmaoo.

for reading, the longer the better. if i’m invested, i love getting a bunch of content all at once ☺️

9. what is your longest story?

indulgence! it’s not done yet, but it’s currently sitting at 28.8k.

10. what story did you enjoy writing the most?

i would say indulgence, but i’m ngl this last chapter has been destroying me with writers block. so maybe daisies? it was very cute and fun and i flew through it a lot faster than i can usually write.

11. favourite request you’ve written and why?

as of now, i don’t write requests. i have too many ideas stored up to write first. 🥴

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

uh.

that’s a really good question lmao. and i honestly have never thought about it. probably? i mean, i guess i’ve written a lot of strangers to lovers so far?

13. current number of wips?

that i am currently writing writing? 2. but as for plotted out and some dialogue sitting in my notes? at least 10.

14. three things you have noticed about you writing?

1) comma abuse. i just, use a lot of commas, maybe too many sometimes.

2) (starts dialogue) *small description of who said such dialogue and what they are doing* (ends dialogue)

3) use of one words sentences for ~emphasis~

15. a quote you like from a published story.

from a train, her lips, the music. :

“Hyunjin loved you before he saw you. Well, perhaps not you yourself, exactly. But your sound. The way with every note you played, that with every piano key that was blessed with the grace of your fingertips the empty theatre seemed to come to life. Your music would dance through the absent audience with the footsteps of an angel, soft and melodic. Hauntingly beautiful. Perfect.”

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

from i lost something in the hills. :

there was much you wanted to say, about war. about the draft. about how ridiculous it was to not be able to speak in your own home.

however, you would say none of it. not out of weakness, or fear, but rather because if you did you’d be sent to your room. you’d be taken away from the conversation entirely, from the information you desired.

and information you’d learned, for a young woman of your time, was the most valuable asset of all.

17. space for you to say something to your readers~

well, thank you ofc🥰 thank you for taking your time to read my work, it genuinely means the world to me. for anyone who has ever left a nice comment, or ask, or just screamed in the tags of a reblog, i luv you. you inspire me to write more, and i appreciate you so so much. 🤍🥺

tagging: @healinghyunjin and i see most people i know have been tagged already, so anyone else who writes and wants to do this ☺️

[asokatanos]

do you have any fic recs for the mentalist?

I told you I’d post some for you tonight and here they are!! Unfortunately I did a lot of reading while I was still obstinately REFUSING to make another ffnet account, so I didn’t save like a good 90% of what I read, some of which was excellent. But here are some of the ones I did +fav or whatever they call it there. No particular genre since your ask was open ended, but, well-

(sorry in advance - these are mostly ffnet links but they’re worth braving that site I swear)

((also this is definitely a non-exhaustive list. there’s some real talent in this fandom))

Consummate Connection Confrontation - these are three separate fics in that order by the absolutely inimitable @hardlyloquatious. Literally everything they’ve written is amazing. I’ve completely exposed myself because my first rec is sort of. uh, lightly 18+. But I had to put this author at the top of my list because I love them so much. The way Jane talks in Consummate has literally kept me awake more than once. It’s honestly more sweet and touching than anything but it’s definitely uh. not something your boss should catch you with I guess.

Long Lost, Long Last - same author. This was written and posted before My Blue Heaven aired, but it has the same vibe as that episode, except deliciously drawn out. It starts off with Jane being his kinda silly self and deciding he wants to try his hand at letter writing, so he writes little notes for the whole team. Lisbon is the only one who gives him a note back, and they take to leaving each other lil notes - until RJ is killed and Jane disappears to do some soul searching. This fic is so... beautiful and I think about it with some frequency. “Consummate” is hot but Long Lost Long Last is why HL is my fave TM author.

Practice - okay one last one from this author. This one isn’t like, groundbreaking, but it’s just the SWEETEST look at how much Jane tries after they get together. I’m a sucker for Jane being sweet. Clearly, since that’s why Consummate is at the top of this list.

Blood Red Moon - the author is 221b Baker Street. Their fics are a LOT more heavy. But they’re so, so good. Their mastery of language is incredible and their fics read like professionally written books - and they do Jane/Lisbon banter incredibly well. Some of the imagery they use has genuinely stuck with me. Also see Sacraments in Scarlet (Jane pretends to be a priest), Arsenic and Red Lace (murder at an assisted care facility and Jane being the cheery and extremely sad bastard that he is), Jonathon Redding (a take on Red John that is deeply clever), a Road lEss traveleD (this is. unsettling. it’s extremely good but save it for the last from this author, wait until you love them first. The payoff for not-as-it-seems comes towards the end but it really is worth waiting for).

Blood Wind - by Gone2Far speaking of unsettling. THIS ONE. God this fic is so good. Spooky as fuck in a way that’s a little X-Filesy and incredibly well written. I want to live very far from this fic while at the same time wrapping myself in its words so I can borrow a crumb of talent.

In Case series - @halfagonyandhope (yay, they’re on tumblr). This rec list isn’t necessarily in any sort of order because after HL, halfagonyandhope is second fave author. This particular series is SO ROMANTIC and LOVELY and I kinda wanna cry kinda wanna read it again and again. My favorite one in the series is Ya’aburnee but you have to read the ones preceding it to make any sort of sense. Also now that I’m looking at all of these again I’m realizing that apparently the second installment stuck with me more than I expected because I wrote more than 10k words of something that has a vaguely similar theme (which I will post later). 

Qumran and Reset - by J. Roddam. This author only ever seems to have written these two but they’re fucking EXQUISITE. I generally avoid AUs in this fandom because the concept of erasing Jane’s past does NOT sit right with me but Reset is one of the only exceptions I’ve made. It has soulmate vibes without being like, a tumblr soulmate story. Both of them are living SUCH different lives than their canon counterparts but somehow it actually works and it’s beautiful. Qumran is similarly without peer.

Pretending, I: Witness - @inkstainedfingers97. I wouldn’t even know where to start but I love every single thing about this fic - and it’s recently been completed! I was lucky enough to get to binge read a majority of it but waiting for updates was also genuinely thrilling too. Fake/Real Married for WITSEC reasons, real love for obvious reasons. Also the Lorelei dynamic is way more intense than on the show in a way that’s at once very uncomfortable and very believable.

27 Minutes - by Idan. Okay. Okay so this author commented on one of my fics and I almost lost it because I really love theirs. I was smiling for like an hour when I saw the notification from them!! 27 Min is my favorite one but In The Cards is widely rec’d by others for very good reason, it’s so good. The Pretender is also excellent, written based on promos of Orange Blossom Ice Cream and so a bit AU from there.

Eighteen Hours - I would definitely be remiss if I didn’t mention @leafenclaw (and actually, I was remiss because I realized while making this post that theirs were some of those early fics I read that I never +fave etc, so ty for the ask so I can do it now, anon). Leafenclaw writes SO well and I have an extra soft spot for them because they pointed me in the direction of a lot of fics and were one of the first ppl I ever spoke with in this fandom since luckily they’re on tumblr too. Also Kindred (note - both of these are still WIP but being updated/worked on!) Chasing Storms is complete, incredible, angsty, beautiful. Also I kind of want to borrow the idea of writing one story around a set of many prompts like this. I don’t actually think I’ve ever seen anyone else do that?

The Long Way Back - by LouiseKurylo I consider them sort of a friend because they’ve been SO supportive while I was writing  Saving Grace but even before that with a new suit, another pair of socks, and a terrible couch. And I’ve seen them supporting everybody else too - they’re just SO NICE. Their fics are also very interesting, and they sort of bring Jane and Lisbon much more into the real world. There’s more real life problems to go hand in hand with mentalist plot type problems, which makes for very interesting reading. Fischer in this particular fic is FASCINATING. Also, a hot tip @leafenclaw shared with me: Louise’s faves list has 500 stories in it and pretty much everything in there is worth reading.

Last but OBVIOUSLY not least I wanna mention some of the very cute and talented and actively posting people here on tumblr in our little mentalist squad of approximately 12 people lmao. You probably already know @gracevanpelt aka LilyThistle’s Big Blue, Red Road, Breathe, and Collusion. I have an especially soft spot for Breathe actually even though it’s the least plotty of the lot. I just think it works so perfectly on its own, as is, like a quiet little interlude. No muss no fuss as Jane would say - and I love it a lot. @asambergs aka cmbing’s how glad i am that you exist is actually the FIRST piece of Mentalist fic I ever read, and then I was pulled down this slippery slope to end up posting this at 11:52 pm on a Thursday night. And I’m not about to forget @pjane aka epaynter whose words are so beautifully atmospheric and who writes the softest Jane (I love Soft Jane and will fight anyone who disagrees about it!!)

Aaaand a nice and shameless self plug in the form of ao3 links: Come Fly With Me (this is the softest thing I’ve ever written), Saving Grace (an actual, complete, fully plotted fic. 14 year old me is SHAKING), a new suit, a terrible couch, another pair of socks (this last was inspired by @asambergs fics actually, and was the first thing I wrote in this fandom!)

[shipping-receiving]

JB Fav Fics

Ages ago, I reblogged @chickren​‘s post (from 2013!) and I promised to give it a shot but got all tied up with my dissertation and my own fic. Now that my dissertation is done, I HAVE COMPLETED THIS. Bear in mind these answers might be a bit ‘dated’ as well (by a few months) because I’ve not been reading much fic on my end. Turns out when I’m writing my own, I can only hold one version of J/B in my head. 

Anyway this list is LONG AND TOOK ME FOREVER and I also wrote comments because I can’t help myself. So everything is under the cut. I took out the Shuffled Challenge one (very 2013 lol) and I replaced it with a category called... favourite S8 fix-it. Can you believe it? After I made all this noise about not being able to read fix-its?

[J/B Fic Recs: Master Post if anyone needs it before we start things off]

Favourite fic set immediately after ADWD Second to fucking none: Honor Thy Regard by SigilBroken Nights Without Armor by bratanimus

Favourite fic set a long time after ADWD Oh. Salt Wife by Lady_in_Red. Breathtaking simplicity.

Favourite TV canon fic Pretty and Traveling Far by astolat A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf

Favourite S8 fix-it Yes, I know. I can’t deal with fix-its. And yet. Ice by Gwen77 Ring Them Bells by kirazi Battle is the Great Redeemer by Lady_In_Red

Favourite modern AU Clean hands by you-know-who (... it’s Gwen77) + all the classics:  Fever by Lady_In_Red On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken And of course our recent fandom favourite: two halves of a soul by angel_deux

Favourite kiss (Don’t specify chapter) Okay this is kind of a random one but I remember re-reading Roommate Wanted by JustAGirl24 a couple months back, and when they finally kissed I wanted to freaking throw my phone across the room. It’s not even described in detail, it was just such a perfectly timed OMFG!!! THEY KISSED! moment.

Favourite smut Anything by Miss_M, good lord. My all-time favourite is Golden and True (modern AU, sequel to Ball and Chain), but for canon!verse it has to be Heart’s Desire and Spring Awakening. And obviously I have to say Flawed by francoeurs – smut exploring J/B’s Issues with a capital I? I’m THERE.

And for multi-chapter fic, Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria is fire. Oh and also, everyone’s favourite professor AU, Stacked by QuizzicalQuinnia.

Favourite UST On the Night’s Watch and Someone to Watch Over Me by Miss_M. I love that these two fics take place over such a short time (a few days) but they manage to feel like slow burns. That’s fucking skill right there.

Best written fic I hate this question. You want me to pick the best-written fic out of the FIVE THOUSAND J/B FICS ON AO3? Lmao I’m skipping.

Favourite fic with an unusual premise Multiverse central: All the Roads are Winding by ShirleyAnn66 In which Brienne can turn into a sea lion: This Is Your Wilderness by hardlyfatal GENDER SWAP: all knights are gallant and all maids are beautiful by janie_tangerine Jaime is a sculptor: Madonna of the Balcony by QuizzicalQuinnia Jaime does needlework: Hold This Threadbare Heart at Needlepoint by nire

Favourite action scene Words by astolat. The entire battle sequence.

Favourite dialogue Clean hands by Gwen77, Chapter 9. So cathartic, and SO MUCH HAPPENING. Not just J/B but Tyrion and Cersei on the phone too. I mean I just tried to re-read it to pick an excerpt (I can’t) and I already started crying lmao

Favourite characterization of Jaime A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf. THE NUANCE. THE DETAIL.

Favourite characterization of Brienne Any fucking thing by Gwen77. Especially Clean hands, Diplomacy and Ice.

Favourite relationship development Where I follow, you’ll go by Lady_In_Red Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken, OBVIOUSLY It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Patience on a Monument by betts, even though they’re already friends, because betts makes me sit through Jaime/Sansa and Brienne/Tormund and yet I still re-read this.

Favourite use of non-typical character. Exclude these: Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, Hyle, Cersei, Sansa, Margaery, Tyrion, Daenerys, Selwyn, Tywin. Hmm this is a tough one. Maybe Loras the photographer in Living Fiction by Archetype_Electraheart

Favourite plot In This Light by SigilBroken for canon!verse endgame On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M and Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria for modern AU. I love J/B investigating stuff together.

Favourite title Nobody Knows / You Know and I Know by Miss_M “There’s a story,” Brienne says, “about a corrupt official who went to a sage and offered him to take part in a scheme, promising no one would ever know. ‘How can you say that?’ the sage replied. ‘I know, and you know, and the earth knows, and the sky knows.’”

Favourite WiP (finished or unfinished) With All Your Faults by seaspirit (close to the end!!!) The Descent by openmouthwideeye And this is finished but Tale As Old As Time by BrienneofThrace. She came back after like four years to finish it?! That alone is fandom magic.

Favourite long one-shot Pretty by astolat (wtf this is 30k?)

Favourite short one-shot OH MY GOD THE GLASSES FIC. Age Gap by ikkiM

Favourite drabble Mmmmm I don’t really read drabbles so I’ll skip this too.

Favourite beginning What is True, But Not Ideal by Vera: Jaime doesn’t appear for like four chapters and yet I was still on board.

Favourite ending IT’S FUCKING Clean hands by Gwen77 OKAY DON’T @ ME. Traveling Far by astolat – because she just Went There and gave J/B five kids The Sorrows That Women Cause by Mussimm (seventh and final part of Works and Days, in which they just... bang)

Favourite story twist more like the man you were meant to be by janie_tangerine. I mean, this isn’t really an internal twist, more like a twist on canon The Importance of Knocking by Miss_M, since it’s a story twist for Cersei lol.

Funniest story St George's Day by sansasparky The Best Legs You've Ever Seen by ikkiM

Favourite angst In the first version of this list I said I wouldn’t pick Gwen77 again for this one, and then I re-read Ice and cried my eyes out for like, the whole thing. Special mention for catherineflowers’ series We Need to Talk About…, because of how much she just commits entirely to some really dark stuff. It’s something I wouldn’t necessarily re-read, but just the audacity it took for her to write this is really impressive.

Favourite fluff The Higher Education of Brienne of Tarth and Drunken Shenanigans with Jaime and Brienne by BrienneofThrace. Anything by BrienneofThrace to be honest. She does the purest J/B. Also, Nothing That Is So, Is So by RoseHeart, and i get to be the other half of you + The 'Kiss Me' Series by sameboots.

Favourite Jaime line Yooooooo that part in Laying Siege by astolat when Jaime just launches into his wedding proposal: “I swear to you before these witnesses that I will protect Sansa Stark with my life, beside you. I will never take the field against her. I will take your name and your crest and your house as my own—”... I can feel myself being Brienne going WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Favourite Brienne line Yeah yeah here I go picking Gwen77 again. The very last lines of all her fics always slay me, but this is the only line I can quote verbatim, from Diplomacy: “Trapped, he had said, worry in his voice. Ruined. She had never felt so free.”

Favourite general line or excerpt I love the way Gwen77 commits to the motif of walls in Ice. I freaked out about it here. And then after all that talk about Brienne building up her walls she just HITS US WITH THIS FINAL LINE:

“Jaime was hers, encircling, warm, solid as a wall. He would catch her if she fell.”

Favourite non-romantic fic The tale of Squire!Brienne series by LadyRhiyana

Favourite maiming adaptation in a modern AU Fever by Lady_In_Red, because I love how the whole story is built on Jaime learning how to ride again with a mangled hand

Favourite kidfic Not really a full-on kidfic, but You Know and I Know (sequel to Nobody Knows) for that Jaime & Tommen relationship, plus that conversation J/B have about having kids in future. Oh, and so brief, but Traveling Far by astolat.

Craziest scene that was in character and made sense (Don’t specify chapter) Let’s just go for the entirety of Stannis Baratheon, Fantasy Football League Commissioner by ikkiM AND THAT FUCKING J/B/C FIC THAT I READ BECAUSE I DIDN’T LOOK AT THE TAGS OKAY: Pride by astolat

Most underrated fic My Fall by TeamGwenee. Witches in 1600s colonial America AND in first person POV? IT WORKS THO. Such an interesting and original premise, and written in a very refreshing succinct style, and yet this multi-chapter fic has less than 200 kudos. Another one with less than 200 kudos: and you’ve whispered what I’m worth by angel_deux, a really lovely Mad Max: Fury Road AU.

Most desperate to see updated NO PRESSURE!!! for our world is cold and full of monsters by chancellor_valdez room service by ssstrychnine A Star Within the Mere by isavedlatin (sigh)

Favourite J/B as a secondary couple Some Kind of Family by crossingwinter

Most haunting Fool by astolat. I don’t know why. It’s a very beautiful story and it’s not even a bad ending for J/B necessarily, but the fact that it ends the way it does just really fucks me up. It’s the only fic in my bookmarks that I don’t think I can ever bear to re-read.

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Jaime and another character One Of The Few Things by anniebibananie (Sansa) – I’m picking this just for the sheer I-can’t-believe-you-made-this-work-and-I-applaud-you factor

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Brienne and another character What Is True, But Not Ideal by Vera (Tyrion)

[goose-books]

soft asks!! bitty or aurum? or both 👀👀

TYSM AVI!! i did bitty here, so here’s an aurum for you! i apologize for taking eighty years to get to this but i hope i’ve made up for it by once again proving i cannot be concise about TMR ever. ever. daily TMR ted talk

(aurum’s home WIP) (the soft asks)

what they smell like

like perfume, honestly. he’s not JUST the boy king of the raven kingdom, he’s also a professional Pretty Boy TM; it’s part of the job.

what their favorite smells in the world are

...i mean. perfume. the kid likes his luxury. he’s also partial to vanilla (it’s calming. fuck a magical anti-stress potion; just give him some lavender to sniff while he takes deep breaths. this is how trauma is fixed right)

on a less fun note! he has complicated feelings about the smell of iron. like, it’s not a GOOD smell (and as the plot marches on, iron tends to make aurum increasingly itchy and queasy dfdsfsbfsdbfbsdfbds. “magic isn’t real” he says. “the fae are fake” he says), but it reminds him of his mother, who wore obscene amounts of iron jewelry. and since she’s been gone for five years, tangible reminders of her are... few and far between these days.

what pajamas they wear

again, i’ll admit that i know very little about Generic Medieval Fantasy Pajamas, but they’re definitely silk. not that it really matters, because aurum doesn’t really... sleep? either he’s sneaking out at night for various reasons, or he’s just... having insomnia. asmr you enter the raven king’s chambers at night to murder him or something and he’s sitting on the floor in a silk nightgown muttering to himself as he reads about taxes by the light of a precariously uncovered candle and also he’s sixteen

my favorite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them

i don’t think i’ve talked about this before, but aurum does have a boyfriend! at least in the first draft of TMR. said boyfriend’s name is rye and he’s moon’s cousin! he works in the castle stables. they got together as teenagers and were never SUPER serious, but their relationship is... a little tangled these days as aurum is now officially The Most Powerful Person In The Land and rye... works in the castle stables. oh well.

i feel a little bad for having never talked about Aurum Canon Boyfriend before so in place of a headcanon have their first on-page interaction:

Aurum looked to Rye, who bowed exaggeratedly. “Your Highness,” he enunciated.

“It’s Majesty now. And bowing doesn’t become you. You’re far too lovely.”

Rye curtsied exaggeratedly. “Your Highness.”

Despite himself, Aurum smiled. Even in drab servants’ garb, Rye was handsome. Like Moon, he was pale, sharp-faced, and lanky, but his brown eyes held a glimmering softness that hers didn’t. His long fingers were calloused, but Aurum had been witness to how delicately they could work the knots from a horse’s mane, or thread a needle, or caress a collarbone.

“You know it’s ridiculous for you to flirt with me,” Rye pointed out as he rose. “Being His Majesty and all.”

“If you propose, I’ll abdicate.”

my favorite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them

moon moon moon! aurum n moon. just a traumatized teenage king with untapped magical powers and the teenage anarchist who can’t stop causing trouble in his kingdom but has also been friends with him for like five years. a perfect duo with no interpersonal problems. god they are so messy and i love them

my fav thing about them is actually established in canon and that’s the fact that moon will just... show up in aurum’s room. like. yes he has guards. no that doesn’t stop her. she’ll climb up to his balcony or climb to the roof and then down through his window. there’s an early scene where she comes in to sit on his floor while he’s literally taking a bath and she just averts her eyes and starts talking to him like he’s not a) naked and b) trying to wash river water out of his hair for god’s sake

a song that reminds me of them

second son by call security!

late at night when everyone has gone to sleep, i walk by moonlight up and down my street

not aurum escaping the raven castle at night to investigate mysteries and be melancholy...

and so the mask is coming off that I have worn of someone else, cause i was never born to live another life, i want to live my own

and like... he’s LITERALLY a second son and the fact that he spent fifteen years as the royal spare before suddenly becoming king is HUGE and influences pretty much his entire arc!!

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal

i KNOW i keep assigning my ocs catkin i KNOW but like. aurum’s original character concept from when i was twelve years old was a catboy so what can i really say. plus he’s 1) crafty 2) liable to pretend like he doesn’t want your attention but keep giving it to him please and 3) a little too curious for his own good. you know what they say.

what position they sleep in

whatever position his body passes out in when he’s been awake for three days 😔

their favorite drink

hot cider!! oh to be a littler aurum ravenfang sitting next to a massive fireplace with a mug of hot cider and a very alive twin

a gift i would give them if i could

the man has everything money can buy in TMR-verse so i’d have to show him non TMR-verse things. like mario kart. and therapy. also the bi flag so he could incorporate it into his royal standard somehow

[kachinnate]

these are a few of my faaavorite fics ✨

not that anyone asked for my opinion BUT these are a couple of my… fav deh fics of all time!* they’re all linked to ao3 and i think i have all the authors tagged that i know of that has a tumblr so

*i made this list especially for fics that aren’t, like.. as well known as some of the Popular Fandom Fics, partially bc everyone’s already read them and knows how awesome they are and partially bc otherwise this list would be ten pages long hehe,,, also sorry if you’re seeing this twice, i had to repost bc the links were all broken ?? 

throwing under a readmore bc this is a chunky boy!!!!! keep in mind that these aren’t in any particular order:

in the in-between - chchchchcherrybomb, vinegar-and-glitter (x) [tree bros] – Connor’s turning 27. Evan’s sitting the bar exam. Over and over again. – itsa timeloop au!! i’m not sure if this is a common au or not, but i’ve never read anything else like this before, and ohhhh my god. each chapter is a switch-off from connor’s pov to evan’s pov, and i assume the authors each wrote for one character (?), but oh my god their writing works so well together?? they both have distinct styles and ways of writing but it flows together perfectly,, without spoiling anything, ev and connor’s dynamic in this universe is a lot different to anything else i’ve personally read before, partially because they’re quite a bit older here than in canon (which, while is obviously portrayed, they still are easily recognizable as the characters they are in the musical), and partially because it strays away from the common ‘they’re both misfits/not doing great, but connor is worse for wear and evan has to save him’, which i think is rlly nice.. (also, like, never have i ever considered that evan would want to be a lawyer, but after reading this fic not only am i sold on it but i’m convinced 100% that him being a lawyer could genuinely be fuckin canon) (also also, the evan characterization in this? hands down my favorite out of any fic i’ve ever read tbh) the world building is really incredible too - like, i don’t even want to consider this one a fuckin fic bro because it’s like highkey just this incredible novel?? it also has a completed sequel called it’s always been you (x) that i haven’t finished that takes place after the events of this fic, and so far?? also fucking incredible 15/10 i definitely recommend

lapse - cecropia / @wildflowermonet (x) [tree bros] – “For what it’s worth,” Connor says casually, “I don’t think you should die tonight.” – welcome to another installment of ‘kayla read this and immediately couldn’t think about anything else for a solid consecutive 12 hours’!! evan and connor have really wonderful characterizations in this one too - i’m pretty sure i’ve elaborated on it before but literally my favorite thing is when people actually write evan as more than an anxious kid, and omg this author did that perfectly asfjkdsg - you can see the subtle Growth as he gets more comfortable with connor and jared (and all the other deh characters too bc this fic has a lovely fOUND FAMILY FINISH AT THE END EEE) and it’s just. aaaah. *heart eyes emoji*. it’s set in their senior year, and they form an unsteady friendship and learn to lean on each other and figure out the whole ‘having friends’ thing, midway through evan realizes he’s a-pinin’, it’s just. Great. this fic is relatively new too i think so u def def def should go give it a read and give the author some love!!!!!!!!!!!

to have a friend - demistories / @transanabeth (x) [tree bros] – Pretend to be friends with Connor Murphy, who yells at people and skips class to smoke and pushes people and threw a printer in the second grade, for twenty dollars a week.

Evan closes his hand around the bill and then stuffs it into his pocket.

“I-I’ll do it.” – ok this is one of, if not, the first fic i’ve ever read coming into the fandom, so it of course has a rlly special place in my heart!! it’s a classic ‘fake dating au’, also with switching povs between chapters. connor offers evan 20$ a week to be his fake friend, almost follows through with the events of the musical but doesn’t, finds out about evan’s own attempt, and they just sorta… cope together. it’s a lot of second guessing bc neither of them knows if the other considers the other a friend or not, and ofc when the fake dating part comes in that gets amplified by 10 asdfghj. honestly i think it’s a cooler approach to the fake dating au troupe (the chapter titles are increments of 20$, which honestly is equally cruel as is creative) and is so!! heartwrenching!!! it’s been a while since i’ve read it but i’m pretty sure that i bawled at the twist so >’D

the only thing is that this fic isn’t finished and there isn’t an intention for it to be finished from what i know of(?) - the author included a brief synopsis of the ending to tie loose ends and give a sort of closure to the fic, but that absolutely doesn’t take away from how freaking incredibly written it is and doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a read anyway !! i kept up with it while it was a WIP and honestly every time i got the email notification that it updated i dropped everything to fuckin read that shit 😤😤 when i think of deh fics, this is honestly just one of the first that comes to mind for me just bc it was one of the first ones i’ve read, and it just… was so good that i still think about it months after i read the last chapter safkjasf

no comfort in the truth - @nothingunrealistic (x) [kleinsen] – Like everyone in the world, Evan has the last words his soulmate will ever say to him on his skin.

Evan hears a lot of last words during his senior year. – okay if this were an accurate list i’d literally have every drabble soph has ever written down on here but that is entirely beside the point

literally knowing beforehand that this is a kleinsen fic and then reading the summary, u kno this shit is going to be painful ,, honestly this style is one of my fave fic formats (especially when it comes to writing in the canon deh universe) because like ,, it’s simplistic but works really well as a story-telling method?? not everything has to be perfectly strung together and every day doesn’t have to be written out for it to still convey the same like.. impact as a super long fic would, and honestly writing it in like flashes or snippets makes the build up that much more anticipating? bc again when u write within the events of the musical it’s not like u don’t know what’s going to happen,, u can focus less on worldbuilding bc hey, it’s already done for u, and instead write more indepthly about the topic of the soulmate au!! but uhhh REGARDLESS soph is literally the kleinsen matriarch in my eyes, they always write evan and jared w/ Perfect characterization and dynamics and just Ah! this one is angsty, but it has a v nice and hopeful ending, and i *clutches heart* love,,,

nowhere else i’d rather be:  nosecoffee / @nose-coffee​​ (x) [tree bros] – A fake dating au where they’re next door neighbours, Evan bakes, and Connor’s already a little in love with Evan anyway – this one is a series - the first fic kinda Establishes stuff and the second one gets into the whole fake dating thing!! they live in apartments next to each other, evan bakes for connor, they go campin with connor’s family, it’s just….. rlly sweet and i love it

also, it contains this hilarious bit that i haven’t been able to forget about despite finding this fic months ago:

do me a favour - can your heart rate rise a little? - nosecoffee / @nose-coffee​ (x) [treebros]

an au where the hansen family owns an arcade….. honestly what more can i say?? it’s slowburn and treebros and i p much love everything that nosecoffee has written ever so this is no exception obviously

jared and connor vs. the mortifying ordeal of being known - caswell @techconsigliere , puglebug @puglebug (x) [kleinphy] – Jared is admitted to group therapy following the divorce of his mother from his asshole father. What he doesn’t anticipate is that Connor would be there, too. – THE KLEINPHY CONTENT WE ALL DESERVE BEING PROVIDED TO US BY CJ AND EZRA!!! it’s a one-shot with just enough slowburn to keep you 👀 , jared is working through some stuff and after some fumbling connor is w/ him to help him thru it, the end of this fic has my heart aching the entire way through every time i read it and it’s just… *chefs kiss* (i even drew some fanart for it if you’re ever so inclined)

forever going with the flow, but you’re friction - lizzy_stardust_18 @delightfullyanachronistic​ (x) [band trees] – Zoe knew that of all of the things that her mother had expected from the evening, Evan Hansen showing up at her door with his arms full of her drunken daughter was not one of them. – big bet i wasn’t getting through this list without including fiona’s fics, are u crazy??? BUT this one is set a year (?) after the events of canon, zoe’s at a party and evan finds her, and they talk about stuff n’ things - there’s also a sweet moment in there between zoe and cynthia (in which cynthia is Rightfully Skeptical of evan) which is v wholesome and Refreshing because honestly the murphy parents never get written in a good light and fiona does it ~ perfectly ~. lotsa metaphors. evan and zoe are big dorks. evan is a taylor swift stan. what isn’t there to love

i can’t call you a stranger, but i can’t call you up - lizzy_stardust_18 - @delightfullyanachronistic (x) [kleinsen] – Jared fiddled his thumbs. He wished more than anything that he could move to a different seat, but causing a scene at Heidi Hansen’s wedding reception wasn’t exactly high on his to-do list. Besides, he was an adult. He had a job. He ate ramen only three times a week. He could handle a simple social interaction like a real human being. He was lucky that no one else had found their seats at his table yet. It gave him time to gather his wits about him. He drummed his fingers on the table nervously. – jared and evan are forced to talk after the events of canon via sitting next to each other at heidi’s wedding. they argue a bunch bc jared is still rightfully hurt, they discuss TCP and jared’s treatment of evan over the past couple years, they fight it out and then we learn some jared backstory and then there are tears and it ends on a fluffy + hopeful note!! good shit !!!!

[smartcookie727]

Fanfic Writer Meme

Tagged by: @xambedo​​  💕💕💕

Tagging: @whereisthefood123​, @theolddarkmachine​, @snowmadien​

Ao3 name: smartcookie727 (also on FFnet...I’m not terribly imaginative once I land on something)

Fandoms: Fairy Tail, Voltron Legendary Defender, Boku no Hero Academia, Eden’s Zero, MXTX Novels (TGCF, MDZS, SVSSS), and now Haikyuu!! as of my binge last weekend

Number of fics: About 30 distinct ones (and at least as many in my drafts I gotta have like 15k at minimum in drafts rn as I explore multi ideas) all on tumblr, AO3, and FFnet

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Probably “Precious Time” (my one and only Jerza fic so far). I’m pretty sure that one was in the oven for at least like 3-5 months. I wrote it for my twinsie Carly and wanted everything to be like absolutely on point cause she wanted some Jerza and I wanted to write them well. That or “Malibu Kisses” (the last fic I published wow almost a year ago) I swear I rewrote that like 3x before I landed on the version I kept over a period of maybe 5-6 months. It’s ridiculously detailed and literally the longest oneshot I’ve ever written at a whopping wet and wild 7k adventure of feels. 

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Probably “Tears” (my first Bixanna fic) I think I wrote that in like an hour after watching my friend play a horror game and was the one time I ever took prompts cause I was too afraid to go to sleep even after at least 2 Disney movies. It’s soft and fluffy and my dear friend Kelly wanted some Bixanna and I just ran wild with it.

3. Longest fic: Oneshot: “Malibu Kisses” at 7k, Series: “Forever Mine” at 15-20k depending on if I ever uploaded like one extra fic for it.

4. Shortest fic: “Stay”, “To All the Stars in Her Eyes” and “Desperate Words” are the only ones I have under 1k lmaoooo

5. Most hits: “Forever Mine” series at 7.5k views on FFnet. It was literally my “every day of lovefest” fic

6. Most kudos: “Hiccups” on AO3 (my one and only Nalu fic so far where I did a modern AU and somehow predicted events from the last chapter of the series) with 110 kudos or “Stamina” on FFnet (which was my loooong smexy gajevy fic) with 97 favs. It’s interesting how the numbers for different ships differ on both sites.

7. Most comment threads: “Burn” on AO3. The Sheith fandom is definitely the most vocal and persistent about writing comments or reviews about my fics on either of those websites. And that one was a crazy hot indulgent mess. 

8. Fave fic you wrote: I don’t think I have a favorite? All the ideas I love a lot right now are from multis that are still cooking. But know if the fic gets published, it means I really enjoyed it. Otherwise it would just happily sit in my drafts as a few paragraphs and a silly title!

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I still wanna go back to “Starfarers” and give my Eden’s Zero flavored Gajevy the rest of their story. There’s at least half a prequel in....you guessed it! my drafts.

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

With a grunt, he regained his footing and stumbled out the door and down the hall, straight to the nearest restroom. Locking it behind him, Shiro slid down to the ground and buried his head in the crook of his elbows. 

Fantastic crashes were starting to become something of a brand for him, and it needed to stop. That or he needed to switch his studies to film and put this universal constant to good use. Leaning his head back, he rested against the door. Probably not the smartest thing to do; he’d taken microbiology on a dare his junior year and could list a few too many species of microorganisms that were likely there. Well, it wasn’t the first less than intelligent decision he’d made that day--he’d probably fucked up whatever small chance he’d had with lane three, bolting like that--so what did he care about a few rogue micrococci. 

Carefully, Shiro counted his breathing until his pulse slowed. At least he could still do something properly. What had he been thinking? Jumping into a pool, giving a stranger CPR, headbutting him then ghosting. Shiro was pretty sure he didn’t have a single working brain cell left. That had to be it. Maybe he could get the doctors to change his meds; this had to be attributed to some sort of chemical crossfire. 

You’ve been on these meds just fine for months, idiot. You know chemicals. There’s a framed paper above your desk that says you do. Whatever decrease in brain cell functionality you have has more to do with the chemicals inspired by deep purple eyes and soft lips rather than your pills. 

Shiro groaned. They had been so soft. Softer than he’d even imagined. Shiro had wanted to kiss them until he forgot what it felt like to breathe. However, he was a whole 6’3” of strange man with a robotic arm, and breathlessness like that required both parties’ consent. Still. He’d remember the feeling of it for a long time. Heat started to climb into his cheeks again. Shiro slapped it away. Walking over to the sink, he splashed water on his face. He needed to cool down. No one needed to know how inspiring the encounter had been. 

[griffinnblake]

Do you read much fic and are you reading any at the min?

Oh boy. I’m so glad you asked, anon.

Yes, I read a ton of fic (to be honest, it’s the only thing tying me to this show right now. So far, nothing in season 6 interests me). I only read Bellarke, but I have a lot of favs.

Here’s what I’m currently reading: 

i'll always wear the crown that you gave me by @captaindaddykru

Clarke is reaped during the 73th Games, with Bellamy as her mentor. Unknowingly, she starts something she doesn't know how to finish. Both in the arena, and at home with him. / Bellarke The Hunger Games Au.

If you love The Hunger Games, you will love this. The series is divided into three parts, one for each book, and while it is lengthy, it’s so worth it. I’ve been sitting on these for weeks and finally started reading them over Thanksgiving Break.  I’m on the Mockingjay part and I just can’t get enough.

Other fanfics I’ve enjoyed (under the cut because it’s super long):

WIPs:

The Price of Peace by @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky

S6. Probably my favorite WIP at the moment. Lindsey takes everything that was wrong in s5 and fixes it. Also ANGST.

Give Me Your Fate by @asroarke

Modern Political AU. Senator Bellamy. Lawyer Clarke. Arranged marriage. Oh crap this is supposed to be fake but I’m actually falling for you goodness.

Mighty Fine Shindig by @talistheintrovert

S6. Clarke in a ballgown. Jealous Bellamy. Need I say more?

Complete:

bite your friend like chocolate by @selflessbellamy

High school BFF Bellarke. This one is so cute (and also somewhat smutty if you’re into that).

who cares if we’re trashed by @probably-voldemort

S3 divergent. Clarke proposes to Bellamy on a dare. Okay I just read this one, and it was hella cute.

Oh Darling, Here’s Hoping by @grumpybell

Werewolf Bellamy. BABY werewolf Bellamy. Red Riding Hood Clarke. Read it.

I want to do to you what spring does to cherry trees by @enoughtotemptme

S1 canon-divergent. Grounder Bellamy. Clarke and the 100 come down and integrate into their society.

Let the Games Begin by @keiraknighted

Capture the flag with FEELINGS.

(only mostly) false memories by angel_deux

Bell has temporary amnesia and is convinced that he asked Clarke out. Unfortunately for Clarke, it didn’t happen.

Spent a Dollar on This Ring by @prosciuttoe

FwB, police partners, and an unplanned pregnancy all wrapped into one.

Save Water, Shower Together by @katchyalater

Another FwB leads to an unplanned pregnancy fic. Hey, I like what I like.

You Go Your Way, I’ll Go Your Way Too by @andsowemeetagain

Slight TATBILB AU. The college version. And I love the author’s note on this. You’ll see when you click on it ;)

When We Die by percybcths

JK it was all a simulation AU. Featuring all your favorite dead characters who didn’t actually die.

Set The Dark On Fire by @talistheintrovert

Clarke isn’t coping well on the Eligius IV and decides to take herself out of the equation. Suicide Attempt TW. PAIN and ANGST but WORTH IT.

astra inclinant by @hermesmultivitamins

S6 spec. Bellamy and Clarke finally figure out what everyone else already knew.

Solid Ground by @thegriffin-blakefamily

Modern fake dating to prove to Echo that Bellamy has moved on.

To Those Who Know How to Listen by @enoughtotemptme

Atlas has always been Bellamy’s dog but now he’s acting weird. Dogs and babies: my jams.

And Now You’re Home by @asroarke

Post s4 canon-divergent. Grounder Bellamy. Accidental pregnancy. You know the drill by now.

heart made of glass by @octannibal-blake

SYTYCD AU. Also angsty exes. Two of my favorite things.

now i’ve got you in my space by @bestivals

Clarke comes back from studying abroad and everything has changed. Okay this fic. THIS FUCKING FIC. Almost killed me. The angst was almost too much. And it has the dreaded NOTP (BE) in the first half because Bellamy’s an idiot. But stick with it. I promise it’s worth it.

fire up hearts that have grown cold by angel_deux

Raven starts intercepting Clarke’s messages on the ring but doesn’t tell anyone. Technically the first part doesn’t have much if any Bellarke in it, but it’s so good. Also Echo is actually tolerable in this series, and that’s saying a lot for me.

Titus Was Born by Flying_dandelions

Daemon AU. Starts in mid-s2. Some angst but good stuff.

There’s a Phrase That Fits by @bestivals

Five weddings, two exes, and one chance to get it right. Angsty exes are also my jam.

the inconvenience of you by @kay-emm-gee

Historical Victoria AU!

Shutout by harmonichearts

High school AU. Established relationship. Soccer player Clarke is sent to the emergency room by Bellamy’s jealous ex-girlfriend. Three guesses as to who the ex-gf is. Also read everything by this author. This is the first fic I ever read by them, but I love everything they’ve written. There’s some nice post-s4 divergent stuff.

A Longer Long Distance by LienidQueen

Modern AU. Bell is an astronaut and is sent to the space station for months. As the author says, there’s long distance, and then there’s long distance.

oceans between us by ilovenutella99

Post-s4 soulmate AU. Bellamy figures out that Clarke’s alive thanks to a certain soulmark.

only fools rush in by @eleanor-sheleanor

Bellamy’s drunk and spends the entire Uber ride home telling Roan about his wife. Super cute.

the waltz goes on by @vexthejester

Olympic Ice Dancing AU. Bellarke as VirtueMoir basically. Fluff and angst galore.

Let’s Give Them Somethin’ To Talk About by @scifibi

Bellamy’s a new teacher, and all of his co-workers think he’s having an affair with the art teacher. 

AND because I have no shame:

Told You by moi

Teacher AU. Basically it’s my first year of teaching in fic form.

maybe this time is different by moi

S5 canon-divergent. Bellamy still can’t quite believe that Clarke’s alive.

Also, if you’re still here, you can check out my bookmarks too. The first couple pages are basically this list, but there are some really good ones after that (I had to cut this list off somewhere). Happy reading!

[jamestkirkish]

Fanfiction Stats

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @ariaadagio

Author Name: amandaithink on AO3, schntgaispocked on FFN (not that I’ve been on there in forever so let me quick update that profile because I’m not 25 anymore...o.o)

Fandoms You Write For:

Active - Lucifer

Not so active - Star Trek, MCU, Doctor Who, Supernatural

Where You Post:

Current - AO3

Former-ish (I’m not planning yet on moving the fics because it seems like a lot of effort but I might) - FFN, Livejournal (I can’t remember my account info)

VERY FORMER - Message boards back when I was in middle school and high school. 

Most Popular One-Shot:  By Kudos/Favs AND Comment Threads/Reviews - Hardly the Best Choice (Lucifer) [I count this as a one shot because I wrote it as on and posted it all at once. The ‘chapters’ were just a formatting choice]. 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: By Kudos/Favs - Take This To Your Grave (The Avengers) God I miss writing this story. I broken record about losing all of my fic notes, I feel like. Like I complain about it too much. I think about it every day, though, and rarely voice the thoughts. But it bothers me. At some point I’m going to have to give up ever finding them and sit down and reread everything I’ve written and reoutline and plot all of them.

By Comment Threads/Reviews: Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen (Doctor Who) That is super flattering, actually. This is the most self indulgent thing I’ve ever done and it’s super hard to write. I didn’t lose the notes for this. I’m actually still working on it. I haven’t posted in forever because it is SUPER HARD TO WRITE. If you’re in the DW fandom you probably are well aware of how popular season rewrites are, and chances are if you read any OC fics we’ve read the same ones because people don’t jump into OC rewrites lightly and if they do, it’s done in a certain way. I decided to go a whole different and difficult way for this fic.  Not going to lie I have so many random Holly Ashby docs on my computer because I write little random stories set further ahead than what I’ve got written in the actual fic just so that I can KEEP FIGURING OUT MY OC. And because I like what I’m doing even if I’m stuck for the main story. It’s so much fun.

Favorite Story You Wrote:  Of Broken Worlds and Changing Times (Star Trek) I found most of my notes for this, but not the main notes. If I have to give up ever finding my notes, I think this one will be able to stay most true to my original intentions, but I’m still missing so much. Writing this story (as much as I have of it) helped me learn so much. I had never done action shots before. I had never done that much research before (I read a lot of zombie and survival lit, and I’ll probably have to reread a lot of that stuff before I can get back into it). 

I also really loved writing Did We All Fall Down (Supernatural).  It takes place around Season 8 of Supernatural and is a spin off full of OCs. I did it for NaNoWriMo awhile back (I won for wordcount but didn’t finish the story - lost notes, man [playing it cool like it doesn’t break my heart, look at me go]). It’s only on tumblr, because I felt like there wasn’t really a desire for that kind of thing on the fic sites. It was so much fun, though. Which was the point. As always.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:  All of them. Every single one. I’m still nervous about their existence sometimes. Especially the really old ones, because writing is something I continue to get better at the more I do it, and when I look back at some of them I’m just like ‘oh no why’. I so badly want to do rewrites for my incomplete fics when I eventually complete them. Because they could be improved. Really. And I may do that if I move my FFN ones to AO3 once I get going on them again. Like that would be part of my ‘hey guys, if you could read over here post’. Like: “I’m moving this story to AO3 and also I’ve rewritten what is on here because I wrote that X years ago and honestly I can convey ideas better now I’ve been practicing, trust me”. Something like that. Maybe. Who knows. I also feel like I’m supposed to let them be. You know, so that I can watch myself improve. Would be very disjointed for the reader, though ... who knows. 

How Do You Choose Your Titles:  Depends.

For Lucifer fics, I’ve been grabbing lines I like from the fic and using it as the title because that’s how the episode titles work and I think it’s fun. HOWEVER I didn’t do that for Devil Undone because I wrote that in an hour with Hallucinogenics on repeat and then slapped a title on it super quick because I didn’t care what the title was. I want to change it, but I’m worried about breaking the matrix. ALSO I did do that for Before There Was Light and I wish I could change that one too because I feel like Once Before Time is a better title and the current title is too similar to another fic (and that wasn’t intentional, but could easily have been subconscious I have no idea, because my brain is an ADHD trainwreck). Still worried about breaking the matrix.

A lot of my fics are named after album titles, song titles, lyrics, etc. Take This To Your Grave is very directly Fall Out Boy. If you listen to the corresponding chapter’s song as you read it you will see what I was doing there. Also you will experience how i wrote it (writing with one song on repeat is something I actually do kind of often bahaha). 

Sometimes I just think something sounds cool (ex. Of Broken Worlds and Changing Times). 

Do You Outline: Most of the time, yes. Heavy outlines, too.

For one shots? Not at all.

For Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, not at all, but now I technically have an outline if only because I wrote so many personal ficlets and one shots with the characters that I know what has happened in the future.

For Mischief Managed (Avengers), not at all. As part of an experiment. I actually think I have a few chapters of that handwritten that haven’t been posted yet. I like actually handwriting things more than typing, I’m more likely to finish that way but it also takes forever. 

How many of your stories are…

Complete: 5 (on those sites, as we’re not looking at any of my childhood work)

In-Progress: 7

Coming Soon: Based on my WIP folder? 13. Including NKTTIS extras? 17. What I can actually feel decent about committing to? 2 things. Because my WIP folder is insane and ridiculous and the epitome of ‘writing fanfiction because it’s fun’. 

EDIT: I remembered google docs. There’s like ... 4 partial things on there ...

It’s safe to assume at all times that even if you’re not seeing anything posted by me, I am writing something. Perhaps I should post random snippets on my writing tumblr. 

Do You Accept Prompts: Yes (though if you send them to this blog I will probably still post them on writingithink because that’s what that blog exists for, as my writing tumblr). 

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: The Shift (Lucifer) - that’s a working title. It’s so much fun so far, the only problem is it will probably take me forever to write and by the time it’s ready the @luciferbingo prompts will have expired bahahaha. I’m not going to start posting this one until it’s finished, though. Because having all of those incomplete stories out there frustrates me. I wasn’t planning on any of them taking this long. 

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions As Well: My god, who writes fics or has written fics. Erm ... I TAG @oh-mylordy, @swishandflickwit, @lucks-eterna, @thesupercousin and @aziraphalesrarebooks and anyone I have forgotten in this current moment of panic.

[queen-of-ice101]

Writer Taggy Thing~

Was tagged by the lovely @chalky-charlie and I actually adore taggy things (when my notifications ACTUALLY TELL ME I GET THEM AAAAAAaaaaaahh) so here we go^^

1. Pen or Pencil - When I’m writing on paper I usually go for pen tbh, I love how it feels. Though I hate mistakes with a passion and always mentally berate myself for using pen after they happen XD 

2. Have you ever drawn your OC’s? - Yess, I love to draw them! I haven’t drawn very many of them which I should get back to working on to fill out more of them. I think my fav to date though is my ice fey though, because ice and snow. That place might be soo usurped by Lilith when I finally finish her sketch.

3. Does your writing ever make you cry? - Not exactly, I think the only time I’ve cried over writing was when I wrote a piece that was based off an abuse situation years ago, less from the writing and more emotions that memories brought to the forefront. Tho I still get emotional as all heck over my writing, especially when I’m in the middle of intense moments. My mom used to tell me that she could tell the theme of my writing by watching my facial expressions while I was working XD

4: If your Muse was a person, what would they look like? - Dressed in all black, devil horns, and a giant pair of wings to FLY AWAY WITH ALL MY INSPIRATION ;-;

5: Which of your pieces would you choose to be remembered for? - One I haven’t actually published yet, it’s a series I hope to one day publish through a company to sell^^  For my online works it would have to be my mythology series currently, which is still starting out.

6: How much have you written or worked on your WIP so far today? - I’ve spent a couple of hours working on the outline plans for the second phase of my Heirs of Darkness fic. I’ll be writing on the next chapter for a bit before checking out for the night.

7: Have you ever based a piece (or a portion of a piece) on a dream? - Yep!! Usually only from the dreams when you’re drifting between wake and sleep, I haven’t written for a dream I’ve remembered from deeper sleep.

8: Do you prefer silence, a little noise (music, ambient noise, fan etc) or a lot of noise when you’re writing? - Music all the way!! I have a bunch of specific playlists for individual characters and specific stories on my Spotify that I use for writing and planning^^

9: Do you have any routines before you sit down to write? - I’ll usually bring up any outlines for long works, reread what I’ve written thusfar if it’s a continuation and start a playlist/find a specific song for a scene, then I start writing.

10: Have you ever participated in NaNoWrimo or a Camp? - No not yet, my November has always been too chaotic but I want to this year!

TAAAAAAGS: @kilios-main @monstrouswrites @ghedahrianvampress @sideways-seaweed @mu11berry @pastel-toast @wordsablaze @notesofarichlycolorednight

[its-love-u-asshole]

Franchises, Feuds, and Too Much Tension [fic]

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei/Kuroo Tetsurou 

Summary: Sometimes, Tsukishima wonders if his relationship is too good to be true. Kuroo is everything he's ever wanted and more, pardon his cheesiness, and there's never a doubt in his mind that he loves him. Of course, he should've expected a fight like this at some point or another, though he can't say he'd been prepared.The only thing Tsukishima knows for sure is that one way or another, this is all Terushima's fault. 

Rating: E

Tags: fluff, fluff and smut, established relationship, kurotsuki argue about dumb things like horror movies and then bang p much 

Note: Yooo I managed to actually get something done for @heartykurotsukiweek​! I've had this wip sitting in my docs for a while now and then the prompt list came out and day 2 gave me the perfect excuse to finish it ;) and it's smut too which is odd for me these days pft it's torture to write but hey, kurotsuki deserves to get laid always. Big thanks to @emeraldwaves​ for reading this over! 

AO3

Tsukishima was a good, reasonable person.

For the most part.

Therefore, it was important to note how much he did not and would not ever deserve this level of disrespect, from someone he loved no less.

Tsukishima took exactly ten steps into their apartment, not bothering to look at Kuroo until their privacy had been secured. He stopped at the couch, glaring at the few DVDs which were strewn about the rumpled cushions. All good picks, quality thriller movies which he and Kuroo had decided to rewatch the previous night.

He had been a young, naive fool then. Completely unaware of the secrets boiling beneath the surface.

It was like those movies were laughing at him now. Bitches.

How could he have missed it? It was the most obvious horror/gore franchise and yet it had never come up...

Here he was, thinking he and Kuroo were movie buffs when they had never even had the real nitty gritty conversations.

They were frauds.

The front door shut, and the muffled chatter of their neighbors in the hallway was cut off in a split second. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo standing there at the door, staring at his back, but he felt too stubborn to turn around and make the first move.

Man, things could get ugly here. Tsukishima hadn't fully realized it until just now. The silence around them was suffocating, thick with the strain of their thoughts.

Eventually, one of them would have to begin this bloodbath, and once more, Tsukishima was left to marvel at how stupid they both were. Why can't we have normal fights...

They'd never know, but oh how Tsukishima wished they'd never crossed the line into such dangerous territory.

How had this happened again?

It had been a normal night, and honestly, maybe that should've been the first thing to tip Tsukishima off. Things had been too peaceful, too calm, and without a trace of tension in the air when those cursed words had left his mouth, condemning him to a sleepless night.

Perhaps the worst part was the subject matter, but he stood by his opinion, and overall he blamed Terushima for the entire incident.

Some things to take into account before he continued:

1) Tsukishima was right. No matter what anyone said, he'd rather get smashed by a glass pane (ha), than give in to his boyfriend.

2) Final Destination was a terrible series. It had some arguable gems, and it was enjoyable to watch some of the grisly deaths and laugh at the dumbass characters. He'd never try and deny that if he saw it on the T.V. guide, he would click in an instant. Still, most of the films were awful, with less than acceptable effects. Moving on...

3) Kuroo Tetsurou was supposed to be the love of his life, but goddamn if Tsukishima wasn't considering poisoning his water.

4) Addendum. Kuroo Tetsurou was fucking wrong, and Tsukishima hoped he was ready to face the wrath that had been building in his debate club brain for the past hour and thirteen minutes.

Now that the basics are cleared, back to what happened....

They had been at Terushima's house late in the evening, drinking and yelling at each other after a few failed games of Monopoly. Everyone refused to read the instructions no matter how lost they were, but that was irrelevant at this moment in time.

Eventually, they all calmed down as the sun dipped below the horizon and Terushima supplied them with more beer. He and Kuroo had hardly drank, more content with watching their friends make fools of themselves for future blackmailing purposes.

The conversations ranged from embarrassing high school memories, to the famous mint chocolate ice cream debate, most of which Tsukishima gladly tuned out in favor of focusing on Kuroo's hands. Tsukishima had managed to practically seat himself in his boyfriend's lap without calling too much attention to them, the perfect vantage point. Especially when Kuroo's nimble fingers began to massage his exposed hip bones, kneading the soft skin and curves while Tsukishima greedily moved closer.

The touch was familiar, welcome, with something burning and desirous just below the surface. But given their public situation, the fire dwindled, and Tsukishima let himself relax as the ministrations continued. There was no rush, no urgency. They had all the time in the world that Friday night, and they basked in the jovial atmosphere.

That is, until the subject of the newest horror movie came about.

It was silly probably, how fast he and Kuroo's heads shot up, like dogs hearing their kibble pour into bowls, but they couldn't help it. They loved anything to do with horror and suspense; haunted houses, slasher films, whatever.

(Minus the time they'd gotten so scared from one particular movie they couldn't sleep, but no one had to know about that. They'd both agreed long ago on taking that one to the grave.)

But otherwise, it was their calling. They already had their tickets pre-bought for the movie everyone was currently discussing, and they jumped in, scattering their own predictions and opinions without care.

Naturally, one thing led to another, and the conversation turned into a full-blown comparison of different horror franchises, either in support or contempt of the new upcoming film. Whatever. Kuroo and Tsukishima had this shit. They’d made their predictions already, knew the director, had bets placed. So truthfully, this was more of a trip down memory lane of all the shitty and spectacular films they’d watched ever since they’d become brave enough to sneak into R rated movies.

Not to mention all the films they’d seen together, an excuse to hold each other close and makeout during all the boring scenes with dull characters. It made Tsukishima somewhat excited for either outcome. If the movie was good, then he’d enjoy himself and would also have a new movie to rewatch on chilly nights. If it sucked, then he could make Kuroo fall apart, movie forgotten. Wins all around.

So yeah, bringing up both the duds and hits of the horror world made him satisfied all around.

But then, Terushima went and did it, that bastard. He said the measly string of words which would later cause Tsukishima's mind-numbing headache.

"I don't know, it looks like a Final Destination rip-off to me."

And oh, what an insult.

Both he and Kuroo recoiled just a bit, not knowing where to start. What exactly did he mean anyways? They were two completely different plots, new actors, there was no supernatural element at all…

“I mean it looks too over the top,” Terushima continued, smirking slightly at the glares he received from the couple.

“Funny coming from someone as dramatic as you,” Tsukishima shot back, and in true Terushima fashion, the drunkard sloshed his drink in Tsukishima’s direction, eager for a fearful flinch.

Tsukishima didn’t move. A chorus of childish ‘oos’ echoed around them. The stare down between them didn’t last long though, in part because of Terushima’s one too many beers and Tsukishima’s good mood. They both maintained the scowling eye contact for a few seconds before they burst out into a fit of laughter.

Kuroo’s hands tightened on him at the sound.

Horror fan reputation be damned, Tsukishima was ready to ditch the party in favor of seeing exactly what those hands had in mind for him.

But of course, the universe, and Terushima had other plans.

"Those movies were a trip though," Terushima went on as his laughter died, his words slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol he'd inhaled throughout the night. The hiccups made everyone around him giggle. "My far...my fav was the--the one with the cars? The race track! That was epic."

And as predicted, he and Kuroo exchanged amused glances, their thoughts completely in sync. And how could they not be?

‘Pft, the fourth FD is a joke.’

‘I know right? Worst film, best title.’

“Oh Yuuji, how the hell did you get to be so uncultured?” Kuroo sighed dramatically, shaking his head. Tsukishima had to give it to his boyfriend, there was real pity in those eyes. “That’s probably the worst film of them all.”

“Ah fuck off,” Futakuchi’s voice drifted from where he sat, face buried into the couch cushions. Damn, Tsukishima thought he’d died thirty minutes ago.

“Yeah, you’re the ones who’ve seen every damn movie,” someone on the staircase said, and from the tone, Tsukishima could tell it was probably one of the Atsumu twins. Oh, so now everyone had their two cents… “Probably more than once…”

“For research purposes,” Kuroo called back, his grin staying firmly in place. Tsukishima wanted to kiss him for it.

“Oh yeah, well what do you assholes think is the best one then?” Terushima said, swirling around his drink with an air of confidence he did not deserve. It was like he was some rich business investor with expensive wine in his glass and not a broke college student drinking cider out of a Naruto mug.

But Tsukishima didn’t need to point that out, his answer would speak for itself. And it was a no brainer for him. He didn't even have to think as he said, "Oh, the fifth for sure."

At the exact same fucking time, Kuroo went: "The second one."

And that’s when the night fell right down the shit hole.

What.

The observing crowd must’ve realized what an affront this was, what a rare occurrence it was to see them disagree on something so close to their hearts. Oh, the silence which followed could’ve been akin to a cemetery even, but with twice as much dread and foreboding.

Kuroo and Tsukishima looked at each other in an instant, eyes stupidly wide and any other shit-eating words dying on the tips of their tongues.

Tsukishima didn’t have anything to say, could barely process his feelings on the subject. Deep down, he knew this day probably should’ve been expected at some point, but wow, what a fucking inconvenience.

Tsukishima’s mouth opened once, then twice, before he eventually surrendered to the fact they were screwed.

Lastly, the only person who could seem to formulate a response in that moment happened to be Terushima, who simply wheezed in laughter, throwing back the rest of his drink before he spoke in sports bar level excitement. “Oh. Shit.”

Aaaand now they were here. A car ride of silence and two ice cream sundaes (both for Tsukishima) later.

Kuroo clicked the lock on the door, sealing them in for battle, and Tsukishima took one slow, deep breath.

Yeah. He was ready.

The stupidest part was probably how they met each other halfway in no more than five steps. At the time, it felt serious, but Tsukishima knew later he’d want to jump off a cliff.

Kuroo nodded to him, eyes brimming with something so ridiculously nerdy one would think they were in high school mock trial. Basically, it was a look that said, ‘Yeah that’s right. Go first. Bring it.’

‘I fucking will.’

Tsukishima raised his hands, the only thing keeping him from just hitting Kuroo with the nearest pillow. Or…any object really. “Tetsu.”

“Yes, my love?” Kuroo smiled sweetly, and yeah, Tsukishima was so ready. No amount of sappy endearments would change that.

“How the hell can you say the second Final Destination is the best? Did you watch the same movie I did? Surely you could’ve have, dear.”

Tsukishima saw the brief hesitation, the way Kuroo had to smother the immediate instinct to just tackle Tsukishima and kiss the daylights out of him for the petname, but man, Kuroo must’ve been as serious as Tsukishima right then. He powered through it. Damn.

“Oh I’m sorry for liking believable suspense,” Kuroo said, motioning to nothing in particular, as if the gestures somehow made his points more legitimate. “That movie had deaths better if not equal to the first.”

Pure blasphemy.

Tsukishima blinked, shaking his head as he tried to make sense of the words. “B-Believable...wha—Tetsu, a girl has a vision on a freeway.”

Why was the freeway aspect more startling than the vision part? Who knew.

“A believable vision, you can’t trust those fucking log trucks!”

That…was correct, but not the point.

Tsukishima clapped, actually clapped in triumph. “Ha! See! You just like the disaster scene, you’re letting that get in the way of the fact the rest is shit!”

Besides, even if Tsukishima could admit the disaster scene was wonderful, the rest fell flatter than three day old soda.

“Oh, because you totally don’t like the fifth one just for the disaster scene,” Kuroo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “A bridge collapse? Seriously?”

“More original than some glorified car accident,” Tsukishima shot back, crossing his arms in hopes of looking more menacing. Too bad that strategy no longer worked on Kuroo.

“The logs Kei, the logs.”

“If that’s all you have to offer, then you’re not as good at arguing as I thought,” Tsukishima sighed in pity, a tone normally used for provoking Kuroo into…different situations. He’d happily employ it for this fight, no doubt.

The last Final Destination may have had subpar effects, but the ending and the deaths were so well crafted, he refused to let them be overlooked.

“Oh really now? What are your points then? I’m sure someone as devoted as you has more to dish out than insults…”

Tsukishima nearly winced. Kuroo, regardless of his sweetness and the fondness he held for him, had a sharp tongue on him all the same. Tsukishima loved him, but this was not helping.

Not that he was at a disadvantage. Oh no. He would gladly pick apart all the excellent points of the fifth Final Destination if Kuroo wanted him to, but really, his biggest point said it all.

Tsukishima sniffed, aura haughty and just the right amount of bratty to drive Kuroo up the wall. “Why should I? It’s obviously the superior film.”

“So help me, if you say it’s because it connects to the first—”

“It connects to the first film—”

“Kei.”

“—and it does so flawlessly! Admit it!”

“Never!”

Tsukishima turned on his heel, holding his breath as he walked to the end of the living room and back to face Kuroo. It needed to be done. He was about to lose it.

Kuroo either didn’t sense that or wasn’t scared to test it.

“You’re the one letting personal preference get in the way of which one had a better plot Kei, the second one has better acting and—”

“How is tying back to the first one not a better plot? It’s a prequel, a surprise prequel! Also what the hell, they all have the same plot!”

“That’s crap, I know you don’t believe that!”

(Tsukishima did not but okay, technically it was the truth. A director could only take a concept so far.)

Kuroo laughed, somewhat crazed, as he finished his spiel. “Final Destination 2 is better in every way, I liked the characters more, the deaths were better, and it stood on its own. It didn’t have to rely on the first film—”

“It…it completely relies on the first film!”

“—in order to be successful. You probably just don’t remember because you were too busy watching the cash grab that was the fifth movie.”

Tsukishima, had he been more on Kuroo’s level of drama, might’ve gasped, hand on his chest and everything. But no, he steeled himself, squinting because like hell would he blink. Blinking meant defeat.

“The critics hated it,” Tsukishima seethed, as if that meant anything at all. A low, pathetic blow even for him. Was he losing?

“The people loved it,” Kuroo said back, his grin wide and so telling. He thinks I’m losing. Me.

Unacceptable.

The problem there? When Tsukishima got competitive, part of his rationale flew out the window. Therefore, stupid, impulsive decisions could slip through.

Kuroo’s next words were all it took.

“A true horror fan would know, amidst all the movies in the franchise, number two is the shining star,” Kuroo sighed, placing a hand on Tsukishima’s trembling shoulder with confidence all too grand. “It’s okay babe, I still love you, flaws and all.”

Fuck. You.

“Well, we—we’re just gonna have to watch all of them then!” Tsukishima yelled, the fierceness of competition flaring up without control. “We’ll see what the shining star is!”

“Fine!”

“Great!”

Oof.

Or, not great. Not one of his best ideas in hindsight, considering it was already close to midnight. But he was committed.

This, this would surely show Kuroo how wrong he was. The middle movies were a fucking slog and they both knew it. Kuroo would crack in no time, begging Tsukishima to just skip right to the last film.

Fuck yeah.

Unfortunately, he overestimated several things. One, his own patience, and two, his ability to stomach more than two of these shitty ass movies in a row.

Hint: he could not.

It was halfway through Final Destination 3 that Tsukishima had enough, mostly because both he and Kuroo didn't care for this particular installment to the mediocre franchise and also because…as sad as it sounded, he sort of no longer knew why they were fighting.

Glancing over at Kuroo from the corner of his eye, Tsukishima could make out the bored stare mixed with stubbornness and just a tad bit of disgust (the tanning salon death always did sort of freak Kuroo out). Tsukishima couldn't help but grin at the small bit of knowledge, and he cursed himself. Why was being mad at Kuroo so hard?

Maybe it's because you're arguing about Final Destination, Tsukishima's brain supplied, quite unhelpfully.

Kuroo's hands were clenched, gaze flickering towards the remote as if he was contemplating giving in and turning the cursed thing off.

He wouldn't though. They were both far too prideful for that.

No, if Kuroo was going to concede, Tsukishima would have to employ other tactics, and he momentarily let himself cast away any remaining dignity. He couldn't half-ass this, and once his plan was put into action, he wouldn't be able to turn back.

I can't believe it's come to this.

More unbelievable still was the way a rush of anticipation ran up his body, the beginnings of a desirous heat coiling in his abdomen. Like a reflex, a preview of what was to come.

He wondered if his heart had started to race yet, his pulse picking up...

He'd been complaining earlier, but it truly was hard to stay mad at Kuroo. He was....well, he was Kuroo.

Just the name made him relax, and Tsukishima didn't bother scolding himself. What was the use? This would be over soon, given how grossly affectionate he was feeling.

At the thought, Tsukishima looked back at his boyfriend, noting the way the shadows and flashes from the T.V. danced across the curves of his face. The light flecked in his golden eyes, subtle and far too mesmerizing considering the movie playing. Those eyes, framed by long eyelashes and the occasional sand had held Tsukishima's gaze so many times. In fact, Tsukishima had stared at Kuroo's entire face more times than he could count, but he always found himself observing the same things over and over. The light crease on the bridge of his nose during allergy season, the discoloration on the tops of his cheeks due to too many beach trips.

Tsukishima could almost feel the textures from memory alone, each bump, every contour.

Seeing him sitting there, so content and at home regardless of their stupidity, made Tsukishima's heart squeeze, and an easy admission floated into his brain.

Kuroo, with all his dumb reasonings and silly jokes, was handsome. Tsukishima knew that, but it had been a while since he'd reminded himself. Maybe he was setting himself up for disaster, but whatever. He always did like sticking to facts.

Tsukishima didn't feel the need to add more to the observation, and if he had to write a book, he doubted Kuroo's description would be more than a few lines long. Kuroo's smooth edges and searing gazes were too much to describe, but to Tsukishima, they felt so simple. So right. He didn't have to make a case for Kuroo's looks, they stared him in the face everyday, woke up with him, laughed with him.

Not bothering with subtlety anymore, Tsukishima moved his body away from the television until he was facing Kuroo, hugging his knees up to his chest as he continued his musings. Plus, he'd seen this movie enough times (more than enough, fucking hell) to recognize the events. Some guy in the drive-thru was about to get bladed through the head, truly, Final Destination 3 deserved to be in a national archive of some sort. Best film ever.

As if sharing the sentiment, Kuroo chuckled, rolling his eyes at the display of gore.

Yeah, that's my guy, Tsukishima thought, without much resistance. Kuroo never disappointed him, Final Destination 2 be damned.

Tsukishima bit his lip, noting the softness as he stared at his boyfriend's creased brow. He never realized how soft his lips were until he started dating Kuroo. The raven liked to bite on them, pull and suck...

A second tremor came then, and now Tsukishima knew it was over.

Fuck this.

"Like what you see?" Kuroo's soft, amused tone floated in his ears, and he didn't flinch. Tsukishima knew Kuroo had noticed the staring from the beginning, but he was patient with Tsukishima, letting him collect his thoughts for a bit.

God, you're the worst.

And just like that, the last of Tsukishima's willpower was gone.

"Mm," he hummed, moving slowly until he was comfortably seated in Kuroo's lap. "I don't know. The gym death is kind of lame."

One of Kuroo's hands automatically came up to grab Tsukishima's hip, while the other laced their fingers together. Such a sweet, intimate gesture, all to the sound of Lewis Romero's delusional theories.

"The lamest," Kuroo replied, eyes never leaving Tsukishima's lips. The blond briefly wondered how he did that, how he could read the atmosphere so well nowadays. Kuroo was so terrible at that in high school, accidentally offending people, including Tsukishima on a few occasions. The doofus apologized genuinely each time, but still, it was impressive to see how far he'd come.

Now he could read the room like a telepath might, feeling the shifts in mood and atmosphere, knowing exactly what people wanted.

And right then, he could probably tell just how much Tsukishima wanted to be fucked against the nearest available surface.

Side note: Yes, he knew how weird it was to become unbearably horny during a rewatch of a horror franchise, he couldn't explain it and didn't really want to. End of story. Besides, he was allowed, especially after the time Kuroo wanted to get dicked after watching A Christmas Carol, there were some things they just refused to acknowledge.

“Final Destination 2 is pretty lame too you know,” Tsukishima jabbed, but the animosity from before wasn’t there anymore, replaced now with a soft whisper as he tapped his fingers against the back of Kuroo’s hand.

“Mmhm, and so is Final Destination 5,” Kuroo nudged, moving his hips to let Tsukishima slide closer. He happily did so.

“The whole franchise is.”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Without a doubt.”

“The worst.”

Each exchange only made their stupid smiles grow, and Kuroo nuzzled Tsukishima’s neck to hide his face before it made them both blush.

“Hey…you know what’s not lame?” Kuroo asked, and Tsukishima rolled his eyes before the words fully left his mouth. Oh no…

Of course, there was no real dread to be found as Tsukishima touched their foreheads together. “Stop.”

“The most beautiful person in the world—”

“No.”

“Light of my life!”

“Tetsu.”

“The future Kuroo Kei, beloved husband.”

The words made Tsukishima halt, especially with how Kuroo’s tone trembled on the last syllables, as if he hadn’t meant to say such a serious thing. He didn’t have to worry, because the words only made Tsukishima wonder how he’d ever been mad at this fool in the first place.

He didn’t let the silence sit between them long, not when Kuroo sat so tense beneath him. Dummy, as if I’d be mad at that.

“Tsukishima Tetsurou,” he whispered into the small space between them, their breath mingling. The admission the reinforcement brought with it, the fact he’d revealed he actually pictured them married, made Tsukishima’s cheeks heat up.

“Huh?” Kuroo choked out, as if he totally hadn’t heard the words loud and clear. Tsukishima laughed lightly, shaking his head.

“It sounds better…that way…you know?” The explanation was poor, but Tsukishima couldn’t sound smart right then, not with the butterflies in his stomach, or the constant heat beneath his skin. To think, they could’ve been this close, touching, this whole time.

Slowly, Kuroo touched their lips together, a peck far too innocent for how in the mood Tsukishima was. Damn Kuroo and his ability to turn every moment sappy. Did Tsukishima understand it? No. Would he change it? Never.

“Yeah, guess it does,” Kuroo said, smiling in a way which would surely kill Tsukishima if he continued.

“So…truce?” Tsukishima tried, moving his hips in hopes of getting that dumb look off of Kuroo’s face. “I’d like to pick up from where we left off, if you don’t mind.”

Being sappy was fun and all, but that was their entire life pretty much. Right then, Tsukishima wanted primal, needy, and nothing would get in the way of that.

One more purposeful grind, and Kuroo got the picture.

Grinning in that lovable, aggravating way, Kuroo met Tsukishima’s movements. “About time.”

I’ll say.

A shiver ran down Tsukishima’s spine as any thoughts of movies or terrible gore effects were forgotten, and he succumbed to the atmosphere, wanting more and more of it.

"Hey...what was that thing at the party you were doing?" Tsukishima asked, ready to dissolve the tension around them and take the plunge. He'd been thinking about this throughout the party, and not even the interruption of Final Destination could smother the flame building between them. He was tired of waiting. The moment of confusion on Kuroo's face didn't last long when Tsukishima placed both of Kuroo's hands on his hips, shivering at the touch on the bare skin where his shirt rode up. Why did he have it on still again?

The recognition in Kuroo's eyes made Tsukishima feel so small, something only Kuroo could do from such a vulnerable position. It happened to be the only time Tsukishima allowed it. And yeah, it was a great look on his boyfriend, as if it was taking all of his willpower to not fuck Tsukishima into the couch right then and there. Kuroo was such a pleaser though, wanting to draw out every touch, every position so Tsukishima could feel everything.

Tonight though, Tsukishima wanted to be the pleaser too, and a wicked thought crossed his mind as his mouth salivated.

I want it in my mouth...

It was the least he could do, after destroying his boyfriend so badly in their fight. Or maybe he just wanted to suck his dick until Kuroo begged to come. He didn't care much anymore about pretenses.

Kuroo chuckled darkly, unaware of how in control Tsukishima was (but honestly, when wasn't he?), and dug into his soft skin with poorly masked greed. "Somehow I doubt that's all you want me to do, love."

And this time, the endearment made him want to surrender.

Kuroo bucked his hips up, grinding their growing erections together, and Tsukishima laughed lowly even as a shudder racked his body. Of course not, but it's a good place to start.

Kuroo's hands traveled up his chest, ghosting over his nipples with his palms slowly. It was as if Kuroo was the conductor of Tsukishima's pleasure, the only one who got the notes and cues exactly right. He grinned as Tsukishima's hips dipped lowly towards him, seeking more.

Tsukishima moaned, and he figured it was alright, since soon Kuroo would be as undone as him.

The sensation of Kuroo playfully tugging at his nipples almost made his plan blur in his mind, his back arching into the feeling, but the determination drove him forward. Perhaps too roughly, he undid the buckle on Kuroo's belt, and in record time, he flung the damn thing to the floor.

Much better, but not enough.

Smirking, Tsukishima leaned forward, licking into Kuroo's mouth until their breath grew hot and frantic. It could hardly be called a kiss, the way Tsukishima would tease with his tongue, coaxing Kuroo's to meet him and make those obscene smacking noises they both loved so much. Shamelessly, he tugged on Kuroo's waistband as he moaned into the kiss. If that wasn't enough to get Kuroo moving, his next words certainly were.

He pulled away, letting a string of saliva connect them as he squeezed Kuroo through his underwear. The captivation on his boyfriend's face made his own cock twitch in his pants. "It's not what I want you to do, it's what I wanna do." Another harsh tug. "Off."

He loved when Kuroo moved fast sometimes.

In a matter of seconds, rough hands returned to his hips, seating him on the couch cushion as Kuroo stood up and kicked off his pants and boxers in a few fluid movements.

The pure obedience did something to Tsukishima he couldn't properly explain, but he squirmed where he sat, trying not to moan at the sight of his boyfriend's cock as it hung heavy between his legs.

It probably didn't matter, since the way Tsukishima immediately moved off the couch and onto his knees spoke for itself. His mind was already racing with the desire to make his boyfriend come, to suck on the head until Kuroo begged for more, to choke on his cock...

"Wait!" Kuroo's voice made him freeze though, and he looked up at Kuroo as the raven sat back onto the couch. He probably looked so sex drunk already, from how Kuroo's eyes flashed with something carnivorous. Stroking his cock, Kuroo laughed at the way Tsukishima's eyes followed the movement, and then pat his thigh. "Come up here."

At that, Tsukishima actually snapped out of it for a bit, blinking in confusion. "But I want to--"

"I know you do, and I'm gonna let you," Kuroo said, and his smirk actually made Tsukishima glare. "But you deserve a consolation prize too."

Tsukishima scoffed, standing to shuck off his pants and briefs.

"It's not a consolation prize if you're the winner," he replied, and still unsure of Kuroo's plan, he hopped back up onto the couch until his breath fanned over Kuroo's cock once more.

The tremble in Kuroo's voice made him wiggle his hips, and he made sure Kuroo watched.

"What happened to a truce?" Kuroo's voice shook as Tsukishima gave his cock a few firm strokes, and the blond didn't care what Kuroo was planning, he wanted more of that desperation now.

"I needed to tell you something," he said slyly, and before Kuroo could retort, he took the head of his cock in his mouth, sucking like he yearned for it. Kuroo choked out a moan as the milky precum met Tsukishima's tongue, and he swirled it around lewdly in his mouth.

Kuroo's hips twitched from the pleasure, and Tsukishima keened, the vibrations driving Kuroo mad.

"Fuck baby, that's right," Kuroo groaned, his hand digging into the cushions clumsily until he found their bottle of lube. Tsukishima didn't understand at first, but the realization dawned on him as soon as he felt a large hand kneed his ass.

Oh. Oh okay. Yes please.

Sticking his ass up higher, Tsukishima began to suck Kuroo off in earnest, making the show of it as he went all the way down on his cock. The sloshing and choking noises probably weren't necessary, but he loved the way they made Kuroo grab his blond hair and pull.

"Fuck Kei, you're amazing."

Tsukishima drank in all of Kuroo's babbles, all the praises and embarrassing comments.

"Want me to stretch you open? You're so dirty, bouncing your ass like this..."

"I'm gonna make you come hard with my cock in your mouth, Kei."

Tsukishima whined, trying his best to keep a good rhythm so Kuroo wouldn't come so fast. But god, it was tempting, especially when all he wanted was to pull off and tell Kuroo to come hard down his throat.

All coherent thought left his mind when Kuroo's lubed finger prodded at his entrance, teasing the rim until Tsukishima's whines turned even brattier, just how Kuroo liked. Tsukishima never liked to show that side of himself, no matter how much Kuroo told him it was okay. But when he did, something in Kuroo snapped, and he was no better than an animal.

He worked Tsukishima open, the lust taking over as he spoke mindlessly. "Fuck babe, your mouth is good at everything huh? So smart, but you can't say anything right now can you?"

He pulled Tsukishima off his cock, and the blond gasped.

Kuroo cursed under his breath. "So sexy..."

At the same time, Kuroo pushed in another finger, teasing the bundle of nerves inside Tsukishima with practiced skill.

Tsukishima got the picture as Kuroo kept him off his cock, but he wanted more than anything to keep going. Kuroo was close, but he obviously didn't want the fun to end. Tsukishima licked the head of his boyfriend's cock instead while Kuroo fingered him roughly, eventually scissoring him with three fingers after Tsukishima loosened up for him. And yeah, Tsukishima couldn't say anything at all, could just moan and push back wantonly.

Kuroo must've used more lube on purpose too, because the way his fingers plunged in and out of Tsukishima's ass filled the room with sloppy, indecent sounds which made Tsukishima glad they didn't have close neighbors.

"Tetsu, ah--I'm--fuck," Tsukishima's words quickly turned to mush when Kuroo pressed firmly against his prostate, and Tsukishima spasmed around him, like he wanted to keep his fingers locked there so badly.

But Kuroo really was a genuine bastard.

He pulled his fingers out, his palm connecting with Tsukishima's ass cheek with a resounding slap.

Tsukishima's back arched, and he stroked Kuroo's cock as best he could with trembling hands.

"Don't stop..."

"Hm, tempting," Kuroo sighed, groaning when Tsukishima licked a long stripe up his cock. "M-maybe if you admit I was right."

Seriously.

Tsukishima huffed, but he was too far gone to stop this, he felt so good. He just wanted to come, wanted to make Kuroo come..."I hate you sometimes."

Not that the words landed in the slightest when he was drooling over his boyfriend's dick. Or when Kuroo abruptly thrusted his fingers back inside of him, Tsukishima's moans way too happy to carry anything convincing.

"Aw, you hate me now? Is that it?" Kuroo said, amusement clear as day as he let Tsukishima feel every slow drag of his fingers inside him.

The rough, breathless syllables pouring from his lips made Tsukishima's mind swim, his body twisting at the sex-drunk words. Kuroo's speech abilities varied, and so far tonight, his debate skills hadn't gotten him far. Now, he was giving 110% to cover all that lost ground.

Tsukishima keened, and fuck, he didn't even bother glaring as Kuroo continued. "Hard to believe. You're so tight around me...."

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

“Mm, I wish I could hate you," Tsukishima sighed out, nails digging into Kuroo's thigh as he felt the familiar coiling of heat in his gut.

I'm gonna come, please make me come...

"But?" Kuroo's grin was most likely of the shit-eating kind, but Tsukishima didn't have it in him anymore to mind. He'd take everything Kuroo offered.

Thinking actions would speak louder than words, Tsukishima took Kuroo's cock back into his mouth, his pace merciless.

Come on, fall apart for me.

And Kuroo certainly did, all inclinations to tease or argue out the window. Neither of them cared about words, not with the pleasure building, not with Kuroo whimpering into the air of their apartment as Tsukishima took him deep.

He felt Kuroo's thrusts quicken, knew his fingers must've been cramping by then, but he kept going, eager to make Tsukishima feel as good as possible.

In the last few moments, a surge of affection welled up in Tsukishima's chest, and the noise he made around Kuroo's cock finally sent him over the edge.

Kuroo threw his head back, his hand leaving Tsukishima's hair to grip the armrest. "Oh god, oh shit, baby I'm coming, I'm--"

The feeling of Kuroo's cum shooting down his throat, along with the rough press of his fingers, sent Tsukishima toppling over the edge. He pulled off as he sobbed out in pleasure, some cum dribbling from the corner of his mouth as his body trembled.

He moved his hips shamelessly, riding out every last shock wave as he released into his hand. At least he'd had enough sense to do that right before his vision blanked out, his toes curling.

So good, so good.

Collapsing, he gave one last jolt as Kuroo pulled out his fingers, the sound absolutely filthy. Spent, their labored breathing filled the room, and Tsukishima lazily wiped his hand on his discarded pair of pants.

"Wow," Kuroo sighed above him, and Tsukishima simply hummed in response. His throat was sore, and his body still tingled from his orgasm. He was perfectly content with silence, and Kuroo's comforting touches.

Or, almost.

One last thought did cross his mind, and he turned over onto his back, letting his head rest on Kuroo's thigh. He felt the blush spread across his cheeks, a reaction he found annoying each time. No matter how many times he said it, it never got less embarrassing. "I love you too much to hate you by the way, shitty movie opinions and all."

Kuroo probably knew that already but...he felt he had to say it. The night couldn't get weirder anyways.

Tsukishima saw the exact moment Kuroo's brain and soul combusted from the statement, and before he knew it, he was being tackled onto the floor, his limbs too relaxed to protest as Kuroo smothered him in affection.

Oh well, if terrible movie marathons ended like this each time, Tsukishima couldn't mind it.

Much.

As if remembering the reason for all this mess, Kuroo lifted his head, glancing over to the home screen of the next installment of the franchise. The fourth one. Terushima's favorite.

Looking at each other, the consensus was reached, and the mutual hatred was all they needed as they both uttered the same response.

"No."

And yes, the truce persisted.