#not my dog not my shit to pick up ig but i don’t get it 😭

[comraderoscoes]

what has estie done for some people including alpine to hate him so much 😭 kmag’s been racing dangerously for weeks and it’s all ha ha he he but estie makes a mistake and he deserves to be racing in jail? 😭

[thesunshookwithjoy]

(extremely long tag rant)

[eunchancorner]

AU Mashup thing part 1

This feels so incredibly weird to even have written but be cringe and be free ig

I'm dropping this on you guys with no context so have fun

-

“Alright, Sven, Burt, are you two ready?” Henry asked, swirling the liquid in the vial he was holding. He looked at the heads of communications and financing, both of whom looked uneasy about what this was going to do.

“Yeah, remind me why we have to do this with you?” the blonde demanded, narrowing his eyes.

Henry sighed, grumbling to himself.

“How many times do I have to tell you? Reginald’s allergic to dogs, we don’t know what it’ll do to Right Hand Man AND Charles’s augmentations, and if I try to make Ellie do it, she’ll shoot me in the face and take over. So, you two are my next options.”

“Ah, so we’re…” Burt counted on his fingers for a moment. “Your fifth and sixth picks. Wonderful. I feel honored,” he deadpanned, though Henry could sense the sarcasm in his voice.

“Yes, because you’re both high ranking, intelligent, and don’t have complications with doing this.”

“What about Macbeth? Isn’t he both head of munitions and used to be the train conductor? Why don’t you make him do this?” Sven questioned, crossing his arms.

“Well, one, your ass must be crazy if you think I’m gonna try to super-soldierize our head of munitions, and two, he’s old as dirt,” Henry explained, earning a quiet snicker from the blonde.

“Heh, okay, he is pretty old. But if I end up dying from this, I’m haunting you.”

“Sven, if you die from this, we’re probably all gonna die from this, so good luck.”

“So, are we doing this or not? The doctors said we’re running on a schedule, so we might want to get on with it,” Burt cut in.

“Right, right. One the count of three?” the chief asked, and the other two nodded.

“One…”

A deep breath from Sven.

“Two…”

A sigh from Burt.

“Three.”

In union, the three downed the liquid in the vials they held. They all sat silently for a bit, waiting to see if it would take effect, before Sven stood.

“Well! It would appear that this little leg of the experiment is unsuccessful. Now, if you gentlemen would excuse me, I have some very import… tant…” the blonde trailed off, his eyes widening as he slowly sat back down. And Henry could feel why, too.

All of a sudden, he had a painful headache, and his tailbone felt sore and stiff. What was worse, the pain was slowly growing more intense.

“Oh god… Henry, what the hell is going on…?” Burt groaned, shoving his hands under his headphones to clutch at his head. Sven was squeezing his eyes shut at the pain.

“I-I don’t know, this wasn’t part of the plan… We might be having some kind of reaction to the serums?” the Toppat leader suggested. “God it- It feels like my skull is splitting open!”

“I can’t… I can’t…!” Sven kept trying to speak but trailed off every time, and soon enough, he fainted. Burt followed almost immediately, leaving Henry concerned and alone.

“Guys?! Are you two okay?! I… shit…!” he clutched his head tightly as he tried to keep his own conscious state, faintly hearing a voice just past his own heartbeat.

“Guys, what are you- Oh my god! Henry!”

Ellie?

He looked up at her as his vision dimmed, just in time to see her rush over to him, Charles appearing in the doorway behind her.

“Don’t just stand there, get the medteam down here!” she demanded from him. The last thing Henry saw before it all went black was Charles rushing away.

[ars3n1c-101]

Vent ig bro

TW

The way I literally sometimes want to kill myself. Like I got broken up with over relapsing, and he seems perfectly fine after ending a year long relationship and not even a WEEK later when he’s AT MY HOUSE to pick his shit up. Some driver speeding down this damn rural road hits our 10 year old dog whose already got hit once back when he was younger and we had to put him down. NOT ONLY FUCKING THAT. BUT LIKE. I’ve asked my mother to tell me when people are gonna be at our house and to include me in whether they come over or not due to me having A social meter that’s sometimes low?? And when I communicated my needs to her like “hey, could we not have anyone at the house for a few days..” we proceeded to have cousin’s over. And they were loud and I was on a nocturnal type fucking sleep schedule so they woke me up twice and I yelled at them and told them to go home. (They’re cousin’s who live next door.) like if you’re not gonna get in the pool, go home, cause that’s the only reason you’re being allowed over is to get in the pool. So why are you using the cat toy I BOUGHT to hit *insert cousin’s name*.

This all happened in like a week. I’m starting to think I don’t have the best luck. Pretty sure it’s pretty bad luck at this point. I’m. Im so done with this shit dude. It fucking SUCKS. But yeah. Whatever

[theautisticbarbie]

A Bird of Praise

Act II

Chapter VII: The Birthday Queen

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Illustration by @deathclassic (check out her artwork here and on IG and maybe give her a commission if you can! She was AMAZING to work with! Also, I printed this piece and got it autographed by THE Joseph Quinn himself 👀)

Word Count: 2,929

Chapter summary: Billy nearly ruins Tara’s birthday with his drunken antics… that is until Eddie swoops in and saves her special day. Unfortunately, his toxic girlfriend gets wind of it, leading to a confession brought on by morphine courage that leaves Tara absolutely bewildered.

Chapter warnings: partner abuse (Billy being emotionally abusive to Tara in the beginning and Brenda engaging in physical violence towards the end)

Sunday 4 November 1984 was Tara’s 17th birthday.

When she came home from her performance the previous day after dropping Alanna off, she went up to her room to find Billy passed out drunk on her bed with her mini fridge door wide open. There were beer cans all over the floor. Tara let out a heavy sigh before cleaning them all up. She decided to take a shower and change into her nightgown before dealing with him.

“Billy?” she asked, gently stroking his face to wake him.

His eyes flew open and the back of his palm clashed with Tara’s face, causing her to double over.

“Ow! Son of a biscuits! Billy!”

“Babe! You scared the shit out of me!” he slurred.

“Well, do you mind moving over so I can go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

“What are you talking about? There’s plenty of room!” he declared, drunkenly gesturing to his body. “Come on, babe! Get comfy!”

Tara sighed and got onto her bed, where Billy engulfed her in his arms. “My baby,” he slurred.

“Neil punched me today,” Billy said.

“What?”

“He told me I couldn’t see you anymore and I told him to go fuck himself… so he punched me…”

“Billy that’s awful!”

“No, it’s fine! I punched him back harder! He won’t be doing that shit again!”

Tara could smell the rancid alcohol on his breath and nearly puked as he kissed her. “Baby…”

“Yes?”

Silence.

“Billy?”

He was out cold. Passed out drunk again. Tara sighed and tried to nod off to sleep given the circumstances.

When Tara got up the next morning to start her birthday, she tried to rouse Billy with herbal tea.

“So, as you know, today is my birthday.”

“Babe, I’ve got a hangover worse than… fuck it. Ain’t nothing worse than this.”

“Well, I figured I could let you sleep in, go pick up some lunch from my favourite cafe and we can watch movies. Just have a lazy day.”

“Or you can draw the drapes, shut the fuck up and let me sleep this off.”

That hurt. Tara was really trying hard to meet Billy where he was, and once again, he chose to be a jerk.

“Fine. Sweet dreams.” Tara closed the door behind her and just cried.

She heard an engine pull up and there was a knock at the door.

When she went down to answer it, Eddie was there. “What? Seriously? You’re not even dressed yet?” he asked playfully.

“I’m sorry?”

“Did you get amnesia in that little head of yours? Don’t you remember what day it is?”

“Sunday?”

“Come on. I know you’ve got a nice little birthday outfit picked out. Why don’t you go put it on and come on down to the van for your birthday surprise?”

Maybe it was the way he wore that Jean Jacket and that Dio shirt, maybe it was his cute puppy dog eyes or maybe it was something all together different, but she did what he asked so it had to be something.

When she came back down, it was in a pretty pink birthday outfit.

“Well, don’t you look absolutely stunning? Come on, princess. After you,” he said, opening the passenger side door.

After making sure she’s all strapped in, Eddie started up the van.

“Feel free to peruse my music collection.”

Tara looked through the tapes to see if she found anything she would like. Most of it, of course, was all the kind of stuff her brother would enjoy. Not that she didn’t also enjoy that type of music, possibly because she always heard it blasting from her brother’s room, but she was hoping to come across something more her taste.

At last, she found something she could enjoy. She slid the tape in the radio and hit play.

“The Lady Lies” by Genesis began blasting through the speakers.

“Genesis, huh? Excellent choice, sweetheart!”

“I love Genesis! Phil Collins is amazing!”

“Yeah. Some of Peter Gabriel’s stuff is good, too, but yeah. Phil Collins. He’s the man.”

“Where are we going if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Darling, it’s called a surprise for a reason.”

“Is it a good surprise?”

“It’s your birthday, right?”

The van pulled over on the side of the road. Eddie took a black skull bandanna out of his glove compartment.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to step out of the van for a sec, princess.”

“Okay?”

Tara stepped out and Eddie proceeded to blindfold her with the bandana. She could only hear the occasional passing vehicle when he then grabbed her and spun her around a few times.

“There we go! Come on, beautiful. Back in the van, you go!”

The van went a little bit further when it stopped. Eddie popped out from the driver’s side and helped Tara out of the passenger’s side. He took Tara’s hand and led the way. She tried to use her other senses to figure out what the surprise was. She heard sliding doors. Okay she was entering a building. There were clearly other people there.

“Shush!” she heard. That was DEFINITELY Robin’s voice.

“Are you ready, princess?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Eddie stopped and reached for her blindfold. He yanked it off, and she was bombarded by a collective “Surprise!”

Sure enough, Robin was there. So was Daniel, Alanna and the Hellfire Club. There was a banner that said “Happy 17th Birthday Daniel and Tara!”

“Oh my gosh!” Tara exclaimed. “How did you even plan this?”

“Well to be honest, we kinda counted on your shitty boyfriend dropping the ball today. Seems he didn’t disappoint,” Daniel said.

Tara took in her surroundings. She was in a roller rink. “Dancing Queen” by ABBA began playing over the sound system. She was in disbelief.

“Come on,” Alanna shouted. “Let’s skate already!”

“Of course, you’re raring to go, Miss Roller Derby Champion!” Eddie teased.

Tara had an amazing time. There was skating, presents, nothing too extravagant, though, considering they were all still high schoolers, and when it was time to cut the cake, Tara was in for another pleasant surprise.

“Ice cream cake!”

“Your favourite!” Daniel remarked.

“Hey! You like it, too!” Tara retorted.

“I don’t hate it,” he shrugged.

They sung happy birthday, blew out the candles and Tara sat down across Eddie with her cake. She swore she could recognise the song playing on the sound system, but couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Are you having a good birthday so far, sweetheart?”

“I am…” Tara sighed. “I just wish Billy was here.”

“He’s an idiot. He doesn’t know what he has.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if I had a girlfriend like you, I’d be a hell of a lot more grateful than he seems to be.”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend? Where is she, anyway?”

“This isn’t about Brenda,” he said, his posture suddenly slightly uncomfortable.

Eddie took her hand and her heart began to flutter as she felt her cheeks get hot.

“I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me. I wanna feel what love is. I know you can show me,” the sound system played.

Ah, of course. “I wanna know what love is” by Foreigner.

Eddie gently stroked her hand with his thumb.

“Are you even happy with him?”

“I… I don’t know… we have good moments sometimes…”

“Do you love him?”

“I… I… I don’t know anymore…”

“Then why stay with him?”

“Eddie! My ice cream cake is gonna melt!”

Tara quickly scarfed down the cake, very keen on avoiding his question.

“Looks like you got more of it on you than in you,” Eddie teased, wiping her mouth.

Tara groaned, holding her head.

“Ouch. Looks like someone’s got brainfreeze,” he chuckled.

But when Tara fell over, he became concerned. “You okay?”

No response.

“Tara?”

He rushed to her side.

“Whoah, there,” he sat her up.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

“Tara? Hello?” Eddie shook her.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

Eddie shook her harder. “Tara, wake up!”

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

“Earth to Tara Newman! Hello!”

Blood ran down her nose as the lights began to flicker.

“Hello?” Tara canvassed the darkness around her.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

“Who’s there?” she asked.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

Tara saw a woman in a nightgown rocking in a chair.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

Tara approached the woman, who looked at her.

“Breathe. Sunflower. Three to the right. Four to the left. Rainbow. 450.”

The woman looked to her right, and Tara turned her head to see what she was looking at.

It was the little girl from the other day, but she looked different.

For lack of a better phrase, she looked like she had just been playing dress up with Eddie or Daniel.

Tara approached her when a booming voice dragged her out of her state.

“TARA WAKE UP!”

Tara snapped back to reality to find Eddie literally shaking her so hard he could probably give her whiplash.

Tara caught her breath and looked at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, handing her a tissue to wipe her nose.

“I… think so?” Tara said, wiping her face.

“Do you smell burnt toast at all?” he asked.

“No?”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three.”

Eddie sighed in relief.

That relief was unfortunately short lived when the party heard someone bust through the door.

“EDDIE YOU CHEATING BASTARD!”

Eddie looked over to see Brenda with a cohort who she had presumably gotten a ride from.

“Oh great,” he said sarcastically, rubbing his eyes.

“You son of a bitch!” Brenda called, beelining towards him.

“Brenda, you’re doing this at my best friend’s birthday party,” Eddie said, raising his hands to show he meant no harm.

“And who is that?” Brenda asked, pointing to Tara.

“My sister,” Daniel said flatly. “We’re twins. You know, that thing where two babies are born at once?”

“Shut up, Daniel! I wasn’t talking to you! Wait a sec, you’re the slut from Tina’s Halloween party!”

“Whoah!” Eddie exclaimed, keeping his hands raised. “Why don’t we have a long overdue conversation?” he asked, taking Brenda’s hand and leading her outside of the building.

He lit up a cigarette to calm his nerves.

“Well, talk!” Brenda demanded.

Eddie took a deep drag from his cigarette and exhaled.

“Brenda, here’s the thing. Things were great at first. The sex was decent, we had fun dates, all that good shit. But then you started accusing me of cheating anytime I even got within 10 feet of another woman. The time you literally fought the waitress at Waffle House when she was just doing her job? The time you tried to get the cashier at Melvald’s fired for asking me how my day was when she’s old enough to be my mom? Hell, just yesterday, you literally choked me for staying late at Daniel’s house.”

“Well, you’re supposed to be MY boyfriend!” Brenda retorted defensively.

“Look, I’ve had my mind made up about this since this morning. I think it would be best if you unpacked this rampant insecurity of yours before trying to be in a relationship.”

“What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?!”

“I have to, Brenda. This isn’t good for either of us.”

“But… Eddie…” Tears welled up in Brenda’s eyes.

“Look,” Eddie let out a heavy sigh. “I know it hurts. Believe me. I’m fully aware that I’m a catch. But this is for the best.”

“I’m gonna kill myself!” Brenda said. “You hear me? I’m gonna kill myself and it’s gonna be your fault!”

Eddie thought back to the many times he broke every traffic law known to man to rush to Brenda when she said those things.

“I’m sorry, Brenda. I really am. I really wanted this to work, but I just can’t anymore.”

With that, Eddie stomped out his cigarette and went back inside, leaving Brenda to sob.

She began to seethe. All she wanted was a little loyalty and now he was leaving her? That was it. She stomped her way back inside, eye makeup streaking her face.

“Eddie!” she called. Once she had his attention, she jabbed him particularly hard in the gut, causing him to double over.

“Oh… god…” Eddie groaned, clutching his side.

“Jesus, she punched you hard,” Gareth said, crouching to his side, his voice trailing off when he saw blood ooze out.

He looked back to see Brenda’s fist drizzled with blood. She was holding small blade between her fingers.

Once people realised what was happening, things became a nightmare. One of the members of Hellfire restrained Brenda with a bear hug when she lunged at Tara with the blade.

“Let me go!” Brenda demanded.

“Nope. Can’t do that.”

Gareth and Daniel were at Eddie’s side.

“The paramedics are on their way! Just hold on, man! You’re gonna pull through!”

“Gareth,” Eddie chuckled weakly. “Shut the fuck up.”

Once the paramedics arrived, they examined Eddie’s stab wound.

“This doesn’t look too bad. We’re gonna take you to the hospital and get you stitched up. Just keep this pressed on your wound. The police will be here shortly to deal with your little friend.”

CHOMP.

“OW! Son of a bitch!”

The one member of Hellfire was forced to let her go. He winced at the bite mark as she ran off.

Tara waited anxiously in the waiting room when Wayne walked through.

“What happened?” he asked.

“His girlfriend stabbed him!” Tara hyperventilated.

“What? Goddamn it. I told that boy she was trouble!”

“For Eddie Munson?” A nurse called.

Tara and Wayne were led into a hospital room where Eddie was laid down with supplemental oxygen and an IV in his arm. His clothes were put in a plastic bag.

“Hey, Uncle Wayne!” he slurred.

“Why is he talking all funny like that?” he asked.

“We gave him morphine,” the doctor said.

A police officer poked his head through the door.

“Miss Newman, did you already give your statement to the police?” the doctor asked.

“Yeah. I did that back at the rink.”

“Yeah, we talked to her,” the officer confirmed. “We need to get a statement from you and from his dad as well.”

“I’m his uncle,” Wayne said, clearly taking offence. “Not his shit dad.”

Wayne and the doctor left the room, leaving Tara alone with the morphine drunk Eddie.

Tara sighed in disbelief, still reeling from the roller coaster of a day she had. “I can’t believe Brenda would do this. And on my birthday!”

“I never thought I’d drive a girl so nuts that she’d stab me for dumping her!” Eddie slurred.

“How much morphine did they give you?” Tara asked, raising a brow.

“Eh, don’t worry about it!” Eddie said, waving off a hand that flopped onto the hospital bed.

“Maybe they should stop the drip—“

“No!” Eddie protested. “Forget about that! I have something important to tell you, but…” Eddie looked left and right, shifting his body in a comical fashion, “it’s a secret, so you gotta come closer.”

Tara was confused but decided to play ball and slightly lean forward.

“Closer.”

Tara leaned more.

“Closer.”

Tara continued to inch forward and Eddie let out a frustrated groan.

“Way closer! You’re too far away.”

“Eddie, if I get that close, I’m invading your personal space.”

“Forget ‘personal space’! This is important!” he declared.

“Okay,” Tara sighed, exasperated before getting practically nose to nose with him. “Is this close enough?” she asked in an exaggerated whisper.

“Perfect!” he surged forward and kissed her.

Tara pulled back in shock.

“I’ve seen how Hargrove treats you. I’ve seen him drink and make out with other girls and slap you silly when you call him out.” Eddie looks up at Tara, and she can tell from the look in his big brown eyes he has been sitting on this for quite a while.

“I would never do that. I would put you on a pedestal, show the world you were my girl, and tell anyone else to back off because I only had eyes for you. You’d be my one and only.”

Tara looked away as tears welled up in her eyes while he continued.

“And the only time I would ever put hands on you would be to hold you in my arms and make you feel like the only girl in the world,”

Tears ran down Tara’s cheek as he continued.

“and I would stroke your hair and keep you safe and…”

The rest of what Eddie said was mostly unintelligible and when Tara wiped her eyes and turned back around, he was asleep.

Tara put her fingers to her lips in disbelief. She looked over at Eddie, who was out cold.

Wayne came back in to see Tara wiping her eyes.

“Hey! What did that boy say to you?” he asked, concerned.

“Nothing that made sense. I should get going.”

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“It’s no trouble at all, little lady.”

Wayne’s pickup truck pulled up at Tara’s house and he waited until she got in safe before driving away.

Tara went upstairs to head to bed. It was empty. Billy went home. Thank god.

Tara collapsed onto her bed and nodded off.

[rins-batcave]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Idk sorta but they don’t know me so how can they really love the real me?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My grandpa

03: Do you regret anything? Idk I try not to regret

04: Are you insecure? Maybe?

05: What is your relationship status? Nothing

06: How do you want to die? Idk just right now

07: What did you last eat? Eating ramen now

08: Played any sports? Archery, rock climbing, tennis, swimming, dance, gymnastics + more

09: Do you bite your nails? No but I pick a lot

10: When was your last physical fight? Don’t know never really had one

11: Do you like someone? Kinda but honestly I don’t know now

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yes

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? My friends kinda sorta

14: Do you miss someone? Yeah my old friend rn

15: Have any pets? A dog

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Bad

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? Never :3

18: Are you scared of spiders? Yes extremely

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? No

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Never :3

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Die in bed

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Not sure honestly

23: Do you have piercings? How many? Just earrings

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Math, English, French, geography, science, music (I get really good grades in those subjects ig)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah

26: What are you craving right now? Ramen :)

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Nope

28: Have you ever been cheated on? Nope never had anyone

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Nope never had

30: What’s irritating you right now? Everything

31: Does somebody love you? I hope?

32: What is your favourite color? GREEEN GRENN

33: Do you have trust issues? Not sure

34: Who/what was your last dream about? My characters

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? No one ever :)))))

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Nope I’m very stubborn and I don’t like taking shit from people

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Neither :)

38: Is this year the best year of your life? Nope :)

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? Never :)

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? No

51: Favourite food? Yogurt because it’s practical

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? To some extent yes

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Cry

54: Is cheating ever okay? Not sure really not enough personal experiences like I could see some justification but also no

55: Are you mean? I hope not

56: How many people have you fist fought? No one officially, but I’ve punched some people

57: Do you believe in true love? Maybe, but not everyone wants or feels love?

58: Favourite weather? COLD

59: Do you like the snow? YES J LOVE IT

60: Do you wanna get married? I think I would have to explore my sexuality more

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No comment no one would ever call me that.

62: What makes you happy? My dog, my writing, running, dance, archery, rock climbing, my family, my friends, yall, math, challenges, leadership

63: Would you change your name? Yeah but also I like my real name so maybe just going by rin more?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No one

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Idk

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? My friends

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? One of my irl friends

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Yall? Idk really

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Maybe, but I don’t know really

70: Is there anyone you would die for? Yall on here, my family

Should I just answer all 70 of those questions? I’m bored

[strawbxrryneptune]

Breathe, baby

Personal trainer!Southern!Bakugou

Porn with plot, unprotected sex, creampie, exhibitionism??, praise ig, implied pining, my shitty endings

Masterlist

♡♡

You loved the gym.

Not because you liked working out .

It was a pain when you woke up sore, or when you got sticky with sweat, even though the high of a workout is always worth it, and it meant you could finally fit into that tiny skirt from the mall you saw last week.

What you loved was how your undeniable attraction towards your new personal trainer made for good entertainment.

Katsuki Bakugou.

He was beautiful, new in your city, came from some place down south, and you're sure he knew every time he saw you how much you wanted him.

You couldn't stop gawking, always looking at his ass when he showed you how to do the squats, doing over his pure strength when he did pull ups.

You had arrived right on time, stretching before hand and making sure you looked good.

You strolled into your training room, already hearing some upbeat music and seeing Bakugou doing pull ups, grunting and muscles shaking from the slight strain.

You stand in the doorway, watching sweat trickle down his neck, into the wide neckline of his cami, which clung to his body, nipples peaking through the shirt.

His jaw was clenched, little huffs leaving him as he brought himself up again. The veins on his arms popped against his complexion, and you startled when you realized you were drooling.

You gave a soft cough, alerting him of your presence and watching as he hopped down, red eyes locking onto yours as his chest heaved, cheeks pink and eyes low. The headband holding his hair out of his eyes was slipping, so you went into action.

You dropped your bag on the ground, making your way towards him quickly. When you reached your hand out to touch him, he narrowed his eyes at you and stepped back, cheeks darkening further.

"Somethin' the matter, miss?"

You smile, body flushing at the way he draws out the formality.

"Oh, I just saw your headband was a little crooked. Wanted to fix it, was all."

He nods, giving you a once over before pushing it back up his forehead, turning to get a mat out.

"Oh I already did some workouts before I got here. Unless you wanna stretch me out some more. "

The wicked smile on your face doesn't go past Bakugou, his vermilion eyes widening as he steps back, grumbling under his breath as he turns back around, setting down two mats and sitting on one.

"We're doin' yoga. Noticed how yer' body was shakin' las' time so we're takin it easy t'day."

You give his strong back a dreamy smile.

Fuck, he's hot, healthy, and attentive? You could feels yourself start to swoon.

You make your way over to the other mat, sitting on your knees.

"M' gonna guide you through each pose, then we'll do em together, yeah?"

You let out a breathy "yeah" in response and watch as he rises to his feet, towering over you, before positioning himself behind you.

"Gonna touch you now."

Shit.

You feel a big, heavy hand gently land on the middle of your back, pushing you to rest on your elbows.

"Stand up, but keep yer' arms down f'me"

You raise your lower half into a standing position, arching your back forward. Bakugou goes to your front and squats, taking your hands and placing them in front of you so you're in downward dog position.

"Hold it there for 15 seconds."

You close your eyes and breath in, shuddering when you get a whiff of his musk, smoky and sweet.

"One"

"Two"

You peek open your eyes, looking up slightly to see him looking at his watch, counting the seconds down.

"Six"

"Seven"

You take the time to really admire him, his strong thighs, the way you can see freckles dotting the exposed skin, the way his shorts hug his waist, his top riding up on his abs and showing off a patch of hair trailing down..

"Thirteen"

"Fourteen"

You close your eyes at fifteen, pretending like you weren't just imagining ripping his shorts off with your teeth and running eager fingers through his blonde happy trail.

You're so caught up in your thoughts that you almost miss the way he runs his hand back down your spine, easing you down and murmuring a raspy,

"Good girl."

Before straightening up and walking over to the speakers.

Dazed, you watch as he puts on more relaxing music, walking back over to you.

"M' gonna try somethin' a little more difficult, kay? Let me know if ya start to ache."

Oh, you're already aching.

Aching for that di-

"Okay, I'll let you know."

He grunts in approval, twirling his finger for you to stand up.

He comes to your side this time, placing his hand back in the middle of your spine and bending you backwards slowly, humming when you reach your hands to brace yourself.

"Doin' such a good job fer me, yeah? Think ya can be a good girl and hold it fer 30 seconds?"

You almost audibly whimper.

"Mhm, I'll be so good Bakugou."

He starts counting, a deepness to his voice that wasn't there before, and you can feel your thighs begin to shake.

Bakugou can't take his eyes off of you, the way you bend so easily, taking his every word so nicely, eyes hazy and dazed and so so pretty.

The way your thighs shake makes him want to drop to his knees and sink his teeth into them. He wants to mark you up, leave bruises on your pretty ass and then kiss them better, eat out your sweet cunt and stuff you with his fingers when you get too loud.

He was raised with manners, though, and before he does any of that has taking your fine ass on a date.

"Thirty."

You breath out a shaky sigh, letting his hand guide you back down to the floor.

You look at the time, almost jumping in excitement when you realize your session is almost over. You need to get home now. Your panties are aboslutely drenched and you don't know how long you can go without saying something too bold.

Bakugou notices your excitement, raising a brow as he situates himself on his mat.

"Got smwhere to be, Miss?"

You flush, images of you with your hands between your legs and a certain blonde on your mind flashing through your head.

"Nope. Just wanna shower and eat my loneliness away."

He chuckles at that, sitting in lotus position.

"You have any plans?"

He looks up at you, studying your face for a bit, lips turning up slightly when you squirm.

"Nah. I got nuthin'."

You gulp, copying his position and fiddling with your fingers

"Well, uh. Do you wanna maybe.."

"Spit it out, angel, times runnin' out."

You bite your lip, the way he rasped the pet name had your head spinning.

"We could maybe get something to eat,, together? I can cook for you,, Like a date."

You're met with silence, and you feel embarrassment wash over you for a split second before you see a rough, veiny hand on front of you, then feel a warm palm on your face.

You look up and meet red eyes in searing eye contact, his lips curled in a smirk and cheeks dusted pink.

"A date, hm? I'd fuckin' love to Darlin'."

You squeal internally, missing his warmth when he pulls away to count to 30 once again.

♡♡

After stuffing yourself and Bakugou with some curry chicken, you invited him onto the balcony, sitting next to him on the swing seat.

You couldn't take your eyes off him the entire night. He was wearing a simple shirt and joggers, but the top hugged him so well and his sweats were low, riding up everytime he lifted something from the top shelf for you.

There a was a thick tension in the air. You wanted so badly to lean over and grab his jaw, to kiss him and make him groan, make him breathless with pleasure-

"Hey, ya listenin'? I asked ya a question."

You stratle, realizing you were staring at his face for too long.

"Sorry. I just wanted to kiss you- I mean,, fuck-"

Yeah, you shouldn't have drinking so much wine.

Bakugou’s eyebrows raise almost comically, eyes wide and lips pulling back in a grin, his handsome face inching closer to you until you can almost taste him.

"Ya wanna kiss me? Go 'head, I ain't stoppin' ya."

You immediately crash your lips against him, wasting no time in bringing your hand up to cradle his jaw, moaning when his big hand curls around your throat.

He tilts your head back, licking into your mouth and grabbing a thigh with his free hand, dragging you onto his lap. You roll your hips slowly, relishing in the groan it pulls from him.

He pulls away momentarily to suck at your bottom lip, biting down on it before kissing the stinging flesh.

He fiddles with the hem of your sun dress, gaze burning into you.

"Can I take this off, Darlin'?"

You pant above him, shivering at how sexy he sounded.

Damn, consent was hot.

"I don't know, can you?"

Your giggle is cut off by a moan when he flicks at your nipple through the dress, nipping at your collarbone.

"May I take this off, Brat?"

You whimper and nod, earning you another searing kiss before he pulls your dress up, watching your tits bounce out, taking a nopple into his mouth as his hand slides down.

He squeezes your doughy thighs in his hands, fingers pinching and kneading until he reaches your cunt.

You pray that he doesn't tease, you've been worked up for so long, and thankfully, he doesn't, slipping a finger into you and rubbing gently at your clit, picking up pace gradually and adding a second finger as you arch your back.

You pant and lean forward, hands lacing into his hair and hips grinding down onto his fingers. He groans into your nipple, moaning "harder" against you.

You comply, and he shudders, hips canting up to meet the downward roll of yours.

You feel your high creeping up on you, but you wanna feel him so bad, so you sluggishly push him away, earning you a confused grunt.

"Wanna cum on your cock."

Bakugou growls at that, lifting you up with one hand on your hip while the other pushes his sweats and boxers down, his thick cock springing free. You gape down at it, fat and veiny, flushed and dripping with pre as it twitches under your gaze.

His balls are fat too, heavy and round amd you just wanna take one in your mouth and suck till he creams from how good it feels.

Bakugou interrupts your staring with tap to your hips, slowly easing his way into you.

His thick mushrooms head pops in, and it burns so good. You feel like he's in your throat by the time he's all the way in, veins pulsing and dragging along your gooey walls. He leans his head back agasint the swing, mouth opening to pant as he move, feet digging into the ground and hips thrusting harshly into you.

His face is a dusty pink, eyes going crossed and drool starting to slide out of his mouth as he moans, hips picking up speed and fingers rubbing into your clit so good you almost collapse.

"Hah, yer so good, Darlin', fuck squeezin' me so good, gnna make me bussst"

"S'so close-"

"Mmh fuck, me too Angel. You wanna cum on my cock, Darlin? Cream all over me, make a mess of my balls and this cute little swing fuck fuck fuck- gnna bust baby, fill you up so fckin good."

You give a silent scream, arching your back and cumming hard, Bakugou following as he shoots thick ropes of cum into you, sliding down his base and pooling at his fat ball, still twitching.

"This is gnna be a bitch to clean up ain't it?"

@miggiisdumb @lady-bakuhoe

[lizandbo]

Periods w/mha bois

Ok i know the titlie sounds weird as hell, liek it sounds like they are having periods..but okXD obvi a fem reader:P

Bakugo

- this boy would be absolutely clueless

- he’s not the greatest when it comes to...womanly stuff?

- like, he’s a mf male

- he doesnt need to worry bout that shit

- butttt when he started dating you, you didnt tell him (if you did then...just PRETEND)

- you were having old swings left and right, its like how Rango from the movie... the mole part(ya know what I’m talking bout right?XD)

- but anyway, bakugo is goin be like “who tf cares about that shit? I’m not in charge of it nor the one dealing with it so its not my fucking problem

- meanie:(

- we been knew tho so;-;

- if you want to soothe yo cramps then this is the right place to go here, but he got to complain beCAUSE THATS WHO HE FUCKING IS

- rubbing in low heat and yes there is modes, low heat, medium ouchies, boom of death

- rubbing on your lower part of the stomach, heaven will be served tonight ig

- when you snap at him he’s gonna bark back like a mf dog *cough cough pomeranian*

- he’s secretly scared shitless that when you cuddle, your gonna have blood all over his clothes

- he’s clean ok

- when you have a weird ass craving, hell cook it for you, then when he sees that your stealing something from the fridge..some thing weird

- like he doesn’t even know the weirdest person likes that

- but hes pissed yes, but he cant help but stare at the fact that you like the fucked up snack?

- fucking cold pizza with vaniliia frosting

- bet he wanna puke rn but guess what your having th time of your life so fuck EVERYBODY ELSE

- hell say/yell that your a gross mf and hes cooking you something thats not that

- but ya set the thing down, watching him and pcik another seat next to you

- and then when he says go to his room and hell meet ya there, you picked up the plate that has cold pizza with vanillia frosting and sonic speed running down the hall way

- cue him running after you while your almost to his room<3 lovely time am i right?

Tenya

- hell literally read a book about it for you

- like…baby…. There is no books about periods

- maybe there is about the science about it, but it doesn’t help helping your damn s/o with the pain/mess or whatever your situation is

- he wants to learn about it! That’s a good start, right?

- but he really wants to know bout that, cuz he has just a brother so he doesnt really know what a period is

- so when you explain what all the possible things that could happen and the side effects, he’ll be kinda worried

- he’ll help you with the food, he cooks like a formal bitch he is

- does everything to the recipe no shit

- tries to make it more healthy

- “I’ve heard that water and exercise helps with period cramps?” - ”and is someone looking up stuff becuase they perhaps…loves me?”

- having a smirk on your face untill he says “of course I love you<3”

- not the reaction you want but ok

- makes you drink water if you already don’t

- buys a heating pad for sure, like anything for my baby

- cuddles all the way through the little heating pad session

- of course words of affirmatio, especially when your emotional than normal

- when you yelped in pain in one of the random moments while cuddling, but also he was trying to fix himself to be more comfortable

- so he thought That he hurt you, but it was really your jabbing cramps

- “it feels like a sea urchin spawned into my uterus and starting dancing plus mutliplyingggg”

- “was it me? I completely apologize about the inconvenience baby” - “no?” “Cramps”

- “ohh… well Im still sorry about the uncomfortableness“

- “but it wasn’t you-ok”

- you just snuggled closer reassuring him about the things that never even happened

Kirishima

- best boi right here

- ok, i know like he isnt the period professional or something

- but he will be when he gets to know what your periods are really like

- but he does like to cuddle with you and tell you its alright

- he will try to make that period simulator shit and see what you are going through

- makes you try drinking water too, but wont completely force yo

- if you have sensetive boobs at this time of month, he always will offer to massage them

- even tho they hurt it will ease out in the long run

- or try to avoid them all through the week + extra days they also hurt (if that makes sense idk)

- gives all the comfort food you want

- sometimes hand feed you some things, look he’s a sweetheart so he has to<3 in his checkbook

- its like having a cheerfull therapy dog/puppy all around while your having your period week

- if you take meds for the pain, I don’t know if hes your alarm to take the meds or your pain, but it’s pretty much your pain boyfriend

- gives you his comfy sweatshirts to warm ya up , + a hot drink that you like

- wraps you into a burrito, then kisses the tips of your nose and says your so cute being wrapped up by him

- hell soon will wraps himself in a blanket like a burrito too, and roll right next to you

- it really just looks like two cocoons laying next to each other:)

-ya both sleep together in that position(if ya can) or scramble your way out of the trap

- either one, your still having a fun time with kiribby<3

[gracieblood]

wait that looks fun hdhdhs

happy endings or sad endings - i’m emo enough as it is, leave me alone.

full moon or crescent moon - i don’t have an explanation for this idk what you want me to say-

sushi or burgers - i love both so it’s hard to pick but ultimately i’d go for sushi

listening or talking - shut up you twat it’s my turn to speak ✨

summer or winter - the beach my beloved <3

sea or mountains - it’s no contest really. the coast is my whole life and it’s weird to think of having that taken away from me

apartment or own house - i really want one of those penthouse apartment things like the one my cousin and his boyfriend have

autumn or spring - it’s always april on my blog but we also appreciate autumn. spring gives me hayfever.

loud music or quiet music - it’s never loud enough dhdhsjs

morning or evening - i don’t have to do shit in the evening i can lie in bed and watch taskmaster

sun or moon - to match my dazzling personality 😉

regrets or no regrets- i feel like this one is obvious

big city or small town - funny how i grew up in a small town and want to get out of here asap and the person i reblogged this from grew up in a city and hates that

walk or car ride - 100766574478%

day or night - green day.

love at first sight or slowly falling in love - i find it hard to believe that you can look at someone and instantly fall in love

showers or baths - love me a nice bath with some bubbles

coke or pepsi - PEPSI MAX MAXIMUM TASTE NO SUGAR INIT

cats or dogs - someone get me a cat

hot or cold - i prefer warm weather but i’d rather freeze to death than boil/burn to death although that wasn’t the question was it-

gold or silver - i wear mainly black and silver jewellery so yeah

texting or calling - please don’t call me :(

clowns or no clowns - i mean i don’t really have a problem with them-

sunny or rainy - as someone who used to be an ariana grande fan, RAINNN ONNNN MEE

long fics or ficlets - if you have any fic recommendations ever make sure they’re short or i won’t read them

white or black - they laugh at me not because i’m emo i just happen to also be an emo

rivers or lakes - lakes are just really fucking boring m8

sunset or sunrise - they look the same dont they? probably sunset though

movie or series - love me a good gay romance movie

dark or light - they still laugh at me and it’s still not because i’m emo i still just also happen to be emo

pizza or pasta - i love both and could never choose

classics or fanfic - not a big fanfic fan tbh

piercings or no piercings - yesyyesyesyesyesyesyes

bright or pastel - i just really like neon colours ig

yes or no - no you fucking twat

tagging @l393ndjean @mindblanknothoughts @imtooobsessedrn @a-mess-of-a-person and anyone else idk

I love doing these (x)

tagged by the lovely @queereldritch

happy endings or sad endings —> happy endings

full moon or crescent moon —> full moon

sushi rolls or burgers —> sushi

listening or talking —> listening, but I also talk a lot when it comes to people I’m comfortable with being around

summer or winter —> winter

the sea or the mountains —> mountains

apartment or own house —> own house

autumn or spring —> autumn

loud music or quiet music —> loud music

morning or evening —> evening

sun or moon —> moon

regrets or no regrets —> no regrets

big city or small town —> can I say both? depending on the circumstances

walk or car ride —> car ride

day or night —> night

love at first sight or slowly falling in love —> slowly falling in love

showers or baths —> baths

cola or pepsi —> cola

cats or dogs —> dogs (but I’m also a proud cat mom)

heat or cold —> cold

gold or silver —> gold

texting or calling —> texting

clowns or no clowns —> clowns (if you know, you know😉)

sunny or rainy —> rainy

long fics or ficlets —> long fics

white or black —> black

rivers or lakes —> lakes

sunsets or sunrises —> sunsets

movie or series —> this is hard because there’re so many shows that I’m addicted to but I guess movies, overall

dark or light —> dark

pizza or pasta —> pizza

classics or fanfiction —> depends. but I’ve certainly read fanfictions that are better than some classic literature

piercings or no piercings —> either is fine with me

bright or pastel —> pastel

yes or no —> depends

tagging beautiful people; @josephfakingquinn @josephandjamie @jcbbby @trekkitkat @sullxo @johnsimms @can-of-pringles @ohfallingdisco @foodiewithdahoodie @elhaspowers @vecnathegreat @creelsclocks @jensomniac @nebulousfishgills @thelostsisters @onesmainbitch (don’t feel pressured to do this if you were tagged, these are just for fun) everybody is welcome to join

[lxngbottom]

Mistakes That Last Forever. | N.L.

in which neville stumbles across... an “old friend”.

warnings: mentions of cheating, angst, pregnancy, slight trauma mentions (lmk if i missed any!)

i got inspired for this by an outsider imagine that i read like a really longgggg time ago... so enjoy this ig (AND YES THERE WILL BE A PART 2 TO THIS)

(PART 2)

—

neville’s whole life had been filled with regrets. they seeped into his skin, torturing his clouded mind on day to day basis. the trauma from the second war had left a mark on him, and even though he was now in the infamous herbology professor at hogwarts, he still didn’t feel as if he was living the life he had always wanted to. he didn’t feel successful, he didn’t feel... good about himself. and the main source of that?

you.

his biggest regret was losing you. hurting you. leaving you in such a needing time.

it had all started after the war. you two had been inseparable since 2nd year, as you were the one who had helped him down from the chandelier when he was tragically hung up by those pesky pixies. and ever since then, he was enamored with you. he was consumed by the mere thought of you. and, your feelings didn’t differ too much.

so, you two became official in your 4th year. you two were each other’s firsts for practically everything that could be a first. and, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. you were so in love with him, it tore you from the inside out.

but unfortunately, the war arrived. and, it took a huge toll on your relationship. it affected each bit of what you guys had built together. after the war had ended, you guys tried so hard to make it work. but, neville... it seemed as if he just... gave up.

you would never forget the day you came home from work to your shared apartment, and heard strange noises coming from your bedroom. you went up, deep down, already knowing what the noises were. and of course, when you opened the door, your worst nightmare had became a reality. and even worse?

you were pregnant.

neville knew this too, but, he felt as if he had spent so long being “stuck” in a relationship with you, he never got the chance to meet new people. and because of that, for the sake of your child, you left. because, he had left you first, and he had done something unforgivable. something that would leave you scarred, and something that would take hold of you for years.

but, now things were different for you. you were more than content with where your life was at right now. you had an amazing job as the journalist for the daily prophet, and you were damn good at it too. it was a collective agreement that you were definitely a step up from rita skeeter.

neville couldn’t disagree more, though. not that he didn’t think you were good at your job, he always thought that you were an amazing writer. but, he had to force himself to cancel his personal subscription to the daily prophet, as the simple mention of your name on the front page, or sometimes, maybe even your picture, broke his heart to see. some from guilt, but mostly, from just missing you.

just five years later, here you were. walking through a muggle hardware store, looking at all of the houseplants that surrounded the small garden.

“mummy, look!”

you whipped your head around, and smiled when you saw your small son, chubby just like neville used to be when he was young. you had always tried to disregard the fact that he looked exactly like his father, but it was difficult to. you loved your son, with everything you had in your body, but, he was a constant reminder of all the pain that had been caused.

“very nice, nev!” you giggled, watching as your son played with a single pink flower bouquet. he grinned at you, and suddenly plucked the fresh flower off of it’s stem. you gasped, and wanted your hand at him, “neville longbottom! we don’t do that! do you want to get in trouble?!”

his face contorted into a guilty one as he made those ridiculously adorable puppy dog eyes at you, “i’m sorry, mum... i-i-i didn’t know. i was trying to pick it for you...”

you couldn’t help but to feel a little guilty as he sadly dropped the broken off flower on the floor, watching as it blew away from the huge fan that hung above the both of you.

“it’s okay, dear. but, try not to pick them from the actual stems, okay? just... look on the floor. you’ll see a bunch of free flowers everywhere.” you teased, sending him a small smile. he looked up at you, and those sad puppy dog eyes quickly sparkled with excitement as he ran away, looking around the garden for those small, long forgotten flowers.

you chuckled quietly to yourself as you watched your son, seeing how his eyes glowed from all of the plants.

yeah. he was definitely neville’s son.

you turned your body back around, attempting to continue your shopping. but, your body then collided with another, causing you to come to a complete halt.

“oh, merlin! i’m so—“ you were just about to spurt out multiple apologies, until, you looked at the figure.

there he was. tall, muscular, and a intent gaze fixated on his face as he stared at you.

“n—neville?”

he was so shocked. he couldn’t even let out a single mutter. you were right there. right in front of him. after not seeing you for so long, but thinking about you always, you were finally right here.

“y/n...” he breathed out finally, trying to not show how incredibly nervous he was.

this was the first time you two had seen each other since the day you packed all of your things, and left him standing alone at the door step that once belonged to the both of you. he could never seem to part with the apartment, the whole environment still leaving trails of you. so, of course, he still resided there during his off times.

“um—wow... shit—i’m sorry. you know... for bumping into you...” he laughed nervously, stepping away from you. you gave him a nervous chuckle as well, trying to hide the redness that was now blending within your skin.

“oh—it’s alright. i should’ve—you know... been watching where i was going...”

neville opened his mouth to respond, as he wanted to ask you so many things. but, he was interrupted by a small child running up to you, tears streaming down his face as he clutched onto your leg.

“mum...” he sniffled out, and you looked down with a concerned look on your face, “t-t-the lady yelled at me...i-i-i accidentally b-broke one of the f-f-flowers...”

neville knew those eyes. he knew that familiar stutter. he knew those tears. it was like practically looking into a mirror.

that was his son.

you looked over at neville nervously, seeing realization flashing in his green orbs. but, you bent down to neville jr, who was an absolute mess. he never took kindly to people getting onto him, especially if they were yelling.

“oh... it’s alright, nev. we have a whole garden at home that we can grow flowers in...” you reassured him, wiping his small tears. he nestled into your touch, “why don’t you go and pick out some seeds? any kind you like... i’ll get them for you.”

there was a shy smile on his face as you said that, and he looked over at the strange man that stood baffled beside you.

“okay...” he sniffled, wiping his nose, “but... who’s that?” he asked, pointing to neville.

you had never told your son about his father, and you had hoped that he never would. but, you knew the day would come. you just didn’t think that day would be today.

“an old friend, darling. now, do as i say and go find some flowers, alright?”

your son nodded, reluctantly leaving you with the tall man that he had no idea the identity of. you stood up fully awkwardly, and looked over at neville who’s face was now angry.

he watched as the boy ran off, “he doesn’t know who i am?” he asked through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing at you.

you looked back at him, “nev—“

“no... how could you not tell him? that’s my son, y/n. you—you told me you were putting the baby in adoption... how could you lie to me? and him? why would you do that?”

you knew you owed the man an explanation, but all at the same time, he had brought this upon himself. and yeah, maybe it was fucked up that you had lied to him, but, you genuinely did believe at the time you were getting rid of the baby.

“neville... not here. please...”

“no, y/n. you owe me a goddamn explanation. i mean... this is my fucking child we’re talking about. look at him! he looks just like me!”

you looked over at the chubby boy, watching him closely as he skimmed through seeds, staring at the images on the front.

“don’t you think i know that, neville?” you whispered, “listen... we can talk about this. but, not here. and, not while he’s around...”

“no! i want to talk to him! i deserve it—goddamn it, y/n! how could you fucking do this to me?!”

“and how could you cheat on me?! after everything we went through together! you fucking left me in the dust!”

he could see the pain in your eyes. there was obviously still a lot of hurt, so much rage pent up from the whole scenario. of course you had never fully gotten over it. it was still something you thought about on a daily basis, as you had believed at one point that you would be married to neville by now.

“y/n...” neville started, stepping closer to you, “i—i never meant to hurt you...”

you stared into his eyes for a moment, trying to find some sort of other answer other than that stupid apology you had heard so many times before.

“it doesn’t matter, longbottom. i have to go. we can talk about this whole thing another time. goodbye.”

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Thanks for the Doritos!

Pairing: Klaine | Rating: T | Words: 1,410 | Tropes/Genres: BabBoy!Blaine, humor, friends to lovers, crime

Summary: Kurt and BadBoy!Blaine try to lift some chips from the local convenience store. Things don't go exactly as planned.

A/N: did i proofred this? no <3 i was anxious about my first day back at work and wrote this instead sorry not sorry Based on this this batshit tumblr post that gives me ALL the serotonin warnings for a non-canon character holding a gun and crime ig

Continue Reading Below or Read on AO3

“This is stupid. It’s not gonna work.”

“How would you know? We haven’t even tried it.”

“I feel like there’s a better way to satiate your case of the munchies than shoplifting from a Seven-Eleven.”

“The clerk gets paid the same whether or not the bastard CEOs of the company lose a couple of bucks. Unless you’ve magically conjured up a wad of cash?”

“You know I haven’t.” Kurt almost growls. Blaine doesn’t mean it that way, but they’ve had enough conversations about Burt’s medical bills that he should know tight money is a sensitive topic for Kurt. The defensive fire in his belly dies down a little when Blaine reaches out to squeeze his hand—his free one holding his trusty skateboard—reminding Kurt he’s not alone in his suffering.

Until meeting Blaine, Kurt would spend his afternoons at home, with nothing except reruns of Golden Girls to keep him company while he prepared his dad’s dinner.

And then one cold October afternoon, while Kurt was hiding from Karofsky and Azimio under the bleacher, he nearly tripped over a mass of black clothing. The bundle of black subsequently sat up, revealing a head of unkempt curls and a disgruntled snarl that softened into a smirk upon seeing Kurt’s face.

He offered Kurt a cigarette, his hand, and his name.

Ever since then, Blaine has shown Kurt in numerous ways that you don’t need to do anything to have a good time. All you need is a roof, the night, and two people who, for some reason neither can quite explain, care about each other.

“Don’t act so high and mighty, Hummel. We both know you’re no stranger to theft.”

“I’ve never stolen a thing in my life!”

Blaine looks over and makes a dramatic pouty face, complete with pleading puppy-dog eyes that make Kurt’s knees too weak for his liking. “Tell that to my weeping heart. I’m still picking up the pieces from you refusing my several offers of marriage.”

Kurt’s face burns red and he huffs, yanking his hand away. Blaine always does this. Ruins the moment with some dramatic, over-the-top fake flirting, as if he doesn’t know what he looks like—as if he doesn’t know Kurt’s head over heels for one of McKinley High’s most notorious bad boys. For God’s sake, he’s about to commit a misdemeanor just to get him a couple of bugles. Of course he’s in love with Blaine.

“Shut up before I change my mind.”

“As you wish.”

Kurt walks in first, gives a friendly smile and half-wave to the cashier before heading to the chip aisle. He loiters there for a minute or two before Blaine walks in, heading straight to the counter where he’ll pretend to be looking for a specific cigarette brand he can’t remember the name of.

The second the clerk has his back turned, Kurt ducks to the ground and rips open his backpack, quickly and quietly throwing an assortment of chips in, only pausing when he grabs a bag of Doritos. A smile cracks his face; they’re Blaine’s favorite.

He’s so preoccupied with putting extra ones in there, that he doesn’t even hear the ding from the bell of the front door.

The way Blaine will tell the story to Kurt later that night—and to others for years to come—he’ll say that the first thing he saw was the barrel of a shotgun sticking up above the stand of newspapers by the entrance, and that’s all it took for him to rush to Kurt’s side.

Kurt’s zipping up the backpack when there’s a familiar hand on his shoulder, and Blaine’s panicked face in front of his.

“Guy with a gun just walked in,” he exhales in a terrified breath.

Kurt’s eyes go wide as dinner plates, and although the shouting he can hear coming from the front of the store confirms it, he still can’t believe it. “There’s—what!?” he whisper-shouts. Almost instinctively, he tries to stand up to look over the aisle, but Blaine drags him back down.

“Get down!”

“Oh fuck,” Kurt cries, adrenaline spiking when he hears the robber’s angry shouts of curse words and demands of money. “We have to do something.”

Blaine nods, and his immediate agreement makes Kurt fall that much more in love with this idiot. “He can’t see us here. I’ll stay here, you go to the next aisle over. I’ll create a distraction, and I need you to—god, Kurt, if anything happens to you,” he places a tan hand in Kurt’s pale face, and the warmth makes Kurt gasp, “I need you to leave okay? Don’t you dare wait for me. Call the cops when you’re out.”

“But I—”

“Call the cops.”

There’s no time to argue, so Kurt just nods and hurriedly crouches his way to the right, until he’s in the aisle out of the robber’s eye line, but can still see him.

A second later, he hears Blaine’s skateboard collide with the metal of the counter and figures that’s his cue to run.

Now’s his chance to run straight out of the convenience store, like Blaine told him to. Like he most certainly should… but the robber’s turning towards the chip aisle, where Blaine is. The robber is turning to the chip aisle where Blaine is and has a fucking gun, and after months of overthinking this thing he has with Blaine—a friendship, but also implicitly more—Kurt doesn’t think at all.

With the robber’s back to him, Kurt breaks out into a sprint and tackles the lanky man to the floor.

Kick knacks, candies, and various other impulse buy items go flying as Kurt messily pins the disoriented thief to the floor in front of a large metal stand full of cookies.

Blaine comes from the other side, seemingly out of nowhere and frozen momentarily in shock. Through magic, some sort of telepathic bond, or sheer luck, he manages to read Kurt’s mind and as soon as Kurt scrambles off the man, heaves the metal stand on top of the assailant.

They share a wide-eyed look of panic, an unspoken agreement, before bolting out.

Blaine hops over the groaning robber to the previous aisle, to pick up his skateboard. Meanwhile, Kurt’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head as he locates the rifle, still alarmingly close to the robber’s hand.

It won’t even register until about an hour later that holy fucking shit he was holding a loaded gun, but for now he grabs it and runs towards the door, shoving it into the clerk’s hands before lining up with Blaine, skateboard and backpack in hand.

The clerk looks at them with equal parts shock and gratitude, before turning the rifle on the robber to ensure he doesn’t try to escape.

As the two boys race out the door, Kurt tosses out a “Thanks for the Doritos!” to the clerk.

They don’t stop running for a solid minute, but when they do Kurt’s hamstrings are burning and his lungs are on fire, throat sore from breathing in the cold air too quickly.

Hands on his knees and still panting, he looks at Blaine. “Oh, my god.”

Blaine looks up at him from a similar position, breaking out into a wide, beaming grin that morphs into a fit of laughter. “We just did that.”

“That was reckless,” Kurt says, astonished for a moment before joining Blaine in his laughter.

Laughter slowly dying down into chuckles, Blaine stands up straight and cups Kurt’s cheeks in his palms.

“I love you,” he says breathlessly, hints of laughter still lighting up his voice.

Before Kurt can throw his eyes back into his skull—because Blaine always says he loves Kurt, as a friend, of course—Blaine’s lips are on his, warm and solid against the cool autumn air and taking what little breath Kurt has away.

He’s a little more than speechless when they finally break apart. Blaine isn’t.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

“I… w-wait, so… this whole time… you weren’t fake flirting with me?”

“I mean, I might’ve been a little too playful with it, but I was hoping eventually you’d take the hint.”

“I… don’t do well with hints.”

“Alright, no more hints. In that case, can I just kiss you again?”

Kurt barely restrains a hiccuped little laugh. “You, Blaine Anderson, can kiss me anytime you’d like.”

And from that day on, he does.

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it’s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.

[dangankingdom]

->Gundham, Souda, and Hajime with a tall S/O

Tw// cursing bc I curse all the time, half asleep while writing this, possible angst? Check OG ask for context ig- I’m gonna get some sleep and hope the mods don’t yell at me aha mwa mwa

Extra// oh to be taller, sighs in 5”8

Masterlist

original ask

Gundham

5”9 ass 🙄

I would’ve imagined him to be taller but whatever,

He dead ass likes your height??

Have fun living hamster toy. You can’t tell me the devas don’t use you as a lookout.

Goodbye,

You do that dumb tall person move where they use everyone below them as an armrest

I do that every chance I get

He doesn’t mind,

Hugs where he has to slightly stand on his toes and you bend down a little, strangely posed kithes, that stereotypical “I can’t reach this-“ crap like that. He’s fine with it. he can reach,, by the way-

As you can see, he can somewhat take small things that involve the height difference.

But when your ass picks him up—

Set the scene shawty

There you are, hanging out with Gundham at a park with the Devas like that good hamster parent you are, and you see from the corner of your eye,,

Some random person just trying to flirt with ya boy,, as If you two weren’t couple gold or smth. After a second of offense and annoyance you shuffle your ass over there, standing behind gundham and staring straight at them.

One second of uncomfy eye contact later, right before the said person was going to make the stereotypical but I must admit valid question of “who are you and what is your problem?”

✨swoosh✨ Picked his ass up and left-,,, left with the Devas of course

“Release me, Mortal!” how embarrassing 😳

Was he thankful? Yea ofc, I mean you did save him from an uncomfortable situation -

But was he just as embarrassed? Of course he is-

Kazuichi

5”7 shawty😳

I got an inch on him 🧍 i can beat him in a fight dead ass

Kazuichi does take a little offense at first,,,

I mean yeah he knows you can’t control your height but dayum,

He just wasn’t to be tall—

He gets used to it, honestly likes it.

“Yeah, that’s my S/O, 6” whatever!”

He’s like, he’s like a dog-

Really likes affection

Like please use him as an armrest, he likes leaning against you as if you were a tree.

He does get a little embarrassed when you grab shit for him, like he can reach it but you still grab it?

Height difference smooches hit different,,

God and cuddles, how Kazuichi loves cuddles man — simps

Ahem- anyways onto the confrontations *smork*

You and Kazuichi, vibing like usual- you leave for a split second to toss some trash like a Good Samaritan, what an icon,,,

Anyways, once you leave some chick comes over, beelining straight to Souda with a smile-

Flirting her ass off, Kazuichi visibly uncomfortable.

Right before he was about to be the bigger person and say that he was already in a relationship, you were already about to sweep him off his feet once again—

Expect this one wasn’t romantic and more literally.

He is quite thankful,

Didn’t need to talk to anyone, just got scooped up and dragged away-

He thanks you with hugs and super rad compliments,,

Not to brag or anything but, he does brag about how cool you are 🧍

“Yeah and that’s how S/O saved my life :cool kid emoji:”

Hajime

5”8 bestie 😤

Omg twins

Out of all of the boys,,

Hajime takes this shit personally-

Or that's how he asks atleast

A simple behind-the-back hug where you rest your head on his? Annoyed

Hajimes as your arm rest? Annoyed

Anything to do with his height compared to you? Annoyed bestie.

And it’s not like he’s mad at you,, he isn’t I mean he loves you dearly-

Him being flustered just comes off as angry and or annoyed,,

Feels like he’s being teased even though you didn’t mean for it to come off like that-

So you don’t make the height difference a big deal most of the time!

Most of the time?

Certain occasions call for certain uses of your height,

What occasions you may ask?

Well Yknow

Like saving him in the face of a possible threat like the all-powerful being you are 😤

I mean grabbing him and leading him away from another person overstepping their boundaries-

You were honestly just trying to do your usual couple casual bonding and with you standing right there, some dude comes up flirting with Hajime-

Your ass may be tall but you’re invisible ig-

You tried to be like “hey bestie were kinda busy rn” but his ass didn’t care

So you just slowly grabbed Hajime and snatched him away-

I like to imagine that you toss him on your shoulder like a potato sack and run,

But that’s just my brain-

My sad sad fanfic writing brain

And yes,

He was flustered 😩

Yes this is shit- but I’m tired and we’re 5 away from 300 so *panicky rushes headcannons*

-Ruma

[onlyhereforangst]

*if you enjoyed this week’s NCIS episode do not continue reading, scroll right on past this post*

ok WHERE TO START.

Maybe with the fact that NCIS quite literally would not have been called to that accident. Literally, no reason. They have zero jurisdiction. Just like they have ZERO jurisdiction when Gibbs actually trespasses. Y’all he trespassed. There was no probable cause no nothing, no reason for him to be on that property. So like in all of this, they should have never been in this situation so thanks for making *that* believable, writers.

Oh and then let’s get into a particularly fun part. God damn CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL, PLEASE. I’m not sure if they got a *single* vet-related topic right. Scratch that, they defined a term correctly so whoop-de-fucking-do they know what a dictionary is, congratulations. Let’s run down the list of the mistakes shall we? First, a dog with a gunshot wound in the chest is hiiiiighly unlikely to survive let alone run across the street, casually not be in shock and sit up completely alert as a person walks up, and make it out of surgery/hospitalization less than one day later. That’s cute. AND I’m sorry but pericardiocentesis? Yes you defined the procedure correctly, gold star for you, but you WOULD NEVER NEED THIS WITH A GUN SHOT WOUND. This happens most commonly from cancer, heart failure, or *maybe* hit by a car trauma. But there is nothing that makes a gunshot wound to the far end of the chest result in blood around the heart. Blood in the lungs? Now we’re talking. But blood in the pericardial sac? Oh honey, no. Just no. There were other big words you could’ve put there, so many others. And then good god the bandage job, HAH. Catch me laughing my ass off at the hilariously horrific job of bandaging. Not even close to right and imma just leave it at that. ITS ON THE DAMN ABDOMEN INSTEAD OF THE THORAX WHERE SHE GOT SHOT PLUS ITS INCORRECTLY WRAPPED PLUS WHERE IS HER CHEST TUBE FOR HER HEMOTHORAX SHE SHOULD HAVE OKAY WHERE IS IT. and then moving on to our lovely “hair loss” like Kasie, the writing crew, everyone- those are scars. From being a bait dog. Every single dog you see there looked like a textbook bait dog. That “hair loss” is not from some damn pool chemical and you trying to sell me on that one is a crying shame, NCIS. Plus Jesus can we get a real hair pluck? You ain’t gonna get a damn thing with those forceps, get me some sterile hemostats, stat. Aaaand finally, I’ll wrap this up: PREDNISONE AINT GONNA GET YOU BUILT BRO. It’s not gonna get your dog built and it’s not gonna get you to lose weight. Prednisone is a catabolic steroid aka it breaks things down. Things like muscle mass that apparently these dogs are taking to fight. And surprise it makes dogs & humans gain weight. Another lovely fact it does not give dogs roid rage so don’t try and sell me on that shit either, writers. You picked two literal opposite steroids to list off, one being so unbearably wrong it should be hysterical but it’s just an embarrassing show of lack of research.

Ahhh now to my favorite part. The blatant and disgusting police br*tality of it all. At attempt at masking this by claiming its “for the dogs” is pathetic and the problem. If you try and tell me that the shit they just pulled on the show is “ok” because the dude was abusing and killing dogs, that is the problem. That’s exactly how people rationalize systemic racism in case you were wondering. But I digress. Never, NEVER was this an okay script to air, let alone after the events of Summer of 2020. Tone-deaf and despicable, frankly. First we have the act of police br*tality made to seem ok because he was the suspect right? He was the guy? Yeah but newsflash: innocent until proven guilty and not by your fucking fists. Second we have a deliberate cover-up. Good lord you all think it’s not only okay to lie but then are mad you put you in that situation??? And the IG who’s investigating a legitimate case of br*tality is a villain??? And the director of NCIS is trying to help stall??? And then you’re MAD A BODY CAM CAUGHT IT ON FILM LIKE IT DIDNT DO EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD FUCKING DO????? Are you JOKING. This was the shittiest of shit tastes I’ve seen on this show. And if the point was to highlight the “bad” of police br*tality by god they fucked that up. Instead we get a happy, new dog-owner agent who’s only casually suspended because everyone and their brother decided it was okay to cover up a legitimate crime (no I don’t give a fuck that he did end up being the killer and yes I love animals. If you haven’t caught on I’m a damn veterinarian who took an oath to protect animal welfare & prevent and relieve animal suffering. I have personally seen and treated cases of neglect and recovering abused bait dogs. I’ve seen this shit first hand, daily for years and no I do not condone beating a man to a pulp- or death if Gibbs had gotten his way- over it. Do they deserve proper punishment? Absolutely. But I am not the judge, jury & executioner and I thought we fucking learned that on this show). So yeah, this blatant police br*tality and the entire way it was handled on this episode fills my mouth with bile. Trying to lessen it & “make it better” because of dogs is pathetic.

Sincerely, I hope this episode was attempting to poke holes in a messed up system. They missed the mark by a damn mile, but I hope that was the point. Because if it wasn’t, this shit should’ve been trashed the moment they shuttered the doors on season 17. It never needed to come to light and rear its ugly face.

Also, if you don’t like my rage post- great, you don’t have to. I’ve loved this show for 18 years and I will continue to enjoy it, but I am allowed to be critical of shit writing and if you try and debate me on this, it won’t be pretty. I’ll keep my opinions and you can keep yours.

[doodleybugg]

get to know your followers

Hair care routine + brief description of your hair uh, i shaved it in november so really i just need to wash it

Skincare routine wash in the morning, cover with makeup, fall asleep without washing it again

Full set pajamas, random mismatched comfy clothes, underwear or nothing? sweats and a sports bra are my go to’s

Morning routine (wake up time, breakfast, ya know that shit) wake up, stay in bed for another two hours because it’s literally 4am, fix my makeup and get dressed, take meds

Favorite and least favorite drink fav: milk tea or vanilla coke, least fav: uhhjm beer definitely, it tastes bAD

Favorite and least favorite dish fav: spaghetti (but only the bow-tie noodles, or i refuse to eat it. idk why, either, i just cannot stand the way it feels unless it’s that), least fav: brussel sprouts

Favorite and least favorite dessert fav: french vanilla ice cream or possibly ice cream cake from dairy queen, least fav: pie

Comfort food takis, i have a whole thing with them even though i can’t eat spicy foods :((

Top 3 childhood shows/cartoons icarly, clifford the big red dog, spongebob

Top 3 teen shows/cartoons uh same as current

Top 3 current shows/cartoons umbrella academy, one day at a time, brooklyn 99

Top 3 favorite movies harry potter and the prizoner of azkaban, brave, encanto

Comfort book/books, comics, manga, ya know the lie tree, facelift game, kakegurui (midari’s version though lolz)

Favorite snack of all time ramen

Pets one tabby cat named steve (her real name is evie but :/) and one ragdoll-persian mix named addi

Comfort character of all time remus mf lupin

Most recent achievement (I’m proud of ya!) i ate today!!! had some mcd french fries and a vanilla milkshake after i went to the dentist but both sides of my mouth were frozen so i didn’t really get to eat too much ://

Fashion/clothing trend style uh idk i just wear what i find first

Hobbies writing

Pick a martial art and a sport (you find interesting, would love to learn, already practice, whatever just pick) jshfsdjfk no

Pick a music instrument (you find interesting, would love to learn, already practice, whatever just pick) i used to play the euphonium in band

Perfume/cologne (doesn’t matter if you don’t wear it, just pick one you like) vanilla cherry (which is my bodywash but it works)

What do you do on your leisure days? eh mostly sleep or cry

Tell me a bit about your all time hero/heroine hmmmmmmm

Earphones, headphones or wireless ones? headphones

Top 5 current songs perfect doesn’t last by beth crowley, gambling addiction / eleven elevens by leanna firestone, diet coke by leanna firestone, disenchanted by my chemical romance, bruises and bitemarks by good with grenades

Pick a hero/heroine from Marvel and DC (BECAUSE I WANT YA TO OK???!!?) scarlet witch, liv moore

Where would you like to live? a pretty lil cottage

Favorite food from your culture? i’m the whitest piece of shit ever so uh wonder bread?

Favorite tradition from your culture? hkdjhskjf

Language you would like to learn? french

Where would you travel for vacation? hm idk

What’s your safety place like? nonexistant

Are you working, studying, both, time traveling while fighting demons? studying

Lucky charm a safety pin my ex gf gave me a couple years ago

Latest thing you purchased online? hufflepuff tie

Guilty pleasure? fanfic

Are you physically active? What do you do? i run around the block a couple times ig

Dream job author

Favorite videogame minecraft or sims 4

Perfect hang out with friends *inhales* WHAT ARE THOSSEEEE

Tell me something about yourself (it can be anything lol) i make HEAVNLY grilled cheese

Would you date someone you met online after getting to know them for long enough to genuinely start something serious? uhm depends