#not me and I plan to keep it that way for my own sanity :)

[j00d]

Such a cozy feel to this writing. I'll have to save this tab for later, huehuehue~

I started kicking around the idea of a strip club AU loosely based on a manhwa I used to read. Not much planned, and still rough, but this is what I wrote so far:

“Excuse me, could you tell me where I might find–” “So sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but can you hel–” “Is this the way to–” Alone and shivering on a bustling street corner in the heart of Lust stood a rather peculiar demon asking even more peculiar questions. He towered over the plethora of succubi and imps dashing here and there, and while some paid him a curious glance, they feigned deaf as soon as he spoke. He sighed, withering like a plant in real-time as he hunched over to hug himself. Was it so odd as to ask strangers for directions? Isn’t that how he’d seen it on screen? So why now, why was it so different now? Furrowed eyebrows continued to crease his forehead with every passing second. He had a deadline to make and he could not be late. Not with what was at stake. The bills he had just only begun to figure out how to pay were piling up in the dank, dreary one-bedroom he scrambled to afford. The landlord had been tolerant of his… alternative payment methods since moving in some months previous, but he knew he’d only be pushing his luck by asking for more time. Money, in the end, was all that made this world go ‘round. Just thinking about his circumstances made him grind his beak. None of it was fair. Nothing about it was. Punished for simply wanting to live his life? To be stripped of everything in a blink of an eye, forced onto the streets, resort to degrading methods just to get by, banished without so much as a goodbye to– He nipped at his bottom lip just then, as if his own body wanted to keep him from spiraling again. The steady stream of warm iron in his mouth helped to ground his thoughts back to this shitty street corner. Regardless of the circumstances that led him here, it didn’t matter. What mattered was surviving long enough to figure out how to dig himself out of this hole he’d been thrown in. Even if it meant losing his sanity, dignity, or even autonomy in the process, he’d do it. If it was for her, he’d do it. He always would. It was then, amidst his internal quarrel that the bird felt the sharp poke of reality pull him back in. Apparently, it came in the form of a white-tipped claw. “You Stolas?” its owner called while shoving his hand back into his leather jacket pocket. Stolas just stood there with all four eyes blown wide as he gazed down at his assailant. Normally, words would flow naturally to the bookish bird, even when anxiety weighed heavy on his tongue. However, a new, unfamiliar weight was there instead, keeping him from making a sound despite trying to several times. He must’ve looked like a puppet whose ventriloquist caught laryngitis. “Christ on a stick,” the imp cut in with a harsh tsk. “It’s a simple yes or no, dumbass. Are you Stolas or not? I got better places to be than wasting my ass on–” “Y-Yes,” Stolas confirmed with a mechanical nod. “I am.” “Could’ve just said so the first time… Listen, I was tol– Wait, ya got a light on ya by any chance?”

Another Wednesday, another snippet of chapter 6 of my tattoo shop AU! ✨ Thank you @fuzzandfeathers and @stolitzsings for the tag!

He pushed the curtains open and grimaced at the street below. The weather was still grey and honestly kinda shit, even if it’d at least stopped raining. 

The view was much nicer once he turned around, with a ruffled, flushed Stolas sitting on the edge of his bed and blinking expectantly up at him.

“Hey.” Blitz smiled, and took Stolas’ hands in his, unlacing his long fingers that betrayed he’d been fidgeting. “You up for some breakfast, handsome? I could make pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs on toast… I got coffee and milk… I think there’s tea in the pantry somewhere, but it might be a few weeks or years past its use-by date.”

Just as he’d hoped, Stolas’ perplexity melted into a warm smile. The crinkles it revealed in his eyes made Blitz’s heart gallop.

“Waffles would be lovely,” Stolas murmured, “i-if they’re not too much trouble to make.”

“Eh, I make ‘em for me and Loona all the time.” Blitz tugged at Stolas gently, helping him stand, and craned his neck up. “Christ, we’ve been horizontal for so long I forgot how fucking tall you are.” 

Stolas snickered, still holding his hand as they walked out of the room.

Blitz gave his hand a light squeeze. “So, d’you want coffee?” 

“Oh, um. Waffles are more than enough, thank you. I—I wouldn’t want to abuse your generosity.”

Blitz’s eyebrows shot up. Jeez, one would think putting your fingers inside a guy’s ass would deprogram his need to be constantly polite. He’d have to try with his tongue next time.

I don't know who has and hasn't been tagged, so consider yourself tagged if you're reading this and wanna participate! ❤️

[nny11writes]

For the violence ask game, 23 2 21 for spop fandoms but also any star wars commentary you want to throw in would be cool!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

I actually had to give this some thought because I am part of ship and let ship, and one of my favorite parts of She Ra is how easily and compellingly you can multiship in it. As long as you ignore the fandom that is.

The extremely limited things I've come around on were primarily willingly because I wanted to understand why people liked it.

But, uh..........well, the one and only one I got dragged around into is........................

There's no easy way to say this, but it's Glimmer and Catra.

Which is fucking WILD considering I participated in the first Glitra week in 2019. BUT! Keep in mind that Season 2 didn't come out until April 2019 and between S1 and S2 I actively avoided Glimmer as my least favorite character due mostly to fandom assassination. But yeah I did not like her so I did not get all the C/A/G fics that were out there. There were no fics or art I saw before S2 dropped that were glitra only, so it was introduction via an OT3. I kept hearing good things about Rage Break by Emberswitch (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227490) and eventually caved to read it, and that was what got me turned towards the idea of Glimmer and Catra as a ship. I hadn't intended to and I hadn't been actively looking to change that opinion, but the hype on the fic eventually did make me go, "Well...what if there is something there though? Maybe I'll take a little peak. For science."

And then somehow I've posted 19 glitra fics and my longest fic ever is HtQY. :|

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

A compelling argument? Meeeeeeehhhhhh-

But, I do actually headcanon Catra as demiromantic and somewhere on the asexual sliding scale so when I think of canon Catra I think of someone who flirts because she's learned how to do so as a manipulation tactic (both for protection and power), so she comes off as a lot more sexually motivated than she really is. So I don't think my fave would top or bottom because I don't think she's into sex at all. If she has it, she does it more to please her partner so it's a performative act that can be enjoyable but not something she personally is into. If she gets turned on she'd rather rub one out on her own thanks.

Like I said, compelling? Probably not. Is someone still going to be annoyed or angry that I personally headcanon Catra in the show as being aroace but still a lesbian with a powerful and loving relationship? Yeah. People still fucking hate asexuals and aromantics, and I'm sure someone thinks I'm a lesbophobe for it lol.

So I think I'm still choosing violence here.

Especially because the complimentary side to this is canon Adora is not a top. She might enjoy pleasing her partners but you really think the person who has taken multiple gold medals in overthinking something so hard that you turn it into a disaster and your own worst nightmare wants to take charge during something as strange, vulnerable, gross, amazing, and complex as sex????

Miss me with that shit.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Catradora is canon gets overhyped. Like, sorry folks, I love them and was glad to see them be recognized in canon very explicitly at the end and have seen them be obviously a thing but through more subtext and interpretation before then. But catradora itself is overhyped.

Like, I can't remember who it is (you? Tispy? someone else??????) who straight up didn't watch the show for a long time because catradora focus was so intense that it was off putting.

If part of the canon is so intensely hyped or pushed that it's off putting....like.....c'mon

[chleem]

Mistletoe

One shot: bf drew starkey x gf yn

Summary: In which your secret relationship with drew gets exposed due to a quick kiss beneath the mistletoe.

Genre: fluff (making out wdrew)

⋆.˚ please dont copy or translate my work!

♡⸝⸝ happy xmas! | halloween | mr & mrs starkey

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You thought no one would say yes to a Home Alone marathon, but here you were—with seven friends huddled on your couch the week before Christmas.

You were prepared for rejection from them; watching the entire trilogy alone - well, not alone. With Drew, of course. 

Your boyfriend, of three months. Secret boyfriend. 

No one knew about you and Drew. And you both planned to keep it that way. The moment anyone found out, the teasing would be relentless. The questions would come. And honestly? You weren’t ready for that invasion of privacy.

It was easier this way. Just the two of you. Even if Drew was laughing along with everyone else, sitting across the room, his gaze on you would linger longer in a way only the two of you understood. 

What did Taylor Swift once say? Romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours. 

Maybe, the best thing she’s ever written. 

You stand up from your seat, carrying your empty cup. You needed a refill of hot chocolate, the only thing (other than Drew) that’s keeping your sanity alive in this cold weather. 

When you walk past where Drew’s sitting, the heavy weight of his stares makes your heartbeat uncontrollably speed up. 

Entering your kitchen, you immediately reheat the milk using the coffee machine, then pouring a bag of the instant chocolate powder into your cup. 

It feels like hours has passed waiting for the coffee machine to stop. 

Luckily, you weren’t alone while waiting. 

Before you can even react, arms snake around your waist, caging you between his body and the kitchen counter. His chest presses lightly against your back, and the warmth of his body sends a shiver down your spine.

Your heart already knows who it is: Drew. 

“Hey you,” he murmurs, voice low and teasing. 

He kisses your temple, and you sneak a look past his shoulder. The kitchen had a wall separating itself from the living room; but you could never be sure. 

“No one saw me,” he says, reading your thoughts. You look into his mischievous blue eyes with your skeptical ones, trying to suppress your smile. 

“Well, you can’t just sneak up on me like that,” you say, leaning into his touch. Without thinking, you let your nose drift near his neck; because why not? 

And as expected, he smells nice. 

“Mhm,” he’s never going to stop sneaking up on you. Drew’s eyes avert themselves down to your lips, before licking his own. “When are they going to leave?” 

“You know what a movie marathon means, right?”

Your words causes Drew to frustratedly groan, and throw his head back dramatically. You laugh at his reaction, finding it cute. “And we’re only on the second one…” 

“Patience, baby, okay?” You coo at him, a smile appearing on your face. 

You reach for the hot milk, pouring it carefully into your cup. As you finish, Drew’s hand moves up, effortlessly reaching the cupboard above you. Without a word, he pulls down the jar of marshmallows and hands it to you, his fingers brushing against yours. 

“We should just send them all home,” he whispers in your ear, seductively and annoyingly so, knowing that no one’s in here but the both of you. 

You send him a glare, shaking your head at him. “You mean I should send them all home. No.” 

You try to step away, cup of hot chocolate in hand, but before you can make it to the door, Drew pulls you back toward him again. His grip tightens around your waist, his hands feeling like they've found a permanent spot there.

You stumble slightly, not expecting the sudden pull, and end up having your chest tightly pressed against his. The heat from the mug in your hands is nothing compared to the warmth radiating from him.

One hand goes and takes the hot drink away from you, putting it back on the counter. “C’mon, I’m not done with you yet,” he smirks, undeniably teasing you. 

“Seriously?” you mutter, eyes narrowing at him, but the way your lips twitch betrays you. You like how he impatient he is; how he acts as if he can’t spend seconds away from you. 

You watch as Drew straightens up, his eyes gleaming with excitement, hand still firmly around your waist. The other slips into his pocket, and you raise an eyebrow, already bracing yourself for whatever this latest move will be.

“What now—” you start to ask, but your words die in your throat as Drew pulls something small out of his pocket.

The smallest sprig of mistletoe possible.

Your breath catches as you look up at him, eyes wide in disbelief. You expected anything but that.

He holds the mistletoe above the both of you, now expecting you to kiss him.

Then…“With you~ shawty with you,” the familiar tone of Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe leaves Drew’s mouth, but completely out of tune. 

You snort, unable to hold it in, the goofy sound escaping your mouth before you can even stop it. Romantic moment? No, maybe the complete opposite. 

Drew’s grin widens, and before you can even get a word out, he continues to sing the last chorus of the song. 

Your soft giggles encourages him to sing even more dramatically, adding in ad-libs. And when the song comes to an end, he attempts a high-note on the last lines, “kiss me underneath the mistletoe.” 

“You dork,” laughing, you hit his shoulder lightly in attempt to push him away.

“C’mon, kiss me,” he leans down closer to you, “especially after that performance.” 

You look up at him, eyes still gleaming with laughter, but something shifts. The playfulness in his gaze deepens, the smile slipping into something a little softer, a little more serious. He’s still holding the mistletoe above your heads, but it no longer feels like a joke.

And because it was such a good performance, you wrap your arms around his neck, pull him even closer, and kiss him. 

You pour your emotions into it; kissing him soft and slow. Drew immediately melts into it, kissing you back with the same tenderness. 

He drops his hands to wrap around your body, the rough leaves of the mistletoe tickling the skin your top doesn’t cover. You giggle into the kiss, leaving the invitation for Drew to thrust his tongue deeper into you. 

His hand slips lower and cups your ass, giving it a tight squeeze. 

Moaning into his mouth, you know this kiss is escalating. Escalating, rather fast. 

The pulse that speeds up in your lower stomach can support your thoughts. 

You pull away from him, breathless and slightly starstruck. 

Drew is definitely starstruck, lips plumped, cheeks red, and his blue eyes no longer able to hold a single thought behind them. 

He leans down to continue, and when you pull away, a pout is evident on his lips. 

“Earth to Joseph,” you giggle breathlessly, cupping his face. 

He smiles at the mention of his full name, lazy look in his eyes. “They didn’t notice I was gone,” he murmurs, his voice laced with desperation to kiss you again. 

“They will soon,” you gently tell him, before planting a quick kiss to his lips again. 

“Fuck,” he groans, biting down on his lower lip. His gaze drops down between the both of you, and you follow his trail of line. 

Sure enough, the crotch area of his jeans is slowly emerging, a line evident.

“Forgot how easily aroused you are,” you tease, patting his shoulder as you walk past him.

Your gaze flickers to the doorway, and when your mind confirms it, you freeze.

“Shit.”

Your eyes lock with Madelyn’s. She’s standing there, mouth opened in a gasp, eyes wide with shock. She doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she’s caught you in the act. 

Her eyes flicker between you and Drew, who immediately turns his back to face her (obvious reasons why). Her opened mouth turns into a full-wide grin, before raising a finger to point between you and Drew. “Oh! Oh-“

Madelyn’s loud remarks echoes through your apartment, making herself heard to the rest of the group in the living room. You embarrassingly bury your face into your hands, hearing the footsteps of your friend group entering your kitchen. 

Great. So much for keeping this relationship a secret. 

“What happened?” You hear JD ask, worry in his tone. 

“They were making out! And- and Drew’s hard right now!” She practically yells it, leading to a chorus of gasps and laughs. You’re pretty sure Rudy laughs the hardest, his laugh full of amusement and disbelief. 

You groan in embarrassment, your face burning as you sink to the floor, hands instinctively covering your face like a shield. "Fuck," you mutter under your breath.

“You owe me fifty bucks!” You hear Chase happily chirp to someone. 

Everyone takes advantage of you and Drew’s discomfort, just like how you expected them to do once they found out.  

You then feel hands cupping your face, forcing you to look up. 

You meet the familiar blue, Drew now kneeling beside you with an embarrassed smile that matches yours. He rests his forehead against yours, his chest vibrating with laughter, “guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

You giggle at his capability to joke along, hitting his shoulder lightly. “You’re so annoying.”

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Drew says, brushing off your comment with a playful shrug.

You shake your head, but the warmth in your chest is undeniable. With a quick move, you grab the collar of his sweater, pulling him close. You tilt your head just enough to meet his lips in a kiss.

It’s soft. Brief. Sweet. Just enough to drown out the noise, to remind you of the quiet between you two amidst the madness.

When you finally pull away, your breath mingling, you murmur softly, “Merry Christmas,” your voice a gentle whisper that only he can hear.

Drew’s eyes soften as he looks down at you, his smile warm and genuine. “Merry Christmas,” he repeats, as if this moment—this simple kiss—is exactly what he needed too.

-------------------------------

word count: 1.6k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: merry christmas!! hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! i love writing these little holiday specials, bc it gives me the opportunity to write something fun & weird! last one i wrote was hallow's eve, and i just wanna say thxs for liking it. that is, im currently writing another christmas oneshot, so look forward to it!

elevator | other | mr & mrs starkey | hallow's eve

[moonstruckme]

hello!

Could you maybe do poly!marauders x reader and the boys discovering she has a major praise kink!

It doesn’t have to be smutty or it can be whatever you think!!

(ps: you are such an amazing author and the way you write the marauders together and their personalities is impeccable 💋)

This was fun and funny, thanks for requesting!

cw: praise kink, suggestive ending (no smut)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

Remus makes a soft hissing sound. “Is that how you always chop onions?” 

You look at him sideways. “With a knife? Yes.” 

“Don’t be cheeky,” he says, smiling. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” 

You look down at your cutting board, still chopping but now bemused. “I don’t plan on it.” 

James, who’s appeared over your shoulder, makes a similar sound, hissing through his teeth. “No, sweetheart.” He places his hand over yours on the handle of the knife, silently prompting you to stop. “Rem’s right, you’re going to lose the tips of your fingers.” 

You feel a tad defensive of your chopping skills. “I’ve managed to keep them all ‘til now. What am I doing wrong?” 

“Here, let me.” James eases the knife from your grip, squishing in alongside you in front of the cutting board and taking your onion. “See, you want to curl your fingers in a tiny bit so the knife skims off them. Like a claw.” 

You lean over, peering at his hand. “It looks hard to keep a grip like that.” 

“It takes a bit of practice,” he allows. James slices through the onion a few times with smooth, easy motions, then passes the knife back to you. “Give it a try.” 

You try to hold the onion the way he had, looking at James for approval. He taps your pinkie finger, getting you to curl that one a bit more, before smiling at you. 

“There you go. That’s good, now try cutting down your knuckles.” 

“This feels scarier than my way,” you admit, though you do as he says, skimming the knife down your knuckles and slicing through the onion slowly. 

“No, you’ve got it,” James praises. “That’s really good, angel. You’re a natural.” 

Your cheeks are starting to warm from all the compliments. “Thanks,” you say in a small voice. 

“Don’t go getting shy,” says Sirius, coming in to steal a dry pasta noodle from Remus. He bites down on it with a crack that makes James grimace. “You were so vocal about how you knew the proper way a minute ago.” 

“I still like my way better,” you say, recovering some. 

“Right, well do it this way for our peace of mind, would you?” James’ hand warms the small of your back as he watches you work. “You have very pretty fingers, and I don’t think I’m being too presumptuous in saying that we all like them too much to risk it. Plus, you’ve picked it up so quickly.” 

The heat from your face spreads lower. It’s all you can do to squeak out a meek “okay.” You’re grateful when James leaves to return to his own task. 

A minute later, Remus comes over to check that you’re doing what you’re supposed to. He hums approvingly. “Good girl,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair. All the air in your lungs dries up. “Thank you, darling. That looks great.” 

“She learned from the best,” James quips. 

Remus hums and kisses his hair too before turning back to his work. It’s only a handful of seconds before they realize you’ve not replied. 

“Dove?” Remus looks at you. 

“Hm?” you hum tightly. 

“You alright?”

“Mhm.” 

James and Sirius have turned to look now, too. You keep your face downturned to the cutting board, but you can feel the weight of three curious stares on the back of your head. Sirius prowls over to you like a cat, taking you by the shoulders and turning you slowly. 

“Humor me for a moment?” he asks, smirking. “I want to test a theory.” 

You’re wound too tightly by this point to respond, his smug teasing pushing you to the edges of sanity. You barely have the wherewithal to set your knife down carefully behind you. 

Your boyfriend’s cold hands find your warm face, shit-eating grin only spreading as he takes his time feeling about your cheeks with his knuckles and fingers. Sirius isn’t always the most perceptive of your boyfriends, but unfortunately, humiliatingly, he’s the first to unravel this particular mystery. 

He asks smoothly, “Do you like it when we tell you how good you are, pretty girl?” 

You’re not sure if he can actually feel the flare of heat to your face at the words, but something about your expression must confirm it. Sirius laughs gleefully. 

“Awe, angel.” James comes over to wrap his arms around you from the side, also laughing. “I didn’t know we were winding you up when we talked like that. I was just trying to compliment what a quick learner you are.” 

“She is a quick learner,” Sirius says in a salacious tone. “You always follow instructions well, don’t you, gorgeous?” 

“Stop,” you plead, covering your face with your hands and forcing Sirius to move his. All three of your boyfriends snicker, James pressing a conciliatory kiss to your burning ear. “It’s not like it happens all the time, you’re just being so much right now. You can’t just call someone—call them—” 

“A good girl?” Remus asks you, and you don’t think he’s putting on a tone like Sirius is, you really don’t, but his regular voice is already so nearly pornographic that the heat in your core spreads anyway. 

“Right,” you say weakly. 

Remus chuckles. “I didn’t mean anything by it, sweetheart. Sorry if I put you in an…uncomfortable position.” 

“No, don’t be sorry.” Sirius is giddy, smugness dialed up to eleven. “This is a revelation. Just think what we could do with this. You’ve given us all a gift, babe.” 

“Oh, our poor girl,” James laughs when you try to hide your face in his shoulder. “Sirius is right, this is good! It’s always good for us to know what you like, right?” 

You’re too flustered to reply, but Remus agrees for you, humming contemplatively. 

“You know,” he says, “if I leave this to simmer for a while, we could make it up to you now, dove. I’d feel awful if I wound you up without giving you any payoff.” 

His tone implies he’s at least partly joking, but Sirius doesn’t take it that way. He has you all in the bedroom in thirty seconds flat, your chopping left to wait for your return. 

[mushies-stories]

One thing led to another and now I'm a wife to four military men? 18+

141 X F!READER

CH. One: A mission not gone as planned

Chapter one Summary: You were a hired guard to travel with a cargo container. You were not told what was in it or who you were guarding it from, and in the end your team was under prepared and your truck was overrun by a task force. After a misfire the container was shot and mist covered you and a soldier you had been tackled by. The soldier dragged you along with him when everyone began to scatter.

A little about the Reader: Reader is shorter than the guys and has some length of hair, but mostly the physical description is up to yall readers to imagine. Personality isn't anything too extreme one way or the other, but she has an interest in art, and crafting. Creating in general. reader is infertile, because I said so. It's not a big plot point, reader doesn't care. ALSO because I want this to be longer than I've written before, the guys are ‘straight’ for all intensive purposes. I love reading true poly 141 but ima keep it chill, for my own sanity. 

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, creampie, poisoned by aphrodisiac, swearing, talk of infertility. Bad accents… also lack of, sorry XD but any pointers on how our boys should sound would be very welcomed! Homies help homies, right?

Word count: 6473

The beginning.

“S’fuckin hot!” The man, your enemy grunts as he pulls his gear off along with his jacket. His mohawk is a mess and his forehead is sticky with sweat. The room you were in was void of everything but the rusted metal chair that Soap took and an old desk that he pushed against the door. You sat on the floor and against the wall across from him.

You roll your eyes. “It's because of you we’re even in this mess.” you weren't doing much better than him. You were both affected by the unknown toxin and he had only managed to make it to a dingy basement with you before it all became too much to keep walking. His team was waiting for the all clear and location from him before moving in.

“Me? If ya had just surrendered then i wouldn't have’ta tackle yer ass.” he scoffs back. “By the way, yer a terrible fighter.” Soap adds. Petty you think. 

You take off your vest and jacket with a huff, the heat getting to be too much. The wall felt cool against your back as you leaned on it and you savored the feeling. “Because I'm not even a real soldier, I've had very minimal training in combat.” you admit. Soap looks at you a little confused. You roll your eyes. “I was hired to watch the cargo mostly, I'm not half bad with guns. I work for an outside source. Meaning I'm basically of no use to you, I have no information, and can we just not talk?” you add with a bit of a cheeky smile. The best one you could muster up under your conditions. 

You settle into a mildly uncomfortable silence. Your body is too hot for the wall to have helped for long. You close your eyes and lean your head back, willing whatever was taking effect to pass.

“Did ya even know what was in that cargo?” His voice disrupts what little peace you were managing to get. 

You shake your head. “Nope.”

“Amazing.”

You open your eyes to look at him. “What?”

“Yer a little dumb aren't ya?” He snorts. 

Your eyes narrow a little in irritation. “What's that supposed to mean?” 

Soap pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. “Ya take a dangerous job from people ya barely know anything about while barely knowing how to take care of yerself? Sounds pretty dumb to me.”

You weren't sure why but your body seemed to react to seeing him so bare. Your own body still felt impossibly warm and your pussy fluttered at the sight of him. You let out a soft huff and try to clear your head, whatever toxin you both inhaled must have been potent. “I've done just fine, I'm good with a gun.” you tell him, trying to defend yourself. 

Again he snorts a laugh. “That so? Because from where I'm sitting ye dont look like yer in the best position to be talking.” he points out. He was right, you were now unarmed and your body and mind were both being affected by some sort of toxin. “Besided, I don't know about ye lass, but i'm startin to think whatever we took in was an aphrodisiac.” he says. 

You look at him, eyes widening. “How do you assume that?”

Soap leans back in the chair, legs spreading out a bit and looking at you through half lidded eyes. “Because the only thought running through my head is ya being stuffed full o’my cock.” He says bluntly. 

A look of shock spreads across your face, your body however has a different reaction. You could feel how damp your panties were starting to get. “I think that's just your problem.” you try and lie, try to ignore the truth of the situation and the way his gaze was making you feel. Even mostly clothed you felt exposed to him as his eyes wandered around your body. 

He raises one brow and a smirk plays at the corner of his lip. “Tha’so bonnie? Body isn't hot, ya aren't feeling yer pussy getting all wet and needy?” He wasn't just teasing you, he was taunting you. 

As hard as you try, his words still have an effect on you. He was right, your mind is being flooded with thoughts of him. You couldn't just give in to those thoughts though, right? You don't respond in words, instead you shake your head and avoid looking anywhere but his body. Not like his face was any better to look at. He was good looking and had the most entrancing blue eyes. A chill runs up your spine and the dampness between your legs grows. 

This isn't helping. 

Now he was smirking. “Sorry lass but m’not sure I believe tha,” he chuckles. “Bet yer pretty pussy is aching just as badly as my cock.” Your eyes flicker to his crotch where there was indeed a bulge. Your mouth practically started watering at the sight, mind flooded at the thought of how stuffed you'd be. “See, eyein it up.” your eyes snap back to his, embarrassed of your own actions. “Wishin it was fuckin yer little pussy bonnie? All ya gotta do is ask.” he asks, voice huskier than before. One of his large hands came down to press and message at his cock, his eyes never leaving yours. Soap needed you, but he needed you to need it just as bad. He might be a killer, a soldier, but he had respect for women and this toxin was not working with his morals. 

You clamp your legs together as you take in the whole sight of him. You could barely handle the growing ache in your core anymore, ignoring it was becoming impossible and he knew what he was doing to you. He could see it in your face and your body as you begin to rub your thighs together. “I can't do that…” you try to explain but a heat wave crashed into you and your breathing began to pick up a bit more.

“C’mon lass, ya know I can help. Let me make yer pussy feel better, I'll take care of ya.” he tries to reassure you he means it, he doesn't want to hurt you, but he knows you both need this. You can't help feeling uncertain and it shows. He lets out a soft sigh, he doesn't blame you, he was probably intimidating no matter how much you pretend to be as tough as you act. “Soap, can call me soap, I'll make sure no matter what yer taken care of, alright?” He says with a softer smile, a reassuring smile. 

You nod slowly, accepting his obvious call sign. “Y/N.” you tell him, figuring using anything but your real name was pointless. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Soap says, smile widening ever so slightly. He liked the sound of your name on his tongue. Lazily he undid his pants and slid his hand under the fabric, watching you as you thought about what he said. He groans softly when he starts to slowly pump his cock, his eyes fluttering a little as they stay focused on you. You can't help but watch his movements, his pants even loose seemed to be straining his cock. He must be big and you assumed pretty thick, if it's anything like the rest of him that is. “Are you sure?” you ask.

He nods and huffs softly. “If wha ya say is true, ya were just fer hire yeah.” 

The feeling between your legs was quickly becoming unbearable and you couldn't think of anything else to do about it. Slowly you stood on shaky legs, using the wall as balance before taking the few steps across the room to Soap. He pulls his cock out and adjusts his pants so you have a good view of everything. He was big and thick, a few thick veins trailed up the bottom and sides and it was leaking precum already.

“Alright lass, take off those bottoms.” He instructed. Your eyes trailed up his body and back to his face. You didn't sleep around, and the times you have it was never any good, or special. Your brain was still trying to fight your body's urges. Soap could see the conflict on your face. He reaches a hand out and pulls you closer by the hips. You let out a startled gasp and reached out to hold onto his shoulders. “There we go, I got ya.” Soap says. His fingers do quick work with your buckles and buttons and you are free of the damp fabric. 

He glanced up at you when he noticed your underwear. Definitely not military approved lace. You roll your eyes and yank them down yourself. “Shut up, it's not like anyone normally would know.” you say as Soap guides you onto his lap with his hands on your waist. You're placed right on his cock and the feeling of your dripping pussy makes you both shutter a little at the contact.

Again he chuckles. “Guess it's my lucky day.” he teases. He's a little goofy you realize. It helps make you feel a little less nervous, that maybe under normal circumstances this wouldn't be so bad. You don't even realize it when your hips start to shift and grind down against his length. Your mind seemed to have fogged over momentarily, the feeling of his warm cock being the only thing you can think of. “Feeling good dove?” 

you're brought back to reality and halt your movements. If you weren't already so warm you knew your face would be shining bright red right now. That new nickname didn't sound too bad coming from him either you think. “Ye-yeah, I mean… i did-”

“Shh, it's okay.” His smile is kind when he looks at you, but the look in his eyes shows you that lust has taken over. “I'm gonna lift ya and I want’ya to guide me in, can ya do that lass?” he asks. 

“Mhm.” you hum with a nod. With one hand placed on his shoulders for support he wrapped his hands under your thighs and lifted you up. You reach a hand down and slide your fingers down his length and it makes your pussy flutter. 

“Ready?” He asks. You give him a nod in response and line him up with your dripping cunt. “Good girl.” he praised. 

He took a lot of care in how he held you and once the tip of his cock was pressing against your entrance he was gentle when pushing in. As much as he wanted to pull you down and have you take his whole length right then, he wouldn’t. 

You couldn't hold in your gasps and breathy moans. He was making you feel so good so easily, you wanted him to fill you up, wanted him to keep stretching your pussy on his thick cock.

The sounds you were making as he filled you up inch by inch were like music to his ears and encouraged him to keep going until you were finally at the base of his cock. “There we are Dove, properly stuffed with my cock.” he says, looking down between your bodies and admiring your pussy. His eyes stayed trained on your slick core as he pulled you up a little, cock twitching at the sight of sliding in and out of you. “Tight little pussy, gripping my cock so perfectly.” He groans as he sets a slow pace, rocking you on his cock while you hold onto his shoulders and try to stay focused. 

You almost felt like a toy as he effortlessly benched your body. You didnt mind that much, the need to be filled and fucked heavily on your mind. It wasn't long before you were craving more, needing him to go faster, make you really feel him. Your eyes flutter when you look into his. “M-more, please.” you managed to get out.

Soap shuddered at your words, the way you looked at him with such pleading eyes. “Fuck Bonnie.” he groans. His grip on you tightened before he started to move you faster. You hold onto him just as tight, nails slowly digging more and more into his skin the better it starts to feel. 

You held your voice as much as you could in case someone was still in the area. While soap would have preferred to be able to hear every sound you could make, he knew better as well and settled on what he was able to get. Soaking in your breathy moans and sharp gasps, the feeling of your breath creeping closer to his neck. You had to wrap your arms around his neck the harder you were slammed down on his cock. You could feel the knot in your stomach getting closer to snapping with every thrust. You found it hard to keep your voice quiet so you pressed yourself into soap, moaning into his neck and clinging to him. 

Your actions cause Soap to smirk a little. His cock was throbbing and precum mixing with your own juices, all of it making him feel just as close to his own release. “Gunna cum for me bonnie?” his voice was deeper, close to your ear and it made you shiver. You shake your head and a whiny moan escapes you. Soap responds with a low moan of his own. “C’mon then, make a mess dove.” he encourages. 

His words and a few more thrusts were all it took for you to come undone. Your pussy squeezed his cock as you covered his cock in your slick. You did all you could to hold back your sounds, using the crook of his neck and shoulder to mask most of it. All of it hitting Soap's ears and pushing him closer and closer to the edge. Your pussy taking his cock so well and your pretty little sounds were perfect to him. “Need to cum Dove.” he warns you and slows down his pace, letting you ride out the last of your high. He can't help the desperate moan when your pussy flutters at his words. 

Your thoughts are instantly filled with thoughts of his cum filling you up, how good it would feel. They fuel a new desire and another ache in your pussy. “Cum, like this.” you say softly, just loud enough for him to hear. 

His cock twitched. “Ya want tha bonnie, want me to fill ya up?” he groans, picking his pace back up. 

“Need it, n-need you please.” you whine. Your pussy was dripping, making a mess of his lap and pants and you didn't want to waste time explaining that it doesn't matter, you wont get pregnant. You were close to the edge again, pussy fluttering around his thick cock and you needed to feel him cum. “Please cum, need to feel you cum.” you babble.

Soap was focused now, focused on feeling every inch of you. Marveling at how it feels having you take all of him. “Fuckin perfect pussy, gunna be good and take my cum?” Your response was a needy mewl and your nails digging into his back, sure to leave marks. Soap reacted by slamming you down on his cock as he came. His hands moved to your hips to hold you there while he grinds up into you. 

Your legs shake and your pussy flutters, Soap fills your senses, his low groans and his cum filling your pussy. Tears prick the corners of your eyes as you cum again. You're both lost in a haze of pure pleasure, you rock your hips in time with his now slow and gentle thrusts. Slowly you caught your breaths. You figured that was it, his cock wasn't as hard anymore but there was still something, you could still feel a dull ache. One that only grew when you focused on the way his cum was leaking out. When he was about to lift you to pull out you couldn't hold back a displeased whine.

Soap chuckled softly and settled you back down. “Like my cock tha much bonnie?” he asks, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. You pull back and look at him with half lidded eyes. Slowly you rolled your hips, gasping a little when you felt his cock twitch. “Fuck, this is some poison.” his cock was already getting hard again, filling you up and fogging his brain all over again. He hooks his hands under your things again and stands, lifting you while keeping his cock snug in your pussy. He brings you to the desk and lays you right on top, leaning over you to get a view of your face. “This time I want to see this pretty face when ya cum dove.” he tells you before sliding almost all the way out just to slam back into you. You have to throw your hands over your mouth to suppress the yelp you let out. 

With his hands holding your hips in a firm grip he doesn't waste time being so gentle this go around.

*******************************************************

You weren't sure how long the poison lasted, or how many rounds you went by the end. Hell you don't even remember the end, it all became a blur and at some point you had passed out. True to his word, Soap did make sure to take care of you. At least in the sense that you had woken up in a decent looking hospital bed dawning a hospital gown and not in an interrogation room. Your body was still sore a day and a half later but it's nothing you couldn't handle. Having become dehydrated in your previous state, you were hooked up to a drip bag. 

“Looks like ya weren't lyin lass.” Soap familiar voice causes you to snap your head to the doorway, you were lost in thought, trying to piece the events after you blacked out together. He was already back in uniform and roaming around and here you were still stuck in a hospital bed rehydrating. Soap closed the door behind him and stepped into the room. He grabs the empty office chair and and sets it next to the side of your bed and sits down

“Told you, there was no reason for me to.” you state, pulling the blanket up a little more over your lap.

“That ya did lass, never doubted ya either.” He says with a stupid grin. “Love the dress by the way.” He teases with a nod to your attire.

You roll your eyes and ignore the sudden reaction of butterflies. “So what now, what's going to happen to me?” you ask simply.

He eyes you for a moment and you try to stay as confident as you could. “Tell me, what is it ya want, lass?” he asks. You look at him with a raised brow, confused. “Yer job, is this what ya want’ta be doing?” he asks, tone becoming more serious. 

You blink a few times, thinking about what he's asking. What benefit knowing the answer would be to him. You shake your head slowly. “No, not really. Just kind of got stuck in it.” You admit. It was true, you never cared for the job, just the money you got from it. “Why?” you ask.

You don't know why you were feeling so anxious, but him being this close again made your skin warm a little. “Why do ya keep at this job then?” Another question. 

You tilt your head a little, trying to figure him out. “Money, it pays… well.” you tell him. “What's the point of these questions?” you were starting to get a little irritated. 

He smiled then, the stern facade wiped away. “Well Bonnie, I was thinking maybe I could make ya an offer, if you’ll hear my proposal out.” He waits for you to object and when you don't he continues. “My mates and me, we've been looking for a lass, someone to be ours.” he begins and watches your features as he explains. “Think ye’r what we're lookin for Bonnie.” 

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. “What are you talking about? You want me to be a whore for you and your “mates”, that's it?” you were offended and it showed. 

Soap shook his head. “No, not at all. I mean…there's four of us, and it's difficult for us to maintain relationships because we go on long missions. But we thought, maybe if we find someone who would like’ta  be with all of us...” He tries to explain better, he was starting to become uncertain, a little shy even when he realized how it was starting to sound. “Really didn't mean any offense Bonnie, ya also happen to be aware of our jobs, and the struggles that come with it and that might be somewhat beneficial.” he adds, trying hard to save this conversation. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I know it was because of the poison, but I can't stop thinking about ya lass and I think the others would feel the same as me.” He confessed.

You feel your face heat up at his confession. You take a moment and process what he's saying. “I guess I understand, but how exactly would this all work? ” you ask.

He smiles a little, seeing that you aren't as angry now. “We have a nice home we all got about a year ago when we decided to do this. ya can do whatever ya want to it. We will take care of ya, whatever ya need, won't hav’ta worry about anything.” Soap smiles when you don't look totally disgusted at the idea. “Ye’ll be our girl.” He adds. He looked at you with hopeful eyes, like a puppy actually. 

You let out a soft sigh, relaxing a little. “Can I at least meet the others first, before deciding to sign my body over?” you ask, a little sarcastically.

Soap chuckles. “And yer heart Bonnie, don't forget that.” he jokes. You give him a small smile in return. Okay, he was maybe a little charming, in a dorky kind of way. “Sure ya can, I'm sure our captain will be by eventually anyways. Did make him a little curious when I wouldnt stop talkin’bout ya.” he admits sheepishly. 

You're sure after this whole conversation your face was a few shades redder than it normally was. “Of course you did.” you say, rolling your eyes again with a chuckle.

“Wait, not like that… well a little, hell Bonnie.” he chuckles nervously. “Just talk to Price, yeah, he’s our captain, hear him out and if yer still interested we can set up a little meet and greet.” 

You look at him, trying to look for any malicious intent but either he was a really good actor, or he meant it. “Alright.” you answer simply with a short nod.

He gives you a genuine smile. “That's it, I'll see you later then dove.” Setting the chair back in its rightful place he leaves, after one more look back with a goofy grin before shutting the door again. 

That brings a small smile to your face. He was nice you thought, maybe even a little funny. Were you really going to consider being, what, a girlfriend for hire for a group of military guys? You think back to your little accident with Soap. The thought makes you want to rub your thighs together. Though you were grateful he didn't bring it up just now, you dont think you're ready for that conversation just yet. But that was him, you didn't know who the other men where you would be with. The logistics of everything was confusing. 

Then there was the future, did they mean to keep you around forever, or would you be tossed out after a while? What kind of future were they looking for, maybe they wanted kids and to be like a normal family. That was something you couldn't give them, at least not naturally. You were told by three doctors a few years ago you were infertile, no fault of your own, just happens sometimes. You weren’t too upset at the news, adoption was always an option along with others, and if you didn't have any that was alright by you too. But did four men feel the same as you?

You let out a sigh and turn the tv on to find the least boring show you could and attempt to clear your mind. A rather hard task when memories from your time with Soap keep popping into your head. You think over the offer, you'd be lying if you said your interest was peaked. It's not like you really cared for your current job anyways, it was just a means to an end, but what was the end? Would they really take care of you? 

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. After a while the tv manages to grab some of your attention.

A couple of hours go by and you've gotten the iv finally taken out and were given something to eat, though you only ended up eating the fruit cup. You were told to sit tight and someone would be in to discharge you. You settle in and let your mind relax a little, focusing on the tv drama you found that was already half way through the series. After a while your peace was disturbed by a knock on the door.

Starting to feel anxious again you let out a huff and prepare yourself, you didn't know if it was a doctor or Soaps captain. You mute the tv and face the door. “Come in.” 

The handle turners and you knew who he was the moment your eyes saw him step into the room. “Y/N? I'm Captain price.” He greets you with a smile and closes the door behind him. He was dressed similarly to Soap and he was older than you and Soap and definitely had the ‘aura’ of a Captain by just the way stood.

You nod in response and motion to the chair for him. “You can sit if you want.” you offer. You felt even more awkward being in a hospital gown now. You didn't know what to say, this kind of situation was never something you’ve had to deal with before. 

“Thank you.” he places the chair next to the bed and sits. “I assume you know what this is about?” he asks.

“Yes.” you answer simply, trying not to show how nervous you really are. 

“I can answer any other questions you have, if you'd like.” He begins. “I know what we are asking is not very conventional, and I would hate to put you in any uncomfortable situations.” He explains.

You take in what he says and gather your thoughts before responding. “Would… would we all like, share a bed or something? Also what about money, and a job? Do I have to find a new one? How is this all going to end? And wha…” you stop, realizing you were just blurting out every thought you were having. 

Before you could dive too far into self pity due to embarrassment, the Captain surprises you. He laughs, nothing too extreme but enough to have him tilting back a little in his chair. “That boy really didn't do a great job explaining, did he.” He says, more as a fact than a question. “First, you, like the rest of us, will have your own room. That doesn't mean you only have to sleep in your own bed, you are allowed to choose wherever that is.” he explains with a knowing look in his eye. Even with something implied what he said did help your nerves a little. “As for money, so long as you don't destroy our banks, you will be taken care of. Money to do with as you please and you can ask for anything. You can work if you want, though we would prefer it to be close to home, coming home to you is a big part of the deal. That seem okay to you?” He asks. 

Soap did say something along the lines of being taken care of. You wouldn't have to work, or you could. “How do you know I'm right for all of you? What if the others dont like me or we don't get along? I'm not that attractive, you don't know anything about me.”

The captain gives you a soft smile. “Well we don't expect you to be on board right away, it is a lot to ask someone to decide in one day. I was thinking you would come stay with us for a few days in the house, get to know everyone and all that. As for how you see yourself, I can promise you, my men will prove you wrong, if you let them.” he offers but notices the look of hesitance on your face. “You don't have to do anything you don't want to love. We understand what happened between you and Soap, it wasn't either of your choices. While it is what led us to you, it was not the only reason. Soap saw something in you and really pushed for this, can't be without good reason.” he tells you. “You have every right to say no whenever you want and we will respect that.

You nod along to his words. Becoming a little flustered at the mention of Soap and you. The thought of him talking about you like that made your heart skip a beat. Your mind flashes to who the other could be, were as nice as Soap and their Captain seem to be, would you get along with the others? “Could you tell me a little about the others maybe?” you ask, voice quieter now.  

“Of course.” John says. “Their names are Gaz and Ghost. Gaz is our pretty boy, as much as he pushes my buttons. He's a good lad, kind, caring, all of that. Ghost, well he seems big and scary, wears a mask more often than not but he's really not all that scary.” he spoke of the others fondly, warmth written on his face and you smile a little at his descriptions. 

However you can't help but notice you haven't been told any of their first names, it's all been what you assume is a call sign. “Am I ever going to know your names?” you ask, raising a brow.

He chuckles. “Of course love. Ghost will be back tomorrow and I thought we could do a proper introduction then? Ghost is a little more private about himself than the rest of us, but if you just give him a little time he will warm up to you.” he explains. You go to ask one another question but stop yourself, not sure how to bring it up. The Captain notices and gives you a soft smile. “What is it, love?” he asks.

You glance down at your hands a moment before facing him again. “Kids, I can't have them.” you tell him rather bluntly.

“Do you want kids?” he asks.

You shake your head. “I mean, I can't say one hundred percent no… but I'm not upset that I can't, I can always adopt ya know and… I mean.” you take a short breath and gather your thoughts. “If that was something you all needed, a child, with me, I can't do it.” You explain.

“It doesn't make a difference to us, love, we knew our family would already look different when we decided to do this.” you can't help but be a little shocked. “We are looking for a partner, and what you want or don't want matters.what we need is for you to be happy and healthy.” He leaned in a little and eyes never left yours as he spoke.“As for an end? I can't say what will happen in the future for certain, but our goal is forever if we can have it.” He speaks with a look of sincerity in his eyes. “So Dove, what do you say, come stay with us for a few days?”

Warm, your cheeks felt warm and your heart was beating faster. Something about him made you want to trust him, he spoke so gently to you, not something you expected from someone in his profession. You look at your hands as you think, fidgeting with the hem of the blanket. Soap was funny, and nice and you already knew what sex with him could be like, and if the others are as good as those two seemed to be, why not? You take a short breath and nod once. “Yeah… I think I'd like to give it a try.” you say, glancing at the man through your lashes. 

You could have sworn your heart skipped a million beats when a brighter smile spread across his face. “Glad to hear that love. I think you’ll like the place, and I'm sure with your touch added it will feel even more at home for all of us.” He says with a nod and stands. “Would you mind waiting here just a bit longer? I have some paperwork to finish up before we head home.” He explains. 

You give him a small smile. “Yeah that's okay, I've got my drama to finish anyway.” you joke, nodding to the muted tv that was still playing your show. 

He chuckles. “That's right, just a bit then.” 

With that he places the chair back and takes his leave. You unmute your show and try to focus back on the story, a task easier said than done however. Your nerves are all over the place and at the same time you are filled with anticipation. So many different thoughts coursed through your brain, making you question your decision. Could you be risking your life, or were these men actually normal, good people? If they are, will they really take care of you, would you get to live with all of them?

You replay your conversation over and over in your head and it comforts you a little. The Captain seemed so genuine and sincere when he spoke. Even Soap was basically a gentleman when he stopped by. You thought for a second about running out, hospital gown and all but quickly dismissed that idea. 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath and slow exhale. 

Your moment of clarity is interrupted by yet another knock on the door, this one just a little softer. 

“Come in” You call. 

One of your nurses, Jackie, you think, entered with a black paper bag. It almost looked like a gift. “This is for you, someone dropped it off, there's clothes in it.” She tells you while setting it on the bed beside you. “Guess you won't be needing to make a fashion statement with a pair of scrubs.” she smiles. “I also have some release forms for you to sign.” she adds, handing you the clipboard and a pen. 

You chuckle and smile back, taking the board from her. “As long as it's not this stupid gown, I'd take it.” you joke and scribble your signature where it was needed and handed it back.

She snorts a laugh and nods in agreement. “Very true, well you have a safe trip home, glad you're feeling better.” 

“Thanks, and thank you for bringing the clothes.” she smiles and nods before disappearing, closing the door behind her. 

You reach in the bag and find a plain black shirt, blue jeans and a black hoodie. Under those were a few pairs of socks and… you pause a moment before picking up the panties. Red lace. You roll your eyes while your cheeks turn a shade of pink. Soap was the one who went out and got you these clothes, and being a cheeky bastard about it too. 

You roll your eyes and grab a pair of socks. Once you got them on you slid off the bed and threw the rest of the clothes on, ready to not feel so naked around everyone. They fit well enough, the hoodie was a little big but comfortable. You sit in the chair to put your boots on, loosely lacing them. 

Your eyes snap to the door at another knock. “Bonnie, cn’i i come’n?” Soap calls from the hallway. 

“Yeah!” you shout. 

He smiles when he sees you finishing up your laces. “Hope the clothes are okay, I wasn't sure what yed like.” A small smirk appeared on his face, “well, mostly.” he teases.

You glance up at him with a raised brow. “Like a teenage boy.” you mumble, still loud enough for him to hear. “But yes they are, thank you. Definitely better than scrubs.” you say.

Soap feigned being hurt at your remark but ignores it. “Pretty bonnie like yerself would make anything look good, so ya have nothin to worry’bout.” 

You chuckle and shake your head. “If you say so.” you try not to let him see how his comment  has managed to fluster you. 

“I do.” He said proudly. Then his phone beeped. He fished it from his pocket and took a quick glance at it. “Looks like we're all really to go, ya got yerself all together, lass?” he asks. 

You stand with a shrug and look down at yourself. “Yeah, I didn't really have anything with me but my clothes.” you felt that same nervous feeling begin to bubble up again. This was it, you were going to try this with them. 

Soap crinkles his nose. “Both our clothes got thrown out, promise we didn want them back.” he informs you. 

You mirror his expression as you cross the room, stopping in front of him. “Yeah, probably right.” you agree. 

For a moment he looks you over. “Well, we’ll make sure to get you more clothes, take you shopping if you'd like, and whatever else you’ll want or need too. For now though, let's get you home so you can have a good night of sleep.” He smiles and opens the door for you. 

You looked from him to the door, that same nervous feeling began to bubble up again. This was it, you were going to try this with them. It took you a moment before your legs started moving, but a cloud of excitement grew and sat right beside the swarm of nerves as soon as you stepped into the hallway. 

You weren't going to turn back now, or at least not yet. You wanted to go with them, to follow Soap and see what this life could bring you.

****************************************************

🍄 Thank you for reading!

[gay-dorito-dust]

I’m depressed…act three better bring home my baby girl or I swear- I need to post Viktor fluff to keep my sanity.

You’ve had been overly affectionate with Viktor as of late, not that he was complaining as he found himself more than complicit in just letting you hold his face and kiss it senseless, all the while running your fingers through his hair that had grown a couple inches.

‘You’re so beautiful and pretty it should be fucking illegal.’ You murmured against his cheek as you kissed his jawline and down his neck, feeling the cool metallic skin greet your lips deliciously the thou couldn’t help but take a little nibble, which was a foolish thing to do on your part as your teeth did barely anything other then make a chuckle leave Viktor’s lips.

‘Did you just try to bite me?’ He asked humorously, his brow raised as he looked at you with a smile stretching across his face. You pouted as you rested your head against his, fiddling with the strands of hair that touched his shoulders, just to make sure this man was real and not a figment of your imagination.

‘Yeah.’ You pouted.

‘Didn’t go to plan did it?’ He inquired, knowing the answer way before you said it.

‘No..it kinda hurt my teeth to be honest with you.’ You huffed and Viktor couldn’t help but chuckle at your inherent adorableness as he pressed a kiss of his own against your forehead, breathing you in as he often found that a weight was taken off his chest whenever he got these soft, sweet moments like these with you.

‘My silly, silly love.’ He whispered against your forehead, kissing it again and then at brief time before pulling away to rest against you. ‘Always know how to make me smile and forget my worries don’t you.’ You smiled as you cuddled up to him, kissing his shoulders and neck before resting your head there and just letting this calm moment sink into your skin, and smiling to yourself as you appreciated having Viktor by your side to share this moment with.

‘I try my best for my beautiful hard working man.’ You replied as you lifted a hand to his chin, moving his head towards you as you kissed Viktor on the lips, humming in content as you pull away. ‘I love you my dear heart.’ You add softly.

Viktor lifted a cool hand to hold you by the chin, keeping you in place as it was his turn to kiss you sweetly on the lips and smiling whilst doing so before begrudgingly pulling away. ‘I love you too my beloved.’ He said and you both fell into a comfortable silence as you enjoyed the presence of the other on a day as beautiful as this one.

[sharieb]

My Emcumbarce Pragma

Pairing: LADs x non-mc (You)

Genre: Angst (not proofread)

Series' inspiration

Writer's note: I've decided to start a series of some sort, as my mind is brewing with ideas. However, to get started, I need a catalyst to trigger my momentum, so please forgive me for the angst I'm bringing. (Yes, I lovingly kissed all the bricks beforehand for this and the future posts.)

Next

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Life had always been cruel to me for as long as I could remember. The dull to sharp unbearable ache of watching the love of my life fall deeply in love with someone else, to fall for her, Mc unconditionally and wholeheartedly, that I had to continuously endure the sight of him falling to his demise, whether by the sacriface of his life for hers or lose of his sanity and will to live after her untimely demise, time and time again. A constant tragedy, yet, I have always been there by his side during his weakest and most vulnerable, to hold him in my warm embrace, whispering soothing words of comfort and encouragement to restore him to his best self, only for him to continue his pursuit of her while I watched on in the distance.

To him, I was a mundane necessity that was always around but never truly desired, like an ordinary harbour with a small lighthouse in the distance, a place for him to rest for a time before becoming forgotten once again, for the great horizon beyond my shores represents her. There were times when I tried to stop him and desperately keep him within the bay, in the safety of my warm embrace as the paths before him were not worth disregarding and sacrificing his life for a love that will end up killing him long before the love he desires comes to fruition, and yet, he and the new twisted plans that Astra had in store for him says otherwise.

She's worth the pain.

She's everything to me.

I can't live with the idea of not being by her side.

I'll do whatever it takes to protect her and make her happy.

I would rather die in her arms than not save her.

You don't understand what I'm going through.

He pushed me away, as to him I was just in the way of keeping her safe in his own embrace, even if it meant meeting his tragic end by her own hands or to forever be cursed to not being able to love her nor live a long life together.

If only he knew that I did understand, far more than he could ever imagine, but yet... He doesn't see it that way. To him, I'm not as special as her. I'm not the person who makes his heart race; the one who was never a constant thing in his mind. I'm someone who he'll drop everything that he's doing, just to be near to like she could, to have her eyes on him and him alone.

I'm not, nor will I ever be, the sun, his sun that lights up his world. The sun that he willingly orbits around while craving more of her warmth and care, as I was just a tiny moon that sticks around him during the nights and early mornings. The same small moon that reflects his sun's shine when she is gone for a time, and then pales in the sky as the sun takes back her rightful place. A moon that is always there but never greatly appreciated as much.

I hate it.

I hate how he always gives his life away so easily for her.

I hate the times where would he screams, shouts and grows cold towards me time and time again whenever I try to protect him from the inevitable, only to then hold his cold, lifeless body in my arms, or watch the man I love becomes the empty unrepairable shell of what he once was after she was gone.

I hate how in some lifetimes, I also end up sacrificing myself just for him to have a chance to be with her as I slowly fade away like a long forgotten memory.

Most of all... I hate that I was never enough for him to love instead.

But yet... In the end, he and I were no different. We're both willing to risk our lives to be with the love of our lives, even if the moments together were short and fleeting. In the end, we both never once regretted our decisions, even during this twisted game with fate. However, there will always be one consistent thing that makes our destinies different.

For him, it was the fact that he and the love of his life would meet each other again in another life. That their hearts and souls will always belong to each other, and there will be another chance to be together. As for me? What was even there for me to hold on to?

Where is the reassurance that I'll have a chance to be loved and cherished by him? To be the one who is constantly having his loving gaze on them, and to be in his boundless embrace of devotion.

...

Maybe there won't be another next time.

Maybe there won't ever be a chance for me to love him so openly, as his and Mc's love was already set in stone, and I was just destined to fade into the cold, lifeless void like always.

Maybe it was for the best that we'll never see each other again, my love. To live our lives from now on and in the many lives after as strangers. To never recall the times we shared, the moments and memories that I'd once loved and cherished with all my heart and soul. To live in different timelines, dimensions, worlds, or even universes.

Maybe it's for the best that Astra lets a different cosmic god take my soul to somewhere far away...but not without taking your cursed, tragic fate with me in exchange for my compliance, so that you can finally live a life full of love and happiness with her. For her to love you with just as much love as I did for you in all those lifetimes.

To give you my last and final act of love and wishes for you.

Goodbye, my love... my all in all...

My snowman

My dragon

My starlight

My fishie

My candy apple

My Emcumbrace Pragma... I hope we never meet again.

...

..

.

NO! COME BACK! I'M SORRY! DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE, PLEASE!!!

[urdreamydoodles]

Bat-Villains x Reader

They had a bad day at work and they come home to you

Characters: Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Bane, Scarecrow, Two-Face, The Riddler & The Penguin

The Joker

- The day had been nothing short of chaos, even by Joker’s standards. The heist went sideways, his crew made careless mistakes, and Batman was an ever-present thorn in his side. As he sat in the wreckage of his latest hideout, his manic laughter began to falter, replaced by an unfamiliar weight in his chest. His mind drifted to you, your laugh, your touch—things that had no place in his twisted world, yet they crept in anyway.

- He hated feeling this way, this nagging pull toward something soft, something vulnerable. But the thought of you brought a strange kind of clarity amidst his spiraling madness. The idea of you waiting for him, unjudging and warm, was the only thing that kept him from descending further into his own chaos.

- By the time he reached your shared home, his steps were less erratic, his usual grand entrance subdued. He found you curled up with a book, the glow of the lamp casting soft shadows across your features. For a moment, he simply stood there, watching you, the tension in his body slowly unraveling.

- “Miss me, doll?” he finally said, his voice lacking its usual theatrics. You looked up, and the way your face lit up when you saw him felt like a balm to his frayed nerves. Without a word, you crossed the room and wrapped your arms around him, grounding him in a way he didn’t think was possible.

- He sank into the embrace, his head resting against yours as he let out a long sigh. “Rough day,” he murmured, an uncharacteristic honesty slipping through his defenses. You didn’t push for details, knowing he’d share only what he wanted. Instead, you just held him, your quiet presence enough to soothe the storm inside him.

- Later, as you ran your fingers through his hair while he stretched out beside you, he found himself talking more than usual. He recounted his day in fragmented pieces, the frustration in his voice giving way to something softer as he focused on you.

- “You make it bearable, you know,” he admitted, his voice low. “All this madness... it’s not so bad when I know I’ve got you.” For a man like Joker, the admission was monumental, and though he’d never say it outright, he was terrified of losing the one piece of sanity in his life: you.

Harleen Quinzel aka. Harley Quinn

- Harley’s day had been a whirlwind of bad luck. The cops were relentless, her latest plan fell apart, and to top it off, one of her so-called allies betrayed her. By the time she managed to escape, she was exhausted and on edge, her usual bubbly demeanor replaced with a rare scowl.

- Sitting on a rooftop to catch her breath, her mind wandered to you. The thought of your easy smile and calming presence made her heart ache in a way she couldn’t quite describe. You were her sanctuary, the one person who saw her for more than just the chaos she caused.

- When she finally made her way home, she burst through the door with her usual energy but faltered when she saw you waiting for her. “Hey, puddin’,” she said, her voice softer than usual. You immediately noticed the exhaustion in her eyes and beckoned her over.

- Without hesitation, she flopped onto the couch beside you, burying her face in your shoulder. “It’s been a day,” she mumbled, her voice muffled. You ran your fingers through her hair, letting her vent in her own way.

- Harley wasn’t one to wallow, but tonight, she let herself be vulnerable with you. She talked about the betrayal, the frustration, and the weariness that came with always having to keep up her wild persona. You listened without judgment, offering her the comfort she rarely let herself ask for.

- “Ya know,” she said after a long pause, looking up at you with a small smile, “you’re like my safe place or somethin’. Weird, huh? Me, Harley Quinn, needin’ someone to keep me grounded.” She laughed, but there was a sincerity in her words that made your chest tighten.

- That night, as you lay tangled together, she held onto you like a lifeline. For all her bravado and chaos, Harley Quinn had a heart that beat fiercely for those she loved, and you were the one person who got to see it in its entirety.

Pamela Isley aka. Poison Ivy

- Ivy’s day had been grating in every possible way. Corporate polluters had ruined one of her prized gardens, Gotham’s heat was stifling, and her attempts to protect the environment felt like they were being undone faster than she could act. It left her feeling helpless, a rare and unwelcome emotion for someone so fiercely independent.

- As she retreated to her sanctuary, the thought of you crossed her mind. You, who managed to bring a sense of peace to her chaotic existence. You, who never judged her for her extremes but instead supported her in ways no one else could.

- When she arrived home, the sight of you tending to one of her plants made her pause. You looked up with a smile, and for the first time that day, she felt the tension in her chest begin to ease.

- “You’re home,” you said softly, setting the plant down and walking over to her. She didn’t say anything at first, just pulled you into a gentle embrace, letting the warmth of your presence soothe her frayed nerves.

- “It’s been... difficult,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. Ivy wasn’t one to show weakness, but with you, she didn’t feel the need to hide. You listened as she vented, offering words of encouragement that felt like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.

- As the night went on, she found herself leaning into you more, her usually guarded demeanor softening in your presence. “You have a way of making everything seem... manageable,” she said, her fingers tracing idle patterns on your arm.

- Ivy wasn’t one to rely on others, but you had become her exception. In a world that constantly fought against her, you were her oasis, and she realized that she’d do anything to keep you by her side.

Bane

- Bane’s day had been a relentless grind of planning, fighting, and asserting his dominance over those who dared challenge him. He was used to the weight of leadership, but today had been particularly taxing, leaving him with a rare sense of fatigue.

- As he sat alone in the dim light of his quarters, his thoughts drifted to you. The memory of your touch, your voice, and your unwavering support brought an unexpected calm to his usually restless mind.

- When he returned home, his imposing figure filled the doorway, but his usual stoicism was softened by the sight of you. “You’re back,” you said, your voice filled with genuine relief. He nodded, stepping inside and letting the door close behind him.

- Bane rarely showed vulnerability, but tonight, he let you see the weariness etched into his features. “It was... challenging,” he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. You guided him to sit, your hands gentle as they brushed against his.

- As you cared for him, he found himself relaxing in a way he hadn’t thought possible. “You ease my burden,” he said, his voice rough but sincere. “In a world of conflict, you are my peace.”

- That night, as he lay beside you, his massive frame curled protectively around you, he realized just how much you meant to him. You weren’t just his partner; you were his anchor, the one person who made him feel human in a life filled with inhuman challenges.

- Bane was a warrior, a leader, and a force to be reckoned with, but with you, he allowed himself to be something he rarely acknowledged: a man deeply in love. And he would do everything in his power to keep you safe.

Jonathan Crane aka. Scarecrow

- The day had been grueling for Jonathan. His experiments had failed, his underlings proved incompetent, and Gotham’s criminal underworld continued to undervalue his genius. As he sat in his lab, surrounded by shattered vials and the acrid smell of fear toxins, his thoughts drifted. He was unused to thinking of anything outside his work, but tonight, your face crept into his mind, unbidden but strangely comforting.

- He hated the vulnerability that came with caring for someone, yet the image of you smiling, oblivious to his current frustrations, brought a rare calm to his racing thoughts. For a moment, he considered what it might be like to let someone in, to share the weight of his ambitions.

- When he returned home, his mind was a storm of frustration and unacknowledged feelings. He found you reading by the dim light of the living room lamp, the atmosphere serene in stark contrast to his chaotic day. You looked up and smiled, a gesture so simple yet disarming that it stopped him in his tracks.

- “You’re back,” you said softly, closing your book. He stood there for a moment, silent, before stepping into the room and sitting beside you. His usual cold demeanor seemed to melt as you rested your hand on his arm. “Rough day?” you asked gently.

- “Understatement,” he murmured, his voice low and strained. To his surprise, he began to talk—about the failures, the frustrations, and the nagging feeling that he was losing control. You listened without judgment, your quiet presence grounding him in a way he hadn’t realized he needed.

- Later, as you sat together in comfortable silence, your head resting against his shoulder, he felt an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. “You’re a curious distraction,” he muttered, the closest thing to a confession you’d ever get from him. But in that moment, it was enough.

- As he watched you drift off to sleep beside him, he realized that the fear he wielded so effectively was nothing compared to the fear of losing you. And for the first time, Jonathan Crane felt like he might have something worth protecting.

Harvey Dent aka. Two-Face

- Harvey’s day had been a balancing act, both figuratively and literally. Between keeping his criminal empire running and battling the constant inner turmoil of his dual personality, he was exhausted. The endless decisions weighed on him, the coin offering little solace as the world demanded answers he couldn’t always provide.

- As he sat in his office, the remnants of the day’s chaos strewn around him, his thoughts wandered to you. He tried to dismiss it—what place did you have in his fractured world? But the memory of your voice, your touch, brought a rare sense of calm to his warring mind.

- When he finally came home, the sight of you was like a balm to his frayed nerves. “Harvey,” you greeted warmly, your smile softening the hard lines of his face. He hesitated at the door, unsure how to bridge the gap between the chaos of his world and the peace you offered.

- “Rough night,” he admitted, his voice carrying the weight of exhaustion. You didn’t press him for details, simply guiding him to sit with you on the couch. Your hands found his, and he marveled at how steady they felt against his own trembling ones.

- “You ground me,” he confessed quietly, his dual-toned voice raw with emotion. “You make it easier to face the chaos.” It was rare for him to be so open, but you had a way of coaxing the vulnerable parts of him out into the light.

- That night, as you both lay in bed, he found himself studying your face in the dim light. For a man so accustomed to uncertainty, the clarity of his feelings for you was both terrifying and exhilarating.

- “You’re my constant,” he whispered, his fingers brushing against your cheek. And in that moment, Harvey Dent, the man and the villain, knew that he had something worth fighting for, no matter how fractured he might be.

Edward Nygma aka. The Riddler

- Edward’s day had been an exercise in frustration. His latest riddle had stumped even himself, his henchmen were incompetent, and Batman had gotten far too close to his plans. He prided himself on his intellect, but today, the cracks in his carefully constructed facade were starting to show.

- As he paced his lair, the thought of you crept into his mind. He scoffed at first—what place did affection have in a mind as brilliant as his? But the memory of your laugh, your wit, and the way you looked at him like he was more than just his intellect gnawed at the edges of his focus.

- When he finally returned home, his usual sharp tongue was dulled by exhaustion. You greeted him with your usual warmth, and he found himself momentarily speechless. “Rough day?” you asked, tilting your head in that way that always made him want to tell you everything.

- “You could say that,” he replied, collapsing into the chair across from you. You didn’t press him, instead offering him a knowing smile as you brought him a cup of tea. It was such a simple act, yet it brought a warmth to his chest he couldn’t quite explain.

- As the night wore on, he found himself talking—about the failures, the frustrations, and the gnawing doubt that maybe he wasn’t as infallible as he liked to think. You listened patiently, your quiet confidence in him a stark contrast to his own insecurities.

- “You have a way of making me feel... human,” he admitted, his voice soft and uncharacteristically vulnerable. It was a rare moment of honesty from a man who thrived on puzzles and misdirection.

- As you both sat together in the quiet, he realized that for all his riddles and schemes, you were the one thing in his life that wasn’t a mystery. And that thought terrified him as much as it comforted him.

Oswald Cobblepot aka. The Penguin

- Oswald’s day had been a disaster. The Iceberg Lounge had been raided, his business deals had fallen through, and he’d had to deal with more than his fair share of incompetence from his lackeys. By the time the day was over, he was seething with frustration, his usual charm replaced with cold anger.

- As he sat alone in his office, nursing a glass of whiskey, his thoughts wandered to you. He prided himself on his independence, but tonight, the thought of you waiting for him brought an unfamiliar sense of comfort.

- When he finally returned home, he was met with the sight of you waiting for him, your expression soft with concern. “Long day?” you asked gently. He grunted in response, too tired to offer his usual witty retort.

- You didn’t push him to talk, simply guiding him to sit beside you and placing a hand on his shoulder. The tension in his body began to ease under your touch, and for a moment, he allowed himself to be vulnerable.

- “It’s exhausting,” he admitted, his voice low. “Always having to be one step ahead, always having to fight for every inch.” You listened quietly, your presence a soothing balm to his frayed nerves.

- As the night wore on, he found himself opening up more than he ever had before. “You’re the one thing in my life that isn’t a struggle,” he confessed, his voice raw with emotion. “And I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

- That night, as he held you close, he realized just how much you meant to him. For all his schemes and ambitions, you were the one thing he’d fight to keep, the one person who made him feel like more than just the Penguin.

[justwinginglife]

Hi I got a weird story with soshiro hoshina if you're up for it, so y/n and some other officers come over from America and y/n also has a live Kaiju suit now here where it gets weird I love the idea of mates so what if the to kaijus mate but mated soshiro and y/n as well and it makes them horny now I'm my mind if would be fun to also add the she gets pregnant but that part is up to you thanks and have fun.

I will post a part two of this story later whenever I finish writing it, but I felt bad that this request has been sitting in my inbox for so long and I love it so much so I thought I'd post it now. This will be NSFW if you couldn't tell by the request. Sorry it's taken me this long to get back to all my Hoshina requests, thanks for waiting!

Intoxication

Keeping control over a numbered kaiju suit -let alone a sentient one- was already a handful, one that only a few talented and strong individuals could manage, but controlling a sentient suit that was horny? Damn near impossible. 

You’d come to realize this when you made the long journey from America to Japan for an international training conference, and made the acquaintance of one Soshiro Hoshina, clad in his kaiju armor. His suit couldn’t have been more different from yours. The Japanese had focused on honing his skills, on making the suit light and efficient for his use. The Americans had focused on honing your strength, making the suit bulky and brutally powerful. The only thing the suits shared in common was their sentience and, much to yours and Hoshina’s misfortune, an aligned mating cycle.  

You’d never believed in love at first sight, but your kaiju certainly did and your shared connection with it emphasized whatever meager attraction you might have had for Hoshina upon first meeting him to the point of insanity. When you were left squirming with salacious thoughts of him, when you were left shaking from the sheer intensity of your feelings for him, feelings that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, you blamed your kaiju’s hormones; there was no other explanation for this sudden whirlwind of emotions. 

You thought you might be the only one struggling, but Hoshina’s turmoil made itself known soon enough. It was hard to ignore the blush that was creeping up his cheeks, or the sweat that was trailing down his neck, or the way that he avoided so much as a passing touch, the way that his eyes averted themselves as though it were the only thing keeping his desires at bay.

And you were more than happy to avoid him as well, anything to maintain your sanity, anything to maintain your dignity, but your kaiju had other plans. Your kaiju could smell him a mile away and when you needed to go to the bathroom, it wouldn’t allow you to relieve yourself unless he was also headed in that direction, and when you wanted to relax, it yanked you out of bed because he was going for a run nearby. It became damn near impossible to avoid him. 

So you caved in.

And soon, you and Hoshina were fucking in the park like a bunch of wild animals.

“Did you… say you-“ He panted against your neck, “Were from the… special ops division?” 

You shivered as his breath grazed your skin. “Yeah… and you’re… with the-“ You tightened your legs around his hips, steadying yourself as he thrust into you again, “Th-Third D-Division, right?”

He grunted his confirmation. 

“Well… again,” You gasped for air, “…nice to meet you.”

He chuckled at that. “Oh I think we’re way past meeting. But likewise.” His lips found your neck again, capturing the sensitive skin in between teeth and tongue. 

“Less talking and more fucking,” Your Kaiju whined into your ear, flicking its tail faster against his tail as if to show you a proper demonstration. While you’d been having this whole, ridiculous interaction, both of your Kaijus had been in their own world, lost to primal instincts and hormonal urges.

“We are fucking,” You exclaimed, exasperated.

Hoshina exchanged a knowing smile with you. “Yours too, huh? Mine says if I’m not going to make you come, I should just hand in my resignation now.”

You teased your fingers through his hair. “Well? Are you going to make me come?”

A smirk curled at the edge of his lips, “Is this you begging?”

“Is this you offering?”

His violet eyes burned bright with lust. “This is me promising.” 

He readjusted his grip on your hips and pressed you against the tree harder, steadying you before driving his cock in deeper. You let out a groan as he speared a path through your wet heat, his engorged tip ramming against your most sensitive bundle of nerves until you couldn’t help but clench your legs around his waist so tightly you thought you might snap him in half. Your head rolled back, allowing the cool night air to plant goosebumps along the length of your neck. He took it as an opportunity to banish the cold with the searing heat of his lips. His efforts, combined with the oh-so-thrilling possibility of being caught by any passing stranger who happened to wander into your little fuck fest at this time of night, all at once made you feel as though you were a volcano on the verge of eruption, insides all molten and trembling and ready. 

“Thought you were gonna come for me. Show me what a good girl looks like, yeah?” He purred into your ear, nipping at the lobe.

“H-Hoshina! F-fuuuuck…” You dug your nails into his back as heat shot through your veins. A satisfied moan surged up your throat as you let the euphoria overtake you.  

He followed shortly afterwards, pulling out to paint the ground with bursts of his cum. 

And after that night, nothing was off the table. 

After joint training sessions that made you nothing short of riled up and ravenous every time you watched him excel at literally anything and everything, wearing that ridiculously tight shirt of his, you’d meet in the showers to blow off the extra steam. He’d fuck you against the tiled walls until your echoing cries of rapture had everyone convinced a ghost was haunting the base. And of course, he encouraged the idea.                                                         

There was even that time you hid under the table at a conference meeting (Hoshina, as your accomplice, took the liberty of explaining away your absence so as to ease any suspicions) and when the meeting commenced, you blew him underneath the table. You still remember how the officers whispered to each other their surprise at seeing how enthusiastic the Vice Captain of the Third Division was when it came to specific topics on the meeting agenda. No one had a clue that Hoshina had no actual opinion on the matter of what color combat suits the Defense Force should adopt next or when the next cross divisional competition would be. And how could they know that his passionate outbursts were merely the result of your thorough ministrations? Hoshina could be outlandish at times, but for the most part, he was known to be by the book. No one would expect him to indulge in such lewd pastimes and especially not during an official meeting. 

Eventually, you got to know him so well, which veins to trace with your tongue, what rhythm got him aching, what words to murmur to send him over the edge, that your relationship with him became more than just a quick fix; it became addiction. Now you were completely hooked on one another, on the feeling of your fingers entangled in his hair, or the feeling of his lips pressing reverent kisses to your breasts, or the feeling of your body arching beneath him, or the feeling of his hands caressing your hips. Now, your behavior was completely without excuse. Now, you couldn’t blame it on the Kaiju hormones. Now, it was pure lust at its finest. 

And you loved every second of it. 

“L-lemme… h-have it…p-please Shiro…need you so bad…” Your pleaded words fell on deaf ears as you continued to dry hump his thigh (though it could hardly be considered dry the way your arousal dribbled all over his leg).

He grinned like the smug bastard that he was, hands still perched on your hips, guiding your movements. “But you have me, darling. I’m right here.” As if to remind you of his presence, he ran his thumb over your clit, teasingly. 

You let out a pathetic whine in complaint, but thrust yourself against his one, measly finger all the same, longing for any ounce of pleasure he could give you (as if he hadn’t already made you come on his fingers several times tonight). “You know what I want… stupid Shiro…quit t-teasing.”

“One more time. Come for me one more time and then I’ll let you have it.”

“C-can’t…come anymore…” You blubbered, tears skipping down your cheeks as you desperately chased your release. 

“Oh- I think you can, baby. One more and then I’ll give you what you want. Or do you not want it anymore?” He purred, lips ghosting lightly over your skin. 

“Just o-one more. One. And then I need you.” You groaned, grinding down harder against his muscled thigh until you felt that familiar electricity shoot through your veins. This time, you squirt all over his leg.

And, boy, did it work wonders for his libido. 

He’d driven you to orgasm time and time again, but he had yet to see you squirt. He hadn’t even thought you physically capable. Tonight, though, he’d been particularly menacing the way he’d teased you to the brink of exhaustion, and it was a pleasant surprise for you both to discover that you were, in fact, capable of such a feat if put under the right kind of pressure (and pleasure). If that didn’t boost a man’s ego, he didn’t know what did.

In an instant, he had you pinned to the bed, back buried in the mattress as his familiar weight sunk down on you. He pinned your wrists above your head, only bending down to whisper, “There’s a good girl. So pretty when you squirt for me. Let me see it again, won’t you,” before he drove himself balls deep into your cunt. 

He always slid in easily, but tonight, he was particularly proud of the way you split open so smoothly for him, so willing and ready, fresh arousal painting your walls. “Always so wet for me, aren’t you, baby? God, you feel so good.” He was always burning with desire for you, always one tick away from exploding, but even then, you’d never seen his eyes like this before tonight and you’d never heard his voice so thick and seeped with need. Like he wouldn’t make it to sunrise if he didn’t drill his cock right into your cervix. 

All these late nights and early morning’s, and memorizing the way his head fell back when he groaned, and memorizing the ripples in his muscles when he flexed, and memorizing the crinkle of his eyes when they squeezed shut, and memorizing the rumble in his throat when he chuckled, and you’d still never seen him like this. 

“Mmm…w-wanna…” He rammed his hips against yours, speed increasing in desperation, “F-fuck….w-wanna…c-come inside you.” He gasped out.

Your eyes widened. You’d done nothing but fuck this man day and night, but up until this point, he’d never come inside you before. He’d always been too careful. He was Soshiro to you now, but he was still the Vice Captain. He was a responsible man. And you were just some woman from across the seas. He wouldn’t dare risk getting you pregnant. Or so you thought. But apparently the rules were different tonight. 

“Soshiro…you sure?”

His jaw clenched as though it were physically paining him to have to hold back. “C-can’t take it…have to…need to…come…you’re so…perfect…fuck you’re…perfect…I wanna…” His rhythm began to stutter as he felt his control slipping.

Now, maybe it was the overexposure to kaiju hormones talking, but in that moment, you’d never wanted anything so badly in your entire life than for this man to spill himself inside you. So you did the only thing you could think of. You curled your legs tighter around him, yanking him closer to you, before cooing, “Mmm you wanna breed me, daddy? Is that it?”

He hissed through his teeth, his grip tightening around your hips as he struggled to maintain control. “You gonna let me breed you, baby?”

“Soshiro. Come for me.” 

Three words and the dam broke. 

He buried his face against your neck as he filled you to the brim (and then some) with his overflowing seed. When the building warmth in your core began to sweep you away again, back to that wonderful, toe-curling euphoria, and you squirt all over his pelvis, he cussed under his breath and came again. 

You blushed and snuggled up against him as he panted for dear life. “Didn’t realize my squirting was such a turn on,” You mumbled, half embarrassed.

“God, everything you do is a turn on.” He groaned before enveloping you in his arms and pulling you against him tightly. 

“Mmm, time for cuddling today, I see.” You melted into his embrace.

“You know if I had my way, we’d be cuddling all the damn time.” He grumbled, nuzzling even closer. 

You laughed at that. “With what free time, Vice Captain?”

He sighed. He knew you were right. You were both of high rank; there was always something for you to do- people to lead, people to save. It was a miracle he’d been able to see you as often as he had been lately. But some part of him knew it was because of the joint conference that he now found the time to enjoy acts as intimate as these. 

When it was all over and you went back home to America, he wasn’t sure that fleeting moments in the locker room or in his office would be enough to cement his presence in your life. Would anything be enough? Would you remember him in a couple months? Or would he be nothing more than a good time you had overseas?

He frowned at the thought and decided to push it aside for now and sink further into your embrace. 

“Hey, don’t go getting all depressed on me now. I’m glad we get this time together today.” You ran your hand up and down his back comfortingly. You weren’t sure why he was getting down all of a sudden, but it made your heart ache to see him looking like this. He always had a way of getting to you, whether it was aches or butterflies. 

“Stay with me tonight.” He whispered.

You froze. He’d never asked you to stay the night before. Sure, you’d stayed late before, talking long after you’d both finished, tracing maps on each other’s skin while you exchanged stories, but you’d never stayed. There was too great a risk of staying. Too great a risk that someone would see you together, and an even greater risk that once you stayed, you’d never leave. 

But tonight, he was asking, and you found it difficult to say no. “Alright. What should we do tonight? Talk about memories again? Our plans? You still haven’t told me if you ever think you’ll run for Captain.”

He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I was thinking I could make us dinner.” 

Your eyes lit up like the stars. “Dinner sounds amazing. Sex and aftercare, who knew you were such a gentleman?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Hey- it’s not like we’re always sneaking in quickies. Sometimes I like to just…be with you.”

“Well, Vice Captain Hoshina, I like to be with you too. But I like you better when you’ve got food for me, so chop chop.” You teased with a wide grin. 

He shook his head, laughing to himself. “Two servings of Hoshina style dinner, coming right up.”

And suddenly you weren’t simply two people drawn to each other out of necessity, out of basest desires. You were at times fellow soldier’s in arms, you were at times good friends, you were at times trusted colleagues, and tonight, you were everything and more. You were lovers and you were happy. Filled to the brim with food and adoration. And you fell asleep in his arms like they were only ever made to hold you in them. 

Everything was perfect.

Until you woke up the next morning and realized you’d forgotten to take your birth control the night before. 

Well shit.

Taglist: @pixelcafe-network @ouiouimochi @inkytypewriter @minasfwoopyponytail

[heesimp]

please never stop writing about heehoon omg

scenario for u muah

warnings: heehoon fucking lol, not proofread

Sunghoon and Heeseung, for once, have no plans for the weekend and elected to remain indoors for the sole reason of being too horny. They’ve been fooling around for the better half of this week when work isn’t consuming them. Sunghoon likes seeing Heeseung get his first taste of sex without girls involved. It’s like his own personalized porn fantasy.

Heeseung’s cock is pressed against Sunghoon’s on his bed while their lips lock in a battle for passion. Their bare bodies are warm to the touch on this Saturday night and both of them elected to keep their phones in the living room while they fool around in Heeseung’s room. Their cocks are hard and leaking, with Heeseung’s asshole lubed and prepped by his best friend’s tongue and fingers, and he wants nothing more than to feel his wrinkled hole stretched around Sunghoon.

“Love how desperate you get,” the younger boy mutters against Heeseung with a smirk on his lips. Heeseung jerks his hips until Sunghoon’s cock is situation between his ass cheeks. He can’t help that he grinds against Sunghoon’s wet, hard cock. It’s too sexy not to.

“You bring out something in me, I guess.”

Sunghoon grips Heeseung’s asscheeks and spreads them apart while he thrusts his hips to match the speed. “Can’t wait to fuck your ass. I’ll mold your hole to my dick.”

Heeseung grunts. “I wanna fuck your ass too.”

“You think you can?”

He rolls his eye. “You know I can. How many girls have I fucked in front of you?”

Sunghoon chuckles. “Oh yeah, I remember. You like to fuck hard.”

“I’ll fuck you hard.” Sunghoon tuts.

“One day. But right now, you’re gonna ride my cock like a good boy.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Heeseung arches his back and sits upright while Sunghoon spreads his legs wider. He reaches underneath to find Heeseung’s hole and rubs the pads of his fingers of it until the older boy moans in contentment, his eyes finding Sunghoon’s before giving him a lopsided smile. Sunghoon sticks a finger in and watches as the boy on top of him loses his sanity at the pleasure of his shallow, soft thrusts.

“Ready for my cock?” Heeseung reached behind to pump Sunghoon, who’s wet beyond compare with his precum and the lube from earlier. “

“Fuck me, Hoon.”

Sunghoon pulls his finger out of Heeseung and grips his own cock, sliding the tip over his friend’s hole to gather the lubricant and spread it around. Heeseung’s brow furrows as he looks down and touches the ridges of Sunghoon’s chest while he feels his cock enter his asshole.

“So fuckin’ tight,” Sunghoon grunts as he pushes an inch inside. His tip disappears and Heeseung clenches his ass, which makes Sunghoon grunt louder.

The music in the background, the playlist Sunghoon and Heeseung put on when they’re hooking up with girls, makes them horny beyond compare. Sunghoon grips Heeseung’s asscheeks as the older boy starts to sink until he’s halfway full. He doesn’t dare to fuck Heeseung the way he wants to yet, allowing him to adjust to the feeling of a hard dick inside of his asshole. Heeseung jerks his own cock off as he slowly rises and falls onto Sunghoon, who looks up at him like a saint of some kind.

“Pretty soon, you’ll be able to take a nice pounding.”

Heeseung moans. “Want that.”

“I’ll need to train you first.”

“Fuck.” Heeseung lets go of his cock and reaches behind him to cup Sunghoon’s balls between his fingers and smiles at the boy when he hears him moan.

Sunghoon starts to thrust himself inside of Heeseung but keeps himself restrained for now. His ass is so tight and warm like something snuggling him in the best way possible. Sunghoon’s grip on Heeseung’s asscheeks makes it easier to hold him in place while his cock bounces in and out of his asshole.

“Filthy fucking asshole,” Sunghoon moans. “You like my cock in it, don’t you?”

“I fucking love it.” Heeseung squeezes Sunghoon’s balls, which makes him fuck into his asshole quicker. “I want you to use my ass.”

“Yeah? Gonna let me abuse your pretty hole? Let my big dick pound you like I want to?”

“Yes! Fuck.”

Sunghoon laughs incredulously. “You’re gonna make me cum already.”

“Cum inside me.”

“Want a creampie in your ass?”

Heeseung nods frantically and holds his cock in his hand, jerking it furiously as Sunghoon continues to fuck inside him. “Cum in my ass, Hoon. Fuck, do it right now.”

“I’ll give you my cum. Shit, shit.”

The older boy feels Sunghoon’s white ropes release in his asshole and it makes his own seed spill onto his chest. Heeseung’s cum paints Sunghoon like a cherished painting to the point where it dips into every ridge. Sunghoon throbs within Heeseung and neither of them can complain about the feeling of fucking your best friend when nobody knows.

Heeseung rises until Sunghoon’s softening cock slips out and dips down to capture his lips into a soft kiss.

“We should fuck and watch porn next,” Heeseung mutters against Sunghoon’s lips. “You should let me fuck your asshole too.”

[shorthaltsjester]

obsessed with the fact that bell's hells won that fight explicitly because of their reliance on the gods. imogen and laudna both vocally saying 'thank you matron' at the beginnings of that combat as they use new skills or spells they've refreshed, orym wielding his sword, braius wielding his divine power, the entire party instilled with a hero's feast prepared by a cleric of the wildmother, imogen using power granted by the arch heart to bring down predathos -- an entity that has been described as welcoming her home, offering a womb she has longed to return to, her as its kin -- in imagery evoking the moment where the gods too decided to turn their backs on their home when faced with the monstrosity they were tied to, that they'd help bring about (something something, the arch heart gave mortals magic and imogen gave predathos its vessel). and the fact that bell's hells has slowly grown more reliant on the idea that predathos does not hunger for mortals -- something they in fact scoffed at when it came from liliana and ludinus' mouths -- predathos took several of them in his maw and tried to consume them.

viewing the story as one of a group of people predominantly blinded to the reality of their situations by the fog of their traumatized feelings -- as i've chosen to do for the sake of my sanity listening to them go on and on about gods that never gave them a lick in the same breath that they complain that the gods have too much power -- it is so extremely poetic that orym cut down ludinus with a sword blessed by the wild mother only for bell's hells to retread the path ludinus set up for himself. it is extremely ironic for a group of people who have implicitly raised complaints about the inherent manipulation that comes with the god's existence to come up with a plan that is explicit manipulation, demanding the gods become mortal or die [which to be clear, extremely interesting plan with interesting consequences that would be compelling to see! absolutely dogshit reasoning skills and moral assessment. but it is continually ASTOUNDING to me that a campaign that gets treated by some as the height of critical role's sociopolitical philosophical exploration features so many PCs who struggle (and not in the fruitful, developmental way but in the head-in-hands, can this student talk to the prof during office hours so I don't have to feel the second hand embarrassment of them making it obvious they haven't ever attended a previous lecture or done the class readings way) with ideas found in any first year philosophy course].

and to be clear this is not me devaluing the role of bell's hells in actually fighting the fight -- but all they've done is the same thing the gods were already doing, keeping predathos sealed, except now its in a volatile-at-best mortal who is on borrowed time re: being lost once again to its power. the only suggestion the hells have that this might be a justified and right course of action is the support of two gods -- one who has proven themself to be okay with the idea of death until it actually arrives before and the other one who is the only being on record who actually chose to be a deity -- out of a much larger pantheon, and their personal inclinations to agree with the ideology of a man who they have claimed to ardently disagree with but it turns out that was just because of his methods, I guess. scattershotting catalysts for change and hoping that change results in a Better World just. on its own (almost like. idk. fate) that you haven't even suggested practical (I'd even take theoretical ones atp) methods to achieve beyond Get Rid of a bunch of beings who are involved in actually extreme amounts of metaphysical and magical infrastructure isn't actually a course of action, its a course of chaos, and that is in fact worse than things staying the way they are if 'the way things are' that you keep referring to has only been shown to, currently, be that you and your friends feel sad and a little miffed that the gods you haven't offered anything to are only willing to do things for you when you serve them. unlike you, a group notorious for the way you do things for people you don't know without asking anything in return (this is sarcasm, if that wasn't clear).

anyway, I will continue to be frustrated by the lack of grounding for either (a) bell's hells having actually incisive and contextualized criticisms of the gods (either their own or from the actual mouths of the 'little guys' they are allegedly fighting for) or (b) more engagement with the fact that bell's hells as a party are not interested in making the morally right choice, they are at Best looking for a morally neutral choice. that said, if I ignore the actual story c3 has portrayed, the last few episodes have been a great wrap-up to a story about how singleminded trauma can make you and how that can lead you to place where there's no longer any Good choices to make, only potentially satisfying ones, where the question of who to satisfy takes the reigns over what is best.

[weebsinstash]

Omg more Viktor and Jayce pls that was so good

I keep gravitating back towards the scene where they have their first huge disagreement, the whole "I'M from the Undercity" conversation, and I still feel like a disabled Reader who is from the Undercity is one of my favorite routes to go to pair Viktor up with

I keep feeling drawn to scenarios where Reader meets Viktor but not Jayce and you inadvertently, unintentionally, cause a big rift between the two of them because Jayce says or does something fucked up to you that stabs Viktor in the back in the same way as that conversation

Like could you even imagine if Viktor is already forming feelings for you and here's Jayce, talking about how he doesn't trust you, you aren't like the two of them, you're too anxious and twitchy like you're planning something, how Viktor needs to stop letting you hang around. Just envision in your mind Jayce just REALLY REALLY being riled up and saying something like, "I'm tired of having to worry about them stealing something while they're constantly just limping around--" and here's Viktor immediately coming to not just your defense but his own, "'Limping around'?LIMPING AROUND? Is that really what I heard tou say just now?!" like he's absolutely furious, because uh, what the FUCK is that supposed to mean, Jayce?

Jayce getting jealous when Viktor sidelines a project they're working on together because he wants to help you with a brace or he's inventing some sort of mobility aid for you, and Jayce being absolutely convinced you're taking advantage of Viktor and will stab him in the back. Jayce being jealous and feeling replaced when Viktor is constantly spending time with you to troubleshoot the aids he's built for you. Jayce really itching to work on this project but he can't find Viktor anywhere and he's running all over town and he catches you two... having lunch together. He's jealous. He's angry. He's feelin' a lil possessive for sure.

But also like. Reader feeling... insecure when Viktor heals his leg. I was just reading that this man is 5'10??? So you go from seeing him using his cane, kind of slouching at times, to having him stand at his full height before you, completely healed? It has you feeling... small in more ways than one to see that he's just... gotten better while YOU haven't, or maybe never will. Absolutely 100% you're happy for him but... you just wish you weren't dragging him down more than ever before now that you and him... are on even less equal footing than before

But then I also think of how Viktor's journey slowly corrupts him, or distorts his thoughts, and how a yandere obsession could... pile on top of that

He's healed his leg, he's feeling the rush and the high of running and having a fully functional body for the first time in his life. His chronic pain is gone. He keeps his cane but he's no longer REQUIRED to use it. He's high on life itself, like the entire world has opened up to him all over again. There are so many possibilities now. He feels like he can do anything he can put his mind to. And, of course, YOU are one of the first things he can think about. Now he can do so much more to help you! Protect you! Eliminate any dangers to you!

I couldn't decide if Viktor would want to heal the Reader's leg much like his own or if he would just keep you as you are. I mean, like if he could choose, make a distinction between helping that one singular part of yourself versus what he was doing to people like Salo. Maybe, through some sort of means, you were also touched by the Arcane, and you're able to keep your sanity while it heals your fragile body

(Mmm.... yandere Viktor who can remember you across timelines or gets glimpses of other realities... I love me a good timeline/multiverse "I'll keep going through this loop as many times as it takes to save you" oh wait shit you know what just happened, unlocked a new love for Ekko, we're gonna come back for him later)

Reader meeting Old Viktor or meeting him much in the same way young Jayce did because Viktor still loves you across timelines and he wants to keep every possible vestige of you safe, maybe with you even meeting a version of him who only learned the error of his ways after you had died. Old Viktor giving you something for protection from your current Viktor, maybe even giving you the rune or key to keeping your sanity to be safely healed by the arcane. It being Reader's destiny that meet Viktor and you both change each other's lives. But. Also. Old Viktor giving you something that actually helps young Viktor capture you or something though, too 👀 old Viktor needing to keep the loop going and being the first step on your long journey of becoming the apple of his own eye.

The absolute timeline fuckery potential of the catalyst to you meeting Viktor, being fucking Viktor. Old Viktor gives you some trinket and when you meet "your" version for the first time, the trinket is the first thing he notices, or something like, you drop The Thingy and it's while you're chasing that thing as it rolls or bounces or whatever, that's what causes you to collide with Viktor and meet him for the first time

Ngl.... the slightly mentally broken version of Jayce that's all scruffy and lugs that hammer around is kinda the only version of him I find like, HOT hot, and god 🥴 he has, juicier plot potential than the earlier versions of Jayce as well

To just spit it out, Viktor going through his whole Glorious Evolution and having his takeover but, deciding to keep Jayce and yourself as you are. Mentally broken newly born gods can have their beloved humans for forced companions/pets, as a treat. You and Jayce growing closer in your captivity. Jayce with everything he's lost developing new unhealthy attachments to one of the only things he has left: you. Viktor who may or may not be varying levels of indifferent or outright approving if Jayce were to be physically affectionate with you, developing to outright intimacy.

Who knows, maybe Jayce is sent through some Inception-style Homura-level timeline fuckery where he either learns the importance to the timeline and fate of the world that you're kept safe (which he might take to extreme degrees in effort of trying to do good) or he may just be driven mad with grief seeing so many outcomes where you die, and it's through these branching choices and timelines that he develops deeper feelings for you

But also!!! The version of Viktor who is going around healing people who has not gone full evil borderline cyborg yet also had his own dynamic to him! Live with your yandere lover on his peaceful hippie commune while everyone, like, grows crops for the needy and does borderline habitat for humanity level charity stuff but also there's this constant underlying unshakeable feeling everyone is a little off and cold, like physically cold? Like imagine you and Viktor having a touch-heavy love language because he's been your friend and helping you with your leg and a lot of that involved him needing to touch you, but also for you to trust him and lean on him and the other way around, and once Jayce revives him, the very first thing you notice when you hold his hand again for the first time is how much colder he is. And thus everyone else in the commune has that same sort of... 'something is off' hairs on the back of your neck 'this is the kind of shit dogs bark at' just all around unexplainable bad feeling (because somehow you can subconsciously sense thst everyone is. You know. Kind of. Kind of dead and it's not entirely clear if these are the original people or somehow copies of their consciousnesses)

Wait what's that? You say you don't feel comfortable being boxed in all the time not being able to leave the area and the vibes are honestly just creepy bad here and you're not exactly sure you agree with some of the stuff Viktor is talking about anymore? Did I say "peaceful hippie commune"? Sorry, I meant to say, "dedicated cult hivemind where the second Viktor even remotely suspects you of ANYTHING he has both the people keeping an eye open and he is watching you through their eyes and if you make it known to ANYONE that you're going to leave or escape or whatever the situation is, everyone will drop everything to stop you like it's the fucking Truman Show"

Some HEINOUS fuckshit like, you've got precious items to help you survive or escape hidden under your clothes and you're about to make your getaway and, oh a voice behind you! It's a little girl Viktor healed :) and she's oh so innocently and sweetly asking what you're doing and how nervous you are makes it immediately obvious that you're up to something. You laugh and try and make up a believable lie as soon as you can, "oh, i was feeling really bored so I wanted to jog around!" and she's just like "oh okay! But the jogging paths are the other way, though?" and she's being completely innocent about it. But. You take like. Just a little toooo long to respond, and suddenly she's just, POSTURE SUDDENLY JERKING UPRIGHT, the voice of a full grown man rising up from her throat,

"Please turn back, my love. I would hate to have to chase you"

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon Ghost Riley x F!Reader

Getting so worked up during a celebration for Price's birthday that Simon has to take you in the bathroom of the bar you are both at just so you'll calm down

"Just couldn't fuckin' wait till we got back, yeah baby?" Simon growls in your ear with his warm breath, lips close to the side of your head as you both stand cramped inside that tiny bathroom stall as he desperately works your cunt with his fingers. "My fuckin' needy little kitten, shit you're just grinding away on my thick fuckin' fingers, aren't ya? Needed it that bad?"

It wasn't your fault honestly, he knew what the liquor did to your libido and yet he let you have shot after shot to keep pace with the boys...I mean it was a celebration after all, but still.

If he didn't want to be knuckles deep between your petals he should have pulled the reigns long ago...and yet maybe this was what he wanted in the first place. It wasn't like he was dismissing your discrete advances all night, even taking you by the hand to the dingy bar bathroom himself.

Price's birthday wasn't always able to be celebrated, work did have to come first unfortunately, but it just so happened that everything fell into place this year and so the entire group gathered in the local bar to let go and have fun.

And here you were with Simon having you own extra bit of fun, though this one wasn't for sharing...

Using your bandana that you had worn in your hair tonight as makeshift cuffs, Simon had your hands tied behind your head so that you wouldn't be tempted to stop the work his fingers were currently doing down below to get you off.

It had to be quick and distractions wouldn't help.

"Sorry, baby," you whimpered, mouth agape as heavy breaths exited your lips. "Just fucking need you so bad sometimes I can't see straight. And you are just looking so good tonight...was having trouble not just riding you at the table."

Oh he was absolutely gonna give you hell for it, but there was no doubt that he loved every fucking second of just how needy you could get for him. Just hearing that lilting whine in your voice, begging and pleading with him to take you in any way, shape, or form he could sent him up the goddamn wall.

"They probably all know what we're doin' in here, ya know that sweetheart," he said, thick accent making your skin tingle and your clit throb. "They're probably chucklin' under their breaths about how we weren't slick at all, breakin' away from the group like that. I bet they're whisperin' about how you're fuckin' just takin' it all, whatever I give ya."

You shook your head, eyes closed as he slipped another large finger into your already soaked panties and up into your core. "Don't care," you breathed, "even if they call me a whore, they better put your name in front of it and I won't deny it."

The plan was just to get you off quick so that you could finish out the night with the gang and then take you back later to his to do you proper, but fuck the way his cock was straining against the fabric of his jeans that wasn't gonna be enough.

"F-fuck baby, why do you always feel so fucking good?" you again whimpered quietly, so far gone between the booze and your lovers fingers that sanity had left you completely.

You were just so fucking wet, looking so goddamn voluptuous with all those juicy curves, saying all the right things to make him fall apart. As much as he tried to stay sane, it wasn't working, so change of plans...otherwise he was gonna be a fucking mess and that just wouldn't do.

That's how it always went, didn't it? He should've known he could keep himself out of you; not even if he tried.

"Ya want me inside ya?" Simon asked hurriedly out of the blue, as if he didn't already know the answer, and instantly your eyes shot open as your heart nearly burst from your chest.

"God, yes," you answered without hesitation. "Please Simon, fill me to the brim..."

A quick scramble to undo his pants, buckle jingling and denim rubbing against itself as he shimmied the damned things down enough to release himself, his cock already hard and pulsating, needing to enter you now.

Using the toilet paper dispenser as a makeshift ledge, Simon picked you up and set you on it with a prayer that it would stay bolted to the stall wall long enough the he could get you both off before it broke. He hated that any part of you had to touch anything in here, who the fuck knew how clean it was, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Your thighs instantly locked around his hips as you waited for him to align the head of his cock with your entrance. "Gotta make this quick" he groaned, the head of his member slipping itself through your petals.

And there it was, the initial thrust that always split you open as you took every inch inside until he ran out of inches to give. Christ, how fucking amazing it was to be so full of him; that fucking girth was more than enough.

"G-god-d-damn," he choked out, his hands digging harshly into your hips as he clung on for dear life, trying to not cum so fast. "Your gonna be the fuckin' death of me sweetheart."

You were already soaked and he had no trouble slamming into you over and over again, his pace quick and intense as at any moment someone could come walking through the door and hear you two going at it like a couple of teenagers, screwing wherever the mood struck.

Over and over his cock thrust into your core, the wet sounds of skin slapping against one another music to his ears that only fueled his passions further. You were a dream, a fucking vision of lustful beauty, and the way you felt only matched.

What was he supposed to do, not be obsessed? Fuck that, you were the best goddamn thing to happen to the manky bastard and it made him absolutely crazy about you.

Shit the pressure felt divine as the angle of his penetration made certain to engage your sensitive clit as well. Mix that with the tingling in your limbs from the alcohol and you were already dancing dangerously close to the edge of your orgasm.

"Yes, y-yes," you repeated in increasing volume, breasts bouncing up and down against his chest as he pounded into you.

"That's it sweetheart," he praised, "come on. Let go for me baby."

The wall of the stall shaking, the creak of the paper dispenser beneath you, the relentless place of Simon's hips snapping against yours was all to much.

"Cum with me," you begged.

"I'm already there luv," he replied quickly, "just let go. Come on pretty girl, come on."

In and out, in and out of your tight cunt a few more times, his abs clenching as Simon's own orgasm popped off and you were gone, crying out as your body shook from the release of pressure like a least in the wind.

Shit you saw fucking stars with that one.

As you both rode out the end of your pleasure together, that's when you heard the door open and a pair of heavy booted footsteps cross the floor. Simon's large palm cupped over the entirety of your mouth to stifle the last of your orgasmic moans, his cock still buried within you as whoever it was went about their business, taking a piss as was evident by the sound.

The urinal flushed after a few moments, followed by footsteps to the sink. A quick wash and the both of you thought the coast would soon be clear and you'd be able to finish up and head out.

"Be sure and come back to join us when your done, yeah?" the voice of your captain sounded through the tiny room; you'd been caught red handed. "Would hate to see you two leave early...again."

Well fuck, guess the cat was out of the bag now. Simon chuckled as he leaned in and gave you a kiss as the door to the bathroom shut, leaving you two alone in silence again.

"Oops," Simon whispered against your lips before he planted another heavy, greedy kiss to them, "too bad I'm not sorry."

[rista-senpai]

Distant hearts

pairing- Nagumo Yoichi x reader

summary: you are Takamura’s granddaughter, a well-trained assassin who never got the chance to shine. That was until one day, when The Order observed your skills and offered you a position in the association.

All new colleagues seemed happy, everyone but him. His dark coat, eyes, and hair all indicated how much he loved hiding. And how much he loved hating you, the opposite of him, who he considered had no right to be there, also, the one who hates how you make his heart skip a beat.

tags & warnings-> reader is 19, Nagumo is 27, age gap, turned into a series, office au, forbidden love, enemies to lovers, playboy x sweetheart, angst and smut, Takamura is still everyone’s nightmare except Nagumo’s, mentions of blood, reader has awfully little experience, also there might be some Shishiba x reader here and there

status: finished

credits: fanart by @/chachaxx_x on X

previous part & next part

CHAPTER FOUR

Who would've guessed that being on a mission with Mr. Tease-Until-You-Snap would actually feel... kinda nice? Not in a "let's get married and retire to a cottage" way, but in the he holds your hand like he means it kind of way. Publicly, Nagumo was a dream—kissing your cheek, brushing lips against your temple, whispering something flirty into your ear just loud enough for your target to hear. His arm wrapped around your waist like he owned you.

And damn, the IT magnate you were assigned to eliminate? Head-over-heels the second he laid eyes on you. You played your part perfectly—sharp wit, that coy smile, dropping clever remarks that left him completely hooked. Even now, playing golf with the guy watching your every move like you were the prize at the end of the course, Nagumo was burning with something a whole lot hotter than jealousy.

This wasn’t part of the plan.

But neither was the way Nagumo stormed over, jaw tight, eyes locked on you like you were the problem, not the creep ogling you like a snack.

You barely had time to react before his hands were on you, "fixing" your posture from behind. His body pressed too close. His breath fanned over your neck. His hand slid over yours, guiding the club.

“What the hell are you doing, Nagumo?” you hissed, trying not to let your knees buckle under the sudden contact.

“Helping,” he murmured, voice low and laced with heat. “You weren’t focused on the right target.”

“You mean my ball?” you shot back, trying to sound unaffected, but the way he molded to your back made your brain short-circuit for a second.

He didn’t answer right away. Just leaned in closer, lips brushing your ear.

“What do you even see in that guy?”

You smirked. “God, have you seen him? He’s hot.”

Nagumo stiffened.

You could practically feel the possessiveness rolling off him like a storm.

“What I see,” he growled, “is you getting way too into this role and forgetting what we’re actually here to do.”

You lined up your shot with a little more force than necessary—maybe because his grip was a little too tight, or maybe because your heartbeat was doing somersaults. You swung.

And whack—your elbow landed right in his ribs.

“Oh, oops,” you said, turning with your most innocent smile. “Sorry, darling.”

He blinked, then snorted, shaking it off like it was nothing. “You hit like a kitten.”

You leaned in just a little, voice silky. “Keep getting in my space, and I’ll show you claws.”

He grinned—sharp, wolfish. “Is that a promise?”

“Maybe, senpai.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Huh. So you’re still calling me that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You tell me. You didn’t use it once today… or last night.”

Your cheeks burned instantly, memories flooding back like a wave crashing over your sanity. That kiss. That damn kiss. It had to be for show, right? Just him flexing his acting skills—his control. That had to be it. Still, you hadn’t a clue how you were supposed to sleep next to him again tonight. Especially after how the two of you had silently avoided each other all morning… until breakfast forced you into the same space.

“Don’t just bring that up like it’s nothing…” You said, breath catching. You could feel the heat rising from your chest to your ears, and it wasn’t just the weather.

Nagumo’s eyes didn’t move off you. They were sharp—dangerous. Like a predator deciding if it was time to pounce. You needed space. Now.

“I’m gonna go get some water. It’s… hot out,” you mumbled, standing up too quickly.

He tilted his head with a smirk, voice smooth as always. “You’re on an island, sweetheart. What else did you expect?”

You stepped into the cool hallway of the complex, glass panels stretching around you, reflecting your flushed face. The sunlight danced off the floors, but you barely noticed—your thoughts already spinning.

Your fingers itched for something familiar.

You pulled out your phone.

📞 Shishiba

You hesitated. Just for a second. Then pressed it.

The line rang once. Twice. Click.

“You finally remembered me,” came his voice, low, teasing, and a little rough like he’d just woken up.

Your lips curved. “I was going to call you last night…”

“Were you?” There was amusement laced with something else. “Didn’t seem like it. I figured Nagumo was keeping you occupied.”

You leaned against the wall, lowering your voice. “It’s not like that.”

“I can still feel you on my skin, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Tell me again it’s not like that.”

Your breath hitched. You glanced around instinctively, but the hallway was empty. At least, you thought it was.

“I passed your apartment earlier,” he said softly. “Your windows were open. Felt weird seeing it empty.”

Your stomach tightened. “I miss you.”

“Then say it.”

“I miss you, senpai.”

A low groan came through the speaker. “Don’t say that shit when I can’t touch you. I can’t stop thinking about that night. About you… on your back, clawing at the sheets, begging for more.”

Your knees nearly buckled.

“Do you still taste like wine?” he asked, voice dipped in sin. “Or has Nagumo left a new flavor on your lips?”

You gasped. “Shishiba—”

From behind you, a warm hand snatched your phone.

You spun around.

Nagumo stood there, towering, deadly silent.

Your screen lit up for a second longer, just long enough for him to hear:

“Don’t forget whose name you screamed first, sweetheart.”

Click.

Call ended.

The air turned thick with tension.

Nagumo stared at your screen. Then at you.

“You weren’t just calling to check in,” he said, his voice low, dangerously calm. “You slept with him.”

You froze.

He tilted his head. “The night before we left… it was him in your bed, wasn’t it?”

Your silence was the only answer he needed.

Nagumo took a slow, deliberate step closer. His jaw clenched, eyes scanning you like he was trying to burn the truth into your skin.

“That’s why you’re running,” he whispered. “Because even now, standing here with me, you’re still thinking about how he touched you.”

His hand reached out, knuckles brushing your jaw—not soft, not rough, just enough to remind you that he was here. That he wasn’t backing off.

“Should I show you what it’s like when I make you scream, baby girl?” he asked, voice thick with challenge. “Or are you too sore from last time?”

You sucked in a breath, every nerve alight.

He leaned in, lips grazing your ear.

“Careful who you give your body to, princess,” he murmured. “Next time, I won’t just steal your phone…”

His voice dipped into something darker.

“I’ll take everything.”

Nagumo’s words hung in the air, thick with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. The hallway felt smaller, the space between you both charged with a kind of electricity that you didn’t know how to handle.

His hand still lingered on your jaw, and your pulse raced at the feel of his touch. You wanted to pull away—needed the distance—but something about the way he looked at you, with that mix of control and barely contained hunger, made your body betray you.

He watched you like he was savoring every reaction, every flutter in your chest. And maybe, just maybe, part of you wanted him to keep going. To push you further.

"You don't get to hide from me," he murmured, his voice low, rough. "Not now. Not after what I heard." His eyes narrowed, searching yours like he was trying to decipher something deep inside you, something you couldn’t quite put into words.

You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but nothing came out. The tension was suffocating, and you could feel the heat rising again, swirling between the two of you.

And then, just as quickly as it had started, Nagumo took a step back. His fingers left your skin, but the absence of his touch was like a physical loss.

"Get a grip," he said, his tone back to its usual cool. He didn't look away from you, though. He didn’t need to. "We're still on a mission, baby. Don't lose focus."

You clenched your fists, trying to steady your breath. Focus. Right. You were supposed to be here for one thing. One thing only.

But with him—with Nagumo—felt like everything was blurring together. The lines between the mission, the games, and whatever twisted dance you two were doing had been erased the moment he touched you.

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to look at him.

"I’m not the one losing focus," you shot back, your voice steady despite how badly your heart was thudding. "You’re the one who can’t keep it in your pants."

Nagumo smirked, that wolfish grin returning like he had won something.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, his voice light but still laced with heat. He stepped forward again, closing the distance just enough to make your breath hitch. "I think you’re the one who’s been playing with fire all along. But if you want to pretend it's nothing, fine. Just know, I’m always watching."

Your mouth went dry as he turned, walking away with the same confident swagger, like none of this mattered to him. But his words echoed in your mind, lingering far too long.

"Next time, princess... I won’t let you run."

You watched him leave, every part of you still buzzing with that intensity, with the sting of what had just happened. And as much as you wanted to forget, as much as you needed to push everything back into that neat little box you’d shoved it into… You knew this wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

Taglist: @shadyyouthcloud @milabyxz @mitsurisupporter @cjafjatkstke @raspberrizzz @mimisdaydreamingbubble

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Going On A Date With Hangman

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Teasing, mentions of an abusive relationship in the past, tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 1: here

Taglist: @chaoticcassidy, @the-marshals-wife, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

(A/N:) I have been lagging behind on my writing here lately as my artwork has been taking the majority of my time. I'm in the process of opening an Etsy store because all my creations are starting to pile up and I live in an area that people aren't interested in fandom things. So I'm taking matters in my own hands. But I am going to keep writing! Being able to write these fun imagines is something I love doing and won't give up for anything! So I'm going to try to write more and to my bestie who wanted a second part of the last Hangman imagine here is that date part you wanted! I have two more requests in store so keep an eye out! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

The setting sun and crashing waves were your only companions as you sat on a bench outside The Hard Deck. You couldn't remember what really possessed you to agree to Hangman's request, and you were really questioning what had gotten into you as he was naturally late. You tapped your foot, glancing at your phone to see what time it was. You decided to give him a moment longer, before you gave up and went home. You had just placed your phone back in your purse for the tenth time when a pickup pulled into The Hard Deck's small parking lot. You rolled your eyes, knowing it was just another bar hopper when the driver side door swung open. Boots thudded against the ground as you lost yourself in the search for your keys in the bottomless purse you lugged around.

"Hello," the familiar voice cut through your grumbling.

"You're late," you hissed

"Fashionably," Hangman retorted.

Giving him a once over," No just late."

"If I wasn't so confident in myself that would have hurt my feelings."

"Confident and inflated ego are two totally different things," you crossed your arms.

"Sure," Hangman grinned. "Sorry I'm late it won't happen again."

"So confident that there will be a next time?"

"Absolutely."

You hummed, zipping back up your bag. You came all this way and waited this long. No sense in going home now when he just got here.

"Okay flyboy," you held out your hand. "Woo me."

Without hesitation Hangman took your offered hand, kissing your knuckles before leading you towards the passenger side of his truck and opening the door. Once you were seated in the passenger side, Hangman shut the truck door. Naturally he pumped his fist and raced around the front to the driver side. You couldn't help but laugh, though you did roll your eyes. Sliding the keys into the ignition and starting the truck, letting the diesel engine rumble for a few seconds you waited until Hangman started to shift into reverse.

"So what do you have planned for me this evening?"

He shrugged looking out the back window as he steered the big truck out of the parking lot. "I thought we might go bar hopping."

"Seriously?!" Any thought of you enjoying tonight and that Hangman would actually be pleasant for a change went out the window. Maybe you were having a moment of naivety that night you said yes. Now all those what if's and worrisome thoughts started to avalanche in your mind, until Hangman started to laugh.

"I'm joking," he coughed. "Don't worry I have a fun night planned.

"Now I'm worried what your definition of fun is," you retorted cheeks flushing red in anger.

"Lighten up sweetheart I won't do anything you don't want."

Your teeth began to grind and you were really starting to question your sanity. "Has anyone ever told you that they'd like to throat punch you?"

"I'm sure but they never voiced it,"

"Well let me tell you I really want to throat punch you."

"Good to know we're off to a good start tonight! First something to eat."

Despite being a storm of rage in the passenger seat from Hangman's teasing it didn't take long before he was able to ease you into a simmer. You watched the scenery go by while Hangman told funny stories from work. Though you drove these streets for years, you never really got to enjoy the sights as you were always too focused on the road to notice little details. Hangman could tell that you weren't really paying attention but it didn't stop him from talking. You had your arm resting on the center console, finger gently tapping to the music on the radio. He smirked to himself when he got caught at another red light.

"Are you listening," he asked.

You just replied with, "Hmmmm?"

"I'll take that as a no," he scoffed before glancing once more at your digits tapping even harder against the hard plastic. The stop light still glaring red in the night that was settling in, he eased his hand over yours, stopping your fingers movements before he interlaced your fingers with his. You jumped, quickly glancing over. Instead of saying a word at your shocked face he placed gentle kisses to the back of your hand. The light turned green, but he didn't release your hand as he drove on. You paid a little more attention to the conversation though your heart was pounding loudly as you kept glancing from the vehicles passing by to your hand swallowed by Hangman's much larger and calloused hand. You breathed a sigh of relief when the restaurant came into view and Hangman parked the truck.

"Stay," he demanded before hurriedly getting out and racing to your door.

You rolled your eyes but just waited. He opened the door with a flourish before offering you a hand to help you out. With you "safely" on the ground, Hangman slammed the door shut and locked the truck up. For the third time in the evening he took your hand, walking hand in hand to the entrance.

"You know you don't have to go so far for me," you said.

"Of course I do. You agreed to go out with me and I want you to be treated the way you deserve," he retorted still gripping your hand while he opened the restaurant door for you as well.

"Oh please don't make me gag with the goody two shoes act you cocky jerk," you laughed.

The hostess waved a server over as soon as you both walked in, cutting off Hangman's reply by leading you both to a table. You noticed that it wasn't an overly stuffy restaurant. You could tell by the smells coming from the kitchen that they had good food but it was still a comfortable enough atmosphere that you didn't have to worry about snobby rich people sneering at your comfy clothing choice. Once seated and your drink orders placed you raised the menu to start browsing. Usually you could decide what you wanted pretty quickly but tonight you were shaken by the way Hangman was acting so it was going to take you a minute to concentrate. The menu was suddenly slapped down onto the table. Hangman kept his hand pressed against the laminated paper making sure you couldn't hide behind it. You felt a little guilty for what you said before you both were interrupted just a moment ago.

"It's not an act," he glared. "I'm being genuine right now, just for you. I've wanted this for awhile and I don't want to do anything to mess it up. I'm sorry I was late. I was so nervous that I didn't know what I wanted to wear or where I should take you until last minute. I've been flustered since the moment you agreed outside The Hard Deck."

At the beginning you would have chalked it up to Hangman teasing you once again, trying to get under your skin. But the sincerity in his eyes made you realize that this wasn't act. He wasn't just saying these pretty words to get you to let your guard down so he could strike. He was being real and you wanted to melt into the floor as you now felt like an absolute jerk.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled fighting back the sudden tears stinging your eyes. "I shouldn't have been such a jerk to you."

"It's okay I really gave you a reason to be so defensive but I really want to try."

"It's not you," you sighed body shaking. You were about to continue on when the waitress came back and set the drinks down on the table. You hadn't even gotten to glance at the menu but without missing a beat Hangman ordered sending the waitress back off with the orders.

"Trust me I come here a lot," he grinned. "And you don't have to tell me. The Navy guys pretty much know some guy took advantage of you. We don't know any hard details but just know, we have your back no matter what."

Once again the pilot left you speechless, "Thank you."

He nodded leaning back in the chair he was sitting in. Without a second thought Hangman moved the topic to something else and in a matter of seconds he had you laughing and joyously conversing with him until the food made it to the table. And true to his world it was absolutely delicious and now you wanted to come back as soon as possible.

With full stomachs Hangman lead you back to the truck. The night had settled in fully before he once again held open your door. He didn't shut it immediately this time.

"Can I take you to a movie?"

"Absolutely!"

After the delicious dinner and a fun movie you realized that you didn't want this date to end. You couldn't remember the last time that you had enjoyed yourself so much. And if you could tell that Hangman wasn't ready for you to get out and leave in your car just yet.

"Think we can go take a walk on the beach for just a little while," you asked.

He perked up, eyes shining brightly he nodded.

You held your shoes in one hand and Hangman's hand in the other as the cooling sand shifted between your toes. The crashing waves on the beach sent little salty sprays in the air as little crabs scuttled by.

"I can't remember the last time I had so much fun," you breathed in deeply.

"Getting to fly is pretty fun," Hangman drug the toe of his boot in the sand. "But this is a different type of fun. I wouldn't want to share with anyone but you."

You faked a gag, "Ugh so sappy!"

He laughed," You have no one but yourself to blame. You shouldn't be so pretty."

"Oh puh-lease Hangman," you laughed. "You don't have to just say that."

He cupped your cheeks, hushing you immediately. Hangman stared down at you seriousness and a little bit of anger simmering in his gaze. You swallowed loudly, unsure of what to do in such a situation.

"Stop putting yourself down," you all but snarled. "You're amazing and I wish you could see it."

You never had someone say things like that with such conviction and it had you a little emotional. Hangman pressed his forehead against yours. Taking in your presence as your soft cheeks warmed his palms.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," he whispered. Placing a tender kiss on your forehead, you shivered against the contact of his warm lips against your skin. Hangman leaned backwards taking in your face before pulling you in closer. His breath brushing against your lips. He leaned in closer, claiming your mouth with his. The beach a perfect backdrop as the waves made their crashing applause against the sandy beach that suddenly became your favorite spot. Seconds later Hangman parted from you before holding you tightly.

"Thank you," you melted in his hold.

"Can we do this again soon," he whispered afraid of the answer you'd give him.

"The dating or kissing," you teased.

"Both. Lots of both."

"I'm ready whenever you are flyboy."

Hangman squeezed tighter," So tomorrow?"

You nodded, "Definitely tomorrow."

[dawning-rose-1]

It's been a while, but ... please pray for me and my marriage.

I've been trying to find a counselor or therapist to help me through

the grief of getting an infertility diagnosis (if you or someone you know is struggling with this, I do recommend The Fruitful Hollow, just as a stepping stone or a place to find advice).

I'll leave it here, because saying/writing it makes it less powerful (the emotion it evokes become less sharp, it allows them to settle a bit). It's called bilateral absence of vas deferens, it amounts to a congenital vasectomy that is inoperable and thus unfixable (save, of course, for an act of God). Now, knowing this and being a (sometimes it feels like I should add an "unfortunately") well catechized Catholic, it leaves us in the very sad situation of not being able to have biological kids.

As I said earlier, I've tried to find a counselor or therapist, but so far they keep trying to convince me that IVF would solve the problem. And while I'm sure that if we were successful (by that I mean, it resulted in a baby) we'd feel certain relief, I do not believe that that's the way to deal with the situation. More and more people that battle with infertility are turning to IVF and even surrogacy as a way to fulfill their desire for children. So I understand why that seems like the obvious solution to our 'problem. The very simple and logical solution.

Sitting with it, and savoring the bitter taste it leaves behind, I can admit to several things (just for the sake of my own sanity):

I shouldn't have planned a whole chunk of my life around having children.

I should have developed interests that weren't so niche to child-rearing or that tended to attract parents (see the overlap of crunchy moms and holistic nutrition/natural living/endocrine disruptors/natural fibers)

I wanted to get married because I wanted to have kids, and in hindsight, that was not my smartest move, nor a good motivation.

Though I always said that children are not a given (in the sense that nobody deserves children, just like we deserve nothing we have been given in this life, it's all a gift by the mercy and grace of God), saying it, believing it, and being confronted with: you've been given this particular cross... it doesn't make it a fun experience.

Seeing other people living the 'life I wanted/planned for' is a constant struggle between don't be jealous, don't become envious, and just be happy/grateful that they can have children.

Related to the prior: I'm at the age where most people are having kids, some friends are going for baby number 2 (at least 5 come to mind immediately, I'm sure there's more). And seeing as most of our friends are Catholic, the babies are unlikely to stop anytime soon. So I don't love that I get a gigantic boulder in the pit of my stomach when someone says I have an announcement or I'm pregnant.

Sometimes it helps that they tell you via text, I've gotten two in person with not a whole lot of forewarning and the amount of crying after the announcements is not too different. Though having to activate my acting skills has been a bit tiring. (On a side note, I hope one day I can simply be happy for the new parents and not have to slink off to my home to cry and feel sorry for myself).

Feeling sorry for myself also comes from feeling excluded (which is, of course, only natural) by my friends and not getting invited to kids' birthday parties or family-friendly events where our friends are hosting or involved; I got such a sad feeling from hearing that my friends have regular play-dates where the kids play and the moms hang out that I had to tell myself to chill. (Again, I get it. But, I don't want to be friendless by the time everyone's at 6 kids.)

Looking at my husband make a questionable hygiene choice makes me somewhat grateful that he cannot father my children (I haven't figured out if that's me trying to make sense of the seemingly senseless)

Same as the last one, I can't help wondering if the reason why we can't have kids is simply God protecting us and them from the realities of parenthood.

There's so much that I haven't figured out, like: what do I do with my life now? I have no real ambitions, or desires save having a family. And I need to pray more for God to soften my heart to his will, because I feel so blind when it comes to my future. I thought I knew what life was going to be like, but here I am, at almost 30, married for almost 4 years, with a dog and no plan. It's an excellent opportunity to trust in God and his mercy, and I'm trying to. But I haven't felt a whole lot of peace in a good long while.