#not just cause im a casual player who isnt very good at it

[piecesofchess]

Well. That's enough of my use out of the free W101 membership. Time to never play this game again for another few years!!

[planetamarte]

(anon who talked about dragonball from a couple days ago) yoo i didnt expect someone w a sonic background would resonate so much with early dragonball..!! but admittedly i dont know much about sonic, outside of like . snapscube, wayneradio, general common knowledge, etc. i couldnt find if someone asked this before erm but do you have any recommendations or favorites in the sonic franchise? i have always wanted to get into it + its like cultural exchange :) lmao

YEAHHH im liking it so far! if u dont know about it yet then once you learn the lore about the chaos emeralds specifically you'll see what i mean by the amount of inspiration sonic takes from dragonball LOLLL

my #1 recs for sonic will always be the games - for the majority of the series, sonic isnt really the type of thing where you absolutely Have to start from the beginning to understand its stories so u can just start anywhere! my personal favorites are both of the adventure games (especially 2), frontiers, generations and unleashed. the adventure series were the first 3d sonic games and where story started being more upfront. frontiers is the most recent and its story actually builds up on the chaos emerald lore in a way they hadnt done in decades. (this one has 2 prologues! the knuckles animation, divergence, and the comic tie-in, convergence.) generations is the one getting a remaster + new story content with shadow this october BUT the original game's story is very light and it's basically just a real nice glorified collection of levels from past games. i havent actually played unleashed since i was a kid (i might again soon) but this is the one with werehog sonic. its story is one of my favorites :)

im not much of a classic/2d player but i had fun with mania! origins is a collection of the classics that i havent played but ive heard it's pretty good and has a mechanic that makes losing lives less punishing than the originals. sonic 1, 2 and cd also have free mobile ports. the murder of sonic the hedgehog is also free on steam, it's a cute and casual little murder mystery visual novel and a real nice introduction to the cast of secondary characters!

(honorary mention goes to fangame dr. robotnik's ring racers, it's a pretty hard kart racer with a bunch of mechanics to memorize but is real fun once you get the hang of it and the tutorial has real cute interactions between eggman and tails. modding characters into this game is pretty easy and ive been working on putting in an oc of mine lol. this game is a sequel to sonic robo blast 2 kart, which is a mod for 1998(!) fangame sonic robo blast 2. another one i like is sonic and the fallen star, a 2d/classic style fangame with a cute artstyle and i know it has a sequel in the works!)

outside of games theres the idw comics! these take place after forces (the game before frontiers) but i think they establish an understanding of prior events pretty well that, again, u wouldn't Need to know everything before reading them. the archie comics are a beast i havent personally touched much of, they ran from 1993-2017 so theres a lot to them LOL

out of all the sonic shows and movies, sonic boom, the sonic ova (also known as the OG sonic movie) and sonic x are my favorites. all of these have super different takes on the world sonic lives in - boom is a silly little sitcom series w really funny meta humor, the ova is a 1996 pilot for an anime series that never happened, and sonic x is an anime series that DID happen where sonic is actually from a different world and gets isekaied to earth. (i recommend jp with subs for this one)

I THINK THATS IT...... i could keep going and be here all day but i will leave it here. theres way more stuff u naturally find getting into the series! the thing i like most about sonic is that i personally think theres something in the franchise for everyone. i hope all this info isnt too intimidating cause truly u can take this series at ur own pace. i hope u have fun anon ^__^

[kasunex]

Yesterday me and @heiligelanze were bored so I made this trash complaining about P4. Don’t read if you like P4. Unless you are very chill about people hating on it. 

we talk about why p4 is not good. 

#1 - Boring characters

Yosuke: Wah wah small town is borin (why doesn't he just plan to move when he's older), also homophobic in way that suggests writers thought we were too. neck is too long. Also not closeted >:/

Yu Narukami: Stupid name, stupid design, stupid fuckin face, I hate him, no character arc or character at all, Gary Stu. Boring peice of shit. Also. Not GAY Enough >:/

Yukiko: Boring. Thinks she's trapped into being innkeeper when not at all. Never tells parents she doesn't want to or makes any attempt to change anything. Only other character trait is laughs (annoying)

Chie: Guyz I like kung fu n meat isnt that quirky, (bc apparently women don't like meat?????) also not gay or trans >:/

Kanji: Almost good. But misleads to think he is good representative media pushing artistic gay man strugling against stereotypes that gays rnt tough. Actually about gender roles but not well explored. Hinted to be bi at best. Atlus u fuckin cowards let me be gay for once >>>>>>>>>://////////////////

Rise: 2 kawaii. Gets annoying. Unwarranted, undeserved crush on main character you cant say no to. (But unlike p3 game doesn't make u with her but we will get to THAT LATER FUCKING P4G)

Naoto: Too good for game. Shoulda been trans tho. 

Teddie: Remove or kill. Annoying af. Tries to steal ur girl. Major mysognist (game is like lol) 

Mitsuo: Insulting to ugly people and to gamer fanbase

Moorako: Insulting to ugly people. Hahah who cares hes dead he was uggo lol

Hanako: Fat ppl r gross rite guys lollolollolllollolololollollololl haha she thinks she's atrratcievew lolololo fat pppl thinkin their hot lololololololo

Kashiwagi: She's old but busted except she looks 30 and treated as gross icky old woman when real teens would be like "I wanna bang dat shit on de desk"

Dojima: Ok I guess

Nanako: Emotional manipulation. doesn't die. unrealistically precious and mature. 

Adachi: Presents as awkward relatable BUT NO ACTUALLY EVIL OVER THE TOP EVIL MUHAHAHA because he couldn't just be a cool guy with a darker side, had to be ANIME CRAZY EVIL DID IT FOR THE LULZ

Namatame: Not built up enough, comes fuckiin out of nowhere

Izanami: Comes even more da faq outta nowhere (GUYS THAT GAS STATION ATTENDENT SHAKING YOUR HAND OBVS EQUALS EVIL OR PLOT SIGNIFICANT LOL) also rips off Nyx and does it shitty

Ameno-Sagiri: Comes even MORE da faq outtta nowhere and vanishes da faq outta nowhere, also irrelevant to plot and meaningless distraction

Margret: Boring af, no personality at all, Elizabeth was more fun 

Saki: Underdeveloped bitch, supposed to be so sad when dies despite not being shown for anythin but bitch also supposed to feel bad for yosuke when she dies even tho she hated him and he would have been rejected anyway seriously wtf

Marie: COMPLETELY IRREDEMABLE GARBAGE FIRE OF PANDERING TRASH. SHOEHORNED INTO PLOT WHEN COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND IRRELEVANT. GAME FORCES HER AS LOVE INTEREST WHEN SHE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO STEAL WORST GIRL FROM YUKIKO. ANNOYING TSUNDERE STEREOTYPE. MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SELF.

#2 - Shit plot

Boring af. Crappy tonal issues all the way thru. WAY TO SLICE OF LIFE WHO FUCKIN CARES. 

HEY IM A TRANSFER STUDENT JUST LIKE LAST GAME LOL. Everyone loves me immediately even tho im a lil bitch. 

Oh noes murder of some random chick we never met so sad ;~;

Meet Chie n Yukiko both boring af, immediately like me 

Yosuke is trash can, Mitsuo is creppy and wierd b/c gamers r uggo and uggo ppl are socially inept and suck

Bitchy girl shows up and then dies

Yosuke does1n't get dick wet (he wouldn't anyways but still) so sad 

See TV world, meet worst character in ORGINAL game (assult of bear puns)

fight dumb fuckin demon frog bc yosuke is bored (wtf is dis shit)

Chie is gay bUT NOT REALLY  

Boss of dungeon is too hard, someone went missing or something idk who cares

Meet gay but nOT REALLY

Chases u bc u judge him but NOT REALLY

Gets kidnapped, gay dungeon bUT NOT REALLY actually about gender and cuz he likes cute stuff means he's gay STUPID but actually he's not because gays r icky lol 

Campin time yaya the girls can't cook pffffft a WOMAN CANT COOK TF WOW WOW SO FUNNY A WOMAN CANT COOK WTF WHAT TEH FUCK and also HANAKO IS FAT AND That's' bad

HOMOPHOBIA TIME LOL KANJI IS GAY ARE YOSUKE AND YU SAFE IN A TENT WITH HIM? FIND OUT AT 11

Sexism next day when Yosuke is like I bought u girls sexy swimsuits and will now shame you to wear them ARENT I AN ENDEARING CHARACTER but no dicks are wet except with water (also vomit) including kanji lol abuse (also that could have seriously injured but never brought up BECAUSE ABUSE IS LOLOLOLOOLLOLLLOLLLLOLLLOLLLLLLLLOLLLL) Also game forced u/Yu to be sexist too fuck off game

Nanako is sad whatever who cares

Yosuke wants idol puss so yay idol but shes sad so we stalk guilible peepin tom who is the killer but NOT REALLY while adachi is quirky

Rise is sad that she doesnt know who she is or something fuckin idk STRIPPING TIME BOWCHICAWOWOW also teddie feels useless so everyone dies or smth

Teddie comes out of TV and is now human and annoying mother fucker, Rise is now not sad but KAWAII and Yosuke no longer wants idol puss idk but but IDOL PUSS WANTS BORING FUCKBOY YU DICK (not pandery at all, just your average sexy teen idol wants boring fuckboy)

Teacher is dead he was dick and uggo so who cares lol

Chase after uggo game lover nerd haha dungeon is nerdy game shit lol video games cause violence right guys? Didnt u know that video gamers are all ugly socially inept muderous pathetic freaks????? THATS U BTW UR UGGO INEPT MUDEROUS CREEPY LOSER FREAK LOL 

Also rise cums when you kill enemies 

Now murders are solved rite so lets have celebration!!!! Girls make omlettes but they CANT COOK LOL wasnt that so funny last time joke so nice they made it twice

Summer festival time Rise wants yu dick and Yosuke wants wet dick but teddie claims all three girls for himself and they go without protest despite not wanting to because they are STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE AND KNOW NOT TO BACKTALK THEIR MAN (isnt this game so progressive) 

PERSONA 3 REFERENCES also underage drinking bUT NOT REALLY JUST SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE LOL also teddie stalks them lol also teacher books SEX HOTEL???? How wacky

You kno how muder was solved WELL NOT REALLY WHAT A SHOCK THE GAME HAD NO PLOT FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS anyways

Naoto is strong masculine manly mc man detective but gets kidnapped and is actuallY TRANS BUT NOT REALLY IS ACTUALLY JUST GIRL AND THINKS SHES CHILDISH OR SOMETHING but NOT REALLY ACTUALLY SHE’s JUST LONELY but not really idefk. Remember kiddies being different is okay!!! uwu (so long as you ARENT ACTUALLY DIFFERENT U FREAKOZOID kill urself)

Cultrue festival Rise wants u 2 do her in school halls balls deep but game doesn't let you????? lame 0/10 

But then YOSUKE FORCES GIRLS INTO UNCOMFORTABLE beauty pagent that they cant back out of even if someone else signed them up under penalty of DEATH AND RAPE (I presume) because yosuke remains such an endearing character BUT THEN girls get revenge by forcing him into drag contest and u and kanji too even tho it was only yosuke because the GIRLS ARE SUCH AMAZING FRIENDS lol girls are objectified lol fatty thinks shes hot lolllollollooololooloololoollolololooll0lkooolloollololoololol (game designers had to stop in order to finish laughing at own jokes)

then drag contest ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww grosssssssssssssss icky teddie wins because................a dude? PASSING AS A WOMAN??????? Totes not transphobic vibes none at ALL

then HOT SPRINGS SLEEPOVER at inn because there is just SO MUCH MORE FUNNY TO BE HAD (isnt this all so relevant to plot and character??? rich narrative very necessary part of story, game would be UNSALVAGABLE without it) 

Girls are bitches and think that guys are perving because hot springs doesn't tell them when it's time for girls to go? ?????? Great fuckin service amagi inn also why would the guys perv by just casually walking in??? Why why why why why qwhyw why why anyways they throw buckets at the guys and it's HILARIOUS and not at all uncomfortable, guys run away in terror and the girls are like YEAH GIRL POWER!!! Then they find out about mistake and apologize like good friends, people and normal humans would b/c even for pervin that was extra  no just kidding LOL They actually keep it a secret becausE LOL GIRL POWER STRONG RELATABLE FEMALE CHARACTERS AMIRITE WHO HASNT ABUSED THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT ANY FEELINGS OF REMORSE OR GUILT LOL (also nanako saw that all bad influence on child)

since the friendships are all so wholesome and not at all toxic or unhealthy the guys totally write this off and try to explain themselves to the girls. NO, actualyl, since Tedide and Yosuke are still such ENDEARING characters they instead decide to molest girls in sleep RELATABLE but uh oh they accidentally molest fatty and uggo old teacher who looks 30 and then fatty and teach are like cool let's fuck and like REAL TEENS they are grossed out at being offered sex because yuck women over 20 and fatty also why are fatty and "old" lady hangin out anyway?? Apparently if ur gross u hang out together, b/c that's how it works rite. such grea t non contrivences

Nanako is dying whatever who cares 

Namatame then kidnapps nanako or somth who cares dojima dies but NOT REALLY

then they go to heaven because nanako is sad but nobody gave a shit narukami never cared to ask or try to keep her company isn't he just so GREAT and considerate to the girl being boderline abused and neglected in his own fuckin house no who cares BUT NOW WE CARE RIGHT GUYS

Namatame is cray cray and his boss design is uggo and bullshit

Nanako dies, Yosuke advocates MURDER because he is still SO ENDEARING and player has to chose EXACT FUCKIN DIOLOGUE WITH NOT ONE MISTAKE OR EVERYTHIGN SUCKS AND ITS ALL UR FAULT also in some endings you murder because fuck you 

but then if u dont murder NANAKO WAS DEAD BUT NOT REALLY but only if u dont murder so congrats u were emotionally manipulated into killing the mentally ill b/c ur so great good job

then it turns out Namatame you know how he was cray cray well turns out he wANST REALLY CRAY he just had plot-convient-tempo-insanity-itius as the doctors call it then u talk to him and u know how he was the killer? Welll...NOT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY he was actually good guy u almost killed innocent man fck u then u have three chances to guess killer and only u can and if you dont get it in three guesses you get, as the doctors call it, plot-convient-stupid-cant-think-anymore-itius and thus you run out of time and nobody in the world can guess except you and even over the next three months nobody can guess because who cares I guess lol 2 ppl r dead it turns out you know quirky relatable cop man well NOT FUCKIN REALLY he is actually crazy because he's bored and as everyone knows when youre bored you kill also he's sad that he doesn't have talent even tho he is sucessful detective???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? then god bullshit end of world or smth who cares

then everything is over also i forgot teddie disappears so sad but NOT REALLY

Christmas eve sex ( i banged rise on top of christmas cake) 

Girls can now cook character development girls learned how to cook 10/10 v progressive 

Then flash forward to three months later because fuck you and Yu is leavin because idk and the game ends BUT NOT REALLY ashkually you can get TRUE SUPER AWESOME ending if you are able to figure out that you have to go to junes for no reason except fuck you 

turns out the gas station attendent u know him? well he was super bored and he's actually a GOD WOWZERS so amazing did you know jesus was a part timer at a gas station????? NO??? That's why youre playing this sack of shit anyway humanity wants ignorance or so god says (sound familiar, Nyx??) and she almost wins BUT NOT REALLY Because yu has the power of frienship and you know that awesome scene of makoto fighting nyx? Well imagine thaT BUT SHIT b/c no buildup

for all ur xtra efforts u get teddie saying hearts are connected anime KH cliche (wasnt that so worth the extra bullshit dungeon) 

Yu is leaving SO SAD WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT P3 WUSS CAST? Your friend is dead? GTFO with those 1st world problems NARUKAMI HAS TO TAKE THE TRAIN TO SEE HIS FRIENDS THIS IS THE TRUE TRAGIC DRAMA WHAT COULD BE WORSE

THE END 0/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

#3 - ASSULT OF THE CASH COWS

so p4 is gr8 rite m8? well no but apparentlly dumb 14yr old boys were like "omg this game half akcnowleges gays exsist so PROGRESSIVE also i can fuck mai waifu n have friends" and so p4 made a shit ton of money atlus saw dis money printin out and were like $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so dey were lyke "lets release a buncha shit”

Persona 4 The Animation: Imagine the same shitty p4 plot but with EVEN MORE HOMOPHOBIA!!!!! also racism!!!! plus MORE FAT JOKES!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaahahahahah also the animation is piss poor shit!!! Doesn't this sound wonderful????? 

Persona 4 Arena: So Atlus was lyke yannao wat totes goes with our super serious and super "mature" jrpg seriess? Do u kno? BLAZBLUE!!!!! The over the top weeb fighting game!!! YEah son!!!!! So anyways a fighting game comes out with barely any playable characters??????? Great. Fantastic not the least bit fanficy character writing. Also, there is a plot b/c dis shit be canon. Dats right!!! Now you may be thinking "mmmm how does that work????" well the geneiuses at atlus say "B/C SHITTY P3 RETCON CHARACTER IS SAD ABOUT DESTROYING FRINEDS WHOLE TV WORLD BECOMES ARENA WERE PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGHT FRIENDS" and u may hear that and wonder?? "what deh fuck, wasn't tv world gone also when did this ever happen in p4????" to which fanboys proply accuse u of hating fighting games and behead u. 

So at this point in time, P4 is offically dead. It is dead as doornails. but atlus is lyke "Hey let's rape the corpse" and they release shitty remake on overpriced shit system nobody bought. You may be wondering "2012 didn't p4 only come out less than five years ago????" to which atlus says "shut the fuck up and give us money" hence P4 Golden

Persona 4 Golden: Added marie, inistant failure trashfire BUT WAIT!!!! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!!! Added events!!! 

a) Yosuke wants dick wet and will cum if he feels boobs on his back!! So Yu and Yosuke team up to get shitty dumb ugly bikes b/c they're sooooo cooool rite mitsuru? You and ur dumb motorbike p4 is the real mature game. Anyway. Then they go hit on girls and yosuke gets one!!! YAY!! BUT OH NO!!! IT'S ACTUALLY STUPID FATSO STILL THINKIN SHE'S HOT WHEN SHE'S ACTUALLY STUPID BC SHE'S FAT!!! She then sits on yosuke's bike and it breaks because lol shes fat get it get it get it get it????? Doesn't this add so much to the story??? RICH NARATIVE RIGHT GUYS?!

b) BEACH TIME!!! Because that's where the real compelling drama is!!! Anyway they go to the beach and yuckerbears kanji is in a speedo!!! Gross!! I hope yosuke doesn't catch the gay!!! Then teddie tries to molest the girls bc he's such an endearing character lol then kanji's bathing suit falls off!!!! How did this happen u may ask?? ANIME MAGIC!! So then they dress kanji in seaweed like birth of venus and girls scream and run. the end. 

c) Fireworks festival yay time ted-fiya so memorable. Yosuke wants to murder Teddie bc PORN so funny haha more fat jokes also teddie wants 2 bang nanako

d) Nanako is sad again whatever who cares

e) Halloween party!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!

f) SKIING TRIP!!!! YAY!!! P3 REFERENCES!!! YAY!!! Shiptease!!! Yay!!! Teddie steals food so Naoto advocates for his MURDER!!! YAY!! IF YOU DID MARIES SLINK YOU GET XTRA AWESOME DUNGEON!! ALSO IMPLIED RAPEY SEX IN THE SNOW BUT NOT REALLY!!! ANYWAY turns out that marie sucked up the ameno sagiri fog! What u thought it just went away on its own?? BULLSHIT!!!! Next you'll be questioning the ever so important role of NPC John Smith in creating Izanami's gas attendent disguise. Or NPC Billy Bob in giving Ameno Saigiri directions to the boss fight. RIVETING DIOLAUGE LIKE "is this like the part in movies where the bad guys lair collapses??????" WORST GIRL IS DEAD BE SAD EVERYONE ELSE IS U MONSTER!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!! INSTEAD SHIP FUEL!!!! Also marie is polite for half second, AMAZES ENTIRE CAST GREAT WRITING!!!!!!!!! dont u love it when ur friends treat u like shit? then there’s a lovely scene where the dudes perv on the girls who are sexaulized and marie attacks them. Riveting. Then they all died and we were all happy. 

g) New years eve. That is all. also new stupid persona evolutions that look stupid. 

h) Valentine's DAY!!! I bang Rise on the da beach!!! Also if u slink with marie at all she forces you to cheat!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

i) OH, NO! Yosuke is going to have to move maybe idk wasnt he supposed to want to move??? idk shut up. anyways. to keep yosuke miserable his friends have to become a band in TWO DAYS!!!! How will they ever do that??? well guess what with zero experience the entire group becomes master musicians in TWO DAYS!!!!!!! That's right, it's that easy!!!! U 2 can become as good as Green Day in two Days!!!! not that they ever play again lol or ever bring this up again lol. Then the dudes jump into the crowd and lol the crowd dodges thme aand nothing is accomplished. 

j) New super awesome epilogue you only get if you slink marie even tho she isn’t there for 90% of it whatever the new designs suck

Anyway since the game isn't slice of life enough you can now bang rise in the movies and the hot springs also you can go out at night so exciting.

You can now force Naoto into sexy outfits against her will because isn’t it so cute when girls don’t like being objectified??? Also they molest her at the hot springs??? Also 

So yeah P4G sucks ass. But ATLUS didn't stop there!!!! OH no! Atlus then went on to make Persone Q!!! They decided this time to drag innocent bystander P3 as well!!

Persona Q: some bullshit about a dying girl causes the P3 and P4 cast to meet in a wonderful culture festival crossover!! With lovely gameplay and no regression in character!! Chie always had nothing to her past loving meat right????? Also yu can fuck the dog from p3!! isnt this so believable and not the least bit stupid or contrived? isn't it?? Isn't it???????? Not much to say its just dumb surely Atlus must be done now right?? RIGHT?? WRONG!!!!!!

 Now you see since P4G came out, OBVIOUSLY the anime needs to be partially remade! You may be asking, isn't the anime less than TWO YEARS old at this point? Why remake it? Did golden really have such a different story? No. 

P4 Golden Animation: Marie, marie, marie, marie, ten episodes of marie, never goes anywhere, confusing and boring af but look 16 yr olds in bikinis and nude and not totally shit animation so it's ok right? RIGHT? RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P4 at this point has been raped to death all over again and the corpse is still being fucked and they won't just let it die. BUT NO!!!! Enter p4 arena ultimax!!

P4 Arena Ultimax: B/c the first was so great, they made another!! Game so nice they made it twice!! but now the dark hour from p3 is back because idk we ran out of ideas. Also junpei and koromaru and adachi great. But guess what!!!!!! AWESOME NEW CHARACTER!! His name is sho!! He is the secret son of dude from P3, how is this possible? fuck you. Anyway he is so tragic and sad he hates friendship!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! :((((( But never fear!!! The p4 team will show sho the glory of frienship isnt this so interesting and original and great????

p4's violated, torn up corspe now has zero dignity left so atlus decided to reanimate the corpse with dead horse dildos and force it to dance 

P4 DAN: Dancing. Shit dancing. Nobody knows how to dance. Remember how P4 used to be about murder and accepting uncomfortable truths???? Well now its about shittily animated dances. Isn't this so great? Guess what we lean about the characters? We learn that they can't fuckin dance and watching them is cringy af. Also now the tv world is a dance stage because the tv world just does whatever the fuck we want it to. what if a characters shadow is a rapist, would they be forced to rape?? is that how atlus would make a porn game?? if we wanted to make a chess game a famous chess player who feels forced to play chess will then make u forced to play chess. .... so obivously, the P4 fandom realized that Atlus was raping their game and refused to buy it right?? RIGHT??? WRONG. They actually will castrate you with a rusty carving knife if you ever so much as imply P4 is a cash cow.

It totally is tho

[i-love-jade-harley]

alright heres some of my homestuck/warcraft headcanon shit

basically just like

what race they’d be/play, what class, what spec, how theyd play, how often they play, etc, etc...

idk how many characters im doing so more below the read more bullshit

mostly a ramble tbh lmao

(beta + alpha kids, beta trolls, calliope + caliborn. sorta a everyone lives/nobody dies au)

if u need to know what smth means just hmu

OKAY so lets start off with the kids

ok personally i think john would play either a monk or a paladin?? like i think he’d prefer the playstyle of a paladin but his monk would be for heals in case a raid group or smth needs it. he’d honestly probably do LFR and just casually play in general, but sometimes he’d play for like 11 days straight then not get back on for 2 months. but when he’s playing casually he just does LFR and world questing, maybe sometimes doing dungeon groups with dave or something. he’d probably be a DPS paladin because tanking is bullshit and so is healing. (believe me i know) he’d also use the heckin goofiest mounts there are. like you know the chicken? he’d spend the money to get it. like actual cash. he wants the chicken. let him have the chicken. but back on the topic of race he’d probably play a dwarf or a gnome. he’d probably have a level 2 gnome hunter. he also runs a prank guild that all the kids are in! a few trolls are in it, too. vriska, kanaya, terezi, and karkat are in it. 

rose??? would probably play a shadow priest. probably nothing else, really. she may go heals every once in a while but dont expect her to want to. she plays a human. she only plays human and worgen. belf if she has to go horde. i dont really know if she’d just play casually because dave roped her in, or if she got really into it so now she has 12 max level characters. even if she doesnt like the game itself, she’d probably really like the lore!!! she’d probably also love the idea of xmog and what you can make your characters look like, bc some of the xmog is really badass. she’d probably use the emo purple bird thing as a mount (i forgot the name) or maybe she’d use the wotlk undead dragons. maybe the bc netherwing dragons?? im not sure!!! for pets she’d def have the feline familiar with her at all times (roxy would too) because who doesnt want a little witch kitty flying on a broom with you???

dave would honestly play a survival hunter. except he’d just punch shit to death. just autoattack. though when he’s ACTUALLY playing like a normal person he’d probably play a dps warrior. i could also see him tanking sometimes if he needs to. he probably only has one or two max level characters, but they have decent gear. he probably sometimes actually plays his hunter in a decent way but he probably just goes to low level neutral areas. he probably plays on a pvp server for that exact reason. he has one level 10 belf. he uses it to dance on mailboxes and get gold. he really just trolls people on it. he also roleplays, but makes sure to do it in the shittiest way possible. he only uses walk. no running. he uses the biggest mounts he has and walks on roleplayers when hes playing on an rp server. he probably raids on his warrior and is probably in a raiding guild. he purposefully mic spams the raid so he just gets muted, though. for mounts he’d obviously use the love rocket that he worked oh so hard for. for pets i dont really know what hed use?? probably brightpaw or whatever the purple cat thing is. he makes rose disappointed because he pays for mounts and pets with real money. tsk tsk. he has no professions except fishing, which he has maxed out. he may also have a DK that he has just to piss people off. hes the second highest tier in the prank guild. whenever they do raids (they occasionally do) he rp walks across the map to get to the raid. kanaya screams at him to accept the summon but he insists that he’s almost there. 

jade would def have herbalism as her main profession!! she may also have mining to sell on the auction house. she would DEFINITELY play a bm hunter!! its a worgen all the way. she prefers to have it in worgen form too. since she doesnt really like horde and cant use many wolf mounts, shed def go with the mechanostriders! for flying i think she’d use the serpents!! i could also see her using the pandaren turtle moutns. her fave xpac is def either mop or wod. she actually liked garrisons. she’s really slow w leveling so she isn’t max level for legion, but her friends still play with her!! (me too buddy) she likes doing mount/pet/reagent farming and regularly gives her friends herbs and other mats to level their professions! she also sometimes roleplays with dave in goldshire to mess with people. she loves using emotes like /lol and /joke! she also uses toys VERY often. her hunter pet is a white wolf named bec, and she has a team of battle pets consisting of fel pup, frostwolf ghostpup, and cinder pup! sometimes she’ll use lil bad wolf, though. she’s actually super good at pet battling, but she only battles friends. she doesnt play to be the “best”, she just plays because its a fun game! she also loves playing hearthstone.

jane doesnt play much, and has a level 60 dwarf resto shaman. the only reason she has looms is because roxy gave her the gold to get them. she only has level 20 riding, and only has a single horse. she still plays with friends, but the game just really isnt her cup of tea. she has a few cool pets she found while playing in low level areas, and she likes playing the auction house when she does play! she’s in a prank guild that john owns (all the kids are in it, they prank the trolls and roleplayers) and that’s honestly the thing she enjoys the most. 

roxy loves doing pvp with dirk. some of her friends call them the sneakies. she plays a rogue, and switches around her spec depending on what kind of pvp she’s doing. (as in she switches specs for open world, battlegrounds or arenas) she’s decked out in full pvp gear and always gets the newest tiers when theyre released. though she loves pvp she really does love raiding but she prefers playing with her friends! she helps everyone exploit game bugs for the prank guild, and will help cover peoples tracks when gold buying and such. she has all of her fun mounts set as favorites and just randomizes which one she rides. she uses the feline familiar pet EVERYWHERE. she wont use any other pet. at all. roxy also datamines ptr and spoils new lore for rose occasionally.

hoo boy. dirk is a top tier pvper. he mostly mains a ww monk and a rogue for pvp. he has 12 max level characters and 12 horde ones that are also max. he chooses class/race combos based on which one is the most reasonable for lore. he has an orc hunter named getshrekt. hes gold capped on all of his alliance characters. hes basically sleeve (if you play on bonechewer i hope you know who im talking about) he multiboxes 25 accounts to shit on leveling players. roxy helped him set this all up. all of his bots and multiboxes are hal. hal plays with him. he buys gold from a third party source and overthrows the wow economy. he causes the great depression in wow. he buys out every mat and then puts them back on the auction house for a few silver. since hes gold capped this has 0 affect. his character for the prank guild is maxed out and in pretty decent pvp gear. its also gold capped. he buys level boosts and uses actual money to buy tokens to increase his gold numbers. hes everyones worst nightmare. hes the reason no one plays horde on dirks server. dirk plays with roxy a LOT. they do arenas and basically just crush anyone who dares standing up to him. he exploits game bugs and has items people didnt know exist. he uses his special snowflake mounts that people thought were unattainable. he has bots farming spawn points for herbs and mining nodes. he plans on ruling the economy of his server. he ganks people that are his own level. he camps their corpses until they force quit the game. hes absolutely hated. he’ll be flying, and itll look like someone with a glitched name. then he’ll land in front of someone, and 20 multiboxes will spread out behind him. he ganks his victim. there is no escape. no mercy. 

jake plays a worgen mm hunter! he refuses to use bows and crossbows. it ALWAYS has to be xmogged to a gun. he mostly does world quests and only has horse mounts to keep it simple and traditional. he likes to collect pets and plays with jade a lot! he’s also in the prank guild and absolutely LOVES it. he loves the open world aspect of the game. he also collects random items in-game, like the scarabs from ahnqiraj (i personally collect those oops) he’s also a bit of an altoholic, and loves leveling, but never really finishes anything. he has all of the exploration achievements. ALL OF THEM. he love love LOVES exploring the maps in the game. he also actually LIKED the cata revamp because it gave him more to explore. he has a goblin thats also a hunter thats level capped just so he could explore horde areas without worrying about being ganked or attacked. he knows his way in all of the major cities. you know huntards? well jake is the complete opposite of that. hes an amazing hunter. it surprises his friends. 

bonus: hal helps dirk with being an asshole to everyone on the servers he plays on. he multiboxes with dirk and set up bots to watch the auction house for him. hes just as much as an asshole as dirk is.

NOW FINALLY ON TO THE TROLLS!!!! 

aradia plays a belf destruction warlock. she’s a casual player and plays with sollux a lot. she doesnt play very often, but when she does she gets really into the game, especially when playing with friends! she doesnt have many mounts, but she has the headless horseman mount and thats what she uses most of the time. she has maxed out archaeology and has all the items for it. though she has the pets from it, the only pets she uses are frogs.

tavros plays a gnome bm hunter unironically. hes not a very good hunter but not huntard level. he mostly plays with the other lowbloods, sometimes vriska. he only really got roped into wow because of its ties to hearthstone. he wanted to know more about the characters, but stayed because of the animals. it really isnt too much of his cup of tea, but still plays because his friends do. he doesnt have professions nor a maxed out character. he has the mechanostrider mounts and the default pets. he also has the heartstone mount.

sollux heckin loves wow. he plays a troll mage. he switches between fire and frost, but never arcane. he hates arcane. he mostly plays with aradia, but he likes the occasional raid. he has good dps with decent gear. hes mostly a casual, but he loves messing with the games files and datamining. 

karkat is a....special player. he has a blood dk that hes maxed out but hes in all green quest gear. he keeps trying to defeat dave in a dual but it doesnt work. dave got rose and john to help convince karkat that gnome is masterrace. he believed them. now hes a shitty little gnome aggroing everything and getting caught in the fire. he’s very upset because he cant beat dave. help this poor boy. his only pets are crabs. he has all of them. every single one. they’re all the poorest quality, but he loves them anyways. the only mounts he’ll use is mammoths to be an asshole to everyone. he plays a lot because he wants to crush dave’s pride. help this boy.

nepeta plays either a bm hunter or a feral druid! she roped equius in, and they tried to level together, but equius went too fast, so nepeta doesnt have a maxed out character. she enjoys playing with him nonetheless, even if its just running around stormwind! she plays on a roleplay server (NOT moodguard) and loves roleplaying and meeting new people. she rides the tiger/saber mounts and has all of the cat pets! she almost refuses to go out of cat form when on her druid. both of her toons are nelfs.

kanaya mains a human affli warlock and a nelf demon hunter. she likes the aesthetic of both locks and dhs, but prefers the play style of a warlock. she plays with rose most of the time, and they do world quests when they play. she has tailoring and enchanting as her professions, and both are maxed out. she prefers this because she can just make her own gear to sell and get gold. she has the jade panther that rose made her, and uses that mount most of the time. she doesnt really like collecting pets, but rose gave her a moth that she adores. 

terezi plays a resto druid on nepetas server, and mostly roleplays with vriska. she roleplays as a dragon most of the time. she has all of the dragon pets and mounts, and shes VERY proud of her collection and wont hesitate to rub it in vriskas face. she almost got banned multiple times trying to complete her collection. she prefers doing old world raids and farming to get xmog to improve her roleplay outfit, and so she can have different sets for different characters. she sometimes roleplays with nepeta, but most of the time she roleplays with vriska.

vriska plays a nelf demon hunter, and roleplays with terezi on her server. sadly theres no spider mounts but she has the recruit a friend rocket because she did raf with tavros. she does pvp when shes not roleplaying, and she’s trying to get on the highest level. she has all of the spider pets. every single one of them. she tries to overthrow the auction house, but cant. (shes not on dirks server, so hes not messing her up. its just that she doesnt have much gold because of xmog.) she likes to ruin some peoples rolaplays, but loves roleplaying with terezi and sometimes nepeta. 

equius only got into the game because of nepeta. he didnt think hed like it at first, but he really does. he prefers to tank. he has a maxed out dk, warrior, monk, and paladin. he and nepeta tried to level characters together, but he went too fast for her. he has all of the horse mounts and will only ride those. hes not very interested in pets except the engineering ones, and engineering is maxed out on his main toon. he enjoys raiding in his free time, but will also pvp for mounts. hes mostly casual.

oh man, gamzee should be interesting. he plays a troll shaman. no one really knows what he does, really. they just see that hes online and in a major city. is he playing the auction house? is he talking to people? no one knows. when the darkmoon faire comes around, he plays for all 7 days straight. he doesnt really ride mounts or have pets, but he collects them. no one knows why he plays or HOW hes maxed out in raiding gear. he just is.

eridan is a whiny bitch when it comes to wow. he wants to get on dirks level but doesnt know how to. even though hes sometimes a bitch about it, he does enjoy roleplaying and playing with karkat. he plays an arcane mage or a mm hunter. the only mount he rides is the sea turtle mount. you know the one? the one that makes you slow on land but fast in water? yea. he rides that. he HAS other mounts, but he wants the turtle.

feferi does NOT like wow. i mean, yea, she’ll heal for raids, but she doesnt like killing things. she plays a resto shaman and doesnt use a specific mount because she doesnt play that often.

calliope also doesnt like wow, but will play with roxy. she likes doing pet battles, and thats really all she does. she has a level 10 druid that doesnt have a spec. she has no mounts but has cool pets that roxy gave her. she camps in stormwind and refuses to go ANYWHERE else. 

caliborn LOVES world of warcraft. he roleplays with dirk on moonguard, but dirk says nothing. just to piss off caliborn. he tried to multibox to kill dirk, but he ended up freezing his game. he constantly pesters the alpha kids, and really doesnt talk to anyone else except to make fun of new players. he has 1 mount and its the goblin mount. he mains a goblin rogue thats level 40. 

[therewas-a-girl]

What do u like about Wildqueen?

Anon i love that u asked me this question (i cant sleep so this is great).

Rene is ex military; he was dishonorably discharged for doing sth morally questionable because of something he believed he had to get done. He regrets that deeply (though im not sure he regrets what he did as much as the results of it), as seen in the episode after he was tortured, and he is haunted by his failures , which he sees as a sort of chain that make up his life.

now, thea knows how that feels. She would be able to relate to the discipline, to the dedication that might be ingrained into someone from a military background. and also to bending of general morals to get shit done and/or compromising herself and her integrity for something. (Because she did go with Merlyn, compromising herself cause she wanted to be stronger) I don’t think she would hold what he did against him, or judge him; nor would he hold it against her that she did sth very daring to get control of her life again.

Both Rene and Thea tried doing good with what they were left with, after their failures/tragedies/disappointments. Here is where Rene and Thea might have interesting discussions though, because the WHY of this varies for them. Thea’s morality is much more fluid than Rene’s, I feel. Rene seems to have the whole ‘this is right and this is wrong’ thing going on, while Thea seems more of a ‘this is right for now cause it gets the job done or works for me’ kinda girl. (she has limits obviously) She is not really a joiner or a by-the-system kind, while Rene was military. [what could have possibly prompted a man with such contempt for anyone telling him what to do, to join the military? maybe he was running away from something  - his family situation  - and saw the military as his only escape?] I don’t think he really like being within a structure that tells u what to do, though he could have made friends and found a family of his own there. After his discharge and what prompted it, its also just as probably that he is very disappointed/disillusioned by it. (Personally i doubt that he likes being part of a hierarchy because he has serious authority issues which thea shares and in both cases it stems from parental abuse). Anyway i just know that when it comes to why they do the stuff they do, or why he does and she stopped, those two could have some interesting conversations.

Not to mention that they both would totally relate to each other when it comes to the fuckton of trauma they have been through. Just once i would like to see someone react humanly - as in, the way I do, not the way arrow characters react to fucked up shit that happens to that - to what Thea has been through. I mean, can u imagine? Rene would lose his shit if he knew that

‘yeah i was stabbed through the heart with a sword and almost died and then took a dip into a magic hottub and then got super bloodthirty and THEN ALMOST DIED AGAIN FROM THAT SAME WOUND". ‘u were stabbed.’'Yeah’'Through the chest’'Yup’'By an actual sword? ’*a beat* 'what kind of fucktard psycho uses a sword? ’'oh u would be so surprised. Actually thats bad. With the kind of record the team has, u need to learn to handle one.’'A sword? o_O R u shittting me??’'I shit u not’'Wait wait wait. You took a dip into this pit and now youre like… alive. ’'Yeah’'…dude… thats way weirder than im prepared to handle.’'I KNOW RIGHT!!! ’

(Idk what that up there is, ignore it. Itbsounds more like me talking to thea 😂)

Rene is instinctively protective of those that he percives as needing protection. He went against olivers orders to help a little girl who was in danger in the II ep; because he probably didnt even think about what the Green Arrow would say or do to him. But he also treated Evelyn as an equal and never babied her. (Cause arrow forgot she was a kid but anyway). Thea would most definitely apriciate that and also find it highly refreshing after olivers constant worrying about her and malcolm taking away her agency at every point.

Not to mention that Rene is exactly the kind of dude to find Thea’s ability to kick his ass with one hand behind her back incandescently hot. U gotta respect a guy who respects and is turned on by female power.

He fights hard for what he wants - he is determined and Thea would respect that cause so is she.

Also notice how he always kept his flirting very casual, never pushy never putting anything on her, mostly fun. Cause thats a good point in his favour and would be in Thea’s books too. And how she dismisses him but in a kinda half amused half annoyed way. Its rather hilarious. And i love that despite her shooting him down he never gets bitter about it. Those two times he just kept on smiling. I bet their flirting would be so agressively playful.

He is very observant (as far as I’ve noticed he is the only one that brings in the evidence for felicity) and im thinking he is very good at noticing when ppl change patterns of behavior. he didnt realize what the change meant in Evelyn, in terms of emotions, but he was able to pinpoint exactly /when/ it had happened: after they learned oliver was a the Hood. —> Thea is super smart emotionally and has this amazing radar about when ppl’s *feelings* shift. Oliver and moira never fooled her with their 'were gonna pretend for theas sake’ shtick. She didnt know why but she knew sth is up. That’s great material there. Id be willing to explore that. The good and the bad. The way they might pick up on each other’s moods, tendencies. Good and bad days. The different ways they would notice stuff about each other: Rene by noticing when she does things differently, when she deviates from her routine. Thea noticing when he is angry or happy or annoyed about something, learning how to associate his expressions with his feelings. The two of them baffling each other on how they notice these little things that the other wouldn’t think to notice about anyone, or that they didn’t think anyone noticed about them.

It’s fun to think about.

Rene is exeptionally straightforward and honest. Thea would love that about him. Both would speak their mind frankly to each other since neither is more sensitive than the other.

Rene seems to concentrate on things he does well - mostly physical stuff, stuff with his hands (i noticed this in the crosover. While the nerds were doing their own thing rene was calmly sitting down doing his own thing, handling his weapons i think). He’s probably a kinetic learner, like Oliver. And is very comfortable around ppl who do well with their own things, which Rene might have no idea how to do. I just mean that he is comfortable in his own skin and isnt threatened by other people's power or inteligence. (That moment when Felicity delegated to him and Rory to do that analysis thing, and Rene was totally chill admitting he had no idea what felicity had been talking about and that he Rory and Curtis were the smart ones). And this brings me back to Thea being absolutely charmed by this kind of quality because Rene can manage to be sure in himself without being arrogant.

Also circles back to him loving that he can actually learn stuff from her, fighting-wise. And that would really boost Thea’s selfconfidence because i can just see Rene being flirty about it at first and then surprising her by taking her very seriously and truly wanting to learn.  And in turn she would be a good teacher because though not always the most sensitive, Thea is patient. She would love it that he is sure in himself that he would think nothing of asking her to teach him. And that he respects her and her skill to want to learn from her. Something that nobody has asked her before. And in turn, she would notice that he is an amazing team player and that she can actually play off of him when it comes to having a laugh or teasing the other team members cause theyre both sich little shits. (im also thinking that Rene’s specialty in the field would be recon - because he is so good that noticing when the environment changes, and keep track of patters and routes and stuff like that)

Rene was physically abused by his father. Thea was psycologically abused by hers. They would be able to regognise each others hurts and false-steps naturally and it would add another layer of understanding to their relationship but also a kind of tenderness and protectiveness for each other. I feel like neither of them is much of a cudler in the traditional sense of the word but they would be able to understand each others need for affection and the occasional fear of it. I mean - their scars are symetrical in some way so they would understand each others impulses a lot better than most have before them.

Despite his history tho, rene loves kids and seems hopeful about having kids (abused children will tell u that growing up into that kind of person takes strength and most certaily, goodness), which tells me that there is a lot of hope inside that man. Thea seems to be struggling to grasp onto some kind of hope, for a normal life, a normal self, something to give her meaning. They could help each other find that hope within themselves. Rene could have a positive thing or two to share with thea even, since she is more of a stark realist while rene seems to be more positive.

He is so fucking upbeat about things he actually enjoys. Like the christmass sock that evelyn gave him. Remember that smile? How eager he was and how he tore into that gift - that was precious and so pure, in the real sense of the word, not the tumblr one. I think even after all hes seen rene - and i think this is his best character trait - still has that boyish wonder intact. What makes him an idealist no matter how hard he protects himself with that jaded attitude. Hes not jaded - hes pragmatic and has issues.

And thea, oh my god, she needs someone who can really just have fun with her again. Someone who would delight in having a good time, who would love to laugh with her. Who would teach her how to see the wonderous and the joyous in the world again because i think she is having such a hard time this year. (Im very suspitious of the extreme change she has made from last year to this year and how stubborly she clings to this new status quo. Not that she shouldnt want to get away from the violence - that is an a+ reasoning for her. But her stubborness to keep away feels like fear. And i want to know what she isafraid of and why. Why she doubts herself) Im not at all convinced she is doing as well as she fronts and even if she is, she seems so serious all the time. She used to love parties - not the drug and alcohol kind but the 'together with my family and friends’ kind and rene dies too. They would have the most outrageous christmass ever. Thea would totally spoil him with all these eccentric gifts that are rpobably super inner jokes between them and rene would have a blast decorating the tree with her.

The fights would probably be very explosive cause theyre both hotheaded ppl and where thea can admit she was wrong, rene would need a little more work but im willing to bet that it wouldnt be so hard in the face of someone he loves and considers equal to himself (it was harder for him to apologise to oliver cause its a power thing and a dick measuring thing and a pride thing - elements that would be a non issue cause there would be no such disparities with thea)

Theyre also both very physical ppl and very expressive ppl so im guessing sex would be such fun for them and theyd love to try new things and just go for whatever they want.

Look i could go on. But these are all the surface level stuff i could think of. Im sure there is more. For the most part, what got me into thinking i could rly like the idea of them is the fact that around her, rene is a total goofball (i just love how sincere he is in his admiration without once seeming creepy) - i like seeing him like that and i would love to see thea laugh more. I just think they could be good to each otherband that there is a story there.