#not just because he's beautiful that's not the only reason
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Nancy knows what people think when they see her and Steve together these days. People mostly include Robin Buckley who, despite what they both say, Nancy doesn't completely believe isn't carrying some kind of torch for the man.
They aren't dating, but it's obvious to anyone who knows them that's what Nancy is angling for. She's not subtle, and she's not trying to be. Doesn't see any reason why she should be. But she knows what it looks like. Nancy Wheeler, fresh off an amicable but heartbreaking end to her relationship with Johnathan Byers has turned tail for a rebound with former boyfriend Steve Harrington. She's using him. She's leading him on. She's going to break his heart, again.
The truth is that Nancy has always liked Steve, was in love with Steve for a fleeting moment when they were both young and stupid and full of mistakes waiting to be made and in the end they had hurt each other, misunderstood each other, too many times to last through their tumultuous teenage years.
The Nancy and Steve of 1984 couldn't have loved each other right, but Nancy knows in her heart that the Nancy and Steve of 1987 could make something beautiful.
Steve is so different from who he used to be. There's a steadiness in him that he always tried to emulate but never fully embodied until the summer of 1985. He always knew how to make her laugh, how to get her to tap into that adventurous spirit within her and live life, but now he also makes her feel safe.
She wants to hold him the way he used to hold her. Wants to whisk him away to New York and build a life perfectly balanced between her ambition and his steadfastness. So she's putting everything she has into rekindling those embers that have always smoldered between them into a steady fire.
She just has to convince Robin that she's in it for the long haul this time.
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Robin thinks that before she met Steve Harrington her life was never so much like a soap opera.
Her best friend seems to attract danger, betrayal, and romance to him like the world is full of moths and he's the only flame for miles. It would be funnier if it wasn't so god damn annoying sometimes.
Steve doesn't know it, despite how much he insists on being some kind of love expert, but he's got two very eligible bachelors vying for his hand at the moment. She's pretty sure they both see themselves as tragic heroes in this tale of romance, but from her vantage point, it's more like two ornery cats fighting for the prized spot of their owner's lap.
Nancy and Eddie have made themselves both near-permanent fixtures at the Family Video. Ostensibly, they come in because Hawkins is still in the process of rebuilding and there isn't much to do at the moment outside of wandering the woods, loitering at the convenience store, and watching movies at home. In actuality they're both trying to monopolize as much of Steve's time as possible, each trying to lock down his weekend plans before the other.
The first couple of weeks it was funny just to watch, now the only enjoyment she gets out of the whole circus is ruining their plans. She relishes the pissed-off-priss look she gets from Nancy when she asks Steve to go to the drive-in the next town over and Robin turns it into a group outing instead. It's equally funny to watch Eddie's puffed-up shoulders droop when he can't figure out a way to say no to Robin enthusiastically asking if she can join them at the trailer to smoke up on a Saturday night.
In truth, as much as she enjoys messing with them, Robin knows who she wants to win this war. She knows too much about Steve and Nancy's past and all the ways they weren't good for each other to trust her deceptively fragile best friend in Nancy's capable hands.
Eddie, on the other hand...well she's still going to make him work for it before she throws him a bone.
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Eddie's never been one to fall in love.
He's had crushes, shared a few kisses with girls and boys alike, and lost his virginity in the same fumbling but meaningful way most teens do.
But love? He's never had that before, wasn't sure what it would even feel like.
It turns out that for Eddie, being in love feels a lot like being an overgrown house plant that's finally been moved into suitably a larger pot.
You see, Eddie knows a lot about growing up on his own. Raising himself and finding ways to survive, if not thrive, with a distinct lack of nurturing. He knows how to grow under someone, to grow under the clumsy guidance of his uncle Wayne who never intended to become a parent. And most of all he knows a hell of a lot about growing despite. Growing under the harsh boot forever trying to push him back into the hard dirt he came from.
It's something else entirely to grow with someone in the way he's been growing with Steve.
Steve who was there when he woke up, almost equally as injured as Eddie himself after a second, world saving round with Vecna. Steve who let Eddie lean on him in the difficult month of physical and emotional recovery that came next. Who helped Eddie come to terms with the new reality he was living under the way Steve wished someone had been there for him after his first encounter with the Upsidedown. Steve, who on paper should have been one of the people pushing him down, always gave Eddie the space to be himself and never tried to force either of them into a box they didn't fit.
Eddie knows he's not The Girl. He's not the one who got away, he's not the stalwart princess in one of his campaigns who saves the day herself but still gets the guy. He's not Nancy Wheeler.
But he's also not a quitter, and even if everything about the world and the narrative arc of their lives says that Steve will never end up with him, Eddie knows he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't put his hat in the ring for the hand of the fair Sir Steve.
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Steve's not stupid.
He knows that there's something happening between Nancy, Eddie, and himself. Knows that if he chooses to look a little closer, to examine why exactly all his weekends are suddenly booked up and Robin has taken to stealing the Recese's Pieces off the shelf whenever either one of them comes into the store like she's settling in for a show, he would come to the conclusion that two of his best friends are essentially courting him in competition with each other.
But Steve isn't looking closer.
His mom always said that he was just like his father, too stubborn for his own good.
Robin says he's a control freak, pushing non-life-threatening problems off until he knows how to deal with them on his own terms.
The truth is Steve already knows how this will end, and he knows how this should end.
Because in the eyes of society, in the arc of the narrative, Steve and Nancy should already be making plans to move out to New York and start a life together. Steve should be looking at apartments while Nancy finalizes her class schedule. He should be looking into getting a job at his dad's New York office to support his future wife through her college education where they both know she'll breeze through her classes and move onto the world-changing career she was always meant to have, while Steve stays home with their children like a perfect little modern family.
And the thing is, if the story had gone like it was supposed to, if the world had been saved the fourth time around and Eddie Munson had died on the cold, hard ground of the Upsidown, that's probably exactly the future that would have happened and Steve would have never known to not be content with it. But Eddie did make it, and while Steve mourns the future he could have had, he knows it's not the one he's going to choose in the end.
Even though Steve knows exactly what will happen when he allows himself to face the ever-mounting tension between the three of them, it's scary to take that plunge.
Everything about Steve's world up until Robin has told him that what he's going to choose will damn him forever, and even if he's never put much stock into God and the church, he knows that the future in front of them will never be easy. There's a part of him that wants to take the easy way out. He's never been attracted to a man before Eddie, never had to imagine himself loving someone discreetly, and the thought of it makes his heart hurt prematurely. It would be simpler, he knows, to choose the path most taken.
But Steve has always thought more with his heart than his brain, and he knows that after everything they've been through, after all the time they've spent healing together and growing as one that he could never choose anyone but Eddie.
The time is coming for him to make his final decision, he can feel it, but for now he'll let them sit in this liminal space a little longer.
#steddie#stranger things#dreamer speaks#fanfiction#eddie munson#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#robin buckly#this one is a little different#but it's been floating around my head for a while#lmk what you think!#Edit: 12/22 for spelling and gramatical errors
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Party time || ln4
☆ summary: y/n throws a end of season party party and the grid find out ln and y/n have been keeping a little secret
☆ pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader x platonic!grid
☆ fc & warnings: slightly suggestive! you are responsible for the content you consume
☆ requested: nope! this has been in my drafts for months
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
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ynleclerc: waiting for everyone to get home from this triple header so we can celebrate like …..
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arthur_leclerc: i’m literally sitting next to you do i mean nothing
ynleclerc: uhh yeah you’re not alex or rebecca or carmen or lily or lily or kika or leo
arthur_leclerc: blocked
charlesleclerc: wow leo gets a mention and not me?
ynleclerc: oui
alexandrasaintmleux: leo and i miss you. we’re counting down the days 🤍
charlesleclerc: mon amour 😫 don’t encourage her
ynleclerc: f off charles! that’s my girl!
user1: the leclerc’s and their beauty needs to be studied
scuderiaferrari: you are always welcome to join us y/n 🤍
ynleclerc: merci admin 😘
user2: is the sun bothering you queen 🔫
landonorris: perhaps you should just come to abu dhabi?? ever think of that!
ynleclerc: omg no never thought of that once!!!
landonorris: y/n/n
user4: is it wrong to say i ship these 2
user3: y/n really said i’m bored pay attention to me and she’s so real for that
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logansargeant: who is on this private story?? need to know who is invited before i even consider showing up
ynleclerc: just abt the whole grid, my favorite girlies, kyle, patito, and bunch of my other friends - some you know !!
logansargeant: i’ll only go if kyle goes
yourbff: i can’t wait!!!!!!
ynleclerc: me either bestie i miss you
alexandrasaintmleux: i am so excited! i got the finishing touches for my outfit today 🤭
ynleclerc: yessss i can’t wait to see it!! you’re going to look stunning 🤩
alexandrasaintmleux: so are you gorgeous girl
charlesleclerc: Puis-je te convaincre de changer de tenue ? [can i convince you to change your outfit?]
ynleclerc: absolument pas [absolutely not]
charlesleclerc: mais mes collègues vont te voir et je ne peux pas les laisser avoir des idées [but my coworkers are going to see you and i can’t have them getting any ideas]
ynleclerc: tant pis pour toi 😘 [too bad for you]
landonorris: are costumes required for this party?
ynleclerc: no but wouldn’t be a problem because you’re already a clown?
landonorris: and ya know what i hate you
ynleclerc: no you do not muppet
georgerussell63: we’re all going to need this after the season 😫
ynleclerc: no doubt georgie especially bc you were stuck in that tractor
georgerussell63: 💀
iamrebeccad: carlos asked why he’s not on the invite and i said it’s because you love me more and now he’s pouting
ynleclerc: a big big baby he is
iamrebeccad: the biggest
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ynleclerc: you may as well have been!!
charlesleclerc: oh so you missed me?
ynleclerc: yes i don’t want to deal with arthur alone anymore
charlesleclerc: i knew it
carlossainz55: wow she didn’t show up to greet me like this???
charlesleclerc: you know the only reason she came to pick me up is because alex and leo were involved
landonorris: where tf was my invite
charlesleclerc: don’t think i don’t know about your little crush on my baby sister
landonorris: gonna have to have a chat w carlos huh
alexandrasaintmleux: my baby girl
charlesleclerc: yes yes you love her i know
arthur_leclerc: she’s so dramatic and for what
charlesleclerc: yes but she is our sister so we must be nice
arthur_leclerc: 🤓☝🏻
iamrebeccad: my two most favorite girls
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ynleclerc: surprised you know what a grwm is
carlossainz55: i’m not that old hermana
charlesleclerc: how are you the favorite friend ?!
carlossainz55: my charm and overall superiority
charlesleclerc: 🙄
landonorris: sooooo carlos… you told charles about my thing for y/n??????????
carlossainz55: what? no i did not!
landonorris: but you’re the only one i told!!!!
carlossainz55: … i may have told rebecca and she may have told alex who may have told charles
landonorris: mate 😭😭😭
carlossainz55: i’m sorry
landonorris: do you think charles knows the full extent?
carlossainz55: rebecca doesn’t think he does
landonorris: great so i can at least keep some of my dignity 😔
alexandrasaintmleux: eeek so cute
arthur_leclerc: you forgot to actually mention that you’re on set up duty not grwm duty
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user2: omg it’s annual end of year party time im so sat i hope the drivers are there and get messy
user3: bisexuality is truly a beautiful thing
alexandrasaintmleux: 😫 mon amour you are stunning
ynleclerc: i love youuuu
landonorris: i’m gonna miss you when i scroll……
ynleclerc: 🤭 good thing you get to see me in real life so no need for missing me
landonorris: so true y/n/n. see you soon 😉
yourbff: i’m foaming at the mouth
patriciooward: 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
ynleclerc: so excited to see you patty
user16: god ur perfect
user22: screw your brothers, i want you
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charlesleclerc: that little gremlin better not be with my sister
carlossainz55: 💀💀💀💀
arthur_leclerc: trying the insta story means he must have really disappeared
carlossainz55: i can’t find him anywhere in this house
yourbff: i can’t find y/n/n either
carlossainz55: charles is gonna have a fit
iamrebeccad: hehhe i think i found him
carlossainz55: oh mi amor where is he?
iamrebeccad: he is with y/n
carlossainz55: where?
iamrebeccad: you can’t get mad at him
carlossainz55: it’s not me you should be worried about
iamrebeccad: they snuck out to get pizza and go to lando’s
alexandrasaintmleux: i may have kept somethings from you and charles 😔
carlossainz55: alex what do you know
alexandrasaintmleux: y/n/n and lando have been seeing each other on the down low for a couple weeks now
carlossainz55: mi amiga 😫 you better butter up charles or his head is gonna explode when he finds this out
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user2: Y/N THIS IS UR PUBLIC STORY
user3: screaming y/n what is this
charlesleclerc: y/n y/m/n leclerc - this is your public story. where are you both right now?
ynleclerc: OOPS!!!!!!!!
charlesleclerc: yeah oops for sure… where are you??
charlesleclerc: ma sœur stop leaving me on read
lilymhe: ARE YOU BOYH AT THE PIZZA SHOP RN HAHAAH
ynleclerc: Y E S!! i wanted pizza and lando was kind enough to take me
lilymhe: so is this like a thing now?
ynleclerc: i think so yes 🤭
lilymhe: omg you’re an evil, sinister, orange girl now 😭
ynleclerc: SCREAMING
user4: y/n it’s 3am what are you two doing rn
carmenmundt: baby what is this
ynleclerc: 😔 i tried to simp on private but messed up
carmenmundt: obsessed but also how is this how i found out??
ynleclerc: i tried to tell you at the dior show but got scared. this is all so new
carmenmundt: no need to be scared darling!! i am very good at keeping secrets but you let this cat out of the bag it seems
user7: omg are you guys together???
user8: drunken hard launch? girl i love you so much you’re my idol
user9: raw! next question
alexandrasaintmleux: hehehe tea
ynleclerc: is charles breathing still?
alexandrasaintmleux: oh don’t worry about your big brother. he’ll be fine. tell me about LANDO
ynleclerc: he is a dream alex 😭😭😭😭
ynleclerc: we made things official 🥹
alexandrasaintmleux: YESSSSSSS LETS GO ITS ABOUT TIME
user5: y/nlando truthers are UP rn
georgerussell63: laughing hysterically at this
ynleclerc: george shut up
georgerussell63: never
user6: guess your party is going well 😂😂😂
[this post has been deleted by user]
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carlossainz55: mate why won’t you respond to your texts
landonorris: i’m sorry im sorry got a bit caught up
carlossainz55: are you having fun?
landonorris: yes 🥹 we got pizza and she admitted she liked me a lot and wanted to make things official
carlossainz55: why didn’t you tell me you two had been hanging out for a while now???
landonorris: i didn’t want to 1) jinx it or 2) put you in an uncomfortable position with charles 😭
carlossainz55: gracias for thinking of me but i’m always here for you cabron
charlesleclerc: no funny business lando or i’ll run you off the road
landonorris: wouldn’t dream of any funny business charles
lilymhe: i hope yall remember this in the morning 💀
landonorris: actually ☝🏻 we are basically sober
oscarpiastri: you stealing the host of the party to take her to get pizza then to your house is crazy work mate
landonorris: i didn’t steal her 😭
oscarpiastri: then why she not at her own party bro
landonorris: bc she wanted pizza
oscsrpiastri: yea so you stole her
landonorris: 😔
maxfewtrell: get that girl 😤
landonorris: i did mate 🤩
danielriccardo: and who is this?
landonorris: y/n leclerc
danielriccardo: a leclerc?!
landonorris: the leclerc yes
danielriccardo: good job kid
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ynleclerc: happy new year from me and mine 🥂✨
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iamrebeccad: stunning 😭
user14: don’t think we don’t recognize those curls on the last slide y/n
georgerussell63: i’m still laughing btw
ynleclerc: and what if i said i hate you
georgerussell63: i’d know you were lying 😘
user23: y/n, alex, rebecca and carmen doing everything together is so important to me you don’t understand
charlesleclerc: wow i made the cut?
ynleclerc: *leo made the cut
charlesleclerc: a brother can dream huh
user45: i love how we are swiftly moving on from that story and back to our regular programming 😭
landonorris: yours you say?
ynuser: perhaps 🫣
alexandrasaintmleux: tea
user47: how am i supposed to be normal about this
user81: don’t edge us omg
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charlesleclerc: please don’t post things like this with my sister
landonorris: i have to show her off charles. she’s too pretty to not be posted 🥹
charlesleclerc: you got me there but i don’t like it mate
landonorris: i’ll treat her right - i promise
oscarpiastri: i’m so glad i don’t have to hear you cry about her anymore 🧡
landonorris: you’ll still hear me crying osc dw
user4: HARD LAUNCH CITY
ynleclerc: you’re so cute im obsessed with you
landonorris: i am the luckiest man on earth
ynleclerc: lando 😭😭
user10: you calling her a gift is sickeningly cute
alexandrasaintmleux: be good to my girl ok? leo and i both will kill you if you hurt her
landonorris: i will! i promise! she is everything i have ever wanted and more and im not going to give that up any time soon
alexandrasaintmleux: music to my ears 🤍
user87: BOTH! i want you BOTH
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#ln4 x y/n#ln4 smau#ln4 fic#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#ln4 fluff#ln4 x you#charles leclerc smau
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Karma - Charles Leclerc
Words: 1,396 Summary: Charles and her had plans. 2025 would start with her fully moving in with him and then at the Monaco Grand Prix, they’d become public. A certain rapper ruins that in Vegas. Note(s): Lamar!Reader, Reader has the nickname ‘Butterfly’, slight smau, changed results of Abu Dhabi, also yes the title is referring to the Taylor Swift song, lol. Thank you @burningcupcakefire for encouraging me to write this when I mentioned the idea!!!
Masterlist | Support Me!
Charles could privately admit that when all the diss tracks started to come out, he more than paid attention to them. He had always appreciated Kendrick’s music but in the past year had gained a new perspective of him as both an artist and a person. All because he had started seeing the artist’s younger sister.
They hadn’t gone public yet, were still unsure of when they wanted to. He had reservations about putting more eyes on her and considering how his fans, how motorsport fans were, he could only imagine the baseless claims they’d made, the attacks they’d lay at her feet and Y/N, or Butterfly as she had been nicknamed by her brother’s fans, a nickname that had quickly caught to everyone in her life, had her own reasons.
She didn’t care about what fans would say, they were behind a keyboard, she could be perfect, and to Charles she was, and they would still find something to pick at, there was no winning. It was the attention he brought. She was already sometimes followed around by paparazzi just because of her brother, she knew that as soon as the news broke, she really would never be able to get her groceries in peace without some divorced thirty-year-old shouting questions as he took photos of her.
So they both had agreed that after the new year, when she was finally fully living with him in Monaco, and then at the Monaco Grand Prix, they would reveal their relationship, that of course didn’t go to plan because of one Instagram story.
—
—
Butterfly is fuming when he gets back to his hotel room, the curtains drawn back and letting the lights of Vegas spill into it, onto her. She’s nearly as stunning here as she is on his balcony in Monaco that faces the coast. A gorgeous backdrop that can’t even come close to her beauty no matter how much it tries.
Her fury makes arousal simmer in the pit of his stomach and his lips twitch upwards when she leans into the kiss he presses to the corner of her lips.
“You're nearly as mad as when he mentioned Whitney.”
She scowls at the verbal reminder of that shit. “He’s lucky I’m a civil adult.”
“Very civil.” Charles agrees.
“I mean, honestly what the fuck does he think he’s doing. Acting like he got an interest in F1.”
Charles listens as she starts to rant, having clearly waited for him, and he listens as undresses. Gathering his clothes up as her voice increases in volume and he gently tugs her with him into the bathroom, turning on the shower before easily lifting her onto the bathroom counter, her hands pausing their gesturing to run over his arms in thanks before she continues.
She rants through his brief shower, nearly slipping when she begins to read out texts between her and her brother.
“He is pissed?” His voice is nearly high, head poking out of the shower to look at her with wide eyes.
Butterfly looks at him in confusion, head cocked to the side. “Baby, of course. Your family. We don’t stand for shit like this against family.”
Charles can’t even point out that said shit is just an insta story of Drake saying he’s betting on him to win the grand prix, because he knows it feels deeper than that, especially with Drake’s history of betting. His mind is far too focused on the word family.
“I’m family?”
She lets out a laugh, tongue running over her teeth. “Baby, you got with me right before one of the worst times for our family and stuck through it. You never had to prove yourself, but that did it. You're stuck with all of us now.”
He feels warm all over at the words and he ducks his back into the shower, quickly rinsing off before climbing out, barely remembering to put a towel around his waist before capturing her lips in a kiss.
Her hands eagerly run over his back, legs opening to pull him closer and he tries to keep his upper body away from her, not wanting to get her shirt wet, but she pulls him closer and he can’t resist her, has never been able to.
“You’ve made me all wet.” She teases when they break apart.
He tries to apologize, but then she’s taking his hand and pressing it between them, against her leggings, and the feeling of wetness pulls a moan from the back of his throat.
“You are very lucky that I don’t listen to Andrea.”
“Very lucky.” She agrees.
—
“K said you had an idea.”
Charles lets out a hum, fingers trailing over her ribs.
“He wouldn’t tell me what.”
His fingers pause. “I was thinking instead of staying in Vegas tomorrow we go and see him.”
“We leave for Qatar on Monday.”
“We can make it back to Vegas in time for our flight. It’s barely a two-hour flight from there to here.”
This time she hums.
“Can we go public?”
He nearly chokes. “What?”
“Public, I want to go public. We had kind of talked about doing it before Monaco next season, but things have changed a bit.”
“Because I’m family.”
She laughs, “Yeah, baby, because your family.”
“What if we do a uh soft launch?”
“A soft launch?”
“Yeah, I’ll take a picture with your brother for my insta stories, start following you, you follow me back.” Excitement starts to build as he speaks.
“I post a little something about being in Qatar.”
“We do a little date night in Abu Dhabi.”
She hums, “You kiss me after you win Abu Dhabi.”
“You think I’m going to win?”
“Fuck yeah, baby. First Ferrari driver to win there and you’ll overtake Norris in the standings and maybe Ferrari will finish P2 in the constructors.”
“I like this plan.”
She smiles. “I like it too.”
—
—
—
—
“Yes Charles!”
“Yes!” He screams over the radio. “Where did Carlos finish? Where did Norris, Oscar?” He wants to celebrate the win, but the constructors and drivers are far more important.
“Carlos P6, Norris P3, Oscar P10. You are second in the drivers. And we are second in constructors, 2 points between you and Norris, four points between us and McLaren.”
“Fuck.” The excitement in him is simmered with resentment. Four points was all it came down to and of course it wasn’t in their favor.
“Charles, Charles,” Fred’s voice is thick over the radio. “You did fantastic, another win for you and an amazing drive!”
He smiles, taking his hands off to wave at fans as he slowly moves around the track. Italian easily spilling from his lips as he thanks Fred, Bryan, the mechanics, engineers and the whole team.
It’s satisfying to pull his car to the number one spot as Lando takes off his helmet, jaw twitching. Charles wants to shake him because how can he be this focused on second in the drivers when him and his team won the constructors. He stares at him for a second before getting out of the car and throwing himself into his teams arms.
They easily catch him, hands patting all over, his name spilling off lips over and over again. They grip him tighter before letting him go to take off his helmet and balaclava.
The air is refreshing against his face and normally he's taking a drink of water, starting to put back on jewelry, but today he’s searching through the crowd of red, heart thumping when he finally notices her.
She’s to the side, beaming at him as Bryan stands on her left while his mom and brothers stand to her right. And he goes to her.
His hands easily going to her face, holding it gently before kissing her.
She’s mumbling something against his lips and he wants to know what, but he can’t stop kissing her. Not when she’s clutching at his arms, pressing closer to him. But a nudge to the ribs makes him pull away, breathless, and his tongue runs over his swollen lips.
“So proud of you, baby! So fucking proud!” She yells at him as he’s pulled away for a post race interview and he can’t help but blow her a kiss, happy to have won in front of her for the first time and in front of his family again.
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#sins fics
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Growing up in the U.S. not wearing makeup didn’t mean just getting asked if I was sick. I was deathly afraid of not wearing it for a reason and my pain is still valid and we’re allowed to speak about the hypocrisy. She never said they were exactly the same, she said they were almost the same. Her point is that they are both a symptom of misogyny. And for the record, the issue with hijab isn’t that women are constantly getting beaten for not wearing it. The problem is that it is a form of religious coercion, which means many women do choose to wear it but for God, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t bad because again, there are still misogynistic, patriarchal reasons for its use. Ultimately, just because one can potentially carry a more harmful risk, doesn’t mean the other one should be acceptable.
Men usually think of coercion as a threatened loss of autonomy. For women, coercion often takes a different form: the threat of losing the chance to form bonds with others, be loved, and stay wanted. Men think coercion happens mainly through physical violence, but women see physical suffering as bearable compared with the pain of losing love. The threat of the loss of love can put someone back in line faster than a raised fist. If we think of women as the ones who will jump through hoops of fire to keep love, it is only because the threat of lovelessness has been used so far against women rather than against men as a form of political crowd control.
Women’s desperation for beauty is derided as narcissism; but women are desperate to hold on to a sexual center that no one threatens to take away from men, who keep sexual identity in spite of physical imperfections and age. Men do not hear in the same way the message that time is running out, and that they will never again be stroked and admired and gratified. Let a man imagine himself living under that threat before he calls women narcissistic. Fighting for “beauty,” many of us understandably believe we are fighting for our lives, for life warmed by sexual love.
With the threat of lost love comes the threat of invisibility. Extreme age shows the essence of the myth’s inequality: The world is run by old men; but old women are erased from the culture. A banned or ostracized person becomes a nonperson. Ostracism and banning are effective, and leave no proof of coercion: no bars, no laws, no guns. Few can bear being treated as if they are invisible. Women have face-lifts in a society in which women without them appear to vanish from sight.
— Naomi Wolf (1990) The Beauty Myth
I remember a French woman who came to me in 1993 and criticized Muslim women for wearing the veil. This French woman had a thick coating of make-up on her face, but she was completely unaware that this also was a veil. The French woman's veil was considered by the global media as modern and beautiful, but the other veil was considered backward and ugly; yet the two veils were almost the same since they both hid the real face of the woman.
-Nawal El Saadawi, “Women and the Poor” in The Essential Nawal El Saadawi: A Reader
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fang i need to see yukimiya with an oversexed s/o so bad
i think about this all the time bc of hypersexuality
tags for some implied religious trauma on mr yukimiyas part and very explicit sexual content. reader is very wanton lol, 18+
it is . sooooo hard for him. the thing is yukimiya genuinely thinks of you as such a warm, kind person. his feelings for you are so deep and sincere and completely removed from any lust he might feel for you. or at least that lust is intertwined with a stronger desire to be gentle and intimate and sweet with you yk
but you are sooooo horny and so shameless and it is soooo much for that poor boy. i do genuinely think yukimiya has like self imposed saving himself for marriage thing. and he's super upfront about it with you from the start bc u so obviously want to jump his bones. he has a very Strong sense of discipline overall.
like the first time you kiss you're just like... all over him. hands in his hair, pressed against his lap, tongue in mouth and he is trying to handle all the sensory input and failing. he has to PRY you off of him and he's so red and he's like no no we can't go any further.
and you pout jokingly but you never push him. you're so sweet about it, maybe a little teasing but that's it. you always express your desires and voice them, always tell him whats on you mind. if you think he looks handsome or sexy or whatever—you'll sort of fidget with the end of your straw and bite and make a comment so unbelievably lewd before moving right along.
you make these like... eyes at him. fuck me eyes, he's heard the term before but he didn't really get it until he met you. you know exactly what you want from him and you're thinking about how you can get it. a little dazed, very determined. always gets him sooo flush.
you brush things off easily enough when he blows you off about it. you're a lot but you're not....forceful or anything. he makes a little face of faux disappointment and you laugh it off and thats all there really is but the longer you date the less he feels sure of himself.
yukimiya wanted to get married young and didnt see a whole lot of purpose in trying to lose virginity to someone he didn't love so he held onto it for longer than most people. that plus growing up religious its just something he was so sure about it.
and he does want to treat you well. marry you. yukimiya is the first guy to ever be such a gentleman to you and he doesnt want to taint that because of his own ...desires. its dirty to him. he doesn't think it's bad when you want things, but it's different when he wants things.
but it gets. harder and harder. you're so forward and you are also so good at touching him (too good) and so attractive already without trying very hard. you could do anything and look insanely beautiful to him but god.
you really don't go farther than making out and heavy petting. but that in itself gets so obscene. the way you space out your kisses, the way you flick your tongue - how your hands slide up his chest and neck, thumb rubbing against his ears, how you carry your weight in his lap, how you use your teeth. you kiss him like you could eat him whole.
when your hand gets on his belt he always loses his sense of reason - only barely tears himself a way from it each time. half-hard and apologetic. eventually you get the feeling that he's not even... it's not like he doesn't want to do it but he's holding onto beliefs he only barely has.
you have to have a long conversation about it i think. give him a peptalk about how you know how much he loves you and sex can be intimate too etc. when he's still resistant to it, you make a compromise. no penetration until he's ready, even if that means marriage. no sex. you think its silly but it helps him make sense of everything.
i think he agrees to this kind of blindly, assuming it will take the edge and tension off. like letting the pressure out slowly so something doesnt explode.
but. once you open that box, you can't really close it again.
so you do everything but have sex. and it absolutely makes him want to fuck you.
its light at first. dry humping while you make out and making him cum in his jeans. giving a handjob or teaching him how to finger you ("for when you do fuck me, someday"). directing him on how exactly you like getting head - on foreplay, your sure hands over his shaky ones as he make him squeeze your tits and guide them into his mouth. tell him the other places on your body you like being touched.
you teach him things about his own body too. or rather, he learns them because of you. his ears get red and sensitive, he likes when you bite his ear lobes lightly.his lips too. likes your hands on his biceps or chest or back, kissing and rubbing his muscles appreciatively. it does something to him. he knows he's attractive but it's... different. it's a nice feeling to be wanted but being wanted by you makes his whole body break into these terrible shivers.
he learns that the tip of his cock is way more sensitve than it should be. he learns he doesn't mind when you take advantage of this either.
he's got a few moles on his body and he likes how you kiss them when you go down on him. on his hip and inner thigh and some other places. likes when you rub up against him in general, when you cling to him during it or when your nails dig into his arms
yukimiya likes how... relaxed you get when you feel good. the first time he makes you cum with his mouth he feels so absurdly accomplished, even more so when you giggle at him and kiss him so full of love.
nothing changes. you go on dates and see each other. sleep in the same bed. but when you stay over at his place now - he's started to anticipate your little escapades.
no penetration. he knows that should mean not getting his dick anywhere near you. but you're persuasive. it's fine, yuu-kun. just slide your dick against me, it'll feel good. you can do it between my thighs, if you want.
the first time yukimiya slides his hard cock through the soft, slick folds of your pussy he nearly passes out. randomly on a date night. it just turns out that way. your hands on the back of his neck, kissing him as it slips through the sticky warmth.
it feels so good. it's mindblowing. it's so unfair. how can something feeling so much better when everything else you've been feeling had felt so incredible? how can there be anything more tempting than what you already do?
but there is. its you with your ass up and your thighs squeeze as yukimiya fucks the plush of them - tip knocking against your clit, catching on your hole, one misstep away from thrusting. the thought haunts him even as he's cumming up against your belly and thighs.
there's a guilt he feels about greed in particular, even more than lust. sometimes you go at it and he just. can't help it. can't help but want more. can't help but shamefully jerk off in the bathroom after you've already done it for a while.
you come onto him the same as always, more now that he's receptive to it but god he can never turn down your advances. even when it'd be smarter to do it. all it takes is his name now, or maybe just you taking his glasses off so it's a little easier to kiss him. it scares him a little, just how easy it'd be to slip up and . take you really. thin threads of control fraying as he gets close and closer to just giving you what you want.
it's Hard. he holds onto it for so long. i think he snaps eventually when you do something very thoughtful for him on a bday or anniversay and he just becomes uncharacteristcally aggressive (not that ur mad) and u have such intense deep missionary. like eye contact, chest to chest, slow rolling of his hips while he grinds into you. it is such a crazy feeling.
yukimiya just really. bends to your whims after you have these breakthroughs. he is so unbearably seduced by you even when he tries so hard to fight but it . god its rough on his brain. shame and pleasure are not opposites for him, that's for sure.
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Full Again
Dimitri Kraminoff x Reader
Warnings: Spoilers for Kraven, pregnancy, angst
Summary: You left him, you ran away. But he found you and he needs answers.
“Why? I thought you were different. You left me just like my brother.”
You couldn’t even look into his eyes. Avoiding him at all costs was the plan for the last year.
Well, almost a year, 11 months.
And there he was.
Sitting across from you at the table in his club.
Kidnapping you was exactly what he did. Bringing you here against your will.
And he only had one question.
“Why?”
The pain in his voice hurt.
“I had my reason.”
“I know you still love me. I can see in your eyes. So then what can possibly be your explanation?”
“I can’t-“ his fist met the table. It made you jump and his drink almost spilled.
“Bullshit,” he whispered. “Did you find someone? Someone better? Taller? More muscles?”
“No.” your answer was immediate and straightforward.
"THEN WHY?" he yelled, his eyes filled with tears.
"Because I was scared and pregnant," you said and a huge weight fell from your shoulders. You looked at your feet and blinked back the tears. "I was scared of your father." you looked into his eyes. "It broke me, but I had to leave. Who knows what he would have done if he found out? You know he never liked me."
"So, I have a child?"
"Yes." your voice was shaky yet it held power.
"How could you be so selfish? I have a child and you ran away?"
"I was selfish yes. A selfish mother who put their child before me. Please, you have to understand Dimi." you were crying. "Last year, during your birthday, your father looked at me and he told me that if I dared get pregnant he would personally kill my child and me. He looked into my eyes and told me this."
"Why didn't you tell me he threatened you?"
"You know I couldn't. And so, like a coward, I ran. I'm sorry." you stood up and wanted to leave.
"My father is dead you know. You don't have to be scared anymore. I took over his business. He can no longer hurt you." you looked at Dimitri shocked.
"How did he die?" you turned to look at him.
"Hunting accident. But I know my brother's hand was in it. You don't have to be scared anymore, come back to me. I will keep you safe. Both of you." he stood up and rushed over to you but you put your hands up, his chest met with your hands, but you didn't push him away.
Your eyes searched his for any sign of a lie.
"Is he really?" you whispered and he quickly nodded. "He is home, I can get him for you."
Dimitri looked confused.
"My father? I told you he is buried, in pieces."
"No, our son. I named him Mikhail. I call him Misha. Two months old, I found a kind woman who babysits him while I work." you looked behind yourself at the door. "I can bring him to you. You can meet him." your head snapped back and looked into his eyes as his hands came to his chest and held yours.
"You are so beautiful. I missed you so much."
His voice was so soft, so kind.
"I'm so sorry." tears began to fall again but his hand held you even closer, pulling you in.
His lips met yours.
It was so sweet and it filled your heart with so much love.
How could you leave him?
You love him so much.
"Let's get our son. I want us three to go home."
Home.
"I will get him for you, just give me a driver and a car. I need to... pack his things."
"Okay, I will still go with you."
"You won't be happy with the place I rent."
---
And you were right.
Dimitry looked at the building and froze.
You took this opportunity to go in and get your son from your neighbour.
"I brought you someone," you told Misha as he giggled. "Your father." you smiled as you lifted him and began putting his stuff away.
Dimitry walked into the apartment with a frown.
"Misha, look who it is," you said to your child with a voice only babies get. Misha was still very small.
Being only two months old.
But he looked exactly like Dimitry.
"My son." you handed your son to Dimitry who carefully held and looked at Misha. "I promise you, I will be so much better."
You believed him, you knew he would try his hardest to be the best father possible.
And you know he will be able to achieve his goal.
Once you finished picking up all your stuff, Dimitry guided you to your new home.
Misha quickly fell asleep and you placed him in the guest room, in the middle of the bed.
"We will decorate a room for him, I will buy everything he will ever need."
"Thank you, Dimi."
You two also decided to go to bed shortly after.
"He usually wakes up once per night to eat," you said as you lay down.
The mattress felt like heaven under your tired body.
"I will get up for him."
"And what will you feed him with?" you asked with a yawn as you closed your eyes.
You could imagine the confusion on his face.
You fell asleep not long after that.
Dimitri stayed up and watched you.
He was so happy to have you back. He was able to finally find you.
And now there you slept next to him with his son sleeping in the other room.
Dimitri slowly got up and headed to the room next door.
He walked in and watched his son sleeping, Dimitri knelt on the floor next to the bed and watched his son sleep.
"You look just like me," he whispered and ran a finger down the baby's cheek.
His mind was completely blank all he could do was feel, Misha's cheek was so soft.
"I now completely understand your mother. I would have run away with you too."
Dimitri watched Misha sleep for about an hour before he headed back to his bed where you were.
He moved in under the blanket and pulled you close before he went to sleep.
His heart also felt full.
A/N: The above picture is not mine, credit goes to the owner. (once we have some gifs uploaded to Tumblr, I will be able to use those)
Taglist:
@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou
@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief
@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen @mel-vaz
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
#x reader#fanfiction#x female reader#Dimitri Kraminoff x Reader#Dimitri Kraminoff x you#Dimitri Kraminoff x fem reader#Dimitri Kraminoff fanfic#Dimitri Kraminoff fanfiction#Dimitri Kraminoff imagine#Dimitri Kraminoff imagines#Dimitry Kraminoff#Dimitry Kraminoff x reader#Dimitry Kraminoff imagine#Dimitry Kraminoff imagines#Dimitry Kraminoff x you#Dimitry Kraminoff x fem reader#kraven the hunter imagines#kraven the hunter x reader#kraven the hunter movie#kraven the hunter#kraven the hunter imagine#kraven movie#kraven x reader#kraven x you#fred hechinger character#dmitri kravinoff#dmitri kravinoff x reader#dmitri kravinoff imagine#dmitri kravinoff imagines#dmitri kravinoff x you
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i just wanna say that maria and shadow are so Perfect in S3. like. she wasn't afraid of him. the first thing she does is REACH OUT TO HIM. first thing seeing him in that tube she's like Hello Beautiful.
she takes his hand and is like Lemme Show You Some Cool Stuff I Do: she DANCES with him. she plays MUSIC, records and live shows. she shows him TV and STARS and he is just Quietly Taking It All In.
and when the scientists are testing him / experimenting on him, she shows up like Wanna Cause Some Mayhem??? and he FOLLOWS her. no questions asked.
she shows him how to Live.
she gives him Life.
and when he is so sad about being Not Human, she is basically like I Love You And That Is All That Matters. I Love You Don't Forget That.
she shows him how to Live. she gives him a Reason To Live. she gives him Her Whole Self. because she wanted to.
this was her only crime; her crime was unconditional love and they killed her for it.
...oops that was long and a little sidetracked. anyway: dont mind me, just screaming. crying. throWING UPPPPPP 😭😭😭💕💔💕🖤🖤
Never apologize for yaps and feels with me, sweetheart. Ever! I love reading them.
These two? These two make FEEL the FEELS and I loved every second of them. They were the best part of the film! In a way, they both saved each other.
#I’m gonna go cry now thinking about them#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#sonicmovie3spoilers#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sonicspoilers#sonic spoilers#mystery anon#off topic
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maybe controversial take, but i like to think of erik being mostly a huge ladies’ man (look at all the bitches he gets canonically, he can’t NOT love the ladies) but charles is just...... this HUGE exception, lmfao. for a while he was totally oblivious to the fact that he was into charles like that but then one day it smacked him HARD across the face that their Very Special Friendship is actually romantic. he’s since embraced being a bisexual disaster but before charles he had no clue.
would be even funnier if erik and charles had already fooled around a couple times before erik actually realized he was attracted to him. who among us hasn’t fucked their completely platonic bro??
it cant be a controversial take if youre onto something my friend .....
#snap chats#now some might say that a beautiful woman and charles xavier are not that different. are they right? who's to say really.#erik spedning time with charles and getting that gross feeling in his chest known as love and just thinking#'ah yeah no this is simply because charles is an esteemed colleague of mine whom i respect immensely'#completely ignoring the homosexual ideas he has in the back of his mind he is forcibly ignoring those. Charles Is His Friend. His Ally.#but does erik want him to be more ........ dare he think it .... nay ......... he is being foolish ....#it is only because charles was the first mutant he knew .. that is why he feels so special about him... surely no other reason ...#surely not because his Intelligent-If-Not-Frustratingly-Idealistic friend is incredibly handsome with beautiful lips and gorgeous eyes no..#lowkey is canon tho .... like it is gen so funny how often these two will say Very Flowery Shit about each other#like guys thats ..... hm ..... far beyond anything id say about my friend really !!!!!! maybe im just an asshole tho idk !!!!#im still not over that bit where charles was like 'yeah erik and i spend hours if not days on the phone. our wives are very confused'#girl your wives are confused cause theyre still yalls wives they are going to divorce yall so you two can get together instead 😭😭#in any case ... always a big fan of What Are We hcs ... shit makes me laugh forever ...#wdym yall basically raise a mansion of kids and talk about being each others everythings and youre still like 'we're just friends right'#my guy can be eight inches in his best friend and still be like 'surely this what all friends do'. ridiculous. i love them.
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May I please request headcanons for jiji with a crush that never smiles (simply because she doesnt want to) and he tries his best to make her smile, whether it be by telling a stupid joke, or anything else but it doesnt work. but once he manages to make y/n smile he is so mesmerized that he hides their smile away from others, saying smth along the lines of "only show it to me
“Indelible.” Jiji and you
You and Jiji were good friends for a while, how you became friends? You don’t really remember but, he’s always been a goofy guy. You don’t smile too often not due to personal reasons but, you just don’t want to be out there. So its rare to see your smile, not like anyone at school ever has. So by Jiji’s determination, he really wanted to see it.
“Heyyy y/n i got a totally funny story” he rambles on about his day with Okarun and Momo, he rips funny jokes here and there but he never sees you crack a smile.
• he tries for about 3 months exactly
• he tries pranks, using your humor, making funny faces, doing silly dances
•there have been times you almost laughed but you suppressed it, making him cry in goofy anger
•in the end he resorts to tickling you
You, Jiji and Okarun go to Momos house for a hangout. You guys play many games like hide and seek, hangman, spin the bottle etc. Momo exclaims to use the bathroom…
You say quietly eating the snacks Momo had for everyone until you could feel an unsettling presence behind you, in a millisecond your tickled and you let out the most cackled laugh as if you held it in since the 1900s.
Jiji looks at you with a face of utter shock, your laugh gave him the same feeling as making a newborn baby giggle. However once she leaves you alone, with you curling your stomach on floor from the tickle pain, you immediately get back up and straighten your face in embarrassment. As Momo sits herself back down next to Jiji, she raises her hand in a “mission accomplished!” But he was still mesmerized by what he saw.
he didn’t speak for the rest of the night
The next school day he went to go speak to you, “y/n, why would you ever hide such a beautiful smile from me?” You responded confused “Hide? Sorry i just don’t find myself smiling often.”
He grabs your hand and places it on his face “I want to make you happy, i want to make you smile. Only show your smile to me
—————————————————————-
SHORT IK BUT I LOVED WRITING IT
#dan da dan jiji x reader#enjoji jiji#jiji enoji fluff#jiji enjoji x reader#jiji x reader#jiji dandadan#jiji#jiji enjoji#dandadan jiji#jin enjoji#jin enjoji dandadan#dandadan x you#dandadan fluff#x reader stories#fluff#dan da dan x reader#dan da dan jin#funlovinzara
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Alright chat, here's a list of fun facts/headcanons for my Marauders era au (out of context)
The concept of songbirds has done irreversible damage to Sirius' mental health
Sirius was painfully aware of the fact he was put in the wrong Hogwarts house, while Regulus was (for once) oblivious to the fact he was put in the wrong one
James is deathly afraid of clowns and anything clown adjacent
It takes Remus about 30 seconds to decide if he likes you
Peter can cry on demand, but the fact he cries pretty easily already makes this skill useless
Sirius loves clowns and anything clown adjacent
While Marlene is 3rd in student rankings, she can't brew a potion correctly if her life depended on it
Despite her calm demeanor, Dorcas is a holiday fiend and will find any reason to go all out
Pandora has managed to trick most of the Hogwarts population into thinking she's a seer. She's not, just really observant
Rosekiller started flirting with Peter as an on the wim joke, and fell in love on an even bigger wim
It takes a 2 minute conversation with Pandora for Lily to fall in love
Peter is scarily into horror movies
Sirius is an intense gingerbread fan
James has a habit of getting weirdly poetic with his speech, but only in short bursts
James is the 'eyes always closed anime character' of Hogwarts. Sirius didn't actually know what his eye color was until 3rd year. He gets this from his father
Sirius gets incredibly defensive of his family, but will deny it like his life depends on it
Partial albinism is a Black family trait, most just choose to hide it. Narcissa and Regulus are the only ones who don't
James was the only marauder with a regular (posh) British accent until like 2nd year. He still somehow managed to understand them perfectly fine
Marlene needs glasses but would actually rather die than wear them
Sirius is left-handed, Snape is too and they both hate it because of that
Lily was a horse girl
Sirius is autistic, Snape is too and they both hate it because of that
Peter bakes and Sirius cooks
Remus manages to burn water and James isn't allowed into kitchens. Not because he's bad at cooking, he's actually really good, he just gets really controlling
James is Indian, Mexican, and Chinese
Sirius would die to be taller, but (simultaneously) finds he and Remus' height difference hot
It takes Remus 4 years to fully realize how much taller he is to everyone else
Peter love gardening
Sirius has really neat handwriting, like every essay he writes is in beautiful cursive and he hates it
Snape's favorite color is pastel pink
Snape and Sirius' friendship starts right after a fistfight in a potions classroom
It takes everyone else 6 months to find out about said friendship
When his concealing charm isn't on, Sirius' partial albinism covers the whole left side of his body. He has the most "coverage" in the entire family
James always cries during the dramatic kiss scenes in romance movies
He's also the 'eyes always closed anime character' of Hogwarts. Sirius doesn't know what his eye color is until 5th year
Remus was under the impression he was bi for the longest time because he only ever had crushes on fem/androgynous guys. It took until 6th year for him to realize that didn't count because they were all still guys none the less
James thought everyone didn't see gender when it came to crushes until around 3rd year
This will almost definitely have a part 2, but this is what's on my brain at the moment.
•edit• PART 2
#marauders era#severus snape#harry potter#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#pandora lovegood#pandora rosier#peter pettigrew#lily evans#evan rosier#regulus black#barty crouch jr#rosekiller#partyvan#pandalily#wolfstar#jegulus#possible jeglily#platonic starprince#platonic snily#platonic snirius#dorlene#dead gay wizards#headcanon#pro severus snape#pro marauders
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TL;DR Joe Locke is a really good actor
I accidentally came across a couple people saying Joe Locke isn't a good actor and like... what tf were you all watching?? Cos it wasn't what I was watching, he's so fucking good!! (I can only talk about Heartstopper here cos I haven't seen much of him in other things, but given these posts were related to Heartstopper...) I think this is firstly straight up (ha!) homophobia, with a side helping of shitty masculine beauty standards. I think it also comes down to the story Joe Locke is acting being something people are super uncomfortable seeing, and his success at telling it makes them uncomfortable in a way they don't want to deal with.
Homophobia first. These are almost always people who like Nick/Kit Connor, and that's not a coincidence. Nick/Kit fits very neatly into normative masculinity (although you know I have things to say about that around Nick's character), so people who haven't done the work to recognise their homophobia don't feel so weird about him. (He IS a great actor, but not "better" than Joe, or any of the other actors in the show. He just has a different story to tell that some people find easier to digest.) But Charlie/Joe Locke reads as more "stereotypically" gay, and no matter what BS reasons people come up with for not liking him, it almost always comes down to "he makes me uncomfortable because GAY".
Masculine beauty standards are so related to homophobia, because what we construct as an attractive man is so linked to heteronormative masculinity - tall, muscular, strong etc (let's not forget white, although that's less relevant to this discussion). Charlie/Joe not only falls outside these standards, but he's shown in the story as still being desirable. I love that about this story, because people who fall outside the very narrow beauty standards in Hollywood are still desirable to a lot of people - including people like Nick who meet those beauty standards. We see this happen in public couples all the time, tons of people suggesting that the partner who is further from conventional beauty standards is somehow a bad person, or is "tricking" the more conventionally attractive one. (See all the years of people trying to suggest Hugh Jackman is secretly gay because they thought his wife wasn't pretty enough and therefore must be a beard, it's so fucking gross.)
Finally the whole "character makes me uncomfortable" thing. Charlie Spring's story is super important and it makes people feel things that, if they haven't done their own work, are going to be super uncomfortable. Again, this is tied to homophobia, because Charlie's story challenges masculine norms about what counts as strength, what men "should" be like, etc. He has an ED, he has anxiety, he requires and seeks help, he forms affectionate and strong relationships and needs them to be healthy, etc. These are things men "aren't supposed to do" (and Nick only gets away with it bEcAuSe He'S hOt, that's it, that's the whole reason). People read Charlie as manipulative or selfish or whatever because he's not acting the way they think men "should" act. It's not based in Charlie's character - he is none of those things. But they want to read it that way because to actually recognise what makes them uncomfortable about Charlie would require them to unpack their own homophobia and bullshit masculinity standards.
Anyway, the short version is: I think people need to stop confusing "character that makes me feel uncomfortable feelings" or "person who is unconventionally attractive" with "can't act" cos y'all are very confused.
#seriously tho joe locke is amazing#joe locke#charlie spring#heartstopper#heartstopper show#heartstopper netflix#kit connor#nick nelson
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Not Another Hallmark Christmas Story
@sirenarts
My dear Siren, happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! I am your Secret Santa!
Please enjoy this dark Christmas story.
Summary:
Azriel Singer is my boss. My harsh, unpleasant, demanding boss. A boss that I want to avoid at all costs, but it's proving harder than I imagined. He's infiltrated almost all aspects of my life and there is no escaping him. Now, it's Christmas, and what I did not expect was having him in my house, uninvited and unwanted. But Azriel Singer doesn't care. He takes what he wants. And I fear that perhaps, he wants me?
A dark Christmas story where the hero is more of an anti-hero and consent is dubious.
*this fic is inspired by 'If I Can't Have You' by deathsdoll
-
Chapter One
There she was.
Beautiful.
Perfect.
Exquisite.
Soft and full, and just the right height.
She was everything I was looking for and if I couldn’t have her, I didn’t want anything else.
My fingers itched to touch her.
I wanted to bring her home with me immediately and adorn her in all the finery that I had prepared for her.
I’ve been waiting. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the opportunity to snatch her. Waiting to make her a part of my home, eager to have her greet me every time I stepped over the threshold and to be the first thing that I saw in the morning. She’d scent my apartment with her delicate aroma and would sparkle with a million lights.
I rubbed my hands excitedly.
This one was mine!
All About Last Christmas
The blustery wind of Chicago winter was unforgiving today. It was only 4:53 pm but it was already pitch dark outside and soft snowflakes swirled lazily in the glare of streetlights. I had all but clawed my way out of the office this early–was it early? –requesting a 4:30 pm leave weeks in advance.
My dreadful manager, Azriel Sebastian Singer, pursed his lips, like he was sucking on a lemon, when I encountered him in the hallway on my way out of the office.
“Leaving early, Elain, is not how you get ahead,” he told me then.
“Sorry, Azriel,” was all I said. Why did I say that I was sorry? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t do anything improper or incorrect, but somehow, under his scrutiny, I always felt the need to apologise. For what? I didn’t know.
“Have a good day then,” he tossed dismissively.
Day. Not night. Because unless I left before 7 pm, it was ‘day’ to him. And therefore, I was ‘slacking’.
“Thank you, Azriel,” was all I said. “You too.”
He strode off without further glance, his hand in his pocket, his perfect dark navy suit barely creased.
God, how I detested him. Avoidance has been my preferred and best option when it came to interacting with Mr. Singer, but as he was my direct supervisor, that often proved challenging. However, this time around, I did my due diligence. I’d emailed him weeks in advance–weeks, for god’s sake–only to request a reasonable leave on a Friday in early December. It was frustrating when he didn’t respond for four days and that forced me to ping him again, sending a gentle reminder.
His response was predictably terse: If you must.
That’s how he responded, if you must. Well, yes, I must. Problem was that it wasn’t exactly an answer. Was it a ‘yes, if you must’ or ‘I’d rather you didn’t, but if you must…’? He was impossible to read and I had no idea what his answer actually meant. The most logical assumption was that it was a ‘yes’, however, when it came to Azriel Singer, assumptions were a death trap.
Hence, I was forced to face him, and ask the question directly.
I really don't know why he filled me with so much anxiety. Perhaps, it was because of his superior bearing, and how he seemed to judge everything I did. Maybe it’s his look, intense and scrutinising, the eyes that seemed to be always watching. Maybe it was because he was always…excellent, at everything. No matter what, he just had It–as far as I knew, he jumped from promotion to promotion with remarkable ease, and nothing seemed impossible for him. He dressed well. He smelled delicious. He knew everything there was to know about sports, wine, whiskey, eating, cars, art, music, politics. He knew how to speak to anyone, about anything. He was never awkward, or unsure. And if he was–though I refused to believe it–he never showed it.
But with all that excellence came arrogance, and unreasonable demands, and impossible standards. He didn’t tolerate imperfection at work. He didn’t accept sloppiness. I’d seen him send more than one associate home in the middle of the day because they weren’t wearing suits. ‘We are Night Capital Management, not Sizzler’ was his favourite expression when he berated someone for untidiness or incorrect data. And gosh, have I been on the receiving end of that critique!
Redo, and pages marked up in red.
You are better than this
Sloppy work
Yep, that was pretty typical feedback from Azriel Singer. He never offered an explanation willingly. Never provided guidance.
He just…waited.
He watched me and he waited.
And when my tongue wouldn’t move in my mouth, and tears pricked my eyes, and I couldn’t bear to ask him for help, he simply ordered ‘Fix this’ and left me to break my head trying to figure out what the issue was.
On Monday, I couldn’t wait any longer. ‘If you must’ wasn’t cutting it. I’d wracked my brain all weekend long trying to figure out how to avoid him, and still get the ‘early’ leave permission, but ultimately, I decided to man up and just ask directly. And still I stalled until almost 5 pm, before finally mustering enough courage to walk to his office.
He was seated behind his large desk–devoid of any personal items, of course–staring at his computer. Uncharacteristically, his suit jacket was off, and the sleeves of his pale blue shirt were rolled up almost to the elbows, exposing his thick, muscular forearms. And the scars. Of course everyone was aware of the scars, though not the story behind them, but when I glanced at his arms, I realised just how far the burn scars extended. It wasn’t just his hands. Streaks of glossy scar tissue reached almost to the elbow.
He glanced at me, and then followed my gaze and when he saw me looking at the scars he actually shifted in his chair. Didn’t say anything, but his expression hardened.
“Azriel, sorry to bother you,” I told him, because he hasn’t said a word just watching me stand there. “But, do I have your approval for Friday, the 5th. To leave a little earlier?”
“Didn’t I already give it to you?” he asked indifferently.
“Ummm, I guess,” I responded stupidly.
“You guess?” he repeated. “Did you not get my email?”
“I did,” I stammered. “I just wanted to confirm.”
“Well, perhaps if you need verbal confirmation to emails, then you might as well not bother with them and just run back and forth asking me in person,” he suggested.
I flushed.
God, he was an asshole.
“Okay then,” what else was I supposed to say to him, other than call him names? “Thanks.”
Just as I turned to leave, he suddenly asked, “Where are you going?”
“What?” That was a weird question. “I am…back to my cube?”
“No, I mean on the 5th? Are you going somewhere?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms on his chest, effectively covering the scars, though I saw the gesture for what it was–he was uncomfortable.
“No, not really. I just have some things to do,”
“And the weekend isn’t enough time for you to do those things?” he pressed.
I didn’t know why he suddenly decided to interrogate me about this.
“I just…” I sighed. “Just things, for Christmas,”
“You are taking time off work to do Christmas shopping?” he actually raised a brow in my direction.
“Is it so unusual?” I demanded at last, losing my patience with him. Why was this any of his business anyway?
“So you are going Christmas shopping? Alone?” he repeated.
Alone? Why did he care if I was going alone? “Um, yes. I have things to take care of, alone.”
He hummed under his breath, sizing me up with his heavy gaze.
“Is that so?”
His probing questions drove me crazy. What did he want?
“Are you going to tell me then that Graysen Nolan taking the same day off has nothing to do with this?”
Graysen?
This was about Graysen? I was bewildered by the mention of our co-worker. Graysen Nolan was an analyst on the team, and yes, he’d been flirtatious with me during meetings and lunches, and had even attempted to ask me out, but I wasn’t particularly interested.
There was nothing wrong with him–he was handsome, in a preppy boy sort of way. Tall, but not as tall as Azriel, fit, with a heap of brown hair on top of his head which made him look like a llama. Great teeth and blue eyes. I had nothing against Graysen, but I was too mentally exhausted and stressed out to really consider any kind of dating right now. Especially someone from my own team.
And I guess that I was right to do so, considering the interrogation that Azriel was putting me through currently.
“You know that interoffice romances aren’t encouraged,” Azriel reminded me sternly, watching for my reaction.
“I know that,” I said quickly. “I am not…I am not with Gray. I am not with anyone. I am not dating,” it all came out in one sentence. IamnotwithGrayIamnotwithanyoneIamnotdating. I sounded deranged. But I wanted to make sure that Azriel didn’t think that there was any impropriety happening on his team and that I wasn’t involved with a coworker.
He sighed at last, seemingly relieved.
“Good to know. We wouldn’t want you dating. Anyone…”
“No, no,” I agreed quickly.
He sighed again and finally nodded, “Alright then, have fun.”
“Thank you, Azriel.”
He didn’t mention it for the rest of the week, but as I was leaving today, he just happened to appear in the hallway and offered his unhelpful rebuke about leaving early and my career.
It’s not that Azriel Singer was an awful man. He wasn’t. It would be unfair to characterise him that way. In fact, to most, he was irresistible: at a towering 6”5, he was muscular and extremely fit, his expensive dark suits always bespoke and made to accentuate his excellent physique. He carried himself confidently and with natural ease, and despite being a quiet man, who never said more than necessary, I also watched just about everyone at the office gravitate towards him. He was magnetic in how he moved about, his head bobbing above the line of cubicles, his voice distinct and attractive because of its deep, gravelly quality and timbre. But it was the face that really was unforgettable. Listen, I might not like him, but I am realistic. The man is devastating. Cheekbones that could cut glass, and a jawline as sharp as a knife’s edge. Big hazel eyes, more green than brown and full lips which softened the cruel set of his mouth.
He was the kind of man who succeeded in everything, it would seem. Men were desperate for his approval and women were desperate for his attention.
I don’t really know when it started. I suppose a year ago, last December.
At the last Christmas party, held at the enchantingly lovely The North Pond, there was a trivia game that our Senior Managing Director Rhys Darling had organised, and insisted that everyone partake in. There were groans and moans of discontent and no one wanted to go against Azriel, until they pushed me forward and told me that ‘you are so smart, you can take him’. It’s not that I am exceptionally smart, though Azriel and our Director seem to think so, but the questions were relatively easy, and if you had a good memory, you could take Azriel on. I didn’t want to. I really didn’t. I didn’t want to be scrutinised by those hazel eyes and I didn’t want to see that tiny smirk on his lips. I would’ve rather disappeared completely. But I played along and both of us received the same scores. I think that he was surprised that we came head to head. I wasn’t surprised, but I didn't let him or anyone know that. Azriel only won because of ‘sudden death’ and he shouted the correct answer a fraction of a second before me. The question was tricky–what country that doesn’t directly border the US (aka Canada and Mexico) is closest to America? Everyone was shouting their incorrect answers, most assuming that it was Cuba. A good guess, but an incorrect one. Apparently, only Azriel and I knew the right answer–and he was just a hair faster than I. In case you were wondering, it’s Russia. Only about two miles separates Russia and the US. I know, it’s a fun fact–use it at your own holiday party next.
My colleagues seemed surprised, but they yelled excitedly and High Fived me, like we were at a frat party and not at the North Pond. I supposed that considering the amount of money the company was plunking into this party, a little yelling was allowed. Besides, we rented out the whole restaurant.
It was then that he’d approached me, after a good fifteen minutes of humble bragging about how he is ‘just a dilettante’. I mean, who even uses ‘dilettante’? I noticed a few confused glances, and spotted a couple of people reaching for their phones to check on the meaning of the word.
In case anyone's wondering, a dilettante is a person who cultivates an area of interest, such as the arts, without real commitment or knowledge. A dabbler.
“Elain, a word.”
I remember how I shuddered back then. It was involuntary. I couldn’t help it.
The dreaded expression. It haunted me. Haunts me to this day, really.
Let me explain a little about my background.
I am twenty-seven years old, born and bred in Chicago. I didn’t go away to school, but attended Northwestern, before being accepted to the Kellogg School of Business. I received my MBA and at 26 joined Night Capital Management–one of the top five investment firms in the world. The fancy description of what we do is that we provide investment, advisory and asset management solutions. The short of it is simple–we manage money. Everyone’s heard of BlackRock, Vanguard, State Street, Citadel…We are like that, only more exclusive.
I was hired as a Senior Financial Analyst, in Asset Management specifically. Obviously investments have to do with how to invest the money, advisory is where to invest it and asset management is all about growing the existing funds. And that’s what I do–I run reports, analyse risks, look at projections and calculate the best possible financial option for my clients. Well, our clients. I am not a hedge fund manager. I am just an analyst.
The actual manager is Azriel Singer.
When I was interviewing for the position–seven rounds, no less! –thankfully, he wasn’t in his role yet. He was still a senior manager, a step below what he currently is, which was the manager of an entire fund. For lack of a better term, Azriel Singer 'inherited’ me, and he’s been tormenting me ever since his promotion back 13 months ago.
“Elain, a word.”
And that’s how we met.
I didn’t know who he was. I was in my role only for two months, so I was still getting my bearings and learning who was who and what was what. We received an email regarding him being promoted and that it would be effective in 90 days. We then received another email, this time from him, stating that he was looking forward to meeting us and that we’d be part of his team. He’d schedule individual introductions with each one and discuss ‘deliverables’ and ‘performance expectations’.
I raised my eyes from my screen and was faced with an enormous looming presence, which threw a shadow over my cubicle. He stood there, like some warrior of old–huge, broad-shouldered, pristine, but also wild somehow, his arms so big, they were like tree trunks. He was just so big. And I caught myself thinking that I’d never met a man more handsome than him ever in my life. It was almost obscene.
I blinked at him.
He just looked down, his gaze both disinterested and intense. His eyes, forest-green and brown like hazelnuts, considered me for a long time, as he assessed me wordlessly. I didn’t know what to say, or who he was, and why he was standing here.
“Elain?” he asked at last.
“Yes?” my voice came out sounding thin and small.
“A word,” he said impassively.
I swallowed. Suddenly, my throat felt impossibly dry.
“Yes?”
“Better be done in my office,” he ordered curtly, and then turned around and headed down the hallway, expecting me to follow him.
I jumped up from my seat, still unsure of what he was and who he was, though I suspected that this was my new boss.
His wide, powerful back flexed with muscles beneath the dark charcoal suit that he was wearing. I could see that the suit was bespoke, and British. My younger sister Feyre is a fashion designer and I know all about various styles and cuts of suits, because menswear has very rigorous schools of design. You could never mistake a Caraceni for a Henry Poole.
He didn’t look back to see if I was following. I suppose he just expected me to.
The name plaque outside the door said Azriel S. Singer, Esq.
So he was a lawyer too. Great.
By the time I reached the office, he was already inside, seated behind his bare desk, a wall of windows behind him, overlooking downtown Chicago.
Quite the corner office he got.
“Sit,” he told me. I sat.
He folded his hands on his stomach, lacing the fingers together and I noticed the scars. Obviously I said nothing. He made me nervous. His presence was dark and overwhelming, like he swallowed the air around him.
“Elain Archeron, a Senior Analyst,” he stated the obvious. “You started in Investments, worked there for three months and then were recommended to Asset Management. That’s quite a quick promotion.”
“I wasn't promoted,” I argued quietly.
He shot me an unamused glare, silencing me and making it known that he wasn’t pleased with my interruption.
“Nevertheless you are here now.”
I nodded just once.
“I usually don't do this with my subordinates,” he said meaningfully, implying that I was the exception. “But I will do this for you. Ask me anything.”
“Pardon?”
“You have two minutes of my time. Ask me anything.”
I felt hot and was sweating beneath my black jumper. I had no idea what his game was and why he was bothering me, and I certainly didn't have any questions for him, but I knew that he was expecting something. Something smart. Something that he wouldn’t consider a waste of his time.
“What’s the secret to achieving success?” I asked at last. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and my palms were sweaty.
A small smirk touched his mouth, as if he was pleased with my question.
“In this company?” he said and then rubbed his chin. “Come in first and leave last.”
That seemed deceptively simple.
“That’s all?” I repeated.
He nodded.
“They basically want to see how much pain you can take. How dedicated you are. How bad do you want it.”
Then he peered at him with his penetrating eyes and asked, “And do you want it bad, Elain?”
I looked behind him, at the stunning view behind the windows–the blue waters of Lake Michigan, the greenish ribbon of the Chicago River, the gleaming skyscrapers all around us.
“I do,” I said at last.
His handsome face changed and turned cold and unreadable.
“Are you sure?” he pressed.
“I am,” I insisted.
“Well, we’ll see if you will tell me the same thing in a few months,” he stated menacingly.
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but then he spread a stack of reports on his desk and said,
“Let’s start with this. Because you are not going anywhere with a report like this. This is pathetic. I expect better from a Senior Analyst.”
And that’s how it began.
Three months later, we were at the North Pond, champions of the trivia game. And just like I did every day prior, I heard the cursed expression ‘Elain, a word’.
What did he want? Again?
He already won! I lost. There was nothing else to talk about.
I was hoping that I could sneak out soon-ish and disappear and go home and get into my sweats.
Listen, I am an ambivert. I don’t mind socialising with others, it doesn’t bother me, but I was running on empty and the trivia game took a lot out of me because of the pressure. Not only did I have to lead my team (who were useless), I needed to do that against Azriel, my terrifying boss.
And now, he was yet again, looming over me, probably here to berate me or gloat. Again, in his defense, he has always been reasonably respectful to me, and didn’t put me down publicly. When we were in our 1:1 that was a different story. He never lost his temper, was never unprofessional, was never outright mean or improper. It’s just that he had this ability to destroy everyone’s self-esteem and pride with two-three well-placed words. And it usually began with the words ‘Elain, a word’. I knew that I was about to be annihilated. That my reports would be red marked all over the place. And that I was going to get a dispassionate ‘you can do better’ comment, with him expectantly waiting for me to ask him ‘how’. I never did. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I didn’t care that this job sucked the life out of me and that I spent most of my weekends working. I didn’t want his help. I didn’t want him near me. I didn’t want to see his stupid gorgeous face and hear this stupid gravelly voice. I didn’t want any of it.
“Good job out there,” he said suddenly.
Y’all. I just about fell over.
What was this?
Did I just transport to the Bizarro World? Azriel Singer giving an unsolicited compliment out of his own free will?
I forgot how to speak for a moment or two. I really had no idea what to say and he expected me to say.
“Thank you?” I managed at last, desperately looking around to see if anyone was available to save me. But of course no such luck.
“Please don’t say that you were surprised,” I begged him suddenly. I am not sure where it came from, but I desperately wanted him to acknowledge that I was…good. At something. I was good at trivia, at least.
He looked at me with genuine surprise and even took a step back.
“Why would I?” he asked.
I sighed.
“Because…because…I don’t know,” I truly didn’t. I didn’t know what he actually thought.
“Contrary to whatever you are thinking right now, or in general about me, I respect you, Elain,” he told me and his expression was sincere and kind. Something in his face softened at that moment.
“Do you?” I confirmed.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he raised his dark brow at me.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think most of the time, if I am being honest,” I admitted.
He looked at me, and then, shockingly whispered, “You look beautiful today, Elain.”
I gasped.
Did he just actually say this to me right now or was I hallucinating?
He smirked and then offered, “let me buy you a drink! We fought valiantly and we came out on top. As expected.”
“As expected,” I whispered.
Smiling conspiratorially, he moved closer to me and suddenly, I felt his large, warm palm on the small of my back. He never touched me before. Even when we first met, when he ambushed me at my desk, we didn’t shake hands because we were not properly introduced. I was used to him and his nearness because he often stood behind my desk or sat near me while showing me something, or when we prepared for meetings together. However, this was the very first time when he touched me and I remember feeling very warm and very secure at his side. He was so large and I knew that if anything, this is the man who’d protect me from anything. I mean, who’d even challenge him? But still, the feeling was pleasant and novel. He smelled good, his cologne clearly expensive–Armani? Tom Ford? –and I scented him like a loon, like I always did when he was near. I am not exactly sure why and what compelled me to smell him, but there was something alluring in the combination of his masculine musk and cedar.
He guided me towards the bar and out of the main dining room, his hand never leaving my back. It wasn’t just his fingertips that touched my burgundy dress–he had his whole palm planted just above the curve of my behind. It felt intimate. Possessive, in a way a boyfriend or a husband might touch his woman. But I wasn’t his. And he didn’t want me to be either.
“What would you like to drink?” he asked, leaning over the bar. With one hand, he pulled a bar stool closer and then handed his card to the bartender, opening a tab. “Whatever she wants,” he jerked his chin towards me.
“You don’t have to!” I exclaimed hurriedly. “I am not much of a drinker,”
“I am,” he winked at me. “What’s your poison, Elain? Whiskey? Tequila? Vodka? Gin?”
“An Aperol Spritz?” I blurted, even though I didn’t want one. But it seemed like a safe, cheap choice. It wasn’t a winter drink.
“She’ll have a dirty martini,” Azriel said easily, ignoring my lame order. “Gin. Two measures of Gordon’s. One measure of Gray Goose. Half a measure of Kina Lillet. Olive brine. A spritz of lemon zest and three anchovy olives.
“And I’ll have a Macallan, neat.”
“You got it,” the bartender nodded, clearly impressed by Azriel’s order. I didn’t even know half of the things he said. Also, I didn’t like anchovies, I don’t think.
“Trust me on the anchovy olives,” he said, obviously reading my mind.
“What if I wanted the Aperol Spritz?” I insisted, not liking him taking all the control away from me.
“No one wants a spritz in December in Chicago. But if you insist…should I get you one?”
I pouted.
“No.”
He smiled at me and while we were waiting for the drinks, he unexpectedly wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor, placing me on the stool.
“Wait, wha-,” he began saying, but he just smiled at me again.
The drinks were set in front of us, and I couldn’t finish my thought. Azriel picked up his tumbler and raised it, lightly clinking it with my martini glass.
“To the victors go the spoils!” he announced and then watched me take a sip of my martini.
Oh god. Even now, I think of it and I can’t forget how lovely it was. Crisp and sharp and enticing. Kind of like the man who’d ordered it.
He didn’t sit down and remained standing, still towering over me, his hazel eyes keen and penetrating.
“I want to ask you a question, Elain. And I’d like an honest answer,” he requested, taking me aback.
“Yes?”
“Why don’t you like me?”
“No! What?” I scrambled for answers “I am…I don’t,”
“I asked for you to be honest,” he cut me off and then sipped his whiskey.
“It’s not true,” I argued, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and overwhelmed. It wasn’t a fair question and he shouldn’t have asked me that. What was he expecting me to say exactly?
He didn’t wait for me to continue, but instead, said,
“Because the thing is that I like you.”
I swallowed my drink hard, stunned into silence by his admission. He didn’t seem fazed and continued,
“I think that you are brilliant. You are sharp, intelligent, highly accomplished. You are the best analyst on my team–by far. Look, I have a few reasonably good people on the team, and a few who aren't worth my time.”
“Then if you think so, why are you so harsh with me?” I asked boldly.
His brow furrowed and he shook his head, “No. I am not.”
“I think that you are,” I insisted. “You criticize me viciously. You are mean. You berate me for every little infraction,”
“I am doing my job,” he said plainly. “Which means getting the best results and the best work out of my associates. I am not going to baby you, if that’s what you are asking. And I don’t ‘berate’ you. I correct you. There is a difference, you know. In fact, I will expect even more from you.”
“Why? How much more can I give?”
Coldly, he said, “you’ll give as much as I take, until I am satisfied.”
“And when is that going to be?”
He chuckled darkly.
“Not any time soon, Elain. Not anytime soon. In fact,”
My heart dropped.
I was vaguely aware that his palm was pressing to the small of my back again. I felt his thumb stoke the few lower knobs of my spine.
“It’s not official yet,” he said at last. “But I wanted to tell you and give you a heads up.”
I swallowed the rest of my martini. I drank it too fast. It was going to my head. I was feeling hot and mellow.
Azriel snapped his finger and said to the bartender ‘another one for her’.
“Nooo,” I protested. “I am buzzed…”
“I know,” he said calmly.
“What do you want from me?” I whined, emboldened by the alcohol that I had consumed.
“You know that I am officially moving into my role on January 1st,” he stated.
I nodded. I hoped that he wouldn’t be my manager anymore.
I hated hearing ‘Elain, a word’. I hated the red Montblanc pen that he used on my reports and calculations. I hated his critiques. I didn’t want to hear him tell me how I messed up and where I went wrong. I wanted a nice boss, who’d be kind and supportive of me.
“And I have the opportunity to build my own team. And I want you, Elain.”
I got another drink handed to me. He was staring at me, his hand now on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. My shoulder was bare and his hand was hot and dry. The silvery scar tissue on his palm felt smooth and if he had calluses, I couldn’t feel them. His fingers were long and strong. His hand was very heavy.
My heart dropped.
He wanted me.
“On my team,” he added. “Under me. My...tutelage.”
I looked up at him. There was something like triumph blazing in his eyes.
His hand tightened on my shoulder.
And I knew then that I wouldn’t be escaping any time soon.
All About This Christmas
I approached her, huddling into my scarf, wanting to do this quickly and get back in my car.
Typically, I took the Blue Line downtown where the office was located, but today, I drove, spent $56 on parking, which made me sick to my stomach, but it was worth it.
She was so fluffy.
I smiled to myself.
Perfect size.
I hurried over to the seller and pointed,
“I want this,”
“One,” to my horror, utmost, undiluted horror, Azriel Singer’s voice sounded behind me.
I had to be hallucinating. This was PTSD, right? I was hearing his voice everywhere! Right? After a year of working with him, and him being the dominant man in my life, whom I saw more than I saw anyone, including my sisters, I was just hearing his voice in my head.
I couldn’t…I couldn’t turn around. It was impossible. I was definitely hearing things.
Maybe, maybe it was Cassian?!?
A little glimmer of hope lit up in my chest. Yes, it had to be Cassian. Obviously. How didn’t I guess that? Azriel would never leave work early and wouldn’t be here, buying a Christmas tree.
Cassian Wilbur Singer, Esq. was Azriel’s younger brother.
After Azriel casually handed me my indefinite sentence that promised that I would remain under his control and on his team for the foreseeable future, I had to grin and bear it. Short of quitting the company, which is something I was absolutely unwilling to do, I resigned myself to serve at Azriel’s feet for lack of a better term.
I’d learned a few things about my new boss fairly quickly. He was incredibly patient–surprising, I know, but also ruthless. But mostly, he was just demanding.
Elain, redo the projections for the 4th quarter
Elain, did you consider the new data? I sent it to you yesterday
Elain, you are using too much finance jargon in this report
Elain, walk me through your analysis
Elain, send me the numbers before 10 am
Elain, let’s walk through this together before the meeting
Elain, what are you doing for lunch? Let me know if you have time to discuss?
And on and on and on.
My sister Feyre said that I was ‘the victim of my own success’ and that I’ve made myself ‘indispensable to him’ and that he grew to rely on me too much.
My other sister Nesta was harsher in her assessment and said that ‘he uses you like a crutch’ and ‘he knows you are a pushover, so he is taking advantage of your inability to say ‘no’ to him’.
I didn’t really want to say ‘no’ to him. And maybe I was a pushover, but I just felt that it was easier to let him guide the team and be responsible for the decision-making. At work, Azriel Singer was a star, and I trusted him. As hard as he was, he was also fair. And maybe, just maybe, I liked hearing his praise, or when he hummed under his nose and smirked to himself. I knew then that he was pleased with my work. Receiving his approval was incredibly difficult, and when it came, I was going to take advantage of it and enjoy every morsel of his good will.
What did not create any good will with him was when he caught me a couple of times asking my team members for assistance, or an explanation. Especially if it related to something that he sent back or corrected on my report.
I wasn’t sure why, but for whatever reason that set him off. He wouldn’t say anything. He never confronted me, and if I hadn’t learned how to read him, I might have missed it entirely. But I did pick up on a few scoffs, the subtle changes in his expression, the annoyance that he tried to hide. What was an even better indicator of his displeasure, was how rough he became afterwards, and how harsh his critique and his demands were towards me. I knew that he wanted me to ask him for directions, and I knew that he liked to make decisions for me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it most of the time. Firstly, I liked figuring things out myself, and secondly, he was intimidating as hell.
I met Cassian Singer one morning, following an early call with a client, which was held in Azriel’s office. By the time the call ended, I was tired, hungry and cranky. While Azriel did most of the talking, I needed to speak to some of the numbers and explain two parts of the report. It wasn’t difficult, but the client was asking a lot of questions, and while Azriel was helpful and guided the conversation, I was expected to deliver my part flawlessly.
“Good job, Elain,” was all he said when I got up and unplugged my laptop.
I smiled. I pressed the laptop to my chest and left his office, heading to the break room with a pep in my step.
A very tall, very handsome, very muscular man was in the break room, laughing with the other men from my team. He was broad, his shoulders spanning nearly the width of the fridge. He had the same bronze skin tone as Azriel, the same hazel eyes and the same black hair, though his was longer. And the voice was the same. It was jarring to hear–watching another man speak in Azriel’s voice.
He looked at me, while I went to pour myself a cup of coffee. By the time I was done with the cup and tossed the creamer in the bin, when I turned around, I saw Azriel standing in the doorway, arms crossed on his wide chest. He was watching me with his typically unreadable expression. I thought that I looked good that day–I wore a dusty pink dress, a little flowy, so it didn’t hug my body too closely, and my brown suede pumps. My hair was smooth and sleek, tied in a high ponytail.
“Az, care to introduce us?” the man swaggered towards me.
Azriel pursed his lips and then simply said, “Elain Archeron, this is my brother Cassian Singer.”
“And the pleasure is all mine,” Cassian murmured and extended his huge hand to me. I hesitated for a moment, and he urged me on, saying, “come on, Ellie, I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.”
“Cass!” Azriel snapped at him, almost angrily. I wasn’t sure why. Cassian ignored him and pumped my fist in his.
“So, this is the brilliant Elain that I’ve heard some much about,” he added. “Nice to meet you, Elain. Finally I am putting a face to the reputation.”
I had a reputation? Also, brilliant?
“Cassian, you are being weird,” Azriel sneered, while he went to grab a bagel off the tray. Cassian argued,
“Why? Poor Ellie is stuck here with you bunch, the drollest and the dullest finance bros of all finance bros,”
I snorted a laugh at that and Azriel didn’t look amused, while the others booed and shouted.
“Come work for my department, Ellie,” Cassian offered. “We are rich and successful and we are all lawyers!”
“Sounds like a nightmare,” Azriel hissed through his teeth. “What are you doing here? Don’t attempt to poach my best analyst either,”
At that, Cassian snatched my cappuccino muffin from my plate and saluted me, before swallowing the muffin top all in one bite.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whistled. “My glum brother is not fond of many people, Ellie, but he is fond of you,” he winked at me and then sauntered away, devouring the rest of the muffin.
I sighed and went to get another muffin, before rushing back to my desk. As I was walking, I overheard Azriel and Cassian whispering to each other.
“I see it now,” Cassian said to him.
Azriel didn’t respond right away, but then warned him, “Back off and don’t piss on my territory.”
Cassian laughed, “Wouldn’t dream of it. Seems like you fully staked your claim.”
I didn’t know what they were talking about, but that’s how I met Cassian.
“I’ll take this one,” he said again.
I whipped around and shouted, “Cassian, that’s mine! I saw it first!!!”
And then I was frozen in place by a pair of hazel eyes.
Azriel Singer stood right in front of me, so close that I figured that he was able to put his chin on my head if he wanted to.
His expression was bland, but I could see the vein bulging and ticking in his temple. Slowly, he crossed his arms on his chest and glared at me from his height.
“Expecting Cassian, are you?” he asked slowly.
My cheeks flamed and I took a steadying breath.
Why was Azriel here???
It made no sense for him to be here. We were in Wicker Park, and surely he didn’t live anywhere near here. Not with his money and status. Surely he lived in River North? Lincoln Park? He was too young for the Gold Coast, but Wicker Park? There was no logical explanation for his presence here.
“Waiting for Cassian?” he repeated, his voice cold.
“Why are you here?!” I cried out instead.
He stepped even closer, and suddenly got in my face, all but snarling,
“I swear to god, Elain, if you are fucking my brother behind my back, I will,”
He didn’t finish his threat, because the seller stepped forward and exclaimed, “whoa, whoa, buddy! Chill!”
Then he looked at me and asked, “Miss, is he bothering you? You want me to,”
“Am I bothering you, Elain?” Azriel asked sarcastically. “Do you need to be rescued? The gentleman here is ready to spring up and fight for your honour,”
The venomous expression on his face took me aback. His vein kept bulging, though he appeared normal outwardly.
“No,” I stammered, and looked at the seller, “he is…he is okay. He is my boss…”
“Your boss?!” the man scoffed. “Maybe you should look for another job.”
Azriel shrugged, and then said calmly,
“I’ll be on my way. Let me get the tree and I’ll leave you to meet Cass.”
“No!” she snapped. “NO!”
Azriel seemed confused for a moment and looked at me quizzically.
I clarified, “it’s my tree! I found it first. You aren’t getting it.”
He huffed an incredulous snicker.
“Excuse me? I am taking the tree,” he insisted. “You can get that one,” and he waved towards a bunch of ugly trees stuck in the corner. “I am not getting another tree. Go away, Azriel,” I dared to say, tears pricking my eyes.
I know it was absurd. I know that I was acting petulant and ridiculous. But I wanted that tree. It wasn’t fair that he could just sweep in and take it. He already demanded and took too much from me. And I wanted the tree. I wasn’t going to let him have it.
“Go away?” he repeated, eyes popping open wide.
I propped my hands on my hips and resorted to a fighting stance.
“Yes, go away. You are not my boss here.”
“I am always your boss,” he argued snappily.
“No, you aren’t! I am not working right now and I am going to buy this specific tree. You can step aside and leave me alone.”
“I am not leaving, Elain. And I am getting the tree,” he pressed.
I was shaking my head.
“No. You're not my boss out there and you can’t have it. I was here first!”
Before the seller could interfere again, Azriel wrapped his massive hand over my upper arm and carefully, but firmly pulled me aside.
“Don’t sell that fucking tree to anyone,” he ordered the man, and the guy just stared, but didn’t say anything.
I’ve never heard Azriel curse before. He was always highly, scrupulously professional at work. Was it something that I unexpectedly liked? Perhaps.
Once we were out of the way, Azriel didn’t release my arm, but I felt his thumb making small circles over it through my jacket sleeve. He was very close and his crisp scent invaded my nostrils. His eyes assessed me, but they weren’t cold and disdainful right now. There was warmth in them. Amusement too. And I couldn’t think of why that was.
“I think that we need to reevaluate your attitude, Miss Archeron,” he semi-whispered in my ear. His lips were so close, they were almost touching me.
“What?” I stuttered, not sure what he meant and feeling overwhelmed by his nearness. He was too close. Like last Christmas party. Which I preferred not to recall or think about.
“What do you mean?” I finally managed to ask.
“It means that you will respect me always, at work and outside of work. At work, I am your boss and out here, that doesn’t change. Just like I will respect you always, regardless of your… imperfections.”
Imperfections? Screw him.
I tried to jerk my arm out of his grasp, but it was like an iron claw around my sleeve.
“Furthermore,” he continued, ignoring my movements, “please do remember that I am the one who makes all the decisions. You follow my guidance. Because I know what’s good for both of us.”
“No you don’t!” I argued instinctively.
“Oh no?” he challenged. “Who’s been helping you with everything at work? Guiding your career? Offering you advice? At times protecting you from mistakes and scrutiny? Yeah, me,” he snapped. “Not that you’d noticed!”
I blushed.
He wasn’t wrong.
He has been incredibly helpful and patient with me, even when he was harsh and demanding.
“Not that you’d ask me for help,” he ground out under his breath.
Defensively, I argued, “I asked you many times! All the time!”
He scoffed,
“Yeah, only when there is no one else left to ask!”
The back and forth was exhausting me.
I was tired and he still hadn’t explained what he was doing here.
“I need to get the tree and go home,” I told him at once.
His grip on me finally eased up a bit and he said thoughtfully,
“Hmmm,”
“Not hmmm,” I taunted. “Let me go. I will see you on Monday.”
“No.”
“No?” I repeated. “What do you mean, no?”
“No means that I have something else in mind,” he offered. “And I suggest that you take me up on my generous offer to you.”
I was feeling a bit hysterical and laughed, my voice dry,
“Oh, how gracious of you. And what is this offer that I cannot refuse? Pray tell!”
“I’ll let you have that tree,” he pointed at my perfect tree.
“Let me?”
“Stop interrupting me every sentence!” he didn’t look amused. “Yes, I will even help you hoist it up on the roof of your car. Then, we’ll go to your house, you will be a gracious hostess, we’ll have dinner and we’ll decorate the tree together.
“That’s the only offer you are getting. If you reject it, you aren’t getting the tree. Your choice.”
What the hell?
What. Is. The. Actual. Fuck??
He was inviting himself to my home? Or, more like, forcing himself, and ordering me to cook him dinner and decorate my tree, with him there?
“We can’t do that!” I cried out.
“Why?”
“Because…because…We can’t! You are my boss,”
“Glad to see you remembered, finally,” he snorted a chuckle.
“You can’t be at my home. People will talk!”
Not to mention that I didn’t want him there.
I didn’t want him inside my sanctuary. The only place that was actually free of him. My god. This was the worst idea in history!
“Take it or leave it,” he shrugged callously.
I attempted to dissuade him again, “Azriel, I cannot let you–it’s improper,”
“Is it? I was in your apartment last year,” he reminded me and my heart jumped in my chest. “And somehow, we managed.”
He tapped his feet on the pavement and said,
“Let’s go. I am freezing.”
“You said that I get to decide,” I tried feebly.
“I did. And you decided that I will be coming along and we’ll be decorating your tree together. Come on.”
He extended his hand to me.
I just stood there, trembling.
He flexed his long, powerful fingers in the space between us. His arm was a bridge. And somehow, I knew that if I took his hand, if I crossed the bridge, nothing would ever be the same.
#elriel#azriel and elain#elriel fanfic#Not Another Hallmark Christmas Story#dark romance fic#elain archeron#azriel#pro elriel#elain#elain x azriel#my writing
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The 'BOTW has a bad story' people really confound me because let me tell you, if it weren't for that story I wouldn't be in this fandom.
My attachment to this game comes from the fact that it was 2020 and I was freshly dealing with the worst phase of my life when I decided to put that game in. I'd never been part of the fandom before, in truth I'd avoided it for years because it felt too big anymore to pick up. I'd only bought it because it was the most popular Switch game I knew outside of Animal Crossing.
And I fucking hated it at first because I was in no way a gamer and it took me forever to get the fuck off the Plateau. But once I was out and able to explore, I started having fun. Just doing random shit. Until one day I decided fine, I'll follow the fish guy.
And all the little cutscenes and quests that followed got me into it. And it had such momentum I couldn't put it down. Before I know it I'm dodging ice blocks and doing midair archery trickshots that I NEVER would have imagined I'd be doing. After all that, you've got to do the Beast, right? That's what all this is for. So I did, and let me tell you, as a first time Zelda player and novice gamer, those puzzles were HARD, Vah Ruta was MASSIVE to me and took hours!
So when I finally solved it and knew the boss fight was next, I was ready to go to bed. It had been enough and I knew I'd get my ass kicked, maybe I'll come back soon. So I saved. And for some reason I decided, since I know it's going to kick my ass, I'm just going to take a run at it and see how bad it's gunna be, it'll be funny. And I honestly don't recall how that fight went because it was such a blur, but I remember being SHOCKED that I won. Just absolutely stunned.
I was so full of adrenaline and righteous joy. How'd this even happen, this was supposed to be so out of my range yet, the plot just pulled me up a mountain and it was awesome! And then, that beautiful music comes in, and you finally see Mipha, and she's so sweet and soft and sad, and so wishes to help you on your journey that she'll use her spirit to heal you. It's so poignant and, damnit, Mipha didn't deserve this fate, she must be avenged! If you weren't in the story before, you might be then, and if not then, then when you walk back down and see Sidon praising you and saying how he was right to believe in you, and all the Zora that doubted you are now cheering for you, and the rain is gone, the sun is out, and Zora's Domain looks absolutely gorgeous, and it dawns on you that you just saved an entire people, and you're gunna tell me you went through all of that and don't genuinely feel like a goddamn hero!?
I don't believe you.
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You are absolutely correct to point this out. Tagging @glisten-inthedark because this feels like something you'll enjoy. The whole "7 years aren't as long for a god as for a human" thing aside, this just beautifully shows how differently they view each other.
To Odysseus, Poseidon was never more than just another obstacle to getting home. A much more competent, dangerous obstacle than any other, but still just an obstacle that he had no particular or special feelings toward beyond, "I have to avoid this guy." Then he spends 7 years at Calypso's and naturally forgets all about Poseidon because he just doesn't assume that Poseidon would care about him that much either.
... But Poseidon does. And that's the beautiful irony of it all ... To Poseidon, Odysseus is so much more than just a mortal who blinded his son that one time; if the Vengeance saga proves anything, it's this. Think about it—he doesn't mention Polyphemus at all anymore in this saga. Instead, he admits straight out that he's avenging "his reputation"—a fancy way of saying, "I'm hunting you for myself and my own reasons now."
And he does. He waited for him—not because of his son but because of himself. Because he does feel something for Odysseus as a person, be it hatred, indignation, or something entirely else. Whatever it is, it's personal for him, and for him alone.
He cares so much about being the one to kill him that he waits for a decade (even if that's only akin to, like, 10 weeks or something for a god, that's still 10 weeks of camping in front of someone's house to get their attention!) I don't think anyone would shame or fault him for letting Odysseus live anymore either, like I've seen some people say, especially since it was Zeus' decree that Odysseus be released.
No, Poseidon waited for Odysseus because Poseidon wanted to wait for him. Poseidon remembered Odysseus because he was "something" to him, as opposed to Odysseus, who just straight up forgot or assumed he got bored and/or had better things to do with his immortal life (a very fair assumption, honestly.) The fact that Poseidon didn't get bored and didn't have better things to do with his life tells us so much about his character that I could write a whole essay on it ... I've covered parts of it in my Get In The Water analysis and also this lil thing, but I might write a full essay on this someday.
And that's the beautiful, poetic, almost ... tragedy of it all since it's so clearly one-sided: Odysseus feels nothing—no hatred, no attachment, not even enough to consider he might still be after him—whereas Poseidon feels ... everything? A lot, at least.
It's literally a case of "the opposite of love isn't hate (or the other way around, either work); it's indifference." Odysseus is indifferent. But what you, dear god of tides, have is a very serious case of obsession. You might want to—oh, no, he can't hear me; he's passed out on some rock shore, bleeding profusely. We can only hope that being defeated, humiliated, and confronted with his vulnerability in this manner didn't only deepen his obsession. Why do I have a bad, bad feeling about this though ...
My favorite thing in Epic that we don't talk enough about is that during the Circe and Thunder sagas, Odysseus was pretty much aware that Poseidon was after him. But in Vengeance saga, considering his reaction at Poseidon's appearance in "Get in the Water", he kinda thought that Poseidon must've forgotten and let go until that time. BUT HE DIDN'T. THE MAN WAS OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS FOR SEVEN YEARS
#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#odysseus#poseidon#epic poseidon#epic musical#epic odysseus#see this is exactly why i am so drawn to this ship in a purely one-sided way#how is it like 90% canon#odysseus x poseidon#poseidon x odysseus
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ok so this Tim's stuck in B's body
He made sure he was alone in a batcave, he knew he was alone. he didn't want to lose it, and yet, here he was. it's been too much. burying his own body. dealing with never seeing, or, at least, interacting with his friends ever again. becoming a father to his siblings, to Damian, which probably was already way too much. so he sat there. alone. going through it, because in the evening there was supposed to be a gala, and he would have to play Brucie, the role he genuinely hated.
He was alone, he didn't account for someone being there.
"Tim," Dick said softly, and it took everything from Tim to not whip around.
"He is dead, you need to accept it," he said, now grateful for Bruce's gruff voice. Hating that it sounds so deep inside of him.
"I've been around Bruce for twenty years," Dick leant on the Batcomputer table. He was in his civilian attire, "Do you really think I wouldn't notice?" there was a soft smile on his lips, and Tim felt, like he wanted to cry. He didn't.
Maybe he should keep a charade. Keep acting like he's Bruce.
"And even if I'm mistaken," he said, looking away towards the entrance to the mansion. "I"m always willing to give you a hand in case everything is too overwhelming after his death."
Tim didn't feel better, he only could go through his actions in panic, thinking what exactly set Dick off, he needed to fix it, to keep pretending he's Bruce, that's the only way.
"So if you can't deal with the whole plate, I'll help you. I'm just from Damian's teacher-parent meeting, by the way," Tim forgot, Bruce forgot, oh gosh, he forgot. "They still have my phone as their first contact," Dick huffed, like it was funny, like it wasn't a failure on Bruce's - Tim's? - part. "And I can go out as a Bat if you don't feel like it."
"You hate it though," Tim said, it wasn't something Bruce would say.
"You hate it more, baby bird," Dick said and pushed himself off the table. "If anything, I'll get ready for today's gala, I'll tell everyone you don't feel well."
Tim wanted to say something, he needed to say something, but when he turned around Dick wasn't there.
That was probably the worst time to get his hallucinations back, wasn't it.
(let's not make it that angsty and just have it as Dick actually came, but Tim dissociated for awhile, and thought Dick disappeared into the thin air)
Here's one(?) of the posts referencing this AU!
This ask focuses on the premise that Bruce and Tim switch bodies, don't tell anyone, and then Bruce dies in Tim's body forever trapping Tim in Bruce's body (while no one else knows).
This is magnificent, my friend. A beautiful addition.
I like making Tim suffer through his problems alone, but you are absolutely correct.
Out of all of the batkids, Dick *would* know Bruce best (unless it's Bruce *about* Dick). It makes perfect sense for him to notice that Bruce isn't acting like Bruce would.
There are reasons he wouldn't notice (he's busy, out of town, distracted, Tim planned for that, or Dick is grieving/spiraling), but it's more likely that Dick would notice than not.
Also, can you imagine the conversations they'd have? The debates? Is it better to let their family members know that *Tim* is inhibiting Bruce's body or to let them grieve Tim instead? Just Dick and Tim constantly fighting about what's best
[Including a very painful remark from Dick about how Tim is turning into Bruce because the younger one refuses to let anyone else know]
Anyways, this could result in Dick supporting Tim and being there for him.
On the other hand, here's some angst ideas instead:
Tim starts hallucinating more to deal with his loss of identity meaning that Dick was just a hallucination (and soon Tim starts seeing both himself and Bruce haunting him)
Dick knows that whoever is wearing his dad's face *isn't* Bruce, but he doesn't realize it's Tim (especially because Tim is "dead" and Bruce is "missing").
When Bruce dies in Tim's body, Bruce's soul returns to his body but Tim stays stuck in there as well :D
When Tim's body dies, Bruce's body starts to slowly deteriorate without Bruce's soul
I think that's enough angst for now :)
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That's How He Knows He's Yours (A Lokius Fic)
Okayyyy I would have sworn up and down that I had already posted this fic ??? but I did a bunch of different search attempts and I couldn't find it so I guess I didn't
The premise is basically Loki and Mobius are going to a party and Mobius is helping him with his hair, but Mobius has been studying up on the meanings of different Jotun hairstyles and accidentally-on-purpose picks the one that means "I'm taken." Ofc there's a bit of cultural headcanon involved. It's super fluffy w a little bit of flirtatiousness, so read on and enjoy!
The TVA was having a party.
That wasn’t really the important thing, but it was interesting. Mobius couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a party—but they needed to keep their spirits up after finding out that their entire lives were, in fact, lies, so a party it was. Every sector was having its own, because the TVA was too immense for all of the employees to have fit in a single room if they’d been threatened with death to do it.
Well, anyway, the important thing was that Mobius wasn’t going alone. He’d convinced Loki that it would be more fun to go together than to go separately, or not to go at all.
The other important thing was that Mobius had offered to braid Loki’s hair, which had grown considerably longer than it had been the first time they’d met, and that Loki had taken him up on it.
He’d spent hours studying both Jotun and Aesir braiding styles—not just the actual construction, but also the meaning behind them. In the end he’d picked the Jotun style that signaled “I’m taken” because it was beautiful, and because he was pretty sure Loki didn’t know enough about his own culture to know what it meant himself, so Mobius could convince himself it wasn’t that much of a presumption.
“I’m not so sure about this suit,” Loki said, sitting patiently as Mobius brushed his hair before plaiting it. “The gold stripes are a bit much, don’t you think?”
“What happened to the guy who used to strut around wearing gold armor and a cape?” Mobius teased, beginning the first braid. Left under the middle, right under the middle, he muttered under his breath.
“I’ve been wearing your boring TVA clothes for months,” Loki said, holding out one arm to watch the threads glitter. “The drab must’ve rubbed off on me.”
Mobius rolled his eyes. The truth was, he was outside his own comfort zone in a fancy suit. His didn’t have metallic pin-striping on it like Loki’s did (because it was a bit much) but it was a much sharper cut and a much more dashing style than he was used to wearing. He’d been just an analyst in a plain brown suit for centuries, and now here he was all dressed up like he thought he was Prince Charming or something.
He tried to focus more on the different strands of dark hair in his hands than on the way his fingertips brushed against Loki’s temples as he gathered new locks to add to the braids.
He failed.
As he began to pin the braids up using glittering golden hair pins, he tried to focus more on not stabbing Loki’s scalp than on the brush of his hands against the nape of Loki’s neck.
He failed.
Loki was built like a prince, Mobius sometimes caught himself thinking. It didn’t matter if it was princedom of Asgard or of Jotunheim. There was an elegance in the set of his shoulders, in the movements of his hands as he wielded his magic, and a determination in the curve of his back and the way he stepped, that was utterly regal. Gold, like the simple rings he was wearing that night and the hair pins Mobius had found for him and the single slim chain around his neck, seemed to have been built into the cosmos for no reason other than to decorate Loki's trim form.
That was waxing poetic. Mobius didn’t do that often—only for Loki and Jet Skis. What could he say, they were both remarkable singularities in the universe.
He finished setting the last braid into place, nestled among several others like a crown across the top of Loki’s head. “All done, puss,” he said, patting Loki on the shoulder.
Loki’s head turned slightly to the side at the use of the nickname, and Mobius could just see a smile tugging at the corner of his mauve-tinted lips. “Do I dare look?” he asked.
“I didn’t mess it up that bad,” Mobius said. Loki chuckled and got up from the floor in front of Mobius’s couch to go check his reflection in the mirror on the other side of the room.
Mobius could see the reflected green eyes widening as Loki caught sight of himself. For some reason Mobius’s heart was in his throat.
“I didn’t know you knew how to do this,” Loki said.
“What, braids?” Mobius managed to speak past his racing pulse. “It’s not that hard.” It was, actually, quite difficult to his untrained hands, but learning it for Loki had made it seem easier.
“No. The Jotun style.”
That quick pulse stopped altogether. Mobius sat there, stock still, feeling very much like he was going to throw up if Loki didn’t break the sudden silence.
He turned from the mirror to look Mobius in the eyes properly. He was smiling, his eyes glittering beneath the faint liner he’d applied earlier that evening and a light dusting of shimmery grey eyeshadow. “Seems the pussycat has caught himself a guilty little mouse,” he said, his voice sultry and honey-smooth, dripping into Mobius’s soul. “You didn’t realize I knew what these braids meant.” It was a statement, not a question. There wasn’t a hint of doubt on his face.
“You caught me,” Mobius said. He was impressed with himself for being able to get any words out at all with Loki’s gaze focused on him like that.
“I’m taken, am I?”
Now Mobius found himself entirely unable to speak. What could he say, after all, other than we’ve been spending a lot of time together and you don’t mind when I call you ‘puss’ and I catch you staring at me sometimes in a way nobody ever has? It seemed stupid even in his brain. None of it meant he and Loki were…whatever he’d been subconsciously thinking they could be when he’d picked the style.
Loki walked back across the room, a new sway in his hips that Mobius was positive hadn’t been there before, and sat down on the couch to lean directly into Mobius’s personal space. For a long moment, far too long, far too breathless, he simply studied Mobius’s face, as though he could see everything single thought that had ever crossed his mind.
“We’ll see about that when we get back from the party,” he said finally, gaze flicking briefly down to Mobius’s lips. “Maybe you’re the one who’s going to be…taken.”
He crossed into that last bit of personal space and pressed their lips together, his touch surprisingly light, stunningly tender, as one arm came up to drape across Mobius’s shoulders and draw him even closer.
“Don’t be so sure of yourself, puss.” Mobius finally found his tongue again and flirted back, laying a hand on Loki’s thigh. “You’re the one with the fancy hairstyle to prove it.”
As Loki laughed, Mobius captured his lips in another kiss, just as soft as before but oh-so-many leagues more passionate, and he thanked his lucky stars he’d been fool enough to pick a Jotun way to call Loki his.
#lokius#loki#mobius#mobius m mobius#loki series#loki show#mcu loki#headcanon#fic#martianbugsbunny writes fic
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