#not in the sense of me getting over it or moving on
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𖹭 cw: suggestive, edgy, mdni
part one | two ‹soon›
You can't say you weren't warned about your big brother's friend sukuna, but nothing could have truly prepared you for him.
"Funny looking how?" You ask, arching an eyebrow.
"Just go to your room while he's here," your brother Toji urges. "Don't need you feeding his ego, goddamnit."
"He's funny looking and somehow my presence will feed his ego?" You deadpan, with zero inclination to forfeit your comfy spot on the couch. "Make it make sense, Toji. Or better yet, fuck off so I can finish this cover letter," you gesture at the open laptop sitting on your thighs. "Faster I can get out of this shithole, the better," you grumble.
Although, your brother's place is far from a shithole, in truth. You know better than to ask how he affords it doing nothing but fucking around with the sinister assortment of thugs he calls friends. In turn, he doesn't ask you about the unfortunate circumstances that landed you in one of his spare rooms... again.
Toji groans. "Yeah he gets off on scaring people. Especially girls. Especially hot girls. And, I suspect, especially girls who are related to me."
"Gross," you say, directing you attention back to the screen. "I'm not scared of your asshole friend and I'm not moving."
Toji opens his mouth to protest further, but too late. There is a loud knock on the door followed by it crashing open and thunderous footsteps coming down the hall.
Despite more than a little curiosity regarding your brother's funny looking friend, you manage to keep your eyes on your work.
Toji is grumbling some weak attempt to direct the visitor toward the "stuff" in the garage when a shadow falls over you. Still, you continue typing.
"Who's this?" A deep voice growls. "Not gonna introduce me?"
"Just my little sister. Leave her alone, Sukuna. She's a bitch anyway."
"Fuck you, Toji. And a preemptive fuck you to you, too, whoever you a- hey, ow!" You exclaim as the newcomer slams the laptop closed on your fingers. "What the h-" the exclamation dies on your lips when you finally raise your eyes to see the largest man you have ever seen looming over you.
He is a lot to take in. You silently curse Toji for not warning you properly. "Kind of funny looking" does not even begin to describe the thing standing before you. Four crimson eyes stare back at you, two of which are set in a twisted mass of keloid scar tissue that takes up most of one side of his tattoed face. Eyes aren't the only anatomical feature he has extra of, you notice. Two sets of muscular arms protrude from the cut off sleeves of his t-shirt.
It takes a lot to render you speechless, but the sight of him does the trick. Although, you can't help but think that the smirking bastard somehow makes the odd look work for him. Yeah. 'Circus sideshow level freak but kinda hot' would've been a better descriptor. Although you manage to hold the man's gaze, you're sure your eyes are as wide as saucers. To your horror, you feel heat creeping up your neck as your lip twitches in search of something - anything - to say that might lessen the humiliation you feel. And Toji was right, this jerk is eating it up.
"Toj said you were ugly, but jesus..." you say, when you finally regain your composure.
Sukuna laughs, flashing a set of pointed canines before he abruptly turns to follow your brother towards the garage.
"I like her," he says, hooking a thumb over his shoulder in your general direction, which, for some reason, makes your heart beat a little too hard.
"No, man." Toji groans. "Just no."
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk angst#jjk fanfic#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#sukuna angst#sukuna fluff#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you
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omg post prison Spencer and concussed!shy girl….I would go feral I fear
“I’m gonna be sick again,” you whine, covering your eyes with both of your hands. The nausea roils and the pain in your head reaches a new crescendo. You moan without thinking about it, worse when someone grabs a hold of you from behind.
“Don’t bend!” he says, not shouting but not happy with you either. “You aren’t going to be sick again if you stay sat up. I know it hurts, but you’re making it worse.”
Spencer’s strict voice isn’t one you’re used to. An embarrassed flush rushes over you, quick to cry ‘cos you’ve wanted to for hours.
“Sorry,” you mumble tearily, slouching back into your seat with a wince.
“Oh, angel, please don’t cry again.”
“I’m not.”
“I’m not angry with you, I just need you to listen, because being sick like this isn’t good for you, and you’re gonna feel sick again if you bend over. It’s your head, angel. It’s the inertia.”
You shuffle across the couch to flop against his chest. It’s a desperate move; if he doesn’t hug you, you’re going to start crying for sure, so you’re begging him to hold you without having the courage to say it out loud. “Sorry,” you say.
“It’s okay.” Hands wrap around you immediately. “Don’t be sorry. Just stay like this for a bit, until the nausea stops. Please.”
You’d love to stay there. You can smell the black coconut soap he uses on his skin, rubbing your nose into his neck and taking obvious breaths.
Spencer pats your back, saying, “Good, take a breather.” He sounds surprised, but when you glance up at him he isn’t panicking or moving. He’s closed his eyes. His hand is on the small of your back.
You hit your head so hard the very first thing that happened was the wave of vomiting. It just… didn’t end. And for a while all you could think about was nothing, just being sick and crying and a hand on your back, eventually traded for colder ones, bright white lights and strangers asking how you were feeling. You couldn’t not defer to Spencer, not really sure if he was Spencer in a permanent sense but aware intrinsically that he was to be trusted to answer for you.
Your brain is shaken, then stirred.
“If I give you a pill, do you think you can keep it down? It’s okay if you can’t. Honest answer,” Spencer murmurs.
“I don’t know.”
“An anti nausea pill you need to swallow isn’t exactly mankind’s best invention.” He cradles the nape of your neck, then, sounding more on your side than anyone ever has. “I wish I could fix it.”
“You should’ve put your brain to work for science,” you say agreeably, “you can fix anything. Big pharma are lucky you chose to catch the bad guys instead.”
“I meant your concussion.” You can barely hear him, and at the same time, it’s like he’s speaking into your marrow.
“You did fix that,” you say, tipping your head back to see him. “You took me to the doctor.”
He smiles. “Yeah, I did, but you’re still sick and hurting.”
It’s not that bad in Spencer’s arms. You had dreams like this, daydreams and sleeping, where he’d wrap you up and comfort you after some hurt, but you’re struggling to remember what made it feel as painful as it did at the time. Spencer felt far away. Now he’s right here. You curl your arm behind his neck to be squished together, tight tight tight. Spencer actually groans.
“Sorry,” you say.
“No, m’not in pain. I can’t remember the last time I got to hold you like this for so long.”
“I don’t know why.”
“I do, and it’s okay. I know why you get freaked out. I’ll never rush you. I don’t mind. But I feel guilty ‘cos I’m enjoying this and you’re in pain.”
It’s a dull throb in the skull. You can barely feel it.
“Sorry,” he mumbles.
“I’m confused.”
“That’s a common theme tonight.”
“You feel guilty ‘cos I’m hugging you?”
He covers your eyes with his hand. You laugh at first, but it’s oddly nice. Warm, dark. The throbbing pain ebbs a bit.
Spencer can feel you relaxing against him. He’s all warmth and smell and sound under your ear. Exhaling, humming, the sound imbued with a fondness you don’t understand. His chest is solid under you, his hair begging to be touched where it flirts with his shoulders, the slopes and lines of him a tactile wonderland for your greedy hands: you want to feel everything. You haven’t the faintest clue as to why you weren’t allowing yourself the privilege before.
“I just need you to get better fast,” he says, breathless. “That’s all.”
“I am trying my best.”
Spencer rubs a thumb over one of your eyebrows, start to end. “And you’re so, so good at it,” he says.
You aren’t concussed enough to miss the lightly mocking coo of it. But you don’t care. Your nose drags up the line of his neck clumsily, in what you hope says tease me more, but more likely says concussive brain injury, second degree.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic
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★ matt loves talking you through it ★
“there’s my good girl.”
matt’s sweet voice filled the air in his bedroom as he stared down at you from where he was propped on his elbow next to you, eyes locked on your face while his fingers moved inside you.
you were fully naked on his bed, legs spread wide for him to have easy access to your drooling pussy. he loved the way you surrendered your body to him, letting him have full access to you whenever he wanted, knowing he’d do everything he could just to see your pretty face twisted up in pleasure.
matt’s two middle fingers slid in and out of you languidly as to drag out the feeling as opposed to rushing it and getting you off as quickly as possible. matt liked to take his time, liked to listen to you for as long as you’d let him until you got too antsy and were begging him to make you cum.
“does it feel good?” he asked you in almost a coo, smiling when your head nodded quickly. your eyes were clenched shut and your hands gripped at the sheets beneath you, the only sound leaving your lips being a trail of whimpers with every exhale. “use your words, baby. you don’t want me to stop, do you?”
“don’t stop,” you rasp out instantly, reaching one of your hands up to grab onto his shirt. you turn your head to face him and open your eyes as much as you can, locking onto his bright blue ones that were already on you. “please don’t stop, feels so good.”
“hmm, I dunno, i’m not convinced,” matt hums, slowing the movement of his fingers. “no!” you cry, grinding your hips down onto the digits buried deep inside you. “please, daddy, need to cum.”
“that’s better,” matt grins at your desperation, feeling his stomach coil at the way your pretty voice begged him to continue. the sound of you pleading for him to do absolutely anything was something he could listen to forever.
he picked up the pace of his fingers again, drinking in the way your moans picked back up. “you’re doing so well, baby, sound so pretty.” matt lets his gaze wander to where your bodies connect, listening to the sound of your pussy squelching every time his fingers drew in and out of you.
“fuuuck,” he groans hungrily. “she’s so wet for me, baby. you love my fingers inside of you this much?”
your eyelids have fluttered shut again, unable to stay open as your tummy started to tighten and your toes began to curl. “come on, angel, you know better. answer me.” matt’s voice makes you groan, the deep tone he adopts sending a shiver down your spine.
“y-yes, I love your fingers!” you cry out, back arching as his thumb moved to rub on your clit, sliding around the nub in circles easily from how soaked you were. “love a-anything you give me, daddy, thank you.”
“good girl,” matt croons. “you wanna cum for me, baby? you’re so close, pretty girl, can feel you squeezin’ my fingers so tight. all y’gotta do is ask and i’ll get you there.”
you let out a loud string of whines as you nodded your head again, knowing he wanted to hear you speak but staying quiet since you loved the way he demanded it from you.
matt fully removed his fingers from you and brought his hand up to your face, gripping your jaw and forcing you to look at him. your eyes cracked open once more to see him staring down at you expectantly, knowing you knew better.
his fingers spread your wetness on your jaw and chin as he gripped onto you tightly, fingers so close you could smell the scent of pure arousal filling your senses. “please make me cum,” you whimpered out, parting your lips slightly as his thumb dragged over them. “please, daddy, i’ve been so good.”
matt grins at your request and slips his thumb into your mouth for a moment before moving his hand back between your legs, dragging the pads of his fingers over your clit gently. “always gotta give my girl what she wants, hm?”
after he speaks, he slips his fingers back inside you and fucks them in and out at a pace faster than before, ripping loud moans out of your parted, pouty lips, your back arching off of the bed.
“go ahead, baby, I got you. wanna feel you cum around my fingers. that’s my pretty girl, let go for me, yeah? there you go.” matt’s voice spoke softly in your ear as his words tipped you over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you intensely, legs slamming shut around matt’s wrist.
“fuck!” you shriek, body trembling from the climax that wracked through you, his fingers inside you still coaxing out the remnants.
matt’s face ducked down to press gentle kisses into your jaw as you tried to catch your breath, chest rising and falling quickly. “good job,” he praises quietly, sliding his fingers out of you so he could drag his hand up your stomach, once again spreading your fluids on your skin. “love making you cum like that, watching you fall apart from my fingers. so fucking pretty.”
you let out a small sigh mixed with a whine at his words, turning your face to meet his lips with your own. he kisses you back sweetly, pulling away after a few seconds to let you keep catching your breath.
“thanks, daddy,” you say in a teasing voice and matt can’t help but laugh, though he shakes his head and pushes himself down the bed slowly. “gonna eat you out til you’re crying now, okay?”
you were never one to refuse.
dedicated to @strnilolover
#ave’s library 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fic#matt x y/n#matt x you#matt x reader#sturniolo x you#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#nicolas sturniolo
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CW: soap x reader, brief mentions of past bullying, religious soap, pushy soap - dividers @/cafekitsune
The mortifying case of Soap having been one of your childhood bullies.
You spot him for the first time in years when he tugs open the door to the corner store just down the street from your parent's house—blissfully unaware of your presence as you duck away behind an aisle in hopes he won't spot you.
Despite being years older, its impossible not to recognize his face.
Last time you checked he had fucked off into the military. Why was he back in town at the same time you were? He never had been before.
Grabbing the last thing your mom needed, you wait until he's preoccupied at the fridge to sneak over to the till, ignoring the odd look from the cashier—of course John's grabbing the same old drink he used to make you steal for him. You can still remember the taunting bark of his laughter when you would sniffle and sob after delivering the beverage, absolutely sure you were going to spend the night in a jail cell if they caught you.
Bastard.
Placing the change on the counter you nod and hastily take your leave, about ready to cry tears of joy once you've made it out the shop door.
It's hard to believe he still has that much of a grip on your psyche all these years later.
Heavy breath billows from your lips as you take the crumbling road back to your parent's place, plastic bag smacking against your hip with each step—always the errand runner around here.
Even if the entire world shifted on its axis, you'd still wager that this town would manage to stay as is.
Three more days until you could go home—your real home; the spot on earth you had carved out for yourself, miles away from this unfathomably deep pit. Your scratchy childhood sheets give you a new found sense of appreciation for the set you had bought for yourself shortly after moving out; soft and well-loved atop your real bed, awaiting your return.
A large hand clamps down on your shoulder.
"Christ! Almost missed ye!" John coughs out, panting from his mad dash to catch up to you.
"Me?" you sputter out, spinning towards the towering man as you calm your racing heart.
The new angle gives you a clear look at the angry scar healing on the side of his head.
He beams, pupils a little out of sorts as he drags you in under a thick bicep. His scent is distinctly more man than you recall and his arms remind you of the sturdy branches belonging to a tree; limbs bigger than the ones you remember reaching for you when he used to chase you around the woods—you had thought them impossibly large then... what were they feeding him in the military?
"O'course! Who else but ye? That f'yer Mum?" he asks, grabbing your bag and taking a brief, distracted peek.
You don't get a chance to reply as switches his attention, nudging his nose into the top of your head to practically inhale your hair. he rumbles happily. "Thought I'd ne'er see ye' again."
you forcefully dig your heels into the gravel and wiggle out of his grip.
"Why would you want to see me? Don't you hate me?" you spit, frowning as you snatch your bag back.
You watch confusion eat away at him for a second before his thin lips press into a frown that mirrors your own, dark lashes trembling a bit as he glares a hole through you.
"Hate ye? Ye think ah hate ye?"
You weren't going to do this—not with the boy that had gleefully isolated you from everyone in your age range during the most important social years of your early life.
"Yer daft!" he suddenly laughs, slipping back into his jovial grin. "-Gave me a fright there for a second!" he pulls you back into him with embarrassing ease and begins to walk again, knuckles grinding into your head before he grabs the bag from you, a satisfied chuckle leaving his lips. "Cannae believe ye thought ah hated ye—Had the biggest crush oan ye,"
No.
"-Thought ah was makin' it obvious!"
No—not this.
"Ah was a jealous wee git, detested ye hangin' out with yer pals. Likely made a right fool o'maself." he rubs at your arm with his large, bear-like palm and sighs contentedly. "No matter, Ah'm no a teenager anymore. How long ye in town for?"
you tug your gaze away from the tight-fitting grey hoodie straining pathetically over his muscles, letting it land on your shoes. he notices your reluctance and laughs, giving you a squeeze
"-God gave me a second chance, ahm no lettin' ye slip away—Full steam oan till we’re wed this time, alright?"
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glorious evol-ultion!
✶ L&DS x gn! reader
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word count ✺ 2.9K
summary ✺ you discover you can use your evol to make your own strap-on, & it lets you feel everything.
warning ✺ minors DNI! pegging, top! reader, bottom! LIs, misuse of evol lol, reader is gender neutral & afab. individual warnings for each blurb. based on this post. reblogs & comments are very appreciated <3 happy belated valentine’s day
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Xavier — cockwarming, bratty! Xavier, dom! reader, degradation, pet names (my moon, bunny), maybe hints at somnophilia, Xavier is so disobedient but he’s cute while doing it so…
You rest your head on Xavier's shoulder, nipping kisses into his skin. His skin is flushed all the way down his back and across his neck. You peer over at his unnaturally quiet form. You bite down on his skin harder, fishing for a reaction.
“What's on your mind, bunny?”
Finally, you get to him. His breath comes out ragged, and he thrusts imperceptibly backwards. You wouldn't have noticed if your focus wasn’t completely on him. You reach down, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him flush against you. He tries to grind against your strap again, but you're ready for his bratty behavior this time. You hold his hips still against your own, denying him the relief you know he’s craving. You’ve denied him over and over again, and you’ll keep denying him until he learns his lesson.
He lets out a long, low moan, tipping his head backwards. He peeks over at you with desperate eyes.
“My moon, please, please, please fuck me. Need you…hng– so bad.” His voice is sweet and patient, but you know it’s just a cover. You pull him closer, which makes your strap fit deeper in him.
You grit your teeth as you feel him clench desperately around you. Or, technically around your evol. But your evol is so strongly connected to your own senses that the energy you’ve poured into your phantom dick feels so real.
You drag your teeth over the soft cartilage of his ear. “Don't act so innocent now, Xavier. You were a fucking brat all day. What makes you think I'll give you what you want?”
He groans in frustration. His hand shoots out to wrap around his throbbing, aching dick, not caring about the consequences. It takes you a split second to realize, and when you do, you slap his hand away.
You tut, jerking his chin so that he has to look back at you. “Such an impatient fucking brat. That’s why I need to train you, bunny.”
He cries out desperately at the lack of attention to his cock and his prostate. He pleads, too far gone to care about how much he’s submitting to you. “Please, baby. I know you need it too.”
You squish his cheeks, watching as he pouts into your touch. “Do I? I can control myself, unlike you. You’re just a dumb bunny, desperate to get off without a care in the world. You get too desperate when you fuck a hole, or when you’re getting fucking. I need to teach you, or you’ll be too horny to think straight.”
Xavier cries out again, but he doesn’t make a move to get you to stimulate his prostate, so you reward him with a sweet kiss. He tries to deepen it, but you pull away with a smile. You snuggle into him, taking a deep breath into his hair. You run your hand back down his chest, resting it gently over his waist.
“Come on, Xav. If you’re a good boy and sleep like this, I’ll fuck you when we wake up, okay?”
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Sylus — belly bulge, missionary, service/sub top! reader, creampie, overstimulation, hints at multiple rounds, sylus is a size queen, little bit of dacryphilia, praise (r receiving), sylus talks you through fucking him
It’s hard to breathe with Sylus’s tight hole wrapped so beautifully around your strap. You get it now, why he gets so lost in pleasure when he fucks you. And now that you’re fucking him, you never want to stop. You feel like some kind of uncontrollable beast. Your kisses against his lips are spit-slicked and downright hungry. Your thrusts are fast and mean. Nothing on this Earth can pull either of you away from each other.
Sylus, to his credit, takes your pace like he was made for it. He’s laying with his back arching off the mattress, and his legs around your waist keep your strap deep inside him. Thank god for your dedicated hunter training, otherwise you wouldn't be able to hold yourself up above him this long.
You feel like a desperate mess. Even your evol is out of control. It leaks essence against his hole, making your strokes wet and easy. You wonder if you can fuck him hard enough to draw an actual orgasm out of your evol strap. The thought makes you moan, and you fuck him harder and deeper, deserate to see yourself leaking out of him.
The pleasure is so overwhelming that you blink in surprise when his large hand comes up to brush your cheek, drying your tears. You hadn’t even realized that you were crying.
Sylus gasps at a particularly deep thrust. “So good, sweetheart. You’re fucking me so good. Can feel you in my throat.” His words slur together because of the pleasure, and you take it as a motivator to keep going.
You squeeze your eyes shut. “Fuck. Don’t say that. I won’t be able to hold on much longer.”
He grins. His next words are slow and tantalizing. “Who said you had to hold yourself back? Give it to me, sweetheart. I can take it.”
His words and his roaming touch send you spiraling. His legs hold you against him so tight that you can barely pull back, but you make up for it with how deep your thrusts are. You just want to fill him up as much as you can.
Sylus throws his head back against the pillow suddenly, and his hands claw desperately at your biceps. You wish you had your phone, so that you can record his loud, whorish moans. You stare down where you're being sucked into his desperate hole, and that's when you notice what made him lose his composure.
Your strap is girthier than it had been moments ago. And if you focus, you can feel how much deeper it's reaching. Your innate desire to fill him up has made you a perfect fit for him.
You stare down at his stomach, mesmerized. As you continue fucking him, your hand reaches out shakily to press your hand against the bulge that has formed from your enlarged evol cock. You keep pressing, even as Sylus convulses around you. He releases all over his own chest, and you fuck him through his orgasm.
Your eyes roll back as you feel your evol spill into him, hot and thick.
You gasp, trying to catch your breath from all the energy you'd exerted. When you come down from your high, you stare with wet, pleading eyes at Sylus, who looks dazed. You pat the bulge in his stomach lovingly, making him twitch at the overstimulation.
“Sy, can you give me just one more? Please, I promise this will be the last one.”
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Zayne — cowgirl, zayne is on top and in control, reader is desperate and drunk on zayne’s hole, finger sucking, oral mention (r receiving), zayne bounces on it like a professional
You thrust your hips upwards on instinct. You know you’ve made a mistake the moment you do, but you can’t help yourself. You curl your fingers into the duvet to control yourself better. It takes a few careful breaths to remember the instructions that your boyfriend had given you.
It takes everything in you not to thrust your strap deeper into Zayne’s hole. How can anyone blame you, with the sight before you? Zayne is just sitting so prettily on your lap. His thick thighs press against your hips on either side, and his poor, neglected cock rests on your stomach. It spurts pre cum every now and then, but otherwise, Zayne is the epitome of control.
He stares down at you, and you can practically feel the scolding at the tip of his tongue. He moves to lift off your strap, and you reach your hands out to hold his hips down, keeping him in place.
You babble desperately, hoping you can convince your boyfriend to forgive you. “‘M sorry, Zayne. Didn’t mean to be bad. You just feel so good. Please, I wanna make you feel good!”
He tuts disapprovingly. His hands caress your skin gently, trailing up your hips and waist. Your eyes flutter shut as he brushes his thumb over your bottom lip, his other fingers pressing against your cheek. You take his thumb into your mouth like you know he wants. You know your eyes are wide and wet and dumb as you stare up at him desperately, silently begging for more. He presses his thumb against your tongue, watching you drool all over the digit.
“Are you going to be good and let me use you, my love?” His voice is calm and grounding, and it brings you back to him.
During any other circumstance, Zayne would loathe to use you for his own pleasure. He has spent many, many evenings unwinding with his face buried between your legs. But today is different. You want…no, you need this. You’re still not used to your evol-powered strap, but that's okay. That’s why Zayne is here, to help you think with your head instead of with the energy coursing between your legs.
You nod, hoping he can see how badly you need him to use you right now. And because it's Zayne and he always knows what you need, he lifts off your dick slowly before sinking back down.
You gnaw on his thumb as he finds a rhythm, watching his face pinch in pleasure as he bounces on your strap. His heavy-lidded eyes peel open so that he can look down at you. You whine around his finger, pleading. For what you’re not entirely sure. Zayne pulls his thumb out of your mouth with a soft ‘pop’.
Before you can complain, he leans down, arching his chest into yours and capturing your lips against his in a sweet, soothing kiss.
He pulls away slightly so that he can stare into your eyes, but a string of saliva keeps him connected to you. His smile is gentle.
“So good for me, my love. Do you think you can cum inside me like this?”
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Rafayel — backshots, rafayel is a good boy i promise, he’s also cockdrunk, marking & slapping (m receiving), creampie, mention of a threesome with a certain someone….., rafayel is glued to your strap 24/7
“You didn’t answer my question, Rafayel.”
Poor Rafayel doesn’t answer. How can he, with the way you’re pounding into him? The grip you have on his waist is intoxicating. With each thrust, you dig your nails into his skin, knowing it will leave crescent-shaped marks later.
It will just add to the other marks you’ve painted across his body. You’re no artist of his talent, but there’s something about the way that you can use his body like your own private canvas that makes you want to leave as many marks as you can.
Rafayel still doesn’t answer you, or even acknowledge you at all. He’s too busy drooling over the covers and moaning out incomprehensible praises. His arch is deep as he presses back against your mean pace, and you’re certain he’s too cockdrunk to realize that you’re even speaking.
You land a sharp slap against his round ass, which is already red with the impression of your palm. He cries out at the impact, so you caress him gently in apology, watching it jiggle with every slam of your hips against his.
You sing-song his name mockingly, “Raf-a-yel. Is my good boy still with me? Or is he too dumb to answer?”
He whimpers in response. “No, ah! I-I’m here! ‘M your good boy, I promise.”
You reward him with another deep thrust. “So answer me, where do you want me to cum on you?”
You and Rafayel have been experimenting with your evol, and you’ve made the wonderful discovery that your dick can cum at your will. You’ve been testing the evol strap in as many ways that you can, in every location and every position that comes to mind. And Rafayel is being so good, helping you discover your favorite ways to fuck him. So far, full nelson has made you cum the most, but something about doggy is making you feral. Something about seeing Rafayel so desperate, so pliant, so vulnerable to your touch…it’s exhilarating.
Rafayel seems to agree, if the way his cock leaks onto the bed is any indication. He would do anything you asked him to, in this state of mind. You don’t know what to do with that kind of power over him.
“I-inside, please?”
You reach down, stroking his neglected cock mercifully. He fucks himself back against your cock, matching the rhythm of your hips and strokes.
“Please,” he gasps out. “I’m so close!”
You smile down at his arching back. “Yeah? Gonna cum for me? Come on, I want to see you fall apart on my cock.”
His arch gets deeper the harder you pound into him. Your rhythm is so off now, it's a joke. He can’t match your thrusts anymore, so he just drops his upper body against the bed and lets you have your way with him. His whines get so loud and needy, and it encourages you to push you both over the edge, until your evol fills deep inside of him.
Rafayel’s hands scramble over his back, searching for your’s blindly. You soften, intertwining your fingers with his as he comes down from his high. He flops onto his back, legs all jelly-like. You lay beside him, massaging his legs comfortingly.
“I have an idea for next time. You know that friend you made in the N109 Zone? What if we—”
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Caleb — sub! caleb, mean! reader, oral sex (r receiving), boot humping, make up sex?, degradation, dacryphilia, reader & caleb match each other’s freaks, little bit of angst, little bit of s&m, caleb straight up worships reader
“I’m sorry.”
You deliver another slap to his face. There’s no strength behind it, but you need Caleb to know how upset he’s made you. You could never bring yourself to actually hurt him. But he left you, and you’re so angry.
Your voice is hoarse as you say, “I thought you were dead. You– you let me think you were dead. And now that I have you back, you think you can leave?”
He opens his mouth to explain again that he needs to go to Skyhaven for whatever stupid reason, but you don’t want to hear it. You grab his chin and force him to look up at you. You can only imagine how you look—tears of anger and grief streaming down your cheeks with your evol strap fisted in your other hand.
You stare down at him coldly, though your heart twinges at the tears falling down his own cheeks. You drag the leaking tip of your dick against his pouting lips, smearing your essence against them. Your evol mixes with his salty tears.
“How about you make it up to me?” You ask coyly. Truth be told, you’re not all that mad at him. You’re grateful that he’s alive. But if he’s offering himself to you like this, if he’s on his knees begging for your forgiveness, you’ll take, and take, and take.
You press your tip against his lips messily, watching him lick it gently. You know he doesn’t mean to tease you with his kitten licks, but you’re impatient. Your brows pinch in pleasure as you force him to take you deeper into his mouth. His cheeks hollow, and he grabs your hips for stability as he slides your dick in and out of his mouth.
He pops off, letting your strap slap against his face gently. He nuzzles his face against it, staring up at you like nothing else exists but you and him. “You have the power to command me.”
You stare down at him. His eyes are large and desperate, and he looks up at you like you’re a divine being for him to worship. Your hand digs into his hair, tugging on it just because you can.
His voice is low and pleading as he whispers, “Use me. Use me, because I am yours. I will always crawl back to you. They can’t keep me away from you.”
His promise makes you smile. Because that's what his words are—a promise that he will never leave you again.
You have to reward his loyalty. You press the sole of your boot against his aching cock. You can feel how hard he is, even over his pants. When he lifts his hips, grinding up against your boot, you give him more. You’ll always give him what he wants.
As he finds relief in grinding and humping your leg, you press your strap back against his eager lips. Your fingers dig into the back of his head, and you fuck his mouth fast and hard. More than anything, you need to see your cum all over his face. To claim him.
You make your own promise to him, “If you ever try to leave me again, I will lock you up, and I’ll make sure no one takes you away from me.”
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#love and deepspace smut#xavier x reader#xavier x mc#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#zayne x reader#zayne x mc#rafayel x reader#rafayel x mc#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#lads smut#xavier smut#sylus smut#zayne smut#rafayel smut#caleb smut#mywriting#lads xavier#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads caleb#l&ds fanfic#lads x reader#love and deepspace fanfic#lads fanfic#love and deepspace#l&ds
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All Too Well
Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Your tension with Joel comes to a head as you make a confession that will change your relationship with him forever.
Warnings: Smut 18+ Langauge, oral (F receiving) , one thigh slap, p in v, Joel being super into boobs
Word Count: 3.5k
Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist
July 2024
Joel stands a mere five feet from you. His chest heaves a bit, like he's dashed out of the bar to catch you. His hands rest on his hips as he leans on one leg.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to leave a man on the dance floor?"
You look down at the grass and rock back and forth on the balls of your feet.
"Sorry." You say earnestly, "Just needed some air."
Joel shakes his head, "It's alright, sweetheart, Y'just scared me it's all. Thought you might've been getting sick or something."
You shake your head. No, you're not sick. He's considerate to ask though. Ellie had a nasty stomach bug a week and a half ago, you had become her in-home nurse and spoon-fed her thin chicken broth until she could eat solids again.
"You gonna tell me what's wrong then?" Joel asks
You curse him. He always seems to know when something is off with you. Even here in the low light of the streetlights in Jackson, he could see you were thinking.
Yeah, thinking about him.
"It's nothing." You brush him off, "I think I'll just go back home and take a shower. You should go back to the party, though, I bet Tommy misses you."
Joel catches you by the elbow as you go to turn away from him again.
"Now, hold on. It's clear I've upset you, tell me what's wrong." He prods, "Lay it on me, I can handle it."
You scoff. Yeah right. He couldn't handle it in 2003, what made him think he'd be able to accept it now.
"Just let me go." You huff, pulling at your arm
"No, Not 'til you tell me what's wrong." Joel's grip tightens, not enough to bruise, but firm enough so you feel his fingers leaving indents in your skin.
You struggle again for a moment before relenting. Fine, if he wanted to know, he was going to know. No sense in hiding it until one of you dies or gets munched on by a Clicker.
"It's you, Joel." You say
"Me?" He asks, dropping your arm, confusion taking over his stupidly handsome face.
"You're the fucking problem." You point your finger into his chest for good measure, "Giving me all these nicknames and letting me sleep in your bed. You're under my fucking skin and I can't get over you."
Joel is looking at you like you've lost it. Good, maybe if he thinks you're crazy, he'll leave you alone, and you can get over him.
"You don't like it when I do those things for you? Want me to stop, cuz I will." Joel says, his anger beginning to rise to meet yours.
You groan, deep down, you really don't know what you want. Maybe you do. God, it was all so fucked up, falling for him again, you were losing it.
"No! I just...I don't..." You huff, wrapping your arms around your body, "I can't keep going like this. Pretending like it's all platonic because it's not."
Here goes nothing, no taking this one back.
"I'm in love with you, Joel. I'm fucking obsessed with you, and your nicknames, teasing, and constant worry over me aren't helping."
Joel is quiet as he takes it all in, you can practically see the gears turning in his head. You squeeze your arms around your body, digging your fingers into your arms til it burns.
"I-I know you dumped me for a reason, I get it, I do." You stammer, "I can get over my feelings again, I'll do it again, I swear..."
Joel finally finds his voice as he gives you a one-word reply, "No."
You ignore him and continue your warpath, "Look, let's just pretend I never said any of this, okay. I'll move back to my house and we can keep being friends."
Your voice practically dies in your throat as you add, "Please, just don't...leave me again."
"I'm not goin' anywhere." Joel sighs deeply and takes a step forward. His natural scent invades your nose as he takes your face in his hands.
"You're crazy, y'know that, girl."
"If you're gonna ridicule me, you can let go and do it further away." You huff in annoyance. You'd just laid your soul bare for this man, and the first thing he does is call you crazy. The audacity he had.
"Now, let me finish." He says sternly
"You can't take your confession back," A small smile plays on his lips. "Because I am just as fucking obsessed with you, baby."
You scoff, yeah, right, he was fucking with you. Joel's thumb runs a soothing path across your cheek,
"I'm not lying, scouts honor." He says
"You weren't even a boy scout." You remind him. thinking back to what you knew about Joel's childhood.
"Hmph, you're right about that one," Joel gives you a coy smile, "Guess I'll just have to show ya then,"
His voice drops a bit and you swear your heart skips a beat,
"Let me show how fucking in love with you I am, baby..."
Before you have a chance to blink, his lips are brushing yours. Your eyes flutter shut, and you tilt your head a bit to deepen the kiss. Joel lets out a deep groan when your hands come up to brush through the hair at the back of his neck.
Joel pulls back to rest his forehead against yours, "Still think I'm lyin' to ya?"
A giggle escapes your lips as you shake your head, and he steals another kiss from you.
"I was in love with you again the moment I saw ya shoveling horse shit when I first got here." He confesses, "Couldn't believe you were still alive."
You snort and pull back from him to look him in the eye, "Cuz the overalls and rubber boots I wore are so attractive. Besides, if you were so into me again, why'd you say you didn't know me to Ellie?"
Joel's eyes soften as he takes in your determined look, you want the truth, not some half-assed excuse.
"I dunno," Joel mumbles, his eyes dropping down to the neckline of your dress.
You scoff as he looks away, here he is not owning up to anything.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Joel? You're a fuckin-"
"I'm sorry." He blurts out, "For all of it. I'm sorry for dumpin' ya before the world ended, I was a real dick, baby. Mailing your shit back like that. I shouldn't have done that."
You hum, in acknowledgment, looking up into his deep brown eyes.
Joel leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead, "Shouldn't have said I didn't know ya to Ellie when we got here either, don't know what I was thinking."
"I get it, if ya change your mind. I'll let you go, just say the word and I'll let you go, I swear. You deserve better than I can offer anyway, I had my chance and blew it already."
You shake your head, no you don't want that.
"What part of I'm fucking obsessed with you, don't you get?" You breathily ask, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
Joel smiles, basking in your forgiveness. Here you were, finally standing in front of him, your feelings laid bare to each other. It's a small step, just letting your fears of the past go yet you feel infinitely lighter now, wrapped up in him.
Your hands fiddle with the buttons on his shirt and curl into the soft fabric. You suddenly feel unbearably hot but you get it now, why love drove so many people mad. Joel's soft gaze on you had your chest buzzing with and excitement you couldn't quite name.
"You wanna go back to your house?" You ask hopefully
"You mean our house?"
"Right, our house." You softly correct yourself
Joel gives you a nod and a smile, Course I do, darlin' lead the way."
You and Joel nearly faceplant three times as the two of you fumble your way up the steps to your shared bedroom. Joel catches you after you stumble over a pair of his discarded jeans from earlier.
"I'll clean that up," Joel says apologetically, kicking them to the side.
"Later." You breathe as his lips tickle the soft skin on your neck
"Later." He parrots with a smile into your skin
You let yourself fall onto the bed, welcoming it's softness and the way it smells of Joel. Before you can miss him, he's hovering over you, stealing kisses from your lips and letting his hands begin to wander across your form.
"Fuck..." Joel sighs as his hands squeeze at your chest.
"You alright up there?" You tease, he sounds so utterly wrecked and you've barely begun.
Joel gives you a playful glare, "You don't fucking know how long I've been waiting to feel these, baby. Been thinking about it since we went to that Macy's."
"My bra shopping got you going, huh?" You tease
Joel grumbles in annoyance and presses a kiss to the skin of your collarbone,
"You're real mean, y'know that."
"You poor baby," You laugh, throwing his nickname back at him, "You'll be alright."
You want to tease him some more, he's so easy to make fun of like this. Your words die in your throat when Joel presses his knee against your core through your dress.
"Not laughing anymore," Joel notes as he fixes his attention on your neck, his hands pulling your cardigan off your body.
Your hands undo the buttons of the shirt he's been teasing you with all night, and you push it off his broad shoulders. Finally, at long last, his torso is all yours to admire.
"Quit staring." Joel orders, "Nothin' there to admire."
"I beg to differ." You smile
Joel scoffs as he leans down to let his lips capture yours as hands roam up your back, searching for the zipper to your dress. Your resolve loosens as your hands curl against the soft skin of his chest, fuck you were really going to do this.
The loud hiss of your still zipped dress as you break the kiss, your eyes begin to swim with fear. That's right, sex with Joel also meant being naked with Joel.
"You want me to stop?" Joel asks, freezing
"No, I don't." You honestly say, "I just..."
"Take your time," Joel says, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, and then to your cheek
Your breaths come out shaky as you speak again, "Just scared you won't like what you see. I don't look like I used to."
"Are you fucking with me?" Joel laughs
"No." You groan, thinking of how your scars ruined your skin, and how age had filled your curves out.
"Baby, you could be neon green under this dress, and I wouldn't care." He presses a kiss to your cheek, "l love your scars, I promise."
Your face warms in embarrassment, how did he say stuff like that so easily, "You haven't even seen them yet."
"Don't gotta," Joel promises, "They're a part of you, I know I'll love them."
It isn't much just a simple sentence, but that's all it takes for fear to be banished from your mind as you smile up at him.
"Take my dress off, Joel." You say
"Yes, ma'am." Joel teases as his fingers find the zipper once more.
Joel pulled your dress from you, delighting to see that you'd forgone a bra with said dress. His hands ran over the raised pink lines and gently caressed your hips and soft belly.
"Even prettier than the last time I saw ya." He assures
Your clothes disappeared onto the floor as Joel disappeared from above you, only to reappear between your thighs, kneeling in front of you. One big hand snuck between your legs as he teased you through your panties. His fucking mouth locked onto the skin of your thighs whispering dirty things into the skin there.
Bold as ever, he slipped his hand under your panties and let his thumb brush over your sensitive clit while two fingers slipped lower and teased your hole.
"Fucking soaked." Joel comments as you blush, "Can I take these off?"
You nod, eager to get out of the suffocating underwear.
Without the restriction of clothing, he was able to latch his mouth to your needy clit. His fingers teased your slit as he ran them along the soft flesh there, teasing but never entering.
"Joel..." You gasp, your hand wrapping around his wrist, unsure if you want him to stop or keep going.
"All mine." He whispers as you cry out, your orgasm washing over you quicker than you expected, your hips nearly flying off the bed. It'd been so long since you felt pleasure like this.
Joel straightens up and rejoins you on the bed, lying beside you as he runs a hand across the scars on your belly, murmuring something about them being beautiful.
"Can we keep going?" You ask breathlessly, looking over at his handsome face
"Course we can." He smiles, sitting back up
You hum in delight as his hips lift and he pulls his pants off, finally exposing the rest of his body to your greedy eyes. The softness of it all, god you fucking loved him.
Joel shook his head a bit as you pulled his boxers down, letting his cock out, "Greedy."
"Can you blame me?" You giggle
The hiss he let out when you ran your fingertips along the head had you dizzy with lust. Joel repositions so he's above you and his lips ghost over your nipples, teasing them with his tongue as he lifts you up so he's notched at your entrance.
"Wait." You say as he pauses above you
"What's wrong?" Joel asks, concerned, his eyes never leave yours
"I just, um," God, this was embarrassing, but he had a right to know, "Dr. Hill did an exam on me a few years back. Said I have a lot of scar tissue inside, so don't be upset if I can't y'know...cum."
"We'll go slow, alright. If it hurts or something is off, you tell me and I stop, okay?" His voice laced with concern
You nod and grip at his forearms, grounding yourself to him.
"Words, baby. Let me hear 'em," Joel says softly, refusing to move without your permission
"I wanna keep going." You say honestly
A gasp escapes your lips when he enters you. He was big, you knew it, you had seen it just seconds ago, yet it still surprised you as he pushed forward, just barely inside
"Fuck..." Joel gasped above you, his hands gripping the pillows beside you
You grimace when he shifts again, pushing more of him into you. Fuck, the doc told you this would hurt, but this bad?
"Need me to stop?" Joel asks worriedly when he sees your face
That's the last fucking thing you want.
"Keep going." You say, determined to see this through.
Joel looks at you, concerned yet he inches forward, letting out ba soft groan under his breath.
Slowly but surely you get there, letting him inside as pain slowly becomes pleasure. His fingers toy with your clit as you squirm under him. What he does next though, it has you nearly passing out from how hot it is. Joel fucking Miller leans down just a bit and actually spits on his cock.
"You're insane." You comment
"You love it," Joel says, stealing your lips in a kiss that's nothing but spit and teeth.
Joel begins to move, soft and slow at first before you demand more from him. You moan as you feel yourself growing even wetter, between his spit and your own arousal, it's actually begun to feel really fucking good.
Joel's hips slam into yours as he finally gives in to your begging for faster and harder.
"This what you want, huh? Is it?" He asks, leaning down to your ear, pressing your thighs up towards your chest a bit.
"Yes!" You yelp when his hand smacks at your inner thigh
"Such a good fucking girl..." Joel mutters as his hips begin to stutter when you tighten around him
"Joel!" You warn, fuck your stomach feels tight, no way is he actually going to get you to cum.
His hips backward, and your jaw drops into a silent moan as he enters again, this time with his thumb teasing your clit.
"C'mon, let go." Joel coerces, "Know you wanna."
You groaned as your orgasm rolled over you, your eyes slammed shut as Joel sucked a hickey onto your chest.
"Fucking hell!" He gasped, freeing himself from you before cumming all over your tummy.
Joel presses a kiss to your damp forehead before dropping himself onto the mattress beside you. Your heart squeezes when he scooches towards you, resting his sweaty head in the valley between your breasts.
"You okay?" You ask softly
"Am I okay?" Joel laughs into your skin, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay." You smile, running a hand through his greying curls atop his head.
Joel lets out a soft hum and presses a kiss to one of your nipples,
"Hungry? Thirsty? Sore?" He asks, apparently ready to provide a world of aftercare despite looking exhausted himself
You wiggle your hips a bit, testing the waters. A twinge of pain shoots through your belly, and you grimace. It had felt so good, yet your body was punishing you anyway.
"Sore." You softly admit, kissing his head, "And kinda sticky."
You motion to the cum that is drying on your body
Joel shifts so he can get a better look at you, examining the way your face is pinched together as your thighs shift again before looking down at your dirty skin.
"I'll run us a bath. " He offers, "Get us some food while I'm at it too."
You nod as he disappears, naked as the day he was born, to run you a bath and get food.
You snort when he returns, clad in your bathrobe you had hung up in the bathroom on your hook, he wipes at your stomach with a warm wash cloth.
"I look good, no?" He asks gesturing to his body
"It's up for debate." You laugh
Joel scoops you up, bridal style, and walks towards the bathroom, "Well, I happen to think I look fabulous."
The bath is perfectly warm, even smelling like the lavender bath fizzes you keep for special occasions. Joel lowers you into the tub before turning to sit on the closed toilet, a plate with crackers and cheese balanced in his hands
"Get your ass in here." You say before he has a chance to sit down fully
"You sure?" Joel asks
"You just fucked me for the first time in two decades and now you're asking to take a bath with me?" You say
Joel sets the food on the edge of the rub, unties the robe, and climbs in. He fidgets nervously as you lean back into his chest.
"You nervous, Miller?" You ask, feeling the way his breath stutters a bit.
"We've never done this before." He points out, "Not even back then."
You hum in acknowledgment, "Lucky you, I guess."
Joel laughs a bit as he links his arms securely around your middle, hands brushing the underside of your breasts, "Lucky me, indeed."
"Would you leave them alone?" You laugh as he squeezes the flesh
"Can't. " Joel mumbles, pressing a soft kiss on your neck, "I missed them."
"Pervert." You say softly
You and Joel sit in the bath til it goes tepid, feeding each other crackers and cheese, and basking in each other's company. Then, he coaxes you to your feet and washes both of you under the steam of the shower.
Now, you were wrapped around him in bed, listening to the crickets chirp. Your eyes are beginning to droop when he speaks,
"I'm sorry," Joel says
"I'm not hurting that much, Joel." You say sleepily into his bare chest.
"No not that. Well, yes that. But I'm sorry for dumpin' ya before the world ended."
You hum, "Mmm. It's alright, I forgive you, remember?
"I know, I just..."
"I forgive you." You softly say, scooting closer to him
Joel presses a kiss to your forehead, "You're too good to me. I'm an ass, I know that."
Joel yelps when you pinch his side.
"Glad you're self-aware." You laugh
"I got real scared back then. Thought I was fucking your life up by sticking around." He admits
"Right, cuz dating a 35-year-old at 24 was the worst thing to ever happen to me" You joke
"No!" Joel protests, "You know what I mean."
You nod, you do know what he means.
"Don't have to be scared anymore." You say quietly
Joel hums and chuckles a bit, rubbing a soothing circle into your back as you lay here with him under the covers.
"No, I don't. You're all mine." He declares
You shift a bit, shuffling so you can look him in the eyes, and press a kiss to his lips. Your voice comes out confidently, as you say something you've wanted to say for so long now,
"Yours."
Here we are...at the end. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am very busy right now, but I may write more for these two later.
Thank you all for reading and following this story as it progressed. If you'd like, leave me some comments with feedback!
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#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel the last of us#tlou fanfiction#fanfic#joel tlou#joel miller x you#joel miller angst#pedro pascal#maria miller#joel miller smut
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Beneath His Love | Jungkook Two-Shot AU (Part 1)
pairing: jungkook x reader genre: dark romance, psychological thriller, soft yandere
summary: Jeon Jungkook was once just a foreign high school friend until he disappeared without a word after graduation. Years later, he came back, not just to reconnect, but to claim a place in your life as your lover. To everyone else, your relationship is something out of a fairytale, the kind others envy. And for a while, you believed it too until the mask he wore began to slip, revealing a side of him you never saw coming.
warnings: emotional and psychological manipulation, control and possessiveness, obsession, anxiety and mild distress, isolation and coercion, themes of entrapment wc: 14k
Your high school years hold some of your best memories. You were young, maybe a little naïve, but you enjoyed every moment. You met friends who stuck with you through the ups and downs, creating memories that stayed with you.
Some friendships lasted, while others naturally faded over time. But out of all the people from your past, the last person you expected to return was Jeon Jungkook.
“I really want to drive you home, but I thought you might have your car with you.” He glances at you, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he bites his bottom one.
You catch the gesture, a smile of your own creeping up before you glance back at the office building.
He’s a new investor in the company you’re working for, and the funny thing is, you met him in the meeting, with no heads-up that he was the person you’d be negotiating with.
Back in high school, you would’ve called him a lost puppy; out of place, unsure. He had just moved from South Korea with his family, thrown into a world of unfamiliar faces and an unfamiliar language. He tried, really tried, but somehow, nothing ever quite fit.
He wasn’t a natural at blending in, and the harder he pushed, the more obvious it became that he just didn’t belong.
But you did. You were the one who made him feel like he could stay like he was already part of something. You made sure he never had to face the feeling of being lost alone.
“I might get embarrassed for saying this, but... I don’t have a car.” You say it so casually, you can’t help but bite the inside of your cheek to stifle a laugh. His face lights up almost instantly.
“Well, that’s good news for me, because I can drive you home.” He grins, and you can’t help but to chuckle.
Comparing him now to his high school self? It’s almost unrecognizable. From his new confidence to the way he holds himself, he’s changed. Completely. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy. But then again, you were there at the meeting.
The one thing that hasn’t changed? The way he feels familiar. Comfortable. Even after all these years apart, that sense of ease with him hasn’t gone anywhere.
It’s almost laughable to think back on Jungkook who once barely spoke in class, who could barely look anyone in the eye. The same Jungkook who now talks business with the Chief Finance Officer of the country’s biggest infrastructure company; and he’s an investor. An investor. You read the reports. From the looks of it, he’s about to become one of the company’s largest backers. You’re still wrapping your mind around it. What exactly does he do now?
Jungkook left after high school. No warning. No goodbye. Just... gone. You tried searching for him, trying to catch some trace of him online, but even his barely-used social media vanished. After a year of wondering what happened, you eventually gave up. Maybe that was his choice all along.
But you can’t shake the thought: Did you ever really become his friend? Did you make him feel like he belonged, like he had a place? You thought you had, but it’s hard to tell. Maybe it never felt the same to him.
And now, as he stands before you, all those unanswered questions bubble up. So many things you want to ask, but you don’t even know where to begin.
You admit that part of you feels a little hurt, like maybe your friendship meant nothing to him. But that feeling? It’s faded. You were young and confused back then. It doesn’t matter now. You know, deep down, he had his reasons for disappearing. And that’s enough for you.
“It’s good to see you again, Y/N.” He says it casually, but there’s warmth behind the words. You glance at him as he drives, a small smile on his face, his attention fully on the road. You can’t help but notice how much he’s changed. It’s not just his look; it’s everything about him now. The confidence he exudes to the ease in his posture. This isn’t the same Jungkook from high school. He used to shy away from meeting your gaze for more than a few seconds, and now, you can hardly believe he’s the one offering you a ride home. Back in high school, it was you who’d offer to walk him home whenever your other friends couldn’t.
“You too,” you reply, smiling back, still watching him.
He doesn’t speak after that, and you both settle in silence as the car hums along the road. There’s something comforting about the silence. No awkwardness, no tension, just his presence beside you. It feels easy.
After a while, you break the silence. “How have you been?” The words come out before you can second-guess yourself. You didn’t want the quiet to stretch on, and this might be your only chance to check up on him.
“I’m good,” he replies, his tone flat but steady. You expected that. It’s the default answer people give when asked how they’re doing. But you were hoping for something more. Something real.
You don’t push for more. Maybe this is all he’s willing to share. But just as you're about to settle back into your thoughts, his voice breaks through.
“I missed you.”
The words hang in the air. His eyes seem far away, like he’s seeing something just beyond reach. The warmth around him has shifted, and for a moment, the easy atmosphere between you both feels heavier.
“Yeah, me too, Kook,” you say softly, offering a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I just wish you’d tell me more about how you’ve been.”
The car rolls up to your apartment building, the conversation trailing off as you prepare to get out. You almost feel like you should’ve said more, but before you can even voice your thoughts, he speaks again.
“Do you have anything to do tomorrow evening?”
You blink, caught off guard by the sudden question. He smirks, amused by your surprise, but before he can say anything else, you cut him off.
“None. Why?” you ask, trying to play it cool, as if you don’t know the answer.
“I was hoping to take you out for dinner, Y/N. It’s been years, and I know I owe you an apology and an explanation.”
You purse your lips, but you fight the smile, pretending to be annoyed. “Good that you know.”
He chuckles, and without another word, he steps out to open the door for you.
The dinner went exactly as planned. It’s Saturday night, and you’re still in disbelief that you’re sitting across from Jungkook after a decade, the same familiar ease between you both. The bond hasn’t shifted; it feels just like it did back then. Can that really be possible?
You never expected that, in a series of random days, you'd reconnect with your long-lost friend and pick up right where you left off, surprisingly comfortable, like no time had passed at all.
To sum up his story, Jungkook left the country a week after graduation due to family matters. He didn’t get into the details, just mentioned family and wealth, and honestly, you didn’t push for more. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was here, now.
“Investing? That’s it?” you asked casually, curious about his line of work as you took a sip of your wine.
“Yeah. Why? You sound like you’re doubting me,” he said, narrowing his eyes playfully as he cut into his steak. You quickly shook your head, laughing.
“No, no— I’m not doubting you. It’s just... how do you just invest in a company? What else do you do?”
His lips twitched as if holding back a laugh before he took a bite of his steak.
“With me, it’s possible.”
It’s amazing how much had changed for him. From his fluent English to how smoothly he communicated, he had a way of speaking now; confident and clear. He knew what to talk about and when to hold back. He even went into detail about his business, explaining how he went from nothing to having it all. Apparently, he’s rich rich.
It still blows your mind. He doesn’t just invest locally, but globally, with major stakes in several countries. One of his biggest investments? A multinational tech company in the USA. You googled his name later, and the results were overwhelming; articles, interviews, and profiles. It hit you then: you had no idea.
“I saw Jungkook recently. He’s freaking rich!” you said during a video call with your high school friends on a random Friday evening.
“Oh my god, you did? I thought you knew, Y/N. He’s always in the business news!” Mina, your entrepreneur friend, exclaimed.
“Yeah, I thought you knew too, since you were close to him,” Chloe added as she applied her makeup.
“I would’ve known if you told me,” you said, sarcastically. They all laughed, including Henry, the only guy in your friend group.
They all knew Jungkook, but they were never really close to him. But you try to get them to hang out with him. It was hard, though. He never seemed to fit in with anyone else. He wasn’t exactly open to making friends outside of you.
You didn’t mind being his only friend, but there were times you wished you could hang out with your whole circle without worrying about leaving him alone. You can’t stomach seeing him being alone.
Your first dinner with him turned into another, and then another, until it reached a point where you were seeing him almost every day. Well, it makes sense. He has back-to-back meetings with the CEO and CFO, all to discuss investment deals and company performance. You were shocked when you found out he’d become one of the company’s major shareholders. But, honestly, you shouldn’t have been surprised. With his global investments, your company was just one of many he had stakes in.
You’ve sat through countless meetings with him, being the Investor Relations Analyst, but what truly catches you off guard is how he shifts between playful and serious. Outside the boardroom, he’s relaxed and fun, but the moment he steps into the business world, he’s a different beast; focused, no-nonsense, and damn good at what he does.
“I still can’t believe how different you are in the boardroom. Your 17-year-old self must be so proud,” you joked one time when he invited you over for dinner at his place. You had to add, his “place” wasn’t just any apartment. It was a goddamn penthouse, bigger than your office floor.
His penthouse is airy, with massive windows letting in all the natural light and giving a breathtaking view of the city below. The furniture is minimal; soft neutrals, a simple sofa, a coffee table, and a few essentials. But none of that matters because you can’t wrap your head around how massive his place is.
It’s your third time visiting, and you still haven’t gotten used to how much wealth he’s surrounded by. Back in high school, you knew he had a solid life, but this, this level of luxury? You never imagined it. Sure, his family’s wealth played a part, but it was his own hustle that built the wealth he’s sitting on now. He mentioned once that part of the reason he went back to Korea was for his family’s business, but he didn’t go into detail.
“You really can’t stop talking about how different I am now, can you?” he teased as he smiled, removing his coat and loosening his tie. Both of you came straight from the meeting, and here you were again, in his penthouse. You shook your head, unable to stop smiling.
“You’ve definitely changed,” you shrugged playfully as he walked to the kitchen island to prep dinner.
“I plan to cook kimchi stew. You mentioned that you want me to cook it again.” he said, pulling out the ingredients one by one.
“Ah, you remembered,” you smiled, feeling a bit giddy. “Do you need help?”
He flashed that smile of his, shaking his head. “Nah. You relax. Dinner’s on me.”
“I really do want to help, though,” you said, walking over to him. “You always cook for us.”
He stared at you for a moment, a soft smile tugging at his lips, before nodding and grabbing the tofu and green onions.
“Alright, fine,” he chuckled. “You can slice these.” He placed them on the counter, then grabbed an apron and slowly slipped it over your head.
Your heart started to race, feeling the warmth of his hands as they adjusted the straps around your back. You barely breathed as he tied the apron, feeling like an electric current shot through you when his hand grazed your skin.
“While you do that, I’ll prepare the kimchi,” he said, turning around with a grin before walking to the fridge.
With his back to you, as he chopped the kimchi, you were frozen. You could feel your heart hammering, and your stomach doing flips, but you couldn’t move an inch. What the hell was happening to you?
There’s this strange flutter in your stomach, something you can’t quite put into words. You don’t move, not until he finally glances back at you. You flash a quick, awkward smile, trying to shake off the odd tension before turning your focus to the tofu, hoping it’ll distract you from the feeling you can't shake.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Henry’s birthday party was in full swing at one of the biggest clubs in the city. Nothing new there. Clubbing was pretty much a tradition whenever you and your friends had extra cash to burn. The last time you went was a work event, which sucked because most of your coworkers were too old to actually enjoy the club. Tonight, though? Different story. The music was loud, the drinks were flowing, and you were exactly where you wanted to be; wrapped around Chloe’s shoulder, screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs.
Feeling a bit worn out, you drop into a seat, chugging your drink while mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Three messages from Jungkook. One missed call.
Jungkook: Wanna have dinner tonight? We can do it at your place since you’re fussing about me not visiting your place hahaha
Jungkook: Heyyy?
Jungkook: Oh, I didn’t know you were with your friends. Sorry to bother you.
Shit. You checked the timestamps, first message at 7 PM, second at 9 PM, and the last one just fifteen minutes ago. The missed call? Right after the second text.
How did he even know you were out? You clicked on your Instagram story. Viewed. Of course.
You quickly typed out a response, apologizing for not replying sooner.
Jungkook: No worries, Y/N 🙂
That’s when it hit you, almost everyone from high school was here, even the ones who barely talked to Henry. But Jungkook wasn’t. You scanned the crowd before glancing back at your phone, staring at his last message.
Should you feel bad? Maybe. He used to hang out with your group sometimes, but Henry was the one throwing the party. You couldn’t exactly tell him who to invite. Still, a small part of you felt guilty. Jungkook had been a part of your high school life, and it felt weird that he wasn’t here too.
“Y/N, what’s up with you? You’re spacing out,” Mina suddenly appeared beside you.
“Nothing,” you said, forcing a smile.
She peeked at your phone. “Who are you texting?”
“No one, just reading a message from Jungkook,” you answered, locking your screen. “By the way, did Henry invite everyone from high school?”
Mina shrugged. “I guess?”
“Did he invite Jungkook?”
“I doubt it.”
“Why?”
Mina chimed in, laughing. “Girl, he’s a fucking millionaire. You really think he has time for this?”
Your jaw tightened. “You guys used to hang out with him at least once.”
She raised a brow. “Then ask Henry, not me.” She patted your back before disappearing into the crowd.
You sighed, staring at Jungkook’s last message. Maybe Mina was right. He probably didn’t care about not being invited. He had more important things to do than go clubbing with his former high school classmates. But another part of you wasn’t so sure.
Your phone buzzed again.
Jungkook: You must be having fun, leaving me on read hahaha
Oh, fuck.
You: Hahaha I’m sorry. I’m trying to sober up. What are you doing
Jungkook: You’re drunk already? Who are you going home with?
You: I’m good haha I’m going home with my friends. Let’s have dinner tomorrow.
Jungkook: How are you going home with them if they’re also drunk?
You weren’t drunk, just tipsy. But if Jungkook thought you were drunk, then maybe you’d actually get drunk trying to prove otherwise.
Jungkook: Do you want me to fetch you?
You: It’s okay, Kook. I can manage. My friends aren’t drunk. We’re fine.
No reply. You reread your messages, sipping your whiskey, assuming he’d drop it. But then—
Jungkook: I’ll go there and wait until you’re done so I can drive you home.
Your stomach did a weird flip. You don’t know what or how to feel. There are a lot of thoughts that are running in your head and you don’t know what to entertain first.
It had been almost a year since you started hanging out again, and you weren’t going to lie, you liked the way he looked after you. How he always checked in, insisted on driving you so you wouldn’t have to take the bus, how he cooked for you without you even asking. Hell, you’d eat anything he made, even dishes you normally hated. There was something about his effort, his presence, that made your heart race just a little.
And now, he was coming to pick you up.
But then there was the other part, the part where he’d be stepping into a club full of his old high school classmates who didn’t even think to invite him. It didn’t sit right with you. If he came here, would it remind him of how things used to be? Would it make him feel out of place?
There was no way in hell you were going to make him wait around for you to finish partying in a place he should’ve been invited to in the first place.
You took a deep breath and texted back:
You: Okay.
Then you locked your phone, downed the rest of your drink, and got up to rejoin your friends. Might as well enjoy the last few moments before Jungkook arrived.
“I have to go soon, Henry,” you lied. “Charlie’s home. He might wake up looking for me.” You added, using your nephew as an excuse.
Henry frowned. “You never said you were babysitting tonight. That sucks. I’ll grab my keys and—”
You cut him off. “No need. Jungkook’s driving me home.”
Henry stopped, then smirked. “Wow. Are you dating him already? You should’ve invited him.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re the birthday boy. That was your job, not mine.”
The moment your friends heard you were leaving, they wasted no time plotting your downfall. Before you could even argue, Henry was in front of you, bottle in hand, while Chloe grabbed your head like a coach hyping up their star player, and Mina? She was already recording.
"One last shot! Well, bottle, for the road!" Henry announced, grinning like a devil.
You groaned, but resistance was pointless. The moment the bottle tilted, the cheers erupted around you. The burn hit instantly, but damn, it felt good. Who knew last-minute drinking could be this satisfying?
It only took Jungkook 15 minutes to get there. As soon as he texted that he’d arrived, you wasted no time saying your goodbyes. You didn’t really want to leave yet, but making him wait for the party to end at 6 a.m. wasn’t an option. It was barely 1 a.m., and the night was just getting started, but you weren’t about to let him stand around outside just for your sake.
Stepping out of the club, the pounding bass faded behind you, but the street was still alive with music, neon lights, and crowds spilling out of bars. It was a Saturday night, prime time for people to party, and leaving early kind of sucked.
You hadn’t even replied to Jungkook’s last message, but it wasn’t hard to spot him. He was leaning against his car, parked right in front of the club, eyes glued to his phone. Just as you were about to call out to him, your phone buzzed. His name lit up the screen.
The moment he heard the ringtone, he looked up, and when his eyes landed on you, his whole face lit up, his smile stretching wide. You laughed, shaking your head. This man.
“Did you miss me that much?” you teased, walking over.
“You weren’t answering my texts,” he shot back, grinning as he slipped his phone into his back pocket.
“I figured I’d just answer you in person,” you said with a chuckle, opening the passenger door. “Let’s go?”
“Wait, you’re actually done for the night?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah. I sobered up, and I’m not really in the mood to drink anymore, so I might as well head home,” you shrugged before sliding into the car.
“You sure? Henry might be pissed you’re leaving early,” he said, settling into the driver’s seat.
“Nah, trust me, he won’t,” you laughed, clicking your seatbelt.
Jungkook reached behind his seat and pulled out a bottle of water, twisting off the cap before handing it to you.
“Here. Drink some water. Stay hydrated.” He gave you a small smile, and for some reason, it completely threw you off. You should take the water, but your body wouldn’t budge. Your fingers twitched, and your mind screamed at you to move, but all you could do was stare, caught in the moment, caught in him.
And before you could think twice, you leaned in.
His lips met yours, warm and soft, and everything else faded. A little water spilled from the bottle onto your thigh, but you barely noticed. All you could focus on was the way he felt against you, the way your heart pounded like a drum in your chest.
Your head swayed slightly, the tequila still messing with your balance, but you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or just the way his lips tasted.
Then it hit you.
Your eyes snapped open, and you jerked back, hand flying to your mouth.
“Shit—sorry—”
Before you even finished your sentence, he pulled you towards him, pressing his lips on yours. He pulled you so close, his hand wrapped around your nape, gently holding you in place, and you melted into the kiss, closing your eyes.
His lips moved against yours hungrily, and the realization sent a shiver down your spine. Your fingers found their way to his hair, gripping it lightly.
Jungkook broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against yours. His fingers found the back of your head, his touch so gentle that it sent shivers down your spine.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he murmured, as you shook your head.
“I should be the one saying sorry.” You chuckled a little. He smiled, rubbing your cheek gently with his thumb.
He leaned in, his lips grazing yours before he claimed your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. It was different from the previous ones, more controlled yet passionate. His free hand moved to cup your face, his fingers tracing small circles on your cheek, and you felt your body melt into his touch.
Everything blurred together in a rush, you were in the car, and the next, the city lights flickered past as Jungkook drove in silence. It wasn’t until he pulled into a familiar parking garage that reality sank in.
You were supposed to be heading home, but instead, you found yourself in front of his apartment building.
Maybe his place was closer to the club. It made sense.
Jungkook parked the car in the underground parking lot of his apartment building, the engine purring to a stop. You were both panting heavily, the atmosphere inside the car was filled with tension. He turned to look at you, his gaze intense and darkened with desire.
"We should go upstairs." He said softly.
As soon as the door slams shut behind them, Jungkook pulls you close, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Your bodies are pressed up against each other, and the heat between you is intense.
He kisses you hungrily, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he backs you up against the wall. Your fingers clutch at his shirt, removing the fabric in your grip as you try to bring him even closer.
Then he breaks the kiss, his breathing heavy as he leans his forehead against yours.
He took a deep breath, his fingers still gripping your hips tightly. His eyes roamed your face, taking in every detail, and his gaze fixed on your eyes.
“I like you, Y/N. Even before.” He said, almost sounding like a whisper, but it sounded so clear.
With a swift motion, he lifted you, wrapping your legs around his waist. You were surprised at the sudden movement, but he held you tightly. He carried you towards the living room, his lips finding your neck as he continued to press hot kisses on your skin.
His apartment windows stretched across the room, but the city lights outside barely reached in, leaving most of the space cloaked in shadow.
He gently placed you on the couch, his body lingers above yours, arms locking you in.
His lips found yours again, his tongue exploring your mouth as if he couldn't get enough of you. His body pressed against yours, leaving no space between you, and you could feel the heat radiating from him.
Your fingers gripped his biceps, your nails biting into his flesh as you tried to hold back the sounds threatening to escape your lips. His mouth continued to explore your neck, his kisses and gentle bites sending waves of pleasure through you.
Jungkook quickly removed your dress before pushing you back onto the couch and capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Your hands roamed freely along each other's bodies, as he trailed kisses down your neck.
You couldn’t quite piece together the exact steps you took to end up here, but damn, you weren’t complaining. Everything felt perfect, from the way he touched you to the way he spoke to you. And even as your mind wandered, wondering if you'd regret any of it later, you shoved that thought aside. For now, you were savoring every single moment.
You woke up to sunlight streaming through the window, too bright, almost blinding. You blinked a few times, trying to shake off the haze of sleep, only to realize that this wasn’t your room. You didn’t need to check to know exactly where you were. The familiar warmth beside you told you everything you needed to know.
Your gaze lingered on him. Jungkook, still asleep, lying on his stomach. Both of you were tangled under a duvet, skin against skin, the night’s events replaying in your mind. It had been unexpected, but you weren’t regretting it. Not one bit. Out of all the men in your life, he was the one who’d made you feel truly at ease during the most intimate moment.
You couldn’t stop thinking about what he said last night. His words still echoed in your ears.
“I like you, Y/N.”
You reached out, gently brushing his hair, feeling the smooth strands between your fingers. You couldn’t help but feel a little foolish for not noticing how he’d felt before, but now, it didn’t matter. You weren’t going to waste time overanalyzing his feelings.
But damn, if you had known sooner...
You couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. Would you have really done things differently? Probably not. Maybe back in high school, there was nothing there. But now? With how ridiculously handsome and damn near perfect he looked? Hell, you couldn’t deny it.
Life is simple, and so is your relationship with Jungkook.
After that night, there was no overthinking, no awkward tension. You both just went with it. Dating him felt natural, almost effortless. And let’s be real, you weren’t about to let him fuck you if it wasn’t going to lead somewhere.
It still blows your mind how much things have changed in just a year. You reconnected with an old high school friend, found out he’s stupidly rich, and now? You’re dating him.
You thought dating Jungkook wouldn’t feel much different from being his friend, but damn, you were wrong. In the best way possible.
Every morning, without fail, he texts you a sweet “good morning,” even when he’s miles away on a business trip. He brings you little gifts just because, takes you out on weekly dates, and surprises you with flowers for no reason at all. Even when he’s drowning in work, he always makes time for you, whether it’s at his place or yours. And most especially, he really knows how to make you feel good. He already knows what you love to do and what’s not. He knows when to stop and when to go on. Sometimes, he feels so perfect that you catch yourself wondering if he’s even real.
One morning, after spending the night at his place (which, at this point, is almost every night), you wake up to the soft press of his lips against your skin.
“Morning, love,” he murmurs, fingertips brushing your cheek.
You mumble a sleepy, “Morning.”
“I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He peppers kisses along your face, neck, and arms.
You groan a little, still half-asleep, but you knew this was coming. He’s heading to a business conference out of town, just for the day, but it still sucks that he’s leaving on your day off. You had already planned to head back to your own place anyway, clean up, and maybe just exist in your own space for a while.
“Mm-kay,” you mumble, trying to bury yourself back into the sheets. But Jungkook, being Jungkook, doesn’t stop kissing you, making it impossible to stay asleep. You finally cracked an eye open, shooting him an annoyed look, and making him laugh.
“You should wake up now. I made you breakfast. Eat before it gets cold,” he says, dropping a kiss on your forehead before heading toward the door. “Bye, love. I love you.”
Still groggy, you nod. “I love you too. Take care.”
Once he’s gone, you follow through with your plan, breakfast, then heading home.
The second you step inside your apartment, it’s painfully obvious you haven’t been around much. It smells like it’s been abandoned, and the state of it isn’t much better—clothes piled on your bed, untouched documents scattered across the dining table. A mess, but a familiar one.
As much as you love staying with Jungkook, there’s something comforting about being in your own space. No one to answer to, no one to accommodate, just you, doing whatever the hell you want. Jungkook has asked you to move in with him more times than you can count, but you always say no. Not because you don’t love being with him, but because you love having a place that’s yours. A space to retreat to when you just need to be alone.
The only thing you hadn’t planned for today was your friends ambushing you with an invite to go out tonight.
Your friend group never really schedules hangouts; it just sort of happens. You could go weeks, even a month, without a single message, and then, out of nowhere, someone’s in the mood for a drink or dinner, and suddenly, it’s a plan. Not everyone always makes it, of course. Life gets in the way. But when the stars align and most of you are free, you all try your best to show up.
"Come on, Y/N," Mina whined through the phone. "The last time we saw you was four months ago. And don’t even try to make excuses, you literally just said you’re at home."
You groaned, throwing yourself onto the couch. "Mina, I just spent all day cleaning. I’m exhausted."
"Then we’ll just invite ourselves over!" She laughed, knowing exactly how to push your buttons.
"What the hell, no! I’m not letting you guys trash my place after I spent the whole day making it spotless!"
"Then get dressed and come out with us!" she shot back. "Dinner and drinks. We miss you."
She wasn’t wrong. You missed them too. You’d skipped out on a lot of meet-ups lately—not intentionally, but between work and, well, spending nearly all your free time with Jungkook, your social life had definitely taken a hit. The only time you weren’t with him was when you were at the office.
So, after some back and forth, you gave in. You sent Jungkook a quick text letting him know you were heading out with your friends, though he hadn’t responded yet. He was probably still busy with his conference.
Now, almost 9 p.m., you were sitting in a pub downtown, catching up with your friends over drinks. The place was buzzing with weekend energy, and despite the last-minute plans, it felt good to be here.
“Even though I try to convince myself that we still have something left, I just don’t feel it anymore,” Chloe admitted, swirling her drink in her hand. The conversation had taken a turn toward her struggling relationship. Everyone listened intently.
“We’ve both gotten so caught up in our own responsibilities that we barely connect anymore," she continued, her voice even, like she had already made peace with it.
You studied her face, searching for some sign of heartbreak, but she just looked… tired. Maybe even indifferent.
Chloe was a fashion model, and her boyfriend was a marine engineer. Their lives had been moving in different directions for a while now. The long distance, the fading feelings, it had all been dragging on for too long.
“If you’re not happy, why stay?” Mina asked, echoing what everyone was probably thinking. "This has been going on for two years, Chloe. Maybe it’s time to let go. We’re not getting any younger."
The weight of the conversation made you pause.
It got you thinking about Jungkook. About your relationship.
You’d been with him for half a year now, and honestly, things had been good. No major problems, no doubts. Just happiness. Just him.
But how long would it stay that way?
What would your problems even be? What could you possibly fight about? Could your love for him fade the way Chloe’s did for her boyfriend?
The thought unsettled you.
Before you could get lost in it, your phone rang. The table fell silent as everyone glanced at you. You quickly grabbed it, checking the caller ID.
Jungkook.
You excused yourself and stepped outside, pressing the phone to your ear.
"Hey, Kook," you greeted softly, staring down at your feet.
“You’re out?” His voice was calm, but there was something off about it.
"I sent you a message," you said, glancing through the pub’s window at your friends. "I’m with my friends."
“I’m at your place.”
Your breath hitched. "I thought you were coming home tomorrow?"
"The conference ended at seven. I decided to drive back instead of staying overnight." His tone was flat, unreadable.
“Oh.” You fidgeted with the hem of your top.
“I came straight to your apartment, thinking you’d be there,” he added. “But you weren’t.”
You hesitated. "Mina invited us out. It was last minute, but everyone was free, so…"
"I didn’t see your message until I got here."
You weren’t sure where this was going, but before you could say anything, he spoke again.
"Are you heading home soon?" His voice was calm, but you could sense the impatience laced within it.
"I'm… not sure," you admitted, just as Henry stepped outside, lighting a cigarette.
"Who are you talking to?" Henry asked casually.
"Jungkook," you said, turning your back to him. “I think we’ll end at ten or eleven. Depends on their mood.” You added to Jungkook.
Henry took a drag of his cigarette, chuckling. "Chloe wants to go clubbing after this. We’ll probably be out past eleven."
You shot him an annoyed look. "Move away. I don’t want to inhale your cigarette."
He just laughed, stepping back into the pub.
"I'm not sure what time this will end," you told Jungkook. "If you want, you can rest in my room. I just cleaned everything." You tried to lighten the mood, but he sighed on the other end.
“Y/N, it’s late. You should rest. You’ve had a long day.”
His voice was gentle, but something about it felt off.
"I’ll be home before eleven," you promised. "You should rest too."
“I’ll just pick you up.”
You blinked. "No, it’s fine. Henry said he’d drive me home."
Silence. Then—
“Really?” His voice dripped with sarcasm.
You frowned. "What?"
“I don’t know. Just doesn’t sit right with me. The idea of you letting another man drive you home while your boyfriend is literally waiting at your place.”
You sighed, frustration creeping in. "Jungkook, it’s Henry. You know him."
"Okay then," he said, the edge in his voice sharp enough to cut. "I’ll just rest. Bye."
And then he hung up.
You stared at your phone, stunned.
The hell was that?
Jungkook was never the jealous type. He knew Henry. He knew there was nothing between you two. So why was he suddenly acting like this?
Maybe he was just exhausted. After all, he’d driven almost four hours straight after a long business trip.
Still, something about that call left you uneasy.
As soon as you stepped back inside, you grabbed your things and announced, “Jungkook’s at my place. He’s looking for me.”
Your friends exchanged glances, and their curiosity arose.
Mina gently grabbed your wrist, stopping you mid-motion. “Then let him wait. I thought he was out of town for business?”
“He went home right after,” you replied.
Henry took a slow sip of his beer before butting in. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re running off.”
Chloe narrowed her eyes. “Did you two fight?”
You shook your head a little too quickly. “I just really need to go.”
Mina arched a brow, arms crossed. “So, you’re just leaving? Again? You did the same thing last time when you said you were coming over, but surprise, Jungkook had plans, and we never saw you.”
You flinched at her words because, well… she wasn’t wrong. You had bailed on them before, not intentionally, but it still happened.
“I know, and I apologized,” you said, voice softer now.
Mina scoffed. “Right, and now you’re ditching us again?”
You hesitated. A part of you wanted to stay, but what was the point if your mind was already elsewhere? Jungkook was at your place, waiting. And the way he sounded earlier… something felt off. You wouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself knowing that.
“I’m sorry. I swear I’ll make it up to you,” you said, rushing to press a quick kiss on their cheeks before grabbing your things.
Henry even offered to drive you home, but you shut that down immediately. No way in hell were you making things worse.
You tried calling Jungkook and then texting, but he didn’t answer. Not even once.
Did he stay? Did he leave? Was he sleeping or ignoring you on purpose?
You had no idea. All you knew was that you needed to get home. Fast.
The moment you step inside your apartment, you don’t need any grand gestures to tell you Jungkook is here. His shoes are neatly tucked in the corner and his coat draped over the couch’s hand rest.
You opened the lights, scanning the room, but you already know where he is. Your bedroom door is closed, and something in the air tells you he’s behind it.
For a moment, you hesitate. Then, without overthinking, you twist the doorknob and step inside.
There he is.
Stretched out on your bed, sound asleep. The bed that fits you just right somehow looks too small with him in it, his presence making the room feel both full and impossibly small. A soft glow from your bedside lamp casts delicate shadows across his face, highlighting his perfect features.
You step closer and notice he’s already changed into the clothes he keeps here, a reminder of how often your space has become his, too. Whenever you choose to stay here, he chooses to stay with you.
You can feel the shift in the air before he even stirs. After watching him sleep for a few quiet moments, he moves, his eyes fluttering open and landing on you almost instantly.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" you ask softly.
He sits up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before shaking his head. "You’re back? I thought you were staying out longer." His voice is low and laced with sleep, but as he stands to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, you search his expression for any lingering annoyance. He seems calm now, so maybe whatever tension was there before has faded.
"You wanted me to come home, right?" You meet his gaze, trying to read him.
"Yeah, but if you really wanted to stay out, you didn’t have to leave early," he replies easily.
"But you wanted me home," you counter, brows slightly furrowed.
"I did. But I didn’t force you, did I? I told you I’d rest, and I did." His tone is matter-of-fact, like the answer is obvious.
"Then why did you sound so irritated? You didn’t force me, sure, but you acted like you were pissed." You pull back, doing your best to keep your voice steady.
"I'm not irritated. I'm just worried that you were out late and I wasn’t around. That’s it."
And now, his tone says otherwise.
You just stare at him, at the way his frustration lingers in the air, thick and heavy. The whole situation is fucked, and you don’t even know how to respond.
You want to be mad, but you can’t figure out if you even have a reason to be. You want to walk out, slam the door behind you, let him deal with whatever this is on his own. But you don’t move.
You just stand there. Watching. Waiting.
After a moment, he lets out a breath, his shoulders easing. When he meets your eyes again, the tension between you starts to fade.
Without another word, he steps forward, closing the space between you. His arms wrap around you from behind, pulling you in as his warmth.
His lips find your neck, brushing against it before pressing soft kisses along your skin, his grip tightens around you.
"Look, I’m sorry, Y/N," he murmurs against your skin. "I’m just tired. And when I got home, all I wanted was to see you, but you weren’t here."
Another kiss. Then another.
That night was filled with quiet embraces and soft kisses. You let him hold you until sleep takes over, as if the tension from earlier had never existed.
A lingering thought sits at the back of your mind, something unspoken, but you push it aside, choosing to sleep it away.
By the next day, everything falls back into place. No more arguments, no tension, just the usual life of being with him in his space. You had worried that the disagreement might leave a crack, but just like you, he let it go.
You find yourself falling for him even more. Not just for the way he listens, but for how he truly understands you. For the way he always makes sure you're okay, making life with him feel effortless.
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and with every passing moment, your love for him only deepens. It still feels surreal, to have someone like Jungkook; a man who loves you in all the right ways. A man so close to perfect, you struggle to find a single flaw. It sounds almost too good to be true, yet here you are, living it.
But perfection is an illusion. No one is truly flawless. Sometimes, love makes you see only what you want to see, painting over imperfections with rose-colored strokes. Maybe it’s because you love him so much that you’ve convinced yourself he’s perfect. Maybe, without realizing it, you’ve chosen not to notice the flaws.
You take a deep breath, eyes lingering on Chloe’s Instagram story. A picture of her, Mina, and Henry on the hiking trip you had all planned together. A trip you were supposed to be on. It had been set in since last year, but in the end, you stayed behind. Because Jungkook didn’t want you to go.
As much as you hate to admit it, it frustrates you. He had brushed it off as concern, calling it too dangerous, even though the trail was a well-known tourist spot with guides and safety measures in place. You hadn’t even asked for his permission, just informed him of your plans, but he shut it down anyway. And that sucked.
But you didn’t push. The moment you sensed his growing irritation, you backed off, not wanting to turn it into something bigger.
“It’s okay, love. We’ll plan a hiking trip together. I just don’t want you going without me, I’d go insane worrying about you,” Is the only thing he says before he showers you with kisses.
To be fair, he did follow through. A week after your friends went, he took you on your own hiking trip, just the two of you. It wasn’t the same trail, but the effort was there, and you genuinely appreciated it. Still, no matter how much you tried to shake it, a part of you couldn’t ignore the longing in your chest, the part that wished you had gone with them.
It was a Tuesday afternoon in the thick of summer when your phone buzzed with a call from your father. He was asking you to come home for his birthday dinner. Of course, you hadn’t forgotten his special day, but the invitation itself was unexpected.
Your dad never really made a big deal out of his birthday. It was usually just him, your mom, and sometimes the kids—your sister's son and daughter. Sure, you’d been home to celebrate milestone birthdays like his 50th and 55th, but now he was only turning 57, and you were curious why he suddenly wanted you home for dinner.
The train ride would take two hours, but that wasn’t the issue. It was the thought of telling Jungkook. You hadn’t introduced him to your family yet, despite dating for a whole year. You wanted to, of course, but this was not the right time now that Jungkook was out of the country for business.
You really wanted to visit your dad for his birthday, but you weren’t sure if Jungkook would let you.
Yeah, it sounds kind of messed up, but he’s been getting stricter about where you go, especially if it’s somewhere he’s not with you. They might suggest, "Why not just invite him?" But, of course, he’s out of the country right now, so that’s not even an option.
You thought about not telling him at all, but you knew you’d feel guilty. And if you were being honest, he’d find out eventually, somehow. He always did.
So, you decided to bite the bullet and just let him know you were heading home to celebrate with your dad. You sent a quick message, figuring it was easier than calling, especially since he was probably busy. Plus, you honestly didn’t want to deal with his reaction over the phone.
But, of course, he called you right after the message was sent.
“Yes, Kook?” You answered, nervously biting your nails.
“You said you’re going home for your dad’s birthday?” He asked, his voice laced with uncertainty as you tried to figure out his mood.
“Yeah, he called me out of nowhere for dinner tonight.” You replied, absentmindedly playing with your lips, hoping the casual tone would ease the tension.
“How are you getting there? I’ll be home tomorrow evening.”
“It’s fine. Just a train ride, nothing to worry about.”
You wanted to reassure him in a single breath; that you’d be fine, that it was safe, and if it got late, you could always stay overnight. But for some reason, the words wouldn’t come.
“Can’t you just go over the weekend? We could go together. You have work tomorrow anyway.” His voice held that familiar, persuasive tone, trying to talk you out of it.
“Today’s his birthday, and he asked me to be there.”
You wished you had more energy to push back, to explain how important it was to you, but honestly, if he didn’t want you to go, then whatever.
“Okay.”
His response caught you off guard, almost so much that you didn’t hear it at first.
“What?”
“You can go. It’s your dad’s birthday. I just want you to take care of yourself on the ride, okay?”
You paused, not quite believing what you were hearing. No argument? No complaints? You almost wondered if he was playing some mind game, letting you go without any resistance.
“Love, it’s your father. Of course, I’ll let you go. Sure, I’m worried about your safety, but I don’t want you to miss his birthday.”
You felt a mix of relief and confusion. So, you excitedly planned the trip, knowing you’d make it home to see your dad. You even considered staying over if it got too late, just to catch the first train back in the morning.
It had been years since you last saw your parents, the last visit being when they came to the city for a doctor’s appointment and to check up on you, of course.
Before heading home, you stopped by a few shops to pick out gifts—not just for your dad, but for the whole family. A little something for your mom, your sister, and of course, the biggest gifts went to your niece and nephew. You missed them, and choosing things that reminded you of them felt like a small way to show it.
The train ride was uneventful, quieter than usual, probably because it was just an ordinary weekday. As soon as you arrived, you were met with warm hugs and excited voices. You handed out the gifts—clothes, perfume, and a wristwatch for the adults, and toys for the little ones.
“I don’t even remember the last time I saw you!” your sister, Alice, said as you all gathered around the dining table.
You laughed, reaching for a serving of food. “I know. Last time I saw you, you weren’t this fit. Damn, what are you even taking?” you teased, watching her roll her eyes.
“Y/N, how have you been? How’s work?” your dad asked, cutting into his steak. Then, with a teasing smirk, he added, “I heard you’ve got a boyfriend now.”
Your mom chuckled, clearly amused.
“Work’s been good! Actually, I just got promoted and got a salary increase,” you said with a proud grin.
“Well, duh. That’s because your boyfriend is literally one of the major stakeholders,” Alice said, raising a knowing eyebrow while taking a bite of her food.
She wasn’t wrong. Even though she lived far away, you always kept in touch, and out of everyone, she was the one who knew the most about your relationship.
“Wow, he sounds like a big deal. Why didn’t you bring him?” your mom asked with a smile.
“He’s in France for a business trip,” you replied simply.
Half of the dinner conversation revolved around Jungkook. It felt good to talk about him, to say his name out loud in a space where you didn’t have to think too much about anything else. It reminded you why you loved him, why you chose to be with him. You usually only talked about him with Alice or Chloe. Mina and Henry, on the other hand, weren’t as eager to hear about him.
You knew why. They thought you had changed, that you’d become distant since you started dating Jungkook. And, well… they weren’t entirely wrong. You weren’t as available as you used to be. It wasn’t always because of Jungkook, but if you were being honest, a lot of the time, it was. Either you already had plans with him, or he just didn’t want you to go.
Sometimes, you wondered if that was normal. But every time the thought crossed your mind, you brushed it off before it could linger too long. Overthinking would only stress you out, and honestly, it was easier to just let it go.
As the evening passed, you felt completely at ease surrounded by your family. It had been so long since you’d had the chance to truly relax and catch up with everyone. Alice, living just a few blocks away, always stayed in the town with her husband while you ventured to the city. She had no need to move away, especially since her husband worked while she stayed home with the kids. You were happy for them, but you also missed these moments of simple, unhurried connection.
You were lounging on the couch when Alice walked in from the kitchen, holding her phone. She raised an eyebrow at you as she approached.
“Why aren’t you checking your phone? Jungkook called me, asking about you. He said you’ve been ignoring his calls.”
Oh shit.
Your stomach dropped. You’d completely forgotten about your phone. You scrambled off the couch, rushing to grab your bag from the dining room.
You pulled your phone out, and sure enough, Jungkook’s name flashed on the screen. Without wasting a second, you picked up the call.
“Love,” you said, your voice faltering just a little.
“Where the hell are you?” His voice was harsh, and instantly your heart started pounding.
You blinked, taken aback by his tone. “I’m at my parents’ house,” you said, trying to keep it calm.
“Then why the hell are you not answering your phone? I’ve been trying to reach you for hours! You didn’t even let me know if you made it there safely!” His words were sharp.
You winced at the force in his voice but tried to explain, “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time—”
“And what the fuck was that story you posted? You’re not at your parents’ house.”
What the fuck?
Your stomach flipped. “What are you talking about? I’m with my parents. You even spoke to my sister, didn’t you?”
“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know what you’re doing. God knows how you and she planned this to make me think you’re at your parents.”
The words hit you like a slap. Your breath caught in your throat.
Then it hit you. Your Instagram story. It was a story you reposted from Mina six hours ago, with Chloe and Henry. It was a photo from last week, but Mina had just posted it, and you thought it was cute enough to share.
“That was from last week, Jungkook,” you said, your voice ice-cold.
“Oh yeah? And how the hell are you gonna prove that? You’ve ignored me all night!” His voice had grown louder, angrier.
“Are you serious?! If I were doing something behind your back, I wouldn’t leave a damn trace!” you snapped, the frustration bubbling over.
“And when have I ever lied to you, huh?!” Your voice shook with anger. “Even when I know you won’t let me go, I still ask permission from you, like I’m some damn kid! I don’t have to do that, but I still do it because I love you!”
There was a pause, thick with tension, and you could hear his harsh breathing on the other end. After a beat, he spoke again, colder than before.
“Prove it. Prove it to me, Y/N.” He said, provoking you.
You could feel your chest tightening, the anger in you rising. “I’m not proving anything to you, Jeon,” you hissed, the words slipping from your mouth before you could stop them.
You hung up without saying anything else, your fingers shaking as you looked at the screen. Leaning against the wall, you took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. The anger was there, but it was the growing unease that made your heart beat faster.
Before you can even process what just happened, your phone starts ringing again. His name flashes on the screen, but you don’t hesitate; you shut it off and shove it into your bag.
Alice steps into the kitchen, her eyes scanning your face with concern. “What was that?” she asks, gently rubbing your back.
You straighten up, hands on your hips, exhaling as you stare at the ceiling. Before you can answer, Alice’s phone buzzes in her hand. She holds it up, showing you the screen. Your stomach twists at the familiar number. Unregistered, but you already know exactly who it is.
“Block him, Alice,” you say, your voice firm. Without hesitation, she does.
“What happened? We heard you arguing with him,” she asks, her voice low.
With your frustration, you pull out a chair at the dining table and sink into it, burying your face in your hands. You take a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering anger. “The audacity to call me a liar,” you mutter.
You’ve always listened to him. Let him have a say in your decisions. Let him decide when and where you can go. Let him tell you what’s best. You’ve given him control over so much of your life, and yet he still finds a reason to doubt you.
How messed up is that?
He didn’t even stop to talk things through. Just jumped straight to accusations. No hesitation, no second-guessing; just straight-up assuming the worst.
And the worst part? It’s your dad’s birthday. Instead of enjoying the night with your family, you’re sitting here, fuming over an argument that never should’ve happened in the first place. Over words, you never thought he’d say.
But maybe… maybe this is your fault too.
If you had just let him know when you arrived. If you had updated him like he always asks. If you hadn’t reposted that stupid story from Mina; one that, to him, made it look like you weren’t where you said you’d be.
And the worst thing? He doesn’t even know you actually did see them that day. It was just a quick visit to Mina’s apartment, barely an hour. Not a big deal. Not something worth mentioning.
Still, even if you messed up, does that really justify him doubting you like this? Assuming the worst without even asking?
You know you’re not perfect, but you also know one thing for sure; you would never do what he’s accusing you of. Not in a million years.
You decided to spend the night at your parents’ house. Even Alice stayed, not wanting to leave you alone with your thoughts. Going back to your place, where silence would only make things worse, wasn’t an option. At least here, you had distractions; family, conversation, anything to keep your mind from spiraling.
Before everything with Jungkook happened, you had planned to catch the earliest trip home so you could make it to work. But after that argument, there was no way. The idea of facing a normal day felt impossible. You sent in a sick leave request instead.
Alice slid a glass of beer toward you, watching as you picked it up. “Are you living with him now?” she asked, her tone casual but laced with curiosity.
You rolled your eyes before taking a sip. “I told you not to bring him up.”
“I’m just asking. You always say you barely sleep at your own place.”
She had a point. And she had also convinced you to drink with her, claiming it’d help lighten your mood. You weren’t exactly feeling up for it, but she was persistent, and since you weren’t going to work tomorrow, so you figured, why not?
“I stay at his place a lot, but I still go home whenever I want.”
Alice snorted. “That’s literally just living together, but with extra steps.”
“It’s not if I still have my own apartment.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She smirked, then grabbed her phone, scrolling for a song. As music filled the space, she glanced at you again. “You know, from what you’ve told me, he seems nice. But still… be careful. No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you never really know them.”
She wasn’t wrong.
It had only been two years since you reconnected with Jungkook. It felt like a long time, but was it enough to really know who he was?
Now that you thought about it, there was a lot you didn’t know.
His job? You knew he dealt with big companies, something about stakeholders, but the details were always vague.
His family? He never talked about them.
His past? Barely mentioned.
Even something as big as whether he planned to stay here or go back to Korea, he never really said. And you never pushed, assuming he’d tell you when he was ready.
But still… you couldn’t help but wonder.
You woke up with a headache; not from drinking too much, just from barely sleeping. You had tossed and turned all night, your thoughts refusing to let you rest. And now, after barely two hours of sleep, you were already awake.
Staying in bed was tempting, but lying there only meant giving your mind more time to replay last night’s argument. So, with a deep sigh, you forced yourself up and headed downstairs for breakfast.
Before you even reached the dining hall, you heard voices—loud, cheerful conversation. Strange. It wasn’t just your family. Maybe some neighbors had stopped by, or a distant relative had come for your dad’s birthday.
But no.
Because sitting at the dining table, grinning like he belonged there, was Jungkook.
Your mom’s face lit up when she saw you. “Y/N, you’re finally awake! Look who’s here!” She gestured for you to sit, her excitement completely unbothered by the fact that you had a massive argument with him just hours ago.
Jungkook met your gaze with a warm smile as if nothing had happened.
“He came early this morning to pick you up for work,” your mom continued. “But Alice told him you were taking the day off.”
Your dad chuckled, clapping Jungkook on the back. “Straight from France, Y/N! We thought you were just making excuses not to bring him over, but here he is!”
Jungkook only laughed at that, completely at ease.
You, on the other hand, said nothing. You were still irritated, but you couldn’t deny the shock of seeing him here. He told you he wouldn’t be back until tonight, yet here he was, casually having breakfast with your family like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And they liked him. A lot.
The conversation kept flowing, and from the way everyone talked to him, it was clear they’d already warmed up to him. This wasn’t exactly how you imagined introducing him to your family, but at least you skipped the awkward “Hey, Mom and Dad, this is my boyfriend” speech.
Alice shot you a knowing smirk. “Alright, we’ll get going and let you two talk,” she said, winking as she stood up.
You shot her a glare, but she only grinned.
They excused themselves, leaving just you and Jungkook in the dining hall.
He sat across from you, a cup of coffee in front of him, while you quietly ate your breakfast, letting him stare. You weren’t in the mood to break the silence first.
“You turned off your phone.” His voice was steady, but there was something behind it. Something tight.
You lifted your head slightly, meeting his gaze. “Obviously.”
“You had me worried.” His expression turned serious, waiting for you to respond. But you didn’t. You let the silence stretch between you, taking another bite of your bread.
Jungkook sighed. “Look, Y/N. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to lash out at you last night. I just... I panicked when you didn’t answer my calls or messages. And then I saw your Instagram story with your friends, and I—”
He reached for your hand resting on the table, his fingers wrapping around yours. His eyes softened, pleading.
Damn it.
He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing slow kisses against your palm, his fingers playing with yours. You stayed quiet, watching him, feeling the warmth of his lips against your skin.
“I know I messed up,” he murmured between kisses. “That’s why I’m here, love. I’m really sorry.”
And just like that, your irritation wavered.
The frustration, the anger, the late-night overthinking. It all started slipping away.
With just a kiss on your palm, your resolve crumbled.
With just the fact that he flew back early to fix things, all the things that had you upset suddenly didn’t feel that heavy anymore.
He slowly let go of your hand, reaching for something beside him. Your breath hitched the moment you saw it, a bouquet of pink carnations, wrapped in soft lime green and peach paper.
Jungkook stood up, moving to sit beside you, placing the bouquet in your hands. You blinked, caught off guard, struggling to find the right words.
“I was supposed to leave later this afternoon,” he admitted, voice low, “but I couldn’t stand leaving things unresolved. And when I couldn’t reach you... I just couldn’t let it happen.”
Being loved by Jeon Jungkook feels damn good.
From the way he puts in effort to how he always finds ways to make you happy. From his care to his unwavering support, being in love with him feels easy; effortless. Of course, you won’t deny that his looks and wealth are nice perks, but those are just extras. What truly matters is how he loves you, how he makes you feel secure in his own way.
So, without hesitation, you let the issue slide.
You never really planned to stay mad at him for long. You just needed a little space, a moment to process everything. But that became impossible the second he flew across countries just to fix things with you. And if you were being honest, the argument happened because you ignored his calls and then reposted Mina’s story without thinking.
You ended up staying at your parents' house until after lunch. Not because you wanted to, but because your parents weren’t ready to let Jungkook go just yet. They really seemed to like him. The way he talked to them so comfortably, how they got his humor, how he charmed them effortlessly. They were practically keeping him hostage with their endless questions and stories.
Not that you based your love life on your parents’ approval, but it was nice to see them get along better than you expected. Jungkook wasn’t hard to like. Maybe back in high school, when he was more reserved, but now? Now, as a grown man with a business mindset, he knew how to win people over.
Well… except for your friends.
To be fair, they barely knew him. Most of their interactions were limited to the quick moments when he’d pick you up after you hung out with them.
Life with him has been good. No major arguments, no real problems. At least, not as long as you kept him updated on your whereabouts. He did the same for you, but you made it a point to let him know what was happening in your life, especially when he wasn’t around.
Because that’s all he really wanted.
For you to check in, to let him know you were okay. You understood that; it was how he made sure you were safe.
But there were moments when you wished he didn’t care so much.
Specifically, when you wanted to hang out with your friends.
That was the only real issue between you. His tendency to limit who you spent time with especially if they weren’t your high school friends.
And when you sensed that pushing too hard would only lead to an argument, you backed down. You let it go.
Because at the end of the day, you knew he just wanted to protect you.
At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
But sometimes, you couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t really make sense.
Hanging out with your friends has always been part of your routine, it’s your way to unwind, to reset. They lift you up in a way no one else can. Of course, Jungkook does too, but it’s different when you’re with them. There’s a freedom to it, a lightness that you don’t get anywhere else.
“Love, please? I can’t miss Chloe’s party. It’s her farewell before she leaves for America.”
You tried to reason with Jungkook, hoping he’d understand. Chloe was chasing her dream, heading off to model for luxury brands, and this was the last time you’d all be together before she left.
“I’m allowing you, but I have to fetch you by midnight. You already know I don’t like it when you sleep somewhere else without me.”
His voice was calm but firm as he drove, one hand resting casually on the wheel. He had just picked you up from work when you decided to bring it up. You figured telling him now would be better than waiting until later.
“Love, this is the last time we’ll all be together. Come on.”
You reached over, resting your hand on his lap as you pleaded softly.
He glanced down for half a second, then back at the road, his expression unreadable.
“I’ve said my conditions, Y/N.”
Final. No room for negotiation.
Frustration simmered inside you. No matter how much you tried to understand him, this part of him never made sense.
Why does he always do this? Why does he insist on controlling when and where you can be with your own friends? People who were in your life long before he was?
You told yourself, again and again, that he was just trying to protect you. But from what?
These were your childhood friends. You had never been in danger with them, not once.
But, like always, you didn’t push. You let him have his way, let him hold the reins like he always did.
The party was at a club, nothing crazy, and afterward, everyone was supposed to crash at a hotel Chloe had booked nearby. She wanted to savor the last moments with you all before she left.
But, as always, you were going to miss out.
“Bye, Y/N. I’ll see you at midnight. I love you.”
He pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling away, walking back to his car, and driving off.
You were irritated, but you swallowed it down, not wanting to ruin the night. This was Chloe’s farewell party, the last time you’d all be together before she left and you weren’t about to let your frustration with Jungkook take over.
The party was packed. Chloe had invited everyone. Her high school circle friends, her college buddies, coworkers, even a few relatives. The energy was buzzing, the music loud, the drinks flowing. It was fun… or at least, it should’ve been. If only Jungkook hadn’t already soured your mood.
You did your best to act normal, plastering on smiles, laughing when expected, but Mina wasn’t buying it. She never did.
“You okay, Y/N?” she asked as you stepped outside with her while she had a smoke. You didn’t smoke, never had, but the fresh air seemed like a good idea.
“Yeah, of course!” you answered a little too enthusiastically.
Mina gave you a look before taking a slow drag of her cigarette.
“That’s the fakest answer I’ve ever heard from you,” she said flatly, exhaling a stream of smoke.
You forced out a laugh.
“Even your laugh sounds fake. Gosh, Y/N. Try harder.”
“Fuck you,” you shot back playfully, nudging her with your shoulder.
She smirked but didn’t drop it. “Seriously, what’s up? You haven’t looked okay since you got here. Did something happen?”
You hesitated. You never talked about your issues with Jungkook to your friends. Hell, you barely talked about him at all. It wasn’t just because they had… opinions about him. You just weren’t the type to discuss your relationship with others. When things got tough, you preferred to handle it on your own.
But tonight, you wanted to tell her. Just this once. Just so someone knew how you really felt.
But the words wouldn’t come.
“Just tired,” you said instead. “Had a lot of work to deal with before I left the office.”
Mina gave you a side-eye, clearly not convinced. “Mmm-hmm. That sucks,” she said, but her tone was laced with suspicion.
A beat passed before she asked, “By the way, how’s Jungkook? You never talk about him.”
That caught you off guard. Was she just curious, or did she sense something?
“He’s doing great. He drove me here. He’ll, uh… pick me up later too,” you say, trying to sound casual, trying to make it seem like no big deal.
But it was a big deal. And somehow, without meaning to, you’d just handed Mina the entire fucking truth without actually saying it.
Her brows shot up. “What the hell do you mean? You’re not coming with us after the party?”
You blink, caught completely off guard. You knew you’d have to break it to them eventually, but you hadn’t figured out how yet. And now, thanks to your own damn words, you were trapped.
“Didn’t we talk about this?” Mina pressed, her voice rising. “You said you were coming. Now you’re telling me Jungkook’s picking you up?”
“I—I mean, yeah, but—”
“He didn’t allow you, did he?”
“It’s not like that. I was supposed to come with you guys after the party, but I just… decided it’s not a good idea considering my state,” you say, blurting out whatever excuse comes to mind without even thinking.
Mina scoffs, raising a brow. “Oh, really? And you also decided it was a good idea not to tell us you’re ditching?”
“No! It’s not like—”
Before you can even finish, Henry walks in.
“Hey, what’s taking you two so long? Chloe’s looking for you. She wants to take a picture,” he says, approaching the both of you.
Neither you nor Mina say a word. But while Henry looks between you two in confusion, Mina keeps her gaze locked on you, practically daring you to explain.
“What’s going on?” Henry finally asks, his eyes flicking between the two of you.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her?” Mina says flatly, tossing her cigarette to the ground and stomping it out.
You ignore the tension tightening around your chest. “Let’s go inside. Chloe’s waiting,” you mumble, turning to leave.
But before you can take five steps, Mina’s voice cuts through the air, laced with sarcasm.
“Make sure to tell her you’re ditching us again after this, yeah?”
“What do you mean?” Henry asks, still completely clueless.
You glance back, trying to come up with something, anything to say, but your throat tightens. Instead of answering, you turn and walk away.
You swallow hard, holding your breath, forcing back the burn in your eyes. You try not to think. Not about Mina, not about the truth she’s circling, not about the weight pressing down on you.
Just breathe. Keep it together.
You’re almost at your seat when Chloe suddenly appears beside you, her bright smile and glassy eyes making it clear she’s a few drinks in.
“Babe! I was looking for you everywhere!” she exclaims, giggling. “Where’s Henry and Mina?”
“They’re outside,” you say quickly, forcing a smile. “They’ll be here in a sec.”
But even in her tipsy state, Chloe picks up on the shift in your energy. Her smile fades, replaced by a concerned frown.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” she asks softly.
The moment the words leave her lips, your eyes start to burn.
Shit.
“I’m okay, Chloe! I just need to go to the restroom for a second,” you rush out, spinning on your heels before she can press any further.
She calls after you, but you don’t stop. You weave through the crowd, head down, feet moving on autopilot. The second you reach the restroom, you lock the door behind you and let everything crash down at once.
It’s harder than you thought.
You want to tell them everything. God, you’re so fucking tired of pretending. But at the same time, you want to protect Jungkook. You know exactly how they’d see him if you told the truth. Maybe they already do. Maybe you’re the one who refuses to acknowledge it.
You press your hands against the sink, staring at yourself in the mirror. The music pounds outside. People are drinking, dancing, and celebrating. And yet, you’re here. Stuck.
You don’t recognize the girl staring back at you.
When did this happen?
How did you get here?
You thought you could handle it—handle the way Jungkook loves you. But now, standing here, wiping at the tears spilling down your cheeks, you realize something you’ve been pushing away for too long.
You’re suffocating.
The sudden knock at the door jolts you back to reality. Panic kicks in. You swipe at your tears, straighten your clothes, and force a deep breath.
“Just a second!” you call out, turning to the sink to splash cold water on your face. The knocking doesn’t stop. It gets louder, harder—urgent. But whoever’s on the other side isn’t saying a word.
Your hands shake as you dry your face. You pull yourself together as best as you can before unlocking the door, bracing yourself.
The second it swings open, you freeze.
Chloe, Mina, and Henry stand there, staring at you.
Chloe steps forward first, her drunken haze from earlier completely gone. “Y/N, what happened?” she asks, concern heavy in her voice.
You open your mouth to answer, but before you can get a word out, Mina moves in. Without warning, she grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom.
“Hey! Mina, careful!” Henry hisses, but she doesn’t let go.
Her grip is tight, but that’s not what stuns you, it’s the fire in her eyes.
The second you’re outside, away from the pounding music and the haze of the bar, she finally releases you. Then she turns, glaring at you with full force.
“No time for bullshit. Tell us what the fuck is going on,” she demands, arms crossed.
“The fuck, Mina? Can you chill?” Henry groans, rubbing his temples.
Mina whips around to face him. “How the fuck am I supposed to chill when she’s doing this again?! We’ve talked about this before, Henry and it’s so fucking obvious she’s doing it on purpose! For what? Her asshole boyfriend?”
“Mina!” Chloe snaps, but Mina doesn’t back down.
“What? Are you really going to sit here and act like this is okay? This is the last night we have together before you leave, Chloe, and she’s pulling this shit again!” Her voice rises in frustration.
You barely register the words. Your chest is tight. Your throat feels like it’s closing up. You don’t even realize the tears are falling until you taste salt on your lips.
“Tell me, Y/N. Are you really sick, or is that just another excuse so you don’t have to come with us? Because you’re so obsessed with your boyfriend that you can’t even spare a single fucking night for your best friend?”
It’s too much.
“I wanted to come, okay?!” The words burst out of you. “I almost begged him to let me stay for just one fucking night, but he wouldn’t let me!”
Your voice cracks, and the tears come faster. You can’t stop them. You don’t even try.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I let this happen! It’s all my fucking fault because I didn’t want to fight with him! I didn’t want him to be disappointed! I didn’t want to make it an issue!”
As the words spill out, the truth crashes into you like a truck. How fucking pathetic. How small you’ve made yourself for him.
Chloe speaks up, her voice soft but steady. “Why would he be disappointed?”
“I don’t know!” you cry out, frustration pouring out of you. “Because he doesn’t want me to, and if I do, it’s a fucking problem! And I just—” Your voice breaks again. You drag your hands through your hair, gripping it hard like you’re trying to hold yourself together.
“I don’t fucking want that, okay? I know you all think I’m stupid as hell right now, but that’s the fucking truth! Call me obsessed, call me whatever the fuck you want, because it’s true!”
Your heart is racing. Your breath is coming in short, sharp gasps.
“I’m so fucking stupid, but I chose this. And I wanted to apologize for ruining this night, for making this about me when it was supposed to be for Chloe.”
Your back hits the cold wall behind you, and you close your eyes, gripping your hair, willing yourself to disappear.
Silence.
No one says a word.
You don’t have to look up to know they’re all staring at you.
Your head is pounding, your heart’s racing, and regret hits you like a brick wall. You didn’t mean to let it all spill out like that, but fuck, you just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Goddamn it.
Your eyes flick down to your wrist. It’s ten minutes to eleven. You don’t have your phone, but you already know what’s waiting for you: missed calls, unread messages, or worse… he’s already here, looking for you.
“I should go. Jungkook’s probably—” your voice is tired, drained.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
You blink, caught off guard. “What?”
“I’m not letting you walk away again. And I’m sure as hell not letting that asshole control your fucking life.” Mina’s voice is sharp, unwavering.
“No. I’ll figure this out, okay? I'll talk to you—”
“Are you seriously letting him take over your whole fucking life?” She looks at you like she doesn’t even recognize you anymore. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Mina, chill.” Henry grips her arm, but his eyes soften when they land on you. “Y/N, listen. We’ll figure this out. We’ll help you.”
“What are you talking about? I can handle this—”
Chloe pulls you in, arms locking around you in a trembling, desperate hug. She holds on like she’s afraid you’ll slip away if she lets go.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” her voice cracks, and your chest tightens. “I’m sorry this is happening to you, and we didn’t even notice.”
The words cut deep, deeper than you expect. And before you can stop them, the tears come rushing back, spilling over like a dam finally breaking.
“We didn’t know… I’m sorry.”
With just one hug, the weight you’ve been carrying shifts. Crushing, yet somehow lighter at the same time.
With just one hug, the exhaustion seeps into your bones, making you realize how much you’ve been running on empty.
With just one hug, it finally sinks in. This isn’t just overwhelming. It’s unbearable.
“We were supposed to be there for you,” Chloe whispers through her own tears. “But where were we?”
And that’s when it hits you. You’re not alone. You don’t have to be. For the first time in a long time, you feel like you can breathe.
But then, regret creeps in.
“What exactly happened?” Henry asks.
You step back from Chloe, swallowing hard. “Nothing really happened.”
“Y/N, please,” Mina sighs, voice weary. “Just stop defending him for once.”
And then, you see him.
A familiar figure standing in the distance, phone in hand, scanning the crowd with a panicked expression.
Jungkook.
The second his eyes land on you, he moves. Fast. Almost running.
Part 1 of 2 It's been a year since I last wrote, and I thought I wouldn’t come back and would just be a casual reader. But here I am, writing again anyway, lmao.
#jungkook au#bts au#jungkook scenarios#bts fanfic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook#bts x y/n#bts x reader#bts x fem!reader#jungkook x you#jungkook smut#dark fiction#dark romance#yandere jungkook#yandere jeon jungkook#yandere bts#bts yandere#jungkook yandere#soft yandere#manipulative jungkook#bts smut#psychological thriller#yandere bts au#bts aus#beneath his love
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Four times Agatha fails at cockwarming (and one time she doesn't)
The Third Attempt
Based on the third part of this brainworm
Word count: 3.6k
Warnings: g!p Agatha, cockwarming, breeding kink, spanking, jealousy, bratty!reader, light degradation, mommy kink
When Agatha comes downstairs in the morning the next weekend, wearing a purple crewneck and gray sweatpants with loose hair, you’re already awake and doing yoga in the living room in nothing but a bra and underwear.
She takes one look at you and snorts, already in tune with the game you’re trying to play. “What happened to wearing clothes while working out?”
You shoot her an impish wink from a tree pose. “Didn’t you hear, mommy? Clothes are so restrictive, especially for yoga. You want to have a full range of motion so you can bend any way you want.” Your voice drops suggestively low and she squints and nods like you’re making perfect sense.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that?”
Shrugging, you put your foot down and shake out your aching limbs. You haven’t done yoga in months, but you just felt in the mood for something different. Absolutely no ulterior motives whatsoever. “I would’ve done it completely naked, but that would’ve been indecent.”
Agatha actually laughs. “You—indecent? Never, honey.” You blow her a kiss as you assume warrior pose and she walks into the kitchen and you hear her pouring herself a cup of coffee.
She walks back in and takes a seat on the couch, slurping from her mug and watching you with scrutinizing eyes.
“Want to join?” you ask, a little out of breath when you finally sit down and bend your knees, pushing the soles of your feet together in the butterfly pose. Coincidentally, also giving her a perfect view of the already-wet gusset of your underwear. Even the mere sight of her is enough to get you turned on.
Agatha shifts on the couch before shaking her head. “I’m good to just watch.”
You smirk and lay on your back, legs bent in the air, and you grip your ankles in the happy baby pose. She chokes on her coffee. “Babe, can you help me for a second? I think I need to get into more of a stretch.”
“It looks good to me,” she says, voice taut, and you have to bite on your lip to stop from laughing before fixing your face into a pleading look.
“Please? I can barely feel anything. And if I can’t feel it, that means I’m not going to make any progress,” you pout. She raises an eyebrow. You both know you’re not trying to progress to anything in yoga and you’re just trying to tease her.
Because even after Agatha fucking you every single day this past week, you’re still insatiable and your need to be a brat will always prevail.
So she sighs and slinks off the couch, crawling over to you on her knees and putting her hands on the underside of your thighs, keeping her body a safe difference from yours. “Is this okay?” she murmurs and gently pushes your legs up more. You notice the pointed effort she’s making to not look down at your covered cunt that is positioned right toward her face.
“I think I need to have a deeper stretch,” you say and yank her closer by the collar of her crewneck. Her hands let go of your legs in surprise and catch herself on the floor, her face above yours and her bulge now positioned right against your pussy. She sucks in air quickly and moves to pull away, but you lock your legs around her back, crossing your ankles. “There we go.”
“I somehow doubt this is proper form,” she rasps, her gaze darting from your eyes to your lips and then back up.
You raise your hips gently and smirk. “What do you mean? Doesn’t it feel good, mommy? This is what yoga’s all about.”
Her jaw clenches and her cock twitches against you. “Oh, yeah? Yoga’s all about being a needy slut?” You gasp, heat tearing through you, and you grind up again before nodding with a grin.
“Exactly.” You peck her lips with yours. “Now it’s time for child’s pose.” You push her off you and she clears her throat before giving her cock a quick stroke through her sweats. You turn over onto your hands and knees, giving her a perfect view of your ass. She sharply inhales and you smirk to yourself before sitting back on your heels and extending your arms out.
It does actually feel really good and you can’t help but wonder how it would feel for Agatha to fuck you like this. You might not have to wait long to find out, judging by how easily affected she is.
“Agatha, can you?” you prompt and she tentatively reaches out to cup your asscheeks with both hands and rock you forward. Her labored breathing echoes through the room. “Not like that. Like, lay on me. It’s the only way you’re really going to be able to help.”
She grumbles something unintelligible, probably about how full of it you are, before you hear her scooch forward and then her weight drapes on top of you. Her loose hair spills down and tickles your cheek and her cock is pushed into the cleft of your ass. You sway your hips from side to side, enjoying the whimper in your ear.
Then you clench your cunt around nothing and she moans—heat spreads through you and pools in your underwear because you didn’t think she’d actually be able to feel it.
“Mommy,” you admonish, just because you want to push her further, “I’m just trying to get a good workout in and you’re trying to distract me by pressing your hard cock against me like that. Now who’s the indecent one?”
You can practically hear her roll her eyes before she growls, “How many times do I have to fuck you speechless before you learn to stop being bratty?”
Chuckling, you rise back to your hands and knees, moving Agatha with you as well, and you feel her cock throb. “Time for cat-cows.”
Before she can ask what that is, you arch your back and look up to the ceiling, pause for a quick breath, and then round your back out, tuck your chin inwards, and look towards your belly button. You repeat the motion over and over, essentially twerking your cunt against her throbbing cock until she grabs onto your hips with a steel-like grip.
“I think you’ve got it from here,” she gasps, pats your ass, and then stands back up. You turn over so you’re sitting on the mat and you watch her limp back over to the couch before starting to look for something.
Your brows furrow as she digs through the pillows before she whirls around to you. Her cock is prominent through her gray pants and you can actually see the outlines of the veins because of how hard she’s straining. Your mouth waters—you want her cock in your mouth right now.
“Have you seen my phone?” Agatha asks, breaking you out of your horny stupor. You shake your head. You’re not even sure you saw her bring it downstairs. “Can you call it?”
Grabbing your phone off the coffee table, you hold down the side button and make eye contact with her, a wicked grin on your face. “Call mommy,” you say.
She scoffs. “Yeah, right, that’s not my contact. You have a job, what if I called—”
“Calling mommy,” Siri says and then there’s a ringing noise from the kitchen. You wink smugly at her stunned face. Obviously you have to be very careful when checking your phone at work and you’ve definitely come close to an embarrassing moment a few times, but this was so worth it.
Agatha swallows before going to get her phone and when she comes back, she’s scrolling on it with a frown.
“Everything okay?” you ask, still on your spot on the ground.
She purses her lips and looks up to you. “You know that annual teacher thing we do?” You nod. Each year, the school Agatha works at does a gala for all the staff—super fancy, great food, even an auction. You’ve gone to the last three of them with her and you always have a fun time for the most part. “I completely forgot it’s tomorrow afternoon. You don’t have to come if you’re busy or working or doing more yoga.”
You laugh sarcastically before standing up and wrapping your arms around your middle and pushing your tits up and together so she gulps. “Will Rio be there?” you ask cautiously and she gives you a stern look.
Rio Vidal is the Biology teacher and you are absolutely convinced she has a crush on your wife. Every gala you’ve been to, Rio has found a way to steal Agatha away from you for at least half an hour and you see the way Rio looks at her.
“Yes, Rio will be there,” Agatha sighs. “And for the last time—”
“What about Wanda?” you interrupt and Agatha’s gaze narrows. Two can play this game and you know exactly the right buttons to push. “You know, the English teacher, the one with the red hair and the green eyes who always wears the most beautiful outfits?”
She nods curtly. “Why do you care if she’ll be there?”
You shrug with a simper and slowly start to sashay over to where she’s standing before perching on the edge of the couch. She arches her brow and you can see the heat in her eyes. “She’s really nice and always keeps me company when you run off with Rio, leaving me all lonely.”
Agatha’s nose flares and the vein in her head twitches. “You need to be careful,” she seethes.
“Or what, mommy? Going to punish me?” You pout mockingly, knowing you have her right where you want her. “Remember what happened the last two times you tried to cockwarm me? I bet if Wanda had a cock, she wouldn’t blow her load before she even got inside me.”
Her growl is animalistic and you think you may have crossed a line before she grabs onto your wrists, pulls you up, and then spins you around and bends you over the side of the couch. “You are such a brat,” she says and roughly spanks you, making you moan loudly.
“Fuck, mommy.”
She slaps your ass again and your hips jerk forward against the couch, your clit pulsing. “Tell me who you belong to,” she demands and you shake your head. You want her to make you say it.
Agatha chuckles dangerously before tracing two fingers up your clothed slit and pushing the soaked fabric into you. You groan and arch your back for just a bit more stimulation.
But then she spanks you again and you jump. “First, you rub yourself all over me while you’re doing yoga like a slut. And then you try to make me jealous? God, you’re really just asking for it, aren’t you, honey?”
You look over your shoulder at her and bite your lip with big, doe eyes: the picture of innocence. “Asking for what?”
She scoffs and runs her tongue against her bottom lip before spanking both asscheeks simultaneously. “Who do you belong to?” Your head drops down with a groan.
“Please, mommy, I need you,” you whine. Another spank. Your cunt is throbbing right now, absolutely aching for her cock. “I need you to fuck me so bad right now.”
Agatha soothes your raw skin. “I know, honey. I’ll give you what you want if you just tell me. Or else, I’ll just have to get creative.”
The promise makes you perk up. Your wife loves to get creative—and it can either be heaven or hell for you. The time she made you ride her while holding a vibrator to your clit until you squirted all over her was one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. Making you wear a vibrator and edging you over ten times in public and then not letting you cum until the next day was tortuous.
“Creative, how?” you ask and she spanks you even rougher than the ones before, making you yelp. Heat has flushed through you and your breathing is heavy—you know you won’t last long no matter what she does.
She hums, rubbing your ass while thinking about it. “Maybe I’ll just tie you to the bed and not touch you for the rest of the day.”
“Why don’t you show me that you can cockwarm me?” you suggest, voice thick with desire. You would do anything to get her inside your empty pussy right now. She spanks you one last time before grabbing you by the scruff of your neck and pulling you up.
“Tell me who you belong to and I will,” she says lowly and you don’t have it in you to resist anymore.
“I’m yours, mommy, I’m all yours—please, I need you so bad,” you pant and she nods in satisfaction before ordering you to get upstairs. Your panties cling to you with every step that you take and her footsteps echo behind you all the way to your bedroom.
You sit on the edge of the bed, chewing on your bottom lip, while Agatha strips off her crewneck, sweatpants, and boxers. Her cock is, no surprise, pointing right at you, hard, red, and leaking precum onto the floor. She gives herself a quick stroke and then freezes—you think she might lose it right then and there, but she doesn’t. You let out a breath of relief. It would’ve been slightly disappointing to have her not even get inside you again.
There’s something about the pressure of cockwarming that really gets to her. Every other time she has no problem fucking you.
Or maybe it’s because of the incessant teasing you give her that has consistently been proceeding it.
“Mommy,” you whine and she snorts before stalking over to you. Agatha stands over you and cups your cheek gently before roughly shoving two fingers into your mouth. You gag around them and she begins to fuck your mouth, her cock twitching and weeping onto your legs.
She pulls out and smears your saliva all over your face before climbing onto the bed and sitting next to you. She nods and you straddle her, your covered cunt finally against her bare cock and you moan at the heat radiating from it.
Agatha’s arms wrap around your back to unclasp your bra and then she slides it down your arms and throws it somewhere in the room. She reaches down to move your underwear to the side and slides her fingers through your wet folds and she tosses her head back when your wetness drips onto her cock.
She rubs your clit but you’re done waiting—you push her down so her back is on the bed and then position your entrance at the tip of her cock before sheathing her inside you in one motion. You say a silent prayer that she doesn’t cum.
You both groan and your eyes close, her cock filling you deliciously. Agatha bucks beneath you, but she doesn’t lose control.
“I’m impressed,” you tease and she thrusts sharply into you before she realizes that it only makes it harder for her too. The stretch is satiating the ache, but you need so much more, so you begin to rock back and forth slowly.
Agatha’s hands shoot out and grab your waist, stilling you. “This is your punishment,” she grits out. “Don’t move.” You pout but obey, the hunger in your cunt coming back with a vengeance. She’s so deep inside you, the tip of her cock resting against your g-spot, and tears prick your eyes with how it feels.
So it’s really not your fault when you can’t help but start to rut occasionally and she whimpers, nails digging into your skin. Her face has turned red, her mouth is open and panting, her eyes are dark and pleading.
“Mommy,” you say slowly and she whimpers. As hard as this is for you, it looks like it’s even worse for her. “Please? Can you please fuck me?”
She shakes her head with a muffled, pained grunt. “Not until you learn your lesson.”
If the lesson is that your wife is less composed than a horny teenager when it comes to you and your cunt, you think it’s safe to say that you’ve learned it. She’s going crazy right now—and all you have to do is turn the tables a little.
“I’m yours, mommy,” you say breathlessly and start to grind. Her eyes go wide and you coax your own nipples to hardness with your fingers. She instinctively thrusts up into you and you moan loudly. Her hair is sprawled out beneath her and she looks like she might cry. “These tits? All yours.” You slide a hand up to trace your lips and then suck on two fingers like she made you do earlier. “This mouth? All yours.”
The muscles in her neck are taut and she’s making even more sounds, especially when you clench around her cock to accentuate your words.
You reach between your bodies and rub your clit. “This cunt? All yours.” You make sure to press your wet fingers against her cock as you roll your hips and she bucks again.
“Honey, honey, please,” Agatha begs, a slight sheen of sweat breaking out on her chest, “you need to stop. Stop moving. Please, I can’t—”
You brush your hand against her nipple and she cuts herself off with a loud groan. “Come on, mommy. It’s okay. You can just give in and fuck me.”
She shakes her head and screws her eyes shut tightly when you lift yourself up and then drop down on her cock. “Honey,” she pleads quietly and she throbs inside you.
Leaning down, you start to pepper kisses along her collarbone and chest. “I know you need to fill me up, right? You need to breed me?”
Agatha whimpers like she’s been wounded and her cock twitches violently. You slowly inch up, feeling her veins drag against every ridge inside you and then you drop down fast and she keens, her back arching off the bed. You’re still very impressed that she hasn’t cum yet and you’re getting close as well.
“Baby, please,” she whispers, hands grappling at your waist to try and hold you still again, but it’s weak and you keep steadily riding her, “this isn’t even cockwarming.”
You muse on that and then stop, opting to just clench around her and she groans. Both of you know that you don’t need to be moving to make her cum. You swirl your tongue around her nipple and tug on it with your teeth and she squirms and breathes louder. “I need you to fill me up, mommy,” you whine and she sobs before bucking up just once. “I need you to breed me. Need you to breed my hot, wet cunt that’s all yours. It was made for you, mommy—I was made for you.”
“Oh, fuck—honey, fuck,” she babbles and her cock swells. A thrill runs through you and you clench involuntarily. “Gonna breed you, mommy’s gonna fill you up, you’re gonna be so full of me.”
Tension builds in your lower back and you decide to give her what she needs. “Cum for me, mommy,” you say hoarsely, rocking your hips and scraping your teeth against her breast and her cock throbs before she lets out a long, guttural cry of relief and you feel her hot seed paint your walls white.
She flips you onto your back so she’s on top and starts thrusting wildly into you through her orgasm, finding your clit and rubbing it while she sucks on your nipple, and you can feel her cum being pumped into you and then leaking out.
“Fuck, mommy,” you whine and she’s getting softer but she doesn’t stop until you cum too, adding to the mix of fluids seeping out of your cunt and onto the bed.
Agatha collapses on top of you, pressing kisses to your sweaty forehead and then she finds your mouth and she tugs on your bottom lip. Your limbs are entangled and both of you are sticky now, but you lay like that for a few minutes, just soaking each other in until she finally sits up and pulls out of you. There’s a gush of cum from your pussy and you weakly hump up against nothing when you watch Agatha’s cock twitch.
“Little Aggie did such a great job making it that long,” you mumble, still slightly delirious from your intense orgasm.
Your wife chokes and looks down, flabbergasted. “What did you just call my cock?”
You giggle. “You don’t like it? I think it’s cute.”
“Little Aggie? She’s not even little,” Agatha scoffs. “And I’d like to point out that if you had actually cockwarmed me correctly instead of moving around and talking, I would’ve lasted even longer.”
“Pfft,” you wave dismissively. “Please, you never stood a chance, you can’t blame that on me. Not my fault you’re too desperate for me.”
She leans in to kiss you, long and slow. “It’s all your fault.”
“You know what?” you ask, breaking away and resting your forehead against hers. “I think I’ll take full responsibility for that. And don’t worry about failing again. There’s always next time.”
Taglist: @lostbutlovely33 @diorrxckstar @whoreforolderfictionalwomen @katekathry @onemansdreamisanothermansdeath @tayasmellsapples @natashashill @mybraininblood @mysticalmoonlight7 @cactuslover2600 @loveem0mo @readysteddiero-nance @lonelyhalfwitch @lesbiantortilla @crescendoofstars @sol-in-wonderland @ahsfan05 @gbab09 @sasheemo @agathaharness @live-laugh-love-lupone @chiar4anna @fuckedupforkhahn @lowlyjelly @sweetmidnights @n3bula-cats @m1vfs @agathascoven1 @loneliestafterparty
#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha x reader#agatha x you#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness smut#agatha smut
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𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ teddy’s notes: “nova” is reader’s hero name! the quirk’s details are not discussed in this chapter but i have a good idea of it and if you wanna know more about reader’s quirk i will make a post about it bc i dunno if future chapters will involve a fitting scene or wtv!!
part 1 here | part 2 here
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mondays were already bad enough. but this? this was a nightmare.
you had barely stepped into your agency when your personal assistant greeted you with a suspiciously delighted expression.
“what,” you said immediately, already sensing trouble.
“nothing,” she said, way too cheerfully for a monday. “you should just… check the news.”
you narrowed your eyes but took the tablet she offered.
the headline alone nearly made you choke on your coffee.
“DYNAMIGHT AND NOVA: PRO-HERO RIVALS OR… LOVERS?!”
oh, for fuck’s sake.
before you could even process that, the attached video started playing—footage from a crime scene yesterday.
you already knew what had happened in that video. bakugou had taken a nasty hit, bleeding from a gash on his leg, and as always, he refused to sit the hell down. in response, you had shoved a hand against his chest to physically stop him from moving.
but of course, the camera angle made it look like something entirely different.
the way your hand was fisted in his suit. the way his face was inches from yours. the intense eye contact, the sharp words exchanged (which, okay, you’d admit, maybe sounded a little too much like unresolved romantic tension in a bad drama).
and the internet had already run wild with it.
you scrolled further. someone had screenshotted the moment and captioned it:
“just kiss already.”
another person had made an edit—dramatic black-and-white filter, romantic music, slow zoom.
somebody else had photoshopped a wedding veil on you.
“you have got to be kidding me,” you muttered, rubbing your temples.
your assistant bit back a laugh. “oh, it gets better. bakugou’s seen it.”
your phone buzzed before you could even respond.
speak of the devil.
you sighed and answered.
“you see this bullshit?” bakugou barked immediately.
“good morning to you too, dynamight,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“the fuck is wrong with people?!” he continued, completely ignoring you. “are they stupid? why the hell would i—”
he cut himself off, too frustrated to even finish the sentence.
“look, I don’t like it either,” you said, sighing. “but it’s not like we can stop people from making up whatever they want.”
“the hell we can’t!”
“so what, you wanna go on national tv and tell everyone you hate me?”
“yes!”
“right,” you deadpanned. “because that wouldn’t make this worse at all.”
bakugou went silent. probably realizing, to his horror, that you were right.
“listen,” you continued, scrolling through more cursed memes. “this’ll blow over in, like, a week. people will find some new drama, and we can both forget this ever happened.”
“tch.” bakugou still sounded pissed, but at least he wasn’t yelling anymore. “whatever. i’m still gonna kill whoever started this.”
“good luck with that,” you muttered.
he grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, then hung up.
you set your phone down with a sigh, only to realize your assistant was still watching you, grinning.
“what now?” you asked, already exhausted.
“nothing,” she said, in a tone that very much meant something.
you glanced back at the tablet. the news site had updated.
“DYNAMIGHT RESPONDS TO RELATIONSHIP RUMORS—‘I’M GONNA KILL WHOEVER STARTED THIS.’”
you closed your eyes.
this was going to be a long week.
#— teddy’s writing shop 𐙚🧸ྀི#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki fluff#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#katsuki bakugo mha#mha x you#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader
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A Flower Among the Rubble
Simon Riley x Reader
Summary: When Simon Riley saves you, a translator caught in chaos, your strength and warmth become his beacon in the darkness.
The military base buzzed with activity.
Soldiers moved with purpose and determination.
You sat in a corner of the command tent, translating between a group of frightened women and a stern officer.
You managed to keep your voice steady despite the chaos around you.
Simon Riley leaned against a nearby post, arms crossed, his skull mask concealing his face but not his sharp, assessing eyes. He watched you, noting the calm precision in your words, the gentle tone you used to reassure the rescued women. You were a stark contrast to the gritty, violent world he knew—a small light in the endless dark.
“Ghost,” Price’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Focus.”
“I’m focused,” Simon replied, his voice gruff, though his gaze flicked back to you. There was something about you that drew him in, something he couldn’t shake. It was a distraction he didn’t need, but couldn’t ignore.
When you finished speaking with the women, you caught Simon’s eyes on you. He straightened as you approached. “Sergeant Riley, right?” you asked, your voice soft but steady.
“Call me Ghost,” he said, his tone clipped. He nodded toward the women. “They holding up?”
“They’re scared, but they’re grateful,” you said. “Thank you for saving them.”
Simon’s eyes softened, though his mask hid the change. “Just doing my job.”
“And yet, it means the world to them.” You offered a small smile, and for a moment, he felt a crack in the armour he’d so carefully constructed.
Over the next few days, you worked closely with the team, translating for the women and helping coordinate their care.
Simon found excuses to linger near you.
He asked about your work, your life, and bit by bit, your conversations grew less formal.
“You always this calm under pressure?” he asked one evening, his voice low as you both stood outside the tent, the cool night air almost making you cold.
“Not always,” you admitted, glancing up at the stars. “But I’ve learned it helps. What about you? You seem... collected.”
He chuckled softly. “Comes with the job. Doesn’t mean it’s true.”
You looked at him then, sensing the vulnerability beneath his words. “Well, you’re doing a good job of fooling everyone.”
His eyes lingered on yours for a moment too long. “Not you, though.”
---
The bond you’d formed was tested when disaster struck.
The women, along with you, were taken during a sudden attack by the mob seeking revenge.
Ghost’s fury was barely contained as he stormed into the command tent, barking orders and demanding answers.
“We’ll get them back,” Price assured him.
“I’m going after her,” Simon growled. His team didn’t argue, they knew better.
The rescue mission was swift but brutal.
Simon moved like a shadow, his precision deadly, his determination unmatched.
When he found you, huddled in a dimly lit room with the others, his heart clenched.
He crouched beside you, his gloved hand brushing your arm.
“You’re safe now,” he murmured, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
You looked up at him, tears pooling in your eyes. “I knew you’d save me.”
Something in his chest tightened.
He helped you to your feet, his arm steadying you as he guided you out.
Back at the base, Simon’s protective instincts didn’t waver.
When the dust settled, he insisted on taking you to his home.
You protested at first, but the look in his eyes silenced you.
---
That evening, as you sat on his worn couch, wrapped in one of his blankets, he sat across from you, his mask finally removed. The scars on his face spoke of battles fought and survived, but his eyes held a softness that surprised you.
“I couldn’t lose you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You didn’t. I’m here.”
He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped tightly. “You’ve been in my head since the moment I saw you. You’re... different. You don’t belong in this mess of a world I live in, but I don’t know how to let you go.”
“You don’t have to,” you said softly. “I don’t want you to.”
The tension between you dissolved as he moved to sit beside you.
His hand found yours, his touch surprisingly gentle. “I’ll protect you. Always.”
“I believe you,” you whispered.
And in that quiet moment, the walls Simon had built around himself crumbled, and for the first time in years, he allowed himself to feel something more than the weight of duty.
With you, he wasn’t just Ghost, he was Simon. And as he leaned over to kiss you, you knew you have found something were special, love.
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
Wattpad
/DO NOT TRANSLATE, STEAL OR REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
#x reader#fanfiction#x female reader#call of duty modern warfare#modern warfare#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost imagine#ghost imagines#ghost fanfic#ghost fanfiction#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley cod#simon riley imagine#simon riley imagines#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley fluff#ghost simon riley#cod ghost#cod
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Possessive & Jealous - Nate Jacobs x Male Reader
Nate doesn't wanna go public with your relationship, but he still gets possessive and jealous when guys flirt with you NOT A YANDERE FIC!! Top!Nate x Bottom!Reader word count: 3.2k Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI
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Nate was pissed. And that's putting it nicely. Nate was fucking seething at what he was watching. The small giggles he could hear, the hand on your shoulder, and that fucking look in your eye; it all just made his anger boil over more and more. The taller man was staring daggers at the scene before him; some loser was really laying it on thick, flirting with what was Nate's. That being you. You belonged to the quarterback, even if no-one actually knew it.
Your conversation with your hot classmate was interrupted by your 'boyfriend'. Nate's rough hand gripping your shoulder with a little more force than necessary; he was clearly trying to make a point. His face was as douche-y as ever, his jaw sharp enough to cut, his eyes seductive, and a barely noticeable smirk on his lips. Few words were exchanged, a small 'hey' and some stupid excuse about needing to talk to you alone - but you could understand the subtext; Nate was pissed, as he so often was. As the two of you walked through the emptying corridors, you studied Nate, in aims to guess what exactly you were in for. You walked behind the taller man, taking in his broad, tall figure; Nate was the star quarterback of your college, it made sense that his shoulders were wide and his back was muscular. His arms were built too, swaying slightly as he walked in front of you, his walk masculine and effortlessly dominant - damn, even though you were already getting annoyed at the man, you couldn't help but be very, very attracted to him.
After what felt like hours of awkward silence, the two of you finally reached wherever Nate wanted to take you. The boy's locker room - dirty as always, but quiet for once, the final bell having rang a good while ago. Immediately, you were backed up against a wall; the cool tiles of the locker room against your skin as you stared up into Nate's dark eyes, waiting for him to say something. The taller man looked you over in silence for a moment, his hands in his pockets and his jaw obviously clenched, his demeanor trying to stay cool; but you know him too well for his act to work on you.
"The fuck you think you're doin' letting that dick woo you 'n shit?" Nate spits out, his tone not obviously angry but rather spiteful
"Huh? He wasn't- Even if he were flirting with me, why's it my responsibility to stop him?" You rebuttal. Nate's jealousy was annoying, but you have to admit that you like it when he gets like this; and you like pushing his buttons even more.
"Probably 'cause you're my fucking... 'cause you're mine." Nate hesitates, anger starting to seep through via the sound of his voice and his actions; his hands darting out from his pockets to make a 'what' gesture.
"Hm hm! You can't even bring yourself to call me your boyfriend! You're the one who wanted whatever this is to never go public, Nate." You say with a chuckle, emphasizing your situation by gesturing circles with your finger. "So don't get all pissy with me 'cause some guy is flirting with someone who is single in everyone's eyes!" You bark back at your boyfriend, your words calculated and shooting to kill.
"Stop being such a bitch, (Y/n)." Nate scowls, his eyes fixated on yours. He's back to his cool and collected self; not a good sign.
"Make. Me." You scowl back.
Without a second thought, Nate had already darted towards you; his hand grabbing your cheeks and forcing your face towards his, Nate's other hand resting on the wall above you in a fist. It was a blur, that's how fast the livid man was moving. Within milliseconds, Nate's lips were crashing against your own; his manly, rough hand squishing your cheeks to force your lips apart in order for him to explore your mouth with his tongue. The quarterback knew you like the back of his hand, his tongue toying with yours in a familiar rhythm, his other hand sliding down the wall to grab your waist; pulling your smaller frame into his massive, built body. Instinctively, your hands slide up Nate's body, feeling up the peaks and valleys of the jock's muscular abs and chest, then settling for gripping one hand in his shirt and another on his buff shoulder as you return the kiss. He must've just finished practice, his shirt damp with sweat and sticking to his bulging muscles. The steamy make-out session seemed to last forever; Nate's lips constantly pushed against your own, and his tongue practically colonizing your mouth. But finally, the brunette broke away from you, his face just an inch away from yours as his rugged and uneven panting bounced off of your lips. Fuck. Nate looked so hot. You kept your eyes locked onto his, looking up at your boyfriend expectantly as you waited for him to make another move. But Nate had other plans.
Abruptly, the close feeling of Nate's sweaty, jacked body on yours was gone - replaced by the cold, humid air of the locker room. You watched as Nate walked over to the shower cubicles, not moving to follow along.
"You fuckin' coming or what?" Nate probes as he turns to face you but keeps walking backwards into the cubicle; his pokerface still in full effect, hiding the scorching anger and possessiveness beneath the surface.
With a roll of your eyes, you follow your boyfriend into the cubicle; shamelessly eyeing his up as he strips his varsity t-shirt off with one hand, his muscles flexing erotically. You follow suit and take off your top, but your hand is halted to a stop by your boyfriend's grip when you reach for your pants. You roll your eyes once more at Nate's childish behaviour but let him do what he wants; resulting in you being backed up once again against the shower door, Nate sliding down your pants and feeling up your thick thighs and ass. The two of you are back to making out, only that this time you're both naked - Nate gripping and kneading your asscheeks like dough, his large, rough hands juxtaposed against the smooth skin of your body. His tongue toyed with yours as small moans escaped your throat and were swallowed by Nate; his ego swelling up subconsciously, knowing that just kissing you is getting those sounds out of you. Wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's thick neck, your breath hitches in your throat at Nate's sudden lifting of your body - his strong arms holding your thighs up, your body squished between the shower cubicle and his buff body, Nate resting you on hip so that he could grind into you as he kept passionately kissing you. Your arms tighten around Nate's neck, peaking down at him as your mouth continues to be dominated by the quarterback; your boner very obviously rubbing up on your boyfriend's six-pack as you let your body be taken over by excitement and lust.
Nate finally breaks the kiss. Forcing his lips away from yours and taking in the sight before him - his hot boyfriend panting like a dog in heat just from kissing him, a string of thick spit connecting your lips you his, and your face flushed light pink while your eyes glaze over lightly with tears and lust. You let out a whine as Nate starts to kiss your neck. Targeting the spots that he knows make your mind go numb, that will make you let out the noises Nate jerks off to. Mewl after whine leaves your lips, quiet but definitely there; the sounds you make and the way you move your head and contort your face, it's all so fucking hot to Nate. You can feel as the well-endowed man goes from gentle grinds of his dick to full on dry-humping you - the feeling of his huge dick poking against your ass, it's one that you're now able to recognize within a second.
"You want this dick? Want me to fuck you right now? Stop being such a little bitch 'n I'll fuck you good, babe" Nate lightly grunts out against your skin as he continues to gently mark you.
"Ha ha... Seems like you want it more than me, sweetheart~" you tease
"You're so fucking difficult" Nate mumbles, making a point to bite your collarbone a little harder
"H-ah! -You fucking love it" you grunt out, the (pleasurable) bite interrupting what was meant to be a quick-witted reply.
After a little more foreplay, Nate's patience had finally worn thin; his dick about to explode from how pent up he was. So once Nate was satisfied with the state of your upper body (that being: your neck, shoulders and nipples being covered in hickeys and bite marks), he made his move. Nate manhandled into somehow only holding you up with one of his arms (holy shit this man is scary strong) and began undoing his pants with his free hand; dropping his draws as quickly yet as effortlessly as he could. With his Calvin Klein's and jeans around his ankle's, Nate slipped a condom on easily and lined his 8 inch monster up to your hole; his tip pressing against your entrance, a feeling all too familiar to the both of you - you two fuck like it's a hobby! With no warning at all, in a jealous attempt at getting you back for being a flirt, Nate thrusted his hips up into yours; his dick forcing all the way inside of you. Thank god that condoms come pre-lubed - 'cause HOLY SHIT THAT HURT. You yelp in pain and instinctively bite your boyfriend's muscular shoulder; stifling your moans of pleasure and trying to distract from the pain. Your eyes immediately flushed red, glazing over with tears as the sting of Nate's girthy, long dick pried your walls apart. Even with the condom on, you could still clearly feel Nate's veins, his dick pushing against your walls so snuggly that without even trying, the man was pressing against your prostate already. Your hands gripped the brunette's biceps harshly, your fingers digging into his skin as you try to register the intense feelings of pain and pleasure combining and co-attacking your brain. But you don't have very long to try and get used to your boyfriend's absolute weapon, 'cause he can only be so nice - thirty seconds of holding back is more than enough! He's still fucking seething mind you! Nate's jealousy is only getting grander, rather than lessening at the feeling of fucking you; he felt even more possessive, even more jealous, like a wild animal resource guarding what his.
Moans escape your throat involuntarily. Groans, pants, and whines getting forced out of your throat from the sheer impact of Nate's hips against your ass. Your legs tighten around your boyfriend's small yet muscular waist, your arms having moved from gripping Nate's arms back to wrapping around his neck; visible scratch marks forming all over the jock's massive, buff back. Nate's one arm is holding you up against the shower cubicle as his other hand is slammed against the door above your head; his fucking massive, rough, sweaty palm against the cold plastic cubicle door being the only thing kind of grounding the sex-crazed version of Nate in the moment. As his dick thrusts in and out of your tight, warm hole, Nate keeps mumbling different mantras to himself; nursing his bruised ego, the only thing he can think about being you with other guys. A carousel of 'mine... all mine, mine, mine' , '(y/n)..' , and 'fuckin' belong t'me' being on loop as your boyfriend fucks you like a mad man. The few moments of silence Nate did have were due to him going back to marking up your body as he continues to fuck you silly. His strong, sharp incisors pressing against your soft neck; sometimes much too harshly.
"Fuck! NATE you're biting too hard!" You shout, pissed off at the man. But your anger doesn't last very long, it can't when your boyfriend's thick dick is assaulting your prostate every other second; sending insane waves of pleasure through your core, and most importantly: your dick.
Your legs dangled on either side of Nate's waist; feet bouncing in rhythm with each one of the quarterback's hard thrusts. You didn't even have to hold yourself up anymore (not that you even could from the fucking you were getting), Nate's arms were able to hold your weight easily, and you were also literally squished up between the wall and Nate's sweaty, ripped body. You could feel Nate getting closer to orgasm, his usual tells showing up like usual; his eyes forcing shut as he focuses on keeping his pace, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, his kisses getting softer and softer, despite his pace getting rougher and rougher. Finally, Nate was pushed over the edge - or more so he was fucking lobbed over the edge from the intensity of his orgasm. The brunette was moaning louder than usual, your name falling off of his tongue more than normal, amongst his usual 'fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck's. You weren't too far behind, between Nate's constant pounding into your prostate and the fucking HOT sight before you, it didn't take you more than a minuet to follow suit and shoot your load onto your chest and Nate's. That man always made you cum untouched. He had the skills but it was mostly the way Nate looked that pushed you over the edge most of the time; c'mon, he always looked so hot fucking you like his life depended on it! And this time it was no different! His muscles gleaming with a sheen of sweat, Nate's arm flexing as he continued to hold himself up, his damp armpit hair showing ever so slightly; he just always looked so fucking manly, Nate really was your ideal guy...
"Haaa... Haa.... See? Don't need dick from any other guy- haaa- so stop being such a tease and fucking stop flirting with other guys" Nate grunted out. His voice rugged, panting as he tried to regain his breath.
"hngggg.... fuck~ I wasn't flirting! I'll tell guys to back off when you tell them that I'm your boyfriend" you retort, your breath still uneven and pleasure still tingling throughout your body.
Nate chuckles and looks into your eyes for a moment. You can tell he's thinking, something he rarely fucking does, but you don't know what thoughts are running through his head exactly. But here's a little snipped:
'Fuck I love him so much... FUCK WHY DO I LOVE HIM'
'He's mine. My boyfriend. Don't give a fuck about what people think'
'Shit... I do care what others think'
'Fuck it.'
'No'
'Yes'
'No'
'YES'
"Fine.. Whatever you want, gorgeous~" Nate mumbles with the smallest smirk, and then leans down to give you a peck on the lips.
You smile back at him, hands gently cupping his face, and whisper a soft 'good'.
Bonus:
Nate's room was like your second home. You were there every other day, either sleeping round or just to hang out for a bit. Contrary to popular belief, your relationship with Nate wasn't all sex! You two did have a pretty wholesome relationship! It's just that you both loved having sex with eachother as well, so most of the time something sexual was bound to happen.
Like any other day, you were in Nate's room. Your hunk of a boyfriend at his desk playing whatever fps he was into at the moment, and you on his bed scrolling mindlessly. Finally having had enough of your phone, you make your way over to Nate, wanting some attention as always. You rest your arms around his neck and hug your boyfriend from behind, head resting against his shoulder as you mumble an 'I'm bored' into his ear. You watch as Nate finishes his round, his long fingers gliding over the controller; why the fuck was it turning you one...?! Once he's put his game away, Nate takes your hand and has you stand between his legs, looking up at you from his gaming chair with a soft, very small smile.
"What's up?" he asks.
Your hands instinctively cup your boyfriend's cheeks. His sharp jaw resting in your palms as he closes his eyes. You admire the man in front of you, his messy hair, his attractive features, but mostly how different he's become since you met him; he's so much kinder, less hurt than he seemed before.
"Just wanted some attention" you mumble, biting your bottom lip ever so slightly as you keep admiring Nate.
"Well... Depends what kind of attention ya want~" Nate teases, his typical horny smirk plastering across his face as his big, manly hands slide up the back of your thighs and reach your ass. Nate gently holds your plump cheeks in his rough hands, gently squeezing as he looks up at you expectantly.
"What did you have in mind, baby?" You playfully respond, knowing that the pet name had an effect on your boyfriend.
Nate pats his lap and gestures for you to sit, which you do. His hands keep cupping your ass as Nate's lips make their way to yours; soft kisses, the kind that really make you feel at ease. Nate slips his fingers under your waistband and slowly slides your shorts and underwear under your cheeks; gripping them softly and spreading them as he continues to softly kiss you. Bringing a hand up to your face, Nate gestures at you to suck on them; doing this by obscenely poking his cheek with his tongue as he smiles with his eyes. You do as your told, too lazy to put up your usual battiness.
After a brief moment of sucking on your boyfriend's two finger's as if they were his cock, Nate takes them out of your mouth and brings them back down to your hole. It's a feeling you're used to; one that you particularly enjoy. Hey! Nate's good with his fingers, what can ya do? As the two of you continue your previous kiss, Nate's fingers slowly push past your rim; your tight hole accepting them with ease. Knuckle deep, Nate reaches your prostate immediately, causing you to break the kiss and let out a small, quiet moan. Nate chuckles as you rest your head on his shoulder, gripping onto his sweatshirt as the quarterback continues to work your prostate to perfection; drawing out muffled moans and whimpers despite your best efforts to hold them in.
Just as things were getting good, your dick twitching against Nate's abs as the man milks your prostate, you hear the door to his room open... Nate's dad walks in, acting like nothing was going on; because he couldn't see Nate's finger's knuckle deep inside of you. All that poor man could see was his son's boyfriend hugging his son in his lap - perfectly normal! Nate tries to play it cool but scrambles to get his dad out of his room as you try not to move; wanting to die the whole time. But as soon as Nate's dad left the room, that delayed orgasm hit you like a brick wall~
#male reader#gay#x male reader#fanfic#light smut#gay smut#nate jacobs#nate jacobs x male reader#nate jacobs x reader#euphoria#euphoria x reader#euphoria x male reader#light angst#toxic relationship#male reader angst#x male reader smut#male reader smut#x bottom male reader#bottom male reader#bottom reader#mlm#male reader imagine#male reader insert#x male reader fluff#male reader fluff
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You loved Joaquin’s hugs.
They were strong, comforting and warmth above all else, they provided you with a sense that everything was going to be okay, even when it seemed as though things were only getting worse then worse with no real positive outcome in sight.
They made you feel as though nothing could get to you while you were in his embrace and made you feel protected, although you guessed that was just merely a reflection on Joaquin himself. A man who would do just about anything to see you smile, to see that you were safe and unscathed from the missions you took on, but also a man who himself was somewhat prone to tackling stronger opponents head on.
The kind of hugs given those days were strong, almost suffocating but in the best kind as Joaquin’s head was buried into your shoulder, his words of concern for you during your mission were thick and evident in more ways then one, for as grip would tighten then relax before tightening again if you were to even move a muscle.
His hugs were even more intense when you did come back hurt and your forced to be stuck with an overly concerned Joaquin, looking over you with worried brown eyes and a almost permanent furrow in his brow as he assessed the damage you had taken.
‘Don’t frown.’ You said to him once, poking his furrowed brows.
‘Why shouldn’t I? You’re hurt!’ He replies.
‘I’m fine, not like I’m dead or dying,’ you told him, still poking his furrowed brows, ‘ so do me a favour and stop furrowing your brows and frowning like you’re attending a funeral, it doesn’t suit you at all Joaquin.’ You finished as you let him hold your hand, squeezing it in reassurance that you’d heal smoothly.
But today you were just in need of a hug for no particular reason other then to just be in his arms and feel okay for once, and this has lead you to where you were, arms opened wide as you asked the beautiful but befuddled and half awake man in front of you an important question;
‘Can I have one of your famous Joaquin hugs?’
Joaquin blinks before he smiles widely. ‘They’re just called hugs.’ He chuckles as he welcomes you into his arms, kissing the top of your head that you had rested on his chest to listen to his soothing and strong heart.
‘Yeah but no one gives hug like you, so that makes them more special than the average hug.’ You said in response, already feeling your head clear of all its worries and fears threat hung over it like a dark storm cloud or a thick fog, you felt your body relax completely again his as the need for sleep -despite getting a good amount of it- began to look like a good idea but only if you were to sleep whilst in Joaquin’s infamous hugs.
‘I appreciate the high praise, especially when it’s coming from you, so I best give you the best Joaquin hug ever then.’ He says softly with a smile as his hold on your tightened and his hands began to rub up and down your back in a manner which only made you sink further into his embrace.
‘The best ever hug you’ve got possible. The strongest dosage.’ You replied as you squeezed his waist as the feelings of safety, security, warmth, reassurance and hope for a better tomorrow began to drape you like a soft warm blanket as his scent only made you recline even further into the possibility of just falling asleep in his arms, content in knowing you were in the arms of the man who you had undivided trust and love towards.
‘You know you can come to me whenever right, for a hug, to talk, anything.’ Joaquin said seriously now as he pressed yet another kiss to your head, resting his chin atop of it afterwards as he hoped he was giving you all that you needed through the hug, wanting nothing more than to have you happy and comfortable to be vulnerable near him wherever and whenever.
‘I know and I want to do the same for you someday,’ you admitted to him, ‘I don’t think it’s fair for you to do all this for me and for me not to do something in return. You deserve it all and more and that still wouldn’t be enough to show just how much I love and appreciate you for being the most kind, strong, loving, heroic and compassionate man I have ever had the honour to meet.’ You finished while giving him some kisses along his jaw, neck and cheeks in hopes of showing him that you deeply appreciated him and everything he’s ever done for you in the past, by hopefully making it up to him in the present.
‘You already do sweetheart, you already do.’ Joaquin reassured you as a smile crept up upon his lips as he remembered all the times you stayed by his side, whether it’d be when he’s hurt and had to take time off to recover before getting back into the field, becoming his own hype man when he had his off days and doing everything to make his life easier; nor could he forget the times where you would whisper sweet nothing to him when you thought he was asleep at night, well he was but he couldn’t help but want to hear what you had to say to beforehand and needless to say he wasn’t disappointed, only uplifted.
#joaquin torres x reader#Joaquin Torres x you#Joaquin Torres imagines#Joaquin Torres imagine#mcu x you#mcu x reader#mcu imagines#mcu imagine#marvel x you#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel imagines
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nobody knows • portgas d. ace
another drabble for sneaky link/ex boyfriend ace bc I have one functioning brain cell and all of it is focused on him atm teehee 🤭
wc: 1.8K
more infidelity (y’all both still AIN’T SHIT 😭 reader got that dog in her I’m sorry), straight porn, modern au, black fem reader, phone sex/sexting, squirting, oral sex, calls reader bitch, a eating + anal, recording, backshots, rough sex, heavy breeding, idk what else will come out
he’s so ooc in this and I don’t give a fuck (I’m ovulating and stressed w life + therapy is too expensive)
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nobody knows why you and ex-boyfriend!ace broke up in the first place. Honestly, it seemed like such a waste…three long years down the drain with nothing to show for it but the two of you left in shambles. Friends and family consoling you both as you learned to navigate life without one another. (Y/N), moving on fairly quickly with the son of one of your dad’s friends..a byproduct of military nepotism and the very antithesis to what Ace was. A stiff working a cushy desk job and reaping the benefits..pushing papers and always playing it safe. He was very kind, sweet and damn near ideal in every sense of the word. Not too much of a drinker, a partygoer or anything of the sort but he always took you on dates. All of your girlfriends liked him well enough, thinking that he more matched your speed than the thrill seeking, goofy, chaotic daredevil that was ex-boyfriend!ace. Who rode motorcycles and climbed mountains in his spare time, when he wasn’t holding life by the tips of his fingers as an EMT. Covered in tattoos, he looked like such a quintessential, stereotypical ‘bad boy’… “God, (y/n). I don’t know what you ever saw in that guy. He’s a loser, through and through.”
However, what nobody knows..is that you never truly left him alone! He was your ideal match and you couldn’t shake it. You could actually laugh, joke and make mistakes with him. There was no need for faux perfection and lies. You saw each other for who you really were.
Nobody knows that while you’re at work, he’s constantly sending you filthy messages to get you aroused and worked up. Making you chew your lip and the tip of your pen as you twirl in your chair..reading how he’s going to make sure you feel it in your stomach the next time you two link. Nobody knows he shamelessly sends you nut videos, uttering your name with the sexiest moans. Nobody knows that when you tell your assistant that the hour where you refuse any meetings is designated for you to choke on ex-boyfriend!ace’s cock in your cute little business attire..loving the way those glasses hang off the tip of your nose as he pushes your forehead to his pelvis.
“Goddamn, babe..I knew I couldn’t quit you..you’re eating my dick up so good.”
“It’d taste even better if you let me come on it first.”
loving that you were willing to abandon all of your morals for him so easily. Nobody knows about the second phone you keep stashed away in your glovebox just to call him late at night when your new man is sleeping or working overnight and you want some company..
“Can you please come over? I miss you..he won’t be back tonight. I promise.”
“Of course, baby. Anything for you..I’ll always come running when you tell me.”
or in need of a good orgasm because that dummy couldn’t give you one if you handed him a roadmap to the clit! With ex-boyfriend!ace on the other line talking you through it with that deep voice and lewd commands.
“Oh my gosh, pretty girl. Did you call me just so you could touch yourself to the sound of my voice? You’re so cute..” making you FaceTime him because he wants to see the mess he helped create.
nobody knows that whilst you're out at dinner with your new man, alongside loved ones as he boasts about how he knows you’re the one and how you guys make such a lovely couple, (y/n) is daydreaming about ex-boyfriend!ace riding you on the back of his Suzuki through the city, knowing the rush gets you turned on. That rather than dealing with an insecure little boy who felt intimidated by your looks and success, ex-boyfriend!ace would go drinking and partying with you, loving when you showed off your body because he wasn't worried about another man taking what was his. Nobody knows that you have a small tattoo of ex-boyfriend!ace’s name right above your private area. Hell, it's not as if your new man touched you enough to notice and when he did, the lights remained off.
When your girlfriends are divulging the dirt about their relationships and how envious they are of you. Claiming that you hit the jackpot with such a structured, well mannered guy who works a high paying job and always comes home to you. But what nobody knows…is that he could never replace the man you truly love. So much so, when you kiss him on the cheek that Friday evening before heading to the ‘airport’ for another business trip..you’re secretly meeting ex-boyfriend!ace in the top floor suite at a luxury hotel hours away from home where you two go every month to fuck each other's brains out for three days straight. Akin to addicts who can’t be satisfied, you rabidly devour one another until your bodies quit.
“I’ve waited all week for this…I’m so not sorry for how I’m about to fuck you.” ”I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Wrapping his hands around your throat, shoving his tongue into your mouth as he corners you against a wall. Nobody knows that ex!boyfriend!ace has you face down on a mattress with your ass up in the air as his tongue explores both of your entrances. Practically seating you on his face to suction around that clit, flicking his tongue in and out of your tight cunt before prodding your asshole, leaving a sloppy trail of saliva on each of them. Because you wore that adorable little heart shaped plug to help prep you for the weekend.
“You taste so fucking good…especially when I know you’ll let me have it anytime I want.”
nobody knows that you’re somewhere gripping the sheets for dear life as ex-boyfriend!ace delivers the most insane backshots you’ve ever felt. Those perfectly round, thick cheeks ricocheting off of his lower half..the contrast in your skin and that pearlescent scream surrounding his shaft making the sight even better…ripping orgasms from your body with no shame because he deserves it. After all, you belong to him.
“That’s right..come on this dick, bitch. Give me what I want..” he still loves and respects you all the same. But ace knows you prefer rough, degrading sex far more than the mundane and vanilla. Especially when it was in short supply with your current situation. Even going as far as to place a foot on your head, tugging your arms behind your back so that he can really bury his cock inside of you.
“Yes! Keep fucking meeee, just like that, daddy. ‘S so good!”
“You love when I dig you out like this, treating you like a little slut..’swear this pussy’s going to get me in some serious trouble one day. But I don’t care, I love you.”
rambling on as he feels you twitching around him for the third time, leaving splatters of warm juices each time; squirting immensely from the constant stimulation to your spot.
“Damn, you’re coming so hard, pretty girl. Is he not fucking you right?” Laughing before he could even get the very rhetorical question from his mouth. Leaning down to place a trail of pecks and licks on your spine to console you before placing you into a prone position. ”Of course not..nobody knows this body better than me. Isn’t that right, gorgeous?” All but confirmed by the way you’re tightening around him..he can’t help but to grip your throat and steal sloppy kisses from you whilst he drills you into the mattress. “Nooo, babyyy. You’re the only one who can fuck me this good..oh my Goddd—“ placing his camera in your face so that he could have it for safekeeping..(and in case he gets wind of your man running his mouth about him again!) Making you call his name and scream it to the heavens. “Aceeee, fuck meeee..”
Nobody knows that you’ve been fucking for damn near an hour while your phone buzzes with missed calls and texts from your boyfriend and whatever little girl he’s deciding to entertain for the moment. As heinous as it was, you were just filling the void and you’d always find your way back to each other. Perhaps it was the thrill of sneaking around that kept this charade going. Either way, you weren’t giving each other for a long time and it’s so obvious why..no one else will do the freaky shit that you both crave so much.
“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re letting me fuck your ass again..feels amazing.” glaring up at him with the most adoring gaze in your eyes and smile on your face as you proudly hold a vibrator to your clit..allowing him to stretch that opposite opening. Practically coming on spot when you began to show your gratitude for this pleasure…
“Thank you, daddy..using all my holes like this. I love it so much.” That much apparent by the tears pouring down your face alongside that toothy grin. Only he could give it to you so good, you begin to cry!
“Oh shit..of course, gorgeous girl. I’d do anything for you..anything to see my baby smile.” Including pinning you down by your throat and letting trails of saliva drip into your mouth. Even feeding you a couple slaps when you all but pleaded with him to treat you like an object.
nobody knows that on the sparse occasions when you have sex with your current man, he’s forced to wear a condom because you’ve discussed several times that you don’t want children and you’re not taking any risks. But ex-boyfriend!ace gets the privilege of feeling that hard cock sliding in and out of you raw..and to breed you as many times as he can muster! Letting load after load spill into your aching womb. Filling every hole with that dripping seed.
“You look so pretty stuffed with my cum, sweetheart. Just how I like it.”
nobody knows why you left ex-boyfriend!ace in the first place but you knew why you’d always come running back!
@violetxxvenom @shamelesshoefairy @lwop-kpop
#cherry’s works ✦⭒#black fem reader#portgas d ace#portgas ace x reader#portgas d ace x black reader#ace x black reader#one piece#one piece x black!reader#one piece x reader#one piece x black reader#black reader#portgas ace x y/n#portgas ace x you#portgas ace smut#one piece modern au#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut#op smut#ace headcanons#fire fist ace#op headcanons#ace drabble#one piece drabble#cw toxic relationship#cw infidelity#cw cheating#ex boyfriend ace is my new religion goodbye#cw smut#this is pure filth I’m so sorry 😭#hope y’all like it though
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When Grian enters the doorway of Scar’s base, he finds the man digging around in his chests, mumbling to himself. It’s a sight he’s walked in on multiple times before in the past, a scene that settles in Grian’s chest and leaves a sense of domesticity blanketing him. He watches for a few moments, if only to exist in the same space as the man he’s so terribly missed. Everyone had been gathered at spawn for the grand reveal of the object that’d allow for them to keep their inventories, and Grian had been so focused on it that he didn’t have the opportunity to give Scar a proper hello.
Hence why when the group split off to prep themselves for what will most certainly be a grueling fight with the ender dragon, Grian’s first stop is Scar. He himself doesn’t need to do that much prepping, already loaded with food, a water bucket, and a bow. He’s got a few potions on hand as well.
So in the doorway he stands, watching Scar with a pleased smile. His wings twitch behind him, wanting to wrap the man up in warm feathers and drag him back to his nest for some long overdue snuggles. Later, he reminds his bird brain. Instead, he allows himself a soft trill, the sound instantly making Scar pause in his movements.
Lifting his head up and turning around, forest green meets chocolate brown, and Scar’s face breaks out into a wide grin. “I was beginning to wonder if I’d get a little visit from my favorite bird,” he muses, prompting Grian to enter his base.
“Sorry for the wait then,” Grian returns, coming over to him. He checks Scar over, nodding in approval when he sees him fully decked out in diamond armor. If they had more time he might’ve been able to help Scar with enchantments, if only to keep him a bit more protected. But this is just as good—certainly an upgrade from the iron helmet.
Fully aware of Grian’s staring, Scar’s grin turns into a sly smirk. “Like what you see?” he hums, flexing an arm.
Grian laughs at him, moving to brush his hands over the shoulders of Scar’s chest plate. “It’s adequate.” It’s his turn to grin as he revives the old joke, earning a pout from Scar.
“Never gonna let me live that down, huh?” Scar murmurs, chuckling. “Should I shine it then? Make it really sparkle,” the vex hums in thought.
Pretending to think about it, Grian tilts his head. “Hm, it’s already plenty shiny. Any shinier and I might get distracted during the fight.” His hands drop down to Scar’s chest, remaining there.
Scar looks at him, still pouting. “You mean the handsome man wearing the armor won’t distract you?” There’s almost an edge of a whine in his voice as he replies, one that amuses Grian greatly.
“Oh he will,” he returns, wings curling around them, keeping them both in a feathery shield. “It’s been a while since he’s been around to distract me.” There’s a twinge of raw honesty in what Grian says, the ache of yearning sitting in his chest as he looks up at Scar.
A warm palm settles against Grian’s cheek, thumb running over his skin. Scar’s expression softens, eyes filling with the same yearning, the same depth of affection. “I guess we’ll be even then,” he speaks quietly, “because there’s a certain pretty bird that happens to be very distracting for me.”
Grian preens, a pleased coo sounding from him. He leans up to bump their noses together, pressing his forehead right against Scar’s. Scar chuckles, his other arm finding a place around his waist to pull Grian in closer. “We’re both going to end up being late to meet back up with the others,” Grian idly points out, although he makes no effort to pull away or move.
“I think making them wait an extra minute or two won’t hurt.” Scar smiles devilishly in that way of his that makes Grian huff. “Besides, you were the one who came to see me! Didn’t even give me the chance to pop in on you.” He’s teasing. “Did you miss me that much, G?”
Yes. “No,” Grian denies, “I wanted to make sure you had proper gear.”
Scar hums, though he doesn’t appear to believe Grian’s little fib a single bit. “‘course I do! I had a whole stack of diamonds just sitting around collecting dust.” He gives Grian’s waist a loving squeeze. “It’s a miracle I didn’t die while trying to make this armor.”
Grian laughs at that with a fond shake of his head. “There’s still time,” he jokes, earning a beautiful laugh from the man, one that makes his heart soar. His hand tangles itself in Scar’s hair to tug him down, and Scar is more than happy to follow through. Their lips press together in a warm kiss, one they’ve both been waiting for since Grian stood in his doorway. Grian’s body relaxes at the feeling of Scar’s lips on his own, moving in a rhythm that leaks with affection and longing. Scar is warm and soft but still so familiar and comforting; for a moment Grian thinks that all of the frustration of this world might’ve been worth it if he got to kiss Scar like this. It feels like waking up together, like crafting side by side, like falling against one another after a long exhausting day.
It feels like home.
A muffled bird noise spills from Grian’s throat, probably one of contentment that makes Scar laugh against his lips.
“I missed you too, G,” Scar sweetly confesses, pulling back just enough to look at him. Their breaths mix together, foreheads still touching.
Knowing that he never bothered to hide his true reason for coming to Scar, Grian looks up at him with a pout. “Next time you decide to take an extended mining trip, I’m coming with you,” he decides, because weeks without Scar while surrounded by endless sources of frustration was, simply put, hell. Having the rest of his flock nearby made it a little bit easier, but it did little to lessen the yearning. “The nest was too cold,” Grian quietly admits, voice just slightly above a whisper.
If possible, Scar’s expression only softens further, and he’s kissing Grian again. “Well we can’t have a cold nest, can we?” he hums, looking at Grian with a smile. “It’s against avian law, after all!”
Grian snorts with laughter, moving to pull Scar into a hug. “I don’t think the Poe Poe would be very happy about you breaking avian law.”
Scar tucks Grian against him, pressing his lips to the avian’s head. “A cold nest is more than enough to make me a wanted criminal!” he cries.
“Guess the only way to fix that is a warm nest and morning cuddles.”
“An amayzin’ idea there, G.”
“Oi!” Joel sticks his head into the doorway of Scar’s base. His sudden appearance startles the two, making Grian’s feathers fluff up when he looks over at Joel. “Quit your snogging and let’s go fight the dragon already!” he exclaims, impatience lacing his words. Turning around, he calls out, “You owe me five diamonds Jim!”
Jimmy yells something in reply, but Grian doesn’t care to hear it. He looks back at Scar, who’s snickering. “Guess that’s our cue.”
Scar wildly grins, “Let’s go show this dragon who’s boss.”
#mochi writes#scarian#hermitshipping#impossible smp#impossible smp spoilers#I don’t know how to tag this one whoops#anyways hi I just watched grian’s finale#I’m soooooo chill about everything that happened#my boys came home <3#so naturally I had to write a fluffy drabble
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𝙄 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝘽𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨 // 𝙎.𝙍
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Summary: “Tell me what you’d like for us to do together.” — or the one where Spencer finds in himself his first serious relationship and must navigate intimacy for the first time too.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader (she/her)
Word count: 14.2k
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI ♡ Virgin!Spencer, dry humping, Spencer cums in his pants bc why not, fingering (f! receiving), some insecurities and sex used as a coping mechanism is mentioned but otherwise very fluffy.
A/N: Happy (belated) Valentine! Set in the same universe as THIS, so go read that first if you want to know more about how they met and their dynamic. English is not my first language and please tell me what you think? That's all for now ♡
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The early morning light seeped through the heavy curtains—thick and dark, softening the edges of the dawn—yet still, the light found its way, spilling in through the gaps, casting pale, golden shadows across the unmade bed. You stirred beneath the weight of the blanket, tangled around your bare legs, drifting in that fragile space between slumber and waking. The air was cold—the kind of raw, unrelenting cold only January could bring—lingering in the room, palpable even beneath the warmth of the sheets.
Sheets. They were Spencer’s dark green sheets.
You stretched, finally waking up. The room was filled with nothing but the low hum of the radiator and the audible breaths from the man beside you. The world outside is still asleep. Soon, car engines would rumble to life, footsteps would slap against wet pavement, and the sky would brighten into daylight. But for now, your tired eyes had nothing else to focus on but his steady breathing.
You shifted onto your side, the mattress dipping slightly beneath your weight. Spencer was lying there, still soundly asleep. His hair was a mess as it fell over his forehead, lips parted with the slow rhythm of his breath. Your heart did a… thing—an erratic, fluttering thing that Spencer would probably have a precise physiological explanation for. To you, it was just nerve-wracking. You wanted to reach out, to brush the hair from his face, to trace the line of his jaw, to simply exist closer. Alas, a small space remained between you, as if you’d drifted apart in the night. Cuddling wasn’t off-limits, but whatever was unfolding between you two was still new.
So new that it was scary for you both.
New in the sense that touches didn’t come instinctively, that words didn’t fall from your lips without second-guessing yourself—that every. single. advance. felt like a make-or-break moment.
Like—whoops—you kissed him too hard, too long, and now he was going to think that all you wanted was to sleep with him.
You didn’t. Or you did, but it wasn’t why you liked him.
You liked that he was smart, that he could ramble on for hours just like you could—except he usually made more sense. You liked that he was sensitive, that it felt like you could tell him anything (even though you never did). You liked that he was observant, that he noticed the small things most people overlooked. Like how he’d bring you dinner from your favorite restaurant during your evening shifts at the library. How he’d carry your bag on the way home because bringing work home with you meant lugging around a fuck-ton of books. How he knew you liked honey in your tea but couldn’t stand when it was substituted with sugar. The little things.
That he was stupidly attractive and that you had raging hormones inside of you truly came second to all of that.
Right on cue, Spencer’s eyes fluttered open, pulling you from your train of thought. With tired movements, he stirred around in bed, finally finding you to look at.
Your heart clenched at the sight of him.
“Your hair is getting long, Spence,” you mumbled, your voice gruff from not having spoken yet today.
Spencer’s lips pressed together in a small, sleepy frown as he blinked at you in slow, uncoordinated intervals. His hand moved from underneath the blanket to softly tug backwards at the hair that hung before his eyes.
He’d gone from being terrified of you seeing him shirtless to almost always sleeping without wearing anything on his upper body. You heard yourself sigh at the view of his exposed neck and collarbones as the covers slipped down. His skin looked so soft. You knew that it was. Yet it wasn’t just yours to touch. You didn’t dare to.
Flipping onto your stomach, you smushed your face into the pillow, breathing in the scent of the laundry detergent he used. A simple, clean, and understated scent that went up your nostrils and clouded your brain like it was a fucking drug.
You saw in your periphery how Spencer rested his hand next to your face on the mattress, casually with his palm flat against it. It almost tickled in your fingers, wanting to reach out and touch him.
A sound slipped from him, something between a sigh and a groan, low and strained. He shifted, but not closer. His hand twitched against the mattress, fingers flexing once before going still. Freezing, almost.
Your brows furrowed. “Why do you look so uncomfortable?”
“No, uhm—”
You pushed up slightly, watching his expression. “Spencer, is something wrong?”
“Stop talking, please,” he muttered, eyes squeezed shut.
You blinked at his sudden plea, concern creeping in just as he bolted upright, sheets falling from his body and landing messily on the bed again.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” he announced.
You propped yourself up on your elbows, brows drawing together. “That’s all?”
Spencer didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his hand shot out, grabbing his pillow with a clumsy sort of urgency. He held it in front of himself, almost like a shield.
Your gaze flickered between him and the pillow, realization hitting like a slow burn. “You’re taking your pillow to the bathroom—oh!”
Heat flooded your face as the truth settled. A grin threatened to pull at your lips, but you bit down on it, trying to keep your expression neutral. Spencer’s back went impossibly straighter, his grip on the pillow tightening like it had betrayed him. You fought the urge to tease him. His entire body radiated embarrassment, his cheeks a deep shade of red, and for all the things Spencer was—brilliant, logical, analytical—he was also so deeply, painfully shy about certain things.
Morning wood was a normal phenomenon. You knew that Spencer knew that. In a weird way, you felt a sense of pride because of it. It had happened while he was sleeping next to you. Sure, it was an involuntary response many times. But Spencer had also literally asked you to stop talking because you affected him. Didn’t make it any less mortifying for him, though.
“Spencer, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” you said gently.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he all but rushed into the bathroom, shutting the door with a sharp, definitive click.
You exhaled a quiet chuckle, shaking your head, falling back onto the mattress. “Did you just lock the door?”
From inside the bathroom, you could hear rattling. His voice came, muffled but unmistakably miserable. “Can we please forget that this ever happened?”
“I mean, yeah we could do that. Orwe could talk about it like adults.”
Silence.
Your lips formed into a grin.
“Are you at least taking care of it in there?”
More silence.
Then, finally, a defeated, “I’m—I’m gonna wait it out.”
You couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled up, rolling onto your side to cuddle back into the covers. “Suit yourself.”
A few minutes passed before the door creaked open again. Spencer hesitated in the hallway outside his bedroom, looking both exhausted and like he wanted to disappear. His face was still a little pink, his hair a mess from sleep and, presumably, from pressing his forehead against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. The pillow was no longer needed as a shield. No imprint could be seen through the flannel of his pajama pants, because of course, you looked.
You tilted your head, your smile softening. “Over now?”
“I need to get to work,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “But we’ll talk about it later, okay?”
You sat up fully, resting against the headboard, watching as he moved toward his dresser, already reaching for a change of clothes. “You’ll get a case and be gone for a week,” you pointed out. “I know how this works.”
His hands stilled for a moment.
“So,” you continued, “can I talk while you get ready?”
Spencer hesitated, then gave a slow nod. He kept his focus on his dresser as he changed out his sleepwear for his everyday attire.
You took a breath. “I know that we’ve… experienced different things—”
“I haven’t experienced anything,” Spencer cut you off.
“You made out with Lila Archer in a pool. That’s something.”
He huffed, throwing you a look over his shoulder.
“Okay. Low blow. I’m sorry for that.”
One drunken night out with the team (well, sober for you and Spencer), and you had found out so many things about Spencer that he probably would’ve never told you himself.
You sort of knew to not make fun of him because of his lack of experience, but you also had this thing where your brain just said the first thing it could think of in every goddamned situation. It got you in trouble, but in this case it almost felt necessary to show him how casual a conversation about intimacy could be.
You kicked the covers off of your legs and sat on the edge of the bed before you continued talking. “We’ve lived different lives, done different things, but if we want to figure us out together, then we have to talk about the sexual stuff too—”
“But I don’t know how,” Spencer pointed out, walking around the room to face you, standing so close but not close enough. A few inches forward and his legs would be touching yours.
You sighed. “I’m not saying we do it all right now. I guess I’m more asking how you feel about it. If you can explain it without running off to hide the next time you wake up with a boner?”
Spencer’s face twisted at your direct use of words, and you could easily spot it. All for being casual… when your crude words might actually do more harm than good.
He sat down next to you, still half-dressed with a button-up shirt undone and his tie in a tight grip in his hand.
“I don’t take opportunities,” he simply stated.
You frowned in confusion. “Yeah, you do.”
He hadn’t reached his level of success without recognizing opportunities and pursuing them. His intellect alone wouldn’t have guaranteed anything. He had to view the world as something to learn from, to make something good or at least knowledgeable from it, which he had in your eyes.
“No,” he corrected, turning slightly. “I mean, like social ones. I don’t put myself out there. And now I’m a grown man with no experience. That feels wrong.”
“Wrong in what way?”
Spencer’s jaw clenched as he swallowed, his gaze dropping to where your hands rested in your lap. He exhaled, his fingers curling against his palm. “It feels like I should’ve just gotten drunk in college and gotten it over with.”
A surprised snort came from you before you could stop it. “Spencer, you were a child when you went to college.”
He huffed out a quiet laugh. “Yeah,” he admitted, “the first time.”
You shook your head, smile lingering. “Well, you still shouldn’t have done anything you weren’t comfortable with. And if you aren’t comfortable now either, that’s fine. But please, talk to me about it before you push me away.”
Spencer’s fingers flexed once before he reached for your hand, threading his fingers through yours. You liked when he was the one to initiate contact because that meant you weren’t crossing any of his boundaries.
“I don’t want to push you away. I’ve just never felt this way before,” he murmured, voice hesitant. His grip on your hand tightened slightly. “And it scares me. Honestly. But the idea of never moving past this, of never trying for something more… that scares me even more.”
You squeezed his hand in return.
“Okay. That’s good for me to know. We can work with that.”
You hadn’t realized how tense the mood was until you saw Spencer visibly relax at your words, his shoulders slouching down as he let go of your hand to start buttoning his shirt.
“I guess I should get ready too,” you murmured.
Before your legs could even hit the floor, Spencer’s palm pressed against your bare thigh, his touch gentle but firm, halting you in place.
“You know you don’t have to leave just because I am,” he said. His gaze, soft and lingering, traced over your face. “You’re allowed to stay. Sleep some more. You’re working the night shift, right?”
You hummed in confirmation, only focused on the warmth from his hand spreading through to your skin, creating a ball of fire in your stomach. Your little sleep shorts did nothing to cover the skin he was touching. He probably wasn’t even aware of how he was affecting you, seeing the contact as simply innocent.
“Mhm, so stay,” he urged. “There’s stuff in the fridge to make breakfast.”
Spencer shifted, scanning the dimly lit room until he spotted his bag on the floor. Leaning over the side of the bed, he rummaged through it before pulling out his keys. With a small jingle, he dangled them in front of you.
“I’ll leave you my home keys. Lock when you leave and throw them in my mail slot.”
Your fingers closed around them, the metal cool against your palm. He had a little keychain with the Las Vegas welcome sign. That the sweetest man you’d ever met was from Sin City was still a juxtaposition you almost couldn’t believe.
“Spence?”
He tilted his head, looking at you musingly.
You smiled, your fingers treading to tug lightly on the sleeve of his shirt.
“Kiss me before you go.”
For a second, he just sat there.
Then, slowly, the bed dipped as he braced himself against the mattress, his palm planting next to your waist. His nose brushed yours, and the warmth of his breath ghosted against your lips. There was a pause—a heartbeat—before he closed the space between you.
He kissed you, soft and hesitant at first.
If you asked Spencer, he probably knew the exact amount of kisses you’d shared. Or he could at least calculate some sort of estimated number. You just knew that it was still a new, almost paralyzing feeling for you. You couldn’t even begin to fathom the nerves that he was feeling.
But when you kissed him back with more intent, when your fingers curled lightly into the fabric of his shirt, you felt it. The way he melted, just a little.
When he pulled back, his forehead lingered against yours, breath unsteady.
Neither of you spoke. You didn’t need to.
Then, with a reluctant sigh, he straightened, stepping back to finish getting ready. You crawled back beneath the covers, letting your head hit the pillow once again.
You watched him with quiet amusement as he pulled on a sweater, smoothing it down with precise, almost methodical movements. His hands moved quickly—buttoning his cuffs, slipping on his watch—but there was an unspoken hesitation in the air, something that made him pause every so often.
“You’re staring,” you pointed out.
He huffed a small breath through his nose, shaking his head as he picked up his bag. “I’m… acknowledging.”
You raised a brow. “Acknowledging what?”
Spencer didn’t answer. He simply smiled and swung the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder, adjusting it absently before making his way to the front door. Just as his fingers curled around the handle, he hesitated.
And then, slowly, he turned back.
You were still in his bed, tangled in the sheets, looking entirely at home. He almost wanted to laugh at how it made him feel, seeing your bare foot stick out or how your hair was a little messy from sleep.
Spencer wished he understood why his heart did a… thing every time he looked at you. The thing, where it felt like it was doing somersaults around in his ribcage.
He swallowed, forcing himself to speak. “I don’t do this,” he admitted. “I don’t casually wake up with someone and… feel okay about leaving.”
You smiled, smushing your cheek against the pillow. “You’re not leaving. You’re going to work.”
“You don’t mind me rushing out?”
“I love having a big bed all to myself. Go to work, genius. I’m a phone call away.”
Spencer’s grip on his bedroom door tightened before he finally turned to leave. He stepped into the hallway but couldn’t help himself—one last glance. One last look at you in his bed, at the imprint he had left beside you, at the way you had settled into his space so effortlessly.
As he walked to the train station, a pep in his step, he had the time to reflect on what had actually happened this morning and how it was something that he had never actually experienced before.
Someone else seeing him aroused.
And his stupid inability to talk about sex. Well, he’d had to do it for a few different cases. But that was objective facts about the human psyche and sexuality as a concept. This was as subjective as it could be. It was literally about his own… penis.
His inability to have sex was an even worse subject for him to think about. Inability was maybe the wrong word. Was it more about how he hadn’t wanted to?
You were right, though. He hadn’t seen the point in doing it in college, not because he was emotionless and only focused on his studies and career, but because if he had done it, it wouldn’t have been meaningful. He needed sex to be meaningful to serve the purpose he felt like it would have in his life.
It’d be pointless for him to have pointless sex. That was clear, and still true.
But then you’d stormed into his life with your unapologetic way of being—your sharp wit and easy laughter. You had your own layers he had yet to peel back, but it didn’t scare him as much as it did excite him to know you that way. You, with your warmth and your patience, with the way you made him feel wanted without expectation, like he wasn’t some puzzle missing too many pieces to be worth solving.
And you were the furthest thing from pointless to him. Intimacy with you didn’t feel like something to analyze or rationalize. It felt like something to want.
Life felt futile without a sense of contribution, without the feeling that his experiences grew with him rather than passing by like scenery outside the window of a bus. The people around him changed, but he remained the same as he had been at age fifteen—only more rugged, more worn-out, and with a face that now bore the knowledge of what Dilaudid did to the body. He couldn’t let that stay the same anymore. He had to learn to see it differently.
Fuck, he needed to figure this out.
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
Spencer turned off the engine as he parked, letting the windshield wipers go one more time to take away the last lingering raindrops. It was late in the evening, and the streetlights reflected gold through the windows. He sent you a quick text that he had arrived before stepping out of his car. The cool February air hit him as he adjusted his scarf, his own breath fogging up his glasses that he had to wear when he drove.
He scanned the street for the house number in the address you had texted him, spotting it quickly. The building itself was a modest townhouse. A little worn down but full of character, with overgrown and leafless rosebushes lining the front of it. The windows of your friend’s apartment glowed warmly against the night, the silhouettes of moving figures behind sheer curtains. He could hear muffled voices, occasional bursts of laughter, and the faint notes of an indie song playing scratchily from a speaker. He recognized it as something you’d listen to, but nothing more distinct than that.
He hesitated near the entrance, slowly walking up the stairs to the front door, taking in the view showing through the curtains.
Girls' night. Spencer was no stranger to the concept. He and Morgan had been turned down plenty of times when they’d tried to tag along with the women of the BAU after work. He’d also seen them the next day—giggly, whispering, exchanging knowing looks about whatever had happened. He wondered if you’d be the same. Would you come back all giggly, or did girls' night mean something different depending on the group? He didn’t know your friends, after all.
A second later, the door swung open, and there you were—stepping out into the night, huddled in your coat. You didn’t notice him right away, busy adjusting your bag over your shoulder as you waved something off behind you, closing the door with a thud.
Something being one of your friends that Spencer could just about see a sliver of.
Turning around, he watched as you almost got scared of his presence, not expecting him to be standing so close. You lifted your hands to your face in mild shock, and Spencer couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.
“Red?” he asked, tilting his head in mild curiosity.
Your nails. Newly painted a bright red color. So painting nails was part of girls’ night. For weeks after you started seeing each other, Spencer had quietly wondered how your nails were always so perfectly done. He now knew that one of your friends was training to be a nail technician and would gladly accept anyone whose fingers she could practice on.
You glanced down at your hands as if just remembering them. “For Valentine’s Day,” you replied matter-of-factly.
Spencer hummed, taking the opportunity to hold one of your hands in his own. Was he supposed to ask you to be his Valentine? Before he could respond with anything more, the muffled sound of laughter and movement from behind the door stopped him in his tracks. And he watched you shift uncomfortably because of it.
“Can we walk to the car, now?” you asked, almost dragging him down the entrance stairs, your eyes flickering between the door and where his car was parked.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” he croaked out, almost immediately clocking what he thought was embarrassment from your side. Down the stairs, he gripped your hand stronger, making you unable to walk further. “Do you not want your friends to see me?”
The way you instantly turned to face him, eyes wide with disbelief, made something tighten in his chest.
“You really think that?” you asked, voice soft, a little breathless, like the idea alone was absurd. “Spencer, no—it’s the opposite, really.”
He blinked, lips parting slightly, but before he could ask what that meant, you sighed and pointed with your free hand up to the apartment again. “My friends are standing in the window trying to get a look at you.”
Looking up, the sheer curtains betrayed them. All of them huddled close to the window to see… well, what were they supposed to see?
“I’ll get a text in approximately 30 seconds where they will guesstimate the size of your penis and how you are in bed.”
You deadpanned the words. Spencer would never understand how you did it. It didn’t faze you in the slightest, as you moved to get your phone from your coat pocket.
Spencer choked. “What? But we’ve never—”
Sure enough, your phone buzzed with a new text message. He didn’t get another word in before you read it out loud.
“Grower, not a shower. 4 inches soft. Probably kinky in a subtle way, like he’ll tie your hands up while asking about your day.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, adjusting his glasses like that would somehow hide the way his flustered blush was spreading up all the way to his ears. He barely managed to form a coherent thought, let alone a response.
Instead, his brain short-circuited, flashing between two equally mortifying thoughts: (1) The fact that your friends—people he had never even spoken to—were speculating about his sex life. And (2), the fact that you were standing here, repeating it all so casually, without any indication that it embarrassed you in the slightest.
Did they really think that? Did you?
And worse—could they be right?
Because, if he was being honest, Spencer had thought about it. A lot. Maybe more than was healthy. He thought about the way it would feel, the sound you would make. The way he imagined your body to look naked was some sort of fictional image burned into his mind like some old TV screen. Would he like to tie you up? Would that hurt your wrists?
He had thought about it so much that the idea of it actually happening made him feel like his entire body would shut down.
And that was the problem, wasn’t it?
He was scared that you were so special to him, and that he could never be special enough to you. Because you’d done it all before. Even your friends knew that. To the point where they expected it from you—that your sexual endeavors were common enough that they became a casual topic of conversation. Spencer believed that Morgan might faint if he told him that he’d been thinking of having sex with you, like obsessively thinking. If it did happen, you’d always be special to him. Hell, even if it never happened, you were special enough to probably linger in his mind for decades. To you, it was possible for him to just be another number. A notch in your bedpost. Not that you’d ever describe it like that. He knew that. But still, the premise remained.
“See?” you said, nudging him lightly, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts. “We should’ve started walking when I said it because now you’re all embarrassed.”
“I’m not—” he started, but faltered, because clearly, he was. “Could they really guess all that from just looking at me?”
“I don’t know, you’re the profiler,” you pointed out, trying to drag him closer to the car again, but Spencer stayed rooted. “They’re mostly doing it to mess with me because I refused to share any gossip with them tonight.”
“Is that what girls’ night means? You just sit around and gossip?” he wondered out loud.
You snorted, shaking your head. “Oh, like you don’t know the ins and outs of Morgan’s love life?”
“That’s different,” he argued immediately. “I never ask to know anything, but he tells me anyway.”
You shot him a pointed look. “And you listen.”
He opened his mouth to counter, but quickly shut it again because, well… you had a point. Instead, he huffed, looking down at the sidewalk as he let you make your way to the car.
After a beat of silence, he glanced over at you, still holding your hand in his. “But really, do I look like I would… act like that?”
The hesitation in his tone made you pause, turning your head to take him in properly. He wasn’t just flustered anymore—he was genuinely unsure because he had never even considered how people perceived him in a… sexual manner.
You exhaled, tilting your head at him. “I don’t know what you want me to say—that you practically have a sign on your forehead saying virgin? Would that be better?”
“No, no,” he said quickly. “I just…” He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know how to talk about this.”
Your expression softened. “I know that, which is why I wanted us to go immediately.”
He opened his mouth, grasping for something to say that would make him feel like he had some semblance of control over the situation. “You didn’t have to read that text out loud.”
“It’s impossible to lie to you. You know that.”
By the time you both reached the car, Spencer rushed ahead, opening the passenger door for you. It was instinct, something he did without thinking. But when he turned back to see you watching him, something flickered in your expression.
“I should learn how to talk about it, though.” He cleared his throat. “That’d be useful for when it eventually happens.”
He watched you smile as he said it. He hinted at it actually happening. That it was something he wanted.
“We don’t have to hurry,” you assured as you slid into your seat.
Spencer swallowed hard, moving around to the driver’s side. He slipped into his seat, hands gripping the wheel, eyes stubbornly focused straight ahead as he started driving. He could feel your gaze on him, patient but knowing.
You knew him. Even after quite a short time. He couldn’t exactly remember the date on which he first saw you at the library. But it had been 36 days since your first kiss on New Year’s Eve. And you knew him.
He didn’t have to hide a single part of himself from you. Because you seemed to like them all. Or, at least, understand them all. From the shy little boy who was too smart for his own good, seeing his mother get sick and his father turn absent—to the messy adult version of him who had struggled with addiction and closeness in any sort of relationship. You understood them all, though the layers. And you liked some of them to the point where it made you visibly affected. And you protected him in ways that he protected himself too.
Spencer could only hope to get to know you well enough to understand all versions of you. That you’d let him in, even to your darkest corners. Because he liked you so much it hurt, and felt protective over you in a way that wasn’t even comparable to the most helpless of victims he’d encountered.
“Don’t do that thing with your tongue.”
That startled him enough to glance at you. “What thing?”
“Poking the inside of your cheek with it and looking all smug.”
Spencer blinked, confused. He hadn’t even realized that he was doing anything, completely lost in his own head. “Is it disturbing for you?”
“No, it’s distracting. You look hot.”
“Oh.” He blinked, clearly not expecting that answer. “S-should I drive to your place or mine?”
Smooth segue, Spencer. Really smooth.
“You’re assuming we’re spending the night together? Awfully presumptuous, Spence,” you said, placing a hand on your chest to mimic being offended.
Spencer tried to keep his face straight, forcing a serious answer from you.
“Drive to your place, it’s bigger.”
“But I’ve never even seen your apartment,” he argued.
“For good reason,” you muttered. “It’s messy.”
“I do not care.”
“Fine, my place it is,” you sighed, telling him where to drive. “But if you’re mean about it, I’m kicking you out.”
Spencer only nodded.
He saw you relax into your seat after that, turning the heat down in the car, humming along quietly to whatever was playing the radio. Spencer thought about how he could easily get used to having you next to him, especially in simple moments like this. Picking you up, or coming home from work and seeing you in his space. Or maybe him being in your space. It almost clouded his brain, the easy domesticity. He had to remind himself that he was driving a couple of times.
And then he thought of it. A joke, really. He could do that sometimes—think of something to say in conversations long after they had ended. Usually it was to save himself from remembering something embarrassing or unfitting that he’d actually said, but this time, he just wanted to make you laugh.
“It’s more like 5 inches soft, by the way.”
“Excuse me?”
You squealed, leaning forward while also staring at him with eyes wide open. Your hand gripped the car door, and Spencer was momentarily scared your nails would scratch the interior.
He grinned, acting unbothered. “Just thought I’d let you know.”
You exhaled sharply, your hand still gripping the door, trying (and failing) at holding back a giggle. “I’ll deflower you right in this car if you want to.”
Spencer felt the color drain from his face at the sound of your words. He couldn’t beat you at your own game. That game being dropping the most sexually charged remarks in casual conversation.
“No?” you teased. “Then stop with the dirty talk.”
This was going to be a very long short drive.
.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
On Valentine’s Day, Spencer found himself at the train station after coming home from a difficult case in Detroit. It had been such a long and simultaneously hurried process that he hadn’t even realized that they were coming back home on Valentine’s Day. Garcia’s homemade pink cupcakes waiting for them at the office had refreshed his mind.
So, now he stood at the train station in D.C., unsure of whether to go home, to the library, or to your apartment. Mostly he worried about you picking up his phone call, pacing the platform with his phone pressed against his ear. Or maybe he was worried you wouldn’t pick up at all. Your shift had just ended. You should be able to answer. He really should’ve asked you to be his Valentine instead of waiting until the 14th to even think about it, or what if you found it all to be capitalist bullshit anyway—
“Hi Spence! How’s Michigan?”
Your happy voice coming through the speaker in his phone halted his spiraling thoughts.
“Hi—Uhm, I’m actually home, or at the station. We could wrap up early and not have to spend another night.”
“Well, that’s good, I guess. Successful case?” you wondered, breathing heavily. He could picture you walking around the library with quick steps, which was what you were doing by the sound of it.
“Curiosity killed the cat,” Spencer answered. He’d noticed that you were often too curious for your own good. Every time he could tell you details from a case, you regretted it afterwards, not actually wanting to know such gruesome things. “Why does it sound like you’ve just run a marathon?”
You let out a breathless laugh. “We had a bunch of arts and crafts for the kids today, and they made a whole mess. Glue, glitter, paper scraps everywhere. And I swear, once kids figure out how to use scissors, they think they’re unstoppable.”
A faint smile tugged at Spencer’s lips as he imagined it. You were so good with the kids coming to the activities organized by the library.
“Sounds chaotic.”
“Oh, it was,” you confirmed. “Somehow, a three-year-old managed to glue his own sleeve to the table, which, honestly, is kind of impressive.”
Spencer chuckled, rubbing at his temple. “Remind me again why you do this voluntarily?”
“Because it’s cute,” you shot back. “And because somebody has to make sure kids don’t leave libraries thinking they’re just boring old book storage units.”
His smile widened, but before he could respond, you hesitated.
“So, uhm…” you started.
Spencer picked up on it immediately. “You’re running late?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
He glanced at the clock. He hadn’t even made it home yet, and he already knew you were going to exhaust yourself staying behind to clean up. “You know, we don’t have to—”
“But I’ll tell you what,” you interrupted, voice decisive. “Since you’re on my side of town, why don’t you go to my place, and then I’ll show up when I’m done cleaning up?”
Spencer hesitated. He still wasn’t entirely used to the casual intimacy of something as simple as waiting for you at your place. But then again, this—the way you made space for him so effortlessly—was exactly why it had never felt overwhelming.
You didn’t press him for an answer, just kept going, voice slightly distracted like you were already multitasking. “I’ll tell my neighbor to leave my extra set of keys under my doormat right now.”
Spencer nodded before realizing you couldn’t see him. “That’d be great,” he said instead. “I’ll see you later.”
There was a pause, just long enough for him to picture you—probably still standing in the middle of the library, hands on your hips, surveying the mess before sighing and getting back to work.
Then, softer, “Mhm. Buh-bye, Spence.”
The call ended with a quiet click, and for a long moment, Spencer just stood there, staring at his phone.
Being in your apartment alone? Yeah, no. That was weird.
* * *
Spencer arrived at your building just as the streetlights flickered on, the city settling into early evening. A bouquet of tulips in his hand, clenched in a tight grip as he made his way up to your level. They were a mixture of red, white, and orange tulips.
He remembered Garcia once going on a rant about how no woman had red roses as her favorite flower and that men only gave them as gifts as custom and because they hadn’t cared enough to get to know the woman’s actual favorite flower.
At his quick stop at a flower shop, Spencer had cursed himself for never asking about your favorite flower. But he at least knew he couldn’t buy roses. If not for you, then for the sake of Garcia not being disappointed in him.
So tulips it was. They were a symbol of affection, after all. He’d read about their symbolism stemming from the Persian tale of Farhad and Shirin. A tragic love story not too far from mirroring Romeo and Juliet. And the colors—red was for love, white was for honesty, and orange was for understanding. Spencer wasn’t sure if he’d tell you all of that. Maybe if you asked. But it was still a nice thought for him to know that his gift had a meaning as is, beyond his intention.
He rounded the corner to your door, only to pause when he spotted an older woman standing by it, hands clasped in front of her as if she had been waiting for him. Her hair was a soft gray, pulled back into a bun, and she wore a thick cardigan. Kind eyes appraised him from behind gold-rimmed glasses, and when her gaze dropped to the flowers, her lips twitched in approval.
“Tulips?” she mused. “Good choice.”
Spencer blinked, caught slightly off guard. “Oh—uh, thank you?”
Her smile deepened knowingly. “You must be Spencer.”
“I am, yes.”
She gave a small nod, then reached into her cardigan pocket, pulling out a keyring. “I’m Edith, the neighbor with her keys,” she explained simply. “She asked me to leave them under the doormat, but I figured I’d wait and hand them off in person.”
“Oh, right! Thank you,” Spencer said, taking them carefully from her outstretched hand.
The woman didn’t step away immediately. Instead, she studied him for a long moment, eyes twinkling with something he couldn’t quite place. And then, in a softer voice, she added, “I know it’s not my place to pry, but be kind to her.”
Spencer’s brow furrowed slightly. “Of course,” he said quickly.
The neighbor hummed, satisfied but not entirely done.
“You’re very welcome to take care of that girl,” she said gently. “Because I don’t think anyone else does.”
It wasn’t pity in her voice. It wasn’t sadness, either. It was just an observation, simple and steady, spoken by someone who had been watching quietly from the sidelines, possibly for a long time.
He swallowed, fingers curling slightly around the keys in his palm, not having the time to overthink what she’d said.
“I will.”
The woman nodded once before turning to walk up the stairs, heading back to her own apartment.
Spencer watched her go, then turned back to your door.
He let himself inside, stepping into your space. Spencer had adored your apartment ever since the first time you had him over, that time he’d picked you up from girls’ night.
It was a small space, crowded with your things. You’d moved in fresh out of high school. It was something about not being able to wait any longer to get out of your mother’s house. Then you’d stayed in the same apartment all through college and when you started working at the library.
And yes, it was messy. But you were a bit of a mess yourself, so it only made sense. It wasn’t unclean in any way, but you placed things around you without any rhyme or reason. You were still able to find everything, though. Spencer had noticed that quite quickly, observing you in your own space. While he’d lounged in the bed after one of your now very casual sleepovers, he’d seen you find your sweater hung on the kitchen door and your favorite tea mug on the bathroom sink.
There wasn’t a pattern. He had a pattern for most things in his own apartment. But this made sense to you.
Spencer dropped your keys in a bowl on a table in your entryway. He didn’t want to feel any responsibility over them. It was weird enough to be alone in your space.
The apartment was eerily quiet as he kicked off his shoes and took a seat on your couch, the tulips placed on your coffee table. He’d wait for you to put them in water, not wanting to go through your kitchen cabinets looking for a vase.
He thought he could read for a while or maybe turn on the TV. But he didn’t end up doing anything. He mostly looked around the room, twiddling with his fingers as his eyes lingered on your bookshelf and on the artwork you had decided to hang on the wall.
The blanket draped over the couch, was it handmade? The coasters on your coffee table, were they souvenirs? The Polaroid pictures blu-tacked to your bedroom door, who were they off?
Spencer could spend hours asking you questions, he thought. He’d find your reasonings interesting even if they weren’t.
If it had gone ten minutes or an hour when you barged in through the door with the loudest sigh he’d ever heard, Spencer couldn’t answer. You didn’t even say hi when you saw him sitting on your couch, you just dropped your coat to the floor and smiled, taking in the sight.
“Tulips?” you exclaimed, dropping your bag on the floor too the second you noticed the bouquet lying on the coffee table. Toeing off your Converse on the way over, you looked at him, eyes wide with excitement. “I freaking love tulips!”
Spencer shifted where he sat, lips curving into a small smile. “I hoped so.”
“But why? For Valentine’s day?”
His face warmed, and he hummed in acknowledgment as you picked up the flowers, inhaling their scent.
Spencer watched as you busied yourself placing them in a vase of water, moving around the kitchen like it was second nature. He was about to tell you to leave them in their wrapping to soak for an hour before cutting the stems, but you seemed to already know that. It was supposed to make them last longer. You loved tulips enough to know that. Spencer saw that as a positive indication.
“I totally didn’t plan anything special for today,” you admitted, walking back into the living room and placing the flowers back on the table. “Did you want us to do something?”
“Not really,” he answered. “I just got home from a case, and you have acrylic paint on your shirt. Safe to assume we’re both too tired to go out?”
You glanced down at your stained crewneck and groaned. “Ugh. Yeah. That tracks.”
Your next move shouldn’t have surprised Spencer as much as it did.
Standing in front of him, you lifted the sweater over your head, the shirt you had on underneath rising with it slightly. The skin of your stomach exposed to him, but what he focused on was how your belt cinched at your waist and how your slacks basically fitted like a second skin before they flared out at the legs.
“How do you get them to fit so well?” he asked before thinking.
With your head peeking out from the sweater as you tugged it off, hair getting messy in the process, you raised your eyebrows in amusement. “Spencer, are you staring at my ass?”
His mouth opened, then closed again. He had definitely been looking.
You only laughed, shaking your head. “I tailor them myself.”
Spencer exhaled, grateful for the shift in conversation. “That makes sense,” he mumbled. “They look nice.”
You walked off to your bedroom, throwing the stained sweatshirt into your hamper of dirty laundry like you were the next big thing in the NBA.
By the sound of it, you were changing out of your clothes completely. If Spencer had stretched his neck, he might’ve been able to see it through the door. But he didn’t. It didn’t feel appropriate even though he suspected that you left the door wide open on purpose.
You tiptoed back into the living room wearing shorts and a big t-shirt, your bare feet barely making a sound across the old wooden floors. Spencer should be used to seeing you look so casual, but he was unsure if he ever would be.
“I got you that book you were looking for, by the way. Someone returned it today,” you started to say as you bent over to rummage through your bag. “And uh… this,” you hesitated, handing him not only the book but also a bright pink slip of paper. “A very insistent little girl told me I had to make my own.”
You’d made a Valentine’s card. For him. You’d made it for him. Holding the pink paper in his hands, Spencer’s heart squeezed at the sight—messy crayon doodles, slightly uneven letters spelling out Happy Valentine’s Day. It was simple, kind of ridiculous, and absolutely perfect.
He couldn’t get a word out, simply staring at it.
You plopped down on the couch beside him, sprawling out with ease, moving pillows and blankets around. At first, you bent your knees to not touch him, but then on instinct you moved them to be in Spencer’s lap as he got the book and card out of the way.
Your toes matched the red nail polish on your fingers. He hadn’t noticed that before.
“Why did you want it, anyway? Didn’t think it was your kind of poetry,” you asked, not bothered by his lack of reaction to the card.
Although, maybe his silence was enough for you to see through him like glass. He’d never gotten a Valentine’s Day gift before. Garcia got everyone cupcakes, sure, but he’d never received one with romantic intentions.
“It isn’t. But you read it and seemed to enjoy it.” Spencer straightened, finally finding something to say. Answering questions was something he could manage. “Also, the poem about being a vacuum cleaner seemed too odd to ignore.”
You’d mentioned it once at the library. The second time you talked to each other. He’d been reading a book on Nobel Prize winners, and you’d approached him, offering him tea and questioning him about his job. A John Cooper Clarke poetry collection in your lap. There was something about a poem and a vacuum cleaner. He remembered thinking that he had to read it, no matter how stupid it sounded.
You snorted. “Yeah, it’s… weirdly moving.”
Spencer placed the card on the coffee table, patting it with his palm like it meant something. He’d have to save it. Put it on his fridge or make a shoebox of memories with you.
He then started going through the book. It was muscle memory for him. If he had a book in his hands, he would read it immediately.
The poetry was so simple, it only would’ve taken him minutes to finish the entire thing. But once he read a line out loud to you, seeing a happy and content smile, he knew he couldn’t hurry through it. So, he read it to you instead.
The couch was just big enough for the two of you—him sitting upright against the armrest, and you sprawled across the cushions with your feet in his lap, half-buried under a blanket. With nervous fingers, he’d started to trace absentminded patterns on your shin.
The air smelled faintly of old books and lavender, your signature candle flickering softly on the coffee table next to the tulips. Every now and then, Spencer would pause between stanzas, glancing over at you like he was gauging your reaction. Most of the time you interrupted him yourself, feeling the need to question something.
“I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust.”
You blinked at the ceiling. “What does that even mean?”
“I think it’s a metaphor.”
“For what? Codependency?”
“Or devotion,” Spencer theorized.
“I wanna be your Ford Cortina, I will never rust.”
You squinted. “Is that a reliable car?”
“Pretty sure they’re not. Must be irony,” he answered.
The next interruption wasn’t your doing. You felt the shift before you saw it—his gaze lingering, the gentle press of his fingers against your shin turning more intentional.
“What?” you asked out of curiosity. “Did I miss a spot when I shaved or something?”
“No, uhm…” He ran his thumb lightly over a faint line near your knee. “Is this a scar or a birthmark?”
“Scar, I think.” You twisted slightly to glance down. “Might be from when I tried to pick up skateboarding.”
Spencer’s lips quirked. Yeah, that sounded about right.
“Does it look gross?” you asked.
He couldn’t fathom a scar looking gross. Not when it was healed. Because if he thought that about someone else’s scars, what would they think about his?
“I’m not one to speak when it comes to scars,” he mumbled, hesitant.
“I think yours are kinda badass, from stuff you’ve lived through,” you reassured him, a light sparking in your eyes.
“Skateboarding is cool,” Spencer tried to argue.
“I never even managed to stand on the board,” you muttered, a smile shining through. “I have another scar on my ribs from scratching my entire side on the sidewalk.”
He had momentarily forgotten about the book. His focus was only on the skin his fingertips traced and how the scar made a little indent from where it had been scratched open.
“Can I see it?” Spencer asked without thinking.
“Not without, like, flashing you my boobs,” you answered plainly.
Spencer’s fingers abruptly stopped moving as he first thought he hadn’t heard you right. Then he realized that he had asked to see a scar on your ribs. And your ribs were close to your breasts. That was how the human body was shaped.
“Oh—” His brain seemed to stutter, like a skipping record. “Would that…?”
“You don’t think it’d be a bad idea?” You sat up from your lying position, taking the book in your hands as you bent your legs over his lap. “I could do it. It’s not crossing any boundaries for me. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You don’t make me uncomfortable,” he murmured.
You smiled back, shifting so you could press a soft kiss to the side of his jaw. He tensed slightly beneath you—not in rejection, but in that way he always did when he wasn’t sure what to do.
“Good,” you whispered.
For a second, you just looked at him. He could sense that you were trying to read his reaction. He wasn’t sure he had a reaction. Or at least one that was reasonable.
Tucking your lower lip between your teeth, a small sigh escaped you. Spencer only briefly had time to wonder if you were disappointed, but your attention turned back to the book, a finger tracing the page to find the next line of the poem.
“If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot.”
You snorted. “Okay, now he’s just saying words.”
Spencer cleared his throat, trying to concentrate on something other than the fact that you basically wanted to be shirtless in front of him.
“Isn’t that the point of writing? Putting words together?”
“Smartass.” You scrunched your nose at him.
He let his eyes linger on the page for a while before he read the next words. He didn’t realize their meaning until they left his mouth.
“You call the shots, I wanna be yours.”
You were so close to him. He could hear your breaths, feel them if he focused. The bare skin of your legs touching his covered ones, a burning sensation through the fabric. It was like his ears started ringing by how quickly his heart was beating. He could only wonder if yours was beating even half as fast.
Spencer wasn’t avoiding eye contact—not exactly—but he was looking at you like he was working through a puzzle, like he was waiting for the right words to magically fall into place before saying them.
“I have to start thinking rationally about this,” he murmured, almost to himself.
You furrowed your brows. “This meaning sex?”
“I guess…” He hesitated, his lips pressing together. “It’s about you, in general.”
“And by that, you mean?”
“It’s biology,” he stated, the beginning of a ramble. “Attraction is a chemical process driven by neurotransmitters. It releases dopamine and oxytocin that are associated with the feelings of reward and attachment. The limbic system is highly active in people experiencing romantic attraction. Essentially, the brain treats attraction like an addiction, reinforcing behavior that leads to emotional and physical closeness.”
You tilted your head. “So… that’s what’s happening here? Biology?”
Spencer let out a breath that was almost a laugh. “It is. That’s why you make me incapable of thinking straight and why I get so nervous. I have to realize that it’s biology even though it feels like fiction to me. Does that even make sense?”
“Nope.”
“Great. Well—”
“Spencer.” You sat up fully this time, your legs folding beneath you as you shifted to face him, placing the book on the table with a thud. “There is nothing rational about love.”
Love. You’d used the word love.
He wanted to continue explaining, but he wasn’t sure he wanted it to make sense. Maybe you were right. Even though there was a scientific explanation for everything he was feeling, there was also a reason as to why people turned to fictional stories when they searched the matters of love. The feelings were allowed to be so irrational that they felt impossible.
“And that’s not me confessing my love for you, by the way. That’s kind of early, but we’re en route to love, right? Neither of us is in this only for sex?” you continued talking, your hand reaching out to hold his.
Spencer heard himself laugh. It would be the shittiest sex-only relationship ever, because, well, you weren’t having sex. But then he nodded, agreeing with you—you were in too deep to call it casual.
“Morgan called you my girlfriend today, and I didn’t even try to correct him. I used to always do that,” he said, something hesitant in the way he admitted it because he was still trying to make sense of it himself.
With an assertive move, you grabbed his hand. “Good. We’re on the same page.”
Spencer looked down at your joined hands before glancing back up at you. He swallowed. “I’m your…”
“You’re my boyfriend,” you confirmed, and the way his lips parted slightly, like he was tasting the word, made you squeeze his hand again.
“I’m your boyfriend.”
You nodded, smiling. “Yeah. And don’t overthink it, okay? We can just… be.”
You said it so simply. Easiest thing in the world. Spencer wanted to believe it was. His mind couldn’t accept it so easily, though. It worked overtime in general, but he wasn’t sure he had ever thought so much about the same thing. Being in a relationship, having a girlfriend, sex. He almost wished he could preoccupy his mind with other things, some difficult chess strategy or some foreign literature. But no. It was all you up there.
And what did you think about it? He didn’t know.
Spencer cleared his throat, saying, “I’m not sure I’ve asked you how you feel about all of this.”
“How do I feel about sex?”
You made a little confused face, and Spencer nodded as an answer, letting the room go quiet as you thought of what to say. You fiddled with the fringe of a blanket with your free hand, the other still holding Spencer’s.
“I think…” you exhaled. “I think you respect me more than I respect myself.”
Spencer found it miraculous that you were able to keep eye contact with him even though the smallest of tears formed on your waterline.
“What’s it been? Over a month? And you haven’t seen me naked,” you continued, almost a surprised tone in your voice.
45 days. It had been 45 days. He had to force himself to not say it out loud.
“You haven’t asked, or just… done. Nothing. I’m not sure I know how to react to that. I feel like I should have to throw myself at you to make you like me, but you’re not like that.”
“I like you just as you are,” Spencer whispered, unsure if it was the right moment for him to speak.
“I know that, but it’s new for me. I haven’t done all this with someone who actually cares before,” you said, voice sounding like you were constricting the words.
Your grip around his fingers tightened, and Spencer found himself rubbing circles on the back of your hand with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t dare to reach up and touch your face, but he wanted to.
Your lip noticeably quivered as you continued, “I haven’t always… valued intimacy the way I should have. And I haven’t exactly been with men who saw beauty in being with me instead of just lust.
It was strange, the way those words made his chest ache.
You’d mentioned it before—when he admitted he was a virgin, you’d said something about finding it a little amusing that someone could go so long without sex, especially when it had been a coping mechanism for you. He assumed that meant earlier in your life, but truth be told, he didn’t really know.
Spencer thought back to what Edith had said in the hallway. She’d said that no one had been taking care of you. That didn’t necessarily mean you’d been alone, just that you hadn’t always surrounded yourself with the best people.
And yet, looking at you now, he couldn’t see it. You made it look effortless—being warm, being kind, holding him close like it was second nature. How you were so well put together that no one would ever even notice things you’d been through unless you told them. And you didn’t tell anyone.
He struggled to picture it—the same girl who had made him a handmade Valentine’s card, who curled up against him on the couch like she belonged there, had also been the girl who once used to stumble home drunk or high, clinging to some guy whose name would be forgotten in the morning. The thought alone made his stomach twist. Someone having their way with you and your mind having convinced you that you didn’t have a choice—thinking that you were so desperate to be liked that you didn’t even mind if it was only for a moment.
It didn’t fit. You didn’t fit with that image.
Or maybe you did, and he just didn’t know it yet. There was still so much to learn about you, so much you hadn’t yet shared.
Spencer watched as you almost turned on yourself, his silence becoming too much for you to deal with. It hadn’t been his intention to make you uncomfortable, or to make your words seem even heavier than they were because of his lack of reaction.
“You’re not too good at talking about this either, are you? About what you want?” he wondered, keeping his eyes on you, trying to convey that his silence wasn’t judgment. It was attention.
A soft huff of laughter escaped you. “No, I guess I’m not.” You paused for a moment before adding, “But I like taking it slow. It makes it feel… different. Special, like it never has before.”
His chest tightened. Like it never has before.
He didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know how to put into words the way it made him feel—some odd mixture of relief and sadness. He wished he didn’t, but it was relief he felt when he realized that while everything of this was new to him, some aspects were also new to you. The blind leading the blind in a way.
“I’m sort of scared of being too much for you,” you murmured. “Or for everyone, really.”
Spencer inhaled sharply, shaking his head almost instantly. “But you’re not—”
“And you don’t think you’re ever going to be enough, do you?” you interrupted, watching as the words hit him like a direct shot to the chest.
His lips parted, but no sound came out. He blinked at you, caught off guard, his fingers tightening around yours like he needed something to hold onto. It wasn’t a question. Not really. It was an observation. A fact. One he couldn’t even bring himself to deny. He felt inadequate in every sense when it came to intimacy.
You reached up, brushing your fingers against his cheek. “We make an interesting pair, huh?” you mused.
Spencer exhaled a quiet laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Interesting was definitely a synonym for dysfunctional in this case.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “We really do.”
You smiled, leaning in until your forehead pressed against his. You were curled in his arms now, your chest touching his, hand resting on his shoulders as you searched his face. His breath hitched slightly, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, his fingers came up to rest gently against your jaw, his touch featherlight, reverent.
“Tell me what you’d like for us to do together.”
“I—” He swallowed. “I think I’d like to kiss you for a while. If that’s okay.”
You nodded gently. “Can I sit in your lap?”
Spencer couldn’t form a sentence to answer, but he lifted his hands, inviting you to move closer. Not closer than you ever had been before, but it was by far the most intimate position you’d found yourself in.
You straddled him, knees on either side of his hips and your ass pressed against his lap. Your exposed thighs painted before Spencer like a landscape of skin. Before he could look at your face, his eyes were glued to the slight pattern of your skin, with scattered scars and birthmarks.
Close enough, Spencer snuck in a light peck on your lips. The first of many, he hoped.
Your hands lingered by your side before you lifted them to slowly rest around his shoulders, tickling the skin of his neck, diving your fingers in his hair to stroke his scalp with gentle tugs. He liked it so much that a little noise left his mouth as he couldn’t help but feel his body melt against yours.
Spencer’s arms were stiff, palms pressed against the couch cushion. He didn’t know if or where to touch you.
You started to litter his face with little kisses—on his cheeks, jaw, and mouth. He canted forward to meet you halfway, overwhelmed by the feeling of your chest pressed against his.
Pulling back, you cupped his face, simply looking at him for a moment. “Your face should come with a warning sign. You’ve got bone structure like you were carved out of marble by Da Vinci or something,” you said, leaning back in to kiss him.
“You’re thinking of Michelangelo,” he mumbled, although the words got lost against your mouth.
“Huh?” You didn’t stop kissing him.
“Nothing.”
Yeah, it was nothing to bring up compared to what was going on.
He always felt like he had gotten the hang of kissing someone, but with you it was a new sensation every time. And with your tongue slipping inside his mouth, your teeth grazing his lips—an open-mouthed and messy make-out session—he might as well have been fifteen all over again.
You teased him, and he knew it. Panting in his mouth, gnawing his lips raw. And your hands, god your hands that never stopped wandering. It was innocent, fingers through his hair or running along his arms, but still enough for Spencer’s brain to go haywire.
He wasn’t sure it was intentional the first time you did it, but he felt your hips move against him. A slow brush forward that could’ve just been you adjusting your position. Spencer’s response was instant, a sharp breath leaving his mouth, entering yours. He was convinced it wasn’t intentional when you simply continued kissing him. But then you did it again. Not once, but repeatedly.
Spencer was getting harder with every instant your hips ground against his, and surely you noticed it too, because he could feel you smiling through the kisses.
“You’re allowed to touch me, y’know?”
His head snapped up at your words, stopping the kissing.
“But—uhm, where?”
You gave him a look—one of those knowing, amused looks. “Anywhere. Did you want to see the scar?”
His throat went dry. He managed a nod.
“So, touch my waist and take my shirt off.”
He didn’t expect you to be so direct. Maybe he should always expect that from you.
Spencer took his time, gazing at you sat on his lap. Your lips were wet from kissing, and you had mascara smudged under your eyes. He found you breathtaking, sitting there in a frumpy old t-shirt, smiling at him like he was the dumbest thing ever.
Carefully, he let his hand settle on your thigh, fingers barely touching your skin. He saw how your eyes followed the way his hands moved, slowly upward, sinking his fingers into the skin in a way that made it spill out between them.
When he finally reached the fabric of your shirt, he pushed it up, letting his eyes find yours as a way to reassure that it was indeed okay. You did nothing but nod, helping him slowly peel it over your head. Spencer was too busy looking at how cute your face scrunched up when the collar got caught around your head to see that you weren’t wearing a bra. When you carelessly tossed the shirt onto the floor and then let yourself just sit still in his lap, that was when Spencer took in the sight of you, bare aside from your shorts.
Spencer was pretty sure his eyes went as wide as dinner plates.
Taking him out of his trance, you started talking, doing a little shift with your hips and crossing your arms over your chest. “This might be the first time I’m nervous about being naked in front of someone.”
Spencer tilted his head, talking too fast for his own good. “You didn’t mind getting undressed when you had to help me shower after my injury.”
“Wearing a bra and shorts is not the same as being naked,” you stated.
He dared to move his hands again, finding your arms, absently tracing the skin. You relaxed, uncovering your chest again, letting him see your breasts again. Admittedly, he had a hard time focusing on your face, but he tried his best.
“What are you nervous about?”
He watched you hesitate, your lips pressing together before you shrugged. The movement was small, but Spencer saw through it. You were trying to sound casual, but the slight tightness in your voice betrayed you.
“What if you think I’ve got weird nipples or something?”
“T-they’re not weird,” he blurted, far too quickly, and immediately cringed at himself. He scrambled to recover. “Perfectly normal, in fact.”
“Perfectly normal?”
“Well…” He cleared his throat, cheeks still rosy. “They’re kind of pretty.”
You giggled in disbelief. “You think my nipples are pretty, Spence?”
“I think you’re pretty,” he corrected. “And they’re attached to you, so yeah. Pretty.”
“Well, why don’t you touch them, then?”
He couldn’t argue with that. As his hands traveled up the sides of your body, he began to stroke the underside of your breasts, taking in the way you reacted to his touch.
That was when he saw it. The entire reason you were in this position. A puny little scar on the right side of your ribs. Scratched your entire side on the sidewalk. No, it wasn’t longer than an inch.
Spencer could feel the faint ridge of the scar beneath his touch, but he wasn’t thinking about that anymore. He was thinking about how warm you were, how soft. He was thinking about how insanely close you were to him, how his breaths hit your skin as soon as they left his mouth.
He cupped your breasts fully, admiring the way they fit in his palms and how the ample skin felt malleable to the touch. Your nipples pebbled under his touch, and your breathing turned quicker as he twiddled them slightly between his fingers.
“You can kiss them too, y’know.”
Spencer took in the feeling of having some sort of control over his emotions and over the situation. Fuck yeah, could he kiss them. He started at your sternum with a soft peck, then traced down the valley between your breasts. He looked up at you through heavy eyelashes, his warm brown eyes staring you down as his lips explored. Your jaw slackened, nodding at him reassuringly.
When he took your nipple between them, he heard you hiss at how he purposely teased you. He sucked on the tender skin, mouth on one as he cupped the other. Spencer felt so lost in what was happening that he didn’t even realize he was almost biting down on your skin, grazing your nipple with his teeth until a high moan escaped you.
Your hips rutted forward again, his boner now something that couldn’t be ignored. And by the look of it, the friction was enough to cause you pleasure as well. Spencer wasn’t even sure he’d seen that as a possibility before. But your shorts were thin, and the material of his pants was rough enough to rub your heat every time you moved.
Spencer only pulled away when his lungs burned for air, releasing your nipple with a soft, wet pop. For a moment, he stared, mesmerized by the way it glistened with his saliva, a fleeting mark of what he’d done.
You looked at him, grinning.
His hands found a comfortable space in the divots on either side of your waist as he watched your hands fall from his shoulders down between you. You didn’t touch, or take things any further. They just simply rested on him—on the prominent tent in his slacks.
“Was, uhm… was this all that you wanted for us to try?” Spencer whispered.
The air in the room had somehow turned harder to inhale. Humid.
“I thought I’d start with something less explicit before I tell you that I want your dick inside of me.”
Spencer now forgot how to breathe. Completely.
A little giggle escaped you as you took his face in your hands, your palms cold against his skin. Or maybe he was just impossibly warm. He didn’t want to think about how he must have looked—hair a tousled mess, skin pinking, probably blushing all the way down to his toes.
You pushed his hair off his forehead, tilting your head as you asked, “I’ve made you all flustered, haven’t I?.”
Spencer groaned, pressing his head back against the couch like he was seeking divine intervention. His boner, the elephant in the room, lodged in the space between your bodies, wasn’t enough for you to notice?
“Do you enjoy torturing me?”
You laughed, hands placed aimlessly on his chest. “I don’t. I just think it’s cute.”
He opened his eyes, peering at you warily. “What’s cute?”
“You.”
Spencer let out a long breath, shaking his head. “You can’t just call me cute after—” He huffed, rolling his eyes. “Never mind.”
You bit back a smile, leaning in again, your nose brushing his. “I mean it, though.”
His hands, which had remained mostly still against your waist, flexed slightly. “Me being cute?”
“No.” You kissed the corner of his mouth. “That I want you.”
Spencer’s breath caught, and for a moment, he just looked at you—like he was trying to memorize this moment, like he wanted to capture exactly how it felt to have you in his lap, saying things that he never thought he’d hear from you. Or anyone for that matter.
“We don’t have to be nervous,” you murmured. “I think we’re both allowed to want each other.”
“I do want you,” he admitted. “I just… I want to do this right.”
“You will. Let me take care of you, Spence.”
He didn’t have much else to say when your lips were back on his, tongue slipping into his mouth. Your hips, god your hips, began to move with more intent, practically squeezing his bulge between your crotch and himself. And your tits, moving with every bounce you made.
Every inch of his skin turned to goosebumps as your fingers sneaked under his shirt, ripping it from where it had been tucked in to his pants. You scratched his skin, and he could imagine the contrast between the red polish and his pale complexion.
Spencer no longer hesitated to explore you. His hands were in tight grips on your hips, wandering to the curve of your ass as he helped you move in rhythm. Glancing down between you, he swore he could see a damp spot blooming on the fabric of your shorts—but that wasn’t what captivated him most.
The best part was when you broke the kiss, gasping for air, your lips parted in a breathless moan. He could shamelessly watch how your face twisted in pleasure. You had an innocent delicacy to your facial features despite the raw need in your body’s movements.
Oh, was he really watching an angel…
The both of you quickly got lost in the hazy feeling of not knowing where his hands on you started and where your hands on him ended. Spencer heard how he whined with each of your movements, but he couldn’t have cared less, hips bucking uncontrollably, canting forward to meet your thrusts.
“Does it feel good?” you murmured, grazing your teeth against his lips.
A strangled breath was all he could reply with, his hands roaming endlessly for something to grab, something to ground him.
“Don’t stop, p-please.”
So he could form words, only that they were pathetic.
It didn’t take long between when Spencer realized that the friction alone would be enough for him to orgasm and it actually happening. He’d been too pent up for too long of a time to even think about holding it back. The feeling so rushed that he couldn’t warn you, or even say something to you. All that left his mouth were stuttered moans and curse words. He normally wasn’t one to use rude words, but this was uncontrollable.
“Oh god, oh fuck—”
He felt a warm liquid spreading from where his cock was tucked in pants, soaking through to stain the fabric. His body froze, and he tried his best to stop his panting breaths as ropes of cum continued to leak out. Out of instinct, his hands left your body, flying up to his achingly blushing cheeks.
You abruptly stopped moving at his reaction, taking in the sight for a second before your hands clutched around his wrists, moving his hands from covering his face.
“No, no. I’m not even giving you the right to be embarrassed right now, Spence,” you said sternly, your eyes flickering between him and evidence of his release. “That was like the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He kissed you to shut you up. Soft, gentle kisses that calmed him down and made you rest your weight back down onto his thighs. Lost in the fact that he’d just had his first orgasm in front of someone else, his mind wandered to you, and if you’d enjoyed it as much as he had. But… you hadn’t finished, had you?
Spencer pulled away, distraught at the thought of taking but not giving. “You didn’t—”
“No, but that wasn’t the point of this,” you cut him off, further explaining, “Sex isn’t always about making the other person cum. This time, for instance, I think it was mostly about us getting more comfortable with each other.”
“But we still didn’t have sex.”
“Sex is whatever you want it to be.” You let out a little sigh, not out of annoyance but out of amusement. “If this is all that you’re comfortable with, then this is sex to you.”
That made sense, even to him. But now that he had gotten a little taste, he couldn’t wait to be comfortable for more.
“B-but I do want more,” he argued. “More of you.”
“We’ll get there.”
“You don’t want me to help you out now?”
He wasn’t sure where his sudden confidence came from, and by the look of it, neither did you. Your eyes went a little wide as you struggled to answer. Spencer felt a sense of pride at the fact he could make you nervous.
You shyly looked away, mumbling, “Only if you’re comfortable.”
“I am. I promise you that I am,” he assured you, turning your face by a light grip on your chin.
You could move your hips against him with all intent to make him feel good, but you got visibly flustered at the thought of him doing the same to you. Adorable.
“How—I mean, I could continue getting off on your thigh,” you said quickly, tucking your hair behind your ears in a practiced, nervous manner. “Or you could use your fingers.”
“Fingers. Can I use my fingers?”
You hummed while nodding, agreeing immediately, kissing him quickly.
Making room on the couch, you both tossed some of the decorative pillows on the floor before Spencer laid you down on your back, him halfway spooning your side so that you both would fit.
The kissing continued as Spencer thought of what to do. He’d read a lot about it. He should be able to figure it out. His hands found home, massaging the plush skin of your thighs, thinking that was a simple way to start. Your chest rose as his fingers trailed over your body. You were desperate.
But maybe so would anyone be if they’d essentially been very close to climaxing and then having it all ripped away.
Spencer felt so unconvincing as his fingers fumbled with the elastic waistband of your shorts. You were about to be so naked, and he was still fully dressed. You didn’t seem to mind, though. Actually, you were very quick to untie the shorts yourself, pushing them down your legs and then onto the floor.
Your panties were a simple white with little floral lace details. And he’d been right; you’d soaked right through them. He looked at you carefully, his brown eyes studying yours as his hand played with the lacy upper hem.
“Keep them on, just—fuck, touch me.”
He looked at you, twisting and turning under his touch, words falling out of your mouth carelessly.
Then his hand made contact with your warm, sticky skin.
First over your pubic bone and then over a slight thatch of hair.
Spencer brushed what he thought was your clit with featherlight touch, taking in your reaction before delving his fingers between your folds, a surprising feeling with how velvety smooth the pooling wetness he found was. His digits circled down over your entrance before retreating.
You bit your lip to the point where it looked painful, keeping everything on the inside, turning your head into his chest.
Spencer stopped moving his hand, using his free one to tilt your head right back, forcing eye contact. “I wanna hear you. Tell me what to do.”
“Move a little higher,” you said, a whine coming from your throat as soon as he followed suit. With a little calculating, Spencer concluded the little bud he was touching was your clit. “Oh, fuck—right there, Spence.”
He used his pointer and ring finger to slowly explore, moving in gentle circles, touching a place that made your stomach tense and breathing sharpen and separate. Spencer could look at you all day as you enjoyed yourself, letting out a little floating laugh between moans, crinkling your nose as he touched the spot again and again.
“Kiss me,” you asked between breaths, your eyelids getting heavy the faster his fingers moved.
His free hand stroked against your jawbone before he leaned down to kiss you, not knowing if he was doing it right. But apparently he was, by the way you whined under his mouth, eyes rolling back.
“Should I—” He swallowed. “Should I do something more? I read that many women can’t climax from penetration and that clitoral or oral stimulation is easier—”
Your eyes went wide as he spoke, interrupted by his continued movements. “Fuck, Spence—You wanna use your mouth on me?” You shook your head, hiding into his chest again. “No, this is enough. You’re enough.”
His fingers slipped between your folds with more ease, hearing the wet sounds he could bring from your pussy. The more he moved, the more he wanted to turn you into a sweet mess at the touch of his fingertips.
“God, you’re gonna make me—”
You tensed up, and Spencer felt it. And then you let it all go.
It was like you lost all stability in your bones, turning into a fluid source of warmth in Spencer’s embrace, as his fingers slid messily over your clit, losing momentum, your underwear soaked and stretched out over the back of his hand.
Spencer had been unsure of if he could notice if you faked an orgasm or not. He now knew that there was nothing fake about you. You let out a last, long breath, and Spencer slowly circled your clit before he pulled his hand away, letting it linger on your naked stomach.
“Was that okay?” he felt the need to ask.
You looked up at him, breathing still uneven and your eyes slightly dopey, practically collapsing in his arms. “Okay? Spencer, you were fucking amazing.”
As Spencer held you, right there on your couch, and you slid your palm over his his chest, resting it tight above the place where his heart was still erratically beating, he felt himself lose control over basically everything. The world narrowed down to you—your skin, your scent, your breathing. Not that much else mattered to him. He wasn’t sure it ever would again.
“I wish I met you earlier in life.”
The words left him before he could stop them, and maybe it was a little ridiculous—like meeting you earlier would have suddenly made life easier, like it would have changed anything at all. But still. He truly wished that.
You kissed his neck, murmuring, “We’ve got all the time in the world, Spencer.”
His fingers skimmed along your arm before settling at your waist, holding you close. You felt so softagainst him, so warm, but after a moment, he felt the residual stickiness of sweat and everything else clinging to both of you. His nose wrinkled slightly, and he knew you caught it before he even spoke.
“Do you wanna go change? Wash your hands? Can’t imagine it’s comfortable being sticky.”
You probably felt just as sticky as he did, but Spencer could tell—he knew—your suggestion had less to do with yourself and more to do with him, his germaphobia, and his sensory issues. Because you were always thinking about him, about the things that made him uncomfortable, about the ways you could make things easier for him without making a big deal out of it. And wasn’t that just the sweetest thing? Spencer thought so.
“Mhm,” he hummed, helping you stand from the couch, legs looking a bit wobbly. “And you should go pee. Prevents UTIs.”
“I know that,” you muttered.
He rolled his eyes, but the corners of his lips twitched. Sitting up himself, he let you slip away, watching as you padded across the wooded floors. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to seeing your body being so casually naked. But he would love the future time he’d spend trying to get used to it at least.
“You wanna watch a movie?” you asked, voice sounding almost drowsy, as you picked up your shorts and t-shirt that had been thrown on the floor. “I got The Princess Bride on Blu-ray, and we could order Indian food.”
Spencer could do nothing but smile, his mind echoing empty of thoughts. “Sure thing.”
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Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think ♡ And yes, for those of you who didn't know, the Arctic Monkeys song is originally a JCC poem.
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A Seat at the Table | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Journalism was supposed to be about the truth. Politics was supposed to be about power. Neither of you were supposed to be here. But when Bucky Barnes—former assassin, reluctant congressman—leaves you with more questions than answers, you find yourself caught in a different kind of story.
MCU Timeline Placement: Between The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Captain America: Brave New World.
Master List: Find my other stuff here!
Warnings: N/A
Word Count: 7.1k
Author’s Note: so, funny thing—I haven't written marvel fanfic in years. like, actual years. but then I saw captain america: brave new world the other day, along with the thunderbolts trailers, and suddenly I am back in it, staring at my bb bucky barnes on a screen and thinking: what the hell are they doing with you, man?
so here we are. this fic is my take on congressman!bucky, because let’s be real—the idea of the winter soldier navigating politics is insane.
welcome to my marvel era, round two. let’s do this.
───────────────────────────────
The ballroom smelled like money. That specific kind of wealth that clung to old wood paneling and overpriced cologne, where the champagne never ran dry and the canapés were just expensive air. A necessary evil, your editor had called it, but you weren’t sure if that was referring to the event itself or the man headlining it.
James Buchanan Barnes. Congressional candidate.
The podium at the front of the room bore his name in bold, sterile lettering, flanked by banners that screamed "A New Dawn for America", as if slapping a slogan over a former assassin could bleach away decades of bloodstains.
You stood at the back, notebook in hand, eyes tracking the room. The usual suspects filled the space—donors with deep pockets, political strategists sipping aged whiskey, journalists who had already drafted their headlines before the night began. You weren’t one of them. You weren’t here for soundbites or manufactured redemption arcs. You were here because none of it made sense.
You had seen a lot of men climb this kind of stage before. But Bucky Barnes wasn’t one of those men.
Your gaze found him at the edge of the room, standing near the stage but just shy of being part of the performance. He wasn’t shaking hands, wasn’t offering plastic smiles. Just watching. A wolf dropped into a herd of well-groomed sheep.
Valentina Allegra de Fontaine was at his side, speaking with the kind of low, clipped precision that made your skin crawl. She wasn’t here to campaign. She was here to control.
What’s your angle, lady?
The public saw a comeback story. Winter Soldier turned Congressman. A tale of redemption, carefully packaged and sold to an electorate eager for a hero. The public saw a man trying to move forward. You saw something else entirely.
The world didn’t hand men like Bucky Barnes clean slates. It repurposed them.
A tool being repurposed. A pawn moved across the board.
Your theories were running wild. Theories your editor wouldn’t print.
Was this a ploy to install someone useful in Congress? Was Bucky Barnes the distraction, while something worse lurked behind the curtain? What did Valentina get out of this?
Your thoughts were interrupted when the applause started. You turned in time to see Bucky stepping onto the stage. The microphone crackled. He looked at it like it might bite him.
He didn’t want to be here. That much was obvious. But he squared his shoulders, shoved his hands into the pockets of his perfectly tailored slacks—and, in true Bucky Barnes fashion, ignored every expectation of a congressional candidate by wearing a leather jacket instead of a suit. No tie. No crisp blazer.
"I won’t waste your time." He finally spoke.
A murmur of polite laughter rippled through the room. The speech in his hand—written by someone else, no doubt—remained untouched. He wasn’t even pretending to read it.
"I know what people think when they see me up here. And I don’t blame them," he continued, scanning the room. "I know the headlines. The speculation. The questions."
"I’m not a politician. I’m not a hero. I’m not gonna stand here and tell you that I can fix what’s broken, because I don’t believe one man can do that." His voice was steady, but not polished. Not rehearsed.
"I know some of you believe in second chances. And I know some of you don’t."
That got their attention. Small shifts in posture, the kind of barely-there movements that told you when someone was really listening.
"But I know what it means to be let down by the people in charge," Bucky went on, his voice even, steady. "I know what it’s like when the system fails you. When the people making decisions don’t have to live with the weight of them. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have a say in your own future."
He let those words hang for a moment, measured, careful.
"What I want—what I’m standing here asking for—is the chance to make sure that no one else has to feel that way."
The shift in the room was subtle. A few nods. Some furrowed brows.
Valentina remained still. Watching. Calculating.
"I won’t stand here and make promises I can’t keep," he continued. "I won’t tell you I have all the answers. But I know that real change doesn’t come from power alone—it comes from the people willing to fight for it. And I intend to be one of those people."
A silence stretched over the room. A well-oiled campaign machine wasn’t meant to have rough edges, and Bucky Barnes was all edges, sharp and unyielding.
You saw Valentina shift slightly at his side. Not nervous. Just calculating.
The applause came a beat too late. Measured. Mechanical.
Bucky left the podium before it even died down, moving through the crowd without stopping for handshakes or fake pleasantries. He was heading for the exit when you stepped into his path.
“Barnes.”
He stopped.
Up close, he looked like a man barely keeping his ribs from caving in under the weight of the performance. He didn’t sigh, didn’t roll his eyes, didn’t bolt—but you could tell he wanted to.
His eyes flicked over you in that sharp, assessing way of his, the kind that cataloged details too fast for most people to notice.
Then, his gaze settled, recognition slipping in like an unwanted guest.
“You’re with The Post, right?”
You blinked. That was unexpected. You had no name tag, no press badge. Nothing to mark you as anything other than another face in the room.
“Yeah,” you said slowly, watching him. “Surprised you remember.”
He shrugged, shifting his weight slightly. “You asked a question at the last panel. Something about the Sokovia Accords repeal.”
You hadn’t expected that, either. The event had been weeks ago, a polished press affair where he had been forced onto a stage with political veterans who spoke in curated soundbites. You’d been one of the only people in the room who had asked about something that wasn’t pre-approved fluff. He hadn’t answered you then. He had looked at the moderator instead, let them dismiss your question before it ever reached him.
Now, though—now he was looking at you like he remembered.
That spurred you on.
“I figured you wouldn’t answer me then,” you said, tilting your head. “Didn’t think you’d remember it, though.”
Something flickered behind his eyes—quick, unreadable. “I remember a lot of things.”
“Must be exhausting.”
He huffed something that might’ve been amusement. “You have no idea.”
Your pulse kicked up slightly, but you kept your expression even. The fact that he recognized you, that he acknowledged he remembered—it meant something. He could’ve brushed you off. Could’ve pretended not to know. But instead, he had given you that small crack in the door, and you weren’t about to let it close.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d—
“I don’t do interviews,” he said.
The frustration hit fast, like a door slamming shut in your face. “Then why are you running for office?”
That got his attention. Not in a that’s a great question way. More like a did-you-just-really-ask-me-that kind of way.
He huffed out something that wasn’t quite a laugh, but wasn’t entirely humorless either.
“You always lead with accusations?” he asked.
“Only when I already know the answer,” you shot back.
He held your gaze, unimpressed. “That right?”
You lifted your chin slightly, holding your ground. “You don’t talk like a politician.”
“Maybe I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.”
“Then don’t.”
His jaw shifted, a flicker of something in his expression—annoyance? Amusement? It was hard to tell.
“Not that simple,” he muttered.
“Why not?”
He shook his head slightly, not in a frustrated way, but in a you-won’t-let-this-go-will-you way.
You tilted your head. “What’s in this for you?”
He scoffed softly. “You tell me.”
“I think you don’t care about power.”
“Good start.”
“I think you don’t really care about winning.”
The muscle in his jaw flexed slightly, but he didn’t speak.
“And I think if you were really in this because you truly wanted to be, you wouldn’t be standing here trying to figure out how fast you can get out of this room.”
Something flickered behind his eyes, something almost like recognition.
He shifted his weight slightly, exhaling through his nose. “And you figured all that out from what—watching me avoid shaking hands?”
“No,” you said. “I figured it out because I know a man being handled when I see one.”
That hit its mark.
The tension that passed over his expression was fast, but not fast enough. He turned away, heading for the exit.
You followed.
“You don’t strike me as someone who likes being told what to do,” you said, quickening your pace to keep up.
He let out a breath, not quite a sigh, but close.
“You don’t strike me as someone who knows when to quit,” he muttered.
“Not when something doesn’t add up.”
“Yeah?” He glanced at you. “And what doesn’t add up, journalist?”
You scanned his face, searching for the cracks in the armor.
“You.”
That finally made him stop.
The air between you thinned, charged with something neither of you had put a name to yet. But before either of you could break it, a new presence cut through the moment like a blade.
“James.”
Valentina.
She wasn’t impatient. She didn’t need to be.
Bucky’s shoulders stiffened just slightly. Just enough.
“Let’s go,” she said, her voice smooth, effortless. She wasn’t asking.
Bucky hesitated. Just for a second. Just long enough for you to see it.
Your pulse kicked up as you moved to follow him, but security was already intercepting, stepping into your path before you could get too close.
That was fine. You still had one shot.
“Is this what freedom looks like to you, Barnes?” you called after him.
He paused. Right at the SUV door.
Not long. Just enough for the moment to land.
Enough to make you think, for a fraction of a second, that he might turn back.
But Valentina was already ushering him inside. She said something under her breath—too low for you to hear. Whatever it was, he listened.
The SUV door slammed shut, sealing him away like a decision already made.
The tires rolled over damp pavement, red taillights cutting through the dark, and just like that—he was gone. Contained. Controlled. Removed from the equation before anything could spill over.
Your teeth pressed together. Something about it sat wrong. You exhaled sharply, jaw tight. It wasn’t frustration. Not entirely.
You shoved your hands into your coat pockets, fingers curling into fists before— something crinkled.
You stilled, pulse kicking up as you pulled it out, smoothing the creases with your thumb. It wasn’t a napkin. Not a business card. Just a torn scrap of something, the ink smudged like it had been written fast, in bad lighting, by someone who didn’t want to be seen doing it.
Hurriedly shoved into your pocket when? Before security cut you off? When he passed you? When you weren’t looking?
Your eyes scanned the writing—quick, small, just barely legible.
The one with the wolf in the name. 11:30. Tomorrow night. Try not to get followed.
Your pulse kicked up.
The meaning hit instantly. The Lone Wolf Hotel. A place tucked just outside the city’s main sprawl, the kind of overpriced boutique spot that catered to diplomats and corporate deals too dirty to happen in their own offices. The bar inside was upscale, quiet, not the kind of place anyone would expect him to be.
A slow exhale left you as you turned the note over between your fingers. Nothing else. No signature. No explanation. Just the bare minimum needed to make sure you’d know where to go.
And yet, it told you everything.
He couldn’t even write it down outright.
Not the full name of the hotel. Not a direct instruction. No “meet me here” or “I need to talk.” Instead, you got a riddle just obvious enough to be solved, just vague enough to pass unnoticed if the wrong person found it.
Which meant someone else might be watching.
The thought settled in the pit of your stomach, cold and unshakable. This wasn’t just hesitation. This was caution—the kind that didn’t come from paranoia but from experience, from knowing that loose ends had a habit of disappearing when they were left too visible.
A message written plainly could be intercepted. A phone call could be traced. But this? This was a test. A way to see if you were paying attention, if you were quick enough to put the pieces together.
And James Buchanan Barnes—a man who wasn’t supposed to be talking to you at all—had just handed you the first piece.
───────────────────────────────
The hotel bar smelled like old wood and burnt citrus, the kind of place where lobbyists whispered backroom deals over neat whiskey, where the ice in their glasses cracked like splintering bones. You’d spent enough nights in places like this to know the exact moment a conversation turned, the way a man’s posture shifted when he started to lie.
James Buchanan Barnes was leaning against the bar, staring into his drink like it held some answer he hadn’t found yet.
Your editor’s voice lurked at the edges of your mind—Get something real. Unfiltered. Dig into the cracks, find the angle, make him talk. That’s what they wanted. That’s what they always wanted. The headlines had painted him as a walking paradox: former assassin turned public servant, the ghost of wars past, now shaking hands with the same kind of men who once dictated his kill list. The entire campaign was a spectacle, a carefully curated image of redemption.
But you weren’t here for spectacle, weren’t here for an interview. He hadn’t even told you where to meet him outright. He’d left a riddle in your pocket, trusting you to figure it out. And that alone meant something.
You weren’t here as a journalist. Not entirely.
You sat beside him, not waiting for an invitation. He didn’t look at you right away, just exhaled slowly, like he already regretted letting you find him at all.
“You’re late,” he said.
You flagged down the bartender, ordering something simple, something forgettable. “I was giving you a chance to leave.”
His mouth twitched. Not quite a smirk, but close. “Generous of you.”
The bartender slid a glass across the polished wood. The condensation beaded under your fingertips, cold against warm skin. “About the fundraiser—sorry if I pushed too hard.” You paused, then added, “But you don’t exactly seem like the campaign trail type.”
Bucky let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “That obvious?”
“You showed up to a political fundraiser in a leather jacket.”
He shrugged, rolling his glass between his palms. “What can I say? Old habits.”
There it was. The quiet admission, the thing lurking under the surface. You leaned in slightly, lowering your voice just enough to push the air between you into something conspiratorial. “That why you’re doing this? A habit?”
For a moment, you thought he might not answer. He was good at that—silence as a weapon, a shield. But then he sighed, rubbing his thumb along the rim of his glass. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“The truth would be nice.”
His eyes flicked to yours, sharp and assessing. You wondered how many journalists had tried to pry this out of him already, how many had failed.
“I made a deal.”
It wasn’t an answer. Not really. But it was more than you expected.
“With who?” you asked.
His jaw tightened. That was confirmation enough.
“So, what?” You tilted your head. “She dresses you up, parade you around, call it a second chance? A redemption arc?”
He scoffed, low and bitter. “You think she’d let me have a redemption arc? No. She needed something. Someone. And I owed her.”
“Owed her what?”
His grip on the glass went white-knuckled before he forced himself to let go. He didn’t answer. You didn’t push. Not yet.
The bartender passed by, dropping a bowl of salted almonds between you. Neither of you touched them.
“You trust her?” you asked instead.
Bucky let out a breath, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t trust anyone who wants to put me in a suit.”
You glanced at him, amused. “Didn’t see you in one yesterday.”
“Exactly.”
There was something darkly funny about that, something distinctly him. The world was trying to put him into a mold he’d never fit, and he was resisting in the only ways he could. Small, insignificant rebellions. A leather jacket. A late arrival. A refusal to play along with the script they’d written for him.
“You could walk away,” you said, not as a challenge, but as a fact.
He exhaled sharply. “Could I?”
“You tell me.”
Bucky went quiet again, but this time it felt heavier, like he was weighing something, deciding how much to give you. His fingers drummed once against the bar before he spoke.
“I’ve spent most of my life being a weapon. First for the Army. Then for Hydra. Even after, I was something to be deployed when needed. Wakanda, missions, saving the world or whatever. And now this.” His eyes flicked to yours, something unreadable in them. “You think being a congressman is different?”
Your fingers curled around your glass. “No,” you admitted. “I think it’s just another kind of battlefield.”
“I don’t know how this ends,” he murmured. “Maybe I do the job. Maybe I screw it up. Maybe I disappear. Either way, it won’t matter.”
Your stomach twisted at that last part. It won’t matter. The way he said it, so certain, like he truly believed he was just another piece to be moved on the board until someone decided to remove him altogether.
“You matter,” you said before you could think better of it.
He blinked, as if surprised by the conviction in your voice. But he didn’t argue. Didn’t brush it off with sarcasm or shift the conversation. He just looked at you, really looked, like he was trying to decide if you meant it.
You held his gaze. You let him see that you did.
The silence stretched, thick with something unspoken. Then, finally, he pushed his glass away, the ice clinking against the sides. “I should go.”
The words hit harder than they should have. Your fingers twitched against your glass, but before you could stop yourself, you reached out.
Your hand caught his wrist—not tightly, not intentionally forceful, but enough. Enough that you felt the sharp contrast of cold metal beneath his jacket sleeve.
Bucky went still.
You loosened your grip, but didn’t let go.
"Why?" The word tumbled out before you could stop it, voice quieter than you intended, but steady. “Why tell me this? Why trust me at all?”
He didn’t answer.
Not at first.
His gaze flicked down to where your fingers rested against his wrist before lifting back to your face, unreadable. The pause stretched long enough that you thought he wouldn’t speak at all, but then—
“I don’t know.” A quiet admission. “Maybe I don’t.”
That should’ve been the end of it. He should’ve left. But you weren’t done.
“Then why keep me guessing?” you pressed. “Why give me just enough to chase but never enough to catch?”
He looked at you for a long moment. "Maybe I just like the way you ask questions."
You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. "That's not an answer."
"No," he said softly. "It's not."
The moment stretched between you until he finally stepped back, breaking the fragile thread that had formed.
You nodded, even though you wanted him to stay.
He hesitated for half a second. Then he reached into his jacket, pulled out a folded napkin, and slid it toward you. When you unfolded it, you found another puzzle scrawled in his careful handwriting. No name. No explanation.
He was giving you another meeting.
Bucky stood, adjusting his jacket, and for the first time that night, he looked like he’d made a choice of his own.
“See you around, journalist.”
Then he was gone, leaving nothing behind but an empty glass.
─────────────────────────────── The coffee shop was barely awake.
A handful of chairs scraped lazily against the pavement as early risers settled in, the quiet hum of conversation mixing with the hiss of steaming milk. The city felt muted at this hour, still rubbing the sleep from its eyes.
You pulled your jacket tighter against the morning chill and took another sip of your cappuccino.
It was too early for this.
You weren’t a morning person—never had been—and yet here you were, fighting off exhaustion at an hour that felt like an insult to anyone with a normal sleep cycle. Bucky’s time. Bucky’s place. And Bucky?
Late.
You sighed, resisting the urge to check your watch again. It had been a few days since the bar, since he had left you with another meeting and just enough to keep you waiting.
Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe you’d read too much into the napkin and the hesitation behind it. Maybe—
A shape moved in your periphery.
Bucky Barnes, as subtle as a gun under a jacket, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the morning light. Sunglasses. A baseball cap pulled low, the kind of look that made him more suspicious than if he’d just walked in with his face bared to the world.
You didn’t say anything as he approached, just watched as he slid into the chair across from you.
“You’re late,” you said, voice still rough from sleep.
Bucky huffed a small breath, more acknowledgment than apology. “You look like hell.”
You took another slow sip of your coffee. “I’m not a morning person.”
He pushed his sunglasses up slightly, just enough to scan the menu on the table between you, though it didn’t seem like he was actually reading it. You waited, watching the way his jaw ticked, the slight tension in his shoulders.
Then he moved to scoot his chair forward.
And winced.
Not much. A flicker of discomfort, a small hitch in his breath. But you caught it.
Your fingers curled around your cup. “You alright?”
Bucky stilled, like he was debating whether or not to brush it off. Then, finally, he sighed, shifting slightly in his chair.
“Ran into someone who didn’t like me very much,” he muttered.
“Gonna be more specific?”
“Nope.”
You arched a brow, waiting.
He didn’t elaborate.
Instead, he adjusted his sunglasses, fingers idly tapping against the ceramic sugar holder between you. His knuckles were scraped raw, barely scabbed over. Like he hadn’t let them heal before using them again.
You exhaled slowly, eyes flicking over him—the stiffness, the tension, the careful way he was sitting.
“You sure you don’t need a doctor?” you asked.
He smirked, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You offering?”
“No,” you said, setting your cup down. “But I know a guy who doesn’t ask questions.”
Bucky shook his head. “I’m good.”
He leaned back slightly, tipping his head toward the city around you, as if he were just now remembering that normal life still existed. The early commuters, the hum of traffic, the clinking of silverware. It all moved without him, without any of it touching him.
You could see it—the way he still felt like an intruder in a world that had kept going without him.
“You’re thinking too loud,” you said, watching him.
His lips twitched, almost amused, but the exhaustion beneath it was real.
“Habit.”
You took another sip of your coffee, letting the silence stretch. It was a quiet kind of waiting. Not prying. Just letting him get there on his own.
Bucky exhaled slowly, rolling his shoulders, like he was trying to shake something loose in his head. Then, finally—
“You ever have a moment that changes everything?”
Your fingers tightened around the ceramic of your cup.
“That’s a hell of a question for this early in the morning.”
A low huff of amusement. “Yeah.” He ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, thinking. Then—"Why’d you become a journalist?"
The question caught you off guard. You blinked, fingers tightening slightly around your cup, the warmth bleeding into your skin. “That’s a hell of a pivot.”
He didn’t shrug, didn’t offer some deflective smirk like you half-expected. Just waited, watching you in that way he did—silent, assessing, giving nothing, expecting everything.
You exhaled slowly, tipping your head slightly. “I don’t know. Always wanted to. Always liked digging.”
Bucky huffed, something dry, almost amused. “Yeah, I noticed.”
You ignored that, rolling your cup between your hands.
The ceramic was warm, grounding, something to focus on as you considered what to say next. You didn’t have to tell him anything. That wasn’t how this worked—you asked the questions, you waited for the cracks to show, you pieced the truth together whether or not they wanted to give it to you.
But that wasn’t what this was anymore, was it?
He had already given you something—a glimpse, a fraction of whatever was going on behind that careful, guarded exterior. And if you wanted more, if you wanted him to trust you enough to give you anything real, then maybe… maybe you had to give him something first.
You exhaled slowly, tilting your head. “I think I just wanted the truth to mean something. Not just what people get fed in carefully packaged press releases, not the version of the world that fits neatly into headlines.” Your fingers curled against the cup, pressing lightly against the ceramic. “I wanted to find the stories that weren’t being told. The ones that actually mattered.”
Bucky watched you, silent, unreadable.
You glanced at him, tilting your head. “The kind of truth people like you usually keep quiet.”
His jaw tightened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.
You exhaled sharply, shifting in your chair. This was a risk. Not a big one, not compared to the things you’d pried out of people before, but still—you were putting something on the table first. Maybe that was the only way this would work.
“I was there, you know.”
His brows pulled together slightly. “Where?”
“The GRC conference two years ago, after the Flag Smashers hit,” you said. “When Sam Wilson gave that speech.”
That got a reaction. Subtle, but it was there—the small shift in his posture, the slight tightening of his fingers. His expression didn’t change, but you saw the flicker of something behind his eyes, the quick flash of memory.
You took another sip of your coffee, remembering the way the air had felt that day—charged, raw, like the whole city was holding its breath. The sky had been overcast, thick with storm-heavy clouds that never quite broke, the wind carrying the lingering scent of fire, of rubber burned into pavement.
You had been standing behind the barricades, notebook in hand, the press section too stunned, too thrown off script to even pretend at neutrality.
You remembered the ripple of movement through the crowd when Sam Wilson had landed, when he had walked forward, the shield strapped to his back, his presence cutting through the lingering smoke like the weight of history itself.
You remembered the moment when the murmurs of confusion had sharpened into realization.
Not Walker. Not Rogers.
Captain America.
You remembered watching Bucky, too—just for a second.
Not up front. Not standing at Sam’s side. Just off to the right, past the line of cameras, near the edges of the crowd where the light didn’t quite reach. He had been watching, but not as a soldier waiting for orders, not as a man ready for another fight.
It had been something else entirely.
Not resignation.
Not relief.
Something in between.
"You were there," he repeated, voice lower now.
You nodded. “Not front row or anything. I remember thinking—” You stopped yourself, exhaling sharply through your nose. “Doesn’t matter.”
Bucky tilted his head slightly. “No. Go ahead.”
You studied him, watching the way he watched you. A strange tension stretched between you, something unspoken, unacknowledged. You sighed, looking away.
“I remember thinking that this guy—this new Captain America—was out of his mind.”
Bucky’s lips twitched slightly, but he didn’t speak.
“I mean, the whole thing was messy. The GRC was scrambling, the whole city was still shaking, and here comes Sam Wilson standing in the middle of it, telling these people—these politicians—that they had to do better.” You scoffed, shaking your head slightly. “Not a war. Not a battlefield. Just a man with a microphone telling the people who actually run the world that they were screwing everything up.”
You looked at him then, something settling in your ribs. “And I remember wondering—who the hell is actually listening?”
Bucky exhaled through his nose, shifting slightly in his chair. He didn’t speak, didn’t react right away.
But then he finally said it. “I was.”
You swallowed, heartbeat pressing against the inside of your throat. “I figured.”
Bucky’s fingers drummed lightly against the table. “And you? What, that speech change everything for you?”
You huffed, shaking your head. “No. I was already in it. Already reporting. Already writing. I just—I think that was the moment I realized that sometimes the truth actually lands.” You glanced at him. “Even if it takes a while.”
Bucky’s jaw twitched slightly, like he was chewing over something unspoken. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Even if it takes a while.”
Bucky shifted, rolling his shoulders again, like the weight of the conversation was pressing into him, setting into the spaces between his ribs. He let out a slow breath, fingers curling and uncurling against the edge of the table.
"That whole time, I kept thinking—this is the part where it’s supposed to end," he said, his voice low, measured. "Walker loses the shield. Sam takes it. I finish what I started with my list, make peace with what I can, and that’s it."
He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly. "But then I’m standing there, watching him, listening to him say all that, and I realize—I have no fucking idea what comes next."
He tapped his fingers once against the tabletop, like it was an unconscious tic. “It was easier when there was a mission. When I had orders. Even when I was breaking them.” His jaw flexed. “Amends weren’t orders, but they were something. A list I could check off. Proof that I was trying.”
You didn’t speak.
Bucky’s fingers curled against the table, his shoulders going rigid. “And then I was done. Or at least, I was supposed to be. I’d done everything on my list. The shield wasn’t in the wrong hands anymore. Sam had it. He did the damn thing, stood there in front of the world and told them they had to do better.”
His mouth twitched slightly, but there was no humor in it. “And the worst part? I actually believed him.”
You felt something settle deep in your chest.
He ran a hand over his jaw, exhaling slowly. "I believed him, and that scared the hell out of me. Because it meant I still cared." His voice was quieter now, like the admission cost him something. "And if I still cared, it meant I had to do something about it."
You studied him, his sharp profile, the way he was always braced for impact, even when sitting still. “So, you decided to run for office?”
He scoffed, shaking his head. "No. I didn’t decide a damn thing."
You waited.
His hand curled into a fist against his thigh, his knuckles pressing against denim. “She called me two days after that speech,” he muttered. "Valentina."
Your stomach twisted slightly.
Bucky exhaled through his nose, his expression unreadable. "Said she was keeping an eye on me. That people were interested in what I was gonna do next." His fingers tapped once against the table, like a slow countdown. "And then she gave me a choice that wasn’t a choice at all."
You lifted your chin slightly. "Which was?"
He tilted his head slightly, watching you now, his gaze unreadable behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses. "The same thing it always is with people like her. Do this or let someone worse do it instead."
A cold weight settled in your ribs.
"So, what, you took the deal?" you asked carefully.
Bucky leaned back slightly, dragging his thumb along the edge of the table. "Yeah. I did."
Your fingers curled around your cup, the warmth of the coffee suddenly too thin against the cold creeping up your spine. "Because you wanted to? Or because she backed you into a corner?"
He let out a breath, slow and even. "Maybe both."
The weight of those words hit harder than you expected.
Bucky flexed his fingers against the tabletop, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t like politics. I don’t trust them. But I know how this works. Someone like me doesn’t get to disappear. Not really. They either use me, or they take me off the board completely."
Your stomach twisted slightly. "So, you let them use you instead."
His jaw twitched slightly, like he hated hearing it out loud. "I figured if someone was gonna be in the room, it might as well be someone who actually gave a shit."
You exhaled, watching him carefully. “And do you?”
He didn’t hesitate.
"Yeah," he muttered. "I do."
You sat back slightly, watching the way his shoulders squared like he was bracing for something. “That speech,” you murmured. “It gave you a new fight.”
Bucky scoffed slightly, shaking his head. "That speech gave me a headache."
You lifted a brow.
His lips twitched, but his voice was quieter when he continued. "It also made me realize I wasn’t done yet."
You turned his words over in your head, the slow unraveling of this whole thing finally clicking into place. The amends. The shield. The war he thought he was walking away from, only to find himself pulled into a new kind of battle.
One that wasn’t fought with fists or a gun.
One that wouldn’t end with blood on his hands.
Something settled between you, heavy but not suffocating. A quiet understanding.
Bucky flexed his fingers once more before gripping the edge of the table and pushing himself to his feet. He didn’t wince this time, but you knew it was a near thing.
"Anyway," he muttered, adjusting the cap on his head. "That’s your story. You gonna print it?"
You let the question sit, rolling it over in your mind, in your gut.
Then, finally—"No."
Bucky’s head tilted slightly at your answer, something unreadable passing through his expression. A flicker of something like curiosity, or maybe just mild disbelief.
“No?” he repeated.
You shook your head. “No.”
He exhaled through his nose, adjusting the cap on his head, his gaze flicking briefly to the street beyond the café. “Guess we both wasted our time, then.”
You pushed back your chair and stood with him, the scrape of metal against pavement sharp in the quiet morning air.
“Maybe,” you said, sliding a few bills under your half-empty cup. “Or maybe it was never about getting a story.”
That made him pause.
His hands stilled where they had just shoved into his pockets, and he turned his head just slightly, like he was measuring the weight of your words.
Your lips pressed together for a moment before you huffed softly, pulling your jacket on. “I don’t think you really wanted me to print it, anyway.”
His gaze flicked to yours, assessing, sharp, like he was trying to decide if you meant that or if you were just good at lying to yourself.
A beat passed. Then another.
"You always this bad at your job?"
You huffed a quiet laugh, glancing away. "Depends on who you ask."
He rolled his shoulders slightly, shifting like he was testing the stiffness in his muscles, seeing how much pain he could move through before it caught up to him. You could feel him watching you, like he was trying to decide if this conversation was actually over, or if you had more to pull from him.
But you didn’t. Not this time.
"You keep digging like this, someone’s gonna take that shovel from you," he muttered, tugging his cap lower over his brow.
You smirked, tilting your head. "Yeah? You volunteering?"
He scoffed, but there was something like amusement in it. "Nah. I got enough problems."
You eyed him for a second, then took the last sip of your coffee, grimacing slightly when it had gone cold. “Yeah, well. Speaking of problems, you could use a better speechwriter.”
Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “That bad?”
You shrugged. “I’ve heard worse. But you’re not a politician. You don’t talk like one, and the second you try, people smell the bullshit.”
He considered that, tapping his fingers against his crossed arms. “So, what? You offering?”
You let out a short laugh. “I already have a job, Barnes.”
He hummed, adjusting his jacket, hands settling into his pockets. “Didn’t say you had to quit.”
You narrowed your eyes slightly, searching his face for any indication of how serious he was. "Are you actually offering?"
Bucky scoffed, but his mouth twitched like he was fighting the urge to actually smile. “I don’t know. You got any experience making guys like me look good on paper?"
You clicked your tongue. "Not enough to work miracles, but I can fake it."
Bucky exhaled, shaking his head slightly, but there was something lighter in the motion, something that hadn’t been there before. "Think about it."
You huffed, watching him as he turned slightly, hands still shoved deep in his pockets.
Then he hesitated. Just for a second.
And without looking at you, he pulled one hand free, fingers curled around a small scrap of paper. He held it between two fingers, loose, like it didn’t really matter if you took it or not.
"Here," he muttered, voice gruff.
You glanced at the paper before taking it, your fingers brushing against his just briefly as you unfolded it. The handwriting was small, deliberate. A phone number.
You stared at it for a beat before looking back up at him.
“What, you’re not gonna make me solve another puzzle this time?”
He huffed, something like amusement flickering across his face. “Figured I’d make it easy. Just this once.”
You rolled your eyes, tucking the paper into your pocket before you could think better of it. “Generous.”
Bucky shifted his weight slightly, watching you, and for a second, neither of you spoke.
Something settled between you—not quite trust, not quite anything defined, but something real.
"Just promise me one thing," you said, before you even realized you were saying it.
He glanced at you, waiting.
"Don’t let them use you up," you murmured.
Something shifted in his expression, something heavy but not unkind. He watched you for a long moment, then exhaled slowly, dipping his chin in something like acknowledgment.
Then he turned, disappearing into the waking city.
You stood there for a second longer, rolling his words around in your head, the offer that wasn’t really an offer, the door he had left cracked open just enough to be stepped through.
You sighed, dragging a hand through your hair before stepping away from the table, shoving your hands deep into your coat pockets. Your fingers brushed against the folded paper he’d slid into your jacket at the fundraiser days ago—the first invitation, the first test.
And now?
Now, it wasn’t a test anymore.
You weren’t naive. You knew what Bucky Barnes was, what people like Valentina wanted him to be. He wasn’t the first man in power who didn’t belong there, who had been placed on a chessboard he never asked to play on. But the difference—the thing that had been picking at the back of your brain since the moment he left that scrap of paper in your pocket—was that he wasn’t running away from it.
He wasn’t a politician. He wasn’t a soldier anymore, either. So what did that make him?
You thought of his hesitation when he spoke about Valentina. The way his jaw twitched when he admitted she had given him a “choice.” The way he still spoke about Sam Wilson’s speech, like the words had sunk in too deep to shake loose.
Maybe Bucky Barnes was trying to make the world better. Maybe he didn’t believe he could, but he was trying anyway.
And in the end, wasn’t that why you were still here, too?
You exhaled, tilting your head up toward the slow-rising sun, watching the light burn away the last of the morning mist. A journalist and a congressman. Two people who had spent their entire lives watching the world be torn apart at the hands of people who claimed they wanted to fix it.
And now, both of you had walked into a different kind of war.
You had spent years pulling apart stories, digging into the rot behind the headlines, trying to carve out something real in a world that wanted everything neatly packaged. He had spent years tearing apart governments, leaving bloodstains on the very systems he was now trying to navigate from the inside.
Neither of you were supposed to be here.
Neither of you were supposed to want to be here.
But here you were.
You didn’t know what came next. Didn’t know if his “think about it” was serious or if this was just another moment that would unravel as soon as you tried to hold onto it.
But you had his number now. Had a conversation that wasn’t just a quote in a column.
And Bucky Barnes—whether he realized it or not—had just given you a reason to keep digging.
You smiled to yourself, shaking your head as you finally stepped away from the table.
Maybe he had a point.
Maybe you weren’t done yet, either.
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