#not imposter syndrome I wouldn't mind much either way

[buysomecheese]

Maybe I’m not autistic and simply have deeper levels of c-PTSD than I thought

[dreamwritesimagines]

cage fighter and college student sunshine au long hc request pls

they would be so angsty even if theo were not in the picture (strongly believe she would've never looked at the TA if she had met logan first)

i can basically see logan whinning about how he's too old for her but in no world would he feel like an older brother the way he does for rogue, and she wouldn't feel the way she feels about jamie AT ALL

(in my head jamie still goes ahead with his botched adoption but instead of a difficult c section, sunshine gets injured in a fight that happens at the bar when her friends want to start betting on logan because they notice he goes through opponents like tissues if she is watching; she ends up in the hospital and jamie, exhausted intern going through a gay crisis and imposter syndrome, decides this broke college student needs some guidance because what do you mean this is your 4th hospital visit in 2 months??? what do you mean your only source of nutrition this week has been ramen and a pack of gum? who the hell is that guy glaring at me?)

(ps logan still feels inexplicably jealous at jamie's presence and since jamie has always been petty he gives him the shovel talk in the hospital at like 2am running on nothing but adrenaline and five cups of shitty coffee)

LISTEN I HAVE ONE HUNDRED IDEAS ABOUT THE CAGE FIGHTER LOGAN x COLLEGE STUDENT SUNSHINE AU-

Keep them coming please 😁❤️

So in this AU she took a gap year and stuff, so she's still 20+, she never had Theo because I totally agree, she would've never looked in TA's way if she met Logan first ❤️ HOWEVER-

It will not stop the TA from trying to pursue her while she's giving Logan heart eyes 😏

he goes through opponents like tissues if she is watching I AM SCREAMING😱❤️ He definitely would, and Sunshine would be melting and Logan would get so cockyyy😏

Jamie adopting Sunshine as his little sister in every universe I love their relationship so much 😂 He will take one look at her and go like, "yep, she needs me to survive" 😂

Also, giving Logan the shovel talk!? He literally is not intimidated by Logan in any universe whether he's a mutant or a cage fighter asdfghjkl😁❤️

I feel like Logan would stare at Jamie and be like,

"You have seen me beat up men twice your size."

"The fuck is that supposed to do, intimidate me?"

"Yeah I mean if you have any survival instinct-"

"Buddy, you won't survive if you hurt her in any way."

"I'm not gonna, prick. We're not even together."

"Does she know that?"

"I think you should be more worried about her TA and less worried about me."

"I'll handle him too."

"Good because if you don't, I will. And it's gonna be bloody."

AND like I said, the TA is definitely trying to get with Sunshine while she's trying to flirt with Logan, and Logan would be trying to keep his distance because they're basically from different worlds, and he's being...well, himself, so when he noticed the TA giving her those glances, he'd be like,

"How close are you with that asshole?"

"He's my TA."

"But you hang out with him outside as well."

"Yeah he's in my friend group too."

"Why?"

"He's nice. What's up with the questions?"

"I don't trust him, and you shouldn't either."

"Oh is that right?"

"He's an asshole-"

"Are you actually jealous? Because when I asked you out, you went all 'we can't be together'-"

"Is that supposed to be my voice?"

"Yeah it's all deep and stuff!"

"That's not- I'm not jealous."

"So you wouldn't mind if I said he asked me out?"

[cerealboxlore]

heyheyhey what if some villain or something uses an ability to show a physical manifestation of how the heroes see their powers (maybe they want the world to see them as selfish/vain?) and captain marvels just covered in chains tying him down

I LIIIIVE!!! so sorry for being late to answering this, hun <3

First of all, I am going wild and feral with that image of Captain Marvel seeing himself that way! The immense burden and responsibility alone in carrying the powers of several gods and ancients is astonishing, beyond the normal human mind, but nowhere near the level of being the Champion of Magic. Imagine that. Being a child who has no one to depend on, and then suddenly becoming a figure of such intense magical power that millions depend on you saving them. Billy never wanted to become a superhero, he never intended to be one, but someone made that decision for him and he can't escape his fate.

Not that it's a bad thing, Billy is more than happy to lend a helping hand to anyone in need, whether it's as himself or as Captain Marvel. He isn't pure of heart for nothing, after all.

Old lady crossing the street? Billy will be there to help. Dr. Sivana stealing from the museum? Captain Marvel is on his way to put an end things. Someone is in a burning building and needs help getting out? Either of them wouldn't hesitate to run in.

It's when he fails to save someone that it sticks to his mind and poisons him with nightmares and guilt. Billy has canonically mentioned before that when he fails to save people, they haunt his nightmares and he looses sleep over thinking about what he could have done differently or better to save them. Sometimes he thinks he shouldn't have been chosen to be Captain Marvel, and that his powers would have been better suited to someone else, anyone else besides himself. Billy is a kid for crying out loud, and yet he's filled with so much survivors guilt, imposter syndrome, PTSD, and more.

The responsibility and power of being a superhero, Champion of Magic, and guardian of the Rock of Eternity all weigh heavy on his small shoulders. Let's not forget Billy's personal life either; a homeless orphan living day to day, working tirelessly to survive and hide away from people who wish to hurt him. It's a miracle this kid hasn't burned out yet. He has too many responsibilities to care about!

Billy is fortunate enough that when he transforms into Captain Marvel, he can forget about his anxiety and worries for a while thanks to his powers giving him a healthy mindset to think with. However, deep beneath the surface, the vessel for the Champion of Magic is just a scared little lost child, crying for his mom and dad, never voicing his concerns or woes to people as to not burden them.

This is why I love your idea of the physical manifestation of how Captain Marvel sees his powers being chains. He feels trapped by his roles in life and doesn't think he can escape them. He doesn't even know if he is allowed to want these burdens and chains gone from him. The chains may seem to tie him down but he is ultimately the one with the key to put an end to it, to never say the magic word again and live a semi normal life. But that's just not the person Billy Batson is. Billy Batson will always do his best to try and save people, no matter what he has to sacrifice of himself in the end.

Maybe the chains seem to be on him unwillingly, but are actually there to represent how he is forcing himself to be a hero to the world.

[achilleswins]

I am a very insecure person. As in, with my mental health. It's a bit complicated but basically I have ADHD. I have been diagnosed. I had a feeling I had ADHD for a while (a year or two. At least a year and at most 2. But it's more like 1.5) but I wasn't sure, so I felt like I was faking. And I asked my parents and they brought me to get diagnosed. Of course, it took a while but in the end I got diagnosed and I am currently using meds.

And, if you don't know, ADHD meds (if used by Non-ADHD people) make people... More awake, more alert in a way. Like caffeine in a way. And unlike non-ADHD people, ADHD people instead have a "calming down" effect (affect?). It basically "calms" our brains down and some people soon after the medication takes effect, they can fall asleep (at least easier than other times).

So. Anyway, I said I feel like I'm faking it sometimes. That I don't have it as bad as others or whatever. (And to be honest my psychiatrist never truly told me I had it, just started talking about meds. And it definitely made me, even though it might be slightly, more insecure.) But then something like this happens:

And this happened last night mind you, so it's funny.

Anyway, I was kinda of tired and weary maybe last night, but I wasn't able to go to sleep no matter what. My brain simply wouldn't let me. And I couldn't do anything else either so I decided why don't I just go ahead and drink my meds and work on something, anything.... I was asleep less 90 minutes later. (My meds need around 40 mins to start working, at least maybe even more). For info, I can never fall asleep in less than 130 minutes unless I am bone-tired. (After laying in bed btw. The "timer" starts when I lay in bed). And mind you I only went to bed, maybe after the meds started working. But either way if I were not ADHD there's no way I could've fallen asleep either way. So I'm kinda happy.

. I hate imposter syndrome so much.

[lunar-years]

💖💚for unpopular ask

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

uhhh I have many. I would say my most unpopular are probably:

I don't care that the show had no big "endgame" ships. I actually appreciated it being left to interpretation on where we want the characters to go. And throwing them into relationships given where they are at in the end wouldn't have made much sense anyway. (beardjane was terrible but i don't count that as a 'big' ship lol. no one was shipping them. TOMATOES!!! -500/10). the show's focus was never romantic relationships to begin with fwiw so it's weird how much people center that in their conclusion about whether the show was good enough.

Ted going home to Henry was also Really Good and the Whole Point/Natural Conclusion of his arc.

I liked that RoyKeeley broke up. Didn't love where they went with it necessarily, and both of their characters deserved to be written soooo much better in s3, but I do think the breakup itself was a Good Thing that Needed to Happen for these characters to progress.

Given the season and events as they are written, I think Keeley is far more likely to get back together with Jamie immediately post finale than she is Roy. (I don't think she should get back together with either of them right away, mind you. My girl needs some time to not exist as part of a relationship, because she has clearly spent most of her life being in relationships and it has caused Problems to her sense of self worth that i am desperate for her to healthily address. And then I would ultimately very much like her to end up with both of them, lol. But I'm just saying finale Keeley totally WOULD get back together with Jamie).

In a very similar vein to all the above, a criticism i see ALL the time that absolutely drives me UP THE WALL is when people claim the writers fell into the ol' GirlBoss Slay trap with Keeley, where in order to make her an Independent Confident Businesswomen™️ they had to remove all romance from her storyline and claim that's why they broke roykeeley up. The writers wrote Keeley very extremely terribly in s3, do not get me wrong. But this argument that writers just hate romance and don't see how a woman can be successful and also be in love (when Rebecca, a very successful businesswoman with a major arc about wanting to find love is their lead female character, mind you), just feels like baseless ragey criticism from people mad about there not being a roykeeley endgame. Look, if that's what the writers were trying to do, they don't even come close to fulfilling the other end of that promise (trading her romance to make her a Caricature Slay Business Woman) because 1. they don't show Keeley becoming independent with her business at all (Rebecca just swoops in and saves the day) 2. they do a very poor job of showing her overcoming imposter syndrome and coming into her own and 3. after the breakup with Roy, they literally show her immediately jumping into another relationship. sooo. I think it's much more likely that the writers were attempting to show Keeley spiraling in the same patterns of self-destructive behavior she exhibited in s1 and s2. rather than attempting to wash away all her flaws I actually think they were trying to highlight and reflect on those flaws. Unfortunately they just did it very, very badly and left out the necessary other half of the arc that makes it compelling and successful: actually giving Keeley the space to recognize and reckon with those flaws. the problem is they too rarely let their own characters talk and have it out in meaningful ways. anyway.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Roy isn't like THAT but he's also not like that. you know. people are always falling in love with completely different made up versions they've got of him and then acting like their Roy is canon Roy. Idk who that guy is but he isn't Roy!!! ughhhhhh. sorry.

[dakotakazansky]

Ghost • Twenty Three

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Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Angst, lots of Dumb Bitch Juice, Some Smut Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC & Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado x OC Word Count: 3,722

Kota New Years Eve

I wake up curled up against the space heater that is Jake. His hand is softly running up and down my back, every so often, rubbing against the new tattoo that is set on my left rib cage. I bury my face into the crook of his neck, not ready to be awake, or to face the world.

"G'mornin' Darlin'." His southern drawl is extra thick, letting me know he's only been up for a few minutes as well. 

"Mmph." I groan, before placing a soft kiss against his neck against the fading spot, right on that sweet spot I know that gets him going.

Jake traces ghost-like touches down my spine, before slipping his hands up under the hem of my shirt, and pulls me on top of him, straddling him. I can now feel the morning wood pressing against my ass. "Jake please, not now." I whine, my mind clouded with the fact that this is our last day off, before returning back to Top Gun tomorrow for our final week of class.

He softly rubs against my thighs, as I bury my face into my hands. "Darlin' what's wrong?" He coos sitting up to wrap his arms around me. I wrap my arm around his neck, and bury my face into his neck, shaking my head no. He just rubs my back softly, waiting for me to speak again, which I don't for a few minutes. 

Once I pull away and look him in the eyes, he can see the tears welling up in mine. He quickly places his hands on my cheeks, pulling me closer to his face, and places a soft kiss to my forehead, before placing his forehead against mine. "Darlin' I can't help you, if you don't tell me what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours." I sigh, my hands have now dropped to the hem of his t-shirt, and I'm fiddling with it, while trying to figure out the best way to express what I'm feeling. 

I chew my lip for a moment more, "I just...I know how much getting First place in our class means to you—" I pause as a tear falls halfway down my cheek, before it's caught by Jake's thumb, and brushed off. "—I know that Tate and I are first place as well. I have this overwhelming feeling of imposter syndrome, and well I want you to be able to get the first place that you've always dreamed of, but at the same time I can't let Tate down either." 

"Darlin' I only want first place if I earned it fair and square. I don't want you to taint anything you're doing, just so that I can achieve that dream, it wouldn't be right." He says softly, pulling my head ever so gently, so we are eye to eye again. "I know, it's just, my last name is already up there, granted it's not me, it's my dad, but still we are already represented." Jake shakes his head no at me, "It might already be up there, but you also have Tate, and your first name will be up there too, it'll actually be you and her Darlin'. Please don't extinguish your own fire and drive for me. I never want that for you."

I nod knowing he's right, then chuckle at the thought that spills out of my mouth next, "Plus I gotta prove to that nepotism believing baby, that I am the best of the best." Jake busts out laughing with me. As we settle down, I place a soft kiss on his lips, mumbling against them, "What would I do without you?" He smiles against my lips, "I dunno Darlin', but I'm glad I don't have to think about that." 

I bury my face into his neck again, before placing the most delicate featherlight kisses to the sweet spot on his neck. I can feel his grip tighten on my hips, there would definitely be bruises there later if he tightened his grip anymore than he currently was. 

"Darlin'—", he groans out at the touch of my kiss. "Shhh Cowboy." I reply back before biting and sucking on the fading hickey I had left previously on his neck. I can feel his breath hitch as I continue the little rampage I'm on, and think to myself, that teasing him might be fun. My right hand makes its way to the back of his head and grabs at the hair that I can fist, and my left hand runs down his body delicately, before I palm at him through his boxers.

 "Kota—" he moans out softly, and as soon as I have him turning to putty in my presence, I place one more chaste kiss to his lips before quickly abandoning his lap, and bolting towards the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and lock it, and immediately jump in the shower. 

"Kota! Open the door!" He shouts while knocking on the door and jiggling the knob realizing it's locked. In my brattiest tone I can muster up, I reply, "Nope!" popping the 'p' sound with extra sass. 

"Darlin'—" he calls out again, "Open the door!" The devious grin that crosses my face is followed by an extra bratty, "Make me, Cowboy." I know I'm safe for now because the door is locked. "Well–" he sighs, continuing, "You're going to regret that Darlin'." Before walking back into the bedroom. During my entire shower I'm expecting him to just grab the key and unlock the door, but he doesn't. 

He still hasn't come in when I finished my shower and I already figure if I'm going to regret this later, I might as well have a little more fun. I do a small personal at home boudoir shoot, picking my favorite photo and deleting the rest. Tonight during the party at the Hard Deck I'm going to send the shot to Jake to have my one last laugh. I finish getting dressed, before walking back into the bedroom. I pack a quick bag of my dress that Tate gifted me at Christmas, a pair of black heels, and some hair products. We are going to help Penny set up the bar before getting ready over at Tate and Javy's house. 

I walk to the kitchen and spot Jake sitting on the couch watching tv in our living room. "Hey do you have anything you want to pack into the bag for later?" I question him, pointing to the bag slung over my shoulder. "Just my shirt for tonight." He says grabbing his shirt and bringing it over to me, so I can put it in the bag. I grab a few protein bars, "Are you ready to go then?" I ask, and he nods, reaching for the bag off my shoulder, before we make our way out of the house, to the truck, and over to the Hard Deck.

I stroll in through the saloon style double doors first, Jake following right behind me. I call out to Penny, "Hey Pen! We're here, where do you want us first?" 

"You guys can start on moving the chairs first, and stacking them back here." She says propping open the door that leads to the back. 

I nod, and Jake says, "Sounds good Penny!" 

We spend the next 15-20 minutes lifting and moving chairs. We leave some chairs around the edge of the bar for some sitting space, the rest we stack up in the back behind all of the bar stock. 

We stop for a beer break, on the house Penny announced to us, handing over our favorite beers as we perch up next to the bar top. "Are you looking forward to tonight, Pen?" I ask in a sing-songy voice knowing she's about to make bank tonight. 

"Absolutely Kota, I'm thrilled for all the tips tonight, might even be able to spoil Amelia with another vacation." Penny replies back as I finish my beer first. I started to move some tables outside and set up an overflow area for more patrons.  

Jake comes out with another table leaving it close to the door before grabbing another bringing it to me as I place them around enough to accommodate the patrons tonight. I also make a little smoking section a little further off as well. 

"How you always think of everything will always leave me at a loss for words." Jake mumbles into the shell of my left ear, as he wraps his arms around my shoulders pulling me tightly to press my back against his chest. I chuckle, grabbing at his arms and holding them tightly to me, "I'd say that if this whole pilot thing doesn't work out I could be a party planner or decorator."

He laughs, shaking his head, "Darlin' you don't even have to worry about that, the pilot thing will always work out in your favor, I mean jet fuel is in your blood, if it hasn't fully taken over by now." I laugh at his antics, "Yeah Cowboy, you're definitely right about that, it does run in my blood." I sway softly in his arms for a few minutes just enjoying the time alone with him. 

"Hey would you mind helping me with a few more last minute details?" I say while turning around in his arms, still swaying, but wrapping my arms around his neck. "Like you even need to ask Darlin'." He says, smirking down at me. I trail my arms down his, and grasp his hand leading him back inside to a few more boxes of decorations. 

He helps me hang the lights in the spots that are too high for me to reach, while I point out each location to him. By the time we are done hanging lights, we take a step back to admire the work we had just finished. "It's perfect." I whisper. "It sure is Darlin'." He replies back, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me into his side. "It honestly looks like the lantern scene from Tangled." I say chuckling at my Disney reference, while my arm snaked around his waist as well. 

We are startled out of our moment by three different alerts, two on my phone and one on his. We pull our phones out to look, both chuckling at the same time before I holler back towards the bar's door, "Thanks Pen!" There in front of us was a photo of Jake and I's silhouettes standing in each other's arms with the lights glowing in front of us. The other notification was a text from Tate asking where we were. I shot her a message back, "We just finished at the Hard Deck, be there shortly!" 

"We better get our move on, Tate and Javy are waiting on us Cowboy." As I say this to him, his hand is running down the inside of my arm, with featherlight precision, before his finger finally comes to rest, interlaced with mine. "Lead the way Darlin'." He says, as we make our way out of the Hard Deck to his truck, letting Penny know we are leaving and will be back.

No sooner than us arriving at Tate and Javy's, Tate is grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the guys and into her bathroom. "Alright makeup guru, what's our look tonight?" She laughs and says excitedly, "You are getting a very soft smokey eye, with probably the biggest cat eye wing!" I widen my eyes for a moment, but she notices that, "Kota just trust the process please", she whines while I nod and chuckle. "Okay, okay, I trust you so I'll trust the process!" 

She immediately gets to work, and a few minutes later she lets me take a look in the mirror. I have a gorgeous soft glam look, with a huge black wing for eyeliner that turned out absolutely stunning. The only thing she hadn't done was my lipstick that I pulled out of my bag. It's a deep red burgundy color that I only save for occasions like tonight. I apply it while she gives herself a soft Smokey eye as well, with a no make-up look. 

While she does her make-up I begin to curl my hair. "Tate, I can't wait for you to see what we did at the Hard Deck! You're going to love it!" She stops the work on her make-up to turn towards me, "Do I have to wait until later to see it?!" I chuckle, and pull out my phone, "I guess not, Penny snapped this photo when Jake and I were admiring our work." I say as I turn the phone around to her, to show her the photo Penny took. 

She gasps, "Oh Kota! Look at how sweet you guys look!" 

"Tate, you're not supposed to be looking at Jake and I!" I point to the lights that are in front of us in the photo. "Oh! It's beautiful Kota! It definitely looks like that scene from the Disney movie." 

"That's exactly what I said!" I say while laughing. We both finish our hair and make-up. "Here's your shirt Cowboy!" I say yelling out the door while hooking his shirt on the handle. Tate and I get dressed in our almost matching little black dresses and black heels. In no time at all we are back with the boys and back on our way to the Hard Deck to start the party.

We arrive around 9pm and the party is in full swing, there are bodies everywhere. It's mostly Navy personnel, and the local civvies. The music is loud and the drinks are ever flowing. We secure our area around the pool tables and dart boards. I turned and grabbed our first few rounds of shots from Penny before making my way back over, setting our tray on the table near us. "Bottoms up Bitches!" I yell over the music after passing out the first round. 

We play quite a few rounds of pool and darts with our top gun class, and friends. One of mine and Tate's favorite songs to dance to came on, so we sprinted to the makeshift dance floor, to dance with each other. After their game of pool and about 3 more songs had played, the boys joined us on the floor. 

It was nearing 11:30pm and I needed to plan out my attack on Jake. "Hey I'm going to run up to Penny really quick, grab us all some beers!" I once again yell over the crowd of people and music. The group nods, and I make my way over. "Hey Penny!" I yell to her over the music, when it's my turn to order. "Hey Kota, what can I get you?" She yells back. "Four beers please!" 

As she walks off to the back to grab more stock of our favorite beers, I turn and watch my group. I notice Jake pulling his phone out of his pocket so it's go time. I grab my phone quickly, and pull up mine and Jake's text conversation, and quickly attach the picture and send it. I can see his phone light up with a new message and he opens it, to see the sexy little number of a boudoir photo that I took earlier today. His eyes widen, and I turn back towards Penny's bar as he starts to search the bar for me. 

He spots me, and starts stalking towards me, wrapping his arms around my middle and leaning down to growl in my ear, "Kota–, that was a dirty little trick." He nips at the shell of my ear, instantly causing goosebumps down my entire body. Penny hands over our drinks, and we make our way back to our friends. "Two can play that game Darlin'." He says pressing his body against mine, while I pass out the beers. I jump ever so slightly feeling the semi that's now plaguing Jake, and I chuckle knowing he could but won't do anything here about it. 

A few more songs play, Javy and Tate are dancing together, and I'm dancing with Jake. To make matters worse, I decide to spin around when a more provocative song comes on and start grinding up on Jake, his hands flying up to my hips quickly holding me tightly to him. After the song ends, Penny has all the tv's in the bar turned on to the local channel for us to watch the ball drop. 

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The bar erupts with cheers and yells, the couples each getting their New Years kisses. Jake grabs my hand leading me over to Tate and Javy, before saying, "Hey we're heading out, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" 

Our short car ride home was filled with him trailing his fingers up and down my thighs lightly giving me those same goosebumps as before, before his hand rests dangerously close to my core. When we parked, he ran around the truck to open my door for me, pulling me into his arms, with my legs wrapped around his waist and making quick work to get into the house.

Once inside it took him no time to press my back into the door, while he quickly locked it. His hands softly trail up my thighs, and under the hem of my dress, pulling it up and over my hips. He begins to palm at my core, which is already soaked from the teasing in the truck. "Jake–" I moan, reaching up to tangle my fingers into what I could of his hair, and arching my back off the door.

"Look at you Darlin'," he chuckles before nipping at the sweet spot on my neck, "already so wet for me." He nips that spot again, before sucking on it, for sure leaving a hickey. "What else are you hiding under this little number?" He says as one hand softly snakes its way up my back to the top of the zipper on my dress before slowly unzipping me.

I whine as he slips my panties to the side and slowly and teasingly circles my clit. I try to grind my hips against his hand, but I'm met with a darkened gaze, and his other other hand now holding my hips back against the door. "No way Darlin'. I told you, two can play this game." I groan, throwing my head back against the door, "Please?" I whimper. "Mmm mm." He shakes his head no, while still painstakingly and slowly plays with my aching bundle of nerves, before kissing me deeply, his tongue making quick entrance to my mouth.

He quickly pulls the dress off and over my head revealing my last little trick of the night. Before his darkened eyes is a matching black lace set. "Darlin'–" he groans, as he pushes himself up against me, his hard dick pressing into my thigh. "Cowboy– bed, please." I whine again, and he's immediately picking me up and taking me to the bedroom. I quickly unbutton his shirt, pulling it off, and discarding it somewhere along the way. I smirk, pulling his black Stetson off his head and placing it on mine.

"Kota–" he groans, tossing me onto the bed, before quickly stepping out of his jeans, and crawling up the bed to meet my gaze. "Jake please." I whine again. "Shhh Darlin' I've got you." He says, crashing his lips against mine while he plays with my breasts through my lacey bra. I grind my hips up into his, needy for him. 

I grab for the waistband of his boxers, and quickly try to make work of getting them off, he helps the rest of the way before tugging my panties off. I make quick work of getting my bra off and flinging it halfway across the room. "Jake, I need.." I can't even form the rest of the words, but he still understands everything. I take him into my hand, pumping him a good few times, before he stops me. In another bruising kiss, he rubs figure eights and circles around my extremely sensitive bundle of nerves. 

I arch my back and hips into him before he firmly pushes my hips back down into the bed. When I'm wet enough, he slips two fingers in and fingers me, finding that spongy spot of bliss almost immediately. "Jake– just like that– oh god!" I moan while the spring in my belly starts winding up. My velvet walls flutter around his calloused fingers before he removes them from me. I whine in displeasure at the lack of feeling him, before I gasp in immense pleasure feeling him rub his hard dick up and down my slick folds, before lining himself up with my entrance. 

"I gotcha Darlin'." He says as he slowly enters, the initial burn turns into immense pleasure, as he fully seats himself inside, letting me get used to his size yet again. "Jake, I need you." I moan, and he begins to thrust into me, faster. I reach one hand down to play with my clit, and my other hand is slipping into Jake's hair, pulling him into another bruising kiss, him swallowing my moans. His hands snake down my body, one plays with my breasts again while the other is pulling my hips up to allow him to hit that spongy spot with the thick tip of his dick, "Cowboy, I'm gonna..." I let out a pleasurable guttural moan. "It's alright Darlin', cum for me." 

That's all I needed to hear, I came hard around his throbbing dick, as my walls fluttered tightly around him.  It takes him no time to spew ropes of warm cum into me, filling me up completely. "Cowboy, that was–", I sigh happily, "–amazing." He pulls out, and walks to the bathroom to grab a warm washcloth to clean me up before cleaning himself up. Once we are both cleaned up he crawls into bed with me, and we cuddle for the rest of the night, my head on his chest listening to his soothing heartbeat while he rubs soft circles on my back. "We oughta get to sleep darlin', we got a big day going back to Top Gun tomorrow." I sleepily nod against his chest, and fall asleep shortly thereafter.

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[h4ppydevil]

4:51 AM

I feel so lost in this world. I can't seem to find a connection that feels it was meant for me. I don't know me. I stared at a list full of traits and struggled to even pick the ones that were me. I feel like the end of my childhood and start of my adulthood is missing. I don't feel real. I don't feel like there is a person behind the fake attributes I've grown accustomed to. Imposter syndrome has taken over my life and Ive conformed to fit the mold of my lovers and now it just...it is all too much.

I've had a dream about him earlier today. In my dream I felt like I was in love with him again. I didn't go back to him but I wanted to. In my dream it felt like the thing to do but I knew better. He was horrible and has caused scars to riddle my body and my mind. I think I'm addicted because I didn't have to know who I was- I was who he wanted me to be and my decisions were made for me. It was easier to play a part than discover who I am.

Now that someone expects me to be who i am- it's nerve wracking. I don't know who I am. If someone held me at gunpoint and told me to talk about myself I'd either lie or stutter. I'm intertwining my soul with someone else and it is making me feel upset. I'm jealous. They are so sure of themselves, they know exactly who they are and living life to that plan. I wish to know who I am but I am afraid. I am so afraid. I've hated myself for years growing up and conditioned myself that I am not someone who is worthy and deserving of knowing- people need a cast of me. They need a mold fit to their design so I wouldn't be a problem. I've forgotten who I was and the years have flown by.

I still am not healed. I am simply done bleeding but my wounds are present and raw. I am an exposed piece of flesh curled into a ball but the hands have stopped striking. It is a moment of quiet but not peace. When will I stop hating me? Why do I hate me the way they have hated me? I do not wish to feel like a mistake anymore but it comes so naturally.

I am afraid they will fall out of love with me when they realize I am nothing but an empty husk. I am a body missing the required pieces to be human.

[vincent-nox-valentine]

👾🔦☕️💬 for the ask game :3

👾 - funniest out-of-context system quote? has to be one of these: "at the end of the day, it's night" -Vincent Nox Valentine "all the deaths wouldn't have happened if she just got to transition" -Oliver Warin Oleander "Scientifically, darling, you'd be more likely to be a himbo than a king nowadays" -Ethan "I may be a whore, but I'm a whore with class" - Vivian "blows up parsnips with mind" -Strade (Miz) "I'm throwing that baby out the window" - Jack "do you think if the sys did drugs we'd still be able to mask?"- Vortex

☕ - what is switching like for you? think about this gives me mad impost syndrome sometimes bc it feels almost seamless at times and it makes me anxious- can't really tell who is there sometimes either for me in particular unless something bad happens and I can tell I'm under so much stress someone showed up- but even then I can't exactly always tell who unless I or someone else notices a change in behavior (ie, liking something ik I wouldn't generally like- or mannerisms I would never do willingly like talking with a mouth full of food)

🔦 - how did you discover your system? when someone else pointed out to the previous host that during mental spirals they were having it didn't really sound anything like the host at all after a few years of knowing us- they went out of their way to "talk to your brain" they said at the time and then they noticed it was me lashing out at the host and started to actually interact with me and improve our personal relationship- eventually, the host couldn't handle the stress of being cheated on and eventually went dormant for a time (they are back after a few more years) and I took over hosting since then. so that's how we got here

💬 - free space!! tell me about something! I have so many people in my blender mix (as in so many people in my sys merged to make me) that it gives me imposter syndrome stuff going on bc I gaslight myself into thinking I'm just kin-ing the characters and my source memories are just headcanons also, I'm highly possessive :3 But you dear asker know all this about me already ya goof

[beevean]

So after reading "Let Go," I gotta say for a self-proclaimed non-writer you made a story that is on the higher tier of short story I've read. And this is as someone who has a writing major and so read a lot of stories to get that lol.

Like you could have bahsed on Surge since she's not your fav, but instead you actually made her be somewhat sympathetic even if she still lashes out.

It's a very solid and I'd say good piece. Inb4 an anon shows up to blindly go "lol Let Go sucks lmao wht trash like Misery Tastes"

bu-- wha--

Thank you so much, this means a lot to me 😭

Honestly I was just on a roll the last few days. Usually I have to pull words out of my mouth like teeth, but this time I knew exactly how to convey what I had in mind. It was a fun experience! Especially changing Sonic's behavior so that he'd be more in line to how I imagine he'd behave in the games, kindhearted but still no-nonsense.

Like you could have bahsed on Surge since she's not your fav, but instead you actually made her be somewhat sympathetic even if she still lashes out.

I hate character bashing. Unless you're deliberately writing a parody (and even then some jokes stop being funny, I wouldn't like Yandere Amy even in a parody), I believe in respecting the canon source. Even canon you don't like :P I fixed what for me were the biggest mistakes of #50 (Sonic's whole behavior, Surge's confused traumadump that also makes Sonic's blasé attitude look more callous, Sonic wasting time asking for a truce and not immediately trying to save Surge when she's about to fall), but I re-read many issues to stay as consistent as possible, especially the Imposter Syndrome arc.

I don't like Surge's surface personality, and in IS she made me roll my eyes a lot - she isn't that likeable, and not even in a love-to-hate way. She's a braggart and a bully, and that's really it. I'm also pretty disturbed by how Kit is treated by her, but that's another topic.

However, the fact that her annoying personality is fake? And that it makes sense for it to be this way, because Starline sure doesn't hold Sonic in high regard? That is a clever way to explain it. I was also taken by how self-aware Surge is throughout, she does understand that her hatred comes from nowhere, but still, when she has the confirmation that her thoughts are not her own? ... she doubles down. Because you try to break out of 232 sessions of brainwashing. So you have a rational yet irrational character, and that's what makes her intriguing for me.

Plus, y'know, tying her whole self esteem around Sonic and beating him can't be healthy. I was disappointed that her short appearance in #51 had her bounce back so quickly from failing the one thing she has going for in her life now (although it gave us Surge looking totally lovestruck and that's funny) - I think she should have had at least one temper tantrum :P Also, I've complained a lot about #50 lol, but I really like when Surge comes to the conclusion that nobody cared about her, because she either volunteered to be a guinea pig for Starline, or nobody looked for her if she was kidnapped. Add to this that her "little brother" was brainwashed into not having an identity outside of her, so his unconditional support is fake too, and I'm pretty sure her self esteem is in shatters by now. Or should be. We'll see. I still have my headcanon that her insistence in the first half of IS to be constantly validated for her feats comes from a deep insecurity.

I think that, if we could get a glimpse in Surge's head in the comic, she'd be even more interesting. And if she had one redeeming quality, like for example a violently protective affection towards Kit, I'd genuinely like her :)

Anyway, you made my evening, thank you ^^ I'm glad you liked it!

[lowdoseenby]

I've been questioning my gender for a couple years now. And I'm pretty sure trans/non binary. Specifically agender. But, I still feel doubt about it or like I'm faking it. I have thought and said things that I wouldn't have before. Like wanting to go on T or get top surgery. Even change my name. However, the feelings of doubt and confusion are so strong. Maybe it's even imposter syndrome? Is this normal at all to feel? I guess overall it just feels like I'm choosing it. When I know you can't choose to be trans. I'm sorry if this is an odd ask xD

hey friend !

it actually is really common to doubt yourself, so you are certainly not alone in these feelings. imposter syndrome, even when we recognize it, can be difficult to overcome. 

as for faking it, you have to make an active choice to fake something. you can’t make a counterfeit bill on accident, you do it on purpose. someone who winds up with a fake and uses it isn’t faking anything, they are doing what is logical. if you aren’t purposefully faking your experience, you are not faking it. and if you change your mind at some point, that doesn’t mean you were faking it either, you just started understanding yourself better. 

our identities are fluid. the pillars of our life, our interests, our friends, our tastes, our bodies, none of it stays the same forever. they shift as we grow and learn and experience and understand them better. you shouldn’t expect a gender identity handed to you at birth to be one that must last forever. even my cis partner understands his own gender identity now better than he did in high school. so if you are questioning your gender, and your questioning how you might want to change your gender presentation, and that changes over time, that is not a bad thing. you’re changing and learning and growing, celebrate it and understand yourself better. I was out for 8 years before i ever thought about changing my name, or let myself consider a medical transition. i am so thankful for allowing myself to transition, i am so much happier than i was when i was trying to convince myself it wasn’t an option (and why not is beyond me now lol). 

transition, change, gender, it’s a scary subject. fear, uncertainty, hesitation, that’s normal to feel right now. but those feelings don’t mean you’re making a wrong choice, they mean you’re really thinking it through, even the bad parts. that’s good. 

i can’t tell you what your gender is, only you can, but i can offer this advice. 

-it’s okay to need validation from others. we are social creatures, we need validation and attention. it is okay to seek out validation, and experiment with your presentation. there is no harm trying things on and seeing how they make you feel. only the folks you feel safe with need to know. it’s okay to see a gender therapist for this too, you don’t have to know your identity to see one, i promise. 

-consider your surroundings. my life has only gotten better the more i have surrounded myself with and radical inclusivity. it is hard to tell myself i am not valid for x reason when i would never say that to someone else. if you are searching for certain exclusionist, T*RF, or detransition content to hurt yourself or convince you you are doing something wrong, you probably won’t get anywhere good. i mention this because a lot of the folks i talk to these days tell me they do this. there are better ways to learn about your identity than partaking in content that thinks you shouldn’t identify a certain way to begin with. like the scientific method, for example. as silly as it sounds, it’s a valid way to question your identity, and an ingrained way many of us problem solve. [I also want to mention that detransitioning is a very nuanced topic misunderstood by a lot of people. I am not trying to imply folks who detransition are exclusionists or transphobic. I mean simply that people seek out this content to tell themselves ‘see, they got it wrong, so i must be wrong too.’]

-consider your community. even when i was sure of my identity, i felt so insecure about it. and duh, i was surrounded by almost exclusively cishet and non-queer people. even as allies, it’s not like i felt like i could relate to them or openly discuss my queerness. i sought out queer communities. they let me discuss my identity with other people who understood. i felt pride more genuinely, i felt understood by someone else. i got to see other peoples transition stories and know that i wasn’t alone, and that a unique transition doesn’t mean it’s a bad one. i am not saying ditch all your friends, but consider joining a discord or a club and meet other queer people. 

-you deserve to feel secure in your identity. everyone does. whether it is cis or trans, binary or not, you deserve to know for sure instead of always feeling unsure. 

i know i’ve rambled. i’ve been typing on this post for an hour. i just have so many feelings and things i want to share with you !! i really hope any of this helps. i am always happy to try and answer questions like this, feel free to reach out again  here or in my dms or what not. 

[meamiki]

Here is the original ramble! Actually I will preface this new rb by saying please feel free to correct me if I am mistaken in misremembering anything in these!! Okay here it is under the cut proper

vvv

---

Okay, so honestly this is more or less an excuse to ramble out an appreciation post (of sorts) on everyone tbh, since I do not do that often if ever. I'm just using the quote picks to keep me a bit focused on topics a bit more specific than being completely aimless!

[Also specialist of special shoutouts to my friends Squid and Aya for proofreading all this. Ily guys ever so dearly <3333]

---

Mirabelle

"Avoidance, huh... That feels... a little too cowardly, for me."

The Housemaiden, who would probably fulfill the 'Hero' role if this was a normal RPG, Mirabelle! She has a lot going on that's so interesting to me!! Okay tbf everyone else does too but I really just needed a segue.

She's the chosen one that wasn't really chosen. The reason she was blessed was due to circumstance, and it wasn't even by the Change God either. Because of that, she feels immense pressure/imposter syndrome since she knows the truth of her blessing. Speaking of feelings, she also already felt like she’s failing her own faith for being comfortable with herself, in staying the same forever. For not wanting to Change in that way, when everyone else can, and feeling broken because of it. And, of course, she literally has anxiety and hasn’t had access to her meds throughout the entire quest. That probably also does not help in the slightest!! It's an interesting stewing pot of feeling like a fraud of a 'chosen one' with all that in mind.

And yet, her dedication to her faith and country shines through her actions and words, whether she knows it or not. She’s not someone to avoid her worries. She’ll face them, head-on, even if she doesn't think she'll succeed. I feel like this quote captures it best to me actually! Especially since it's a direct response to Sif saying that they try to avoid their own doubts and worries, in comparison to Mira’s own in her own faith. It almost feels like a subconscious response, and to me that says a lot.

[Side-tangent, but it's also interesting to me that this very dedication works against her, in a sense? Like, notably the bonding proposals. Beyond the societal pressures in play related to the Change belief, she is also the one to take the initiative to ask a dating company for bonding proposals, it didn't just happen around her (as in, no one suggested this to her)? Even when she isn't even interested in dating anyone to begin with! She's not interested in Changing in that way!!! That is to say, her head-on dedication can be to the point of her own detriment at times, to the point of bringing her woe? Not sure if I am wording this properly. Just a thought I had, idk if it has much merit tho. Sorry if that made like no sense!!]

But yeah! She gives it her all in just about everything she does!! She was already known as the most hardworking Housemaiden in the House, always striving to better herself, always taking new classes prior to all this (over 150! and she herself said that she couldn't do anything before coming to the House, which makes it all the more impressive). And when faced with the insurmountable task of saving her home, all of Vauguarde, from being frozen over by the King? She continues on to take on the mantle as the chosen one, the one who will save everyone, and she starts it off completely alone. She's the reason the journey was able to play out, and why everyone is together in the first place. All because she isn't one to avoid her doubts and worries, and willingness to do it scared, yanno? It's just a small part on what I appreciate about her, but I think I'm going to cut myself off here!

---

Isabeau

"Doesn't that feel like someone you wouldn't feel ashamed of knowing?"

Isabeau!! Literally the whole “Change is destruction” convo that Isa has prior to this quote was up to be picked, but I figured picking the end would be easiest. But now that I think about it, I think all my picks are basically at the end of the FQ's so that point is sort of moot. Oh well! It's just hard to pick a singular quote off of these okay!!

Isabeau from the start of the game is shown to be portraying himself as a himbo. Big guy, dumb guy, the like. But, even from the start, there are signs that he really isn't stupid, like at all! First early gameish example I can think of off the top of my head, that distinctly shows this, is the color theory book. Mainly because he sort of kind of drops the facade for a split second there. Without proper context to his deal, it's just a funny moment. But, reflecting after the fact, it's more of an '...OH!' moment, since he seems to have been kinda upset about not knowing about colors (even if he's hamming it up a little bit, saying he's 'failed them all' for not knowing what colors were.) And that's not even going into his emotional intelligence either.

But, delving into his FQ the full picture is shown. That he wasn't always this big boisterous guy. He used to be the nerdiest kid around, incredibly shy, and because of that he didn't like himself much. But then he Changed and is much happier now, compared to back then! Even after his Change though, he's unhappy with some aspects of himself. He doesn’t like being considered dumb because of his act. And, even after Changing, that kid from before is still there, right? As much as he continues to project this air of cool confidence, he can never truly be rid of that part of his old self, can he? The one always paralyzed by fear.

With that, comes the quote pick! Since, to me, he's not necessarily talking to just Siffrin here, but also to himself. Because it all boils down to his own self-hatred, I think? He himself does mention this in the A5 version of this FQ, albeit kinda heat of the moment, that he "...keeps changing personalities like clothes, because it's easier than learning to like myself." He's still a work in progress in that regard. But even still, he is trying to be better, for the people he cares about.

[Small aside, that too can maybe stem from his own self-loathing? Putting the people he cares about first. I mean, he is the one who told Sif to focus on the others first. And even after that, he was putting focus onto Sif at first during his FQ (as in, talking about how he thought Sif would like seeing the stars, only letting the convo slide into focus unto himself after Sif made an obvious topic change.) The quote also kind of reads as an ask of reassurance, in a sense? That him Changing again would allow himself to be someone that people would like, even if he himself doesn't like himself. Idk where I was going with this tbh, but I think it makes sense to keep its inclusion here!]

Overall, I just think it's interesting to revisit Isa's previous dialogues with the context of the FQ!! Especially when thinking on the underlying reasons as to why the way he's acting the way he is, even while seeing signs from the start that he isn't the airhead he was masquerading as.

---

Odile

"I'm Ka Buan and Vauguardian, in ways I do and don't realize... And I am also myself."

The Researcher, Odile! I think I’m just gonna jump right into it without a semblance of an intro since I know it’s going to be a lil less focused. Mainly because I know for a fact I will not be able to articulate this ramble that well, so here we go.

As the oldest party member, it makes sense that she's much further along in her own character development / self-discovery journey in comparison to the others (at least in relation to her FQ centered struggle on finding out more about herself in relation to her heritage), and I think her FQ, in itself, helps portray that. Compared to Mira and Isa, who are still in the midst of their own personal journey on how to address their turmoil and putting it to action, Bonnie, who is the youngest of the group and is learning how to tackle their issues to begin with, and Siffrin who is going through All That™; Odile has come to a conclusion about her own woes, where the others have not. 

That’s part of the reason why I went with the quote pick actually! In a sense, it’s a display of self-assuredness in herself that can really only be gained with time and experience. She’s also able to explain her feelings on her heritage eloquently as well, and the convo prior to the quote helps express them too! It’s the recognition that yes, her mixed heritage helped shape who she is as a person in ways she may or may not realize, that it’s not the only factor at play here in regard to her identity. It’s the fact that, at the end of the day, what matters most is that she is herself, yanno?

Even with her self-assuredness towards herself, it’s also interesting to me how that contrasts her closed-offness to the others, especially in outright saying/showing that she cares? Which also probably also stems from her mother, someone who was supposed to love and care for her, leaving without a trace early on in life. It makes sense to me that she would have reluctance in showing that she cares for the others!! What if she ends up hurting others similarly to how her mother hurt her?  Of course, she wouldn’t want to do that to the others, and is distinctly also why she does NOT want to be called a Mom. 

[Tangent that doesn’t relate as much to the quote, but I want to touch upon anyway since it’s FQ related. I also want to point out that the FQ helps inform us why Odile is more willing to question things around her / be more sus? When her mother left, she left nothing behind, and with it, any links to her Vauguardian roots. This left her with a complete loss of that connection, one that was stolen from her and, with that, the feeling like she didn’t belong anywhere as a result. This led her to be curious enough to seek out a resolution to that feeling, lending more into her inquisitiveness on just about anything. How else would she be able to learn more about Vauguarde, without asking questions, after all!]

All in all, for Odile it’s a bit harder for me to elaborate on why I like her? I dunno, I think it’s just hard to sum it all up as eloquently as she probably could LOL. 

---

Bonnie

"So you can protect me, and I can protect you... And we can protect everyone, too!"

Bonnie!! TBH I had a toss-up on what specific quote the drawing would be based around. The other one being “You got hurt because of me and— And I don’t like it!!! I don’t want it to have happened! You should have stood there and let me be hurt!” . Because of the toss up both quotes will be discussed somewhat, since they go hand in hand with the ramble!

[To note, the toss-up was decided by putting it on a poll to my friends, as a simple “choose !” with the options being “joyful” or “angsty” with ZERO context. I told them after what the poll was for (basically if Bonnie would be crying or not in the drawing) and I got threatened for that one HAHA.]

But, to start, Bonnie has had, not once, but twice, people sacrificing themselves in some way for them (Nille telling them to run and getting frozen, Siffrin losing his eye.) Makes sense, because they're a kid, so of course those who are older need to protect them. Still, they are not happy about this, about people getting hurt because of them, and understandably so! It probably doesn't feel good to have your loved ones putting themselves in harm's way for your sake. But what can they do, right? They're a kid and don't really get a say on the matter. I mean, what else can they do? It makes sense to me that Bonnie is frustrated about that part!! It can be frustrating to have everyone discuss things around you, have everyone do things that you don't want them to, and (unintentionally or not), ignoring your input as a person because you are so young.

Kids are smarter than you think. Even if they may not have a full understanding of what's going on, they can certainly follow along and get the gist. Like, for example, Bonnie always listens in on the burial conversation during the second snack break (first found out either during a FQ run or in Memory of Promise). They even pretend not to hear whatever Siffrin says to make everyone think that they aren't listening in! They also seem to hone in completely to the conversation the second Isabeau says that it doesn't matter what happens to him after he dies, since they stop prepping at that point. Even worse, everyone starts discussing how they won't let Bonnie be killed. Which, if it comes to fruition, would be the third instance of people getting hurt because of them, and would be another thing they get zero say in! And everyone thinks they aren't listening in on it, meaning they were being discussed around. Plus, in Memory of Promise, while they don't have the words to articulate why everyone talking about their deaths is so upsetting to them, this context spells out the picture of them not wanting people to be hurt because of them, time and time again.

So when they get a proper opportunity to have a say on something, their promise with Siffrin on protecting one another, to protect everyone too? It makes the exchange all the sweeter to me! It's the first time, in probably a long time, Bonnie has had proper input on something from someone older than them on an important decision. For once, they get to stand on a more equal footing to an adult, rather than being treated as a kid who doesn't know what's going on. And, it probably means more to Bonnie than Siffrin realizes.

---

There’s probably a lot more of examples/subtopics I am forgetting to add onto all of these but. Please forgive me, but a good chunk of this was written while I was travelling or in one sitting on my singular day off after travel ASDAFSA. I might genuinely be forgetting something I wanted to talk about, esp since I couldn't double check stuff easily. I've been going off a combination of memory and downloaded friend ISAT streams LMAOOO.

Feel free to correct me on stuff I possibly? Completely misconstrued as well?? Since that is entirely possible in happening! Or further add onto thoughts! In short feel free to extend the discussion on any of this! But yeah, wrangling (some) of my thoughts on why I like them has been fun :D

And to those of you who read all of this to the end, thank you for reading my ramblings!! And if you're skipping to the end, FAIR ENOUGH LMAO!!

Regardless though, I'll end this off with a fun lil fun fact about this post! If I scheduled this properly, it should be going up at 11:11... somewhere! I thought it'd be a fun easter egg to myself. Mainly bc I remember people always used to say "11:11, make a wish!" a lot when I was school whenever the clock struck that time. I just thought it'd be fitting to queue this up for that time is all :]

---

Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D

(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)

(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)

[causalitylinked]

    At her next words, a wry smile is quick to loop it's way through his lips, for 'cool' was probably too kind an adjective to describe someone who sought musical inspiration from DVD recordings and had no idea what he was even doing half the time... but Kensuke supposes to Mikan, he must be an underclassman that exhibited an immense amount of talent, when in actuality, he constantly struggled with imposter syndrome. Then again, she probably wouldn't be able to understand how it feels to have the nagging suspicion you've stolen the Ultimate Composer title from someone much more deserving of it, so he refrains from being too self-deprecating around her.

    "You think so? Personally, I think I'm overcompensating for the fact I was never naturally gifted when it came to music. Still, I appreciate hearing you say that, since as far as I'm concerned, you're even more amazing than I am, Tsumiki-senpai," came his admittance. Honestly, Kensuke wasn't lying either, because tending to the sick and injured was no small feat; in fact, compared to his, her talent certainly seemed far more valuable.

    "'Nurse Witch Komugi', hm? Not gonna lie, it sounds very... quaint. Maybe I'll give the opening theme song a listen sometime," he then idly ponders aloud. Normally, he would make fun of people for still liking such cutesy, feel good anime at their age, but since it was Mikan, he couldn't help being a bit more open-minded; then again, she did happen to be a girl, meaning he was automatically much nicer to her than he was to other boys. "And for what it's worth, I actually think it's quite adorable you had fun watching it; in fact, I wouldn't mind you telling me more about the show... after all, you did like it, yes?"

@heraid

his   tenderness   is   something   that   throws   her   for   a   bit   of   a   loop,   ball   of   apprehension   burrowed   thick   in   her   underbelly   relenting   just   slightly   at   kensuke's   speech.   was   she   silly   ?   or   the   fawn   -   legged   casualty   of   all   the   uncouth   her   classmates   had   to   muster   ?

❝   ah   !   m-   maybe   you're   right   .   .   .   i   think   i   am   just   being   silly.   ❞   better   than   playing   the   part   of   the   victim   :   𝑠ℎ𝑒   𝑖𝑠   𝑎   ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒   𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠.   her   mind   worked   to   parse   through   all   of   his   words   —   pretty   little   head   was   a   term   she   had   preened   from   some   sort   of   source,   right   ?   and   thereby   she   needn't   read   into   it   too   extensively   ?   perhaps   fall   victim   to   being   lured   into   a   false   sense   of   security   ?   —   so   much   so   that   once   mikan   realized   how   enthralled   she   was   in   her   thought   process,   all   she   can   offer   is   a   wide   -   eyed   grimace   as   she   attempted   to   trace   back   his   words.

❝   t-   that's   really   .   .   .   cool,   hibiki   -   san.   ❞   she   was   far   too   gauche   to   ever   dream   of   anything   musically   -   adjacent,   but   it   was   enjoyable.   at   a   distance.   like   most   things   were   with   mikan.   ❝   hhhh,   i   th-   think   you're   right   about   that   too   !   i   watched   an   older   anime   on   dvd   once   .   .   .   nurse   witch   komugi.   i-   it   was   really   cute   .   .   .   but   probably   really   childish.   o-   of   me,   i   mean.   ❞ @causalitylinked