#not gonna say anything more but it is angsty (no shit/s all i write is angst these days /lh)
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hepbaestus Ā· 4 months ago
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I love looking back at posts that were referencing my Familial Souls AU without explicitly stating (from before I'd decided to actually write it) it because :3 teehee there's one specific one that I can't wait to write in the future
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lovelyflora21 Ā· 3 months ago
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I hate everyone else in the world (but you)
Summary: Drunk and in pain, Leon had an affinity for saying things he might not have meant to. Twice he did so. One was able to offer solace and comfort, the other the opposite.Ā 
Pairing: Leon S Kennedy x Fem!Reader
Tags: TW! Alcohol abuse, slight mentions of PTSD, depression. Angst. Hurt.Ā 
A/n: Hello! So this is my first attempt at writing again after such a long ass hiatus and break! This is also my very first (and hopefully not the last) attempt on writing a fic for Leon lol, this oneā€™s gonna be a bit angsty! I wrote this with Vendetta!Leon and DI!Leon in mind, inspired by that one TikTok audio from Euphoriaā€™s Rue and Julesā€™ scene and her infamous quote with TV Girlā€™s Not Allowed, playing in the background.Ā 
Hopefully you guys will like this one as much as I like writing it! Enjoy!
Wc: 1.5k
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I hate everyone else in the world but youā€¦
Was what Leon had drunkenly told her once. So lost in his drunken stupor that heā€™d blurted out those words in a brief moment of vulnerability and honesty. He mightā€™ve as well said those three words instead. But it was the truth, and Leon S Kennedy was no liar. He was never good with lies anyways, why try now? And in response, she simply gave him that God-forsaken half smile of hers. Leon remembered vividly, despite being shit-faced drunk, how she simply shook her head then helped him off the couch to clean up.Ā 
I know. She whispered, more like to herself than to him. Then everything else after that was a blur.Ā 
It was sort of a routine. After that particular nightmare of a mission, Leon would drown himself in endless bottles of Jack Daniels or whatever alcoholic beverage he could lay his hands on. He was pretty much banned from the local bar heā€™d frequented so often, and no for the record, it wasnā€™t because heā€™d start up unnecessary shitā€“no. It was because of how much heā€™d drunk; to the point that the bartenders and keepers made it a point that they were concerned with the amount of alcohol heā€™d swallow in one seating.Ā 
Concerned. Leon finds it rather funny and ironic, in a way that; bars made money from selling alcohol to anyone who would be drinking them and yet here he was, getting banned all because they were concerned with him? He was a regular, he didnā€™t mind burning his money on alcohol! They should have been grateful! He was a regular, a paying one at that and he doesnā€™t start up shit! They were making money! And yet, he got banned anyway.Ā 
In reality, concerned was an understatementā€¦
So he figured, what the hell right? Heā€™s just gonna find an alternative, buy some from the local bodega or some shit and get shit-faced drunk in the comforts of his somber and dark, shitty apartment.Ā 
The apartment was fine before all this, decorated it minimalistically so he didnā€™t have too much stuff piling up and it wouldnā€™t be too much of a hassle for him to look after; but after theā€“after it happened, he just didnā€™t care enough to look after the damn place. Hell, he barely looked after himself. Leon was barely even showering. Heā€™d shower once every two or three days, and didn't even care at all if people were giving him weird and funny looks for how disheveled he looked. Leon used to be pretty active and social, he would go for a light jog every morning before work or in the evenings after work, then shower and have dinner or maybe go on dates with her. But now? Now, his routine consisted of waking up in the middle of the day, eat whatever leftover was in the fridge, go back to sleep, wake up again then get so drunk he could barely remember anything then pass out on the couch then wake up with the worst hangover and repeat the same damned thing all over again. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.Ā 
It wasnā€™t helping him at all that the DSO was putting him on a temporary break too. Heā€™d honestly much prefer to be sitting on his desk working on reports than rotting and wasting away like this.Ā 
But then she caught wind of this. This revelation. That the great, brave and strong Leon S Kennedy; the renowned agent that helped rescue the Presidentā€™s Daughter and formed the DSO, has now become lessened to that of a drunk alcoholic. So jaded and bitter with the loss of hisā€“no, no, he became jaded after, afterā€¦after it happened. That he resorted to alcohol rather than face his issues head on. Rather than see a shrink and work on it.
So the first time she came back around, it wasnā€™t easy. To have her, his muse, his flower, the only innocent and untouched being in his life, sees him this messed up and broken. He lashed out at her at first, then he broke down. For the first time. For the first time in what felt like forever, he was finally able to cry.Ā 
Itā€™s okay, cry it out, let it all out. Iā€™m here. Nothingā€™s gonna hurt you. Iā€™m not letting you go. I got you.Ā 
Then he looked into her eyes and said it.Ā 
I hate everyone else in the world but youā€¦
And the rest was history.
Then it was another new routine for him. She was always there, looking after himā€¦looking after the place. Made sure he was eating, made sure heā€™d get cleaned up, made sure he was sleeping properly.Ā 
But he still couldnā€™t get over his drinking problems. Not anytime soon it seemsā€¦
Other people would have already abandoned him by now. Said it was all in vain, said heā€™d destroy her before he could ever get better. But she, she never gave up on him.Ā 
Until one nightā€¦
Leon had promised her, for a day, he wouldnā€™t touch anything that has alcohol in it and heā€™d finally go to therapy. It was paid and provided for by the DSO, as they should be. But he didnā€™tā€¦
He never attended that one session (or the sessions before and after, she shouldā€™ve known better), instead that afternoon he went to the nearest bodega and got himself bottles of Jack Daniels. Then he went back home and got shit-faced drunk. Again. Like always.Ā 
And when she came over later in the evening, after she got off work; she was furious. More disappointed than furious, really. To find out that he didnā€™t go to therapy and he was drunk.
Then it was some back and forth arguing and Leon said some things he didnā€™t mean to.Ā 
Typical of a drunk, how typical of Leon.
See, the thing is, she was one to believe that; whatever came out from someoneā€™s mouth whenever they were drunk meant that it was the raw and most unfiltered truth they wish they couldā€™ve said out loud sober.
So when Leon said, ā€œWhat is this now, you think you could nurse me back to the old Leon?! You thought out of all the people in this whole goddamn world, you could be the one to save me from being, from being this?! I tell you what sweetheart, you never cared about me, what you do have is a savior complex!ā€Ā 
It had been even uncharacteristic of Leon to say those things. And out of all the people he knew, towards her, too.Ā 
Cruel would be an understatement.Ā 
Leon wished he had stopped at that. Wished he had stopped and apologized to her after, but nope. He didnā€™t. Instead, when he saw her tear-filled eyes and her pursed lips, he went and sprinkle some salt on her wound.Ā 
ā€œWhat now, you gonna cry and run away? Gonna cut me off too like how you cut off your other friends and exes? Right, you do. Because thatā€™s what you always do! Run away and cut off everyone whoever said an ounce of truth to you, not wronged youā€“no, the truth!ā€
Then there was silence, save for his hard and heavy breathing that filled the space.Ā 
Leon remembers and forgets a lot of things. This is one that heā€™d hate to remember and unable to forget.
He remembered the way she stepped back, looked into his eyes and said it.Ā 
I hate you.Ā 
Then she disappeared from his apartment and disappeared from his life as well, after making it clear that she was done.
He tried reaching out to her, that very same night. Then the days that followed after, the weeks after. After Colorado. After New York.Ā 
She disappeared. Just like that.Ā 
So Leon gave up on looking for her.Ā 
And after a year, he thought heā€™d already forgotten about her completely. Thought heā€™d moved on.
He thought, after going to therapy, talking to his friends more and avoiding alcohol as much as possible; heā€™d finally move past that night. Move past her.
But it seemed he was wrong.Ā 
So when Leon was strolling down the streets of San Francisco during his free time, before his supposed missionā€“and he thought heā€™d heard a familiar voice, he couldnā€™t help but to look towards the source of that angelic voice. Could it beā€¦?
And there she was. Gorgeous as always. Beautiful and bright, warm like the morningā€™s first ray of sunshine. A basket of flowers and groceries hung on her elbow.Ā 
So she did move away. Thatā€™d explain a lot.Ā 
Leonā€™s body had a mind of its own, approaching her before he could even process everything.Ā 
Hey there.
And suddenly everything came flooding back to him.
I hate everyone else in the world but you
But you, you who Iā€™ve hurt so much more than anyone else in the world.Ā 
You who didnā€™t deserve the pain I had inflicted upon you. It was unfair. And I am so so so sorry. Wish I could take it all back. You didnā€™t deserve it. And then there was silence between him and her. Two birds, once of the same feather; and now? Now on opposite ends.
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weer02 Ā· 1 year ago
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25. Ramble about anything, everything you are dying to tell the world of your WIP.
Sorry you had to wait so long for me to answer your ask, but I held off answering it until I'd have chapter 20 posted. It's the part of my WIP I'd like to ramble about 'cause I feel like quite a lot has happened in there. It will make more sense after reading the chapter, sooo I'd recommend reading the chapter first (it's posted now) then this post!
Max&Nathan doing jigsaw puzzle on the visits
I'm gonna start with a fun one, not really important to the plot . I wondered about the things they can do at the visits, have something that would help them bond as friends. I went for jigsaw puzzle, inspired by my own inexplicable need to assemble a jigsaw puzzle (which I did btw, bought myself a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle and assembled it alone within like a week haha). While I was doing the puzzle, I thought about the size, what kind of assembling strategies they'd have. Yeah, that starts to sound like "method writing" šŸ˜‚
Nathan getting worried about Max's emotional state
Ok, I'm gonna ramble a lot about it, 'cause that's one of my fav things in this chapter,! I love to write nice and sweet scenes with them after so many angsty scenes! One thing that I love about my very slow build is how they slowly warm up to each other, start to trust themselves more to share certain stuff, how they begin to notice odd behavior in each other.
Max being quiet on the visits is something alarming, because she was always rambling about random stuff, so he asks her to tell him about how is she. He's the first one to know about what's bothering her lately, what makes it more easy for her is that he is/was dealing with more severe emotional issues than her, so she assumes he'll understand + won't judge her. And what she assumes turns out to be true.
Surprise, now it's Nathan who's helping Max! How the tables had turned! Yeah... at some point of writing this fic, I think I was writing chapter 6? I figured out that Max will develop some kind of mental issues because of the trauma she went through. One of the tropes? in the caulscott I'm writing is that they both somehow bond over their issues, and the help part (that in many caulscott fics is often one sided) is reciprocated here. It's gonna be explored more in further chapters!
The other patient's breakdown
Something that I came up with to show more of the hospital environment; that it's a relatively calm space for Max and Nathan to form their friendship, but there are also moments when something unnerving can happen, because it's still a psychiatric hospital. It's also for the plot's sake, the breakdown adds some action to a scene, but also serves as a some kind of a parallel to Nathan's situation, in his group therapy he has people who committed crimes like him; and his line "Yes, I did fucked up shit and that's why I'm locked upĀ  here with other people who also did fucked up shit. I don't know why are you so shocked." is a great summary to what I was trying to achieve by introducing that OC (? idk if an episodic character counts as oc)
The Nightmare
I decided to do more "Nigtmare Sequences" because of the feedback I've got for it (and because of one of your reviews Kris @kpchrs :DD)
-For the hallway part I have to say that I drew some inspiration for the setting from my interest in dreamcore/liminal spaces -For the second part with flashes were inspired by the nightmare sequence from the original game, the visit scene floating in the void by the Max&Chloe "memory lane" -The part that happens after the "blood red flash", the "worst outcome of that day/alternate universe glimpse" is actually an angsty thought I had once, that "what if things in chapter 1 went not in favor of our protagonist(s)", "What if Jefferson's plan worked?". That's just plain angst(tm) for all the readers from me :")
I really enjoy considering "what if" scenarios, and because LiS' universe heavily connected time travel/parallel worlds, I took the opportunity.
But is it just a nightmare and her brain fearing the worst or a glimpse of an alternate universe? "Our" Max thinks she got to see a glimpse of another universe, mostly because of her alter-ego's implication, but what's the truth is up to the reader's interpretation. I had so much fun writing in the dreamlike, nightmarish setting, and I'm not done with it yet!
The therapy session
An attempt of a rational explanation of Max's powers, one of things that can be found in one of my first outlines. It was supposed to go like she went through multiple therapists, and from the last one she'll hear she made up the powers to cope with a traumatic experience. I think it's a plausible explanation of her powers, especially for like a realistic approach. It's not the typical "character wakes up and realizes everything (supernatural) that happened was a dream" (though "Staying Vertical" by midnight_neverland on AO3 does it SO well), but something in between. I'll see where that will go in my fic 'cause I have a few ideas how to wrap up the Max's powers part, even though it's not a main focus of this fic. But some kind of explanation about why Max had got her powers is something I wish was more explored in the game.
Speaking of the therapist scene, there's a funny thing in context of my new obsession, THG. I named Max's therapist Dr. Collins, because that was what the name generator came up with, before I even started watching THG and got into it. The authors' name is Collins too. I'm gonna leave it like that 'cause I love a funny coincidence šŸ˜‚
Oh, so many things happened in this chapter but at the same time I feel like nothing happened at all šŸ˜© I sometimes feel like going in circles with this fic, even though I'm satisfied with my outline and I'm following that outline! Ugh, writing struggles once again! As of right now I have around 10 more chaps planned so the fic would have a nice number of 30 chapters. No one knows what will be left of these plans, 'cause in the original it was supposed to be 20 chapters šŸ„²
For anyone that stayed up until now, thanks for reading!šŸ’–šŸ’–
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binickandros Ā· 1 year ago
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @staceymcgillicuddy. Thanks!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
42! I have more on ff.net.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
1,612,657. She a chatty bjtxh.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
rn just Stranger Things, but in the past I've written for Criminal Minds (that's sort of...ongoing, I guess), L&O:SVU, The X-Files, Sailor Moon, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sons of Anarchy, The Stand, and Homicide: Life on the Street. Also there's my roosthoard crackfic.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Sharp as Nails, Soft as Honey (hellcheer)
You've Earned It (Barba/Carisi from SVU)
Longing (Juice/Chibs from SoA)
Come With Me Tonight (Juice/OC, SoA)
The Space Between (hellcheer)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to! Sometimes I forget and then I feel awkward replying like ages later. I never replied to a bunch on Space Between and feel bad about it. :/ So now I try to respond right away bc I want ppl to know how much I appreciate their support.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
None of my fics end angstily. They might have angsty events, but everything always resolves happily. I write fic to fix shit, not to make it worse!!
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Ummmmm...lol! Probably the sort-of crackish sequel to Come WIth Me Tonight, Under My Skin. Juice, Chibs, and my OC move to a Greek island and raise goats and bees and have sex all the time. What could be better??
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not lately, but Come With Me did get some bullshit, mostly bc the SoA fandom didn't like the idea of a more submissive Juice Ortiz (dumb, frankly), and they just in general like to hate on OCs.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yup. Didn't start until my spn fic, Half of Something Else, but since then yeah. Most of them have had smut. Sometimes it's more vanilla, but I usually do prefer to play with power dynamics. Some have outright D/s stuff goin on, but I usually don't get that "formal" with it.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've got the crack-ish roosthoard fic, which I plan on turning into a series, and once I tried to write an X-Files/CriMi but couldn't really get anywhere with it. So usually no, I don't.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I know. I'm not popular enough, which is fine w me.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I was about to say no, but then I remembered back in the day someone translated my Sailor Moon fics. So yes!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Sort of? Like, not officially, but nearly everything I write these days is at least partially co-written with @tonybourdain
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Oh gosh. Ummmm...okay, either Jon/Aryn from Farscape or Jaime/Claire from Outlander.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Oh geez. I want to finish my Stand fic SO badly, but idk if it's gonna happen. Also my SoA fic Get You In. I know what I want to happen, but writing it is the hard part. :/ But the one I know I'll probably never finish is Collide, my SVU fic. Like the other two could get finished some day, but that one? Prob not.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, esp banter. I think I'm pretty funny. Also giving my sentences and paragraph a certain rhythm. I have a good ear.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I get stuck in ruts. Like repeating myself a lot.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I've done bits and pieces of other languages in my fic, but if I needed anything more complex or longer, I'd get someone who spoke whatever language to help me.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Homicide: Life on the Street, I think. Then very shortly after that, The X-Files. Or maybe vice versa I don't remember.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I really really love my spn fic Half of Something Else. There's this whole bit that takes place near a swamp that I just adore. But also my SoA magnum opus, Come With Me Tonight. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that baby.
Right now I'm really enjoying my current hellcheer WiP, With Teeth. I think it's gonna be good.
I'm gonna tag @anniecrestaodairs, @prosopopeya, and @lightsaroundyourvanity
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hanmasghost Ā· 3 years ago
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Draken as a Secret Admirer Pt.2
Please check my page before requesting
Pt.1 here
A/N: this was requested in the comments of part one, and I have delivered! Here are your tags @hosphoria @wakasagurl hope you enjoy, cause Iā€™m not the best at writing romantic relationships and stuff;-;
Pronouns: Not Specified
Warning(s): a little bit of an angsty start, some strong language, kinda stereotypical but thatā€™s fine cause itā€™s cute,
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Draken stood there as you read the letter he wrote earlier. The one where he had confessed his feelings on. The one that Mikey had snatched and given to you.
After you didnā€™t say anything for awhile both gang leader and vice leader stood there nervously glancing at you.
Draken didnā€™t look like it, but he was scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of being rejected by you.
Mikey on the other hand was nervous about you rejecting Draken. It would be his fault. You would reject Draken, Draken would be heartbroken, and it would all be his fault.
After awhile of you just looking at the letter Draken decided that you just didnā€™t want to reject him so he decided to just walk away and leave. That was until he heard you mumble something.
ā€œHuh?ā€
ā€œI saidā€¦ā€ you started off strong but slowly went back into a mumble that was not comprehensible by either of the two blondes in the room.
ā€œLook itā€™s fine.. you donā€™t have to verbally turn me down, I understand.ā€
Draken watched as you whipped your head up from the paper and changed your focus to him.
You walked away from Mikey, Drakenā€™s letter in hand, and towards the tall blonde.
You pushed the letter into Drakenā€™s chest and looked down to the floor, glaring at it as if it had accused you of doing the unimaginable. In a way, thatā€™s exactly what happened, just it wasnā€™t the floor that accused you.
ā€œI like you too dumbass.ā€ You growled, pushing the paper further into Drakenā€™s chest. You usually didnā€™t curse at Draken unless you were mad or serious, it shocked him.
ā€œYou what?-ā€œ
ā€œI said I like you too dammit. Are you deaf or something?ā€ You replied, cutting Draken off.
Draken was stunned. You, the person he loved and cherished, liked him back. It almost feels like dream.
ā€œYou do?ā€
ā€œOf course I do. Iā€™m not insane, anyone would fall for youā€¦ even if youā€™re a little dense.ā€ Mumbling the last part as you stopped pushing the paper towards Draken and started folding it up.
ā€œIā€™m not dense.ā€ Draken said.
You stopped folding the letter and gave Draken a questioning look.
ā€œYou serious? You just thought I was about to reject you.ā€
ā€œWell yeah, you didnā€™t say anything for like four minutes.ā€
ā€œThat wasnā€™t four minutes.ā€ You said rolling your eyes at him.
ā€œYeah it was. Class is gonna start in just a few more minutes.ā€ Draken said pointing at a clock that was above the teachers desk.
ā€œWhat no it wasnā€™t- ohā€¦ā€ you cut yourself off mid sentence, noticing Draken was right.
ā€œThen you should probably get to class then.ā€
ā€œ{Reader}ā€¦ weā€™re in the same class.ā€
ā€œRight..ā€
ā€œSo are you guys a thing now?ā€ Mikeyā€™s voice came from behind {Reader}.
You jumped back and yelped.
ā€œHoly shit! Youā€™re still here?!ā€ You yelled.
ā€œWow. Rude. Anyways you and Ken-chin are a thing now right?ā€ Mikey asked, pointing between you and Draken.
You and Draken made looked to each other and then at Mikey.
ā€œYeah/I guess soā€
ā€œHAHA! See Ken-chin! You should be proud I got you a partner!ā€ Mikey said proudly.
ā€œGet out. Youā€™re in another class.ā€ Draken replied with a grunt.
ā€œCan we all skip instead? I wanna hang out with you guysss!ā€
ā€œNo. Third wheel.ā€ You said, crossing you arms.
ā€œHmph! Fine then! Iā€™m leaving! You guys are mean!ā€ Mikey said stomping out of the classroom.
After he left you and Draken started laughing.
ā€œHe is such a kid! PFFT-ā€œ
ā€œHe is, he is my bestfriend tho.ā€
ā€œWait! Does this mean we got to babysit him together now?ā€¦ weā€™re gonna get called his parents nowwwwā€ you complained.
ā€œIs that a bad thing?ā€ Draken asked looking at you.
ā€œWell- no but-ā€œ
ā€œOh! {Last Name} and and Ryuguji youā€™re both here early.ā€ Your teacher Mr. ***** said as he entered the room.
ā€œHuh?- oh yeah, morning.ā€ You said. You were a little thrown off as you had forgotten that people would be coming into class soon.
ā€œOh- sorry was I interrupting something?ā€
ā€œNo sir.ā€ Draken replied for you.
Mr. ***** squinted at the both of you and then smiled. ā€œI see.. you two are together now. Good for you.ā€
ā€œHuh?!/How did you?!-ā€œ you and Draken shouted at the same time.
ā€œI always knew this was gonna happen. Just take your seats aight kiddos?ā€ Your teacher said as he organized his desk.
You and Draken sat down in your seats and looked at each other.
ā€œSoooā€¦ wanna go on a date later?ā€ You asked awkwardly.
Draken smiled and nodded. ā€œThatā€™d be nice.ā€
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thefanficmonster Ā· 4 years ago
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corpse x reader headcanon where corpse talks about how his s/o has severe abandonment issues and is really clingy and he doesnt mind it despite haters saying otherwise?
Oooh this is gonna be a bit angsty, just a heads up. Still, I hope you enjoy it ~ šŸ’•
Pairing: Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Fear of abandonment, Past relationship trauma
- You'd never had someone like this
- Someone to talk to about anything
- Someone to hold your hand through everything
- Someone to feel for you and you for them
- You never thought you'd find that someone either
- You had given up on the hopes long ago so you reluctance at the beginning of your relationship with Corpse was completely understandable
- You were quick to speak on your concerns, all those little demons that arise in your head whenever you step in a new relationship of any kind, especially romantic
- The way you grew attached to people so quickly and so strongly could easily be used against you one way or another
- And, more often than not, the people you found yourself in a relationship with used it to their advantage, not giving a crap that they were hurting you in the process
- It always seemed to be the same pattern: you met someone, grew attached, became prepared to do anything to avoid losing them (even things you wouldn't typically agree to), they'd use you, they'd leave you and you'd still think it was all your fault
- Getting yourself hurt over and over again didnā€™t stop you from getting attached to a person just as or even more intensely the next time around
- All you wanted was someone whoā€™d stay
- All you wanted was for people to stop leaving you
- And Corpse was quick to become that someone to you
- Seeing his caring and endearing nature, you immediately started feeling bold, well as bold as you could be after so many falls in your life
- He wasnā€™t simply sympathetic when you expressed your struggles to him but he also understood them to a new level
- A level close to the one youā€™ve been on all your life
- Thatā€™s why the connection between the two of you was immediately stronger in comparison to any other you may have felt
- Truth be told, there was never really a connection with those people before him, the ones who left you, you just wanted someone by your side and didnā€™t allow yourself to see your worth to avoid picking the wrong choices
- To you it always seemed like you were the wrong choice
- But still, Corpse chose you, he chose to stay
- Cause he wanted to, cause he loved and cared for you
- That being said, you two have rarely been apart since you got together
- Youā€™ve been joining him on his streams, either just hanging out in the recording room with him or even playing with him and his friends if he manages to convince
- He rarely succeeds though, seeing as how youā€™re very timid when it comes to his friend group, a shyness you canā€™t quite explain
- It applies to his stream in general too
- You donā€™t want to think about how many eyes and ears are observing you when youā€™re playingĀ 
- And you had every right to be concerned about being so exposed, mostly cause people - jealous people aka haters - used this exposure of yours to look for your flaws and use them to speak negatively of you online
- Luckily, Corpse was quick to catch onto the things being said about you and to say he wasnā€™t happy about it would be an understatementĀ 
- He refused to let anyone speak ill of you and the comments they were making about you - calling you a clingy, annoying gold-digger - lit a feverous, angry fire in him, rendering him restless until he ultimately faced all those haters behind their screens head-on
- He organized a whole stream to address this issue, delicately explaining the situation, your relationship and your abandonment issues
- He made it clear that what they refer to as ā€˜clinginessā€™ to him is the affection heā€™s always wanted to receive but never thought he would because of how closed-off he is and how little human interaction he gets in his daily life
- ā€œWhat you call clinginess has turned me into a better person. And who you call an annoying gold digger is the love of my life. So watch yourselves, you can talk shit about me all you want, but one bad word about Y/N is more than enough to set me off. They deserve nothing but the best this world has to offer and theyā€™re most certainly not deserving of all this hate you throw their way because you are unhappy with yourselvesā€
- Little did he know you were listening to his whole speech, tears brimming your eyes as his words sunk in, repeating in your head over and over again
- It was his promise to never have you hurt, to never break your heart, to never get tired of you
- To never abandon you
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6okuto Ā· 3 years ago
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Oh my god i had s galaxy brain moment imagine rime/mc in a enemies to friends/lovers or just a love hate type of thing and like they insult eachother all the time n yk how it goes n then mc gets hurt 20000 bonus points if rime hurts them (intentionally or not idk idc both workšŸ¤¤) n then he realizes what happend/what he did n its super angsty from there ugh who needs therapy when this shit is fast affordable and easy? I was gonna say cheap too but that's literally the same as affordable what's wrong w mešŸ¤ØšŸ¤ØšŸ¤ØšŸ¤ØšŸ¤Ø
ā€” rime accidentally hurting mc
note from nia: REAL. my headcanons could never do that the justice it deserves but fawk i can definitely give you a headstart. merry christmas anon
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when he realizes, he isn't a shakey whispering "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry," kind of person. more of a panicked, dropping his weapon, "shit. fuck, fuck fuck fuckā€” no no no," kind of person
he is really understanding what felix went through when he died right now!! rime is truly understanding the fear!!
if the others are there he starts yelling. like straight up yelling for them to bring him help, stop the bleeding, do something, anything.
he gets kind of cautious the days following because. hello.
like you notice him stealing glances at you but turning away when you walk through the door because he can't make eye contact
the other three LI's check in on you, but never rime
you ask how rime's doing and they don't know what to say because to be honest he's been quieter and agitated,, no witty remarks, he isn't even around a lot
you have to find him yourself and say Can You Be Normal Please.
ohhhh. "what is wrong with youā€”" "what's wrong with me? i hurt you and you're asking me what's wrong?" "i know it was an accident, rime. i don't understandā€”" "An accident? An accidentā€”what does that change, mc?! I could have killed you."
angry crying . tears and rage and tears and rage
he doesn't understand why you would even try to empathize. he wants you to be angry and cold and "why can't you just make this easier and hate me again"
felix ch. 10/11 spoilers // when he watches felix die and he almost kills escell except now that rage is turned onto himself and he doesn't know how to deal with it.
like. if you had progressed enough to not consider yourselves enemies...and you had gotten along even just the day before...and he had started to like you? only for him to go and hurt you?? it eats him alive.
felix ch. 12 // plus that little thing you say to him before he leaves about having to try harder. being better. it's looping in his head along with the look on your face when he hurt you . help him
you try to lighten the mood and reassure him and he feels like he's going to scream
"i almost killed you," "you're acting like that's a new occurrence for me." "god, can you ever justā€”you're so annoying."
"i'm not...i never planned to hold this against you." "why not? i would." "do i look like you, little deer man?" "don't get smart with me right now, mc."
i think you need to hug him. approaching slowly and pulling him into your chest while he doesn't reject it because he's tired and confused and overwhelmed. you get it
i need someone to write actual words and finish this for me. for us as a community
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shotorozu Ā· 4 years ago
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Hi šŸ„ŗšŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼. I saw that your requests were open and I really love your writing. Idk if youā€™d feel comfort writing this or not, but Iā€™ll give it a shot. Bakugou with a pregnant s/o who is constant doing reckless things (like climbing on top of chairs to take stuff off the top shelf in her closet, or insisting that sheā€™s in perfect shape to do her hero patrols etc) and just over-protective Bakugou. Please if you can. Itā€™s been on my mind for awhile. It would be so cute šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ’–
careless & pregnant s/o
character(s) : bakugou katsuki (bnha)
legend : [Y/N = your name] pro hero au! fem! reader, reader is also a pro hero, quirk not specific
headcanon type : a lil angsty, fluffy at the end though (x reader)
note(s) : made y/n stubborn, and lowkey annoying because yeah,, not used to making y/n like this, it kinda annoyed me too at this point since i NEVER write y/n like this. but i gave it a shot, and i hope itā€™s not too overbearing to the point it makes people wanna log off šŸ’€
and i know you were expecting cutesy stuff but sorry,, this is kinda angsty.
Ā»Ā»ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”-怀ā™”怀ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”-Ā«Ā«
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bakugou katsuki
almost passes away on the spot when he sees you climbing on the counter
ā€œwhat the fuck are you doingā€” get off the counter, now!ā€ he says as he gently gets you off the counter
youā€™re strong, a little stubborn. a trait that he has learned to mostly love and sometimes hate, in this caseā€” he hates it.
like what the hell are you doing, going around line a recently freed chimpanzee?? have you forgotten that youā€™re bearing his child??
he triesā€” nah, he is soft with you, i swear. especially since a literal human is developing inside of you
literally stares at you like šŸ¤Ø when you insist that youā€™re in a perfect state, and that youā€™re ā€˜not fragileā€™
ā€œi know that,ā€ he states, surprisingly calm ā€œbut you literally canā€™t be doing shit like that. no more carrying and climbing on of cabinets and counters, kay? want the babyā€™s mama to be in top condition.ā€
and you agreed, and everything seemed fine
until he gets word that youā€™ve tried doing hero work while he was gone, and when you were SUPPOSED to be in bed
heā€™s kinda mad, itā€™s not even funny.
scenario
youā€™re stubborn, and he knows that well. if anything, he has grown some resistance to it, and he has even developed some sort of liking towards it
but this is going too farā€” even for someone like him. he doesnā€™t know how much he could take it, if you were to continue like this.
when you meet him, heā€™s silent, and his stare is hard, those classic vermilion eyes arenā€™t meeting youā€” and it almost makes you regret doing all of that (which rightfullyā€” you should be regretting it.)
ā€œare you mad?ā€ you dare to ask, and he doesnā€™t feel like replying. after allā€” he wants to be patient with you, and he definitely doesnā€™t want to be saying stuff, only to be regretting them some time later. he might be irritated by your actions, but he definitely doesnā€™t want to hurt your feelings.
ā€œare you mad?ā€ he repeats, using finger air quotations, ā€œā€˜course i am. are you nuts?ā€
you frown, ā€œi donā€™t want to be a liability. i know that iā€™m pregnant and all, but i shouldnā€™t be slacking off. iā€™m not like everyone else, yā€™know?ā€
ā€œthatā€™s it. thatā€™s the point. youā€™re not like everyone elseā€ the blond sternly says, the roomā€™s deafening with itā€™s silence, when the blond says nothing for a few short seconds ā€œyouā€™re pregnant. with my kid, i should remind you. maybe at this point, i should just write it on a piece of paper, and pin it on the fridge or somethinā€™.ā€
youā€™re irritated, but definitely not on the same level of irritation as himā€” let alone, when he first got word of your little attempt. ā€œi donā€™t get why youā€™re mad.ā€
ā€œyou donā€™t?ā€
ā€œyeah, honestly.ā€
ā€œlisten,ā€ he huffs, ā€œyouā€™re pregnant. ya hear me? what if you fell down when you climbed on those fuckinā€™ cabinets? what if you went out during patrol, and someone attacked you? do you even hear yourself?ā€ he could feel the volume of his voice increasing, he canā€™t really help it
ā€œkatsukā€”ā€
ā€œno, you listen,ā€ he stares straight into your eyes, making sure that you remember every single thing he has to say. ā€œi canā€™t have you getting hurt, and i canā€™t have you stressing out. itā€™s not good for the little brat. and i donā€™t care if you think youā€™ll be a liability, because youā€™re not!ā€” okay?ā€ he scolds, theres a strong sense of anger sporting his features, but you can tell that heā€™s trying his best not to unleash it onto you.
he seems too angry to continue, like he has had enough. because as soon as he finishes talking, he leavesā€” the sound of mini explosions popping echo throughout the room, and the sound of the door closing has you thinking to yourself, and reflecting about your previous actions.
afterwards, he gets kirishima and mina to monitor you in personā€” making sure you donā€™t push yourself, or do anything stupid while heā€™s out
and they agree with himā€” saying that you really shouldnā€™t be doing hero work while pregnant, and being reckless during pregnancy isnā€™t something anyone wants their pregnant s/o to have as a trait.
ā€œheā€™s right, yā€™know,ā€ kirishima sighs, ā€œin a way, it must suck being stuck in the house. if i were you, i wouldā€™ve done the same.ā€
ā€œexcluding the hero work part.ā€ mina adds, ā€œi mean, what if you did fall? we canā€™t have the little one getting hurt, right?ā€
thereā€™s a pit in your stomachā€” one thatā€™s not your unborn child, and a sense of guilt engulfs you whole
ā€œso, what should i do?ā€ you want to fix things, and you want to reassure him that he wonā€™t be seeing the careless while pregnant Y/N ever again
ā€œtalk to him.ā€
so you do, sitting (or laying down with him,) after he gets home. heā€™s calmer, and he doesnā€™t seem mad anymoreā€” the tense mood still lingering around.
ā€œiā€™m sorry.ā€ you start, ā€œthereā€™s,, really no excusing it. iā€™m going to be a mother, i cannot be doing stuff like hero work, and just,, being reckless overall. i know youā€™re just looking out for me, and our child.ā€
ā€œso, iā€™ll listen. iā€™ll really take things easier from here on out.ā€
ā€œpromise?ā€
ā€œi promise.ā€ a smile breaks on his face, and a sense of relief courses throughout your body
ā€œgood. i was gonna strap you onto the bed, if you werenā€™t going to listen.ā€
so you complied, and took it easy. and a few months laterā€” you gave birth to a healthy baby!
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littlemisslipbalm Ā· 4 years ago
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ā€œyou make me so angry sometimesā€
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idk if this gif makes sense, but i feel like it will if you read the story, it just gives me that vibe.Ā 
A one shot I cooked up idk, itā€™s about Harry and a makeup artist on DWD, itā€™s quite angsty, idk how that happened, itā€™s also very long, idk how that happened either, maybe i do a part 2, maybe i donā€™t idk lmk. Feedback is appreciated, not proofread. REBLOGS help writers tremendously and i love reading whatever you write in the tags its my favorite thing!! Love yall and Merry Christmas!
Word Count: 17.7k | Warnings:Ā ENEMIES to LOVERS! swearing, angst!, some anxiety -like self-doubt, yn being mean to harry kind of a lot, i dont remember, nothing too crazy, Nick Kroll?, lots of conversation
-
When she pictured herself as a makeup artist in Los Angeles, she hadnā€™t pictured exactly what she was doing right now.
She had expected doing gorgeous makeup for gorgeous actresses or doing wildly fun stuff like in Euphoria. And because of that she had worked her ass off to get where she was today. She had practiced for hours, worked countless hours for free, and networked to the cows came fucking home.
So why the fuck was she using tattoo-strength concealer to cover up the maybe 60 tattoos some asshole musician turned actor had all over?
Donā€™t Worry Darling was her first major film to work on so she couldnā€™t complain. She was happy to simply be there. Well she had been. The first day she had showed up 15 minutes early and had worn her favorite power suit she had. It was dark navy with a white lace long sleeve turtleneck underneath. She hoped to look fun but professional.
Hollywood was all about impressions, especially first ones, even when youā€™re the makeup artist. She had quickly learned that she was one of six makeup artists. One of them being the friend who had helped her get the job, Angie. Angie was like her surrogate mother in Los Angeles that she had met on her first film job for something much less high profile than Olivia Wildeā€™s second directing project. Her braided grey hair and fabulous jeans had drawn Y/N right in and they had connected instantly.
Since Y/N was deemed the most inexperienced by the head of the makeup department, she was relegated to easier jobs: assisting the other artists on main characters sometimes, mostly dealing with minor characters touch ups (and full make-up if she was lucky), and the job nobody wanted: tattoo coverage.
Harry Styles was one of the leads for the film and besides his minimal acting, everyone knew he was a worldwide rockstar. With the rock and roll life starting off as a popstar life at the ripe age of 16, he had amassed around 60 tattoos in the past decade. Impressive by her standard normally. She usually counted herself as an appreciator of tattoos and their art, finding them similar to makeup and the self expression that came with both forms. Especially since she had a few of her own, but when she walked into Trailer #6 and saw a good amount of Harryā€™s tattoos, she wanted to murder every artist heā€™d ever been to.
She had to make an inventory the first day of all of his visible tattoos when he was just wearing boxers. He had been friendly, trying to make conversation, but as the time wore on, they both grew tired and silent. She had to write down the location and a description of every tattoo and as he took off everything but boxers she grew more and more annoyed with his random and dumb tattoos. Some of them were amazing, the eagle, the anchor, the butterfly, and the ferns were probably her favorites. But some of them, she couldn't hold back her rolling eyes and annoyed expressions. The ā€œBigā€ on his right big toe, a miniscule lock, almost everything on his inner left arm (the packers logo, Pingu, etc.)
She traces at the rose and the ship and then flips his arm out to reveal his inner arm to her gaze. ā€œThat is a big fucking bee.ā€
He snickers, ā€œYā€™like it?ā€
She ignores his question. ā€œFor godā€™s sake, someone is needle happy,ā€ she said as she examined his left arm, taking note of every permanent drawing.
He shrugs his right shoulder, uninhibited by her prodding. ā€œDunno, beginning to regret some of them.ā€
ā€œI would hope,ā€ she mutters, scribbling on her paper the various ones she had just seen on his arm. Next was his ribcage ones.
He scoffs, ā€œOi, itā€™s not like you havenā€™t got any.ā€
ā€œHow would you-ā€ She looks at him wide eyed.
ā€œRightā€¦ā€ he takes his right hand and pushes her hair past her ear to reveal three little red line butterflies following the curve of her ear, ā€œThere. At least.ā€
She huffs and knocks his hand away from her. Her hair falling back into its place.
ā€œMaybe some located in a few more intimate places Iā€™m guessing from the red rushing to your cheeks right now.ā€
ā€œCan you just let me do my job,ā€ she says, not giving in to his teasing or sparing him a glance as she feels his intense gaze on her face. She was studying his left rib cage where a few cool tattoos happened to be.
ā€œYou at least have some taste or persuasive artists because not all of these are shit,ā€ she speaks again after just the sound of her pen on the paper filled the trailer.
ā€œGee, thanks,ā€ he laughs unamused and rolls his large green eyes.
She thought he had some of the biggest eyes sheā€™d ever seen. But she also knew to keep that to herself because heā€™d either take it as a compliment and think she was noticing him too much or heā€™d take it as a massive insult and get her fired.
His right hand taps at his thigh, tapping a rhythm she didnā€™t care to pay any attention too. She just wanted to finish the stupid inventory of the stupid tattoos on this stupid man.
ā€œTake those off,ā€ she says to Harry, looking back at her clipboard again, filling up quickly with her notes.
He stands there, staring at her stubbornly. He was entirely bored with this exercise, especially since his company was some of the worst heā€™s ever had. She spares him a glance when she doesnā€™t notice any slipping off of the colorful sweatpants heā€™s wearing.
She arches a brow at him, her pen tapping impatiently against the paper. ā€œGo on. Canā€™t imagine you want this to go on longer than it already has.ā€
He rolls his eyes again, slipping his thumbs into the waistline of the pants and tugging down. Simultaneously, he toes off the dirty vans he seemed to wear everywhere. The fabric pools easily and he steps out of them and discards them on the couch behind him. Heā€™s actually wearing black briefs. She chooses not to notice anything further than that.
ā€œSocks...can stay on,ā€ She tries to say as he begins to peel one off. He stops midway and nods.
She flings his shirt to him, not needing to see his naked torso for another moment, ā€œI know youā€™ve got some feet and ankle tats, but I also know that you wonā€™t be wearing anything that will expose them. Thank your lucky stars that I donā€™t have to makeup your feet.ā€
He catches the shirt easily and slips his arms inside before tugging it quickly over his head and over his expansive shoulders. The ferns disappear out of sight.
ā€œWell then weā€™re almost done then. Just got the knee ones -ā€
ā€œAnd the tiger. Thatā€™s gonna be one son of a bitch,ā€ she sighs and examines his legs, not bothering to crouch.
ā€œWhat the actual fuck dude?ā€ Her tone is exasperate and like she would rather be anywhere else than here.
ā€œIā€™m sorry?ā€ He sputters, hands on his hips and eyes bewildered.
ā€œYes. No. Oui. Non. Who are you?ā€ She rubs at her eyes and shakers her head.
ā€œSā€™a little rude.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re right,ā€ she semi-rushes out at his serious tone, ready to apologize. When a grin spreads over his face and he chuckles under his breath she really wants to smack him upside the head. He was exhausting. ā€œYouā€™re unbelievable.ā€
ā€œThought it was funny at the time. Kind of think itā€™s even funnier now since itā€™s got you all mad.ā€ He leans over her shoulder to look at her notes and when she glances at him unhappily he just looks smug.
ā€œAlright,ā€ she finishes the scribble of a description and clicks the end of her pen, ā€œAll done. You can get dressed. Iā€™ll see you bright and early for tattoo makeup. Itā€™s gonna take about an hour to do all this, just so you can mentally prepare for that.ā€
ā€œIt was nice to meet you,ā€ he attempts at a friendly and professional farewell. ā€œSee you tomorrowā€¦ā€ he trails off as he watches her turn on her heel and walk out of the trailer door swiftly. The door swung shut and bounced a little bit in her wake.
Harry sighed and adjusted his clothes and hair in the mirror. After a moment he shakes his head, an even louder sigh escaping him.
-
ā€œGood morning!ā€ She greets happily, walking into the trailer without a knock. Well-rested and happy at least that she doesnā€™t have to just inspect a body, she looks around the trailer.
She realizes no one is there and sheā€™s taken aback. First of all, if Harry wasnā€™t there then he shouldnā€™t have left his trailer unlocked. And second, he was fucking late, the fucking twat.
She grumbles, setting her coffee on the countertop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. ā€œIn through the nose, out through the mouthā€ she mutters. She knew this was a big opportunity and having a big star like Harry in her corner could make her career. She needed them to get off on a better foot today.
ā€œGood form, Iā€™d say relax the shoulders a little more,ā€ the door swings open carrying the California twang-British accent that she would soon become all too accustomed to.
Harry points at her shoulders and narrows his eyes regarding her in the trailer. She offers a strained smile through the mirror and Harry sets down his personal things on the couch. Ā 
ā€œAlright, well letā€™s get started shall we,ā€ she smiles and turns to him, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her.
He nods, a twinkle in his eye as he regards her. Heā€™s unsure of the tone and attitude sheā€™s giving him today. She had been feisty yesterday, cordial at times, but mostly biting and witty. He had liked it. It had made the whole ordeal bearable whereas now she seemed to be laying it on a little thick.
ā€œJust your hands and neck today,ā€ she says, pulling out the makeup materials needed and a checklist of the tattoos she needed to make sure were invisible.
ā€œShould only take..a little under an hour today. Just gonna remind you now though, other days we wonā€™t be so lucky.ā€
Harry chuckles under his breath and rolls his head around his shoulders before sitting in the chair. ā€œWere you tired yesterday?ā€ He inquires.
ā€œWhy do you ask?ā€ She throws a glance over her shoulder at Harry. Heā€™s begun slipping off his sweatshirt and yawns as he does it.
ā€œYou seem different from yesterday and Iā€™m just wondering which one is the real you.ā€
She continues working about the room and rolls her eyes to herself, ā€œIā€™m always the real me. I come no other way, but this morning I woke up and thought ā€˜this is the job youā€™ve fucking wanted for ages, so stop being such a bitch so you donā€™t get fired, you prickā€™.ā€ She pauses and turns to face Harry. ā€œThe ā€˜you prickā€™ was directed at me, that was still part of my thought,ā€ she adds.
He throws his head back and laughs. Then he nods, still laughing lightly, ā€œI get that. Sometimes Iā€™m just so in my head and yesterday I was just so fuckinā€™ bored. Sorry if I got on your nerves.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t mention it.ā€ She waves her hand at him nonchalantly. Ā 
Then she moves to inspect his hands and notices the lack of rings, unlike yesterday when she had to make him take them off.
ā€œYou have amazing cuticles,ā€ she notices and mentions without any pretences. Harry mutters his thanks, pursing his lips as he watches her work.
She stops her inspection and places the clipboard on the countertop in front of them.
ā€œCould you take your necklaces off? I need to cover up half of the swallows and the years, for when you unbutton your shirt a bit.ā€
He wets his lips and nods, hands going to fiddle with the clasps behind his neck. He slips off one of the necklaces with ease, a yellow eye beaded necklace that he lays gently on the countertop next to the clipboard. Then he takes his cross and pulls it over his head, no clasp needed.
ā€œCould I put some music on?ā€ Harry asks after five minutes of Y/N working in silence and Harry only being able to stare either at himself, her work, or nowhere.
ā€œI can,ā€ she stops her work for a moment, ā€œCanā€™t have you messing up the makeup before it sets. Otherwise Iā€™d have to kill you.ā€ Harry canā€™t be sure if sheā€™s joking or not. Therefore, he was intent on not messing it up.
ā€œAny requests?ā€ She stands at the counter now, instead of seated on a stool working on Harry's left hand.
He shrugs, like he hasnā€™t got the faintest idea about good music. She refrains from rolling her eyes once again because she feels herself in a test. She wets her lips, sifting through different things in her Spotify and then lands on her playlist titled ā€œitā€™s your songā€ named after Elton Johnā€™s song. It had some other musicians, a mix of Queen, Bowie, and more and she was sure she would pass the test.
She presses shuffle and Sheā€™s Always A Woman by Billy Joel begins to play over her laptop. Harry nods pleased and she wants to shake her head at him.
She canā€™t hold back the scoff though after a moment of going back to finishing his hand.
ā€œWhat?ā€ His British accent thickens with his annoyance growing.
ā€œNothing,ā€ she chirps, intently putting the final touches on his wrist.
ā€œSeriously. What?ā€
She stands and sets down the makeup. ā€œCan you unbutton your shirt?ā€ She made a note to herself that from now on sheā€™d have to have him take his shirt off before setting to work because if his hands got messed up sheā€™d have to start over. Thankfully he was already wearing a button up this morning.
He stares at her, offering no movement, just inquisitively waiting for her to respond to his original question.
She shuts her eyes, taking another deep breath and then bites at her lower lip. ā€œItā€™s just...youā€™re so easy to read.ā€ She fears adding anything else and moves towards him with the makeup hoping to encourage him to unbutton his shirt. Ā 
His right hand deftly pulls at the buttons as he regards her. His eyes are intent on her, she can see him clearly calculating her. Her green paisley button up tucked up into the back of her bra leaving a splay of her stomach. The semi-balloon sleeves cinched at the wrists leading to her slightly ringed hands. The oversized blue jeans that have no holes, just a tiny patch right next to the left pocket. The frayed ends of the pants laying over her rather pristine white old skool vans.
The BoxerĀ fades in as she waits for him to finish the unbuttoning of the shirt. Heā€™s still staring at her.
ā€œAm I?ā€ He finally inquires, voice pitched higher like he doesnā€™t believe her.
She gives him a serious stare and leans over him and adjusts the collar of his shirt. She adds paper towels to avoid makeup on his clothes. Ā 
ā€œYes!ā€ She laughs, ā€œAnd you donā€™t even think so, which is like...of course.ā€
He hums, tilting his head back as she sets to work on covering up the swallows. He wiggles his hands that now both rest on the arm chairs.
ā€œI donā€™t see it.ā€
ā€œOf course you donā€™t,ā€ she glances at his face, their eyes meeting for a moment. ā€œYouā€™re Harry Styles. Everyone is in love with this image you created for yourself and it has just enough of your true self that people feel like they really know you, but you also maintain the illusion. So you think youā€™re this mysteriously amazing, not like the rest guy, but you areĀ just like the rest of them. Obsessed with yourself and rich so youā€™re deemed eccentric rather than crazy for all the extravagant shit you do. So when you want me to play music and donā€™t offer any suggestions I know exactly what music I need to play for you to like me.ā€
ā€œI feel like that last part says more about you than it does me,ā€ he quirks a brow at her, straining his neck to look at her face as she continues to work.
She flushes, his response both better and worse than she expected. She had gotten a little carried away in her response and she had no idea why. She truly wasnā€™t one to go off on people so easily and especially not with someone she hardly knew, but something about Harry had her on edge. She was just thankful he hadnā€™t gotten mad at her response, instead he took it in stride. Further proving her point that he was extremely smart and did things purposefully and she saw right through it all.
She grumbles, ā€œIt says that all anyone has to do to get close to you is understand the smallest bit about you and youā€™ll let them in.ā€
ā€œThat is just so completely wrong, Y/N, I hate to break it to you.ā€ Itā€™s Harry rolling his eyes now, unable to move much more of his body as she continues painting on the concealer to remove his tattoos for the movie.
ā€œFine. Enlighten me on what I got wrong.ā€
Their argument had all but drowned out their music. They both did love this music and ironically if they would just shut their mouths, theyā€™d probably like each other a lot more.
ā€œMight as well,ā€ he sighs. ā€œFirst of all, my image is authentic and of course I donā€™t want to give myself all away. I enjoy my privacy and for everyone to truly know me Iā€™d have to give that up. Which Iā€™m not keen on. So, I regret to inform you but I am the same guy everyone is ā€œin love withā€. Second, I know I am a little self-involved, how else would I get here if I wasnā€™t constantly taking inventory of myself and reevaluating who I am. As a musician, I want to give as much of myself as possible or else it just feels inauthentic. And the extravagant thing, I canā€™t help that I like nice things and my job has allowed me to afford those things.ā€
He stops to take a deep breath and sheā€™s working in stunned silence, in disbelief that Harry is even telling her any of this or that heā€™s spoken that much and so quickly. Wasnā€™t he notorious for speaking slowly with barely even a sentence worth of actual information. He sounds tired and frustrated, but also, surprisingly, sincere.
He continues, ā€œThe music thing. Maybe it was a test, but still it doesnā€™t mean I give everyone a mile when they say their favorite musicians match up with mine or something. I note that they either did their homework or might be an interesting person to get to know.ā€
ā€œSo which am I?ā€ She widens her eyes.
ā€œObviously the second even if youā€™re also making it painfully clear that you donā€™t like me.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re smarter than I thought, Harry. Iā€™ll give you that,ā€ she smirks slyly, finishing up the bird coverage now.
He laughs. ā€œThanks,ā€ he drawls out.
ā€œAnd I admit that maybe you arenā€™t as easy to read as I made out, but I think weā€™re going to have to agree to disagree about the whole being your authentic self. I just donā€™t buy it. I can see your mind working constantly, youā€™re not one to just let yourself be free in public. And Iā€™m not saying thatā€™s a bad thing, Iā€™m just saying, you shouldnā€™t pretend like thatā€™s not what youā€™re doing.ā€
Her final thought leaves Harry silent. She pays no attention to his silence or at least sheā€™s actively ignoring it. Instead she tunes back into the music that had gotten them back onto the wrong foot. This was going to be a long few months.
When sheā€™s satisfied with her work, she has them sit there for thirty minutes to give it all time to set before Harry is off to hair and other makeup. They sit there listening to music. Neither of them have spoken again, except instructions from her and Harryā€™s hums of approval of songs. Ā 
Harry stands up after thirty minutes as she stays behind to pack up some items. Just as heā€™s about to step out of the door, he turns and calls her name.
ā€œFor the record, I donā€™t think youā€™re giving me a fair shot. You said yourself that youā€™re different every day. That every version of you, is you. So I hope youā€™ll give me the same allowance, every version of me is me. In this trailer, in my music videos, on tv, in interviews, in my free time. Itā€™s all truly me.ā€
She bites her inner cheek as he ducks his head and exits the trailer, not allowing her any response.
-
ā€œYouā€™re late!ā€
ā€œMeeting ran over with Nick and Olivia. Sorry,ā€ Harry says as he begins to undress.
Itā€™s the first day she has to cover all of his tattoos. It was going to take forever by all accounts. It had been two weeks since shooting had begun and she had gotten the simple hands and neck down to 45 minutes so she could only dread what his entire body would take.
ā€œItā€™s fine,ā€ she grumbles, knowing there wasnā€™t really anything else she could say about him coming late from a meeting with the director and producer.
Over the last two weeks, they hadnā€™t grown any fonder of one another. Not at all. They at least had gotten into a system though and she was grateful for that at least.
They showed up, Harry got in his chair, she set up the music, and they got to work. Harry would practice lines on some days and heā€™d tell her that before she turned on the music so there were no interruptions. Sometimes they talked about stuff on set or music or sheā€™d give Harry his line when he was trying to be off script and forgot one. She wouldnā€™t classify it as pleasant, but they werenā€™t at each other throats like they were originally.
Trailer 6 had gotten a little homier as the weeks went by, too. Harry began leaving some of his stuff there and he started putting up silly drawings he would make while on set or polaroids people had taken with him while he was there. He tacked up napkins of restaurants that catered the set and wrote funny jokes and quotes on post it notes. His personal assistants sometimes brought in snacks while Y/N was still working and Harry always offered her some. They were usually healthy, but sometimes sheā€™d eat some. Jeff, his manager, had also stopped by on occasion during his tattoo touch-ups that had become a thing after shooting days had grown longer.
On first meeting, Jeff had said, ā€œY/N? Harry mentioned you.ā€
She had turned to Harry with an arched brow and he had shrugged. When she looked back at Jeff she didnā€™t see Harry give Jeff one of the deadliest looks he could muster. She had grimaced and said ā€œWell we spend enough time together for him to know my name. So thank god for that at least.ā€
They had all laughed and she had gotten back to work on Harryā€™s wrist.
Today, she needed Harry in his shorts. It was the first day of shooting where his character would be only in his boxers so she had to cover up all his visible tattoos. Olivia had told the makeup department they actually had to cover up his feet tattoos as well. She wanted him sockless in the scene and Y/N had groaned immediately when she made it to the trailer and Harry wasnā€™t already there.
ā€œBut please, for the sake of my job, strip, dude.ā€ She says, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the counter as she watched Harry set his things down. Her soft green striped cardigan is open, exposing the white tank top sitting underneath. Her bright green shorts hang loose on her, cinched at the waist and folded over once. Her white high top nikeā€™s tap impatiently on the floor, waiting for Harry to get moving.
He nodded, truly feeling sorry for his tardiness, knowing today was a long day. He was anxious and tired. Acting was a different experience to music and he just was really trying his best.
As he began to take off his shirt, he laughed. His arms pulled the shirt over his head and when it popped out from beneath it, he repeated, ā€œStrip, dude,ā€ attempting to mimic her American accent.
He had practiced his American accent in front of her while running lines, but it had a 50ā€™s drawl to it. His acting coach had been drilling him for weeks before shooting and he still liked to practice. The accent he had just down was far off from that and far off from hers too.
ā€œDo not,ā€ she warned.
ā€œWhat?ā€ He asks innocently and flutters his eyelashes.
She knows his game by now and she knows she should just ignore him. She knows this after fourteen days. She knows this after hours with him. She knows this, but then sheā€™s opening her mouth and playing into his teases.
ā€œSorry, whatā€™s a word you would know? Mate?ā€ She tries for a British accent with the last word, knowing she canā€™t win this.
Harry snickers and scratches at his nose with his index finger before starting on taking off his pants. ā€œYouā€™re so Californian.ā€
ā€œThank you,ā€ she chirps, moving to sit beside him now that he had settled.
ā€œI like your shorts,ā€ he muses, crossing his legs, likely a little cold.
She glances down at her cotton shorts that showed more of her thighs when she sat for a moment before returning her gaze to his left arm. The longest task of the day was this damn arm.
ā€œThanks,ā€ she mumbles, ā€œWanted to be comfortable today. Knew it was gonna be long.ā€
A smile bubbles onto his face, his pink lips parting to reveal his shiny white teeth behind them. ā€œSo true.ā€
The music is low today. She had chosen Joni Mitchelā€™s Blue album for the first pick of the day. She had quickly learned Harry preferred listening to albums in order. It tended to make him less jumpy when the same artist came on multiple times like an album. So when she tried to play just an album one day, she found him more cooperative and less irritable.
After thirty minutes of work, she canā€™t stop noticing how shivery Harry is. It was late October in LA, so it was still warm, but admittedly the mornings could be a little chilly. His shivering was concerning for many reasons. Mainly he was messing up her work and concentration, but she also didnā€™t want him to get sick or something.
ā€œDo you want me to see if they have a blanket and slippers or something? You look like youā€™re turning blue.ā€
Harry turns his attention to her. He had been reading over the script for today again. ā€œThatā€™d be great. I can callā€¦ā€ He trails off trying to think of the name of one of his assistants, but apparently heā€™s too scatterbrained for it. She assumed it was the hypothermia traveling to his brain already.
ā€œDonā€™t worry about it, Iā€™ll walkie someone.ā€ She says as she grabs the walkie talkie, flicking to the personal assistants channel.
ā€œHey,ā€ she chirps happily. Harry noted how she talked to other people. So sweet, yet sincere. With him, it was serious and sincere but more biting, callous at times. Less so lately, but she definitely was sharper with him. He didnā€™t know if it even bothered him anymore. She was engaging if nothing else.
ā€œIs someone free to bring two blankets and menā€™s slippers over to Trailer 6? Iā€™ve got a naked Jack and I donā€™t want him freezing before Iā€™m done covering up his tattoos.ā€ She takes her finger off the talking button and glances sideways at him, ā€œWho knows, maybe that would improve his acting. Yā€™know on second-thought-ā€
ā€œAlright, alright,ā€ Harry tries to grab for the walkie talkie, but she turns from him holding a finger up signalling him to wait as she listens for a response.
Someone says a simple ā€œOn itā€ and she turns off the walkie talkie and gets back to work.
ā€œI took my finger off the speaker before I said the thing about your acting. Relax, Harry.ā€ She says when heā€™s still glaring at her. ā€œJust love to see you squirm.ā€
He shakes out his short chestnut hair, some of it falling over his forehead. Instinctively, she reaches up without even looking and smooths it back. Like she was tucking her own hair out of her eyes, but instead it was Harryā€™s. She decided to say nothing and was relieved when Harry didnā€™t say anything either.
She finishes his forearm and moves to his outer upper arm. The rose holds her attention when the PA knocks on the door and she has to race to get it. Nothing could stop her from moving on this work. It was already an hour in and she wanted to scream.
She swings open the door and she wants to die. It was Autumn. Her least favorite PA, of course. She was insufferable and obsessed with Harry. Which was not why Y/N found Autumn insufferable. There were so many more reasons. So many. But that particular character flaw didnā€™t help her case either. Y/N tried to just take the blankets and slippers from Autumn, but the woman insisted that she come in.
ā€œIā€™ve got it,ā€ Y/N says.
ā€œNo, donā€™t want you to get makeup on anything,ā€ Autumnā€™s saccharine voice grinds at her ears and she contemplates cutting them off.
Harry sat in his chair, legs crossed, nodding along to the music, his script discarded on the counter in front of him.
ā€œHi Harry!ā€ Autumn practically yells, walking right up to him.
Y/N takes a deep breath at the door, letting it swing shut. She bites her lower lip as an attempt to bite her tongue as she walks back to her set-up. The set-up Autumn was conveniently blocking.
ā€œHello, Autumn,ā€ Harry says kindly, making eye contact with her. ā€œHowā€™re you today?ā€
ā€œSo great! So great! Thanks for asking. How areĀ you?ā€ She points a finger at him like she might poke him and Harry squirms away from her a bit. She, of course, doesnā€™t notice this.
ā€œWell, thanks.ā€ His eyes flicker to Y/N, who is standing behind Autumn, hands on her hips and attempting not to tap her foot. His tone is clearly dismissive, but Autumn must ignore it. Y/N knows Autumn isnā€™t as helpless as she tries to come off.
Autumn asks, ā€œWhere do you want these?ā€, gesturing to the two blankets and slippers stacked on top.
ā€œJust on the counter is fine, thanks,ā€ Harry says.
Autumn does as he says and then stands there with baited breath. Y/Nā€™s not sure what sheā€™s expecting. For Harry to ask for her hand in marriage or something? But he just glances between the two women. His own foot begins wiggling in impatience.
ā€œBusy day,ā€ He attempts at dismissing her once again - with kindness.
ā€œOh my gosh, totally!ā€ Autumn gushes, starting to go off on all of the tasks she has to do. She stands so close to Harry, Y/N genuinely thinks sheā€™s going to sit in his lap. Y/N stares up to the ceiling, begging god or whoever to end her misery right there and then.
Harry sees Y/Nā€™s expression and tries to maintain the neutral expression heā€™s had for the entirely too long interaction. A smile threatens at his rosey lips that had chapped from the morning air.
ā€œRight, well,ā€ he cuts off Autumn, ā€œY/N needs to get back to tattoo coverage, I think. So...have a nice day.ā€
Autumnā€™s eyes widen like she forgot that there was anyone else in the room and steps back from Harry. Y/N nods, a grimace clear on her face. Autumn gives her the same small she used to get from the popular girls in high school when she happened to be talking to their cool guy friend that they wanted to be more than friends with. Sickeningly sweet and completely fake. She could see the contempt in Autumnā€™s eyes that swirled just beneath the surface of her perfectly outlined green-ish eyes.
ā€œOkay! You too, Harry!ā€ She begins walking to the door and Y/N takes her seat again, closing her eyes and counting to ten. ā€œAnd Y/N,ā€ Autumn adds as an afterthought.
ā€œOh my fucking god,ā€ Y/N sighs, her hands going to rub over her face and through her hair. ā€œThat was exhausting. Jesus Christ.ā€
ā€œWhat? Sheā€™s nice. Maybe a little clueless,ā€ Harry counters. ā€œBut she was so nice,ā€ he confirms again, seemingly trying to convince himself of it as well. Ā 
She grabs the slippers and slips them on the ground so Harry can put them on easily. Then one of the blankets that she drapes over Harryā€™s bottom half. He smiles at the gesture, a ā€˜thank youā€™ said in a whisper.
ā€œPlease, she knows what sheā€™s doing,ā€ Y/N scoffs, ā€œAnd sheā€™s obsessed with you!ā€ She grabs the concealer to get back to work, ā€œShe was all over you and never took her eyes off of your body. It was like she wanted to touch you or something. It was icky.ā€
ā€œYou touch me,ā€ Harry adds cheekily, adjusting beneath the warm blanket.
She laughs, a smile gracing her lips as she gives Harry a look. He was clever.
ā€œItā€™s my job to touch you, Harry.ā€
Harry had really tried to not laugh, but it was just so funny. They both snicker, their eyes meeting for a moment longer than usual.
ā€œSpeaking of my job,ā€ she adds after controlling her laughter, ā€œDoes she not realize just how long it takes to cover all of your bloody tattoos with this shit to make it look like youā€™re a pristine skinned 50ā€™s psycho killer?ā€
She finishes the rose coverup and moves to the ship. Harry nods solemnly.
ā€œItā€™s true...And it doesnā€™t help that youā€™re terrible at it, so it takes a thousand years longer than it should.ā€ He adds, laughter overtaking his serious tone at the end.
ā€œOh my god!ā€ She shrieks in delight, trying not to mess up her work, ā€œThat is so rude! I messed up one time - mostly because of you, by the way. And give me a break, this is so not what I thought Iā€™d be doing as a makeup artist for movies.ā€
He nods again, muttering ā€œFair, fair.ā€
They grow silent, enjoying Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the album that she had queued after Joniā€™s.
ā€œThe body thing, I just learned to ignore it, I think.ā€ Harry mutters, eventually, but itā€™s thoughtless, like heā€™s not revealing anything about himself with the statement. But it kind of shocks her. Her eyes widen and she stops her work to stare at his face.
ā€œHarry,ā€ she waits till his eyes meet hers, ā€œThatā€™s, like, not normal. Are you serious?ā€
ā€œI mean, Iā€™m very comfortable with my body, like I havenā€™t minded the last 45 minutes of sitting practically nude in front of you. And I have plenty of revealing photos out in the world. I just donā€™t notice staring anymore, itā€™s not, I donā€™t think itā€™s what youā€™re thinking,ā€ he tries to reassure her. His eyes are intent on hers, full of seriousness that hadnā€™t been there a few moments ago.
ā€œItā€™s one thing to be comfortable in your skin and another to be desensitized to objectification,ā€ she insists.
He nods. ā€œI know. Thank you. I would let you know if what she had done had bothered me, so donā€™t worry. I felt completely safe the whole time.ā€
ā€œGood,ā€ she nods back and concentrates again. ā€œGood,ā€ she repeats once more under her breath. There had been way too many distractions already today and she wasnā€™t even done with his arm yet.
As she continues to work up his arm, Harry sings along to some of the songs on Eltonā€™s album. He happily taps his feet to the different beats, now safely tucked in soft fluffy slippers. She would never admit just how amazing it is to be in the same room as Harryā€™s singing. It was truly special to be less than a foot from him and hear him sing just under the unique voice of Elton - who was someone he actually knew, which was equally as cool.
He hit every note and knew every word. She was impressed. How could she not be when a literal rockstar sat before her? This was the first time she was truly starstruck by her charge, Mr. Harry Styles.
By two hours, they had moved onto an album by Dolly Parton and they were both singing. They strangely had no fights today, maybe some snarky comments from both of them, but no outright mean-spirited words were exchanged.
She stood in front of Harry, finishing up the swallows. She had finished both arms and the birds, all she had left was moving down his body. Up next, the butterfly.
ā€œI love this tattoo,ā€ she mumbles, twisting Harryā€™s standing body to face her and taking her seat again. This left her eye to eye with the butterfly on his stomach.
He makes a surprised face and raises his recently plucked eyebrow at his counterpart. ā€œOh really?ā€
ā€œDonā€™t act so surprised. I told you day one that not all of them are rubbish and honestly theyā€™re all pretty cool. I just was so annoyed that I had gotten tattoo coverage as my job and then I had to go and index them all.ā€ She flicks her eyes up to his sculpted face and sees heā€™s watching her work. ā€œPlus, I have some butterflies of my own, remember?ā€ She grins.
ā€œYeah,ā€ he ponders her words, ā€œI donā€™t think thatā€™d put me in a good mood either.ā€
He pauses again and she continues to work silently.
ā€œSo whatā€™s your excuse for the second day then?ā€
ā€œYou provoked me,ā€ she doesnā€™t spare him a glance, shrugging like it was the simplest answer in the world.
ā€œPardon?ā€
ā€œLetā€™s not go down this road again, Harry.ā€ She sighs, smoothing over the freshly covered butterfly tattoo. His sternum looked so naked, it was unnerving. Now the ferns.
Harry involuntarily shivered when her fingers traced over the ferns lightly, taking note of the expanse of skin sheā€™d have to cover.
ā€œYouā€™re right,ā€ he agrees, ā€œBut agree to disagree on the provocation.ā€
ā€œSure,ā€ she says curtly, focusing on his skin and her job.
The expanse of skin that the ferns inhabited was slightly fleshy and especially soft. It bordered where his boxers began and she ignored that part of his body completely. It was of no importance to her and she really had no issue blocking it from her vision, even when it was right in front of her. She finishes one fern with Harry jumping only twice from her cold hands. He couldnā€™t put his robe on until the makeup had all set for half an hour so heā€™d have to be cold for possibly another hour still.
She traces the fern that is still visible and Harry shivers. She instinctively shushes him softly and his body quiets. As she works, her hair splays around her shoulders and Harry looks down at her working and doesnā€™t realize what his hand is doing until itā€™s too late. His right hand runs over her hair, smoothing it out of her face. It was rarely ever down, so it must have been the novelty of it.
ā€œSorry, I-ā€ he chokes out when he jerks his hand back.
She sits back, slightly taken aback. Her body flushes just from their positioning and what a hair caress would mean normally in this position, but sheā€™s a professional and she shakes it off.
ā€œItā€™s fine. Weā€™re even.ā€ She assures him, breaking eye contact with his own wide eyes. ā€œSeems like weā€™re both hair touchers.ā€
ā€œItā€™s just so soothing,ā€ Harry muses. ā€œI think itā€™s human instinct to touch other peopleā€™s hair since itā€™s so enjoyable for yourself.ā€
ā€œPossibly,ā€ her voice raises, his thought was definitely plausible. Or maybe they were just two touch starved people who were very much in each otherā€™s personal space 24/7.
At the two and a half hour marker, she gets a walkie message from Oliviaā€™s assistant asking when theyā€™d be done. She had just finished the tiger tattoo, which had been surprisingly easy. It took a while, but Harry didnā€™t shiver once and neither of them pet each otherā€™s hair.
ā€œProbably 40 minutes, sorry. He has a lot of tattoos and the makeup needs to set.ā€ She says seriously and gets back to work, barely regarding the response of ā€œYeah itā€™s fine, just wanted an estimateā€.
ā€œJesus,ā€ Harry moans as she covers up his knee tattoos.
She groans in veiled disgust, ā€œDid I just hit a secret erogenous zone? Is that why you have ā€˜ouiā€™ there, you creep?ā€ Thereā€™s a teasing tone behind the nickname she uses.
Harry laughs and runs his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw and lower lip. His jaw is so sharp, she watches him adjust it. ā€œNo, no. Iā€™m just so goddamn tired of this.ā€
ā€œAnd itā€™s not your fault,ā€ he adds, feeling bad immediately after he said it. ā€œItā€™s actually been nice today, but Iā€™m feeling antsy, like I need to move. I donā€™t like to sit still.ā€
ā€œI know,ā€ she says under her breath. She simply nods in agreement.
Finally, the tattoos are all covered up and set. They had talked about George Michael when she got to his ankle tattoos that she hadnā€™t seen before and they laugh about the tattoos and chat a bit more. She helps him slip on his robe that he keeps in his closet in the trailer and then follows him out of it. They had decided they were hungry and he had been pushed back an hour since he had taken so long, so he had a free half-hour.
As they walked to craft services, they talked about actual things besides work. She was pleasantly surprised by what Harry talked about. It was more than music or the movie. It was the tv show he was currently obsessed with and how he hated LAā€™s traffic the most out of all of his dislikes for the city. She couldnā€™t help but grin at his Los Angeles slander. She loved this side of him.
-
Breakfast together after finishing his tattoo coverage became their regular thing. He would come into the trailer, racing from his morning meeting accompanied with tea for two, theyā€™d get his tattoos covered as quickly as possible, and then theyā€™d eat together.
Theyā€™d save their ā€œin-depthā€ chats for breakfast. In early November, he joked about No Nut November and insisted he really wouldnā€™t have a problem with it - which had made her laugh. They worried together over the U.S. presidential election and meditated together in his trailer to Fleetwood Mac.
Around late November, Harry had requested that Y/N just do his face makeup as well, just to simplify his life a little more and the department had agreed easily. She had to spend extra time on set getting lectured on how to properly do Harryā€™s makeup, but after two days she stopped getting notes about it. She was so extremely proud and thankful to Harry for doing that.
All he said was: ā€œI mean, youā€™re extremely talented so Iā€™m not scared of you fucking up my face. Plus, it does make my life easier. Two birds with one stone.ā€
In late November, he told her about his favorite holiday drinks at Starbucks and what he was getting his mother for Christmas.
When the Vogue cover came out, he laughed over that woman who responded to his cover saying the world needed to bring back manly men. He joked that he was going to really push that from now on, that he was a manly man, and he would sputter with laughter every time he tried to say it with a straight face.
He hand delivered her a special ā€˜Treat People With Kindnessā€™ sweatshirt that he only had for the cast and crew of the film. Most everyone got them from a PA, but Harry decided since you saw him first in the morning, why not.
He told her about him winning Hitmaker of the Year from Variety when he had left the award sitting in Trailer 6 and about how weird it was to film acceptance speeches in an empty room. His smile had lit up the entire set that day and the day he did his interview on set. He was so smiley she had to bump him with her elbow because he wouldnā€™t stop smiling at her and it was unnerving.
ā€œStop that,ā€ She muttered.
ā€œStop what?ā€ He smiles wider.
ā€œThat!ā€ She squeaked, her head shaking as she ducked it to regard his anchor tattoo. ā€œYouā€™re smiling too much.ā€
ā€œOh no,ā€ he says sarcastically, ā€œGod forbid I be happy.ā€
ā€œItā€™s not that,ā€ she bumps his thigh with her elbow, trying to keep her own smile off her face, ā€œYour face is just so intense when you smile. Feels like youā€™re gonna burn a hole through me.ā€
He laughs, completely unconvinced, ā€œYou just donā€™t want me to be happy is what Iā€™m hearing.ā€
She rolls her eyes, ā€œWhatever, dude.ā€
She saw he was serious about the ā€˜manly menā€™ references when the Variety photos came out and everyone and their mom posted the pictures with some variation of that comment as their caption.
She still found that she rolled her eyes at some of the things Harry did, but she genuinely counted him as a friend by the time December had rolled around.
Over three hours, almost always completely alone, doing work for a job you both care deeply about can really make or break a relationship. And that first full-body coverage day had made them stronger together. After that, Harry and her would banter with one another, but there was never anything intentionally cruel. Just friends giving each other shit sometimes. Harry had been right, he had changed her mind about him. And she had realized that that was who Harry was. He was a deliverer. If you didnā€™t like him at first, he would try and try again until you did, but he did it in a way that wasnā€™t weasley or anything. It was terribly genuine and she saw it in every relationship he had on set.
On several occasions she had witnessed his friendship with Nick Kroll. A man she had regarded with dislike before the film. She had quickly realized that dislike was misplaced, but she maintained that it was just because she hated adult cartoons - citing that she literally refused to be friends with any person who willingly watched the Simpsons, Family Guy, and/or American Dad and all of those similar shows.
Nick was far nicer and less weird than she had realized. So she quickly shot her friend from high school an apology text for all the Nick Kroll slander she had spouted back in the day. Her friend had rejoiced but also said how jealous she was that Y/N got to see him regularly on set.
Nick and Harry got along great. Harry generally got along better with older people, she noticed when she was introduced to his friends on the somewhat frequent occasion. Trailer 6 was where Y/N saw most of these reactions take place. She would be introduced in the first minute and then she would smile politely and get back to the work of covering up Harryā€™s numerous tattoos.
Harry would say something simple and Nick, the literal famous comedian, would laugh. In the beginning sheā€™d raise a brow, confused because it truly wasnā€™t that funny, but as Harryā€™s friend now, she kept her mouth shut.
Nick would come and sit on the couch while sheā€™d work and eventually all three of them would chat. Sometimes she would get up to go to the bathroom during those morning chats and she would look in the mirror and think to herself ā€œHow are you casually talking to these two men right nowā€ and then sheā€™d think ā€œBecause you are a boss ass bitch, you got thisā€ and go back out there with a smile on her face.
ā€œY/N, what are you doing tonight?ā€ Nick asked on the first Friday morning of December.
She looks up from Harryā€™s cross tattoo that was half covered. Harry was reading, a book casually propped in his right hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the other two in the room. Nick had been getting some work done before he had spoken.
ā€œNo plans,ā€ she states simply before getting back to work. It wasnā€™t full body today, but it was arms and torso, so kind of a lot still.
ā€œYou should come over for dinner at my place with Harry,ā€ Nick smiles kindly. His scruff was really coming in today. ā€œTo celebrate us almost wrapping the first half of the movie.ā€
Harry had thankfully freshly shaved before he sat down. It was her least favorite part of her new job. Whenever he came in for touch ups and she had to shave his afternoon shadow. She was terrified sheā€™d cut him and never live it down from her department or Harry. She had no idea which would be worse.
ā€œMy wife will be there too, of course,ā€ he adds, hoping to entice her to say yes.
Harry glances between Y/N and Nick again before focusing on his book again.
She purses her lips, finishing Harryā€™s hand and moving onto the anchor tattoo. ā€œYeah, I mean, I donā€™t know why Iā€™d say no. As long as Iā€™m not intruding on the throuple,ā€ she grins up at Harry.
He stares at her with his big green eyes, slightly obscured behind his prescription glasses. He raises his brows and wiggles them a little bit, teasingly.
Nick laughs and slyly winks at Harry through the mirror. Y/N none the wiser as she removes all traces of Harryā€™s tattoos.
ā€œGreat!ā€ He claps his hands and stands up. ā€œWeā€™ll talk or Iā€™ll make sure Harry gets you the info or something. I donā€™t know, but weā€™ll figure it out. My wifeā€™s been wanting to meet you,ā€ he smiles again and walks out of the trailer.
She tilts her head at the last part. He talked about her to his wife. Did he really count her as that close of a friend? She was just a makeup artist and he was a producerā€¦ She glances at Harry and he gives away nothing. His jaw looks extra prominent and she knows itā€™s because heā€™s clenching it. He did that when he was focused or angry, remembering it bulging on the first day they met and how clenched it had been then.
ā€œUnclench your jaw,ā€ she mutters, ā€œItā€™s not good for you.ā€
Harry hums and unclenches it.
He stretches his neck by rolling his head around his shoulders and she glances at the movement. His skin is still beautifully sun-kissed and his pores look so soft, only his moles change the texture of his skin. She loves his moles though, they make him especially unique in her eyes. Not that he needed anything else to set him apart from the crowd. Still, she loved them. His collarbone is prominent as he sits there shirtless and she wishes she could reach out and brush at it. But she gets back to work, knowing the only time sheā€™s gonna be brushing near that part of him is when sheā€™s covering dates in those dips behind his collarbones.
ā€œYā€™know, I could just drive you to Nickā€™s tonight,ā€ Harry says, putting his book down and taking off his glasses. He rubs at his eye with his free hand.
ā€œYouā€™re blind and British, how do I know you can even drive yourself?ā€ She asks sillily, pointing to his glasses.
He shakes his head, ā€œIā€™m serious, Y/N. Arenā€™t you staying in the same area as me?ā€
He asks because they had relocated to Palm Springs a little while ago and everyone had gotten rentals and it was hard to remember where everyone was holed up when they werenā€™t on set.
ā€œYeah, think so. But you donā€™t need to pick me up. I have a car.ā€
ā€œNonsense. Iā€™ve been to his place before, donā€™t want you to have to deal with directions, thatā€™s just silly.ā€
ā€œI guess...ā€ she resigns relatively easily. She had never hung out with Harry off the set or Nick for that matter. It felt surreal, but she knew the right answer was usually just say yes in these situations. So thatā€™s what she says. ā€œYes, thatā€™d be great, thank you,ā€ she confirms and watches as Harryā€™s eyes glimmer softly before turning back to his book. A triumphant soft smirk rests on his face.
The words die out between the two of them as she works on. He hums along to the music and continues reading his book. When sheā€™s done with his tattoo coverage and his face makeup, she sends him off to hair and the rest of his day. He gives a flirty wink as he walks out the door and she rolls her eyes in response. She tidies up her kit and then goes to do some other makeup work.
When she wasnā€™t working with Harry, she was assigned to some of the minor characters and doing their makeup. They were always her second concern, especially now that she did Harryā€™s makeup as well as his tattoos. As she works on them, she can feel her mind drifting to Harry. Harry and how they were friends now. She was pretty sure, right? They were friends. He had never really said a mean thing to her if she really thought about it. It was herā€¦ She had been rude and mean-spirited and he had just taken it. He rarely had even thrown it back at her. He was so good to her and patient and she realized that he had proven to her that he was good. He was better than good, he was kind and loving. Considerate. Wonderful. All of those positive superlatives, Harry filled them. And she had the audacity to be mean to him.
She paused the brush that was adding blush to an actresses cheek.
Lisa, the actress, looks at Y/N confusedly, ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€
Y/N twitches her head, refocusing on her task at hand. The realization of her pausing her work becomes clear as she looks between her hand and the cheek that has not enough blush on it. ā€œOh,ā€ she breathes. ā€œ...I just realized that I was terrible to someone who doesnā€™t have a mean bone in their body.ā€
Lisa nods, ā€œApologize.ā€
ā€œYeah, I mean...Weā€™ve kind of moved past the phase where we donā€™t get along. Like now weā€™re friends, but the realization just really hit me.ā€ She sighs, picking up where she left off on Lisaā€™s makeup. ā€œIā€™ll make sure to apologize next time I see them.ā€
Lisa smiles.
-
At the end of the day, Y/N realizes she left her tattoo coverage kit in Harryā€™s room after their touch-up session halfway through the day. She had run off to help with a makeup emergency for a tiny cut on a minor characterā€™s face and forgotten to go back and grab her things. Another roll of her eyes and a huff of breath and then sheā€™s walking back to Trailer 6, a place that seemed like a home away from home now. She knocks, patiently waiting at the bottom of the steps.
Harry swings open the door and props it with his hip. Heā€™s got a toothbrush held in his mouth, slowly scrubbing back and forth with his left hand. His costume is somewhat taken off, heā€™s still got the pants on with suspenders hanging down, his chest was completely bare and he looked funny with some of his tattoos only being half covered based on what parts of his skin had been showing today. Her work. His skin looked half silky smooth and half tattooed like usual.
His naked skin seemingly left her breathless because as her eyes returned to Harryā€™s face, she breathed a soft, ā€œHi.ā€
ā€œHey,ā€ a smirk twists onto his face. ā€œForget something?ā€
ā€œYes,ā€ she nods, coming back to her senses and entering the trailer at Harryā€™s gesture.
She begins to pack up the kit that had been left haphazardly strewn around on his counter. ā€œIā€™m sorry I left a mess like this, I got called over to something else and forgot.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t worry darling,ā€ Harry grins at his joke.
She looks up from her work and sees Harry in the reflection of the mirror. Heā€™s wiping off the makeup from his chest and his beautiful tattoos reemerge as entire images.
She laughs humorlessly, ā€œIt gets less funny each time you use that.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not true,ā€ he looks at her through the mirror now, his green eyes trained on her face, ā€œEveryone else still thinks itā€™s hilarious.ā€
ā€œTheyā€™re humoring you and your fragile ego,ā€ she winks and watches as Harryā€™s smirk twitches from his perfect face.
ā€œYouā€™ve got a very mean disposition, you know that?ā€ He asks.
He finishes his chest and moves to remove the makeup from his left arm, glancing at the mirror every so often to check himself and to flicker his eyes over Y/Nā€™s face.
She genuinely laughs at that, but scolds herself internally for being mean when she had planned to apologize the next time she saw Harry. This was the next time so why was she doing this instead?
ā€œRewrite sweet disposition for me?ā€ Her voice honeyed. Clearly stubborn and terrible at saying sorry...maybe her and Harry were a better match than she realized.
Harry twists his lips as he slips on his t-shirt he was wearing today.
ā€œPick you up at 6:30?ā€ He says as his head pops out from beneath the rainbow striped sweatshirt he slipped on top of the shirt. His chestnut hair had been toweled out and was flopping over his forehead slightly.
She sighs and zips close the kit, standing from the seat she had taken at his counter and turning to face him now.
ā€œ6:30 is perfect. Thanks again for doing this. I just canā€™t believe Nick Kroll is inviting me over for dinner!ā€ She smiles, shifting to lean against the counter as she waits for Harry to finish up. She didnā€™t have to but for some reason she felt like she was in no rush.
ā€œAre you serious?ā€ Heā€™s moved on to changing his pants now and heā€™s slipping on black sweatpants.
ā€œYeahā€¦ā€ She blinks and her eyes widen as Harry appraises her expression.
He straightens up after fixing a cuff on the pants and he canā€™t tell if sheā€™s being genuine or sarcastic. It was always so hard to tell with her.
ā€œI mean, Nick Kroll is like a huge celebrity and I know in the entertainment business youā€™re not supposed to get starstruck but when I was in college my sister thought he was weirdly hot and my friends and I would shit talk him. I donā€™t know, itā€™s just kind of surreal to be having dinner at his place. Like Iā€™ve watched him on tv and now Iā€™ll be eating with him...so weird.ā€
He shakes his head, beginning on his dirty vans now. A small laugh escapes his mouth and he glances between her and his shoe, scratching his head quickly. ā€œI still canā€™t tellā€¦ It feels like youā€™re fucking with me right now.ā€
ā€œIā€™m not!ā€ She insists, her hands coming out in front of her in a confused fashion. ā€œI used to watch that guyā€™s tv show then heā€™s my boss now heā€™s inviting me over for food? Itā€™s a lot to process.ā€
ā€œHow come itā€™s not surreal to be having dinner with me then?ā€ He asks semi-joking, a hint of offense tinged within it. Itā€™s visible only in his knitted brow and twisted lip.
ā€œCareful there, sailor. Venturing into some dangerously self-absorbed waters.ā€ Her eyes light up, a quick raise of her brows accompany the shine, and she decides now is her time to head out. Especially as she thinks about getting ready for this soiree tonight. She needed to shower and pick out an outfit with less than two hours to prepare.
Harry sputters at her response and fumbles with his pink shoelace. ā€œThatā€™s not...that is - Youā€™re being unfair. My question is valid.ā€
She shrugs her shoulders and skirts Harryā€™s attempt at grabbing at her arm to stop her from leaving. ā€œOkay, Mr. Big Man On Campus. I promise you youā€™re the most popular boy in school.ā€
She blows him a kiss and walks out the door as he attempts to get her to come back by calling her name a few times and slightly shouting ā€œCā€™mon! I wasnā€™t being insecure. That was a reasonable askā€¦ā€
He sighs and shakes his head again. Every interaction would end with one of them either rolling their eyes or shaking their head and usually a sigh on both of their lips. It was exhausting, but exhilarating too.
20 minutes later, Harry receives a text from Y/N: ā€œYouā€™re still picking me up right :))) ?ļæ½ļæ½
Heā€™s in his car, getting ready to finally leave after getting held up with last minute schedule changes that he had to be informed about by some PA that he had forgotten the name of. His lip quirks to the right and he closes his eyes for a second enjoying seeing her name on his phone screen for a moment.
He types back: ā€œOf courseeeeā€.
ā€œFab.ā€ She sends back, immediately followed by: ā€œFanks BMOC ;)ā€
A full smile rolls onto Harryā€™s face after he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. ā€œYeah, yeah, save it for the next guyā€ he types out quickly before throwing his phone gently beside him and driving back to his apartment. She made him feel young, not that he wasnā€™t young, but generally his friends didnā€™t text like she did.
-
At 6:28, she receives a text from Harry Styles - his name in her phone. A name she had never expected to see in her phone unless her Spotify was on shuffle. Yet, instead, his name popped up under messages and it read ā€œHere!ā€ followed by a quick ā€œI thinkā€ and then a phone call coming through from the apparently anxious man himself.
ā€œHello Harry.ā€ Her tone even. She throws little items into her purse, making sure everything she needs is there.
ā€œCould you peek out your window? Iā€™m not quite sure Iā€™m at the right place and people are staringā€¦ā€ nerves laced in his rushed tone.
She ambles to the window and opens up the shade she had closed to change. Below her, she sees a sleek black Range Rover with a slightly disarrayed hairdo and big dark glasses peeking below the windshield. She ignored the instinct to retch at the sight of the Range Rover and peered at the lamp lit sight below her. It was definitely Harry, but she searched for the prying eyes he was worried about and saw none. Well, maybe a few, but it wasnā€™t a lot.
ā€œI see you, Iā€™ll be right out, dude. Just deep breaths, itā€™s mostly crew staying here right now so theyā€™re just seeing that itā€™s you, another guy they work with. They wonā€™t come up for pictures...I would hope.ā€
She hangs up with no farewell, snatches her purse from its place on the bed and races out the door. Harry smiles anxiously at her when she stands next to the passengerā€™s door and he unlocks it. She bites her lip and raises her brows, waiting to hear if anything terrible happened in the minute and a half it took her to come downstairs and out to the car.
ā€œHi,ā€ he exhales.
A smirk crawls onto her features and her eyes sparkle with a bit of a childish glee that normally she didnā€™t exhibit as she glances at him. ā€œHi.ā€ She says quietly. ā€œAlright big boy?ā€
ā€œā€˜M fine.ā€ He huffs but balks at her smile that she maintains while she stares at him. ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œJust happy to see you, I guess,ā€ her smile returns after speaking and Harry glances between her face and the windshield in front of him.
He canā€™t tell if sheā€™s being serious or not once again. But he fears that conversation of her either ridiculing him for thinking she is serious or being offended that he still canā€™t tell. Instead, he will keep his mouth shut. For the most part.
ā€œHappy to see you, too,ā€ his lips create a closed mouth smile quickly before turning out of the parking lot.
She watches him. Their first time together outside of work. And they were friends. She needed to get used to simply thinking that. He picked her up to take her to dinner with her other friend and his wife. This was normal life, just with big names behind those terms of relation. Jesus, she always said it didnā€™t bother her to be around celebrities so why did she think about it so damn much?
She twitches her head and refocuses on Harry and his driving. His jaw is clenched again and she wants to reach out and sooth it herself. Instead she starts to open her mouth to correct him, but stops herself from that as well. They werenā€™t at work and it didnā€™t feel like something just a friend would say right now. She refocuses on the view of his eyes that are barely visible while he regards the road. His large eyes that she had grown acquainted to are surveying what heā€™s doing, every so often drifting to the right side of the road to check out the lane beside him. But then, always back to right in front of him, leaving a crescent of green visible to her.
ā€œCan feel you staring at meā€¦ā€ His voice sounds like itā€™s rolled around in gravel after the long work day. It makes her wonder if heā€™s supposed to have a vocal rest when heā€™s not at work, but then again itā€™s the weekend now so maybe it was fine. Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she should stop worrying so much about him.
ā€œHave I got something on my face?ā€ His low register bumps her from her racing thoughts. He doesnā€™t take his eyes off the road, but she can see heā€™s widened his eyes in wonder.
ā€œNo! Of course not, I just was...making sure you werenā€™t going to crash us or something.ā€ She grasps at straws, desperate to not be caught by Harry.
A low chuckle bubbles from his chest and he spares a small glance over at her bundled up in his passenger seat. She matches his gaze with something of distrust hidden behind her eyes. She hopes to convey that sheā€™s being silly and when Harry turns back to look at the road unassumingly, she feels like she has won. The harmonies of the beginning of a Queen song take over the silence, Harryā€™s spindly fingers thrumming against the wheel.
They arrive at the Krollā€™s Palm Springs residence at 6:50. 10 minutes early and the two twiddle their thumbs for a few minutes, trying to pass the time and not intrude earlier than they were supposed to. She appreciated that Harry liked to be timely but not early, similar to how she was.
ā€œSo what is the fascination with Range Rovers?ā€ She queries, leaning against the doorā€™s armrest. The back of her head touches against the semi-tinted window.
Harry shifts in his seat, seat belt no longer constricting him and no road requiring his attention as they sit in the driveway. He rushes a hand through his hair and lets a single strand of hair fall over his prominent forehead.
ā€œDunno,ā€ he shrugs his shoulders and allows a hand to fall onto the steering wheel absentmindedly. ā€œI donā€™t really prefer them anymore, but when Iā€™m in LA and doing work, it makes things easier. My other cars are a little flashier...have more privacy in this.ā€
ā€œYet the effect is similar,ā€ she muses.
Her head tilts to take in Harryā€™s appearance, sharp black silky button-up and dark green plaid slacks, and she rubs a hand over her jaw. His eyes flicker to the movement and attempt to really take it in, even in the dim glow of the lamp light outside barely peeking into the dark interior of the car.
ā€œEffect?ā€
ā€œYā€™knowā€¦ā€ She arches her brow at him. He feigns innocence or possibly the expression is genuine. Sheā€™s begun to realize Harry was as genuine as they came, but she just didnā€™t think he was that unaware. An assumption that was likely correct, but even Harry liked to pretend he was a completely unassuming individual.
ā€œForget it,ā€ she finishes when he gives no indication that he knows what she is hinting at. She doesnā€™t want to get into it with him again. Especially when he plays at this game where he has no idea what sheā€™s talking about. It made her feel like she was crazy for thinking he made these calculated decisions to get his desired outcomes.
They move on, neither of them quite sure what the other was getting at in that conversation. The two of them walk into the house a minute before their expected arrival time side by side and are greeted happily with Nick and his wife. Theyā€™re ushered in and Y/N is happily received by the happy couple. Ā 
ā€œSo, Y/N, howā€™s it been for you working with these two? I know they can be more than a handful - especially together,ā€ Nickā€™s wife, Lily, asks after a sip of wine.
The group of four had been eating for a while with Nick and Harry bantering for quite a bit at the beginning about whether or not Harry would be willing to hand feed Nick. The answer was settled at ā€œanother timeā€. Ā 
Harry seems to have a very specific habit of watching whoever is speaking - no matter what. So after Lily has finished speaking, his gaze flickers to Y/N, the person his brain expects to speak next. He watches her attentively as she wipes her mouth on her napkin before speaking.
Her hair was styled differently tonight than it usually was on set, she had it down rather than up in a ponytail or braids. He hadnā€™t had time to really look at her when they had been in the car, his mind occupied with stress and exhaustion that he refocused into driving and deep breathing. Now, in the comfort of a trusted friendā€™s home, he was far more relaxed and able to truly take in her appearance, which he couldnā€™t help but think was beautiful. Heā€™d have to tell her that at some point. That he thought she was beautiful. Not that he didnā€™t see her on set and think she was beautiful...he just hadnā€™t really thought about it before. She was his wily makeup artist who was critical of him most times, but occasionally sweet, who had an amazing taste in music and good aesthetic style. The beauty part of it all, he guessed wasnā€™t something integral to their relationship before.
But now he was sitting beside her at the Krollā€™s nice dining table and she had her hair splayed in front and behind her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear and her outfit fit her impeccably. The top she had on had capped sleeves that cinched with buttons at her delicate wrists and a severe drop to create a small sweetheart neckline just above the curve of her breasts. It was silky and shiny, a blush pink that complemented the high waisted dark grey slacks that flared over shiny black boots that he wasnā€™t sure where they ended beneath the pants.
ā€œWell,ā€ she starts, chuckling under her breath when she meets Harryā€™s stare, ā€œHarry and I spend a lot of time together, covering up all his tattoos, and he yaps a lot. So, itā€™s actually pretty refreshing when Nick comes in, because Harryā€™s then talking half the normal amount.ā€
He huffs a scoff, while Lily and Nick laugh happily. Nick interjects an ā€œouchā€ for the bite she just took out of Harry, but she thought it was fine, he can take it.
Harry thought to himself that if she can serve it, then she can definitely take it. His eyes remain on her as he opens his mouth to speak, but then look at Lily when words actually come out. ā€œWell, Y/N, she thinks she can read people really well, but itā€™s actually quite the opposite. She had me completely wrong when we first met, so I talk now in hopes that sheā€™ll reallyĀ understand me.ā€
His head tilts to her when he mentions her name, but otherwise doesnā€™t glance her way away again. He scrunches his nose at the end of his comment, implying he converses with her out of pity.
Itā€™s her turn to scoff and stare at him unamused. Nick and Lily share a look, unsure of what was going on, they had concocted this dinner date idea in hopes to set the two up but the way this conversation was going, they seemed to be pushing each other further and further away from one another.
ā€œThatā€™s simply not true,ā€ she says curtly and takes a sip of her quickly emptying wine glass.
ā€œWhich part?ā€
ā€œAlmost all of it, Iā€™d say,ā€ her eyes glaring back at him, fiery with a disdain he hadnā€™t seen in awhile. ā€œYouā€™re proving my original perception of you with every passing second,ā€ she adds.
ā€œCare to elaborate exactly what the original perception of me was for the class,ā€ his eyes are wide and wild, any extra adoration he had started to feel towards her slipping away just as quickly as it had come, like a wave along the beach.
ā€œYou know, so why donā€™t you?ā€
ā€œI want to hear you say it,ā€ he grits out the command.
She shifts in her seat, glancing at Nick and Lily who are watching on and she has a feeling she wonā€™t be getting an invitation again anytime soon. Lily gives her a semi-reassuring smile like she was sorry to have asked the question at all, but Y/N knows this is kind of her fault, not that she would ever admit that. Her comment could have been taken innocuously, but Harryā€™s pride wouldnā€™t let it slide. Like she said, she should have known better, the weeks of friendship were flying out the window and she was helping them along.
ā€œAnd what if I donā€™t?ā€
ā€œHave fun calling an uber at this time of night,ā€ he shrugs, malice dripping in his tone.
She truly was taken aback at this. A slight sound of shock leaving her mouth. Harry was many things, impatient and anxious usually, but downright cruel with her, she had yet to see it. Arrogant and pompous, definitely, but this wickedness that was starting to creep from the shadows worried her. But the little fiery demon within her wasnā€™t going anywhere either - yet she might back down to save herself some money and hassle.
ā€œFine,ā€ she raises her brows in a challenge to him and restates her original take on him - possibly adding a bit extra malice in her phrasing, ā€œYou are a shell of a man, held up by the people around you, creating the illusion of a completely genuine and down to earth rocker who dabbles in acting, philanthropy and all around goodness. No oneā€™s ever had a bad experience because no oneā€™s ever truly met you. Not the real you.ā€ She takes a deep breath as she shakes her head in disbelief now, a sarcastic laugh leaving her mouth, ā€œAnd I thought, I really thought, that I had been wrong. Because these past months you really fooled me with your sweet smile and deep eyes. But when it comes down to it, you tricked me just like everyone else.ā€
Harry stares at her blankly and she shakes her head once more, feeling foolish. For thinking Harry was someone he wasnā€™t. For thinking the past few months had been real. For thinking that tonight would go off without a hitch. And the shit part of it was that she had really hoped that all of it was true. She wanted this to be her life, but her instincts had been right. Beware of the picture perfect because it always is just a mirage of deceit and lies.
ā€œAll Iā€™ve got to say is youā€™re a damn good actor Harry, so at least youā€™ve got that going for you.ā€ Then she pushes back from the table and stands, turning to Nick and Lily. ā€œI really am so sorry, I understand that you probably want me to leave, so Iā€™ll just be going,ā€ her voice faltering at the end, she wasnā€™t as strong as she liked to pretend and she was pretty sure she just ruined her chances of working again in Hollywood. Youā€™d have to be an idiot to be an enemy of Harry Styles and she feels like she just became his first.
ā€œNo!ā€ Nick says quickly, standing too, ā€œI think things just escalated really quickly and some things were said that both of you didnā€™t mean. Um...just, letā€™s take a few minutes to cool off. Harry could you and Lily deal with the dishes and Iā€™m going to talk with Y/N alone.ā€
Everyone nods and Y/N follows Nick down a hallway, a little confused but following after he beckons her with his hand. They go out a side door and end up on a porch in the backyard. He stoops down and opens a little sitting mailbox she didnā€™t see and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He places one between his teeth and then offers one to her. She accepts, not usually a regular smoker, but right now seemed like a fair time to indulge in the bad habit. She needed to calm her rapidly beating heart.
He lights the cigarette for her when he sees her shaking hands and then in turn lights his own. They stand on the porch beside each other and stare out into the dark night sky.
ā€œWell, this wasnā€™t how tonight was supposed to go,ā€ Nick starts, after a few exhales of smoke.
ā€œNo,ā€ she laughs nervously, her foot toeing at the wooden slate on the porch. ā€œI shouldnā€™t have tried to make a joke.ā€
ā€œNo oneā€™s to blame,ā€ Nick says quickly, glancing at her, ā€œYou and Harry...you both have really strong personalities and I donā€™t think either of you are used to being challenged.ā€
She nods along, she definitely had to agree after the argument they had both willingly gotten into in front of other people.
ā€œI think that can be a really good thing, challenging each other, because then you two can both grow. But what happened in there was more of a battle to the death rather than a friendly spar.ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ she exhales, flicking at the burning cigarette between her fingers, ā€œI donā€™t know why he gets under my skin sometimes in a way Iā€™ve never dealt with and itā€™s kind of uncomfortable so I lash out, I guess.ā€
Nick stays quiet, taking a drag of his cigarette.
ā€œUgh,ā€ she groans, ā€œI wish I hadnā€™t done that. We were doing so well, itā€™s like I donā€™t even really know what Iā€™m saying, itā€™s like I canā€™t handle a friendly spar, I always end up going in for the kill - as you put it.ā€
She rubs at her face with her free hand and then takes a drag herself. Nick bites at his lower lip, trying to think of a solution.
ā€œYā€™know? Lily and I had concocted this plan to try and set you and Harry up tonight,ā€ he says slowly, revealing the plan that had clearly been taken off the table as they just needed to attempt to salvage cordiality.
ā€œReally?!ā€ Sheā€™s in complete disbelief and slight dismay that the plan was seemingly ruined.
ā€œWell,ā€ he sputters, ā€œWhen the two of you arenā€™t throwing verbal fireballs at each other, youā€™re actually quite sweet to one another. Those fond little glances you hope no one sees, well he does that too, and you both fail miserably because I see it all the time. Iā€™m sure plenty of people do too.ā€
ā€œOh,ā€ she states, visibly deflating. She looks to the ashtray conveniently on a table behind her and presses out the rest of the cigarette. ā€œShould probably talk to him, huh?ā€
Nick nods, stamping out his nub of a cigarette as well. They go back inside and into the kitchen where Lily and Harry have plated dessert. Harry looks a little sheepish, likely having a similar conversation with Lily and she wouldnā€™t be surprised if her expression looks similar, if not a bit more flushed from the outdoor chill.
Lily murmurs that she and Nick are going to eat their dessert in the living room, a fair bit away from the kitchen and the two now deflated counterparts nod and then stare at each other, knowing what they need to do.
ā€œCan we talk?ā€ Harry rasps out, his voice even lower as he speaks softly, a mere foot away from her in the kitchen.
She nods, but moves further from him to lean against the counter and tuck her hands behind her. Sheā€™s lost her appetite and doesnā€™t want Harry to see her shaking digits.
Heā€™s ducked his head and a stray curl falls over his forehead, laying there softly. He doesnā€™t move to fix it, just stares at his feet until she begins to talk. He canā€™t not look at her face when she speaks.
ā€œSoā€¦ā€ She slowly starts, not enjoying the tension in the room. Her eyes canā€™t meet his though, his stare dark and unnerving like usual, but almost painfully so now. ā€œI can start.ā€ She kicks at the tiling on the floor like she had done outside as well, trying to not think about the eyes trained on her right now. ā€œIā€™m sorry I lashed out on you, Harry. I didnā€™t mean what I said, it was just a heat of the moment response.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry, too,ā€ Harry says immediately once she finishes speaking, ā€œI shouldnā€™t have gotten upset over a silly joke and brought up a sensitive subject. Then it escalatedā€¦ā€
ā€œYeah, I really liked the friendship weā€™ve garnered these past few months and I just canā€™t believe I almost ruined everything - including my careerā€¦ā€ she squeaks at the end and tears start to roll from her eyes. ā€œOh god,ā€ she is hit with the gravity of all that she almost ruined as Harry stares at her again. ā€œIā€™m so sorry, Harry, I really am. Do you forgive me? I donā€™t think I could stand it if you didnā€™t.ā€
She stands there and feels sobs wrack through her and her hands go to cover her face out of embarrassment. She had caused a scene and now she was making another one. In front of Harry.
In an instant his arms are wrapped around her frame and heā€™s hushing her cries. They had never hugged before, but now seemed like as good a time as ever. His arms were strong around her and she pressed her face into his chest, not caring at all about how she looked or whether this was worse than getting in a fight and running off.
ā€œOf course I forgive you,ā€ he says and then begins repeating her name over and over, trying to soothe her. He definitely had been hurt by her words, but it seemed like she was more upset about the whole situation than he was and he didnā€™t think bringing up what specifically had hurt him would help her frame of mind.
She settles after some time, her whimpers and tears subsiding after being rocked into a more peaceful mindset with the help of Harryā€™s calming voice and reassuring embrace.
ā€œI really am sorry,ā€ she whispers again.
Harry pulls his neck back and his head off the top of her head to look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were glassy, lips slightly puffy. He gave her a soft tight-lipped smile. ā€œNo more apologies,ā€ he states sternly and then softens again at the slight quiver in her lip. He pulls from her a little more, leaving her at arm's length, with his hands still attached to her hips, fingers slipping over the plaid fabric. ā€œI meant to tell you this earlier, before thingsā€¦ā€ he stares at her face again and she holds it this time, ā€œYou look beautiful tonight.ā€
She scoffs and her eyes immediately drop to her feet, ā€œDefinitely not anymore.ā€ She doesnā€™t believe Harry.
ā€œā€˜M serious,ā€ he insists. His right index finger goes to rest beneath her chin and brings her face up to look back at him.
ā€œSure,ā€ she says, still not convinced but not sure how else to respond. She feels herself warming at all the positive attention heā€™s pouring into her.
His gaze wonā€™t falter from her face, heā€™s intent upon making her understand him. He whispers her name, ā€œAccept the compliment.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re stubborn,ā€ she notes.
ā€œSo are you,ā€ he counters quickly. Ā 
ā€œFine, thank you,ā€ she sighs when he wonā€™t stop giving her that look of his. That look that makes her want to melt into the ground because it feels like sheā€™s the only person in the world. ā€œThough you looked especially good tonight, too,ā€ she adds, her hands rubbing over his shoulders softly.
ā€œThank you,ā€ Harry states lowly, the words only traveling to her ears. His hands fiddle with the sides of her top, thinking about the night and where they were now. Her eyes were red from crying and overall she looked tired beyond her years. ā€œDo you want me to take you home?ā€
ā€œThatā€™d be nice.ā€
They make a quiet farewell to Nick and Lily, as well as apologies from both her and Harry. They donā€™t speak in the car and the music plays loud enough for it to not seem unreasonable for them to be silent. Harryā€™s hands donā€™t tap against the steering wheel, they sit in their spots stoically doing their job and nothing more. She watches the window, legs crossed and hands clasped in her lap. Sheā€™s thankful for the music because she knows that even though they had talked, it wasnā€™t enough. What she had said was hurtful and one apology wasnā€™t enough for how she had behaved. She didnā€™t think her and Harry would be the same after tonight, but the silence made it possible for her to pretend none of it had happened.
Just as Harryā€™s car is pulling up the apartment complex that is far darker now, the harsh splatter of rain begins to fall on the pavement and the sleek black car the two are still sat in.
ā€œOh,ā€ she comments offhandedly, just responding to what she had noticed.
The rain grows louder when Harry parks and then turns off the car. He glances at her for the first time since they got into the car. She registers the look out of the corner of her eye, her face still looking out at the rain. She loved the rain, but there wasnā€™t always a lot in Southern California, especially not in Palm Springs. It seemed that tonight was different.
ā€œWell,ā€ Harry breaks his silence, she thinks thatā€™s her cue to leave and unbuckles her seatbelt, but he continues. ā€œThis certainly wasnā€™t how I expected this night to go.ā€
She stops moving, her hand hovering over the handle of the door. She sits back and settles into the seat, feeling her teeth bite into the plush of her bottom lip.
ā€œThatā€™s what people keep saying,ā€ her eyes remain on the rain hitting the front of the car, the splatters of seemingly black liquid that form when the clear rain touches the onyx hood of the car.
ā€œHuh?ā€ Harry grows perplexed at the rather wistful tone of her and how she wonā€™t look at him again. He was still hurt, but he had hoped them talking in the kitchen had straightened some things out. During the car ride he hadnā€™t wanted to talk, but it didnā€™t mean he was still angry with her. Just confused, and growing further confused by the second.
ā€œOh,ā€ she repeats, ā€œDidnā€™t Lily say? Her and Nick concocted that dinner in hopes to set us up.ā€
Harry hums, knowing that because Nick had left out a little part of that plan. That he had been a part of it. He had been talking with Nick about getting to know her better outside of work and how Nick had thought itā€™d be a good idea to have dinner so he had told Lily and they set it up like a casual dinner party. Harry didnā€™t know how to respond because her knowing that he was in on the plan might just make matters worse. He really didnā€™t think things could get much worse, but it seemed that they always managed to make it happen so in the end he decided to keep his mouth shut.
ā€œI donā€™t know if weā€™d ever be able to work out differences out for that,ā€ she decides to continue, when Harry stays quiet. She scans the interior of the car and watches Harry for the briefest moment before going back to looking out the window. ā€œNick said that we challenge each other to grow, but all I see us do is hurt each other.ā€
Her voice is just above the rain pattering outside the car and Harry thinks it sounds almost melodic if it werenā€™t for the sadness laced in every word.
ā€œI disagree,ā€ he states before wetting his lips.
ā€œOf course you do,ā€ she laughs in spite of herself.
ā€œEven after all these months together and you still donā€™t get it. I like you.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t like me, I donā€™t know how you could ever like me,ā€ she shakes her head. ā€œWe just...we get under each otherā€™s skin. You can make me so angry sometimes and I know I make you angry too. And when weā€™re not angry, weā€™re focussed on something that doesnā€™t have to do with ourselves.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t think what you feel for me is anger,ā€ Harry insists, ā€œJust because something feels burning and fiery, frustrating even, doesnā€™t mean itā€™s anger.ā€
His body shifts closer to the center divide and she turns to face him finally. His eyes are extra dark in this lighting, which is barely there from a streetlamp a ways off. She longs for the comfort of his light green eyes, the soft pale glow of the moss that seems to have been trapped within his iris. Maybe for that reason she unknowingly leans closer to him.
ā€œThen what is it?ā€ She whispers, eyes blinking slowly as her breathing grows strained.
ā€œPassion.ā€
Immediately, her head is tilting to meet his lips. Her mind knows one thing, she needs to be kissing Harry right now. And then she is. His left hand goes to cup her cheek as his lips attach themselves to hers. His soft lips press to hers in a long searing kiss. They stay there for a moment, pressing all of that passion and frustration into the kiss.
She presses impatiently forward, her lips starting to move more, wanting to kiss him deeper. Harry obliges, parting his lips and kissing her more vigorously. He licks into her open mouth and smiles at the sound she makes in appreciation for his actions.
Sheā€™s shifted to have herself kneeling on the leather seat and sheā€™s leaning over the console. One of her hands finds purchase on Harryā€™s thigh and grasps tightly, her other at the back of his neck, pressing him closer if it were possible.
His chest is pressing against hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her and his fingertips rub softly at the apple of her cheek. Eventually they run behind the shell of her ear and trail down her neck.
Eventually, she pulls away and stares at Harry. She watches as his eyes flutter open gently. His soft eyelashes dust his cheeks before moving away, allowing his eyes to peer at her in the dark.
Her breathing feels a little irregular after the kissing and sheā€™s sure she is heaving her chest slightly, likely mirroring Harryā€™s chest as well.
ā€œSo, where to now?ā€ She inquires, lips quirked up at her suggestion.
Harry giggles and scratches his nose against his index finger.
-
Harry doesnā€™t stay the night, he walks her up to her apartment door though. He kisses her chastley in front of her door and wraps an arm around her waist as he does so. He bids her a goodnight and a promise of seeing her soon.
They donā€™t see each other for a month. Both of them had been so blissful after the endorphins of kissing their person that they had forgotten that filming had wrapped. They werenā€™t set to work for a month. Harry texted her the next morning informing her that heā€™d be in England until filming resumed. She was still going to be in California, filming was moving back to Los Angeles, so sheā€™d be back in her place there. Her family knew she was working, so they had sent her presents ahead to her place instead. Angie, her only true friend in the area, was spending her time with her actual family and Y/N didnā€™t want to intrude.
So the holidays were going to be spent alone. Those four weeks alone passed surprisingly quickly. She practiced techniques on herself, bought a tiny Christmas tree like the one in A Charlie Brown Christmas, watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and just about every other holiday movie possible. She fell in love with young Hugh Grant and Colin Firth for the thousandth time. She sang carols to herself and decorated her place with decorations from Target. She jammed out to the new Miley Cyrus album and held dance parties for herself in the house. She baked cookies and even attempted a trifle after watching a Great British Bake Off episode. She did and she did all in hopes that her mind wouldnā€™t wander to the guy who hadnā€™t called.
Harry texted occasionally, but it was infrequent at best. He was a busy person, she knew that. She knew who he was. And she didnā€™t want her mind to have enough time to feel sorry for herself. For her to think that she was just somebody to pass the time with while at work, because if she stopped doing things thatā€™s where her mind would wander. Why did her mind spiral like it did? She had no idea, sheā€™d always been like that.
His absence, their separation, made her question if her own feelings were even true. She wondered if when she saw him he would act as if nothing had happened. As if he hadnā€™t said their relationship was passionate and she had kissed him until she couldnā€™t breath.
Too much time alone, she needed some fresh air. On January 2nd, after an uneventful night at home and a lackluster countdown washed down with cheap champagne, she decided to go and walk around near her place. There was a coffee shop that wasnā€™t extremely expensive that she also liked that she figured she would get coffee from. After a brisk walk, she walked through the store's doors and ordered an iced green tea. As she waited, she watched the other customers around her, wishing to see a friendly face, someone she knew. And seconds later, she was met with half of that wish. Someone she knew, not necessarily a friendly face.
ā€œAutumn.ā€ She states with a grimace when someone taps her on the shoulder and she spins around.
ā€œY/N? It is you!ā€ Autumn, one of the PAā€™s from Donā€™t Worry Darling who was especially in Harryā€™s business, exclaims overly happy as per usual.
Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and gives a tight lipped smile, trying her best to be cordial.
ā€œHowā€™s your holiday been!ā€ Autumn asks.
ā€œGreat. You?ā€
ā€œSo great!ā€ Sheā€™s quick to lean closer and say in a hushed tone, ā€œBut I miss working on set, especially getting to see that Harry everyday. Heā€™s just so gorgeous.ā€
A breath gets stuck in Y/Nā€™s chest at the mention of Harryā€™s name. Her brows canā€™t help but raise a bit at Autumnā€™s comment. Even lowering her voice didnā€™t make it feel alright to talk about Harry like this. He was her friend after all.
ā€œSure.ā€ Y/N nods abruptly, realizing Autumn wants some recognition of what sheā€™s just said. Y/Nā€™s eyes glance around the room, hoping for an out like her drink is ready or something - no such luck.
ā€œI mean,ā€ Autumn keeps talking, of course, ā€œYouā€™re so lucky. You get to see him shirtless, like what? Everyday practically? Donā€™t tell me you donā€™t miss that just a little bit!ā€
ā€œI miss working,ā€ Y/N says, avoiding what Autumn is trying to get her to say. ā€œAnd Harryā€™s my friend, could you maybe not talk about him like that with me?ā€
Autumnā€™s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted dumbfounded by her co-worker's response. Y/Nā€™s name is called for her drink and sheā€™s thankful for the serendipitous nature of that sound getting her out of the awkward situation she had just been in.
When she gets back to her apartment, she surprisingly has a text from Harry himself. Sheā€™s always telling everyone; speak of the devil and he will appear, in one way or another. Itā€™s a Happy New Year well wish followed by a separate text asking how she was.
It was sent a minute ago so she decides to try and give him a call. She preferred talking on the phone over texting.
It rings a few times and then, again surprisingly, he picks up. Ā 
ā€œā€˜Lo?ā€ His voice is nice and deep and sounding extra British after his weeks surrounded by family and such.
ā€œHarry,ā€ she sighs contentedly.
ā€œHappy to hear your voice,ā€ he says her name and she can tell heā€™s smiling just like she is, from ear to ear.
She bites at her lip, hearing him say her name.
ā€œIā€™m well, thanks,ā€ she says after a moment of happy silence.
ā€œWhat?ā€ Harry laughs, confused.
ā€œYou texted asking me how I was and I called to respond.ā€
ā€œGot it,ā€ Harry chuckles, and she hears him shuffling around, likely sitting down on something.
ā€œHow are you?ā€ She continues.
ā€œGood, starting to wind down for the day,ā€ he lists off the things heā€™s been doing over the past few days. Some of it work related, some of it family activities. All of it fun, he insists. ā€œWhat did you do today?ā€ He finishes, knowing she was an avid activity doer based off of the snaps she had sent him over the past few weeks.
ā€œTidied my place, went to the coffee shop and got iced teaā€¦ā€ she tries to think and then she gasps, ā€œOh! And I saw Autumn, one of the Donā€™t Worry Darling PAā€™s -ā€
ā€œThe one whoā€™s obsessed with me?ā€
ā€œExactly!ā€ She laughs, ā€œAnd I may have kind of told her offā€¦ accidentally.ā€
ā€œAccidentally told her off?ā€ Harry repeats, incredulous. ā€œHowā€™d you do that?ā€
ā€œWell,ā€ she doesnā€™t want to tell him the rest, but thereā€™s also a tiny part of her that really does, ā€œShe was gushing about you, which, ew. And then she asked if I missed seeing you shirtless everyday.ā€
ā€œWell do you miss seeing me shirtless?ā€ Harry smirks.
ā€œOh shut up!ā€ Sheā€™s quick to reply.
ā€œSo you do?ā€
ā€œIf I really wanted to see you shirtless, all Iā€™d have to do is type in ā€œHarry Styles shā€ and it would come up,ā€ she rolls her eyes even though she knows he canā€™t see them. ā€œWouldnā€™t even need the whole word. Guaranteed.ā€
ā€œUh-huh?ā€ Harry questions still, ā€œIf you want me to send you shirtless pictures that the rest of the world hasnā€™t seen, Y/N, all you have to do is ask.ā€
ā€œI do not want you to send me shirtless pictures of yourself!ā€ She exclaims. She feels like jumping out of a window right now. This conversation had escalated so quickly and she felt herself flushing, maybe even perspiring a little bit. And she also knew that she also would probably like it if he sent her shirtless pictures, which made this whole thing worse.
ā€œOffer stands,ā€ he says, smug as he normally was, happy he got to banter with her again. It had been dull without her, if he was honest with himself. ā€œIf you ever find yourself in need, just send a cheeky text and Iā€™ll whip one out for you, no matter where I am or what Iā€™m doing.ā€
ā€œSee this sounds like youā€™re saying something sincere, but really youā€™re just telling me youā€™ll send me nudes at any time.ā€
ā€œNo one said anything about nudes!ā€
ā€œShirtless, nude, sounds like youā€™re getting too caught up in the details, hon.ā€
ā€œNo!ā€ He protests, ā€œYouā€™re the one whoā€™s supposed to be flustered right now, not me!ā€
ā€œAww, youā€™re flustered,ā€ She coos.
Harry groans. ā€œWhatever. Iā€™ll be back on the 8th, be ready to go out on the 9th. Iā€™m taking you on a proper date.ā€
ā€œHow do you know Iā€™m going to say yes?ā€ She bite her lip again, sheā€™s really sweating now. She couldnā€™t believe he had just asked her out on a date out of nowhere. Out of them just joking about nudes. Maybe she didnā€™t know Harry as well as she thought.
ā€œBecause you called me,ā€ he says confidently.
ā€œI call everyone.ā€
ā€œBut I donā€™t offer shirtless pictures to everyone.ā€
ā€œThat has nothing to do with me saying yes to this date.ā€
ā€œOr does it?ā€
She laughs at his words, at how his voice still manages to convey every facial expression and quirk of his lips. She knows thereā€™s a smile on his lips as he stares in the distance, imagining her face just as she is his.
ā€œYes.ā€ She smiles.
ā€œYes!ā€ He repeats happily.
She hears him stand up and spin around possibly and she chuckles slightly, amused at the silly man across the world who had seemed to have stolen her heart.
ā€œSee you soon, Harry.ā€
ā€œNot soon enough.ā€
-
On the Saturday of their date, Harry insists on picking her up. He meets her at her door and winks at her after pulling away from their short hug. He laces his hand in hers and she follows behind him as he all but drags her to his car that is downstairs. He seems giddy. His hair has grown out in the month heā€™s been gone and she knows theyā€™ll cut it when filming resumes. Heā€™s wearing Gucci flared blue jeans - she knows from the big logo on the bottom left pant leg - a ā€˜Waiting for Sunsetā€™ graphic tee beneath a black cardigan with little animals and items knitted in it. And of course, his dirty ass vans. She had hoped that maybe Christmas would bring him a fresh pair from someone, but it seemed there was no such luck.
Either way, he looked good and upon scanning his outfit, she was pleased that she had dressed correctly for the occasion, knowing one of the sins of Los Angeles was being improperly dressed wherever you might go. Harry had said casual, but casual can always mean so many different things. She got it right with light wash high-waisted leviā€™s, a brown cream rib-knit long sleeve that buttoned like it could be a cardigan, and some fun chunky boots that added some height to her normal stature. She had contemplated between this and possibly twenty other tops and a few other bottoms. Landing on this felt right, plus it didnā€™t clash with Harry, the color of her shoes actually matched the color of the snake on the cardigan.
They both compliment each other on the way out to his car and she giggles when he stops and twirls her around. He says he didnā€™t get a ā€œproper lookā€ before for him to compliment her adequately. After the twirl, he nods and starts them off again, complimenting the specific pieces of her clothes and says she looks beautiful again. His giddiness was contagious.
ā€œNo Range tonight,ā€ she muses when Harry stops them in front of a Mercedes-Benz cream convertible, top up.
ā€œNot working,ā€ he replies, unlocking the car with the key into the passengerā€™s side door handle.
She smiles and slides into the car and watches him jog around to his side and unlock it as well.
ā€œTonight is going to be fantastic,ā€ he says, leaning over the console and kissing her cheek, just beside her lips.
And when he pulls away with that smug smile of his, she knows he kissed her there on purpose. But the little tease only makes her smile more. He was good at this. And he was right.
The night was fantastic. As was every night after. And she learned that Harry was so much more than anything she ever thought. She counted herself lucky to be loved by a man like him.
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lycorsa Ā· 3 years ago
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can I plz get some hcs about widowmaker, mercy and sombra with a fem S/O that has the powers to turn invisible and shift through objects? ( kinda like ghost from the antman movie )
Pairings: Mercy x Reader, Sombra x Reader, Widowmaker x Reader
Was this requested: Yep, thank you for the wonderful request.
Notes: Kinda came out sad on Mercy and Sombra's so a slight warning for mentions of Reader death. But hey, I didn't write them dying so šŸ˜¶šŸ‘ I also have no title for this so fun times
Mercy
-She was most likely standoffish when you first met. Powers like yours can just so easily be used for terrible things. Of course, that doesn't mean she isn't friendly with you, she's only professional.Ā 
-But things don't really stay professional because it's her job to make sure your physical being isn't unstable. Damn you, Jack.
-Long conversations in the medical ward put her fears aside and she feels silly for doubting your good intentions.Ā 
-Doesn't mean she appreciates all the times you enter the infirmary unscheduled. A bullet grazed your side or your ears are still ringing from an explosion too close for comfort.Ā 
-"You're quite literally a ghost, how did you manage this?"
-If your body begins to become unstable, it doesn't take Angela long to find out. Between biweekly tests and visits in between, you can't hide the way your hands flicker under the light in the right conditions.Ā 
-She'll scour nearly all plains of knowledge for a way to cure your condition.
-But your case is a rarity, even Lena's can't compare.
-When her search yields nothing, you're there to comfort her though saying it aloud seems more like you're trying to believe it yourself.Ā 
-Neither of you will give up though. Whether you find a way to stabilize yourself or not, you'll continue your work beside Angela and Overwatch.
Sombra
-Likely had some knowledge of you before your first meeting given her reputation. This means she will never stop asking questions about your abilities and where they came from (whether from birth or an experiment).Ā 
-She needs blackmail on everyone, you included.Ā 
-Does rope you in on playing tricks on her fellow Talon members.Ā 
-There's a rookie who's heard ghost stories about the showers being haunted? Yeah, they're gonna get the fright of their life when you pop your head through the wall and scream before disappearing out into the safety of the hallway.Ā 
-She enjoys having you on her missions. If you happen to raise an alarm, she can easily use her translocator to escape while you simply phase through the walls while invisible.Ā 
-Does like to use your abilities for nobody's gain at times. It's so easy to walk into a store and grab what you need while never being seen.
-If you begin to unstabilize, it takes some time before she sees the signs. By then it's a bit too late for anything normal to be done other than leaving you to Moira for a few weeks for experimentation.Ā 
-The mad scientist draws blood, collects bone marrow samples, and just about anything else that involves being poked and prodded.Ā 
-When that yields no success, she'll try some rather controversial experiments. Controversial experiments that Olivia in no way agrees in. Before Moira can turn you into a walking experiment like Gabriel, Olivia steps in.
-That is that. If a world-renowned scientist is unable to find a way to fix it, you're not sure anything else is possible. Oppositely so, Olivia reaches at every resource she hasā€“every high-ranking person she's got dirty information on and they all come back empty.Ā 
-She's experienced loss but it's hard to see her partner in crime flicker away into nothingness day by day.Ā 
-She'll stick with you through it all.Ā 
Widowmaker
-She appreciates your help on missions. You don't make a fuss or complain about nights spent waiting for the perfect short like Sombra. Nor do you become such an angsty pain in the ass like Gabriel.
-You're there to beat the shit out of people, get information from them, and then disappear.Ā 
-She's there to finish the job from a distance.
-Not much of a conversationalist, she expresses herself with actions more than words. You're no exception.Ā 
-French chocolates only found in the smallest shops can be found in your room every so often.Ā 
-Equally so, you repay her in whatever oddities you surround yourself with.Ā 
ā€“If you enjoy cooking or baking, baked goods will suffice.Ā 
ā€“If you're a collector, she keeps a small drawer full of things that remind her of you (she'd never tell you about it though).
-Late night dinners spent in a private dining hall within Talon headquarters where you do nothing but enjoy the sereneness of the silence.Ā 
-She teaches you ballet and I will not be taking arguments. You perform for each other, sometimes visible, sometimes not but over time, she learns to appreciate the way you misstep and she's forced to catch your invisible form.Ā 
-"Careful, dearest, it would be a shame if I could not catch you."
-Widow gets a no-death ending because why not.Ā 
252 notes Ā· View notes
gonzo-rella Ā· 3 years ago
Text
Dear Old Dad | Jesse Pinkman (ft. Hank and Marie Schrader)
MASTERLISTĀ |Ā AO3Ā | KO-FIĀ | COMMISSIONS INFO
Requested by:Ā @flowercrowns-goodvibesā€‹
hi love! iā€™m SO excited to see that you are now writing for breaking bad!!! could i request a jesse pinkman x reader imagine, where the reader goes to UNM and is hank and marieā€™s daughter, and her and jesse really love each other but she doesnā€™t like his business heā€™s involved in, and hank also gets mad and yells at her because she gets involved with him and according to hank, heā€™s dangerous and really bad. and the reader is kinda dealing w the consequences of that? :) ty love!!
Relationship(s): Jesse Pinkman x fem!reader (romantic), Hank and Marie Schrader x fem!reader (familial)
Summary: To say your parents are displeased with your choice in love is an understatement, considering your father is a DEA agent and the guy youā€™re head-over-heels for is a drug-dealing junkie who supposedly gave your Uncle Walt some weed.
Warnings:Ā Mentions of alcohol (including implied underage drinking) and drug use (of course; itā€™s Breaking Bad), inappropriate language, family drama, angst, in depth description of angry/upset reader (i.e. crying, the merciless beating of a pillow, which definitely isnā€™t based off any of my own mental breakdowns). (Let me know if I need to add any)
Word count: 4k (excluding bonus ending), 4.6k (including bonus ending)
(A/N: This doesnā€™t follow the exact timeline of Breaking Bad, since I feel like writing something thatā€™s not at all canon-divergent (especially in a reader-insert fanfic) is pretty restrictive. I also decided to make Marie a somewhat prominent character in this too (even though it wasnā€™t included in the request), since she would most definitely intervene if her daughter was in love with someone like Jesse. Buckle up; I may have gone a little overboard in terms of length and depth with this one, as reflected by thisĀ  authorā€™s note. But, that doesnā€™t really matter. Itā€™s probably one of my favourite fics Iā€™ve ever written, which you could probably guess considering how long this thing is. I tried to write it with more nuance than ā€˜Hank bad; Jesse goodā€™, but I donā€™t know how well that aspect turned out. Also, I couldnā€™t choose between two endings I had in mind for this, so thereā€™s aĀ ā€˜nice endingā€™ and aĀ ā€˜bonus endingā€™. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, because I sure did. Iā€™d love to write more angsty stuff like this in the future.)
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The moment youā€™d arrived at these random girlsā€™ house with your dormmate, you couldnā€™t believe youā€™d agreed to come to this party. However, looking back on it, if you hadnā€™t attended this party, you never wouldā€™ve met him. While your dormmate had taken to drunkenly dancing to the blaring music in the living room, you had quickly retreated to the empty kitchen of the party hostsā€™ house. At least in there, the music was muffled enough to let you think.
As the designated driver, you were obliged to only drink non-alcoholic drinks, so youā€™d settled on letting a can of Diet Coke youā€™d found in the fridge and a book about Charles Manson youā€™d found on the kitchen table to be your entertainment for the night. Youā€™d neglected to ask your roommate if she had any idea at what time she wanted to leave, but knowing her, youā€™d probably have to drag her to the car at 2 AM, all the while looking like a kidnapper.
Unfortunately, the tranquilĀ emptiness of the kitchen was short-lived when a trio of guys, probably at least a couple of years older than you, came barging in around 20 minutes after youā€™d settled comfortably in your spot at the kitchen table.
ā€œSeriously, man, you really think these skinny college chicks are gonna have anything that isnā€™t some low-fat, gluten free shit?ā€ the tallest and stockiest of them said, stood beside the skinniest one as the third one opened and searched every cupboard in the kitchen.Ā 
ā€œHey, Jesse, canā€™t you just drive us to the store?ā€ the skinny one requested.
ā€œDrive you to the store? If I get pulled over, Iā€™m fucked.ā€ the one rummaging through the cupboards.
ā€œIā€™ll drive, then.ā€ the stocky one responded nonchalantly.Ā ā€œGive me your keys.ā€
ā€œYou canā€™t drive either, Badger! None of us can drive!ā€ the one who had just been referred to asĀ ā€˜Jesseā€™ responded with frustration.Ā ā€œUnless you want to get another DUI.ā€
ā€œJeez, relax.ā€Ā ā€˜Badgerā€™ responded, hands raised defensively.Ā ā€œWe can just find some sober freshman kid whoā€™ll drive us. Theyā€™ll do anything to get the approval of some older guys.ā€
ā€œYo, man, you really think anyone hereā€™s sober?ā€ the skinny one, whose name had yet to be determined, said.
ā€œI donā€™t know...I guess that chick over there looks kinda sober.ā€ Badger shrugged, gesturing to the asocial-looking young woman at the kitchen table, AKA you.
You immediately tensed up, your hope of going unnoticed by them due to them being clearly high and at least tipsy diminishing in that moment. However, you had the willpower to keep your eyes fixed on the book, despite the fact you werenā€™t actually reading it any more.
ā€œYo...uh...maā€™am?ā€ the skinny one said, approaching you. He sounded unsure about addressing you as maā€™am, but it wasnā€™t like he knew what else to call you.Ā ā€œYou sober enough to drive?ā€
ā€œYes, sir?ā€ you responded bluntly with a hint of a mocking tone, not looking up.
ā€œYou think you could give us a ride to the 7/11 about a mile from here?ā€ he continued.
ā€œDo I look like a fucking cab driver to you?ā€ you asked, finally daring to glance up at him.Ā 
ā€œIf you give us a ride, I can hook you up with some crystal. Jesseā€™s got some in his car.ā€ Badger tried.
ā€œShut up, man! For all you know, sheā€™s a nark.ā€ Jesse hissed, slapping his friend in the arm with the back of his hand.
ā€œDonā€™t get your panties in a bunch; Iā€™m not a nark.ā€ you sighed with a roll of your eyes. Jesse sighed in relief. ā€œBut, I ainā€™t a junkie neither, so you canā€™t make me whore my car out to you guys for whatever drugs you wanna offer me. I will, however, take cash. 15 bucks minimum.ā€
ā€œDeal.ā€ Jesse said, reaching into his pocketĀ  and placing a 10 dollar bill and a 5 dollar bill on the table in front of you.
ā€œPleasure doing business with you, gentleman. Letā€™s go.ā€ you replied, stuffing the money into your pocket and leading them out the kitchen.
That night, something about you intrigued Jesse, and you couldnā€™t deny that the intrigue was mutual. You suppose thatā€™s why, when he asked for it, you gave him your number.
That was three years ago.
When you hung out with Jesse, as well as Badger, Skinny Pete and (when they introduced you to him) their friend Combo, you couldnā€™t help but feel like some secretive teenager. You knew that if your dad found out some of your closest friends were a group of meth-heads, youā€™d be in for...something.Ā 
You didnā€™t know what your parents could possibly do other than aggressively express their disapproval of your choice in company, seeing as you were a college senior by the time they found out.
However, you knew youā€™d really be in for it when they found out that you were particularly close with Jesse.
Your relationship with Jesse had been a tricky thing to describe up until recently. You were both madly in love with one another, and it was abundantly clear to everyone. Despite this, neither of you had ever been ready to take the step forward that would progress your relationship from that confusing little grey area between friendship and a romantic partnership to...well, a romantic partnership.
Both of you had an unspoken knowledge of why a relationship between you two couldnā€™t work. Jesse was everything that your father hated, all crammed into the visual epitome of any parentā€™s worst nightmare when considering their dear daughterā€™s boyfriend. The only thing Jesse feared more than the threat of your fatherā€™sĀ wrath was the threat you would be under if any rivals in the business found out you were the girl that Jesse loved the most in the world. Getting involved with you in such a way would put you in almost as much danger as Jesse was in.
Still, you were both practically still stupid kids; you had the right to actively ignore those risks.
So, a couple of months ago, youā€™d finally taken that small step.
You were determined to hide the relationship from your family for as long as possible, which proved difficult considering your boyfriend was cooking meth with your Uncle Walt. To say your uncle was at all fond of the idea of you, his beloved niece, dating Jesse would be the lie of the millennium, but the man knew how happy you two were together. Moreover, making Hank any more aware of Jesse was bound to put Walt at risk too, so why bother meddling?Ā 
Perhaps it was foolish of the pair of you not to plan ahead in terms of letting your parents know you two were dating. Who were you kidding? It was definitely foolish of you. However, your parents had no idea you were even friends with a group of stoners, let alone that you were dating one. For all they knew, you hated and looked down on those who were involved with the drug scene as much as they did.
You hadnā€™t intended on them finding out about you being involved with Jesse so soon, especially in the way that they did.Ā Though, as shocked as they were, you had been just as surprised when they let you know that they had found out about your connection to Jesse Pinkman.
It just seemed like youā€™d been invited (albeit at the last minute) to a normal dinner at your parentsā€™ house, but as soon as you got in, the tension was as thick as early morning fog.
ā€œWhatā€™s going on?ā€ you questioned, brows furrowed.Ā 
ā€œUm...why donā€™t you take a seat, honey?ā€ Marie suggested as she wrung her hands and ceased pacing. Meanwhile, your father was stood looking out the window almost absentmindedly, seemingly deep in thought and/or avoiding looking at you as long as possible.
ā€œJeez, what is this? An intervention?ā€ you joked as you nonchalantly sunk into the couch and made yourself comfortable.
ā€œItā€™s not an intervention...we just need to talk to you about something that weā€™re both...concerned about.ā€ Marie insisted, the corners of her lips straining to feign an attempt at a calm smile.
ā€œOkay...ā€ you replied, your evident confusion remaining.Ā ā€œGo ahead, I guess.ā€
Hank chewed on his bottom lip, exhaled and turned to face you. He scratched his face, clearly trying to formulate an explanation.
ā€œSo...uh...thereā€™s some guy me and Gomie have been keeping tabs on in relation to the Heisenberg case. This morning were parked down the street from his house.ā€ Hank began.Ā ā€œAnyway...we...uh...saw you leaving his house. I know youā€™re a good kid, N/N, so I donā€™t wanna make any assumptions about the kind of stuff you get up to. But...if thereā€™s anything you wanna tell us, nowā€™s the time to do it.ā€
ā€œThis morning, huh?ā€ you answered, attempting to keep your voice in control as you wiped your sweaty palms on your thighs.Ā ā€œI, uh, wouldnā€™t know anything about that.ā€
ā€œSweetie, just tell us the truth, please.ā€ your mom begged.Ā ā€œOr...do you really not know about...who he really is?ā€
ā€œWho he really is? Heā€™s not Batman, mom.ā€ you responded, trying to avoid answering anything.Ā 
ā€œKid...come on.ā€ Hank sighed. The man was used to interrogating criminals who would rather die than confess any wrongdoings to a DEA agent, but never had he encountered a task as hard for him as questioning his daughter about her relation to a junkie she shouldā€™ve hated.Ā ā€œWhat were you doing at Jesse Pinkmanā€™s house?ā€
You swallowed your saliva, debating it all in your head. If you went with telling the truth, youā€™d be ripping the Band-Aid straight off. If you had to have the truth squeezed out of you like a near-empty toothpaste tube, youā€™d only be riling up your parents even more, and theyā€™d still end up knowing yourĀ ā€˜dirty littleā€™ secret.
ā€œOkay; fine. Iā€™ve been friends with Jesse and some of his friends for around three years.ā€ you admitted. You hesitated before allowing the next set of words to be forced from your throat.Ā ā€œAnd...a couple of months ago, Jesse and me started seeing each other.ā€
Perhaps you couldā€™ve chosen a tone that was a little less nonchalant; that probably wouldā€™ve softened the blow just a little.
Your motherā€™s jaw dropped, her lower lip and chin quivering. Her trembling hand cupped her agape mouth. Your father huffed, face scrunching up a little as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He wet his lips with his tongue.
Much like how Hank was fighting the urge to lose it right then and there, you were fighting the urge to roll your eyes.
From their reactions, you wouldā€™ve thought youā€™d just told them youā€™d gotten knocked up by him.
ā€œYouā€™ve been seeing Jesse Pinkman?ā€ he hissed with all the venom of an adder.
ā€œYeah.ā€ you responded, attempting to keep your tone of voice as confident as possible.
ā€œWe-we...thought...youā€™d started...using.ā€ your mother said almost breathlessly. Her hand fell to her chest as she took in a deep breath.Ā ā€œBut, you-Youā€™ve been seeing...your uncleā€™s drug dealer? Thatā€™s so much worse! What were you thinking, Y/N?ā€
At least that was all she knew, you thought to yourself. You knew better than to tell them the truth about Jesse and Waltā€™s connection to one another; youā€™d hate to incriminate him, or even your Uncle Walt. Even if you tended to keep out of Jesse and Waltā€™s business as much as possible, you knew enough about the business to know that exposing the truth to your DEA agent father would end badly for all parties involved.
ā€œJeez, mom, you might wanna be careful, lest you damage those pearls youā€™re clutching.ā€ you murmured mockingly, folding your arms and averting your gaze.
That was yet another bad call from you.
You had to commend your fatherā€™s patience, even if was beginning to run out. It was like watching the top half of an hourglass gradually empty into the bottom half.
He gritted his teeth. You could tell the last thing he wanted to do was yell at you. He loved you too much to make a habit of it, and he knew that itā€™d only push you away and into that Pinkmanā€™s arms.
ā€œKid...you must know the guy well enough to know him and the guys he surrounds himself with are all bad news.ā€ Hank said.
ā€œBad news? Oh, you mean the drugs and stuff? Iā€™m aware of that.ā€ you responded, finally daring to look straight back at him. You knew that he knew about Jesse and his crowdā€™s involvement in the drug scene, so nothing you were saying was too incriminating.Ā  ā€œI get youā€™re allĀ ā€˜anti-drugsā€™. I canā€™t say Iā€™m that fond of that sort of stuff either, but he keeps me out of the dangerous side of it. So, whatā€™s the problem?ā€
ā€œLook, Iā€™ve met plenty of Pinkmans in my day. Hell, Iā€™ve had the pleasure of arresting plenty of Pinkmans in my day. Any copā€™d tell you the girlfriends of junkies like him end up beaten or in a body bag, be it at the hand of the tweaking junkie himself or the guy whoā€™s getting back at him for owing him 50 bucks.ā€ Hank explained. His tone was sharp and grave, but, hidden beneath the harshness of it all was a sense of pleading.
ā€œIf this is your way of trying to get me to break it off with Jesse and steer clear of the guys, itā€™s not going to work.ā€ you stated with the conviction youā€™d inherited from the man standing in front of you.Ā ā€œI know those guys way better than you ever will. I know theyā€™re not some...devoid-of-morality lowlifes. And, Jesseā€™s not some abusive deadbeat. Heā€™s never hurt me and he never will.ā€
ā€œHoney, I know what itā€™s like to be young and...in love...and part of a group. But...heā€™s...theyā€™re all-ā€
You cut your mom off, standing up in a sudden motion with clenched fists.
ā€œIā€™m not going to be treated like some melodramatic, clueless, delusional teenager, alright? So, listen now and listen good.ā€ you snapped.Ā ā€œRegardless of whether or not I get your approval on this, I love Jesse. Jesse loves me. For the foreseeable future, Iā€™m going to continue seeing him, and Iā€™m going to continue hanging out with my fucking junkie friends, even if all you see them as is some dangerous gang of losers.ā€
You took in and released a deep breath, then continued.Ā ā€œForbid me from talking to all of them. Yell at me. Berate me all you want. Give me an ultimatum. I donā€™t give a ratā€™s ass.ā€
You were so caught up in your irritation, you hadnā€™t even noticed how uncharacteristically quiet your father had become. In most situations, Hank always had something else to say- a biting remark that served to break the tension or get under your skin. And yet, in the middle of the most intense conversation your family had ever had, he didnā€™t have much else he could say, even if he did have a lot to say.Ā 
Anything he would do or say would be futile, or, at worst, irreparably damage the bond you shared as father and daughter. Heā€™d realised that once you began your speech. After all, you were a Schrader. Youā€™d had stubbornness drilled into you from a young age. Typically, he admired your strong will, but, now that you were refusing to cut ties with Jesse and his merry band of misfit stoners, he abhorred it in this moment.
Hank let out an empty laugh of disbelief, shaking his head as he rubbed his face. After another sigh, his expression became more grave.
ā€œI guess youā€™ve made up your mind.ā€ he stated simply.Ā ā€œYouā€™re fine with getting shot in the head and buried in the desert.ā€
You swallowed your saliva, trying your hardest not to break down into some hysterical, screaming mess.
ā€œI guess youā€™ve made up your mind too, dad.ā€ you responded.Ā ā€œLeave me the fuck alone until you can start trusting me like you should be able to trust your fucking adult daughter. Son of aĀ bitch!ā€
ā€œDonā€™t you fucking dare talk to me like that, Y/N!ā€ Hank yelled behind gritted teeth.Ā ā€œIā€™m your father. Itā€™s my job to protect you, especially from dickheads like Jesse Pinkman! Iā€™ll start trusting you like I should be able to trust my adult daughter when you start acting like an adult.ā€
ā€œHank-ā€
You raised your hand and silenced Marie.
ā€œDonā€™t, mom.ā€ you insisted with a trembling voice, before turning your attention back to your dad.Ā ā€œIā€™ll save you the trouble of yelling and get the fuck out.ā€
You stormed over to the door, pausing and turning on your heel to face them for one last time. ā€œOh, and, before I go, if you take out being pissed at me on Jesse or any of his friends, you can forget about me ever setting foot in this house again.ā€
With that, you swung the door open, stepped outside and slammed it behind you. You marched over to your car and got inside, angrily honking your horn as you screamed to yourself in frustration. Tears finally slid down your cheeks.
The drive was an erratic blur. Your mind was so much of a mess that you relied the autopilot-esque muscle memory youā€™d acquired to take you where you needed to go.Ā Your impulses had already decided whatever that place was.
It was convenient for you that the roads were pretty barren, considering your infuriated state of mind had made you a menace to the road. Your knuckles were paled from how tightly you were gripping the steering wheel. You continued screaming and yelling to yourself throughout the drive, your unrelenting tears staining your cheeks.Ā 
Soon enough, you had arrived at your destination by almost crashing your car as you pulled up in front of it. You then found yourself waiting on the doorstep after knocking at the front door.
Almost instantly, the door swung open, revealing the face of the man you needed to see.
ā€œN/N? Whatā€™s going on? Are-are you okay?ā€ he questioned frantically, immediately noticing your upset demeanour.
You couldnā€™t speak to tell him what was wrong. Instead, you just barged past him, storming to his room.Ā 
Momentarily, Jesse stood still and watched you leave, unsure of whether or not to follow you. However, after some deliberation, he jogged after you, calling your name.
He found you sitting on his bed, his pillow in your hand and against your forearm as you punched it over and over. You ignored the fact that you were punching yourself through the pillow, too pissed off to care.Ā 
Jesse just stood there in the doorway, frozen as he stared at the perplexing and heart-breaking scene unfolding before his eyes. He could hear you muttering to yourself but he couldnā€™t make out a word of it, since it all came out in a mixture of sobs and frustrated grunting.
It took a moment for him to decide on how to handle this, and he settled on a combination of common sense and acting on instinct.
To know whether or not he could help you with your problem, Jesse needed to find out what the problem was. To find out what the problem was, Jesse needed to get you to tell him what was going on. To get you to tell him what was going on, Jesse needed to help you calm down.
So, his first move was to rush to your side, taking a seat beside you. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on your shoulder, immediately causing you to tense up and stop mercilessly beating the pillow. Your breath hitched in your throat and Jesse noticed a subtle shift in your demeanour.Ā 
You buried your face in the pillow, sobbing into it.
Jesse bit his lip, his heart continuing to shatter as you uncontrollably wept. He rubbed your back in a circular motion with his palm, hoping to help you feel better.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s okay. Itā€™s okay.ā€ he whispered to you,
Gradually, your muffled sobs ceased and you pulled away from the pillow, allowing him to get another glimpse at your puffy, damp face. You sniffled and wiped your nose with the back of your hand.
ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€ you muttered.Ā ā€œI probably shouldā€™ve just gone home to have this meltdown.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t apologise.ā€ Jesse insisted softly.Ā ā€œAs much as I hate seeing you like this...I want to be there for you, okay?ā€
You nodded, then proceeded to rest your head on his shoulder.
ā€œDo you, uh, think that youā€™d be okay with telling me whatā€™s going on?ā€ Jesse asked, eyes fixed on you while you kept your gaze locked on the blur of a room in front of you.
You sniffled and nodded again.
After swallowing your saliva, you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You then closed your mouth and involuntarily let out a low whine as you exhaled, prompting Jesse to rest his hand on your knee.
ā€œM-My dad saw me leave here this morning. And...I had to tell him and my mom about how Iā€™m friends with...your friends...and about us.ā€ you explained, voice trembling as you spoke.
ā€œI take it it didnā€™t go well, huh?ā€ Jesse said gently, ignoring his own feelings in that moment. It took him a second to push them aside, but he managed to keep his composure. After all, how you were feeling was more important to him in that moment than his own feelings.
You didnā€™t respond to his question, which he took to mean his assumption was correct. Though, considering your state, it wasnā€™t an illogical assumption to make.
ā€œWhat did he say when you told him?ā€ he prompted.
ā€œHe spewed some crap about how you and all of the others are bad for me. My mom was acting like I was some naĆÆve kid. I told both of them to leave me alone until they could start trusting me...and he said...he wouldnā€™t trust me until I started acting like an adult. Well, he yelled it. I said some stuff he didnā€™t like and he said he was trying to protect me...then...Then I told him, if he took it out on you or the others, because my dad definitely would, Iā€™d cut ties with him and my mom.ā€ you rambled.
There was a moment of silence.
ā€œOh. Okay. Wow.ā€ Jesse said after biting his lip again.
There was another couple moments of silence.
ā€œSo...um...if it came down to it...would you pick me over your parents?ā€ JesseĀ  asked, scratching his neck.
You furrowed your brows and thought for a moment. It was a question that you often found yourself contemplating, but youā€™d never found an answer to it. In an ideal world, you wouldnā€™t have had to pick between your parents and your boyfriend. However, in an ideal world, Jesse wouldnā€™t have been a meth dealer.
ā€œI donā€™t know.ā€ you replied.
ā€œWell,Ā Iā€™d ever make you choose, but if it ever does come down to it, donā€™t pick me; pick them.ā€ Jesse stated.
ā€œHuh? Why?ā€ you questioned.
ā€œWell, my parents cut ties with me. They donā€™t want anything to do with me anymore.ā€ Jesse responded.Ā ā€œI know how much you love your family and how much they love you and I donā€™t want to be the thing to come between that...even if I think most of the people in your family are self-righteous pricks.ā€
You finally looked at Jesse, making eye contact with him and biting your lip.
ā€œI know they love me, and I know they think I need to be protected from you...but...ā€ you said quietly.Ā ā€œI donā€™t know if I could choose anyone who would make me choose in the first place.ā€
ā€œYou canā€™t cut ties with your family because of me, N/N.ā€ Jesse sighed.Ā ā€œIā€™m not worth it.ā€
ā€œWell, itā€™s a good job that they havenā€™t asked me to choose, then, isnā€™t it?ā€ you responded.Ā ā€œAnd, for what itā€™s worth, I think youā€™re worth it, even if no one else Iā€™ve talked to today seems to agree with me.ā€
Jesse smiled faintly, both at the idea that you thought his worth as someone in your life matched that of your family and at the fact you didnā€™t seem to be as upset now as you had been mere minutes ago. Your tears had finally ceased spilling, and all that remained were damp, glistening stains on your cheeks.
Your stomach growled. It elicited a chuckle out of Jesse, who pressed a kiss to your temple.
ā€œPizza?ā€ he asked.
ā€œPizza.ā€ you confirmed.
With that, he pushed himself out of bed and left the room, presumably to get his phone and order your favourite kind of pizza.
While it wasnā€™t the family dinner youā€™d been anticipating, eating pizza in bed with Jesse was the perfect way to make the best of a pretty terrible night.
BONUS ENDING
It seemed like mere moments ago that you and Jesse had practically passed out in his bed when you were rudely awakened to the sound of someone banging on the door.
There would be three bangs, a brief pause, and then another three bangs.
Your eyelids fluttered open and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes with a tired groan. You rolled over to look over at Jesse, who had just woken up too. He propped himself up on his elbows and furrowed his brows.Ā 
ā€œWhat the fuck?ā€ he mumbled. He seemed more irritated than confused, and rightfully so.
ā€œCould you get that?ā€ you muttered hoarsely, squinting as your eyes adjusted to the morning light.
ā€œYeah, yeah, sure.ā€ he responded. He pushed himself out of bed, adjusted his t-shirt jeans and trudged to his front door.
It was from that moment that you heard shouting, though it was hard to tell considering everything that was being said (or yelled) was muffled by the walls of Jesseā€™s home.
With a grunt, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and got up. You didnā€™t care that you looked like a total mess; you just wanted to go back to sleep.
However, the sight you found as you reached the front door was enough to wake you up.
ā€œDad?ā€
You balled up your fists as you glared at your dad and Gomie. Your dad had Jesse pinned to the ground on his stomach, hands cuffed behind his back. Jesse writhed beneath them, trying to push them away.
ā€œWhat the fuck?ā€ you questioned.Ā ā€œI-I told you not to take it out on him.ā€
ā€œAnd, I told you that if you knew what was good for you youā€™d stay away from him, but you didnā€™t listen to me, did you?ā€ Hank replied, a hint of coldness in his tone.Ā ā€œGomie, put him in the car.ā€
You knew better than to fight right now. The more trouble you made for your dad and Gomie by trying to stop this meant more trouble for Jesse. Even if you fought and pestered and pleaded your hardest, it wouldnā€™t do anything to stop this. You sent a look to Jesse, knowing heā€™d understand what it meant. Begrudgingly, he stopped struggling.
Gomie complied with Hankā€™s order, pulling Jesse up.
ā€œN/N, call Saul for me, alright? Tell him to get his ass to the DEA office and tell him whatā€™s going on.ā€ Jesse called to you as Gomie practically dragged him to the car.
There was a brief moment of silence.
ā€œWhat are you still doing here? Donā€™t you have some spiting me to get done?ā€ you practically spat.
ā€œYou think Iā€™m doing this because Iā€™m pissed off at you for throwing a tantrum over your boyfriend?ā€ Hank said incredulously, stifling a sneer.
ā€œNo. I think youā€™re mad because I wonā€™t take your...self-righteous bullshit. You canā€™t stand that you canā€™t get me to break it off with Jesse and cut ties with my friends. Youā€™re supposed to be the head of the family, right? So, youā€™re supposed to be able to overrule me, but it doesnā€™t work when you just tell me what to do.Ā Itā€™s a kick in the ego for you when you canā€™t get me to listen to you.ā€ you answered.Ā ā€œBy arresting him, youā€™re taking back control, because, when youā€™re in control, you feel like a man. Thatā€™s all that matters to you.ā€
Hank scoffed.Ā ā€œThink what you want, kid, but Iā€™d rather have him behind bars and you pissed at me for it than have you end up in a body bag.ā€
He slammed the door behind him as he exited.
With that, you were left standing there alone in Jesseā€™s house.
All that remained was silence, but that was soon interrupted by the sound of a car engine starting and a rumble that gradually faded away.Ā 
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tinyjeanmarco Ā· 4 years ago
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jean relationship hcā€™s!
greetings! i realized my url name includes jean and marco and i havenā€™t written anything for them, so iā€™m gonna write some jean headcanons here and then post some marco ones later! i love these men so much. (Ėš ĖƒĢ£Ģ£Ģ„āŒ“Ė‚Ģ£Ģ£Ģ„ ) jeanā€™s character arc has to be one of my favorites, itā€™s just so lovely how much he changes and grows.
jean x gn!reader
warnings: minor manga spoilers for chap 127, mentions of marcoā€™s death, kinda angsty?
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okay so, first off, this man would get into fights left and right with eren about you. he would always make comments about how hot you are, and eren would be like, ā€œdude, shut the fuck up?ā€
you were never around when he made these comments, so eren, being your good friend, would get mad at jean for being creepy.
he never meant for it all to come off weird to everyone else. he just has a mega freaking crush on you.
everyone also thought he had a crush on mikasa too, so it was even more annoying.
one day though, eren was just real mad at jean, getting into fights as they usually do, and eren decided to fuck him over.
he went up to you after dinner one night and told you about jeanā€™s raging crush on you. this took you by surprise, but you were kinda pleased.
when he saw you all flustered about it, eren just got even more angry.
ā€œyouā€™re telling me you like that stupid horse face back?!ā€ and you shyly nodded.
he just threw his hands up in exasperation and walked away.
now, you had to go find that stupid horse face and tell him you like him too.
you found him still at the dinner table with connie and sasha, so you asked him if you guys could talk alone for a second.
cue connie and sasha cat calling because theyā€™re thoseĀ kind of friends.
jean tells them to shut up, but as if that would do anything.Ā 
he follows you to an empty hallway and asks you whatā€™s up, cuz heā€™s a bit worried. heā€™s never seen you so nervous before.
then it hits him that maybe you knowĀ about his crush?
ā€œwhatever you heard, itā€™s not true.ā€
ā€œo- oh. itā€™s not?ā€ you visibly deflate and heā€™s quick to pick up on this.
ā€œmaybe?ā€ cue you telling him that if it is, you return the feelings and this boi is dumbstruck and confused because his crush is admitting feelings for him. he does a mental fist pump. or maybe an actual one and youā€™re just likeĀ ā€œwut.ā€
after you two talk it out more though, he officially asks you to be his s/o to which you say yes to.
lemme tell you, jean boy is a clingy one. he hangs off you any time heā€™s around you now that he has the ability to do that. always pressing kisses to your lips and wrapping his arms around you.
you two actually get in trouble a lot for sneaking off to make out, which is always jeanā€™s fault. he just canā€™t keep his lips to himself, okay?
always pet his hair or he will throw a fit and become cranky. he loves when you scratch his head while petting his hair. it really helps him fall asleep when you guys are cuddling.
when jean decided he wanted to grow out his little mullet that he has, and grow some facial hair, you hopped on that train so HARD. like uhm, yes sir, please do. you look good already but the new hair will be some EXTRA hotness.
him rubbing his stubble on you to tickle you when you both are just relaxing together. he takes any chance he can to rub it on your cheek or neck. itā€™s just so funny to see your reaction to it.
post time skip jean is really tired of all the fighting, so i think that he sometimes just has to take a break and he hides himself away from everyone for some peace and quiet.
you usually find him wherever it is that he decides to hide that day, and just sit next to him, pulling him into a comforting embrace.
youā€™ve learned that talking to him about it doesnā€™t really help, and can sometimes make him feel even worse, so you just sit there, giving him your warmth to remind him that not everything is quite so bad. you have each other.
heā€™s really grateful to always have you at his side, and he never fails to tell you so whenever the mood strikes him. he just loves you so freaking much and doesnā€™t know how he got so lucky to have you.
he breaks the silence you two have when youā€™re sitting together to tell you about his daydreams where you two live together, have a nice home and started a family. that those thoughts are what keep him going and give him strength to fight.
please hold him tight when he breaks down crying, telling you that he canā€™t ever lose you because you are his whole world. sometimes you start crying too and both of you become a giant mess.
when you guys look up to the stars, you both like to talk to marco, hoping that somewhere out there, he hears you guys and misses you two just as much.Ā 
when he found out the real reason why marco died, you couldnā€™t bring yourself to stop him from beating up reiner, tears also pooling in your eyes. after he stalked off, you walked silently after him, pulling him into a tight hug. you both cried, leaning against a tree, holding each other until you fell asleep.
moving awaaaay from the sad stuff, jean loves spending money on you. he goes into town? buys you food from the market he knows you love.
his favorite things to buy you are those little fruit pastries from a bakery. he loves buying them because he also gets to eat them, and the flavor just reminds him of being with you since you were the one who introduced him to them.
definitely hard to sneak them around sasha, but you two manage.
whenever you guys have a day off, heā€™s so excited to go on walks with you outside the walls now that theyā€™re free of titans. of course you still gear up and bring horses just so you two donā€™t run into any bad situations, but he loves spending his days off with you.
give jean love, okay? he deserves it after all the shit thatā€™s happened to you all on paradis. hug him a ton. kiss him a ton. just make the boy happy.Ā (ą·†Ė™įµ•Ė™ą·†)ā™”
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mizunetzu Ā· 4 years ago
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ushijimia and tsukishima.... pink haired boyfriendšŸ‘€šŸ‘€ i'm in love with them im sorryšŸ˜«thank you so muchhhh ilyyyšŸ’™šŸ’™
LMAOOO ONE MORE PINK HAIRED Y/N COMING UP-
Also-ushijimia hahahaha jimia
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
Headcannons - Ushijima and Tsukishima with an s/o who dyed his hair pink
āš ļøwarnings - none !! Well, tsukkis is kind of angsty but not as angsty as per se ā€œitā€™s your faultā€ (if you know which one that is šŸ’€šŸ’€) so, light angst
Pronouns - male, he/him
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
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Ushijima:
Ok this lineup is actually pretty tamer compared to the twink show in the first part HAHAHAH
Tendou wanted to dye your hair
You hated your bland (h/c) hair, so you let him
He asked which color and you said ā€œsuprise meā€
Pink
He chose LIGHT BABY PINK THIS GUYā€”
Out of all the colors you didnā€™t expect this one
When it was wet you thought you were gonna hate it but then it dried and wow itā€™s all poofy and it makes your eyes look soft actually your whole face looks soft I-
Cue Tendou gushing about how awesome you look and how amazing he is at dye jobs because he didnā€™t get much dye on your face or ears
you pulled up to practice right
Goshiki thought you looked awesome as hell
Shirabu and Semi said you looked nice and immediately guessed it was tendou who dyed it
Oh honey then ushiwaka came out of the club room and into the gym
He was about to say something but then HIS FACE WENT FROM HIS NORMAL ā€˜: |ā€™ EXPRESSION TO FUCKING EYES WIDE
He forgot what he was going to say šŸ’€
ā€œYou...look very nice, (L/n)-san.ā€
He just,,,walked over to u and put his giant ass spiker hand on your hair
He didnā€™t even ruffle your hair he just...laid it there
ā€œUh...t-thank you...ā€
All day would NOT stop staring at you
HE DIDNT EVEN HIDE IT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOU
ā€œAra? Is out Wakatoshi-kun interested in our (Y/n)-kun?ā€
ā€œI...want to eat his hair.ā€
TENDOU STARTED LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF
USHIJIMA THOUGHT YOUR HEAD LOOKED LIKE COTTON CANDY šŸ’€šŸ’€
THIS GUY šŸ˜­
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Tsukishima:
Ugh this man
WOULD NOT STOP TEASING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
the day you walked into practice with your newly dyed pink hair n saw Tsukki u knew u were Not Safe
Everyday he thinks of a new retort for you and your hair
ā€œIs your hair even still healthy from all that bleach you put in it to make it light?ā€
ā€œI wonder if I can tear off your hair like cotton candy.ā€
ā€œWhat are you, a jpop idol? You gonna sing for me?ā€
Will Not Admit how cute you actually look
Heā€™s too prideful for that šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Ok but like one day
You had a preeeeetty shitty day
And there tsukki here comes
ā€œOh? Looks like the pink in your hair blinded you enough to miss that serve.ā€
He was snickering
You just
Looked at him with the most disgusted, hurt, done face heā€™s ever seen, before leaving to go fetch the ball from the middle of the court
He felt kind of shitty
But he felt even more shitty when you showed up to school in a beanie, covering all your adorable pink hair inside it
He was sad, not even a strand of pink :(
You looked like Tanaka HAHAHAHA
You didnā€™t spare him a glance all day
And you always brushed past him so quickly before he could say anything
But the moment that really made him feel like a douche was when he found you buying black hair dye at the Sakonoshita store
He stopped behind you, you were crouching down and comparing two black dyeā€™s prices
ā€œWhat...what are you doing?ā€
You didnā€™t even turn around
ā€œIā€™m dyeing my hair black. Yā€™know, since you hate the pink so much.ā€
He didnā€™t know what to say
He really really didnā€™t mean it like that
ā€œYā€™know, I thought I looked really good, till you ruined that.ā€
You turned around, eyes slightly watery and lips curled up into a quavery, dry, tight-lipped smile
ā€œI really donā€™t know why I care about your opinion so much...ā€
Tsukishima felt like fucking scum lemme tell you that
He crouched down, averting his eyes because he didnā€™t want you to see the blush on his face
ā€œI-I didnā€™t mean any of it, you idiot.ā€
It was your turn to go silent
ā€œI...ā€
Tsukki took a deep breath and furrowed his brows
ā€œI think you look...cute...with pink hair.ā€
Letā€™s just say you walked out of the store without black hair dye
But itā€™s ok, you walked out with a new boyfriend instead
That was way more than I expected to write whag the fuck
tsukki just had Angst Potential
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
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volleychumps Ā· 4 years ago
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Heyy idk if this'll make sense but,, I'm ugly (or at least not as pretty as others) and a lot of times guys would be dared to say "oh my friend likes you" while laughing at me. It made me very insecure growing up and makes me suspicious of compliments now... idk if anyone can relate but can you write a fluffy comfort scenario with Bokuto, Kageyama, or Tsukki? Maybe with reader laughing at a confession because she thinks it's a joke or something? Thank you, I love your work and stay healthy ā¤ļø
Aw bby~ Iā€™m sure youā€™re absolutely goregous <3 hope you enjoy your request!
Insecure S/O Reacting To a Confession (Bokuto, Kageyama, Tsukishima)
This is set in a time in which youā€™ve developed trust issues because a confession before had been a joke- so a little angsty nglĀ 
---------------------------------------------
BokutoĀ 
ā€œSheā€™s not coming, is she?ā€Ā 
ā€œCalm down. You told her to meet you after school- the bell let out less than five minutes ago.ā€ Akaashiā€™s voice sounded through the spikerā€™s phone as Bokuto releases a bigger sigh than he expected. Nervousness tingled through his muscles while the burly boy seemed to tremble in both excitement and fear for what was to come, leaning against one of the many exits to the school as golden eyes scoped the area for your figure.Ā 
ā€œTodayā€™s the day, Akaashi, I just know it!ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah. You said that yesterday. And the day before that one. Not to mention every day for the past month-ā€Ā 
ā€œI think sheā€™s coming!!ā€ A hand slipped out of his pants pocket as he pushes off the wall giddily.Ā 
ā€œWell, be careful- I donā€™t know if you heard about it, but-ā€Ā 
ā€œSee you at practice, my #1 Wingman!ā€Ā 
Bokuto ends the call, the last thing he hears being a sigh of Akaashiā€™s at his abrupt cut off. That could wait. A growing grin began at Bokutoā€™s lips as you, confused, approached him with a crumpled paper in your hand- looking as beautiful as ever in the eyes of the ace.Ā 
ā€œBokuto-san...?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou made it!ā€Ā 
He couldnā€™t see the hesitation in your steps, or the nervousness in your movements for the national-known volleyball spiker had his gold eyes downcasted at his feet, a hand nervously coming up to rest on the back of his neck as he internally prepares himself.Ā 
ā€œWas there something you needed from me?ā€ You wrung your hands out, biting your lip as you seemed to fidget in place, the scenario being all to familiar with what you once had to go through. However, you knew better- it just simply wasnā€™t possible.Ā 
Bokuto was always friendly towards you, but previous events had placed a limit in your head on just how far that friendliness just happened to extend. Until-Ā 
ā€œY/N...do you maybe want to go out with me?ā€Ā 
Your jaw slackened a little as you still in shock, watching as the boy you thought was eons out of your league blushed a little, squeezing his eyes tight as the question came out rushed, the words fumbling over each other.Ā 
But you still heard it.Ā 
Your chest sunk and heat flamed in your cheeks as you push out your first instinct- a laugh. A laugh bubbled up in your throat at the question, and Bokuto opened his eyes, confusion and anxiety rising in his stomach at the sound that still made his heart race. Nervously, he began laughing too.Ā 
ā€œAlright.ā€ You make out between giggles.Ā ā€œWho put you up to this?ā€Ā 
All laughter stopped on his end as you continue to giggle, but your eyes were a tad bit poignant as your fists clenched at your sides. Bokuto straightens, furrowing his brows at the ridiculous question.Ā 
ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€Ā 
ā€œI mean, this is a prank right?ā€ Your voice wobbled.Ā ā€œWas it Rui? His friend Droy?ā€Ā 
ā€œY/N, what-?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou shouldnā€™t play with girlsā€™ feelings like that, you know?ā€ You continue, smiling yet your eyes screamed of another story.Ā ā€œBut in my case, itā€™s funny- right?ā€Ā 
Bokuto blinked, mouth agape at the accusation in your words as you take a shaky breath, trying not to show weakness as Bokuto takes a careful step in front of you. Was this what Akaashi was trying to tell him?Ā 
ā€œY/N, Iā€™m serious!ā€ The ace exclaimed, causing you to finally meet his eyes with your slightly watery ones.Ā ā€œYouā€™re absolutely goregous, thereā€™s no way this is a prank!ā€Ā 
ā€œY-Youā€™re taking this too far...ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not, because there isnā€™t anything to take!ā€ Bokuto grabs your hand in his, intertwining your pinkies as you canā€™t help but smile a little at the childish gesture.Ā ā€œI promise you, Y/N, I like you! Way too much, Iā€™ve been trying to tell you for the past month now, but...you scare me. In a Iā€™ve-never-had-these-feelings before kind of way.ā€Ā 
You find yourself leaning into his palm as Bokuto smiles, golden eyes gleaming genuinely as he cups your face.Ā ā€œWho made you think of yourself this way?ā€Ā 
ā€œN-No one in particular...ā€ You lie, looking off to the side as you feel yourself being tugged gently into the sweet boyā€™s chest, causing you to yelp a little as Bokuto crosses a boundary, digging his face into the juncture between your neck and shoulder.Ā 
ā€œPlease.ā€ You stop trying to push him away at the sincerity in his voice.Ā ā€œCan I change that? I can. I promise you I can, if you give me a chance!ā€Ā 
Shakily, you look up to the sky, feeling Bokutoā€™s warm breath on your neck as he spoke, wondering if this was worth learning to trust again, your arms wrapping around his mid-section as you did so.Ā 
Your voice quiets, cracking slightly as you hold him back just a little tighter.Ā 
ā€œOne chance. Donā€™t let me regret this.ā€
Kageyama
ā€œThis is ridiculous, you moron!ā€Ā 
ā€œTrust me, sheā€™s gonna love it Kageyama-Kun!ā€ Hinata flashes his setter a big thumbs up as Kageyama groans, glaring into the bouquet of flowers with pink dusted across his cheeks. After Hinata had snuck a horribly written note into your shoe locker- Kageyama couldnā€™t put his confession off anymore, much to the setterā€™s dismay. Admiring you from afar had been enough, and confessing you face to face had once been a daydream-Ā 
ā€œCanā€™t I just, you know, text her?ā€ The raven haired boy attempts to escape one more time as Hinata points a finger to the spot where he was standing stubbornly.Ā 
ā€œNope! As if you could get her number anyway-ā€Ā  Hinata dodges the hit coming his way with ease, sidestepping as he continues his tangent.Ā ā€œSo youā€™re going to stand right there and wait for Y/N-chan to come! Iā€™m going home now, and tomorrow- you better have a newly minted girlfriend!ā€Ā 
ā€œI shouldā€™ve never asked you for advice.ā€Ā 
ā€œSee you tomorrow, and youā€™re welcome.ā€Ā 
Kageyama scoffs, snarky reply falling on silent lips as Hinata mounts his bike and takes off before he can get it out, leaving the blue-eyed setter standing at military position near the courtyard, red roses tightened in his grasp around the less thorny areas. He hoped Hinata was smart enough to not mix up the two locations.
ā€œKageyama-Kun!ā€Ā 
Said boy almost drops his flowers when you round the corner, now changed out of your school shoes as Kageyama swallows- a futile attempt to aid his now dry mouth. You took small steps towards him as you find a lump growing in your throat at the scene before you, memories flashing in your mind at what once had been.Ā 
Regardless, you managed a tight smile as Kageyama blinks once. Then twice as if to make sure this was really happening.Ā 
ā€œYou...wanted to see me about something?ā€ You question formally, ignoring the red hue of the roses as Kageyama stutters out a response, bright blue eyes darting all over the courtyard.Ā 
ā€œI...um....you are....UGH-ā€Ā 
In any other circumstance, you mightā€™ve found this cute- but the only thing you could think of was how good he was at acting.Ā 
ā€œTake your time.ā€ Your eyes dim down a little as the familiar unease rises in your stomach.Ā 
ā€œD-Date!ā€ Kageyama manages, the pink on his cheeks now turning into a bright red.Ā ā€œI want to g-go on a date with you...!ā€Ā 
You press your lips together as a heat pricks the corner of your eyes, the one image you didnā€™t want to remember blurring perfectly over the one in front of you.Ā 
.... Again?
Kageyama curses, offering you the roses with one hand shakily as the back of his hand covers his mouth, blue eyes seeming to glare off to the side in utter regret.Ā ā€œI heard you like flowers, s-so....ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t need to do this, Kageyama-Kun.ā€ You find yourself saying, surprised at how stable your voice was as Kageyamaā€™s arm slackens a little, the bouqet lowering in height as he takes in your words- in his case, your response.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s cruel, you know? I get it- youā€™re popular, attractive, and people want to be your friend- but this? I know I canā€™t be with someone like you the way I am now, so you have to show me firsthand?ā€
ā€œHuh?ā€Ā 
You chuckle humorlessly at the genuine confusion in his voice before laughing a little.Ā ā€œItā€™s hilarious, isnā€™t it? Poor, naive, ugly girl believes for just a second that the boy she likes wants her back.ā€Ā 
Kageyamaā€™s eyes widen a little, still trying to process what youā€™re saying as the roses fall slack at his side. But the only thing heā€™s able to get out, is-Ā 
ā€œWait, you like me?ā€Ā 
You spin on your heel, flustered you admitted it, before beginning to walk off.Ā 
ā€œGoodbye, Kageyama-Kun.ā€Ā 
ā€œW-Wait!ā€ Before he can stop himself, he finds himself grabbing you from behind to stop your leaving, your eyes widening as the bouqet of flowers remains tightened in his grasp as he does so, your back against his chest. The aromatic scent fills your nose as he successfully stops you from going anywhere.Ā 
ā€œI-I donā€™t know why you think youā€™re ugly or any of those things, but you arenā€™t.ā€ Kageyama mumbles quickly, and youā€™re shocked to see that heā€™s trembling at the touch.Ā ā€œBut I wasnā€™t lying, or trying to play you. I want to go on a date with you...and if you like me too, there shouldnā€™t be an issue, right?ā€Ā 
ā€œShit!ā€ Kageyama releases you right away, and you step away subconciously as you find yourself believing him, a hand over the clothed part of your chest as you do, cheeks blooming with a pink of their own.Ā 
ā€œ...I think Iā€™d like that.ā€Ā 
ā€œLike what?ā€ Kageyama questions obliviously as you groan, blushing in a way that made the setter want to admire you even closer than from afar.Ā 
ā€œThe date, donā€™t make me say it!ā€Ā 
The blue-eyed setter releases a sigh of relief, his heart being sent on an emotional rollercoaster coming to an end as he chuckles the slightest bit at your embarrassed stature, offering the roses again in a now relaxed-manner.Ā 
ā€œRight. So can you maybe take the damn flowers and be my girlfriend?ā€Ā 
Tsukishima
ā€œI regret this. Iā€™m going home.ā€Ā 
ā€œTsukki! No!ā€ Yamaguchi whines, pulling on his friendā€™s sleeve for the second time in six minutes.Ā 
ā€œShe isnā€™t coming. Waiting outside her classroom is creepy anyway. She mightā€™ve even already gone home.ā€ Tsukishima says straight on, glancing at his childhood friend before the freckled boy could interject.Ā ā€œWhat are you even doing here?ā€Ā 
ā€œMoral support!ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah, could you maybe...do that somewhere else?ā€Ā 
Yamaguchi sniffs once, frowning.Ā ā€œI get that youā€™re nervous, Tsukki, but donā€™t take it out on me. Text me later and send Y/N my regards, okay?ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not nervous.ā€ The tall blonde claims, swiping through his playlist when in reality- the butterflies in his stomach said otherwise.
ā€œThatā€™s all you got out of that?ā€ Yamaguchi sweat drops, shouldering his bag a little more before waving as he begins to walk off.Ā ā€œBe nice to Y/N!ā€Ā 
ā€œWasnā€™t gonna kill her.ā€ Tsukishima mumbles to no one as heā€™s left by his lonesome in the empty school corridor after school had ended, mostly everyone leaving or going to attend their club activities. He knew from Yachi who shared your class- that you stayed a little after school to study for a bit before leaving.Ā 
Tsukishima had discovered about his emotional surge towards you when you had visited practice one day to drop off Yachiā€™s notebook- only to notice you more and more each time you had passed him by to the point where you would smile and wave while greeting him by name. Soon, all other girls seemed to become see-through, leaving you bright in a sea of unfamiliar heads.Ā 
ā€œCrap!ā€ You stumble back, a relieved laugh filling the corridor as the blonde blinks, wondering how he had gotten so lost in his thoughts he hadnā€™t even seen you emerge or make himself known.Ā 
ā€œYou scared me, Tsukki!ā€ You whine, shifting your bag upon your shoulder before blinking in confusion.Ā ā€œWait, what are you doing here? Is the volleyball club off today-?ā€Ā 
ā€œGo out with me.ā€Ā 
Your breath hitches at the sudden attack.Ā 
Tsukishima remains indifferent, thankful he was able to even say it, as he shoved his hands in his pockets, eyeing you seriously through his spectacles before you find yourself back there again. Back where your trust was stripped and your pride was stomped on before you smile- a smile that was anything but cheerful.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s not a very funny joke, Tsukki.ā€ You laugh a little, hand tightening around your bag strap as you refuse to meet his eyes, your gaze falling on his shoes as you become overwhelmed with past events.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not joking. Go out with me.ā€ He repeats, not asking, but in a way where it sounded like he was basically telling you.Ā 
ā€œ...How far are you willing to go?ā€ You feel wetness brim your eyes, but your smile still remains- shaky yet present- as your voice cracks differently from the way you used to call his name.Ā 
ā€œWhat the hell are you-?ā€Ā 
A smirk and multiple laughs ring in your head from your memories before you finally snap.Ā 
Ā ā€œStop screwing around, alright?ā€
Tsukishimaā€™s brow quirks up once, and in the next few moments, you gasp as your back is suddenly touching a nearby locker- Tsukishimaā€™s hand resting by your side to create the illusion of entrapment as he leans in to you, and you donā€™t have to look up to know that his gaze was searing into you with a mixture of frustration and something else you couldnā€™t pinpoint.Ā 
ā€œWhoā€™s screwing around?ā€ His voice was quiet and irritable, and you swallow the lump in your throat as a few stray tears slip.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m just a joke, right?ā€ You mumble, barely audible as you breathe in his scent from decreased proximity.Ā ā€œYou boys always toy with girls like theyā€™re your little playthings-ā€Ā 
ā€œAre you talking about that shitty prank that bastard pulled on you a few months back?ā€Ā 
Your eyes snap up before you can stop them.Ā ā€œYou...know about that?ā€Ā 
ā€œWhy the hell are we here wasting our breaths on them?ā€ Tsukishima questions, irritation evident in his tone.Ā ā€œI donā€™t do these kinds of things, ever, and you seriously think Iā€™d be here telling you I like you as some kind of shit joke? Give me a break.ā€Ā 
You blink, believing his harsh words as Tsukishima sighs, relaxing his neck so his head falls on your shoulder.Ā 
ā€œOn the bright side you finally looked at me. Understood, I hear you loud and clear.ā€Ā 
You bite your lip when he moves to step away from you, your hands clasping at the sides of his shirt before you can stop yourself.Ā 
ā€œI...Iā€™ll go out with you, Tsukki.ā€Ā 
The blondeā€™s eyes widen a fraction as you bury your head in his chest.Ā 
ā€œJust...please please donā€™t be like the others.ā€Ā 
ā€œI thought I told you.ā€ Tsukkiā€™s pointer finger prods at your chin, causing you to look up at him as he leans down so your noses brush.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re wasting your breath on the wrong thing, Y/N.ā€Ā 
---------------------
General Works: @takemetovalhalla @savemesteeb @kasandrafaye @dreebbles
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clanwarrior-tumbly Ā· 3 years ago
Note
ive always had a soft-spot for a y/n who doesnt talk to communicate, even if theyre not mute. like instead of saying "yes" they nod or do that little "mh-hm!" hum noise.
idk why but it just makes me feel so much more emerged in a story because holy shit. they main character is acting and behaving like ME!!! granted i can and do talk, it just gets exausting very quickly.
sadly not a lotta people do stuff like that so im taking matters into my own hands, using my fave funky little guy - dark <3
i HC that he cant read minds cuz i find that the most boring soloution (and kinda uncomfortably because my brother in christ, you dont need to know what i think about)
i want at least one of them to ALWAYS carry around a little notepad and one of those tiny as hell pens that are technically there to be small, but do still work, just so they can write smth down
dark memorising y/ns orders at places just so they cant drain their energy by talkin to the cashier cuz wow that is TERRIFYING
them both only talking in private. if we go the route that all the mark egos live together, i bet the only people who have heard their voice (besides dark, ofc) are :
ā€¢ wilford, who slammed open their bedroom door while y/n was talking
ā€¢ google, cuz yknow. voice commands
ā€¢ yancy, just because i like him a lot <3
everyone else just has NO idea they even CAN talk. only times theyve seen them do anything resembling that is whispering smth very quietly in darks ear
okay now time for the daily slice of hurt/comfort cuz i cannot exsist w/o it -
y/n pushes themselves too hard one day with the talking. maybe they had to give a speech and it made them EXAUSTED afterwards. so when they very sluggishly get trough the mansion door, i think dark can immediatly sense that.. uh oh.. y/ns on the edge of falling asleep while still trying to take off the shoes and coat.
this man fuckin THROWING himself at y/n cuz !!!!!! what!!!! is happening!!!!!! dont pass!!!!! out in the doorway!!!!!!
him realising y/n is basically nonverbal again, not even making their small noises and hums, and just carrying them to their bedroom so they can now rest. the speech must have really worn them out if theyre like this :(
šŸ‘ C U D D L I N G šŸ‘
always good to cuddle this grayscale abomination <3 <3 <3
just them both laying in bed, y/n sleeping while dark messes with their hair or hands, being very worried for how his s/o is doing ):
maybe him (with CONSENT) hypnotising y/n so they can truly just... chill out and nap for a few hours. and if they seem to bot get better, i bet your ass that dr. iplier is gonna be called over by a dark whos freaking the hell out
but when they finally wake up, they just hug him a bit tighter and mumble a small thank you to him for putting up with them
Bonus : y/n always has their phone on them, and sometimes they text dark what theyre thinking as a way to communicate. maybe some of the randomest thoughts ever that leave poor dark staring at them and his phone like ???? huh ??? what ???????
fuck angry and angsty dark, im making him as soft and sweet as possible, but only to y/n because those are basically the laws of every dar x y/n fic
but yeah this was just very self indulgent cuz aint no way im talking that much irl
It is law that Dark is only soft around Y/N <3
Yeah I like the lack of dialogue we have in the w/ Mark series (aside from the one time we cough in heist's zombie route)
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lvlyhao Ā· 4 years ago
Text
怎youā€™re dating him but heā€™s not your bias怏
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dreamā€™s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and youā€™re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice thereā€™s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, todayā€™s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
š“–š“®š“·š“»š“®š“¼:Ā fluff (ā™”), angst (ā†),Ā comedy (ā˜¼),Ā crack (ā¢).
š“¦š“Ŗš“»š“·š“²š“·š“°š“¼:Ā lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesnā€™t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing:Ā nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved Ā© cherry-hyejin 2021.
*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:*āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ: *āœ§ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbrokenĀ 
just a little
not so much if itā€™s someone from dream, because theyā€™re his little brothers, but if itā€™s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
heā€™s not super dramatic about it or anything but i donā€™t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
ā€œdo they think heā€™s cooler than me?ā€
and itā€™s silly, yes, he knows
but itā€™s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic letā€™s pretend youā€™re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like ā€œYO, HEā€™S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD Iā€™M SO GLAD YOU AGREEā€
and
ā€œa hā€
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes heā€™ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please donā€™t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole ā€œimma steal your s/oā€ thing
and he doesnā€™t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know heā€™d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know heā€™s johnny
cue ā€œOH DUDE HEā€™S FLIRTINGā€
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggleĀ 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say heā€™s taking you out for dinner when heā€™s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like heā€™s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesnā€™t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
donā€™t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his ā€œshowing offā€ phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, heā€™ll be a bit more distantĀ 
he thinks heā€™s giving you space to interact with his friends but heā€™s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and itā€™s a competition that Does Not Existā„¢
but heā€™s not 100% aware of that
and youā€™re not that denseĀ 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
heā€™d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that heā€™s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now itā€™s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, youā€™ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
donā€™t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
theyā€™re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
heā€™d understand your point and be like ā€œok fineā€
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
heā€™s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you donā€™t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling ā€œaAAAAAH JINJJAAAAAā€ and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that itā€™s haechan weā€™re talking about and injunā€™s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like ā€œi donā€™t mindā€ but bruh does he mind
and it doesnā€™t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesnā€™t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that heā€™s your biasā€”not himā€”and then constantly praises himself over you
ā€œah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because iā€™m the best vocalist? or was it because iā€™m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERSā€”ā€
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now itā€™s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan wonā€™t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where youā€™ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like ā€œoh my god renjun iā€™m literally dating you, i donā€™t like haechan better or anything you little pile of furyā€
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
ā€œbro why are you like thisā€
ā€œbroā€
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because heā€™s not generally like that
heā€™s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
heā€™s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know weā€™re very prone to feeling left out because weā€™re just different from the others
so heā€™d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy andā€”
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i donā€™t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyoneā€™s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like theyā€™re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so muchā€”youā€”because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
donā€™t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuckā€™s talent along with you...
and now letā€™s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit heā€™s an angel (and iā€™m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(thereā€™s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like ā€œoOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiNā€ after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
iā€™m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i justĀ 
donā€™t see him that way
heā€™s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so heā€™s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as youā€™re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesnā€™t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
heā€™s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so letā€™s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaeminā€™s work than his
and itā€™s not something big or on purpose
itā€™s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if itā€™s just three words
ā€œyou did goodā€
and then youā€™re going towards him, heā€™s gonna feel like maybe he doesnā€™t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows heā€™s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means ā€œno funā€
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silenceĀ 
(yes i do know heā€™s chaotic and a crackhead, iā€™m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaeminā€™s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
heā€™s not gonna let it show that heā€™s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to ā€œstay strongā€ because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break weā€™re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we canā€™t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes youā€™ve guessed correctly, weā€™re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he doesĀ 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? heā€™s making it but you bet your ass heā€™s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WONā€™T EVEN EAT
but heā€™s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Bestā„¢
and itā€™s not like heā€™s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himselfā€”and maybe youā€”how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then youā€™re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out itā€™s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and iā€™m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute ā€œhUhā€ noises he does omg i love him so much
and youā€™re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and heā€™s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
heā€™s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge heā€™s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and thatā€™s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after thatā€™s been done and youā€™ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesnā€™t forget to order for someone and doesnā€™t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jenoā€™s hard work and heā€™ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
heā€™ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now heā€™s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when youā€™re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if itā€™s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HEā€™D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your babyā€™s bias, itā€™s 2 am
on the other hand, if itā€™s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet heā€™s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because heā€™s just so handsome and talented
IF ITā€™S MARK OSHDISJD
iā€™m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly donā€™t know if heā€™d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesnā€™t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesnā€™t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, thatā€™s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or donā€™t, heā€™s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
ā€œheā€™s pretty cute but iā€™m cuter right babyā€
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i canā€™t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
heā€™d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesnā€™t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why heā€™s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesnā€™t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
singleĀ 
one
and are they markā€™s?
lol no, theyā€™re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cultĀ 
<whispers> ā€œtell me iā€™m your biasā€Ā 
ā€œdonghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon childā€
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
heā€™s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows heā€™s lee donghyuck
heā€™s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he canā€™t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, heā€™s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for markā€™s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise heā€™ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well thatā€™s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
ā€œaw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say iā€™m your biasā€
if you still donā€™t do it, itā€™s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he canā€™t be your bias? pity, so heā€™s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea whatā€™s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over markā€™s heart and i mean more than usual???? and heā€™s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> ā€œno can do, iā€™m committedā€
ā€œiā€™m your partnerā€
ā€œno thatā€™s markā€
itā€™s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
ā€œdude
what HAHAHAā€
and you are so done, iā€™m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i donā€™t think thereā€™s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him itā€™s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
ā€œwill you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload eraā€
ā€œmark wasnā€™t in dream that era thoā€
ā€œyes i knowā€
i say heā€™s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc heā€™s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks likeĀ 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i canā€™t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, iā€™m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes ā€œoOoOoH sExYā€
yes that thing
heā€™s doing it to your biasĀ 
and youā€™re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF ITā€™S JISUNG
iā€™m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but letā€™s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
ā€œURI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now letā€™s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
theyā€™re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, itā€™s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
theyā€™re too powerful
theyā€™re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
theyā€™re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk donā€™t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying ā€œno way lolā€ when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube likeĀ 
ā€œy/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexualā€
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i donā€™t think heā€™d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesnā€™t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
heā€™s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldnā€™t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think itā€™s possible heā€™d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when heā€™s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know heā€™s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and itā€™s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but thereā€™s a 99% chance every once in a while heā€™ll start to feel too drained
and heā€™ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day donā€™t talk about your bias that much, or donā€™t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because theyā€™re scaredĀ 
i donā€™t have a lot to say aside from that so letā€™s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> ā€œwhy canā€™t you be like themā€
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like ā€œdUDE DONā€™T DO THATā€
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO heā€™s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: thatā€™s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that ā€œhelpā€ expression like theyā€™re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesnā€™t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say ā€œhyung theyā€™re being dumbasses againā€
this turned into ā€˜how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty togetherā€™ and iā€™m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesnā€™t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, heā€™s just protective)
heā€™s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldnā€™t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say thereā€™s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
youā€™ve guessed it, itā€™s jisung
i think most of the time heā€™d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because cā€™mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, pleaseā€”
heā€™d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because heā€™s somehow jealous of both????
and if he canā€™t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
itā€™s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like heā€™s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying ā€œthere, thereā€
and a genius idea is going to come to chenleā€™s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well itā€™s upgrade time
heā€™s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and heā€™s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who youā€™re befriending
bc i think since heā€™s really really close to jisung, he doesnā€™t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesnā€™t want jisung getting close to you just because youā€™re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imaginedā€”
heā€™d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier heā€™s putting up, heā€™ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if youā€™re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like itā€™s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
ā€œhey y/nā€
ā€œyeah babe?ā€
ā€œremember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your momā€
ā€œchenle the hell donā€™t talk abā€”ā€
ā€œbut then you tried using the microwave as a phoneā€
ā€œ...ā€
ā€œ...ā€
ā€œor that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyungā€
yeah so nowā€™s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HEā€™LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when itā€™s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoeverā€™s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, heā€™d whisper like
ā€œjisungā€
ā€œw-whatā€
ā€œwhy donā€™t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last nightā€
(honestly, iā€™d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
ā€œhe-heā€ <dolphin wheeze> ā€œhE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPINGā€ <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like heā€™s so happy now the three of you can hang out and thereā€™s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you donā€™t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think heā€™d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isnā€™t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or heā€™d think youā€™re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that youā€™re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, iā€™m talking to you)
and itā€™s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
youā€™re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of youĀ 
we donā€™t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus theyā€™re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i donā€™t mean heā€™d stop
bc cā€™mon guys
heā€™s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisungā€™s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
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itā€™s maknae time <plays i.nā€™s maknae on top>
i donā€™t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
heā€™s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said heā€™s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things loveĀ 
i think youā€™d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealousā€¦.
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i donā€™t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz youā€™re dating
doesnā€™t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think heā€™d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
heā€™s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if itā€™s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidenceĀ 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you donā€™t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe youā€™re even younger than him, maybe youā€™re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesnā€™t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where iā€™m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other personā€™s feelings bc itā€™s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you itā€™s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that youā€™d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungsĀ 
so no, never
thatā€™s not a thing that can happen
but you realize youā€™re too good for him and maybe see he doesnā€™t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, thatā€™s what heā€™s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think theyā€™d be surprised to see whatā€™s going on inside his pretty little head because itā€™s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i donā€™t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
itā€™s just that
his hyungs are so coolā€¦
HE CANā€™T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (iā€™m saying itā€™s taeyong for the sake of what iā€™ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyongā€™s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and supermā€™s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think heā€™d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
ā€œgood morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voielloā€™s paintings today :]ā€
ā€œwait i thought that was a pasta brandā€
heā€™s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, heā€™s not acting like himself (not that heā€™s childish, heā€™s just out of it) and you donā€™t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
youā€™re going to need some patience to try and show him youā€™d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
theyā€™re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE heā€™s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldnā€™t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus likeĀ 
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream hasā€¦
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway heā€™d come to talk to jisung asking like ā€œwhatā€™s wrong buddy :(ā€œ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldnā€™t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
itā€™s him
ā€œwhen they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they canā€™t spend one second without mentioning your name
itā€™s so cute; itā€™s always like ā€˜oh jisung would love thisā€™ or ā€˜jisung likes it that wayā€™
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that theyā€™re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mentionā€
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HEā€™S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning itĀ 
shut up iā€™m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it iā€™m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, donā€™t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if youā€™ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
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