#not giving it paragraph breaks though haha

[fansblogarchive]

Old Moons, New Friends

Hello my fellow fans, coming back at you with a new outlook on the world! Warning, I might start to get a little moody and out there with my writing style this time, but hey, I was feeling a little different lately! I'm sure I'll get some haters to call me out on it! Seriously, I never got where people with such negative attitudes come from. How do they see things? Do they open their eyes every morning, stare at the ceiling, and automatically think 'Ergh, everyone hates me', and go on about their day? Why would you want to live like that? Well if that's what they tell themselves they're gonna end up believing it. The perspective we view our world from changes everything. Depending on if you're gazing through the eye strain-inducing lit screen of a laptop or through the tiny lens of a telescope makes a big difference. As for me, well, it's no secret that Inanimate Insanity is the biggest part of my life. Frankly, you could call me obsessed and I couldn't deny it. Yet I never thought my borderline depressing infatuation with the series would become... well, you know, actually depressing. As I said, the show's the biggest thing in my life, but ironically, now that I'm here, it's so big with its numerous crazy happenstances and quirky inhabitants, it's easy to go unnoticed, or, well, no need to sugarcoat it, it's easy to be intentionally ignored. It got me thinking, how does it feel to accomplish landing on the moon? Granted, I don't really have to imagine since I've been to Mars for crying out loud, but hey, that only strengthens my point. That place didn't really capture my attention; I was busy being frustrated with my awful data service. Yeah, with my little blog "hiatuses" you know how much my service sucks, right, dear readers? But anyway, honestly, after the initial shock dies down, it must be pretty underwhelming, the moon. Like, whoo, you're standing on some celestial body where gravitational influence creates ocean tides. Big whoop. Gee, I'm starting to sound like Test Tube... hmph, funny, speaking of influences. I feel a lot happier now, knowing there's someone here who I don't have to worry will judge me and my ridiculously drawn-out and trivial observations. Test Tube a lot of the time is just saying stuff no one else seems to care about, too. But bless her, she couldn't care less if anyone else cared. She doesn't really let anything get her down, she just enjoys absorbing the world around her for what it is. I guess every place has a silver lining if you look hard enough, after all, Mars gave me that egg, didn't it? I know Test Tube really loves the moon, observing it from afar and adoring every little detail from its phases to its atomic radius. I hope for her sake, she never gets there. Now I turn the tables to you, readers. Has your opinion on something ever completely changed over time, as your perspective got a chance to widen? Email me your responses, you can find my address through the forum (hey, a little plug for that part of the site can't hurt!)

[corviiids]

companion write-up to the fic i just posted, 'call me by', which is a lawlight bodyswap fic inspired by your name / kimi no na wa.

don't read this post without reading the fic lol it is not going to make any sense!! im posting this because i think the fic is (well, sort of intentionally) a little vague and it might be fun to provide more context for anyone interested.

you obviously can read the fic without reading this though. this is just a thought dump. :)

this is technically an au, but i wrote it to be theoretically canon compliant if you squeeze things around and close your eyes a bit (as long as you don't think about timeframes lol and how many days are lapsing). i did fudge their ages a bit because otherwise light would be about 15, and i wanted him to be 17-18 because i think that makes more sense for him at this stage in his life lol. otherwise, i think it's actually kind of fun to imagine this happening alongside canon.

light leaves notes in L's home when he's in L's body and vice versa. generally they leave notes at regular intervals. longer paragraph breaks means a longer period between.

the mechanics of the bodyswap for the purposes of this fic:

like in your name, a swap starts when they wake up and finishes when they go to sleep.

once they swap back, they can't remember the names or faces (or any other identifying information, like career titles or voices) of people they personally encountered.

this includes themselves (i.e. if light in L's body encounters himself, he will not recognise it as himself and won't remember himself when he's back in his own body) and other familiar people (i.e. light won't remember that L works with his father, light wouldn't recognise L if he met him in his own time)

but if a person could be identified with public information, then they can retain their memory of that person (i.e. L doesn't struggle to remember ryuga hideki).

light is two years before L. i loosely used the anime timeline, so the kira investigation kicks off in about 2006-7, which is when L is. light is in 2004.

light nicknames himself asahi for no particular reason and nicknames L ryuga hideki after his sister's favourite idol. LABB confirms that L likes to take his pseudonyms from his past, so i thought it would be funny if the reason why L named light&soichiro 'asahi' and himself 'ryuga hideki' in canon is because light-of-the-past came up with those names already. (in canon that means that light would recognise those names immediately of course.)

when light's dresser catches fire as a result of L's meddling, it's not exactly the same trap as the one light sets in canon, but i think it's something similar because that's the way light's brain works. it does minimal damage but he still gets in trouble haha.

L figures out who light is pretty early on, which is why he's so careful and reluctant when light persists in trying to connect with L outside of the swapping. he also (unbeknownst to light) starts concealing information about the investigation from light because he believes light will later become kira and doesn't want to give him an edge.

light knows that L is a famous detective, and might get a vaaague inkling, but i don't think it fully clicks for him.

the body-swapping stops right before the yotsuba sting in the helicopter. after it stops, light doesn't open L's note for a long time because he is hoping they will swap again.

after light opens the note, he realises that L had known perfectly well who he was and struggles to understand why L didn't tell him + why L emphasised so hard not to open that note until after they'd stopped swapping. he figures, or fears, that the reason they stopped swapping is because L died, which is more or less the truth.

the last note takes place in 2006 after light picks up the death note and finally puts the pieces together that he was the kira suspect that L had been investigating. at this point he realises that he has been given the chance he'd been hoping for to save L's life by choosing not to become kira. his choice whether or not to take it, but........

[comethead]

hi hi hello! never made a request before i’m kinda new to tumblr lol

ANYWAYS.

jason x fem!reader and reader broke her ankle and ofc jason is being super sweet and gentle and eventually reader really wants to fuck him but he’s hesitant bc broken ankle but like super sweet gently sex?? (also pretty pet names please i’d actually melt)

- 🦚 (can that be my anon?)

omg hiii, yes! 🦚 anon I hope you're still around cuz haha school got in the way but here is your request! hope you enjoy >u<

Care for You

MDNI // smut // Jason Todd x Reader

(afab reader, creampie, praise, gentle sex, pussy eating, no use of y/n)

Ao3 Link

“Hey, hey, settle down, I’ll grab that for you.”

You huff, sitting back down on the bed as Jason reaches for the magazine you were eyeing. They sat at a pile at the foot of your bed, which you’ve been confined to for as long as Jason was around. That being, always, as he hasn’t left your side since you broke your ankle, with the exception of going on patrol (but not without telling you a hundred times over to give him a call for absolutely anything). 

You give your boyfriend a peck on the cheek once he closes the distance between you two to hand you your magazine. “Thank you Jay, though I will say I’m not that fragile you know,” you pout, flipping open the booklet to the first couple of pages. He snuggles up to you, resting his head on your shoulder as he murmurs, “I know, but I’m gonna take care of you regardless. Can’t have my baby going and breaking her other ankle.” You smack him lightly on the arm for the last comment as he chuckled. You puff out your cheeks in mock anger and turn your head swiftly away from him. Gently, he places a hand on your chin to turn you to look back at him. “C’mon, you can’t stay mad at me for long, can you sweetheart?” You melt under his gaze, and flush as he presses a soft kiss to your lips. You press your lips against his when he draws back, and he gladly returns your passion by deepening the kiss. Before long, the two of you are making out, breaking apart for air before locking lips again. 

You tug at his shirt, beckoning him to take it off. You’re incredibly turned on, the way his lips are wet and red from making out, watching his broad chest rise and fall as he pants. “Hey,” he breathes, “I don’t think we should…your ankle-”. You shush him, and whip out that magazine from earlier. You flip to a page and show him a little diagram with a small paragraph describing it. “Look, it's a sex position that won't strain or jostle my ankle too much,” you say proudly, grinning at the way Jason’s eyes widen. “Jeez, my pretty baby is doing her research, huh?”, he chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You smile back at him, tossing the magazine aside. “Soooooo..?” you ask, running your hands down his chest and to his stomach, noting the way his breath hitches. “Mmm, I really think you shouldn’t risk it babe,” he groans, catching your hands and holding them in place.

“Oh Jay, I promise I’ll say something if it hurts at all and we’ll stop immediately. Pretty please?”, you whine, gazing hopefully into his eyes. Jason sighs, releasing your hands and moving his to your breasts as he massages them. You whimper, placing your hands on top of his as he whispers, “Alright, you better keep that promise though.” The low notes of his voice sends tingles down to your tummy and you can barely contain your arousal as you moan, his fingers pinching your sensitive nipples. Moving down, he pulls your shorts down slowly, making sure not to move your ankle too much. Kissing your bare thighs, you suppress another moan when you feel his hot breath against your cunt. Jason moves your panties aside as he licks a broad stripe on your folds, feeling your wetness on his tongue. You nearly clamp your legs around his head in pleasure, your head thrown back and mouth open in a silent plea for more. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he holds you gently yet firmly in place as he continues eating you out. Circling his tongue around your clit, you let out a breathy moan from the stimulation as he works at bringing you to your climax. Adjusting your legs with the slightest of movements and with great care, Jason pulls back from your soaked cunt, your pleasure evident on his chin. “Fuck baby, you look so damn pretty,” he breathes, gazing at you with half-lidded eyes. You flush, covering your face. “Hey, don’t get all shy on me alright?” he gently pushes your hand away from your face as he cups your cheek in one hand. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he says, kissing you softly. You return the gesture, and the taste of yourself has your pussy clenching around nothing. “Oh Jay, please-” 

“Mhm, I got you baby.” He’s pulling his boxers down now, his hard cock bumping against your sensitive clit. Slowly, he begins to push his length in, whispering praises and groaning at the way you squeeze around him. Thrusting gently so as to not jostle your legs too much, you feel another orgasm build up. His steady pace keeps you moaning and crying out his name as you feel his dick fill you up. “Oh fuck,” he pants, leaning down to press little kisses to your neck up to your face. As much as you’re able to, you rock your hips onto his cock, feeling the stretch of your pussy accommodating his girth when he bottoms out. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m- ngh- I’m close,” he moans, thrusting faster. You whimper as you feel your own orgasm approaching, finally cumming when your sweet Jason cums deep into your cunt, filling you up. The two of you stay like that for a while, with him in you and the both of you breathing heavily. He finally pulls out and carefully lays down next to you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Told you I’d take care of you,” he smirks, and you roll your eyes in false annoyance, happy to have had sex with your favorite boy.

[charmandabear]

Office Hours: caught that fever, I shouldn't be here (4/16)

Pairing: Astarion/Named f!Tav Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3.5k Chapter tags/warnings: sexting, ruined makeup, mirror sex, red flag ass behavior, biting/blood drinking (full list on ao3)

Summary:

Every little touch or glance between Rosalind and Astarion causes a spark, and Rosalind's worried that something is about to catch fire.

Aaaaaaaaand here's chapter 4. I accidentally made this banner last week because I completely forgot about the Gale chapter. Oops lol. But this is almost entirely new content, maybe a few paragraphs were written prior but everything else is brand new. Hope you enjoy!

Next chapter ~ Read it on AO3 ~ Masterlist Office Hours playlist on Spotify

“Twice in less than a tenday, you lucky girl,” Shadowheart says with a sly smile, tucking her feet underneath her and holding out her wine so it doesn’t spill on her white couch. Rosalind hides her pink face behind a deep sip from her glass.

“I dunno, man. I can’t tell what he wants with me,” she says with a groan, putting her wine down on the coffee table and wrapping her arms around her knees.

“Well, what do you want with him?” Shadowheart asks plainly, as though answering is the simplest thing in the world. Rosalind scrunches her nose, unsure if she just doesn’t know the answer, or if she does know the answer and doesn’t want to say.

“I… I don’t know? Like obviously the sex is good. Really good,” she adds under her breath, and Shadowheart gives her a salacious look as her flush deepens. “But whenever he says more than five words I want to gouge my eyes out.”

“Is that really how you feel, or have you just convinced yourself to feel that way?” Shadowheart asks carefully, earning a glare from Rosalind. Nevertheless, she can’t bring herself to disagree, so she drops her less-than-menacing expression and covers her face in her hands. Taking a different approach, Shadowheart tries, “Walk me through the end again, right before the arcana professor came back in?”

“Ugh, I still can’t believe that happened. What a nightmare.” Rosalind takes another sip while Shadowheart stares at her pointedly. “Okay, he made some joke about having sex in my office, then I sort of hit him in like a ‘Stop it, you,’ kind of way, and then we like… hugged?” She recalls the events to the best of her ability. It’s been a fiveday already, and everything was a bit hazy to begin with.

“Did he seem sincere when he said it? Was it a ‘haha, jk… unless?’ sort of joke?” Shadowheart asks, and Rosalind realizes that her friend wouldn’t look out of place with a deerstalker cap and a pipe with the way she’s interrogating her. She stares blankly into her wine as she contemplates the question.

“It had enough plausible deniability to save himself from embarrassment. But he did seem kinda earnest, I think,” she finally settles on, and Shadowheart nods judiciously.

“So is that it? You’ll trade off fucking in each other’s offices until, what, someone catches you in the act?” she asks bluntly, and Rosalind almost chokes on her wine.

“I would certainly hope not! But I suppose,” Rosalind sighs, trying to decide if she’s ready to say the words aloud or not. “If he asked. I wouldn’t say no.”

“Asked what?” Shadowheart narrows her eyes, and Rosalind groans.

“You’re going to make me say it?” she whines.

“Yes.” Shadowheart stares at her without blinking.

“If he asked. Me out. On a date.” Rosalind breaks up the phrase, as though saying it continuously would hurt in some way. Shadowheart pats her knee sympathetically.

“See, was that so hard?” she asks, voice teasingly condescending.

“Yes, excruciating,” Rosalind pouts, taking a gulp of her wine.

***

Rosalind doesn’t see much of Astarion in the following days, but whenever she does, they share a secretive smile that sends a jolt of lightning right to her core. He’s far less aggressive in his attempts to fluster her, and she can only hope it means that they’ve called an unspoken truce. Nevertheless, she tries to temper her expectations so she’s not mildly disappointed every day that passes where Astarion doesn’t pull her into a supply closet. Years on various dating apps, and you haven’t been this down bad for someone in a while.

“Don’t forget that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead opens in just over a tenday, so if you haven’t gotten your tickets, now would be a good time,” Rosalind projects over the sounds of her students packing up. “And if you don’t want to pay for a ticket, you can see the show for free if you sign up to usher.”

“Wait, we have to pay? Where do we sign up to do the usherin’ thing?” Dondo’s head pops out from the huddle of his friends, conspiring to do gods know what.

“At the box office, but Dondo, if you’re going to be an usher you need to show up an hour early and be ready to work, understood?” Rosalind sharpens her voice and the cheeky freshman gives her a salute. “Alright everyone, enjoy the fiveday break.”

Once most of the students have filed out of the classroom, Rosalind lets out a heavy sigh and presses the heels of her palms against her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. She’s very much looking forward to cracking open the bottle of wine in her fridge with Shadowheart later.

She walks past her office towards the bathroom at the end of the hall, scrolling through emails on her phone. She doesn’t see Astarion coming from the opposite direction and stops short of barrelling into him. They lock eyes and smile politely, then she steps to her left just as he steps to his right. They share an awkward laugh just as it happens again in the opposite direction. After another few seconds of uncomfortable shuffling, he takes her by her shoulders and moves her to the side. She gives him a chagrined smile and quickly walks past, trying to ignore the burning in her cheeks and the way her arms tingle where he touched her.

She gets to the bathroom and closes the door behind her, leaning against it to brace herself. Her stomach is roiling, though whether it’s from the embarrassment, the insatiable lust, or something else entirely, she can't quite tell. She wets a paper towel with cool water and presses it to the back of her neck. She stares at her reflection in the mirror, trying to will herself into temperance as drops of rapidly warming water run down her cleavage. It's a losing battle as the image of him bending her over the sink pops into her mind. She shakes her head, trying to think of something else, but that only makes it worse.

He has her pressed up against the bathroom door and with her wrists pinned together above her head.

No, stop, she scolds herself. But the second she banishes that image another one comes flooding in, her leg draped over his shoulder as he’s lightly sucking her clit with his fingers curled deep inside her.

Her phone buzzes suddenly, causing her to jump out of her filthy reverie. She looks at her screen to see a text from an unknown number.

-Darling, I can smell you through the door, it’s obscene.

She lets out an audible yelp and she immediately hears his laugh on the other side of the bathroom door. Is he just standing there?

-How the fuck did you get my number?

-Hope’s computer is not nearly as secure as it should be.

-Did it occur to you to just *ask* me?

-Now, where is the fun in that?

Rosalind grits her teeth but still finds herself suppressing a smile. He should not be this charming when he’s being a little shit. Before she can fully gather her thoughts, her phone buzzes again.

-Well, aren’t you going to take care of yourself?

She stares at her phone, mouth agape and cheeks quickly turning red. Her brain can’t formulate words, nevermind a response, but she doesn’t need to wait long for another text from him.

-If you don’t know where to start, I can talk you through it.

Her heart begins to pound as she pieces together what he’s suggesting. Her fingers shake as she hesitantly types her response.

-What should I do first?

She can picture the smile that spreads across his face, one of mischief and glee and wickedness. She leans her back against the door, breathing heavily as she waits for his first instruction.

-Touch your breast over that cute green sweater you’re wearing. Squeeze it, nice and slow. How does that feel?

She does as she’s told, fondling her breast with one hand and continuing to hold her phone with the other. Her nipple gets hard under her touch, eager for more.

-good

It’s a bit of a pain to stretch her left thumb across her screen, but she finds this too exciting to care. She imagines him leaning against the wall outside the bathroom, one long leg crossed over the other, looking completely unfazed. If anyone were to walk by, it would just look like he’s stopping to text.

-Lovely. Is your nipple poking through your sweater? Give it a twist. Don’t be shy about it, you know that I wouldn’t.

She pinches her nipple through the cotton of her sweater and just barely catches the moan as it escapes her lips.

-I heard that, very good.

She wants to curse his heightened hearing, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t add to the thrill.

-Tell me, how wet are you between your legs?

She moves her right hand down her front, slipping it beneath her skirt and touching the apex of her thighs. She’s already soaked through her panties and tights.

-very

-How do you taste?

She exhales sharply as she feels herself clench around nothing. She presses against her damp tights and licks the moisture off her finger.

-salty. Bitter

-Now, I don’t believe that for a second. You tasted sweet, last I checked.

Her breath wracks through her chest, her head fogged up by a thick cloud of lust.

-Get a better sample. Straight from the source.

She bites down on her lip to stifle her whimper. She pushes her hand down past the waistband of her tights and panties and slips a finger between her folds, scooping up the pool of arousal that’s formed there. She slowly brings it to her mouth and gives a tentative lick.

-A little, yea

-Don’t hold back, darling. Give those fingers a nice thorough suck. For me.

His words make her squirm, but she follows his instructions nonetheless. She takes her ring finger in her mouth and presses her tongue against it. Tasting her slick pulls a moan out of her, and she drops her head back against the door.

-Oh yes, I liked that. Very good. Would you like to properly touch yourself?

-pls

-Good. Get rid of those tights completely. They’re just in our way.

Rosalind rolls her eyes, the illusion breaking just a bit. Does he know what a pain in the ass it is to fully take them off? Can’t she just push them down to her knees? He seems to be able to sense her hesitation and his response is quick.

-I could always come in there and rip them myself, dear, but I don’t think you want that again.

The feeling of exasperation clashes with her arousal unexpectedly. She finally sighs and gets to unlacing her Doc Martens before sliding off her tights, panties, and socks in a single motion. The tile is cold beneath her bare feet and she’s just grateful that they keep the faculty bathrooms clean.

-ok

-Good girl.

The praise stirs something deep within her and she lets out her most embarrassing noise yet. She slaps her free hand over her mouth and she hears him laugh again on the other side of the door.

-Noted. Now, I believe I said something about touching yourself properly?

She slides her hand back between her legs and brushes her middle finger over her clit, letting out a shaky breath.

-Start slow. Small circles. Tease yourself.

She follows his instruction and her hips buck eagerly into her hand. She likes to take her time with herself, but this is borderline excruciating. Or maybe it’s just because she knows he’s merely feet away and she’d rather have him touching her.

-How does that feel?

-ineed more

-Do you, now? Start with just one finger, your pointer.

She groans softly at the insertion, breathing heavily.

-Does that feel good?

-yea

In truth she’s craving so much more, but she’s afraid if she makes that clear he’ll slow down even further.

Although honestly, would he even know? She can touch herself however she wants, she doesn’t have to play along.

But something keeps her from defying his instruction. It may be a stupid game, and she may be frustrated, but she’s more turned on than she ever remembers being at the height of her relationship with Aradin.

-Put in a second finger. Slide them in and out. Fuck your fingers like they’re mine.

He doesn’t need to have vampiric hearing to hear the guttural noise she makes. She moves her fingers in and out, but it’s not nearly enough to be satisfying. She widens her stances to try to get deeper, and she pushes against the door, making it rattle.

-Very good. Faster.

She keens and speeds up her fingers, palming her clit desperately. Her breathing is shallow and she tries to picture those piercing red eyes looking at her over his glasses, his devilish smile with a single fang poking out. But her imagination isn’t doing the trick and her wrist is beginning to cramp.

She needs to feel him inside her.

-pls more

-I need

-A station

-fuck

-I need u

The fingers on her left hand shake as she tries to text a single coherent thought. She tries to give herself the relief she needs, but at this point he’s the only one who can satisfy her. She pushes herself against the door, whimpering and whining, until her phone buzzes again.

-Unlock the door.

She gasps and pulls off the door as quickly as she can, unlocking it with her slick hand. Astarion immediately bursts in and slams it behind him before pulling her into a crushing kiss. She hardly cares when she drops her phone and it clatters to the tile floor. Considering how composed his messages were, his appearance tells a completely different story. There’s a thin sheen of sweat across his brow and the tips of his ears are pink. Their hands fumble together at his belt, trying to get it undone as quickly as possible. She pushes his pants and underwear down to his knees and moans when she sees his cock, flushed and a pearly bead of precum at the tip. He doesn’t waste any time in hooking a hand under her knee and pressing it against the door, spreading her wide so he can easily push himself in up to the hilt. She groans when he bottoms out, her walls clenching around the sudden fullness.

“Gods, you feel good,” he moans as she slides her hands into his hair and pulls him closer, trying to feel as much of him as possible. She latches onto the left side of his neck, nipping and licking the cool flesh, savoring the sweet saltiness of his sweat. He shudders and digs his fingers into her thigh as he begins to pound into her properly, each thrust making the door shake.

“Astarion, yes, gods, this is—” Rosalind can barely string two words together so desperate is her need. She clings onto the back of his neck, rutting her hips to meet his. She’s already so close with all of his teasing. He presses his forehead into the crook of her neck and her head falls to the side, her eyes landing on the mirror above the sink. She sees only her own reflection from the waist up, disheveled and well-fucked, lipstick smeared from his abuse. She whimpers and squeezes her eyes shut in embarrassment.

“Eyes open, love,” he growls, his free hand grabbing her hair and keeping her head turned toward the mirror. “I want you to see how pretty you are when you come.” She whimpers but complies, seeing her flushed features contort with pleasure and her breasts pressed flat by his chest. He pistons his hips into her, picking up the pace and revving up her climax with it. His breath is heavy on her neck, and she’s struck with a dizzying thought.

“Fuck, Astar— I’m close— bite me,” she manages, twisting her fingers into his curls. He grunts in assent and sinks his fangs into her flesh; she watches her mouth fall open into a silent moan as the shards of ice melt into that sublime warmth. Tears form in the corners of her eyes and mix with her mascara to create dark smudges under her eyes. A single drop of her blood runs down her decolletage and disappears into her cleavage. The sight of her face deep in bliss, of the red rivulet coating her skin, the feeling of his cock stretching her out as she throbs around his length is all too much and sends her crashing over the edge. She can feel his climax nearly instantaneously as he snaps his hips into hers, his cock pulsing as it spurts into her.

She rides out the wave of her pleasure, growing lightheaded as he continues to drink, and it’s only when she starts to grow limp in his arms that he pulls away. She finally turns away from the mirror to see him breathing heavily and licking his blood-smeared lips. There’s a look in his eye even more wild than the other times he’s drunk her blood.

“Gods, that was…” he pants, and Rosalind giggles sleepily.

“Did it taste different?” she asks, barely thinking as she reaches out and swipes her thumb across his lips. He watches in astonishment as she licks her blood off her finger and contemplates the flavor.

“It— yes. Very.”

Rosalind smiles, pleased to see Astarion struggling to form a sentence just as much as she usually does. She looks down at her tights strewn across the bathroom floor and groans.

“I can’t believe you had me take them all the way off,” she whines, picking up the nylon bunched with her damp panties.

“I presume this is still preferable to me tearing through them,” he smirks, cocking an eyebrow. “Although if you don’t want to worry about it…” He gently takes her wrist and pulls her hand still holding the bundle to his nose, inhaling deeply. She bites her lip as he maintains intense eye contact with her. “I can always keep them for myself.”

She lets out a shaky breath before snatching the bunch back with a laugh. “You’re a fucking freak,” she says without a hint of malice, and his face breaks out in a grin.

“Looking at yourself in the mirror again, are you?” he retorts with his ringing giggle. She rolls her eyes and turns away to hide her giddy smile.

“Is the hallway clear?” Rosalind asks once she’s finished lacing up her boots. Astarion presses an ear to the door and she holds her breath.

“I hear someone down the hall. Let me leave first and I’ll text you when the coast is clear,” he says in a hushed tone. She nods and he stares at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. He plants a quick kiss on her lips before slipping quietly out the door. She stands in the middle of the single stall bathroom awkwardly and suddenly catches sight of her ruined face in the mirror. She rolls her eyes — yet another consequence that only she needs to deal with — and grabs a paper towel, carefully wiping off her makeup to the best of her ability. It’s not terribly effective without makeup remover, but she manages to leave her lips only slightly stained and the black rings around her eyes significantly reduced.

As she’s resetting her face, she continually glances at her phone, waiting for his text. When she’s finally put herself back together and still no text, she’s worried that he’s pranking her. She presses her ear to the door, straining to hear any signs of voices, but her hearing isn’t nearly as sharp as his. She’s just about to give up and leave when her phone buzzes.

-All clear.

Then, after a moment,

-Thank you. You were a very good girl.

Her breath hitches before she groans at herself. She doesn’t need to let herself get this wrapped around his finger, that seems like a recipe for disaster.

Rosalind is relieved to see that the hallway is, in fact, empty. She pulls her keys out of her skirt pocket and unlocks her office door, and she’s immediately hit with Astarion’s fragrance. She sniffs her sweater, trying to figure out if it’s just lingering on her, but she has her answer when she sees a note left on her desk in a tidy, elegant hand.

Let me make you dinner. Tomorrow at 7.

Below it is an Upper City address.

Rosalind’s heart begins to pound with excitement, and the exhilaration of the invitation is almost enough for her to ignore the fact that he broke into her office to leave it.

Almost.

[sircantus]

LIFE IS STRANGE AU??

Can we get to know more about it, sir Cantus🙏

I can offer a snippet!! Its a crimeboys au, mostly from phils Pov according to my plot points, the basic summary is that Tommy has telekinesis powers, he causes Problems when running away from his foster home with Wilbur, him and Wil go on the run, and then they get picked up by Techno, who is not Exactly a man of the law but takes decent care of them. things at some point go sideways and Wilbur gets separated and put into a hospital for Injuries, and Phil is the person who has to try and gain his trust to figure out what the fuck has been going on (until bedrock bros to come and break him out haha)

Its mostly based off the second game of Life is Strange, bc i rly love the brothers story and i also really like that aspect of an outsider pov trying to understand whats going on (and trying to believe it)

—

Summary:

Phil leans forward, pen now discarded beside Wilbur’s lap. He’s been looking at Wil this entire time, really, but now it feels a little heavier. A bit too much to bear.

“I would like you to be honest with me.” The man says, voice soft. “If you want to be.”

Wilbur presses his lips tightly shut, thinking of Tommy’s smiling face, the leaves floating up around his hair, the sun in their eyes.

“I’d be willing to listen.”

(Or, Phil has heard plenty of stories from mistreated kids. It’s his job to open them up and help. This story is… maybe out of his skill set.)

(Or, or, life is strange AU. Wilbur is just trying to protect his little brother from everything he can, in any way he can. Phil just wants to try and protect him.)

—

And here is a snippet of the first few paragraphs!

—

Wilbur Soot. Sixteen. Brother of Tommy Soot, ten years old, whose whereabouts are currently unknown.

Both brothers are suspected to have had involvement in multiple instances of property damage across four different towns. Wilbur Soot is suspected to have had involvement in the mysterious, fiery death of their previous foster parent, Dream Taken, who was found dead at the scene at their previous residence.

For the past four months, legal enforcement has had trouble catching them as they run up and down the state. There have recently been scattered reports of an adult man now traveling with them; caucasian, pink dyed hair, tattoos on his right arm. No one has been able to pinpoint who that particular stranger is, though.

No one has been able to figure out where he took Tommy after the peculiar explosion that occurred in the quiet, forest town of l’manburg.

Wilbur is apparently outright refusing to talk. Phil doesn’t blame him.

The hospital setting isn’t something that provides comfort, to be honest, and with all the doctors and nurses prodding at Wil with a wariness like he’ll bite if they step too close. It's a wonder the kid hasn’t done much other than scowl for the past three days. Phil does his best to never set up expectations in his head before he sees his patients-- kids can always be so much different than you’d assume, after all-- but Wilbur’s file in his hands tells a story.

Suspected murder. Involvement in multiple explosions, multiple fires, multiple buildings crashing down into dust. Wherever this kid went with his little brother, destruction followed on his heels. On the day they were finally able to bring him in, pulling him from the rubble, he came kicking and screaming, even with his broken ribs and internal bleeding. Rumor around the halls says he gave one of the doctors a black eye when he woke up from the first surgery. The handcuff on his wrist to keep him confined to his hospital bed has stayed there ever since.

By all accounts, Wil is a dangerous, violent criminal, one who isn’t partial to conversation. Phil should probably expect an instant failure the second he walks into this room.

A failure isn’t what he sees when he comes through the door, though.

He sees a scared kid.

—

Aaand thats all im gonna give bc im self conscious about the rest of that story haha!! But yeah its meant to be long bonding arc with Phil and Wilbur in the hospital environment, with Phil kinda having this pressure behind him to get an Answer and Wilbur refusing to Speak bc how could he believe him? Would he even? Tommy has superpowers, thats not even something that would be safe for others to know.

Eventually Wilbur does tell him the whole story, hoping Phil will believe it and Phil…doesnt, but he doesn’t show that. He thinks Wil is a bit traumatized actually but then Tommy and Techno come back to yoink Wilbur and Phil sees he was telling the truth and ends up going with them bc he wants to help, he really does

Also the title is pretty plain, life is strange au haha yup

[metalomagnetic]

The rollercoaster of emotions when reading it runs in the blood is insane, I honestly eat up everything well written but this one is especially good like SHIT

Write all the bottom toms you want, the bitchier the comments are the bitchier bottom Tom gets, reading those comments made me mad for you, the entitlement is insane, let powerful men bottom 😭 break free of those stupid weird roles

It’s funny I love everyone no matter how much they frustrate me I need the emotions give me all the feelings

except for Orion (the groan that escapes me when his name is said DAMN JUST STAY DEAD)

James death from Sirius perspective always gets me but it was a doubled with Voldemort I couldn’t BREATHE

Anyway love love love all the rare ships you write about, is there a new ship you plan on writing about?

'Let powerful men bottom' should be written on T-shirts and mass produced 😂

Orion, my beloved! How can you hate him???( I know why, completely valid, but I love me some fucked up men haha) There's a paragraph with him next chapter, alive (sort of) for a few minutes, so you shall groan doubly! I do hope you'll forgive me.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my rare-pair fics! ❤️

Yes- I want to write Sirius/Harry, and/or Sirius/Draco at some point. Though real life is being a bitch to me at the moment, so we shall see. I also have an itch to write a Lucius/Astoria one shot, and a Lucius/Ginny one (mostly to annoy Molly and Arthur).

Hope you're doing well!

[lagunapoint]

I’m really hoping for a happy arc for Lavellan and Solas in Veilguard, oh god. No surprises like him being trapped in the Fade while she’s stuck in reality, or having to make a painful choice about who gets to stay alive. Just no, please.

There are so many words and shattered hopes here, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop myself. Grab a cup of tea, some cookies, and sit next to me, my dear Solavellan.

And now, it’s time to lay all the cards on the table. You know, I can’t help but connect the story of Doctor Who and Rose with Lavellan and Solas in my mind. These storylines mean so much to me, and they both break my heart in the same way.

Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with the Doctor Who fandom, I tried to write this as comfortably and clearly as possible for our little refuge.

Relationships that are doomed from the start but where the characters fight through all the difficulties just to see their loved one again... these fill me with awe and pain. (I’m not normal, haha) When creating such relationships, writers have a huge responsibility, and you can’t just trample on expectations, like what happened to me (and many others in the fandom) with the ending of Doctor and Rose.

(A bit of a description of the Doctor and Rose’s love so you can better understand why I’m so anxious of the Solavellan part of the fandom. Warning: Spoilers below. If you’re planning to watch the series starting with the Tenth Doctor, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs.)

He’s immortal, lonely, brooding, and full of regret. He chose the death of his people for the sake of the universe’s survival. He mourns them, he’s broken, lost. He can never undo his decision, and he no longer knows who he is. And then he meets her. She rekindles the light and hope in him. She helps him make the right choices. She changes her life for him, falls in love, even though she knows their relationship is impossible. He feels the same, but it’s like he doesn’t want to admit it. He enjoys her presence. For the first time in almost a thousand years, he falls in love. It slowly changes his world. And oh my God, their maximum intimacy is in their looks, their hugs, and the warm touches of their hands. (There were two kisses, but another being was in her body at the time. So it doesn’t count!)

How do you think this relationship ends?

It crashes into reality. She sacrifices herself and ends up trapped in a parallel reality where he can never exist. Never. It’s the end for them. Three minutes on Bad Wolf Bay. Buckets of tears. He fades away, and she’s left alone, crying along with me.

For years, she searched for a way to see him again. Her life changed so much it’s hard to imagine.

And then the moment of their reunion comes.

Hold your breath

And what did the writers come up with? Feel the strangeness of this decision: since she’s in another world where he can’t be with her, since he’s immortal and she’s mortal, let’s just create his mortal double and give him to her. They’ll be happy. haha. Happy ending.

Just imagine this horrible scenario (forgive me for this), where they create a double of Solas, stripped of all his godhood, mortal, and he’s given to Lavellan.

And Solas, the real Solas, with bitterness and full awareness of what’s happening, gives his Lavellan to him, then walks away into the mist. He loves her so much that he lets her go to another version of himself so she can be happy. Ugh. I feel awful.

Even as a teenager, I understood that this was utter nonsense. She’d leave that double in a day. It’s so obvious, damn it. It’s the worst decision the writers could’ve made for such a strong relationship.

And that’s it, the end. For almost 20 years, there’s been nothing more, and there won’t be. It’s over, and it’s just brutal. It’s a love story that got a happy ending only in fanfiction, fan art, and role-playing.

And that’s why I’m so scared for the outcome of the relationship in Veilguard. God, let it be a worthy ending for all of us few Solavellans. Damn it, this part of the fandom deserves some happiness already.

I truly wish I could have the chance to create a good ending for Solas and Lavellan. I’m sure that even 10 minutes of a cutscene would be enough to make us happy. If we don’t get happiness, then I’ll write another endless rant. In any case, there are always amazing authors, artists, and creators who can heal any plot shortcomings.

There’s so much sadness and doubt here, oh ir abelas, vhenan

[kimpossibly]

Okay but can I get a Wednesday x reader on how her and Wednesday argue when it gets really bad💕 maybe reader walks out and they both make up after giving each other space

𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 -> w. addams

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi yes???? I love this so much?????? Healthy relationships?????? Thank you so much for your wonderful words???? But seriously I love this kind of angsty fluff stuff fr...this is how I survive in this cruel, cruel world HAHA. Also I'm pretty sure I've used the phrase "thaw her frozen heart" in a Wednesday fic before, but oh well! I'm a sucker for stuff like that. Hope you enjoy this one! I'm really proud of this :') (Also peep the little gif paragraph break thingie I made on Photoshop...I'm a little too proud of it...)

PAIRING: wednesday addams x gn!reader WARNINGS: arguing

ARGUING WITH WEDNESDAY ADDAMS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. She's as sadistic as they come, even when not mildly discontented (which in Wednesday Speak is as close as you can get to happy), and she never backs down from a fight. And, though a lot of Wednesday's sharp edges become a bit dull around you, that doesn't mean that she'll let you win an argument.

"You can't just endanger someone's life because they bother me, Wednesday!" you shouted. That particular argument was nasty — while you and Wednesday fit together seamlessly most of the time, she occasionally did things that you just couldn't agree with.

This time Wednesday's target had been Leah. Leah was one of the Scales, and one of the more insufferable ones at that. For the past week or so, Leah had for some reason chosen you as the target of her constant torture. She tripped you during class, used her siren song to make you humiliate yourself in front of the school, and on one occasion even managed to push you down the main staircase without anyone around her seeing. Wednesday had seen, of course. Wednesday always saw.

So she concocted a plan: she sent Leah a fake letter in her boyfriend's handwriting, telling her to meet him at a very specific location in the woods near Nevermore. As expected, Leah took the bait and made her way deep into the woods after dark. Instead of finding her boyfriend there, she was met with a pack of hungry wolves — and she quickly noticed that someone had sewn raw meat into the pockets of her clothing.

Leah returned to school half an hour later — out of breath, scratched around the ankles, and terrified. Wednesday watched her return with a smug grin — all it took was one look at her and you knew instantly this had been her doing.

Wednesday hadn't really expected you to be pleased (she had made peace with the fact that you two had very different moral codes), but she certainly hadn't expected you to react like this. "I only inflict pain upon people who deserve it," she said, her monotone voice never wavering in resolve, "and Leah deserved it."

"You don't get to decide that!" you said, rage curling your hands into fists.

"Would you rather be pushed around and ridiculed for the rest of the semester?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but your throat constricted and tears rushed to your waterline before you could get a word out. You paused, taking in a breath and willing your voice to steady. "I don't need you to fight my battles, Wednesday. If you can't respect that, then..." you trailed off, not quite sure where you were going next. Then maybe this isn't going to work out. You stopped yourself just short of putting the end in sight, not wanting to say something you didn't really believe and might regret later. Instead, you bit down on your tongue hard enough to draw blood. You blinked the tears away as you took one last look at Wednesday's stoic face and walked out, slamming the door to her dorm room behind you.

Wednesday watched you go with a bitter taste on her tongue — and not the kind she liked. You had had your arguments in the past, but you had never walked out on her. Unlike Wednesday, you were a stickler for talking things out right then and there, clearing the air before things got too ugly. But this time it had been too much. She had been too much.

Thing crawled onto the desk, having heard the entire argument. Wednesday turned sharply. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"I hope you're going to fix this."

"Why? Clearly they don't care enough to stay and have it out. Why should I be the one to piece things back together?"

Thing said nothing, but sat there in a way that said, Really?

Wednesday grit her teeth. "You're very passive aggressive for a hand."

"You're one to talk," Thing tapped back, "and ouch. Don't you think they might've needed some space?"

Wednesday paused. She hadn't thought of that, actually — not that she'd ever let Thing know that. "Fine then," Wednesday conceded. "What do you suggest?"

And, for once, Wednesday took someone else's advice.

She gave you the space you needed. For the next day and a half you received total radio silence from Wednesday. She still took her seat next to you in class, but she kept as far away from you as possible and didn't attempt conversation — not that Wednesday could ever endure small talk.

Eventually you were so unnerved by her behavior that you spoke to her, leaning over and keeping your voice to a whisper beneath Thornhill's lesson. "Wednesday? What are you doing? Are you alright?" you asked.

"I'm giving you space," she said, not meeting your eye. The words sounded unnatural in her voice. "Thing suggested it," she added quickly.

You sat back in your chair, a perplexed crease forming between your brows. This was very un-Wednesday like behavior. You weren't upset of course, just surprised. Not only at the fact that Wednesday was willingly giving you the space you needed, but that she actually took advice from Thing. It made your heart give a little flutter as you attempted to focus back on the lesson.

Wednesday never paced, but she had never been closer to doing it than she was that evening. She skipped dinner with the intention of writing her novel, but found herself staring at a blank page, unable to write a thing. Rain pounded the large stained glass window on the opposite side of the room. She had never suffered from writer's block before. This was excruciating, and not in a good way. She let out a slow breath, and finally something snapped. That's it.

She got up and strode to the door of her dorm with the intention of meeting you in the courtyard and demanding that you settle your argument from two nights ago, a crack of thunder scoring her sudden outburst. But just as she was about to reach for the doorknob, she heard a knock.

You stood out in the hallway, shivering and soaked with rain, your blazer wrapped tightly around you. The greeting you had prepared was quickly tossed away as you gave a sudden sneeze, a shiver running down your spine. You looked back at Wednesday and the words died on your tongue.

Instantly she pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you and getting one of Enid's fuzzy (revolting) blankets to wrap around your shoulders. Wednesday didn't often have these, God forbid, motherly urges very often, but again, a lot of things about Wednesday changed when she was around you. And the sight of you shaking in the cold on her doorstep was enough to thaw her frozen heart.

Once she was satisfied that you were slowly being warmed up, she stepped back, letting you dry the rain droplets from your cheeks and hair. Thing subtly crawled onto the desk and Wednesday saw it subtly sign out of the corner of her eye: "Talk."

Wednesday set her lips in a grim line. This was the part she always had trouble with. "Y/n —"

"I know you were just trying to protect me, Wednesday," you cut her off quickly. "I know that now, and I appreciate it. I didn't like what Leah was doing, and I know you didn't either, but I needed to try and figure out how to fix it in my own way first. I know that you want to look out for me, but I'm capable of fighting my own battles. I need you to tell me that you understand that."

Wednesday paused. And now she understood. This was what you had been trying to say the night of the argument — you just hadn't been able to get the words out right. Space. Space had allowed you to understand what you needed to say and what you needed to hear. Wednesday understood that now — and more importantly, she could respect it. "I understand," she said, "and I'm sorry."

You almost gasped. Wednesday rarely apologized for the things she did, especially to the people she did them to. But this was genuine.

She continued, "I don't regret what I did to Leah, but I do regret that it hurt you."

You nodded in understanding.

"I don't like seeing the people I love get hurt."

All at once you felt tears rushing to your eyes. Not the bad kind. You pushed them away with a hard swallow, sniffing. "I love you too, Wednesday," you said. "And I promise that if my way of fixing something doesn't work, you'll be the first person I call."

Wednesday felt a rush of something then, something that flushed in her cheeks and almost drew the corners of her lips up. She struggled to stifle it, but every glance at your rosy face made her that much more willing to surrender to it.

"Can I give you a hug?" you asked. You and Wednesday had reached a point where you could hug her without asking first, but you liked to get the clarification every once in a while.

Once you received a brisk nod, you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around her and enveloping both of you in Enid's thick purple blanket. Wednesday wrapped her arms around your waist, letting herself bury her head in your shoulder. She allowed herself to enjoy the warmth of being wrapped up with you, holding you tightly and knowing that you were together.

The storm continued to rage outside, but you two were warm and safe in the knowledge that, when you were together, there was nothing that couldn't be fixed.

[yoroshiu]

Sora: Expectations vs Reality (Coded vs KH1, CoM, and 3D)

Another Sora analysis because I can't help myself haha (help). But there's been a couple of posts that talked about this topic and it's really rewired my brain, so I also want to take a stab at it. I feel like this isn't something that's looked into/analyzed as much compared to other interpretations of KH's narrative, especially in terms of Sora, or at least I haven't seen it as much across platforms in a mainstream sense (though I do think it's been on the rise in recent times).

So if you're willing to bear with me, then get ready for another long post!

As the title indicates, and as mentioned, other people have brought up, Data-Sora creates an in-universe (and IRL) set of expectations for the actual Sora. While Coded is technically a rehash of KH1 and CoM's plot to an extent (hence its reputation besides its amazing gameplay), the point is to gather and present the stakes KH2, Days, and BBS introduced and set up what Sora's goals are going to be leading into 3D and 3.

The way it chooses to do so is to put a simulated Sora to the test, to see if he can "handle the hurt" and while he manages to do so, as many others have pointed out, Data-Sora's decision about remembering the pain to connect to others contradicts Sora's decision to forget at the end of CoM. Coded dictates that Sora can handle the pain of those within him and/or those who need to be saved. But 3D contradicts that as well. Many say that this indicates a potential point in Sora's development as a character and person, and while I agree, I want to focus on what has shaped him to this point in the first place. I must add, though, that Sora in 3, in terms of what he knows/is aware of by the end, understands a lot more than I've seen some people give him credit for, but this is another opinion in of itself.

Reading full-on long paragraphs might make this even harder to get through so I'll try to place some parts in bullet points (I get info-overloaded easily sometimes due to long paragraphs too ToT):

Coded, as said before, while initially having Data-Sora find/fix the missing/corrupted data in Jiminy's Journal (KH1 aspect), turns into a test to see if Sora can handle the "hurt" of the people he needs to save (CoM aspect).

Data-Sora proves he is willing to take on that "hurt" and can handle it. Which Sora by KH3/ReMind also manages to show.

But this neglects a few things about Sora's character before that point:

Data-Sora in the first part of Coded has guidance from Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Data-Riku especially D and G who have experienced their KH1 development and are currently ride-or-die for him. The KH1 experience ends up being different for him.

Even though he fights Data-Riku, it can be chalked up to the bugs/possession rather than anything malicious, which contrasts with real Riku before the Ansem possession.

Data-Sora losing his keyblade happened due to Maleficent rather than Riku. Rather than Goofy and Donald leaving him, he's the one that storms off and even then they go after him.

When we get to the CoM portion, Data-Sora doesn't have his memories of what happened in the first half, hence he goes straight to Castle Oblivion without the KH1 experience (also he's initially guided by Mickey, Data-Riku, and Data-Roxas)

In this case, it's a test of strength rather than what happened in CoM where Marluxia and Larxene hoped to break Sora to make him their puppet.

Data-Sora went to the KH1 worlds in each room and was made to forget right after getting through each one

But Sora had his memories from even before the first game actively messed with, while also being made to believe that it was the real Riku attacking him. All of that happened without much guidance from anyone.

What this shows is that while Data-Sora is the ideal outcome of Sora's development, I think as a narrative that presents trauma (intentionally and unintentionally), it emphasizes what the real Sora has been through. Theoretically, had things gone differently for Sora, and he had a proper support system on these journies, he would have been able to make the "right" choice. But he didn't have that. He had to figure a lot of things out and had to pull himself through. In a way, it feels unfair to some extent and it creates the expectations vs reality aspect.

And I believe this comes to fruition in 3D:

Organization XIII successfully overwhelms Sora, his heart ends up breaking under the emotional stress of all the people he's connected to as he's pulled into deeper sleep.

It especially sucks considering that the Mark of Mastery Exam was actively messed with in an outright attempt to break Sora (again).

His failure of the exam makes sense considering he couldn't overcome the Darkness in this real-world application like Riku, but it leaves such a bitter taste, right?

(The logistics of the exam can be argued ngl. Isn't it wild that all cases of the exam we've seen have had an external force get involved and have irrevocable damage on the test takers? Taking lives and souls fr.)

So what we get is a failure of those expectations (at least initially). Reality is much more harrowing and vicious. And that's such an interesting thing to do narratively, it feels purposeful. It establishes a depth to Sora that isn't fully seen and even adds to the concept of Data-Sora being his own existence by extension. By KH3, Sora's low self-esteem is directly shown to us and stems from the reality of his journey. He has a lot of unaddressed scars and while the characters view him as a beacon of hope out of love and respect, many of us acknowledge how harmful that's been to him in the most specific ways.

I really, really hope that the upcoming games build on this and address it, because it'd be so satisfying to see all of this acknowledged and explored! It would feel fitting for Sora to go to Unreality and face the reality of himself.

(I'm sorry if this was incoherent, I'm bad at collecting my thoughts on the spot...I'm open to corrections and additional thoughts!)

[verbenaa]

5, 6, 9, 10, 20, 25, 30 for the writer asks! (feel free to skip some of these if it's too many 😭)

ahhh thank you so much for sending these in my friend 🥹💖 I've been a little down the past week or two and this is the perfect way to get myself reaquainted with being back on the internet after a unexpected semi-break 😅 (answering from here!)

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP.

“I’ll stop saying it over and over again when you realize that I am right.”

I'll give you 3 guesses as to who says that line lmao

6. the word that appears the most in your current draft (wordcounter.net can tell you).

lmao it's Astarion 😂 very unsurprising I guess, considering this chapter is 60% his POV and the boy is having some serious introspection

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

Since I am currently working on chapter 9 of to eden I’ll do that, which has taken me a grand total of 8 weeks and 2 days to completion as I am finishing up last round of edits today so I can post either tonight or tomorrow 😅. A fast writer, I am not. HOWEVER I did also post two other fics in that 2 month period, which is a lot for me! Fingers crossed chapter 10 will take half the time that 9 did.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

Oooh definitely the last fic I posted which was technically started back in may or June and not posted until a few weeks back. technically it was only like a 600 word draft though, so not like a whole story. 

20. in what year did you publish your first fic? This very year!!!! I posted my first ever fic back on January 12th ❄️💝

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies? I arguably don’t have a ton of free time, which means that writing is kind of my only hobby. But recently when I have happened to have free time and am not writing I’ve been enjoying drawing again! procreate and I are still figuring our shit out, but we're getting there. I also watch Star Trek nightly with my husband, engage in excessive Pinterest activity, and have been playing a lot of love & deepspace in bed at night before i pass out

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of. The most recent one I posted, all my dreaming is put to shame. I never intended on it to reach the level of depth and emotion that it did and I’m pretty proud of that! I was also incredibly nervous about it as I wasn't really sure how it would resonate with readers, but it's turned out to be very well liked! I'm still responding to people's comments on it because everyone was so nice that I got a little flustered by all the praise (which is a good thing, everyone please fluster me more.) (Also proud of myself for channeling that same energy for chapter 9 of to eden so prepare yourself I guess 😌 haha)

[jasmyluv]

034. Labyrinth

(wc: 1.1k) warning that there is going to be big block paragraphs here!! | not proofread

“What are you doing here?” You asked the person at your front door.

“Heard you’re still sad, hm? Here,” Scaramouche said, giving you a single rose. Huh, it reminds you of Lantern Rite.

“Oh? You know you’re too late right, Scara? It’s not Valentine’s anymore,” you snicker at his timing. Could it not be more wrong?

“Just take it and move on. Can’t I just give you a rose?” He says, rolling his eyes while shoving the rose into your hands while you invite him inside.

“Well, friends don’t really give roses so casually. Anyway, yeah, I’m still a bit upset, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ll be fine,” you reassure his already doubting thoughts. But, then again, he was notorious for being stubborn. Your front door closed, putting the rose he gave you on the counter.

“Like you are. Hide under that facade all you want, I’ll just keep breaking it,” damn, he always knew what made you blush.

“Fuck off, Raiden,” truth be told, you are still going to be annoyed by his antics. 

“No,” you sigh. You’ve accepted a long time ago that he’s still the person who was making fun of you because you wore your sweater backwards once when you were in 6th grade.

“So, why are you here?” You ask him. You didn’t ask him to come, nor did he announce anything prior. Now that you think of it, you weren’t even wearing something decent. Just an oversized sweater and shorts. God, damn it.

“You’re upset, right? Talk about it to me, maybe it can help you feel better,” he suggests.

“Really? Alright. Well, my mom still isn’t paying for my tuition, so Childe’s still paying. I’m thankful to have someone like him in my life. And my dad… We’re not really close, but we’re not strangers. He knows stuff about me, he knows what’s happening in my life, and I know what happens in his. I can’t really read him though, it’s like he always has a poker face, like he doesn’t care. Not like I do as well, we don’t talk a whole lot." You describe your relationship with your dad. It was also the first time he's heard anything about you and your dad.

"I think you know the rest, my mom still looks down on me, why I’m not always top one, why I wasn’t the person who got the highest marks, stuff like that. Uh, my studies are good, I think. I still have research to do, you know. Uhm, I don’t really know what to feel about my situation with my parents, but what kind of 18 year old girl would? Haha. It’s not like they did it as a joke, they were always one to be sure of their decisions. And… Uh…” 

“You don’t have to tell me about him if you can’t. I’m just here to see if you’re okay.” It was obvious to him that you were on the verge of tears, he didn’t want to see you cry any longer.

“No, it’s fine. I think it’s going to help me.” You tell him.

“Alright, just tell me if you don’t want to tell me anything else, okay?”

“Okay. Uhm, I guess I was hurt when you left without warning. I was wondering why you were absent in class one day then Ayaka told me you moved to Snezhnaya. She knew you’re important to me, so of course, she told me. I was distracted because of you that I got my first failing grade, heh. I almost didn’t show my parents but a part of me thought they would feel bad for me, especially because they knew we were close." You say as if there was hope they could feel empathy for their daughter.

"But, all I got was lecture after lecture, telling me that no one should be in the way of my studies, of my “dreams”. It wasn’t even my dreams, it was theirs. It was their dream to make me the most perfect daughter in the world, that I’d be a doctor, a surgeon, or a lawyer. They didn’t care what I wanted for my life. They were blinded by the concept of me being what they were; a Judge and the head of some department in the hospital. Like I want to spend my life studying. Can’t I just escape their unrealistic expectations? Their unbelievable dreams they want me to achieve? I can’t take it." You wanted to cry when they made it clear they would stop at nothing to make you the highest achieving person in the world. God, how could they be so ruthless?

"They’ve made it clear that I was going to be someone who would change the world, but I was only six years old. They set their stupid, sky-high thoughts on a girl who barely even started elementary. "Anything less than the best is nothing but filth on the ground." That was their motto, something I could 'live' by. All I've done is survive." Your voice cracks, you wanted to hide from the world, it's fucked up that they made you like this, paranoid, always thinking "what are they going to say?" or " what are they going to do to me?" Your mind was occupied, you didn't see how he was already there beside you, wiping off the stray tears that flowed down your face.

"It's funny too. When we were still kids..., you were the sole person I came to when I had problems or when I had something to tell you, someone I hated because you didn't even tell me goodbye. I didn't want to see or think of you. I didn't want to think about how you weren't by my side anymore, never to be there again. That's what I thought, then you showed up, beside Ajax, on the campus I studied at, in the area we grew up with. I was shocked because you had the fucking audacity to show up after years. I hated you more, but all you did was make me like you all over again. Hah, and I thought I finally moved on.” 

“Sh, It’s alright, [Name]. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I left so abruptly. Please, stop crying.” He said rubbing your back while hugging you in an attempt to make you calm down. 

“Here, drink water.” He gave you a glass of water from your kitchen counter. 

“Thanks…” You drink the beverage, wiping your eyes. It was embarrassing he had to see you like this, you’re dressed in something indecent and crying in front of him. That’s nice.

“Look, [Name]. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. The decision of moving to Snezhnaya was not mine, it was Ei’s choice, I just followed her because I was still a child. I was opposed to moving there, but I had no other option. I had no time to say goodbye, no time to explain how I wanted to stay here, with you.”

What?

previous :: MASTERLIST :: next

Of All People… - scaramouche x fem!reader smau

SYNOPSIS When you, a student who finds her best friend admits the terrors of high school. A best friend who’ve you’d hated ever since he left. Of all people, why was he the one to make you swoon, a person you swore to hate?

Fun facts!

Felt

[Name]'s dad is like that person who cares nothing more than his work

I hate the transition from the casual talk to serious ugh

It was a purple rose :)

Taglist;

@viridescent-ivy @sakiimeo @ttoshiiroz @lxry-chxn @stopandget-help @r0ttenhearts @h-8chi @thenightsflower @killuixz @linn-a-a @vodkistt @raideneiari @yuyan @layla240 @barbatosfavouritenun @plinkuro @taikabae @beriiov @ghostxrism @rifran @elakari @kairxse @belovedxiao @alwaysmentallyill @mellowknightcolorfarm @xingyunclouds @scooofyaei @nambii @scaraapologist @samyayaya @kunikuzushisbeloved @dee-zbignuts @kaekazuha04 @monochromaticelliot @erosdevil @wisteriarain @kaoyamamegami @dazaiswifenicole @phoenix-eclipses @vivinsoul @vuvulia @r4yyyyy @cinnamontimecrunch @whatamidoing89 @aludicpoet @cindywasneverhere @vvasant @st0pthatsgay @kxr0mi @divinechicha @sketcheeee @wonderful-worlds

Author's note:

I deeply apologize for the big block text huhu :((((

[elekinetic]

user elekinetic do you have any tips to spare for outlining fics 😭 i feel like I word vomit any of the concept that I have in my head, and dialogue ,and build off that adding paragraphs as I go and I go so slow bc of it. But ive been trying hard lately to write a list of “scenes” and bullet point the story but yeah.

do you know anything that could help me have an idea of where to go start to finish instead of starting at the random spot I’ve come up with first? I waste so much writing time because I haven’t built a backstory for characters and things like that so i don’t always know how they start the story off, only the situation they’re in. Is that something that could help? Making a list for each character or something? Would love to hear your thoughts thank you! <3

hi! first of all i’m so flattered you asked! to be clear, i am a very slow writer too lmao and i’m relatively new to prose writing, and though in very confident in my understanding of what makes a good story (W screenwriting), i am still figuring out my outlining process. but hey! let’s learn together.

sorry in advance for how long this is. i love talking.

so i basically figure everything out in the outline and write after i feel very good about it. if you have a strong foundation, everything gets a hell of a lot easier. t kind of sounds like your process might be similar to mine, so i’m just gonna explain what i'm doing for my current project.

my key document is my “bible.” i split it up into a couple different sections using page breaks (page breaks my best friend ily page breaks):

pitch/word vomit summary

scene ideas

outline

notes

ok so wtf does that mean.

1. pitch/word vomit summary — explain your concept. bc i've got a film/tv background, im starting off with my logline. (e.g. "after robin learns will is gay, they have a heart to heart in an abandoned video store about insecurity and feeling alone. they learn they're not." sometimes i'll follow that up with a note to myself like, "this fic isn't robin finding out, this is what happens after. starts with her already knowing. will pov, focus on his perception of robin changing. subtly reference toward feelings about mike, dont come out (haha) and say it") then, i write as MUCH of the concept down as i can, like i'm explaining it to a friend. (sometimes i copy and paste rants from dms directly into the document). it can be totally out of order, non-sensical, contradictory. just get as many of your ideas down as possible. you want to be able to come back to this and be like, oh i totally forgot about that. vague chapter summaries, personal notes about themes, whatever you want. i have a list of beats that you find in romantic dramas for inspiration and a paragraph abt ways i want to parallel/subvert s3 of st. just. go ham. 2. scene ideas — this is pretty self explanatory. i take some of the stuff i have in the p/s and flesh it out, or put down new ideas. this is where i'm writing out dialogue in bullet points, or what i want them to be Really Saying. (e.g. "mike: [panics bc he feels seen, tries to flip it back on (redacted) and fails] ") this is for when i can see stuff more clearly or i get out of the shower with a whole exchange in my head. gonna be out of order, a little all over the place. 3. outline — so. this is where you start piecing it together. put the bullet points in order. figure out objective of each scene and what needs to happen to accomplish that goal. figure out pacing, what needs to happen when. this step is where im looking at dialogue and thinking "why does mike say that? why does he feel that way? what needs to happen to get him to this point emotionally?" or looking at scenes and thinking "these are two scenes with people arguing back to back. lets make sure they feel different and give the characters different tactics to get what they want (byler argument where mike is avoiding will vs max argument where max is avoiding lucas. i could use this to highlight similarities and differences in the relationships, but having two scenes with the same tactics back to back might feel repetitive. maybe i move the scenes farther apart or change circumstances. maybe mike and will are having a veiled argument while theyre with a group of friends in a public space and max and lucas' argument is outside max's house.) also asking if conflicts are resolved too quickly, if the miscommunications feel too convenient, if characters disappear or are only around as plot devices. write. troubleshoot. repeat. 4. random notes — everything else that doesnt fit. for me this is literally just taylor swift lyrics (writing the fic vaguely off of a Specific Song that SHOULD BE STREAMED MORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE anyway) and links to posts i use as character reference to make sure im staying true to the characters. (remembering will said "i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it," AND "you're ruining everything, and for what!"/"i wasn't moping!")

i want it to be clear im doing all of this at the same time. im jumping around and pulling new ideas and rearranging as stuff changes. i think the thing that's really hard is that i want to be able to sit down, write the outline, and then move on. but for us scatterbrained writers, you're gonna have to re-outline and readjust like. a thousand times. and that's okay. that's good! it feels tedious as hell but the story is so much better for it.

take your time. let yourself be slow. keep finding holes in your story and fill the world in as you fix them.

here are some more questions i ask myself to make the story better:

What are you trying to accomplish over the course of the story? What is it about? (for the will&robin fic, it was something about feeling seen for the first time.) When you get lost in your story or aren't sure why a scene feels stale, come back to this. is the scene furthering that goal?

What is changing internally for each of your main characters? (yes theyre dating by the end but like. what do they learn.)

Are the side characters people or props? (will pov scene of a party-wide picnic where everyone's talking but will is focused on mike's hands.... where is max's head at in the scene? you don't have to have a super long backstory and she doesn't have to be a big part of the plot, but if she's saying something, figure out why she's saying it. if will is having a heart to heart with el, understand why el is responding the way she is. the scene's goal may be to get will through a breakthrough, but el's circumstances will change in the scene too. figure out how this conversation lands with her. oh, and remember the adults are people too!)

Why is this character saying this/why are they responding this way? (this should answer your "where do i start?" question. start in that random spot and figure out A) why they are there and B) why they are reacting the way they do (see last bullet point).

side note: some of the best advice i ever got was "enter the scene late, exit early." skip the prologue. try starting from that random spot. if it feels like something's missing, figure out exactly what that something is, and go from there

Do the stakes feel high enough?

What do i need to set up to make sure this scene/beat is satisfying as possible? (are will and mike going to have a big argument? oh, so we have to show tension before.... BAM you have another scene to write and your outline is fuller)

i could go on a lot longer but. basically.

i edit while i write. i'm someone who needs a very fucking strong outline and a very fucking clear idea of the story before i can start writing it. i'm putting probably 70-80% of the leg work in at the start so i can focus on making the prose (or script, most of the time) the best it can be.

THAT BEING SAID, this is just the way i do it and i have like. a fic and a half published. im taking my sweet time bc im creatively burned out and this is for fun first and foremost. like i said. i am a Very Slow Writer.

i highly, highly recommend hitting up the ask boxes of writers like @/strangeswift, @/wiseatom, @/astrobei, or @/andiwriteordie. no guarantees on responses bc they are busy ppl with busy lives but i really do think theyre some of the best writers out here right now, and im not just saying that bc they're my friends. abby (strangeswift) and i have been each other's sounding board through a lot of projects and she's almost done with one of her first Big Fics, so its worth asking her about that.

i hope this helps! ah!!

[horserad-ish]

rules: bold what is true for you and tag 15 people

tagged by @doodledrawreblogs and @sluttyhenley, thank you so much for the tags guys!!!

APPEARANCE

i'm over 5'5' // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear makeup // i don't often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

*now edited to include the last paragraph

no pressure tags (idk 15 people though haha) @valmare @itsgoghtime @gothidecorem @mongoosesthings @agentfaust @mavnix @thethistlegirl

[queen-tashie]

Fun Line Tag

Tagged by @mrbexwrites, you asked for the dance party excerpt from SAS a little while back so here you go!

Rules: Post a line that you’re tremendously pleased by and a line that’s just out-of-context ridiculous.

Tagging: @ftmerriweather, @isabellebissonrouthier, @roselinbooks-archive, and an open tag as always!

From SAS, a first draft line I'm proud of:

"That's the other reason I called you all here. First, to talk me out of this fucking career suicide, and second because I need a unanimous agreement that we go rogue after this. I'm not losing my fucking ship again for trying to do what's best for humanity, or the survivors of Tau Ceti, I'm—"

Out of Context line paragraphs from SAS, the dance-off scene XD (so sorry it's more tell than show, this is a first draft and I'm a chronic underwriter, after all haha):

She won her first and second dance battle, and she was having the night of her life. Mr. Beats brought a whole level of celebration to the party that she wished she had had when everyone was bored out of their mind mining lithium. The semi finals were beginning, and she was up against Amanda from medical. She didn't seem too challenging until she pulled out some breakdance moves. Natalia countered with an even more impressive break dance, and she was in the finals. The entire party was watching them. Natalia was out of break dance moves though, she really should've thought twice about attempting that in her mid thirties. But Kamalpreet was in their forties, and surely couldn't move like she and Amanda just had. But Kamalpreet surprised her. They could move, unbelievably well for their age. She had to give it a shot.

[tearitar]

fic writer meme, for forfeit: 14, 17, 25 - and 7 for both blind offering & discount offering!

14. Talk about the fic’s opening scene & how you approached it

Haha, while I don't think I'm particularly good at writing opening scenes, I'm not exactly scared of it. I usually feel like I'm kicking a door in with my opening sentences. Hence, I immediately write "Drifter spends the night on Shin's ship." Extremely straight to the point. Then I go on about how HUH THAT'S WEIRD, AIN'T IT? Truly some classic exposition intro paragraph shit.

17. Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

god, thanks for following up with this from the first question. Because, like, so while I'm not scared of writing intros, I am often at my wit's end with endings, lol. With forfeit, I knew I wanted it to be a mutual break up fic, and Shim understanding the hows and whys of it. And I'm always thinking about how guardians are immortal and how it affects romantic relationships (falling outs/changing feelings), and both Shin and Drifter have lived for hundreds of years. These are guys that know how to break up, I bet, LMAO.

(Also I read your old comment on it and you've hit the nail on the head. It's less about yearning, more about knowing how things are. Again, with the immortality and just understanding that people can phase in and out of each others' lives.)

25. Share your favorite line

I have two:

Shin’s existence has only ever revolved around Palamon, Dwindler’s Ridge, and a circling ship made of bones. Drifter’s stretches beyond universes, tied to more than anyone knows. All the legends and secrets of the Renegade Hunter can’t compare.

and

Shin’s long stopped believing in things like Chosen Ones, but he’s always had a weakness for romanticism. It puts him in a complicated spot. He looks at Drifter and thinks — harbinger.

Brother, when it comes to Destiny, I fucking love writing lines about destiny(!!) and fate and cosmic forces. I go nuts. I love the combination of sci-fi and the implication of higher, uncontrollable forces. The contrast!!! And when it comes to Shin's POV, I treat it like it's an incredibly horny thing. And it is. To me. And speaking on contrasts, I think those two lines are pretty much the thesis of why I think Shin is in love with Drifter, or at least the idea of him, as a person and working clog in the universe. I bet shin likes to feel small sometimes, LOL.

25. How did you decide what character(s) would narrate the fic?

BASIA I'M PRETTY SURE WITH THE COMBO OF BOTH FICS YOU KNOW I DON'T ACTUALLY DECIDE ON WHICH POV TO WRITE FROM I SIMPLY WRITE TWO DIFFERENT FICS OF THE SAME PREMISE.

On a more serious note, I choose which POV gives me the most drama and fun. Though usually when I come up with a fic I have a line in my mind with a specific perspective it's from. For BO, I really wanted Drifter's POV on seeing Shin be seduced by a hologram. and also Shin being covered with fake drifter gore. For DO, it was obvious I wanted to do something from Shin's POV on the matter, haha.

[chocosvt]

hi choco! i'm so excited to see you back on my tl; i've missed you and your god-tier fics & i'm super duper excited to read your wonwoo fic as well (140k words? we will all be well fed fr 🤲)

i had a little rant? not exactly rant but something that's been itching my mind a bit haha, i hope you don't mind me sharing it with you! i genuinely want some advice over this.

as a long fic writer, how do you consistently come back to writing your fic without getting bored? i looooove writing long fics too (big lover of slowburn and angst lol) but i always get so impatient and bored of writing the story so quickly :(

i'd posted a teaser for a fic a while back and it got a good amount of traction (something i will always be grateful for) and someone asked me when i would release the full fic, to which i gave them a tentative date. fast forward to the day before the day i said i would post the fic and you have me typing out paragraphs upon paragraphs of stuff that i absolutely loathe in my writing. i ended up posting the fic anyway, but it's been only a day and i already want to take it down—not bc it's not getting any attention, because it is, but more so bc i hate that fic and would do anything to rewrite it.

iirc your joshua fic, 'best friend's brother' was a rewrite of a fic you'd written earlier, right? was your thought process similar to this? where did you start your rewriting process from? did you have any second thoughts when you took it down the first time?

i'm really sorry if this is too many questions 😅 please take your time if you do choose to answer this! much love and have a great day, choco!!! thank you so much :)

(is it alright if i use an emoji to sign off so i can find this ask later?)

— 🍫

first of all, THANK U SO MUCH <3

and i don't mind at all! these are rly insightful questions :o though i'll just chunk my answers a bit so i'm not all over the place.

not getting bored to be honest, i'm not sure if i ever "get bored" of writing out the plot. but i definitely get burnt out, and sometimes i get downright sick of reviewing my own writing, to the point where i just have to close my laptop and walk away. i think the most important & overarching piece of advice i can give--not just in terms of long fics but any fic for that matter--is to never force anything & take breaks!

when i'm busy at uni, there are like 5 month breaks where i don't bother writing at all. i always think that the second i have free time, i should theoretically want to write, but sometimes i just don't. and i make peace with it bc i know the second i force anything i will end up hating it (also takes the fun & enjoyment out of the process).

i think if you're getting bored, it's probably a sign that your body & mind just isn't interested in writing at the moment. so i would step away & take a break and attempt to get your mind off the plot. i think that taking a break also invigorates your mind a bit and gives you newer, better ideas (at least from my experience).

bfb rewrite the reason i rewrote best friend's brother was bc the og fic was from 2016, when my writing style was completely different. i still liked the concept but naturally, as my writing grew, i just detested the way the old ver was written, which spurred me to create the rewrite.

i wanted to give the characters a lot more depth & beef up the plot, so the new fic is actually a lot different in comparison to the old one. i wasn't attempting to do a scene-for-scene rewrite--it was simply just my approach to an old concept that i felt i could now execute better.

as to how i went abt rewriting it, i just picked out moments from the old fic that i liked and built around them. for instance, i rly liked the "skipping stones" scene that shows some intimacy & tenderness between joshua and reader. but it can't just happen out the gate. so i had to figure out the typical "why, when, and how is this moment happening right now?" from scratch.

the thing with long fics for me, it honestly is a test of patience & dedication!! bc it can truly be so frustrating :( a lot of times, you want to jump right into the good parts bc those are like the shiny glimmers that make the fic attractive. but depending on how impactful you want those moments to be, build-up is sooooo key! the thing is, build-up is just so critical in my opinion, but it can also be such a pain to write :p

i find when i review my writing, these are scenes i criticize or change the most--more than the big, hard-hitting scenes. bc to me, it's such a specific thing that you have to nail down justttt right. it's a lot of thinking and finagling and i think this process is what i dread the most? especially when it refuses to turn out how you want it--ugh, so discouraging!! but once you get it's like a silky flowy river!!

the big takeaways (i guess?) 1. taking breaks is so important! 2. don't force anything xxxx 3. take the big moments & build around them i totallyyyyy understand your frustration!! there have been so many moments where i'm like I NEED TO WRITE AHHHHH and then i promptly open the document only to sit there, blankly read a few sentences, and then get this rly big sinking feeling in my gut that is essentially telling me "never mind" and honestly i just listen to it bc if i'm gonna close & open the document 10 times in a row i obviously don't want to write. i'm just searching for something fulfilling and clearly not finding it in the task at hand so i should do smth else.

THIS IS EXTREMELY LENGTHY AND I''M BEYOND SORRY, but i hope somewhere amongst this mumbo jumbo there was something that stood out & may give you a bit of closure!