#not fully happy with it but what the fuck ever yknow

[dailydegurechaff]

Today's Daily Degurechaff is… experiencing remorse

[tu-es-gegg]

I think I'm crazy but like my favourite part of slimeriana that I don't hear much of is their intense loyalty to each other

Like I feel some people underestimate how they are very close and always come as a pair because they both are obsessed with each other, they never want to choose anyone else that isn't the other misclicker

In that sense of, yknow when you hate someone so much they live rent free in your head, yeah it's that with them, and they will always seem to gravitate to each other in any circumstances

In the early days before the first death they only stayed together because of Juanaflippa, they both ceased any sort of conflict if it made Juana upset (in spite of their collective attention span, seriously)

and they could've moved apart after that and push each other away, but no

Funeral stream, they both were by each others side and grieved together. They were petty and jealous torgtehr, even without a reason to. Because it had to be them together

They always joked about divorcing and argued ofver miniscule things and in the end, they are each others safety spots, they like it better when they make each other crazy

And the absence of another half already had a toll on slime, nobody who could really understand him in his eyes like Mariana, it took him so long to find somewhat of a safety net, a safe place where he could be happy because his one safe thing, his family, was gone

Wedding stream, slime talking with foolish and he says nothing sets his heart ablaze anymore, no one is able to love the same way he does or spark the same intensity as Mariana did to him

So he had to have courage and find it in friends by himself, which already took fuckign forever and even then, he doesn't really have anyone as close to him that he can fully confide with or that he mentions OVER AND OVER as much as Mariana (compare that with how easy fit moved on from spreen, the pinnacle divorcees) slime could easily say 'i don't love him anymore' but no, he can't say that because love is in just simply being so obsessed

And Mariana is the same, no matter what he never considers anyone else to be his husband, he can complain over and over about slime and poke as many flirty jokes to others but at the end of the day, when he meets new people on the qsmp he says he is married with slime, and he is never ashamed of that fact, in fact he's the one actively trying NOT to let divorce happen when it gets brought up because he does want to stay with slime, he's just as head over heels obsessed

If the missclick divorce is ever actually real, you know that shits gone ABSOLUTELY wrong, cause really could that ever happen under normal circumstances

Cause are they a healthy couple? Fuck knows, they dorve each other crazy to the point they turn the clock around back to sane for each other that, if you pair them with anyone else they will just make it worse

Are they one of the strongest couples that never waivers in their loyalty to each other? No matter what it will always be those two even if apart? Yes

[unloneliest]

im so fucking good at making sexy little leverage aus and then never writing them. this is my ma spencer au, which has been lifted directly from my twitter with minimal editing, & which i am haunted by always.

ok so the au. this is going to be very long. every time i listen to spent gladiator 2 by tmg i think abt the leverage team/eliot specifically.

lyrics for context:

so i was thinking abt an au where eliot was never on the team, bc like. eliot fully got Out of the game, but interacts w them on an early case and ends up falling in with them anyways? BUT i also think a lot about how hard it'd be for any of them to retire bc there's people who hate them who know their faces, yknow? so how WOULD eliot be able to have retired &what has to change for eliot to be that comfortable getting out?

so i figure he maybe got out of the moreau situation earlier. maybe he broke up with the horse girl but they stayed on good terms, and maybe he never did the worst things he ever did for moreau because he had his Getting Out Of There chef connection moment sooner.

but that doesn't undo how recognizable eliot would be to various parties and i was like. well then. what if the chef who was that pivotal person for eliot was a trans woman and was as pivotal with eliot being gendery as she was with eliot retiring?

so like. early 2000s nonbinary/transfeminine he/she eliot spencer finding a few small towns to live in pretty at random but having a home in each one and cycling through them with no discernable pattern?? and being a loved part of the local queer community in all of them?

it's similar to my "eliot never left home and is luke gilmore girls but also co-created a queer bar in his town" au (aside: thank you @lycanqueer for pointing out that connection ages ago, i have been unwell about it ever since).

like . eliot!!!!! eliot probably first connecting with the team bc of the two horse job and slowly begrudgingly helping, joining in on the tap out job, etc.

eliot being like a parent figure to various queer kids in the different towns and they call him "ma spencer" and she wears his practical boots with flannels still but maybe they're with a more feminine tank top and maybe you're as likely to see ma spencer in a no nonsense knee length skirt as a sturdy pair of jeans. and maybe sometimes he braids her hair . and she's mr. spencer too and well respected by the folks of whatever town he's staying in, too stubborn and helpful and intimidating not to be!

eliot being openly down for a casual relationship both with parker and hardison from when she first gets to know them onward—and him keeping his past quiet still, but it getting harder to keep the parts of her life seperate as he finds herself getting closer with the team & with more serious feelings for parker and hardison.

maybe the team's hitter is Tara? i feel like she's capable of that? but she has to be the grifter when sophie goes on her break and eliot joins in "Just Once" but it ends up being more than that.

eliot would have a lot of complicated feelings abt joining in—like, both being happy with the peace she found & not wanting to risk that but still feeling like he needs to pay penance and that this is a way to do that.

and then season 3 hits completely different. i think this eliot would talk about his past once she found out they were targeting moreau, but i think team dynamics would overall be super different in general. the team would be way less of a unit with nate than when you see things from his perspective—espeicially without eliot always there to insulate the team from the worst of him.

anyways im gonna be thinking about this for the next 800 years. will i ever write this fic? probably no. but ma spencer is so real to me

[hemlockalope]

ok ok im curious. sunday wanderer comparison?? that sounds cool. free pass to talk abt it if you want :O

Hi hi yes!! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about them!! Also spoilers for 2.2 Penacony quest and Genshin's Wanderer quest

Also under cut because it ended up a little long-

To start i want to say that while im comparing them their stories definitely aren’t one to one, i just love thinking about Wanderer’s story in every occasion since i’ve obsessed over him for too long(and sunday is quickly joining him in my obsessions) But basically the main thing is how they both tried sacrificing themselves to godhood for completely different reasons and both failed, falling (Sunday was caught, Scaramouche was not)

Yes, both were sacrifices Sundays is a obvious one as Robin was supposed to be the sacrifice but Sunday did it instead of her, not letting his sister get hurt on beliefs she doesn’t even believe in(The Dreammaster always knew he would be the one to be sacrificed anyways) His sacrifice was selfless, he would go through eternal loneliness if it means everybody else could be happy

Meanwhile Scaramouche was sacrificing himself for selfish reasons He wants to achieve godhood because he isn’t human, and while it isn’t explicitly said(i think?) i very much believe he was trying to one up Raiden Ei in becoming a god(If you play as Ei and die in his boss fight he mocks her) But it’s still a sacrifice of his body, as they explained in the quest that if the sages completed their quest in getting the wisdom capsules into Scaramouche’s god form he would no longer be able to move for himself, he would fully become a puppet god for the grand sage

I just couldn’t stop thinking about how both of them tried ascending to godhood for completely different reasons yet both failed and yknow, both almost did it if it wasn’t for a factor they didn’t account for (Nahida’s Samsara abilities and Acheron and Black Swan waking trailblazer up plus Robin waking herself up)

Also!!! comparing Gopher Wood to Dottore Dottore obvs was not a father to Scara AT ALL but he was indeed extremely manipulative (Before Sumeru came out i questioned if Scaramouche ever saw Dottore as a father figure or not, and with Wanderer we know now that he hates him and even when he was Scaramouche he never liked him but working with him was a necessity) But also did Sunday even ever see Gopher Wood as a father figure? we know he took Sunday and Robin in, but the two never calls Gopher “father” or anything from what i remember Also the fact Sunday’s second suspect for Robin’s murderer to be Gopher Wood??? how fucked up is that???

The main thing i think a lot about is the selfish vs selfless sacrificed they did, also the fact that people think Sunday will get a redesign before he releases and he's gonna be released a lot later then when he first showed up plus going from a villain to companion is all things Wanderer went through After realizing all that I jokingly thought why not just let him change his name too, and while it started as a crack theory i kinda just kept thinking about it I saw someone say that Sunday isn't his actual name? I haven't seen any in game evidence though, but maybe Sunday is the name he chose for the family, or maybe he didn't even choose it maybe Gopher Wood did, and after everything that happened in the final he doesn't want to continue going by that name, nor does he want to go back to his old name, so he chooses to use a new one and I can't stop thinking of how Robin probably doesn't like the name Sunday, the family being the one giving it to him, so instead she just called him brother because she knows he doesn't go by his old name anymore either and after Sunday's fall, she talks to him about it. Asking if he's still okay with the name, and when he doesn't respond she hugs him and reassures him he'll always be her brother no matter what

The last bit just ended up me talking about a crack theory/ headcanon lol sorry this just ended up me rambling! Hopefully i covered everythign i wanted? I've been thinking about this for the past few days without writing anything down and I also have awful memory, and with that I'm sorry if I forgot something or remembered a scene wrong!!

[inkyquince]

kiss! excited for you about the tattoo!

also you should talk about your hyperfixation actually 👀 (if you'd like akahakna)

okay so tattoo under cut and then shall be deleted cuz ew thats me, but im so happy with it and its healing really well. kissing ur head @pip-n-chips (sidenote, the void stares back is my handle on discord and i fuckin pissed myself in surrpise)

But who cares because hyperfixation teehee. i got another ask like this so im splitting my bEEG ideas and leaving one out because im fully on page 3 of writing young bruce wayne fuck boy anyway.

for you? for my pip pip cheerio?

BAD brain rot about Red Hood. Of course, mans is hot and depressed, he's my favourite emo boy.

cw. noncon turned dubcon. pseudo-incest but jason and reader aren't blood related. dacryphilia, mentions of blood, tho its ambiguous. VERY DARK AND NARSTY JASON TODD. Usual batfamily depression. Also, yknow, references to Death In The Family.

But as per usual I have to think my little awful thoughts. Where Jason is fully still in his revenge phase, but it warps. Bruce has let him down repeatedly before it hits him that he's let all of othem down repeatedly. Except for one. You, the bloodspare to Damien, the bloodheir, who never was a Robin, never spread your wings. Stayed home, stayed safe and stayed the softest spot in Batman's side. The one person who'd never leave because you didn't set yourself up for that. Even though you were older than Damien by quite a bit, you had seen every single iteration of Robin come and go, they all knew that Damien stood to inherit the mantle, which was what Bruce truly cared about. But you laughed at the jokes about Damien usurping your role as sole inheritor. And you loved your little brother. And you were loved. As the playboy's sweetest kid, by all of his brothers.

When he was Jason Todd, the boy wonder, the Robin, he loved you. But he wasn't that anymore. And he wanted to hurt the man that left him for dead, by hurting the one person his father could see nothing but goodness in, the one he thought of when he stuck by his moral codes even at the death of his sons. He was Red Hood now. He had blood on his hands.

And fuck, he still loved you.

He loved you as a boy, and as a man, his love took on a salty tinge. Sweat on his tongue, as he dragged it up the back of your neck, to your ear as you squirmed inbetween his forearms, pressed against the floor on your belly. Sweet, simple you. Who'd have gone anywhere for him, with one text. And now, you're here, with his cock sheathed fully into your hole, his mask tilted so that his mouth was exposed. Just so he could bite. And lick. And taste. Despite the saltiness, your tears tasted sweet. You whined for your brother to stop, your cheek pressed against the cold concrete floor, and Jason wondered if you knew that this was close to the place he died, wondered if Bruce told you, wondered if he could ever tell you that he was hurting Batman, hurting Bruce, not you.

So he tucks his fingers into your mouth, letting you taste the metal and blood of his digits, and continues to ruin your virgin hole, spreading you more than your sweet hand ever could before.

Worst of all, the part of him that should feel guilty... Doesn't. At least not after you cum all over yourself and the floor, thighs shaking with his own legs spreading them. Got a front row seat to the most beautiful show on earth and the sounds you made? Slipping from begging your brother, to stop, to slow down, to ease up, to whining and groaning. Then weakly grinding against him, stuffing yourself with the rest of his cock. Whispering for Jason, for Red Hood, to continue, to not stop.

He'd take it all. Your virginity, your first kiss, all the work that Bruce had put in to keep you safe, to keep you isolated from the world until it was safe, but he failed. He failed Jason and now he failed you. No signal would draw him near to save either of his children from what was happening, and wouldn't stop the two of you desperately rutting against each other, Red Hood holding you down by your throat just so you wouldn't be able to wriggle away when he finally cum inside of you.

AnyWAY, tattoo under cut, love u pippy.

:P too late, but it's cool tho

[cyncerity]

I am becoming a utter bitch for Jackmanifold so I was curious if he is in your Epic au and if so tell me about him

Hi hi hi!! I know this ask was sent like a year ago but uh in case you’re still curious, he’s basically Tommy’s nanny! Phil got tired of Tommy running off so he’s been hiring people to try and keep an eye on him (keyword: try)

Anyway Jack is my comfort streamer so I always want to include him in stuff, so I wanted to write a short little thing to show his dynamic with Tommy and Niki. This “short little thing” turned into a full story and character designs because I have no self control! Hope you enjoy!!

(btw anyone who can pick out the song quote in here and tell me what it’s from gets a cookie)

“Hold on, get back here!” Jack yelled running after the young prince, who stopped his sprint down a hallway to turn and look back at Jack with a disapproving stare. Jack stopped and took a few deep breaths from exhaustion before continuing through pants. “I promised his majesty that I wouldn’t let you out of my sight, and I intend to keep that promise. The last thing I want is the fuckin king mad at me…again.” Tommy simply rolled his eyes, hands on his hips as he took a few steps towards the older leafmen. “Ooo King Philza this, King Philza that,” Tommy said in a mocking tone. “Let’s be honest with ourselves here Jack, if Phil hasn’t fired you yet he’s not gonna. The last guy got kicked after losing me like 4 times and you’re already way past that. The only reason you still have a job is cause you’ve got connections in high places.” “Is not!” “Is too!”

“God you’re so immature,” Jack said, having finally fully caught his breath. “Maybe if you could actually be responsible and not fuckin disappear every day then the king wouldn’t need to assign you a-“ “Babysitter. You’re a babysitter.” Tommy cut him off, only angering Jack further. “You’re such a fucking child! Why can’t we have one normal conversation about you disappearing under my watch, it’s like you want me to get exiled or something!” “Oh my dad’s not gonna exile you,” Tommy responds nonchalantly, “Niki likes you too much for that.” “There are only so many times you can lose the crown prince before his dad will get fed up. Niki isn’t more powerful than the fucking king, Tommy.” “No, but she’s one of his best soldiers, which means her and her happiness is important to him, and for some unexplainable reason you’re part of that happiness. Phil isn’t gonna risk losing his General cause he dismissed her best friend like he dismissed the rest of the fucks he hired to watch me.”

That made Jack pause. He knows Phil; they’ve had plenty of talks personally (well, personally with Schlatt in the room too, as if Jack would ever pull something with the ruler of the whole goddamn forest). In all the talks he’s had with Phil, he’d never guess that anyone’s personal happiness was important to him. The kingdom’s happiness? Sure, of course, that was his fucking job, after all. But, personally? Jack just always assumed that Phil was kind of a cold guy. To hear that he valued Niki’s happiness personally, even for his own gain, was…an odd thought. “Phil cares about Niki?” Jack asked, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Tommy seemed just as confused, before shrugging it off. “Yeah, ‘course he does. She and Schlatt are, yknow, his friends.” That genuinely shocked Jack. “There’s something in that guy to befriend??” He questioned, though as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted it. Tommy’s face wore absolute shock, and Jack quickly slapped a hand over his mouth as they both stared at each other in silence.

“I- I’m so-“ Jack’s poor attempt at an apology was cut off by roaring laughter from Tommy, the teen bent over to his knees wheezing as Jack stood terrified. He’d almost forgot that he was in the presence of the second most powerful person in the forest, magically and politically. That the boy in front of him was just as capable of exiling him to The Bogs as King Philza was. And, just as a bonus, Tommy never let Jack doubt the fact that he didn’t fucking like him. And now he’s just gone and insulted the king and gave his son a free pass to get rid of him for good. Oh fuck.

But, to his shock, when Tommy righted himself his face was absolutely beaming. He wiped a tear from his eye as he slapped a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Ok, I take it back, maybe I can see why Niki likes you, just a little bit though.” “S-so you’re not…gonna tell Phil..?” Jack asked, his fear only slightly relieved. When Tommy’s face morphed from humored to smug, though, that fear was immediately back. “Well, I think that can be arranged…for a price.” “Price?” “Yeah, let’s put it like this; you let me go right now and don’t make me tell you where i’m fuckin going, and I don’t report you for lèse-majesté.” Tommy stuck out a hand, and Jack shook it before he could even fully fathom what he was agreeing to. “Deal, a hundred times deal, your dad would fucking kill me.” Tommy just laughed. “Good man. Well, i’ll see you later then, Jack! Good luck with Schlatt when he comes to ask where I am!!” Tommy chuckled as he began to walk away.

“Wait, your majesty!” Jack shouted, and Tommy turned, seemingly slightly annoyed that Jack was still trying to talk to him when he so clearly wanted to fuck off to wherever he went to when he disappeared for hours. Jack knew he had to be careful with this; he’d just made Tommy like him a little bit, he couldn’t lose that yet. “Just…when you get back, can we talk about this? A bit? I don’t care where you go, for fucks sake you can do magic, I know you can protect yourself, but can we like…work out when you leave or don’t? So your dad doesn’t absolutely fucking hate me? He may be a bitch but he’s still my boss.” Jack hoped that insulting Phil again (as horrified as it made him feel) would open Tommy’s mind to the idea since it had seemingly worked before, and given that Tommy seemed less annoyed, it apparently worked. “You mean…you’d cover for me? Without even knowing where I’m headed off to? You would lie to the king for me?” “I mean, sure, man, why the hell not. Right now I don’t know where you are and I get in trouble, I’d much rather not know where you are and not get in trouble. Plus, who’s gonna turn me in for lying, you? You’d be turning yourself in.”

Tommy stood in shock, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and that scared Jack. Shit, had he overstepped a boundary somewhere? Was Tommy angry that he would advocate a scheme against his dad? Did he just fuck himself over?? But Tommy, ever so full of surprises, just smiled at Jack. “We’ll see, let me think about it. I’ll let you know when I get back.” He said, and held a fist in front of him. Jack smiled unsurely and fistbumed him, making Tommy chuckle as he turned and continued down the hallway.

Oh Prime, what has he got himself into?

~~~

“So, Jack, where is my son?” King Philza said, sat at his desk in his chambers, and Jack could barely utter a word. Schlatt stood behind Phil on his right, face as stone cold and intimidating as ever. Niki, bless her heart for arguing to be in the room with him for this, stood behind Phil on his left, eyes pleading with Jack for him to think of something. But, truly, in the dozen or so times he’s had to do this because Tommy fucking sucked, he’s never had an excuse. He’d always just apologized and Phil had disappointedly sent him home for the night with the command that he’d better be able to do his job tomorrow. That he’d better know where Tommy was the next night. It never happened, he never did, and this “i’m not mad i’m just disappointed” routine with the fucking king had become a nightly routine. Jack was getting kind of sick of it.

“Jack?” Philza repeated, and Jack sighed. “Your majesty, I-“ The door was kicked in suddenly, scaring the shit out of Jack and no one else in the room (fuck the royals and the guards and their unnatural lack of fight or flight), the prince in question proudly standing in the doorway, panting and exhausted but excited looking. “Holy shit!” he shouted. “You were right Jack! This was a tough book to find!” Tommy chuckled only mildly unbelievably before chucking a book at Jack, who quickly caught on. “Ah, yes! I was just about to tell his highness your father that you were down in the library grabbing a book on…uh, gardening…yeah! Yeah, we…we gardened today.” Jack lied through his teeth. “Yeah, we were looking into where the best place for crops would be so the bugfolk have a good harvest this spring! Y’know, doin some charity work, spreading peace and kindness and all the shit you preach, yeah?” Tommy continued, waltzing up to the king’s desk and leaning on it. Jack had to keep himself from gasping, reminding himself that Tommy was the prince and therefore wouldn’t be harshly punished for showing such disrespect in a royal’s presence. He himself was a royal, after all, though that didn’t make his lax behavior any less unexpected in an area that Jack had come to know as strict and horrifyingly stressful.

“So you were…out gardening.” Philza repeated, seemingly not buying a word, and Jack felt his heart stop. Tommy, however, was unfazed. “Yeah!” Tommy exclaimed, ignoring his father’s skepticism in favor of pulling a map out of the book in Jack’s hand. The map was a hand-drawn top view of the forest, with doodles, circles, arrows, and written notes scribbled all around it. He proudly came around to Phil’s side and excitedly began rambling about every little thing on the map. If Jack didn’t know that Tommy was his son, he’d assume that Phil was on the verge of exiling him based on his face alone. He seemed…more than annoyed, he seemed straight up miserable sitting and listening to Tommy talk. Yeesh, maybe this was why he had to hire someone to be around him. It seemed like an overreaction to listening to his kids talk about plants, he looked like he wanted to die right then and there.

“-so I think the best place for the sugar cane would be this spot where there aren’t any trees so it gets super hot, and it’s close to the lake but not too close so the soil doesn’t get waterlogged, which means the dirt will be ideal fo-“ “Stop!!” Philza shouted, slamming his hands on his desk and startling everyone in the room, even his guards. He dropped his head into his hands and sighed, fully missing the reaction of everyone in the room. Schlatt’s eyes were wide and Niki looked panic. Tommy looked…scared. Well, scared for all of .2 seconds before his expression shifted to something smug. Phil looked up at him with pity and Tommy’s reaction quickly changed into innocent confusion, slipping a mask back on to continue his act.

“Just…just stop. Listen, Tommy, I’m glad you think you’re helping. I am. But we can’t involve ourselves in the bugfolk’s problems. Their crops provide absolutely nothing to us, it’s a waste to fix what they need to be fixing amongst themselves.” Jack saw Tommy’s mask crack a bit. “But they’re like us, dad, they’re our people! This winter has been rough for them and they need all the help they can ge-“ “No, Tommy.” Phil interrupted, eyes turning hard, any and all pity gone. “They may be our people, but they’re not like us. They will never be like us. They’re in our land, and we allow them to be, with all of the benefits that come from living here. That’s all we owe them, nothing more, nothing less. End of conversation.” Tommy’s facial expression was blank, though if looks could kill, Jack was sure that Tommy would have needed a coronation by the next morning. He was pissed at Phil. A bubbling, festering anger that was sure to explode and cause permanent damage at some point in the near future.

However, it wouldn’t today.

Tommy, ever the actor, breathed out deeply to compose himself before rolling up his map. “‘Course, dad. Whatever is best for our p-…for the forest. You know best.” “You’ll learn, Tommy.” Philza said, reaching out to hold Tommy’s fists that curled around his map. “You’ll be a great king someday. A wise man once said: ‘the line between naivety and hopefulness is almost invisible.’ You just haven’t found the line yet, and I don’t expect you too at your age. In time you’ll learn just as I did exactly what needs to be done to keep the people you care about safe.” Tommy just stood, pointedly not answering. Philza sighed. “You are dismissed, Tommy. And Jack, good work today, keep this up. You are dismissed as well.” Tommy, deadpan as ever, walked back towards the entrance as Jack bowed in response. Well, tried to. Tommy yanked him by the shoulder and dragged him out of the room midway down, almost making him drop the gardening book.

As soon as they were far enough away from the chamber, Tommy dropped jacks arm and started screaming with clenched teeth, yanking on the petals on his head and kicking the nearest wall to him. Jack figured it was best to just…let him have his moment. “UUGGHHH, just, who does he think he is?! ‘oH Tommy they’re not liKe uS, they’re our people but they’re woRsE cause they’re not LeAveS’ it’s fucking ridiculous!! He barely knows anything about them, who is he to just decide that we just shouldn’t help with their crops?!” Tommy yelled, kicking another wall. “I- i don’t know, man.” Jack whispered, unsure if any of what Tommy said was rhetorical. Tommy looked over at him and just sighed.

“Sorry, it just drives me up a fucking wall. He thinks he’s the prime example of a fucking king and meanwhile he hates like half his citizens, and 3/4 of the forest as a whole, it’s fucking ridiculous.” Jack stood for a minute, eyes wide. What did he say? 3/4 would imply that he was upset that Phil hated…the enemy? “Well…he, uh, at the very least protects us from the boggins, but yeah…all that stuff about bugfolk, that wasn’t, uh, that wasn’t cool, man.” Now it was Tommy’s turn to be shocked, before he quickly tried and this time failed to put a mask back on. “Oh, yeah, ha! Whoops, sorry, I, uh, yeah, no fuck the boggins. Totally, yeah they suck. They’re, ha, yeah they’re horrifying, i’d hate to ever have to face one of them, thank god Phil keeps ‘em out!” Tommy rambled awkwardly, which led to a far more awkward moment of silence between Jack and Tommy after he finished.

“Look, man,” Jack finally broke the silence, “I appreciate you helping me out of that. I think Phil was really done with me that time.” “Well, I figured it was a good enough idea. Would benefit both of us, anyway. You wouldn’t get in trouble, my dad gets to think i’m doin’ shit, it’s foolproof.” “So, it’s official?” Jack said, offering a fist. Tommy laughed and fist bumped him back, a genuine smile on his face. “It’s official. We’ll work out the details tomorrow, though, I’m tired as shit. See ya, man.” Tommy said as he turned away, waving with one hand and holding a map in the other…

He was still holding a gardening book.

“Wait, Tom!” He didn’t know when he decided that it was ok to call the crown prince by a nickname, but given that Tommy didn’t correct him when he turned in response, he supposed the nickname was accepted. “You forgot your book.” He said, holding it out to a very relieved looking Tommy. “Shit, right, thank you! Can’t believe I almost forgot this.” He said, unrolling his map and placing it back in his book. “I gotta say, man, that’s a lot of effort to put into a map for a bit.” Jack said. “Where did you even get this gardening book? I’ve never seen it in the library.” “Oh, it’s not from the library, it was a gift from a friend. And the map wasn’t for the bit.” Tommy said gleefully, ignoring Jack’s shock for probably the fiftieth time that evening. “I wasn’t lying this time, that’s genuinely what I was out doing all day. I didn’t have time to think of a fake out story. But don’t expect me to tell you everything from now on, that’s just a thank you for helping me out. Night Jack!” Tommy said, waving and running down the hall towards his room, leaving Jack in confused shock. Jack huffed and shook his head as he started in the opposite direction towards the castle’s exit.

“Jack, wait up!” he heard a familiar voice call as his best friend caught up with him. “Hey Niki, don’t you have important General shit to do?” “C’mon, you’ve been a personal hand to the royal family for almost a month now, i’d say it’s important to make sure you’re escorted home safely.” She snickered, and Jack rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, as if the king would care if I got home safe.” “Well, he might start to if you make a habit of keeping track of the prince! It’s been a while since he’s even told us how his day was.” “Has it also been a while since his highness had a freak out like that or is that a regular thing?” Jack whispered. A pause, before Niki sighed and whispered back. “He’s stressed. I…I haven’t seen him get like that in a long while. Phil is my friend, I know him, I know how he is, and that isn’t him.”

Ok, so getting the confirmation that Phil and Niki’s relationship wasn’t strictly professional and was an actual friendship was unexpected, but that wasn’t the topic right now. “Was it Tommy? Does he really hate the idea of gardening that much? Does he just…not like being with Tommy? Is that why he needs me?” “No, not that, definitely not that.” Niki responded urgently. “He loves Tommy, I know he doesn’t show it well, but he does. I…I think it was more the topic. Not the gardening, more the idea of who it was for.” “The bugfolk? Why?” “Beats me, but Phil doesn’t ever really like to talk about them. If we’re trying to be more specific, though, something happened recently. More territory shit, some leafmen got hurt, we’ve been dealing with it so it doesn’t turn into an uprising. It’s been getting handled, but I think it was just bad timing, we haven’t told Tommy about that incident because it’s contained, so he wouldn’t have known that talking about helping the bugfolk would set Phil off.” “Prime, man, that’s…that’s rough. Not like it’s Tommy’s fault, though, felt kinda wrong for King Philza to snap at him of all people. Plus, some of that other shit he was saying was…how do I put this…..distasteful.”

Niki looked…uncomfortable, to say the least. “I know, and I agree with you,” she sighed, “but he’s my king. He’s my friend. He has his reasons to be like this and frankly? Our kingdom is thriving, so what’s the harm?” The harm is that he might hurt bugfolk like he’s hurt others, Jack thought. The harm is that he could exile an entire species out of the forest to a place of rot and death and savage beastly occupants and the worst part is that it wouldn’t even be the first time he did that. The harm is that he’s destroying his relationship with his kid and making said kid standoffish to anyone who attempts to befriend them. And oh, didn’t that just make so much sense? Maybe it wasn’t that Tommy was just brash and rude, could it…could it be self defense? Was he pushing people away on purpose? Now that he thought about it, he’d never actually seen Tommy talk to…anyone. Prime, did this kid have friends? He doubted it, if his general approach is the same one he used with Jack. He would have given up with the prince a long time ago if it weren’t for Niki and the fact that a royal job pays well.

“Jack?” Niki said, snapping him out of this thoughts. “Sorry, sorry Niki, I’m just…I’m just tired.” “I can only imagine,” Niki laughed, elbowing Jack in the arm, “you’ve got to be exhausted if you were out gardening with Tommy all day.” And oh, Jack hadn’t thought of this part: he’d have to continually lie to his best friend for this plan to work. Fuck his life. “Yeah, yeah, ha..takes a lot outta ya.” He laughed uncomfortably, though Niki didn’t seem to notice. “Well, you’re almost home and I’ve got to get reports in from the soldiers in my unit. I’ll talk to you later Jack! Good night!” She gave him a quick side hug before turning back towards the castle, leaving Jack alone in his thoughts.

Ok, so new notes for the day: the prince is…tolerant of him. Dare he say kind of likes him. He’s kind of still reeling from the realization that Tommy may just be acting out due to daddy issues and loneliness. The king likely knows they’re full of shit and just doesn’t care, Niki trusts him and he’s going to have to break that trust and lie to her because the prince is a secretive prick, and, oh yeah, the king might be a fucking bigot. Great.

Fuck.

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

[darishima]

What do you like about Midari? I rarely find people who love the show :D

ohh boy that's hard to answer... is it a copout if i say everything? it probably is so i'm gonna try to pin down all the reasons why. sorry it'll probably be long and a bit rambley 😭 thank you so so much for asking though i have been WAITING for the opportunity to talk about midari

*tw for discussion of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and general mental illness (obviously, cause this is midari we're talking about)*

first of all, i think a lot of it is because i heavily relate to her. the feeling of never being fulfilled or truly happy and turning to pain and suicide as the apparent answer... it really hits home, and back when i watched kakegurui for the first time (in 2019) i'd never really seen any other piece of media that talked about it so openly.

that, specifically, is one of the things i find most interesting about her- the fact that (prior to meeting kirari and losing her eye) she'd never been "truly happy." and the fact that (self-inflicted) pain (or the risk of pain/death, specifically) is what finally made her feel something is so deeply sad. i feel like a lot of people brush her off as a "crazy yandere" or whatever, which is frustrating because she's so much more than that (and even her ""yandere"" side, the way she feels about yumeko, is just because she wants yumeko to kill her; it's not the typical yandere portrayal, like yuno gasai or the like, because it's not driven by romantic interest- at least, not fully). she's clearly struggling (the bandages she wears on her arms seem much too convenient to be there for any reason other than covering self harm scars/injuries), but she still has such a confident and "gives-no-fucks" attitude that i find genuinely admirable. she's really smart (she's a amazing gambler, has good grades, and i've always gotten the impression that she could easily be the top of her class, maybe even rival sayaka, if she ever bothered to study), very perceptive (as shown when she immediately saw through yumemi's idol façade and sayaka's intelligence), and also genuinely caring, like when she saves ayame nureba from suicide in the kakegurui midari manga (granted, she does it in a distinctly midari-esque way, but she still saves her life).

a lesser seen side of her, though, is that she's actually kind of... a adorable weirdo? it's most often shown in kakkokari (a manga spinoff of kakegurui that not many people have read, because it's never gotten an official english release/translation). like, she refers to animals with the -san honorific (except giraffes, she doesn't like giraffes),

cleans up trash around the school,

knows yumemi's songs by heart,

orders cutesy dishes at a coffee shop,

and when she gets 3rd place in a "which student council member do you want to be your girlfriend" competition, she's surprised and embarrassed (i'd vote for her in a heartbeat btw)

she's just so skrunkly yknow?? and there's dozens more moments like this from kakkokari, like when she wears a kigurumi hoodie like runa's, or when she gets hiccups and convinces kirari to choke her, or when she turns out to be surprisingly worried about how other people perceive her, and asks sayaka to teach her how to fix her "vulgarity" (and then gets told by kirari that she seems "normal," and immediately holds her gun to her head lmao).

TLDR; she's someone who is struggling a lot, and has been for years, but still manages to be smart, perceptive, confident, and kind. the issues she has with her mental health are things i've struggled with too, and really relate to (i'm a midari kin, after all), and god i just want to give her a hug so bad. and she's also adorable and goofy and weird in all the best ways, and she means the world to me <3

sorry that was SO long lmao... i had to omit a lot of character analysis from kakegurui midari (a manga spin off about her pre-canon, in which she has a girlfriend) but i hope i answered your question well enough!! thank you for asking, and giving me an excuse to ramble about midari :))

[myfaveisfuckable]

Rants!

Mr Green/Wadsworth: The inherent homoeroticism of throwing a man to the floor... Being annoying... Both r clearly gay anyway... I think they have hooked up and are denying feelings tbh

Susan/Peggy: Every day I'm furious that Susan doesn't get to go to heaven because she discovered lipstick and nylons. FUCK C.S. Lewis for that for real. She lived an adult life with more agency and personhood than she could possibly access in a lifetime England when she returned from Narnia and was told she could never go back to Narnia—so why is she punished for trying to make the most of her life?!

I've seen the take that "busy chasing lipstick and nylons" doesn't mean she's more interested in fashion than in lion jesus, it means she was attracted to women, and yknow, that just makes things worse.

I saw season 1 of Agemt Carter, I read the Peggy/Angie vibes, and I'm a multishipper at heart. Susan crossing paths with Peggy Carter is SO plausable and it's one of the few ways I could see her finding a happy and fulfilling life moving forward! And god does she ever deserve better than she gets in canon.

Rochi: there are literally 19 fics for this ship, all but 3 written by the same person, and the characters have never even been mentioned in the same sentence, let alone met. neither of them have any lines, we don't know what one looks like and we only know he exists because of like 2 fact files you can find scattered around the game. but holy shit if the dynamic ive deluded myself into thinking they have isnt DELECTABLE

Duckylove: A HYPERSPECIFIC POLYCULE BETWEEN MOST OF THE TEENAGERS IN THE DWAMPYVERSE CAST. TECHNICALLY THE BASIS IS IN THE PHINEAS AND FERB CAST, WITH CANDACE DATING JEREMY, STACY, AND VANESSA, BUT IT COMPLICATES FROM THERE. I USUALLY HAVE STACY AND VANESSA DATING EACH OTHER, ALONG WITH STACY DATING COLTRANE AND VANESSA DATING MONTY. MONTY CAN ALSO BE DATING CARL IT DEPENDS. FROM THERE THERES THE MILO MURPHY'S LAW CAST, WITH SARA DATING CANDACE AND VANESSA, ALONG WITH NEAL. THE HAMSTER AND GRETEL CAST INCLUSION IS KEVIN DATING HIROMI, WHOS DATING STACY AND SARA AS WELL. FRED AND JENNY (AND A BUNCHA THE OTHER TEENS BUT LESS FULLY AS THESE TWO) ARE ALSO THERE BUT FRED AND JENNY ARE AROACE SO THEY JUST KINDA EXIST THERE.

[lanaevyssmoved]

i was doing some thinking about my 3 years later fic and i think i need to change it AGAIN because i had an idea im obsessed with

instead of tara curing gales possession, its candor

when possessed!gale kills afhiri and candor greets her to escort her to morninglory before she's ripped away from him and back to life - candor senses something is wrong by what she tells him and decides to go see for himself

he sees possessed!gale, afhiri unlike herself submissive and afraid, and elects to finally kill gale like he always intended to

afhiri once again begs for gale's life, and candor relents, he can't do that to afhiri - and instead cures gale of the possession - knowing the entire time upon seeing him that he was possessed

while gale is coming too candor rushes afhiri, hands on them, and looks her over, coming to the decision that he needs to take her away

so while gale is gathering his bearings so he can speak with afhiri finally after all this time - because gale is fully aware while all of this was going on - afhiri is taken from him before he can say a thing

candor is maybe obviously fully solary here so. big 10ft angel with fat ass wings and floating off the ground and yknow. all that. and he just, scoops afhiri up and Fucks Off with them

its worth remembering at this point that candor has watched over afhiri for the majority of their life and the only reason afhiri survived wild magic and was never 'found out' for being a sorcerer.. including by herself - and that candor and afhiri travelled just the two of them for a whole year before tadpole - at the end of the game candor leaves to return to the upper planes feeling not only fully redeemed by its acts and also like it no longer needs to guide and protect afhiri, choosing to TRUST gale in this task. i would say afhiri and candor are the closest thing to a soulmates trope i've ever written ^_^

afhiri isn't concerned or worried about candor just taking them away. her mind melts away from what happened because afhiri is a fully here and now character - there's no space to think about what just happened, because we're here now!

they're awestruck by flying through the air in the arms of something 5ft larger than themselves and it's CANDOR.. IT'S CANDOR!!!!!!!!! :D afhiri barely got to interact with candor in its true form so. get ready for the first nice thing thats happened in the fic for. fucking ages (fray catharsis time)

candor takes afhiri to a quiet place in the middle of no where. fields for miles in one direction and a cliff face in another, water stretched for miles, the sun high and warm on them....

they slip into each other like no time has passed, completely consumed with one another. afhiri touching every inch they can reach, fingers stroking thick soft feathers in prestine condition, candor's hands that eclipse her form grabbing and exploring, but candor's checking for injuries and their health while afhiri is just excited and happy that it's candor....... it's candor !!!!!!!!!

none of the comfort they had with each other has gone, candor can lift their clothes and explore every inch and they don't mind, entirely comfortable and relaxed, not a single hint of shyness or fluster.......

when they're finished looking each other over, candor brings her in for the warmest hug, afhiri lost and buried in trunk arms and those wings that drag on the ground hiding her in there like theyre the most precious thing in the world that needs to be protected

they spend hours here. candor rests on the ground and afhiri climbs into its lap and they cuddle together talking the entire time.. afhiri does their best to explain what has happened in these 3 years, candor especially prodding for what has been happening recently

i like to think candor keeps afhiri for longer than a few hours though. probably a few days, giving gale time to come fully back to himself and recover from at least some of the physical exersion.

i also like to think that candor finds it immensely difficult to leave again. but candor is an angel, has all of eternity to wait for afhiri to rejoin it in morninglory.. candor still fully believing they will be together again when she dies, content to wait out their lifespan ^_^

little does candor know the person it entrusted afhiri to, and is choosing to Yet Again despite this, plans to keep afhiri :)............

I KNOW i make it sound like gale is the antagonist and bad whenever i write about candor but thats because any pov candor writing.. that IS what gale is, candor opposses everything about gale but only allows gales continued existence because candors only weakness is afhiri........ candor fans will want afhiri gale to break up so bad........................

[gemsofthegalaxy]

is there ever a time when you're kinda paranoid or anxious over something but you usually think it through and you're like, no, no that's not realistic, nobody would think that anyway

and then because youre terminally online you see a tumblr poll that affirms actually a bunch of people think this harmless normal thing is actually deeply not okay? lmao

i just came across a poll that was like "is it okay to fantasize about an asexual partner" and so many people selected "maybe, depends on who is involved" like. girl

there may be a bit of nuance here where the question is about a Partner in that, yknow, if fantasizing about them is going to cause someone to pressure their partner into sex that's not good- but the issue with pressuring someone, not the fantasy in and of itself

and whether or not someone should share these fantasies is solely up to them and their partner. newsflash, some ace people like sex and would be happy to hear about their partner's fantasies???? some ace people will be having sex with their partner????

frankly, though, if one person in a partnership is going to be made uncomfortable by the other person's private thoughts about them, maybe they just aren't compatible... like. you just. can't control what another person is thinking.

now for the personal oversharing aspect.... i expressed this to the lady friend the other day, but, like- i have a really hard time fantasizing about myself/myself with other people partially because i DO worry that i'm doing something inappropriate or disrespectful. I worry about realism, if the other person would actually be that way, i feel embarassed to be thinking of someone else because what if they wouldn't like me, loads of other things. but when it comes to the idea of me disrespecting them? i really, truly, honestly do not think that is a worry i should have, because i sincerely and fully think that what happens in my brain is my business and nobody else's. my insecurity and other hangups aside, i find the notion that fantasizing about someone is somehow violating them is absurd as fuck

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

i think ive decided fr actually. good lord you guys better appreciate this bc i dont know if i ever intended to think this intensely about this au....

and sorry if u dont like it but it's my au <3

heroes

Patton Foster (alias: Guardian. Just a normal guy who trained super hard, has a handful of cool tech and a mask. He's basically Batman. - Costume is probably mostly shades of dark grey / light grey and pale blue highlights - has a cowl)

Roman Valdez (alias: Hurricane. He's basially Superman, was an alien baby who crashlanded on earth. - Costume is white with a red? gold? H on his chest, red cape, red boots and gloves. probably not masked Or has a little over-the-eyes Green Lantern/Mr Incredible style mask. Probably built like Mr Incredible too)

Remus Valdez (alias: Maelstrom. He's basically Aquaman. Also not human - half-Atlantean (im gonna steal this i can do what I like). Raised on the surface. Can control water and sea life, can talk to fish, LOVES octopi/tentacle motif above all else. - Costume: probably yknow super green black and silver, probably has that scale-like skintight chest piece and maybe some armour motifs (bc Atlantis) Face is not covered)

Side note: i think Roman And Remus were found by like. a lighthouse keeper. who went oh boy!!! free sons!!! and raised them as brothers. They fully consider each other brothers. they grew up together and hero together, probs dont live together currently tho.

also i came up with the names separately but it means they both named themselves after weather phenomena and that is twin behaviour godbless

the three of them have something like a justice league together - it probably has Other Heroes in it part time too but. waves hand. background characters. They have an HQ. Somewhere.

villains

Janus [Surname Pending] (alias: Siren. A magician-cross-catburlgar... he's like... Catwoman if she had Zatanna's powers and aesthetics. Magic is real and he has it. And uses it for. Well. Everything. Morally grey rogue rather than evil villain. He's still super fucking with Guardian. - Costume: face half-scaled (genuinely from a magic curse) the other half masked phantom of the opera style. wears like... a magician's get up crossed his canon outfit but with bootyshorts and fishnets)

Logan Sanders (alias: [pending]. He's not really evil, or, not if you ask him. But he does think having these so called super-'heroes' running around without a contingency plan is... irresponsible. In private he is building a mech suit capable of taking down Hurricane Should He Need Taking Down. Has strong morals <- not good morals, just strong morals. Sometimes funds smaller villains/rogues for ,,,reasons. Patton is his secretary but they dont know the other is hero/villain (a shame, if they were on the same side, they'd get along very well) - Costume: well. it's a mech-suit, bulkier / more armoured than, say Iron Man, but not,, like,,, ten feet tall. all cold steel, maybe burnished black in parts, and i can see it having a visor with electronic eyes that can be Logan's signature blue.

Virgil (Surname Pending) (alias: [also pending] <- probably storm Or shadow related. He's the most nebulous to me right now but tbh i can see a semi-harley quinn backstory where he was tangled up with a gangleader who won him over into a life of crime but he's not that happy (i.e., open to...persuasion) with it. Don't know if he should have powers or not... - Costume: blacks, purples w/ hints of yellow. Hood covers hair and eyes and mask covers lower face. dresses in layers typical of like... a medieval assassin (he's not an assassin) (he's probably killed people before tho)

Virgil and Janus have probably crossed paths before as their rogue aliases. Janus has met Logan (under a fake name). it's possible Logan (in costume, under alias) has worked with Virgil/Virgil's boss before. Generally, esp now Virgil's striking out a little more on his own, Virgil and Janus are kinda too low on Logan's radar for him to seek them out so far. (Janus likes it like that) (tbh so does Virgil)

[soggypotatoes]

today was the worst day, and of my own choosing haha

I went to uni, it was nice but I felt a bit.. I'm too tired to talk about it but it was hard.. but I did a whole assignment after class which was good! and then I rewarded myself by walking round the library a bit and doing some light reading aka a book abt modern slavery and specifically reading a few chapters written by victims of sex trafficking about the brutality they experienced, and I was all 'oh this is interesting and I'm being education so I am fine to be reading this' only for me to get up and fucking..

it's like staring into a bright light for an hour and then walking around the city with the imprint on your vision that you cant quite see through, yknow? like fuck. slavery is worse than ever and I'm profiting from it. anyway. time to go to my parents place.

and they're living in a nightmare situation rn (their house usually is but it's worse than normal bc my mum's incapacitated by recent surgery but refuses to value herself so shes looking after her friends 3 dogs for a week - 3 young, energetic dogs that jump on her ((SHE HAD SURGERY SHES IN PAIN ALL THE TIME)) and poo in the house and she also already has 2 dogs to look after and my dad's a workaholic who's barely around so I'm going over to walk them bc guess what I also value others over myself anyway)

I'm exhausteddddd y'all.. but I forced myself to find peace with it. it's just, being at my parents is so hard. always takes me like a week to recover when I go there and now I have to go most days even tho my dad and brother are fully able to look after her. I'm the one with empathy so I gotta do it 🙃

ANNNNYWAYS. I feel so much better now bc housemate and I watched a media I hate together and I got to feel my anger and frustration validated. that's something I'm learning, that for me, watching happy nice things makes me feel sad and like something's wrong with me. I need to share my emotions with someone even if it's just hate watching something lmao

[skitskatdacat63]

hi catie u can write as many paragraphs on any film that u watch!!! i think that would be neat :)

also DISCLAIMER i havent watched killers of the flower moon, nor have i fully researched the real life event, but i feel like one of the reasons that people think it’s peak cinema is that it’s really really long and (i am assuming) that it has some interesting cinematography?

idk it reminds me of oppenheimer (film i actually watched). like its good-ish, super lengthy, and portray historical events. the visuals were fantastic but i don’t think it was absolutely perfect and the best film of the century, etc etc…

i honestly dont know where i was going with this so sorry for the super lengthy ask 😭

OKAY THEO THANK YOU FOR FREEING ME FROM THE SHACKLES OF MY INSECURITY

Okay as a preface. Watched this with my mom who read the book it's based off of, so that's an additional perspective I'm gonna touch on, and also was very glad to have. And also YES I HAVE SEEN OPPENHEIMER!!!! Seriously my ultimate film of 2023, probably one of my favorite movies I've ever watched. And I guess I thought that, because I enjoyed that, I would enjoy Killers of the Flower Moon(KotFM from now on), for the exact reasons you stated! Also I'm trying to watch all the oscar nominated best pictures before the event lol!

I will rant now, thank you :)

I'm sorry but like I genuinely don't understand how it's so highly acclaimed???? Like how are all the popular/majority of reviews positive?? Did we watch the same film????? Have I somehow lost my taste for cinema???? It's just like, any argument I've seen about why it's actually amazing is so easy to dispute??

"It's about how evil can be done by normal people and that's why it's from the perspective of the perpetrators blah blah" Well, I just watched The Zone of Interest, and I think it portrayed that concept wayyyyy better. Everything was so off-putting and disturbing, and it was from the perspective of the perpetrators, just like KotFM! And you literally never see those getting murdered, because it's all off screen and yet you still feel disgusted and feel terrible about what's happening, even though you didn't techinally see anything that happened. Meanwhile in KOTFM, the Osage are there on screen, actively being exploited and murdered, and I just don't feel attached to any of it, because it wasn't fleshed out well. And to add on, my mom said so much of the stuff involving Leo's character, yknow the character they picked as the main character instead of the actual Native Americans, was just completely made-up! Wasn't in the book at all!!! Martin Scorcese said that he read the book, and immediately thought that it was a book that needed to be adapted to film. And then just fucking makes up shit???? Yes certainly you have to add narrative stuff into a movie when adapting from a book, but to just make so much shit up just so you can portray it from a different angle is so bullshit to me.

"Every minute in the almost 3½ hour runtime is justified" I am convinced people are straight up lying, I'm sorry. It's not like I don't enjoy long movies! Loved Lawrence of Arabia, that's literally almost 4 hours long. Loved Oppenheimer, that's 3 hours long. I like long movies but oh my god, this was just a complete slog. And I kept seeing people say that the last hour was the best, well I'm sorry but after having to sit through 2½ torturous hours, I just have no mental energy left for what's apparently called the best part. I hate that people always start calling movies with long runtime cinema. Yes there are movies I definitely think are worth the long runtime; this one was not one of them.

"The main heart of the movie is the romance" Oh my god, this bugs me so much. I was so happy about Lily Gladstone winning and being in teh running for awards....until I watched the actual movie. Her romance with Leo's character literally makes no sense, and I felt just so ???? about it. The movie wants you to think they're so compelling and that it's so unfortunate that Leo's character is doing these terrible things to this woman he loves and her family, but they literally spent zero time fleshing the relationship out???? It was literally like, oh hey they're in a relationship now, don't really get why, but okay. There's actual reasons about why she would marry him(she literally needs a white man's permission to get access to her own money), but no nooooo they're so in love. There is zero build up. She knows he wants her money, he has literally zero charm, and yet she marries him and says "yeah I know he wants my money, but he's handsome!!" In what world!?!?!?? And a lot of the last section is like, awww they're hugging...even tho he murdered her whole family. And its just you get zero sense of any love between them, because they failed to build it in the first place, and certainly you could make this plot compelling but it's just not!!! It's not!!!!!

Another thing is that for basically all of the movie, I really couldn't get a grasp of anything that was going on. It didn't feel like a connected narrative for me, it felt like vignettes. Like, oh hey we're in this scene now I guess, I don't really know how this connects, or whats going on, or where we are in the story! It just felt very discombobulating for me, maybe I'm stupid, but I couldn't get a grasp on it. And I basically knew the plot, and so did my mom of course, but neither of us could really follow it so, maybe that's not a me problem, but a problem with the film! And I think vignettes can be used well, I thought The Zone of Interest did it really well, where you're just voyeuristiclly watching the family, and there's really no narrative, bur it was really effective. KofFM was more like, oh they're trying to tell a story here, but just not ...well. it's even worse when it's so long, because you're just feeling constantly unconnected from the story and its a slog and it's terrible, etc etc. You're just watching the characters fucking meander around, and you're like, man, would love it if it felt like the plot was actually progressing. And so much of it felt like the big events happened off screen, and you're kinda just told that they happened.

Also okay so the book itself is framed somewhat as a murder mystery. It's very well researched, and it slowly gives you the truth, as if you're learning it alongside the actual people involved. In the film, it's literally so obvious within the first 15 mins who the bad guys are. So you're just spending the whole film, watching all these characters(who you really have no reason to care about imo) die, and they all come off as so naive, and you're just furiously gesturing like "does no one notice these cartoonishly bad guys!?!?!?!?!" Yes, you can do a film where you know the truth from the beginning and watch the cast find out, that's a great concept! But this just made the native American characters come off as stupid and naive, and you're supposed to feel bad for them, and I do, but because I know the actial history, not because anything the film is showing me. Again, they don't flesh out the characters well at all imo, so you watch then die, and you're like, okay this person died, this is a depressing situation, but god, can they figure it out already. Again, the narrative with Lily Gladstone's character is that she loves her husband, so she can't really see what's going on. But. That love is not believable. And before they're in love, she's very suspicious of him, and yet now somehow when he's killing off her whole family, it's fine?????

Ugh okay yeah I don't know what else to say, except thst I just feel like I wasted so much of my time, and it really sucked out my energy. I'd like to be more concise, and I probably have more complaints but again, it really just killed my brain. And also that's its very frustrating and isolating when you hated a film, and then all the reviews are extremely positive and you can't see where any of them are coming from. The funniest part is that my mom and I are like wow this movie feels like it's been going on a while, let's check how much is left! Literally only halfway through. I really could not fully focus after that because I was like, I cannot do almost 2 more hours of this shit. I wanted to finish it because i was really hoping it would pick up, and I would realize why everyone likes it so much, but that never happened, I just felt increasingly bored and done with it. I think with Oppenheimer, a film I love, I was originally kinda unsure but as it kept going, I fell in love with it and didn't want it to end; so I guess I was hoping that would happen with this and it never did. It just got increasingly more boring for me, and I just got more aggravated about it. Also cannot believe I saw reviews saying of Scorcese's films, this one was better than The Departed. Absolutely no way.

Anyways this was extremely salty, oops. Wish I could get those 3 hours back, and watch some other movie instead. I wanted to watch Dallas Buyers Club or Tár, but I just feel like I've wasted enough mental energy tonight. Also lol, kept meaning to post this but it's deranged, but I'm talking about movies already and my brain is all over the place so might as well! I really want to rewatch Interstellar, but I feel like it'll completely emotionally destroy me again so I can't. Y'know when you just like a movie so much and ir means so much to you that it's just way too emotionally investing to rewatch!?!??! But I keep thinking about it, bcs im super into matthew mcconaughey rn, but god I really can't or I'll just be sobbing and hurting.

* oh also. My original complaint abt this was that they used a historically inaccurate word. They used the word "genocide" which certainly describes the situation they're in, BUT THAT WORD WAS NOT INVENTED YET!!!!! It's so easy to check that??? Like we know when and who coined it???? Little things like that really bug me, sorry LOL. Its like man, you can't check that one little thing??

[aronarchy]

all those “How To Be Nicer To Your Kids And Maybe Yell A Little Less While Still Getting The Same ‘Good Results’ Uwu” “classes” for parents (whose kids finally stopped being able to mask how fucking distressed they are all the damn time) :: all those “How To Not Abuse Your Partner” “programs” for partners who got called out for being abusive for the first times in their entire lives (but they’re still living with the other person and treat the whole thing like it’s a “journey” where they’re “learning” to “improve themself” & make it all about them)

like. if you need “how to not abuse other people” lessons maybe you should, yknow, stay away from them until you have it all down? because, like, these are the fucking basics if you want to interact with others? but no that’s not what ever happens, bc the entire point is that it only matters whether they know/don’t know if they already have access to victims they can abuse. but none of those nice uwu webinars can actually get the results we really need bc if they did then they would be telling the abusers to relinquish control of their victims but they don’t, bc they can only allow themselves to stretch the logics so far & fundamental assumptions/beliefs still remain the same.

the general idea of the above, and other liberal violence prevention projects in general, is that abusers are merely “mistaken” about what is/isn’t harmful (or “producing good results”), & that the problem is just they believe individual types of actions are ok and just need to be “taught” they’re actually not, and that things would all be fine if they just did enough one-by-one fine tunings of the above but that is an obviously incorrect theory when in reality various individual acts of abuse exist within a larger context and that larger context is fundamentally believing one person is entitled to control and violate another’s autonomy and giving one person the power to do so while the other is prevented from escaping/fighting back. i.e. that you should not be doing this in the first place and even if it did genuinely make it impossible for you to get the fantasy close-loving-relationship or successful-happy-productive-child-doll you want then you should still not do it bc that is not w/in your rights.

& when abusers do take such “classes” they tend to brag about all the new things they’ve been learning, omg I feel so enlightened wow why didn’t I know this before, wow shouldnt the whole world be proud of me i am Literally Becoming A Great Person &, like, that is not something to be proud of lol. & if you really wanted to stop violence then you would help victims be able to escape their abusers and not have to interact w/them again / be under their power. but no that’s too hard for the nonviolence crowd who want to peace & love & educate their way to a harm-free world.

if you’re really feeling sorry abt what you did bc you finally realized that your victim got fucked up then you have to commit to that. you have to completely & fundamentally relinquish your control and beliefs of entitlement to control. you have to not only change individual actions but also your beliefs about the ways in which you may interact w/other people. and you cannot treat it like it is just another opportunity for you to get what you want. and you have to be willing to let go and not throw tantrums if they want to leave/break off entirely and you have to constantly, consistently demonstrate that you are safe for them to say no to & set boundaries with & express discomfort around and that you will not retaliate when they do so. and you will have to keep this up, fully and without pause, for the rest of your life. and you need to stop acting like this is anything more than the absolute bare minimum.

alternatively you can simply decide that you will not again have the same kind of relationships of power that you had previously & which you carr(ied) fundamentally fucked up beliefs about. that’ll save everyone a lot of time and effort—maybe even you too.

and you better choose one or the other quick or else we’ll have to choose it for you. & you might not like the answer.

[ankhisms]

ok ep 49 live reactions and final overall series thoughts

good lord theyre going to just blast the entire world with a beam i guess. no wait the tv tower my god

i do love the zect trio team with kagami misaki and tadokoro it was a nice moment when they asked kagami if he was going to move straight forward and kagami said yes and then they defied their orders to arrest kagami and are with him now like YESSSSS

NOOOOO THEY HAVE TENDOU TWO AND THEYRE GONNA USE HIM FOR THEIR PLAN. HASNT HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH HAVENT YOU TORTURED HIM ENOUGH

hiyori getting her little apron waaaa

is kagami really dead. did kagami really just die. ok thank fuck hang in there kagami

STOPPED THE END OF THE WORLD WITH A SINGLE FLOWER THAT SYMBOLIZES HIS SISTER. GO TENDOU GO

OHHHHH THEY DONT ATTACK TENDOU WHEN THEYRE TOLD TOAND THEY TURN BACK INTO HUMANS

TENDOU TWOOOOOOOO

very good moment when all the zectors came to tendou

kagami and tendou doint the finishing blow together was also good ❤️❤️

im so sad about tendou two like. what a miserable life. im so sad

letting the zectors go ....

GO AWAY DAISUKE OUT WITH YOU BEGONE FROM THE CAFE FINAL REUNUON FOUL MAN

hiyori biking through the ginkgos im just so happy shes safe and living her life to the fullest AND JYUKA CALLS HER ONEECHAN THAT MADE ME SOB

god damn it kagami becoming a cop. absolute betrayal

OH HIS DAD IS ALIVE I GUESS?

AND TENDOU JUST FUCKS OFF TO FRANCE FOREVER ALRIGHT

alright final thoughts:

im very bad at ranking what my top 5 or top 10 kamen rider/toku in general shows are because almost all the shows ive seen have things i think are good and fun and i love them and enjoy them in different ways yknow! i dont think kabuto would be in my top 5 if i ever made a list, but i did really honestly enjoy kabuto. it took me a long time to watch it i think i mightve started watching it in 2021? maybe towards the end of the year im not sure but i know its been one ive been watching for a long time and i am very fond of the characters and i know ill continue to be fond of them in the future for sure, i had a fun time watching the show and seeing what bizarre nonsense happened to the cast

im not about to act like i understood kabuto overall and i know thats a common thing to say about the show which makes sense after watching it like lmao yeah i see why people might not like this or say it makes no sense because a lot of it didnt make sense to me either but the thing is throughout the show and especially towards the end i could like see the outline and vague shape of themes but i felt muddled in being able to fully understand those themes and feel like i didnt really in the end 100% get what those themes might have been trying to say beyond messages about humanity having the capacity for good and changing for the better and of course messages about family and love with tendou being so devoted to both kagami and his sisters. there for sure is a part of the show near the end where it feels like everything just kind of goes off the rails and things are just happening rather than any semblance of plot, but i did like the last episodes and the last battle was especially good, the one year later ending was a little confusing but overall i felt like the ending fit the show well enough. kamen rider kabuto is a show that i have watched and tendou is unkillable and although he is insufferable i do love him