#not for work

[teaboot]

You ever catch a normcore conservative traditional family values type person frothing at the mouth at something benign but like. So obviously personally affected by whatever xyz thing *is* that you just. Know. That they'd be so much healthier if they just handled their repressed fetish like an adult

[teaboot]

oh holy shit

japanese game dev in the 90s: hey dude can you make some music for our game about anime girls getting fucked sloppy style

guy who's about to push the PC-98 sound card to its absolute limit and create the most heartachingly beautiful music you've ever heard: Yeah okay

[omegaverse-anesthesiologist]

why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

Art by: Henry James Garrett

[eruditetyro]

good morning let’s hear it for Mildly Cool Outside a round of applause for Mildly Cool Outside

[teaboot]

@prokopetz you made this happen

Blackout poetry exists on a dual axis from "banal" to "insightful" on the input side and "kind of deep" to "incredibly fucking dumb" on the output side, and while taking something banal and producing something kind of deep is well and fine, for my money taking something insightful and rendering it incredibly fucking dumb is where the real art is.

[teaboot]

No word of a lie my favourite dude thing ever is when older men laugh smugly and imply that the weird kinky things they do are way beyond my understanding, cause like

I work at a sex shop. I've worked s&m clubs. I once got my thumb trapped in an animatronic gyrating asshole

You're not the wild and crazy sex freak you think you are, Gary

[regina-cordium]

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed

[epoxyconfetti]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

@magitekconveyor

[copepods]

crazy how 4 hours of work will literally take up my entire 15+ hour day. who allowed this

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[ivyblooms]

The funniest homophobia I ever experienced was a Mormon lady at my work telling me she would accept me being gay because we have to get along as coworkers but I really should consider not being gay because gay people have sex like animals (especially gay men) and she just couldn't stop thinking about it and how gross we are. She started really getting distressed, near tears, and saying 'I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop." over and over and miming some kind of sex acts with her hands and I was like ?????? What is happening???? One of the other Mormon ladies had to come over and pat her on the back and help her sit down to help her calm down and our boss gave her the afternoon off due to being too upset to work.

[cloudberrytroll]

Hug