#not for the faint of heart I guess
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Diamond Dot painting
Took me many scattered hours throughout January. I think I’ll have to keep track of my progress on the next one.
#diamond dots#golden retriever#diamond dots painting#sunflowers#me#personal#I actually found this highly addicting and spent at least a couple days glued to it#like we talkin 8+ hr days#so I put some time into this thing lol#not for the faint of heart I guess#also my poor neck some days
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assorted i11 drawing dump, vol 2!
#the endous are just a.. sudden realization I guess#(the faint scars on his arm aren't accurate but my sister has those scars and they're really cool so I borrowed them for visual purposes)#gouenji is gift art#next is file name “orion.jpg” and that's the only reason for this.. bc I am a ginga guy even if I haven't finished orion and the rest yet#inazuma eleven#inazuma eleven orion#inazuma eleven victory road#own art#unmei is kinda vent and kinda just music vibes (the song for this is heart by pet shop boys)
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bad day all around 👎🏻
#first of all i thought i was gonna faint right in front of my coworker speaking to me earlier this morning#like i had to basically take items stocked on the very top of the shelves and put them on the shelves and i guess im not that okay with#heights bc i was pretty afraid of being so high up the ladder + having to handle glass bottles#so i guess that made me start sweating a lot i was so hot and then my heart started beating so fast i thought i needed to sit down right#there lmaooo my face have been so red 😭😭#anyway im fine now my legs just feel a bit weak still but 👍🏻#and then i got an email that my order for the camera i was looking forward to was cancelled and reimbursed bc the address was wrong#(it wasn't i just forgot to specify the province but like. that's also in the zip code?? but like ok my bad. couldn't you have informed me#before placing the order though. or before cancelling it.....) anyways now the price went up by 10€ and it's not that much but like....#it's the principle hdjfjfjfj idk it was upsetting bc i was looking forward to it being shipped today so 😓#plus it's been raining so hard#at least from Sunday i have a week off💆🏻♀️
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i designed another miku. i'm starting the Mikuverse. i have 40 plans for miku, this makes 2/40 done so far.
also since all these mikus are based on uhhh different parts of this underground catalog, i gave each of them a birthday based on when each part was uploaded... and i missed two of them. god damnit
#my art#vocaloid#do i recommend the underground catalog? depends#on one hand there is like a shit ton of good music#on the other hand there is elements that are not for the faint of heart... like gore and other things#so take that as you will i guess... maybe i can make a list...#like the songs from the catalog i recommend the most#probably a good idea since like. there's more than 1000 songs in the catalog before it got cancelled
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Excerpt from one of my dumb youtube comments because eh why not,
the war on drugs in a lost cause. legalize and decriminalize and allow people to open up shops so the government can tax everything under the sun like alcohol and nicotine. that way the money is out of the hands of cartels and people know what they're getting and can dose themselves properly. more jobs for the people, more money for the gov. but no, people are scared of substances, even though a lot of people consume them daily (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol - all of them are addictive, all of them can end you if you have too much, all of them have withdrawal symptoms and i know alcohol withdrawal and end you idk about the other two, and all three of them are mind-altering drugs. yes, your coffee is an addictive mind-altering drug that will cause withdrawal symptoms if you stop drinking it). the only difference between a legal drug and an illegal drug is that some stiff in a suit decided "these ones bad uwu" some illegal substances even have a medical use. psilocybin mushrooms have been shown to, in some cases, even cure depression and existential crises way more effectively than any ssri on the market. one man cured his phobia of heights by getting shroomed up and accessing a hallucinatory menu where he just turned it off. they're actually useful. which i guess is part of the reason why they're illegal, they'd put "big pharma" at a disadvantage, lol.
#Legalize and Decriminalize#War on Drugs#<- I'm on the side of the Drugs#Politics#It would also be fun of designer drugs were designed by... You know... Professionals. And tested properly before use.#I want to know what is achievable in regards to chemically manipulating the human brain and body chemistry!#I want to experience altered states of mind without having to jump through sneaky hoops or using dangerous alternatives!#The last time I used nutmeg I fainted. And I'm pretty sure I damaged my heart.#It was worth it- I got to see a very large red blood moon a few days before the real blood moon#and each subsequent high was a comfortably fuzzy 36h long creative wonderland#but the organ damage wasn't great.#I would PREFER shrooms or LSD or even DMT but 🙄#There are always grow kits I guess.#And playing chemist for DMT.#Which is one I don't understand why it's illegal#We produce it when we die ???#How is a chemical WE PRODUCE OURSELVES illegal ?????
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Today at work i got the chance to talk about joker out and i got so exited that i couldn’t walk anymore and i almost fainted🫢
#i have some weird heart thing that makes it so that she pumps yhe blood around in a not very effective way#i guess my heart decided all i needed was joker out exitemeny#no need fot walking today#almpst fainted when i tried to stand up..#i really out autismed myself today#joker out
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2am here and i'm still tying to finish my exam for tomorrow (today). where have my previous great time-management skills gone to... we were better than this people.
#writing sentences in your 2nd language about a novel you finished 2 weeks ago running on little sleep with no coffee after a 10-hour-day of#class is not for the faint of heart i guess. i'm sooo eepy. my bed is calling me...
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Dealing with fighting a disability case for 3 years has been the most…
Just.
I don’t even know how to describe it. Dehumanizing? Gas lighty? (Especially from the parents) nerve wracking… thing
Just got off the phone with my lawyer and he says things are getting near the end and like literally my entire life is hinging on this thing and it’s
A lot. It’s a lot
#and like I’m afraid to talk about any of it tbh#bc anything can and will be used against you in the court of law#sometimes they make you feel more disabled than you feel you really are#and then sometimes it’s like wait why are we down playing this other thing that is a genuine risk factor in all of this#I’m tired of second guessing myself#I’m tired of the system being unfair#and yet also recognize myself as privileged in that I can even try for disability in the first place#idk. this whole thing is not for the faint of heart man#it’s a dirty game
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You know what's fucked up? The trauma really doesn't go away.
#its so fucked up#im trying so hard to be present and exist. i guess#and its like it's seeping into everything. fucking everything#all those years i tried to repress it and blow it off as a teenager? didn't do a damn thing.#all those years being totally dissociated? yeah. theres a reason#because it is killing me now that my brain is trying to process it#years and years of backlogged trauma#the littlest things are burning me to nothing right now i dont really know how to explain it#constant dialogue in my head that wont ever shut up#I can't trust anyone and I feel like i dont even know how to act or what to say or do anymore#seeing it for what it is is soul crushing. it really is. and i just have to do it alone because no one understands#relearning the world at 20 years old while trying to wrap your head around where you come from and what you've been through#and how it seeps into every fucking thing#is not for the faint of heart#i really dont even know how im alive today#im still not over teenage me thinking that if i pretended i was over it that i would be#and that i would just act totally normal#whole time i was not acting normal nor over it
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i hate being asked my pronouns in public areas so much lol. leave me alone. yeah in that case id rather people just guessed.
#i know it does make it easier for trans people who are out to self identify themselves but tbh thats a status thats not for the faint of#heart anyway#like if you wanna be out you do kinda have to impose and emphasize your gender#does that make sense...#im just thinking about like teachers asking for students pronouns and stuff#i see trans people putting their pronouns in their name but i dont think you really need to do that with every single student if they are#obviously serving cis#but i GUESS it forces them to confront their gender and stuff#and im being whiny cos im caught in the middle and just want to exist in 'who give a shit' world
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Going to the cardiologists has paid off! Heart block showed up on the ECG, so I’ve got a heart monitor on for a month in addition to various testing to see what kind. I have no fucking idea if this is related to the AVRC/DGS2 shit or not! Appointment with the specialists for that is next week or so, so we’ll see then. I could go ahead and research now, but the more I am told about all of this, the less I give the slightest fuck about anything short of a solution.
But it is sort of funny, because one of the baby cousins has a complete heart block that her mother insisted was not genetic, and which I said:
I thought it was dumb to the point of flatly just banning discussion of it, so don’t I just have egg on my fucking face now?
Oh, well. Progress! And now I get to feel a little more ~*valid*~ in my general malaise. It can feel very silly to not manage the pancreatitis through horse-doses of tylenol and caffeinated beverages, when there are things that need to be done, but no amount of pop is going to wake me up if signals are just jumping fucking wires, haha.
Although high salinity can carry electrical currents, so maybe if I just waterboarded myself in very salty pop --
#d. rambles#there was a minorly funny moment in the office though#everyone reads 5'6" on my chart and assumes I am built normally!#and then they walk in and realise I am a fucking greyhound#the nurse was a little stressed out when she started explaining that you're supposed to move the heart monitor around post-charging in about#a one inch or half-inch diameter to avoid skin irritation!#I am not allowed to do that because it has One Spot it will work on me given the comparative sizes#because the device is big and my bones are fucking not I GUESS.#RIP my skin but god bless fucking zyrtec#the mysterious fainting waif disease
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The vagus nerve is so ridiculous because it wraps around your fucking aorta
This nerve could've come out any other way from your neck but chose the most inconvenient route possible.
The fact that there are so many hackable nervous feedback systems in the body is absurd. We can just be like "I want to feel something different now" and twitch the right muscle like switching modes on an old digital watch. Fucking ridiculous meat machine.
#i have swallow syncope bc my stupid nerve is sensitive to cold/carbonation/alcohol and I guess just like#gotta be mindful of it. it doesn't happen always but when it trips it stops my heart for a sec and my vision goes dark#i have thankfully never fainted
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.
Google ai how to get your partner to stop being mad at you for literally trying to keep them from having a heart attack
#this isn’t like a#oh eat healthier thing#this literally like a twenty something had a heart attack and died at his job and now he’s having recurring palpitations and almost fainting#and he’s just like#oh well can’t be a quitter so I guess I’ll die
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SUPERFAN! YANDERE BOY X POPSTAR! READER
WARNINGS: stalking, obsessiveness, breaking and entering, nsfw, masochist yandere, overstimulation, thigh riding, bondage, male masturbation, unhealthy behavior, average yandere tendencies, male yandere oc (he’s very pathetic and perverted, it’s giving “step on me” energy.) gender neutral reader
A/N: heyyyyy guess who isn’t dead.. i literally open tumblr every 3 minutes i just haven’t been posting. but i’m hereeeee lol. here’s a random yandere oc post, sorry it’s not mortal kombat. (tbh i have faded away from my mk obsession and now i am obsessed with until dawn, the quarry, tlou, and rdr.)
part two here!
superfan! yandere boy that buys all of your merchandise and streams your music on loop 24/7. even while he sleeps.
superfan! yandere boy that commissions artists to draw you and him together in different styles. some of them may depict him on a cute date with you, and some are more explicit and depict you stepping on him or choking him.
superfan! yandere boy that sneaks into your concerts if he didn’t manage to buy a ticket. no matter how strong your security is, he will always manage to find a way in and pretend he's just a regular fan.
superfan! yandere boy that will even sneak onto your house and film you through your window for hours, and then he would go home and touch himself to the footage of you.
superfan! yandere boy that wants to buy meet-and-greet tickets to see you, and be able to feel your presence up close and be able to speak to you personally. but as much as he craves your attention, he knows he wouldn't be able to handle it and would crumble immediately the second you look him in the eyes.
superfan! yandere boy that pays people to stalk you and take pictures of you when he can't do it himself. especially ones when you have a wardrobe malfunction.
superfan! yandere boy that goes to sleep every night fantasizing and dreaming of you. his particular favorite wet dream is of you letting him ride your thigh, grinding against your skin as a desperate attempt to feel any friction on his cock. your hands would roam around his body as he relishes in your attention, no matter where you touch him. any small nudge or brush against his skin would set his heart on fire and oh no where'd his pants go-
superfan! yandere boy that thinks you could do no wrong. you said something offensive and got yourself cancelled? he is your number one defender and would be threatening your naysayers on the internet. he would even go as far as to learn to hack just so he could delete their accounts.
superfan! yandere boy that almost WANTS to get caught. he knows he wouldn't be able to handle your attention, so he avoids it, but a part of him wants to get caught and outed for his perverted, stalker ways. he wants to hear you cuss him out and degrade him. he wants to see the disgusted look on your face as he is exposed for everything he did. spit on him, kick him, treat him like vermin, he doesn't mind. he gets off on the thought of you punishing him. he has a particular fantasy where your punishment for him is by tying him up and overstimulating him until he is crying, whimpering, and almost fainting. but he would still beg for more. no matter how long it lasts. it could be a week long and he still wouldn't be satisfied.
#yandere x reader#sub yandere#male yandere#gn reader#dom reader#yandere oc#yandere x you#soft yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x darling#yan oc#yan x reader#male yandere x reader#top reader#sub character#yandere requests#yandere#x reader#oc x reader#yandere smut#yandere oneshot#masochist yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere insert#yandere boys x popstar reader
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Hey so how do you think the bat boys would deal with having a s/o who doesn’t know they have hero identities yet and they find out s/o has some merch of their hero side at their house? S/o just thinks that heroes neat and uses one of the figures as a door stopper so the door does not slam when it’s windy and the windows open or paper weight for important paperwork so it doesn’t go flying everywhere?
♯SECRETS WE KEEP CLOSE TO OUR HEARTS
— gn!reader, kinda based it of the stuff i own !!
© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified
. . . BRUCE WAYNE !
IT STARTED OUT LIKE ANY OTHER MORNING AT WAYNE MANOR. the first rays of sunshine peeked through the heavy curtains of bruce’s grand bedroom, the golden light pooling across the floor. you shuffled out of bed, your feet cold against the hardwood, and grabbed the nearest hoodie to ward off the chill. you’ve never been a morning bird. but what would change it now?
unbeknownst to you, bruce was already awake, freshly showered and shaved, nursing a steaming cup of coffee alfred made for him in the kitchen. he was going over the morning’s headlines of the gotham gazette when he heard your light footsteps approaching. a faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. mornings like this—quiet, unhurried—were rare but cherished.
“morning,” you greeted, still groggy as you walked into the kitchen.
“morning,” he replied, glancing up from the paper. the casual warmth in his voice faltered the moment his eyes landed on your figure.
you were wearing that hoodie. black, oversized, and emblazoned with a bright yellow bat-symbol on the front. he recognized it immediately—he’d seen it on display in some tacky downtown gotham shop months ago. he’d even scoffed at the inaccuracies back then, not expecting you to own one, let alone wear it. and now you were draped in his merch.
bruce blinked, caught off guard, but quickly schooled his expression back into neutrality. “what are you wearing?” ( curiosity on the outside , panic on the inside ) . what if you knew of his nighttime activities?
glancing down at yourself and your choice of clothing, you tugged at the hem absentmindedly. “oh, this? yeah, i love it. it’s super comfy. got it on sale a while back.”
“you’re a fan of batman?”
you gave him a curious look. “who isn’t? he’s gotham’s hero. besides, the bat-symbol looks pretty cool.” you shrugged, heading to the coffee maker. “though i guess it’s a little weird wearing merch of someone who’s technically, like, a crime boss for good.”
bruce choked on his coffee, barely masking it with a cough. “crime boss?”
“well, think about it,” you teased, pouring yourself a mug of the dark liquid. “he’s got henchmen—like robin and nightwing—and a lair filled with gadgets. he’s just . . . on the good side.”
the batman fought the urge to laugh. he leaned back in his chair, observing you with a mix of affection and amusement. who knew he had such a lovie around his finger? “that’s one way to look at it,” he replied smoothly, though he couldn’t help but feel a small swell of pride.
you turned, leaning against the counter, and sipped your coffee. “why? you don’t like him?”
his brows arched, genuinely curious. “what makes you say that?”
“you’re awfully neutral about the guy for someone who lives in gotham. most people either think he’s amazing or a total menace. you’re, like, switzerland on batman,” you said, narrowing your eyes playfully.
“let’s just say . . . i have a unique perspective.”
. . . DICK GRAYSON !
IT WAS ONE OF THOSE LAZY AFTERNOONS WHERE THE TWO OF YOU HAD DECIDED TO STAY IN. the sun filtered through the curtains of your cozy apartment, casting warm, golden light across the room as you lay curled on the couch, scrolling through your phone, while dick was sprawled in an armchair across from you, pretending to do his own stuff at his phone but mostly watching you with a soft smile tugging at his lips.
everything was perfectly normal—until he noticed what you were wearing.
it was a t-shirt, oversized and clearly one of your go-to comfy options. but not just any shirt. emblazoned across the chest was the bold, angular symbol of nightwing, printed in that unmistakable electric blue. now that got his attention.
dick blinked, lowering the glowing screen slightly to get a better look at you. for a moment, he felt a mix of pride, amusement, and sheer panic wash over him. you had nightwing merch? did you know? were you teasing him? or had you just picked it up as a casual fan of blüdhaven’s vigilante? there were so many questions but so little answers.
“nice shirt,” he commented casually, though his voice had an edge of curiosity, asking you with saying the question out loud.
you glanced up, oblivious to his sudden attention. “oh, this?” you plucked at the hem and grinned. “yeah, i thought it was cool. i found it at this little street market the other day. plus, the guy’s kinda awesome, you know?”
he quirked a brow, trying not to look too amused. “kinda awesome?”
“okay, really awesome,” you gave in with a laugh. “i mean, he’s out there keeping blüdhaven from going completely off the rails. and unlike some other heroes, he doesn’t have a million-dollar budget or fancy gadgets. he just . . . handles it.”
your boyfriend leaned back in the plush chair, a smirk tugging at his lips. “sounds like you’re a pretty big fan.” talk about narcissism.
“well, yeah, who wouldn’t be? he’s smart, agile, and has a heart. plus, have you seen his—” you caught yourself, suddenly looking flustered and with a good reason. you were caught ranting to your boyfriend about nightwing.
“seen his what?” dick was intrigued even more now after your little slip up, leaning forward with his smirk deepening. oh, he was just starting.
you waved a hand dismissively, your cheeks flushing under his gaze. “nothing. forget i said anything.”
“uh-huh. sure. so, did you pick that shirt just because you’re a fan, or . . . ?”
you tilted your head, narrowing your eyes at his suspiciously amused tone. “what’s with the third degree, grayson? are you jealous or something?”
“me? jealous of a guy in spandex? never,” he replied with mock indignation. but the way his lips twitched betrayed his amusement—and the fact that he was having way too much fun with this.
“good,” you teased, leaning back into the pillows. “because if i ever run into him, i’ll totally make sure to tell him my boyfriend is completely secure and not at all threatened by a superhero.”
dick laughed, shaking his head a little. “oh, i’m sure he’d be very flattered to hear that.”
seeing you in his symbol was both endearing and a little surreal. part of him wanted to come clean right then and there, to tell you that the guy you admired so much was sitting right across from you, teasing you about your t-shirt. but for now, he decided to keep his secret.
still, as he watched you lounge in that nightwing tee, a soft warmth bloomed in his chest. if you only knew the truth, he had a feeling you’d still think he was kind of awesome—though he wasn’t sure you’d ever let him live down the spandex comments.
. . . JASON TODD !
IT WAS A BREEZY SATURDAY AFTERNOON, and the windows of your small apartment were wide open, letting the crisp, cool air in. papers were strewn across your desk as you worked on sorting through bills and notes. to keep the occasional gust from scattering everything, you’d grabbed the closest thing you could find—an action figure.
( not just any action figure, though. )
sitting proudly on top a stack of papers was a small, highly detailed replica of gotham’s infamous red hood, complete with his signature leather jacket, red helmet, and pistols. even the little red bat on his chest matched the original.
your boyfriend walked in, carrying takeout bags in both hands as he kicked the front door shut behind him, his boots making soft thuds against the floor. “babe, i got—” he froze mid-sentence when he spotted the figure perched on your desk. his eyes narrowed as he tilted his head, trying to process the absurdity of the situation.
no fucking way.
“is that . . . ?”
you glanced up briefly, barely registering his confusion. “huh?”
he set the bags down on the counter, crossed the room in a few strides, and picked up the small figurine. jason held it up, examining it with an almost comical mix of horror and amusement on his face.
“this,” he said, gesturing to the action figure like it had personally offended him, “is red hood merch.”
“yeah, and?” you replied nonchalantly, not looking up from your stack of papers.
“and?” he repeated, incredulous. “why do you even have this? do you collect vigilante merch or something?”
“no, i just saw it at some random shop a while ago. i thought it looked cool, so i bought it. plus, he’s kind of a badass.”
jason blinked, caught between pride and disbelief. “you think he’s a badass?”
“yeah, don’t you?” you finally looked up at him. lips curving into a teasing smile. “what, are you jealous of a figurine now?”
his jaw ticked, his expression unreadable as he turned the figure over in his hands. “jealous? no,” he muttered, though the tightness in his voice suggested otherwise. “i just think it’s funny that you’re using this to keep your papers from flying out the window. kind of disrespectful to the guy, don’t you think?”
you laughed. “oh, please. i’m sure gotham’s notorious anti-hero doesn’t care if his likeness is helping me with my paperwork. honestly, he should feel honored.”
“honored?” jason echoed, his lips twitching into a smirk despite himself. “yeah, i’m sure that’s exactly what he’d feel.”
you leaned back in your chair, watching him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what’s with the attitude? are you secretly a red hood fanboy or something?”
he rolled his eyes, setting the figure back down on your desk—albeit more carefully than he’d picked it up. “oh, yeah, totally. i’ve got a whole shrine dedicated to him at home.”
“hm, i bet you do,” you teased, grinning as you watched him retreat to unpack the takeout.
jason shook his head, his smirk lingering as he pulled out the food. internally, he was debating how to feel about the whole situation. on one hand, the fact that you admired red hood (even if you didn’t know it was him) was oddly flattering. on the other, the sight of his miniature self keeping your papers in line was downright hilarious.
as he set the table, he couldn’t resist throwing a final jab over his shoulder. “just saying, if you’re such a big fan, you should probably treat him with more respect. maybe let him do something cooler than babysit your bills.”
“oh, relax,” you shot back, laughing. “if he has a problem, he can come tell me himself.”
jason snorted, shaking his head as he brought the plates over. “careful what you wish for, babe.”
don’t be surprised when red hood comes knocking on your door, sweetheart!
. . . TIM DRAKE !
THE NIGHT WAS CLOSING IN and tim was stretched out on your couch in your apartment, his phone resting on his lap as we tiredly watched the tv. the soft hum of the crime documentary filled the background as you dug through your bag by the door, fishing around for your keys.
“found them!” you declared, holding them up triumphantly.
tim glanced over with a small smile tugging at his lips. you were adorable like this, excited over the smallest things. “that’s a lot of enthusiasm for finding keys.”
you walked over, jingling the keyring in the process. “it’s not about the keys, it’s about this little guy.”
you held up the ring, pointing specifically at a tiny lego figure hanging off of it. the miniature figure wore a domino mask and a red-and-black suit with a yellow “R” emblazoned on the chest—a miniature red robin.
your boyfriend froze on the spot. his brain seemed to hit a wall as he stared at the tiny version of himself dangling from your keys. the little figure swayed slightly, as though mocking him.
“ . . . where did you get that?”
“oh, isn’t it cute?” you beamed, completely unaware of his internal crisis. “i found it in one of those comic stores a while back. thought it’d make a perfect keychain. and it has! look at him, so heroic, guarding my keys.”
tim blinked, unsure whether to laugh or groan. heroic? lego him? guarding your keys?
“you’re a fan of red robin?” he asked carefully, tilting his head.
you shrugged, plopping down onto the spot on the couch beside him, immediately leaning into his warmth. “i mean, yeah. who isn’t? he’s kind of underrated, though, don’t you think?”
“underrated?”
“yeah!” you set the keys on the coffee table and turned to him. “i mean, everyone talks about batman and nightwing—and robin, obviously—but red robin? he’s like . . . the smart one. the strategic one. he deserves more credit, you know?”
tim raised an eyebrow, trying not to look too smug. “so, he’s your favorite, then?”
“mmm,” you pretended to consider. “he’s up there. though nightwing’s a close second. sorry, but the guy’s got moves.”
he snorted, leaning back against the couch. “can’t argue with that.”
“but red robin’s, like, the total package,” you continued, gesturing animatedly. “he’s clever, he’s got that whole detective thing going on, and he doesn’t get as much attention, so he’s probably not as cocky as some of the others.”
your hero boyfriend choked on his laugh. “not as cocky?”
“yeah, he strikes me as humble, you know?” you leaned forward, picking up the keychain again and holding it up like it was a sacred artifact. “plus, he’s got great taste in suits. red and black? iconic.”
tim bit the inside of his cheek, struggling to keep a straight face. “so you carry him around everywhere?”
“of course,” you said, grinning. “he’s like my little sidekick. protects my keys from danger. well, mostly from me losing them, but still.”
he shook his head, unable to hide his smile anymore. “you’re something else, you know that?”
part of him wanted to tell you right then and there that the figure you adored so much was literally him—but there was something too sweet, too hilarious about the situation to ruin it just yet. besides, you looked genuinely happy talking about red robin, and he kind of liked seeing himself through your eyes, even if you didn’t know it. he made a silent vow to tell you the truth soon. but for now, he let you keep your little lego protector, amused and endeared by the fact that you unknowingly carried a tiny version of him wherever you went.
#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne fluff#bruce wayne fic#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#dick grayson fic#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd fluff#jason todd fic#tim drake x you#tim drake x reader#tim drake fluff#tim drake fic#batman x you#batman x reader#red hood x you#red hood x reader#nightwing x you#nightwing x reader#red robin x you#red robin x reader#dcu x reader#dc comics x reader#dc x reader#reader insert#dc comics#batboys x reader
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ೃ⁀➷ pretty when you cry ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🦢 ꒱
╰┈➤ hwang in-ho x player!reader imagine
a/n: i would like to give a special thank you to @lumillsie for the layout of this post and for the filter used on the header! there is also a part one to this imagine, playing dangerous, a part two, do you think you’d kill for me, one day? a part three, ultraviolence, and a part four, shades of cool.
˚ ༘♡ hwang in-ho, the man you once knew as young-il, the man who betrayed you in the most loathsome way imaginable, had taken control of your recovery. he rarely left your side in the early days, overseeing every detail with the precision of someone who understood pain all too well. his compound, sprawling, isolated, and fortified, became your prison. it was a place of unsettling contrasts, sterile medical equipment juxtaposed with lavish decor, soft furnishings that did nothing to dull the edges of the sharp reality you now inhabited.
˚ ༘♡ you were angry, your heart a storm of rage and bitterness, each glance at him igniting the fire anew. though, in the quiet moments, when he checked your bandages or sat silently by your side as you drifted in and out of restless sleep, you found yourself conflicted. his hands, steady and careful, worked with a tenderness that unsettled you more than the betrayal ever had. the small comforts he offered, adjusting your pillows, bringing you tea, gnawed at the walls of your resolve.
˚ ༘♡ days blurred into one another. your questions about jung-bae and gi-hun were met with deflection, his answers vague and evasive. each time you pressed, his expression darkened slightly, as though the weight of those unanswered truths bore down on him as well. “you’ll know when the time is right,” he would say, his voice serene, leaving you fuming with frustration and sorrow.
˚ ༘♡ as the weeks passed, your leg began to heal. the searing pain dulled into an ache, and eventually, the ache faded altogether. though your body recovered, your mind remained caged by the stark truth of your reality. in-ho allowed you freedom within the confines of the compound, but every step you took was shadowed by masked guards, their presence an ever-looming reminder that escape was futile.
˚ ༘♡ you tried anyway.
˚ ༘♡ the night was quiet, the air thick with tension as you crept through the corridors, your heart pounding in your chest. every creak of the floorboards felt deafening, every shadow a potential threat. you had almost made it to what you thought was the outer gate when strong hands grabbed you, pulling you back with a force that sent terror crashing over you. the guards didn’t speak, their blank masks only adding to your dread as they dragged you back to your room, their grip unyielding.
˚ ༘♡ when in-ho appeared later, his expression was unreadable. he didn’t yell or chastise you. instead, he sat across from you, his gaze heavy with something you couldn’t name. “i can’t allow you to leave,” he said softly, his tone devoid of malice. it wasn’t a threat, but it felt worse. his disappointment lingered in the air, suffocating, and you hated the guilt that bloomed in your chest.
˚ ༘♡ time moved forward, and with it, your body healed. the ache in your knee, once sharp and consuming, faded into nothingness, replaced by the intensity of strength you hadn’t felt in weeks. you could walk without hesitation now, no longer second-guessing every step. yet the freedom of movement felt hollow within the compound’s imposing walls. they surrounded you, stark and vast, a constant reminder of your captivity.
˚ ༘♡ you sat on the edge of your bed, your fingers absentmindedly brushing over the faint scar peeking out from beneath the fabric of your clothing. the skin there was pale and slightly raised, a delicate line etched by pain and betrayal. you traced it with a mix of resignation and vexation, trying to reconcile the life you had before with the one you were living now.
˚ ༘♡ the sound of the door opening pulled you from your thoughts. you glanced up to see in-ho stepping inside, his presence filling the room with an air of quiet authority. he no longer wore the faceless mask that had once concealed him, his features open and bare. though his expression was calm, the weight of unspoken words seemed to settle between you, causing the air to feel suffocating.
˚ ༘♡ “would you like to have dinner with me?” he asked. his voice was measured, each word chosen carefully. though his tone was steady, there was an undercurrent of uncertainty, as if he was bracing himself for rejection. it wasn’t a demand, nor was it an expectation, it felt almost… tentative.
˚ ༘♡ you hesitated, your gaze dropping to your hands resting in your lap. your anger hadn’t disappeared, it still lingered, simmering just beneath the surface, but it had softened with time, dulled by the care he had shown you. despite everything, despite the betrayal that still stung, he had been there, ensuring your recovery, tending to you with a patience you hadn’t expected.
˚ ༘♡ “i don’t think so,” you said at last, your tone gentle yet cautious. you weren’t trying to hurt him, though the words clearly did. you saw it in the way his face shifted, the faintest flicker of something vulnerable crossing his features before he composed himself once more.
˚ ༘♡ he didn’t leave. instead, he lingered by the door, his hands clasped loosely in front of him. “you need to eat,” he said quietly. his voice lacked its usual authority, replaced instead by something softer, something that bordered on worry.
˚ ༘♡ you turned your gaze toward the window, your focus slipping to the darkened landscape outside. the compound stretched endlessly into the night, its shadowy corners likely crawling with guards you couldn’t see but knew were there. “i’ll eat later,” you replied, the words barely above a murmur. they lacked bitterness, though the weight of unspoken emotion hung in the room.
˚ ༘♡ the silence that followed was thick and suffocating. you expected him to retreat, to leave you to your solitude, but he didn’t move. his presence remained, steadfast and unwavering, as if he refused to let the distance between you grow any wider.
˚ ༘♡ and though you wouldn’t admit it, even to yourself, his refusal to leave made something in your chest ache. it wasn’t anger, or resentment, or even guilt, it was something far more complicated, something you weren’t ready to confront.
˚ ༘♡ you sat on the floor of your room, your legs pulled close to your chest, trembling as grief consumed you. the weight of unanswered questions bore down on you, suffocating and relentless. your heart ached for the friends you’d lost in the chaos of the games, dae-ho, jun-hee, jung-bae, gi-hun, and the others whose faces haunted your dreams. they deserved more than silence. they deserved answers.
˚ ༘♡ tears spilled freely down your cheeks as you pressed your palms into your eyes, your breath hitching with every sob that wracked your chest. the quiet elegance of the room around you only deepened the pain, its pristine luxury a cruel reminder of the blood and suffering you’d endured to end up here. “please,” you whispered, your voice breaking under the weight of the plea. “tell me… tell me what happened to them.”
˚ ༘♡ in ho’s footsteps were slow, deliberate, as he crossed the room to where you sat. you didn’t meet his gaze, you couldn’t. instead, you gripped your knees tighter, shaking your head as the words spilled from your lips in a broken stream. “where are they? are they alive? do they even… do they even have a chance?”
˚ ༘♡ he crouched in front of you, his movements calm but hesitant, as though he feared his presence might shatter you further. his hands hovered near yours, unsure whether to reach out. “i can’t give you the answers you’re looking for,” he said quietly, his tone soft yet somehow unyielding.
˚ ༘♡ “why?” you choked out, anger flaring through the grief as your head snapped up to meet his gaze. “why can’t you? they’re my friends, they…” your voice cracked, and the rest of the sentence dissolved into tears.
˚ ༘♡ he didn’t respond, his silence infuriating and devastating all at once. the patience in his expression was unbearable, as though he thought his stillness could soothe the storm inside you.
˚ ༘♡ your cries grew louder, your sobs echoing in the quiet room as you pounded a fist weakly against his chest. “please,” you begged, the word almost unintelligible through your tears. “don’t do this to me. i need to know.”
˚ ༘♡ still, he said nothing. instead, his arms encircled you, pulling you gently but firmly into his embrace. his warmth was immediate, his presence solid and unyielding. he rested his chin lightly against your hair, his grip tightening as though he feared you might slip away entirely. “shh,” he murmured, his breath warm against your temple. “i’m here.”
˚ ༘♡ you shoved him away with what strength you had, though it was feeble compared to his hold. “don’t,” you spat, your voice raw with anger and anguish. “don’t comfort me when you’re the reason they’re gone.”
˚ ༘♡ his hands settled firmly on your shoulders, his grip rigid yet careful, as though he feared hurting you but refused to let you slip away. the strength in his touch sent a wave of frustration through you, fueling a final attempt to twist out of his hold. his chest pressed against yours as he pulled you closer, his body a barrier against your escape.
˚ ༘♡ “let me go,” you demanded, your voice shaking with the effort to sound stronger than you felt. but the words wavered, your conviction cracking under the weight of exhaustion that had crept into your limbs.
˚ ༘♡ “no,” he replied, his tone low but resolute, the firmness in his voice more unnerving than anger would have been. “you need me,” he added, quieter now, his words tinged with a gentleness that made your heart clench. “even if you don’t want to admit it.”
˚ ༘♡ your struggles faltered, the tension in your body draining as the fight ebbed away. you sagged against him, your head dropping slightly, your breathing uneven and strained. his embrace shifted, becoming something softer, something that felt almost protective. his arms wrapped around you fully now, holding you close as though shielding you from a world you didn’t even recognize anymore.
˚ ༘♡ the warmth of his breath brushed against your temple, and you froze as his lips pressed softly to your cheek. the kiss wasn’t meant to persuade or plead; it was a silent confession, an unspoken attempt to reach past your anger.
˚ ༘♡ “i love you,” he murmured, so quietly you might have thought you imagined it if his voice hadn’t carried the weight of those words so deeply.
˚ ༘♡ your entire body stiffened. the confession hit you harder than you could have anticipated, settling heavily in your chest. the sincerity in his voice wrapped around you, tugging at emotions you didn’t want to feel. your throat tightened painfully, but no words came. they wouldn’t. you couldn’t make yourself respond, couldn’t allow yourself to validate the truth in what he said.
˚ ༘♡ instead, silence fell between you, louder and more damning than anything you could have said aloud. his arms didn’t loosen their hold, his face remaining close to yours, his breath steady against your skin.
˚ ༘♡ then, as if sensing your hesitation wasn’t refusal, he leaned in. his lips met yours with a deliberate slowness, a patience that felt entirely at odds with the world he had dragged you into. the kiss was tender, yet there was an unmistakable urgency in the way he moved, as though he needed you to feel the emotions he couldn’t put into words.
˚ ༘♡ you wanted to push him away, wanted to scream that he had no right to this moment, no right to you. but your body betrayed you, your lips trembling as they parted against his. the flood of emotions, anger, despair, confusion, and something dangerously close to longing, surged through you all at once, making it impossible to pull away.
˚ ༘♡ when the kiss broke, your breath came in shallow bursts, your heart pounding erratically in your chest. his hands moved to cup your face, his thumbs brushing against your damp cheeks as his gaze searched yours.
˚ ༘♡ “will you ever let me go?” you asked, the words spilling out before you had a chance to stop them. your voice was fragile, the question carrying all the weight of the fear and longing tangled inside you.
˚ ༘♡ his expression softened, the sharpness of his features dimmed by the flicker of something raw in his eyes. his hands didn’t move, his hold on you steady but not forceful. “i can’t,” he admitted, the words barely above a whisper. his voice cracked slightly, betraying the struggle beneath his calm exterior. “not in my heart.”
˚ ༘♡ the pang in your chest deepened, and the next question came almost involuntarily, your voice trembling under the strain. “will you keep doing this? will you keep the games going?”
˚ ༘♡ his face darkened, but not in anger. it was a shadow of something more potent, regret, or perhaps inevitability. he lowered his head slightly, his forehead close to brushing yours, his words deliberate and gentle. “yes,” he said, the softness of his tone cutting deeper than any cruelty could have. “i have to. one day, you’ll understand why.”
˚ ༘♡ the finality in his voice was suffocating. you stared at him, your tears still falling as you searched his face for any trace of doubt, for even the smallest crack in his conviction. his gaze remained stable, his eyes holding nothing but certainty, an unshakable belief in a path you couldn’t follow.
˚ ༘♡ the silence that followed wasn’t empty, it was heavy, filled with the unsaid words that hung between you. and as his arms tightened around you again, pulling you close to his chest, you felt the hollowness of his words settle into your own heart. hwang in-ho was a man who loved you, but he was also a man you could never truly understand.
a/n: part five!!! let me know if you have any requests and your thoughts on the story so far!!🤍
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