#not evil anymore; I want to be loved now... evil again // self.

[love4ng1e]

⭑.ᐟ THE 3D IS NOT YOUR ENEMY.

ᥫ᭡. There is no enemy.

Let’s get something clear: You are not in a war with reality.

Not with the 3d, not with your past, not with “old thoughts,” not even with your own mind.

When you believe you're fighting something outside of yourself, you're just reinforcing the illusion that you're not in full control. But you are.

You always have been.

ᥫ᭡. The 3d is just a mirror.

You guys need to stop villainizing the 3d. It’s not evil. It’s not “out to get you.” It’s not trying to block your manifestations.

The 3d is just a neutral reflection of your dominant inner state. Your beliefs, assumptions, and identity.

It doesn’t have opinions. It doesn’t “test” you.

It’s not trying to punish you or slow you down.

If anything, it’s a tool. A reflection. An echo. If you want to change the echo, change the shout.

ᥫ᭡. You can't "lose" in a reality you create.

“It’s not working.”

“The 3d is mocking me.”

“Why is this happening if I’m affirming so hard?”

“What am I doing wrong?”

You are not doing anything wrong.

The only “wrong��� thing is believing the 3d has more power than you.

Because guess what? You are the source.

Not your affirmations.

Not your techniques.

Not your vision board.

YOU. Your self-concept. Your assumptions. Your identity.

That’s what gets pushed out. That’s what’s running the show.

ᥫ᭡. But what if the 3d hurts ?

First of all, you’re allowed to feel.

You’re not weak for having emotions or reactions.

But don’t build a home in that reaction. Don’t unpack your bags and live in lack.

Feel it then recenter yourself in the truth:

I am the operant power.

Nothing can stop what I’ve claimed as mine.

Even when it hurts, even when it feels the opposite, the 3d can only reflect what you persist in. So persist in the truth. Not the illusion.

ᥫ᭡. What if you loved the 3d instead ?

I know that sounds weird. But imagine this:

Instead of waking up dreading what might trigger you…

Instead of spiraling every time something "wrong" shows up…

What if you said:

“Thank you, 3d, for showing me my past thoughts. Now I know what to replace.”

"Thank you, 3d, for letting me see how powerful my beliefs really are.”

"Thank you, 3d, but I’m not subscribing to this version anymore.”

You don't need to fight your current reality. You just need to choose again. From within.

ᥫ᭡. You won the game before it started.

There is no enemy because there is no competition.

There’s no “if.” No “hopefully.” No waiting list.

Once you’ve claimed it in your inner world, it’s DONE.

That’s the law. That’s the assumption. That’s the shift.

Everything else is just time doing what time does: Catch up.

So stop reacting to shadows. Stop fearing reflections. Stop waiting for a reality to change before you decide who you are.

You are it already.

Your job is to know, persist, and relax into the version of you where it’s already yours.

Because that version exists. Right now. And the 3d is just getting the memo.

NOTHING CAN EVER BE AGAINST YOU, BUT YOURSELF. - 𝜗𝜚

[loderlied]

if i started about the recent episodes of doctor who i’d never finish. what a fucking cruel joke to overshadow the first black doctor’s episode with Fan Favourite White Man and then overshadow his regeneration episode with Fan Favourite White Woman

[plumipal]

Daughter of evil Vil

Once again a completely self indulgent post, sorry for the delay got a 40° fever and fell like 3 times during the making of this BUT IM FINE NOW! These yans really are out to kill me after all I've put em though lmfao

So imagine, somewhere after chap 5 where vil and you have gotten to know eachother way better since the VDC. You're all and up thinking about the music you loved back from your own home, wishing you just could hear it once again. You basically had everything memorised, but it's not just the same!!

So, taking the matter into your own hands, you contact vil about wanting to stage a musical and if he perhaps wanted to be the "main villian" (aka both the main character and your favorite character). Vil, for once, isn't upset about being the main villain, on the contrary he's ecstatic! He can barely keep his mask up as he tells you that he would LOVE more than ANYTHING to be Riliane...

You're quick to thank him and hug him, him of course savoring every second of it. You're quick to get to work to writing the script/lyrics from memory along with sewing vils dress for him (it's like several dates over at ramshackle for him because he gets to be in such close vicinity with you alone.

The play is an absolute success, vil gives his absolute ALL, just for you, and ONLY for you. He doesn't cate who else is seeing the damn musical, all he cares about at this point is your gave on him and your approval.

He feels your gaze on him for the entirety, too blissful about being the center of your attention to even hold up his social persona incase anyone is filming after the musical. He just can't function correctly when you look at him, when you smile at him, when you do anything really. He's smitten, down bad, in love and everything inbetween.

Ace and Deuce can't stand how Vil is blatantly flirting with you, resulting in them trying to drag you away after the show (only to be stopped by vil, he has charmed you during this performance, and of course he shows in that he has a gift for you back at his dorm.

The gift being smothering you in his love and kisses, almost some sort of cuteness aggression as he can't stop himself. The blood sweat an tears you put into this and how you chose him to be the main character almost moved him to tears after all, you had to be rewarded <3

Not long after the musical, people had sent their gossip photos around to several accounts on magicam as to get some juicy drama our of the megastar. But, at this point, vil is too smitten with you to even care about his social status anymore. He doesn't care about magicam or being better than niege liek he used to. He only cares about you and your approval.

Still a short post, but I hope you all enjoy! I love love LOVE the musical, and recommend yall give it a litsen! The evillious chronicles on YouTube, especially the newer one (Karen aka the girl who plays riliane is just so much more vil coded imo). Anyway hope yall enjoy :P

Link to the song in question:

[queerdeans]

i love how jack came into the world and it was like a) your mom is dead and died in childbirth and she loved you and believed in your power to be good and b) your dad is actual lucifer like from the bible.

and now there are two (2) adults in your life, neither of whom are your biological parents, but that's okay because this is the family-don't-end-in-blood show. but one of the adults is trying to work through his own self-worth issues when it comes to being Tainted By Lucifer™ and the other one was widowed in the exact hour of your birth. neither of those things really has to do with you but they're both being projected onto you and you're also like, a day old.

and the only person who was also on your side when you were in utero is dead and happens to be the lover of the widower who now hates you because of what you represent, which is a Whole Other Thing and you don't even really get why he hates you to be honest because again, you're new here and you're just finding out about good and evil as concepts at all.

so you're now stuck very much in the middle of a complicated and fucked-up family dynamic that is not yours because you just got here and caretakers one and two are arguing about such subjects as 'should you be killed at the first opportunity' and it seems like they're both kind of bringing their own baggage into the situation. the mother-brother is like 'i'm tired of being the caretaker for everyone' and the son-brother is like 'that's too damn bad' because if mother-brother stops being the caretaker then what the hell will come of it all? and there's just a whoooole lot of history you don't even understand.

then fortunately the dead lover guy comes back and you maybe made that happen, so mother-brother guy doesn't want to kill you anymore, and you also now have someone in your life who actually wanted to care for you the whole time. yay! but you're also not sure if you want to be taken care of, or how someone would go about it. and he doesn't seem to be sure either. everyone here was classmates at the school of absent fathers, by the way.

and then enters the mother-mother. not your dead mother, but she's someone's dead mother. she haunts everything and the idea of her doesn't match up to the shape of her and you're starting to kind of get the fucked-up family dynamic you've been dropped into. but here's a mom! and how nice is that? you wanted a mom and here one is. only she's not really your mom and she doesn't really want to be a mom but she does love you and she turns out to have a more motherly relationship with you than she does with either of her real sons. and that's nice, but there's also maybe resentment from those sons, or maybe just one of them, because the other one had a mother, and it happened to be his brother.

and all of this happens within the first like six months of your life and we don't even have time to address when you actually meet your father satan ✌️

[cyripticchronicler]

Healing

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You had spent years in pain and agony, wanting nothing more than to go home to your mate. But now that you are home, you're unsure if he still loves you.

TW: Torture, wanting to die, potential SA, depression, crying, short mention of needles and blood.

A/N: This isn't my best work ngl but I was malaptive daydreaming about it this morning and figured I should make it into a fic! It's also my first Azriel/ACOTAR fanfic which is crazy! I love this dude and I'm definitely going to write about him more <3 It's a short fic but I hope you still like it!!

Masterlist

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ten years. You’d been gone ten years. 

Ten years of excruciating torture. Of being poked by needles. Touched by strangers. 

You’d always loved humans. You found them fascinating and tried to learn as much about them. But they wanted to know about fae as much as you did humans. 

You were sent on a task by Rhysand. It was simple; go to the human lands and see if it’s possible to form an alliance with them in the future. Everything was going smoothly until you were taken by an older man who spent his life researching fae and was determined to find the answers to his curiosity. He was a cruel, evil man. He took away your life. Your freedom.

You used to be happy. A blaze of sunshine that not even the biggest clouds could cover. And you had many reasons to be that way, the mating bond between you and Azriel had snapped; not yet accepted but you had planned to do it soon. You had a place in the IC. You worked hard for your court and created a home for yourself in Velaris. 

If you had known how quickly everything could be taken from you, you would have worked harder to protect it. 

You had almost given up, almost begged the man who hurt you to finish you off. To kill you. But the Gods weren't finished with you, and, no matter how much you wanted to die, you were found before you could. You were thankful, of course, but, despite being home with your loved ones once again, it doesn’t remove the long-lasting memories of agony and longing. 

Azriel hadn’t stopped looking for you ever since you went missing. While you spent ten years being tortured, he spent those years in his own sick form of torment. Each night he was plagued with dreams of you and each day he was troubled with worries of how you were doing and where you were. It was a never-ending cycle of you. 

When he found you, bound in chains with blood running down your cheek, he swears his heart stopped. You were back in his arms, wrapped around you so gently like you were made of glass. You’d melted into his warm body, tears freely falling down your scarred cheeks as you quietly sobbed. 

That was the only time you allowed yourself to cry in front of him. In front of anyone, for that matter. You didn’t want to worry anyone with your problems. They’d already spent years worrying about you, they shouldn’t have to anymore. So you jumped straight into your old self. You were talkative, made friends with Feyre and the other Archerchon sisters, and smiled and laughed when expected to. 

Despite your happy facade, Azriel hasn’t done more than hug you. He’s slept in the guest bedroom in The House of Wind while you’ve stolen his bed, his silk sheets nice and familiar. You’re unsure how to approach him. Does he still want to be with you? You’ve seen how he looks at Elain, eyes soft and caring. 

Ten years is a long time. And you’re worried that during that long time, he’s moved on. Maybe that's why you’re trying to act like yourself again. If he sees that you’re the same as you were before when he loved you, he’d love you again.

Your last straw was a month after you came home. All the tears you’d been holding back, and the emotions you’ve ignored overflowing one random night. You were lounging in the living room with Elain, Nesta and Feyre. You were nestled in an armchair, arms wrapped around your knees that are pressed up against your chest. 

You’ve already zoned out of the conversation, eyes glazing over as you stare at your frail hands, still so thin and shaky, like you never left that place. You only tune back into the conversation when a certain someone mutters your mate's name. “Azriel is a really good kisser. I bet he’s better than Rhys and Cassians,” Elain states casually, as though this was a normal thing to be talking about. Feyre and Nesta immediately jump in and defend their mate's skills but you’re already standing. 

Tears blur your vision, unable to be stopped with your usual pinch on your arm. Your fears had come true; Azriel, your mate, your love, had moved on. “Honey?” Your walk to the door abruptly stops, your lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes downcast. “Hey,” You’re embarrassed by the way your voice cracks. 

Azriels scarred hand tentatively reaches up to grip your shoulder, his other hand gently gripping your chin. He tilts your face, forcing your eyes to meet his own, warm caramel making your heart melt. “What’s wrong?” You shake your head moving away and wiping the tears from your face. “Nothing. I’m going for a walk.” He doesn’t respond and you take it as your sign to leave, hands eagerly reaching for the door handle as you escape into the chill night. 

Azriels footsteps were silent, a habit from being the court’s spymaster for centuries. His silence was why you didn’t notice him, loud sobs breaking free since you figured you were alone. By the time he makes himself known, your loud sobs have quieted to quickly falling tears and you’ve found yourself a bench to sit on and think. 

You let out a squeak when he sits beside you, jumping up from your sitting position. You whip your head around, letting out a sigh when you notice the familiar face. “You can’t just sneak up on me,” You mutter, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as you sit again. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispers genuinely, eager eyes tracking your every movement. “We need to talk.” You sigh, slumping against the bench as your heart beats faster. “Do we have to?” You’d rather live in oblivion than hear what he has to say. He’s going to tell you he’s in love with Elain and that he can’t be with you. Then you’re going to have no one and you’ll end up alone and sad forever-

“-I’ve been trying to give you space. To let you process what happened. But I don’t think you are processing things, honey.” He sighs, hand reaching up to rub at the back of your neck. “I want to be there for you. I’m your mate and I love you. Let me in.” His eyes are pleading, begging. 

Your breathing turns ragged, heart pounding in your chest. “Don’t-” You shake your head, turning away from his face. “Don’t lie to me.” You shrug his hand off your shoulders and scoot further down the bench but he doesn’t let you go far, hands holding your face as he leans into you, desperate. “I’m not lying to you, baby. Why do you think I’m lying to you?”

“B-because Elain-” You can’t finish your sentence, breaking into desperate sobs before his eyes. His eyes are knowing, laced with guilt as he pulls you into his chest. “I was planning to talk to you about this when you were feeling a bit better.” He ensures your eyes are staring into his when he speaks. “Elain and I kissed once. A year ago. I was- Gods I was so lonely without you and I was drunk and she was there. I swear when I squinted she looked like you. But as soon as I kissed her I regretted it immediately.”

He’s desperate for you to understand, voice pleading as he as he grips your face tighter. Tighter but never hurtful. “You are it for me, baby. I don’t want anybody else. I’d rather spend hundreds of years alone than be with someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” You whisper, hanging your head in shame. He’s quick to calm your worries with another hug. “Don’t be sorry. I should have talked to you about it sooner.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding your face. “I am sorry, though. I should have talked to you sooner. I just-” You’re sick of the way your voice thickens with tears. You’re sick of crying.

“I’m so tired.” You break, pulling him tighter against you. He hugs you just as tight, not wanting to let you go. “I want to be myself again. I want to be happy again but I’ve changed, and I’m scared you’re not going to like who I become.” You spill all your deepest worries, holding onto the lightness in your chest that you’re afraid won’t last long.

His breath fans your ear, a warmth that makes you shiver. “I’ve never expected you to stay the same. Even before you were taken. You’re changing but I’m changing too. That’s okay. You’re okay.” You pull away with a shaking sigh, hands moving to wipe your tears but Azriel pulls them into his own. 

His soft lips kiss your forehead, evoking another shaking breath. His lips then travel to your cheek, hot breath fanning against your flushed skin. As he places a kiss on your other cheek you can’t help the soft smile that lights up your face. Excruciatingly slowly, his lips graze down your cheek and to your jaw, light kisses making your skin heat.

He pulls away ever so slightly, breath fanning across your lips. He stays still, eyes eager as he waits for your response. He doesn’t have to wait long, your hands moving up to fist his hair. You quite practically yank him to you, lips greedily searching for his.

The kiss is warm and gentle and perfect. Love pours through him with each touch of your lip and swipe of his tongue against yours. You haven’t felt this loved in so long. So cared for. You keep him close, each touch mending the frail cracks in your heart.

“I love you,” you whisper, smiling your first genuine smile in years. “I love you, too. I always will.” Butterflies fluttering in your stomach, a sense of comfort washes over you. 

You know you’re not okay. But for now, you feel like you are. And that one moment, spent cuddled up to Azriel while the stars glisten down on you, gives you faith that you’ll be okay one day. As long as you have Azriel on your side.

[reidrum]

good night moon | s.r

A/N: hi again ! this one is deeply self indulgent i fear but who cares i hope you like it as much as i do <3 ps let me know what kinda fics i should write next !!

cw: spencer reid x bau!reader, cm type violence, reader is afab but this only is referred to when mentioning reader is a daughter, sad thoughts, hurt/comfort, talks about nightmares, spencer just wants to take care you gdm it why won’t you let him

wc: 2.4k

_______________________________________________

trudging up the stairs of the bullpen, you tried your best to use whatever sense you had left to beeline to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. thank god the bau had minimal reflective surfaces because you’re sure you look like the evil old lady from snow white. that was just, your opinion of course. to everyone else you looked fine.

fine was so subjective. what did these fuckers know about being fine? they weren’t the ones on the mission. they don’t know what you saw, how you did nothing, how you couldn’t do anything.

“FBI hands up!” you yell holding your gun and flashlight at the unsub. he’s holding the victim at knifepoint, a twelve year old girl who reminded you too much of yourself.

this unsub’s MO was kidnapping eldest daughters of families that had sons as well, because he believed the son should be the eldest child with the most responsibility and that the daughters were only there to create more babies. the team had deduced that he was the youngest child to an older sister who he felt had too much control over him, combined with his fascination with the perfect nuclear family, it slowly turned him into a sociopathic killer.

“come any closer and i’ll slit her throat!” the unsub bellowed, getting dangerously close to her carotid artery.

“you don’t wanna do that, man,” derek says behind you, “just put the knife down and we can talk.”

“there’s nothing left to talk anymore! i’m already going to prison. there’s no point.”

you called out the unsub’s name, “i know how you’re feeling, i have a younger brother too and he feels the same way you do sometimes. what your sister did to you was not okay, but not all sisters are like that. we just want to care for our family. let them have the chance to be the big sister you wished for.”

the unsub seemed to contemplate your words for a minute, then looks up at you with eyes devoid of any light, “then this one is dedicated to you, agent.” and he drags the knife across her neck leaving waterfalls of blood coming out.

you’re not really sure what happened next. a gun went off, presumably derek’s, to kill the unsub. and then it was you screaming as you rushed to the young girl to try and stop her bleeding, but it was no use. the cut was deep enough to nick that damn carotid and all you could do was hold her in her last moments.

“te- tell my family i love them, and that i’m sorry.” the young girl spurts out so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

“no sweet girl, don’t be sorry,” you say through hiccuped cries, “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”

the last thing you remember was feeling strong hands carrying you out of the building. you couldn’t hear much, the sound of your wails pretty much masked anything in a five mile radius. you could taste the iron lingering in your mouth from biting your lip too hard and desperately collecting the salty tears and sweat trickling down your face. at first you smelled smoke and dust, most likely from being in the cave where the unsub was. but as you were being dragged away from the crime scene you were influxxed with a musky scent, and a hint of vanilla with that fresh laundry smell. spencer. the last thing you see are his worried little brown eyes staring down at you before everything goes dark.

that was monday. it is now thursday. the case had wrapped up, the unsub was dead the families were notified and now you all were in the office doing your paperwork for the case.

and all of you were doing fine, right? everyone else had already coped and processed the case, already stepping back into their normal life routines. but you, you couldn’t have it that easy, but god you wish you did.

since that day, you’d been holing up in your apartment with all the lights turned on. you sat in your living room, eating a bowl of fruit loops and watching bluey, because listen it’s a great show and we should acknowledge it. you cry out loud seeing bluey care for her little sister bingo, and it brings you back to that dusty cave and the bloodied hands.

you could feel sleep creeping up on you, yet you subconsciously found a way to push bedtime by doing menial tasks like cleaning, extra long skincare, watching a movie. when you ran out of things to do, you entered your room and just stared at your bed. how were you supposed to admit to yourself that the horror isn’t in the movie you just watched where the creepy demons kill everyone, but it’s what is waiting for you behind closed eyelids.

so the only logical solution was to just, not sleep. you whipped out every trick in the book to stay awake for as long as you could— energy drinks, coffee, splashing cold water, anything so you wouldn’t have to reface your plagued memories.

spencer observed you from a distance. he watched as you got coffee a whopping three times before 10am, you picking at your skin, not to mention the bags growing under your eyes. it was then he formed a hypothesis, he was a scientist after all. that you simply were not sleeping because of the case. it was much less a hypothesis and more of a fact because he knew exactly what it was upon first sight of you, hell he invented the sleep avoidance look.

and as the inventor it meant he knew the feeling more intimately than he would like to admit. spencer knew what it felt like to be debilitated by the confines of your brain, holding onto shreds of memories you know are not worth remembering but have somehow marked their territory anyway. and everyone coped differently, for spencer he isolated himself for days and then threw himself into work. for you? well, that was the next part of spencer’s experiment.

spencer approaches you in the kitchen as you’re pouring your fourth cup before noon, “hi.”

“hi.”

“how are you? feels like we haven’t talked in a bit.”

“i’m good, sorry i’ve just been. busy.”

spencer frowned internally, he knew you weren’t doing a single thing but working at the office. “are you okay? do you want to talk about last week?”

you cut him off abruptly and start walking out, “i really have to finish these reports spence, talk to you later.”

spencer knew better, he should give you space to cope by yourself. you were an adult, you can take care of yourself. but you shouldn’t have to, he thinks. spencer still tells himself he knows better as he’s waiting on your doorstep that night, about to the rapp the door.

after a minute of no answer he knocks again this time calling your name through the door, “will you let me in please? i want to show you something.”

still nothing. he continues, “i know what you’re feeling, and i want to help, please.”

he almost gives up and turns around when he hears the turn of a lock and slight creek of the door opening to see you in all your beautiful glory.

now you, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes. avengers pj shorts with a baggy uni t shirt, hair flying in any direction, and a look that spencer could only describe as grief. but god if you weren’t the most beautiful human he’d seen in his life, he’d be lying.

you were coming up on day 3? or was it 4? of no sleep. it’s not like you were not sleeping at all you took little 30 minute naps each day, enough to get you some shut eye but not enough to make it your rem stage of sleep.

spencer speaks again, “can i come in?” you nod silently and open the door wider for him to step in. he removes his shoes and it’s then you notice a big ole tote bag he’s lugging to your living room.

“what’s in the bag?”

“ah, come sit. i brought magical things.” he smiles playfully.

you shuffle over to sit a seat’s cushion away from him and watch as he starts pulling item by item from his mary poppins bag.

candles, essential oils, books, but specifically romance novels with the silly cartoon covers that he swears aren’t real books but you argue with him until he concedes, melatonin gummies, pillow sleep spray, and one more item that he’s holding onto for what seems to be dramatic effect. you’re not amused.

“and the piece de resistance,” he presents the last item, and you look confused for a second, until you recognize the item in front of you and immediately start tearing up. in his hands is a grogu weighted stuffed animal that he holds out for you to take. “i know you’re not sleeping. it happened to me when, you know. i figured it would be helpful if you had someone who could empathize how you’re feeling. and because you’re my best friend and i care about you.”

your bottom lip trembles, and you feel the ice block you’ve kept yourself in this past week start to melt uncontrollably. “spence…” you breathe out so quietly. he did all this? for you? doctor spencer reid went out to the store, and bought a grogu stuffed animal for you to cuddle at night to ease your loneliness?

the concept of being taken care of was so foreign to you, as the eldest daughter in your family it was always you taking care of others and making sure everyone was okay. but rarely did anyone check on you, how you were holding up. and you had learned to cope by yourself, to handle the big emotions by yourself, but for once, someone was willing to take all that weight off your shoulders and let you breathe. and god, did it feel so cathartic you could burst out in sobs.

so you did.

“hey,” he says scooting closer to you so he can scoop you into his chest, “was that a lot? penelope said i’d probably overwhelm you but all of the things i brought are scientifically proven sleep additives-“

“no i just, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you whimper.

spencer’s eyes soften, “you deserve it. what happened last week… was hard. i just wanted to help.”

“thank you,” he hears a muffled response and rubs his hands affectionately down your back, “damn, all this crying is making me so tired.”

“see! the magic of the poppins bag.” he chuckles. you laugh too. spencer thinks all the flowers in a mile radius just bloomed.

“it’s just,” you start out, nuzzling into his chest deeper, “the second i close my eyes and dream, i see her. and how i couldn’t save her. and how the others i couldn’t save either.” you feel your chest seizing up again.

“okay well hey, hey. you did what you were trained to do. any other agent in your position would’ve tried talking him down the way you did. and your personal story gave you an advantage that no one else would’ve had. statistically speaking, you were the best chance at getting through to him. yeah it didn’t work, but it wouldn’t be probability if it always worked,” he cradles your face in his big hands, “we’re all so proud of you, you know. rossi’s waiting for you to be back on your feet so he can host pasta night at his hou- sorry his mansion again.”

spencer looks down at you properly to your tear stained cheeks and brushes your hair back. he sees the pain and tiredness fighting behind your eyes and asks softly, “what do you need right now?”

“i’m tired.” you lament.

“then lets go sleep.”

“i can’t.”

“why not?”

“im scared.”

“well that’s why i brought the stuff silly goose,” he taps your nose, “come on, let’s go set it up.”

spencer brings all the sleep aids to your room and sets them up appropriately, even plugging in your sunrise lamp to help with the ambient lighting. the only thing left to do is for you to get into your bed.

you both stand on opposite sides of your bed, and he’s waiting for you to get in so can tuck you in. you hesitate and look up at him with the same worried eyes he saw all those days ago.

“could you stay for bit?”

“i can stay for some time if you want” you both speak at the same time. you giggle again, spencer thinks an angel got its wings.

thank god he wore sweats and a comfy t shirt he thinks. he slid in under the blanket and holds it open for you to come in, “come on, you’re missing the cuddle party with grogu and i!” you beam widely and finally sink into your bed.

spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder blade, and the other taking a spot on your hip rubbing soft circles. you lay your head to rest on his chest, right above his beating heart. you try to let the metronomic thumps lull you to sleep, but spencer can still feel your eyelashes fluttering about on his chest. he knows what you’re thinking, because of course he does.

“look at me,” he nudges you, you look up at his eyes again and see nothing but pure love and reassurance as he continues, “you are safe. nothing can hurt you. i promise.”

“are you sure?” you let out meekly,

“i’m sure. it’s okay, go to sleep,” he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your forehead. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”

you shakily take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

after five minutes of spencer rubbing shapes into your back, he can finally hear the soft snores coming from below. he places another kiss on your head, whispers, “good night angel girl,” and doses off.

you wake up the next morning feeling so rested and relieved you can’t help but give spencer a big hug that wakes him up. spencer thinks he’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he could wake up like this everyday.

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate Chapter 17

Warnings: Read at your own will, trauma, bondage, abuse, assault, obsession, stockholm syndrome, brainwashing, paraphilic infantilism, loss of freedom, loss of will, religious abuse, ritual abuse, sacrilege, grey sexual assault (reader doesn't confirm), odaxelagnia, soul binding, uncomfortable themes, judgements, angst, ateez are evil (not in real life), humiliation, sexual humiliation, murder, violence, self harm, manipulation, implied non concent

Living with someone for 6 years you learn so much. You learn what makes them tick. You learn what angers them. You know there likes and dislikes. What you don't expect is for your world to come crashing down and everything you love to sicken you. Every idea of them to change. It felt wrong to say the people who cared and loved you were monsters. It was wrong to even think they were anything different and that was the hardest pill for Y/N to swallow. She knew for years the real truths but she loved that about them. She loved their flaws. She loved them, but there was nothing she could do now. Y/N had to learn to love again and learn a whole new meaning of love, but right now her heart couldn't take anymore. She was tired, hurt and heartbroken to the point Hyunjin had to drag her by the scruff of her neck back to their home. She didn't fight him, instead, she fell limp in his mouth like a dead wolf while Jeongin trotted behind them. Jeongin tried to keep his thoughts quiet, not wanting to impose his views or thoughts. "Hyunjin. Jeongin. Is Y/N alright? Please say she's alright. I tried to phone Chan but his phone is switched off." Minho ran out of the house when he saw the two wolves carrying a limp grey wolf to the door. The grey wolf looked lifeless, dead even.

Y/N could hear it in Minho's voice that he was distraught, but she didn't have the energy to lift her head up. She heard Minho walk towards her when Hyunjin let out a threatening growl, causing the beta to gasp. "Hyunjin I'm not going to hurt her. I want to see her." Minho almost pleaded but Hyunjin snarled at him. The elder beta was trying his best to reach the omega but the alphas were too standoffish. Jeongin too was not prepared to let another beta near her as he covered the omega. "Jeongin." Minho whimpered as he looked at the young alpha who he grew up with. It shocked the wolf, he never expected such aggression from the young alpha. Minho didn't know what to do, he felt lost as an elder. None of the wolves were listening to him. Seungmin and Changbin had practically outcasted Felix for causing their omega to leave. They thought that Y/N wanted to return to Hongjoong, but what they didn't realise was that she wanted to stop Hongjoong. They didn't understand. None of the beta's did and it was upsetting them. They couldn't settle knowing something was wrong with their omega. They needed their alphas to communicate, they needed to know to fix this. In the end, Minho gave up and retreated back inside to see a broken Felix curled up on the sofa, tears streaming down his face as he shook. "Felix why don't you go upstairs and rest." Minho offered. "I can't. Changbin broke my nest. He said it was all my fault. He said I'm a terrible beta. He said I should have been born an omega." Felix's shuddered as he heard a bang coming from his room.

Minho decided he couldn't take it anymore and stormed up to Felix's room to stop the Beta's when an angry Chan called them all downstairs. The four betas stood in front of Chan quietly as they faced him. "Now, I don't know what has happened, but right now my omega is my priority. What I need from you is to sort yourselves out. Until I know how she is, none of you are walking away from this. You are my pack. My wolves. My family, so do not fight. She is our family so stop this nonsense." Chan's voice was low as he spoke to them. "I-I'm sorry." Felix sniffed out. Chan gave a nod of recognition before heading outside to phase into his wolf form. Chan's silver wolf headed straight to his omega, sniffing all over her, checking for wounds. "Y/N? Baby, are you alright?" Chan nudged her with his snout, whining. Y/N flashed a load of images in her mind of what happened but Chan didn't understand so Hyunjin explained how she wanted to protect them. How she felt she could reason with Hongjoong and why her feelings were acceptable. As much as Chan didn't like seeing it, he needed to understand everything. He needed to truly understand who Hongjoong was and what he was capable of in order to protect his pack. To protect Y/N and Hyunjin. "They. They hurt her Chan. They hurt our omega. They did things." Jeongin tried to explain but ended up sharing a load of images causing Y/N to whine in pain. "I still don't understand. Someone explain to me what is going on." Chan growled as he licked her face affectionately. "Chan we need to get her to phase. Y/N never phases. She never phased with Hongjoong. She's going to be exhausted." Hyunjin explained with a huff causing the head alpha to snap his head up at the black wolf "How do you know she never phased, huh? You can read minds not her whole life story." Chan's voice was hoarse as he noticed the way Hyunjin crouched over her. He noticed it in the car as he was pulling up, the way Hyunjin was checking over her, nuzzling affectionately. Hyunjin looked as if he was familiar with her and Chan knew there was something Hyunjin wasn't telling him. Hyunjins silence told him all that he needed to know. "I stole you from Hongjoong. My omega. My soulmate lived with Hongjoong. Don't you think that's odd? You're still full of secrets Hyunjin. I thought we were past that." Chan asked darkly as he pulled the limp omega towards him with his paw, dominating his authority, and showing him the power he has. "She is yours. She is Jeongins but she is also mine." Hyunjin answered. Both wolves not realising a confused Jeongin was watching the scene unfold. He had no idea what was about to happen. "I could take her away from you. I could remove you." Chan asked causing the young alpha to gasp. He didn't expect Chan to banish Hyunjin, surely there was an explanation. "You could remove me and strip me of my titles, but then you'll never know how me and her are bound," Hyunjin stated, his wolf standing taller, preparing to challenge if he had to. "I never lied to you. I just hid my knowledge of he-" "I can still hear you, you know," Y/N grumbled causing the wolves to freeze.

Jeongin whined and crawled under his head alpha to reach the omega to nuzzle. The young alpha was feeling heavily confused and wanted her to rest. Chan huffed as he felt the small alpha crawl under him like a child. Chan smacked the back of his head at his childlike behaviour causing the younger alpha to huff. Jeongin nuzzled Y/N affectionately to remind her he still was there. "Let's phase back. I'll tell you what I know about Hongjoong." Y/N answered groggily. "We can do it tomorrow when Jisung is better." Jeongin offered. "Better? What did you do?" Y/N asked. Fear clouded her mind. "Jisung went into a rut. After feeling you around him." Chan answered, glaring at the thought of Jisung accidentally 'falling into her', until a thought popped into his head, Hyunjin would have claimed already. "Don't be so disappointed. I always looked after my pretty omega." Hyunjin taunted causing Chan to growl in a threatening manner but Y/N put a stop to it when she managed to phase back on her own, frightening Jeongin with her nakedness along the way.

Once the two hot-headed alphas put aside their feud temporarily, Y/N was ready to tell her story. It wasn't a nice story but they were all prepared for it and knew they had to listen to understand her, and quite possibly what they might be up against. "Alright. What was the last thing I said?" Y/N asked nervously. She knew it was best to start at the beginning but Y/N couldn't quite remember what point she had left on. "You told us your childhood, up until the point you were handed over to Ateez," Jeongin explained as he shuffled on the cushion, trying his best to get comfortable as he knew what was coming. "Ah. Alright. The head alpha of my pack, Jackson, my father. He handed me over to Hongjoon. Now Hongjoong's pack was a well-known respected alpha in our area and our alpha often worked closely with them along with other packs, but Jackson chose Hongjoong. Why? Because he knew Hongjoong worked with dark aura and knew a possible witch who meddled with dark magic. Of course, you knew the rumours as much as we did. Hongjoong had lots of rumours about him. What I didn't know at the time but learned later was that Hongjoong helped Jackson create an Apex. It may have been the reason both the mother and the apex died, but that's a different story or conspiracy.

Hongjoong, let's say, was very different at the beginning. When I met Hongjoong I was worried, but I was worried about being around any alpha. He knew that. He obviously knew the rumours but he wanted to prove them wrong at the beginning. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were the first two I met at the beginning. They were sweet. Very kind, actually. Hongjoong wanted to court me at the beginning. He took me on dates, and bought my flowers the usual things a head alpha would do when there courting. Seonghwa sometimes came with him, but he was a little bit more reserved. Sometimes he would ask invasive questions about my pack, my politics, my virtue, but I never questioned it. Fast forward two years I moved in with them, now bare in mind I had no idea what Hongjoong's expectations were.

Now, the first half was fine. Hongjoong was very sweet. He waited a long time before ever claiming me, 6 months actually. Hongjoong always had me involved with everything. If he went to work in the office I came with him. If he was at his computer I sat with him. When there were times he was busy I spent time with the other wolves like Seonghwa, San, Wooyoung. I never really did the things I was trained for as an omega, it was rather the opposite, but I never questioned it. They liked to mollycoddle me, I thought it was cute at the beginning.

Seonghwa. Seonghwa would do things for me, just general things like cooking for me, getting things for me, and babying me, to the point it got restrictive. I didn't notice of course. The way he would pet my hair, tell me I never needed to worry. They all did that to an extent. Sometimes if I got things wrong they would humiliate me in front of the others. Sometimes they laughed at me. Do you know how they humiliated me? They would strip me down naked for days, sometimes they didn't care if another wolf from another pack saw. They would even fuck me in front of each other and make remarks about me. It got worse to the point I stopped doing things completely. Hongjoong said I didn't need to do things just accept I was being loved, but that meant doing nothing. It meant being carried around by Seonghwa and Hongjoong all the time, to the point they bathed me, clothed me, and fed me. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't object. If I did Hongjoong would take me down into the basement where he punished the other wolves for disobedience. Some punishments were isolation. Sitting in the dark, listening to a beta being tortured. Sometimes he would cuff me with bolt cuffs. Sometimes he would cuff me with werewolf traps and ask me to rip my hands out. Sometimes he would try to drown me, poison me, inject me with wolfsbane. That was his way of saying I disappointed him." Y/N stopped and looked at the paled wolves. None of them had spoken. They were stunned into silence. Jisung and Jeongin looked close to being sick. Changbin and Felix were on the verge of tears. The others either held a frown on their face or were completely blank. "Still with me, yeah?" Y/N spoke nervously, waiting for a sign of approval to continue to speak.

"So. To the next part. The ritual. Hongjoong obviously wanted an apex there is no doubt about it. He had been trying to perfect the art of consummation. He practised on lone omegas. Took them in, had sex with them, and presented them to the dark ancestors. When it didn't work he killed them. He had to make sure it was one hundred per cent possible before putting me through it, even if it meant I died. During that night he half drugged me, but not enough to put me to sleep, but enough to keep me with it. Hongjoong was crafting with witches using necromancy to provide an apex. As I didn't have heats because of stress Hongjoong had to force one so my body would accept it. That night I found paperwork's, books of different rituals all over his desk. He was going to lay me in front of a coven of witches and fuck me with my throat slit with another alpha. A strong alpha. The problem was we lost our strongest alpha at the time because I set him free. So on the night before, I took a metal pole and whacked it around the back of his head and left. Alright, it took me longer to get out because Wooyoung heard the commotion but Yeosang managed to get me across the clearing line and told me to keep heading north. The end."

The wolves stared blankly at her, taking in every word she said. They all had questions, lots of them. Some they didn't want answered. None of them could believe what they had heard. They felt sick. "Question?" Seungmin asked as he looked between his omega and Hyunjin, "who was the wolf you set free?" "I don't remember. Seonghwa had brainwashed me into forgetting. The only thing I do remember is we were ambushed by two separate werewolf packs and one had an interest in that alpha. All I know is he was my favourite alpha and I set him free during the fight, but Seonghwa said I imagined it and that it was actually Wooyoung." Y/N answered causing Hyunjin to laugh. "It wasn't Wooyoung you set free. It was me."

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627

[brittle-doughie]

An idea I had, but it's kind of freaky

A really TOXIC relationship between a sadistic evil Y/N who likes to torture their victims until they suffer a slow and painful death and a masochistic Eternal Sugar who loves to be tortured by them, they love to torture her as well, only for ES to self heal her wounds and start their cycle again over and over.

Is it a sane relationship? No. Do they still love each other? In their own, weird and freaky way, yes. Will they destroy anyone who dares to try and separate them? A B S O L U T E L Y

Alright, now Eternal Sugar isn’t so much trying to keep up the angelic innocence anymore, now a succubus indulging in her vices. Also might have to dial back the ask a bit here.

Even after falling into corruption, doing whatever she still needed to do watching over her paradise is still leaving her tired, she wanted her own way of happiness and that’s where you come in.

Compared to Eternal Sugar, you were a demon. Any Cookie would ridicule or reject this paradise should be lucky that Eternal Sugar gets to them first, because how you operate is unlike what she does.

She doesn’t mind though, the annoying weeds needed to be plucked out eventually! Except you plucked out those weeds slowly and painfully, make them feel the pain that ES would’ve felt when these Cookies try to leave!

You’d think Eternal Sugar would protest to your behavior when it’s directed at her like pulling on her wings slightly, but she absolutely RELISHES what you inflict on her, she can just heal it off and you’re free to do whatever to her all over again.

But there’s no denial that under the front of your relationship with her, that actual love is in there too. Which is why any attempt to put a stop to you is meet with actual hostility from ES.

You two. You two twisted Cookies. Were simply made for each other.

[emeraldgem10]

Royalty Panic! (A Y/N story!)

So yep, an "evil" Y/N has been made, inspired by the King of Koopas, Bowser! And a touch of the Ice King from Adventure Time and the structure of this story inspired by @brittle-doughie's heartbreak series.

NOTE: This was written 2 months ago, as this costume was meant appear with Bard!Y/N, the images were added recently at the time of posting this.

______________________________________________________________

The origins of this Y/N begins with their old partner passing away, but instead of meeting other Cookies to mend their heart they turn to books and magics to distract their mind and as a result, they become quite powerful!

However, they may have been doing this a little too long and too hard, causing them to forget why they were even doing this in the first place. As such they began to go out to watch major events from afar.

It was at one of these events that their little eyes set on Princess Cookie for the first time and in their subconscious felt a spark in them like their old partner and Y/N was in love! They knew what they wanted to do: To win her heart!

As a result of the time Y/N spent alone, their first attempts of trying to woo Princess Cookie over didn't really go well, they even got dragged out by guards in one instance. Now stumped, Y/N was thinking of another way to earn her heart when they thought of something:

And so begins the Bowser side of this Y/N, they began to kidnap Princess Cookie or if she was more evasive, cause trouble like kidnapping her loved ones just to get her attention and when she gets to Y/N's fortress they talk to her sweetly only to be countered with her harsh and sharp words, then she or her allies would foil Y/N plans and the cycle would begin anew.

But underneath that tough dough exterior they're just as soft and caring as any other Y/N would be, it's just that they have a difficult time expressing that part of them now. So after their latest defeat, changes occured when Princess Cookie had REALLY had let her exasperated side out before she made her leave:

You lost again, you thought you were used to it but now... You didn't know what to do anymore... you tried to distract yourself again with your books but instead you broke down in tears as the memories flooded back into your mind. It lasted for hours until all of that repressed grief had been let out. And then, a moment of self reflection came over you, you realized that maybe Princess Cookie was right, you wouldn't get a chance with her, not after all the trouble you caused with all of those "grand" gestures you made for her..

Maybe this was a sign that you should... Do something else, leave her alone at last and do something... more.. productive.

So you did, you left Princess Cookie and her loved ones alone and left your fortress in search of fulfillment, wandering around Earthbread until you found a new place to call home.

But this time you weren't alone, along the way you found "minions" that came with you as you established a small "kingdom", you began to get more comfortable with others and bond with your "minions" as well they were with you, of course you still had occasions where your hyper fixations like growing your little "kingdom" and meeting your "princess" would kick in but this time you had others; others to count on, to confide in, to struggle with, and for the first time in a long time, you felt.. loved and content.

Maybe you can hold off the whole royal thing for another time.

Until the princess crosses roads with you again...

______________________________________________________________

So yes I FINALLY got this shelved concept made into fruition, and I'll be posting the images of this alternate costume later, but for now imma head back to studying for my exams.

See ya!

[thornsofthenightcourt]

What has this fandom come to?

So i usually never post on tumblr. i've always been a silent supporter for all my fandoms from the same blog i've had since middle school, mostly supernatural and it2017, etc.

But in the past few years, ACOTAR has utterly consumed me. It got me out of a 5 year reading slump and honestly brought back my fan girl self, someone who i havent seen in a LONG time.

I didnt want any spoilers for ANYTHING, so i stayed away from all online discourse surrounding these books. I was SO SO excited when I finally finished ACOSF to come on here and once again silently watch the fandom of a series I have grown to love so much.

Boy oh boy was I utterly confused. Not that i was expecting much, but as someone who stayed far away from any outsider theories or ships or anything, i truly expected everyone or the majority of people to be on the side of elriel??? Based on the CANON (yes, CANON) scenes between the two throughout all 5 books, and SJM making it very obvious that elain and luciens mating bond is the ONLY mating bond to ever be questioned, and Feyre herself creating the most romantic and iconic couple name for them, and nesta knowing why Az was the way he was on solstice night, i just kind of assumed that everyone picked up on the fact that elriel was next?????? The same way i could tell Nesta and Cassian were next since ACOWAR. I genuinely did not think there was any other conclusion to be made. Even my friends and family who aren't online agree that elriel will be next.

So imagine my pure shock and horror i had when the first fanart of az was with gwyn of all people? never, and i mean NEVER, during ACOSF did i picture them being together. As someone who purely only read the books and based my theories on what i was READING (cough cough ACTUAL CANON), it was always az and elain, just like it was always cassian and nesta even before ACOSF, just like it was always rhys and feyre even before ACOMAF (knew he was going to be the mmc when she described him as the most beautiful person she's ever seen). From the very moment the bat boys met the archeron sisters i picked up on the theme of three, the rulers, the warriors, and the spies. "Oh but its so boring and predictable" YOURE READING A FAERIE ROMANCE SERIES WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? It's almost like symmetry and patterns are IMPORTANT to story telling. It would be so unsatisfying if it was 2 sisters and 2 brothers, and then one sister and her unwanted mate who didnt stop her from being kidnapped and dragged into the cauldron, and then one brother and this random chick who was in the last book as a side character, only there to aid the plot line of a main character. It's almost like 3 sisters and 3 brothers is the perfect way to wrap up the stories of all 3 archeron sisters.

It's been months now of me just silently watching the ship wars go down (why is this even happening, why are we shipping someone with the very person who is making her visibly uncomfortable and cave into herself, like im literally going to crash out) and i quite literally have had enough. I cant be silent anymore. This fandom is the most toxic, anti against the literal series they are reading, compared to ANY other fandom i have been it. Dont even get me started on the whole rhys is evil and the IC sucks debate. I just genuinely have never seen a fandom deny canon text so much? How. HOW??

Anyways, my point is im sick of it. Elain clearly needs as much love as possible in this toxic ass household and I will no longer be a fly on the wall to witness her abuse. I LOVE YOU, ELAIN ARCHERON. You are fierce, beautiful, powerful, and have more kindness than all antis combined. To break you down into just a mate for someone just because people think he deserves it (spoiler: he doesnt) is utterly insane, and purely misogynistic and i will NOT stand for it. I am dedicating my entire blog to her from now on (and yes that includes az too, because CANONLY they have crushes on each other and want to kiss <3) because i am so sick of the misogynistic losers bringing my poor sweet girl down every chance they get. Elain you will always be famous.

(if you are against anything i said in this and comment, you will be blocked i dont even have the energy to argue)

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

104, 216 and yeosang please please please 🙏

➯a/n: yes yes yessss 😩 i know deep in my guuuut that yeosang is freaky, he's a perv and i can feel it in my bones (me too fr) also damn it why do i keep going overboard with these simple prompts !? the ateez brainrot is so real ...

Fair

❥Kang Yeosang x fem reader

104 + 216: "give me your panties" + piss kink

✈︎queued for: sun. 18th

(>ᴗ•)genre: smut

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: STRONG dom/sub dynamics, bdsm relationship, MEAN NASTY dom sang, degradation in the form of: being peed + cum on and name calling (bitch, slut, whore, dirty). omorashi (sang gets off on making reader hold her bladder), teasing, shower 'sex', fingering, sub-space, praise, orgasm control, overstim, one light slap, pet names (darling, baby), healthy communication of consent (which is very important in bdsm, be safe !!)

♡masterlist !♡

➯a/n2: the concept of yeosang teasing his s/o until they can't take it anymore all while nonchalantly watching tv or something is just fried in my brain ever since i wrote "Yours" like gawd 😭 i seriously feel like he's the freakiest, nastiest member of ateez and i will die on this hill — then i want you all to bury me here lmaooo

18+. MINORS GET OUTTA HERE.

☆゜

"Will you stop fidgeting?" Yeosang groans as he pins your leg to the couch by your thigh as you bounce it incessantly.

"I have to pee..." You whisper for the third time in the hour. You know you can always just get up and go, or you can say 'stop' and tell him you seriously can't take it anymore. But you know how much Yeosang loves to see you struggle. You can see the sparkle in his eyes as he watches the TV, the little smirk on his lips at your words.

"Just hold it, I don't want you to miss the show." He doesn't give a single fuck about the show, and you both know it. When he moves his hand, wrapping his arm around your shoulder again, you cross your legs. His smirk gets wider.

Another twenty minutes pass. The television and the rotating fan fill the silence. It's summertime, and you're both in nothing but your underwear to fight the heat — but also because you'd just had a rather steamy make out session in which you stripped each other.

His hard on hadn't gone away from the way you were grinding on him, and you have to seriously commend his self restraint. It's been almost two hours, but he's not going to cum until you cave.

You shift in your seat, leaning your head against his shoulder with a small whine.

Another ten minutes pass.

He has to commend your self restraint now. You've never made it this long. You must really want to please him. An idea hits him —

"Give me your panties."

You look up, slightly stunned, but you're already moving to obey him. After having been together so long, you never question him when you're in sub-space.

"Thank you, Darling," he rewards you with a soft kiss, grinning into it as he feels the little wet patch on them while he sets them aside. He gently pulls one of your legs over his, effectively spreading your legs.

When the fan hits your wetness, you jolt. Yeosang, the evil genius, chuckles into your lips, giving you one last lick before pulling away.

"Hold it, Darling. You can do it."

The cool air makes the sensation of your full bladder a million times harder to ignore, but you bite your lip; determined to make it through the — wait, is this a different show? That really shows how much the two of you are paying attention.

Every time the fan passes over you, you let out a sigh, a whimper, a groan. And he drinks them all up like he's dying of thirst.

His fingers are drawing patterns on your inner thigh, getting closer and closer to your center.

Your heart is beating so fast you think he might be able to hear it. And when his finger finds your clit, you squeak out a simple, "stop."

He immediately hauls you up off the couch and carries you to the bathroom, rubbing down the back of your thigh and to your ass. "You made it really long, Darling," he hums, setting you down in the shower and starting the water, "hold it just a bit longer~"

You cross your legs with a whine, blinking at him desperately. "Baby, please, hurry-" You yip as he turns you around to face the wall, joining you under the stream of water after ridding himself of his boxers. The sound of the shower is making it near impossible to hold it. You're about to burst.

As soon as he wraps an arm around you, two of his fingers slide inside of you. And as soon as they do, your bladder has had enough.

The stream of pee coming from you is broken into spurts as Yeosang starts a brutal pace with his fingers, a wide smirk on his face as you sob with the simultaneous relief and onslaught of pleasure. He wraps his free arm around your chest and holds you upright as you trembling like a leaf in the wind. "There you go," he hums with a deep satisfaction, "let it all out, my dirty darling~"

You can finally open your eyes as your poor bladder finally runs empty, panting and bracing your hands against the wall as he continues to curl his fingers inside of you. "Fffffuck!" Is all you can manage to slur, spreading your legs further.

"How good does that feel, huh?" He presses his forehead against your shoulder, nipping your skin, "say thank you, bitch."

"Thank you! Oh, sh- thank you, thank you, s'good-"

"You did so good for me, such a patient little piss slut~" He slides his hand down your chest, briefly pinching one of your nipples before traveling further. As he starts drawing figure eights on your clit, he tells you, "cum for me."

Your body is hardwired to listen to him, you can't help but do as he says — especially when he's just flooded your brain with so much relief and sexual pleasure all at once.

You grab onto his arms, moaning unabashedly as you cum around his fingers, "oh, good fuck!" You wail as your knees give out from the force of it, wavering in his strong hold as he overstimulates the living daylights out of you; holding you under his actions until your pussy is throbbing. "S-top," you manage to hiccup, and he does so immediately — breathing just as heavily as you and chuckling as he catches the sounds of your little pathetic moans over the running water.

"Such a good whore for me," he praises as he kisses along your neck, slowly and gently removing his fingers from your sensitive cunt. He knows your limits, and holding your bladder this long has definitely pushed you to them. He would love nothing more than to fuck you against the shower wall until you can't breathe — but he knows that would be too much for you at the moment. Oh well, painting you in as many nasty ways he can will be just as nice.

"C'mere." He pulls you away from the wall and gently turns you around with your back under the water. "Kneel."

There you go, down on your knees without a second thought. Actually, you're so deep in your sub-space that you don't even remember what thinking is.

"Look at you," he coos, a devilish grin on his lips as he inspects your form. Back straight, legs folded neatly under you, hands behind your back. "My perfect little plaything~"

You smile up at him, eyes trained on his despite the way you really, really want to look at his erect member. You fail when he starts stroking it. Your eyes flick for only a second, but of course Yeosang catches it.

He slaps you in the following second, although he does so lightly — just as a warning. You know he can be much rougher. All things considered, this scene could be called "vanilla" or "soft" by you and Yeosang's standards.

"Sorry, Baby," you say immediately, earning yourself a soft stroke to your poor cheek.

"Take your eyes off me again and I'll make you drink my piss, got it?" He tilts his head, words spoken so nonchalantly that it makes your sensitive heat throb. You know he won't without asking you first, but something about his threats always make you hot and bothered.

"Yes, Sangie."

"Good slut." He smirks as he notices your thighs pressing together, giving your cheek a soft pinch before standing back up to get the full view of you while he jerks himself off. "So pretty..."

Before he can command you to; you're already opening your mouth wide like he likes. Sticking out your tongue to act as a landing pad for his cum.

You know him just as well as he knows you. You can see that little twitch in his eyebrow, the way his chest rises and falls faster.

"Fuck-" He curses under his breath, eyes scanning you with wide pupils, "my bitch knows what I like, yeah?"

A hummed 'mhm!' sounds from your throat, and he has to hold himself back from fucking straight into it. You seriously test his self control sometimes — it's hard to stick to what you've planned and agreed to whenever you're so goddamn perfect for him.

"Keep that tongue out until I say so." He's getting so close he can feel it in his balls, his body begging for release after being denied so long. But he doesn't want to stop yet. He wants to admire you longer; you really are his perfect plaything.

"Ah," you moan as you open your mouth wider, your eyes obediently trained on his even as they wander your body. When they come back to yours — he's hit with his peak whether he likes it or not. You look like the doll of his dreams, eager to please and knowing just what makes him weak.

He's taken off guard by it, jaw dropping with a string of moans as a few ropes of his cum paint your face before he manages to pull you closer and shove his tip into your mouth.

You barely even flinch as his warm release meets your face; your eyes only shut for a split second before they're back on his and making his heart skip one too many beats as he cums into your mouth.

You keep your tongue out all the while, playing with your hands behind your back so you don't play with yourself. You moan softly, tilting your head back so none of his cum drips out when he pulls away.

It's so sweet and salty. He loves cumming in your mouth, so he drinks all of pineapple juice — it may seem unnecessary, but he likes for you to enjoy it too. And it's something small that you appreciate as he absolutely ruins you for anyone but himself. Something to focus on when he makes you hold it in your mouth as he goes back to fucking you ruthlessly or degrading you in such beautiful and debaucherous way.

It makes you not hesitate when he says, "close your mouth. Don't swallow." You revel in the taste of his cum.

Panting quietly, he kneels down infront of you and swipes the milky white release on your face; gathering it up on his fingers. "Spread your legs, slut."

You do so with breakneck speed, one of your hands coming out of position to steady yourself on the shower wall. He lets it slide — you've been so good for him. And he lets you know how much you've pleased him while he spreads his cum on your cunt, "you've been such a good whore for me, Darling. Getting all dirty, that's how you like it, huh?"

"Mhmmm," you moan with your mouth full, your cheeks puffed ever so slightly. You almost throw your head back when he starts massaging his cum into your heated skin. You can only communicate with your eyes, making them begging and wide and letting your eyebrows crease together.

"You want to cum again, is that it?"

You nod quickly, breath picking up as he slips his fingertips between your lips and caresses your hole teasingly.

"Do you want to cum now, or do you want to cum when I fuck you later? Choose carefully, Darling. If you want it now, nod." He's cruel, you think, and he's so hot it's unfair. He knows you love having your orgasms controlled. He gets to say when, how, how many — this is just an illusion of choice.

And you chose to shake your head. If you'd chosen to cum now, you'd be edged to near insanity later and not allowed to cum until the morning. That's just the way Yeosang does things. And even though you whine as he moves his fingers, you love it.

"I think that's a good choice for my needy slut," he leans and kisses your forehead so affectionately that it makes you dizzy. "Open."

His release is all mixed with your build up of spit, stringy as you open your mouth and carefully stick out your tongue with your head tilted back; not spilling a single drop.

"Good," he pecks your tongue softly, licking his own release from his lips before saying, "swallow."

You almost don't want to. The taste of his cum is comforting on some level. But you do it anyway, because you always get rewarded with a smile.

"My obedient slut," he gives you that smiles, and you return the gesture. He swipes back your wet hair, tracing your cheekbones softly. "Would you like to continue?"

He's rough and he's mean, but he loves you. He checks up every so often during scenes like this, even if you don't use your safe word.

"Yes, please."

He keeps his smile as he pats your cheek, then it's gone when he stands up.

"On your ass."

You swing your legs out from under you and are sitting on the shower floor in a second flat, leaning back on your hands and waiting for your next instruction.

"Spread your legs."

Done. The moment he asks for it.

"Since you pissed all over me, I'm going to piss all over you now. Sound fair?" He looks so excited behind his dominant persona that even if you didn't want him to — you'd be caving.

But, you do. You're just as eager. You're just as nasty as he is, albeit in a different way. That's why you're so perfect for each other.

"Sounds fair."

☆゜

[deadsetobsessions]

What’s in a cape, but the hopes and dreams of the one who bears it?

What’s in a cape, but shelter and warmth for those that receive its protection?

What’s in a hero suit, but a person that’s determined to die in it?

——

Long before Danny Phantom died in his hazmat suit, Bruce Wayne donned his cowl to dive between Gotham and the bullets with faces engraved on them. His cape began to signify fear, for those that harmed Gotham knowingly. But for the rest, it became a sign of protection, of promised vengeance against the crime committed.

And for a select few, the cape was a shelter during cold and rainy patrols. For Tim Drake, the third Robin, it was a warmth he’d never experience past those moments.

When Danny Fenton became Danny Phantom, he’d had wanted to have a cape like the crusader.

Danny wasn’t sure if he wanted to shelter or be sheltered.

But eventually, as things escalated and Danny found himself with less time for normal, personal things, that wish shuddered to an ember. After all, Danny had learned that he doesn’t get the luxury of protection. Not anymore. Which meant he had to be the one doing the protecting. A thousand miles away, as Danny came to terms with it on a clear Amity night, Robin was huddled beneath Batman’s cape to shelter from the pelting rain that came often with Gotham’s gloom.

When Danny got pulled along, invisible and attached to Robin’s side as the vigilante got thrown into a prison, he witnessed Robin talk to his evil older Batman self.

He’s visible again before he knew it, startling the two versions of Robins. Ice slammed into the Robin that became Batman as memories rung through Danny’s head. Where Robin was, stood himself. Where the Evil Robin Batman laid on the floor, covered in glowing ice, was Dan.

Danny died, and became a hero. He just had the unfortunate luck to live to see himself become the villain.

He would never allow Robin to go through it alone, not when Danny had his family and friends to fall back on. Robin, in this cage, ripped away from his team and in the midst of an argument with Batman, was painfully so.

“I’m Phantom.” Danny introduced himself. “Looked like you were in a bit of a spot. I’m sorry for butting in, if you wanted to take care of him yourself.”

“Robin.” Robin was wary. That’s okay. “How are you here?”

“That one’s on you, actually.” Danny glanced around. “Let’s get out of here before edgy future you wakes up. The ice won’t melt, and it’ll be hard to break, but I honestly don’t want to stick around for him to wake up.”

“Can you move him?” Robin eyed their cell contemplatively.

“Sure.”

——

“That seemed personal, earlier.”

Danny nodded. “Yeah. Had the displeasure of meeting an alternate evil version of myself that lost everyone I loved. Kind of hit a sore spot there.”

“…right.”

“No worries, you’re good. My friends and family promised to stay away from explosive sauce.”

“That’s good. So… where do you live?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” Danny somersaulted in space next to Robin’s jerryrigged space ship. “Anyways, we’re friends now, so I’ll make sure you don’t live to see yourself become a villain.”

“See, that sounded like a threat.”

“It’s not! I don’t kill! And besides, if you were dead, you’d probably be a ghost, and you’d kick my ass for killing you!”

“Are you implying you’re dead?”

“Not an implication. I’m dead. Kind of. Half. I’m still breathing even if I kind of don’t need to. So, where are your friends?”

Danny will be damned before he let his new friends die in their suits, even if they make the job incredibly hard for him. After all, there’s only room for one dead hero on the team, and that’s him.

[doctor-cowboy]

Just got around to watching Holly's Chronicles of Benry stream. It's great and everything I wanted. I love viewing it through the lens of it being Benrey's personal playing-with-dolls recreation of his fantasized life, where he imagines himself to be a relatable Normal Person who can be sympathized with because his life has been sooo hard (and normal). Favorite moments along with my interpretation of them: -The introduction of Emmet Calhoun. I love characters that barely exist and Emmet is no exception. I think we should let him be real -When Benrey is talking about the boss battle, he calls Xen his home -He talks about getting shot with the "Gordon gun" and being killed, and then says "I never forgive him, and he's my best friend, so I gotta forgive him". He's still mad about what happened but he likes Gordon enough that he "has to" forgive him -After his death, he is trapped in gm_construct and not allowed to leave -Constantly talking about how happy he is, how he doesn't have any friends but it's ok, how he's dead but it's ok, and how he can do anything he wants. From the perspective of this being his fantasy world, (and with all context), it can be assumed the opposite is true -Everyone in his fantasy perceives him as very funny, smart, kind, and helpful. I think the whole section with the cow friend says a lot about how Benrey sees himself in relation to others- mostly about how he thinks others should see him -^He tells the cow that he can do "bad stuff" with his powers. She responds by saying everyone is capable of good and evil, and that she thinks Benrey is good. Despite everything, Benrey wants to be a good person, or at least perceived as one -^After saying this, Benrey says that she reminds him of his friend Tommy. The cow then says "he sounds like a fine man, and its really cool when you know him." Benrey and Tommy are best friends -When he was on the phone with Dr. Coomer or Emmet, he insulted them once or twice. They responded by laughing. Could be interpreted that when he's being randomly mean to someone, he thinks he's being funny rather than an asshole -Claims now that he has died, he can't die ever again -Every part with Gordon is important. Gordon's 2 roles in this are being a damsel in distress- with a high-pitch voice and everything-begging Benrey to help him (which he does, because he's so nice and cool), or Gordon talking about how happy and proud they all are of Benrey's performance in "the videos" -^Gordon tells Benrey he's not mad about the "arm stuff" anymore because he has his arm back now. Benrey wants Gordon to forgive him too, and thinks he deserves forgiveness because of the perceived impermanence of what he did. It *is* hypocritical, since Benrey is still mad at Gordon for killing him, despite him being "alive" now -Overall implication that Benrey is not only self-aware as an AI but self-aware as a show character. Talks about "the videos" a lot. If you couple it with the idea that Gordon was streaming the game in-universe to justin.tv, I think that could be really interesting

Conclusion: I love to take a joke so real and serious. This stream is only tangentially related to canon, but in a comedy series, "canon" means a lot less. Which means that anything about it can be real if you want it to be. Or not. But I enjoyed the stream and thinking really hard about it, and I encourage everyone who hasn't watched it yet to check it out!!!

[cultkinkcoven]

Special reminder to all the new Luciferians that forgot that he is the adversary, yeah, he’s gonna fuck with you FOR FUN.

If you’ve been working with Lucifer for a week or so and have started getting “conflicting” messages, you are not alone 😩. Lucifer loves to test us, he loves to see how deep our values go. He will purposely say things you disagree with or it would seem like he would disagree with just to fuck with you. This dude LOVES to debate.

For example, a large part of my relationship with Lucifer involved coming to terms with my neurodivergency. For weeks we were working on accepting my limits, being aware of my disorders and having patience for myself. But during a meditation I got the very strong message from him “People with mental illnesses are just looking for an excuse to be lazy”

and I was like ????? what the fuck???? No they’re not??? You fucking idiot???? Who am I talking to right now???? And he was like “yes and anyone who claims to have a disorder without a diagnosis are just looking for attention. Prove me wrong if you think differently”

and I blew up, providing so many arguments for why he’s wrong and why that stance is so stupid, and eventually after a while he was like “Hm… that’s interesting. I guess you’re right. Now that we’ve established this I guess we won’t need entertain the idea anymore”

and any time after that, when I was having self doubts, maybe I’m just faking it for attention, maybe I’m just lazy, Lucifer has been like “OH! So I guess I WAS right!” and I’ve been like NOOO!!!!!! YOURE WRONG!!! THE ENTIRE IDEA IS STUPID AND I WONT LET YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

and Lucifer will then be like “Oh, good then. Don’t let you tell you otherwise either”.

He will press your boundaries, even if only to make sure YOU know where your boundaries are. When writing a spell together Lucifer has been like “yes, we will also need to sacrifice a cat”

and I’ve been like “wtf no we’re not sacrificing a cat why the hell would I do that”

and he’s responded “Because I said so. You will obey my order without question.” (again, extremely out of character, this is a test’!)

until I finally put my foot down and say “I don’t care who or what you are, doing this goes against my core values and I will not abandon those for you or anyone. With all due respect I refuse to do this task”

and Lucifer will be like “I’m just fucking with you, I really liked the way you stood your ground against me though, that was very hot”

and for even less obvious things, Lucifer will test you. He wants to know why you think the things you think. We recently had a very long conversation about the concept of Pedophilia. Super uncomfortable, a conversation I didn’t know we’d ever have, but it was important. He starts by asking me if pedophilia is wrong. Um what??? Obviously???

“Why is it wrong? Explain your reasoning.”

Well because it hurts kids.

“What about non offending pedophiles? What about pre offending reformed pedophiles?”

You don’t have to have the answer to those questions, but you must understand that the answers to those questions matter, even though they are incredibly uncomfortable. Are there evil people? Do evil people deserve empathy? What is an evil person? I don’t like thinking about that, that’s the reason why I don’t have an answer. Lucifer will force you to come to that answer.

“How do we conduct a society where we prevent pedophiles from hurting children without creating another form of discrimination? Do you believe pedophiles deserve empathy? Do they deserve to die? How do we deal with murderers and rapists without becoming murderers and rapists ourselves? How do you console yourself with the reality that some people genuinely enjoy evil things? If you were the Emperor of Hell, how would you manage all the most wicked people who have ever lived? Why is incest bad? Why is murder bad? Do racists deserve to die? Do war criminals deserve to die? Who should be allowed to determine who deserves to die? How far does your empathy extend to people who have done horrible things? How does your moral compass navigate these complex scenarios? What is right and what is wrong? Why do you believe the things you believe?”

There will be times when it seems like he’s trying to do everything in his power to just disagree with you. It’ll seem like he’s leading you to argue with him, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. He’ll ask you questions that should seem like common sense. He’s establishing that not only is it okay to disagree with him, but that at times, he will force you to, to ensure that you are not deriving your own personal values from “whatever God tells you”. He will lie to you, just to see if you’re able to identity a lie. He will say things that he obviously doesn’t believe, only to hear why YOU don’t believe it. It’s important to be firm on your boundaries even if your God is pushing them. You should not be afraid to disagree. You should not be afraid to disobey if it is important to you. Lucifer is not a Shepard and you are not a sheep. You need to understand your own morality alone, without God, without a cheat sheet telling you the answers. and you need to be firm on those. To the point that if God Himself told you differently, you wouldn’t budge.

So if you’ve started working with him recently and are confused as to why he suddenly started saying things you disagree with, investigate what he may be trying to get across. You’ll learn a lot more about yourself.

[aventurineswife]

hi! if you still write for obey me i'd like to make a request (if not then uhm ignore this CAUSE THATS SO EMBARRASSING)

anyways.. i was wondering if you could do an mc who's like.. black pearl cookie (but obviously dont make the mc a cookie😭) it would be pretty cool cause in her story they were betrayed by a cookie pirate causing her to turn evil, and in this au the mc could have been betrayed a demon (for the funsies, yk)

then again its completely up to you about what you wish to write! these were just some cool ideas in my head because im getting a little too hyperfixated on black pearl cookie! thanks for looking at my idea!

The Monster Beneath the Waves

Tags: Lucifer x Reader, Mammon x Reader, Barbatos x Reader, Angst, Betrayal, Emotional Struggles, Dark Themes, Hurt/Comfort, Vulnerability, Regret, Complex Relationships, Redemption Arc.

Warnings: Mild language, Emotional manipulation, Betrayal, Self-isolation, Dark emotional themes, Strained relationships, Potential triggering content around trust issues and past trauma.

You stand at the edge of the Devildom’s cliffs, your eyes fixed on the horizon, the sea of chaos stretching out before you. Your once gentle heart now only knows the bitterness of betrayal, and the vast ocean seems like the only place where you could drown out the memories of a love lost, a trust broken.

Lucifer steps behind you, his footsteps silent, but you can feel his presence like a weight settling next to you. His overcoat billows in the wind, his eyes narrowing at you, studying you like an intricate puzzle. He knows you’ve changed. He saw it when the once-soft light in your eyes turned cold. The day you were betrayed, he had warned you, but you never listened.

"Do you think," Lucifer’s voice breaks the silence, his tone low and calculating, "that running away will truly erase it?"

You turn to him, your emotions carefully masked beneath the steely surface. "I don’t need anyone anymore, Lucifer. The ocean will be my sanctuary, away from all this chaos you call family. Away from him. Away from everything."

Lucifer watches you carefully, his gaze lingering for a moment longer than usual. "You speak of peace, but what you truly seek is revenge, isn't it?" He steps closer, his voice taking on an edge you can’t ignore. "I can help you, if that’s truly what you want. But know this—once you follow this path, there is no turning back."

You swallow hard, your eyes welling with the bitter memories of the demon who shattered your trust. "I have nothing left to lose."

Lucifer smirks, as if he’s seen this before. His fingers brush the top of your hand, cold yet deliberate, almost as if to claim you. "Then you shall have everything you desire, for I, too, know the weight of betrayal."

Mammon leans against the wall, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous shine, but beneath the surface, he senses something different about you. Since that day—the day he betrayed you, everything changed.

"Ya know," Mammon says with his usual cocky grin, "if yer looking for something to do, The Great Mammon is always up for a little treasure hunt. Could be a way to fill that… void ya got, ya know?"

You glance at him, your expression blank. Mammon notices that familiar spark of warmth in your eyes that used to be there, but now it’s only a reflection of the icy seas you once called home.

"Don’t," you snap, voice cracking for a moment before you regain control. "Don’t pretend like I’m the same. You weren’t there. You didn’t see him sell the last thing I trusted. You didn’t feel what it was like to be used."

Mammon's smirk falters, and his eyes soften. He pushes himself off the wall, moving closer, trying to bridge the gap between the two of you.

"Ya think I don’t regret it? That I don’t know I messed up?" Mammon’s voice becomes quieter, and for once, the usual bravado fades away. "I didn’t mean to hurt ya… I didn't… I just—"

"Don’t," you cut him off again, shaking your head. "It’s too late for apologies, Mammon. I’m done with the likes of you."

Mammon’s shoulders slump as if the weight of your words crushes him. "If ya really think ya can find peace out there, in that cold sea, then fine. But don’t forget, I was the one who tried to keep ya from sinking."

Barbatos’s soft footsteps echo down the marble halls of the Demon Lord’s Castle. He had always been the picture of calm, but lately, there’s a quiet anxiety in his movements whenever he sees you. The sharp edge to your demeanor, the coldness you now wear like a shield, hasn’t escaped his notice.

He stands by your side, watching as you stare at the grand clock, its ticking only serving to remind you of the seconds slipping away. There’s a tension between you two, a distance that wasn’t there before. Your heart had once been pure, unbroken, but now… now it’s filled with something darker.

"Perhaps," Barbatos begins softly, his gaze never leaving your face, "you’ve forgotten the path you once walked. But I haven't. I remember the kindness you used to show, the trust you had, and I can't help but mourn its loss."

You turn your eyes to him, and Barbatos’s breath hitches as he sees the pain in your gaze, mingled with the twisted resolve that’s taken root.

"Don’t pity me," you whisper, your voice laced with a venom that sends a chill down his spine. "You don’t understand. He betrayed me. A demon I once trusted. He took something I gave in good faith, and I’ll never forgive him for that. Never."

Barbatos’s expression softens, but there’s no pity in his eyes—only an understanding, a subtle sadness. "I cannot undo what has been done," he says quietly, stepping closer. "But I do know that turning your back on everything you once believed in will only lead you down a darker path."

"I’ve already walked that path," you reply, your eyes flashing with a dangerous glint. "And I’ll make sure no one will ever hurt me again. Not even you."

Barbatos’s hand reaches out, almost imperceptibly, as if he hopes to touch the remnants of the person you once were. "I would never hurt you," he says, his voice a soft plea. "But if you insist on walking this path of vengeance, know that I will stand by you, even if I have to face the consequences."

You meet his gaze, and for a moment, you see the flicker of something—something that could have been love, if only things had turned out differently.

[watchthe-worlddecay]

more tomura headcanons because he’s all i can ever think of

he’s very into the aesthetics of divine machinery and 2000s rock. he listened to a lot of post hardcore and alternative bands such as ptv, tdg, evanescence, good charlotte and linkin park

lowkey had an emo phase

he spends a lot of his free time in old arcades tucked away in the cities he walks through. he enjoys just loitering around and imagining what sort of experiences people had in a place that was once bussling but now lay either abandoned or forgotten. he wonders were those people are now

he ruminates. he’s in his head a lot and gets lost in his thoughts. that’s why he keeps himself busy and stays up until he quite literally cannot keep his eyes open anymore.

he has a very strong sense of justice. although twisted.

he really appreciates animals. he wonders how they can be so forgiving and loving despite the evil that surrounds them. he’s envious of them at times.

he knows a stupid amount abt computers.

he enjoys rain because it’s one thing his touch can’t destroy. and he likes the smell.

he comes off as prickly even when he doesn’t mean to he’s just super blunt and has a sad resting face. he’s also probably overly defensive which makes people avoidant in talking to him. but when he’s mean he’s very mean, he will make it obvious he doesn’t like you. he thinks faking emotions to keep the peace is shitty

he’s not super insecure about his appearance he just really hates himself. he hates who he is at his core.

he stopped getting haircuts as a late teen because kurogiri fucked up his cut SO bad and he was absolutely humiliated. never trusted him with scissors ever again

he’s casually suicidal. all throughout any battles his thoughts were always focussed on the new society he’d build and the horizon his comrades would be able to look over. he never saw himself standing with them though. in the back of his mind he knew that he would have to die to get what hw wanted

has prominent eye bags, they’re more reddish than anything. they blend into the scarring surrounding his eyes.

has white lashes and very light and thin eyebrows

has self harm scars on his neck, biceps/shoulders and wrists

his hands are calloused and rough and his knuckles are constantly scraped

bruises easily

he has more moles all over his body, prominently his back

he bites his nails

he has extremely expressive eyes. he has a really good poker face but despite that if you look hard enough you’ll always be able to tell his emotions by his eyes.

he’s a naturally gentle person. his destructive tendencies were learnt through afo

his favourite colour is a light magenta/lavender purple but he says it’s black

before his memories came back to him, tomura would occasionally flinch if someone moved their hand near his face for some reason. he never understood why until his fight with redestro