#not even toxic just like... i'm challenging their beliefs and they feel that...

[nikxation]

One thing I find eternally amusing is that if I say the statement "Discounting the toxic crybabys, most people who were mad about what Luke became in the sequels are the older generations who grew up with the OG trilogy and spent 30 years headcanoning him as their perfect special uwu boy"... I can group people in the area into age brackets based on how annoyed they get at the statement... Bonus points if the phrase "but the EU/books!" is spoken.

[gorgeouslypink]

Hello, my lovely followers. I know a lot of you are "states" girls or hard-core followers of Neville and if you are, please skip this post. Love you guys still though <3

Okay so for my girls who are left, I wanted to share a few things that helped me in my void journey that I think can help you.

1. Using the Law in a Way that You Actually Believe Works for You:

One of my friends (@junkyutueme) opened up to me about a lot of their struggles and how they were kind of having a very toxic mindset trying to force themselves to occupy the state of someone who already enters the void and we talked about it and then we discovered that they didn't really believe in states and I advised them to just manifest in a way they actually believe so which is something that sometimes seems "wrong" on loa tumblr.

I've been in the void community for a long time and so exposure to the loa community is inevitable and I've seen it go through so many trends. I remember the days when SATs was THAT thing, yk? Like people would not stop talking about STATs and there were so many success stories. Then, there was a slight shift to Joseph Murphy and how his ideas aligned with Neville and that was a thing and people were succeeding everywhere. Then, we got affirm and persist. Like I know we all remember the 10k challenge. Now, we're on states. I remember the community being obsessed with Sammy Ingram, then went to Electrasoul, now we're on Edward Art.

I'm not saying these methods don't work. They do. They literally become trends because people succeed with them. The problem is that sometimes the loa community thinks that the trend is the only way to manifest. It is not. So are we going to go and tell all those success stories who just affirmed like a robot for the void that they manifested wrong? What about everyone who just used subliminals and got in?

What you assume to be true is true.

If you really don't understand how a method could work or you're trying to do a method but have doubts, it's not going to work. All you're doing is wasting your time.

This isn't to say the law is a waste of time. Please take advantage of the law 😭 It is so real and so powerful and you cannot see all these picture results with subliminals and so many celebrities talking about it and not realize this. I swear almost every successful person has manifested their success, like it's so weird to me when I'm randomnly watching a youtuber or celebrity interview and they reveal a manifestation method that worked for them and they don't even realize that they were manifesting.

But the problem arises when you enter a community that thinks manifesting is whatever is trending at the moment and maybe you're lucky and the trend is compatible with you. But if it's not, you're just wasting your time.

Take some time to read Neville. Personally I like Joseph Dispenza more because I'm a bit more logical. Please remember that these 2 dudes are also not gods or anything, don't adopt their limiting beliefs, just read to understand how they view the law and what works for them. Then, think about yourself. What is a way you have manifested before? If you don't have a way, think about all the methods and explanations and what acctually makes sense to you and do that and only that.

I always stress compatibility on my blog and that applies to the law and manifesting as well. Manifesting in a way compatible to you will guarantee your results, I promise.

2. EFT Tapping

I've talked about this before, I feel like it was a micro trend and then died out but EFT tapping is so powerful and I swear anyone who has acctually tried it will back me up on this.

I use EFT tapping a lot when I'm feeling sad. I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent here but I feel like a lot of people think that once you can enter your void, you're just going to be happy forever. The thing is you're still human and you still have feelings. I didn't revise my past or wipe my memory of it and I went through a lot of trauma which is something that I'm dealing with now and EFT has honestly helped me a lot when I'm feeling down and can't pinpoint why or when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

But going back on track, here is a great EFT track I recommend to help you manifest entering the void:

3. This is just a subliminal that I recommend everyone to add to their playlist. I recommend listening to 30 minutes but just listen how much ever you want to:

If you're in or were in the subliminal community, you know this subliminal but for those who aren't, back when I was in the subliminal community and hadn't entered the void, this subliminal blew up and everyone was getting such great results. I was someone who got a few results but I never really got my main ones including when I used void subliminals but I still tried this and I swear my days improved a lot. So I definetly recommend adding this to your playlist.

You've got this and I truly believe in you 💗

[manie-sans-delire-x]

Thoughts on ASPD stigma.

Even psych professionals often dont comprehend how having CD or ASPD (or NPD or even BPD) is not the same as having "bad person disorder", and they forget that a person without those disorders can be equally toxic or manipulative. ANYONE can be. Even depression or anxiety can contribute to someone being toxic. Drug addicts are known for being highly manipulative and toxic, yet we correctly identify them as the victim and patient who needs serious help. (And you dont even choose to have a mental illness at all, while many addictions start as a choice).

The stigma and defeatist attitude of psych professionals refusing to treat ASPD or see it as impossible leads to confirmation bias and a self-fulfilled prophecy. Even if the ASPD itself cannot be treated, most have co-morbid issues, and a depressed, drug addicted, traumatized sociopath will behave worse than a non-depressed, non-addicted, healthier one. They should focus on other areas and work on what they can. The brain, and life itself, is a system, and making one aspect healthier will make all parts at least a little healthier. Also, they know people with ASPD notoriously do not seek out treatment and tend to reject it, so why not try when someone is willing and take the opportunity to learn what works and what doesnt? Where is the willingness to try? To try challenging their own therapeutic skills? The academic curiosity to learn?

Ive been medically discriminated twice, due to an ASPD diagnosis myself, and due to my own schooling in psych, I know that they straight up teach students that therapy just makes people with ASPD more manipulative. And I'm actually not even denying that, I do think thats true in many cases, but refusing to treat a person with mental illnesses and trauma because they MIGHT become more manipulative in the future is crazy. This way of thinking is not tolerated in any other field- medical, legal. A doctor doesnt (usually) refuse to give treatment, even to a murderer or rapist. A judge cant sentence a person as guilty because they feel like they might commit a crime in future. (And at least committing a crime is objective, while "being manipulative" is subjective, vague, and also not illegal...).

Whenever I work as a mental health professional, I make a point to approach my clients with unrelenting positive regard. I think the best of them even when they're being very symptomatic, even when cursing me out and physically attacking me. I hold the belief that they are trying their best and severely struggling, and I treat every day as a new leaf and fresh start between us. The patient who actually has the illness is the one suffering the most. Its a disorder for that reason, because having it really sucks and negatively impacts a persons life in every category of functioning. No one sane chooses that. If I can do this with an ASPD diagnosis, they certainly are able to.

I think this stigma could be reduced a little by including internal experience and thought process in the diagnosis criteria, or at least discussing it with students, not just focusing on external behavior. This deeper understanding of the psychology behind ASPD may increase empathy and help clinicians see ASPD as a complex, usually trauma-driven mental illness whose presentation can vary a lot between people and that doesnt make up the entirety of a person's personality, instead of just seeing someone choosing to be shitty.

Also I know prison inmates are a conveniently available population to research, but they should really research people with ASPD who are able to keep out of prison and somewhat function in society, and females too, not just violent male convicts. Obviously basing all knowledge on extreme cases and only one sex is going to give a skewed perception.

[velvetvexations]

I have a confession: I used to believe all narcissists were toxic, and I'm pretty sure you've singlehandedly changed my mind.

I came from a very emotionally abusive + neglectful home and my dad has a lot of narcissistic traits (as in, consistent-with-the-DSM type traits, as per a therapist, not just the pop-psych shit) that he does not acknowledge and has never sought any kind of individual MH treatment other than family therapy with me and my mom present, which was very ineffective in terms of changing his behavior or improving my relationship with him.

///////(brief description of emotional abuse in this next paragraph, just a warning, I'm not trying to trauma dump or be triggering it's just some context, you can skip it if you want)

generally, my dad would use my older brother and I as his emotional outlet in ways that were usually humiliating or demoralizing, including manipulating us into arguing/fighting with each other so that he could then break up the fight to assert dominance, or else he would join in the argument by supporting one of us (often me but not always) and criticizing/arguing against the other (often my brother), usually basically verbally browbeating his opponent into submission so he could "win". this was also as an abusive thing towards our mom, bc she hates it when people argue and would always get really uncomfortable until the fight stopped. these tactics generally involved intellectual or academic topics that he would encourage us to have really heated debates over and discourage us from leaving the conversation if we got upset, inevitably resulting in it boiling to a head of name-calling, personal insults, etc.

///////(end abuse description)

it did a number on both my brother and I; we bickered constantly and ended up emotionally distant from each other as adults, and to this day sometimes it feels like he doesn't trust me enough to reveal details of his personal life to me for fear of reprisal. it also basically ruined my relationship with my dad, ofc, especially when I became his sole outlet after my brother left and he stopped being able to scapegoat him.

as a result of this, often when I see narcissistic traits/behaviors in others, or see people mention they have NPD, and especially if they're posting basically any kind of discourse, my gut reaction is fear and aversion, because it's hardwired into my brain that that's associated with imminent abuse. it didn't help that one of the first support spaces that ever recognized what happened to me as abuse was r/raisedbynarcissists, which I'm sure you're not fond of given the amount of pseudoscience and anti-NPD shit on there, and so I fell really deep into that rabbithole of basically just thinking people with NPD were evil.

I did eventually stop going on RBN, bc I ended up majoring in psychology and realizing most of the stuff people said on that subreddit was completely divorced from any kind of validated scientific inquiry and may have even been actively harming my recovery by getting me to fixate on the abuse, along with seeing more and more frequent critiques of the community by people on this site, and I started to evolve and question my idea of what "evil" even means if it could be caused by something involuntary like a disorder (though for a while I remained quietly resistant to the idea that narcissists could be good people even if they weren't necessarily evil).

but I think seeing you post so passionately about transmasc issues and defend us so readily (I'm transmasc) really challenged that and made me question my core beliefs in a big way. here is someone with good opinions that I agree with, someone who is sticking her neck out for another group of people, and who doesn't really stand to gain much aside from some attention from strangers on the internet. in contrast to my dad, who is a misogynist who would often use my AGAB and physical traits as a means to harass me when I was younger, you're someone I can't just say is "toxic" and avoid - it became clear to me that you're someone worth listening to and learning from.

and, you know, the trauma-response voice in my head is always saying "oh, it's attention-seeking behavior, sooner or later the other shoe will drop and she'll abandon us and maybe even turn on us!" but like... even if that's the case, which I'm not even saying it is bc that's a deeply uncharitable and kind of irrational thing of me to think of you, i actually don't care?? you're doing something good here, something worth commending, I don't really care what the motive is, especially since you clearly have your head screwed on right about the morality/ethics side of the issue. You're saying things that need saying. I don't believe in punishing good deeds! and even if eventually you did decide to move on with your life and go pursue some other interest, like, that's also your right, and my abandonment issues should be my own business to deal with and not blame on others.

I'm just glad you're here now advocating for us and with us tbh. so, thank you, not just for defending transmascs but for helping me learn to understand people with NPD better and unpack my own trauma-based biases. genuinely, this change of heart is helping me in my recovery process, is helping me let go of the shame of having some of the same traits and letting me acknowledge them without judging myself, and I just wanted you to know that you had that kind of a positive impact. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this with me. <3 I appreciate and love you a lot, and I'm glad I could be of some help to you!

[natalyarose]

🥀 It's so nice seeing the Vedic Astrology space start to talk about Ayanamsa- when I was first in the space, virtually nobody in the online Nakshatra based Astrology-sphere was talking about or questioning Ayanamsa, or really anything beyond what they were taught.

When I started talking about it, people acted like I was a little cray or just forcing something to fit- granted; I think back then I wasn't the best communicator. I was always good intentioned, but kinda flimsy in my arguments. I would get very stroppy when people challenged me because I would just crumble and think 'they're so right, I'm a stupid spineless lil amoeba, idk nuthin, I'm ashamed that even tried to pretend I know anything :(' lol. Ahh; I was so young, I forget that sometimes. I lacked self-belief, so why would others believe me?

In fact, I said a lotta stuff back then that people treated me like I was crazy for lol, but it's very healing to be seeing people starting to talk about the very same stuff I was on about a few years down the track.

I remember I always wanted to join in on the Twitter Nakshatra exploration, but mannn there was a lot of toxicity in that space. Some brilliant observations and minds at work, but a lot of unfair bias and judgement brought into a sacred practice I found /: (so and so Nakshatra are evil, etc.)

I don't mind what anybody else believes, but I have so much respect for people who are open minded regardless of their own beliefs/ideals 💜 I'm really enjoying Tumblr because from what I've seen, it is a much more balanced place.

I've always had a theory that on Twitter, the word limit on Tweets made people feel inclined to say more cut-throat, black and white things because there's not enough space to eloquently explain your thoughts. Saying (just as an extreme example lol) 'Sun men are evil womanizers', takes less characters than, 'Sun men can be inclined towards not placing much value on attachment, and therefore can exhibit womanising tendencies & in an unbalanced state, very self absorbed, callous behaviours'... wayy too wordy for Twitter. However, I think when talking about astrology it's important to put the TLC in and fully fledge out explanations. This knowledge is so sacred and we are blessed to have access to it, the more sophistication we speak of things with, the more we can do it justice 🌌🍃

I feel astrology is best utilised as tool for bringing people closer to divinity & unity rather than dividing and judging others. Granted, we do live on the physical plane so it is also important to understand division, but why not try to bridge that gap?

It's important that when we find ourselves having the blessing/burden of knowledge in our hands, we use it wisely 🤍🌜

- someone who doesn't know which way is up 😎

[compassionatereminders]

[vent/possible advice bid but no pressure, cw: suicide ideation (others'), cw: possible friend loss (social, not death)]

Hi Kat. It's been a dark week for me. On Sunday, my best friend of 15 years told me that over the past few months, I've been making him feel increasingly unsafe and miserable in our time together. We're long distance, but have hung out for years and confide in each other.

I've done everything in my power to support him through his depressive episodes. I listen, I actively sympathize, I encourage grounding activities and resources. From my experience with my own personal mental health struggles, I sometimes try to employ strategies that work for me. This includes trying to escape black and white thinking/catastrophizing.

---

Months ago, I went wrong by gently challenging his belief that an old, toxic friend group of his was more likely simply incompatible with him/neglectful of his needs rather than actively wished him harm as he believed. The surrounding details about those people would be another long post, but for context, they were people he had met up with regularly to play tabletop games who had a tendency to be rude/inconsiderate. I still emphasized that it was a good thing they were no longer in his life and that I hoped he could find a better group someday.

He stopped trusting me as much after that because he said I was invalidating him and he felt like I had tried to gaslight him. I told him I was only doing my best to judge the situation with what I could gather, that of course he had the full picture, but surely it'd be better for his mental health to not think that his old DnD group actively wanted to make him miserable.

---

Since then, he's been less comfortable with me disagreeing with him about anything, even if it's something neutral that would have started a fun, animated discussion in the past.

Everything came to a head on Sunday when he said he wished he had killed himself years ago and did not believe he had much hope for a fresh start. When I obviously responded that there is always a chance for a fresh start, he accused me of gaslighting him. He threatened to self harm because of my words and acted like I was betraying him by disagreeing with his suicide ideation.

I feel like I've somehow failed him, but I'm not sure what else I was supposed to do. I told him that I still want to be friends with him, but don't want him to feel unsafe with me, so that he should take his time and assess what he needs from our friendship if he wishes to continue it at all. He's still coming online, so I'm glad he hasn't done anything, but I'm not sure what happened. He's lost other online friends this year in a similar way (accusations of invalidation/gaslighting/betrayal over a disagreement), so it's likely a mental health issue I have no say over from thousands of miles away, but I'm still feeling very lost. I was/am? his last remaining friend outside of his family.

I'm not sure what else I could have done. Is there some special middle ground I could have found that validated his thoughts while also stopping a negative thoughts spiral?

I honestly don't think there's anything you could have done. It sounds like he's in a really dark place, and when you're actively looking for the bad angle on everything and refuse any attempt at nuance, you will find your reasons to distrust people and distance yourself regardless of how kind and genuine their intentions are. This conflict is likely not about you or anything you did wrong, but about him projecting his own issues onto you, and I think the best thing you can do is try not to take it personally. Especially if this is happening in all his relationships and not just in relation to you

[butwhatifidothis]

Hi, I'm really sorry if this does come off sounding rude. I've followed your 3h content for a while now so I was around to see the drama with raxis and things like moonlitboar occur. It really does suck and I've seen a lot of toxic edelgard stans myself in the fandom. I do understand how raxis does tend to block evade thus making it a prolonged conflict with no easy end. But I can't help but feel that the discord screenshots you've posted have not helped in resolving the conflict. I don't think that you have been wrong about the culture of toxicity inside the discord but I feel that the discord screenshots may have escalated the conflict since now there are people there who are becoming very paranoid about about "spying" (which in itself a little bit of a grey area because it is a public discord) . But I think that paranoia in the discord now has the potential to turn really ugly and further radicalize more people in the discord. And because there are some neutral people in that discord who do seem to want to just block and ignore/tired of some arguments, I think that an end to the discord screenshots would keep them from being swayed by the paranoia/ a sign of good faith. I really don't think that you are in the wrong when it comes to this whole thing with raxis. I think that raxis's actions and behavior do deserve to be called out in the past and present. But I just feel like trying to call out one person is one thing but a whole discord is just a very huge and impossible challenge. I think that the discord is just best left ignored as these people have clearly made it clear that they really don't want to be reasoned with or want to change and I think that they are getting really dangerous. I really do hope this doesn't come off as both sides are bad because I do believe that this problem has always originated from Raxis. Sorry this got so long and I really do wish you all the best.

It's no problem; I understand where you're coming from.

What I feel about it is this: people from outside the server did not know the depths this server was sinking into. Leaving them alone as we have been would have resulted in them continuing to go on as though everything was fine as long as they confined their rhetoric to a certain spot; I feel it's important to remind people that that is not true, as that would only isolate the problem while doing nothing to actually rectify it or stop it from getting worse (even though this of course isn't going to magically cure everything either, to be clear).

Even well before I posted these specific screenshots, they were paranoid about the entire fandom "persecuting and targeting" them for "no reason," they were paranoid about how everyone is "out to get" Edelgard in FE's general fandom spaces, they were paranoid that every single other person who ever criticizes them is some form of evil bigot (which would normally be a bit of an exaggeration, if it wasn't for them genuinely saying this every single time something like this happens); at worst, this will just be used as yet another scapegoat to continue their self-fulfilling prophecy of being generally disliked in the fandom. At best, this warns people about what's been going on - a miracle could even happen and some of the people in the server can see what the higher ups in their server have been letting slide and leave.

I called out Raxis because of the harm he was (and, frankly, still is) doing to others, and I am doing the same to the Edelgang discord because of the harm their mods have either allowed to happened or have outright participated in themselves. Given the general consensus of people from the outside's reactions (that being shock and/or disgust), I think it's ultimately important to warn people of harmful actors and the rhetoric they spread.

Especially given how they responded. If there was any sign of remorse for what was done - Shandale disavowing their previous beliefs, or if that didn't happen them getting unmodded/banned/some sort of action done from the mod team, or even just some pushback from the general members (something they were more than ready to do in defense of Raxis, and something they were willing to do when these sentiments were first said) - I would have been more than ready to delete the screenshots and apologize for showing them. But their defense of it - that it was "taken out of context," as though what was said could ever be alright to say, as though they do in fact stand by them - shows the importance of calling this behavior out.

They do not think it was that bad. They think these sentiments are okay to have, as long as they are in the "right context." And I don't think it's okay for people to not know that given how dangerous the rhetoric is

[lajikookbolala]

Some thoughts on this shipping discourse

I have already expressed MULTIPLE times how much I hate drama, so this is probably gonna be my last post on this topic. In the future, I might post less, not at all, or often but with only positive stuff. I just don't know if I can mentally handle being on here for much longer. Anyway, here are some thoughts:

Trying to convince Tkkrs they are wrong is not going to work.

I would like to challenge anyone here to think of a time when someone ACTUALLY changed their opinion on something after an online argument. Can't think of one? Exactly. Humans are stubborn, it's just part of who we are. Especially online, nobody is actually open to changing their opinion on things. We argue just for the sake of arguing.

And, we have to remember that Tkkrs are JUST as confident that their ship is real as we (Jkkrs) are. It may be stupid, but as a former Tkkr I would know (I had just joined the fandom and I was young, don't blame me for falling for the Taekook bs). Anyway, when I say I was confident in my belief that's an understatement. Eventually, I did stumble across Jikook, and the story is actually very funny. Again, I had just joined the fandom and hilariously, my mom was starting to get into BTS too. One day, she stumbled across a Jikook video on youtube, called me in the room and showed me, saying "look how in love these two are". I was hesitant at first (still being a tkkr at the time), but I watched it with her, because she was my mother; someone that I knew and trusted. If some random person online had sent me the same video and told me to watch it, I wouldn't have. I would be pissed and ignore it. My point is, to convert me from a Tkkr to a Jkkr, it took my own mother showing me a video, and explaining to me that with her almost 60 years of life experience, she could tell they were in incredibly in love.

Nobody's gonna listen to a random person's opinion on line. At least, not with an open mind.

2. We're just giving toxic people the attention they want.

More than 50% of what I see on Jikook Tumblr recently is answers responding to toxic people's posts, whether those people are tkkrs, antis, or solo stans. Because we answer all their stupid questions, more of these people are coming out of the woodwork to share their own stupid opinions. And then it's just a toxic circle.

Even though it may give you some satisfaction to roast random strangers on the internet (I even enjoy reading roasts by jkkrs sometimes), it's really not worth it. We're just giving them the attention they want. If we just ignored them for a while and didn't answer their questions or respond to them, they wouldn't go away, but we would definitely see less of them on here.

Also, aren't we kinda being hypocrites? When tkkrs leave hate on Jikook posts we all get together to hate on them (which is justified) but we seem to have no problem when jkkrs leave hate on Taekook posts. I know it's different because Jikook is real and taekook isn't, but again, we're not going to convince them by leaving hate comments. We're just gonna piss them off more. Honestly, I think the only thing that would shut tkkrs up once and for all is if Jikook came out with their relationship, and we all know that's not going to happen, at least not anytime soon.

Ok, I think that's the end of my rant. Please let me know if you agree with me or not. If you disagree, I totally understand. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I'm just sharing mine.

ALSO 3 more things:

1: please feel free to send me asks! I will respond to ALL of them as long as they are not toxic.

2: does anyone know any platforms where the Jikook community is welcoming and nice? It may sound stupid but I think that's what I really need right now. I have no BTS friends and would LOVE someone to talk to about them.

3: let me know if you would like me to stay on here. I'm almost definitely not gonna post any more stuff about this drama, but I will 100% post more cute and wholesome Jikook moments if y'all want me to.

I love you all, thank you so much 💜

[hwnglx]

hi! if you’re open to it, can you do a dynamic reading on sunoo and sunghoon? thank you! 🤍

sunoo and sunghoon's dynamic based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt

what is their dynamic like?

9ofp+devil, 5ofswrx+queofcrx, 10ofc&sun

wow. these two definitely had to go through some challenging times to get to the place they're at now. see, when they're together, they actually make a beautiful team. the 10 of cups is basically the happiest a connection can get, combined with the card of happiness, the sun, it's like a match made in heaven. their friendship is based on pure moments of joy, harmony and warmth. i really think the existence of the other lights up both of their lives.

however, it seems like sunghoon and sunoo are on pretty different pages. sunoo is extremely self-reliant. in a way that's almost getting toxic and destructive. he was (probably still is) in this "i don't care about anyone but me" mindset. i honestly see it as a protection shield at this point. i think this boy has been through a lot and is overly protective over who he lets into his heart. sunghoon seemed to have struggled connecting with his bandmate for a while. there seemed to have been a period where he truly wanted to be there for him, but he couldn't because sunoo didn't seem to let anyone in. i'm getting feelings of powerlessness and frustration, he just couldn't connect to this bandmate although he wished to. tbh, this seems to have been a very specific period, since many members felt that way towards him. it has gotten better since, but i think there still is a certain emotional disconnect because of sunoo's protective barrier.

how does sunghoon feel towards sunoo?

aceofc, 4ofprx, 5ofp, 6ofsw, empr&5ofw

sunghoon cares a lot about sunoo. like a lot. and it seems to cause an inner conflict in him. it's like this constant battle between genuinely wanting to help his bandmate and be there for him, but also accepting a person as closed off as sunoo just can't be helped. it seems like whenever he tried getting to him, he'd hit a dead end every time. sunoo can be a very hot and cold type of person. in one moment he can be incredibly sweet, soft and invested in others, but also be extremely selfish in the next. it can be confusing, so in a way it's hard to know where you really stand with him? i think, much of sunghoon's frustration comes from that. his friend just isn't open about his true emotions. so even if you care about him a lot, you never really know if your attempt to help had any effect on him or not. sunghoon's kinda tired of that.

how does sunoo feel towards sunghoon?

hangm, 6ofp&pagofw, 9ofw+9ofc

this is kinda cute. despite sunghoon feeling pretty helpless, sunoo actually feels like he's getting a lot of support from his friend. he thinks that his bandmate is someone who stands by his side whenever he feels insecure and helps him find more trust and belief in himself. the hanged man does signify that there was a time where their friendship was pretty stagnant. but, i honestly think that sunghoon is one of the few members sunoo actually feels very comfortable with. he doesn't feel the need to put up a shield as much with him, he can let his guard down a little. you know how it's important to spend your time with people, who make you feel like you're being your best, most authentic self. and i think that sunghoon is an existence like that to sunoo. he seems grateful to be in the same group as him. however, he just doesn't express it as openly, which is why there is this continuous disconnect. well, sunoo just feels a lot in general, so it can be hard for him to express it without it getting overwhelming.

[creature-wizard]

I can’t stop being angry, I’m so angry about everything that happened and I’ve tried to get rid of it but I can’t. It’s like it just festers over and over again and then I say something I didn’t mean to and I ruin everything. It just doesn’t stop. I’m always anxious and sad and angry, it’s like my brain is frozen in time, back in the past but also in the present. I just can’t get away from them and I’m so cruel to everyone and nobody fucking cares. I’m sorry

Hey anon, what you're describing right there sounds an awful lot like PTSD and emotional dysregulation. Those are horrible, even terrifying things to have to deal with, but that doesn't mean it has to be like this (or at least, be this severe) forever.

If there's awful people you're stuck with in real life right now, my post "I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?" has resources. It may not have all of the resources you'll ever need, but it can get you started.

And it might not be possible to get out of your current situation right now (or for awhile yet), but that doesn't mean you'll be stuck there forever. Nor does it mean there is nothing you can do. Here are some things you can do online:

Research coping strategies for depression, emotional dysregulation, and PTSD. Even if you don't have an official diagnosis, you can still research coping strategies for any condition you suspect you have, and see if they help. You can start by searching on DuckDuckGo, Tumblr, whatever. Like plug "depression coping strategy" or "PTSD coping strategy" or whatever into Tumblr's search bar; you'll find things.

Get in contact with other people who have personal experience managing and coping with these things. Follow their blogs. See what they can offer you.

Look up therapy worksheets (like this one, for example) to fill out.

Change who and what you expose yourself to online; EG, unfollow blogs that reinforce toxic beliefs (EG, "no one will like me if I don't have money") and follow blogs that help you build a healthier view (EG, "I am worthy of love no matter what.") Spend less time engaging with content that reminds you that bad things are happening, and more time engaging with content that reminds you that there is hope and goodness out there.

Associate with people who sympathize with the challenges your mental illness gives you, rather people who validate a deliberate choice to act on your unhealthiest impulses. ("Sometimes my mental illness makes it hard to act in ways I would like" and "I should try to be kind when I can" are two statements that can and should coexist.)

At all costs, avoid people who make you feel like you have to be this way forever, or that there's literally nothing you can do to manage your symptoms ever - basically, the mental health doomers.

Your depression might tell you that you can't change and nothing can ever get better for you, but depression is a big fucking liar. It fucks up your thinking and makes you inclined to believe all kinds of terrible things that aren't true.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this; none of this stuff should have happened to you. But there are things to try that might help, even if you're not in an optimal situation right now.

[crystallinestars]

OMG I almost completed my response to you on my phone... then the Tumblr app refreshed and nuked it all. So sad 😿 No such thing as a too long response from you tho ! Your thoughts are always really interesting to read.

For real though, same with wanting to celebrate hahaha. Actually tomorrow I might go get myself milk tea🧋to mark the occasion hahaha. Let's celebrate this banner and Pride Month 😼

I figured that the lack of Kaveh in the banner was due to the whole Destroyer of Worlds thing, but to be over a year, it feels like overkill at this point. 😭 I guess I'll keep an eye out for any Nilou-related banner leaks, as that might signal Kaveh's return...

I'm so shook about those localization issues 😭 The masculine pronouns thing, that's a REALLY big mess up on the part of the translators!! I don't want to go full dunking on them or anything but it's really weird that such errors were made... And pushing the whole personal beliefs thing is really wrong... Like translating CN, JP to EN in a way that conveys the original nuance is definitely challenging, whyyy would they just toss in their own agenda as well...?

I wonder if CN->JP and CN->KR deals with any similar issues... I've heard that for some non-English, non-CJK localizations, the translation is first run through a second language and then the target language, which I feel really makes things even more murky. 🫠

Yeah when such fans make sexuality HCs, they fixate most on either exclusively gay or exclusively lesbian. Probably it's cos if they chose anything else, they feel that the possibility of their fave (or the characters in their fave ship) being shipped with the opposite gender is too threatening. Ofc they could have fun with these HCs and enjoy making them with their friends, but these days it seems like they aren't even having fun anymore and they're just using these HCs as a reason to get mad at + harass those who disagree with them...

And now that you mention it, indeed I don't think I've ever seen a straight HC ! It's as if they are too afraid to do this hahaha. Or like, they use the most stereotypical criteria to determine what is "straight" and what is not. Flashback to the Kaveh rant from before hahahah. Like these people are all about bringing down the binary+gender roles til it comes to BL stuffs then they are suddenly OK with the heteronormativity that they are supposedly against. 💀 But it is pretty weird that they try to grasp at anything to prove "not straight, not straight!" Like how come they can't just make their HC in peace without needing to aggressively prove things, without going sicko mode on people with different HCs? 🤨 As far as I know, I haven't seen people from our lil corner of Kavehnation the fandom attempt to storm some rando's post with the intention of going "no!!!! ___ should be with a [man/woman/etc]!!!!" Like we definitely have strong words about the state of things, but overall we're minding our own business without having to bug people who think differently from us.

Oh Mihoyo, look what you've created... I guess that in fandom, BL/GL stuffs tend to be most appealing for some reason. So they're able to keep around the most unhinged, rabid parts of the fandom because of the massive BL/GL ship pandering that they do... haizz.

The thing about toxicity in Chinese fandom is interesting!!! 😲 When you say that there are the fans who fight over BL and NL ships, is it like those old-school ship wars? Like "my ship is better than yours!!! 😡" thing minus the 2020s homophobia accusations...?

And you mention the Russian fandom!! This makes me remember when last year, I corresponded with a Russian Genshin enjoyer. She was pretty much exclusively into BL ahahah. But I think I've seen Russian Genshin artists who make NL stuff !

I've witnessed a bit of Vietnamese fandom, only on Twitter though and it seems that NL is decently popular. ScaraLumi in particular seems to be a hit with many VN fans, popular enough to warrant the creation of a zine (which I wanted to preorder but was too late for!! but I digress again)

It was a pleasant surprise to see that Aventurine has two popular NL ships ^^ I could def see AvenStelle becoming the next ChiLumi hahaha, I know that there was even an artist who iirc even drew a ChiLumi + AvenStelle thing cos to her they have such similar vibes/dynamics. And yeah I'm hoping that they don't try to tie Aventurine to Ratio and do the same pandering stuff that they did in Genshin...

And it's so unfortunate for Kaveh. 😞 It's the reason why people think of him as just "ship bait," cos of the way Mihoyo treats him, and then how the fandom treats him in turn...

I'm surprised by the number of NL ships for him though! I only knew about KavehLumi, Kavelou, Kaveh+Faruzan, and then from your previous responses Kaveh+Candace ! I didn't know that he's been paired with Layla too :o (Speaking of Layla, I've been getting into Alhaitham+Layla recently which is apparently rarepair 😪)

And OMG KavehLumi week!!!! I looked at the prompts, I could feel the gears turning and the inspiration cooking hahahah. I will see if I could do some writing stuffs for this (I wish I could do art too, but alas I have no art skill).

For Kaveh food, I'd like to do mostly writing stuff, be it just solo focus, with Lumine/Nilou, or with OC ! I would like to fully understand his personality tho, as I feel that I don't fully have a grasp of like... his POV I guess? I don't want to mischaracterize him. 😅 Like I guess for me, writing Kaveh would be easier compared to more brooding types like Scara, Xiao, etc. but still... And I'd also like to read more books so that I could find ways to improve my writing quality. I guess whatever food I end up cooking, it'll mostly be for the sake of writing exercise, although I'm hoping it would be at least sufficiently readable.

Big thanks for your kind words!!! So 4th member is Bennett. My lineup is now Layla, Faruzan, Scara, Benny. I'm a lot more satisfied with this team compared to my previous one because it feels like everyone serves a purpose and gets the job done hahahah. Like my previous team was just smashing and bashing everything with elemental reactions, but this new team utilizes mechanics like shields, supports, etc... I feel good hahahah.

Big thank you always for the interesting discussions and kind responses!!!! Hope you have a warm and peaceful day 🙌🏻

Welcome back 🍓Anon! So sorry to hear about tumblr deleting your text 😢 Maybe next time you could try typing it out on the notes app on your phone, and then copy-pasting it? I don’t think you have the luxury of saving your ask as a draft like I do.

lol go get that milk tea and get me a cup too! There’s a lot to celebrate this month already 😎

Yeah, the pronoun thing was a huge error on the translators’ part, but I don’t fault them for it too heavily. I don't speak or understand Chinese so feel free to correct me if what I say is wrong, but as far as I know, Chinese as a language is not as gendered as English is. A lot of the time you can only determine the gender of people based on context, and they often use gender-neutral terms.

This is something I saw someone else point out, so I can’t prove if this is correct, but in Chinese, they have a special gender-neutral term when referring to deities (that's why all the Aeons in HSR are referred to as 'they'). Going off of this, I can see how the translators could have gotten mixed up, or not have known the gender of some of the characters (mind you, this mistake was made long before Nahida and Arlecchino were revealed), so they defaulted to masculine pronouns.

I’ve seen English localizers push their political agendas in the anime and games they translated (ex: miss kobayashi's dragon maid), but I don’t think Hoyoverse’s translators fall into that category. Considering how popular Genshin is, I would imagine people would have pointed out long ago if there were huge discrepancies between English and Chinese dialogue. That doesn't mean the translators aren't including biases in their translations, we just don't know for sure. But if they are, then it's not as egregious/obvious as with Kobayashi, for example.

And you’re right, the translation for other languages all comes from a single language, which happens to be English. The gender mistake wasn’t found in CN, KR, and JP, but EN and all other languages had it. So it’s safe to say they use English as the baseline for the other translations (maybe there are some exceptions, but I'm not aware of them).

lol you are absolutely right about the hypocrisy of certain BL/GL shippers! They want to dismantle the binary and gender roles, and get upset at straight pairings for promoting traditional gender roles, but then use these exact stereotypes for their queer ships. If you call them out on their hypocrisy, they’ll claim it’s “better/more interesting” when it’s done with a gay pairing vs a straight one.

Heck, even in real life I’ve seen a male celebrity post an innocent photo of him and his wife online, and some comments were saying how seeing a straight couple is boring, and that gay couples are more interesting. Like damn, do queer people only exist as pure entertainment for them?

Mihoyo is definitely to blame for feeding into the delusions of toxic shippers, but I also have to wonder why BL and GL is so popular in the first place. BL has a huge market, and it predominantly consists of women. I did some research into why women in particular like BL, but to be honest, I still don’t get it. It’s not a mindset I can ever understand or relate to. Similarly, a lot of fujoshi can’t understand the mindset of women who like NL or self-insert, and so we get a lot of conflict regarding shipping.

There are as many outlooks on shipping as there are people in the world, and there will always be conflict. Ever since the invention of the internet, it became harder to avoid conflicting opinions since it's so much easier to find them now.

Regarding toxicity in the Chinese fandom. My friend never divulged any details, so I can’t say for sure, but I imagine ship wars there are as you described them. I have also seen some Chinese fanartists have similar grievances as us regarding BL baiting and delusional behaviors of fujoshi. It seems to be a universal thing.

VN fandom sounds heavenly 😭 omg.

Alhaitham x Layla is definitely cute! There’s an artist I follow that made some really good fanart of them (https://mobile.x.com/luckylalal/media). I also like Alhaitham x Lisa haha. I feel like every NL ship is a rarepair, barring certain MC ships. It’s just so dry in this fandom 😭 But whenever someone expresses how NL shippers have it rough in fandom, the toxic people come out of the woodwork to mock us, saying “The straights like to act so oppressed, but if they just go outside, they’ll see a ton of straight couples 🙄” and I just 🤦‍♀️. Because first of all, fictional ships and real life are completely different things! Second of all, not only straight people like NL ships. And third, bi and pan people in different-sex relationships exist too😩 But not in their eyes, clearly :/ But I digress.

If you write anything for Kavehlumi week, I will be over the moon! I would love to have a lot of content to share on my Twitter to spread the love! No pressure, though.

If you’re looking to get a better grasp on Kaveh’s character, I recommend his hangout if you haven’t done it already. I sometimes replayed it to remind myself of how Kaveh actually is, because the fandom's portrayal of him does him so dirty. The interdarshan event was also pretty good at showing his personality and values, so if you can find a youtube video of it, it might help.

As a word of advice from a fellow writer, the stuff you write is better than you think. You might write something and think it’s cringy or not good, but there are people out there who will love it and say it’s amazing. We are our own worst critic, but that doesn't mean others think the same of our work the way we do. So don’t be afraid to share your writing!

Your Scara has everything he needs, honestly. Two of the best buffers in the game, and the best 4 star shielder plus a healer. Congrats on having built your first proper team!

I'm glad you enjoy reading my thoughts because I enjoy reading yours too! You're very sweet, 🍓 Anon ☺️ I hope you have a great day yourself (no more sleeping for only 3 hours)!

[egg-emperor]

You see an irredeemable bad guy like Eggman and think I'd like this guy if he had a change of heart/someone "fixed" him. I see an irredeemable bad guy like Eggman and think wow I'm so interested in his behavior, actions, and motives that I actually see in the game and am entertained by it and want to dive into his mind and find out what makes him tick- also I want to see just how evil he can get because it's sexy and cool lol

I'm fascinated first and foremost by how different he is to me. That's what makes him fascinating and entertaining, how he'll do things I don't endorse and would never do in real life but through him I get to put myself in someone else's shoes and see the world through their very different perspective, good or bad.

He doesn't need to share my morals and standards and resonate with me in all the same ways to feel joy, amusement, and love for him. It's not the only way a character can be relatable, there are small things that still can be and how it's possible despite him being a bad person makes it interesting and complex.

And he does still have admirable traits such as passion for interests, confidence and determination, skills and creativity, and charisma as he manages to be a funny and entertaining character. That alone makes him human, without him needing a good side, empathy, or agreeable morals and standards.

Being "human" isn't just having certain conventual feelings, beliefs, personality and empathy. It's characteristics, personality, thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and motivations of any kind- not just the commonly acceptable and conventional, pure, non toxic ones. There's no definitive checklist.

To me, being human is realizing there's something fascinating and great about different we can all be but in the end we're all still human. We're all the same species and all have some kind of personality, beliefs, feelings, things we like and hate no matter what they are, or which kinds we have or lack.

No matter how evil Eggman is, how violent and murderous can be, how much he lacks empathy, how sadistic he can be, and how irredeemable he is- he's still human because all humans are capable of this just as much as good things but not everyone does all of it.

Eggman does things I'd obviously never endorse in real life (but apparently it needs to be said) and I don't see as excusable, justifiable, or possible to ignore or downplay in any way. I like to embrace it and find it entertaining because the game intended for it to be. And I can find other things about him lovable and relatable too.

That's why I like Eggman exactly as he is and how he'll always be irredeemable evil. It makes him interesting combined with the things that can still be relatable and lovable despite his evil, though his evil itself is enjoyable too. It's not "boring" for a bad guy to be pure evil just like it isn't for a hero to be pure good.

I think acting like Eggman is boring or unlikable for not being hugely relatable to the audience is a very limited way of looking characters. What matters most is that they're still entertaining and it's even better when they have the complexity of still being relatable in some ways too, not limited to moral goodness.

I wish I could find more people who won't accuse me of being a person for liking and accepting the evil and dark parts of Eggman. And find more who see beauty and interesting things in characters being so different to us and how we get to challenge our way of seeing things and explore things we wouldn't do.

I wish there wasn't a push for all characters to always be relatable to the audience, do what's conventional and morally good, be wholesome and pure, and teach some kind of moral lesson. It's not the only way to write. It limits creativity, diversity, and variety and strips the complexity of the characters and dynamics.

But that's part of why I'll always keep loving and appreciating this lovable bastard Eggman exactly as he is in the games. It just makes me want to create for and explore every side of his character and appreciate them even more! 💜

[thenewfuture]

Thank you, thank you Sparks. It's been a long time coming, but we are finally done with this first arc on this blog. Which means; it's time for our very first:

ARC OVERVIEW!

Now what is an "Arc Overview", I hear you ask. An Arc Overview is where I give you the general rundown of everything in this arc; things I liked doings, things I didn't like, maybe some fun facts of things that didn't make it in, etc. With all of that out of the way, let's take dive i to the "Jabberwock Island Arc Overview"!

....

........

...............

Really? You all made it and stuck with me through this thing? Seriously? Wow... Thank you all so much. I first want to take this time and just show my gratitude for you all, for being here, supporting me and the story of this blog. It really means a lot to me.

I want to give special attention to @etriansquad-yssey, @dtgvxg, @daebreaker1, @xsuicunex2, @spyrkle4, @overanalyst556, and every anon that has been here since day 1. You all are amazing, and without you this story wouldn't have gone anywhere. So I thank you for all the support you've given me. It truly mean a lot to me in ways words can't even begin to say.

Another shout-out and thank you to is to @ghostshadow-k-r, without they didn't need to draw Kebi sprites for me, but they did, and I am eternally grateful for that. And thanks to you, our little mascot looks even more adorable!

And it's no secret that I have been inspired by Mod Bubbles, Mod Poi, and Mod Creeper's blogs of ASOOT, NWPM/DTFA, DRSurvivor respectfully, so if they see this I want to thank them again for their hardwork and for inspiring me to pursue a story blog of my own. And one more thank you to Mod Poi as well, I enjoy our talks together and your help. I really appreciate that.

But yeah, hoo wee, onto the actual arc itself. And, I feel it didn't that long at all, I mean time flew by so fast, like-

.....huh? ....Oh, I'm sorry, what? .....It's been long...like a long, long time..... W-Well, okay then....h-how long could it have been...?

A YEAR?!?!?!!?!?

That's not good.... Uh, heh heh heh......

Well, I'm sorry about that. This arc did take much longer than I was anticipating.... But with work and personal life shenanigans, as well as my mental health states, and sometimes just being not motivated or tired to work on the story did slow it down a bit...

I hope to not have this be the precedent for arcs going forward and will try my best going forward, but I think I can say the next arc won't take as long.... I hope....

Not only helped by times even I was tired of where I was in the story and just wanted to move on to the next beat because it sounded much more fun. Or simply because I forgot what I wanted to do or have characters say in certain moments.

But there was a lot I did like in this arc. I liked writing Hajime and his struggles, and the whole side arc with Mahiru was done well, I liked getting the chance to include Kebi, that was fun, and getting to show off Tenten.

But there are two big elephants we need to address, so let's do it now shall we?

Ah yes, Nagito Komaeda. Danganronpa's icon and forever meme boi. Who I am sure sparks no discourse whatsoever with his presence.........haaaa...

Writing Nagito has certainly been challenging, as you've seen I'm o the belief that not everyone should have immediately forgiven him and Nagito shouldn't be babied because of his disease and health. He is smart enough to solve the crimes or at the very least, have some suspects in mind when it comes to the class trials so he is very intelligent. And while Nagito has gotten his share of humble pie from the anons, there have also come some toxic fudge as well drizzled in there. I need not go any further for many of you to know what I'm talking about. And maybe I have mistakenly gave the impression that this kind of behavior was allowed because this arc went on for so long, but even so, there have been numerous moments where the line has been crossed.

This arc has been about characters coming to terms with their actions and striving to better somewhat, and they can't get better if they are constantly stepped down on when the attempts are honestly being made. Redemption is not an easy path for those who choose to walk it, but they also shouldn't be deliberately run over either.

But for the most part, it was pretty tame. I mean, could you imagine if there was another character like this who I may have written worse and have constant discourse battles in my ask box about this concept everytime they were on screen? Pfft! Wouldn't that be wild! Ahahaha-

Oh...it's you...... Heeeeeeeee.........Hiiiiiiiiii.......

Look, I have not hid this. Hiyoko is not my favorite character in this cast. Probably in this whole franchise. But even still, I tried to make do with Hiyoko to the best of my abilities, but as you can see, it didn't bode well with a select few.

"Unsalvageable" Many claimed Hiyoko was unsalvageable, and it's easy to see why. I will admit. I may have gone overboard with the annoying bully part of character, which as you can see brought an onslaught of dicussions and ask from her many fans or "simps" as me and Mod Poi like to address them by. And to think...this would have been so much worse...

I think it's about time I tell you all what I initially had planned for Hiyoko that would make many hate me, huh? So I'm pretty sure after Hajime's therapy and intervention session, we would just time skip to when Mikan wakes up. She has amnesia, can't remember anything, yada yada yada. All that stays the same. Except one thing; Hiyoko's there this time. And she would claim that Mikan is merely faking her amnesia. And so to prove it, Hiyoko would go see Mikan alone, bully her some more like pulling on her hair, hitting her etc, and even trying to kill her as revenge, the same way Mikan did to her. Everyone comes in just in time to stop her, then Mahiru would end her friendship with Hiyoko, and the arc would essentially end the same.

........So you can see why I dropped that, right? I'm going to claim what I rewrote was better, it was still kind of messed up, but I needed Hiyoko to truly awaken, have her eyes opened and truly reflect on what she had done. All Hiyoko does is deflect and dismiss any sort of consequence that comes her way, Hiyoko needed to be face with the reality and to stop living in her own little bubble. That was I was trying to go for with her here. And if I ever did wrong by her, then I apologize and I will try to make her better as the arcs go on.

All in all, writing this blog has been fun, stressful, calming, exhausting, exciting, and frustrating. ...But I loved doing it. And once again, I'm thankful to you all for sticking it with me this far.

I'm going to take a little break to fine tune some parts of the next arc going forward, but I also have some posts planned to stay in touch with you guys. So until then look forward to that, and I will you see you all when we return for the next arc which is...the Future Foundation Arc......

....oh god.... A-Ahem! See you all then!

-Mod

[slava-perunu]

Finding Identity in Purity is a Mistake.

One of the things I've really had to challenge myself on, as somebody who has been pagan for 15 years now, is how insular and venomous some pagan spaces used to be online compared to how they are now, and how much the culture shaped me. At one point I was a member of a very popular Ásatrú (Heathenry as a term really hadn't caught on at the time and the term wasn't as loaded then) group, with maybe five thousand members. I was a teenager, and like most teenagers, I wanted to be accepted. Badly. And this was The Group. It had big, important community members in it. The culture was aggressively reconstructionist. There were Rules, both written and unwritten, and if you followed them you got to dogpile people who didn't. It was incredibly toxic.

This group was very proud of its "Shame Culture." That's not me trying to coin a term to badmouth them, that's literally what they called it. If you stuck out, you were Shamed. There were frequent threads dedicated to mocking members who were bullied out of the group. If you were out of line with the group Opinion, you'd be dogpiled until you lost your cool, and then banned for being angry.

As you can imagine, after a while I quietly left, but that group left its mark. I was out of the community, but I still struggled with its demand of absolute historical purity. Even more so when many of the group's Approved Beliefs began being contested by new research and being less popular. Suddenly well defined pantheons were no longer the law of the land and verboten deities (It's Loki, I'm talking about Loki) were acceptable, and somehow at 20 I felt like an old man yelling at clouds. Those things couldn't be right. Blót meant blood and Loki was made up and there was a perfect historical recreation of Real, Authentic Heathenry that was just waiting to blossom, after all the fake heathens and Wiccatru crazies (labels that were, upon reflection, aimed by group members almost exclusively at women and LGBT+ people) were chased out or shamed into submission. This is not a healthy mindset.

I hope it is obvious that I have not retained these beliefs. I regret ever giving them credence. It's a shame that I fell for them, but I am also not surprised that I did. They prey exactly upon the worst excesses of the feelings that can draw young people (especially young men, I'd say) to paganism in the first place- this idea of a unique, rugged, authentic spirituality hidden behind misinformation that only the brave and intelligent care enough to find. I was an angry, socially isolated young nerd, and that's exactly the thing that angry, socially isolated young nerds desperately want to hear: "Not only are you special, you're special on a cosmic level. You're one of the only guys who worship the True Gods in the Right Way."

I feel like moving towards Slavic Paganism helped me break away from that toxic mindset. First, in that it allowed me to be a beginner again as an adult. No expertise, no seniority, I had to sit down and listen. Second, in what I heard when I did: "We don't know." That was terrifying to hear when I started. What if I did something wrong? What if I messed up? Tearing the bandage off and realizing that those things mattered less than I had believed allowed me to grow.

Third, and probably silliest, was that it's called Slavic Paganism. I know, it's got other names, but those are, uh, complicated. But that second word was important. "Heathenry" lets you be separate. You're not a nut like those eclectic Pagans, you're a real Heathen. You tell somebody in America you're a Rodnover (or whatever other label you might choose) and they ask you what that means, and you mumble back "pagan" as quiet as you can. You have an identity beyond that, but you're not better because of it.

Don't fall for the grift that young me did. Wanting historical authenticity is perfectly fine. I still try and make my practice as historically accurate as I can, and people peddling outright lies as divine truth are still causing harm. But basing your identity on Purity is another story. Don't chase Purity, because you'll never catch it. It's a bald faced lie. The chase is long and fruitless and you hurt people as you pass. If you become obsessed with Purity, it'll eat you from the inside out and turn you cruel. Purity is the white whale of reconstructionist paganism, and it'll drag us all under if we let it.

[inthereellife]

(This is gonna sound absurd, but I promise I mean this sincerely)

What are some ways I can dress that'll subtly incorporate being queer in some way?

The 4th of July is coming up. Cutting my entire family off is not an option, as there are people there that I dearly love. But there are members of the family that are not safe to be out around, and there are people who might technically be "safe", but will take any overt symbol of queerness as a challenge or even an attack on their beliefs (I know, I know.)

With so much of America being anti-lgbt+, I don't really want to celebrate patriotism, but I don't want to miss the family events coming up because 1- I miss certain people there. 2- I suspect certain people there may also potentially be queer, and I don't want to leave them there with toxic influences without someone there who will at least say "Ooh hey I don't think that's a view shared by everyone, but let's not talk about that now, alright Auntie?"

BUT I am 31 and have spent most of my life blending in with straight conservatives. My immediate family knows the truth now, but my outing in one occasion was violent- though we are on tentatively civil terms now (I don't want to risk being "antagonizing" by wearing something overtly queer. Even if it doesn't get a violent reaction, it could easily be seen as me trying to "start a fight" by family).

BUT, I have a large family, with lots of cousins, and I know- even just through statistics alone it is very very unlikely that I'm the only queer one. I want my wardrobe to at least HINT to other people in the community that I'm also queer. It would also make ME feel better to wear something queer in the middle of all that blind conservative patriotism.

Like, I heard of one lesbian with a conservative family wearing Home Depot merch? I'm asexual, and I don't know if that's too (idk the right way to put this sorry) lesbian-coded to be appropriate for me to wear? A friend suggested wearing a men's button up but styled femininely?

Does anyone have more recommendations? I feel like I'm trying to put on armor but it needs to be secret armor. I just don't know if a button up will be enough.

[trixcuomo]

Whats the most challenging part of writing in a 'modern wow' setting? Where do you draw inspiration from?

That is an excellent question! Long answer to this, so I do apologize...

I've been writing fanfiction for years, but writing for Trixany was a challenge because I wanted to parody (of course lol) modern influencer culture, which can have its toxic side. I actually strongly dislike some aspects of it. I write Trixany as a hungering character, desperate to fill a void by seeking all this attention and fame. That's her biggest flaw; wanting the fame so badly is her blindspot. The void inside her? That is the wound caused by the attack on Quel'thalas.

So! As for the biggest challenge in translating influencer culture into a Warcraft universe? I guess... suspending belief. You can use "comm" or "scrying orb" instead of the word "cellphone" or "television/screen." A lot of us roleplayers say something is of Goblin or Gnomish make if it seems sort of modern, as is already the pattern in Warcraft. That's how we fill in the blanks. That's easy. But how do you get people to go along with there being a celebrity gossip show, based in Dalaran? How do you convince readers that there are rival Warcraft girl bands that vibe like the Pussycat Dolls versus Destiny's Child? Without it seeming so ludicrous, you get thrown out of immersion and can't enjoy it?

I fall in love with these ideas, and then I NEED them, and they have to happen. So I have to streeetch and reach into the furthest extremes of the Warcraft storytelling spectrum. Maybe the wild-ass Goblin aesthetic is on the far end, and something most familiar to fantasy, with Human/Elf/Dwarf interactions, something Tolkien, is on the nearer end. Somewhere on the Goblin end, we have Kaja-Cola and that maybe feels like a modern company that would have a Fanta-esque girl band to promote its soda. Haris Pilton is barely, scarcely lore-abiding. But as an Elf, she probably falls in the middle? And I can draw a line safely from Warcraft Goblins to Haris (if she even really exists), to Trixany.

I find these Warcraft touchpoints and build them out. Haris Corp has become this huge, scary company with Goblin modernity and Elf sophistication beyond what Trixany can even imagine. So anything Trixany does as an influencer now seems normal by comparison, I hope. More believeable.

Usually, whatever makes me laugh really hard or that I become occasionally obsessed with in pop culture is my inspiration. I usually don't tell myself, 'No, that can't happen' when it comes to stories. IRL I may get nervous about trying something new, but when it comes to writing, which I love so badly, that's my moon shot. I will take the moon shot every time and imagine a way to make a cool idea with real potential happen, no matter what. Writing is one of our few spaces where we can set ourselves free and really be ourselves, so of course you have to try!

The Cody Rhodes post happened because I was following that, and I'm a WWE fan. I've been falling down a PubLIZity rabbit hole, so that might inspire something soon, too? If I can see it, I'm gonna try to reach it because that's exciting and you might make someone belly laugh, smile, brighten their day! Writing is so fun for me.

Oh, and I'll say my favorite modern-day Warcraft writing I've done on here was inspired by Lady Gaga's Marry the Night music video. If you read the Dalaran City Clinic post and play the YouTube video in there simultaneously, almost the entire post actually hits right in synch with the narration as a parody. I love Lady Gaga so much, and that music video is incredible. I really wanted to honor that and combine it with my Warcraft fangirl side.

Also, I just love Kael'thas showing up in that post as the nurse. It works so good; it cracks me up. That post just captures Trixany really well and how I translate modern-day pop culture into Warcraft writing. Guess the First Aid trainer in Legion Dalaran was the touch point on that one, lol!!

I usually have asks turned off, but I'm pleased you reached out. I seriously enjoy your writing too Nix, so that was cool of you! Nice ask.