#not even talking about the whole yeagerist taking over thing

[bcdwhcre]

“Paranoia,” Levi x Reader

Ship: Levi x Reader

Summary: the paranoia of not knowing where or what happened to Levi.

Warnings: spoilers if you haven’t seen or read the recent season

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Levi had promised to be back at a specific time, he promised you to not worry about what he had planned for Zeke. He told you to stay put where you were and to stick with the others.

You huffed out a breath as you watched him walk out into the distance before fully disappearing, your mind going off to different places and worrying about whether this would be the last time you’ll see him again.

You tried to get rid of the thought, knowing how capable he was of taking care of himself and always coming back home to you but there was always that lingering thought inside of your head waiting to pop and ruin the rest of your days as you wait for him to return.

You stayed with Armin and Mikasa, the importance of sticking together was evident against what was currently happening here which was the rumbling and the yeagerist.

But as days started to pass and you haven’t seen or heard any sign of Levi, you heart began to pound inside of your chest repeatedly the more time has gone by but you stayed put and followed through with the mission of escaping with everyone out of the walls and away from the brainwashed citizens.

As you sat in the back of the cart, Annie across from you, you finally released the breath you were holding in during the whole escape plan. She looked at you confused but with understanding how you can get, she’s known since joining the scouts and working with you.

You remained quiet as they talked with each other the ride out while your eyes were glued to the sky, the ache in your heart only growing more as you wondered what he could be doing at this very moment.

You didn’t know things went wrong with Zeke, you didn’t know he risked to blow himself up to kill Levi and you didn’t know just how injured he was. You knew nothing and that’s what worried you, every mission he went on worried you to death until you saw his face.

“We’ll be running into Hange soon.” Armin spoke up, causing a sigh to escape your lips and your eyes remained on the sky with your hands rested on your chest.

You didn’t know the amount of damage that was going to come in a few minutes and you didn’t know just how bad things were going to get from here on out. You thought you had seen ugly but the closer you got, the more ugly things were going to get.

As the group gotten closer to where they were supposed to meet up, the giant cart Titan hovering over the scene with the others. You were exhausted from everything that had been going on, you haven’t even gotten a chance to eat, to sleep, to shower and it was slowly eating away at you.

“Is that the captain?” One of them spoke, making your head snap up even after being stuck in your thoughts.

Your eyes scattered around looking at the group that was ahead and finally your eyes settled to a body laid out with bandages wrapped around, covering most of his face and body.

Your breath hitched, almost tripping to get to your feet and jump off the cart once they came to a full stop. Hange eyes met with yours before your feet started rushing towards where he laid fast asleep.

“Y/N,” Hange started but you didn’t pay any attention until you were in front of him, staring at his face in horror.

Your shaky hands had reached out, not knowing what to do, where to touch without causing him pain even though he was well knocked out cold. A shaky breath released from your trembling lips, trying to hold your emotions in and trying to pull yourself together.

Finally your hand softly brushed his hair back, half of his face covered in bandages while the one exposed eye remained shut.

“What happened?” You simply said, your eyes moving down to his arm covered him and the blanket pulled over his limp body.

“Zeke blown himself up next to Levi, luckily I found him still alive but it was pretty bad.” Hange sadly spoke, the guilt in her tone from not being able to help him sooner.

“How bad.”

“Y/N..” She trailed off, even she didn’t know how bad it really was, only the parts shown when she wrapped him up.

“Missing fingers, pretty sure his eye is lost and… we won’t know the serious impact it caused him until he wakes up.” She murmured, not wanting to look you in the eye, the guilt washing over her.

“Oh god, Levi.” You barely said over a whisper, the tears slowly leaking from your eyes and down your cheeks. Your heart aching inside of your chest like it was about to explode out of your skin.

Hours had passed, everyone was now camped out in a safe area inside the woods, the fire sizzling and cracking, the tents around spread out. Mostly everyone was asleep or far from the campfire talking amongst themselves.

But you stayed in the tent, looking down at Levi and his current state, paranoid about the fact that he may or may not wake up.

So, you laid down beside him, enough distance to not cause any harm or pain. Your eyes were growing heavy and you felt the drag of slumber overcoming your body.

Suddenly there was a stir beside you, a grunt leaving Levi’s throat as the pain shot through him like lightning. He felt paralyzed, in pain, and out of it.

The movement had forced you to be wide awake, your eyes shooting open and glancing over at the body beside you. You could see Levi squirming and then his one eyes had opened up, shut, then opened slowly again to look around at his surroundings.

Then his eye landed on you.

“Levi?” You asked, the worry and fear overwhelming your body once again. The fear of him forgetting who you are lingered over you.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, the pain shooting through his body, making him realize just how fucked up this situation was.

He could feel the bandages wrapped around his body, he could feel his body ache and as he looked down just a bit, he could see that he was missing a few of his fingers.

“I’m going to kill him.” Levi spoke again, muttering under his breath as the rage of Zeke overcame his mindset, the reality settling in.

“We’ll get him just.. please rest.” You whisper, your fingertips gently brushing through his dirty and matted up hair.

“I was so worried.” You admitted under a whisper, the fear of losing him was choking you, making you slowly suffocate as your eyes watered.

He noticed this, his body growing soft as his eye stared into yours. Slowly, he raised one of his hands up to brush along your cheek, being extremely gentle while doing so because he couldn’t handle the pain.

“I’m here, it’s okay.”

“I could have lost you, Levi. What were you thinking?” Your heart weighed heavy in your chest, his started to weigh down on him too as he saw the pain written across your face.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could really say, what else was there to say? He didnt mean for this to happen, all he wanted was Zeke to suffer.

“Just don’t scare me like that again.” You sighed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, his bruised face giving you a small smile.

“I promise.”

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A/N: IM BACK!!!

My first imagine back and I am also accepting REQUESTSSSS!!!

I cleared out my request box completely and want to start out fresh and new.

Please send me whatever. Maybe some more Armin requests or Eren? I would like to fill out their lists :)

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[animefinatic]

Just me playing devils advocate with the Rumbling. Spoilers for aot

Since the new episode drop all sorts of discussions and memes are on the internet including once again casting judgement on Eren and the ‘Yeagerist’ both in show and fans irl.

I myself am an Eren apologist or Yeagerist. While I don’t seriously feel the need to defend myself, I’ve grown pretty grey when it comes to morals in an anime. I could simply say I have watched this man grow and suffer for too long in the series to suddenly switch on him at the end. I could say I’m loyal to a fault, where if I can justify the action I will support you regardless be it a fictional character or a real person. If I can justify the means I will probably support you and your decision.

However I feel everyone is focusing on innocent children are dying and it’s wrong(which I agree is sad). But I feel there’s some things I feel people are magically forgetting about.

Eren was just a kid when Birthcontrol, Reiner and Annie came storming in from Marley and attacked Paradis. And many many other people, children included, died in the aftermath of the wild titans that were let into the wall. On top of the following death that came when the government couldn’t hold the refugees from the breached wall and sent them on a death mission that was essentially population control. All that because they were attacked first. Innocent lives have been lost long before Eren had ever gotten the power needed to start the rumbling.

Paradis island and the Eldians in general were under a constant threat by Marley. Did we all just forget the wild mindless titans are people? Actual eldians from Marley that were punished by being forcefully turned into mindless titans and were let loose onto Paradis that have been tormenting the people on the island the entire time. Meaning this whole time the scouts have been unknowingly killing their own people for survival. And had to kill them after knowing this truth just to officially clear the island of titans for good(minus the wall Titian’s and the shifters of course.)

The people Eldians on Paradis have NO IDEA what exists over the wall. The average person was left in the complete dark and only the royals knew the truth and forced everyone to continue living in the walls. The whole argument was ‘well Eldians started it’ but the royal family just locked themselves away on Paradis and kept everyone ignorant. Eren and Armin dreamed of what was over the walls to be free of Titian’s. Imagine finally getting through the nightmare that is fighting all the Titian’s to know they weren’t the last of humanity. But CIVILIZATIONS have modernized. And not only that they’ve already labeled your kind, specifically paradis as the enemy. The worst of humanity, monsters. What would you do? What do y’all expect him to do? You think he’s going to just take that sitting down?

What other option did he have? Being diplomatic and peacefully talking it out seems good on paper. And quite honestly following the peaceful route was gonna get them all killed. That episode where they went to Marley and sat in on that meeting. Eren essentially deadass heard everyone make Paradis the scapegoats for everything wrong with the world, even other Eldians are throwing Paradis eldians under the bus. After that speech it’s no wonder he left the group to execute his plan ‘with’ Zeke (we know he double crosses his own brother). There was no hope to peacefully talk it out when the whole world has decided paradis island is the enemy. And for all the damage and distraction Eren did not attack until war was officially declared on Paradis island first. They was gonna send destruction on a higher scale to the island had Eren not made his move. He simply brought the war to them.

In the end it was literally Paradis against the world. Eren is going to choose his home and his friends over the world that’s already declared them an enemy. And frankly I can’t and won’t blame him for attacking first. In a perfect world I would have loved for all eldians across the globe to stand together. But because they’ve already been brainwashed and condemned paradis eldians I could just say their deaths are an unfortunate collateral damage. Seeing the sheer destruction and mayhem the rumbling is causing is shocking and I was left speechless. And Eren himself hates he has to do this but he’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure the eldians of paradis island are free. I can agree the rumbling is horrifying but I can see why it happened. In the new episode even the commander of the Marleain army can acknowledge this is the cultivation of all their hate being returned back to them.

[miscellaneousramblings]

Down here, salt is a way of life.

Lol, so I’ve read the updated version of those SnK leaks for the last volume and its bonus pages and like... what. I don’t see why I as a reader should accept a poor, nonsensical, edgy ending such as this one and with a smile as well! Fuck that.*

The actual last chapter as published last month was already poorly executed but at least I could sort of get what the author went for. I thought that maybe the bonus pages could actually help me swallow the pill by adding meaningful dialogue or events (Armin being shown Paradis’ potential destruction by Eren isn’t a meaningful event, it just adds more fuel to my long-held belief Paradis isn’t worth the destruction it’s causing. The moment they started becoming oppressors the way Marley did, they lost the right to just claim self-defence for their ensured survival. I’ve always thought that Zeke’s plan was the better option compared to the Rumbling and I haven’t changed my mind, far from that. Maybe, had the Rumbling been treated differently and killed way less, it could have been different. Maybe). Eren’s treatment was horrifying in the last arc, but at the very least I could get over his death, and let Mikasa live on in my imagination. She could just live a simple life with her beloved friends visiting her and some pets she would adopt by her side, happily tending to her garden, cooking, reading, maybe even meeting some new people and making friends with them. As an ace woman, I know women don’t have to get married to a guy or even love anyone romantically to lead a worthy, fulfilling life, and yes, I was more than happy to project on her. Mikasa could be happy on her own. The ending was open-ended enough for readers to believe whatever they wanted as far as surviving characters go, and this was fine.

But now, this. The idea she *has* to get herself a man and some kids to “move on” is so backwards and frustrating, I just can’t. This is literally the exact same scenario as Historia’s treatment post Ymir’s death. Isayama really said “I’m going to develop YH and EM and make people fall in love with them, then kill one of them off after terribly dissatisfying farewells and then boom, timeskip, the surviving members of the ships ~moved on~ with Faceless Man 1 and Faceless Man 2.” If you’re gonna show your MC “getting over” their love for the other MC, the one that’s been built up in the entire goddamn manga, then at least show it on-screen, give us some hints. If the husband is supposed to be Jean, then at least show his face instead of a vague silhouette. Isayama is degrading his series, which is his own problem, but he’s also insulting his readers’ intelligence, which I won’t stand for.

Once again, what the hell is he trying to say with this? I’m not talking about some kind of moral message, I’m talking about the way love is depicted in this series. Love is something to be sacrificed, discarded and then replaced (offscreen). I am pissed off by the ultimate treatment of women in this series, especially after the promise they showed pre-timeskip. Also Annie is lucky Bertolt died because at this rate she would have ended with him despite not loving him is2g.

I will wait for the actual volume to come out in Japan and if this nonsense is actually confirmed (Mikasa being married to some rando while Paradis becomes an industrialized nation thanks to global genocide), I’m selling all my manga volumes. Luckily enough I have some rare editions so i should be able to take my money back entirely.

I am disappointed and done.

PS: Life footage of me reading those leaks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KquFZYi6L0

*If the leaks are fake I’ll gladly accept I am a clown, and will shut up about this series forever, but I do remember a chinese leaker (I’m assuming the same person) said volume 34 would be the last back in early/mid-december, and this was confirmed in the preview at the end of volume 33, which was released on January 9. Soooo yeah, I’m pretty sure this is legit, unfortunately.

[plussizeficchick]

Watercolor Eyes│Eren x Chubby!Reader

Warnings: Smut(P in V) Angsty, Mean!Eren but it’s for the cause!

Eren loved you more than anything.

While he also loved his best friends Mikasa and Armin, the love he had for you was different. It was stronger than platonic and he knew it definitely wasn’t familial. 

He knew, even from a young age, that it would always be you. 

You, the cute, chubby girl that he always passed on his way to pick up Armin to hang out.

It didn’t take long before Eren built up the courage to ask you if you wanted to hang out with them, and when you said yes, with the widest grin on your cute, round face, he knew he was done for. He’d do anything to keep that smile on your face.

But then..

But then disaster struck, and soon you were all whisked away from your families and loved ones, practically forced to fend for yourselves. You were scared, petrified even, but you were sure that as long as you had Eren, everything would work out. Of course, you were scared for Armin and Mikasa, but the bond you had with Eren was different and from the first time he’d stopped in front of your yard to ask if you wanted to play with him, Armin and Mikasa, you knew, you’d follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked.

--

Eventually, the four of you were scouts and while at first you had trouble getting used to the ODM gear provided to you and being able to evenly distribute your weight when reeling through the skies, you eventually got the hang of it. You were even placed in Captain Levi’s squad. Granted, you put up a fit, especially with the whole “Eren being an intelligent titan” thing, but still, you were with your best friends and keeping Eren safe, so you were content.

Every night, when you and Eren were sure everyone was asleep, you’d sneak into each other’s rooms to cuddle. It brought you both comfort, you both having the one piece of home that you couldn’t live without.

As time went on, your feelings grew and it didn’t help that Eren was always there to wrack up brownie points. Captain Levi being particularly harsh during training? Don’t worry, Eren’s taking you horseback riding. You feeling a bit down about your figure? He’ll spend the next hour telling you all the things he likes about you. He made it exceptionally hard to get over him.

But again, things changed, and slowly, so did Eren. 

He was colder, more insensitive. It hurt, this wasn’t your Eren.

You’d tried speaking to him numerous times, only for Commander Hange to tell you “he doesn’t feel like seeing anyone right now.”

He always wanted to talk to you. 

Even when he felt most overwhelmed, he knew he could turn to you to listen to him. For comfort. So what happened?

--

Shortly after Eren’s rescue in Marley and his escape from jail, Armin, Mikasa and you were ambushed by Yeagerists, who claimed he wanted to “solve things peacefully.” 

Following the group to a private room, you are all granted access and came face to face with the man himself.

He’s just as beautiful as you remember. Jade eyes that are as piercing as they are mesmerizing. His hair is tied in the cute half up-half down style you’d spontaneously put in his hair one day, thin strands framing his face. 

Gorgeous.

“Ah, hello. Good to see you again.” His voice is deeper than you remember, more hoarse and it's then that you remember that he wasn’t exactly having conversations everyday.

“Eren,” Armin starts, thoroughly shocked by the person before him. “What is-what’s going on?” He asks, brows furrowed. What happened to his best friend? Armin chanced a glance to you and Mikasa, only to see a similar look of distraught on your faces. “It’s simple, really.” Eren says, a look of disinterest on his face. “I’m only doing what I should’ve done a long time ago.” 

He looks Armin in the eye before revealing Armin’s trips to visit Annie and claims that he’s being controlled by Bertholdt’s memories before shifting his attention to Mikasa, berating her and her lineage. At some point you must have tuned out, shocked at the amount of disdain that Eren kept bottled up. “And you,” You will yourself to look at him, you don’t know if this will be the last time you see him, and while what he says might hurt you, he’s still your ‘Ren. “You have to be the most pathetic excuse for a human being I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. You follow me around like a fucking mutt all damn day and take up nothing but air and space. If it was up to me, we would have left you in Wall Maria.” “That’s enough, Eren!” The tear doesn’t have a chance to escape your eye before your vision is obscured by a head of blonde hair breezing past you. “Wah? Mikasa!” You look up to see Mikasa holding Armin down before she briskly releases him. “Do you get it now?” Eren says before picking Armin up and landing a hard right hook to his jaw. 

You turn your head the other way, the sight of one of your closest friends getting beaten bloody enough to turn your stomach. When all is said and done and Eren has had his fill, you rush to tend to Armin. “‘Min, are- are you okay, ‘minnie?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper. The tears have long since escaped your eyes, and while you’re busy tending to Armin, you fail to notice the look of longing coming from Eren’s eyes. “Take them away.” He orders.

--

During your time incarcerated, Armin tries his best to come up with an idea to stop Eren and Marley’s plans, however, all you can do is sit alone with your thoughts. Of course he’s always hated me, I was like a leech for Christ sake. You let out a heavy sigh. It hurt, honestly it did, because while you had long accepted the idea that Eren might not be into you, the thought that even as a friend you were irritating to be around worried you. Did Armin and Mikasa feel the same way? Connie? Jean? It bothered you. You had finally started to feel more confident in yourself, Eren being a big help with that. So why’d he have to tear it all down? “(Y/NN)? You okay? You’ve been sighing for like the past ten minutes.” Connie asked, a worried look on his face. You give a soft smile before going to join the group. “Yeah, just thinking about things. How’re things over here?” The group fills you in on what you missed and while it doesn’t completely get rid of Eren’s words, it does help distract you.

Time Skip

After the War for Paradis, Eren was immediately taken into custody. While he did have semi-good intentions, he still put thousands of people at risk. He agreed to a peaceful arrest, if given time to speak to a few people. Make amends, if you will. 

You were one of the last people he wanted to see because he knew no amount of time could ever rectify what he did to you.

As soon as you opened the door, Eren was floored. Even in the most basic, mundane outfit you managed to look breathtaking. Your wide hips filled your outfits in a way that Mikasa’s or Historia’s couldn’t and the jiggle in your thighs made it hard for him to maintain eye contact. 

Beautiful.

“Hey.” He sighed out after a few moments of silence. “Hey.” You barely mutter. You were nervous. The last time you were in front of him, he told you how much of a nuisance you were, so you didn’t want to accidentally set him off. “Right, so. I know I’m probably the last person you ever want to see after the way I left things but you have to believe me when I tell you that I truly thought I had no other option.” He goes on to explaining the euthanasia plan and his betraying Zeke. He takes both your hands in his before continuing, “I’m in love with you, (Y/NN). I have been ever since I first passed your yard when we were kids and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the pain that I put you through. I know I can be a lot. I’m impulsive, hard-headed, but I know I’m also passionate and sweetheart, there was nothing I wasn’t going to do to make sure YOU were safe.” He kisses your knuckles before looking up at you. His eyes chance a glance at your lips before returning back to your eyes. “May I?” He asks, and before you know it, your mouths are moving together. He cups your chubby cheeks in his hands, tilting your head to angle your mouths better. You moan into the kiss, the feel of his tongue gliding with yours causing a tingle in your belly. 

Slowly, Eren trails his hands along your waist, hands grabbing at the fat of your muffin top. Fuck, she’s so soft. So warm. Eren groans when he feels your hands sliding through his hair, pulling the hair tie from his dark tresses to let them flow freely. He growls when you give a particularly harsh tug on his head, the slight pain causing his aching cock to twitch. “Fuck, princess. You don’t know what you do t’me, hmm?” He hums against your ear, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. You whine at his tone, your hands tugging at his shirt to pull it off. “Wan’ it off, ‘Ren.” You pout and the sight is too cute for Eren to say no. 

He undresses the both of you, quite quickly seeing as you both are on a time crunch before settling himself between your plush thighs. This has to be what heaven feels like. He swipes his cock through your puffy folds, your slick providing the perfect lube. Fuck, she’s so wet. I’ve gotta taste her next time. “‘Ren, please! Hurry!” You whine. What was taking him so long? 

You didn’t have time to ponder the question as Eren thrusted himself to the hilt. You squeal at the burn, clenching your pussy around his cock. “Fuck, princess. Don’t- don’t do that. I’ll cum!” Eren grunted, slowly pulling out to thrust back inside. 

Gradually, he builds up a rhythm and your cunt is coating his cock and balls in your juices. Your moans are starting to get loud and while Eren knows this would be the ultimate show of domination, he wants to be the only one to see you like this. To be the only one to see your fat tits bouncing in time with his cock, your cunt squelching because of his hard thrusts. Your eyes crossing because the pleasure is so intense. 

Eren slowly maneuvers a hand between the both of you to rub furiously at your clit, the bud twitching when it feels his thumb swiping through your folds. It’s the push you need to send you over the edge, your pussy tightening savagely around Eren’s cock as your pussy creams around him. “Fuck, ‘Ren! S’good. Feels s’good.” He kisses along your sweaty body as he comes down from his own high. He pulls you into his lap, with you facing him so he can look into your eyes. “I love you (Y/NN). And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to. I have never needed someone as much as I realized I need you. I just- please don’t leave me.” His voice cracks at the end and it's then that you realize that he’s crying. 

You cup his face before planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “I love you, ‘Ren. Only you.”

- -

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @pervysenpaix @dabilovesme @sintiva @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @haikyutiehoe @musicisme333

[ourmondobongo]

Personally, Levi's monologue in chapter 136 bothered me a lot. There were more important things going on (Eren destroying the world, Levi being severely injured, Armin missing, his best friend dying) yet Isayama chose to focus on the promise. It almost felt like fanservice, and sometimes I wonder if that's all Levi was reduced to, in the end. Sometimes he really did feel like a flat character. Apologies if I sound too negative.

No need to apologize!!!

Reviews that come from the heart - or sincerely - are welcome here!

I suppose your bad experience with distorted ship discourse might be the source of the disappointment over this bit? And if it is, then, srly, whenever you feel like giving a 2nd chance to read it, try to do it forgetting all distorted ship reductions around Levi. His narrative goes so much more than this!!

I'm loving to see these people's reviews over Levi on Twitter: Peter, zeroTakes, shash, and malakeus. I'm sure when Levi gets back as focus in the anime, they will thread nice analysis on him too!!

In the meantime, if you allow me, I will write a bit on the matter of chapter 136 here!

The last time we had an inside of Levi's head moment was on chapter 112. There he is confused, dejected, angry, and in denial with a lot of things: Eren's betrayals; Zackley's death and Pixis surrender + plan to sacrifice Eren; the refusal to kill Eren because so many people had died to save the lil shit and the hopes he was supposedly carry; the 30 days secluded in that damn forest-prison with Zeke carrying out his plan behind his back. Levi is so concerned and utterly conflicted and pissed that he even suggested losing the only fail-safe Paradis had (aka the Rumbling) by feeding Zeke to a traitor Yeagerist until Hisu gave birth and could eat him.

He shared a few words with Hanji in the forest; then Hanji died without them discussing anything regarding the SC again but the "do you think they are watching?". Levi looks between destroyed, barely holding on, and Captain Levi up until 136. His narrative NEEDED his insight on the matters happening more than ever. That's when his monologue comes on point. And while I wrote this answer kinda bitter at the end of aot + Hanji's death, Levi's part still stands as of now for me.

I still love the fact that Levi addresses the vow as Erwin's last order. Isym didn't wrote it by mistake. And more than ever, again, Levi shows he is worried about what it meant the Survey Corps - Humanity’s supposedly Wings of Freedom. This is Isym using Levi - the most OP and why not to say beloved character of snk! - to AGAIN shut up the last people still insisting that The Rumbling was the right path. Or that Erwin and the vets would have supported it (srly, some people just don't get it even it being rubbed at their faces 🤦‍♀️).

I also love that this monologue also answers Levi's questions of chapter 112 - what was that hope we were looking at? Eren, the monster? The Devil? To which now Levi says, "No! I entrusted the future to the ones like Armin...". And while shippers tend to argue about the eyes representing Erwin in a romantic way, if you go to chapter 84, you will see Erwin's eyes looks free, imo. And all Levi ever wanted for everyone since ever was to conquer freedom for them.

The only thing I still feel kinda... unsatisfied with is the translation of the sentences/panels related to Hanji. Levi clearly is doing a parallel between her and Armin. And the WHOLE story can clearly tell why is that at this point - their personalities, their enchantment over the world, over life, their power to inspire people in a heartwarming way. I swear, I can totally see Hanji having a mind-wonder childhood like Armin too...

Sure, Armin is a gamechanger mastermind up to be on pair with Erwin's determination to do whatever it takes to accomplish his goals (from the beginning to chapter 90 we see this all). Armin is definitely the "future generation" snk always talked too. But Erwin's motto, until chapter 134 in Armin's mind, is basically "those who can't give something important to them can't accomplish anything", reminding everyone that Erwin is the symbol of ruthlessness and pragmatism rather than warmth and hope like Hanji.

And then there isn't a single time Levi remembers again seeing Erwin with free/soft eyes since chapter 84, much less 136. And them, even Erwin has his eyes focused on Hanji in this scene:

Sure it would be somewhat weird maybe? to see Erwin with softer eyes here, but come on - couldn't he at least show a kinder face or be looking somewhere else than Hanji to make sense of "what they devoted" look less Hanji-centered (and checking Erwin out the "they") than the drawing is clearly point out??? LOL

I know the word in Japanese Kodansha 1st used for "they" is translated not as simply "they" plural, but something like "this person + and people similar to them". And there is an abysmal difference between Erwin and Hanji core narratives. And also, the fact it's Hanji leading the fire camp like Armin leading the talk with Eren and Mika is the clear parallel here imo! So, yeah, this bit puzzles me as to wtf Isym really wanted to do here...

Bonus Pic of Levi almost smiling at Armin's enthusiasm because I love how soft Levi seems to look here - something between "tsk, this brat is a little fool" (lovingly) and "but it would be really good if the world was like this..."

It would be nice to hear Isym talking about Levi someday...

[mello-jello]

Don't we all agree that Hange loves to play pranks on Levi? I'm pretty sure the most fucked up joke she made was when she pretended to sacrifice to save humanity and being burn alive? lord, Levi was so pissed off! It tooked like 3 years to finally forgive Hange and they finally living in a small cottage in the forest. How do I know this? Cause I'm their handmaid.

omg anon, how does one get that job? I will do it for free! I would PAY to have that job.

I realize Tumblr is collectively over the BBC Sherlock, but can you just imagine Hange with a stupid pencil drawn on moustache, trying and failing SO HARD to lighten the mood?

Maybe Hange needed to lay low? Maybe the Yeagerists has eyes on Levi, and making contact with him would have put him at risk?

oh no...

UhHHmm... hang on, I made this into a whole thing:

It’s midday and yet the sky is dark. Thick storm clouds circle above, threatening torrential downpour at any moment. The ceremony was good, all things considered. The 104th all gave short speeches about their beloved commander, which was nice. The priest was a little religious but kept the service pretty well non-secular, which is what Hange would have wanted.

Levi on the other hand, would have loved some sort of reassurance that this wasn’t the end. He would love to be able to believe in a heaven, where Hange is spending their time in complete bliss and will be there when it’s his time. He wants to believe there is any sort of omnipotent being in control of everything. He wishes he was capable of that kind of thinking.

And yet.

Everyone has left by now, and Levi’s not sure how he’d been standing there, staring at the freshly laid soil below a headstone. Fighting back tears, he speaks aloud, a last ditch effort to communicate with God or whatever. How does he know for sure Hange’s not listening anyway?

"Hange,” his voice catches as he had been clenching his jaw all day.

“I… I was so alone and I owe you so much. But please, there's just one more thing... one more thing, one more miracle, Hange, for me? Don't. Be. Dead. Would you do that, just for me? Just stop it. Stop this..."

Levi felt silly. Talking out loud to the dead never appealed to him before, why would he start now? He dropped the bouquet of flowers he was gripping too tightly onto the grave and turned to leave, just as the rain started to pour.

---

Onyankopon, Gabi, and Falco can sense Levi’s depression. It stems from more than the loss of Hange, it comes from everything Levi has ever lost in his entire life. There is no need for Levi to fight anymore. No more distractions. The lack of distractions is what makes living on so difficult.

It’s been three years since that fateful day, and the trio wanted to do something on the anniversary to take Levi’s mind off of it, even if just for an evening. Levi was bitter and cold as usual, but he knew they were just trying to help, and he did appreciate it. So reluctantly, he agreed to a movie and dinner.

He never even needed to shave before, but Levi had grown quite an impressive moustache during this time. The kids seemed to like it, they said he looked distinguished. Levi figured it would also help get attention off his scars.

Gabi and Falco were particularly excited for the movie. It was a musical comedy, of all things. Levi surprised himself by actually kind of laughing at it. He enjoyed the caramelized popcorn, too. At dinner, the 4 of them sat around a fancy table and Levi listened wholeheartedly as the other 3 discussed the movie. At one point, Gabi had shot soda out of her nose from laughing too hard, and Falco was teasing her about it.

Levi was about to interject with a snide remark, when he was suddenly interrupted by a particularly terse waiter.

“Sir, I think, you’ll find this vintage to your liking”, they said in an accent Levi had never heard before, while shoving a bottle of wine in his face. Levi was pissed, as the bottle so rudely brought up unpleasant memories.

“Tch, no.” Levi said as politely as he could muster through his teeth.

“It ’as all the qualities of the old, with some of the colour of the new,” they said, as if purposefully ignoring him. Levi was actually having a good time tonight, why did this guy have to be so pushy?

Keeping his locked forward, Levi said again, “No, thank you.”

The waiter switched sides, now on Levi’s left, which had the eye he could see with. Onyankopon gave Levi a sympathetic look as the water continued, “Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers, suddenly one is aware they are staring into ze face of an old friend.”

“No, look seriously,” Levi finally breaks and looks up, “could you just-”

Levi’s face drops. His entire body jolts impossibly rigid, as he stares with an expression of utter disbelief.

Hange. Hange was the waiter. They dipped a napkin into a glass of water, and wiped off the fake mustache from their top lip. “Interesting thing, a tuxedo. Lends distinction to friends, and anonymity to waiters,” they said in their normal voice.

“Levi?” Gabi asks, and Levi is suddenly aware that he forgot to breathe. He forgot to blink too. He feared that if he moved in any way, Hange might disappear.

He turns his head to Onyankopon, then his eyes fill with tears and he ducks his head momentarily before he stumbles clumsily to his feet, shaking the table in the process. He looks at Hange again, who then extends their arms, as if expecting Levi to hug them.

“Hange?” Oyankopon questioned, incredulously.

Levi looked down at the table, breathing heavily before locking eyes with Hange again.

“Hey, does your rub off, too?” Hange gestured to Levi’s facial hair, to which he did not find funny. His gaze was slowly turning murderous.

Falco put his hand on Levi’s arm. “What-?”

“Well, long story short,” Hange explained, a little awkwardly. “I’m not dead.”

Hange stares into Levi’s eyes as they slowly realize that this was a bad idea. They start feeling guilty. “It was a bit mean, springing it on you like that, I know. I could have given you a heart attack, probably still will. But in my defence, it was very funny. Okay, it’s not a great defence-”

“I SAW YOU!” Onyankopon broke through their rambling.

“Oh, no-

“YOU DIED!”

“I just checked, and no, no I didn’t!”

Levi made a fist and pounded the table, nearly spilling all their drinks and drawing attention to them. Hange looked around nervously, but Levi did not care, although he whispered, “three years.”

“Okay, Levi, I’m suddenly realising I probably owe you some sort of an apology,”

Levi took another, deliberately deep breath and asked, “how?”

“Just… okay, one question! Let me ask one question,” Hange asked. They pointed to Levi’s moustache, “Are you really going to keep that?” They blurted out in laughter for all of 2 seconds before Levi launched at them. They both crashed to the floor, Levi on top of Hange, trying to throttle them.

[unslicited]

roasting the shit out of you based off your aot ships

but it's actually not all aot ships because i'm lazy. also if you're easily offended and would cry yourself to sleep, scroll past. i don't want to see you complain in the comments, you baby

eremika

━⠀you either don't contribute/participate a lot to the fandom or you defend the shit out of your ship. either way, you're so basic, get well soon xx

━⠀there's a 99% chance that the reason you like the ship is because your favorite character is eren and you don't give a single fuck about mikasa which is also a disease. get well soon xx (2)

━⠀you either treat armin like garbage or he's your scrunkly son, there's no in-betweens

━⠀if you're a cishet male and this is your favorite ship, please stay at least 50 miles away from me. you fucking suck

━⠀if you have twitter account dedicated to them also stay 50 miles away from me. i just know the purpose of you creating those account is to shit on another people's ship which is so fucking embarrassing. get help bae

aruani

━⠀oh my god. you're the most basic human to ever exist that you're so boring

━⠀mmm another 99% chance that you're white or straight. or even worse; both. get well soon xx

━⠀you cannot see two people of different genders looking at each other or you would ship them even though they have no chemistry, also a disease

━⠀i literally don't know what to say anymore, that's how bland you are

erehisu

━⠀what does it feels like to be the stupidest person with the worst reading comprehension ever?

━⠀yeagerist. /neg

━⠀you are a walking red flag. please don't interact with a real human, you would send them to a mental institution just by talking to you

━⠀you hate the ending which is fine BUT you're the mf who makes cringe alternate endings with the whole “historia is pregnant with eren's kid!” ordeal. which is a bad thing btw

━⠀historia is not pregnant with eren's kid and she's a lesbian. get over it, you redditor

ereri & rivamika

━⠀oh what's this? why did i put the two of these shippers together, you ask? because they have something in similar! mental illness.

━⠀you are the one of the worst person to ever exist in the aot fandom. you make the fandom a worse place. stay unsafe, i'm hunting you down

━⠀“b—but, fiction doesn't affect reality! 🥺” it sure as hell doesn't, but you're just straight up being a fucking weirdo. please never speak to another human being, they would absolutely hate you

━⠀you are a cringe levi fangirl, but this time, with even more mental illness!

━⠀genuinely, get help you weirdo. incest and pedophilia is not sexy, you sad and pathetic excuse of a monster

levihan

━⠀if you see hange as a nonbinary then i have nothing bad to say to you, you're okay & you don't have to read this <3. but if you see them as a “female”, you're the worst kind of human to ever walk on this planet and that's the nicest way i could word it

━⠀you're a cringe 13 years old straight levi fangirl... i don't know what could be worse than that

━⠀your ideal partner is someone who genuinely hates you and would beat the shit out of you, but you take that behavior as a “tsundere uwu” shit...

━⠀your understanding of erwin's character is totally off and you purposely think that way because you're in denial that erwin is the most important person to levi, not hange. get over it

━⠀looking for drama with eruri shippers is your hobby, you are a horrible person

eruri

━⠀you are the saddest person to ever roam the earth. are you okay? do you need my therapist's number?

━⠀delete those shit tons of sad playlist, it makes you look like a loser

━⠀you make liking eruri your whole personality which is a horrible thing btw. get over it, erwin is dead, they will never be canon

━⠀you overanalyze every fucking thing to the point you just become paranoid over small things. you should just become an english literature teacher at this point

━⠀there's a 70% chance that you're a lesbian who watched aot because you wanted to see the lesbians, but end up getting obsessed wih erwin. you relate to him in a certain level, but you don't know how to word it. btw relating to erwin is /neg

━⠀your ideal relationship is something really tragic and sad, you want to have some kind of impact to your partner for the rest of their life. you are not right in the head

yumihisu

━⠀okay 99.9% chance you are a sapphic yearning for love

━⠀you either have never been in a relationship or is a fucking whore—you've been in so many relationships, you lost count of your exes. btw, that's because you hold way too high expectations for your partner. get well soon xx

━⠀you either didn't expect aot to have lesbians or you watched aot BECAUSE the lesbians. there are no in-betweens

━⠀you're tired of the fandom's bullshit and just want to enjoy some cottagecore lesbians content of yumihisu. and honestly, i can't blame you

━⠀okay this wasn't really a roast since most of yumihisu shippers are the most wholesome people in the fandom so. yeah. you're safe, bae <3

are you offended now?

no? good.

yes? even better.

[yelenayena]

Love Game part 3

Pairing: Yelena x fem!reader

Genre: Lemon, non!AU

A/N: This is my very first fanfic. Sorry if it's bad, but I hope you like and enjoy reading this story! The period in this story is when the Yeagerists began their mission to create the “New Eldian Empire”. I'm poor at grammar, and this is the first story I have written in English, so I’m sorry if they're a lot of mistakes I made in my writing. Feel free to give me some advice in English so I can learn and write better in the future 💜

Summary: You live in the same house as Yelena in Paradis as a maid. You adore Yelena, but you thought she wasn't attracted to you at all. The day after she talked with Pixis on the balcony, she eventually talks to you and tries to tease you.

Warning: Smut, +18, explicit content!!

She kissed your lips so gently. Her arms on your waist pull your body so close to hers, no more boundaries between you and her. The thrill of her kiss running up your skin was electrifying. You want to stop her, but your body tells a different story. It feels like you've been so thirsty for her touches for a whole time. Moments later, her arms all over your back. Then she kissed you passionately, her tongue is in your mouth now, moving wildly to play with yours.

At this moment you feel that the world around you vanishes away, only you and her. You want her back, you want her so badly. But a thought hit your head, you regained consciousness. Realizing that this should never have happened between you and her, there shouldn't be unnecessary physical touch.

You pulled back your body to stop her, “this is wrong, we ought not to kiss!” you said with a firm voice.

“Uh-huh, and then?”

You stepped back on your leg to keep your distance from her. “Don’t ever kiss me again!”

She curtsied and bent her face close to yours, “but you liked that, and you kissed me back,” she said. Her right arm touched your lower lip and teased it with a naughty touch.

You don't know what to say, because she was right, and the way she teased your lower lip is so intoxicating. You looked into her eyes, her pupils dilated, you can see a strong desire within her. She looked at you so lustful.

“Let me get this clear,” she continued. “I want you and don’t you ever dare to say no because I hate being rejected. Let’s move to the next level, I promise you'll love it, and we’ll be having so much fun!” Her right arm traced your chin, neck, and stopped at your left breast. She then put her lips against your ear, “tonight you look so beautiful with that nightdress, and I can't hold myself anymore,” she hoarsely whispered.

Her powerful and strong voice makes you do nothing but obey. “Now, go upstairs and get to sleep. It’s already late, I’ll clean the glasses for you.” She placed her arms on your shoulder to lead you out of the kitchen. And you just obey like her cutie puppy.

The next morning, Yelena saw you watering the potted plants around the backyard. “Hey, cutie, you slept well last night?” she said in an enticing tone.

You glanced at her, “funny you acted so friendly recently. Don’t get me wrong, but I don't think I’ll accept your stupid game.”

She stepped closer to you, “yes you will. As I said last night, I hate being rejected. So I’m gonna make you say my name when you get high. Just be ready today.”

She saw two soldiers walking towards your position. She cleared her throat, “so I wanna have some tea and please take them to my room by evening,” she said loudly with a different tone.

You realized she was trying to fool those soldiers, then she left you there. You glanced and followed her movement, she’s talking to the two soldiers. They seemed to have a serious conversation with her. You want to know what they are talking about, but you can't hear anything from the place you were standing.

As she promised, she left you no choice but to bring the tea set to her room. Once you entered her room, she locked the door and grabbed your hand quickly, and hugged you tightly. She kissed you more passionately than last night.

“Yelena-” you try to speak, “I told you we can't do this.”

“Yes we can, I know that you want me too, your face can tell me that,” she said during a kiss.

The more you try so hard to refuse, the more she holds your body so tight. She took off every one of your clothes until there nothing left. She touches you more and more, inch by inch. Yet, your sense of logic continues in a detached way with your desire, and you almost give up to satisfy your physical craving.

When she places you on the bed, you try to unbutton her shirt, she helps you take off her shirt and pants until you two get naked. That dusk, you ended up letting your lust control your body and let her touch you more deeply.

After that crazy moment in her room, you can't pretend that you don't need her anymore. You always let her touch your body every time she wants if there's a chance. In the library, in the bathroom, in the fulfillment warehouse, everywhere in that house is a place for both of you to have sex. You love the way she touches you. It always makes you want her more, more wild, more lust, more touch.

“Y- yelena-” you moaned as you felt her long fingers inside your cunt moving in and out faster.

“Yes, beauty? Gonna cum already?” she asked seductively.

You say nothing but moan her name again as you get high and release your warm fluid all over her finger. Tonight you ended up fuck with her in your room.

“Damn! I'm gonna miss this,” she said and started to suck her fingers in her mouth.

You frown at your face, “what do you mean ‘gonna’?”

She smiled at you, “nothing,” and gave her finger to your mouth then you licked hers sensually.

“Oh god, you look so fucking beautiful when you do that with hair falling loose down on the bed,” she played with the ends of your fine hair with another hand. You don't know why, but the way she seduces you with her dirty mouth gives you a delightful sensation. You never mind being a slut for her.

She kissed your lips and whispered, “Give me another, my princess. Let’s do scissoring!”

That night, you fucked with her for hours and this is the longest sex in a week. You try as many positions as you can until you two get dried, ‘till the clock says three in the morning.

The next day, when you go to town to buy groceries. You met Yelena there. You felt confused about why she can get in town while she’s in protective custody.

“I can’t believe we meet here,” she greeted you then she brought you to the alley nearby.

“Yelena, how can you get here?” you asked.

“There’s no time to explain, but I’m glad I met you here. Listen, the situation will not be the same. There will be an agitation around here. I need you to protect yourself if you need to, bring your parents to stay away from town. And I’ll blot out your punishment,” in the last sentence, she lowered down her voice and looked into your eyes softly. “You sure you never drink wine in the kitchen?”

“No, I don't! I told you I don't like liquors,” you answered convincingly. “Agitation? Punishment? What do you mean?”

She smiled, “I know you've been undercover to be a servant for months. You're a former Anti-Personnel Control Squad member that survived the Reiss family tragedy. And thanks to you, you revealed to Dot Pixis that I'd met with Eren before he invaded Marley. That's why I gave you a punishment to force you fucked with me.”

You dropped your groceries in shock, you never realized that she knows everything. Her smiles turned into a wider one as your reaction gave her much satisfaction.

“Floch tells me everything about you. You're no longer working with the government, but they still can find your record.” She stepped closer to you, “you're lucky I fuckin’ like you, sweetie.” She kissed your cheek and touched your head, “take care of yourself. Goodbye,” and she stepped out to join her confederates. Left you there, alone.

Your heart sank when she said goodbye, as you get the feeling you will never see her again.

When you came to that house, the situation was already chaotic, you found blood and dead bodies of the soldiers everywhere. So this is how she can run away from this house. You walked to her room, you still can smell her scent there, and it makes you feel in a sad set of affairs.

There’s a book on the desk, you stepped closer and opened the book. Your eyes widen as you see something inside the book. Now you know how she can keep in touch with her confederate, she used the book to take and give the information about the current situation in government. You hold the book so tight until your fingers get pale. You feel so defeated she can fool you around, and it all because of your stupid feelings.

You looked out the window with irony and said, “silly me I like you too. Please don't get yourself killed.”

Fun Facts:

She really into you, she can't think straight when you're around her.

I think she's a dominant type, and finally, you can make her half-naked and you take control of her (you can take a look at the first picture 😉).

Yes, you were the former of The Military Police Regiment who joined Anti-Personnel Control Squad leads by Kenny Ackerman.

I think Yelena was really upset about her incarceration and the other member of Anti-Marley Volunteers in various places, after what she did to Paradis. Although the government of Paradis was kind enough to put them in a decent house, she was still upset (this is my speculation for my writing purpose only).

Yelena had been watching you since the first day she stayed in that house. For her, you’re the best thing that Pixis had given to her. She could stick it out in that house because of you.

There are a lot of the Yeagerist’s sympathizers in that house, so, she still can communicate with Floch and her comrades easily. That’s why she knows about your little secret.

No, Yelena didn't kill the military soldiers in that house, but the Yeagerists did (this is only my hc). I think she respects the Eldians sm because Zeke is an Endian.

THIS IS IT! I hope you like my story ;)

Have a good day! ✨

PREVIOUS

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, onto chapter 128 of SnK.  There’s some really huge thematic payoff in this chapter which I want to talk a little about!

The big theme that really comes full circle here is the theme of violence, and how it’s intrinsically linked to the human condition.  That’s obviously a huge theme throughout this entire series, but in a lot of ways it culminates in this chapter.

I first really noticed it in a big way, in terms of having a big impact on the characters, way back in chapter 50 something, during the Uprising arc, in that scene where Jean, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa and Armin are waiting around, and they start talking about Levi and how repulsed they feel by what they perceive to be his unnecessary violence.  They flatly condemn him for it, even going so far as to say there’s something wrong with him, and making bold statements about how they would never kill another person, no matter the circumstances.  This statement of course comes back to bite them not long after, when Armin is forced to kill one of Kenny’s squad in order to save Jean, and Jean begins to understand the impossibility and even selfishness that can be inherent to holding without compromise to one’s moral values. 

That theme comes back in a huge way in chapter 128, and it’s really interesting to see Reiner try to step in and take on the role of martyr by telling the members of the 104th that they don’t need to fight, trying to save them from the moral dilemma of killing their own comrades.  What I found really interesting here was how Jean, Connie, Mikasa and Armin don’t answer at first, and you can see this is a huge struggle for them, the scenario presented before them one which clearly goes against everything they want to believe they’re fighting for.  Connie even says that they’re supposed to be saving people, not murdering their friends, etc...  But it’s impossible to ignore how it’s Hange who steps in and dashes any possibility of them sitting this fight out against the rocks.  They say they aren’t interested in being a spectator, and reminds everyone there that humanity doesn’t have any time left for them to be debating their morality.  This ties back in perfectly with what Levi had spoken to his squad about way back in the Uprising Arc, again, when he told them he doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, and that all any of them can do in any given situation is act in the way they think is best, both for themselves and those they care for, and for humanity as a whole.  We’ve seen Hange come to terms with this blunt and often brutal reality well before this, during the battle for Shingashina, for example.  Hange really began to separate whatever moral qualms they might have had, any emotion they might have had about killing other people, during this arc, and coming to really understand and accept that sometimes morality was something that had to be sacrificed for the greater good.  Here in chapter 128, Hange isn’t interested in or willing to indulge in preserving either their, or anyone else’ moral purity at the expense of the Marlyean group.  They’re in this together, and Hange understands fully that to accept Reiner’s offer of sitting back and watching while he, Annie and Pieck take on the Yeagerists would be the height of selfishness and a prime example of placing one’s own moral purity over the well being of others.  I always think it’s brilliant the way AoT explores these issues, of how an uncompromising loyalty to one’s idea of morality can, in fact, lead to total disaster for others, can in fact worsen the lives of others.  How if one has a moral code they are absolutely, under no circumstances, willing to break, that person often is the one who is most self-serving and self-centered, more concerned with keeping their own hands clean than with helping anyone else.  SnK doesn’t condemn violence, but instead makes very strong arguments for why it is sometimes not only an option, but the ONLY option, and that’s incredibly bold, and incredibly true to reality.  

Armin, as usual, is the first to understand this, after Hange reminds them all.  Armin was also the first, back during the Uprising Arc, to extend understanding towards Levi and his violence, and why he had to at times resort to it.  Armin flat out says here “I refuse to stand by with clean hands”.  He’s acknowledging the selfishness inherent in an uncompromising moral code, and refuses to place himself above the rest of humanity, even if it means once more getting his hands dirty with the blood of other people.  He still comes up with a plan to try and avoid any bloodshed, but you can see Armin is willing and ready in this moment to do whatever is necessary, which he does when he and Connie get into the situation they do with Daz and Samuel.  Armin is the one who tackles Samuel, which is what gives Connie the chance to shoot him.

There’s this huge moment with Levi I want to talk about, after everything goes to shit and Armin’s plan falls apart, where Yelena says “You can’t separate humanity from violence.”  And then she says to Levi “Right, Captain?”, and we get a look at Levi’s face, and once again, he just looks filled with naked despair.  I think these two panels are incredibly important in understanding Levi’s own psychology during this entire final arc.  Yelena is right, for once, when she says you can’t separate humanity from violence.  It’s a part of the human condition.  And she asks Levi specifically about it, because if anyone understands this, it’s Levi, who grew up in a world where violence was often the ONLY option, if one wanted to survive, or protect those they cared for.  But Levi’s saddened expression in the following panel really speaks to his feelings regarding the undeniable truth of Yelena’s words.  Levi knows it’s true, but he wishes desperately that it wasn’t.  I’ve called Levi an idealist over and over, and it’s because Levi is someone who understands the way of the world, and understands human nature, with more clarity and compassion than probably any other character in the series, he understands that violence, pain, poverty, desperation, fear, death, are all a part of life, and especially a part of the human condition, and yet, even with that understanding and acceptance, Levi is also someone who strives towards something better,  towards a world in which these things AREN’T necessary, aren’t inevitable.  Levi has been fighting this whole time in order to try and create a world in which people can live in genuine peace and prosperity, without fear, or violence or inequality.  But every bit of Levi’s life experience tells him and reminds him, day in and day out, of the impossibility of that ideal.  The impossibility of creating a world in which these things don’t exist.  Nothing in Levi’s life would ever lead him to believe true peace and prosperity for all is an attainable dream, nothing in his life which would ever give him real hope in that dream becoming reality.  But still, he fights for it.  This is part of what makes Levi so remarkable.  It’s the very fact that he STRUGGLES to believe in the possibility of a better world, and yet still gives everything of himself to make it a reality, that makes Levi such a hero.  In fact, Levi doesn’t really believe that it’s possible, I don’t think, his life having been too hard and too desperate to fully embrace such an ideal notion.  But, once again, even as he’s riddled with doubt as to it’s attainability, he sacrifices everything he has for the possibility, no matter how slim.   Levi’s naked despair in the panel following Yelena’s question is because he’s being reminded once again of the impossibility of that dream.  Once again, he’s being shown that humanity is incapable of achieving true peace within itself, he’s being shown once again that people are by nature violent and warlike, and that everything he’s fought for seems more and more like a distant and hopeless dream.  Yelena sits in stark contrast to Levi here.  She’s bitterly accepting of the ugly reality, unmoved and unemotional.  She doesn’t care.  She thinks humanity is a worthless mess, unsalvageable and unworthy of salvation.  To Yelena, this is the inevitable result of humanity’s very existence, and to fight for something that unrealistically idealistic is a fools errand.  Indeed, Yelena seems almost to revel in it, the violence serving as affirmation of her beliefs, giving her a sense of validation.  But Levi, beside her, is deeply affected, his pain and sadness openly expressed in his face, his disappointment and heartbreak plain to see.  Levi is HURT by the violence, by seeing it unfold.  Levi, despite knowing the truth of Yelena’s words, despite knowing from the most first-hand experience the brutal and violent nature of human beings, and the improbability of humanity ever achieving true peace, still believes with his whole heart that humanity is WORTH fighting for.  Levi, despite how hard it is for him to believe in actually achieving a better world, still believes that FIGHT is worth an attempt.  And that’s really one of the most vital philosophical difference between Levi and people like Yelena, or Zeke.  Despite knowing and understanding better than anyone the brutal and harsh reality of the world and humanity, to Levi, it’s still something that’s worth fighting to protect, and worth sacrificing for.  Even against his own, weary doubts as to its possibility.  And that just shows a strength of character that is immense.  To be so burdened by doubt, but still to fight with every last ounce of your strength, to give to your very last breath.  That’s Levi.  That strength of character, that unwavering conviction in giving his all to a cause he isn’t at all sure is even possible, is never more apparent than in this final arc, when Levi is in the most literal sense at deaths door, physically wrecked and barely able to even stand, and yet still he fights with everything he has.  That truly is remarkable.  That truly is heroic.

Just one more note.  Floch really exposes himself in this chapter for what he actually is, which is a power freak.  He’s been spouting off this whole time about the Empire of Eldia and saving the island and the people on the island and blah, blah, blah, but during his conversation with Kiyomi, he admits that he doesn’t really believe that the island will be safe, even if Eren wipes out all of humanity, that people will still continue to kill each other, and then he starts in about how what’s important now is for people to “know their place”, as he holds a gun to Kiyomi’s head.  Floch is a power freak, he wants to control other people, wants to dictate to them, wants to hold power over them.  He exposes that about himself here.  He doesn’t actually care about Paradis, or the people on it.  He’s simply getting off on being able to push other people around and make them do what he tells them to.  He’s such a bitch.  It was hilarious when Kiyomi took his ass down and messed his arm up.  

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette: after the final rose

an: the bachelorette is finally over. writing this was…wow. interacting with my followers was so fun😭 i hope to do so again in the future. do enjoy this and take a look at the poll at the end. my requests will be opening up again! feel free to drop something :)

tags: black, fem reader

taglist: @taybird

The day after your wedding, you and Jean found yourselves in Bora Bora. Once you landed, you and Jean settled down for a moment. Your ideal plan was to unpack, get something to eat at the hotel you were in and probably go to sleep. Jean had different plans in mind. As you unpacked your suitcase, he kept massaging your shoulders. His hands moved down your arms and you didn't protest. Y'all, I don't write smut. Give me a few years and I'll write everything that when down.

Despite getting married on television and the whole world knowing, you and Jean never saw yourself as a married couple. It was more like dating to you guys. There were times he's walked out on you because you were too "emotional" and you've walked out on him because he was too "sensitive". But you always found your way back to each other.

During the week of your first "wedding" anniversary, Jean flew you out to Corfu, Greece. The first six days, he recreated your first "honeymoon" night and on the seventh day, he got on one knee again and asked you to be his wife- for real this time. You immediately said yes and threw yourself at him, toppling him over. You both landed on the restaurant floor but that didn't stop you from kissing him.

Wedding planning didn't take as long and it wasn't as hectic as it was the last time. You and Jean had decided to elope. You decided not to tell anyone, except Mikasa, that the wedding was real this time. Everyone you knew had been under the impression that you were spouses.

The day you went to court, Mikasa had been your only witness. You liked the idea of eloping. It was more intimate. No camera, no scripts. Just you and Jean.

Buying what you call a 'mansion' was not on your bingo card. Before you officially made Jean your husband, you had lived in a penthouse that Levi owned. You thought it was perfect- there was enough space for you and Jean. However, it was time to put your big boy pants on.

The outside of your home looks scary. No, it was a pretty house but this was a HUGE mansion. The inside of your home was very homey, however. There were office spaces for you and Jean- which he loved because he was getting back into law again (he had to quit his job because fans and Yeagerists, Eren's "fandom", had found his place of work and harassed him in some sort of way. Jean works with an elite private firm now), a game room, an inside gym, and a sitting room. Your backyard had a pool, a cabana, a garden, and outside guest quarters.

To be perfectly honest, you both found yourself in your offices. You started your own successful wedding planning business and Jean had his cases. Sometimes you felt like a big home was a waste of time. It's not like you had people to live in it for you.

"Jean, we need to talk."

Jean had just come home from work. It was one in the morning. You were standing in front of him in one of your many bathrobes. Jean walks up to you and plants a kiss on your forehead. "What's up, babe? No hi or anything?"

"I'm afraid that you're not taking care of yourself well enough," you start. "What do you mean, baby?" Jean asks mindlessly as he removes his coat. "Oh, would you stop with the baby thing? I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"

Jean looks at you like you hit his mother or something. "I don't think a serious conversation includes you raising your voice at me," he answers. "Excuse me? Your thick head doesn't like to listen to anyone, so we got to yell things into it," you retort. Jean ignores you and makes his way to the kitchen. You're eyes widen- he's never walked away from you before. "Excuse me!” you call after him.

There is no response from Jean, who pulls a white wine from the fridge. "You're not drinking that. Not until you hear me out," you try again. "Well, you could have told me instead of chewing me out about calling you 'baby', y/n," Jean responds. He turns away from you again and starts looking through the cabinets for a wine glass. You take this as an opportunity to take the wine off the island counter and pour it out. Jean's head snaps back once he hears liquids going down the drain. "What the hell is your problem? I can't drink now?!" he snaps.

"I'm worried about you, idiot. You come home late, I never hear you eating, you don't take your double showers and you're always exhausted. You don't think your job is hurting you? I don't even see you anymore. Your job is hurting us!" you cry.

Jean shakes his head and mutters some nonsense under his breath before placing the wine glass he picked on the island counter. He shakes his head as he leaves.

"Are you gonna be like this when the baby is here?" You call out.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you going to be working long hours and act like a jerk when I'm farther along? What about when the baby gets here? At this point, the baby doesn't even have a father."

Jean walks over to you with confusion in his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant, Jean," you say with a small chuckle. I've wanted to tell you this whole time but you've been busy and I just got fed up tonight because I miss you."

Jean doesn't say a word. Instead, he undoes your robe and places a hand on your stomach. "We're having a baby? Are you serious? Us? How..."

You could only smile wider. Seeing Jean in awe about your very small bump was an entertaining sight.

"I'll...I'll talk to my b-boss. In fact, I-I'll q-quit my job...yeah! I'll q-quit!" he finally lets out.

"Oh no, don't do that. Just get your hours fixed and if they don't allow that, we'll find a different place, yeah?"

"S-sure," Jean stutters. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to order something? Do you want socks? What do you want?"

"I think I want you to take a bath and for you to sleep, mister," you answer. Jean still in a trance, obeys.

"I can't believe we had two. I was under the impression there was only one."

"At least they'll keep the big room you painted busy."

Jean had one of your newborns sprawled on his bare chest. You cradled the other one in your arms. A little boy and girl. Your daughter, Maia, already had Jean wrapped around her finger. Your son, Marquis, was a little independent, despite being a few days old.

"I can't believe we made them," Jean says. After your emergency C-section, Jean was back into that trance he was in when you first told him you were pregnant. "We should have one more. We have pretty babies."

"Shut up, Jean."

You never thought you'd allow a camera in your sight again. Obviously, there was the paparazzi that hounded you and your children down on the regular. But a camera allowed by you in your home? Never. Until today.

It's been seven years since you met the love of your life. You're thirty now and Jean is thirty-two. The two little menaces in your home are three. Maia and Marquis were just like their father- silly and full of life unless otherwise. But at least they look like you (except the pieces of ash brown in their hair that they picked up from Jean). You were pregnant with another. You hoped that your child would bring you peace but even if they were as colorful as your two, it wouldn't matter to you.

You sat in the family room with Jean and your twins as the camera team prepared their cameras and other equipment. Jean was trying his best to keep your children in one place, as you adjust your hair.

"Ms. y/n, are you ready?" Your interviewer asks. You nod and Jean gives you a nervous look. "Hey, kids...why don't you go into the sitting room. We'll come get you later, yeah?" you say softly. Your twins start to whine but they also start their walk to the sitting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, I'll count you off now," your cameraman says. You both nod, waiting for the interviewer to start asking you questions.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, I'll count you off now," your cameraman says. You both nod, waiting for the interviewer to start asking you questions.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, it's such an honor to meet you both. Seven years together...amazing. You've been together for almost a decade now," your interviewer starts.

"It's been interesting but it's been nice getting to know my girlfriend of seven years now," Jean says jokingly. "Oh stop it," you reply teasingly.

"How have you changed since the Bachelorette?"

You take a deep breath and Jean looks down awkwardly. "Well, we've been cautious. Obviously, with our privacy but also with the people we allow in our circle," you answer. "We've been in contact with a few contestants and it's been on and off. We've learned that trust is key...not only in marriage but who we bring into it," Jean says.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is in your life right now? Have you been in contact with your father? What about Levi?"

Jean clinches his fist and you take it in your hand, letting him know you were still here with him. "Well, Bertholdt and Reiner are still one of our biggest friends," you answer. Reiner and Bertholdt had a baby recently, a little girl named Gabi, but you decided not to announce that to protect their privacy. "Mikasa and I are still friends and we're still trying to get used to Eren being in her-our lives." Mikasa and Eren met up again and Mikasa was still head over heels for him. You were uncomfortable (because of his silence when his fans harassed your husband) at first but he was good to her. "The twins absolutely adore Levi and Erwin. They're their grandpas," you finish. You still hadn't answered the question about Jean's father.

"And your father? Mr. Kirstein?"

"My father is not in my life. Please stop asking."

The interviewer purses their lips, now feeling embarrassed. “I apologize, Mr. Kirstein. I’ll ask the next question: what are some obstacles you’ve faced in your relationship?”

“Well, we thought we had communication down. But we didn’t…at least not completely. But we managed,” you say.

“I think our children are proof of it,” Jean suddenly includes.

You glare at him and slap his hand, non verbally telling him to shut up. He only gives you a cheeky smile.

The rest of the questions were about hardships, what turned you both on, and your hopes for the future.

When the interviewer finally announced that the last question was coming up, you couldn’t have been happier.

“What are three things you appreciate about each other?”

You look at Jean and then back at the interviewer. “Er-well…I-“

“I appreciate how serious you get,” Jean interrupts, “ how kind you are and how dedicated you are- especially to your children and your career. I wouldn’t want anyone else but you.”

“Jean-“ your voice cracked. It always seemed like you had power over your husband and he was just your dog but he still knew how to overpower you with his words. “I don’t know what to say…you’re so dedicated to our family. Watching you play with our kids, feed them, and put them to sleep- you just prove that you're the perfect man for this job. I see how you treat your mom and I don’t worry about our children and me being mistreated. And you’re so strong. You lost the person who should have been there for you and your mom but you still worked hard and you found some peace. I love you, Jean Kirstein.

Jean takes your hand and kisses it. “I love you too, y/n l/n.”

The End.

once again, thank you for reading the bachelorette! do me a favor and rate this series! it would be very much appreciated :) see y’all soon

[aot-snk-4238]

AOT No Requiem Fanfic Review Part 2

Disclaimer: I am not a supporter of ANR myself, so I knew that I probably wouldn't like most of what this fanfiction is putting out there. That being said, I decided to check it out anyway because I was interested in seeing what changes these people were planning on making. This review is not meant to bash the work or the team of artists and writers behind it. These are just my own personal opinions, and I will try to express them as professionally as I can without coming across as aggressive or rude, as that is not my intention.

After a four month hiatus, it looks like the popular fan fiction Attack On Titan No Requiem is back in action. I'm glad to hear that their creator is doing okay. Since this fan fiction covers the final three chapters, I'm splitting my review into three parts. The first one can be found here so if you haven't read it, you can check that out first. I kept it short and to the point and I intend to try and do that with the rest of these as well, so without further ado, here are my thoughts on the second installment of this short series:

This chapter opens up where the previous one left off, with a clash between Eren and Armin's ideologies, their discussion getting more heated by the minute. Armin still believes in a more peaceful way out of the situation that involves more talking and less bloodshed, whereas Eren sees no other options other than the path he is currently on. Fuming with anger now, Armin grabs Eren by the shirt and this is where the scene transitions to the rest of Eren and Historia's conversation from chapter 130. I still can't believe we were deprived of this in the canon universe, so I was interested to see if any of it would play out in a way that I wasn't already expecting. As it turns out, it did not. I was fully prepared for them to confirm or at least imply that Eren is the father of Historia's baby considering what theory this whole thing is based off of and that's exactly what happened. To their credit, they didn't make it as cheesy and overly-romantic as I was afraid they might, but it still could have used a bit more exposition and time to develop. I didn't care for what appeared to be a brief elopement scene in the woods, though. And was that supposed to be Floch officiating it? That's...just too weird for me. Sorry, but a secret wedding in the woods with Floch as the priest felt more like a joke to me rather than a serious event. I remember when most fans used to hate him, but that changed at some point and now he's quite popular. I can't tell if it's for the sake of memes or if people really had a change of heart. And just to be clear I have no issues with people liking him, I'm just a little confused as to how it came about. As for the whole pregnancy subplot in general, I don't think there's anything that can done to make me like it at this point. It came out of nowhere and it led to nowhere. It looks pretty clear to me that making Eren the baby father is the only solution that people can come up with to have it actually mean something and have relevance, which only serves as further proof to me that it never should have happened in the first place. Even if this team has something clever up their sleeve, I feel like there's only so much they can do to make it better, especially considering that they're only changing the last three chapters. To me, a much better handling of Historia post time-skip by Isayama would have involved giving her a chance to actually be queen and exploring her thoughts on Eren's actions and whether she would have allowed the Yeagerists to take over the island. We saw in the end that she did let them take over, but we're not clearly shown why. We also never found out why Eren was able to change her mind so suddenly regarding his plan and what made her decide to have a child. Not to mention that not once did we get to see her interact with the rest of the cast, which it doesn't look like will happen in this fan ending either. It was just her in that stupid chair and then the baby is born and that's it. I appreciate the AOTNR team's attempt to breathe some life back into her, but it still doesn't make up for all the missing screentime she had from chapter 90 onwards.

Moving on to the last part of this chapter, we see that after learning Eren's secret, Armin has had enough. He calls Eren a hypocrite for hiding what he did with Historia from everyone and how things could have been better if he just trusted them, but Eren is still unfazed. Armin asks Eren why he was brought back into Paths if it wasn't actually going to fix anything, and this is how the rest of the chapter plays out:

I like the way this cliffhanger is depicted. It shows Eren and Armin both as children this time facing each other, each with a determined look on their face while their adult faces shine in the background. It serves as a good visual representation of just how much things have changed between them since their early years and prepares the audience for a huge face-off outside of PATHS where everyone else is still trying to fight off Ymir's horde of ancient titans. Speaking of that, these two fan-made chapters have not given much focus to what's been going on on the outside, unlike Isayama's chapter 138. It looks like their three biggest priorities here are giving us Eren's POV, which we didn't get until the very end, Historia's POV, which we never got at all, and a final boost of character development for Armin. As a result, other important plot points are put on hold, such as what's next for Zeke and the rest of Eren's friends. This, paired with a lack of action sequences, causes the pacing to feel slow. Seeing where we are now, though, I'm assuming that it will pick up next chapter. And now that they've given Historia some much needed attention, I'm interested in seeing if they have any plans for Mikasa. There are a lot of people who strongly dislike her, so changing that perspective into something more positive looks like it's going to be a big challenge and I'll be very impressed if they pull it off. Overall, I thought this chapter was okay. It's very good for a fanfiction, though, and I'm glad that other people are enjoying it. I'll be grateful if it brings at least some level of peace to this fandom in the end, so until next time, thanks for reading ✌.

[kireii-writes]

hey! if your requests are still open, may I please request a Yandere Eren Jaeger where like when he escapes his cell after Marley he has the yeagerists kidnap his s/o?

Stay with me

-

warning(s): kidnapping, yandere tendencies, minor spoilers (for those who haven’t read the manga), a little ooc

-

the surroundings gave nothing away, except for the sound of horses trotting and the rumble and occasional bump of a carriage- the carriage you were in. confusion hit you like a truck at first, and you opened your eyes only to see nothing. you were blindfolded by your captors, and you could feel something like a gag being placed between your mouth, and the thick rope rubbed against your wrists with every move. 

you had no idea how you ended up in this predicament. you were with some of the newer survey corps members, and the next thing you knew you were knocked out cold and woke up on a moving carriage, gagged and blindfolded. with every passing second, your throat felt dryer and dryer, and the thumping of your heart became louder and louder. deciding not to alert your captors, you continued laying down on the hard wood as you desperately tried to come up with a plan. who were these people? what is their main agenda? and most importantly- why were you kidnapped, of all people? there was no knowing what these people might do, and when they might decide to kill you. if they do, you had to think fast to avoid that dreaded outcome. straining your ears, hoping to pick up any noise that could serve as a clue, but to no avail. 

if there’s two people, you could probably take them out before they brought you to the desired location. but to be sure, you had to assess the situation properly. right now, all you could think of was escape. but even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to go far before they caught up to you. deciding to wait before taking the next course of action, the loud thumping of your heart was doing nothing but reminding you that with every passing second that you’re not doing anything, you’re closer and closer to death’s door. 

when the survey corp members that were fighting down below on land boarded the airship, you’d waited eagerly until you saw eren being forcefully hurled into the airship by a rather angry Levi. before you could even ask what was going on, the older man already had aggressively placed eren under arrest as the survey corps members filled in hurriedly. seeing the grim look on Mikasa and Armin’s face, you knew that eren had done something without Levi’s permission. as your eyes met Mikasa’s your doubts had been confirmed. making your way towards her, you tried to ask her what had happened down below when Levi stepped in front of you, the look on his face warning you not to ask about what had happened. 

“you’re not allowed to see eren while he is imprisoned.” Levi ordered you curtly. 

“but why?” you asked, unable to accept Levi’s treatment towards eren. first he places him under arrest, and now he wouldn’t allow you to visit him? 

“because i say so, you damn brat.” Levi answered your question brusquely. “that stupid boy thinks he can do whatever he wants, and since he thinks he’s smart enough to take things into his hands and defy orders, he deserves to be locked up after all the commotion and damaged he created. you better not defy my orders too, y/n.” giving you one last look, Levi walked away along with the rest of the survey corps members, leaving you, Mikasa, and Armin together. 

“i’m going to talk to eren.” you informed the other two. without waiting for their replies, you hastily walked off into the direction eren was being dragged away while Levi and the rest were too busy to keep their eyes on you. just as you were making your way into the basement of the airship, two survey corps members caught you. thankfully, they didn’t hear of Levi’s orders and did not question you as to why you were in the basement when you informed them that Levi had ordered you to head down and grab some supplies. as you watched their retreating forms, you were too focused on not getting caught that you didn’t sense someone coming up from behind you. by the time you turned around, it was too late. the next thing you knew, you were stuck in this predicament. 

as the carriage came to a slow stop, you heard footsteps approaching you and you stayed as still as possible hoping that your captors wouldn’t be alerted of the fact that you were awake. you were then roughly grabbed by the arm before being slung over someone’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes before you felt your captor alight from the carriage. 

staying as still as possible, you struggled to pick up any signs of where you could possibly be. ever since you had woken up, you made sure to take note of every turn and twist of the road the carriage was travelling on. but all of a sudden, the carriage stopped in the middle of what feels like a straight path, and you had absolutely no idea where you were at now. as your mind raced to formulate some kind of plan that would allow you to escape, what sounded like a door was being kicked open and your captor continued walking into what is supposedly a room. upon entering the room, you were being roughly thrown onto a chair, forcing you to bite you tongue to stifle a groan.

“could you be gentler?!” a masculine voice spoke up for the first time ever since you were kidnapped. “if he finds out you’re being so rough, he’s going to kill us both.” at the words of the male, your ears perked up as your mind churned with thoughts. who was he talking about?

without warning, your blindfold was removed from your eyes, and the stream of light attacked your eyes, causing you to blink rapidly and squint against the light. 

“you were awake this whole time, weren’t you?” a gruff voice asked you, and although you couldn’t see who it was, it was clear that there were two captors. “what the hell, if i’d known i should’ve made you walk here instead of carrying you all the way.” 

“knock it out already! this isn’t the way to treat our saviour’s love, if he finds out you’re being rude, your head will roll.” the first man scolded. squinting your eyes as you adjusted to the light, you scanned your surroundings, hoping to find some form of exit. unfortunately, the only exit was behind one of the men who had brought you here. you could try the window to your right, but it would be near impossible to make an escape with the little time you have. as your guts churned with dread and a trickle of cold sweat ran down your spine, one of them had approached you and proceeded to undo the ropes that were binding your hands together. 

“please don’t be afraid of us, y/n.” the man sounded out as he undid the ropes on your wrists. “we don’t plan to hurt or harm you in any way, trust me.” the man continued as you thought of another way to escape. “we’re part of the yeagerists, ad we’ve brought you here as part of our orders from our savior, the one who would save us all from this doomed world. the man offered you a small smile as he stepped in front of you and removed the gag from your mouth.

by now, you weren’t able to think straight. your hands instantly started becoming cold and clammy as you felt the energy drained from you. who are these people, and what are they talking about? ‘our saviour’? who the hell was that? were they planning to use use as a sacrificial or something? you were so caught up in your own thoughts, the pounding of your head getting louder and louder, so much so that you didn’t notice the door opening until you heard a familiar voice. 

“y/n.” at the sound of the third person, you looked up in the direction of the voice that brought you a sense of comfort and warmth all the time. there was no doubt about it- there in the doorway stood eren, your beloved, a smile on his face. 

your first instinct was to run towards and into the arms of the man that would hold you to sleep every night, but the confusion of seeing him here rendered you unable to move from your seat.

“how did you- why are you-” you fumbled over your words as eren made his way towards you and squatted in front of you, a smile on his face as he brought a hand up to caress your cheek. 

“how i escaped isn’t important, y/n. what’s important is that you’re here now, and that it all that matters to me.” eren answered the burning question in your mind, his head buried in your lap. “i’m so glad you managed to make it here safely, y/n.” eren sighed as he nuzzled your thigh. 

“eren, what’s going on? why am i here? why are you here? who are these people?” at your questions, eren couldn’t help but chuckle. “relax my love.” he soothed as he traced circles absentmindedly on your thigh. “these people are part of the yeagerists- people that follow me and like me, believe that this wretched world needs to be changed. and they’ve entrusted me with their hopes and lives to create a new world where everything would be fine. i told them to bring you here, so i could talk to you, my love.”

‘what did you want to talk about?” you questioned as you narrowed your eyes at your lover. you had this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that it was something that could change your entire life. 

“i want you to stay with me.” eren looked up, his eyes never looking away from yours. 

“what do you mean? we could stay together, we already are, aren’t we? we’re still together in the survey cor-”

“no.” eren’s cold and harsh tone cut you off. a look of shock took over your confused one as you looked into the eyes of eren. he had never once raised his voice at you or talked to you in this tone before, why was he so worked up?

“i meant, away from the survey corps, away from anyone who thinks that this world doesn’t need to change.” eren continued in a gentler tone. “the survey corps clearly don’t see the need for me to change this world we live in, but i know you do, don’t you?” 

“eren, are you crazy?!” the words flew out from your mouth before you could even know it. whatever, there was no taking it back, you might as well just say whatever’s on your mind and hope that eren doesn’t kill you. “eren, you can’t defy the survey corps and go about doing as you please, you have a responsibility to uphold! think this through!” you pleaded with eren, but the man clearly had no intention on changing his goals. you knew that once eren was set on something, he wouldn’t waver and change his mind that easily no matter what others told him.

in one last attempt to dissuade him, you brought up the last two people that he wanted to hear about. “what about Mikasa and Armin? have you thought about how they would feel?” you asked gently as you cupped eren’s face in your hands. the slight widening of his eyes at the mention of the two people he was closest to brought a tiny silver of hope into you heart. maybe, maybe he would rethink this after all.

“as long as i have you by my side, nobody else matters.” eren turned and face you, his big hands overlapping your smaller ones. “so will you stay with me, my beloved y/n?”

you were torn. torn between your loyalty towards the survey corps and eren. should you decide to follow the survey corps, you knew that eren would not hesitate to kill you in order to stop you from leaking any information. but if you agreed to follow eren to the ends of the earth and his plans do not succeed and is captured by the survey corps, you knew that Levi and the rest would not spare your life too. 

letting your hands fall to your sides, you tore your eyes away from your lover as you looked down at your feet. swallowing hard, you gave him your final answer. 

“no. i cannot support you this time.” 

at your answer, eren removed his hands from yours, and a deathly silence hung over the both of you like stale air. embracing your fate, you were prepared to die at the hands of eren. slowly, eren got up, and gently tilted your head to look up at him. 

“then i’m sorry, my love.” eren replied, his thumb rubbing your cheek gently. “i’ll have no choice but to take you away from this lie that they have fabricated. i’ll take you away and together, we’ll create a world that you deserve to live in. i didn’t want to take you away without giving you a choice, but i realized that no matter what, i want- and i need you to be by my side. and if it means having to take away your freedom, i’ll gladly do it.” 

“why?” your voice barely above a whisper. 

“because i love you, and i want you to stay with me, no matter what.” eren smiled softly at you. “i promise you, i’ll make this world a place where you’ll never worry about your life anymore, just for you. all you have to do, is to stay with me.” 

[digitalzombie]

On (the updated) Chapter 139.

This is not necessarily a rant. Instead, these are some thoughts I had after reading (the new) Chapter 139 of Shingeki no Kyojin, or Attack on Titan. I also briefly talk about the Rumbling and Ymir’s characterization. Of course, this is not spoiler-free, so beware if you are not caught up with the latest updates on the series/chapter!

Spoilers below:

First and foremost, I enjoyed the series. I wouldn’t call it “perfect,” nor “the absolute best,” but it was entertaining and, dare I say, awe-inspiring. Isayama presented something that not many shōnen mangaka do, which is a realistic take on war and the irreparable actions of humanity. To say that this is a story about mankind fighting monsters is not entirely wrong; in fictional stories, “man is the true monster” tends to be a reoccurring theme, and Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin, is no exception. I’ve said the following in a previous post I made, and I’ll say it here again:

This is mostly a reflection of humanity and the terrible things people are capable of doing when they’re given too much power, and when they’ve been stripped from having any of it. (alienated.zombie)

Was it all for nothing?

All characters are victims of corruption. We saw that with Eldians who were persecuted in Marley and the Eldians on Paradis. The Rumbling was Eren’s desperate attempt to protect his friends more than to protect the island. It is apparent when he refuses the Founding Titan to any of his closest comrades in the flashback in Chapter 108…

By the end of the series, we see time-skip after time-skip of the Island’s growth and eventual destruction. We see a boy encountering the tree where, presumably, Eren was buried. It is different from the other trees, as it is the largest (probably the oldest, too), and bears a huge resemblance to the tree Ymir, the Founder, had fallen into. This seems to tease that everything will begin again—the rebirth of the titans and, potentially, more war.

So, did Eren commit mass genocide for nothing in the end? My answer is no.

Eren fulfilled what he wanted/needed to do, which was to protect his friends (or at least those who survived the battles leading up to the Rumbling). He aided in freeing Ymir. And just as he had hoped, his surviving friends lived for a long time, as suggested in the final panels. Eren’s motives are questionable, and it begs the question: Is Eren selfish? And my answer is yes, although he does not openly show it as he lived his whole life living and fighting for other people’s sakes. Eren is a paradoxical character: he is selfish for choosing his friends over the world but selfless for putting his friends ahead of himself.

Isayama gave us a bleak ending, one that makes sense since something as unforgivable as the Rumbling would be a justifiable reason to start a war--at least in the eyes of the world leaders. We are only given a small glimpse of the attack, so there is no saying if The Rumbling truly was the motivation, or if Paradis acted first. What is true is that the cycle of hate continues. Historia's reign, as well as the rise of the Yeagerists, prove that as time passes, ideals and people in power change. Truly, history repeats itself.

The Rumbling

Side note: Of course, The Rumbling wouldn’t be the absolute best solution to end a war in reality. (I didn’t support it either.) However, I read the manga with the idea that there really was no other way to end the war between Paradis and Marley because the whole world was dead-set on destroying the island, as suggested in chapter 123:

Not to mention that the Association in this part of the series reacted with cheers to the speaker’s sentiment. Even the displaced Eldians were brainwashed to abhor the so-called “Devils” of Paradis Island. We can assume (based on what we know about the views that Marley, the Eldians in Marley, and the advocates for “displaced Eldians” have) that Paradis was the so-called enemy of the world (at least to the public outside of Paradis). Armin and Hange’s approach to the situation, the diplomatic way, was not wrong either; however, given the other nations’ resolve to decimate the island, this strategy would not have worked.

This is where Eren’s plan to wipe out the rest of the world, save the island, comes into play. He did not want to conform to the original plan and repeat the same cycle the Royals have for hundreds of years, which was to sacrifice Historia and her descendants, and the future hosts of the Coordinate. He was only meant to scare the world— to dare them to attack—by waking some of the dormant Colossal Titans. Of course, he chose a different path. The Rumbling, Eren’s Rumbling, was meant to buy time for Paradis’ restoration, to secure their safety, to expand their military forces, and to eventually end the Titans’ curse… which did happen.

Ymir, the Founder

Ymir is the most mysterious character in the series. Due to her lack of speech (as her tongue was cut off), she is easily the most misunderstood. She was abused and used for power; Ymir was a slave—both literally and metaphorically—to Fritz and the following Coordinate hosts. My understanding is that she had some kind of attachment to Fritz and his ideals. Chapter 139 introduces the idea that Ymir did, in fact, love Karl Fritz. I doubt that this is really the case, given that Eren’s words contradict the art on the panel (surely, purposely done by Isayama):

In this panel (chapter 139), she is unhappy: her marriage is a joke, given that her husband flirts with other women (they were most likely his mistresses) while she tended to his needs and continued to have his children. Her “love” for Fritz is not real. Ymir was attached to the idea of love and desired it all the more.

I believe that Mikasa did not necessarily free Ymir; rather, Ymir was inspired by Mikasa’s unwavering love for Eren. Mikasa loved Eren and was able to let go of him despite how much it hurt her. In turn, Ymir finally let go to of her abuser by realizing that what she felt was not truly love. Mikasa suggests Ymir’s true feelings when she says: “Your love must have felt like a never-ending nightmare.”

I should also mention that the panel above does not necessarily mean that Ymir let Fritz die, although this is open to interpretation. I thought that this clearly expressed Ymir’s regrets. Should he have died in her stead, Ymir would have been able to live the rest of her life with her daughters in peace. This might have also avoided future wars, aka, the war on Paradis. However, Mikasa’s words ring true: “It’s only because you brought your children into this world that I stand here today.” There is no way to undo the past. It is true that Eren could have rewritten the past by letting her live and letting Fritz die; however, that would completely change everything: Eren and his friends would have probably never existed, and Ymir would have been trapped in Paths forever, as the Founder would go to a random newborn child.

Another interesting point I’d like to add is Ymir’s appearance. In Paths, she presents herself as a child but finally shows herself as an adult in front of Mikasa. She expresses her fragility via regression, or appearing as her less developed stage in life (childhood) as a coping mechanism. (This can also be said about Eren’s child-like appearance at the start of the Rumbling.) Only after freeing herself from Paths does she take on the appearance of a grown woman. We cannot say that she completely healed from her trauma, but we can say that she was ready to move on.

Why wait 2000 years?

My take on this question is that Eren was Ymir’s answer as he did not bear royal blood and therefore could not command her to do anything for him. Recall that nearly all previous hosts of the Coordinate were of Royal blood. No one understood Ymir, nor seemed to care to communicate with her. Grisha was at the end of his life when he stole the Coordinate and then passed it to Eren.

Potential sequel?

As for the final panels of the chapter, I don’t think that this sets up a potential sequel. Unlike Eren, Armin, and Mikasa during their childhoods, this boy has the freedom to explore the world as is his birthright. He does not have to think or worry about being confined behind tall walls, nor worry about a government's restrictions to question the mysteries of the world. He is free to explore. I think that this is Isayama’s way to tie the story back to that simple dream Eren had as a child. Despite the obvious attack on Paradis in the previous panels, there is reason to believe that not all of Paradis was destroyed. This boy should be proof of that. For now, whether he becomes the new Founder or not is strictly based on our own interpretations.

That’s all I have to say about Chapter 139. Let me know if you’d like me to delve deeper into anything else from AoT! I was thinking about taking a closer look at other characters later on, but I’ll be happy to add my take on anything AoT-related.

[yodawgiherd]

You Were Never Truly Gone ch.3

>>>Read on AO3<<<

The support I'm getting is blowing me away, thank you again, everyone <3 Let's get high on that copium together.

They stared at him.

He stared at them.

Mikasa stared at nothing in particular, her happy smile and blush speaking for themselves.

Returning from its quick trip to the see, the bird landed on that tree and turned its head, intently watching the red fabric wound around the woman’s neck. There had to be a way to peck at it again.

In the end, Jean lost it.

“Of course, this makes perfect sense.”, he blurted, “Three years, three fucking years you are dead and the first thing we see Eren doing is this – cramming his tongue down Mikasa’s throat. I mean…”

A cuff from behind silenced him, Pieck whispering.

“Not the time for this, Kirstein.”

Armin’s will snapped next. Unable and unwilling to talk, he crossed the distance in three long steps practically crashing his weight into Eren’s chest. The former enemy of humanity staggered backward but managed to stay up straight until a second person joined in on the pile. Jean’s weight was too much to bear, quickly followed by Connie’s, and Eren fell, for the second time that day, landing on his back with yet another pained grunt.

His fingers slipped out of Mikasa’s grip as he toppled, and she took a step back to watch them roll around on the grass, her smile widening. Mechanically, mind completely wiped, Pieck lit up a cigarette, then second, then third until she realized what she was doing, frowning at her treacherous hands. A single, fat bead of sweat ran down Reiner’s brow when the realization was dawning at him, his eyes staring at what his brain refused to believe.

The devil of Paradis drew breath, Eren Yeager was alive. Alive and currently being squished by three of his closest friends. This was a nightmare. With an expression of pure terror, Reiner turned to Pieck.

“What the hell do we do?”

And Pieck, the smart Pieck, Pieck who was always exactly right as Zeke used to say, shrugged helplessly. Two more, and now there were five burning cigarettes crammed between her lips, a faint attempt at having the nicotine rush calm her hammering heart, puffing like a chimney. It did not work.

“I can’t believe this.”, a voice from the pile of bodies, most likely belonging to Connie, “You’re back!”

An incoherent mumble that was most likely Eren, muffled by everyone on top of him. It was ignored.

“I thought I’d ever say this,”, Jean added, “but I’m happy to see you, blockhead.”

Not even a peep from Armin and Annie was having a funny feeling, watching the man she agreed to marry hug another man with an expression of pure bliss. On and on it went and Eren would probably perish if Mikasa didn’t rescue him, as she did so often. Gently yet firmly she pulled Connie off with one hand, Jean with the other, and Eren was finally able to breathe again.

Sitting up, he eyed the two members of the party who were watching him with mixed emotions.

“Reiner, Pieck.”

All of the cigarettes fell on the grass, Pieck stomping them out on a reflex. The blonde head next to her was shaking in continued denial.

“This can’t be happening.”, Reiner disagreed with the reality, “Not like this…”

Sensing the change in atmosphere Armin let go and Eren was free to regain his footing. Dusting himself off, the usurper stood up.

“I’m afraid that it is. I’m here.”

“How?”

A sidelong glance to Mikasa from Eren.

“It’s a long story….”

“Well, it’s not like we are leaving without hearing it.”, Annie said, “The sooner you start the sooner you finish.”

Once again intertwining his fingers with Mikasa’s, Eren linked them together, the bond giving him both strength and confidence. And here, under the tree and next to his own grave, he told them everything. His death and what followed, the never-ending search among founder’s memories to locate his, the terrible pains Eren went through to put the pieces of his person back together. Thousand times he died and thousand times he pushed through it, filled with nothing but will to move forward. The determination that he drew from Mikasa, from how much he wanted to be with her. The fear that he might be left forever in the collapsed paths, and the incredible joy he felt once his eyes opened on the trampled field – the site of the last battle.

“You are saying that you didn’t regenerate?”, Reiner’s eyes flew to the grave, inspecting the undisturbed surface.

“No, I was given a new body, that’s it.”, Eren tapped his chest, “I lost all my powers, just as you guys, I’m a regular human being now.”

“That does not matter.”, Pieck interjected, “You are alive, it changes everything.”

“And that is a huge problem.”, Reiner’s voice was weak, weak and tired.

Everything they worked for, everything they tried so hard to achieve was at risk now. The fragile peace would shatter into millions of pieces the second Eren came back, and the war would consume the remnants of the civilization. Tired, so tired from fighting, scared, terrified that the nightmare was not over, Reiner let the heavy words fall from his lips.

“Eren Yeager must stay dead. He can’t be allowed to live.”

What happened next was a blur. In a fraction of a second, Mikasa moved forward, stepping in front of Eren and shielding him with her body. Ice, pure ice appeared in her eyes as she rammed those freezing spikes into Reiner, her voice being the most threatening thing the group ever heard in their lives.

“Try it.”

Trauma is an interesting thing. Reiner had it under control lately, his panic attacks and helplessness weakening with the years following the war’s end. But now, they came back in full force when he was confronted by the image of protective Mikasa Ackerman in all her glory, defending the man who gave him nightmares. No ODM, no blades, not even a uniform, she was dressed in a pink skirt and white shirt, yet she was the most terrifying thing that Reiner ever saw in his life – not to forget, the man has been through the rumbling. His first impression of her, during their training years and later, was a flying demon that put his titan to shame. Later he discovered the other part of Mikasa, the beautiful and tortured young woman that was so incredibly caring and sad, coming to terms with the loss of the love of her life. Now the demon was back, even more terrifying than before, because she just regained the most important person in her life and that joy was threatened.

“Try and take him from me.”, she hissed, and Reiner no longer had the armored titan to protect him.

With a sound of pure terror he fell, raising a hand as if to keep her away from him. Pieck tensed, Jean and Connie were frozen in place, Annie regarded everyone with an unreadable face. If there ever was a situation that needed defusing it was this one, Armin knew, so he slipped between the vengeful Mikasa and cowering Reiner, raising his hands.

“Easy, I’m sure that he didn’t mean it like that. Did you, Reiner?”

Yes, he was scared shitless, but he couldn’t give up. They had to see, they had to comprehend the risk.

“I do, think about it Armin! Think about what would happen if Yeager came back! It would completely destroy everything  we worked for!”

A flash of understanding deep in those ocean eyes and Reiner knew that he got his point across.

“I don’t care what you think, if you lay a finger on Eren…”, Mikasa’s whole body was tense, like a steel spring ready to jump, a feeling that she didn’t experience since the war.

The three years of relative peace melted away like nothing because that incredible happiness she just found, the joy that warmed her whole existence was challenged, and Mikasa would do anything to protect it. Luckily before anything could happen, Armin spoke up.

“Let’s take this somewhere else, sitting around Eren’s grave while he’s right here is creepy.”, he forced an awkward laugh, “Mikasa, you take Eren and head back to your cabin. I and the others will make a quick stop in the city, pick up some food and drinks and join you there. Hell, we must celebrate!”

It was obvious that the tension had to be broken, so no one protested. With a last dangerous look at Reiner, Mikasa walked away, hand clutching Eren’s. And Armin held, he held until they were far enough until he broke.

The grass was soft beneath him as he fell down to his knees, hands clutching his head.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”, the word was a mantra, repeated over and over as the reality truly sunk in, “This is so fucked.”

It was he who needed saving now, and Annie stepped up. Walking over to him, she pulled Armin back to his feet and then into a hug.

“It will be okay, it will be okay.”, she repeated into his shoulder, offering all the support that she could.

Behind them, Pieck helped Reiner stand while Jean and Connie exchanged a look, feeling ignored. When Annie pulled Armin back from the brink and Reiner put himself back together, the group headed back towards the civilization but this time the mood was entirely different. Armin was walking deep in thought, clutching Annie’s hand like a lifeline. Reiner’s expression was haunted, the old fears kept at bay creeping back in. Pieck patted her pockets only to find out that she was out of cigarettes, her usually cheerful smile turned upside down. Jean and Connie were the rear guards, their heads still trying to wrap around the situation. Silence, that ruled the group until they reached the edge of the city, the concrete making Armin turn.

“Guess I don’t have to tell you this, but not a word about Eren to anyone.”

There was a collective agreeing murmur.

“And about the situation…”, Armin sighed, “Reiner, you are right, him coming back is a huge issue. The second the information gets out the Yeagerists will immediately jump him, put him on the pedestal and use him to launch a crusade against the rest of the world. Mikasa is stronger than all of us, but she’s just one woman, she can’t protect him on her own. Obviously, we can’t let them have him, that cannot happen.”

He raised a finger.

“But. We are most definitely not killing Eren again, understood?”

“Yeah,”, Jean agreed, “Once was more than enough. He might be a suicidal blockhead but he’s still my f-friend.”

Yes, the last word was a stammer because Jean just called a man who killed eighty percent of the population his friend, still it was the truth, a bitter one.

“Would be easier if the Ackerman girl wasn’t so obsessed with him.”, Pieck muttered, but to everyone’s surprise was cut off by Annie.

“Obsessed? She’s not obsessed, she loves him.”, her hold on Armin’s hand tightened, “Love is beautiful.”

That shut Pieck up for now, yet her eyes were still calculating. Squeezing Annie’s hand back, Armin smiled at his fiancé before continuing.

“I will figure something out. For now, focus on the fact that our friend is alive, and we must celebrate that.”

Speech finished, Armin turned and headed towards the city, soon flanked by everyone else. After a short discussion on what do they even want to buy, Connie brought up wine, because drinking was now very high on the list of things he wanted to do. Jean was in favor of something stronger, and Pieck needed a new pack of cigarettes, so in the end the group split up, agreeing to meet in the square in half an hour.

The road ahead was treacherous, swimming in front of Connie’s eyes as he walked. Everything he knew, everything that he took for granted in those last three years was just turned upside down. A part of him was happy that Eren was back, a part of him was worried about what that might mean, and a small part of him was even angry. If Eren came back, why couldn’t Sasha? Why couldn’t Hange or Erwin? They didn’t deserve to die either…

But he couldn’t be mad at Eren. He did everything in his power to help them, to protect his friends against the cruel world, and allow Paradis to survive in the future. He even returned Connie’s mother to him, a fact that he was eternally grateful for. Still, the combination of all those feelings brought his legs back into an automatic mode, and he was entering Niccolo’s restaurant without even thinking about it.

Well, this could work, his friend always stocked some good wine.

Pushing the door open, Connie entered, seeing that there was quite a crowd inside. Not much of a surprise, as Niccolo’s place was popular. And still, the owner noticed him immediately.

“Connie!”, he shouted, pushing past his guests to hug him, “Man am I glad to see you.”

Normally, there would be a sort of ritual. They would sit down and drink, talk about what was happening, about Connie’s mission for a peaceful world and Niccolo’s restaurant he had with the Braus family. And as the bottles emptied they would end up talking about Sasha, remembering their dear comrade and crying on each other’s shoulder. But today was not such a day.

“Nicco, I’m so sorry but can I trouble you for a few bottles of wine? I need it for…”

“Mikasa.”, he understood immediately, “Today is the anniversary of his passing.”

“Is that why this place is so full?”

“Of course, Yeagerists love to celebrate.”

“Didn’t Eren get defeated today? Why are they celebrating that?”

“Eh, it's more like a promise to get revenge, a ritual in the honor of their war god to appease him.”, Niccolo rolled his eyes, “Pile of rubbish if you ask me, but their money is as good as anyone’s.”

He clapped Connie on the shoulder.

“Wait here, I’ll bring out something extra for you.”

Leaning on the counter, Connie let his eyes scan over the guests, noticing the number of uniforms. There were even some familiar faces, Hitch and Rico among others, and Connie was glad that Jean did not come here. Hitch had taken a liking to Jean lately, and it was difficult to separate her from him once she was attached.

The click of glass against wood woke him, noticing the vintage-looking bottles.

“One of my best.”, Niccolo said proudly, “Give them to Mikasa with my regards. I’ll probably drop by her cabin soon, a surprise visit with some of my homecooked food will cheer her up.”

The heart went cold in Connie’s chest, imagining what would happen if Niccolo came into Mikasa’s house and saw Eren standing there, very much alive and kicking.

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”, he stammered, “I’d probably send a letter first or something, she didn’t look like she wants visitors.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks for the info, last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable.”, Niccolo’s face fell, “The poor girl suffered enough.”

Collecting the wine and thanking the cook again, Connie reunited with the others and together they walked, all the way to Mikasa’s secluded cabin. It wasn’t a short road but they were all former soldiers, easily crossing the distance even with Jean’s light complaining.

There was food on the outside table, ready to host them, but the woman who owned the place was busy. Busy with being seated in Eren’s lap on the bench, their faces pressed together. Not that Armin blamed her, they had a lot of catching up to do.

“Two minutes.”, Pieck remarked out loud, disturbing their moment, “Two minutes with no god damn kissing, is that too much to ask?”

Red-cheeked, Mikasa jumped down from Eren’s lap, yet her giddy expression quickly changed once her eyes found Reiner. Before she could terrorize him again, he held up his hands in surrender.

“Mikasa, I promise that I won’t try anything stupid, all right?”

She huffed in satisfaction and nodded, their short feud put to rest. The bottle of wine Reiner held towards her felt like a peace offering and Mikasa accepted it, pulling the cork out with her fingers alone, not having any issues. Damn.

Alcohol is truly humanity’s friend. With both the wine and the stronger stuff Jean picked up, the awkwardness and tension melted away, and Mikasa didn’t feel this relaxed ever since their drinking adventure in the refugee camp. Understandable, one could say, since the next time period was filled with literal apocalypse they had to stop. Not everyone made it, she knew, raising a glass in Sasha’s name, a toast that everyone joined. Another one was made for Hange.

And yet It was different in a better way. Eren was here, they were together, and Mikasa was free to do all the little couple things she always wanted - sitting on his lap or playing with his hair, stealing small kisses that made Pieck groan when she saw them. Mikasa was so happy that it felt like a dream. In the end, the emotional stress combined with her tiredness and Mikasa parked herself at the bench, watching her friends with a smile. It was no longer melancholic, it was no longer the feelings of a woman who was missing a huge part of herself because that part was returned, it came home. Now, it was a smile made of pure joy.

The group fell apart into smaller units, courtesy of the night slowly creeping in, and Eren joined Armin and Annie where they sat, staring into the fire.

“I believe that congratulations are in order.”, the ring on Annie’s finger glistened in the light, easily explaining what Eren meant.

“Thanks…”, Annie took a swig, her eyes not leaving Eren’s face, “I still can’t believe that you are alive.”

“Trust me, there are days when I do not believe it either.”

“Do you think that you deserve it?”, now it was Armin speaking, his voice slurred from the alcohol yet clear, “Back in the paths, you told me that you could never live with yourself, you didn’t want me to even try and bring you back. What changed?”

“You couldn’t have done anything, my body was dead and my mind was ruined by the founding titan. I had no understanding of time anymore, past, present and future blended into a mix.”, his fingers clutched the bottle tighter, “It is so terrifying for time to lose its meaning.”

Not wanting to crush the glass, Eren carefully eased his hold before continuing.

“I meant every word that I told you back then. I didn’t want to die, but it felt like the only way, I was damaged beyond repair. Only when the paths started collapsing, and all the memories began to die, I realized one thing.”, his eyes moved over to where Mikasa was sitting, “I could not let myself forget her. Ever.”

A chuckle from Annie.

“Gosh, you have it bad.”

Eren didn’t even bother with denying it, turning back to Armin instead.

“To answer your question, I still don’t think that I deserve to live. I have done things that can never be forgiven, I have destroyed this world.”

“Then why.”, Armin whispered, “Why do you live?”

“Because I was given another chance. Undeserved, but I got it, and I will not let it go to waste. War and death are the farthest things on my mind right now because I have a new goal in life.”, a tip of his bottle towards Mikasa, “I lived my first life for myself, and I will live the second one for her. There is only one thing I want, and that is making that girl the happiest that I can, every single day.”

“I’m not so sure that the world will let you do that. You may have died but your ideas went on, Eren, and not in a good way.”

“The Yeagerists?”

“Strong and growing stronger. Imagine how aggressive they would get the moment they knew that you are alive. Imagine the death and destruction your living will cause.”

“I do not want that, any of it.”

Armin gave him a tight smile.

“Sadly, that is the problem with gods. Their message can be twisted by the prophets.”

The heavy ocean gaze dropping back towards the fire, Eren understood the message and stood up, leaving the pair alone. They were right, of course, his life was bound to cause ripples, considering how important his death was. Yet there was no way in hell that he was ever leaving Mikasa alone again. As long as she would want him, he would be right there by her side. Forever.

Eren let his eyes graze over Reiner and the smoking Pieck but decided not to join them. The blond’s expression was still haunted and the girl’s guarded. They were never his friends, only enemies, they were brought together with the scouts by sheer necessity and Eren had to remember that. His return would cause a lot of trouble, and for Pieck and Reiner it was most definitely not worth it. So instead of poking the wasps' nest, Eren went over to the table where Connie was snoring with Jean at his side. The latter was watching the liquor in the bottle, frowning at the reflections, but he did look up when Eren sat down.

“Eren.”

“Jean.”

“Aah, it’s good to have you back.”

“Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… My return must have caused quite a disturbance in your…”, Eren nodded his head towards Mikasa, “plans.”

“Do you really think so low of me?”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I was dead, and you liked Mikasa for a long time.”

“Sure, but you aren’t dead anymore.”

“Good point,”, Eren raised his bottle, “I’ll drink to that.”

A clear clink produced by the glass invaded Connie’s dreams and he mumbled something, drooling on the table. Putting his bottle back down, Jean tapped it against the wood.

“You know, I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Is that so…”

“Or maybe I do, but it's different.”, Jean sighed, “Look, you didn’t see her, Mikasa was an incredible wreck after you died. My own heart was bleeding just from seeing her, and even after she moved on she always broke when near your grave.”

A pang of guilt in Eren’s chest, growing stronger when Jean kept talking.

“She loves you, you dumb blockhead, she loves you so much that I can’t put it into words correctly and yet you kept being an asshole to her for so long. Fuck, I want to punch you.”

“Then go ahead, I promise I won’t fight back. I deserve it.”

And Jean almost did it, but then he remembered how Mikasa reacted when Reiner only implied hurting Eren, and his hand fell back to his side. Call him a pussy, but Jean didn’t feel like dying today.

“Maybe another time.”

The bottle caught the light as Eren twirled it in his fingers, obviously putting together another sentence.

“Listen, Jean, if I didn’t come back, if I stayed dead, would you make a move on her?”

And he thought about it, long and hard, put his drunk brain to work, and came up with a plausible theory.

“I guess I would, once she would heal. Mikasa is an amazing and well, incredibly beautiful woman, and I do like her. But that is meaningless now. If there is one thing I like more than Mikasa it’s seeing her happy, and your return made her the happiest that she ever was. This thing between me and you? That was never a competition. Her eyes were only for you, bastard, a blind man would see that. ”

“Well, I guess that you could call me blind.”, Eren chuckled.

“Blind and stupid, you are lucky that Mikasa has enough brains for both of you.”, Jean gestured with his bottle, “Go, go back to her, I feel like passing out now.”

And pass out he did, head hitting the table and bottle falling on the grass. Leaving his friends to rest, Eren crossed the distance to the bench, sitting down next to the woman with a red scarf and offering her his lap, an invitation that she took and climbed into.

Together they watched the stars but didn’t sleep, lost in each other’s presence while their friends snored all around them. Armin and Annie huddled together by the embers, Jean and Connie by the table, Reiner curled on the ground and Pieck that somehow managed to fall asleep in a sitting position, a burned cigarette butt between her fingers.  The night was warm enough, there was no need to disturb their rest.

Hours passed yet Eren still didn’t feel tired, stargazing with the girl in his arms that meant more to him than all those lights in the sky combined. When the sun began to peek over the horizon, Eren broke the silence.

“Hey, Mikasa.”

She half turned in his arms, letting Eren see a part of her smile.

“Hm?”

“What am I to you?”

“Oh no,”, she giggled, shaking her head, “not this again.”

“Come on,”, nose sliding over her shoulder, Eren nudged her, “Tell me.”

It took a bit more persuasion from his side, but in the end she gave in. Fully turning on Eren’s lap, Mikasa took his face in her hands, pressing their foreheads together.

“If you need to know, then I will stand behind what I carved on the headstone.”, her lips came even closer, hot air washing over Eren’s as she spoke softly only for them to hear, “You are my most beloved, my dear.”

She kissed him, he kissed her, and everything was great until a bottle shattered on the wall, one that someone threw at them, albeit very inaccurately.

“Two. Minutes.”, Pieck groaned, “Damn you!”

The sound woke Connie up, jerking awake.

“I need to piss real bad.”

That was all he said before darting towards the forest.

The commotion eventually roused everyone, and the ragtag group had a small breakfast before saying their goodbyes.

“You know I’m super happy that you are alive, but please don’t do anything rash.”, Armin was saying, clutching Eren’s hand, “I promise that I will think of something. In the meantime, the Yeagerists can’t catch wind of you. Even worse, imagine what the rest of the world would do if they knew.”

Mikasa’s cabin was secluded, the risk was low but it was there, and Armin was feeling uneasy about this whole setup. Yet there was nothing better to be done. It would be an interesting meeting with the queen when the ambassadors were all nursing throbbing headaches, yet one does not keep Historia Reiss waiting. Apologizing for the mess they left, and Mikasa was once again alone. If one didn’t count the man that was supposed to be dead, that is.

They cleaned the bottles together, working in unison achieved by years and years of working under captain Levi. After that it was finally time to get some rest, but when Eren entered the cabin a certain fact came to the light. Mikasa had only one bedroom, as she was living alone, which presented a potential problem.

“I can take the couch.”, he offered immediately, never in his life wanting to push her into something she wouldn’t want.

All Mikasa did was tighten the hold on his hand, pulling him towards the bedroom.

“You died, came back to me, and still you want to hide behind those walls? I meant it when I said that I want to be with you, all of you, so please stop this nonsense. You claimed that you loved me, so give in to those feelings, nothing is stopping us from doing so anymore.”

It must have been the remnants of the alcohol that made Mikasa this bold, yet the slight blush was present on her cheeks anyway. That subtle pink dusting was incredibly endearing and Eren had to kiss it, making her redden even harder.

“Lead the way.”

Entranced by her graceful movements, by her ethereal beauty, Eren allowed himself to be pulled into that single bedroom, eyes only for the girl he loved so much that the feeling brought him back to life.

Literally.

[liberons]

so anyways have a weird pseudo-meta on the 239894 ways levi’s character could’ve been better used story-wise

tbh i do believe yams had it in him to write a nice, tight, cohesive story where everything could’ve fallen in place well enough -- at least to the point where actions made sense with reference to established character personalities and arcs within the story. i have no issue with regression, but you can’t make it half-assed or just. entirely left-field and leave it at that and ok moral of the story i’m like, 90% sure come from being far too invested in the fandom as an author. NEVER change your story because of someone else’s opinion when it’s SERIALISED y’all.

SECTION  I .     KILL  HIM  OFF  !

let’s be honest !!!  this is the most obvious !!!  we get it he’s popular, you’ll get backlash, yaddi yadda ya girl’s tired.

(  i .  )   why didn’t eren kill him.

why

remember what levi was actually established to DO early on? the whole “i’ll take care of eren if he goes manic”? his WHOLE NARRATIVE PURPOSE? would be great if we, you know, played with that At All.

how fucking FRIGHTENING would eren’s final form be if it just fucking nipped levi in the bud? if levi, completely fine and uninjured, stayed true to his word and lead to handle eren, just to be fucking annihilated? eren has like 60 fucking titans inside him INCLUDING the activated founding. I THINK IT’S PRETTY FAIR TO REDEFINE HIM AS BEING FUCKING OP NOW.

just define some real form of tension come on.

this could’ve also just. so naturally shifted the tension in mikasa’s direction. literally everyone instinctively has mikasa jotted down as second-best-next-to-levi, both in and out of canon. it would make sense for other characters to just eye awkwardly in deciding mikasa ‘has’ to be the next one to try through the framing bias that presents. 

right now it’s like it’s not even her choice but everyone decided it would be for no goddamn reason. why does mikasa need to be ok with killing eren at all??? why cant one of YALL do it????????? and like mikasa kills him but then presents absolutely no real conclusion in doing so. we get 0 insight into what’s really going on in her head and WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE IT !!!!!!!!!!

(  i i .  )   zeke if yOu’Re goNnA do it dO it RIGHT

to stay more true to canon, here’s way better ways zeke could’ve actually been rid of him that aren’t. regressing and dumb lmao:

zeke’s still a war chief, he’s had YEARS of troop strategy / planning up his sleeves. why didn’t he use turning levi’s squad into a means to set up some real traps because what’s he gonna do to a bomb, huh? Fight it?

or better yet, spike more than just levi’s squad and just have swarms and waves of mindless titans coming in to provide that distraction.

or have more help?? there’s all the yeagerists at your disposal and not ONE can secretly set something up with you?

overall like zeke should know levi’s skill and levi shouldn;t have to assume zeke’s not ?????????????? “willing to die”??????????? WTF????? AREN’T YOU WHY WOULDN'T HE BE?????

god anyways

zeke kills levi u know what that sets up? the fact that he’s pretty fucking clever and powerful on his own???? so now when eren & zeke team up to cause the rumbling, regardless of zeke’s original intent, would make them Far more horrifying to the rest of the crew; 

tbh i feel like this should mean moving the ‘reveal’ of eren’s betrayal to the very end of the manga when eren explains everything through path visions bc at least it keeps his moral grey area more.... grey. 

we know by the end that he betrayed zeke so it’s like ok So Yes He’s Doing Summ For The Greater Good But What and at least this would balance the scales of mass murder a lil by not snipping all the men i fucking Guess lmao god

(  i i i .  )    RUMBLE HIM

step on him 

but really he can just??? die during the rumbling???? point blank??????????? why were there not more major character casualties lmao boi

if the colossal titans are just far too many and far too boring, all the previous titans on eren’s back is so delicious and should’ve been drawn out im not sorry about it.

where’s the 349873 iterations of character x character teaming up and slowly getting better at absolutely Slicing these bastards? WHERE ARE THEY? 

i want my warriors x stray marleans x survey squads just dedicated to keeping the 9 titan iterations out of eren’s neck.

he could’ve finally killed zeke here too but i’m gonna get to that whole thing lmao god.

we've also established him getting wounded when others are involved (à la leg injury helping mikasa) so have him??? sacrifice???? to help others like finish his empathy arc

let him sacrifice himself by keeping the titans back while armin blows up idc

and for all of these — it doesn’t even have to be a quick death. let him lose a body part and die of blood loss. let his organs fail. let him get infected like yo not every death has to be in 3s flat.

SECTION II .     OR  DON’T  !

like. let’s just say there’s absolutely no way your publicist is gonna let you kill this character. you love him too much / he’s become a weird self-insert. ok sure. YOU CAN STILL DO SOMETHING.

( i .  )  why does he just. not grow.

he’s five three but does his heart have to be?

anyways fr he’s literally a huge fucking asshole and he doesn’t grow out of it. no one ever point out that it’s terrible. the biggest blacklash he gets is historia punching him like pew. and it’s not even addressed why she did that. it’s just like haha, yep.

can we get him some uhhhh??? clear empathy ???? some actual growth?? like we know he went from the guy beating eren up Excessively to forcing historia to be queen to giving armin the colossus, and then back to just slicing zeke up uselessly and caring about one (1) thing. like he was clearly on a path somewhere.

like first of all, holy fuck get over it. it’s like he had a manic episode for 4 years just obsessing over killing zeke when the game changed buddy??? it’s been established that the issue is No Longer zeke why are we so hard on this. his entire character just becomes kill monkee because his arc is DONE so if we’re going to keep him around find something else?? or CONTINUE to develop him.

make him grow his soft skills as a leader. make him learn how to stick around his team and know exactly how to fall back. 

if he’s injured, make him LITERALLY stay back and learn how to handle those he has to keep back with him.

make him struggle keeping morale. 

make him argue with some of the non-paradisians, or even those from paradis that are like what the FUCK and just learn to offer his perspective.

if he’s so obssessed with zeke maybe uh?? address that with someone???? talk it out with your therapist buddy you’ve clearly not come to terms with the fact you let erwin die and he has no reason to be so caught up by that and if he does like lmao ok let us see and understand it???

( i i .  )   do something with the ackermans

that’s it that’s the post

idek what else to put here i want this fucker dead

[ymirhistoriafan]

Ymir Post Time Skip. (Part One)

So I have been wondering just how our favorite Ymir would have felt if she made it to the post time skip and when invasion of Marley starts.  Of course these are just my ideas, don’t take them too seriously or anything.  Let’s just say a lot events up until the time skip stay the same.  Only Ymir returns with Historia and the scouts.  Maybe Reiner and Bertolt were given some leniency by Zeke once they told him that Eren had the Founder and Attack Titans.  Mean While Erwin unsure about Ymir keeps her hidden somewhere else with away from everyone else until he can figure out what to do next.  Ymir may not have been happy but perhaps Historia talked her into trusting them.  So now the Up Raising and Battle of Shiganshina parts can pretty much go the same, with Ymir side lined due to the distrust she has given the Scouts.  After the basement reveal and with Historia is Queen, Ymir’s story can now be confirmed.  And while she’s still not seen in the best light, she at least has some plausibility back, and she stays by Historia’s side.  Now to the point... I can see Ymir pretty much acting like she always has over the years with everyone.  I think the biggest problem she would have is when the 50 year plan is brought up and Historia quick to agree if it’s for the best.  This maybe the only time Ymir and Eren truly see eye to eye and strongly voice their disapproval of this.  Ymir would show some disappointment in Historia for letting the old “Krista” come through, and maybe give her an ear full again.  Still, Ymir is now very distrustful about some of these nation leaders and is worried that Historia will become a sacrifice.   We’ll keep Historia and Eren’s Fight or Flight Conversation between them for now and we’ll say it’s in two parts as it could very well be (Which makes it easier for me to break down where Ymir could stand too).  Ymir may choose the Flight option once Historia shares the conversation with Ymir, but Historia doesn’t want to abandoned the Orphans.  Ymir may protest at first, but she has also come to care for the children and agrees that running isn’t the best option.  Ymir doesn’t isn’t sure what to do and considerers fighting back to protect Historia if it comes too it, no matter the cost to her own self.  But knows they are in a bad situation now.

Eren and Historia meet for the second time.  This is when Eren proposes his true plan and the Rumbling to Historia.  Historia is horrified at the prospect and the conversation pretty much goes the same way we have seen.  Eren remind her of the cave incident, which could also prone the memory of her Promise to Ymir (Which can still apply even with Ymir alive) while she knows they are running out of options.  She asks Eren the infamous question “What if I had a child?” in hopes of pro longing her life and giving him the time he needs so that the MP’s don’t bring back Zeke and force Historia into eating him.  When she informs of this to Ymir, Ymir is furious.  I think she would now feel Eren is manipulating Historia and is disgusted with his plan showing signs she is struggling to understand why Historia is going along with it and keeping it a secret.  An argument would break out between the two, but Ymir not having any better ideas soon finds herself losing it.  While not happy, Historia manages to calm Ymir down and make her see why they should go along with it.  How ever now Ymir (like Historia) is feeling very torn inside about what is about to happen.  

Historia then tells Ymir she plans to have a child to protect herself.  Ymir may misunderstand her intent at first and expresses her disgust at using a child’s life the why Historia is considering, but again finds herself on the losing end the debate.  She still cares and wants the best for Historia and knowing she is Queen and one day may have wanted to become a mother of her own, reluctantly accepts the idea. However now tension between Historia and Ymir are starting to form, and maybe Ymir seems to be acting more coldly towards Historia while she is trying to processes this whole thing.  Mean while the months roll on, Eren carries out his plan in Marely.  It mostly goes the same, minus Marley having the Jaw Titan on it’s side, and Eren defeating the War Hammer in a different manner.  But other than that the same results are gained.  Of course then we get to what happens next with The Yeagerists and the start of The Rumbling.  I think this is when Ymir would really start to feel the pull between what she wants, and what is right. I shall get to this in Part Two.  Thanks for reading.