#not even past
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’
#i don’t know how to explain this to normal people 😭😭#for the record my coworkers didn’t directly question me on this#but i think i have vastly overestimated the amount of the population who is aware of like. Films.#NOT claiming that i have seen a lot - but i’ve mentioned three *REALLY* well-known films in the past four days#and got blank stares each time#the one of them was a REALLY good reference too… someday my top-notch association skills will be recognized#my first act as Mansion Acquaintance of the [redacted] Director will be to force everyone to watch a 40s romcom i didn’t even like#i’m getting off the point#the POINT is that It’s About The Catharsis
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Let the poor man rest.
#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever#and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed#he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death#second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gege akutami#my two cents#satosugu
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule
#acesan#one piece#portgas d ace#sanji#monkey d luffy#comic#ive been meaning to make this comic for like a year Btw. and it got stunted for 6 months cuz I couldn't get past a part that was like#Slightly too ooc for my liking without fuckin up the whole thing even tho its already stupid as is ANYWAY. SOLVED IT OBVIOUSLY so yaaay#i spent so long on it and it still had mistakes. but gues what I Fucking Ball#also initially posting this on twitter was such a headache because the alt text limit is so Small so i was like ok Fuck My Life i guess#anyway. blow s a kiss to the crowd. Enjoy my insanity
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In Defiance of Death
#I'm glad we lost him without ever knowing his past identity#I'm glad we parted with him as Adar#I hope wherever his kind go after death#he'll be forgiven just as he forgave Galadriel ;_;#I hope sun shine on his green grave#i hope he feed life even in death#sage blossom and song of birds#namarie Adar!#pimsriart#pimsriaet2024#rop#trop#the rings of power#rings of power#adar#adar rings of power#pimsriart2024#tolkien stuff#jrr tolkien#jrrt#tolkien
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I'll give them shelter like you've done for me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#itafushi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk art#fushiguro tsumiki#took all afternoon but we wrangled the colours in2 submission#it was looking very green and kind of muddy#so i toned down the saturation in a bunch of places pulled in a lot more grey#kept a lot of the shadows Hard#i think it works#not sure it's the absolute best it cld be but i am Satisfied with it#overall i ws just kind of worried that it was looking rly similar to past pieces colour-wise#i think it kind of still Is but not as much as it would have been had i not made those edits#anyway. emo hours#ive been listening to jubyphonic's piano arr of shelter and thinking abt megumi#thinking abt him growing up n looking back on himself n seeing himself in tht lonely little boy#'it's a long way forward so trust in me' smth smth finding the strength to guide that kid forward even though both of u are scared#bc at the end of the day u Are still that kid#inner child stuff usually doesnt resonate much with me bc i don't like who i was/am/whatever this aint abt me#but in regards to megumi????? OW#in lighter news i remembered at the absolute last minute to lob off the top of yuuji's ear#bc that injury at least i think he keeps ghfssdfhfgsj
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Someone's last crush didn't live up to the hype 😬
#yes fyodor literally called dazai by name a second ago what of it#WHY did he say it like that!! ''atsushi i'm going home to sleep come with me 😘'' WHAT#i don't even know if this should count as ship art it reads more like fyodor's obsession with dazai grasping at straws to bounce back#up next: fyodor's past flirting with natsume TRUST dazai was the also a bounceback bf#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd spoilers#bsd manga spoilers#bsd 119#bsd atsushi#bsd nakajima atsushi#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoyevsky#nawy's comics#i tried to get something out of this comic but i have so much trouble being funny these days i'm so dissatisfied with everything😔
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#illustration#I think I like best how it's a recall of klimt's figures but in contrast D is alone - an emphasis of his solitude#The gold surrounding him a symbol of his status and how above it all he his - looking past us to something we can't even imagine#Don't forget to check out the VHD Zine ! P-O opened yesterday ( can't believe Saiko of all people is in it omg )#also yeah ~ I'll be making prints of it~#I have to get things into order but do keep an eye out if you're interested!#I think it'd be cool to look into gold foil too ooh ꒰´͈ 0 ॣ`͈⌗꒱💖#Hmm ~ but yes the motif I had going into this drawing was the “horseman of death”#makes me think about the brothers and which ones they would symbolize of the the remaining horsemen....#anyways have a wonderful day ! (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )っ♡#and now onto the next D drawing🌚
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Well, someone just pushed all of Kris' buttons at once
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#kris dreemurr#frisk#lesslo#and here we have kris' breaking point#screw the whole “let's avoid fighting” plan#someone needs to make that cupid shut his stupid mouth#and kris wants to be that someone#but hey#here we get a little more insight into kris' past#looks like they got even more in common with frisk than we thought#even frisk is clearly surprised by that#this is also why kris related so much with frisk's own struggles#they just didn't want to admit it#must be a sore spot
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Titans: ...what do you have there, Roy?
Roy: oh! This is my daughter, Lian! Say hi Lian!
Titans: She doesn't much look like you...
Roy: oh yeah she takes after her mom more
Titans: and who is she?
Roy: Chessire
Titans: ......the assassin who has tried to kill us so many times?
Roy: Yep!
Titans: ......okay, warn us next time when you get into a relationship, please-
-
Roy: Hey! I know it's been a while, but I thought I should tell you, I'm dating someone!
Titans: oh, we're happy for you! Who is it?
Roy: Red Hood
Titans:
Roy:
Titans:
Roy:
Titans: .....the same Red Hood who cut off people's heads and put them in a bag, attacked the Tower and has tried to kill or maim Batman and everybody else in Gotham multiple times?
Roy: Yep! 🥰
Titans: .......we are sensing a pattern here and it's a worrying one-
#roy harper the certified villain fucker#he has a very specific taste#dark haired criminals with a traumatic past whose names start with a j#everyone: roy blink twice if you are in danger#roy: awww guys he isn't like that anymore-#everyone: he shot someone in live tv last week!#roy: everyone makes mistakes! and the guy didn't even die!#everyone: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER#roy: YES IT DOES#dc#jayroy#roy harper#jason todd#arsenal#red hood
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thinking about a Damian who was raised his entire life hearing how much he looks like his Father, how he's the blood son, how he's better than any other child Bruce Wayne has taken in, starting to buy into it like a kid does, only to hit puberty and turn out looking like 80% Talia.
#you know how some kids look like one parent until adulthood?#that's what i hc for damian#he looks like bruce until puberty#as an adult he looks like talia#bruce wayne#batman#damian wayne#talia al ghul#dc#batfamily#thoughts#something something social currency but only within the batfamily#it's a sore subject#and they roll their eyes when damian says dumb shit like this#because they know ra's and talia fed it to him since infancy#but then he grows up and slowly stops saying it#and they have to wonder if damian is disappointed#or if he's grown past caring#maybe this is a wild hc idk#i'm just rambling in between meetings#i KNOW he looks like bruce in canon as an adult#but like#i want him to be 5'8 and look like talia#I find it such a satisfying book end to the emphasis placed on him as the blood son#and I think he deserves to be more than just a bruce clone you know#even if the transition stings
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akademiya shenanigans
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#genshin impact#i think about their past relationship being defined by ‘best friends’ a lot. not even that deep but it does crazy things to my brain
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They're both autistic (and ADHD) 2 me
#was anyone else taught to treat eye contact like a game you can win or was that just me and Stanley 🤝#anyway hc that as a kid Stanley always tried to be the strength to Fords weaknesses (and viseversa)#meaning that if Ford was bad at eye contact then he HAD to be good at it (even if he didn't like it much either)#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#pines twins#young pines#kings of new jersey babeyyyyy#young stanford pines#young stanley pines#fan art#fanart#gravity falls fanart#my art#the entire pines family is autistic and adhd btw. source: I am autistic (and likely adhd) and am massively projecting onto them <3#alt text now fixed!! damn copy paste cutting off half the description
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Summer Times
Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!
#i hope everyone is doing well!#ive gotten quite a bit of asks these past two weeks and i apologise for being so silent with art#i didnt bring my laptop with me and didn't have the proper environment to set it up even if i did so i couldn't really draw#i want to properly answer questions and make lore posts with more than just text so i hope you can forgive me#everything is going to be answered in due time#all my art projects are also getting completed and i really hope you'll like them because i think they're pretty cool!#for one instance im learning krita to make a bad end au themed animatic#if im successful i might even get to make an actual short episode one day which would be cool i think#once again thank you for the support despite my abscence#super mario#super mario bros#smb#luigi#mario#princess peach#mareach
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