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ilikemesometaetaes · 4 years ago

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Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Chapter Six (M)

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader (slight)

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @dariangarcia, @btssmutgalore, and @junghoseokit for supporting my work. To my mamas, Kaitlin, Adora, Lauren, Lanie, Lu, and Sher.

•••> Word Count: 7.81k

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Warnings: angst, dirty talk, sexual teasing, heartbreak, cursing, pining, depression, breakup, emotional instability, arguing | Warnings are written specifically to chapter.

Taglist: @dariangarcia @apurpledheart @itsgottabeyoo-ngs @hytibm @namjinsbaby @ggukkieland @fan-ati--c

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, say so in a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page, or send me an ask!

NAVIGATION: Chapter Five (M) <- | -> Chapter Seven (M) -> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

•••> Official Playlist

~#~

“I put the dirt into dirtbag. Still got your jacket in my bag.”

THEN.

“Kookie!” You screamed in between breaths, eyes watering at the struggle. “Stop! Please!”

“No way!” His laugh was buried in your hair as he pressed his face against the back of your head. “Apologize!”

“For what?” You wheezed, attempting to get away from the curling fingers that tickled your ribs relentlessly. His long legs were wrapped around your body, restricting your movement and effectively taking away almost any opportunity to escape.

“For calling me a singing demon!” His hands continued their assault, sending you into another laughing fit. You fought helplessly against his tattooed arms.

You wanted to bite back, but the lack of air in your lungs prevented you from doing so. Your heart beat wildly, adrenaline spiking and arms flailing against his grip. Desperation flooding your mind, you wrapped your hand around the one that caged your neck and dug your nails into his flesh in hopes that the pain would get him to weaken his hold.

Jungkook only laughed again and hummed teasingly. “Oh, just like that. Harder, baby.”

Squirming didn’t help much, but when you shifted your hips and felt something poking into your spine, you huffed with defeat on the horizon. His obvious boner signified that he liked your struggle- a clear indicator that there was no way he was letting you go any time soon.

Unless…

With another shift of your hips to grind your ass upwards on him, seating his dick between your clothed ass cheeks, you let the situation take over your body with your brain rewiring into a horny mindset in order to distract him.

“Jungkook,” You whispered through a gasp, hoping the change of pace would throw him off. It was a stunt you always pulled; whether it be during an argument or sex, changing the pace would unfocus your boyfriend’s attention and give you the upper hand.

Sure enough, Jungkook’s embrace around you loosened so that he could give himself more room to slide his manhood against you.

“Oh, baby...” He grunted into your ear with a sliver of surprise tainting his lust.

Slowly, so as to not trigger him, you slid one hand down his stomach and slid two fingers below the waistband of his shorts. With your body on top of him, you couldn’t go further inward, so you settled on harshly scraping your nails across his hip while you dug your other hand harder into his forearm.

“Please.” You said with more air in your lungs. Finally, you could breathe.

“Are you begging for me to fuck you?” His dick twitched against you, desperate to bury itself between your thighs. “Or are you pleading for mercy? Tell me, Y/N,”

Jungkook flipped the two of you over so that your chest pressed into the bed and his entire body pinned you to the mattress with a swift cant of his hips. “Which one is it?”

For a moment, you rolled your eyes and struggled to look at him from your compromised position. It wasn’t until your eyes caught sight of the numbers on the clock sitting on the nightstand that you began struggling with a new burst of concern in your mind.

“Jungkook!” You wheezed. “The time!”

“Answer my question, Y/N. I can stay here all night. The stage can wait.”

“But you’ll be late!” Your voice increased in volume.

“Only if you continue avoiding my question…” Jungkook trailed off for a moment before he leaned down to murmur softly in your ear. “Well, I’ll only be late if you refuse to let go of your pride to ask for mercy and beg for my cock instead. I will rearrange your guts if that is what you’re asking for.”

You huffed in frustration, the desire to fuck your boyfriend dissipating with his words. You knew that Jimin would be through the roof by now, searching high and low for the lead singer of BTS to dress him properly.

“Mercy.” You finally grumbled in defeat, not wanting to delay him any longer.

Almost disappointedly, Jungkook grunted as he removed his weight from on top of you. “Fine.”

“I’ll go turn on the car.” You got up and swiped the keys off of your dresser, thankful that you were still dressed in your internship clothes.

“You go do that.” Jungkook chuckled whilst sliding his shorts off of his body to reveal a very obvious boner tenting his boxers that you pretended to be oblivious of. “You’re a master at turning me on so I trust you with that.”

“Ew.” You grimaced at the poorly-delivered joke. “That was terrible.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was clever.” Jungkook chided.

“Not at all.” You quipped. After you watched him slide a pair of jeans up his muscular legs, you turned to leave. You just needed to make sure he got dressed. “I’ll be in the car.”

~#~

Jimin’s knowledge of art always mystified you. His prowess wasn’t the type of intelligence like knowing how Picasso depicted the loss of innocence in Guernica or how the melting clocks of Dali introduced surrealism to the world of art- no, that was Taehyung’s strong-suit.

Jimin knew how to create his own version of art that left viewers wistful and in absolute awe by making a stage the vessel of his masterpieces.

As you sat on the balcony, overlooking the crowd while they all thrashed and jumped to the beat of Hoseok’s bass drum and the duo of guitars that was Namjoon and Jungkook, you just had to sit back in your chair and stare at the composition that was Jimin’s show.

Flashes of blue and red lights swept across the crowd, printing themselves temporarily into the crowd’s retinas so that when the opposite color came back, a light hue of purple was brought into the experience for a fleeting moment. Short puffs of fire whenever Namjoon strummed a power chord warmed your face, even from the distance in which you sat from the stage, and lasers shot through the crowd every time Yoongi penetrated the sounds of his group with the keys of his keyboard.

Graphics on the jumbotron behind the band, which were also of Jimin’s creation, outlined each member with curls of dark, tentacle-like wisps that matched the purple hue of the crowd with its raven color.

The last song of the setlist, Blue and Grey, was one you were all too familiar with. The lights faded to a soft blue for a moment as Taehyung began the first strong notes with his bass and the crowd in the venue whooped and hollered in excitement- Blue and Grey was BTS’ most popular song. A year and a half into their journey of being a band and they already had a crowd favorite.

As Taehyung continued his bass line with his guitar and tattooed strumming arm put on display by Jimin’s spotlight, Jungkook leaned into the mic and began strumming his own guitar.

“Where is my angel?”

You sighed and leaned forward in your seat, loving the way Jungkook’s voice carried throughout the performance hall.

Taehyung accompanied Jungkook with the intro until Hoseok joined in to transition into the first verse with his high hat and snare drum.

Once the chorus hit, you couldn’t help but stand from your seat as you began to feel the power of BTS’ music rocking the venue.

“I just wanna be happier. To melt the cold me.”

Jungkook’s neck veins bulged from his skin as he belted out the notes, sweat dribbling down his temples from exertion. Even as he huffed for breath in between his lines, the image of him dressed in all black and owning the stage while ripping his fingers through his guitar strings was one you could never get tired of.

The songs were full of angst- the dark, unspoken feelings that not many people talked about- and you loved how you heard them from Jungkook through music. If only he were this honest when it was just the two of you.

“Don’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not okay.” Jungkook closed up his lines with a heartbreaking tone that every fan in the crowd sang along with as Namjoon prepared to sing his part. For a brief moment, your boyfriend met your eyes across the large venue.

“Please don’t leave me alone. It hurts too much.”

~#~

NOW.

You walked into your building, grateful for the warm protection it offered against the freezing winter of New York City.

Noticing the lack of staff around, being that there was only the elevator operator and the receptionist sitting behind the marble counter, you glanced at your watch to check just how long you spent working.

20:17, your watch read. You had been working in front of computer screens and reading contracts for almost 9 hours.

“Greetings, ma’am!” The receptionist stood from his chair. “May I be of any service to you this evening?”

You shook your head to the man and continued on your path to the elevator where the other employee in the lobby waited to take you up. “None needed. I’ll be leaving momentarily.”

“Very well. Please let me know if you need anything.” He sat back down and turned his gaze to the computer in front of him.

The sound of your pumps echoed against the vast but empty room until you stopped in front of the elevator where the woman already had the doors opening in preparation.

“Good evening, ma’am.” She said lowly.

“ ‘Evening.” You responded, stepping inside without another word. The woman kept the conversation at that, which you appreciated, so you smiled at her in gratitude after you placed your key in the penthouse slot. She returned your smile with her own before the doors closed to encase you in silence.

The ride up was quiet, warranting you to pull out your phone so that you could read over your conversation with Taehyung again.

Why am I wearing think socks? I hate thick socks.

Read at 8:01 pm

Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Is that so? Why?

Read 8:03 pm

Just wear the damn socks, Y/N.

Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?

Read 8:04 pm

Negative, captain

Why am I a captain now

Read 8:04 pm

Cuz I said so. Now stop talking or you’ll make me give away my position

Alright.

Read 8:05 pm

I said stop talking

…?

Read 8:05 pm

Fucking hell.

You let a small giggle slip past your lips at how normal the text conversation was. It was as if you never stopped talking to him, slipping into the normalcy of having Taehyung back in your life as quickly as it had been to cut him out of it. You zoned out for a moment in thought.

The strange sensation of friendship didn’t take any getting used to as it settled itself back into your bones and filled your heart with warmth like it never left- like the ice covering the beating organ was only temporary. As you stood alone, staring shallowly at the increasing floor numbers, you smiled in content.

The elevator slowed as the cabin came close to reaching the top floor, bringing you back to your senses. Sliding your phone back into the pocket of your slacks, you looked up once the elevator doors opened, only to drop your briefcase to the floor loudly.

Jungkook sat against the wall beside your door with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs. At the sound of your clumsiness clattering on the ground, his gaze snapped to you as he scrambled to stand up.

Anger flooded you immediately. You wanted to backhand him and rip his hair out. You wanted to scream and cry and lose your shit. However much you wanted to hurt him, though, you could not afford catching an assault charge on the man who defaced you once before.

There was a break of silence as you stood staring at him, unsure of how to handle the punch in your mood while the memories were forced to surface in your mind.

“Y/N…” Jungkook trailed, breaking the tangible barrier of tension. He took a step forward whilst obviously hesitating. “I-”

Instead of screaming at him, you went for the more sophisticated and controlled route to keep your lividity at bay whilst stopping his sentence in its tracks.

“How did you get up here?” It was a sensible question to ask. You just wanted to prevent him from deepening the conversation.

“I pulled some strings.” He murmured, looking down almost shyly, before piping up with more confidence. “But listen, I-”

“Save it.” You cut him off again, unable to control your facade much longer. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

His anxious expression turned worried- desperate. You didn’t miss the way his eyes became more expressive than you’ve ever seen them. “Please, Y/N.”

“Please what, Jungkook?”

“Please just give me a moment to speak.”

For a beat, you pondered his request. Taehyung’s words weighed heavily on your mind. We needed to talk.

Fuck talking. You have been done talking for ages.

“Wow.” You scoffed coldly, ice barriers slamming back into place over your heart. Taehyung had been able to melt them away, but Jungkook put them right back with fierce determination to completely ruin you. “You just want to take everything from me, huh?”

“Y/N, what-“ He blinked cluelessly, caught off-guard by your sarcasm.

“I gave you years to speak, Jungkook. I gave you everything.” You stepped forward, the boiling rage overtaking your body, and came to a stop in front of him with the fury of a charging bull. You wanted him to feel small and vulnerable.

“What else could I possibly give you? I have nothing left.” He took everything. The veins in your body were emptied and exhausted of every single ounce of energy to fight for someone.

You were unaware of the way Jungkook’s fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms.

You failed to notice how much he trembled under your gaze, physically struggling to protect his butterfly from your wrath.

Your vicious swings at the dainty being of hope were nothing compared to what he, himself, had done to it. Jungkook found it ironic that you gave him an aspect that he was just barely strong enough to protect yet took the darker things from inside him and destroyed them as if they were mere placeholders- as if you were his puppeteer.

You were too stressed to realize the toll it took on Jungkook to keep his act together. He needed to keep the door open long enough to be your friend. Anything to prevent losing you. Earlier, his demons swooped in and overtook him, suffocating him to silence once again, but for the first time, they ebbed away at the mere thought of you.

As he walked down the street with his stage persona flowing, the simple thought of your name empowered his butterfly to beat its wings so fiercely that it blew away all of the impending smoke and dark tentacles of smog that threatened to overtake his vision.

Once he thought of you, he thought of everything.

Your anger was justified. He understood that now. Watching you huff breath after breath following your question was somehow relieving- you still cared enough to be pissed off. Jungkook forced himself to look on the bright side of the encounter with you; he made himself see that you were still passionate about the past. You were passionately upset and he couldn’t be happier.

He had seen you with Taehyung. He saw the way you were happy again. Jungkook wanted a part of that because he was too selfish to back off and stay dormant in your life- too determined to make you silence his demons.

Even if it was just as a friend. He could deal with that.

“You’re right.” Jungkook stated.

You paused in your tracks at the concession. Anger no longer blazing- staying right where it was- you quirked an eyebrow at him. Any time the two of you fought, he would never come even close to alluding that you were right.

“You’re right and I’m sorry, Y/N.”

An apology.

Words always seemed minimal to you. Unless to communicate information, you found that words filled with feeling didn’t mean much from someone you didn’t know.

After Jungkook, anyone that told you they loved you was promptly deemed a liar. Kate worked hard to make sure you were aware of the fact that she would actually take a bullet for you because of how much she loved you. She spent moment after moment proving to you that she cared deeply even though she didn’t have to put up with you.

Your parents, despite not talking to you much, expressed their love and gratitude whenever you sent them money. You knew they were hard workers like you and didn’t have time to worry about trivial things like words. Instead of taking the easy way out by simply telling you that they loved you, they showed you.

But Jungkook, who claimed to love you in the way that a lover would- the only person to actually do so- lied.

You could never trust the words in that way again.

Still, you couldn’t help but be taken by surprise.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Y/N, you’ve been right since the beginning. I took and took and just stopped giving back. I understand that you’re angry and I want to fix it so that you don’t hate me anymore. I want to make it right.”

You were silent. You hadn’t expected him to admit his fault so easily. Jungkook changing the pace of your conversation ruined your momentum, sending you stumbling and scrambling for thoughts.

Jungkook sighed for a moment, pressing his lips into a thin line as he let his eyes drop to the floor in your silence. He wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to elaborate further, though.

“Look, I know I fucked up. Bad. I know you can’t possibly forgive me right now, but I want you to know that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done to you.”

Your automatic reaction to being emotionally pushed came back, closing you down and disguising you as a cold woman.

“What the fuck do you know? What the fuck do you know about how badly you fucked up? I don’t need your lame-ass apology, Jungkook. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Stop pretending that you do. Sure, we fucked a little and kissed a few times, but that’s all that it was.” You grit out the last few words, lying through your teeth. “Now please move. You’re blocking the door.”

Shockingly, Jungkook obeyed. He stepped aside and clasped his hands behind his back without another word, allowing you to walk to your door and open it.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

No matter how many times you repeated the words in your head, commanding yourself to abide by the mantra as if it were law, the emotions in your head managed to break through and force your head to turn back after stepping through the doorway.

Jungkook stood as still as a statue, staring at you with a blank expression that was almost eerie. You glanced down quickly, unable to maintain the eye contact, and noticed that his knuckles were clenched.

It was almost as if he was a completely different person because of the fact that his appearance was drastically different from that of BTS Jungkook. The man that stood in front of you was no rockstar. He was not an idol nor a role model that millions looked up to.

He was a scared boy. The fear that riddled his eyes was extremely difficult to miss and it made him seem almost small whilst standing in the small junction between the elevator and your penthouse.

You shut the door in his face impulsively, hoping that you wouldn’t have to see him again.

Backing away from the door slightly, you waited until you heard the elevator signal that its doors were closing before going to look through the peephole. You finally released your breath and slumped against the door when you saw that he had left.

Without his presence putting you on edge and keeping you on your toes, you could finally reflect on the conversation that just transpired.

He admitted his wrongdoings and apologized for them. He showed you his belly and became vulnerable. He admitted defeat.

Jungkook wasn’t an apologetic person in the slightest; he wasn’t a forgiving one either. In all the years that you had known him, he was headstrong and stubborn- if you looked past the part where he closed himself off and cheated, of course.

This Jungkook, the one you had just spoken to, was not the one you remember. Maybe you were right. Maybe you didn’t know him anymore.

Your phone vibrating in your pocket distracted you from pondering any further over the epiphany, prompting you to pull it out and fumble with it to get away from the confusing subject. You were thankful for the distraction.

Kim Taehyung (BTS)

I’ll be out front in 15 mins

Cursing internally, you left the idea of Jungkook behind you and rushed to change into clothes better suited for the cold weather.

It was a given that a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips when you slid thick tube socks over your ankles. You hadn’t actually worn tube socks in ages because they didn’t exactly go with your usual professional style of suits and heels.

You zipped your coat up about three-fourths of the way before turning to look at yourself in your mirror with a huff.

Suddenly, you were bombarded with a memory as it flashed before your eyes.

“You know you look good, babe.”

You giggled as Jungkook came up behind you to look at you in the reflection, setting his chin on your shoulder while he used his tongue to toy with the hoop pierced into his lip.

“Thanks, Kook. Just want to look my best is all.” You met his eyes in your bedroom mirror, smiling softly.

“Well, you look beautiful.”

You were left staring at the empty space where his face was, unsure of how to react as you stumbled back from the intrusion. Another meaningless scene came barging into your senses before you could process the first.

“Wow…” You trailed off as you looked at the angry red spot on Jungkook’s chest. A brand new tattoo, the size of your hand, raised out of his skin and shined under the luminescent light of the tattoo parlor. With the tattoo artist cleaning up his station behind the two of you, you were left to admire his beauty in his reflection.

Jungkook stood shirtless in front of the full-length mirror as he smiled brightly at the last tattoo to complete his set. Your eyes drank in the way each exhibit of inked art contrasted with his smooth, caramel expanse of skin while you stood behind him.

The new piece, which was almost large enough to touch the Chinese characters stamped onto the side of his neck and the back of his ear, was a depiction of an angel falling from the heavens. The detail in the blackening feathers attached to the angel’s back was mesmerizing, drawing all of the attention from the rest of the tattoos covering Jungkook’s chest.

“Is there any special meaning behind it?” You asked, knowing that your boyfriend had a few meaningless tattoos that were part of his ‘woke-up-and-it-was-there’ collection.

For a moment, Jungkook stayed silent as he studied the work of art in the mirror. It wasn’t until you called his name again that he answered your question while meeting your gaze in the reflection.

“Nah. It just looked really cool to me.”

You pressed your hand to your forehead and looked away from your mirror, wondering why- now, of all times- you just had to remember those small memories.

You didn’t miss him- you know you didn’t. But something within you twisted at the thought of being with him- the memory of how it felt to be his.

The disconnect between the feelings of your heart and the thoughts of your mind, ever so obvious, shifted. His apology was unexpected, to say the least, but it was also surprisingly heartfelt and pulling on your need to forgive.

Saved by the bell, your landline phone began to ring.

You rushed to the bedside table and grabbed the phone from its dock, pulling it to your ear.

“Ms. Y/L/N? It’s the front desk. Mr. Kim Taehyung is here and waiting for you.”

“Got it. Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment.” You hung up the phone and grabbed your wallet and keys before shuffling over to your desk to grab your briefcase on instinct.

“Wait,” you spoke aloud, laughing at yourself and withdrawing your reach. “I don’t need that.”

As you opened the door to your penthouse, the sound of something lightly hitting your door had you looking down.

A small, navy blue bag, the size of your palm, swung from the doorknob and hit lightly against the wood from the momentum of you opening your door. Confused, you unhooked the loop from the doorknob and looked inside the bag to find a familiar-looking box inside.

Gingerly, you pulled it out and opened it. In the way of the box’s contents was a folded piece of notebook paper with your name scrawled across the top in Jungkook’s messy handwriting.

You held your breath after reading the note and looked down at the small charm.

Since you gave me yours, I’ll give you mine. -jk

In the fabric of the satin display lay the familiar gold chain that Jungkook gifted you those few years ago, but, instead of the small J that you were so familiar with, lay your own initial.

You knew Jungkook’s way with words well enough to know that the small note connected his intentions to the chain. You were instantly pulled back to the night that he gifted the necklace to you in the first place.

“It’s beautiful. Happy one-year, babe.” You whispered onto his lips with a smile.

After you sat back into your seat, Jungkook walked to your side of the table to put the chain around your neck. “I obviously have the describe how much this necklace means so that you never take it off.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t even dream of taking it off, Kook.”

“I still need to explain. It was like a message from heaven when I saw them in the jewelry store.” He pouted, returning to his seat. “So the idea with these is that we’re wearing parts of each other. You’re wearing the part of me that belongs to you and I’m wearing the part of you that belongs to me.”

Jungkook continued as he raised his glass. “So even though you think this necklace is yours because it’s your letter, it’s actually mine.”

You cocked your head in confusion, struggling to understand the concept. “What are you talking about?”

“It sounded so much better in my head, I swear.”

You understood the idea now.

Push off the emotions. Don’t think about them.

You were hellbent on ignoring the weakness, knowing full well what path you would go down if you let them get to you.

Instead, you made your way down to the lobby with the bag gripped tightly in your mitten-clad hands, heading to the desk with determination furrowing your brow. Even as Taehyung stood from the small sofa in the lobby upon seeing you, you did not spare him a glance.

Forcefully, you thrusted the bag into the receptionists’ face, internally wincing at your rude gesture.

“Please put this in the lost and found. I have no idea where it came from.”

The receptionist did well at hiding his expression, however, you could still see a sense of somber recognition behind his eyes. You decided not to press him seeing as you want to avoid the topic of Jungkook like the plague.

“Understood, ma’am.” He took the bag from your grasp before you had the chance to rethink addressing his slip of emotion, placing it in a drawer by his knee. He looked back up and gestured to Taehyung after locking the drawer. “Mr. Kim is here for you.”

You sighed in a mild sense of accomplishment, forcing yourself to shut out the regret and sadness for giving away a formerly precious memory, before turning to face Taehyung with a small smile to mask your inner turmoil. Your smile faltered when you noticed that Taehyung mirrored the same expression on his face that the receptionist wore.

“What?” You asked, walking to him.

“I just-” He looked down for a moment, scowling, and you noticed he had placed his small barbell back into his eyebrow. “-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” The two of you had walked to the door, stopping before going out into the cold so that you could finish your conversation.

“Like I said before, it’s not my place to say or judge.”

Taehyung opened the door to an icy gust of wind before you could protest, chilling you into a mind-numbing stupor as you whispered, “Holy fucking shit.”

“Good god, it is freezing.” Taehyung mumbled, linking an arm around your body and ushering you towards his SUV across the sidewalk.

Once sat inside the warmth of the cabin, you shivered in satisfaction at the heat gracing your body.

“Please tell me we’re not going to be outside for whatever we’re doing.” You pleaded to him. The light from the city was filtered by the darkened car windows, however, you could still see Taehyung’s shoulders moving up and down when he chuckled.

“Unfortunately, we are, but fortunately, I brought some heat packs for us.”

You whined in protest, looking up to the GPS screen in front of the driver to see if you could identify where the two of you were going. Without a route plotted, you were left even more curious.

About twenty minutes of small talk and a brief roast session targeting Hoseok later, you sat in front of the ice skating rink at the Rockefeller Center.

“We’re ice skating?” You asked, suddenly in shock. You hadn’t been ice skating since-

No. Stop it. Your mind warred with itself as it suppressed the memory threatening to spill over into your eyes.

“You’re quite the detective.” Taehyung’s sentence was drenched in sarcasm, functioning as the perfect distraction, and prompted you to lightly shove him with a giggle as you exited the vehicle.

“I thought I was a captain.” You pouted against the cold, pulling your hat down on your head even further in hopes of retaining your body heat and warmth from the van.

“You are.” Taehyung laughed again. “Captain Detective.”

You only rolled your eyes at his playfulness before you turned to face the rink from the sidewalk. A person passing behind you and bumping into your back lightly had you cursing New York City’s busy and bustling population.

Seeing all of the people on the rink, you instantly remembered that you did not inform Jay of your whereabouts.

“Do we have security?” Worry riddled your brain as you turned to look at him with your eyes widening in a panic. You became hyperaware of all of the possible outcomes to Taehyung being identified in such a crowded place.

Taehyung sighed as he walked you up to the ticket booth. “We don’t. I just want to have a normal and plain but fun time with my friend- without someone glaring at me like they don’t want to be here while they breathe down my neck.”

Despite understanding his statement, you couldn’t help the automatic stress to being in public without any form of protection.

“Taehyung,” You warned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N,” He mocked your tone childishly before leveling it to his regular voice. “Relax, weirdo. We’re here to have fun and people are too busy having their own fun to notice us.”

“I doubt that.”

It wasn’t until you got your rental skates tightly secured onto your feet and began walking toward the ice that Taehyung mentioned a vital detail that he definitely should have mentioned prior to arriving at the center.

“You what?” You were baffled to say the least.

“I can’t skate.” He sheepishly brought his hand to the back of his head and adjusted his trapper hat under your scrutiny.

“Then why did we come?” You were almost yelling at that point.

“Because Brian told me that you liked ice skating!” Taehyung gripped at your fingers tightly, anxiety getting the best of him.

Fucking hell, Brian.

“Did he?” Your laugh was almost hysterical because of how wrong he was. You were becoming increasingly hesitant about giving your personal assistant a raise now.

Still, it was worth the effort. Brian was just trying to help the world’s most popular bassist when he came to him in need of information. It was a decent attempt.

“Yeah,” Taehyung huffed. “He did.”

“Well, Tae, I’ll have you know,” You moved towards the ice rink with determination. “I haven’t been ice skating in ages and I hardly like it. Hopefully, I still have muscle memory.”

“Oh god.” Taehyung groaned, tipping his head back as the feeling of imminent and utter chaos ensued. “Fucking hell, Brian.”

As soon as you stepped on the ice, you realized that you were still perfectly coordinated enough to complete the task.

Taehyung, on the other hand, clung to the walls like the world was attempting to swallow him into the ground. Dutifully, you stood next to him with a cautious hand on his back in the case that he went tumbling.

The sight was one to behold.

Kim Taehyung, hard core rockstar- the physical definition of a stereotypical ‘bad boy’- with tattoos littering his skin and a glistening eyebrow piercing that was winking at you from under his gray trapper, stood hunched over and afraid as he moved baby step-by-baby step to proceed further around the rink. You couldn’t help but giggle as the man who possessed the prowess of an elegant panther on stage adopted the likes of a stumbling newborn giraffe within the span of five minutes.

You were still concerned for him despite how funny it was. Tentatively, you reached your hand to grip his shoulder and urged him to look at you.

“Tae, are you okay? We can do something else if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay.” He wheezed in effort. “I got this.”

Making a show out of how brave he was, Taehyung stood up straight on shaky legs and began progressing forward by attempting to walk on the ice.

“I can show you how t-” Taehyung cut off your offer before you could finish it.

“I’ve been shown countless times how to skate and the best I can do is walk and maybe slide forward a little. I’m a lost cause, Y/N.” Even though he seemed upset, Taehyung couldn’t help but crack a smile at how clumsy he was.

You smiled pitifully at your clumsy friend before you stepped in front of him. “Here, hold onto my shoulders and we’ll slide forward together.”

All Taehyung could do was begrudgingly agree, hating the idea of having to lean on you for support but wanting to remain close to you for the majority of the night. Once he placed his hands tightly on your shoulders, you moved.

At first, you skated slowly so that Taehyung could adjust to the feeling of being pulled forward. Once he got the hang of keeping his legs locked so that you could move around easier, you skated at a normal speed.

After about ten minutes of joking around and catching Taehyung’s slipping form a handful of times, your mind was left free and without defense.

You hadn’t realized how vulnerable you were because of it.

“Y/N, slow down! I can’t go that fast!”

Your breathing came to a halt at the voice that echoed in your ears.

“Here, hold my hand and we’ll skate together.”

Panicking, you rushed your mind to shut it out. No. Stop.

Unknowingly, the chaos in your mind and the desperate need to get away from the memories had you gradually increasing your own speed to subconsciously escape your thoughts.

Taehyung’s nervous laugh and call of your name in warning fell on deaf ears while you furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

“See? It’s easy. Just step and lean. Step- and lean.” His hand clutched yours as if he was trying to squeeze all of the blood from your fingers but you only squeezed back in reassurance.

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Taehyung’s skate crashing into the back of yours served as the perfect distraction, yet it only lasted for a split second as the two fo you went tumbling to the ice in a hauntingly familiar manner.

In the process of falling, Taehyung had managed to wrap his arms around your waist and twist his body so that he could take most of the impact from the ice. Landing on top of him with an ‘oof’ reminded you of the last time you went ice skating.

Even with your face mere centimeters from your friend’s, all you saw was him.

Taehyung’s small puffs of air against your lips were an indicator of how close you were to kissing him. Truly, you could kiss him if you wanted to, needing only to relax your neck and let your head fall to close the rest of the minimal gap between you. He looked up at you with wide eyes, holding onto your gaze with an unreadable expression on his face.

All you saw, however, was a small mole dotting the underside of his lips. Fuck, you wanted to kiss Taehyung and rid yourself of the nightmare, but you couldn’t shake the sensation of how wrong it felt to kiss anyone but Jungkook.

“Y/N,” Taehyung called your name cautiously and pulled you from your thoughts. Instantly, your eyes welled with tears at the realization of how fucked you were.

You yanked yourself from him with abandon, needing to get far away from the reminder that you couldn’t move on.

Kim Taehyung was mature. He was kind and respectful- everything you could ask for in a man- yet the thoughts of Jungkook and the good memories you had with him outweighed the bad, preventing you from truly letting go.

Before Taehyung could protest, you stood and left him on the ice, making for a quick exit. You wanted to go back and help him up so that he wasn’t in danger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face in this setting.

Instead, you skated off the rink and walked to the skate rental area, plopping down on the bench weakly to untie the laces. Once you did so, you set them on the counter and waited for your boots with your eyes on the ground. You didn’t want anyone to see you on the brink of crying.

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s voice was loud and attention-grabbing. You had half the mind to be concerned that he would cause people to notice him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you finally got your boots and rushed to put them on. Taehyung was finally off the ice when you slid the first boot on.

“Y/N,” He called your name again, awkwardly approaching you with the blades still on his feet. “Please, talk to me.”

You could only sniffle in response and continue to put your boots back on, a fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You’d kept them at bay thus far but Taehyung was making it extremely difficult as his comfort approached you. The welcome yet heartbreaking aura he exhumed paired with your teetering emotional stability wouldn’t fare well in such a public setting.

Without hesitation, you stood and walked away once you were done securing your shoes back on your feet. Again, you felt the urgent need to be alone.

And again, Taehyung was right behind you as he ran without putting his shoes back on.

“Y/N!” He grabbed you as he called your name more sternly, forcing you to face him. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked back down to the pavement and cursed yourself once a tear slipped out. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I-” Your breath caught in your throat as it constricted due to the beginning of a sob building in your chest. You cleared your throat and struggled to breathe your way through your response- one you had trouble communicating. “-I just can’t.”

Taehyung grimaced, looking around with concern, before he ushered your body to begin walking away from the busy area.

Once you were a good distance down the street, he grabbed both of your shoulders and forced you to face him once again. Away from the well-lit area of the ice rink, the only light that shone in the middle of the dark night was that of the street lights. With bated breath, you looked up at your friend with your mouth closed tightly so that the sob in your chest wouldn’t come barging past your lips.

The pain was nearly unbearable. It anguished you, knowing that you were stupid enough to think that you could eventually move on from Jungkook. It pained you, being aware of the fact that Taehyung had offered himself to you and you did nothing but continue to look at Jungkook.

But most of all, it hurt that you still wanted Jungkook.

If only you could reach into your chest and tear your heart out so that you couldn’t feel anymore. If only you could shut off your feelings so that it didn’t agonize you like this. If only it were that easy.

Under the light of the street lamps with Taehyung’s look of pity- the one he held as he looked at you across the club on that dreadful night those few years ago- on you, you broke.

As you began sobbing, Taehyung pulled you against his body and backed up into the darkness to give you the privacy to cry without being seen.

The pain stabbed your heart repeatedly; quick blows, shallow at first, became increasingly deep as you drowned in the memories of what once was.

Falling so passionately in love became your biggest regret. For so long, you hated the idea. You hated the fact that you still loved Jungkook notwithstanding the things he had done. You denied the fact until you started seeing the good memories again- until it was an unavoidable and objective truth.

The truth that you still loved him.

As Taehyung held you tightly in his embrace while you held your hands to your face and dug your nails into your skin, you sobbed uncontrollably at how completely and royally fucked you were.

“W-why-” You blubbered into your palms. “-why do I-I still lo-ove him?”

“Because your heart wants what it wants, Y/N. You have no control over that.”

At this point, you had to tell him how you felt- how you truly felt.

“I w-wish that it wa-anted you. I’m so sorry, T-Tae.”

“Hey, now. Don’t say that. It’s a waste of time to wish for things that you have no control over. Don’t waste a wish on something stupid like that.” Taehyung pressed his face to the top of your head, pressing his lips there to leave a small kiss. “Besides, I have someone waiting for me back home so you don’t need to worry anymore.”

Instantly, you looked up at him in shock while still hiccuping. “You do?”

“Of course.” Taehyung laughed warmly, smiling down at you. “I wasn’t gonna be stuck on you forever. One way or another, you move on.”

“It’s been years since I’ve even seen him, Tae. The fact that I still haven’t moved on despite that has to tell you something.”

“Which is why I told you that you still need to talk to him. You can’t move on or do anything about the way you feel unless you communicate it.” He pulled back to bend his body to become eye-level with you so that he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. “There’s things you don’t know.”

For a moment, you weighed his words in your mind. If they’re things that Taehyung can’t tell you because they’re ‘not his place’ to say, then you figure that the matter must be a serious one. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. It wasn’t long before you gave in.

“Yeah…” You trailed off in hesitation, suddenly regretting shutting out Jungkook. “I guess I do need to talk to him.”

“Please just… take your time and be patient with him.” Taehyung winced slightly. “He’s hot-headed but he’s a lot better than he was before. I promise you that.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Taehyung.” You scowled as you backed out of his embrace.

“You know I don’t. I would never suggest that you talk to him if he was the same as he was before.”

A few beats of silence passed before you asked the question that had been nagging at your mind since your revelation of remaining love for the lead singer of BTS.

“Do you think we still have a chance?”

Taehyung answered immediately. “That’s not my place to judge. All I know is that you guys did something sad like being broke up even though you had life.”

“Good god, Tae,” You huffed out a laugh. “Are you quoting Lil Dicky right now?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Taehyung crossed his arms and let out a small ‘hmph’ as he lightly stomped his foot onto the sidewalk. “And you can’t stop me.”

For a while, Taehyung let you catch your breath and calm down while looking up and down the street. It seemed as if he was planning something.

Before you could process what he was doing, Taehyung took you by your arm, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and began walking across the street. You looked up in the direction of your path and noticed that you were heading towards the quaint coffee shop that seemed to be the only open place at the current hour.

Your eyes hurt from crying. Your chest ached from sobbing and hiccuping. Your heart and head hurt as they came to blows with each other. You were slowly beginning to freeze as the calming of your emotions slowed your heart and cooled your body. It was so fucking cold.

You could use a coffee right about now.

~#~

Thank you for reading, reader! If you’d like to check out the rest of my work, feel free to visit my Masterlist!

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pennypalblorkposts · 3 years ago

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Hampsterdance hyperfixation?

ok ok i know me being fixated on a song about dancing hampsters is very strange but theres actually a ton of underground lore about hampsterdance thats been obscured for decades due to hampsterdance (the brand/band) tanking in popularity after its one hit wonder single in 2000

[ID: a doodle of a person with short hair, looking very excited, with a thought bubble containing the word "Hampter" over their head. end ID]

1. this is probably more well known thanks to this video and also due to me talking about it with random strangers all the time but hampsterdance had a straight-to-dvd movie called "how the hampster's saved winter" that's a piece of lost media (which isn't a new thing for this franchise) due to barely anybody ordering it off the website. the only reason we know it exists it thanks to an article from 2019 of someone interviewing the guys who own the hampsterdance brand (yes, brand!!) and web archives of the website (and the dead purchase link on it.) as well as screencaps from a now dead flash game (which i have saved thankfully pre flash dying) which includes a ferret which is just making me want to find it even more, even if it's just a shitty christmas movie

2. i'm gonna follow up on the hampsterdance movie kind of by explaining what i mean by brand. it's well known info (and if you dont know this thats ok) that the original website was made by an art student named deidre lacarte in 98 in a competition with her friend and sister to make a site with the most web traffic. well, after the hit single "hampsterdance", in around 2002ish? the trademark to it was bought by abatis inc. who still currently holds the trademark. and also they're the ones behind this fucking 3d redesign of the main 4 (i blame alvin for this one personally :/)

[ID: a set of two images. the first image contains a 2D drawing of a yellow hamster with a bowtie, a brown hamster with a cowboy hat, a grey hamster and an orange hamster. the second image contains a 3D rendered version of the four hamsters with names beside them, as well as instruments. a brown hamster with a cowboy hat named Dixie, holding a guitar, an orange hamster with goggles named Fuzzy with a pair of drums, a yellow hamster with a bowtie named Hampton with a guitar, and a grey hamster with a yin and yang symbol named Hado with an electric keyboard. she also has a flower on her ear. end ID]

like.. i love their current designs now despite how Interesting they look, but what we had already was perfect.

3. there's actually a niche community of hampsterdance fans and there has been for decades! there's an official forum that exists and that's still active (last i checked a few months ago) if you wanna make an account on it good luck getting it approved, it took my account a good year i think :(. so i guess my hampsterdance fixation isnt that strange even if it's mainly focusing on the backstory of this entire franchise vs the actual characters themselves (id probably fixate on the characters if i actually got my hands on that damn movie)

4. hampsterdance has actually made songs outside of its one hit wonder. it has a few albums also!! you can find some of the songs on youtube as well as some of the other music videos ;)

5. official merchandising of the hampsters exists, and yes, im qualifying that as lost media. this includes shirts, rubber bands, and lollipops strangely enough. also plushies of the main cast (unfortunately in the reboot style). also a mug i regret not buying when i saw it for 20 bucks on ebay </3

[ID: an image of four pairs of red lollipops, each with the face of the hampsterdance cast on them. in order: an orange hamster with goggles and some necklaces, a yellow hamster with a bowtie, a grey hamster with flowers beside her ear, and a brown hamster with a cowboy hat on her head. end ID]

6. hampton (the main hampster, the guy with the bowtie, the man who started it all) was named after deidre's hamster who had the same name. he was featured a few times on the website after it went through a few updates (aka going from literal gif hell to an actual website with things to do on it).

thank you mr hampton for inspiring millions of people by existing. and also promoting hamster care for two decades. youve done a lot for us (actual image of him below)

[ID: a small, low quality image of a real life hamster in a cage. the cage has a pink bottom. the hamster is orange with a white belly. end ID]

7. i bet you're curious why hampsterdance is spelled with a p. well, according to hampton hampster (fictional), he named himself that because unlike hamsters (without a p), he was no ordinary hamster. in actuality this was probably a misspelling of hamster that just ended up sticking, but i do think that little in universe explanation is very cute.

i could go on but this post is long enough as is. i highly recommend going on the wayback machine through all the hampsterdance urls (hampsterdance.com, hampsterdance2.com) if you're really curious about how hampsterdance (the website) has changed so much. or you could ask me 😏😏😏

#sorry if im a bit all over the place so is my interest in this damn thing #i fell down a rabbit hole in 2019 and i havent managed to find my way out sinc #e #hampsterdance #hampster dance #long post #im not good with image transcriptions but ill try and add some onto this in an edit #penny posts #ok to rb/interact #hamsters #food #sorry forgot to tag that #edit: added image descriptions rb this version if u can

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annabethy · 4 years ago

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under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 20: childhood

Character A and Character B are estranged childhood best friends,, percabeth,, this is definitely my favorite day

Percy Jackson is seven years old when he falls in love.

He doesn’t know it at the time, or for a long time after that.

When he first meets her on the swings, when she’s sitting by herself, he thinks she looks like a princess. Her curls are pretty and blonde, not a hair out of place. The first thing he really notices, though, is that she looks sad.

Looking back on it, he thinks that maybe that’s why he approached her. Percy was never the kid to step out and make friends first. But she looked like she could use it.

So as he sits next to her on the swings, he asks her, “What’s your name?”

She looks up from where her feet were kicking at the dirt, covering her pretty princess shoes in specks of black and brown. Her eyes are a striking grey – the kind that he could not possibly forget, even at the ripe age of seven. She tells him, “Annabeth,” and doesn’t say another word.

He responds with, “I’m Percy,” and follows her lead, silence settling all around them. He tries again the next day when he finds her sitting by herself on the same swings during recess. Today, she’s in a blue dress, and he tells her that it’s her favorite color.

“Really?” she asks, kicking the dirt again. “My daddy wanted me to wear the pink one.”

“I think the blue one looks better than pink,” he says.

At twelve years old, he thinks that’s when she became his best friend. That wonderfully dull day when the grey clouds rolled overhead on a chilly October day. It was the day the clouds matched her eyes too, he remembers.

It was the day he fell in love.

Percy Jackson is twelve years old when his heart first breaks.

He’s sitting in the grass outside her house, watching her cry. The tears roll down her face, and matching tears roll down his. It’s funny because they do everything together. They experience love and heartbreak and friendship and tears at once, and always together.

Percy and Annabeth, together forever and always.

Or so he thought.

But it’s only a week later that she moves out officially, and he never sees her again. They’d promised to keep in touch, but like all friendships, it always fades. She’s in California, and he’s in New York, and they’re both twelve. So young and wrongfully full of hope. But that was them too. Hopeful and bright, wishing of a future together.

At eighteen years old, he remembers their promise to find each other again. It had been an offhand comment, one that they’d seen in TV shows and movies. If they both turned twenty and weren’t married, then they’d marry each other. Percy can look back on it with a smile, because twenty was so young. So much life yet to come. But they had been ready to marry each other.

Maybe it was them being naïve, or maybe it was them being in love and looking for an excuse to stay by each other’s side.

Percy Jackson is eighteen years old when he gets his first girlfriend. Her name is Rachel, and he thinks that she’s really pretty.

(Not as pretty as Annabeth was, but he doesn’t tell her that.)

(He doesn’t need to. She already knows.)

At twenty-two years old, he now understands that he was always in love with Annabeth. It was rooted so deep inside of him that it made him who he was. There was never any getting over her because she’s what made him him. He was so young when he met her that he was still creating himself and his personality, and when she became a part of his life, she became a part of him.

There’s no one to blame for his failed relationship except himself. Somehow, Percy isn’t too upset anyways because he loved Rachel, but he never loved her the way he loved Annabeth, and he never would.

Percy Jackson is twenty-two years old when his heart aches for her.

There is a girl that looks just like him standing across the street. Or at least he thinks so. He hasn’t actually seen what she looks like because she hadn’t had a phone when she moved, and any forms of social media he’s sure she has now, she didn’t then. He’d lost contact with her entire family too.

But there’s something about her calling to him. She has those beautiful blonde ringlets down her back, not a hair out of place, and she is wearing a blue felt coat that falls to below her knees. Her shoes are white, with specks of black and brown as though she’s been kicking at the dirt, and it brings a smile to his face. Annabeth never did grow out of that habit for as long as he knew her.

Percy crosses the street, but he has no intentions of actually speaking to the stranger. He just needs to get back to his apartment, and she happens to be standing in the way of that. She turns just as he passes by, so he doesn’t get a glimpse of her face, but that’s okay. Millions of people live in New York City, and it is not possible that the one standing before him is her.

But then he is unsure if it’s his imagination when there is a faint, “Annabeth!” called from somewhere along the sidewalk, and she turns to the voice, and he turns to her.

His heart stops. She’s looking at someone else, but he can see the striking grey eyes that match the clouds overhead on this wintery December day, two days before Christmas. It has to be his imagination because she doesn’t move, but then she starts towards the voice, and he hears her name again, and it’s her.

Percy chases after her, weaving through the crowds along the street, and she is so close –

So close –

Percy’s fingers curl around her shoulder without thinking, and she jumps, whirling around, and he catches fear in her eyes that causes him to shrink back.

His voice is stuck in his throat because he is face to face with the girl he fell in love with fifteen years ago, and there is recognition in her eyes.

“Percy?”

“Yeah,” he chokes out.

Then she smiles and laughs, pulling him in for an immediate hug. “Oh my god, Percy.”

His arms wrap snugly around her, and she smells so good, and is as perfect as he remembers. He’s afraid if he opens his eyes, she’s going to disappear. “Open your eyes, silly,” she says.

He tells her truthfully, “I’m scared you’ll disappear if I do.”

She laughs again, a beautiful sound to his ears. Her hand slides into his, thumb rubbing soothingly. “I’m right here.”

So he opens his eyes, and she’s looking earnestly at him. He’s towering over her now, different from when she was taller than him at twelve years old.

“You’re somehow even prettier than I remembered,” he says before he can stop himself. His face blushes suddenly as he realizes what he just said, and he’s about to apologize before she stops him.

“I’d hope so,” she teases. “I was twelve! Braces were not a good look.” “You made them work,” he says, stepping to the side when someone tries to slide by. Everything is suddenly overwhelming, the sounds of cars rushing by and chatter all around, the honking of horns. He spots someone standing over Annabeth’s shoulder patiently. “I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Annabeth shakes her head and motions the girl closer. She’s pretty too, but she doesn’t even begin to hold a flame to Annabeth. “This is my friend Piper. We were just walking around the city for a bit before heading home. Piper, this is my best friend from when I was younger. I told you about Percy?”

Piper makes a sly face at Annabeth, to which Annabeth pointedly ignores. Piper reaches a hand forwards to shake his hand. “How could I not have heard of the famous Percy? She talks about you all the time.”

“I talk about you a healthy amount,” Annabeth corrects. “He was my best friend.”

“The way you speak of him, I would’ve thought you still were.”

Annabeth and Percy lock eyes. “Yeah, well, I guess we just fell out of touch.”

“It’s a shame,” Piper says. “You two would have been cute as husband and wife.”

The statement makes Percy’s heart flutter. “Husband and wife?”

Annabeth rolls her eyes playfully. “I told Piper about our agreement to get married at twenty. I think we may have missed the deadline, though.”

Percy laughs. “I guess we did.”

They fall into a silence, and then Piper says, “I should get going. I’ll leave the two of you to get reacquainted, maybe even married.”

“Yes, thank you, Piper,” Annabeth says.

“I’ll see you at home, love,” she says. “Be safe.”

“I will,” Annabeth answers. They both watch as Piper leaves, and then Percy’s addressing her.

“Home?” he asks. “Where exactly is that now?”

“New York, actually. I moved here for university. I wasn’t sure if you still lived here though.”

“I couldn’t move away from here,” he jokes. “I had to stay put in case you ever decided to come back so you’d know where to find me.”

“I’m not going to lie, Percy. You’re a part of the reason I decided to come back,” she says. She shifts her feet like she wants to say something but doesn’t know if she should. “There’s so much to say I don’t even know where to start.”

And Percy knows exactly what she means. “Why don’t we go back to my place? I can make us some hot chocolate and we can catch up.”

“I’d like that.”

It’s a quick five minutes spent walking before they’re back to his apartment. He opens the door and is immediately overcome with warmth, a drastic change from outside. Annabeth steps inside, kicking off her shoes slowly as she looks around.

“This is a nice place,” she says. “You live alone?”

“Yeah. I tried the roommate thing, but it just didn’t work out. My job pays well enough for it, though.”

“And what is your job?”

“Oh, uh – I work at an aquarium. Nothing too fancy yet, but I do get to play with animals a lot. I’m a marine biologist.”

“I always knew you’d be,” she teases.

“And I always knew you’d be an architect,” he says. “Did that come true?”

“It did, actually. I’ve made it pretty far pretty fast too, and whenever people ask how I did it, I tell them you. You were always the person to cheer me on when we were younger. It helped a lot more than I think you realized.”

“I’m glad.”

They both sit on the couch, close but still far enough to keep a couple of inches between them. He faces her, one leg up on the couch, and she leans into him. It feels comforting, like they’d never been split apart.

Percy suddenly remembers when they were twelve and agreed to marry each other when they reached twenty. It causes him to start laughing, and he’s sure he looks insane.

“You okay?” she asks, amused.

“I’m just remembering – we could be married by now. I mean, obviously we wouldn’t be, but we really said we’d be twenty and marry each other.”

“We really did that,” she agrees.

“I don’t know why we chose twenty,” he admits. “Why not thirty?” He snickers. “We were so young we didn’t even understand that most people aren’t married by twenty, or even done with school.”

She smiles softly. “I knew, Percy.”

“What?”

“I knew twenty was too young to be married.”

“Then why did you agree to it?”

“Because I loved you,” she says. “I thought it was obvious.”

“I loved you too.”

She gives him a look. “It was more than just loving you. I was in love with you, and I wanted a reason to marry you. Even if I was twelve.”

“I’m hurt,” he says, a hand over his heart. But his heart is beating so fast he wouldn’t be surprised if it plops right out of her chest. “You were in love with me?”

“Would you be alright if I said I still was?”

“I’d be more than alright with that,” he says, “considering I’m quite certain I’m still in love with you too.”

She smirks but doesn’t move. “Something’s changed, Percy.”

“What?”

“I can’t read you anymore. I used to be able to tell what you were feeling, but now… I can’t tell if you’re joking.”

“I’m really not,” he assures her. “It’s insane, and probably way too soon to say this after seeing you again, but I would actually drop everything and marry you if you just said yes.”

“I’m tempted to,” she says.

“My mom would be over the moon.”

Annabeth coos. “How is your mom?” “She’s doing well. She had another baby, actually. I have a little sister, Estelle. She’s four now.”

“I’m happy for her.”

“Me too.”

And they’re silent again, but her face is right in front of his, and she may not be able to read him anymore, but he can surely read her.

He wants to kiss her badly because even after ten years, his love has never disappeared. He could live another lifetime and still be head over heels for her. So he whispers, “Can I kiss you?”

And she answers, “Yes.”

It’s everything he could’ve imagined. His breath is taken away, and her lips fit his perfectly. She’s soft and warm, and she’s beautiful and perfect, and now she’s here in his arms.

He pulls away, and when he looks her in the eyes, he sees a burning passion. And he feels it in his stomach too. Because a simple kiss will not make up for lost time. And it’s been ten years, but when a love is as strong as theirs, there is no point in waiting.

It happens fast. Percy’s shirt is pulled over his head, and hers follows soon after. They quickly make their way to his bedroom, and everything happens so fast after that that he is unable to keep up. His heart pounds, brain goes numb, lips swollen with every agonizing kiss she places on him.

It’s heaven and hell, fire and rain, and Percy and Annabeth.

Percy Jackson fell in love at seven years old.

He is twenty-two years old, and that love is finally his.

#percy jackson #percabeth #annabeth chase #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #my writing

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bush-viper-cutie · 4 years ago

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Messages || Part 1

(Part 4 of The Crystal Ball)

Pairing: Snape x fem!reader

Word count: 9,099

Rating: M for Mature

Plot: Severus experiences a major bump in his relationship that he’s never experienced before. It’s easy to be confident in a working relationship when being together is a daily habit, but when the relationship turns long distance after summer is over, he just doesn’t know how to keep himself afloat.

Warnings: Sex scene :o (mainly at the end), tiny bit angsty

A/N: Hello everyone! :D This is part one of a two part arc within the crystal ball series so I hope I make sense in saying that Messages part 1 and Messages part 2 will both count as part 4 and 5 of the crystal ball XD (this one is long and part 2 might be just as long so I hope that’s ok :D) (also also this is officially the first of the 500 next part request… so 1 down, 499 to go XD) I hope everyone’s holidays went great!

Posted: 12/31/20

Masterlist

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Severus stood in front of his shelves of books, looking for new titles to introduce into the curriculum but none caught his eye. He ran his finger along the spines, dust coming off each one in a long streak and collected under his nail. They were all worn, their binding fabric once rich in texture now flush and smooth as the hard cover underneath. Their once-golden names rubbed off from excessive obsessive use from years of studies during and after his time as a Hogwarts student. His eyes followed his finger as he tried reading the titles, hoping one would spark a memory of a passage easy enough for his students to grasp.

I should introduce the Odd-Stir Method to the fifth years after winter holidays. I think Rotus explains it best – though I doubt they’d be able to get over his outdated terminology… I’d have to give them translation sheets though… Perhaps E. K Nimgo uses more appropriate language… even the densest of dunderheads should be able to understand her phrasing.

He’d reached the very last shelf and stood, clutching only two books from his collection and sighed, not entirely certain that his efforts to make brewing easier would even be appreciated. He wiped his finger on the rough fabric of his black vest and sighed, realizing he’d just created a very visible grey streak across his chest.

He heard a soft giggle and looked up, blushing at the beautiful woman leaning on the doorframe to the kitchen, watching him intently. Severus smiled and shook his hair to cover his face. He tapped the books in his hand with his finger, trying to draw her attention away from him in embarrassment. “Should I even try this year?”

She pushed herself from the doorframe and walked over to him slowly with a finger tapping her chin as if in thought. She slid her hands under his arms and pushed her face into his shoulder blade. “No – In fact, maybe take a break from teaching and stay here with me this year.” She’d been begging him for several weeks now as their summer fun was coming to an end.

He wanted so badly to say yes… But Dumbledore won’t allow it. It’s still too soon after… He sighed. He ran his hand along her arm and pulled it away, freeing himself to face her. “Help me pack these?” Her smile dropped and he almost winced. “You know I’ll just throw them in,” he whispered.

She nodded and gave a slight smile. “You’re so awful at packing, Sev.” She took the books from his hands and planted a kiss on his unready lips. Her smile widened at his look of joyous surprise and laughed. “You act like a schoolboy receiving his first ever kiss every time I do that.”

He pressed his palm to his mouth until he felt his stupid smile fade and frowned at her, removing his hand. “I do not. Besides… it’s hardly my fault.” He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her in for a proper kiss. He let his lips linger on hers and made sure to speak low, just how she liked. “I can’t control what you do to me.”

She bit her lip and pulled her chin down, looking up at him with innocent eyes that sparkled wickedly at him. Merlin help me. He slid his hands down her sides and played with the hem of her skirt, loving the invisible sparks of lust and tension popping in the air.

The flames of the candles scattered around the room flickered under the influence of their accidental magic, brought on by their subconscious need to dim the lights and set their favorite evening mood. His living room had never held any romance to it until her. It was the one room in the house whose floors were maintained perfectly clean. It was the one room where they constantly found themselves on the floor of.

A soft tapping from the kitchen pulled his eyes away from hers. Merlin, I didn’t mean literally. He sighed. “I have to answer back.”

She dropped her arms that had snaked their way around his neck and folded them over her chest. “I’ll go pack these into your trunk.”

He watched her march out of the room and listened to her footfall on the stairs, heavy with anger. The door to their room slammed and he headed into the kitchen. A large brown owl sat on the rim of the empty potted plants outside and tapped its beak to the window again.

“Silence already!” Severus swung the window open and took the letter from the owl’s beak. “Tell that man if he wishes to be enraging he’s doing a fine job. Next time he hands you a letter, wait for the next one.”

He tore the envelope open and read the fourth letter sent to him that day. ‘I forgot to remind you the lists will be sent out next week, though if you have the required textbooks ready, the sooner the better this year.’ Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and walked back into the living room, scribbled the title of the textbook his students had been using for the last three years and folded it up, not bothering with a new envelope.

He marched back to the owl and held the note out for it to take. “Try not to come back – or better yet, get lost on the way.”

It hooted and took the note, tapping the window once more for the apparent pure satisfaction of seeing Severus scowl and fluttered away. He closed the window with a tight snap and pulled the curtains closed. He headed out of the kitchen and looked around.

Where is she? It was around this time he’d normally sit down to read at his chair, only to be interrupted and asked to join her on the small couch instead so she could lean on him while she entertained herself with her own books – or on busy days, her work.

Severus crossed the room and headed into the foyer, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. He called out her name and listened. Silence.

He looked down at the long rug covering the center of the staircase. She’d found it on sale a couple of weeks ago and bought it for ‘the house’ claiming she was tired of the loud clomping of shoes on the stairs. Looking at the rug – along with the new matching towels and pillows and cushions for the couch – had made his chest feel unpleasantly tight for the first few days… Now he always felt a slight smile coming on when he noticed them. It was her way of moving in, knowing full well he was too scared to ask her to live with him in his grotty hovel of a house.

He headed up the steps and opened the door to their bedroom. She was laying on his side of the bed, face down on his pillow, with his books left out on his cluttered night stand. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs. He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly at the end of the bed for a few seconds.

This is all my fault. If I’d never… Merlin. I regret everything but you. “I’m sorry,” Severus whispered.

She pushed herself up onto her forearms and turned to him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “Oh Sev. Please don’t go… You’ll be gone for so long – ten months! I’m going to miss you so much! It’s going to be so hard not coming home to you every day… Everything’s going to be so much harder without you around.” She closed her eyes and fell back onto his pillow, shaking more violently than before. “Who’s going to make me soup after I finish ranting about how awful my boss is?”

He could barely make out her muffled attempt to lighten the mood and smirked, trying not to feel the growing hurt of seeing her so upset. Severus moved to the side of the bed, holding in tears that mirrored her pain, and kicked the open trunk away. He knelt on the bed and pushed her on to her side, holding her tight the moment she sat up for a hug.

He stroked her hair and bit his lip. “It only seems hard now.” He swallowed thickly. “Trust me, you’ll forget you even want me around.” He forced out a chuckle. “You might even forget I exist.”

Her hands clawed his back, pulling him closer. He let her pull him onto the bed, careful not to crush her with his weight, and allowed her arms to keep him in her sweet embrace. She was still crying into his neck and all he could do was kiss her head and press his hands into her back, pulling himself closer. As much as his heart broke when she cried, a small part of him warmed at the idea of being wanted so bad it hurt.

He was used to his brain turning on him, trying to convince him she didn’t actually care for him, despite checking to make sure he’d eaten when she got back from work, asking how he’d slept every morning, and every other little show of affection. It often times told him the small frown she wore was because of him, something he’d done wrong, despite her whole face brightening at the sight of him. All summer he’d felt like he was sitting on the edge of his seat, dreading the day she’d wake from her trance and leave him. It was hard to accept his luck when all his life he’d had anything but that.

And now here she was under him, crying over the pain she swears she’ll feel not seeing him every day… and he can’t help but want to cry over just being loved so openly and plainly. He felt guilty.

It won’t last. He closed his eyes and held her closer to him, attempting to focus on her rugged breaths of sorrow and not the cruel words ringing in his ears. We’ve only spent three months together, no one could ever feel this way for me in such a small amount of time… Not me… Not Snivellus… Not ever.

She’ll forget about me after the first month apart – less even. I’ll only cause her pain for a handful of weeks and then… then she’ll be perfectly fine without me. He pulled away as her sobs calmed and kissed her smooth salty lips with the same longing he knew he’d feel the whole almost ten long months without her. “Everything will seem normal in a matter of months. I promise you won’t feel this for long.”

She wiped her eyes and gently pushed him off her, curling up to his side and shook her head. “No. It’ll hurt this bad and worse.” She sniffed and draped her arm over his middle, pulling him closer. “Will you go over the plan again?”

He nodded. “We’ll write letters every day. You’ll visit me every weekend at the Three Broomsticks. And twice on as many weekends as I can.”

She lifted her head and kissed his chin. When she pulled away, she was finally smiling up to her eyes behind her glimmering tears. “Promise me?”

The way she looked at him, with love and hope and need, made him want to melt on the spot. I promise you anything. He swallowed. “Of course.”

She pulled away and she was no longer smiling, instead searching his eyes for something. “I really will miss you, Sev.”

He nodded and sat up, feeling the strange tightness in his chest again. He felt goosebumps on his arm despite feeling no chills, and his shirt seemed oddly restricting again. “I’ll make us dinner. Anything you wish.” He kissed her cheek and turned away, swinging his legs over the bed. He stood and crossed the room to the door, opened it, and left, giving her just enough time to mumble ‘something creamy’ before he closed the door with a snap.

~ * ~ * ~

Severus stood over his trunk and started unpacking his things. The chamber was quiet and cold with new shining webs decorating the corners and connecting rows upon rows of glass jars. The fireplace cracked in the corner, vaguely illuminating the cavity he called his office, filling the air with the scents of cherry firewood, thickly sweet.

I should thank her for the new wood. She’ll surely gloat about being right, though just imagining her smiling is enough to be worth it. Severus grinned to himself and took out a folded piece of parchment where he’d been keeping notes on what to send in his letters since he’d left her at Kings Cross station. He jotted down the ‘thank you for the new fire wood’ she’d snuck into his trunk to help him relax and slipped it back into his vest.

“Ah, Severus. Finally here I see,” McGonagall’s voice echoed in. She stood on the threshold with hands on her hips, looking around at the state of things. “You’re normally on the first train back – You will be dusting won’t you? I’d give you my spell, but as you so kindly pointed out last year, it’s inelegant wording might disorganize your… ‘systemized assortment of components’… or as I call it – clutter.”

Severus rolled his eyes and faced her. “I had business.”

She arched her brow. “I see. Well welcome back, and I suggest you get started with Poppy soon, unfortunately several vials went bad over the summer – something about cheap valerian and the Ministry’s fat pockets – she’s been raging about it since she arrived. Afterwards I think Pomona’s having trouble reviving her oleanders.”

Severus nodded and waited until the crisp clacking of her heels could no longer be heard before gathering what he needed and headed out to his usual pre-term duties as the school’s only Potions Master.

After a long night of replenishing the hospital’s stocks, an early morning brewing Come-’Round serum, and an annoying evening spent with Sprout and her plants, dinner rolled around and he hardly noticed the maddening levels of screaming and laughing and talking coming from the house tables full of old and new students.

“Severus,” McGonagall drew his sleepy attention to her. “Albus mentioned you expressed an interest in taking over monitoring the corridors at night.” She took a sip from her goblet.

Severus frowned. “I mentioned the need to double down on dawn and dusk hours. Not – ”

“That is a marvelous idea. I’m sure you will keep plenty of nosy students out of trouble this year.” She sipped her goblet again.

Severus blinked several times at her. “D-did you just hand over the entire position to me?”

She continued drinking as if he hadn’t spoken and turned back to her food, glancing over at him every so often to check if he was still glaring at her.

Severus grumbled to himself and turned back to his food. I miss ONE meeting and suddenly every tedious responsibility is handed off to me. Of course.

Soon the Great Hall was emptied of students as their prefects led them to their houses and Severus prepared himself for a short night’s rest. He spent three hours walking between corridors from one house entrance to the next, catching at least five students out after hours walking about the castle in the dead of night, and two in the early hours before the sun rose.

He sat back at the high table with a groan and stretched out his legs. The morning light filtered through the tessellated windows high above the tables and reflected off the maple-glazed sausages and glittering butter that melted over his toast.

A familiar wood owl soared down and landed on the top rail of his chair, hooting happily with an elegantly ribbon-wrapped note clutched tight in his foot. Severus suppressed a grin, keeping his usual scowl plastered over his face, and took the note, quickly unraveling it from its pink satin bindings.

2 September

My dearest Severus,

You have not replied to the letter I sent yesterday. How was the train ride and our first night apart in months? I missed you more than you could ever imagine. You said I’d be glad to have the bed to myself, but for the second night in a row I have missed your warmth and your embrace. I fear to even wash the sheets and erase your all too alluring scent… Although I will. When did we last wash them? A week ago? Please fake your death and come back to me.

Love,

Your already forgotten girlfriend.

‘Girlfriend’, his heart skipped as his eyes reread the word. He felt a strange forgotten ache deep in his core, of sleepless nights as a student wondering if he’d ever have someone to call his. It was within these very stone walls that he’d muttered curses under his breath at any student that pointed out the fact he was alone and would forever be alone. He’d been wrong, and it was a pain he wished he could go back and relieve from his younger self. He took out his quill, flipped the note over and smoothed it’s curves on the dark oak table.

2 September

My unforgettable girlfriend,

I’ve officially taken over monitoring the corridors at night. It seems McGonagall is trying to remedy my insomnia with hours of walking the halls like a soul-lost mummy in the deep caverns of Khufu’s temple. I caught seven just last night, and apparently my reprimands were deemed ‘unfair’ and ‘dumb’ by these pests we call students.

Severus

He paused.

Also, thank you for the logs. They were nice, but I will switch them out soon for something more menacing.

He folded the note and handed it back to her owl, who had been intently watching his quill feather jitter as he wrote. Her owl took the note in its beak and joined the dozens of other owls leaving through the windows.

Although the letter had suppressed his stress for a few minutes, it soon bubbled back up as the bells rang for the start of lessons. As he’d expected, none of the students had done an ounce of studying over the summer, resulting in the floors being covered in melted stirring rods, the high ceilings dripping with fluorescent watery syrup, and six cracked cauldrons from high-tempered concoctions.

But of course I’M the one writing to the ministry about replacing six cauldrons. If it were up to me, each one of those brats responsible would be writing apology letters begging for new cauldrons themselves. He started writing out the letter towards the Ministry’s Educational Mayhem Funds Committee explaining the need for new ones and how he would supposedly prevent the need for more. Perhaps suggesting teaching dogs instead is not a reasonable approach.

He skipped dinner and by the time it was a quarter to nine, he set out patrolling the corridor and this time checked every broom-closet twice. He slept, and by dawn was up again, pacing floors until the smell of eggs and citrus filled the passageways, wafting in from the kitchen vents.

Breakfast, he sighed. He made his way down and took his usual seat. At some point between his first and second poached egg-topped buttered crumpet the familiar aspen-feathered owl landed on his chair, delivering a newly ribboned note.

3 September

My hardworking boyfriend,

I do not envy those under your authority. I’m sure in the coming week, everyone will remember how strictly you rule the corridors and classrooms and will choose to stop breaking the rules. Perhaps slapping the desk harder while you yell will really make them quiver in their shoes. Speaking of heavy hands… will I see you at the end of this week? I miss visiting Hogsmeade and especially the butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks. This weekend will be a MUCH needed break from work and everything that reminds me of my boss’s red warty face. He’s driving me mad. Come down and hex him for me, won’t you Sev?

Yours always,

A previous pest.

Severus chuckled and replied immediately.

Do not tease, especially since the weekend is two days away – it feels like a lifetime when imprisoned within these walls. I shall see about a room at the Three Broomsticks. Regardless, Saturday for lunch. Noon exactly.

Severus

He handed the owl her note and stuffed the new ribbon in his pocket with the other. ‘Heavy hands’. He pressed his elbows to the table and his fists to his growing grin. He was sure Sprout would let him pick a few of her bluebonnets to take with him. It’d be a lovely surprise he was sure she’d more than appreciate.

He pushed away from the table and made his way out of the Great Hall towards the dungeons. His first lesson of the day was in a few hours. The first years are probably running Pomphrey dry on the Dreamless Sleep elixir. She’ll likely ask me about it this weekend… If I get started on it now –

The library doors opened and a shrill voice called out to him. “Oh! Professor Snape!” The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher came marching up to him with a determined look about her. “I was told to seek your advice – Professor if you have the time.”

Severus kept from rubbing at his temples and breathed out in what almost sounded like a groan. “In what are you seeking council?”

The new professor shook her head, her large bun bobbing from side to side, and placed her hands on her hips. “The library does not stock extra copies of the books I have assigned as required textbooks. I was told you’d had this problem when you first began teaching?”

Do not remind me. “Ah… yes. The library will not stock books outside the Ministry’s recommended reading. You could try convincing… Dumbledore,” the word rolled off his tongue distastefully. “But the Headmaster prefers leaving it up to the professors to figure out.” Severus turned to leave.

The woman laughed. “Is that your advice? Figure it out myself?”

Severus turned back and narrowed his eyes. “If the books you are seeking… are not stocked. Then they are not from the list the Ministry has provided you – as I’m sure you know, as we receive updated lists every summer. That means either your book is considered too dangerous – ”

“It’s not! I would hardly call unicorns and counter-clockwise counting clocks dangerous when – ”

“Or,” Severus interrupted, lowering his voice to a dangerous whisper. “They are too expensive. If some students cannot afford the textbooks, then it is your job to provide them or incorporate them into a learning plan.” Severus turned on his heels and started walking briskly down the dungeon stairs.

“And am I supposed to make a learning plan after term has already begun!”

He kept walking without turning back. “That IS the situation you find yourself in. Yes,” he yelled back. How many more of these incompetent teachers will Hogwarts endure before Dumbledore allows me the position? Talk about maddening ‘bosses’.

Severus hadn’t even sat in his chair for more than a few minutes before his fireplace burned with flames alit with minor Floo powder.

“Severus.” McGonagall’s voice drawled from within the flames.

Severus pinched his eyes closed. “Minerva,” he hissed.

“As much as I enjoy watching new teachers flop around from task to task, it is not me that applies for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position every summer. Perhaps showing some initiative would propel Albus to take you more seriously next year.”

He could hear the amused smile in her voice. He seethed in his chair for a minute. “Last time I ‘showed initiative’ I was given the whole bloody task. I am NOT filling my schedule with her poor attempt at education.” He thought for a moment. “Unless.”

McGonagall sighed. “What do you want, Severus.”

“I will be gone this weekend. Saturday and Sunday… And sometimes other weekends as well.”

The bright green flames flickered over the cherry firewood and a log fell, sparking tinier flames for a few seconds before the larger ones engulfed them.

“Alright.”

The fire cracked and then died down to the normal short flames that he liked. Well that solves that.

~ * ~ * ~

Severus stared at the densely grown purple wildflowers that filled the smallest planter in the greenhouse. The cool blues and purples of the bonnet-shaped petals made his mouth turn up in a smile, mirroring the very same one he knew he’d receive if he showed up to his date with these in hand. He clipped diagonal cuts into the stems and wrapped them in the two ribbons he’d kept from her letters. The pure pink of the ribbons shined brightly among the mellow blues of the flowers. Perfect.

Severus carefully tucked the bouquet in his inner cloak pocket and headed out towards the gate. Not feet from the door of the greenhouse he heard Madam Pomphrey calling his name from the castle doors.

“Ah! Severus! Glad to catch you before you left.” She waited for Severus to approach her. “The first years have just about drained my supplies of Dreamless Sleep. Minerva suggested having some flown in from that new shop across from Zonkos but I refuse to give the students anything I wouldn’t just make myself.”

Then why have ME make it? Severus sighed. “Of course… I’ll have that for you Monday.”

“No sooner?”

Severus refrained from frowning. “No sooner.” He turned – noticing Pomphrey’s eyes glancing down at the purple pollen smudged on his black cloak – and headed towards the gate.

~ * ~ * ~

Hogsmeade was busier now than it was when Hogsmeade trips started for students. He guessed it was because there was only one month during the year where there were no loud and screaming children bumping into people out on the streets or taking up unnecessary room in shops. If he’d realized just how pact the day would be, he’d have suggested meeting in the room he had gotten instead of out on the street.

He sat on one of the benches near the Three Broomsticks and took out his small journal, hunching over to see his small writing. On Mondays and Wednesdays I can help plan defense lessons in the mornings, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays will have to be in the evenings, so those days will have to be plans for the following day which means this Monday or Wednesday I’ll have to help plan two lessons… Sunday I can get back early… I’ll only be able to brew a fourth of the stock… I can catch up on it next Sunday if my visits with her are just Saturdays… at least for only a week or two. He quickly scribbled down his plans.

Two hands pulled his hair up out of his eyes, and he found himself staring at a pair of shiny heels. He trailed his eyes up her legs and looked up, squinting at her smiling face already diving down for a kiss on his forehead.

“Sorry I’m late.”

Severus quickly stood and took out the flowers he’d picked just for her.

She smiled so bright her eyes glowed with delight. “Sev!” She took them and jumped onto him, clinging onto his neck.

He felt his face go red and cleared his throat, acutely aware of just a few stares pointed their way. She didn’t let go of him, however. She held on tight and all he wanted was to breath her in so desperately. To pick her up and twirl her and never let go, but there were so many people. He forced a simple hug and pulled her away. The room! It should be available already.

“What’s that little smile on your face for?” She arched a brow, hugging her flowers tight.

Severus bent down and pushed her silky hair behind her ear, gently tracing his lips on the soft ridges of her ear. “Room? Now?” Am I a barbarian? I haven’t seen her all week and all I can muster are two single-syllable words? He pulled back and watched as her teeth bit down her plump lower lip.

“Take me away, Severus,” she whispered.

His brain had turned into dense fog and all he could think to do was nod and take her hand, leading her inside. He slinked past groups of people thunderously enjoying their early morning drinks and up the stairs, gripping her hand tight, making sure not to lose out on a single second of feeling her skin on his.

He pulled out his key and slipped it in the lock, turning it until it clicked, and opened the door. The room had a single bed and closed curtains, which was really all they would need tonight. What if she was expecting something better? He couldn’t afford any of the nicer, larger rooms available.

He turned and watched her saunter in, paying no attention to the room and only to him as he closed the door with his heel. Her intense sultry eyes eyed him up and down as she bit her lip, taking him in like a cold sweet treat left out for her to have on a hot summer’s day. His face went red again, and he could remember the feel of her hands all over him, begging him to give himself to her to do with at her whim.

Did she lick her lips? He swallowed.

“My Severus,” she whispered.

Mind blank, he lunged for her lips and they both fell onto the bed. His hands roamed over the fabric of her dress, outlining her figure with a yearning need. She moaned and squirmed under him, making his temperature rise with desire. In one swift move, she had him pinned down, her knees straddling his hips. Her lips teased light bruises onto his neck and a deep moan escaped his mouth.

Before the new hour had even struck, they were already under the covers in an embrace deeper than ever before. Physically, the positions were the same, needy and wild; emotionally, his soul couldn’t get enough. Her scent, her touch, every minute sound that escaped her lips, breathy or fierce, sent a fire down his body. He’d missed her so much.

“Severus!” she moaned in his ear, holding him down with a shaky grip. Her body tensed with pleasure and finally relaxed onto him, limp with euphoria.

He shivered and closed his eyes, keeping the same steady rhythm that had undone her. His hands gripped her hips and pushed her down as his heels dug into the mattress and his own hips pressed up. She was huffing in his ear, moaning, whimpering. And with the same sudden flowing energy, he followed in her pleasure. He wrapped his arms around her as the waves washed over him and hugged her tight as their breaths caught and their rhythmic movements ceased, fully satisfied.

He smiled and chuckled, laughing louder as her giggles bubbled out as well. “The room was a good idea.”

“I see you can form sentences once again.” She laughed and pushed herself up to kiss his face.

He blushed, wishing she hadn’t noticed how utterly speechless her presence had left him in only a single week of not seeing her. “Yes – well – ” Merlin, a sentence! Finish a sentence. He cleared his throat. “Lunch? Er – Would you like to send for some lunch to have in here?”

She bit her lip, poorly hiding a wide grin, and nodded. “You can go order for me. I’ll be right back.” She took her clothes and headed into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar like she always did before a shower.

He dressed quickly, headed down to the bar and ordered two meals and a few drinks. It only took a few minutes to receive his order despite the crowd of wizards and witches sitting at tables talking with friends. He flicked his wand and the meal led the way back up the stairs and into the room.

The rest of the day was spent eating and laughing on the bed, talking about mainly her work or things she’d added to his house – or ‘the’ house as they had been ‘sneakily’ calling it. He liked it, maybe this summer it could be ‘our’ house. After several drinks and hours spent in each other’s arms, they got ready for bed.

Severus wrapped his arms around her, squeezing them between the mattress and her back, and rested his head on her chest. He closed his eyes as she played with his long hair, curled it in her fingers, and smoothed it out with her palm. Within seconds sleep seeped into every corner of his mind.

~ * ~ * ~

Although breaking the news that he had to leave early that Sunday had soured their last hours together, Severus felt far more relaxed as the week went on. His memories of her warmth and softness were renewed and he could put more focus into his work, knowing what the ends of the weeks would more or less look like now.

Of course he had told her that the following weekend date would have to be canceled if only to ensure that the rest would remain free. He still had potions to restock in the hospital wing that took several days to brew single batches. And that lesson plan, he grumbled to himself.

The full week that followed had felt like one long trek up a mountain, only to reach the peak and see more mountain to climb. The weekend was spent slumped over one of his brewing tables with an elbow dug into the wood and his head glued to his palm. He stirred and stirred for hours, waited for the potion to turn purple, and then stirred for longer.

He ran his hands through his hair, trying to replicate the feel of her fingers brushing through his greasy tendrils, and sighed, wiping his hand on his trousers. The room was quiet except for the slow pop of bubbles and he knew if she’d been in the room he’d have had to demand she leave, unable to brew under the tight squeeze of her hugs. He lifted his head off his palm and wrapped his arm around his middle, hugging himself close as his other hand stirred.

Once the tall jars were filled and stoppered, he walked them down to Madam Pomphrey’s office and headed to dinner. His eyes narrowed on a group of students suspiciously whispering to each other. Hufflepuffs. It was no coincidence dessert tonight was the Hufflepuff favorite, honey-stuffed bear biscuits. Their house door was only a corridor away from the kitchens and there was always left overs of this particular dessert for some reason. Sprout denied having anything to do with it, Of course.

He waited in his office watching the clock and smiled as the hands marked the start of After Hours. He stood and smoothed out his teaching robe, preparing for an eventful night of patrolling. He started with the other houses first, going from top floors to the bottom, and allowing the Hufflepuffs plenty of time.

He finished his dungeon rounds and headed up to the main corridor. He crossed it with a light stroll, and turned the few corners into the Hufflepuff and kitchen passageway. The kitchen door was left ajar, and a creamy warm light seeped into the shadows. Severus stalked through the dark and pushed the heavy kitchen door wider, observing the chaos in secret.

Six Hufflepuffs stuffed the cookies into sheer golden bags and tied them around their hips by the stings like valued coin. Two were reaching for the jars of deep golden syrup placed high above cabinets while the others overloaded the biscuits with slices of grilled pear chunks.

He stepped into the kitchen and held his hands behind his back, glaring at the back of their heads. He could see their shoulders tense one by one until they all stopped their movements and turned around ever so slowly.

Severus licked his lips and lowered his voice to a growl. “Detentions. Scrubbing cauldrons and boiling devilpods.” Severus flicked his wand and every last treat disappeared from their sticky hands. He marched them to their house door and slammed it hard behind them.

He was half way to his office when it suddenly dawned on him. Six detentions? Where in Merlin’s shiny bald head would he fit six hours of detention supervision in his schedule? His hands fisted at his sides and an angry growl roared out of him into the darkness.

“Shhh!” A portrait hushed from up the nearest stairs.

Potions. Severus stalked down the dungeons stairs. Lesson Plans. He threw his office door open. Detentions! He slammed the door shut and glared as a jar threatened to topple off his shelf. “When does it end!” he snarled.

It was two weeks into the first term and his patience had already run dry. If he wasn’t going to see her this weekend either, then there was no reason to hold out on punishments for misbehaving brats. There was no more scraping the bottom of the barrel for mercy for any student or coworker.

His words dripped with venom, his actions were sharp, and what little restraint he had shriveled and died. Everywhere he went the whispers followed, ‘Careful, Professor Snape is coming this way.’

~ * ~ * ~

20 September

Of course. Next weekend it is then. I miss you, Sev.

Yours Always

Severus sighed and pinched his eyes closed. The guilt in his gut had clawed its way into his veins and was now circulating his whole body, making him cold with worry. This was the second weekend he canceled on her and after expecting anger, she’d delivered a short but loving message showing how much patience she had for him.

20 September

I’m sorry. I miss you too. I’m sorry, truly.

Yours, Severus

He handed his reply to one of the school owls in the owlry and watched it fly off into the greying sky. The wind was chilly as it brushed passed his nose and hair, sending goosebumps down his arms. He stuck his hands in his pockets and squeezed his eyes shut as more guilt shivered up his core. She hadn’t yet mentioned the fact he wasn’t replying every day to her letters anymore, and that made him all the more scared. Was that her way of telling him she had expected he wouldn’t keep up with his promise?

Merlin, I’m an awful boyfriend. He forced a trembling laugh. Couples were supposed to hug and kiss and lay in each other’s arms and talk often weren’t they? He didn’t know anymore. It had seemed so easy over the summer. He’d felt so proud when she called him her boyfriend, especially when he knew he was doing everything right. Bringing her flowers, helping her with work, complimenting her every morning and night before and after work. He’d felt he earned the title.

But I don’t deserve it now. He barely talked to her, had broken all his promises, kept canceling on her, I keep disappointing her. He began walking down the spiraling stairs down the owlry, hardly taking in his surroundings, mind haunted by his past. Words floated in his head, voices that made him tense with rage. ‘Stop lookin’ Snivellus. You’ll never find a girl who’ll ever want you.’ The walk from the owlry to the dungeons was a tormented blur.

His office glowed green as the fireplace flames waved on an old burnt log, an inch high and ready to fizzle out. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and picked up one of the cherry wood cuts. He wrapped his arms around it and carried it into his room, placed it in the fireplace, and shot red sparks from his wand into it.

It caught fire instantly and soon a thick sweet scent filled the air. He wrapped his cloak around himself, still feeling the cold chill from the outside, and fell onto his mattress, pressing his face into his pillow. He welcomed the summer memories, allowing them to fill every crevice of his mind.

He missed the way she looked at him. Missed the way his heart skipped every time she did. He closed his eyes tighter and started to sob into his pillow. I miss her hugs. I miss her warmth. He couldn’t even explain to himself how much he missed just rambling to her about small unimportant things and blushing when she actually paid attention to him. It was hard to experience the fullness of their relationship over letters and two-day visits alone. And even harder now that he couldn’t even keep up with that.

He wiped his face and huffed roughly, turning onto his back. He felt exhausted and depleted and it didn’t take any effort at all to close his eyes. He gave one final sigh and – Fuck. I have essays to grade.

~ * ~ * ~

28 September

I’ll see you soon! Same room, order dinner, bring it up, and close your eyes! No peeking and no barging in! I’ve got a little surprise…

Severus smiled and put the letter in his pocket. He picked up the bronze key that she’d slipped into the envelope and ran his finger over the smooth edges. She’d picked the same room he had gotten them. Either she was as broke as he, Or that room actually meant something to her now. He leaned back in his office chair and crossed his arms, holding the key close to his heart.

There was a knock at the door and he quickly slipped the key in his pocket and sat forward. “Enter.”

McGonagall pushed the door open. She stepped in and sighed happily, looking around at his dusted shelves and turned, quickly erasing her look of satisfaction. “Well, Severus. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I must. Your requests to hold the meetings for week days next month have been denied. There are too many teachers and everyone is busy most class days.”

Severus gave her no response and stared at his hands as they began to tremble. He squeezed them into fists and pressed them to his knees.

She looked him over from across the room and frowned. “However, like always, Hogsmeade visits will be kept free… The meetings will be held on the weekends between Hogsmeade visits, and there are only two…” She stood for a few seconds, still looking at him, as if having expected some note of frustration from him, or any sort of disgruntled response. “You’ll only be missing two weekends…”

“I’ll have missed four in total by next month,” he whispered.

McGonagall crossed the room and waved her hand over the empty space in front of his desk, summoning one of her office chairs to sit in. “Might I ask what it is you’re missing out on?”

Severus leaned away and kept his eyes down, his hair falling over his face like protective curtains. McGonagall and him had never talked about anything other than lessons, Hogwarts, or the Ministry. She hardly knew anything about him and he had never asked a thing about her.

“Does it have something to do with whoever you gave those flowers to?” She smiled when he scowled at her. “Poppy might have mentioned…”

Severus looked away again, deciding to fix his energy on glaring at his burnt fire log and the bit of charred entrails he’d accidently dropped last time he prepared a potion in here.

McGonagall stood up and waved her hand over her chair. “I’ll see to it that after October, you get the weekends free, as you requested.” She looked around at his unswept floor and tisked. “Let me know if you need that spell I mentioned.” She fixed her emerald green hat and left his office.

Severus stared at the door and nodded. He had no doubt she’d keep her word. Some bad news… but mainly good? Maybe I won’t entirely ruin tonight with this.

~ * ~ * ~

The Three Broomsticks was just as crowded as before, except the wizards all looked like they’d stopped bothering to take any sort of sobering tonics. Severus ordered their dinner, sparing no expense. Cheesy onion rings, three types of dips, a lettuce salad, fruit salad, battered fish with onion gravy and mash, toad in the hole, two drinks, and garlic chips to share. It was a feast of everything she loved and anything she could be in the mood for tonight and anything they wouldn’t eat he was sure she’d be glad to take back with her.

He waved his wand and followed the trays up the stairs, hissing at rowdy wizards that almost bumped into the food as he went, and stood outside the door. He closed his eyes and knocked. He heard it open and a surprised gasp.

“Are we dining with the Queen?”

Severus’ lips pulled up into a coy grin. “I’m dining with a queen.”

She giggled and pulled him in by his cloak and shut the door behind him. She slid her arms around him from behind and pressed her chin into his shoulder, holding him close. Her breath fanned over the ridges of his ear as she spoke low and quiet. “Then you are my king.”

Severus bit his lips and opened his eyes. There were a few candles hovering around the room and red sparkling petals on the floor. He could feel himself shaking with anticipation and before he could tempt himself, he moved forward and placed the trays of food on the table by the closed curtains.

“Turn around, Sev.”

He let out a shaky breath. Whatever the surprise. I don’t deserve this. He swallowed and spun on his heel slowly, dragging his sight along the floor and stopped at her silver heels. His eyes trailed up her legs, her curves, her glowing face, and flowing hair. She wore silver lace that sparkled with her eyes and a sheer flowing green night gown with feathers at the cuffs and hem of the wide trail.

A heat started burning at his core, and his face flushed red with color. She was wearing his house colors again and an immediate rush of greed flowed through his veins. Since he was young it had been instilled in him what those colors meant. Silver and green were a Slytherin’s pride, a Slytherin’s territory, it meant it was Slytherin owned.

He trailed his gaze all over her body. “Mine,” he growled.

She bit her lip and slowly let the sheer gown drop and pool at her feet. He crossed to her and let his hands roam over her soft skin and plump curves, squeezing and gripping with need and want. She pressed herself closer, putting pressure on his hardened member and looked up at him. He met her eyes and whimpered; her eyes sparkled with a wildness that sent shivers down his spine.

“I need you,” he huffed, his voice low. He reached down and squeezed her curves, pressing her closer into him, feeling the pressure on him mount and the tense heat between them rise.

“I need you too, my wonderful boyfriend,” she whispered.

His breath caught in his throat. ‘Wonderful boyfriend.’ He looked at the deep red petals on the bed and pulled away. He squeezed his hands together, trying to stop the shaking but all it did was make it spread down his whole body.

She frowned with concern. “Severus?”

His breath came out in huffs and he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling hot stinging tears run down his icy cheeks, cold with dread. I have to tell her now. I can’t wait ‘till after. I can’t… I can’t –

“Severus?” she repeated more urgently and pressed her palms to his jaw. She ran her thumbs over his cheeks and wiped away the river of tears. “Tell me,” she whispered.

He sniffed and sat on the edge of the bed, bending his head low enough for his hair to fall forward, shielding him from the world. “I’m not a good boyfriend,” he sobbed. “I haven’t been responding to your letters… I’ve been canceling our dates… And – I have to cancel two more. I can only see you during Hogsmeade visits next month and – ”

She sat next to him on the bed and pulled him into her, rubbing her hand up and down his back gently. “I know you’re busy, Sev. That doesn’t make you a bad boyfriend. Your job as a professor keeps you in the castle… and that’s ok…”

“It’s not ok…” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed his nose into the crook of her neck. “You were crying all summer and I promised you – ”

“I was just scared, Sev. I’m so sorry. I was so upset and I missed you so much already that I made you promise me something you couldn’t keep, just to make myself feel better…”

He nuzzled closer and ran his hand down her arm.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Sev. I should have asked you to send me notes and messages only when you had time… I shouldn’t have put you in a position to cancel dates we’d planned before the school year even started… You’re everything I want. I promise… Dates on Hogsmeade visits sound wonderful.”

He sobbed once more, taking in her words. He didn’t feel she had any hate or loathing, only understanding and care for him. He wasn’t used to this. I don’t deserve her. And yet here she was, giving herself to him, accepting him, caring for him, even after he’d broken his promise and disappointed her countless times. He let his nose trail up her neck and pressed his lips to her warm skin. She tilted her head in response, exposing more of her neck for him and all he could think to do was kiss her tender skin harder.

She giggled and pushed him away with a wink. She moved herself up the bed and laid back against the pillows, moving her finger to motion him over. He followed her, kicking off his shoes and kissed her lips, exploring her mouth with his tongue. He crouched over her, cornering her, and moaned when her legs wrapped around his waist. Her hands ran up and down his thighs as his own hands tore at the delicate lace she wore, unwrapping her like a gift.

He leaned down and began marking her with needy kisses, leaving red marks all over her chest and replacing the ones that disappeared with newer ones. She held him close, encouraging more as her hands played with his long hair. He let his tongue slide out and licked over sensitive areas with hunger. With every moan she gave he grew harder, finally needing to undo the buttons of his constricting trousers.

Her hands found him, and released him from his pants. He groaned and pressed himself against her while her fingers got to work on the buttons of his jacket, vest, and shirt. He slid himself between her lips only, rocking himself, groaning as their bodies began to grind with eagerness.

He tore his mouth away from hers and shrugged off his clothes quickly, sliding off his trousers and pants and threw everything out of his way, unable to keep from her any longer. He closed his eyes and moaned as he slid in slowly, enjoying himself fully. He looked down and pulled back out just as slow and made sure he was fully slicked and glistening before pushing back in all the way and cuddling into her open arms.

“I love you Sev,” she moaned.

He moved his hips slow as he held her, savoring every sensation. He was warm and secure in her arms, like he often felt when they cuddled in bed after long days. He hugged her close and closed his eyes, moaning into her neck with every push he gave. He felt close to her, confident in their shared affection for each other and he realized there was never anything to fear. He moaned and trembled in her embrace as he built up their pleasure slow and steady, knowing soon the romantic mood would dissolve into pure lust and need. He needed to show her how much he loved her with every pleasurable push he gave.

She’s getting wetter, he couldn’t help but notice. Nor could he help the sudden throb he gave at that thought. I need her. He pushed his hips harder and whimpered at her moan. Her hands tangled in his hair and pulled, sending a jolt of electricity down his spine. The slow give and take of his movements turned into hard pounds sending more vivid waves of pleasure throughout his body and hers.

Severus pressed into her, holding her tighter, pounding faster, making sure every wave was immediately replaced by the next. He groaned and held her locked in place as every ripple of pleasure was followed by his name moaned in his ear. He breathed out shakily as her legs wrapped around his waist squeezed tighter and her back arched. Her nails raked across his back as he pounded harder, faster, until her breath caught and her muscles stiffened.

He throbbed as she tightened around him and pushed harder as she relaxed under his weight, letting him press his body back into her inviting curves that cushioned him so perfectly. His breathing was rugged, gasping, trying hard to hold out longer, feeling the pleasure begin to boil over. He dug his face into her neck as the final tidal wave crashed over him and the perfect rhythm he had going broke with every throb he gave deep inside her.

“You’re made for me,” he gasped, shuddering as the wave washed over every nerve in his body. He relaxed completely and her arms held him tighter as she rubbed slow circles on his back.

She pushed his chin up with her finger and kissed his nose. “We’re made for each other. Soulmates.” She whispered.

The message from fate couldn’t be any clearer as they caught their breathes and breathed each other in. They had thoroughly enjoyed not only each other’s bodies, but their hearts and souls as well in this blissful evening.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Masterlist

(Part 4 of The Crystal Ball)

—–

@wow-life-love4

@x-avantgarde-x

@dandyrua

----

General taglist:

@setsuna-meiou31

@severuslovebot

@bionic-otp

—–

Thank you to those who requested a fourth part and for all the lovely comments on part three and messages in my ask box (which I will answer in the coming days :D )!

#severus snape #pro snape #severus #snape #severus snape x reader #severus snape x you #severus x reader #severus x you #snape x reader #snape x you #snape fanfic #snape one shot #snape x fem!reader #severus snape one shot #snape fanfiction #one shot #fanfic #fan fiction #snapedom

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kyotakumrau · 4 years ago

Text

A thread with the 1st slot report from azifxxx, Zepp Tokyo with Kyo and Shinya

F: Hello everyone at Zepp Tokyo! I'm DIR's manager Fujieda.

T: I'm manager Takabayashi.

F: today in Tokyo it's the last day (...) now I'd like to invite two band members to start the talk event! Give them applause!

Shinya arrives, then Kyo.

Kyo wore a black beret and big glasses, blackish grey jacket, some yellow badge on the left side? and grey denim. Shinya (Yamo-chan) wore all black, double jacket? it looked very soft. When entering the stage Kyo did 'Fujifuji pose' to F...

F: today Kyo and Shinya came to the event! How are you doing, the two of you?

S: I'm always fine. 24h a day. Just got bit foolish in Sendai due to snow...

K: yeah... I'm also good...

F: for both of you it's your second time, going straight to the point what's the most impactful/memorable thing in 2020 for you?

S: not COVID?

F: from the band's point of view it is.

S: it didn't feel like being in a band. There were no concerts at all.

F: for you, Kyo? (pretending to eat)

K: PS5.

S: I see.

K: I couldn't get it. That's all I can think about.

S: I want it too, but not that much... can you play Dead by Daylight on PS5? having ps4 edition?

K: you can.

S: then I want it. I also applied for it, but as I wasn't contacted I don't think I won.

F: there's nothing besides PS5?

K: the fan who said in the message they're getting it next day, they are probably playing right now.. I get angry again when I think about it. And not just a bit....(F: what would you do if after you got PS5?) Eh? I have to say it each time？💢 (makes dissatisfied sound and turns away, for a while stays silent)

F passes them the merch items.

S&K: ... (silently checking the items)

When prompted to say something

S: mini water bottle.. is for when you go out for a bit...

K: is that a pig?

S: it's a bear

But it has 3 fingers? The hoofs?

S: a bear isn't like that?

K: but only 3 fingers?!

K: you draw 3 or 4 fingers for a bear! A horse gets 2! is the claw here (between the fingers?)? the claws come out here (pointing back of the hand)?

S: there are no fingers there (in the back of the hand)

K: and it is listening standing in front of the speaker? Its ears will get bad! Listening to such loud sound in front of the speaker! you will go nuts!

F: so Kyo, you were praising the choker a lot in Osaka.

K: ... (looks at the choker) ...(starts to tie the choker)...(puts the choker in front of F)

F: it can be tied up? Is that a good point? Ah, you mean that it can be displayed like this? It's a very popular item so everyone please get one!

Today there are only two tables, on the right (kamite) sits Shinya with Takabayashi, on the left (shimote) Fujieda with Kyo

F: any no-no topics for the questions? (S says nothing) I hope it’ going to be interesting... what kind of outfit are you wearing today?

S: I’m wearing black... the hood is...(hesitates) like Penyu

K: (smiling😊)

S: I realized today that it’s like Penyu. Not because Kyo came today as well.

K: suddenly getting closer, feels bad

F: Kyo... today you’re also wearing a total outfit idea?

K: you think there’s a theme?

F: a bit... like in an older coffee shop.... cafe... like sitting in a coffee shop...

K: it’s monochrome checkers!

F who got told it's checkers went 'i see~'

K: what, so today's theme is let's have a smoke or let's go to a cafe?

The usual atmosphere... like Kyo who always corners F until he's lost what to say

Ta chooses a question: 'what's the memorable small (v-kei) venue for the band members?'

S: Area or Cyber recently got closed, right? I really don't remember... didn't we only play at Rock-may-kan? I think no small venues [we played at] are left in Kansai? only Cowboy or Muse Hall.

K: I guess only Rock-may-kan.

Ta: how about for Shibere Bajiru?

K: with going straight to Shibire (like paying too much attention?), is that a shoulder pad. No? I wanted to see~

F: Cyber, Area is a very sad news... K, you don't have any [venues]?

K: not really...

Ta: 'what's the book you've recently read or a movie you've seen?'

S: ehm... nothing much... I also don't really read manga. But I've seen Demon Slayer. I got into it after watching anime.

K: heh, about Demon Slayer, I ordered the comics to be delivered, but only volumes 4~8 came. Am I supposed to start from vol 4? Wouldn't it be horrible? don't wanna start there

K: there's this thing I have, only get into it after it stops being so popular. I also didn't watch yesterday.

F: what kind of books do you read?

K: I read various things ... but I'm really excited about the new story from the Innocent.

Ta: 'what's your kanji of the year?'

S: 心・kokoro from 心夜・Shinya

Ta: isn't that the same every year?

K: for me... nothing really.

Ta: what was it this year (officially)?

S: 密・mitsu・crowd/carefulness, right?

K: (still trying to think) ...nothing really.

F: 'if you were to play on a different position in a band?'

S: by elimination only the guitar is left.

K: not the vocals? You're going for the guitar??

S: I'm not going for the vocals...

K: but you sing in karaoke?

S: I can't sing...

K: there's emotional singing! You're often angry!

S: I haven't gotten angry in 10+ years

K: but you sing the chorus!

S: but there's only short phrase with the chorus...

K: but you're doing lotsa of choruses

S: well... I'm practicing...but vocals are the most impossible for me...

'If you done something else than vocals?'

K: Takumi's position is good, watching the band members from the side, if it's something else than vocals then from the side is good.

S: but you like bass? That's the only idea I have for you.

K: that's only when song writing though!?

S: but you've been playing everywhere, right?

K: where everywhere? I haven't!

S: you have that time... (=sukekiyo)

Ta: aren't we going fast today? 'is there any country you'd like to visit?'

S: if possible I don't want to go...

K: but you're always going somewhere alone. To play board games etc

S: it only happened because I was already going.

Ta: Kyo doesn't want to go like "I'm!Not!Going!"

K: I'm playing a bit online games (Fortnite), but I'm told I suck at it. When you suck at something it's usually better to quit, I'm told so, many times, why is this guy going that way or is he going to the enemy's site on purpose? I'm told things like that from 6:30 in the morning sometimes.

K: if I (my heart) get broken by that how should I continue living?

S: I'm being told 'how are you living?'. I'm using the pig character but it feels like I'm living like a pig. I can block out the talk, but I'd rather hear those terrible opinions.

K: but it's hard

S: it is really hard.

K: when I played with Fujieda it was going well! He told me, get down or make your nose bigger

S: it also went well when we played, don't go there, let's go there and so on.

K: but the fights take about 20 mins in DbD, right? I'm dead in Fortnite in about 10 seconds

Ta: 'what do you like about F?'

S: he's always full of energy and almost never gets sad

K: his nose? Doesn't it get bigger as you look at it?

F: is that a praise?

K: it's easy to breathe and the mask stays on. Hands down it's your nose.

F: 'what song would you like to listen to very loudly?'

S: I'm not good with loud sounds... I prefer to listen quietly.

F: what do you listen to nowadays?

S: our new song(s)

K: I also don't want to listen (loudly), not really...

F: how about a song to listen quietly?

K: nothing special

F: Fujifuji!x

K: (ignoring him) (removes invisible dust from his shoulder)

Ta: 'what would you ask Santa for?'

S: it would be PS5?

K: Me? After all of that, I don't need it anymore, don't come. How does he get inside? There is no chimney. Is he picking a lock? Is Santa like a cockroach? Pretending to be dead when they're not... but maybe Santa is fine with all of that.

K: in the past, when I was in elementary school I was happy when Santa came, but then at some point he stopped coming. Wasn't that a crime (Santa's visits)? and parents also don't know how he comes in, isn't that scary? And from that time he doest come. I don't want him to come anymore.

'What song do you want to play when you can do concerts again?'

S: And Zero. I saod that in Sendai as well, but if it's not mode of Arche we probably won't...

Kyo: I don't really have one..

F: Do you want to play new songs?

K: I haven't listen to it (them). Isn't it how it is that you listen to them even when you weren't planning to? you dot feel like listening so much to the song you made yourself, no?

S: I also haven't listened to the new song(s) much.

Ta: Fujieda is listening to new songs a lot, in a car.

K: isn't that a bit narcissistic?

F: you don't want to perform new songs?

S: I already did while filming the music videos... doesn't that count?

'what time you go to bed and wake up?'

S: I go to bed at 6 and wake up at 1pm. It's my cycle.

K: I go to sleep at 1 and wake up around half nine. Should be around then? So there's someone who wants to know information like this?

F: they want to imagine (their lives)

K: and for what? Even if they know the time they don't know what we do

K: what time you wake up and then what time do you make coffee, make a toast, I don't understand why asking that, what's the point?

F: Shinya, is there something you'd like to know about Kyo?

S: I want to know everything.

K: I hate it that this person is called a doctor.

F: when the band has just started you two have met as first, right? What was your impression then?

S: I thought he's a really good person.

K: ...Oh?

F: And did you hit it off/became friends?

K: he didn't speak like this then. He spoke one or two things a day. He had long black hair and earrings.

S: You've bleached that black hair for me.

K: and, he said 'thank you' but... he said his kanji of the year is 心・heart, but he's the one without one. For over 20 years all band members are saying that he's like a robot or humanoid. When you go to his house he will reply with 'what is it?' with the chain on the door.

S: this is because when a certain member came some things happened...

K: But when I came over I was nice! I want to visit! Remodel stuff! (with enthusiasm)

S: remodeling... (like the certain member) there are issues like that and that's why you're banned...

'is it weird if your mother comes to the concerts?'

K: isn't it okay?

S: and brings dad...

K: I'd love to see mother headbanging. The deep one when you start from waist!

F: do your parents come to the shows?

S: mine often come.

F: your parents as well, Kyo?

K: sometimes.

F: is it something you welcome?

K: yeah.

And then F asked when they came last time but probably T said nlt to ask something like that

About the avatar Music Clip for the 12/31 stream.

S: the video looks like PS2 game..

K: like that from Virtua Fighter.

The last comments

Shinya: Thank you for today. I think we won't be able to meet for a while, but there will be the nye stream and also a knot calendars, I hope you will spend the next year using them. Let's meet again.

Kyo: We couldn't meet at all this year, but after this long time seeing everyone's faces I calm down. I think it's a good thing. Everyone knows through social media what others are doing, but it is important to meet in person. We will be looking into concert plans, hope you stay tuned and thank you.

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #shinya #the world you live in #zepp tokyo

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago

Text

//next chapter. bokuto koutarou//

Request: Ok ok. Single parent!Bokuto and you're his new girlfriend...he's never really told you about the triplets yet because you might get scared until one day he finally decided to introduce you to them because he think you're mama material to his baby owlies 🥺

Warnings: none :) just a lot of pure pure fluff

Word Count: 2.2K

Notes: i was in desperate need of some domestic papa bokuto .-. Also peep me using the kouddi kids that elle and i dreamed up

He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but his leg kept bouncing. Your fingers combing through the back of his hair wasn’t even enough to bring his nerves down. But, this was big. It had been something that Bokuto had been anticipating since he realized just how much he wanted to see your smile every time he woke up. He had fallen head over heels a lot harder than he should have for some girl that he hit with a shopping cart on a random Tuesday afternoon. But, who was he to ignore the heavy pounding in his chest when you had grabbed his outstretched hand to let him pull you to your feet? The fire that had warmed his ears was too hot to just shake off. He hadn’t felt like that in a long time and there was no telling when this feeling would come back.

It had been a hassle, really. He was always busy with volleyball games or practice when you were free and on the rare chance that he was available, it never failed that you were stuck at work. But, the struggles that the two of you faced and climbed over together are the reason he finally decided to take this next big step. It was almost four months into his relationship with you that he spilled the secret that he had been keeping from you this entire time.

“I have kids. Three of them, actually. I know that I should’ve told you sooner, but I was afraid that you wouldn’t be interested anymore. But, they mean a lot to me, so I couldn’t just keep them a secret from you, you know? I completely get if you don’t want to see me again after tonight. I mean, this probably wasn’t what you were expecting to hear on a F-”

He had been a ball of nerves, similar to how he was behaving now. Bokuto’s hands were flying each and every way, his eyes trained everywhere but your face. If only he had seen the loving expression in your eyes sooner, his anxieties about this being your deal breaker would’ve melted away in a heartbeat, but rather, your lips had pressed gently against his, silencing his worries as your fingers shifted slowly from the back of his neck, up into his hair, that comforting touch letting your boyfriend sink even further under your spell.

But unlike back then, a kiss wasn’t going to ease him. Telling you about his kids was one thing, but having you actually meet them was an entirely separate ordeal. It wasn’t that he believed that you wouldn’t love his kids wholeheartedly and he was certain that the triplets had heard enough stories about you that they would have no problem adapting to you as a figure in their lives. Oh no, those were all quite far from his concerns. Having one rambunctious five year old would’ve made this whole thing so much easier. One kid was easy to control and keep an eye on. But, three young children who each had the never-ending energy of their father was bound to make you take a step back and rethink every decision that you had made up to this point.

Bokuto Koutarou had been quiet for most of the drive from your house to his own, every now and then reaching over to place a hand on your knee to give it a slight squeeze of reassurance, for you or him, it was hard to say. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can turn around and I can take you home. If you’re not ready, then-”

You catch yourself laughing a little as you lean over the console of his car to place a small peck to his cheek. “I want to meet them, Kou. They’re your kids and they mean a lot to you. I really love you and I want to be able to be in their lives too. If they want me to be, of course.”

For the first time since he picked you up, he nearly seemed like his usual self. He let out a hearty laugh and gave you that bright smile that had you melting every time you saw it. “Are you kidding? They’ve been talking about this day non-stop since I told them that you wanted to meet them. Madori, especially. It’s been a while since she had another girl around, you know? She’s been stuck with me and the boys ever since their mom left. I try my best, but painting papa’s nails is more of a joke than her playing salon. So, don’t be surprised if she latches onto the second she sees you.” He sighed a little, the sheepish smile settling on his lips.

“But, the boys are polar opposites! Fukurou, he’s the shy one. I don’t know where he got it, but he’ll probably hide from you for a little while. Don’t take it personally. I swear, he does it with everyone he meets, but I’d give him an hour before he’s trying to sit in your lap every chance he gets. He’s pretty clingy, but I guess I can’t really blame him. But, Koujirou is going to be asking you a hundred questions before you can even step in the door. He talks just as much as I do.”

Your boyfriend laughs gently. There was always a certain look on his face whenever he started talking about the triplets. He just looked so far away, like he was lost in a day dream, but the smile on his face would have you believe that he never wanted to return to reality. But, maybe that’s what being a single father did. It brought him closer than he could have ever imagined that he would be to his kids. Sure, trying to juggle three little kids and a volleyball career wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, but no one said it would be. If you had told him in high school that his life would be forever changed by three little owls before he was thirty, Bokuto probably wouldn’t have believed you. But, his three babies had joined him for the ride and he couldn’t be happier to have them by his side. They were wild and the house hadn’t seen a moment of peace since they were born, but they were his own and the four of them had become their own perfect little family, surviving the best they could.

If Bokuto played his cards right and if this day went as smoothly as he hoped, his family of four would have the opportunity to grow into one of five, a new mom to step in and be that second parental figure that had been absent in the triplets’ lives for so long now. He’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about asking that one important question. But, with the relationship just barely reaching the ten month mark, it still seemed too soon to put a ring on your finger. Still, he couldn’t help but run his thumb over the back of your ring finger every time he held your hand, imagining how it would feel to draw the pad of his thumb over a small diamond that united the two of you together instead of your smooth skin. Making you an official member of his family would be the perfect addition to his already incredible life.

The engine cuts and he pulls his car keys from the ignition, taking a brief moment to relax in the silence with you. It would take roughly 20 steps to get to the front door and in 20 steps his entire relationship with you would change. Bokuto felt your hand snake away from his hair to rub soothing circles across his back. “Are you ready?” He asks, honey eyes catching the light of the afternoon causing the colors to appear an even more beautiful shade than they already were. His eyes searched your face for any ounce of reservation that could cause this whole thing to go awry, but no matter how deeply he searched, you only stared back at him, features brimming with confidence.

“Thank you, Kou,” you say, watching his brows knit together in a bemused expression, head tilting cutely to the side. “For letting me be a part of their lives. You never had to let us get to this point, but I’m happy that we did.”

“So, I am. Honestly, Y/N. I couldn’t be happier that you actually wanted to meet them. They’ve never had anyone besides me who was actively trying to be in their lives, so I should really be thanking you for giving us a chance, shouldn’t I?”

“Shall we?” Your hand reaches for the handle of the door, but stopping before you can touch it, waiting for him to come along on this next chapter.

He nods his head, a shaky breath passing from his lips. “Let’s go.” He counted each step in his head, watching as your feet moved in sync with his. The jingle of his keys as they found their place in the lock and the short click as the bolt slid out of its place.

“Papa!”

Bokuto didn’t even have a chance to step past the threshold before three little flurries rushed out the door and into his arms. They stared up at him with wide golden eyes, clinging onto his clothes as they welcomed their father home. He laughed, reaching down to ruffle the grey hair that donned their heads. “Listen, I’ll let you climb on me all you want, but let me go talk to ‘Kaashi first, okay? He probably wants to head home after putting up with you monsters all day.” He bent down, quickly tickling his fingers over each one of their sides, bursts of happy giggles filling the air.

He was just about to finally walk inside when Madori’s small hand tugged the bottom of his t-shirt to make him squat down to her level so she could whisper something in his ear. You could see her making not-so-sneaky glances over at you and the smile that took over Bokuto’s face as he waved his kids over to him. “Guys, I have someone very special that I want you to meet. This is the girl that papa was telling you about, remember? The one that I told you was really important to me? Her name is Y/N and she’s going to be hanging out with us tonight, is that cool?” Three heads do exaggerated nods in affirmation, letting their father turn them around to face you as he stood. “Y/N, this is Madori, Fukurou, and Koujirou,” he states, patting each of the kids on the head as he stated their name.

You get down on their level and as if on cue, Fukurou’s hands make a tight fist around Bokuto’s pants, ducking behind the strong build of his father. “I know it’s a little scary meeting someone new, but I want to get to know you guys so we can be friends, okay? My name is Y/N. Your papa has told me all about you three.”

“Are you going to be our new momma?” Koujirou asks plainly.

“Well, not right now. I’m still getting to know you and I can’t be your momma if I don’t know anything about you.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I bet you wouldn’t like that very much, would you? Some random person that you never met walks into your house and tells you that they’re your new momma, that’d be pretty weird.”

“Do you want to be our momma?”

“If you want me to, I would really like to be your mom someday, but I’m sure your papa wants to make sure that you three are okay with something like that before that happens.”

“Hey, miss?” Madori asks, her hand tugs gently on the sleeve of your shirt. “Do you want to play hair with me? I’ll let you be the hair person and you can do my hair if you want. I have lots of clippies and things.”

“I’d really like that, Madori. Do you want to go get everything set up while I put my stuff down?”

The little girl nods, skipping back into the house, disappearing down a hall to set up her very own salon, but this time she’d be able to do more than just paint her daddy’s nails hot pink and shove a few brightly colored clips in his hair.

Bokuto couldn’t tear his eyes away. Even if he tried, he just kept staring fondly at you as you interacted with the three most important people in his life. That wistful smile overtook his face all over again, but now, his reality was better than any dream he’d ever had. He had everything he could have ever wanted. His dream career, three wonderful kids (even if their favorite pastime was keeping him up at all hours of the night), and the perfect woman to complete his picture perfect future.

Now, he was just missing one thing:

An “I do.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #bokuto #bokuto fluff #bokuto koutarou #haikyuu imagines #koutarou #bokuto x reader #x reader #fluff #imagine #single parent!bokuto #hq #haikyuu!! x reader #bokuto imagines #haikyuu fluff

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buckupbuttercup · 3 years ago

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Wow guys! Touch prompts was amazing. Thank you so much to everyone who sent in a prompt. That was a much needed writing (and serotonin) boost. I officially wrote over 12K words in 8 days (edited and posted in ten!) which is a lot for me. Lately I’ve been struggling to write so this really lit a fire under me. And I had so much fun doing it! Once Big Bang is over (and I go through the rest of the prompts in my inbox, I promise you guys I see them!) I will definitely do something like this again.

Touch Prompt Master List

A Gentle Touch (T; 596 words; hurt/comfort, TW for implied domestic violence) @fleurdebeton requested (2) running fingers through hair and (20) bandaging/stitching up an injury

Everything looks worse in the harsh, bright lights of the bathroom and this is no exception. The cut slicing through Buck’s eyebrow is still weeping blood, a trail of rust stained into his skin from the corner of his eye down across his temple and along his jaw. Already the red, irritated skin is darkening with the promise of a bruise that will no doubt crawl up the side of his forehead by the morning.

The Cadence of Beating Hearts (T; 758 words; Buddie emotional hurt/comfort, angst) @fleurdebeton requested (9) listening to the other’s heartbeat & (36) lifting the other one up

The house is quiet as the first light of morning filters in through the curtains. Just the soft hum of the ceiling fan spinning above the bed and the quiet shuffle of sheets as the body next to him shifts. It’s in moments like this, where the world is standing still, that Buck can give in. His worn out heart can unclench in his chest and he can finally breathe, knowing that they’re all safely tucked away in this bubble. Even if it’s only for a little while.

The Girl on the Ledge (T; 994 words; emotional hurt/comfort, TW for suicide) Anonymous requested (8) shielding the other one with their body

It happens so fast. One second she’s there and the next second she’s … gone. Just gone.

When they arrive on scene, she is already out over the ledge, barefoot and emotionless as she stands on the steel crossbeam of the bridge. The salty sea breeze whips her blonde hair up into a tangle, white sundress billowing around her knees. Her eyes though, bloodshot and haunted, paint the picture of desperation that will never leave their minds.

Kisses Interrupted (T; 1199 words; Buddie; fluff, slice of life, two tired dads) Anonymous requested (44) sitting in the other's lap

He scoots around Eddie to place the leftovers in the fridge and pulls out two beers. It might be a school night for Chris, but neither of them have shift tomorrow. He doubts they’ll stay up much longer than an episode of True Crime and a beer, but it’s worth a shot. They haven’t spent any time together in … weeks it feels like. And as lame as it sounds, he wants nothing more than to snuggle on the couch, wrapped up in Eddie’s arms. Or …

Dinner Plans (T; 1140 words; Buddie; domestic fluff, Eddie cooks!) Anonymous requested (27) pulling the other towards them

Buck eyes Eddie, and the disaster he’s making in his kitchen, with no small amount of suspicion. It’s not that he doesn’t trust the man, because he does. Every day on shift he puts his life in his partner’s hands when they run into burning buildings or scale down a cliff with nothing but a rope keeping him from plummeting to the rocks below. He trusts Eddie with his life and, more recently, with his heart. He just doesn’t trust the man with his stove.

More Than A Jeep (G; 1281 words; Buddie; mild hurt/comfort, car accidents) Anonymous requested (1) touching foreheads, (2) running fingers through hair, (3) hiding face in neck, and (21) kissing the other’s brow

A gunmetal grey Jeep sits in the middle of the intersection surrounded by skid marks. The back is smashed in from a pick-up truck rear ending it, but the worst of the damage is on the driver’s side. It’s crumbled in from a second impact, frame of the Jeep bowing inward, part of the roof and door cutaway. Just seeing the damage makes Eddie’s stomach twist into knots. Officer Williams’s eyes go wide in understanding, fingers releasing their grip. Eddie only spares a moment to nod a thanks in his direction before he’s sprinting away.

Shout It From The Rooftops (G; 661 words; Buddie; fluff, idiots in love, relationship reveal) @221bsunsettowers requested (14) putting an arm around the other’s waist & (44) sitting on the other’s lap

It’s not that he’s ashamed, because he’s most definitely not. Eddie loves Buck, that is a sure fact. Loves the man with every fibre of his being. And if he were a ‘shout it from the rooftops’ kind of guy, he would scale the highest mountain just so everyone would know.

Eddie Diaz, Terrible Patient (T; 1248 words; Buddie; sick fic, mild hurt/comfort) Anonymous requested (17) holding the other’s chin up & (45) feeling their temperature

Eddie is a pretty awful patient.

There is only a small window of time, twenty minutes to be exact, where he’s left unsupervised from the time Carla leaves the house with Chris in the morning until when Buck gets home from shift. Twenty minutes in the early morning in which most sick people would just stay curled up in bed. Not Eddie. No, instead Buck finds him hunched over in the kitchen wheezing through congested lungs as he tries to empty the dishwasher. Hence, terrible patient.

They Left A Scar (G; 771 words; Buddie; emotional hurt/comfort) Anonymous requested (17) holding the other’s chin up

Buck’s past lives in him like a knot of scar tissue, harmless and unnoticeable most of the time. Talking with his parents, though, is like poking and prodding at it until it strikes a nerve. Then they just seem to press all their weight against the tender flesh until Buck is crumbling under the pressure, body rocked with phantom pains that echo for days after.

Miles From Okay (G; 1120 words; Buddie; angst; hurt/comfort) @stellarm requested (28) feeling for each other in the dark

It takes a monumental amount of effort, but Buck’s able to move his arm, the one not pinned under his body and raging in agony. He slides it slowly across the floor in front of him as far as he can reach, fingers scrambling in the darkness in hopes of finding his missing partner.

“Eddie,” he moans to the shadows.

Scrapes and Bruises (T; 1387 words; Buddie; mild hurt/comfort) Anonymous requested 20) bandaging/stitching up an injury & (22) falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

“Any headache?”

“Other than the one you’re giving me?” Buck quips back.

Eddie cuts him a stern glare to which Buck just groans.

“No headache. No nausea. Never lost consciousness,” Buck tells him, monotone. “I’m painfully aware of every embarrassing second, thanks so much.”

Code Word: Penguin (G; 1458 words; Buddie; fluff, boys in love, marriage proposal) @buddiextarlos requested (2) running fingers through hair & (38) stroking their leg

And he knew, on a lazy Sunday morning with the early rays of dawn streaming in through the bedroom window, just the two of them tangled beneath the sheets in a quiet house, that he loved Buck. He had opened his eyes to see Buck’s face smushed into his pillow, blonde curls sticking up in all directions, lips parted as he snored away, and felt the world shift into focus once again. This is what he wanted forever.

Thank you all so much! Happy reading!

#911 fanfic #911 fic #touch prompts #buddie

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seokiloquy · 3 years ago

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Word Gets Around - Inarizaki

AU: Gang / Organized Crime

Requested (Hopefully you’ll like it, dear requester)

Tags/Warning: GN! Reader, a little cliche...I’m running out of ideas for gang aus sjdfk, not much plot...just random times with some of the inarizaki boys, I hope you get a kick from it though (it’s a bit different than how I usually write...at least in my opinion)

Word Count: 5.2k +

The most unexpected thing to happen to you was something that you should have expected, which was kind of sad, to be honest.

You tended to stay away from your family’s business: running one of the most powerful gangs in Miyagi prefecture, Shiratorizawa. You made that decision very early on in your life, knowing where the money for your food, house, and clothes came from made you want to vomit.

Your father hadn’t liked your decision but didn’t actively protest it either. However, whenever he tried to talk you into it, you would walk away and then hear him mumble, “They’ll change their mind eventually.”

You always resisted the urge to say, “I doubt it.” But even you wouldn’t provoke him like that. Not directly at least.

Since the pressure to take over the business had started at a young age, younger you thought the only way to combat your predestined fate was to be inherently bad at all of the skills that your father had deemed “worthy”.

He would give you a gun and you would accidentally shoot him in the foot. If he gave you reports and paperwork, you would spill your coffee or tea on them or accidentally place them in the shredder. If he gave you a group of people to manage a job—which you knew would be illegal—you would give them the day off or not show up at all.

Your father would lecture you and yell at you, but you learned to find joy from the look on his face when it turned blue and red from all the yelling. He tried to con you into it further, only bringing you into meetings and making you sit in his office for hours on end to convince you otherwise. It didn’t work. Hearing your father’s plans and account numbers was the most boring and dull thing on the planet.

You were great at being terrible and your father thought that you were terrible. After a while, he stopped trying.

You would spend most of your spare time doing schoolwork or helping your mom with whatever she needed to do that day.

As you helped your mom prepare dinner for that night, one of your father’s lackeys pulled you aside. You frowned. You didn’t recognize him, which was strange because you knew almost everyone who was a part of Shiratorizawa.

“Your father requested to see you,” he said. His face was pinched into an annoyed look. You doubted that he joined Shirtorizawa to be a messenger between parent and child.

“Okay,” you said. “Do you know what it's about?”

He glanced at you for a brief moment and then looked away quickly. He shook his head and then walked away.

Well, he definitely knows something, you thought. You called back to your mom and told her where you were going.

Though you’ve lived here your entire life, your house still amazed you. It was bigger than any house on the block, the floors were white and grey marble, all of the doors were taller and wider than they need to be, and there were more pieces of art littered around than a museum. You didn’t know how they were all acquired, but something in you never asked.

You knocked once on the door to your father’s office and let yourself in.

Your father sat behind his desk like he always would, back straight and arms folded and balanced on the edge of the desk, but there was something different.

A group of people sat around him. An older-looking man sat back in the chair that was across your father’s desk. You could see the edges of his glasses poke out, but he otherwise didn’t look at you. You had, however, caught the attention of the two boys that were standing on either side of the man.

They couldn’t have been much older than you. The taller of the two had dark brown hair, parted directly down the middle with little strings at the front that stood up. He looked at you rather indifferently, giving you a glance over, narrowing his eyes slightly, and then turning back to your father as if he took a mental picture of you for him to dissect later.

The other one had a head of grey hair with black tips on the ends. He looked at you softly, but, still, after a moment turned his attention back to your father.

Dread filled your stomach. You mentally ticked off all of the things your father could have called you up here for. He wasn’t the type of person to yell at you for being a disappointment in front of an audience. Unless he decided to switch things up a bit.

“Am I interrupting? I can come back,” you said, steeling yourself. You clenched your jaw tightly.

“No,” your father said. “Take a seat, (Y/N).”

You walked through the silence and sat in the chair that was opposite to your father and beside the unknown man and boys.

You looked between the two sets of people. “No.”

Your father raised his brow. “Excuse me.”

You shrugged. “Whatever is going here, I disagree, so no to what you’re going to ask me.”

The boy with the brown hair snorted, earning him a jab in the side from the older man sitting in the chair beside you.

Your father sighed. “You don’t really have a choice.”

“I don’t?” you said, questioning the words as they left your mouth.

“You don’t,” he repeated sternly. His voice was low and rough. You recognized his tone as your queue to stop talking. You learned the hard way that if you pushed past that point, it would end badly.

You looked away. “Then why am I here?”

“I can answer that,” the man said. He adjusted his glasses and turned to you. “Your father made a deal with us and lost. So, you will be working for us until his debt is paid off.”

You blinked. “Excuse me?” You looked pointedly towards your father. “Is that true? You traded your own child? So you could what? Avoid whatever they threaten you with? You’re pathetic.”

Your father glared at you, his fists tightening into balls on his desk. “Do not speak to me that way. And you will go with them.”

“No, I won’t,” you said, “and I’m pretty sure that this is illegal.”

“All that we do is illegal, (Y/N).”

“All that you do is illegal,” you spat back.

Your father bolted up from behind his desk and walked over to your side of the table. He excused himself, curtly, to his guests, then grabbed your arm roughly and pulled you outside of his office.

He closed the door and turned to you. “Go along with it.”

“What is your problem,” you said, ignoring the pain in your arm from where his grip held on. “Even though you do shady things all of the time, I thought you’d at least draw the line at giving your kid to someone, which is definitely illegal and out of some wacky-ass fanfiction.”

“Calm down,” your father said. “This is all a part of the plan.”

The plan? You thought. He has officially lost it. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“You’re going to go with them,” he said again, “and you’re going to gather intel about them and report back. You’ll be at the heart of Inarizaki. You’ll know everything that they do, plan, and you can come back and tell me everything that they do and plan. You’ll redeem yourself and then be ready to take over.”

You scoffed. “The only thing that I will be doing is getting axe-murdered or worse.”

He ignored you. “You’ll come back after a year and it’ll be like nothing happened. They aren’t going to harm you either. It’s a part of the deal that we made, they just wanted to have someone do grunt work for them and they wanted you because you’re my child.”

Maybe you should axe murder him. When have people in his line of work ever kept promises they made? You’ve seen him make and break more promises than you could keep track of.

“What deal did you make?” You already knew you were fighting a losing battle. “What about mom? You’re insane if you think she’ll forgive you for this.”

“It’s nothing bad,” he said. Lie, you thought. “I made a bad bet—”

“And I’m paying the price.”

“You’re just going to live with them for a bit and your mother is going to think that you’re going abroad. Listen—”

You stopped listening. You couldn’t believe it. You shook in rage and hatred for the person standing in front of you. You always knew that he did awful things to a lot of people, but you never expected that you would make it onto that list.

At least if you were murdered in the middle of the night wherever these Inarizaki people were taking you, you’d be far away from him.

“Fine,” you said. “Let’s lead me to my death.”

“We aren’t going to kill you,” the man in the glasses—Kurosu, you reminded yourself, the leader of Inarizaki—said as he pulled out of your house’s driveway.

You got some time to pack up your things and got to hug and say goodbye to your mom before leaving. Your father had offered you a smile and a knowing look, but you barely cast him a second glance. It probably never occurred to him that you could spill all of Shiratorizawa’s secrets without blinking.

Yes, you did your best to stay away from all of the technical and logistics of Shirstorizawa’s operations, but that was the sole reason that your father had been flimsy and unaware of all of the stuff he said to the members of his gang while you were in the room.

You looked at the rearview mirror, catching the eyes of Kurosu. “And I totally believe you.”

The boy sitting beside you, the one with the dark hair, the one who snorted at your previous comment, laughed.

“Suna,” said Kurosu.

“Yes?” he said.

“Would you like to add something?”

Suna turned to you. “We don’t axe murder people.”

You glared at him. “And I totally believe you too.”

Suna fixed his gaze out the window again. “Kita? Much longer until we’re back home?”

The grey-haired boy shrugged. “10 minutes. Maybe 20 if there’s any more traffic.”

Kita, who was sitting in the passenger seat, turned around and looked at you. His eyes drifted to your arm and then back up to your eyes. “Do you even know what you’ll be doing?”

“Planning my funeral?”

Kurosu sighed and made a left turn. “You will be doing what you did for your father.”

Your eyebrows drew together. “What do you think I did for my father?”

“You were trained to take over Shiratorizawa were you not? Paperwork, running jobs, fieldwork. Sound familiar?”

You caught eyes with the grey hair boy again. You almost felt bad for them. Has your father really made this deal? He told you that you’d be doing grunt work, so it looks like they weren’t the only ones being lied to.

“Unless paperwork includes shredding files; running jobs means getting groceries; and fieldwork means taking the bus to school, then my father really oversold my skills.”

“What do you mean?” Kita asked.

Something rude to say sat at the tip of your tongue. You paused. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t know that they made a deal with a lair. But how intelligent could their organization be if they wanted the child of someone else’s gang to help them? How intelligent was your father for sending you over with them?

“I never wanted any part in Shiratorizawa,” you said. “So, I refused to learn everything that came with the job. I never did any of the things you listed and never wanted any part in it.”

As Kurosu pulled up to a red light, he turned to look at you. You felt all three pairs of eyes on you. You tugged at the sleeves of your sweater and looked out the window.

“Congrats,” you said dully, “you’ve hired the most skilless person for the job.”

It wasn’t as if you were expecting a grand entrance with a red and gold carpet, but it did shock you when absolutely no one was standing at the entrance of the Inarizaki house. You could tell that the house was full of people too. There were shoes scattered along the entrance and you could hear quick footsteps and backtracks from the floor above you. At your house, there were always people patrolling and walking through the halls.

They were completely unguarded.

You made a note of that. Even though you were going to tell your father that they were heavily guarded and armed, you never knew when the information you took in would be of use. The unguarded doors meant that they were trying to keep people out, but they weren’t trying to keep you in.

“Excuse me,” Kurosu muttered. He made the first left and disappeared around it. You hoped that he was going to yell at your father. Maybe he would send you back in the process.

Suna had left quietly. You hadn’t noticed he was gone until you turned around and only saw Kita. His expression was unreadable.

So far, you had only met two of the members of Inarizaki and their leader, and you couldn’t tell if they liked you or even accepted your presence in their home.

“Do I get a room?” you asked.

He didn’t answer, only tipping his head to the side slightly.

“Or am I sleeping in a barn or something?”

You took a step further into the building. From the outside, you couldn’t make out the size of the building. One thing that you could discern was that it was definitely bigger than your house. This was a place that was meant to hold a lot of people.

A grand staircase stood at the centre of the main floor—the floor that you were on—and led to a second landing which branched off into opposite directions.

“The second floor is where all of the rooms are,” Kita said. He walked up beside you and pointed to the left, the hallway that Kurosu had disappeared down. “That is where Kurosu’s quarters and office are. It’s not off-limits, but no one really goes there unless they need something or it’s an emergency”—he gestured to the right— “the kitchen and training room are over there. There are smaller hallways that lead elsewhere, but I’m not sure that you’ll be staying here for that long.”

“What makes you say that?”

Kita took a step forward and then turned to face you. “I’m not sure what the deal was exactly. I overheard that picking you, specifically, was just to tick off your father. Kurosu thought that you’d be helpful in something, but since you said that you don’t have any skills for what we could use you for, he might send you back.”

You ignored the fact that you were being spoken of as if you were talked up to be a prized cattle, only for the person who brought you to realize that you couldn’t make milk. Now, you were being sent to the slaughterhouse.

“What do you think?” you asked.

“About what?”

“About this situation,” you said. “Would you have taken someone away from their family as a power move? Made them do something to settle a score?”

Kita paused. And you waited. You didn’t know how long he was going to think for his answer, but you wanted to know and it’s not like you had anything else to do.

“I would like to think that I wouldn’t. I’m sorry that this happened to you, but it’s not something that anyone else but Kurosu and your father had control over. I’m sure you’ll find a way to settle the score.”

You swallowed. Oh, he had no idea what was coming to your father.

“Does your arm hurt?” he asked calmly.

You blinked. “My arm?”

He pointed at your arm that your father had grabbed. Without a word, he carefully held your wrist and pushed up your sleeve. You winced when the bunched up cloth rolled over the spot where your father’s grip was the strongest. The faintest marks of a bruise were starting to form.

Kita dropped your arm and started walking to the right of the staircase. “Stay there.”

What was that? you thought. After a moment, you were sure that he had abandoned you. You only took a couple of steps forwards when he rounded the corner. In his hand was a blue gel pack.

He handed it to you. “Put it on your arm,” he said.

“Thank you.”

Kita nodded and then started up the stairs. “I’ll show you to your room.”

You kept your eyes busy. There was still no security of any kind, no bars on the windows, or cameras everywhere.

He stopped in front of a door. “Can I ask you something?”

The coolness of the gel pack made you shiver. “If I say no, are you still going to ask?”

“Probably.”

You sighed. “Go ahead then.”

“What did your father tell you when he pulled you aside?”

You squeezed the pack between your fingers. Kita’s eyes were marked on you, unwavering. You knew he wasn’t going to leave it alone until you answered.

There was no point in lying, is there? These were the people who you’d be staying with for who knows how long—they said a year, but that could always change and it wasn’t something that you were in control of.

“He told me to spy for him,” you told him.

“Are you going to?”

“I haven’t decided.”

Kita clicked his tongue and then opened the door. “I think you have.”

He took a step back. As you passed him, he leaned down to whisper, “I pity your father.”

Sleep did not find you. At all. Maybe it was because the room Kita showed you was so unfamiliar—and surprisingly well-furnished—that it just made you miss your own room. But your unrested mind brought you back to the fear of being axed murdered.

Your stomach growled. You frowned. Right, you were in the middle of preparing dinner before you were suddenly ripped away from your home, and now that it was in the middle of the night, you were nervous, anxious, and hungry.

You opened the door to your room. The hallway was brightly lit and empty. All of the footsteps you heard on your way up to the room had gone quiet. You turned back into your room and grabbed a candle holding that was placed on one of the mantels.

Their father’s words echoed in their brain. In an unknown place, never go without a weapon.

At least he was good for something, you thought.

Closing the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway. You recognized the familiar landmarks in the hallway that had led to the staircase—a picture frame a few doors down, a vase that stood on the podium at the corner where you had to turn.

Soon enough, you found your way back to the grand staircase. The tall door loomed over you as you placed your hand on the doorknob.

I could leave.

You began to twist it.

You jumped in alarm as a small crash sounded to the left of the hall. You glanced back at the door. It was probably locked and you didn’t have any of your stuff. How far would you have gotten? And even if you got far, where would you go?

Despite your better judgment, you followed the sound. This is how people in horror movies get killed, you thought. This hallway was darker than the one upstairs, but a strong crack of light shone through a door. You raised the candle holder.

Toe-ing the door opened, you straightened your spine and held the holder tighter. As your line of sight got wider, you saw a boy standing behind a long metal table. A backdrop of fridges and cabinets came into view. He had his head down, his rough grey hair fell in front of his forehead and eyes. He focused on something that was in hind hands.

The creaking of the door gave you away. The boy’s head jerked up, dropping what he was working on. His hand cautiously slid over the knife on the table.

His eyes locked onto yours and then travelled to the candle holder in your raised hand. He frowned. “Are you (Y/N)?”

You swallowed. “Maybe.”

The corners of his lips tugged up. “Are you going to hit me with that thing?”

“Maybe,” you repeated.

“Okay,” he said. His eyes lingered on you for another moment before he shrugged and picked up the thing he had dropped.

Were all of the Inarizaki members so...carefree? If you were back at your house, the slightest creak in the floorboards was enough cause to have security roaming around the halls.

You took a step closer. The item that he dropped was rice. You glanced at the table. A bowl of rice was beside him as well as various fillings and dishes. A cutting board that was covered in pieces of cut seaweed was in front of him. His head was back down and his hands were shaping rice into triangles.

“Are you making Onigiri?”

He met your gaze again, his eyes gleaming in a way they hadn’t before as if the topic cheered him up. “I am,” he said. He cocked his head to the side. “The finished ones are over there if you want some.”

He watched you. “Unless you want to beat me to death with a candle holder.”

You glared and tentatively put the holder down. “It would be a waste of a candle holder. It’s probably expensive too.”

“It is,” he said, “it’s also stolen.”

You scrunch your nose. “Pleasant.”

You picked up the Onigiri closest to you. It was still warm. “It’s not...poisoned is it?”

He scoffed and looked at you offendedly. “You can threaten me with a candle holder, but do not insult my food.”

You raised your eyebrows, a small smile finding its way to your mouth. “I’ll take that as a no then.”

The rice melted in your mouth. It tasted so much like your mother’s; if you closed your eyes, you could picture yourself standing back in your kitchen. Your mother would smile at you and then scold you for moulding the rice too harshly.

“A lighter touch, (Y/N),” she would say. “Take your time. No need to rush.”

“Are you okay?” the grey-haired boy asked.

You wiped your tears away hastily and turned to him. “These are really good,” you said, a light tone in your voice. You finished off the Onigiri in silence and then picked up another one. He didn’t pressure any more information out of you. “Do you need any help?”

He glanced at the bowl of rice beside him. Despite the full try of onigiri, there was still quite a bit of rice left. “Do you know how to make them?”

“My mom taught me.”

He regarded you thoughtfully. “There are gloves under the sink,” he said, “or you can just wash your hands. It doesn’t matter.”

Shortly after you washed your hands, you joined him at the table. The first few were done in silence. You focused on the repeated motion.

“I am (Y/N), by the way,” you muttered. “In case you didn’t notice.”

He chuckled. “I’ve noticed.” He paused. “Miya Osamu.”

You nodded. You slowed your pace, not wanting to go back upstairs yet.

“I heard you think that we’re going to axe murder you,” he said. When he saw you look at him, he shrugged. “Word gets around. My brother got a kick out of it.”

You jutted out your chin. “Maybe I should kick your brother.”

Osamu laughed, a sharp, cheerful sound that made you smile. “I would love to see that.” He looked at you from the corner of his eye. “We’re not that bad, you know.”

“I don’t think that you’re all spawns of demons,” you said. “I just think that it would be easier if I could...hate all of you,” you admitted. “It’s obvious that I don’t want to be here, which you probably know. I have zero skills that are helpful to Inarizaki as a whole and if I hate it here then it’ll be easier to go back.”

“To the father who gave you to us like nothing?”

You shrugged. “My mother’s there. The little details don’t matter.”

Osamu smiled. “Okay, but don’t say that you’re skill-less. You know how to make Onigiri and probably a lot more, if you ask me, that’s a solid skill in my book.”

Word gets around.

You thought about it when you parted ways with Osamu and until your eyes closed for the night. The words still lingered in your mind when you woke up.

You washed up and changed clothes.

When you had arrived at Inarizaki house, it couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours for word to get around. The members either had a way to get a message around or they were all super chatty among each other.

You frowned. Texts messages you dumbass.

“Why. Am. I. So. Stupid,” you muttered, banging your head against the door for each word. But if it was something else, you wanted to know how they did it.

Your door opened and you jumped back.

A golden-yellow head of hair popped out from the crack in the door. The boy widened the door and stood up straight. He had a lazy smirk on his face and looked like Osamu. My brother got a kick out of it.

“Did you knock?” he asked.

You narrowed your eyes. “Were you waiting for my knock?”

His lazy smirk grew. “I wait for a lot of things, lunch for one. I’ll walk you?”

You hesitated. All of the people you’ve met have been kind to you, or at least didn’t harm you, but you couldn’t be sure when that would end.

“Unless you’d rather kick me first? Word—”

“—gets around,” you finished. “I know.” You cleared your throat. “I said that your brother could watch when I did.”

He laughed. “I bet he did. Let’s go.”

He—Atsumu, he introduced—walked ahead of you, only glancing back every now and then to make sure you were following. “Were you just lying about not being able to do anything?”

“I know how to make Onigiri and I’m surprisingly good at cutting out paper hearts.”

He rolled his eyes.

You continued, “I can also hold my breath underwater for—”

“You know what I mean,” he cut off.

You grinned. “I know what I’m supposed to do, I’ve just never done any of it.”

Atsumu furrowed his eyes together. “But you know what to do.”

You matched his pace as he descended the stairs. “Is there something that you want in particular or are you just full of fun questions?

Atsumu turned around. You pulled yourself back from nearly crashing into him. He eyed you weirdly. It was reminiscent of his brother’s gaze, but it had a level of confidence and menace that made you feel like you were on the losing side.

If I’m getting axe-murdered by anyone here, it’ll definitely be by this guy, you thought. You pulled your shoulders back.

“Are you usually this straightforward?” he asked.

“Are you usually this vague?”

“I want to know what you know.”

You blinked. “Yeah, I’m not following.”

Atsumu looked around the room. There were loud sounds coming from the kitchen, but otherwise, the main room was empty. He leaned in, smirk gone. You forced yourself not to move away.

“Kurosu doesn’t tell us much in terms of how Inarizaki runs, like he just assumes that he’s going to live forever and won’t pass on any information to any of us. You, out of all odds, probably know more about how to run a gang than any of us.”

“So you want me to tell you what I know?” You shook your head. “That requires the assumption that I actually know what you want.”

“But you do,” a voice said.

You and Atsumu whipped your heads over the banister of the stairs. Kita, Osamu, Suna, and a few other people you didn’t recognize gathered to the side of the stairs.

Kita’s eye’s flashed as he took a step forward. “You can’t tell me that your father didn’t make you sit through meetings and forced information on you. I saw the way you looked around when I was showing you to your room, you were taking in information the way that Kurosu did when we went to your house, the way that we’re all trained to do. Even if you claim that you’re skilless, it doesn’t mean that you are.”

“It could be a partnership,” Atsumu suggested, his eyes back on you. “Kurosu told us this morning that you’re staying until the deal is over. Your father said it was his own fault that Kurosu didn’t verify if you had the skills or not.”

“Sounds like him,” you said. “What an ass.”

Atsumu snickered.

You went around Atsumu to level yourself with the rest of the Inarizaki members. They all had the same gleam in their eye of determination...and something else. You couldn’t put your finger on it. Atsumu footsteps followed behind you and then joined the side of the other members.

You stood away from them. “Are you going to tell Kurosu?”

“No,” Kita said.

“A partnership,” you repeated. “Doesn’t that mean we both benefit from this? Not that I really need or want anything, but there’s got to be something right? Are you going to get me a lifetime supply of ice cream?”

“We can get you that, or at least try, if that’s what you want,” Suna said, his quiet voice took over the room. “A lot can happen in a year. For instance, your father could have an unfortunate accident.”

“You want to kill him?”

Suna shrugged. “It can be arranged is what I’m saying.”

You sighed. “No killing, please.”

“Then what do you want?” Osamu asked.

You could picture yourself clearly. A year from now you would walk into your father’s house and recite all of the things that you’ve learned from Inarizaki. You would stretch the truth until it became paper-thin. You would watch your father fall so slowly, it would be as if he willingly pushed himself off the cliff

You smiled. “I’ve got a thing or two in mind.”

A lot could happen in a year and you would make the most of it.

Tackling these requests slowly because my tiny peanut brain can’t come up with any ideas of how I want stories to go.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed - Kiwi

Posted: 16/05/2021

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