#not even gonna queue this. it's already taken long enough to get posted

[s4ndg3m]

second round of regretevator icons! i meant to make an infected and uhhhhhhhhh emerson one to upload with these but that was 2 months ago so. yes. smaller versions (aka more upload friendly) below cut

Free use, no credit needed! DO NOT REMOVE SIGNATURE

i like prototype's the most. like yeah ur staring or whatever. i might get the infected + emerson + maybe some other characters done at some point if i ever feel like it, but don't wait up. feel free to COMMISSION THESE. because i do make them custom. i HAVE made one custom. they're very fun.

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

18 on the choose violence 😏

EDIT: As y'all may have guessed, my queue I was saving drafts of these in was running last night and I forgot to switch the time over so here's the real answer.

18 - It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: you want me to CHOOSE?!? You expect me to CHOOSE just ONE character from Sandman that the fandom sleeps on?!?!?!? Oh, jail for 1000 years - well let me spin the roulette wheel Rose and Jed.

ROSE. God I'm emotional about her. She's been through so much, the loss of her baby brother with a father who it's implied was not the nicest, lost her mother and her best friend in the same year, and she nearly destroyed the world but yknow what, she literally did nothing wrong here. She called Dream an asshole and totally got away with it. She's got gay hair and gayer friends (fellow bi!Rose truthers anyone???? Hello??? Someone else please discuss, queer people do all tend to flock together) and I hope she gets everything she wants.

I really want to explore the possibilities of a growing relationship with her and her immortal family sometime. Morpheus isn't just going to forget about her and Jed and him looking out for her baby brother is the only way I can see her kind of starting to warm up to him again. Like I WANT to see that weird tense but possibly loving relationship explored. Dream clearly respected her intelligence and wanted to give her more information (even if he was also using her to find the Corinthian which. Not cool).

(Also I think she'd go NUTS for the library of Dreams. Like she's a writer and suddenly she's seeing all the books never published?? Who wouldn't want to read them all?)

I have feelings about the parallels between her and Death. Plus I have a hc as some of my friends already know, that in one of Rose's low moments Despair finds her and something about the fact that this girl is family tugs at her. She has her function and her duties but she also has a sense of loyalty. So that could cause some seriously juicy potential internal conflict for her AND Rose honestly kind of needs an outlet for her bottled up grief and the weightof responsibility she feels. For Jed, for Lyta and her son...feel free to ask or dm me if you want to know more this post is already long enough xD

(And the fact that in a series where she's ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS for multiple episodes of this series she gets so much less attention ON HER OWN SELF - I'm talking art and fic overall PERIOD, let alone stuff where she gets any interiority of her own or her character taken seriously is just. I don't even know man)

jED. My precious baby boy my son. I want to give him a hug. I want to wrap him in a warm blanket and give him cocoa and as much popcorn as he wants. Dream's reaction to Jed was in fact channeling me. This kid has been through too much and he deserves to live a happier life with his sister, so thank God he's gonna get it.

(But also does anyone wanna talk to me about the fact that Jed is a possible candidate for Dream's successor when he's older and might be even more viable than MASSIVE COMIC SPOILER ALERT Daniel Hall and all the ways this could complicate things HELLO.)

Miranda Walker - either the gif search function is broken which isn't beyond the realm of possibility here, or I couldn't find one gif of her in this show. And I KNOW people have made them I just can't find one...sigh

But I really want her to get more attention because her story is so potentially fascinating even if she barely got any screen time. Like this girl is the granddaughter of Desire, that must've massively impacted her life. I want to know how she dealt with the relationship with her children's father going sour and him taking Jed away and her struggling to raise her kids.

And last but certainly not least drumroll please...UNITY. That's right we're giving the whole Walker-Kincaid family some love!!

HER. The queen the legend the moment.

Her story man...it gets me emotional every time. She could've had a life in the waking world. I really want to see more about what her dream life (which we know she experienced as real, with time passing and all, because of the things she said about it) was like. Even without Desire, how did she handle basically growing up in Wonderland surrounded by dreams? (I can't take credit for the Alice in Wonderland vibes that was @violetoftheendless 's great idea.) Did she make friends and a new found family there? Did she see signs she didn't understand at the time of dreams and nightmares falling into chaos and eventually leaving the realm in a slow trickle?

But also she's just such a genuinely lovely person. She took Rose into her heart without a second thought and was prepared to take Jed - I'm sure she didn't know how much more time she had but she knew she didn't have forever, and she wanted a family again and she'd lost her own parents long ago and never gotten to say goodbye...and the kicker is, unlike in the comic where she's basically on her deathbed already, she COULD have possibly lived a little longer. But she chose to sacrifice her new life to save Rose's. If this woman doesn't deserve the Spirit of Love label like I've seen in some truly beautiful meta from @windsweptinred I don't know who does. BUT ALSO she's not a perfect inhuman angel either, she is capable of being charmed by the Corinthian, which - looking around at the fandom, one can see she's not alone so I for one can't blame her too much, but also she met the king of dreams and nightmares and within less than 5 minutes called him a himbo to his face. She's beautifully human with icon behavior and Sandra James-Young deserves all the credit in the world for this role.

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 27 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Hello my loves! Just a reminder that this chapter is posting from the queue as I am on vacation--- I will be checking in periodically but less active than usual and not updating the tag list! Hope y’all enjoy this one :)

Read previous chapters of this fic here! 

contains: food mention, hangover mention, discussion of parenting, canon-typical mentions of violence

wordcount: 2k

When you woke up the next morning, you’re somewhere between completely refreshed and wickedly hungover. You need a bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel and a big cup of coffee stat if you are going to get anything at all done today. Aaron, of course, must have gotten up hours ago, and has long past left the bedroom by the time you rise at nearly 11. When you roll to get out of  bed, you notice that he’s left you advil, water, and a sleeve of saltines just in case you were feeling nauseous. You smiled, sitting up gingerly to sip at the water and take the pills. Once you were sure your stomach was fine, you slid out of bed and found Jack and Aaron in the kitchen, cooking up bacon and frying eggs while The Beatles played in the background. The boys hadn’t noticed you yet, and you decided not to call attention to yourself-- taking the moment to commit this mental image to memory, of Jack on his father’s hip, Aaron rocking back and forth as he pushed scrambled eggs around a frying pan, smiling and giggling and not thinking about work or serial killers or the next time he’d be pulled away.

When the song fades out, Aaron looks up, seeing you leaning against the doorway to the hall. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?” He asks, looking you up and down for signs of a hangover. 

“I’m okay. I’ll be better after breakfast,” you tell him. “And a big hug from my favorite Hotchner!” You add, crossing the kitchen and taking Jack from his father, shooting Aaron a knowing glance that said “I’m pretty sure physical therapy didn’t clear you for that. Especially not after last night.” 

“I cracked the eggs. There’s no shells in them, Mom.” Jack says, and the world stops. He doesn’t even seem to notice that he’s slipped up, but Aaron and you both freeze, whipping your heads to look at each other with equally bewildered glances. 

“I’m sure you did a great job, buddy!” You tell Jack, after a moment that feels like hours, not wanting to ignore him but not quite sure how to address what had happened, and Aaron wasn’t being much help. 

“Breakfast is ready,” Aaron says, handing you exactly what you needed-- a bacon and egg sandwich, along with a hashbrown, some fruit, and a big cup of coffee. 

“You might be the perfect man.” You tell him gratefully, and he smirks at you as the three of you sit down at the table and eat.  

You and Aaron make casual conversation for a little while before Jack poses a question. “Dad, can we take my kite out today?” Jack asks as he spears a sausage link on his fork. 

“It’s not really windy enough to fly a kite today, buddy, but we can go for a bike ride or play some soccer if you want,” Aaron responds before taking a sip of coffee. 

“And we’ll all go?” Jack asks, looking across the table at you. 

“Of course,” you tell him. “We’ll all go to the park with you.” 

“Okay. Can I be excused?” He asks, and Aaron nods. 

“Go ahead, just make sure you wash your hands and your face. You’ve got syrup everywhere,” He chuckles, and Jack scoots out his chair and leaves the table. 

As soon as Jack is out of eyesight, you speak up. “So, are we gonna talk about that, or what?” You say in a hushed tone, not wanting Jack to overhear. 

“I didn’t tell him to do that,” Aaron says. 

“Neither did I,” you assure him. 

“Are you upset?” Aaron asks, a furrow in his brow that just about broke your heart. Silly, silly man. 

“No, of course not. Not if you aren’t.” You assure him. 

“I just… he can’t forget Haley. He’s all that is left of her.” Aaron says with a deep sigh, and your eyes well up in tears. 

“No, Aaron, he hasn’t and he won’t. We won’t let him.” You say, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “And if you don’t want him to call me Mom, I understand.” 

“That’s not it. It’s just… bringing a lot up for me, is all.” He says. 

“That’s normal, honey. You should think about it for a while, maybe talk about it just with him. No matter what you decide, you’re not going to disappoint me or him. But it’s okay to need some time with this.” You say, standing up to wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing a kiss to the junction of his shoulder and his neck. 

“Thank you, for understanding me and for respecting her.” he tells you, raising one hand to cover yours where they met over his heart, craning his neck to leave a kiss on your wrist. 

“Baby, have you seen my phone?” You asked, realizing that you haven’t checked it all morning. 

“It’s charging next to mine on the bedside table. You were having a little trouble with the charger when we got in last night,” he chuckles at the memory of your drunken antics from the night before. 

You go into the other room to grab your phones, noticing that you have two missed calls from Penelope--- you only just missed her. You dial her back as you head back towards the kitchen to help Aaron clean up. 

“Where are you right now?” Garcia asks you as soon as the line connects, and your face twists up in confusion as you put your plate in the dishwasher. 

“I’m at Aaron’s place, where are you?” You ask, not understanding her line of questioning. 

“Is Jack in the room with you?” 

“Garcia, what’s going on?”  You ask, starting to get nervous. Aaron turns to face you, sensing your anxiety and you place a hand on his forearm for support. 

“Last night, when we were all at the bar, a girl was kidnapped, who based on the description, looks a hell of a lot like you. A neighbor saw the guy, and based on the he neighbor’s description--

“It looks like Josh,” you finished Garcia’s sentence, and you felt Aaron tense under your fingers. He puts his palm out, silently asking for your phone, and you pass it to him without even telling Garcia that you were putting him on. 

You were scared, terrified even, but you knew that the best thing you could do right then was be a profiler. You left Aaron to settle the details, and went into his bedroom to find something work-appropriate to wear. By the time you came back out, Aaron was off the phone. 

“I called the rest of the team in, they’re going to meet us at the office. We’re going to get this loser, and we’re going to get him today,” Aaron lets out, and you nod.

“I’ll take Jack over to Jess’s,” you say, turning back towards Jack’s room, and he stopped you. 

“No. You stay with me. Jess is on her way,” Aaron says, and she knocks at the door at the next moment. “I just told her that we got called in,” he tells you as he answers the door. 

“Morning, guys,” she says as she steps in, entirely too chipper for the terror that’s rolling through your stomach in waves. “Duty calls, right?” She smiles at you, and you use all the power you have to muster a smile back. 

“Yeah, even at the worst times,” you’re impressed that you strung that many words together. 

“Any idea when you’ll be back?” She asks, and you shake your head. 

“We’ve really got to go,” Aaron says, coming back into the room with Jack, who gives you and his father both hugs before you have to leave. You squeeze him extra tight before Aaron ushers you out of the apartment and towards the car. 

“I am not going to let anything happen to you.” Aaron tells you after a few moments of tense, silent driving. 

“I know,” you say noncommittally, and it’s back to silence. 

“You can’t go in the field.” You both say after a moment. 

“Darling, you have to understand--” 

“No, Aaron, it’s not even up for debate. You’re out because of your leg, and JJ is pregnant. The team needs me, and I can’t sit this one out because either one of us is emotional about it,” You argue, and Aaron heaves a sigh. 

“I wish Elle were here. Josh wouldn’t even still be a problem.” Aaron grumbles out, and despite yourself, you burst out laughing. Aaron’s shocked at first by your reaction, but after a moment, he lets out a laugh, too. 

“Aaron, that’s awful. You were upset with Elle for months, even after she left. You’re better than that.” You say, still smiling even though it really wasn’t funny at all. 

“Yeah, well, when you hobbled out to my car with a black eye, I think I began to understand Elle a little bit better than I did at the time.” Aaron tells you. 

You think of the girl Josh has taken now-- being punished only for the sin of resembling you. No doubt she had her own black eye to match yours, plus god only knows what else at this point, nearly twelve hours after being taken. You swallowed thickly. After a moment, you speak up again.

“You knew that this was going to happen, didn’t you?” You ask quietly-- it’s a genuine question, not an accusation, but it still breaks Aaron’s heart. “That’s why you weren’t excited or relieved like I was when he got arrested.”

“I knew it was a possibility,” he confirms. “I didn’t want to say anything to you, because there was no way to know-- and I didn’t want you to have to keep living in fear,” he explains.

 “I’m gonna get this son of a bitch,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Aaron. 

The team is already waiting for the two of you in the roundtable room while you arrive, although there’s really no need to brief, so you all launch into a profile while Garcia digs for more information. 

“What do we know about the unsub?” Aaron asks the team.

“He’s a power-seeker. He uses physical force as a method of coercion.” Morgan says, and Reid scribbles his statement onto a whiteboard. 

“He doesn’t react well when challenged--- his demeanor completely changed when he came here and Hotch went after him.” Emily adds. 

“True, but he had no problem going toe-to-toe with Morgan.” JJ contradicts. 

“Based on the message he left with the flowers, he’s displaying early indicators of stalking behavior. If that’s escalated far enough, it’s possible that Josh might really believe that the woman that he’s taken is Y/N.” Spencer says, and you nod. For her sake, you hoped not. He had a hell of a lot of pent up anger towards you, and you didn’t want this poor girl to take the brunt of it. 

“What’s her name?” You asked, quietly, and with everyone talking over you, you almost think no one hears you, until Aaron leans in a little closer. 

“What’s that, darling?” He asks. 

“What’s her name?” You say again, and his brow furrows in confusion. 

“Who’s name?”

“The girl who’s taking the beating with my name on it right now,” you spit out, and the rest of the team stops talking over you. “The least I can do is learn her name and go talk to her parents.” You say, packing your stuff up.

“Her name is Anna Reardon. We’ll send the address to your phone,” Emily tells you, and you turn on your heel and walk out. 

tagging:  @romanogersendgame @wanniiieeee      @zheezs14      @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13  @baumarvel @ssamorganhotchner  @ijustwannaread2k19    @rexit-mo @shmaptainhotchnersmain @qtip-blog @averyhotchner  @the-modernmary @itsmytimetoodream @choppa-style @hotforhotchner11 @infinite-tides @isthatme-thatsme @g-l-pierce @bakugouswh0r3 @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @rousethemouse

[donaidk]

Mick Schumacher - Worth the wait

I’m sorry for slacking in the last few days, I had a few things around uni I had to get done before sitting down and writing. But I’m now back with another Mick oneshot that I hope you guys will like 😊 Thank you for the request and wishing a great week for everyone 🥰🧡

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

Looking through the closet Y/N really didn’t know what she should put on for the day that was comfortable but at the same time would look good. Usually she wouldn’t really care about looks and fashion if she wanted to dress comfy, but knowing how many cameras and photographers will be there during the day, she felt like it was a must this time. All the fans looked at those photos before or after the races, her being one of them as on several occasions those were the only way for her to see Mick other than during their FaceTime calls. However, this time she would be on them too, and even though she promised herself it wouldn’t matter, in the end it wasn’t that easy to get over. She did care about what the fans will think about her, although less than what Mick’s crew members and team members will. That was probably the most nerve wracking part of the weekend. Y/N already met some of them as she attended the first practice session on friday, but staying in the background and not even entering the garage meant she stayed a stranger to them until today.

“ You can take something from mine if you would like. ” She heard from behind him and turning her head towards the voice she could see Mick getting ready just a few meters away from her. “ I have some team stuff too, if you need anything. ” He added, pointing at the suitcase that was still half full with black-red Haas branded shirts and sweaters. Y/N’s anxiety was quite visible on her face, and he knew wearing his shirts sometimes helped calm her down somehow.

“ Maybe. I don’t know… ” Y/N let out a sigh, debating if her wearing his things would bring positive or negative feedback. In the end she just took one of her favourite shirts of his, pushing every thought back as she pulled the material over her head, tucking it into her jeans a little. When she stepped out of the closet Mick was ready too, sitting on the bed and waiting for her. “ Ready! ” She added when he looked up at her and with a nod got up from the bed.

As it was a home GP for Mick they were able to stay in his home rather than a hotel room and start the day from there. It wasn’t a long drive from the apartment to the circuit, giving Y/N just around 20 minutes to prepare herself mentally for the day. Luckily it wasn’t her driving and she could just watch the trees and houses go by as they passed them on the way. She knew everything felt strange because it was just her first time attending a race, and that hopefully if there was going to be a next time, it would be a bit calmer. She didn’t know how people will act towards her, but after getting through the first meetings it will be easier to be around them. It was usually just the first impressions that made her so anxious.

“ They’re going to love you, don’t worry about it. ” They were just turning off the road towards the private parking lot of the circuit when Y/N started bouncing her knee a little bit and Mick could see it from the corner of his eye. “ I would be really surprised if there would be anyone who doesn’t like you by the end of the day. ” He chuckled, looking to his right when the car was parked and with one last squeeze to her hand, they both got out of the vehicle.

‘ Just don’t jinx it. ’ Y/N let out a sigh, taking her backpack out before stepping right next to Mick as she didn’t know where they had to go first. He shared the schedule with her, but it was a bit too much information all together, and she couldn’t really remember everything that was on the papers. Knowing that she will be either next to Mick or someone else from the team during the whole day was enough for her.

Getting to the entrance they both let themselves in with their passes, Y/N needing a bit of help from him initially, and as they were walking down the paddock Mick took her hand in his. Just seconds later she spotted a few photographers turning their way, but somehow she didn’t care about them. She never really cared about being photographed until it was done by official photographers and not just jealous fans or paparazzi on the streets. She wanted her private life out of the media, keeping all her social media pages private and only posting for her friends and family. Y/N did rarely appear on Mick’s posts or stories, but he was observant of her choices and made sure she was always okay with whatever he wanted to put out. This one time she was even looking forward to the photos taken of them, but would never admit it to anyone. She may have even smiled at a few of them when they passed their booth before entering the Haas hospitality.

“ Well, they probably already like you. Not all partners are that happy about them taking photos. ” Mick let her get through the door first, stepping next to her again inside. It wasn’t a huge building, but looking around quickly Y/N knew she would probably manage to get lost alone. “ If you need food or anything it’s there, and if you need quiet you can always just go to my room upstairs. ” He pointed in different directions, showing everything to her as they went to the stairs and up to the second level of the building.

“ I’m probably gonna stay mostly just out of the way. ” Y/N let out a sigh, following him inside the little room and just putting down her backpack on the sofa. “ Am I even allowed into the garage? Or is it just this building and the stands for guests? ” She asked, watching as he was already packing out a few things from his own bag.

“ Of course you’re allowed. Even if you weren’t I would get them to somehow let you in. It’s your choice if you would like to watch it from the garage or a stand seat. ” Mick shrugged a little, looking up at her with a smile on his face. For him it was still hard to believe that she actually came to the race and didn’t run away yet. “ I’m sure you won’t distract anyone. They’re gonna sit you down somewhere and just continue with their jobs. ” He added when Y/N still didn’t look convinced one bit, even though she knew Mick would never lie to her about anything.

“ I’ll probably just go there with you, watch the race itself from the stands, and then go back to the garage after the race. ” She decided a few minutes later when they were already leaving the building as he had to get some interviews out of the way before getting ready for the main event. She already knew his PR people as they did sometimes meet up with him on non race days too. “ Even at home I can’t stay put while you’re racing. I would just drive them round the bend, but you're the only one who should be driving today. ” Y/N let out a laugh at her own joke, seeing as Mick just shook his head.

When they got to the media pen she let go of his hand, letting him do his job and watching him talk to the reporters from the sidelines. She was too far away to hear any of it, but seeing the constant smile on his face showed Y/N that he was enjoying the questions. They could be a bit prying into his private life occasionally, but mostly they just stayed with the sport and only asked about his performance and opinion on the races. She really didn’t know how someone could enjoy people always questioning them, but she knew it was a part of Mick’s career and even if he didn’t want to do it sometimes, he had to. For her it was enough to just watch them and probably would have never chosen to do an interview if it wasn’t a must. She knew the drivers had media training, Mick probably a lot more thanks to his family, but she still couldn’t imagine how it felt doing this almost every week.

“ Less exciting bit of the day done. ” Mick came up behind her, his arms circling her waist as she turned around to take a few pictures of the sunny paddocks. It wasn’t the usual weather for the German GP, and it looked quite mesmerizing with the sun shining onto the circuit for once. “ Hopefully the weather can stay the same for the race. ” He added with a sigh but a grin got on his face when the camera was turned and Y/N took a selfie of them, almost immediately sending it to their two-family group chat.

“ I wouldn’t mind a bit of sunbathing either. ” She nodded, sliding her phone back into her pockets and turned towards Mick to hug him back. They had a bit of time before he had to get back to the team building and get on with the schedule. “ I’ll probably just catch up with your family while you have meetings, and then meet the team during lunch. If you have enough time of course. ” Y/N added, still looking up at him, remembering that his family is attending the race too. They couldn’t come to all of them, but as they were here already, it wasn’t difficult for them to stay a few days longer and watch the race.

“ We will probably. The race starts later anyway. ” Mick nodded, only letting go of her when they had to get going. Even then he held her hand, pulling Y/N closer when it got crowded around them, so he wouldn’t lose her among all the people. “ I’m gonna go and find you afterwards. Have fun. ” They shared a quick kiss as they arrived at the building and went their different ways. Mick inside for his meetings while Y/N tried to not get lost as she got to the part of the paddocks where Mick’s family sat down for a coffee.

Luckily a few minutes later she was already sitting next to Gina with a coffee in front of her, meaning she didn’t take a wrong turn anywhere. Thanks to Y/N studying away from Germany and Mick travelling around the world they don’t always get to talk in person. It was mostly just phone calls or FaceTime calls when she was with Mick. She sometimes talked to Gina as they weren’t too far apart in age and had a few interests in common, but not as much with Corinna, even though she felt like a second mother to her. She never thought her boyfriend’s family would become such a big part of her life. Actually, until Mick they never really mattered to her, but Corinna and Gina had such a positive attitude towards their relationship and her from the first second she was introduced to them, that they felt like a second family. If Mick’s friends were just a bit like his family she had nothing to fear.

“ Oh Corinna, didn’t know you guys are gonna be here. ” Looking to their right they saw Seb coming up to them, and greeting everyone with a quick hug before he turned to Y/N. “ And even bigger surprise. It’s great to see you here finally. ” He said with a grin, stepping back after their embrace so they all could see Lance coming up to them. Probably because of Seb and not them.

“ I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Y/N. ” She didn’t know where the courage came from to be so straight forward but hoped it won’t disappear in the next few minutes. She knew Seb pretty well already, as he was around Mick even on off days, and him being there helped her with opening up to Lance a bit.

“ I’m Lance and no, not yet. Although I’ve heard about you. ” Lance let out a little laugh while Y/N’s eyes went a bit wider than usual. “ Only good things. ” He added with a comforting smile, not wanting to scare her that she’s always a topic between them. She did remember a few occasions when Mick mentioned that he talks with Lance too, and not just Seb, but she never asked about the subject.

As they didn’t have to go anywhere, everyone decided that they would wait until Mick got to them. Since they arrived in the country they didn’t have more than a minute to sit still and talk with him, so they weren’t about to give up such a possibility. Y/N knew that Mick wouldn’t mind either, as he was always happy to catch up with friends, and after just a few minutes she didn’t mind either. Lance turned out to be a sweet person, just as Seb always was towards her and she actually was glad they met, and got to talk a little bit.

“ Are you usually travelling with him? ” Lance asked a bit later when they mentioned the next race and if she feels like attending again with all these new experiences.

“ Mostly just during the summer when uni is off my schedule. I usually just explored the cities while he raced. ” Y/N nodded a little, drinking the last bits of her coffee. “ Looks like I will watch the races instead of acting like a tourist. The timing is lucky, as I was about to run out of places to look at. ” She added with a smile, letting the waitress take away her empty cup.

“ Not many of us can get their partners to travel with them. He’s lucky with you in several ways. ” Lance let out a sigh, making Y/N blush and she was about to speak up when she felt two palms rest onto her shoulder.

“ I for sure am, even if I didn’t hear why. ” The owner of the hands spoke up, and a smile got on Y/N’s voice as she immediately recognized Mick’s voice, looking up at him for a second. “ Looks like you’re gonna meet everyone important on the first day. ” He glanced down at her before pulling a chair next to them so he could sit down too after greeting everyone.

“ I never feared your friends. The team is another different question. ” Y/N shook her head a little, looking at him for a bit too long before getting back to the conversation that got disrupted. They stayed right until lunchtime hit and they had to leave for their separate team building while Corinna and Gina went for a walk before the race.

The team members were intimidating at first as there were many of them and they were all curious about her, asking questions so they could get to know her. Luckily minutes after they sat down with their plates of food, everyone calmed down a little and they could finally find the common voice. In the end the meal was an experience that she could put onto the positive part of the list of the day. In the end she even found a few people to talk to while Mick was getting ready. She did go up to his drivers room a few minutes before they would leave, to have a few words with him before the race. He was already in his racing suit, although it was just halfway done, with the top half hanging down from his waist, and for a second Y/N forgot why she was there actually. Somehow the thin white material looked just as good on him as being shirtless did.

“ You’re off to the stands? ” Mick’s voice got her back from thoughts-land and she nodded as soon as her brain finally understood the question. “ We can meet here after the race if you want. They will let you guys in without any trouble. ” He offered, Y/N again just nodding as she didn’t trust her voice until he stepped back a little.

“ Yeah, that sounds good. ” She finally spoke up when Mick stepped back for one more thing and she felt like she could breathe again. “ Be careful. ” Y/N added, returning the quick kiss he initiated and it was a fight with herself to step back and leave the room. It was her first time she was here to witness moments like these, and Y/N couldn’t understand why she made the wait so long for herself.

From the moment she left the building everything happened as they discussed. She watched Mick race everyone and give his all from the stands, sitting next to Gina. They celebrated together with the crowd when the cars crossed the finish line for the last time and while he got the car back to the garage and parked it, they walked back down there. All three of them let the team congratulate him for a fantastic drive, before they stepped up to him one by one, Y/N closing the line. She didn’t really care as this way she could stay next to Mick from the moment he hugged her and didn’t have to step away until he went to change into normal clothing. In the end, even though they planned a private dinner, Y/N felt so secure with his team that they joined them in the hotel restaurant and celebrated the race together with everyone else working next to Mick and his teammate. However Y/N imagined this day would turn out, it exceeded all her expectations.

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch7: Old Habits Die Hard

Part 1

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: The Losers head to Mexico for Pooch’s wedding but there’s something wrong with Stella…

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson

Warnings: Bad language and a whole heap of angst.

A/N: So this chapter is a LONG one- so it’s split into a number of parts, to be posted over the next week or so. A LOT going down, and we really hope you enjoy it as it’s our favourite one to date for these pair of dumbasses.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 6

 April 2008

Clay, Roque, Cougar and Jake arrived in Mexico on a glorious Thursday morning, two days before Pooch's wedding and wasted no time in settling into their hotel and kicking back with a few drinks, soaking up the sun and taking the chance to relax. Cougar was in his element, being in his native country and an area which he knew particularly well. That evening he took them away from the resort of Cozumel to a little village fifteen miles or so inland where they visited a few back alley bars he knew, meeting up with a couple of his friends. The Losers then found themselves roped into several games of poker, all of them losing a fairly substantial amount of money until Clay, rather sensibly, called time on the gambling to avoid Future Mrs Pooch going thermonuclear at them for gambling away any future Mini Pooches’ inheritance money. They somehow made it back to the hotel and managed to deliver Pooch safely to his intended. The man could hardly stand by the time they got back thanks to the copious amount of Tequila he had consumed, something Clay, Roque and Jensen were quick to blame on Cougar when an irate Jolene opened the door to their suite, a furious look on her face.

As it stood, the hangovers they were all suffering on Friday morning were clearly their penance for leading Pooch astray. Jake had woken up with a mouth like he had been eating sand, and had stood in a cold shower for fifteen minutes solid trying to find it in him to function like a normal human being. He headed down for breakfast ten minutes before the hotel was due to stop serving and spotted Clay, Cougar and Roque sat at a table on the outside balcony, all sporting sunglasses and looking as bad as he felt. Jensen helped himself to as much as his plate could handle from the buffet and tucked in. He was beyond thankful that the food went someway to actually settling his churning stomach as opposed to making it worse. As he downed his fourth orange juice of the morning, he felt his mobile buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out, his lips quirking into a smile as he read the message.

"It's Stel." He announced to the table. "She says ETA about forty minutes."

"How come she isn't here already?" Roque asked and Jensen rolled his eyes.

"Agent Shit-name was working, apparently. Meant they could only fly out early this morning." He swallowed the bite of toast he had rather viciously taken at the thought of Stel’s asshat boyfriend.

"Touchy subject." Clay looked at Roque. "Pooch is still low-key pissed she missed his Batchelor party."

Roque said nothing, simply raised his eyebrows as Jensen leaned back in his chair, massaging his now full stomach. "The guy is a dick." He spat venomously.

"Yes, but there's gonna be no trouble." Cougar turned to him, tipping his hat up slightly so he could see him.

"I'm a lover, not a fighter, Cougs." Jensen grinned and Cougar gave a snort, shaking his head.

They finished breakfast and after several more coffees were eventually ushered out of the restaurant by a very harassed looking waiter. As they wandered back through the hotel lobby, Clay stopped and waved, causing Jensen to turn and look, a smile spreading across his face as he saw Stella walking through the door pulling her suitcase. He frowned at the fact asshole wasn’t carrying it for her, but as Stella approached them he realised that Evan was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s agent Shit-Name?” He blurted out by way of greeting, and Stella responded with a filthy glare, otherwise ignoring him completely. She turned instead to greet Roque and Cougar before she gave Clay a huge hug.

“Good flight, Arty?” Roque asked and she smiled at him, popping a shoulder.

“As good as it gets. But they didn’t have tomato juice. Would you believe it?”

Clay gave a huge laugh. “Since when have you drunk that stuff?”

“It’s not that bad, plus if you drink alcohol on a plane you get severe dehydration.” She replied.

“You’re making that up.” Jake looked at her and she turned her attention to him, giving him an appraising look.

“I read it in Science.” She quipped back. Jake blinked, before he burst out laughing and she grinned and shook her head. “I’m just joking. I had several gin and tonics and glass of wine. I’m good.”

Roque looked at Clay. “What just happened?”

“They do this.” Clay answered. “Have you not noticed yet?”

Roque rolled his eyes and then Cougar asked the question that all of them had been dying to know the answer to. “Where’s Evan?”

Well, all bar Jake that is as he couldn’t have cared less.

Stella shifted a little, rubbing her neck, Jake instantly spotting her discomfort. “He errr, he couldn’t make it.”

“He bailed on you?” Roque frowned at the same time Clay blurted out.

“What do you mean he couldn’t make it?”

Stella licked her lips and at that point Jensen jumped in. He could see her flustered and despite his dislike of her boyfriend, he hated seeing her like that so he offered her a way out. “Work?”

She nodded, shooting him a thankful look. “Yeah, something came up.”

“Of course it came up.” Clay grumbled loudly. Whether he had meant for Stella to hear or not, hear she did. And what was more, it was apparent he didn’t believe Evan’s excuse any more than she did. Stella swallowed, she had always trusted Clay’s judgement and it was unnerving a little to realise exactly what he thought.

She took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go check in.” As she reached for her bag, a hand softly batted hers away as Jensen grabbed the handle.

“I got it.”

As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, Cougar turned to Clay as Roque shook his head

“Bastard.” Clay spat. “He’s not come and left her to pick up the flack and explain to Pooch.”

Cougs mumbled a swear word in Spanish as Clay’s eyes flicked to Stella and Jake before he pulled out his phone.

“’m gonna make some calls. Meet you at the pool bar in a while.”

*****

As they stood in the queue for the reception desk, a bunch of people all having descended to check in at once, Jake turned to Stella and took a deep breath. “Wanna tell me what’s really going on?”

“Nothing is going on, Jake.” Stella’s tone was level but firm, an indication she didn’t want to discuss the topic.

But Jensen never had been one to take heed of warnings. “I don’t believe you.”

“Well, you should.” She turned to face him, raising her brow a little. “Tell me, any Mexican chick fallen at your feet yet?”

He sighed, throwing his head back and giving a low groan. “C’mon, Stel, I thought we were past this?”

“Past what?” Her tone was innocent but Jake could tell she didn’t dare look him in the eye. Instead, she concentrated on searching for something in her purse.

“Holding out on one another.” He answered, looking at her. “You’re still my best friend.”

“Well, forgive me if I sometimes forget.” She rolled her eyes as she produced her credit card.

“Okay okay, you don’t wanna tell me then fine.” Jensen rubbed at his eye before pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Whatever.”

Stella looked at him before she gave a little sigh, and hung her head slightly. “Ev’s busy, okay? Something last minute came up and he...”

“Let me guess.” Jake rolled his eyes. “He asked you not to come without him and when you told him to fuck off you had an argument.”

“No, actually.” Stella fixed him with a glare, narrowing her eyes “He told me to come. It’s nothing like that at all.”

“Stel...”

“Jake, just drop it okay!” Her voice grew louder. “You couldn’t be further away from the truth if you tried.”

Jensen raised his hands in surrender, knowing it was time to drop the subject. “All right, all right. I really don’t wanna know.”

Before she could shoot back a response, she was called forward to the desk. Jake moved off to the side with her bag, watching her as she spoke to the guy behind the counter.

His hands dropped to his slim hips as he studied her, wracking his brains. Despite her protestations there was obviously something more going on, he knew her too well. The only thing he could think of was that for some reason they’d had an argument, a big enough one for Agent Shit-Name to leave her to come on her own. And, considering Jake knew he had told Stella to stay away from him, it must have been pretty serious for him to say he wasn’t coming.

As Jake watched Stella signing her name on the paper the guy behind the desk slid over to her, he saw her give a little smile before she tucked her hair behind her ear. He took a deep breath, shaking himself out of his thoughts and decided that he was going to make her forget about Asshole for a couple of days and enjoy herself. Being the Stel he’d always known and adored.

She nodded and said something to the receptionist before she turned towards Jake, heading over to him and he smiled. “All sorted?”

“Yeah I’m on the 4th floor

“Hey, cool! Same as me and Cougs.”

“Are you guys sharing?” She asked and he shook his head, giving a snort.

“Hell no. The Cougar is on the prowl, apparently. He’s a couple of rooms down.”

“Well I’m in 415.”

“422, Sweetheart.”

“Good to know in case I’m attacked by a spider in the middle of the night.” She grinned and Jake chuckled.

“Well, if you want I’ll do a sweep before you go in.” He looked at her seriously. “I am a highly trained killing machine after all.”

“So am I.”

“Yeah but I ain’t afraid of spiders... well, okay, not the little ones that is.”

Stella laughed. “Course not. But, that aside, I could use your help with my suitcase.”

“You don’t need to ask.” He said gently, picking it up. “I was already gonna bring it.”

She smiled and they made their way to the elevator which by some twist of luck was already on their floor. The door opens and they stepped inside, Stella turning to select their floor.

“Alright, I gotta ask.” Jake spoke and Stella turned to him as he gestured to the large case now by his feet. “You’re here for what, three nights? You bring your whole wardrobe, Stelly?”

She scoffed “I need all three nights’ outfits and daytime clothes as well. Toiletries, make up, underwear...bikinis.” At the last word she shot him a wink and Jake’s head dropped forward, his hands on his hips.

“Stop it.” He groaned playfully and she laughed.

“You don’t wanna hit the pool then, Jakey?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“Why would it be?”

“Well this feels like the part where I’m supposed to make some rude comment only I’m not sure if you’ll laugh or slap me.”

“You’d never know if you don’t say it.”

Jake looked at her, he was utterly confused now and hadn’t got a clue what was going on. He licked his lips, swallowed before he sighed and rubbed his beard. Thankfully, he was saved from responding at all as the elevator stopped, the doors sliding open as they’d reached their floor.

****

Once the slightly awkward but friendly first time introductions to the rest of the guests that the boys had met the day before, Stell felt herself really beginning to relax. She had been on edge since arriving if truth be told, not least because her friends had hit the nail on the head, there was something going on with Evan. But, she didn't want to think about it. Not now. Instead, she settled herself on a sun-lounger, peeling off her little sun-dress to reveal a yellow bikini and Jake flopped onto the one besides her, whipping off his white wife-beater. They talked and laughed and joked. It felt good, just kicking back, not a care in the world. Soft, holiday themed music was playing, the atmosphere was happy, and Stella had a constant supply of cocktails thanks to the team persistently plying her with them.

She must have fallen asleep at one point, as when she turned Jake wasn't there, but it didn't take her long to find him, his distinctive laugh ringing out over the pool area. Stella led back in the sun, glasses covering her face, no one able to see her eyes as she watched him sat on the edge of the pool, one of the bridesmaids next to him, their legs dangling in the water. His broad shoulders and back muscles twitched as he talked with his hands, as usual, emphasising whatever it was he was saying, one large arm reaching up to brush through his short hair. The girl laughed and tipped her head back and Jake grinned before he said something else and stood up. Stella shifted a little as he headed towards her.

"Stel, you want another drink?"

She pulled her glasses down, and peered over them as she smiled up at him. "No, I'm fine JJ thanks."

"Cool, just, you know, ask me if you need anything."

"I’ll be fine Jake." She insisted. "Just enjoy yourself or... whatever."

He gave her a little smile before he turned and walked away. Stella watched him go, and it didn't escape her just how many heads turned in his direction. She took a deep breath then suddenly a shadow blocked her sun. She looked up to see Cougar stood beside her, hands on his hips, bright blue swim shorts and a plain grey tank covering his toned upper body.

"Enjoying the views, Arty?"

She rolled her eyes, then smirked at him as she spotted his ever present headwear. "Even round the pool you’re wearing the hat?" She sat up slightly, nodding towards it.

"Well it keeps the top of my head cool and shelters my eyes from the sun." He shrugged. "And helps maintain my youthful complexion."

"You gonna be wearing it for the wedding?" She grinned as he perched on the lounger next to her, before he led back over the top of Jake's towel, swinging his legs up to recline a little.

"Of course I am." He looked at her like she'd asked a dumbass question. "I’m making a fashion statement, Honey!"

At that she laughed. "Well, I look forward to seeing that!"

"I'll save you a front row seat!"

As the two of them continued to chat, over at a table a little further round the pool, Roque and Clay were sat deep in conversation. Pooch made his way over, flopping down heavily into a seat, shades covering his eyes.

“All right, so someone wanna tell me what happened to Shit-Name?” There was no disguising the bitterness in his tone. He was still pissed over the whole stag-do incident as Stella hadn’t gone, and the blame for that lay firmly at Evan’s feet.  “Not that I care, in fact I’m glad not having to see him around but-“ he nodded to Stella “-well I don’t like her being upset.”

Clay took a deep breath and blew it out harshly. “So, I made some calls. Pulled some strings and…”

“What?” Roque took a pull from his beer and turned towards the Colonel. Clay simply shook his head and Roque rolled his eyes. “Spit it out, Clay.”

“The guy is not on duty this whole week.” Clay looked at him, and then to Pooch who pulled a face.

“The whole week? I thought she was flying in today because he had some work to finish before taking a couple of days off?”

“So did I.” Clay shrugged.

“So what? He’s been lying to stop her coming for more than absolutely necessary?” Roque frowned. “That is fucked up, Clay.”

“I don’t get it though.” Pooch shook his head, a puzzled expression on his face. “Why is he not here? If he’s so hell bent on keeping her away from us, well, specifically Jensen, why the fuck has he let her come on her own?”

“I don’t know.” Clay looked over at Stella before turning back. “But I don’t like it.”

��Don’t like what?”

The three of them turned to see Jensen stood by their table, pushing his shades up his nose a little.

“Your swimming trunks.” Roque was quick to quip. “Pink? Really?”

Jensen grinned “Gracie got me these! Special present for being her coolest Uncle.”

“Yeah, you see she’s six, Jensen.” Clay grinned, taking a drink of his beer. “Her taste is debatable.”

At that Pooch snorted. “And besides, man, you’re her only Uncle! Not like she has anyone else to compare you to.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen shot Pooch a look. “Fine, watch this.” He cleared his throat and looked over the pool area towards Stella. “Yo, Stel!” She glanced at him from where she was sat with Cougar and gestured with her head for him to continue speaking. “What you think of my shorts?” He gave a grin, twirling on the spot with his hands out to his side.

Stella arched a brow as she pulled down her glasses and looked over the top of them at him. “I’ve seen you in worse.” She called before she turned back to Cougar, a slight smile on her face.

Jake grinned and looked back at the men round the table, pointing in her direction. “See, that’s a compliment.”

“Yeah, by worse she means naked.” Pooch snorted. Roque and Clay both burst out laughing and the three of them clinked their beer bottles together.  

“You can all laugh but let’s face it, none of you could pull off this colour.” Jake sniffed.

“Who says you’re pulling it off, Jensen?” Clay arched his eyebrow.

“Well, he’s gonna need to as no one else is gonna pull em off for him.” Roque sniggered.

“Well, actually, Jolene’s cousins have already asked if he was free.” Pooch raised an eyebrow.

“They blind?” Roque shot back as Jensen grinned, ignoring him.

“Really? Which ones?”

“You were sitting with one of them earlier.” Pooch informed him.

“Oh, the red headed chick?” Jensen glanced around, and his eyes once more fell on Stella who was now sat up, turned towards Cougar as they talked about something. He took a deep breath. “Yeah, she’s not really my type. In a bit fellas.” With that he slapped Pooch on the head and wandered over to join Cougar and Stella.

“We cannot tell him about Evan.” Roque stated as Jensen sat down on the sun lounger next to Stella, leaning back a little on his hands.

“Nope." Clay agreed.

“Absolutely not.” Pooch affirmed with a serious nod.

*****

Stella was in her room’s bathroom, leaning over the counter to check her mascara hadn’t left any unwelcome blotch around her eyelashes when there was a loud knock on the door followed by the two softer ones that, ever since they met all those years ago, announced Jake Jensen’s presence. She gave a last glance at her appearance on the mirror, adjusting the thin straps of her pale pink dress to her shoulders, before she went to open the door for him.

“Damn, Stel. You look amazing.”

It was all Jake could express when he recovered from the shock of seeing Stella all dolled up for the first time since what seemed like forever. Maybe the last time being when Jane and Rob got married and they were still together and waiting for their military training to be over. She looked stunning in that outfit and he couldn’t fail but to observe it was Stelly all over. Her pale pink dress was covered in delicate lace flowers and flowed down her curves, the deep v neckline doing nothing but highlighting her gorgeous breasts which Jake so damned well knew and had cherished once upon a time.

Fuck, his mouth was dry…

“Thanks JJ.” Stella chimed, making Jake blink and shake his head. “I need a quick minute…”

As she turned to go finish getting ready he followed her in, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, you’re not gonna say anything about my slacks and this fancy waistcoat I’m wearing.” He asked opening his arms for her to take in his appearance which she did when she turned, looking him up and down. She took in his dark blue plaid tweed waistcoat, matching trousers, along with his pale blue and white striped dress shirt and matching tie and she grinned.

“No jacket?”

“Fuck that shit, Stel its too hot out!” He snorted. “I’m gonna boil to death enough tomorrow in my suit.”

Stella laughed, looking him up and down again before she took a deep breath. “You could almost pass as a grown up, Jake.”

He pouted though he was slightly amused at the comment as it clearly meant her brain had also taken her to the last time they both had worn such elegant outfits, as they had been basically babies then.

“Rude, Stel. You used to like this look on me when we were.... ummm.... did you change your perfume?” Jake suddenly asked in an attempt to change topic after almost sliding dangerously down memory lane.

“No it’s the same it’s been for years.” Stella rolled her eyes at him and turned to rummage in her make up bag.

“Yes. Right….” Jensen replied somewhat awkwardly but relieved she was busy with something else. “So Cougs is coming down with us, he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” She said as she finished putting her lip-gloss on before grabbing her sandals and sitting on her bed. “So like, is there a huge group of us tonight then?”

Jake stood there, his brain having a hard registering Stella’s question, his hands on his trouser pockets as he bounced on the balls of his feet and blushed furiously because, from where he was stood,  as Stella was bent over doing her sandals up, he could see right down her dress and the line of her breasts. But when he finally did realise she’d spoken, he swallowed hard and tried to play it as cool as possible.

“I guess pretty much everyone invited who’s here already, it is a rehearsal dinner after all. Hey, did you know Clay’s chick is landing tomorrow morning?”

“Tomorrow morning? Stella frowned. “Cutting it a bit fine, isn’t it?” She asked standing up and readjusting her dress.

“Well, better late than never.” Jake muttered, more to himself than anything but Stella had clearly heard it as she was glaring at him.

“Don’t start.”

“Sorry, my bad.” Jensen raised the palms of his hands in surrender. But before he could continue apologizing there was another knock on the door. “That will be Cougs.” Jake took a hasty retreat as he went to open the door to Cougar who raised an eyebrow on seeing his friend’s flustered expression.

“Don’t look at me like that, Cougar.”

“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Jensen?” Cougar whispered but then his eyes landed on Stella who was coming towards them and looked at Jensen again as he mouthed. “Wow.”

On an impulse Jake dug him in the ribs with his elbow which made Cougar shove him hard on the shoulder in turn just before Stella stopped by their side and looked at them. “What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Playing tag.” Jensen blurted out.

Stella narrowed her eyes at him just as Cougar looked at him wondering what the fuck Jensen was dragging him into. Jensen gave him a look and Cougar rolled his eyes.

“I told him he’s buying the first round tonight and the jerk said he wouldn’t.” He turned to Stella, trying not to sound too eager or false.

Stella shrugged. “What else is new?”

“Hey, I’m not paying ‘cause it’s a free bar. All the rounds are on Pooch and future Mrs Pooch.” Jensen nodded lightly at Coug, rolling with it.

Stella grinned as they step out of the room and she shut the door. “Well boys, ” she linked her arms into theirs as they were at either side of her, “in that case let’s see how drunk we can go get for free.”

Jakey and Cougar both cheered loudly at the idea and she laughed heartily.

“And you’re walking into the party escorted by two of the most eligible bachelors in this resort, Sweetheart.” Jensen added cheekily.

“Yeah?” She asked as she called the lift and Jensen saw her eyes shine with mischief before speaking again. “You taking me to meet them? Are they downstairs?”

Cougar snorted but Jake wasn’t gonna let it die there. That was the playful Stella he so adored, his Stelly. They could go on at this type of banter for hours if they were in the mood.

“Face facts, I am desirable as Pooch told me before. Bridesmaids already asking for my number. How many asked for your number, Cougs?”

Cougar just smirked and tip the brim of his hat. “They only need my room number, you loser.”

At that Stella let out a huge laugh and the elevator arrived so she stepped in followed by Cougar, Jake behind them.

“Okay, yeah. I’ll give you that one.” Jensen admitted as the elevator doors closed and they headed down.

***

When they got to the big room where the rehearsal party was taking place, the bride and groom were already there greeting all their guests and Stella was immediately introduced to everyone in Jolene’s extended family who hadn’t been at the pool earlier that day. The drinks and conversations were flowing when the wedding planner, a woman with a thick Mexican accent, announced dinner was being served in a few minutes and politely asked them all to find their seats.

The Losers were set to share a table with Pooch’s brother and his girlfriend and a couple of Jolene’s bridesmaids who happened to be her cousins too. The food was delicious and by the time dessert had been served, Stel could swear her dress had shrunk in size but she was damned if she was going to say no to those sinful Tamales. The chocolate on her taste buds, together with all the tequila and cocktails they had consumed during the meal had her in good spirits. She could honestly say she was having a great time and was enjoying herself, only one thing casting a shadow over her jolly mood.

Jolene’s cousin Shanice, secretly renamed by Stella as Corpse Bridesmaid, who was sitting at Jake’s other side, insisted on flirting shamelessly with him, to the point it was embarrassing. So, when her piercing laughter at some of Jake’s shitty quips got everyone at their table startled, Stella shared a glance with Cougar who was sat at her other side and excused herself. Instead of going to the ladies restroom, she went outside, deciding some fresh air would do her good. She wandered out onto the beach a little and sat down breathing in deeply,  taking in the peacefulness of the sea in front of her.

Her head was swimming but not just from alcohol. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but it was jealousy. She was jealous of Jake and Corpse Bridesmaid when she wasn’t supposed to be. Right? She wasn’t supposed to be and she didn’t like the feeling either.

And then there was Evan. She knew he was lying about having to work. He’d just used that as an excuse not to come to cover up the real core of the issue. Although he still insisted he was stuck at the office she knew he didn’t have to be there, and that evening, when they had talked on the phone, he had been cold and curt, their conversation mainly made of void questions and monosyllabic answers. Stella breathed in shakily at the memory of that conversation and pulled her phone out for the umpteenth time that night. No messages, no missed calls. Nothing. She sighed and chucked it back on her purse hastily.

“A watched phone never rings, Arty”

She hadn’t heard him approach, absorbed as she was in her own thoughts, but she made no effort to turn around as Cougar was already sitting on the sand next to her.

“Any luck with the blonde bridesmaid, Cougs?” She asked with a soft smile. “Maybe she’s the type that calls.”

“I told you before, I don’t need her to call, just knock.” He joked before turning his head to look at her, studying her features. “What’s going on Arty?”

“Nothing Cougs, just getting a little lightheaded in there.” Stella explained as she nodded her head towards the muffled voices of the party inside.

Cougar nodded. “And I’m assuming it’s not only because of the drinks.”

Stella didn’t reply, she simply looked away not trusting herself to say anything without her voice breaking.

“You know I won’t tell anyone, right? Especially not Jensen.”

Stella sighed and lowered her head as her hands fiddled with the flowers of her dress.  “I don’t believe Ev is working. I think he was making excuses not to come.” She finally spoke, before lifting her eyes to meet Cougar’s.

“And why would he be making excuses not to come with you?” Cougar frowned. “I thought he always wanted to spend time with you. That’s why you haven’t been hanging out with us so much anymore, huh?”

Stella raised her eyebrows. “He does. We kinda had an argument about it, well, not really an argument just a discussion about him crowding me and stuff, how he acts about Jake and you guys... and he admitted he was a little full on but said it was because he loved me.”

“Oh, so he threw the big L word there. That’s good, right?” Cougar asked, looking at her confused and a bit concerned as she had looked somehow embarrassed to admit Evan had said he loved her.

Stella looked at him. “Not really Cougs, because when he said it I was paralyzed and then realized I couldn’t say it back.”

“Oh.” He grimaced. “That’s not so good.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “You don’t love him?”

Stella shrugged, feeling calmer now, almost relieved she had finally got it off her chest and shared it with someone. “I thought I was sorta getting there you know, told myself it would happen in time but we’re almost six months in now. And each week I can’t see beyond the next, there’s no long term view there for me, Cougs and…”

“That’s a hard no disguised as a not yet, Arty.” He observed when he noticed Stella was trailing off. And she didn’t reply but looked at the sand instead as there wasn’t really a suitable response to that, least of all because he was right, she knew that much.

“Come here.” Cougar sighed, waving his hand for her to get closer before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “What you gonna do about it?”

“Finish it I suppose. That’s the right thing to do isn’t it?” She answered as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess it’s certainly the most sensible thing to do, anyway.”

“Well I’m a very sensible person.” Stella chuckled causing Cougar to snort.

“You spent years dating Jensen, I beg to differ.”

“Not my most sensible time.” She quipped.

Cougar laughed, shaking his head in agreement, and when he looked down to watch her he saw she was looking at the sand again, only this time she was smiling as she was clearly remembering something about the time he spent with Jake.

“He still loves you, you know? Jensen I mean.”

Stella’s eyes darted up at him and she scoffed. “You’re insane, Coug? You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Oh I know exactly what I’m saying. And more so you know it’s true.” Cougar stated as he tipped the brim of his hat and winked at her.

****

“Fuck, no, no more!” Jensen waved his hand as Roque grinned widely and held his hands up cheering loudly as Jensen grimaced. Both men had spent the last thirty five minutes doing shots while being cheered, as could not be otherwise, by Corpse Bridesmaid.

“All right, all right, you win Roque. I’m out.” Jensen admitted defeat as he turned around, scanning the dance floor. He frowned when he realized he couldn’t spot Stella, granted he was a bit drunk but he really couldn’t see her anywhere in the room. So he stood up from his seat and blinked twice as everything was a little hazy.

“Hey Clay, you seen Stel?” He asked when he finally steadied himself, brushing his hand through his hair before he pushed his glasses back up his nose. They’d gotten a little too close to falling off whilst he’d been doing those damned shots.

“Nope, it’s been a while since I last saw her.” Clay replied, glancing up at him from where he was sat on his spot at their table talking to Pooch’s brother.

“She went outside a while back. Didn’t say goodbye so I assumed she was coming back but…” Jolene, who had come searching for her cousin, offered but then someone Jensen couldn’t quite place tapped her shoulder so she turned round to talk to them and they left together a few seconds later, leaving him a little puzzled, without answers.

“Okay, I’ll go find her myself. You guys are useless.” He sniffed as he loosened his tie and turned to leave.

Clay rolled his eyes and looked at Roque who shook his head and snorted. “Whatever Jensen, just keep an eye on that tie. Too loose and you’ll lose it.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Jensen.” Clay warned him, earning a frown from Pooch’s brother and causing Jensen to stop in his tracks.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” He asked, turning to look at Clay.

“It means you’ve drunk a lot with Roque and she’s got a boyfriend who is clearly making her upset.”

“I’m fine I…” Jensen began to protest but he immediately paused as Clay’s words registered. “Hang on, what do you mean Shit-Name is making her upset?” He frowned as Clay groaned, realizing he had said too much “Do you know something?”

“Well he’s not here, isn’t he? That should be enough.” Clay tried to brush it off.

Jensen looked at him for a moment before he turned and left the room, contemplating what Clay had just said. Despite the colonel’s attempt to brush it off as an innocent comment, he had once more raised the point that Shit-Name wasn’t here, and none of them really knew why. There was also the fact that Stella had been uncharacteristically flirty with Jake that day, more than their usual good natured quips…was it possible they had split up? But, if they had, surely she would have told him right? But then again, maybe she wouldn’t have told him, not wanting to cloud Pooch’s big weekend with her issues?

The thought was enough to make Jake grin, but the grin disappeared as fast as it had come and he couldn’t help but groan at this train of thought. Nothing would make him happier than that dick to be gone for good but he also didn’t want Stella to be upset and heartbroken. That was part of the reason that, despite his vow on New Years’ Eve to Clay in his parent’s dining room about fighting for her, he’d really tried to behave. He’d watched as her and Evan had gone from, what appeared to be, strength to strength, and, if he had to be honest, he was just grateful they were on good terms and wouldn’t want to jinx his recently fixed friendship with his Stelly for all the gold in the world. Plus, he just wanted her to be happy, she deserved that at least.  And, until now, he thought that Agent Shit-Name was making her so…

All those noisy thoughts were clouding his alcohol intoxicated head when he finally made it outside after a quick stop at the restroom. As soon as Jensen’s feet landed on the soft beach sand, he spotted Stella in the distance but she wasn’t alone as Cougar was sitting next to her on the sand with his arm round her.

“What the fuck, Cougs?” He whispered to himself, his jaw twitching a little. “Seriously, you’re going there?”

Both figures wheeled round and looked at him as he drew closer, his constant groans about tripping over on the sand alerting them to his presence. And when they did turn, Jake could see Stella had been crying.

“Stel, what’s going on?” He asked her softly.

Stella hastily wiped her tears and sniffed before speaking. “Nothing, I’m fine. It’s just….” She trailed off as she looked at Cougar with pleading eyes.

“I was telling her stories of my childhood here in Mexico.”  Cougar looked at Jake.

“Yeah…” Stella nodded eagerly. “… and it just got me thinking a bit of dad and stuff.”

Jensen glared at Cougar as he squatted beside them both, not for a minute believing the bullshit he had come up with, but then Cougar shot him a look and shook his head gently. Jensen’s frown deepened a little, before he looked at Stella who was now watching the ocean again. He knew she was lying, she had been lying about Evan and about them being fine since she had landed in Mexico that morning, but he also knew now, from Cougs, it wasn’t what his tequila mushed brain had thought some minutes earlier.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed all that to the back of his mind and fixed a smile on his face.

“Well, Stelly, I think the only thing to do here is come dance your sorrows away.” He tried to lighten the mood up a bit as he knew his Stelly had always loved dancing.

She looked at him like he was a moron before she burst out laughing and he shot her a cheeky grin.

“Yasss, come on, Sweetheart.” He pressed as he stood up, helping her up in the process and once they both were standing on their feet Jensen turned around and bent a little. “Jump up! We’re going dancing.”

“You’re not carrying me, moron!” She shook her head as he turned to look at her. “And it’s just one. I had an early morning and I need some rest.” She bent slightly, brushing the sand off her dress, giving Jensen another front row view of her cleavage line and without even looking at him, he nudged Cougar to stop him staring, sending the man sprawling over onto the sand, a string of Mexican expletives escaping his mouth.

“That’s my Stelly.” Jake grinned and she took his hand as she put her sandals back on before Jensen dipped and slung her over his shoulder.

“JJ put me down you ass!” Stella squealed.

“No can do Stel, don’t trust you not to run.” He said amidst laughter.

“Don’t mind me…” Cougar quipped as he remained sprawled on the sand.

“We won’t.” Jensen shot back as he strode up the beach to the bar with Stella over his shoulder, laughing as she slapped his back.

“Jake my boobs are gonna fall out of my dress!” She shouted, slapping his back harder once they were almost reaching the sliding doors that led to the room where the party after the dinner was now in full swing.

“I see no issue with that.”

“God, you’re a dick!” Stella scoffed and Jensen chuckled, eventually putting her down on the bar and looking at her chest. “Hey, my face is up here.”

“I was just… erm…” Jensen gave a goofy smile as he made a grabbing hand gesture in front of her boobs “…checking the twins are still in place and you’re good.”

Stella rolled her eyes at him as she rearranged her dress. “Pervert.”

All in all, and as Jensen had expected, Stella stayed for a little more than one song as she was letting herself go and forget everything. The pair of them just enjoyed themselves, and it was almost as if no time at all had passed, and they were still at some sort of crummy, homecoming or end of year dance at their school’s over decorated sports hall.

Just as they were winding down a rather energetic dance to some form of Nineties dance song, the name of which, Jensen had no idea, Pooch cut the music and stepped up to thank everyone for coming, before he started talking rather drunken and lovingly about Jolene. As Roque and Clay began to heckle, telling him to save the mushy ‘I love yous’ for tomorrow, Stella zoned out a little, thinking about what Cougar had said earlier at the beach. If she was honest, whilst she’d been able to push it away for large chunks of time as she’d been dancing, it had been in the back of her mind all night. Because Cougar had hit the nail on the head, she didn’t love Evan, she didn’t think she ever would, and she couldn’t keep fooling herself. She needed to finish it.

Almost as if he had read her mind, she felt Jake gently take her hand and give it a squeeze and that was it. It all became too much to handle again, and she turned to him giving him a shy smile.

“I’m gonna go Jake, I really am tired.”

Just as she had anticipated, he tried to get her to stay but she refused, declining his offer to walk her back up to her room. She kissed his cheek softly, gave him a smile, and headed off to say goodnight to everyone.

***** Jensen watched her go before dropping his head in defeat. He took a deep sigh, hands on his hips, before Cougar appeared at his side, thrusting a beer he hadn’t even asked for into his hand.

“Thanks.” Jensen whispered, taking a large swig as he studied Cougar. “So what really happened at the beach?”

Cougar hesitated, looking for the best way to give his friend a comforting answer without betraying Stella’s confidence, and it was proving a really difficult task. “She… umm, she told me Evan had said he loved her.” He answered a second or two later, hesitantly.

“What?” Jensen asked, swallowing hard. His beer suddenly felt a bit sandy.

“She didn’t say much more but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions how the whole thing went from how she’s been and the fact he isn’t here.” Cougar shrugged.

Jensen glared at him before taking another sip of his drink. He couldn’t think clearly, it wasn’t time for mind riddles and someone had definitely added that fucking sticky beach sand to his beer, plus, now he was pissed and his mind started spiralling.

Fucking Shit-Name dropping the fucking L word!

But then again, how could he not love her? It was impossible once you knew Stella, and he should know, he had tried it.

And what the fuck? Why hadn’t she told him when he had asked, instead of avoiding the topic all day long and then telling Cougar instead?

And yeah, Cougar could fuck off as well. With a final glare at him, he thrust his beer bottle back into Cougar’s hand and left without as much as a goodbye word.

What might seem common, rational sense to everyone else was never that common or sensible in Jake Jensen’s fucked up mind, least of all when it came down to Stella Stevenson. So, as he headed back to his room and passed hers on his way he stopped and turned back, making her way to her door. He stepped forward, ready to knock, but he dropped his knuckle when it was still mid-air and with a shake of his head and a heavy sigh he carried on.

And now he was also pissed at himself. Great.

******

Chapter 7 Part 2

[benhardypout-archive]

004. thank you, alex

a/n: so this is one of my Wonty "comfort fics" - so it's far from canon or never followed the original plot - which i would probably never publish (unless there's one i would like to share), but this time in this fic which i titled "Dirty Little Secret", I'm just going to post some chapters which I enjoyed writing. So the number is the chapter of this fic, and this is the chapter 4, hence, 004. Enjoy reading! 🙈

Perhaps, my crush on Monty was getting out of hand.

I flipped through the Liberty yearbook which Tyler lent me only to feast my eyes over the photos of the guy in Jersey no. 32 through the weekend, as I sat on the floor with my back against the bed.

Montgomery de la Cruz, I chanted in my head, reading his name printed in bold letters.

I stopped by a certain picture of his, running my fingers over the glossy paper, tracing his face. Tyler was lucky to have taken this rare shot of him smiling beautifully like this; those white teeth showing. He was leaning back and wearing a blue tank top. For once, he looked really happy…

I should probably ask Tyler the story behind this shot.

My phone rang a message.

I,  mindlessly, searched for it, not keeping my eyes away from the image. I could feel my heart expanding by this simple picture of him.

Bringing my phone to my face, there’s a  message from Alex: U free this afternoon?

Basically, I'm free for the whole day.

I typed a quick reply: Yes.

And not long after, Alex texted back asking us to meet up at this mall, only a five minute drive.

I wonder if this hang out thing meant anything or just platonic. Anyway, Alex seemed nice. I would love to get to know him more and perhaps get acquainted.

Looking back to the yearbook, I'm so tempted to cut the picture. Or maybe I could just ask Tyler just give me this specific yearbook, like a gift.

* * *

Alex took me bowling. And I'm not so good with the game but so far I'm having fun.

"You're so good at this," I said as Alex hit another strike.

He smiled. "Nah."

"Now, don't be modest on me," I chuckled lightly and took a bowling ball from the rack and positioned it on my hand, adjusting to its weight. Walking by the lane, I put on a stance and ran my tongue over my lower lip, aiming for a strike. Not that I'm expecting to hit one, which of course didn't happen. I looked at Alex, throwing my hands in defeat. "No, not good at this."

Alex went to hit next and of course, another strike. He raises both his arms dramatically and spun around facing me, smiling victoriously, cocking a brow.

"I give up!" I chuckled and sat down by the bench.

"You're named Winston for a reason," Alex commented, sitting beside me.

"What does that mean?"

"Winston, like Winner. Root word, win."

I laughed, throwing my head back a little. "Damn. I think I'm not doing my name justice, then."

"Practice makes perfect."

"Let's just eat. I'm starving."

"Sure."

We walked aimlessly along the mall in silence, with a few side comments about the boutiques or the shops we passed on. Then we saw and spotted some familiar faces. Well, Alex introduced me to some of them, simply pointing from afar and telling their names, since I barely knew anyone from Liberty yet, who also worked here.

Then my stomach decided to embarrass me and did a growl as we reached the food court.

“Someone’s whining,” Alex retorted.

“I know right.”

Since it’s the afternoon, there’s a lot of tables to choose from, not to mention, stalls without queues. A lot of options for us. But we just settled on some corn dogs.

"We should see some movie some time," Alex suggested. "How about tomorrow?"

"Oh, okay." I thought back if I had plans. Is looking at pictures of Monty in the yearbook counted as one?

He smiled and told me the time and rendezvous. And then added, "I-it's a date,"

I blinked. "A d-date?"

"I meant friendly date," he quickly clarified, faking a smile. I could see dejection in his eyes.

I wanted to apologize but perhaps I’m just overthinking the situation and putting meaning on how Alex was acting the past days. I may try to brush it off and act like I’m not noticing anything, but it’s there. Yet, he said so himself ‘friendly date’, maybe he really just meant us to be friendly.

"So you like someone else?" Alex asked after a moment which of course caught me off guard. I should’ve expected that question to come. I almost coughed my Coke out. Good thing, I had swallowed it down. My heart began to skip.

Should I tell him?

I avoided his gaze, and took another sip on my drink. "Uhm… yes," I said in a low voice.

"Oh…. right. Of course."

"Alex-"

"I-I'm just asking," Alex cut me off. Though, I’m afraid I’m already ruining this budding friendship and it’s the last thing I wanted. But, if he ever decides and calls off our little friendly movie date, I'd understand.

"I… Maybe I just need some company," he went on, resting his arms on the table as if for comfort. "And I… I actually like Zach," he glanced at me.

Zach. Oh. I know him.

"I kissed him," he murmured so low I almost didn’t catch it. Then he snorted, lightly. "But… of course he said he's straight."

"I'm sorry," I said in empathy. I wanted to reach for his hands but then decided against it. Then a scenario flashed in my head where I kissed Monty and then he said the same thing-- Ouch!

"It's all right. Thanks for going out with me, and listening." Alex interrupted, saving me from my disastrous thoughts.

I nodded. But then... he asked the question I’m shit scared to answer.

"May I ask who you like?"

Fuck...

I shifted on my seat. "Oh… uhm…It's..." I looked at him, warily. He was indifferent… yet. Wait till you hear this.

With a deep shaky breath I say, "Monty."

* * *

No words had been spoken since, besides the sensational "What the… fuck?" reaction from Alex who wavered before saying the word. And an awkward "Yep" from me, popping the 'p'.

We just went to our own cars and left after.

I'm sure Alex hated me now, or worse, despised me.

I knew it.

Maybe liking Monty would make you lose some friends-- lose some potential friends, rather. We're not even friends.

Was that what Monty meant when he said I got no friends here, as his own experience? Because people didn't like him?

I received a text from Alex later that night, apologizing from how he reacted. Which relieved me a hundred fold. And then he added…

Alex: But… Monty? I just can't believe it! And I think he's as straight as a ruler.

Winston: It's all right. Still a plastic ruler can be bent.

Alex: Correction. Wooden ruler. It just breaks in half, and he'll just break you.

Okay, I couldn't argue with that.

Winston: I guess. But could you keep a promise not to tell anyone?

Alex: Ok

Winston: Thanks.

Alex: So tomorrow. Same time. Same place. And move on from Monty. There's far better guys than that asshole.

Hope it's  that easy…

* * *

I'm glad that Alex didn't change towards me. He still smiled and spoke to me as if I didn't tell him something, which he found horrible.

After buying two movie tickets, we went to the snack bar to buy some popcorn.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me." I heard Alex mutter under his breath, causing me to turn and follow his gaze, only for my world to stop, seeing Monty by the entrance.

I forgot the ability to move until Alex nudged me. I blinked and turned to him. He has this amused smile.

"Seriously, Winston, close your fucking mouth. Some fly would literally rent in there."

I blushed, and sneaked another glance at Monty, longer than necessary, then to the other jocks he’s with. They’re standing by the ticket booth. I shifted closer to Alex and poked his side. "Zach's among them."

"I know. I hate it." Alex then stepped forward as it's our turn. "Two medium-sized popcorn please. Plain... And two cokes?" He told the guy behind the counter and turned to me.

"Coke," I confirmed.

And he went on ordering. But half of my attention was on the noise from the jocks. God… I couldn't believe I would see Monty here.

Oh, fuck.

I desperately searched for any mirror or any surface where I could see my reflection and fixed my hair as I saw them making their way towards us!!!

"Hi, Alex." Zach said beside me. I, discreetly, give Alex another nudge.

Alex barely glanced. "Hi."

"Zachy, I'm gonna have these Hot Tamales," Monty announced, tapping his fingers on the glass display counters, pointing over the Hot Tamales candy bars wrapped in red.

He caught my gaze and it was too late to retrieve my eyes back. So, I threw a soft smile at him, hoping I wasn’t too obvious about my loud attraction.

"Hey, Winston. You and Alex on a date?" he asked instead, and I swore I felt blood rush through my cheeks.

"N-no," I shook my head at once.

"What about you and Zach, Monty? You guys on a date?" Alex cuts in.

"Yeah. Actually it's the four of us, Scott and Charlie."

Scott and Charlie smiled and waved, making Alex roll his eyes.

Zach cleared his throat and looked at Alex. I guessed that maybe he wanted to speak to him… alone, so being a good friend as I am, I stepped aside and took the chance to stand beside Monty. But I made sure to be discreet and just tapped my fingers against the counter, my eyes fixated at the menu posted in front.

Zach whispered something to Alex and I could only catch a few words like 'mad' and 'me', giving me enough hint of what he's saying.

I tensed feeling Monty moved closer to me. "Never thought I'd see you here."

I blushed and glanced at him. "Yeah. Small world."

Then he asked me if we’re going to watch the same movie. A horror one.

“I think we should just sit together, then." Monty suggested, glancing over to Zach and Alex. "Especially, it looks like Zach and Alex have something to talk about."

I chuckled, "Sure." Would love to sit next to you.

"Winston," I heard Alex called and saw that our popcorn was ready. I took one last glance at Monty and uttered a "See you later," before making my way back to Alex.

"What did Zach tell you?" I whispered as we made our way inside the cinema.

"He wants to talk. I said yes."

I just hummed.

"Dammit, Winston. I still like him and I hate it," Alex whined a moment later, making me smile.

We took the seat in the middle section, since it's not too far and not too close, and we could watch properly. Different trailers were being shown and I noticed that there were only a few cinema-goers or maybe only few wanted to see this movie.

Later, I spotted Monty and the group inside looking for a seat, so I gave a secret wave at them, specifically, at Monty. He called his friends after he saw me. Then they made their way to us. I hid a smile. My heart wouldn't shut up about it, and it literally wanted to jump off my chest when Monty took the seat next to me.

Calm down, Winston. I’m afraid he could hear it from here, screaming his name.

Zach tried and asked Alex if he could sit beside him, only receiving a nod from Alex. But I could practically read his mind regretting taking the middle seats, when we could just take the space on either right or left wing, and have all the spaces on our own.

"Are you following me?" I heard Alex mumble to Zach.

"No. I… Monty pointed us here and…maybe I did, by deciding to sit next to you," Zach admitted.

I decided and just diverted my attention to Monty and his Hot Tamales. "Does that taste good?"

"You wanna taste?" He gestured one to my direction. I swallowed, not expecting his sudden offer. Or maybe it's because his shoulder brushed against mine.

"N-no. Thanks."

"Come on," Monty began tearing one package open and handed it to me, "Have some."

I glanced at him and reluctantly reached, staring intently at his hand, tempting to hold it.

"No, don't taste that." One of the jocks interrupted. I stopped. "You will get addicted," he added, grinning.

"Oh, fuck off, Charlie," Monty waved. "Come on. Gimme your hand."

"You're not trying to poison me, are you?" I tried to joke.

And I blushed seeing his boyish smile. "Oh no. It's a love potion," he winked.

Now that sent me. If I happen to be an ice, I've melted by now.

You don't need to give me any love potion, Monty. I wanted to say.

With a trembling hand, I held my palm out and he poured some on it. I uttered a thanks and put everything in my mouth, letting it melt in my tongue.

Charlie was right, it's kind of addicting.

"So?"

"I think I'm in love," I blurted, not breaking eye contact.

He looked away.

Oh no! Wrong move, Winston.

"I mean your friend's right. It's addicting."

He turned back to me and smiled. "I know right." He, then, handed me the Hot Tamales. “Here, have it.”

It would be a shame to take his offer down, so I just took it, our fingers brushing; enough to send electricity down my body. I wondered if he felt it too.

Wishful thinking, Winston.

"Why are you taking Monty's food? It might be contaminated," Alex whispered.

I shrugged him off and offered it to him. "You should try."

"No thanks."

I couldn't help but find Alex's distaste towards Monty, funny. Even though I shouldn't. But I'm afraid I might continue teasing him about it.

The movie finally started. And it's supposed to be scary as it's a horror film. But I'm not a bit scared. However, I'm tempted to hold Monty's hand that was on the armrest between us. But more tempted to pull the armrest up and just lean onto him. Maybe act scared?

As he took his hand away to get some popcorn - since I decided to share my popcorn with him and his friends, who I now know the names of: Charlie and Scott - I, sneakily, placed my hand on the armrest in hopes to be held by him.

Sadly, after he took a handful of popcorn he didn't put his hand back, but my hand stayed where it was. And I just forgot all my attempts on flirting.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed.

And I tensed not because the scene was scary but because his hand, finally, landed on mine. I hid a smile. And when I thought he would notice and take it away, he didn't, and just stayed there. Though, I wasn't sure if he was ever aware of our hands, or he's too focused on the movie to even notice.

My heart pounded so loud, I could barely hear the show, and could hardly concentrate on it, blocking everything around me but only his presence. I’m only aware of the warmth and the weight of his hand on mine, making my throat dry. I just dreamt of kissing him, or simply lean on him, and embrace more of his scent.

Ugh! Shut it, Winston. Try and hold yourself together.

But how, when he’s close like this? Needless to say, his hand on mine?

The movie just ended without me really understanding everything that happened.

Monty made some comments about it, asking me some of it as soon as we got out to the lobby. I just nodded along, agreeing with everything he said. But Charlie argued with him and they went on, leaving me completely clueless, even though we all watched it together. I should've tried and focused on the show, so I could have a proper conversation with him. But until now, the heat of his hand pricked on my skin.

"Winston," Alex called, and began to walk. I hesitated and followed him outside, not giving me the chance to say goodbye to Monty and his friends.

"Are you alright on your own?" he asked

I frowned, blinking once. "Y-yeah."

"I need to go with Zach," he glanced at Zach, who’s busy chatting or probably saying parting words with his buddies, and rolled his eyes back to me. "Said he wants to talk."

"Oh. Sure."

"Again, beware of Monty. Don't be fooled by his good looks."

"So, you admit he looks good."

Alex stammered but soon gave up, sighing. "Whatever Winston. Don't say, I didn't warn you."

"Okay. Have fun with Zach." I gave his shoulder a pat. "And thanks for inviting me. I really had fun," I smiled.

Alex had to roll his eyes again. "I think I know why."

[onyourzeus]

11:48 am | pjh

title: 11:48am pairing: park jaehyung (of day6) & you genre: fluff, bullet style words: 2.1k

author’s note: mmm i’m kind of meh about this but i jus really needed to write so i don’t lose motivation, but this is just a short fic requested by this anon asking for a lazy day scenario with jae. hope it’s still an okay read.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

once you receive a specific text from jae on a regular day

“whatchu doinnnn” 

you know he’s wondering if you’re not busy, and if you come hang out at his place

which, for the majority of the time, you always tell him “not much. y?”

even though you’re 99% sure of what he wants out of you

you have already made your way to a coffee shop before he had replied 

“same. wanna do nothing together? :)”

so u get two coffees: one americano and one vanilla latte (as much as you want to cut down calories here, there is no way you can drink just water and espresso by itself

you decide on getting two sandwiches as well, it’s close to noon and there’s a high probability that jae just woke up and he hasn’t even moved from the bed

you’re lowkey happy that jae texts you first (assumingly) during days like this because, honestly you miss the 6 foot lanky nerdy soft boy a lot

jae has a habit of keeping to himself during his downtime, especially now 

but with him streaming and having new friends through the platform has helped him socialize and feel a sense of normalcy from the world, which you are really glad for 

he’s mentioned how much he misses doing band activities but doesn’t really elaborate on them

he think he talks about it too much and that you wouldn’t want to hear his repetitive whining

you don’t have the needed bravery in your heart (yet) to tell him you will never get bored or feel burdened by his thoughts, no matter what they entail

so for now, when he asks of your presence in his lovely abode— you make time for him. always. 

even if it’s just a lazy day of doing nothing

you knock on his door and text him at the same time. you look around his neighborhood and enjoy the peace and quiet outside. you wonder if jae’s soundproof walls work well enough for his next door neighbors this time. you had told him multiple times that sungjin wouldn’t appreciate the noise too much, and he if he wanted to play he can do so at your place 

however you never suggested that last thought. it swam in the sea of your thoughts one too many times but it never came to shore. you thought too much about the implications of that idea

besides, what good came out of reminding him of his streamer noises is that he finally has an apartment of his own

and you don’t feel as shy or out of place whenever you came over to the one he shared with the boys 

“oh hey, wasn’t expecting you,” jae had opened the door and you snap out of your wondering

he greets you with drowsy eyes, a full yawn and long strands of hair sticking out everywhere 

you huff out a breath and show the goods in your hands. “you’re definitely gonna need this.”

his eyes light up as he recognizes the contents of the paper bag

“whaaaat you shouldn’t have, i was about to order for delivery,” he tries for an innocent tone but the goofy smile on his face makes that extra trip to the cafe worth it

“you’re welcome, jae.”

lazy days with jae come in two ways

number one: absolutely the title. you crash on the bed, he scolds you for it but then you feel his crushing weight on top of you for revenge or

you hog the couch, splay your legs until jae does the same thing and entangles all your limbs together it becomes a semi wrestling match

number two: he’d end up wanting to do something all this time, either jam on his guitar or play WoW with you in the background, just watching

commenting on things you have 0 knowledge about, and him dismissing every words you say with a random scream from his end

“you’re so bad at this lmao”

“NONONO STOPSTOPSTOP NONONO”

“is the riff supposed to sound like that? ew” 

“you want your face to meet my guitar? :)” 

yeah, banter between you can be brutal like this which is why it gets a little embarrassing to be your true self with him when the others are involved 

today, jae seems to just enjoy sipping on his iced coffee while tippy tapping on the floor to sit next to you on the couch

??? how can a grown man do something puppies so effortlessly pull out… just as cute if not even better??? 

usually, silence isn’t how the two of you spend lazy days together. once he’s thought of a topic to talk about, however out of this world or mundane it could be— the conversations you share are what you cherish the most bonding with jae

“you ever think about the first piece of a roll of sliced bread?”

“you mean the weird looking pieces no one ever chooses first and leaves it there until there’s none of the good slices left?”

“the very one” “what about it?”

“you’re that slice of bread”

“well yeah? jokes on you, you’re the OTHER piece. there’s two in a pack dumbass” 

one would mistake this as insulting, but this is how jae shows his affection to you, and you wouldn’t want it any other way

there’s a certain comfort in just.. not deliberating whether you’d overstep a line or say something that would be misconstrued. with jae, you appreciate the candid friendship you mutually benefit from

his sarcastic personality can be a pain at times when not needed, of course, but when you’ve missed him so much it just feels right

“jae your legs are too long for the couch get a new one.” he had taken over the other end of the couch with his legs over yours, and you’re trying your best to make the position comfortable

but being inches close to his socks and noticing that he’s intentionally moving his feet about just to annoy you

“you get me a new couch so we both fit here”

“bro do you know how empty my wallet is rn” 

“as empty as your love life?”

“oh we’re talking about ourselves right now? ok cool”

he scoffs at your comeback, but he remains speechless and gives you room to breathe. you panic for a second thinking maybe, this is the unexplained boundary he has to draw a line on? love? 

but he puts down his already finished americano, and looks back at you a deadpan expression

you sit up as well, nerves creeping up on your arm. you didn’t want to take it too far and in your defense, this isn’t the first time you teased each other about your, well, non-existent romantic endeavors

“jae, i—”

“oh my god did you see your face?? i was kidding chilllll” he starts to burst into a fit of laughter, the kind where he loses air and lolls his head back 

this time you pout, reaching over to flick him on the forehead. his 6th sense had improved a lot overtime being with you as he blocks your hand away from his face, and sticks a tongue out

“you think i wasn’t prepared for that anymore?” he taunt, locking his grip around your wrist

“now you’re just making fun of me” >:(

“you get really puffy cheeks and look adorable when you’re mad” 

“THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON!!”

eventually he lets you go, pats your head then proceeds to just ruffle it as messy as his, and in an instant your mood changes again

you shouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you love jae’s company and it would kill you if he’d one day decide he’s too old or too “mature” for moments like this

you get winded up with denial of having a crush on your best friend, and you’re so sure he knows at this point

because he reels you back into the present and challenges you to a game os super smash bros

and when he loses, he does it again. and you win again, and this time he says it was just a warm-up and he shouldn’t go easy on you anymore

and then you win again, and you’re the one cackling in the air at his look of defeat as well as the 6 losses he had endured during the matches

“man you’re getting rusty”

“am not! i’ve just been playing WoW too much i’m not used to switch controls anymore…”

“sure buddy”

“HEY, 1v1 me in league right now, i dare you”

“no”

“WHY?”

“you only have one desktop, stupid. i didn’t bring my laptop”

“oh so by default I win :D”

nothing can ever get away with jae, he always needs to have the last laugh with you and at times it’s frustrating, but his carefree charisma has grown on you so much that you anticipate what else he has in store to give you a hard time 

jokes on him, you fall for jae just an inch deeper the more he treats you comfortably this way 

it’s only been an hour or two, but jae had decided that he’s done enough productive stuff for the day (read: losing too many times) and invited you over to chill on his bed

it’s not an uncommon sight for the both of you to lie next to each other, taking turns with queueing up music on spotify. songs you and jae love together, and those that are new to your ears 

sometimes, you’d talk over the playlist— it becomes more of background noise as jae asks you about your day, the days before that, and what you’re planning on doing in the future

he doesn’t ask for specific answers, he likes to hear how you’ve been feeling, emotionally so

jae has always been intrigued by other people’s perception of themselves, of the things around them, and of what they think of the universe in the back of their minds

it was a little too much to handle, those questions of his, when you first were just getting to know each other

but he eased into it naturally, confessing about his love for the moon— its beauty in appearance, and the beauty of its purpose

which made you think… you’re in love with the moon too, not just what you see in the sky

but what you see right next to you right now

jae had given you enough time before to open up about your own thoughts, struggles, and share secrets with him. it didn’t take long until you found the trust between you and held onto it for dear life

lazy days with jae can be just that— lazy, loafing around the house, stealing a chip or two from each other’s bag, falling asleep to the sound of lofi music on the speaker

but it can go this way too: with jae explaining how good this one song can be, the metaphors every verse carries with the melody. “you’ve always heard of chocolate eyes or whatever, but blueberry? and to describe the setting sun as strawberry skies? amazing, GENIUS” 

and you laugh, and listen to the same song over and over as per jae’s request until he overpowers the original vocals— and you don’t complain, there’s not a sound you love to hear on a lazy afternoon than his low register, the kind of singing he does just for the heck of it. he’s not exerting too much range, too much work on the words he sings— he’s just doing so to comfort him, to bring life to the room, to dwell on each poetic verse’s meaning

i’m so lost in your blueberry eyes

he finishes singing, and the playlist shuffles to an instrumental lofi track with an upbeat, charming rhythm to it

jae keeps his eyes closed, smiling to himself probably proud for his faux performance

“you done gloating in your head yet, jae?”

“shut up i’m feeling the moment”

you poke his shoulder with yours, and you’re suddenly hyper aware at how close the two of you are.. physically, right now

he turns his head towards you, eyes fluttering, lips slightly open. he catches you staring, and it’s too sudden for you to look away and pretend it’s not awkward at all

“what are you doing?” he asks, a lilt of teasing on his voice but his eyes never leave yours 

“sh..shut up,” you quip in a small voice, looking down on your laying bodies before turning away, cheeks warm

“wait what? what i was asking a genuine question—”

“i was.. feeling the moment, okay? god jae you’re annoying” you mutter under your breath, a lousy response to cover up the pounding in your chest

“this moment feels really nice, doesn’t it?” he says next to you, quiet but gentle

you pause for a second, taking in his words and letting go of the smile you’re trying to hold off on

your heart is still racing, but there wasn’t a need to worry about stumbling with your feelings

if jae himself is enjoying your own company right now 

“it is. if it’s with you, it really is.”

[umbry-fic]

A Palette Full of You (3)

Summary: Glimpses into Colette and Lloyd’s lives as they grow up together, learn who they are, and fall in love with each other.

(Written for Colloyd Week 2021)

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving, Sheena Fujibayashi, Zelos Wilder Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving & Sheena Fujibayashi & Zelos Wilder Rating: G Chapter: 3 of 6 Word Count: 6896 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 11/06/2021

Chapter Title: Race Into the Night

Chapter Summary: Lloyd, Colette, Zelos and Sheena visit the carnival to have a night of fun after the end of exams. Lloyd and Colette end up riding the Ferris wheel alone, where...

(Colloyd Week Day 3: Confession/First Kiss)

Notes: Chapter 3 of my multi chapter Colloyd week fic! Featuring much fluff and sap. Zelos is non-binary in this and uses they/them pronouns.

Chapter title from Yoasobi's song.

Chapter list Full fic Previous chapter Next chapter

~~~

18-years-old

"There is no way I'm ever going on that thing. You can't make me."

"Come on, you promised that if I scored better than you at darts you would ride the Riptide with me! Gonna go back on your word now, Sheena?"

"Stop smirking at me, Zelos! You clearly cheated! That game was rigged!"

"All carnival games are rigged. That's common knowledge."

"I don't care. You still cheated!"

"Cheated how? You were watching me the whole time!"

Colette giggled, watching her two friends have a go at each other as they inched closer to each other with each word they spoke. All three of them were leaning against the cold metal railing, though Colette was careful to keep a safe distance from Zelos and Sheena. When they were engrossed in arguing with each other, there was a safe zone, and a not-safe zone where one was liable to get smacked by a wildly gesturing arm or two.

Surrounding them were various stalls staffed by people who were enthusiastically calling out to potential customers, hoping to receive more coupons in the final hour before the carnival closed. There were pop-up game stalls featuring the classics like ring toss and soccer, food stands selling carnival staples like candy floss and popcorn, and even thrill rides like the aforementioned Riptide, a roller coaster that paled in comparison to USS' coasters but certainly had the most twists and turns of anything offered at the carnival. Adorning everything was bright neon lights and colourful decorations, and noise came from every angle, lending to a cheery atmosphere that could get a tad overwhelming at times.

Despite the late hour of 9 pm, there was still quite a crowd - mostly consisting of young adults like them, the majority of families having gone home for the night. She had bumped into quite a few classmates in the past three hours, who had come here with the same idea of having a fun night out with friends after the end of A-levels. A lot of pictures had been taken, until her cheeks hurt a bit from smiling so much, but it had been great fun.

She, Lloyd, Zelos and Sheena had managed to visit almost every booth, using up all of the coupons that they were sharing amongst each other. But even with their combined efforts, they had only managed to win one prize: the adorable Siberian Husky plush she was currently hugging. Though they'd certainly snacked on their share of popcorn, sharing one large carton between the four of them until their fingers were sticky with kernels.

"Colette, back me up!" Sheena begged, turning to face Colette. Despite the biting words that were leaving her mouth, her true emotions were betrayed by the smile playing at the corner of her lips. Sheena's hair was tied up into her trademark high ponytail, the ends of her hair swaying slightly in the weak wind.

"What, me?" Colette exclaimed, rather surprised she was being pulled into the conversation. Zelos and Sheena tended to retreat into their own world whenever they got into this state, forgetting anyone else existed.

"Uh, well..." Colette muttered, sheepishly smiling. "Sorry to disappoint, Sheena, but I have to give this one to Zelos."

"See? Even Colette agrees!" Zelos placed their elbow on the railing, leaning closer to Sheena, smirking.

Sheena didn't even spare Zelos a look, just shoved their face away with a hand, ignoring Zelos' sputters of protest. "How could you, Colette? How could you side with the idiot?" Sheena cried in mock betrayal.

"Well, I and Lloyd were both there, and we both saw Zelos win fair and square. And a deal's a deal," Colette replied, shrugging. Zelos did seem more insistent than usual, but she couldn't discern why.

"Just think of it as a date!" Zelos waved a nonchalant arm in the air, that smirk never fading as they took hold of Sheena's arm.

"Screaming in abject terror is not my idea of a date," Sheena hissed through gritted teeth, though she didn't free herself from Zelos' hold. "Besides, we're supposed to ride the Ferris wheel together once Lloyd comes back!"

"Eh, we won't make it before the carnival closes if we catch the Ferris wheel. Don't worry, I'll treat you to ice cream afterwards! And if that isn't enough to appease you, surely some Ajisen will." Zelos turned to Colette and winked, leaving Colette utterly confused. Was there an underlying meaning to all of this she was supposed to be catching?

"If you drag me on that damn thing, Zelos Wilder, I swear I will never forgive - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! STOP!" Sheena shrieked as Zelos began to drag her by brute force towards the snaking queue of the Riptide. Colette gaped, watching Sheena struggle wildly, digging her feet into the ground and hurling curses that got steadily fouler at Zelos, who didn't seem to be affected at all.

"I'm back with the drinks!" Lloyd's happy voice came from behind her as he walked up to her, holding two cups with steam venting from their tops, hair adorably ruffled from the day's hectic events, woefully unaware of everything that had occurred in the time he was gone. "Wait, what's... Happening...?" he asked, only now spotting the gradually diminishing silhouettes of Zelos and Sheena.

"I... Uh, Zelos and Sheena are going to ride the Riptide," Colette said, explaining the situation as succinctly as she could. How else could she word it, anyway? There was no explaining the antics of those two.

"Alright." Lloyd shrugged, accepted her explanation and passing one cup over to her. She pushed the plushy into the crook of her elbow, freeing up a hand to accept the cup and still managing to almost drop it. She closed her fingers around the plastic cup, soaking in the warmth it emanated.

"It's hot chocolate," Lloyd explained between gulps as he practically downed the whole cup in half a minute. "They're out of hot milo. Sorry."

"It's alright. Any hot drink would have done." Colette finally took a sip, feeling the sting from the heat and sticking out her tongue.

"Should we wait for them to come back or go queue for the Ferris wheel?"

Colette sighed. "We should just go. The queue for the Riptide is really long... They know to meet up back at the MRT at 10."

The original plan was to take a group photo at the peak of the revolution of the Ferris wheel, but that didn't look like it was going to happen now.

So it would just be her and Lloyd riding the Ferris wheel. An activity that could be seen as romantic. The pamphlet for the carnival had even advertised it as a ride of love. When they'd walked past it just now, she'd seen that the Ferris wheel was decked out with a ton of wire hearts that lit up in multiple colours.

It was just ten minutes. It would be over in the blink of an eye! Totally!

"Then, let's go," Lloyd said, grabbing her hand and giving her a minute heart attack, causing her bravado to crumble into dust.

Nope. There was no way this could end well.

The two of them joined the short queue for the Ferris wheel, having thrown their empty cups into a nearby dustbin. Only eight people were waiting for the next empty carriage to descend to ground level and open its doors. Five of them - three children and two adults - belonged to one family, while the rest were a group of three girls, enthusiastically talking to each other. It wouldn't take long for their turn.

A bout of shivers overcame her as the wind picked up, the warmth of the drink already a memory. She wrapped her free arm around herself, gaze dropping to the floor as she once again regretted forgetting to bring out her favourite dog-ear hoodie. It was always hanging on her clothes rack, and it would have been so easy to just reach out a hand and swipe it on her way out. But no, she just had to wake up late and stumble out of the house still half-asleep.

She'd forgotten how cold the nights could get. Especially for her, someone who couldn't even handle the lecture theatre air-conditioning. Forgoing a long-sleeved T-shirt for her kiwi bird-print tee was not helping matters.

"Here." Something warm and soft was draped around her shoulders, and she looked up to find herself draped in Lloyd's familiar jacket, his face hovering close to hers. "You should have told me you were cold," Lloyd muttered, his breath tickling her neck. "I would have given you my jacket earlier."

His jacket smelt like him, a safe, comforting blanket that reached to her thighs. It held his body heat, too, slowly seeping into her.

Colette flushed, turning her face away so she didn't have to look into those russet eyes. For there was concern there, as well as the ever-present kindness, but there was also more. There was no way to hide her blush, not when he was right here, but she still had to resist the urge to hide her face behind the plushy.

Why was she still trying so hard to hide, anyway? It's not like it was of any use. She was so obvious. As Zelos had told her, it had gone far past the point of being funny.

"Though I guess you're always cold," Lloyd said, tearing his gaze away from her and taking a hurried step back. Perhaps the words were meant to be teasing, but they fell flat with the out-of-place laughter attached to the end.

"I - I mean, it - it was my fault for not bringing a jacket in the first place," she stuttered, the words stumbling over each other in her mouth in her hurry to answer. Now Lloyd would know she was nervous too. She was doing really well, wasn't she? “But thank you.”

"The next carriage is here," the attendant called out, voice flat and expression terribly bored. He was staring at them with a barely veiled expression of disinterest, waving his arms to direct them into the next carriage, doors wide open.

"Come on." Lloyd grabbed her hand, the smile returning to his face. The Ferris wheel was lit up to the nines, throwing soft purple light onto everything around her and illuminating half of Lloyd's face. Beautiful. He was always so beautiful, but it was moments like these where it made her heart hurt, wanting so desperately to reach out and touch his face.

Heart pounding in her chest, she took her seat, Lloyd sitting directly on her left, their legs close enough to brush.

She placed the plushy in her lap, resting her chin on it and trying her best to slow her racing heart, knowing it would be of no use. Here, in this carriage that was slowly rising into the sky and gently rocking, it was just the two of them in this little space, cut off from the rest of the world.

It was hard to tell herself she was imagining the intense way Lloyd was staring at her, like she was the only thing worth looking at, even though the beautiful night scenery was right outside the glass. Nor was it possible to imagine the tension, sharp as a knife, that had arisen between them for the past half a year or so. Almost everything was the same: they were still incredibly close, but there was a hesitance there now - in the way Lloyd’s fingers sometimes curled away from hers, in the way she sometimes stopped before throwing an arm around his shoulder to embrace him.

Neither of them had spoken up about that tension, dancing around each other like fools. Even if he did return her feelings… Love wasn’t enough to bridge the impossible distance between them. She could never fully comprehend all that he felt, just as he could never fully comprehend the absence of what she felt. She could never give him what others could, not with her extreme revulsion towards anything sexual in nature. She’d be willing to try, for him, simply because her love for him knew no bounds, but… she couldn't say where her limits would be. Likely not very far from where she would start.

Even though Lloyd had been nothing but supportive of her, that didn’t mean he was willing to take a chance that could very well end in failure and heartbreak. She might not be enough for him when it came to a relationship. If that was the case, she could understand. Neither of them had done anything wrong. If they were incompatible from the start, then she could keep her silence. She’d be perfectly happy to remain as friends, even if these nebulous feelings would never leave her chest. She didn’t want to lose them.

"Um, do you, uh... like the plushy?" Lloyd asked, his voice cutting through her anxious thoughts. Awkwardness radiated off of him in spades as he shifted in the seat, turning his head away to stare down at the floor. At least she wasn't the only one that was nervous. He was repeating the exact question he’d asked her when he’d given her the plushy.

"I love it. It's soft, and it's cute. Thanks for giving it to me." The same answer she’d given him before.

Lloyd had been the one who won a carnival game - the ball toss, to be specific. He'd managed to down all the cans with a single ball and gotten the choice of any of the first-place prizes. Zelos had raised an eyebrow and asked him how he'd gotten past the unfair odds. Lloyd had sheepishly scratched the back of his head and said it was a lucky accident, one that he couldn’t repeat, which proved to be true in his later attempts.

Lloyd had taken one look at the prize pool, pointed out the Siberian Husky plush to the staff, and then stuffed it into her hands the moment he'd gotten it, proclaiming that it was a gift for her. Zelos had been outright snickering, while even Sheena had looked like she was holding back laughter, shoulders shaking.

Lloyd's hand found hers in the little space between them, his thumb rubbing the skin of her palm just below her fingers. It was a repetitive, soothing motion, helping to calm her down.

She hoped that, no matter what, they would always stay together. Whether as friends or more. Just the two of them.

"I'm glad you like it." Lloyd's voice was getting progressively quieter with each syllable his lips formed, slowly shifting right along the seat towards her.

“Can - can I…” Lloyd asked timidly, turning to face her and leaning closer. Her field of vision narrowed to just his face, barely lit by the scant light that reached them from the carnival grounds and the spokes of the Ferris wheel. Everything else was slowly turning into a blur. “Can I kiss you?”

The carriage had reached the top of its revolution. Through the window, she could see the sparkling lights of the high-rises in the distance. Silence suffused the air as no one spoke, the world itself seeming to hold its breath, neither she nor Lloyd moving a single part of their bodies as they stared at each other. His eyes were wide, filled with such incredible emotion, built up over years and spilling over at this very moment.

Her breath caught in her throat, a current of warmth making itself known in her heart at the fact that he’d actually bothered to ask. She’d expected Lloyd to - the kind, considerate soul that she’d come to know and love, but somewhere in the back of her mind was tucked the irrational fear that there would never be anyone who respected her boundaries, simply because she wasn't worth it.

She took a deep breath, preparing her answer. It wouldn’t be “normal”, that was for sure. It wasn’t a simple yes or no, but rather…

“Is it fine if it’s on the cheek?” were the quiet words that left her mouth, shattering the expectant silence as her grip tightened on the plushy. Maybe one day, she wouldn’t mind a kiss on the lips, but not today. She wasn’t up to it yet.

She doesn’t know what answer she expects. Probably a no. It’s perfectly understandable for Lloyd to just step away.

“Of course,” Lloyd replied instantly, the gentle smile on his face once again shattering all the preconceived notions she’d constructed in her head, absolutely terrified of rejection but huddling herself into a corner in the belief that that was all she could possibly receive. There had been no hesitation behind that statement, no hint of reproach or anger or irritation towards her.

“Yes.” The word slipped out without any thought, for she herself had yearned for so terribly long. The desire she had always held to love, and to be loved, despite everything - to experience it all with the boy that had always been part of her life and that she hoped could continue to be there for the rest of it.

She turned her head to the side, and it didn't take another moment longer before Lloyd pressed his lips against her cheek, one hand still holding hers while his other arm wrapped around her shoulder, the plushy trapped between them. He was nothing if not gentle, bringing up her earliest memories of being kissed on the cheek by her mother, before she had left her life forever. It was through that gentleness that the force of his love was truly impressed on her - for there was passion there, in the very act of holding himself back. Love, gentle like a warm flame, but not any lesser for it, for his love was just as impregnable as a brick wall, unyielding and unbreaking.

She could feel his warm breath against her cheek, his lips softer than she could have thought, his hair close enough to run her hands through as she’d always wanted. So she did, letting the strands fall through her fingers like melted chocolate.

Was he… smiling? It sure felt like it.

It wasn't a magical moment like people always said the first kiss would be like. After all, theirs was nowhere close to conventional, but it was an experience that belonged only to them. No sparks were flying in the air, nor did time stop. It was just the two of them, fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces in the way they always had, and she couldn't ask for anything more.

Lloyd moved away, his arm dropping from her shoulder, hand joining the other to clasp her limp one. His eyes were shining with joy, the same joy that filled her heart and made it feel like it might take flight at any time. Everything had finally fallen into place.

Her whole face was now on fire as she turned away, leaning forward over her legs. Her hair fell by the side of her face like a veil, letting only tiny glimpses of Lloyd through.

“You’re sure?” she asked, knowing that she needed to clarify. Even if his actions had been the shining light that burned away most of her doubts, some still remained. Lloyd really, truly needed to understand what he was getting into. She would not let him mindlessly enter into a relationship with her without knowing about all the ups and downs, all the complications that would come with it. That would only end in them hurting each other, and then they might never be able to stand the sight of each other again. It was the dreaded future she never wanted to come to pass. “It’s not going to be easy."

“I know,” he replied, squeezing her hand, his russet eyes focussed on hers. “But all relationships have challenges, don't they? We'll figure it out together, just like always. And if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll stay as friends, forever. I just want you to know that I love you.”

There is nothing but burning conviction behind his words, and a determination that reached deep into her soul and lit a flame of hope.

There would be many more difficult conversations that needed to be had, candid discussions that would need to take place. But for now, she didn't say anything more, hoping the unspoken “I love you” from her side could be understood, clear as day. She still couldn’t make herself say it, the final lingering doubt that she suspected would never fully go away holding her back: that romantic love had to go hand in hand with sexual attraction, and that one could not exist without the other.

She simply closed her eyes, leaning against him and enjoying the gentle rocking of the carriage for the remainder of their time on the Ferris wheel.

~~~

25-years-old

"Remember this Ferris wheel?" Lloyd teased Colette, squeezing her hand as they stood in front of the Ferris wheel at the reopened carnival. It wasn't the exact same one they’d ridden at the age of 18, for that one had been deconstructed years ago. But it was a near-perfect replica, down to the purple lights that lit up the spokes, though the hearts were gone. Even the bored attendant who was barely paying attention to her duties was right!

"How could I forget?" Colette laughed, her trademark bright smile on her face. Even after knowing her for twenty years and dating her for seven of those years, the sight of her smile never failed to light a spark in his chest.

At least this time Colette was dressed appropriately for the colder night, in a pencil skirt and a long-sleeved collared blouse with a few frills. She looked a lot more put-together than him, who was just wearing plain old jeans. He had picked her straight up from work before driving them here, after all.

All that was missing was the staff pass that she’d removed from around her neck and left in the car. Her smart-casual image, however, was completely shattered by the pair of grey dog ears poking out of her hair, attached to the headband sitting behind her ears. They even felt furry to the touch, though it wasn’t real dog fur.

A pair of brown ears sat on his own head. Colette hadn’t managed to win a grand prize at the game stalls like he once had out of dumb luck, but she'd managed to do pretty well at the ring toss, scoring almost all of her tosses onto the red-rimmed bottles. That meant she could redeem a few mid-tier prizes, so she'd gotten two headbands with dog ears attached, one for her and one for him that he could wear if he wanted to. He'd put it on immediately. Now they matched! He needed to take a picture of them sometime - Sheena and Zelos would appreciate the cute image.

More like Sheena would strangle him over digital space if he didn't send cute photos.

The carnival had finally returned after four years of absence, and he and Colette had jointly decided to return almost immediately upon hearing the news. It was small and honestly not that impressive compared to other theme parks they’d been to, but it still held precious memories. And it would make for a fun date, which it certainly had so far!

They'd retraced their steps from years ago, though unfortunately, they were lacking Zelos and Sheena. First riding the pirate ship, Colette’s hair going wild in the air as the ship swung from side-to-side, then visiting the game stalls, laughing at each other’s absolutely horrendous attempts, then buying and sharing a stick of cotton candy between them, taking turns biting from the fluffy substance and having their tongues curl from the overload of sweetness, before finally arriving back here at the Ferris wheel.

"I know I've said this already, but thanks for planning this all out," Colette said, linking her arm with his and smiling up at him as they joined the queue. The queue was much longer today, amounting to more than 40 people, by his rough estimate. It was still quite early in the evening, half of the sun still peeking over the horizon, the sky painted in a pink that would soon be darkening to orange. It was just as noisy as in the past, perhaps even noisier, for the families hadn't gone home yet. "There were quite a few kerfuffles with the system at work today, and this really helped."

"That bad?"

"Mm. We had a new intern come in today, and then the old system just decided to crash. Not the intern's fault, she's the sweetest girl. But it was still a headache to deal with."

"Well, I'm glad it helped. Though I'm just happy to spend more time with you."

If everything went according to plan, then he'd be seeing a lot more of her in the future.

He shoved his hand into his pocket, checking that the all-important box was still there. It was the crux of this whole operation, and he could not lose it.

Colette laughed, a sound that inevitably made him smile. "I'm sorry I haven't been free for the past few weeks. It's a busy time for the company."

"It's alright. I'll be starting work soon too, after all. Besides, we still stay two floors apart. There's pretty much no way we don't see each other every week, silly."

"Sorry, sorry. Shouldn't be a downer; you're right. Anyway, since tomorrow’s a public holiday, want to spend it over at my place?”

“Netflix and chill?” Lloyd answered, well aware that he was probably getting some weird looks from people close enough to overhear him. He wasn’t even sure if Colette knew of its double meaning - she was generally completely clueless about the world of euphemisms. Over time, they’d just started co-opting the phrase. After all, their time together at each other’s place was mostly spent… watching shows while curled up together on the couch, creating dishes that were more like unrecognisable disasters in the kitchen while attempting not to set the whole place on fire, or Colette playing video games at the foot of the bed while he tickled her neck with his toes. In terms of risque activities, they so rarely happened - and only after he checked, double-checked and triple-checked that Colette was feeling up to it and not forcing herself for his sake.

“I don’t mind, but we haven’t finished that card game we started last month. The card piles are still sitting untouched on my bay window. Wanna do that instead?”

“Sure!” He replied enthusiastically. Board games or card games always promised a good time, if infuriating when nothing would line up and Lady Luck was decidedly not smiling on him. Colette seemed to get all the luck in these party games. Maybe it was consolation for tripping all the time.

“It’s such a shame that Zelos and Sheena aren’t here,” Colette said, pulling out her phone. “I know they went on the Ferris wheel the year after we did, but we still haven’t gotten that group photo we were supposed to.”

“One’s in Europe and one’s in Australia. There’s no way they could join us on such short notice.” The last he'd heard from them, both were doing well for themselves and very happy in their long-distance relationship.

“True. I guess I can add them to the photo afterwards with the power of Photoshop. Oh, and Zelos sent me this really weird message...” After a few swipes of her finger, Colette shoved the bright phone screen under his nose.

Zelos Wilder: Looking forward to the good news ;)

“Do you have any idea what they mean?” Colette asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion. “They haven’t been replying to my question!”

Lloyd could feel his fingers twitching. Zelos Wilder wasn’t here, but if they were, Lloyd would have strangled them already. Trying to spoil the surprise, were they?

“It’s probably nothing! You know how they are. Always trying to cause chaos.” Lloyd shrugged, hoping he wasn’t being too obvious, as he tended to be.

“I suppose that’s true… What good news?” Lloyd could hear Colette repeating that question to herself under her breath, not quite soft enough for it to escape his notice. She didn’t seem to have noticed that anything was up with him, thankfully.

“It’s our turn! Come on, let’s get on!” Lloyd declared, just loud enough to startle Colette and cause her to nearly drop her phone. She hurriedly stuffed it back into her pocket, following Lloyd to the open carriage. She hadn't realised the space before them had completely cleared.

The attendant lazily waved them onto the open carriage with barely a glance at them, a mumbled: “Have a nice ride” leaving her mouth.

Lloyd was the first to scramble on, turning around to give Colette a helping hand - only to find her falling straight into him, having tripped over the raised step. With a shocked “Oh!” falling from her lips, Colette crashed into him, nearly knocking him flat onto the carriage seat. With a shocked yelp, Lloyd braced himself against the glass window of the carriage, barely maintaining his balance. Years of practice at stopping Colette’s sometimes fantastical falls over obstacles that weren’t visible to him had honed his reaction times to near perfection, giving him ample preparation for this situation.

The attendant continued to ignore them, gaze fixed not so discreetly on the phone sitting in her lap. The doors of the carriage slid smoothly shut, and with a jolt that nearly knocked them off balance again, the carriage set off on its journey.

"Um, sorry..." Colette apologised from her position pressed flush against Lloyd's chest, arms entangled in his. She slowly extricated herself from the mess, stumbling a few times but managing not to fall again, even with the gentle swaying of the carriage floor. He tried his best to steady her without falling over himself. She sheepishly smiled. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Lloyd adjusted her headband, setting the ears that had been knocked crooked back into their rightful place. He’d told her multiple times that she didn’t need to apologise for tripping, but she still did, the habit too ingrained to break. It was endearing, though. “You?”

“I’m fine!” Colette smoothed out her skirt (though there weren’t any noticeable wrinkles in it from the fall,) and sat down to rest her weary feet, giving Lloyd the cue to sit down as well. “Thank goodness I wasn’t wearing heels…”

Lloyd did not want to imagine what would have happened if she was - she might have twisted her ankle, or worse. She rarely wore heels due to her clumsiness, but when she did, all sorts of accidents tended to happen.

He stuffed his hand into his pocket again, fingers feeling the velvet texture again.

It’s still here.

"What's still here?" Colette’s confused voice broke through his relieved thoughts. Her hands were resting in her lap and she was leaning forward, eyes shining with a curious light. The usual white lights of the new condominiums close to the carnival grounds shone, a few glimmers of pink visible as people celebrated Pink Dot. It was at this very moment that the Ferris wheel's lights turned from purple to pink, the spokes emanating soft pink light that washed over Colette, making her hair glisten - almost like an ethereal fairy with imaginary wings that shimmered, having come to visit him on this mortal plane. The dog ears only added to that image, somehow. Even now, the sight of her was enough to make him feel dizzy, both out of love and awe, even if he no longer blushed like an embarrassed schoolboy. Awe that she could get more beautiful every time his gaze landed on her. And awe that such an incredible person had chosen to trust him and stay with him.

He was so enraptured by the angel before him that it took a few seconds for her words to process in his mind, after which he froze in horror.

OH NO, HE’D SAID IT OUT LOUD. A thousand alarm bells were ringing in his head. Some days he was reminded that he was an adult now, and other days he was reminded that he was as much an idiot as he used to be. Some things just never changed.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Colette said, a teasing lilt to her voice as she rested her chin on her palm, an amused smile playing on her lips.

He could just play it off - he knew Colette wouldn’t pursue it any further if he gave off the signals to drop the topic. She was just like that: the most considerate person he knew.

But…

The original plan had been to do it on the Ferris wheel. It even had Zelos' approval. This, right now, was the perfect chance to just let the cat out of the bag. And he would grasp the opportunity in hand before it could escape him.

For he could think of no future happier than one spent Colette’s side.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled the purple box out of his pocket with a shaking hand, dropping to his knees on the surprisingly clean carriage floor, devoid of the usual spilt drinks and crumpled up tissues.

He could tell the exact moment Colette gleaned the true intent behind his actions, the blank, confused expression on her face morphing into one of shocked disbelief, eyes widening and hands flying up to cover her mouth.

Damn it, he’d completely forgotten the script he’d written with Zelos’ assistance in a back-and-forth over messages, Zelos alternating between giving actually good advice and being extremely annoying, though Lloyd had gotten them to shut up by asking them when they planned to propose. The two of them had both struggled to find the right words, since neither of them had done super well in English. But Lloyd had persevered, wanting to get his feelings across eloquently.

But now that he was staring into Colette’s blue eyes, all the words were sprouting wings and flying mockingly out of his head, leaving only blank space for him to reach uselessly for.

The one piece of advice Zelos had given him that continued to stick in his head was this: speak from the heart, and surely she would understand.

He couldn’t keep her waiting forever.

“I… ” He couldn’t help but start off slow, struggling against the block in his mind but determined to push past it. The words then seemed to just come to him, progressively faster as time went on, stumbling out of some unknown part of his mind - or perhaps it would be more accurate to say his heart. Somehow, throughout it all, he didn't drop the box despite his trembling hands. “Colette, you’re the most amazing person I know. Your compassion, your gentleness, even your clumsiness, they’re all vital parts of my life that I wouldn’t give up for anything. You are my shining star in the sky, the one that gives me hope, that inspires me to be the best version of myself. If I had the choice to relieve my life from the start, I wouldn't change a thing, because meeting you on that playground all those years ago was the best thing that has ever happened to me. All my years spent with you have been incredible, and I would like to spend many more by your side. So, just like years ago, Colette, I have something I need to ask you, right here and right now.”

“Will you… Will you marry me?” He finished, voice drifting off into silence as he flipped open the box to reveal the two plain, thin metal rings he’d bought. Colette wasn’t the type to go for flashy diamonds or colourful gems. She’d appreciate something simple like this.

He waited, the few seconds of deafening silence seeming to stretch out into eternity, broken only by the sound of blood rushing past his ears. This wasn’t the first time he’d asked this very question, if in a different and less dramatic form. He’d already received her answer once. But he would respect whatever answer she gave now, and most of all, they would keep the promise they had made at this very place: that they would always remain friends, no matter what.

~~~

Colette still couldn’t quite believe her ears, gaze flitting between Lloyd’s face and the box he was holding up towards her, the two rings housed snugly within reflecting pink light.

Marriage had crossed her mind many times. She had learned over the years that it wasn’t a penultimate goal that had to be reached to prove her relationship successful, and she’d told Lloyd as much when he’d asked her two months ago if she’d be willing to get married.

But still, even if she had managed to break free from most of the notions the fairytales of old had implanted into her head, able to just enjoy them as sweet stories now, she couldn’t quite rid herself of the dream of having a fairytale wedding. One that was perfectly planned, with family and friends present to stand witness to their union.

She’d told him yes. That she would be willing to tie the knot with him, the one she loved. The expectation of a proposal had been simmering in the back of her mind ever since, often going forgotten. She had not expected the time would be now. Lloyd had been more fidgety than normal, constantly checking his pockets while disguising the action as keeping his hands in his pockets. She’d known something was up, but his true intentions had escaped her detection until just moments before, when she’d been taken off guard. All she’d thought when he’d pulled out the box was that it resembled the ring boxes in the dramas Sheena was always recommending to her, the ones that appeared in all the emotional proposal scenes, until the realisation had hit her in the chest like a truck.

Once again, like years ago, they’d reached the top of the revolution. The silence remained unbroken as Lloyd patiently awaited her answer, not pushing her towards one. And so events repeated, mirrored across time.

Colette slowly stretched out her arm, eyes shimmering with unshed tears as a smile graced her face. She nodded, her throat blocked by all the emotions that swirled in her chest, unable to say ‘yes’ out loud even as she screamed it over and over in her mind, the tears finally breaking free of whatever barrier was holding them back to spill down her face.

Lloyd broke out into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, radiating pure joy as he slid one of the simple, elegant, silver bands onto her ring finger. It fit. Perfectly. When had he even learned her ring size?

She picked up the other ring that was meant for Lloyd, marvelling at how her hand could somehow remain stable as the rest of her body trembled in barely contained emotion. The ring was so tiny, held between her thumb and index finger, and yet it held such significant weight as she slid it onto his ring finger, the skin of his hand rough against hers and the metal cold.

Lloyd jumped to his feet, pulling her into an embrace and pressing a kiss to the top of her head (his nose bumping the dog ears), holding her close, his happy laughter rumbling through his chest. Even now, when he must have been bursting with joy, he was still mindful of her boundaries, refusing to do anything that would cross the line. Heart filled with warmth, she pressed herself impossibly closer, intending to just melt into his arms forever -

"Please get off the carriage."

The deadpan voice that belonged to neither her nor Lloyd broke through the peaceful bubble that had been constructed around the two of them. She froze, feeling Lloyd stiffen around her as well. Looking to the left yielded the view of solid ground, and the same uninterested attendant gesturing towards it.

Ah. They'd reached the bottom without even noticing. This was… embarrassing, to say the least.

Thankfully, no one seemed to be in the queue at the moment, allowing the two of them to escape from the Ferris wheel without much attention. It appeared that only the attendant had borne witness, and she couldn’t seem to care less, having returned to the booth.

Their interlocked hands swung in the air, the matching rings glinting under the bright neon lights of the carnival as she wiped away her happy tears, both of them grinning uncontrollably.

"I love you," Lloyd said, the words leaving his lips with ease, as they always had. "Shall we go home?” he asked.

Home was with friends and family and Lloyd, the one who held her heart.

Colette squeezed Lloyd’s hand. She felt light as a feather, like she could somehow fly with wings that she didn't have.

"I love you," she replied, the words coming so easily now. "Let’s.”

~~~

The attendant shook her head, scoffing as she returned to scrolling through Twitter.

“I suppose love does make the world go round.”

~~~

Next chapter

[justsomeoneunordinary]

tagged by @warmachinesocks, thank you!!! ♥️♥️

1. why did you choose your url?

bc i'm lazy but also extremely stubborn. didn't wanna think too long abt it, so i just wanted to go with "someone", which was taken already ofc, and then tried all kinds of variations of "anyone, somebody, justsomeone" etc. until one finally worked. could've come up with smth original in the time i spent trying to make "someone" work, but well. i am really stubborn. keeping the url cause everything abt it is me in a nutshell, so it works.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

nah, i tried it a bunch of times to make one for writing/creations only, but i just don't like it. this is a chaotic mess in one, as it should be.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

eh, 2018? smth like that

4. do you have a queue tag?

i used to have "yippie-queue-yay" as my queue tag back when i still direct reblogged everything and only queued from time to time. since i queue everything now, i don't feel like it makes sense to have a queue tag anymore, so i got rid of it.

5. why did you start your blog in the fist place?

idk, i got a tumblr account to look at fanart and read fics and once i realized how important reblogging is, i actually started a blog and idk. this is what it is now today.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

let's pretend it's still the wanda one and i didn't temporarily change it. bc wanda in her suit is sexy and @shurii was nice enough to edit the colors to fit perfectly with my theme :)

7. why did you choose your header?

bc the trip on the pacaya volcano is my favorite traveling memory and while the lava photos are cooler than this scenery one, i prefer blue&black combo over red&black, and i just really, really like the photo i took

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i don't know for sure, but i think it's my anti endgame rant. i'm too lazy to search it up now tho

9. how many mutuals do you have?

no clue, i'm not gonna go counting now. maybe 20 or so? idk.

10. how many followers do you have?

pick a number you like between 0 and 719'612'338'593'254'726 :)

11. how many people do you follow?

131. some haven't updated in a long while, but i keep following, just in case...

12. have you ever made a shit post?

when don't i?

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

wouldn't you like to know

14. did you have a fight/argument with another lot once? who won?

ngl, it happened once or twice, but usually i just block

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i suddenly cannot read

16. do you like tag games?

sure, they're fun!

17. do you like ask games?

yes!!! i also like it when i even get some asks! :D

18. which of your mutual do you think is tumblr famous?

please, they're all dumbasses

19. do you have a crush on a mutual

nope. they do have on me tho, cause i'm sexy like that 💖

20. tags?

@iam93percentstardust, @rabentochter, @storietellers, @why-the-face, @niinazenik, @vindemiatrix-moonpies and anyone else who wants to do this too! ♥️

[official-alan-dabiri]

First and foremost, we have some exciting new changes that everyone can get behind. Absolutely nobody has a problem with the new experience globe mechanics. New experience globes are only at full value for six seconds, and after that are worth 25% exp. And then they last for thirty-nine seconds. Nobody finds this objectionable in any way. This change was not on the PTR due to public outcry from Reddit when it was leaked early, but it’s here live with all of its zero problems fixed.

Another change about which we have received zero complaints is a new tag system behind the scenes. People looking for just the right hero for the situation can easily find it by searching for such keywords as “CC” “Silence” “Sustain” and “Double soak” and find extremely useful and not absolute garbage results. Don’t worry about checking it ahead of time, just get right into draft mode and use it to find the perfect pick!

In addition to those minor and unobjectionable changes, we have removed Volskaya Foundry from the ranked queue, and added everyone’s favorite quickmatch map, Warhead Junction. We have also done this simultaneously with an Overwatch-themed event.

Hero changes below the cut, because this patch is another doozy, with fiiiiiive herooooo rewoooooorks, Four buffed assassins, three nerfed offlaners, two nerfed tanks and we also nerfed the looost viiiikiiiings!

Anduin is the first of our reworks and with him taking a more prominent role in Shadowlands we want to be able to welcome WoW players with open arms. He, uh, doesn’t have a new skin or anything, we just want people to play this game. The central goal of the buff is to improve his healing output in line with other heroes without removing the largest strength in Leap of Faith. As such, we’re just touching literally every part of his kit and talent try and praying that it goes the way we want.

People keep mistaking Johanna for the best tank in the game. This is factually untrue, since Muradin exists. As such, we are just gutting the absolute pants off of Johanna’s talent tree and making it weird and clunky.

For too long has Raynor been the scourge of draft play. Too good to skip, but not scary enough to ban. Perfect macro contributions, with respectable hero damage. Enough self-sustain to take weight off your healer, and self-peel for when tanks are bad. The perfect killing machine. As such, we’ve nerfed his damage into the ground. Start playing Greymane, bitches.

Stitches has proven to be a mediocre bruiser in the eyes of the community. After all these years, I think I know why. We accidentally categorized him as a tank. As such, he needs some serious changes to make him fit that label. This whole time we’ve been balancing him as a bruiser and nobody said anything? This is as much your fault as it is mine.

The average damage output of a ranged assassin has been steadily climbing for a while now. As a result, for a hero to actually be a glass cannon, they need some serious firepower. Valla now has the gunpowder to match her glass. And she’s the glassiest cannon there is. Don’t get me wrong, she still evaporates like a drop of water in California when an enemy hero looks at her. But when she has a solid tank and three healers behind her, the world is your oyster.

Oh my god they didn’t break down the heroes by category. Jesus Christ what the fuck Blizzard? You just decided that this is the line? This is the day you stop caring? Well, congratulations, you’ve made reading your patch notes mildly more inconvenient. I’m still doing this. Ya bunch of jack-offs.

Mei has been grossly overperforming, and we have no idea how that happened. We certainly didn’t buff her over and over again for an entire year. Anyway, we’re just going to roll some stuff back. Definitely probably fine.

It turns out - and bear with me here because this might be hard to follow - Hogger, D.va, and Sonya were all overtuned? For six months? So we’re just gonna tippy tappy them down the smallest little bit. And then slap them around a little for good measure. D.va’s mech form is no longer indomitable, Hogger can no longer solo any merc camp in the game in 12 seconds, and Sonya is now... Basically fine still, honestly. We kinda gave her just a slap on the wrist in comparison. But honestly after gutting Hogger like that, I just didn’t have the heart. One of the benefits from being a little later, alphabetically.

After riding the TLV train up through the ranks, I think it’s about time to recognize that I’m not actually good at them. They’re just overtuned. So it’s time to come back to earth, Icarus. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly-small HP nerf, though. The real nerf is buffing Longboat Raid. People are going to have to pick it to test it and it’s gonna murder their winrate.

Someone told me that Lucio is a problem and needed to be addressed this patch, but my cat came into the home office being adorable so I didn’t hear exactly what they said. So we had to kinda wing it. Hopefully these minor adjustments to his talent tree will solve whatever they were talking about!

Even we know Uther is a problem. Being first pickable and filling three different unique roles was what we wanted to do with Varian not Uther. So we’re going to try and make him incrementally worse at tanking until he just goes away. First up: Shaving off some of that personal armor.

AFK splitpush trash Azmodan is dead. Long live teamfight artillery mage Azmodan. Really glad I made the last HotS Content post about Nova instead of Azmodan because boy howdy do these changes invalidate the entire playstyle that post would have discussed.

W build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was he riddled with bugs after the rework - don’t worry, we learned from our mistakes and made sure there were no bugs with our new reworks - but also he had the ability to point and click on an enemy hero and force them to run all the way to the next lane over in order to stop taking buckets of free damage. It turns out that ability was more powerful than anticipated, and required adjustment.

Q build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was it completely overshadowed by a build that did more damage in every situation with less skill requirement, but we overestimated the value of macro power on a build that demands PvP for stacking. As such, we’ve doubled the amount of power each stack gives him! That’ll do.

AA build Falstad... Stay the course, buddy. Doin’ fine.

Junkrat has been underperforming, which is surprising for a hero with his level of power. As such, we’re going to make a few small buffs to hopefully draw attention, and then we can roll things back once the pickrate reflects his actual power. Hopefully then WE CAN FINALLY MAKE THE MANDATORY CHANGE I PUT IN EVERY MEMO. TYRE. WITH A Y. THAT’S HOW THEY SPELL IT IN AUSTRALIA. KAEO I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU- wait, did Kaeo leave? Who the fuck is still here? Kinnabrew? Adam? Jason? JASON! JASON!?

Tassadar has also fallen off a lot without us having done anything at all whatsoever to nerf him. Entirely undeserved treatment. I’m disappointed in all of you. As such, we’re going to tweak his numbers up just a little tippy tap so that you all remember who killed the Overmind. It wasn’t James Raynor or Sarah Kerrigan. It was Tassadar... Tassadar Bassadar. That’s his last name. Don’t look it up, just trust me.

In the bug fix department, we’ve had a nice sit-down with the Mountain Giants on Alterac and told them that if they have time to lean, they have time to clean. Reaching the end of their lane and expecting the core to come to them is putting undue stress on an already overtaxed position. The core is a very stressful job, and if the mountain giants could just do their part to walk into the core pit when they arrive, that’s a huge load off their shoulders. Drek’thar and Vanndar really needed this expectation taken off them right now, and I’m hopeful it will lead to a better work environment.

[starkeristheendgame]

Just a little drabble for @darkerstarker who is feeling a lil down today so please send all the love ❤ Inspired by this Instagram post.

A very soft meet cute AU 💕

Contrary to popular belief; Tony did enjoy 'living normally' once in a while. Stepping out amongst the general public and blending in as good as he was capable of. The signature facial hair was hard to hide, but so many had attempted to copy his likeness these days that as long as he kept all other identifiers hidden, people would eye him with hopeful suspicion long enough that he could usually get his coffee and get out before they plucked up the courage to come over and ask.

And that was why he was here, the coffee. The best mid-grade coffee in New York, if he were to admit it. The store was small, housed only eight tables, and was typically generous with being a place that recognised him only two out of ten times. All the girls behind the counter knew him, but were kind enough to keep their excitement to a minimum. It helped that he left large tips, he supposed.

It had taken him half an hour to shake the paparazzi lurking outside the Tower, still hungry for morsels of information after last weeks missions. They'd linger for several more days still, but they weren't the smartest Tony had faced, and several alleyways and a change of clothes had done the trick. The sweater he wore was thick and powder blue and the long trench coat with its collar upturned to his calves helped hide the glow and shape of the reactor in his chest. The dark shades hid enough of his face that most dismissed him as a wanna-be.

The coffee is worth it, he told himself. The normalcy is worth it.

The queue wasn't long, four people obviously needing their caffeine fix before heading to their 9-5's or their morning classes, if the boy in front of him was anything to go by. The kid couldn't be more than a hundred and thirty pounds wet, with a thick flop of curls that erred wildly towards his right temple and stuck up at the back where he might well have just rolled out of bed and walked out of the door.

A backpack hung heavy on one shoulder, stuffed full of books with the zipper straining in one corner, and he wore a baggy shirt that reminded Tony of his own 'lab comfies', too loose around the neck and hanging off the kid's frame like a blanket. Something dark had stained the kid's slender fingers where he flipped his phone over and over, and it made Tony's own hands twitch against his thighs, reminded of the motor oil and grease that had become practically a second skin.

When the kid stopped flipping the phone and thumbed the screen on, he ought to have looked away. It was only polite, after-all, but he really couldn't, because the lock-screen that flared to life was his own face. It was from a magazine shoot he distantly remembered, lounging in a throne-like chair in an expensive Giovanni suit, laughing at something the photographer had said. The kid seemed to stare at it for a moment before keying in his passcode, and tapping straight onto Google.

Tony should have looked away. Social convention said it was only the proper thing to do. But then...He was a billionaire with a hole in his chest and a flying gold alloy suit. Social convention didn't really apply to him anymore. So he kept staring as the kid typed in a single letter, just a T, and breathed out in bemusement at the drop-down list.

Tony Stark. Tony Stark photoshoot. Tony Stark news. Tony Stark Iron Man. Tony Stark smiling. Tony Stark 2020.

He raised a brow as the kid thumbed the 'Tony Stark smiling' option and adjusted his phone, secretive to those around him but heedless of whoever was standing behind.

"Ah, yes. The good stuff" the kid murmured to himself, and Tony couldn't have stopped the grin if he tried. Watched as the kid spent the rest of the line scrolling through hundreds of images of Tony, pausing here and there to save one that particularly caught his eye. The line shuffled onwards without the kid so much as glancing away from the screen, but when it came to his turn he locked his phone and shoved it into his pocket, looking up.

"Hey, Lolly. Can I get my usual, please?" The boy asked, in quite possibly the sweetest voice Tony had ever heard. A little high, a little quick, like he was in a permanent state of excited. Behind the counter, Lolly's gaze had already latched onto Tony, and she flashed him a flushed, secretive smile as she tapped in the kid's order. Tony tipped his head, then raised his hand a little to catch her attention.

"And mine onto that, please" he instructed her smoothly, reaching past the kid to slide his card down onto the table. Part of enjoying normalcy meant he carried a debit card around with him, forsaking contactless methods and hacking. He'd even gone and paid extra to have a customised image on it, and a beaming dog dressed as Iron Man lolled its tongue happily at every cashier.

The kid turned abruptly, clearly ready to start an argument, and his brain visibly stalled, jarring to a halt much the same as Tony's did. Because the kid was gorgeous. A babyish face belayed by a strong jaw, round cheeks and dark eyes framed by long lashes. Pretty was the word Tony wanted to bring forth. Pretty, like a painting. Like a sculpture.

Tony reached up and slowly slid off his shades, fixing the kid with the most dazzling, I'm your hero smile he owned. "The least I can do, to say thank you for being a fan" he purred, laying the charm on thick as Lolly handed him back his card. The kid's brain seemingly hadn't come online again yet, gaping at him with flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

The kid's order turned out to be a fruit smoothie, which was done by the time the kid managed to stutter out "Holy shit, you're Tony Stark" and the billionaire reached into his pocket, uncapping the Sharpie he carried around before reaching past the kid to take his cup. Careful not to spill any, he scrawled his number across the plastic, signed it, and pressed it into the kid's lax grip.

"You should call me when you're done with classes for the day. You're going to be late" he noted softly, eyes sparkling, and the kid glanced down at the pink plastic watch around his wrist, spitting a curse.

"I'm- You're- But you just- Fuck, I'm gonna be late" the kid rushed out, tugging his bag strap tighter and taking a step, before looking across at Tony, down at his cup, back at Tony. His mouth opened and closed and then he spun on his heel, practically fleeing for the door. When Tony turned back to the counter for his own, Lolly was grinning at him.

"His name is Peter" she informed him cheerfully, holding out his dark roast. "And he has a shirt that says Mrs. Tony Stark".

Tony raised a brow. Does he now? He flashed Lolly a charming smile.

"I might ask him to see it sometime".

[nanoland]

posting this again in a shameless bid for attention (the usual 2-3 people who already give me plenty of attention pls ignore and also i love u <3)

(Also on AO3.) 

Clean Hands, part 4

Crowley/Dean Winchester/Castiel

Warning: Demon deals, violence, mention of abuse and torture. Also: Crowley is an abuse + addiction survivor and also a cold-hearted arsehole with very little respect or empathy for abuse + addiction survivors, and this story is written from his POV. 

0

What was there to be done when you were enamoured of a man who hit you?

Leave him! the whole world cried back in one voice.

Which was a bit like telling someone trapped in a burning car to get out of the car. Yes. Quite. Thank you. Fully agree. But what if, for a moment, you assumed I wasn’t as stupid as a fucking dog?

That, incidentally, was one of a handful of ways the world had worsened since Crowley last drew breath.

Back in the fourteenth century, the women in the marketplace had noted his black eye and torn dress with immediate understanding. Instead of insisting he pack his bags and walk out of the house belonging to his wealthy shoemaker husband, the father of his child, the man on whom his safety and good reputation and continued ability to eat depended, the man he, for some fucking reason, still loved, they’d actually tried to help.

Sybil had given him willow bark for the pain. Rose had engaged him in long, rambling conversations, stretching the minutes until he had to return home. Jane had walked across the village and rapped on his door every evening she could, always armed with solid excuses, just when the bastard was well and truly in his cups and looking for something to damage.

If ever analytical minds were to try to account for Crowley’s misanthropy and sadism, they couldn’t honestly conclude that either was due to his never experiencing true, heartfelt human kindness.

Yes, Sybil and Rose and Jane had all thought he was a woman and addressed him accordingly, and it had hurt. But that wasn’t their fault. He’d not had the courage to tell them otherwise.

Crowley didn’t regret much. Regret, in this game, was a slow-killing poison.

Still, he did occasionally wonder how things might have turned out if he’d accepted Jane’s invitation and fled with her to London that one warm night, rather than hanging in for years until he finally snapped and beat his husband’s skull into tooth-sized pieces with an iron kettle.

Returning to the present:

As Crowley watched Dean’s fist barrel towards his face, and not for the first time, he reviewed the pros and cons of incinerating him with hellfire.

When fist and nose were one millionth of an inch apart, he teleported across the room.

“Squirrel,” he sighed, “this has nothing to do with you.”

Dean charged and took another swing at him. “Fuck you! He worked so hard! Clean for four years, you piece of shit!”

This time, Crowley reappeared sitting on top of the dead man’s wardrobe, where Dean couldn’t reach him. “Good for him. His family and friends won’t remember him as the thieving, lying wretch he was ten years ago when he sold his soul for a pound of meth. They’ll probably give him a nice funeral.”

“Why couldn’t you make an exception? Just once?”

“That’s not how this works, Dean! It wasn’t even my deal! The contract is in the hands of a relatively inexperienced subordinate and honestly, I’m glad that she pulled it off. She’s got potential. This is her first real win. It’ll increase her standing in Hell and make her more powerful, which will be useful because some older demons have taken to bullying h-…”

“I don’t give a damn about your minions,” he snarled, picking up a lamp sprinkled with blood and throwing it at him. Crowley ducked. “Every last one of you can take an angel blade to the face, for all I care. You’re fucking parasites.”

Evenly, Crowley replied, “Yes. We are. You know that. You’ve always known that. Why are you having a fit about it now? Good people get dragged to Hell all the time.”

Dean stared down at what remained of Martin Booke, now that the hellhounds had left. “He worked so hard. Christ. You could have made an exception. He came to us and I swore I’d help him out.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have cocking well done that, should you?” Crowley cried, throwing up his hands.

Eyes wet, Dean sneered at him. “Parasite. Get out of my sight before I wring your evil neck.”

Crowley left.

Upon arriving back in Hell, he went to the Admissions Department.

The soul of Martin Booke was sitting in one of the cheap blue plastic chairs, knees drawn up to his chest. Probably still reeling from the trauma of the hounds ripping his throat out, though no damage was evident on his form now.

“Mr Booke,” Crowley said, sauntering up with his hands in his pockets. “Could you come with me, please?”

A door appeared in the nearest wall and swung open silently.

Once they were both standing inside Crowley’s office, it swung shut and dissolved into nothingness.

Moving to his liquor cabinet, Crowley said, “I hear you’re a Harvard man.”

“Um… y-yeah. Yes. I was.” Thin voice. Midwestern accent.

“Promising career ahead of you before things – ah – went awry.”

Booke swallowed. “Tom. First boyfriend. Got me into meth. Got me into a lot of stuff. I figured it was okay because we were gonna be together forever and as long as I had him, I’d be fine. Then he went and died and I had to pick up the pieces on my own.”

Smiling thinly, Crowley said, “Isn’t romance grand? As it happens, you may still get your happily ever after. Thomas Abbott is currently waiting in the eternal queue – which, ordinarily, is where you’d be headed.”

“Yeah. Dean told me. Although… um…”

“You have a question? Spit it out. Cowards bore me.”

“Dean said that when you sell your soul, you go to Hell and demons torture you until you become a demon. But he also told me about the queue thing. So that’s confusing. I mean, queuing sucks but it’s not torture.”

Crowley poured himself a glass of bourbon and sat down behind his desk. “Clever boy. Yes; when I became King of Hell, I restructured things. Most of you end up in the queue. The hot knives and whips are a speciality service and, as such, are reserved for our elite clientele. The pedos and Nazis and so forth – and, of course, anyone who pisses me off too much. As for the process of becoming a demon; that doesn’t actually require torture. I know! Surprised me too! We always thought it did, back when Lilith was in charge. Then I started running some tests and it turns out that becoming a demon is a bit like catching a virus; it’ll happen to anyone who hangs around other demons long enough. Everyone in the queue will have black eyes by the end of their first century.”

Booke took off his glasses and nervously rubbed them on his sleeve. “You said that ‘ordinarily’ I’d go to the queue. So am I an – uh – ‘elite client’?”

“Hah! No. Your little life was staggeringly boring and barely impacted anyone in ways either negative or positive. No, the reason you’re here is Harvard. See, I had a snoop and it seems that before you dropped out, you were getting bloody good grades.”

A wistful smile. “I guess. Had big dreams, once.”

Sipping his bourbon, Crowley said, “On track for a Master’s in aeronautical engineering, I believe.”

“Yep. I wanted to work for NASA.”

“Cards on the table, Booke: I might have a job for you. There is, at present, space in one or two of our departments for a man with your talents. But first I need to ask a question.”

He cocked his head. “Um. Sure? Anything’s better than what I was expecting. Shoot.”

“Do you know how to crash a spaceship?”

[justsmilestuffhappens]

Anonymous Prompt Queue 2.0

Listed in order of receiving them

*Thoughts / Details in a Reblog

1

Prompt: Eddie's parents are once again berating Eddie and pressuring him to yet again come back to Texas. Eddie's mom is particularly cutting with her words, and then Eddie's mom and Dad feel this frigid, menacing presence behind them. They turn to see Buck staring at them with the coldest eyes and looking angry in a way the NO ONE has ever seen him get. He towers over Ramon and Elena and when he speaks, it is a single word "Apologize." Color Eddie a bit scared and a lot turned on. 

2

Prompt: Sweet but smutty. Eddie gets insanely jealous of Abby being anywhere near Buck, even though she has a fiancé. After the train wreck, Eddie shows up at Buck's place and basically stakes his claim, making passionate love to Buck and biting his neck hard and way above the collar for everyone to see. When Buck does go to have a goodbye talk with Abby, Buck doesn't hide that he has someone too. They part with peace and smiles looking forward to the rest of their lives. 

3

Prompt: After the lawsuit Buck is all alone and all his attempts to get the team to see his side fail miserably. One night while trying to sleep, there is someone standing at the foot of Buck's bed. The intruder is suddenly on Buck, trying to strangle him. Buck ends up playing dead and when the guy lets go, Buck unleashes his own rage and beats his attacker to a pulp. Battered and bleeding, Buck calls Eddie who is furious until he gets that something is very wrong. Everyone comes running fast. 

4

Prompt: Elena and Ramon visit and maybe once again try to convince Eddie to come back to Texas, when Buck shows up and Eddie's parents can't help but be charmed. He is just so good with both Chris and Eddie. They are intrigued by him. They get more than they bargain for when Buck is tending to Chris and Chris asks Buck about his parents and Buck reveals that his parents actually starved him, even when he did nothing wrong. Cue Eddie's parents getting protective over Buck and apologizing to Eddie

5

Prompt: Maddie is heavily pregnant and she and Buck have lunch. They are heading back to Buck's car when this psychotic looking woman suddenly ambushes them demanding Maddie's baby because her own child died. The lady pulls out a taser and actually shoots it at Maddie, but Buck gets in the way. Maddie is stunned when Buck doesn't even flinch and proceeds to knock the psycho out cold. Help arrives, Buck is only concerned with Maddie and the baby, and chaos erupts when the firefam finds out. 

6

Prompt: Post-lawsuit Eddie wins a fight but his rage isn't budging. With Chris at Abuela's Eddie shows up at Buck's place. Buck is actually in no mood and tries to close the door when Eddie forces his way in and starts unloading on him. Buck is hurt to his core but instead of breaking, Buck snaps and verbally decimates Eddie in turn. Their tempers boil over and they are on each other, punching, kicking, almost bone-breaking which becomes bruising kisses, harsh bites, and cathartic lovemaking.   

7

Prompt: Eddie is mad at Buck over the lawsuit, they get trapped in a collapsed building with the air running out. Eddie stubbornly holds onto his anger but Buck comes up with the 'perfect' solution. He pulls a knife and prepares to use it on himself, like a stab to the heart or his jugular. Eddie freaks out and wrestles the knife away just as help finally arrives. Buck goes home expecting to be alone when Eddie barges in. Life affirming lovemaking happens, then Eddie takes Buck home to Chris

8

Prompt: Buck decides to try new things so as to to feel so lonely when the rest of the team bails on him. One such new experience is going to a Hollywood visual effects class where he volunteers to get made up to look severely injured or even dead. Pictures are taken and somehow a fee get accidentally sent to the team. By the time Buck gets home everyone is there frantic to see him and make sure he’s ok. Eddie is furious and of course he lashes out but Buck isn’t going to stand for it this time

9

Prompt: the murder hornet got me thinking of Buck shielding Chris at the park and getting stung badly. Carla calls 911 and Eddie and everyone rushes to Buck’s side. He’s thrashing in so much agony the doctors are having a hard time treating him. Buck literally begs Bobby or Maddie to KILL him. Horrified Eddie grabs him and kisses him hard, distracting Buck enough to get safely sedated. Cue the emotional turbulence and angst! 

10

Dialogue prompt: Upset Buck: I am not exhausting. I am not your husband and even though I would have loved being that, now I honestly don't think I should even want to be, not after what you've said, how awful you made me feel, and the fact that not once did you think to apologize for hurting me like you that. What you said to me that day at the grocery store has tainted how I see myself and every action I take. I give you my all Edmundo, but what do I really get in return from you? 

11

Dialogue Prompt: If Buckley was so wrong, how come he won his lawsuit? This department doesn't shell out millions of dollars to just anyone. You know, him refusing to take the money saved all of you from a world of hurt. Internal Affairs already have you all in its sights for some of the other crap you've all pulled. Had he taken the money, it would have been the keys to your little kingdom. We've been informed of how you and your team have been treating Buckley and it stops right this second.

12

Prompt: Buck's closure with Abby going different. Instead Abby and her fiancé show up at the station to thank Buck. It is like rubbing salt in a wound without them actually meaning to. Quietly furious and jealous Eddie materializes next to Buck. Buck is a bit taken aback when Eddie actually wraps his arm around him. Ironically Chris and Carla show up and both go running. Abby sees that Buck has a family of his own. Eddie of course gives Abby this silent, scathing look and the team does too.  

13

Prompt: Buck and Eddie somehow fall into water and Buck is trapped behind debris. Eddie is pulling at the stuff trying reach Buck. Buck reaches through a space in the debris and pulled Eddie in for a kiss before he shoves Eddie away and more debris falls between them. Eddie swims up to the surface and starts screaming in despair. Buck stays calm and somehow finds a way out. He pops up further away from everyone and has to walk back to the initial scene. He shows up like Eddie does in 3.15.  

As of the afternoon on May 19th

*I'll reblog this again with my first thoughts on them since it'll take time and this is already long

*side note a lot of these are gonna be altered either to lighten them up because I see them going down different or they've been done before and I'm adding my own spin

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader

Link to chapter two :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/613879271149223936/on-the-road-again

Warnings : None

Author’s note: HO BOY ! I can not believe I wrote so much in only one night.

3.      “ Text it Away “

The knot down your stomach was tightening with anxiety. 

You and your mother were at the grocery store , you were pushing around the shopping cart while your mother was talking to you , well at lest she pretend , but she just loves hearing herself talk , really. It seemed like a lot of families got the same idea than you, the mall was pretty crowded today. You were staring at your phone for the last ten minutes, wanting to text Gerard but had no idea how to start the conversation.

“Y/N are you even listening to me ?”

Your mom was staring at you disappointed.

“I’m sorry , you were saying?”

“We don’t get to spent much time together these days , could you even try to care ?”

You looked at your mom with a blank expression .

“So which book should I buy?” said your mom after a few seconds.

You realized that you were in the book section next to the music one.

“I don’t know . I don’t read that much.”

“And it’s a shame!”

You sighed , looking around you to set your eyes on the music section . You realized that next to the shelves of album was a life size cutout of Gerard . You started to laugh uncontrollably under the questioning look of your mom.

You asked your mom to take a picture of you in front of it doing the same posture that he did. You mom executed your request with a questioning look. After that both of you continued your shopping around the mall. You followed your mom , still hesitating on how to approach him. It was silly really, you were a grown up woman and you didn’t even knew how to write to one of your friends.

“Mom I’ll help pack the groceries to the car but meanwhile I think I’m gonna go get a coffee if that’s okay with you?”

Your mother sighed, her arms crossed over her chest.

“You may go. It’s not like you were paying attention to me anyway.” She said kind of tired.

You brushed it off and walked up to the exit of the market to land in the center of the huge mall. You put your headphone over your head not to hear any sounds . It was a special sounds blocking headphone often used to play drums. Your had a little smile on your lips finally tasting some calm after all this irritable noisy crowd. You took a hallway on your right already seeing the green neon of the Starbucks coffee . You weren’t a fan of them for a lot of reasons, but unfortunately it was the only coffee shop to provide a decent coffee in this mall.  You were listening to “The Regrettes” when you remembered you didn’t send the picture from earlier to Gerard.

You took your hands somewhat a little nervously , you suffered from social anxiety even though you knew how to hide it pretty well and appeared as an extrovert most of the time, but somehow being in your hometown didn’t help your anxiety .

-Hey look who I ran into today at the mall!

You texted to Gerard , making you cringe a little bit coz’ you sounded like a stereotypical mom who just texted her son on her way to her book literature club. But it’ll have to do right now.

You glanced at the window double checking, if anyone you knew from high school was there, when you checked that the perimeter was clear your phone buzzed .

It was Gerard

-Ho no … it’s so uncomfortable haha I didn’t even knew we had new ones installed in stores. Can you burn it alive for me pls ?

You smirk reading his text.

-No way , I think we’re becoming besties me and him . I will buy you one  , don’t worry, it’s on me , I know of much you wanted one . 😉

You breath out through your nose , laughing silently to yourself.

-You’re aware that if you do buy it , I’ll throw it in the garbage can , right?

A slight smile played on your lips while sipping on your coffee before it got cold.

-You mean your bed ?

As you waited his answer you glanced around the Starbucks to find it much more full of people . Most of them around your age . Sure where else were they gonna buy coffee from? I mean they probably don’t even know how to cook an egg , so a coffee must be a little too ambitious. An echo of a buzz made itself known before you even realized it .

-That’s low, even coming from you.

-Well I mean you understood it all , Way. Into your bunk you have breakfast and dessert reunited , it’s a win-win situation you got there , you can jerk off, sleep and eat in the same place , sounds pretty magical to me!

“Would you look at that ! L/N in bones and flesh! So what as you come back piggy ?”

You were so into your discussion with Gerard that you didn’t pay attention to your surroundings . Just your luck, Tyrell decided to take a fucking coffee at the same time than you , you hoped the gang wasn’t here , you didn’t want to have to staple a fake smile on your face for over thirty minutes.

“Tyrell hi. Can you not call me piggy please?” You breathed out trying to contain yourself and stay calm.

“Ho but babe it suits you so perfectly.” He said starting to take a seat in front of you.

Anxiety at this point wasn’t even enough to describe your mental state.

“Okay once and for all don’t call me piggy,babe,honey or any nicknames. You know living in the past can’t do you any good” You sat down the cup you just finished, looking him dead in the eyes.

“Well highschool’s not so long ago since you still look the same . So you haven’t given up music ? I mean you should think about doing a stable job now, you can’t dream all your life Y/N.” He said cockily .

“And remind me … What is your job ? Dealer right ?”

He chuckled a little, his arrogance radiating from him.

“I’m a lawyer student now.”

“Sweet o’ sweet irony.” At this your phone buzzed.

He glanced toward your phone , curiosity getting the best of you, you looked down at your phone.

-You should take notes ;p I could teach you my secret.

Gerard. You had forgotten you were texting him in the first place, since Mr.Dickhead had judge wise to come annoying you.

-Don’t even take credit for it , pretty sure it’s Frank fault . He’s the one with the magic. Maybe it should’ve been him on the life size cutout ?

You sighed remembering Tyrell was in front of you. Starring. Like a creep.

“Well it was an incredible thing to see you , but I actually have a thousand things better to do than talking to you.”

You took your cup ready to leave before he got the chance to talk back.

“Y/N !!!” A sudden voice called you. Ho no. The gang is here.

Your old group of friends were facing you and Tyrell , before you could do any move , you were wrapped up in a big hug by the girl who literally just yelled your name across the coffee.

“Hey what’s up Y/N ?” said the boy to the left side of the girl . Mallon .

“Well I’ll be better if Julia here would stop trying to hug the life out of me.”

Julia at your words stopped hugging you pouting like a child.

“You never give us news about you so it’s only fair .” replied Robert who was standing on the right of Julia.

“Not sure having me be dead would give you more new-“Your phone cut you off buzzing once again.

-Hey I help making the magic happen ! Next time you should come give us a hand 😉 And I’ll give him my place any time haha

Your cheek took a deep shade of red at the proposition. You chuckled a little to yourself at that. Replying immediately.

-You should have asked sooner , it’s always a pleasure to help a friend in need ! I hope when you’ll find one of my crumbs , you’ll think of me . And maybe you’re helping Frank in putting crumbs in your bunk but let’s be honest here … you’re just Frank’s assistant , he’s the real superstar here.

“Who’s Gerald?” Surprised you Julian creeping over your shoulder way too close . When did she even came all the way around you ?

“Could you respect something called personal space?” You replied a little harshly . But still , she did creep out looking at your texts.

She took a step back mumbling a tiny ‘sorry’ before asking the same question.

“Sooo…Who’s Gerald?”

“It’s Gerard for one and-“

“Is it Gerard Way?” Asked Mallon bluntly. You raised an eyebrow at him a little taken aback .

“Isn’t he in my Chemical Romance ?!” Added Julia a little too excited for it to be not without any expectations .

“Yeah… It’s like ….The lead singer or something right?” Asked Robert , much more calmly with a blank expression. Tyrell was looking way too interested in the matter . Now all four eyes of your ancient friends were on you.

“Huh Yeah he is . Mall how the hell do you even know who’s Gerard , I’m texting to ? Could be any other Gerard really!”

“Well, aren’t you like working with him?” Said Mallon before taking a large gulp of his drink.

“Haha ! So I was right your just useless in the music industry ! What even is your job ? Your in charge of bringing them refill of water bottles and shit?” Said with a vicious expression Tyrell, crossing both of his arms across his chest.

“No dude! She’s like the opening band of My chem.” Said Robert still with a blank expression . But with a little bit of venom in his tone. You and Robert used to be close, so you weren’t all that surprised to have him take your side.

“C’mon let’s sit guys, Y/N what about another free drink on me ?” He added , while the others were sitting in the seats . Before you could respond anything he took by the arm and lead you to the queue leading to the counter.

“You didn’t even let me-“ you started before being cut off for what felt like the dozen time this day.

“Were you really gonna say no to a free drink ? Even with you touring along a band like my chemical romance I can tell it doesn’t pays all that much.”

“What makes you so sure about yourself young men?” You said sounding somewhat a little flirty . Shit. He raised an eyebrow at that. But you brushed it off acting as if it always was your goal to come off as flirty.

“Well…What you seem to forget is that I actually know you Ms./N unlike the three idiots back there. If you’re in our sweet old hometown it isn’t to pay us a visit . Not when your mom’s home… We’ve crossed paths on our way down here.” He said giving you a glimpse of a smile , pointing his thumb in his back in direction of Julia, Mallon and Tyrell. You stared at them thinking.

Julia was small and curvy with cherry hair color and was dressed entirely in black with a yellow tote bag on her left shoulder . A plugging V neck black T-shirt associated with a black skinny jeans and classic vans. She had her cherry hair in a ponytail and was wearing a deep shade of read on her lips with liner and mascara to compliment her brown eyes . Tyrell still had his classic brown frizzy hair a perfect tan and brown eyes. He was wearing a jean jacket covered in pins a white shirt and black jeans with deep red docs. Mallon on his side had changed his hair color opting for a neon orange , he had curly hair just like Julia’s, wore glasses and was a little chubby. He wore a leather jacket with a forest green sweatshirt and black skinny jeans with massive new rocks.

You glanced up at Robert who was rolling a cigarette . He had still the same straight blond hair in a buzzcut, lip piercing. He was wearing a large dark shirt with cuts in random places , grey skinny jean, black converses, black fingernails and a large silver chain around his neck. The only thing that seemed new were tattoos sleeves on both arms and not entirely complete. It was somewhat comforting to know he hadn’t change all that much.

Your phone buzzed.

-          Ho man, He always was, was he? Maybe I should just give up the place of lead singer to him, and let him the superstar he always was…

A huge smile was stretching across your lips.

-          Hell no, it’ll be chaotic to have you as rhythm guitarist or guitarist, period! Just stick to the basis, love. Or else your band would be over before you can even play a live show.

You returned your attention to Robert who still was waiting a response. You truly wanted to prove him wrong but you knew, it would be stupid , to try denying it to him.

“Yeah… Well at least I have a job Ro’. “ You exhaled dramatically at him.

“ Yeahhhh well I also ben happening to have a job Y/N/N”

“What ? Wait, really? You dropped out of college ? What’s your job? “

“Yeah design school wasn’t what I thought y’know? The people there were all so fake. Didn’t like it too much like high school , and I didn’t graduated to end up in a working place with the same mindset. I’m a security guard for now but I’m taking part-time classes in a marketing school. I want to open my own music label someday.”

“Woaw… Man that’s huge . I mean it’s like awesome if that’s your dream I’m just surprised . But I guess I shouldn’t be since you’re here and your design school was in London so it makes sense I guess.”

Your phone buzzed.

-          Ho really now ? Is that why you’re starring, every time, I’m playing guitar? Is it because I’m such an painful sight to the human eye , now?

Your face grew hotter once again as you typed your response before embarrassing yourself further.

-          Yeah it’s so awful that I’ve been trying to subtly tell you to never play guitar again for the past months . Guess you never took the hint.

You drew back your attention at Robert .

“By the way Ro’ , what are you even doing with them? I though we’ve left the band at the same time…?”

He looked unsure of what to say next .

“We did Y/N, we did… I just. I came back , and you were gone y’know? All of my other friends were gone too. I was all by myself and it seemed to be the only people to have stick ‘round so I’ve just started to hang out with them again.”

The waitress asked what you both wanted to have before you were able to think of a sentence. She gave an unhappy glance at Ro’s cigarette tucked unlit on the corner of his pinched pink lips.

“Your names please?”

You shared a knowing look with Ro’ before saying yours first.

“Kurt” She wrote as you said on the empty cup.

“Cobain” finished your friend with a shitty grin plastered over his face as the waitress rolled her eyes.

Once you both had your cups in hand you headed toward the exit of the Starbucks , Ro’s explaining to the other that he wanted to take a smoke. You headed for the parking lot.

“Tyrell’s still mad at me though.”

“What , seriously? God, I whish I didn’t slept with him at this party . Seriously I was just so drunk plus it was so long ago. He’s just jealous. He called me piggy again.”

“Well I’m not complaining , was worth it. Yeah I know that’s just his shitty jealousy , I mean after all , I get it, he had slept with you one night. I ,on the other side , had been with you for two years so I clearly won over this asshole.”

“You sure did haha.” Comfortable Silence filled your conversation .

Your phone buzzed. Right. Gerard. You’ll check later .

“Can I have a shot on yours?” You said glancing at his cigarette.

He handed you the end.

“Y/N it was nice to see ya . I’m gonna join them, take care.” He said kissing you on both cheeks .

“Huh Yeah , you too dude.” You watched him getting further away as you were ending his cigarette , before smashing it against the cold pavement.

“HEY RO’! LET’S HANG OUT BEFORE I GO ?” You asked yelling across the parking lot. You smiled happily as he raised a thumb up.

Once he disappeared into the mall , you took a look at your texts.

-          Ho was it now? Yeah , right I’m probably getting’ ideas. Well Frank’ll have to stick as the rhythm guitarist then. Oh man, he’s gonna be so disappointed . Guess I’ll be the one to break the news to him, he’s gonna be so disappointed not the be the next superstar of the band.

You laughed a little, taking the path leading to your mom’s car , texting your response .

-          Don’t fool yourself he still is the superstar .

-          Well , how come he isn’t he the one on the cutouts then?

-          Coz’ he’s one generous motherfucker. And It’s because your music label’s been distributing cutouts of you all across the country as a joke for your second album. But then they realized you believe it for real and they haven’t had the heart to break your dreams so they stick to it making you believe it was real and everybody’s been playing along since then. The fans are being paid to make you believe they cheer for you when they usually cheer for Frank obviously.

Your mom was just done putting away the groceries in the back of the car when you opened the passenger’s door.

-          Gotta to admit sounds like him haha. And what about Ray and Mikey in all of that ? And I don’t want to rain on your parade but I’m pretty sure they sometimes cheer for me along with Mikey and Ray.

Your mom started the car.

“Oh guess who I came across in the mall? Robert! I mean he was also with a girl and a boy but I didn’t knew them.”

Your mom never met them, because of her job. She wasn’t around long enough to meet most of your friends.

“You and Robert were the cutest I remember! Such a polite young man and good looking too! Aren’t you getting lonely always on the road like this? I hope you’ll meet someone, you know it shouldn’t stop you from looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend-

You sunk down on your seat , turning to face the window, looking down at your phone drowning the rambling of your mom .

Your phone buzzed.

-          What about you?

You frowned at your screen .

-          What about me ?

-          Well are you getting paid to cheer for me?

-          I’m the most paid one coz’ I have to put up with your bullshit after the show too.

-          Right so you’re some kind of a creepie groupie then.

-          You wish . I don’t think you can call me a groupie if I’m paid for faking it , call me a talented actress.

-          You mean a infamous one since you’re so desperate for work you accepted to be paid to pretend to like a band in which you don’t even like the lead singer.

-          Touché…

-          Unless you actually like the lead singer you pretend to hate ?

[donaidk]

Marcus Armstrong - Almost Home I.

In advance: This is getting a Part 2 for sure. I don’t want to leave it here, but at the same time I felt like it would be really long if I left it in one piece. Turns out I have a whole lot of inspiration for Marcus fics right now. 😂 I also wanna let everyone, who’s waiting for their request, know that uni is starting next week for me. It means less free time, but I will make sure to finish every one of them in the next week or so, and then focus on all the series I started. There’s gonna be slower updates to them, but I’ll make sore to have one or two per week at least. Hopefully they won’t try to kill us in the starting weeks and I will finish up the Lando one so I could start posting that every week and just add some parts from the others to the queue 😊

Thank you Anon for requesting this one though, and sorry for the wait. Hope you will enjoy it and as it’s almost the next day here, have a really happy start to your Friday everyone 🧡

Kind of Taglist: @mickschumcher​, @art-gp​

Title Song | Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

With the Australian GP knocking on the door Melbourne filled up with tourists and fans even more than usual. The first time I got to witness it in 2017 was actually scary in a way for someone who didn’t know the city well yet. Getting from one part of the city to another was a hard task already, and all the shouting and crazy fans weren’t of much help when I tried to get some usable info out of them so I could finally get to my destination and get off the streets. It almost held me back from choosing Melbourne’s university, but I had to remind myself that it was just once a year and I shouldn't give up my plans because of it. Melbourne was beautiful and their schools were highly rated, giving me everything for a stable future. Luckily I was never disappointed by my choices as it was easy to get used to the life here and I even found some new friends who helped me every time I felt homesick. It wasn’t the worst usually, as I was truly content with how my life was going, but sometimes it just hit me out of nowhere and in those moments they were always there for me.

It was now the third year when we lived through the race weekend, meaning we finally had a working schedule with which we still followed our usual plans but stayed out of the bigger crowds. Although we were in the middle of the semester we always found time to enjoy the still warm weather and spend most of our free time outside. Usually our choice was the beach for the afternoons as even though it was packed until noon, the tourists never stayed for long. We usually arrived in the late afternoon and stayed well after the sun went down, and the temperature went down a little finally. The water usually stayed comfortable until later in the evening making it bearable for almost a whole 24 hours if you weren’t squeamish. Even if you were after spending a few weeks at the beach, everyone got used to it.

As soon as everyone finished with their lectures we got our things together and took the 5 minutes walk down to the beach. We had a favourite spot which was luckily never taken when we got down there. For a few minutes we just sat down, talking about our weeks. I shared a dorm room with two other girls, but we had a few friends who had their own apartments or lived with their family a bit farther away from our university. We usually had one or two days every week to catch up with them as in between lectures we were either too tired or didn’t have the time to do so. But most of the afternoons were ours fully and we used it the best we could to relax but still use that time to make memories for the few years we’re spending together. We could say it’s gonna stay the same after we graduate but everyone knew we would move to different countries as soon as we weren’t connected to Australia. Even I planned to go home, although I enjoyed living here and getting to be independent without my family behind my back.

“ Are you coming? ” One of the girls asked me, as they were already walking down to the water, while I was still standing around our towels with my phone in my hand. I was in the middle debating which sunset photo I should post from my gallery, but her voice made me look up.

“ Just a second. I’ll catch up. ” I smiled at her before looking back down at my screen. In the end my finger finally tapped the posting button and I pushed it aside while I got the sundress off that was on over my bikini.

Right before I would have ran after the girls, the device was back in my hands so I could check that the picture uploaded without a problem. A smile got on my face when I saw a reaction from one of my family members but as soon as it showed the whole list of the people who looked at my story, it faded away. For the past few months whenever I posted something he was always there in the first few seconds or at least minutes. I couldn’t understand what changed that he showed up in my life again, but I didn't really want to give him space in my thoughts either. It has been almost 4 years since we last talked and could call each other best friends, but I wasn’t about to take the first step and message him after he forgot about me until now. I just dropped my phone back into my bag, closing it and then caught up with my friends so they could make me forget about him again.

We spent quite some time in the water, swimming a few laps back and forth before just standing around and enjoying the last rays of sunshine while we chatted away. My thoughts were already in a different direction thanks to all the different topics that came up between us. Sometimes it was harder to make me forget time and time again, but turns out today I only needed some distraction and everything was set for an enjoyable night. With the sun completely off the sky the temperature dropped quickly and it was getting a bit chilly  for my liking in just a few minutes. When it was truly uncomfortable I gave up and walked back to the shore, sitting down on my own blanket and draping my towel around my shoulders. It immediately brought enough warmth over my body that I stopped shivering and could wait for them until they would get cold too. Until then I just went onto my phone to go through some posts of my friends. Sometimes I looked up to check on them just so they wouldn’t leave me out of something. One of those times I saw a person coming my way and although I didn’t mind too much attention to it, when he continued and there was no one else in my close proximity I felt like he might be coming to me. In the end I was right as he turned right towards me and then stopped just a few steps away from our blankets.

“ Never thought you would exchange our lovely and perfect red stars for ugly white ones. ” He spoke up and I could recognise the voice even though his face was almost unseeable thanks to him standing with his back towards the moon. My jaw dropped immediately and I felt like I grew roots into the ground as I couldn’t move my body. “ If you want me to fuck off, just tell me. It’s okay. I just thought we could maybe talk, and from the pictures I saw that you’re here. Hoped you didn’t go home yet so I could catch you and... ” He started rambling but I was quick to finally push myself up and hug him immediately. I always imagined our reunion with me being angry at him, but somehow I couldn’t get myself to feel that way now that he was standing right in front of me.

“ You idiot. ” I told him not leaving any space for questions and I could feel as he finally relaxed and hugged me back. “ The biggest in the whole world. ” I added with a sigh, closing my eyes as my brain started functioning again and I had an urge to kick his shin at least.

“ I can live with that. ” Marcus let out a laugh and I could feel as my heart jumped a little at the sound. It was something that always reminded me of our home and spending every possible second together. “ I’m sorry for disappearing. ” He let out a sigh, letting go of me only when we realised my wet bathing suit soaked his shirt, although even he didn’t care about it for too long.

“ What are you doing here? I thought F2 wasn't coming here. ” I asked him confused, knowing that we wouldn’t be in this situation if he traveled here for one of the races in the past two years. “ Not like I’m complaining, but I can hardly believe my own eyes and senses. ” I shook my head a little before looking up at him again. He changed, quite a bit since we last met and even though I saw pictures of him it was different in a face-to-face situation.

“ Ferrari invited a few of us so we could gather some experience. The speed I accepted the offer with might have raised some eyebrows. ” Marcus hid his face in his palm, making me chuckle as I could see the situation unfold in front of my eyes like I was there. “ Thought I would DM you and ask if you wanted to meet up maybe. But I realized it would be better offline. ” I had to roll my eyes at his first idea although I knew he wasn’t lying and it for sure went through his brain as a real possibility.

“ You’re lucky you didn’t. I would have blocked you forever I think. My plan was connecting my fist with your face if we ever meet again, right until you showed up here. ” I shook my head with a smile, as I wasn’t proud of what I wanted to do to him. “ I was really angry when you just stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to reach you, but it felt like you didn’t even exist anymore even though they were talking about you almost every week. ” I sighed, sitting back down and leaving enough space for him too.

“ Would have been deserved actually. ” His fingers scratched at the nape of his neck and I could see the tint of purple traveling up his neck. I watched him as he sat down, pulling his legs up and resting his arms onto them. “ I really am sorry. For a part everything got busy with all the training, races and studying, but at the same time I know damn well a message here and there should have been possible. I messed up, everything. ” His eyes shined even in the minimal light of the moon, and I could get myself to look away. Even feeling the burning stares on my back from my friends didn’t get me to turn around.

“ I won’t say that it’s okay, but I accept your apology. How could I not. ” I let out a breath that I realized was still stuck in me since the initial surprise took over my body. “ It feels like we didn’t even skip over like 3 years of each other’s life. Only difference is that you’re finally taller than me, but the baby face’s still there. ” My hand went up to his cheek to pat it gently like my grandma did for him all the time when he came over for lunch. He always hated it but knew that it was a gesture of love from her and a way to show Marcus that she considered him part of our family.

“ Yeah, I guess it’s going to stay forever. ” Marcus huffed, moving his head back a little to avoid my attack, although he failed miserably. “ I almost forgot, congrats for uni. I remember how hard you were studying to get in. Everyone home was ecstatic when I told them about it. ” His hand slapped his forehead, making me laugh with his expression at the slight stinging he caused himself.

“ Thank you, but it’s nothing compared to your second place last year. ” I shrugged a little but as soon as his lips pulled into a slight smirk my eyes rolled on their own. “ Surprise, surprise, I followed your career. Just as much as you followed my life for the past few months. ” I poked him in the ribs with my finger, making him wince for a second before we both started laughing at the little sound he made.

“ Fair. I still hate how Instagram shows who opened your stories. ” He shook his head a little and both of our heads turned towards the water when we realized the background chatting was getting closer and closer to where we were sitting. They were just a few meters away when my eyes landed on their figures and I sensed when Marcus stood up from next to me, making me push myself up too.

I didn’t feel too anxious about him meeting my other friends, although I knew what this meant for my evening at the dorm with them. They would have an immense amount of questions both about him and us, even though I already mentioned him when we were bringing up our past. A few of them even knew about my past feelings about him and how him reappearing on my socials played with my emotions, but they only saw a few photos of him. This was another level and I knew he would be the topic for at least the next week between us, for one reason or another. Depends on how we get on from this point and if we manage to keep in contact when they have to fly away again.

“ Oh, I knew it wasn’t just my imagination. I told you someone was coming here. ” My roommate spoke up as soon as they got close enough to make us out from the darkness. “ You’re Marcus, right? ” She stepped right in front of him, reaching her hand out while introducing herself. I always admired her boldness even in front of strangers.

“ Yes, although I didn’t know so many people knew me from here. ” Marcus let out an uneasy chuckle, looking at me a bit concerned. I just shook my head dismissively, almost telling him that it was just a ‘Girl group’ thing. Relief washed over me though that I didn’t share a lot about him, behind his back.

I watched from the sideline as everyone introduced themselves to him and for a second it felt domestic as all of them shot me a concerned glance towards me. It felt like they would pounce at him if they saw that I was uncomfortable in his presence. While it made me feel loved in a way, I also didn’t want them to really chip on the situation. It was something that better dealt with in private as I felt like we had to talk lots of things through to get back to the friendship we left behind years ago. This wasn’t the setting for a conversation like that.

“ We should probably get home before it gets really late. School won’t wait in the morning. ” I spoke up before any of them could start questioning him. We would never be able to get going then. “ Maybe we can catch up sometime before the race? I’m sure you will have enough to do during the weekend. ” I turned back towards Marcus who looked just as relieved as I did seconds ago.

“ Yeah, that would be better. Maybe lunch, or a coffee in the afternoon? Whenever you’re free of course. ” He nodded a little, still glancing at the girls who were either packing up or staring him down behind me.

“ I’m up for either of those. Surprise me. ” I grinned at him, feeling the pull on my arm when everyone was ready. “ Is your number the same? ” I asked him, already taking a step back, but waiting for his answers.

“ Yes. Never changed. ” Marcus nodded again, a little smile playing on his lips at the idea that we’re going to meet up again probably. At least I hoped so. Why else would he stalk me down and come up to me for a chat?

“ I’m gonna text you in the morning when’s my last lecture. We can meet up after that. ” I told them, before turning around with one last wave and catching up to my group. I could only hope that they would at least let me sleep before the questions start pouring out of them all at once.

[fics-not-tragedies]

One Day in December: Chapter 2 🎇

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - epilogue

I’ll post this fic every day from now, no matter if there’s something already scheduled for that day or not.

Words:  2070; Warnings: none, unless you want a warning for drinking, few curses and smoking then you have it; Summary: Another year of Christmas party, another meeting with Bianca.

Hozier tag list:

@letoursilencebreaktonight​​​; @angelpeachamber​​​; @sgt-morgan​​​; @julessbrown​​​;

December 2011

Andrew walked into the party, arm around her waist, smiling and nodding at the faces he recognized… even the ones he didn’t.

And here he was, back at the same Christmas party.

“I’m going to get something to drink Andrew…” she smiled and headed for the kitchen.

And then he was left alone… the other guys didn’t arrived yet.

“Look who it is.”

Andrew turned, startled by the familiar voice.

Bianca.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, surprising himself when he leaned in for a hug. The last time he’d seen her was a year ago; when he was being escorted from the party by his mates. Bianca squeezed him tight, beyond happy that he was here again. She’d not had any way to contact him after last year’s party.

Yet here they were.

“I never got to ask you… but I assume you got home alright last year?” she bit her lip, trying to hide her smile. The memory of a very drunk Andrew was still fresh in her mind.

“Oh…” he chuckled, his cheeks flushing a bit. It was funny, he was a year older, but he seemed a little more introverted than he had the year before, “I did. Yes. I was em… very ill.”

“All over the neighbor’s lawn?”

Andrew’s eyes widened, “How did you know…?”

Bianca giggled, “Alex said you probably would.”

“Ryan…” Andrew muttered, glancing around for his tinnier, bass-playing counterpart. But alas, his mates still weren’t there yet.

“Andrew…?” A young woman, probably with Indian roots judging by her looks, suddenly popped up at his side, drinks in either hand, “Who’s this?” she asked, handing him a glass. Her cool grey eyes sized Bianca up, assessing whether or not she was a threat.

“This is Bianca… met her last year” Andrew explained, his smile much bigger than his girlfriend probably wanted to see. But he couldn’t help it… he was genuinely happy to see her again.

When introductions had been made, Bianca stood there awkwardly, not feeling quite as comfortable as she had been when it was just her and Andrew. Perhaps it was the icy cold shoulder she was getting from his girlfriend… which could’ve just all been in her head… but either way… she wasn’t into it.

“I’m gonna… just… grab another drink” Bianca murmured, trying to disguise the fact that her glass was nearly full, but Andrew had spotted it. He glanced at her drink and up to her eyes, silently begging her not to go.

She smiled, tight-lipped and escaped into the kitchen. It was easier this time around; she knew people better, and she lived there more than a year now, so she didn’t feel like an outcast. What she did feel was stupid. Stupid that she thought she actually had a chance with Andrew. That they both just show up this time and everything would be the same as last year… but it wasn’t. And to top it off; he had a girlfriend this year. And she was pretty and she probably most likely couldn’t compete with her.

She watched them through the kitchen doorway, the way her arm was wound around his, and rolled her eyes, gulping down her drink. When she finished, she made herself another, and so on and so on…

*

Even though Andrew was by his girlfriend’s side the entire night, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Bianca for a moment. He thought about her a lot since last year… more times that he cared to mention. It was a funny thing, a chance encounter…he didn’t think he’d see her again. He’d hoped but… what was he to do about it now? He remembered laughing with her an awful lot last time. But he was with his girlfriend now and he loved her very much.

He found himself wandering the party later, on his own while his girlfriend was chatting with friends. He hadn’t seen Bianca in awhile and… he wondered if she’d left. There was another line for the bathroom, but this time, the people in it were very irritable. Apparently they’d been waiting an awful long time to get in. In his gut, he had an inkling who was behind that door.

“Pretty girl in there… short like… shoulder-length hair? Wearing em… a dress?” A few of them nodded at Andrew’s awful description of Bianca. But it was enough, so he knocked gently on the door, pressing his ear against it, “Bianca? Is that you in there?”

There was a long pause before he heard her croak, “Andrew?”

“Yeah love, it’s me. Are you alright? Let me in” he could hear her groan and he tried the handle, “Bianca… it’s just me… no one else.”

A second later, he heard the lock click and he tried the handle again.

“Hey!” Someone shouted when he went to slip inside.

“Look… she’s feeling ill… give her a break. There’s a bathroom in the main bedroom… use it” Andrew snapped at them before shutting the door behind him. When he turned around, his heart ached at the sight of Bianca all curled up on the floor, “Fuck” he murmured, wondering why he decided to be so heroic.

“Andrew” she whispered, her mascara running down her cheeks, “I… don’t look at me.”

Andrew chuckled, and crouched down next to her, “I’m sorry… I have to. Just checking to see if you’re alright.”

“I’m not” she responded, sighing heavily and attempting to wipe the mascara she could feel running down her cheeks.

“Well… when’s the last time… you booted in there?” He asked her, checking for signs of… debris.

“Awhile ago… I just… I can’t get up and go out there.”

She was coherent and she could speak full sentences, which was more than he could say for himself when he got completely pissed, “Hmm… well… how about I help you? Get you cleaned up?”

“Okay…” she whispered, completely embarrassed that Andrew had been the one to find her.

Andrew got up and searched the little cabinet for a washcloth to wipe her face with. He also found a brush for her hair. He’d never taken care of a girl when they’d been sick before… the guys had all had their fair share of drunken debauchery, but they really didn’t behave like this.

He wet the towel and squeezed it out before crouching beside her again, “Here, I’m gonna just… wipe your face… em, is that alright?”

She looked up at him with her pretty hazel eyes and nodded solemnly. He smiled and held her chin, gently wiping her cheeks and around her eyes. He cleaned around her hairline and the ends of her hair that might’ve had some sick stuck in it, and then across her mouth with the other corner. He felt bad he’d taken all her makeup off but… she looked a thousand times better.

“How’s that? Feel better?” He asked her, his eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yes. Much.”

“Can you stand up?” He offered her his long arm, and slowly stood with her, helping her smooth out her dress. “C’mon… come over to the sink… we can comb your hair and I think maybe find some mouthwash in the medicine cabinet.”

Bianca took one look at herself in the mirror and gasped, “Oh God… I look awful.”

Andrew frowned, “What? No you don’t.”

“Yes. I do. I’m an idiot” she grumbled something else to herself, something Andrew couldn’t quite hear, but he nudged her.

Hey… if it’s about the makeup… for what it’s worth… I think, em, you look much prettier without it. Not that, em… not that you looked bad before or anything but… just… I can see your freckles now” he grinned at her and she laughed, “And your eyes. They’re a really pretty greenish color, em, kinda like mine.”

“Hazel” she replied, her cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink.

“Right. Hazel. Good color. I like it” they stared into each other’s eyes a little bit too long, the both of them swaying towards each other before Andrew remembered where he was and what he was doing, “Em… mouthwash!” he exclaimed and wretched open the cabinet, rifling through.

Bianca kept swaying, her eyes dreamy and hazy admiring Andrew. He was so soft looking, his fluffy brown curls framing his beautiful face. She found herself wanting to reach out and touch them, and she would’ve had he not retrieved the mouthwash and thrust it in her direction.

He watched and waited while she swished it around and spit into the sink. He handed her the brush and she fixed her hair, fluffing it a little so she didn’t look like a drowned sewer rat. Which was precisely how she felt.

“Ready to head out there?” Andrew asked her softly, after he stopped staring at her in the mirror. He needed to not think about her this way. Not now. Not in such close proximity.

“Yes. You go first.”

He laughed, “Alright. Just… follow me.”

She nodded and he cracked the door open, the line having shortened down to only a few partygoers who looked to be new to the queue, so he felt confident swinging the door back to waltz out. Bianca was hot on his heels as they made their way down the hallway back to the party. He wasn’t quite sure how long they’d been gone for, but the mood seemed to have shifted. He didn’t see anyone he knew as they walked through the living room and into the kitchen.

“Water. You need water” he smiled at her, and opened the fridge looking for a bottle. He grabbed two and opened it for her before handing it over, “Drink some of that and we’ll go outside and get some fresh air, yeah?”

Bianca nodded and they crept out the side door to a little patio. It was no bigger than a few tiles and some dead shrubs the winter had claimed for its own. They both shivered and laughed as the cold air hit their lungs and stung their cheeks.

“Fuck it’s cold” Andrew laughed, puffs of air leaving his mouth with each breath. He searched his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter while Bianca shook and bounced from foot to foot. She drank her water dutifully, feeling much better now in the fresh air.

Andrew raised his eyebrows at her as he took a deep drag and exhaled. Bianca smiled at him in his thin cigarette-style trousers and his button down shirt. Her heart raced, getting to spend so much time with the boy she’d crushed on for an entire year.

Crush.

He was a silly crush and she knew it was dumb… but maybe… he could just be her Christmas boyfriend. The sweet guy she got to see just once a year who was always very nice to her. It could be their little thing, even though he could never know she thought of him that way.

There was a bang on the glass and there was Cormac with his girlfriend and Andrew’s right behind her. The three of them came out onto the patio into the blistering cold, teeth chattering as they interrupted Andrew and Bianca’s quiet little moment.

It was fine now… everyone was nice and silly and bubbly, and even though Bianca and Andrew were no longer alone… she was okay with it. She wasn’t a home-wrecker. It just wasn’t meant to be.

*

Bianca was grabbing her coat when Andrew popped into the bedroom.

“Hey… I… em… just wanted to say goodbye. We’re… leaving” he smiled, thumbing his hand in the direction of the door.

“Yeah… me too” she smiled, shrugging her coat on.

“Are you feeling better now?” He asked her warily, collecting their coats.

She nodded, “I am. Thank you for… tonight. Thanks for helping me.”

Andrew’s smile stretched from ear to ear, “Anytime, love” he wanted to hug her, and before he changed his mind, he did it. One last time.

Bianca closed her eyes, breathing him in, swaying in place again as she squeezed him back. She giggled when he let her go and he pointed at her.

“Ah! There it is; that smile!” He headed for the door, turning back just before he crossed the threshold, “I’ll see you next year, yes?”

She nodded brightly, “Yes. I think so.”

“Alright. Good. Merry Christmas, Bianca” he grinned, nodding his head and tapping his hand on the door frame.

“Merry Christmas, Andrew.”