#not even because i'd be a convert but because i'm weird and awkward and weird

[son-of-avraham]

Is it just me or does anyone else have the masculine urge to drop everything and become an ultra orthodox chossid who stays entirely in the ultra orthodox world ?? Im a convert and a trans male so the likelihood of that ever happening is slim but it’s nice to daydream 🙃

Honestly yeah 🥲

[copperbadge]

I guess you probably get asked why you’re converting a lot but I still want to ask,

I dunno, I don't think I really get asked all that much, to be honest. Usually when I do it's like -- I mention I'm converting to a Jewish person and they'll be like "Getting married?" and I'll explain I'm not, which does necessitate an additional explanation.

It's difficult to vocalize, which is interesting because it has really very little to do with faith, and that's usually the most difficult part of discussing any conversion, I think. Often I'll just say, "I heard a call". Which is actually a rather Christian way of putting it, but I think it's probably the easiest way to explain, especially in a heavily Christian culture.

I had...I don't want to call it religious trauma exactly because compared to most people I know who exited Christianity, it wasn't traumatic -- I was just raised in Christianity and had trouble buying the faith in the various ways it was presented to me, and there's a certain type of ardent Christian who comes at you hard if you're in their church asking awkward questions. A few encounters with some egregious megachurches in my youth left a bad taste in my mouth, so in my twenties I really wanted nothing to do with religion and didn't have the time or energy anyway -- I wasn't actively anti-religion, just disinterested.

But in my thirties I had to ask myself, do I wish to be part of a faith community? And once I'd decided that despite being pretty heavily agnostic I did want that in my life, I had to decide what I wanted it to look like. There are churches within many branches of Christianity that are fine, and there are whole branches that are fine too, but I kept tripping over my disinterest in Jesus. I did almost become a Quaker but although I really like a lot of the Friends' attitudes towards social justice and I enjoyed silent Meeting, it eventually didn't feel quite right for me (the Quakers in my life refer to me as "Friend-ly"). I looked into Zen Buddhism but didn't click with it in quite the way I'd hoped.

Judaism didn't feel perfect, but unlike other faiths, after several years of study I have yet to reach a point where it feels "not for me" in the way the others did after a few months; even when I struggle with some aspects, instead of saying "I don't think this is it" I dig deeper, and Judaism is a place where you can just...keep digging. I like the sense of history, I like the idea that you can argue not only with other Jews but with the divine itself and maybe even win; I don't like arguing but I like that the option is there, which it never was in my Christian confirmation classes. I like the way Judaism frames community and family, I like the emphasis on scholarship and exploration. I've had to unlearn a lot of weird Christian and atheist attitudes about the Torah, but that's been educational too. Ancient cultures have always interested me and Judaism is sometimes the practice of actively conversing with ancient history that has been incredibly preserved but not calcified. I like that I can be an agnostic Jew if I so choose, once I finish conversion.

(Sometimes I joke, "Eh, I'm not really a huge fan of pork, either, so it's an excuse not to eat pork chops," but that's a joke for very specific company. I don't keep kosher or plan to, but I like that there is an option to show one's devotion through acts of nourishment, and that food is always such a huge part of Jewish ritual. And I like Jewish food.)

There is something in me that reacts to Jewish storytelling -- the fear and fasting of Esther, discourse on the sacrifice of Isaac, grumpy Rabban Gamliel from the Talmud, even the history of the Piazza Alla Cinque Schole when I stumbled into it in Rome. I didn't care particularly about the story of Moses when I learned it as a child, but I sniffle at the parting of the Red Sea in Prince of Egypt every damn time. Not even because of the miracle! I'm simply moved by the vision of a people going to freedom, scared but going, protecting each other and singing as they go.

Anyway. I'm in a conversation with Judaism that isn't over yet, and either eventually I'll reach a point where it ends, or I'll convert and be in this conversation the rest of my life. Kind of fun not to know yet which it will be.

[laconchadetumadre]

Hey girly first time popping in here >:)

Kystophe whump or hurt/comfort headcanons, 1, 2, 3 go!!!

omg HELLO HII thank you for leaving an ask1!! <3 im sorry it took a while to answer, as you can see im a certified yapper and had to edit this so it made sense cause i basically write down my thoughts as they come lol

anyways so here' a few kystophe hurt/comfort headcanons!

christophe being the only other person who gets kyle:

kyle and christophe have a lot in common. they are both outsiders though for different reasons (kyle is excluded for being jewish, christophe is a foreigner but also rejects “the system” on his own accord).

kyle has always been different because of his beliefs (religious or political) and ostracized for it. In later seasons we've seen him become more exhausted, almost like he is slowly being broken down. Most recently in “world privacy tour” Kyle is afraid he's being left out by his friends, so he tries to change his "brand" to ensure this wont happen.

what i'm trying to emphasize here is that Kyle internalizes his otherness. He doesnt realize he shouldn't be ostracized for it and instead tries to hide what makes him different (it's a jersey thing) or change it (world privacy tour). He doesn't change the system, he changes himself to fit in it.

so I feel like at first Christophe would think Kyle is spineless because he unknowingly endorses the system that oppresses him. However, he’d quickly come to realize that kyle is anything but that.

the reality is that kyle is only obedient as long as he is ignorant. take, for example, the end of obesity special where kyle was unaware of the flaws of the american healthcare system and genuinely believed that all it took to navigate it was willpower. but after finding out the truth, he quickly takes to action and even violence.

Christophe and kyle react angrily to injustice but believe in very different solutions to it. While Christophe is almost nihilistic and believes that the system is broken and corrupted (and therefore has to be overthrown), kyle is more hopeful (lawful even). kyle would opt for reformation rather than revolution (which is the perfect catalyst between him and christophe, heck this could even lead them to face each other in opposing factions)

despite this I think christophe would still try to push Kyle towards rebellion (I mean he’d do that with just about anybody who’d listen lol) christophe might get kyle to realize he doesn't have to change himself to fit in but I don't think kyle would ever become radicalized like christophe

in short, i think the hurt/comfort (or rather comfort and then hurt) would come from the fact that christophe is possibly the only person who could understand and believe in kyle’s ideals but he would never get kyle to fully convert to rebellion (this could even parallel gregory who ig tried to get wendy to pick him over stan, thinking she was like-minded and liberal only for wendy to turn on him at the end lol)

2. kyle inevitably having to choose between the m4 and christophe

i think this would be like a kip drordy situation where the other boys dont want to hang out with christophe and, in turn, wind up avoiding kyle because christophe just won't leave his side.

i hc that, despite his cool facade, christophe is very socially awkward. not "shy" awkward but "says weird shit" type of awkward. He'd definitely put the other kids off. i'd actually go as far as to say he is homeschooled (which is why we never see him again after bigger longer and uncut safe for that one time in "two guys in a hot tub" and totally not because mattrey forgot about him) and so kyle, ever incapable of ignoring others misery, would try to get christophe to open up and socialize more even though christophe doesn't really care to make any more friends than kyle (yk typical extrovert/introvert trope)

Christophe also seems lonely tbh. Other than Gregory I don't think he has any friends, and even gregory only really talks to him for missions. Christophe seems to be grounded often too so he cant even hang out with gregory that much. As a result, i think kyle would probably be christophe's only real friend for a while.

eventually, christophe would become a little "clingy" towards kyle (tho he'll never admit it and it would be really hard to notice because christophe would act like he is putting up with kyle lol) and this could create tension between the m4 or even at a larger scale between kyle and the rest of his class.

kyle would definitely take his time to make a decision which i think would hurt christophe but ultimately kyle wouldn't drop him. he’d maybe force christophe to talk to the other boys so he isn't at kyles side ALL the time

some kids I think Christophe could hit it off with: TWEEK (both government skeptics, they would totally enable each other's paranoia), craig, jimmy, wendy and stan (with some initial tension tho).

3. kyle patching up christophe

so far i think i've mostly done angst and not so much hurt/comfort so im gonna go for the most literal example of the trope.

kyle has actually patched up a few kids before (like blanket) so i dont see why christophe would be the exception. with christophe's whole "mercenary" thing i think it's just bound to happen lol.

i also had this au where kyle is a nurse working the night shift and christophe keeps getting brought into the e.r. for very suspicious wounds that he refuses to elaborate on how he got. so yeah lots of kyle having to literally nurse christophe back to health and snarky comments here and there (dont get your hopes up this au will never see the light of day, but i thought i'd share it here anyways)

im gonna stop here because this is already wayy too long and im sorry i got carried away i just really love this ship lmfao theres also a few more things i wrote but decided to not include here as to not make this post any longer than it already is but if you want more hc's you can send me another ask! <3

[marian-devotee]

if you don’t mind me asking how did your family take your conversion to catholicism? Have any other members of your family take an interest in the church? I ask cause I’m really heavily considering converting to the catholic faith but my family is a mix of southern baptists and pentecostal church of god, so some very strong anti-catholic beliefs there and I know your family is mormon and mormons also tend to be anti-catholic as well. You totally don’t have to answer but thank you if you do and have a great day/night! <3

Mormons are pretty anti-catholic it's true 😬 But I feel like southern protestant denominations are even more so maybe 🥲

So when I told them, at first they were shocked and thought I was playing a prank on them which was a little awkward. Then mostly they were just confused and sad ☹️ And they obviously don't want me to leave the church.

But, because of past family experiences, my parents are taking the approach of "leading with love" and they really think that this is just some weird journey I'll go on - and then eventually come back to the Mormon church. Additionally, as long as I'm living under his roof I do still have to attend mormon church education stuff, church meetings, serve in my church calling, and follow church rules in the house - including participating in family scripture study which is usually from the Book of Mormon. And I have to keep anything related to Catholicism in my room, and private, and away from my siblings. I don't love it, but it could be worse, and it is their house.

But idk, my dad is proud of how confident I am in my faith, and he admires how diligent I've been with learning more about Catholicism. He's even helping me apply to catholic colleges, so that's been unexpected and nice. So it's going well!

But I've always had a really good relationship with my parents, and I was very confident that they weren't going to idk shun me or kick me out. And we've always had a very open and honest relationship, so keeping this from them was very heavy on my heart. I was lucky that I didn't fear for my safety or practical well-being. If I'd had those fears more seriously, I'm not entirely sure what I would have done. I don't know your living situation, but that's just something to consider.

You should definitely explore Catholicism though!!! It is truly God's Church on the earth, and it's brought me closer to God, and any fallout I face with friends or family is well worth it. And if you can be open with your family, you should. It's the respectful choice, it's the honest choice, and being brave and honest is just a good way to represent your faith. 💕

And then has anyone else in my family become interested in Catholicism? Yes! Kinda! My brother recently returned from his Mormon mission, and he wasn't super thrilled with the church before he left, and he's even less now. I always always always invite my family to mass with me (because I'm crazy and 100000000% convinced they'll all become Catholic) and I was pleasantly surprised when he said yes! He's been going with me every week, and he actually prayed the rosary with me recently which was so special. But if I pry he gets cagey so I'm giving him space. He's also going to a non denominational church with some friends a couple times a week, so he's searching right now and I think that's awesome. I hope he comes home, and I really believe he will 💖💕 The nice thing about being open and honest with your family (if you can do so safely!) is that it makes it much easier to evangelize to them 😂 Catholicism is nothing to be ashamed about, it's the church Jesus Christ left for us, and we should give our best efforts to bring all of our brothers and sisters in Christ home 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[kkoffin]

ex Muslim and Jewish??? I mean that's so cool may I ask, because you said you're a secular Jewish woman, how it came to be? We're you born Jewish and then converted to Islam and then left Islam, or were you born into a Muslim family and left Islam in fabor of Judaism but then decided to be secular (which personally I'd find weird because conversion to Judaism is into the religion lol, but I don't judge, I understand aversion from religion as a whole!)

Anyway, your takes are so good and very enlightening, your posts well-worded and understandable and comprehensible which I admire.

You're really cool and I'm sorry if the question was really invasive I'm just curious as a Jewish woman myself.

P.S., I love your url. Iconic.

dw, the question isn't invasive, but do prepare for some trauma-dump lol

My mother's side of the family is ethnically Jewish but hasn't practiced religiously or culturally at all since WW2. To be honest, I didn't even find out I was Jewish until pretty late in life, it only came up because my mum took a DNA test. So I was raised atheist by my single mother, and at some point during some great financial struggle, a very traditional (conservative) Muslim man appeared in her life and offered to "take care of her" if she converts. My mum sometimes says that she honestly believes she would've committed suicide if she hadn't converted, that's how dire financial issues were. So she converted to Islam and I essentially had to as well, even though I never believed in it. He would abuse me or her if I didn't act how he wanted, so she semi-abused me instead, knowing it was less bad than whatever he would do to me, but enough to satisfy him. I don't think anyone ever has to forgive their abuser but I do forgive her for what happened. Anyways, financial and emotional abuse got worse over the years until eventually my mum's mother died and she automatically inherited a big enough sum of money for us to get away from him and for us to pay rent while she found a job again. We're lucky to live in a country where such a thing can happen.

Anyways I'm a little awkward about being Jewish because I kinda know... nothing? about the culture? Not being raised in it, plus there's very very few Jews where I live, so most of my cultural experience with Jews is online, or at the single holocaust memorial in my state which has info on Jewish history. I have chosen to.. readopt?? the Jewishness in me? in a way? I do love the people and the culture, and above all I want to protect them. I feel like most of my content relating to Jewish stuff is only very surface-level "lets not kill Jews. That's not a good thing to do". I don't want to act like an expert in the topic in any degree, but I do like letting people know I'm Jewish in hopes of making more Jewish friends <3

also thanks for the compliments on my posts and url <3

[angieflynns]

Nothing beats seeing posts about small fandoms and how you get seven notes and are like "Woo, everybody's here" when you know you've begun nursing an returning interest in a show with a fandom of one (you). And like, in truth I'm not trying to convert anybody...I don't think Detroit 187 would do well on Tumblr. It's definitely got what I'd assume were NYPD Blue intended vibes (I haven't really watched much of NYPD Blue but it's a really gritty crime drama and they also have an NYPD Blue lead cast member in the main cast which could have been a purposeful hint) and the main ship that I specifically root for has an eighteen year age gap with a very pretty young twenty something woman and a forty something blatantly autistic guy, and we're just left with a weird cliff hanger where the main character probably committed murder and I think they may have planned to try to set it up for self defense by having you hear two gunshots, but also look the whole team lied for Fitch's alibi so if there had been a season two and they found Tommy Flanagan's frozen corpse in Canada everybody would have been thrown under the bus.

But the point is I liked it (mostly...except I still think the Stone/Sanchez romance/fuck buddy arc was icky gross)...and it was there for me when I was at my awkward teenager stage so I'm gonna lean into this returning hyperfixation even if the fanfics get literally zero notes because I'm the only person reading them, and gif sets on here barely get attention, I'm keeping it...and I'll wear the custom made Louis Fitch tee-shirt I ordered from Etsy without feeling any shame.

[sparklingcurepeace]

Sorry if a reblog of an ask seems weird, I just don't think I'd fit everything all in one comment, eheh.

First, I'm happy the ask was normal! I wasn't gonna do it, but my brain was itching, and I thought, "Well, may as well ask someone." So here we are :3.

Second, I totally agree with your first paragraph. So, on technicalities, anybody could give their life to Christ, but for the sake of things being canon or canon adjacent, I wanted to see what you would say.

Pomni is an interesting choice. I guess I say that because given how I've personally seen her, she seems like a person who might have struggled with her faith deeply if she believed at any point at all. I'm not saying Christians don't struggle, especially with things like mental health and purpose–I know I have–so many times :'). I like this theory, though! I can call it a theory or headcanon?

It's both funny and just downright crazy you said Bakugo. I don't even say that because of how people portray him and interpret him, but that fact that I once had a dream where he apparently converted and was talking to Izuku about the Bible. He was awkward. Izuku was confused. But it was genuinely so sincere and sweet that he was trying??

I might have shared that here, I'm not sure. But I still think about the dream and all the emotions I felt from it. So I agree with you that it's possible!

Gosh, the Promised Neverland. I forgot I watched that. I need to read the manga, actually, despite what I heard. But I agree with this as well.

Thank you for answering! I always like to see people's reasoning on these things.

Hiya!

If you had to make a case for a fictional character becoming a Christian or being one potentially as a headcanon, who would it be and why?

Take care ^_^

Had to think of an answer for this for a while.

Technically any character, like any person, can become a Christian by admitting they’re a sinner in need of a savior and accepting Jesus’ sacrifice to cover the price they could not pay; regardless of what they were like before. Not to mention many characters have exhibited Christ-like characteristics in their respective stories. But in terms of who is or could be a Christian in regards to the canon of the character and their world…

Partially because I’m deeply in the trenches of this show, my first thought is Pomni from The Amazing Digital Circus. I think she could have grown up in the church and internalized a lot of the gospel message, but whether or not she’s a practicing Christian remains to be seen (probably not, but I like to think so).

For some reason, my second thought was Bakugo from My Hero Academia. Why? I don’t really have a reason; it was just my thought. He becomes a Christian as an adult; change my mind

And then my third thought was my favorite trio and probably the closest to blorbos that I have; Emma, Norman, and Ray from The Promised Neverland. They clung to hope throughout the series (manga) and had a deep love for each other and their family. It just seems fitting to me that they would be or become Christians.

[imbonewary]

Shifting Sans Chapter 2 "In Which, Sans is Very Confused"

~

Chapter 1 - Chapter 3

~

I flinched hard at a knock on the door. I must've blacked out for a minute.

"We heard something fall," a hesitant voice called through the door. "Is everything alright in there?"

Ah, that must've been me that fell, seeing as I'm on the floor, curled up in a rattling ball.

"'m fine,” hopped out of my mouth before I'd decided to respond. I’m not sure I’ve ever been "fine" but whatever. If that really is my brother than I don't want him to worry, and if it's not... show no weakness or it'll be used against you. I decided to stay on the floor as I went over what I knew; no sense wasting precious energy sitting up. 

So. 

I really did absorb a piece of the human's soul. 

A piece of that thing is inside me now. 

I don't think there's any way to un-absorb a soul.

I'll never be free of it. 

...

Welp.

I'll just have to get used to that. 

What else do I know.

I guess I still have full control because I only absorbed a piece of the human’s soul, not the whole thing, so there’s that. Small blessings. Not sure what I’d do if I could hear that little demon in my head all the time. 

I moved one of the wings into my view to examine it more closely. 

While I'm not 100% certain, I'm pretty sure the wings are coming from that soul piece; they are the same color, after all, and seem to be more like conjured flesh than feathers. Human souls are powerful so it would make sense that a monster who absorbs one would have to accommodate for the influx of magic somehow. Did anything else change besides the wings? I didn't notice anything different while getting dressed, so maybe not. In that case, I guess I'm glad the only change was the addition of wings. Coulda been worse. 

And apparently I can fly now, but I’ll think about that later. 

Grabbing the soul piece must've interrupted the reset; that could be why everything is so weird, but resets only affect time, and they only go back to when the human first fell. At least, ever since they took the power from Flowey anyways, and even then, he technically only had it for a few months. There wouldn't have been enough time, let alone need, to convert the closet into a bathroom. Besides, it was clean but obviously used and definitely not a new feature. 

That skeleton out there... He hadn't corrected me when I called him "Papyrus" but he’s so different than my brother. He could speak softly, not only knew about Gaster Blasters but could summon his own, he was wearing jeans and a white shirt instead of his Battle Body, and he'd called me "buddy" instead of "brother" earlier... I hadn't caught it at the time but now that I think about it, that's even more weird than the rest of it!

I don't... I don't think that skeleton is my brother. Not unless a lot more has changed than just time can account for.

I need more information. I could spin my wheels for hours getting nowhere unless I ask my "hosts" some potentially awkward questions. I just hope they're willing to humor me. 

I sat up, taking a deep breath before standing, once again using the sink for support. As I reached for the door a sudden fear of the unknown washed over me. After such a long time dealing with predictability how well am I gonna handle not knowing what comes next? I wonder how rusty my people-reading skills have gotten...

I shook my head, no more stalling. Swallowing my trepidation, I opened the door a crack, as quietly as I could. "Alphys" was sitting on the far side of the sofa with her tail curled around  her; the white jacket she'd been wearing earlier was gone, leaving just the black dress, as she held the bundled up blanket I'd probably been using earlier. She had darker stripes on her forearms and markings around her eyes but no glasses. That didn't quite account for how much younger she looked. No sign of "Papyrus", though I could hear cooking sounds from the kitchen, solving that mystery. The door creaked and I instinctively pulled back as "Alphys" glanced at me, smiled, and turned her attention back to the low volume TV. I squared my shoulders; now or never time.

I was filled with DETERMI-

OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?!

I retched, falling forward against the door, onto my knees, as waves of strength, power, and resolve coursed through my entire being. It wasn't painful, per se, but the phantom burning memory of molten magic lancing through my bones was plenty real to me. I hadn't felt anything like that since...

The Labs.

My mind was flooded with old memories I thought I'd buried long before the resets ever started. I saw the sadistic glee in his smile as he held a syringe filled with a sickly green substance; he said it was green healing magic mixed with the barest hint of red DT but the whole thing looked tainted as he injected it into the mana lines in my chest. As close to my soul as he dared get without actually piercing it. It wasn't the first time and sure as hell wasn't the last. 

I whimpered into my hands as I let the memories wash over me. 

It was a well practiced mental exercise I'd developed over the subjective years spent repeating the same goddamn days over and over. Let the mangled memories run their course, acknowledge their presence, send them on their way; and pray that I make it to the other side without losing the rest of my tattered sanity.

If you're goin' through Hell, don't stop.

Several torturous minutes later, the pain filled visions of needles, restraints, rough hands, and strange substances, faded. 

I stayed kneeling on the floor, breathing ragged as I let my fluttering soul calm back into a steady rhythm.

I struggled to my feet, leaning heavily against the wall, and didn't give myself time to think before opening the door, trudging over and plopping onto the couch opposite Alphys. I didn't look at her but I could practically feel her smile... Wait a sec, I could feel it, like a warmth radiating from her but not one I could feel on my bones; one I could feel on my actual soul. Flowing into me from behind, right where the wings were attached to my back. 

Put that on my growing list of weird things to think about later.

Something else I could feel with the wings was every fiber of the couch cushion I was leaning back against. That was an uncomfortable amount of sensory input, especially from new limbs I wasn't used to yet. Or maybe they were just hyper sensitive to touch. Or both, I didn’t conjure flesh often. Either way, that's really annoying. I tried to subtly find a more comfortable position but my fidgeting became less and less subtle the more frustrated I got with the over stimulation before giving up, flopping over the side of the arm rest with a groan of resignation. 

A throat cleared and I flinched hard.

I turned with an easy smile, pretending I hadn't just jumped out of my nonexistent skin, to find "Papyrus" with an amused grin and two bowls of food. Schooling his expression to carefully neutral, he handed one bowl to "Alphys" before offering the other to me. I could still feel his amusement, just like I could feel Alphys' smile earlier. I took the bowl with a quiet thanks, leaning forward to avoid letting the wings touch the couch again. It would be easier to avoid making a mess like this anyways.

A sob caught in my throat as I looked down at the bowl of spaghetti.

Maybe he was my brother after all. 

Swallowing the tears that pricked at the corners of my sockets, I shoved a forkful of noodles in my mouth and, as much as I love my brother, I could admit his spaghetti never tasted as good as this did. I ignored the confusing mix of emotions as I continued to shovel food in my face. It tasted good, sure, but I didn't realize how hungry I was until I... was out of food. I blinked at my suddenly empty bowl.

"Nyeh heh," Papyrus chuckled, holding out another bowl. "Would you like some more? I made plenty."

I grabbed it greedily, trading him for the empty one as he got up from his chair. I hadn't noticed him sit down next to Alphys; where did the chair even come from?

"Oh my g-god, that was adorable," Alphys snickered behind her hand. 

I blushed, looking away. My eyelights had definitely blown wide at the taste; I really hope they didn't turn into stars or, god forbid, hearts. I wiped off my sauce covered face with the back of my hand; guess I made a mess of myself anyways. I debated for a moment before licking it off; shouldn't let it go to waste. I started eating at a more reasonable pace and Papyrus soon sat down with another bowl. Alphys had barely started her own bowl. So where had the bowl he just gave me come from?

Papyrus gave me his own god damn bowl of food, didn't he? I am such a terrible house guest.

We ate in silence a bit longer.

"Thanks for making dinner," Alphys said. "I-it tastes great."

"As great as the skeleton who made it!" Papyrus preened at the praise, hand on his puffed out chest. 

Another lump caught in my throat. This is getting ridiculous, are you my brother or not? You're so like him in some ways but in others you're the complete opposite. It's giving me emotional whiplash! 

"I suppose we should introduce ourselves, now that everything has calmed down a bit," he continued. Now that I've calmed down, you mean. "My name is Papyrus, though you seemed to already know that."

He hid it well but I could feel the undercurrent of suspicion coming from him.

The fact he felt the need to introduce himself means he doesn't know who I am. Which means he can't be my brother. I tried not to wilt visibly. 

"And this is my sister, Alphys."

I choked on my spaghetti. 

SISTER?! The FUCK?!

"That seems to surprise you." His suspicion was leaking out from behind his carefully neutral mask.

"Yeah, it does surprise me," I finally spoke. "You're supposed to be my brother."

[tzipporahssong]

Question about how "conversion isn't something to avoid" (not disagreeing btw! Conversion sounds like a very beautiful and nice albeit hard process and I fully support converts, I just have a question concerning me specifically lol hope you don't mind)

So my grandma on my mom's side is Jewish, so about 1/4 of my family is Jewish, but out of the family I actually interact with regularly it's more like 1/2. I wasn't baptized at all, I'm not sure if my mom was? So obviously I've been exposed to a lot of Christian hegemony but I was still raised knowing somethings about judaism. And recently I've been interested in knowing more. I read Essential Judaism, and I want to read To Life and A Rainbow Thread, and I've been asking my Jewish friends and family more about things (apparently my mom knows way more than I thought lol, I keep saying "did you know this about judaism?!" and she's like "yeah?")

The thing is, I'm not sure if I want to convert. I'm an atheist and I'm not really interested in finding g-d (even though I know that's really meaningful to others and I don't feel superior about it or anything, I'm just kind of indifferent?? I hope that's not offensive). So I'd feel weird approaching a rabbi or attending service regularly because I'd feel like I'm being disrespectful or pretending or something. Idk if that makes sense, it's hard to explain in words because it's just a feeling I have about it. And part of me is worried that my Jewish friends and family will judge me, even though I know for a fact they're accepting of converts because my great uncle invited a woman converting to our Seder 2 years in a row and my friend's dad is a convert. But I just feel insecure about it for some reason, and I like that reading about it is, like, an individual activity that no one can judge me for. (On the other hand, I feel weirdly insecure about doing ANYTHING that people in my life like, even on a smaller scale. Like I'll feel awkward for starting to listen to a band they like even tho they'd actually be thrilled that I'm into it).

So I don't feel like conversion is right for me (at least not for right now- maybe the reasons above are actually only because I haven't been interested long enough yet ???), but it's still my heritage and I still want to participate in holidays and learn more, and I feel like I at least somewhat can identify as Jewish? But I don't want to be insulting or offending converts by trying to say I'm Jewish without converting when I wasn't completely raised that way. And I usually say I'm 1/4 Jewish or part Jewish anyway, idk if that's better or worse. I feel like I'm rambling now so I'll stop but I hope something here made sense and none of it was accidentally rude? Have I actually asked a question? What are your thoughts, I guess?

So there’s a little bit of nuance to this I think! First of all, there’s a difference between claiming to be Jewish and having Jewish heritage. Embracing the latter and wanting to explore it respectfully while also acknowledging that you may or may not be technically Jewish (depending on whether or not your mother was baptized) is totally possible! I’m sorry if this keeps getting muddled but really my qualms are with one specific person who harassed me and my partner for months and refuses to acknowledge that she’s approaching Judaism in a disrespectful way.

Second of all, I’m not sure if you know this but you absolutely don’t have to be a theist to convert to or practice Judaism. We are a religion, not a faith. Every Jew has their own unique relationship with the concept of Gd, and many of the most devout Jews I know are ambivalent about the idea. Many people’s concept of Gd fluctuates or has been eradicated due to some kind of event and that’s completely okay, it’s their prerogative. We are a religion based on community and on action, there’s no requirement for belief in Gd. I’m not saying that in any kind of attempt to convince you, I just want you to know the option is there for you.

If you want to try a service or two you ABSOLUTELY should. They are open to respectful visitors and nothing says that if you go to one you have to convert. If you want to talk to a rabbi about your situation then you can! Nothing says that if you talk to one then you have to convert! (Actually, not being turned away from conversion is a fairly recent thing and now only in more liberal spaces). If you are Jewish and your mother just didn’t practice, then nothing says you have to go to services! Plenty of Jews study on their own and aren’t regular attendees, though I will strongly recommend finding another way to connect with a Jewish community. Are you sensing a trend here? There’s no one or right way to be a Jew or to have Jewish heritage or to explore the concept. As long as you are respectful (which I can tell you’re committed to) you’ve got nothing to worry about as you explore this path.

Please feel free to reach out any time 💙