#not even a joke. i caption art of them with ‘just a normal guy’ all the time and they literally are normal

[clottedscream]

literally just a normal regular dude. being extra dramatic and creepy for no good reason i might add.

[catwithangerissues]

Haikyuu Polyship hc’s!

♚ Hey hey hey! Welcome to a little collab that @tetsurocking and I have been working on for a few weeks now! Like two but still. We each chose three different couples and wrote headcanons about a poly relationship with them!

♚ My three!: Suna x Osamu x Reader! Tendo x Ushijima x Reader! And Futakuchi x Shirabu x Reader!

♚ Make sure to check out the three couples J wrote about over on her page! I promise you’ll find some stuff ya like😉 ‘I think about polyships too much for a monogamous bitch’ -J 😂 Anyways, enjoy!

♚ Warnings: Should be none! Although I reference high school in the past, everyone involved is aged up!

Suna x Osamu x Reader Poly!

✧ When you guys were in high school, Rinta would always send you videos of Osamu and him at practice; sometimes they were videos of the twins fighting, some were of them doing little tricks with the ball to get your praise, and some were just of them waving/saying they missed you

✧ They tend to spam your little group chat with memes while you’re at work or school, and sometimes they just spam you for attention <3

✧ They both really like it when you wear their clothing. Sometimes they get pouty if you wear one shirt or the other, but they never genuinely mind. In addition to this, they basically share a wardrobe. Is that Suna’s shirt or Samu’s? They don’t even know 🤷🏻‍♀️

✧ Suna probably sends you two pictures of the ugliest things he sees in a day and and puts a caption like « haha that’s you two. » that’s it. He probably doesn’t even bother to put a period at the end (Thanks for this one, Alma!)

✧ Suna takes tons of pictures with/of the two of you, and he changes his lockscreen background pretty often because of it. His favorite pictures are the ones he takes without you two noticing, hehehe

✧ These two are both really great drivers and they’re very smug about it. Food for thought 😌

✧ When you’re grocery shopping, they probably start eating what’s in the cart before you’re even out of the store.

✧ In addition to grocery shopping, don’t even TRY to tell Osamu one brand of a certain ingredient or food is better than another, he will throw a Miya Twin hissy fit™️ lmao

✧ They both keep extras of anything any of you may need in their cars. Period stuff if you’re someone who has one, hygiene products like deodorant and an extra shirt for Suna after practice, snacks for Osamu cause the poor boy always wants to eat in the car, etc.

✧ They both like to tease, but in reality they’re big softies for you. Want cuddles? Rinta is always flopping down on top of you once you sit on the couch. Need a back or shoulder massage? You don’t even have to ask Osamu at this point, he does it subconsciously.

✧ Suna prefers dates at home, lounging around and cuddled up, movie nights, dinner dates, etc. Osamu prefers lazy errand days. Going grocery shopping, cleaning the house together, dropping something off to Atsumu or grabbing lunch on the way home, he enjoys the domesticity of life with the two of you.

✧ DOING THEIR HAIR. Styling Suna’s hair for him in the morning or helping Osamu touch up his color before he goes back to brown.

✧ Holiday decorating, birthdays, and anniversaries are always fun with these two. To others, they’re relatively reserved, with a few sarcastic comments to spare *cough cough* we all know who I mean- But to you, they’re rambunctious and sweet. Making stupid jokes to see you laugh, babying you, all the like.

✧ Someone picking on you or getting a little too friendly? No need to worry, your two tall ass, intimidating boyfriends have your back. Suna is more of the- glare daggers at them until they get the hint- kinda person, but Osamu is definitely the- throw my arm around my partner and tell the other person to back off- one.

✧ Going to Suna’s games with Osamu to support him! Osamu once pretended to be a fan and asked for his autograph, and when Suna just looked him dead in the face and kisses him everyone around lost their minds.

✧ You and Suna visiting Osamu at work and bringing him lunch so he doesn’t have to make it himself! He has pictures of you three in his office too <3

✧ The boys visiting you at work/school saying it’s to playfully embarrass you, but usually it’s something like; bringing you lunch, coming to pick you up for a spontaneous date/adventure after you clock out, or just coming to sit in your office and bug you for a little while to get your mind off of work.

✧ They are both pretty possessive, but aren’t controlling. They just like to hold you, though Suna is the more reserved one of the boys when it comes to pda.

✧ ^That said, they like to show you off- a lot. Showing pictures of you or the other boy to their coworkers and teammates is a favorite of theirs.

✧ Whatever hobbies you’re into, they like to sit and watch you do. Reading, cooking (with Osamu?😌), baking, art, music, video games, etc. They just love to watch you do your craft! You’re so supportive of them and their dreams, the things they love, they try to repay the favor any chance they get.

✧ Suna is definitely one to just sit his head on your lap or shoulder and listen to you talk all day about something you love <3

Tendo x Ushijima x Reader Poly!

✧ Tendo has a massive collection of hoodies and he loves it when you two wear them. It makes him so happy to see you guys in something that’s his, a physical symbol that you two want people to know you’re with him.

✧ Both very affectionate partners, in their own ways. vv

✧ ^Tendo wasn’t very fond of pda at first, more so he wasn’t comfortable with it because he thought you two would be embarrassed to be seen with him. Once he found out you two weren’t embarrassed of him and wanted to show others your relationship, he was all for it! Usually likes to hold your hands or lean on one of you.

✧ ^Ushijima is more subtle with his affection, not because he’s scared or embarrassed, just that he prefers to do it in private. He knows you two know he loves you, so he doesn’t really see the need to be all over you in public. But in private? That man is always hugging you or nuzzling into your shoulder- he’s like a giant teddy bear.

✧ Ushijima loves to do all the domestic shit with you two. Cooking, cleaning the house, running errands. He’s just a sucker for feeling like a lil family with his two cuties.

✧ Tendo loves to plan the dates! Though if you want to, he’ll gladly let you! He likes to plan little day adventures for the three of you, whenever Toshi doesn’t have practice or training!

✧ Tendo likes to have his nails painted by you, and Ushijima likes to watch you two <3

✧ Matching nails with Tendo??? Mhm😌

✧ Protective boyfies! Let’s be honest here, it’s unlikely you’re gonna have too many problems with these two giants standing next to you. But if there ever is one, they definitely scare off whoever is bugging you quickly.

✧ These two are some of the most comforting people on here. They both had their share of not so great things happen to them growing up, Tendo being bullied and Ushijima basically being treated like a brute. The two of them became really good at comforting people, knowing how it feels to not have someone there to comfort you when you needed it.

✧ They’re big on cuddling to begin with, but if you’re ever sad or stressed? Prepare for Tendo making a pillow fort and Ushijima baking your favorite treats. These two are incredibly supportive and comforting when you need them <3

✧ Ushijima once got so fed up with Tendo being a little brat, he threw him onto his shoulder and walked around the house like that for a good half hour. Tendo thought it was hilarious and so did you

✧ Speaking of, he seems to really enjoy carrying the two of you around at random times. Piggyback rides, bridal style, or just like a koala clinging to him, he loves it.

✧ Tendo can sense a mood change in the two of you like it’s nothin. Seriously, the guy just knows when something is bugging either of you.

✧ The boys definitely ask if they can get a pet when you move in together. Tendo has a long list of crazy animals and Ushijima keeps suggesting a hedgehog for some reason.

✧ Regardless of what you decide on, you know these two are going to treat your pet like their baby. They’re going to spoil tf outta that little fella. 100% Tendo takes a million photos of them everyday. Ushijima doesn’t baby talk, he just talks to them normally about random things like volleyball and it’s pretty comical.

✧ Visiting Tendo at his chocolatier shop! He usually has very long days, and gets extremely happy when you two pop in to see him. Please bring this baby some lunch or dinner, he’s not a big eater and often forgets too. He has pictures of the three of you in his office too <3

✧ Watching Ushijima’s games and practices! This boy can’t get enough of the praise you and Tendo offer him! He loves seeing you sport his jersey with his name on the back, and he says seeing you two in the stands at practice or during a game really helps his focus?

✧ If you’re someone who has a period, these two are so sweet and thoughtful to ya. Tendo always makes the best chocolate, and Ushijima is basically a walking heater, he runs you hot baths too! Both handle mood swings very well and always make sure the pain meds are stocked in the house. 10/10 boyfies

✧ Please let Ushijima have as many house plants as he wants. He loves them and names each of them, he’s let you and Tendo name some before too! Catch this big teddy bear talking to his plants while he repots or waters them and your heart will melt </3

Futakuchi x Shirabu x Reader Poly!

✧ Salty, sarcastic, teasy boyfies- if you’re easily flustered, prepare yourself, they are going to use it against you. Calling you nicknames and saying things they know will make you start to stutter at any chance they get. (Lookin at you, Futakuchi) (please don’t think I’m making fun of people with a stutter, I have one myself.)

✧ Very protective, though they may not show it as often as some others do. Someone messing with you? You bet they’re next to you in an instant- offering several sarcastic remarks and a menacing glare from Shirabu, Futakuchi throwing an arm around you and bending down to the creeps level to further the intimidation.

✧ Both very comforting partners, if you’re feeling anxious or upset they’ll gladly take you into a big cuddle pile. Petting your hair or cheek, and telling you all the sweet things they can think of to see you smile.

✧ ^ Shirabu picks up on your insecurities very easily, especially if they’re similar to his own, and helps you learn to cope with and improve your mental health. Futakuchi has a gift for comforting people, always knowing what to say to make you feel 100x better about yourself or anything that’s bugging you <3

✧ Let’s not even get into what they’d say or do to the person if someone hurt your feelings, let alone made you cry. We’ll leave that to your imagination.

✧ Very competitive with each other. They constantly play fight for your attention, making comments about who’s shirt you wore today or who you ate lunch with- but it’s all in good fun.

✧ Futakuchi is a sly bastard, he really loves to fluster and tease tf outta you and Shirabae. For example: When Jirou gets mad at Kenji, Futakuchi just calls him his pretty boy or compliments how cute he looks when he’s angry and Shirabu becomes a complete flustered, stuttering mess.

✧ Going to visit Shirabu at work and/or bring him lunch! He doesn’t like to admit it, but he really does appreciate when you two come to visit and eat with him, especially during long shifts where he doesn’t get to see or talk to you two very much. He always becomes a blushy mess, waving off his coworkers with a glare when they comment on it- or when Futakuchi points it out

✧ Going to watch Futakuchi’s games! He’s very open with his appreciation for the two of you coming to watch his games! Either of you wear an extra jersey of his and it’s game on. He’s mindful to ask if you’re okay with hugs after, since he’s usually pretty sweaty, though.

✧ Of the two of them, Shirabu is the more perceptive one. He can easily pick up on any of the changes in mood the two of you may have, and it makes it easier to solve any issues you may have, rather quickly.

✧ In your relationship, Shirabu also gets frustrated the easiest. Whether it be with himself or the stresses of work and school, he finds himself getting frustrated and overwhelmed rather easily.

✧ You and Futakuchi are masters at calming him down by now, pulling him into a cuddle with lots of affirmation and he feels better in no time, offering to help with his work and take a bit of the load off cheers him up quite a bit too.

✧ Your boys are both very loving and cuddly when sleepy.

✧ Both getting overwhelming soft when you’re being cute, they just start to overload. Whenever you do anything remotely adorable, they can’t help but dote on you. SOFT BOI HOURS

✧ HEAD PATS! That is all. :)

✧ Futakuchi is the type to kiss you hard during an argument while Shirabu is the type to sulk and then come over to you later that night asking to cuddle.

✧ Random hc, but Futakuchi’s car is a fucking mess, I just know it.

✧ Saw this somewhere else, but it fits him! Futakuchi says yes ma’am/sir with a huge shit eating grin.

✧ You three have a good system when it comes to planning dates, taking turns every week or so, although Shirabu tends to prefer slow days/nights at home, given his busy(er) schedule.

✧ Another random hc, but I think Futakuchi has some sort of energy drink addiction and Shirabu is constantly nagging him about cutting it out of his diet because he aggressively cares for that boy.

✧ “Stop drinking that, idiot. It’s bad for you.” “Aww, Jirou~ are you worried about me?” “Shut up,,”

♚ Hope you enjoyed our little collab! Go check out @tetsurocking ’s part on her page! Believe me- it’s good😭 be warned! It does have nsfw content! Mine was gonna but some of you can’t follow rules😤

Taglist: @sunalma @toworuu @lovie-and-co (for your boys😌)

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Chapter 234 Translation Notes

I haven’t posted a note for many chapters, but this chapter dropped so many reveal-bombs I just can’t i just can’t aaaaaaaargh gurglegurgle

/regain composure /why am I listening to “Send In The Clowns” on loop while posting this?

Ahem. So, in short, this chapter is super LIT, but also a headache to translate. As with all reveal-heavy chapters, there is no knowing how disastrous the ramifications of one tiny misinterpretation can be on future reveals. Whoops! 

So let’s peruse the story page-by-page, word-by-word, unraveling the story plus a little ramble on the Japanese language. 

Warning: this post is incredibly long

(You can skip to 5 for my wild theory on The Pillar)

1. Gawd, I’ve always hated these opening captions T T

Because they always give me this feeling of I think I kinda understand what this means but I don’t know how to translate this so it makes sense!  

紐解かれるかつての別離（わかれ）

I think I spent time on this one sentence even more than the rest of the chapter. Despite it being the first thing on the first page, this is honestly the last thing I translated this chapter.

Word-by-word, 紐解かれる (himo-tokareru) is the passive form of the verb 紐解く (himo-toku), which by definition means:

1) Unbinding and opening a new book 2) Unraveling (i.e. memories, history, the truth, etc.) 3) A flower blooming

紐 (himo) and 解く(toku) are also actually two separate words used normally in daily life. The first one means “rope” and the second means “to solve, to untie, to unravel etc.”

So, in essence, this word refers to something hidden, a secret being revealed. No surprises here, since we’re talking about D.Gray-Man. 

かつての (katsute no) means “Once”, “Used to be” whereas 別離 (betsuri) means “parting, separation” but the furigana indicates must be read as わかれ (wakare) for some reason, and means farewell or separation as well. 

I take it that as Mana and Nea were once separated by death, but now Nea has returned to Mana as he vowed to, the “farewell” is no more; it just used to be a farewell.

So now that we have all the pieces...

HOW ON EARTH DO I TRANSLATE THIS !!!???

You saw how it turned out above. To be frank, I’m still not satisfied with it, but as my period cramps are killing me and I’m literally typing this to distract my mind from it because I can’t sleep yet with this pain, and my brain is out of ideas, as always...

I’ll leave it to you guys to interpret freely!

2. Nea’s last words 

Just when I thought I’d skip that troubling caption and start on the dialogue right away, manga-kun messes with me again! Who was Nea talking to? In the background, Nea is reaching up to Mana while decaying away. However, on the next page, turns out it is Cross recalling those words. 

So I walked over to my bookshelf and picked up DGM volume 17 and 22.

In volume 17, in their last meeting before Cross disappeared, Cross told Allen that Nea promised him that he’d return to Mana if Cross kept watch over Mana. 

In volume 22, however, Road reveals to Allen that “Don’t stop, keep walking.” were Nea’s parting words to Mana.

Um...so...which is it, exactly?

So if context doesn’t help, then should we turn back to the literal word? If it were some other language I might’ve said great idea! But this is Japanese; a douchebag of a language that assumes all parties must be native speakers and privy to the conversation beforehand. And thus omits subject, verbs, and objects whenever it pleases to screw foreign learners and outsiders alike. 

Why, Nea’s sentence has no subject and object!

まってろ。必ずマナの元に行く。「アレン」が目印だ。 それまでは立ち止まるな。 

Literally this says “Keep waiting/Just you wait. (I will) definitely go to where Mana is. ‘Allen’ is the sign. Until then, don’t stand still.” 

While Nea using Mana’s name might imply that Nea’s not talking to Mana, but to someone else, otherwise he would’ve used “you/your”. But in Japanese, usually people will refer to their convo partner by name as well, i.e. Lenalee and Allen refer to everyone by name instead of “you”. This is considered neutral and politer than the textbook pronoun “anata” (which is kinda condescending actually...so why do they still keep it in the textbooks!?). 

In case you’re not that close with the person you’re talking to, and not sure which pronoun you should use, using their name is the safest bet to avoid offending them. (Don’t go calling your client omae, of course lol!)

So, back to Nea, going by this rule, he also could’ve been talking to Mana himself as well. See? Curse you, nihongo!!! 

Anyway, Nea didn’t talk to Mana/Earl that way when they met in recent(?  I dunno, my sense of time is already warped from too many hiatuses and hopeless waiting) chapters; Nea refers to Mana using the pronoun “anta” which is the shorter, more casual form of “anata”. And judging from his overall language, he’s not that polite or soft-spoken either, so the possibility is lower. 

Also it’s kinda weird to tell someone who’s sitting right in front of you that you’ll “go to” where he is.

So, using my spidey sense plus all things considered, I finally concluded that since it’s Cross’ flashback, Nea was talking to Cross this time. 

Looking back on this, I don’t know if I’d be able to translate DGM even with 50% accuracy had I not read the series from the start and have the volumes stacked on a bookshelf nearby just in case. Screw you, NIHONGO!

3. Pierrot, Clown, Auguste, Whiteface, Harlequin; What’s the difference?

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is described as a Pierrot whereas Cosimo is a Clown. As I’m not well-versed in clown traditions, I did some Googling and Wikipedia, and learned the art is even more interesting and richer than I once thought:

In this informative blog , it’s explained that while in appearance, the Pierrot and the Clown are almost the same, there is one rule that sets them apart: 

The Pierrot has tear marks under his eyes, whereas the Clown does not.

The Pierrot’s tear marks:

(I just noticed Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker also has tear marks)

The blog is long and detailed and very interesting, but in short, though both the Pierrot and the Clown are supposed to make people laugh by doing foolish things, while the Clown intentionally acts foolish to be laughed at, and can also  joke back at and laugh at the audience as well, the Pierrot will always have to be laughed at and made fun of by the audience. 

Deep down, though the Pierrot is hurt and sad, he must act as if he’s not, to conceal it from the audience. Thus the tear marks indicates a deep, profound sadness.

(*pause to sob for Allen and Joker*)

Back to Mana, we can clearly see he has a tear mark on his right eye. But Cosimo has what looks to be a tear mark and a star under his eyes as well. 

So...aren’t they both Pierrots? Grrrrrrr! DAMMIT HOSHINO!!

Anyways, moving on. I think we remember that back in Allen’s epic showdown with the Earl in Edo, this scene happened:

The Earl compares Allen to the White Clown/Clown Blanc and himself to Auguste. In classic tradition, Blanc and Auguste are often paired together, and it is said that this originates from the pairing of the Pierrot and Harlequin.

No no no obviously I’m not talking about this one lol

Ahem, back to serious-ass clown lore: 

Both Blanc & Auguste and Pierrot & Harlequin are similar in that the former (Blanc and Pierrot) is more sophisticated, stern, serious and melancholic, whereas the latter (Auguste and Harlequin) is the happy, clumsy, grotesque, sometimes rude fool that does the former’s bidding, to comical results. 

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is said to always be smiling and extraordinarily kind, and that he is an enchantingly elegant, beautiful clown, but when he smiles, he always looks as if he is actually crying, dying inside. 

I mean, pretty much everyone has had that moment in their lives, no? 

Okay, back to seriousness, again; Yes, Mana is the ultimate Pierrot, the Whiteface, the Blanc. The sad fool who must always be laughed at by the world. 

And now Allen, who has taken on Mana’s personality, became the melancholic laughingstock of the world himself, constantly being pushed down and trodden on and used, but having no choice but to push on with a smile, hiding his pain deep underneath the white greasepaint.

Cue the music!

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying But I didn't see that the joke was on me. I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

(Bee Gees - I Started A Joke)

4. Great, Cosimo had a hard life too. One more confirmed-dead character I have to cry for!

I hated Cosimo. Still do. Heck, EVERYONE HATES COSIMO. I mean, until now, the guy totally has no redeeming qualities and no justifying reason behind his relentless cruelty.

But in the recent chapters, there are reveals not mentioned in LFS: 

Cosimo was bought and forced to work as an errand boy, like Red, before he somehow crawled his way out and became the circus’s top performer. While drunk, Cosimo would also complain about how he was actually born a noble (this last one is also mentioned in LFS).

Imagine that. Your parents abandoned you for whatever reason (maybe he’s a bastard child?) and you ended up sold to slavery in a circus. After years of being worked to the bone and abused, you struck it big and thought you had it all, then new guy waltzes in with his stupid dog and takes your spotlight. 

Heck, you don’t even have to live such a rotten life to feel bitter. In Toy Story, even brave and fair Sheriff Woody was reduced to a jealous wreck in the face of Buzz Lightyear stealing Andy’s attention from him, wasn’t he? And I think we can all relate to that. Most of us have been jealous of someone before.

Cosimo’s unforgivable actions towards Mana and Allen the Dog may have been fueled by insecurity, trauma and fear as much as jealousy. His abuse towards Red is a result of long years of being abused himself; his own way to cope. 

While Red/Allen blames himself for his pain and not inflict it back upon others, Cosimo did the opposite, because everyone reacts and adapts differently. However, to be clear, both of these traits are not healthy. 

There’s also the fact that Red was saved by the kindness of Allen the Dog and Mana while he is fortunately still young enough to regain faith; whereas Cosimo suffered alone all through his life, surrounded by selfish, two-faced scumbags like that guy handing out leaflets. Had things been different, who’s to say Red might not turn out the same as Cosimo?

In a nutshell, Cosimo is simply a product of his harsh environment. While I still despise him, I can’t help feeling some pity for him and understanding where all that evil had come from. I don’t believe he is inherently bad. Nobody is. Had he been raised with love, I’m sure he would have been a very different person.

5. The Pillar

I know, this is what y’all are actually here for. I mean who cares about Cosimo’s tragic life or the difference between a Pierrot and a Clown when there’s an honest-to-gods HOLY LIGHT SPLITTING THE SKY APART AND OBLITERATING THIS WHOLE WORLD FULL OF SINNERS!? And it’s even teased, like, waaaaay back in Timothy’s Arc (gawd how old was I back then?) !!

First, a recap of this chapter: 

7,000 years ago, The Pillar destroyed the world (which seems pretty modern). The Noah survived and held a grudge against The Pillar for forever destroying their world, leaving them with nowhere to return to. Once they found the reborn Millennium Earl, they pretended to be his family, but instead are using him to exact revenge on The Pillar, because it is predicted the Earl will one day become The Pillar and destroy the world again. Cross however took pity on the Earl and chided Road for believing in that prophecy and causing the Earl so much misery.

Some IRL tidbits: 

Hoshino-sensei revealed she traveled to Ground Zero of WTC for inspiration, now we finally get to know which scene that inspiration is for. And IMO, the instant obliteration coming out of nowhere on one fine day, the Pillar etching a line from sky to ground amidst the pile of rubble, reminds me of the A-bomb’s mushroom cloud over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. And we all know which country Hoshino-sensei comes from, right? Could there be a link? 

Now, my personal analysis (or rather, pointless rant with no answers coming out whatsoever): 

This chapter both confirms, clarifies and also debunks important things we have believed from our time with the Order, listening to the Order’s side of the story. 

1) In the very beginning, Komui tells Allen about the previous end of the world 7,000 years ago. The Bible calls it “The Great Flood”. The Cube calls it “The Three Days of Darkness.” However, we now learn it is neither rainy nor dark. Nope, one day all of a sudden, a blindingly bright shaft of light struck down from the sky, and The Capitol suddenly became The Scorch. How did it achieve that? No clue! 

2) Komui tells Allen that the end of the world was caused by a war between the wielders of Innocence and the Earl + the Noah Family, and the ensuing flood that destroyed the world scattered the Innocence around the world. 

However, in this chapter, we learned there was no war. There was no flood. Just the Pillar that appeared suddenly one day. And surprise, the Noah Family hated The Pillar for destroying their beloved world, their only home (wait, aren’t they supposed to hate the Innocence?). 

Yet now the Noah are working with the Earl, who wants to destroy the new world and would someday become the Pillar and destroy the new world too? Yet Cross says they’re just using him for all this time? 

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? 

My super duper wild theory is that since 1) The Earl is the Pillar-in-Making,  2) The Noah show hatred for The Pillar as much as they do for the Innocence, 3) The Pillar, like Innocence, could trigger their Noah Memory to threaten to swallow them, then it’s kinda implied that;

Mana = The Millennium Earl = The Pillar = The Heart of Innocence

And the Noah, knowing this all along and wanting to prevent the end of the world from happening again, tricked the Millennium Earl into thinking they’re helping him fulfill his raison d'être of Harbinger of the End of The F***ing World (sorry, another reference, heh), not telling him that he’s actually the Heart of Innocence itself, watch him go after Exorcists he suspects are the Heart, and gleefully accept his orders to kill those Exorcists looking for the Heart, in order to prevent the Black Order from ever getting the Earl aka the Heart on their side. 

They also let the Earl create legions of Akuma to fight the Exorcists and destroy all the Innocence shards, literally using the Earl to destroy himself, keeping him away from his true allies, chipping away at his lifeline one shard at a time, like Harry crushing Voldemort’s horcruxes one by one, not knowing he’s a Horcrux himself. Until finally, when there is nothing left but the greatly weakened Heart with no army to protect it, then will the Noah have the chance to defeat it once and for all. 

And of course while they keep the Earl busy searching for the Heart, old man will never pause and think hmmm, maybe I am the Heart? 

Perhaps this is why Wisely said that all humans who have awoken into Noah will accept their duty once they learned of Noah’s mission. Since Noah’s mission now seems to be preventing the end of the world at the hands of Innocence, which I take as God’s power, and God’s weapon for “cleansing” the world whenever he deems it too sinful. 

After all, we have seen the horrors Innocence can do, the lengths Innocence will go to punish people it judged to have sinned. Innocence is said to be a crystallization of God, and like God, it has been foreshadowed numerous times to have that ruthless, merciless, unforgiving streak within it that could alienate even Allen himself.

Anyway, I typed this one without checking the earlier volumes that much. I expect there will be several loopholes, so be sure to point out any inaccuracies and also please, please do let me know what you guys think of these reveals as well! I’d love to hear differing theories!

Other tidbits

The Garvey Troupe, not Garbeigh. Sorry, everyone. Phonetically, Japanese does not have the “v” sound. Nowadays, you can write it out by adding the mark on the ウ (u) letter like this: ヴ, but most words would still transliterate it to the “b” sound, and most Japanese people will still have trouble pronouncing the “v” sound properly anyway. For example, “Violin” could be written both as (v)ヴァイオリン or (b)バイオリン, and most people would pronounce it like the latter.

Do you think Road’s memories of the End of the World has anything to do with Lenalee and Allen’s shared dream of the End of the World as well? Though Lenalee’s nightmare features the Black Order in ruins and not the modern skyscrapers of Road’s. 

So Cross knew Nea and Mana from childhood!? I’ve always thought he met Nea by chance when they are grownups and he was forced to do Nea’s bidding. Interesting!! 

So, that’s it for this chapter! Phew! That was uber long. Thank you so much for bearing with me this far. Hit me up in comments!

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #11 (1979)

The only weapon you need to provoke a police officer to violence is scorn.

Sorry! The above caption had nothing to do with The Cockroach's first appearance in Cerebus and everything to do with how the Omaha Police arrested peaceful protesters by claiming that they're purpose was to "attack and/or provoke police officers to violence." Also, you can tell they're already spinning and lying by adding the "and/or" so they can imply that the protesters are planning on attacking police. And, well, even if they weren't (and they did say "or"!), their other main plan was to provoke them. But of course everybody whose ability to perceive reality isn't clouded by their incessant need to defend police no matter what understands that police will abuse their power at the drop of an eye roll. They believe any slight disrespect is an excuse for a violent rebuttal. They force physical violence on people whom they have no reason to arrest simply so the person can struggle against the assault, as any normal person would do, and then claim resisting. Police should be confronted by scorn and disrespect at every turn. Only when they learn not to instantly resort to violence and threats will they deserve to not be. Welcome to my comic book and/or police review blog! Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" continues on a theme that I hadn't noticed until just now: every new issue of Cerebus now seems to be a landmark issue! It's an interesting self-promotion take that I have to admit I'd never thought of trying. "Every new Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea review is a landmark review!" You know what else is a landmark? Places & Predators, my Cribbage-based Roller Playing Game! You don't even really need any friends to play it. Just read it like a book and enjoy it! Or play it like a Fighting Fantasy Adventure Book! Use some online Cribbage app! Figure out how to use the crib in ways the online app definitely won't let you! Oh, the reason this is a landmark issue is because more letters came in than normal! It's a hit! Deni also reveals that she'll be making the Cerebus plush toys that were advertised in previous issues and at half the price! So kudos for stealing that job from the person who originally made them! It probably wasn't anything so dramatic but what fun is going through your life defaulting to the best, most optimistic possibility in every given situation? Have some fun! Act paranoid! Purposefully misunderstand your father and scream in his face! Kick a dog! Sorry! I got carried away! I would never kick a dog unless it was attacking me. But even then, I'd be wishing I was kicking the owner who let it go off leash. The dog doesn't deserve my epic self defense tactics in its soft face. But the owner certainly does!

The basics on the origin of The Cockroach.

I didn't realize Dave came up with The Cockroach because it was gross and disgusting. I just thought it was a more clever version of a bat, keeping to the shadows, hiding, surviving, a constant annoyance to poor people. In any case, The Cockroach is the greatest parody of The Batman, hands down. Because The Batman has become such a parody of himself time and time again, you just need an absolutely Batshit insane version of him. I don't do segues so Cerebus has come to Beduin to sell the Black Blossom Lotus. Just look at all the continuity Dave Sim is giving his readers! I wonder how many comic book fans would list "continuity" as their number one favorite thing about comic books? Like, are there people who would list that above great writing or terrific art? Judging by how terrible a lot of mainstream comic books are and how rabid many of the fans, I'd suspect it was a fairly high number. Maybe 65 out of 100, Bob. Change that card! The Merchant Cerebus deals with is a kook who might just have a super secret identity. It's weird to think of the Roach as being capable of actually living an independent life! I suppose he's just barely hanging onto his sanity at this point (and, of course, only during the day). But then he comes into the mystical aura of strangeness that aardvarks apparently exude out of their buttholes and he just loses it completely. He becomes less a merchant slash superhero and more a superhero slash zombie cosplayer. Also he becomes one of the greatest characters ever created! There are like four of them in the entirety of Cerebus! The exclamation point is because I think that's an incredibly high number and not because I think it's an incredibly low number. Most comic book's protagonists never quite make it to the greatest ever! Plus I'd probably give Cerebus more than four but a lot of them are just really good parodies, satires, and slightly-off representations of characters and people who already existed. The merchant buys the Black Blossom Lotus from Cerebus for 100 gold pieces and then promptly drops it out of the window and into the Feld River.

Not only does Dave Sim come up with a bunch of memorable plots across three hundred issues, he also comes up with a lot of good Dungeons & Dragons campaign ideas.

The Merchant pays Cerebus a sack of gold and gets ready for bed as Cerebus begins to leave. Before Cerebus can even exit the hallway outside the merchant's bedroom door, Cerebus begins to hear loud ranting coming from the other side. It's a lot of hissing and threats of murder. Against his better judgment, Cerebus decides to see what's happening and gets his first look at the guy who will be a huge headache to him for the next two hundred issues or so.

One thing I like about Dave Sim is how honest he is when recounting where he came up with or stole his ideas. He gives plenty of credit for the Cockroach and his hissing to Marshall Rogers and Jules Feiffer. It's admirable because a lot of people would just figure, "It might make me look less of an artist and who's going to know anyway?!"

Just a few days ago, my old elementary school friend who was blown up in Iraq and then became a comedian playing to Christians and patriots (which I mention so you'll understand how, as a wounded veteran, he'll never be criticized by his audience and he'll never really grow as a comedian) posted a Tik Tok on Facebook that was just a film of a television set capturing the "Masked Debate" bit on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The clip only shows all the clips of news readers saying "masked debate" and none of Oliver's or the show's set-up. He then watermarked it with his Tik Tok name. Now all of those naive followers who can only seem to reply to his posts with the laugh/cry emoji probably think he wrote it. Better yet, they're probably mostly Trump followers who would never admit to finding that libjerk Oliver or his show funny. What's even better is that the Tik Tok has some quote along top that's watermarked with somebody else's Tik Tok name! So it looks like Bob doubly stole the bit. Man, I wish I'd joined the army and gotten blown up and then found Christ and developed an audience of uncritical naive yahoos who would wildly applaud everything I wrote! Why didn't I join the army?! Oh, that's right. Because I believed I had a future right out of high school. Well, I guess Bob is having the last laugh now! Cerebus follows Cockroach across the rooftops to find out what's going on. He eventually witnesses the Cockroach confront a man in an alley, accuse him of killing his parents, knock him out, and steal his gold. The gold part of the night helps Cerebus to ignore all of the other confusing stuff. The Cockroach doesn't gloat for long. He's off to find another victim! Cerebus witnesses him mug another guy whom he also accuses of killing his parents. He also admits to doing this for thirty years. So now Cerebus thinks the guy is crazy but also crazy rich. At the end of the night, the Cockroach returns home and drops the gold purses into a secret panel in the wall. He falls asleep, wakes up, and, when he sees Cerebus, acts as if Cerebus were just leaving. So Cerebus realizes that the merchant doesn't have any idea what the Cockroach is doing. Which means Cerebus is going to recover those gold purses before the Cockroach comes back! At the moment, Cerebus doesn't realize that he's going to be finding thirty years worth of gold purses in the merchant's walls. Can you imagine how boring the last two hundred and eighty-nine issues of Cerebus would have been if Cerebus managed to steal all of the Roach's gold?! I'm sure some of you are thinking, "It wouldn't have been any worse than the last hundred issues we did get!" Also, can you imagine how fat Cerebus would have gotten drinking tons of ale and eating loads of rich foods? I'm laughing so much just trying to picture it! Ha ha!

Eight feet of gold would make Cerebus fatter than a domesticated raccoon!

In the end, Cerebus only makes it away with three sacks of gold. But in the process, he manages to completely screw up the Roach/Merchant equilibrium that's lasted for thirty years. In trying to exploit the man's mental illness so that he'd help Cerebus move the gold, Cerebus drags the Roach personality into the daylight. From here on out, the Roach will simply be a pawn of others, susceptible to almost any second-rate demagogue (although most of the people who subsequently control the Roach are of the first rate variety). The Aardvark Comment section was two pages this issue and had this letter that I don't think was being sarcastic?

I guess I also wouldn't necessarily consider a chainmail bikini as "a disgusting costume." He's probably thinking about Power Girl.

Also, and I admit it might have been a joke, but Dave Sim reveals that Ronald Reagan is Cerebus' father. That, um, makes sense! Cerebus #11 Rating: A. I almost gave it a B+ for variety but then I remembered I just read the first appearance of the Roach. I also forgot that my ratings don't actually mean anything.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 6

Road Trip! Since the Elric’s need repairs (mostly Ed, since normally I think he could fix most anything with his Alchemy, but without his arm he can’t do it), they’re off to visit Winry. Let’s get started!

Narrator’s talking about how Scar went after Ed, and how our little baby was ready to accept death (cue heartbreaking shot of Al struggling to get up and stop him), but Colonel Roy Mustang intervened (or rather, Riza saved the Colonel's life and The Mighty Armstrong distracted Scar). The Elric Brothers realized the joy of being alive and were filled with Determination and decide to head home for a patch job. Episode 06: “Road of Hope” About time we had an optimistic episode, these last few have been depressing as all getout. Camera pans over a train-station (what, no [chugga chugga choo choo] caption? You disappoint me, show), Hughes raps on the window to Ed’s car to get his attention. The rest of Eastern Command were tied up with work, so the Lt. Colonel came by in their place. Ed’s grateful, but- YESSSSSSSSS! The post-credits didn’t lie, The Mighty Major Armstrong is indeed “sharing” a bench with Ed. And may I say that the man cleans up nice, that is a snazzy suit. Hughes says that The Mighty Armstrong’s there for protection, in case Scar comes after him again. Ed’s in no shape to fight, and hey that’s a nice touch, showing Ed’s empty sleeve wave around when he takes offense at being called a child. Speaking of, where’s the little brother? Oh. Oh my Leto. You stuck him in a box with the sheep?! Why?! Ok ok, maybe a half-wrecked suit of armor wouldn’t really fit in among the other passengers. But sticking him with livestock? Really? “I thought he might get lonely without a little company. *sparkle*” ...you are just the most peculiar mix of sense and cluelessness, aren’t you Armstrong? I mean, you’re not wrong, but still. Sheep, dude. One final salute between the three, and the train’s off. Away through the picturesque landscape we go, Armstrong reading while Ed takes a nap. The train makes a stop, Ed’s just starting to wake up when Armstrong notices someone walk by the train and crushes Ed in getting out the window. A Doctor Marcoh? Marcoh… does not look very happy to see Armstrong, goes sprinting away. Look, I know the guy can be a bit bombastic sometimes, that’s a bit of an overreaction. Armstrong says that he’s a talented State Alchemist from Central, who was researching into possible medical applications of Alchemy. But after the Ishvalan Civil War, he went missing? Like, he defected, or retired? Ed insists on disembarking, as a doctor might know some useful things about bio-alchemy. Fingers crossed it doesn’t end up like the last bio-alchemist they visited. The State Alchemists are in the city now, seems Armstrong’s the one carting around Al In A Box. They’re looking for Marcoh by showing a picture of the man, one that Armstrong drew? I’m as surprised as Ed that Armstrong’s such a good artist. Strong, a skilled Alchemist, reader, and now an artist? Is there nothing that The Mighty Armstrong cannot do? Ah, of course, “the art of portraiture has been passed down through the Armstrong family for generations.” The townsman they’re questioning says it looks like a Dr. Mauro to him. All the town’s previous doctors got drafted for the Civil War, but afterwards Dr. Mauro came. Further interviews with the townsfolk are all positive, about how he’ll see anyone and heal them with a big flash of light. Sounds like alchemy to me. Ed and Armstrong (and Al, he’s been pretty quiet so far) arrive at a house, Ed goes to knock on the door- What the Leto, dude?! Ed just opened the door, and Marcoh shot at him! He stands there with gun shaking, ranting that he won’t go back, that they’re here to silence him. Armstrong tries to calm him down. Then when that doesn’t work he flattens him with Al’s crate, to Ed’s displeasure. Now the four are sitting around a table, Armstrong’s talking about how when Marcoh left he took top-secret material with him. So he did defect? Marcoh says he couldn't handle it anymore, order or no order to “dirty his hands researching that thing”... What “thing”? Ed has the same question. The Philosopher’s Stone! Houston, we have confirmation that it exists! Marcoh took his research documents, and the stone itself. Does he have it?! Uh, dude? That’s a vial of liquid. You understand the difference between a solid and a liquid, right? Oh. OH. “The Sage’s Stone, The Grand Elixir. The Celestial Stone. The Red Tincture. The Fifth Element” The Stone is supposed to ‘create’ a liquid that grants eternal life, isn’t it? Along with the whole “lead into gold” thing. Nobody ever said that it was a solid, did they? Marcoh’s saying that just as the Stone has many names (Ed, don’t poke it! That’s a highly powerful substance!) it can take on many forms. But it’s not a complete product? Ah, so this liquid is an imperfect Stone, amplifying power but still having a limit. Like Cornello’s Stone, able to amplify his power but still fracturing in the end. Ed seizes on this knowledge, demanding access to the research materials. Marcoh is taken aback, and further shocked when Armstrong explains that his “child” is a State Alchemist. He tries to explain how many State Alchemists turned in their certifications after the War, and now a child… Ed insists that he has no choice, that if it’s a mistake then it’s a mistake that he has to make. Now the doctor’s examining Al, remarking how incredible it was that Ed could transmute Al’s soul. Maybe Ed does have the skills to produce a complete Stone. But still, Marcoh refuses to show his research and continue the Devil’s research. Not even Ed exclaiming that he’s already been through Hell can change the doc’s mind, who finally asks them to leave. Sad faces all around, the three SA’s walking away while Marcoh sits on a bed and thinks over Ed’s last words. At the train station waiting for their ride, Armstrong asks why Ed didn’t take the Stone from the doc, even if it was incomplete. Ed says he wanted it, but he and Al agree that they don’t want it badly enough to deprive the town of their only doctor. Aw, they’ve still got their empathy! And hey, we know now that it’s possible to make different forms of the Stone, the Elrics’ possibilities have expanded considerably. At least some good’s come out of this. And Armstrong’s not going to report back to Central? “I met a simple, small-town doctor today. I can’t see any real reason to report that.” Good for you, Armstrong! Oh hey, Marcoh’s here! And he’s handing over a map to his materials? This day keeps getting better! Doc wishes them luck, hoping that they will be able to restore their bodies. ...ok, what’s the catch? Way too much is going right for our characters. Is Marcoh secretly evil, setting up an ambush with the Goths? Did he already destroy his research out of guilt from the War? Will they find it, only to decipher a recipe for Ovaltine? What’s the catch? According to the note, the research is stored in the National Central Library. That’s not a bad place, one book in what I assume is a huge library would be difficult. But they have a clue now! Marcoh gets home, sighs- aw crap! Lust! I was kidding about a Goth ambush earlier, don’t tell me he actually is working for them! Well. I’m guessing this is the last we’ll see of the poor doctor. Sorry buddy! Now we’re at a familiar house, Automail sign out front. Granny, who I guess is actually Pinako based on the captions but I’ll keep calling Granny, calls for Winry who’s working away at a desk. At a mention of their “best customer”, Winry looks up. Outside, Ed and Al are greeting Granny, who just asks what they’ve done now. A common occurrence, this? Ed introduces the Major as- hey, the dog has an Automail left leg! That’s a neat touch! Armstrong’s shaking hands with Granny, then she steps back and remarks that it’s been a while, but Ed’s gone and grown- smaller. Hah! Still getting in the height jokes, eh Granny? But why would she say something so clearly untrue? Ed starts shouting-

Seems like Ed needs to work on the Five D’s. Here’s Winry! Yelling about how Ed’s supposed to call first when he’s heading back for maintenance. Hey Winry, looking good! Still got the aim from Episode 2 I see. She’s happy to see Ed again, even as Ed grouses about his head.

Uh oh, Winry is no longer happy when she sees the damage to her work. “A little smashed up” is a bit of an understatement, Ed. Winry is shaking in fury over her creation- wow, really Ed? “It’s basically the same; it’s just in smaller pieces.” Yeah, like you’ll be if you don’t stop antagonizing your mechanic, Ed! Winry gives that line the only response she can, and while Ed groans on the floor she asks Al how he’s doing, what trouble they’ve gotten into. Then she goes and kicks the Giant Suit of Armor in the helmet, sending Al down with Ed. Yeah, I gotta agree with you Armstrong. Best to sit quietly and drink your coffee. Granny’s checking Ed over, seems he needs adjustments to his leg too. Cue height teasing from Winry. But the arm’s busted, that’ll have to be built from scratch. Ed asks if it can be done in a week, Granny asks for him to give them some credit, says three days. Three days to build a new mechanical arm? I like this setting! Until then, Ed’ll make do with a spare leg. Winry gripes a little bit about this taking three all-nighters, but says since they need to get to Central ASAP she’ll work her butt off for them! (Aw, Ed’s blushing!) She does expect a fortune in rush order fees. Outside- well, Armstrong appears to subscribe to the Steve Rogers School of Log Splitting.

And we are treated to some magnificent shots of Armstrong at work as Al sits quietly, watching chickens. Taking the wood inside (come on Granny, turn around. You don’t know what you’re missing!), Armstrong asks where Ed’s hanging, seems he’s gone to visit Mama Elric. Shots of peaceful village music and shepherds waving to Ed, as Granny asks the Major what kind of lives the brothers are living. Aw, you guys don’t even send them letters? Come on, stay in better touch with the Rockbells! Armstrong remarks how Ed and Al are well known for their Alchemy, even in Central. And sometimes that gets them in trouble. But they’re strong boys, and Granny agrees. Awwww! It’s a picture of the Baby Blonds! Baby Winry’s dragging a surprised Al and begrudging Ed in for a picture, a smiling Mama Elric and stoic Granny behind them. That’s adorable. Granny goes on to explain to Armstrong that she’s been watching them ever since they were born, as a friend of the family. Their absent father was even a drinking pal of hers! But one day he “up and left the village, abandoning his wife and sons.” Why? Granny doesn’t even know if he’s still alive. (Mysterious Father continues to be Mysterious. And there’s the picture of the Elric family, the dad’s face covered up. Rude.) Then Armstrong asks about Winry’s parents. Ah, so this is how it was done in the manga? We know from Brotherhood’s second episode that they died in the war, but I guess this is when Armstrong learns as the audience surrogate. We do learn that they both were surgeons. Granny mentions that it’s time for supper, overrides Armstrong’s polite refusal by saying that food tastes better with guests, and adding one more person won’t be any inconvenience. Then Armstrong asks about the house that the Elrics grew up in. It’s gone, since- wait, they burned it down? “My guess is they did it because with no house to come home to, there could be no turning back.” Later that night, Ed gets back- GAH! Emotional Armstrong! Moved by the tale of the Elric Brothers, The Mighty Armstrong embraces the poor boy, who struggles to escape as Al, Granny, and Winry look on. “What unyielding love to try and bring your mother back to life! *sparkle* What a tremendous sacrifice to give up your arm in order to transmute your brother’s disembodied soul! *sparkle* What determination to burn down your own house…! To make sure… there was no retreat! *sparkle sparkle sparkle* Come Edward! *strip* Allow me to offer you this comforting embrace!” “Just stay back! Don’t rub your chest on me!” ...stay awesome, Armstrong. Next morning Ed stumbles out of bed to a buzzing sound, sees Winry working away at her table. Ed heads over and compliments her working so hard in the morning- “Been up all night.” Later, heads over saying she must be almost do- “One more all nighter.” Next day, Ed skulks up, looks around curiously until Winry gets fed up and tosses him out. Al, Ed, and Robo-Dog are all outside resting on the grass, Al counseling Ed to be patient while the older brother waves his arm and legs in frustration at knowing there’s a clue out there. Then winry comes out, new arm all ready to go! Inside, Ed’s grimacing while Winry and Granny count down, grits his teeth when the new limbs are attached. Guess it’s painful for the nerves to connect like that. Ed’ll be happy to kiss that pain goodbye when they get the Philosopher’s Stone, Granny says she’ll be sad to lose her biggest source of income. Meanwhile Winry… has an Armstrong Moment over the perfection of her automail. “Crazy gearhead.” “You’re lost without me, alchemy freak.” Mechanical Engineering versus Chemical Engineering! Fight! Ed does some flexes, as Winry talks about how she used a higher percentage of chrome to prevent rusting. Nice, functional and decorative! Although it won’t be quite as strong, so he shouldn’t do anything too crazy- too late Winry, he’s already out the door to fix Al. Armstrong’s asking if Ed can really fix Al right there, Ed says he can do it, but he has to be sure not to mess up the symbol inside the armor that binds Al to it. One hand-clap later, and the Giant Fanged Suit of Armor is good as new! The brothers have a little practice spar, and agree to leave for Central first thing the next day. That night, Ed’s snoring away on the couch, Al griping that he’s sleeping with his stomach out again. Granny jokes that Al’s the older one, to which he just says that someone has to look out for Ed. Winry brings a blanket over, and we get established ages of fourteen for Al and fifteen for Ed. Man, how long has Al been trapped in that armor? So much of his life, stuck in metal. Winry remarks that someone as young and small as Al… can be used as a human weapon. Winry, that’s not funny! That’s depressing! I thought I told you to be funny again, show! Now Al’s formally thanking Winry and Granny, always welcoming them like they’re really family. And Ed may not say it, but he feels the same way. “Granny… Winry… thank you.” Yup, right there with you, Armstrong. Right in the feels. Ed and Al are heading out now, Granny’s there to see them off. Winry’s not, since she’s stayed up three nights in a row. Now that’s dedication to your craft. The State Alchemists make to leave, Granny tells the boys to come back for dinner sometime, and Sleepy Winry waves goodbye from the balcony. Ed turns away and rubs his head before waving back. Say goodbye to Winry directly, you fool! Eh, whatever. I’ll badger him about my ship later. Credits! Aw, that was a sweet episode, nice respite from the downers of the last few. I mean, it wasn’t completely sunshine, I’m pretty sure that Marcoh won’t be making another appearance and we had to revisit the absence of Papa Elric and Winry’s parents. But overall, very nice. And you’ll never hear me complain about more Armstrong. Next time! Wait, nevermind. Back to Sleepy Winry walking down the stairs, complaining that she slept through almost the entire day and now she needs to clean up after human-tornado Ed. Then she finds a screw? “Whoopsy?” Uh oh. Don’t tell me Ed’s gonna lose his arm again next episode? You do realize he’s getting into combat, right? Or does she? I mean, they don’t tell the Rockbells what they’re up to. Now, Next time! “Doctor Marcoh’s notes on the Philosopher’s Stone were indeed in the place he said. But nothing is ever that easy. Unfortunately for the Elrics the Enemy is always one step ahead, leading the boys ever deeper into the maze of “truth within the truth.” Next time, on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood-” Episode 07: “Hidden Truths.” “The only way to reach the destination is to never turn away.”

[runningwolf62]

@wardencommanderrodimiss, @pachelbelsheadcanon Oh my god I hate case fics, have the first half of Turnabout Ablaze.

-

At first, it’s a pretty simple routine. Get up. Get dressed. Walk the dog. Go back to Edgey’s apartment. Apply for jobs. Write fic. Rinse and repeat.

The chapter is less of a mess than Larry had originally thought and while his readers love it, they have questions and Larry wishes he had answers. WolfDragon offers what support he can, apparently he’s got something coming up with work, his coworker, who he compares to being “frighteningly like Viper from your fic” has something for him that’s gonna keep him busy for the foreseeable future but Larry already misses him. Like, he’s not gonna sit around waiting for him to get back, but he finds that WolfDragon’s really become part of his life and he’s gonna miss being able to chat with him quite as much.

Pess is good company though as he binges his way through Edgey’s collection of Steel Samurai, occasionally he texts him a picture of the TV with some caption as he reacts to whatever is happening in the episode. Edgeworth seems largely amused by Larry’s reactions though occasionally he asks his opinion on a plot twist or writing choice, but given his focus is on visiting his family in Germany he doesn’t have too much time to talk.

But then, a few days into Edgeworth’s vacation, something pops up on Larry’s radar. Namely because he’d been searching “Steel Samurai” in an attempt to find a reference for some art to draw Edgeworth, partially as a joke, partially as a thank you. But this is the answer to Larry’s prayers. Sort of.

The embassies are hiring, of all things, someone to perform in a stage play of Steel Samurai. Larry figures fuck it, and throws his hat in the ring. It can’t hurt to try and plus he’s still working on getting published.

Something that hurts to even think about, because he misses sitting with Elise and talking about plot ideas, just the camaraderie of having someone to sit with and work with. He misses having a mentor and it guts him still to think about writing serious work.

He knows he needs to though. He needs to strike while the iron’s hot, but he’s made a deal with himself. Find a new place, find a new job to pay the bills, and then he goes back. He’ll give himself that much time, that should be enough time to mourn.

What he doesn’t expect, is that he hears back almost immediately. Like later that day immediately.

But Larry’s not one to turn down a chance at work, however brief this will be. So, he says yes.

He waits to tell Edgeworth though because he wants to see his face.

-

Oh, he sees Edgeworth’s face alright. Larry prides himself on everything Nick taught him in college and then stuff he picked up in his time working here that he doesn’t break character when Miles Edgeworth himself asks for his autograph. He really cannot wait to see his face now. He might have to film it. He tries to wink at him as he hands over the autograph, but he doesn’t think Edgeworth sees it. He doesn’t recognize the young girl with him either, she reminds him of Maya though, something about her eyes, bright chirping voice and dark hair.

Edgy and Nick were just adopting kids all over the place huh?

He remembers what he’s here to do though. This is a big moment, a big goodwill thing, no pressure Larry. No pressure. Just shaking a guy’s hand.

Thankfully that ends without incident, Larry feels like he’s riding some kind of high. He’s not only impressed Edgeworth, admittedly not that Edgeworth knew that, but he’s done a massively impressive thing without fucking it up! Though now that it’s over, he did just kind of shake a guy’s hand. Like, yeah, the gesture was important, but it was just an everyday thing really. He tells himself that in the hopes his heart rate will go back down to normal.

Well, honestly, getting out of his costume and getting some fresh air might help. He takes a secret staircase up and out during the Jammin’ Ninja thing to go sit on the roof and take his helmet off and just cool down.

He does let out a fist pump and a cheer though. Larry Butz, Turnabout Champion in his own right after all.

He takes the time to relax, rehydrate, and admire the chimney, it’s got some interesting architecture though he’s not sure why anyone would have a fire going now. It’s LA in March it’s not that cold, it shouldn’t be smoking. He gets so lost in studying the chimney that he kind of forgets he’s supposed to head down to his room and then to the speech.

Until the police arrive, to find him still admiring architecture.

And he’s accused of murder.

Again.

Larry decides at this point the universe is against him this year.

He lets himself be dragged back downstairs, holy shit there’s an actual dead body, he feels his breath stop in his throat, memories of Elise, er, Misty, and the memory of Cindy haunting him as he stares at the body.

He steps back as this very aggressive - did he actually just snarl at him – Interpol agent steps towards him, he wants to be back on the roof, away from her, away from the body and the accusations, just long enough to clear his head and think.

He backs away and right into something solid that grunts as Larry crashes into them. The pitch suggests male. The whip that makes his head spin, literally as his mask spins around him, suggests someone else.

“What do you think you're doing to my subordinate!?” Yeah, he knows that voice and whip. He quickly pulls his helmet off so that he can see her, “uh hi aga- Edgy?”

Edgeworth’s eyes about leap out of his skull, and Von Karma spares him a glance, long enough to ask, “who is this fruitcake!?” Okay now that felt harsh.

“I am Larry of the House of Butz: Married Man of Neo Olde Tokyo, m’ ma’am!” He would not say m’lady he had not sunk that low, he had not. His head was still kind of spinning though, and given he’d smashed his name together with the Steel Samurai’s introduction he might also have some kind of heat exhaustion.

“Now I remember. This... person is one of your childhood friends, isn't he, Miles?”

Edgeworth softens slightly as he seems to take in Larry’s frantic state, “yes… he is.”

Larry laughs a bit nervously, “Hey! It’s good to see ya, I’m in a bit of a bind.” He also hadn’t realized Edgeworth was back in town, had they missed each other? He’s been walking Pess, even with his now hectic schedule, the show coming up had caused the past week to be a bit of a blur.

Edgeworth’s eyes narrow and Larry fights the urge to shift around nervously, “what sort of "bind" are we talking about here...?”

Larry glances over his shoulder at the agent behind him, who also had narrowed eyes and a cruel, sharp, sneer, “the suspect kind! I accidentally became a suspect in a murder!”

“I see. That is quite the bind.” Edgeworth sounds calm though as he took in the room so maybe things will be okay. Maybe.

Von Karma arches an eyebrow and tugs on her whip, “...Not that we're in the least bit surprised.”

Edgeworth makes a noise in his throat while Larry feels himself deflate like a balloon. Namely like the one he launched into Gourd lake. Sounds like a good idea right now. Not just ‘cause he felt like shit, but he was also sweating in the costume.

“Franziska, he has been making quite the effort to improve himself,” Edgeworth speaks quietly but firmly, “I assure you; he’s only improved.”

Larry gives him a grateful look while Franziska eyes him critically, Larry hates how he feels himself coming up short as she sizes him up. But the she nods.

“Well then, fools of a feather flock together.”

Edgeworth nods and then seems to take in Larry’s outfit, “wait!”

Larry grins at him tiredly, “surprise? I hope you liked the autograph?” he really hopes Edgeworth did, he hopes that had made him happy in some way.

Edgeworth is gawking at him again, “you were the… On stage…”

“Yeah?”

“Not to interrupt,” the voice that cuts in is one clearly delighted to interrupt and Larry about jumps out of the suit when the hand comes down on his shoulder.

Edgeworth’s eyes harden to flint as he takes in the man next to Larry. “Aha. So, this is the incident you mentioned earlier.”

The Agent grins and Larry feels like the big bad wolf is hanging off his shoulder, “Mr. Prosecutor, this man... this childhood friend of yours... is our prime suspect. Of what, you ask? Of the murder of a man who had snuck into this embassy, Mask☆DeMasque II!”

“There was a second one?” Larry looks at him in surprise, he almost feels himself throw up, he doesn’t need a reminder of that god awful week, and this time without WolfDragon and Nick to help pull him out of it, he doesn’t need to remember the break up, the fight, the foolish, stupid-

“useless looking young man”

He bites back bile and has barely zoned back in when he hears Edgeworth ask someone, a different detective? Where had he come from?

“Why exactly was that man placed under arrest, Detective?”

The detective glances at him curiously, “that... samurai?”

Edgeworth grins slightly, “he was born looking suspicious, but not for the reasons you suspect, I assure you. As you can plainly see, he is completely harmless.” Larry gives him a dirty look, now is not the time for jokes but Edgeworth doesn’t seem to mean anything by it other than light ribbing.

The detective looks at him and hesitates, “well, it was just a random guess... It's not like he's actually under arrest...”

What? Larry spins to look at the agent, who had certainly made it sound like he was being arrested before he decides that is not a man he wants to fight. Samurai sword or no.

“Tonight, here, at the Allebahstian Embassy Ambassador Alba was to give a commemorative speech. And that's when... the Yatagarasu showed. But keep in mind... the Yatagarasu isn't who I'm talking about right now.”

Larry tries to catch Edgeworth’s eyes, the whomst? But Edgeworth’s focus is on the detective as he continues.

“Those seats for the guests who had been called to sit in them were empty.””

Edgeworth glances at Larry out of the corner of his eye, “a no-show...? Who was it that failed to take their seat?”

“Me,” Larry muttered miserably, “I was up on the roof.” And had completely forgotten.

The detective, Larry leans to see the name Badd – is that a joke?!? – pinned on his shirt. “The Steel Samurai. Until the speech was to begin, each member of the entire Steel Samurai family was to wait in a separate room, However, for some weird reason that man was spotted in a different location than his assigned room at that time.”

“On the roof,” Edgeworth finishes, and glances at Larry, “and what, were you doing up there?”

Larry tugs on his collar, “After the show, I left the pushcart in the Rose Garden, and came into the embassy. Then, they took a picture of me shaking hands with the ambassador. After that, and until my next appearance, I had some free time, so I wandered around, and I was overheating so I thought I’d go outside and cool off. Celebrate a little.” Stupid, stupid, stupid. “That's when I spotted the chimney. A chimney like that is a rare thing, you know.” He bites back his excitement, “and I was busy admiring the architecture and missed my cue and that’s when they found me on the roof.”

“You were just up there cooling off?” Edgeworth repeats, as though there’s doubt. Larry shrugs his shoulders.

“Did a little people watching too and that sort of thing but mostly yeah.” He pauses, “I was also wondering why smoke was pouring out of it, given it’s March. In LA. You know, not the time to cuddle up in front of a fire.”

He folds his arms and tilts his head to think, “which is really weird ‘cause I think that’s Mindy’s room and she was taken away on a stretcher so I don’t know why she’d want to overheat.”

Edgeworth and Von Karma startle at that and he realizes he’s probably handed them some evidence they’ll need to make sense of. He gives them a chance to prowl around the room and investigate, doing his best to stay out of the way while keeping Edgeworth between him and the wolf guy. He has a very intense stare as he watches Larry from across the room, he certainly knows his aesthetic and lives up to it.

"I must again ask why we are helping this foolish fool," Von Karma asks with a glance over at Larry, who grins sheepishly.

Edgeworth glances at his sister, "that man helped me when I was at my lowest point and believed that I could return. I would like to offer Larry the same chance."

"Thanks, Edgy- wait that man? Do you mean-"

"Can someone please get the Pink Princess so we can ask her some questions?" Edgeworth smoothly steamrolls over Larry's confusion. That man really.

The wolf man huffs, eyes narrowing as he watches them, Larry feels very much like a rabbit might under the gaze of a wolf. Edgeworth’s attention turns to him now and the investigator shifts to address him.

“You did some investigating over in the Babahlese Embassy, too, right?”

Edgeworth nods once, “I did. Is there a problem?” It’s like a tennis match, though Larry thinks Edgeworth prefers when his partner on the court (hah) is Nick.

“Lang Zi says: ‘A wolf who aims to hunt for two rabbits at once...’” he rumbles, almost a warning and Larry kinda wishes he could be that intimidating.

Edgeworth keeps his cool though, and Larry is very impressed. “I believe the idiom you require is, ‘He who runs after two hares will catch neither.’”

The agent scoffs openly at that, “A real wolf can catch both.”

Edgeworth smirks just slightly and Larry knows he’s got him. “I see. So, what are you trying to say, seeing as how I am currently handling two cases?”

The agent pauses before he snorts again, “suit yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you.” Larry isn’t sure he even did that in the entire conversation but he’s having the horrifying realization of why the agent’s way of talking sounds familiar. He talks like WolfDragon. But like WolfDragon if he was a rampant asshole.

Edgeworth turns to Larry now, “I have some questions for you.”

“I’ve got some for you as well,” Larry folds his arms over his chest, the costume clanging slightly as he does, “what’s with you and that man” he rolls his eyes at the term, “and adopting kids? Like you turn your back and he’s got another one and now you’ve got one hanging off you. Where is she by the way?”

“She couldn’t get- she is not my- I am not adopting anyone,” Edgeworth flusters and the agent lifts his eyebrow.

“Maybe you two could be childhood friends.” He mused out loud, Larry gives him a dirty look before he can think better of it.

The pink princess arriving keeps Larry’s foot out of his mouth for the moment. “Hey!” He greets her cheerfully; he likes Mindy and thinks she likes him. Thinks she liked him a lot more when he mentioned off handedly that he wasn’t dating right now because he was focusing on getting himself and his life back in order. “Feeling any better?”

There’s no response and Larry finds that a bit unsettling. “Umm.”

Edgeworth and Von Karma glance at her and then begin musing over the fireplace, Larry has no idea how the fireplaces could be connected; his only experience with architecture was drawing it. He could admire it, but he didn’t know the mechanics.

But it’s important to the two of them obviously. Larry’s not sure how he feels watching them interact. It’s like they almost get along but can’t help sabotaging their own relationship.

Edgeworth turns from his sister and the fireplace to Mindy, “Ms. Pink Princess. I have a few questions I'd like to ask you.”

Once more she doesn’t answer, and Larry and Edgeworth share a concerned look. The agent shifts his weight slightly, Larry realizes in that moment if something has happened to Mindy at least he’ll be on their side in this.

Edgeworth took a step forward, calmly, “Ms. Pink Princess! If you would please answer...” as he spoke, she began to remove her helmet and Edgeworth’s voice definitely shot up an octave on “me!”

Edgeworth makes a noise like a computer finding an error and Larry was given vivid flashes of that one cursed job, his past has all come back to haunt him today hasn’t it?

“Wh-what the--!? A-Aren't you Ms. Oldbag!?” Larry stammers out, barely managing to not curse, mostly out of fear Von Karma will strike him.

Edgeworth whirls on him, “why are you so surprised!?”

Oldbag looks surprised to see him, “Ah, so you're the one they got to play the Steel Samurai. It's too bad I didn't realize that until now.”

“You are acquaintances with Larry...?” Bit stronger of a relationship than Larry would say they have but he’ll gladly let Edgeworth talk to her.

Oldbag laughs and waves her hand like she’s trying to reassure a jealous lover, “why, yes! We worked at the same company for a little while, you know. That's why it's OK, my Edgey-poo! You don't need to be jealous!”

Edgeworth makes a strangled noise and Larry does not blame him in the slightest.

Oldbag continues, “I was in the next room, you know, trying to get in some beauty sleep. But it was so noisy here that I couldn't fall asleep. So, I came over to complain! So, imagine my shock when I saw my precious Edgey-poo waiting here for me! I mean, who could've imagined that you would ever come to a show like this! I guess I've misjudged you, Edgey-poo!”

Von Karma and Larry both shift closer to Edgeworth as though he might need them for support. Von Karma pulls on her coiled whip and asked slowly, “you ‘misjudged’ him...?”

“I thought he was trying to avoid me, you know!” She laughs but Larry can see by Edgeworth’s face that was exactly what he was doing. “But it looks like the winds have shifted and he's now willing to be chased after! I'm simply overwhelmed! Don't you worry, Edgey-poo! I'd chase you for forever! To the ends of the Earth!”

Von Karma looks ready to jump in front of her brother and buy him time to run but instead says, “Isn't that just peachy?”

Oldbag explains that she used to work for the studio, and they’d called her last minute as understudy for Mindy. That certainly did explain why “Mindy” had missed so many cues and fumbled in so many places. Larry had done his best to cover for his co-star when he’d needed to. Which he’d had.

“How did you get the role,” Edgeworth asks Larry absently as they watch her hand the paper proving it to Von Karma.

“Guy they wanted for the role got a bigger acting offer. Some movie that’s gonna have John Marsh in it or something.” Edgeworth nods and Larry adds, "I also thought I was applying for the crew."

"That... does make more sense."

"Yeah, I'm good with my hands and arts and building stuff, so I figured stage and tech couldn't be that hard, helped once with one of Nick's things in college but I guess I clicked the wrong link or something 'cause I got called in for an audition."

Edgeworth’s soft laugh is fond, “that does seem your kind of luck.”

Larry grins at him and shrugs, a feeling of warmth uncurling in his chest. If he wasn’t accused of murder this would be downright heartwarming.

The sound of a dog barking makes them start, Larry turns his head, since when did police departments use Shibas?

The Agent immediately begins to praise him, Larry settles next to Edgeworth to watch the unfold. After a moment he leans over and asks, “what his name anyway? The guy who like tried to arrest me.”

“Agent Lang, he’s with Interpol.” Edgeworth replies and Larry tries to suppress a shudder at just how much trouble he’s gotten himself into.

Larry watches Edgeworth debate and reason exactly how Larry isn’t the killer and connect various pieces of evidence with a speed that Larry has to admire. “You’re a real Sherlock Holmes Edgy,” he comments with a grin as he watches Edgeworth display his wit.

Agent Lang huffs and curls his lip in a smirk and Larry’s eyes widen, was this guy an actual werewolf why were his teeth like that?!?

He jerks back as Agent Lang speaks, “well done Mr. Prosecutor.” He glances between the two of them, “although, I still find it a bit unbelievable that the two of you are friends.”

Edgeworth and Larry are silent, they’ve proved how well they know each other, if that’s not enough for him Larry doesn’t know what will be. Especially if he’s gonna be like this about it.

Lang’s eyes glint with a bit of excitement, “but the suspicion on that guy over there-” head jerk at Larry, “isn't completely resolved yet, so don't get any funny ideas about running off, OK?” This time he smirks at Larry and he steps back.

“Uh Edgy, what does Wolfman mean when he says I’m not off the hook?” He thinks Lang twitches at the Wolfman name. He knows he does, it slipped out by accident, but Agent Lang is like WolfDragon’s evil twin or something.

Edgeworth sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose, “he means the murder weapon. Larry, did you forget? There are two layers of suspicion hanging over your head.”

Lang smirks like the wolf who has caught the first scent of blood, “That's exactly what I mean. We can't only rely on the words of the suspect, after all. We may have figured out where he was and what he was doing all night… but the blood-stained Samurai Sword that was left at the crime scene- As long as there is no satisfactory explanation for that then this wolf will refuse to ease up on his bite!”

Larry thinks he snapped his teeth at the end of his sentence, “Jesus, Edgy, He looks like he's seriously about to take a bite out of me!”

Edgeworth glares at Lang, “he probably will.” He draws himself up and steps up to debate, Larry’s beginning to realize that with his luck it’s a damn good thing his two childhood friends became lawyers.

He chimes in when he can, confirming that the spear and the sword are made of the same stuff and bend easily, he’s pretty sure not even Lang could kill a man with one. It would be rather like killing a man with a carboard tube.

And then Franziska and Edgeworth finally get to what has been lingering underneath the surface of their exchanges.

Her father.

Larry hates that man more than he could ever put into words. He remembers Greggory Edgeworth faintly, more a kind feeling, a warmth and an aching loss. He knows exactly what he did to Edgeworth though and for that he will never forgive him. He bites his words back though; this is between the siblings.

And you know it’s serious when your sibling calls you by your last name, “Ms. von Karma, as you know, unlike your father, I am not a genius prosecutor. Plus, I doubt his record of a 40-year win streak will ever be broken.” Edgeworth raises his head proudly, “but perhaps, it is for the best if it remains unbroken. For no one should've conceived of the notion to ‘convict all defendants’ in the first place!”

“Atta a boy Edgy,” Larry’s muttered praise fills the silence as Franziska stares at her brother. Her whip strikes over his armor and he yelps.

“What a foolishly foolish statement from a foolish fool who hates to lose!” Franziska steps towards her brother which is hardly intimidating in Larry’s opinion when Edgeworth is that much taller, “it's the job of a prosecutor to make sure that all defendants are found guilty in court. There is nothing more important in this world than a perfect victory!”

Edgeworth shakes his head sadly at her, “That may be your opinion, however, I don't believe that's all we are.”

Lang makes a startled noise, Larry smirks at him now, like he told WolfDragon, Edgy is the best of the prosecution, not for his record but for his beliefs.

“As a prosecutor, what I pursue is not the perfect victory, but the perfect truth. And if that means that the bridge, I must cross will crumble beneath my feet... ...then let it crumble as I walk on towards the truth!” Larry itches to write that down, or clap, or something. He just grins at Edgeworth with pride, and he catches a hint of gratitude from Edgeworth. Edgeworth has come a long way from his ‘Demon Prosecutor’ days and Larry’s so happy to see him get here.

Lang is quite a moment longer, perhaps aware of the moment they are sharing before he grins and cuts in, “you're good at keeping me entertained, Mr. Prosecutor!” He looks actually pleased, not the cocky arrogance Larry’s begun to associate with him, but it shifts back into the challenging smirk and he and Edgeworth start going again.

The verbal sparring is much louder when Larry is standing right next to everyone yelling “Hold it!” and “Objection!” and “Not so fast!” His head spins but Edgeworth proves that the murder weapon wasn’t even the sword. Or would’ve if they’d be allowed to examine it.

Larry feels a pang of guilt as Edgeworth agrees to take the responsibility for any repercussions from examining the statue, this is his fault. If he’d been more careful, if he’d been where he was supposed to be Edgeworth wouldn’t be risking everything for him.

Except that this evidence they find is literally game changing. He’s off the hook and everyone looks too busy to explain what is happening, so he heads off back to his room.

Once there he realizes that his ‘son’ is missing. Great. The last thing he needs is to get in trouble for having lost a prop. Nothing for it. He’ll just have to check everywhere that isn’t a crime scene. Actually, that might be a good idea. Keep him out of the way and out of trouble. But first he needs to get out of this costume before he sweats to death.

[eddycurrents]

BPRD: Hell on Earth ~ The Exorcist - “The Exorcist” - Chapter One

Story: Mike Mignola, Cameron Stewart, & Chris Roberson | Art: Mike Norton | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in BPRD: Hell on Earth #140 | April 2016

Collected in BPRD: Hell on Earth - Volume 14: The Exorcist | BPRD: Hell on Earth Omnibus - Volume 4

Plot Summary:

After chasing down a cultist for information and ending up in a confrontation with Berith, Ashley Strode follows a lead to a small nigh abandoned town founded by cultists, where children have been going missing for months.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issue or collections.)

pg. 1 - This one has me a bit confused. “Fifteen months later” than what? Is it fifteen months after Exorcism? Based on what we get in the story, it’s definitely not fifteen months after the events that follow. Now, I checked my copy of the individual issues and the caption is different there. There it’s just “Central Oregon”, so I would guess in relation to the previous arc. It’s somewhat unclear.

That being said, it’s otherwise a nice creepy opening. With a kid being lured away by a toy seemingly operating on its own.

pg. 3 - Really quite like this humour. Also, why do they always run? Where do they think they’re going?

pg. 4 - Apparently this guy is a magickal dumbass. Who in their right might tattoos numerous goetic sigils on to themselves? That’s just asking to be owned by your demons.

pg. 5 - This is Enochian that Trent here is spouting. To be specific, this is part of the Ninth Key from Dee and Kelley’s Forty-Eight Angelical Calls from amongst their various Enochian workings that yielded the Tablet of Union. I’m not rightly sure what it has to do with Berith, though. Berith is a duke of hell, part of the Ars Goetia, not an angel. This is mixing two systems that aren’t really cognate.

Even then, in his invocation, he’s basically stating, “A mighty guard of fire with two-edged swords flaming, have set their feet in the West, and are measured with their ministers.” It’s a fragment of something that’s used for something else entirely.

Granted, Trent has a mixture of different systems and alchemical symbols written on his walls and body, so we could still chalk it up to magickal dumbass. I mean, he is setting himself on fire, so it would make sense that he’d confuse angelic invocation with demonic evocation.

And I’ve spent entirely too long trying to reconcile why a comic character would be using the wrong system.

pg. 6 - Nice to see the sword again. Also, unlike Andras and his beautiful white plumage, Berith is looking a little worse for wear as a duke of hell. Hell’s definitely fallen on hard times.

pg. 7 - I do really like how we switch perspective between the spiritual and physical planes here. Especially when Trent is on fire in the physical plane.

pg. 8 - Berith definitely doesn’t seem to want to go back to Hell. Seeing what’s going on in Hellboy in Hell, you can’t really blame him.

Now, this ring with Berith’s sigil. THAT makes sense. It’s a little more elaborate than a more usual pantacle, but it makes sense for a working.

pg. 9 - It’s nice to see a relationship again. Even if it does look like a random bar pick-up, after Kate’s latest disastrous romance, there’s been little for any of the agents.

pg. 11 - This is kind of convenient. What are the odds that Ashley would just so happen to pick up someone who grew up in the place that she’s looking for?

pg. 12 - That is a lot of missing kids. Including the kid that we saw in the opening.

pg. 13 - I never get tired of that joke.

pg. 16 - Bartenders are always a great source for information. And when they’ve got pictures of the owners and the town that give out further clues.

pg. 17 - I like how Mike Norton has been laying out these pages, and the thick jagged panel borders. It gives it a different feel from many of the other BPRD stories. Almost like we’re on the fringes of this world.

Also, two more dumbasses.

pg. 18-19 - Just great action here. One seasoned agent against two larger opponents with bats and she nicely mops the floor with them.

pg. 20 - This is funny. Also, true. The average practitioner of any kind of magick, even fringe societies like you see here in this cult of Berith, tend not towards human sacrifice. Even when there is, it’s not what you’d normally think. I love the incredulity the brothers have.

pg. 22 -  ♫ There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place ♫

Final Thoughts:

As it’s presented here, it’s not noticeable at all because one chapter just rolls into the next one. When published in individual issues, though, there was a four year break in between Exorcism and The Exorcist. That can definitely lead to missing or even forgetting a character, losing details and such, just as many are possibly wondering what exactly did happen with the UN liaison that we saw still in Exorcism.

Any way, it’s basically been four years since we saw Ashley Strode in a leading bit like the previous chapter, so it’s interesting to see what’s changed, how she’s become a more confident and assured exorcist, and is essentially kicking ass and taking demon names. We also get a fairly straightforward explanation for why she’s not been in the main stories, working alone out in the field, but it feels like this story is possibly going to change that.

It’s also nice to see Mike Norton brought into the fold here of BPRD artists. He has a style that fits the same tone that Cameron Stewart initially established, excelling at mixing demons and badass women.

d. emerson eddy said he needed some exercise, not that he needed to be exorcised, Papa please call off the priests.

[tinymintywolf]

I don’t normally post this kind of thing here, but I really need to rant about art theft

Lately I haven’t concerned myself much with reposts on instagram. Mainly because I’ve been so busy, I don’t have the time to track down every account and fill out a copyright report. Sometimes people will dm me or tag me in a comment to let me know, which I REALLY appreciate, but even those sometimes get lost in my notifications. I’ve had to let some of it go just for the sake of my own mental health, otherwise I end up constantly stressed and frustrated.

Just yesterday I was trying to deal with a couple of reposts, and I’ve got people re-uploading my work after I had already reported and removed it, people claiming that because my watermark is visible, they don’t need to give credit, or blocking me before I can report them (joke’s on you, I can just get the link from another browser lol).

I’ve told people on Instagram that they can repost if they tag and credit me properly. I felt it was the best solution because I understand if people want to share something to their own page, instagram doesn’t have a built-in feature for doing that the way tumblr or twitter does. But I’m so sick of these fandom accounts that just build a huge following off of other people’s content. I’m sick of seeing captions like “Follow me for more awesome Marvel art/content!” and then add my name as an afterthought at the very bottom.

I know instagram will never do it, but I wish they’d implement some kind of sharing feature that automatically links back to the artist. (Maybe you could “lock” some posts if you don’t want them shared to other profiles, I know people might still repost but it would at least discourage the art theft a little bit.) I

I’m tired. I don’t know what to do because I know regardless of what I say, it will happen anyway.

I may just have to make my watermark more big and ugly and obvious ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry guys I know it’s obnoxious but I’m just done w/ all this

[douxreviews]

The Punisher - ‘The Dark Hearts of Men’  Review

"Who among us can look at themselves without shame?"

I'm just going to say it up front.

I was wrong about Pilgrim.

Wow. That was just a really well constructed episode. Honestly, I kind of want this review to just be 'That was really good. You should go watch that, if you haven't already.'

The Punisher gives us an episode structure that we've seen done elsewhere, does it well, and then at the very end turns the entire thing on its head with a last minute reveal that totally changes what we thought we were watching.

The structure in question is the time honored 'Main characters in separate, self contained character studies that never intersect.' The first previous example of this structure to come to mind is of course 'Conversations with Dead People' over on Buffy. This structure has two main virtues. First, it's a great way to really focus on character development before your season long arc kicks into high gear. Second, and more usefully, it's a great way to cover the fact that your main actors couldn't get their schedules to match long enough to get a scene with them together.

I doubt that scheduling was an issue in this case though, as 'Dark Hearts of Man' is, in hindsight, clearly structured the way it is for a very specific reason. Last chance for a spoiler warning if you haven't watched it, because we're about to discuss that last minute pivot, and it really works better as a surprise if you don't know it's coming.

For most of the episode's runtime we think we're watching three separate character studies. Well, two character studies and an action sequence that pauses a lot for brown study. We have Pilgrim, recovering from a fight, Dinah and Krista sharing a girls night of red wine and a debate on the ethics of retaliatory violence, and Frank and Curtis preparing to raid Billy's hideout and then actually raiding Billy hideout.

Taking those one at a time, let's talk about John Pilgrim. In my review of a few episodes back, I complained about how cliched hypocritical religious figures who judge others while they do bad things themselves are. That remains true, but it's not at all what the show was doing with Pilgrim and I apologize for assuming that that was where it was going. Pilgrim, it turns out, was once part of a white supremist group, but somehow got away from them, changed his name, and tried to become a better man by embracing religion. Unfortunately, it appears that no matter how hard he tries to be a good man he keeps getting dragged back into a world of violence and that that world is still very much part of his own nature. The image of bloody, cut up John Pilgrim, barely able to move from all his injuries, forcing his arm out to pick up his preacher's hat and put it back on seems like it kind of sums up Pilgrim's entire existence. The montage of him in the hotel afterwards recovering from the fight through the application of whiskey, cocaine, and prostitutes is as broken as I've ever seen a character on television, and it was fascinating. Great work by Josh Stewart.

Meanwhile, Dinah and Krista's conversation was so close to being healthy. If you didn't have any outside context it genuinely would have seemed like a healthy friendship, and Krista's advice was totally solid. But wow, the undercurrents of unhealthy going on there. Essentially they were debating about whose man was better, so sadly they receive no Bechdel test points for today, but if you look at what exactly each of them was trying to say, something interesting turns up. Dinah was arguing that Frank is basically a good man, as adjusted for personal circumstances. Whereas Krista is arguing that Billy isn't any worse than Frank is, because Frank is just as bad. Those are not equivalent arguments, and it says a lot about each of the women involved. Also, I can't have been the only one saying to themselves, 'Hey Dinah. maybe ask why the light fixture is dangling from the ceiling... that might be important...'

And finally we have Frank and Curt, just hanging out on the roof waiting for night to fall so they can try to take Billy out. For all that Frank jokes with him about it, it's very clear that they both know that Curtis would never in a million years turn him in for the reward money. It's also clear that Curtis knows Frank would still rather be there with Billy. That's just a sad and multilayered dynamic, and I like the way everyone involved played it. It was almost a shame to get the actual action sequence, because the character work was so well done between the three men, without Billy even being physically there.

The bookending of Frank and Billy getting jumped in by their military brethren and Frank getting jumped out by Billy's crew in the warehouse was a nice bit of structural detail as well, the first being an, arguably unhealthy but we're not judging here, example of male bonding. The second being what we might refer to us 'male un-bonding'. They frame the discussion between Frank and Curtis nicely, as well as just being a really solid structural hook to frame your episode around.

So there we have it, a nice little episode that explores three different situations in a way that helps us to understand the characters involved better, so that we have a better feeling for the personal stakes involved as the series moves into its end game. Or at least that's what we thought we'd just watched, but then the episode pulls the rug out from under us with the reveal that what we'd really just seen was the story of how Krista realized how to destroy Frank based on her ostensibly friendly conversation with Dinah. We were simultaneously watching her come up with the plan and the plan being carried out, and we had no idea. Now that's a neat way twist an ending. To be fair, they were upfront about showing their cards; they showed us the '24 hours earlier' screen caption when Krista and Dinah's conversation began. But man, who could have guessed how important that time disconnect would turn out to be. Well played, show.

Bits-

-- I really, really wish that I didn't immediately know what the '14' tattoo on Pilgrim's assailant's arm meant. Short version, it means he's a white supremist. If you don't know specifically what the 14 means, I beg you to count yourself lucky and not look it up. You're happier not knowing.

-- Fascinating as Pilgrim's meltdown into his old habits was, I did kind of wonder where he got the cocaine. That was cocaine, right? I think that was cocaine.

-- Both fight scenes this episode were hard to watch. To the extent that I started having trouble believing that anyone involved in them wasn't dead. Both were also not in hallways, which I think might be a fineable offense for a Marvel Netflix show.

-- It seemed like a flaw in the episode early on that we say Billy on the higher roof looking down on Frank and Curt but that he didn't kill him. It makes perfect sense now.

-- Speaking of Billy and his plan, his plan only really works if Frank kills all Billy's soldiers and makes his way to the room to find the dead innocent bystanders. Did Billy just assume that Frank would kill all of his guys and factor that into the plan? It kind of feels like he did. Which is just stone cold.

-- I desperately want to believe that Billy's soldiers had an arts and crafts night at Valhalla, at which they got out magic markers and all colored their masks together. Please show me that flashback.

-- The bulk of this episode was taken up with the question as to whether Frank was the same as Billy. Normally that would be boring, since the answer is obviously 'no', but here it turned out that the fact that the answer was obviously 'no' was sort of the point. It wasn't about proving that Frank was just like Billy, it was about a plot to make Frank believe that he was just like Billy. Clever use of the audiences expectations.

-- The choice of music for the montage of Pilgrim recovering from the fight was fantastic. This show actually does a really good job with the music cues.

-- Billy sees his fight with Frank as 'he thinks he's better than me'. That kind of glosses over the whole 'you killed his wife and family', Billy.

Quotes:

Billy: "Pain is only temporary, right?"

Dinah: "Does ‘friends’ come with a confidentiality clause?" Dr. Durant: "You can write me a check if it makes you feel better, Dinah."

Dinah: "When Frank smashed Billy into that mirror, he was looking at himself."

Pilgrim: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." White Supremist Guy: "You have no mercy coming." Pilgrim: "I wasn’t talking about me."

Frank: "That’s the thing with Bill. He’s always alone."

Pilgrim: "Brotherhood is a hall of mirrors."

Billy: "I am you, Frank!"

I am a huge fan of solid structure, and this episode has structure so solid you could build condos on it. Along with some genuinely moving character work, the reveal of unexpected depths in the bad guys, and an ending that makes you immediately watch the episode again.

Four out of four dangling chandeliers.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1129

Monday, September 24, 2018

 Hello all you off the rackers. How's it going eh? I've been away the last couple of weeks on a trip out west. We landed in Victoria, BC on September 6 and did a road trip visiting Duncan, Comox and Tofino. Had a wonderful reunion with my childhood friend from the Glebe in Comox who I haven't seen in nearly 25 years. Time in Tofino was spent walking the beaches and enjoying all sorts of culinary delights. If you've never been to Vancouver Island you should go just for the drive through the mountains. We could see a glacier from the air B&B in Tofino that we stayed in. Penny and I spent an extra couple of days in Vancouver before returning to Ottawa where we had a lovely dinner with some Comicshop alumni from the 1980s. Thanks to Brent, Colleen, Keith, Louise and Scooter for showing up and catching up.

 A tornado touched down in our area on Friday, September 21. The power at the house went out at 7 PM and we didn't get it back until 11 AM on Saturday. No damage in our neighbourhood but others were heavily damaged. Our new fence held up excellently, thanks to Keith Astley. We were very lucky to only be inconvenienced a little. I feel for the folks who lost their houses and businesses. I had to drive around on the weekend and was glad to see most people being patient and courteous at the intersections where the traffic lights were not working. I did see a few anal pores who thought that the rules didn't apply to them and made other drivers hesitate and thus slow the whole process down even more.

 This may very well be the last off the rack that I write. Comet Comics is closing down it's current location and moving its subscription service to a used book store up the street. I will be out of a job and will not be able to borrow comic books to read anymore. Thanks to Brent at The Comicshop in Vancouver, I found out that I started to write for the newsletter back in 1986 with an editorial and then writing the Newswatch section. My first off the rack was in 1994 and I have been doing it weekly since then with only a few breaks. I love sharing my thoughts about the comics that I read but it sometimes feels like I'm doing an unpaid job too. Thanks to Ron Van Leeuwen at The Silver Snail and Heather MacDonald at Comet Comics for allowing me to enjoy my comic book hobby gratis. I wish you all the best. Thanks to the folks that read my musings and the comments you've shared with me. You guys take care, okay?

 Cover #1 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) David Mack (art) Zu Orzu (colours) Carlos M. Mangual (letters). Things start off at a comic con where we meet Max Field, comic book artist. It looked to me that this was going to be about comic book covers like the reprints in the back of the book of the ones David Mack has done, but then we meet a super fan of Max's with very deep pockets. Her name is Julia. The story gets a lot more interesting when Julia shows up at a con in London, England and tells Max what her job is. David Mack's art is very distinctive but I didn't guess that this was drawn by him until I got to some painted panels later. This is an intriguing new book and I would put it on my "must read" list.

 The Immortal Hulk #6/LGY #723 - Al Ewing (writer) Lee Garbett (art) Paul Mounts (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I am very impressed with the writing. It's sophisticated and thought provoking. The new military organisation set up to handle the Hulk is creepy and eerie. This issue sets up a big fight between the Hulk and the Avengers so it looks like next issue will be a smashing good time.

 The Dreaming #1 - Simon Spurrier (writer) Bilquis Evely (art) Mat Lopes (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). The Sandman is AWOL, the Dreaming is crumbling and its denizens don't know what to do. Lucien the librarian is in charge but he seems overwhelmed by the chaos around him. Meanwhile, new character Dora is hopping about between dreams and we get a glimpse of her true self. There is so much that is intriguing about this new Vertigo series based on Neil Gaiman's creations that I think Sandman fans will be pleased.

 Return of Wolverine #1 - Charles Soule (writer) Steve McNiven (pencils) Jay Leisten (inks) Laura Martin (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). I consider myself to be a pretty good artist spotter. I can flip open a comic book and tell you who drew it but this time I was fooled and thought that Barry Windsor-Smith did the art for this issue. I still enjoyed the visual feast featuring Logan's return to the racks. Some fans might not be satisfied with no real explanation of how Logan came back to life and starts fighting the bad guys but I just accepted that he's here and has a mission to save the world. His foes are formidable and he starts off wearing the old familiar yellow and blue costume but changes by the last page to a more contemporary one. As much as I liked this getting a running start I do hope they tell us how Wolverine gets resurrected down the line.

 The Immortal Hulk #5/LGY #722 - Al Ewing (writer) Joe Bennett (pencils) Ruy Jose (inks) Paul Mounts (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I had a feeling I was missing something when I was reading #6 yesterday. This book is hitting the racks every two weeks and I didn't get a chance to read this issue before leaving on my trip to Vancouver Island two weeks ago. I'm glad I did because it explains the mysterious reflection that Bruce sees in the mirror in #6. I thought it was Major Talbot or the Leader with a normal sized head but it's not. Here we have the Hulk fighting Sasquatch and saving Walter Langkowski from himself. This issue also emphasises the fact that this new Hulk isn't just a mindless monster. I really like that this Hulk can have a regular conversation.

 Adventures of the Super Sons #2 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Carlo Barberi (pencils) Art Thibert (inks) Protobunker (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). How are a green Kryptonite weakened Superboy and a bound Robin going to defeat the Gang of young super villains? They get help, that's how. The last page made me smile because it uses a classic twist from the days of "The Death of Superman". This is a fun book.

 Avengers #7/LGY #697 - Jason Aaron (writer) Sara Pichelli (pencils) Sara Pichelli & Elisabetta D'Amico (inks) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). It's the origin story of the very first Ghost Rider plus a super villain that Wolverine fans will recognise. This issue is a nice segue to…

 Avengers #8/LGY #698 - Jason Aaron (writer) David Marquez (art) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). The current Ghost Rider, Roberto Reyes, arrives at the new Avengers headquarters and is officially made a member. The new HQ at the North Pole is very cool and pure comic book plausible. After a quick tour the team gets a global alert that Roxxon is up to no good and the battle cry is uttered. It's off to the southern seas and a confrontation with an old ally. Imperius Rex!

 Batman #54 - Tom King (writer) Matt Wagner (art) Tomeu Morey (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). Dick Grayson sticks around after Batman and Catwoman's break up to help Bruce get through it. It's a good excuse to remind us of their partnership. I loved how Dick's humour contrasted with Bruce's dour demeanour. Matt's art was a bonus for me.

 Batman #55 - Tom King (writer) Tony S. Daniel (pencils) Tony S. Daniel & Danny Miki (inks) Tomeu Morey (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). The Dynamic Duo continues to keep Gotham City safe while a one-armed stranger arrives to go about an unknown mission. That mission is revealed in the shocking last page. This incident may just top the Killing Joke.

 Pearl #2 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Michael Gaydos (art & colours) Josh Reed (letters). When the first caption of the first page reads "years ago" you know it's origin story time. This story about a Yakuza tattoo artist/assassin is very different from Brian Michael Bendis's super hero stuff for DC. His work on Superman doesn't engage me like this book, Cover, and Scarlet do. I think it's because he's got to write the Man of Steel to appeal to younger readers too. Maybe I've outgrown Superman.

 West Coast Avengers #2/LGY #104 - Kelly Thompson (writer) Stefano Caselli (art) Triona Farrell (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This is a little more sophisticated than the Adventures of the Super Sons but it's still a lot of fun. I especially like Stefano Caselli's facial expressions. The B.R.O.D.O.K. AKA Bio-Robotic Organism Designed Overwhelmingly for Kissing is an upgrade from the super villain M.O.D.O.K. AKA Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing, but he's still not nice.

 Thor #5/LGY #711 - Jason Aaron (writer) Christian Ward (art & colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). We take a break from the present and travel to the far flung future to see if Old Thor can save the universe from dying. He meets an old friend who turns out to be not so friendly. The amalgam of Wolverine and the Phoenix Force is cool but wait until you see the huge mash up on the last page as the villain is revealed. This guy makes Thanos look like Forbush Man.

[still-a-hetalian]

fruk!

Thank you for the ask!!!!

Big spoon/little spoon:

Honestly, I think it would justdepend on the kind of day either had. 

Favorite non-sexual activity:

I think these ridiculousold farts just love sitting next to each other as Arthur works on his needlepointand France reads his current favorite romance novel. Like they strike me as thekind of people that really appreciate just being near each other instead of constantlyhaving to do something together.

Who uses all the hot water:

France, thelength of his showers is damn-near legendary, I mean it does take time to carefor those gorgeous locks of his tho

Most trivial thing they fight over:

Seeing as howthey bicker over everything I can’t think of the most trivial. Though one timeEngland said that Brie cheese is overrated and France kicked him out of bed fora solid week.

Who does most of the cleaning:

As for generalhouse cleaning I see both, they’re both busy and they know it’ll get donequicker if they work together. Since France always cooks though, Arthur alwayscleans up the kitchen.  

What has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflixqueue:

Oh boy this isone thing they fight about a lot, England always wants to watch BBC dramas andFrance always wants to watch French art house films (and never with captions,the horror). It usually ends withtaking turns.

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:

England, theirlandlord is kind of stubborn and he has absolutely no qualms about beingaggressive and calling every hour until the heat gets fixed.  

Who steals the blankets:

Both, thefights they’ve had at 2am over blankets could rival any war they’ve fought in. They’vehonestly thought about just buying two sets of sheets for the bed.

Who leaves their stuff around:

Both, Francehas a tendency to just throw clothes around when deciding what to wear, andEngland tends to leave paperwork and his craft supplies scattered around theirplace (France has stepped on many a stray sewing needle and is. Not. Impressed.)they both want to get mad at the other about it but they both understand thatthey are literally no better than the other. England also strikes me as theperson who never can find his keys, wallet, or phone, and France just stands sighingthere while England cuts around like mad until France tells him exactly wherehe put all of it.

Who remembers to buy the milk:

Neither, theygo food shopping together (England insists on him just going since France doesall the cooking but France 100% does not trust England to grab the right thingsfor him so they both just end up going even if it’s a little hard to navigatewith their busy schedules) and literally both of them forget every time. LikeFrance even always writes out food shopping lists of everything they need butstill forgets until they’re like on their front doorstep it hits them that theyforgot it.

Who remembers anniversaries:

I can seeeither or. Like they both live such busy lives that neither of them get angry overit if the other forgets. France usually remembers naturally but England alwaysmakes sure he marks it on a calendar or something to remind himself, sometimesworks, sometimes not. Really they only celebrate their anniversary every yearafter, say, their ten year benchmark because France is a die-hard romantic andEngland knows it makes France happy.

Who cooks normally?

 FRANCE! Hewill not let England step foot in his kitchen!

How often do they fight?

Bicker?Literally all the time, it’s usually about the little stuff. But like full-onfights? I feel like there was probably a lot of that in the beginning of theirrelationship bc lets be real these two have some major baggage to sort out butas their relationship progresses I think after they’ve gone through it allso it’s really not often. I feel like France would be really pragmatic aboutworking shit out in their relationship.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Seeing as how they’rejobs keep them in different countries a lot I imagine there’s a lot ofphone-calling (France insists on calling every night, and England says itstotally unnecessary but deep down doesn’t think he could fall asleep if theydon’t talk at least once a day) and once Skype becomes a thing, the distanceisn’t nearly as painful since they do at least get to see each other. They’re also both thankful that they’re stillrelatively close since they’re usually just a train ride away.

Nicknames for each other?

Nothingspecial. Darling, mon cher, love, etc. They use the really sappy and ridiculousones sarcastically when they’re mad at each other tho (cuddle muffin, babycakes, etc.)

Who is more likely to pay for dinner?

England, Francewill always insist but England always is able to distract him and take care ofthe check before France even notices.

What would they get each other for gifts?

I am completelyconvinced France would get England flowers like all the time, but besides thatI can see them as the kind of people would surprise the other with little giftsthat just reminded them of the other. One time though England bought France amug in the shape of a frog and in return France bought England a “magic tricksfor children” set.

Who made the first move?/ Who started the relationship?

I think Englanddid, I know it’s kind of cheesy but I like to imagine that they were in themiddle of a huge argument and a “Because I love you, you idiot!” slipped outand cue them being together ever since. They just don’t strike me a couple thatcould get together any other way seeing as how they’ve known each other for solong and France is usually so flirtatious in general that if he tried to startanything, England would just write off as him being his usual thing.

Who kissed who first?

France, definitely, after Arthurtold him he loved him he just went for it

Who remembers things?

Neither,they’re a mess tbh. Both will remember something at the last minute and justcue the mayhem that ensues.

Who cusses more?

ARTHUR! 100%!The guy has the vocabulary of a sailor (yes that is 100% a pirate!England joke).Though France definitely has been known to mutter a few swears under hisbreath, mostly during particularly annoying world meetings… 

What would they do if the other was hurt?

I’m not sure ifthis means in like a physical or emotional way. As for physical, like I’m surethey’re both pretty well versed in first-aid at this point after so many warsso there’s that. If it was serious I feel like they’d be the couple that getsangry at the other for letting themselves get hurt then just dissolve into apuddle of tears.  And emotionally, teaand blankets can solve almost any problem.

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #16 (1980)

Cerebus is going up the stairs while Lord Julius is going down them. In the same direction.

Cerebus is often touted as the greatest independent comic book of all time (for various reasons) but I'd like to point out that Elfquest told an incredible story with beautiful art in just 20 issues as opposed to 300. Plus it had an elf orgy. Also, I know it continued on after the first 20 issue story arc but we can ignore the rest of the story because there was never another elf orgy and also the rest of the series concentrated too much on Skywise's fear of dying which was totally valid but was often used as a foil to make Cutter seem braver and more loyal to his wolf roots but really just showed he was stubborn and dumb and totally didn't fuck as many elf maidens as Skywise did. Cerebus does have some sex in his comic book but since the first sex he has is when he rapes Astoria, I don't think anybody was really clamoring for any more of that. I mean, sure, some people were! I didn't mean to erase the sickos and perverts out there. Sorry, jerks! I'm sure the "A Note from the Publisher" bit by Deni seemed like a good idea when starting out on a harrowing self-publishing journey like that of Cerebus. But it quickly became a space where Deni just says, "Self-publishing is fraught with hardships and also this is a really good issue! I won't spoil it! Goodbye!" I won't be sad to see the divorce happen! That's an okay thing to say because it already happened, right? It's not like my wishing for the end of their marriage in 2020 somehow brought about the end of their marriage in the early 80s. Is it? I never took a college course on cause and effect so who the fuck knows? Unless that Critical Literary Theory class was about that?! Oh my God! I think I understand it now! Dave's finale to the "Swords of Cerebus" essay that has been broken up over the last three issues describes how he was consciously drawing the Eye of the Pyramid cult leader's gigantic penis while drawing the snake. Sorry to report, though, that he's being sarcastic. Apparently Dave is above using phallic imagery to make a point about patriarchal themes. Only fucking hacks do shit like that! Take that, whoever wrote fucking Beowulf!

Even if Sim can't see the humor in everybody assuming he made a giant snake dick joke on purpose, he can still be extraordinarily funny with the least of materials.

This issue takes Cerebus to his first fancy dress party (that's a costume party for all of you people who aren't British (which is also me but only because I was born a citizen of the United States of America who didn't have a choice but knew it was a huge mistake as I was learning about Monty Python's Flying Circus and Dave Allen at Large in elementary school and The Young Ones in junior high and Red Dwarf in college)). Cerebus changes out of his vest and puts on his costume: a furry black jumper (that's sweater for all of you people who aren't British (which is also me but only because I was forced to watch mostly American popular entertainment until the advent of YouTube and now I mostly just watch Taskmaster over and over (by the way, is Taskmaster as good for people who don't know all of the "contestants" or do I enjoy it more because I recognize and like almost all of the people on the show?)). Lord Julius is dressed as an, um, a, uh, Estarcion matador? I have no context in which to guess what he is.

Certain people like Cerebus because he says what's on his mind. I purposefully used the passive voice here so you can't prove one of those people is me.

Lord Julius has a follow-up joke that leaves the reader thinking, "I guess all Pavrovians are fat?" That's Dave Sim continuing his work on Estarcion continuity! Remember how Pavrovians are the, um, you knows of Estarcion! You know the nationality I'm thinking of! The ones that are all the things people usually find insulting! Come on, you know who I'm talking about. The dumb fat arrogant stupid naive gullible ones! Yes, that's it! Americans! Try to remember Dave is Canadian. You have to think of Americans through Canadian eyes (which are the equivalent of smart, cynical Americans)! E'lass and Turg have gotten tickets to The Festival of Petunias so they can steal the Wyndmel Diamond. They're the duo composed of a giant muscular man and a little bitty shrimpy guy who last encountered (and were beaten by) Cerebus in Issue #6. E'lass is dressed like some kind of small dirt dwelling creature so I hope Cerebus gets offended by his costume and stabs him in the throat. There isn't enough random slaughter in this book about barbarians.

I haven't wanted to fuck a fish this badly since The Littler Mermaid.

I suppose I could have said "since Splash" in that last caption to seem more normal and less perverted but then you'd know I was lying. The assassins make a move on Lord Julius but Cerebus comes up with a plan to stop them that involves inducing the Palnu elite to throw herring-and-onion dip at them. Is that a parodied scene from Duck Soup or Conan the Barbarian? In the confusion, the lead assassin slips out through a secret door and E'lass, having just stolen the diamond and becoming increasingly paranoid that somebody saw him, slips through it as well. Cerebus and Lord Julius follow, having noticed the assassin but not E'lass. Most of the pursuit's tension comes from E'lass believing Cerebus remembers him and is now going to use the excuse of this new crime to murder him. It's more tense than I've even described because I really need Cerebus to murder somebody in this Swords & Sorcery book already. Reading this book waiting for a murder is like firing up a porn video on your laptop with your dick in your hands and realizing after five minutes that the video is almost over and was just a teaser for a pay porn site. Cerebus threatens to quit his job just before battling the assassin so he can negotiate a term of 8 bags of gold and a horse in exchange for killing the assassin as a pension before he goes. Julius agrees and Cerebus takes out the assassin with a rock to the head. I mean, I guess it's a murder so yay? But I was really hoping for some stabbing. Meanwhile E'lass lives through the cliché of the criminal whose paranoia gets the better of him and he tosses the diamond into a huge pit so he doesn't get caught only to discover that they never knew he took it anyway. Everything is wrapped up quickly and thoroughly with Cerebus given money and motivation to move on from Palnu. Dave complained about his heavy use of cliché in this Palnu trilogy and I have to say I agree with Dave. But I only agree with Dave on this point! Don't take that out of context and start raving on Twitter that Grunion Guy agrees with Dave's Issue #186 rant about girlfriends being illogical which is also secretly a rant about a guy who needs to get laid so badly he puts up with partners he probably wouldn't even be friends with and then finally just decides orgasms are evil and religion is super awesome but only if you smash all three People of The Book religions into one bland mash paste of ancient dogma. In the epilogue, Lord Julius receives a letter from his niece Jaka in which she expresses delight in possibly seeing Cerebus again. I guess Dave learned from Howard the Duck that comic book nerds really love for their anthropomorphic heroes to be fucking statuesque women. Perhaps every guy develops a fetish of being with a woman whose breasts are at head level due to being hugged constantly by their female relatives when they're ten years old. Deni's brother Michael's first installment of the "Aardvarkian Age" essays appears in this issue. It gives more details to the various nations of Estarcion and their inhabitants' culture, ruling styles, and brutality of their armies. I thought I'd be more interested in this than I actually wound up being. Maybe I thought it would be funnier? Instead, it's just a bunch of facts about made-up kingdoms to make them sound more believable by making them more like European countries in the Middle Ages. If this entire bit were just lifted from a history of Europe with the names of actual countries replaced by Estarcion countries, I wouldn't even notice. Mostly because I know nothing about European history. As I've always said, "Those who know about European history are doomed to repeat it, boring every single other person at the cocktail party." Dave apologizes for the quarter price increase of the comic book in the Aardvark Comments pages. Why, I hadn't even noticed! Probably because this is the Biweekly reprint issue and I purchased it as a collection off of eBay. Some people write in and discuss how Cerebus is a very fine and funny comic book. I nodded along in agreement as I read the letters. I only touched my private area twice while reading and neither time was for pleasure. The most surprising thing about "The Single Page" is that it clearly states who the comic was authored by: Kent Featherly. I don't know why so many of these single page comics aren't more clearly labeled. Isn't part of the reason for having them exposure for the artists drawing and writing them?! Not putting an effort to let a large audience know who you are and how they can read more of your work just sounds like something I would do. By the way, you should play this game I wrote, Starship Troopers: The Game. You can find it on the hard drive of my laptop. Cerebus #16 Rating: B. Look, it was funny and well drawn and all that. But even Dave said it relied too heavily on cliché plot devices. I've got to lower the grade when even the author points out some of the story's flaws! And I'd probably have come to the same conclusion without having been influenced by Dave Sim because I'm like the best Internet comic book critic who isn't a critic and isn't actually reviewing comic books. Also I almost forgot this evidence: I'm a Grandmaster Comic Book Reviewer! Nobody else can make that claim and if they do, they're plagiarizing me and I'd like you to point them out to me so I can send them a threatening email in which I pretend to be my own lawyer who is really good at suing dumb-dumbs.

[gyrlversion]

He looked f***ed. Clubber tells how UFC star Conor McGregor

Mugshot: MMA fighter Conor McGregor after his arrest on criminal mischief and strongarm robbery charges after taking Ahmed Abdirzak’s phone and smashing it

The shaken clubber whose phone was smashed and taken by Conor McGregor has branded the UFC superstar a ‘dangerous thug’ – telling DailyMail.com: ‘I was scared for my life.’ 

Ahmed Abdirzak, 22, was trying to video McGregor outside a Miami Beach nightspot when the snarling MMA legend flew into a rage and ‘punched’ his iPhone 8 out of his hand. 

Restaurant manager Ahmed then looked on in disbelief as McGregor, 30, picked up the handset and hurled it to the floor before stamping on it repeatedly. 

The Irishman then picked up the smashed phone and slipped it into his pocked before casually strolling back to SUV – laughing and adopting the signature McGregor swagger. The phone contained footage of the incident.

‘He walked away with that trademark McGregor strut that you see him enter the ring with in UFC,’ Ahmed told DailyMail.com in an exclusive interview.

‘I’m not going to lie, I was scared for my life – the guy is a lethal weapon.’ 

McGregor was arrested Monday evening and released hours later on $12,500 bond.

He faces charges of criminal mischief and strong-armed robbery. It is unclear if police have the phone and the footage it contains.

Crime scene: Ahmed Abdirzak tells DailyMail.com he was scared his life was at risk when Conor McGregor stormed up to him, grabbed him and seized his phone – at this spot here while he and his friend waited for their car. ‘I looked into his face and his eyes were bulging. He was so angry. I don’t know whether he was drunk or on drugs, but he looked f***ked.

Outcome: Conor McGregor, one of the highest-paid athletes in the world, is facing charges of misdemeanor criminal mischief and strong-armed robbery. He is seen leaving jail Monday night after being bonded out

Party venue: The Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami Beach is home to LIV where Conor McGregor was partying

Here to party: Conor McGregor was the least famous celebrity spotted by Ahmed Adbirzak and his friends in the LIV nightclub. The biggest name was rapper Blueface

Videos posted on Instagram show the MMA superstar partying with a number of people, including this woman in a captain’s hat

Inside the club: On one clip, Conor McGregor appeared to be arguing with another party-goer, with his arm raised. Hours later he was involved in the skirmish on the car park

Brit Ahmed, from Slough, Berkshire, and a group of friends flew into the U.S. last Friday for a Spring Break vacation in Miami Beach.

Top of their list of nightspots to visit was super club LIV in the swank Fontainebleau Hotel. 

‘Everyone told me that LIV is the place to be. The place is really high-end, the music was insane,’ he went on.

‘We saw loads of celebrities. The big US rapper Blueface was performing live. We had a fantastic evening. There was no trouble inside.

‘There was a lot of A-list celebrities there. Conor was probably the lowest there, nobody was showing him any love.

‘The only reason I was looking at him was because I was from the United kingdom and he’s big there.’ 

Other footage from inside LIV showed McGregor appearing to argue with a clubber as he partied with a number of women.

In a clip posted on Instagram, the Irish MMA star appeared to be shouting at a bearded man. McGregor edges closer to him, before the camera pans away. 

The alleged skirmish outside the club happened at 5am when Ahmed and his friends, including best friend Fuad Nur, 23, ran into the star in the hotel valet area as they waited for their rental car. 

‘My friend spotted him on the way out and shouted to him ‘McGregor, McGregor, we’ve come all the way from London’,’ he went on.

‘He turned to him and gave him a salute. I said ‘Man dem McGregor’ [a London street expression of friendship and appreciation] and he repeated it word for word, mocking me.

‘It seemed good-natured at that point though, he seemed friendly. I wasn’t insulting him or antagonizing him at all.

‘I don’t drink, I’ve never touched alcohol in my life. I’ve never done drugs. I was completely sober.’ 

Ahmed said McGregor began shouting lyrics from the hit rap song Thotiana which Blueface had performed inside the club. 

He insists he was about 15ft away when he took out his phone to record the spectacle – and that McGregor saw it and advanced towards him.

Defiance; Conor McGregor shared a picture of him in the back of a Miami Beach Police cruiser taken after his arrest – and showing him grinning

Message: The MMA fighter, 30, posted a picture of himself on social media with this caption

Home: McGregor keeps a house in Miami Beach and returned there after being bonded out

‘He reached out his left hand to greet me, to shake my hand. But then he held my arm so I couldn’t get away,’ said Ahmed. 

‘His grip was insane. I could tell he was a professional athlete. I thought he’s going to hit me. I was shocked.

‘I looked into his face and his eyes were bulging. He was so angry. I don’t know whether he was drunk or on drugs, but he looked f***ked. 

‘I just remained passive, I didn’t want to fight. Then with his right hand he punched the phone. It was so hard I felt the impact through my entire body.’ 

Ahmed said he watched the phone screen shatter. He tried to pick it up but says McGregor picked it up and threw it on the floor. 

‘He stamped on it four times. He then picked it up and put it in his jeans,’ Ahmed added. ‘I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. 

‘He did his swagger dance and headed to his black SUV with his entourage surrounding him.

‘I was asking them, “Can I get my phone back?” 

‘I tried to run after him and asked for it back but he just laughed.’ 

Amazingly, Ahmed, a dad-of-one who runs his family’s restaurant, Golis, Southall, west London, said the globetrotting sports star is yet to return the smashed iPhone.

‘He robbed me. It was daylight robbery. It wasn’t just a broken phone,’ he told DailyMail.com.

‘Nobody has taken the phone away from him and given it back to me. 

‘As far as I know he’s still got it. It’s got all my personal pictures of my mother and son that I will never be able to get back now. 

‘I’ve got friends in the UK who have done really minor crimes and they aren’t even allowed to come to America. They can’t get visas. 

‘How is it that this man, a guy with history of arrests and violence can just come in and out whenever he likes – all because he’s a big name celebrity. 

‘He’s a dangerous thug, very dangerous. He lives up to his name – notorious. He thinks the normal rules don’t apply to him.

‘I wouldn’t wish jail on anyone, but they should make an example out of him. His fans are already posting threats and jokes about me online.’  

Victim: Ahmed Abdirzak tells DailyMail.com: ‘He’s a dangerous thug, very dangerous. He lives up to his name – notorious. He thinks the normal rules don’t apply to him.’

Witness: Ahmed Abdirzak was with best friend Fuad Nur, 23, when the confrontation with McGregor happened

Arrest report: How police dealt with Conor McGregor

Abdirzak said he should at least have his ability to come and go freely from the U.S. withdrawn.  

‘I wouldn’t want to see anyone jailed or deported but I believe in justice,’ he added.

‘Coming to the US is a privilege. And if you do bad things you should lose that privilege

‘I don’t see why they should let him in again. He’s had enough chances to behave himself already.’

Monday’s incident came just three days after McGregor completed his probation for a violent altercation last April in Brooklyn when he attacked a bus carrying several UFC fighters by throwing a dolly through a window. 

McGregor turned himself in to police the day after the melee and was charged with assault and criminal mischief. 

He pleaded guilty in July to a single disorderly conduct charge in a Brooklyn courthouse in order to avoid prison time. 

On Friday it was announced that he’d completed five days of community service at churches in Brooklyn and had taken an anger management class. 

Had he violated probation, McGregor likely would have been faced jail time along with possible deportation to Ireland. 

The MMA fighter, 30, posted a picture of himself on social media Tuesday with the caption: ‘Patience in this world is a virtue I continue to work on. I love my friends dearly. Thank you all’. 

The rise of Conor McGregor

Conor McGregor makes his entrance before his fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr. in August 2017

Conor McGregor is known for his controversial, bragging persona in and out of the ring, which draws record numbers of viewers to his fights.

The 29-year-old Ultimate Fighting Champion was born in Dublin, Ireland, and began his mixed martial arts career at age 18 in an amateur match for the Irish Ring of Truth in his hometown.

He soon went professional and debuted in the MMA in 2009, collecting wins  both as a lightweight and a featherweight.

McGregor is the first European MMA fighter to hold titles from two divisions – featherweight and lightweigh – simultaneously.

In 2013, after being swarmed by requests to sign McGregor to the UFC during a trip to Ireland, the organization’s president Dana White complied and the fighter became the second-ever Irishman to compete for the organization.

McGregor has said that he collected a $200 check from Ireland’s welfare state just one week before his UFC debut, when he was working as a plumber.

He drew the biggest pay-per-view audience for an MMA fight ever when he fought Nate Diaz at UFC 202 in 2016 and defeated him. For that fight he earned $1million, becoming the first UFC fighter to get a seven-figure pay day.

That year he became the first MMA fighter ever to be included on Forbes’ list of highest-paid athletes.

McGregor has been in a relationship with Dee Devlin since 2008 and they share a child, Conor McGregor Jr who was born in May of 2017. 

In 2017 he announced he would go on hiatus from the UFC after winning the lightweight championship.

McGregor went on hiatus while undefeated as the lightweight champion but had already lost his featherweight championship. 

In August of 2017, McGregor he was paid a reported $30million to fight undefeated boxing legend Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a much-anticipated, yet ultimately uncompetitive match that he lost on the 10th round. 

McGregor’s relationship with the UFC hit the rocks in April 2018 when White ruled that he would be stripped of his Lightweight Championship belt because he hadn’t participated in a UFC event since 2016. 

The Irishman responded with a profane tweet that said: ‘You’ll strip me of nothing c***s.’    

Then two days before the UFC 223 event at Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York, McGregor arrived with an entourage at the end of a media event and triggered a melee in which he threw a dolly at a bus carrying other fighters. 

Several fighters were injured by broken glass and two had to miss upcoming fights.  

White called the incident the ‘most despicable thing in UFC history’.

McGregor turned himself in to police and was charged with three counts of assault and one count of criminal mischief.

He pleaded guilty in July to a single disorderly conduct charge in a Brooklyn courthouse in order to avoid prison time.

McGregor returned to the Octagon in August 2018 to challenge Khabib Nurmagomedov for the Lightweight Championship but was defeated in the fourth round in Las Vegas.    

He found himself in trouble with the law again in March 2019 after an altercation with a fan outside a nightclub in Miami Beach. 

McGregor was arrested and charged with misdemeanor criminal mischief and strong-armed robbery after he allegedly smashed a fan’s phone on March 11.

The post He looked f***ed. Clubber tells how UFC star Conor McGregor appeared first on Gyrlversion.

from WordPress https://www.gyrlversion.net/he-looked-fed-clubber-tells-how-ufc-star-conor-mcgregor/

[oscar-writing-of-new-media-blog]

Final Project: An Argument on HKBU Secret

Our work (Screenshot and translation)

#BU10339 Damn! We’ve done group projects together from 3 years ago. I still can’t expect that you would be the free rider in the group. You said that you didn’t want to do anything. I thought you were just kidding me. But you did nothing in fact. You always say you are very very very busy. Everyone is studying here but is anyone as busy as you? Due to your “contribution”, I need to finish your part of work in a hurry and overnight. You want to have a worse grade, it is ok. But now you are encumbering me to get a higher GPA! BIG SHIT! I don't want to see you in next semester! (Reported. You just need to wait for retaking the course.) [posted on 27/11/2017,104 reactions, 42 comments]

Related Comment

Aiko Tim Lee @Foss Chan We have been in same dormitory from a year ago.I still can’t expect that you would be the free rider in the group. You said that you didn’t want to do anything. I thought you were just kidding me. But you did nothing in fact. You always say you are very very very busy. Everyone is studying here but is anyone as busy as you? Lo

Judy Chan hihi (foul language in HK internet) why you freeride me

Louis Leung you know who is freeriding 😉

Judy Chan 😉

Hong Yung Chan Leung, give me a chance to be free rider in the next semester.

Louis Leung @Hong Yung Chan reg my major electives😂😂

Adrian Law @Gogo Chan i’m sorry

Gogo Chan @Adrian Law I'm sorry

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1576814599028451

#BU10352

"Re #BU10339

Are you joking?

I confess that I am a freerider. However,don’t you think that you should be responsible for this problem? As you know, my part should develop from your part. You should finish your part three days before the presentation if you on schedule. Unlucky, you just finished your part at the day before the presentation! I am not on call for this presentation! I still have other assignments! I am sure that you can finish your part if you spend your school time on study instead of joining the society committee! By the way, I don’t want to be a deadline fighter as you. I am busic!

Beside this, I don’t want to hand in a piece of rubbish even I need to retake this course.

[posted on 28/11/2017, 30 reactions, no comment]

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1578044518905459

#BU10366 Re #BU10352 Frankly speaking, we’ve been friend from 3 years ago. If you need help, just ask for my help. However, you do nothing without any notification. What do you mean?  You do not care about having a low GPA, it is OK. But I care. Having a low GPA, I’ll be harder to get in the job interview. Don’t tell me you can help me! Don’t tell me the theory which learnt in class can help me! You always say that start working on the report after going through all of the related readings. Roland Barthes? Hyperreal? What is the use? If you get a worse grade finally, will the HR ask you about the reason of low GPA? Wake up plz! Plz don’t sleep in your academic world anymore! [posted on 29/11/2017, 6 reactions, no comment]

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1578997725476805

#BU10405 RE #BU10352, #BU10366 Keep secret if you want to quarrel each other. No one wants to know that what do you arguing. By the way, it is really hard to like studying. Although you study hard, you may not get the high marks. [posted on 2/12/2017, 2 reactions, no comment]

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1582134505163127

#BU10414

Birds of different feathers do not flock together. You may choose to find a new partner. You are an university student and no one can force you to do anything you don’t want.

I just don’t understand that you may choose to play hard or work hard in this four year in university. However, it seems that it is the hardest choice when you choose to study hard.

If we follow the study plan, we should take five to six course for every semester. Otherwise, we may need to defer. Under my calculation, we need to spend around two hours on reading the materials or doing revision for each course. It takes around ten to twelve hours a week. It is fine at the beginning  of the semester.

On the other hand, our schedule maybe affected by the deadlines of assignments and presentations, which may affect our GPA, during the semester. It is difficult to finish reading all materials if we do our assignments just for aiming a good grade. I think the most meaningful part is the reading materials when we are doing presentation, especially for the humanities students as me. So, I hope we can start doing our presentation after we finish all the reading and gain from the process.

We better be prepared that we may not having a high income job as we are studying Humanities. Why don’t you study business if you want a high income job in the future? I don’t understand that why you are so concern on the GPA instead of gaining knowledge from the university life. Your academic levels should not be valued by the GPA! GPA just represents the grading from the universities or even the society but you should not be valued by grading! If we are not friends, I will not spend so much time typing those words for you!.

It seems that studying in Hong Kong universities is a anti-intellectual matter. They propose that you should be familiar with the topic which taught for three to four months. In fact, we need to clear our mind for the new semester when we just finish the courses last semester. I am sure that we are not as  familiar with our major as expected when we graduate.

It seems that the universities in Hong Kong want to torture with the tight study plan. I think I should aim for knowledge instead of grading or even a piece of diploma in this four years. Otherwise, why do I need to study in university?

Sorry for confusing" [posted on 2/12/2017, 60 reactions, 1 comment]

Comment

學生 hksecret This is university (SO SAD

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1582136228496288

#BU10452 We are three CPW students. In light of the assignment of WRIT 3007 Writing for New Media, we chose to start a writing project on HKBU Secret. We posted #BU10339, #BU10352, #BU10405, #BU10366 and #BU10414 on the platform. It is about two guys argue because of someone absent in the group project, and complain the system of the university. We hope to achieve these influences: 1, Discuss the problem of free-riders in group project. Moreover, we hope that we can stimulate people to reflect about the system of the university; 2, After people seeing this statement, we hope that they can review the anonymity of Secret and the effects due to this anonymity. Sorry for any inconvenience which was caused by this project. We are welcome to receive comments on this post if there is any question. [posted on 8/12/2017]

Link: https://www.facebook.com/HkbuSecrets/posts/1587233544653223

Technical efforts

In Facebook, there is a lot of “Secret Page” that provide a platform to different people submit their secret to share to others that make them find resonation with somebody. Most of the secret page managed by someone called “Admin” belong to the community that the page declare to. These “Admin” only have the power to decide post the secret or not. In general, most of the secret would be posted only in the case that the secret attack some people with opening their real name, including pornography and violence, and not related to the community. Moreover, apart from the contributor, others comment, share and like the post must through their real account that means they need to express their opinion with their real identity.

Our group find these kinds of secret page have two features. First, anonymity. People cannot be aware of the identity of the contributor. Second, interaction. In these secret pages, other user in Facebook can through “Like” and “Comment” to response the post. For instance, people in real can give “sad” to the post to express they are feeling lost. The features of Facebook help our group grain the response quickly and make our script seems real enough.

Therefore, we submit the secret to “HKBU Secret”, a secret page served students studying in HKBU, create a story about two friends arguing for the problem of assignment. We submit it day by day, after the former secret have posted, we write down the secret was responses to the former one and submit it. After five post, we create a story, which is challenging the purpose of doing assignment and authenticity on Facebook.

Aesthetic influences

The art piece is influenced from “Excellence & Perfection” created by Amalia Ulman on instagram. From April 20 to September 19 in 2014, Ulman performed a brand new artwork within photo and social media, entitled “Excellence & Perfection”. She uploaded an images were made up of “Part I”, in black lettering on white background, and writed down the caption that read “Excellence & Perfection”. After that, the photographs were posted to Ulman’s Instagram account over a period of six months giving followers of the account a heavily engineered insight into her supposed life. In the project, Ulman take on the characters of ‘cute girl’, ‘sugar baby’ and ‘life goddess’, simulating behaving a female on social media.

In the first place, Ulman play the role of an artsy, provincial girl who has moved to Los Angeles, a big city, for the first time. The girl who want to be a model posted the photographs decipt clichés of aspirational living, such as healthy breakfast, yoga, encouraging quotes, visits to the spa, and shopping sprees on instagram. Using middlebrow props looks feminine, hashtags that girl commonly uses, and filters full of pink and white, the Instagram feed became ubiquitous documentation of someone striving for a perfect life. Ulman successfully played the part of a normal, pure and cute girl on the internet. Our group are inspired by this, it bring us a new idea on doing art on internet, make a good use of social media. Therefore, we refer to her idea, make the “secret art piece”.

Conceptual ideas

We have two main idea in doing this art piece, assignment system and authenticity.

Firstly, our upper levels motives is discussing the purpose on doing assignment in university. Usually, all of university students need to doing group project with others, whether they want to or not. And that system derive different problems. The most commend one is “free-rider”, person who put very few effort on the group project. Free-rider not even create an unfair situation to other students who is willing to attain perfection, lose the original purpose on doing group project, complement and inspired each other. The other is "learning pursuit”. Someone want to pursuit the knowledge on doing assignment, but a majority of people are focusing on grading. One of the purpose of doing group project is enhancing the co-operating skill, however, that should not be the main purpose on doing assignment. We think that co-operating oriented assignment limited the developed of students on their learning area. For example, in our story, there is two type of people, one is mainly focus on understanding the theory and the other one is mainly focus on getting a good grade. The group project create the conflict between them, and that cannot help them improve themselves. That is putting the cart before the horse, people cannot learning deeply in their area but need to learn cooperate with others.

Finally, we hope to discuss the authenticity in secret page in Facebook. In this secret page, people can submit any post that is not convenient to talk with their own identity. It seems similar to the forum which also provide the authenticity to users. Originally, the purpose of secret page is building up the sense of belonging to the community members, but that would be mislead when the page would not opened the identity of contributors. Users in this kind of page can easily create the public opinion and lead them with a fake story. In our project, the first post until 7/12/2017 have 104 like and 16 comments on it, it is a quite big number on a page only have 24,976 like and not buy advertising on facebook. That bring us a question about authenticity on social media. Anonymity let the users does not need to take the responsibility on posting any words. That is a danger for the people cannot find out the reality on the community. On surface, it seems bring more real to the community, the members are more willing to share their own secret about the community to the public, but in fact, fake news and slander are more liable spreaded out.

Bio notes

This is an assignment for the course, WRIT 3007: Writing for New Media, in Hong Kong Baptist University. This project was created by Tony, Oscar and Henry. All of us are the students of the Creative and Professional Writing. We tried to use a more creative way through new media to write and discuss some important issue.

[medeazoe-blog]

My cray-fam

When you think of your family, what is the 1st thing that comes to mind?

Reliable? Nurturing? Nice? Warm?

Well, not for me. My family is a little….crazy. Now you probably think that “Ugh same” if you are my age, because normal parents just aren’t a thing like eyebrows in 2017.It’s cool to start a conversation with “OMG my parents are the worst” and then get “Same” from your opponent.

My parents aren’t crazy in a bad way, at least that’s what they thought me. My parents are just….different? But in a good way right, because I’m still not a psychopath, soo that’s cool. Just in brief, my mom has a wedding salon and is a wedding planner, my dad is a software engineer, and I have a younger brother. Oh and there is my cat and me.

My mom on one side is pretty cool, she knows about the best ways to put on makeup, but only in theory and is terrified of dentists and dotting tools which are used in nail art.

My dad is a 6’5” man, who thinks that as a 17 year old girl, you should start your own company. He loves arguing with me, and not kidding, challenge accepted.

My brother is the complete opposite of me. He is now 16 and is a gamer. He could talk hours and hours about high resolutions and is a pro at league of legends. He also loves to make videos and edit them, even if it is way too late.

My cat is…well hungry most of the time. I don’t really know about his carrier dreams but he is chill.

My name is Medea but people just call me Meddi because its way easier and my second name isn’t something I really like. Im 17 year old as you could have guessed, and am studying media in Malta. Yeah laugh about the Medea goes to Media, it’s a used joke but it does a pretty good job at breaking the ice. So I still don’t know what I want to do after school but I have plenty of time, right?

Wrong.

When you are 14 you are expected to know at least where you want to work or which carrier you are interested in.Then I said, that I wanted to be a journalist.I want to tell people what happens in the world and make a difference.Since then I grew,as a person as well as mentally.I learned that as well as on the internet, people love the change truths or clickbaits more than reality.They need something to brighten up their day, to make them laugh out all the tiredness after a long monotone day at work.They don’t want to read about something which is not that colorful as they imagine. For instance lets just imagine that the world is grey.You see gray every day over and over, at work or at home.Then you turn on your computer, you see two pictures with two captions.One of them is gray with some white and black on it, the caption isn’t catchy enough, nor is the photo.Next to it, there is a colorful picture with a pun fused phrase.Which one would you choose? Im just saying that, its ok.Normal people want to be different because they are not them, and weird people want to be normal, because we always want to be something we cant be. Curly haired people want straight hair,short guys want to be tall and vice versa.Society thought us that you should always be different. Now eyebrows are a thing, so go out and buy more make up. If you have a skinny waist and bigger hips, well, too bad, high waist jeans are the new cool.Your eyes are big but you should try fake lashes because the internet said so.If you don’t, you will be that girl/guy in school who everyone will talk about.You wear too much makeup, I’ll take you swimming on the first date.No makeup means no effort, who would think you are cute if you don’t spend any time perfecting yourself?

Anyway, back to the point,My family is weird the best way.My mom is a parfume maniac who can tell which perfume you are or were wearing, my dad is a maximalist, my brother is a slob and I’m talking way too much.To be continued...

[entirely-erika]

Y’all…Charleston did not disappoint. It tried to, by raining almost EVERY DAY we were there, but little did she know we can make and rainy day a sunny one! The drive from Georgia {Athens area} was a breeze. We left around 6:00 am and arrived around 10:30, pretty good time!

One tip, if you are coming from our area, bring toll money! Luckily, Steven is always prepared so we were good. The tolls are between  $1.50-$1.75 EACH! We were stopped by two toll roads. Make sure to check your route or have change on hand when you make the drive! There is nothing worse than having to turn around to find cash!

Once we arrived, we could not check into our condo until 3:30 so we had to dillie-dallie around Charleston. Torture, right? Ha! We decided to scope out the French Quarter by car and scratch off one of our restaurants off our list.

In this first installment, I will give you the ins and outs of where to we chose to eat and the outcomes. Remember these are all my husband and my opinions, given to you without any compensation or reimbursements from the restaurants.

In my previous post, where we planned what we would be doing, I told you, my husband, was at an obsessive point of using Yelp. You can check that post out {HERE}. Along with Yelp, we also checked to see if there were any restaurants in Charleston that were visited by Guy Fieri…boy were there, check those out {HERE}!

We always find it fun to see if this guy knows what he is talking about when we travel. Our fist stop and only restaurant on his list was delicious! Guy got it right this time!

Early Bird Diner

This was one of Guy’s picks and I am glad we decided to stop here on the way in! As you can see from the picture, there isn’t much to this place. Real talk, one thing I was not fond of when pulling up was finding a parking spot.

There are minimal “normal” spots and you MAY have to dig deep and remember how to use those parallel parking skills. They also have a very narrow area to pass through in the back to get to the other side of the parking area, I drive a 4-Runner and there were some close calls coming around the building due to others parking all willie-nillie.

But, don’t get me wrong, we didn’t have to look for over 5 minutes, I was just impatient and wanted to eat after our 4-hour car ride.

Upon pulling up, the sign made me laugh and sing {this song} in my head. I jumped out and took this picture…please pause to look at the gorgeous sky in the background. That sight didn’t last long. :[

It took a good 30 minutes to be seated. There were a few larger parties who were already seated {and wouldn’t leave even though they were done eating…instead decided to yell and laugh in this semi-tiny restaurant} and we were hangrily patiently waiting while giving the place a look over.

When waiting, patiently, I loved how many different characters were also waiting. There were businessmen; moms with their babies; teens with blue hair and tattoos; older couples drinking gallons of coffee; and many more varieties all there for delicious foods.

Entertainment area: kids books, coloring books, crayons, and toys. They also have adult literature for that possibly long wait…but only about 3 chairs to sit while you wait. This and the bathroom {YES, I SAID ONE BATHROOM} are points needing to be addressed…but that has nothing to do with the deliciousness that was on our plates.

They proudly hung their Guy Fieri sign {above the kitchen door}, as they should, signifying that they were indeed visited by this frosty haired food connoisseur. As you can see, this place loves to stick a sticker on something and promote local artists. Loving the arts myself, I found this to be an awesome and eclectic, way to decorate this space.

The art on the walls were from many mediums. The most predominant were graphic/comic style prints, followed secondly by good ol’ acrylic on canvas.

This place has some interesting hours. Make note!

Since we got there at 10:45, we were kind of at the turnover time from breakfast to lunch. Steven decided to get the meatloaf sandwich with a side of sausage. We started this trip pretty strong with our Ketogenic ways, skipping the bread on this one. As you will see when this post gets going, we slowly lost our Keto way and planned to start fresh when we returned home.

I got the blackened chicken sandwich with collard greens. This came with bacon, avocado, and chipotle mayo.

Check out Early Bird Diner’s social medias and other’s reviews:

Early Bird Diner Website

Facebook

Trip Advisor

Yelp!

Blossom

This was Steven’s favorite restaurant, hands down. I enjoyed this restaurant as well, but I was still in the Keto mindset. I feel that when we travel back to Charleston, there are a few other things on the menu I will try.

The overall feel is very laid back but with a sophisticated feel. When you first walk in, you are greeted by a host who can find your reservations {which are highly recommended during peak hours} or seat you at their beautifully designed restaurant.

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Once we sat down, these pretty little flowers greeted us. I love that they matched my newly-dyed hair, ha! Another added touch was with the menus and the black acrylic backer they were attached to, keeping it classy! The architecture was also superb!

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We started off with the “Holy City Sampler” appetizer. This AWESOME dish consisted of pimiento cheese, boiled peanut hummus, flatbread to scoop them up with. It also came with deviled eggs and pickled okra {yum!}. I believe the stars on this plate were the okra and the pimento cheese. I would totally get this dish again.

I decided to stay on the Keto wagon and got the grilled chicken caesar salad with possibly the best dressing I have ever had! I did not eat the croutons, but they were interesting…they were baby cornbread cubes!

Steven is more of a seafood lover than I and got the grilled sea scallops, accompanied by wild caught shrimp in creamy white grits with mushrooms, spinach, lobster butter. This was his favorite meal of the entire trip, it was a little pricey but we will return!

Check Blossom’s social media and other’s reviews:

Blossom Website

Facebook

Trip Advisor

Yelp!

Page’s Okra Grill

This was my favorite restaurant but, like most of the places, we ate it was not in walking distance from our condo. We had to take a quick drive across the Ravenel Bridge…please note the overcast sky.

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Once we arrived at Page’s Okra Grill, it began to sprinkle and thankfully they have a great covered porch to wait and eat, when the weather is better. They also had a fun adirondack chair for a photo opportunity, there were a ton of people jumping off and on so I could only snap this quick photo.

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Once we sat down, we were greeted by an awesome waiter, Alban! He was very attentive and knew his stuff about the menu. After he took our order, he spun around, made a joke {one of many} and sped off to put our order in. While we were waiting, we noticed the music and how awesome it was as well. They played Jimmy Eat World, Semisonic, Nine Days, and some other 90’s and 00’s alternative rock bands. We were constantly singing and tapping our feet. While the atmosphere was great, the food was even better.

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The menus here in Charleston always need extra flair. That was no different, even though this restaurant was not as “fancy” as Blossom, they added a nice touch to the ambiance. Okay, on to the part you really care about…the food described clockwise.

Steven couldn’t resist the shrimp, crab and bacon chowder with the toasted cracker. After this appetizer, he decided to trick his body and up his carb intake and indulge in the chicken and waffles with delicious honey butter. I have to admit that had a nibble. I am not sure if it is because I have not had sweets in a month or so, but this was one of the best waffles I have ever eaten.

Next, I built my own burger. Now, with the Keto lifestyle, I have eaten a ton of burgers and I can say this was the best burger I have ever eaten. Their menu states their burgers are “a blend of ground chuck, brisket & rib-eye steak, ground fresh daily in-house & cooked to order”. I added all the Keto-friendly toppings they had to offer: pepper jack cheese, bacon, grilled mushrooms, jalapenos, and avocado. I was in Keto paradise!

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Fleet Landing

Y’all…we literally walked through the storm to eat at this place. In that walk, we came to the conclusion that when you visit on a rainy day/week, you need to pack a small umbrella. The sidewalks of Charleston are extremely narrow and when you have tons of people trying to pass each other, it is like a game of chicken. We were bobbing and weaving to get around people and jumping in and out of puddles.

Once we arrived, pretty soaked, we had about a 20-minute wait and took in the views.

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As you could tell from the picture, Fleet Landing is right on the water so we were able to see all of the wildlife and the ships passing by. I also love that the inside is nautical and their use of space, because it is on the smaller side, is great.

The photo below shows exactly what our view was like…cloudy but gorgeous! We were on the outside of the restaurant and they were prepared to pull down a shade to keep the rain out.

Keeping all things real, I didn’t really see much on the menu I wanted…other than appetizers. That is not saying you won’t like the menu, that is your call. Steven had his fill of seafood by this time and nothing really jumped out at me…other than these apps.

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Once again, the best way to describe the delicious foods is clockwise. The first, and most delicious in my opinion, were the seared blackened shrimp with pimento cheese grits and sweet creamed corn. The shrimp were HUGE and delicious. These grits too y’all were the bomb.com and I will have them again, ha!

Next, I had a simple Fleet Landing’s house salad, but whoa, that creamy pepper parmesan though! One of the best dressings {along with the Blossom’s caesar} I have ever had. Those cheese stick looking things in the top right aren’t what you would expect them to be.

These are actually crispy “steak” calamari sticks with an apricot glaze and spicy red pepper remoulade. Oh, my squid…it didn’t even taste like squid. I highly recommend these if you love calamari or even if you are toying with the idea of trying it. You can tell from the photo that they give you a hefty portion too, we couldn’t even finish them!

Lastly, Steven ordered the pan-fried Carolina lump crab cake with pickled corn relish, red pepper sauce, and crispy fried onions. I have never seen a crabcake with so much crab. I am not a huge eater of crab, but I did take a bite to say I tried it. Steven ate it quickly, so I am assuming it was delicious, ha!

Overall, I am not sure if I would return when we travel back to Charleston. It may have also been that this was not one of the first places we visited so I was not wanting what I could have eaten at the other places.

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Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit

This is possibly the smallest restaurant I have ever been inside but whoa, big taste. You might me saying to yourself, “Aren’t all biscuits the same?”. Um, no.

When we were walking down King Street {tons of pictures below} we walked right past this little shop. I wish they had an actual sign that sticks out from the building to alert people looking for this gem.

When you first walk in, you might be sticking out the door or becoming best friends with the person in front and behind you. It was packed like sardines y’all! They are smart and made all things white to help make the room feel larger.

Once we looked over the menu, we decided to eat brunch here to fuel our walk all over the city. Buh bye staying under 20g of carbs…we needed fuel.

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While waiting, I took a ton of photos and Steven sipped on his many liquids. I have to warn you the wait was pretty long, but it was well worth it!

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Okay, so the left picture shows what we really went to get…sausage, egg, and pimento cheese biscuit. They were absolutely delicious. If you know me, you know I love a good Golden Pantry biscuit and that is what this made me think of. All of their ingredients are fresh and made to order, that is why it takes a good minute to get these “hot little biscuits”.

The little biscuits to the right were a little sampler to taste some of the other flavors. We decided upon the black pepper bacon filled biscuit, plain and cinnamon filled {this was my personal fave}.

One of the best things is that these little biscuits are also available in Atlanta…closer to me than Charleston. One hour and 15 minutes from my house to be exact! That is a lot better than 4 hours!

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Hominy Grill

This was not a restaurant that was on our original list, but we threw Keto to the wind by this time and were resetting our bodies. We decided to splurge a little and hit this place on the way out of Charleston.

The parking situation was limited, on a Friday at 11am…that shows you how popular it is. Thankfully, we are not a large party so we were sat fairly quickly…this place was packed!

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I absolutely love the decor, simple and clean. They had flowers on the table were great, a running theme here in Charleston. The building {shown in the top left } is only on the lower floor, the second and third floor are apartments.One flaw was that there was no guest wifi, most places had this. While it wouldn’t make me not ever go back, it would have made it easier for me to take more IG storied and pretty much give them free advertisements!

One flaw was no guest wifi, most restaurants in the area had this. While it wouldn’t prevent me from going back, it would have made it easier for me to take more IG storied and pretty much give them free advertisements!

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Look at all of these people! This was about 1/3 of the people in the entire restaurant, we were packed like sardines!

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I’ve said it before and I will say it again…I keep it real, with my views here at entirelyerika. While I love the aesthetics; the waitstaff was wonderful; the food tasted great… the portions were smaller for the huge price. Can we also talk about how this place was NOT in the immediate downtown Charleston area? You couldn’t walk there like some of the other places with comparable pricing. That should account for slightly lesser pricing…just my opinion.

To give you an example, I ordered the shrimp and grits with sautéed shrimp, scallions, mushrooms & bacon over cheese grits on a plate larger than a tea saucer, but smaller than a regulation dinner plate for $17. Steven ordered the “Charleston Nasty Biscuit” with fried chicken breast, cheddar cheese & sausage gravy for $13.

Now, $30 for two people in Charleston is not terrible, but this biscuit size was comparable to the ones we ate at Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit {CHLB}. Keeping all things real, the biscuit we ate at CHLB were better.

Both tasted great, but I think I can honestly say when we travel back to Charleston, this will not be on our list. Check out what others have said below.

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I hope these recommendations help you plan as you travel to Charleston and eat your way around the city!

Do you have a favorite place to eat? Have you eaten at these places?

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CHECK OUT PART TWO: WHAT TO SEE COMING SOON!

  Charleston, South Carolina Travel Guide Part One: Where to eat Y'all...Charleston did not disappoint. It tried to, by raining almost EVERY DAY we were there, but little did she know we can make and rainy day a sunny one!