#not committing any crimes
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NEW intro post
So, tumblr deleted my old into post because they said i was doing illegal behavior, specifically "human trafficking or illegal prostitution". As someone who has never in her life been involved with or in any way promoted such things, i'd say they're wrong, but in the e-mail they sent me they seemed pretty damn sure of it. Anyway, i can't seem to find a good way of reporting their erroneous deletion of my introduction, so hopefully i did it right.
The intro part: My name is Lavender, i use she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, and it/it/its. I enjoy not being imprisoned for crimes, so generally i don't commit them. Despite everything, i do enjoy being able to use this website and my account which has a lot of good stuff, so i might go back and prune the things that have potential to be construed as in any way illegal. I am interested in so, so many things. One of these things is not being falsely accused of committing crimes. Another is biomedical engineering. I'm a trans chaos demon who also happens to be a girl. I would probably write other things but i'm tired and i have things to do. Things like not committing crimes. That is something i do all day every day, not committing crimes. "I do not [commit crimes], that is my least favorite thing to do".
#intro post#very salty against tumblr#fuck you tumblr#you know what you did#if this account is terminated so help me god#i'll find the either the user who falsely reported me or the employee who did the deleting and give them a very stern talking to#Not committing any crimes#just giving a good lecture as to why they are wrong and a long list of ways that it has harmed me#no illegal things here in the slightest
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I just found out my cousin that I consider my sister was sa’d by her ex bf a bunch and he was just an all around prick to her. I’m a very weak teenager and I don’t own anything that I can use to bash his skull in (yet), but I just found a box of expired instant mashed potatoes in my pantry, and it’s about to rain. So I’m gonna sprinkle it all in his yard. Joy to the world indeed.
#i love my cousin#potatoes#petty#i’m gonna kill him#that’s a joke#i swear#should i?#perchance#protect your family#protect your friends#revenge#not committing any crimes#yet#computer is it illegal to beat the snot out of a minor as a minor#computer do you hear me#taking care of SAers#one at a time#revenge era
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#you're gonna look at her and tell me you wouldn't commit any number of magical crimes for her???#her eyes were already so gorgeous... but now with those pupils??#dungeon meshi#falin touden#gif#gifset
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Cop dad, criminal son, Stilinski coded. Like I love stiles but that man is not being a cop. He’s far too obsessed and cares to little about the law.
And to everyone thinking that sheriff Stilinski would be disappointed?? NOO, y’all have it sooo wrong.
That man loves his criminal son. THATS his wife’s son. Do you understand, that’s all Claudia. And yes I understand that the sheriff would also commit unspeakable crimes to protect his son, that criminality comes from Claudia. Stilinski’s protect their own. He doesn’t love stiles in spite of his behaviours but because of them.
Some random person: Stiles broke into the station again
Sheriff, Literally bursting with pride: I know, he’s just so smart, he was probably just bored and wanted something to do
Like everyone is side eyeing them because stiles commits crimes for enrichment and the sheriff is just like “tell me everything about how you got away with it”
I could go on about how Claudia haunts the narrative after years of being dead and everything but that’s for another post
#sterek#stiles stilinski#sheriff stilinski#Sheriff Stilinski loves his son beyond any measurement#he knows his son is super smart and it’s not his fault that committing crime is the only way for him to use his brain#stiles would never let this effect his dad#claudia stilinski#Stilinski’s clan put their loved ones above everyone else
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would love to know why the cops keep releasing photos and information about the uhc shooter, because what we've learned:
attractive
smart
rich — but a class traitor
no criminal history
by all accounts a good person
killed the one person he intended to kill and no one else
grievance that's both personal (his botched back surgery + family member illness) and ideological (fuck the healthcare industry)
politics are a weird mix of both right and left, so republicans can't call him a crazy liberal
concise, well-articulated manifesto
seemingly got caught on purpose, or at the very least was not caught by actual police work, and furthermore insulted the police
like? how are these things supposed to make me feel less sympathetic towards the guy?
#luigi mangione#obligatory obvious disclaimer that i'm not advocating for any random joe to go assassinate someone in the streets#or that this one shooting will magically overhaul the healthcare industry or whatever#but i would much rather someone commit a crime this way than. you know. ak-47 their way into an elementary school
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i love the trope in tf2 fanfics where the mercs get banned for life in every single establishment they enter
#mostly solly and demo but you can't convince me the other's don't get into any insane shenanigans#either by complete accident or a line of events which leaves them no other choice but to commit crimes#tf2#team fortress two#team fortress 2#tf2 meme#tf2 memes#tf2 engineer#tf2 soldier
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basically a part 2 to this post - now they get to have a sleepover in the tunnels!
#the magnus archives#tma fanart#the magnus archive fanart#tma#jonathan sims#sasha james#martin blackwood#tim stoker#tma jon#tma sasha#tma martin#tma tim#PLEASE ignore the hands#i just wanted to get this done#they’re my cuties and they’ve never committed any major crimes ever#bound family#jmart
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your honour, he is just my lil winged pookie
#look at him how can he commit any crimes#*proceed to watch him commit every crime possible*#my lil pookie fr#honkai star rail sunday#hsr sunday#sunday hsr#honkai fanart#hsr fanart#penacony#honkai star rail
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VERY old and uncooked au I have where Viktor (and eventually jayce) end up working for Silco.
(Edited on December 17th, 2024. Added Sky to the plot, edited the way the heist happens, explained a bit more about The Herald, generally added some other details)
PART 1 - VIKTOR (childhood, adolescence, survival)
Singed actually takes the child in. Yeah I know Viktor technically HAS parents but we've never seen em in the show so I'm ignoring them
So Viktor now lives + works for singed. He gets over his morals real quick when faced with a fully equipped laboratory. He's a child, okay? He gets excited and is eventually groomed (I don't mean romantically, just like molded) by singed into agreeing + obeying all the things the older man tells him. Silco joins in on the part later and toys with his brain as best as he can
Singed uses him as a bargaining chip with Silco. An investment, if you will.
A bit of a "future promise" thing. Viktor actually agrees to this because he knows it's the best shot he's got. All the years living alongside Singed have made him into a more cynical/realistic person. He's 13 and already grumbles at "kids these days"
And Silco is an opportunistic man. He looks at this young, blooming genius and goes "yeah, why not? He is your problem, though. Have some money and make me a bomb"
Viktor also gets a pretty decent gun and shooting lessons. His aim is decent enough. He also hangs around sevika A LOT. He recognizes her as the strongest, safest individual if a fight breaks out and tells her ad much. She won't admit it but the praise feels good. She allows him to hover around and he helps her with small things like lighting hee cigarettes or refilling her flask. It's a symbiotic relationship where they both look at each other dead in the eye when someone is saying stupid shit.
So Viktor is like 15 and suddenly faced with even MORE power and recognition, even MORE fundings and accomodations.
This boy pours his life and time into making weapons. His dreams of being a scientist are slowly forgotten as both Singed and Silco effectively turn him into their perfect little genius.
They turn his desire to help against himself, telling him that the only way the under city will ever get better is if they go against piltover and win (which yeah I mean it kinda makes sense) and just general promises and such
Silco is genuinely surprised by how inventive the kid can be, and in return Viktor appreciates the man's offers and words for what it is: a trap he's wilfully walking in.
Silco does NOT feel any affection for the kid. At least not a lot more than he does for sevika or any other loyal worker. He is amused by his intelligence and somewhat entertained by his ideas. He seems Viktor as more of a small dog he's raising, expecting him to develop sharper and sharper fangs. He does care for Viktor in the "one of my youngest workers is more efficient and savvy than five of yours" way
Viktor doesn't feel any affection for Silco, either. He's a really down-to-earth kid, has lived in the fissures all his life and has been coached by singed into how to navigate the under city. He knows singed doesn't really trust the man and doesn't plan on doing so himself. He does love the opportunity he's given, but knows damn well that it's all done for a higher reason.
He does feel a connection with singed, though. It's mutual in a way. More of a mentor-mentee thing than any paternal/familiar relationship, but they're both satisfied with it. Singed respects Viktor and treats him as an equal, which also means he can a bit too harsh on what is essentially still a fragile teen.
They are protective of Viktor only in the way one is protective of their own gun
PART 2 - VIKTOR (last of his teen years, young adulthood, rage)
EVENTUALLY Viktor manages to worm his way into the academy (in the same way he did in canon) while hiding from Silco, Singed and Sevika, and is, instead, rejected. Heimerdinger is too weary of Viktor and his general attitude (for a good reason) and plans on having him interrogated. When he tries to get Viktor to walk alone into a room with him, Viktor panics and starts stuttering out explanations. He knows his position in the under city is conditional. Knows the leash that Silco has around him. The academy could be his safe haven and now he's losing it.
He's also fake-dating Sky while this goes on. Except she's fully convinced they're gonna get married and Viktor is a Homosexual™
Heimerdinger does his best to try and calm him down, however, every word he says makes the situation worse. He's so clearly out of touch, promising things that could never be done.
Viktor is under a lot of pressure and just starts spiraling. Everything the yordle says makes things worse and worse. The commotion calls the school guards attention and Viktor gets almost thrown in jail, all while heimerdinger tries to tell the guards to let him go. Viktor eventually manages to sneak out but fucks his leg up even more in the process.
Sky tries to help, they have a horrible fight and essentially roast each other until they're both kinda crying. Sky cries the most.
He returns "home" and, refusing to be taken back for such a thing, turns his sadness into bright, burning indignation. Silco might be an idiot, he realizes, but he's right about some things. He burns down the uniform after ripping it into shreds.
After all of this, he abandons any dream of ever getting out. Singed looks at him knowingly, tells him that sneaking around is a fine art he hasn't mastered yet, and leaves. Silco welcomes him back with a satisfied smile, and a "see, boy? I was right"
Silco isn't killing Viktor for his betrayal because he smells the heartbreak and KNOWS that this is the time to attack if he wants that boy to be on his side for the rest of his life. Sevika isn't even mad. Just kinda disappointed.
And it WORKS. Viktor is devastated and isolated, and Silco effectively positions himself as the only current logical option. Viktor knows that this is all a shit show but decides that there's nothing to lose by working for the biggest kingpin in the city
This is what begins his transformation as The Machine Herald, or "Herald" for short. His leg is Fucked Up and Singed goes "hey how about I do an unsupervised surgery on you" and Viktor just kinda goes "yeah well why not". He wakes up with more wires than veins in that leg but it hurts a lot less so. Can't win them all can we?
Years go by, Viktor becomes part of silco's inner gang, since Silco is finally sure that this boy has nowhere to run, no one to ask for help. He develops what could be seen as a friendship with sevika. They drink together every so often, trash-talking the rest of the henchmen in hushed whispers in between assignments. She tries to give him life advice in cryptic ways. He kinda gets it. Most of the time.
He makes up with sky and become Best Friends™. In a way. When they're not trying to get each other to come back to Zaun/Piltover
He keeps sky a secret from them all in fear of... Well, of whatever the fuck they could try and do to her if they got mad at him.
He's also a bit of a slut. I mean he's young, hot, kinda part of Zaun's elite, smart... yeah he's getting around. This part is important I swear. No it's not I just want Viktor to get it on. He's constantly sneaking pretty boys in and out of wherever he's staying at that week which is why no one really questions Jayce (see, it was important) the first few days he's in his house after The Trial (idk where the fuck sevika sleeps. Do silco's henchmen just sleep in his house??? Does he provide apartments?? I need to know)
People in the under city actually start talking to Viktor as he gets older, realizing that he's a bit less violent than the rest of silco's thugs and they have a 50/50 shot that he will actually help them in their pleas. This is always weird to him but he endures it for the sake of staying on top of what's being said in the city. And he's also generally a kind soul deep down
He buys from benzo frequently, and Benzo tolerates him because once, very slowly and in a hushes tone, he heard Viktor tell Ekko to never work for anyone with a shark aquarium.
Viktor is quite fond of Ekko. If Silco didn't basically own his soul, he would definitely take the kid in. Which is why he eventually becomes the biggest timebomb advocate.
PART THREE - MEETING JAYCE.
He's in Benzo's shop when he meets jayce.
He goes "yeah I could get him to suck me off probably" and tries to approach
And then jayce pays in GOLD and DOESN'T HAGGLE
And he realizes that this idiot is a piltie. He also realizes that whatever the fuck he just bought and the whole projects he's talking about could be useful for him and silco will not like it if a PILTIE out of everyone outsmarts him in weapon creation. He literally gets in between him and the door with absolutely no idea of what he's going to do (there is absolutely no way he's upping that payment sorry silco you are no match for the Kirammans)
There is no time and he defaults to "oh this is not my bedroom!" mode.
Cue him saying something like "I've never seen such a pretty face in this store. Are you from around here, darling?"
Ekko is gagging in the background.
They flirt yada yada I have the scene but it's too long to write here. U get the idea. I'd anyone wants to read that ask me but for now just use your imagination
Viktor offers Jayce to come back with him to his house for "protection" because "these streets are sooo cruel for foreigners" and Ekko hypes him up. "Oh Yeah Herald here is So Strong and Everyone Respects Him" which is technically not a lie. Jayce gets overwhelmed and accepts. As this is happening the kids are staging the heist but it has not happened yet. Don't ask me about timelines idgaf
They make out a bit, Jayce tells Viktor all about his theory (which is arguably hotter for Viktor) and shows him his notes (because obviously he carries his journal with him)
Viktor is BLOWN AWAY by this. He gets all worked up. Never felt this horny before. They discuss for a while, and Viktor decides that THIS is something he can stand behind. Actual discoveries, not just drawing blueprints after blueprint of the same fucking thing
Really how many ways can one design a weapon in
Anyways
Viktor sort of mildly drugs jayce and steals three of the shiny orbs and then wakes Jayce up and tells him that this was delightful and such.
PART FOUR - Hey Silco Can We Adopt This Boy. For Science
The heist happens the very same way. Viktor hears about it, about the trial, and decides that all these years of work should get him some privileges
He goes "If you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission" and just goes to save Jayce. Originally I had him argue with Silco and Singed to allow him to do this here but yk what? This man is too impulsive to do that. He's breaking his man OUT with two bribed bodyguards and Janna on his side. Sky is 100% on board because she kinda knows Jayce and he's really nice so she doesn't want them to banish him.
Viktor breaks jayce out do NOT ask me how #thepoweroflove and Sky's blessing or whatever. The henchmen get to punch enforcers so they're happy about it.
The "am I interrupting?" Scene happens. It's also too long so.
It takes Viktor a while to convince Jayce to, yk, betray his country and leave everything he's ever known behind, but Jayce was literally about to kill himself and Viktor is talking about change and help and people who actually need it (lies) and he looks so beautiful under the moonlight and he remembered him. So. Really what can one realistically do in this situation if not agree with the criminal who's trying to save you from exile.
They rush back to Zaun, Jayce leaves a hasty suicide note and says he will drown himself in the river and not to search for him (he leaves a slight clue for him being in Zaun as an alibi in case they eventually find him and want to blame Viktor for kidnapping. Which is such a hot and clever thing that Viktor almost kisses him right there), they break into heimerdinger's room via Sky giving them the keys, steal all the equipment they can carry (henchmen & co brought some bags okay??)
When Mel arrives they're gone. She calls for the guards to come but they're waaay out of her reach and Sky is there all beaten up and crying (she agreed to it)
There might be a motorcycle involved. Cyclists Viktor... Yeah. Hot.
When they arrive, he has his very first actual screaming-match kind of fight with Silco and Singed about keeping A Piltie in their territory, but they eventually and very reluctantly give in. Also Jinx is there. So Silco isn't really that preoccupied with who lives with Viktor and more with how to make this child stop wailing.
Silco knows that even a worm will turn. If Jayce does agree to work for them and stays loyal, then they get another good worker. If not, they can always kill him. He's never heard Viktor this adamant about someone before, and damn he's seen the boy walk around with some pretty faces. Maybe this Jayce fella truly is smart.
PART FIVE - JINX AND JAYCE
When Viktor shows up he finds out that silco has adopted a child. Also Sevika doesn't have an arm. Also Vander is dead. So is, presumably, that child with the bad haircut. So is Benzo. Which is a bummer. He liked the store.
Ekko is nowhere to be found. That's a bit sad. Really sad. He sheds a few tears.
Jayce hates everything that's going on around him buts this man is SUICIDAL, basically homeless, penniless and his one and only lifeline is Viktor. Even if he stayed in Piltover no one would've been able to help. He's just kinda going with the flow. Having him gives Viktor his backbone and morals back. Slowly. Very slowly.
Hextech develops WAY slower. Like they're working in a drug den in the middle of what is basically a hastily put together lab there's absolutely no way there's the same conditions. They're doing their best though.
Jayce Is actually really impressed by shimmer and how it can "help" people. He's gaslighting himself ATP and everyone else is enabling him. No Jayce you're just creating an army of drug addicted zombies what do you mean giving power to the people.
Also eventually Silco gives Viktor a laced brace that makes him mildly addicted to shimmer. Viktor is clever enough to realize what's going on but also experienced enough to know that refusal would be seen as an offense. He takes the brace on and off with his own prototypes. Sevika and him both know they're just digging themselves into a deeper hole. With time he just goes "yeah fuck it" and starts regularly using it on his wires for the better performance of his leg. Glorious evolution or something.
Silco actually tries to kill jayce once because he was getting too fucking annoying and self-righteous, but Jinx steps in. He reminds him of claggor (in a bizarre way). She claims that they're both her friends and she loves them and silco just seethes in silence because Why did he become a father.
They help raise her. Kinda. Not co-parenting. More like co-uncling. They're both horrible influences but they aren't worse than Silco's enablement so it's just a very fucked up raising strategies cocktail.
I wrote all of this so I could successfully say that they have a tea party with her.
THEY LOVE LIL JINX OKAAAY. Specially jayce. He takes all his emptiness and sadness and anger and tries to fill it with love for her and Viktor, the only two people he feels are kind of honest to him. He tries to befriend Sevika. Doesn't really work at first.
Also Jayce being jealous of the fact that Viktor got around, specially when he has the audacity to give powder boy's advice (sevika is a STONE TOP LESBIAN you can NOT tell me anything else) right in Jayce's face. Yeah. Miscommunication. Falling in love. Devotion and guilt. Feelings of owing. Hesitant kisses and never said words. YEEES. I know it's a bit tropey but I like it so. Yeah.
Also both Jayce and Vik have long hair. Jinx insisted they let it grow like hers. Jayce's actually reaches his shoulder plates/mid back while Viktor keeps it shoulder length, just long enough to tie it. I think. Still haven't decided since long hair Jayce is too hard to mentally picture but I know he would look GOOD
Yes this also means that Jayce and Vi meet even earlier. They take a look at each other as they both try to calm down jinx and Become Best Friends™
Caitlyn always has a heart attack because YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. She, like Vi, goes "yeah silco is definitely keeping my sister/brother captive" and they're both like You Will Not Believe This.
Viktor doesn't join them in their adventures because he is Not jumping around the roofs. He uses a cane. Leave him alone jinx no he can't climb the stupid ass tower.
Jinx and Jayce become a sort of "ground control" thing. Jayce is BUFFED that man can stand his own in a fight. He's not as quick or flexible but he makes up for it in pure absolute brawn. They're not actually doing anything useful they're just entertaining Jinx every so often.
Idk guys this au is consuming my brain.
I have more ideas but this was way too long already
If u read this far u can actually ask for a small scene on the au or add an idea and I'll write it for u
#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce x viktor#arcane au#jayvik au#jinx arcane#arcane silco#silco and jinx#sevika arcane#Arcane#please don't flop#i wish my mind was this talkative in the middle of essays#DOES ANYONE SEE THE VISION#yes this is technically a corruption au ig#i have no idea how s2 would fit in here#i just want jayvik to be actual mad scientists yk. like yes I need to commit Several Crimes#I'm not in any way shape or form implying or saying that silco is a good person or wtv they're all war criminals in this au actually
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a cover of "Panic Station" by Muse, ideally suited for chases through futuristic train platforms full of loop-de-loops and hostile robots!
usually I have a really hard time doing arrangements of existing songs, but I felt unusually motivated to tackle this one and managed to see it thought to completion! (took me a while because I kept spending too much time jamming out to what I already had done instead of working on the next parts lol)
♫ made with OpenMPT! ✎ cover art by me! ► SoundCloud link: https://soundcloud.com/taffywabbit/turmoil-terminus-zone ★ original song (for comparison): https://youtu.be/vk24UKKI4yY?si=RdQkA4BAHoRX1d7P
and here's the full-size cover art, while i'm at it!
#taffy music#cover#openMPT#music#muse band#panic station#taffy art#my sona#soleil#mobian#bunny#furry art#that's a buny#i feel like this isn't the first time i've drawn her explicitly committing a crime but i can't recall any previous examples#remember kids: fare evasion isn't illegal if you can run faster than the transit cops (and also the trains)
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They’re about to go commit tax fraud
#toph beifong#katara#atla#atla fanart#I just love how they canonically scammed people#Toph’s a little crime lord yes but what about her crime lord older sister#I just imagine that on the brief occasion that they stop arguing they are impossible to be around bc#they just#absolutely roast the living daylights out of any poor victim#(or band together to commit various crimes)
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I think at least some of varrics issues would be fixed if he looked into bisexuality and thats all i have to say on the matter
#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#varric tethras#da2#dai#he wanted to fuck sebastian so bad#anyway#i think if he was bi/knew he was bi hed be wau more normal#about certain companions#aka sebastian blackwall and solas#sebastian primarily#like. in what world does it make sense#to compare sebastian (ex-whore found the light of god/j)#to blackwall (wanted man for committing war crimes??? and a fake grey warden)#its so funny like. varric. whats wrong with you#love or hate any of those men we should all agree.#varric isnt normal about any of them 💀
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Leah :]
#roii personal: sketches#roii fanart: coral island#roii character: egret xia#coral island#i am not a fashionable person idk what fashion is im sorry if i committed any crimes
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GARFIELD PANTACH as KENTA PIT BABE season 2 pilot trailer
#pit babe the series#pit babe season 2#garfield pantach#thai bl#change 2561#kentakim#tuseryoo#userkit#userjamiec#rintrack#vishingwell#im sorry idk which of my moots with tracking tags watched pb#viviedits.#free my man he did nothing wrong! (except for all the crimes he committed)#tagging this with kentakim as if there is even any chance we'll get those two in canon lol#my delusion is strong
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gideon cheerfully accepting kremy using suggestion on him left and right (and also being like '*fond smile* aaaaw yeah all the good old times :)' at the implication that kremy has essentially wielded him as a bloodied blunt instrument all these years) has some. hm. kinky implications. perhaps. also narrative/character/interpersonal ones of course but the kink factor here is unspeakable.
why are you as a man freely and gleefully offering the use of your body and occasionally autonomy to another man. why would someone who fought so hard for freedom and agency find such joy and satisfaction in willing submission. who's to say! finally actually having gay sex about this would frankly be less gay than whatever sublimated thing is going on right now
#hey man don't mind control me. unless it's for a really fun reason of course then go ham. gideon baby what is wrong with you (affectionate)#coalecroux#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#something something the difference between imprisonment and devotion (and the similarities)#I got to the 'falling in love ain't a crime' episode the other day and now I am just. thinking. feeling. having emotions nonstop#gideon has commitment issues AND he's The Most committed any man has ever been at the same time#he handles this. he handles that. I think he could stand to be handled a bit himself when he's ready for it#(kremy being 98% of gideon's impulse control is also one of the most wonderful throughlines hfksjad)
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Exchanging gifts with our future garden employees - I mean, future friends... of course.
#is it still considered free labor work if i say i'll pay them with copypasto'ed flowers? dont want to commit any crimes yk#ts4#sims 4#simblr#sims 4 gameplay#ts4 gameplay#ellie mistwalker#wizards of wackilyplace
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