#not because im particularly into any of them its just the mechanics of it that fascinate me. what does odo turn into.

[lipstickontheglass1985]

oh i am SO looking forward to exploring the deepest corners of ao3 after im done with watching

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

1.) Height comparisons? Tallest to shortest? I ways felt that Danny was tallest with Randy as the shortest, but Ben feels small too? And Rex feels giant.

2.) What would Jenny and Rex look like with Upgrade on them?If you have any concepts of them?

I love these little guys, btw they make me so happy!

1.) I actually have a height chart I never posted! I am STILL not completely locked in about them, but I've been holding onto it for a year, so I think I can post it since Ive not worked on it much. xD So while small details might vary in any future plot development, this is a rough height comparison for the HoMies:

My reasonings are that canonically (? at least according to Wikias) Jenny is at least 2 meters tall in the show. Which is a lil questionable, but I just headcanon her around that height, but it can vary depending on her transformations. In any case she is a tall Amazonian Mechanical Goddess.

Both Danny and Zak have very tall genes from both sides of their families. Jack F. is a freaking tank unit of a man, and while Maddie is probably somewhere above average height, her sister Alicia is built af, so there are some tall genes on their side of the family. Doc and Drew are both pretty tall, and Doyle too, so chances of Zak being on a taller side are very good.

Jun canonically has very long legs (which was mentioned as too long for an 11 y.o. to which I relate a lot, because I was very tall at 11 too xD) & Randy is a very noodly boy, so I feel like they will grow pretty tall. But Randy is also very slight in built which will make him seem smaller.

Ben in his alt futures is supposedly very tall, but Omniverse throws a curve with him suddenly seeming smaller at 16, so?? I kinda settled on him being kinda average male height, which can go either way when he gets older.

Rex is kinda opposite, because at 16-17 he is pretty tall, but not overly huge (considering that he is still shorter than Six but only a little taller than Holiday on heels, so he is taller than average female height), but I headcanon him having grown tall very early. So I kind of settled on another average that can go either way as years go.

And yes, he is a little taller and buffer than Ben, because when they swapped jackets in Heroes United, Ben's jacket is tighter on him and that fact is forever my favorite headcanon. xD

Jake and Kim are short monarchs! Well, compared to others, lol xD. In reality they are only a few inches/cm lower than average heights! I am a big fan of Jake being a short powerhouse (its also supported by his genetics, mainly by his grandfather Lao Shi, who is pretty short even when he was younger) in his human form, which doesn't affect his dragon form. Kim is a small lean power machine - she is small, agile and fast, for a normal human.

2.) Oh! I did have another idea I sort of toyed with (A sort of 'fusions' for HoMies for another old ask I got, but I never got around to drawing them lol sorry), but I never actually drew anything like that! This is a fun idea to doodle-

After the finale Rex has changed and I would like to think that Ben will notice! After all becoming a god temporarily would be something of an upgrade! xD And tbh I think Jenny, as a sentient machine would not particularly enjoy being Upgraded! It would feel a little bit like possession, but with a side effect of your guts being rearranged without your consent, like?? yikes

Aaaaaa, thank you!!! I'm so glad people get joy from this crossover, even if im so inconsistent with actually posting staff for it QvQ <3

[actualbird]

who in the nxx yells “THERE’S A BUG” and who removes the bug, and how?

HELP HAHAHAKHVFAHSF THIS IS A LOVELY PROMPT, THANK U FOR THIS!!!

those who yell "THERES A BUG": marius and mc

now im not saying both of them are particularly squeamish, no no, they can definitely keep it cool when the situation Calls For It. that being said, seeing a bug in the nxx meeting room on a slow day isnt exactly the most high stakes of situations, so the most High Stakes Element remains to be whatever bug they see

mc just doesnt like bugs, theyre creepy theyre crawly and she doesnt trust anything that can dart out of her line of vision in the blink of an eye

marius also doesnt like bugs and because of his upbringing, he did not get to see very many of them growing up. which means every time he Did see a Bug Intruder, it's like a Category 5 Drama Moment

the moment they see the bug, theyre announcing it LOUDLY to everybody else in the room while also getting up to stand on some chairs

those who dont yell "THERES A BUG" but does look at the bug and track its every movement while sitting still like a statue hoping the bug doesnt notice him, as if bugs operate on some kind of t-rex knowledge: artem

let's rewind a bit. before marius and mc saw the bug, artem saw it first. and he just

didnt say anything about it

artem.....Also Does Not Like Bugs. but he also also doesnt like being loud about things he doesnt like so he just Sits There, so still you'd think he fucking died, and he hopes the bug mistakes him for some kind of inanimate man-shaped furniture and avoids him due to sheer disinterest

it doesnt avoid him.

it probably crawls or flies very close to him a few times the only thing that stops him from screaming "THERES A BUG" is his self-control thats as hard as cast-iron skillet

it's fine though because marius and mc spot it and sound the alarm

(thank god)

those who remove the bug: luke and vyn

luke and vyn are the ones who will both 1) be completely unbothered by the bug and 2) have to bring it out

the reason for luke is obvious, he's had wilderness survival training and probably had to eat bugs like in an episode of Man VS Wild to survive on an uninhabited island, so hes REALLY past any squeamishness with bugs. in fact, if mc said the word, luke would grab the bug and crush it with his bare hands

and vyn is a gardener!!! bugs are APLENTY in the garden, so he sees them not as malevolent but as important creatures in a healthy ecosystem. the bug probably got in from vyn's garden, actually, since nxx hq is on his property

and thus

The Timeline Of Events When a Bug Appears In The NXX HQ Meeting Room

bug: //crawls in

artem: //sees it, soul leaves his body for a bit and he petrifies himself as a defense mechanism

mc: why did artem go so still

marius: i dont know, maybe hes rebooting?

mc: dont be mean!

marius: im not being mea---FUCK

mc: what?

marius: THERES A BUG

mc: theres a wha---THERES A BUG

marius and mc: //immediately moving to stand on the couch

artem: //still Not Moving, hoping that mc and marius' sudden movements attract it

bug: //flexes wings open and closed

mc: NNNNO NO NO NO

marius: STOP DOING THAT MOTHERFUCKER

mc: NONONNONONONNNONONNOONONOONOO

marius: AAAAAAAAAA

vyn and luke, coming back in from where they were in the file room: ???

mc: THERES A BUG THERES A BUG

luke: oh. do you want me to kill it?

mc: NO!!

marius: YES!!!!!!

artem: i havent moved in 20 minutes

mc: JUST BRING IT OUT

luke: dead or alive?

mc: ALIVE

marius: DEAD

vyn, while they were all conversing: //gently coaxes the bug onto his palm and lets it out through the window

vyn's rationale here was that luke was doing a great job at handling (i.e. distracting) the People, so he went ahead and took care of the Bug. the bug will not be returning to the nxx meeting room because it was quite cold with no soil and also VERY loud

[sidebaxolotl]

Do you know of any good resources for dealing with gender dysphoria from a side B or Y Christian angle (i.e., not affirming sin or encouraging transition?) It's not huge in my life but sometimes it comes up and I wish I had more advice for dealing with it. A lot of the stuff I find is unhelpful because it's just plainly restating the rules with how Christianity doesn't condone gender ideology with no practical advice, is in that "how to talk to your friend who has this issue" pov, or just kinda goes "lol pray about it idk". I 100% know and stand by that biological sex is biological sex and don't think it's possible to change to the opposite sex, nor do I really want to... so it's not a matter of needing to persuade me, but it doesn't change that I still have feelings of stress and of not really living up to or fitting in with womanhood. When I'm around other women it can be really difficult because I feel so profoundly different when we should be similar. TIA

Sorry this took so long, I took the time to talk to a couple of people who had dysphoria in the past and some who didn't to get some insight.

Both the people I had talked to who had it had cited porn as a major reason why they developed it in the first place so if thats not ur experience then maybe this wont be as helpful for you 😅

They did bring up a good point that assessing where you think your dysphoria comes from from a psychiatric standpoint could help you figure out how to deal with it and i was given this link:

https://oncurrentevents.substack.com/on-gender-transition-and-psychiatric-disorders

Like for example it was pointed out to me that gd presents a lot like body dysmorphia (specifically, like eating disorders and stuff) so u might be able to use whatever coping mechanisms are used for that to help. It also seems to be a prevalent phenomenon in autistic and adhd individuals so perhaps addressing those things if you have them would help.

I was also linked to this book, the friend in question had remarked that it had helped a lot of the women he knew:

https://a.co/d/6DNWdA2

The guy I talked to said therapy had helped him as well as support from God/ his family but finding non affirming therapists that have a nuanced view on things is extremely difficult, esp if you want a Christian one. Him and I were extremely lucky in that way.

The one woman i spoke to said she quit porn and sobered off gd feelings once she realized transitioning wouldnt truly make her a boy.

I did want to be a boy when i was really young but im not super sure that counts? Idk.

For me what helped was realizing a lot of what made me not want to be a girl at that time was just a reaction to stereotypical gender roles and sexism towards women. Once i started challenging those perceptions and the ways my brain was affirming them i became way more comfortable in my body.

I also had a similar realization as sibling that I'd never truly be able to be a boy if i tried to alter my body. I could wear blue and be the night in shining armor and be a hero and still be a woman, yknow?

Also a lot of it was me being very gay and not realizing it lmaooo

I can def relate to not really fitting in with women--particularly in Christian settings I'm typically the only one who isnt hyperfemme and it can be a bit alienating.

Realizing i wasn't straight kinda helped too since the lesbian perception of womanhood is a lot more fluid than its straight counterpart. Not saying to "go gay" if you aren't but maybe looking into butch and gnc communities and framing your self-perception in that way might help?

If there are any other side b dysphoric folks reading this feel free to chime in with your own tips/resources in dealing with this stuff please!!

[meetthegofer]

🦀🦅💕😑💀 (esp interested in the last one considering game mechanics)

THANK YOU TORRANCE MY GOAT.. once again since this will be a little long its going under a readmore 🔥 thank you though this is a very fun selection

🦀- How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?

fossey was absolutely the more accepting of his feelings of the two in this regard; though they were definitely pretty nervous they tended to downplay it a lot, like "welllll... people get crushes on coworkers with all the time!! plus its not like anything's gonna come of it, so its fine for me to like him.. im sure ill get over it soon" <- that. generally just didnt register that they might have a chance At All and as a result didnt really catch themself reading too much into his words/actions because "well its not like he'd like me anyways! that would be wasting my time. i have a job to do, after all".

sniper on the other hand...

for him, the realization was like being hit in the face with a brick. not because he thought fossey was particularly undesirable in any way that would make him go "i cant believe i like THEM", but rather because he was still operating under the expectation of not really getting to know them or really form any relationship/attachment past just. general coworker amiability. it honestly made him panic a bit, because he wasnt sure if this would affect his performance in battle ["if i get hung up on something like that, itll be easier for me to get distracted and hurt more easily. or worse, ill underperform" <- that sorta thing] and again, he tries to consider himself as being somewhat divorced from feelings, at least on a professional level. of course, we know this to not be true [calls his parents regularly, shows genuine care to his teammates, etc etc] but well. hes stupid. <3.

🦅- How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?

...you could not possibly have a worse ensemble of wingmen than the options laid out for these two. at the absolute least, fossey has the support of miss pauling, who reassures them about things when they feel down. however shes not really an active wingman? like she encourages fossey but doesnt ever actively try to vouch for fossey as a potential partner for sniper, mostly because fossey has asked her Not to [going back to the whole lack of perceived desirability they feel and all]. other than that, they havent really confided in their feelings to anyone else, mostly because they know theres literally no circumstance under which it would end without great humiliation.

sniper, on the other hand, tries to be discreet when asking for advice, but everyone kind of Knows who hes got his eyes set on. so when he tries to ask for help and is immediately met with a chorus of "ooooh so youre finally gonna ask out fossey?" hes like FUCK YOU and also how did you know [fake idgafer they saw you saying good morning!! when you dont do that for anyone else!!!!]. so i think he would get frustrated and then not ask for help again

that said i can definitely see a few of the mercs trying to take things into their own hands. scout makes stupid jokes to fossey about sniper ["yknow hes got a picture of ya in his camper, right?" "HE WANTS TO SHOOT ME?" "NO"], soldier probably tries giving him unsolicited advice that literally only worked because zhanna matches his freak so well, and medic breaks HIPAA in a strange way to try and bring them closer together. none of it ever works but theyre all quite content to watch the two of them very awkwardly dance around their feelings for one another and tease them about it [though mostly sniper. since fossey does a shockingly good job at hiding her side of things + they havent known her nearly as long]

💕- Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

oh this ones fun. they both kinda confessed at different times, but the first one just... didnt work? going back to this question set, after fossey apologizes/confronts sniper about his avoidance, he Does confess his feelings, but does so in a more vague way that fossey absolutely Did Not Clock as romantic. unfortunately this ended with the most brutally unintentional friendzone known to man

its not as though All hope is lost, though. like i said, there were multiple "confessions", albeit fossey's was admittedly much more thought out in terms of like. the specifics.

see, they have a really bad habit of overworking [mostly because they lose track of time very easily, and their work is so repetitive its easy to get lost in the sauce. they arent a very intentional overachiever], and a lot of sleep problems. as such, it was bound to happen that they would one day fall asleep at their desk, having worked themself to exhaustion and not really noticing it until they'd woken up...

sniper notices fossey sleeping at their desk, hours after they were supposed to leave for the day [being a bit of an insomniac himself, he would sometimes just. walk around. everyone on the team is kind of a freak it makes sense to me. you know]. so he goes and wakes them up like "hey dude you were supposed to leave hours ago" and theyre like FUCK right ill be out of here in a second. however, before they can leave, sniper remembers that fossey usually Walks home. so he offers them a ride, because the idea of them walking home alone at like 2am greatly unsettles him. they agree, and since its only a 15/20 minute walk it ends up being a very short drive, spent in an admittedly comfortable silence between the two. maybe a longing glance or two is passed without the other noticing.

and just before fossey steps out of the van to go fuck off to their apartment building, without even thinking they lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek, then step out and wave goodbye like nothing happened. [its not until theyre actively closing the door to the apartment building behind them that they realize what theyve done. and by then theyre like FUCK]

sniper is obviously speechless, because just a couple months ago he got friendzoned and he was still wrestling with the fact that his feelings were only getting stronger with time. he just kind of sits there for a second before he realizes he probably looks crazy just sitting there in a van outside an apartment complex that is primarily home to like. old ladies. and on the drive back to his usual parking space for the camper hes just like Fuuuck work is gonna be so awkward tomorrow.

and the next day they do talk it out.. fossey stops by his camper and is like Heyyy so can we um 😅 talk about last night haha... and they give a verbal confession but end it with like "im not really expecting you to feel the same way but since you basically already know i figured id tell you..." and snipers just there like It is unbelievable how much i feel the same way. i imagine the conversation itself would be quite awkard/seemingly "anticlimactic" for the start of a relationship, sort of like [incoming maine moment] shimamitsu's first little stint as a couple in skip to loafer where they just very awkwardly are like "do you... wanna try going out?" after a rather embarrassingly sudden confession. but both of them are autistic and awkward so <3 love is love <3

😑- How easily do they get jealous and how do they handle it?

fossey is admittedly not very jealous at all LOL though this mostly comes from the fact that they dont place very high value in themself. so theyre like "? if he ever found someone else he'd just go for it man i dont think it'd be worthwhile to keep me around just to cheat". they also just arent really the possessive type, since they do actually trust him quite a bit in this regard and are very much of the "if you love something let it go" mindset. however in the context where i ship sniper with the other mercs theyre very chill with it. because fossey has the fujoshi spirit 👍

if they ever Would get jealous i think they would handle it well enough on their own, though. they tried exactly one [1] time to make a joke about sniper leaving for someone else and he was MORTIFIED so they were like Damn i probably shouldnt do that again that was a little mean.

sniper i think would probably be a little bit more jealous? it doesnt come up very much, but every once in a while someone gets just a liiittle too close or looks a liiittle too long and hes like ? You could back up a little bit!

he mostly keeps it to himself since fossey isn't and has never been the type to pursue or flirt with others even in a playful context, so when he Does get jealous its usually directed at the other party. i think early on he mightve gone to fossey about it first and when they got confused [because they didnt think the other person saw them that way + were absolutely NOT trying to go for them] he realized it didnt make much sense and didnt really bring it up like that again. not much reason to blame fossey for how others feel when they arent the one Inviting those feelings, yknow? at most he might be like "damn that guy would Not leave you alone" but even then it happens quite rarely, so its not something they really have to address more than like. once or twice a year. that said i Do think he might get a little more clingy without really noticing it... hugging a little more tightly or casually throwing an arm around their shoulders a little longer than usual.

💀- If the canon character is canonically dead, how did your OC handle their death? (Or did you completely omit their death cause fuck canon?)

this one is interesting, not just because of the game mechanics but also because of his canon [albeit temporary] comic death. when considering respawn compatibility + mechanics and the nature of the game, i think fossey is desensitized enough to how much violence occurs around these guys on a daily basis that the concept of sniper being hurt in this way doesnt really faze him any more than it does miss pauling or any other merc. like he knows he'll be back. its fine. though i do think in the back of his mind he sometimes worries that one day sniper might come back and not remember/not love/not care for him anymore, although this has yet to happen, and if scout's persistence with trying to court miss pauling is any proof, it likely never will.

his comic death, however, is a different story, primarily because it left him with some pretty permanent scars. fossey freaked out so fucking bad when they found out what happened [since they werent present for it] and they just like. almost couldnt really believe it? the desensitization to his death in the context of the gravel war + respawn machine and how it functions made them less cognizant of the idea that Hey he could still die for real one day. and that realization shook them pretty badly... if they were actually present for it i think they would genuinely be inconsolable for a while. but LUCKILY hes back 👍 insert i cant help myself "all clean!" image here

[thehandwixard]

well. kingdom hearts finished. been thinking about riku so much its making me sick

so, ill probably be going back and talking about my like plot thoughts that i skipped over etc etc etc i know yall have barely heard my thoughts about the worlds and stuff and plot developments as they go, and part of that has just been... i've been so caught up in it. its gripping, it kind of took up my brain to the point where i hardly even wanted to stop playing or stop looking at it to gather my thoughts in this specific way, lord knows i was chatting my bestie's ear off.

what ill say about kh mechanically and gameplay-feel is that it is a game deeply from 2002. it is an action game that should not have been a platformer, but it was. i think the struggles with the camera, and the clunkiness of the lock-on system, and the learning curve to anything more complicated than mashing, is all worth it. the gameplay feel is really just.. clean-feeling, in battle. its got a good sense of what makes a decent boss fight, and this shows extremely in the multiple-part penultimate boss fight.

the pacing throughout the game is actually quite tight as well, at least if the worlds are taken in the intended order. its just like. i think whats getting me here is i really don't want to say too much. kh1 thrives on the journey it takes you on, and it really is captivating if you let it.

grinding isnt even really a boring experience, final mix added special heartless with minigames you can do to earn items, so theres always like. a little extra thing to do if you're not ready to move forwards.

im just always... as a person, i am always deeply charmed by games like this, and i want to give them as much room for error as possible. theres so much heart and love in this game even through the clunkiness, and you see it in the worlds, and the voice actors, and the undercurrent of... something, in the game. its really a game that only could have been made at this time, in this era.

and love not just in the disney worlds, but particularly in the unique worlds. the portrayal of them, the comittment to the beauty of this world. the uncertainty of it.

it leaves a lot to the player to experience the adventure. i think thats lovely.

ok big spoilery thing RIGHT NOW because i am obsessed with it and no one ever talks about it even though its the best part of kh1 that doesnt havr to do with any of that mushy stuff

!!!!FINAL BOSS SPOILER IMAGES!!!!!!!

THE FINAL BOSS IS A FUCKING BOAT. ITS A BOAT AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? THIS OWNS

[the-s1lly-corner]

zooble angst hcs

Zooble angst hcs!

writing this while im baking something so if its short or kind of sfknvokbv thats why! i wasnt sure if you wanted this as x reader or not since its so vague so uh.. my apolocheese

trying to befriend zooble can be... ouguh... in the first place since they kind of. dont really want to interact with other people, so things can get frustrating on your end. but i cant really blame them, since i personally think that a lot of their distance comes from a coping mechanism to keep themselves together given the circumstances (as well as in general, before getting stuck in the digital world)

i mean it would be that or getting invested and hurt, or worse abstracted

but lets say the two of you did get invested in one another, and you grow close. and something, happens to you

be it injury or abstraction, the second you're gone theyre back to where they started but.. worse.. at least before they would have some level of basic banter to the others but now they just.

get stuck in their own head, which can quickly grow into an issue in of itself

as a side thing while i think the reason theyre so. them, during the show is because of a resignation due to the current situation (being stuck) but personally, i think they were already like that before everything. i dont know, its the way they interact with others and speak in the pilot that makes me feel like they werent too bothered getting stuck in the circus

an act of simply existing whatever happens to you, because it would be too much effort to fight it

their room is *their* space, they spend the majority of their time in their room, when they're not being forced into an in house adventure. doesnt let anyone into their room, not that anyone could since there's locks

well, asides jax, since he has keys to everyones room

does not take any bullshit, the second you break their trust its over. no ifs ands or buts, its done. period. the second the friendship between you two is broken, thats it, theyll go back to just barely tolerating you

or, if you did something particularly bad, they may actually just ignore you flat out

[afterhourswjay]

Heeeey bestie...Guess who's struggling with crippling anxiety 💅💅

I was barely even able to get out of bed to take my meds 🥲

Anyways, I want to ask for some crippling anxiety comfort for (I know this sounds stupid) but a partner being scared to get off the bed because of a monster or person being under it, and Aizawa, Pro Deku, Pro Katsuki, and Mic comforting the reader. Sorry if that's too many characters 😅

Uuuugggh! Bestie, same!! I suffer from pre-bedtime anxiety and it manifests in the weirdest ways sometimes.

Befriend your Monsters

the reader is struggling with their depression and anxiety, and its beginning to affect their sleep schedule. how does their partner help them with this?? note: im simplifying katsu's hero name to Dynamight as its ridiculously long lkdfsljf

characters: aizawa, hizashi, pro!izu, pro!kats warnings: slight angst, but mostly fluff, some swearing

Aizawa Shota || Eraserhead

when it first happens, he's certainly confused. what do you mean your scared of a monster under the bed? sure, one of the cats may be under there, but not a monster

he's not about to go probing you for answers. you do you boo

if you feel like letting him in on your nighttime anxieties, then he'll ask clarifying or slightly probing questions

just enough questions to be able to help you better

do you need a distraction until you reach sleepy town?

do you need snuggles and cuddles to help calm you down?

do you need to chat about your day to help get your mind off of what may be under the bed?

well, no matter what you may need, shota is more than willing to put aside his sleepiness to help you out

sometimes he'll even bring over a mug of hot chocolate or a glass of warm milk to help you relax ignore the milk one if your lactose intolerant slkdflsd

if you need a distraction, he'll help you snuggle up in your favorite jammies, and blanket. then he'll ask you about your day

Yamada Hizashi || Present Mic

this guy, this dude. he probably doesn't sleep much himself, always working on his lesson plans for the next class and drafting out what he'll say on his radio station

he'll invite you to join him if your having a particularly hard time with falling asleep

if he's doing some late-night broadcasts for his station, then he'll make sure that your comfortable. He'll set down a mic in front of you, and hand you some headphones if you want to join him

if not, then he'll make sure to give you as much attention as he can

he'll let you help him grade papers, or to come up with some lesson plans if you want to help him out

if you don't want a distraction, and instead want to talk about your anxiety, then he's all ears

if you don't have any coping mechanisms, then he's helping bounce ideas off of you to help come up with some for you

if you take some of his ideas to heart and start using them, then he's falling in love all over again

he's super happy to see that he was able to help you to any capacity

Midoriya Izuku || Deku

chances are, deku has already figured out something's keeping you up at night

he's already got a couple of journals dedicated to you, and a handful of pages are dedicated to brainstorming what the possible affliction is and ways to help with it

you two strive to be as communicative as possible, so it doesn't take you too long to let him know that you have anxiety surrounding sleep

he doesn't want to overwhelm you, but he does immediately jump to questioning you about it

do you prefer distractions, or should he focus on checking the room over? should he get you some warm milk/hot coco/tea and you two sit down and talk about stuff??

mans just wants you to be ok, and regardless of how long or rough his day is, you come first

if you simply want to shadow him through his nightly routine, thats fine with him too

just don't push him away. its not healthy to bottle things up and, while he understands the desire to 'protect' others from negative feelings, it only leads to making you feel worse

Bakugo Katsuki || Dynamight

he doesn't beat around the bush and, after the first month of you two living together, he questions you on why it seems like you haven't slept at all

he might get a bit more aggressive, and tell you to suck it up at first, you simply need to be firm with him. tell him how your anxieties aren't something that you can simply put aside

when he realizes just how much it affects you, and how much you have a hard time going to sleep, he jumps to trying to help you

i feel like he's likely to suggest ideas to physically tire yourself out, so your brain has no time to allow your anxieties to form

so, things like sparing, lifting weights, maybe even going on an evening jog/run every night

if those don't work, then perhaps the two of you could talk until you feel better or sleepy enough to... well, sleep

he'll ask you if you have coping mechanisms, and seems relieved when you tell him you have some

he'll ask what they are so that he can help you better

kats will even ask if theres times where you become nonverbal, and if there are, if you have ways of communicating when you do

if you don't, then he'll help you with that too

he just wants the best for you, even if he shows that weirdly sometimes

[limpfisted]

Realizing the name that is on mizora's contract

Is "wyll ravengard"

And he doesn't. Use that name anymore. By his own choice, he is no longer. Wyll ravengard

Mizora owns the soul, the personhood, the past, the very identity of "wyll ravengard"

But wyll made "the blade of frontiers" himself.

He can literally feel the call and potential corruption of the hells all the time, probably

But the blade of the frontiers is a hero and a legend, who doesn't make deals with devils, he fights devils! He hunts monsters! It says right here, in the first chapter of the book that wyll is writing about his own adventures, that he started when he was 17 years old! (He actually is writing a book about his own adventures and he titles every chapter. That's canon.)

The Blade of frontiers is good. A good person, a good boy, mizora calls him. The Blade of frontiers never falters. The Blade of frontiers has a long, long list of adventures and monsters hes slain. For the good of the people. Good, good, good, always good

Not for himself. No. He does it for the good of others, always. Because to be good is to do things bc its the right thing to do. He is not a person. He is a faithful servant to mizora to the sword coast. His identity is saving people. Who is he without them? Who is he without his father, and fighting? Wyll ravengard does not exist. Just wyll has been alone for seven years.

Of course the Blade of the frontiers is a persona he puts on, to make himself feel better. He chants all hail the Blade, if u kill karlach. Its a coping mechanism, and it is one that can be scary

But also. I didn't realize like. He genuinely has abandoned "wyll ravengard." Bc its mizoras. His family name, his identity. Mizora's. A soul is a real thing in dnd. But a name and an identity, are real things, that he was forced to remove himself from just as much as he was forced to remove himself from his father

and thats a part of it, too. Wyll ravengard belongs to mizora. Ravengwrd belongs to his father. Wyll is just wyll. To his friends. But he doesn't have any friends. And being just wyll is not enough

Hes got to be the blade of frontiers

Theo solomon says in his interview. Wyll is terrified of not being needed or wanted. He wouldn't know what to do with himself

He has to be good. Being good is selfless

He can't be good to his father. His father doesn't need him or want him.

People always need heroes.

The more corrupt and soulless he is--thd more he doubles down on selflessness, the harder he works, the kinder he gets

Its not a coincidence that being the blade also makes him feel good and is about hyping him up, in no way particularly humble as he usually is in conversation

He genuinely like. Has to convince himself, im okay! Im okay! Im still good!

And hes like. Let my deeds define me, not the beast I was. But like. Not every moment can be spent doing deeds.

How much is the anxiety of being alive and not having his own soul or identity or personhood besides his larp character he made up.... eating him up. From the inside out

And does he even notice it anymore. Or is he so humble and self-effacing and confused about his own suffering while also accepting it as fact---[of course, he says, twice,when mizora approaches u at wyrms rock] that he's just like. Extremely constantly coping. Focusing so hard on every task and doing it perfectly, elegantly, quietly, gently, that he doesn't care that the world is not so kind to him bc hes far more focused on how kind and good he can be to the world?

Wyll knows he made the right choice. He doesn't regret it. He'd do it again. But he still gave up so much of himself and had to make new. And he remembers. He remembers everything he gave up. And a genuinely happy childhood??? That he can never go back to

50 years protecting the sword coast, if he's lucky. He can never tell anyone about mizora. How can he take a wife or husband, have a family, with a devil waiting in the wings he can't even tell them about---unless she KNOWS that telling them about her will hurt them worse.

And then an eternity in hell

The loneliness of the hero, the tragic dark knight, hellstouched.

Can you picture being as romantic as wyll and realizing. Oh! I can never have a family! And I lost my only family!

When you are seventeen.

Yeah, wyll is coping hard. All he needs is to protect the people. That's what he's good at, that's what matters. That's his responsibility--bwcause anyone would do it, obviously, irs the right thing to do. Except they don't because they have. People who care about them, families, lovers, that make them settle down into jobs and stable homes. Important jobs. That wyll thinks are no less important than his own service to the sword coast

He loves adventure, but I imagine sometimes wyll wonders what Wyll Blacksmith or Wyll Baker or Wyll Cobbler would have been like.

He didn't have a choice....

It is 1:49 am lol

[mejomonster]

Huai dao: 1 i hope Sheng Yao dates KING OF ACTING SHU JIU (who is secretly Hei Xiazi from dmbj i am standing by that)

2 i do think sheng yao and su junzi (and the conflict of su junzi being married) situation aspects was somewhat worked into the 3 persom situation of fei du/luo wenzhou/tao ran in modu. The characters are different, and modu is way more intense about it (all 3 of the modu people have way more trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms and Intensities to them than sheng yao or su junzi so far). But the fun ideas played with are definitely sparks of excitement during Huai Dao, and i can see why they were worked in modu.

3 i want more jiang hu backstory! Idk about shen yexi having ptsd, as he (as far as i know) had a support network of friend coworkers and has been using fairly normal coping mechanisms for stress that arent like causing any major issues for him. But i do think jiang hu (based on hints so far) has either some childhood trauma or actual past-work trauma. The childhood trauma theory: if this is like modu, then the cases may parallel one or both leads mental states. In that case: jiang hu had a childhood where he was expected to be perfect and fell short/felt guilty, or perhaps he was a victim to something and seeked to appease them to feel in control (like 2nd huai dao case). Which could be adult work trauma and could be very broad frankly: it could instead be that he had an old workplace where his mistakes led to something bad for someone (maybe patients or coworkers) so he took on an unfair amount of guilt he put on himself (or someone im authority blamed him and he believed them in that it was his fault), or he felt so out of control (in any kind of abusive workplace tbh) that he ended up guilty abd scared of Following Orders or Protocol or Superiors and failing to help who he intended (both a corrupt workplace or even just a run of the mill police one/societally normalized stressful workplace) couldve caused it.

I tried to word it before and went on a tangent so im going to try and just quick state what i hope comes across clearly. So i think priest doesnt use mental health terms particularly well in Huai Dao. It gets better in later novels of priests novels (modu handles terms better - including parts where things arent named, which is sometimes more realistic of trauma and levels of it and depression and anxiety and just how like the range of how we cope and what messes us up is vastly different and results in different ways for people, and what deeply affects one person may make no result in another). But in Huai Dao because of specific term labelling, and it being on perpetrators of harm, it can fall into a kind of reinforcing certain ideas - which is my biggest warning if you read. The actual portrayal of characters feels realistic TO each individual characters cirmstances and feels reasonably realistic. So i think priesr doesnt let it affect actual portrayals. But atuff like say a criminal having ocd but no one on the investigation team having ocd... you know. Its like if you have 1 gay character in a story and theyre a villai. Its fine to do a gay villain, but if its ur only gay character then readers as a whole may just reinforce their belief 'gay people are bad' unless you have some other neutrally or well treated gay character to reinforce that your story is not intending to say all X are bad. Idk if that makes sense? (Like... again modu compares childhood abuse cases, in fact a variety from Fei Du and the Su girl forced to harm otjers as children and what theyre like older, to zhang donglai with an absent dad and his own fucked family issues, to various side characters... and because theres people who turn out all kinds of ways, and fei du is a lead wr root for, theres never the feeling of the story seeming to indicare people abused as children are 'bad.' Instead the story just more broadly is showing how things could turn out varyingly, and how a wide spectrum of ppl have lived through that kind of trauma). I think huai dao if it leaned less on labelling terms might have worked better, or some side or main chqracters having similar mental health issues that the writing paints as people we root for or feel sympathy toward like victims. So like. Mm a weak spot for sure. Expected to run into it in tjis genre, its not an uncommon flaw in many a crime novel or show. But it is something to be aware of. while i think if a main cjaracter eventually does reveal they have mental health issues is may help lessen the kind of abrasiveness currently. But qho knows. This is a problem widespread in stories.

I think the characters tjemselves function as you expect ppl to in their situation. So as realistic characters things feel not illogical or so unrealistic it drives me up a wall. But yeah the terms and a bit of the selection of who has what background has some not ideal choices.

[ukusreticence]

Hi <3 just wanted know is there any difference between Side A and side B's eldritch forms? and how do you draw those form(s)? I also just wanted to clarify:

Side A is the sparkly cosmos one, mainly introverted, did not go kaiju in heaven (?)

Side B is more shy than introverted, kinda more social, went kaiju in heaven (?)

Also, what's your artfight account? Thank you!

holy flip a legitimate ask about my characters aaa

artfight account is serinuku

the rest of the character stuff under the cut

-

Side A doesn't actually have any "Eldritch" form because they're not eldritch! They're actually more robotic/mechanical than eldritch ahah. I have played around with the thought of them having a more biblically accurate angel looking form but none of the concepts I made appeal to me so I kinda just put it on hold.

The main difference between Dyrkethiel Side A and Side B is that while they're both different from typical angels in their own way, One is mostly robotic and closer to an android while the other is a literal eldritch abomination.

Also yes Side A is the sparkly cosmos one who wishes he can snap your neck for bothering him (all bark no bite he's just easily agitated) and he didn't go kaiju but he did do a thing. If i get over my embarrassment of my own concepts/ideas I may share what thing he did. All I will say is that BOTH versions aren't particularly liked by God for different reasons. All I will say is that this reason is one of the reasons i ended up coming with Estorciel's existence ahaha

colored coded details/extra bits below and the color correct and clothed version as well from the first Dyrkethiel post. (Ignore the proportions please i am sobbing over them but already wrote all the text ack) This is technically just their non humanoid form but eh close enough to eldritch. The mechanical pattern might not stick and sorta came up with it on the fly

Side B, i'm still experimenting with their personality but yeah sounds about right. The whole kaiju in heaven/turning into their true form thing was mostly self indulgent but it depends on the universe you plop them into and the events. Altho in theory if they did actually go into their true form, chances of many lesser angels having their minds break so there's only husks is actually incredibly high which is why I only play around with the idea for self indulgent purposes.

So, guess the answer to that is whatever you feel like doing since I made both of these to put into other universes, I'm bad at coming up with my own completely unique ones ahaha.

Drawing their comprehensible form is kinda hard to explain since its just... doodling. doodling mostly. But their true form is actually a lot easier than it looks.

i usually then just absolutely flood the picture with squiggles or lines depending on how complex i wanna be. For certain things I just do the first two tendril layers.

I will say that i like, don't have a consistent design for the tendril placements and such, it's just a bunch of lines and squiggles. Just kinda a lot of branching too. Same with the gradients and stuff. Reason this one is not as detailed as this one is because i used a really massive canvas and brush for that picture and a LOT of repeating step two.

im so sorry if this is not what you meant when you asked how i drew them pfff. didnt quite get the question but at the same time my head is very very empty right now.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, today Ive read chapters 9-12 and honestly, at a certain point reading this book while knowing all the spoilers stops being frustrating and starts just being funny. Like, Ianthe brings up the fact that people are gonna want to kidnap Feyre for "breeding" to which Tamlin says that no one is gonna dare do that to Prythian's Saviour because then theyll be on the shitlist of the other six courts, but Ianthe says that Rhysand could and would do it because hes The Most Powerful(tm) and hes really manipulative and yeah. shes right. Obviously I know this is gonna be treated as unreasonable and as foreshadowing of Ianthe being evil all along, but shes totally right

Anyway, Rhysand continues to be unbearably annoying but not in any particularly interesting way, so I dont really have anything to say about him. I hate how hes so powerful that six courts all working together would be no match for the night court and he comes across as sooooo insincere. Like, I often talk about not being the biggest Feylin fan because its pretty boring to me, but atleast it was like, sweet because of how genuine and endearingly awkward Tamlin was

Speaking of Tamlin, guess who just keeps getting worse and worse? I had some hope for him when he reduced the guards and gave Feyre more freedom, but then he doubled them again and he did that thing with the barrier around the manor so yeah. Now, if I wanted to be a pedantic asshole I could point out that he listened to Feyre (who managed to very clearly tell him what she needs at the moment, freedom, which was great) and they were doing fine until Rhysand came back, but as much as I would like to blame Rhysand for everything, Tamlin's actions are still his own. And honestly, I find Tamlin keeping any guards around Feyre after what she told him very unreasonable

I think keeping Feyre safe has become a coping mechanism for him because he couldnt protect her from Amarantha back then so now hes trying his best to protect her from Rhysand (and others, but mostly him rn) who was essentially Feyre's very own Amarantha, and obviously its not his fault that thats a coping mechanism he developed, but it is actively making Feyre upset and making it more difficult for her to heal as well, and hes the older one in this situation, hes the guy whos dealt with intense trauma before, he should be listening to her and giving her space

The only thing where I'll kinda take Tamlin's side is him locking her in the manor when he was going to the western border and Feyre wanted to follow them, but even then the force field was way too much. But also, to me it very much seemed like he and Lucien were in a hurry to leave and it was a very hasty spur-of-the-moment decision, but also it felt like the narrative was trying to demonise him more by impling that it was more of a calculated decision. Like, idk thats the vibe that Lucien explaining to Feyre that everyone but her could pass through the shield gave me, but that might just be a personal thing. I mean, Tamlin is clearly being demonised here either way, him being so unreasonable is something that I find very OOC even with the recent trauma hes experienced. But, theres a lot of buts in this paragraph i know, I do also want to acknowledge that Feyre would likely not have wanted to go with Tamlin to this conflict-zone if he had listened to her wayyyyyy earlier and not doubled the guards again. I recognize this kind of behaviour because I also felt like I had no agency over my situation in the past and Im also a very stubborn person, and it lead to me also doing more and more reckless things in an attempt to make the people around me actually listen, and make them understand how serious I was about getting out of the situation that was upsetting me

(In case youre worried, Im completely fine now and Im leaving out a lot of detail for the sake of my privacy and so I can draw a cleaner parallel)

Speaking of Feyre's agency, chapter 12 ended with her having a panic attack because she was trapped and then Mor and Rhysand showed up and Alis just gave them to her??? First of all, insane behaviour, second of all, I hate that Rhysand is meant to be the choice guy or whatever but wont wait for her to come of her own volition. I think it wouldve been better if she had that panic attack and it ran its course and then she either called for Rhys or Mor or managed to winnow to the night court herself and thats how she got there. Also, and this is part of the same issue, I hate that Rhys is the one who originally forced her to read. I think at some point Feyre shouldve realised that all the people in the spring court are withholding information from her but!, she realises that they write shit down sometimes and exchange messages and whatnot so knowing how to read could really help her here and maybe she even thinks about Rhysand taunting her about teaching her UTM, so next time shes at the Night Court she demands that she be taught how to read herself

Because honestly, right now it seems like she has the same amount of agency no matter what court shes in, which is basically none

I was gonna end it on that snappy one-liner, but then I remembered all the stuff with Feyre losing weight and how Rhys remarks upon it and how Feyre notices herself getting thinner as well and I dont have that much to say about it, I just wanted to say that it just made me incredibly uncomfortable

But yeah, now Im done for realsies

[defiantdreemurrs]

i think part of the reason i appreciate armored core more than souls now is because i feel like im actually pretty good at armored core

ive been playing souls games for like 8 and a half years and while i feel like im pretty alright i still consistently feel not particularly good at the games when im outside of my comfort zone

versus armored core where ive only played for like 4 months but i feel like im actually pretty good at these games because of how much it activates my brain

i feel like i use a lot more of my brain playing armored core than when i play souls because theres *so* many things to keep track of and the intense stimulation is just enough to keep my ADHD occupied so i can focus on the things i need to focus on

its like that episode of my little pony where rainbow dash has trouble studying until twilight realizes how well she retains information while flying because the amount of information hitting her is stimulating enough to her brain that shes able to retain things

as opposed to other situations where theres not enough stimulation and its harder to focus on the things i *want* to focus on

i gotta keep track of enemy positions, my position, my AP, my energy, my ammunition, which weapons i have active, i gotta swing my lock box in the right directions, i gotta manage my boosting (less so in 6 but holy christ is it a lot to get used to at first esp when playing an aerial build in the early games), is this weapon the right one for this situation or am i not following my internal rhythms and instead just using weapons incredibly unstrategically, i gotta manage 6 individual fingers doing individual things and make sure theyre all working independent of each other

its so much to keep track of at any given moment and it can sometimes become *over* stimulating but armored core is one of the few series thats able to keep me fully 100% invested without any kind of background noise

and a lot of it is just building up internal rhythms, patterns, timings, and letting your subconscious brain handle those things so you can focus on the less predictable elements, like memorizing about how long you can boost for before needing to stop and refill your energy so you dont have to think about it as much and can instead devote more resources to aiming or weapon usage

or memorizing the patterns in which you use your weapons based on the situation (how long does each weapon take to reload, whats the most efficient way to manage damage output, in 6 now with the stagger mechanic you might have to ask which weapons are more efficient at building up ACS overload or more efficient at doing damage *after* reaching ACS overload)

these games are so intense on my brain in the best of ways and i love them so much

[zazerrrr]

heavyweight

a oneshot for one of my ocs thats on an oc blog im a mod for 😊i have no idea what to tag for this lol... its my first oneshot (criticism will be worshipped)

^^ heres the blog! its currently in its early stages but you can find more Milo and other characters on here once we get our stuff going

some things may not make sense just yet because the story this OC is in is not finished yet!! but i hope you can still enjoy it

contains: alcohol, hangover

==============

Milo is a heavy drinker.

he often finds himself losing track of time - and quite frankly, everything else around him when he drinks. he "occasionally" drinks himself into a stupor - "occasionally" meaning more times than he'd like to admit in front of others. who could blame him, though? any adult under his circumstances would turn to drinking as some form of a coping mechanism. if anything, drinking was the least dangerous thing he could've been doing to relieve his weary soul of the stress and pressure forced upon him unfairly. it wasn't like it was his fault, anyway.

it took a lot for Milo to get just a little tipsy, let alone passed out drunk. so its hard to imagine a scenario where he'd drink enough to find himself in particularly memorable situations with women, you'd think. but, no - its happened a lot. a lot more than Milo is comfortable with admitting.

his brain, a mess of jumbled thoughts, almost resembled the walls of the stereotypical mental hospital: scribbles of different colors permanently etched into the walls of his crowded mind. the thick clouds of smoke that fog his mind completely drown out any rational thoughts out of his head, leaving him completely powerless at his own hands.

or so he'd think. in an almost comical way, alcohol serves as a sort of 'knight in shining armor for him' - clown him all you want, but that's his way of coping. a grown adult like him shouldn't have to depend on others.

==============

Milo found himself wrapped up in the thick sheets of a bed he wasn't familiar with. his crusted eyes, pried open by the thin streaks of sunlight peering through the window, felt as heavy as lead. he found it difficult to move for a minute, before he finally regained the strength in his limbs.

morning light shone, gently coaxing Milo out of the bed. his vision, slightly foggy, took a minute to get accustomed to his new surroundings. he glanced to his side as he slowly sat up, a pile of hair sprawled out on the pillow with what looked to be a sleeping woman underneath the lump on the sheets. "so it was one of those nights," he thought to himself absentmindedly as his gaze wandered across the room, journeying along the ceiling and walls.

the girl's room didn't contain anything notable, besides the framed picture beside him on the bedside table. he turned his neck, which was slightly stiff as his muscles tensed at the sensation. he winced, his hand darting up to the back of his own neck to soothe it. his hand trailed down his neck to itch his back before it trailed up to his hair, tousling it and noticing how dry it felt upon his fingertips. he made a mental note to himself: wash his hair when he gets home.

his attention shifts back to the framed photo perched on the edge of the table, which showcased two faces. one of them was presumably the girl currently sleeping next to him, her dark brown hair framing her gentle features and a light hue of pink splashed on her cheeks as the second face beside her was a blonde-haired guy pressing a kiss to her face. Milo wasn't one to pry nor jump to conclusions, but something told him he should probably get out of this girl's apartment before he gets caught in something he shouldn't be a part of.

as the warm embrace of sleep finally melted the last of itself off of his shoulders, Milo's muscles felt somewhat sore as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. he felt his legs tense up, accompanied by the stiff creaking of the muscle on his entire body and he held back a pained wince.

as he stood up from the engulfing comfort of the mattress, he walked along the side of the bed before crouching down at the foot to pick up his clothes. he woke up in boxers only, sleeping in a bed that wasn't his own - a genius wasn't needed to infer just what happened last night. Milo himself couldn't care less, however. as long as he woke up first and made sure the girl was okay, he was good to go.

as he stood up, he stretched his arms above his head with a lazy groan falling from his lips. he glanced over at the girl, who was still sleeping soundly on her side of the bed, curled up underneath the covers. he slipped his pants and shirt back on, slinging his jacket over his shoulder.

he stood over the bed, looking around the room for a few more moments as his mind began to wander. he felt... normal, oddly enough. he felt free. it was probably just the alcohol, but Milo was willing to take what he could get.

slipping on his jacket, the raised collar hung open and the broken zipper dangled from the side of it, bouncing up and down against his shirt as he walked. before he left, he quickly looked around for a piece of paper and something to write with. in a hasty chicken-scratch, he wrote:

"thanks, hope you're feeling alright. - Milo"

he looked at the note for a second, realizing that putting his name probably wasn't the best idea considering that both of them were nearly passed out drunk when they met. he quickly scratched out his name and replaced it with:

"thanks, hope you're feeling alright. - zipper"

the memories of last night were foggy and unclear, but he could vaguely remember curious fingers tugging at his open collar and inquiring about his broken zipper. he remembered the word 'zipper' rolling off of his tongue a lot that night - as well as heaps of shameless flirting from the girl's end - and decided she'd probably remember that word more than his actual name.

with that, he stuck it to the empty pillow that he slept on and flipped his collar up. he made a beeline to the door, keeping his hand on the doorknob before silently pushing it open. he knew the hangover would catch up to him sooner or later, so he thought it best to get home as soon as he could.

after a 15 minute uber ride, he found himself back within the familiarity of his own apartment and his own bed. he sat down on the edge, the mattress threatening to creak as his full weight sunk into it. he leaned forward, running his tired, slender fingers through his messy brown hair with several white strands sticking out here and there.

he laid himself down onto the bed, his pillows soft and warm as if it had been waiting for him this whole time. he felt a headache creeping up on him and groaned, the effects of his hangover quickly catching up to him as he closed his eyes and let himself succumb to illness and the consequences of his own drinking problem.

and as if on cue, the mess of loud thoughts and dark scribbles crept back into his head, rendering him helpless once more. he had a feeling he'd be having a long day, as well as an even longer night.

[hauntedselves]

hello, im not sure if ive sent this ask to another blog or if it was yours and its simply in the queue but i thought id ask again just in case

main q : could you explain what would qualify shallow vs deep, intense, andor strong emotions ?

personal context : it feels like my emotions are both at once. this seems to be a trait of hpd, but i only have bpd to my knowledge, though cluster b pds do ofc tend to share traits

im not quite sure how to explain my experience but it might be one of these :

my feelings seem big but i cannot acces them / i can only handle them mechanically and from a distance (dissociation ?)

my emotions are deep in the moment, but they change rapidly and once theyre over i forget how they truly felt and associate their lack of permenance with fakeness (general bpd symptoms + emotional impermanence)

i generally feel more numb than most ppl so even small feelings feel intense to me and so im very intolerent to them

i like putting words to how i feel, so having a definition for "shallow" emotion would help, and so would knowing if other ppl experience similar feelings

and thank you so much for running this blog :]

yes i got your previous ask, and it's been sitting in my drafts since you sent it because i don't know the answer!

i can't find anything that actually explains what shallow emotions are, only that they happen and are particularly common in HPD, BPD, and probably NPD and AsPD. it's part of the criteria for HPD ("Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions."), and it's often paired with the contradiction that emotions can be shallow and deep, intense and limited at the same time.

as for your personal experiences:

"my feelings seem big but i cannot acces them / i can only handle them mechanically and from a distance" - yep, that sounds like dissociation, or at the very least emotional dysregulation. very common in BPD.

"my emotions are deep in the moment, but they change rapidly and once theyre over i forget how they truly felt and associate their lack of permenance with fakeness" - you're right again, classic BPD & emotional dysregulation(/impermanence).

"i generally feel more numb than most ppl so even small feelings feel intense to me and so im very intolerent to them" - also classic dissociation & emotional dysregulation

i don't know which of these, if any, is an experience of shallow emotions, because i don't know what shallow emotions means! if i had to guess, i would say the first and second ones seem like something i would call "shallow" emotions. but that's a guess because, again, i don't know!

sorry it took so long for such an unsatisfactory answer!

[cogito-dreams]

Yippee I love the love limbus ocs have been getting so far and I've been working on two of my own :3!! If you got any please share I'm absorbing all ocs

YEAHHH i love seeing all the limbus ocs!!! i really love the proj moon and especially limbus company worldbuilding bc theres just so much space to put your characters... so many nests, etc and like. all the mirror worlds/identities makes it really easy to have other versions of your ocs too if you have other aus with them!! its really great and i love seeing how creative people get with it

and EYES EYES EYES YES. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IF U WOULD BE WILLING TO SHARE UR TWO!!

also this got really long so im putting it under a readmore LOL

i have a bunch at this point!! mainly because i have lots of other ocs and some of them are just really good for porting over to limbus LOL

i really need to draw them all someday but the most fleshed out ones for rn are probably... augh theres so many. shogo, helsing, jekyll, gray, arronax, caulfield,

caulfield is a little more fleshed out w reference to his novel (which is catcher in the rye)! hes not super great at fighting but his weapon is an ax called. ax (i swear thats related to the book) and his base ego is Carousel. long story short hes Full Of Depression.

he used to be a mechanic in a wing somewhere, but left after (insert backstory spoilers here) and was just kind of wandering around for a while before the bus picked him up and that was that!

(i havent drawn any yet so the picrew used can be found here! https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/1014150)

meanwhile shogo has a much more fleshed out backstory! his novel is battle royale and hes from the backstreets. looks like this

he tries his best to appear violent and intimidating (and he often is regularly violent or at least pretty quick-tempered) but hes kind of a softie deeper down and is particularly anti-fixer, considering most of them to be assholes who abuse their power and just make everything worse... even though hes pretty much acting like an independent fixer himself by trying to take matters into his own hands. hes also the only one ive drawn but it was for the roseate desire ego he would get so ill skip putting it here for now LMAO

also shogos other egos are fun bc he also exists in my lob corp run (named clay there but since hes limbus here he gets referred to by his callsign LOL) and i based an original abnormality off of him so he gets to have that as one of his egos as well. which ill also design and draw someday

ANYWAY ty for the ask!! i absolutely love love love hearing about limbus ocs and this is an open invitation for absolutely anyone to interact or add their ocs to this etc etc bc i love hearing about all of them