#not because I want to see them BUT BC SOME PPL CANT SEEM TO SHUT UP FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS ENJOYMENT

[dudeiloveflan]

AFTER SIX FUCKING LONG DAYS OF SURPRISINGLY NOT SPOILING MYSELF, NOT EVEN ONE BIT, I FINALLY SAW SONIC 3 ON THEATRES

[bluewinnerangel]

Most larries say Walls is 100% ab Harry while Fine Line is ab Harry's self discovery journey w gender and a long term r/ship and it makes me uneasy bc why do we base Louis whole album on loving Harry. Im not saying he doesn't talk ab H but it's weird that they base the entire album on him. I feel that leads to unhealthy expectations bc LT2 might not be that way and then you have ppl shaking. Do L&H write ab each other on every track? I doubt. Yeah they share a life but idk. am I making sense?

I don't know what most larries say about their albums really. Do they? 100% about Harry? That sounds pretty exaggerated. What have you been reading? I think I've said it in this longass post that I don't think they write as much about each other as some interpretations make it seem. You'd have to interpret their lyrics in a pretty literal sense, that everytime there's a hint of a romantic nature that must mean it's about each other right? But I don't think it is. loads of songwriters have nonromantic shit to write off their chests but reshape it into a lovesong.

Of course they are going to be included in each others work as they are included in each others life, like you say they share a life so that's just. The most rational conclusion here. I think just like Harry's music, Louis' is about himself, his life and his path and his growth and his wants and needs and yeah Harry's just, there too, because he's part of all of it and has been part of all of the stages and the "we" that came so far and all that. But it's still about Louis. It's his music. His work. Him.

Apparently I felt like pushing my opinions on all his songs in here so here's what I think about each song on Walls. An analysis is linked if I (or one I agree with - aaaaand it's mostly @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk's ones <3) have any:

KMM - double meaning industry struggles but I got No Control take my Stockholm Syndome Medicine we kinky what new what about it we nasty everyone else in the room can see it

DLIBYH - response to deep dark times (ESNY), yes it's reassuring Harry but then most of the lines are "whatever tears you apart" really written to a broader audience, with his fans in mind to have that comfort song that will work for whatever their struggles are

Two Of Us - his mom, grief.

We Made It - Louis and Harry. Them together.

Too Young - again them together, his own struggles throughout it all

Walls - Louis. All of Louis. Personal growth, career path, love life, just a fking masterpiece that has all of it.

Habit - Louis louis louis. I mean yeah the fucker be larrying hard (princess park aldkjslgkdjSON) but I do think Habit isn't centered around Harry. There's this concept of a relationship there but he's shut it down pretty hard that it was about his own, he really got it in there that he viewed this song as the described relationship being pretty toxic and that he didn't identify with that in his relationship, that his is chill (this was said in the context of E, but you know... maybe with his actual love life in mind). I think the song is about his job, being a public figure, singing, touring, and despite all the shit that comes with it still wanting to keep going, perhaps addressed to his audience or to ~those involved~, and its loaded with references to more specific situations / deeper struggles which I think circle back to 1D times and choices made during it just like Walls does, things we don't know about and can only speculate to make it make sense, and yeah probably these issues wouldn't exist the way they do if it weren't for his relationship with Harry, but the described relationship here, that love-hate relationship, isn't about theirs. (of course I'm claiming this shit and can't find the interview back where he says these things about his relationship in regards to the song and honestly it could have I CANT FIND IT and now I'm scared it might have been about Back to You or KMM and I'm full of shit here)

Always You - Them together. Again his own struggles throughout it all

Fearless - ...maybe written with Zayn in mind? (I know this just sounds like a Genius entry or a wild youtube comment but there's more to it ok) Or directed at his (and/or the people in his life in the same boat) younger self.

Perfect Now - 1D songs fanpiece but BOI O BOI NOW THIS IS ABOUT HARRY

Defenceless - If I Could Fly fanpiece but still his, Louis', struggles. (and I think part of the in Defenceless and IICF described issues COULD BE not addressed to each other but rather to the public. So again Harry's included in this, but it's not a monologue directed at him perhaps, or perhaps it is)

Only The Brave - gay anthem, it's ~a fking solo song~, Louis has said he wrote the least on this one. You can debate forever about this one but at the very least it's clear to me this is something Louis chose to end his album on and that wouldn't be if he didn't identify with it, and I see very little indication in there he meant that as a message about or to a lover.

So out of 12 songs, we got 3 obvious we're been in a longterm relationship and still are songs (WMI, Too Young, Always You), a song maybe originated from reassuring Harry but just reassuring everyone (DLIBYH), one nasty gay one (KMM), one I'm using your song to build my own song one (Defenceless), and the best cutest fucking thing that does sound like it's for and to and just everything about him Harry Harry Harry (Perfect Now). This is really highly similar to how much I think Harry writes about Louis really. If we're gonna compare. Which is a whole other question why would we even need do that.

As for LT2 expectations I don't wanna have any but I do have my ideas of whats to come. I think since Louis has hinted at its contents being closer to KMM, Walls, OTB, and Copy of a Copy, and also paired with this cryptic lil shit 369 illuminatispiracy whateverthehell stuff I do think his lyrics are going to be moving in a much more vague deeper brainpayne conceptual direction. That we can say byebye wave to the easy times with 1D-esque lyrics and tunes. Which yep sign me tf up.

[mclwcc]

thank you for your respectful reply think just in a day when people are calling daniel fans all sort of names I just felt the need to address what u said! in regards to the tags u put, especially the ones about daniel's ig story, I am interested to hear your thoughts. Even as a Daniel fan, I can see it as tactical, especially now if he did know there were other discussions going on, but it also seems that it is something he almost had to do so that the media would shut up about it all and I do think he would have had to make mclaren aware he was making a statement like that...just interested to hear your thinking if you feel ok to share?

ok so. as i warned before i cant promise to keep my thoughts within the realm of like. respectful objectivity on this topic so be warned

essentially i thought it was really presumptious of daniel in that insta story to imply that the rumours were about him quitting mclaren of his own volition rather than mclaren firing him. when he said "i am committed to mclaren until the end of next year and am not walking away from the sport" it sounded like he was shaping the discourse as if people were worried HE was disappointed enough in mclaren to quit them before his contract was up.

i get that in reality its likely daniel is very aware that the risk was actually on mclaren's part, not his, and its likely he just couldnt rly frame it in any other way - especially bc as we have now discovered mclaren werent committed to him till the end of next year. it was a response to ppl who were already assuming daniel was a free agent, and possibly tinged w some bitterness that he has to write this kind of statement even if his seat WAS on the verge of being lost.

that said, to me it read like his driver's ego peeking through, like he can't picture the relationship between him and mclaren as one where HE has a responsibility and even after a year and a half of his teammate severely outperforming him he still thinks its solely mclaren's job to fix the issues no one but him seems to be having. or, even if this is just the way he's trying to showcase the situation to the public as if the rumours are so silly he didnt even figure out where they came from, it still felt like a subtle power play of you should be happy im even choosing to stay with you because look how worried everyone is (ie look how worried i can frame it so everyone seems to be) that i would possibly be leaving you.

thing is, by the time that insta story was released i had already fully lost patience with daniel's stint at mclaren. i was tired of p13s every quali and interviews saying he doesn't know how he's losing time or complaining abt having to adapt to a car as if thats not every drivers job, and mclaren app blurbs from practice sessions where lando was talking abt how to improve performance and he was talking about how he liked x country or y fans or had a good time for z reasons, but couldnt get the tyres to work or whatever (again im being subjective - not his fault lando is dry as fuck and allergic to fun in those mcl app exclusives). so like. i wanted to believe that hes at least trying his hardest and pushing for the team rather than for his own self satisfaction - which im sure he was, dont get me wrong, it would be stupid of me to say that i genuinely believe daniel wasnt trying, but that insta story certainly did nothing to help my frustration at the time

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Friends to Lovers with Tony Stark

Tony Stark x reader

warnings:

a/n: i make bad decisions and then write immediately after, hope this didn’t absolutely suck

prompt: anonymous: “Headcanons going from best friends to lovers with Tony Stark”

meeting one another way back in the day, children on wildly weathly businessmen

actually forced to play together while your parents were in business meetings

you ended up resenting each other

mostly because every time you had to see each other, it got boring really fast

and your parents shit talked his parents constantly so you accepted that it should just be that way

YEARS later you and him reconnected when you attended MIT

“son of a bitch, what are the odds? tony goddamn stark”

“the odds aren’t in our favor, i guess”

not only were the two of you in assigned seats for the semester, you were also lab partners

but then you realized that you two were feuding for no reason and you actually enjoyed each others company

in this setting, your friendship thrived

“dude, i cant believe that we spent our entire childhood despising each other”

“yeah, y/n, you really missed out. i’m a motherfucking pleasure”

“oh, shut up, tony!”

pulling all nighters because the two of you get distracted by each others presence often

“y/n, try and catch the popcorn in your mouth. say ‘aaaahh’”

“oh, shit. wait, okay. ahhhhh” *throws popcorn and hits your eye* “wait, one more time!”

some wild nights on the town, occasionally stumbling back to your dorms after a few too many drinks

sometimes tony goes out on his own and calls you when he can’t make it home

“hh-ey se—” *burps* “sexy. could you maybeee, i dunno, i need some. some help getting home”

“same place as last time?”

“yeahh, that’s the place.” *hic* “im gonna throw up”

“i have the bucket in my backseat”

and yeah, he calls you sexy when he’s drunk, you just deal with it

he also forgets his keys a lot so thats a whole other mission for you

being bored as hell on school breaks because you have to go back to your families and hear them complain about one another (and ofc report back and make fun of your dramatic ass parents)

but one day you got a call from tony over winter holiday and you were excited to hear his voice until it seemed a little shaky

“hey? everything alright?”

“not...not really. i’ve got some bad news. really bad news...”

he could barely get his words out after that, but he told you his parents had been in an accident

you immediately left your house and drove hours to go see tony, this was his moment of need

mysteriously not long after that, your parents suffered a similar fate

the two of you took over your companies and had much more reasonable meetings, a wonderful partnership, indeed

but you were still two childish idiots at times

you’d bring each other to parties and shit

“you guys have met y/n, right? my date?”

“yep, this is tony, my date”

ongoing joke

ofc you two have done some shit on dares

i firmly believe tons of ppl have dared you guys to make out and who are y/n l/n and tony stark to turn down a good dare?

“what’s he taste like?”

“those goddamn blueberries he’s always eating”

he always has snacks always

several headlines have been speculation on whether or not you two are dating

tony drives you around tons

wants to “show you a good time”

blasting music while speeding down the road

honestly? sharing hotel rooms just bc you feel safer together

especially after he disappeared for so long

“oh my god, tony, i was worried sick abouy you”

“have you written my obituary yet? i gotta read it before i do anything else. how will i be remembered?”

“shut up and give me a hug, you asshole”

playfully making fun of each other

him showing you his “greatest creation” which was a battle suit (which was actually pretty badass)

“i want one”

“no way, this is my baby. you cant have my baby. unless you wanna have my baby” *wink wink*

ah, pepper likes when you’re around bc you distract tony from her and get him back on his work

and happy likes you because tony’s less paranoid around you

you’re like his second bodyguard but you dont get paid

CANT forget rhodey he cant stand you only bc you remind him of tony

but overall you’re alright

you CANNOT HELP but laugh at tony when he does something unfathomably stupid!!!!

even if hes in immediate danger you sometimes cant stop laughing (but that might just be panic.)

as the avengers came up, you weren’t invited on that “business trip” >:(

instead you got to accompany pepper on some stark/l/n business and ended up seeing tony nearly die on live tv

the second you saw him again, you couldn’t tell if you were happy or furious to see him

“you son of a bitch, stark! you had me so worried that you weren’t gonna make it, i might as well kill you myself! don’t ever do something so stup—”

tony kissed you

but like, for real

not as a joke

it seemed right, so you kissed back

“yeah, i missed you, too. can we go get some dinner and catch up?”

“wait, that was..?”

“long overdue, i know”

wasn’t long before the tabloids got ahold of some more “tony x y/n” content

and the lovely rumor was confirmed at a press conference!

“mr. stark, is it true that you and y/n l/n have an official relationship?”

“hell yeah, it’s true! you heard here first, folks! y/n and i are an item! and i fuckin’ love them!”

you made the cover of 5 different magazines 😌

you supported tony on his adventures but you wanted in

“really, after what happened in new york? well, i guess you saving my life on the battlefield would be kind of hot...sure. we’ll give it a shot”

“nuh-uh, tony. i’m in whether you like it or not!”

“that’s why i love you, you do it all. even when i don’t want you to”

engineering your own tech for yourself and others to help on missions

you did surprisingly well

tony had some issues that needed resolving though...like flirting during fights

“wow, y/n, you look great from this angle” *gets hit by some projectile*

“hah! serves you right!”

seriously, you guys were an iconic couple

and it helped that you guys were already so comfortable with each other, the two of you knew exactly what the other was thinking, it was baffling that you guys didn’t actually have powers

but tony was still tony and he had a problem putting you in danger, he was most comfortable with his arm around you

avengers parties and other dealings kept you busy busy busy

but you always made time for one another

and had tons of fun wherever you could

one might even say you and tony were...endgame (im so sorry)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :) 

[cursedlightwood]

[Sweats becaise can't think of fic prompts] but omg my fave fic themes/ tropes are fairytales and there's barely any for Magnus and it's a shame tbh, the aesthetic of Magnus being a prince, a mermaid (hello the cute nonbinary implications of being a mermaid where are my rights :(, also aaa fairy prince Magnus? The endless possibilities anyways dhsjhd aaa we need more fairytale fic tropes for Magnus. -luxxmagnus

YES okay i want to write smth about this someday but for now let’s do some HEADCANONS babey! ALSO ezra ( @thesorrowoflizards) has plans for a fairytale au that is AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL and PEAK and i cant wait for it

ANYWAYS

Magnus as a prince is so underrated. Like he’s a prince of hell yeah but ppl who use that troupe generally write dark!magnus content that makes me want the death. BUT Magnus as a fairytale prince, Alec as a knight maybe, or a prince from another kingdom. Forbidden romance. The drama of politics. Catarina is Magnus’s advisor because of course she is, and Dot is like an oracle for the kingdom. Ragnor is the king, he’s not Magnus’s father but he took him in when Magnus was young and since Ragnor has no children he’s next in line for the throne. Asmodeus is dead in this au because I said so. Ragnor..........doesnt really have the personality of a king, he’s a little reclusive and a lot of the kingdom speculates that he’s gone crazy. Magnus, on the other hand, is BELOVED. He’s always got a little troupe of women (and men) sorta following him around. People ask Ragnor for Magnus’s hand in marriage like, every day. He spends a lot of time in the kingdom, traveling around and talking to people, helping. If we think of Alec as a prince from another kingdom....Robert and Maryse bring their children to Ragnor’s kingdom, trying to broker peace between the two of them, some kind of alliance. They want to marry off Izzy to Magnus, and Magnus and Izzy get along GREAT! But not romantically. But Izzy’s brother..............Magnus is........interested. Alec is also........interested. Maybe there’s some secret kisses, a little bit of a cat and mouse game. Alec’s next in line for the throne, so his parents don't want him to get married to Magnus, they want him home to rule their kingdom. Notably, Alec and Magnus don’t care. I won't even get to the other parts of this ask if i don't SHUT UP so basically they get married and rule together, Izzy rules the idris kingdom, everyone is happy and malec are in love. 

MERMAID MAGNUS!!! THIS IS BLESSED!!!! ALSO YES, NB MERMAIDS! TRANS MERMAIDS!! Fairytale societies in general with completely different concepts of gender to what humans have! I don’t have a huge plot idea for this one like I do for the prince au BUT some ideas! 

Mermaid Magnus and human Alec. 

Magnus being injured by a ship, or by hunters. He was probably trying to save someone, maybe a young mermaid (madzie???) that had been captured on the ship. He washes ashore, bleeding and passed out and Alec finds him

Idk who Alec is in this. Maybe he lives by the beach with his family, works as a sailor, or he’s a price for the like, little mermaid aesthetic. 

He sees Magnus, and he isn't sure what's going on, but he wants to help. He bandages up the wound. He notices that Magnus seems to get a little....lethargic being outside the water. He was moving a little before but now his breathing is slow, his heartbeat is slow, so he finds somewhere shallow, lays him so that the wound is outside.

okay maybe i do kinda have a plot

Magnus starts to wake up and at first he panics- he doesn’t recognize Alec, he panics, Alec tries to calm him down and Magnus is trying to fight back but eventually he calms down. 

His injury starts to heal itself, Magnus thanks Alec and leaves

The next time they meet, Alec is out in a storm. (LITTLE MERMAID AU) and he’s a dramatic bitch so he tries to go down with his ship. 

Magnus saves him from the wreckage, drags him up on an island near where he lives

as soon as Alec wakes up Magnus is all “we’ve got to stop meeting like this”

but before he leaves, Alec is all “how can i find you again”

so they pick a time

they meet around nightfall, every night, and they talk, exchange stories

Alec sits on a rock, and Magnus leans against it, body half in the water and half out. and they talk for hours, and Magnus thinks about how pretty Alec looks under the moonlight and Alec thinks about how the reflections of the stars in the water play across Magnus’s skin and make him look etheral. 

Magnus definitely doesn't become human forever. maybe there's some type of magic that lets him temporarily go out of water, or magic to let Alec come down and be part of his society

anyways they fall in love

OKAY FAIRIES. Meliorn is also in this au bc of course they are. I’m not quite imagining seelies though. I am ABSOLUTELY imagining wings bc Magnus with wings is the BEST content. His wings are a little transparent, they’re golden, and they shine when the light flows through them. 

They’re absolutely beautiful, and once he and Alec are together, Alec spends hours just staring at them, stroking his hand over every bit. They don’t feel real, they feel so light and soft. 

I actually have no plot for this mostly just hhghghghg magnus with wings pretty im sorry fjdsklfjdlksa.

In conclusion:

MORE MAGNUS CENTRIC FAIRYTALE AUS

[meridianrose]

@discoursecatharsis per the twitter discussion I gathered up some posts in case the Neil Gai/man / goo/d omens discourse gets picked for the showcase - I think your readership skews to anime so probably not, but fingers crossed it gets a mention because calling an author a coward (and a homophobe and a racist among things) when they’re calling something a love story without the need for sex, for acknowledging the existence of aro/ace/nonbinary people, and for casting actors of colour in multiple roles and having nonbinary characters...is pretty fucked up I think.

This is the tweet that started it https://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/1148956223406059520?lang=en (thread after someone tweeted Gaiman was a coward for not calling Aziraphale/Crowley gay)

https://medium.com/@alexhasopinions/does-neil-gaiman-not-understand-what-flirting-is-226e7bf9b503  (accusation of queerbaiting)

https://niceprophecies.tumblr.com/post/187467972642  tumblr post about an article retweeted by Gaiman and his assertion that this is a queer love story but does not need labelling as gay

https://pervocracy.tumblr.com/post/187840576244/okay-i-feel-silly-but-i-havent-managed-to-figure (it's queerbaiting - though blog author seems to have stepped back a bit in later posts)

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/lgbti-fans-stop-harassing-creators/ (an article looking at that 'coward' tweet and taking Gaiman's side; the first commentator however says since Gaiman isn't gay he's in the wrong; "Whatever he is, he's still falling prey to a cis/heteronormative culture. And according to this story, he's doing it by tone policing actual queer people to shut up and just take what he gives them.")

https://aymphoenix.com/blog/good-omens-is-it-queerbaiting ("However, it is still a very queercoded story with no actual queer content. Is Good Omens queerbaiting? I think it is, yes.")

Gaiman says the characters can be read as aro/ace/nb: https://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/1137370226931228672?lang=en 

reddit cap of tumblr post that called Gaiman a homphobe and the rebuttal: https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/c2y40g/neil_gaiman_is_a_homophobe/

https://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/185711520301/relating-to-crowley-and-aziraphale-being-written  tumblr post where Gaiman says it is a love story but all headcanons are good and another on same theme, it's a love story https://twitter.com/fopdoodlefoe/status/1149271904521478144

https://dykeiel.tumblr.com/post/185406340032/nilman-be-like-i-cant-say-that-theyre-gay-but (claims the characters are gay coded so it's wrong to say they're not gay; includes some screenshots saying the show literally shows the gay experience and saying they're not gay 'erases THE MESSAGE OF THE STORY' and that saying a character isn't LGBT bc they no have no concept of the word 'invalidates closested LGBT people' - they really don't want asexual or non binary rep :/)

bonus points: it's hating on trans people because Crowley presents as female but sadly I can't find that tumblr post. Actually Crowley twice presents as female and once as a snake but can't have shapeshifters or nonbinaries; https://wetwareproblem.tumblr.com/post/186202786356/jenroses-gingerhaole-tartan-thermos is a Tumblr thread including a tweet where Gaiman confirms presentation of identities rather than identifying as a particular gender.

This post lists all the discourse they've seen https://wetwareproblem.tumblr.com/post/185851860776/its-been-kinda-wild-watching-the-good-omens

Gaiman is racist because he casts black/poc actors for some characters but some of them die including Jesus https://dykecrowley.tumblr.com/post/185543533506/dykecrowley-so-now-that-weve-all-had-time-to (note that in the book Pepper was white, as were all the children, casting her as black should be seen as a good thing!)

more bonus points: https://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/1135012833035468801?lang=en (thread where he responds to being accused of political correctness bc Adam&Eve are shown as black and the voice of God is female in the show)

bonus bonus points: https://www.radiotimes.com/news/tv/2019-10-26/neil-gaiman-responds-good-omens-petition/  the petition to cancel the show, which incorrectly was addressed to Netflix, for a show meant to be one season, because its mocks religion

There were more articles/tweets/posts including one saying that before the show cast ppl used to draw poc versions but now they can't do anything about the show cast but ppl should STILL be making poc versions but ONLY Aziraphale bc a demon being poc is bad (see again Gaiman is a racist) but I've blocked a lot of tumblr/twitters for the sake of my mental health, I can only stand so much asexual hate and general discourse and instead go and use the AO3 filters to find all the nonsexual Ineffable Husbands (ship name for Aziraphale&/Crowley) fic instead. However I should start screenshotting things before I block.

There's probably thankfully been more 'it's not queerbaiting, especially if you're queer in a way that's not cis-gay man or cis-lesbian' meta under the good omens discourse tumblr tag, but there have been plenty of comments on various reviews and articles about how it's Not Good Enough and Not Queer Enough and Erasing Sex Erases Gay People.

[hcrcwitz]

     hello friends! my name is moose (she/her, 21, cst) and i yam JAZZED. i feel like i haven’t been in a group in forever but i couldn’t not join this one? idK. anyway. im a messy bih who likes bugs and poutine & that’s abt it. this is intro 1/3 and im prayin im not here writing them all night bc u know i only got 2 brain cells left!!! buT please, if u want to plot HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to u! lmk if u prefer discord bc i can give u that instead!

❝   jameela jamil.  cisfemale.  she/her.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  inaya kaur  with  open  arms.  the  thirty-three  year  old  makeup artist / beauty guru has  been  living  here  for  seven years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  sanguine  &  intuitive  type,  but  their  contradictory  &  self-sacrificing  tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city.

tw: suicide attempt & abortion !!

starting w her background

she’s a first generation american born in manhattan. her mum is from pakistan & her dad is from india & they both attended columbia where they met and fell in love awww how cute we luv some heteros. her mum was studying accounting and her father architecture. they married right after graduation and found a place in manhattan to start their family!!

they had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but eventually they were blessed with a set of beautiful twins !!! dimah was born and then seven minutes later, inaya came too.

although the twins always got along v well, inaya kind of felt like the black sheep. she was never as smart as her sister. she was never as popular as her sister. she tried so hard to be liked and even though her & dimah were best friends, people always seemed to like inaya less.

because they were twins, they were being compared constantly. it was always “why cant you be like dimah? dimah does this dimah does that. dimah has good friends” blah blah blah. it was frustrating bc inaya tried so hard and.........she got nothing. it was impossible for her to form her own identity when she had a sister who looked just like her. 

it went on like this and eventually inaya got used to it and just....did her own thing. she figured she would never be as good as her sister so there was no use in trying to make her parents proud so she just stopped trying and tried to do what made her happy. it didn’t really work. in fact, it only made things worse.

she felt defeated. like nothing she could do would ever be good enough for them. she had friends that loved and supported her but her the disappointment from her parents’ weighed heavily on her heart and her self esteem.

suicide attempt tw !! she was only sixteen years old when she attempted to end her own life. she was found by her best friend who rushed her to the hospital where her life was saved.

after that her parents kind of realized how their words and actions affected her. (a little too late but still) and things started to get better. they were angry with her at first but hearing her explain how she felt and how they made her feel things started to click into place. she was a good kid, really. she never did anything wrong. she hung out with some questionable people but her parents started to recognize that she was just doing her best.

things were pretty ok for the next few years. not good, but ok.

and then, when she was nineteen, she noticed her period was late. it was VERY late. she took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive and she was absolutely TERRIFIED. her parents eventually found the test and absolutely lost their minds. they were okay with her hanging out with shady people and not getting perfect grades but the unwanted pregnancy was the final straw, it seemed.

and just like that, she was kicked out of her own house with no where to live. she ended up moving in with her best friend while she worked odd jobs to save up some money.

abortion tw !! with no money and no help to raise a child that she didn’t exactly want, inaya ended up getting her pregnancy terminated. it was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make and the choice still weighs heavy on her soul though she doesn’t regret it.

she & her best friend decided in their mid-20s that it was time for a change of scenery and that’s how she found herself in lakeview.

ever since, she’s been working as a freelance makeup artist while also being an active member of the beauty community on youtube. though her job is somewhat unconventional, it makes her really happy and she feels very successful by doing what she loves and making pretty decent money for it. she hopes to start her own makeup brand pretty soon that is.....her ultimate dream

ok that got longer than i wanted but here is more abt her personality

she is......an absolute angel. the sweetest woman u may ever meet

the opinions of others are very important to her so she is always working double time to impress people even tho.......it ultimately just makes her unhappy

she’s way better off since she’s sort of lost contact with her parents but she still.......has that uncontrollable urge to please people no matter what

puts everyone else before herself

she’s very sensitive and very emotional. she takes almost everything super personally

just wants people to like her

100000000% the mom friend. will always be texting u to make sure you’ve eaten and whatnot. will over to make u dinner if u havent. makes sure ur drinking water if you’re drinking alcohol and will wake up at 3am to drive you home if she has to

just wants everyone to be safe and happy

wears her heart on her sleeve but doesnt want people to see her sad?? also.....she does’t follow any of her own advice like a whacko.

she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does

doesn’t stop talking tbh. she just.......doesn’t know how to shut up rly

just wants ppl to like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some extra tidbits !!

loves to bake

LOVES doing her friend’s makeup and honestly.......will give u a little makeover for free just because

halloween is her absolute fave holiday the bitch goes WILD her costumes are always over the top

loves horror movies

puts a lot of effort into her appearance. always wearing something flattering w her hair and makeup done. dressed to the nines at all times basically

tall af but always wearing heels anyway bc she is............powerful

wanted to be a ballet dancer but she was told she was too tall so she quit

loves wine

falls in love 12 times a day tbh

my bi queen

she has a pet bunny named clover

there is she folks, sry it’s a lot. but pls...still love me :’)

[princessggowon]

Commentary on ep.10

-They brought back my boy!

-This stage for Going Crzy is by far their best!

-His parents are here :’))))

-THEY ALL LOOKIN LIKE SNACCS OKAYYYYY

-I literally cant understand anything bc no subs :((

-I think Bang Yedam just ranked #1 for vocal team???

-Okay but wait Junkyu is now number 1 wtf

-whats going on lol

-okay hes explaining how theyre divided into three teams: vocal, rap, and dance

-I think they finna fight for the rap position oh shiii

-My baby Byounggon looks so nervous in the flashback edits :(((

-Mashiho is choosing his team now??

-He chose to go in the vocal team

-So they get to choose what group they want to be in okay

-OKAY ITS BYOUNGGONS TURN

-he of course chose rap lol

-Jeongwoo chose dance???? I think?????

-Yoonbin chose rap ofc

-Bang Yedams turn anddddd he choseeee vocal jk that means jeongwoo is vocal too

-NOBODY WANTS TO BE ON YEDAMS TEAM. HOW ICONIC

-O snap Doyoung went to dance

-Rap team is scared of Haruto oop

-Hyunsuk. Dance or rap???

-Lol rap of course

-Damn near nobody is in vocal team bc of Yedam lmaoooo

-Okay Junkyu is brave ofc

-SEUNGHUN DIDNT GO TO VOCAL BC OF YEDMAM OH MY

-Okay so vocal: Yedamn, Junkyu, and Jeongwoo; rap: Choi hyunsuk, haruto, byounggon, yoonbin; performance: Seunghun, 

-Okay rap is practicing and getting evaluated and Hyunsuk got complimented (i think)

-OKAY SO THEY JUST GONNNA START THE PERFOMANCE LIKE THAT OKAYYY

-BYOUNGGON REALLY JUST KILLIN IT

-OH SNAP HARUTO COMING THRU THO

-OH HOLD UP THAT TRANSITION

-YOONBINS ENGLISH :’)

-THIS STARGE LIT OF COURSE

-OKAY GON!!

-HYUNSUK GOING INNN

-They jumpin around now gettin hype

-Did yoonbin do the fortnite dance or am i trippin??

-OMGGGGGG THE PREVIOUS TRAINEES ARE HERE. MY HEART!!

-PRESS ONE FOR BYOUNGGON!!

-I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE JUST VOTING NOW. LIKE THEY DONT CARE???

-im nervous :c

-my heart omg

-okay but yoonbins sideway smile is everything

-the girl calling haruto is a mood

-okay so theyre seeing who came first and that spot is guranteed

-Choi hyunsuk is first rn

-His mom is crying :(((

-HARUTO IS SECOND NOW OH MYYY

-his family is here and THEYRE ALL CRYING NOOO im gonna cry

-WAIT DID BYOUNGGON NOT MAKE IT????????

-HUHHHHH??????

-WAIT?????????????????????

-EVERYONE IS SAD RN????????????????????????

-im shaking rn im upset

-they all sound so sad

-BITCH IM SAD WHATS GOING ON

-dance is up next and I dont wanna watch the rest of this anymore

-but hopefully there is gonna be a twist that involves byounggon

-mashiho did a flip again

-oop so did junkyu

-dance team is tryna do this flying trick and its pretty cool tbh

-okay but i cant even concentrate. is byounggon coming back or????

-okay dance team is starting you already know whats going on (Earned it!)

-oof 

-ICONIC SEUNGHUN

-OOF FUCK THIS SONG GO HARD

-they did the flying trick perfectly :)

-OH SNAP WAIT A MIN, THEY BREAK DOWN IS EVERYTHING

-How could you choose just one??? they were all so good and worked as a team. Like its dance????

-Jaes little thing with the numbers were the cutest

-okay mr. potato man is saying his comments and the audience is shook and the trainees are saying thank you (compliment ig)

-OKAY FIRST PLACE IS MASHIHO (we been knew sis)

-HES EMOTIONAL SO IM EMOTIONAL

-SECOND PLACE GOES TO......

-okay so wait??? they only picked one for dance???

-thats weird, arent they supposed to pick 3

-okay i have hope for byounggon

-okay vocal team is up next! What we’ve all been dreading. 

-THERES TOO MANY GOOD VOCALIST OH MY

-Jeongwoo is making faces. I think hes having an existential crisis because of his competition lmaoo

-you got this bby

-okay but why is yedam so humble. he should know his spot is guranteed.

-okay jeongwoo is not fuking with none of these songs. they’re all english lmao

-jeongwoo literally looks SO NERVOUS :(

-vocal teacher is shook at jeongwoo

-okay but in a negative way ??? (i think)

-jk its a complinent now??? and now hes on the verge of tears

-i think that was his first compliment awww :)))

-THE VOCAL STAGE IS STARTINGGG

-im not ready

-okay yedam starting off strong and yg already smiling lmao 

-his parents are teary aw

-Junkyu!!!!!!

-Jeongwoos mom is literally so pretty wtf?

-Jeongwoo coming thru with that high note

-Junkyu throat is literally scratchy (i already know potato head is gonna say something)

-OOF YEDAM THEM VOCALSSS

-OKAY THEY MAGULATED ! A SISTER FINNA CRY

-OKAY IM CRYIING

-THEYRE CRYING

-THE AUDIENCE IS CRYING

- I think Junkyu is sad or sum shit

-Crowd is chanting ‘DONT CRy!’

-Junkyu is so handsome my heart ouch

-okay theyre voting now

-first place is.......JUNKYU 

-YESSSSS OMG IM SHAKINGGGG

-HES GOING TO CRY SO IM GOING TO CRY

-okay so what about second place

-SO IS IT DONE WTF

-THEY ARE LITERALLY ALL CRYIING BACKSTAGE BECAAUSE DAMN NEAR EVERYBODY LOST

-the previous trainees are giving good luck messages nooooooo :(((((

-i havent seen some of these faces in forever

-okay but wait if that was the final lineup. they a damn lie

-cus wheres yedam

-OKAY THEY LINED UP ON PEDASTALS IN THESE GREEN OUTFITS LOOKING LIKE A SNACCCC

-okay so i guess this is either elimai=tion or whoever makes it

-OKAY THEYRE DOING RAP POSITION NOWWWW

-MY BBY IS SPEAKING

-everyone is literally so sad

-WTF YOONBINS VOICE IS SO DEEP???? DEEPER THAN BYOUNGGON

-okay theyre doing the debut memebrssssss

-OKAY BYOUNGGON LOOKS SO SAD

-ITSSSSSS.......

-MY HEART

-ITSSSSS HARUTO

-CONGRATS

-I guess he kept his place???

-or maybe he didnt make it???? cus no one is happy wtf is going onnn

-i dont think he made it actually guys yikes

-My prediction that there is going to be 9 members

-haruto is eliminated :(

-he did good tho

-okay theyre doing vocal now

-IM THE MOST NERVOUS FOR THIS ONE

-theres only 3 of them and theyre all amazing vocalist

-ok so i guess junkyu has to keep his place by votes or sum sht

-girl its too early to be this sad

-yedam looks sad

-ITSSSSSSSSSS....YEDAM

-okay so that means haruto debuted because it dont make sense for bang yedam not too lmaoo

-this is a rollercoaster of me trying to figure out whats happening

-his mom is BAWLING

-okay yedams smile is EVERYTHING

-HIS MOM IS REALLY JUST CRYING

-GIRL ME TOO TF

-okay the way the edit this makes it seem like they ppl they chose got eliminated why are they doing that

-okay so far they have 2 confirmed members: yedam and haruto

-dance is next!

-doyoung and seunghun better make it or im suing yg

-okay but wait i forgot about mashiho

-okay let those 3 debut :((

-SHUT UP POTATO HEAD

-okay results are nowww

-ITSSSSSS....

-EVERYONE IS SURPISED WHATS GOING ON

-okay i see some upset ppl about the current debut lineup

-wait why is there a list of 10???

- are they debuting 10

-i think this is the online ranking

-junkyu made it first

-byounggon looks so nervous oh my

-fourth place is hyunsuk

-WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

-i dont think hyunsuk is debuting omg

-THERE BETTER BE A TWIST

-okay debut member is next??? I THINK

-NEXT DEBUT MEMBER IS... STILL JUNKYU

-wait yg chose this lineup???

-he aint said shit damn near this whole ep

-OH THERES A PLOT TWIST AND NOW HYUNSUK IS SMILING

-okay wait i think he just complimented him 

-so theres 4 confirmed members rn and theyre all saying bye now

-LIKE HUHHH

-OH THEYRE DOING A LIVE REACTING CAM

-ITS THEIR PARENTS OMGGGGGGGG

-okay again jeongwoos mom is gorgeous

-jeongwoo is crying bc of the video mssg

-harutos fam is giving a message and his mom is crying

-yoonbin is crying :((((

-SO IS MY BBY BYOUNGGON, they cut it short again im not finna play

-theyre showing cute pics now

-okay but yedam is literally so cute

-okay but why did i just get the mssg that yg treasure box is on

-WAIT IS IT OVER????????

-HELLO?????

-THE SCREEN WENT BLAC????

-YOOOO THIS LINE UP??/???

-HUH??//

-FINAL LINEUP: yedam, junkyu, haruto and jungwhan (ig??))) 

-AM I STUPID OR IS THERE GONNA BE ANOTHER EPISODE??? 

[incyas]

ya girl moose is back at it w another child !! if u want to plot with this angel feel free to HMU and or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !!

[ jameela jamil, cisfemale, she/her, 30 ] REAPER by SIA? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of INAYA KAUR. maybe because they’re BENEVOLENT but also LOQUACIOUS. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since DECEMBER of 2015 in 311 and have 1 ROOMMATE.

tw: suicide attempt & abortion !!

ok i just want to start by sayin that this bih is like........a mixture of an old character i’ve had for years and this new concept for a character i want to bring in so she’s like.....a mash up of ideas i guesS so ............i’m still figuring her out a lil but here we gO

starting w her background

she’s a first generation american born in manhattan. her mum is from pakistan & her dad is from india & they both attended columbia where they met and fell in love awww how cute we luv some heteros. her mum was studying accounting and her father architecture. they married right after graduation and found a place in manhattan to start their family

they had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but eventually they were blessed with a set of beautiful twins !!! dimah was born and then seven minutes later, inaya came too.

although the twins always got along v well, inaya kind of felt like the black sheep. she was never as smart as her sister. she was never as popular as her sister. she tried so hard to be liked and even though her & dimah were best friends, people always seemed to like inaya less.

because they were twins, they were being compared constantly. it was always “why cant you be like dimah? dimah does this dimah does that. dimah has good friends” blah blah blah. it was frustrating bc inaya tried so hard and.........she got nothing

it went on like this and eventually inaya got used to it and just....did her own thing. she figured she would never be as good as her sister so there was no use in trying to make her parents proud so she just stopped trying and tried to do what made her happy. it didn’t really work. in fact, it only made things worse. 

she felt defeated. like nothing she could do would ever be good enough for them. she had friends that loved and supported her but her the disappointment from her parents’ weighed heavily on her heart and her self esteem. 

suicide attempt tw !! she was only sixteen years old when she attempted to end her own life. she was found by her best friend who rushed her to the hospital where her life was saved.

after that her parents kind of realized how their words and actions affected her. (a little too late but still) and things started to get better. they were angry with her at first but hearing her explain how she felt and how they made her feel things started to click into place. she was a good kid, really. she never did anything wrong. she hung out with some questionable people but her parents started to recognize that she was just doing her best.

things were pretty ok for the next few years. not good, but ok. 

and then, when she was nineteen, she noticed her period was late. it was VERY late. she took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive and she was absolutely TERRIFIED. her parents eventually found the test and absolutely lost their minds. they were okay with her hanging out with shady people and not getting perfect grades but the unwanted pregnancy was the final straw, it seemed. 

and just like that, she was kicked out of her own house with no where to live. she ended up moving in with her best friend while she worked odd jobs to save up some money. 

abortion tw !! with no money and no help to raise a child that she didn’t exactly want, inaya ended up getting her pregnancy terminated. it was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make and the choice still weighs heavy on her soul though she doesn’t regret it. 

she & her best friend moved to baltimore for a nice change of scenery when inaya was in her mid 20s, finding a decent apartment for a pretty good price. they stayed there for a few years before eventually moving again to mulberry a few years ago!!!!

now she lives in mulberry with her best friend as her roommmate !!! she works as a freelance makeup artist while also being a beauty guru on youtube. though her job is somewhat unconventional, it makes her really happy and she feels very successful by doing what she loves and making pretty decent money for it. she hopes to start her own makeup brand pretty soon that is.....her ultimate dream

ok that got longer than i wanted but here is more abt her personality

she is......an absolute angel. the sweetest woman u may ever meet

the opinion’s of others are very important to her so she is always working double time to impress people even tho.......it ultimately just makes her unhappy

she’s way better off since she’s sort of lost contact with her parents but she still.......has that uncontrollable urge to please people no matter what

puts everyone else before herself

she’s very sensitive and very emotional. she takes almost everything super personally

just wants people to like her

100000000% the mom friend. will always be texting u to make sure you’ve eaten and whatnot. will over to make u dinner if u havent. makes sure ur drinking water if you’re drinking alcohol and will wake up at 3am to drive you home if she has to

just wants everyone to be safe and happy

wears her heart on her sleeve but doesnt want people to see her sad

she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does

doesn’t stop talking tbh. she just.......doesn’t know how to shut up rly

just wants ppl to like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some extra tidbits !!

loves to bake

LOVES doing her friend’s makeup and honestly.......will give u a little makeover for free just because

halloween is her absolute fave holiday the bitch goes WILD her costumes are always over the top

loves horror movies

puts a lot of effort into her appearance. always wearing something flattering w her hair and makeup done

tall af but always wearing heels anyway bc she is............powerful

wanted to be a ballet dancer but she was told she was too tall so she quit

loves wine

falls in love 12 times a day tbh

my bi queen

she has a pet bunny named clover

i probably am missing quite a bit but.........come plot w me anyway :’)

[tayegi]

i have so many theories right now...what if the guys are just trying to win a bet set on the oc? or maybe jk just doesn’t realize he likes the oc and mistakes his own actions as platonic ones? also, as readers, we see the story through the oc’s eyes so we focus on that angst part at the end of chap9, but then again, the oc has stated multiple times to hoseok and so many people that her and jk would never be more. whatever she went trough there, jk could have been trough the same a million times.

ahhhh you guys are the best!!! srsly i am so honored to have so many thoughtful, lovely, incredible asks theorizing about the plot and what jk’s intentions are!!! i would love to respond to each and every one of them, but unfortunately, i am unable to confirm or deny anything!

But i think these are super interesting and i’ve read all of them, and i’d love it if other ppl did as well! MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT: 

Anonymous said:I know Hoseok wasn’t in this chapter but I feel like Hoseok is gonna play her like jk did and she’s gonna be left in the dust with no one and resort to being even more icy. Jungkook has a lot of problems and it’s really evident that he likes her in that way. Fuckbois are really something else man. They get scared of affection yet lead girls on and make them scared of it. It’s like a constant cycle of insecurity. Damn I wish she was with jimin. He would’ve provided all the love and affection

Anonymous said:lmao why is everyone assuming jk will never change and that he’s going to be an Evil Fuckboi™️ forever. like, we can see how the oc changed throughout the story, so why y’all thinking jk can’t do the same. the story isn’t over, there is more to learn, and the oc and jk have more development to go through. anyway, deep in my heart I’m hoping they’ll get a happy ending 💜

Anonymous said:Why do I get the feeling that Jungkook has slight romantic feelings towards the oc but his fear of not wanting to get hurt outweighs those thoughts. I don’t know though I might be completely off😫Thank you for the update!

Anonymous said:I tried reading the story in JK's POV and I cant help but feel as if he isnt the one at fault for making OC cry. Yes, he rejected her but he's known as a fkboy. He stated clearly that he didn't want a relationship, he thought OC knew that clearly. Thus he thought they were just friends. All the things he said was misinterpreted into a romantic way cause people kept forcing OC to view their relationship romantically. I felt that if ppl didnt do that, OC wldnt have developed feelings for him.

carlyangel123 said:Ok everyone is saying that Jungkook hasn't changed at all and I'm not saying like oh yall wrong or anything😂. But I think, based on Jungkook's showcase of clinginess and affectionate actions through the past chapters, that he HAS fallen for the OC. However, bc of his past (not wanting to go through another possible heartbreak), his assumption the OC would never like him, and just maybe insecurities that he's denying it and forcing himself to be indifferent like the OC did in the beginning.🤔🤔

Anonymous said:Nah nah nah nah lu i refuse to believe that everything jungkook did was all platonic but through oc’s eyes we saw as romantic. Im trying to remember everything he’s done for her and trying to see it from a platonic pov but i cant. So here’s my conclusion: jk likes oc but during the car ride and seeing his hand in hers he had a realization and became fearful of being hurt like he was before. Thats why he put his barriers up again CUZ LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE THE SAME JK I JUST ALDJSKAHALA

Anonymous said:Jin was an ass who only wanted sex, cheated on y/n and didn't care for her, many people think that Jk may've gone through something similar with his ex, but I think JK's ex was totally different, she was in fact... the opposite. Possessive, wanted to be with jk all the time, didn't let him breath, etc... That's why he doesn't want a relationship, he suffered the opposite extreme of what the oc suffered with jin, also this would mean the oc is the complete opposite to jk's ex aka why he likes her

Anonymous said:i’m analyzing NR again and just a theory of my own: jk’s relationship with his ex girlfriend started as a fwb type and jk was the one to develop feelings first, and at first it was good and then severely went downhill? this theory is probably far from correct, but i was just piecing together the fact that he hates hookup culture, but is able to engage in it with OC, maybe jk just wanted the physical emotion or OC reminds jk of his ex? anyways i’m enjoying the story so so much! best wishes lu 💜

Anonymous said:Wait so like OC got reminded of Jin when she met JK, so I thought that maybe JK saw himself in OC? Bc sometimes they REALLY think alike.. Idk man I just had this idea.. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH LU HAVE A NICE DAYYYY–❄️🐰

Anonymous said:I've been thinking about oc's relationship with seokjin and jk's with his ex gf. We don't know anything about her except two things: the oc reminded jk of her (as jk reminded her of seokjin) and the "don't leave me like she did" he said while drunk. If seokjin helped oc build who she is and what she wants in a relationship, we could say that maybe jk wants something that lacked in his previous relationship, like emotional support or a caring hand. It matches oc's Ice Queen reputation a bit to me

Anonymous said:Omg jks roues are definitely along the lines of “dont fall for anyone”

Anonymous said:so like, i feel as tho hyejin plays a more important role than we’re realizing. why does she seem so obsessed with jk if everyone knows he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t do relationships? why does she think she’s different? why does she think she has a chance? unless they already have a history we don’t know about...?? 🤔

Anonymous said:Personally, I wasn‘t that surprised about Jungkook not feeling the same way as OC. I don‘t blame him, he was honest from the very beginning with her. At the same time, I cannot blame OC either for feeling the way she does. Hookup culture leads you to believe that the person you‘re sleeping with should not care for you. I assume that OC interpreted the signals from JK in the wrong way, and thought he might love her when, in reality, he does care about her, but not in the way she wants. (1) ☀️

Anonymous said:JK has found smn he can talk to, and share smth else beyond sex. At the very end, I think OC might be the one who will push him outside his shell but not necessarily be the one he will fall in love with. (2)☀️

Anonymous said:I feel like oc and Jungkook might be on the same wavelength but because Jungkook clearly hasn’t gotten over his ex and whatever happened he might be pushing oc away. Plus the fact he even wants to stay friends with her is quite sweet in itself. It shows he genuinely cares about her, but probably isn’t ready to have any sort of relationship. You haven’t mentioned him having any female friends either so all of that skinship he does with oc might just be his way of being friendly??

Anonymous said:I feel like Jungkook is not over his ex and maybe he will end up with her, maybe he really does like the OC for the sex and the friendship. That's all.

Anonymous said:What if JK still likes his ex? :O

Anonymous said:Hummm sometimes I feel like in the end they're just going to be experiences for each other. I mean the OC and JK, maybe they will have none relationship at all, not friendship nor fuck buddies nor bf and gf...

dodoesdidwill said:Hyejin's line "You are really good at skating. I'm amazed" what? No way he was practicing after OC took him to skate, right? There must be something we don't know yet...

Anonymous said:Ok, if "New Rules" has taught me anything, it's to NOT judge a book by its covers. I judged Mijoo too harshly & things weren't as they seemed. Not repeating the same mistake with Kook. He was obviously hurt by someone in the past, just like the OC. Sooo... Maybe OC is not the only one with new rules? Maybe Kook was so hurt, one of his rules is to not fall in love again, or to ever put himself in a vulnerable position to be hurt again? Idk but I don't think he's that much of a dickwad

Anonymous said:Okay, so you said that we've been seeing JK through the OC's perspective and that we need to sort through the facts and her assumptions. What the anon who talked about JK having FWBs for the intimacy said really made sense to me and I thought about the fact that, if my memory serves me correctly, we've only seen JK with the OC. We have no way of knowing how he's acted in other FWB relationships. Maybe this is how he's been with all of them??? I dunno.

Anonymous said:i think new rules! jk likes OC too. this thing going on between them isn't just platonic. but the problem is, he really doesn't want to invest in a relationship, as some sort of defense mechanism (kind of like repression maybe?) i can't wait to find out more about his past and see exactly how it's correlating with his actions rn. I'm super hooked in your story lu! you never fail to deliver as always 💜

Anonymous said:I think jk is just as scared of what he feels for oc as oc is scared of what she feels for jk. Like I think oc already went through a ‘I need to protect myself from my feelings for him’ phase and I think jk is going through that now after their time at the hotel. I think he realized that he likes her a lot more than he realized and after coming back he’s trying to shut his feelings so he doesn’t go through whatever happened with his ex again

Anonymous said:JK said he hated hookup culture yet he partakes in it. My theory is that he might've done the same as OC has now done. Maybe had a sort of fwb relationship with his ex and subsequently fell for them, and they broke his heart. But again, idk if that's enough for someone to want to abstain from romantic relationships forever, though it does depend on the person. I'm probably wayyyy off but it's worth a shot :')

[misterbitches]

unpop opinionz abt bl or just my opinions. that may or may not be popular. stream of consci. no one has to care or read. i will  do this whenever i like or when i am drunk and/ or high. like now. i do tharntype + sotus, uwma, lbc, and MODC...and long ass writing and spoilers so if u stumble it aint my problem

tharntype:

some user on here blocked me cos i said rape is bad*. and it is. and it’s stupid. and not done right it has no place in these writers, who really cannot write, or producers hands. it’s easy for people to judge it because it allows itself to be judged. and bl doesn’t fix its own issues. it just keeps perpetuating. when you gain an ounce of respect for women mayhaps that will change and we fuck up all that misogynist shit in our brains (FREE YR MIND)

but anyways i skipped til like ep 6. i barely know what the storyline is and id ont care. it isnt that interesting. they’re not great actors but i like the look of that bigger one. together their chemistry is fun i wouldn’t say like....as deep as i would like but watching them is nice

(this is where the wife/husband thing is relevant. i watched 6 - 13 a lot. so the father saying “as long as you’re not the wife i’m ok with ur HOMOSEXUAL rship then” but it turns out his son was the “wife” and guess what? that’s gross. if you can’t write female characters then leave us out of it.)

anyway i can see why people didn’t watch it. i say skip everything and see how they are together. the skinnier one is not as good w like idk. being seductive? but he’s fun to watch lol. together they are nice. i really enjoyed watching their dynamic.

some of the kissing was a lot but not in a bad way. i think if they had a deeper connection i would feel it more. but i saw gifs of them and piqued my interest and i clicked(footnote 2)

 the actors as themselves and whatever their rship is fun to watch..i read some UNSAVORY things about one of the actors with another dude in another show but whatever.

hm what else....yea the show is ok. theyre not great actors. cute together. sometimes when they kiss there was way too much like breathing jesus christ shut up. they totally could have done some inverted tropes but they didnt bc why would they.

a...c? c-? i give it? maybe that. people who had some criticism for it were right (like me :P) idk why i got BLOCKED cos i was JUST SAYING. rape in a story for no reason or as a startoff for lust is ridiculous. disgusting. i wont ever shut up about it. it helps no one and doesn’t help the gay community (can go down a rabbit hole here, too)

C- (this is generous but D+ seemed kinda mean...)

sotus + sequel:

idk why but i’ve seen some things flaoting around about the light guy. idk if they are true or not. i did not like that. i saw this before i read those tho (abt him not being comfortable)

this is what im talking abt...and this is where gmmtv will fail. but most bls. they’re CLEARLY worth something. they make money. the actors are a draw for others. i am not a thai citizen nor a thai teen so but i am assuming many get popular. this is because there’s a formula that is almost always stuck to. i am guessing that the channel is a public broadcast (not an HBO type) so there has to be more censorship

i LOVE seeing what countries with less production $ or a more current industry, (like in SEA tho ppl hav ebeen making revolutionary art foreverrrrrr don tforget there’s more than dramas) create. there’s less money and stuff and maybe the editing isnt good or a certain way the drama is shown is very particular and not always appealing. i am nigerian, i respect that shit. nollywood is that shit too.

and as people ge tmore $ for prods or more public support they get better (i cannot emphasize how MUCH BETTER SOUND HAS GOTTEN FOR THAI SHOWS OMG dramas in general but)

so sotus kind of suffers from lower prod quality. but also the acting is bad. sorry it is. i like the darker guy (sorry im too lazy to google names but...singto? right? hes a good photographer) and he has gotten better or wil get better i think but. yea. terrible acting lol

also like...u can tell that other dude wasn’t totally comfortable or they just didnt know each other enough. i don’t know. it was very much two guys standing next to each other now like kiss once. the reluctance to show like affection even in private settings is BONKERS TO ME. literally it’s like these men have the most sterile rships and that is suchhhh an issue in BLs, particularly the thai i guess. 

tbh if the storyline was better and if they had more chemistry it would be better to me. i know ppl love it, i dont really get it lol...their kisses r ok...idk it’s like a waste of time. i’ve tried watching it like 1000000 times 

thats all i have for now 

*im oversimplfying. i think it was bc ppl were being harsh. but any excucses people want to use the fact is that....rape bad and that’s stupid ok. but it sucks cos i wanna rt their gifs sometimes but nope lMAO

i know im not wrong so...

lbc, uwma, modc: 

I LITERALLY CANNOT WATCH THESE ACTORS. I’M SORRY  I CANNOT. THEIR FACES MAKE ME FURIOUS OR THEIR ACTING. I DONT KNOW WHY. i am shocked i dont totally hate saint bc i abhorred the character in LBC and like. every ounce of it. i dont rly like taht small dude from uwma (the past s/l?) i just cant w his face, and modc...omfg....the guy was so fucking SICK LOOKING

this is where footnote 2 comes in: if i cannot handle ur fucking face i will hate the drama. the secondary char in tharntype like the highschooler? oh my god i wanted to die too but like. shit. i wouulda watched for teamwin but that was barely there. and i could not get through modc. the couple with the age gap is gross, and i lit cannt look at this hot-ass big guy making out with a stick that dies

i cant be the only one. i didn’t like uwma dude’s face in the other drama he was in either. i like him as a person. maybe if i could see him do something else. ...

oh this is also why the first 2 moons....i hated...pha’s....whole.....existence. his face, his attitude, fuck. maybe it’s the playing up the femininity part of someone but then having them being a fuckin doormat. sad cos in lbc and modc the main love interests i like. but they’re also stupid. and just. god. stupid fuckin rships.

too much emphasis is put on love as The Thing but they can’t even exhibit love the way they should. idk what im SAYING IT’S JUST WORDS

had sth else to jot down but i forgot i may update this and remind meself

[fystarlust]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59

2. what would you name your future kids?~ idk but i like the names Lily & Blue
3. do you miss anyone?~ yes, quite a lot
4. what are you looking forward to?~ seeing my pups 🐶
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?~ usually yes, but it depends on how low my mood is
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?~ generally yes, but some are harder than others
7. what was your life like last year?~ March last year was pretty damn bad
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?~ yes lol
9. who did you last see in person?
~ my girlfriend10. are you good at hiding your feelings?~ when i want them to be hidden yes
11. are you listening to music right now?~ nope
12. what is something you want right now?~ sunshine
13. how do you feel right now?~ kind of down but okay
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?~ a couple weeks ago
15. personality description~ intense, can be bitter & kinda shitty & mean but i do mean well n im trying. v sensitive, v observant. needy af. idk really 
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?~ yes ive kept my mouth shut multiple times
17. opinion on insecurities.~ im guessing this means insecurities in general ? i think we need insecurities, as much as ppl hate having them i think without it we'd be pretty stuck up n not nice
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?~ some aspects of it, but generally no 
19. have you ever been to New York?~ no, part of me would like to go but it seems pretty busy and full on/intense, so im not sure if it would be for me
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?~ Something by Girl's Day, underrated af
21. age and birthday?~ 19 years, 1 month, 1 day
22. description of crush.~ understanding af, patient, kind, always means well, a true angel who always tries her best
23. fear(s)~ spiders~ being stabbed~ the dark~ my mind (deep ik)~ vomiting~ being alone
24. height~ 158.5cm or 5ft2.5
25. role model~ Seán McLoughlin
26. idol(s)~ none
27. things i hatelooool pretty much everything~ people~ alcohol n drugs~ people on alcohol n drugs~ brushing my teeth (the worst thing in daily routine)~ winter~ coca cola~ being bitten by rodents~ poopicking~ liars~ not being able to sleep~ being cold~ my mind (deep again ik)~ talking to strangers~ talking on the phone~ being in situations that cause me anxiety~ anxiety attacks~ anxiety in general~ ordering food at restaurants~ ill stop now we'll be here forever 
28. i’ll love you if…~ eh i probably wont lol
29. favourite film(s)~ Harry Potter, Tangled, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lights Out, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Bridesmaids 
30. favourite tv show(s)
~ The Walking Dead 🙏🏻31. 3 random facts~ i have a scar on my right ear and no one can remember how or when i got it~ i was a vegetarian for a year but had to stop bc it was v bad for my health, but i do want to start again and possibly be vegan~ i've held an alligator before 🐊
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?~ what friends
33. something you want to learn~ i'd love to learn a new language
34. most embarrassing moment~ probably peeing myself in secondary school in the middle of a classroom (no one noticed bc im sneaky af)
35. favourite subject~ in college it was probably Zoo
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?~ be happy~ rescue lots of animals~ love what i do
37. favourite actor/actress~ Johnny Depp
38. favourite comedian(s)~ Lee Evans
39. favourite sport(s)~ Horse Riding
40. favourite memory~ i cant think of one rn
41. relationship status~ in a relationship
42. favourite book(s)~ i havent read enough to have a favourite yet
43. favourite song ever~ Adventure of a Lifetime - Coldplay ~ Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood 
44. age you get mistaken for~ anything from like 16+ lol
45. how you found out about your idol~ none
46. what my last text message says~ 'sorry ill transfer it now'
47. turn ons~ when ppl care about my feelings 
48. turn offs~ when ppl dont care about my feelings
49. where i want to be right now~ Greece, anywhere on holiday tbh
50. favourite picture of your idol~ i dont have one
51. starsign~ pisces
52. something i’m talented at~ overthinking 😜
53. 5 things that make me happy~ my girlfriend~ ellie~ my pups~ my horse~ sunshine
54. something thats worrying me at the moment~ nothing rly
55. tumblr friends~ none lol
56. favourite food(s)~ chinese, mcdonalds, candy floss, spaghetti bolognese, pretty much all savoury snack foods 
57. favourite animal(s)~ elephants, otters, pandas, dogs, all of them 😭
58. description of my best friend~ a literal meme~ love her a lot~ been best friends for yeeeears~ xbox dates~ makes me laugh super hard~ i look forward to our chats everyday~ wish her all the happiness in the world
59. why i joined tumblr~ saw my girlfriend on it n thought it looked cool lmao

[conflictedrabbit]

the funniest part of avpd though??? is that everything you do is so fucking selfish like even the way you hurt yourself is selfish. you don't want responsibility because you're selfish. you keep hiding away because you're selfish. you want people to love you when you havent done a DAMNED thing to deserve it cuz ur selfish more funny, you hurt yourself in ways that also drag other ppl into it (bc they have to care for you) because you're selfish. why dont you do self harm that's more healthy, well because i dont like it and you see i must mope in this one way but thanks it's true all the moping reminds me that im being selfish in my moping you know like when asuka kicks shinji around and can't STAND how he has to broadcast every fucking emotion and make it other ppl's problems well the joke is that he has avpd and asuka's right cuz ppl are more amenable bc he seems like he cant take care of himself also like. avpd is also by definition the one that cares the most about not being a burden on other ppl but they're so incapable that it becomes entirely selfish. it's not really for the other people it's just so you can breathe easier knowing you're not INFECTING everyone with your goddamn existence u know it's like. whew. i dont have to feel responsible over something no one told me to feel responsible about out loud (but i can see it every time they shut me down or find me annoying) "why do you have to sulk like that?! stop being so silent! stop saying you're fine when you're not!!" uhmmm sorry?? damn even feeling bad abt myself makes other ppl unhappy kek selfish again anyway the #1 goal in my life is to stop being a burden on ppl but it's obviously selfish. i dont care what people in my life actually think or believe in. resent me once, resent me forever because i can't change and i make the same mistakes forever so for the sake of all of us i gotta cut the loop. i'd apologize but people get mad when you keep saying sorry because they take it as you being repetitive and not believing them. so much so that you realize that the apology wasnt for them, it was trying to reassure yourself? even when you didnt cause the situation it doesnt matter because you believe you did cuz u think the whole damned world revolves around you sometimes?? do you think everyone really pays attention to you when you walk around? holy shit thats some self-centered thinking in the form of anxiety my friend well have i got news for you no one cares and you think they care and you want them to care but cognitively realize that it's far better if no one truly cared. anyway. say thank you though you dont mean it and then shut all your self centered sorries back down into your lungs because it doesnt help anyone and tbh it's just another facet of how tainting you are? except how selfish to think you could taint people?

[lawlightfan42069]

1)this fandom turned to be disturbing yall only care about shinee sexual orientation and gender when its not of anyone's business. you spend all ur time on fighting over their personal matters instead of enjoying their music and what they give us. both sides acting like what they say is confirmed facts nd when one of shinee say random names or look at someone you act like they want to have sex with them nd yall act that the only attraction is sexual or romantic

2)the side that gets angry of the possibility that shinee are queer is homophobic nd not all idols has to be cis. the side that gets angry at the possibility that shinee might be like girls is weird coz we don't know these idols in real life no matter what they say or share with us

3) as an pan-aro nd part of lgbt its lowkey skeevy for me that shawols are painting shinee as lgbt icons when they only did basic decent things but in no way they r lgbt icons. yall literally could be calling a hetero guys an lgbt icons. I get wanting to connect more with them nd wanting representation but its not like this. actual lgbt people get killed nd a lots of lgbt people are fighting for our rights with little support bc we r looking in representation somewhere else we r not sure about

4) and please don't start with the closet talk bc I know how dangerous for an idol to come out but the idols u think they r queer might not be queer in the first place and if they were we have no right to want to them out too, at the end we don't know their sexualities. what am I saying is both opinions should be treated as headcanons not as confirmed facts nd this whole issue shouldn't have got that big. also neurodivergent idols headcanons should be respected too

tbh i dont even know what ur..trying 2 say by this?? i dont understand how youre like Yeah, Headcanons! but when ppl talk about headcanons ur like no...i didnt mean it like that... i mean it honestly baffles me how you reconcile these two things. if u respect ppls abilities to have headcanons youve also got to accept ppls ability to Talk about them as headcanons?? getting in discussions w ppl who say every idol Must be straight or cis isnt fighting w someone over shinees orientations Specifically, its fighting against the bigotry involved in this line of thinking. arguing w ppl who say “___ Msut be cishet” is not saying “_____ must not be cishet” its saying to question what motivates ppl to say the first thing. its not really About shinee exclusively bc its applicable to every single idol, and tbh every single person. its a discussion larger than any one particular person. i think this is an aspect that a lot of ppl miss.  

also i truly dont know when ive ever acted like attraction can only be sexual or romantic bc i rly have not. talking about how queer idols Exist is not demanding idols be out. its acknowledging a reality that is hardly ever acknowledged. like. ignoring queerphobia is Not whats going to make it easier for idols to come out, discussing how queerphobia manifests in the idol industry is what will. 

it really tires me when ppl pull out the U Spend All Ur Time Doing This, we’re all here for the music!! enough of that!! because while thats true, we all did become connected through shinee through music, a part of being an Active participant in fandom for many ppl is also like...talking about stuff besides their music. we’re here for their music but the Reason ppl blog about them and do shit like make gifs or edits or fics or what have u is bc they also care about the members themselves. their music is a given. i also like mamamoos music a whole ton, but i dont have a blog dedicated 2 mamamoo bc i am not As invested in the band members as i am in shinee. which isnt to say that every stan has to get involved w this specific discourse or even discourse in general, just that stans often Do get involved w non-musicy things in the process of stanning.

why is it that only queer headcanons are policed to this level...why is it only queer headcanons are met w Listen To Their Music Instead ! instead of the numerous other things ppl involved in fandom do that dont directly relate to their music. why dont u tell gif makers that theyre Too Obssesed w shinees faces and to go listen to their music instead. ppl do shit like “boyfriend imagines” for shinee which are 1000% unrelated to their music and tbh effectively function as Headcanons except youll never see ppl respond to that with Go Listen To Their Music Instead! while its not always (although it. often is lmfao) explicitly said, a lot of bf imagines are implicitly cishet and i feel like this is undoubtedly why those are accepted w/o word. bc ppl find being cishet ‘more polite’ and ‘less intrusive.’ when u make being queer a taboo to talk about (whilst simultaneously accepting anyone that talks about being cishet) u are basically saying that it is more acceptable to be cishet, while being queer is something that ought to be kept private. if ur truly adamant that this is about not spending enough time enjoying shinees music, then id like 2 see u come at every single other thing in fandom that has nothing to do w music. every time you see someone say “hey jonghyun would make a great bf” remind that person they shldnt care about something like that and shld instead be supporting shinees music. in any case, you ought to examine what makes u think that someone being queer is taboo to speak of while not rallying against statements like ‘he would be a great bf 2 his girlfriend.’

anyway i agree that ultimately what people are doing is making. headcanons. ive always agreed w this fact? this is a thing i continually say?? its why im not out there to Objectively Prove that jonghyun is gay or bi or whatever. the reason people respond to statements like ‘no jonghyun is not gay hes a straightie hetero’ with ‘no ur wrong’ bc the first statement is one that is Constantly enforced by society and it just functions as a way 2 shut down queer voices and reassert the heterosexual default present Everywhere. society treats straight as the absolute default. this is why straight “Headcanons” arent treated as well lmao... headcanons. theres rly no reason for anyone out there 2 headcanon something as straight?? when its the Assumed Sexuality in every situation?? tbh the only reason ppl are interested in doing that is Denying that idols might not be straight. doing this when ppl are Forced 2 be straight is gross. theres a difference between queer ppl saying Hey, remember not all idols are straight so lets talk about that and straight ppl being all No! ur wrong! he cant be anything but straight so shut up! these two things are coming from different perspectives. 

like. imagine a pie being sliced up. historically, a 100% of this pie has been given to straight people. when queer ppl speak up, theyre trying to take some of their fair share of this pie. saying Hey, queer ppl exist!! is trying to section urself out a piece of the pie when youve been given none. someone saying Nope!! theyre all definitely straight is stealing back the measly slices someone has Actively Fought to obtain and attempting to perpetuate this imbalance. 

im not rly here for ppl painting shinee as lgbt icons. ive expressed how annoying i find statements like ‘king of the gays’ or whatever to be. but also just. saying that anyone in shinee might be lgbtq is not painting them as an lgbtq icon?? its just stating a fact?? esp since a lot of the King of The Gays ! stuff seems to come from ppl who position him as a Amazing Cishet Ally so. idek buddy i feel like youve got to further think through some of your positions bc some seem to be in direct conflict with others.