#not allowed to sleep facing away from him despite the fac tthat that's how i sleep best | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shortqueershakespeare · 2 months ago

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sometimes i think that my sadness and grief and frankly anger about being single is about how fucked up that last relationship was, like i'm coming to terms with things in life and trying to be realistic with the fact that i might never be in another relationship even thought i want to be and that's okay! but i think the reason it cuts so deep is because if that does end up being true, i will be absolutely heartbroken that my last love was such a disaster and broke me in so many new ways adn he didn't even have the decency to admit that it was a relationship until he had to confront his own grief over losing it

#personal #personal post #patch rambles #relationships #so angry about it #it was always on his terms #the compromises were always mine #and that has been true in the past but only at the tail end and when my ex was severely mentally ill #but like even just general stuff #never able to do parallel play #not allowed to nap #not allowed to sleep facing away from him despite the fac tthat that's how i sleep best #if i was falling asleep when watching something he'd wake me up #never texting always calling #which like i like to call #but not all the time #and when i stopped texting we just stopped talking #and he could text another person he was dating #the being frankly cruel to me when saying stuff he didn't like about me because “we're close enough i can be honest with you”#when i asked why he'd never say that stuff to his partner #no man you just knew i'd never leave #the calling when i was travelling #which again i hate #ii like music and podcasts on public transport and i despise calling people on public transport #why did i give so much of myself #and why did so much of it take me so long to realise #honestly he's lucky i didn't live with my mum at that point #she loved all my exes and genuinely likes catching up with them #but i am her kid and i will always come first #and if i'd told her even a tenth of what was going on she would've shut that shit down immediately

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