#not all stark fans are evil I promise!!

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

The thing about Bran's intended importance (supposedly kingship of all no less) is it falls flat as far as this due to the lack of hinting of... what that even is supposed to "do" in the grand scheme of things? The show's version of some totalitarian regime with 24/7 surveillance from the magical King is fucked up, and it's hard to understand what else would make Bran special otherwise.

The only people interested in the idea (and only as surface level) are big Stark only Stans who just see it as "Starks get everything because" and that's as deep as it gets.

The idea of who would have leadership to rebuild the world is too much built on stanning as a whole. The only ones with an actual leg to stand on are fans of Daenerys simply because her entire arc is trying at different things to restructure an oppressive elite based governing only to at this point end up with the realisation that their class simply cannot exist in a society without seeking to opress so they have to go. That's also what we see in Westeros, so both monarchy AND lordship power must be evaporated. So there's that.

But Martin isn't even angling for that as far as it seems (which would mean even Targaryens and Daenerys relinquishing power by the end and all, even if it would be the system she is currently trying to develop to be applied), but angles for a 'King'. One whose power is magic, which makes one think it is what would make him King, hence angling for the show end which is frightening as a form of government. And in the 'political' sense he's a nice kid who means well for others, but that's it. It's just the whole having a nice lord now and then without guarantee for the next.

So while it might be little page time and some unfairness for Bran, outside of people just stanning "Stark supremacy" in vague terms, it's hard to think of why and in what direction people would 'root' for Bran in the specific intended importance of role he's apparently meant to have.

Whew, you sent a big one. So I’ll try to break it up and answer in parts.

The thing about Bran's intended importance (supposedly kingship of all no less) is it falls flat as far as this due to the lack of hinting of.

I disagree. I think GRRM has been hinting at Bran being a return to the past - more specifically, a greenseer king. And even before that, Bran’s royal status has been front and center the whole time. It’s just ignored.

We as a fandom get so caught up with the magic part of Bran’s storyline (though we can’t be blamed really!) but forget that Bran’s book chapters often place his magical arc right along his identity and status as a lost prince. I’m gonna make a bit of a generalization here and say that the majority of Bran’s chapters since Robb’s ascension mention his status as the current heir to the Northern crown. He is the Prince of Winterfell. But not only that, he is the prince of the woods and the hills and the greens (we see this language being used for Bran once he begins his greenseer training). This princehood is actually extended to Bran’s direwolf, Summer. Bran’s princehood extending to Summer is quite poignant too, since the direwolf is directly named to be an opposition to winter, and Bran’s mythological parallels rule as summer kings.

Bran’s magical arc doesn’t remove him from his royal heritage. It only reinforces it. Again, think of how he becomes a prince of the natural world in an almost literal sense. And also the motifs used for his royal status: e.g., when Jojen and Meera Reed swear fealty to him, as their royal prince, through ice and fire (in addition to other natural elements).

The show took the route of placing Bran squarely in the magical arc, forgetting that first and foremost, he is an exiled prince. After Robb died, Bran became an exiled king. The main point here is that Bran is royal! He always has been, always will be. Heck, his very name literally means “Prince”.

And there’s other things about Bran’s storyline that aren’t very clear with the show’s depiction; I’m mentioning it here since people’s aversion to king Bran is mainly the show’s fault. Bran is a retelling of various Arthurian myths. You might have seen various meta on his similarities with the Fisher King, for example. I’ve written before about how Bran is also very similar to T.H White’s Wart from The Sword in the Stone (sorry, can’t find the meta link). Because the show removed the royal elements from Bran’s story, viewers weren’t able to catch that he is intended to follow the King Arthur trajectory, albeit with various twists.

When I first joined the fandom, the consensus among Bran fans was that he would be King in the North (a big theory at that time was that Westeros would split back into its pre-Targaryen markups). The idea was that there are way too many hints about Bran’s princehood, especially in relation to the North, so the only endgame that made sense was for him to rule it. And Bran does have a mini ruling arc in Winterfell in ACOK, which was good ammo for this theory.

So Bran’s relation to kingship has always been there. For years in fact; I joined this fandom over a decade ago. It’s just that no one expected his kingship would extend to all of Westeros. And I think that will be GRRM’s task, tying in why Bran will take not just the North, but the south as well. However, I have the inkling that Bran the Builder’s legend ties into this (and we know that he had a legacy all over Westeros).

what that even is supposed to "do" in the grand scheme of things?

Blame the show runners for this. They do not at all understand Bran’s importance to the narrative. And I don’t think a majority of readers understand it either. I mentioned Bran the Builder above. Well, he’s a legend that crops up sometime around the Long Night. Now we have a new war with the Others coming up, and little Bran Stark is Bran the Builder come again. Plus Bran has parallels with the last hero, who is credited with ending the Long Night. We still have two books to see how things shake out but given that Bran is following the trajectory of perhaps two of the most important legends from the War for the Dawn - one who ended it and one who rebuilt Westeros after - it’s easy to tell why he is important “in the grand scheme of things”. But we still need TWOW and ADOS to see how it all plays out. Remember, we only have a published 5 books, and Act II is barely finished!

The show's version of some totalitarian regime with 24/7 surveillance from the magical King is fucked up, and it's hard to understand what else would make Bran special otherwise.

I 100% agree that Show Bran’s ascension comes with some very problematic undertones, in addition to being totally stupid. But again, blame the showrunners for not understanding greenseeing and Bran’s relation to it. Greenseeing is, as I understand it, nature magic. It’s not just that Bran gains the ability to see through ravens and trees, but he can speak to nature as well. He can even shape it (ref Hammer of the Waters). This is going to be really important when Westeros is decimated in the War for the Dawn, and needs to be rebuilt. That’s why Bran being the prince of the “woods and the hills” and being the reincarnation (so to speak) of Bran the Builder is so important. He can rebuild Westeros. This is a very unique skill set that literally no one else has because once Bloodraven croaks, Bran inherits the mantle of the Last Greenseer.

The only people interested in the idea (and only as surface level) are big Stark only Stans who just see it as "Starks get everything because" and that's as deep as it gets.

I’ll join you in being annoyed with that particular brand of Stark fan (we all know who they are). But I just want to remind you that so many of us Bran stans (in fact the vast majority of us) do not fall within that group. Bran stans who advocate for Bran’s kingship do so because we have noted his Arthurian parallels, in addition to noting his arc as a prince in hiding/exile. None of us book fans even remotely believe in him being an all seeing autocrat, nor do we want him to be. It’s a certain type of Stark fan (again, we know who they are), who likes the idea of King Bran because they also believe in an independent North. I think an independent North (with a separate six kingdoms) as endgame is a rather ridiculous idea, and I haven’t got around to detailing why in my blog. But as far as I’m concerned if Bran is to be king, he will be king of everything.

The idea of who would have leadership to rebuild the world is too much built on stanning as a whole.

Super agree! I think the POV structure exacerbates this issue. So a majority of “who will be king”, “who deserves to be king” is solely dependent on who the reader likes best (i.e., who has the biggest fandom) and not who is most narratively suited for the role. Ironically, Bran is hurt but this because he has a pretty small fandom; by far the smallest out of the Stark POVs. So he does not benefit much from solo stanning. Again, the typical Bran stan does not believe in Starkception. If readers chose to theorize the endgame king based on who is most narratively/thematically suited for the role, wouldn’t the boy whose animal familiar is named to be the opposite of winter and likened to a prince of nature be among the most popular options?

The only ones with an actual leg to stand on are fans of Daenerys simply because her entire arc is trying at different things to restructure an oppressive elite based governing only to at this point end up with the realisation that their class simply cannot exist in a society without seeking to opress so they have to go.

Agree with Dany, but I think you’re also forgetting about a young lord commander whose entire rulership arc was about being a revolutionary in a rotten and backward system…

P.S: Jon stans can be really annoying too (I would know, I am one), but they’re not wrong when they say that he actually is the one character with the most foreshadowing for “endgame king”; he is literally King Arthur through and through, so 🤷🏽‍♀️

That's also what we see in Westeros, so both monarchy AND lordship power must be evaporated. So there's that.

It’ll be interesting to see how Martin’s critiques on feudal structures plays into the endgame leaders. Especially when we begin to factor in the thematic relevance of stories like Brienne’s and Arya’s among the smallfolk, as well as the upcoming war with the Others and how the feudal structure might do more harm than good.

I tend to have a more optimistic outlook tbh. Winter means death, and I think that will also ring true for a lot of the problematic elements in Westeros’ political and social structure. And let’s not forget that we have a bunch of civil upheavals coming up with Aegon and Daenerys both invading Westeros. I think a lot of these petty lords will die either in battle or during the long winter that’s sure to follow, so what’s left when all is said and done is having our heroes (Bran and Dany and Jon etc.) pick up the pieces. I tend to believe that a massive shake up is in the works such that while it might have been impossible for a crippled boy to rise to kingship in the AGOT era, it just might be the one remedy in ADOS.

But Martin isn't even angling for that as far as it seems (which would mean even Targaryens and Daenerys relinquishing power by the end and all, even if it would be the system she is currently trying to develop to be applied), but angles for a 'King'. One whose power is magic, which makes one think it is what would make him King, hence angling for the show end which is frightening as a form of government. And in the 'political' sense he's a nice kid who means well for others, but that's it.

This is another thing that I blame the show for: people thinking Bran can only be an all seeing tyrant. I’ve already touched on this above but again, Bran’s greenseeing magic is so much more. It’s about nature…healing….Summer! I’ve been meaning to write at length about why the resetting of the seasons will fall to Bran, and why that means healing for Westeros as a whole, but I’ll abbreviate my thoughts for now.

Let’s once again consider Bran as a Fisher King, whose very life is tied to the healing of the land. Now, I think Martin is going for a rather “fairy tale” or fantastical resolution to ASOIAF; an ending closer to Tolkien and Arthurian myth. Bran’s magic, as healing magic, is then meant to be a positive. He sets the world back to rights, as a Fisher King would. He quite literally drives the darkness (winter) away, and GRRM has stated multiple times that the Others are the true threat.

In my write up about Bran’s similarities to Wart, I mentioned that Bran’s ascension could end up being similar to Aragorn’s in LOTR (and we know that Tolkien has heavily influenced Martin). Aragorn became king not because of his swordsmanship or his politics or even his royal claim, but because he had hands of healing. And people said that there was a king who returned to them because he healed them. Healing and kingship is really not a novel thing, and they’re tied to medieval understanding of rulership. So it’s not hard to see why Bran’s magical ability to bring back summer, so to speak, can be taken as a positive of him being a rightful king.

It's just the whole having a nice lord now and then without guarantee for the next.

I get what you mean, but tbh this would be a problem with Jon, Dany, etc. Monarchy and inheritance are unpredictable. We can only hope that the king/lord trains his heir well so that prosperity follows with the exchange of power.

So while it might be little page time and some unfairness for Bran, outside of people just stanning "Stark supremacy" in vague terms, it's hard to think of why and in what direction people would 'root' for Bran in the specific intended importance of role he's apparently meant to have.

Hopefully it’s been quite clear in my reply why Bran as king is so thematically rich. He’s connected to summer, has greenseeing magic which is connected to nature and potentially the healing of nature, and he is already royal. Him being a “nice kid” is just the cherry on top.

[octalien]

i have to say looking into the greater masc mlm side of the splatoon fandom is never not funny. its really funny looking at the death grip people have on octavio and cuttlefish, ikkan/quinn and warabi/mash up, and the desperation some fans had at wanting shiver to be male at her reveal (as in. a cis male. transmasc hc absolutely rocks though i fuck with it just remember its a sarashi and binding with bandages is incredibly unsafe <3). hearing that a japanese fan directly brought their grievances about a lack of male main characters in the game is absolutely hilarious. splatoon is one of the very few third person shooter games i can confidently name as having a mainly fem/fem aligned cast of leads and the least amount of creepy and sexual fanservice catered towards a male audience (which is mainly because its a kids game but. yknow. and certain people would love to disagree but it's still significantly less compared to average shounen and seinen). its double funny being a fan of the manga, which by stark contrast has (well, had) a main male cast with only two reoccurring fem characters, but is recently dipping towards shifting those odds with the current new protagonist being a girl who is directly confronting the monthly antagonists herself over goggles (literally love you so much mitsuami silly little girl thing) and current reoccurring former antagonist male characters matched pretty evenly. ive literally recommend the manga to someone complaining about the lack of main male/masculine characters before and they seemed. offended? it was a weird but funny interaction. these fans rallying for a male idol, a very, very small crowd seriously wishing for disspair to be the new idols in the game only to completely ignore big man and make shiver male, counting the ratio of fem to masc agents in promotional art and finding pretty much only one instance of male agent four and currently no instances of a more masculine neo agent three (despite you know. gender largely being much looser in splat3) is really funny when you remember that a large majority of third person and first person shooter games tend to have a manly male cast. like. resident evil is right there. halo is right there. fuck call of duty is right there and i know it's infamous for having a notoriously toxic player base but i promise there's an active and dedicated community online thats much nicer. i have seen it and i have seen things that i regret from them which align perfectly with the things certain fans write from the male characters in splatoon. but instead they choose? to complain about one of the very few mainly fem lead games with minimal creepy fanservice if at all? you all remind me of my cousin complaining about the lack of hot women in jojo's.

[vanasha]

hello love!!

I am a big fan on AO3 and re-read your works always. I am so happy to have found you here!! i hope you are doing well and was wondering if you were wanting to share any WIPs you are working on ? And if you had a link to support you I would love to do so if you would like to share♥️♥️

Hi!! ♥️

Thank you so much, that's really sweet of you! I made a ko-fi if you're interested in that, I linked it in my bio and can do so here once more. But no pressure at all from my side, comments are something I thrive on as well. 😌

I'm sitting in front of a word document right now but knowing me, I probably start two more while slowly finishing this, sgdkjhsdj, so no promises. It's about Resident Evil, a reader/Dimitrescu daughters, but I have a few ideas for bnha planned as well.

Seeing that I write for a few different fandoms and it might not be everyone's cup of tea (or even yours), I put the beginning of what I'm working on rn under a cut. Thank you again!!

The handles of the tray were leaving painful imprints on your palms and still, you didn’t let go.

It was holding on to the metal for dear life or allowing yourself to tremble and you knew the latter meant the plates on the tray would clink. That would cause attention drifting to you, would make you shiver even harder, sweat even more and you’d possibly let the tray fall and then you’d be done for.

Sofia’s body still lied a few feet away from you, and blood pooled underneath her hair, a stark reminder of what could happen should you lose control of yourself.

Her head had hit the wall with a rough thud when Daniela roughly shoved her and you didn’t even understand why. Maybe she hadn’t moved fast enough or made had made a sound or maybe the Daniela had just felt like it, knowing she and her sisters could do whatever they wanted.

[archiveikemen]

Abe no Yasuchika Main Story: Chapter 26

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting┊aikm’s Genjiden Glossary

This happened a while ago…

It was right after Suzaku was exorcized and the peace in Kyōto was restored.

Yasuchika: — And so, the four gods agreed.

Yoritomo: Is that something you can just say so casually?

Yoshitsune: I sure witnessed some pretty amazing things back there but for some reason he sounds so unconvincing right now.

The Shogunate and Rebel Army shot astonished and exasperated gazes at Yasuchika-san as he passed his report.

(As always, there's amazingly little difference between being serious and his usual self.)

Tamamo: Anyway… it must've been hard on you, Yuno.

Tamamo: I admire your act of bravery towards the end.

Yuno: Thank you… Tamamo.

Shigehira: If you got your fox powers back, does that mean you regained your memories too?

Yuno: Yup. I’m grateful for your care and support throughout my period of memory loss.

(Thinking back, everyone here was really caring towards me.)

I bowed deeply to my fellow members of the Shogunate, and my silver hair swayed before my eyes.

Kagetoki: You got kidnapped but found a way to escape all by yourself, I must say you’re a rather amazing woman.

Morinaga: I know right? If Yuno were a warrior, she would've made tons of military feats by now.

Yuno: I just got lucky in my case… the truly amazing person here is Yasuchika-san.

Yoichi: Certainly. At first, I thought he had become an evil Onmyōji who practiced some shady magic… but in the end, he became an Onmyōji who was like a ray of hope. What a stark difference in character.

Benkei: I feel like we got manipulated by him… but ultimately, what matters most is that everyone on the battlefield was saved.

Sueharu: You got yourself the coolest part, huh.

Kurama: I’m sure Yasuchika is one hell of a powerful guy, but for some reason I don't feel like competing against him.

Yasuchika: You’re making me shy.

Kurama: That wasn't a compliment.

Ibuki: Come on now, don’t say that.

Ibuki: It's the first time in history that someone became a shikigami of the Four Gods.

Ibuki: You’ve become a legend, Yasuchika.

Yasuchika: Maybe I can finally defeat you.

Ibuki: I hate how you’re so obsessed with wanting to get rid of me.

Akihito-sama, who had been right next to Ibuki, shrugged his shoulders and stepped forward.

Akihito: I was so anxious, but anyway… I’m glad you’re safe, Yasuchika.

Yasuchika: — Akihito-sama.

(Akihito-sama must've been worried sick about Yasuchika-san the whole time.)

I could tell what they were both feeling from the way they were looking at each other.

Yasuchika: It was all thanks to you that I could accomplish my self-indulgent goal… thank you.

Akihito: Didn’t I tell you that it was my wish too?

Akihito: However, Yasuchika.

Akihito-sama’s smile vanished and the look in his eyes turned serious.

Akihito: The second promise you made was to not die… were you trying to break it?

Yasuchika: … Erm.

(Yasuchika-san nearly sacrificed his life to save mine and everyone else’s lives.)

(He didn't see himself being in the future he tried to create.)

Yasuchika: — I’m sorry, Akihito-sama.

After he bowed his head and sincerely apologised…

(Oh…)

Yasuchika-san suddenly took my hand.

Yasuchika: Yuno-san is the reason why I can still stand here.

Akihito: … I see.

Akihito-sama turned to me.

Akihito: Thank you, Yuno. For saving Yasuchika.

Akihito: And also— I would like to apologize to you on behalf of the Imperial Court. We have caused you a great deal of trouble.

(Akihito-sama…)

I was surprised by the unexpected apology, but I managed to give a response.

Yuno: I was actually the first one to be saved.

Yuno: And it was painful to be attacked after losing my memories, but…

Yuno: Similar to how the Shogunate and Rebel Army have their reasons to keep fighting, I understand that you and everyone else in the Imperial Court also had their own.

(I hope I have more opportunities to spend time with the Imperial Court in the future and get to know them better.)

Akihito: … I’m afraid I’m going to struggle to keep my head up in front of you from now on.

Yoritomo-sama spoke up after a while.

Yoritomo: So, Yasuchika. How do you intend to finish this up?

Yasuchika: Yeah about that…

Yasuchika: — I want to negotiate with you all.

Yasuchika-san looked at Akihito-sama.

Yasuchika: Akihito-sama, are you sure about this?

Akihito: Of course. I’ve already decided to let you make all the decisions related to this matter until the end.

Yasuchika: Thank you.

(I wonder what he’s going to negotiate about…)

Depending on the topic, the Shogunate and Rebel Army’s reactions may vary widely.

I anxiously watched the situation unfold.

Yasuchika: My request is… for everyone here to sign an agreement of nonaggression with the Imperial Court, even if it's only temporary.

Yoritomo: You were the one who broke the trust between the Shogunate and Imperial Court in the first place, were you not?

Yasuchika: That sounds weak.

Yoshitsune: We have no reason to attack the Imperial Court. But we would need some benefits if we were to promise complete nonaggression.

Yasuchika: You're absolutely correct. Therefore, I have a suggestion.

Yasuchika: Why don't we extend the truce between the Shogunate and Rebel Army for a while more?

(...!)

Not only me, but seemingly everyone in the room was shocked by his suggestion.

Yasuchika: When the two parties combined forces to save the civilians…

Yasuchika: Their soldiers must have lost their morale after witnessing those supernatural stuff like ayakashi and spirits.

Yasuchika: What I’m saying is, this war will have to start again from square one.

Kagetoki: Well I can’t say I disagree.

Benkei: It wouldn't do much good to order an attack at the moment either.

(I used my powers in front of the soldiers too… so I don't blame them for their confusion.)

Yasuchika: Both parties suffered significant damages to their forces during this war. Wouldn't it be most ideal to have more preparation time if you were to restart your war?

Yoshitsune: I hate to say it, but you have a point.

Yoritomo-sama shrugged his shoulders and agreed.

Yasuchika: Moreover… on top of me being blessed by the Four Gods, the Imperial Court has also become stronger.

Yasuchika: Doesn’t that mean we qualify as a third force apart from the Shogunate and Rebel Army?

(A third force…)

Yoritomo: What are you trying to say?

Yasuchika: The Shogunate and Rebel Army will have to be wary of our movements once the war is back on.

Yasuchika: A three-way war sounds tricky.

Yasuchika: Therefore, I believe that in order to avoid such a war… the Shogunate, Rebel Army, and Imperial Court should all come together and sign an agreement of nonaggression.

Yoritomo: But will it really go that smoothly?

Yoritomo-sama scoffed, like he was testing Yasuchika-san.

Yoritomo: The feud between me and Yoshitsune is far too complex.

Yoritomo: If the details of the agreement are not planned out carefully, it could do more harm than good.

Yasuchika: The Imperial Court will oversee all negotiations made between the Shogunate and Rebel Army.

Yasuchika: I kind of know both the Shogunate and Rebel Army to some extent, so I think it won't be hard for me to help establish a common ground.

(Amazing. Yasuchika-san isn't backing down even with Yoritomo-sama pressuring him.)

Yoritomo: — You imprudent man.

Yoritomo-sama thought about it for a while before speaking up again.

Yoritomo: The evacuated civilians witnessed the exorcism of Suzaku, and it didn't take long for word about the country's protector to spread all over Japan.

Yoritomo: Because of this, Yasuchika… it would be equivalent to disregarding the people’s feelings if we were to attack the Imperial Court.

(I see. That’s how influential Yasuchika-san has become.)

Yoritomo: Alright. The Shogunate will have a discussion amongst ourselves.

Yoritomo: What about you, Yoshitsune?

Yoshitsune: …

Yoshitsune: Yasuchika, I have a question.

Yasuchika: What is it?

Yoshitsune: What is the Imperial Court’s goal as a third force?

Yasuchika • Akihito: …

Yasuchika-san and Akihito-sama briefly exchanged looks.

Yasuchika: We will keep that question in mind and find an answer to it later. However…

Yasuchika: The Imperial Court will need some time to restructure ourselves after this incident.

Yasuchika: It appears that all the Onmyōji in the Onmyō Bureau have run away… so I think the restructuring will be rather large scale.

Akihito: I agree. If the Imperial Court is to become a central power, we must change the way we operate.

Akihito: During the ceasefire, we will strengthen our constituency and live up to the people's wishes…

Akihito: We shall embark on the right pathway to becoming an organization worthy of having Yasuchika, the country’s protector, as a part of us.

(The Imperial Court is going to change…)

My heart was pounding rapidly at the thought of the future being repainted to be so bright.

...

— There will be a quick meeting tomorrow to discuss the armistice.

The Shogunate and Rebel Army returned to their respective camps.

(Too many things happened today.)

When I was sitting near the bonfire at the Shogunate’s camp…

Yoritomo: Yuno.

Yuno: Ah… Yoritomo-sama!

(This scene has happened before.)

Yoritomo-sama approached and sat down right next to me.

Yuno: Has your meeting with Kagetoki-san and the others ended?

Yoritomo: Yeah. We discussed the main focus points of tomorrow's meeting.

Yuno: It’s already this late at night and you’re still hard at work.

(It must've been tough on him to have to command the war and evacuate civilians.)

Yoritomo: You're the one who worked the hardest.

Yoritomo: — I’m glad you got your memories back.

Yuno: … Yeah.

The two of us stared at the bonfire in silence for a brief moment.

Yuno: I’m sorry, Yoritomo-sama.

Yuno: Even after so much has happened… I still love Yasuchika-san.

(It hurt my heart so badly even though I couldn't remember why.)

Yoritomo: I know.

Yuno: Eh?

Yoritomo: You always did whatever you wished, even without your memories.

Yoritomo: Once the armistice is signed, it will mark an end to your job in the Shogunate.

Yoritomo: You have the right to choose what you want to do after that.

Yoritomo: But as for me…

Yoritomo-sama fidgeted with my hair using his fingertips.

Yoritomo: I feel that it's a pity to give you to Yasuchika.

Yuno: Yoritomo-sama…?

Yoritomo-sama removed his hand from my hair and gave me his usual haughty smile.

Yoritomo: The Kamakura Shogunate will always have a place for you.

Yoritomo: Remember that as you embark on your own journey.

Yuno: … Thank you, Yoritomo-sama.

(I’ll always be proud of the days I spent with the Shogunate.)

In the evening, six days later…

Yasuchika: Sorry I’m late, Yuno-san.

Yuno: Ah, no worries. I was busy treating the wounded as well.

I met Yasuchika-san by the lake.

Yuno: The final meeting ended today, right?

Yasuchika: Yeah. It took quite a while, but the Shogunate and Rebel Army finally had an agreement.

(That's great to know.)

We sat side by side under a shady tree, feeling the cool lakeside breeze.

Yuno: We’re going to have peace for a while.

Yasuchika: It feels strange knowing that all my scheming brought peace to the world.

I found myself grinning as I was drawn to the way Yasuchika-san laughed awkwardly.

Yuno: This is going to be a norm from now on, you’ll get used to it.

Yasuchika: I hope I get used to it fast.

Yasuchika: When that comes, it’ll become natural for me to stand by your side.

My heart ached sweetly as he lovingly stroked my hair.

Yasuchika: Also, I heard this from Tamamo. … You decided not to break your deal with him?

Yuno: That's right.

Yuno: So can you make me your assistant again?

Yasuchika: Yuno-san…

Yuno: I’ll still work as an apothecary because that's my dream job, but…

Yuno: Since you're now the country’s protector, I want to help you.

(Ah…)

My skin grew hot when he pulled me into a tight hug.

Yasuchika: — I’m so happy. Thank you.

Yuno: … Me too.

(I can boldly hold Yasuchika-san’s hand now.)

Yuno: I’m grateful to Tamamo for allowing it.

Tamamo seems to have taken a liking to Kamakura, so he’ll be staying on as a house guest from now on.

Yasuchika: Hey, Yuno-san.

Yuno: Yes?

Yasuchika-san gazed at me in the light of the setting sun.

Yasuchika: I love you.

Yuno: W-why so sudden…

Yasuchika: Hmm there are many things I want to tell you that I’ve never been able to.

Yuno: … Me too.

Yuno: Today and always, I love you.

Yasuchika: …

Yasuchika-san’s eyes widened slightly when I confessed my true feelings.

(I love how he can so casually say he loves me, but get so flustered when I do the same.)

(It’ll be great if being loved becomes a norm for Yasuchika-san.)

Yasuchika: It's embarrassing… my heart is fully occupied by my feelings for you.

Yuno: Do you hate it?

Yasuchika: Nope.

Yasuchika: — It makes me happy.

(Ah, that's good.)

An image of the young Yasuchika-san, who had grown up without knowing love and had a dead look in his eyes, flashed across my mind for a split second and vanished.

Yuno: I hope that we'll have tons of fun and happy memories together.

I learnt that Yasuchika-san had a precognitive dream about my death, and he changed that future.

(That’s why I’m going to devote all of me to this man from now on.)

Yasuchika: I’m up for anything as long as it's with you.

Yasuchika-san’s eyes that were so close to mine had a continuous burning flame of passion behind them.

Yasuchika: I would've done everything possible to become more powerful, but I wanted to keep my humanity.

Yasuchika: In the past… I wanted to protect you with these hands.

Yuno: In the past?

Yasuchika: Yeah. But there were other people who also wanted to protect you.

Yasuchika-san smiled bitterly, perhaps he had a specific person in mind.

Yasuchika: But that’s alright.

Yasuchika: I decided to fight back.

Yasuchika: I want you to stay by my side simply because I like you. It’s such a laughable and miserable desire.

Yasuchika: Even if everyone forbids it… or you get scared, I’ll force you to do that.

Yuno: … I won’t be scared.

Yuno: I’m going to be stronger than everyone else.

Yuno: I… I want to protect you too.

Yasuchika: …

Yasuchika-san touched my face as if trying to ascertain my features.

His handsome face drew closer and…

Yuno: Mm…

A sigh spilled from my mouth the moment my lips were stolen.

(The sound my chest is making… it's so loud.)

Yasuchika: How lovely. You had this same look last night.

Yuno: Ah…

(I got reminded of all sorts of things when you said that… please don't.)

Last night — Yasuchika-san and I had our first time.

Perhaps sensing that I was getting embarrassed, Yasuchika-san let out a low chuckle.

Yasuchika: Hey, Yuno-san. Last night, I tried to “persuade” you in my own way to remain in Kyōto…

Yasuchika: I’m going to ask you the same thing one last time. Just tell me honestly what your choice is, you don't have to worry about me.

(What?)

Yasuchika: Do you want to go back to Kamakura?

Yasuchika-san was no longer smiling.

He waited for my answer with a serious look in his eyes.

Yuno: I…

With the path leading to my future laid out in front of me, my answer to him was…

[thepacksurvives]

Forever appreciative of all the Sansa stans who work tirelessly to offer new views on her character and arc despite being met with silence and disinterest at best or contempt and hate at worst.

Not only must it be pretty boring to restate and write essays on things that are written black on white in the books but they also have to set everything right after Sansa's character assassination in the later seasons of GOT.

Truly, the GOATs of the ASOIAF fandom. ❤️🐐

[jackoshadows]

Hi, so I watched GoT+ am on asoiaf 1 rn and I have a Q about Dany; why is her character so divisive? I read meta by pro Dany fans and its "Dany's compassionate, self critical, a good ruler, a political reformer, frees slaves she'll be a hero at the end" and the antis "shes entitled, vengeful, profiter of slavery, a coloniser and GRRM wont validate a foreign invasion with nuclear weapons; hes anti war!!" Like, wHAt? Surely her character cant be THAT ambigious?! These are popular opposites??

Alright, I'll try to explain this from my perspective as a Jon Snow fan. However, this will be spoilery if you have read only one book. I would suggest reading all the books before joining in on discussions about the character.

It's a combination of things.

One is most definitely sexism. I don't throw that word around lightly having been constantly attacked as a ‘sexist dudebro who hates women’ for simply critiquing a female character.

Sexism in fandom is when female characters are held to different standards compared to their male counterparts. When female characters are critiqued or disliked for doing the same thing that male characters are often praised for doing. Daenerys is subjected to a lot of this which is especially evident in the books because she has a parallel arc of leadership with Jon Snow over at the Wall - the two characters at the ends of the world. 

An example is right there in your ask. GRRM is anti-war and hence why would he validate Dany's invasion - She is therefore in the wrong. Okay. In which case why not extend that argument to every other main character in the series? GRRM is anti-war and therefore Robb Stark was wrong to wage war for Northern independence. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Jon Snow is wrong to help Stannis in his battle against the Boltons. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Tyrion is wrong to use wildfire and defeat Stannis at the battle of the blackwater. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Jon Snow is the villain of the battle at Castle Black.

I think the main thesis of GRRM’s argument in regard to his protagonists has been that there is no good or bad and instead they are all morally gray? Yeah war is bad and most of our protagonists engage in war and they are therefore morally grey characters. I mean, Jon Snow is over there taking child hostages that he has promised to behead - does that make him a baddie? Ned Stark took Theon as a child hostage. Is he a baddie? Our main characters all belong to noble houses in a feudal monarchy - a system of governance that GRRM relentlessly critiques in the books. Are they all baddies?

This double standard is particularly glaring when Dany's battles in Essos is about helping the little guy - the slaves who are under the worst kind of oppression. The WOT5K (War of the 5 Kings) on the other hand was about personal power, ravaged the land and lead to much devastation and suffering. However, for some strange reason when fandom discusses the books and the author being anti-war they focus particularly on Daenerys - that strange reason is sexism.

If you have watched GOT, I am sure you would have noticed those obvious  double standards yourself.

Tyrion standing there making sad faces makes it look like Daenerys is doing something wrong when she executes the Tarlys - two treasonous traitors. However every other House does the same! Jon Snow executed the mutineers at the wall - even a child. After the battle of bastards, he mentions the Karstarks and Umbers having been killed in battle or else they would have been executed. Sansa wants to punish even their children!! But for some strange reason [(i.e) sexism] a female leader executing traitors is evil. That she does so without crying (Something the show runner David Benioff points out in an BTS interview) means she is evil. Jon not crying when killing people = badass, Dany not crying when killing people = evil.

Daenerys in battle with Jaime Lannister to get the Iron Throne = evil. Starks fighting against the Boltons to get Winterfell = Yay! Awesome. Thousands die in both battles - in one battle they die, burned by dragonfire. In the other one they are hacked to death and die with their guts hanging out. In both cases, people die.

The show quickly moves past Jaime Lannister, the Tarlys and their men massacring everyone of Olenna's men and piling their bodies high and sacking and looting the place. However, the show takes time to linger on Tyrion's sad face with the sad music and the men dying when Daenerys is attacking those same men on the battlefield.

I am not even getting into season 8 because it was so, so bad and full of puke inducing sexism that will need 10 pages to outline. I think you have got the gist of why sexism is such a large factor in how Dany's character is otherized and analyzed by fandom at large and made worse by Benioff and Weiss' rampant misogyny shining through in the show's writing.

I mentioned this in another post and I will say again - removing show Tyrion from show Daenerys' narrative would reduce the sexism in her story arc ten fold. He was D&D's mouthpiece in the series after season 5 - there to tell us that Dany was evil for doing all the things the male characters did.

And yes, Nuclear weapons are bad. Nuclear weapons can also be a deterrent and prevent war. Nuclear weapons can also be useful in a fantasy, magical world dealing with an existential apocalyptic threat. This is why I find one to one comparisons like these to be ridiculous. The Starks also have some fiercesome beasts that the author has indicated will be used in battle. Are we calling them evil?

The rest. Colonizer? They should look up what that means and whether it applies to Dany's story in Essos. Profiting off slavery? If one reads the books one knows this is blatantly untrue. Entitled and vengeful? No more than any of the other main characters who belong to noble houses in Westeros.

Daenerys has her flaws, not saying that she doesn't. That's what makes her a three-dimensional and relatable character. It's easy to criticize the character because she does self-reflect and introspect, is sometimes crippled by self-doubt and wants to do things differently and try different options - something that makes her human and real and very well written. Leadership is not easy and she’s 15 in the last book.

The other aspect is a flaw in the writing with respect to the setting of Daenerys' story in the series. She's the only main POV character in Essos until Arya and Tyrion get there in ADwD. And there is a lot of orientalism in GRRM's writing for Essos - meant to represent the East while Westeros represents the West.

There's much to say about how he writes the Dothraki as savage barbarians. While he gives POV characters for the Ironborn with Theon and Asha and characters like Mance, Tormund and Ygritte for the Freefolk, where's the equivalent of all that for the Dothraki? Oh but look, they are eating honeyed locusts! How exotic! There's lots of cartoonishly evil slavers who kill puppies! GRRM keeps otherizing their customs and culture as being savage and cruel and different - highlighted by the fact that we don't have a single Essosi POV giving us their side of things.

I do find GRRM's orientalism distasteful and off putting, especially as Essos is just a prop, a stepping stone for the characters before they move onto Westeros where the real story is happening. That is however a critique of the writing, not of the character. People tend to conflate the two. A middle aged white man writing in the nineties about a fantasy eastern world does not make Daenerys a 'white savior' or a 'colonizer' and it's clear from various interviews the author has given that this was not his intention either.

Daenerys is also the only Targaryen POV in the books. Think about that. The Starks have 6 POVs in the first book. The Lannisters get 3 by AFfC. The Greyjoys have 4, the Martells have 2. The only major house worse off than the Targaryens are the Baratheons with no POV characters.

We see Jon Snow through Arya and Bran’s POV. We see Arya through Jon’s. We get none of this for Dany. The Starks have a home and a loving family. Dany meanwhile is starting off the story at her lowest point - an abusive brother and forcefully married off to a Dothraki. While the Starks then end up losing that security, family members die, one of them is a hostage and the other is on the run - they still have memories of each other. Danerys meanwhile, slowly and painfully works her way to the top. 

Reminds me of a post I responded to the other day, where the OP said that Arya and Jon cannot be underdogs because they are winners (Whatever that means). That’s the attitude that a lot of fandom has towards Daenerys - now that she is queen and has power, she has it easy compared to the likes of Sansa and the rest of the Starks. Ignoring that when the books started Daenerys was in a way worse position than any of the Starks.

This is a fandom that thinks that Sansa Stark deserves to be Queen in the North because she’s beautiful, has good manners and is a Stark. And this is the same fandom who think that Daenerys, who worked her way to the top - with no family to help, no happy childhood, no teachers, no security of food and shelter, who were beggars and on the run at one point - the Daenerys who is currently spending an entire book ruling a city state, making trade deals, dealing with an insurgency and famine, engaging in marriage diplomacy to sue for peace for the slaves she freed, that Daenerys is entitled. Do you agree?

I am a Jon Snow fan and even I can see how utterly ridiculous the fan discourse around Daenerys is. When the show was on, I was only posting about Jon and there was so much anti Dany stuff on the Jon Snow tags I had to wade into discussion about the character. And the more I defended her, the more I ended up re-reading her chapters, the more I ended up loving the character. There’s so much hypocrisy and sexist double standards where the character is concerned.

And I have not even touched upon the obnoxiousness that is ‘Jonsa’ - group of morons who think Sansa is the main character in a book series called A Song of Sansa and Sansa and Jon is secretly in love with Sansa who is going to be Queen with executioner/personal spymaster Arya Stark and her consort Jon Snow who will sexually manipulate and murder Daenerys for his great love Sansa.

Sansa fans make up the vast majority of asoiaf fans on Tumblr and the majority of them dislike Daenerys and Arya or see Dany as Sansa’s antagonist - even though these two characters have no connection in the books and I doubt they would ever interact. If you look at most of the anti Dany posts on here, they will be made by someone with a Sansa pfp. There are posts about how Jon will kill Dany or how Arya will kill Dany, and if you look at their blogs they will be big Sansa fans.

These are the same people who write essays on how Arya is not a real girl or is ‘male-coded’ or who write essays on how Daenerys only uses ‘threats and force’ whereas Sansa is apparently a political genius who uses ‘Soft Power’ - a foreign policy concept - because she talked down 13 year old idiot Joffrey that one time. When in the actual books, it’s Daenerys who has used Soft Power in her marriage diplomacy with Hizdahr and Sansa has never engaged in any kind of politics with actual adults.

Notice that these kinds of ‘metas’ are popularized by fandom bnfs using blogs like asoiafuniversity. There’s this very popular idea that’s propagated in fandom that Sansa is kind and compassionate when in the actual books there are more instances of kindness and compassion from Arya and from Daenerys. This is once again an example of how sexism and misogyny in this fandom has worked to give the wrong impressions of these characters. Arya and Daenerys are seen as more violent compared to Sansa even though Daenerys’ entire arc for two books has been about helping an oppressed population. The mind boggles!

It’s the same when it comes to love and romance. Arya and Daenerys are not considered worthy of love, romance and marriage because they are the wrong kind of girls. And let’s not bring age into this considering Sansa is 11 at the start of the books and she is the fandom bicycle shipped with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

I am not even getting into the slut-shaming and victim blaming that Daenerys gets in the fandom. There was actual discourse in this fandom on how Dany was not a good rape victim like Sansa because she brought up her rape in conversation! Daenerys is somehow seen as less than because she can’t possibly have children - that apparently makes her less of a woman and a bad partner for Jon Snow unlike Sansa Stark who will surely have ten babies!

The worst part is that’s it women who engage in this kind of discourse and the same women who turn around and gaslight the fandom into thinking that Sansa is unfairly targeted because of sexism.

There’s also the usual dislike from the fans of other characters.

There are Jon Snow fans who see him as the prophesied hero and main protagonist, who don’t like Daenerys coming over and taking away main character status. I personally think there is no one main character. IMO, Jon, Dany, Arya, Bran and Tyrion are all tier one main characters, who will work together against the Army of the Dead. [Note: This works the other way as well. I have seen Dany fans who dislike Jon Snow as well and think he is unimportant in the grand scheme of things]

There are Stannis Baratheon stans over on the Asoiaf subreddit who will excuse everything Stannis does - including burning people alive for his God - and then nitpick every single policy decision of Dany’s in order to argue she is evil or a bad ruler. 

There are house Stark fans who hate House Targaryen and see them as in opposition to each other. There are fans who believe in Northern exceptionalism i.e the North is special and Dany is a threat to that specialness because she wants the 7K etc. etc.

This turned out to be a long post. On the whole, the answer to your question on why Daenerys is such a polarizing character is mainly because of sexism. There are other factors like the setting and isolation of her story, the lack of other POVs etc. The main reason though is sexism and ship wars.

[soupgoose]

Late Nights and Early Mornings

Requested: No one other than myself :D

Genre: Slight Hurt/Comfort (very brief, like so little that its barely enough for a tag), So much Fluff, teeth rotting even, One-shot

Word Count: 3714

Paring: HeadEngineer!Mark x Captain!Reader [Gender Neutral], Still written (slightly) platonically, still up for interpretation (but let's just say that maybe Mr. Head engineer is crushing a little but >:) )

Warnings: None :D

Summary: When the Captain doesn't feel like going back to bed, someone else decides to take the initiative. 

A/N: Definitely another one of those self-indulgent ideas I came up with when I couldn’t sleep and decided “Hey this would be adorable”. And thus, this was born! MAyBe, just MaYBe I stayed up a little late to finish this, but hey! Can’t stop that sweet sweet writing grind! Did my computer try to crash multiple times as I was writing this? Yes, but that’s a future me issue.

As always, if you have any ideas or critiques for how I can improve in the future, please let me know!

Happy reading! 

-Soup :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You don’t get to choose if I exist!”

“I don’t know if your evil, or just stupid!”

“I’m going to fix the damage you caused.”

“What did you do?!”

“Captain no! Think about the colonist!”’

“Captain! Something is very wrong!”

“It all comes down to bad leadership.”

“Captain! NO-”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sharp inhale breaks the calm silence that filled your chamber, as your body jolts forward. Your hand clenched the fabric of your night shirt. Heavy and panicked breaths rock your chest, and you feel your lungs desperately searching for oxygen.

The voices and screams of various friends and acquaintances begin to fade from your ears, leaving behind a painful quiet. You glance across your sleeping chamber, studying the assets that surround your bunk.

��Just a nightmare… It was just a nightmare.” You mumble under your breath.

Moving to sit against the headboard, your hand presses against the skin on your face. You try to rub the tired from your eyes, sighing to yourself in the process.

They hadn’t been as frequent recently, a stark contrast from when you had first landed on the colony's new home. Nightly terrors and haunting memories kept you in a perpetual state of exhaustion.

After an exhausting day with the colony, and the promise of yet another busy day quickly approaching, the one thing you were excited for, was a night of good sleep.

But of course.

Another nightmare.

You began to move from your spot on the bed, shifting quietly so as to not wake up the others in the rooms around your own.

To your credit, you had hid it fairly well. That was until you abruptly crashed mid meeting. What made it worse, was the fact that you did it in front of your crew leads and a select group of high ranking crew. And thus, your nights of sleeping in a 1 person suite stopped promptly.

Instead it was traded for a shared living quarters, fit with one large living room and kitchen, and separate rooms and offices for your “roommates”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first person to volunteer was, of course, Mark. No one was shocked by his eagerness to tend to and to room with his The Captain.

Apparently, his reasoning was that he wasn’t a fan of having a large suite all to himself. After having long gotten used to sharing a small living space with others, he felt uncomfortable with the lack of company and chaos which he had grown so fond of. He said that there was too much space and not enough noise to fill it, whatever that meant.

Moving to your closet, you figured that it wouldn’t hurt to put on something else. Hoping that the slight change in your environment would distract you from your less-than-pleasant waking. Smoothing down your hair, you began to look for something more comfortable to wear than the itchy wool nightshirt you and the crew had been given.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next person, surprisingly, was Gunther. Somewhat agreeing with Mark, he too wasn’t overly happy with the general lack of trouble that he wasn’t causing. He was much more excited for the “shenanigans” that the three of you could pull off with the combined free time. A cheer and a fist bump between Mark and himself was interrupted by Celci.

While she wasn’t completely thrilled at having to spend any extra time around the two, she wanted to make sure that someone was keeping the Captain relaxed and focused in this arrangement. And so, she was the last to volunteer.

“The whole point of us moving in is to keep them healthy and on track. If you two are always keeping them up zt night by messing around, and blowing up who knows what! Then that’ll defeat the whole purpose.”

There was an exchange of groans and eyerolls. But ultimately the three of them did come to an understanding. The point of this was to keep you from staying up alone, and this would hopefully add in a sense of comfort to lessen the frequency of your nightmares.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What you decided on wearing wasn’t exactly your normal uniform, but it could pull off as a convincing underlayer if you needed to explain to a bystander. Wearing a pair of comfortable pants and a slightly loose white shirt, you begin your trek to the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Burt, while he offered his full support, did not want to participate. After all, he was comfortable with his living space, as it had enough room for his projects and was isolated away from distractions. A plus was that it was connected to the Main Engineering Plant, which held a large portion of the crucial mechanics and the main power station, through a short maintenance tunnel. He did say that he would swing by often to catch up and spend time with the group when he could.

After no one else volunteered the arrangement was sealed.

Did you try to resist, saying that it would be too much effort and that they (your nightmares) would eventually pass? Yes.

Did they listen to your complaints? Technically? They did in fact hear what you had said. They just didn’t follow.

While at first glance at the situation it would seem that mixing Mark’s and Gunther’s personality with Celci’s would be a homicide in the making. In reality, as long as they didn’t mess with each other too much, everybody got along. At least enough to keep your sanity intact.

Ever since then, there hasn’t been a dull moment. Two explosive-happy maniacs make for quite the party. Various near disasters and encounters with death later, and the four of you had settled in a sort of manageable, but also chaotic schedule.

Their endearing smiles at your laughter went unnoticed.

Over multiple weeks, most, if not all, of your night terrors had taken their place on a storage shelf at the back of your mind. Very few people knew of the arrangement, and even fewer knew the reasoning behind it.

And you came to learn that your crew truly did care about your well being, and were relieved to watch you improve. Family style meals and weekly “game-nights” quickly became a tradition. And even though you never quite caught on, your crew was completely taken aback as they watched more and more of your true self break out of the façade that being a Captain had created.

Celci’s captivated gaze when you would ramble and rant was unseen.

You never did catch Gunther’s pride swell when he got you to laugh and play around with the group.

And not once did you realize how infatuated Mark was towards you when you would smile.

Things up until this point had become, you hate to say it but, almost perfect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The subtle clicks of your shoes echoed quietly down the hall. Many of the lights were off, other than a few nightlights that created a soft glow at the base of the walls.

Walking past Celci's room you could hear a faint white noise machine from behind her door. And a soft blue emitted from the crack underneath the door frame. You stopped in front of it, pausing to make sure that she hadn’t woken up from your movements. She was fairly easy to wake up if someone needed her assistance. Years of having to watch over the well-being of thousands of colonists prevented her from ever reaching a deep sleep.

After a second of listening you moved on.

You then passed Gunther's room on the other side of the hall. The man’s snoring and muffled music made you chuckle under your breath. You knew that you didn’t have to wait around, as you had learned quickly that he could sleep through almost everything, be it a blaring alarm or explosions right outside his door. He really only woke up on his own terms, and somehow always when someone needed him for something. How he managed to get up on time everyday still baffled you.

You continued on your journey, listening to your soft footsteps and the hum of the world around you.

The living room had a sizable nook for desks and cabinets, which is where some of the larger projects and work documents were kept. It was also where you found Mark.

Turning the corner you noticed two things.

One, the door to Mark’s room was wide open, revealing an empty room. And two, there was a light on in the kitchen.

“I’m surprised to see you up.” You announced from the archway between the hallway and the living room. You leaned most of your weight against the wall behind you, crossing your arms in front of you like a disappointed parent who just caught their kid up late on a school night.

Your voice was just loud enough to be heard by the engineer, as he jumped at the unexpected company.

“Captain! Shoot- wait. Um, captain? You’re awake?” He asked, quickly lowering his voice, so he wouldn’t wake the other two. He was embarrassed, obviously. Even though you both knew that he wasn’t doing anything bad, he still looked as if he had been caught red-handed at the scene of a crime. Face completely red and shoulders scrunched up to his ears.

You kept your volume soft as you let out a laugh, finally crossing the room and reaching the kitchen. “Well, you are talking to me, so I would assume so.” You replied sarcastically.

“Sorry, I’m just surprised to see that you're awake at this time. Typically your mornings don’t start this early. What’s gotten you up and moving?” He spun his chair around to face you. His eyes follow your deliberate, and somehow still exhausted, movements as you decide to make yourself a cup of coffee.

You began to speak while looking away from him, focused on the task at hand. “You’re definitely right about that sir. However I really have to ask, what in the world are you doing up? I thought that you had something due in a few hours?”

You could feel his face heat up even more from across the room, “I mean- Yeah… but I just had to get this finished before I could sleep.”

The coffee had finished brewing and a small hiss creeped from the machine.

“Is it the one for today?”

His lack of a response gave everything you needed to know.

“I see.” You poured the brew into two small mugs, stirring in any extra add-ins that you felt were needed.

“I know… I just-” he sighed in defeat, looking back at the desk. Strewn with papers and a small laptop, he looked over the mess he had created in his hurry to finish his project.

“I knew that I had to get it finished, but I was having so much fun that I just kept…”

“I get it, Mark. You don't have to explain it to me. You’re not in trouble, I just find it amusing.”

You smirk, placing the cups on the desk as you take a seat next to him.

“I know you have been, that’s why I’m not upset with you. I know that you have your “methods”, and really who am I to question them. You’ve gotten all of your projects completed by the deadline, and I’m not the first to say that they’ve all been good quality too. I just wish that they wouldn’t make you stay up as late as they do.” You playfully smack his shoulder with the back of your hand. He winced dramatically, causing you both to snicker.

“It’s not like me to procrastinate this bad. I mean, sure I’ve got my moments, but seriously I’ve been really productive this whole mission! Oh, is that for me? Thank you.”

He took a long sip from the mug, basking in its warmth. You watched as his body relaxed, his shoulders and back slightly slouched against the back of the spinney chair.

“That’s pretty bold coming from you, Captain. I should be the one asking you why you're still up, y’know. After all, you never did answer my question.”

You set your mug down against the desk wordlessly. He already knew why, he just wanted you to admit it.

He shifts in his chair, sitting a little straighter and with his full body facing you. He looked so worried, but also so…

You stared into the contents of the mug in front of you.

“Captain?”

Sighing, you look up at him.

“You already know why Mark. This one, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to sleep.”

His eyes reflect your own exhaustion, but also radiate a look of genuine concern.

“Cap…”

You turn away, “I mean it really wasn’t that bad. Definitely not one of the worst ones. It’s just…frustrating. After not having one for a while, it bugs me that they come back when I need to sleep the most.”

Comfortable.

He reached out with an arm, placing his hand over yours. While surprised by his forwardness, you didn’t move your hand away. “Cap, you know you can talk to me about these things. That’s part of the reason I’m here after all.” His thumb began to gently caress the back of your knuckles.

You huff jokingly at him, looking at your hands. You take a second to consider his offer. “I know, I know.”

You feel the bags under your eyes grow heavier, despite having the caffeine from the coffee running through you.

“Of course.”

“I think-” you feel his hand tighten a little around your own, “It is was it is, y'know? But, thank you, Mark. You've helped me a lot.”

You know that's not what he wanted to hear, but he doesn't continue to pry. “Alright Cap, you know I’m here when you feel up to it.”

You couldn’t help from teasing him from time to time. At the beginning of the arrangement, you figured out that you could easily make him flustered, and you’ve been using it against him ever since. Never enough to make him upset with you, not seriously at least, but just enough that it still had a similar effect every time, and always caught him off guard.

“Well?” You spoke suddenly, and a mischievous grin formed.

“Well what, Captain?”

“You said that was only part of the reason”

“Yes? What are you-”

“Mind telling me what that other reason might be?”

He caught on to what you might have been suggesting, stuttering and blabbering as he desperately tried to find the right words.

You wouldn’t call yourself a natural flirt, not even a good one, but over the years it was just one of those random things that you had picked up.

You enjoyed the close, comfortable, moments that the two of you shared. Sure you had spent time chilling out with the others. But something about these moments with Mark just felt different.

You were still laughing to yourself as he looked away, the other hand subconsciously moving to the back of his neck. His offense wasn’t true, as if you could ever really hurt his feelings, but it was still amusing to watch.

Your smile falters for a moment as the warmth from his hand leaves your own. A blush began to collect at the top of your ears shortly after.

A good kind of difference.

You suddenly yawn, feeling the tiredness pulling effortlessly at your eyelids.

“Damn…” you chuckle.

“Well Cap, I think that’s a clear enough sign that you should go back to sleep.” He spoke, his confidence coming back to him.

“Never.”

“Wha? Captain, what?” He asked breathlessly, taken aback by your sudden stubbornness.

“Nope. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” You add a dramatic flare to your statement.

You were half joking, you knew that you really should go back to sleep, but you weren't ready to, not yet at least.

“Come on Cap’n, you really need to get some rest-”

“So should you. Did you think that you were going to get off the hook that easily?”

“...Seriously?”

The cocky expression you wore said it all.

“So, you’re not going back to sleep until I finish this?”

“Yup.”

It takes you both a second before you make it over to the couch, and only then do you realize a crucial flaw in your plan.

Mark grew a smirk of his own, “Oh really?”

“Yup.”

“I bet you, 10 bucks, that you won’t be able to stay awake for more than 20 minutes.”

“Alright. You’re on. I bet you 15 that I can.”

“Oh I see how it is. I’ll raise you 15, if you can stay awake, while sitting on a couch, you win.”

You felt your confidence fall for a moment, “...Ok, fine, but only if you're sitting with me. It wouldn’t be fair having me sit behind you, just listening to you work.”

He thinks for a second, “Alright then, okay. Game on, Captain.” He sticks out his hand towards you.

“Game on, Engineer.” And with a firm handshake, the game began.

The couch is really only wide enough for two people sitting practically on top of one another.

“Oh crap…” you think to yourself.

“Well then, I guess this is a little trickier than you thought, huh Captain~”

He was way too comfortable with this. Being the fact that you and him were squeezed in right up against each other.

“Of course not!” you bluffed looking away from him, “I just forgot how tiny this seat is. I guess it’s really more of a loveseat, than a full couch.” You tried to force out a relaxed chuckle, but it came out sounding strained and nervous than you would have liked. You could feel his eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

“If you're uncomfortable with being this close to me I can move. I guess it would mean that you’d lose, but your comfort is a higher priority to me.” He spoke softly, leaning in a little closer. He lingered there for a moment, before chuckling to himself and retreating to his half of the seat.

It's a good difference, even though it's unfamiliar.

It's not exactly you being uncomfortable that was the problem.

No. It’s the fact that you are extremely comfy. Like the comfort from just him having his hand on top of yours. Just, multiplied by 1000, and over a larger surface area.

You wait for the red that covers your cheeks to dissipate slightly before you cough up a response. “I’m not going to lose to your cheating games, Mark. You can try all you like, but I am in no way-”

When you do look back at him, you find that he’s practically glowing as he’s looking at you. Eyes half lidded, and his cheeks are only a little more red than your own.

“Going…to-”

The way that he smiles at you makes your heart stutter. He looks at you like you're the only thing that matters.

“Lose.” Him throwing back the same style of teasing back at you was one thing. But how he was looking at you, was something completely unexpected.

“I’m intrigued”

He’s thinking about something. The way his eyes flicker over your features

“I’ll bring it back down to 10 if you let me try something.” Smile still mischievous, but with a layer of something else. Something gentler.

“Can you stand up for a sec? It involves a little bit of moving…”

You nod, standing up. This wasn’t exactly what you were expecting, but you're curious to see what his plan is.

Both of your cheeks are glowing brighter than before. However, he still looks so content and focused in the moment.

He sets his laptop down on the side table next to him. He moves over so that he's leaning more into the corner of the couch. One of his legs is placed across the back, while the other is draped over the edge and his foot is resting on the floor.

Once he finds a seemingly comfortable position, he pats at the little bit of couch in front of him.

Once you sit down, he beams, “come’er you!”, pulling you flush to him.

“It was a trap!” you yelp, trying to squirm against his hold on you. The two of you tried to suppress a laughing fit, but eventually it couldn’t be helped. You eventually relaxed against him, still snickering as you caught your breath.

His arms are wrapped tightly around you, and your chest is pressed against his own.

You can feel his heartbeat, and his body relaxing around you.

You thought about trying to resist, but his voice interrupts that train of thought.

You begin to feel your own heart calming down, your breathing returns to its natural cadence.

Your eyes droop slightly, and there's now a significant amount of effort in staying awake.

“Comfy?” He asks, still wearing a smirk, but more endearing than before.

“Mhm..” You mumble against him, burying your face into the top of his chest, your crown resting just above his collarbone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll drop it down to 5 if you let yourself relax…”

He could feel you trying to fight sleep. And in reality, he knew from the start that it wouldn’t take much effort to get you to sleep, but he didn’t expect to fall for his own trap.

You look up at him, “As long as the next time this happens I don’t find you awake like this again..”

He chuckled, “You drive a hard bargain.”

“Counter offer, how about I’ll just ask you for this the next time, so you don't have to deal with my stubbornness?”

“But I like dealing with you.”

You smile, letting your mind slip into the warmth that surrounds you.

You felt his laugh reverberate through his chest, and the hum of his voice hit your ears. “I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Gunther and Celci stumbled in on an adorable scene. Mark and the Captain were cuddled together.

Mark had his face buried into the top of their head, meanwhile the Captain had their ear pressed firmly against his chest.

“Would ya look at that”

Gunther whispered, moving across the living room, finding the almost empty mugs on the desk. Looking back at Celci, he smirks.

“Seems like someone owes me 20 bucks.”

“fine…”

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Expectations vs. Reality: Anime

Demon Slayer

Expectation: Hardcore horror series about evil monsters

Reality: Really good boy must protect his incredibly cute demon sister with the help of his friends, the whiny blonde guy and the funny animal man who yells all the time. Lots of found family goodness.

--------------------------------------------

Naruto

Expectation: A coming-of-age series about an outcast who must defy the odds to become the best

Reality: ...so then our main protagonist learns that he's actually the descendant of an alien god, thus making him part alien. Also, he was born to an amazing lineage, which directly contradicts the whole outcast image that the protagonist started off with.

--------------------------------------------

Dr. Stone

Expectation: Harsh drama about humans rebuilding society

Reality: Hey kids! Welcome to Senku's educational series about how to survive in the wild! Get your notebooks out because today, we're learning how to make gunpowder! Also, how to turn salt water into fresh water!

--------------------------------------------

Cells at Work

Expectation: Cute educational series about the human body!

Reality: Your body is a nightmare. It's constantly fighting off viruses that can either kill you or hurt you severely. Also, it turns out your body is a dictatorship, killing anything that doesn't comply with its standards. If a cell is out of line or born wrong, it's immediately sent for execution.

--------------------------------------------

Asobi Asobase

Expectation: Cute, slice-of-life comedy about teenage girls!

Reality: "Hey guys, I dare you to dare me to stick this baseball bat up my butler's ass!" "Hahahaha, I'd love to see that shit!" "NO, DON'T STICK THAT UP MY ASS!"

--------------------------------------------

The Promised Neverland

Expectation: Orphan kids must expect the orphanage

Reality: Well...you get what you were expecting. But in addition, you develop trust issues and a fear of nuns.

--------------------------------------------

Black Clover

Expectation: Magic and swords!

Reality: A coming-of-age series about an outcast who must defy the odds to become the best...wait a minute, this sounds familiar...

--------------------------------------------

Usagi Drop

Expectation: Cute series about a single dad trying to raise his kid!

Reality: The expectation is the same as reality...no, there's no manga here, what are you talking about? Stop talking about a manga, there IS NO MANGA.

--------------------------------------------

My Hero Academia

Expectation: Superheroes!

Reality: A coming-of-age series about an outcast who must defy the odds to become the best-wait, what? Again with this? Oh come on, there has to be a difference between this and Naruto. (MHA fans whispers in my ear) Oh, so the main villain gets arrested? Well...I guess that's original. The main bad guys in Naruto either die or get redeemed.

--------------------------------------------

Jormungand

Expectation: Metal Gear Solid, I think?

Reality: Well, it really is Metal Gear Solid, specifically the 4th game. But it's Metal Gear Solid if the main protagonist was a pedophilic Harley Quinn who got fused with Tony Stark.

--------------------------------------------

RWBY

Expectation: Anime girls saving the world!

Reality: Dark fairy tale drama about the world ending and how the world must be saved by this girl with magic eyes and this guy who is the current reincarnation of an ancient warrior. Also, people are racist towards half-animal people.

--------------------------------------------

Avatar the Last Airbender

Expectation: Legendary hero must save the world!

Reality: Expectation is the reality. But that being said, people care more about the first season villain's redemption arc.

--------------------------------------------

The Legend of Korra

Expectation: More Avatar the Last Airbender!

Reality: An in-depth look at a hero battling the ideologies of communism, theocracy, anarchism, and fascism. You can basically call this series, "The Legend of the Centrist".

[nikoruistyping]

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader, married couple trying to conceive a baby. Tony is dying to be a father e he really wants to put a baby inside his wife's belly 🥵

We need more smut and fluff with this man and your writing is fucking amazing, girl

The Relaxing Shower || Tony Stark

Tony Stark x Wife!Fem!reader

Summary: After yet another failed attempt at trying to conceive for a baby with your husband Tony, he makes one last suggestion that involves you, him and a very hot shower together...

TW: Small bit of Fluff, Just a Small Sprinkle of Angst, Lots of Smut, Adult Language/Swearing, Dirty Talk, Kissing/Making Out, Fingering (Kinda), Vanilla Vaginal/Shower Sex, Praise Kink (Kinda?), Nudity, Playful Banter/Jokes, Established Relationship, Aftercare, Mention of Failed Conception, Mention of IVF Treatment, Talking about Pregnancy Tests (Failed ones T_T)

Word Count: 2,900

A/N: Thank you Anon for the request! I really enjoyed writing this and hopefully you like it! This took me two days to write and edit for some odd reason because idk why but I got a bit too involved with the whole plot line of this request XD also side note is that THERE IS NO BREEDING KINK IN THIS! I personally am not a fan of the kink but to each their own I just wanted yall to have a heads up that this fic is safe to read if your uncomfy with that specific kink because so am I!

This was already the third test this month you were taking and now it was just time to wait. Having to wait three painful minutes to see the results of probably yet again another negative test. You and Tony have been trying to conceive for quite some time now but every time was sadly a failed attempt in getting pregnant. There was nothing wrong with you or him at all, if anything you both were healthy and also a very sexually active married couple. For some reason, the timing was never right or you would miss your ovulation window by a slim chance. You were starting to slowly give up on the dream of creating a family with him and you wondered if this was the universe's way of telling you that maybe having kids just wasn't for you.

You sat on the toilet seat cover, your leg bouncing uncontrollably, waiting and waiting, drumming your fingers against your thigh. You couldn't stop staring at that evil pink line staring back at you, laughing at your face. You tried looking away to distract yourself but all you could seem to do was just become more anxious by the minute and hope that today would be the day that two pink lines would appear instead of a measly one.

You heard the timer on your phone beeping and going off, you quickly scrambled to grab the test off the bathroom counter and when you looked at that single line your face fell completely flat. Negative. You dragged yourself out of the bathroom with the test in hand and you made your way over to the living room where you saw Tony studying, moving pieces of the hologram he was working on back and forth, reading and studying some of the new technology for his suit. He quickly popped out of his seat on the sofa when he saw you walk in and his steps got quicker walking over to you flicking off his reading glasses.

"So what was the result of the evil pee stick?" He said with a chuckle trying his best to always lighten up the mood with his playful demeanor.

"Negative...again." You said with a sigh, holding up the test for him to see. You buried your head in his chest as yet again you were at your limit and defeated because of how tired you were of always being let down.

"Oh, sweetheart I'm sorry...I really am," He said to you hugging you close, his hand cradling your head close to his chest and just embracing you.

"We are going to keep on trying, I promise. I don't care how long it takes we are going to have a baby," He raked his fingers through your hair trying to calm you down when you started to sob into his chest and that just made him want to hold you closer.

"You know we can still explore our options. I've been reading up on IVF and the results look promising-" He was cut off mid-sentence when you pulled your head away, looking up at him, your arms wrapping around his torso.

"I'm just tired, Tony...I know there are other options but I really wanted us to have this baby ourselves without any help and I don't think I can go through another disappointment even with help." Your voice was on the edge of breaking because of how sad and hard it was just to get pregnant. How was it that so many people it was so easy and for you, it was such a difficult process?

"Don't worry sweetheart, we are going to get through this together. I have a feeling that soon we will get there. Rome wasn't built in a day remember?" His hands went to cup your face as he looked deep into your sad eyes knowing that this was hard for him but even harder on you.

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life, Tony?" You questioned trying to crack a smile to show him everything was fine.

"Now that I don't have an answer for but what I do have an answer for is that I know exactly what will cheer you up." He said grabbing your hand and leading you in the direction of the bathroom once again.

"Tony what are you even talking about-" You finally got the idea when you both were in the bathroom and you looked towards the very large and luxurious shower that was big enough to fit probably a whole party of people in.

"A shower?" You questioned, your eyebrow-raising at him as he turned around to face you, holding your hands.

"Yes, we are going to save some water. The water bill was extremely high last month." He said with a chuckle, a small smirk following it as he started to already unbutton his dress shirt but you had stopped his fingers halfway, taking over unbuttoning the rest for him and helping him shimmy it off his shoulders.

"Is that your subtle way of inviting me to join you?" You asked, your hands placing themselves on the nape of his neck while they slowly slid down his now naked torso, your fingers dipping into his collarbones, tracing over his pecks and ghosting over his abs as your hands found themselves on his hips.

"Call it whatever you want sweetheart but I guarantee you will feel so much better after a relaxing shower with yours truly." A smirk grew across his lips while his hands found your waist, his fingers teasing at the bottom of your shirt until he was able to pull it over your head and fling it into the laundry basket.

"That's definitely an invitation I can't turn down then." You bit your lip in response as your fingers started to tease with his belt buckle, unbuckling it as you pulled down his pants for him and he kicked them off to the side.

Before he could reach to take your pants off for you, you backed away teasing him, slowly undoing your pants yourself. He continued to stripe himself of his socks and boxer briefs while you flung your bra and panties into the laundry hamper and you looked over your shoulder to see him already entering the shower and putting on the water to heat it up. You tried covering as much of your body as you could with your arms crossing your body and keeping your legs as closed as possible. For some reason even though you had both seen each other completely butt naked before you always wanted it to still be tasteful and somewhat of a reveal when he saw you completely naked.

You slowly entered the shower and made sure to slide the glass door closed. You saw Tony's back facing you, the water falling over his body and dripping down his skin. You came up behind him, your arms wrapping around his torso, your hands placing themselves on his chest and you pressed your naked body up against his, breasts pushing into his back. Water now was falling over both of you and your hair was slicked back as it flowed down your shoulders.

"Hey there Mr. Stark." You managed to whisper into his ear and the minute he heard your voice he turned around to face you.

"Hello there Mrs. Stark," His voice was low and whispered as the space between you both was only closing the closer you got.

"Ladies first..." He trailed off grabbing the shampoo bottle off the shelf and squirted some into the palm of his hand and his fingers slowly raked through your hair, working their magic while slowly massaged your scalp. You hummed happily in response as the feeling felt so relaxing and therapeutic.

His hands rinsed out the soap suds while your hands had instinctively placed themselves on his hips making sure he stayed close to you. His touch was so caring and gentle with you, he had you in the palm of his hands (literally). He reached for the body wash and started with your neck, massaging the knots that seemed to be stuck in between your neck and shoulders traveling down to your collar bone. A stray moan escaped your lips as he traveled down further, both his hands cupping your breasts unexpectedly and sliding over your torso until he reached your hips. His grip seemed to have gotten harder as he kept on going, pressing lightly into your thighs, squeezing the flesh there. Tony took you by surprise by grabbing and turning you around quickly and starting again at the top, hands going down your back, tracing patterns into your shoulder blades and ghosting down your spine. His hands landed on your ass and squeezed rather harshly as he seemed to be kneading it softly. His hands went back to your hips and he suddenly pulled you closer to him, your ass was right up against his hips and the both of you were now underneath the showerhead, water rinsing you off.

"Are you starting to feel more relaxed now?" He asked leaning in closer and whispering in your ear from behind. 

You could feel him flutter kisses on your shoulder, his hands gliding along your hipbone, teasing you as they traveled towards the direction of your inner thigh but then pulling away when he was close to your heat, your legs were clenching up at the dirty thoughts building up at what he could do with those skillful fingers of his.

"I think...I-I'm far from relaxed right now..." Your voice could barely get out, you were already crumbling by his touch.

"Really? I wonder why? How about you tell me, sweetheart." He said while his hands made their way back up to your breasts, cupping them from behind and his thumb flicking over your nipple which made you bite your lip in response to hold in a moan.

"Ah...Tony I-" Was all you could manage to say as you felt him press up against your body harder, taking a few steps forward until your front was flushed against the shower tiles, your hands going up to press against the wall to keep your balance.

"I can't help you sweetheart if you don't tell me what you need." His breath seemed to be hotter than the water and steam in the shower. He continued to whisper to you and your head was flushed against the shower tiles, your neck turned completely to the side so you could see him in your peripheral vision.

"Please...I want you..." You managed to say and you could already feel his hard cock teasing you from behind, the head slipping and sliding through your folds. You were desperate to just have him be inside you, your hips grinding on him rolling back.

"Fuck-" You heard him curse under his breath.

He wasted no time thrusting into you, a moan escaping your lips as you took his whole length. You gripped onto the shower wall for dear life, keeping your neck turned wanting to watch as he fucked you, moving slowly in and out. He leaned in closer kissing your lips hungrily and he tried steadying the both of you with his hands on your hip making sure to keep the rhythm going as he thrusted hard and faster into you. His other hand made its way down slowly to your front, sliding down your thigh and going to rub your clit which drove you completely over the edge. Your lips kept crashing against his while the both of you tried to move and kiss at the same time, grunted moans escaping both of your lips as you felt him pound into you.

His kisses were ravenous and you could feel your legs go weak but his hands held you steady and close to him the faster he went. Long strokes of his tongue against yours, teeth catching your lips in bites, groans, and moans caught in one another's mouths and swallowed up as the water cascaded over both your bodies. Your loud moans echoed against the shower walls as his groans got louder between the gasps of air you both took for air.

"I'm so close..." He managed to whisper into your ear, his teeth grazing your earlobe nibbling at the sensitive skin and his kisses made their way down your neck burying his nose into the small space, leaving open-mouthed kisses there and on your shoulder blade.

You managed to keep one hand on the tiles keeping yourself steady while your other hand reached down for you to rub your own clit faster, feeling everything go numb, feeling his cock twitch inside you after he had kept pounding your g-spot over and over again. The both of you moaned almost in sync as his thrusts got sloppier and your hips seemed to lose control until everything came to a slow stop. The two of you clearly having reached your highs at the same time. You were completely dazed, still pressed up against the tiles, letting the water fall over your body for a moment while Tony pulled out of you. His arms immediately embracing you, the feeling of being surrounded by him was warm and loving, his lips kissing your neck and cheek softly.

"Clearly both you and I have very different ideas of what relaxing is." You said with a small chuckle as you found the strength to turn around in his arms to face him. Your hands cupped his face while water was pouring all over his head.

"Well did it work though? I'm still waiting for an answer." He questioned raising an eyebrow at you.

"I'll let you know next time," You said with a smirk on your face quickly kissing his lips, pecking them.

"But right now we need to hurry up or else we will turn into prunes at this rate. Your turn now." You reached over to grab the shampoo bottle and squirted some into your palm as he lazily had his arms around your torso keeping you close.

"Fine...let's be quick then." He sighed, your fingers plunging into his hair, raking and slowly massaging his head and you knew how much he loved having his hair pulled and touched so you made sure to take extra care of it.

You had done the same thing he had to your body, making sure to have your fingers run across every inch of his skin, washing him down. You even tried working your magic by massaging the knots in his shoulders and pressing against every single muscle, your nails tracing along his veins. You could feel his hands clench your body tighter the lower your hands ventured down his body but despite his demeanor of wanting to continue the funny business in the shower all you kept whispering to him was "Let's save it for next time." and all he did in response was sigh in annoyance. Even though he seemed to be the one in control he always did what you told him to do anyways. You both rinsed off in the water until you were fully cleaned and well "relaxed" according to Tony's definition of the word...

One Week Later...

Back to square one again and maybe fourth time would be the charm this time around. There you were sitting on the toilet again a place you had ultimately started to hate when it came to taking pregnancy tests. You kept staring at what seemed like the pink line of death and you tried to wait patiently this time and you were hoping that maybe just maybe there was a small chance that this would be the one.

The timer had finally gone off and you had closed your eyes picking up the test and slowly you opened your eyes to see that it was...Positive! You couldn't contain your excitement at all and you literally screamed at the top of your lungs as you saw finally two lines on the test and you were just jumping with joy. You had caused such a commotion that Tony came running into the bathroom and his eyes wandered to the test in your hand and he clearly connected two and two together. Your head whipped around to look at him and your eyes were filled with happy tears as you just looked at him and nodded your head.

"Tony...it's positive!" You said while you ran into his arms and hugged him so tightly that you both even stumbled back a few steps.

"So I'm really going to be a dad?!" He asked his voice almost cracking at the thought that it was really happening, you both had tried so hard all this time and now you were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Yes! I can't believe it! I'll have to go to the doctor to confirm it but I don't even care. I'm just so happy right now!" You said quickly, your heart was racing knowing that you finally were pregnant after so long of trying it happened.

Turns out that "Relaxing Shower" of Tony's really did work its own little miracle enough to finally get you pregnant just like the two had been wanting and hoping for so long.

Complete Masterlist

Got a Request? Check out my Guidelines!

[marvelwritings]

A piece of me has disappeared

Summary: By day three, the first doubts set in. He’s convinced Tony is still out looking for him, but putting in the effort doesn’t always guarantee results. These people that abducted him are clever, and they know about his spider abilities. 

or: Peter get's abducted and Tony goes to rescue his son 

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet. Morgan is in her bed and there’s no doubt that tomorrow at seven am she’ll be up and at ‘em to wake Peter up. Tony and Pepper are across the room of his, their frantic work attitudes finally put to the sleep they so desperately need. Peter is blinking up at his roof in his bedroom, feeling fine, good even, peaceful and sated and most importantly, safe.

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet. Morgan is in her bed and there’s no doubt that tomorrow at seven am she’ll be up and at ‘em to wake Peter up. Tony and Pepper are across the room of his, their frantic work attitudes finally put to the sleep they so desperately need. Peter is blinking up at his roof in his bedroom, feeling fine, good even, peaceful and sated and most importantly, safe.

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet and …. The repeats stops working once Peter’s stomach gnaws again, the hunger he’s so gravely experiencing has switched to a whole new level. No longer the petty grumbles of an empty stomach, instead it’s replaced by the need to eat anything, despite Peter’s rationality telling him he can’t. He’s been locked up for at least seven days, but he’s still to sceptic to eat anything his captors offer him. He’s very close to breaking.

He tries to hold on by imagining that he’s at home, but he’s so tired, yet so fitful he won’t close his eyes for more then 10 seconds, and the constant torture is so jarring it hurts worse to imagine home, then be woken up in reality, than to just to be present. Peter wonders if Tony is every going to find him.

The first day, he had no question about it. Tony is scarily determined and protective to anyone who dares come after the people he considers family, Peter got a first row demonstration when some journalist tried to bad mouth Spiderman and he got clocked in the jaw, so Peter knows it’s just a matter of time.

By day three, the first doubts set in. He’s convinced Tony is still out looking for him, but putting in the effort doesn’t always guarantee results. These people that abducted him are clever, and they know about his spider abilities. So much so that they keep him sedated at all times, just enough sedative to keep him conscious, but not too little that he can tap in his superstrength. Peter will never be able to escape on his own.

Maybe if the avengers got called in they were close, but Peter’s not sure Tony would call in people he hasn’t spoken to in a few months, purely to find him. He can hold out hope though.

The third day is also the day his captures, he hasn’t seen any faces so far and the sedative contorts their voices too much to match them to somebody he knows, start with the emotional manipulation. So far, they had stuck to electrocution by tazers and punches applied to any sensitive area of his body, but Peter must not have been broken fast enough for them.

‘You know, you remind me of the stereotypical bad guys in movies, like in kids movies? Do you like kid movies? My favorite is Frozen’, Peter had once babbled in between punches through bitten teeth, trying to keep up his high spirits.

They didn’t like that one bit.

They claim all sort of ridiculous things, like that the Starks paid money for them to have kidnapped him, that Tony never started searching for him, that he might as well give up because no one was coming to fetch him. Peter laughs in their face, witty even in the face of extreme danger. It was still funny to him then. Now, on the evening of the seventh day, he stares unblinking at a wall, only moving when the physical pain becomes too much and he needs an outlet to scream.

‘Please’, he pleads sobbing. If he wasn’t so starved as he was, so mentally vulnerable, he would have been embarrassed. As it stands, Peter’s just so incapable of resisting, he simply gives in.

‘Please stop,’ Peter whimpers. If he had anything to give he’d bargain, but money is tight for May and him, and he has no knowledge of anything avengers related that could be of interest to these people. Mister Stark told him it was for his own safety, so it wouldn’t be used as leverage against him, but in Peter’s warped mind it further adds proof Tony never trusted him.

‘Ahn’, a captor coos, ‘he’s begging already, how cute.’ The voice is distinctly that of a woman’s, but it hold nothing of the warm timbre both aunt May and Pepper possess. He misses them.

The woman slides a hand up in Peter’s hair, and for one confusing moment Peter thinks she’s going to start stroking it, like Tony does, but then she balls her hands into fists and pulls his head aside. The next tazer gets placed in his neck.

‘This wouldn’t be happening if your so beloved mentor would just give up the plans for the new shield initiative, but alas, as long as he doesn’t you’ll be stuck here. The tazzer buzzes to life and Peter seizes up. It’s the so many’th time today, that Peter gives up on holding back, his scream ricochets in the room.

‘Then again, maybe we went after the wrong kid. Maybe we should have taken Tony Starks real kid? The one he actually cares about?’

Tears stumbles down his cheeks and he wishes he could fall back into unconsciousness, but of course life is not that kind. No, he begs inside his head, to warm out to speak. Not Morgan, never Morgan. He’d die before he’d let anything happen to her.

‘What do you think soldier,’ she addresses the second captor in the room, ‘perhaps a phone call would speed Stark along? A sign of life and how close to it being snuffed out the child is? What do you want Peter?’ She asks sickly sweet, as if it’s a regular question and not a taunt.

Still, Peter can’t help but reach out. He longs for one phone call so wholeheartedly. Maybe, maybe he can convince Mister Stark to get him out of this mess. He could promise to do every task Mister Stark ask of him, he could even offer to work for Stark industries until he could pay back the money he’d pay Peter’s kidnappers, anything to get out of here. Peter will do anything.

‘I think he’s agreeing.’ The woman grins, pulling out a burner phone out of her back pocket. She types for several excruciating moments, in which Peter begs to every god listening that Mister Stark will pick up. That he’ll hear Peter out.

‘Hello,’ the woman greets the phone, her smirk so evil Peter’s spider senses warm him to run, fighting through the drugs. ‘I think I have something that belongs to you Stark.’

She lowers the phone to a few inches from Peter’s ear, because Peter is too tied up to hold it on his own. ‘Speak loudly kid.’

The use of the nickname causes shudders to run down Peter’s back. Why can’t he go home?

‘Mister Stark, please help me, I don’t know where I am, but- I want to go home, please mister Stark I-. I’ll do anything you want, just please.’ Peter’s whines gain pitch, until he is nothing but a sobbing mess, barely worth the name Peter Parker, let alone Spiderman.

The phone clicks shut.

‘Whoops, looks like he hung up’, The woman snickers, patting Peter’s cheek with fake compassion. Peter bellows, heaving so severely the nonexistent food he ate threatens to come back up.

He’d never find out the phone was never connected in the first place.

---

By the grace of Peter doesn’t know what, he drops unconscious after the failed phone call to Mister Stark. The sleep is fitful at best, but at least it helps restock his powers. When Peter comes too, there are loud sounds just outside of the room he’s captivated in. He thinks there’s screaming and pleading, but he’s so exhausted he can’t bring himself to care. His hands drop uselessly by his side, his head turned away from the door as he squeezes his eyes shuts.

Why can’t this be over yet?

The door busts of his hinges, the door falls inwards. Immediately, the yellow and red armor, belonging to the iron man suit, rushes in, with the faceplate down. Now that the door is open, or gone more like, It’s clear that all the sounds Peter had been hearing where the scream of his captures. There are many of them, but they’re being taken down one by one.

Peeking aside the Iron man armor, Peter sees a flash of red and blue, and captain America’s shield knocking someone out cold.

‘Kid, kid’, Mister Stark draws his attention in a panic. The faceplate is still down, which means that Mister Stark is either not here, like he wasn’t when the vulture first dropped him into a lake, or he’s assessed the situation and deemed it too dangerous to lower his defenses.

‘You’re okay underoos, we’re getting you out of here.’ With very little effort, Mister Stark snaps restraints on Peter’s wrist and ancles, all the while murmuring under his breath. He’s trying to reassure Peter, but it’s not having any type of effect.

Instead, the comfort causes Peter to burst into tears once more, his body begging for food and pain medication that will make everything stop hurting. He doesn’t care that Mister Stark is doing this out of rightfulness, or maybe out of debt out of some kind that he’s trying to even out, Peter just wants to go home.

Once the restraints are all loose, and Peter is free of them, Mister Stark waits for a tense second, maybe expecting Peter to hob off the table and join the fight or something. That doesn’t happen. Peter lays motionless on the table, looking intensely at the glowing eyes of the iron man suit, maybe trying to convey a message that Mister Stark can’t decipher.

‘Come on Pete, we have to get out of here before they bring backup. I can only hold them off for so long.’

‘Back up?’ Peter ask nonsensical, his spider senses blaring danger at him.

‘Yeah, they’re big fans of the avengers, they’ll all be swarming in here for autographs soon, but we’re kinda busy so we really have to go now.’ Mister Stark turns frantic, his hands carefully, oh so cautiously, gripping at his shoulders.

Peter allows his muscles to turn limp, pliant under strange hands. They belong to his mentor, to one of the only touches he has ever felt that don’t originate from people who are trying to hurt him, but he’s so very terrified, it doesn’t register. Peter holds still, submissive to whatever is about to happen because the pain always seems to end faster when he doesn’t struggle.

‘Peter’, Mister Stark anguished voice insists, his faceplates lifts up, and the dull eyes of who Peter has come to think of as a father gaze upon him with despair. Mister Starks hair is greasy, his mouth is pulled down in a grimace, and his eyes are, for a lack of better word grief stricken. He’s so much older then he was before Peter was taken. ‘Please buddy, we have to go.’

Mister Stark’s calloused finger strokes Peter cheek with the utmost care, barely even pressing firm enough for Peter to feel it. He does though, and traps the touch between his check and his shoulder.  The dam breaks, and the barrier of terror that clouded Peter’s judgment lifts with it. He gasps, coming up for a breath of fresh air, and the moment between mentor and son brings at least a sliver of clarity, before he sinks back under the enormity of his panic.  

‘I can’t walk’, Peter rasps, his throat torn from all the screams. He refuses to let that stop him, he’s so close to safety, he needs to push on further just a tad longer. ‘Please Mister Stark, I can’t walk.’

‘It’s okay Pete’, Tony soothes, pressing an unyielding kiss to his forehead, and if at all possible, Peter see the rage harden his face even more. ‘I’m going to get you out of here, but it’s gonna hurt, I’m sorry.’

Before Peter can begin to process that statement, Mister Stark puts the weight on his knees, the iron man suit helping to lift Peter as if it’s no trouble at all.  Tony is no liar, Peter finds, as his body begs to be placed back on the uncomfortable bed. Even places that had been relatively unharmed ache, and Peter feels like a broken doll.

‘It’s okay Kiddo we’re almost there, just a minute longer.’ Peter clings to Mister Stark, using every ounce of strength to hang on, despite the fact that Tony has a tight grip on him as well. Iron man isn’t fighting alone, as the avengers are here to back him, them, up. In any other situation, Peter would be gushing. Not only is he seeing his heroes in action, but they’re in action for him, to help him, but now, Peter only turns his head to burrow it into Mister Starks chest plate.

‘Please, please’, Peter whispers the entire way to the jet, not even realizing he’s begging for something.

‘I got you Pete’, Tony assures, one hand briefly leaving Peter’s back to shoot at a capture that’s standing in the way of the jet. Other than that, he doesn’t interfere with the fight one time, but he must itch too. Peter hears him bark orders at captain America, telling him to take some of them alive.

‘Please don’t leave me here, I’ll be good, I’ll be good.’

The Jet is nice and warm, something Peter relishes in, but when Tony tries to lower Peter on a medbed, that’s objectively much more comfortable then the bed he was on before, Peter screams. No words are spoken, but the scream startles Mister Stark just the same.

‘Stark, the base is cleared, get him strapped in, Banner is coming’, Natasha ushers, ignoring Peter’s cries and running to the cockpit. Stark has him, she argues, and it does the kid no good to have more prying eyes on him.

‘What is it, are you in pain?’ Tony asks franticly, without responding to Nat, hands hovering over Peter’s body to check for injuries, the light dims when he spots just how badly he was treated in captivity.

Peter screams again when Mister Stark pulls away too far for his liking, latching onto the suit so rigorous it creaks in protests.

‘Please, I’ll be good, don’t leave me, please. I- I know… I’m sorry, Morgan- I’, Peter can’t talk with how much he’s weeping, there are so many things to say and all of them are fighting one another to be said first. Eventually, after everyone has already touched base, the jet leaves and Doctor Banner urgers Tony to place him on the bed, Peter settles for; ‘Don’t leave me here.’

‘Peter’, Tony spits, so harsh that Peter snaps to attention, letting go of the armor and limply following where mister Stark wants him. He gently grips Peter’s chin, mindful of the bruises, and with glistening eyes, he conveys; ‘I’m never leaving you here, do you understand. I don’t care what else you have in your head, but right now, all I need you to know is that I’m not leaving you. Ever.’

He waits for the conforming nod, which Peter only gives when Mister Stark clasps his hand into his. ‘Beside, May would kill me if I came back without her nephew, and I don’t want to be the one to receive her wrath.’ Tony laughs faintly.

He wants to cry at that, good or bad he’s not sure, but instead he allows himself to be lowered, giving in only because Tony is crouching down with him, shielding Peter’s body with his own. It’s unsensical, there in the jet and there’s no danger, but if Peter feels protected Tony will do it, no questions asked.

As soon as he’s in a horizontal positions, Doctor Banner injects him with pain medication, and within seconds, Peter has floated away, dreaming of the lake house with Morgan, Pepper and tony and May at the end of the hallway.

---

Peter knows he’s in the medbay before his body has even fully awoken. He’s been here before, perhaps one to many times for it too be so familiar, and he can recognize the atmosphere from anywhere. The smell of disinfectant lingers around the room heavily, but so does the smell of motor oil, coming from Mister Stark’s lab the floor below the medbay. Usually he’s not alone when he wakes up either, accompanied by Mister Stark or May, maybe even both, and so despite the room having a different connotation, it holds security for Peter.

When all his senses click into place, with an almost audible snap after being out of commission for a week, the burning anguish joins it. It’s almost worse than during the torture itself, because it’s hitting him all at once now, and after stewing for a day his body is one big bruise, but it’s also better, because no more hurt can be added.

Blinking his eyes open, Peter glances around the room and notices that he’s by himself. He hasn’t made up his mind yet whether that’s a good or bad thing. Despite being alone, Peter very nearly cries out for the pain medication he’s sure Tony has at hand. His metabolism runs through painkillers faster than a normal body, but Mister Stark has experience in that department thanks to captain America, which is why Peter never wakes up in the medbay feeling sore.

He’s hoping to snatch some of the good stuff before he can sink away in sleep again, until a dark thought pops up in his head. What if Mister Stark purposefully didn’t give him enough medication so he wouldn’t stay asleep? What if Peter is expected to pay of his debt starting this very moment? It would make sense. Mister Stark is a man that likes to get a move on things, and this is probably no exception.

He bites back a loud whine. He’s so tired and sore, and if he could be anywhere in the world right now he’d choose the lakehouse and rest on the back porch, while looking over Morgan and ensuring she’s safe.

Still, it’s heaps better then what was waiting for him before, so Peter sucks in a deep breath and lifts himself up. He’s dresses in a hospital gown with socks on his feet, the only reprieve of the cold of the tiles that he has. His body fights in protest against the jolting movements, and Peter sinks back into bed three times before finally managing to stay upright. He swallows back bile, and blinks away the disorientation woozing its way through his head.

‘Friday’? He whispers, voice cracking on every syllable.

‘Yes, mister Parker, the AI replies easily, as chipper as a computer can possibly be. ‘It’s good to have you back,’ she adds, when Peter takes too long to reply. It’s not out of rudeness, but the words take a while to be processed in Peter’s hazy mind.

‘Can you tell me what Mister Stark wants me to do?’ Peter finally asks after coughing to clear his throat. Pride flows through his bloodstream when he manages to sound fine.

‘Mister Stark has not given me any directions, but by the distress and elevated heartbeat he experienced whilst at your bedside last, I hypothesize that he would like you to rest Peter.’  

Confusion laces Peter’s next move. Rest? But if that was the case why wasn’t the man here, ensuring that he does like all the other times he’s been in this position?  Deciding not to ask the AI anymore questions, while simultaneously ignoring her advice, Peter focuses on setting one foot in front of the other. If he can’t get a direct answer out of Friday, he’ll just get started on cleaning up in the lab.

The last few times Tony and Peter worked in there, Mister Stark had jokingly grumbled that the lace was getting to disorganized even for his taste, which definitely means something. Peter limps his way to the door, already breathing more heavily and deciding to take a rest against the still closed door. His foot throbs, so Peter switches to put the most weight on the side of his foot, instead of on the balm.

The small trek has left him bone tried, and the lab still seems so far away. Peter tries to calculate how far the lab still is, and agrees with himself to divide the length into smaller stretches. His next stop is at the elevator, so Peter shuffled along the floor, ignoring the black spots that dance before his eyes and threaten to have him collapse.

The extortion reminds him of the time that Toomes dropped a building on him, which is just plain ridiculous, this shouldn’t be half as tough. Peter scolds himself to man up when about halfway to the elevator he bumps into a cart and whimpers.

After finally finding support on the elevator beams, Peter allows himself a twenty second break to cry. At this point, the exact reason for crying is unbeknownst to him. All that he does know is that he feels like a mess, like someone took all the spiderman away from him and left him as a pile of uselessness. He shouldn’t have the right to complain however. Mister Stark rescued him from a fate much worse, the least he could do is help him out.

‘Friday’, Peter pauses to gulp in more air, and to force his tears back. ‘Open the elevator.’

‘Mister Parker I would advise-‘

‘Please’, he begs, voice barely louder then a whisper. The AI complies without further disagreement. The elevator begins to move the floor bellow it, soundlessly passing Peter along. The theme song, a little joke that Tony had installed after they made a song about spiderman, which plays during every elevator ride when Peter is present, stays off. The doors open, and Peter stumbles out, cheering up a dash when the mess doesn’t look as bad as he had imagined it. The clean up should be doable within two hours, even in Peter’s injured state. Most of the mess comes from scattered papers and documents that Tony tosses aside and never bothered to do anything with, and of mechanical parts that are ready to be thrown out.

All in all, not a lot of weight that Peter has to pick up. He has barely started on five pages when the elevator behind him opens again. Peter hadn’t noticed it going to a different floor in the first place.

Lister Stark burst out of the room like the devil himself is after him. He pauses for one second to observe what Peter’s doing -he’s in the middle of bending down at a very lateral pace- and then he’s off again, cursing under his breath.

‘Jesus Christ Peter what are you doing?’

He pulls out a rolling chair from behind his work bench and rushes it to Peter side. ‘Come on, sit.’ He says already clenching a hand around Peter’s bicep to guide him down. In his confusion, Peter follows his instruction.

‘Mister Stark?’ He questions, eyes tracking his mentors movement as if he’s afraid he’s done something wrong and punishment will follow.

There is none, all that Tony does, is fall down on his knees in front of Peter, so they’re making direct eye contact. Peter gulps at the sight. He’s sure those jeans cost more than half of what May ears a month, and if Peter is expected to repay those too, he’ll never be able to pay of his debt.

‘Kiddo, what are you doing?’ Mister Stark asks incredulous, his hand never leaving Peter’s arm. His eyes sweep over Peter’s form, noticing the ailments that he aggravated by walking all the way down here. ‘Why aren’t you in bed?’

‘I thought you wanted me to get started already.’ Peter admits shyly. He can’t understand why he’s being treated with such kindness all of a sudden.

‘Started on what Pete? I don’t understand.’ Mister Stark shuffles closer, one hand coming up to cup Peter’s chin, sweeping gentle circles that are meant to calm himself down as much as Peter.

‘Paying of my debt.’ Peter replies confused, wrapping his arms around his stomach area and bending downwards in an order to self sooth. He needs to get up soon, are Peter’ not sure he will be able to. Now that he’s granting his body some rest, the pain he forced to the back of his mind is rushing back in.

‘What debt kid, you need rest and you need it right now. Stay here, I’m going to go get you a gurney so you don’t require any more walking.’

Right as Mister Stark gets of his knees, Peter’s hand shoots out, gripping the older man’s wrist.  The action was pure habitual, but now that he’s initiated contact he doesn’t know what to do.

‘When will I have to start working then? I’d rather get started as soon as possible, to thank you for everything Mister Stark.’ Peter’s voice pitches even lower, letting his head hang down in shame. He really doesn’t want to offer his suit back, Spiderman is what gives him purpose, but the sooner he no longer has a debt, the sooner he can start working to provide May with an extra income as well. He has no choice.

‘I can give you the suit back if you’ll accept it.’

Tony regards him with perturbation for several long lasting moment. Then, he gasps, finally clicking in his head what Peter is going on about.

‘Oh kiddo, that’s the concussion speaking. Listen to me,’ he sinks back down in front Peter, taking his hand in his. ‘You have done so much for me. If anything it’s me that should be in debt to you.’ Peter pens his mouth to argue, but Tony hushes him softly.

‘You’re not thinking straight buddy, that why spider baby’s need their rest. But truly Peter, you don’t owe me anything. Well except maybe you owe it to  be safe, I think I’ve earned that much.’

‘Really?’ Peter asks optimistically, his whole body filling up with a feeling he can’t name, but it chokes him up until he’s bursting with the urge to give a hug to his mentor.

‘Yeah Peter of course. All I want is my kids to be safe.’

Kids. Tony sees Peter as his kid, as equal to Morgan. A person to love unconditionally without needing any favors, without having any debt. Of course Mister Stark won’t ask that of him, despite his front, the man has a heart that’s made of gold. Mister Stark, his mentor, and his father figure.

‘Dad,’ Peter sobs, almost falling out of the chair in his rush to get to Tony. The man immediately returns the hug, holding Peter up in a way that he hopes will be the least painful for him.

‘You’re okay Peter you’re okay.’

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking’, Peter confesses, deeply ashamed of how low he thought of his dad.

‘It’s okay Kiddo, like I said it’s the concussion. Of course you were scared, I can’t blame you. I promise that I tried so hard to find you bud. I’m sorry it took me so long.’

Peter says nothing, he’s had enough encounters with Tony now to sense that the man wouldn’t believe him if Peter told him it’s okay. Instead he just nuzzles closer, accepting all the love and affection radiating from Tony, and giving back what he hopes is just as much.

‘Can we go back to the lakehouse?’ Peter asks softly, burring his head in Tony’s neck. It might be a weird question coming from him. He liked the beach house enough, but he has never actively asked to go there when they could stay at the tower as well. But now, Peter won’t feel safe unless his down there, in the cabin hidden behind threes, where the environment is quiet that he can hear everyone’s heartbeat, and can confirm that everyone is safe.

‘Sure kid.’ Tony responds, a tad bewildered, but happy to provide anyway. ‘We’ll leave as soon as you get check out okay. I want to make sure you didn’t rip anything.’

‘Okay’, Peter mumbles, a bone deep tiredness washing over him, and letting him sink down into Tony. ‘Thanks dad.’

If Peter were more awake, he would have noticed the silent tears of happiness streaming down Mister Starks cheek at the name. As it stands, Peter just hums contently when a kiss is pressed at the top of his head, and Tony strikes a hand through his hair.

‘Anything for my son.’

[sweetestpopcorn]

I’m disappointed with the joke of that show House of the Dragon. Why can’t HBO just leave my Targaryens alone?

Hi there! 🤗

If we don’t know what’s about, it’s about money. Because they want to make money. Because G*T gave them sh:t tones of money and awards and they want more and they are doing everything they can to get it and spending fortunes on adversiting it as much as they can.

After G*T though, my surprised is that any Targaryen and Dany fan still follows H*O and expects anything (positive or neutral) from them. I can’t be disappointed because I think season 8 killed my ability to be disappointed by asoiaf adaptations but I get what you are saying since I had negative expectations, and everything that comes out still manages to surprise me at how bad it is. 

Bonus: To anyone curious of my thoughts on anything else that came out, I think it’s even worse than I expected it to be. Everything I see just validates my thoughts and when it contradicts them it’s to tell me that I was still being too optimistic. 

Since I have no wishes to give H*O what I want though - money and free publicity and promotion - I don’t refer to them or their shows by name. I don’t share photos/edits of it. I won’t share or like any fanart or fanfic inspired by it. I don’t want anything to do with it and I just want their show to be over and the hype to die.

I am a fan of Fire and Blood and of the ASOIAF universe, I am against any adaptation, this or subsequent ones. We vote with our money, and my money is voting no.

Furthermore, let’s say that although the shows are very far away from canon (because they are and if you think otherwise read or re-read the books) and are just a loose adaptation, could I still enjoy them? Yeah, some adaptations aren’t very faithful and they are still ok. But think about what universe this prequel is taking place. A universe in which currently House Targaryen is gone (because Jon is a Stark let’s not forget season 8). Half of the Targaryens are crazy (in show canon), and one of the most promising Targaryens of all time became an EvIl QuEeN killed by her nephew after saving everyone’s ass*es. So my question is, why in this universe would you care about knowing more about Dany’s family? Unless you hate her and you just have a sick fantasy of wanting to see just how degenerate and insane her ancestors were, I don’t see a point. So even if I saw it from the lenses of “Ok this isn’t canon, it’s a loose adaptation”, I still can’t care given the Universe in which this is taking place. And then the time period they chose. Lol, anyone thinks it’s an accident? That they are choosing one of the darkest periods of House Targaryen?! Of course it isn’t! 

I wish the best of luck to any Targaryen and Dany fans planning on watching this. Y’all will need a LOT of cognitive dissonance to get through this. To antis, OH, it will be a field day!

All the best to you 🥰

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

PSA: Lyanna Stark was NOT a hypocrite

It’s a little annoying how often ASOIAF fans will misread and purposefully misinterpret Lyanna’s thoughts about Robert’s true nature, as a way to prove that she’s hypocritical (while also absolving Robert from all his faults as a husband/lover).

First, let’s look at that conversation again, shall we? 

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale.” Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”

And we must consider the larger context:

The girl had been so young Ned had not dared to ask her age. No doubt she’d been a virgin; the better brothels could always find a virgin, if the purse was fat enough. She had light red hair and a powdering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and when she slipped free a breast to give her nipple to the babe, he saw that her bosom was freckled as well. “I named her Barra,” she said as the child nursed. “She looks so like him, does she not, milord? She has his nose, and his hair …”

“She does.” Eddard Stark had touched the baby’s fine, dark hair. It flowed through his fingers like black silk. Robert’s firstborn had had the same fine hair, he seemed to recall.

“Tell him that when you see him, milord, as it … as it please you. Tell him how beautiful she is.”

“I will,” Ned had promised her. That was his curse. Robert would swear undying love and forget them before evenfall, but Ned Stark kept his vows. He thought of the promises he’d made Lyanna as she lay dying, and the price he’d paid to keep them.

- Eddard IX, AGOT

Ned recalls his conversation with Lya as he returns from visiting one of Robert’s bastards. He has just made a promise to tell Robert about the babe and laments that he is a man who honors and keeps his vows. When me promises to do something, he will go through with it.

Furthermore, this scene is framed within the context of Robert being a liar. He will swear one thing and then immediately perform actions that directly contradict whatever oaths he has made. Robert would say that he loves Lyanna and would remain faithful to her, and only her, but then would immediately go an and betray her trust.

That’s what Lyanna is talking about in her conversation with Ned. She’s not condemning Robert for fathering a bastard. She’s condemning him for fathering a bastard all while he swears oaths of love and loyalty to her. Because Ned tells her that Robert loves her and only her, that he’s sworn to be faithful to her alone. Yet Lyanna goes, “are you sure about that, dear brother?” Because why would he swear loyalty to her then turn around and do the exact opposite of that loyalty, which is laying with another woman and fathering a child on her?

As much as Lyanna has the right to call out her betrothed’s promiscuity, she’s really not doing that here. She’s using his promiscuity to call out his lying and unreliable nature. Robert may love her, but he will not honor that love and stay true to her. That’s literally what she means by saying

“Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”

Simple as that.

Also, notice how the topic of oaths and vows comes into play. This conversation undoubtedly brings into mind the concept of knighthood and the chivalric code. Robert has, from the very beginning, been a deconstruction of the knightly ideal. He’s a knight who fought a battle against the (not so) evil dragon/prince and won, but he was ultimately without honor and became a bad king. He’s the same knight who vowed to rescue his maiden (Lyanna) but was also unfaithful to her. This is a deconstruction of the chivalric tale. We’re meant to think that Robert, NOT Lyanna, is the hypocrite here. Robert is just another one of GRRM’s failed knights in ASOIAF; remember that before he was a king, Robert was a Ser.

And if we really want to bring Rhaegar into this, I’m afraid that we cannot call him a hypocrite for fathering a child on Lyanna.

He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.

The text directly contradicts the idea that Robert and Rhaegar are similar. Ned himself, who has a close personal relationship with Robert, acknowledges this. And going back to the point about the deconstruction of chivalry, Rhaegar is a knight as well. His elopement with Lyanna directly plays into the chivalric performance of a knight kidnapping an innocent young maiden. It’s a tale as old as time, literally. But this is not a clear cut case of Rhaegar being the evil knight (or the evil dragon, as some of our fantasy tales might have it) because the text goes to great lengths to paint him as the opposite of Robert.

Rhaegar did not swear vows of love and loyalty to Lyanna and then break them (as far as we know). While he was married to Elia and was fond of her, as per Barrtistan, there is no indication in the text that he personally vowed to love her above all before he ultimately absconded with Lyanna. So, Lyanna running off with Rhaegar instead of marrying Robert does not make her actions hypocritical. There’s really no reason to read this passage that way. At all.

So TL,DR:

STOP calling Lyanna a hypocrite because of this one conversation. That’s literally not supported within the text at all. Lyanna is not objecting to Robert fathering a bastard. Rather, she’s objecting too him fathering a bastard all while he tells her father and brothers that he wishes to marry her, love her, and be faithful to her.

STOP trying to compare Robert and Rhaegar through this lens - that Rhaegar and Lyanna are hypocrites. The text directly contradicts that idea. Robert is the hypoactive and the liar, NOT Lyanna or Rhaegar.

It’s that simple. No need to overcomplicate things.

I’m not entirely sure why this passage has been misinterpreted for so long but here we are…

[takadasaiko]

Brown Leather Shoes (a Keen2 oneshot)

FFN I AO3

Prompt #16 "Stop that broody look and come over here" submitted from the Teasing Dialogue prompt list by @d-evils-advocate21

--

He'd broken protocol. Rules set hard and fast and drilled into every operative trained in St Regis. Once you're in, no contact. That was it. If ifs, ands, or buts. No excuses. The cops were onto you? Deal with it. The mark made you? Fix it. You didn't call him for help and he sure as hell didn't call you. If you made it through initiation, he knew you were up for the job.

That's why it had been so surprising to hear from him. He'd shown up, of course, like a good little soldier and taken the verbal lashing. He'd kept his mouth shut - for the most part - and promised Bud that everything was under control. The contract wasn't at risk. He was a professional. Bud should know. He'd raised him. He had this.

But all the confidence in the world didn't make it true. He knew it every time he looked at her. Jacob Phelps had never had a problem diving too deeply into a role. He wore it like a second skin, but it never penetrated his own. Not until her. He could still remember the way his chest had tightened at the sight of those damned shoes. Brown, leather loafers that had been delivered along with the rest of "his" things. They weren't his. Not really. They had been provided by Bud's source that supplied the physical side of identities that the St Regis operatives created. Jacob had hated them. They were stiff and would have been impossible to run in if shit hit the fan, but they were right in line with Tom Keen's style. The very style that he'd designed in order to stay on the edges of her group of friends. Clearly that had worked out well. Right back to that painful feeling that had caught up to him when he saw the little heart left in the dust of the shoes he had never worn.

He had her.

He had her, and he knew he'd have to walk away from her someday.

He could almost picture it: something between tear-stained and murderous. Probably a bit of both. She'd hate him for who he was and what he'd done. She wouldn't be the first in that respect, but the terrifying realization - the one that crept up on him when he least expected it - was that she was the first mark that he'd cared how they reacted. With Elizabeth Scott, he was finding it harder and harder to keep his eye on the exit with each passing day. .

Oh hell. He was in deep. Way too deep. Shit.

"Hey, you. Stop that brooding look and come over here."

Tom Keen snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her voice. He glanced over to where she had made herself comfortable on his couch, a glass of wine in her hand and his - strangely full again - waiting on the coffee table in front of the glaringly empty place she wanted him in. He stared at her from behind the round, tortoiseshell rims resting on his nose and her grin slowly faded, worry creeping in to replace it.

"You okay?"

"Just thinking," he managed as he stood, feeling an unexpected twinge in his right leg. The scar from the bullet that had been buried there once had faded to the point that it was easily missed and it rarely bothered him anymore, but the reminder of the life before intimate dates that ended with a beautiful woman on his couch and more wine that he probably should have drunk was stark. It should have served as a reminder, but he found himself hating it. Shoving it down, and as he did, he let the seriousness that had apparently caught her eye slip behind the mask of calm. Of happiness. "About you."

"About me? What about me? " she asked suggestively.

He watched her watching him, feeling a strange warmth settle deep in his chest. Maybe that mask wasn't too far off. This was his reality now, and he was going to lean into it with everything that he had. With that settled, Tom offered her a smile and he moved across to the couch. Her eyes didn't leave him as her own smile broadened and she let him take the glass of wine from her hand as he bent down, pressing his lips against hers. "About how you changed everything," he breathed as they parted, foreheads touching as neither dared to move too far apart. It was honest, even if he knew she didn't know how. It was as close as someone like him could get.

Liz reached up, her hand clasping the back of his neck as she pulled him back in and they both rocked back onto the couch. She let out a playful laugh as he leaned into the kiss, one hand finding her free one as the other instinctively did what it could to keep them from rolling and crashing down to the floor. Her own free hand slid down from his neck to his back and pulled at the edge of his shirt, teasing at skin, and if he let her keep going in the direction she was heading in they were both going to be in a world of pain.

From rolling off the couch, of course. Only that. Because that was the moment that he decided. Mr Deep Pockets that wanted him to protect her? Fine. He'd protect her, and the closer he was the better he could protect her. Lips pressed, fingers intertwined…. Nope. They were off the couch.

Tom caught them as they fell, easing her into his arms and standing. Liz shifted, arms wrapping around his neck and legs around his waist as he carried her back to the bedroom. It was fine. It was going to be fine. It had to be. He wasn't willing to let her go.

--

Notes:

I've wondered for a long time about the dialogue in 1.19. Liz is yelling at him about every feeling, every memory being a lie and demanding that he say something to his wife who's dying in front of him. Tom's response? "It was the shoes." He then goes into a story in which he explains that he knew she was in at that point, but I do wonder if he was admitting he was too. That was the moment when they were both so entangled that he knew he was in too deep to even want to leave.

[yellowocaballero]

I know next to nothing abt utena but I. I kinda am extremely curious abt the utena vs mcu comparative analysis? if you feel like sharing lmao absolutely no worries if not

I love all of you because I will post obviously bait and someone will always indulge me in asking about it. NO I don’t want to unprompted just start rambling about my opinions, YES I will share them though. I will make this as short as possible because I can talk about Utena all day. I will add a disclaimer that I don’t super like the MCU so I’m very sorry to any MCU fans, Winter Soldier was good. Slight, vague spoilers for Utena ahead. 

TL;DR: MCU is constantly selling feminism in the form of palatable #bossbabes and Strong Female Characters, while Utena’s form of feminism is a more systematic and nuanced interview of how the patriarchy limits, exploits, and controls women. It posits that a woman CANNOT be a #bossbabe while she’s within that system, and only by leaving it can she find independence and identity. MCU is sponsored by the Air Force.

So for the uninitiated, Utena is a magical girl anime that I’ve been jokingly calling Evangelion: For Her. It deconstructs magical girl anime and fairy tales, and critically examines Japanese society, the patriarchy, heteronormative culture, and IN MY OPINION boarding schools. It deals with themes of trauma, toxic relationships, toxic masculinity, gender non-conformity, queerness, abuse, maturity, coming of age, gender roles, memory, and narrative. 

I’ve joked recently that Tumblr would find Utena problematic if it actually talked about the show beyond the killer aesthetic and sword lesbians. Every female character in it is obsessed with men. Most of them are in abusive, or at least toxic, relationships. It has several gender nonconforming, queer women, who view gender nonconformity as adopting the role of a man in society and thereby idealizing/controlling/abusing women, as men do. Every character is a hugely complicated person who hurts others. Men control women and women are either subservient and controlled by men, or they use their position of assumed subservience to manipulate men, or they attempt to regain power by taking the role of men. 

On the flip side. Utena demonstrates how every character is turned into this through the rigid and restrictive nature of (it’s Japanese, so Japanese, although it’s broadly applicable) society. Women who do not fit into these pre-set molds are punished and ostracized. Young boys are groomed by older men in order to fit these abusive molds, and otherwise well meaning men hurt women because they are not taught how to interact with women in healthy ways. The show is basically about how society takes the genuine need for love, intimacy, and human connection among children and beats them into societally accepted molds that keep power in the hands of powerful men. The patriarchy is ultimately a tool of powerful men that abuses and controls both men and women. Ever hear of no ethical consumption under capitalism? Try no ethical love under the patriarchy! 

So, no, Utena doesn’t really have a lot of ‘strong female characters’. But that’s really kind of the point - how can a woman be strong in this system? When a woman tries to gain strength, does she just try to imitate masculine values that we’re brainwashed into perceiving as strength? Is masculinity healthy? Can Utena really be gnc, or will a gnc woman never be accepted as a man by a society that profits off the victimization of women?

I’m not asking the MCU to analyze all of this, because they’re blockbuster movies and I don’t want or need them to get #deep. However, superhero movies will never look at the systematic and societal structures that build heroes and villains so long as the nature of superheroes inherently hinges upon the ‘Great Man’ system (basically an obsession with heroes and salvation through singular men instead of communities and movements). The MCU Spider-Man movies were so frustrating about this: it goes through the effort of saying that capitalism and injustice created the Vulture, but all that does is make a sympathetic villain - it never goes so far as to say that Peter is being fed into this system (by Tony Stark) like meat into a meat grinder that continues to prioritize the special over the collective. I don’t even need to get into Far From Home. The MCU constantly acknowledges these injustices (the way it acknowledges that the Air Force in Captain Marvel is sexist and racist) but it twists around that acknowledgement into assertion that superheroes and good guys CAN exist in this unjust system, and that they can utilize the power of this unjust system in order to provide salvation. Utena has Japanese Buddhist roots over this Christian ideal of the saviour/messiah: it encourages saving ourselves, and says that we cannot be saved by others, only aided and guided in that journey. 

Captain Marvel cannot be a ‘feminist’ film, no matter how much it celebrates Carol for embracing her individuality and autonomy in a discriminatory system, so long as Carol remains within that system. In contrast, the only way that Utena was able to live in gay happiness with Anthy was by rejecting the patriarchy, structure, and society completely. Carol is a shining, premier, ‘ideal’ example of a woman in the Air Force - tough and independent yet obedient and responsible to her system. Utena is also masc and gnc, but it actually explores how performing that masculinity isn’t a repudiation of the system, it’s just striving to attain status as the oppressor instead of the oppressed (absolutely crucial note that Utena doesn’t strive to be a man, she strives for masculinity). The #girlbosses in Black Panther are characterized by their complete and total loyalty and lack of ambition to authoritarian male figures and autocratic systems (Black Panther is really good and I like it a lot, this isn’t a criticism). Judi in Utena is also completely obedient and loyal to the male-dominated structure of the Student Council, but it’s shown as preventing her from accepting her lesbianism and pursing her desires. Black Widow, #girlboss extraordinaire, is devalued as a woman through her infertility and this is completely played straight and uncritically in a move that’s stunningly 1970s. Nanami in Utena (metaphorically) is confronted with her perceived lack of suitability for maternal life - and how the reason why she’s desperate for this is because it’s the promised unconditional love she never received. This isn’t even getting into the men - Tony Stark using tools of war to end war, which is an oxymoron. Peter Parker’s divorce from his working class roots into mindless imitation of authoritarian paternal figures and him literally being handed the cutsey drone strikes. Women in the MCU are ‘cool’, women in Utena are complex, flawed, and nuanced. 

We know the MCU isn’t woke. I don’t want it to be woke. But it keeps on pretending to try and it’s frustrating me. It continually just gets enough there to make me think about it and give the shiny sheen of that feminism while refusing to engage meaningfully with what they’re doing. I’d rather they didn’t try at all, because they consistently raise the question (hey it’s fucked up that the working class is getting screwed over and the Vulture’s doing what he’s doing for a reason!) and then refuse to answer it authentically or genuinely (but he’s evil so we don’t gotta touch that). I’m not gonna use the word pandering, but...that #girlboss shot in Endgame, come on...

Utena meaningfully treats the women as women who Live In A Society, and how that fucks them up, and how the only way they can be free is if they realize there’s no wizard behind the curtain, recognize the injustices, and repudiate the game. MCU says that a woman can be liberated and strong if she achieves specialness and strength within the system - if she ‘wins’ the game. But women don’t win this game. That’s the point of the game. Because when women win, men perceive themselves as losing, and that’s unacceptable. Captain Marvel and the MCU is a consolation prize for what women are consistently denied: complex and flawed characterizations. 

I’m normally uninterested by #feminism but Utena gets it. Thanks for the ask! 

[morose-magnetrix]

Darkhold Wasp #1 by Jordie Bellaire (writer and colorist) and Claire Roe (artist)

“I don’t need anyone. I am free.”

This installment in the Darkhold series is far better than what came before (Darkhold: Blade). After reading it, there’s a chilling hollowness in my soul, tinged with feelings of relief. I’ve never been a huge Janet van Dyne fan, just more or less knowing a few of her plot beats, and I hadn’t been really looking forward to this comic - but now, I think it’s easily one of the best comics I’ve read all year. 

I love the art style - it has that classic old comic feel to it, with the grainy dots sometimes giving textures to the character’s faces. The colors really enhance the overall atmosphere and vibe, reminding me of those dramatic black and white scenes we’d see in American Horror Story where you just know some terrible tragedy is about to go down. The pacing is excellent, and while you know what’s coming, the fantastic imagery and dialogue keeps you hooked. 

My main question is - are we supposed to see Janet van Dyne as the villain in this story?

In Darkhold, we were promised that we’d see twisted, corrupted versions of our heroes. Tony Stark turned the world into Cybermen, Blade became an evil vampire king or something, whereas Janet... gets out of an abusive relationship by killing Pym? I honestly don’t see her actions as evil. He hit her. Did she need to kill him? We know in mainline continuity no, she did not, but this Wasp doesn’t know that. All she knows is her superhero husband hit her. And Janet, pushed to her breaking point, snaps and kills him. She was a victim of domestic abuse and violence, assaulted by a man with strange powers who regularly goes toe to toe with super villains, was written up by his fellow Avengers for excessive force - how can we blame her for killing him? How could we argue that it was anything but self defense?

I think ultimately, this comic would be a brilliant What If...? issue on another path for the Wasp. But as a comic that tells us about the twisted corruption of Janet van Dyne? I just don’t see it. Maybe this comic would’ve benefited from a few more pages to show her descent into evil after this, but I honestly think it ends in the perfect spot. It’s a perfect comic on its own - but just doesn’t make sense if we’re supposed to see her as evil and monstrous for what she does. 

Janet van Dyne is still the hero in this story - she’s still a good person. You aren’t evil or monstrous for protecting yourself, ESPECIALLY in situations of domestic abuse and violence. 

Verdict: Nine out of ten stingers

[tonystarktogo]

It takes quite a bit of effort -- and some outstanding teamwork that Tony didn’t think he and Rogers would be capable of -- but they manage to break the helicarrier.

Hang on, that came out wrong.

To clarify [because Fury will undoubtedly be on Tony’s ass about this]: They don’t set out to break the helicarrier. But Barton, it turns out, is a damn talented saboteur and while Tony and Rogers successfully intercept his minions before they can get their hands on some of the very secret alien weapons SHIELD should’ve never gotten its hands on, they are way too late to do anything about the control center.

Or the rampaging Hulk. Who, if JARVIS is to be trusted -- who is always to be trusted because it’s JARVIS -- got into a screaming match with Thor. Wonderful.

Saving the helicarrier is a lost cause but they manage to break only part of it off -- the part they’re on because why wouldn’t they be -- so there’s a good 60% chance that not all of SHIELD’s top-of-the-top agents died in the crash.

Solid win for the good guys that.

[continues under the cut]

Sarcasm aside, they’re all alive. Tony caught Rogers -- not a fucking team player, ha --, Hulk is pretty hard to kill to the surprise of absolutely no one, save perhaps Ross, Thor and a very concussed-looking Loki can get downed by Captain America’s shield but are too godly-Asgardian-whatever to be phased by falling a couple of kilometers through the air and Romanoff just shows up amidst the rumble, covered in dirt, an ugly bruise on her jaw, blood tickling down her neck and the unconscious shape that is probably Barton slung over her shoulder.

Tony doesn’t even ask.

He’s too busy staring down Hulk. “Aren’t you supposed to be bigger?”

Instead of snarling, squashing him or whatever rage monsters do when they are told they aren’t impressive enough, Hulk claps his hands. “Tin man back!” he booms. “Hulk happy!”

Tony takes a wary step back. If Hulk tries to hug him too then big fan of the green guy or not, he’s taking to the sky and never coming back down again. Tony’s more than filled his hug-quota for the month, possibly for the year. And also people need to stop being so damn enthusiastic to see him, it’s gonna give him a complex.

Thankfully, there’s plenty of other people around him to serve as a distraction. Rogers for one is brushing already taking in their surroundings. Thankfully they’ve landed in an unhabitated, random hill in the middle of nowhere. The last thing Tony needs is more civilian causalities on his head. That said, he doesn’t recognize much of anything within eyesight, which isn’t promising.

Sure, his suit can probably get him out of here, but that still leaves a supersoldier, two secret agents and two Asgardians -- after Thor’s insistence on the term, Tony’s gonna stick with it, even if ‘god’ would freak more people out, see how well he’s taking other people’s feelings into consideration? -- unaccounted for. Plus the Hulk. But getting Big Green anywhere he doesn’t want to go would be impossible anyway.

“You alright there, Cap?”

“I’ll live.” Rogers grins at him, a little more tired and still with that same shadow that Tony can’t properly identify, but real nonetheless. Urgh. This much genuine happiness can’t be healthy. “Thanks for the help, Stark. You did good.”

Tony shrugs. “Hey, I’m all for team spirit and all that shit, ask anyone.” What else is he supposed to say?

Rogers snorts. Turns around to face Thor, who is carrying Loki towards them. Their future evil alien overlord doesn’t look too good up close, pale and haggard, with dark shadows under his eyes that would give Tony at his first post-Afghanistan depression a run for their money.

Not a record any sane person wants to beat.

“Everything alright with your brother?” 

Tony’s impressed how casual Rogers makes the question sound. It’s impossible to tell if he’s concerned about Loki’s welfare or subtly requesting information on his mental state or even demanding a report about potential trouble. Well done.

“Nothing he won’t recover from.” The expression on Thor’s face is hard to read, almost blank, but the way his grip around Loki tightens is a tell on its own.

Sternly reminding himself that he’s not gonna involve himself in Norse god drama -- again -- Tony catches Romanoff’s eyes and nods towards her carry-on. “Barton good as well?”

“He’ll be fine.” She says evenly. A threat if Tony has ever heard one. 

“Good.”

They both turn back towards the rest of the group. Even Hulk has joined them, perfectly content to just stand there and casually crush what’s left of the wreck inside his left hand. A powermove if Tony’s ever seen one -- really, if Tony didn’t already have his precious honeybear he’d claim Hulk as his best friend in a heartbeat. No second thoughts. Plenty of regrets. For other people, that is.

“Well, we’re all alive so that’s great.” Rogers rubs the back of his neck, wincing like he’s just realized how depressing that sounds. Shoots Loki an anything-but-inconspicious look. “I guess we should get back to the Tower, just in case.”

“What tower?” Tony asks over Thor’s agreement and Romanoff’s raised eyebrows -- they’re very loud raised eyebrows, okay.

Rogers freezes. The look on his face bears a weird resemblance to how Rhodey looked that one time Tony caught him with a Hammer gun. 

“Uhm. Stark Tower?”

Tony crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Why would we go there?”

Why would they even go to NYC? They already have Loki, even if he doesn’t look particularly chained up from where Tony’s standing and they’ve even gotten some of the brainwashed minions back. Shouldn’t they focus on the Tesseract now? Or barring that on pissing off Fury into telling them what else besides hella-illegal-if-anyone-knew-about-it weapons manifacturing they haven’t been told?

“...to regroup?” Rogers asks slowly.

Tony gives him the look that statement deserves.

“That sounds like a sensible course of action,” Thor adds. “And I would like to leave my brother in a place where he can rest.”

What high-level security cell wasn’t chill enough? Tony swallows that comment at the last second, vaguely remembering the protective fevor Thor has shown in defense of his brother and not at all eager to become its target.

“Hulk sleep,” Hulk says, not being much of a help at all.

Romanoff’s eyebrows judge them all.

“It’s decided then!” Rogers claps his hands, blatantly ignoring the lack of agreement from the sanest two people present. “Let’s go see if we can find a car to hotwire.”

Tony stares after him. “I can’t believe Captain fucking America just said ‘see if we can find a car to hotwire’.”

Romanoff scoffs, even as her gaze flickers restlessly back and forth between Rogers, Hulk and Thor and Loki. “I can’t believe they call him the man with a plan.”

“Well, no one said it had to be a good plan.”

“Don’t worry,” Rogers calls out over his shoulder, cool as a cucumber and doing a terrible job of concealing the amusement in his tone, “if a giant hole appears in the sky, you and Thor get to play flying taxi.”

Tony exchanges a glance with Romanoff -- not an easy thing to do considering his faceplate is still up -- and says quietly. “The scary thing is I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.”

“He’s not,” Romanoff deadpans.