#not all of my graphics are here cause some have fallen to an organization system lol

[alpinelogy]

sexiest thing to look at whenever i go to save a graphic

[self-loving-vampire]

Ultima VII Part Two: Serpent Isle (1993)

Summary

Serpent Isle is a direct sequel to the Black Gate. The arrival of the Guardian has been prevented and his cult has been outlawed and disbanded, but his most loyal follower has escaped to a place called the Serpent Isle to enact their backup plan.

But the Serpent Isle is not just an island, it is another world that you find yourself in after sailing your ship between the Serpent Pillars (yes, you get isekai’d while already living in another world).

This strange land is populated by people who fled from your lord long ago, and it seems to be suffering from an apocalyptic event that you soon experience for yourself, as a magical storm teleports your companions away and replaces most of the potent items you arrived with with random junk.

So your goals are clear: Recover your items, find the Guardian’s followers, and try to prevent the world’s destruction.

In many ways, Serpent Isle can feel like a more linear and limited game than the Black Gate (for one, you can’t own and freely sail a ship), but there are actually many things that I think it actually does better.

I played it using Exult and the SI Fixes mod.

Freedom

While Serpent Isle is not fully linear, it is definitely not nearly as open as the Black Gate was.

Where the Black Gate lets you travel nearly anywhere in the world almost immediately, even enabling several forms of transportation for this purpose, Serpent Isle initially allows only one section of the island to be explored with the rest opening up as one progresses through the game.

To its credit, the way in which these areas are locked off are sometimes reasonable and do not feel arbitrary. For instance, Moonshade is an island and nearly every ship in the land have been wrecked by the same magical storms that affected your party at the start of the game, so reaching it is not as simple as just buying a boat and going there.

There are other cases, however, where the restrictions do feel nonsensical. Such as the way the Bull Tower pikemen demand obscene amounts of money for the captain’s release but will happily accept a single much less valuable gold bar instead (since acquiring those is tied to a plot point). Then there’s all the stuff with the Hound of Doskar...

On the positive side, you can deal with various parts of the game in whatever order you desire within these limitations. This includes resolving the central quests in each of the land’s three cities in your own preferred order.

However, the game is still lacking in alternate solutions for quests in general. There are some decisions to be made, but they are rather minor in the grand scheme of things.

Character Creation/Customization

This aspect of the games is just as barebones as the Black Gate. You can only select your name, gender, and portrait. Your starting stats are pre-set and there are no further decisions to be made there.

However, Serpent Isle does have a marginal benefit over the Black Gate in that how you spend your training points matters a lot more, since you can’t just automatically max out your stats by completing the expansion.

Even then, there is not much to the character creation here at all.

Story/Setting

I think this is one of the game’s stronger points. The Black Gate may have had a larger world with more total settlements, but Serpent Isle’s three cities of Monitor, Fawn, and Moonshade are each significantly larger than the average Black Gate town and, most importantly, this world feels more dynamic.

Due to the way many of the game’s quests and events work, Serpent Isle manages to feel more alive than its predecessor. I will not spoil the details, but you often feel like something is always happening and like new developments are organically finding you rather than you having to actively search for them.

As has become typical of the Ultima series, the setting this time around is also centered around virtues, but in this case it goes beyond the Eight Virtues you mastered in the last trilogy.

Serpent Isle’s three cities are inhabited by the descendants of people who fled the reign of Lord British and who resent his edict of the eight virtues. The knights of Monitor considered Valor to be the highest virtue, the sailors of Fawn wanted to elevate Beauty as a virtue, and the mages of Moonshade did not feel that their profession should be associated with the virtue of Honesty.

But in addition to all that, much of the game revolves around learning about and mastering the ancient Ophidian virtue system, which functions differently from what you are used to. 

The Ophidian virtues are divided into Order (Ethicality, Discipline, Logic) and Chaos (Tolerance, Enthusiasm, Emotion). The forces composing both sides must be in balance to achieve a new set of principles (Harmony arising from Ethicality + Tolerance, Dedication from Discipline + Enthusiasm, and Rationality from Logic + Emotion).

The incoming apocalypse you face in the game is the result of a cosmic imbalance in these forces. The ancient Ophidians polarized into Order and Chaos factions that warred each other, with Order winning the war and destroying the Chaos Serpent, which causes the universe to begin unravelling.

While this game does have an antagonist, resolving this imbalance remains the most significant part of the game in terms of story.

The game also has multiple big scripted scenes that did not quite exist in the Black Gate, and the world as a whole changes dramatically partway through as a result of a certain event.

Immersion

As previously mentioned, things like the quest design and more dynamic world can help make this game more immersive than Black Gate in some ways. I am reasonably certain that some of the NPC schedules are a bit more complex this time around as well.

There are also a few new things, such as a frozen wasteland up north that you need warm clothes to traverse without freezing.

Apart from that, all the features mentioned in the Black Gate are still present here, such as weather, day/night cycles, and more.

But really I think one of the most significant differences is actually just the fact that you are significantly less overpowered than in the Black Gate and have less allies. I feel like that changes the feel of the game a lot on its own in ways that have to be experienced to be fully understood.

Gameplay

Combat is, as in Black Gate, automatic and uninteresting, though it is slightly more difficult now overall.

The rest of the gameplay is largely the same as in the Black Gate as well, though dialogue has been slightly expanded with more complex trees.

Really the main difference comes down to the differences in the world and available items rather than any mechanical changes.

Some of the most significant items are a ring (obtained from the Silver Seed expansion) that provides infinite magical reagents and a magical goblet that provides endless nourishment. These things are not nearly as broken as what the Forge of Virtue provides in the Black Gate, but are still nice conveniences.

While this game has less towns than its predecessor, it does have larger and more interesting dungeons overall. The one issue with them is that some of the puzzles in them are not very interesting (often amounting to just placing items on pedestals and such).

This is also where I should talk about one of the game’s major flaws: It is the first one where the influence of Electronic Arts began to manifest. It is nothing too major at this point (just wait until we get to Ultima 8 and especially Ultima 9) but it does mean there are some questlines that were left unfinished due to EA rushing things.

It’s not just questlines either. The towns were supposed to be larger and with more content, the player was meant to eventually gain a ship they could freely sail like in the Black Gate, and a major plot element had to be changed. The Silver Seed expansion in particular feels incomplete and inconsequential in terms of story, and is largely centered around four dungeons to explore for unique loot (both the dungeons and the loot are reasonably good at least).

I also dislike just how many plot-critical items are in the game. I would like to use my backpack space for other things.

The game also offers a decent amount of locations to explore, including many optional curiosities unrelated to the main quest.

Aesthetics

While the engine and graphics are largely the same as in the Black Gate, there have been graphical upgrades, most notably in the form of significantly more detailed and lifelike portraits for NPCs.

But I would say that the biggest aesthetic changes here have more to do with the game’s design and atmosphere. 

Serpent Isle is a far more unfriendly place than Britannia, and you will be accosted by assassins and deceivers during your quest. It makes for a more grim adventure.

The whole game has a much darker tone than any in the series since Ultima 5, I think. The world is completely falling apart due to the imbalance, with storms obliterating Fawn’s fleet, goblins making significant gains in their war against Monitor, and plagues are starting to break out. You do get the sense as you explore the world that this is a land experiencing its final days.

And things only get worse from here too.

I also like how unique several of the locations are. The city of Monitor is not just a walled city, it is populated by knights who organize into three different commands that rule the city. Meanwhile the city of Fawn is completely unlike any other in the series, being built entirely over the sea.

It is good stuff, and I wish they had had the time to expand and develop these locations as they had originally planned.

Accessibility

Exactly as good in this regard as the Black Gate, I think. Even the increased difficulty (which is still not enough to make this a “hard” game by any means) does not really matter since at the start of the game you get a magical hourglass that can be used to resurrect any fallen party members and the local monks will take care of your own mortality as well.

If there’s frustrations to be had here, they may come more from some of the less intuitive puzzles than anything and plot points than anything. The core gameplay is still extremely simple.

While the game can theoretically be played on its own, I strongly recommend playing at least the Black Gate first to learn a little about the events that led to this whole expedition. The two games really are part of the same package.

Conclusion

Between the Black Gate and Serpent Isle, I always got the impression that the Black Gate was the more popular of the two. I can understand why, as Serpent Isle was a bit rushed and lacks the open exploration that has defined the previous games in the series.

Despite this, I remember loving it about as much as the Black Gate largely because of the atmosphere and how the game feels. It is a particularly easy recommendation for those who enjoyed the previous game, as the engine and mechanics remain largely the same.

I also recommend this game for anyone who may be interested in following the story or looking for an immersive experience, but who doesn’t want to bother too much with stuff like combat or numbers. Even just watching the NPCs go about their day can be fun in this game.

[raptorsandpoultry]

DNA viruses in poultry

Thought I’d change things up a little a write about some of the stuff I learned in veterinary medical school this year! Here are some of the important viral diseases in poultry (this post will cover DNA viruses only - I’m hoping to write about the RNA viruses later this week). For a basic introduction to viruses, check out this link.

Chicken anemia

Caused by chicken anemia virus (CAV) from the Circovirus family, this disease affects poultry farms worldwide. It acutely suppresses the immune system of chicks, resulting in decreased appetite, lethargy, depressed behaviour, increased mortality within flocks, and severe anemia - an abnormally low number of circulating red blood cells. In affected chicks, the lymphoid tissue, which is a major component of the immune system and includes white blood cells, shrinks down or fails to fully develop. Infection with other viruses at the same time, severely worsens anemia and mortality. Chicks become resistant starting at 1 to 2 weeks after hatching, and infected adults usually experience no illness or egg production loss. Chicken anemia is prevented by vaccinating hens, who will then pass on immunity to their chicks. 

Marek’s disease

Marek’s disease virus, or gallid herpesvirus 2 (GaHV-2), exists worldwide and belongs to the Herpesvirus family. It occurs in a couple of different varieties, or serotypes. Serotype 1 viruses vary in terms of how likely they are to cause diseases, while viruses of serotype 2 are avirulent (do not cause disease) and are thus used to develop vaccines. This disease is the most common cause of lymphoproliferative (causing certain types of white blood cells to multiply at an abnormal rate) disease in 2 to 5 month-old chickens. 

Marek’s disease virus particles are transmitted in the air, so they usually end up infecting the lining cells of the respiratory tract after they are breathed in. The virus then spreads through the immune cells of various organs, and ultimately suppresses the entire immune system by multiplying, or replicating in key immune organs such as the thymus, bursa of Fabricius, bone marrow, and spleen. Cells within these organs are slowly killed, and fully infectious virus particles can only be found in dandruff from feather follicles.

Even chickens that seem perfectly healthy on the outside can be lifelong carriers, which means that they still carry virus particles and are able to shed them and infect other birds (although it cannot be transmitted from hens to their chicks through the egg). 1-day-old chicks who are susceptible to infection and do become visibly ill will begin to show signs at 3 to 4 weeks after infection. At 5 to 6 weeks, they will shed massive amounts of virus particles.

Marek’s disease is progressive and manifests as a few different syndromes, or groups of typical signs:

1) Classical Marek’s disease, which affects white blood cells associated with neurons, causes paralysis or one or both wings or legs, incoordinated movement, wing-drooping, and lowering of the head. This is the form of the disease that most people will be familiar with, and the photo below shows one of the most common postural abnormalities: (sorry for the lack of visuals in this post, I don’t want to fill your dash with anything too graphic!)

2) In the acute form, there is a massive and sudden outbreak in which many chickens within the flock show depressed behaviour, loss of coordinated muscle movements, and paralysis.

3) The ocular form causes immature forms of white blood cells to multiply and infiltrate one or both eyes, resulting in partial or total blindness.

4) The cutaneous form is seen as nodules or lumps at the feather follicles, and is most noticeable after chickens are plucked.

Veterinarians typically diagnose flocks with Marek’s disease based on general information about the flock, the age of the chickens, clinical signs, and post-mortem examination findings confirmed by histopathology (viewing tissue samples under a microscope). Genetically resistant lines of chickens can be produced, and it is possible to establish a flock that is completely free of Marek’s disease, but having it stay that way is very difficult.

Vaccination against Marek’s disease is successfully practiced around the world. Standard protocol is to vaccinate chicks at 1 day of age, but vaccines for 18-day-old embryos are becoming more widely available. Live vaccines that use more than one attenuated (weakened) serotype provide better protection. Genetically engineered vaccines are currently in development as well. 

Infectious laryngotracheitis

Also from the Herpesvirus family, ILT virus, or gallid herpesvirus 1 (GaHV-1), causes severe respiratory disease in adult chickens (inflammation of the larynx and trachea, or upper respiratory tract). Serious outbreaks occasionally occur in commercial flocks in countries such as Canada, while infections are endemic (regular) in some show and hobby farms. It can only be diagnosed through laboratory testing. Eye drop or drinking water vaccines are available, but do not consistently provide effective protection.

Avian pox

Avian pox is a slow-spreading disease of many different bird species, including chickens, turkeys, quail, pigeons, parrots, raptors, etc. It can be caused by many different species of viruses, but they all belong to the genus Avipoxvirus. These viruses are very resistant to drying out, and can survive for long periods in scabs, even after they have fallen off skin. It is commonly transmitted by parasitic insects, especially mosquitoes. 

There are two forms of avian pox:

1) the dry or cutaneous form, in which birds present with proliferative skin lesions on the face, beak, legs and feet, etc.

2) the wet or diphtheritic form, which affects the lining of the mouth, esophagus and sometimes the trachea. Birds with this form of avian pox are not expected to survive.

Avian pox is controlled by several types of vaccines.

Avian adenoviruses (uncommon)

There are many different serotypes of avian adenoviruses, and they are classified into 3 main groups: I - the fowl adenoviruses (FAdV); II (includes the turkey haemorrhagic enteritis virus); and III (includes the egg drop syndrome virus).

Fowl adenoviruses can be found within the respiratory and digestive tracts of both normal (infection is usually not obvious) and diseased chickens. The mechanisms by which they cause disease are not clear; howver, inclusion body hepatitis caused by certain types of fowl adenovirus result in inflammation of the liver and kidneys, bleeding within muscles, and sometimes anemia. IBH has also been documented in pigeons.

Turkey haemorrhagic enteritis virus infection causes acute inflammation of the intestines,abnormal cell growth in the spleen and liver, and possibly suppression of the immune system in young turkeys. The virus has also been found in chicken with enlarged spleens, and in pheasants with marbled spleen disease. There is a vaccine available for turkeys.

Egg drop syndrome is of major concern in Europe, but does not currently occur in North America. It may cause egg production losses in ducks (from which it originates), quail, and chickens. A vaccine is available in Europe.

Source: All info above is from my vet med school notes

[thehallofgame]

Review (Revisited): Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

Release: 2010

My Rating: 8/10 (up from 7/10 in my original review)

Kingdom Hearts Review Series: 1/8

Review under the cut,

Author’s Note: Typically I try never to repeat games on my blog. However, when I posted my Birth By Sleep review it was actually an archived copy from back when I started reviewing games as an exercise in 2014 and I hadn’t actually played it since then. When 2018 began and I was choosing my review series for the year I thought long and hard about making Kingdom Hearts 2018′s series and ultimately decided against it. And then, between the fact the old computer I play Tomb Raider on (the series I chose instead) dying and needing new parts, Kingdom Hearts III -still- projected to come out this year, and my need to play the series beginning to end before Kingdom Hearts III comes out I caved. The good new here is I can go over this review, give it desperately needed edits and an updated opinion. I’ll also be reaping my just deserts via having to play all the Tomb Raiders along side the Kingdom Hearts games this year, on top of everything else I want to play. Playing this again has also allowed my to develop a route list of my favorite path through the game (how to juggle all three characters and make the timeline make to most possible sense). I’ll upload that the second I’ve got it digitized and formatted.

             When Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep was announced many of us didn’t stop to ask for details before rushing out to buy a PSP. It was a game that’s very existence promised so much: answers to lingering questions in the Kingdom Hearts series, a convenient starting point to newcomers and perhaps a fresh perspective on the series. Some of those expectations were delivered, some less so.

             Birth By Sleep rewinds the clock to about ten years before the events of the first game, putting the player in the shoes of three different Keyblade bearers, each with their own individual story. These three routes can be played separately or all at once.

              I purchased this game a week after release but it took me four years to finish for the first time. The game is structured in such a way that it encourages playing the three stories in sequence, but I didn’t enjoy the interweaving nature of the three character arcs until committing to playing through all three plotlines simultaneously. I preferred the game this way, but unfortunately there’s not an easy method of switching between save files. You can neither choose to load another character’s file in game nor easily return to main menu to do so. In fact the player must quit the game entirely and reboot it to do so.

             The three stories occur during the same time period, with each character experiencing different angles of the story. Playing all three at once generally establishes a better feel of a complicated story, but also highlighted continuity errors where character show up in the same place at once or take inconsistent amount of time to travel from one place to another.

             Additionally, rather than clarify the Kingdom hearts universe, the addition of Birth By Sleep serves mostly to complicate it by adding more layers to the mystery of what kingdom hearts is, who the keyblade wielders are (and just how MANY of them there even are/were) and who, precisely, has been masterminding all these evil plots that cause young heroes to set out. This said, the story is heartfelt and emotional, with emphasis on the power of friendship. If you’re a returning fan of Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy the game provides some fan service in the form of cameos by a good portion of Organization 13 and one Final Fantasy character. As always, the game also visits several Disney worlds, some Kingdom Hearts staples and others new. Their inhabitants make appearances, and occasionally your character will from a relationship with them that will allow them to D-link with the character, allowing new unique abilities.

             As the three stories are complete the game gives you an overall completion score. The more completion you amass, the more of the post end-game story you unlock, including an extra level that ties off the game’s story and leads into the rest of the series. Unfortunately, the ability to unlock all the post game content is tied directly to the difficulty setting of each completed path, as well as the completion of some truly arbitrary goals.

At first the game does a good job of keeping the worlds interesting and juggling the different characters so that you never feel like you’re repeating the same steps three times in a row. However in late game the levels begin to drag and there’s less variation between the story each character experiences in the same world. For some the game may begin to feel grindingly repetitive.

             It is not helped by the fact that unless one invests time in exploring the combat and crafting system the enemies can sometimes suddenly level hike, leaving the player frustrated. Basic combat and exploration mimics other kingdom hearts games with the player obtaining simple abilities like jump, dodge and attack that get expanded on as the game progresses. What is new, however, is that in addition to magic, there are combat abilities that can be activated at will. You scroll through a wheel on the left side of your screen and trigger commands with the triangle button. These abilities will level up and will then can be used in a crafting system to produce new commands. This is a large part of character growth and customization that does need to be managed.There is a in-game store that can supply new moves, but its prices quickly grow steep and the best moves are only revealed after crafting them or finding them in treasure chests on the games’s levels.

Some of the other features the game pushes are less helpful. The D-link system mentioned above takes the place of traditional summons. This is most useful early-game before the player’s list of commands is very long. D-linking fully restores HP and gives characters access to new abilities from the character they’re ‘linked’ with. Another feature, the command board, is a board game themed mini-game in which characters are used as game pieces and the points earned on the board become experience. This can be useful for leveling commands, but can become somewhat tedious and is luckily completely ignorable. Meanwhile, the Mirage Arena takes the place of the Coliseum in other Kingdom Hearts games. There, online or off, you can battle through tournament style events to earn experience or participate in some of the mini-games present throughout the game’s levels.

Combat makes up a large part of the core gameplay, and it’s fast paced and usually quite varied. Bosses present decent challenges without becoming too bad, unless the player has fallen under level (or under-crafted, as the case may be.) Shotlock commands allow the player to charge a special, crowd-clearing attack. Finally, the limit break system is generally fun and satisfyingly powerful. In later game it is even possible to limit break the limit breaks, which is even more fun. However, limit breaks also include special abilities and finishers that can become minor hindrances. This is usually related to being stuck in a limit break enemies that just spawned in are strong towards, or having to watch lengthy animations play out after all the enemies have already been destroyed.

It’s worth a quick note to mention Birth By Sleep is a game that encourages the player to install disc data to a memory card to reduce load time. An investment in a larger memory card for this purpose is highly recommended because the load times in Birth By Sleep are ubiquitous, and even with maximum amount of data installed, the game bogs down in acts as simple as opening the menu.

Graphically Birth By Sleep heavily recalls the other Kingdom Hearts games with its anime styling and bright, solid colors. This also helps cover up the PSP’s graphical limitations which only very rarely become apparent. The worlds perhaps tend toward small, especially as most areas are reused three times. Some worlds and stories are significantly more expanded than others, which can be a little awkward.

Birth By Sleep was an experience plagued with highs and lows. It answered some questions but smugly left players with many more, as is the series’ wont. Furthermore, the game has a decent story with power that’s hampered by confusion and redundancy, generally good pacing that sometimes ground to a sudden halt, and a feeling that the game wasn’t quite everything one was expecting. Like most other Kingdom Hearts games what this needed more than anything else was a thorough edit. Taken as a whole Birth By Sleep is a game you either forgive and love anyway or remain exasperated with forever. It is probably not the best entry point for new players which is a little disappointing in a prequel, but if you’re a longtime fan it’s definitely in need of a play. 

My opinions have softened somewhat on a second pass through the game, probably because now that I’m fore-armed with knowledge of plot twists the story makes more sense. That said, there is something rather stubbornly smug about how confusing the game’s story is, and it could have done more to welcome new players. Especially as it’s now been re-released onto more mass market systems. That said I still believe it’s a solid outing and on-par with Chain of Memories and 358/2 Days as must-play Kingdom Hearts Spin-Offs.

[theonyxpath]

Another beautiful Chris Huth illustration from Cavaliers of Mars, this time in crisp, detailed, black and white line-art. Aesthetically, this is a look that our recent projects have tended to move away from in favor of staying current with audience expectations of full color, or at least some color. But it is a style and look I’ve always enjoyed and I was thrilled Rose wanted Cavaliers to embrace this style of art.

It’s also a style that I started with and love working in; pen and ink, mostly with a crowquill pen and some brushwork. As far back as the graphic novel I wrote and drew in grad school (based on a series of adventures in my D&D world), and a style I returned to recently for Nocturnal Media‘s re-push of the “Storypath Cards”. (No relation to our StoryPath System). Which are still coming soon, I hear.

    Lasombra for Prince’s Gambit clan card by Mark Kelly

      To continue the theme of what I’m up to, and you can see what else we’re all up to down in the BLURBS! section, here’s a rundown of the things on my To Do list for this coming week with no explanations provided:

Contact FG

C20 needs bookplate and dice- Q

Remind Q-Workshop *

Guys for Roll20/FG projects

Modify and create 2yr contract

Reply Ben

DE2 BackerKit finish*

Need W20 emails for Dice Roller

Write note for Pentex cover*

Reply Ed

Reply Rand

Start CtL2 KS

Talk Rose’s friend

Talk Eddy- SP rules

Sure would like to see Blade Runner

That’s what I’m starting the week with, and the real start on these items is always after getting this blog done each week.

    Beast Players Guide illustration by Brian LeBlanc

      The good news is that at the end of the week I’m going to attend the Save Against Fear convention in Harrisburg, PA. About 90 minutes away in the center of the state. Long time readers of this blog will no doubt recognize this con, and may even recall I’ve a big supporter since it started.

Why this con? Well, it’s run by the Bodhana Group, a non-profit organization of therapists, and proceeds go towards their efforts to meld their therapeutic techniques with tabletop gaming. This is a smart group of folks, and their mission to help people using RPGs is one that I’m proud that Onyx Path can be a part of.

Time and again, I’ve been told stories by members of our community about how X-game changed their lives. People who were able to confront their fears by first facing them in-character. Who learned how to deal with a social issue by playing through the permutations in-game. Who found a way to better face and understand their own lives through roleplaying sessions.

And people who were able to just generally deal with the real world by spending time in fictional ones. Some of you may have heard these sorts of things too, or even had this kind of experience while playing, yourselves.

The Bodhana Group are taking those general examples I’m giving here as springboards to a well-considered program of healing and therapy that provides tangible assistance to those who need it. They are doing the work to take these projects Onyx Path and other RPG companies create as entertainment and turn them into transformative tools that can intentionally change people’s lives.

Making cool games is very satisfying, and I love doing it, but what they do: that’s what art is all about.

    Giovanni for Prince’s Gambit clan card by Mark Kelly

    So come by to the Save Against Fear con if you are anywhere near the middle of Pennsylvania and lend your support for their great cause. (And if you are, it might just be the only thing to do in the middle of PA.) I’ll be there Saturday and I’ll be on a panel or just walking the show and talking to folks, and I’d love to say hi.

Different Worlds, One Path!

      BLURBS!

ON SALE!

YOUR COVER IS BLOWN! The Demon: The Descent Bundle of Holding  runs until the 23rd – unlocking new books as it runs!  http://ift.tt/ZkIwwy

      KICKSTARTER:

  The Cavaliers of Mars Kickstarter is closing in on 700% funded, with Stretch Goals including an Exclusive T-Shirt, an increased art budget, Postcards from Mars, and we’ve passed the goal that completes an additional book: City of the Towered Tombs, describing the bustling canal city of Vance, from the brooding waters and desperate criminals of the Dredge to the beautiful environs and macabre spectacles of the Hangman’s Garden. Delve into the affairs of colorful nobles and the schemes of the desperate criminals in this look at Mars’ greatest remaining city! If all that sounds interesting to you, here is the link: http://ift.tt/2jF6HdQ

  ON AMAZON:

  We’re delighted to announce the opening of our ebook store on Amazon! You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle. Our initial selection includes these fiction anthologies: Vampire: the Masquerade‘s Endless Ages, Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th Anniversary Edition‘s Rites of Renown: When Will You Rage 2, Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition‘s Truth Beyond Paradox, Chronicles of Darkness‘ God Machine Chronicle, Mummy: The Curse‘s Curse of the Blue Nile, and Beast: The Primordial‘s The Primordial Feast!

And now you can get these books in the Barnes and Noble Nook store too!

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Endless Ages Anthology

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Rites of Renown: When Will You Rage II

Mage: The Ascension: Truth Beyond Paradox

Chronicles of Darkness: The God-Machine Chronicle Anthology

Mummy: The Curse: Curse of the Blue Nile

Beast: The Primordial: The Primordial Feast Anthology

  And here are six more fiction books:

Vampire: The Masquerade: Of Predators and Prey: The Hunters Hunted II Anthology

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: The Poison Tree

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Songs of the Sun and Moon: Tales of the Changing Breeds

Vampire: The Requiem: The Strix Chronicle Anthology

Werewolf: The Forsaken: The Idigam Chronicle Anthology

Mage: The Awakening: The Fallen World Chronicle Anthology

  Andand six more more:

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Beast Within Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: W20 Cookbook (Kindle, Nook)

Exalted: Tales from the Age of Sorrows (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Tales of the Dark Eras (Kindle, Nook)

Promethean: The Created: The Firestorm Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Demon: The Descent: Demon: Interface (Kindle, Nook)

And even more books are going up on Amazon and the Nook store on Wednesday!:

Vampire: The Masquerade Dark Ages: The Cainite Conspiracies

World of Darkness: Strangeness in the Proportion

Vampire: The Requiem: Silent Knife

Mummy: The Curse: Dawn of Heresies

Scarred Lands: The Walled Warren

    We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there!

http://ift.tt/2w0aaEW

    Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://ift.tt/1ZlTT6z

You can now order wave 2 of our Deluxe and Prestige print overrun books, including Deluxe Mage 20th Anniversary, and Deluxe V20 Dark Ages! And Screens…so many Screens!

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://ift.tt/1pOsnTb

    ON DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

A Land Where Legends Walk

Drawing enthusiastically on Greek mythology, the revised and re-imagined Scarred Lands nonetheless retains its place as a modern fantasy RPG setting. This is a world shaped by gods and monsters, and only the greatest of heroes can expect to be counted among them. The most populous continent of Scarn, Ghelspad, plays host to vast unexplored regions, hides unsolved riddles from ancient cultures, and taunts adventures with the promise of undiscovered riches hidden among the ruins of older civilizations.

Yet the myths of the Scarred Lands are relatively recent events. The effects of the Titanswar still ripple through the world, and the heroines and villains of many of these stories are part of living memory, if not still living.

The Award-Winning Fantasy Setting Returns

Scarred Lands has been a favorite fantasy setting since the release of the Creature Collection for the d20 System in 2000. In subsequent years, over 40 titles were published for Scarred Lands, making it one of the most fully supported fantasy RPG settings ever and the premiere product line of Sword & Sorcery Studios.

Available in both 5th Edition and Pathfinder compatible versions! PDF and PoD formats available this Wednesday!

  Heroes, Villains, and Others in Between! 

This tome is a revision of the original book by the same title, originally published for use with 3rd edition rules for the world’s most popular roleplaying game. In this revised edition of The Wise & the Wicked, all the same characters have returned (and we’ve added some new ones, too!), for use with the Scarred Lands Player’s Guide. 

Champions of Gods and Titans 

The Wise & the Wicked introduces a rogue’s gallery of the Scarred Lands’ movers and shakers, characters who carry out the will of the gods or the fallen titans. These non-player characters can be friends, enemies, or simply convenient resources for the player characters in your game.

Inside, find villains such as King Virduk of Calastia, the Black Dragon, along with his wife, the beautiful (and black-hearted) Queen Geleeda; the Grand Vizier to King Virduk, the wicked warrior-mage Anteas; and the sinister general of Virduk’s northern armies, Archduke Traviak the Steel-Fisted. At the other end of the spectrum, meet the gracious Lady Ariniel, the Swan Knight, champion of Madriel; Kimer the Shatterer, bearer of the Earth Sword of Scarn and tenacious foe of the titanspawn of the north; and King Thain the Just, the Aleking, ruler of Burok Torn. And many others beside!

Here you’ll find a fascinating compendium of characters from the Scarred Lands, but easily transported into campaigns set elsewhere. In addition, find multiple appendices full of new magic items and artifacts, class archetypes and prestige classes, new feats, new creatures and races, and more.

Available in Pathfinder and 5th Edition versions! PDF and PoD formats available this Wednesday!

        From the massive Chronicles of Darkness: Dark Eras main book, we have pulled this single chapter, Dark Eras: God’s Own Country (Geist: The Sin-Eaters New Zealand 1950s). World War II is over and a new age of technology is coming, but a hidden storm threatens to overwhelm both the Maori and the European New Zealanders, flooding the world with the restless dead. The Bound are the last line of defense between a spirit-world gone mad and a sleepy island nation concerned with the advent of rock and roll and mourning their lost soldiers.

On sale in PDF and physical copy PoD versions on DTRPG! http://ift.tt/2kCGjSn

      EX3 Music Suite #1: Fanfare for the Chosen sounds off long and proud on DTRPG! http://ift.tt/2fHws8A

Fanfare for the Chosen includes inspiring soundtrack themes for each of the ten types of Exalted (Solars, Lunars, Sidereals, Dragon Bloodeds, Abyssals, Exigents, Getiminans, Liminals, Infernals, Alchemicals), to set the tone as you encounter these Exalted in your games or are seeking inspiration for new stories.

        From out of the Dreaming, the C20 Jumpstart: Yours To Keep PDF and PoD are now live on DTRPG.com: http://ift.tt/2fmlF3s

There is magic hiding everywhere. You just need to know where to look.

You are a changeling, a faerie soul hiding in a mortal body, fighting the chill of Nightmares and the oppressive weight of Banality with the pure creative power of Glamour. You have lived many lives, but the story of this one? It outshines them all.

In this hidden world, knights in steel and leather clash sword to sword outside the homecoming dance, dragons fly between skyscrapers, and fantastic castles rise from suburban lawns. A world of magic, intrigue, and adventure, and now that your fae side has awakened, it’s your world too.

“Yours to Keep” includes a rules and setting overview, as well as pre-generated characters and a complete introductory scenario for Changeling: The Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition. It’s perfect for jumpstarting a new Changeling chronicle!

    The PDF and PoD versions of C20 are now on DriveThruRPG.com: http://ift.tt/2w4Eq2m

Twenty years ago, White Wolf published Changeling: the Dreaming, the fifth of their promised five game-lines that together comprised the World of Darkness. Seen by some as a lighter, more fantasy-based setting in the modern-day, and by others as the darkest game White Wolf had yet created, players had to face the question of what happens once creativity and magic fades from their world.

This 20th Anniversary Edition of Changeling: the Dreaming returns to that deceptively bright yet terrifying world and both compiles and completes the concepts of the previous two editions. Led by veteran White Wolf and Onyx Path developer “Blackhat” Matt McFarland, our writing team consists of longtime Changeling creators like Ian Lemke, Jackie Cassada, Nicky Rea, and Peter Woodworth, as well as familiar names such as John Snead, Maggie Carrol, Matthew Dawkins, and Krister Michl. One and all are dedicated to making Changeling: the Dreaming Twentieth Anniversary Edition the most playable edition yet – while not losing the wonder, awe, and majesty that Changeling is known for.

A revised and up to date look at the World of Darkness through the eyes of the Kithain – what has happened to the Dreaming in the last 20 years, and what is the state of Glamour and dreams?

Rules for all of the kiths including in 2nd ed, plus fan favorites from other books: selkies, piskies, clurichaun, and both Arcadian and Concordian sidhe.

Rules for the Gallain: The inanimae, the hsien, the Nunnehi, and others!

An overhauled and reimagined system for fae magic, including new Arts and the powerful but dangerous practice of Unleashing!

New full-color beautiful artwork as well as classic Changeling illustrations including remastered full page pieces of the kiths by Tony Diterlizzi.

          Calling all Good Dogs! The Pugmire Core Rulebook PDF is now available on DTRPG.com!

http://ift.tt/2wAaAp3

And the actual physical book, screen, and dice, are available to order on the IPR and Studio2 websites!

Studio2: http://ift.tt/2w0aaEW

          Satyr Phil Brucato beckons you once more into the Annex of Mage: The Ascension with this 300 page follow-up to M20. The M20 Book of Secrets is NOW on sale in PDF and PoD versions at DTRPG.com! http://ift.tt/2tKyJtb

More Than Magick

For mages who think they have everything, this trove of treasures expands upon the wealth of material presented throughout Mage: The Ascension’s 20th Anniversary Edition. New Traits, new rules, essays, answers, information… the Secrets are revealed within.

Enter the Annex

Building upon the M20 core rulebook, this Book of Secrets features updated rules and setting material, such as…

An M20 FAQ Genres & Resources

Matters of Focus Justice & Influence

New Abilities, Archetypes, Merits & Flaws

Expanded Rules for Combat, Resonance, Wonders, Computer Systems, and More

This Ascension Continues…

        What dark secrets do the eldest vampires hold? Find out in Thousand Years of Night for Vampire: The Requiem! Advance PDF version available now on DriveThruRPG.com. http://ift.tt/2sV8lZR

You may think that with a multitude of people coming, going, dying and running away, we’d be tired, done, or ready to give up. Instead, I find myself restless, looking for the next thing.  There’s always a next thing, and I for one am not yet ready to die.

– Elder Kincaid, Daeva Crone

This book includes:

• Detailed instructions on creating elder vampires, including how to base chronicles around them

• A look into the lives of elders, how they spend their nights, who they work with, and why including their roles in both their clans and covenants

• New Devotions, Merits, and Rituals for elder vampires

• The kinds of creatures that pose a threat to elder vampires, including Inamorata, Lamia, Sons of Phobos, a new elder conspiracy, and more!

          CONVENTIONS!

I’ll be at Save Against Fear in Harrisburg PA on Saturday, walking the floor and chatting with folks. Might be on a panel or two. See above for my thoughts on this very worthwhile convention. http://ift.tt/2cE742J

  Fast Eddy Webb will be running Pugmire during the online convention Gauntlet Con: http://ift.tt/2sSctbs which runs from Oct. 20 – 22. Here is the sign-up link for the event which will be live-streamed. Currently three of six seats are still open: http://ift.tt/2xt3HaM

  In November, we’ll be at Game Hole Con in Madison, WI. November 2-5: http://ift.tt/2xsOnuzMonica Valentinelli (Hunter: the Vigil 2e, Dark Eras), Manda Collis (Exalted 3e), Scott Holden (Scarred Lands), Matt M McElroy (Operations Manager) and other folks from the OPP crew will be there!

  Also in November, the Onyx Path crew including Rich, Matt, Lisa, Neall, Dixie, and Meghan will be at the first ever PAX Unplugged in Philadelphia, November 17-19. http://ift.tt/2kBzmfv

  Planning ahead for 2018, we’re heading back to Midwinter Game Convention in Milwaukee, January 11-14, where we’re going to be bringing a big crew of many of your favorite Onyx Path designers and we’ll be running demos and making some special announcements at the show!  http://midwintergamingconvention.com

  And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM ROLLICKING ROSE (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Gods and Monsters (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

C20 Novel (Jackie Cassada) (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Monarchies of Mau (Monarchies of Mau)

Night Horrors: The Tormented (Promethean: The Created 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

They Came From Beneath the Sea! Rulebook (TCFBtS!)

  Redlines

Kithbook Boggans (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

  Second Draft

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Exalted 3rd Novel by Matt Forbeck (Exalted 3rd Edition)

  Development

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

SL Ring of Spiragos (Pathfinder – Scarred Lands 2nd Edition)

Ring of Spiragos (5e – Scarred Lands 2nd Edition)

Scion: Origin (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Hero (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Core Rulebook (The Trinity Continuum)

Trinity Continuum: Aeon Rulebook (The Trinity Continuum)

GtS Geist 2e core (Geist: the Sin-Eaters Second Edition)

The Realm (Exalted 3rd Edition)

  WW Manuscript Approval:

  Editing:

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Pugmire Pan’s Guide for New Pioneers (Pugmire)

Dragon-Blooded (Exalted 3rd Edition)

  Post-Editing Development:

W20 Changing Ways (Werewolf: the Apocalypse 20th Anniversary Edition)

Changeling: the Lost 2nd Edition, featuring the Huntsmen Chronicle (Changeling: the Lost 2nd Edition)

DtD Night Horrors: Enemy Action (Demon: the Descent)

  Indexing:

    ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

W20 Pentex Employee Indoctrination Handbook

Cavaliers of Mars

W20 Changing Ways

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Scion Origins

Ring of Spiragos

Book of Freeholds

DtD Enemy Action

C20 RMCs – Finishes coming.

Changeling: the Lost 2 – ADing. Getting art in for KS a priority.

Trinity Continuum – Splats for core book with Mr Jones

  Marketing Stuff

  In Layout

Beast PG

Becket’s Jyhad Diary – Adding typo corrections and tweaking some of the textures.

Pugmire/Scarred Lands Community Content

VtR Half Damned 

  Proofing

Ex 3 Arms of the Chosen 

Wraith 20

Prince’s Gambit – Going to WW for approval

M20 Cookbook – With Phil for proofing.

  At Press

Beckett Screen – Shipped to shipper.

Scarred Land PGs & Wise and the Wicked PF & 5e – On a boat to the US. PoDs on sale Wednesday.

VTR: Thousand Years of Night – Files updated and PoD processing.

Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition) – Deluxe Edition cover and Screen in the works.

CtL Huntsmen Chronicle Anthology PDF – getting PDF ready.

Art of Mage – Ordered PoD proofs.

Pugmire Trick, Condition, and Initiative Cards – PoD proofs ordered.

V20DA Jumpstart – PDF going out to backers this week.

  TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: Today is the day that some people celebrate a traditional event that may or may not be about a guy who might have been a daring explorer and/or a vile abuser. History marches on, and our understanding changes. Both our personal understanding, and our society’s. To me, that’s this day’s lesson and reason to celebrate: that we can grow and understand more and look behind the simplified lessons learned in our childhoods.

[jflashandclash]

Attrition of Peace

Twenty-Five: Ajax

“Because Dad Loves You More,

I’ll Put Your Face through the Floor.

Haiku that, You Bitch.”[1]

 Warning! Graphic depictions of violence. Sad Pax baby. Unfortunately no weasels. But seriously, this chapter is the majority of the reason this book is rated M. Regardless, thanks for reading! :D

                 Pax felt like he’d really screwed up Alabaster’s Daily To Do List big time.[2] He imagined the first note was consistently: keep Jack from murdering people. When trapped under a net, Pax didn’t think he could do that. He wasn’t sure he could do that when he wasn’t trapped under a net.

               Will Solace gasped in air. Although he couldn’t sing, he still must have had some healing capabilities. Unlike Piper or Annabeth, he managed to keep on his feet, mouthing the words to some song. Pax liked to imagine it was Steal My Sunshine.

               Will fumbled in his medical fanny back, jamming something into his mouth—likely an ambrosia square. Then he tossed one to Annabeth and one to Piper.

               There was no way Piper could ingest it. She’d collapsed onto the ground. The ends of her feathers were soaked in vomit. In the eerie cast of silver light, Pax could see a darker, thicker substance dribbling from her beautiful mouth. She clutched her stomach, her breath rattling like a hoard of tiny chipmunks were going nuts on… well, some nuts in her throat.

               Jack stepped up and kicked the square from Annabeth’s outstretched hand. He’d never stopped producing the abominable screeches of song with the occasional retch of laughter.

               “Stand apart and fall together.

               Nothing ever lasts forever.”[3]

               When they were back at Camp Othrys, Pax remembered how euphonic and soothing Jack’s voice had been. When they had nightmares, Jack would sing them back to sleep. Here, now, this shriek was that of monsters and machines. On the ground, beside the two withering from pain and expedited atrophy, Pax understood the emotion The Plague Bringer’s name conjured. It wasn’t happy.

               Will had regained enough strength to whisper-sing a heal. As the words came out, Pax winced. It was a song Will probably sang to Nico when they were curled up. “Every time you kiss me, it’s like sunshine and—”

               Pax could tell Will must have an amazing country voice when he was at full power, but he wasn’t. His voice was hoarse and sickly. He’d just gotten enough strength to notch an arrow on his bow. Pax wondered if he could even pull it back.

               But Pax couldn’t focus on them.

               Annabeth had collapsed onto her face. She stared at him with glassy eyes and mouthed the words, help them.

               Yep, that was going to haunt him.

               Pax scrambled, dropping the lollipop Will had given him. He rolled the net, snatched up the fallen ambrosia squares, twisted to Annabeth, and shoved the square into her mouth.

               Beside him, he could hear Jack’s thrilled giggle as he hissed, “Have you ever had chickenpox, Will? Because I’m going to give you a late stage of shingles. I’ve been told it’s very painful.”

               Something cracked beside him. The shattered splinters of a long bow exploded over Pax’s head and showered into the grass. Trying not to focus on it was like trying to ignore a goat licking your foot, but Pax twisted to Piper.

               He also tried to ignore the liquidy thing that went squish as he knelt by her. The soil reeked of bile and iron. When he offered the ambrosia square to her lips, she sputtered out more spittle and blood.

               “Holy Titans,” Pax sobbed. By this point, he was surprised he could still be crying, but he choked on tears. This was like a triathlon for his tear ducts. He didn’t want Piper to die. She was sickly pale and black nodes were sticking out of her neck. One had broken open, leaking something white and red down her neck and into her jacket.

               She needed this ambrosia inside her system. But—

               “Sorry-not-sorry,” he whispered and shoved the ambrosia square into the open sore.

               Piper whimpered. Although she remained curled forward, clutching her stomach, she stopped vomiting. She tried to speak, but nothing would come out.

               Now, on to the fun task: Jack.

               “Because Dad loves you more,

               I’ll put your face through the floor.

               Haiku that, you bitch!”

               Jack shrieked with glee.

               Pax had to give him props for composing poetry while on a homicidal rampage.

               When Pax glanced up, he saw Jack prepare to dive at Will. Not to say his surrogate father figure would lose the fight, but even a trembling, rash-covered Will could probably wrestle the pink-clad Jack to the floor. Will stepped backwards to brace for impact, holding a scalpel in one hand. His breath was raspy as he kept trying to sing.

               Jack tossed his electric base to the side as he dove. The corner of the instrument was cracked. He must have used it earlier as a weapon. There was blood soaking his forearm, probably where Will tried to slice his wrist.    

               When Will’s foot made contact with the grass, he grunted in pain and stumbled, completely losing his footing.

               Pax remembered what the Goddess of Mischief and Ruin said: Two demigods with one nail.

               Will stumbled backwards and crashed onto his back. His shirt slid up, revealing red rashes encasing his torso.

His aim was off when Jack followed after him. Instead of cutting through Jack’s jugular—where Pax assumed he was aiming—his scalpel jammed into and through Jack’s cheek.

               With the misstep, Jack smashed him into grass.                When Will tried to withdraw the scalpel to jam it into Jack’s neck, Jack grabbed Will’s wrist.

“I’m going to heal you,” Jack shrieked with mirth as he straddled him, “And then I’m going to cut your foot open and give you accelerated gangrene so you can watch your leg rot!” He didn’t care about the hole in his cheek; something Will neglected to point out as a horrific misstep in clinical cleanliness. To be fair, Pax realized Will was distracted.

Jack spat blood into Will’s face. Will reached up to jam his thumbs at Jack’s eyes.

Instead of wrangling Will’s other hand, Jack dug his nails into the rashes on Will’s torso.

Will released the hoarsest scream Pax had ever heard, almost like someone had done chest compressions on a corpse for kicks and giggles. Will writhed in pain. Tears glistened on his cheeks. Although Pax felt like he was trying to scowl stoically at Jack, Will looked scared.

“That’s right, little brother. Because you’re one of Dad’s favorites. I just wish it was daytime, so Dad could hear you shriek and scream to die. Maybe I’ll give you appendicitis next. I’d love to feel your organs rupture.”

Jack jerked his head down and snapped his teeth into the rashes.

Will released another airy squeal. With Jack off balance, he bucked and managed to dislodge his older half-brother. But Pax could tell Will was getting too weak to fight back. He trembled violently from whatever fever he had and couldn’t seem to lift himself more than a few inches off the ground.

Someone tugged on Pax’s arm gently and almost made Pax yelp. He didn’t realize he’d been frozen in horror until Annabeth, sweaty and crawling, touched his arm. She’d cut a section of his net with her dragon bone sword.

The rest of her strength was spent by whatever illness she was suffering. Annabeth collapsed, staring at him.

Fortunately, Pax didn’t need to be a daughter of wisdom for this part.

He snatched up her sword, cutting the hole wider.

“Jack—Jack stop!” Pax begged. He needed to act fast. As soon as he’d squirmed through the net, Pax grabbed the closest thing to him—Jack’s ankle.

Pax pulled.

“Not ‘ha ha’ funny, Jack! Please stop—”

Jack kicked him in the face.

Pax flopped backwards, dropping Annabeth’s sword.

When Pax looked up, he could see Jack crouched. He ripped an embedded scalpel out of his arm. Blood spurted out. “You went for my brachocephalic artery, you little bitch!” Jack laughed. “Well, if we wanna play like that—Walk in the world, it’s so empty and dull—”

Jack reached behind himself and picked up his electric base by the neck.

From where Pax had landed, he couldn’t see much more of Will than where his legs squirmed. Pax scrambled to grab Jack as the child of Apollo hefted the electric base like a battle axe.

“In the land of the beautiful, beauty is cold.”

Before Pax could get close enough, Jack brought his electric base down.

There was a loud crack.

Will’s legs twitched violently.

The base broke at the neck. Jack snatched up the main part of the body and slammed it downward again.

Pax cried. He wasn’t sure what he was shouting at Jack, but he knew it didn’t matter anymore. This time, he slammed bodily into Jack, knocking him off his little brother.

Far in the distance, Pax heard a horrible wail of rage and pain.

This time, the loud crack came from the ground beside them as a fissure split open.

They had to roll to avoid tumbling into the crevasse of blackness.

“Oh no,” Pax whispered.

Somewhere, probably several houses down by how faint the call was, he could hear, “NICO! STOP!”

Pax dragged Jack to his feet. Although Jack grinned like a monster, Pax needed to get him out of here. First, he had to give Will ambrosia—or a smilie Band-Aid—or find the lollipop he’d dropped as a sorry my friend tried to kill you—

Pax glanced over at Will, hoping the electric base had been a glancing blow.

Tried…

Tried was the wrong word for what Jack had done.

A dark shade rose from beside Will’s body. All the grass around Will withered into dried shrivels. When Nico stepped out of the shadows, the intensity in his black eyes was more terrifying than anything Pax had seen from Jack… and clearly Jack wasn’t right in the head.

Nico didn’t look completely human. His form flickered in and out of shadow like the scattered reels from an old movie.

Pax cowered backward, edging around the fissure that Nico must have caused.

He thought he’d have time to tell Jack to run, even if he didn’t think Jack would run.

Nico leaned forward to sprint—

--disappeared into shadows—

--and reappeared beside the Plague Bringer with his sword drawn.

Jack couldn’t sing a single verse.

Three feet of stygian iron sliced cleanly through his neck.

A thump hit the ground by Pax’s feet.

A second later, Jack’s corpse crumbled.

Pax opened and shut his mouth. That happened so fast, he wasn’t sure he’d seen it. Faintly, he thought he could hear Jack singing about losing his mind over love, but that couldn’t be right. Jack’s vocal cords were too far from his lungs to do that.

Nico turned to Pax. Sort of. His form fuzzed in and out of shadow. Pax remembered Will—back at camp—cutely fussing over Nico for using his powers, scared Nico might puff into moonshine, vapors, and Halloween decorations. The thought of the sunboy’s happy disposition contrasted with Will’s current smashed and bloodied face…

Pax tried to think of how to talk his way out of this. I didn’t—So, I know this looks bad, but you don’t really want to wish me out of existence, right? I really am thinking about your own good…

But Pax didn’t have to. As soon as he took another step backwards, a skeleton hand shot out of the dirt, anchoring his foot.

Nico’s sword slipped out of his hands. Really, through was a better word.

Then death boy froze like a statue.

The skeletal hand slackened on Pax’s ankle.

A woman laughed—someone he’d heard earlier that night.

A half-mummified, half-blood drained shade shifted into Pax’s sight: Melinoe.

               Her blackened stump of a hand clenched beside Nico’s stiff form, like she’d wrapped him in bubble wrap and held the ends there. “Percy can’t save you this time, Nico,” she hissed. “In this condition, you’ll make the perfect shadow bridge for my ghosts to come in their true form.”

               Pax thought Jack’s singing was getting louder. “Shut up,” he whispered. In the distance, from the same direction he’d heard the shouts, several figures were rapidly approaching.

               “L-let him go!” Pax snapped at Melinoe.

               She hissed out a laugh. “Oh, if I do that now, he’ll disperse into shadows. Now,” she spoke louder as the others grew near, “Thank you, Ajax. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

 Song inspiration: Entire scene was conceived listening to Hollywood Undead’s Disease, but the scene was written to Aria—inflammation (Kill Bill music video), Dear Alice—Arai Tasuku (Fake-AMV/MAD) and Sufjan Stevens—4th of July (Tokyo Ghoul “Why do you Cry?”).

Footnotes:

[1] Like father, like son.

[2] Mel Beta Note: I feel like Pax’s existence messes up all of Alabaster’s lists. “I didn’t plan to do this,  didn’t plan to do that, I didn’t plan to question my sexuality….”

[3] This, and the quote about beauty later, are from the song “Disease” by Hollywood Undead. This is also the song Jack is strumming when he introduces himself in the last chapter.

[twistedteam]

e3 day 1 EA

Oh boy, here we go. Another year, another e3 and we are starting off this year with EA. The big question, will EA learn from past mistakes and show off some real games instead of focusing on, you know, sports? The answer, no. Not at all. But let's dive into the press conference game by game as Tisha from twistedteam's Topshelf goes over what she thought of the opening conference of e3: What went well? (actually a couple of things) What didn't? (spoiler alert, a lot of things) And how awkward can one presentation be? (the answer so very very awkard) We’re sticking it under a read more because there is a lot to talk about. 

So it's start off with a football player drum line, because if Sony can pull off drums last year, then so can we.

Everyone looks so bored in the audience. They might have fallen asleep. I know I was tempted. But c'mon guys you are supposed to bring the energy. Seriously did people just come to sit down? Are they tired from a long trip? Did they just kind of accepted their fate of this being a bad presentation and don't want be there but have to be from obligation? I dunno it's already setting a mood of a resounding…meh.

EA starts off with Battlefield 1 a war multiplayer game. New content has arrived and wow. Women's battalion of death? Sounds badass. It also starts off our counter of how many games will have female characters. My bet is not many, but I have hope. Still some badass ladies from history that has me intrigued in this game.  Name of the Tsar seems like a cool map. The trailer with the Russian woman narration was pretty badass. However I have not played the actual battlefield game so I can't really comment on how different it will be. War games not my thing, but the streamers make it seem pretty cool. And it managed to wake up the audience a little bit so it can't be all that bad. And then we go to sports and the audience tucked themselves back into nap time as we all try to wait out the sports for some actual good games. Poor presenter thought the 1 laugh was about what he said, but I'm pretty sure it was for the streamer pic in the background with prayer hands. Also I guess FIFA and Madden was a big competition??? They tried to make it more intense than it probably was, which is just weird. Also I noted it was just a sea of dude bros playing sports in video game format, but eh. To each their own.

Unpopular opinion time, I actually thought the blazer guys were funny. They probably would have done better if there wasn't already so much bitterness towards EA sports at e3. Also the lack of laughter just makes it so awkward, which isn't the first or last time this conference. Dead silence. I like them, they almost made sports bearable.

Speaking of which, I may not know sports, but I have not even heard a hint of Alex Hunter before, but I guess he's famous???? Still story mode in FIFA would actually make the game playable to me…. Not that I would spend money on a sports game. Best of luck to Alex Hunter, congrats.

Jesse, the hip youtube creator they brought in, is so nervous and bad at presenting its adorable and also sad. I feel so bad for him. Even the audience woke up from their very long nap to kind of cheer him on. He is flubbing so bad though. I wonder if he's ever been in front of an audience that he can see before. Public speaking is an important class in school folks.

Need for Speed adds in a Fast and the Furious vibe, which would actual make a car game playbable beyond racing everywhere. Also we have our second female character in a game! Add it to the tally! She sounds like the stereotypical, I have 3 brothers and that’s why I cars kind of character, but I'll take whatever I can get. The house cards villains seem like a cool concept. Someone at EA has a boner for slow-mo because this trailer is full of it. And Jess is a badass, and best part of the trailer.

A Way Out seems okay. Co-op sounds like fun times. I can see myself playing it with Breen and finding ways to make her die I mean ways to work with her to get out of jail. The graphics aren't too bad. Though it seems we would have to be in the same room to get the full experience as it was intended, so that wouldn't be happening any time soon. Also it's kind of eh? Another game with white guy protag, but I'll keep an open mind. I will say this. The creator is hella cute. And is trying to latch onto the brief moment of hype from the audience who woke up to see how pretty this man is. Too bad it interrupted his train of thought. I actually think this guy has gotten the most cheering out of the whole presentation.

I guess there's a new division, sounds pretty good, but we'll see. But oh frostbite, someday you'll learn that you are wasted on sports games.

A random Bioware appeared with a new game to tease. Like a siren call in the fog of sports. It's not dragon age but bioware knows it has me in its death grip. Looks like Fallout and aliens combined. Anthem looks nice, but hella vague. I want to know more, but we'll have to wait for microsoft to show us more during their time.

And back to sports…… surprisingly the audience actually started clapping more.

Good graphics are wasted on sports games, that's all I'm going to say.

Play to Give sounds pretty cool. And I definitely appreciate the He for She gender equality, the anti-bullying, and the ditch the label organizations they partnered with. Good for them. Free games also sound very nice. I should check out the free trials…oh, I forgot it's mostly sports.

And here is what everyone came for, Star Wars. Here comes Janina who I'm pretty sure can step on me and I would not protest it. She looks like a boss and could kill a man. Goals. Audience is still way too small for the hype these announcers were expecting. I'm counting this as girl character game for Star War battlefront II which should barely count because it's based on movies with actual girl characters, but I need all I can get, tso that brings us to three which is good for the first day of e3.

I feel you pretty lady about sucking at multiplayer, but I'm sure we'll both get better. I really want her dress.

The new class system will allow more control over the character which is a nice touch. Star Wars battlefront has pretty graphics, looks pretty cool, also that darth maul appearing to kill off spare storm troopers was great and made for a very epic trailer. Good job. John Boyega, my man, made my day appearing to talk about his character. I'm so proud of him. Fin is going to appear in the game and even better news is you won't have to pay extra. Free content is music to my ears. I want to play with John Boyega, I wonder what are the odds of doing that. Not sure I want to buy the game, but I appreciate all the free content, diversity, and great graphics of Star Wars battlefront II.

As it continues on, it is very apparent that the audience is very confused when to clap and it makes it very awkward which is the theme of this presentation.

Watching the gameplay lets us see how a typical match will go and my favorite part was cause of death, yourself. Fighter ship crashed into the tower right away. Who went to the future and recorded me playing this? Overall, looks like fun.

So to recap, EA once again demonstrates that they really love sports. Like really love those balls and guys. Just dudes and guys with balls. On one hand I get this. Because if you ask most casual or general male gamers about video games, the sports games are the first ones they will mention. Dude bros love Madden. So I imagine it sells well. However, those guys typically don't watch e3 as far as I know. It's a press conference about video games, and spending so much time and money with the sports doesn't look too well. And EA has the capacity for good games that aren't sports, but those games usually get shoved aside. It's better than last year, but only barely. The literal seconds of bioware was great, but then back to sports. Hopefully we'll hear more, but Bioware is still trying to recover from overhyping Mass Effect Andromeda from last year. (I actually really loved that game btw) So maybe this time they are choosing to lay low, but who knows. The other issue was the audience wasn't really participating if that makes sense. They were quiet and while there wasn't much to go off they didn't really get into the presentation which made the whole thing, as I mentioned so many times already, awkward. Presenters, like you're supposed to do, would pause for applause that just wasn't there or not as loud as it should have been. Overall I'd give EA a D+. The bioware, starwars, free content, and some surprise games manage to lift it up from complete failure, but not as much as I would have liked. Better luck next year EA.

[ecotone99]

[RF] [MS] [TH] Escapism

I came-to midway through a vivid dream. I was not in my bed. I was not lying down. I was standing; staring blankly outside a broken window from the first floor. The glass clung to the skeleton of the window frame in lonely, trianguloid polygons. The sill was covered in scratches, and caked with grime, and seemingly years’ worth of dust. It looked especially filthy after the recent bursts of rain had blessed it with moisture.

I could smell my sweat; it was a sweetish sort of odour. My wet T-shirt was stuck to my back. My legs felt weak.

Outside, I could only see the forest of triangular, perhaps, coniferous trees all the way to the end until they went out of sight. It was dusk. As if in response to my observation, the remaining slice of the large crimson disk hid itself behind the safety of the shadowy mountains, as if it too was afraid of being ripped right out of the sky by a species prone to pillage, exploit, and destroy all that was natural, including themselves, and each other.

The sky was aglow in funereal orange; the clouds were heavy, sombre, and gathering. They looked like they were mourning the cowardly departure of the sun, or rather, were they celebrating it?

The agitated inhalations and exhalations of the flower-patterned curtains seemed to reflect my own condition. They were stained and damp as well. Like me, I thought. The damp, dirty smell of wet cloth hung in the air.

I blinked and returned to myself. I had been staring outside the window for quite some time now. I had forgotten what I was going to do, and I could no longer remember what I was dreaming about either. I didn’t know where I was or how I got there. I turned around to behold a dilapidated room. I didn’t know where I was, nor what I was here for or how I got here.

An immediate fear materialised somewhere within my gut and a rush of paralysis entombed my body. I was unable to move. I had gone from dazed to wide awake in thirty seconds. And from wide awake to deadly scared in another twenty. A static, spidery electricity seemed to have zapped my stomach.

The thought of computer filesystems came to mind. There are a bunch of different choices out there – for Linux users. Windows users can only use the NTFS file system. Windows’ NTFS can’t even mount Ext4 but Ext4 can mount NTFS. Momentarily, I contemplated a sexual connection between the two inanimate filesystems.

A filesystem determines the way data is accessed and stored. You have different types of filesystems such as Ext4, which is the most commonly used Journaling file system. Then there’s Btrfs (pronounced butterFS) which is an advanced copy-on-write file system. There are also other ones such as XFS, which I use, and ZFS. All of them function in different ways and are ideal for different use cases.

A filesystem helps a computer keep track of where every file is stored so the files don’t get lost in the delirious planes of 1s and 0s. Every read and write operation, no matter how small, is logged. And metadata about these operations is stored, and there are event files, and everything else that enables the computer to never forget how to interpret any binary data, or where it is stored.

Mostly even in the case of power outages, using metadata and logs, a filesystem can get back to where it lost its track of its work, but sometimes it becomes unable to figure that out. Or sometimes the hardware itself, that it operates on, starts to behave erratically, and that’s when all computer hell breaks loose. Everything will go wrong and get worse from that point on. The data can become mangled and interfere with other data too. It’s a mess. Ensue binary delirium.

Well then, I thought, which bug is affecting my filesystem, causing it to malfunction this spectacularly?

The last thing I could remember was watching a documentary film with Amanda. We were on a short vacation trip in the middle of Europe, and we were living at her elder sister’s house. It was afternoon, and Amanda was in one of her odd moods. She was deeply engrossed in watching the narrator describe in graphic detail, with photographic evidence, how the infamous serial killer, Jefferey Dahmer had sex with his victims, killed them, had sex with their dead bodies, photographed them, dismembered them, sometimes preserving the finer looking genitalia, and then, for him, the rest was just dissolve, drain, and repeat, if you know what I mean.

The scene cut. For me, it was all about the control, Jeffery Dahmer said, I wanted a completely obedient person under my full control. Living humans were too much hassle. So, I killed them, but that was not idea. That’s why I tried to puncture a hole in one of their skulls and poured acid inside in hopes that I could try make them more obedient. A picture of a sexually positioned torso appeared, its chest ripped open, and blackish organs spilling out. I felt nauseous even looking at it, so I looked at Amanda instead. She was engrossed. Amanda was so deeply obsessed with these things: sometimes it frightened me.

Every so often she would pause the movie and sit in silence, lost in thought. I watched her face closely. Sometimes small lines of tension formed on her forehead in response, as the documentary went on. What was she thinking? I wondered. Then, I asked her this. She didn’t even hear it, and if she did, she ignored it. I reached out to touch her breast, more to snap her out of it than in a sexual manner, and she hit my hand. Hard. She immediately apologised. Not right now, she said, not when I’m thinking, and she fell silent again. I didn’t try to touch her breast again.

I don’t remember what we did next. That was the last thing I remember, and it was probably this afternoon when these events took place.

The room that I found myself in was full of dust. If I had any term to describe the room with, I wouldn’t use abandoned, dilapidated, ominous, foreboding, flaking, run-down, collapsing, fear-inducing, paralysing, claustrophobia inducing, or such, despite it being all the above. I would say it was Dusty. The most prominent thing was dust. Everything was covered with layers of dust, undisturbed, for years at stretch, by any intelligent life. And it was not the light kind of dust that could be blown away in a breath, but sticky, heavy dust that had settled deeply into this room and burrowed into its metaphorical soul like a parasite into its host. The particles were heavier and larger than usual. It had descended endlessly and declared everything an extension to itself. Everything: the flaky walls, the moist, leaky ceiling, the rotting wooden tables, the broken bed, and even the humid, sallow air belonged now to no man, but only dust.

On the floor there were the imprinted souvenirs of my trawling feet; I, the intruder in the realm of the dust. I could not look at the corners of the room. The caked filth evoked, in me, a severe sense of disgust.

The walls were heavily flaking. The wallpaper, wherever it remained, was yellow and stained. An unrecognisable pattern was visible. The ceiling seemed ready to collapse at any given moment. To the far side of the room, the ceiling had a dark, wet, leaky patch on it which reminded me of the sight of Amanda’s wet panties, and the walls were tattooed by the shadowy trail-memories of water droplets.

The air felt heavier, much heavier than outside air. It had some kind of weight to it that made breathing hard. Odours of the ageing wood of the bed, the moist walls, the rotting mattress, and the ubiquitous dust had mixed together into something jaundiced and sinister which pricked the lungs, and stuck to the alveoli.

The side table looked like it was eaten up from inside. Parts of it had turned into powder, or more appropriately, dust. The drawers were half-open, as left by the inhabitants, or the post-inhabitant raiders. On top of the side table stood a lamp. It looked like a bearer of unspeakable burden, it’s shade slightly tilted, as if in an expression of shame.

The bed was the only thing in this room that looked like it hadn’t aged badly. The mattress, however, was a different story altogether. It was ripped apart, it’s insides gouged out just like the victims of Jefferey Dahmer, exposing clumps of eaten wool infiltrated with dust, and springs that languidly stuck out and fell off-ways like they had lost all purpose to their life a long time ago.

Outside, it was cloudy, but it wasn’t raining. It had rained in quick bursts multiple times since the two days I had lived in this remote European town with pretty Amanda; Amanda who scared the wits out of me sometimes, but who I had desperately fallen in love with anyway. Being in a strange place away from home seemed to have made her more reckless and nihilistic than I had ever seen her before.

Hey, I know where you are, I said to myself aloud but softly, in order to stifle my fear of being alone in a strange place. Remember that abandoned mansion that Sophia was talking about? Amanda was so excited to see it. So that’s probably this place. But then, where are they? And how did I end up here alone?

I don’t know, I replied.

Talking to myself soothed me somewhat. I used to do this even as a child when I had to walk to the bathroom at night. I used to imagine snakes behind me for some reason, and I used to think that talking aloud would keep them away. Apparently, it did, because none of those snakes was ever able to bite me.

The initial paralysis that had gripped my body, prompted by the fear of being alone in a dilapidated, abandoned place was a lot more permitting now. My fingers were twitching because of the adrenalin rush. I could feel a warm sensation under my skin as if my insides suspended in a warm, viscous liquid. I slowly checked my jean pockets. No phone. My phone was not there. My phone was missing.

Once I had familiarised myself with the surroundings, more strength had returned to my body, but I was still fearful of stepping out. What exactly I was fearful of, though, I don’t know. Anyway, I grabbed a weak-looking wooden beam from the footboard of the bed and ripped it out. It took more strength than I thought it would, and the loud cracking it made took me by surprise. The dust exploded in anger, but nails and all still clinging to it, no more an extension of dust, the wooden beam was now an extension of my white-knuckled fist. I listened carefully for any sound in the house. Still complete silence.

Maybe she’s asleep somewhere too? Could that be? I asked.

I really don’t know, and I don’t think so. But you can try to call her, I replied.

Right, I said, I should try to call her.

And so, I did.

Amanda?

No response.

Sophia?

No response.

Amanda? I shouted, a little louder this time.

Where the fuck did, they go? I whispered to myself.

Is this a prank? I shouted. If this is, then you got me! Let’s go home now.

No response.

I knew I had to get home before it got dark outside, but I just could not move. I felt only fear. Fear of wild animals. An unfounded fear of cold-blooded killers lurking in the darkness. Whoever said that fear was based in rationality anyway? Nobody. No, it’s rooted in instinct, I thought. Clutching the wooden beam, hands shaking, heart thumping, sweat dripping, I walked out.

Look, I have a wooden beam in my hand to protect myself against wild animals, so don’t startle me if you’re around, I shouted to anybody who would listen.

No answer. I trawled on.

I could not have guessed that I would ever find myself in this kind of a situation a year prior, or even six months ago. I lived a happy life with my then-girlfriend Laura. We were happy, we were in love, we had plenty of sex, and lot to look forward to. Then Laura left me, and I found Amanda. Amanda and her slim, white body, her tiny breasts, her many, many tattoos, and a madness that scared the wits out of me, yet, at the same time, drew me deeper and deeper into her.

Amanda and Laura were so different.

I walked outside, ears ever-receptive, eyes darting, knuckles white and ready. There was nothing to fear. There was nothing here. And whatever was there, was probably harmless. Why was my imagination unnecessarily bothering me, then? Nor was I fearing rational things. I was fearing ghouls and fiendish creatures from another world. Why? I asked myself. But the fear did not simper and scurry away.

I had suddenly become aware of an odd feeling in my entire body. My vision seemed to have gotten darker as well. I felt a deeply ominous feeling creeping over me, like the dust was taking over me, making me a part of itself. There’s nothing to fear, I said to myself aloud. My voice was small and did not sound like my own. I said the same thing to myself again, louder this time. I felt a strange nausea, and my stomach seemed to be revolting to something. Probably just the fear, I thought and went onwards.

There were two more rooms on this floor. One seemed to be another bedroom on the far side, and the door was shut, and maybe a bathroom, whose door, too, was shut. I had no interest nor strength to explore these areas. I just wanted to get out and be home before dark. I kept feeling the presence of something behind me, but I urged myself to recognise the foolishness my imagination; and of this entire situation. I reminded myself of the truth: that this was purely manufactured fear, conjured up by my imagination.

I heard Amanda call my name. I heard her clear voice from the room below. I felt a flood of relief. Thank the fucking gods, I thought.

Hey, I said aloud, I’m up here! Let’s go home.

There was no response again.

Listen, enough messing with me. What had we taken? Let’s go! It’s getting dark and I’m extremely hungry!

No response.

Amanda?

No response again.

Why is she being like this? I thought. That was not like her.

I slowly descended the stairs, my grip on the wooden plank was lighter now, having heard Amanda’s voice.

As I climbed down, I could hear more sounds coming from below. It sounded like a lot of different voices, like a large group of people was gathered around in the backyard. Maybe this was a party that we had attended? A party at an abandoned mansion sounded pretty cool. And maybe I had gotten completely drunk or something and gone upstairs where nobody really went?

With my newfound strength I began to strut down the stairs, but out of some clumsy mis-coordination I tripped and fell face first onto the ground. Luckily, I was able to shield my fall with my hands, but I hurt my elbow hard. I stood up quickly. Too quickly, I suppose, because a flood of white obliterated my vision. I rubbed my elbow intensely to make the pain subside. Once my vision had returned, I looked at the back of the room. there was no backyard, just a dark room, shelves, books, other left-behind junk, and a dirty sofa, ripped, too, like every other soul in this mansion.

But there were no people around. No people. No Amanda. No party. No nothing.

What? I thought. I could swear had distinctly heard many voices, and Amanda’s voice too, and her voice especially was unmistakable. That’s when I saw a darting shadow from the corner of my eye and I froze. This time the fear was like something I have never felt before. My hands were violently shaking. I found it hard to focus. I turned in the direction of the darting shadow. There was nothing there. No killer. No fiend. No ghoul. But no Amanda either.

There was some lazy, amateur graffiti on the walls. “Boo!” Was written in blue spray paint. And besides that, perhaps drawn by someone else, was an image in silver spray paint of a phallic object entering a hole with the caption “Boo, Ooh!” There were also a bunch of names, and other random words here and there.

I was here – Jeremy, 12th May 06:41 pm. The year when Jeremy was here was not mentioned.

Another darting shadow. I turned in that direction so quickly, I almost lost my balance. Again: nothing.

The walls were swaying slightly. I told myself that I was simply imagining things in my present state of agitation, and I walked outside through the main door. My legs were heavy and seemed to be refusing to co-operate without plenty encouragement. I was feeling helpless.

I stepped on to the gravel. It crunched. I could hear random tapping and clicking sounds from behind, but I didn’t turn to look in that direction, instead I looked for a way out of this place. No roads for a car, just a thick forest some distance away. The forest looked sinister and evil. The bad elves are waiting for me, I told myself, they are just waiting for me to leave...

I turned to my left and decided to circle the house in that direction. There had to be a path s

omewhere. But I stopped mid-stride. Wait. Wait. Wait, wait, wait! I whispered aloud. My voice did not sound like my own at all. It was heavy and cracked. What bad elves? I asked myself, silently. You just said that the bad elves were waiting for you in the forest. Where did that come from? I questioned myself. It’s like you’re falling asleep while wide awake, I said.

I jumped on my feet to wake myself up, but I was unable to. The sky was getting darker, but it wasn’t too dark yet to see.

Was this an in my mind or was the entire world shaking? Everything around me was swaying to an unheard rhythm. I could not think clearly anymore. There was what felt like static at the edges of my vision. The entire mansion looked foreboding, cold, and dangerous, but I had nowhere else to go. I knew I had to return to the room I had found myself in. I could not walk outside in this condition.

My mouth felt sandpaper dry. I wanted water, but I had none.

I slowly trawled back into the dark mansion. It seems that spiders had emerged from the depths of the house as it was getting dark. They were everywhere, and I was afraid that they had entered in my room too. I did not try to run lest I trip and fall into them, but I had much difficulty avoiding them. There were so many of them I felt sick and afraid. Most of them were small, fast, and translucent.

After an eternity I made it back the dilapidated bedroom. To my disdain, there were spiders here too, but they seemed to be content crawling in and around the mattress, and the corner walls.

I somehow felt less afraid of any fiendish things that I imagined resided in the house this time. I felt like I was one of them now. Inside the room I looked outside the windows. Soon it would be completely dark, and I would be enveloped in my shroud of darkness. My personal hell.

Someone said something right behind me. I heard it distinctly. And I turned around fast. I was still holding the wooden beam in my hands, but I couldn’t lift it up to defend myself anymore. Forget trying to use the wooden beam to defend myself, my own hands felt too heavy to lift. My eyelids too were heavy.

That’s when I saw my shoulder bag lying there. It was previously hidden from my sight because of where I was standing. My phone was probably in there. I ran to the bag. Or at least I tried to. My legs didn’t want to co-operate, though, it seemed, and I fell face first on the hard-wood floor, and I heard the eerie sound that my shoulder made. I felt a vague pain, but it felt so distant. My mouth was open, and I had gathered a quantity of the floor-dust, which tenaciously stuck to my tongue.

I tried to spit it out, but not a drop of moisture remained in my mouth. With much difficulty I lifted every muscle in my body and sat upright, or as close to an upright position as possible, and I wiped my tongue on my T-shirt. The sensation made me begin to retch and dry heave. Then I spilled my guts on the dusty floor. With much difficulty, I was able to regain my breath. I couldn’t breathe. I looked at the little puddle that I had birthed, and there were little moving beetles in it. I had thrown up live beetles. There were live beetles inside me. The sight of that made me heave more, but this time nothing came out.

A different sort of fear had gripped me now. There were parasitic bugs inside of me, eating my insides. Maybe this is why my stomach had felt odd previously. Maybe they had found their way into my brain, and that was causing all my madness. The dancing shadows. The wonky co-ordination and heavy limbs. The primal fear… I probably knew what had happened somewhere inside myself even when I came-to. I had just forgotten. There were bugs inside of me eating me alive from the inside out, and I had no way of saving myself here. I was about to die very soon, and this time I knew why. It was going to be a slow painful death, and I shivered at the thought of it. Horror. Horror was the only thing I felt.

I wanted to scream for help. SOMEONE. ANYONE. I was in tears. I began to cry uncontrollably. I could not bear the horror of my sad, pathetic, demise. I could not. I didn’t want to be eaten alive from the inside out by tiny, hard-backed beetles. The pain was about to get much worse, and I would not die until the very end. Why? What had I done? I said, but my mouth did not move. I knew the answer. I was being punished for what I had done.

If anything, I deserved this death.

Laura, I called out in my distress. Laura. I wish you were here, but I knew she was elsewhere. And I screamed a blood-curdling scream that sent an icy chill down my own spine. I fell into silence. Dark spots were dancing in my vision. I could barely move. The parasitic beetles had swum, with apparent difficulty, to the edge of my pool of bile and digestive sludge that lay withering on the dusty, hard-wood floor. Laura, I whispered but no sound came out. I wish I hadn’t…, I said, I really wish I hadn’t… I didn’t mean to.

There was a cacophony of sounds all around me. There was the sound of utensils, and voices talking over each other, there were people calling my name, and typing, and a scraping sounds coming from behind the walls as if some creature was trying to escape, and I just sat there among it all, insensible. I, the silent centre of the universe waiting for a painful end. At least it would all be over soon, I thought. This life wasn’t even worth living after Laura had left.

The beetles that I had coughed up seemed to have multiplied in my vomit and were clumping together and rolling and moving in a joyful, lively manner. I felt disgust to the pit of my stomach, but there was nothing more left to throw up. I had given up. A pang of pain rushed through me, as their beetle-brothers feasted on my juicy insides.

The world was completely dark now. I could not see a thing. I could sense the shadows. There were people moving around. Some creatures were still trying to break out of the walls around me to feast on me too, but so far, their endeavour seemed to have been fruitless.

I saw hordes of spiders scurrying around in groups whenever I opened my eyes. I tried to swat them away, and they went off. I cannot describe how it feels to be surrounded by insects. To have them inside you, eating you alive. To have insects crawling over you. Climbing you. Climbing your feet. Entering inside the cavity of your skull and eating your juicy brain as you slowly lose your sanity. No, this cannot be described. You can only imagine it, and that too would give you only a vague idea of the disgust, and true horror that I felt. I did not know this intensity of helplessness could even be humanly experienced.

I suddenly remembered that I was looking for my phone. Despite the impossible weight, I reached my hand out to the bag which was only a silhouette anymore, and I dragged it to me. I could not keep my head straight and it kept falling on my shoulders, lolling lifelessly on my neck.

A faint white light seemed to be streaming in from the windows, casting a ghostly-blue glow on this entire room, and on my clumsy, dying, figure. The curtains leisurely swayed and rolled, oblivious to my condition.

I managed to open the zipper of my shoulder bag and dumped everything out. One torch, two water bottles, four condoms and an assortment of pills fell out. My wretched little life lay thus defined.

I found no phone.

I opened the bottle of water. There was a sort of dark liquid inside. Suddenly a horde of tiny spiders began to crawl out. I threw the bottle and the liquid drained. It did not flow like water. It was a lot thicker and darker. I was dying of thirst, but I did not want to drink anything anymore.

I must have blacked out for a while then.

“Hey,” said Amanda. She was sitting beside me. It was still dark outside.

“Careful of the bugs,” I said.

“M’h’m,” she nodded, “I’m not scared, they don’t do anything to me.” she said, nodding several times and swiping them away whenever they approached her.

“Well, they’re inside me. Eating me alive,” I said. “I’m about to die very soon.”

“Cool,” she said. “Does it hurt?”

“I can’t feel anything anymore.”

She H’m’d.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, of course you can!” she said.

“I think I am in love with you.”

“Are you?” she inquired. I could feel her narrowed, suspicious eyes boring into me.

“I don’t know.” I said, honestly. “I feel like I am. Stupid me. What’s the point of bringing this up right now anyway?” I shook my head.

“Well, I think that you’re a liar. You keep talking about Laura. Even in your sleep you say her name. How can you say you love me, then?”

“Because” I said. “Because…”

I turned to look at her face; to look at her clear, emerald-green eyes, but she was gone.

I must have become so senseless. I didn’t even notice her leave. I felt like she had left me forever this time. It was true, I had loved Laura, but she had left me, and just so Amanda had too. That’s when I noticed my phone where Amanda had been sitting. She must have left it behind as she left me forever.

I picked it up and tried to call her.

The line clicked.

“Hello,” a sleepy voice said.

“Hey,” I said, and then immediately recognised her voice. I was in fact trying to call Amanda, but instead, I must have called Laura in my delirium. Maybe Amanda was right about my obsession with Laura.

“Um, hey,” I said again, “I’m really sorry I called you this late. I was trying to call someone else – but don’t go away yet. Can you talk for a bit?”

“Oh, that’s fine,” she said, and I felt a warmth spreading in my heart. I could talk to her one last time, at least. I was relieved.

“Well, how have you been?”

“I’m…” she paused, “I’m getting well you know.”

An icy chill rushed down my spine. Getting well you know…

I dropped my phone in my surprise. I tried to get pick it up, but it had sunk into the ground. I could only see the top of it like a drawing on the floor. I tried to use my nails to pry it out, but it was pointless.

Laura’s words echoed in my mind, tormenting me. I’m… I’m getting well you know…

I’m… I’m getting well you know…

I’m… I’m getting well you know…

I’m… I’m getting well you know…

I’m… I’m getting well you know…

Stop. Stop. Stop it! I screamed. The voice stopped. Stop it, I said once again. I didn’t want to hear it anymore.

Laura had died six months ago of a drug overdose. A young, innocent, hard-working, straight edged girl, within months, dead of an overdose.

The memory of her lifeless body came back to my mind. Her body was just as calm as always. Not one wasted movement. That was Laura. Her skin smelled like warm, tropical flowers and I used to rub against it and explore it like a thirsty bee. Now she lay shrouded in her usual silence. She looked like she was simply resting in her grave. Her breasts were large and well-shaped in contrast to Amanda’s, and she had a full, motherly body, a little puppy fat, a few imperfections, and no tattoos. I could still recall, with clarity, the taste of her skin.

“Hey girl,” I had said “Wake up.” And she never did. My girl. She was gone.

It felt strange at the time. Like it was a dream. Sometimes I would forget that she was gone in the morning and call her name so she would come back to me in bed and cuddle for a bit. And instead of her warm, soft body, I would feel the intense wave of guilt answer my call.

Everything that happened henceforth, and a lot did happen, is foggy to my memory.

The shadows emerged from the walls, and I was talking to them. I became friends with the spiders, and like in charlotte’s web, I met their tiny, floaty little children. At one point, my mom was there, and we had some sort silly disagreement about a political issue.

A TV reporter in the corner was reading out a weather report, “…very closely right now. A massive earthquake off the west coast triggering a tsunami warning for Hawaii. LXXXX XXXX from our ABC affiliates in Hawaii, reports.”

“…the situation here in Hawaii earlier this evening. The civil defence calling for an evacuation of all low-lying areas because of a tsunami threatening our area, that generated by the 7.7 earthquake in Canada. We are expecting waves of up to, um, three to six to seven feet. Haven’t seen it materialise yet, but we are seeing some of those tsunami waves coming in at a couple of feet or so. Still a fairly serious situation out here with what might happen…”

Frank stopped by, and so did Cody. Rachel called me up on the phone because she couldn’t make it there in time. It seemed like they were all aware of my approaching death, and I was glad to be able to talk to them one last time.

At some point I lay down on the ground out of exhaustion and closed my eyes for the last time. When I opened them again, Laura was lying beside me. Daylight was streaming in. She said nothing. I peered into her deep brown eyes for a long time. I tried to memorise her features. Her long, wavy hair. Her nose. The curl of her lips. Her glowing smile… her smile was glowing. That’s when I realised. I had felt like she was pregnant with my child. I had strongly suspected it. I had seen her manner change in her final days. I wanted to help her out of the pit I had unknowingly led her into, but it was already too late.

I could feel my soul crumble. My insides writhed. My eyes grew hazy with tears. I knew it. I knew it. I just didn’t want to face it, but I had always known it…

And then I died.

*

A long, loud car-horn woke me up. It’s anger very evidently penetrated the air to reach me, after all, it was meant for me. I knew it instantly.

I hadn’t died during the night. Somehow, I knew I wasn’t going to.

When I opened my eyes, it was bright outside. I could not see the sun, but there was plenty of light around me. I used my elbows, with difficulty, to prop myself up. The puddle of stomach sludge was still where I had birthed it during the night. There were no bugs in it, just remnants of gel capsules. Pink gel caps. Benadryl. I could see six. I counted. The rest had probably been absorbed by my body.

My legs felt jittery. I couldn’t move my arms correctly. It felt like the place my arms actually were, and where my body thought they were was different. My arm always either overshot, or undershot.

I heard Sophia yell my name. I felt afraid of her because of how angry she sounded. I was covered in the old, familiar dust. Some distance away lay the hopelessly strewn open water bottle and a black liquid had spilled out. It smelled like rum. I turned around and gathered my things. The condoms. The pills. The torch. From the other bottle I took a sip without considering what may have been inside it because I was so thirsty. Thankfully, it was water. My phone was not around. I probably never had it.

Even though I knew that none of it had taken place, the memories from last night felt one hundred percent real. I had lived through it all. Through the horror or dying painfully because parasitic beetles in my stomach. Through the hallucinations, through the final conversations with all my friends, through the impossible sense of disgust, through the primal fear and the pain… through it all.

I collected the things and stuffed them into a bag. In the corner there as another puddle with the unmistakable yellow colour and the smell of urine. I did not remember pissing in the corner, but thankfully I had the sense to go to the corner to relieve myself rather than pissing my pants.

I cloddishly stood up and turned around as the door opened. Sophia breathed a sigh of relief, and then she yelled at me for a long time. She was scarier to me than my own mother. And my mother is the scariest person I have ever known.

“What the FUCKING FUCK were you two lovebirds thinking?” she yelled, “AMANDA had a FUCKING SEIZURE! A FUCKING SEIZURE BECAUSE OF THIS! I knew you both were acting weird as fuck when I was driving you here. I knew it, but I thought you guys were just high on grass or something. You know, we did that as kids too, and that’s what I thought it was. Then I FUCKING FIND OUT that you both were SHIT HIGH ON KETAMINE, and had taken a ton of BENADRYL after that so you won’t remember that you took it by the time it kicked in.”

Yep, that sounded like us, I thought.

“Then you both had made me drive out all the way here. KETAMINE?! I have never even touched that shit in my life! And Benadryl? I DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! Why would anyone even do this? And look at you! You look fucking dead. You both stepped out of the car, and immediately after that Amanda collapsed and began to have a seizure, and while I was trying to take care of her you had fucking disappeared somewhere. I had to take her to the emergency room. I was so worried. My God. My entire YEAR’S WORTH of SAVINGS, all gone in a single night. Thanks. Glad to have had you visit. Thank fucking god. But I’m not even angry about that. I’m just confused. Who does this? Who?”

Sophia paused to take a breath.

“When she came-to I asked her what the fuck she was thinking, and she said that you both were going to get shit high and delirious here, and then you were gonna fuck each other. I don’t even – UGHHHHH! Like do what you want, fuck all you want to but like what?!”

I could understand her exasperation, so I offered no explanation. There was no valid excuse.

“Is.. is she…” I managed to speak.

She softened. “Yeah, she’s fine. But I was so worried. Oh god.” She massaged her forehead. “This entire night… it has been a nightmare for me.” she said.

I nodded. It had been the same for me. “I’m sorry.” I said.

Sophia just shook her head several times. Apology not accepted. You need to think about what you did first.

We got into the car in silence, and she began to drive.

I buried my head in my hands. My body was tired; my brain exhausted.

“You’ll be fine,” she said and rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. “Let’s get you washed up and we can go see Amanda.”

“Why are you guys like this?” she asked me after a while of silently driving. She was asking me earnestly, without any hint of ridicule or a taunt.

“Well… I.” I began. “Amanda… She keeps me. Everything she does, it kind of keeps me occupied. She protects me from my thoughts. She keeps me distracted. I feel like I have really fallen in love with her now, after spending so much time with her for just the kind of person she is. And I just don’t want to ever be left alone with my thoughts anymore. She gets me, I get her. We both are the same. Before I met her, I had resolved to end my life. And then she made me forget about it.”

Sophia was silent. She asked softly, after some time, “What thoughts?”

“Laura,” I said. “I was always so pushy with her. I was always indulging her. I wanted her to ‘Enjoy Life’, you know, ‘to get a taste of real life’ – even I don’t know what that means – but I would encourage her to get high, and we would get drunk and have fun… she was so innocent. I ruined her. I always felt like there was something inside her. Something that she was hiding from me. She never ever opened up to me, even in our entire time together. She was an enigma. I felt like having some fun would solve her problems. She trusted me, and I was an idiot. It only made things worse for her. She retreated deeper into herself, and before even knew it, the silent, cheerful girl was gone. I loved her, and I had done this to her. And just like that she was gone.” My voice had grown weary. I wiped my silent tears.

Sophia stole a glance at me and looked back at the road, saying nothing.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about the pregnancy. I couldn’t think of it myself. I wanted to jump out of the running car and die by getting run over by a truck. I had made my final decision. I unclipped my seat belt.

Sophia saw me do it, but she remained silent. I was toying with my fingers.

She looked at me again. ��U’m…” she began. “You know I do interior design, right?”

I nodded. I didn’t know why she was bringing that up.

“And the thing is that most of my clients are middle class people, and they’ve got a very rigid perspective towards spending money – and spending money on appliances in their home is a big no-no. I mean they’re really silly about it. They don’t understand how big a difference is between good and bad appliances. The good ones may not cost much more to build from a manufacturing perspective, but the thing is that these companies will add a premium on top of that and make things all the more expensive – but if you’ve ever seen the stats, the good appliances despite the heavy premiums last a looooot longer. And these people don’t get it, which is why I have to tell them something that’s very important: “think very carefully about the decisions you will make because they will stick to you”

She looked me in the eye.

I looked at her with a sideways glance.

I didn’t reclip my seatbelt on our way back. But I didn’t jump out either.

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