#not actually what’s gonna happen in the au but oh my god. oh my god

[bbkoolkatz]

part 2 prof! Izuku part 1 here

synopsis: after a series of ignored apologies, you accepted (kinda) what's happened and decided to finally respond... then months go by and you've gotten over him... you think...

pairing: professor! Izuku Midoriya x student! reader. college AU

cw: angst to fluff! by not so popular demand lol! just pretend that y'all had conversations in between or something, before the party message.

blurb word count: 800+

now gimme your souls! *evil laughs* (there are three outfit photos so u can choose from them)

people were packed in the campus auditorium, sounds of murmuring and the bass of the music slightly overwhelming your ears. your friends spotted you standing alone, becoming one with the wall behind you and scuttled over offering you a drink to sip on while they chatted. they went on about, the course, how difficult finals we're, all the months of stress and boring lectures. you added to their complaints here and there, making light conversation that you didn't really pay attention to, as your eyes drifted around.

you vaguely pay attention to them raving about how great everyone's looking, how surprised they were that they passed, etc etc. and then, he walked in... tall, slim, neatly tousled green hair that exposed his forehead, dressed in a dark green shirt one size too small, squeezing his forearms at the point where he rolled them up, and black slacks, accessoried with an all might buckled belt, that held it to his waist.

might not have been much to him, but to you... it was fucking runway worthy... and you froze, the sight of him bringing back that fuzzy feeling in the pit of your stomach. the buffet table was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room as you averted your eyes from your, former professor.

"hey there," he greeted, walking up behind you.

you slowly turned around, and was soon face to face with that signature, irresistible smile of his, you tried looking away from his almost perfect lips and your eyes landed on his... big mistake... but oh how they looked like emerald gems being held hostage behind glass frames, sparkling with the flashing lights of the party.

"is something wrong?" he asked tilting his head to the side before looking over himself.

"oh! uh- no!" you awkwardly reassured. god you wanted gouge your eyes out right now... "I was starting to think you weren't gonna show," you teased, offering a small smile.

"yeah," he chuckled, "i actually wasn't sure either, but I thought it'd be nice to see y- everyone, one last time." he continued, rubbing the back of his neck.

"everyone seems so different out of the classroom huh?" was your attempt at small talk. and you mentally slapped yourself across the face.

"I was thinking the same thing!" he beamed, "it's nice to see you- all! having some fun. it's well deserved." he fiddled with his wristwatch, then with the ends of his shirt on his forearms.

"I'm sorry, parties aren't really my thing..." he admitted, breaking into a nervous sweat and you rested a hand on his to stop his fiddling.

"did you save me that dance... professor?" you chuckled, nodding toward the dancefloor where people had started to gather.

"Izuku," he corrected, "i'm not your professor anymore..." and he took your hand in his, leading you to the center of the dancefloor, weaving through te crowd of people. you've never slow danced before, but by God, at the moment all you wanted was too feel his body heat, as you swayed to whatever song the DJ decided to play.

the people around you paired up, hugging each other close as the music started, and you both followed them. you take initiative, stepping forward to rest your right hand on his shoulder and your left a little lower down his arm.

he hesitated for second, hand hovering over the curve of your waist, "i-is this okay?" he asked, ever the gentleman and.

"more than okay." you mumbled, the warmth of his palms resting awkwardly on your waist, quietly pulled you in as you began to sway in each other's arms.

the dance progressed, and the awkwardness that was there earlier, was nowhere to be seen. it felt as if your bodies were moving in perfect sync, your steps following his, as you closed your eyes and rested your head on his chest, he moved his other hand to rest lower down your back keeping you there.

for a long moment you were standing there, his scarred arms holding you close to him like he didn't want to let go. not that you were complaining... but the music had been changed to something else... more upbeat to bring life back to the party.

"thank you." you smiled and you could hear his heart rate pick up.

"was that good enough?" he whispered, rubbing circles on your back with his thumb. and you nodded against his chest. you stood there for a singular moment longer, before–

"well, i better go say hi to everyone else!" he said, reverting to his awkward state, "don't let me stop you from enjoying yourself!" and he was still holding your right hand in his.

"right," you exhaled, as he let go and you were heading off to grab another drink. "see ya around, Izuku."

"yeah," he chuckled, yet again awkwardly scratching the back of his head, "see ya around."

mlist!

[socksandbuttons]

Consider:

New Solar Flare is Tiny. Like Lunar.

Im on it dont worry about it

He's... hes just smaller. and also constantly on fire maybe.

[reverse-pines-twins]

"Ok, it was a pain to get it- but here you go Belle"

Stab hands her over the amulet Stanford had taken

@reverse-falls-stan

*She's sulking in the corner until he says that. Mason's off on stage, playing to the crowd and causing at least five separate fangirls in the crowd to swoon. Even backstage, the sounds of cheering as he draws a heart in the air are clearly audible. Mabel seems bitter and angry about being grounded still. The instant she hears Stan's voice, she perks up, stands, and rounds on her heel to face him.*

Oh- hello Great Uncle Stan! I can't believe you're here! And with my amulet, too! I really can't thank you enough, Great Uncle Stan. You're so generous and wonderful and lots of other things!

*She goes to grab the amulet.*

[impostorsshow]

I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinkbing about. him

[buggyandthebartoclub]

I am trying desperately to focus and my husband put on a movie called dragon ball evolution and I am absolutely screaming!!!! We’re like???? 10 min in maybe???? Why is Goku some random white guy??? Why is he so old? He’s some “geecko” who gets bullied and has horny thoughts??? He’s at a party at chichis house fighting a group of bullies???

WHAT IS HAPOENING LOL???? They took goku and Kyle-fied him!!! Like what is goku but he chugged mt dew and played cod 😂😭😬 PICCILO????

IM SO SORRY DADDY BAHAHAHAHAHBFFKOENWKXJFJEEJ

I FINAIHED MY TAGS AND BULMA IS ON AND WTF!!!!! IM SO CONFUSED LOL I CANT STOP LAUGHING AND GASPING

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙20 weeks you say… | LN4˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x pregnant!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: sexual references but not major, mainly fluff with some joking/play fighting yk the vibes

summary: in which your pregnancy announcement is met with an unexpected response

a/n: chose lando coz im obsessed with him atm😭��😭 also i think this plot suits him better lol. it's pretty short but it fits the plot best imo!

request!!!: Can I request reader and driver, maybe Carlos or lando, announce her pregnancy only for fans to put together that the baby is a result of a race win

my masterlist

fc: various blonde girls from pinterest

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and others

yourusername we've been keeping a secret… 20 weeks and counting 🕊️

view all comments

user1 OH MY GOD

yourmother im crying again y/n!

yourusername you better stop by the time baby's here!

lilyzneimer so happy for you guys 🥹

yourusername tysm angel <3

iamrebeccad amazing news ❤️

liked by yourusername

alexandrasaintmleux congratulations ❤️

liked by yourusername

francisca.cgomes ahhh cant wait for baby to be born!

yourusername 🥹🥹🥹

user2 all the wags comments!! so cute

carlossainz55 are you sure?

yourusername 😂😂😂 yes lando is going to be a father for the 500th time

user3 hahahaha poor lando

charles_leclerc wow sending love to you both! congratulations!

liked by yourusername

oscarpiastri congratulations to my favourite couple!

yourusername thanks osc 😊

danielricciardo contrats 🎉

liked by yourusername

logansargeant wow congratulations guys

liked by yourusername

user4 20 weeks you say... 🧐

landonorris posted a story

liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, and others

user5 ahh she's so gorgeous

user6 i can't believe u guys are gonna have a baby omg 😭

user7 wowwww

user8 cant wait for baby norris 🥹

lilyzneimer you better be looking after her

landonorris i am!!!

lilyzneimer good.... im watching

landonorris scary

yourmother look after my baby!

landonorris i am!!! why does no one believe me

yourmother she's carrying precious cargo

landonorris oh dont i know it 😭

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and others

landonorris anyway 🤫

view all comments

user16 r u telling us to shut up lando 🥺🥺

landonorris yes actually y/n is mad at u guys!

user17 NOOOOOOOOOOOO

user18 smh coz u guys r always running ur mouth

user19 what happened? what did u guys do this time 🤔

user20 ...worked out when their baby was conceived...

user21 HAHAHAHAHHA

user22 too far i fear

carlossainz55 me personally, i think it's funny

landonorris well...

yourusername shut up both of you

carlossainz55 sorry y/n

oscarpiastri forgive & forget 😌

user23 yup i agree with oscar! forgive us y/n

yourusername hmmm.... NO!

user24 HAHAHAHA

user25 hahahah poor y/n!

user26 it was a special race win tbf, we'd all have done the same thing y/n <3

liked by landonorris, yourusername

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by lilyzneimer, landonorris, and others

yourusername lil update. we r so ready for baby now

view all comments

user27 omg she's so much bigger now

user28 what's the gender??

user29 they havent told us

user30 ur glowing y/n

liked by yourusername

user31 she liked this.. maybe she is forgiving us :)

lilyzneimer miss you in the garage babe

yourusername miss you so much! please come visit soon lol

lilyzneimer omg i will🥹🥹

mclaren we cant wait to meet little norris!

liked by yourusername, landonorris

iamrebeccad gorgeous girl

yourusername ily

user32 carlando & landoscar lives on in their wags friendships tbh

oscarpiastri lando is miserable without u, hurry up & have the baby & get back to races

yourusername what do u think im trying to do oscar? 🤨

oscarpiastri yea true. my bad

landonorris i dont like ur tone

oscarpiastri im so sorry

landonorris better

user33 LOL😭😭

time skip 🧡

landonorris posted a story

liked by yoursister, lilyzneimer, and others

yoursister is everything ok?

landonorris i'll keep you updated, dont worry

yoursister you better

user34 she's sooo cute

user35 i cant wait for her to have the baby ahh

user36 giggling & kicking her feet she's jus a girl fr

lilyzneimer keep me updated please

landonorris 😂 will add you to the baby update group chat

lilyzneimer please do omg

carlossainz55 dont freak out

landonorris easy for you to say

landonorris

liked by yourmother, oscarpiastri, and others

landonorris first month with our daughter x

view all comments

user37 OMG FINALLY NEWS

user38 a girl omg

user39 lando a girl dad!!!

user40 awwww a beautiful daughter from winning in miami

landonorris DONT BRING THIS UP AGAIN

user40 oop-my bad

user41 HAHAHAHA

user42 they deffo nickname her miami

oscarpiastri congratulations 🥂

landonorris 🧡

lilyzneimer 🥹🥹🥹🥹 so gorgeous

liked by landonorris

carlossainz55 congratulations both of you!

landonorris thanks for all ur help 🫡

carlossainz55 it's nothing :)

yourusername god i love you 🥹

landonorris i love YOU

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and others

user43 HAHAHAHA

user44 ur not mad at us 🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉

user55 this is sooo funny & cute omg i love her

yoursister 😭😭stop it

yourusername hahahaha it is kind of funny tho

lilyzneimer ignoring the caption, u guys are so cute

yourusername 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

landonorris best gift i could ever ask for 😌 i love you

THE END 🧡

[littlechivalry]

Steddie meet-ugly modern AU no Upside Down

-

Eddie has more than a few pet peeves but the main one is people blocking the sidewalk because they're on the phone. It's inconsiderate and shitty

The guy he's approaching is a prime specimen. Head completely down and walking full speed with no regard for what or who might be sharing the sidewalk.

So Eddie plants his feet. Its a dick move, he knows, but he figures when the guy gets close enough he'll see Eddie and stop short. Maybe raise his head so Eddie can give him a dirty look before they both go back to their original paths.

It doesn't work like that.

The guy never looks up, plows directly into Eddie. Since Eddie was prepared he keeps his feet but the guy goes stumbling. His phone, knocked from his hands, hits the ground with a sharp crack.

Eddie lunges to catch the guy but that brings them both to the ground and an awkward collapse.

"Shit," the guy says, sniffling.

His voice is thick and wet and Eddie is starting to have a real bad feeling.

"Shit, I'm sorry," the guy says. "I wasn't looking where I'm going, 'm so stupid."

He finally looks up and his face is damp and red, hazel eyes welling up with tears.

Eddie is an asshole.

"Hey, no," he says, getting up and helping the guy to his feet. "Its my fault. I didn't realize I was in your way."

The guy stands up, waving away Eddie's help. "No, this is all me. God, this whole stupid day. Of course, of course this would happen."

He's looking at the ground again and Eddie hears the other man hiccup a sob before crouching to pick up his phone.

It's... Eddie's seen worse. But it's in bad shape.

The guy presses the power button but there's no response. Eddie watches him press it again. Then again. He shakes it and tries again.

Nothing.

"Yeah," the guy says. "Yeah. This is perfect. This is actually exactly what I needed."

Oh no, Eddie is the world's biggest asshole.

The guys moves over and takes a seat on the curb, setting his phone on the sidewalk next to him and pressing his face in his hands.

Eddie... doesn't know what to do.

So he sits down beside him.

"You don't need to be here," the guy says.

Eddie shrugs. "I don't have anywhere else to be and it's my fault your day went to shit." The first part is a lie, and Gareth is gonna be pissed if Eddie doesn't get going, but there's no way he can leave now.

The guy shakes his head and sighs, just one soft huff, before he leans back on his hands, tipping his face up. He's not crying anymore and the red flush has faded to pink around his eyes and high on his cheeks.

He turns to Eddie and smiles, chagrined and tired and beautiful, and Eddie... is sunk.

In the face of that expression Eddie has no other choice. "I knocked youdownonpurpose," he almost shouts into that smile. "I was being a jerk and you weren't looking. I didn't-- I didn't think you would fall. I just... I was an asshole."

And the guy... just... laughs.

Eddie doesn't know how to respond. He murnurs an apology. And the guy just laughs harder. Laughs until he's crying again.

"I'm gonna be honest," Eddie says. "I'm not sure what to do here. Are you okay? Is this, like, a breakdown?"

The laughter eventually fades into a few stuttering gasps.

Eddie pulls the bandana out of his pocket and offers it over. The guy takes it and mops at his streaming eyes, dries his face.

The guy turns to face Eddie. The mad light of laughter is gone but so are the tears. Now it's just... calm.

They're still on the curb in the middle of the city. People are passing by, cars and bicycles and other pedestrians. Noise and light and life all around them.

But this moment with this guy feels like...

When Eddie was a kid he was terrified of storms. It felt like every boom of thunder was the moment his home would come crashing around him, like rain would wash his family away, the lightning would burn them all down.

His mom didn't have any patience for him getting upset, more interested in her own nightmares than Eddie's and going to his dad would just make things worse. It wasn't until he moved in with Wayne that storms changed for him.

The first thunderstorm that came crashing down on their trailer sent Eddie screaming into the little hallway, pressing himself to the wall as the lights flickered overhead.

Wayne found him there, curled in a ball on the floor and immediately sat down beside him, gathering Eddie's gangling limbed form into his own lap and rocking him through his sobs until the storm was over.

Once it had passed Wayne carried Eddie out onto the grass in front of the trailer. Eddie remembers pressing his face into Wayne's flannel shirt, letting the soft worn fabric absorb his tears and all the time Wayne humming and swaying them side to side.

When Eddie was ready he looked up. He expected a field of devastation, trailers thrown around like kids toys, trees uprooted, fire and havoc.

But it was quiet. Calm. It felt like the world had just let out a big breath.

Eddie was back in that moment now. This guy had clearly been through a storm and now he was on the other side.

"You wanna get a coffee," Eddie hears himself say.

The guy smiles. "I, uh, I need to get my phone taken care of."

"We can do that first," Eddie says. "Its my fault anyway and i know a guy who can probably fix it."

"Yeah," the guy asks.

Eddie nods. "Yeah. Um... I'm Eddie. By the way."

The guy smiles again, something like the sunrise breaking out across his face. "I'm Steve."

[luvyeni]

SHARE MY GIRL ,, 제노 재민

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ jaemin x jeno x fem!reader wc. 2.9k+

genre. smut, boyfriends best friend au

𓄷 includes ... cheating, threesome, getting caught, unprotected sex, oral ( m. receiving ), rough sex, doggy style, degradation

request. a cheater jaemin fix please!! (with jeno) then kinda threesome happens??!?

「 authors note 𖹭 」 you guys keep requesting cheating fics , y'all are little freaks 🤭

❪ masterlist! ❫

while being in a relationship with jeno; you were always jealous of his relationship with jaemin. the way they were constantly doing something together; jaemin coming over to you guys shared apartment almost every day, to the point jeno gave him a key— that's where jeno might've fucked up.

yeah you were jealous of your boyfriend's best friends— until started fucking him. it happened so fast , jeno had gone to the gym, and jaemin did his usual walk through; when he literally used his key and let himself in. you were also there , laying in the bed waiting for your boyfriend's return watching tv, half naked like you always when you were alone; because you were alone in your apartment.

jaemin knew you were probably there but he didn't know the state you were in until he kicked the door open thinking jeno was in there; instead he found you. all pretty and half clothed. you were shocked to say the least , jaemin on the other hand was unphased. ‘not like i haven't seen a cute girl named in bed before.’ he said sitting on the bed. now you knew this wasn't a good idea; jeno would be livid to come home and see the sight, so you got up to put clothes on , feeling jaemins eyes on you , which made you question why he was still in the room, why didn't he leave.

his answer shocked you; the way he just shrugged and nonchalantly told you it was because he'd probably never get the chance to see you like that again and he wanted to savor the moment. at first you were put off by it, telling him you were gonna tell jeno about this , but you never actually did; because if you did, you'd also have to explain to jeno why his best friend's head was in between your legs.

after that day it just spiraled , anytime jeno would go out with jaemin; jaemin would make his way over to your apartment, fucking you on different surfaces of the place you shared with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend was none the wiser because he was used to his best friend being there and he trusted him— boy was he wrong.

at first you felt guilty, you did; but guilt eventually turned into more lust you felt for the boy, and the thrill; maybe that's what you like the most and that probably made you sick but you didn't care , the thrill of fucking your boyfriends best friend made you 10x times as wet , and jaemin knew that and it turned him on as well.

you and jaemin didn't want to be together; and you loved fucking your boyfriend, he was great in bed, and jaemin had no interest in taking you from the boy— you both just loved to fuck each other, you didn't love each other.

“oh fuck!” jaemin cursed as he pulled out of you for the third time this week. “god it's been 4 months and i still cum hard as fuck when fucking your cunt.” he sighed , dressing himself. you hummed , also dressed yourself, both of you got so good at what you were doing and jeno was so consistent with his routine you both knew how to use your time wisely and still have time to get dressed. “yeah i know , next time wear a condom , you cum so much it makes a mess.” he smiled. “how about i just cum inside you?”

“you're fucking crazy, jeno just started cumming inside me.” you said , reaching for your phone. “jeno texted while we were doing that, he's on his way back , he's bringing food.” you texted him back okay. “i hope it's chinese , the pizza he bought back sucked last time.” he grimaced, it was crazy how you both could have this conversation right after you did what you did. “it's burgers.” he nodded. “that's fine.”

“I'm here!” jeno shouted from the kitchen. “I'll go out first , tell him you're in the bathroom.” you walked out of the room and into area where your boyfriend was. “hey baby.” your boyfriend's eyes lit up. “princess.” he wrapped his arms around your waist. “so pretty.” he kissed your lips. “missed you while i was at the gym.” you smiled , running your fingers in his hair. “yeah?”

“you should start coming with me.” and miss time with his best friend? no. “you know i hate the gym.” he pouted. “i don't understand why its fun.” he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. “and i wouldn't be able to that if i didn't go.” he leaned in , kissing you. “and we both know you love when i do that.” he smirked. “i do.” he sat you down on the counter, his body in between your legs. “hey before you two start fucking in front of the burgers , can i get one?”

you watched your boyfriend pull away from you to give his best friend a hug like he didn't see him like two days. “wow.” you said. “how about you two just get naked fuck each other.” you scoffed , hopping off the counter. “would you both like it if i give you some privacy?” jaemin smirked. “what you jealous and your boyfriend are close?” you rolled your eyes. “as if.” jeno laughed at your bickering. “alright, alright both of you stop it now.”

the three of you sat down in the living room to eat your food, jaemin and jeno talking about whatever they talked about while you scrolled through your phone. “oh jaemin there's this girl at my gym who fancies you.” jeno wiggled his eyebrows , which made you look up from your phone, jaemin eyes quickly went to yours before turning back to his friend. “yeah?” the boy said. “what does she look like?” he asked , you smirked to yourself. “i gave her your number , she should be calling soon , give her a try.” your boyfriend said his face was full of food. “shes cool , not as cool as my baby but she's almost there.” he kissed the top of your head. “you're so pussy whipped.” jaemin said. “if things go well with this girl then you too could be pussy whipped.”

seems like jaemin did take your boyfriend's advice about the girl because he stopped coming over for about 2 weeks; two weeks without sex with jaemin. it wasn't that bad; your boyfriend was still fucking you almost every day like usual so it didn't matter, but you did miss the thrill of fucking him— then he showed up again.

it was the same routine as always; jeno had left for the gym already and you were watching tv while getting work done on your computer when the door opened , thinking it was your boyfriend forgetting something you didn't think anything of it , thinking he would just leave back out , but it didn't call out to you letting you know he was leave , which confused you. “jeno?” you called out for him. “baby is that you?”

“sorry bun it's not your boyfriend.” there he was; after two weeks, he stood in the doorway of your room. “look who finally decided to show up after two weeks.” you looked back at your screen. “oh you're jealous?” you scoffed. “never , i still got fucked good while you were gone so.” he laughed. “yeah i'm sure you did , wanna hear how I fucked the past two weeks?” you shook your head. “nah , not interested?”

“yeah well , i'm gonna tell you anyway.” he closed the door, walking over to the bed; sitting down. “she was good.” he closed her laptop , sitting it on the bedside table. “but she wasn't you.” he climbed on top of you. “her pussy wasn't as wet as yours , not as tight either.” you smirked. “maybe because she wasn't your best friends girlfriend.” he shrugged. “maybe , she did suck my cock though.” you rolled your eyes. “well i'm not sucking you off so.” he grabbed your jaw. “didn't ask you to , her pussy also tasted good, couldn't compare to yours though cause you don't let me eat you out.”

“too intimate.” you moaned as he pulled your pants down. “yeah , whatever you say.” he pulled his pants down. “she called it off.” he said pulling your panties down , your cunt now on display. “why cause you're annoying?” you snickered , he slapped your thighs. “ow fuck.” you cursed. “she said i seemed like i didn't want to take it further than fucking.” he got in-between your legs. “she was right.”

he slid right inside your cunt, both of you moaning out in pleasure. “yeah that's more like it.” he cursed. “such a tight pussy , missed it so much.’ you moaned out. “bet you and jeno had a time going at while i wasn't here.” he held your legs open. “so-so much fun.” you moaned. “he fucked you on every surface didn't he?” you nodded moaning. “lucky fucking bastard i swear.”

he sped up his pace , the headboard slamming against the wall as he fucked into your cunt. “fuck your pussy is even wetter today , what did he fuck you before he left?” you nodded , you and jeno did have sex before he left. “damn should've came earlier.” he cursed as you tightened around him. “could've watched if he said yeah, see what it looks like when he's fucking you , i bet you it good.” you wanted to ask if he wanted to fuck jeno instead; but you couldn't get anything out do to a voice— jenos voice.

“I would hope so.” jaemins head turned and you looked up, trying to push the boy out of you; but jeno stopped you. “no , don't stop on my account.” your boyfriend said. “you two have been at it for the past 4 months, don't let your boyfriend be the one to stop you now.” he closed the door as he walked into the room. “what you think i didn't know?” he smirked. “come on baby i can't believe you thought i was that dumb , you two weren't even hiding it.”

jaemin started to move again; might as well finish. “ja-jaemin stop.” you moaned. “no jae don't stop, keep fucking her.” your boyfriend said. “make her cum like you've been doing the past 4 months.” jaemin moaned, he didn't care about anything except for getting his dick wet. “the hickeys on jaemins neck , your messy hair everytime you greeted me at the door, baby you wanted me to know.” he said. “jae that girl said you showed no interest in her , i knew you didn't, cause you were fucking my girlfriend.” he said. “just wanted to see how long you'd last before you came back.” jeno was already taking his shirt off. “if you wanted to share my girl you should've just asked , i would've said yes.”

you moaned out hearing your boyfriend say that. “you hear that jae? she liked hearing that.” jeno pulled his cock out from his shorts. “if i was to share my girl with anyone it would be you.” he held your head , pushing the tip of his cock on your lips. “open your fucking mouth.” your boyfriend groaned as he forced his cock into your mouth , you moaned around his length as he fucked your face. “fu-fuck she gives great fucking head.”

“sh-she never sucked me off.” jaemin said still stuffed inside your cunt. “fuck you're missing out , when im done using using her throat , you'll have to give it a go.” jeno began to fuck your face. “tight fucking throat , baby you should've sucked him off.” jeno grunted as he used your throat like a toy , lifting your shirt revealing your titties. “nice pair of tits she has on her doesn't?” jaemin nodded. “so pretty.” they both squeezed them , making you moan around jenos cock. “gotta put your cock in between them -fuck- i came so fast.” jeno , held your head down , thrusting into your mouth as jaemin sped up his movements , pushing you further down on his best friend's cock. “fu-fuck I'm gonna cum.”

the pair pulled out; both of them stroking their cocks before coming all over your body , covering you in their warm cum. “fuck why'd you pull out of her?” jeno sat back breathlessly. “only let's you she said.” they talked like you weren't there. “let's change that next time.” jeno looked down at you. “next time you gonna let jaemin cum inside that pretty pussy of yours right?” you nodded , jeno slapped your cunt. “answer my fucking question.” you yelped. “yes , fuck!” jaemin smirked , he definitely was looking forward to next time.

“ass up baby , you know how i like it.” jeno said , maneuvering your body. “look at this messy cunt , using it just for anybody or just me and jaemin?” he shoved a finger inside you. “you liked fucking my best friend?” you moaned as he added another finger. “answer me slut , you liked having my best friends cock inside you? 4 months slutting yourself out to him thinking i was so dumb.” he scoffed pulling his fingers out of you making you whine. “s-sorry jeno.” he slapped your ass. “don't apologize just do what you're good at.” he lined himself with your entrance. “using your pussy.”

with one full stroke he was inside you, you screamed out. “fucking hell, so fucking tight.” he groaned. “go a head use your mouth on jaemin , show him how good that mouth is.” jaemins cock bobbed in your face , tip red and ready to be sucked. “baby i didn't say stare dumbly at it , put it in your fucking mouth.” you weakly lifted your hand up, holding his cock in your hand , kissing his tip before bringing him into your mouth. “fuuuuck.” jaemin dragged out, finally feeling the warmness of the inside of your cavern after 4 months of fucking around with you. “good right?” jeno cursed as he thrusted inside you. “so fucking good.”

they both used you like a toy , their moans and the slapping of skin turned you on , eyes rolling to the back of your head as they used you for their own pleasure. “should be pissed at you both, cheating on me with my best friend; in our fucking bed, i have every right to throw you both the fuck out.” he cursed. “letting him use you for 4 months. he slapped your ass. “sh-shit it's just so fucking hot.” he groaned, forcing your head down on jaemins cock , making you gag and the boy in front of you moan out. “next time you two fuck in my bed , in my apartment , i better fucking be here.” he groaned. “this shit happens under my permission from now on.”

jaemin cursed; fucking your face, jeno behind you fucking into with so much force. “show jaemin how you cum for me.” your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as you came , tightening around his cock as you shook. “sh-shit , gonna fill this pussy.” jeno cursed; jaemin already pulled out our mouth and he was stroking his cock above your face. “gonna cum.” he sighed , grunted out as he came , his cum dripping from his cock to your face , that sent jeno off , he thrusted one , two , three more times before came , filling your tight hole with his warm seed.

“take some time to get dressed and come out and eat.” he said , getting up. “jaemin let's go.” the boys got dressed. “jeno.” you said. “i’m not mad , i could've stopped this a long time ago , i've known since the first time you both did it.” he said , looking in between you both. “but like i said this stops today.”

“you wanna share my girl? fine. but you're gonna fuck her with me here.”

[elizzsush]

“Fuck you Comic Con nerds!” | DC - Batman WIP

Batfam X Isekaied Reader

— in which you, a DC fan gets isekaied into and gets saved by boy wonder. Only to get mad at him and B… it’s only after you calm down (still mad at them) you piece together what actually happened… but should you tell them?

AU: Soulmate (?), isekai Rating: Sfw

Note: You and Damien are the same age and shit. I don’t really remember how old he is but for the sake of fanfiction let’s age him up to 18 (or down I looked it up and it said he was 37? I have no idea where that info was from comic are confusing)

Warning: Y/N swears a lot and makes a like one sexual joke? _________________________________

One minute you were in the greatest, most magical place in the world: Six flags. And the next you were in the sewer. To say you were pissed and totally confused was an understatement. Those funnel cakes by the entrance were calling your name- you were gonna get one before you left! Now instead of that sweet cake smell it was replaced with the smell of shit and piss and whatever else lived in the sewer.

Sixflags was suppose to be relaxing- doctors orders. You just needed to relax and distract from-

You were in the sewers. You dreaded to think about what you may have stepped in while on your quest to find a manhole cover.

So yes, you looked like an idiot in a Superman cape carrying a Wayne enterprises mug wondering around the sewers. The mug was half off and made you feel like you existed in the world of DC instead of the regular merchandise… and the cape was because who doesn’t get a cape when they go to six flags? Or at least bring the cape they already bought with them. Looking back, you blamed the mug. Anyway, you were wandering around this horrible sewer with water greener then green. It seriously looked toxic… when you heard this horrible roar…

You glanced back from where you came- looking towards the sound, when you heard it again. So, like any sane person. You broke out into a sprint.

Bad ideas, because it heard you and was coming closer now.

You seriously doubted you would be able to outrun this thing for long. It was getting closer and rapidly. But, thankfully, luck was on your side- because you saw a manhole cover!

Climbing the ladder you pushed the thing open-

Only to almost get ran over by a fucking car! “Watch it!” You cursed at the speeding car, a certain finger proudly in the air as you climb out. Momentarily forgetting about the creature that was chasing you. Remember that you slammed the man hole cover shut in a hurry.

But, did you think you could compete with some monster when it comes to the battle of strength? Yeah, didn’t think so either. It blasted the manhole cover off of its neat little spot and you hurry back and away from the road. “What the- oh my god.” You breath in relief when the thing was too big to actually climb out of the sewers. “Killer croc… okay… I’m losing it… whatever it is…” you try and breath out to collect yourself but you were interrupted by the sound of a very angry lizard man… thing. Crocodile? “Okay fuck off!” You shouted angrily at the villain and rip your cap off. “Abusive aunts or some shit is hard but by god your annoying!” You huff and run away because that just made him more angry and you didn’t want to stick around for that.

You did run away while waving two fingers at him, each from the middle of two of your hands but that was neither here nor there. You just needed to walk away and clear your head-

And…

You bumped into someone on your little escape. A chest of a fucking cosplayer. “My day couldn’t be going worse- oh my god, Fuck you Comic Con nerds!” You swore at the boy in black, red and green. “Six flags was suppose to be fucking relaxing!” You swore at him and turned away to go the opposite way only to bare witness to the snarls of a certain croc

“get back here!” He made the fucking ground shake.

“Fuck you and your shitty Damien cosplay, I am out of here.” You turn and ran from him only he to met with the silhouette of a bat… man, it was fucking Batman. “Oh I wonder who it is? Bruce Wayne, no fucking duh, Go fight the idiot on acid and leave me out of it.” You hissed because you were cornered. You tend to lash out when your cornered. He approached you quieter now. “…Oh um, I’ll take the crocodile, thanks.” You spoke as you backed up only for him to make the ground shake harder-

“Fine! Boy wonder then god damn. At least he’s hot!”

“How do You know our names?” Boy wonder piped up. He was suddenly standing beside you.

“Are You dense or really into role play?” You hissed at them. “I don’t know what kind of budget your little prank crew is working with but screw off!” Just then the crocadile managed to ruin the ground around him and break free- resulting in Batman and Robin to fight him and you-

The sane one to run away, “I’m so suing six flags for this- didn’t sign up for their fucking role-play shit.”

—————————————

Okay, so after adjusting. You were no longer in six flags- nor some rich nerds cosplay special effects whatever. Hell you didn’t even somehow end up on a movie set shooting for the next Batman. “Gotham more like god dammit, right?” You joked to yourself, and the old women next to you. She just looked at you weirded out and oddly disappointed before shaking her head. “Okay, Fuck me then.”

So, yeah, you were feeling a lot of emotions. Hey, you can adjust to this! Because no way in hell was getting back to your world worth being involved in whatever episode or comic plot this whole thing was. Yeah no, fuck that. You made a checklist.

1. Get out of Gotham (metropolis was lovely, Superman was cool-)

2. Get enough money to fuck off to some corner of the world no one knew about.

And finally 3. Live peacefully knowing you’ll never get that funnel cake.

The only problem? You didn’t have any money, food, shelter, phone, money again, or anything besides the clothes on your back. And you were craving funnel cake. Yes, you were poor in Gotham. That was basically a death sentence.

At least you had a mug. A stupid, useless mug. Hey, at least you can beg for change with it! “I should rob people.” You mutter to yourself because, that seemed like a good easy way to get money- the old women next to you however eyed you warily and moved her purse. “Not you, we’re cool Margaret.” You sent her a wave and a wink and got up. This plan would work.

It was this or sell the Justice leagues names to villains. Which- hey that could make cash and make you dead!

—————————————

Despite what people will tell you, stealing is fun.

Who would have guessed- your a natural pick pocket! If pick pocketing was running past women and tugging their bags away. “My bag! My purse!” Okay, maybe you had a bit of a sick sense of humor but you were desperate! And you made 132 dollars and 25 cents. Had it been two days? Yes, had you been pepper sprayed twice? Yes again, but you avoided it!

The only regret you had? Why hadn’t it been marvel? Marvel just seemed easier to live in. Yes the world did end but it bounced back! You sighed and threw a penny in the air. You were honestly tired. Two days was a long time to go without a bed. You couldn’t get a job either, you tired and needed so much to prove you were a serial killer or a thief- which included a birth certificate you didn’t have and so much more. Background checks would be the death of you. Even at that small cafe you met Margret? Yeah it was Margret. “Well we’ll well, if it isn’t Gotham’s newest petty criminal.”

You dropped your penny. Leaving you with 24 cents.

It was Jason fucking Todd.

“If I die, at least make it by those thighs.” You said solemnly, accepting your death. “I mean seriously, you squat or something?” You did a wolf whistle and now you were being detained. Okay, you tried.

You never claimed to be better then a man. And if you did you lied.

“I got her B.”

.

.

.

.

“Banananannaan Batman! Da Na!” You sang as Batman’s Batmobile pulled into the bat cave. The same one you had been dragged too. “He’s the crime fighting vigilantes who works alone! Besides Robin, Nightwing, Gordon, the Justice League, batgirl, Red Robin, red hood, Oracle, Barbra, um… I know theirs more help me out jay bird?” You sang as he excited the car. “He refuses to kill the joker who’s a mass murder ands death would save thousands! It’s Batman! The hero man! Danananana!”

“How do You know?” Batman asked as he walked towards you.

“The Song? Oh I improvised. Hard to find rhymes for Batman, hero man is pretty good though, huh?” He fucking punched you! “Fuck! What the hell dude? Wait are you the angry Batman who’s quieter or the nice Batman- god it’s so hard to know which one I ended up with.”

“This is serious.” Dick Said as he grabbed Batman hand and pulled him away from you.

“Heard of coping? penis?” You rolled your eyes, “this is kinda how I do it.”

“You sold our information, or Superman’s information too a villain. Tell us why and how you knew it and we’ll let you go.” He continued, “our friend is in serious danger now because of you.” He gritted his teeth looking upset.

You just rolled your eyes and licked your now bloody teeth. “Would have sold your guys information for a lot more then I got on me. Living large with eight dogs- maybe cats? Don’t know how I feel about animals actually. Which do you prefer dogs or cats?”

“We need to know how many villains you sold us out too.” Dick said calmly, his face getting closer to your own. “Now.”

You smile and lean closer to him. “You free after this?” He backed away with a frustrated look and Batman put his hand on Dick shoulder. “Oh B is tapping in now- great!”

“Your the only person who knows who we are.” Another voice said you looked behind you and saw Damien.

“That you don’t trust. Maybe check your inner circles before punching a poor thief! God… you’d think the world greatest detective would fact check- oh wait isn’t the greatest a chimp or something? I’ve always loved monkeys- oh maybe I’d get a monkey for my pent house.”

“You have no family, no friends, no birth certificate- before last week you didn’t exist. There are no records of you being born or traveling to Gotham. Who exactly are you?” Batman leaned close to you.

You stayed silent, thinking of your options. "I was with a traveling circus..." You began, "Then one day someone rigged the equipment for my parent's routine and then batman adopted me, and that was how I began robin..." You spoke solemnly, you noticed how a certain blue suited bird man tensed up. "Aw, don't tell me we have the same backstory!" You accused the Nighwing, "well one of us is going to have to change it and I hate to tell you, but I make it work."

"She knows more about us than our names... or at least more about Nighwing." You heard a robin mutter, the red one.

"Okay being red was his thing” you look at red hood, “and you took it, so you have no place to talk about me and penis's copycat situation- Even though I totally did it first and he should change it." You nudged your head towards Red Hood, "Kinda like how you took his role as Robin, but you know what Ima stay away from that can of worms haha." You laughed awkwardly as Jason stood up from behind you and walked towards you menacingly.

"This is a Major Turn Off for me you know? The costumes just don’t do it- maybe if you strip-“ and your mouth was tapped shut.

_____________________________________NOTE: Y/N is supposed to be Deadpool coded because I was watching Deadpool and laughing my ass off earlier.

[wonderjanga]

Revival

(I posted this on accident when I meant to put it in drafts, anyone who saw that, you didn’t)

Anyways , so Billy casually revives Mary and Freddy whenever they die in their marvel forms. (For this AU, let’s say they’re still super durable, but they’re less durable than Marvel) Like for example:

*Mary and Marvel are fighting a super strong monster. It swings one of its claws at the two, hitting the both of them. It gives Billy a scratch but Mary just dies.*

Marvel: *forgets about the monster immediately* “Oh my gods…” *looks down at her looking properly disturbed and uses tip of boot to move Mary onto her back to see if she’s really, really dead.* “That’s… a nasty one.” *Bends down and fixes her face and wounds up with magic.* He’s revived them before but seeing them die never ceases to scare him. What if he can’t save them the next time?

Mary: *alive but unconscious*

Marvel: *picks her up and zips off to the Rock of Eternity* “Okay, Mary… I’m just gonna…” *Puts her down on the floor and runs around the rock finding blankets upon blankets and a singular pillow. Puts them all on her and puts the pillow under her head.*

Mary: *wakes up slightly and tries to sit up* “Billy, what happened?”

Marvel: “You uh… got knocked out.” *Pushes her back down so she can lay back down* He hasn’t told either of them that nine times out of ten, whenever they get knocked out, they die. It causes a major argument when they find out. “Just go back to sleep, Mary. I’ll take care of the monster.” If anyone saw this, they would truly think he’s her dad.

Mary: “The monster’s still out there?” *already on the verge of going back to sleep*

Marvel: “Not for long.” *tucks her in extra tight and pats her head before flying back to Fawcett*

or

*JL are fighting some aliens. These aliens are actually a little harder than normal. Some of their weapons burned Billy such as the ray-guns. (Which looked awesome) After closer inspection, the ray-guns had some type of magic signature. (Is it bad he finds that even cooler?) Freddy’s also there. The ray-guns affect him more than Billy. He dies when the aliens use a particularly big gun when Billy’s too distracted to help him. He doesn’t even realize Freddy died (again) until all the fighting is over and he’s looking for him.*

Marvel: *Flying around, looking around for Freddy* “Junior! Junior, where’d you go?” *Sees Freddy just laying there and flies down, touching down on the ground* “Junio…” *trails off when he sees Freddy’s dead and walks over to the corpse*

Superman: *flies down and lands next to Marvel* “Cap, Hal’s asking if you want to go for drinks. Do I tell him you’re not going—” *covers mouth when he sees Freddy.*

Marvel: *kneels down in front of Freddy.* How long had he been like this? Could Billy even save him now? He’s so charred… *feels impending dread and nausea creeping up*

Superman: “I- Marvel- I’m so sorry…”

Marvel: *spiraling as he stares at Junior*

Batman: *appears from the shadows* “I know what it’s like to lose a child, Marvel.” *puts hand on Billy’s shoulder* “If you ever need to talk to someone…”

Marvel: *shrugs hand off and starts to try and heal Freddy* “I’m fine.” *keeps muttering that he’s fine and the whole situation is fine as he continues to heal Freddy.*

Batman and Superman: *staring at Marvel in pity*

Superman: “…Marvel?” *Walks up behind Billy* “Marvel. He’s not fine.”

Freddy: *healed, alive but unconscious*

Marvel: “Yes, he is.” *Picks Freddy up* “He’s perfectly fine. I uh- I gotta go.”

Superman: “Cap, wait!”

Marvel: *Zooms off the rock. Ended up doing the same thing he did with the blankets before with Mary to Freddy.*

The league are gobsmacked when they see Freddy talking to Billy as if they hadn’t heard from Supes and Bats that he died. Billy also found a few grey hairs when he detransformed.

[voguesriot]

SUNBURN ✹ luke castellan

( summary ) a social media au about chb’s fav couple (& their fav shitstirrer, aka percy jackson)

( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite cabin-coded!reader & small bits of baby percabeth

( notes ) first post ahhh!!! this was so fun to make

♫ Ant Pile by Dominic Fike

♡ liked by wisegirll , silenabeauregard , and others

yourusername my bf is hot but dominic fike if u wanna hmu i can ditch him it’s no biggie 😁🫶

lukecastellan EXCUSE ME

lukecastellan you already completed your rite of passage why do you need to break my heart 😔💔

yourusername want me to kiss that bruised ego better?

lukecastellan sigh… i guess…

seaweedbrain BOOO TOMATO TOMATO BOOOOO

seaweedbrain get his ass off my screen 🤣🤣

lukecastellan sparring arena. you and me. now.

groverunderwood bros rlly beefing with a 13 yr old

seaweedbrain the typa guy to tell me to kms bcs i voted him out in roblox total drama island

clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide

yourusername no more like content from here on out 🙅‍♀️

lukecastellan wtf???

yourusername sorry babe i don’t argue with girls who have big brown eyes, whatever she wants she’s gonna get

silenabeauregard YOU LOOK SO CUTESY

yourusername I LOVE U 🥹❤️‍🩹

chrisrodriguez lukecastellan bro ik nobody else here fw you, but i’ll always fw you 💗

lukecastellan you’re a real one bro 👊

aphroditecamper1 u guys are so cute ☹️

♫ Babydoll by Dominic Fike

♡ liked by cbeckendorf , connorstroll , and others

lukecastellan yeah your girl might have a general grasp on battle strategies or whatever but can she bring an oddly unsettling vibe and a cute smile to the function? DIDNT THINK SO ‼️‼️‼️

seaweedbrain put a shirt on man nobody wants to be seeing all that trust 🙏

lukecastellan i wonder if your dad would’ve stayed if you weren’t such a hater

seaweedbrain i wonder if your dad wouldn’t have become the ten dollar founding father if you mom swallowed

yourusername woah…

seaweedbrain when he goes low i go LOWER

wisegirll too far percy

seaweedbrain sorry ma’am

clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide

lukecastellan it’s my account???

clarisselarue i stand by what i said.

chrisrodriguez yk i can bring an oddly unsettling vibe too and my ma said my smiles pretty cute so…

yourusername yeah you bring such a crazy vibe!!

chrisrodriguez now that’s just rude

yourusername tried to be a homewrecker but you got wrecked instead 🤷‍♀️

wisegirll yourusername your lashes look so good!!!!

yourusername MY BABY THANK U I LOVE U UR MY FAV PERSON EVER

clarisselarue WTF???

silenabeauregard WTF?????

seaweedbrain WTF????

lukecastellan i’m used to this by now 😔💔🥀

♫ Woman Screaming #2 by Anton Hughes

♡ liked by wisegirll , racheledare , and others

seaweedbrain does he just not own a shirt… COVER YOUR BOOBS SIR PLEASE THERE ARE CHILDREN

lukecastellan why are you taking pics of us having a nap… fan behaviour icl

seaweedbrain i needed proof to file a police report against you for theft

lukecastellan how did you know??

seaweedbrain i was talking ab stealing my innocence but what were you thinking…

yourusername wait perce can you send me the second pic it’s so cute

yourusername send the first one too actually please

seaweedbrain pick yourself up you’re stronger than this what happened to women who stand on business 😔

yourusername i was standing!!! but then my feet hurt and he picked me up :)

seaweedbrain sigh

chrisrodriguez bros looking fine oh my gods

lukecastellan don’t matter if i’ve got a world of haters, i got you by my side

yourusername i’m just gonna leave…

clarisselarue yourusername just saying i’d never pull that shit

lukecastellan ok joke over ha ha funny

wisegirll percy this is a bit stalkerish 😭

seaweedbrain i’m sorry you’re right

this post has been deleted.

[love-belle]

i bet you think about me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is just them shading each other on instagram and co parenting their cat.

or

for when you know they're thinking about you. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

sequel - i'll be loving you for quite some time ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language. both the reader and lando are petty bitches having a petty virtual stand-off.

author's note - hello!!!!! so sorry for the wait, i've been busy with stuff :/// i really hope u like this <3 thank u so much for reading!!! i love u <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, lewishamilton and 786,416 others

landonorris happier than ever.

8,927 comments

username THE CAPTION

username oh.

username no bc why did this hurt me.

username my heart can't take it what the fuck

danielricciardo unnecessary caption but alright.

-> landonorris i did not lie though???

username WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

username i haven't recovered from their breakup and now ur telling me that they ended on bad terms??????

-> username no they're fine!!!!!!! this is just lando being silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username no bc why THE FUCK is lando out here looking all fine while my girl y/n was seen crying in front of her mom yesterday

-> username weren't there rumours that they broke up bc y/n was committed to this relationship more than lando was????

-> username oh what the fuck

username "happier than ever" like we didn't see u and y/n all those years with eachother

maxverstappen1 👍

*liked by landonorris*

username nah bc if i was y/n i would be so hurt by this what the fuck.

-> username imagine going through a breakup after being together for more than 2 years and they post THIS after a WEEK like

lilymhe fake ass bitch

*this comment has been deleted*

username god i love lily defending her wifey

username LANDO HOW AM U SUPPOSED TO DEFEND U LIKE THIS

username no bc my heart's aching for y/n she doesn't deserve this

charles_leclerc need to talk to you real quick.

-> carlossainz55 just a friendly chat!

-> username oh they're maaaaaaad

username im a child of divorce what the fuck

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

yourusername i’ll think of something else your initial can stand for

*this post is not available*

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, danielricciardo and 789,979 others

yourusername blocking him isn't enough when i want to throw tomatoes at his head like he's a medieval criminal

8,926 comments

username PLEASE

username SOMEONE TELL ME THEY SAW Y/N'S LAST POST

-> username NO BC WHEN U TELL U MY HEART BROKE

-> username "i’ll think of something else your initial can stand for" do u want me to cry.

username bet lando feels like an asshole after seeing that post 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-> username imagine fumbling so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lilymhe replace those tomatoes with concrete blocks and we're good!

-> yourusername alright slow down

-> username HELP

username y/n liking all the comments roasting lando but blocking all the ones who are hating on him is actually so personal to me

-> username like girl hates him but only she's allowed to do it

-> username my parents!!!!!!!!! divorced but parents nonetheless!!!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc i can arrange the tomatoes

-> carlossainz55 i can lock him in a room for you to throw tomatoes at him

-> danielricciardo i can stand by and record the whole thing for you to look back on and laugh

-> yourusername i adore each one of you wtf ☹️☹️☹️

username that prev caption hits hard knowing that lando got her a necklace with his initial 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username THE LYRICS TOOK ME OUT OMG

username imagine breaking up with ur bf and seeing that post he posted after you posted a heartbreaking yet wistful post abt him like

-> username ngl that's gonna be my last straw

francisca.cgomes asking pierre to show it to him brb

-> yourusername LMFAOOO PLEASE

username this is so chaotic i CANNOT

username mother is mothering so hard after her breakup

-> username she broke free of the shackles 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

*liked by yourusername*

username babe it's okay me and our kids forgive u just come home ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 sending this to him

-> yourusername do it no balls

-> username pls she's so unserious i love her 😭😭😭

*liked by yourusername*

username i KNOW he looked at this post and cried

*liked by yourusername*

username me when they still post abt eachother but indirectly and with shady undertones 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

username i will get over a lot of things but i will never get over y/n and lando breaking up

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 758,989 others

landonorris pov: you're better now 🤍

7,926 comments

username pov ur a liar.

username lando it's okay honey u don't have to lie

username he said this yk like a liar

maxverstappen1 not me watching you wipe your tears right now

-> landonorris LEAVE ME ALONE

username the way i've been crying since i found out and it's not even my relationship like DAMN.

username lando how does it feel to fumble a bad bitch like y/n 🎤🎤🎤

username no bc i KNOW the drivers reallllllllly gave it to lando after they found out about the breakup

username IS THAT Y/N'S CAT

-> username they're co parenting caz 💀💀💀

-> username it's weekend with dad ig 😭😭😭

danielricciardo pov: you're a liar ❤️

-> landonorris choke ❤️

username max and daniel really calling him out on his bullshit 💀💀💀

-> username as they should

username the way i fell to the floor when the articles first came out abt their breakup

username so y/n WAS committed to this relationship more than he was

username me having a nice day and suddenly remembering the fact that lando once said that y/n was everything he had spent his life looking for and everything he thought he'd never find

-> username I WAS HAVING A NICE WHY DO U DO THIS TO ME

username "pov: you found your soulmate" hahahahahaha!!!! im fine!!!! totally not going crazy over this!!!!!

-> username do u get deja vu

carlossainz55 lies.

-> landonorris blocked.

username need them back together again for mental stability i fear

username they're actually very happy together my delusions told me!!!!!!!

username no way they're just over like that when we could SEE how much they loved eachother like

-> username the articles being all "they had different priorities" NO MF THEY KEPT SAYING HOW THEY COULDN'T WAIT FOR THEIR FUTURE TOGETHER

-> username to the person who wrote those articles, drop the addy i just wanna talk :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe and 779,189 others

yourusername when u know he's gonna think u every time he hears a taylor swift song and it'll make him want to CRY

7,532 comments

username the ultimate revenge

username the way i lit up whenever i see one of them posted but it's literally just them shading eachother like I CANNOT.

username LMFAOOOOO

carmenmmundt he'll listen to lover and it'll make him want to cry

-> georgerussell63 playing that the next time he walks in a room

-> yourusername thank u for ur service carmen's bf

username the way this whole thing is like a tennis match 💀💀💀

username ngl this is so entertaining

username couple weeks since they broke up and this is how their post breakup era is going

-> username when they're still so 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

username they're just being silly!!!!!!!! just a prank y'all!!!!!!!! silly y/n and lando!!!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

danielricciardo can confirm that exile was playing when i walked into his driver's room

-> yourusername HELP OMG

-> username not exile LMFAOO

username why are u so pretty

username post break up glow be hitting different ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username women become 1000000x more beautiful everytime a m*n disappoints them

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe asking alex to make all the playlists just taylor swift babe we're destroying his peace

-> yourusername OKAY SLOW DOWN FOR A MIN

username y/n telling her fans to be kind and lando straight up to ignoring everything does tell u a lot abt them tbh but some people are not ready for that conversation yet

-> username the way y/n and him were FINE after their breakup until he posted with that caption likeeeee

-> username nah bc what if.............HE WAS THE PROBLEM

-> username men need to go back to war

lewishamilton can't wait to see you next week!! roscoe misses his favourite dogsitter!!

-> yourusername missing my buddy so much 🤍🤍🤍 see you both next week!!!!!!!

username the entire grid adores her i can TELL

username this is what he deserves

username no bc i know im supposed to sad that they broke up but them posting abt each other indirectly while having the other person blocked is so hilarious

username my y/nlando heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username the grid still being close to y/n is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 799,186 others

landonorris how i feel every time i hear a taylor swift song and my mind goes straight to her

7,931 comments

username NOT HIM USING HIMSELF AS MEMES

username so who's gonna tell him.

username people who follow both of them 💀💀💀💀💀

username lando...babe...

username no bc they DO shade eachother and roast eachother since they broke up but the fact that y/n tells all the ppl hating on lando to "shut the fuck up and get a fucking life" and lando straight up blocks them is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS

danielricciardo chuckles knowingly

-> landonorris WHAT DO YOU KNOW

-> danielricciardo NOTHING

-> landonorris WHAT

-> danielricciardo NOTHING OH MY GOD

username smirks

username good.

username yes cry abt it x

username the way "the 1" is literally them LIKE

-> username "it would've been fun if you could've been the one" 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username CAN U HEAR ME CRYING

charles_leclerc this is interesting

-> landonorris ?

username lando being confused is sending me 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username y/n fr manifested this 💀💀💀

username IM GIGGLING THIS IS HILARIOUS

username someone send this to y/n

*liked by danielricciardo*

maxverstappen1 we get what you mean but please stop playing the 1

-> landonorris none can do sorry

username NOT LANDO PLAYING THE 1

username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username y/n is chuckling rn i can feel it

lilymhe this is interesting!

-> landonorris WHAT IS

username OH MY GOD

username them shading eachother while having the other person blocked is top tier comedy i cant

username the next race is gonna be so interesting I can't wait 🗣️🗣️🗣️

username PLEASE OMG

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and 1,829,851 others

yourusername i bet you think about me

8,467 comments

username MOTHER

username ATE

username HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD

username step on me please.

username i KNOW he looked at this post and cried

lewishamilton as pierre taught me, slayed the house down with boots or whatever

-> yourusername LEWIS OH MY GOD

-> yourusername but thank u that means sm to me 💌

username SHE'S SO SVANAKDJDMKSJSJ

username iconic.

username taylor swift always right !!!!!!!!!!

carmenmmundt pretty pretty

-> yourusername yeah you you

username my bi awakening

-> username that's so real actually

username THIS IS PERFECT

username someone thank daniel for showing lando's post to y/n so that we could get THIS

*liked by danielricciardo*

username WOMEN

lilymhe marry me rn idc i loveeee u ur so pretty ahahahaha pls.

-> yourusername babeeeeee i love u sm we're absolutely getting married idc abt ur bf we're eloping

-> alex_albon it's not even noon yet give me a break

username carmen, lily, kika and y/n ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username YEAH I BET U THINK ABOUT ME

username he DOES think about u

username no bc if i was lando i would be in my knees screaming crying throwing up for her to take me back

-> username real like how will u explain to people that u ended up fumbling a bad bitch

francisca.cgomes GORGEOUS

-> yourusername I LOVE YOU

username "i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of u"

-> username DIDN'T SHE POST THAT WHEN SHE ANNOUNCED THEIR RELATIONSHIP

-> username lord i am not strong enough for this.

username kinda missing them together ://

-> username i miss lando panicking in the comments section everytime y/n posted like homeboy was down BAD

-> username frrrr like he was down SO bad it was almost embarassing

username I JUST GASPED OUT LOUD HOLY FUCK

charles_leclerc can confirm

*liked by yourusername*

username I NEED LANDO'S REACTION TO THIS OMG

username both of their pr personnel are having a field day with this

-> username i would not want to be either of them today 💀💀💀

username exes beefing is so entertaining i swear im here for this petty bitch fight

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hi! It's me again! 🤗

I was reading about the awful things that happened to Aegon in the brothel. Him so desperately trying to be taken care of and only finding more abuse broke my heart 🥺 and also got me thinking... What if he doesn't have a good, loving wife to make it all better? 😭 What if instead, one of the workers (Reader) finally takes pity on him and treats him the way he needs so much? Taking him away from the awful workers and under her wing? I imagine he would become instantly addicted. Never letting other worker touch him again. Only accepting her services. I bet he would get possessive as well. Paying an enormous amount of gold to be the only one that can touch her.

Do you think he would dare bring her to live in the castle? Or even more scandalous, actually MARRY her? Or he would be too scared of his pious mother's reaction (as well as the rest of the kingdoms') to a whore becoming queen? There is also the possibility of him just gifting her a big house with servants, close to the castle, so he can visit whenever he wants needs... Sooooo many possibilities! 😳

What do you think?

Oh my god. Are you sure you don't want to take over this blog because this is INCREDIBLE??? I am obsessed. I actually think I'm gonna tag this with 'subby Aegon!au' so that we can discuss this more and you guys can easily use the tag to find everything about this because I fear this may be my new obsession.

Anyway, NSFW sub!aegon that starts very angsty but has a happy ending under the cut!!

So for anyone who missed the post that inspired this, we were discussing how Aegon would know he was a submissive and go to a brothel to submit to the workers there. He desperately wants to just be loved and cared for and feel like a good boy but none of the workers will do that and he doesn't quite have the language to explain what he wants/needs. So instead he just ends up going through all this abuse and humiliation and degradation just to hear them say he did well at the end. He always goes into subdrop afterwards and he feels so terrible but he also can't stop going because it's the only time that he actually feels like he's good enough.

For this AU, I think it makes the most sense that you first encounter Aegon after he's had a scene with someone else? Cause Aegon always pays very VERY well and so the brothel workers who have dominated him always ensure that no one else can lay with him because they want all that money? Like maybe the madam of the brothel you work at has a very strict rule that no one other than her is allowed to lay with the king. Of course there's plenty of rumours going around the brothel about what he likes he and pretty much everyone knows that the madam dominates him.

You first encounter Aegon after he finished a particularly brutal scene with the madame. Half an hour later when the madam wants to use that room again he's still laying there? He hasn't even gotten dressed, is just laying there with a thin blanket wrapped around himself.

The madam does not want to deal with him because she knows from experience that he gets all clingy and weepy after a scene and so she sends you in to kick him out. Well, she tells you to kick him out.

But then you walk in and he just... he looks so small? You slowly walk over and gently place your hand on his shoulder. He jumps up and scrambles off the bed, mumbling apologies because he knows the madam told him to leave and he still hadnt.

You quickly tell him it's alright, that he's done nothing wrong and the look he gives you is just so heartbreaking? He's all wide eyed and shocked and there's a very very small smile on his face when he whispers, "Really? I... you're sure? I'm good?"

Which, yeah there's no way you're kicking him out now. You help him get back into his clothes and then take him to your private room. The rule is supposed to be no clients in the personal quarters, but this is quite literally the king so you don't see anyone complaining.

You keep an arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him like that and he just leans against you? You can't believe that the madam doesn't stay with him after she dominates him, especially because he's just so sweet? He's leaning against you, mumbling thanks and letting you lead him without complaint. He's so sweet and vulnerable and you can't believe the madam would leave him and not care for him.

He's so shocked when he finds himself in your private quarters, and he's even more surprised when you wet a rag and gently clean the tears off his face. He leans into every one of your touches, trying to soak up as much attention as he can.

You ask him if you can undress him again so you can clean him properly, and he just starts sobbing and throws himself in your arms because he can't believe how lucky he is. You just hold him and tell him that he's doing so good, that you just want to get him cleaned up a little more and then he can take a nice nap with you.

He closes his eyes and cries silently as you clean him. There are welts on his back from the madam's whip so you have to ensure you clean them properly or risk infection. You expect to have to clean dried cum from between his thighs but to your surprise there's nothing?

When you ask, he just wines and mumbles, "Wasnt good, couldnt cum" which just breaks your heart because you refuse to entertain any possibility that this sweet little thing wasnt absolutely perfect.

You finish cleaning him and you're about to help him get his clothes back on when he just kinda collapses onto the bed. You don't even bother with that then and instead you just get into bed with him.

"Come here," you tell him, opening your arms and he immediately dives right in. You hold him tight and when you press a kiss to the e top of his head he just melts into you.

When he wakes, he's hard. He tries to apologise for it but you won't hear it, and you ask if you can help him. He tries to shake his head and say that he can't go through that again, but then you interrupt him and promise him that you only mean helping him cum and do nothing else.

He's so sweet when you stroke him, mumbling how good it feels and begging to cum and after he does, he even takes your hand and licks it clean? He's just the bed boy and he's clearly trying so so hard to please you, so you make sure to praise him constantly because the poor thing deserves it.

The next time he comes to the brothel, he tells the madam to get lost and asks for you. He won't even consider another, not after you cared for him and praised him and made him feel safe. Of course the madam is not happy about this, but she cant stop him and so he goes to the room and waits for you.

When you walk in and ask why he's asked for you, he just says that he really liked you from before. And then he actually looks nervous? Like you might tell him that he has to go back to the madam.

You tell him that as much as you'd love to, you can't do what the madam does to him. You explain that you can't degrade him or slap him or anything like that. But then he just smiles even wider and tells you he doesn't want that, he just wants what you did last time.

He seems all blushy and nervous and there's a very obvious tent in his breeches. You smirk then and say, "Aw, do you want me to take care of you? Yeah? Let me do all the thinking and you can just be my pretty good boy?"

Instantly he's slipping from the bed and down onto his knees, kneeling and nodding comically quick because yes. That's everything he's ever wanted and more.

And he's just so good for you? He listens to every single order, and he begs so prettily and his sounds are just insane. When it's over, you pull him into your chest and kiss his head and tell him he did so so well for you. He's just on cloud nine, because this is absolutely everything he's ever wanted and more.

When he leaves, he pays you double what he pays the Madam and when you tell him that's too much, he says that there's no amount of gold in the world that could be enough to thank you for how you looked after him. He asks if he can come back, if you'll let him do that again and of course you agree to let him.

The madam isnt happy with you of course, but she can't exactly force the king to lay with her instead. For about three weeks things continue like that, with Aegon visiting every few days and paying you very very handsomely. He always stays for a few hours after this, just getting cuddles and kisses.

After a while, the madam comes to you and is unhappy that Aegon will not be with anyone else. Aegon pays very handsomely and he also lets them basically beat him up, so of course the madam is unhappy that she no longer get aegon's time. Aegon, meanwhile, will not even look at another.

The next time Aegon comes to the brothel, you're with another client? As much as you wish that you could just see Aegon, if you did that then the madam would kick you out. The madam is overjoyed when Aegon walks in and you're with another client, because it means she can swoop in and tell Aegon you're busy but that she'd be more than happy to do it instead.

And Aegon just... he knew that obviously you had other clients, but knowing and actually being there while you were with someone else are two different things. His smile falls instantly, and he says that he doesn't want anyone else. The madam tries again, maybe even touching him and telling him to think about all the good times they had, which prompts him to stumble backwards and very firmly say that he won't be seeking the services of anyone else.

He ends up leaving the brothel and then comes back the following night and is so so relieved to find that you are free. He's much more whiney and clingy than you're used to, to the point where he cries if you even let go of his hand. You end up having to pull away o ask what's going on, because he seems very distressed. You hadnt seen him like that since you took care of him that first night.

He gets quiet and then eventually asks how many other men you see every day. You sigh, because you knew this question was coming and you're not sure what to say to him. You end up just saying that this is your job, and that the madam is already upset with you for being the only one he goes to so you can't risk only seeing him because then you'd almost certainly be kicked out of the brothel entirely and have no wear to live.

Before you had even finished speaking Aegon had already made up his mind to give you enough gold that you never have to be with anyone else. You try to tell him that's not necessary, but for him it absolutely is. He will not allow the only person who makes him feel good in the entire seven kingdoms to struggle to earn a living when he is quite literally the king.

At first you turn him down, stating that you have to earn your own way and that you can't rely on him.

And then he goes quiet for a moment before he just softly says, "But, I rely on you? We can rely on each other?" Which is just the sweetest thing you've ever heard. You kiss his head and let him curl against your chest, giving him a little squeeze before telling him that you won't let him pay everything, but you will ket him pay enough to the madam that she will allow you to only take clients of your choice and also to set aside 4 nights every week that are just for him. It's not everything he wanted, but it's pretty damn close. And Aegon is so obsessed with you that he will absolutely take 4 days a week of your undivided attention.

It carries on like that for a while, with you and him being together 4 nights a week and he's just... he's so sweet and he's so perfect and he loves being with you so much. Maybe sometimes he doesn't even want anything sexual? Which yeah is wild cause Aegon is pretty much always horny, but when he's getting so thoroughly fucked every second day, sometimes he just wants to be with you.

Even when he doesn't want something sexual, that is not at all to say he doesn't still want to come be with you. Aegon would sleep in the same bed as you every single night if he could. He also just loves being able to talk to you about his day? You always listen to him and offer him advice. He's never really even able to feel like he can decompress at the end of the day, but now he's always able to with you. He knows that the moment he walks through the doors, you will know how to help him.

I think that eventually you'd accept his offer of him being your only client, and the day you tell him that he is smiling and giggling for the entire day. He definitely buys you a little cottage close to the keep, and as much as you try to say he doesn't need to, he won't hear it.

In fact he actually loves providing for you like that? You do so so much for him and he knows he'd never be able to function without you and so to know that he can do something to help you is just amazing and it makes him so so so happy.

I absolutely adore this concept!! This ask is already insanely long so I'm not gonna go any further here but if anyone else has thoughts about this let me know!!! I'd love to discuss it more :))

[moonlight-records]

slip (stream) into my heart | CL16 (sm au!)

pairing: charles leclerc x streamer!reader

summary: a certain ferrari driver has taken a liking to a certain streamer and sees his chance to finally start chatting with them

warnings: fluff!

fc: none

a/n: an apology for disappearing! life got hectic but im back! im gonna start cranking writings out! this is my first attempt at a smau via instagram, a bit short! texts and twitter coming in part 2

edit: yeah changed the title very slightly NOBODY PANIC

current stream | future stream

yourusername

liked by yourbffusername and 2,539 others

yoursername twitchcon you'll always be famous to me. thank you to everyone who pulled up to the meet and greet! you guys are so sweet 🥹 i have a lot of decorating to do

view all 1,459 comments

user29 IM SO UPSET I DIDN'T GET TO GO NOOOOO

user4 it was such an honor meeting you!!

user30 literally such a sweetie irl! also your panel was so fun and thank you for the tips to baby streamers!

yourusername of course! im glad you had a great time!

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,305 more

yourusername being a ferrari fan is NOT for the weak 🙅‍♀️ this weekend been stressin me out rn 😔 everyone manifest a charles podium with me 🙏

view all 450 comments

user5 THEY'RE A FERRARI FAN SEND ALL THE PRAYERS

user30 god gives his toughest battles to his silliest gremlins fr yourusername liked this comment user5 FR user10 manifesting ferrari cooks this race

user29 i dont know anything but the circle will be started STAT

user23 YOU HEARD THE GREMLIN, PRAYER CIRCLE!

user43 PRAYER CIRCLE COMING RIGHT UP

yourusername posted on their stories

responses after the race

↳ charles_leclerc i didn't know you were such a fan of me it's a quite the honor

yourusername i am actually and i should be the one honored, you responded to me 🫣 charles_leclerc ma princesse, please you flatter me too much. hopefully i didn't disappoint you with only getting third yourusername you made it to the podium, so that's good enough for me 😘 charles_leclerc good 😊

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,000 others

yourusername movie night!

view all 304 comments

user10 HOWL'S MOVIE CASTLE!!!

user14 next movie for movie night! please!!

charles_leclerc howl's moving castle is my favorite movie

yourusername oh? favorite character, go charles_leclerc howl, obviously yourusername well, sophie's my favorite...so 🫣 charles_leclerc oh?

user5 OH?

user30 WHAT'S THIS?

user24 who's this charles leclerc guy? 👀

yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 1,402 others

yourusername had to flex on the hoes before watching barbie 😤 reminder no stream this weekend but stay tuned for some goodies! 🤭

view all 500 comments

user40 GET THEM HOES 💪💪

user30 MONTE CARLO MONACO???

user5 GREMLIN IS IN THE HEART OF CIRCUIT DE MONACO?! DURING MONACO GP?! user30 YEEEP user84 are they going to the monaco gp?! user30 OMG OMG OMG AND BOTH CHALRES AND ARTHUR LIKED THE POST!!!! user5 WORLD'S COLLIDING?! DO WE GATE KEEP? WE SHOULD GATE KEEP RIGHT!!!

charles_leclerc welcome to monaco!

yourusername thank you 😊 user5 OH MY GOOOOOD user30 WHAT IS HAPPENING?

yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 2,405 others

yourusername "money money money, must be funny, in a rich man's world" 💵🍾 monaco gp, im here ❤️

comments on this post have been turned off

[ofpd]

1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator

🐮 barkamtza

why does this shit always happen to me

#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later

0 notes

📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas

Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/

32 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏺neronero

off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹

🏺neronero

nvm guys. ✡️✡️

🏛 vespasian

my turn lol

53 notes

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport reblogged

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶

Read more

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

fuck

7,235 notes

⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.

anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.

#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse

231 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael

did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo

#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.

7 notes

📚 stammaim reblogged

stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102

ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...

stopbeingpoor

ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something

stopbeingpoor

EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die

stopbeingpoor

gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-

📚 stammaim

lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!

#yehezkel #marta b. baitos

162 notes

🕎 yalla-hapoel

🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:

Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.

are you fr.

#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear

28 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged

📖 ben-zakkai

⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol

🛡 goel-yisrael

? what does this mean

🗡 abbasikkara

dw about it bestie

🛡 goel-yisrael

ok 💗 yay 💗

6 notes

👩🏽‍🌾 discoursedumpblog

I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.

Read more

152 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏛 vespasian

some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him

🏛 vespasian

AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎

📖 ben-zakkai

omg just came across this old post

🏛 vespasian

OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏

14 notes

🫒 a-simple-yid

yirmiyahu tzadak...

#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.

3 notes