#not a sadist they just dont know how to get people to leave them alone and doesnt like being judged for being themselves

[ukusreticence]

trying to befriend a dude with literally 0 sense of socialization or even society and spends like 99% of his time in deep space with some serious sensory issues that gets responded with anger is a very taunting task

also the fact that side a needs so many 'accommodations' is the reason he doesn't even bother trying to make friends (we ignore the fact that there's probably plenty of literally just chill non talkative people he can hang with)

[snvffsoda]

some silly/random headcanons i have for Strade, Ren, and Lawrence!!

i know a lot of people like to think he kidnaps people from the same bar, using the kind of pick up lines, but that wouldn’t be an efficient way to keep the bodies coming, and he knows that, how long until someone catches him dragging an unconscious/unsuspecting person in his car? And makes a call to the police? Strade doesn't take chances, not with the cops, he may be insane, but he's still extremely smart at what he does, he would go out to clubs, late-night parties, concerts, crowded busy areas, anywhere he could slip in and find someone and leave toghther with less caring eyes on him.

has cut his finger while using his power tools and made Ren suck the blood from his finger before, not because he wanted comfort or anything he just wanted to see Ren's sheepish look while he did (Ren enjoyed it too for the blood, albeit nervously)

Strade is a confident, charismatic man, but i still think no matter how hard he tries to hide his sadistic psychotic tendencies, they bleed through him with the way he talks to people, you always get this underlying feeling of unease when he speaks which is why he prefers alcohol to be involved to get his victims, it'd be harder to notice Strade’s eyes staring just a little too long for comfort when you're 4 shots in

always keeps eye contact, almost to an uncomfortable amount, it feels like he doesn't even blink half the time his stare feels like his eyes are always threatening to pierce your skull open and see what's inside from his gaze alone.

Strade is strong, but he's no amazing fighter, if you're fast enough, and have the intent to win, or to kill him i dont think his brute force and heavy swings will do much plus i think he uses a lot of street fighting tactics ie; slamming, grabbing you and pinning you, using weapons instead of just his fist to his own detriment (and that’s what i think got him killed)

really good at texting, he's very descriptive when he texts almost like you're really speaking to him on the phone or in person, he doesn't use a lot of slang or emoticons, Doesn't abbreviate his words like ‘idk’ ‘wyd’ so on, and lots of Periods. Commas, exclamation points! might reply to something funny he sees with a ‘LOL’ in all caps or ‘😂’ but that's it.

really really wants to learn guitar efficiently, but his claws always cut and get caught on the strings when he tries to play so whenever he does try to play he plays with a pick, he doesn't play the best because of it, it was one of the first things he bought with Strade’s money after he died since Strade didn’t want him to get one because it was ‘too noisy’

avid gamer and discord user to an unhealthy amount, and will spam you with messages when you dont hop on the game he's spam inviting you to play with him

sleeps on Strade’s old shirts and pants and coats, anything to where he can get his scent again in his room will sometimes cry himself to sleep thinking about him when laying on them, muttering to himself how sorry he is for letting him die

he remembers and still can understand basic Japanese formalities and such, he's since tried to relearn his native language online, and he did horribly because he forgot almost everything

sassy, when he's stressed, or angry, he can and will be sarcastic and make sly remarks regarding the situation to you, roll his eyes, cross his arms, mutter to himself, just more on the pouty side when it comes to handling his stress

has a collection of old chew toys, he's torn and bitten through with his fangs when his more animalistic tendencies kick in when he's in heat or just needs to keep his mouth busy

has been sent to psychiatric mental hospitals many times before when he was an adolescent by his family he never made friends or spoke much when he was, he did well, and never caused trouble

he’s fallen asleep while in the bath and somehow hasn't drowned himself hundreds of times he can't help it, it reminds him of the river,,

smoking weed helps him sleep through the day, it keeps him in a deep sleep since he's a light sleeper, so he isn't startled awake by his neighbors stomping about during the day

enjoys horror movies like ‘Jacobs Ladder’ and ‘The Jacket’ movies where the protagonist feels as though they are already dead or trapped in their mind, he relates to that feeling when he watches those films

would definitely be the type to go nonverbal when he is high, resorting to nods and shaking his head to get his point across if he's with you and comfortable around you

hates sweet tea and store-bought tea in general, he hates the way they taste and the texture they leave on his tongue, he prefers making tea himself with his plants and the ingredients he grows

[kinki-cami]

Nah because i would FLORISH being an independent in affini society

Like first off, im not isolated immediately that brings me up by like 45% like i can go see that forest, hang out with the (hopefully not going to bite me or give me rabies) animals pet some squirrels say hi to the hummingbirds, i can go into public and walk around, id honestly probably start skipping bc thats what ive imagined so far considering i wouldnt be as depressed as i am now

Secondly, FULL customization of what i wear just be able to look how i want without fear, probably wear my denim look but with some extra like, an ACTUAL denim skirt that looks nice, maybe makeup if i was feeling up to it

Thirdly, just exploration. This is pretty much the miscellaneous second of this post. Because theres probably no money (i assume i need to do more research) before i get to that i fuckin love research i would know every fuckin affini custom by year 5, anyway because of presumeably no money, fake shop at the mall bc hell yeah fuckin love the mall its like a mini city, youd go in like you were going to the mall and like fake "check out" with like a fake credit card or something and yahh fun but also id just like go get coffee, possibly some matcha, skip around town wearing heels WITH my denim outfit, looking all fuckin cute, go see the plants (not affini like houseplants like mint) fuck id grow some bleeding hearts, some mint, make sure to pick up plant food, bc even tho i CAN do it in the hab unit, its more fun leaving to pick stuff up, it gives you a sense of accomplishment like "yahhhh i did something today 🥰 (its a crime theres no 'fist pump' emoji, i swear there are more useless emojis than practical ones)" and because i wouldnt be in one location for 6+ hours a day (excluding sleep) i would have time to do things that i WANNA do, like finish that pokemon book that im only on kakuna out of pecharunt. And i could drink my coffee/tea and go to the game store and play magic with peoples or pokemon, i could go play some dnd, write my damn books, skip around in heels bc skipping is happy but i wanna wear heels soo yahhhh

Yeah i may occassionally get harrassed but like if im polite and express boundries im sure theyll leave me alone or at least relatively along

By the way im going based off of the two stories ive read so far aight, so if this is very biased aight. Too bad i need to read more. But also like, i can express myself two 2 stories ok? Like a girl can fantasize anyway back my fantasy

Eventually id want an affini to adopt me but like, god id be pretty happy without drugs theyd need to actively make my life miserable to make me want the drugs, like, damn. Also with the number of times im cursing in this post any and all affini rp blogs are gonna be like "stop fucking cursing little indie" and to be fair i dont like cursing at people the only time i do is when im expressing myself or am pissed off i never call anyone curse words because its mean and i dont like being mean 🥺

Uhh and i think thats all my thoughts god i had Sadistic glee read the bonus chapters of hdg a bit ago anyway gotta gp finish those, then go finish the other one that im halfway through then go read more, if anyone has any not emotionally wrecking stories feel free to send them via asks or something like i dont wanna see characters despairing but i dont mind seeing their personality erased, as long as the struggle isnt super visible or is minimal

[haemosexuality]

im rewatching she-ra and naturally im gonna want to write about it a lot. starting by breaking down the catradora conflict origin story scene from s01e02 the sword part 2

people have said this before but the most important thing to keep in mind here is how different their understanding of whats going on is. theyre both approaching this with completely different views and so they misunderstand what the other means.

Adora: There's no time. We have to put a stop this.

Catra: What? Why?

Adora: Because this is a civilian town. Look around! These aren't insurgents. They're innocent people.

Catra: Yeah, sure. Innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer. Now come on, let's get you back to the Fright Zone. Shadow Weaver is freaking out. [laughing] It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person.

so immediately theres two things i wanna say about this part, about how catra reacts to stuff. first off, something we learn about catra throughout the whole show and especially in the portal-alternative-reality, is that shes big on Pretending Nothing Is Wrong. whenever shes feeling upset or angry about something, she will start joking around and acting like shes just totally super chill guys, dw ("Ugh, whatever. It's not like I even care. I just wanna get out of this dump at some point before I dieee of boredom). Shes acting like that in this scene. Adora was missing for hours, shadow weaver was breathing down her neck and threatening her, she was already worried adora might have left at this point. she cant let adora know how worried she was tho, so shes all jokes and fast paced conversation. To Adora, tho, it just looks like catra doesnt care, like she doesnt understand the gravity of the situation.

and the other thing is that honestly? I dont think catra does care. about the town, i mean. i think catra was ready for war in a way adora never was. theyre both seeing combat for the first time here, and adora hates it. training for war is completely different than being in the battlefield, and adora couldnt handle it. face to face with it she couldnt tolerate seeing people suffering and dying, houses being burned down, a whole village destroyed. when the horde brainwashed adora into thinking they were only doing the necessary to save etheria, she completely and fully believed it, and when faced with the reality of the horde she immediately realized how wrong that was. Catra, tho, could not care less. she never believed in what the horde said, she knew full well what the horde did, so this isnt a surprise for her. and i do think shes naturally a bit sadistic, or at least growing up among the violence of the horde made her so. either way, shes seeing battle here for the first time and shes completely fine with it. doesnt even spare it all a second glance. why would she care about these people she never met if the most important thing in the world is right here in front of her? (i think even if adora hadnt left that night and went into the battlefield as a force captain, she wouldve ended up deserting. she cant stand seeing people suffer and she cant stand not saving them. shes too good, too selfless for that. catra isnt.) (also she is so ready to kill at all times. she loves violence. i once saw someone say how shadow weaver thought adora was the "cutthroat, ruthless warrior" when that was actually catra and they were totally right)

adora is also trying something futile here, she doesnt need to explain to catra that the horde is bad and hurts innocent ppl because catra has known that all her life

Adora: Catra, no. I can't go back. Not until the Horde leaves this town alone. You have to help me.

Catra: What are you saying?

Adora: I’m saying, this is wrong. They've been lying to us, manipulating us. Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them.

Catra: Duh! Did ya just figure that out? Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing. She's been messing with our heads since we were kids.

(the captions in the pics are slightly wrong, nvm that.) everything i said before. adora just realized all of this, while catra has always known, probably because the abuse adora suffered was more manipulation-and-brainwashing, while shadow weaver always made clear to catra that she didnt give a shit about her, so she suffered physical abuse with little attempt to convince her this was fine.

the "what are you saying?" is one of the things that show how different their perspective is. adora is talking about going against the horde and helping the town, while catra immediately gets more personal. what do you mean? are you saying that you might leave the horde? leave me?

Adora: How could you possibly be okay with that?

adora means, how could you be ok with the horde lying about its actions, and killing innocent people? how could you be ok with the horde raising us to do the same? and catra hears, how could you be ok with shadow weaver and hordak abusing us?

Catra: Because, it doesn't matter what they do. The two of us look out for each other. And soon we'll be calling the shots. Now come on, can we go home already?

catra replies: because, i love you. because you have my back and i have yours. because nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other, remember? and soon enough, we'll be powerful enough that they cant hurt us anymore. Adora hears, because i dont care about these people dying, the only thing thats important is you and i. and anyways, soon its gonna be Us killing them, isnt that good? lets go back home to the evil murder place.

Adora: I'm not going home, Catra. I can't. Not after everything I've seen. Come with me. You don't have to go back there. We can fix this.

adora says: im starting to realize now how wrong i was about everything. we're not the good guys, and i cant stand for that. i cant stand around and watch people get hurt. i cant stand around and watch you get hurt. lets leave, together, and have a better life, please. lets do the right thing.

Catra: Are you kidding? You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? And now you're just gonna throw everything away for them?

catra hears, shes willing to leave me. after everything i did for her, all that i took, all of these years of us being together, she would still leave me. she would break our promise. she would leave me behind.

and then she straight up electrocutes adora. ok

she says it was a reflex, but i dont know if i believe her. i dont think she likes hurting adora (not physically. not by this point, anyways), but i do think that shes the type to lash out when upset and immediately regret it, then feel guily about it. which just makes her more upset. :(

Catra: Oh, man. That was a lot stronger than I thought. Are you okay?

Adora: Why are you doing this?

Catra: Because you left me! And if I don't bring you back, Shadow Weaver’s gonna have my head. So, enough with your weird little identity crisis and let's go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?

thats the last time they talk. adora gets teleported away by glimmer, and when they see each other again, its clear that they both made their choice.

the moment adora showed catra she was willing to leave her, there was no coming back for them. because catra would never get over that. she'd spend all her life in that hellscape, putting up with abuse and bullying and probably so much more we dont get to see, because of the promise adora made her. and, in her eyes, adora was ready to leave her on the first opportunity that came up. that hurt. that broke her. and that released something really ugly inside of her.

cue in 2,5 years of homoerotic rivalry and trauma. ok post over if you read this i hope you liked it <3 bye

[lovezbrownies]

small fun facts about all my characters :3

Nia Bloodwen:

-Owns a collection of erotic manga. Reads them until she eventually dies.

-Bashes chocolate and unhealthy eating in front of people but secretly owns a drawer full of chocolate and sweets and snacks. She only does this so people think she's superior.

-Once accidentally legalied murder, dont ask her how, she just signs papers!

Gen Ludenhart:

-She wanted Nia soo bad when she was younger, she's healed now.

-Taught Siolis and Red how to wield and shoot a gun one weekend when Sio was 8 and Red was 13. It was supposed to be a secret, Red couldn't wait to tell Grim and accidentally shot Grim, the kids weren't allowed near her without a chaperone for a long time (still aren't)

-Fully has a southern accent, she keeps it a secret.

Grim Ludenhart:

-Genuinely contemplated putting Red up for adopting numerous times

-Complete softy in bed, acts feral with foreplay but becomes the bitchiest man to exist when the act is finally being committed.

-Also has a southern accent and keep it a secret. Uses it to put the fear in his kids whenever they do something bad.

Siolis Ludenhart:

-Kind of a cannibal, likes eating human flesh, especially people without magic. Red knows of this and supplies them with the meat of horrible people.

-Had very long hair before they became the Queen's assistant, had to cut it for the job. Still misses it terribly :(

-Cussed out their Aunt, Gen, when she accidentally pushed them when they were 6. Like horrible words you'd never expect a traumatized 6 year old to say

Red Ludenhart:

-Wholeheartedly believes Siolis is the devil. No irony.

-Had a rat tail as a teenager, Siolis cut it off in his sleep.

-Hates the queen and tells it to her face whenever they visit Siolis. Leading to him somehow finding where her room is and smearing it in pig shit, don't ask how he managed to get it, he just did.

Lauren McCanister:

-Masochist and Sadist, god forbid if you insult her in bed or look pleased when she insults you, she will come undone before you even touch her

-Once destroyed an experiment her mom slaved over when she was 8 and blamed the dog. They never had a dog

-Once cursed out someone and their mother and their mother dropped dead the next day, thought she had secret magic for an entire year.

Julie McCanister:

-LOVES fooling around in bed, she'd outwardly say she doesn't care but trap her in a room with you? She will pounce.

-Lauren was an accident. Julie genuinely didn't expect for the experiment to be successful, she put in her DNA for shits and giggles.

-Once fucked her rival to make sure they develop feelings for her and drop out of a science competition. She won.

Lorelai Marlowe:

-Obsessed with her phone, genuinely cannot let it go for a second, pictures and records everything.

-Tried to become a social embarrassment in high school so people would leave her alone, did not work.

-Tried making a scientific discovery. Exitted the lab half bald

[rzyraffek]

Hello!

I just wanted to say that I really love your writing, and was hoping to send you a request. If you’re not interested feel free to ignore.

I saw you were open to writing for underrated slashers, so I was wondering if you could write something for Dominic from The dare. I just watched it and I’m so obsessed with him. There’s literally no writing for him, he’s so underrated.

In terms of the writing, I just want something fluffy. Like being childhood friends, getting separated, and then meeting again as adults. I’m being vague just in case you decide to watch the movie. I don’t want to spoil anything. I trust your amazing writing skills. ❤️

Again, feel free to ignore if you’re not interested. Thank you 💕

Thank you!! That's v nice of you😊😊 also thanks for movie recommendation!!! It was great tbh! The killer looked like brahms but gym rat😭😍 im obsessed!!

Sfw, they/them, mensions of trauma but on movie level so nothing new!

Dominic (from The Dare) Headcanons!!

While I was watching the movie I thought "man this is gonna be hard to write" but when I saw that u mention 'childhood friends' prompt and OMG ANON YOU ARE GENIUS

Childhood friend with this guy.. What worse could happen?

Imagine this: s/o and Dominic are bffs and one day Dominic sadly gets bullied but what can s/o do about that really? There's 4bullies and only two of them ://. I can imagine s/o ending up looking for him afterwards, and even lutteraly forcing police department not to close that case

He prolly kidnaped them due to silly goofy mood. Nah but for real he kinda hoped that they still like him?? (He mensions in movie that he wish he had family and kids just like main character did) and also he hopes s/o is as sadistic as him and will revenge bullies with him

S/o has to have huge 'I can fix him' vibe if they somehow stay with him

Also this guy never had a gf or even a kiss soooo yeah he will get flustered if s/o grabs his hand or call him some nick names. If s/o says something along the lines "Love you honey" He will just stand there sweatin bcs he has no clue what to do??? Should he say thank you?? Should he smile??? "Uhh😰😰 you too?"

Hes very pretty but hear me out. Masks stays on

After opening up and making sure s/o doenst skedaddle when left alone for more than second he turns into such simp, like "Domi its cold can you bring me a blanket :(" "yes honey, what color? What texture? I hope you dont mind wool .. i mean if you do i have few other blaknets but not as warm I- i mean i can go make you one?? O-or..." this guy🙄

He gets way to flustered! Things between them needs to go slow or his heart will explode. Lets stay with lil smooches and handholding for now please

do no DO NOT ENTER BASEMENT PLS plsplspls!!! Why?? Ee well😓😓 I kinda still have those people in there... they deserve it! (Sure they do)(but he feeds them so no worry

As i said before, he is a gym rat, his s/o could lay on his back and he still would do push ups(tbh he enjoys that bcs not only he exercise but also spents time with them)

He would love to go to park with them, watch a movie in cinema, talk shit about neibours. Sadly he thinks that due to his eee chilhood trauma he cant do all this stuff :((. Hopefully his s/o will help him change his mind! Help him leave all that stuff in past.

He do be laying on floor drawing with crayons and waving his legs in air (also humming)

His love language is definitely quality time. He loves doing anything with them really! S/o wants to cook something together? Get him an apron! S/o wants to cuddle and watch movies? Say less He will get some blankets and make couch mega comfy! S/o wants to dance or goof around just vibing? He can try that!

About 'play fighing' well that's not the best idea, I mean he likes it?? But it kinda gets into his head?? And he might to something very hurtful and bad acidently

What he loves the most are little things. How s/o knocks on door of his workshop before entering to make sure he knows that they are entering, or how they grab his hand when they are stressed, or how they bring him food when he's too busy/overwhelmed to do so himself, or when they give him space and understanding when he needs that, and when they lisen to him mumble about the horrid stuff he witnessed

He loves kissing them on forehead, hugs from behind, playing with hair, lazy mornings including snuggles

Sorry for long wait, I have a lot of stuff to do latley!! It is 2am I just finished watching move! I really hope those headcanons fit into your Dominic interpretation! Also good news! I think I might include his silly fella in my future headcanons! Cuz hes goofy! Please give more movie recommendations!

Love you all cya in next one

[solardick]

Lovely portent that was. A redwing’s mate guiding me to eye contact. The redwings themselves not being aggressive. Pretty, awkward, blond and slim.

Aside from that on the fallowing day. I give up at life. 40 years is too much. I suspect I’m not survive much longer. I don’t want to be alive anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. All there is is evil in life. I don’t want a part of it. Anymore. It only grows stronger. They wont leave me alone. There’s nothing to do. I hate life. I fucken hate. All it wants is to hurt me. 40’years is too much. Im done.

Go get my bottle of liquer. Throw the noose over door, step off the chair. Thats my future. Unconscious in a few long painful seconds. Dead in a few more.

If i cant develop and grow on my own fucken terms. Im not living at all. Keep my locked up in is mind raping prison. Im done.

Maybe my death will give a pause with hesitation in the next abuse victim they have an aim for.

And the cops are hareaing me with rheir pressence today. Again. Fun fun.

And blocking me out of xbox. On a roll with fucking with me today.

Lets go see if i can buy another fycken dictionairy. Cant even learn a new language without nazi cockskrs perverting with slut faget bs.

I dont care what i say anymore. Im goign to be fucked with either way. Km just an asshole who needs to be reminded how much im someones bitch everyday. Only been 40 straight fucken years. Its the reason im born. Theres no getting away from it. So fuck you amd uou and uou. The world decided yo make me its enemy the day i was born so fuck you too.

Neither am i able to buy an actual russian dictionary. Its only bilingual dictionaries. Which are all lackluster. So much for creating a russian tarot deck. Uh, i dont know why i still try and do stuff. Im not allowed doug. Anythign but doing this. Fuck you and fuck and you.

Should make another card of policemen, and crime mobs, raping men, hold billy clibs and knifes with severed cocks in their hands, laughing with a poor mother trying to protect her son. Replace waites gay death card with it. Half the victims smiling amd the other half crying.

And then people will be like. No, i don’t want to die. I want to live.

Maybe temperance fallowing will make a little more sense. The death card and gold. The italiano is better. Removal of all resources. Temperance becomes a mandatory. Instead of being thrown around from one incompatible place to the next, from one abusive place to the next, one supervised conditioning place after the next manipulative place. Constant cues of inevitability, this will happen. None of this, this may happen. I almost died three times in the last couple years. Then its the devil card. Being all like do it, do it. On the superficial retard level spoken by the lowcuning, who have no temperance themselves. To the narsicists and sadists. A constant line of attack that never ceases and hasn’t ceased in decades. Turning from the up front aggressive, to the back, side, friendly but, none of it is real. Everyones playing an act. No real genuine communication from anyone. The odd couple txts now and a -long -gain. The gain gets highlighted but its pronunciation is wrong. It’s not strong enough to count very high.

All sources of information, perverted. Conditioning, a veil to side track attention. Little prison cell made to fell like nothing is to blame and this is how it is. It’s destiny. У.

So much for ever learning how to act. Nope. You don’t get to. Wish i could act. Then id be a two-faced asshole. The french call them crosseur. Or somethign spelt like that. The french never did make me feel welcome.

And the only places that ever did. Had an agenda. That is currently still in play. Thats what now? 8 years stolen? On that scene alone. The whole homo agenda scheme, all part of the picture leading years in before hand. Best decision i ever made. Fuck you.

What’s next gonna hit me even harder? Im just a punching bag. Always was. My narcissist father thinks that kid of thing is funny. Used to talk about it all the time. How much he loved his punching bag.

Keeping an open dialogue to this. Intentionally. Aggravating, frustrating, shaming, while pleading temperance?

Fuck this prison cell. Get me out. Maybe id have somethign positive to say. Maybe they’d be no righteous belligerence in the face of outsode forces m that have not once stoped ever. For any amount of time on that entire line. Maybe my attention would phase out to soemthign else. Maybe id have a healthier mentality. Maybe id have aome someblamce of a life of my own creation. But no. Not allowed. Just this. This is where i belong. Being beaten on from above. Whoch isn t hard considering im in the gutter.

I choose to fuck death. Go back to where i came from, hell. Im not human. Never was.

The next card is the father given his son a gun. And the mother is sucking him off while he does it.

Go “Temperate” son.

Maybe, i wouldn’t be so kind to people. Helpful and generous. Even to the very people fucken with me. Like i’m not aware. I don’t have the strength left for that last one anymore.

No positivity is better than fake positivity or, hopeful positivity.

Looking at america from an outside perspective. Uou got the states alpha prick. And you got canada right besides him. His little bitch. Who can’t raise its voice and has to live by their alpha fag. And fallow his news. More than their own. And then you got mexico on the other side, his personal drug dealer that he keeps his guard up around. The Us the ultimate wife beater.

The oilers losed?! What?! No shit. It happened. Course they were going to lose. Their canadian in their own field. And they’re named after petroleum. Not going to give hype to pollution and carbon gases. Like the games are ‘t fixed to begin with. And with that all the fans and the beer drinking men lost some pride, again. Oh, no, the masculine spreading and hoping for toxic waste. You lose.

Where’s my boyfriend(s), i want to defy nature, and get fucked tonight. And then feel disgusted with myself and a shamed, so i desire more. Afterwards.

Tarot… whats the point of temperance. You meet the devil and you lose anyway. Fuck inhate tarot.

Shame on you for wanting the oilers to win. Go get shame fucked. Even though its just a name and has nothing to do with sport. But that diesnt matter to the magical world of rainbow land. Shining your true colours after being stormed through and through.

Think i need another covid injection.

Cheers to suffering for the rest of my life with no one. Just me and enemies. Cause i won’t do it. I don’t want to be alive anymore. 25 straight years of being beaten in and manipulated. Vicious circle. I was born in hell.

Wonder what being human feels like. ´ast thing i want is a life based on sex. Thats all the world is. Sex and abuse. Im done.

I’m done. Im not talking to or being friendly with anyone anymore. I tried. Tried for 30 years with my family. But that was a waste of life. All

Life does is try and rule over me and cause me harm. Àways did. Always will. Im

Done. I dotn want to be alive anymore.

Ok, its back to being a concrete game plan. Again. With this added pressure. It may just pull through.

[hunter-slime-660]

Based on the v5 camarilla book, yeah sure, but I personally don't agree with some points.

First of all if you plan to date a ventrue, should expect to be used for some special skill. If you have no skill they might only just keep you for your pretty face. Also they're usually pretty boring in bed, but they believe themselves as kinky (no they're not)

Toreador i pretty much agree with everything. They're flaky and will easily get bored of you. They will need constant change from you or they will leave you behind, but change too much too quick and you won't be their taste anymore.

Nothing to say about tremere that is very accurate imo.

Malkavian is where I disagree a bit. I believe they are even flakier then toreadors and some may not even know they're playing with you, but im not sure they're so easily manipulated. Mostly because with age they can recognize their weakness and weaponize it. Sure the younger ones are easy to sway one way or another, but a lot of them are master manipulators. I wouldn't put it past them to get in the relationship only to see how far they can push your sanity. But they can also be great lovers and when they love they love HARD.

Nosferatu I believe what you just said is what they want you to think. I think with them it's more probable that THEY are taking advantage of you while acting all swayed by your pretty face. Most likely they want the social interactions that come with dating a member of a prettier clan.

Gangrel you should date if you're a fan of more animalistic tendencies in the bed. Will be loyal and posessive and WILL growl. Tho you can also train them if you say wish.

Brujah the most feasible lovers. Fun and passionate. They will take you urbexing if you ask nicely.

Banu Haquim I can't really say, haven't dated them, especially considering how they tend to stick to the east. But it seems about right.

Tzimisce WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE dont fall for the pretty lies. They are posessive. They're fun in bed, but that is ABSOLUTELY NOT WORTH IT.

Now a couple new ones cuz yeah.

Salubri you will probably never date one, but if you do, don't expect much. They have so many trust issues you will ask yourself why you're even bothering. But them again, who else can say they got laid with a unicorn?

Setites/Ministry honestly great for a one night stand, not so great for a real relationship. EXTRAORDINARY in bed, very kinky, can get funky with their snake form too! Will most likely make you try some weird drugs, but their booze is excellent for a blacked out night

Lasombra the best for bdsm enjoyers. Very sadistic, powerful and rich. Maybe not the best for people with religious trauma, but oh well. I don't think i need to explain the shadow tentacles do i?

VtM Clans Dating Headcanons

Because i’m full in Vampire: The Masquerade, i’m doing these headcanons based on the source book Camarilla V5, where a Toreador gives you tips on getting into romance with the stereotype of some clans. Feel free to add other headcanons or clans if you like!

*English is not my mother tongue so sorry for any mistakes or weird phrasing.

VENTRUE

Very good companions if you’re a young kindred and starting a career in the Camarilla.

They’re powerful, reliable and rich, expect a lot of gifts.

You can’t be boring if you want to get a Ventrue, be flightly, passionate, temperamental, make them feel anything to keep them interested.

Most likely to use you as a trophy or showcase partner tho.

If they get bore, you’ll just be another of their servants.

TOREADOR

Most likely to be your sire, embraced you out of a infatuation.

And… most likely to get bore of you in the end if you dont keep up.

Surely they’ll be beautiful and charismatic.

You’ll be their muse

Expect art dates and getting a good amount of juicy info about othe kindred.

Will ask for attention in subtly ways.

TREMERE

Boring at first glance, will act as if they dont care and then will surprise you with particular moments of attention.

Gets freaky in bed, experiments a lot on that field.

Remembers everything about you.

Worth the romance to get a glance at their libraries of vitae.

MALKAVIAN

Most likely to break your heart.

Easy to manipulate if you know their weakness.

They say you loose your mind if you drink their vitae, is it true? no matter it’s kinda exciting anyway.

Will be more open to experimentation in bed too.

Unpredictible, will say or do some crazy shit if you put them under pressure.

Expect some profecies out of the blue.

NOSFERATU

Honest and grateful for your love and attention.

Looks at you in awe.

Insecure and most likely to be jealous.

You’ll get your hands on some juicy information.

The most romantic clan second to Toreador.

Easy to manipulate if you’ve got a pretty face or you’re a good actor.

GANGREL

Cold at first but if you get to their hearts, they’ll cherish you a lot.

Jealous and possesive, will fight anyone that disrespects you.

Dates on tiny cabins in the woods, maybe naughty activities in the wild.

BRUJAH

They like to be direct and honest, they’ll confess to you and wont beat around the bush.

Most likely to talk your ear off.

Passionate and emotional, will be the most human like relationship out of the other clans.

BANU HAQIM

Passionate and obssesive, they will try to court you desperatly so you should act hard to get for fun.

Very serious about your relationship, commitment is very important to them.

Will kill for you, mostly out of jelousy.

Makes you feel desired, wanted. You’re always present in their mind.

TZIMICE

You’re in for some serious crazy shit

Most likely to resculpt you and make you some dragonborn appearance kinda shit.

Expect some weird things behind those pants too.

Top energy

They have a strange personality, very attention seeker but will cherish you regardless.

If you behave, maybe they’ll teach you vicissitude so you can scuplt some vessels together.

[darkthingshappen]

Brother's Keeper

Chapter 9: (Part 1) Anticipation

(For the poll, posting in two parts won, so this is part one of 2 for chapter 8. I'll post part two sometime tomorrow. Enjoy)

Tagging List: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump (I hope I'm not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I'll fix it. I'm still getting used to this) 

Masterlist

*!*!*!*!* 

Ben’s heart was pounding in his chest. He watched Volkov talking with the others in the low growling Russian he was becoming familiar with, yet still didn’t understand.  He’d just had breakfast and was still on his knees, trembling.  He was so damn scared, and in so much pain.  He could still feel the sting from the needles he’d had to endure two days in a row.  His fingernails still throbbed.  

His teeth chattered while they made him wait, and his muscles spasmed with cold fear.  Volkov had tortured him every day, and Ben had passed out from pain each time.  The sadistic man timed how long he lasted.  Ben was horrified to realize that Volkov was learning his limits so that he could drag out the pain longer. 

The second day with the needles had been far worse because he’d taken it slower, letting Ben have time to breathe and adjust to the new levels of agony.  The session time had nearly doubled, with Ben forced to lay there and listen while Volkov talked Dmitri through how to torture the boy ‘properly.’ 

The low conversation broke up, and the group of abusers returned to stand around Ben.  He kept his eyes on the ground, hoping to hide even  a fraction of his terror.  Dmitri stood behind him and grabbed his hair, forcing him to look up at Volkov.  

The big Russian had a playful gleam in his eye, and Ben knew enough to hate it now.  

“My boys and I were just discussing your options for today.  Dmitri wants to see how you handle an electric baton, but I don’t know if you’re ready for that.  He did point out that you respond well to your collar.”

Ben’s mouth went dry.  “A-a-and my o-other option-options?”

“A caning.  Or maybe knives.  Once you’re mine, I plan on giving you some lovely tattoos and maybe a brand or two.” Volkov ran a possessive hand across Ben’s shoulders.  “People I sell all bear my mark, and you will too, lovely little scholar.”  Volkov sighed wistfully.  “But, to be fair to your brother, I have to give him his time, barring that he doesn’t do anything stupid like rat me out.  It really is too bad.  I hate waiting, but we shall have to.”  He patted Ben’s cheek.  

“I-if… If I pick the cane… will you leave my feet a-alone?”  Ben’s feet were just starting to become less tender.  They still hurt, but no longer throbbed through the night.  

Volkov pursed his lips.  “I might agree to that.  But I want you chained by your wrists.  We’ll let you stand, but you can always pull yourself up if you need to get off your feet for a few moments.  I know they still hurt, but you should be able to put a bit of weight on them now.”

Ben did not agree.  The burns were scabbed over, but still could not take his weight.  Still, maybe he could stand on his toes.  He thought about the shock collar locked around his neck and how agonizing it was when Volkov used it.  

“I don’t… I don’t want to be sh-shocked,” he said out loud, weighing his options.  

Volkov pulled out a knife and let the light reflect off the blade.  “And this option?”

Ben shook his head frantically.  

“So, a caning then?”

“Y-yes.” A full body shudder ran through Ben as he answered.  Volkov grinned maliciously.  

“Excellent choice, Malyshka.”  Volkov’s wicked smile widened.  “I’ll save the baton for the next time you step out of line.”

That did not sound at all promising.  

Volkov brushed Ben’s floppy brown hair out of his face.  “You’ll probably need another shower later today.  Do well with the caning and maybe I’ll let you have some warm water.  Hmm?  Does that sound good?”  

Ben wanted to scream in fury.  Basic human needs weren’t supposed to be a bargaining chip.  But when he swallowed and felt the collar bob against his Adam’s Apple, he shoved his anger back down.  

“I asked you a question, Little Benjamin,” Volkov threatened.  

“Yes, sir.  Warm water sounds good,” Ben replied, unable to keep the sarcastic edge out of his voice.    

Volkov slapped him hard, and Ben cried out when he landed again on his sore shoulder.  

“Watch your tone with me, boy.  Or we’ll be using that baton sooner than you like!”  

Ben grit his teeth, his eyes narrowing angrily as he looked up at Volkov.  I hate you! He wanted to scream.  His powerlessness was suffocating him.  He sucked in air through his nose as his fury raged beneath the surface.  

Volkov’s hand moved to the pocket where he kept the remote to Ben’s collar.  Ben dropped his head back on to the floor.  Fuck it and fuck Volkov.  If Volkov was going to shock him, then he was going to shock him.  It wasn’t like anything Ben did made a difference.  

“Are you done, Malyshka?” Volkov asked.

Stop calling me that! Ben’s internal rebellion was growing louder, but he knew that would only lead to more pain.  

“Yes, sir.” Ben said evenly, just barely managing to calm his tone.  

“Good. String him up.  I want to see him squirm.”

Ben was pulled up, dragged over to the drain, and deposited on his knees.  There was no bar above him this time, only a hook. 

Dmitri grabbed the short length of chain between Ben’s wrists, which were still behind his back, and started to pull up.  Ben cried out as his shoulders were strained, and his head involuntarily dropped toward the ground.  

“No!  No!  Stop!  Stop stopstopstop!  You’re gonna break my arms!” he screamed as Dmitri kept slowly pulling his arms up behind him.  

“And?” Dmitri quipped nonchalantly.  

“No!  Please!  Stop!” Ben looked over to Volkov.  “Y-you… You said I could pull myself up to get off my feet.  Please!”

“Hold.”  

The steady upward motion stopped at Volkov’s command.  Ben panted and ground his teeth together, waiting for Volkov’s decision.  

“I did, didn't I?  And since I am a man of my word… Dmitri, let his arms down, then rechain them in front.”  Ben gasped with relief as Volkov’s orders were carried out.  “You did look gorgeous just now though.  I think we’ll throw stress positions into the mix for one of your choices soon.  I’d love to see you tremble and sweat as you try to maintain some forced position.”  

God, I fucking hate it here, Ben thought to himself, trying desperately to keep all the shame and frustration of having to submit inside.

His hands shook as the cuffs were undone and refastened in front of him.  Then Ilya and Dmitri yanked him up with brute strength and attached him to the hook above.  Tears sprang into his eyes as his feet brushed the floor.  If he could manage to stay on his tiptoes, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.  

He could already feel the burn in his calves as he made the effort to not stand flat on his sore feet.  He watched Dmitri take the cane off its place on the wall.  Dmitri flexed the thin wooden rod, testing its suppleness.  

Why did they always want to hurt him? Not for the first time, Ben wondered what had he done to deserve this.  The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he really hadn’t done anything.  He didn’t know anything.  He wasn’t being tortured for information.  There was nothing he could do to change this.  He was a pawn in a sadistic game that Volkov was playing.  A game Volkov was winning.  

Volkov sat in his familiar seat, a pleasant smile on his face, drink in his hand.  He nodded to Ilya, and Ben only had a moment to anticipate what was coming before his shirt and bottoms were torn from him, the velcro easily giving way with the slightest exertion.  

The cool air of the room snaked around him, and goose bumps spread across his nearly naked form.  His boxer briefs seemed a highly inadequate cover for the chill and offered no protection from the blows to come.  

The door opened and they all glanced at the newcomer.  Nikolai came in with a new tripod and a different camera.  

“Sorry I’m late, Pahkan.  I just got this new camera in, and I thought we could use it today.”

Damnit!  Ben hated it when they recorded his torment.  

“Good, Nikolai.  Is this the one that you mentioned with the automatic cloud upload feature?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Excellent.  I’m looking forward to that.  Should make the auctions go much smoother.”

“Exactly. And it can do the live feeds too,” Nikolai added with enthusiasm.  

“Perfect.” Volkov’s expression was one of deep satisfaction.  

God!  How much fucking longer are they going to make me wait? Ben’s calves were killing him.  When he glanced over to Volkov, the man was smirking at him, and Ben got the distinct impression that Volkov knew exactly what he was doing.  

Ben wrapped his hands around the chains and pulled himself up slightly.  He could only do it for a minute or so, but he was able to give his calves some relief.  Still, this was going to get exhausting.  

It took Nikolai a few minutes to get the camera set up and in the best location.  Dmitri was growing almost as impatient as Ben.

“Okay.  All ready to go,” Nikolai assured them.

“Excellent.  Benjamin, are you sure you don’t want something to bite down on?” Volkov asked.

“I-I’m s-sure.” The tremors of fear and anticipation were coursing through him anew now.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dmitri smile broadly at Volkov’s nod of approval to start.  

“Dmitri, don’t forget what we’ve learned over the last couple of days.  Give the boy room to breathe.  He’s new here,” Volkov reminded him.  

Fucking damnit, just shut the hell up! Ben thought. 

[enhais]

Hey your theme looks so cuteee!! also i was just wondering of how do you see yandere enhypen taking care of their s/o because they have fever? like, r they actually going to take care of them especially jay and riki since reading almost all of your works, i think these two are the most coldest or tsundere type yandere(?) Hope this isnt a bother!! U dont need to answer this ask if ur not feeling it pls tale your time thank youu <333

ahh thank you for liking it!! i’ll answer this because it seems easier than a reaction or imagine <3

i think jungwon and jay would acknowledge how you act and then ask you how you’re feeling, because there’s not a chance in the world you’ll tell them yourself. once they figure out that you’re sick and have a fever they’ll treat you better, trying not to be angry with you and taking some weight off your shoulders. but don’t expect that they’ll act like this when you’re feeling better!

sunghoon and niki are the ones i consider to be the “sadists” of the group. i don’t know why, i just get a feeling hhh. they like to hurt you because they want you to know that you belong to only them, they like to see how you react. however, they definitely do have soft spots for their s/o and when you’re sick they’ll do their best to treat you well. they’ll give you medicine and let you watch tv, maybe give your parents a call… they can’t let their s/o think that they’re monsters all the time </3

sunoo <3 our lovey dovey boyfie!! he treats you so well that you’ll never want to leave. what a great plan. he orders your favourite food, reads your favourite books for you when you’re tired, and so on and so forth. you wouldn’t ever understand how people thought he was a bad guy when he treated you like this. he would also be the kind of person to never leave you alone, always asking you if you needed something <3 expect a lot of kisses as well.

jake and heeseung — my personal favs! they’re the perfect combination of protective, manipulative, and caring. similarly to sunoo, they would do everything to make you feel better. however, they would want you to think that it was something worse than a fever so that you could rely on them and only them for the rest of your life. as you should.

[thecrazylady10]

YANDERE DEVILMAN HC

WARNING: contains nsfw as in sexuaal contents. This is an Xreader

Akira~

Overprotective boyfriend is overprotective. Seriously akira will just growl at anyone trying to make a move on you and glare menacingly. His presence alone makes it difficult for anyone to approach you, so if you're introverted thats great! (Sort of.) If you're extroverted thats probably gonna be a problem.

Is like a giant puppy that demands attention 24/7 and will howl so sadly when you dont. It can be either really cute and endearing or pathetic depending on how you are. Akira also loves to cuddle, and may occasionally smell you and nuzzle you, like a dog/cat. No matter how you feel you cant help but find him adorable.

Impulsive jackass, anyone flirting with you, you can forget even thinking about holding him back with how strong he is. If you don't want bloodshed you'll have to physically get in between akira and the poor soul who didn't know you had such a scary bf already. You'll have to beg akira not to just kill or maim them behind your back, depending on his mood he might show some sort of mercy. Or not.

Rough rough ROUGH sex, even though akira tries hard to go slowly/gently, his demonic sex drive overrides any attempt to hinder the instinct to ravage. So expect intense harsh sex, and very sweet after care. Akira is nice enough to make sure nothing is broken or you don't need to go to like, a fricken hospital because of devilman dick.

If you try to run away akira will act like its a game. Hunting you down, maybe scaring you a little to drive in the fact that you're not leaving him. You'll always feel like helpless prey against him, but even if akira might tease about eating you, he wouldn't hurt you (severely) on purpose.

Akira is never letting you go, he'll literally go to hell to make sure you're his. He'll probably drag you to hell too. So once you're his, not even the apocalypse will separate you. Well, he likes to think so at least. Hope so at least...

Ryo~

You got yourself a sugar daddy, basically. Anything you ever need or want you got it, at a price of course. Although ryo is a reasonable man, at first at least.

Ryo is good at hiding his feelings, a little too well. You probably wouldn't even know he liked you until he told you, and he's tactful about it so you'll probably accept his love confession without any problems.

Although he's not impulsive like akira, people will think twice about approaching you. Ryo has an intimidating aura himself, and he's a human (well now at least). But if ryo especially doesn't like someone he might just flash a threat (gun). He wont shoot (to kill) unless the other gets any stupid ideas, and ryo is good at not going to jail for it.

You wouldn't expect ryo to be so cuddly of a guy but he just loves to gently embrace you while talking about deep profound things or basking in loving silence. Moments like this you could easily forget the red flags.

Ryo is utterly sadistic in bed. Well, at first he "tests the waters" knowing what spots he should touch and not touch to entice certain sounds from you. But it's all a slow boil, so you don't know that ryo is getting harder, harsher, kinkier. He'll make you enjoy things you probably didn't like or even thought of. Intense deep pleasures even the most raunchy and lustful demons would blush at, and ryo gives it all to you. Of course, this means you'll have to at least give something back in return. Even if it's screaming his name like a prayer.

Ryo will never let you go, even if he gives you space. No matter where you go, he'll find you so easily. Try to run away and he'll scold you like a pet, keep it up and he'll actually treat you like one. On a leash, or in a cage if you're that rowdy.

When the apocalypse comes and ryo remembers who he really is, he'll handpick a compatible demon to merge with you. And make sure you become a devilman, so that you may survive in this new world with him forever.

[violettelueur]

RYŌMEN SUKUNA || LITTLE CAGED ARTIST

| featuring : ryomen sukuna ft. itadori yuji 

| warnings : mention of emotional abuse and murder as well as grammar errors

| form : imagine

| word count : 1691

| published : 22 december

| request : Hello, idk if your request are open but feel free to ignore, but just, imagine another reencarnation au (those imaginw of yours are my favourite) where the reader was a painter and Sukuna's personal favourite so he took her and kinda abused her psycologicaly to the point where she would just draw him and only him and he loved that, and in the future she's still an artist that draws Yuuji bc theyre friends but when she sees the tatoos she again draws Sukuna and he feels guilty for the way he treated her and her art in the pastIf It's angst i would apreciate but it's not really necesary

| barista’s notes : hi there~ i apologies for the extremely long wait for your coffee order but now it is there ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ right now it is nearly 5am in the morning and i have no idea why the hell i am awake, but oh well ʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ  DONT WORRY THOUGH! after this, i am going to sleep and rest up since today it is Fushiguro Megumi’s and Kageyama Tobio’s birthday today ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ but other than that, i hope you enjoy your order of a cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and i hope you come back soon! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

“Sukuna….please leave me alone...leave the village alone, I beg of you please,” you whimpered to the man that was standing tall and proud with a sadistic smirk painted on his face, while you were on your knees tightly holding onto his large wrist - somewhat slightly covering the black ring marking - as if your weak physical strength could do anything to stop his raising them up and giving a rain upon hell to the people that was residing in the small town you lived in.

You have no idea how you had managed to catch the attention of the most feared curse to both humans and jujutsu sorcerers nor did you know how you managed to become acquainted with the man in front of you. All you knew right now was that the situation you were in at this current moment and time, was not ideal to anyone at all.

You were just a simple artist. A simple village girl artist that was blessed to be hired by the nobility and aristocracy to paint their family portraits with the finest colours that they would offer you, for you to be then paid so you could provide for your village. However, as luxurious as it sounded, you were in love with the idea of just placing a sharped piece of charcoal on a piece of paper or cloth you could find anywhere and sketch your heart designed.

“Leave you alone?” Sukuna questioned you in his deep voice, before slowly crouching down to become face to face with you. “I could never leave you alone, not when you have caught my attention with your craft little one,” Sukuna then stated, as he gently placed a hand on your cheek before using his thumb to caress the soft skin he was touching. 

Ever since Sukuna had caught sight of you delicately painting a portrait of a noblewoman with such care and gentleness, he couldn’t help but wonder how your hands were so carefully and how patient you were to make sure every stroke was perfect to your desire. Slowly, he began to wonder what it was like to be the subject of one's view. A subject that someone desired to recreate on a simple piece of paper. However, compared to his past sightings, you were the most talented as well as the most beautiful he had ever seen and once he was able to gain a clear view of the noble woman that you were illustration, he was surprised at how much detail you were able to encapture in your work and just like the noble woman’s reaction, they both were extremely happy with the result of the final product.

“How about this?” Sukuna suddenly asked, causing your head to suddenly shot up leading you to meet eye to eye with the King of Curses, “if you come with me and draw me and me only for the rest of time, I would leave this little village alone as well as the people residing in it. How does that sound, little one?”

‘Come with him? Where? Why? What’s going to happen to me?’

“If you don’t accept this deal, every single person here will die. Burned, stabbed, slashed, any way possible I can. Men, women and even little children’s lives will be gone, and it would be all your fault.”

‘My….fault? But-’

“You know I’m not a patient person little one, I might as well start my massacre while you take your time to think, it will be-”

“NO PLEASE! DON’T, YOU CAN TAKE ME, JUST LEAVE THE VILLAGE ALONE, PLEASE!” you screamed in desperation, as you tighten the grip of his wrist that was within your grasp to keep him down, as you didn’t want to risk him getting away from your sights for the safety and protection of the people  within the little town you had lived in since the day your life had started.

With a large cruel grin, Sukuna had somehow managed to pry his wrists free from your tense grip before sliding an arm under your knees as well as an arm around your body lifting you up in a bridal position, while you were just expressing a face of shock and fear, confused and fearful on what you had just accepted in exchange for your life. Where were you going? Was this the end? Were you going to die? How much longer have you had left?

“Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, you’re too precious to be slaughtered little one,” Sukuna answered - as if he knew what you were thinking - before placing a ghostly kiss upon your temple leading you to freeze still, petrified on what he would do with you had moved a single inch.

This was your life now. 

A caged artist.

                                               ꕥ

Here you were, sitting on a wooden platform outside with a sharpened piece of charcoal that Sukuna had kindly given you, in order for you to sketch a portrait of him. The second you placed the charcoal upon the paper, Sukuna couldn’t help but stare at the light movements of your hand as you lightly stroke a few lines to create an outline before watching your hand suddenly pause, causing the King of Curses to switch his view from the sheet to you, only to find your look at him with such a frightened look.

“I’m sorry…..I shouldn’t look at you, should I? I apologise deeply,” you softly muttered before quickly turning back to the portrait that was right in front of you - you didn’t want to do anything wrong in his eyes, you knew he could go back on his words and harm the people that you cared about. However, it seemed like Sukuna didn’t care at all, he had managed to trap you into his life and had the power to demand you to draw him every time he would mention he could go back to your little village and burn it to the ground. He relished in the idea of being the subject of your attention.

This is what he wanted. 

His little caged artist.

                                               ꕥ

1000 years later and here you were. 

Here you were sketching a picture of your best-friend Itadori with a picture of him that you had managed to capture on your phone. Itadori first came into your life shortly after you had enrolled into Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Techincal College around the same time as your other classmate Kugisaki did. 

You have no idea what drew you into the boy with the pink hair, but something within you pulled you towards him causing the blooming and somewhat hilarious friendship to start, even causing Fushiguro and Kugisaki to wonder what was going on in your mind to somehow relate to the boy - yet, they didn’t mention their questions since they didn’t really think you knew the answer yourself, and they were correct.

However, as you continued to smoothly glide your pencil across the page, applying different pressures to construct some definitions as well as shadows within the photo you were copying from, you began to suddenly realise that you were starting to draw marking upon his portrait. Markings that were so familiar to the ones the person within him had.

Ever since that day at the Eishu Detention Centre, the sight of Sukuna standing in front of you with his shirt ripped off showcasing his black marking caused a trigger of unknown memories to suddenly flood into your mind, causing excruciating pain that was so unbearable, you thought you were going to pass out from the intense pressure, maybe as even close to dying from the immense pain.

From what you could even recall from the sudden flood of blurry images that appeared in your mind, there was a picture of you drawing with a piece of charcoal with the infamous King of Curses seating right beside you, watching you draw will whispering in your ear the threats that he would bombard you in order for you to make sure that you were only drawing him and him only.

Slowly but in a shaking manner, your drawing hand continued to sketch in Sukuna’s markings that would appear on Itadori’s body as you were somewhat extremely afraid of what the King of Curses could do to you if you didn’t - just how you left 1000 years ago.

Although unknown to you, your best-friend Itadori was standing right behind you, having a clear view of what was happening to you as well as the drawing right in front of him. Seeing your shaking figure with slow but clear teardrops landing on the sketch book as well as the drawing evolving from him to the curse residing inside of him, made him realise how damaging Sukuna was to not only him but also to the people around him. Carefully, Itadori placed a hand over your hand that held the pencil, causing you to flinch before finally noticing that it was your friend that was holding it and not the special grade curse.

Within his Innate Domain, Sukuna also had a clear view on what was happening to you and slowly but strangely began to feel something drop to his stomach with the feeling of his throat closing up at the sight of you slowly breaking down into a small state of insanity. This isn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want his beautiful little one to become lifeless and paranoid like you were now.

Even after 1000 years after your death, your incarnation was carrying the feeling of fear, despair and numbness that you were weighed upon the second you had given your life away to the King of Curses for the sake of your village. Even though you had more freedom then you did then, you still left trapped and lost within the metal cage that Sukuna had enclosed you in. Even with the small hint of guilt that was manifested within the cruel curse’s heart. 

You were trapped with no escape out.

You were trapped forever with no key to open the door that was clearly right in front of you.

Forever his little caged artist.

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

[wickedpact]

[waggles finger angrily in direction of computer screen] KEANE!

ok so i Started saying this in that other post but the Thing About keane is that he doesnt come off as being That Bad through the most of the movie. obviously hes not a good person; the fact that he works for merrick and that hes ex special forces alone is sus as fuck (like buddy, why arent you still in special forces?)

but in comparison to dr kozak (sadist) and merrick (also a sadist) keane doesnt seem that bad. he spends most of the movie standing around in douchebag suits and being intimidating. there are only like five scenes where we see him touch other people, ‘cause all he really does is order his goons around, and Usually when we Do see him touch people, he’s more or less Your Usual Brand of Asshole about it

long post under cut :/

like. 1.) grabbing joe after he headbutts merrick

2.) knocking out andy and booker with the sedative

3.) knocking out copley

4.) the joenicky fight scene

5.) the joe fight scene afterwards but that doesnt really count bc he never got a punch in (lol)

and in all of those, excluding the the joenicky fight scene (and the joe fight scene which i just said doesnt count) keane’s.... eh? hes not nice but he could be way meaner.

The Joe Grab: obviously not Good Boy behavior, obviously aggressive, but he doesnt hurt joe here. hes not even cutting off joe’s air, he’s just grabbing him.

i mean. in reaction to the headbutt, keane threatens joe without harming him, the goon behind joe pistol whips him, and merrick stabs him. of the three reactions we get, keane’s is the most mild. look, his finger isnt even on the trigger

andy & book; again not good boy behavior, but again he could have been way worse. when he sedates andy she struggles like fuck, and you can even see keane kind of stumble as he tries to hold her down. even so, he doesnt hit her to get her to stop, a thing his goons do fairly regularly to the others, and even when he grips her neck to hold her still, he’s holding her jaw more than her neck (look at his thumb). in the aftermath, she doesnt even have any marks. (this coming from the movie that gave merrick a red spot on his forehead for like a whole minute after joe headbutted him. lmao suck it merrick)

and when he goes for book, more of the same. he just kind of... holds him in place, despite his struggling. its professional . hes just a dude doing his job. Keane The Professional.

when he knocks out copley right after thats the only other time we see him personally harm someone, and even then that was with a specific order from merrick (you see him give keane A Look) and theres nothing sadistic there either. he hit copley, copley was out(TM), the end.

None Of This Gives Any Indication Of Keane Enjoying Causing Pain

AMND THEN: THE JOENICKY FIGHT

and Many People have discussed this fight so i wont go off too hard but. this fight. it lasts roughly thirty seconds. Thirty. and of those thirty seconds, keane spends about... eh, seventeen focused on nicky? (the kicking, the gun, etc) on joe? he spends about three. as in seconds. the other ten seconds is mostly keane getting beat on or standing ominously above the two of them.

and of the few analyses ive seen, people point out keane being homophobic as his motivation here (and he definitely is) but homophobia alone doesnt explain why keane WENT OFF on nicky specifically.

because like! the beginning of this fight! keane sends all of his goons after nile booker and andy! SIX men to fight THREE immortals, leaving KEANE ALONE to fight the other two! and then he walks into the room joe and nicky are in, sees them both lying there,

ADN HE PUTS AWAY HIS GUN

like! he already won the fight right then and there! nicky and joe were on the floor! a bullet to the head to both of them to keep them down and keane would have had them both, but no, keane puts his gun away, grabs his zipties,

AMDN then he goes straight for fucnening nicky

it would make Sense if hed gone for joe. he and joe have established beef. the headbutt. the speech in the van (which im sure keane heard at some point since those guards had bodycams and im sure keane wanted to know how he and nicky managed to kill his men and looked at the footage) --and theres the killing of the men itself, but both joe and nicky did that together. so.

either way, joe has been challenging the authority of keane and his men since he had the breath to do so. nicky’s barely glanced in keane’s direction (beyond the killing the men thing, which weve established both he and joe did)

other than that, worst thing nicky’s done to keane is nearly bump into him while he was busy making Disappointed Eye Contact with copley

but anyways: keane doesnt go for joe! he walks past joe’s body and goes for nicky, who’s just barely begun to move. it would also make sense, at this point, to put a bullet in nicky’s head here. like i said, keane’s already won. Keane The Professional wouldve already killed him.

instead, keane kicks nicky in the head, stands there and watches nicky get up, then kicks him a second time, and watches him again. he goes to do it a third time before nicky gets the drop on him.

at no point prior to this in the movie do we see keane behave like this. he doesnt cause pain for the sake of causing it. he doesnt hurt people pointlessly. here, he does. theres no reason to be kicking nicky like this. its not accomplishing anything, it’s not helping him capture them. hes just doing it ‘cause he wants to. (not to mention, each time you see him go to kick nicky, he goes to kick harder)

and actually, doing this is actively stupid! joe is waking up a foot away. there are three other immortals on the loose. merrick is unaccounted for. and keane is just wasting time. by dicking around rn, he’s actively shooting himself in the foot.

but anyways, nicky punches keane, keane kicks him off, and then joe’s awake, and This is the detail i just noticed a little earlier-- but when keane gets up here and joe grabs him: his head is turned towards nicky. his eyes are turned towards nicky. he’s moving towards nicky, not joe, who is the active threat in the moment

he doesnt even acknowledge joe until joe’s hand is physically on his head. joe had to physically Hold the dude back from going after nicky again

and then we see keane’s behavior change again when he sets his sights on joe. Keane The Professional is back again- two rapid-fire punches aimed at joe, no nonsense, no drawing it out, and then he goes for his gun

he doesnt draw it out. he doesnt sit and watch joe suffer. that gif is in real time, thats how fast keane took joe out. two punches, shoulder, neck, and then an immediate escalation to lethal force.

like the difference between: keane putting his gun away and then keeping it away for fifteenish seconds while focusing on nicky

vs

when focusing on joe, it takes him.. about two seconds & some change to pull the gun out again

keane wanted joe dead, but he wanted nicky to fucking suffer

and the you know, theres the obvious gun in mouth thing, which other people have talked about. the only thing i have to say about That is that its another fucking example of keane shooting himself in the foot. hes in a room filled with gas w/ no gas mask, and theres a very pissed off joe like two feet away from him recovering by the second. however, he doesnt do the Keane The Professional thing and put a bullet in nicky’s forehead-- he deliberately leans down, grabs nicky’s hair (and its not like he needed to, nicky sure as hell wasnt going anywhere anyway, unable to breathe and probably still sitting on a concussion after being kicked in the head) and jams the gun in nickys mouth. he’s wasting time doing that. it would have been faster and easier to just shoot nicky in the head. (like he probably was about to do to joe, considering how he doesnt step any closer to joe as he pulls out the gun)

and then he just??? bounces??

he is, again, in a position where he’d practically won. he had nicky dead. joe was on the ground. he could have gone for his mask, or shot joe and then fucked off to get a breath of Good Air. gun is still in his hand. he doesnt even try to take out joe, not even just shooting over his shoulder as he left. he doesnt give a shit about joe once nicky’s dead.

nicky was dead, so keane just left. and he double takes at the body as he goes??

like at first i thought he was confused nicky wasnt getting up, but he knows how the immortals work, he saw joe and nicky die on the body cams at the church. like sir why are fucking looking? fuck off?

but yeah theres just no explanation for this! nicky has done practically nothing to keane, but keane just zeroed tf in on nicky with no provocation! it couldnt have been just homophobia, if it were he would have targeted joe the same way he did nicky. he had to have some other motivation for acting completely differently @ nicky than he does to any other character in the film, and then just. going back to normal once nicky was dead. its weird. its creepy. and theres like 0 explanation. dont like it

[strawberryspeachy]

S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn