#not a day goes by where I don't cry for them
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Bug Like Angel
pt3
What's wrong with me?
After a while you rush downstairs, excited to tell everyone all about your trip and how fun it was.
You're excited to tell them all about how smart you are and how Liz Allan is considering you for an internship!
You're excited to tell them about how you and your friends didn't get in trouble and how most of the class was uninterested other than you!
You're excited to tell them about how you're so thankful for this trip!
You're excited to tell them how you even learned about Ozcorp!
You're so excited to tell everyone about how you were asking so many questions and how you even got to meet Liz Allan at all!
You find Tim on the couch watching TV while also on his phone.You ran up to him and sat next to him on the couch.
"Hey Tim!" you started rambling about your trip and your friends, not noticing him giving you a stink eye. You weren't the most observant person.
In the middle of you talking about how your friend tripped while you guys were learning about their projects, he got up and left.
"Hey, where are you going?" you asked while tilting your head.
"I need to do something, homework came up," he said, not even looking at you.
You knew he was lying.
Well, you tried...
Next up, you tried to tell Dick.
He was in Bludhaven, so you could only text him.
You've probably texted him over a million times, and he's probably only replied, like, twice.
You wish you could say "That's just how he was with everyone!" but you know it's not true. You can't lie to yourself like that.
You've seen how he treats everyone else.
How he treats Damian the way you wish you were treated by him at his age.
How he goes out to hang out with Tim.
How he checks up on Jason.
None of which has ever been done with you.
He never replied to your text, he has always had your notifications silenced anyway.
You tried telling Bruce, but he was busy trying to figure out a case. He didn't mean to ignore you! he was just..busy..like always.
There isn't much to say, other than how you're not sure this is how fathers are supposed to treat their kids.
When you were younger, you saw how your friends dads treated their kids like they were the light of their life.
And the truth was that they probably were, unlike you.
You tried telling Alfred, and he did listen! ..but he had to go help Bruce and Tim so he had to leave mid-conversation.
Duty calls.
You tried talking to Damian, but all he did was tell you you were "pathetic for being excited over something so trivial". Before sharpening his katana in an intimidating way.
You backed off.
Last but not least, you tried telling Jason.
You got excited and started jumping in place while talking about it only for him to shoo you away and yell at you for interrupting him while he was reading.
You froze and teared up when you got yelled at, you tried hiding it but even he noticed.
You stayed in your room the rest of the day.
You tried playing your guitar to calm you down only for you to break a string somehow.
Yikes. Today is not your day.
By dinnertime, you were starving.
You forgot to grab breakfast while trying to talk to the others, and you were crying when it was time for lunch due to Jason yelling at you.
You went downstairs to eat with everyone, eyes still puffy and red from crying. You were hungry.
While walking downstairs, you could hear everyone laughing and chatting together.
As soon as you appeared in the room, it went silent and the room got tense.
It stayed that way until you left.
You finally got to your room.
You don't understand.
What's wrong with you?
Your body? Face? Your hair? How you speak? How you dress?
They keep you guessing.
What's wrong with you?
Could it them?
It's probably you!
Why won't they just listen for once?!
It's clear you want them near you, you need attention, you need them.
You feel yourself start crying again.
"Please don't ignore me." you whisper to yourself.
Suddenly the room is spinning, you feel like you're melting, and everything's wrong with you!
The bite itches, it burns, you just wanna sleep, you're well rested, you feel like you're melting, why can't it stop?!
Everything's going wrong!
You're tired of them! Tired of Dicks dumb excuses on why you two could never hang out! Tired of Jason's constant pushing you away! Tired of Tim always leaving you! Tired of Damian always attacking you, verbally and physically! Tired of Alfred always defending everyone but you! Tired of your father dismissing you!
You wanna cry. You wanna cry and scream and hit something.
Maybe you should stop trying. You're the only one who cares.
You can't keep pretending you're fine.
You've decided to stop caring about them.
You think you deserve better.
You aren't sure.
You don't think you'll ever be.
Who are you really?
oml this is kinda bad...
guys trust in future chapters i WILL be including more of the spider stuff🙏🙏🙏 its on its way
everyones prolly ooc i dont know what im on about
guys pls sned asks and stuff and interact its wjat keeps me goimg 🙏
also should inpost my series on ao3 question mark
taglist: @bath1lda @mariadvorak
#batfam x neglected reader#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#batsis#bruce wayne x daughter reader#neglected reader#platonic batfam#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#batfam x batsis#neglected batfam#batfamily x neglected reader#neglected reader x batfamily#yandere batfam x neglected reader#emotional neglect#spider bat!reader#spider reader#yandere batfam x spider reader#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse
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lessons in anatomy II
an art professor Wick x drawing model muse! reader AU...
II.
-It takes about three classes for you to finally relax around Professor Wick. You still feel his eyes upon you when you pose, but he does not make you feel uncomfortable. In fact…he is painfully proper with you. As he should be, of course, but sometimes, late at night when you are kept awake by your thoughts of him…you wish he would be just a tad forward. It's unseemly, what you would let that sweet man get away with. Therein lies the conundrum, you suppose. If he made a pass at you…he wouldn't be so sweet.
-One day you are making your rounds during the break, when you happen to notice Professor Wick was drawing at his desk along with the students. You were in a reclining pose, feigning sleep. The way he drew you…you know better than to think you could possibly look so alluring in real life, but there is something in the varied weight of his lines, the soft shading. Somehow he configured the shadows of the background to suggest wings folded over your supine nude form.
You've never really liked your body. Well…who does like themselves, truly? But modeling in the classroom, seeing your flesh turned into art, has helped you find a confidence, or at least an acceptance, you didn't have before. Wick’s rendition goes beyond all that, though. You can't let this go to your head. It’s too much. “I hope…you don't mind.”
Again, he's crept up on you without a sound, and you nearly jump out of your skin.
Clutching your heart, you look back at him.
“No…I…it’s beautiful.”
You don't know where you get the courage to meet his high-polished onyx gaze, but you feel something inside you implode…then melt.
“You're beautiful, y/n.”
You have no idea that this is the first time he's drawn anyone besides his wife, since she passed.
You stand like this in agonizing stasis, close, but not touching, for you don't know how long. You're not sure what might have happened, given enough time, but some of the students return to class, and the moment is broken. You don’t know if you're disappointed, or relieved.
-You don't know why it's taken you this long, but you finally look up “John Wick+artist”. What you find takes your breath away. Yes, he's a skilled draughtsman. And a painter. And sometimes he combines all these things with bookbinding.
He's incredible.
His paintings are dark, with a touch of fantasy, evoking grisly folktales and the old masters in his play of light and shadows. He uses perspective and foreshortening to explore the human body in exciting new ways. He made his name with a series of ethereal ballet dancers in precarious situations. Later, he only painted his wife, Helen. She was a photographer, and in a snap of them with cheeks pressed together they seem impossibly happy. You see that she succumbed to a terminal illness two years ago.
The art world has not heard from John Wick since.
You do not know this man, really, but you cry for him all the same.
-You have no idea, how you move him. It's not just that he's seeing you naked on a regular basis, though that does not help. It's the flash of your eyes across the room, your smile and your laughter as you joke around with the students while they draw you as God made you. There is a light in you that he cannot turn away from, perhaps because he has lived in darkness for so long. He craves you– and he knows he shouldn't. He traces your form with charcoal on paper, and he tells himself that that will have to do.
He looks you up too.
He finds your little miniature paintings on your social media, your digital portfolio for all to see. You make tiny eclectic diorama scenes you cook up with a 5/0 brush, sometimes you add moving parts and teeny dolls with teenier twee companions. Polly Pocket never had a pet opossum…poor girl. Your diminutive pieces hint at a longing for the enchantment of childhood lost, and maybe a cozy home that feels whole, if not strange to an outsider’s eye.
He notices you have not created anything you feel like sharing lately. He wonders if you are ok. The answer amongst the creatively inclined is usually not. But if you are not happy…you hide it well.
He senses there is a well of strength in you that he wishes he could drown himself in.
TBC...
___
masterlist/chapter map
pinterest board/ photo credits
#ahhhhhhh you guys thank u this is so much fun i love u!!!!!🖤🖤#john wick#john wick x reader#john wick x you#john wick x y/n#keanu reeves#professor wick AU#yandere john wick
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the primarchs as dom/sub
sorry if this has been done before, I just couldn't get it out of my head. based this on my more dark view of the lore/universe and how I write them. there is a secret third (sixth?) option, vanilla.
nsfw, 18+ below the cut. mostly pre-heresy
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the lion: dom. top of the charts. in his everyone is there to serve him, and you are no different. into all that humiliation and degradation, thoroughly enjoys the way you writhe under him and beg him so desperately. he'll hold your face towards him and ask you if you really deserve him in that way. makes you beg until you're crying. he just looks at you lovingly and finally gives you what you want, not before he makes it agonisingly slow for you. will still please you just to prove a point and he's surprisingly good at it, especially with his huge hands and his tongue. loves you deep down, but truly believes its his place to be above you and telling you what to do. gets you to clean him up afterwards and maybe lets you lay with him.
fulgrim: switch. it's too easy to say he's into everything, but I do believe he would try everything at least once, and is happy to indulge anything he likes. sometimes that's putting a collar on you and admiring his view as he tells you step by step what you'll be doing next. sometimes it's being held down to the bed with the softest of ribbons as you pour hot wax over his chest. he wants to explore what there is to offer and if you're open to it, so is he. so that does mean odd things as well, unexpected little kinks and treats along the way. admires the marks left on both your skin and his, as long as its not permanent.
perturabo: soft dom. doesn't like giving up his control to you, but doesn't reach the hard limits of dominating you fully. his touch is soft and his words and commanding, but only because he is usually like that. probably prefers to not treat you like another one of his men behind closed doors... but still doesn't want you telling him what to do. most probably tried it once and hated it (secretly didn't mind it but he struggles with actually acting submissive, as much as he wanted to be babied some more). there's not many kind words, just pulling your hair where he wants you, grunting as a return of satisfaction, pushing your face into the mattress but giving you enough room to breathe. its a personality thing, really.
the khan: soft dom. he would explore with you, try many things to understand what they are and how they feel, but ultimately he wants to take care of you. the natural result of that is someone who's stroking your cheek and hushing away the tears as you choke on his cock for the seventh minute straight. calls you his baby (or like, something equivalent) as he watches you use him to get yourself off, whimpering and moaning his name, something which genuinely warms him. can make any day better for you, loves to whisper to you how much he cares for you, loves to make you forget anything bad happened with those hands and fingers of his. tucks you in afterwards, protects you with his whole being. aww.
leman: vanilla. my most controversial take. my feeling is he craves connection and someone who understands him, and he's a passionate lover. that isn't to say he wouldn't try being dominant or submissive (probably the latter less so) but his preference is vanilla. something pure filled with emotions. he's so caught up in the moment that he doesn't have time to stop and thinking about telling you to what to do and how to do it. he just goes with whatever happens. maybe externally he puts on a gruff and domineering persona but actually, that doesn't matter to him. he just wants to see you happy and whatever that takes he will do - so he'd happily try any of the kink stuff you wanted. just don't expect him to want to be called daddy/master/etc or submit to you.
dorn: switch. thought about him being vanilla but I don't think he would be. its an interesting world to explore. he's perceptive to whatever you need, but understands that one person has to take a submissive role, and one person a dominant role. maybe that goes to extremes sometimes and he's telling you to call him sir, or he's presenting himself to you tied up (because you may have enjoyed that), but mostly its just the soft things. likes it either way and lets you take control most of the time. only thing he's precious about is giving head, he will always do that in the most submissive way, like he's feasting on nectar from the gods, blessed with each move of his tongue. an interesting experience, to say the least.
curze: soft dom. thinks it is his place to be in control but isn't precious about it like some of his brothers. not as gentle or as caring as he could be during sex but he certainly takes the lead and has something to show about it. wraps his fingers around your neck, holds your hands down against the bed so you can't move, leaves bite after bite over your neck and chest until you're covered in a reminder that you are his. in the same vein, quite possessive, and his more dominant tendencies seem to come out of that is threatened. would probably overstimulate you to let out his frustrations and remind you again that you are his. greedy is the word. wants all of you, to himself, forever and ever. kinks is a different story, but is holding your head underwater until you cum a really dominant thing..?
sanguinius: sub. sorry but like, the first ever thing I thought about with him was calling him a good boy. a very soft lover in general, he lets you take control and thrives off being told how well he is doing, that he's the one who makes you feel this good. isn't afraid to whimper for you, lay down all his strength just so you can tie his pretty arms to the frame of a bed and stroke him over and over again until he begs for it. endures it all just so he can see you ride him. lets you push him around test him. oh, he loves it when you tease him. cockwarming. rubbing him through his clothes. whispering to him that he needs to wait, but doing everything in your power to make him cum there and then? would do absolutely anything for you.
ferrus: soft dom. a bit vanilla at first, with actions and feelings not being his strongest selling point. a man of practicalities seeks to understand everything about you and learn your interests. but of course strength and perfection is key to him. everything he does is dominant. it starts with seeking you out, pushing you against the wall, lips ghosting your ear as you feel how much he needs you. the smirk when he feels how wet you are from just... the thought of him. every movement is precise, and equally intense. you feel all of him, and he makes sure you understand that he is in control here. making up with him in this manner may result in more dominant, hot tempered moments, telling you exactly what he's going to do, and you're going to like.
angron: vanilla. maybe a bit controversial as well. was thinking soft dom but then changed my mind, he's just naturally imposing and domineering but not dominant. when he had the capability to understand love and relationships in that way, I feel it was very personal to him. he wanted to feel the truth, not arbitrary words of praise or command. so therefore it does not steer in a particularly dominant or submission direction for either of you, it's a moment of you being truly together. probably the least kinky as well imo. as time progresses it becomes more feral, more of an untamed desire, which is still unmatched to either side. personality wise he is probably more dominant though so take that as you will.
guilliman: soft sub. but like close to vanilla. he doesn't need to be told what to do or pushed around, but just a little guidance. someone to kneel beside him, stroke him slowly, maybe play around with him to test his limits, really learn to understand him. very eager to please you especially when he's between your legs looking up at you with his eyes wet and eyes devious. just tell him he did well, you enjoyed it. makes him come back for more. almost a bit timid, afraid he may hurt you in some way, shy as well. of course by the time he is resurrected he's just baby boy™ but also a regent so the second he has some time away from, you know, being the regent, he just wants forget everything else going on and get lost in you.
mortarion: dom. how could he be anything else? at first its just letting out his frustrations but then it's something more. primal. there's no maybes with him, no suggestions. he tells you what to do and you do it. sometimes he would be a bit softer, but its rare and usually when he's tired or his mind is elsewhere. he's in control of everything, he tells you when you can cum, he tells you when you can move, and god forbid you don't listen to him. if he hasn't given you permission well... its a week of edging and desperation for you. likes seeing you helpless before him. but when it's all finished and his needs are dealt with, he's got his arms around you and he won't let go. a weird way of registering his feelings.
magnus: switch. thought about this one too long. sometimes he'd love to be cared for, have his hair stroked as you praise him. other times, he's got you up against a wall and using all that size to his advantage. kind of like exploring what their is to offer, but his preferences do not lean towards dom or sub individually, maybe just a very small amount towards sub because he feels utterly useless without being told just how well he is doing. doesn't mean he's not smug about it when he finds you alone thinking about it. that's when his more dominant side comes out. if we are talking about demon form though it's definitely dom all the time.
horus: soft dom. it's not that he can't be fully dominant. he can. but why do it when he can be taken care of with soft kisses and making you happy too? hence the soft bit. likes to watch with his hand in your hair as you suck him off. tells you to take a little more of him and softly encourages you, never forces you. it's like a subtle hint, one you will get, or he'll just add a touch more dominance for show. discovers the daddy kink by accident and is fascinated with it. show daddy what a good girl you've been. holds your hands down as he's behind you. praises you gently and rewards you for small things during the day. probably loves going down on you as well as a reward for bigger things. but he'd never take it too far, he just enjoys the simpler things.
lorgar: sub. so eager to please. wants to be rewarded. he'd be on his knees for days if you'd let him, begging, wanting a small taste. even just your scent makes him hard. would wait for your command to do anything - touch himself, touch you, etcetc. whines and whimpers until you finally let him cum each time. at first its seems like he hates it but he does very much like it. any time you don't tell him what to do he looks lost and needs your guidance. based on this he would always let you be on top and especially likes it when he can look at you and worship you. every part of your body is divine to him. any time you're apart he's thinking of you and wondering when he will next get to hear your voice command him around. whipped.
vulkan: soft dom. super protective of you and isn't afraid to show it. has you take about your day as he goes down on you. tells you not to stop and looks to you curiously when you can't get your words out straight. is always so gentle though he could never reach the level of dominance like some of his brothers, its barely even soft dom - it's gentle, passionate, but every single one of his movements means something. tells you how well you are doing as you take his whole length and holds you close. likes hearing every sound you make and still asks permission to do everything, uttering things like may I? as his lips and tongue finds your body. really cautious of hurting you.
corax: dom. nothing soft about him. maybe to everyone else he looks like he would not value anything physical, but really, he's an absolute...menace? has you over his knee letting out his frustrations one spank at a time. likes it when you cry his name. rubs you through your clothes and laughs when you're an overstimulated mess on the floor. master/slave dynamic at some points. and it feels like it goes on and on for hours with him, he plays out fantasies in his head, has you on your knees then in his lap making you watch in the mirror as you cry and beg. but afterwards he would clean you up every time and fall asleep with you between his arms because he's quietly, and a lot less obviously, devoted to you too.
alpharius: soft sub. though he could be anything. i like to think one twin is soft sub and one is soft dom, which would technically make the single entity a switch. is it too late to change? considering I see him as a bit of a yandere it may be a bit of a surprise, but his darker side is outside the bedroom. inside, he is sweet and innocent, he's begging for praise and to be held. has you straddling his lap with your fingers in his mouth making him wait patiently for you to be ready to actually please him. handsy, touches you everywhere, barely contains himself around you. you'd get suspicious when he tells you to stop, throws you onto the mattress and takes you from behind... but hey, they don't know what each other are like. daydreams about you though. has a little notebook with hearts around your name but no one can see it.
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I know not everyone will agree but I hope I at least made you think!!
#primarch x reader#primarch x oc#lion el'jonson#fulgrim#perturabo#jaghatai khan#leman russ#rogal dorn#konrad curze#sanguinius#ferrus manus#angron#roboute guilliman#mortarion#Magnus the Red#horus lupercal#lorgar aurelian#Vulkan#corvus corax#alpharius omegon#hmm should they have been tagged?? idk#I feel like such a fucking boomer on here now#lua.blrb
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I just made a HUGE discovery for a possible song featured in Stranger Things 5 for BYLER, PLEASE hear me out 😭
This song, is called "Bizarre Love Triangle" and guess when it was released...
In November 1986 (the year and possible month the season is settled). I'M CRYING.
This song, talks about a Love Triangle. It is gender neutral, so we can totally interpret it the way we want, so here's mine:
The love triangle is obviously Mike - Will - Eleven. Now why bizarre? Because it is not two boys in love with the same girl, but one boy and one girl in love with the same boy, and that boy not sure if he likes the girl or the boy...
Let's see the lyrics shall we?
FIRST VERSE:
Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find
Livin' a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows
Well, every day my confusion grows
———
Now, let's analyse these lyrics with Will's pov...
Every time I think of you = Mike
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue = the color of Mike. Every single time he thinks about Mike, it feels like being shot, maybe in the heart.
It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find = meaning that for him, it isn't a problem of liking Mike, but it's a problem overall for society or for everyone else (their friends, families...)
Livin' a life that I can't leave behind = he can't forget Mike so he lives the life he's currently living because he can't leave it behind, leave Mike behind. He's too attached to him, to leave him.
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won't set you free = Will is known as the wise one of the group, and also the fool (= doesn't like girls, is childish, is gay). Meaning that his own wisdom won't set Mike free (probably of the fake person he's being, the fake relationship he has with El).
But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows = It's the way things are, Will likes him but Mike is trying to act straight and nobody knows that, nobody knows they're struggling.
Well, every day my confusion grows = this sentence can feel like a response to what Will has "said" before. He says all those things, and Mike answers this. His confusion of liking Will grows every day. He feels confused if he actually likes El or not and if not, if he likes Will.
———
So with this first verse, things are set that Will loves Mike but he's too detached from that, too confused about who he loves and what he should do. Now, let's see the chorus:
CHORUS
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say
———
It seems like the chorus can be perceived as Mike's pov. Let's see how the analysis works out here:
Every time I see you falling = every time Will is on the bottom, like with his feelings, when he feels at the bottom (= sad).
I get down on my knees and pray = can be a reference to the fact that Mike's family are conservatives, and religious. Although we've never seen them pray or anything, they're the cliché of the suburban family with a big house, and this cliché involves being Christian.
I'm waiting for that final moment = the ending of the show?
You say the words that I can't say = the most obvious of them all: we know Mike is unable to say I love you to El, so he's waiting that final moment where Will is going to say I love you to him, because it seems like he's incapable to do it himself. Which means that Mike won't be the one to say I love you first.
———
So this chorus was centered on Mike's feelings and current situation. Now, the second verse.
SECOND VERSE:
I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
———
This is so Byler coded, and it is again, Mike's pov. So here's my analysis:
I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should = not okay to be feeling that way, this good.
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say = this can have 2 meanings. Either it is about how he's feeling good when he's next to Will and he doesn't even know what to talk about or say because he's flustered. Or, he says he's feeling "good" and he shouldn't be when he's with Eleven, and whenever he gets this way, with El, he doesn't know what to say because he doesn't like her that way.
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday? = About Will: why can't they be friends like before, like what changed? About El: why can't they be strangers/friends like before, why did they have to be together that way? Why did he push himself to in the first place.
I'm not sure what this could mean = About Will: the feelings he has, he's not sure what they are about (= his love feelings towards Will). About El: he's not sure of why he's feeling uncomfortable when he's with her (= platonic feelings towards El).
I don't think you're what you seem = I'm not sure if this could be said by Will or El. It can be, again like some sort of answer, response to what's previously said. So I think it could be El or Will saying to "you" (= Mike) that he's not acting like his usual self, he's different, faking to be perceived as normal (= regarding El, acting straight).
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else = back to Mike. Again this can have 2 meanings. For El: admitting that if he hurts her, by using her as a beard. For Will: hurting him by ignoring his feelings, letting him on the side and only concentrating on Eleven, hurting his feelings (platonic like romantic).
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be = for El: what they're meant to be, so friends. Meaning if he hurts her by not admitting that he doesn't like her, he'll never see her and him as friends. For Will: what they're meant to be is boyfriends. Meaning if he hurts him by not admitting his feelings and ignoring him, he'll never see each other as lovers.
———
We can clearly see how this verse applies to Mike, as how he's confused and trapped between dating a girl he doesn't like and wanting a boy he likes. But it is the 80s, he's scared of what others would think, especially himself. Because of this internalized homophobia he has.
The rest of the song is the chorus repeated four times.
Overall, this song is exactly what Mike feels about Will and about Eleven, about this Bizarre Love Triangle.
If you have other interpretation for that song, please feel free to give it. This was mine, and you may not be agreeing with it entirely, so if you have a different opinion, I'd be glad to read it.
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler nation#byler is endgame#st5 speculation#song interpretation#stranger things speculation
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what about a navy! sevika x farmer! reader where the both of them are on the edge of their relationship because sevika won't prioritize her wife because reader wants to start a family before reader eventually goes out to her garden in the middle of the night.
sevika then follows her wife to the garden to she apologies and beg for forgiveness before they eventually got really really breeding kink, praise kink intimate on the grass in the garden in the middle of the night
Little You's, Little Me's, but Janna, Little You's...
Navy! Sevika x Farmer!Reader
Contains smut, angst, breeding, praise kink, lovey sex, impregnation, possible depressed!reader, modern au, Sevika G!P
With the basic supply and demand of fruits and vegetables during spring, you're always on your feet running errands and supplying food.
It gets tiring after a while especially when after a particularly heavy night even when you come back there is no loving wife of yours to greet you, hold you, sleep with you or even have sex with at this point.
Beyond frustration.
And you knew perfectly well this was because Sevika didn't want kids and you did, so whenever you guys would talk now it'd get awkward because of that. When you both met you both had planned out your entire future together but now it all seemed in shambles. The woman you had married, who once said she loved children, didn't anymore.
Your marriage was at an all time low, Sevika was so busy with her work and missions that she was barely even available anymore and it made you so sad.
At the beginning you had thought she was cheating but then you both had a huge fight about it, it's been distant since that one fight.
Today was your anniversary and this was the first anniversary you spent without Sevika, sitting by the staircase in front of the front door, praying to Janna she comes back tonight because you have so much to ask. Does she even love you anymore?
The door clicks at 3 AM and Sevika slips in. She sees you at the staircase and sighs.
"I know I'm sorry." She said her voice nonchalant which made you further mad, she averted her gaze.
"You don't sound sorry," You retorted angrily, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
"What do you want me to say?!" Sevika yelled back, her voice booming, making yours seem like a puppy's bark, "I'm not bending backwards and apologising for no shit, you know very well what my job expects of me, and if you can't handle that maybe you should buy yourself some maturity!—"
"All this just because I wanna settle down? I'm not getting any younger, Sev..." Tears appear at your eyes and you say nothing as you stormed upstairs and into your shared bedroom, curling up in bed. You felt miserable now.
You waited for her to come in the bedroom and comfort you but you didn't hear her walking in so after you got up and looked around, the bedroom was still empty. It made you feel even more hopeless than before.
You could hear the faint snoring, Sevika was probably sleeping on the couch. You stayed there curled up in bed, leaning against the bedframe with tears pricking your eyes. You could feel the warmth of the tears falling down your cheek, it's been a while since you've felt any sort of warm anyway.
2 days pass, it's been the same except now you don't even get up to water your garden, nurture the plants. You just stay in your room, eat in your room, sleep in your room and sulk in your room. You wanted to cry, scream and just disappear but you also loved Sevika so immensely that it was eating away at your whole being at this point.
It was late at night and you couldn't hear Sevika snoring from down the hall, usually it was the white noise that helped you sleep but today you didn't even know if she was home.
Body too tired to move from mental exhaustion but you forced yourself out of bed, almost stumbling into the wall as you walked down the hall. Your eyes squinted in the darkness and finally found the doorknob, you opened it and a small gust of wind greeted you. You sighed again, heart heavy, you just wanted Sevika.
You walked outside and sat down on the grass, curling up there.
A while later, you hear the crunching sounds of the grass signalling Sevika either stepped out of the house too and into your garden or some mindless killer had broken into the fencing and would kill you.
Whichever it was, you didn't really care. Still staring into nothingness. You felt the figure kneel down behind you, "Baby," came Sevika's soft voice, "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said all that."
You turned to look at her, eyes tired, face sunken.
"Love," Sevika gently held the side of your face, "Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said. I'm just scared. I'm being a little bitch but I'm so fucking scared that I won't be able to give my little ones enough time. I already don't give you time and—"
"Mm, it's okay," you said, looking away at the ground.
"No, it's not okay, I'm ready now. I'm sorry for being so cowardly, I couldn't even tell you, I thought you'd assume I'm weak."
"It's okay," you said now cracking a small smile as Sevika leaned in and kissed you, "Mm..." The kiss deepened, your body pressing into hers as you both kissed.
"I'd love to see little you's, little me's running around. Oh but Janna, little you's," Sevika said, her voice a little dreamy before she continued kissing you making you moan a little in her mouth, that gets her immediately hard.
Her hard cock pressing against your clothed sex through her sweatpants but she doesn't stop kissing you. Sevika nips at your jaw, and your neck as she moved lower. Her hands slipping beneath your blouse as she palmed your breasts. She was being soft and slow. Something you've rarely seen during sex.
You tilt your head back giving her better access to continue her ministrations, (I sound like c.ai)
"Doing so well, my baby," Sevika muttered as she tugged her sweat pants down just enough for her massive erect cock to slap up against her stomach, oozing precum.
"Stuff me with your cum," You cooed in her ear which was probably tearing away at any forming hesitations in Sevika's head. She didn't need telling twice when she pushed your panties to the side and penetrated you. Her cock slipping in your slick wet folds with ease, buried snuggly within you.
"You look so beautiful like this, taking my cock so well," Sevika mumbled, she would always go pussy drunk whenever she was inside you mainly because you were so lewdly wet and your pussy was so tight.
Sevika pistoned her hips, pushing deeper into your cunt with each thrust, hands coming down to roll and twist your nipples between thick fingers that didn't hesitate going down your throat too, making you choke and drool.
"S-Sevika..." You whispered and then moaned loudly as she got a little faster.
"That good, yeah, baby? You like it? Want more?" Sevika cooed and you nodded, barely able to make sense out of her words as she thrusted in and out. Your juices coated her shaft completely, you needed more of her.
"Sevika, Sevika," you continued babbling her name and moaning softly with every kiss of her dick to your cervix, it felt far too good.
"Gonna cum in this pretty pussy," Sevika panted out, kissing you deeply. As she gave one ast thrust, you could feel your pussy filling up with her warm semen. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling, she didn't pull out though, she stayed inside for a bit before she slowly pulled out, letting your panties back on your vagina.
"They'll get soaked," you whined.
"I don't care, keep it inside," Sevika kissed you again.
Sevika picked you up bridal style and took you to the bedroom, letting you lay down as she cleaned herself off and then you too, running you a warm bubble bath.
"I'm so sorry for fucking up our anniversary," Sevika leaned in, kissing your forehead and stroking your hair gently as she helped washed your sore body.
"It's okay," you said with a tired smile, "I'm just really sleepy..."
"I know," Sevika gave you a half smile before picking you up, drying you off and putting you in bed, tucking you in. She got in bed too beside you and held you close.
"Soon... We'll have a little human all to ourselves," Sevika thought out loud to herself, looking at your already asleep face, "Sleep well, love."
#arcane#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika my love#arcane sevika#sevika i love you#sevika is my wife#sevika is so much more then a henchman#sevika x reader#wlw#soft sevika#sevika save me#sevika sevika sevika#sevika supremacy#sevika my wife#sevika icons#sevika imagine
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Do Mutants Dream of Two-Headed Sheep? Prologue || Logan x Cyborg!Reader
Warnings: Body horror, experimentation, reader is in a lot of pain, violence, angst.
a/n: This is the rescue! A preview to the first chapter which should be out sometime next week <3 Short but I hope you enjoy
Series Masterlist
Hurts. Hurts so bad.
Everything hurts. You can’t feel your hands, your legs. You can’t move. Strapped down with cold leather straps. You try to move but you can’t. There’s a ringing in your ears that won’t stop. It’s loud. So loud. You open your mouth to scream but nothing comes out. Your heart pounds in your chest as your mind screams a million things at once.
Where am I? Get out Get out Get out. I can't move. Help someone help. Who am I? GET OUT!
It takes everything inside of you to open your eyes. Every ounce of willpower is dedicated to what was once a simple task. A bright white light shines in your eyes. You wince as your eyes squint. Your vision is blurry as you try to look around.
As the room comes into focus, so does your hearing. The ringing in your ears quiets as the sounds of destruction and screams fill the void. An alarm is blaring loudly throughout wherever you are. You see steel tables, medical equipment, scans. Fuck where were you.
Why can't you remember anything? Your brain goes fuzzy as you try and recall anything from a few minutes ago. The last memory is pain. So much pain. You start to hear the screaming get closer.
“Help…” Your voice is raspy as you try to call for anyone. Your throat burns as you speak. Footsteps get closer and closer.
“Please, Help me.” You cry a little louder.
Pain shoots through your body as you try to move your arms. You want to cry, but no tears come. You don’t understand. Suddenly you hear a loud bang. The steel doors bend under the pressure as the banging continues. You cry out in relief as the doors burst open. You see a strange man enter the room.
“Over here!” He calls, his voice sounds so far away.
Snikt
In your hazy vision you see blades come out of the mans hand. Suddenly the leather straps were gone, cut away. Fear shoots through your heart at the sight of his claws.
No no no, he's going to hurt you. The people with knives, they hurt you.
"Please no don't." You whimper as he comes closer.
“Hey there kid I'm not gonna hurt you okay? We’re gonna get you out of here.” He says.
You groan as he picks you up. You move your left hand, cupping his face. Trying to see who this was, what was going on. And then you move your right hand. Only something feels very wrong. The pain still echoes through your body but only on one side.
“Wait.” You mumble. Pushing yourself out of the man's grip.
He grunts as you push hard with your right hand, sending him stumbling back much to his surprise. You fall from his grasp. A loud clang echoes when you hit the ground. You hear more footsteps, more people, more talking.
“Oh my god.” You hear a voice say in a terrified whisper.
“Kid, you need help.” The man from before says, bending down to whisper in your ear.
You ignore him. Crawling towards a steel pan on the ground. Shakily you lift your right hand. To your horror there is no longer the familiar sight of a human hand.
It’s solid white. Plates of metal make up what was once your skin. Wires connect like veins. You close your fist and open it again. Your eyes trail up your arm. The whole thing is just like your hand. Shiny white metal instead of what was once your soft skin.
You grab the steel pan and hold it up to your face. The image is distorted but you can see yourself clear as day. Half your face is turned into something so, unhuman. Robotic and unnatural.
You lift your other hand, your human hand to your face. You flinch as you touch the cold metal of your cheek. A tear slips down one of your cheeks while your other eye just stares back, cold and empty. You drop the pan in horror. Your mind goes numb as you feel a hand on your shoulder. Someone speaks but you can’t hear them.
They wrap a blanket around you, and lead you outside. They speak to you slowly and carefully, like you’re a wounded animal. They stare at you like you’re a freak. A failed experiment that has stripped you of everything. You are a freak, you are an abomination of bones and metal.
You don’t look at them. Don’t acknowledge a single thing as you stare at the floor. Slowly you lift your head, the man who cut you free sits across from you. Staring at you with hostile eyes. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the warped metal above him.
The blanket falls open, you get a look at your whole body. Half human, half machine. Expect your chest, where your ribs, your heart should be. Is a big gaping hole. Just tubes and wires and metal.
What have they done to you?
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett angst#logan howlett x cyborg!reader#wolverine x reader
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your thoughts on the absolute shitshow that was this derby?
my high level thoughts, with more detailed breakdown below:
it's not just about winning. it's how you win and how we won today was very concerning. 🙃 especially considering we can't score off a set piece to save our lives.
you cannot blame a lack of patri or alexia on this match. this is espanyol we are playing against, not lyon. this should have been an easy win.
this match was like earlier matches this season and shows a lack of learning by pere and the technical staff. we were lucky that espanyol did not have speedy forwards who could take advantage of counters like levante did.
subs matter and can inject energy into a dead match. esmee and salma worked quite well on the left and gave the team that needed energy boost.
this team looks exhausted and beat down, mentally and physically. we need to shake it off as we enter our hardest month in march! 😤
let's start with formations. it's clear that pere has no tactical answers and his response is to put forward his best players for a starting XI and go from there, instead of thinking tactically about the opponent and rotating in response.
we knew we were in for a long day in minute 2 when kika missed the most perfect cross in the box by pina.
there was a distinct lack of fluidity and connection in the way we played. mapi had beautiful long crosses into the box (minute 3 and minute 8 for example), but our forwards were either a step behind or a step ahead.
which takes me to set pieces. we had 13 corners with little to show for them. the same goes for free kicks. poor tactics there. set pieces need to be though of as gifts, and we need to take advantage of ever single one!
aitana and caro are not themselves. it's clear they are exhausted and you could see the frustration in caro, especially. it's really tough to see.
rolfö was poor and hasn't been herself since her injury. esmee needs to be our go to left back. she's proven herself as once she entered the match, our left side became very dynamic. she had good combinations with salma when she was subbed on and esmee's cross to caro led to our first goal.
more unnecessary minutes congestion for our players. our subs came on too late in the match, and there was no reason for aitana to eat another almost 90 minutes.
yes, it's a win, but you don't want to see a match where your players are agitated and frustrated for almost the full 90 and some of your players end the match crying. i always want to give the new staff time to adapt but the time for adaptation has long gone. we need to recognise that there are problems here and fix them!
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so sorry if this goes against your rules since I haven't seen any yet but could you wright a sahsrau where reader tries to help Bailu save the xianzhou natives from their curse and in the end, they end up succeeding in doing so
Warnings: OOC. Platonic relationship. Mentions of medications.
A/N: Don't worry, your request didn't want against my rules.
----
You knew, that Blade's healing won't go unnoticed. How could it not be? The case of healed mara, that mysterious plague, would catch people's attention.
So, you won't be surprised, if the question of healing others would be asked.
But, it didn't come. Each time you attend The Xianzhou Luofu, you saw, how Alchemy Commission Personnel looked at you. Blade still was Persona non grata, but he was with you during your first visit. People saw him only once, and they see enough for rumors to start circling around.
But no one approach him or you with The Question.
Initiative is punishable, but you will take a risk.
-----
Now you spend most of your days in HSR World with Bailu. Observing mara-struck and helping her with healing other different sickness. And reading anything you could find about mara. Information was limited and, in some cases, vague. Not enough to work with or make solid theories.
But you have to start with something.
One time, when you two were having a small tea break together, Bailu thanked you.
"[Y/N], thank you for your help. Even if we didn't make any progress for now, I appreciate it."
-----
The first attempt in curing mara was an interesting one. You, with some help from Dimer, got some medication for Memory, Cognition & Dementia-Related Behaviors from the Real World. They did slow down the mara process, but didn't help patients to rid of it.
The second attempt was the most obvious. Using your blood.
You and Bailu keep "the main ingredient" of the experimental cure a secret.
Somehow, you succeed and fail at the same time.
Your blood did burn away mara-infected cells, curing it. But, your blood also burned in a process. One vial of your blood was enough to cure early stages of mara, but more serious cases required more of your blood. And there were too many patients. They need a lot of your blood.
Too much blood for one adult to give and stay alive and healthy.
You tried to write to Dimer again. Asking for an artifact, that would make you be able to give more blood.
His answer was short. Just a small reminder, that you shouldn't feel obliged to do something drastic or big to pay for your ancestors' sins. And you shouldn't experiment on yourself.
Yes, you have no obligation to help anyone from three worlds. You were just a normal person (with very questionable ancestors). You have no reason to travel between HSR World, Teyvat and New Eridu, for crying out loud! You could stay on Earth and build up HSR/Teyvat/New Eridu Gangs and left the war against divinity to them! And then, no matter if they win or lose, you will live in shame for being a coward. Guilty by inaction.
And you don't want to do that. You have empathy.
You will never forgive yourself, if you didn't try.
That's what you write in your next letter to him.
His next letter was short.
"In the eyes of the divine, you belong to the Earth, to the 'Real World'. However, you still have a deep connection to three more worlds. The connection, that will become stronger with time. Wait. Either for two more months for your blood to become more effective, or until Perversion fall, so you can think about a different alternative for mara."
------
In two months, one vial of your blood was enough to cure more serious stages of mara, and few drops were enough for earlier stages.
A quick letter to Dimer confirmed, that it's not the end and your blood will become even more effective in no time.
Slowly, but surely, the current mara-struck would be healed. As for mara-struck to come...
"So, what do you think?" You observed, how Bailu finished reading the last paper from a small stack you gave her earlier.
It was a project for a future. After Perversion will be dealt with, either you, or anyone who take the Creator's role, will make a lot of changes. One of them would be to change mara to something different.
You decided to call it Molting. While not an accurate title, it gave a good enough idea for what it will be.
In short, after a long-lived species reach eight hundred years, the regeneration process in their bodies will become dormant. During the next one hundred and fifty years they would go through a traditional aging process. Bad memory, bad eyesight, illness... Some unimportant memories will be "deleted". Nothing important will disappear. It should give a much-needed mental 'reboot' to a person.
After one hundred and fifty years passed, the regeneration process will start again. At the end, long-lived human will become good as new. Both physically and mentally.
She put the last paper down and looked at you.
"It is better, than the mara, I admit. But, Divine Healing, do they really need an aging process?"
You immediately nodded, while ignoring the title.
"Yes. Some rules must be followed. If not death, then aging. If not an internal sleep, then a rebirth, or regeneration, or..."
"Molting?" Bailu tilted her head. You nodded.
"Yes. I might come up with something else. But, for now, I only can think about that. I will do better..."
Bailu clapped her hands, making you stop talking. A grateful smile appeared on her face.
"Thank you for everything, Divine Healing. You already did enough. We already have a cure. Mara doesn't look too bad or scary anymore. And if you change mara to something less lethal and cruel... Xianzhou Alliance already in your debt, Divine Healing, but after that, you might become as important as Lan The Hunt."
You nervously chuckled. You were glad, that you have good relationship with aeons. You don't want to live in fear of being a target of Lan's hunt. Or Yaoshi's rage. Your voice was barely a whisper.
"I didn't do it for praise. I won't do it for recognition."
Bailu quickly nodded.
"I know, Divine Healing. But we couldn't just let your good deeds to be left unnoticed. Few days ago, Arbiter-Generals, Six Charioteers, High Elders and Preceptors have a discussion about you. Xianzhou Alliance are ready to follow you. We will assist you in your quest in saving three worlds. Together to the brighter future, right, Divine Healing?"
You looked away, staring at the distance.
"Yes. To the future."
#sahsrau#gender neutral reader#hsr self aware#self aware hsr#self aware honkai star rail#hsr bailu#honkai star rail bailu#Self-Aware Bailu
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can't stop thinking about this version of them...
ed joining a local bunny owners facebook group and becoming online friends with stede, before eventually working up the nerve to tell stede that after all the funny and ridiculous stories he's shared about arthur, ed is dying to meet him. stede is very enthusiastic about the idea.
when ed shows up at stede's house the next day, everything seems more neat and tidy than it usually is in stede's pictures. stede himself seems far more pretty in person too. stede excitedly takes him to arthur's large x-pen where arthur is busy gnawing on the pen and pushing and pulling it with his teeth. he's so tiny it's really funny to see all this energy coming out of such a small creature.
when he looks up and sees ed, he runs to the back of his pen to a covered area with his bed, and watches them, on alert.
"sorry he's not very friendly..." stede says sadly.
"'s okay. I know the breed tend to be skittish," ed replies, sitting down next to the pen. stede sits down next to him and starts talking about the bunny shenanigans arthur's been up to today. ed responds in kind telling stede all about the cute and silly and naughty things daisy's been up to, and he shows stede a million pictures and videos on his phone.
arthur eventually comes out of his bed area and takes a drink at his water bowl. stede sticks his fingers into the pen and arthur goes over to him and lays his head down and stede pets his forehead. arthur melts a little at the pets.
"aww, he really likes you," ed says softly.
"it was quite a journey. poor little guy was rescued from a horrible breeder situation after there was a fire. he was incredibly distrustful of people, very nippy. the shelter I was at said they didn't know what they were going to do with him. so I took him home right then and there. I didn't know anything about rabbits. I'd gone there planning on getting a dog. I had to keep him in a crate for the first few nights before I got my hands on an x-pen and some proper bunny supplies. but, well, you learn fast when you introduce a 3-pound ball of fluff and rage into your home... but we got through it. getting him neutered once he was old enough did help a lot. and now... well, he's still standoffish and a bit of a criminal, but he's warmed up to life here. the first time I saw him binky, and then the first time I saw him flop over in front of me... I wouldn't trade those moments for anything."
"yeah... daisy wasn't a total hellbunny, luckily. and I had prep time. fang said she was surrendered by a family who realized they couldn't take care of a rabbit. apparently she was a birthday present for twin six-year-old girls--"
stede grimaced.
"yeah, I know, right? she freaked out a lot initially, but she's chilled out since. she prefers to laze around than cause chaos. I'll lay down on the floor and then she'll lay down on the floor by me and I'll pet her... that's really nice... she's so small and I'm so big... and other people have mistreated her in the past but she's always excited to see me, and she'll flop over and close her eyes and let me pet her and she knows I'll never hurt her--" ed got choked up all of a sudden and couldn't keep talking. he inhaled deeply and tried not to cry. stede put his hand on ed's shoulder.
"oh ed... of course she knows you'll never hurt her. you're so lovely and kind, and you take such good care of her. she knows she's safe with you."
this made ed let out a big sob. arthur froze initially and then leaned forward towards ed.
"oh, ed, no, I--" stede started, as ed started crying. "oh dear, I didn't mean to make you cry more! please stop, I, I'm sorry, I don't know what-- edward, please--"
ed tried to slow his breathing down, and came to realize that stede was holding him. he looked down, and saw arthur sticking his nose out of the x-pen at him.
ed slowly brought his fingers close to arthur's eyes, then his nose. he laid his head down, and ed pet him.
"wow..." stede whispered. "that's amazing... he's never warmed up to someone so fast. it took alma multiple visits of feeding him treats for him to let her pet him..."
ed gently stroked arthur from his nose to his forehead. "wow..."
"you're a bunny whisperer, ed."
"pfft. naw. he just wants to assert his dominance as the alpha bun around here. in case I ever come back."
"we'd love to have you back."
"me and daisy will have to have you over first."
"you think they'll get pissed when we come home smelling like different bunnies?"
ed snickered. "maybe. how dare we, really, come home smelling like another bunny. we're monsters."
"the worst kind," stede said, giggling with him.
"but hey... maybe one day they'll meet. and recognize that smell."
"and then they'll start fighting."
"maybe... or maybe they'll realize, 'hey this other bunny is really cool! maybe we could be friends!'"
"I wish! I feel so bad leaving arthur alone, but he seems like he likes being a solitary bun. I'd be worried about him rejecting all other rabbits."
"I feel bad leaving daisy alone too... I have a feeling she'd like a friend."
"maybe she would. maybe they could be friends."
"that'd be nice."
"real nice."
so modern au ed. his employee/buddy(?) fang volunteers at an animal rescue in his free time, and he's always talking about how they have too many animals, and not enough people who seriously want to foster or adopt. and after months of extremely subtly dropping hints to ed about animal companionship and the joys of pet ownership, ed agrees to visit the rescue and see if any of the animals speak to him.
he doesn't like dogs, well, it's not like that exactly. he's met fang's dogs before and they're lovely. he likes dogs when they belong to other people. but they tend to bark and shout at random intervals, and ed doesn't like the idea of a housemate whose favorite hobby is screaming. so he goes in there looking for a cat.
but none of the cats really speak to him. they're cute, sure, but... none of them catch his fancy. and then fang takes him to a room at the back of the rescue, filled with pens that have 1-3 rabbits in them.
in the smallest pen is a lone, tiny little white rabbit with black eyeliner, chewing on the metal bars. it stops and looks up at him.
"that's daisy," fang said. "we got a call about a white rabbit about a month ago and I went and got her. she's not been that friendly with the other rabbits, even though everyone here is spayed and neutered. hence her own little pen."
ed crouched down, and daisy stuck out her nose to sniff at him. "why's she got eyeliner?"
"she's a dwarf hotot. that's just how they look."
"wicked."
daisy hopped to her water bowl and had a drink.
"can I foster her?" ed asked, barely above a whisper.
"sure!"
fang gets ed some reading on bunnies and after about two weeks ed's built a space that he hopes will make daisy very, very happy.
daisy is nervous at first, in ed's home. fang's getting 10 calls a day asking if this or that behavior is normal. ed spends all the time he can with her. he stops working extra-long days because he feels bad leaving daisy alone. slowly, she starts to come out of her shell. she explores more around his house. he sees her binky for the first time, and then flop over for the first time and fully close her eyes. she nudges him for pets. she'll be lying in the corner of her pen and then immediately get up when ed comes home.
after about a month or two of fostering, ed asks if he can adopt her. fang, overjoyed, gives him a big hug, and says of course he can adopt her, fang couldn't think of a better person to adopt her.
maybe this even leads into him joining a bunny owners group, and meeting stede, a bitchy adorable man who owns a bitchy adorable netherland dwarf.
trying to get arthur and daisy to bond ends up being easier than expected...
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Theory of love Episode 1: I hate myself for loving you
Well well well, what do we have here? Could it be my half-baked thoughts on Dear Dakanda, a movie I was supposed to have finished watching 3 days ago, but couldn't get through in a single sitting because I was too busy face-palming myself the whole time, and how it relates to episode 1 of Theory of love? Yes, it is.
The film is about a shy art student, who's in love with his bestfriend but is unwilling to confess because he's scared of losing their friendship.
Third in his review of the film:
I was practically cheering for Khaiyoi. I felt relieved for him.
Even though the film is told from Mhoo's perspective, we know very little about the man himself, other than his unrequited love, which made it really hard for me to root for him. So, Third was definitely projecting onto Mhoo.
As @lurkingshan has already pointed out, Third sees himself in Mhoo and has chosen to out do him in his pining for his bestfriend. It makes me wonder when Third saw Dear Dakanda for the first time, whether it was before meeting Khai or after. He and Khai had a meet-cute which is similar to that of Mhoo and Dakanda, atleast that's how Mhoo views it.
If he had watched the movie prior to meeting Khai, then he was just setting himself up for failure by comparing Khai to Dakanda. Now, if it were the latter, I wonder why he couldn't see himself in Nui rather than Mhoo. Maybe Nui was too honest about her feelings for Third to relate to her. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons Third likes Khai is because Khai isn't afraid of confrontation, unlike him. Khai goes to the film sceening of a guy his ex chose over him, just to publicly humilate the guy. Third can't even himself to show Khai the concert tickets he bought for them to go together.
Side note about their meet-cute: It's a reference to the characters from My girl, which credits the director of Dear Dakanda as one of its screenwriters. If I'm remembering it right, My girl is also on the list.
@neuroticbookworm made a note about the romanticisation of pining in the movie and I'm pretty sure Third caught that because he was embodying it. As harsh as it might sound, the suffering of both Third and Mhoo is self-inflicted.
At no point were they given any indication that their feelings might be reciprocated and yet, they continue to resent the other person for treating them 'only' as a friend. I understand yearning, I love it, but give me some insight into the character before showing them as a pathetic loser (my favorite genre of men, if I may say so myself).
@bengiyo made an interesting note about the overtly heterosexual bubble Third lives in. This gave me a whiplash because in 2025, I'm kinda used to bls where queerness is the norm. We don't know anything about Third's past experiences and how long he's known that he's attracted to men to make any judgements here, but let me just note that Third is not some wallflower, he's part of a clique that is rather popular. Now that Two saw Third crying in the dark over Khai, maybe he'll find an ally, because Third definitely needs someone in his corner.
Something I'm interested in knowing more about is what Khai brings to his friendship with Third. Third repeatedly says that being friends with Khai is better than nothing, so he can't be a friend that flakes on him constantly, as he did in this episode. Hope you're not that much of a masochist, Third!!
Mini-rant:
Having Dakanda mention that she broke up with her boyfriend in her letter to Mhoo was definitely a choice and I wonder how much of that factored into Mhoo mailing her the postcards in return. Also, Mhoo writing I'm happy that, in the end, the thing that lasts the longest and can't easily be ruined is our friendship and ending the postcard by stating that this will be his last correspondence with her doesn't sit right with me.
Of course, one can outgrow a friendship, but, was Mhoo only friends with Dakanda in the hope that she might wake up one day and see him in a romantic light? That would be rather disingenuous now, wouldn't it?Is a female friend worth having only if she's a potential romantic partner? Is the narrative punishing Dakanda for not recognising Mhoo's quiet pining and replying with Why did you confess now?after he let her know about his feelings for her by having her break up with her boyfriend? This whole sequence reeks of valourization of Mhoo's unrequited love over Dakanda getting herself a boyfriend and Third definitely feels the same way about his pining and Khai's flings. Told y'all, I can't look at het romantic relationships objectively because biases start kicking in.
(OR)
Maybe it's about Mhoo choosing to move forward in his life instead of trying to see what can become of his relationship with Dakanda, now that she's aware of his feelings towards her.
We can't know for sure, but I feel like it's a bit of both.
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The more you deny it, the more gay it looks.
I could talk about how perfect they are for each other for hours.
#danganronpa#soudam#kazuichi souda#gundham tanaka#kazuichi x gundham#sdr2#I seriously miss them guys#not a day goes by where I don't cry for them#I want to write them#I want to roleplay them#god someone please feed me food#I miss my ship
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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seasonal depression is hitting so hard this year
#like it's so bad#vent stuff followes#not a day goes by where I don't feel like shit#and even if i do fun things I don't enjoy them#i could cry every day#i feel incredibly ugly#my hair is falling out in tons#i feel uncomfortable with my body in all the ways#i feel incredibly alone#and unloved and unlikeable#I'm not motivated for work#I'm not even motivated to play games#or make gifs as u might see#i feel so tired every day#i just wanna sleep forever
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#bro why is everyone growing up and away and trying to figure out their lives and careers and loves#and im just sitting here missing them?#like sure im trying to figure out mine too we're all that age so I don't resent them for it#but why don't they miss me? why don't they feel empty when they haven't talked to me in a long time?#like. didn't they feel very light and happy after talking to me like i did with them don't they have a bad day and think that oh ill#talk to me and it will all feel okay even if it isn't just for a minute?#oh ny god i feel so pathetic asking this but like why am i suddenly crying now???#like my bestf. she's so busy in her new internship in mumbai that she can't be bothered to text me back#a simple yes no question for days. like i understand you have cool new office and work and friends and your stupid fucking ex#that you couldn't stop crying about to me living in that city with you but what about me? what about us?? what about you saying#that you're my first bestfriend i haven't told this to anyone else this is forever everyone else judges me but you're the best#like i just feel like if you're going to leave me then don't fucking say shit like that to me??#okay oh my god this is so irrational but i literally can't stop crying and it's definitely pms like i checked#she's not even leaving she's just suddenly busy and adjusting it's only been like a month#but i hate this stupid fucking knife like fear that as soon as someone is a little busy or seems like they're pulling away a little my#brain is like okay they hate me they're going to leave me so pack your bags we're leaving first#like i know a better solution would be to just tell her that hey dude i fucking miss you and i saw this show and remember how you used to#love peter kavinsky because he was adorable and i want to sit and watch it with you and just why aren't we back in school#where we are basically forced to hang out for like 7 hours because im so sick of only seeing you like once in 2 months for a few hours#like i know it's not your fault and we're just growing up and in different directions but just please like five more minutes can you stay#i don't even have the confidence to say anything to her lol she's my only friend like if even she gets mad and leaves#but i know that's not how healthy relationships work. and ugh my sister is so fucking far away i can feel it everyday#in the 5 and a half hour time difference. i hate this i hate everyone everyone has to go so far away#i hate living in this empty fucking house and being responsible for my own emotions fuck this isse accha toh living with dad hi hai#atleast when im there there are only 2 emotions anxiety and boredom. now i have a whole house to myself to cry whenever I need#for however long i need in a locked room. really looking forward to adulting haha i can see just see myself succeeding so well🙄#man this is crazy im gonna go do jumping jacks or something so this comes and goes faster#umm#dni
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it's soooo fucked to think about how everything that's ever happened in your life is connected, no matter how mundane. what do you Mean my 5th grade teacher's seating arrangement is the reason i lived past the age of 13
#it goes. have to sit next to the girl who's really into animal jam > get REALLY into animal jam bc of her > discover wattpad through animal#jam youtuber fanfic > spend all my time on it > discover those marysue appraisals that used to be so popular > read all of them > run out#of generalized ones and end up stumbling across one specifically for kuroshitsuji ocs which is titled in a way where i don't think it's#media-specific until i'm already reading it > find it really funny > go to the library the next day > figure 'what the hell. i'll check the#dvds of this show out.' > the dvds are checked out > 'well in japan the adaptations better match the source material' (<<< no idea where i#got that from but it's HILARIOUS that i tried to apply it to kuroshitsuji of all franchises) > take out the entirety of the manga > go#insane over it to the point where i had brought like. 5 volumes to school and started fr Crying over the fact that i finished reading them#and still had hours to go before i could go home and start a new one > make a tumblr account bc i'd been possessed w a love of 2 characters#from the weston arc and no one on wattpad was making content that wasn't centered around the anime or musicals > my phone breaks in 7th#grade and it gets replaced w a new one which works better and thus i can't get around parental controls which means no more wattpad >#tumblr works wayyyy better on my recently acquired school ipad than on my phone so i start using it more > summer between 7th & 8th grade i#consider throwing myself out of a third story window > 'wait. who will tell my tumblr mutuals that i'm not ghosting them. i just died.#no one knows my password and i don't want to be rude' > i close the window > i'm still alive to this day#romeo.txt
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bpd has been kicking my ass so bad these past two or three weeks but today is just
#Oh what is it brain?#Everyone I know secretly hates me and is gonna leave me sooner or later?#The things I enjoy and love annoy everyone else and I shouldn't share anything ever because I'm either gonna annoy them or be ignored?#I act and look like a joke and I'm not trans enough?#The best I can ask for is for people to tolerate my presence?#And people don't wanna invite me out or hang out with me on PURPOSE?#Oh wow okay I didn't know that! Let me smoke a pack a day and cry my eyes out that'll help 👍#Don't worry tho I'll be fine eventually this comes and goes#Just gotta suck it up and beat the paranoia back into the back of my mind where it belongs with a baseball bat
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