#not This Love by Taylor Swift coming on my playlist as I'm going back through all these old posts ;_;

[whumptober]

WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST

Welcome to Whumptober 2024 — Seventh Time's a Charm!

Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

This year's playlist can be found here.

The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.

And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.

We’re very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2024 Prompt List

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK

Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 12: STARVATION

Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD

Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST

Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

No. 21: BODY HORROR

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 28: DENIAL

CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

Alternatives List:

Body Swap

Communication Barrier

Finding Old Messages

Forgotten

Friendly Fire

Motion Sickness

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Regret

Secrets Revealed

Shivering

Survivor's Guilt

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

Event Info & Rules

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is “flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an ‘old flame’ - an old relationship. It’s truly down to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:

#whumptober2024 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#altprompt …..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)

#fandom or #OC, …..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.

Frequently Asked Questions

Please read this before you send an ask!

TIMELINE

July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. It’s up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.

PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION

Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this year’s prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? We’ll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if you’re writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, it’s okay if that fic isn’t finished by the time October ends, you’ll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though it’s only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

PROMPTS

Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you don’t like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a character’s mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as you’d like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you don’t have to produce 31 separate works.

WORKS

Q: What’s whump? Hurting a character, whether that’s physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if it’s whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic “whumpee,” OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything we’re not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, it’s fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.

POSTING

Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a day’s themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. We’ll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, that’s fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (don’t out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).

Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!

[cherry-romper]

Loving You Sounds Like a Song

Playlist

+ Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Iida, Momo, Jirou, Mina, Ochaco, Asui, Mirio, Amajiki, Aizawa, Hawks, All Might, Dabi, Twice, Compress, Shiguraki

Midoriya; Head over Heels - Tears For Fears

I wanted to be with you alone

I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?

Something happens and I'm head over heels

One little boy, one little man - funny how time flies

Bakugou; Everlong - Foo Fighters

I've waited here for you, Everlong

Come down, And waste away with me

Breathe out, So I can breathe you in

And I wonder...if everything could ever feel this real forever.

You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

Todoroki; Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Rey

Give peace a chance, Let the fear you have fall away

Say yes to heaven, Say yes to me

If you go, I'll stay, You come back, I'll be right here

And if you fight, I'll fight

I've got my mind on you

Kirishima; Lover - Taylor Swift

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Kaminari; NEON - DPR LIVE

Your kisses make it go neon

Neon, I want to know you

Neon, lose the night with you

Girl, I'm liking your body, but more than that I love your, uh

Colourful smile, you make me wonder what's under, uh

The way you make the light go blurry

Sero; Coast - Hailee Steinfeld

You the wave upon my ocean, pounding rhythm and motion

Just relax and let the riptide pull you close

Baby, all I wanna do is coast, with you

The starts come down, you drown 'em out

I'm sinking deeper into you

Iida; This Charming Man - The Smiths

Will nature make a man of me?

Why pamper life's complexity, When the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care"

A jumped up pantry boy, Who never knew his place

Momo; You've Got The Love - Florence + The Machine

I know I can count on you

But you've got the love I need to see me through

When my food is gone you are my daily meal

When friends are gone I know my saviour's love is real

Jirou; Wait a Minute! - WILLOW

I'm here right now, with you

I'll run my hands through you hair

You wanna run your fingers through mine

You left your diary at my house, And I read those pages, Do you really love me, baby?

Mina; DESERT EAGAL - Beyonce

Soft to the touch, let you hold somethin'

Soft kisses on some fat lips

Put on a show and make it nasty, Desert Eagle in the backseat

Oh, I keep it classy, let you love me like a lady, yeah

Ochaco; Strawberry Skies - Kid Travis

Girl you brighten up my world

Cant you tell I want you by my side?

We're gone with the wind, Hair in your face, Put my hand on your waist

Strawberry skies, all on your lips, 'cause I love how it taste

Hope that you catch me when I fall

Asui; Honey - Kehlani

I like my girls just like I like my honey, sweet, A little selfish

'Cause I'm a beautiful wreck, A colourful mess, but I'm funny

All the pretty girls in the world, But I'm in this space with you

Don't walk away, or would you wait for me?

Isn't love all we need? Is it love?

Mirio; I can't Help Myself - Four Tops

You know that I love you, I cant help myself

I love you and nobody else

Leaving just your picture behind, And I kissed it a thousand times

When you snap your figure or wink your eye, I come running too you

But every time I see your face, I get choked up inside.

Amajiki; Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish

But in my dreams I seem to be more honest, And I must admit, you've been in quite a few

But you're all it takes for me to break a promise

Silly me to fall in love with you

Midnight for me is 3AM for you

I was good at feeling nothing, now I'm hopeless

Aizawa; Adore You - Harry Styles

I get so lost inside your eyes, Would you believe it?

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

I'd walk through fire for you, Just let me adore you

Hawks; Where u Goin' Tonight? - Mac Ayres

Just don't stand so close to me... Unless tonight, you'll be my only

All of the things I tried to keep low, Feeling like I been changing

Tell me where you goin' tonight? I'll meet you there if that's alright

Could I be the one to do the things that you like?

Burnt all my bridges, baby, But at least I'm staying warm

I been working on forgiveness, Said I don't think its catching on

All Might; I Was Made For Lovin' You - KISS

Tonight I wanna give it all to you

'Cause girl, I was made for you, And girl, you were made for me

Can you get enough of me?

Feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild

Dabi; LET THE WORLD BURN - Chris Grey

It's dangerous 'cause I want it all, And I don't think I care what it costs

I shouldn't have fallen in love, Look what it made me become

And I know you think you can run

But I just cant let you go

I'd let the world burn, Let the world burn for you

This is how it always had to end, If I cant have you then no one can

Twice; Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil

There ain't a think that you can do that's going to ruin my night

This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy

Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway

Ill burn your name into my throat

What's so good about picking up the pieces?

Mr. Compress; Never Ever Getting Rid of me - From Waitress

I will never let you let me leave, I promise I'm not lying

I'm gonna do this right, Show you I'm not moving, Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow

I'm gonna love you so, You'll learn what I already know, I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me

Shigaraki; No Mercy - DeathByRomy

My boy hates everybody but me

He's sinister, but to me, he's sweet

In love with a monster, Daddy thinks I've lost it

My boy's a bullet in your brain, I show no mercy

Your nightmare is the man of my dreams

It turns me on when he makes you bleed

[delusional-day-dreamer]

First. Love. Part¹ - p.b

playlist. next part.

‣ paige bueckers x oc (reader?, tbh i'm not sure how it works!)

‣ wc: 1790

‣‣ synopsis: people say in life, you have your FIRST love and your first LOVE, but what if paige was both?

‣‣‣ a/n: y'all i'm SO SORRY for my inactivity, summer classes and morning practices are awful. i promise i will try to release more fics on a more regular basis. For the sake of the FICTIONAL story, pazzi simply does not exist, they are best friends but denied the rumors during azzi's freshmen year and she has a boyfriend. Songs that are underlined are linked to tiktok covers just because I love them!

Us Weekly : Tuesday June 13th, 2023

Just this friday, upcoming singer-songwriter Jenna Smyths performs her own song, Means Something and an instrumental cover of Holy Ground by Taylor Swift at BBC Live Lounge to introduce her soon to be released debut album, Eternal Us (not my most creative moment I know 😔). The young singer has just graduated from UCLA after completing her three-year Bachelor's Degree with a double major, her focus being Business Economics with a minor in Film, Television, and Digital Media.

This Friday was Jenna's first televised performance, and her constantly sold out small-venue concerts have been applauded all over social media and by celebrities for her vocal maturity, depth and intricacy within her song lyrics, and her ability to convey raw emotion through her performances. However, this song cover was announced by the singer-songwriter to be particularly special to her, as she mentions that this song "brings back specific memories".

The twenty-one year old kept her composure throughout both songs, yet fans on various media platforms have pointed out Jenna's seemingly tear filled eyes during Holy Ground. The artist addresses the emotions she felt during the song during her first appearance on the Jimmy Fallon Show after performing her first released single, Promise, which is prominently featured as it’s one of her most popular singles.

The Tonight Show: Monday June 12th, 2023 "Please welcome to The Tonight Show, Jenna Smyths," Jimmy introduced you as you walked onto the set of the show, the live audience cheering loudly as you took your seat on the couch.

"Thank you so much Jimmy, it's such an honor to be here, sitting on this sacred couch," you joked, bringing some of your recently curled hair over your shoulder in hopes of disguising any traces of anxiety the crowd or camera may pick up. Thankfully, it worked as you heard the stir of laughter on set, allowing you to relax further into the couch, it actually was quite comfortable.

"It's incredible that we have you sitting here, I mean almost two years ago you blew up on TikTok for your incredible song covers, and then you started playing live in a bunch of LA venues, then you started releasing your own music, and now you're a UCLA Alumni sitting here," as he summed up your rise to fame, the audience began another round of applause.

"Oh my gosh I know right," you giggled, overjoyed that the audience was showing so much support towards you and that your first big interview was going so well. "I swear it was like two weeks ago I was singing on TikTok and then freaking out about my notifications and somehow I just teleported here," you laughed off the slight tinge you felt in your heart.

College had gone by far too quickly, and you were constantly consumed with stress regarding your future. Up until a few weeks ago, you had no idea what you were going to do with your life. What if your album flopped? What if you never made it big? How would you move on and get a regular job from there?

"Yes yes, I remember seeing some of your earliest covers on tiktok. In fact," a smirk appeared on his face, he clearly had something hiding up his sleeve. "We just so happen to have a little video edited together of your old covers, for old times' sake just to show how far you've come," he laughed at the nervous expression on your face and the crowd's enthusiasm.

"Oh god, some of those are from questionable times," you mumbled, raising your right hand to slightly cover your mouth as the video played.

Clips of you singing in your old college apartment bedroom appeared, switching in between guitar covers and piano while singing Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, We Can't Be Friends by Ariana Grande (yes pretend it was out at the time), Bags by Clairo, to the Man Who Can't Be Moved, and a few others. You watched your younger self, heartbroken and healing, singing songs to post on the internet just for your friends to watch, and yet somehow your voice had reached millions of people.

"Well you can see it here clear as day folks, Jenna has clearly always had a knack for those gut-wrenching songs, the ones that make you wonder if you're depressed or the artist is just incredibly good at what they do," you knew he was introducing your live performance with this, sneakily rubbing your sweaty palms over your jeans. You weren't nearly as scared as your BBC performance, but the combination of fear and adrenaline before any performance was overwhelming compared to logic at times.

"So what do you guys say, because I think we need to hear it live to determine which one it truly is," the small crowd erupted at Jimmy's rhetoric, eager to watch your performance.

"Well when you ask so nicely how could I ever refuse Jimmy?" You grinned, standing up to make your way over to the performance area with the live band.

With your guitar in your hands, you let the unique sense of calmness and security wash over you as you adjusted the mic in front of you. Music had always been one of the biggest parts in your life, and even know it never failed you. Not in your best moments, and not even in your worse.

"This is Promise from my new album, Eternal Us, out June 30th"

***Post-performance part of the interview***

"Jenna, you know I have to ask you this, because so far the songs on your album, your covers, and even your performance at the BBC Live Lounge were all fairly depressing songs," Jimmy insists. The two of you had been joking and answering the interview questions with a sense of ease after the performance aspect of the show. The audience was eating up the playful energy the two of you seemed to have, despite the twenty-seven year age gap.

"Please, ask away Jimmy," you quipped, enjoying your time on the show. The steady laughter from the live audience had long soothed any remaining nerves. Growing up, you always felt as if you were born to perform, and this type of live interview was right up your alley.

"And I swear I'm being serious with this, but does the emotion in your music affect you the same it affects your listeners? Because after your cover of Holy Ground aired, you blew up on social media even more then you were before. But one of the things your fans noticed was that it looked like you were gonna cry?" Jimmy inquired, you could hear small murmurs from the audience section at his question, no doubt intrigued to hear your answer.

"You know Jimmy," you began, "Honestly it was just a heat of the moment kinda thing. Like obviously I changed the song in a different key and sang it that way intentionally you know? Taylor is known for her ability to write the most gut-wrenching lyrics and then syncing them up to a catchy beat in a pop song and boom, it's a hit," you explained to both him and the crowd.

"But when I was offered the opportunity to go on BBC Live Lounge and I was trying to decide what song to cover, the lyrics of the song just really stuck out to me in a personal way and I wanted to convey to my listeners the emotions I felt reading and experiencing the lyrics, not listening to it as an upbeat pop song. But don't get me wrong, it's an incredible song just the way it is!" You ended your ramble enthusiastically, trying your best to not delve into the deeper emotions laced within your statement.

"Of course, I mean it was your first televised performance and to a Taylor Swift song no less, but this song has a very meaning to it, unlike some of Taylor's other doctorate-level essay worthy songs you could spend hours analyzing," Jimmy jokes, lightening the mood as always before asking the hard hitting question you had been dreading the entire interview.

"Why did you choose to sing a song about reminiscing of a past relationship, an ex lover if you will. I mean, a good majority of your songs follow the heartbroken post-breakup theme, but the media isn't aware of any relationships you may or may not have had during your time at UCLA, was there someone before?" He questions.

"You're right, I didn't have any actual relationships while at UCLA. My only serious relationship was during my last two years of high school, and a lot of my songs I'm releasing now were written during that time or even earlier, I've just polished them a lot. And of course, my earliest covers are from my freshman year of college, so the wound was still pretty fresh you know?" You skimmed over the topic, keeping the discussion as light-hearted as possible.

"Oh my god, all of that was from one person?" Jimmy jokes, unaware of how hard his statement hits home for you.

"Yeah I mean, I guess your first love will just do that to you, you know?" You joked back. You refused, refused, to let Paige Bueckers affect you in this way on national television. It had been three years for god's sake, you needed to get a grip of yourself.

"Well, they must have been one heck of a first love to be such a long-lasting muse for you," Jimmy pried, and you could tell he was waiting for you to give more details about your relationship.

"Nah nah, cut the cameras, I think we're out of time for tonight right," you nervously laughed, jokingly leaning over to gesture in an over the top manner to the camera crew to stop filming, which roused hefty laughter around set at your antics.

"Don't worry Jenna, we'll leave that topic for next time yeah?" Jimmy chuckled at your immediate refusal, using his perfected charm to continue the interview without any bumps or awkward conversations.

Before you knew it, the interview had been long over and you were laying in your hotel's bedroom. In your opinion, the NYC suite was luxurious and was far too large for just one person to reside. But fortunately for you, you were used to the sense of loneliness you felt in the empty room. To think that you were only a few hours away from Paige, your first love, your first everything, and yet you had never felt more separated from a person you used to love with your whole being.

Thank you for reading all the way through! Part 2 of So High School will be out soon I promise, this series just happened to randomly inspire me and I want to finish it asap before I lose motivation or hit writer's block!

[nikkisheep]

To Be Alone With You (Part Six)

Anthony Bridgerton x female!Sharma!sister reader

Benedict Bridgerton x female!Sharma!sister reader

Warnings: improper alone time (Ben & reader), sexual tension, me as a writer questioning if I want Ben or Anthony to be the end ship, kissing, male nudity, reader fences Benedict (I know nothing about fencing so I'm sorry if this is bad), semi-smut, handjob, hair pulling

*One of the longer chapters

Summary: You spend more time with a certain Bridgerton brother and start to question whether you could be happy with Benedict rather than Anthony.

Playlist:

Labyrinth by Taylor Swift

If Only by Dove Cameron

Back to the Start by Somo

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey (Maybe not a good choice, just depends)

Tag List: @shealuna , @m-rae23 , @littlepeanut03 , @aellabridgerton @sydney-m, @faatxma , @wildthoughtnananna @uraesthete, @themadhattersqueen, @theroyalmanatee, @urfavnoirette, @budugu, @helen06dreamer, @galactict3a, @imagineme2you. @sabii5, @anehkael, @aesthetic0cherryblossom, @lxovesgy, @lemonwithstupidity, @luvwithau, @stvrdustalexx, @jess4rush, @tallrock35, @msrawog

Not many nights had passed since the ball and you were being invited to the Bridgerton house by Daphne, or at least you thought. The days following the ball had been crazy as you were having numerous suitors calling on you because they thought the viscount had forgotten your sister and set his mind on you. Not that it was completely wrong, but you were not talking to Anthony and would not do so until the wedding which was to be in about a month. Not that you were keeping up for when you would have to walk down the aisle, not in a white dress.

Upon your arrival to the Bridgerton home, you were wandering around the house trying to find something interesting. You wandered to the garden and sat under a tree. The refreshing wind cooled you as the tree limbs were shading you away from the harsh sun. You close your eyes and listen to the sounds of nature. Soon, rushed footsteps and shouts had called your attention and you decided to follow it.

---

Benedict and Colin were fencing, and it looked like Colin was winning this match. Benedict was sweating in his fencing uniform and a bead of sweat slowly drips down the side of his face and disappears under his collar.

"Are you going to just stand there and stare or are you going to come over?" Benedict called out, snapping you out of the trance-like state you were in.

"How long have you boys been fencing?" You ask, shielding your eyes from the sun.

"About an hour," Colin smirked, watching you watch Benedict. "I actually have grown quiet tired."

"Would you like me to take over, Mr. Bridgerton?" You asked, hands folded together in front of your waist.

"Do they teach you girls how to fence during your lessons?"

"No, but I have seen my cousins do it."

"You are quiet aware that fencing is a man's sport, Miss Sharma," Benedict said, pushing you. He knew that you would see it as a challenge and it was, the results were exactly what he wanted.

"Rule number one, Mr. Bridgerton, do not underestimate a woman."

Colin mentions your clothing and you realized that it would be harder to move in your dress. You press your lips into a thin line before deciding to walk to the shed. Once inside, you look through the wardrobe inside, finding a pair of fencing clothes. You pull at the buttons of your dress, slipping out of the many layers, including your corset. Putting on the trousers felt odd but they were quite comfortable, more so than your corset.

Coming out of the shed, you walk to the boys again, pushing the leftover shirt into the trousers. You gave them a twirl and beamed brightly.

"Well, don't they fit lovely?" You smiled.

"Yes...yes they do," Benedict looked at the sky, not trying to hide that he couldn't look at you. Your shirt wasn't completely buttoned and Benedict was struggling not to look.

"Are you all right, brother?" Colin asked, a teasing grin creeping onto his face.

"I am quite well, you need not to worry about me brother."

You move closer to him and press you hand against his forehead and felt his temperature. Your breathes mixed in front of you, your chest was practically pressed against his. Benedict's first instinct was to lean in for a kiss, you were intoxicating to him, but as soon as he went to slightly move, he pulled away.

"Shall we return to fencing?" He spoke into the silent garden.

All while Colin was just sitting on the bench, watching the interaction between his brother and the love of his other brother's life.

---

Colin eventually leaves the garden because the heat nearly made him pass out. As you were fencing Benedict, he kept talking as a distraction, and it was working.

"Darling, are you prepared for the art lesson that I have planned for us?" He asked.

"Can't make it, Mr. Bridgerton," You said. "I have a tea party with Daphne. She sent me an invitation letter."

"That was me," He said, tapping you on your left side.

"Benedict, did you invite me here to teach me art or something else?"

The two of you stepped closer, leaving the fencing weapons on the ground. His hands came to rest on your hips, looking around the garden quickly before turning back to you.

"Did you or did you not come here for an art lesson and nothing more?" He asked, dipping his mouth to the underside of your jaw.

"I came here thinking that I would be having tea with your sister," You gasp when his teeth graze your skin. "Benedict, someone will see."

"Let them see," He said. "You should be mine."

Your head tips backwards as his mouth continues the assault on your neck. You let out a moan and he pulls away, placing his index finger over your mouth, making a shhh-ing sound.

"Quiet darling, do you want me to stop?"

You shook you head.

"Words or I will stop."

"I don't want you to stop, Mr. Bridgerton."

His mouth pressed against yours in a searing kiss, lips moving in sync and his hand moves down to your bottom. He walks you over to the bench that Colin had been sitting and he sat you down, bending down to kiss you, never wanting your lips to leave his. You pull back, pressing your hand against his chest and try to catch your breath.

"Stop...stop, we shouldn't do this," You whisper as his mouth chases yours. He is in a kneeling position and his hand is on your hips, covered by your trousers.

"We shouldn't, but we want to and who are we to deny our desires?" He pants.

"Benedict."

---

Making it to his art studio, you laugh at his rain soaked clothes. You were still in your fencing clothes and your dress was in Benedict's hands. You brace yourself against a table, smiling as your hair clung to your face and neck. You were breathtaking in Benedict's mind. How Anthony did not see how truly beautiful you were was beyond him.

"Shall we get to drawing?" He asked, breaking the silence in the cooler room.

"Yes," You said. "I was wondering if I could draw you?"

He nodded and moved to the couch. You shook your head, motioning him to come over to you.

"How do you want me?" He asked, smirking at the fact that you were watching him with such attentive eyes.

"I want you...right here," You moved him to the center of the room, right in front of the window that was lit up by the thunder and lightening from outside.

You moved to the couch to start sketching him, frowning because you could not get his figure right. You walked to him and looked up at him, your noses nearly touching.

"Does sketching me include you being so close to me?"

"I need your shirt off. I need you naked."

"Why?" He asked.

"So I can get a better view of how your body is shaped."

He slowly starts to unbutton his shirt and shrugged it off. Smirking when he noticed your hand instantly reached out to touch his toned chest. He grabbed your sketchbook out of your hands, placing it on the nearest table, and placed them on his warm body. Your mouth opened slightly at the feeling of him. He felt warm, sturdy, and perfect.

His hand was still on yours and he slowly moved it down his chest to his abs to his trousers. You gasped when he moved your hand lower.

"Do you feel what you have done to me?" He asks. "How crazy you have me feeling?"

You nod. Too dumbfounded to say anything.

He moves your hand back up and then completely off him. He takes the button of his trousers into his fingers and pops it out of the hole. He then slowly moves them down his strong, long legs. He then pulls down his underwear. His cock springs up and hits his stomach. He was big. You could tell that the genes in this family were extremely strong. You shook your head and grabbed your sketchbook, instantly drawing what you saw.

"Is this what you wanted?" He asked, his wet hair sticking to his skin. Water droplets were still falling from his head and dripping down his body. The lightening from outside lit up his entire body, making him look like a literal angel.

"This is exactly what I needed." You walked over to him once again, pressing your lips against his. His mouth opened to allow your tongue entrance, swallowing his moans of pleasure. You were doing that to him. You were making him needy for you. You were making him want you, he needed you.

You grip his leaking cock, slowly moving up and down, feeling the silky skin. He threw his head back in pleasure as your hand stroked him.

"Oh my..." He gasped.

"Is this what you need, Mr. Bridgerton?" You look up at him before grabbing his hair to pull him down to your level. "Is this what you need?"

"Y-Yes," He stutters as he tries to hold in his moans.

"Let me hear you, baby." Your hand starts to get more slick with his pre-cum as he gets closer and closer to his end. He starts to shake in your hands as you speed up your hand. He starts to curse and moans started to spill from his mouth.

"Oh fuck, darling," He moans out as he cums on your hand.

You kept pumping him as he shakes from his orgasm. You slowly come to a stop and look him straight in the eyes as you lick his cum off your hand and moan at the taste, eyes rolling back.

"Oh fuck..." He pants, hair sticking to his forehead.

"I love you," He whispers, you don't hear it and he quickly gathers himself up.

"How was your drawing?" He asked, once dressed. His hands were resting on your hips as he presses a quick kiss to your neck.

"I think I will need to finish it a different day."

[nolita-fairytale]

pov: you're a record shop owner!reader dating carmen berzatto

a/n: i have full intentions on writing this as a oneshot but couldn't get it out in time for valentine's day so i wanted to have fun with a lil headcanon that would require less of my mental bandwidth. anyway, happy v-day carmy cuties!!

dating carmy as a record shop owner would be like:

in my head you meet at The Bear after a bad date. sydney, who you meet in the restroom takes pity on you and lets you sneak out of the back. you catch carmy on a smoke break and ask if you can bum a cigarette off of him. the two of you get to talking and you let him know you own a record store just a few blocks away. "you should stop by sometime."

of course, he doesn't. so a few weeks go by and just when you think there's no way he'll come by, a taller man, followed by sydney, is practically pushing him through the door under the guise of looking for the latest taylor swift record on vinyl.

you shoot the man a look (like there's no way in hell that a place like this carries taylor swift on vinyl but okay) and even though you don't have it, you offer to order it for him. the man, who you learn is called richie, goes to check out the rest of your shop, giving you, carmy, and sydney some time to talk.

you thank sydney again for helping you out. she does most of the talking but ends up inviting you to a movie thing in the park they're going to. you think, at least you'll make some new friends out of this, as you agree to go.

by the end of the hang, carmy finally musters up the courage to talk to you one on one, prompting you to make the first move by asking him out. and you know what they say. the rest is history.

okay so i'm thinking about the beautifuly agony of trying to make the perfect playlist for carmy when you decide that it's time and that you really, really like him. you spend a few days going back and forth over the perfect opener, closer, and what story you're trying to tell with the playlist. it can't be TOO 'i'm absolutely head over heels for you' but you want him to know that you're pretty damn infatuated.

you're pretty involved in the local live music community, so you're almost always going to a show. when carmy finally joins you for one, he's definitely hella anxious about it -- even though it's a smaller venue. but he wants to try for you!

making better memories at the bear beside your lackluster date. the first time you go back, you sit at the bar and get the colorful cast of characters that makes up the restaurant. the second time you go back, you bring your girlfriends for a girls' night and everyone is incredibly impressed by the food, the hospitality, and of course, you're very very cute exec chef boyfriend.

after your girls' night, you head over to your favorite bar, and carmy and syd meet you over there for drinks after their shift. you love the way your lives and worlds have begun to intertwine.

i'm thinking about these japanese-inspired hi-fi vinyl bars that keep popping up around the states and how if you decided to open one, carmy would be able to advise you on opening an entire bar?? OR as the bear expands its hospitality group, you outfit the bar with its vinyl collection.

the first time carmy cooks for you, you have the entire night's soundtrack picked out. you've spent all week thinking about which vinyls should underscore the night and it's filled with good food, great music, and even better sex.

i may add to this later today but wanted to get some of these thoughts out on metaphorical paper!!

[luza-wayne]

why people bother with love.

sawamura daichi x reader

wc: 9.2k

this is the longest fic that i've ever written, omg. i love daichi sm<33

also the story is inspired by taylor swift's song 'mine'! i was listening to it while on shuffle playlist and thought it was so good.

a happy and lovely family.

it's the farthest from what your family was.

all your parents did was fight at every little thing that can be talked through.

it was also the reason why you and your siblings are not close with each other. they hide or run away whenever they're fighting, which means, always.

but, they did tell you once.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

so, just in the past?

i don't understand.

“then, you shouldn't have spent it on useless things!” 

your father's voice made your ears ring. it's in the middle of the night.

they're fighting again. 

this is supposed to be a day for me. i just graduated from elementary school today.

“useless?! you call that useless?!” your mother shouted back.

you decided to get off of the bed and silently walk to where the voices are coming from, the kitchen.

“of course, it is!” your father replied.

“our daughter just graduated and you're saying that buying her a small gift is useless?!” your mother asked.

i knew it. it's about that.

you peeked from the opening in the living room which was connected to the kitchen.

“just tell her ‘congratulations!’ or anything! why bother spending money?! we're not rich!” your father rebutted.

“are you hearing yourself right now, huh?” your mother snickered. “what are you even mad about? it's not even over ¥500?”

“you could've used that ¥500 for something more important! like food stocks or bills!” 

“her, graduating is important! don’t you dare not acknowledge your daughter’s milestone!”

maybe i should just give them back a ¥500 that i saved from my daily allowance? would that stop them from fighting?

“arhg! you and your obtuse actions!” your father slammed the counter with his balled fist.

“what?! you're one to talk! that stupid "friend" of yours who always borrows money from you! where is he now, huh? out there partying and spending the money you lent him! what did he say? "i'll give it back tomorrow!" i never once saw him return the money he borrows, yet you keep on giving and giving him! what are you, a bank?!” your mother snapped.

“shut up!” your father shouted and clicked his tongue. “you always bring that up! you're always like that! i'm tired of you already!”

“guess who's tired of you too?” your mother crossed her arms and stared at your father blankly.

“is that so? then i'm leaving and never going back here!” your father had enough and walked out.

he met your eyes and was surprised for a bit, but he continued walking to the front door.

you looked at your mother.

she still had her arms crossed above her chest, but she clenched her hands tightly and was biting on her lower lip.

“mom, are you not going to run after dad?” you stepped out from hiding.

your mother flinched, but she quickly realized that you must've heard the whole conversation already.

“why would i? it was his decision to leave! i don't care about him anymore! i'm glad i finally got tired of his ass!” she said and went to get water.

what? 

you say that, but why do you look so hurt?

“your hands are quivering, mom.”

as your eyebrows furrowed, you heard the engine starting. you look at the door's direction and run towards it. when you stepped out, you saw your father just hopped on his mini truck.

he saw you running to him. he rolled his window down.

“dad, when are you coming back?” you asked him.

he just smiled achingly at you.

“sorry.” he muttered. you, confused, tilted your 

“don't worry, i'd still be there for you, siblings.” he shortly answered.

“what about mom?” you questioned.

“i don't care anymore. i can't bring myself to love her anymore. sorry.” he said and grabbed the steering wheel tightly. he then said goodbye and drove off.

i don't understand.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

did their love for each other fade away?

i really don't understand…

love…

“why does everyone bother with it if it never lasts?”

why do we need to fall in love, just to experience the anguish of losing the feeling of it?

•••

“hurry! hurry! their match is already starting!” your friend pulls your hand, as you follow her lead.

“okay, okay.” you answered with no enthusiasm.

what am i going to do there anyways? i don't even know the rules in volleyball.

“why are we watching a boys volleyball game in the first place?” you asked her.

“it's our school's team! they can represent miyagi in the spring high tournament, if they win against the team they're playing today.” she said,

okay, still didn't anyways why we should be here.

when you two reached the bleachers, your other classmates waved at you and pointed at the seat they reserved for you both.

the first set just finished when you arrived. you just used the cheering megaphone they handed you and just created some noise as the players walked on the court.

“kageyama-sama, do your best!” you heard your friend scream her heart out.

that answers my question. also, what do you mean, "-sama"? you're older than him, right?

you sighed and just continued cheering.

the umpire blew the whistle and signaled that the second set was starting. you watched as a guy with bowl-cut from the opposing team serves.

your eyes widened a bit seeing how hard he serves, you were so sure no one could receive it.

but, the guy was there to break your thoughts.

he easily receives it, making your eyes widened even more.

as soon as he received it, they ran towards the net and he hit the ball over the other team, earning them the first point of the set.

wow. 

your mouth hangs open.

“h-hey,” you called for your friend's attention. “who was that?”

“who? the one who sets?! that's kageyama! he's a firs—”

“no, the one who hits the ball.” you immediately stopped her.

“oh, that's the captain, sawamura daichi, from class 4. i think he's friends with sugawara too.” she answered shortly, now that the topic is not kageyama anymore.

number 1… that means he's the captain, right?

the match continued and they won the set. they lost the third, but won the fourth.

you were hanging on your seat as the set, supposed to be just 15, goes over to 20 and you cling to your friend tightly as the final whistle was heard and karasuno was declared the winner.

“wah! kageyama-sama, congratulations!” your friend bawled out.

“he's amazing too, right?” you said as you clapped, seeing sawamura receive the trophy.

“of course! he's kageyama-sama's teammate, after all!” she said, still dragging kageyama to the conversation.

when it was time to move out, your friend said she needed to go to the toilet, so you went there with her.

as you two passed the entrance to the gym floor, you saw the black uniforms standing there.

oh, they're here.

“sugawara!” your friend suddenly shouted, calling for your classmates' attention. almost all of them looked in your direction. “congratulations!” she said,

“oh! thanks!” sugawara replied, waving his hand in the air with a big smile.

you thought you might as well congratulate your classmate.

“congratulations, sugawara.” you said, not as loud as your friend's voice, but enough for him to hear.

“ah! (y/n), thanks!” he thanked you.

you two then bowed to them and continued to go to the bathroom, all while your friend celebrated that he got kageyama's attention earlier too.

“okay, i got it already. just go and hurry up.” you shut her up when you reached the comfort room.

you just walked to a close bench to the bathroom and took a seat, waiting patiently for your friend to finish.

“hey,” you heard a voice say.

you're not sure whether they're talking to you or not, but you looked up at where it came from.

“you're…” you started and stood on your feet. “sawamura, right?”

“uh, yeah. i'm sawamura.” he said as he reached for his nape and rubbed it with his palms awkwardly.

“you were so awesome in the game earlier. congrats.” you told him and smiled.

“thanks. i actually think i look unsightly during the game, especially when i'm just running and moving on fumes.” he replied sheepishly.

“well, the fact that you think that and yet you still do it just shows how passionate you are about winning.” you uttered. “still, don't worry. you look cool.” you reassured him.

“really? that's a relief.” he said and sighs relievedly.

there was a few seconds of silence after that and you just stared at each other.

“um… why did you… uhm, approach me?” you asked.

he suddenly gets a bit of tint pink shade on his cheeks, that can be easily missed if you were not looking carefully. maybe the reason, you noticed it also was the fact that his bruised on his left cheeks got your attention.

“well, you see… we won against shiratorizawa.” he started and you hummed. “so, we're already qualified for the spring high, i was just wondering if you'll be watching there too.” he asked.

“why? is my presence needed there?” you confusedly asked, making him chortle.

“for me, it definitely does, haha.” he answered, straightforwardly.

it skipped a beat. my heart just did.

i know these feelings very well. it's the feeling i swore not to follow.

i know where these feelings would bring me to.

“i see. i'll look forward to it then.”

i should've declined back then.

•••

“ever since you moved here, it never got quiet here anymore!”

your old woman neighbor is once again shouting in front of your house. 

she's always there and she always just does it whenever sawamura is at work or out for something. it was easy to know since she knows he's a police officer and the police car is not in the parking lot.

you continued to bite your lower lip. 

trying to stop yourself from shouting back at the old woman was harder than you thought.

the neighbors said she has a mental disorder, but still her voice. her voice can easily break a plate or two.

normally, you would just ignore her until she leaves, but today you're not like those days. your menstruation started this morning, and the blood got onto the sheets, so you had changed it. 

moving around irritates you, but you had no choice but to do the chores, before your husband arrives, since it's just you two in the house and you're off to work today.

speaking of your husband, you looked at the clock and saw the time.

‘where are you?’ ‘your shift should've finished a while ago.’ ‘can you go home already?’

you stared at your phone and waited for him to reply, but he didn't. you just stood up and went to the kitchen.

ah, she left. you thought as you managed to peek outside the window while you walked to the kitchen.

thank goodness, finally.

“guess, i should reheat this.” you muttered to yourself and sighed.

you placed the dinner you cooked, inside the microwave. as you wait for it, you remembered that you haven't looked at the mail today yet.

you hurriedly went outside and opened the mailbox.

“huh?” you were surprised to see the mails filled with bills that needed to be paid.

you groaned as you held the envelopes in hand.

it's the same envelope you receive every month, but somehow these envelopes are more irritating to you right now. 

you just closed the mailbox and went inside. you one by one looked through the mail, while you walked back to the kitchen.

and every time you open one, your mood gets worse and worse.

“huh?! why is it so expensive?!” you shouted at the bill you're holding.

we need to spend our money more wisely, even if we're both working.

*ping*

you heard the microwave's sound go off. you immediately took it out forgetting to put on a mitt or even a pot holder.

“ouch!” you screamed. you hurriedly went to the sink and ran the water on it. “damn, what am i doing?”

“i'm home.” sawamura announced as soon as he stepped in.

he's home?!

“argh! wait–” you speed walked to the main door and saw your husband. “welc–” 

you stopped mid-sentence when you saw what he's holding.

“uh, i saw a friend of mine while on my way home, that's why i was late, so i thought i should get you something.” he said and extended his arms, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

you accepted it, staring at it with a forced smile.

“don't like it?” he asked as he kissed your temple and walked to the living room.

you followed him, still looking at the flowers.

“no… it's just—” you sighed. “you didn't have to buy something this expensive…” you muttered.

“so, you don't like it?” he asked as he took off his uniform.

“no, it's not like that. i'm saying you shouldn't have spent the money on something useless—” you said, but decided to just cut yourself off.

you sighed. “thank you, dai.” walking up to him to hug him.

he returned the embrace, but he knew something was wrong.

we could’ve used the money to pay off our bills instead. you thought as you let go from the hug.

sawamura, puzzled, still decided to just give you a bit of space and not to pry yet. he went to take a short shower, while you prepared the table.

while waiting for him to join you, you looked at the envelopes you were just looking at earlier. your eyes then went back to the bouquet that’s now sitting on the center table in the living room.

you breathed deeply.

am i getting ungrateful for not appreciating his effort on buying that?

you got on your feet and went to get it. 

staring at it, you finally realized how pretty it was. also, it’s your favorite flower.

you can’t remember when was the last time you mentioned to him what your favorite flower was. 

was it when we were on our first date?

you chuckled.

“that guy really knows how to put butterflies in my stomach.”

suddenly, you felt two cold arms wrapped around your waist. you felt him snuggle his nose on your nook of neck.

“dai, stop it. i'm reeking of sweat.” you chortled as you felt a bit tickled by his now growing stubble.

he buried his nose deeper and even inhaled your scent like a man who just regained his sense of smell.

“smells like a pheromone for me.” he replied and lifted you up. 

hooking his arms behind your knees and walking to the table. he sat you down on the chair and took a seat adjacent to yours.

as he was about to scoop rice for both of you, you reached out to his cheeks and gave him a peck. he was taken aback, but then smiled at you. he held your hand on his cheeks and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it.

“thank you for the flowers, dai.” you told him.

“anything for you, babe.” he answered.

maybe i was just thinking a bit too much about our bills. i should just appreciate that he got me these flowers.

…

“mrs. sawamura, please redo this.” your team leader sternly said.

you looked up from your desk and met with an eyes burning and a face that’s barely containing their anger.

“yes?” you asked while your hand was holding the lunch you were about to eat at the canteen.

“there are a lot of inaccurate reports and miscalculated estimates. what are you even doing? do you want our team to lose this project because of you?” she added and slammed the folder on your desk.

“but—” none of those are my jobs though.

i might probably have to add this to my piles of to-do work.

she was about to walk away, when she suddenly looked back.

“and i want them done today.” she said lastly, before walking back to her posts and leaving you with wide eyes.

all of this by today?!

“there’s no way i can finish this today.” you whispered and slumped your back to the chair.

i might need to stay for over time.

as you set your lunch box down on your desk, your phone vibrated. you pulled it out of your vest’s pocket and saw a message notification from your younger sister, who’s in college.

- we’re running out of mom’s medication. - she’s always staring and thinking about a lot of things, i’m afraid it might turn into depression. - and brother’s med maintenance too. - it’ll only last until tomorrow. - we need extra money, but i already used my income from my part-time job to pay off the debts when i borrowed money from my friend to pay for my tuition. she said she badly needed the money. -if you have extra money, can you send us some for your mother and brother? - i’ll try asking someone too.

you let out a frustrated sigh. you grit your teeth and lower your head.

just how bad will this day get?

you repositioned your body. taking deep breaths. you picked up your phone again and replied to your sister.

- no, it’s fine. i have some extra here. i received a bonus yesterday. i’ll send it to you and pay for the remaining balance on your tuition too. don’t forget their meds. let me know how much all in total. thanks for always looking out for them. take care there.

you put down your phone and covered your face with your hands.

well, there goes my bonus. i still haven’t paid for the other bills that i’m supposed to pay for.

“(y/n), you okay?” your workmate asked.

you just nodded and told him you’re okay.

i need to save money.

…

hours have passed since your supposed time to go home, but here you are redoing the whole project that wasn’t even your doing, yet forced to redo so.

“this… is wrong. who the hell put it here?” you said to yourself and immediately fixed it.

thankfully, you are already almost done with it. just a bit more and you can already give it to your team leader. she seemed to stay late too and was working on another project.

that doesn’t mean she should have me revise these mistakes when i wasn't even the one who did it.

“and… there! all done!” you raised your arms in the air and stretched your back.

“finally!” you expressed slumping your body to the chair with relief.

you immediately went to pass it to your leader. she didn’t even bother looking up at you and just said a monotone of “good work, you can go home now.” but, you could care less at this moment, you just want to get it over with and go home and take a bath and sleep.

as you were arranging your belongings, you remembered that you turned your phone off, in order to concentrate more.

you slid your bag on your shoulder and walked to the elevator. you waited for the phone to turn on. you’re the only one inside, so your mind wandered off while waiting to reach the ground floor and for your phone.

should i get a part time job too? ever since my brother got caught up in a motorcycle accident, it feels like money has been slipping out the moment i got them on my hands. 

you heard a ping and the door finally opened, the same time as your phone turned on too. while walking to the door, your notifications got bombed with messages from your husband.

…

- can’t wait to have dinner with you <3 - i think i might arrive a bit earlier than our call time - the chief will let us out early today - i’ll be waiting for you, but you don’t have to rush, okay? - are you on ‘do not disturb’ mode? - okay, you might be busy right now - good luck on your work, i love you

- i just got out, i’ll be passing by the house for a moment to change the car and maybe take a quick shower too - still no reply? :( - don’t overwork yourself too much please - i’ll be driving so i might not see your reply - i love you

- i’m on my way to the resto - i’m so excited haha - i’ll be waiting there for you - i’ll be sure to drive safely, because that’s what you always say when i say i’m about to drive - see you there, i love you

- i’m here already, but no need to rush - i’m just early by half an hour - just let me know if you’re seeing these messages - be safe on your way here, i love you

- hey, it’s been two hours already - are you still tied up with your work? - let me know if i should wait for you or pick you up at your work - i can still wait for you though - please reply, babe - i’m getting a bit worried now - reply to me please, i love you

- i just contacted your colleague - he told me you’re staying overtime to finish some things, but couldn’t you tell me sooner? - i’m still waiting here for about four hours now - i’m going home now - at least reply to me once you’ve seen this

…

oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! i completely forgot about our dinner!

you hurriedly ran to call a taxi, knowing that the train was about to close by the time.

i knew something important slipped my mind earlier! i can’t believe it was the date with my husband!

you told the driver the destination of your travel, while also asking him if he can make it so you will arrive faster there. of course, he said he can’t drive recklessly, but he’ll try to drive faster.

while the taxi driver did his job, you tried to reply to your daichi. you explained that you had your phone off, that's why you didn’t receive his messages. the thing is, your messages are going through but he’s not responding to your message.

gosh, i think he’s really mad. what should i do when i get home? we can just have another dinner. ugh, it’s too pricey. you sighed.

after a few minutes, the taxi finally arrived at the street of your house. you told him it’s okay to drop you off here and paid him. while walking to your house, your stomach churns with anxiety as you might find daichi mad.

as you reached your gated house, you searched for your keys only for you to realize that you didn’t bring it with you when you left the house. you contemplated whether to call daichi and have him open the gate for you or just jump over the gate.

while thinking, you suddenly heard the clicking sounds of the gate being opened. you turn around to see your husband in his shorts and t-shirt. he’s not in his night wear yet, so he must’ve been doing some work in his office, just like what he usually does when he gets some free time after eating dinner, though it usually doesn't take this long for him to do those works.

“o-oh, you’re still awake? i didn’t wake you up, right?” you asked, trying not to make it awkward.

“no.” he flatly said. 

he finally opened the gate and then waited for you to step inside, without uttering another word. you walked to the front door and opened it, going inside. you left the door open for him.

you set your coat on the rack and followed daichi with your eyes as he closed the front door and walked past you after throwing the keys in the bowl. you also saw your keys there.

i knew it he’s mad.

you walked to the living room to see him opening the television and munching on some chips. seeing this, you felt your stomach grumble. you went to the kitchen and found a bowl of some hot miso soup. your stomach felt even hungrier.

but, i need to talk to dai. you closed your eyes and accepted your hunger later.

you were about to walk to where daichi was when he suddenly stood up and went to the bathroom. he also took a towel, so it seems like he’ll take a shower.

guess, i should eat first then.

…

after eating and washing the dishes, since it’s only the ones you eat with anyways, you went to change your clothes hurriedly, in case daichi finishes his shower already.

when you went back to the living room, there you saw him sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television. 

you walked to him and called his name.

“dai.” he didn’t look at you.

“dai. i forgot about our dinner.” you said and took a seat next to him, he looked at you.

i should just explain it to him and get this over with.

“our team leader was being a little bitchy earlier and gave me work i’m not even supposed to do, so i turned off my phone—” you were telling him about what happened earlier, when he suddenly cut you off.

“is it that hard to remember to tell me that you’re taking an overtime?” he stated. staring at you with a straight face.

“huh?” you asked, deflecting his straightforwardness.

“i’m pissed off that you made me wait for about four hours, but i’m more pissed about the fact that you can’t even tell me that you’re having overtime.” he uttered.

it’s like something just snapped in your mind. you know you’re the one who should apologize for forgetting about your date and even making him wait. but, it must’ve been the awful day that you had that’s getting the best of you right now.

“why is it such a big thing to tell you about that?” you asked him with a stress on the word ‘big thing’.

he furrowed your brows and was taken aback by your question. did you really just ask him why is that a big thing?

he stood up and was still not breaking eye contact with you.

“maybe it’s because i’m your husband, (y/n).” he answered back, now emphasizing his words. “of course, i need to know because i get worried why you aren’t back yet when your working hours are already done.” 

you raised your eyebrow.

“if you were that worried, then you should’ve come to my workplace and checked up on me.” you said and then stood up too, facing him.

“i was about to, when your co-worker replied to me and said you already have taken an overtime and possibly forgotten about our reservation!” he rebutted, his voice getting louder.

“then it's good timing! that was a waste of money anyways, we can always just eat somewhere cheap!” you shouted back.

“it’s you who wanted to eat there!” he pointed at you.

“i never said that! it’s you who wanted to take me there!” you told him and took a step forward.

“why are you always pushing the blame onto someone else whenever you're up against a corner?!” he gritted through his teeth.

“huh?! when did i ever do that—” you were about to talk when he talked over you.

and it was when you realized this is going like what happened with your parents.

“you never owe up to your mistakes, i always try to understand you because i love you, but (y/n), i’m a human too! i have a limit!” he started.

“wha—” before you could even finish, he added something that breaks your heart.

“i’m tired of you always being like that!” he said and stormed off to the bedroom.

you stood there in the middle of the living room speechless. 

your world seems to be spinning yet you’re not paying attention to it, you're more focused on the heavy feeling on your chest. it’s so heavy, it feels like your heart has fallen to your stomach and now you can feel the churning of it too.

your legs felt wobbly, you had no choice but to sit back down on the couch. your hand found its way to your chest.

it hurts here.

your eyesight started becoming watery.

“you’re always like that! i’m tired of you already!” “guess who’s tired of you too?” “is that so? then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

no! stop, stop, stop, stop!

don’t think about what happened to mom and dad!

“then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

stop! please!

you know daichi won’t leave you, right?!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t.

…right?

i just have to apologize—

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

no…

i still love daichi!

stop thinking like that!

with all these thoughts, you didn’t even realize how much you’re crying, but somehow not making any sounds. your body is still adapted to your childhood habit of immediately covering your mouth and nose when crying in order not to let anyone hear it.

it’s a habit that started the night you realized that you’re the reason why your parents have broken off. if you didn’t ask your mother for a gift that day, then there might be a chance that your family is still together.

your body slid and now you’re lying on the couch sideways, still covering your mouth and nose.

i still love daichi.

but, daichi’s tired of me already.

i knew love never lasts, but i thought it might be different with daichi. i was too naive to think love would treat me differently than my parents.

everything comes and goes.

in the end, it was a cycle.

not the love, but what happened with my parents’ love story and mine.

it will never last. love is.

…

waiting for a bit until you stopped crying, you picked up your coat again and put it on. you were about to take your keys, but realized you don’t need it anymore. before leaving, you remembered one thing. you walked back to the living room and took off your ring, setting it down on the table, all while holding back your tears again.

daichi’s the type to sleep his anger until he calmed down, so you didn’t have to think that he might pop out suddenly and ask you where are you going.

you have already booked a taxi to take you somewhere that might not be a safe haven for you, but still has a deep hold to you.

“can you take me here?” you said to the driver and he said he can and then quietly drove you there.

you turned your phone off to avoid someone calling you. you slept on your way there and when you felt the car stop for a bit too long, you immediately opened your eyes. a bittersweet smile appeared on your face as you stared at the house from the window.

you thanked the driver and hopped out of the taxi. you stood in front of the house unlighted because it’s already midnight, though to you it looked more gloomy rather than creepy.

one of the rooms is still with lights on, you grabbed your phone and messaged your sister. a few moments later, she was out of the house, wearing her pajamas, surprised to find her sister out of the house in the middle of the night.

as much as how surprised she was, she knew it was out of ordinary for you to show up in front of the house on a random day. she knew you had your reasons, but never forced you to tell her about it. it’s not like you’ll travel for about three hours just to visit them, just because you thought about it, what’s more it’s in the middle of the night.

she helped you get your room ready, she can see from your eyes that you needed to rest your body and mind. when it was already done, you thanked her and encouraged her about the plates she’s finishing, that's why she’s staying up late.

you laid on your bed, the same bed that has been with you with everything. it is nostalgic to think about the memories, but you can’t help but think about those times where the family is still complete and somehow you are acting like a real family.

“i’m back. you’re seeing another pathetic side of me.” you muttered to yourself, referring to the bed and realized that maybe it’s the whole room too.

you turned your eyes to the pictures stuck on your walls. your lips quivered again as you stare at the picture you put up in the past of you and daichi when you had an aquarium date. 

it’s a picture of you two kissing that was perfectly photobombed by a large stingray, that made both of you look like you had wings.

“why do humans fall in love? it hurts my heart, yet i can’t stop loving the man i married.” you uttered as a tear fell out of your eyes.

you were about to close your eyes, when suddenly you heard a knock on your door. you looked up and stared at it, thinking it could be your imagination. again, three knocks came. you immediately went to get whoever it was. did your little sister forget something? or did you?

opening the door, you were greeted by your mother in a wheelchair. smiling up at you.

“i knew it. you came home, i see.” she said, still smiling affectionately at you.

“mom, why are you still awake?” you asked, kneeling in front of her. you held her hand and returned the smile.

“i was asleep, but i woke up when i heard your bedroom’s door being opened.” she explained and tapped you, asking you to stand up.

“huh? ah…” you were puzzled by what she said, but then remembered it.

“your door lets out a peculiar sound every time it opens and closes, right?” she chuckled and pointed at your balcony. 

you went behind her and pushed the wheelchair to your balcony, the breeze was chilly, so you went to your dresser and looked for something thick to cover your frail mother’s body. you came back with a jacket, and wrapped it over her shoulders while she was staring at the star-filled sky.

“it’s beautiful.” she spoke. 

you looked up and truthfully, it was beautiful but you were not in the mood to admire them. you just answered her with a simple, “yeah.”

for a moment, it was quiet. the only sounds you’re hearing are the sound of the wind brushing against the trees and leaves and the sound of the crickets.

it was quite, you thought it would be okay to just stay like this, but you know somewhere someone would speak up. it was your mother who did.

“did something happen at your house?” she finally asked the same question your little sister wanted to ask but decided not to.

you tried to stay quiet, but you were aware you have to, sooner or later, need to tell them the reason rather than keeping them in the dark.

and yet, you can’t find the courage to speak.

your mother smiled.

again, it was quiet. 

for a few minutes, it stayed quiet. actually, you think it might actually go until half an hour. half an hour of letting the noises of nature fill both of your ears, half an hour of feeling the cold blow of the midnight wind on your skin.

you looked down at your mother and noticed that she’s just staring at something far. it was like her mind was occupied by something.

“mom,” you called, she answered you by humming, “what are you thinking about?”

“i’m thinking about your father.” she said lightly.

you were surprised. the topic about your father was like a forbidden one, you and your siblings never talked about your father when in presence of your mother, yet she just told you that he’s running in her mind right now. 

i thought she hated him.

“why?” you asked.

she smiled weakly.

“i’m thinking that if i followed him back then, maybe i would be happy right now.” your eyes widened.

she still remember that? and… she regrets not running after him? but, he’s…

“i thought you said you didn’t love him anymore?”

she chuckled.

“i thought so too.”

…

it’s saturday and almost four o'clock in the morning, daichi was woken up by his alarm clock, he forgot to turn off before sleeping. it was already weird, because usually he never hears it. it was you who got woken up by it first and then turned it off. after that, you’ll be nudging him and even getting on top of him with your whole body to wake him up.

his body feels so tired. he stretched his arms out, only to feel the cold sheet next to him. he sprung up on his ass. 

“where is—” 

he shut his eyes tight when he remembered what happened last night.

“damn it. i decided to sleep again while i’m mad. i should stop doing that. she doesn't like it either.” he muttered as he got off the bed and stretched out his body.

he went outside the room to get water and find you. he searched the living room with his eyes, but he didn’t see you, he walked to the kitchen and you weren’t there either.

maybe in the bathroom? he thought and his feet dragged him there.

no. you weren’t there.

at this point, he was ignoring the thumping sounds of his heart. there’s no way you did what he’s thinking… right?

he went outside, even though he knows himself it’s ridiculous, to see you watering the plants. but, still there’s no sign of you.

he went back inside and searched every room, but still no one jumped out and said that you were just playing hide-and-seek with a just-woken-up him.

where were you?

he went to sit on the couch. short and fast breaths taking over his lungs.

please just tell me you went out to jog. or that you went to shop this early in the morning. anything that could be outrageous to do at this time you can do it and he wouldn’t even laugh. just show up before his eyes and calm down his heart getting scared minute by minute that he might’ve ruined everything last night.

“where are you, baby? please, just this once let it be a joke.” his said with a shaking voice. 

he looked down and finally saw it. the ring you left, before you went and left the house.

daichi laughed. 

“now, if this is a nightmare, i fucking hate it, haha.” he laughed as he picked it up with trembling fingers. 

it wasn’t happening. if he closes his eyes and opens it again, he’ll find you sleeping soundly beside him.

but it didn’t.

he clutched the ring in his palms as he wobbly stood up and went to the bedroom to get his phone. maybe if he calls you and apologizes, he can fix this relationship.

but, it wasn’t going through.

“did she block me already? please don’t. i’ll apologize for everything i did and said. just don’t leave me.” he muttered, shaking voice and tears finally escaping his eyes.

he kissed the ring, before deciding to get on his feet.

he’s not letting this relationship end, if he had to eat dirt for you to forgive him, he’ll go out of his way to search for the dirtiest mud and eat it for you. 

he checked the closet. his line of work will become handy to him, but he didn’t think that it’ll be useful in this way. you didn’t take any clothes with you. so, there’s a high chance that you’ll go somewhere you have a stock of clothes with them. but, the friend you’re always staying over whenever you have a girl’s night, is out of town right now and the other is attending a party just like what you’ve told him.

as much as he doesn't want to say it, he knows that you’re trying to save money, so you probably won’t stay at a hotel.

he picked up his jacket, phone and wallet.

he knows the only place where you could be.

…

“you thought so too?” you repeated.

“i thought i was tired of him, that i didn’t love him anymore.” she said, “but, i was wrong.” she added.

how can you love someone who hurt you just by thinking about them?

she looked up at you and smiled.

“i realized, i was not tired of loving him.” she looked forward again. “rather, i was tired of our fights. i was tired of always exchanging shouts with him, but i never stopped loving him. ever since that night, never a day passed that i haven’t thought about how i should’ve run after him and told him not to leave me, us.”

your lips quiver while listening. you always made sure not to talk about your father thinking that your mother would hate it, not knowing that everyday she reminisces about their relationship.

again, she looked up at you, but now with a warmer and larger smile.

“so, i thought once i get better, i’ll try and win your father back, even if it took too many years, haha.” she happily said, before looking back in front.

you weren’t able to contain it anymore, you shed a tear for your mother. you bend down and hug her from behind. she was startled when you suddenly wrapped your arms around her, but still caressed her daughter’s head, just like how she used to whenever she cries in her arms. you were happy to see your mother’s genuine smile, a smile that isn’t forced, a smile that isn’t there to show that she’s okay, so you don’t have to worry. you were happy, but you can’t help but cry.

knowing damn well that your father has already married someone else and is having his third child.

you know that and yet, you can’t tell her that. you don’t want to. not when she just finds inspiration to be well again.

but, you didn’t expect to hear what she said next.

“your father… he already found someone else, didn’t he?” she suddenly said that it made you freeze.

you felt wet drops on your arms.

“i-i— he—” you wanted to lie, but can’t bring another heartbreak to your mother by lying.

“i know, because you’re my child.” she sobbed and tears fell out of her eyes like waterfalls. “and i know, because that’s just the man i knew and loved.”

you went in front of her and hugged her by her waist, bawling like a little child.

“sorry, sorry, sorry, mom… it was my fault… i’ve always known it was because of me… if i didn’t ask you for a gift, maybe he would still be with us… mom, i’m sorry… because of me… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… please, forgive me…” you cried and cried, begging your mother for forgiveness.

your mother who is also crying, but still manages to wipe your tears, nods her head with everything you say to let you know she’s listening. 

you kept on apologizing to her and she listened to everything. when you ran out of breath, she took this chance to calm you down. 

“(y/n), look at me.” she said as she cupped your cheeks, you looked at her with a messy face and probably snot coming out of your nose. “never have i ever thought that it was your fault. your small gift was not the reason we ended the relationship. i didn’t know that you’ve always carried the guilt on your back thinking that it was your fault. i’m sorry for never noticing.” she affirmed.

“it was not your fault, (y/n).”

this made you teary again.

“mom… thank you…” you cried to her as you held her hands that were on your cheeks. closing your eyes to feel the warmth of her palms in the coldness of the breeze.

“with that said, (y/n)...” she called. you opened your eyes and saw another of her real smiles.

“don’t make the same mistake as me.” 

it was a short sentence, yet it rang your ears so loud, you can’t hear anything else except that.

your lips showed a smile, a quivering and forced smile. your tears never stopped dropping, actually your eyes produced more.

“i’m sorry, mom. but i think i already did.” you cried, resting your head on her thighs. “it wasn’t your mistake that i’ve committed, but dad’s.” you added.

“i ran away.” you hiccuped, “i thought everything would be the same, so i ran away. i was scared to face it.” 

your mother made you raise your head. your eyes are red from crying so much and yet you felt like you haven’t let everything out. your chest still feels heavy. you want to cry everything out, but thoughts fill in double with every tear that escapes your eye. you just want to cry it out, but the longer you cry, the more it hurts.

“mom, what should i do?” you asked her, looking up at her. sniffing and catching your breath.

“i…” you stopped to inhale. “i love daichi, but i’m scared. what if it's all temporary. what if our love fades?”

“it was my fault. it’s always been my fault.” you wiped your eyes with your hands, only to be replaced by another one. “i… i don’t want to leave him, mom…”

“dear, calm down.” your mother squished your cheeks. “i’m sure you realize that whatever you did to your husband was wrong, but you don’t have to worry.” she said, making you confused.

“i was the one who ran away… what if he didn’t run after me?” you asked.

“then you’ll be the one who needs to go back to him. you need to talk it out.” she ran her hands on your hair. “you wouldn’t want to turn out like me, right?” she muttered, giving you a relieved smile. 

she knows that you already know what to do and that no matter what happens, deep inside you, you didn’t want to be something you saw happen to her and your father. she must’ve been subconsciously aware that you were afraid to fall in love. she saw when you looked at others with partners, not with an envious eyes, but rather a confused one.

she realized just now, that she might have been the reason why you think like that. with what turned out to be your mother and father’s relationship, maybe it’s understandable why you thought love fades along with the relationship. but, you’re wrong. after all, look at her. she will always love the man that was with her for most of her happiest moments. she’ll never stop loving him.

but, she knows it’s different for the both of you.

because, she saw something in daichi that your father has never done and never will. she knew from the day you introduced him to her. 

your father never looked at her the same way daichi looked at you whenever you’re not looking.

so, she knows. she knows it won’t turn as tragic as her story.

when she realized, you have already calmed down. you’re still sniffing and wiping your tear stains, but you’ve controlled it.

“let’s go. it’s getting late and you haven’t slept yet.” she tapped your back. you could only reply with a nod. 

you stood up and helped your mother turn her wheelchair around. you helped her get to her bedroom, but before walking back to your room, you thanked her.

“thank you, mom.” you said. she looked at you and smiled. “thank you for being the best.” you kissed her on her forehead and said good nights to each other.

you went back to your room and laid on the bed. you reached for your phone. your fingers fiddled whether to turn it on or not.

in the end, you chose not to. 

you know what to do right now, but needed more courage to commence it.

“i should get some sleep first.” you muttered, your body finally processing the amount of tiredness your body felt yesterday and today.

i’m going back to daichi. i don’t want to lose him.

…

the sun was up and it was hitting your eyelid. you were too tired and sleepy, you forgot to lay out the blinds.

you were about to turn your body to the side, when something was holding you by your waist. you were still feeling groggy, but you paid no attention to it. but, then you remembered you’re in your room, not at your house, but your mother’s house.

you swung your head sideways and saw daichi sleeping next to you. your mouth was wide open and was surprised.

how did he get here this early in the morning?

you stared at his handsome face that was wrinkled by his furrowed brows. you wanted to laugh, because that was his face every time he dreams about a weird but cute creature that he told you about before.. you tried to get out of his chain-like hold. after many unsuccessful attempts, you finally managed to free yourself. 

you sat on the edge of the bed as you felt your throat was so dry after that crying you did. you were about to get up when you caught daichi and started moving his hands.

he’s searching for me. you thought. 

you were on your way to reach for his hands, when he suddenly sprang up with wide eyes.

“(y/n)!” he called out.

you jolted because of his sudden movements. he was frantically rubbing his eyes in order to get that clear view of the room. his gestures made you worry, so you held and stopped his hands from doing so.

“dai, i’m here.” you told him, putting his hands down along with yours. “good morning.”

his eyesight has finally adjusted and you were his first view. 

your beautiful face that puts a blush on his cheeks. your sweet smile that calms his mind. your soft touches that makes him weak.

staring at your face, he realized that he’s not in a nightmare anymore. just like what happened earlier when we woke up for the first time today. you’re here in front of him, greeting him good morning just like always.

he pulled your hands to his face, feeling up the warmth it gives.

“g-good morning.” he replied, his voice cracking up from holding back his cry.

you smiled watching your husband snuggle himself to your hands, but it soon faded when you realized how scared and hurt he must’ve been when you suddenly disappeared.

“dai—” before you could even finish calling him, you suddenly found yourself caught by daichi’s arms again.

he buried his face on your chest and hugged you tight, tighter than he even did before.

“why…?” he muttered, words were muffled, but you can still hear him clearly.

“dai?” you called.

“why did you leave? you could’ve just slapped me. you could’ve just kicked me. you could’ve punched me. you could’ve told me to sleep outside. you can pull my hair, poke my eyes, hit my shin, step on my toes, throw all my clothes, burn them, spend all my money, cut my cards and everything to let out your frustrations and calm your anger, but why? why did you think of leaving me?” he reasoned.

you could feel your clothes getting wet, right where his eyes met your chest. his fingers on your back grasping onto your fabric. you wrapped your arms around his back.

“i was so scared. i thought i might never see you again. i thought we’ll never kiss each other good nights and good mornings again. i thought i’ll never be able to hold you like this anymore.” he continued.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please don’t be mad at me anymore. i didn’t think through what was coming out of my mouth. i won’t ever do that again, please don’t leave me. i love you. you know, i love you so much, right?” he begged, finally looking up at you.

his eyes were filled with tears, just like how you were earlier. his face was desperate for your answer.

“dai.” you started. you pushed him away for a bit to look at him directly. he didn’t want to at first, but still complied with what you wanted, only if he held your hand. he’s scared that you might disappear from him again.

“why are you the one apologizing? it was my fault it all happened.” you told him, he was about to reply to you, but you halted him.

“i completely forgot our dinner. i forgot to message you about staying late to finish my work and i didn’t apologize for both. i got mad when you were only worried about me. i lied about not wanting to eat there and begged you for it.” you continued, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“and you’re right about it. i’m sorry for always dodging to own up for my own mistakes. i was scared that everything might be happening because of me again. i ran away from them, so i will not be blamed for it. it’s a bad habit that i need to work on.” you said, smiling at him.

you raised both of your hands to your chest level.

“and thank you for always understanding me. thank you for being so patient with me. i’m very lucky to have someone like you beside me.” you then went and hugged him.

“i’m supposed to be the one saying it.” you added.

“saying what?” he confusedly asked, but still hugged you back tightly.

“i’m going to be selfish and ask for it. i might be tiring to deal with at times, but please don’t leave me, daichi.” you said.

he suddenly chuckled.

“then that would make us both selfish then, since we're asking for the same thing.” he said before pulling you to his lap.

he sat you down there and wiped some tears that were escaping your eyes. he held your cheek with one hand and yours immediately followed it, holding his below your hands. he angled both of your heads and made your foreheads touch each other.

“i won’t promise that there will never be a fight anymore, but there’s one thing i will promise.”

you smiled when you realized that you know what he’s going to say next.

“i promise i’ll love you for eternity.” you said in chorus, making you two laugh.

you two laid in bed for a few minutes, before going down and eating breakfast with everyone. you ate in peace knowing you learned that maybe even just a little bit, you finally understand why.

the reason why people bother with love.

sometimes you will just find someone who will make you risk getting hurt as long as you get to be with them. sometimes it might not turn out the way you expected it, but sometimes when you overcome it and still be with them, it could be the greatest thing that would happen to you.

sawamura daichi, thank you for making me take the risk.

hope you enjoyed it! stay hydrated you all, it's so hot!

[sunraies]

i need something super soft with buzzcut rafe! like the reader is really down and rafe takes them shopping and then to get ice cream. maybe singing some taylor swift in the carrrrrr?🫣 idk something cute and fluffy like that?🫶🏼 also i hope ur feeling better from ur stomach bug!

I hope this is super soft enough. Sorry it's not long. I'm feeling a lot better from the stomach, thank you, hunny 😘

Shopping trip

Rafe Cameron x Reader

As requested above

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Baby? Let's go out for the day. " Rafe stroked your leg with a feather light touch as it was hooked over the covers.

You'd been off. You couldn't really explain to Rafe what was causing it as you didn't really know yourself.

It could be the fact that you'd finished the book you were recently reading, having to say goodbye to characters that had filled your mind. Or the show you loved on Netflix so much had come to an end. You had watched an old movie that made you feel nostalgic. You had eaten the sweet strawberries in the fridge, and now they were gone. Everything seemed to be weighing down on you.

Even the thought of leaving the coziness of the cotton sheets and the warmth of your love's body so close to you made you want to bottle the moment and never let it go.

"Why can't we just stay like this?" You muttered, head resting on his chest, the comfort of his heartbeat in your ear.

"Because, I want to take my baby out" Rafe kissed your hair "I want to buy her everything she looks at" He paused to add another kiss to you head "Hold her bag in one hand and her hand in the other. Wrap my arm over her shoulders so the world knows she's mine. "

You looked up at him and kissed his jaw "Well how is a girl going to say no to that?"

"She can't" He teased and tilted your head to capture your lips.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Rafe drove you to Kildare, his hand on your thigh the whole time. He squished it occasionally and grinned as you closed your legs. He looked gorgeous with his designer shades and buzzed hair, making his jaw seem so defined.

You turned up the studio as your favourite Taylor Swift song came on from the playlist you selected for the drive. Being out in the sunshine, the breeze on your face through the open window did make you feel a little better.

The moment you felt truly happy again was as Rafe sang with you. Both laughing as you screamed lyrics at each other. Who would have thought Rafe Cameron would sing Taylor Swift with a smile on his face. If you ever told anyone, they think you'd gone mad but anything for his girl. If singing made her happy, that's what he would do.

Once at the mall, Rafe did exactly as he said. He held your handbag in one hand with his arm over your shoulders as you linked your fingers with his.

He also tried to buy you anything you looked at, but you wouldn't let him. You compromised on one outfit and a necklace you loved. You avoided the bookstore and led him to the ice cream parlour instead. Rafe knew your weakness, and if you did get to the bookstore, you would have up with a bunch of new books.

You ordered your favourite flavour of ice cream, choosing a cup instead of a cone as it seemed to be melting quickly, and Rafe copied your order.

As you sat on some benchs outside, you raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought Rocky Road was your favourite?"

"It is, but this is yours. I wanted your favourite." He shrugged.

You smiled at him before carefully kissing him. "Thank you for today"

"You never have to thank me, baby" Rafe said softly before kissing you back.

[rynwritesreid]

Okay, okay, i have an idea. A angsty spencer one shot based on you’re losing me by Taylor swift. Feel free to do whatever you want with this, happy or sad ending 💋

A/N:As a fellow brit, who loves Spencer Reid and had Taylor Swift as her top artist, I am in love with this request. And as some who loves an unhappy ending, I’m beyond grateful you gave the option to make this heartbreaking. I hope you enjoy <3

Also a little side note, I’ve got a job interview for basically my dream job this Wednesday coming :)

Content: GN (i think) reader. Angst, and I mean heartbreaking angst.

| Masterlist| requests are open| Navigation| Playlist|

 

You and Spencer had been dating for around two years. The first year was amazing. You had both found comfort in one another, you would talk to each other about anything and everything.

 

However, as time passed, an unseen tension crept into the spaces between your words, a quiet disturbance that neither of you fully understood until it manifested into the palpable silence that now enveloped the apartment.

 

The apartment was filled with an oppressive silence, broken only by the distant hum of city life outside. It was the kind of quiet that echoed the growing distance between two hearts. You sat on the couch, hugging a throw pillow to your chest, your eyes fixed on the floor.

Spencer Reid, with his dishevelled hair and furrowed brows, stood across the room, both physically and emotionally distant.

 

The tension hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating any words that might have tried to bridge the gap. Your fingers absentmindedly traced the stitching on the pillowcase, a futile attempt to distract herself from the unravelling threads of their relationship.

Spencer finally spoke, his voice tight and strained. "Y/N, we can't keep doing this. It's like we're speaking different languages, and I can't seem to find the right words to make you understand."

 

You looked up, your eyes searching his for some sign of the love that had once anchored them. "Spencer, I'm not asking for much. Just a little more of you, of us. It feels like you're slipping away, and I don't know how to hold on."

 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I have my work, Y/N. You know how demanding it is. But it's not just that. I can't be the person you want me to be. I can't be everything for you, and I can't keep pretending that I can."

 

A tear slid down your cheek as you choked back a sob. "I'm not asking for everything, Spencer. I just need to know that I still matter to you. That we still matter."

 

He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. "I can't promise you that, not when I'm not sure myself. Maybe we're just not meant to be."

 

The words hung in the air, a painful admission that shattered what remained of your heart.

 

You stood, feeling the weight of their broken connection like a physical ache. "So, this is it? We just let go, and that's the end of us?"

 

Spencer closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping with the weight of their shared sorrow. "I don't know what else to do, Y/N. I can't keep hurting you, and I can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not."

 

As you gathered your strength to leave, you whispered, "I guess we're just two fragments of a love that couldn't hold us together."

 

And with that, the door closed behind you, leaving behind the fragments of a love that once flourished but now lay shattered on the floor of what used to be their shared home.

 

~Join my taglist~

 

~Taglist~

 

@nomajdetective @ms-ks-world  @evvy96 @oliviah-25 @starkid024 @emalynvtgtgfhvgg  @krokietino  @julllliiia @xohoneybun  @purplepistachi0  @pleasantwitchgarden  @theillestvillian3 @piperb400 @iluvreid @queermaxwooo @gemofthenight @drspencieee @topguncultleader

[thegracefulknight]

Ciel/Lizzy Playlist

Long post ahead

Okay, so I tried made a list of songs which I think would be perfect for them. ♫ These songs are based from both of their POVs, though it may lean more towards Lizzy's.

Each song is arranged according to how O!Ciel and Lizzy's dynamics progressed through the manga. I also included parts of the song lyrics that highlight their relationship well, or those that resonate with important parts in their story. The first few songs are kinda meh but the last ones are sure to hurt like crazy! xD This playlist has 26 songs btw, so prepare your tissues and cry with me!

Hope you guys give it a listen! ♡

Song List:

1. Sad Song (We The Kings ft. Elena Coats)

—A light, almost fairy-tale like opening highlighting Lizzy and her dreams with R!Ciel. Together with O!Ciel, they are three children living in their happy, idyllic childhood.

"You're the perfect melody, the only harmony I wanna hear / You're my favorite part of me/ With you standing next to me /I've got nothing to fear"

2. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)

— Lizzy's sorrow after the murder of the Phantomhives. She remembers the boy she had sacrificed a lot of things for, the boy who was supposed to be her fairytale ending.

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you / When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too/ And when you're gone /The words I need to hear to always get me through the day /And make it okay /I miss you"

3. Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift ft. Joy Williams & Paul White)

— "Ciel" returns after one month; however, he has now changed. For the sake of the broken boy who returned to her, Lizzy makes another sacrifice, vowing to be a wife that could protect him, and keep him safe.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright / No one can hurt you now / Come morning light / You and I'll be safe and sound"

4. Your Guardian Angel (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

— Despite not wanting to get closer to her initially, O!Ciel finds himself caring for his brother's betrothed. He has protected her time and again, and vows to always protect her at all costs.

"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing / And stars are falling all for us / Days grow longer and nights grow shorter / I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) / I'll stand up with you forever / I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) / Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

5. THE CONTORTIONIST (Melanie Martinez)

— A song where Lizzy contemplates on how she keeps up the facade of being cute for her fiancé because of a comment made a long time ago. This song highlights the moment where she decides she is done pretending to be weak and cute.

"Twisted all my limbs for you / Two of them in knots and two of them in loops / Ribbons tied around like a noose / Wonder if I'll ever get it loose / I don't wanna bruise for you /Holding back my words until my face is blue (Huh) /I don't really care 'bout your crew / You can tell 'em what you wanted to

... I'm done, I'm done /Done doing backbends, I break and I snap / It's no fun, no fun / Pushed myself into a box while you held out a gun /I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah! / I'm done, I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

6. Queen (Loren Gray)

— The theme for the monumental scene where she drops the act and reveals her strength in the midst of the bizarre dolls. For love, the throws away her beauty. Which only leaves the boy beside her struck with awe at this new side of her.

"You can call me a princess all you like / 'Cause you like to keep me helpless by your side / But it ain't what I want, I'ma show you, I'ma show you / How to treat me like a queen /Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

/ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Boy, you better bow down on your knees / Can I get a "Yes, your majesty?"

7. You'll Be Safe Here (Rico Blanco)

— After Lizzy's unexpected revelation, the earl accepts her true self and begins to admire her more.

"Close your eyes, dry your tears / 'Cause when nothing seems clear / You'll be safe here from the sheer weight / Of your doubts and fears / Weary heart, you'll be safe here

... "And though the world would never understand / This unlikely union and why it still stands / Someday, we will be set free / Pray and believe"

8. So Close (Jon McLaughlin)

— The victory party after the second Sapphire Miracle has been memorable, not only for students, but also for the guests. Just for this one night, O!Ciel lets himself enjoy the night by dancing.. with her.

"A life goes by, romantic dreams must die / So I bid mine goodbye and never knew / So close was waiting, waiting here with you / And now forever I know / All that I want is to hold you so close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending / Almost believing this one's not pretend / Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come / So far we are so close"

9. You and I (Tatu)

— A song about the earl and the lady as a reflection of their circumstances, and their wish to protect. And wanting to believe.

"Just a side / To an anguished street, criticized/ For what we believe / If we hide, maybe we can make it through this / Is it fair, to be burned away? / Is it fair, that we live this way? /Victimized, for a life we didn't ask for

No truths to confirm / No lies to deny / Too hopeless to care /We're too scared to cry"

10. Smoke (PVRIS)

— Lizzy thinks she and her beloved have gotten closer, but have they? Somewhere in her mind, there is a small fuse waiting to be lit.

"You're just a ghost of blissful feelings / A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing / An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind. / I see your face, an apparition / But now it's changed / Shape shifting / Don't wanna open my eyes."

11. Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

— Just as Lizzy thought things will start changing for the better between them, small things that went unnoticeable at first are now telling her that something.. still feels not right.

"But there's a side to you / That I never knew, never knew /All the things you'd say / They were never true, never true / And the games you'd play / You would always win, always win"

12. Aoki Tsuki Michite (Book of Circus ED Theme, covered by AmaLee)

— A song where O!Ciel looks back on the choices he made, as he strengthens his resolve to go down the path he chose.

"Praise your palette of lies / For it's a masterpiece that you have created / All of your promises, bleeding in flawless harmony

Sing another spell, paint another dream / We could bring to life a new reality / All of my mistakes, gathering like storm clouds / Will soon rain down on me"

13. I Know You (Skylar Grey)

— Trying to ignore her doubts, Lizzy still continues to yearn to understand her fiancé who has changed and remained distant ever since that month. In her deepest wishes, she pleads to be allowed inside his heart.

"I believe, I believe there's love in you / Gridlocked on the dusty avenues / Inside your heart, just afraid to go / I am more, I am more than innocent / But just take a chance and let me in / And I'll show you ways that you don't know

Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate, Yeah / I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith

So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby / So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby"

14. Demons (Imagine Dragons; covered by Sam Tsui & Kurt Hugo Schneider)

— Despite Lizzy's efforts, the earl remains distant. He has embraced the darkness and his impending end, and the only thing he believes he can do is to keep her at a distance, for more reasons than one.

"They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate / It's woven in my soul / I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how"

15. Leave the Memories Alone (Fuel)

— A song from the earl's POV, as he reminisces the past and how he wishes to keep Lizzy in the light.

"I wanted you.. to stay by the windowsill with the blooming roses."

"So I find me in your garden now / A sad smile for the scene / And all the flowers that we planted now / Taken by the weeds / But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me / They stand tall there, in that summer breeze

Leave the memories alone, I don't want to see / The way it is, as to how it used to be / Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing / And I'll just hold you here in my memory"

16. What Was I Made For? (Billie Eilish)

— Lizzy reflects on her duties as the future wife of the Queen's Watchdog, and her sadness at not being able to help or understand the earl. The growing distance between them makes her feel desperate for answers.

"I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I'm not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for? / Takin' a drive, I was an ideal / Looked so alive, turns out, I'm not real / Just something you paid for / What was I made for?

'Cause I, I / I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try / I don't know how to feel, but someday I might / Someday I might"

17. Empty (PVRIS)

— Desperate to find a way to understand O!Ciel, Lizzy starts going to the Sphere Music Hall. However, what she finds there changes her forever.

"You see I want the world to believe, that there's a light inside of me / But it's time that I'll come clean / I'm not what I seem, no / Some would say I'm possessed, yeah / But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed / With life and death and emptiness, I guess / Can't you see all of the change in me?"

18. My Immortal (Evanescence)

— Lizzy remembers all the sacrifices she made for Ciel. She gave her heart for her betrothed, but now that she realizes her love has been given to two different people, where does her love for one end, and where does it begin for the other? Who does she really love? Somehow, she already knows the answer, and it is causing her anguish over her supposed love. *This song could be interpreted to be directed to both the twins, as Lizzy thought all this time that she was loving one person only.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light / Now I'm bound by the life you left behind / Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams / Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears / When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears / And I held your hand through all of these years / But you still have all of me"

19. Stay With Me (Danity Kane)

— Lizzy is in disbelief after discovering that the Ciel she has been with for the past three years was not her true betrothed. She tries so hard to hold on to the image of O!Ciel, the boy who accepted her, and the fiance she has come to love with all her heart. However, the ugly, undeniable truth is right in front of her.

"I've searched my heart over so many many times / No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night / Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days / You promised me we'd always be / And never go away / That's why I need you to stay

Stay with me, don't let me go / Cause I can't be without you /Just stay with me and hold me close / Because I've built my world around you / And I don't wanna know what it's like without you / So stay with me, just stay with me, stay.."

20. Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)

— Looking back to the times she tried to keep up her cheerful facade and balancing it with her strong side in front of the boy she loved— O!Ciel, Lizzy finally shatters under the grief and heartache of learning his lie.

"I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh/ Every day of my life/ My heart can't possibly break / When it wasn't even whole to start with.."

"...Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything / Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in / Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty / Because of you / I am afraid"

21. Stand In The Rain (Superchick)

— She's mad, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to return to the days where she doesn't know anything, and be by his side. But her duty is to remain here. Heartbroken, mad at herself and filled with guilt, she compensates by staying by R!Ciel's side.

"She won’t make a sound / Alone in this fight with herself / And the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down

She wants to be found / The only way out is through everything / She’s running from, wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain, stand your ground / Stand up when it’s all crashing down / You stand through the pain, you won’t drown / And one day what’s lost can be found / You stand in the rain"

22. Beautiful Girl (Broken Iris)

— O!Ciel's lies, mistakes and choices have finally come to haunt him. He realizes this as soon as his eyes met his twin brother's. And most of all, he finally discovers the reason why Lizzy left.

"Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late / I end this day in a most bitter way / A regretful state but...

I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile. I still remember the way you said "good-bye" / No matter how hard I try I can't forget about /

Beautiful Girl, on top of the world / Don't fall down, because an angel / Should never touch ground.."

23. Never Be The Same (Red)

— The sudden appearance of R!Ciel turns his world upside down. Remaining silent with a darkened expression on his face, a disheartened, regretful earl reminisces his memories with Lizzy

"I can see, I can still find /You're the only voice my heart can recognize /But I can't hear you now, yeah. /I'll never be the same / I'm caught inside the memories, the promises /Are yesterdays and I belong to you. / I just can't walk away, 'cause after loving you / I can never be the same."

24. Broken Inside (Broken Iris)

— Fighting despair, the earl descends further deep into the darkness. He is determined to take back everything, no matter what it takes.

"The thinning line between you and my sanity / Is quickly fading / Takes just a breeze to cause a storm /Takes just a breath to cause a scream / It takes me to cause a tragedy.."

"Until the end of me, I swear / You'll be the death of me / I dare you to cross the line again / Because deep down inside /There's something that waits to be / Broken Inside"

25. The Scientist (Coldplay)

— O!Ciel should have known that this is coming. He knew he lied, and was willing to take this to his grave. But he didn't expect to feel like this when it did happen. If only things have been different..

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions / Oh let's go back to the start / Running in circles; coming up tails / Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy / It's such a shame for us to part / Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard / Oh take me back to the start"

26. Descent Within (Broken Iris)

— Outro; the perfect ending for a story doomed to end in tragedy

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi Louis, are there any plot points/mentions on 9-1-1 that you wish were expanded further on the show (not just Buddie related)? For myself I'm still a little bitter they never mentioned all Buck did during the tsunami.

And when Buck and Eddie get married, what song do you think will be their first dance to? (I already made 3 playlists for them but Strangers by Maddie & Tae makes me go This is so them every time I listen to it. )

Thank you for making scrolling through the Buddie tag so much fun, Carly

ooohhhh im so gald you brought this up bc ive been dying to talk about it—

but in all seriousness i love this question!!

1. plot points i wish were expanded on more

i have a few but im only going to narrow it down to this one because it is something that has always kind if rubbed me the wrong way… but i really wish they could have spent more time exploring Hen’s relationship with her mom. I might be in the minority here, but to me the whole arc of Toni coming back into Hen’s life felt very quick and almost…. too simple? (not that it was simple at ALL but) As a queer person who has had a rocky relationship with my parents, it is always something i love to see portrayed in media more rather than just automatically jumping to the “supportive ally” trope as a way to make a story more feel-good if that makes sense. And i saw the bones for that in the storyline with Hen and Toni, but because of the state of the show at FOX that season i understand why they didn’t make it a bigger deal….. however i really wish they had!

(also i agree them never mentioning what buck did in the tsunami has always rubbed me the wrong way— i definitely feel like they all should have already gotten medals at this point for other rescues in the past so the fact that they only just now are getting them has annoyed me, but im just glad the firefam is getting recognition for something)

2. Buddie Wedding Song

I am kissing you on the forehead for this question bc i love love love love LOVE talking about stuff like this….

This isn’t for their first dance, but i have always loved the idea of Karen singing “At Last” during the ceremony (a la bones, which wasn’t what inspired it in my head but upon further inspection is actually really similar to what i would want their wedding to look like) bc i think the fact that we haven’t heard tracie thoms’ voice on the show yet is a CRIME.

As as far as a first dance song, i love the idea of them dancing to something softer— a couple that come to mind are Love Like This (Ben Rector) and Love Me Tender (Norah Jones). If they wanna cash in on the Adele hype now, i DEFINITELY wouldn’t be opposed to Make You Feel My Love (maybe even sung by Maddie so that we get JLH’s vocals again??). i also could see You Are The Reason (Calum Scott). If they wanted to go the taylor swift route, i could see You Are In Love, Enchanted, or even Daylight (which daylight would admittedly have me sobbing like a baby).

Also strangers by maddie & tae is SOOOOOO BUDDIE…. this wouldn’t be their first dance song, but Friends Don’t is such a quintessential Buddie song to me 👌👌👌

thank you for the ask, and your sweet note at the end! I really loved getting to answer this ask 💕💕

[mieczyhale]

this was so fun!! much thanks to @its-tortle for the tag (as i get to this ages late lmao)

- - - - - - - - - -

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up. (Skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer!)

1. First off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

I love everything, fire's spreading all around my room, my world's so bright, it's hard to breathe but that's alright "cradles" - sub urban

2. What kind of [insert my super secret zodiac sign] are you?

You've got to make a choice if the music drowns you out, and raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth "sing" - my chemical romance

3. You’re visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

Can you feel it? I gotta live with it everyday, I can't take the pressure, I'm going insane "bad religion" - godsmack

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

They say"freak" when you're singled out, the red, well it filters through "red" - chevelle

5. Say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

Take or leave who I am 'cause this is me, like a fish out of water, do I belong here? "pride" - american authors

6. What would you say about your best friends?

Speak to me when all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do "move along" - the all-american rejects

7. Think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

I just wanted you to tell me the truth, you know I'd do that for you "running away" - hoobastank

8. Describe your aesthetic now:

I won't give up so don't give in, you've fallen down but you will rise again "a reason to fight" - disturbed

9. What’s a lyric that they’ll quote in your eulogy?

I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold, but that cycle ends right now, 'cause you can't lead me down that road "mean" - taylor swift

10. And for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you "stuck in the middle" - stealers wheel

tagging:: @deanspillowprincess @penguinsandpanthers @ketterdam-snack-bar @octoberconstellation @starkund-schon and whoever else wants to do it :3

[cherry-romper]

Loving You Sounds Like a Song

Playlist

+ Kafka, Reno, Shinomiya, Iharu, Haruichi, Aoi, Hoshina, Mina, Gen

Kafka Hibino; Stand by me – Ben E. King

I won’t be afraid, Just as long as you stand, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon, Should crumble and fall, Or the mountains should crumble to the see

I won’t cry, No, I won’t shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, Stand by me

Whenever you’re in trouble, won’t you stand by me?

Reno Ichikawa; Look After You – The Fray

My heart has started to separate, Be my baby

There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go

Will you, won’t you, be the one I’ll always know?

I’ll look after you

Kikoru Shinomiya; The Chain – Fleetwood Mac

Damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again

We would never break the chain

Damn the dark, damn the light

Iharu Furuhashi; Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Boys Town Gang 

You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off you

At long last love has arrived and I thank God I’m alive

Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare

I love you baby and if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, to warm a lonely night

Haruichi Izumo; August – Taylor Swift

Whispers of “are you sure?”, “Never have I before”

August slipped away like a bottle of wine

Your back beneath the sun, Wishin’ I could write my name on it 

Wanting was enough, For me, it was enough

Aoi kaguragi; West Coast - Lana Del Rey

You’ve got the music in you, don’t you?

Boy blue, yeah you

You’re fallin’ hard, I push away, I’m feelin’ hot to the touch

You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much

Soushirou Hoshina; Only Love Can Save Us Now – Kesha

The power of Christ compels me, I’m a demon

Keep singin’ “hallelujah” nothin’ can save us

I’m ‘bout to blow your fuckin’ head through the ceilin’

Yeah, I’m possessive, maybe I’m possessed, bitch

Mina Ashiro; California – Lana Del Rey

You don’t ever have o be stronger than yo really are

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

Ill catch you on the flip side, If you come back to California

Gen Narumi; Stronger - Kanye West

Man, I been waiting all night now, That's how long I been on ya'

I need you right now

Play secretary, I'm the boss tonight

Bow in the presence of greatness

[thelaurenshippen]

this month’s mixtape is a ship mix for whiskey/harry from @breakerwhiskey. they might be the slowest burn I've ever written and this soundtrack got me through!

This playlist came together pretty haphazardly at first--initially, I just had a playlist that was my dumping ground for songs that were BW-flavored but didn't belong on the main playlist. This is something I've started to do for projects in the last year or so. It started, as many things do, with creating a "DH Strays" for Desperate Hollow (the queer outlaw story I swear I will get published someday), and then grew from there. For Breaker Whiskey, the playlist is called "delta tune", a reference to the knob on a CB radio that takes you to the off-frequencies. Then I realized a real ship vibe was popping up in a lot of the songs I was choosing and decided to start building this. Why didn't I make a ship playlist to begin with? Well, to be honest, the main Breaker Whiskey playlist sort of was that. Their relationship is so central to the story and Whiskey's journey that I didn't think I needed a separate ship playlist. But, you know, I'm me, so of course I need as many playlists as possible. The thing that really kicked it over the line were the songs that felt like they were from Harry's perspective. 

So pretty soon I had a playlist that was fairly packed full of vibes. I've whittled it down considerably, and created a playlist that I think has a good flow and narrative arc. But that delta tune playlist still has some Whiskey/Harry vibes that are good, even if they didn't fit musically on the playlist: "No Children" by the Mountain Goats, "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift (Taylor's version of course), "When You've Got Trouble" by Liz Longley, "Drive Away With You"  by Jill Andrews, and "Stay" from Lempicka, which I mentioned in a newsletter a while ago - it really is the perfect song for them, but the musical theater vibe just doesn't fit. 

But let's get to the main event! This is a true 8-track mixtape. It is, I think, efficient and satisfying, packing a lot of emotion into 30 minutes of listening. 

1. "Can I Leave Me Too?" - The Greeting Committee 

If you go, can I go with you/if you leave me, can I leave me too?/I'm afraid that I might need you - I mean, this is a perfect song. This was really the song that kicked it off, because this is suuuuuuuuch a Harry song, my LORD. She's the one left behind, but she also doesn't want to fully admit she needs Whiskey and yet she also is trying to morph herself into something that will make Whiskey stay, even if that means withholding information from her. 

I'll never say your name again/if you don't want me - I love this lyric because it works on two levels for me. There's a sense of "if you don't want me I'll forsake you completely" but also a sense of "I don't deserve your name if you don't want me" but THEN, the thing that really gets me is Harry saying "I'll never say your name again if you don't want me to say it", given their whole thing with names and nicknames and the fact that Harry always called her Abigail when she preferred Abi. 

2. "Edge of the Earth" - Beaches 

Again, this song feels like it was written for them. One of them fire, one of them ice, going in circles and never moving forward? It's them.  

Like a race car driving away from the scene/does she want me to stay/does she want me to pack...You push me in circles/to the edge of the earth/where I can't go any further 'till I start coming back to you - I feel insane!! Those lyrics are just too perfect. I also love the imagery of spin me like a globe/and drop your finger on me. I used to love playing that game (but also, in retrospect, why did my parents own a globe?), and there's something about Whiskey and Harry being the ultimate determinants for each other of where they go. 

3. "In My Bones" - 76th Street

This song has just been sitting in my Apple Music for years and years waiting to be put on a playlist. It's in my "rent free" playlist, but was never in an original character or story playlist. And then it popped up on shuffle as I was building this one and it was like, "OH! Here it is!"

Even in the stillest nights you found a way to shake up my life - I love the idea that the two of them were living a pretty peaceful existence in Pennsylvania, quiet and sedate, and yet were STILL torturing each other. 

How do I feel you in my bones, even when I'm alone/the time you spend on my mind, it's like a second home/but I say that I'm doing okay/while I wait to hear a knock at my door/tell me we'll run away

4. "Too Sweet" - Hozier

A late add to this playlist, because it's still a fairly recent song, but come on. I take my whiskey neat? How could I resist. 

I also just love how this is a love song that's sort of...snarky. Like, I don't know that I totally buy that 'you're just too sweet for me!' is the takeaway of the song. To me, the lyrics really describe two very different people who are maybe trying to accommodate each other, or to be some version of themselves they think they should be, but it's not really working. 

You keep tellin' me to live right/To go to bed before the daylight/But then you wake up for the sunrise/You know you don't gotta pretend - both Whiskey and Harry do a degree of pretending around each other, but as they live together, those facades start to wear away. And then the question becomes - are the real versions of each other ones they want?

5. "Any Day Now" - Trousdale

Another great song about trying to live up to someone's expectations. Musically, this song fits here, but narratively, it is to me a very early-days-after-Whiskey-left song for Harry. This idea of "you left and I always let you down but I'm going to be FINE now" even though that's not at all true. And I looove that I know I said is sung by the lead but the accompanying I love you and I need you are sung off to the side like secrets or after thoughts. Because Harry didn't say those things and she just hoped that Whiskey would stay anyway. 

I've been sleeping too much, got a list that I have/yet to cross out, gonna get to it in a while is a perfect contrast to the lyric Since I left I've not been drinking or staying out late/Get up early and I meditate from "Runner's High" on the show playlist, which is very much a Whiskey song. 

But every time I hear your name/it's like somebody hit replay/on all the ways I let you down/I guess I'll be the villain now - I'm normal about Harry listening to all of Whiskey's transmissions and hearing herself be cast as the villain that she absolutely already thought she was. 

6. "Where It Ends" - Hunter Metts

"Ships Passing By" by the same artist is on the main playlist and initially "Threads" by him was on here (I never thought that I could lose you/So I tried/To hallucinate a love that never comes true). But then he came out with this track. 

If this is where it ends/where do I go when you know every part of me - okay, Hunter!!!! Kill us from the opening line!!!! 

Someone that you regret/on the interstate, I felt you getting colder/and I hope you're doing better ever since we were done/I hope you find forever with somebody you love, I guess/but I didn't think it'd cut like this - I think from the beginning - from the moment Whiskey hot-wired a car after killing Billings and drove her and Harry away - Harry felt like any chance she had of something with Whiskey was dead on arrival. I also love the "I guess" here because no, of course you don't really want that person you just broke up with to be happy, not really. 

7. "Everything" - MUNA

This songs makes me fully feral. MUNA is so good at writing universal experiences through laser specificity - the particular mindset of seeing something, anything, and thinking of that one person is such a real and potent thing. This song and the next are two songs that I have listened to on single repeat for quite literally an hour or so. 

Everything's about you to me is really just Whiskey's constant experience in driving around the country. 

'Cause the world could be burning/and all I'd be thinking/is how are you doing, baby? - an insane lyric!!!! Ahhhhh!

I can barely SPEAK about the bridge. I'm only here to tell you that I am eviscerated gets me EVERY time and you are a wildfire and I'm standing in the rain takes my brain completely offline. 

8. "can we start over?" - Charlotte Sands

I'm calling it now, this song is going to be in my top 5 most played songs this year. I think the last three months of this show were written to this song on repeat. And I'm going to do something I rarely do and just...copy out pretty much all the lyrics. Because it does feel like this was written purely to help me write the final act of this story. 

Can we start over?/Can we be strangers?/I could let go of all of my anger/Reintroduce you to all of my secrets/I'll never leave you, this time I'll mean it - UGH. That final line. The promises that Whiskey and Harry have made to each other, the secrets they've withheld. I just love the theme of "let's go back to the beginning, things will be different this time I PROMISE". But, of course, you never can start over, not really. 

We'd be like the movies/Be happy in the end/You wouldn't have to lose me/I wouldn't have to mend/Nothing would be painful/We'd never play pretend/Then maybe I'd be able to let you in again/Don't let me believe in you...I want to believe in you - The contrast between "don't let me believe in you" and "I want to" just kills me. That's really what it comes down to - I can't trust you again, even if you let me, even though I desperately want to. 

Maybe in a different life/Maybe at a different time/What if I was meant to be yours?/What if you were made to be mine? - the constant question. If they had stayed in their primary timeline, if they had gone into a different one, if they're able to get into a different one now, does that make things easier?

I know I've copied out almost the entire song but the lines "I could let go of all of my anger" and "this time I'll mean it" are really soooooo Whiskey. And "Can we be strangers...reintroduce you to all of my secrets?" is very Harry. I could talk about this song forever. My god. 

[gluion]

of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ masterlist

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), slice of life, drinking, suggestive themes, so much platonic love in general, expect a lot of sentimental talks and bantering between changmin and reader, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a shithead (and a terrible wingman), sweet angel jacob with his SIGNATURE SMILE!!!, also he may not be unattainable after all???, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), light angst on jacob's end though (i'm sorry baby), kissing and poetic words both from reader and changmin, a lot of tearjerker moments

word count for official parts ➵ 72.5k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel

playlist ➵ tongue tied by grouplove // supercut by lorde // falling behind by laufey // bad by wave to earth // ribs by lorde // bunk beds by dori valentine // bloom - bonus track by the paper kites // invisible string by taylor swift // apple pie by lizzy mcalpine // with you by seth arlan // love you twice by huh yunjin // captivated by iv of spades // i choose you by adam melchor // if there's nothing left... by niki // pancakes for dinner by lizzy mcalpine // around by niki // huwag kang matakot by reese lansangan // love. by wave to earth // old with you by grentperez // pasilyo by sunkissed lola //i <3 u by boy pablo // lucky by jazon mraz and colbie caillat // home by reese lansangan // sunny days by wave to earth

a/n ➵ hi everyone! welcome to the "of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)" universe </3 making a series masterlist was long overdue tbh but surprise!! i don't plan on letting this pairing go easily, so i needed a proper way to have every part and drabble from this universe together!! i hope you guys enjoy this universe as much as i did writing it, and i hope you'll be seated for the little oneshots/drabbles that will come out. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

official parts ➵ one

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

➵ two

you expect that spending time with your crush will only have you falling harder for him. yet, you find yourself unsure of ever having a relationship with him. you need time to sort through what you want with jacob, but a trip back to cheongju for the winter break only brings you newfound emotions toward changmin.

➵ three

now face-to-face with your newfound affection towards changmin, you struggle to determine whether this is platonic or romantic in nature. but with time, you realize that it is not so bad to be in love with your best friend after all.

drabbles/one shots ➵ side-by-side bylines

when you first meet ji changmin, you note him as the intimidating friend of kim sunwoo. but when you are tasked to work with him in your high school's publication, you learn that he is not so bad after all. (in other words, how you became friends with changmin)

➵ used-up cotton pads

in every party, your best friend never fails to take care of you. (in other words, how changmin makes sure to take off your makeup before going to sleep)

➵ tossed-up bouquets and unworn heels

hanhee and byungho are finally getting married, and you and changmin are left with the duty to make sure everything is in order. (in other words, you cannot help but wonder how married life would turn out for you two)

➵ from start to end

to wake up in changmin's embrace means to go to sleep in his arms as well. (in other words, your domestic life with the preschool teacher | sort of an epilogue)

[kaaaaaaarf]

⭐ a very wolfstar christmas playlist ⭐

You'll laugh, you'll cry (I apologize for my actions, I really have nothing to say for myself), you'll be merry and bright.

1. Handjobs for the Holidays // Broken Social Scene

Let me take you on, we'll get high just a little Try to surface the calm, we don't come inside We've got eyes that leave us in places we don't see

2. The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight // Eels

I can't live in a world that you have left behind Seen a lot, been through too much But this is where I draw the line It's not where you're coming from It's where you're going to And I just want to go with you [...] The stars shine in the sky tonight Like a path beyond the grave When you wish upon the star There's two of us you need to save

3. The Day After Tomorrow // Phoebe Bridgers

I close my eyes every night And I dream that I can hold you They fill us full of lies, everyone buys About what it means to be a soldier I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel About all the blood that's been spilled Will God, on His throne, get me back home On the day after tomorrow?

4. Two Queens In a King Sized Bed // girl in red

I don't have a lot to give But I would give you everything All my time is yours to spend Let me wrap you in with my skin With my skin Two queens in a king-sized bed Like angels in the snow My only wish is one more year And then I want them all Your freckled cheeks, our tangled feet The closer, the better it gets So let's stay right here Until forever disappears

5. The Blood We Bleed // Tom Odell

I walk back home, you're all alone The ivy's grown, it's Christmas Eve I brought some wine, it tastes like shite But it provides the spark we need Come on, let's fight, don't be polite You know the knife that cuts me deep You treat me tough, we call it love But it's your blood, I'm gonna bleed

6. Snow On The Beach // Taylor Swift (ft Lana Del Rey)

One night, a few moons ago I saw flecks of what could've been lights But it might just have been you Passing by unbeknownst to me Life is emotionally abusive And time can't stop me quite like you did And my flight was awful, thanks for asking I'm unglued, thanks to you And it's like snow at the beach Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful You wanting me tonight feels impossible

7. Better Than Anyone // Mary Beth Maziarz

For weeks I've been crying too much Ditched my zoloft, still won't be touched By the world moving by, Christmas lights Can you believe it, already again, (I know you can, cause) You know me better than anyone Anyone, ever so far You show me things that I never see Thanks for completing me. . . the way that you do (the way that you do)

8. Christmas Lights // Coldplay

Those Christmas lights Light up the street Maybe they'll bring her back to me And then all my troubles will be gone Oh, Christmas lights keep shining on

9. Pick Up Where We Left Off // Upsahl

We've been through the highs and lows Through the fires and the smoke Only ones that don't let go (Oh, yeah) I could hold in the palm of my hand Yeah, we're dancing in the laugher, swingin' from the rafters Life is moving fast, wonder where it goes Drinking after midnight, I know all your white lies You know I'll still laugh at all your bad jokes Cause it feels like no time's been lost When we pick up where we left off (Ah-ah)

10. Thank God It's Christmas // Queen

Oh, my love, we've had our share of tears Oh, my friends, we've had our hopes and fears Oh, my friends, it's been a long hard year But now it's Christmas Yes, it's Christmas Thank God it's Christmas The moon and stars seem awful cold and bright Let's hope the snow will make this Christmas right

11. Invisible // Zara Larsson

How many nights do you lie awake In the darkest place? How many days do you shed the pain Of your darker days? All I know is If happy lives a mile away A couple steps is all it takes If kindness lives in everyone Then all it takes is standing up Can't touch it, see it But you can always feel it

12. Christmas Is Going To The Dogs // Eels

Well, Christmas is going to the dogs We'd rather have chew toys than Yule logs And things aren't looking very good, it's true So I'll just lay here and chew

13. We're The Lucky Ones // The Marías

I can't wait for Christmas We'll be happier than we have I can't wait for Christmas We'll laugh and we'll dance and we'll cry We've come this far With beating hearts We're the lucky ones, ah-ah

14. Brightest Star // Chris Isaak

I saw a star above the clouds It was the brightest one And I have just begun to understand you You give me reason to believe And though I've doubted you You always see me through I would owe to you Your love

15. Little Things // ABBA

Little things Like your naughty eyes You'd consider bringing me a breakfast tray But there's a price Little things Like that happy noise As a brand new day is dawning On this lovely Christmas morning

16. Song For a Winter's Night // Sarah McLachlan

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top The snow is softly falling The air is still in the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling If I could only have you near To breathe a sigh or two I would be happy just to hold the hands I love On this winter night with you

17. Fool's Gold // Lucy Dacus

He'll blame the alcohol And you'll blame the full moon She'll blame the fall of man But I blame the part of you That can't let up on the reigns You've got life in a chokehold You say that it's all the same All glittering fool's gold

18. Happy Xmas (War is Over) // John Lennon

A very Merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear War is over, if you want it War is over now

[dreamless-daydreamer]

TBB as Taylor Swift Songs Character + Song Analysis Part Eight

Part - One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven

Okay, Heres our favorite girl! It's Omega's turn!

Omega - Peace

Spoilers for Season 3 Ep 3 below

Get your tissues

As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

We see several times throughout the show that Omega is preventing the Batch from the lives they would be leading if she wasn't with them, and even when her brothers reasure her that it doesn't matter we see this burden weigh on Omega. Especially in Season one we see that Omegas being hunted by the Kaminoans, and now in Season 3 the Empire will be hunting down Omega, ensuring that as long as Omega's with them, the Bad Batch will always be hiding to keep her safe.

But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm If your cascade ocean wave blues come All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Omega is the heart of the group most of the time. She brings everyone on the squad joy, and it's evident that they're happier with her than they would be without her. When hard times come, she'll comfort them, such as putting her hand on Wrecker's face and offering him Mantell Mix when he apologized for what happened when his chip activated. And yet, no matter how much she loves and cares for them, they will never know peace so long as she's with them, as she will always be hunted.

Your integrity makes me seem small You paint dreamscapes on the wall I talk shit with my friends It's like I'm wasting your honor

Omega struggles with the knowledge that she's a burden on her brothers. We see how desperate she is to ensure her brothers have a "normal" life. She sees that Echo wants to go and fight for other clones, and she knows that Hunter would at least consider joining Echo, if it weren't for her. She feels like she weighs the whole squad down, stopping them from attaining the lives they could have had.

And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches Give you my wild, give you a child Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother Is it enough?

Omega does everything she can to be a good sister, although it comes naturally to her, she's not always trying to prove herself. She's barely interacted with them when she starts a fight in the cafeteria for them, and she's open and understanding, and she truly loves them with all she is. Their her brothers, and she so clearly loves them so much. But is her love and care enough to make up for everything her brothers, who are techically younger than her, will have to go through for her?

But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me

In season 3 I think we can expect to see the fear of being a burden continue to weigh on Omega. Hunter and Wrecker have been so desperate to find her, but Omega might think it's best for her to leave them. No matter how much joy Omega brings into their lives, the joy will always come with the pain and fear of being hunted.

And I think this will be the final part, at least for a while. I might come back and add more eventually. I might make a post that's a playlist for each character without actually analyzing the songs, but perhaps use it as a masterlist with links for the songs I did analyze. That'll probably come sometime soon.