#not This Love by Taylor Swift coming on my playlist as I'm going back through all these old posts ;_;

[airandyeah]

Sweater Weather (Depressed!Gojo X Reader) Pt.7

The spotify playlist is here (Currently playing: Don't Blame Me; By Taylor Swift) (Not adding lyrics to the text so I can write more) Series masterlist My masterlist Divider Credit to: @uzma-qureshi

Pissed was an understatement for how Gojo felt. The elders have pushed him to the limit with his own jobs, but sending you on that job? Where they fucking crazy? He was seething when he finally left your hospital room the first time. The mission was supposed to be simple for you. 1 special grade curse had been causing some problems in the downtown area, and Gojo was busy. So they sent the other on-hand special grade sorcerer on the mission; you. What was supposed to be 1 special grade curse, turned into a nest of 5 of them. Needless to say, they beat the shit out of you, but you exorcised. every. last. one. The battle left you barely conscious on the pavement, waiting for someone to come to your aid, before you ultimately woke up in the hospital. ~~~ You learned from Nanami while Gojo left to get you breakfast, that Gojo tore the elders down, aggressively, inhumanely, and completely crazed. He could've just hollow purpled them, but he chose to take his time, destroying the building around them, making them believe if they begged that he would grant them mercy, but they were mistaken. You knew it was bad, knew it was actually horrid, but it felt so good. It felt like freedom. When Gojo came back in with your breakfast you thanked him and Nanami took his leave, saying he was going to get food for himself at the food court. You broke apart your wooden chopsticks and began shoveling food into your mouth, you were starving. You heard a giggle next to you and turned to see a love-struck Satoru who found your antics adorable. You stared at him, cheeks full of food before swallowing heavily, "Whatcha lookin at?", you ask, still trying to eat while asking. "You.". Well no shit. "I was scared yknow?", his eyes meet yours as he peels off his blindfold and props his face on his hand, his elbow holding him up next to you on the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be so... much.", you tell him, trying to keep it light. You discard the food tray as you finish, wiping off your mouth. "This whole situation has made me want to truly tell you, I want you to quit. I need you to quit." His words made sense, his voice was pleading that you would actually listen and follow through with his words. "I...", your words died on your tongue, your eyes thoughtful as they stared back into his pleading blues. Your demeanor turns playful a moment later, a small smirk coming across your face. "I'm gonna need to hear something to really convince me", you tell him and he looks at you, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. "What do I need to say?", his question is fast to leave his lips but you shake your head. "You have to figure it out". Gojo Satoru was stumped. "I like dogs more than cats?", he says, a confused lilt still in his voice while you giggle. "Nope, not that". "hmmmmm", he was being dramatic now as he thought, his hand rubbing his chin. ... He has gone through 20, absolutely random statements in the past 10 minutes and you are baffled. "Satoru.", your face is totally deadpanned, your frustration evident. "Whaaaaat, I don't know what you want to hearrrr", his voice is a childish whine and you look so done with him. You grab his face, squishing hard enough that his lips part and slightly pucker. He tries to speak through your hold but you're bringing your lips to his, ghosting over them. His eyes close, expecting a kiss, before you pull away. ~~~ It takes a few moments of silence before it's like a lightbulb flips on over his head. "I-I love you?", he doesn't know if it's what you want to hear and you stare at him. It makes him scared; the 5 seconds you don't say anything. "That sounded like a question. Try again.". He blinked once. twice. A third time. "I love you.", his voice is steady, full of conviction and you smile. "There it is". ~~~ Nanami walks into your hospital room, looking VERY startled and caught off guard as he finds Gojo holding himself up over you as you're making out, before he slams the door back shut and goes home.

Taglist: @kiel-luvsripples , @asahinasstuff

[whumptober]

WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST

Welcome to Whumptober 2024 — Seventh Time's a Charm!

Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

This year's playlist can be found here.

The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.

And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.

We’re very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2024 Prompt List

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK

Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 12: STARVATION

Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD

Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST

Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

No. 21: BODY HORROR

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 28: DENIAL

CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

Alternatives List:

Body Swap

Communication Barrier

Finding Old Messages

Forgotten

Friendly Fire

Motion Sickness

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Regret

Secrets Revealed

Shivering

Survivor's Guilt

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

Event Info & Rules

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is “flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an ‘old flame’ - an old relationship. It’s truly down to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:

#whumptober2024 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#altprompt …..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)

#fandom or #OC, …..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.

Frequently Asked Questions

Please read this before you send an ask!

TIMELINE

July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. It’s up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.

PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION

Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this year’s prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? We’ll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if you’re writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, it’s okay if that fic isn’t finished by the time October ends, you’ll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though it’s only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

PROMPTS

Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you don’t like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a character’s mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as you’d like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you don’t have to produce 31 separate works.

WORKS

Q: What’s whump? Hurting a character, whether that’s physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if it’s whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic “whumpee,” OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything we’re not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, it’s fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.

POSTING

Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a day’s themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. We’ll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, that’s fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (don’t out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).

Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!

[cuteandhughesy]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart | Matt Rempe

summary: after a gruelling breakup with you boyfriend, you thought taking the opportunity to teach some nhl players how to figure skate for the nhl youtube channel would be the best distraction. after seeing who your assigned player is though, you're not sure if it'll be as easy as you thought.

17.6+k

warnings: SFW! figure skater! reader | heartbroken! reader | friends to lovers | fluff | pinning | kissing | suggestive themes |mentions and talk about the death of readers parent | read at your own discretion.

a/n: this is fic that mentioned figure skating and bare with me because I know absolutely nothing about it! also the first figure skating dialogue is meant to be read as like a compilation of that makes sense - like it’s not a complete scene just highlights of one. OH and the dialogue of the montage scenes are literally inspired from coach chippy’s tiktok where he learns how to figure skate. clearly that was my inspiration. okay, that’s all, enjoy!

link to playlist

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

the streets and busy buildings of new york city flash past you, screaming at you with large signs and bright lights. the taxi stops, stuck in a corner of traffic. you sigh gently, your busy travel day beginning to catch up with you. it's not like you even travelled that far, but any type of travelling always took your energy away. you look away from the bustling streets and rejoin the reality of the taxi cab.

the familiar melodies of taylor swift are gently playing through your wired headphones - wired because you've lost two pairs of airpods and can't afford a third set. instinctively, your eyes find the rearview mirror like you're the one driving, your own exhausted face starting back at you. you frown at yourself, looking away.

your taxi driver is taking, his thin lips moving animatedly expressing as he - oh he's talking you.

you tug your headphones out, abruptly stopping your music. "i'm sorry, what was that?"

"are you from new york? or vacationing?" the driver repeats himself, eyes kind from where he glances at you in the mirror.

"i'm here for work, actually." you tell him, deciding to pack up your phone and headphones for the remainder of the drive, shoving them in your duffle bag.

"ah okay, what do you do for work?"

you knaw on your lip - you've never really known how to answer that question. you're technically a professional figure skater. you went to boston university for skating and competed on the world woman's figure skating team. but that didn't always pay the bills, so you split the rest of your time working reception at a house league arena and teaching figure skating to kids 5-7.

"I teach figure skating," you settle on. the taxi starts to move again, the driver taking a sharp left turn that jolts you sideways in the backseat.

"some kids need your help here?" the driver laughs gently, working the wheel to weave the car through traffic.

you breath a little chuckle, eyeing the traffic. "something like that."

a few weeks ago you had been approached by somebody apart of the social administration team for the national hockey league asking if you'd be interested in a mini youtube series where they had professional skaters come and teach nhl players how to figure skate.

at first you were going to pass on the opportunity. your boyfriend of two years had broken up with you only a week before the nhl reached out to you- claiming he wasn't in love with you anymore and needed a fresh start. you were crushed - and honestly still are. you thought there was no way you'd be able to focus on teaching professional athletes how to arabesque properly all while navigating you're first real breakup.

but after really mulling it over, you decided that it could be the distraction you needed in your healing process. you told them yes and two weeks later you were on the train from boston to new york city - all your stuff packed in your nike duffel bag. it shouldn't be too overwhelming, you think. after all, it wasn't just you that would be teaching, there'd be four other figure skaters there with you. the email wasn't too informative about how it would all work, but it gave you basic information like schedule, times, and the actual idea of what was being filmed.

you'd each be assigned an nhl player from the teams in the surrounding areas, and you'd be responsible for not only teaching them how to figure skate, but creating a brief routine for the nhl youtube channel - then again preformed for one of the local kids hockey teams. as well, all proceeds from the video would be given to the kids - which was obviously amazing.

the taxi pulled up to the sheltered entrance of your hotel, which thankfully the nhl was paying for. after all, this trip wasn't one where you'd be getting commission and were solely here voluntarily - so you appreciate how kind the nhl has been with expenses.

"here you go," your taxi driver turns over his shoulder and gives you a warm smile, "need help with your case?"

you shake your head, "i've got it, thank you." digging through your bag to grab some cash, giving it to the old man before making your exit.

he thanks you politely. "good luck teaching those kids," he says. "I know how hard they can be to get through to."

"oh i'm ready for it."

with that you make your way into the hotel, checking in at the reception desk. the hotel is like ridiculously nice and a bag boy even takes your suitcase from you and preemptively delivers it to the room before you get there.

immediately once you get into your room, you exhale tiredly. you shower quickly, barley getting to admire how stunning the bathroom was because of your lacking levels of energy. you don't even dry your hair before you're getting into bed, setting an alarm before closing your eyes.

your stomach is tickling with nerves as you begin thinking about your day tomorrow - the unknown of it all making you anxious. you just pray your designated nhl player is a good listener, patient and a good partner.

— Day One

"and this is the rink - obviously nothing crazy but it is the rangers practice facility so it's definitely nice," mark, the main personal of the admin team gestures to the stark white rink behind him, an excited smile on his face as he talks to you all.

just the smell of the ice has you smiling, and any lingering feelings of anxiety you were feeling about this week were disappearing. you breathe happily, taking another look around the arena facility.

"look at that ice." beside you, another figure skater gleams, her dark brown eyes transfixed on the sheet in front of you. she had introduced herself earlier as shay, her bubbly personality quickly exposed as she started asking you a million questions excitedly. "I can't wait to tear it up."

you quirk a brow slightly, lips pulling into a smile. "well, i'm not sure how much actual figure skating we'll get to do between teaching."

she groans and you giggle at her dramatics.

"alright, guys so," mark claps his hands together, gathering all figure skaters and media personals attention. "we're going to head back to the meeting room and the players will be arriving shortly - once they get here we will go over the process of partnering up and the schedule."

you enter the meeting room soon after, shay at your side - a spring in her step. as you make your way back to the table you'd earlier left your duffle bag (stuffed full with anything you may need), you can't help but feel eager to learn which players would not only be participating, but which player you would be assigned to.

the skaters take various seats in the room, but mostly stick together - opting for the two oval tables towards the side of the room. demi, a small blonde girl, takes a quick seat beside you, immediately resting her chin on her palm as she leans in. "who do you guys hope is here?" she smirks, her voice quiet as she asks. demi doesn't wait for an answer before she speaks again, "i'm hoping for trevor zegras."

out of the corner of your eye you watch as shay gives an unimpressed look. you fight off the knowing smirk that begins to make its way on to your face - you weren't going to be the one to tell the blond that the chances of zegras coming to new york from the other side of the country was very unlikely.

"i'm hoping for somebody who doesn't mind a challenge," you say gently, "doesn't matter who."

demi just hums uninterested, eyes leaving you and moving over towards the front of the room. just as she does so, mark along with another older gentleman enters the room, the latter of the two holding a stack of papers in a brown folder, the word "CONFIDENTIAL" stamped in bold font on the front.

instantly, you become nervous again. the door reopens a few seconds later, and five men walk into the meeting room, laughing and chatting with one another as they do so. based on the pure build of them, you know they are the nhl players you'd all be teaching. you didn't know too much about hockey, and without them wearing their teams jersey you had no idea who played for who. they all look around the same age, which was likely around yours.

in the middle of the five hockey players stands a very tall man - so tall that immediately you feel nervous. teaching somebody that tall and long limbed to figure skate would be difficult and an extreme learning curve. you can only hope whichever skater gets paired with him is patient (and you hope it's not you or shay). ideally somebody shorter and stocky would be best as they'll have an easier time learning spins and bends.

"alright, now that we are all here," mark starts, taking the stack of papers into his hands. "i'm going to go over the jist of what we're doing." he flips open to the first few pages, scanning it quickly before he starts again. "okay so, here's how it's going to work. James and I have preemptively paired each skater with one of our athletes, which was completely random - rempe don't start." one of the players laughs gently, dismissing marks teasing.

"the next couple days will have a lot of filming, so be prepared for the cameras and for my media crew to be all over you." another round of laughs echo throughout the room, and you smile gently. "to my hockey players, please be kind and respectful with the skaters - there already doing a great deal by coming here to teach you, so don't make it difficult."

James is the one to continue, his deep voice projecting around the room. "any and all proceeds from our tiktok and youtube accounts will be given to the new york rockets little league team. as well, the figure skater and assigned player will be preforming a mini routine for the rockets team before our hockey players will be playing a game with them - understood?"

a murmur of agreements can be heard throughout the meeting room. mark clears his throat, beginning to read off his papers. "shay biles, raise your hand for me," like told, shay happily puts her arm in the air, waving slightly. mark beams, "perfect, okay, john beecher this is your partner."

john waves back gently, nodding his head in greeting from across the room. shay definitely got lucky, you think. john seems kind, his eyes gentle and smile bright as he looks at shay. beecher is a name you've heard living in boston, and your younger brother has definitely screamed his name at the tv while watching the bruins. you feel a bit upset that you hadn't gotten john, at least that way you'd have living in boston to relate to.

one of the girls you hadn't really had a chance to talk with is called out next, and she gets paired with an islanders player. she seemed relatively content with her partnership, her smile wide and eyed slightly shiny as anthony greeted her from across the room- perhaps she was a fan of duclair.

demi is called for next. the blonde grins smugly, waving her fingers in a way that seems very amorous. "dawson mercer this is your figure skating partner." the nhl star in question raises his hand from between his crossed arms in greeting, giving the bright blonde one quick wave.

you swear you can hear demi mumble something to you about dawson being 'kinda cute', which makes you feel a bit awkward - you don't know is demi wants you to respond or just stay quiet and nonchalant. shay seems to of heard demi's comment, and she nudges you side gently. shay's smile is barley noticeable, but you see it, and you have to hide you face.

"okay, y/n y/l/n..." mark calls your name and your stomach swoops. the reality of the situation all feels a bit daunting - reminding you of when a teacher would randomly call on you in primary school. your hand moves upwards, your elbow still resting on the table top as you wave gently. mark smiles triumphantly, "ah wonderful - okay matt rempe this is your partner."

it feels like the room goes silent, the constant mumbling and laughter from the table of nhl players comes to a halt. nervous and confused, you eye them all, waiting with anticipation for matt rempe to make himself known - although based on the pause of commotion in the meeting room, it seems like everybody but you is already acquainted with him.

just then, the tallest one that had caught your eye earlier leans forward. you can feel your stomach come up your throat before quickly dropping down to your feet. matt's lips tug up in a slinky smile, jerking his head once in greeting. you can't believe your luck. of course you'd get paired with the borderline giant guy - you can't even begin to fathom how much taller he'll be on skates. you're not too sure yet how you're going to teach him to figure skate gracefully, especially when it comes to spins and gliding - both of those naturally being more difficult to do when you're taller.

you look away. the combination of matt's confident greeting and your own personal turmoil about his height all too much. you swallow nervously, fuck.

you can already tell from the way matt carries himself and how his co-workers act around him that he is the kind of guy who's very...vainglorious. that had you feeling even more timid about teaching him - still dealing with the affects of your heartbreak and learning how to handle everything on top of that was a very different feeling.

and just as the cherry on top, demi leans closer to you from across the table, her voice a quiet, teasing hum as she talks out of the side of her mouth. "lucky duck - you got the hottest one."

double fuck.

soon after the mini breakdown in your head - all figure skaters, hockey players and media personnel were directed back down to the ice level of the rink. the former two groups quickly getting ushered towards the dressing rooms of the practice facility to change into appropriate clothes for skating.

thankfully all the other skaters opted for a more toned down, casual figure skating attire, so you don't feel out of place in your flare leggings, leotard and align zip up. shay looks like she's wearing something similar to you, smiling at you warmly before leaving. so that anxiety slowly settles down.

shakily, you pull your hair into a ponytail, tugging to ensure it's tight and in place. you take a slow breath, preparing yourself for the day ahead of you. slipping on your skates, you've already decided you're not going to let any hockey player change your self-healing journey - the main reason you accept the offer was to heal. you breathe a smile, tightening your skates.

as you approach the ice, you take a momentary pause - observing the scene infront of you. most of the other skaters were enthusiastically chatting with their assigned nhl players, laughing and smiling as they stretched. the atmosphere around you was filled with anticipation and excitement, which had you stomach buzzing.

you step onto the sheet of ice, your eyes darting throughout the sea of skaters and media team. there's more people and camera crew than you were originally expecting, with a good chunk of the arena filled with professional filming cameras, wires, and photographers. with a push forward, you begin to make your way into the crowd, weaving through the chaos in search of matt rempe.

you've heard talk about the name matt rempe - living in a hockey based household with your brother and dad, his name was bound to come up. unfortunately, the talk you've heard hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. matt has made a name for himself in the nhl by fighting - which obviously wouldn't be a problem with your teaching because hopefully he doesn't want to fight you. that as well as his flirtatious personality though has you still feeling a bit worried.

you still haven't caught sight of him yet, which seems odd considering his towering frame. you're definitely not the shortest of all the figure skaters by any means, but you definitely have a smaller stature in compared to your partner and some of the others crowded towards the one side of the rink.

you push forward as you glance over your shoulder - eyeing behind yourself to try and catch sight of matt. you come to a halted stop, your body being held still.

"whoa," a voice breaths with laughter above you, large hands finding your shoulders to stop your movement. "gotta watch where you're going- just saved you from tripping over a pile of wires."

you jerk your head up, finding the soft but teasing brown eyes of matt rempe staring down at you. "matt!" you exclaim loudly. he raises his brows with amused suprise, which immediately has you flushing with embarrassment - you curse yourself for your uncool exterior. "hi! matt. sorry, I'm your skater, my names-"

"y/n," matt says your name - tone a combination of gentle and amusement, your clear borderline frantic state fresh on his mind. he releases the gentle grip on your shoulders in favour of dropping his hands back down against his side. "I remember."

"right, sorry." you laugh gentle, hands nervously fiddling with the zipper of your jacket - a bad habit you'd always had has been fiddling with your clothes as a distraction. you think it's because it helps focus your energy on something else - negative or positive. during your breakup, you think you destroyed two separate strings of hoodies.

you clear your throat, dropping your hands. "have you ever figure skated before?" instantly you regret your awkward question - and you try not to cringe at yourself.  you can only hope you don't come across...unintelligent or discombobulated. the chances of a hockey player participating in this sequence of figure skating related events/ filming of he knew how was very unlikely.

matt looks himself up and down before eyeing your through his lashes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "I definitely have not."

you chuckle awkwardly, ringing your hands. "right, of course not. you probably would've turned down all this figure skating stuff if you knew how. after all why would you willingly volunteer to get bossed around and be taught something you already knew how to do! sorry, I feel like i'm rambling."

"you apologize a lot." matt laughs, eyes glimmering with charm in the arena lighting above. "you don't need to."

"sorry-" matt's brows raise, immediately cutting you off from another apology. "im not going to finish that."

matt smiles fondly.

just then, somebody approaches you both. he looks maybe 2 or 3 years older than you, with dark hair and standing around 6 feet tall. he's got a phone clutched in his hand, and a media lanyard around his neck. "hey," he smiles when he approaches, "i'm david. i'm apart of the social admin team for the nhl and i'll be filming you guys for the tiktok content - which will be today."

you shake his hand gently, "y/n, nice to meet you." matt follows suit, shaking david's hand in greeting. david briefly discuss the filming process with you and matt, and tells you what to expect with the cameras while you're teaching. david’s instructions, although speedy, make you feel more confident in the day - finally having a clear rundown of the process lifting a weight of your shoulders.

david directs you both towards the benches where some of the other partners are stood - waiting their turns in front of the camera. some groups are  with their own social media team, filming for instagram and tiktok accounts. the lighting is dimmed on your half of the rink, providing the filming side with correct studio lighting. there's a small dunkin coffee station set up right by the bench entrance, filled with multiple coffee flavours, takeaway cups, creamers, sugar and even a box of donut holes.

you grab yourself a large paper cup, filling it to the brim with decaf. you don't even bother grabbing cream or sugar - taking three hearty gulps of coffee in hopes to get some hyperactive energy.

lowering the cup from your face, you catch sight of somebody as they skate up beside you. you glance over, just to see matt grab one of the cake flavoured deserts and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. he catches your gaze, and he smiles - mouth full of donut and all.

your brows raise in surprise, his clear comfortability almost has you feeling envious - for his sakes you're trying your best to lighten up and he just is already. you clear your throat twice, "need some coffee to wash all that down?"

matt eyes your cup and he almost makes a face. he swallows heavily, shaking his head. "i'm good - takes more than tiny donut hole to take me down."

you nod with understanding, an amused smile pulling at your mouth - you raise your cup, taking a sip to mask your enjoyment.

matt indulges in one more donut, dusting his hands free of any icing against the front of his rangers jersey. you cringe momentarily, resisting the urge to reach out and wipe away any remnants. "so," matt starts, finishing the last few chews of the donut, "how long have you seen skating?" 

"my whole life," you tell him, happily taking another sip of your drink. "my mom was a figure skater so as soon as I could walk she put me in lessons," you continue, "which obviously seems a little controlling - but i'm glad she did...the opportunities i've had and the memories i've made are just unbelievable."

you pause and take a moment to think about your figure skating journey and just how thankful you are being put in lessons that young - you're not sure where you'd be without skating. you lost your mom when you were 15 - only 8 years ago. figure skating was always a way to stay connected to her and her memories. seeing your dad's blissful face when he watches you compete is always so fulfilling.

matt nods almost solemnly, as if he knows what you were thinking off. he shifts so his entire body is turned towards you, giving you his full attention. "that's actually pretty amazing - where do you compete?"

"i've gone to worlds a handful of times, which is just crazy at my age." you laugh in disbelief just at the thought. first time you went to worlds was when you were 16 years old, and a two more times when you were 17 and 18. you were one of the youngest competitors at being freshly 16 - only two girls from japan and canada being the same age.

matt's brows furrow, "how old are you know?"

"23 right now," you answer, "but I started competitively training when I was 12 and went to the first championship series when I was 16."

"holy crap," he laughs, nodding his head impressed - lips quirked in a half smile. "do you still train competitively? is all this your full time job?"

after another drink of your coffee, you sigh with ponder. "honestly - no. I still work in figure skating - teaching kids in my free time at the arena back home - hence why i'm here. it's just...." you trail off, brows furrowed as you try and find the right words. competing at the levels you used to was a lot. the diet was extremely strict, the training was intense and your mental and physical health was not good. you love skating and you'll always continue to teach it, but actually competing is something you'd never subject your body to again.

"too much." matt nods in understanding, answering for you.

you smile in conformation, "too much." you can tell by matt's sad and understanding smile that he knows exactly the strain and intensity you'd dealt with - he is an athlete after all. you clear your throat, "but i'm excited to be here though, I promise."

he dissolves into laughter, shoulders shaking. "don't worry, I didn't think you weren't."

you breath in relief, your moment of silent worry that matt would think you weren't grateful for the opportunity you were in slipping away. "so how come you decided to do this?" you ask curiously, topping up your coffee cup with more decaf. it overfills, sloshing over the rim as you look at him. silently, you curse, releasing the latch to stop the liquid from pouring out.

matt smiles fondly as you switch hands, moving your cup out of your wet hand. thankfully, it's not scorching so you're not burnt but you're wet and a little embarrassed. you're trying to shake the liquid off your hand when matt wordlessly grabs a napkin out of the stack on the table, gently grabbing your wrist as he pats your skin with it.

you swallow gently, watching him clean the coffee off your hand. matt doesn't seemed fazed, eyes focused on your sticky skin as he answers your question. "honestly, I don't think I was their first choice - they asked Schneider first but he declined. i'm glad they asked me next though, because i'm always looking to try new things." your hand is dry now, and matt balls the napkin up before throwing it into the trash can. he smiles, "and figure skating is on skates right, so I mean i've already got that part down."

in a moment of vulnerability, you spin back to properly face him. you go to speak, "can I be honest with you?"

he nods.

you continue, "tall people and figure skating don't always go hand in hand- when you're tall things like twizzles and jumps and flexibility don't come as easy. so when I first saw you I remember thinking I felt bad for your partner," you laugh once, "and then once I found out that you were my partner I got really nervous. I just...," you pause, sighing, "I don't want you to feel like you can't do it properly or as well as some of the shorter players or feel upset because I can't show you everything- i'm rambling again, sorry I-"

"y/n," he hums playfully, "the only thing i'll be upset about is if you keep apologizing for no reason." he spins on his skates so that his back is towards the coffee table, his side bumping into your front teasingly. he rests against the edge, hands gripping the table to keep himself steady.

you breath a laugh, mimicking his position. your arms brush together, and you belly sort off...wobbles. "I know, I know - I just want this to be good."

"it will be," matt smiles triumphantly.

david comes shuffling over again, now with a mini ring light attached to the media branded cellphone. he beams, coming to a shaky stop. he gestures to his phone, "i've got to get you two for a tiktok before the youtube crew takes you." david then goes into what you need to say and maneuvers you both to a more aesthetically appealing background.

you begin, smiling brightly at the camera and praying your eyes aren't squinty with the bright light. "hi tiktok i'm y/n and ill be teaching new york ranger, matt rempe, how to figure skate this week."

"stay tuned for exclusive content and behind the scenes on the new york rangers tiktok and instagram page - as well for the full videos on youtube." matt concludes, looking down at you briefly.

"great - that's amazing guys! i'll catch up with you both later." then david scoots away, back towards the exit off the rink where some media tables are set up - full of equipment, passes and extra water bottles and snacks.

next thing you know you and matt are both being ushered in front of the cameras for your segment of todays filming. like david, one of the directors - a middle aged blonde woman with a encouraging voice - tells you how to start and what to say. she ensures you if either of you need a break and/or further instructions to not hesitate to stop and ask.

with that being said, matt begins to video off. he stands tall, large arms held behind his back as he stands perfectly on the mark. "I'm matt rempe from the new york rangers and today I'm learning how to figure skate," matt smiles with exaggerated nervousness, eyeing you.

you giggle quietly, "and i'm professional figure skater, y/n y/l/n and today i'll be teaching matt the basics of figure skating - starting off easy for ole matt."

his arms come loose, and he holds his hands up in a surrender like position, turning towards you. "okay if im being honest I think i'll get the hang of this pretty easily," matt admits confidently.

smirking, you eye him, "let's see." you push off, skating away gracefully, spinning back around to face your partner. "ready for your first set of moves?"

"born ready."

-

you finishing off one of the quicker spins, making your final turn before gracefully skating out of the motion - demonstrating for matt.

his brows raise in shock, eyes slowly meeting the camera. staring down the lens. he shrugs doubtfully, cracking his neck in preparation. "my turn."

matt tries to recreate the spin, slowly and wobbly twizzling around the ice. it's definitely not perfect as he can't seem to stay in the same area and he only makes it around four full times before beginning to slip out. "that's crazy." he laughs in disbelief. "show me again."

"just-" you sigh with a smile, getting back into position to twizzle around once again. "like that."

matt tries again, and although his second attempt was more more successful, he was still a bit unstable with his movements. the tall athlete comes to a wobbly stop, brown eyes closing in discomfort. you know that face all too well and immediately you know he hasn't spotted - which is your own fault for not teaching him. "i'm dizzy,"matt puts his hands on his knees, leaning over to try and ground himself. "I don't even know how you do that."

once he's no longer feeling nauseous, you quickly teach him the importance of knowing how to spot.

-

matt's hands are heavy in yours, his grip tightening to mimick your hold as you both attempt another jump - granted it's a bit difficult considering his height. regardless, it's successful and he lands pretty much perfectly.

you encourage him further as you both skate, praises happily spilling from your mouth as you him skate gracefully - well, as graceful as somebody that tall can. you slow ever so slightly, tightening your grip again to signal for another jump.

matt's tongue pokes out and his brows furrow with concentration. he pushes off the ice like you showed him, jumping into the air. he lands again, a warm laugh leaving him. "oh my god!"

"great!," you beam, bringing you both to a slow stop. then you tell matt that he has to attempt jumping on his own and his once smile is quickly flipped.

-

"okay matt we gotta dip," you hum knowingly, already sensing his disappointment - matt's earlier distain towards low level figure skating moves ringing in your head. "dig real low."

like suspected, matt groans - it's not that he doesn't want to try and do the move because he knows that's why he's here and he wants to make your experience pleasant. he's groaning because he knows how him trying will end.

matt's first dip down to the ice is successful, and you gleam, gliding along beside him. "look at how low you are!"

matt continues to slide along the ice, one of his long legs extended in front of him. he's practically holding his breath, concentrating on making another successful dip down. it isn't much longer before he slips, landing roughly on his back.

matt groans in displeasure, his arms falling dramatically as he rolls on the ice. the sight of the tall man laying on the ice like a child has you laughing into your palm, eyeing him gently.

he pushes back onto his knees before standing to his full height, brows furrowed. "are you laughing at me?" matt questions you, his own laugh slipping out between his uncomfortable groans - the wind just about knocked out of him from the fall.

your hands fall from your face, raising in surrender. "i'm not even laughing cause it's funny. it's just like-"

"I was digging for you." matt claims cheekily - referring to your earlier comment about matt needing to dig deeper into figure skating. "I wanted to go low for you." he's gently rubbing his elbow, a grimace still on his face.

"I know. you were actually very low I was impressed."

-

you expertly lean into your spin, bending your back to complete the movement.

matt squints unsure. "i'm having a hard time committing to that right now."

-

you move forwards, quickly stopping your skates as you swing your body from side to side - skate blades tearing into the ice in a jerk like motion.

matt watches you closely from where he takes a momentary break against the boards. "oh so we are doing slow mo now?"

"yup." you chirp, rounding back towards him.

"fuck me," he huffs out, pushing off the wall. they'll definitely have to bleep that out.

-

your back is practically pressed into matt's chest, breathing gently as you push your bodies together. "give me your other hand," you remind him gently. "goes on the hip."

like told, matt's large hand rounds in to the dip of your hip, securely holding onto your body in preparation for a glide. against your other hand, his fingers flex slightly, fixing his grasp.

"okay and you're going to push off the ice."

"okay," he mumbles from above the top of your head. he goes to push off the ice, but from pure instinct he kicks off too strongly and too quickly - his legs wobbling as he practically launches you both. matt curses, toe picking to a stop.

"woah," he breaths a laugh. "not smooth, eh? let's redo that."

you laugh gently, and you pull him back into proper position. "you got it, just focus on the journey rather than the destination."

"I can't concentrate when you're looking at me like that." matt says, a small teasing smirk following as you both get ready to glide again.

"oh my god." you mumble.

-

matt's breathless, hands on his hips as he collects himself after trying to do more practice on his solo jumps. he looks dead at you, lips tugging up into a smirk, panting as he tries to collect himself. "we don't need to do any triples axels today."

you giggle through your own breathlessness, sympathetically patting his padded shoulder. "you've worked hard enough."

"i'll do a triple axel probably next session." he jokes, shrugging nonchalantly. you scoff, pushing against his shoulder teasingly.

-

"i'm sweating," matt huffs.

-

"why are you standing like that?" you laugh, pausing your demonstration to skate over towards matt.

"what do you mean? that's just how I stand." it's definitely not how he stands - and he's looking rather uncomfortable as he attempts to balance on his toes, his knees bent.

you can only laugh in disbelief. in an attempt to fix his awkward posture, you push against his chest with one hand, trying to angle him backwards while your other hand attempts to keep his lower back in proper position. "you're ridiculous - you look like jason kelce ready to catch a football."

-

"I think my hips are too far forward," matt hums thoughtfully, teetering uncomfortably.

"yeah?" you question.

"yeah," he nods with confirmation, swishing his hips around in a circular motion - trying to loosen his muscles. "they're too tight - everything's too tight." he sends an exaggerated wink in your direction, trying to further us attempt at a dirty innuendo.

you splutter, heat rising to your face. "stop it."

-

finally after a tiring and eventful couple hours, you and matt are done skating and filming for the day. it's only a couple minutes of an interview like questionare on the other end of the ice - away from jamie drysdale as his figure skater begins to go over turns before you get to get changed.

you're exhausted by the time you're walking out of the change room - swapping your athletic zip up for an oversized hoodie and figure skates for your slip ons. you let your ponytail down, fluffing the kinks from your hair as you begin to make your way down the hallway towards the parking garage entrance.

thankfully, yesterday when you arrived you had an email from the nhl informing you that your rental car, courtesy of the nhl, had arrived to your hotel and the keys were with reception. you're very thankful, because spending all your money on taxis wouldn't be ideal.

you’re right at the car, your finger already placed against the unlock button on the rented key fob when someone calls your name, the familiar voice echoing through the concrete parking garage.

matt comes up beside you just as you turn around - a friendly grin on his lively face.

you smile politely. "hey."

he breaths a greeting, "hi." matt doesn't say anything else - only continuing to look down at you gently, an unknown expression along side his gaze.

your brows come together with amused confusion, your lips changing into a slight smirk. "everything okay?" you ask, leaning back against your car door.

he blinks out of his stare, shaking his head slightly. "yeah, sorry. just wanted to thank you for today - you're really patient and like super chill. i'm looking forward to tomorrow and working with you further - god knows I didn't make it the easiest task."

"oh," you breathe, "thanks, matt that's really kind of you to say. you're great at this, don't worry."

he laughs softly, "thanks - still not sure about those spins though."

you giggle gently, the thought of matt's green complexion and woozy eyes still fresh in your mind. you tug your tongue, poking at his bicep "spotting," you remind him.

"right, spotting," he kisses his teeth, nodding with thought. his mouth opens briefly, nothing but silence coming out - but then he sighs, "you're ridiculously good, y/n, i've been blown away by you."

you swallow thickly, completely shocked at his kind words and warmhearted complexion. he smiles sheepishly, like he might be embarrassed by his straightforward compliment. you muster up a grin, fiddling with the edge of your sweatshirt. "that means a lot to me - thank you."

"you're welcome," he says sheepishly, rubbing one of his large palms over the back of his neck. matt steps backwards, eyes meeting yours. "i'll see you tomorrow, y/n."

"i'll see you tomorrow, matt."

— Day Two

like yesterday, you and matt ended up being one of the first skating partners to be filmed. which was kind of nice, because after the hour or so of teaching him, you got to have a break. granted today both you and matt had to stay for some extra interview style filming and then proceed to begin to practice the 40 second - 1 minute routine needed for a few days time.

you had already finished your question session for the day, so you were sat comfortably on one of the benches. the sounds of shay's skates gliding across the ice as she taught john some more complex spins was a soothing noise - giving you a moment to reflect.

last night after your long day spent with matt, you had gotten back to your hotel exhausted once again - eyes practically fluttering closed on the elevator ride up. you had briefly checked social media before heading to bed in search for some brain distraction before sleep - only to be met with your exes instagram story with another girl: the two looking very cozy together.

that sent you into a depressive spiral, which included lots of self doubt and crying. it's not even the fact that he had moved on from your relationship quickly, but the thought of him having no regards for how you may feel had you feeling sick - your self doubt and insecurities in full force.

your eyes had still hurt from your night of crying when you woke up - definitely still puffy as you showed up at the rink. you definitely hadn't been as layed back today, and most of your responses were short and quick - your movements not as precise or clean. your heartbreak was beginning to affect you on the rink...all because of a stupid instagram story. you honestly felt bad for matt having to deal with you and you can only hope you're not ruining his experience.

the sound of somebody stepping up onto the padded area of the benches has you snapping out of your daydreaming, looking up at the source to see matt hobbling towards you - the padding affecting his skate blades.

matt was coming from filming some interview content with david like you had previously done - now taking a seat beside you on the bench before you'd both have to practice the routine. matt sits close enough to you that his arm bumps yours, but he doesn't seem to mind the closeness - making no effort to move away from you, keeping your limbs pressed together.

"good job today." you smile gently towards him, but it doesn't meet your eyes. quickly, you turn your attention back towards the rink - john beecher's laugh a nice distraction.

matt smiles politely even though you're not looking at him, "thanks - you too."

you shoot him a questioning glance, but there's a ghost of a smile on your face - his little quip getting to you. it makes matt beam, eyes trained on you even as david zooms over to take some behind the scenes pictures of you both - he's gone before you even have a chance to pose.

you find the ice, instinctively thinking about your ex once again. you're almost angry at yourself for doing so - you took this opportunity to try and heal and get over the heartbreak back in boston. and matt was so nice yesterday, already providing you with a comfortable distraction in your healing journey.

matt nudges his skate covered foot against yours, pulling you out from another moment of daydreaming. "you trying to steal some teaching techniques from shay or something?"

"what?"

"you keep zoning out over there." he laughs gently, his elbow nudging into you in one last attempt to get you to crack.

you laugh, but it's definitely forced - shaking your head as you try and clear your summersault of thoughts.

matt sighs, eyes dancing over your dull expression. "sorry if this comes across weird, but...are you okay?"

you shoot him a glance. "what do you mean?"

he shrugs, "I don't know you just look off - sorry if that's too harsh. it's just…yesterday you looked much more, I don't know, happier? or maybe more hyper? sorry if i'm overstepping, just thought I'd be a decent human being and ask." matt seems to nervously run a hand over his flowing hair, awkwardly tugging his jersey away from his neck as he rambles. "i've noticed something all day and I just thought...I don't know."

you frown gently. you've never been one who could easily control your emotions and they are always easily depicted on your face. today was no exception, and matt has clearly caught it. although you weren't planning on getting into your lingering heartache, you owed it to your partner to at least give him something. besides, matt noticing something was up with you based solely on your body language and waiting until you weren't in front of cameras to ask about it....was rather sweet and considerate of him.

matt continues to apologize to you, his eyes frantically searching your face for any notable signs of discomfort.

you press further into his side to gather his attention, doing your best at sending him a playful smirk. "hey if i'm not allowed to excessively apologize without a reason - neither are you."

your teasing has matt breathing a sigh of relief, but his brows still are drawn together in question. "so i'm not overstepping?"

you shake your head. "you being perspective and asking me if i'm okay is not overstepping."

his brows change, shooting up in suprise. "so you're not okay is what you're telling me?"

you sigh gently, "just...having a hard time recently. nothing that deep, truly. stupid stuff."

on cue, your cell phone resting in your lap lights up with a notification, and like clockwork both you and matt look down at the glowing device. the notification isn't even the problem - just some stupid twitter notification about sydney sweeney and her new movie.

"is that your boyfriend?" matt asks you gently.

he's referring to your lockscreen picture - one that contains you and your ex laying together on the beach. matt had seen the lockscreen photo that you still hadn't had the heart to change - too attached to the memories of what once was. that was the problem.

"no, sorry - he's," you pause, debating if you're really about to tell matt - a guy you're just really getting to know - about your sad excuse of an ex. "he's my ex-boyfriend."

you can practically see the gears turning in his head, his eyes darting around your face to further take in your expression. matt puts all the clues together, humming gently. "is that why you're upset?"

for a brief moment you continue to debate about what to say. telling an nhl player about your ex wasn't exactly what you were expecting to do today, but you also don't really have any sort of outlet for your feelings. back home you sort of don't have any friends - your best friend ashley had moved to ohio for school a year ago and you had your family, but even they could be dismissive and non understanding about your heartbreak. you think matt may just be the next best thing.

"yeah," you finally sigh, "he broke up with me only a couple weeks ago."

"i'm sorry," matt says immediately, eyeing you softly. "what happened - if that's okay to ask?"

"well," you laugh breathily, your disbelief clear in your tone. "he decided that after two years he didn't love me anymore - and based on his story last night…he's already moved on. i'm not even upset that he's moving on, it just hurts to see you know?" you're weren't really expecting to spew all that, but matt doesn't seem to mind as he nods thoughtfully.

"yeah," he agrees, "similar thing happened with my ex, so in some capacity I can understand how you're feeling." he pauses, eyeing the ice once again. you find yourself following suit, watching as shay shows john how to properly do his spread eagles. "you're pretty badass for dealing with my gangly limbs and whining all while being heartbroken- if I was in your spot I probably wouldn't of come."

"that's why i'm here, actually," you laugh thoughtfully, "I thought it would be a nice distraction from all that bullshit going on at home. teaching you how to skate and making new memories. plus, you don't whine as much as I thought you would've." glancing back towards him, you see that he's already looking down at you - a smile tugging at his lips at your teasing.

"really? glad to hear i'm a good student then."

you squint at him, "well I didn't say you are good."

the sound of your further teasing has matt cackling, his head tilting back as he takes in your comment. you giggle gently, already feeling the slightest bit lighter.

"oh okay, I see how it is!" he smirks, "well, my dearest teacher is there anything I can do to improve my grade?"

you're glad that matt has taken well to your teasing, and has even continued to further your lighthearted back and forth - a pleasant conversation to help distract you from your rather tiring day. the combination of a rough night without much sleep and practically exercising all day has you left feeling exhausted.

you tap your chin in a faux thought, lips pursing outwards as you hum, "maybe if you can teach me how to throw a left hook i'll bump your mark up."

"oh so you're only here to brush up on your fighting techniques," he pauses with a hearty laugh, "I see how it is!"

you shrug unapologetically, crossing your skate covered feet over.

"do you watch hockey?" matt hums after a moment. you frown at his rather unprompted question, and you watch him quizzically - his large body bent as he re-ties his skates. you don't say anything at first, so he looks back at you over his shoulder, his eyebrows raised. "I'm only asking because you seem like you knew that I fight - I won't like...banish you if you're not a rangers fan."

you laugh. "sort of," you pause, taking a thoughtful breath. "my brother and my dad - who I live with back in boston, well, they're big bruins fans -" matt makes a disgruntled face out of habit, which has you stifling a giggle. you continue, "i've heard your name before because you fight - my brother likes you."

matt nods understandably. "what's your brothers name?"

"gavin - he just turned 10." a pang of homesickness hits you, and you really wish that your family was in new york with you, exploring the city and watching you teach.

matt smiles gently, "I'll have to meet him one day."

"he'd like that." you say instantly - not even thinking about what that would mean. how that would include matt rempe being with you in boston, or how it would be you and gavin visiting him in new york. "what about you, any siblings?"

"sisters," his face lights up, "steph and alley. they stay in calgary with my mom."

"they must be really proud of you." you hum truthfully, resting your chin on your shoulder as you smile up at him.

his smile widens, clearly very close with his mom and sisters. "they are - but i've honestly never seen them more excited about me skating, than they've been knowing you're teaching me figure skating." he laughs.

"are you telling your family about me?" you squawk with joy, eyes glimmering with playfulness.

before he has a chance to respond, the sound of demi's high pitched voice is interrupting - and it has you looking away from matt's face and back towards the rink. demi is looking at dawson with impatience, her tone coming across very short and irritated. poor dawson, you think, he must be dying inside. although you're not sure if you were any better than that today, remembering your rough start.

thankfully the devils forward just smiles and nods understandably- and you can only hope demi's temper comes across as a staged dynamic between the two of them: bossy and forgiving.

beside you, matt leans in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear as he whispers. "looks like I definitely ended up with the best skater." you meet his eyes curiously, and that has matt subtly gesturing towards demi, brows raised in disbelief as her impatience has now turned into obvious flirtation. you're glad matt thinks you're more tolerable than demi.

you snap your hand up towards your mouth in an attempt to cover and stifle your giggle. both of you watch as dawson tries to attempt a cantilever after demi's poor demonstration, and you can't help the roll of your eyes as demi immediately begins reprimanding him.

although her teaching skills were anything but good, you can tell that dawson also wasn't really trying and wasn't as loose with his movements - in fact, it kind of looks like dawson doesn't want to be there at all.

you turn your head into the side of matt's arm, directing your whispers into him so your voice has no chance of carrying throughout the arena. "seems like I got the best nhl player."

matt smirks once you pull away, and he bumps his  shoulder with yours. "obviously."

you scrunch your nose, "even if he is a goon."

matt's head snaps towards you, a look of shock combined with amusement on his face. "hey!" he scolds with a laugh.

matt doesn't have an opportunity to tease you further, words interrupted when shay and john make their way towards the bench, both of them looking tired after their skating session and interviews. regardless, they are both smiling and chatting cheerily as they sit down beside you.

shay is instantly bringing a ray of sunshine with her, happily greeting you and instantly chatting and giggling to you about some crazy thing she heard demi tell another one of the skaters regarding something matt doesn't quite pick up on.

he's too busy noticing how shay's presence seems to be one of the last puzzles pieces in helping you feel better and look more relaxed. your eyes continue to widen and sparkle as you laugh, and how you don't seem to venture off into daydream land while listening to john and shay animatedly go over how john almost ate shit during a glide. it's all very sweet. matt barley knows you and already he doesn't want to see you feel anything but happiness. 

without any deliberation, matt grabs your phone from your lap quickly, a smirk on his face once he sees your shocked face. he opens the camera icon, bringing your phone upwards so it is capturing all four of you on the bench. you don't get a chance to scold him before matt gets their attention. "hey guys, let's get a picture."

"oh yeah," beecher smirks, bumping into shay - which sends her body sliding into yours, and like a butterfly affect sends you into matt's side, tightly tucked into him. "everyone try to look happy and not exhausted." beecher playfully adds.

shay playfully rolls her dark eyes - clearly used to johns personality already. to further his point, john holds two fingers up behind shay's head, giving her faux bunny ears for the camera. shay leans into further your side, her head on your shoulder as she blows a kiss - while you choose to wrap your hands around matt's building forearm, practically hugging his limb as he snaps the picture.

later when you're back in your hotel room - there are three things that take you by somewhat of a surprise. the first being two instagram follows from john beecher and matt rempe - you follow both back immediately.

the second is your brother linking you a tiktok.

it's a clip of you and matt from a distance, clearly filmed by david - the two of you were whispering to one another and giggling, and it was captioned 'plotting'. your brother had texted his excitement about you getting partnered with matt rempe - which had you smiling.

the surprising part wasn't even the tiktok, it was how at ease you looked in his presence. you almost can't fathom it, because it's not just about looking at ease but you were at ease around matt.  you want to try and deny it, but you can't - whatever you're beginning to feel in his presence is undeniable.

you knaw at your lip, going into your camera roll to find the photo matt had taken of you all a few hours ago - four smiling faces starring back at you. you all look happy and like you want to be with one another - unlike the picture of you and your ex on your lockscreen. you sigh gently, but there's a gentle, content smile on your face. you make the new picture your wallpaper, replacing your ex for good.

— Day Three

you knock three times against the large wooden door of the quick home, softly to not seem too eager but loud enough so you'd be heard.

you sigh gently, adjusting the bag against your shoulder so it sits comfortably. you can't believe you're actually here - waiting for matt rempe to let you inside jonathan quick's home. this morning when you woke up, you had an instagram message from matt - some corny text that pretty much asked for your number. which, obviously had your stomach swooping and as you gave it to him.

spending the past few days with matt has been really...pleasant. although you've literally known him for only three days- the amount of time spent together makes that feel like it's been years. you're pleasantly surprised with how nice, funny and adaptable matt has been with you. thinking back to before you met matt, you can't even fathom how silly you had felt leading up to everything- the nerves you had been battling regarding the week now seem ridiculous. and you hate to sound like demi, but matt's face is certainly a bonus to everything else - you also hate how that thought is beginning to make you feel.

you had spent a good amount of time today choreographing the mini routine with matt during your lesson. you wanted to make sure matt had a say in what was happening so that way you could ensure he was capable and comfortable with the routine. it all seemed to be going very well, and matt had seemed to really have a grasp of the routine.

so tonight when he texted you asking for some more help and practice - going as far to invite you to the quick's house where he'd be living for the upcoming season - you had been slightly confused. it wasn't like today was your only day for practicing the routine as all the skaters and respective nhlers had two hours tomorrow morning before needing to preform - that way it was fresh in their mind. so you'd been a bit unsure of why he wanted to have you come over tonight when tomorrow you could provide any clarity and help he was seeking.

regardless of those thoughts, you drive over to the house...ready to help matt practice your figure skating routine in a nhl superstars living room - yeah, what is your life right now. through all the disbelief and curiosity of the situation though, you did want to succeed in your partnership and win the kids votes with your routine, so you're happy matt was serious about it all.

the door clicks open, and the butterflies in your stomach flutter quickly. the idea of spending extra time with matt have the little bugs increasing in speed, sending your skin through joyful vibrations. matt smirks, leaning against the doorframe. "hey."

"hi," you breathe, adjusting your hoodie as you do so. matt looks so comfortable, clad in a black henley top and team branded athletic shorts- showing of the muscles he's put on during the offseason. suddenly you feel a bit sloppy - not even bothering to take your hair down from its scraggly bun before coming over. you chuckle awkwardly, "you called for me?"

your poor attempt at a posh accent lands, and matt's laughter is warm, filling your chest with its own hot feelings as he chuckles about your joke. "I did - wanna come in?"

you nod. matt opens the door wider, gesturing for you to make your way into the large foyer. immediately you feel out of place, the grand entryway practically the size of your living room and kitchen combined back home. it's almost completely silent inside, saved from the youtube playing quietly in another room. "this is really nice." you breathe out, kicking off your shoes beside the welcome rug.

matt huffs in laughter - a sound that's become way too familiar. from behind you, matt grabs the strap of your bag, his long fingers brushing your shoulder as he slips it off your arm. "I know right - i'm very lucky."

brushing off matt's touch on your shoulder, you laugh once, blindly following matt as he moves through the large space - presumably leading you towards one of what you assume is many living spaces.

"and who would've thought i'd also be getting lucky" you attempted joke quickly turns your face hot, the realization of what just come from your mouth has you feeling embarrassed. you slow in your steps, covering your burning cheeks with your hands. "wait, that came out wrong."

matt laughs over his shoulder, shooting you a playful glance. "you little freak." he teases, "I never would've thought the sweet, innocent looking girl who I first saw across the room in the meeting room would be such a little perv."

his obvious teasing and taunting smirk had you groaning with further embarrassment, dragging your feet as you make your way in his direction. "matt i'm literally dying here - throw me a bone at least."

matt's brows raise with surprise, and his laughter increases - like he's in disbelief. then, it hits you, another accidental sexual innuendo burning your face to an impossible shade of red. your mouth parts at a loss for words, and your eyes close to further your shocked state. "i'm just going to leave."

matt reaches out to you and he grabs your wrist gently, dragging you through the last bit of remaining space between you. the feeling of his touch has your eyes snapping open, you once parted lips snapping closed quickly. you stare up at him with softness and a little bit of shock- now closer than you ever could have imagined.

his bottom lips juts out - all wet and pouty as he slowly blinks down at you. "don't leave - I need you here."

you swallow nervously and automatically your breathing quickens in space. matt's words are sitting heavy in your ears and millions of thoughts about his soft confession swirl around your head. softly, you question his words. "you need me here?"

matt's pout transforms into a gentle smirk and his eyes squint at you questionably. you can see the teasing comment brewing from a mile away. "yeah because I want to go over our routine - get your mind out of the gutter, y/n."

"oh my god." you sigh, your eyes rolling playfully as matt begins to giggle to himself like a school boy. you shake your head in admirable disbelief, "you're such a-"

matt interrupts, "an amazing and perfect guy?"

"little shit." you correct, quirking a brow upwards in his direction.

"whatever you say ma'am," matt sing songs, his grip on your wrist tightening ever so slightly, guiding you in the direction of the living room - babbling how if you keep making unnecessary sexual comments he'll never get to learning the routine properly.

all you can do is hide your growing smile and blush while his back is turned.

matt knows the routine like the back of his hand. you show him solo once before you make him join in - and he almost perfectly execute his moves. it slightly furthers your confusion about him asking for extra help from earlier, but you brush those thoughts away. you get about 30 minutes of practice in and although neither of you are on ice skates, it's still a successful practice -  matt is moving as if there was a set of blades beneath him.

it isn't long before matt is sighing dramatically, taking a break from twizzling - he just about had carpet burn on the soles of his feet from the friction. he takes a messy gulp of water, the sound of plastic crinkling echoing through the empty house. he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "okay i'm beat - I gotta save the rest of my energy for tomorrow."

you laugh softly, quirking your head as you eye him. "I think you've got enough energy built up to last for the rest of your life."

"yeah yeah," he dismisses your teasing remark with a smile, hand waving you off. "wanna watch a movie or something?"

you eye him, "a movie?"

he nods, completely unfazed by your doubtful tone. "yeah - ever heard of one?"

you ignore his blatant teasing, your eyes flickering towards the large rustic clock hanging above the kitchen nook - directly across from the large family room.  "are you sure?" you question, wide eyes darting between the time and matt's awaiting face, "it's almost 8...I don't want to intrude."

matt scoffs gently, like he was disgusted that you'd even think that. his lips tug upwards in a soft smile, spinning his water bottle between two fingers like a basketball would. the sight of him toying with the plastic bottle is a momentary distraction, and you find yourself watching his long fingers like a weirdo.  "I like spending time with you - so yes im sure."

matt's words have you looking away from his hands, and you find his soft stare even more distraction than his fingers.

oh.

"you do?" you question meekly, gently fiddling with your hoodie once again. your nerves are growing once again, but this time they're purely because of matt and his borderline romantic confessions. that combined with his eye contact, and constant teasing smile have you feeling rather giddy.

he nods like it should be obvious to you and then he just starts to just walk away - gesturing for you to follow him with a simple nod of the head over his large shoulder.

you're not sure what you were expecting from matt's bedroom, but you don't think it was what you were seeing. it was just so...homey. it's in the basement of the quick house - which was obviously a ridiculously nice and expensive looking spare room.

the room has clearly had a woman's touch, with elegant decor and furniture, but matt had definitely made his mark around the space. his laundry is spread out on the floor near the hamper - not in it and there are a couple miscellaneous knickknacks on top of his bedside table and the tall dresser in the corner.

he's got a pair of wireless beat headphone's hanging off the corner of a picture frame - an image of him and his mom staring back at you. his bed is made, but it's still messy with a throw blanket pulled astray near the top of the bed and pillows squished together - looking like that's where he'd been lounging before you got here.

there's a few hockey sticks sitting up against the closet door and -

"are you going to come join me over here or am I just going to pick the movie all by myself?" matt's annoying teasing question has your eyes falling in his direction. you blush at how entranced you had been by his bedroom - reminding yourself of a 13 year old girl who is in her crushes space for the first time.

to further his point, matt pats the empty side of the bed, beckoning you over with the hand that wasn't holding his remote. in your snooping daze, you'd completely disregarded matt getting comfortable in his bed and turning on the tv -further illuminating the room.

"i'm not a dog," you giggle, making your way over to him despite your attempt at sounding annoyed. you climb into his rather large collection of blankets, burritoing yourself between them. your limbs immediately thank you as they finally have a chance for relief. "and if you think i'm letting you pick a movie you're certainly wrong."

matt gets himself into a more comfortable position, resting his head on his arm as he scrolls through the options on netflix. he turns his head towards you leisurely, and the pillows puff at the movement. "and why's that?"

you shrug gently, eyes meeting his. "you'd probably pick like...slapshot or something that I don't want to watch."

he laughs softly. "and your pick would be better?"

immediately, you hum with confidence. "absolutely it would."

his brows raise and he silently challenges your claim. "okay and what movie would that be?"

naturally, your eyes flat back towards the tv screen - the small collection of movies matt had stopped on mid scrolling staring back at you. there's nothing that initially catches your eye, but right at the end of the list there's one film that nobody could resist.

"pitch perfect," you state, looking back towards matt. his eyes are still on you and his face expression is soft. you clear your throat gently, and your eyes flicker. "not only is it actually funny, but it's a unique story with friendship and romance - there is truly nothing better. it's probably my favourite." you weren't lying, it was one of your favourite movies. something about the film had always held such a special place in your heart, and you couldn't never ignore it when you saw it.

matt could tell you were passionate about the movie franchise based solely on the way your eyes flickered as you talked. he's seen that look on you before - anytime you laughed at his jokes or when you were skating it made an appearance. matt shrugs nonchalantly and clicks the play button. "i've never seen it."

your eyes widen with surprise, "really? matt oh my god." the lighting from the movie's opening scene is shining on you, illuminating both of your flushed faces in the dim bedroom. "well thank god I saw it on there."

"thank god," matt mimics you teasingly. "now quiet down i'm trying to watch the movie."

you laugh into the pillow you'd stolen earlier, trying your best to focus on the movie playing and not matt's side profile - but it proves to be rather difficult.

unfortunately, it's not long before your eyes start fluttering, the long day catching up to you. soon enough, you feel them properly close and you're not strong enough to fight off the much needed sleep.

matt feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder, and he finds that your head has gravitated towards him in your sleep. the sight of your rosy cheeks and puffy lips have him smiling fondly, doing his best at staying still to ensure you would be well rested for tomorrow - he'd make sure to wake you in the morning with plenty of time for you to get ready.

slowly, his eyes flicker back towards the movie that he's obviously seen many times before - he grew up with three woman in the house for gods sake. he just couldn't disappoint that sparkle in your eyes.

— Day 4

you wake up groggily at first, eyes squinting through the unfamiliar bedroom. you focus on the hockey sticks against the wall and feel the warmth of a body next to yours and soon you come to - finally recalling your whereabouts.

you sit up quickly. "oh my god I fell asleep." you sigh, hands panic searching through the blankets in a desperate search to find your phone. in your peripheral, matt hold's out your phone - and you don't miss the teasing look he gives you with it.

"I was just about to wake you up - wasn't going to let you be late." matt mumbles sleepily. he shoves your phone into your hoodie pocket before you have a chance to take it from his hand.

you jump out of bed hurriedly, fixing your disheveled messy bun as you do. his comforting words fall on deaf ears, and you feel panicked. you can feel your heart reaching and the adrenaline pumping through your body. "i've got to shower and then I have to make sure i've got my preforming clothes ready - oh gosh, I also was supposed to text shay and help her go over a move for her routine and-"

"hey," matt says gently, gently taking ahold of your biceps - grounding you. you didn't even notice him get out of bed, as you were too busy going over the endless notes app you had curated in your head. his thumbs stroke against your skin soothingly, distracting you from your moment of anxiety. "I made sure you'd have enough time for anything like that, okay? and look I don't even need to wake you up, so you've got a few extra minutes to spare. you're okay."

you nod at his reassuring voice and for the first time since waking up in a state of confusion and panic, you feel like you can breathe properly. "okay," you smile gently, allowing a much needed exhale to escape from your heavy lungs. "i've gotta go now."

matt releases his comforting hold on your arms, shuffling backwards a few steps to give you some space. although you definitely weren't opposed to his presence so close, you now didn't have to crank your neck upwards to look at him properly. "okay," matt responds, running a hand through his sleep disheveled hair.

"thank you!" the relief you feel in that moment is like nothing else, and you finally let yourself smile properly. although, you still feel rushed thinking about everything you needed to do in the next two hours. you're just thankful matt was planning on waking you with enough time to spare. you're overcome with gratitude for matt's kind gestures spanning over the last 24 hours and you can't help yourself from showing it. quickly, you dart up on the tips of your toes, placing your hands on matt's thick chest for balance as you reach up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

matt's eyes widen with surprise, and an amused smile tugging at his mouth at your action. he looks down at you softly, but you don't catch it, too rushed in gathering yourself and heading out. "i'll see you later!"

you're out of the quick's house faster than your feet can handle, and you make it to your rental car parked in the long oval driveway in record time.

it's not until your driving away, gracie abrams voice soothing you over the radio as you turn onto the road does your brain catch up to your own actions. your mouth falls in shock.

you had kissed matt. on the cheek granted, but still. you curse yourself, holding a hand to your forehead to try and calm your rapid heart and burning skin.

-

nervously, you knaw on your thumb - nibbling on the skin around your nail bed until it becomes uncomfortable. the metallic taste on your lips is a momentary distraction from your own frantic brain. you can't stop thinking about matt - more specifically, the kiss you had smacked onto his cheek as the sun was rising.

your mind is reeling thinking about what he is making of your random burst of affection. is he weird out or uncomfortable by the kiss? did he care? did he not want to preform with you anymore? does he regret inviting you over last night?

it doesn't help that you're at the practice arena and matt hasn't shown up yet. all the other partners had been on time, and all of the skaters and respective nhl stars were already going over their routines. not you though - you waited nervously in the musky scented hallway, still tearing away at your thumb as you watched the doors.

you think that matt must be upset with you. he was late because the kiss had put him off and he was procrastinating spending time with you. your lips release your thumb and immediately you run the hand over your freshly styled hair, feeling yourself become somewhat emotional as you begin to pace the hall.

just as think to call it quits, pack up your stuff and just go home, the door swings open. matt walks in  looking slightly breathless, eyes heavy as he searches the area. he spots you rather quickly and begins to make his way over, an unreadable look on his soft features.

immediately, you start to apologize. "i'm so sorry matt! I shouldn't have kissed you - it was so rude and unprofessional of me! I can understand if you're mad at me or want a new partner." you ring your hands out nervously, eyes not once straying from his face - desperately trying to get an insight on his expression.

matt's eyebrows pull tightly towards the centre of his face, and he shakes his head confused. "what? i'm not mad at you."

you swallow, "you're not?" matt shakes his head no, and a small smile begins tugging at the one corner of his mouth.

still feeling confused and worried, you find yourself frowning, "then how come you were late?"

"am I late?" he questions curiosity, not intending to receive an answer. matt doesn't make an effort to actually check the time or anything, and he only shrugs with nonchalance- his always playful smirk growing. "I stopped at a coffee shop - do want decaf or regular?"

you blink. "what?"

he laughs once. matt puts the takeout tray down on one of the benches lining the hallway corridors, slipping the two drinks out from their respective holes. you hadn't even noticed matt had been carrying coffees until just now - when he walked in, you were too damn anxious to focus on anything. he lifts the two cups closer to you, "decaf coffee or regular coffee? I don't have a preference so i'm fine with either."

"decaf," you finally mumble. matt smiles, passing you the local cafes branded paper cup. you eye the lid, fiddling with the opening flap as you try and and attempt to collect your own scrambled thoughts. "so you're not weirded out?"

matt swallows his mouthful of coffee, "by what?"

you laugh once, tone full of disbelief. "I kissed you."

his brows raise, "yeah you did."

"i'm sorry I don't understand what's happening right now." you sort of laugh out - the confusion of the whole situation coming to a head. you press your hand to your forehead, looking towards matt through your lashes as you try and gauge his unreadable facial expression. you're not so much worried about him being angry with you now, because clearly that's not the case. he seems really casual about the whole thing, which has your stomach flipping.

"right now," matt takes a step towards you, practically pressing himself against you with his frame. his tongue slips out, wetting his bottom lip as he stares down at you. "we are having some coffee before heading out to practice our figure skating. we are also briefly discussing how you jumped me this morning and attacked me with a kiss."

his teasing and exaggerated explanation immediately has you feeling much lighter about the situation- your earlier panic dissolving. you gently scoff at him, and you can't think of anything else besides flicking him in the chest - a small punch of retaliation. "matt seriously I was panicked thinking I fucked this up."

he laughs gently, a shake of his head following suit. "no," his words are like a whisper, a gentle tone that kisses the skin of your face as he speaks. there's a twinkle in his eye, one that comes anytime he wants to push your buttons. "i'm used to your pervy antics by now." with his free hand, matt reaches towards you and fluffs your hair around, covering your face as he does.

you screech, the sound quickly forming into a giggle as you try and swat him away. it proves to be a difficult task without your vision and the use of both hands - your decaf cup still clutched tightly, liquid sloshing around as you squirm.

matt's laughter subsides and he slows to a pause - his free hand gently brushing any strayed curled hair back into its proper place. your vision is back, no longer impaired by the strands of your hair.

he swallows gently and you can feel his fingers tickling along your hairline. matt tucks some final strands comfortably behind your ear, fingers grazing the shell. your previous smile slowly fades as you watch him and his eyes that are solely focused on you. matt's hand doesn't leave the side of your face, fingers cradling your over cheek and against your ear.

you have never been so entranced by anybody like the way you are with matt. for god sakes, you've only known the guy less than a week, but there was something about him that felt so much like home - a safe space for you and your heart. it was almost scary how quickly you find yourself beginning to heal because of a man you barley know. but that's just it, you think, it feels like you've known him a lifetime.

"let's get to practicing," matt says reluctantly, pulling away from your body after stroking your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. the cool air of the arena replaced his warm embrace and you shiver gently. he places down his coffee cup beside the tray he'd earlier left on the bench, "I can see duclair's routine and it looks too good - we gotta beat him."

you breathe out with laughter, placing your cup beside matt's almost full one. "let's not forget the reason we are just starting practice is because you were late." you begin to walk with matt towards the rink, the icy scent filling your nostrils.

matt scoffs, "yeah because I got you a coffee." he steps onto the ice, immediately twirling so he's facing you. wordlessly, he helps you step out onto the ice, grabbing your hand.

"bribery will get you nowhere."

he snorts, "okay you better remember that when you try and plant another kiss on me-"

you yelp, hand coming up to cover matt's mouth before he can continue.

-

matt had absolutely blown you away. he nailed the mini figure skating routine, which not only made you feel good about your teaching abilities but also had you feeling proud of matt - his hard work and commitment to learning something new was admirable.

the feeling of finishing the routine was amazing in itself - but when matt had smiled brightly down at you before wrapping his thick arms around your waist in a hug, spinning you around (the perfect twizzle may you add) was just even more incredible. you don't even find yourself caring how the affection might look in the eyes of the camera or the thousands of fans who will be watching. you’re too happy with everything to worry.

once all the routines have been preformed, the little league team had decided that demi and dawson were the winners. although you were slightly disappointed with loosing, you heard some of the boys giggling about how 'hot' demi was and how cool it was that dawson knew jack hughes - so you weren't too concerned about your routine being lacklustre: the win wasn't decided on skill.

so although the kids didn’t declare you and matt the champions - matt's lingering touches and sweet grin had you feeling like a winner.

— Day 5

"we are not naming him rempire state building."

you pout at matt's statement and your arms tighten further around the gigantic duck plushie. "please - I love that name."

"it's not even a name." matt challenges, his laughter like a sweet melody over the rambunctious sounds of bells and coasters. he continues, "it's just my last name added onto a famous skyscraper."

you tut your tongue, "and that's just it - your last name." cradling the duck closer to your face, you rub the fluffy fur along your soft jawline. matt gives you an unimpressed look, but the smirk pulling at his lips contradicts his stare.

the wind picks up slightly, and a cool breeze comes - slipping between carnival booths and rides and sending a chill over your exposed skin. shivering, you hug the duck plushie closer, attempting to warm yourself up.

the goosebumps on your skin have you wishing you’d brought some kind of jacket. that has you thinking back to only a few hours ago, when matt texted you.

matt rempe

hey, beecher and drysdale wanted to take you, shay and emilia out to the carnival tonight for your last night in new york!

matt rempe

also as like a huge thank you for putting up with our annoying asses for the past week

matt rempe

please say yes to me or ill cry

y/n y/l/n

big baby

y/n y/l/n

i'd love to go to the carnival with you

matt rempe

i'll pick you up in 30

matt rempe

and bring a jacket, it's supposed to get cold

obviously, you forgot a jacket. the wind continues its gnarly sweep, and the summer night temperature drop has you thinking of fall weather. you subconsciously seak human warmth and you shuffle in close, tucking yourself into matt's side.

matt chuckles knowingly at your shivering. he picks out some of the fluffy cotton candy he'd be keeping in his hoodie pocket - letting the sticky desert melt on his tongue. "I told you to bring a jacket."

"I forgot." you're pouting again, tucking your face into the duck.

matt swallows the treat in his mouth, and his steps decrease in speed as he comes to a slow stop. wordlessly, he pulls off his black sweatshirt, and he holds it out to you. "here."

"I don't want you to be cold." you say timidly, your eyes darting between the article of clothing and matt’s expectant eyes.

"I don't want you to be cold," he laughs softly, furthering his gesture. "give me perv so you can put the hoodie on."

you eye him. the real reason matt didn't want to name your beloved stuffed duck that he'd won at one of the balloon popping games rempire state building was because he wanted to name it perv. immediately you expressed your disagreement- you were not naming the cute stuffed duck perv.

regardless, you hand him the duck in exchange for the article of clothing. the cool summer air has you further feeling chilled and you don't waste anymore time. you pull on the sweatshirt, and immediately your enveloped by the lingering body heat and smell of matt. "thanks."

he smiles, passing back the stuffed animal which you immediately begin hugging tightly once again. matt reaches into the pocket of now your hoodie, pulling out the bag of cotton candy so he can further snack as you begin to start walk along again.

"I think you should rethink the name perv," he pitches between chewing, his arm brushes against your shoulder as you both leisurely stroll the fairgrounds. "it's cute."

"it's not cute," you squawk, "it's quite literally perverted." reaching towards him, you reach into the plastic bag and rip off some of the blue cotton candy. plopping it on your tongue, your fingers become sticky as it melts, and you suck the crystallized candy clean off.

matt watches hazily and he swallowing thickly. clearing his throat, his eyes find the crowd infront of him once again, distracting himself with the busy grounds. "you're no fun." he says after a pause, and he side eyes you playfully with a smirk on his face. "just wanted to name it after you."

you laugh loudly and steal some more cotton candy from the mixed bag. "that makes it worse! why you insist on calling me perv is way beyond me."

suddenly, beecher throws his arm around your shoulders, coming up behind you with shay hot on his heels. it scares you momentarily, but you have no chance to scold him as john starts steering you towards the other side of the carnival grounds. "we're all doing that."

to accentuate his words, he points towards the neon lights of the laser tag sign. it lights up the dusk fallen fair - hues of green, blue, and red covering your body as john guides you towards the pop-up.

"oh god," shay all but whines from behind you, her feet dragging. "I suck at laser tag." she states once you’re all standing at the end of the lineup, her dark lips forming into a pout.

john's arm leaves your shoulders so he can turn towards shay - presumably to pester her about her lack of enthusiasm.

matt pulls on the pocket of your (his) sweatshirt, tugging you towards him and eliminating the little bit of space that was between you. you hold your breath with anticipation, letting matt practically manhandle you as he tucks you into his torso. he looks down at you with a playful expression, "you've played laser tag before?"

matt’s possessive handling from just moments ago has your adrenaline running and you’re not sure if you can form a coherent sentence. you shake your head no, glancing up towards matt through your dark lashes. clearing your throat, you ask, "is it hard?"

he smirks, "you'll be fine."

you're definitely not fine. you’ve since discovered that laser tag is not your forte, and to make it worse, matt got put on the opposite team with shay, emilia and jamie. you had beecher on your team, but he was no help. you haven't seen him since the beginning of the game when he started to run away from you - shouting about he had the perfect snipping spot.

the laser tag gun is heavier than you expected, and you keep having to dodge acne prone teenagers who have their sights set on targeting you.

the light up vest you have to wear is hurting your shoulders, the rough material rubbing against your skin uncomfortably with every move you take. the neon signs are providing the only light source in the space, and you keep have to squint to get a proper look at your surroundings.

for what feels like the hundredth time, you peek around the corner you've been hiding behind, trying to look through the shadows to make sure the coast is clear. you want to at least make it to the other side of the course before the game ended. a shadow dashes by, quick on their feet. you hold your breath, trying to stay still to not get caught. just when you think you're in the clear, the silhouette turns to you and darts behind your corner.

the lighting above adjusts, flashing a dark blue. you continue to hold your breath with anticipation and prepare for the stranger to shoot your target and eliminate you. the light moves over their face, and you can finally see them properly. instantly, you breathe out with relief.

matt's smirk makes your stomach feel warm as he looks down at you, his laser gun hanging loosely at his side. "how's it going?" he asks playfully. matt reaches towards your vest, teasingly tugging on the arm opening.

you huff with exhaustion and let the gun you’d be dripping for dear life fall to your side. "I haven't gotten a single target because i've been too scared to move - I don't think i've left this corner in 10 minutes. and these kids from your team, by the way, keep trying to find me."

matt chuckles lowly, his teeth igniting underneath the blacklight above. "I know - they keep talking about trying to get out the 'hottie'" he air quotes with his fingers, mimicking their words.

you pull an uncomfortable face, and a strangled whine passes through your lips, your eyes closing with a combination of embarrassment and annoyance. "i'm toast."

the sounds of running shoes stomping on the ground and children's laughter grows louder, signalling that they were getting closer to your hiding spot. your eyes widen.

quickly, matt wraps an arm around the dip of your waist and he pulls you against his chest. he spins you both around so that you're pressed further against the wall, deeper in the corner. you're both completely enveloped in darkness, and you can only make out the silhouette of matt’s features.

your mouth opens, but your words immediately dir on your tongue. quietly, matt shushes you with a playful quirk to an eyebrow, the top of his index finger brushing along your bottom lip to further his point.

all you can muster is a slow nod in response, as you’re too overwhelmed by the feeling of matt all over you to form any words. the way his strong chest flush was against your breasts, and his hips pushing against the pudgy part of your stomach. matt's arm is still tightly nestled around your waist, and he makes no move to change that.

you can only hope that he can't feel your rapid heartbeat or staggered breathing - the nerves you was currently experiencing were just downright embarrassing.

"this may be a bad time," matt's voice is barley audible over the sound of the post malone song playing over the speakers and the distant sounds of people laughing and talking. "but you smell really good."

you tilt your head farther back to and properly look at him. your chin practically presses to his chest as you do, reminding you of just how tall he is. "what?" you whisper meekly in question.

"all I can smell is your shampoo," a faint smirk appears at the corner of matt's mouth. "I can't help it, your head is right under my nose."

you were adorably struck, a little smile beginning to grow on your lips. "so what you're trying to say is you've been sniffing me?"

he huffs out a laugh, "no - it's just a strong scent."

you swallow gently, blinking slowly. between you bodies, your hand begins to tingle with numbness, and you slowly maneuver it out- pressing your palm flat shading matt’s stomach. you fight the urge to clutch the material of his soft shirt in your hands - wanting to grasp as much of him as you could.

matt jerks slightly, and his eyes meet yours through the dark. his adam apple moves as he swallows thickly, and you can feel his fingers flex around the softness of your waist.

you breath quickens, and you drop the laser gun to the ground. matt doesn’t flinch at the sounds, his eyes never leaving your face. now with your hand free, you let it slide along the side of matt’s torso, slowly tickling him with your nails. you need him in every way possible. you need his laughter, and his teasing smiles, and his touch, and you desperately need his kiss.

you lick your lips slowly, your tongue making sure all creases are moistened. “matt,” you whisper with vulnerability. this time, you don’t fight your own urges, and you let your fingers take whole of his shirt, keeping him pressed to you. “being with you is healing my heart.”

a genuine smile takes over matt’s face - not one of his slay playful or teasing smiles, but a real one. his eyes hold admiration, darting between your face as if he can’t decide which feature of yours to look at. at some point, he must have also abandoned his gun - the hand he was using to hold it now reaching towards your face. matt holds your cheek tenderly, thumb pushing some hair off your face and holding it to your ear.

“I see her!” the shrill voice of a pre-teen yells out from behind some faux rock structure.

matt pulls away quickly and bends down to grab his laser gun. it has you blinking hard, shaking your head to try and clear the fog that had clouded there within the last few minutes. your skin is on fire, and your aching all over. thoughts of matt now feel impossible to not have.

you lean down to grab your own abandoned gun. as you stand back up, you’re met with the familiar teasing eyes of matt, and he’s borderline laughing to himself. he’s got his laser gun pointed at you, the stream of red light directly hitting your target.

"matt," you warn, "don't even think about it." although you’re pleading, you can help the giggling that falls from your mouth along with your words. you can’t even form the thought of shooting him first, too wrapped up in the attention of right now.

matt cocks his head playfully, "think about what?" he questions you brightly, gun still aiming directly at your glowing vest.

you take off, running back out into the main area of the course. you can feel matt hot on your heels, and the adrenaline of it all has you shrieking in laughter as you try and escape him.

usually after such an intense moment with somebody, you were unable to shake off the shaking feelings and tension that came with it. but with matt, you’re immediately moving forward. the comfortability you’re experiencing with him is something you’d never believed in. honestly, you never really though friendship could exist in romantic interests.

if their was anything you learned from you ex, it was that relationships were meant for sex, lying, and deception. now you know that’s not what a relationship means and having trust, fun, and friendship is the only kind of relationship foundation you deserved.

— Three Weeks Later

opening your email to find a thank you from the nhl social admin team a week after arriving home was a nice surprise. the mass email was inviting you and the other figure skaters to an all expenses paid trip to new york, where you'd get to watch the rangers home opener.

the way your stomach flipped at the thought of seeing matt again was so sensational. you weren't aware that it was possible for you to miss somebody as much as you did him.

the morning after the arcade, matt has insisted on driving you to the train station after he helped you return the rental car. he didn’t want you to pay for an uber, and frankly you didn’t feel like it either. the goodbye hurt you, and you remember your throat feeling scratchy with emotions while he hugged you. matt had pulled back, momentarily eyeing your soft lips….and then the train started to board and you had to leave matt and new york behind.

your chest clenches at the thought, but instead of pain that had been tugging at your heart- it was beating for a whole knew reason.

you accepted the trip offer immediately and you were already planning on what you’d wear to your first ever hockey game - nothing to do with wanting to look your best for your crush…totally not.

briefly, you think about texting matt to tell him about the trip you’d be making, but you ultimately hesitate. you don't want to affect his play or focus in the rangers home opener. if all he can think about is you watching in the crowd, it could negatively impact his game. long story short, you’d hate to be the reason he feels overwhelmed.

you had texted shay soon after responding to the email invite, and she had excitedly told you she’d be making the way down from pittsburgh to be there. thankfully, shay was up to date on your ongoing feelings for matt, so the together the two of you brainstormed over text, ways to suprise matt.

your stomach was spinning with excitement for the remainder of weeks before you’d be with matt again.

—

hockey games were turning out to be more fun than you initially expected. the fans around you were all so enthusiastic and cheerful that you couldn’t help but join in. shay and you had been chanting and jumping for three whole periods. anytime the rangers scored the building became electric, and you understood why the players would thrive off that feeling.

like planned, with only 5 minutes remaining in the third and final period of the game, rangers leading 6-2, you opened the camera on your cell phone. first, you and shay smiled brightly for a picture, both of you wearing your blue and red rangers memorabilia. the second picture was the ice, capturing the players zipping around from 15 rows up the stands.

y/n y/l/n

*attached: two images

hey I think shay and I got lost? can you

help us identify this arena ??

the period ends soon after, and you and shay wait a few minutes for the majority of the crowd to disperse. then, using your passes gifted from the nhl social administration team, you both make your way towards the players tunnels.

your phone buzzes.

matt rempe

what?

matt rempe

are you seriously here?

instantly, you’re smiling and the butterflies fluttering around your belly increase by thousands. you lean back against the cool wall to keep yourself from buckling forward - knees going weak with anticipation.

y/n y/l/n

come out of the locker room and find out

a couple of long, antagonizing minutes pass before you see matt. he walks out of the locker room, appearing from behind the grand new york rangers branded doors. his eyes dart through the cluster of his teammates, their families and staff collected in the waiting area - eyes frantically searching for you.

like gravity, your eyes finally lock. instantly, your mouth morphs into a smile, and you push off the stone wall so that you're once again standing upright. you pocket your cellphone in your jeans back pocket, and your cheeks burn with warmth.

matt pushes his way through the crowd, apologies tumbling off his lips quickly as he rushes through the room to try and get to you.

shay mentions something about seeing you back at the hotel room, but you can’t even fathom her words. as matt gets closer to you, you can feel your body spin with excitement - it's all so different from anything you've felt before. it’s refreshing and feels just so right.

finally, matt gets through everyone and he finally reaches you. instantly, he grabs ahold of your flushed cheeks with his large hands. the smell of arena shower soap fills your senses, and your grin triples in size. the scent is so familiar- so matt.

he doesn't say anything to you, but he does lean down and connects your lips together. it feels so right. it feels like he’s the puzzle piece you’d been missing, or the feeling you’d get when you’d find your airpods after months of looking everywhere - kissing matt feels like decaf coffee and the rush of figure skating and the most beautiful song lyrics.

you didn't know kissing could be so pleasant. the way matt's lips caress yours and skillfully slip along yours have you melting into a sticky puddle.

you sigh into his mouth, and your own hands reach out to touch him. they slip into the opening of his his suit jacket, resting on the sides of his strong torso.

matt’s back is bent forward in a way that's borderline uncomfortable, and soon his upper back will start to burn from the strain - but matt didn't care. he had missed you so much…more than he's ever missed anybody in his entire life. the feeling was so unbelievably foreign to him, but he never wanted it to go away - never wanted you to go away.

your lips separate for a second, and you take the opportunity to catch your breath. you chest is heaving along with matt’s but that doesn’t stop him for almost immediately leaning back in - pressing two more much softer kisses to your glistening lips.

one of his teammates whistle teasingly in the room, but you can't even hear it - the only sounds in your ears is the pumping of your own blood, and matt’s breathy groans against you.

he pulls away and a slow, flirtatious smirk crawls its way across matt's flushed face. his thumbs gently run along the indent of your cheekbones, a soothing feeling contrasting your frantic heart. "I should've done that the moment I met you." he breathes the confession.

your laughter was a familiar and welcoming melody, dancing through the crowded room and filling matt's chest with joy. "that would've been ridiculous, matt." you tell him honestly, hugging his torso and resting your chin on his chest.

"yeah," he agrees with a playful gleam, "but that's how long i've been meaning to do it. I haven't stopped thinking about since the moment I saw you in the meeting room last month. when you left on that train, I thought I was going to fall to my knees in agony.”

his dramatics have you rolling your eyes, but you’re grinning nonetheless. “you’re such a-“

“little shit?” matt interrupts knowingly.

you shake your head, “charmer.”

the air between you turns thick once again. matt leans back down towards you, and he captures your mouth in another breath stealing kiss.

he pulls back an inch, eyes still closed as he rests his forehead against yours. “can I confess something really charming?”

you giggle. “oh god, what is it?”

“I don’t even like coffee - only bought two that day so you’d have options.” he smirks playfully.

“little shit.”

matt blows a raspberry to the space between your neck and shoulder, erupting a shriek from you as you try to escape his tickling lips.

you'd make the long distance work - you'd both work together to make your new connection work from different cities. although, you think it can't be too difficult. if you can manage to fall for a stranger with a broken heart, just imagine how much you can accomplish with a healed one.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[cherry-romper]

Loving You Sounds Like a Song

Playlist

+ Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Iida, Momo, Jirou, Mina, Ochaco, Asui, Mirio, Amajiki, Aizawa, Hawks, All Might, Dabi, Twice, Compress, Shiguraki

Midoriya; Head over Heels - Tears For Fears

I wanted to be with you alone

I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?

Something happens and I'm head over heels

One little boy, one little man - funny how time flies

Bakugou; Everlong - Foo Fighters

I've waited here for you, Everlong

Come down, And waste away with me

Breathe out, So I can breathe you in

And I wonder...if everything could ever feel this real forever.

You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

Todoroki; Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Rey

Give peace a chance, Let the fear you have fall away

Say yes to heaven, Say yes to me

If you go, I'll stay, You come back, I'll be right here

And if you fight, I'll fight

I've got my mind on you

Kirishima; Lover - Taylor Swift

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Kaminari; NEON - DPR LIVE

Your kisses make it go neon

Neon, I want to know you

Neon, lose the night with you

Girl, I'm liking your body, but more than that I love your, uh

Colourful smile, you make me wonder what's under, uh

The way you make the light go blurry

Sero; Coast - Hailee Steinfeld

You the wave upon my ocean, pounding rhythm and motion

Just relax and let the riptide pull you close

Baby, all I wanna do is coast, with you

The starts come down, you drown 'em out

I'm sinking deeper into you

Iida; This Charming Man - The Smiths

Will nature make a man of me?

Why pamper life's complexity, When the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care"

A jumped up pantry boy, Who never knew his place

Momo; You've Got The Love - Florence + The Machine

I know I can count on you

But you've got the love I need to see me through

When my food is gone you are my daily meal

When friends are gone I know my saviour's love is real

Jirou; Wait a Minute! - WILLOW

I'm here right now, with you

I'll run my hands through you hair

You wanna run your fingers through mine

You left your diary at my house, And I read those pages, Do you really love me, baby?

Mina; DESERT EAGAL - Beyonce

Soft to the touch, let you hold somethin'

Soft kisses on some fat lips

Put on a show and make it nasty, Desert Eagle in the backseat

Oh, I keep it classy, let you love me like a lady, yeah

Ochaco; Strawberry Skies - Kid Travis

Girl you brighten up my world

Cant you tell I want you by my side?

We're gone with the wind, Hair in your face, Put my hand on your waist

Strawberry skies, all on your lips, 'cause I love how it taste

Hope that you catch me when I fall

Asui; Honey - Kehlani

I like my girls just like I like my honey, sweet, A little selfish

'Cause I'm a beautiful wreck, A colourful mess, but I'm funny

All the pretty girls in the world, But I'm in this space with you

Don't walk away, or would you wait for me?

Isn't love all we need? Is it love?

Mirio; I can't Help Myself - Four Tops

You know that I love you, I cant help myself

I love you and nobody else

Leaving just your picture behind, And I kissed it a thousand times

When you snap your figure or wink your eye, I come running too you

But every time I see your face, I get choked up inside.

Amajiki; Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish

But in my dreams I seem to be more honest, And I must admit, you've been in quite a few

But you're all it takes for me to break a promise

Silly me to fall in love with you

Midnight for me is 3AM for you

I was good at feeling nothing, now I'm hopeless

Aizawa; Adore You - Harry Styles

I get so lost inside your eyes, Would you believe it?

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

I'd walk through fire for you, Just let me adore you

Hawks; Where u Goin' Tonight? - Mac Ayres

Just don't stand so close to me... Unless tonight, you'll be my only

All of the things I tried to keep low, Feeling like I been changing

Tell me where you goin' tonight? I'll meet you there if that's alright

Could I be the one to do the things that you like?

Burnt all my bridges, baby, But at least I'm staying warm

I been working on forgiveness, Said I don't think its catching on

All Might; I Was Made For Lovin' You - KISS

Tonight I wanna give it all to you

'Cause girl, I was made for you, And girl, you were made for me

Can you get enough of me?

Feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild

Dabi; LET THE WORLD BURN - Chris Grey

It's dangerous 'cause I want it all, And I don't think I care what it costs

I shouldn't have fallen in love, Look what it made me become

And I know you think you can run

But I just cant let you go

I'd let the world burn, Let the world burn for you

This is how it always had to end, If I cant have you then no one can

Twice; Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil

There ain't a think that you can do that's going to ruin my night

This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy

Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway

Ill burn your name into my throat

What's so good about picking up the pieces?

Mr. Compress; Never Ever Getting Rid of me - From Waitress

I will never let you let me leave, I promise I'm not lying

I'm gonna do this right, Show you I'm not moving, Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow

I'm gonna love you so, You'll learn what I already know, I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me

Shigaraki; No Mercy - DeathByRomy

My boy hates everybody but me

He's sinister, but to me, he's sweet

In love with a monster, Daddy thinks I've lost it

My boy's a bullet in your brain, I show no mercy

Your nightmare is the man of my dreams

It turns me on when he makes you bleed

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - PLAYLIST & SYNOPSIS

A/N: an introduction to my next series, which will start coming out in a couple weeks once i finish too lost in you, get hyped girlies!!! this story will not be as angsty as the last one (i mean we'll see in the end) and will have more fluff, paige will be a lovergirl basically. let me know if you wanna be tagged in part 1

Synopsis: Born and raised London girl Izara had it all, a well paying PR job, a charming townhouse in Zone 2, her charismatic fiancé Jasper putting food on the table for her. With a wedding to plan and parents expecting grandchildren any moment, the always planning ahead, type A, sensible Zari does the first unsensible thing of her life - she leaves everything behind for a job as a social media producer for the Dallas Wings. Zari and the other newcomer, the basketball prodigy Paige Bueckers find comfort in each other trying to adapt to life in their new hometown. While Zari teaches Paige about classic literature, cooking and the art of slowing down, the blonde makes it her duty to teach the chronic "good girl" how to break some rules and live for every moment instead of wallowing in the past or the future. In the meantime their connection grows too intense to ignore, but the ever worrying Zari fears the closeness Paige craves, sworn to not get involved with anyone till the scars of her past have healed.

PLAYLIST

Taylor Swift - So It Goes… “I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose, You know I'm not a bad girl, But I do bad things with you, so it goes” Taylor Swift - champagne problems “”She would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head” they said” Sonder - What You Heard “Girl, you wouldn't have to worry 'bout a damn thing, If I was up in it, shit, I bet a pound that I'd put it down, Make you forget that you was ever with him” The Weeknd - Acquainted  “You got me puttin' time in, time in, Nobody got me feeling this way, You probably think I'm lying, lying, I'm used to bitches comin' right 'way” Taylor Swift - So Long, London “I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place, For so long, London, Had a good run, A moment of warm sun, But I'm not the one” Phoebe Bridgers - Graceland Too “Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment, Ate a sleeve of saltines on my floor, and I knew then, I would do anything you want me to, I would do anything for you” Olivia Rodrigo - so american “And he laughs at all my jokes, And he says I'm so American. Oh, God, it's just not fair of him, To make me feel this much” Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer “And I snuck in through the garden gate, Every night that summer, just to seal my fate, And I screamed, "For whatever it's worth, I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"” Halsey - Drive “It's so simple but we can't stay, Overanalyze again, would it really kill you if we kissed?” Taylor Swift - Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince “It's you and me, there's nothing like this, Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince, We're so sad, we paint the town blue, Voted most likely to run away with you” Floetry - Say Yes “All you got to do is say yes, Don't deny what you feel, let me undress you, babe, Open up your mind and just rest, I'm about to let you know, you make me so” The Neighbourhood - Flawless “Your only flaw, you are flawless, But I just can't wait for love to destroy us” Lil Wayne - Love Me “She wake up, eat this dick, Call that breakfast in bed, 69, 96, I feel her heartbeat, I chest to chest with this bitch, Now turn around, face down, I'm arrestin' this bitch” Miguel - Adorn “Baby, these fists will always protect ya, lady, And this mind, will never neglect you” Catfish and The Bottlemen - Heathrow “Love her from the get-go, Pick her up from Heathrow, Whenever she needs me, Watch her on the West End, Pepper up her best friends, Whenever she needs me” Arctic Monkeys - No.1 Party Anthem “The look of love, the rush of blood, The "She's with me" is the Gallic shrug”

[delusional-day-dreamer]

First. Love. Part¹ - p.b

playlist. next part.

‣ paige bueckers x oc (reader?, tbh i'm not sure how it works!)

‣ wc: 1790

‣‣ synopsis: people say in life, you have your FIRST love and your first LOVE, but what if paige was both?

‣‣‣ a/n: y'all i'm SO SORRY for my inactivity, summer classes and morning practices are awful. i promise i will try to release more fics on a more regular basis. For the sake of the FICTIONAL story, pazzi simply does not exist, they are best friends but denied the rumors during azzi's freshmen year and she has a boyfriend. Songs that are underlined are linked to tiktok covers just because I love them!

Us Weekly : Tuesday June 13th, 2023

Just this friday, upcoming singer-songwriter Jenna Smyths performs her own song, Means Something and an instrumental cover of Holy Ground by Taylor Swift at BBC Live Lounge to introduce her soon to be released debut album, Eternal Us (not my most creative moment I know 😔). The young singer has just graduated from UCLA after completing her three-year Bachelor's Degree with a double major, her focus being Business Economics with a minor in Film, Television, and Digital Media.

This Friday was Jenna's first televised performance, and her constantly sold out small-venue concerts have been applauded all over social media and by celebrities for her vocal maturity, depth and intricacy within her song lyrics, and her ability to convey raw emotion through her performances. However, this song cover was announced by the singer-songwriter to be particularly special to her, as she mentions that this song "brings back specific memories".

The twenty-one year old kept her composure throughout both songs, yet fans on various media platforms have pointed out Jenna's seemingly tear filled eyes during Holy Ground. The artist addresses the emotions she felt during the song during her first appearance on the Jimmy Fallon Show after performing her first released single, Promise, which is prominently featured as it’s one of her most popular singles.

The Tonight Show: Monday June 12th, 2023 "Please welcome to The Tonight Show, Jenna Smyths," Jimmy introduced you as you walked onto the set of the show, the live audience cheering loudly as you took your seat on the couch.

"Thank you so much Jimmy, it's such an honor to be here, sitting on this sacred couch," you joked, bringing some of your recently curled hair over your shoulder in hopes of disguising any traces of anxiety the crowd or camera may pick up. Thankfully, it worked as you heard the stir of laughter on set, allowing you to relax further into the couch, it actually was quite comfortable.

"It's incredible that we have you sitting here, I mean almost two years ago you blew up on TikTok for your incredible song covers, and then you started playing live in a bunch of LA venues, then you started releasing your own music, and now you're a UCLA Alumni sitting here," as he summed up your rise to fame, the audience began another round of applause.

"Oh my gosh I know right," you giggled, overjoyed that the audience was showing so much support towards you and that your first big interview was going so well. "I swear it was like two weeks ago I was singing on TikTok and then freaking out about my notifications and somehow I just teleported here," you laughed off the slight tinge you felt in your heart.

College had gone by far too quickly, and you were constantly consumed with stress regarding your future. Up until a few weeks ago, you had no idea what you were going to do with your life. What if your album flopped? What if you never made it big? How would you move on and get a regular job from there?

"Yes yes, I remember seeing some of your earliest covers on tiktok. In fact," a smirk appeared on his face, he clearly had something hiding up his sleeve. "We just so happen to have a little video edited together of your old covers, for old times' sake just to show how far you've come," he laughed at the nervous expression on your face and the crowd's enthusiasm.

"Oh god, some of those are from questionable times," you mumbled, raising your right hand to slightly cover your mouth as the video played.

Clips of you singing in your old college apartment bedroom appeared, switching in between guitar covers and piano while singing Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, We Can't Be Friends by Ariana Grande (yes pretend it was out at the time), Bags by Clairo, to the Man Who Can't Be Moved, and a few others. You watched your younger self, heartbroken and healing, singing songs to post on the internet just for your friends to watch, and yet somehow your voice had reached millions of people.

"Well you can see it here clear as day folks, Jenna has clearly always had a knack for those gut-wrenching songs, the ones that make you wonder if you're depressed or the artist is just incredibly good at what they do," you knew he was introducing your live performance with this, sneakily rubbing your sweaty palms over your jeans. You weren't nearly as scared as your BBC performance, but the combination of fear and adrenaline before any performance was overwhelming compared to logic at times.

"So what do you guys say, because I think we need to hear it live to determine which one it truly is," the small crowd erupted at Jimmy's rhetoric, eager to watch your performance.

"Well when you ask so nicely how could I ever refuse Jimmy?" You grinned, standing up to make your way over to the performance area with the live band.

With your guitar in your hands, you let the unique sense of calmness and security wash over you as you adjusted the mic in front of you. Music had always been one of the biggest parts in your life, and even know it never failed you. Not in your best moments, and not even in your worse.

"This is Promise from my new album, Eternal Us, out June 30th"

***Post-performance part of the interview***

"Jenna, you know I have to ask you this, because so far the songs on your album, your covers, and even your performance at the BBC Live Lounge were all fairly depressing songs," Jimmy insists. The two of you had been joking and answering the interview questions with a sense of ease after the performance aspect of the show. The audience was eating up the playful energy the two of you seemed to have, despite the twenty-seven year age gap.

"Please, ask away Jimmy," you quipped, enjoying your time on the show. The steady laughter from the live audience had long soothed any remaining nerves. Growing up, you always felt as if you were born to perform, and this type of live interview was right up your alley.

"And I swear I'm being serious with this, but does the emotion in your music affect you the same it affects your listeners? Because after your cover of Holy Ground aired, you blew up on social media even more then you were before. But one of the things your fans noticed was that it looked like you were gonna cry?" Jimmy inquired, you could hear small murmurs from the audience section at his question, no doubt intrigued to hear your answer.

"You know Jimmy," you began, "Honestly it was just a heat of the moment kinda thing. Like obviously I changed the song in a different key and sang it that way intentionally you know? Taylor is known for her ability to write the most gut-wrenching lyrics and then syncing them up to a catchy beat in a pop song and boom, it's a hit," you explained to both him and the crowd.

"But when I was offered the opportunity to go on BBC Live Lounge and I was trying to decide what song to cover, the lyrics of the song just really stuck out to me in a personal way and I wanted to convey to my listeners the emotions I felt reading and experiencing the lyrics, not listening to it as an upbeat pop song. But don't get me wrong, it's an incredible song just the way it is!" You ended your ramble enthusiastically, trying your best to not delve into the deeper emotions laced within your statement.

"Of course, I mean it was your first televised performance and to a Taylor Swift song no less, but this song has a very meaning to it, unlike some of Taylor's other doctorate-level essay worthy songs you could spend hours analyzing," Jimmy jokes, lightening the mood as always before asking the hard hitting question you had been dreading the entire interview.

"Why did you choose to sing a song about reminiscing of a past relationship, an ex lover if you will. I mean, a good majority of your songs follow the heartbroken post-breakup theme, but the media isn't aware of any relationships you may or may not have had during your time at UCLA, was there someone before?" He questions.

"You're right, I didn't have any actual relationships while at UCLA. My only serious relationship was during my last two years of high school, and a lot of my songs I'm releasing now were written during that time or even earlier, I've just polished them a lot. And of course, my earliest covers are from my freshman year of college, so the wound was still pretty fresh you know?" You skimmed over the topic, keeping the discussion as light-hearted as possible.

"Oh my god, all of that was from one person?" Jimmy jokes, unaware of how hard his statement hits home for you.

"Yeah I mean, I guess your first love will just do that to you, you know?" You joked back. You refused, refused, to let Paige Bueckers affect you in this way on national television. It had been three years for god's sake, you needed to get a grip of yourself.

"Well, they must have been one heck of a first love to be such a long-lasting muse for you," Jimmy pried, and you could tell he was waiting for you to give more details about your relationship.

"Nah nah, cut the cameras, I think we're out of time for tonight right," you nervously laughed, jokingly leaning over to gesture in an over the top manner to the camera crew to stop filming, which roused hefty laughter around set at your antics.

"Don't worry Jenna, we'll leave that topic for next time yeah?" Jimmy chuckled at your immediate refusal, using his perfected charm to continue the interview without any bumps or awkward conversations.

Before you knew it, the interview had been long over and you were laying in your hotel's bedroom. In your opinion, the NYC suite was luxurious and was far too large for just one person to reside. But fortunately for you, you were used to the sense of loneliness you felt in the empty room. To think that you were only a few hours away from Paige, your first love, your first everything, and yet you had never felt more separated from a person you used to love with your whole being.

Thank you for reading all the way through! Part 2 of So High School will be out soon I promise, this series just happened to randomly inspire me and I want to finish it asap before I lose motivation or hit writer's block!

[nikkisheep]

To Be Alone With You (Part Six)

Anthony Bridgerton x female!Sharma!sister reader

Benedict Bridgerton x female!Sharma!sister reader

Warnings: improper alone time (Ben & reader), sexual tension, me as a writer questioning if I want Ben or Anthony to be the end ship, kissing, male nudity, reader fences Benedict (I know nothing about fencing so I'm sorry if this is bad), semi-smut, handjob, hair pulling

*One of the longer chapters

Summary: You spend more time with a certain Bridgerton brother and start to question whether you could be happy with Benedict rather than Anthony.

Playlist:

Labyrinth by Taylor Swift

If Only by Dove Cameron

Back to the Start by Somo

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey (Maybe not a good choice, just depends)

Tag List: @shealuna , @m-rae23 , @littlepeanut03 , @aellabridgerton @sydney-m, @faatxma , @wildthoughtnananna @uraesthete, @themadhattersqueen, @theroyalmanatee, @urfavnoirette, @budugu, @helen06dreamer, @galactict3a, @imagineme2you. @sabii5, @anehkael, @aesthetic0cherryblossom, @lxovesgy, @lemonwithstupidity, @luvwithau, @stvrdustalexx, @jess4rush, @tallrock35, @msrawog

Not many nights had passed since the ball and you were being invited to the Bridgerton house by Daphne, or at least you thought. The days following the ball had been crazy as you were having numerous suitors calling on you because they thought the viscount had forgotten your sister and set his mind on you. Not that it was completely wrong, but you were not talking to Anthony and would not do so until the wedding which was to be in about a month. Not that you were keeping up for when you would have to walk down the aisle, not in a white dress.

Upon your arrival to the Bridgerton home, you were wandering around the house trying to find something interesting. You wandered to the garden and sat under a tree. The refreshing wind cooled you as the tree limbs were shading you away from the harsh sun. You close your eyes and listen to the sounds of nature. Soon, rushed footsteps and shouts had called your attention and you decided to follow it.

---

Benedict and Colin were fencing, and it looked like Colin was winning this match. Benedict was sweating in his fencing uniform and a bead of sweat slowly drips down the side of his face and disappears under his collar.

"Are you going to just stand there and stare or are you going to come over?" Benedict called out, snapping you out of the trance-like state you were in.

"How long have you boys been fencing?" You ask, shielding your eyes from the sun.

"About an hour," Colin smirked, watching you watch Benedict. "I actually have grown quiet tired."

"Would you like me to take over, Mr. Bridgerton?" You asked, hands folded together in front of your waist.

"Do they teach you girls how to fence during your lessons?"

"No, but I have seen my cousins do it."

"You are quiet aware that fencing is a man's sport, Miss Sharma," Benedict said, pushing you. He knew that you would see it as a challenge and it was, the results were exactly what he wanted.

"Rule number one, Mr. Bridgerton, do not underestimate a woman."

Colin mentions your clothing and you realized that it would be harder to move in your dress. You press your lips into a thin line before deciding to walk to the shed. Once inside, you look through the wardrobe inside, finding a pair of fencing clothes. You pull at the buttons of your dress, slipping out of the many layers, including your corset. Putting on the trousers felt odd but they were quite comfortable, more so than your corset.

Coming out of the shed, you walk to the boys again, pushing the leftover shirt into the trousers. You gave them a twirl and beamed brightly.

"Well, don't they fit lovely?" You smiled.

"Yes...yes they do," Benedict looked at the sky, not trying to hide that he couldn't look at you. Your shirt wasn't completely buttoned and Benedict was struggling not to look.

"Are you all right, brother?" Colin asked, a teasing grin creeping onto his face.

"I am quite well, you need not to worry about me brother."

You move closer to him and press you hand against his forehead and felt his temperature. Your breathes mixed in front of you, your chest was practically pressed against his. Benedict's first instinct was to lean in for a kiss, you were intoxicating to him, but as soon as he went to slightly move, he pulled away.

"Shall we return to fencing?" He spoke into the silent garden.

All while Colin was just sitting on the bench, watching the interaction between his brother and the love of his other brother's life.

---

Colin eventually leaves the garden because the heat nearly made him pass out. As you were fencing Benedict, he kept talking as a distraction, and it was working.

"Darling, are you prepared for the art lesson that I have planned for us?" He asked.

"Can't make it, Mr. Bridgerton," You said. "I have a tea party with Daphne. She sent me an invitation letter."

"That was me," He said, tapping you on your left side.

"Benedict, did you invite me here to teach me art or something else?"

The two of you stepped closer, leaving the fencing weapons on the ground. His hands came to rest on your hips, looking around the garden quickly before turning back to you.

"Did you or did you not come here for an art lesson and nothing more?" He asked, dipping his mouth to the underside of your jaw.

"I came here thinking that I would be having tea with your sister," You gasp when his teeth graze your skin. "Benedict, someone will see."

"Let them see," He said. "You should be mine."

Your head tips backwards as his mouth continues the assault on your neck. You let out a moan and he pulls away, placing his index finger over your mouth, making a shhh-ing sound.

"Quiet darling, do you want me to stop?"

You shook you head.

"Words or I will stop."

"I don't want you to stop, Mr. Bridgerton."

His mouth pressed against yours in a searing kiss, lips moving in sync and his hand moves down to your bottom. He walks you over to the bench that Colin had been sitting and he sat you down, bending down to kiss you, never wanting your lips to leave his. You pull back, pressing your hand against his chest and try to catch your breath.

"Stop...stop, we shouldn't do this," You whisper as his mouth chases yours. He is in a kneeling position and his hand is on your hips, covered by your trousers.

"We shouldn't, but we want to and who are we to deny our desires?" He pants.

"Benedict."

---

Making it to his art studio, you laugh at his rain soaked clothes. You were still in your fencing clothes and your dress was in Benedict's hands. You brace yourself against a table, smiling as your hair clung to your face and neck. You were breathtaking in Benedict's mind. How Anthony did not see how truly beautiful you were was beyond him.

"Shall we get to drawing?" He asked, breaking the silence in the cooler room.

"Yes," You said. "I was wondering if I could draw you?"

He nodded and moved to the couch. You shook your head, motioning him to come over to you.

"How do you want me?" He asked, smirking at the fact that you were watching him with such attentive eyes.

"I want you...right here," You moved him to the center of the room, right in front of the window that was lit up by the thunder and lightening from outside.

You moved to the couch to start sketching him, frowning because you could not get his figure right. You walked to him and looked up at him, your noses nearly touching.

"Does sketching me include you being so close to me?"

"I need your shirt off. I need you naked."

"Why?" He asked.

"So I can get a better view of how your body is shaped."

He slowly starts to unbutton his shirt and shrugged it off. Smirking when he noticed your hand instantly reached out to touch his toned chest. He grabbed your sketchbook out of your hands, placing it on the nearest table, and placed them on his warm body. Your mouth opened slightly at the feeling of him. He felt warm, sturdy, and perfect.

His hand was still on yours and he slowly moved it down his chest to his abs to his trousers. You gasped when he moved your hand lower.

"Do you feel what you have done to me?" He asks. "How crazy you have me feeling?"

You nod. Too dumbfounded to say anything.

He moves your hand back up and then completely off him. He takes the button of his trousers into his fingers and pops it out of the hole. He then slowly moves them down his strong, long legs. He then pulls down his underwear. His cock springs up and hits his stomach. He was big. You could tell that the genes in this family were extremely strong. You shook your head and grabbed your sketchbook, instantly drawing what you saw.

"Is this what you wanted?" He asked, his wet hair sticking to his skin. Water droplets were still falling from his head and dripping down his body. The lightening from outside lit up his entire body, making him look like a literal angel.

"This is exactly what I needed." You walked over to him once again, pressing your lips against his. His mouth opened to allow your tongue entrance, swallowing his moans of pleasure. You were doing that to him. You were making him needy for you. You were making him want you, he needed you.

You grip his leaking cock, slowly moving up and down, feeling the silky skin. He threw his head back in pleasure as your hand stroked him.

"Oh my..." He gasped.

"Is this what you need, Mr. Bridgerton?" You look up at him before grabbing his hair to pull him down to your level. "Is this what you need?"

"Y-Yes," He stutters as he tries to hold in his moans.

"Let me hear you, baby." Your hand starts to get more slick with his pre-cum as he gets closer and closer to his end. He starts to shake in your hands as you speed up your hand. He starts to curse and moans started to spill from his mouth.

"Oh fuck, darling," He moans out as he cums on your hand.

You kept pumping him as he shakes from his orgasm. You slowly come to a stop and look him straight in the eyes as you lick his cum off your hand and moan at the taste, eyes rolling back.

"Oh fuck..." He pants, hair sticking to his forehead.

"I love you," He whispers, you don't hear it and he quickly gathers himself up.

"How was your drawing?" He asked, once dressed. His hands were resting on your hips as he presses a quick kiss to your neck.

"I think I will need to finish it a different day."

[nolita-fairytale]

pov: you're a record shop owner!reader dating carmen berzatto

a/n: i have full intentions on writing this as a oneshot but couldn't get it out in time for valentine's day so i wanted to have fun with a lil headcanon that would require less of my mental bandwidth. anyway, happy v-day carmy cuties!!

dating carmy as a record shop owner would be like:

in my head you meet at The Bear after a bad date. sydney, who you meet in the restroom takes pity on you and lets you sneak out of the back. you catch carmy on a smoke break and ask if you can bum a cigarette off of him. the two of you get to talking and you let him know you own a record store just a few blocks away. "you should stop by sometime."

of course, he doesn't. so a few weeks go by and just when you think there's no way he'll come by, a taller man, followed by sydney, is practically pushing him through the door under the guise of looking for the latest taylor swift record on vinyl.

you shoot the man a look (like there's no way in hell that a place like this carries taylor swift on vinyl but okay) and even though you don't have it, you offer to order it for him. the man, who you learn is called richie, goes to check out the rest of your shop, giving you, carmy, and sydney some time to talk.

you thank sydney again for helping you out. she does most of the talking but ends up inviting you to a movie thing in the park they're going to. you think, at least you'll make some new friends out of this, as you agree to go.

by the end of the hang, carmy finally musters up the courage to talk to you one on one, prompting you to make the first move by asking him out. and you know what they say. the rest is history.

okay so i'm thinking about the beautifuly agony of trying to make the perfect playlist for carmy when you decide that it's time and that you really, really like him. you spend a few days going back and forth over the perfect opener, closer, and what story you're trying to tell with the playlist. it can't be TOO 'i'm absolutely head over heels for you' but you want him to know that you're pretty damn infatuated.

you're pretty involved in the local live music community, so you're almost always going to a show. when carmy finally joins you for one, he's definitely hella anxious about it -- even though it's a smaller venue. but he wants to try for you!

making better memories at the bear beside your lackluster date. the first time you go back, you sit at the bar and get the colorful cast of characters that makes up the restaurant. the second time you go back, you bring your girlfriends for a girls' night and everyone is incredibly impressed by the food, the hospitality, and of course, you're very very cute exec chef boyfriend.

after your girls' night, you head over to your favorite bar, and carmy and syd meet you over there for drinks after their shift. you love the way your lives and worlds have begun to intertwine.

i'm thinking about these japanese-inspired hi-fi vinyl bars that keep popping up around the states and how if you decided to open one, carmy would be able to advise you on opening an entire bar?? OR as the bear expands its hospitality group, you outfit the bar with its vinyl collection.

the first time carmy cooks for you, you have the entire night's soundtrack picked out. you've spent all week thinking about which vinyls should underscore the night and it's filled with good food, great music, and even better sex.

i may add to this later today but wanted to get some of these thoughts out on metaphorical paper!!

[luza-wayne]

why people bother with love.

sawamura daichi x reader

wc: 9.2k

this is the longest fic that i've ever written, omg. i love daichi sm<33

also the story is inspired by taylor swift's song 'mine'! i was listening to it while on shuffle playlist and thought it was so good.

a happy and lovely family.

it's the farthest from what your family was.

all your parents did was fight at every little thing that can be talked through.

it was also the reason why you and your siblings are not close with each other. they hide or run away whenever they're fighting, which means, always.

but, they did tell you once.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

so, just in the past?

i don't understand.

“then, you shouldn't have spent it on useless things!” 

your father's voice made your ears ring. it's in the middle of the night.

they're fighting again. 

this is supposed to be a day for me. i just graduated from elementary school today.

“useless?! you call that useless?!” your mother shouted back.

you decided to get off of the bed and silently walk to where the voices are coming from, the kitchen.

“of course, it is!” your father replied.

“our daughter just graduated and you're saying that buying her a small gift is useless?!” your mother asked.

i knew it. it's about that.

you peeked from the opening in the living room which was connected to the kitchen.

“just tell her ‘congratulations!’ or anything! why bother spending money?! we're not rich!” your father rebutted.

“are you hearing yourself right now, huh?” your mother snickered. “what are you even mad about? it's not even over ¥500?”

“you could've used that ¥500 for something more important! like food stocks or bills!” 

“her, graduating is important! don’t you dare not acknowledge your daughter’s milestone!”

maybe i should just give them back a ¥500 that i saved from my daily allowance? would that stop them from fighting?

“arhg! you and your obtuse actions!” your father slammed the counter with his balled fist.

“what?! you're one to talk! that stupid "friend" of yours who always borrows money from you! where is he now, huh? out there partying and spending the money you lent him! what did he say? "i'll give it back tomorrow!" i never once saw him return the money he borrows, yet you keep on giving and giving him! what are you, a bank?!” your mother snapped.

“shut up!” your father shouted and clicked his tongue. “you always bring that up! you're always like that! i'm tired of you already!”

“guess who's tired of you too?” your mother crossed her arms and stared at your father blankly.

“is that so? then i'm leaving and never going back here!” your father had enough and walked out.

he met your eyes and was surprised for a bit, but he continued walking to the front door.

you looked at your mother.

she still had her arms crossed above her chest, but she clenched her hands tightly and was biting on her lower lip.

“mom, are you not going to run after dad?” you stepped out from hiding.

your mother flinched, but she quickly realized that you must've heard the whole conversation already.

“why would i? it was his decision to leave! i don't care about him anymore! i'm glad i finally got tired of his ass!” she said and went to get water.

what? 

you say that, but why do you look so hurt?

“your hands are quivering, mom.”

as your eyebrows furrowed, you heard the engine starting. you look at the door's direction and run towards it. when you stepped out, you saw your father just hopped on his mini truck.

he saw you running to him. he rolled his window down.

“dad, when are you coming back?” you asked him.

he just smiled achingly at you.

“sorry.” he muttered. you, confused, tilted your 

“don't worry, i'd still be there for you, siblings.” he shortly answered.

“what about mom?” you questioned.

“i don't care anymore. i can't bring myself to love her anymore. sorry.” he said and grabbed the steering wheel tightly. he then said goodbye and drove off.

i don't understand.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

did their love for each other fade away?

i really don't understand…

love…

“why does everyone bother with it if it never lasts?”

why do we need to fall in love, just to experience the anguish of losing the feeling of it?

•••

“hurry! hurry! their match is already starting!” your friend pulls your hand, as you follow her lead.

“okay, okay.” you answered with no enthusiasm.

what am i going to do there anyways? i don't even know the rules in volleyball.

“why are we watching a boys volleyball game in the first place?” you asked her.

“it's our school's team! they can represent miyagi in the spring high tournament, if they win against the team they're playing today.” she said,

okay, still didn't anyways why we should be here.

when you two reached the bleachers, your other classmates waved at you and pointed at the seat they reserved for you both.

the first set just finished when you arrived. you just used the cheering megaphone they handed you and just created some noise as the players walked on the court.

“kageyama-sama, do your best!” you heard your friend scream her heart out.

that answers my question. also, what do you mean, "-sama"? you're older than him, right?

you sighed and just continued cheering.

the umpire blew the whistle and signaled that the second set was starting. you watched as a guy with bowl-cut from the opposing team serves.

your eyes widened a bit seeing how hard he serves, you were so sure no one could receive it.

but, the guy was there to break your thoughts.

he easily receives it, making your eyes widened even more.

as soon as he received it, they ran towards the net and he hit the ball over the other team, earning them the first point of the set.

wow. 

your mouth hangs open.

“h-hey,” you called for your friend's attention. “who was that?”

“who? the one who sets?! that's kageyama! he's a firs—”

“no, the one who hits the ball.” you immediately stopped her.

“oh, that's the captain, sawamura daichi, from class 4. i think he's friends with sugawara too.” she answered shortly, now that the topic is not kageyama anymore.

number 1… that means he's the captain, right?

the match continued and they won the set. they lost the third, but won the fourth.

you were hanging on your seat as the set, supposed to be just 15, goes over to 20 and you cling to your friend tightly as the final whistle was heard and karasuno was declared the winner.

“wah! kageyama-sama, congratulations!” your friend bawled out.

“he's amazing too, right?” you said as you clapped, seeing sawamura receive the trophy.

“of course! he's kageyama-sama's teammate, after all!” she said, still dragging kageyama to the conversation.

when it was time to move out, your friend said she needed to go to the toilet, so you went there with her.

as you two passed the entrance to the gym floor, you saw the black uniforms standing there.

oh, they're here.

“sugawara!” your friend suddenly shouted, calling for your classmates' attention. almost all of them looked in your direction. “congratulations!” she said,

“oh! thanks!” sugawara replied, waving his hand in the air with a big smile.

you thought you might as well congratulate your classmate.

“congratulations, sugawara.” you said, not as loud as your friend's voice, but enough for him to hear.

“ah! (y/n), thanks!” he thanked you.

you two then bowed to them and continued to go to the bathroom, all while your friend celebrated that he got kageyama's attention earlier too.

“okay, i got it already. just go and hurry up.” you shut her up when you reached the comfort room.

you just walked to a close bench to the bathroom and took a seat, waiting patiently for your friend to finish.

“hey,” you heard a voice say.

you're not sure whether they're talking to you or not, but you looked up at where it came from.

“you're…” you started and stood on your feet. “sawamura, right?”

“uh, yeah. i'm sawamura.” he said as he reached for his nape and rubbed it with his palms awkwardly.

“you were so awesome in the game earlier. congrats.” you told him and smiled.

“thanks. i actually think i look unsightly during the game, especially when i'm just running and moving on fumes.” he replied sheepishly.

“well, the fact that you think that and yet you still do it just shows how passionate you are about winning.” you uttered. “still, don't worry. you look cool.” you reassured him.

“really? that's a relief.” he said and sighs relievedly.

there was a few seconds of silence after that and you just stared at each other.

“um… why did you… uhm, approach me?” you asked.

he suddenly gets a bit of tint pink shade on his cheeks, that can be easily missed if you were not looking carefully. maybe the reason, you noticed it also was the fact that his bruised on his left cheeks got your attention.

“well, you see… we won against shiratorizawa.” he started and you hummed. “so, we're already qualified for the spring high, i was just wondering if you'll be watching there too.” he asked.

“why? is my presence needed there?” you confusedly asked, making him chortle.

“for me, it definitely does, haha.” he answered, straightforwardly.

it skipped a beat. my heart just did.

i know these feelings very well. it's the feeling i swore not to follow.

i know where these feelings would bring me to.

“i see. i'll look forward to it then.”

i should've declined back then.

•••

“ever since you moved here, it never got quiet here anymore!”

your old woman neighbor is once again shouting in front of your house. 

she's always there and she always just does it whenever sawamura is at work or out for something. it was easy to know since she knows he's a police officer and the police car is not in the parking lot.

you continued to bite your lower lip. 

trying to stop yourself from shouting back at the old woman was harder than you thought.

the neighbors said she has a mental disorder, but still her voice. her voice can easily break a plate or two.

normally, you would just ignore her until she leaves, but today you're not like those days. your menstruation started this morning, and the blood got onto the sheets, so you had changed it. 

moving around irritates you, but you had no choice but to do the chores, before your husband arrives, since it's just you two in the house and you're off to work today.

speaking of your husband, you looked at the clock and saw the time.

‘where are you?’ ‘your shift should've finished a while ago.’ ‘can you go home already?’

you stared at your phone and waited for him to reply, but he didn't. you just stood up and went to the kitchen.

ah, she left. you thought as you managed to peek outside the window while you walked to the kitchen.

thank goodness, finally.

“guess, i should reheat this.” you muttered to yourself and sighed.

you placed the dinner you cooked, inside the microwave. as you wait for it, you remembered that you haven't looked at the mail today yet.

you hurriedly went outside and opened the mailbox.

“huh?” you were surprised to see the mails filled with bills that needed to be paid.

you groaned as you held the envelopes in hand.

it's the same envelope you receive every month, but somehow these envelopes are more irritating to you right now. 

you just closed the mailbox and went inside. you one by one looked through the mail, while you walked back to the kitchen.

and every time you open one, your mood gets worse and worse.

“huh?! why is it so expensive?!” you shouted at the bill you're holding.

we need to spend our money more wisely, even if we're both working.

*ping*

you heard the microwave's sound go off. you immediately took it out forgetting to put on a mitt or even a pot holder.

“ouch!” you screamed. you hurriedly went to the sink and ran the water on it. “damn, what am i doing?”

“i'm home.” sawamura announced as soon as he stepped in.

he's home?!

“argh! wait–” you speed walked to the main door and saw your husband. “welc–” 

you stopped mid-sentence when you saw what he's holding.

“uh, i saw a friend of mine while on my way home, that's why i was late, so i thought i should get you something.” he said and extended his arms, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

you accepted it, staring at it with a forced smile.

“don't like it?” he asked as he kissed your temple and walked to the living room.

you followed him, still looking at the flowers.

“no… it's just—” you sighed. “you didn't have to buy something this expensive…” you muttered.

“so, you don't like it?” he asked as he took off his uniform.

“no, it's not like that. i'm saying you shouldn't have spent the money on something useless—” you said, but decided to just cut yourself off.

you sighed. “thank you, dai.” walking up to him to hug him.

he returned the embrace, but he knew something was wrong.

we could’ve used the money to pay off our bills instead. you thought as you let go from the hug.

sawamura, puzzled, still decided to just give you a bit of space and not to pry yet. he went to take a short shower, while you prepared the table.

while waiting for him to join you, you looked at the envelopes you were just looking at earlier. your eyes then went back to the bouquet that’s now sitting on the center table in the living room.

you breathed deeply.

am i getting ungrateful for not appreciating his effort on buying that?

you got on your feet and went to get it. 

staring at it, you finally realized how pretty it was. also, it’s your favorite flower.

you can’t remember when was the last time you mentioned to him what your favorite flower was. 

was it when we were on our first date?

you chuckled.

“that guy really knows how to put butterflies in my stomach.”

suddenly, you felt two cold arms wrapped around your waist. you felt him snuggle his nose on your nook of neck.

“dai, stop it. i'm reeking of sweat.” you chortled as you felt a bit tickled by his now growing stubble.

he buried his nose deeper and even inhaled your scent like a man who just regained his sense of smell.

“smells like a pheromone for me.” he replied and lifted you up. 

hooking his arms behind your knees and walking to the table. he sat you down on the chair and took a seat adjacent to yours.

as he was about to scoop rice for both of you, you reached out to his cheeks and gave him a peck. he was taken aback, but then smiled at you. he held your hand on his cheeks and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it.

“thank you for the flowers, dai.” you told him.

“anything for you, babe.” he answered.

maybe i was just thinking a bit too much about our bills. i should just appreciate that he got me these flowers.

…

“mrs. sawamura, please redo this.” your team leader sternly said.

you looked up from your desk and met with an eyes burning and a face that’s barely containing their anger.

“yes?” you asked while your hand was holding the lunch you were about to eat at the canteen.

“there are a lot of inaccurate reports and miscalculated estimates. what are you even doing? do you want our team to lose this project because of you?” she added and slammed the folder on your desk.

“but—” none of those are my jobs though.

i might probably have to add this to my piles of to-do work.

she was about to walk away, when she suddenly looked back.

“and i want them done today.” she said lastly, before walking back to her posts and leaving you with wide eyes.

all of this by today?!

“there’s no way i can finish this today.” you whispered and slumped your back to the chair.

i might need to stay for over time.

as you set your lunch box down on your desk, your phone vibrated. you pulled it out of your vest’s pocket and saw a message notification from your younger sister, who’s in college.

- we’re running out of mom’s medication. - she’s always staring and thinking about a lot of things, i’m afraid it might turn into depression. - and brother’s med maintenance too. - it’ll only last until tomorrow. - we need extra money, but i already used my income from my part-time job to pay off the debts when i borrowed money from my friend to pay for my tuition. she said she badly needed the money. -if you have extra money, can you send us some for your mother and brother? - i’ll try asking someone too.

you let out a frustrated sigh. you grit your teeth and lower your head.

just how bad will this day get?

you repositioned your body. taking deep breaths. you picked up your phone again and replied to your sister.

- no, it’s fine. i have some extra here. i received a bonus yesterday. i’ll send it to you and pay for the remaining balance on your tuition too. don’t forget their meds. let me know how much all in total. thanks for always looking out for them. take care there.

you put down your phone and covered your face with your hands.

well, there goes my bonus. i still haven’t paid for the other bills that i’m supposed to pay for.

“(y/n), you okay?” your workmate asked.

you just nodded and told him you’re okay.

i need to save money.

…

hours have passed since your supposed time to go home, but here you are redoing the whole project that wasn’t even your doing, yet forced to redo so.

“this… is wrong. who the hell put it here?” you said to yourself and immediately fixed it.

thankfully, you are already almost done with it. just a bit more and you can already give it to your team leader. she seemed to stay late too and was working on another project.

that doesn’t mean she should have me revise these mistakes when i wasn't even the one who did it.

“and… there! all done!” you raised your arms in the air and stretched your back.

“finally!” you expressed slumping your body to the chair with relief.

you immediately went to pass it to your leader. she didn’t even bother looking up at you and just said a monotone of “good work, you can go home now.” but, you could care less at this moment, you just want to get it over with and go home and take a bath and sleep.

as you were arranging your belongings, you remembered that you turned your phone off, in order to concentrate more.

you slid your bag on your shoulder and walked to the elevator. you waited for the phone to turn on. you’re the only one inside, so your mind wandered off while waiting to reach the ground floor and for your phone.

should i get a part time job too? ever since my brother got caught up in a motorcycle accident, it feels like money has been slipping out the moment i got them on my hands. 

you heard a ping and the door finally opened, the same time as your phone turned on too. while walking to the door, your notifications got bombed with messages from your husband.

…

- can’t wait to have dinner with you <3 - i think i might arrive a bit earlier than our call time - the chief will let us out early today - i’ll be waiting for you, but you don’t have to rush, okay? - are you on ‘do not disturb’ mode? - okay, you might be busy right now - good luck on your work, i love you

- i just got out, i’ll be passing by the house for a moment to change the car and maybe take a quick shower too - still no reply? :( - don’t overwork yourself too much please - i’ll be driving so i might not see your reply - i love you

- i’m on my way to the resto - i’m so excited haha - i’ll be waiting there for you - i’ll be sure to drive safely, because that’s what you always say when i say i’m about to drive - see you there, i love you

- i’m here already, but no need to rush - i’m just early by half an hour - just let me know if you’re seeing these messages - be safe on your way here, i love you

- hey, it’s been two hours already - are you still tied up with your work? - let me know if i should wait for you or pick you up at your work - i can still wait for you though - please reply, babe - i’m getting a bit worried now - reply to me please, i love you

- i just contacted your colleague - he told me you’re staying overtime to finish some things, but couldn’t you tell me sooner? - i’m still waiting here for about four hours now - i’m going home now - at least reply to me once you’ve seen this

…

oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! i completely forgot about our dinner!

you hurriedly ran to call a taxi, knowing that the train was about to close by the time.

i knew something important slipped my mind earlier! i can’t believe it was the date with my husband!

you told the driver the destination of your travel, while also asking him if he can make it so you will arrive faster there. of course, he said he can’t drive recklessly, but he’ll try to drive faster.

while the taxi driver did his job, you tried to reply to your daichi. you explained that you had your phone off, that's why you didn’t receive his messages. the thing is, your messages are going through but he’s not responding to your message.

gosh, i think he’s really mad. what should i do when i get home? we can just have another dinner. ugh, it’s too pricey. you sighed.

after a few minutes, the taxi finally arrived at the street of your house. you told him it’s okay to drop you off here and paid him. while walking to your house, your stomach churns with anxiety as you might find daichi mad.

as you reached your gated house, you searched for your keys only for you to realize that you didn’t bring it with you when you left the house. you contemplated whether to call daichi and have him open the gate for you or just jump over the gate.

while thinking, you suddenly heard the clicking sounds of the gate being opened. you turn around to see your husband in his shorts and t-shirt. he’s not in his night wear yet, so he must’ve been doing some work in his office, just like what he usually does when he gets some free time after eating dinner, though it usually doesn't take this long for him to do those works.

“o-oh, you’re still awake? i didn’t wake you up, right?” you asked, trying not to make it awkward.

“no.” he flatly said. 

he finally opened the gate and then waited for you to step inside, without uttering another word. you walked to the front door and opened it, going inside. you left the door open for him.

you set your coat on the rack and followed daichi with your eyes as he closed the front door and walked past you after throwing the keys in the bowl. you also saw your keys there.

i knew it he’s mad.

you walked to the living room to see him opening the television and munching on some chips. seeing this, you felt your stomach grumble. you went to the kitchen and found a bowl of some hot miso soup. your stomach felt even hungrier.

but, i need to talk to dai. you closed your eyes and accepted your hunger later.

you were about to walk to where daichi was when he suddenly stood up and went to the bathroom. he also took a towel, so it seems like he’ll take a shower.

guess, i should eat first then.

…

after eating and washing the dishes, since it’s only the ones you eat with anyways, you went to change your clothes hurriedly, in case daichi finishes his shower already.

when you went back to the living room, there you saw him sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television. 

you walked to him and called his name.

“dai.” he didn’t look at you.

“dai. i forgot about our dinner.” you said and took a seat next to him, he looked at you.

i should just explain it to him and get this over with.

“our team leader was being a little bitchy earlier and gave me work i’m not even supposed to do, so i turned off my phone—” you were telling him about what happened earlier, when he suddenly cut you off.

“is it that hard to remember to tell me that you’re taking an overtime?” he stated. staring at you with a straight face.

“huh?” you asked, deflecting his straightforwardness.

“i’m pissed off that you made me wait for about four hours, but i’m more pissed about the fact that you can’t even tell me that you’re having overtime.” he uttered.

it’s like something just snapped in your mind. you know you’re the one who should apologize for forgetting about your date and even making him wait. but, it must’ve been the awful day that you had that’s getting the best of you right now.

“why is it such a big thing to tell you about that?” you asked him with a stress on the word ‘big thing’.

he furrowed your brows and was taken aback by your question. did you really just ask him why is that a big thing?

he stood up and was still not breaking eye contact with you.

“maybe it’s because i’m your husband, (y/n).” he answered back, now emphasizing his words. “of course, i need to know because i get worried why you aren’t back yet when your working hours are already done.” 

you raised your eyebrow.

“if you were that worried, then you should’ve come to my workplace and checked up on me.” you said and then stood up too, facing him.

“i was about to, when your co-worker replied to me and said you already have taken an overtime and possibly forgotten about our reservation!” he rebutted, his voice getting louder.

“then it's good timing! that was a waste of money anyways, we can always just eat somewhere cheap!” you shouted back.

“it’s you who wanted to eat there!” he pointed at you.

“i never said that! it’s you who wanted to take me there!” you told him and took a step forward.

“why are you always pushing the blame onto someone else whenever you're up against a corner?!” he gritted through his teeth.

“huh?! when did i ever do that—” you were about to talk when he talked over you.

and it was when you realized this is going like what happened with your parents.

“you never owe up to your mistakes, i always try to understand you because i love you, but (y/n), i’m a human too! i have a limit!” he started.

“wha—” before you could even finish, he added something that breaks your heart.

“i’m tired of you always being like that!” he said and stormed off to the bedroom.

you stood there in the middle of the living room speechless. 

your world seems to be spinning yet you’re not paying attention to it, you're more focused on the heavy feeling on your chest. it’s so heavy, it feels like your heart has fallen to your stomach and now you can feel the churning of it too.

your legs felt wobbly, you had no choice but to sit back down on the couch. your hand found its way to your chest.

it hurts here.

your eyesight started becoming watery.

“you’re always like that! i’m tired of you already!” “guess who’s tired of you too?” “is that so? then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

no! stop, stop, stop, stop!

don’t think about what happened to mom and dad!

“then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

stop! please!

you know daichi won’t leave you, right?!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t.

…right?

i just have to apologize—

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

no…

i still love daichi!

stop thinking like that!

with all these thoughts, you didn’t even realize how much you’re crying, but somehow not making any sounds. your body is still adapted to your childhood habit of immediately covering your mouth and nose when crying in order not to let anyone hear it.

it’s a habit that started the night you realized that you’re the reason why your parents have broken off. if you didn’t ask your mother for a gift that day, then there might be a chance that your family is still together.

your body slid and now you’re lying on the couch sideways, still covering your mouth and nose.

i still love daichi.

but, daichi’s tired of me already.

i knew love never lasts, but i thought it might be different with daichi. i was too naive to think love would treat me differently than my parents.

everything comes and goes.

in the end, it was a cycle.

not the love, but what happened with my parents’ love story and mine.

it will never last. love is.

…

waiting for a bit until you stopped crying, you picked up your coat again and put it on. you were about to take your keys, but realized you don’t need it anymore. before leaving, you remembered one thing. you walked back to the living room and took off your ring, setting it down on the table, all while holding back your tears again.

daichi’s the type to sleep his anger until he calmed down, so you didn’t have to think that he might pop out suddenly and ask you where are you going.

you have already booked a taxi to take you somewhere that might not be a safe haven for you, but still has a deep hold to you.

“can you take me here?” you said to the driver and he said he can and then quietly drove you there.

you turned your phone off to avoid someone calling you. you slept on your way there and when you felt the car stop for a bit too long, you immediately opened your eyes. a bittersweet smile appeared on your face as you stared at the house from the window.

you thanked the driver and hopped out of the taxi. you stood in front of the house unlighted because it’s already midnight, though to you it looked more gloomy rather than creepy.

one of the rooms is still with lights on, you grabbed your phone and messaged your sister. a few moments later, she was out of the house, wearing her pajamas, surprised to find her sister out of the house in the middle of the night.

as much as how surprised she was, she knew it was out of ordinary for you to show up in front of the house on a random day. she knew you had your reasons, but never forced you to tell her about it. it’s not like you’ll travel for about three hours just to visit them, just because you thought about it, what’s more it’s in the middle of the night.

she helped you get your room ready, she can see from your eyes that you needed to rest your body and mind. when it was already done, you thanked her and encouraged her about the plates she’s finishing, that's why she’s staying up late.

you laid on your bed, the same bed that has been with you with everything. it is nostalgic to think about the memories, but you can’t help but think about those times where the family is still complete and somehow you are acting like a real family.

“i’m back. you’re seeing another pathetic side of me.” you muttered to yourself, referring to the bed and realized that maybe it’s the whole room too.

you turned your eyes to the pictures stuck on your walls. your lips quivered again as you stare at the picture you put up in the past of you and daichi when you had an aquarium date. 

it’s a picture of you two kissing that was perfectly photobombed by a large stingray, that made both of you look like you had wings.

“why do humans fall in love? it hurts my heart, yet i can’t stop loving the man i married.” you uttered as a tear fell out of your eyes.

you were about to close your eyes, when suddenly you heard a knock on your door. you looked up and stared at it, thinking it could be your imagination. again, three knocks came. you immediately went to get whoever it was. did your little sister forget something? or did you?

opening the door, you were greeted by your mother in a wheelchair. smiling up at you.

“i knew it. you came home, i see.” she said, still smiling affectionately at you.

“mom, why are you still awake?” you asked, kneeling in front of her. you held her hand and returned the smile.

“i was asleep, but i woke up when i heard your bedroom’s door being opened.” she explained and tapped you, asking you to stand up.

“huh? ah…” you were puzzled by what she said, but then remembered it.

“your door lets out a peculiar sound every time it opens and closes, right?” she chuckled and pointed at your balcony. 

you went behind her and pushed the wheelchair to your balcony, the breeze was chilly, so you went to your dresser and looked for something thick to cover your frail mother’s body. you came back with a jacket, and wrapped it over her shoulders while she was staring at the star-filled sky.

“it’s beautiful.” she spoke. 

you looked up and truthfully, it was beautiful but you were not in the mood to admire them. you just answered her with a simple, “yeah.”

for a moment, it was quiet. the only sounds you’re hearing are the sound of the wind brushing against the trees and leaves and the sound of the crickets.

it was quite, you thought it would be okay to just stay like this, but you know somewhere someone would speak up. it was your mother who did.

“did something happen at your house?” she finally asked the same question your little sister wanted to ask but decided not to.

you tried to stay quiet, but you were aware you have to, sooner or later, need to tell them the reason rather than keeping them in the dark.

and yet, you can’t find the courage to speak.

your mother smiled.

again, it was quiet. 

for a few minutes, it stayed quiet. actually, you think it might actually go until half an hour. half an hour of letting the noises of nature fill both of your ears, half an hour of feeling the cold blow of the midnight wind on your skin.

you looked down at your mother and noticed that she’s just staring at something far. it was like her mind was occupied by something.

“mom,” you called, she answered you by humming, “what are you thinking about?”

“i’m thinking about your father.” she said lightly.

you were surprised. the topic about your father was like a forbidden one, you and your siblings never talked about your father when in presence of your mother, yet she just told you that he’s running in her mind right now. 

i thought she hated him.

“why?” you asked.

she smiled weakly.

“i’m thinking that if i followed him back then, maybe i would be happy right now.” your eyes widened.

she still remember that? and… she regrets not running after him? but, he’s…

“i thought you said you didn’t love him anymore?”

she chuckled.

“i thought so too.”

…

it’s saturday and almost four o'clock in the morning, daichi was woken up by his alarm clock, he forgot to turn off before sleeping. it was already weird, because usually he never hears it. it was you who got woken up by it first and then turned it off. after that, you’ll be nudging him and even getting on top of him with your whole body to wake him up.

his body feels so tired. he stretched his arms out, only to feel the cold sheet next to him. he sprung up on his ass. 

“where is—” 

he shut his eyes tight when he remembered what happened last night.

“damn it. i decided to sleep again while i’m mad. i should stop doing that. she doesn't like it either.” he muttered as he got off the bed and stretched out his body.

he went outside the room to get water and find you. he searched the living room with his eyes, but he didn’t see you, he walked to the kitchen and you weren’t there either.

maybe in the bathroom? he thought and his feet dragged him there.

no. you weren’t there.

at this point, he was ignoring the thumping sounds of his heart. there’s no way you did what he’s thinking… right?

he went outside, even though he knows himself it’s ridiculous, to see you watering the plants. but, still there’s no sign of you.

he went back inside and searched every room, but still no one jumped out and said that you were just playing hide-and-seek with a just-woken-up him.

where were you?

he went to sit on the couch. short and fast breaths taking over his lungs.

please just tell me you went out to jog. or that you went to shop this early in the morning. anything that could be outrageous to do at this time you can do it and he wouldn’t even laugh. just show up before his eyes and calm down his heart getting scared minute by minute that he might’ve ruined everything last night.

“where are you, baby? please, just this once let it be a joke.” his said with a shaking voice. 

he looked down and finally saw it. the ring you left, before you went and left the house.

daichi laughed. 

“now, if this is a nightmare, i fucking hate it, haha.” he laughed as he picked it up with trembling fingers. 

it wasn’t happening. if he closes his eyes and opens it again, he’ll find you sleeping soundly beside him.

but it didn’t.

he clutched the ring in his palms as he wobbly stood up and went to the bedroom to get his phone. maybe if he calls you and apologizes, he can fix this relationship.

but, it wasn’t going through.

“did she block me already? please don’t. i’ll apologize for everything i did and said. just don’t leave me.” he muttered, shaking voice and tears finally escaping his eyes.

he kissed the ring, before deciding to get on his feet.

he’s not letting this relationship end, if he had to eat dirt for you to forgive him, he’ll go out of his way to search for the dirtiest mud and eat it for you. 

he checked the closet. his line of work will become handy to him, but he didn’t think that it’ll be useful in this way. you didn’t take any clothes with you. so, there’s a high chance that you’ll go somewhere you have a stock of clothes with them. but, the friend you’re always staying over whenever you have a girl’s night, is out of town right now and the other is attending a party just like what you’ve told him.

as much as he doesn't want to say it, he knows that you’re trying to save money, so you probably won’t stay at a hotel.

he picked up his jacket, phone and wallet.

he knows the only place where you could be.

…

“you thought so too?” you repeated.

“i thought i was tired of him, that i didn’t love him anymore.” she said, “but, i was wrong.” she added.

how can you love someone who hurt you just by thinking about them?

she looked up at you and smiled.

“i realized, i was not tired of loving him.” she looked forward again. “rather, i was tired of our fights. i was tired of always exchanging shouts with him, but i never stopped loving him. ever since that night, never a day passed that i haven’t thought about how i should’ve run after him and told him not to leave me, us.”

your lips quiver while listening. you always made sure not to talk about your father thinking that your mother would hate it, not knowing that everyday she reminisces about their relationship.

again, she looked up at you, but now with a warmer and larger smile.

“so, i thought once i get better, i’ll try and win your father back, even if it took too many years, haha.” she happily said, before looking back in front.

you weren’t able to contain it anymore, you shed a tear for your mother. you bend down and hug her from behind. she was startled when you suddenly wrapped your arms around her, but still caressed her daughter’s head, just like how she used to whenever she cries in her arms. you were happy to see your mother’s genuine smile, a smile that isn’t forced, a smile that isn’t there to show that she’s okay, so you don’t have to worry. you were happy, but you can’t help but cry.

knowing damn well that your father has already married someone else and is having his third child.

you know that and yet, you can’t tell her that. you don’t want to. not when she just finds inspiration to be well again.

but, you didn’t expect to hear what she said next.

“your father… he already found someone else, didn’t he?” she suddenly said that it made you freeze.

you felt wet drops on your arms.

“i-i— he—” you wanted to lie, but can’t bring another heartbreak to your mother by lying.

“i know, because you’re my child.” she sobbed and tears fell out of her eyes like waterfalls. “and i know, because that’s just the man i knew and loved.”

you went in front of her and hugged her by her waist, bawling like a little child.

“sorry, sorry, sorry, mom… it was my fault… i’ve always known it was because of me… if i didn’t ask you for a gift, maybe he would still be with us… mom, i’m sorry… because of me… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… please, forgive me…” you cried and cried, begging your mother for forgiveness.

your mother who is also crying, but still manages to wipe your tears, nods her head with everything you say to let you know she’s listening. 

you kept on apologizing to her and she listened to everything. when you ran out of breath, she took this chance to calm you down. 

“(y/n), look at me.” she said as she cupped your cheeks, you looked at her with a messy face and probably snot coming out of your nose. “never have i ever thought that it was your fault. your small gift was not the reason we ended the relationship. i didn’t know that you’ve always carried the guilt on your back thinking that it was your fault. i’m sorry for never noticing.” she affirmed.

“it was not your fault, (y/n).”

this made you teary again.

“mom… thank you…” you cried to her as you held her hands that were on your cheeks. closing your eyes to feel the warmth of her palms in the coldness of the breeze.

“with that said, (y/n)...” she called. you opened your eyes and saw another of her real smiles.

“don’t make the same mistake as me.” 

it was a short sentence, yet it rang your ears so loud, you can’t hear anything else except that.

your lips showed a smile, a quivering and forced smile. your tears never stopped dropping, actually your eyes produced more.

“i’m sorry, mom. but i think i already did.” you cried, resting your head on her thighs. “it wasn’t your mistake that i’ve committed, but dad’s.” you added.

“i ran away.” you hiccuped, “i thought everything would be the same, so i ran away. i was scared to face it.” 

your mother made you raise your head. your eyes are red from crying so much and yet you felt like you haven’t let everything out. your chest still feels heavy. you want to cry everything out, but thoughts fill in double with every tear that escapes your eye. you just want to cry it out, but the longer you cry, the more it hurts.

“mom, what should i do?” you asked her, looking up at her. sniffing and catching your breath.

“i…” you stopped to inhale. “i love daichi, but i’m scared. what if it's all temporary. what if our love fades?”

“it was my fault. it’s always been my fault.” you wiped your eyes with your hands, only to be replaced by another one. “i… i don’t want to leave him, mom…”

“dear, calm down.” your mother squished your cheeks. “i’m sure you realize that whatever you did to your husband was wrong, but you don’t have to worry.” she said, making you confused.

“i was the one who ran away… what if he didn’t run after me?” you asked.

“then you’ll be the one who needs to go back to him. you need to talk it out.” she ran her hands on your hair. “you wouldn’t want to turn out like me, right?” she muttered, giving you a relieved smile. 

she knows that you already know what to do and that no matter what happens, deep inside you, you didn’t want to be something you saw happen to her and your father. she must’ve been subconsciously aware that you were afraid to fall in love. she saw when you looked at others with partners, not with an envious eyes, but rather a confused one.

she realized just now, that she might have been the reason why you think like that. with what turned out to be your mother and father’s relationship, maybe it’s understandable why you thought love fades along with the relationship. but, you’re wrong. after all, look at her. she will always love the man that was with her for most of her happiest moments. she’ll never stop loving him.

but, she knows it’s different for the both of you.

because, she saw something in daichi that your father has never done and never will. she knew from the day you introduced him to her. 

your father never looked at her the same way daichi looked at you whenever you’re not looking.

so, she knows. she knows it won’t turn as tragic as her story.

when she realized, you have already calmed down. you’re still sniffing and wiping your tear stains, but you’ve controlled it.

“let’s go. it’s getting late and you haven’t slept yet.” she tapped your back. you could only reply with a nod. 

you stood up and helped your mother turn her wheelchair around. you helped her get to her bedroom, but before walking back to your room, you thanked her.

“thank you, mom.” you said. she looked at you and smiled. “thank you for being the best.” you kissed her on her forehead and said good nights to each other.

you went back to your room and laid on the bed. you reached for your phone. your fingers fiddled whether to turn it on or not.

in the end, you chose not to. 

you know what to do right now, but needed more courage to commence it.

“i should get some sleep first.” you muttered, your body finally processing the amount of tiredness your body felt yesterday and today.

i’m going back to daichi. i don’t want to lose him.

…

the sun was up and it was hitting your eyelid. you were too tired and sleepy, you forgot to lay out the blinds.

you were about to turn your body to the side, when something was holding you by your waist. you were still feeling groggy, but you paid no attention to it. but, then you remembered you’re in your room, not at your house, but your mother’s house.

you swung your head sideways and saw daichi sleeping next to you. your mouth was wide open and was surprised.

how did he get here this early in the morning?

you stared at his handsome face that was wrinkled by his furrowed brows. you wanted to laugh, because that was his face every time he dreams about a weird but cute creature that he told you about before.. you tried to get out of his chain-like hold. after many unsuccessful attempts, you finally managed to free yourself. 

you sat on the edge of the bed as you felt your throat was so dry after that crying you did. you were about to get up when you caught daichi and started moving his hands.

he’s searching for me. you thought. 

you were on your way to reach for his hands, when he suddenly sprang up with wide eyes.

“(y/n)!” he called out.

you jolted because of his sudden movements. he was frantically rubbing his eyes in order to get that clear view of the room. his gestures made you worry, so you held and stopped his hands from doing so.

“dai, i’m here.” you told him, putting his hands down along with yours. “good morning.”

his eyesight has finally adjusted and you were his first view. 

your beautiful face that puts a blush on his cheeks. your sweet smile that calms his mind. your soft touches that makes him weak.

staring at your face, he realized that he’s not in a nightmare anymore. just like what happened earlier when we woke up for the first time today. you’re here in front of him, greeting him good morning just like always.

he pulled your hands to his face, feeling up the warmth it gives.

“g-good morning.” he replied, his voice cracking up from holding back his cry.

you smiled watching your husband snuggle himself to your hands, but it soon faded when you realized how scared and hurt he must’ve been when you suddenly disappeared.

“dai—” before you could even finish calling him, you suddenly found yourself caught by daichi’s arms again.

he buried his face on your chest and hugged you tight, tighter than he even did before.

“why…?” he muttered, words were muffled, but you can still hear him clearly.

“dai?” you called.

“why did you leave? you could’ve just slapped me. you could’ve just kicked me. you could’ve punched me. you could’ve told me to sleep outside. you can pull my hair, poke my eyes, hit my shin, step on my toes, throw all my clothes, burn them, spend all my money, cut my cards and everything to let out your frustrations and calm your anger, but why? why did you think of leaving me?” he reasoned.

you could feel your clothes getting wet, right where his eyes met your chest. his fingers on your back grasping onto your fabric. you wrapped your arms around his back.

“i was so scared. i thought i might never see you again. i thought we’ll never kiss each other good nights and good mornings again. i thought i’ll never be able to hold you like this anymore.” he continued.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please don’t be mad at me anymore. i didn’t think through what was coming out of my mouth. i won’t ever do that again, please don’t leave me. i love you. you know, i love you so much, right?” he begged, finally looking up at you.

his eyes were filled with tears, just like how you were earlier. his face was desperate for your answer.

“dai.” you started. you pushed him away for a bit to look at him directly. he didn’t want to at first, but still complied with what you wanted, only if he held your hand. he’s scared that you might disappear from him again.

“why are you the one apologizing? it was my fault it all happened.” you told him, he was about to reply to you, but you halted him.

“i completely forgot our dinner. i forgot to message you about staying late to finish my work and i didn’t apologize for both. i got mad when you were only worried about me. i lied about not wanting to eat there and begged you for it.” you continued, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“and you’re right about it. i’m sorry for always dodging to own up for my own mistakes. i was scared that everything might be happening because of me again. i ran away from them, so i will not be blamed for it. it’s a bad habit that i need to work on.” you said, smiling at him.

you raised both of your hands to your chest level.

“and thank you for always understanding me. thank you for being so patient with me. i’m very lucky to have someone like you beside me.” you then went and hugged him.

“i’m supposed to be the one saying it.” you added.

“saying what?” he confusedly asked, but still hugged you back tightly.

“i’m going to be selfish and ask for it. i might be tiring to deal with at times, but please don’t leave me, daichi.” you said.

he suddenly chuckled.

“then that would make us both selfish then, since we're asking for the same thing.” he said before pulling you to his lap.

he sat you down there and wiped some tears that were escaping your eyes. he held your cheek with one hand and yours immediately followed it, holding his below your hands. he angled both of your heads and made your foreheads touch each other.

“i won’t promise that there will never be a fight anymore, but there’s one thing i will promise.”

you smiled when you realized that you know what he’s going to say next.

“i promise i’ll love you for eternity.” you said in chorus, making you two laugh.

you two laid in bed for a few minutes, before going down and eating breakfast with everyone. you ate in peace knowing you learned that maybe even just a little bit, you finally understand why.

the reason why people bother with love.

sometimes you will just find someone who will make you risk getting hurt as long as you get to be with them. sometimes it might not turn out the way you expected it, but sometimes when you overcome it and still be with them, it could be the greatest thing that would happen to you.

sawamura daichi, thank you for making me take the risk.

hope you enjoyed it! stay hydrated you all, it's so hot!

[sunraies]

i need something super soft with buzzcut rafe! like the reader is really down and rafe takes them shopping and then to get ice cream. maybe singing some taylor swift in the carrrrrr?🫣 idk something cute and fluffy like that?🫶🏼 also i hope ur feeling better from ur stomach bug!

I hope this is super soft enough. Sorry it's not long. I'm feeling a lot better from the stomach, thank you, hunny 😘

Shopping trip

Rafe Cameron x Reader

As requested above

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Baby? Let's go out for the day. " Rafe stroked your leg with a feather light touch as it was hooked over the covers.

You'd been off. You couldn't really explain to Rafe what was causing it as you didn't really know yourself.

It could be the fact that you'd finished the book you were recently reading, having to say goodbye to characters that had filled your mind. Or the show you loved on Netflix so much had come to an end. You had watched an old movie that made you feel nostalgic. You had eaten the sweet strawberries in the fridge, and now they were gone. Everything seemed to be weighing down on you.

Even the thought of leaving the coziness of the cotton sheets and the warmth of your love's body so close to you made you want to bottle the moment and never let it go.

"Why can't we just stay like this?" You muttered, head resting on his chest, the comfort of his heartbeat in your ear.

"Because, I want to take my baby out" Rafe kissed your hair "I want to buy her everything she looks at" He paused to add another kiss to you head "Hold her bag in one hand and her hand in the other. Wrap my arm over her shoulders so the world knows she's mine. "

You looked up at him and kissed his jaw "Well how is a girl going to say no to that?"

"She can't" He teased and tilted your head to capture your lips.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Rafe drove you to Kildare, his hand on your thigh the whole time. He squished it occasionally and grinned as you closed your legs. He looked gorgeous with his designer shades and buzzed hair, making his jaw seem so defined.

You turned up the studio as your favourite Taylor Swift song came on from the playlist you selected for the drive. Being out in the sunshine, the breeze on your face through the open window did make you feel a little better.

The moment you felt truly happy again was as Rafe sang with you. Both laughing as you screamed lyrics at each other. Who would have thought Rafe Cameron would sing Taylor Swift with a smile on his face. If you ever told anyone, they think you'd gone mad but anything for his girl. If singing made her happy, that's what he would do.

Once at the mall, Rafe did exactly as he said. He held your handbag in one hand with his arm over your shoulders as you linked your fingers with his.

He also tried to buy you anything you looked at, but you wouldn't let him. You compromised on one outfit and a necklace you loved. You avoided the bookstore and led him to the ice cream parlour instead. Rafe knew your weakness, and if you did get to the bookstore, you would have up with a bunch of new books.

You ordered your favourite flavour of ice cream, choosing a cup instead of a cone as it seemed to be melting quickly, and Rafe copied your order.

As you sat on some benchs outside, you raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought Rocky Road was your favourite?"

"It is, but this is yours. I wanted your favourite." He shrugged.

You smiled at him before carefully kissing him. "Thank you for today"

"You never have to thank me, baby" Rafe said softly before kissing you back.

[rynwritesreid]

Okay, okay, i have an idea. A angsty spencer one shot based on you’re losing me by Taylor swift. Feel free to do whatever you want with this, happy or sad ending 💋

A/N:As a fellow brit, who loves Spencer Reid and had Taylor Swift as her top artist, I am in love with this request. And as some who loves an unhappy ending, I’m beyond grateful you gave the option to make this heartbreaking. I hope you enjoy <3

Also a little side note, I’ve got a job interview for basically my dream job this Wednesday coming :)

Content: GN (i think) reader. Angst, and I mean heartbreaking angst.

| Masterlist| requests are open| Navigation| Playlist|

 

You and Spencer had been dating for around two years. The first year was amazing. You had both found comfort in one another, you would talk to each other about anything and everything.

 

However, as time passed, an unseen tension crept into the spaces between your words, a quiet disturbance that neither of you fully understood until it manifested into the palpable silence that now enveloped the apartment.

 

The apartment was filled with an oppressive silence, broken only by the distant hum of city life outside. It was the kind of quiet that echoed the growing distance between two hearts. You sat on the couch, hugging a throw pillow to your chest, your eyes fixed on the floor.

Spencer Reid, with his dishevelled hair and furrowed brows, stood across the room, both physically and emotionally distant.

 

The tension hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating any words that might have tried to bridge the gap. Your fingers absentmindedly traced the stitching on the pillowcase, a futile attempt to distract herself from the unravelling threads of their relationship.

Spencer finally spoke, his voice tight and strained. "Y/N, we can't keep doing this. It's like we're speaking different languages, and I can't seem to find the right words to make you understand."

 

You looked up, your eyes searching his for some sign of the love that had once anchored them. "Spencer, I'm not asking for much. Just a little more of you, of us. It feels like you're slipping away, and I don't know how to hold on."

 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I have my work, Y/N. You know how demanding it is. But it's not just that. I can't be the person you want me to be. I can't be everything for you, and I can't keep pretending that I can."

 

A tear slid down your cheek as you choked back a sob. "I'm not asking for everything, Spencer. I just need to know that I still matter to you. That we still matter."

 

He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. "I can't promise you that, not when I'm not sure myself. Maybe we're just not meant to be."

 

The words hung in the air, a painful admission that shattered what remained of your heart.

 

You stood, feeling the weight of their broken connection like a physical ache. "So, this is it? We just let go, and that's the end of us?"

 

Spencer closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping with the weight of their shared sorrow. "I don't know what else to do, Y/N. I can't keep hurting you, and I can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not."

 

As you gathered your strength to leave, you whispered, "I guess we're just two fragments of a love that couldn't hold us together."

 

And with that, the door closed behind you, leaving behind the fragments of a love that once flourished but now lay shattered on the floor of what used to be their shared home.

 

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[charles-leclerc-official]

Every Grand Prix in 2024 as a Taylor Swift Song

A 24 song playlist to capture the 2024 season vibes. Each song is meant to capture something unique about each race or to convey a notable moment.

Now this is Charles and Ferrari biased, I am not giving Mclaren the happy endings here.

Bahrain: New Romantics

"We team up, then switch sides like a record changer"

"Please take my hand and // Please take me dancing, and // Please leave me stranded // It's so romantic"

Start of a new season with hopes and also old rivalries. Let's go, everyone's excited even though the race was a disaster for most teams with their cars falling apart, but baby heartbreak is the national anthem, so stay hyped!

Jeddah: Fearless

"'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this // You take my hand and drag me head first // Fearless"

Ollie did jump in that car fearlessly.

Australia: . . . Ready For It?

"So I'll take my time // Are you ready for it? // Oh, are you ready for it?"

This was the race that in hindsight was the beginning of a tone shift, Ferrari 1-2 and the whole world saw that the Red Bull car/team wasn't perfect.

And in hindsight I don't think any of us were in fact ready for it.

Suzuka: Dancing With Our Hands Tied

"I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance // Oh, through an avalanche?"

Hard fought race on many sides, especially Yuki and Charles who had the defining drives this race.

China: The Way I Loved You

"Breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind of rush"

"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain"

Rain means we needed some rain metaphors, and also this is when we started to really see some fighting on track between the Ferraris and also between Lewis and Max and Max and Lando. A lot of clashes happened here that would foreshadow tensions later in the season.

Miami: This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

"This is why we can't have nice things, darlin' // Because you break them, I had to take them away"

This is the song the safety car was playing when it came out where it did.

Imola: Out of The Woods

"Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet, good"

A race with many questions. Max barely held on to his lead, Ferrari wasn't sure where they were with the upgrades, a lot of questions left to ask after a fairly uneventful race.

Monaco: Long Live

"Long live the walls we crashed through // How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you // I was screaming, 'Long live all the magic we made'"

Really no other song can come close to capturing the Monaco win.

Canada: This is Me Trying

"I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting."

Another race of struggle. Not just for Charles and Ferrari as a whole, but this was not an easy race for anyone. A lot of things fell apart. Merc messed up, Mclaren messed up, Checo and Red Bull massively messed up. This was the race of the strugglers.

Spain: Anti-Hero

"I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser"

"It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me"

A lot of problems cropping up again, and again, they are familiar battles that still have yet to find resolution.

Austria: Bejeweled

"Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room I can still make the whole place shimmer"

"I think it's time to teach some lessons"

Max did teach some lessons, and George did come out of this still bejeweled.

Britain: The Alchemy

"I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong"

"So when I touch down // Call the amateurs and // Cut 'em from the team // Ditch the clowns, get the crown // Baby I'm the one to beat"

Taylor wrote this song so it could be played for Lewis' return to the top step. Doesn't matter the rest of the field behind him was having the worst race of their lives, Lewis was the moment.

Hungary: Getaway Car

"It was the best of times, the worst of crimes. I struck a match and blew your mind. But I didn't mean it, and you didn't see it."

"No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car"

Yeah, Oscar bites it turns out. Nothing good starts in an orange car.

Spa: Haunted

"It's getting dark and it's all too quiet and I can't trust anything now. And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake."

Inside George's head after his win was taken due to the team's mistake.

Zandvoort: I Forgot That You Existed

"I forgot that you existed // It isn't love, it isn't hate // It's just indifference"

There's only one orange army, and it aint Mclaren.

Monza: Sweeter than Fiction

"I will say, "I knew it all along" // Your eyes are wider than distance // This life is sweeter than fiction"

"Proved me right, proved me right when you proved them wrong. And in this perfect weather, it's like we don't remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever"

Charles winning after so many thought it was over, proved a lot of people wrong and reminded the sport why winning in Monza only matters in red.

Baku: Should've Said No

"Yesterday I found out about you. Even now just looking at you feels wrong."

"You should've said, "No" // You should've gone home // You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go"

I mean, intense race, with crashes and an illegal car part scandal that will forever taint the race result? Yeah seems like the classic infidelity song captures the strong emotions from that weekend.

Singapore: Vigilante Shit

"You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them"

"I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends"

Max stole the show in Singapore, not only with his drive, but also with his response to sweargate. It didn't matter who won or how, this is where Max stopped playing nice with the media and the FIA this season.

Austin: I'm Only Me When I'm With You

"Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you."

Only team worth winning with is red, Charles and Ferrari together in the chaos of this season for the highs and the lows, this being another high.

Mexico: Castles Crumbling

"And I feel like my castle's crumbling down // And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground"

"Their faith was strong, but I pushed it too far. I held that grudge 'til it tore me apart."

A lot of things falling apart this race. Similar to Canada in many ways.

Brazil: Wonderland

"And life was never worse but never better"

"Flashing lights and we took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole. You held on tight to me 'cause nothing's as it seems and spinning out of control"

Hard to find a song that captures the duality of the high that Max and the alpines experienced alongside the chaos and pain felt by the rest of the field, but life was never worse but never better is as close as I can get.

Vegas: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

"Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years, will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, 'Good riddance'"

This seems pointed, but Charles basically recited the bridge to this song in his post race radio. That was the standout moment that people were talking about. Now I also think it fits as this was Max's fourth win and that win sent a message to all the small (likely british) men who questioned his fitness as a champion and tried to stop him at every turn this season.

Qatar: I Bet You Think About Me

"Mr. Superior Thinkin' Do you have all the space that you need?"

"I bet you think about me when you say "Oh my God, she's insane, she wrote a song about me" // I bet you think about me."

Hard to encapsulate the George vs Max of it all in a single song. But the tone of this one I think fits the petty vibes.

Abu Dhabi: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

"Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die"

"All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting "More" I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart"

Charles drove like that for the fool's chance at the constructor's, and then they made him act in a stupid movie. In any case losing the constructor's was heartbreaking, but we continue on because it's Ferrari and we come back next year stronger.

That and I think the song is a good finish to the season where so many just had to keep going even when it was hard (physically and mentally)

That's my playlist. Congrats on surviving whatever the 2024 F1 season was.

Hopefully 2025 makes for a banger playlist too.

[thegracefulknight]

Ciel/Lizzy Playlist

Long post ahead

Okay, so I tried made a list of songs which I think would be perfect for them. ♫ These songs are based from both of their POVs, though it may lean more towards Lizzy's.

Each song is arranged according to how O!Ciel and Lizzy's dynamics progressed through the manga. I also included parts of the song lyrics that highlight their relationship well, or those that resonate with important parts in their story. The first few songs are kinda meh but the last ones are sure to hurt like crazy! xD This playlist has 26 songs btw, so prepare your tissues and cry with me!

Hope you guys give it a listen! ♡

Song List:

1. Sad Song (We The Kings ft. Elena Coats)

—A light, almost fairy-tale like opening highlighting Lizzy and her dreams with R!Ciel. Together with O!Ciel, they are three children living in their happy, idyllic childhood.

"You're the perfect melody, the only harmony I wanna hear / You're my favorite part of me/ With you standing next to me /I've got nothing to fear"

2. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)

— Lizzy's sorrow after the murder of the Phantomhives. She remembers the boy she had sacrificed a lot of things for, the boy who was supposed to be her fairytale ending.

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you / When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too/ And when you're gone /The words I need to hear to always get me through the day /And make it okay /I miss you"

3. Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift ft. Joy Williams & Paul White)

— "Ciel" returns after one month; however, he has now changed. For the sake of the broken boy who returned to her, Lizzy makes another sacrifice, vowing to be a wife that could protect him, and keep him safe.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright / No one can hurt you now / Come morning light / You and I'll be safe and sound"

4. Your Guardian Angel (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

— Despite not wanting to get closer to her initially, O!Ciel finds himself caring for his brother's betrothed. He has protected her time and again, and vows to always protect her at all costs.

"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing / And stars are falling all for us / Days grow longer and nights grow shorter / I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) / I'll stand up with you forever / I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) / Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

5. THE CONTORTIONIST (Melanie Martinez)

— A song where Lizzy contemplates on how she keeps up the facade of being cute for her fiancé because of a comment made a long time ago. This song highlights the moment where she decides she is done pretending to be weak and cute.

"Twisted all my limbs for you / Two of them in knots and two of them in loops / Ribbons tied around like a noose / Wonder if I'll ever get it loose / I don't wanna bruise for you /Holding back my words until my face is blue (Huh) /I don't really care 'bout your crew / You can tell 'em what you wanted to

... I'm done, I'm done /Done doing backbends, I break and I snap / It's no fun, no fun / Pushed myself into a box while you held out a gun /I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah! / I'm done, I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

6. Queen (Loren Gray)

— The theme for the monumental scene where she drops the act and reveals her strength in the midst of the bizarre dolls. For love, the throws away her beauty. Which only leaves the boy beside her struck with awe at this new side of her.

"You can call me a princess all you like / 'Cause you like to keep me helpless by your side / But it ain't what I want, I'ma show you, I'ma show you / How to treat me like a queen /Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

/ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Boy, you better bow down on your knees / Can I get a "Yes, your majesty?"

7. You'll Be Safe Here (Rico Blanco)

— After Lizzy's unexpected revelation, the earl accepts her true self and begins to admire her more.

"Close your eyes, dry your tears / 'Cause when nothing seems clear / You'll be safe here from the sheer weight / Of your doubts and fears / Weary heart, you'll be safe here

... "And though the world would never understand / This unlikely union and why it still stands / Someday, we will be set free / Pray and believe"

8. So Close (Jon McLaughlin)

— The victory party after the second Sapphire Miracle has been memorable, not only for students, but also for the guests. Just for this one night, O!Ciel lets himself enjoy the night by dancing.. with her.

"A life goes by, romantic dreams must die / So I bid mine goodbye and never knew / So close was waiting, waiting here with you / And now forever I know / All that I want is to hold you so close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending / Almost believing this one's not pretend / Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come / So far we are so close"

9. You and I (Tatu)

— A song about the earl and the lady as a reflection of their circumstances, and their wish to protect. And wanting to believe.

"Just a side / To an anguished street, criticized/ For what we believe / If we hide, maybe we can make it through this / Is it fair, to be burned away? / Is it fair, that we live this way? /Victimized, for a life we didn't ask for

No truths to confirm / No lies to deny / Too hopeless to care /We're too scared to cry"

10. Smoke (PVRIS)

— Lizzy thinks she and her beloved have gotten closer, but have they? Somewhere in her mind, there is a small fuse waiting to be lit.

"You're just a ghost of blissful feelings / A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing / An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind. / I see your face, an apparition / But now it's changed / Shape shifting / Don't wanna open my eyes."

11. Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

— Just as Lizzy thought things will start changing for the better between them, small things that went unnoticeable at first are now telling her that something.. still feels not right.

"But there's a side to you / That I never knew, never knew /All the things you'd say / They were never true, never true / And the games you'd play / You would always win, always win"

12. Aoki Tsuki Michite (Book of Circus ED Theme, covered by AmaLee)

— A song where O!Ciel looks back on the choices he made, as he strengthens his resolve to go down the path he chose.

"Praise your palette of lies / For it's a masterpiece that you have created / All of your promises, bleeding in flawless harmony

Sing another spell, paint another dream / We could bring to life a new reality / All of my mistakes, gathering like storm clouds / Will soon rain down on me"

13. I Know You (Skylar Grey)

— Trying to ignore her doubts, Lizzy still continues to yearn to understand her fiancé who has changed and remained distant ever since that month. In her deepest wishes, she pleads to be allowed inside his heart.

"I believe, I believe there's love in you / Gridlocked on the dusty avenues / Inside your heart, just afraid to go / I am more, I am more than innocent / But just take a chance and let me in / And I'll show you ways that you don't know

Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate, Yeah / I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith

So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby / So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby"

14. Demons (Imagine Dragons; covered by Sam Tsui & Kurt Hugo Schneider)

— Despite Lizzy's efforts, the earl remains distant. He has embraced the darkness and his impending end, and the only thing he believes he can do is to keep her at a distance, for more reasons than one.

"They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate / It's woven in my soul / I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how"

15. Leave the Memories Alone (Fuel)

— A song from the earl's POV, as he reminisces the past and how he wishes to keep Lizzy in the light.

"I wanted you.. to stay by the windowsill with the blooming roses."

"So I find me in your garden now / A sad smile for the scene / And all the flowers that we planted now / Taken by the weeds / But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me / They stand tall there, in that summer breeze

Leave the memories alone, I don't want to see / The way it is, as to how it used to be / Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing / And I'll just hold you here in my memory"

16. What Was I Made For? (Billie Eilish)

— Lizzy reflects on her duties as the future wife of the Queen's Watchdog, and her sadness at not being able to help or understand the earl. The growing distance between them makes her feel desperate for answers.

"I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I'm not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for? / Takin' a drive, I was an ideal / Looked so alive, turns out, I'm not real / Just something you paid for / What was I made for?

'Cause I, I / I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try / I don't know how to feel, but someday I might / Someday I might"

17. Empty (PVRIS)

— Desperate to find a way to understand O!Ciel, Lizzy starts going to the Sphere Music Hall. However, what she finds there changes her forever.

"You see I want the world to believe, that there's a light inside of me / But it's time that I'll come clean / I'm not what I seem, no / Some would say I'm possessed, yeah / But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed / With life and death and emptiness, I guess / Can't you see all of the change in me?"

18. My Immortal (Evanescence)

— Lizzy remembers all the sacrifices she made for Ciel. She gave her heart for her betrothed, but now that she realizes her love has been given to two different people, where does her love for one end, and where does it begin for the other? Who does she really love? Somehow, she already knows the answer, and it is causing her anguish over her supposed love. *This song could be interpreted to be directed to both the twins, as Lizzy thought all this time that she was loving one person only.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light / Now I'm bound by the life you left behind / Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams / Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears / When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears / And I held your hand through all of these years / But you still have all of me"

19. Stay With Me (Danity Kane)

— Lizzy is in disbelief after discovering that the Ciel she has been with for the past three years was not her true betrothed. She tries so hard to hold on to the image of O!Ciel, the boy who accepted her, and the fiance she has come to love with all her heart. However, the ugly, undeniable truth is right in front of her.

"I've searched my heart over so many many times / No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night / Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days / You promised me we'd always be / And never go away / That's why I need you to stay

Stay with me, don't let me go / Cause I can't be without you /Just stay with me and hold me close / Because I've built my world around you / And I don't wanna know what it's like without you / So stay with me, just stay with me, stay.."

20. Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)

— Looking back to the times she tried to keep up her cheerful facade and balancing it with her strong side in front of the boy she loved— O!Ciel, Lizzy finally shatters under the grief and heartache of learning his lie.

"I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh/ Every day of my life/ My heart can't possibly break / When it wasn't even whole to start with.."

"...Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything / Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in / Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty / Because of you / I am afraid"

21. Stand In The Rain (Superchick)

— She's mad, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to return to the days where she doesn't know anything, and be by his side. But her duty is to remain here. Heartbroken, mad at herself and filled with guilt, she compensates by staying by R!Ciel's side.

"She won’t make a sound / Alone in this fight with herself / And the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down

She wants to be found / The only way out is through everything / She’s running from, wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain, stand your ground / Stand up when it’s all crashing down / You stand through the pain, you won’t drown / And one day what’s lost can be found / You stand in the rain"

22. Beautiful Girl (Broken Iris)

— O!Ciel's lies, mistakes and choices have finally come to haunt him. He realizes this as soon as his eyes met his twin brother's. And most of all, he finally discovers the reason why Lizzy left.

"Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late / I end this day in a most bitter way / A regretful state but...

I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile. I still remember the way you said "good-bye" / No matter how hard I try I can't forget about /

Beautiful Girl, on top of the world / Don't fall down, because an angel / Should never touch ground.."

23. Never Be The Same (Red)

— The sudden appearance of R!Ciel turns his world upside down. Remaining silent with a darkened expression on his face, a disheartened, regretful earl reminisces his memories with Lizzy

"I can see, I can still find /You're the only voice my heart can recognize /But I can't hear you now, yeah. /I'll never be the same / I'm caught inside the memories, the promises /Are yesterdays and I belong to you. / I just can't walk away, 'cause after loving you / I can never be the same."

24. Broken Inside (Broken Iris)

— Fighting despair, the earl descends further deep into the darkness. He is determined to take back everything, no matter what it takes.

"The thinning line between you and my sanity / Is quickly fading / Takes just a breeze to cause a storm /Takes just a breath to cause a scream / It takes me to cause a tragedy.."

"Until the end of me, I swear / You'll be the death of me / I dare you to cross the line again / Because deep down inside /There's something that waits to be / Broken Inside"

25. The Scientist (Coldplay)

— O!Ciel should have known that this is coming. He knew he lied, and was willing to take this to his grave. But he didn't expect to feel like this when it did happen. If only things have been different..

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions / Oh let's go back to the start / Running in circles; coming up tails / Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy / It's such a shame for us to part / Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard / Oh take me back to the start"

26. Descent Within (Broken Iris)

— Outro; the perfect ending for a story doomed to end in tragedy

[cherry-romper]

Loving You Sounds Like a Song

Playlist

+ Kafka, Reno, Shinomiya, Iharu, Haruichi, Aoi, Hoshina, Mina, Gen

Kafka Hibino; Stand by me – Ben E. King

I won’t be afraid, Just as long as you stand, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon, Should crumble and fall, Or the mountains should crumble to the see

I won’t cry, No, I won’t shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, Stand by me

Whenever you’re in trouble, won’t you stand by me?

Reno Ichikawa; Look After You – The Fray

My heart has started to separate, Be my baby

There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go

Will you, won’t you, be the one I’ll always know?

I’ll look after you

Kikoru Shinomiya; The Chain – Fleetwood Mac

Damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again

We would never break the chain

Damn the dark, damn the light

Iharu Furuhashi; Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Boys Town Gang 

You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off you

At long last love has arrived and I thank God I’m alive

Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare

I love you baby and if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, to warm a lonely night

Haruichi Izumo; August – Taylor Swift

Whispers of “are you sure?”, “Never have I before”

August slipped away like a bottle of wine

Your back beneath the sun, Wishin’ I could write my name on it 

Wanting was enough, For me, it was enough

Aoi kaguragi; West Coast - Lana Del Rey

You’ve got the music in you, don’t you?

Boy blue, yeah you

You’re fallin’ hard, I push away, I’m feelin’ hot to the touch

You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much

Soushirou Hoshina; Only Love Can Save Us Now – Kesha

The power of Christ compels me, I’m a demon

Keep singin’ “hallelujah” nothin’ can save us

I’m ‘bout to blow your fuckin’ head through the ceilin’

Yeah, I’m possessive, maybe I’m possessed, bitch

Mina Ashiro; California – Lana Del Rey

You don’t ever have o be stronger than yo really are

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

Ill catch you on the flip side, If you come back to California

Gen Narumi; Stronger - Kanye West

Man, I been waiting all night now, That's how long I been on ya'

I need you right now

Play secretary, I'm the boss tonight

Bow in the presence of greatness

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi Louis, are there any plot points/mentions on 9-1-1 that you wish were expanded further on the show (not just Buddie related)? For myself I'm still a little bitter they never mentioned all Buck did during the tsunami.

And when Buck and Eddie get married, what song do you think will be their first dance to? (I already made 3 playlists for them but Strangers by Maddie & Tae makes me go This is so them every time I listen to it. )

Thank you for making scrolling through the Buddie tag so much fun, Carly

ooohhhh im so gald you brought this up bc ive been dying to talk about it—

but in all seriousness i love this question!!

1. plot points i wish were expanded on more

i have a few but im only going to narrow it down to this one because it is something that has always kind if rubbed me the wrong way… but i really wish they could have spent more time exploring Hen’s relationship with her mom. I might be in the minority here, but to me the whole arc of Toni coming back into Hen’s life felt very quick and almost…. too simple? (not that it was simple at ALL but) As a queer person who has had a rocky relationship with my parents, it is always something i love to see portrayed in media more rather than just automatically jumping to the “supportive ally” trope as a way to make a story more feel-good if that makes sense. And i saw the bones for that in the storyline with Hen and Toni, but because of the state of the show at FOX that season i understand why they didn’t make it a bigger deal….. however i really wish they had!

(also i agree them never mentioning what buck did in the tsunami has always rubbed me the wrong way— i definitely feel like they all should have already gotten medals at this point for other rescues in the past so the fact that they only just now are getting them has annoyed me, but im just glad the firefam is getting recognition for something)

2. Buddie Wedding Song

I am kissing you on the forehead for this question bc i love love love love LOVE talking about stuff like this….

This isn’t for their first dance, but i have always loved the idea of Karen singing “At Last” during the ceremony (a la bones, which wasn’t what inspired it in my head but upon further inspection is actually really similar to what i would want their wedding to look like) bc i think the fact that we haven’t heard tracie thoms’ voice on the show yet is a CRIME.

As as far as a first dance song, i love the idea of them dancing to something softer— a couple that come to mind are Love Like This (Ben Rector) and Love Me Tender (Norah Jones). If they wanna cash in on the Adele hype now, i DEFINITELY wouldn’t be opposed to Make You Feel My Love (maybe even sung by Maddie so that we get JLH’s vocals again??). i also could see You Are The Reason (Calum Scott). If they wanted to go the taylor swift route, i could see You Are In Love, Enchanted, or even Daylight (which daylight would admittedly have me sobbing like a baby).

Also strangers by maddie & tae is SOOOOOO BUDDIE…. this wouldn’t be their first dance song, but Friends Don’t is such a quintessential Buddie song to me 👌👌👌

thank you for the ask, and your sweet note at the end! I really loved getting to answer this ask 💕💕

[mieczyhale]

this was so fun!! much thanks to @its-tortle for the tag (as i get to this ages late lmao)

- - - - - - - - - -

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up. (Skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer!)

1. First off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

I love everything, fire's spreading all around my room, my world's so bright, it's hard to breathe but that's alright "cradles" - sub urban

2. What kind of [insert my super secret zodiac sign] are you?

You've got to make a choice if the music drowns you out, and raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth "sing" - my chemical romance

3. You’re visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

Can you feel it? I gotta live with it everyday, I can't take the pressure, I'm going insane "bad religion" - godsmack

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

They say"freak" when you're singled out, the red, well it filters through "red" - chevelle

5. Say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

Take or leave who I am 'cause this is me, like a fish out of water, do I belong here? "pride" - american authors

6. What would you say about your best friends?

Speak to me when all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do "move along" - the all-american rejects

7. Think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

I just wanted you to tell me the truth, you know I'd do that for you "running away" - hoobastank

8. Describe your aesthetic now:

I won't give up so don't give in, you've fallen down but you will rise again "a reason to fight" - disturbed

9. What’s a lyric that they’ll quote in your eulogy?

I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold, but that cycle ends right now, 'cause you can't lead me down that road "mean" - taylor swift

10. And for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you "stuck in the middle" - stealers wheel

tagging:: @deanspillowprincess @penguinsandpanthers @ketterdam-snack-bar @octoberconstellation @starkund-schon and whoever else wants to do it :3