#not Johnny

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

THE SCREAM THAT JUST LEFT MY BODY. FIRST YOU MAKE HIM MOVE TO UTAH AND THEN UTAH INJURIES HIM OH I AM LIVID

[selenevassos]

john wick holding shadow the hedgehog like mary holding baby jesus

[fuhosh-i]

“Where’s the pathetic element?” Exactly Tom Hardy. Exactly.

(x)

[thestuffedalligator]

It is November of 1893. You have just killed a vampire. Exhausted and worn, you close your eyes and rest.

You wake up. It is May of 1893. You are on a train en route to Transylvania. Your diary says you have had queer dreams lately.

You try to believe it.

(An old woman puts a rosary in your hands. You accept it without question.)

You are a guest in a castle you have never been in before (you recognize every hallway and know without trying that every door is locked). Your host is a man you have never met before (you killed him you killed him you killed him he had turned to dust and there was blood on the snow).

One morning you cut yourself while shaving.

There is nobody behind you in the pocket mirror’s reflection.

You turn fast, and the razor is like a Kukri knife in your hand.

[thefantastician]

the thousand year door comics!!

[mischievous-thunder]

It's him, Johnny. Logan himself is the source. He tried to get out of the Void that way and failed.

[bluegiragi]

couch potato.

early access + nsfw on patreon

[devil-in-hiding]

the men finding farmer!reader awake earlier than you usually are one morning, scribbling in a little notebook at the kitchen table, eyes darting between your words and the calendar on the wall

“good morning, there’s tea on the stove and toast on the counter.” you greet, voice soft and tired and Price rolls his eyes.

(once you start warming up to them and allowing them to help more, they grill you about working yourself to exhaustion)

“Thought you promised to take it easy this morning.” He mutters, giving Grimes a scratch behind the ears as he goes to grab a mug. He feels Ghost squeeze by behind him, hands warm on his lower back as he pours his tea.

“I’m making a schedule Price.” You yawn, shooing Soap away he tries to snatch the last bite of eggs of your plate. “Hey!” You snap, slapping his hand. Soap looks at you as though you beat him. “Not even a little bite?”

“Make your own, you don’t even like my eggs-“

“Aye! All I said that mornin’ was they was runny!” He whines, and Ghost lightly shoves him away, stealing the seat closest to you.

“What kind of schedule hm?” He questions, trying to peer down at the paper.

“Breeding season.”

Gaz chokes on a piece of toast, Soap slapping his back quickly. Ghost’s fork clatters back onto his plate and Price freezes, only to curse when scalding tea cascades over the side of his mug and down his hand.

You watch, brow raised, as they compose themselves.

“Breeding season?” Soap asks weakly, voice tight and you look between them, tilting your head.

“Yeah…? For the animals…?” You say slowly, and they let out a synchronised groan, Price running a hand over his face.

“Christ love, learn how to phrase shit yeah?”

“What? What do you mean? It’s breeding season!”

“Lass please-“

[yooo-lets-go]

Wish you were here

[writersdrug]

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish is the kind of dad who throws your kids around for fun, tossing them into the air and catching them just to hear their infectious laughter, ignoring the worrisome protests that you call out from the kitchen when they get a little too high.

Captain John Price is the kind of dad who convinces your children to ask you for pizza for dinner, acting all surprised when you tell him to call the local pizza place, eyebrows rising with "What's the occasion?" despite the obvious grin that his plan worked. You aren't fooled.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is the kind of dad who chases your kids around with a nerf gun, relentlessly pelting them with styrofoam bullets and ganging up on your oldest son with your youngest daughter. Waits behind the front door for your son to get home from school and immediately fires on him.

Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of dad who holds your toddlers like footballs, your daughter tucked sideways under his arm and dangling your son by his ankle. "Found these mice sniffin' 'round the cookie tin." He says with a deadpan expression, but you don't miss the way his mouth twitches when they giggle and shriek.

[silvergifs]

Cinematic masterpiece.

[prokopetz]

I love it when fanartists emphasise the physical contrasts between their favoured pairings to the point that they don't even look like they're drawn in the same art style anymore. Locked Tomb fans are out there drawing Harrow/Gideon like they're shipping Johnny the Homicidal Maniac with Johnny Bravo.

[buttdumplin]

yeah simon is the one to scare people away when they get too close you, using his size and movement to intimidate, simultaneously shielding you behind him

yeah soap is the one barking loud, creating a spectacle and calling people out, and warning them away

yeah kyle is the one humiliating people, mocking offenders until either their own actions dawn on them or they finally recognize the venom in his eyes

but price is the one that launches into swinging. there is no warning, no hesitation. taking a step, even a single word against you, warrants immediate action in his mind. it's no laughing fucking matter. you are a top fucking prize, his prize, the best the world has to offer. john is rabid in his protection, bearing tooth and boot and claw and fist. there’s no point in talking to him or trying to negotiate, an offense is an offense and he won’t meet it halfway. someone looks at you the wrong way? they won't be able to see out of swollen eyes after headbutts them, crushing their nose. someone whispers something nasty about you? good luck even eating with that jaw wired shut. god forbid someone touches you, the other three boys can barely hold him back. john will break countless bones in every way he knows and beat his knuckles bloody if your smile starts to drop. 

[parasprite]

im addicted to this video btw i quote it daily

[fruitymarcy]

Goku is on Namek fightin that Frieza guy…Goku uhh…flyin or doin somethin over there…

[devil-in-hiding]

okay we talk a lot about how mean and tough and what bullies the 141 would be in the bedroom

but can we have some goofy moments please

Simon having to collapse face down onto the bed because his legs have locked up from his orgasm, shoulders shaking from his muffled laughter as he tries to regain control of his limbs and breathing “fuckin hell love, milked me fuckin dry, jesus” reaching over, giving your ass an appreciative pat, grinning when your gorgeous laughter reaches his ears

Johnny just about knocking the two of you out in his hurry to pull you up for a kiss, hips never stopping as he groans, nudging his nose against yours as he grunts out a “sorry baby, moved ye too fast”, he is the king of accidentally falling off the bed whilst changing positions

Kyle who is a sweaty, panting mess and absolutely drops his body weight ontop of you once his energy has throughly been drained, only moving when you start to whine that he’s too heavy, “you’re on my hair kyle! ugh get off you’re so gross!” “mmm you still think i’m pretty though… god okay okay i’m going!”

John who bends your leg to far back and spends the better part of 15 minutes apologizing, massaging the muscle out for you as he stretches your leg, pressing little kisses along your ankle and calf. “i’m sorry pretty, didn’t mean to hurt my sweet girl..” trailing kisses up your thighs, meeting your eyes as he presses a sloppy little kiss to your clit