#not *entirely* satisfied with it

[pallysuune]

Summery: Rushal overthinks things while wandering the Nightfall.

Pairing: Sevatar/Rushal (just a little bit)

A/N: More a character study than anything else. I have a lot of thoughts about Rushal and how he could have come to be a traitor, and just kinda wrote them out in prose instead of just headcanons. xD

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The dark, deserted places of the Nightfall were good for thinking. Unlike what many of the Night Lords thought, the Raven was not some broken, thoughtless pet leashed to Sevatar's side. He still had his mind, even if he'd lost any way to speak it in more than gestures and battle signs.

He haunted the depths of the Nightfall, the lightless places, where the only sound was his own breathing and the whisper of his clothes as he moved. It was nice, in a way. No reason for him to try pretending he was anything. That, itself, felt so very strange. He been pretending for a long time.

He had been Terran, once. He'd had a mother and father. He'd lived a portion of a life with them. Not long, of course. He was still young when he was chosen to be part of the Emperor's angels. He had still considered himself Terran when he joined the Legion. And yet, his skin color faded to a pallid, colorless white, his hair and his eyes darkened to the color of ink, his memories of a life before the endless war among the stars faded, and it became harder and harder to think of himself as Terran.

He was a Raven Guard, and nothing more.

And then their Primarch came, and he brought with him those who came from Deliverance, with their ways and their values. They remembered who they were, and their Primarch brought their ways into the Legion, prioritized them more and more, while it was clear he did not trust those from Terra the same as those from his own home. Slowly, the culture of the Raven Guard began to change. And Rushal found it harder to think of himself as whatever it was they had become.

He could no longer identify with his Terran past, nor with the Raven Guard around him. He was a pretender among them.

He drifted through the pitch-black halls. They were nothing to the eyes of an Astartes. He could see clearly enough. Barren walls. Pipes. Mesh decking. Things that skittered in the dark. Even he wasn't certain if they were animals from some planet or another, or something that had slipped aboard in the warp. He paid it no mind.

It hadn't been all that difficult for Sevatar to leverage the feelings of isolation and frustration. Maybe he should have been angry at the manipulation, but he wasn't. He was, in some ways, what he was used to. The Astartes were all manipulated in various ways. From the idolization of them by human populations that led young boys into dreaming of being one, to the conditioning they were put through, they had all been manipulated. Sevatar had not manipulated him since, at least, and had offered him more than a life of fighting for an Emperor who had used them all, in a Legion that did not want him, while he slowly lost anything that had made him *him*.

It baffled him now how his former brothers couldn't see that they were serving a man who was the exact opposite of what they claimed to stand for. He'd been vaguely aware of the hypocrisy of it even before Isstvan. Those from Deliverance claimed to fight for the freedom of human populations, to abhor tyrants like those that had lorded over them once. And yet, they fought for the Emperor. There wasn't a larger tyrant in the entire galaxy than the Emperor of Mankind. Anyone with eyes could see it. And yet, they chose not to acknowledge it. They refused to see it. Even he was guilty of it. He'd realized the truth long before he had joined the Night Lords, but he'd convinced himself that they were still doing the right thing. A tyrant, maybe, but the better of the evils out there in the galaxy. A tyrant was what humanity needed to defend it from the threats that lay in the stars.

Yet, that wasn't the truth, was it? The galaxy was no safer now than it had once been, especially with his sons fracturing.

Rushal paused, reaching one hand out to brush against the wall. Someone had drawn on the metal in streaks of grease and oil. A symbol that shouldn't exist, one that hurt the eyes to look at. He flattened his palm against the wall and wiped it away.

He had no love for the gods of Chaos. He had no love for the Emperor. His loyalties were his own. His goals weren't to unite or corrupt the galaxy.

"I didn't realize I'd taken on a janitor."

Rushal glanced over at the familiar, rasping voice, his eyes lingering for a moment on the form of Sevatar as the man leaned against a wall opposite and just behind him. He wondered how long the man had been following him while he'd been thinking. The smirk on Sevatar's lips told him that he likely wouldn't enjoy the answer. He turned, wiping his grease-stained palm on his pants absentmindedly.

"Come, the Kyroptera are meeting and I want you nearby," Sevatar said, beckoning him closer.

Rushal moved to his side without hesitation, and Sevatar's smile spread wider, flashing more gentle for just a moment. He leaned in, pressing his lips to Rushal's with a fierce possessiveness, teeth raking his bottom lip for just a moment before he drew back, flashed him a smirk, and moved to lead the way back out of the deepest parts of the Nightfall, and back up to where others were.

His goals were now very simple, Rushal mused as he followed the broad back of the other man: Survive, and ensure Sevatar survived.

The rest of the world could burn for all he cared.

[hmyrine]

"..but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret." he served so much cunt

[chiropteracupola]

a little victorian boy and his elderly maiden aunts

[i love @pangur-and-grim's weird cats and wanted to draw them beatrix potter style]

[kittarts]

[ruporas]

birthday party (id in alt)

[anjellicles]

my 2023 sv designs bc i only ever draw bq HA

[aingeal98]

More Jason and Cass thoughts (sorry but also not sorry) but if I was magically given full control over DC and could write what I'd want obviously I'd make Cass Batman but I've been thinking of what sort of reaction and role Jason would have in response. I think I'd write his version of "Congrats on the new job!" as a test, involving the Joker and civilians and gangs and Red Hood and a ton of explosives. Bruce failed me, and now he's given up. You're his successor, let's see how you handle this dilemma that freaked him out so badly he threw a batarang into my throat rather than let me avenge my own death in front of him.

So obviously Cass will overcome the traps and the puzzles. That's the fun part to show how competent both of them are and sprinkle in little character moments as we go. But then we reach the emotional crux of the matter, probably laid out as some sort of saw trap because it's Jason. Here I am, a victim of murder. You say nobody dies tonight but I did, and I want the man who did it dead. Not only did Batman fail to avenge me but he failed to stop the Joker from going on to create even more victims. What right do you have to stop me from getting justice for myself? What right does this man have to life after what he's taken from me and from countless others? I'm not trying to kill a random stranger, I'm specifically demanding justice for my own death that I never got while I was gone.

There are two ways this could go. The straightforward route if I knew my time on this run was limited would probably be a pyrrhic victory like the ones Cass's og series was so fond of. Just like Bruce in utrh, she acts on instinct and saves the Joker (and Jason this time) . A win technically, but she fails the test. Jason is once again vindicated but with nothing to show for it. The story ends with Cass sending the Joker back to jail and going back to the batcave, where the old Robin costume looms judgementally, highlighting her failure. It would be the most fitting end given their character molds, all tragedy and conviction and unstoppable force meets immovable object etc.

However... I think the option I prefer would be a little different. Cass levelling with Jason, a killer talking to a murder victim. She has no right to stop Jason from getting justice, she has no love for the Joker but she knows any death she allows to happen like this would devastate her, just like that death row inmate long ago she tried to break out but ended up letting go once the family of the victim talked to her and demanded justice. I think... In this specific situation, she'd just be honest. Morally she has no right sure. Personally she just really really doesn't want anyone to die. Give her one chance, please. Let her try it her way. Not demanding, not lecturing or insisting, just... Please. Don't do this. Let me try another way.

And then what? Jason asks.

In the end a deal is struck. Cass will take the Joker and lock him up, ensuring he never harms anyone again while also trying to rehabilitate him. But the second she fails and he gets free, Jason kills him and she won't stand in his way. It's the kind of deal that leaves both of them mildly disgusted and dissatisfied with themselves, neither of them naturally creatures of compromise when it comes to this specific topic. But Cass is willing to do anything to avoid death and Jason did not expect the new Bat to be so... Flexible? Kind of? Of course maybe she won't actually hold up her end of the deal and when the Joker gets loose she'll try and stop Jason from killing him and he'll get his miserable vindication, but right now this is something strange and new and he's mildly confused and curious about where it will go. He doesn't believe in her ability to contain the Joker forever but he's willing to let her try because her reaction to that future failure interests him. She's given him a sword of damocles to hang above her head and he didn't ask for it or expect it. It's the type of power he never thought the Bat would just... Hand to him.

The conflict ends with neither of them fully winning or losing. They both don't really know what to feel about this.

The thing is, the second Cass let's Jason kill the Joker she's hanging up the mantle. She's staking the Bat on this, because it's always go big or go home with her when it comes to saving others, even someone like the Joker. In this magical universe where I have unlimited power, Cass would lock the Joker in a secret bunker and have Leslie Thompkins talk to him daily, mostly because I think her pacifism speeches and debates in the comics would make a fun contrast to the Joker's evil sadism. (But what about his rights? Doesn't he deserve a trial and to be held in a regular prison? I'm going to be honest I think Cass would be very comfortable bending the rules on this specific situation. Morally questionable but I'd have fun with it. She's going to let Leslie treat Joker like her personal pet project to save his soul because yes she wants him to change but also she's got a city to save every night so go crazy Leslie, have fun.)

And the Batman series would continue with Cass as the lead, new challenges and new antagonists and every twenty issues or so for the first hundred we'll cut back to the Joker briefly if his chats with Leslie can help highlight some thematic element of the current arc. But bit by bit he'd slowly fade away onto oblivion, maybe getting referenced every hundred issues or so until eventually no one remembers or cares about him because there's so much else going on. Meanwhile Jason's got a good thing going as Red Hood, primarily based in Park Row and a tentative ally on the occasion when their vigilante work aligns. Unlike Joker he's a much more frequent character in the comics, and after say 10 years (this is my magical fantasy universe Cass's batman run is going to last for a very long time alright) when people think of DC characters they think of Red Hood long before they think of the Joker.

Is any of this realistic? Right now of course not. It's why I'd go with the pyrrhic victory if I actually got the chance, because it would be the best way to tell the story in the larger context of the Bat narrative. But it's my fantasy DC editor and writer daydream and I'm going to dream big. They're never going to be normal happy siblings, their personal demons will never fully let them be free and the looming possibility of losing everything they currently have narrative wise if Bruce comes back as Batman will always be there. But it's maybe the closest to peace they'll ever get. Unsatisfying and tame compromise that probably violates several laws and ethical codes but whatever. Cass has never read the Geneva convention and Jason's not going to shed tears over the Joker. Let him die relevancy wise if not physically.

[leafspiritz]

III; three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile

[stayatsam]

Back in the Saddle (Courier 6)

[lukaskyle]

I'm sorry, but you've already seen me. I can't just let you go back to the others.

[skrittkicking]

nice sword

[platoapproved]

Had I no remembrance of a warmer flame than that which gave its silvery glow to my faint smile at those who asked it of me? — THE VAMPIRE ARMAND

[docsbestkissedoperative]

On matters of the past and the future.

(Dialogue under the cut!)

Doc: Deimos.

Deimos: Hrm?

Doc: When this is over, what do you intend to do?

Deimos: Huh. Hm.

I dunno, never thought about it. Maybe I'll get out of Nevada, see what's out there.

Doc: No plans to keep on fighting?

Deimos: Why would I? I'm tired of this crap already. Death follows me everywhere, and I'm waiting for the day it goes fuck itself.

Anyway, what about you?

Doc: ...

Deimos: Doc?

Doc: I don't know either.

Deimos: You don't-

Doc: At the agency, they don't teach you anything more than murder and hatred.

They teach you to hate someone you've never met. And they expect you to die fighting.

Sometimes, you don't even know why any of it matters. Sometimes, you suddenly realize YOU don't matter.

Just another corpse in a stack of unnamed fools.

Death follows you, and you follow it with that same obsession forever.

Leave the agency if you want, but you'll never forget what it taught you. It's all I knew for so long, I don't know what else to be.

THIS IS WHAT FEELS NATURAL.

...

...

...

Deimos: Doc.

Doc: What.

Deimos: You should go with me.

Doc: What?

Deimos: Go with me. With Sanford. Drag Hank with you if they complain. When this is all over, let's go find something stupid to do.

Doc: But you said that-

Deimos: I know. That's why we'll find it. Together. With the guys who'll drag your corpse out of hell a million times over. No matter what.

Doc: And kick it out there with YOU bozos?

Deimos: Hey! We're YOUR bozos, mind you.

Doc: ...Heh. Alright.

We'll find it together.

[maniateez]

too many of my years involve a possibility that couldn't be

[nori-no-name]

Trying to get into drawing again and tragic space sapphics are always a good motivator

[nofruart]

Crosscember 2024: 2. Cross in the snow Heyoo how about some angst this time