#nor that shes anything but 16yo

[fxckinemo]

nvm i think i just miss having a family that actually cared about me

[haryuusart]

(rant, you can ignore)

I believe I'll never be truly part of a fandom in the way I've always wanted

It's a piece I've been missing since little me had access to internet: to be part of something. Which is absolutely silly and not that important, I know, but- y'know, most people, in the back of their mind, always hope that something apparently unrealistic will happen in some way, I think

So I've tried countless times to fit into fandoms of things I love but it just- never sticks (in the way I wish it would, that is). It's like goldilocks, too much, too little, but never just right

I write and a few people like it- but maybe it's too poetic, too long, simply not enough to attract

I draw and a few people like it; but perhaps it's not aesthetic enough, too stiff, not creative enough, too boring

I try engaging with people, share ideas, try to make mutuals, with artists and non artists- but maybe I'm too much, too boring, people simply don't like me and... end up ignoring me

When the genuine naïve passion was still there, not corrupted yet, I would have created anything my mind imagined, with no boundaries dictated by social medias or people. I would not care. That was my purpose in life; to be an artist.

But then my mental health progressively decayed, unstoppable and violent. I would still have the spark to create, the desire to be an artist, but I didn't have the time nor the strength to. I was too tired and busy and undiagnosed and sad and.... Everything else.

Now I'm- I wouldn't say too old, I know there are no age restrictions, but I still feel like I'm running out of time. Not because someone else necessarily set a timer for me, saying that I have to be successful in this if I want to continue being part of fandoms- maybe I set my own timer and expected to be able to meet my (probably unreasonable) expectations.

I now have more time to draw and write and create, and sometimes I do. I just feel like I've already used so much of my creativity and inspiration and... love for art, that I've almost used it all. It's like the battery is almost dead but I don't even know if I want to recharge it. Would it be worth it?

Truth is, I think there's like a 0,2% probability that I'll get what I've always wanted, and that's fair I guess. You can't have everything, right? It's just.... sad. I know 16yo me really hoped I would make it. I know 18yo me had less hopes, but still dreamt of making it somehow, by some miracle. I know 21yo had absolutely lost any hope left and swore she'd never come back and try, and I get her. I know 24yo me, when she tried creating again, felt that exhilarating spark for a moment and clinged to it for dear life.

I don't know what 26yo me feels. The spark is somewhere in the back of my mind, pushing me to try again, to not let go of this. But I don't know. I don't know if that's enough.

[fertilize-my-eggs]

I'm gonna address a comment that I got today, I already addressed this last year. Someone was talking about my extreme problematic fanfic called:" lost boy " I don't have it in my blog only on A03 where I wrote a fanfic about a adult female reader molest a five year old tenko shimura a fictional boy that doesn't exist only exists on paper and on screen.

I've addressed this and apologized to it a couple of times when people called me out for writing a fanfic. 😐

Like I don't understand how I write some fanfics where adult shigaraki has done the most unhinged things towards the reader and done non-consensual touches and having intercourse with her while she's screaming, crying out no multiple times AND no one bat an eye. BUT when it's problematic fanfics like lost boy everyone has a problem. Buddy I make problematic content, dead dove writing for years.

I understand that it'll make anyone feel uncomfortable, I get it, I'm a victim of online grooming since I was 15-16yo no one help me out or found out about me getting groomed. I don't support pedophiles at all nor do I condone with it irl. The reason why I put the tagged as pedophile in the hashtag because it is a fictional pedophile like it's straight to the point no BS type. Because I wanted to try a different taboo topic like y'all do realize that dead dove has anything to beastiality, incest and many manyyyy topic like murder and rape that you shouldn't support it. that why it fiction and it's STAY fiction.

I always put triggered warnings in tags in all of my dead dove fanfics but people will still complain about it. I answered an anonymous inbox about eri in inappropriate answers and I had a blogger tell me that it was a little girl and I replied with:" she's a fictional character. " And they replied with " still... " Like how are y'all treating a fictional character as if they're a REAL person. It's telling me that you don't care about the victims at all and this is the reason why we don't talk about our trauma because yall will victim blame and say you deserve it again . . .

I had a person argue with me about lost boy fanfic where I told them that I had therapy back then and I'm told them about my online groomed and they told me that I need to go back to therapy again.

I had a couple of accounts harassing me for just making dead dove fanfics. I had one super hawks fan told me, my online friends to off ourselves and spam in both mine and my friend's inbox as I made a fanfic about yandere hawks noncon reader smut and I found out they're a minor back then, I've blocked them afterwards. Or that one time where people on A03 complain about sleep paralysis shiggy a fanfic that had piss/watersports but not complain about other tropes where again shiggy noncon reader while she's ASLEEP!! I always put warnings, trigger in the very beginning of my fanfic and I still get people complaining about it.

I had people STILL harassing me about my fanfic lost boy to this day.

So if you don't like problematic and dead dove content please for the love of god just block me and leave me alone already.

I'm sorry that you got triggered easily and I'll still make problematic dead dove content and will still be a proshipper and lolishotacon.

I'll probably take a long break after this I'm exhausted. 😮‍💨

[ds2mtoi]

the last dream.

⚠️ warning for DISCO ELYSIUM spoilers, you've been warned.

(i had just reached the tiny islet, and of course, went straight to take a rest as soon as possible on that cold bed—knowing what was ahead of me. that final dream. that intersection. that video rental.)

(it had took me an hour and a half to get through the dream, it was utterly devastating—and of course, miserable. it was just sad, it's hard for me to think of anything pretty to say, especially after meeting her innocence, DOLORES DEI. she is so, suffocatingly beautiful, that i am left speechless along with HARRY. conceptualising is harder than i thought.)

(i can't even begin to describe, let alone fathom how utterly devastating it was to go through that dream again. it felt even goddamn worse than last time i played, just a year ago. i was thrown inside HARRY'S shoes, i got plunged inside his mind, i was essentially him, or a part of him. even though HARRY and i weren't even underwater, it felt like we were submerged in it. drowning in that intersection.)

(HARRY is so, so human that it hurts. he's no longer an empty husk of a man, a living ghost with no memories. he's a person, a genuine living being with morbid, disgusting, real feelings. YOU, I, the player made him this way—it's a path to healing of some sort, it certainly is better than any alternative path HARRY had. better than drinking, and taking speed or getting those party eyes.)

DOLORES DEI - "See?" Her eyes widen. "It just takes some time. For you, I think it will take something like... twenty years, maybe? It was hard for me too. I used to think I couldn't live without you..." She looks you straight in the eye -- her irises are light blue, flecked with green.

"But -- I can."

YOU - "Twenty years? That's so much time..."

(so what if it does take HARRY twenty whole years to heal and move on? so what? as long as there's a sliver of hope...it's the only way we can keep moving forward, it's what we deserve.)

SHIVERS - I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT. I LOVE YOU.

(even if it hurts cleaning out the rooms, even if the recollection of the past about TEQUILA SUNSET and EX-SOMETHING are painful...little by little, HARRY will recover pieces of himself back together, slowly. one day, he will look on the bay of MARTINAISE, he will study his reflection on the water and be reminded of his efforts, his hardships, the pain, love, and the support—even if it didn't seem like he had any, he will learn that it was worth it. on that day, he'll no longer think about how suffocatingly beautiful and young she is, nor the smell of tutti frutti apricot chewing gum, and the first time she left, when she begged him for forgiveness.)

DOLORES DEI - "You will get over it, just like I did. People do. Things will get good for you again..."

(but hey, i'm just a nostalgic 16yo teen talking crazy about their current hyperfixation on this unbelievably long silly book made in a videogame form. in today's session, i had literally played 22 total hours of DISCO ELYSIUM, while going through a manic episode. what do i know? well, what i know is that i can keep myself on this earth, i can do it for my friends, if not, then for me. just like with HARRY, for REVACHOL.)

VOLITION - You can do it. It's nothing. Do it for the city. Go.

[bookwyrminspiration]

im going to finish this book today if it kills me--another thing I forgot to include in the first part. the level of violence committed by the MC and her associates, I feel, is brushed over entirely too quickly.

4 days ago she saw a dead body for the first time--and i think it was a very visceral and moving scene, seeing bodies dragged behind carts for disobedience on casual display. it really introduces the abuse of power these Pilgrims perpetuate in the name of the throne. but there is but one comment--ONE--about Heloise's reservations about killing another person in the first book (like 2 days ago!!), and now she's breaking spines and crushing heads willy nilly. her village has taken up arms, they meet travelers who practice knife work and can kill--they are resisting with violence. which is the only option left to them, but we are missing the emotional toll and exploration of this company of people forced to kill! the fight scenes are pure action and gory description, but that's it! and there is something to be said for going numb, the haze of trauma and violence, but we don't get that either! we don't get anything!

and to expand on an earlier point--Heloise is making these strategic decisions and weighing in as if she has any experience! and I know part of the point is that she's just a 16 year old girl who's been thrust into this position of faux sainthood. but her narration only marginally brushes how incompetent she is for this role--and the people critiquing her are made out to be unreasonable and causing problems. she talks about how she's a woman grown now, and contributes significantly to battle plans--as if 5 days ago she wasn't an apprentice to a father who's job was writing letters. she's ordering people around, planning village take-overs, consulting people, giving inspirational speeches, but while the trauma of the past week has undoubtedly altered her irrevocably and beyond recognition to her former self, none of that gives her the experience she needs. lucking into one kill does not translate into leadership, I'm sorry!

and ANOTHER thing! what the fuck is up with the Order! there is a seemingly infinite supply of them with different subtypes, which are only mentioned when they literally show up! we don't learn of the black and greys until they jump from the trees, nor the uhlans until they're outside the wall! these are the main antagonist that they have spent every minute of these two books at odds with! and we're just throwing in factions when we need? and for a main antagonist, they are cartoonishly evil with zero depth. two of the hundreds, if not thousands, have a name, and the one and only thing we see them do is show up, fight, abuse, and kill people. where did they come from, how did they get like this, what motivation do they have--don't know! they're simply Wrong About Things and so need to be fought. And I won't deny that they do commit horrible atrocities in the name of "protection" and faith, they are wrong about a lot--but beyond that? Zero exploration!

Maybe I'm being nitpicky, maybe I'm missing things. Maybe in the last 80 pages (of 250) will start to draw it together, and the final book will really send it home. Each one of these things individually is forgivable, I think. But in combination it starts to grate. Which sucks! Because I really want to like this, I find the premise of trying to overthrow a religious tyranny told through the perspective of a 16yo who, by luck, killed a devil and has been turned into this holy, superhuman idol by the people she once called neighbors, who knew her as a babe, to be incredibly compelling! That sounds sick as hell! I just need a little more, please!!

i am STRUGGLING to get through book 2 rn. with how critical the throne/its religion is to the entire plot, we really don't know anything about it besides "there is an emperor and a throne and we credit them with keeping us safe from devils." the internal fights amongst the villagers are getting repetitive ("this is madness" "Blasphemy!!" "wait no don't beat that guy up" "this is madness"). i don't understand the world (WHERE did the black-and-grays come from??? order this, order that--there's a whole faction you haven't mentioned???) or half the character motivations and decisions (though to their credit, they're having like the worst 4 days of their lives rn). and i'm really struggling to suspension of disbelief my way through Heloise's fights and ability to make strategic decisions. she should be dead ten times over by now, and some characters (Barnard) explain this as her being chosen by the emperor, but he's very clearly depicted as a raving fanatic broken by grief (which is also getting repetitive), so without that there is no justification for her continued living. or for these plans she keeps coming up with

WHAT is happening. it's only like 200 pages but I'm struggling

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Even if Snow Glass Apples had a thing to offer the audience outside torture porn thinly veiled behind a stoic writing style, the twist of the stepmother being betrayed by the vampire and necrophile didn’t even make sense. They executed her for “witchcraft” despite Snow White being a known vampire who was slated for execution by the huntsmen. Several people witnessed her pull her heart off the ceiling and put it back in her chest. Her entire kingdom also already knew she practiced witchcraft and would come to her directly for scryings. If it was prince necrophile who sentenced her instead of Snow White, that almost makes less sense because the stepmother was the queen of her kingdom meaning sentencing her to anything would mean way. A point was made to emphasize that no one seemed to notice or even care that Snow White was executed so why would they listen to her or her fiancé?

As an avid enjoyer of horror and dark fiction when done properly, I have to say that if you want to be edgy for a short story at least have something to say and make it make sense. It’s a short story. It isn’t as though the plot is long enough to lose track of plot points easily. Try writing women for purposes other than sex or tragedy or both. Starting the story by saying a 16yo child was excited to be “claimed” by the king sexually and more or less abducted to become his loving wife is not showing that you have any real respect for women in your story, nor does it show you have any business writing them at all when the only other female character in that story was a girl who raped her father to death when she was 6, “seduced” men in the forest to kill them over the course of several years, and then was raped awake from a comatose state by an adult necrophile at the age 14 whom she then happily married.

Sincerely bewildering that gaiman was ever lauded for this story. It’s just terrible on multiple layers.

[avatar-news]

EXCLUSIVE: Azula is currently being cast for Season 1 of Netflix’s Avatar: The Last Airbender

We have confirmation that everyone’s favorite Fire Nation Princess will appear in the first season of Netflix’s live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, and that casting for the role is currently taking place.

Unlike for the four main roles of Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Zuko, we don’t have details like the character age and ethnicity, nor have public casting calls gone up. It’s possible they still will, and casting for this role is yet to begin, or they’re already taking place completely closed and it was only public (but not open, since the characters/show being auditioned for were kept a secret) for the four main characters.

We can make some guesses though. Princess Azula is the younger sister of Prince Zuko. This makes it almost certain the casting call for her will be the same ethnicity as it was for him, which was East Asian or South Asian, with the role going to 20-year-old Chinese-Indonesian-American actor Dallas Liu. In the original series, Zuko was 16 while Azula was 14. In the new series, Zuko is 17, so aged up by one year, and played by an actor who was 19 at the time of casting. Another point of comparison is that in the original series, Katara and Sokka were 14 and 15 respectively, while in the live-action show they’re 14 and 16. So, it’s possible Azula will be kept the same like Katara, or aged up by ~1 year like Sokka and Zuko. Her actor could be the exact age of the character like Aang and Katara, or slightly older like Sokka and Zuko. I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up being an ~18yo actor playing a ~16yo Azula, since the role is quite complex and demanding, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a 14yo actor playing a 14yo Azula. There’s precedent for both!

Another thing to keep track of is that Azula only had cameos in Book One: Water of the original series. One was in the audience during Zuko’s Agni Kai with Ozai, which took place three years before the series, when she was 11. The other is in the very last scene of the season, where she’s introduced as the new villain when Ozai dispatches her to capture Zuko and Iroh. It’s possible they’re casting early just for small moments like this, but keep in mind it’ll be one to two years before she would be a main character in Season 2 of the live-action series (assuming each season adapts one original season) and so the actor chosen will be older by then. I see this as the most likely outcome, with maybe even a separate, younger actor chosen for the flashback (Same for Zuko? Or maybe even de-aged with makeup and/or CGI?) since they seem to be going for a faithful, “authentic” remake. In that case, it’s cool that they’re putting in the effort to cast Azula now. However, it’s also possible her role will be slightly expanded in this version of the story because they’re casting such a major character now. Again, it feels like there’s precedent for both with what we know so far about the show’s goals and plans. We’ll have to wait and see!

I should also note that this just happens to be the next casting I’ve been told about behind closed doors. It doesn’t guarantee the order of casting, i.e. other characters like Iroh, Zhao, Suki, Yue, etc. could be taking place in any order as well at the moment, I just haven’t heard anything else yet. This is a pretty cool one to hear about though, and definitely gets me hyped! What about you?

Filming starts in November and is set to run through May 2022.

[zelda-ffitzgerald]

I want to clarify something about insiders. Obviously not all of these people who pop-up saying they’re IAs are actually IAs. But some of us are legit. I’m one of them, with my last bit of information being about Michael and Lili. That’s not to say I know anything juicy right now nor do I know them personally. I don’t know any of the cast members personally.

People question why legit insiders would come to a Tumblr blog. Can you think of a better place if you’re trying to remain anonymous? You can drop information anonymous here and know it will be seen and discussed and probably passed along to a bigger platform. You cannot post anonymously on IG and Twitter. You have to create an account. And what account would you give information to anyway? Same with Reddit. More importantly, on IG and Twitter any thoughtful response and discussion will disappear within minutes among trolls and bots. Especially those trying to protect the person in question. This is how Cole Sprouse got away with his bullshit for so long.

It wasn’t until people started dropping information about Cole and other cast members HERE on Tumblr did the ball get rolling on calling his ass to the carpet as well as calling out his family and social circle who are almost as bad as he is. This is what led to other accounts like Maria on IG and the DeuxMoi Facebook person we had exposing his shit on larger platforms.

It wasn’t just one insider. One led to another which led to more people feeling comfortable and confident to drop information here. Then after a while everyone’s stories began to line up with what we were seeing and hearing “out there” in the real word. They began to line up with confirmations we saw with our own eyes.

Remember how Pinot Anon was one of the first? Came in with guns blazing last year and little by little almost everything they were telling us was proven true? Some things they couldn’t possibly just luckily guess.

How about the Enty anons? There are more than one, and some of you know their main source to you. One of these Enty anons is the one who blew open Cole creeping on the 16yo on the Deuxmoi Facebook page, so much so that she was driven off by crazed Colestans but then went back with 100% receipts and shut them all the fuck up. She even stayed in that group for a while to help support Maria’s IG page and Maria got a huge increase in followers after that. This is what freaked out Cole and his “team”. If anyone really believes Cole and Matt and Dylan were not scared of Maria, you’re an idiot.

So to anyone who questions the validity of IAs by asking why we would be here, there you go. Again, not everyone who claims to be an insider is an insider. Crazed, overly invested fans will pretend to be insiders. But some of us are 100%. Even then our information is not always completely accurate. But most of the time we’re within the ballpark when not dead on. 😁

Thank you

[liveactionairbender]

Azula is currently being cast for Season 1 of Netflix’s Avatar: The Last Airbender

We have confirmation that everyone’s favorite Fire Nation Princess will appear in the first season of Netflix’s live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, and that casting for the role is currently taking place.

Unlike for the four main roles of Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Zuko, we don’t have details like the character age and ethnicity, nor have public casting calls gone up. It’s possible they still will, and casting for this role is yet to begin, or they’re already taking place completely closed and it was only public (but not open, since the characters/show being auditioned for were kept a secret) for the four main characters.

We can make some guesses though. Princess Azula is the younger sister of Prince Zuko. This makes it almost certain the casting call for her will be the same ethnicity as it was for him, which was East Asian or South Asian, with the role going to 20-year-old Chinese-Indonesian-American actor Dallas Liu. In the original series, Zuko was 16 while Azula was 14. In the new series, Zuko is 17, so aged up by one year, and played by an actor who was 19 at the time of casting. Another point of comparison is that in the original series, Katara and Sokka were 14 and 15 respectively, while in the live-action show they’re 14 and 16. So, it’s possible Azula will be kept the same like Katara, or aged up by ~1 year like Sokka and Zuko. Her actor could be the exact age of the character like Aang and Katara, or slightly older like Sokka and Zuko. I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up being an ~18yo actor playing a ~16yo Azula, since the role is quite complex and demanding, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a 14yo actor playing a 14yo Azula. There’s precedent for both!

Another thing to keep track of is that Azula only had cameos in Book One: Water of the original series. One was in the audience during Zuko’s Agni Kai with Ozai, which took place three years before the series, when she was 11. The other is in the very last scene of the season, where she’s introduced as the new villain when Ozai dispatches her to capture Zuko and Iroh. It’s possible they’re casting early just for small moments like this, but keep in mind it’ll be one to two years before she would be a main character in Season 2 of the live-action series (assuming each season adapts one original season) and so the actor chosen will be older by then. I see this as the most likely outcome, with maybe even a separate, younger actor chosen for the flashback (Same for Zuko? Or maybe even de-aged with makeup and/or CGI?) since they seem to be going for a faithful, “authentic” remake. In that case, it’s cool that they’re putting in the effort to cast Azula now. However, it’s also possible her role will be slightly expanded in this version of the story because they’re casting such a major character now. Again, it feels like there’s precedent for both with what we know so far about the show’s goals and plans. We’ll have to wait and see!

I should also note that this just happens to be the next casting I’ve been told about behind closed doors. It doesn’t guarantee the order of casting, i.e. other characters like Iroh, Zhao, Suki, Yue, etc. could be taking place in any order as well at the moment, I just haven’t heard anything else yet. This is a pretty cool one to hear about though, and definitely gets me hyped! What about you?

Filming starts in November and is set to run through May 2022.

[itsclydebitches]

So someone compared Ozpin to Charles Xavier from X-men. I know very little about him other than he has telepathy and is based on MLK. But they were using that comparison to make Ozpin look bad, since apparently Xavier hides shit from his allies and manipulates them. Since you read comics, how accurate is that comparison?

I’m gonna preface this by saying I’m by no means an expert on X-Men. I’ve seen the films, read some comic runs, participated in some fandom... the interest is casual. 

That being said, I can definitely see similarities. Largely in regards to how Xavier is a very powerful leader attempting to fix a world-wide problem through primarily peaceful solutions, yet is himself a flawed human being. His quest is epic while he himself is mortal. So yes, a lot of time he makes mistakes---big mistakes---in the name of the greater good. Take Jean for example. She’s incredibly powerful and that power is tied irrevocably to her subconscious, a part of the mind pulling from pure emotion rather than logic. Xavier realizes how dangerous this is, puts mental blocks up to limit her powers, and of course eventually everything goes sideways and we get Phoenix. We can compare a decision like this to Ozpin offering Pyrrha the Fall Maiden powers. Though wildly different situations in many, many ways, both ultimately boil down to creating one sacrifice/shitty situation (Jean has mental blocks/Pyrrha has to deal with this nonsense) with the hope that by doing so you’ll avoid worse outcomes later. The lesser of two evils. Same with their intellect and their knowledge. Xavier is a genius compared to everyone else. Ozpin has at least a thousand years of experience on all his allies. Both have access to dangerous information. Are they right or wrong for trying to use those resources in the most effective way, hoping to generate the best outcome? Are they right or wrong for not prioritizing a person’s individual choice over the fate of the entire world? Is giving a 16yo total agency---like telling them all your secrets and assuming they might know more than you---worth everyone else’s safety? 

I’m all for debating that morality. It’s human and it’s what these stories want us to consider. The big, ethical questions. What shocks me more though is how many people in the RWBY fandom can’t acknowledge that there are no good solutions in these situations, meaning that both Ozpin and Xavier are screwed from the start. Do you let the young girl get consumed by potentially dark power, or do you try to prevent that? Do you let the Maiden powers get consumed by an enemy, or try to prevent that? For me, it’s cruel to look only at the outcome of that choice---outcomes neither can foresee---and demonize them for that. Because what’s the other option here? Not acting at all. Not to be ridiculous and drag another fandom into the mix, but it legit reminds me of this Batman moment: 

Both Ozpin and Xavier are men who act because they know that few others can/will and they have the ability to do so. The burden of that is when things go south, people only care about the outcome, not the intentions. Nor do they consider the horrific implications of not acting. Imagine if Ozpin was faced with Cinder getting the full Maiden powers and just shrugged it off. No, I’m not going to do anything about it because the only thing to do involves screwing over a young girl. People would be furious at his passivity. If Xavier likewise stood by while Jean grapples with unstable power when everyone knows he can potentially help? People would, again, be furious. It comes down to the fact that all options suck. All options are dangerous. All options have downsides. All options are going to piss someone off. But the only other thing to do is nothing---which itself is perhaps the most horrific decision of all. 

I think of it this way: what if things had turned out for the best? What if Jean lived a happy, healthy, safe life with the blocks in place? What if Pyrrha got badass power and went on to save all of Remnant? Everyone would uphold both decisions as the “right” thing to do because they obviously led to preferred outcomes. But you can’t see those outcomes from the start. You can only hope. Xavier and Ozpin are both men who hold onto hope and frequently take their chances on it. Does it often backfire? Yes. Do they frequently make mistakes along the way? Oh yeah. But the will to act is why they both remain heroes in my book. The ability to take a chance and hope for the best outcome when no one else can or will. 

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

i finally watched the video of Greta Thunberg addressing the UN climate summit yesterday afternoon, and had some thoughts. here they are lmao:

Greta Thunberg’s speech is fucking incredible. Greta Thunberg is a force to be reckoned with, and i’m 1000% behind her. she’s fucking incredible. this speech is so impassioned and heart-wrenching that i damn near cried my eyes out. the anger towards climate denial and also its non-addressing is palpable across the world, especially notable in the climate strikes just last fucking week.

i can’t believe that Greta’s just 16 and talking to the fucking UN. 16 year old me was nowhere brave enough to even do half of her English speeches in high school, let alone address a bunch of fucking world leaders at the UN. nor was she smart enough on the topic of climate change. hell, im pretty sure she fucking ignored it completely bc she was all “i’ll never be political because politics is bullshit!!!! so i don’t believe anything!!” if anything, she would’ve probably also made some stupid joke about being incinerated by the sun in the future (#youareultraviolet) or some dumb shit and leave it at just that (like yes i’ll admit i did this about a month ago now, but sometimes it’s just nice to make a joke when you remember you’re gonna die soon. i mean it’s like lol). bc she refused to engage in anything. “denial of everything is fun, so bring on the arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon bc nothing is real!” is also some dumb edgy bs 16yo me would’ve said to deflect talking on climate change or anything really. but current me? no sir. we need to talk about this.

but also. not Greta. Greta’s got the facts and she’s got the fucking nerve to stare down leaders for change. I don’t have that, but I now know that the world is in fucking peril. just look at drought stricken rural Australia. just fucking watch David Attenborough’s "Our Planet" netflix doco series, and witness walruses throwing themselves off land cliffs to enter the water... then dying as they hit the water.... bc there is no longer enough ice for them to stay at water level...... and fucking tell me that there IS NOT a problem with the climate. like y’all i fucking CRIED (😭) each time i watched that sequence during the Our Planet ep, and the movie about the filming of the Our Planet.

fucking tell me that i’m a “snowflake” or a “drone” or an “over-dramatic puppet” and yeah sure. whatever. but call Greta Thunberg any of those things and I will throw fucking hands. she is fucking RIGHTFULLY anxious and LIVID that people the who are in charge of the world are deliberately ignoring strategies to address climate change/global warming; and are instead still worshipping coal as the only power source. that’s even got me fucking pissed.

or how about back here in australia, where we’ve got fucking *sneers and cringes simultaneously* scomo/scummo who deliberately and infamously fucking took a piece of coal to parliament (no one’s forgotten, scott morrison). a man who is a prime minister that acts like an ACTUAL TEENAGER refusing to listen to their parents (or in this case, their neighbours.... and oh please hold the fucking irony pearls here) at the climate conference between australia and the pacific islands/Fiji just LAST MONTH. a so-called leader who told fundamentally told the leaders of Fiji and other countries to basically “fuck off and die anyway bc we love coal and gas and killing the environment!!! how dare YOU take OUR money to fix YOUR countries and the climate???” those leaders then understandably broke down into tears.... all bc our prime minister essentially told them to walk on water or drown; by letting their homes sink into the sea for some sweet black rock from the ground. and this is obvs all while we somehow wouldn’t die in the future bc “coal and gas!!!” which are the reasons for climate change anyway. like hmm thanks for the backwards thinking old scotty boi. to put it in bogan terms: you need an uppercut to the head, aye, ya fucking dumb dog cunt. so many thanks for caring about the youth, scomo! (oh wait, you fucking don't).

ANYWAY. yeah. I’m tired. we are all tired. but not Greta. she’s going for the fucking jugular and i CANNOT praise her enough. also, I for one (and obvs for many younger millennials and gen z people), say that I would very much like to live past my early 30s, because that’s when the world’s gonna fuckin implode it in the predictions.

I want my nephew to have a life. I want all my friends with kids, kids to have a life where they’re not living with a non-stop impending fucking doom of mass extinction over their heads. hell, I kinda don’t want to be hearing that now! thanks! I’m 24 next month. and i'm still fucking kicking and young! and now you tell me that i’m just MEANT to DIE™️ (☠️😵) in 12 years time bc some shitty politicians can’t stop making sweet backroom love deals to oil and coal execs?!?!?! who are still denying that we're going to die soon if we do nothing??? (like 12 years ain't really that long, yall). OH HOW FUCKING LOVELY!!!! like totally #dontwantobeanaussieidiotamiright???? bc that’s all the youths are good at apparently? creating and using hashtags???? and being good little baa baa black sheep??? no. not anymore. they’re out for your blood. and by fucking anything, we fucking deserve it.

go fucking get them Greta! you truly are a leader and a more of an adult than most world leaders are right now.

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Like tbh whenever I think about this for two years being on here. people will be upset over me writing cringe bad grammar problematic fanfics.

It's always interesting to think about, the amount of stress with people online... Like imagine getting upset towards me writing a made up story that never happened irl, I used it as a way of coping but apparently people will say:" it's a bad coping mechanism and you should get a better one. " Because apparently people can't tell the difference between fiction and reality these days.... And they think that I'll commit a crime over me writing cringe problematic fanfics of tomura shigaraki or any anime characters SA reader... Writing the most unhinged things into a story with two characters that aren't real.

Idk what to say about this but please know that I've been writing problematic dead dove content for two years did I ever harm people irl? No, did I encourage others to commit a crime? I'm really hoping not coz if I find out you're doing harmful acts irl and say." Yeah this story actually inspired me to SA people irl. " STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME PLEASE!! I don't condone nor do I think it is okay for people to commit a crime because you're a screwed up person and need medicine help for that.

I write fanfic because it's like a way to escape reality, I get to write a story that is made up and doesn't really affect others... (Well I had people pissing their pants whenever I write dead dove and taboo topics. )

Like I know this was a thing when I written a cringe story about fictional characters when I was teenager, the teacher ask all of us to:" write a story. " They didn't technically say anything bad but I wrote a story where it's a highschool theme, a boy falling in love with the awkward shy chubby girl who moved to his school and this bully called buzz was harassing both of them then the boy named Alex murder buzz. (Yeah my younger self was edgy back then💀💀)

I don't remember how the story went but I was sent to the counseling room in high school at the age of 15-16yo. she asked me if I was okay or if I saw something on the news and I simply said." I made it up. " Or I think that is how it happens but it was years ago 😭😭 like I enjoy writing dark theme content for good awhile and I'll say this honestly and openly that I just write stories because it fun to write, you don't think much and get creative in story with characters that don't exist.

And not to mention, I don't think much, I just get creative and type it in my mind because I know damn sure that it's fictional content and no one is getting hurt.

So I'm not actually surprised whenever people get triggered easily by fanfic, I get it, it's not your cup of tea whenever it's fictional content but at the end of the day people shouldn't be taking it seriously all because I write stories in dark theme content.

Then the book of it, you know the pennywise clown where this man wrote horror theme books for years. It's like the saying." If you enjoy or are a fan of horror that means you gotta be a criminal." " Video games like GTA will make kids go violent. " " If you enjoy true crime that means you want to be a murderer. " Etc etc!! Now people will say." If you're artist/writer that does dead dove content THAT mean you gotta support it irl. " It's so exhausting with people online.

Like I generally feel like people need to get off their phone and thinks WITH THEIR BRAINS WHEN TYPING.

[madamslayyy]

Random M’Baku HC’s:

A/N: This was the originally my first draft for my work “M’Baku Titty Fetish HC’s” but I started writing and it got waaaaaaay off topic and became trash but a couple people asked to see it way back when so and it’ll probably be deleted tomorrow anyway so why not.

Warnings: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY SCRAPED! It’s trash, convoluted, unedited, has major plot holes, and a shit ton of ocs for no reason. If you don’t like it I’m so sorry but i warned you. This is not the quality of work I would ever put out.

Taglists: @muse-of-mbaku @chaneajoyyy @wakanda4neva are theonly ones i’m tagging because the responded to my post (so sorry this is late, i know i said i’d drop it the other day)

-M’Baku has always been and always will be a faithful and dedicated TittyBoi™️.

- It’s true that the women of the Jabari tribe are naturally well endowed in most areas but it’s the swell of the bosom that has always drew M’Baku’s eye.

- Growing up with M’Baku as your best friend, he never saw you as a girl or a boy, just his best friend.

- Until you guys reached your teenage years. And M’Baku became a dog.

- By the age of 16, he had grown to a considerable 6’1, and was starting to fill out nicely, looking much older than his intended age, while at 16 you still had none of the curves you wanted and all the baby fat you didn’t. Your chest was still as flat as a board and if not for your longer hair and eyelashes, you could easily have been mistaken for a boy. Or at least you thought so.

- Needless to say, you looked like most average 16yo girls but you were still far from the realm of anything M’Baku considered desirable.

- He would chase any pair of globes in sight, going above and beyond for any girl with an ample chest.

- You tried to pretend you weren’t jealous. You were.

- You tried to pretend it didn’t make you insecure about your own flat chest. It did.

- The final nail in the coffin was when you were sitting in Weapons and Refinery 103 and M’Baku strolled in with even more swagger than usual (if that was even possible). He immediately went into detail to his boys about his ‘glorious’ night rutting with Anika, a curvy upperclassman that was any 16yo boy’s wet dream come to life.

- You’d heard M’Baku brag before and had mastered the art of tuning out his scandalous recollections when suddenly one of his friends, Riki, called out “What about your girlfriend over there?”

- Growing up, because you and M’Baku were so close people often thought you two were an item. You’d both shrug it off or simply tell them no. But this time was different because M’Baku was put on the spot.

- And M’Baku tended to go into defense mode when he was put on the spot.

- He let out a barking laugh with the other boys following suit. “Please! You think I’d go for her!?” He laughed and you felt utterly humiliated.

- “As if you could ever get me!!” You yelled back, causing the laughter to stop abruptly. You felt your cheeks heat up with even more embarrassment and you quickly stormed out the room.

- That was the last time you spoke to M’Baku.

- A year later, it was time for you to graduate from the Academy. You were chosen to give a speech at the ceremony. At first you didn’t quite understand why, you weren’t at the top of your class by marks nor were you even an extraordinary student in any particular area but upon asking your teacher why she’d selected you, she replied with “You have a lovely voice.”

- So that was that and you prepared yourself to read your specific lines of the same speech they gave every year at the ceremony. You didn’t know who would be reading the other half of the speech until the day of graduation came and you found none other than M’Baku waiting at the entrance hall to escort you in.

- Of course they’d choose him to be the other student speaker, he was the Cheiftain’s son.

- The two of you walked arm in arm together without saying a word. You gave your lines, he gave his. You sat down by his side, not really paying attention to the rest of the ceremony, your mind currently occupied by the enormous figure crowding you to your right. Had he always been this big?

- Even though in the year since you’d last spoke to him, you’d changed considerably, you found yourself feeling like the same inadequate girl as before when sitting next to him.

- “It’s a nice ceremony, eh?” M’Baku grumbled lowly next to you. You tried to pretend you hadn’t heard him.

- “Oh come now, you’re really not going to talk to me?” He chided again. You made a show of rolling your eyes and looking forward.

- “Stubborn as always,” he grinned. “I miss my best friend.”

- “Then you shouldn’t dog her out in front of your boys.” You huffed.

- “That’s why you haven’t spoken to me in so long? And here I thought I’d done something wrong.” M’Baku mused.

- “You did!” You said a little louder than intended. Not enough to interrupt the ceremony but enough to make M’Baku grab your thigh in caution. You jerked your leg out of his grasp.

- “Foolish musings of an incompetent child. Plus, I said that mostly for Riki’s benefit. The poor guys been after you since we were in Rudimentary, like that would ever happen.” M’Baku said with a cocky eye roll.

- “He what?” You’d never thought of him that way, or any way honestly. Your list of schoolyard crushes began and ended with M’Baku. After that devastating rejection, you hadn’t put your hopes into anyone really wanting you. Not even after your small ‘glo-up’.

- “He’s always had a thing for you. So have most of my friends, as if any of them even stood a chance. Believe it or not, you’re not ugly.” He said as if it was supposed to be some sort of compliment.

- “Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, tuning into the ceremony.

- The ceremony soon commenced and you found your way to your family, trying your hardest to push M’Baku and his pigheadedness to the back of your mind.

- However it was evident in the weeks that followed that M’Baku was not ready to be ignored.

- He was always around, finding ways to miraculously ‘bump’ into you. He was trying to establish himself as your best friend again and you weren’t having it. He couldn’t just saunter back into your life as if nothing ever happened.

- You were well on your way to give him an earful when you came across Rikki first.

- After much beating around the bush on his part, and you throwing out a exasperated “Look I really don’t have time for this right now.” Rikki finally asked you out.

- The “No” was on the tip of your tongue before you actually stopped to appraise Rikki. You had never really noticed Rikki outside of being one of M’Baku’s friends after you two got older and grew apart. He wasn’t the worst looking guy, but he was almost painfully plain. Not actually muscular, but not quite skinny either, no facial hair to speak of (quite uncommon for Jabari men), and taller than you but still no where near M’Bakus massive height.

- But he was the first boy to ever ask you out. Boys in the village never showed any interest in you period, a fact that you tried to not let eat at you but it did. You knew that you were far from the ugliest girl in town but Jabari boys would often break their necks over girls that majority would deem unattractive yet ignore you completely. So even though you didn’t see it, or understand, there was something about you guys found ugly or repulsive.

- But not Rikki. According to M’Baku, he’d always seen your beauty. So you hesitantly agreed to the date seeing no true harm in it.

- That date, however, never happened.

- Rikki came to you the next day apologizing that he’d suddenly lost interest and wanted to cancel the date. That hurt.

- So you decided to let it go and focus on yourself. You didn’t need a man to be happy, you were happy on your own.

- However an entire year went by. And you were still as lonely as before. You saw literally everyone around you together, in love, in relationships meanwhile a man would never look your way.

- Your self esteem really took the largest blow and you couldn’t deny you never felt more unlovable.

- So once you could pull yourself out of your own self pity, you decided to get proactive about your dating life. That included dressing more flirty and putting more effort into your appearance. Of course no one noticed but it gave you the confidence you needed.

- Then you moved on to commence phase two of your plan. Actually shooting your shot. You didn’t particularly have your eye on anyone but you figured you’d just go for a reasonably attractive guy just to get into the swing of this whole dating thing.

- So you finally got up the courage and asked out K’nu. He was single, handsome, tall, the standard Jabari man. And he said yes! You were so excited you could barely contain yourself, making sure to triple check your appearance before heading to the restaurant that following Saturday. You waited there fore 3 hours before it sunk in that you’d been stood up.

- Again it was disheartening but you wouldn’t give up just because he was a jerk. So you asked out Bhenalla. His response was a bit.... different.

- “Is this a joke? Are you trying to set me up?” He asked his eyes narrowed.

-“A joke? I’m not sure I-“

-“Look, I like having all of my bones intact and my face not broken so no I’ll pass.” He rolled his eyes and walked away. You didn’t understand what he was talking about but you couldn’t deny it hurt to be shut down like that.

- So needless to say you found yourself in a bar later that night, alone sipping on yet another drink. You’d had enough two drinks ago but that didn’t stop you from downing another.

-The tears were slowly leaking from your eyes and you’d quickly swipe them away. Your face was almost completely red and you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or crying.

- “She’s had enough bartender,” A deep, graveling voice said beside you. You knew that voice anywhere. Everyone did.

- You looked to you right to see none other that Morkurra. He was a year ahead you and M’Baku but he often looked much older. It probably has something to do with the fact that he was so scary looking. He had a huge scar that ran down his left eye and eyebrow onto his cheek. The scarred eye, though it retained vision, was a light sky grey while the other was a normal brown. In addition to his full beard he also had long hair which he mostly kept back in a long ponytail so it wouldn’t get in his way. He was littered with smaller scars throughout his body and he was massive, carnal looking even. The fact that he had his canines sharpened to enhance his battle performance didn’t help.

- He was also a shoe in for the position of Commander for the Jabari Army, as soon as the current Commander stepped down which everyone was betting would be any day now.

- “Tell me little one, what’s got you balling your eyes out in a place like this?” He asked, gently taking your half full glass from you.

- “N-Nothing,” you hiccupped, causing your face to flush even more.

- “Surely it’s something if you’re this intoxicated and still upset.” He said handing you one of the napkins from the bar. You weren’t sure if it was all the alcohol in your system or his unexpected kindness but you burst into tears once again.

- “I was born hideous! Hanuman has cursed me with such a repulsive appearance that no man in the village will go near me!” You cried. There was a long pause before Morkurra burst into laughter.

- “Surely not even you can believe that tale. Is that truly what is causing you such sorrow?” He laughed even though you’d yet to find anything humorous.

- “If you knew the true loneliness I face, you wouldn’t find it so funny.” You grumbled, trying feverently to wipe your tears away.

- “Look at me. Don’t I look like a man that knows true loneliness? Almost everyone in town is afraid of me, and rightfully so given how I look. You, on the other hand, do not have that problem,” he said, bringing your drink to his full lips and finishing it.

- “You’re gorgeous and I’m not just saying that because you’re crying. Any man in the village would be honored to have you and probably would jump at the chance if not for that temperamental brat that’s due to be our next chief.” You were having a hard time concentrating on everything he was saying in your drunken state but it sounded like he was alluding to M’Baku.

“Our next Chief? You mean M’Baku? What’s he got to do with anything?” You asked causing Morkurra to let out his bark of a laugh once more.

“You really don’t know? The boys smitten with you. Let’s everyone know that you’re his girl and he dares anyone to challenge him.” Morkurra finished and this time it was your turn to laugh.

“Ridiculous, M’Baku is a friend, nothing more. He’s made that quite clear. Also he chases anything with breasts, at this point I’m not sure he’s even capable of loving one girl with all the numerous affairs he carries on.” You scowled.

“Well I’m not sure he sees it that way.” Morkurra downed the last of his drink then stood up. “Are you ready for me to take you home little one?”

“I -hiccup- don’t need supervision,” you said but you could already feel your head swimming.

“I don’t doubt that but I still can’t let you leave here alone. Allow me to at least see you to your door in one piece,” Morkurra offered his hand. He truly was scary looking but you sensed a sort of gentle demeanor about him. You figured it couldn’t be all that bad and allowed him to walk you home, even though it was mostly him carrying you along while you stumbled about.

- “So what time should I pick you up tomorrow?” Morkurra asked once you’d made it to your front door.

- “Pick me up tomorrow?”

- “For Lunch. You said you couldn’t get any man in the village to go near you but I’m not just any man. And I’m certainly not afraid of vague threats made by the likes of M’Baku.” Morkurra declared and you suddenly felt you face flush, though this time not from the alcohol.

- “I don’t know.... Lunch... time?” You offered, causing a smirk to grace his stoic features.

- “Lunch time it is. I look forward to seeing you in your sobriety, Little One.” He gave a small bow of his head and was off.

- The next day, you almost couldn’t believe your eyes when you found Morkurra at your door. You also couldn’t believe he’d still offered to take you on a date. A date that went surprisingly well. He was unbelievable gentle despite his appearance and you couldn’t deny you were quite taken with his soft personality.

- Which is what prompted you to accept his offer of a second date. And a third. And before you knew it, you found yourself slowly falling for the beast of a man. It wasn’t long before he was crowned Commanderq of the Jabari army, being crowned by none other than the Chief of the Jabari himself, M’Bakus father. You stood off to the side as you watched Chief M’Boka pin Morkurra’s gigantic frame. Once ceremony hit its conclusion Morkurra roared and the rest of the Jabari cheered for him. It was in that moment he saw fit to grab you from your post on the side and draw you in for a searing kiss.

- It was far from the first time you’d kissed Morkurra, however it was the first time you’d kissed him in front of nearly the entire Jabari tribe. M’Baku, who was still standing near his father looked incensed. Before anyone could stop him, he lunged for Morkurra. The only thing that allowed M’Baku even the slightest advantage was the fact that Morkurra was still holding you and he refused to let anything hurt you.

- However by the time M’Baku has pulled his fist back for a second punch, Morkurra had already pushed you aside and was able to land a hit of his own. With one swift punch to the face, M’Baku was out cold and the crowd looked nervous.

- Even though M’Baku was wrong, he was still the Cheiftans son and as hardheaded as they come. This wouldn’t be the last time him Morkurra fought, M’Baku would never settle for a defeat. He would keep coming after Morkurra until one of them lie dead.

- You knew you had no right to seek him out but that’s exactly what you did when you heard they were taking him to the Jabari medical center. You waited there for hours until he finally woke up.

- “Y/N? W-What are you doing here?” M’Baku croaked hoarsely after a few moments of silence. You weren’t sure how to phrase what you were about to say so you decided to just blurt it out.

- “Don’t make Morkurra kill you,” the confused look on M’Baku’s face prompted you to continue, “ look I know you have problems accepting defeat and are gonna keep coming after him until you win but we both know that won’t happen and my baby’s not a killer by choi-

- “YOUR WHAT?!” MBaku boomed. “You mean to tell me out of everyone in the village, you chose to allow THAT creature to steal your heart!?!”

- “HE was the only man in the village who interested!”

- “Except the one sitting right before you!” There was a elongated silence between you two, the air thick with the anger seeping from the two of you.

- “You really expect me to believe that crock of bullshit? Do you not remember when you and your friends laughed in my face at even the mere concept of you being with me? Because I sure do! You have the gall to say this to me now after you and everyone else ignored me for years!?”

- “And why do you think that is?! I wouldn’t let any man in the village go near you because you’re mine! Always have been!!” M’Baku stood now, his height allowing him to tower over you. This made no difference to you however. You didn’t care how large or intimidating he thought he was, you knew he’d never lay a finger on you.

- “Well congratulations M’Baku, you missed your chance!” You hissed through gritted teeth.

- “We’ll see about that,” M’Baku growler before pushing past you out the door of the medical wing.

•——•

also i’m gonna get together a Morkurra mini vision post for this because i was thinking of him being more attractive than not when writing this even if he was a little scary looking

[cowgalfemme]

I absolutely hear what you’re saying, and while I want to validate the feelings of frustration and alienation you’re expressing here, I don’t think it would really be appropriate for me as a cis lesbian to give advice on how to navigate being a lesbian as a trans woman. I really can’t speak on that with any authority, nor should I imo because that would be stepping out of my lane.

This post blew up kind of unexpectedly and was written well over a year ago, if not longer- it was really just me putting together thoughts I had about my own identity that I felt might be helpful to others with similar experiences, so with that being said, I didn’t really seek to write a comprehensive masterpost or resource on anything.

However, if you’re seeking resources and support in navigating being a lesbian and a trans woman, maybe check out some of the writing Kate Bornstein has done? Kate is a non-binary transfeminine person who loves women and she writes about sexuality, gender, and mental health. I worked through her gender workbook as a teen when I felt like I was nonbinary, and I thought it was helpful at the time (though I don’t have it anymore and haven’t read it recently, so that’s trusting 16yo me’s endorsement). I also found her autobiography, A Queer and Pleasant Danger, really interesting.

People don’t tell you when you’re young that it’s not always easy to tell that you’re a lesbian.

For one thing, they always make it seem like lack of attraction will feel like obvious repulsion instead of apathy or discomfort. If the thought of dating or sleeping with men doesn’t make you queasy, then you can’t be a lesbian! You’re at least bi.

For another, womanhood is constant discomfort. When you’re dating a boy, are you uncomfortable because your clothes are uncomfortable? The makeup you’re wearing? Your constant negative feelings about your body? All 3? The way any of these things make him look at you? The pressure to have sex (regardless of it being with a man)? The pressure to not have sex (regardless of it being with a man)? The distinct feeling you’re not really being seen or listened to? Or are you uncomfortable because it’s a boy you’re dating? Or (likely) some combination of these? Will you even /recognize/ the discomfort when you’ve lived in it so long and when there’s the counter-feeling of being perceived as normal and socially acceptable which sometimes masks it?

Trying to pick apart what’s causing these feelings is so hard. Is it a real crush or did you just pick a boy to feel normal? Do you want /him/ to kiss you or just to have your first kiss?

Often the thing that frees us is loving women and recognizing how different it feels. But even that gets complicated! Internalized homophobia can make you feel shitty too.

So, if you’re a lesbian who used to date or sleep with men, you’re so normal. There’s such an intense pressure to be with men that it’s amazing any of us ever figured it out.

If you’re a trans lesbian congratulations! Reckoning with gender and figuring out if you’re a lesbian is doubly hard and something us cis lesbians will never fully comprehend.

If you’re questioning whether you might be a lesbian, listen to yourself and your body. See if you can distinguish between feeling good and feeling approved of; between the causes of discomfort. And, if you’re really lost but know in your heart of hearts you just wish you were a lesbian, you probably are. Embrace it. We love you just as you are.

[yajiae]

hana, dul, set. hiii if you don’t know me from hongdae then i’m aina and don’t believe anything aleeza and freya say!!  nothing’s really changing with jiae from how she was before i guess, she’s kinda less tragic?  but anyway, this is my first child moon jiae, 20 year old, tattoo artist & lives in apt 206. here’s her stats if you want to check that out & plots page!!  under the cut goes a bit about her, like this if you’d like to plot and i’ll be in your ims in no time.

trigger warnings:  underage drinking, biphobia/homophobia, a bit of verbal abuse??

sO jiae comes from gwangju and if u dont know thats a p big city in south korea i think??  (according to wikipedia idk)

but she’s from a small neighborhood so everyone knew everyone yknow

so baby jiae was a cute kid, had friends, had a pretty nice life ay

come high school and she was uhh not that good of a student?? like she was in the lowest tier of her high school cause her grades weren’t that great and she preferred to draw 

drawing was pretty much what she liked to do and had a notebook with all kinds of drawings

ok so her parents weren’t happy with her grades so they yelled at her and told her she was a waste of space if she didnt graduate with a decent gpa to go to college??? ://

did she listen? lmao no

flash forward at 16yo jiae hung out with friends going to clubs in gwangju & underage drinking & stuff yknow what kids do 

her grades were still a mess & her parents said p nasty things yikes

and THEN! 

jiae was caught kissing one of her female friends with the excuse of experimenting jsjs even tho she knew she liked girls too  (hi plot!!!!!)

so her entire high school found out?? 

and being from a small neighborhood wasnt great cause everyone knew everyone and someone told her parents damnnnn

and they didnt approve lmao rip

u can guess most of their reaction lol it wasnt pretty and jiae was v hurt about it ://

it didnt help that she pulled a prank gone wrong on the school breaking into the teacher’s lounge to make a fire and burn some documents 

she wasnt supposed to be caught but luck wasnt on her side cause she was betrayed  by a friend  (hi plot!!!!!!)

she managed to not get involved with the law omg cause her stunt wasnt easy nor cheap lmao jiae rip

so she was expelled and that was it

girlie then ran away from home cause she couldnt take her parents being mad at her, not accepting her, telling her she was useless etc

so she ended up stumbling into jinhae 

and!! stayed until she turned 18 working part time jobs and all 

currently she’s a tattoo artist cause she’s always liked drawing so her sketches are pretty bomb and she’s good at inkling 

has a few tattoos herself and rly likes it so if ur muse wants one she’s ur gal

she might even get u one cheaper if she likes u!!

i think thats all?? ive been coming up with it as i went lol

pls like this lets plot ily

[diz-n-nate-4-life]

Someone grab the rotisserie.

Hey y’all. For once y’all got a Dizzy roast on your screen. Nate’s right. It has been a while. We’re lookin at approximately 2.5/3 years since either one of us last roasted someone. Last y’all heard from either one of us, Nate was roasting his stepdad, and I was with some kid for a lil over a year that Nate and I both roasted named Brad. With that being said, Brad and I are coming up on our 4-year Mark in a week. Believe it or not, he has come a long way, but that’s not why I’m here.

Today, on this bright beautiful white and brown Tuesday morning, I am gonna blow up about none other than my boyfriends parents, a Miss Kelly Lynn Apgar-Yerance and a Mr. John Vincent Yerance Jr.

Now y’all may be asking “Dizzy why roast them? Everyone has problems with their partner’s parents”. Yes, my friends, that is true, but this is a whole new level of problems. Ya see, in the 6 1/2 years that Brad and I have known each other, they have done nothing but give me hell. They didn’t want him around me. They didn’t want him with me. They didn’t want him to talk to me. They didn’t want him to have anything to do with me. Flash forward 5.5 years, they finally agree to all this. And I have been keeping my mouth shut for at least that long. Now I am finally done biting my tongue.

His mother is a drug addict, has a love for anything that comes in a capsule or tablet. This bitch has several charges against her in the last 6.5 years, and currently has an active case against her. For possession of controlled substances, DUIs sand shit like that. She cares more about her damn pills than she does about her son’s happiness. He wants an hour with his girlfriend, but can’t because his mother is on a pill run. Mind you, when she’s not home, he’s stuck taking care of his 16yo and 13yo sisters. And has to pick them both up everyday from school when they only live 4 blocks from the damn school. When she’s on a pill run, he can’t leave nor can he have anyone over, which means he can’t spend time with me. Or do anything else he wants to do cuz pills are more important to her. Let the record show I also haven’t seen him since fucking November, and he was only allowed to be with me cuz it was my birthday. Go figure. Since then, this dumb fucking bitch has actually asked why he hasn’t gone to see me. He has a job, I have a job, and YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE FUCKING CAR SO HE HAS TO PLAY NANNY TO YOUR FUCKING KIDS!!!! NO WONDER THEY ALL HATE YOU!!! I have had it up to the jolly green giant’s head with this slunt. She’s ruining my relationship with her son. We already have little time together cu of our work schedule, and she’s really straining it by not making the time we do get with each other possible cuz she wants to go hunt down drugs.

Now let’s move onto his father. This guy is one royal douche. Yells at him for just about anything and everything under the damn sun. Don’t ask me to list it in either alphabetical or chronological order cuz we’ll be here another 19 years. He yells at Brad for having a girlfriend, having a job, being with his girlfriend when he’s supposed to be watching his sisters after his mother said she would, but took off to parts unknown in that time, the list goes on and on. He is also putting a strain on our relationship. Why you ask? Because he wants his son to work 25/8 like he does and MOVE THE FUCK OUT. Umm, kinda hard when you jack all his money to fix your wife’s mistakes, dude. He already works his ass off. He’s trying, and obviously that’s not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough for John. To top it off, he yells at me too. I’m not even his kid! He’s damn lucky I don’t blow up on him. If I did, I’d probably end up with another domestic disturbance charge.

Y’all are both 40-something years old. Grow the fuck up. If y’all are gonna be like this, you shouldn’t have stuck around, and you should’ve kept your legs closed.

Well, that’s enough ranting and roasting for me for today. I gotta get to school, but you’ll probably hear from one or both of us later this week. Knowing Nate, that probably means later tonight, possibly tomorrow. Dizzy signing off. Have a great day.