bdsmdynamics

[bdsmdynamics]

BDSM Questions Tag

So, I thought I’d start with a post that allowed you to get to know me a bit more! These questions were chosen as the top 10 from a long list (approximately 80!) created by Phoen and me. If you chose to answer these questions yourself on either a blog or video I’d love to check it out!

Questions:

1. Are you a dom or a sub? I am a full fledged submissive! Tried my hand at domming once and it was the least comfortable I’ve ever felt, sub life forever! 2. How long have you known that you were kinky? Approximately 5-6 years! 3. How did you get into BDSM? I discovered BDSM through reading, specifically a book called ‘My Nerdy Valentine’. Probably not the most appropriate book for a preteen to be reading. But it did help me discover that I was very much into a less vanilla life! 4. How has BDSM changed your life? I feel like it’s given me more confidence, both sexually and just in my general life. And without the kink community I wouldn’t have met several of my current close friends who have helped me in their own ways! 5. Have you ever been to a BDSM event (like a munch or a dungeon)? Nope! Partially because a lot of dungeons and events like it are 21 up, but also because I don’t know anyone in the community in my area and have yet to work up the courage to go to a munch or such alone. 6. Has anyone ever guessed that you were kinky before they knew you? One time at a grocery store a woman called out to me from a few few away, walked up, gently touched my collar and said “that’s cool” with this smirk, and then walked away. 7. Have you ever ‘come out’ about being kinky to friends or family? One time I was having a conversation with my older sister and accidentally mentioned my fetlife account, but she didn’t seem phased by it at all and just kept the conversation going. 8. What do you wish the public knew about BDSM? That it’s completely consensual and there is nothing inherently wrong with someone for being into or enjoying such activities. And personally BDSM doesn’t always equal sex. It is trust, and respect and openness and understanding and does not need to include sex for it to be BDSM. 9. What common mistakes have you seen BDSM beginners make? Acting as one dynamics rules apply to all. Or thinking that just because someone is a sub, that they have to please any Dom who wants them to. Or rushing into everything, trying to understand and know everything there is to know immediately, just to name a few! 10. What advice would you give to someone who is new to BDSM? Be patient, don’t be afraid to seek out advice and mentor-ship from those willing to give it. There is no ‘right’ way to be kinky! And you will never stop learning more in the BDSM community, there is so much to take in and learn.

[bdsmdynamics]

Send Nudes Safely: 3 Apps that Protect Your Privacy

Since the Facebook scandal, social media privacy has become a hot issue. Some in the BDSM community worry about the privacy and security of their sexual pics. Are your photos safe from hackers, data collectors, and prying eyes? If not, here are 3 secure messaging apps you can use to send nudes:

1. Signal

Pros: The most secure messaging app. Signal encrypts your messages so hackers can’t read them. It also lets you disable screenshots. 

Cons: It’s much less popular than Kik, Snapchat, or WhatApp. You may have to do a little convincing to get partners to download it.

2. Telegram

Pros: Like Signal, Telegram can encrypt your messages. It can also disable screenshots.

Cons: You have to choose to encrypt your messages and disable screenshots every time you start a new chat. Telegram’s security is weaker than Signal and Snapchat’s. It also suffers a security flaw: With a little work, anyone can find out who and when you’re texting. It’s also less popular than big apps like WhatsApp.

3. WhatsApp

Pros: When WhatsApp does encrypt messages, they are very secure.  It’s also used by tons of people, so partners may already have it.

Cons: WhatsApp only encrypts messages when everyone in chat has the newest version. Also, it backs up your chats and pics to Google Drive or iCloud by default. If you don’t disable backups, hackers could find your nudes if they get access to your Google or Apple accounts. You also can’t disable screenshots. Lastly, WhatsApp collects a lot of data on the way you use it. Many fear that its parent company (Facebook) will one day sell the data to prying advertisers.

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | Here’s Why Kinksters are Protesting Fetlife

Fetlife will be a little quieter next week. Over 1,000 kinksters have signed up for #SlutStrike, a week-long deactivation event. Between April 30th and May 4th, participating users will deactivate to protest Fetlife’s ongoing “creep problem”.

Despite being the largest kinky social network, Fetlife has the worst reputation. Users are stalked, harassed, and threatened on a daily basis. It’s been an issue for over ten years, yet the company has never found a fix.

Many strikers hope that “going dark” will cause the company to lose money through ad revenue. They want to scare the site into implementing better moderation tools, like user screening and advanced blocking. Some users plan to temporarily cancel their premium subscriptions. 

So far, #SlutStrike seems to be working. Founder John Baku has recently claimed that Fetlife will update its policies and retrain its support team. The new project will be finished by May 18th.

Will you be participating in #SlutStrike?

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | 3 Tips for Participating in the Fetlife Protest

Over 1,000 Fetlife users plan to temporarily deactivate their Fetlife profiles between April 30th and May 4th. The protest, #SlutStrike, advocates for policies and features that reduce online sexual harassment. You can read more about the strike in our previous post here.

Here’s how you can take part in #SlutStrike:

1. Comment in this Fetlife announcement thread. Tell the team what community health features you’d like to see added. These could be advanced blocking options, the ability to screen users before you add them, stricter reporting, etc. 

2. Register for the deactivation event.

3. Deactivate your account for 3-5 days between April 30th and May 4th.

[bdsmdynamics]

50 Myths About Submissives

They all have low self confidence

They are all female

They are submissive at their jobs

They are all masochists

They are all emotionally troubled and want a dom to “rescue” them

They never have any control over scenes

They are all victims of abuse

They all wear costumes during scenes

They all want to play with people besides their dom

They all look “alternative”

They are all mentally ill

They can’t be submissive sometimes and dominant other times

They were all abused growing up

They can’t be feminists

They are all white

They all believe men are superior to women

They can’t have serious relationships

They are very hard to find

None of them are monogamous

They all have bad relationships with their parents

They are all into bondage

None of them enjoy vanilla sex

They are all depressed and use BDSM to cope

They are all obsessed with BDSM culture and their relationships

They are all dependent

“Real” subs always use contracts

They all want to be live-in sex slaves

They don’t have a right to disagree with their doms

All female submissives are bisexual

Slaves are the only kind of “real” sub

They can’t give consent and still be submissive

They are all brainwashed

They all want to move in with someone so they’ll be taken care of

They lose their human rights once they decide to submit to someone

They all crave attention, and don’t care who gives it to them

They are all obsessed with sex

They are all thin

They are all selfish

They can be “claimed” by a dom without consenting to it

They all want to be collared

All male subs are gay, they might just not know it yet

Once they have a dom, their preferences don’t matter

They are all clingy 

They were all bullied in school

They all hate themselves and use BDSM as a form of self harm

They are all emotionally sensitive

They aren’t “really” submissive if they only submit during sex

They are all introverted

They all love being spanked

“Real” subs don’t have limits and let their doms decide what they can’t handle 

[bdsmdynamics]

50 Myths About Submissives

They all have low self confidence

They are all female

They are submissive at their jobs

They are all masochists

They are all emotionally troubled and want a dom to “rescue” them

They never have any control over scenes

They are all victims of abuse

They all wear costumes during scenes

They all want to play with people besides their dom

They all look “alternative”

They are all mentally ill

They can’t be submissive sometimes and dominant other times

They were all abused growing up

They can’t be feminists

They are all white

They all believe men are superior to women

They can’t have serious relationships

They are very hard to find

None of them are monogamous

They all have bad relationships with their parents

They are all into bondage

None of them enjoy vanilla sex

They are all depressed and use BDSM to cope

They are all obsessed with BDSM culture and their relationships

They are all dependent

“Real” subs always use contracts

They all want to be live-in sex slaves

They don’t have a right to disagree with their doms

All female submissives are bisexual

Slaves are the only kind of “real” sub

They can’t give consent and still be submissive

They are all brainwashed

They all want to move in with someone so they’ll be taken care of

They lose their human rights once they decide to submit to someone

They all crave attention, and don’t care who gives it to them

They are all obsessed with sex

They are all thin

They are all selfish

They can be “claimed” by a dom without consenting to it

They all want to be collared

All male subs are gay, they might just not know it yet

Once they have a dom, their preferences don’t matter

They are all clingy 

They were all bullied in school

They all hate themselves and use BDSM as a form of self harm

They are all emotionally sensitive

They aren’t “really” submissive if they only submit during sex

They are all introverted

They all love being spanked

“Real” subs don’t have limits and let their doms decide what they can’t handle 

[bdsmdynamics]

50 Myths About Submissives

They all have low self confidence

They are all female

They are submissive at their jobs

They are all masochists

They are all emotionally troubled and want a dom to “rescue” them

They never have any control over scenes

They are all victims of abuse

They all wear costumes during scenes

They all want to play with people besides their dom

They all look “alternative”

They are all mentally ill

They can’t be submissive sometimes and dominant other times

They were all abused growing up

They can’t be feminists

They are all white

They all believe men are superior to women

They can’t have serious relationships

They are very hard to find

None of them are monogamous

They all have bad relationships with their parents

They are all into bondage

None of them enjoy vanilla sex

They are all depressed and use BDSM to cope

They are all obsessed with BDSM culture and their relationships

They are all dependent

“Real” subs always use contracts

They all want to be live-in sex slaves

They don’t have a right to disagree with their doms

All female submissives are bisexual

Slaves are the only kind of “real” sub

They can’t give consent and still be submissive

They are all brainwashed

They all want to move in with someone so they’ll be taken care of

They lose their human rights once they decide to submit to someone

They all crave attention, and don’t care who gives it to them

They are all obsessed with sex

They are all thin

They are all selfish

They can be “claimed” by a dom without consenting to it

They all want to be collared

All male subs are gay, they might just not know it yet

Once they have a dom, their preferences don’t matter

They are all clingy 

They were all bullied in school

They all hate themselves and use BDSM as a form of self harm

They are all emotionally sensitive

They aren’t “really” submissive if they only submit during sex

They are all introverted

They all love being spanked

“Real” subs don’t have limits and let their doms decide what they can’t handle 

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | 3 Tips for Participating in the Fetlife Protest

Over 1,000 Fetlife users plan to temporarily deactivate their Fetlife profiles between April 30th and May 4th. The protest, #SlutStrike, advocates for policies and features that reduce online sexual harassment. You can read more about the strike in our previous post here.

Here’s how you can take part in #SlutStrike:

1. Comment in this Fetlife announcement thread. Tell the team what community health features you’d like to see added. These could be advanced blocking options, the ability to screen users before you add them, stricter reporting, etc. 

2. Register for the deactivation event.

3. Deactivate your account for 3-5 days between April 30th and May 4th.

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | Here’s Why Kinksters are Protesting Fetlife

Fetlife will be a little quieter next week. Over 1,000 kinksters have signed up for #SlutStrike, a week-long deactivation event. Between April 30th and May 4th, participating users will deactivate to protest Fetlife’s ongoing “creep problem”.

Despite being the largest kinky social network, Fetlife has the worst reputation. Users are stalked, harassed, and threatened on a daily basis. It’s been an issue for over ten years, yet the company has never found a fix.

Many strikers hope that “going dark” will cause the company to lose money through ad revenue. They want to scare the site into implementing better moderation tools, like user screening and advanced blocking. Some users plan to temporarily cancel their premium subscriptions. 

So far, #SlutStrike seems to be working. Founder John Baku has recently claimed that Fetlife will update its policies and retrain its support team. The new project will be finished by May 18th.

Will you be participating in #SlutStrike?

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | Here’s Why Kinksters are Protesting Fetlife

Fetlife will be a little quieter next week. Over 1,000 kinksters have signed up for #SlutStrike, a week-long deactivation event. Between April 30th and May 4th, participating users will deactivate to protest Fetlife’s ongoing “creep problem”.

Despite being the largest kinky social network, Fetlife has the worst reputation. Users are stalked, harassed, and threatened on a daily basis. It’s been an issue for over ten years, yet the company has never found a fix.

Many strikers hope that “going dark” will cause the company to lose money through ad revenue. They want to scare the site into implementing better moderation tools, like user screening and advanced blocking. Some users plan to temporarily cancel their premium subscriptions. 

So far, #SlutStrike seems to be working. Founder John Baku has recently claimed that Fetlife will update its policies and retrain its support team. The new project will be finished by May 18th.

Will you be participating in #SlutStrike?

[bdsmdynamics]

#SlutStrike | Here’s Why Kinksters are Protesting Fetlife

Fetlife will be a little quieter next week. Over 1,000 kinksters have signed up for #SlutStrike, a week-long deactivation event. Between April 30th and May 4th, participating users will deactivate to protest Fetlife’s ongoing “creep problem”.

Despite being the largest kinky social network, Fetlife has the worst reputation. Users are stalked, harassed, and threatened on a daily basis. It’s been an issue for over ten years, yet the company has never found a fix.

Many strikers hope that “going dark” will cause the company to lose money through ad revenue. They want to scare the site into implementing better moderation tools, like user screening and advanced blocking. Some users plan to temporarily cancel their premium subscriptions. 

So far, #SlutStrike seems to be working. Founder John Baku has recently claimed that Fetlife will update its policies and retrain its support team. The new project will be finished by May 18th.

Will you be participating in #SlutStrike?

[bdsmdynamics]

5 Ways to Support Kinky Sex Workers After FOSTA/SESTA

FOSTA/SESTA is a law meant to curb sex trafficking, but it’s destroying jobs across the US. Websites like Craigslist and Backpage are closing their doors on sex workers to prevent legal trouble, and your favorite content creators could be next.

Camgirls, sugar babies, pro dom/mes, and those who sell premium content like Snapchats and Kik sessions could all be in danger of losing their jobs if their sites and apps delete their accounts, but you can help. Here are 5 ways to support kinky sex workers after FOSTA/SESTA:

1. Sign the White House petition to repeal FOSTA/SESTA before April 26th

2. Share the White House petition to repeal FOSTA/SESTA on your kink AND vanilla social media (Fetlife/Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/etc.)

3. Donate or buy merch from one or more of these sex worker organizations:

Red Light Legal  - Money goes to getting sex workers legal representation (Donate, Merch)

Sex Workers Outreach Project Behind Bars - Money goes to getting incarcerated and recently released sex workers necessities like food, clothes, and toiletries (Donate)

St James Infirmary - Money goes to food, clothes, toiletries, and medical services for active sex workers (Donate, Merch)

4. Support your favorite sex workers by purchasing their premium content, donating to them, or buying supplies from their Amazon wishlists

5. Promote your favorite sex workers’ content on your kink-friendly social media pages (Fetlife/Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/etc.)

Image source: Engadget

[bdsmdynamics]

5 Ways to Support Kinky Sex Workers After FOSTA/SESTA

FOSTA/SESTA is a law meant to curb sex trafficking, but it’s destroying jobs across the US. Websites like Craigslist and Backpage are closing their doors on sex workers to prevent legal trouble, and your favorite content creators could be next.

Camgirls, sugar babies, pro dom/mes, and those who sell premium content like Snapchats and Kik sessions could all be in danger of losing their jobs if their sites and apps delete their accounts, but you can help. Here are 5 ways to support kinky sex workers after FOSTA/SESTA:

1. Sign the White House petition to repeal FOSTA/SESTA before April 26th

2. Share the White House petition to repeal FOSTA/SESTA on your kink AND vanilla social media (Fetlife/Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/etc.)

3. Donate or buy merch from one or more of these sex worker organizations:

Red Light Legal  - Money goes to getting sex workers legal representation (Donate, Merch)

Sex Workers Outreach Project Behind Bars - Money goes to getting incarcerated and recently released sex workers necessities like food, clothes, and toiletries (Donate)

St James Infirmary - Money goes to food, clothes, toiletries, and medical services for active sex workers (Donate, Merch)

4. Support your favorite sex workers by purchasing their premium content, donating to them, or buying supplies from their Amazon wishlists

5. Promote your favorite sex workers’ content on your kink-friendly social media pages (Fetlife/Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/etc.)

Image source: Engadget

[bdsmdynamics]

BDSM Questions Tag

So, I thought I’d start with a post that allowed you to get to know me a bit more! These questions were chosen as the top 10 from a long list (approximately 80!) created by Phoen and me. If you chose to answer these questions yourself on either a blog or video I’d love to check it out!

Questions:

1. Are you a dom or a sub? I am a full fledged submissive! Tried my hand at domming once and it was the least comfortable I’ve ever felt, sub life forever! 2. How long have you known that you were kinky? Approximately 5-6 years! 3. How did you get into BDSM? I discovered BDSM through reading, specifically a book called ‘My Nerdy Valentine’. Probably not the most appropriate book for a preteen to be reading. But it did help me discover that I was very much into a less vanilla life! 4. How has BDSM changed your life? I feel like it’s given me more confidence, both sexually and just in my general life. And without the kink community I wouldn’t have met several of my current close friends who have helped me in their own ways! 5. Have you ever been to a BDSM event (like a munch or a dungeon)? Nope! Partially because a lot of dungeons and events like it are 21 up, but also because I don’t know anyone in the community in my area and have yet to work up the courage to go to a munch or such alone. 6. Has anyone ever guessed that you were kinky before they knew you? One time at a grocery store a woman called out to me from a few few away, walked up, gently touched my collar and said “that’s cool” with this smirk, and then walked away. 7. Have you ever ‘come out’ about being kinky to friends or family? One time I was having a conversation with my older sister and accidentally mentioned my fetlife account, but she didn’t seem phased by it at all and just kept the conversation going. 8. What do you wish the public knew about BDSM? That it’s completely consensual and there is nothing inherently wrong with someone for being into or enjoying such activities. And personally BDSM doesn’t always equal sex. It is trust, and respect and openness and understanding and does not need to include sex for it to be BDSM. 9. What common mistakes have you seen BDSM beginners make? Acting as one dynamics rules apply to all. Or thinking that just because someone is a sub, that they have to please any Dom who wants them to. Or rushing into everything, trying to understand and know everything there is to know immediately, just to name a few! 10. What advice would you give to someone who is new to BDSM? Be patient, don’t be afraid to seek out advice and mentor-ship from those willing to give it. There is no ‘right’ way to be kinky! And you will never stop learning more in the BDSM community, there is so much to take in and learn.

[bdsmdynamics]

Send Nudes Safely: 3 Apps that Protect Your Privacy

Since the Facebook scandal, social media privacy has become a hot issue. Some in the BDSM community worry about the privacy and security of their sexual pics. Are your photos safe from hackers, data collectors, and prying eyes? If not, here are 3 secure messaging apps you can use to send nudes:

1. Signal

Pros: The most secure messaging app. Signal encrypts your messages so hackers can’t read them. It also lets you disable screenshots. 

Cons: It’s much less popular than Kik, Snapchat, or WhatApp. You may have to do a little convincing to get partners to download it.

2. Telegram

Pros: Like Signal, Telegram can encrypt your messages. It can also disable screenshots.

Cons: You have to choose to encrypt your messages and disable screenshots every time you start a new chat. Telegram’s security is weaker than Signal and Snapchat’s. It also suffers a security flaw: With a little work, anyone can find out who and when you’re texting. It’s also less popular than big apps like WhatsApp.

3. WhatsApp

Pros: When WhatsApp does encrypt messages, they are very secure.  It’s also used by tons of people, so partners may already have it.

Cons: WhatsApp only encrypts messages when everyone in chat has the newest version. Also, it backs up your chats and pics to Google Drive or iCloud by default. If you don’t disable backups, hackers could find your nudes if they get access to your Google or Apple accounts. You also can’t disable screenshots. Lastly, WhatsApp collects a lot of data on the way you use it. Many fear that its parent company (Facebook) will one day sell the data to prying advertisers.

[bdsmdynamics]

Send Nudes Safely: 3 Apps that Protect Your Privacy

Since the Facebook scandal, social media privacy has become a hot issue. Some in the BDSM community worry about the privacy and security of their sexual pics. Are your photos safe from hackers, data collectors, and prying eyes? If not, here are 3 secure messaging apps you can use to send nudes:

1. Signal

Pros: The most secure messaging app. Signal encrypts your messages so hackers can’t read them. It also lets you disable screenshots. 

Cons: It’s much less popular than Kik, Snapchat, or WhatApp. You may have to do a little convincing to get partners to download it.

2. Telegram

Pros: Like Signal, Telegram can encrypt your messages. It can also disable screenshots.

Cons: You have to choose to encrypt your messages and disable screenshots every time you start a new chat. Telegram’s security is weaker than Signal and Snapchat’s. It also suffers a security flaw: With a little work, anyone can find out who and when you’re texting. It’s also less popular than big apps like WhatsApp.

3. WhatsApp

Pros: When WhatsApp does encrypt messages, they are very secure.  It’s also used by tons of people, so partners may already have it.

Cons: WhatsApp only encrypts messages when everyone in chat has the newest version. Also, it backs up your chats and pics to Google Drive or iCloud by default. If you don’t disable backups, hackers could find your nudes if they get access to your Google or Apple accounts. You also can’t disable screenshots. Lastly, WhatsApp collects a lot of data on the way you use it. Many fear that its parent company (Facebook) will one day sell the data to prying advertisers.

[bdsmdynamics]

Send Nudes Safely: 3 Apps that Protect Your Privacy

Since the Facebook scandal, social media privacy has become a hot issue. Some in the BDSM community worry about the privacy and security of their sexual pics. Are your photos safe from hackers, data collectors, and prying eyes? If not, here are 3 secure messaging apps you can use to send nudes:

1. Signal

Pros: The most secure messaging app. Signal encrypts your messages so hackers can’t read them. It also lets you disable screenshots. 

Cons: It’s much less popular than Kik, Snapchat, or WhatApp. You may have to do a little convincing to get partners to download it.

2. Telegram

Pros: Like Signal, Telegram can encrypt your messages. It can also disable screenshots.

Cons: You have to choose to encrypt your messages and disable screenshots every time you start a new chat. Telegram’s security is weaker than Signal and Snapchat’s. It also suffers a security flaw: With a little work, anyone can find out who and when you’re texting. It’s also less popular than big apps like WhatsApp.

3. WhatsApp

Pros: When WhatsApp does encrypt messages, they are very secure.  It’s also used by tons of people, so partners may already have it.

Cons: WhatsApp only encrypts messages when everyone in chat has the newest version. Also, it backs up your chats and pics to Google Drive or iCloud by default. If you don’t disable backups, hackers could find your nudes if they get access to your Google or Apple accounts. You also can’t disable screenshots. Lastly, WhatsApp collects a lot of data on the way you use it. Many fear that its parent company (Facebook) will one day sell the data to prying advertisers.