#nor is she as strong of a jedi as Ahsoka or even Ezra

[jonquilandlace]

anyway im sure this take has been made before but Sabine Wren is literally the perfect definition of a multiclass

[kanansdume]

Okay, so I'm not ENTIRELY against the idea of Ahsoka, stupidly powerful Force user that she is, having an apprentice that is fairly weak in the Force. Strong enough to USE IT, but still just generally below average.

But it should've been JACEN.

Little Jacen Syndulla who Hera doesn't want to send away from her to go learn from Luke. Little Jacen who knows he doesn't really have what it takes to be a full Jedi and doesn't feel the call to do it, but has just enough Force sensitivity to need a little training in it. And neither Kanan nor Ezra are around anymore to help, so Hera turns to the only other Force sensitive family friend she can to ask for training for her son.

Except that Ahsoka refuses, because she doesn't really feel ready to train ANYBODY yet. She's still reeling from the revelation of Anakin's betrayal, even so many years later. She didn't even complete her own training, she barely would have had 2 years' worth of training before she left and hasn't exactly had contact with another Jedi Master in the 20 years since then to help her complete it.

You can even have this be a long drawn out argument that Hera and Ahsoka have been having for years without it feeling like we missed a season's worth of content. Hera can just be making pointed digs that Jacen still needs training, that she's doing the best she can to help him figure out things like meditation and basic philosophies on her own, but that there's only so much she can do when she's not Force sensitive herself and can't understand how that even WORKS well enough to explain it to Jacen. And Ahsoka keeps saying no, she keeps staying well away from little Jacen Syndulla and Hera's very sensible arguments.

You can have little Jacen feel rejected, like Ahsoka doesn't want him because he's not powerful enough, because he's not a REAL Jedi.

And of course Ahskoa doesn't feel like a "real" Jedi herself, despite how powerful she is in the Force, so this could lead to an interesting connection between the two of them. The powerful Force user who never finished training and left the Order before its destruction, whose Master was the one who destroyed the Jedi in the first place, and the weak Force user who so desperately wants training even if he knows he'll never be a full Jedi because of it. Neither of them are "real" Jedi perhaps, and neither of them will ever truly become one. Ahsoka can't get back the years she lost and Jacen can't magically get more powerful in the Force. But the two of them could maybe find a connection between each other and recognize what being a Jedi means to each of them personally.

Because teaching someone else is central to a Jedi's life. Training a new Jedi brings you that much closer to understanding what it truly means to BE a Jedi. And Ahsoka has to let go of all of her fears about Anakin and her doubts over her own abilities before she can truly accept that and help Jacen start to overcome his own fears and doubts.

[master-skywalker-01]

Ahsoka: A Return to Star Wars

Ahsoka Tano is my favorite Star Wars character, she’s Filoni’s best addition to the Star Wars cast, and as she is his baby, she's mine too. I was worried for how the new show would treat her, but having seen The Clone Wars movie, tv show, and Rebels, I trusted Dave Filoni. It was rightly placed trust. Watching this show, for me, felt like watching the prequels again. The lightsaber fights we’re fast paced, the characters held an air of mystery, and Thrawn was perfect. 

Baylan Skoll and Shin Hati are the most interesting new characters since Lady Tano herself. Introduced with little dialogue, Baylan makes it clear they are neither Jedi nor Sith. He refers to them as something more when speaking with Shin, saying “You, I trained to be more”. Baylan, once on Peridea, loses interest in the Jedi and thrown, revealing to his apprentice that he searched for something greater than what Thrawn and the Great Mothers could offer. 

He gives Shin a choice near the end of the show, to turn Sabine and Ezra over to Thrawn, take her place in the coming war, with a silent offer to stay written between the lines. Shin, of course, less trained and less trusting in the force and her master, chooses to join Thrawn. A fight ensues between her, some night troopers, and our Jedi Padawans. 

Which brings me to Sabine and Ezra. Neither had been my favorites in Rebels, I had attached to Ahsoka, Chopper, and Hera. In this new show, I love these characters. Sabine, struggles with trust, the force, her feelings towards Ezra, and finding her footing with Ahsoka. She slowly does and by the end uses the force through trust. Erza, in my opinion, was hard headed, and slightly annoying in Rebels, but in Ahsoka he’s funny, light-hearted, wiser, and much more like Kanan than I was expecting. His interactions with Huyang were wholesome, and the twin emitter to Kanan’s was a good touch.

Hera, Chopper and Jacen. My little Syndulla family hold the number two spot in my heart. Hera was snappy, strong-willed, open, and a great mother. Jacen was Adorable, and alot like his father, I would love to get to know the force sensitive, half twi-lek more. And as always Chopper was the greatest little criminal, snappy, and funny. 

Now, moving to the namesake of the show, Ahsoka. When she was introduced, she was an annoying, stuck-up, fourteen year old. She wasn’t liked much by the fandom, but Dave Filoni, as always, had a plan and slowly, with the audience, Ahsoka would mature, she gets two lightsabers, listens to Anakin more, faces hardship, and eventually left the Jedi order. As she grew after Order 66, Ahsoka became clouded and unbalanced. We watch her grow more fearful and secluded as she ages, even as she aids the rebellion, and it all comes to a head in Ahsoka.

Ahsoka fights Baylan and Shin much like Anakin fought Obi-wan, pushing forward attacking, even force-chocking and throwing Shin. Ultimately, as it had been Anakin’s, Ahsoka’s brute force is her downfall (literally). She loses the fight, and is knocked off the cliffside by Skoll, into the water. In the water, Ahsoka is pulled into the World Between Worlds where she finds Anakin, there to teach her one last lesson, live or die. Then, Hayden Christen, Anakin Skywalker himself fights his apprentice for the 3rd time.

This fight was beautifully choreographed, and executed, it was quick, fierce, charged, and all around an amazing duel between master and padawan, as is the Star Wars tradition. Just this was incredible, and I wasn’t ready when we went to the unknown regions for the first time in canon history.

Peridea was the last thing I expected, and even though we’d left our main Star Wars galaxy, everything was still so Star Wars. The Great Mothers, The Chimera, The Night Troopers, Morgan becoming a magical nightsister. I was blown away, yet everything gave me the same feeling as the 1977 classics, and the 2000’s prequels. This is how Star Wars is supposed to feel in my mind, and Ahsoka did it perfectly. 

All I can hope for now is two separate stories, Dave Filoni’s, Heir to The Empire movie to be about our regular Galaxy with Hera, Ezra, The Mandalorians, and Luke. Then a different story, on Peridea with Ahsoka, Sabine, Shin, and Baylan, in Ahsoka season 2. That would be the perfect way to continue this amazing love letter to Star Wars and the Star Wars fans. 

~Leia-Marie Jones~

[nimata-beroya]

MY THOUGHTS ON AHSOKA - Part 1 "Master and Apprentice" & Part 2 "Toil and Trouble"

(ok let's do this again, bc I posted the previous post before I was finished by mistake, and the power went out right at that moment which means I had no Wi-Fi to fix it 😣😣)

The first thing I can say is that I liked this premiere a lot, but it didn't blow my mind to smithereens. It was a pretty decent start and I can see the potential, I'm invested. But I'd rather remain cautious for the moment. I don't want to hype myself too much, fearing a big disappointment down the road.

There were surprises (very good surprises), some confirmations of things I suspected or have seen others speculating about, and a thing or 2 that I'm iffy about. and also I liked the pace. It's not too slow, nor too fast. It seems deliberated, and I think that's a good thing.

Let's dive into the details…

Part 1 - Master and apprentice

Watching a New Republic transport losing yet again a prisoner, makes me think the NR needs to work on this problem. Because so far, there've been 4 different prisoner breakouts that we know of (2 of those were the same guy!!)

Ahsoka in the ancient temple looking for the map was cool. I love the video game treasure hunt/solve the puzzle kind of feel about it (it made think about Jedi fallen order/survivor). And Huyang roasting Ahsoka for not having a padawan with her was the best.

I loved the subtle hint that Ahsoka made about Morgan Esbelth hiring mercenaries in the past (AKA: Din. I wonder if he could have a small cameo)

My first reaction to Hera believing that Ezra is dead was shock, especially since in the Rebels finale seemed that she knew he was just lost not dead, but after thinking about it, it does make sense. First, because she never had the confirmation that he was actually alive. There's no trace of him or Thrawn in the galaxy (we learned why later), and second, and maybe more importantly, it's much easier to continue living on with a loved one's death than a disappearance. The not-knowing, the constant yearning can be exhausting. With death come pain, but eventually with healthy grieving you should accept it and move on.

Omg! I can't believe Ryder Azadi and Jai Kell were there!! And the mural’s dedication to Ezra 😭😭😭😭 I love that everyone still have him so present even after all this time 💕💕

Sabine is commander, huh? Nice! But the fact that she wasn't in the ceremony doesn't surprise me at all.

Her Loth cat is the most adorable thing ever. I want one!!!

That Morgan Elsbeth being a Nightsister wasn't the biggest surprise for me, bc I had seen people speculating about. In fact, I like the idea of another surviving Nightsister. My only nickpicking about this is that her skin is too pink for a Witch of Dathomir. I guess she's either half-human/half-zabrak, or she's using some cloaking spell on herself.

Ezra's message just for Sabine 😭😭😭

(I have to make a pause here to confess something. When I watched Rebels for the first time, I was happy that Ezra and Sabine didn't end up being a thing. That doesn't mean I didn't see the signs that they could be more than friends/siblings, because there were signs, but I feel that media loves to put first love as if it should be the love of the characters' life always, when in real life it's much less common. It happens, but usually you don't marry your first love. And I thought it was ok to leave the romantic plot out of it. I mean, they were kids fighting a war, they had enough on their plate.

But now, as adults who have grown and gotten vastly different experiences in life and all that? I won't be mad if, when they find Ezra, they declare romantic love for each other. And regarding the message when Ezra says he sees her as a sister, I have the strong feeling that he said that because that was what he thought she wanted to hear. He accepted he was in the "friend zone" and respected that, not knowing Sabine was pinning for him, you know, like idiots in love.

It could be just as he said, they love each other platonically as siblings, and I'm ok with that too. But my heart goes out to all the Sabezra shippers. I know your pain, and as Kalluzeb shipper we might share the same boat soon. I'm fearing that they'll put even harder the "Only friends" sticker on Kallus and Zeb. But just like you, I'll ignore it. So, ship away, my dears. Who's going to stop you? Not me!)

Ahsoka should've known that Sabine would take the map! That was a very Sabine (and a very padawan) thing to do. She should know. How many times she disobeyed Anakin?

And Sabine should've known something like that would happen. When something goes as planned?

The fight between Shin and Sabine was great, but it was painful how rusty Sabine has become. Come on, girl!! and OUCH!!! I didn't expect she was going to be impaled. And thank goodness episode 2 was next because I would've hated that cliffhanger.

Part 2 - Toil and Trouble

Ahsoka's reaction about Sabine losing the map, altho understandable, got on my nerves. Really Ahsoka? have you never done something wrong? I know, I know!! her reaction stems off her trauma and all that, but idk, I didn't like it.

On the other hand, Mom daughter moment with Hera and Sabine was so precious 😭 That really took me back to Rebels. I always love when Hera is the best mom in the galaxy, showing Sabine unconditional support. Despite the physical aspect of the character that it's taking me a bit to get used to it, I think Mary Elizabeth Winstead is doing a pretty good job embodying Hera personality.

For one glorious second, I thought we were going to see live-action Kallus, I swear. I mean, who could've been better to accompany them to Corellia to found out if there were Imperial spies, hmm? I didn't even need him to be in the whole thing, just 5 seconds of screen time, giving them intel on the shipyard or something. Is that too much to ask?!!

OH!! So Ezra and Thrawn are in another galaxy! That explains why nobody found a trace of them. So I guess Peridea is a thing now. And what if Mortis is in that galaxy --or in another-- and Anakin , Obi-Wan and Ahsoka traveled in one of those paths back in TCW? Ok, this is getting interesting.

Thrawn calling Morgan?! Sounds unlikely. But if it's not thrawn, then who? Oh! OH! 😳 I just remembered, The Grysk can manipulate other people's minds!!! I thought we weren't going to touch on the Grysk on this show, like ever, but what if?!!! (i'm sure I'm wrong, but if I'm right? OH MYYY GOOOOSSSHH!!! This show could be soooo so good)

Chopper!!! There he is!!! My beloved war criminal!! I missed him so much!

Yes, yes!! that's general Syndulla I know. Taking shit from nobody!

Thank you, Huyang for easing my mind! Thank the force that Sabine is NOT force sensitive. Like this, I can get behind of the whole idea of Ahsoka being her Master. It's not my favorite thing, but I can tolerate it like this.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Chopper in the chase in the phantom was absolutely great!!

😭 Sabine cutting her hair just like Kanan did. Stop it with feels, dammit!!

Ok now we have caught up with the epilogue, and I'm excited for what's to come.

[antianakin]

I will try to elaborate a little on this, but please keep in mind this was written as kind-of half-joking, I am not religious at all (my mother's Catholic but never talked to me about religion nor did she take me to church or anything, I've been to church maybe like 3-4 times in my life and it was always in a language I do not speak and I was there under duress), so please take this explanation in the spirit it was originally meant.

Also, spoilers below the cut just to be safe.

Okay. So I think most people at this point are aware that Star Wars, especially the Jedi, is based on a LOT of Buddhist ideologies. A lot of things the Jedi talk about as their core beliefs are very very Buddhist in origin, things like mindfulness and non-attachment as two very specific examples. Star Wars sends the message that only when you truly understand yourself and your darkness can you have any hope of CONTROLLING that darkness.

One of the ways the Jedi choose to do this is through mindfulness, which at its bare bones just means to be aware of the emotions you are feeling and why so you can understand why you are reacting to things in certain ways and choose whether to act on it or not.

One of the other ways the Jedi do this is through non-attachment, which is more about understanding that everything in life is ephemeral, it doesn't last, and it's unnatural to try to KEEP things from changing simply because they make you feel good. This is true in numerous ways, from relationships with other people to connections to a particular item or place or an idea of how your future will look, etc. The Jedi work to accept that change is inevitable and almost EMBRACE change as a natural part of life so they can let go of the things they care about when it's time to do so rather than clinging on selfishly which does nothing but cause pain to yourself and others.

The non-attachment thing in particular seems to be a sticking point for a lot of people because it gets interpreted as "they can't ever love or care about anyone or anything." And so there's this pushback to sort-of insist that actually the Jedi SHOULD feel that strong connection, especially to a person, because that's just what love IS.

And the Ahsoka show suffers from that same problem. Instead of following the non-attachment message, it argues that actually you SHOULD burn a galaxy down for one person you love above all else because if you don't, you don't truly love them and you may in fact be an evil villain or an asshole. To be more specific, Sabine ends up with a map that leads to a galaxy that both Thrawn and Ezra might be in and the only way to use the map to find Ezra is to allow Thrawn's followers to also find HIM, which gives him the opportunity to come BACK to their galaxy and continue to wreak havoc and maybe even restart the Empire while the New Republic is just trying to rebuild itself. And instead of destroying the map so that NEITHER of them get what they want and Thrawn is kept far away, she gives the map to the bad guys on the condition that they bring her with them. Surprise surprise, Thrawn ends up coming back to the galaxy and is presumably going to restart the Empire.

Sabine is not EVER condemned for this choice. NOBODY censures her for it. In fact, Ahsoka tells her when they end up reuniting later that she's actually just going to support all of Sabine's choices from now on no matter what. Ahsoka had a conversation with someone else earlier where he defends Sabine's choice by saying that, while there would be no more Thrawn and no more Empire had she chosen to destroy the map, there'd also be no more Ezra, and Sabine may have felt like she didn't HAVE a choice. Ezra himself is never even TOLD about any of this, so how he might have responded to the fact that Sabine intentionally undid everything he sacrificed himself for all those years ago is left unknown, but given the way the rest of the show went, I assume he'd have been fine with it. There's even an implication at some point that it's fine that Sabine did this because the ultimate consequence was "meant to be" or something. That she was basically destined to make this choice, so it's not really her fault that she made it and she can't be held responsible for it or whatever.

And then there's the Anakin stuff and how Ahsoka never ever ever condemns Anakin for anything he does and completely forgives him by the end and acts like he never actually did anything wrong in his life at all. And it's clearly paralleled with the way she treats Sabine and the selfishness Sabine showcases and Sabine's relationship to Ezra and so there's the same element of predestination with Anakin's choices which removes all of his responsibility for the consequences of his choices. Ahsoka is choosing to just act like Anakin was a good person and none of the rest of it even matters.

And I dunno, it feels just... SO FAR from the Buddhist ideologies of non-attachment that Lucas intentionally wove into his own story with Luke and Anakin and Obi-Wan and Yoda. And it feels very reminiscent of more Christian ideas of like... loving one god above all and how "god has a plan for all of us" and all of that. The whole idea of like... if you ask for forgiveness from god once then all of your sins are now just... poof gone or whatever. Easy peasy.

There's also elements of trying to turn the Jedi into more like medieval knights than Buddhist monks, both visually and ideologically, and it just feels really sad and anti-Jedi to be taking this core element from them to turn them into something else. If I want medieval knights, I can get those anywhere. The Jedi felt more unique BECAUSE they were Buddhist monks in space. They're not cooler without that element, they're honestly 10x more boring.

So yeah, I could probably go on and on about why this show sucks and why it's anti-Jedi, but the joke about having "made it Christian" is me being kind-of facetious and trying to find a way to fit my feelings into this particular joke format.

Filoni: I have made the best Star Wars.

Pro Jedi fans: You fucked up a perfectly good space opera is what you did. Look at it. It's Christian.

[alright-anakin]

Spotify Wrapped 2020 Writing Prompts

8: Epiphany - Taylor Swift

Just One Single Glimpse of Relief

So… The apprentice lives…

The chilling words had taken root in Ahsoka’s mind as soon as she heard them. She couldn’t forget them, nor could she fully shake their implication. That had been about a week ago. Ezra and Kanan would occasionally ask her if she had gotten any intel on who the Sith that they encountered was, and each time, she told them she hadn’t. But dread sat heavy in her stomach, and she couldn’t quite say with a clear conscious that she didn’t know, or at least suspect, the identity of the dark presence. Meditation brought no relief. Sleeping brought nightmares. There was no escape.

When they visited the Temple on Lothal, she knew. In her mind, she knew. But the heart was not so easily changed. Perhaps there was a part of her that would never fully lose hope. That’s what she wanted to believe anyway. When Rex was talking about him to Ezra, though, she couldn’t handle it. She left, knowing that if she stayed, she wouldn’t have been able to keep her composure

…

“But we have little time. The one they call Vader will be here soon.” The way Maul looked at her brought her back to the last days of the Clone Wars. For a moment, she was seventeen again, facing him down as he told her things she had dismissed at the time.

“There is no law, no order, except for the one that will replace it! The time for the Jedi has passed!” He had been right about that, hadn’t he? What else was he right about? “He has long been groomed for his role, as my master’s new apprentice.”

“You lie!”

He hadn’t lied, had he?

...

“I don’t fear you!”

“Then you will die braver than most.” Ezra was unarmed now, and Ahsoka could sense his fear. “Perhaps I was wrong.” Something snapped in Ahsoka and she knew she had to make her presence known.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” The black-clad man turned to face her. She couldn’t quite understand why the harsh breathing made her own chest burn.

“It was foretold that you would be here. Our long-awaited meeting has come at last.”

“I’m glad I gave you something to look forward to,” she snipped.

“We need not be adversaries,” the mechanical voice continued. “The Emperor will show you mercy if you tell me where the remaining Jedi can be found.”

“There are no Jedi. You and your Inquisitors have seen to that.”

“Perhaps this child will confess what you will not.” Something in her chest ached more at his words.

“I was beginning to think I knew who you were behind that mask, but it’s impossible.” More fissures cracked down her heart as she stared at the cold black mask that mirrored the heart within his chest. It took everything in her to keep her voice steady. “My master could never be as vile as you.”

“Anakin Skywalker was weak.” No, he was strong, her heart screamed. “I destroyed him.” Her throat closed and her eyes burned. She spoke past the lump in her throat, her voice coming out quiet.

“Then I will avenge his death.”

“Revenge is not the Jedi way.”

“Revenge is not the Jedi way, Ahsoka.” His voice, unmarred by mechanics, echoed in her mind.

“I am no Jedi.” She registered the sound of sabers activating, and realized belatedly that they were her own. Crimson rose to meet her white. She was suddenly angry. She was absolutely furious. How dare he become this… this monster. She had trusted him! She had loved him. Hadn’t he known that? Hadn’t he known how many he had hurt by his actions? Did he not care? Couldn’t he feel their pain?

Couldn’t he feel his own pain?

She could, and it fueled her fury. She didn’t even register her blows until she was falling. He’d flung her off the ledge. That only made her angrier. She climbed back up the stairs, ignoring the pain. She reached the top and saw him about to take the holocron from Ezra and Kanan. She ran. She registered herself moving upwards and she swung, hoping she hit something vital.

They both sprawled onto the floor. She took a moment to get her bearings, and she heard Ezra call for her to come, to follow them. She got to her hands and knees and prepared to get up, to make her escape—

“Ahsoka” She froze. Ice ran through her veins. She turned, almost hesitantly, to look back at him. His breathing was labored. She had probably damaged the respirator when she swung. He turned to look at her head on. Her heart shattered. A singular golden eye stared back at her. “Ahsoka,” he said again. His voice sounded much more like Anakin this time.

“Anakin,” she breathed. They stared at one another, not speaking. Her chest ached and her soul screamed in agony. He was beyond her reach, she knew. Her mind knew, at least. Her heart, though, was stubborn. Her heart was a fool. Because even now, standing before this monstrous version of him, she loved him. “I won’t leave you,” the words left on their own accord, spoken from her bleeding soul. “Not this time.” There was a long silence. She though his gaze softened. But just as hope bloomed, it died. His eye hardened again.

“Then you will die.”

There was nothing but the echo of his words. She could see the intent in the one golden eye. He activated the saber again and she found her gaze drawn to it. She didn’t know what she expected to see when she looked at the hilt, but it was very similar to his old saber. Her stomach clenched at the familiarity.

Ezra was calling to her again. She knew he was running towards her. The door to the Temple was closing as the foundation crumbled around them. She lifted a hand and pushed him back. He would leave. He and Kanan would return to the Rebellion. They would live to fight another day. One day, the light would triumph over the dark. One day, there would be peace.

But she would not be there to see it. Strangely she was alright with that. She had fought hard for so long. She was fourteen when she walked off that ship and met her Master for the first time and ever since then, she did not know a day of true peace. But Ezra would. The Rebels would. A flicker of warning was all she received before the red saber was coming down towards her. She flung her sabers up to block, then turned to fully engage her brother once again.

He was aiming to kill and she was simply biding time. She was mildly surprised that she was able to hold her own against him. She didn’t doubt her abilities, but he was brutal, and his fighting style had changed. Most likely to accommodate the limitations of his prosthetics. He was taller than her by a lot. As he swung from above and she blocked his blow yet again, she laughed. It was a hollow sound. She felt his anger and confusion at her laughter, so after he struck only for her to block again, she decided to explain.

“Have you really forgotten, Anakin?”

“That name holds no meaning for me,” he said. To hear his own familiar voice denounce his very self was just… depressing.

“You taught me how to duel, Anakin,” she chuckled sadly. “Don’t you remember what you told me?” He did not answer. Instead, he struck again. His blows were heavy, and though she was tiring, she still managed to block them. “You taught me how to defeat someone like you. Someone taller and stronger than myself. Someone ruthless.” She could feel his frustration. “And I took those lessons to heart and strengthened my defenses. But I never thought I would have to use your own teaching against you. I never imagined a day where we would be fighting one another, rather than fight side by side.” He stilled, his gaze turning sad for a fraction of a second before hardening again.

“Those days are gone. They ceased to be as soon as you left.” She heard what he did not say. As soon as you left me. Perhaps he was right. More right than she ever wanted to think. Maybe, if she had stayed, he would have never strayed so far.

“I should have never left the Order. I should have never left you alone—” she cut off when her voice broke. He said nothing. She knew her words were too little too late. She could see it in his cold gaze. For a moment, all that could be heard was the horrible wheezing of his damaged respirator. She wondered what had happened to him to land him in that suit, then quickly decided she didn’t want to know. She could feel the burning in his ruined lungs as if it were her own pain, rather than his. “I’m sorry.” For a moment, she didn’t realize she had spoken out loud. There was a new pain she felt from him, a deep ache in his chest that mirrored her own heartache, but after a moment it was gone. Stamped down. Buried beneath rage.

She raised her sabers against his. His blows were faster and stronger despite his pain. He was being driven by hatred and fury. He was gaining on her now. After all, hate and anger served as a great source of stamina. Heartache and regret, unfortunately, did not. She was losing ground and she knew she was not going to last long. But it was alright. She had known the second she heard Anakin’s voice she was not going to leave this place. She had known she wouldn’t be able to kill him as soon as she had looked upon his face.

When he raised his saber again, she saw his intent to kill. His saber would slice her neck if she let it. He was gone. Beyond her reach. He had Fallen too far to pull back to the surface. She needed to do what he never could.

She needed to let go.

She deactivated her sabers. With you I served. He didn’t even pause, though she saw his gaze flicker to her hilts. She did not recognize the monster before her. But as she closed her eyes, every memory she had of him danced across her mind. She let each memory pass, and with them, her grief.

In her final moment, she wondered if this was what it felt like to lose a brother.

With you I fall down.

[jasontoddiefor]

Okay you're my go to person for weird thoughts. So you know how luke tried to revive the jedi order? Was he just allowed to collect force sensitive kids and teach them the five days of training he got or did someone force him to like. Get a teaching degree. Did ahsoka help in any way? Did she force him to go to teacher school to get a degree in teaching? Seriously is luke qualified to teach a bunch of kids a religion and a sword club.

Anon you’re my absolute fave person bc your “weird” thoughts give me an excuse to ramble about my thoughts without feeling like I’m just throwing them in the void so please keep those thoughts coming.

And this house knows parts of canon, but acknowledges even less so say goodbye to the sequels and legends because I Have Opinions.

First of, I think that Luke gets Ahsoka, Ezra & Cal on board with his Skywalker-Amidala charm and stubbornness. Canon, give me the forbidden Luke meeting other Jedi content. He’s not gonna revive the Order on his own, he needs people (and Leia is getting training too ofc bc she deserves a lightsaber but she’s also a little more busy with politics). So, yes, he has help.

Next - and I apologize in advance bc I’m going super off tangent here but it’s kinda necessary and also nobody can stop me - Luke got them all assembled and he kind of assumes they’re really organizing it all as equals while the others are quite happy to have him be the official representative/head of the Order. It takes a while for that particular realization to settle in - I picture something like a person calling him the leader and he wants to protest but everybody else just goes along with it. (He does protest in the aftermath of the talk because all of them have more real training than he, but Ezra doesn’t want to be in charge, Cal doesn’t think he’s up for the job and Ahsoka thinks that if they are starting anew, somebody from the old generation shouldn’t lead. And Luke already Has A Reputation.) So, Luke gets put in charge.

Now to get to the kids rebuilding the Jedi Order!

Okay, so. How do you even go about starting up your new Order? I imagine they start with the people that are already there and are Force-sensitive. So you have Rebels there, people their age or even older and teenagers, whoever has the ability and wants to learn. (I just really want Luke to take a look at a pilot he’s been flying with and go “okay your reflexes are way too good for you to not have the Force” and that’s how he gets his first student.)

They settle on Yavin IV bc it has canon ties and I freaking love that place it looks so cool. Also there is no evil Sith Spirit because I Have Spoken. And like, they might be rebuilding the Order, but they still need people to keep that place running and those that come to train, don’t come on their own. Luke was saved because of his ties to his father, he wouldn’t separate families. So you probably start out with a Rebel base that’s not an active combat base, but hmm maybe they put a hospital here? A refugee camp as well? Anyway, there are people and that means jobs and point is - this new Order isn’t isolating itself and there is a growing community.

So any kids that become Jedi, are likely being raised by their parents and the community as well! And it’s not like any of the Jedi here can teach basic biology. Therefore they might just drop “the Jedi subjects” in-between normal school lessons and work. You can’t rebuild from nothing, you need a community. And if you work in that community, you pick up on things. So The Squad might not get teaching degrees but you learn while interacting with children. I’m studying to become a teacher rn and I haven’t had many didactic classes so far, but I’m also doing afternoon classes for primary school kids and the more you interact with children, the more you figure out how to teach them.

And in the panic that is bound to hit at least Ezra and Luke, they might download teaching manuals from the holonet.

(”’Teaching with games’? Think we can have them throw balls at each other with the Force?”

“Idk, Yoda’s training was kind of more focused on how to not die when you meet Vader and I was more concerned with surviving. Hey, Ahsoka, Cal is that how you did it-”)

But that is also more about how you teach and less what you teach. I mean, nobody thought you could come back from the darkside but guess what! Luke and his compassion proved the opposite! And none of them ever got the full Jedi training. Imagine Cal coming home one day like “Hey so I found this holocron, did you know about *starts going off about obscure knowledge none of them have ever heard about*”. And Force ghosts! How that worked and that they existed also wasn’t common knowledge while Luke probably assumes that is just a thing Jedi know. So, really, they are figuring their new tenets out themselves as well. And there is no 1-on-1 teaching because there aren’t enough even semi-trained Jedi for that.

Would anybody ask them for their Credentials? Maybe. But also, like, this community starts with people they already know. Word gets around. Cal helps set up a garden by decimating the offending trees with his lightsaber. These don’t stay mysterious magical Jedi for long, they get humanized. And if the Mandalorian has taught us one thing, it’s that untrained strong Force-sensitive kids are dangerous. So people might just be happy there is someone who knows what to do when your kid starts levitating their toys.

TLDR Step 1 is setting up a base and trial-and-error based communal teaching without actually going out into the galaxy to find Force-sensitive people.

Now imagine you got that down. They go out to find Force-sensitive people/children or they might also, with their growing reputation, get children dropped on their doorstep. So they are now directly responsible for children that do not have any other guardians. Some might get adopted into the community but otherwise? Congrats, you’re a parent Jedi Master. And because screw the First Order - my OT people get a happy ending, Yavin is not only the home of the budding Jedi Order but also a place to recover, heck they might have a city starting to really take off, so imagine when the Alliance finds a bunch of kids to be indoctrinated into Stormtroopers, they might just... drop them there. And if one or two are Force-sensitive, that means they are exactly where they belong! (Yes, you caught me, I just want Jedi Finn.) Bonus points if the kids pick their own last names or like, just take the name of the moon or, even better, the last names of the Jedi already running around.

So this is a very long-winded way of saying that I think the first years of this new Order are less schooling in a typical institutional setting and a lot more communal and family-orientated raising children in general with the result that Luke has a mug that says Galaxy’s Greatest Dad Jedi Master, a birthday gift given to him by one of the kids that never fails to make Han laugh at him.

TLDR Neither Luke, nor Ezra or Cal or Ahsoka have teaching degrees but nobody asks for parenting degrees either. Are they qualified? Depends on whether you’re expecting them to be people who give you grades for essays, or people trying to support you first.

[speedgeek]

Actually going to attempt NaNo this year. Goal is just something on “paper” every day and hopeful post something every once is a while.

Haven’t titled this snippet yet. Time travel fix-it (one of a couple I’ve got in my head), ROTJ AU- Vader fails to kill Palpatine and things get as bad as they can get- his children are murdered in front of him, Ahsoka and Rex die and the Rebellion he now needs dies, he finds a way into the World Between Worlds and time travels back to the Clone Wars. (You know that speech in Rebels Ahsoka gives Ezra about not saving their masters and letting go, yeah she’s way smarter than her master and he still hasn’t learned that lesson.)

The first 2 minutes of Samuel Kim’s Imperial March is really the theme to this AU. Slower, softer, but actually a bit hopeful with the Force theme mixed in. (Been listening to it on repeat while writing.)

  A Krayt dragon roared in the distance, a storm blew through a nearby canyon. Vader jolted awake, feeling like he’d just hit the ground in a dream. He sat up and blinked a few times, clearing the blinding brightness from his eyes.

Three things became readily apparent. One, he could see clearly. Two, all he could see was sand and rocky outcroppings in the far distance. Three, he could smell dry dust, and the faint hint of salty decay that followed a big sand storm irritated his nostrils.

He groaned. He knew to his bones where he was. Tatooine.

The sound startled him. It wasn’t the weak whisper of scorched vocal cords he was used to, the little he spoke without his helmet.  

He looked down at his hands. Organic, flesh, non-mechanical hands. The tiny jagged lines on his fingers from working in Watto’s shop. A wrinkled burn on the knuckles of his right hand from a broken hyperdrive. The discolored streak on the back of the left from a stray blaster bolt. Calluses from hours of lightsaber practice. Fingertips that could feel.  

He had flesh and bone arms, covered in rough linen. Arms unencumbered by heavy armor that he could lift higher than his shoulders. A body, breathing and unwrecked, covered in the same rough but light woven clothing he’d worn as a child. Wraps that covered boots that held flesh and bone legs and feet, not weak and unyielding durasteel replacements originally designed for an overgrown bug. No chain around his neck, only a scarf.

He could breathe normally.

No respirator. No chest plate.

No life support torture suit.

No pain.

He’d forgotten what it was like to not have pain, not to have nerves poking at his consciousness. Pain had been a constant companion well before Mustafar, since Geonosis and his duel with Dooku.

He felt something wet slide down his cheeks. He wiped his face by reflex and paused. He was crying. He hadn’t had tear ducts since Mustafar either.

Vader closed his eyes and reached out to the Force. He could feel the welcoming light, instead of overwhelming darkness; the bonds that connected him to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka; Jedi, he could feel so many Jedi...

Against all sane reckoning, his desperate plea to the Force in the World Between Worlds had worked.  

He wiped away the tears, forcing his emotions under control. Emotions could be dealt with later, once he’d found safe shelter. This was no place to waste water. Nor to sit for long in contemplation. The suns would be high in the sky soon enough.

Pulling the scarf over his head, he looked for familiar shapes among the faraway crags. He knew the sands around Mos Espa and Mos Eisley well, even after all these years; this area wasn’t nearly rocky enough. Out in the flatlands, the small standing structures could be vaporators, possibly a domed house much further on the horizon- a moisture farm. It was pretty far, but he could be there well before double noon.

He walked forward.  

About halfway to the house, a speeder pulled up a few meters from him. An older man at the controls leveled a blaster rifle in his direction.

Vader stepped towards the speeder, keeping his hands visible. “Hello!”  

The man put the rifle to the side and with difficulty, lifted himself out of the seat to see over the windscreen. “Anakin?”

The confusion of being recognized, by a name he’d long since abandoned, lasted only a moment. Cliegg Lars, his step-father. If Cliegg knew who he was on sight, this was some time during the Clone Wars, before the Outer Rim Sieges- he remembered receiving a message about his death from Beru just before leaving for Skako Minor.

He exhaled in resignation. Of all the places on this cursed planet he didn’t want to go, of course this was the one where the Force dropped him. He had asked for the Force’s help, begged to go back to a time where he could fix things, prevent the Empire from ever rising. He’d imagined stopping everything at the Invasion of Naboo. Save his mother, save Qui-Gon, permanently kill Maul, expose Palpatine before he was ever elected Chancellor. Or possibly even earlier- Stark Hyperspace War, maybe Galidraan. Not the Clone War, not so close to the end.

He had to trust the Force; had to trust he was where he needed to be.  

Vader put his hands on his hips, apprehensive. “You would not believe the day I’ve had.”

Cliegg nodded toward the passenger seat. “Why don’t you tell me about it back at the house. I’m sure you could use some water.”

He hopped into the speeder with a wry half-smile. “I would suggest something much stronger than water.”

“Got plenty of moonshine.”

Vader let out a genuine laugh. Tatooine moonshine was strong enough to make ignorant outlanders go blind, if they were lucky. “Acceptable.”

  I know Cliegg isn’t a popular character in fandom, but I'm planning that Beru will be the more prominent of the Lars characters. Vaderkin will be finding out what his mom was up to without him and Beru’s more involved with that than Cliegg or Owen. He’s getting into a lot of semi-sketchy stuff on Tatooine for a good cause (and pissing off the Hutts), while ruthlessly hitting the periphery of the war and eventually gets caught by the Jedi. (Whatever story he concocts goes out the window because Obi-Wan absolutely loses his shit.)

We’ll see how NaNo actually goes this time. :)

[nny11writes]

ALL of your Ahsoka headcanons

Canon AhsokaHeadcanons

Because I have severalcontradicting headcanons, I’m trying to keep things contained to what wouldactually be likely versus what I enjoy headcanoning for Ahsoka as a character.I think anyone can headcanon anything about characters, and no one can say they’rewrong. Just, to make it easier for me I’m going to focus on things I think are morelikely true in canon instead of things I can’t prove/explain (clutching my newlyfound togruta have worse eyesight than humans and are “color blind” head canonto my chest y’all). There are probably things missing since I had to kind of blind search for these (my brain often needs a reminder before I remember I think something about something else lol)

I think canon Ahsoka is aromantic. She feels stronglytowards Lux and /tries/ to make that work but doesn’t really get it. She justknows that she cares a lot about him and isn’t that probably love? It’s alsowhy she gets catty with Steela, Ahsoka thinks she probably should be butrealizes that it’s kind of silly. Once she stops trying to act the way shethinks is expected, Ahsoka finds herself much more comfortable with them.

 Ahsoka feels awful that she was being purposefullystandoffish and weird with Steela, she feels like she wasted time that couldhave been spent with her friend. I think this is a bit of a wake up call momentfor Ahsoka in the war as well. That her friends can die at any moment, and sheshould make the most of being with them while she can.

 I think young Ahsoka had a sense of invincibility, which iswhat made her engage Grievous, go to the Citadel, and do many, many recklessthings. Post Order 66 I think Ahsoka has that falsehood torn away violently,which is why she becomes so much more cautious leading up to Raada.

 Ahsoka believes the ends justify the means. This mind set isdangerous and often leads her to act coldly or even cruelly. I think Ahsoka inthe Forces of Destiny short where she fought Ezra is a perfect example of this.That boy is traumatized, has trust issues, and doesn’t really know her. Ahsokayeets his crystal into the stars knows where and those strikes, whilecalculated, are still aimed to hurt or kill. Ezra looks panicked, and I thinkhe believes Ahsoka might actually hurt him to make a point. This all gets sweptunder the rug because he gets the lesson and they laugh. This was A TERRIBLETHING TO DO TO A CHILD, it was manipulative, a scare tactic, and possiblyabusive (not sure if there has to be any length before something is technicallyabuse). Ahsoka gets away with it and it’s framed as an ok thing, but it’s not.

 I think that Ahsoka gets a lot of passes for her shittybehavior in universe because she is skilled, competent, people who know her(see Bail post Order 66, but Anakin/Obi-Wan/Plo pre Order 66) know she hastrauma, and these same people know she meant well. It made her a brattypre-teen, and a show off as a teen. As an adult, this just fed into herfeelings that “she was doing what she must”.

 Ahsoka is deeply religious, and while no longer a Jedi shestill practices her faith. I think since leaving the Order her faith has gottenstronger but also narrowed. I don’t think she’s beyond listening to people andadjusting accordingly, but I think she uses her faith as a shield fromconsequences and as protection, and as something to have hope in. It’scomplicated and as I’m not religious I don’t think I can really explain in thebest way what I mean by this all.

Ahsoka doesn’t think she’s responsible for Anakin’s fall.She feels guilty because if she had noticed, maybe she could have prevented it.If she hadn’t, Ahsoka often feels like she could have stopped him somehow. Or atthe very least helped more Jedi escape the slaughter.

 Ahsoka is a near obligate carnivore. She doesn’t need to ONLYeat meat, and in fact having grown up in the upper rings of Coruscant she doesn’tlike or want raw or undercooked meat. Having grown up with the Jedi her dietwas healthy and balanced, and heavy on the veggies and fruits so Ahsoka eats evenless meat than the average person. This has done nothing to hinder the factthat Ahsoka /does/ enjoy hunting, or if she’s in dire straits Ahsoka will chokedown insects, raw/undercooked meat, etc.

 Ahsoka can fall asleep anywhere thanks to her time in theGAR, she can even sleep standing up. This would be much cooler if she didn’talso have nightmares and insomnia hindering her. She’s become more of a take anap here and there person instead of getting healthy sleep.

 Ahsoka cares/cared about the Clone Troopers. But she alsonever saw their production and use in the war as enslavement. Ahsoka came froma sheltered and privileged life (in many regards), I just don’t think she knewenough about the world to make those connections. Post Zygerria, maybe, but Idoubt it.

 I don’t think Ahsoka was particularly close to the clones ingeneral, nor they to her. I think she made strong bonds with some of theTroopers (clearly, I’m looking at you Rex and the rest of torrent, bluesquadron get over here), but despite how I wish she and the troopers were superclose…they weren’t. Between having a busy ass schedule, being naïve, and beinga bit bratty I don’t’ think Ahsoka made the effort she could have. And Trooperswould /never/ make the first move towards friendship. That was trained out ofthem.

 Ahsoka is a workaholic. I don’t think she knows what to dowhen she has down time, often using it to practice or talk to people. When she’solder this goes hand in hand with her terrible sleep. It’s part of what madeher such an important player to the Rebellion, Ahsoka works hard and fast anddoesn’t take time in between to rest. She just goes to a different part of thegalaxy to let the last area she was in cool off.

 I don’t think Ahsoka forgave Anakin, or ever will forgiveAnakin, for becoming Vader. Ahsoka is willing to reach out if she thinks there’sa snowball’s chance in hell, but Anakin proved that there wasn’t to her. Ithink ironically, while meeting on Malachor opened a chink in Vader’s armor thatLuke was able to fully capitalize on, I think it also built up the armor aroundAhsoka’s heart. So I don’t think a meeting with Anakin’s ghost would go well.At all. She takes betrayal VERY personally, for pretty good reason.

[gffa]

There’s sometimes a lot of assumptions about what the Jedi do/don’t allow because our own expectations get in our way all too often, but the truth is that it’s not really very clear.  We have some context to go off of, but ultimately we’re never actually told.  The Old EU was basically published fanfiction in a lot of ways, George himself said that that was never part of his Star Wars, Filoni talks about how it was made clear that stuff wasn’t canon, etc., so we really only have what was in the movies, the TV shows, and in interviews.  And some of that stuff is even going to be coming from unreliable narrators! Like, Anakin Skywalker is pretty clearly not necessarily a trustworthy source of information, because this is the guy who’s like, “Obi-Wan doesn’t trust me!” and Padme has to point out, he trusts you with his life every single day, you beautiful dumbass, he trusts you like really a lot!  What little we get about love comes in a conversation where Anakin is already explicitly trying to bend around the rules and justify what he wants (a thing Anakin does frequently throughout all of canon!) and so what’s the truth?  Anakin’s not a source we can wholly trust on this.  Nor can we trust Padme, because she doesn’t know anything about the Jedi, that’s clear in the scene, too.  And in ROTS, it’s unclear about why their marriage would get them both expelled–but I’m pretty sure at least part of it is that he’s a Jedi and she’s a Senator, meaning that she’s his boss, because the Jedi are under the jurisdiction of the Senate. In TCW, Obi-Wan says he would have left the Order for Satine, but it’s unclear whether he would have had to leave to be with her at all or if it was because he felt that he would not be able to remain able to do his duty if he tried to split himself like that.  Or because she was the Duchess of Mandalore and thus the politics (because the Jedi weren’t their own body of government) would have made it impossible. He also tells Anakin later that of course they’re allowed romantic feelings, but he needs to remain friends with Padme, but it’s unclear if this is a hard rule or because Anakin is going to absolute pieces over this.  He’s in a rage spiral that’s leading up to ROTS, he’s not handling this well, he’s brooding and snarling and lashing out.  He’s not handling it and that be entirely Obi-Wan’s point, that he’s become attached in how the Jedi define it. This contrasts with how, in the original ROTS screenplay (which made its way into the adaptations of ROTS as well, though, those are no longer canon) Obi-Wan did know about Anakin and Padme’s relationship, when shit’s going down, he asks her to help Anakin and indicates he’s known for awhile.  Is this because, as long as it’s kept in balance, as Obi-Wan possibly thinks Anakin has managed to get back to, it’s allowed?  Or is Obi-Wan bending the rules for Anakin, because he wants Anakin to be happy, regardless of how it’s crossed over the line from healthy and into attachment?  Both cases would make sense for the characters! “Attachment” is a word that gives us a lot of grief because we often want to define it one way, but all the times George talks about it, it’s in the context of possessive relationships, of being owed that person’s presence in your life.  When Pablo talked about it, he backed that up as well.  And attachment really seems to come down more to trying the concept of trying to hold onto something as you want it to be, rather than how it is, not in the sense of “having a connection with someone”, because otherwise Mace and Depa’s “continuing to have a strong bond”, for example, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  When Yoda talks to Anakin about attachment in ROTS, it’s because Anakin’s not there looking for reasonable help, he’s there to look for a way to stop death because he’s going to burn the galaxy down if he doesn’t.  That’s going way past a reasonable amount of worry about what’s going to happen and right straight on into, “Unable to accept what things actually are/that things may change without his permission.” So, that’s pretty much where we sit.  There’s no reliable in-universe person telling us the Jedi aren’t allowed romantic relationships so long as they keep their shit together, because every situation has context to go along with it that would just as easily support, “Decide if you can keep it in check because you have a duty as a Jedi that must come first.”  The reliable ones (like Depa Billaba, like Cyslin Myrr, like Mace Windu, etc.) tell us emotions are there, but must be kept under their control, rather than they themselves under the control of their emotions. The thing is, the Jedi are given a tremendous amount of power and legal authority.  Their connection to the Force gives them abilities that can very easily hurt others, based on their unbalanced emotions–we see what even just a partially trained Force-user acting out of fear can do, when Ezra makes the fyrnocks attack.  A trained one like Vader can just straight up blast even Ahsoka Tano right into unconsciousness just by feeling her out!  That’s a lot of power given to one person, add in that they’re given the authority by the Senate to help people across the galaxy?  People who fear them because they don’t understand them?  The Jedi understand that they have to keep their shit under control (not repressed, canon’s pretty explicit on the front of how several Jedi have said emotions are necessary, you just need to control them before they rule you) because otherwise they’re going to leave a lot of hurt people in their wake, all the more so when given the legal power they are.  If you have the authority to cut someone’s arm off with your lightsaber because the Force told you it was necessary?  You better make damn sure you’re not doing it out of unbalanced emotions. You put all that together and I think where we end up is this:  Jedi are allowed relationships, so long as they can maintain balance with them.  Probably not marriage (but, again, we don’t actually know) but relationships that don’t unhinge their focus and ability to be objective in a situation where they have power over other people?  Not celebrated, but allowed.  But Anakin Skywalker was never going to be able to do that.  He wanted love to consume him, he wanted it to be everything, he wanted it so much (and in the way he wanted it, not the way it was) he would burn down the galaxy for it.  That was never going to be allowed to a Jedi, because their position in the Republic would have been an abuse of the power they were granted and the abilities they wielded.

[sethnakht]

more than a little on the slow side today, so haven’t read any commentary yet. but here are some raw thoughts on vader #25.

Difficult to know where to start, as the issue was overlaid with symbols and yet also rather stolidly straightforward. Perhaps as a beginning: I was expecting Soule to play things straight and hoping to be gloriously wrong about it. He played things straight. 

My working theory going into the comic, written in response to @micelle in the middle of the night a few days ago:

I personally would not be surprised if that moment of projection on Padmé’s ship - you know, where Vader sees the mask engraved into Little Ani’s flesh in a reverse of Luke’s cave adventure, marking the start of a theme of this arc, the engraving of a mask onto various bodies - were the key to it all, that is, if what he’s after is the opportunity to kill himself (a reverse Momin so to speak). (or change himself. the comic has been so focused on his selfishness, on mirrors of the self - I could picture him strolling past nodes of past moments in the “world between worlds” and peering into the highlights of his wretched life as he decides whether to save Shmi, interfere with Padmé, prevent himself from leaving Tatooine, etc)

Some of this prediction played out - Vader does indeed stroll past moments in his own life, starting with pregnant!Shmi and himself as little Ani. You could argue too that the end result of it all is that he the part of him who still thinks of himself as an Anakin to be Saved is killed, for the present moment, in a reverse Momin of sorts. Things were a little more complex than I had imagined them, however. The plane upon which Vader finds himself resembles some combination of the subjective landscape of his own dark-side-fueled meditations and the objective landscape of Mustafar. As in his meditations, the sky is filled with lightning and he himself is a burning, burnt husk with dead white space where his cybernetic limbs complete him. As on Mustafar, he walks the ground, and where lava would be is the dark, roiling sea over which he floated in meditation; memories having to do with himself are presented in circles of lava, corresponding to his own burning state.

There seem to be two different possible modes of interaction with this world, objective and subjective. On the one hand, Vader walks past nodes that objectively reflect his own life back at him as would a film, much like what Ezra and Ahsoka encountered in the World Between Worlds; it is in such a lava-encased node that he foresees his own confrontation with Ahsoka (!!). Were he to interact with these nodes as Ezra considered doing with Kanan, then he could potentially change the past or the future. But Vader does not interact with these nodes, he simply walks past them. Nor does he seem to make much of the voices from his own past, from the future (Kylo!) echoing around him. Instead, he interacts with subjective projections of the people he loves - Shmi, the Jedi, Palpatine, Obi-Wan, Padmé. I say subjective projections, as these are all people who matter to him and all people who play into his self-narrative, and thus also mirrors of the self to a degree, but suspect the status of these projections is about as complex as the vision Luke has in the Dagobah cave: what Vader sees is what he brings with him, but also what the Dark Side would have him see. Thus, he sees Shmi with Palpatine behind her as though to suggest that his origins are in the Dark Side, that he has always been “unnatural” and destined to serve. (This is also what Momin’s pretty speeches would imply, that this plane is a place controlled by the Dark Side; this is partly what I mean by Soule playing things straight.)

There’s a way in which I got what I wanted - Vader doesn’t - can’t, of course - consider changing the actual past, but he does interact with his own past in a very revealing manner. That is, he doesn’t hesitate to kill the Jedi again (no Younglings, however!), presumably because he thinks they are keeping him from Padmé (standing atop the tower that transforms before his eyes from his newly constructed Sith tower into the Jedi temple). He also doesn’t lift a finger to prevent Palpatine from killing Obi-Wan (which is possibly the most !! moment of this entire sequence for me - does he not want to fight Obi-Wan himself, or think he isn’t strong enough? is this the lesson he thinks he has learned, is this the way he wishes things had gone ...?). In a departure from the past that speaks hugely to the mistakes he thinks he made, he then turns on Palpatine instead of choosing to kneel and serve as he had, shooting Palpatine down with lightning, killing his father figure with the very method Palpatine will eventually use to try and kill his son (and successfully uses to kill Vader). By the time Vader reaches the top of the tower, he seems to have recovered a positive sense of self again. Everything has gone right, just as he imagined it, it would seem, and it is as Anakin Skywalker that he speaks to Padmé with words later echoed by Luke - “come with me”. But does he want to save them both, or just himself? Padmé, for her part, seems to be nothing more than a reflection of his own self, than a reflection of what he chose instead of her - she quotes his own words back to him, chokes herself as he had once choked her, and then is rendered apart by (red, suggesting a dark side vision?) lightning in yet another foreshadowing of Vader’s eventual death. “Not again!” he says, in what has to be the funniest line of this comic. In other words, I don’t think for a moment that we actually saw Padmé here, not in the way that we see Luke, who shows up next in a massive blue column of light. Luke seems to spring from a source outside of the self - his appearance brings light back into the empty, desolate landscape that Vader had emptied of all light from within, and it’s an unanticipated appearance, too powerful for Vader to control, driving Vader back into his body, into the prone position he assumed the last time he was struck by lightning to foreshadow his own death in this comic (#18).

So, for all that Vader hasn’t learned all that much from his own history, he was, apparently, after salvation - through Padmé, with Padmé, if only with a Padmé who reflected his narrative in a way that all previous subjective projections had. (Possibly that desire for salvation also allows for the light to enter his mental picture, even to overwhelm him or the Dark underpinnings of the vision in the very end.) He never considers doing anything with the nodes of the past - he stays fixated on what is incarnated before him. Which is of a piece of him, and his self-centeredness in this comic from the very beginning. The message might thus be interpreted as: Anakin chose himself, chose one path, and despite regrets he would make essentially the same choice all over again, and that choice leaves him on the one hand miserable and lonely and empty and blinded and on the other also creates the crack that will eventually motivate his self-sacrifice for Luke.

It’s all very consistent ... perhaps a bit too consistent for me, as someone who flirts constantly with depression and takes particular enjoyment in subversive fiction. One of the things this comic has consistently done is treat Vader as though his physical condition were of secondary importance, placing the stress instead on his continued and persistent character features, on his meditative sessions, on his presence in the Force; this finale was very much in that vein, spirit over body. Camuncoli and his team have produced incredible visuals to bring that mental landscape to life; I’ve really enjoyed seeing how much they’ve been able to make of basic elemental symbols, of empty plains and dark oceans. And there is something to be said for this mind-over-body philosophy, as Vader himself might well think that this is what the Dark Side has finally allowed him to accomplish - though it’s rather at odds with Vader seeking out Padmé and engaging all of his attachments.

It’s hard to bring out certain paradoxes in his self-understanding without considering the body, let’s put it that way. I suppose what I’m saying is that I’ll always feel there was an opportunity missed. Vader watching Padmé throw herself to her death, then start choking herself, thereby transforming into a corpse in front of his eyes, only to become incinerated by lightning - well, I mean, it’s a fantastic image. I do like that you could read her “suicide” as a rejection of him and his choices, even as you can also read it as a sign from the Dark Side. Like ... I like it, don’t get me wrong. Compare his passive spectatorship to the kill-switch moment in the 2015 run, however, to that brain-addled, deranged, yet horrifyingly logical mental slaughterfest where he kills himself, Obi-Wan, and Padmé to regain agency over his own body, and ... I find it hard not to prefer the messiness of that to the rather clean symbolism in Soule.

Anyway, as a tie-in connecting the PT with Rebels, this comic certainly offers context for understanding where he is mentally. As a take on how Vader becomes Vader, who is never just his mind to me, but a mind trapped in a machine, it satisfied me less. 

Am I glad I read it? A thousand times yes, because of the conversations it has generated here. Boundless thanks especially to @glompcat, @gffa, @thewillowbends, @micelle, @songofthestars and @sith-shame-shack for the immeasurable pleasure of your company along this readerly journey - it’s been an education - and a joy - I shall not long forget. 😍

[kianraidelcam]

Written for @earthboundjedi from the prompt: “We’ll see each other again. I promise,” featuring Space Mom and Space Dad, AKA Hera and Kanan!

Oh the sweet agony that is Kanera. Thank you for the wonderful prompt! The rest of the fic is below the cut for those who don’t want to go on AO3 for any reason.

“We’ll see each other again. I promise.”

It was ironic, Hera thought, his diction at the time. The pastel sunset of Atollon glimmered behind them, pulsing with Kanan’s words, as he drew her into his embrace. She fought against a rising desire to respond with some form of snark, her anxiety over his impending departure outweighing the need for levity, and simply leaned into his arms. Ignoring the sense of doom at his promise, Hera smiled and allowed the small wave of comfort to wash over her. The young Twi’lek woman responded with a thought, “I know.”

A promise was a promise, and she knew Kanan never broke his.

So, when her Jedi returned, leaning on their boy with the painfully white bandage around his eyes, it was more than the injury that shocked Hera. He promised, she thought to herself over and over again, night after night, as he drifted out of her orbit and away from their mismatched family. And then came the (rather expensive) medical droid loaned to them by Senator Organa when he heard what had occured on Malachor. No expense was spared, and only the best was sent from Alderaan. After all, Kanan was quite possibly the last rebel-sympathetic Force user after Ahsoka’s death, and Bail Organa was almost as determined to restore the Knight’s sight as the Ghost crew was. It was the most hopeful they had been all week.

Their hope, it seemed, was misplaced. 

Kanan was not a candidate for prosthetics nor would his vision return, was the droid’s final word. “That can’t be right, run the tests again,” she had nearly shouted in that small, bleached room aboard the Alderaanian frigate. She got up from her seat in a rare flash of anger and frustration, normally reserved for certain “servants” of the Empire (and a certain smuggler by the name of Lando), but a gentle hand on her arm stopped her in her mid-rise. “I promised, didn’t I?” His cocksure voice had returned, as did that Force forsaken grin of his, if only momentarily. For a moment, he seemed completely himself, with a hint of that fabled Jedi calm, and all felt right in the universe again. Kanan was her rock; he was always steadfast and always knew what to do, even when things seemed bleak. The least Hera could do was be strong for him. Hera took a breath to compose herself, and then smiled for more her own benefit than Kanan’s. “I know.”

Kanan grinned and then donned a more serious expression, turning his body to face the droid while listening intently to its directions for wound care. Hera drowned out the droid’s ramblings, and instead studied the injury itself. The burn itself was still in the early stages of healing and the angry red stood out in stark contrast to his tanned skin. His once vibrant turquoise eyes were pale with hardly a hint of color while the whites of his eyes seemed bloodshot from both the burn and exhaustion. Hera knew that the exhaustion was more mental than it was physical, and as the droid went on, she saw the frustration return. Oh, he hid it well enough, to the point where Hera doubted the rest of the crew would see it, but she saw right through Kanan.

Kanan Jarrus was afraid.

Time passed on the harsh world that housed Chopper Base, but he slowly came back to her. Small treasured moments at first, until he returned from outside the base, his sensor protecting him from the spiders gone. She had been worried, of course, but it instantly left when she saw how he walked. His gait lacked the hesitant steps it had been after his blinding, and when he smiled, it was with a confidence he previously lacked. His hand held slightly in front of him, as if feeling the environment around him, she was suddenly reminded of what he truly was. A Jedi Knight whose trust and power was in the Force. It was Specter One that held the crew together, and with his return to them, their family fell back in place. It was funny, he later told her before she fell asleep in his arms while he traced the patterns on her lekku from memory, how his blindness made it possible for him to truly see.

Of course, that meant he could return to missions again.

“I need you to come back,” she had said.

The moment he smiled, Hera had to stop from groaning. While it was good (more than good, it was fantastic) that he was back out in the galaxy (had been for some time, actually), she still worried deeply for him. It didn’t help that he was so kriffing arrogant. “Oh, having trouble overthrowing the Empire without me?”

Hera might not have groaned, but she did roll her eyes. Luckily, he couldn’t see it, though she was sure he could sense it in some way. “Our team is an important asset to the Rebellion?” Hera’s tone implied a question, which he of course refused to answer.

“An asset? Is that what we are?” Kanan’s own tone implied he wasn’t talking about the Ghost crew.

“You know what I mean.”

“You know how I feel.”

Hera doesn’t skip a beat, unsure this should be discussed at this exact moment. “Are we still talking about the mission?”

Kanan leans forward, his hands on his hips, “That depends…”

Unconsciously leaning forward to the hologram as well, Hera replies. “On what?”

“You know.”

Chopper’s response sounds suspiciously like an obscene suggestion rather than actual advice. Hera glances down at her droid’s hologram with a sigh, and then back at Kanan, her arms crossed nervously across her chest, “Be careful…. See you soon.”

As she shuts off the comlink, she feels a sweet, tender brush against her mind. There are no words exchanged, although there was no need for them here. This reassurance needed no words, no playful, snide comments. The meaning rang clear, in both their minds, from both the Jedi and his Force.

“I promised.”

It is only when they return to Lothal that Kanan seemed unsure of his promise. He had been up late the night before their return to the planet, meditating on some dream or nightmare he refused to tell her about. He dreamed in color, she knew as much, but what he saw eluded her. When she asked him about it, after waking him from his fitful sleep, he simply waved her off, saying something about a vision and the Force working in mysterious ways. Force be damned, after all of this, she was going to “force” some answers from him. She is tempted to do it in that dark alleyway, hiding from stormtroopers, until he lightens the mood with a soft quip. “Heh, I just realized. It’s been awhile since we've spent some time alone.”

Hera’s tone is almost resigned, “And when we do, it’s in situations like this.” Such is the plight of a rebel, she thinks. It was tragic almost, that their “moments” where few and far in between.

Kanan doesn’t instantly respond, which rings alarms in Hera’s mind. His face crestfallen, he admits with a sigh, “I wish..I could see you.”

Gently, emanating soft reassurances of her own, Hera reaches up to grab his dark visors, revealing watery, sorrowful eyes, maimed by a vengeful menace. Hera’s eyes are different. If Kanan could see them, he would be lost in their viridescent depths, as they conveyed the pride and admiration she felt for the Jedi less than half a foot away.

“You could always see me.”

It was true, Hera knew. From their meeting on Gorse to their current predicament, Kanan could always see her in a way no one else could. It was him who knew how to calm her in her angriest moments. It was him who knew how to quiet the nightmares. It was him who had always been able to read her every emotion. It was him, who knew her better than her own father did. It had always been him. Even now, it was still him who could see her. Both mentally, and physically. It was not the horrible, if beautiful, oranges, purples, and reds the exploding fuel produced that drew her horrified eyes, nor was it the golden cracks appearing in the metal beneath his feet that called her attention. She hardly even recognized she was a foot of the pod, reaching and straining against some invisible force at his command, and she barely noticed when she was thrown back into the ship, into Ezra’s shaking arms.

It was his turquoise eyes, shining against the dark scar across his face, full of determination and peace, that she saw.

They enveloped her, though they did not give her the peace that floated in their depths. The fire came closer to him, and yet, it seemed time had frozen over. She knew what the return of his eyesight meant, beyond the shadow of a doubt, even as they closed one final time while his hands pushed their ship out of the blast range.

“We’ll see each other again.”

‘I promise”

And Kanan never broke his promises