#nope. i need that for my anxiety | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asketchydomesticatedgremlin · 4 months ago

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spire climbers

#slay the spire #sts #the silent #the ironclad #the defect #slay the spire ironclad #slay the spire silent #slay the spire defect #sorry watcher you can pop in later #also totally not projecting some character traits onto defect nope not me noooo #im so sorry silent the voices prefer the armored guy and the skrunkly robot #also was gonna draw defect working on repairs in the background to explain why no cloak #silent and defect are resting while ironclad is smithing #whiiiiiiiile hes got the lowest HP of the group atm #truely a self care icon #also defect my beloved #i am sorry but not really for projecting the need to save everyone onto you #a different blue robot recently had their story finally ended so i have to cope #so now you have to deal with crippling anxiety over what you did in the past!#:D #art #original art #sketchy comic

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beefcake-penguin · 20 days ago

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#people just do NOT know how to be FANS of media anymore. they don't know how to interact with each other or with the text without anger#fandom is supposed to be FUN#it's supposed to be fun to speculate and headcanon and write fanfic and draw and go a little bit feral for your faves

This!! It's okay to just enjoy things! It's ok to walk away from media you're not enjoying!!

10/10 tags, my friend 💪🐧❤️

Thank you, broski! It drives me kind of beefsane (beefcake insane) when I bop along online to see how a community is enjoying a show or movie or game that I'm also enjoying and the fandom is just:

"OUTRAGE!"

"ANGER!"

"UGH!!! THOSE BASTARDS ARE 'QUEERBAITING' US!"

"IF YOU LIKE THIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO KILLED SOMEONE IN A WORK OF FICTION, YOU MUST BE A MURDER-APOLOGIST!"

"WAIT, WHY DID THOSE BASTARDS STOP 'QUEERBAITING' US?!"

"THOSE CHARACTERS SHARED A SCENE AND A STEAMY LOOK! LET'S HARASS THEIR REAL-LIFE ACTORS/ACTRESSES!"

And I just sort of immediately go: "💪🏽😐... hmmm... I just came here to have fun... 💪🏽😔" *leaves in beeffeat (beefcake defeat)*

Which is why I'm so grateful to people like you and so many of the other moots (my beloveds 🐧❤🐧) that I've made here. I deleted my old ancient tumblr from the Before Times(tm) due to how stressed it made me and just the fact that my life at the time was already full of things causing me stress and making me have panic attacks and anxiety attacks on an almost weekly basis. Being unable to even come to my own blog without being stressed about what imaginary slight someone might accuse me of in my askbox really just took the wind out of my beefy sails... but I'm so glad I came back to this site with the goal to much more carefully curate my experience, because it really is so nice to be able to be a little insane about mutual blorbos and occasionally subject your poor unbeefspecting (beefcake unsuspecting) mutuals to one of your out-of-left-field hyper-fixations, too.

Which is just my long-beefded (beefcake long-winded) way of saying: people like you and my other be(ef)loved mutuals are what makes fandom communities great, my friend. 💪🏽🐧❤

Penguin-hug for you:

#thanks for the ask!#moots my beloveds 🐧❤🐧#asks my beloveds 🐧❤🐧#asks from moots my beloveds 🐧❤🐧#really was like a cheat-code when i figured out i could just... NOT beefspond (beefcake respond) to negativity and rage-bait #and - as someone with pretty severe anxiety - i really had to train myself out of like... the NEED for myself to be understood #“but if you don't respond to this... they'll think they won the argument! they'll misunderstand and misinterpret you!”#and i've grown completely comfortable with just saying “okay. that's fine 💪🏽😐” and just moving on #i HIGHLY beefcommed (beefcake recommend) just flexing beefishly with a calmly neutral expression instead of engaging in discourse #“but aren't you OUTRAGED about-!”#“nope 💪🏽😐”#“but don't you UNDERSTAND that it's PROBLEMATIC to-!”#“💪🏽😐”#“but that means YOU must be an APOLOGIST for-!”#“💪🏽😐...💪🏽😐”

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 5 months ago

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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it

#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true #but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this #but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often #so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME #BUT I REPRESSED IT #and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes #also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to #and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF #WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME #actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it #bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me #anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories #or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho #which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety — nope!! okiedoke moving on #k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now #*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time #(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)

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gentil-minou · 1 year ago

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i've written 36k for this fic but my brain has reached the point where it keeps telling me im a sucky writer and should just quit and ahhh i need the anxiety to shut up and just let me have fun and not have imposter syndrome

#im actually really self conscious about my writing like even if i do think im good if i say anything more the anxiety is like nope :)#and it all comes from mean kids in high school not liking m short story about an alien getting adopted #which like yeah sounds dumb but i LIKED IT #anyways write for yourself yes but what do i do when im my own worse critic and it keeps telling me to quit #i dont think im going to but im afraid that what happened to me in the ml fandom is gonna happen again and ill get burnt out by #my own stupid high standards and expectations for myself #anyways #i need to eat #maybe im just hangry #maybe i do need a break and i think i will take one once i finish chapter 3 and since im going camping this weekend #but i want to post chapter 2 before i go so we shall see #bushy rants

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year ago

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I've come to the conclusion that I need weed and alcohol probably

#two substances that i basically never consume #but i need something to help with my anxiety like immediately #because it has been making me suicidal for a loooong time 👍#but nope the only substance i consume regularly is caffeine. one of the most common drugs known to make anxiety WORSE #im just cool like that (im self medicating me adhd)#i wonder what happens when i get on meds for both the adhd and the anxiety #do they battle? do they cancel each other out like pemdas?

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aimarann · 4 months ago

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I want my gf to come back home I can't sleep without her and I'm so tired I'm gonna cry

#5:05 in the morning #I'm gonna die (false)#she said she would be here at 3:45 but she's still with her friends #it's my fault I shouldn't base my habits around her but it's hard not to #I've been tossing and turning for hours now I just can't find sleep #tbh I don't even know if I want to sleep beside her tonight (today) now #I'm a bit tired of her saying she'll be home at a certain time and then pushing and pushing #because while it's not a problem that she has a life well...#I need some semblance of a schedule (not strict or anything but some semblance)#to be able to know when to eat sleep or do things like my online classes or housework #not being sure of anything is really messing with my anxiety at the moment #I talked about it with my gf and she said she would try to at least keep on the loop more #wich I'm grateful for #it's just that today was a bad day and I want cuddles but my lover is with her friends wich is good for her but I'm alone in my bed #and I won't be able to see my mom tomorrow because I'll need to sleep #and even though I see her once every two weeks I kinda want to see her #because I love my mom and I know she is so exhausted by my brothers and my father #being the breadwinner and all #and I want to see her and have her relax and see her 'daughter'#but nope sleep #fuck I'm so tired I didn't think I'd cry #I think the being late is like #the only thing that's hard to deal with in our relationship #because we love each other and everything is working so well but there is this #and idk it hurts me a little bit #words are important to me and keeping to your words is a must

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kat-ryn · 4 months ago

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Anxiety!

#woke up at 5 tried to go back to sleep been tossing and turning since #god I wish I had pills for anxiety but fuck it we rawdog life no meds #I’d be less anxious if the train was running from my town today but nope gotta drive to a different station because life is like hmm should #we make it easy for Kat today hmm 🙂‍↔️ no we shall not run the trains she needs to take 😝

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a-very-fond-farewell · 6 months ago

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:I

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running-in-the-dark · 10 months ago

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and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.

#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point #is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice #and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd #because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh #will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that #but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff #either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having #to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I #don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it #because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca #and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and #it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting #and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop #I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and #doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're #better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough #I'm tired of it #and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the #guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that #have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it

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technodromes · 8 months ago

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@dynamoprotocol / meme bubble beam — what’s a fond memory your muse has from their childhood? (Shredder)

// Shredder cherished the days he went to harvest peaches with Nagi from the trees on their rural estate. Because Nagi was prepared to become the leader of the Foot and the heir of the Oroku family one day, the days the brothers could spend together in a more lighthearted manner were only very few.

They would indulge in sibling mischief whenever they had to help out on the fields in general, regardless of the scoldings afterward. To laze around together while saving the best peaches for themselves, or rather hunting bugs and fish when they were supposed to help in the rice fields as punishment.

These days would become more rare as time went on, though.

#Headcanons: Shredder #Answered #dynamoprotocol #(I did try to write something longer. Something nice and specific. But my brain constantly noped out on me and this is so old by now...)#(I STILL can't help but feel like the expectations people have of Shredder and my writing of him is higher = loads more of anxiety)#(But I do appreciate the messages and prodding I get for and about him tho. I just need to shake that fricking anxiety someday...)

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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago

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The strategic mental twists and turns I did today to avoid making a phonecall were outstanding. I'm exhausted tho

#between the anxiety. the autism and the voice dysphoria phonecalls are my worst nightmare #and making a phoncall in a different language to someone I don't know and never talked to?! nope #managed to avoid it but i need a 10h nap now lol #angel talks #personal

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marsuni · 8 months ago

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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot

#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated #I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated #Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE #OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY #BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT #SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE #I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight #Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year #:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively #Every interaction with other meds every side effect #You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health #ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST #chronic illness #medicine #Medication #Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you #I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode #But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox #For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better #Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run #Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer #Like me

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xannerz · 10 months ago

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i should have taken a sick day yday i got no work done lmao

#i cant rly today bc a lot of the items that i should have done yesterday really need to get done by eod #i have this bad habit of avoiding sick days as much as possible #and it ends up biting me in the ass #we have unlimited pto and my teammates call out sick as regularly as one would (ig)#but its my stupid paranoia like oh nope nope i cant you'll be put on a PIP(???Lmao??)#like i already took more vacation time than ever last year it's a bad look to take SICK days off!! 🤡#doesnt help that im having those anxiety/stress-induced heart palps so im like. idk. extra fatigued & spacey lmao #and my mom's having another health scare on top of moving towards a couple surgeries so its like ?? like???/#xangoeswah

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shatar-aethelwynn · 2 years ago

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acquaintance from a church: please give this church one more chance! it's the same pastor we all love!

me: ...the pastor is one of the reasons I left, so that'll be a no from me :)

#gee Id LOVE to go back to the place where I was told introverts dont exists #'if you dont pray in tongues god thinks yoir prayers are boring'#one of the elders told me I can never trust any academic to tell the truth #the pastor regularly criticismes lgbt people and my ace self is supposed to be ok with that (ha! nope)#they said we should all strive to 'use our gifts' but my gift of teaching meant 'would you like to teach children?' i dont like children #i left every single service feeling like someone was screaming 'you dont derseve to be loved' inside my head #the communication between groups is a joke #the pastor kept harping about it being the end times...that thing that induces anxiety because I probably have traume related to it now #my need to ask questions and ask why was constantly frowned on #and everything I learned outside the church means nothing because I dont have a bible degree or some bs so Im always the one who's wrong #and this guy wants me to 'give them another chance'? fuck. no.#Im annoyed now.

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newwave-lesbian · 1 year ago

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guys i think i might be able to get my old job back yayyyy that means money but also i am going to throw up and pass out and cry every day but that's normal

#i am going to buy so much weed guys #and new clothes and new stuff for my room #yaaayyyy #but im just crossing my fingers that i can get the job again #boy do i need an income #but 8 to 5 really really sucks hahahahhaha rip me #but then i can draw at work or something #like as much as i hate it i'm mostly able to do other things #cuz it's boring as shit otherwise.#but also very anxiety provoking because idk how to react to anyone and everyone scares me #so i just try to dodge all social situations #lol i am just a phone operator. i should be able to be replaced by a robot #but nope #i do a robot job but then sometimes people over the phone are FREAKS #but luckily it's easy most times and pays alright so whatever. it will make me want to kms perhaps but thats normal #anyways if you're reading this whats up guys #i am in bed listing to prefab sprout on this fine night #yaayyyy

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totallynotanthony · 2 years ago

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You guys aren't going to believe this but I'm starting to think the school system is abelist :o /j /sar

#I have an cert exams in spring(when in spring? Who knows-thry won't tell me) amd I'm trying to be able to take it away from people because #that helps my nerves a lot. Apparently I can't just a get a note from the counselor saying ''This twit has anxiety-let them take the test #alone please.'' Nope! That would be to easy >:(#Instead I have to go through all these hoops and talk to the scheduleing person who I never want to talk to again to make a specific 'plan'#Not to mention this stupid attendence plan my school has started that basically says if you have 9 absences in a class you might need to go #to Saturday school or repeat the credit #Sorry I'm just frustrated #anthony talks

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