#none of this modernized present day nonsense

[lakemojave]

Mojave reads X-Men: X-Men #1, X-Men #2, and Tales of Suspense #49

That's right gang, I'm finally sitting down and reading some comics. Now I've attempted to read a manga or two in my life, I've read some tintin comics in the library as a little kid, I've read an Alan Moore graphic novel in my day, but never have I actually read a serialized, long running comic series like this. I have very limited vocabulary for talking about comic books, and my experience with superhero media is pretty much limited to movies and shows. I have never read or critiqued a comic book of any kind.

Now I should say that even though I don't really give a shit or fuck about superheros, I do have a favorite superhero, and it's none of the X-Men. I do have a place in my heart for the caped crusader, so why am I not reading every single batman comic ever written? Well you see, the reason is simple. If I read a batman comic, even if it's a bad one, I will be distracted by how much i already like batman. I will probably learn a thing or two about batman, but I won't really be properly immersed in the comic-reading experience if i start with somebody I already enjoy.

So I'm excited for this! I'm basically going in blind, except for some passing knowledge about the over-arching themes of these characters and season one of X-Men '97 (a fantastic show that you all gotta watch). Now I know some reading guides online will recommend that you skip some stuff, but I wanna challenge myself to do a completionist review of this whole series. For an artistic medium that I don't know shit or fuck about, this may be a long commitment, but this is gonna be a fun way to do it.

If you wanna follow along with me, I'll be basing my order based on the reading guide from this website here:

Now for the review!

X-Men #1

This one is really fucking stupid.

In this first issue, we meet our X-Men and learn their powers through a goofy ass training scene, Jean Grey arrives, then they defend a military base from Magneto, and that's about it. It doesn't do enough to establish what exactly a mutant is, but it does establish the X academy as a safe haven for mutants where they can learn to be superheros, and how Magneto wants mutants to rule the world. There isn't much nuance here yet, but these motivations will echo down throughout the entire X-Men saga.

The designs here are particularly undercooked compared to the more modern iterations, but I do like that Professor X has always been a bald dude stuck in a chair. Magneto's imperious personality is established here as well, but the X-Men themselves are mostly just rough sketches of the idea of people. We're not gonna get into the family drama soap opera nonsense for a little while I think.

(Also my favorite part of this panel is how you can't tell cyclops has a visor and it looks like it's just a guy. With two eyes. Which is, by definition, not a cyclops.)

I also adore how whimsical this first issue is. The fighting is very cartoonish and everyone says what they're thinking out loud. I dunno if that's just how comics tend to be or if this is a product of the age, but I actually find it really endearing! I have a fondness for this era of comics where you could pick up a batman off the shelves and see a panel of him shooting and killing his enemies with a mosin nagant, or that infamous panel of superman melting a dagger with his heat vision and slurping up the molten metal.

Also, poor Jack Kirby. You can tell by the homogenous designs and Magneto's crooked ass eyeballs that he was very overworked in this period. The superhero team composition here is definitely less creative than the Fantastic Four for instance, which was running at the same time and will crossover with our reading list a few times.

Though my favorite panels from this issue are right here:

I'm sorry if the difference in time between your two panels is "Exactly fifteen seconds" then you don't need a text box explaining it.

Either way, while this first one isn't very good, I was really entertained. I'm really looking forward to immersing myself in this period of the art form and learning a thing or two about this franchise!

X-Men #2

That's right baby. We're gonna be in stupid town for a few weeks.

In this issue, a new evil mutant attempts to take on the X-Men and realize his loosely sketched evil plan for world domination and such. This guy, The Vanisher, has teleportation powers so fast that none of them can lay a finger on him. With his X-Men's reputation on the line, Professor X himself has to step in and use his psychic powers to vanquish The Vanisher and his army of goons on the White House lawn.

We learn a lot of new things about the X-Men in this issue; one, that Charles is a snitch for the FBI; two, sometimes the X-Men will just randomly start fighting each other almost completely unprompted.

Oh yeah also they call Jean Grey "Marvel Girl" in this run. I don't know why, ya just gotta deal with it.

The Vanisher basically has Goku instant transmission, allowing him to teleport literally anywhere he wants in an instant. In his master plan to steal US Army secrets and rule over humanity, a bunch of random low level goons just start worshiping him cause he's just that awesome. Like they're not even getting anything out of serving him, they just love this freak.

God could you imagine the alternate timeline where The Vanisher is the X-Men's arch enemy instead of Magneto? I think I would've canceled this series early if that happened.

Needless to say, this one is also insane. Like whenever the X-Men need to go anywhere, they rely on the goofiest modes of flying transportation that I've ever seen.

This one is also pretty dumb, but I can't say I had a bad time reading this one too! I think the first one was more interesting, seeing the prototype for such an all time comic villain, but this fight against the Vanisher is just a straight forward good time.

Tales of Suspense #49

Here we have our first ever crossover! In this comic, Angel accidentally gets nuked by Iron Man during a weapons test. The radiation makes him turn evil. Iron Man has to stop him.

This is the goofy bullshit I crave. There is no explanation for why any of this happens. Angel suddenly swears his life against all crime fighters and tries to make friends with the evil mutants. Iron Man talks completely different than I'm used to in this modern MCU era (plus his identity actually is secret!) Although the other X-Men do show up in this one, It is so strange to me that the first X-Man to make it into another series is one of the most forgotten characters of them all.

Oh man they just. They just don't make em like this anymore.

I do like that the X-Men as characters are starting to settle into their personalities. Angel's the boyscout, (normally,) Iceman is a little shit, Beast is a funnyguy, and Jean is a woman. Cyclops is still a little undercooked, but in terms of actual art I think I like how he looks in this style better than anybody. It helps that the art is getting ever so slightly better issue by issue.

But I also love that there's like. No backgrounds. It's crazy that in these early comics they just frame characters in a blank, colored void. I have no idea where these guys are right now.

The writing is still hilarious. Like everyone in these comics just says whatever they're thinking out loud. If these comics weren't written for little kids I'd make a big stink about it, but I just find this so endearing.

Eventually Iron Man does the thing where his power runs out and he falls to the earth in the middle of the fight, then Angel comes back to his senses, possessed by the instinct to save him. As he flies away, good ol' Anthony Edward Stark gets a call from Professor X saying that some day he hopes that the Avengers and the X-Men will one day fight alongside each other...as allies! And from this day forward, they'll never fight again!

Um. Ignore that.

See y'all with more soon!

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes Special Edition—Twilight Would Be Soooo Different If Meyer Were Not A Mormon

In which a rogue TikTok lists some of the ways Twilight would be different if it weren’t written by Meyer the Mormon, thus attracting all the clowns to this sorry excuse of a yard. Thank you @car-lizzzle for bringing this mess to my attention. Clown meat’s back on the menu, girls! Om nom nom nom

Bella, Meyer’s supposed self-insert, is literally horrified at the idea of marrying at 18. So much so that Edward had to beg, plead, and bargain for her to accept it. She also didn’t care about waiting until marriage to want to sleep with Edward.

So why did Bella and Edward marry so early? In short, genre conventions. Twilight is a romance first and foremost, and in that genre marriage is typically 1) proof of the couple’s love and commitment towards each other and/or 2) the consummation of the couple after they have overcome all obstacles.

Of course Bella has Mormon purity culture written all over her! Wanting to have sex with Edward outside of marriage, for one thing. Longing for spaghetti straps and shorts. Liking Linkin Park. Not being religious and being indifferent to the question of a divinity. Just Mormon things.

Also, Bella was still very much in love with Edward in NM. She did not even consider Jacob to be a love interest until Eclipse. At best, she thought she would let him kiss her just to make him happy. But it would not have gotten to the point where she would have slept with him. Absolutely not.

If Meyer were indeed pro-life and made Rosalie pro-life, then why didn’t she make Carlisle, Edward, and Alice pro-life as well? At the very least, her very Christian Edward would have struggled between his religious convictions and his canonical obsession with Bella’s safety.

As it is, Edward does not hesitate even once in wanting an abortion for Bella, and neither do Carlisle and Alice. Emmett only backs Rosalie because she is his mate, and Jasper backs Alice for the same reason.

Also, only Rosalie is bitter that she can’t have kids. Leah is bitter because Sam chose Emily and left her. She is worried of the mere possibility that she might be infertile.

A 19th century farm boy born and raised in Houston, Texas, a Union soldier? It’s less likely than you think.

The whole point of Jasper’s story is that he learned to turn away from endless fighting and two wars (the Civil War and the vampiric one) and embraced a life of peace. It would make no sense for Jasper to have always been fighting on the right side of history, only to regret it (!!) and then turn away from that lifestyle.

Bella is a parentified teen, not an old soul. Except for her bookish favorites, her worldview and expectations are modern.

Also, vintage clothes are expensive as all fuck. Thrift stores are not as common or as easily accessible as big box stores. Bella is working class/low-income, living in that car sprawl hell that is Phoenix, AZ. She wouldn’t have been able to afford such clothes even if she wanted to. Nor does she have any older relatives who would give her their old clothing.

Bella’s parentification is not uniquely Mormon. There are families with a wide variety of faiths (or none whatsoever) with that same dynamic. It’s a dynamic that is present in many different cultures.

Not the goddamn khaki skirt nonsense again.

Khaki skirts were a thing in the 2000s. Hell, I even had a khaki skirt once upon a time in my elementary years. Dark days indeed. It’s not Meyer imposing her fashion choices, but her reflecting the fashion of the time.

Even Clown OP can only list like two characters. 🤣 It’s a play, it’s a tragicomedy.

Anyhoo, Tyler was not black. Laurent wasn’t, either. Movie canon is not and never will be canon.

Charlie’s a cop, a demographic notorious for domestic violence. Charlie may be a good egg, relatively speaking, but he’s still proudly from a small conservative (and obviously majority white) town. Of course he’ll have sexist hang-ups. Excluding matriarchal tribes, there is no society that doesn’t have permissive sexist attitudes towards male sexual aggression.

Yeah, it’s not as if Meyer created him or anything. Clown OP, what are you on?

Tell me you don’t know how parentification works without telling me you don’t know how parentification works.

We may all love to hate Renée, but at the end of the day, her narcissism is mild compared to more hostile forms. Narcissism is a spectrum, and Renée is at the lower end of it. Still bad, but not overt enough for Bella to realize what’s going on. Bella was a child, after all, and children tend to accept the reality of their situation. Of course she wouldn’t hate her mother. It takes a long time for most victims to come to terms with such an upbringing.

Because non-Mormon authors of YA paranormal romance would have definitely written a queer romance in the 2000s. Hell, the romance genre is still heteronormative. Things have much improved on that front, but only very recently.

Tell me you don’t know how romance works without telling me you don’t know how romance works.

The romance plot is an obstacle plot. When there are no more obstacles to overcome, the romance ends with the couple getting together—or failing to do so. Since Meyer agreed to extend her duology, Bella and Edward had to fuck in the fourth book.

Me: *stares in former teenager who never went to parties or drank alcohol outside of family gatherings*

We’re here, we exist, and fuck you too. As for Twilight, Bella was raised by a cop and a kindergarten teacher. She spent most of her childhood taking care of her mother, cooking, cleaning, and paying the bills. That doesn’t leave time or space for doing dumb teen shit. If there is an accident, that would have been an expense Renée would not have been able to afford.

Bella then moves to Forks, which is even more conservative and less ethnically/culturally diverse than Phoenix. Charlie mentions the trouble some teens get up to, but it’s clearly not anyone Bella would associate with. The likes of Mike and Jessica (clearly upper middle class teens) don’t do juvenile delinquency. And Bella does do typically reckless teenage stuff in her deep depression.

[pb-dot]

Film Friday Spooksmas Special: Nosferatu

A local arthaus cinema had an early showing of Robert Eggers' Nosferatu. I have a mixed relationship with Eggers (more on that later) but I did think the trailer looked enticing and that the decision to really hold back on how much they showed of the (presumably) ugly bastard was a genuinely smart one. So, how did it go?

First of all, I want to start with what I've chosen to label the "This Isn't Dracula"-bucket. I'm a pretty severe fan of the original Brahm Stoker novel, and I do find myself sighing a little bit whenever an adaptation does a common but unforced error. This whole "Dracula has a particular red thread-esque reason to go for Mina in particular" business for example? Utter nonsense. Dracula is an evil, twisted little man, and he sets his sights on Mina in part because he, like us, thinks Mina is pretty neat, and in part to spite her husband whom he left for dead. Dracula is a bit of an asshole, you see, and he delights in the torment of young Jonathan in particular. Oh, and Jonathan, my dear, poor, sweet avenging angel wife guy potential vampire. Most frequently wasted literary character in western canon I have little doubt.

Now, as you may remember, this isn't a Dracula adaptation. Well, it is, per an intellectual property suit from the Stoker estate that almost saw the original 1922 film Nosferatu: eine Symponie des Grauens entirely destroyed. As such, it's set in Germany, the protagonists all have different names, and there's a much heavier emphasis on the disease bit of the vampire mythos, as well as introducing the idea of sunlight being outright lethal for the vampire, an idea that was not present in the original novel.

This is all a long-winded way for me to say that although some of the changes irk me a good bit, turning NotMina from a capable modern woman into a vaguely mystical waif, shrinking the NotLucy role into the miniscule, and so on, these feel like choices of adaptation perhaps from bygone eras. This is all to say that while I do sigh wearily over the Fated Vampire Romance business and all of that, I am prepared to let the movie stand on its own, at least as much as such a thing is possible.

Nosferatu is the story of Thomas Hutter, a young realtor clerk who finds himself entrapped by the nefarious Count Orlok, a vampire noble who seeks to buy land in Thomas' home town, as well as thoroughly cuck the man. Oh yes, Orlok has his eyes on the prize, and that prize is Thomas' wife, Ellen Hutter. Orlok shortly leaves the twink-flavored blood bag for dead to go get to, if you pardon the pun, necking.

What follows is a tense escalation of dread as Orlok brings plague to the town of Wisborg, and tragedy to the house of shipwright owner Friedrich Harding and his wife Anna who houses Ellen, in particular. The rough sequence of the UK-bound part of Dracula happens more or less, with the added snarl that Orlok does it mostly to break down Ellen's resistance to his dark proposal. Why exactly he chose to do this "thrice you shall deny me" business while he ostensibly has both the paperwork and the best possible ultimatum at his disposal already, Be his or he'll kill Thomas, I am sure I don't know. Well, I'm not one to doubt the sanity of an older-than-dirt corpse man employing obscure sorcery and dubious contract law, but it seems like this could've been an one night kind of deal Orlok old mate.

Much of this is justified by appeal to some sort of occultism, jumping on the "magic of the old ways vs the modern world" themes of the original novel a fair bit harder. This is fair enough, I suppose, but it is hard to take Prof. Ebenhart's "none shall know the day or the hour"-ass occultism takes seriously when the creature in question is one whose weaknesses are so common knowledge. Like, they could ask the Romani that apparently travel through Transylvania, ostensibly to make sure Orlok doesn't amass an army. They seem to have that shit figured out, and I wouldn't mind seeing more of them if I'm honest.

Continuing on this trend of honesty, I don't super love the way this movie ends. It does make sense, although it does have the problem of having characters insist "it's the only way" with such a fervor that I find myself going "Huh is it really?" Now there's not a plot hole here as such, it just... kinda feels like the writing got a touch sloppy, trying combine elements from the novel and the 1996 Francis Ford Coppola adaptation into this "waterproof" ending that just comes up short. Not because it's bad, as much as it makes me go "Ok. So what was all of this for, really?" Ellen does manage to outwit Orlok, or at least really really gamble that he'll be blood drunk enough to not notice that the sun's coming up. To be clear, she doesn't actually do much other than laying back and thinking of England Germany. She doesn't take some laudunum to make sure her blood's got a soporific effect. She doesn't pierce Orlok with an iron stake while he's distracted. She doesn't do some kind of daylight savings double bluff. She lies there and lets this monster/lover do his business until it kills them both. That's... disappointing, honestly.

Honestly, that it even works kind of annoys me still. Orlok has been scheming for this, he's been putting his vampire mojo on Thomas' boss, he's been researching ship lanes (I have to assume on account of the Demeter Hijack thing,) he's been learning English German, he's been concocting hellish contracts that somehow both relies on consent and also hold up even if the initial signatory couldn't even read it. All of this has taken patience, cunning, obsession in a way I suppose, but I suppose immortals can afford that kind of madness. This is all to say that I find it weird that this ancient being puts so much work into this plan to end up in a situation where he does an oopsie and fucking dies over it. It'd be neat if it was on purpose in some visible way, but it just kind of ends up making both the major movers and shakers less interesting if you ask me.

Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the visual portrayal of Orlok, with one major exception. Love the long knobbly grabby fingers. Love how he's tall in a real unnerving way. Love how he appears in shadow or as shadow. Love his general corpse vibe. My question? WHY WHY WHY WHY does he have a mustache? Upon first casting my eyes upon that despoiled soupcatcher, I thought it was a reference to Dracula wearing a fake beard for a bit, but no, the lip warmer is there to stay. I kind of get it, because there's nothing that would make drinking the blood of the innocent more viscerally disgusting than involving facial hair into the soup-y goo of it all. The finale does get into that business a little bit, but ultimately it does feel like one of those decisions that's worse for my brain than for my limbic system.

In general, I feel like Nosferatu has many of the same problems that many of Eggers' films has to me. They're gorgeous looking, bleak, and ambitious, and I just do not feel like they're saying anything. Oh there's stuff going on, the fanaticism in meeting the unknown in The VVitch, the harshness of violence in The Northman, the sheer homoerotic bugfuck stir crazy of The Lighthouse, and so on, but it feels like it isn't actually saying anything of note. It could be that I'm not as visually oriented as many other film buffs, but I spend a not inconsequential amount of time while watching this guy's movies while waiting for the purpose of this whole exercise to reveal itself. It's like a philosopher that spends much time proving how you can't prove anything, and then acts surprised when people ask him what the applications of this purported knowledge might be.

Now, I recognize that this might be a bit unfair. After all, I am a plot guy, and a lot of the time in Eggers' movies the plot isn't really the important part. That said, even if I don't find a plot satisfying, I can be quite content with it making me feel things. Unfortunately, Nosferatu doesn't quite stick that part either. Yes, it is grim to see Ellen dead, with the supernatural parasite that murdered her draped across her chest, but does it say anything? Does it express any ideas? Is all this tragedy in service of anything, or is it, much like the Contemporary Horror Clout Claim murder of ostensibly innocent children, done mostly for shock value? I won't claim to know, but it certainly feels like a shaggy dog story.

There are other complaints I could mention, the pacing of the stay at Castle Orlok in particular feels incredibly rushed, the dedication to keeping Orlok's face off screen or otherwise obscured goes on exactly one scene too long to not be conspicuous, and I could've done with both more Willem Dafoe and more 5k rats, although the latter was mostly because I found both of these contributors delightful.

[wodania]

honestly no i don’t think it’s weird at all to be upset about the exclusion of satin in the show.. if anything though as a gay guy im pretty glad they didn’t have him if loras is any indicator.. imagine them with a fairly effeminate gay coded character? no thanks 🫣

Loras was a sign of the end times 😭 I think I’ve made a joke before that if JonCon had been included he probably would’ve been written like one of those modern family dads and I feel more and more right each passing day.

Gonna rant a little (a whole shit ton like it’s really long I’m so sorry I got carried away) about gender and sexuality in ASOIAF/GoT here because I’m a lesbian and obsessed with analyzing these things :

tldr; D&D set up gender roles/rules where there weren’t previously any, and removed and added character traits as they saw fit (especially looking at feminine = gay and masculine = straight). If a character did not fit their perceived mould, such as Qarl the Maid, Jon Connington, and Satin, and could not be altered to fit that perceived mould, they were cut entirely. They also, in a possible attempt to be more relatable to a gay audience, introduced systematic religious homophobia where it was not previously, brutalizing their gay character. They wrote them as stereotypes and ignored them if they could not possible be shaped into one of their stereotypes.

GRRM obviously plays with gender roles and dynamics with his characters, yet D&D makes it so black and white. Gay people are all effeminate men. Hell, even Asha/Yara falls into this. She and her lover Qarl are a major fuck you to westerosi gender roles and expectations. He’s an effeminate man and she’s a masculine woman in a dominate powerful position. Yet he’s removed from the show. Absolutely no hate to queer “Yara”, but it is interesting in hindsight how that ended up working out. Had she been written differently, I’d argue that bisexuality compliments her character - if it weren’t for the history D&D has. When they do play with gender roles, it’s so tacky and one dimensional and ends with weird, nonsensical scenarios of female badassery with none of the development present in the books. Then, on the other hand, any vulnerability or deviance from societal expectations that male characters experience are wiped clean. Jon Snow is made into a generic fantasy hero type. Men who are seen as “weaker” or more “submissive” are brutalized on screen as torture p/rn, as shown with Theon Greyjoy. And men who are gay must be effeminate or promiscuous in one way or another. Loras deviated from that, so he had to be stripped of his defining traits and turned into fan service. Satin deviated from that even more, being a sex worker, and was stripped from the show entirely. Loras didn’t sleep with men enough, and the show writers wanted to change that. But Satin slept with men too much, and was in too close of proximity narratively and physically to fantasy hero Jon Snow. They wanted gay sex depicted in an easily digestible way for their perceived cishet audience, and found the idea of a boy selling his body to survive abysmal and not appropriate for such an audience, though they had no problem exploiting female prostitutes for the pleasure of the viewers . And in a weird attempt to be “relatable” to modern audiences, d&d introduced a self imposed barrier: homosexuality being illegal. Likely thinking that gay audiences would love to see their favourite gay Loras Tyrell brutalized and spat upon, D&D did exactly that, failing to realize that gay audiences would much rather see a queer character existing in a dark fantasy without their sexuality being what puts them in danger, compared to seeing something they already witness every day (religious-motivated violence and persecution) thrown into the show. Like it’s such an insult to the source material, especially considering that the 1990s book that hardly makes explicit references to the relationship of Loras and Renly does a better job at making them likeable, well developed characters than the “modern” 2010s tv drama. The flower crown, rainbow, cutesy edits dating back to the early days of Game of Thrones is a far cry from the depiction of politically savvy Renly and brutal and bloody Loras in the books. And the show just kind of encouraged that view of the two, as the cutesy gay boy fan service, hairless as a newborn baby and scared of blood. On the topic of JonCon, it would have been near impossible to introduce him and have him fit this set rule of “effeminate men = gay” and “masculine men = heterosexual”. JonCon is an intimidating, stone faced character who’s demeanour is hinted at being similar to that of Tywin fucking Lannister, as Tyrion almost accidentally refers to Jon as “father”. Aka, Jon is scary af. He’s older, grey, potentially dated the ugliest man in Essos who was also significantly older than him, and is also a father. Hardly a character that can be put into the set limiting roles of the show.

I’m honestly going to stop myself right here this is getting too long and I should just sit down and write an essay 💀 like genuinely I should write a paper

[bookoformon]

3 Nephi, Chapter 7. Part 1: "The King of Secrets."

The chief judge is murdered, the government is destroyed, and the people divide into tribes—Jacob, an anti-Christ, becomes king of a secret combination—Nephi preaches repentance and faith in Christ—Angels minister to him daily, and he raises his brother from the dead—Many repent and are baptized. About A.D. 30–33, the Number is 358, גהח‎‎ ‎gaha "pride."

An evil Jacob, "a follower of the devil" surfaces and becomes the king of a secret combination. The Third Son of Nephi tries to minister to the people instead:

1 Now behold, I will show unto you that they did not establish a king over the land; but in this same year, yea, the thirtieth year, they did destroy upon the judgment-seat, yea, did murder the chief judge of the land.

2 And the people were divided one against another; and they did separate one from another into tribes, every man according to his family and his kindred and friends; and thus they did destroy the government of the land.

3 And every tribe did appoint a chief or a leader over them; and thus they became tribes and leaders of tribes.

4 Now behold, there was no man among them save he had much family and many kindreds and friends; therefore their tribes became exceedingly great.

5 Now all this was done, and there were no wars as yet among them; and all this iniquity had come upon the people because they did yield themselves unto the power of Satan.

6 And the regulations of the government were destroyed, because of the secret combination of the friends and kindreds of those who murdered the prophets.

7 And they did cause a great contention in the land, insomuch that the more righteous part of the people had nearly all become wicked; yea, there were but few righteous men among them.

8 And thus six years had not passed away since the more part of the people had turned from their righteousness, like the dog to his vomit, or like the sow to her wallowing in the mire.

Two ancient and disctinct forces are (and are not, apparently) warring in Zarahemla. One is a faction of persons called Gandianton Robbers "liars" in Hebrew, and the Nephites, "prophets". One seeks money, power, and an absence of accountability for all the manners of wickedness. During the time of the authorship of the Book of Mormon they were the slave owners vs. the abolitionists.

They are the modern day equivalent of the Republican Party vs. the Democrats, except no one knows what the fudge the Democrats do all day. At least we know they aren't harmful.

The real problem is we none of the above represent an effective ethical or Godly approach to managing the affairs of mankind. We now know slavery is a very bad idea and have made it illegal. But even still we think the government was invented to referee silly superstitious fights and it has a day job and nearly 8 billion people to feed, educate, insulate, and employ.

If we imagine the world as one place with one system of government which is what it has got, then it becomes clear how tenable governing could be if we did not undertake the causes of nonsense with which we are presently preoccuppied. Much success would be ours for the taking if we were willing to do this.

The Values in Gematria explain the causes of agony that are responsible for our failures:

v. 1: the Value in Gematria is 13723, ג‎ יגזב‎ ‎ gaziev, or gehaziev, "the nation that falls."

Meaning Valley Of Vision Etymology. From (1) גיא (gai'), valley, and (2) the verb חזה (haza), to see or have [a] vision. Related names • Via גיא (gai'): Gehenna, Ge-melah, Giah, Gihon • Via חזה (haza): Chuza, Col-hozeh, Hazael, Hazaiah, Haziel, Hazo, Hezion, Jahaziel, Jahzeiah, Mahazioth.

The verb חוה (hawa) means to lay out in order to live collectively, and describes investing one's personal sovereignty into a living collective like a symbiont. It's mostly translated as to prostrate, which is to submit oneself wholly and bodily to a collective or to the leader of that collective.

v. 2: the Value in Gematria is 10118, י‎א‎יח‎, "yeh" = God

v. 3: the Value in Gematria is 4904, דטאֶפֶסד‎, the Datasheet.

v. 4: the Value in Gematria is 7130, זאגאֶפֶס, zagapes, "the zigzag."

v.5: the Value in Gematria is 11696, יאוטו‎‎‎, yauto, "will fly."

v. 6: the Value in Gematria is 7737, זזגז‎, "buzzing."

v. 7: the Value in Gematria is 9136, טאג‎‎ו, tago, "a tag", "a crown."

v. 8: the Value in Gematria is 10959, י‎טהט‎, yathat, "a portion of fear because of division."

The beautiful root יתר (yatar) yields words with a general meaning of remaining or being a rest (a remainder). HAW Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament submits, "It refers to one portion of a quantity which has been divided.

The masculine noun חת (hat), which is commonly translated with terror or fear (Genesis 9:2, Job 41:25). The word חת (hat) often occurs together with the word ירא (yare), meaning to fear or be afraid (see for instance Genesis 9:2).

SO a secret combination causes humanity to divide, and then the flies come, then an evil man gets a crown, and then comes the fear. We've seen this happen so many times. It never works, it's not working now.

[breelandwalker]

hi Bree! I am currently doing research on modern paganism as a whole, and have come across a few passages about how some practitioners claim to follow an 'old' or 'the old and true' religion. I know Margot Adler mentions this briefly in "Drawing Down The Moon" (page 77) - but I'm wondering if you've seen any other sources on this? I want to learn more about the origins of this 'old and true' religion, but none of my regular resources are turning up anything of substance.

-gasps in Witchstorian- Is it time? I think it's time. Excuse me while I put on my very best hat.

Today, we're going to have a chat about MARGARET FUCKING MURRAY and her thoroughly discredited theories about a Great White Western Witch-Cult. (I have plans to do a wholeass podcast episode on this nonsense in the coming year, so consider this a warm-up. I should also note that debunking claims of an Ancient Unified Religion of Witchcraft is part of how I first earned my stripes as a fledgling Witchstorian. So this be my wheelhouse and I welcome ye to it.)

In her 1921 book, The Witch-Cult in Western Europe, Murray put forth the theory that the ceremonies and rituals detailed in witch trial documents were actually descriptions of practices utilized by a matriarchal pagan fertility cult whose adherents had survived in secret following the Christianization of the British Isles. She pointed to a number of historical personages accused of and/or executed for witchcraft as members of this alleged "Old Religion," presented the idea of "flying on broomsticks" as a ritual activity involving a leaping dance with brooms held between women's thighs (the handles being smeared with a hallucinogenic salve), and claimed that the "Horned God of the witches" was later twisted into modern artistic depictions of Satan as a method of quite literally demonizing these supposed pagan ways. Furthermore, according to Murray, the cult had survived into the present day in the form of a certain secret groups in rural areas of Britain. (It should be noted that while Murray did not invent this theory, she was its' biggest and arguably most legitimizing proponent in her day.)

If any of this is sounding familiar, you get a cookie.

Gerald Gardner was a big fan of these theories and further bolstered the claims when he touted the New Forest coven as a surviving group from the "Old Religion." He incorporated many of Murray's claims into the early framework of his own myth-building. If you read Witchcraft Today (1954), you'll see a lot of Murray's work repeated as a framework for Gardner's own theories on contemporary witchcraft practices, which later became the basis for Wicca.

The issue here is that Murray was working with both a flawed premise and a really terrible use of source material. Repeatedly, she cited superstition, prosecutorial arguments, and confessions from accused witches from 16th-17th century trial records as fact, completely ignoring that none of this had any physical evidence attached to it and that confessions were often made under torture or the threat thereof. She also cited a lack of evidence as alleged evidence of a coverup by the Church and the Crown, or the cult itself covering its' tracks. Even her contemporaries viewed her work as fringe theory and it's largely because she was invited to write the Encyclopedia Britannica article on Witchcraft and the later use of her theories in the creation of Wicca that she's taken seriously by anybody at all.

While Murray's claims are thoroughly discredited, almost literally laughed out of academia during her own lifetime, certain sectors of the modern witchcraft and pagan communities still cling to this idea of a secret surviving pre-Christian goddess cult. I can fully understand why this is tempting, given the romantic notion of clandestine meetings and bonfire dances out in the woods, as well as the need of some modern witches to feel connected to some form of borrowed martyrdom as a mirror for their own feelings of disenfranchisement. No serious scholar of the early modern period or the history of witch trials during that time considers Murray's work credible and modern historians are prone to cringing whenever her name is mentioned.

So yeah, if you see a work on modern paganism or witchcraft referring to "the Old Ways" or "the Old Religion," that's very likely what it's talking about. Margot Adler and Ronald Hutton, both noted and credible authors writing about the modern witchcraft movement, mention Murray's witch-cult hypothesis in their books....but mostly only to say what a crock of shit it was.

For further reading, I recommend Jacqueline Simpson's 1994 article, "Margaret Murray: Who Believed Her And Why?," Ronald Hutton's "Triumph of the Moon," and the Wikipedia article on the witch-cult hypothesis (purely for a condensed version of how the theory came to be and how it has affected modern thought).

I'll leave you with this quote from A New History of Witchcraft: Sorcerers, Heretics and Pagans (Russell and Brooks), regarding Murray's work:

"That this 'old religion' persisted secretly, without leaving any evidence, is, of course, possible, just as it is possible that below the surface of the moon lie extensive deposits of Stilton cheese. Anything is possible. But it is nonsense to assert the existence of something for which no evidence exists. The Murrayites ask us to swallow a most peculiar sandwich: a large piece of the wrong evidence between two thick slices of no evidence at all."

[ladymunson]

This Is Halloween

Fic Summary: It’s almost your favourite time of year, which also happens to be your birthday. Eddie wants to know… trick or treat?

A/N: This is a small blurb for my good friend @eddiesprincess86 for her birthday. I hope you like it! Also it’s set modern day AU

Word Count: 852

Warnings: None, sweet fluffy nonsense :)

I do NOT give permission for my work to be copied, translated or posted to any other platform.

Support content creators by reblogging.

—

“Happy birthday Princess!” Eddie whispers in your ear as his arms wrap around your middle. You grin, and lay your head back on his chest. You stop what you’re doing to turn in his grasp. His arms stay in the same place so they’re wrapped around the small of your back.

“Thank you for being the best birthday gift a girl could wish for!” You say, Eddie snorts making you cringe. “Sorry that was so cheesy!”

“Super cheesy!” Eddie agrees with a grin but leans down to press a kiss to your lips. Then he lets you go. “Gotta run sweetness, your present won’t set itself up.”

“You haven’t done anything stupid have you?” You ask with a cocked eyebrow.

“You will never hear the words stupid and Eddie Munson in the same sentence!” He says with seriousness and a dramatic flourish.

You scoff. “Yeah right!”

“Don’t ruin my moment!” Eddie pouts.

—

The sound of banging on your door brings you back to the present, you’d gotten lost scrolling through tumblr you’d kinda spaced out. You put your phone down and walk to the door, opening it expecting to see Eddie and the rest of the gang.

But Eddie is alone. “Trick or treat?” He says, you look up at his face and crack into a huge smile. He’s in full costume, and his face is painted, like Jack Skellington.

“You did this for me?” You ask, chuckling.

“Well it is your favourite movie, are you gonna leave me out here all night?” Eddie asks, hand on his hips. You smile and step aside to let him in.

He goes straight for your dvd collection and digs out what he’s looking for. Going straight to the player and inserting the disc, smiling at you. He sits on the couch and pats the space beside him, you hold out your hand to indicate one second and disappear into the kitchen. Coming back moments later with sodas and snacks, you hand them to Eddie before taking a seat beside him. He picks up the remote and presses play.

The opening to the movie starts and you try to stop yourself saying the opening narration, Eddie gives you the side eye as if telling you that he’s waiting for you. But he doesn’t say anything and neither do you.

The opening musical number begins and you look at each other and start humming along.

Boys and girls of every age, wouldn’t you like to see something strange.

Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Pumpkins scream in the dead of night.

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene.

Trick or treat ‘til the neighbours gonna die of fright.

All of a sudden Eddie is up on his feet, acting out the song.

He kneels down like a creeper and sings along.

I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red.

Then his up and wiggling his fingers like snakes and spider legs.

I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair.

You’re howling with laughter and not managing to keep up with the singing. In fact you miss the rest of the song while you’re laughing, but Eddie continues to act it all out.

Once the song is over he sits beside you once again and acts as if nothing has happened, which has you giggling.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“You’re such a dork!” You say with a chuckle.

“But you love me anyway.” He replies with a grin.

—

You both continue to watch the movie, saying all your favourite lines and quotes along with the characters on screen. Just before the climax of the movie, Eddie gets up off the couch and heads into the bathroom, you pay no attention and carry on watching.

Just after the people of Halloween town sing their version of What’s This, Eddie comes out of the bathroom. He doesn’t come back to the couch though, which confuses you slightly until he begins to approach while singing.

My dearest friend, if you don’t mind. I’d like to join you by your side.

Where we can gaze into the stars.

You begin to sing along.

And sit together, now and forever. For it is plain, as anyone can see.

We’re simply meant to be…

And with the last few notes playing on the tv, Eddie leans down and kisses you. “I love you.” He says as he pulls back.

You smile and reply. “I love you too, my Jack.”

“My Sally.” Eddie says and you share another kiss.

The End.

[sinfulskywalker]

Dark modern AU? You can go all out if you want.👍

TW: dark, spanking, slight domestic punishment.

Luke and Din we're an arranged marriage for business reasons. Of course with The Skywalker's owning three capital banks and Din Djarin an up and coming social tech that rivals the likes of anything anyone has ever seen it was all set up after two meetings.

Din is strict. He's no nonsense and he doesn't take kindly to Luke not listening to him.

Of course Luke is young and wild. He wants to go clubbing, racing, go party in Spain on his yacht he got last Christmas or take a few flights to Vegas and drink his anxiety away.

There's none of that around Din. With Din he ensures Luke's mother's necklace and his hand are all that adorns his tiny tight throat.

Every love bite is visible on Luke's naturally tanned body. At meetings the boy is to show off at least one of he's not going to wear his wedding ring.

Din will and does spank him often.

"You've been a cheeky boy checking out the models weren't you, princess?" Dins large hand slaps against his rear. Luke yelps. "I'd let you model if you were willing to do more that talk back to me with that mouth."

Luke grew up with Daddy's credit card. Now he wants his husband's. Yeah Din tracks everything he buys. The skimpier the more Luke is allowed to buy.

After all Luke is a prize. And the poster boy for his social platform. It's funny how Luke doesn't need to be nude to rival pornhub.

There is love. Of course Din wouldn't marry Luke if he didn't intend to love him. On the balcony of their new York penthouse overlooking central park he admires Luke sipping his mimosa in his silk robe and sleeper pants. He'll leave a gentle kiss on the cheek and a promise of a spa day just the two of them if he's a good boy while he's at work.

Luke smirks knowing well good boy means collared and presenting as soon as Din comes home.

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc

genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff 

word count: 2.2k

WARNINGS: none (pls tell me if there’s anything i missed!)

a/n: THEIR LOVE STORY CONTINUES AND YOU WILL FIND OUT ON MY NEXT POST! i will say this over and over again, THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! 

epilogue | masterlist

The trial of your father was not something you have ever imagined you would experience nor witness in this lifetime. Despite having the option to not go, you still attended. You weren’t present at the court itself though. Instead you waited at the parking lot with Jeongyeon everyday from the first day up to the last day. The judge’s verdict was obvious and irrevocable. Your father’s ancestry, title and reputation didn’t matter in the eyes of justice. At some point, you couldn’t accept it still but eventually you knew that every wrong must be corrected.

You can say that the wounds from this inevitable downfall burned the most than the wounds inflicted by the enemy.  

Wonwoo was at your apartment when you arrived after the long hours of waiting. He just finished showering, drying his hair with a clean towel when he greeted you. After getting discharged from the hospital, he didn’t fail to visit your place and most times, he would stay the night. That’s why it’s natural and comforting to see him lounge around as if he has been living with you from the get go. 

He already knows how the trial went because it was everywhere. He catches you with his arms once your bag is dropped on the couch and the tears you have been holding back start to fall. It’s not easy to cry every second, every minute and every hour. It’s not easy to accept that your tears are not enough. Not enough to help your father without damaging everything else further. 

Your face was buried on the crook of your lover’s neck as you finally let it all out. He holds you there for a while before he moves the two of you to the couch and keeps you close by letting you take a seat on his lap.

You love your father so much but it is only right and only just to let this Kingdom punish him for the crimes he committed against the people he swore honesty and protection to. 

The exhaustion made you fall asleep and Wonwoo left you be until he had to wake you because he doesn’t want you to skip your meal. After munching on a few bites, he led you to the bathroom for a warm bath, sitting on the cold tiled floor as he took care of you. And in the late evening, he held you close as you retired from the pain of the day.

Wonwoo is a gift and he makes every single day a little better.

You and Wonwoo decided to tie the knot three years later than what was initially arranged. It just felt right at the time to postpone the wedding and do what should be done. The Prince can tell that your heart and mind was not set on marriage yet because of what was currently happening. He was the one who brought it up, suggesting a postponement if you needed the time to think and of course, to wait. He didn’t mind because he’s one hundred percent sure that he is yours and it wasn’t necessary to immediately hold a wedding to seal the deal.

Three years of waiting wasn’t the timeline you intentionally planned on but if one were to count, that’s how long the two of you endured. The plan to have a grand wedding was scrapped and essentially, you two were back to zero. The venue, decorations, menu and even the custom made wedding dress and tuxedo were either auctioned or donated. It was a unanimous decision among you, him, your mother and his parents. It was for the better and taking things slow in your relationship was much needed anyway. 

On the subject of parents, Wonwoo’s, for a period of time, were uneasy with your relationship. It was not because of you and what your father did. Their Majesties were wise enough to not hold anything against you and who you are. What made them uneasy was the people and their talking. If some were still loyal and supported and rooted for you, some were the exact opposite. The tabloids were cruel as well and you didn’t miss them displayed in every newsstand. They still gossiped about your father and even talked about the most irrelevant nonsense. Like come on, who cares about you wearing an orange jacket on a normal Sunday?

But the major stumbling block for them was your recommendation to abolish the Royal Family of your Kingdom. 

You have pondered about it for quite a while and when you have made your decision, you discussed it with the rest of your relatives. As the times have changed, reigning as the sole power of the kingdom didn’t appeal to your family anymore. Some of your father’s siblings and cousins have discussed this already even before your father himself inherited the throne. It just so happened that the then cabinet members strongly opposed the idea. However this time, things will be different for and with you. 

By right, you are the Queen of the Kingdom and it won’t be for much longer.

It was a long and exhausting process. You had to meet with the Cabinet and the policy making body of the Kingdom. For a whole year, you were lobbying and arguing with a lot of individuals who have their own greedy political agendas. However, for the same whole year, the people were supportive of your decision and goal. That pushed you forward and motivated you to not give up. It paid off because in the end, you stepped down as the last Queen to ever reign in your family and ultimately, the Kingdom. 

Countless aspiring public servants stole the spotlight the following year as the campaign season started. Some still encouraged you to hold a position to which you declined immediately. It was a tight competition because every candidate had the potential. The people were smarter and at the same time stronger. They knew who they wanted and needed to lead the Kingdom. No flowery words could ever sway them. 

Power to the people indeed.

You were present to the formulation and enactment of the new laws that will hopefully make the Kingdom and its citizens flourish without the presence of abuse of power and dishonesty. Once you finally signed the last piece of document as the Queen, the Kingdom is not yours anymore and you have never felt so free. 

During the (unintentional) three year wait, you and Wonwoo made the most out of your time as boyfriend and girlfriend, fiancé and fiancée. Well, the engagement ring wasn’t returned to you so you’re quite unsure about the status of the latter. You didn’t lose it though. Wonwoo admitted on one of your dates that it’s with him and that he’ll eventually give it back. 

Wonwoo stayed and continued working at the Royal Hospital meanwhile you decided to leave your current law firm and establish a new one to serve the public. It was a busy year of transition and you felt bad that you dragged Wonwoo into it. Even though he promised that he didn’t mind, you still can’t help but feel terrible that he’s carrying a whole lot of baggage that isn’t his. 

He will just shush you with a kiss on the lips whenever you bring it up and you hate how he makes it work. 

For most of the time, you were awfully busy, you had to bring work back to your apartment. Wonwoo would always complain with his forehead on your shoulder as you worked away on your desk. He would complain that it’s already late and you should be snuggled to him by then and you would just scratch the back of his neck to placate him. To which, he didn’t like. He didn’t stop until you shut down your laptop and let him pull you to bed. 

Wonwoo diligently went back and forth to his hometown and here. He could go back and work at his Kingdom, but not without you. He made it clear that he has every intention of marrying you, so until then, he’d stay by your side. You love every single bit of time you spent with him and you’re beyond grateful. Although there was one instance you had to take care of him because he got sick, that didn’t make him stop. 

The two of you went to a lot of dates despite the busy and overlapping schedules. Most of your dates consisted of long drives far from the city. You frequent farms, beachsides and small hidden cafes with little to none customers. It was great and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

It’s Wonwoo, after all. 

Eventually, you had to visit his parents and introduce yourself in a whole new and different perspective. It was nerve wracking, but their Majesties never changed. In fact, almost everyone at their Kingdom still treated and served you like royalty to which you vehemently refused. Nonetheless, their Majesties still gave their utmost blessing and support to your relationship and if anything, they hope to see you get married soon. 

Wonwoo requested to meet your father at some point. At first, you were confused as to why but when he told you that he wanted to do things right, you couldn’t say no. 

You had to admit, you were embarrassed. However, you swallowed your pride because it’s pointless to keep concealing yourself from Wonwoo. He has accepted and loved you in every way and every form already, all you have to do is bare yourself to him. 

The meeting and conversation you shared with your father was short-lived because of the time limit. In spite of that, it was good to see him and you’re happy Wonwoo took the initiative to visit him. It has already been two years since he got imprisoned and even though you couldn’t visit him every day, your father never held it against you. He was ecstatic to see Wonwoo and the news of your wedding still on, made him burst into a joyful laughter. 

It still pained you to see him on the other side of the glass. It still pained you to not hug or touch his hand at least. But you keep yourself together and remember the purpose as to why your father had to go through this. 

Your father never failed to tell you his regrets and apologies, but most importantly, he never failed to tell you how proud he is and that he loves you very much so. 

You will never become a queen anymore, but Wonwoo vowed that you will be of his heart. He found it cringey himself, but he told you he had to say it in front of everyone present at your wedding. You just laughed it off because you know he’s not saying it out of spite. 

The wedding happened at his mother’s garden with only close family and friends invited. Your father couldn’t make it even if he wanted to, but it was alright because you promised you’ll send lots of pictures afterwards. Some of your relatives made it, Jeongyeon and Seungkwan were also there. Meanwhile, all of Wonwoo’s relatives made it and of course his best friends Soonyoung, Jihoon and Jun (whom you met along the way) were also present. 

It was a short ceremony that didn’t last more than three hours. It started late in the morning and ended early in the afternoon. The two of you, hand in hand and all smiles, did your best to mingle with every guest and thank them for their time and attendance after finally sealing everything with a long kiss and of course, legal documents.

There was no afterparty held after lunch was served, you and Wonwoo wanting the rest of the day to yourselves. A traditional program sounded lovely, but the two of you wanted to be simple. 

The wedding was three years long in the making and in between, it almost didn’t happen. The beginning was vague because it started off as an arranged union. You didn’t know him, he didn’t know you. The middle was everything you wanted, full of love and security. You were so sure and so ready, just waiting for the dress and everything was set. However before the happy ending, shortcomings and bad deeds needed to be resolved and by doing so, one of you almost had to sacrifice the middle that you were ready to have forever. 

But when Wonwoo buried his face in the space between your jaw and neck and his arms found its way around your waist, you realized that everything that had to happen was worth it. In the middle of the garden where the two of you stood alone, swaying from side to side, you realized and accepted that it was all worth it. 

Your fingers ran through the hairs of your husband’s hair and he hummed at the sensation. You smiled at the vibration and continued holding him. If you were to tell one of the sentiments that you and Wonwoo share when you’re together, it’s that you wish for everything to never end. And now that you’re married, it is not far-fetched. 

“I love you, Wonwoo,” you whispered and you’re not crying anymore. 

Wonwoo pulls away slightly to look at your face and when he sees your smile, he knows that he loves you too.

a/n 2: all my love, the drabble/oneshot series masterlist is up! 🧡

[atopfourthwall]

Ive only recently gotten into classic Star Trek so I don't think I can properly answer but what is it specifically about Discovery and recent Star Trek that classic Trek fans hate?

Putting this behind a cut because... it's a lot.

Well, first of all a big rejection of it is just on an aesthetic level. Up until the 2009 movie (which was considered a reboot, even with time travel elements), Star Trek tried to treat the original series and how it was portrayed as pretty sacrosanct. Sure, they might occasionally make jokes about goofier aspects of it and discard some of the stupider stuff (like how in the final episode, penned by Gene Roddenberry himself, that women weren't allowed to Captain starships), but how TOS looked? That's how the 23rd century looked. Buttons and multi-colored outfits and boxy computers and smooth, undetailed ships WAS what was appropriate for the time. When Scotty came back in TNG, they had him on the holodeck and it was the TOS bridge. When DS9 traveled back in time to that era for an episode? They went onto the Enterprise and visited it. When in an Enterprise 2-parter we had a TOS-era ship? It looked like a TOS ship. They even did a 2-parter on Enterprise to explain why Klingons had smooth foreheads when later (and earlier) they didn't. Star Trek up until then cared about maintaining that continuity of appearance. But Discovery is set in the TOS era... but nothing looks like TOS. Even when we got the Enterprise and those uniforms and we saw inside the ship, it was an upgraded form. The only logic I've seen people try to argue about WHY it doesn't look like it actually did was "Well, audiences won't accept something as cheap as TOS being futuristic." Well, then you've got a few responses there: -Don't set in TOS era, then. -That's horseshit, because audiences from the 90s through the 2000s accepted it just fine. Even a piece of dialogue from DS9 explained it perfectly: "I LOVE 23rd century design." It LOOKS cheap, but it was just the aesthetics of the period. And the Enterprise 2-parter it still looked good in HD. Hell, arguably it looked BETTER in HD because they knew how to light it and create mood and its own unique flavor. -It's even more horseshit because people are STILL going back and watching it even today, as indicated by you saying you've started watching it, so clearly it's not that much of a barrier. But what's even more egregious is the TECHNOLOGY. You might be able to accept updated aesthetics if at least matches what was present during the period... and it doesn't. Holographic displays and communication (holodeck technology AT ALL, frankly - it's possible it was there, but TNG seemed pretty adamant that the holodecks were fairly new, very impressive technology), weapons not looking or acting like they traditionally did, Enterprise and Discovery having R2D2-style repair droids that certainly did not exist in TOS, the wrong sound effects being frequently employed, replicator technology for good-looking food instead of food dispensers that gave out marshmallows and cubes, and honestly the tech level shown in Discovery looks just as advanced - if not MORE advanced than seen on TNG 100 years later. And this is a minor thing, but despite the attempt to make the future LOOK futuristic, from a cultural perspective, the future looks... way too damn similar to now. The excessive swearing (it was said in particular in Star Trek 4 that while they certainly did cuss, it was less common and they sure as hell weren't dropping F-bombs), a party on Discovery that looked like a rave (when previously it seemed like the most popular music and culture of the 23rd/24th century was considered fairly high-brow entertainment [classical music, Shakespeare, great works of literature and plays, etc.] - and while you could certainly argue that that snootiness and love of that stuff is a problem with Star Trek and a sign of how sterile and homogenized it is, THAT is the future they presented and a character in Voyager loving some of the goofier parts of 20th century culture like jukeboxes and old sci-fi serials was considered unusual), and just the general way people talk betrays the idea that the writers aren't thinking about how society changes in the future. It's just the modern day, but with cooler technology. But hey, let's set aside the general aesthetics - some people aren't going to mind that and find

ways to handwave away a lot of stuff (even Discovery season 2 TRIED to handwave away stuff like the holographic communications, but did a piss-poor job of it). This brings us to the problem of the WRITING. And the problem with the writing is a big Michael Burnham-shaped indentation. To be clear, I don't mind Michael as a character or her actress - there are interesting aspects to her, centering a Star Trek show around the science officer is a neat idea (though that means you should probably NAME IT AFTER HER and not around the ship, because it suggests this is a standard ensemble group and not JUST her)... but the actual execution is that it feels like the entire universe bends over backwards for HER. She has a unique relationship with a beloved longtime character that is retconned in. She has unique relationships with several important characters to the point where the fate of billions of people hinges on her and the decisions she makes. She is presented as almost always correct about everything, and those that oppose her are often wrong, naïve, or active enemies. Now, this is less of an issue in the third season - but that has its own unique problems - but in the first season, the resolution of two major storylines (mirror universe and the Klingon war) revolves around her and her relationship to the Terran Emperor and Lorca. In season 2, her mother trying to help or save her is the basis of the ENTIRE friggin' plot with time travel and the like, with special knowledge and history having to do with her and everyone ready to abandon their lives for her so she won't be alone when she has to go to the future when arguably they barely know her (the timeline of the show is debatable). Season 3 has a few different problems with her - the first is that she keeps being involved in things that don't concern her (why is she going down to Trill?) and she keeps violating orders. Now, her violating orders is a problem throughout the entirety of Discovery - in fact, it's kind of the instigating factor OF the series. And arguably, other Star Trek characters are guilty of that and they face no consequences, just as she faces none... and yet it's the brazenness with which it happens, and in those other series it's arguable because the series tries to avoid excessive continuity changes for its episodic nature, so the status quo MUST return to normal... but Discovery is pivoted as one of MAJOR continuity, so her lack of consequences (and indeed eventual PROMOTION) is baffling to the point of frustration. Now again, let me be clear here - she is not a bad character in and of herself. Honestly what it shows is that being the science officer on a starship is not where her talents lie. She should be in a position where she has a lot more freedom to act and not in a major command structure... but being in that command structure, what we see in season 3 is that she lacks the discipline, emotional maturity, responsibility, leadership qualities, and general other traits necessary to be a Captain. Only once during season 3 did she display such a quality - putting the safety of the Federation above a friend and colleague... but other times she will happily disobey orders and put herself and others in harm's way, creating potential new problems. Now, again, Star Trek is rife with characters doing that... but usually not the Captains. And, in fact, when this happened once on DS9 with one officer disobeying orders and putting their own personal feelings above the greater responsibility, it was made VERY clear that the incident would mean that they would never be able to command a starship because of the unofficial reprimand. What's even more frustrating about her is that the character is ALWAYS shoved to the forefront so much to the point where we just get sick of her. SHE is the one giving log entries (usually pretty piss-poor ones, at that - very flowery and nonsensical and kind of dumb) and not the Captain. SHE is the one given so much focus and how the plot of the episode affects her. Barely anyone else gets any focus episodes - I STILL can't

remember the names of some of the secondary characters because they're so rarely said, and a PTSD-related plotline in season 3 for one of the secondary characters basically gets resolved OFF-SCREEN. Michael would be fine if we actually had a chance to miss her... but we never do. Arguably one of the best episodes of the show is in season 2, when it focuses on Saru and his people because Michael DOES take a back seat. It's his story and his development and problems relating to him and his people. And even if, again, we forgave the idea of so much focus on her even in plots that aren't about her... she never seems to really change that much. She'll TALK about how she's changed, but I see no real difference in the way she acts (MAYBE season 1 to 2, where in season 1 she was stiffer and more Vulcan-like, but that's it). But hey, let's assume that's not a problem for you - you really, REALLY like Michael and are fine with so much focus on her. Simply put, the writing of the rest of the show... is just kind of dumb. The ship is powered by magic mushrooms that let it teleport everywhere because the universe has super fungus capillaries throughout it that nobody can see and also it's magic and can resurrect the dead. The time travel plot of season 2 doesn't make any sense when you sit down and diagram it. Well-established Trek lore is just kind of sprinkled in, but now in ways that doesn't match what it was before or at least in ways that completely recolor how it's supposed to work, because it needs to serve THIS plot. Everyone remembering a murdererous monster fondly after she leaves because "Hey, she was coooool." The explanation for the big mystery in season 3 is just fricking stupid and one of the two big reasons why I've finally given up on Discovery, because it's just so absurd, doesn't match how anything works, and just feels like the writers giving the middle finger to the audience because they care more about "YOU MUST FEEEEEEL THINGS!" instead of it making sense. And indeed, there is certainly a balance to be made of plot vs. emotion-driven storytelling - some stories are dumb, but are forgivable because the character writing and emotion are so strong that they override how goofy the plot is... but sometimes a plot is just so dumb it overrides anything I'm SUPPOSED to feel. And it would help if I already liked the show, already gave it some benefit of the doubt... but I don't and it hasn't done enough to impress me. A little thing that's a problem with ALL of current modern Trek shows is that whole sprinkling lore thing - I don't think a single episode goes by in ANY current modern Trek series that doesn't have a random reference to classic Trek lore. A name, a line of dialogue, etc. It comes across like the creators don't trust you to enjoy it on its own merits, but want you to like it because "Hey, remember thing? We know about thing! Like us because we mentioned thing!" But hey, I recognize that these are things that other people may not have any problem with or just disagree in general. But for me and my family, these are the big ones that keep us from enjoying it. Hell, my brother and dad still watch it for hatewatching purposes, but I was done after season 3. I gave it plenty of chances to impress me, and while each season MARGINALLY got better as it went along, I'm tired of waiting to actually like it and to stop feeling like it thinks I'm a fucking idiot. If other people still like it, great - it clearly appeals to them in a way that it doesn't appeal to me and they are free to enjoy it. Other people probably have their own issues, but this long, rambly bit is the major stuff for me.

[fangirlyah]

✦ pumpkin pie - Edmund Pevensie x Reader

summary: MODERN!AU secondary school starts, and your life is completely different from the pevensies’...would it be possible for them to connect in some point? 

warnings: none

word count: 2k

a/n: present / past

the rain was pouring outside of the apartment on a sunday afternoon. even from your bed you could hear the soft sound of the bonfire in the fireplace burning out and smell the scent of the coffee you did a few minutes ago. 

being in college wasn't easy, not just because of all the work and study you had to do, but also because it meant being apart of your family for a lot of time. you were lucky though, edmund was by your side. 

you met at secondary school and hate each other right away. he was this bad boy wannabe with the perfect life and you were the girl who always wore a smile on her face, even in the darkest times. 

there’s a saying that the adviser and helpful friend was the most hurt one, and in this case it was true. an empty home and a cold meal waited for you every day after school; you were the few people in school who didn't live there, you weren't a pupil because of the fact that you lived only five minutes away from school, so no one walked you to your house or make you company for a few streets. sometimes you thank that, because you knew no one would appear at the door to welcome you home and it embarrassed you a little. 

at the age of eleven, you already had a key to your front door and you knew how to make a meal from scratch, your mother said it would help you in the future, but sometimes you just wished to watch your mom make dinner and help her with it, like all the other kids. but you were mature enough to know that, since your dad left you, your mom had to work double shifts to pay food and expenses. 

a thing you liked to do when you ate at the kitchen counter alone, was to close your eyes and imagine the pevensies sitting beside you. a large table and exquisite food in it, everyone laughing and having a good time.  

being an only child wasn't easy, so when you watched the two brothers and sisters being so close you usually felt jealousy, you were so alone and so scared to admit it. you had friends who never came to your house nor knew your situation. one of your friends was susan pevensie, although she was older, you two had made an incredible bond when a school assembly took place and you two ended up sitting beside one another.  

for someone would be weird to hear that you hated edmund pevensie when you held such an admiration for the closeness of the family. but there was an encounter once that made you burn that feeling in your skin.

it was in the first week of school, you were still a little girl and he hurted you some much and edmund didn't even know. you remembered that it was lunchtime and you sat beside the first person in sight, no one was friends with anyone yet. that morning your mom had put you into a taxi cab and sent you to secondary school like a package, she put the ingredients of a sandwich in a lunch box and you put it together on the way to school. 

if you think very hard, you could still feel the embarrassment you felt when you took your badly done sandwich. 

“who made that foulness?! does your mother doesn't cook for you?” edmund was still a kid when he said that, so he didn't know that not everyone had a mother who cooked fancy meals every day. he was still a kid to notice how much you started hating him after that. in fact it took years for him to find out your dislike. he realized one day you greet peter, susan and lucy but not him; edmund didn't think too much of it, a lot of people didn't find him dearing. 

“christmas eve is in two weeks! this few months passed in a rush” one of your classmates said, she had always been fond of any holiday celebration. 

“what are you guys going to do?” every girl at the table started talking, the only thing that you could hear over all of the crashing voices was that katie was planning on visiting her grandparents at yorkshire. 

“and you, y/n? you didn't say anything” of course susan would notice, you slapped yourself in your thought; it would have been more simple to say some nonsense while everyone was speaking. now the attention was on you and you only had a few minutes to think of a movie scene you had watched, and make it yours. what did blair waldorf do for christmas eve in season three? 

“I think my grandma it's coming..” lie, she was dead “she makes this amazing ginger cookies every year” lie, she sucked at cooking while alive. 

everyone seemed convinced, you weren't an open book so that simple false details of your life left them satisfied. but again, not everyone. susan pevensie had stopped you by the stairs and invited you to her home for christmas eve’s lunch. you accepted right away, saying that your grandma had texted you saying she wasn't coming; you knew she didn't believe but she left you alone, so it was enough. 

when the day came around, you stood in front of a mirror. your sixteen year old  self adorned by a delicate dress, nothing special just an a-line dark purple dress. you opened the clutch bag on your hand and counted the pounds inside, it was enough for the train you just had to resist the urge to buy a snack from the trolley.  

the pevenises’s house was thirty minutes away from yours, so before you stood in front of the principal door, you had time to rehearse what you would say or how you would act. the idea that susan may have told her family about your solitary christmas situation, put you more nervous. you decided to push the thought away, but when you saw her mom open the door with such a pity face, you realized you were right. you knew that the woman didn't do it with any bad intentions but you felt bad when she grabbed the pumpkin pie you had made and watched you with even more sorrow. 

nevertheless, the night was pretty good. better of what you had experienced if you had stayed and ate spaghetti freshly thawed. 

“we are really glad you made it, y/n” peter said while he served more potatoes on his plate.  

“I'm actually the delighted one, this food is really appetizing” lucy smiled beside you, proud that she had helped her mom do all the food. 

“what would have eaten at home? I know you are a great cook!” your friend susan said “she makes the best cinnamon cookies ever!”  

“emm...probably i would have made some pigs in blankets and some brussel sprouts for my mom” it was the first time you talked sincerely with someone about what happened inside of your home. 

“is your mom not such a great cook as you?” mister pevensie asked. 

“she doesn't have the time to, so... i learned how to do it and now I’m better than her” while his family laughed, edmund realized why you hate him so much. it was years ago, but still to that day he wondered why the pretty and nice girl was softhearted to everyone but him. now he knew, edmund had hurt her feelings in first year and it seemed that she didn't forget.  

the classes returned to normal, after the holidays, he tried his best to like you. edmund had tried carrying your books, helping you with chemistry when you struggled and even checking that you are not forgetting anything in the classroom when you went home. you kindly rejected his offers; a part of you still had resentment but the other one told you it was stupid to keep umbrage to something that happedns years ago. 

it wasn't still a friday afternoon, it was raining and you hadn't brought a coat to school. it was the only evening they had free, and edmund decided to ask if you wanted him to walk you home, even if it meant wasting his entire afternoon.

for the first time you accepted. 

the first two streets were a complete silence. in the third you talked. 

“i know i already thank your sister, but...i just...i had a great time at your house before the holidays, so thanks...again” the freckled boy giggled at your adorable shyness, making you smile. you always knew he was a handsome young man, but..since when the school blue hat suited him so well? 

that phrase started what would be a nonstoping conversation until you reached your house. turns out edmund liked your pumpkin pie a lot, and he wanted to ask you if you would do some for him but he didn have the courage; you told him he didn't have to be shy around you, but you were around him. your house wasn't as big as the pevensie’s, but it was big enough for three two people. 

“thank you for coming with me, I know this cost you your free afternoon”  no one was home, as always, so you had no rush for coming inside but you supposed that he wanted to go back already. 

“it’s the least I can do after what I did…” you were facing each other, for the first time ever. 

“we were children, edmund” you tried to pretend you didn't care. 

“i didn't knew anything about you, that was why-” 

“you don't have to pity me” you interrupted him, that's why anyone knew about your mom, because the first thing people did when they found out was to pity. 

“I'm not, I'm admiring you” it was true, he thought he couldn't survive in your place; a scramble egg was science for him, imagine making a whole meal. you smiled at him while he did the same. 

“goodbye, edmund pevensie”  as you walked to your porch you heard him go:

“goodbye, y/n y/l” 

the entire weekend your head concocted thousands of ideas of how to talk to him again, what would you be your excuse? after hours of thinking you got the perfect plan. 

monday morning you entered the school gate with a little paper bag in your hands. you would be lying if you said that your hands didn't start shaking slightly, when you saw him go down the stairs with a sleepy face. he saw you immediately as your gaze was in the thing you were holding. 

“hey edmund” he stepped in front of you, ready to go to the canteen and grab breakfast. 

“hello, y/n” kids passed beside you, but neither of you were popular enough to catch the attention. 

“I...emm, I cooked some pumpkin pie and… I did too much so I decided to bring you some” lie, you did it just for him, you just ate a bite to taste it. he grabbed the package from your hands with a smile. 

“would you eat it with me?” 

“hey honey!” edmund’s head appeared at your bedroom’s door “is there any pumpkin pie in the fridge?” 

“ed, you are going to get sick of it if you keep eating it like a maniac” you left the book, that was in your hands, at your bedside table as you saw him get inside the room and head to you. he laid down gently on you, giving you a kiss. 

“I won’t, I promise” his smell always gets to you, how he smelled so good all the time. you shared an apartment near your collage, and one of its good things was the scent that came out of the bathroom every time he showered. 

“you have been eating the same dessert since we were sixteen, and now we are twenty-one, how did you not get tired of it?” that day had been a long one, full of study and stress. so when the night came and the rain started, the first thing you did was to make a nice dinner for you two. he was finishing his coffee and started starving pumpkin pie.

“that pie started everything between us, I can't get tired of it” he kissed your lips and you let his tongue go into your mouth. how was it possible that you ever hated him?

[michael-drummey]

Achilles x Patroclus: Part 2, Harmful Stereotypes in Modern Media

**Since my last post on this blew up! Here is just a little more on the subject & some of the nonsense I have seen & experienced on said topic online & in other forms of media**

For anyone who needs proof that Achilles & Patroclus were always and originally presented as a gay couple in a committed relationship mapped out in The Iliad (see my original post here) SOME in our society (not those who are properly educated) like to project harmful & stereotypical LGBTQ+ tropes on Homer’s material & their representation in other forms of media that are still prevalent today such as:

 “Gay as not the Main Character” - The Iliad starts with the lines “RAGE: Sing, Goddess, Achilles’ rage,” so right at the start this Story we meet Achilles; obviously he is crucial in the story’s plot, yet even for his importance in this story it is not named for him, the focus is on Troy. Achilles is “Greatest of all the Greeks” but is remembered for all his bad qualities, while others like Agamemnon who is also deeply flawed or Odysseus, get the recognition of trying to reason with Achilles, and are seen as the more reasonable leaders set on winning the war. Achilles and Patroclus get reduced to just once aspect of the story, then once they are dead, we get The Odyssey and our new main boy Odysseus. The wily & super straight war hero trying to get home to his darling wife and son, which leads us to our next trope...

“Bury your Gays” - Achilles and Patroclus are obviously coded as homosexual even though the Ancient Greeks did not have a word to use for gay, but it is none the less glaringly obvious. Patroclus is killed by Hector when he rides into battle to help his fellow Greeks and retain Achilles’ Honor, thus setting in motion the events that will unleash Achilles’ Rage upon Hector and the Trojans. We also find out later in The Odyssey Achilles died when Odysseus meets him in The Underworld where he stands off with Patroclus so check check for both stories. This is a huge piece of Homer’s story, but so many times Patroclus is forsaken and treated as a plot point not as a character who’s fate changes the course of the story, they view him as a “gotta go” kind of sidekick to Achilles.

“Depraved Homosexual & Loose Bisexual” - Either perverse and/or murderous the “depraved homosexual” trope portrays the gay character as possessing all quirks and qualities one/society considers undesirable. Achilles is vengeful and refuses to fight when Agamemnon tarnishes his honor, then when Patroclus is killed Achilles is completely inconsolable, wishing to end his life, he weeps for days on end in bed with the body of Patroclus. When he unleashes that grief (The Rage of Achilles) he is reduced to a killing machine hellbent on nothing but avenging his beloved’s death, which eventually will lead to his own demise. He is rarely referred to as a 3-dimensional character with complex emotions from this point on. As one who has suffered in this war, lost his honor & lost the love of his life, which has caused all that is human in him to die as well; he succumbs to his pain. His wrath is what so many know him for even if they haven’t read the story, They just see him as a ferocious warrior, but so few know the full context behind his actions, or love to claim he did what he did because his “best friend” was killed. Some forms of media love to also portray them as bisexual, where we are given over the top sex scenes, and shown two men who are meant to be “less than” for their sexual freedom/lack of sexual morals. While it really has nothing to do with that and just creates more biphobia and erasure. We are never are shown them happily and honestly committed to each other, which leads us to our next stereotype.

“Everyone is Straight” - SOME Historians, Scholars, Writers, Movies love to predominately present characters as “all straight or only straight”. Since The Iliad was recorded people have been debating if Achilles & Patroclus were an item or not. Personally I think the evidence is overwhelming and plain as day, (you do not share a tent & bed with just your homie, Rage as Achilles did at Patroclus’ death, then keep his body in your bed yearning for his “μένος” (menos) aka manly vigor and semen, then get your ashes buried together in the same urn, just for someone to say “They were Best Friends Forever!” There is more than enough evidence to say Homer wrote them as gay, but some love to throw the “Briseis Argument” out there saying he intended to marry her, and she was his girl, ie. lots of gratuitous sex scenes to follow. If that were so, why does he only take her into his bed once at the end of Book 24? He had 10 years what was stopping him? And why did he wish her dead when he receives the body of Patroclus? Truthfully you would be sad your friend died, but at least its not your lover, right? Unless, wait what happened to Achilles when Patroclus died?... oh right, that’s the reaction of a man who has lost his best friend, lover, basically entire world, so “Bye Briseis!” you were a broken man’s booty call, time to move along. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a booty call, but in The Iliad that’s what Homer gave us to work with and this ones more directed at Hollywood and Straights™ who like to ignore all historical context.)

Now we know that these tropes did not exist when The Iliad was recorded, and Homer did not set out with the mind set “gotta kill these gays!” the word homosexual did not exist until 1869, it is not like being LGBTQ+ people just popped up then too. But viewing the story with some of these lens we can more clearly see these modern tropes and stereotypes 1. Can exist in pieces of art and literature despite the time the story was told. 2. Hurtful stereotypes affect the way people translate & view stories, peoples, cultures, etc. A prime example I still find it shocking when people say “weren’t they just cousins!?” (NO) 3. Not thinking critically and thoughtfully about such a piece, prevents others from truthful experiences, and devalues the meaning and emotion one gets from reading or telling such a story. 4. It is modern weaponizing & blatant erasure of those LGBTQ+ (fictional and non-fictional characters) that came before us to present a false narrative of heteronormativity. 

In the end, as I stated, Homer did not use these stereotypes, these stories would have been sung and told in a way that captivated its audience, which they obviously are still doing today. Homer is a phenomenal storyteller, truly a classic and one of the best, but some still feel the need to straightwash these characters. So next time someone tries to say Homer never wrote Achilles and Patroclus as gay lovers, there is no evidence in The Iliad to support it, and that we cannot look at them through a modern lens. Or call out others who choose to ignore history, facts, and context, you can say “You Can! and Yes, Achilles x Patroclus are 100% in a committed gay relationship!” 

[imxthexhandler]

Hello!! Steggy secret Santa here! I wanna know if there are any tropes and/or AUs you really like between Steve and Peggy? Any NSFW situations you Like in your steggy smut/art? Do you like Pre or Post Serum Steve best?

OOC: I'm sorry, Steggy Secret Santa! I honestly thought I had replied to you but apparently not, and I am sorry. Work has just been nuts.

Hm. Good questions.

Do you like Pre or Post Serum Steve best?

Both. I mean, really, the serum is just an aesthetic change to me.

Tropes I enjoy:

-Steve getting turned on by Peggy being a badass. -Steve also loving the infamous "thigh holster". -Peggy learning she can be vulnerable around Steve, that she's not weaker for doing so. -Awkward flirting from Steve and Peggy being amused. -Dancing, whether it's an AU of them in WWII, the dance in Endgame, etc.

AUs I'd like to see/read:

-What If's Captain Carter/pre-serum!Steve. *chef's kiss* -Avengers Academy, which was a Marvel mobile game. If you don't know it, a college AU is fun as well. -Peggy coming into the present day due to science hijinks with Howard Stark. -The two of them meeting in a dancing class. -Steve being a tattoo artist and Peggy getting her first tatt when she turns 21. -AU where Steve is Cap when Peggy is Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. -Any situation where Steggy can go on a double date with WinterWidow (or WinterSchnapps, if you want to keep it in the 40's). -Undercover agent Steggy where they have to pretend to be a married couple. -Modern AU of them meeting at a convention and hitting it off.

NSFW situations:

-See item #2 under Tropes. I got a weakness for smut involving that. -Peggy being the one on top. -Just very intimate, loving sex between them. -Steve and Peggy fooling around at her office either with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the SSR. -I know this is cheesy (no pun intended), but I still giggle and like the fondue jokes. -Both of them flirting/teasing each other during/after missions.

Genres I adore:

-Fluff. -I do enjoy smut, but really, it's more about the intimacy between them I like reading. -I don't mind drama/angst, but I want a happy ending. -Domestic bliss.

Please do not include:

-Cheating. -Very graphic BDSM (I personally just don't see it with them). -Peggy being the damsel in distress or Steve being useless. -No Sousa. I think the interactions with him and Daisy are cute, mainly because of my partner Olivia's writing, but I am just not a Sousa fan. -No death. Seriously, I've had a lot of people I was very close to pass away this year and just...yeah, no more death. Unless it's Red Skull. -And none of that nonsense from the comics of trying to say Steve was EVER with Hydra.

Other random tidbits:

-Hot take, but I like Endgame. Even Steve's ending. So, if you want to do something that is post-Endgame, I'm fine with that. -If you do something with writing, I have an AO3 account- I'd like to leave kudos for you on there if your cross-post. -You don't have to write/draw me smut if you don't want to.

And again, I am terribly sorry for taking so long to respond. Please keep warm and safe.

[wlfkssd]

Midnight Caller

based on the prompt ‘hvithelred + midnight / early morning hugs’ sent in by @issadoragreen <3

summary : after a rough week, and with hvitserk not answering his calls, aethelred (thel) visits the lothbrok house at midnight to see him.

warnings : smoking, brief mention of ragnar yelling at hvitserk, mentions of divorce and a bad impression of gimli from lotr. a little bit of angst, not much though.

pairing : hvitserk x aethelred. small appearances from alfred, rollo, ubbe. as well as a tiny flirtation between ubbe and thel. 

words : 2,380.

notes : aethelred is referred to as thel a lot in this fic. just because it’s a little more modern.

The dial tone continues in its monotony and Thel shakes his head, lowering the phone from his ear before he hangs it up again. He stares at the screen and his brows instinctively pull close and tight.

Why aren't you picking up, Hvitserk?

"Any luck?" Alfred, his younger brother, stands in the doorway. He looks anxious; hands buried so deep into the single, long pocket of the oversized, borrowed hoodie to keep him from picking at his fingers in worry.

"No. It just keeps ringing." Thel's defeated and to pretend otherwise would be idiotic. Perhaps Hvitserk doesn't want to talk to him. Perhaps he doesn't want to see him anymore. "I should go over there and see if he's alright."

"At this time of night? What would mum say?"

That's hardly a threat and they both know it. Life at home hasn't always been plain sailing, especially with Alfred's illness and the fact that it's clear he's the favourite. But Thel doesn't mind. Quite the contrary; sometimes that leaves him free to do just about whatever he likes without much fear of repercussions.

Still, this? Maybe his brother is right. It's no time to be showing up unannounced.

"You're right, Alfie." That garners a smile from Alfred - nickname having been with him, practically since birth - and he turns to leave for his own room just as the dial tone strikes back into life.

Some seconds pass, long and unnecessary in Thel's opinion. He can only imagine what the excuse will be.

"Hello?" Ubbe's voice is quiet, softer even than usual and something about it sends a tingling jolt straight up Thel's spine. They're best friends - more like brothers, really - but some things just can't be denied.

"Is Hvitserk alright? He's not answering his phone."

There's a silence and Thel hears the heavy sigh come through loud and clear. In fact, it's far too close to the receiver for comfort.

"Our father came home." Four short words that set the scene for the whole conversation and the coming night. So easily let out and yet their weight now holds itself in the space between the two boys. "He has a way of speaking that isn't always what you would call nice."

And that's putting it lightly. In truth, Ragnar had come home after three long years of globe-trotting and demanded to know which of his sons intended to take over their family business. It was sudden and off-putting and had ruined the last of everyone's Sunday night.

He'd barely spoken to Ivar, choosing instead to focus on Ubbe and Bjørn as his successors. And why not? They are the oldest of his sons. Why wouldn't they want to inherit his empire, his wealth, his standing in Scandinavian society?

Because, for one, Ubbe had told him, he was still in school and wanted very much to become something other than what had come before him. Bjørn had said much the same; giving details that he was going into business with their uncle Floki for a while.

That left Hvitserk and Sigurd and being faced with a father he hadn't seen for years, yelling into his face and asking if he's man enough, wasn't the ideal reunion.

It also explains exactly why none of the brothers have been at school for the past two days. Now Thel understands and his heart eases off its hammering just a little.

"Do you think Hvitserk would see me, if I came over there?"

For the first time in the conversation, Ubbe seems to relax. The sigh slips into something more amused and he hums, lowly. "I think so, yes. It's a shame you like him so much. I could use someone like you right now. Calling at midnight and asking to come over, just to see me."

Shame indeed. Were it not for the fact of Ubbe's younger brother's charm, Thel might have eventually fallen out of friendship and into love with him, instead. But both know it's not to be and there's a moment of comfortable silence.

"I'm on my way, then."

They hang up and Thel takes a deep breath, relieved that the sudden silence isn't anything he's done.

Dressing warmly, Thel makes his way down the stairs and out into the night with a single thought; how can he cheer up his boyfriend?

Several different ideas run through his mind as he walks the short distance from one house to the other. He could pick a flower from each of the gardens on the way and present them to Hvitserk. He could jog to the 24-hour corner shop and buy him some sweets or a large bag of popcorn. Or he could just bring himself and the space between his waiting arms that so perfectly encompasses the one he's chosen to show and give his heart to.

That sounds about right. Sappy as it is.

Coming to the Lothbrok house, Thel slows and considers his ways of entrance.

Knocking on the front door is definitely out. That's far too obvious, isn't it? Plus, he doesn't know who might be sleeping. There is a light on in the living room but the windows blinds are all the way down and disturbing whoever is inside might not end well. Especially if it's Ragnar.

As he's standing there, looking at the house, a throat clears and sends him almost out of his skin.

"Staring won't get you anywhere." Flame of a lighter flickers into life and, for a few seconds, the identity of the voice shows itself. Then it's gone. Thel stands his ground, though, relief filling his veins now instead of fear.

"And scaring the shit out of teenagers won't get you anywhere, either."

Tongue kisses teeth in a gesture of disappointment at the language and Rollo stands up, causing the lamp above the side door to come on, illuminating him. The sterile shade reminds Thel of a hospital.

"What are you doing here, Aethelred?" Rollo asks on the exhale of his cigarette, smoke blown in a steady stream as his eyes focus on the boy before him. "It's a little late for studying, isn't it?" His expression holds so much knowing.

"I'm here to see Hvitserk." And that's all the explanation he's going to give.

"So it's true then? The two of you-" Rollo cuts himself off as he takes another drag on the cigarette, which now looks as though it's due to be snubbed out any moment. He holds in the smoke to delay but lets it out as he comes closer, towering over Thel the way one does when he should be feared.

Flicking away the cigarette gives a single notion.

Threat.

Instead though, it's an embrace that passes between them. A hefty one in which Thel is lifted quite literally off of his feet. And a hearty laugh bellows uncaring from Rollo's chest, still rumbling as he lets go and claps both hands to the teen's shoulders, looking him over.

"You're both terrible at hiding things, you know. Anyone with eyes can see your affection for each other." Maybe in the dark it's easier for him to say things like this; the veil of night covering all manner of distress at discussing affairs of the heart. Lagertha and Siggy have both torn him apart in their own ways but love spreads just as much as anything else. "Now," he sniffs and clears his throat, squeezing one of Thel's shoulders. "Do you need help getting into his window?"

"What?" What, indeed. Thel blinks up at Rollo, brows coming together as they had earlier over the screen of his mobile phone. "I was going to use the front door." He lies and hopes it's convincing.

It isn't.

"Nonsense. You English need to have more adventure." Rollo observes, all the while leading Thel towards the overhang beneath Hvitserk's bedroom window.

They come to stand, looking up at it together. From on the ground, it doesn't seem too daunting but Thel isn't keen on breaking a bone when he's got a big game at the end of the week.

"You expect me to climb up there?" Thel shakes his head, wishing he had asked Ubbe to wait up and let him in. Better than risking life and limb for the sake of adventure. In fact, he's sure Hvitserk would prefer he arrive in once piece and upset Ragnar than show up and immediately have to spend the next day and a half in the hospital with him because he fell.

"Come on. I'll help you."

Bending at the knees, Rollo widens his stance and lays his hands palms up in front of him, interlocking his fingers. He gestures for Thel to come closer with a jerk of his chin. Silently his eyes say he'll never forgive Thel if he doesn't find the courage to at least try it.

"Oh, fine. Fine." Thel huffs and, putting one hand firmly on Rollo's shoulder, he lifts a foot and places it into the waiting hands. One swift motion sees him launched up and onto the overhang. No problem whatsoever.

Rollo gives him a thumbs up for good luck and disappears, presumably to smoke some more.

Then it's just a glass pane that separates him from the one he loves. It feels strange to think, let alone to say, especially given that each of them is so young but, apparently, when you know, you know. And he knows.

Crawling on his hands and knees, uncaring as to the scuff to his black jeans, Thel gets close enough to see his own breath fog up the window and he pauses to peer inside. One hand cups over his eyes, blocking out the light of a nearby streetlamp.

Hvitserk is on his bed, curled around his blanket. One leg on top, one beneath. He wears only a pair of bottoms - Thel's, he notices. They're a loose fit and black and the pull strings are frayed from years of play and fretting. They're old but, somehow, Hvitserk makes them new. He makes everything new; vibrant.

The catch is unlocked so he doesn't even have to struggle with it before he's pushing up the window and slipping through. Hvitserk would say he's like Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible but that's difficult to believe.

Cool air moves the curtains and breathes life into what is otherwise a morbidly still room. Hvitserk's mobile phone lays dormant on his bed, placed in the concave created by his rounded position. As though he just watched Thel calling and calling and chose to ignore it.

No.

Maybe he couldn't bring himself to answer. Shock does strange things to people. Aethelred's own parents almost divorced when his father found out Alfred wasn't his. But they worked through things, eventually. So he's all-too-aware of just how debilitating that emotion can be.

"Hvitserk?" Thel whispers into the dark. It's the softest he's ever spoken and thinks, perhaps, he didn't actually make any sound at all. So, he tries again, not wanting to startle Hvitserk too much if he wakes.

"Mmm?" The noise is an obvious sign of exhaustion and Hvitserk doesn't turn over, immediately. He clearly thinks it's one of his brothers; come to disturb what little sleep he's managed these past few days. "What is it, Ubbe?"

Chancing the gesture, Thel sits on the side of the bed and tentatively lowers a hand onto Hvitserk's exposed shoulder. "It isn't Ubbe. It's me."

"Hello... me." For the first time in days, Hvitserk smiles. His eyes are still closed but that simple touch to his shoulder - naked skin prickling at it - is enough to lift his spirits from even the deepest of depths. "How did you-?"

"Your window was unhooked. I've told you about leaving it that way. Strangers could get in." The hand moves from bare skin to sandy braids and Thel's long fingers gently sweep through, earning him a contented sigh.

A contented sigh that precedes Hvitserk's eyes opening heavily. He blinks, adjusting to the light. "Did you climb up here?" His brows furrow at the thought and he turns over fully now, onto his back. The side of Thel's face that is visible looks to be smiling but it's hard to tell.

"Your uncle tossed me." Doing his best impression of Gimli, Thel ducks his face and laughs. It's almost silent but the moment is one of utter closeness, despite the humour, and after a minute, even that dies away, leaving nothing but the gaze of a sad boy looking into the face of the one he knows can rescue him.

Abruptly, Hvitserk embraces Aethelred's waist; not sitting fully but no longer laying as still and placid as he had been.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer you before. My father-" The very fact that Hvitserk buries his face tells them both all they need to know about the life of that conversation. It needs to be cut short.

"Ubbe told me everything. So you don't have to explain."

It isn't made clear exactly what it is Hvitserk has to do but by the way Thel directs him steadily with a hand at the back of his neck, the other having moved now from soft hair to rubbing at the space between his shoulder blades, and kisses him, it doesn't appear to be anything too taxing. Just be kissed. Even he can manage that now.

For a long moment, there's nothing in the world but them and it's blissful. All the heavy decisions in their futures and all the things they've done wrong in the past just melt into nothing. They're living for the moment.

Lips leave their tender mark on one another as Thel pulls away, briefly, nose bumping Hvitserk's, along with a touch of their foreheads to bring about the signal of parting. Not that it lasts long. Tiredly, Hvitserk shuffles further towards the wall, letting the blanket tangle itself even tighter into his legs and Thel kicks off his shoes and strips down to his shorts.

As they get comfortable, skin presses against bed-warmed skin; the soft, downy hair of Thel's soft tummy tickling the small of Hvitserk's back. Naturally, a groping hand reaches and finds an arm to pull over and a hand to hold in the darkness. The same lips, too, now part and breathe as one, chests rising and falling together.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" The question comes around a yawn and Hvitserk hugs Thel closer to him, looking back briefly and offering himself up for another kiss. Aethelred gives it, freely, leaning in for a series of small, affectionate pecks. Each brings about a satisfied sigh.

"I will stay until you fall asleep."

[douxie-casperan]

♣ please

♣ - A fading memory

Memories are not meant to be held onto for forever. Even those claimed by a heart most dear begin to crack and fade akin to old photographs becoming blurrier sepia smudges as indistinct from any other despite any and all attempts to prevent as such. You may bolster them to stave the decay off that bit longer, use little reminders of what has been to help keep them alive far beyond the moments that originally bore them. Everyone does it for a variety of reasons and there’s an entire industry focused around mementos in both the tacky and legitimate. In his case perhaps he is a little overly sentimental about these things centuries on compared to most but it simply couldn’t be helped. There is just so much that happened that he never wants to forget and being around longer simply meant there were far more of them to pick from. They range from the littlest moments like the first-time trying his beloved twizzlers after Zoe had suggested it, stories that were told in only conversation over a few drinks he was probably not meant to have but got into the spirit of things anyway, places history would later consume without a trace left as borders that formed countries shifted this way and that, all the people who he had loved dearly… It didn’t feel right to let these things fade into nothingness, not after they’d meant so much.

Within a small box squirreled at the back of the wardrobe with a simple lock circled twice by a ward there is a stash of letters. Ranging all the way from a lost love in the country firmly known as Nahan  written in a neat Giripari script and wrapped in a ribbon of silk, from ‘friends’ that may well have been a bit more whereas others really do match the word to the tee. They are written in so many different languages and covered in the faintest traces of age, fingerprints and small tears at the edges where they had been read over and over under candlelight or something more modern. Each one is precious in their own way. None of these have ever been carried by a raven though, too much risk should they ever be discovered, but at least those particular correspondence the other party is still around. He's got piles of journals too. All carefully written in code through paranoia and the oldest of them barely able to hold onto their pages without threatening to spill their contents everywhere if even looked at funny. These ones are very different than any research done on the arcane, indeed these are more of a scatterings that he does not want lose, ones which trace a journey through towns, countries and across entire continents. The more recent ones even contain candid photographs harkening back to the days before mobiles and cloud services.

Douxie is sitting with one of the journals on a bed and having a careful gander. This one dates from the 16th century according to the notes he'd set before beginning any entries, back when kingdoms or empires ruled strong, boats had cemented themselves as a permanent fixture and discoveries poured in scarcely known by a humble traveller until presented themselves first-hand. The pair had found themselves in what would be dubbed the Ottoman Empire whilst following the coastline and ending up in, hm Izmir it might have been? Or fairly nearby at least. There were a lot of voices coming from the seas and inland being spoken so it was nice not standing out so much for a change. Even mentioned it at the time too from the looks of it. Does vaguely remember a man that stood a bit shorter than he does who took nonsense from nobody and humour even less but any attempts for more than those few words of description completely escape. Did he have green eyes or were they blue, he wonders. Was his hair barely growing off his head or halfway down his back? Did he imagine a necklace of an iron anchor or was that yet another face in the crowd of thousands who did instead? It’s a hateful blur riddled with guilt and with no one to blame.

With a drawn-out sigh he flops backwards allowing it drop onto his lap for pressing an arm over his own eyes out of not wanting to be blinded by the ridiculous fluorescent that flickered if you looked at it too much. Cheap motels for you, they just loved screaming tacky or badly maintained.

“Hey Arch, do you remember Kadri at all?”

From the scoffed sound from the pillows the answer would be a firm yes. He must have noticed which one he was reading from and put two and two together who he meant or they didn’t know many Kadri’s that stood out. Either way.

“Why pray tell are you thinking at all about that braggart?”

“Hey be nice, his baklava as amazing! You know he had to put a big show on for people so nobody would question it. Still surprised he told me the actual reason he even knew how to make it, mean can understand being worried I’d take it the wrong way.”

“True enough I suppose and he was kind enough to give you the recipe with the hazelnuts I believe it was? Perhaps you should try it again sometime assuming you can locate what it needed.”

“Eeeeh should be fine, think nowadays other places have been copying. Might be a nice little tribute? A guest being a cherished member of the family and all that. Certainly how he treated us according to what I’ve got written here.”

As they ease into chatter about their favourite foods they can recall trying while at the port the unspoken words are there too. They both know of how much he just doesn’t want to forget this one man who decided to take pity on a worn out stranger and his odd cat for a little bit longer before it all goes away completely. The kind ones who carried their own secrets deserved it.

[more-pokeimagines]

Stone cold body [02] - Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you for your feedback on the prologue, I’m really happy that you like the story so far! I hope you enjoy the first chapter as well. It got a lot longer than I expected when I started it but I like the way it turned out. Feedback is always appreciated.

Warnings: none

Present

You were absolutely sure that it was going to be a great day. The sky was bright blue and cloudless, the air warm enough that you decided to leave your hoodie in the car. You took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of the bushes and flowers that surrounded the old market square in the center of Wyndon.

It was the fourth day of your road trip, together with your best friends Hop and Gloria. You had known them both since your very first day of school and you quickly became so inseparable that people referred to you as the Siamese Triplets. You never spent a day, sometimes not even an hour without each other, almost as if you were attached to each others' hips. Later on, everyone, including your parents, called you the Chaotic Trio, mostly because Hop loved to play pranks on other people and always put you and Gloria up to keep watch while he prepared everything. School had been great with your friends by your side. You had always been there for each other, even when Gloria and Hop got together a few weeks before your final exams, and when they asked you if you wanted to go on a road trip with them right after graduation, you simply couldn't say No.

So far, everything had been perfect. You had spent a lot of time exploring the cities surrounding your home town, visiting ruins of ancient castles and underground vaults that had been abandoned centuries ago but besides that, you also went for a stroll around town more than once because Gloria loved shopping more than anything else. You, on the other hand, weren't a big fan of it, just like Hop, but since you wanted your friends to enjoy your holiday as well, you were more than fine with striking a compromise. If Gloria agreed to visit old, dusty places with you, you could definitely spend some time in a boutique without complaining.

“Hey, (Y/N).” Hop's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He pointed towards the fountain in the middle of the square and held his phone up. “I'm taking a picture of Gloria in front of the fountain, do you wanna join her?”

You shook your head. While Gloria never missed an opportunity to upload photos from your trip to her personal social media account, you liked to keep everything a bit more private. You also weren't the biggest fan of seeing yourself in a photograph, so you usually made sure that you stayed as far away from Gloria as possible when she started snapping photos. In the past, it had happened more than once that she managed to take a picture when you weren't looking, so you had promised yourself to be extra careful in the future.

While Gloria was posing in front of the fountain, making faces at Hop who giggled behind his phone, you wandered around on the square. It was surrounded by a variety of restaurants, cafés and cute, little shops that sold all kinds of souvenirs and hand-crafted goods like candles, jewelry and small paintings of Wyndon's old town. You took a few minutes to inspect one of the paintings. It showed the square in the middle of winter, the fountain covered in snow.Everything looked peaceful and calm, not as busy and overcrowded as during the summer months.

You knew that Wyndon was famous for its history. The royal family had lived and died here, many, many years ago when the growing city had been surrounded by woods and wild nature. People could still visit the King's castle and explore the ruins up on the hill on the left side of the old town. The square you were currently visiting had been the commercial center back then; people came from far and wide to sell their goods or to bask in the King's favor when he and his guards visited the market.

But the historical value of Wyndon wasn't the only reason why people still traveled here. Most of them didn't even care about the castle or the various museums about the royal family. No, Wyndon was still the magical center of Galar, no matter how modern and developed the city was. Of course almost no one practiced magic anymore, as most sorcerers had been killed during the Great Hunt nearly three centuries ago. But there were still people out there who believed that their descendants would bring the magic back one day.

Utter nonsense, at least in your opinion. The magic had disappeared when the King had burned the last sorcerer at the stake, and it would never return. People didn't need magic anymore, they had machines and other technical playthings to solve their problems. But of course the whole story was still a nice magnet for tourists – even you couldn't deny that.

You sat down on a bench next to a souvenir shop while you waited for Gloria and Hop to finish their photo session. It was fun to watch them though, making faces at each other and striking the most exaggerated poses. Obviously, they were having fun, and you couldn't help but laugh when Gloria tried to climb onto the railing that surrounded the fountain to get a better shot. Hop was laughing too. “Stop it,” he said. “I'm not going to help you if you fall.”

Gloria grimaced at him once again but eventually, she let go of the railing and returned back to his side to have a look at the photos. You watched her scrolling through her camera roll, sometimes deleting a picture she didn't like while Hop was peeking over her shoulder to make an occasional comment about the photos. “That's pretty,” he told her and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. Gloria giggled. “Don't be stupid. I look like a scarecrow.”

“You always look like a scarecrow, so that's not really a surprise,” you said and put on the most innocent smile as Gloria flashed her eyes at you. “Oh shush, will you.”

You blew her a kiss. “I love you too.”

*

Half an hour later, the three of you sat in a café right by the old market square. Gloria still hadn't decided which photo she wanted to upload to her social media accounts and therefore was busy with her phone while Hop and you discussed the plans for the next few days. Because there was so much to see in Wyndon, you had decided to spend more than just one day here but now, you needed to figure out which places you actually wanted to visit. Originally, you had planned to skip the history museums and just visit the castle. As far as you knew, there was a temporary exhibition about Galar's history and the royal family, so it should be enough to go there instead of spending hours in different museums.

“It would be a waste of time to travel all the way to Wyndon and then not even visit the castle,” you said and took a sip from your coffee. Next to you, Hop nodded. “Yeah, right. I mean, our teachers told us so much about it that I really want to see it. I bet it's absolutely impressive.”

“True,” you replied. Since Wyndon's council spent tons of money every year to preserve the castle, you were sure that it was still as stunning as in the past when the royal family had lived there. You had caught a glimpse of it when you entered the city. It was located on a hill a few kilometers away from Wyndon, surrounded by a thick palace wall and a few tall trees that towered over the building.

Across the table, Gloria let out a dreamy sigh. “Don't forget that we need to pay the prince a courtesy visit too.”

Right, the prince. You had almost forgotten about him and the stupid legend that surrounded the statue in a nearby park. To you, it still was incomprehensible that there were a lot of people out there who believed that the prince had been turned into stone a long time ago but the fact that they were convinced that his soulmate would be able to break the curse was far more idiotic.

“Really?” you asked, barely containing yourself from rolling your eyes. You knew that Gloria was a hopeless romantic and that she loved stories like that but up to this point you hadn't expected her to be so passionate about it. “You know that it's just a story someone made up to attract tourists, right? There's nothing magical about that statue.”

You hadn't planned to sound so hostile and when you realized that both Hop and Gloria eyed you curiously, you took a deep breath and added, “I'm sorry but you know that I don't believe in stuff like that, all magic aside.”

“I don't think it's true either,” Hop tossed in. “But who says that it's impossible? It's proven that there were powerful sorcerers in Galar a long time ago, so who knows?”

Gloria beamed at her boyfriend, obviously happy about the fact that he sided with her. “See, (Y/N), even Hop wants to see the statue.”

You held back a sigh. There was no reason for behaving like that, you knew that, but a part of you wanted to refuse to visit the statue so bad that you almost felt like you were going crazy. You had no idea why you disliked Gloria's idea so much and yet, you couldn't help but try to find an excuse why you didn't want to join them.

The next second, you scolded yourself in your thoughts. You were acting like a child; it made absolutely no sense that you wanted to stay here while your best friends went to see the statue – it had been your idea to travel to Wyndon, after all.

“Okay,” you finally said and tried to give both Hop and Gloria a smile. “Let's go.”

*

It didn't take you long to arrive at the small park where the statue was located. Only fifteen minutes away from the old town of Wyndon, and still you felt like you had just entered a fairytale world. Winding paths, carefully arranged and yet untamed flowerbeds, the branches of giant weeping willows hanging over ponds that were covered with water lilies. And somewhere in between all of that – the statue.

The history books told that the enchanted prince's sister Carlina had built the park as his final resting place after he disappeared because he had always loved to be surrounded by beautiful things. You weren't too sure about that but even you had to admit that the park was one of the loveliest things you had ever seen. The only thing that disturbed the peace was the massive amount of tourists. They were everywhere, chatting with each other and taking quick snapshots of their surroundings to show them to their friends and family at home. Some of them were already rushing to the center of the park to see the famous statue, their phones and cameras ready.

Once again, you sighed quietly. You weren’t too fond of overly crowded places like this but since you didn’t want to spoil the party, you forced yourself to smile at Gloria when she appeared next to you. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked in a hushed tone.

You nodded. “Yeah. I just wish there were less people here.”

“I know,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “It will take forever til we can take some selfies with the statue. But I really want to see if the story is true, so… come one, let’s go. We have to hurry if we don’t want to wait for hours.” With that, Gloria linked arms with you and smiled. “Ready to go?”

You let her drag you along without complaining, especially since you knew that it would be useless to talk back to her at this point. When it came to things like that, Gloria always got her way, no matter what others told her, and while you usually admired her for her willpower, you weren’t sure what to think about it in moments like this.

As you followed her through the park, occasionally admiring your surroundings, you found yourself thinking about the legend again. You knew that magic existed in this world and that there had been people who were able to cast powerful spells but still, you couldn’t imagine that the rumors about the statue were true. Even if someone actually managed to turn the prince into stone, it was absolutely impossible that he was still alive after all these years. The whole story about his soulmate redeeming him was just something that people made up to attract more tourists. And apparently, it worked pretty well: hopeless romantics came from all over the country to see if they were the one to save the prince.

And then, the statue appeared in front of you. It was smaller than you had expected, and the material looked oddly similar to withered marble, not actual stone. The expression on his face was hard to read but his posture was easier to understand. He was on his knees, his right arm outstretched, as if he had tried to reach for someone to help him, and you suddenly felt a lump in your throat. You hadn’t expected to feel sorry for him.

Don’t be stupid, (Y/N), you told yourself quietly, it’s just a statue. There’s no need to be sorry.

But there was another feeling too. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it but you couldn’t deny that you felt something else than pity… a strange kind of satisfaction you couldn’t explain. A moment later, a thought that definitely wasn’t yours crossed your mind. He got what he deserved.

You shook your head in confusion; then you brought your attention back to the statue. Two girls were posing next to the prince; one wrapped her arms around him and the other one rested her head on his stony shoulder as another girl quickly took some pictures of them.

Next to you, Hop huffed and nudged you with his elbow. “Wanna bet that they thought something would happen?”

“Everyone here thinks that something is going to happen when the right person touches him,” you answered drily. “But hey, what do I care.”

“Shh,” Gloria interrupted you. “You’re way too pessimistic today, (Y/N).”

“You’re next,” you said. Not exactly the answer she was expecting, you could see that in her eyes, but thankfully, she turned away nevertheless and made her way towards the statue as soon as the other girls left. She patted the prince’s head. “Hey there.”

Hop laughed. “Ready?”

“Yep!” She threw herself into a pose, then into another one and in the end, she even got to her knees to act like she was pressing a kiss to the statue’s cheek. Then, she winked at you. “Wanna try it too, (Y/N)?”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to take a photo.”

“Of course you do! Come on, it’s fun.”

“It could be a nice memory,” Hop said. You raised your eyebrows. “Really? You’re stabbing me in the back?”

“It’s just a photo,” he added, pretending he didn’t hear your interjection. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he gently shoved you forward. Gloria quickly grabbed your arm before you could move backwards again and poked you in the ribs. “Just one photo, please.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, okay. But I don’t want to see that anywhere on social media, do you understand?”

She nodded, already making her way back to Hop and pulling her camera out of her backpack. “Don’t just stand there,” she said. “Put your arm around him or something like that.”

With a forced smile, you put your hand on the statue’s shoulder.

The camera clicked; you felt something crumble right underneath your fingers, and suddenly it was not longer stone you were touching but soft fabric. The next thing you knew was that someone stumbled right into your arms, dragging you to the ground with them.

Next / Masterlist