#none of this is in chronological order
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iridescent-serpent · 3 months ago
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Also I may have fallen into a Star Wars shaped hole. I need help yall. Specifically I need anything Darth Vader redemption arc (but he keeps the suit) shaped thing to help me out of said hole. (They always give him skin I want that man Crispy)
Anyways, got dragged kicking and screaming into Star Wars as a whole by, of all things, DarthFett! (Aka darth vader x boba fett). Which is unsurprising as helmeted badasses with more mental illnesses between them than the entire internet is a Very fun ship concept.
Anyways, take my poorly photo’d sketches
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Also, shoutout to the Ao3 fic Armor Black and Beautiful by DaughterOfDungeonBat as it’s what primarily captured me into liking the ship.
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emphasisonthehomo · 5 months ago
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WIP Word Game
Rules: You will be given a word, then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word.
RAIN tagged by @al-the-remix! Thank you so much!
These are all taken from the Popstar!au.
R: “Really?” Buck asks, “Coulda fooled me.” “He did,” Eddie rolls his eyes, “I was talking to him yesterday, he’s never played MSG.” “Tommy’s worried about MSG?” Buck frowns. “You’re worried about MSG,” Eddie says, looking taken aback at Buck’s surprise.    “Well yeah, but I’m worried about everything right now,” Buck admits. A: “And I got recognized, and she–I could see her filming me from across the gym!” Tommy says, gesturing at nothing. “Ah, the burden of fame, too heavy for the shoulders it sits on,” Eddie intones from where he’s still laid out on the floor. “Do you not get recognized?” Buck asks. Surely Tommy's band is big enough for that. “Not at the gym,” Tommy says, clearly still frazzled, “I get recognized at festivals! And once at a grocery store, but that was in Finland.” I: “It’s gonna be gotcha questions,” Buck warns.  “I know,” Tommy leans against the seat and closes his eyes, “I’ve never really done a mainstream music interview, but I know some people who have. Sometimes there’s a lack of…respect, I guess. What I do is just noise and garbage.” “We’ll be fine,” Buck finds himself saying, “Let me handle most of it, I’ve done interviews with them before. You can just sit there and look pretty.” N: “Nah, I know a place,” Tommy says, snagging Buck by the wrist and tugging him in the exact opposite direction the bus. Tommy’s got big hands. His fingers and palm feel like a brand against Buck’s skin. “How do you know a place?” Buck asks, bewildered as Tommy leads him through the maze of the venue’s back hallways. “There’s always nooks and crannies,” Tommy says confidently, before looking back over his shoulder and smirking widely, “I usually suck dick in them, but something tells me that’s not you need to talk about.”
I've seen this going around and have no idea who has already been tagged, so please consider this an open invitation! For the word: HEAVY.
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flapjack-biscuit-scone · 1 year ago
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costuming studies cuz these outfits are complex!!
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i'm gonna keep putting my infodumping under a cut lolol
i made these at the beginning of the year before my semester got crazy busy -w- i was PEAK hyperfixation at this point cuz i don't usually render stuff to this level unless its a finished piece
my plan here was to draw them as accurate as i could to teach myself how they look. then after i could go wild with stylizing them. i do like the level of detail and movie accuracy here but my animator brain forces me to simplify >3>
i've also think i've gotten better at replicating their likeness since making this. their faces here aren't bad but not my favorite lol
anyway thank u for indulging me
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quinloki · 4 months ago
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9 real jobs, 1 fake one.
I’m listing 9 real jobs I’ve had, and one I haven’t had.
You try to guess the fake one.
Whether you’re wrong or right, I’ll give you an anecdote about my time at that job (meaning I will lie even if you’re right). Since I do what I do, I’ll have fun with it and include blorbos in the snippets.
Tomorrow, or tonight if you all flood me with guesses xD, I’ll post which one was the fake job.
1) Long-Haul Truck Rim Manufacturer
2) Theater Waiter
3) Database Analyst
4) Bodyguard
5) Soap Manufacturer
6) Video Game Retail Worker
7) Bank Teller
8.) Hospital Janitor
9) Vacuum Salesperson
10) Government Employee
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indigothemuse · 2 months ago
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Gem- Hermit a Day May
HI!! its not a secret that Gem is my favorite hermit (today has been like catnip for me) but man did her day for the Eclipsed Au give me trouble </3 she kept trying to reveal things that im keeping secret for the actual au that will go on ao3 </3
anyways! i hope you enjoy!!
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Gem stands at the top of Exeggutor Island, staring at the small shrine. The sun flute is a heavy weight in her bag. It’s been a year since she’s even needed it, but she can’t bring herself to let go of it. 
The wind blows her hair in front of her, briefly obscuring her vision. She’s never felt alone in Alola before. Not when anywhere she looked, she could see or feel the presence of something else. 
No one lives on Exeggutor Island. The exeggutor are mostly asleep in the midday sun, and so she’s left…alone. Her pokemon are back at her little house in Iki Town. Decidueye and Delphox—Sherlock and Daphne—are the only pokemon who came with her, mainly because they’ll both pitch a fit. But as long as she’s quiet, the exeggutor won’t wake up. 
So Gem, for the first time in a year, is…alone. She came here on Charizard, not taking the ferry or the boat ride from the chief of Seafolk Village, so it’s just her. 
“Thank you,” she starts, speaking to the shrine. “I know it was a long, hard road for both of us. But…thank you. For trusting me to help you, even when we messed up. I’m sorry they hurt you for so long. And…they can’t anymore. Which you know, obviously.
“I heard that Pearl will be coming back in a few months. I’m a little worried, honestly. We’re on good terms now, but…what if it’s weird when we see each other in person? What if she’s actually mad at me, and didn’t realize?” Gem shakes her head, dislodging the thoughts. “But she wouldn’t. That’s not Pearl.” The words carry a weight they couldn’t just last year—not before she knew Pearl, but before she knew Pearl. 
She squeezes the crescent moon shaped pendant hanging around her neck. She should probably go back home soon. Back to her little house in Iki Town. Back to researching with Etho, and doing cool tricks with her pokemon for the little kids who stare at her with awestruck eyes. 
Maybe she’ll call False later. See how she’s doing, over in Kalos. Or she could travel over to Akala, and bother Impulse about his latest jewelry making idea. 
Gem might be alone but she’s never alone. She’s not some faceless person in the crowd anymore, either. 
But for now, she stands and looks at the shrine to Solgaleo and the Tapu. Hundreds of feet have stood where she stands now, and her feet rest in the small divots present. Hundreds of people will stand where she is now, from challengers to tourists to anyone who desires to come see the former trial site. Maybe she’ll promote making it one again. The dragon trial is good, but they could use another one out here.
Gem breathes in the salty air and smiles. It’s okay. No matter what happens next, when Pearl comes back or if the Ultra Beasts try to make another appearance, it’ll be okay.
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becasbelt · 11 months ago
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arcane brainrot is actually so painful like how am i supposed to focus at work after seeing that caitlyn poster. how am i supposed to go about my day now that the arcane worms are eating my brains again
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wpmz · 5 months ago
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ship making me feel so insane i’m considering writing an essay. with citations and shit. for fun. what’s happening to me
#tag rant warning. expand with caution#i don’t even know what the main point would be necessarily. besides me pointing and going ‘these 2 are NOT normal about each other’#but honestly that’s kind of what i need#i just need to pick them apart. i need to explain in excruciating detail how they act so i can articulate why it makes me lose my mind#and if anyone is wondering. i will now admit in the tags this post is about m.inecraft rp. life s.eries e.thubs specifically#<-sorry for annoying censoring i don’t want this to show up in main tags#i blame w.ild life honestly. came out right when i was getting back into that side of m.cyt. eth.ubs teamed together#and it reminded me i am in fact insane. and then i decided to rewatch bd.ubs l.ast life#and then the same hyperfixation demon that gripped me in 2021 reawakened and grabbed me by the throat#AND THEN. i decide to watch l.imlife and s.ecret life bc i had drifted from the fandom when they came out#and that has only served to make me so much worse#what was in the WATER in l.imited life#cleo’s ‘why can’t you be normal about etho!’ haunts me everyday. why Can’t he be normal about etho#clockers in general drives me insane actually. but i will not get into that here#this tag rant has been entirely too long. but now maybe you understand the essay thing#like one of the reasons i didn’t want to go back to school after i graduated community college was bc i was sick of writing essays#and here i am. sitting here like ‘what if i rewatched both their l.ife series povs in chronological order and took detailed notes#so that i can write some kind of essay. or make a clip compilation. or make a dramatic comic. haven’t even mentioned those yet#bc those are also ideas floating around in my mind#or maybe i will do none of these things and go back to writing unfinished fanfiction and making unfinished art and posting none of it#only time will tell#moss.txt
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mad-bird-writes · 9 months ago
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today: I'll be honest with y'all, I'm struggling more than a bit, but I treated myself to some art supplies today, and I'm making plans to get back into the swing of writing for the blog after the weekend!
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thechaoticfanartist · 1 year ago
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Minecraft Screenshot dump from the world @traygaming and I have been playing in.
Bonus:
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rosy-hollow · 1 month ago
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So, it's basically canon that Pro Heroes come to assist heroes in training at UA, right?
Just imagine the horror the new generation of heroes would face when they realize that their opponent for training that day is none other than the Number Two Pro Hero, Dynamight.
It's a hero team vs villain simulation - a joint practice between both hero course classes - Katsuki basically has free range to destroy the mock city UA had built and the students had to prevent him from doing so, which was really just a waste of money because of the Pro Hero's already destructive tendencies.
He already had to regulate himself for Pro Hero work, so this was really just waving the reg flag in front of the bull.
Needless to say, they all got their asses kicked, all 40 of them. Whether it was due to falling debris or evading explosions, all of them were forced to wave their white flags eventually.
The students weren't so much in shock, they were in awe, of how a Pro Hero could be so powerful and intimidating, and well...badass.
Their main takeaway? Katsuki Bakugou was an impenetrable force to be reckoned with.
Or... at least for a few minutes.
You can imagine the shock on their faces when the grim and serious expression on Dynamight's face melts instantly when he hears a voice speak up behind him.
"Katsuki, if you keep frowning all the time, you're going to get wrinkles."
He turns around, a rare smile stretching across his face as he stares at you, his wife, like you're the only person in the world at that moment, like you're the only one that matters.
"Tch. I don't get wrinkle lines, woman. Yer just seein' things."Despite his slight harsh words, they're softer, somehow, and the happy twinkle in his eyes is unmistakable.
The students gape at each other. The Dynamight, Katsuki Bakugou , in love? The same pro hero that was wreaking havoc and creating carnage in his wake was the same one now staring at his wife with a dopey grin and peppering kisses across your face.
"Katsuki!" You whine, but it looses its credibility as you start to laugh at his antics. "What's gotten into you, huh?" you ask, a little softer, so that only he could hear.
He looks at you, a soft look in his eyes as he kisses you gently and lovingly pulling away to admire your pretty face.
"M'just feeling sentimental I guess... We were probably their age when we started dating huh?" He says, referring to the students.
You snort, recalling the time when Katsuki first asked you out. "Aww...is my baby feeling sentimental? You were a dork back then."
Katsuki looks offended and his grumbles, nipping your jawline in annoyance."Oi. I was not a dork back then. If anything, Izuku was the dork."
You smile teasingly, kissing his nose, effectively shutting your explosive husband up.
"Is that so? Because I recall you had your All Might posters set up in chronological order of his costume eras."
Katsuki's ears turn red and his large hand wraps around the back of your hand, burying your face in his chest.
"Shaddup woman. Yer the one who fell for this dork in the first place."
You laugh, your voice muffled by his chest, but he can still hear you just fine. Looking up at him you smile.
"You may be a dork, but you're my dork."
The students watch is abosolute shock, mouth gaping open as they wonder how the hell you were able to render Katsuki Bakugou to the sappy man they saw in front of them.
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A/N: on the repost grind this one is so cute hehe
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written4u · 2 months ago
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Oddity¹ ! LN04
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PAIRING 𝄡 Lando Norris x Oscar's PA! FemReader, Oscar Piastri x PA! FemReader ( platonic )
SUMMARY 𝄡 Though Oscar's teammate is the strangest man you've ever met, you cannot help but find this oddity charming.
IN THIS CHAPTER... Desperate for a job, you apply to be a personal assistant for a ‘one-of-a-kind young talent in motorsports.’ It's harder than it looks, but only because your new employer is dead set on being a pain in the ass. And what's the deal with his new teammate?
TAGS 𝄡 Angst. Fluff.
WORDCOUNT 𝄡 6k.
NOTE 𝄡 Everyone loved the pairing, so I wrote the series⏤it's as simple as that. What do we think? Not much Lando in this chapter but Oscar and Reader's subplot has my entire heart! I tweaked the chronology a bit because I can. ( not edited. if you see a typo⏤no, you didn't. ) <33
For a better experience, read this story in light mode! ( use of black writing on transparent background )
likes, comments, reblogs are much appreciated!
━━━━ ❦ Chapter II.
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‘Mark Webber’ sounded like an important name, enough to have its gold plaque hanging on a solid oak door.
The man who opened it matched that image—serene and proud, the kind of man that had known glory, however small, in the past. Mark Webber's charisma was undeniable, yes, but the expectation that lit up his face as he extended a hand toward you, the need for recognition clearly visible in his eyes, made him so painfully human that your shoulders relaxed.
He may have been the manager of your future client—a ‘one-of-a-kind young talent in motorsports' according to the job description—but he was still a man, and you knew how to deal with those. Had been doing it for years during your bachelor’s degree and, later on, your master’s in business administration and management. Those so-called “sons of” or “self-made men” proliferated in Harvard, waiting for one thing only: for you to recognize them without ever needing to introduce themselves.
But because you desperately needed this job and hadn’t gone through three interviews for nothing, you swallowed your pride, smiled, and extended your hand.
“Mr. Webber, it’s an honour to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine, Miss L/N. Thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m afraid time is not on our side right now. I do hope you had a moment to look over the contract HR sent you.”
He led you to his office, cluttered with paperwork. You winced at the chaos, resisting the urge to bring order to the madness. Instead, you sat down, crossed your legs, and pulled the employment contract from your folder.
Your very own Holy Grail.
“Here’s my copy. Initialled and signed.”
You had shed a few tears as you slid the pen across the page—a strange blend of relief and frustration. One of those emotions only fate itself could concoct. Because you had not planned this. Not at all. For years, you had envisioned yourself as a talent agent, maybe a manager at a publicly traded company—but certainly not the personal assistant to one Oscar Piastri, whose name you hadn’t even known three weeks earlier.
When life gives you lemons, learn to make lemonade or suffer their bitterness, your grandmother used to say.
You had chosen your side quickly, picked the lemons yourself, pressed them, sweetened the juice, and learned to savour the taste. You who had never liked citrus fruits had now convinced yourself to see in that pale yellow flesh a sign of future success, of stability.
How many lemon trees would you need to harvest before your parents got used to the sourness?
Watching their prodigy of a daughter become a ‘rich man’s servant’, after paying for five years at Harvard, was a truth they struggled to swallow—a sourness lodged in the throat, leaving behind the bitter tang of defeat.
When you had graduated summa cum laude, your parents had imagined you’d be drowning in job offers. But reality hit hard. Brutally hard. Intelligence alone wasn’t enough. The world’s best companies didn’t hire without connections, and you had none.
The first disillusionment in life stings like nothing else.
So, you had to swallow your pride, lower your standards, and look elsewhere. Anything, really—anything but unemployment and long days spent contemplating the wreckage of your ambitions.
Anything but failure.
The job description had arrived in your inbox amid hundreds of others. That night, you had drunk two glasses of red wine—maybe more—your cheeks streaked with mascara and the remnants of your frustration. You had received two rejections that very morning. Overqualified, they had said.
Bullshit, you replied. They just didn’t want to pay you what your degrees were worth.
For months now, you had been suffering—stuck in this purgatory. Too qualified for some roles, not enough for others. The adjectives varied, but the outcome remained the same. You barely needed to read the emails anymore. You knew the words by heart.
After reviewing your profile, and despite its many strengths, we have decided not to move forward with your application.
It was with those words echoing in your mind that you clicked on the job offer. Personal Assistant. Your eyes widened at the jaw-dropping salary and the list of benefits.
“What the actual fuck?” you mumbled.
Suddenly sobered, you sat up straight and read the required qualifications eagerly, a flicker of hope warming your chest for the first time in weeks. The words were generic—experience, organisation, management, flexibility—but you welcomed their familiarity.
Your internship with one of New York’s top CEOs—the one your classmates had mocked, claiming “it wasn’t a real internship with real responsibilities”—was finally proving useful.
You took another long sip of wine and hastily drafted a cover letter, attached your resumé, and submitted them via the designated portal.
The next day, you received an email with an interview date.
A month later, you found yourself in the heart of London, ready to sign your first real contract—no matter what your parents thought on the matter.
You blinked away the sound of their voices. You wouldn’t let a few bitter scraps of lemon zest ruin what was beginning to look like a stroke of fate. Instead, you watched Mr. Webber sign the contract. With each initial written on the paper, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders.
That’s it, you thought. I have a job.
Yes, being a personal assistant wasn’t the career you had dreamt of; yes, you were overqualified—but it was still a job. And a well-paid one. Probably better than a quarter of your former classmates now working as marketing consultants.
Mark Webber capped his pen and smiled at you.
“Well then, welcome aboard.”
You couldn’t suppress the laugh of pure relief that shook your shoulders as you tucked the signed contract back into the folder.
Webber rummaged through the chaos on his desk and pulled from its depths a rectangular white box, which he slid across to you. A brand-new iPhone 14.
“Here’s your work phone. I’ve already inserted the SIM card. I don’t know if you’ve worked with this kind of setup before, but it’s a bit different from a regular iPhone—more secure, more restricted. Oh, and I almost forgot the most important part: HR should send you an email within the next couple of days with information you need to have, including Oscar’s number.”
“Of course.”
“You’ll meet him soon enough. I’d like the two of you to feel comfortable around each other as soon as possible. It’s his first season as a full-time driver and his first time working with a personal assistant. I want everything to go smoothly.”
“Naturally.”
Mark Webber sank back into his chair, eyes fixed on you. You held his gaze. He smiled.
“I’ve got a good feeling about you. I had it the moment I saw your CV.”
“I won’t let you down,” you promised.
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Just like Mark—who had insisted you call him that—had said, the meeting with Oscar came swiftly. An email arrived in your inbox four days after your interviews, listing a time and an address.
Six days later, as winter tightened its grip on England with sharp winds and grey skies, you wandered through the deserted streets of Hertford for several minutes before stumbling upon a building that looked quintessentially British—red brick walls, single-hung white windows—the kind your grandparents had once lived in. It was unremarkable, to the point that you wondered if you had typed in the wrong address in Maps. Didn’t Formula 1 drivers earn outrageous salaries?
A gust of wind stung your cheeks. You pulled your coat tighter around you and pressed the doorbell labeled “O. Piastri.” The ink on the name was nearly washed away, chased by the rain and all the other pleasantries of English weather. Mother Nature herself seemed determined to guard his anonymity.
“You can come up. Third floor, last door on the left.”
Mark’s voice crackled through the intercom, as though his client had no voice of his own. Your mind wandered: would he sound the same, or had his years in England worn away his accent, like the ink on his doorbell?
Apartment 3B’s door appeared sooner than you expected, leaving you no time to steel yourself. This was a decisive moment. If Oscar Piastri didn’t like you—if he deemed you unfit for any reason—they would terminate your probationary period, and you would be cast back into the labyrinth of professional limbo.
I just need him to like me. Simple enough, right?
As you adjusted the collar of your sweater, the door opened to reveal Mark. He greeted you with a nod and stepped aside. You didn’t spare a glance for the apartment. Instead, your eyes fell immediately on the young man seated at the table. Your gazes locked.
You gulped.
You had read Oscar Piastri’s Wikipedia page, of course. Before you became an assistant, you had been a student, and if there was one thing you had mastered during that time, it was research. You had stuck only to the facts, never clicking on the suggested videos or press interviews—resolute in forming your own impression.
“Hello. I’m Y/N, pleased to meet you.”
“Oscar.”
Your handshake offered little reassurance, nor did the driver’s impassive expression. You swallowed again and instinctively hugged your notebook to your chest before taking a seat opposite him.
You listened half-heartedly as Mark launched into a stream of benign, reassuring remarks—an overview of your role you had already read over multiple times. Realizing you wouldn’t need to speak, you let yourself drift from the monologue and instead studied the boy you would be working for, scanning his impassive face for any hint on your potential dynamic.
Like many, you had seen The Devil Wears Prada, and while you were aware you weren’t going to work for Vogue, Formula 1 seemed every bit as cutthroat as the fashion world—catfights and sabotage didn’t seem far-fetched in a microcosm so thoroughly built by and for men.
“So, that’s everything,” Mark concluded. “Any questions?”
Oscar shook his head. You mirrored the gesture.
You both shook hands again, before you left Hertford with a new file in your handbag and a knot in your stomach.
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December faded; January dawned, bringing with it a new year and its obligations. You moved to Hertford, into a small townhouse not far from Oscar’s apartment, though you never found the courage to cross the neighborhood that separated you.
Instead, you improvised a home office on your dining table, where you set up your laptop and phone—devices you would stare at for hours, waiting for the screen to light up, though it never did despite the messages you had sent Oscar.
Would you like me to order a coffee for your video call with Zak Brown?
Do you need anything specific before your trip to Monaco?
When are you planning to leave for Australia? I’ll book the tickets.
You always left your ringer on, even through the night. Just in case he calls, you told yourself. But it never came. No calls. No messages. No requests. Just silence—heavy—and that infuriating “seen” icon.
At least Mark had the decency to keep you in the loop regarding Oscar’s upcoming obligations. The driver himself had all but vanished. His absence brewed a storm of emotions in you.
First doubt. Then anger.
Did Oscar think you incompetent? Did he consider himself above you?
You lasted a week before you snapped. One week of avoidance. One week of “seen.” One week of voicemails.
You retreated from your desk to your bed, turned off your ringer, and replaced calls and messages with emails—though those, too, went unanswered.
From: Y/N L/N < y/n.l/[email protected] > To: Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > CC: Mark WEBBER < [email protected] > Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > Subject: London–Australia Flight / Dec 14, 10:30
Dear Oscar,
Please find attached your outbound ticket to Melbourne, departing from London Gatwick on Dec 14 at 10:30 AM. A taxi has been booked to pick you up at 7:00 AM.
Let me know your preferred return date, and I’ll handle the booking promptly.
P.S. Don’t forget your Zoom meeting with Mr. Ellis Woodward from McLaren HR on Dec 18 at 9:30 AM London time (6:30 PM Melbourne time). Here's once again the link: https://zoom.us/j/814553
Wishing you happy holidays.
Kind regards, Y/N L/N y/n.l/[email protected]
[Attachment: Flight_OPiastri_LGWMEL_1412.pdf]
From: Y/N L/N < y/n.l/[email protected] > To: Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > CC: Mark WEBBER < [email protected] > Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > Subject: Offlane B.V. Meeting
Oscar,
Offlane would like to schedule a video call to discuss your website’s new branding. Mark emphasized that it should be handled before the New Year. Please let me know your availability.
Attached are the proposed designs for your review.
Regards,
Y/N L/N y/n.l/[email protected]
[Attachment: OSCARPIASTRI_FINAL_1224.zip]
From: Y/N L/N < y/n.l/[email protected] > To: Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > CC: Mark WEBBER < [email protected] > Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > Subject: Schedule & Meeting Change / Dec 30–Jan 5
Please find attached your schedule for the week. I’ve managed to free up Dec 31 to Jan 2.
Note that your meeting with Thomas Rogers from McLaren’s comms department has been moved from 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM (Melbourne time).
Y/N L/N y/n.l/[email protected]
[Attachment: Schedule_OP_06120125.pdf]
“I don’t understand why you hired me if Oscar flat-out refuses my help," you said one day, matter-of-factly. “He won’t even answer my emails.”
On your MacBook screen, Mark sighed. The sound crackled harshly in your ears. You grimaced, but quickly composed yourself, afraid he’d take the gesture personally, before turning the volume down and glancing around.
You had chosen this café for its peace. The barista was humming a familiar tune as he prepared lattes, and the only other customer was far too engrossed in her novel to care about you.
You found comfort in this silence. It was unlike the one at home—less oppressive, more soothing.
Your latte, sweetened with vanilla syrup, was going cold. Yet even masked by sugar, you couldn’t get rid of the bitterness that had seeped into all your meals.
Lately, the lemons life gave you were either underripe or rotten. Oscar Piastri had spoiled the lemonade recipe you had spent years perfecting. You had forgotten its tangy sweetness and were now biting into the bitter rind of failure.
“Oscar is... a guarded young man,” Mark replied after a suffocating pause. “That mess with Alpine and his contract didn’t help. From his perspective, you could betray him just like they did. McLaren are the only one he trusts right now. I think that’s why he’s counting on their PR assistant for now.”
You frowned. The statement stung more than you cared to admit. Mark must have sensed it, because he quickly added: “But don’t worry—I’ll speak to him. Things will improve. Whether he likes it or not, he needs an assistant. I’ve made that clear. Everything’s about to speed up come late January, and I want him focused on racing.”
“Then why didn’t you ask McLaren to hire someone if he trusts them so much?” you asked, your tongue thick with resentment.
“Because a contract is just that. A contract. It expires and no one knows what tomorrow will bring. I want him to trust someone outside of that system. And if that means we pay your salary ourselves, so be it. It’s worth it. Loyalty is rare in this sport. I want to give it a chance to bloom without any influence.”
You nodded, but a lump had settled in your throat. Guilt. On your parents’ advice, you had begun quietly looking for other jobs.
You can’t go on like this, they’d told you. You deserve respect. And painful as it was to admit—they were right.
“I understand,” you finally said. “And I understand his trust issues. God knows I’ve been betrayed more than once during internships. I don’t blame him for that. But I’d appreciate it if he at least acknowledged my emails.”
“I’ll speak to him,” Mark repeated. “In the meantime, keep doing your job. I see every email you send, and I want to commend you—not just for your efficiency and initiative, but for your professionalism despite Oscar’s behaviour. Your efforts are not in vain.”
You didn’t know what to say, so you simply nodded. It was hard to accept praise when the one person you were meant to work for gave you no recognition at all.
“I have to go. McLaren call in five minutes. Keep it up—I’ll handle Oscar.”
Your tired and discouraged face stared back at you on the black screen. You sighed, took a sip of cold coffee, and began typing a new email.
From: Y/N L/N < y/n.l/[email protected] > To: Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > CC: Mark WEBBER < [email protected] > Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > Subject: Quad Lock
Oscar,
As Mark and your new McLaren PR assistant may have informed you, Quad Lock (an Australian brand for sports phone mounts) is interested in sponsoring you in 2023.
They’re only available on Thursday, January 16 at 10:30 AM, but you’re scheduled for a padel session then. Would you prefer I reschedule, or can you make yourself available?
Y/N L/N y/n.l/[email protected]
That evening, you nearly choked on your red wine when your phone buzzed. You immediately recognized the sound—your inbox—and tapped the notification with a trembling finger.
"What the fuck?"
From: Oscar PIASTRI < [email protected] > To: Y/N L/N < y/n.l/[email protected] > CC: Mark WEBBER < [email protected] > Subject: RE: Quad Lock
Jan 16 works. Cancel padel.
Oscar
You ended up staring at the screen for far too long. Since when did a simple email affect you so deeply? You had studied at Harvard, for God’s sake. Interned at prestigious firms. Yet here you were—shaken by a curt reply from a bull-headed driver.
If your parents could see you now, they’d sigh.
You typed a reply, erased it, retyped the same one, changed a word, fixed a typo, then—uncertain—rewrote it altogether.
Then deleted it again.
And finally typed: “Thanks, I’ll inform them.”
You tossed your phone across the bed and drained your wine in one big gulp.
You didn’t know what to make of the sudden shift, but one thing was certain: you could count on Mark. And there was nothing more reassuring than not feeling alone in your corner.
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You longed for the sense of excitement that had animated you when you had signed your contract in this very office, just a few weeks ago. The golden plaque on the door still bore Mark’s name but it no longer gleamed as it had that first day. It appeared dull now—faded, even.
He had summoned you to discuss Oscar’s upcoming first days with McLaren, and the logistical arrangements it would require.
Upon your arrival, the secretary had promptly informed you that the Australian would be running late. Something about a meeting “too important to be cut short.”
So, you had sat down in one of the waiting room chairs and begun flipping through your notebook to review the brief Mark had sent two days prior. But muffled voices soon broke your concentration.
You looked up. The office door stood slightly ajar.
You immediately recognized Mark’s voice. Another, deeper and more assertive, kept interrupting him.
Oscar.
Eyes wide, you gently closed your notebook and placed it on the seat beside you before moving closer to the door.
“This can’t go on,” said Mark. “Besides your blatant lack of professionalism, you're making things harder for yourself on purpose.”
“I don’t need an assistant.”
They’re talking about me, you realized.
You swallowed hard and leaned in.
“And I’m telling you that you do. You’re stepping into the big leagues, Oscar. That means four times the responsibilities, four times the meetings. Your little Google Calendar might’ve worked in F2 and in 2022, but that’s no longer the case. You need someone.”
“That’s why you’re here.”
“I’m here to help you negotiate contracts, not book your flights or your hair appointments. I have enough on my plate as it is, and you do too. You’re literally starting at McLaren in two weeks!”
“Maybe,” he conceded. “But why Y/N?”
 “Why not?”
“I’ve read her résumé. She doesn’t belong here,” he spat.
You recoiled. The words stung, not just because of what he said, but how he said it. You had expected indifference from Oscar, but never cruelty.
“You can complain all you want,” Mark replied coolly. “It won’t change a damn thing. She is your assistant—and given the excellent work she’s done despite your shitty attitude, she will remain as such. So get used to seeing her around.”
“Whatever,” Oscar muttered.
Silence followed, then soft but steady footsteps.
Your stomach twisted. You scrambled back to your seat, notebook now trembling in your damp hands. Your heartbeat was so loud you could feel it pounding in your temples.
Oscar soon appeared in the doorway. His dark eyes immediately found yours. You froze, gaze fixed on a blurry sentence, your heart in your throat.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stop. His stare scorched the right side of your face. Your cheeks burned—whether from fury or adrenaline, you couldn’t say. Perhaps both.
After what felt like an eternity, the driver turned and walked away. Without a word. As always.
He didn’t even have the decency to say it to my face, you thought.
Something inside you cracked at that realization—the last stronghold of patience, the final tower of understanding.
Rage surged through your veins and turned your chest into a battlefield. Amid the carnage, a voice pierced your armour. You looked up and saw Mark, one hand on the door handle.
“Are you coming?”
You followed him into the office mechanically, sat down in the leather chair, opened your notebook, nodded silently at every sentence he spoke, scribbled down notes you knew you would never read, and asked no questions.
More than once, Mark raised an eyebrow at your uncharacteristic silence, but you deliberately ignored his questioning glances.
Gone was the eager assistant, determined to prove herself, always anticipating her client’s needs. In her place sat a woman with furrowed brows and brisk, sharp movements—hardened by a fresh wave of anger.
One of the first management courses you had taken at Harvard had introduced the idea of professional archetypes. Who was motivated by emotion? Rewards? Everyone prided themselves for their individuality, their uniqueness, but, at the end, we all fell a category. And you knew you thrived for acknowledgment—something Oscar had never given you. Not once.
And that hurt.
So no, you didn’t feel guilty for not listening during the meeting. Mark continued with his verbose explanations, but you knew the spiel…
Oscar’s debut at McLaren was fast approaching. It would be a critical moment—for him, for Mark, for you.
And yet, despite knowing all that, you couldn’t bring herself to care.
She doesn’t belong here.
At the memory of those words, you tightened your grip on your pen.
“Y/N,” Mark said eventually, his tone tentative. “About Oscar… I think we’re finally getting somewhere.”
You stifled a bitter laugh and nodded. He eventually dismissed you, realizing you had nothing further to say, and you didn’t hesitate to walk out—slamming the door behind you, decorum be damned.
Once home, you glanced at your makeshift desk on the dining table, then at your work phone—silent, as always.
That was the final straw—the dark screen.
On impulse, you reached out to your cousin, a doctor.
One of your professors had once spoken at length about the value of networking and connections. You finally understood the importance of those when, thirty minutes later, a five-day medical leave form landed in your inbox.
You forwarded it to Mark, turned off your phone, and threw it into a drawer.
If Oscar didn’t need you, then he could handle his McLaren debut on his own.
During the first two days, you didn’t leave your bed. You stayed under the covers and ignored the world outside—though the latter seemed determined not to ignore you. Your parents kept sending you links to job offers, and Mark had started calling your personal number.
On the third day, someone knocked.
Oscar.
The moment you saw him standing there, you didn’t think—you tried to slam the door in his face. But the driver was faster—damn reflexes—and caught it with one hand.
“We need to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Please.”
That one word made you falter.
“I know you took medical leave,” he continued. “Mark told me. I also know you’re not really sick and it’s because of me.”
That caught your attention. Oscar took advantage of the hesitation and slipped through the gap. You protested, pushed against his chest to get him out, but you were no match to his strength.
Soon, Oscar Piastri was standing in your apartment.
The sight was so surreal you blinked, convinced you were hallucinating. But no, he was real and had just turned your worst nightmare into reality.
“I’m sorry, okay?” he said. “I was an asshole.”
You scoffed and crossed your arms.
“Understatement of the fucking year.”
Oscar took your hand and held it in his.
Your eyes widened.
“I thought I didn’t need an assistant, but I was wrong.”
You rolled your eyes before pulling away.
“Oh, right. So what? You had some epiphany while I was gone?”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.”
“I missed three meetings with McLaren and was late to two others because I didn’t get your reminder emails.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Mark didn’t send anything?”
It was surprising, given how insistent he’d been about professionalism before Oscar’s debut.
“He said it was to ‘help me realize how much I fucked up.’”
You stifled a smile as a warm wave washed over you—part pride, part relief. Mark had stood up for you. Your heart felt just a little lighter.
You looked up at Oscar.
But then a memory—sharp and cold—soured the moment.
“You said I didn’t belong there,” you whispered.
You hated yourself for voicing it, for letting the insecurity slip through. The same one your parents had spent years nurturing.
A heavy silence followed.
“You heard us,” he simply said. “Mark and me. The other day.”
It wasn’t a question, so you didn’t answer. Oscar ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
“You don’t belong here. That’s true.”
You opened your mouth in disbelief.
“Did you read your résumé?” he went on, undeterred.
“What kind of stupid question is–”
“Because I did,” he cut you off. “And you’re overqualified. You graduated from Harvard, for fuck’s sake! You deserve so much more than being my personal assistant.”
For the first time, you were speechless.
“But I guess I’m selfish,” he sighed. “I still think you deserve better, but now that I know how much I need you, I don’t want you to leave.”
He stepped closer.
“So please, forgive me. I’ll give you a raise—just name your price. But don’t quit.”
You hesitated, frozen in the middle of your living room, facing a visibly nervous Oscar. Were you making a mistake? Giving in too easily? What if this was just a momentary change of heart? What if, in three weeks’ time, everything went back to how it was?
As if reading your thoughts, Oscar took another step and rushed to reassure you.
“I’ll try harder. I’ll communicate better. I’ll learn to trust you.”
“And reply to my emails?”
He smiled, and the sight of those bunny teeth softened something in your chest.
“That too.”
You had come to love this job in the past weeks. It quenched your thirst of order and precision. And, Oscar aside, it was relatively simple.
The salary didn’t hurt either.
“You have no self-respect, woman,” you muttered under your breath before taking a deep breath and speaking aloud. “Fine.”
You said it quickly, as if speaking too slowly would give regret the time to catch up.
Maybe forgiving him wasn’t the best decision. Maybe your first impression hadn’t been good either.
Maybe you had both made mistakes.
“What?”
“I said, fine.”
Oscar looked as though he wanted to hug you—you saw it in the way his muscles tensed—but he thought better of it and rested a hand on your shoulder instead.
“Thank you.”
Yoy offered him a small smile and straightened up. Oscar’s hand fell back to his side.
“Well… Let’s start over, shall we?”
You held out a hand.
“Hello, I’m Y/N. I’ll be your personal assistant. If you need anything, I’m here.”
Oscar took it and gave it a gentle shake.
“Hi, I’m Oscar and I won’t screw up this time.”
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Woking was a rather dreary town, you concluded as you watched its brick buildings pass by through the window of Oscar’s car. A typical English town, with uniform neighbourhoods and a colour palette of browns and whites.
“Feeling nervous?” you asked, glancing at Oscar’s hands, clenched so tightly around the steering wheel they were turning white.
“Yes."
“Good. It would’ve been strange if you weren’t. It means you care.“"”
He sighed and turned down the radio.
“Mark warned me they’d drown me with information. I’m worried I won’t remember anything and that I’ll come across as a rookie.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Just try to remember the essentials, and I’ll take care of the rest,” you replied, giving your black notebook a shake.
The movement caught Oscar’s attention, and he glanced away from the road for a second. He hummed in acknowledgment, and silence settled once again over the car.
There remained in your interactions traces of your chaotic beginnings. The team-building week Mark had forced you into, squeezed into the slim window of time leading up to today, had helped, but one didn’t simply erase a month of mutual silence with the wave of a wand.
Both of you had promised Oscar’s manager to try. You had sealed the pact without hesitation—anything was preferable to playing yet another damned escape room.
Oscar eventually gestured toward the notebook with a nod.
“You’ll need an orange one.”
You clutched it to your chest with a grimace. Loose pages and stray Post-its crinkled against your wool winter coat. It was an organized chaos of contracts and printed emails—a reflection of the turbulent start to Oscar’s F1 career, and their own beginnings.
“It’s not even full yet! And I don’t like orange.”
“A sticker, then.”
You pursed your lips.
“I suppose. But only if I get to pick the design.”
‘It has to be related to the team or me, though.”
“It is related to you. It contains your entire life for the next eight months.”
Oscar cut the conversation short when he took a sharp turn.
“Look—we’re here.”
You blinked at the building.
What kind of Avengers shit is this?
The building looked like it had been plucked straight from the future and placed with uncanny precision beside the lake. Everything about it exuded innovation and ambition—the kind of place you had imagined yourself working for after graduating.
Today, you were entering it as a mere personal assistant.
A part of you felt bitter at the thought, but you quickly buried the feeling when Oscar opened his door and offered you a hand.
Mark was already waiting at the entrance, flanked by a man you recognized as Zak Brown, and another with tanned skin and graying hair.
“Andrea Stella, the team principal,” Oscar murmured in your ear, seeing your confused expression.
Zak and Andrea greeted you politely—nothing more—before turning their full attention to Oscar. Mark, on the other hand, walked over to you with a sly smile on his thin lips.
“You managed the drive without killing each other? I’m impressed.”
As if he hadn’t just forced the two of you into a three-hour tug-of-war last Wednesday…
You all entered the building together. You were left speechless by the modern architecture and followed the group of men on autopilot. Very quickly, Oscar began meeting the team—one person after another. The receptionists. The mechanics. The engineers. The technicians. The designers. You jotted down as much as you could in your little notebook, but even you soon felt overwhelmed, your wrist aching.
“Of course you know Cecilia, your PR assistant,” announced Zak Brown as they entered the office area.
That was enough to catch your attention. You snapped your head up so fast your neck cracked. You couldn’t help narrowing your eyes, givng a once-over to the woman who’d had such a good job back in November. Beside you, Mark stifled a laugh.
“Careful—you almost look jealous.”
“I don’t care.”
But you couldn’t hide your satisfied smile as you observed the interaction between the two—cordial and awkward.
Take that, Cecilia.
“Ah!” Zak exclaimed. “Just the man we were looking for! Lando, come meet your new teammate.”
You rose onto your toes to catch sight of the newcomer.
Of course, you knew who Lando Norris was. A McLaren driver since 2019 and now Oscar’s teammate. Nothing more—just the essentials. That was enough. Memorizing the information Mark and Oscar fed you already took up a quarter of your time; you didn’t have room for another driver.
He shook hands with everyone with the ease of someone familiar in his environment. There was no hesitation in his movements, just a quiet confidence.
“Nice to meet you, Oscar.”
“Likewise.”
The Australian stepped aside, revealing you behind him. Your eyes met. Lando’s widened.
“And this is—”
But before Oscar could introduce you, Lando stumbled and fell at your feet.
You blinked. Then rushed to help him. Your knees hit the smooth floor, but you had no time to feel the pain; your hand quickly found the Brit’s shoulder.
“My God! Are you alright?”
Lando sprang back up and recoiled from your touch as though burned, his face flushed crimson.
“Y-yes,” he stammered, eyes fixed on the floor.
He mumbled words you didn’t catch—something about an engineer and a meeting—then spun around and disappeared down the corridor.
You blinked once, twice, then shook your head and hurried to rejoin the group for the rest of the tour, which lasted another two long hours.
“Lando…” you began once you and Oscar were back in the car.
“What about him?”
“He’s a bit… odd, don’t you think?”
Oscar shot you a quick glance before focusing back on the road. Already, the McLaren Technology Centre was nothing more than a vague grey blur in the rearview mirror. The engine roared, churning your stomach—or perhaps that was the regret creeping onto your tongue.
You and Oscar weren’t yet close enough for you to speak so freely. What would he think of you, openly criticizing his future teammate?
“I suppose,” he admitted, to your utmost relief. “I haven’t really had the chance to talk with him yet. We’re planning to meet up before the first tests. He mentioned something about padel.”
You pulled your notebook from your bag and uncapped your fountain pen, glad for the change in topic.
“Do you already have a date in mind?”
Oscar rolled his eyes.
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queenpiranhadon · 10 months ago
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So, it's basically canon that Pro Heroes come to assist heroes in training at UA, right?
Just imagine the horror the new generation of heroes would face when they realize that their opponent for training that day is none other than the Number Two Pro Hero, Dynamight.
It's a hero team vs villain simulation - a joint practice between both hero course classes - Katsuki basically has free range to destroy the mock city UA had built and the students had to prevent him from doing so, which was really just a waste of money because of the Pro Hero's already destructive tendencies.
He already had to regulate himself for Pro Hero work, so this was really just waving the reg flag in front of the bull.
Needless to say, they all got their asses kicked, all 40 of them. Whether it was due to falling debris or evading explosions, all of them were forced to wave their white flags eventually.
The students weren't so much in shock, they were in awe, of how a Pro Hero could be so powerful and intimidating, and well...badass.
Their main takeaway? Katsuki Bakugou was an impenetrable force to be reckoned with.
Or... at least for a few minutes.
You can imagine the shock on their faces when the grim and serious expression on Dynamight's face melts instantly when he hears a voice speak up behind him.
"Katsuki, if you keep frowning all the time, you're going to get wrinkles."
He turns around, a rare smile stretching across his face as he stares at you, his wife, like you're the only person in the world at that moment, like you're the only one that matters.
"Tch. I don't get wrinkle lines, woman. Yer just seein' things."Despite his slight harsh words, they're softer, somehow, and the happy twinkle in his eyes is unmistakable.
The students gape at each other. The Dynamight, Katsuki Bakugou , in love? The same pro hero that was wreaking havoc and creating carnage in his wake was the same one now staring at his wife with a dopey grin and peppering kisses across your face.
"Katsuki!" You whine, but it looses its credibility as you start to laugh at his antics. "What's gotten into you, huh?" you ask, a little softer, so that only he could hear.
He looks at you, a soft look in his eyes as he kisses you gently and lovingly pulling away to admire your pretty face.
"M'just feeling sentimental I guess... We were probably their age when we started dating huh?" He says, referring to the students.
You snort, recalling the time when Katsuki first asked you out. "Aww...is my baby feeling sentimental? You were a dork back then."
Katsuki looks offended and his grumbles, nipping your jawline in annoyance."Oi. I was not a dork back then. If anything, Izuku was the dork."
You smile teasingly, kissing his nose, effectively shutting your explosive husband up.
"Is that so? Because I recall you had your All Might posters set up in chronological order of his costume eras."
Katsuki's ears turn red and his large hand wraps around the back of your hand, burying your face in his chest.
"Shaddup woman. Yer the one who fell for this dork in the first place."
You laugh, your voice muffled by his chest, but he can still hear you just fine. Looking up at him you smile.
"You may be a dork, but you're my dork."
The students watch is abosolute shock, mouth gaping open as they wonder how the hell you were able to render Katsuki Bakugou to the sappy man they saw in front of them.
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A/N: He's so silly I love him 🥰
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fandoms-x-reader · 10 months ago
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Feeling Sheepish
Requested By: @deludedprime
Summary: You were a sheep for your exchange year in the Devildom (Season 1) but during your time in the human world, the spell wore off. When Solomon brings you back to the Devildom (Season 2), everyone has a different reaction to your new body. The Seven Demon Brothers & Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, and Simeon Featuring Luke, Raphael, Mephisto, and Thirteen Word Count: 3,737 Characters are written in chronological order instead of the normal order! Based on Lesson 21-1 & 21-2
Being a sheep in the Devildom wasn’t as bad as it may seem at first glance.
There’s no denying that safety was an issue. After all, you were small and somewhat defenseless if a demon tried to attack you.
But, you didn’t need to use nearly as many resources to take care of yourself. And, on top of that, it was easy to make friends when you looked so adorable and approachable.
Being a sheep also took away the social construct of beauty. There was no way anyone could judge the way you dressed or did your hair because you were simply a sheep.
So, while there was a bit of an adjustment period at first, by the end of your exchange year in the Devildom, you had grown accustomed to being a small creature.
But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end, and before you knew it, it was time for you to leave the Devildom.
You were heartbroken to leave your friends - but, you weren’t even sure if they could see the tears you were shedding as a sheep.
And then with a blink of an eye, you were teleported back to the human world and that was the end of it.
Luckily, the spell wore off pretty quickly when you returned to the human world and you had your normal body back.
And whether or not that was what you wanted, you knew it was probably for the best. After all, what considerations were held for you as a sheep in the Devildom, certainly wouldn’t be held in the human world.
You could be shaved bald for your wool or get put on a farm. Or worse. There were some places where sheep was a common cuisine.
Becoming a human once again required yet another adjustment period. You had to relearn how to walk on two feet instead of four. You had to make sure you were dressed properly and that your hair was neat.
Not to mention the fact that you were starving. As a sheep, you ate such small portions. Now, you felt like you had to make up for lost time. 
Everyone from the Devildom continued to stay in contact with you, of course. But, all they could hear was your voice. They couldn’t see you.
So they were none the wiser when it came to your sudden transformation. They were completely in the dark. 
At least that was the case until one day, Solomon showed up to see you.
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Solomon was planning a trip back to the Devildom and he was planning on taking you.
Truth be told, he missed it down there. The memories that he experienced were full of fun and endearing moments. And, he wanted to make some more.
You were typically at the center of those memories, and as such, he couldn’t imagine returning to the Devildom without you.
The two of you had stayed in touch, sending messages here and there and even calling when the time allowed it.
But, it was nothing like before - which is why Solomon decided to surprise you by showing up in person.
He used a tracking spell to find your location and continued to text you to keep up the ruse.
His eyes scanned the area for your little sheep form and he got a bit worried when he couldn’t find you. He was positive he had done the tracking spell right.
That’s when he noticed someone walking and texting - on a D.D.D.
It wasn’t like those were popular in the human world. You could only get them from the Devildom - which meant…
The realization dawned on Solomon that the spell that turned you into a sheep would have worn off by now, and he connected the dots.
He took a brief couple of moments to take in your new appearance. He felt privileged to be the first one to see you in your human form.
Then he approached you and he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips when you looked into his eyes with soft familiarity in yours.
Solomon would love to whisk you away and spend the day with you. To have some alone time with you before the others stole every second of your time.
But - he was on a mission. He came to you for a reason. 
A reason that he didn’t give you much time to ponder over before teleporting the two of you back to the Devildom.
Back to your friends.
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Lucifer was stunned when he watched two humans fall through the portal that had opened up in the middle of the assembly room.
He recognized Solomon right away. He wore a smile as he landed on his feet gracefully.
The one Lucifer didn’t recognize was the human who had crash-landed on top of Satan.
From his position, Lucifer could see that they were attractive, but why had Solomon brought them there?
“Whoops. Sorry, about that Y/N. I really should’ve warned you to be careful where you land,” Solomon stated and it all became clear to Lucifer.
You were the human that had stolen all of their hearts. You were the one they had been pining over and longing for since the moment you left the Devildom.
And now you were in your true form.
And your true form seemed to have an even greater effect on the eldest.
“Y/N…?! Solomon…!” were the only two words that came out of Lucifer’s mouth as he was still trying to process everything.
He was trying to hold it together. He was doing what he could to not show any weakness.
He wanted to remain as calm and composed as he normally was, but his eyes refused to listen as they were continuously drawn to you, taking in every inch of your appearance.
And when you finally smiled at him, he knew it was over for him.
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“AAAAAH!! Wha…wha…WHA?! Is this really…are you really really…REALLY?!”
Levi was so overwhelmed by the situation that he wasn’t able to form real words.
He felt like his brain was racing at a hundred words a second.
He had just got his friend back - his true friend.
And he was so excited to see you again.
Except it wasn’t the you he had gotten to know over the past year.
Now, you were back in your human body and despite him mostly being excited, he couldn’t help but be intimidated.
Like Lucifer, Levi did his best to not trail his eyes over your new body and when he caught himself doing so, his cheeks turned a bright pink and he mentally scolded himself.
Levi could barely manage to not freak out in your presence when you were a sheep. How was he supposed to do that now that you were a human?
And not just any human, but an attractive one!
Levi’s overthinking could have given him a panic attack on the spot if it weren’t for the fact that he was in front of everyone else.
He just needed to keep reminding himself that you were the same person he had come to know and love.
Maybe then he would still be able to hang out with you despite the fact that your new form made his heart race and made his palms sweaty.
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“Y/N, it’s YOU! It’s REALLY YOU!”
Asmo’s excitement showed more than his other brothers’ as they all processed your new form in their own way.
Asmo, for one, was soo ecstatic about the new change in your appearance.
Could you blame him? He was the Avatar of Lust and you just showed up in a new body.
When you were a sheep, you had a personality that could charm anyone, anywhere.
And now you had a body that could do the same. 
Asmo’s eyes had a special glint in them as his questions filled his mind.
How smooth was your skin?
Were your lips as soft as they appeared?
Did your hair feel as healthy as it looked?
Asmo got even more excited as he realized now he would be able to do all of the beauty treatments with you and see them in full effect.
There was only so much you could do as a sheep. After all, wool was a lot different from skin.
If he’s caught staring at your new body, Asmo will be shameless about it.
It’s not like he doesn’t have a good reason to stare.
He just couldn’t wait for the student council meeting to be over so they could all take you back to the House of Lamentation.
Asmo wanted every single one of his questions answered, and he couldn’t do that in the middle of the Assembly Hall.
Well…he could, but Lucifer would probably be mad.
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Mammon went through a full mood swing. 
At first, he was confused because a random human just dropped into the middle of their meeting. 
But when Solomon said your name, everything changed for Mammon.
He hadn’t stopped blushing since he realized that the random human was - his human.
Mammon had a hard time trying not to admit his feelings for you when you were a sheep.
But now - now you were a human.
A human that he could hug, kiss, and cuddle if you let him.
He told his mind to stop thinking such thoughts but it would respond by flooding his brain with even more thoughts and images.
He wore a smile the more he looked at you. He had missed you so much.
But, in his true, tsundere fashion, he couldn’t let you catch onto how much he missed you.
“Wait, wh…huh?!...I knew you missed me and all, but THIS is just crazy!”
Mammon thought he did a good job of remaining composed.
He believed he did a good job of hiding the fact that you being there - in this form - was making his head spin and making him weak in the knees.
But when the two of you locked eyes, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep his charade up for much longer.
You were his weakness as a sheep, now you were his kryptonite.
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“Y/N…”
Satan was trying to analyze the situation. 
You fell on top of him when you came out of the portal and he was completely blindsided by the contact.
So he was trying to still gather his bearings while his brothers spoke.
When he finally did manage to get back to his feet, Satan asked, “Do you want to tell me why you just appeared out of thin air and landed on my head?”
But as Satan faced you to ask that question, he took in your appearance and a small blush coated his cheeks.
Suddenly, he was happy that you landed on him. Thankful even.
He had noticed that when you landed on him, you were definitely bigger than a little sheep.
But he didn’t expect this.
He couldn’t imagine if you would have landed on one of his other brothers, especially Lucifer.
The thought alone threatened to spark his wrath.
Satan let his eyes trail down you, studying your new body as if it were a new piece of information he was learning.
And he had never been so excited to learn.
This was a subject he would happily study in depth if you allowed him to.
For now, Satan settled on helping you to your feet, your hand feeling much softer and warmer than the hoof that he was used to feeling.
And as you stood close to him, his heart skipped a beat.
He knew that everyone was going to be in deep trouble now that you had gotten your true form back.
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“How about that! Y/N, it’s really you!!”
Diavolo had a boyish grin on his face as he spoke to you. He had missed you just as much as the brothers had, whether he showed it as much as they did or not.
He knew that the spell that turned you into a sheep must have worn off by now.
But, still, it was a surprise to see you in your human body.
He had to admit - you were quite the head-turner.
A twinge of fear set into Diavolo as he questioned how you ended up in the Devildom again.
“Wait, you didn’t perform some sort of unsavory ritual to cast your soul down here, did you?! You better not have!”
When you shook your head no, Diavolo let out a breath of relief, knowing that you were okay.
“I can’t believe you’re actually back here with us again!” he added, his smile returning.
Diavolo could see how good you were for his kingdom.
He could see the way you changed things for the better, and he could see how negative things were without you.
Your presence brought a light to their lives that he had been missing.
And that light shone even brighter in your real body. 
Diavolo would be lying if he said he didn’t find you attractive. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been sneaking glances this entire time.
But he had to keep his composure in front of everyone.
When the two of you were alone though - and he would make sure that you had some alone time - that’s when he would let his true feelings show.
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“Yes. This really is quite the happy surprise. It’s good to see you again, Y/N.”
Barbatos was as professional as ever, but you could see his eyes sparkling just a bit more than usual and his smile reaching just a little further.
Like Diavolo, Barbatos knew that the spell would have worn off by now.
But, it wasn’t something that was talked about. 
It wasn’t a typical topic of conversation and because of that, it was easy to forget that the next time any of them would see you, you wouldn’t be a sheep.
Barbatos was pleasantly surprised.
He had seen your human form once before - the details of which he won’t disclose.
But, seeing you in your human body after he had gotten to know you was completely different.
It elevated his opinion of you and made him believe you really were the most attractive creature he had met.
No other human, demon, or angel had made his heart race the way you did.
Barbatos had taken a backseat during your first year in the Devildom.
He allowed you to make connections with the others first.
But, now, he was excited for his turn.
There were a lot more things he could teach you and bond with you over now that you had your human body back and he was going to take advantage of each of those things.
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Belphie had been doing his best to not fall asleep in the student council meeting.
The last time he did, Lucifer caught and punished him with a whole lot of work and Belphie did not want a repeat of that.
So, he was thankful when the portal opened up, providing a necessary distraction from the boring events that were taking place.
When he saw Solomon fall through the portal, Belphie perked up a bit, curious as to what the mysterious sorcerer had planned this time.
He noticed another human had fallen on top of his older brother and bit back a chuckle at the scene.
When Solomon stated your name, Belphie’s blood ran cold as he began to process the shock.
Was that really you…in that body?!
Belphie had a hundred things to say and to ask. But, he couldn’t get a word in between everyone else, so he quietly took in everything about you.
Your voice was the same and you acted the same. It really was you. 
Belphie couldn’t help but wonder if it would be more fun to cuddle you now.
He would miss the softness of your wool, but would you be warmer now? Or more comfortable to lay on top of?
Belphie was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed you being bombarded with questions of why you were there and he finally decided to speak up.
“Listen, I am curious to know why you’re here. But before we get into that, are you going to be staying for a while? Because if so, you’ll be staying at the House of Lamentation, right? Oh, but wait…I bet your room’s covered in dust…”
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“No problem, Y/N can just sleep in our room.”
Like Belphie, Beel had remained silent until then. 
He had been happily munching on a snack, paying the bare minimum of attention to Diavolo during the meeting as he ate.
But he hadn’t been able to take another bite since you and Solomon fell through the portal. 
Was that what you looked like on a normal basis? Why didn’t you tell him?
He knew that you were a human that had been placed under a sheep transformation spell, but his imagination never could have come up with the beauty you exuded.
You were on a different level than others and he couldn’t take his eyes away from you. 
He noticed his other brothers were having the same trouble looking away, and Beel suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy.
You were in your own body now and part of him wished he was the only one who was able to see it.
Well…it was okay if Belphie saw you like this too.
But, the others were looking at you with a look of lust in their eyes and Beel wanted to sweep you into his arms and keep you from them.
Which is why he jumped at the opportunity to offer his and Belphie’s room to you. 
He couldn’t imagine you staying with one of his other brothers after seeing the look in their eyes.
Surely, something would happen if you did and Beel wanted to burn that imagery out of his mind.
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Simeon had been in contact with the others in the Devildom and when he found out that you had returned, he couldn’t help but feel like he was missing out.
The demons weren’t the only ones who missed seeing you and talking to you.
He felt like he was missing out even more when they told him that you were back in your human form.
Simeon could only imagine what you looked like. What your hair color was, whether you were tall or short, and what kind of clothes you liked to wear?
That possibilities were driving Simeon crazy and before he knew it, he was finding some way to bring you to the Celestial Realm so that he could see you.
He was beyond happy and excited when you agreed to go, and he paced nervously by the gates as he waited for your arrival.
When the gates finally did open, revealing you and Solomon, Simeon felt his breath leave his body.
He always joked about you being an angel based on the things you did, but now you looked like one.
Simeon could write an entire book on how ethereal and stunning you were.
He did his best to remind himself that he was an angel and shouldn’t be entertaining any thoughts that the demons surely had.
But - you were the first human he had ever met that elicited those ideas from him.
He wasn’t sure how much time he had with you - but he knew that he had to make the most of it.
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One of the benefits of being a bit more uncultured and younger than everyone else was that someone’s form didn’t have the same implications for him.
LUKE
Luke had heard from Simeon that you were in your human body, but he didn’t think too much of it.
It didn’t matter if you were a human, a sheep, or anything else. You were still the friend that he came to know and love and want to protect.
Luke had been so excited to show you around the Celestial Realm that he didn’t waste a moment on taking in your new appearance.
Raphael had caught a glimpse of you while you were in the Celestial Realm.
In fact, you would have believed he didn’t notice if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were now bigger than him and did things that you couldn’t do as a sheep.
RAPHAEL
He knew that Simeon and Luke had been excited to see you, so he didn’t dare take your time like they did.
But he saw you chasing after Luke and it made him stop in his tracks as he couldn’t help but stare at you.
He may not have understood your appeal as a sheep. But, seeing you now, he could understand why exactly you had everyone wrapped around your finger.
Mephisto was a bit slow to realize who you were.
And if he wasn’t careful he was sure that someday he may find himself in the same position as the others.
MEPHISTO
He had seen you walking around the Devildom with the others and couldn’t help but wonder who you were and why Diavolo and the others were so close to you.
He had to admit that you were rather attractive, but surely your looks couldn’t be the only reason they were drawn to you.
It wasn’t until one of them said your name while walking by Mephisto that all of the dots connected in his head.
And he wore a small blush as he realized the one he had been admiring from afar was none other than the human exchange student.
The news didn’t deter him though. Instead, it enticed him.
Your new body enticed him.
Thirteen was the last to find out about your new form.
He would have to make himself more useful to Diavolo so that he could find a way to grow closer to you.
THIRTEEN
Like Luke, your body didn’t really make much of a difference to her. After all, she was mostly interested in looking at your soul, and that didn’t change whether you were sheep or human.
But, seeing you for the first time still surprised her. You didn’t look anything like she would have expected - in a good way.
Surely, you would be more useful in helping her make traps in this form.
And she had to admit you were pleasing to look at…
Maybe this was a good thing?
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ghelullu · 3 months ago
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Okay I survived this ritual surprisingly and wrote down a few thoughts, in a mostly chronological order and I probably forgot 90848 things
Tldr: Absolutely fabulous 20/10 he sounds amazing and he looked so happy the whole time
Spoilers under the break(also for length of rambling) :)
octogonal (with the usual nose in the middle) stage setup, they can walk around the while thing now (a bit similar to the cardi days setup but no elevation in the back)
No new ghouls except for the one new ghoulette, also none of the "more ghouls" that were spoken of in that one interview
Peacefield sounds cool!!!
Lachryma live is 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽he did the high notes himself!
Spirit! Pinnacle!! So much meliora on the setlist!
Papa talked very little sadly, but when he did it was fun! No accent, too!
He said he's new and asked us to be nice to him since it's his first time; then wanted us to treat him rough instead after someone said no
Almost ran the mic stand over during ftpttp
Entertainer!Phantom!! He was phenomenal the whole night tbh, incredible guitar player
Papa in full robes sitting in the back of the stage being lifted by some thingy while singing Majesty (hands free mic!)
TFIAL made the audience go crazy, changed the lyrics to 2034
Cirice without wings
DATHOML! Much better live than I expected honestly
I think he has a screen now at the front of the stage where he can read lyrics? Not sure though, but from my seat it looked a bit like it, good for him
Still managed to miss some and now we know his "fuck, wrong lyrics" face
FACE! SO MANY SMILES AND FACES HE MAKES!!
No really, he looked SO happy seeing everyone vibe and sing 20/10
Big robes only made an appearance for majesty, other than that It was a black leather jacket with batwing seams on the bottom, the silver jacket (it has a sparkly grucifix on the back), the cassock (BEDAZZLED SPINE AND RIBS AND HIP BONE AND TAIL????) and a pink jacket for squammer
"Whoo!" - Papa V
Appeared from below the stage via trap door to deliver a cowbell to Swiss lmao, umbra rocked - but the mix was bad, you could barely hear his singing, sadly
He sounds amazing without the mask
Especially the new songs are sung rather raspy, incredibly hot. Older songs sound more copia/terzo, but I assume that will change as usual, transitions are never immediate with him
In general he's very copia, but moves different than him, less focused and dancer-y, more.... Theatrical, joyful idk the right word?
In general less horny than copia, fewer action in mummy dust(jumped kneeling on the stairs though), no fingering in ritual, no serpent deceive, etc, but some thrusting in dance macabre etc hehe
The way he ran to change into the cassock for year zero rip, man was in a HURRY
The explosion at the end of year zero shattered the stained glass backdrop and then he performed he is in front of the splintered glass, beautifully done, especially as it reassembled into a religious image again
Generally lots of cool effects for the backdrop during majesty too and then afterwards BECAUSE
for rats the whole backdrop exploded, the church architecture deflated! and it was performed in front of a wasteland, super cool
Frater money!
Really his facial expressions the whole time help
lipstick was GONE
I can't read my notes anymore lmao
He said he's only there to show up and shake ass and that's what he did
MONSTRANCE CLOCK - HE DID THIS FOR MEEEE
Encore was the usual (Good!!!) and there were so many people left after monstrance clock lmao???
Inrpobably forgot a ton but holy moly that was so much and so cool and he sounds SO GOOD I CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH, he looked extremely happy and comfortable, it was nice to see, audience was great and engaged, the whole new setup is very cool (and expensive looking damn)
10/10
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hatethysinner · 1 month ago
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papa remmick headcanons pleaseee 🥸🥺
ᴘᴀᴘᴀ!ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ ʜᴀɴᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ
ᴀ/ɴ: these have been floating around in my head since i saw the movie so it'd be an understatement to say just how excited i am to share them! for simplicity's sake i only wrote about one daughter but let's be real remmick would have like 4. i genuinely have so many more ideas than this so if i get a lot of traction i'm def doing like 5 parts. tried to go in a chronological-ish order! if imagining hot fictional characters as fathers is my favorite pasttime does that make me crazy? i don't do taglists personally, so just follow me if you want to be updated when i post c:
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: none, enjoy the cutest vampire mass murderer as the most devoted father in the world! i even made the setting and time period very vague because i absolutely refuse to terrorize this adorable family.
part 2!
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first and foremost, ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ could only be a girl dad. it is physically, spiritually, and cosmically impossible for this man to have sons. don't argue with me, argue with the universe.
from the start, ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ was incredibly attentive. if his baby girl so much as shifted lightly in her crib, he was already standing over her before you could even stir.
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ insisted on skin-to-skin contact at every opportunity. didn't care if he had to stay still for HOURS. and he would too.
“she’s settlin’ her heart,” he'd whisper, “and mine’s the drum she’s gonna know first.”
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ took her babbling dead seriously. would fold his arms, listen with furrowed brows, and nod as if absorbing the meaning of life.
talked to her constantly. about everything. you'd catch ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ engaging in full-on conversations with an infant.
“this right here’s nutmeg. we don’t touch that, ‘cause it’s strong. like your mama. now this is thyme. it teaches ya patience.” (he was very proud of that joke)
best believe ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ is singing to her if she won't go to sleep. real songs, not lullabies. low and soft. a little off key. a little too slow. and always with her name in the chorus.
if she trips over air, ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ's already crouched beside her like a medic on a battlefield.
“where’s it hurt, baby? show me. papa’s got you.”
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ let her paint his nails. once. now it’s every saturday. sits there dead serious with one hand outstretched and the other holding a towel so she doesn’t drip.
says “gentle, baby” every time she pets a flower, every time she touches your face, every time she hugs his neck. because that’s how ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ taught her. love is gentle.
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ never hid his vampiric features at home. she adores them. pokes at his fangs, tugs at his claws, stares into his eyes with not even a hint of fear. because there's no need to.
if she calls for ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ in the night, even once, he’s at her side with a glass of water, a fresh blanket, and at least four “ya okay, sugar?” before he even sits down.
when she gets sick, ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ holds her all night with one hand pressed to her forehead and the other on her back like he can make her feel better just by staying still enough.
do not ever ask ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ to discipline his daughter. ten minutes later, you'll find the two of them on the porch swing sharing a pint of ice cream and laughing like nothing happened.
“i talked to her,” he’d say, mouth full of rocky road (🤭). “we came to an understandin’.” they did not.
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ is a constant bragger. constant. mentions her name in every single conversation, so avoid casually talking to him at all costs.
“my baby just got straight a’s. first grade, top of her class. can ya believe that?”
does not play when it comes to styling her hair. to learn, ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ sat on a little wooden stool for an entire afternoon under the careful eye of mama, focused like it was life of death. now he does them every sunday morning, and always ends with three sweet kisses.
“prettiest girl in the world. prettiest head of curls, too.”
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ felt left out of not having a bonnet (literally made this :( face) so he wears one too. unironically loves it.
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ always needs a picture of his family. first day of school, new dress, vacation, playing in the yard, doesn't matter. wallet’s full of folded photos and his side of the bedroom’s a shrine. framed memories everywhere. his girls, always.
y'all ain't never met a man who throws down in the kitchen more than ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ does. bakes, grills, fries, sautés, and seasons like nobody's business. he's been alive for over a millennium, so half the meals he makes have long been forgotten by the world. and of course he's teaching his baby girl all his skills.
girl ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ runs the pta like it's the navy. absolutely zero tolerance for slackers. despite his authoritarian, almost hivemindlike (🤭) style, every event and fundraiser ends up being a major success
he's never and will never miss a single recital, play, spelling bee, science fair, honor roll ceremony, or any other event involving his baby. ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ will fight his way to the front row if he has to, and records the whole thing with his favorite video camera. every tape is labeled, dated, and stored with care. if the house is too quiet, he'll be watching reruns.
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ ends every night the same. “ya know who loves ya?” he asks, real low.
and she says, every time, “you do, papa.”
and he answers, “damn right i do.” with his hand over his heart.
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n7punk · 3 months ago
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Tumblr Backup Options: None of them do everything
Cheeky but true. I'll go through what's good and bad about each option though so you can decide which balances out for you.
Covered: native export, WordPress (kinda), TumblThree, tumblr-utils (kinda)
Native Export
If you go to "https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/yourblogname", at the bottom of the page is an export option
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Once you hit the button to start the request, it will start processing. Feel free to log off, this is going to to take a few hours. You don't need to keep it open. ~22k posts took roughly a day for me. If you have a small number of posts and get stuck, you're probably broken.
When it's done processing, you can hit that download backup button and then wait some more as you wait for the zip file to download. Mine failed the first time after like twenty minutes, and then I had to start over. I think it took 1-2 hour(s) and I'm almost certain that was on Tumblr and not my internet. And that was the zip file! So make sure your computer can be on for a while before getting this started.
So what do you get?
A media folder, conversations folder, and posts folder
Media folder: Every single photo, gif, and video that has ever been on your blog or in your DMs. There is no context data attached (except for dm images which do say which conversation they're from at least), but they seem to be in chronological order because they seem to be titled by the post's ID (the string of numbers in the address bar after "/post/"). They look like "100868498227", "100868498228_0", "100868498228_1"
When you see something end with "_0" and up that means the photos are in the same post, so _0 represents the first image in the post, _1 represents the second, etc (at least, I think).
Conversations folder: HTML export files of every DM history you have on your blog. These are actually pretty well formatted, see example here.
Posts folder: html subfolder and posts_index.html file
posts_index.html: File listing every single post on your blog by post ID on its own line with no other context. Example of a line: "Post: 780053389730037760". The ID number will link to the post in the html folder
html subfolder: contains a submissions subfolder and stripped html file versions of every post on your blog. See below first what the post looks like on Tumblr, and second what the post looks like in the html folder
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The way you seem to be intended to use this is to open the file index, select a post ID, and be jumped to where that post is saved as an html file, but I don't know why you would bother when the index doesn't provide any information about the posts inside it. The posts all have extremely minimal formatting. See a reblog chain below.
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Notice I said ALL posts on your blog. Photo posts without a caption will just have a broken image icon and then the date and tags. Theoretically, it might be that if you unzip the entire export folder that allows it to automatically link to the image saved in your media folder. I have no fucking idea, unzipping the folder was estimated to take two hours so I didn't do it. Let me know if you do though so I can update this post!
The submissions folder is such a rabbithole I made a post just on it but long story short it's asks you haven't replied to
What do I see as the main reasons to opt for this option? 1) you don't want to download any programs or files from the internet just to backup your blog, 2) your blog is relatively small, so digging through the ID files isn't a big deal, 3) you mostly just want to download either the images (which will be browsable via thumbnail previews in the media folder if you unzip it) or conversation history, which are fairly well formatted, 4) you don't need to update your export often/ever, because you'd have to request it from the start and download the entire thing all over again, 5) you want to be able to read your text posts clearly and don't care about preserving the full formatting, and/or 6) you don't plan to reupload this information elsewhere (say on... a WordPress blog)
WordPress Automatic Ex/Import
Move your post's from Matt's right hand to his left! WordPress (another product of Automattic) has a native Tumblr importer found under your WP Admin dashboard for your site under Tools > Import > Tumblr.
How does this work? No idea! I hit import 2 days ago and it has done nothing. Maybe I'm stuck, maybe it's permanently broken. It says to contact support if it's been over 24 hours but they don't make that easy. I disconnected from Tumblr (you can only port over a blog you have the login of) and reconnected and it still said it was importing. I don't think it's ever going to do anything.
Presumably it's supposed to 1:1 import every post on your blog onto the WordPress site, which will result in a whole lot of stolen art because there's no way to select just your original posts. Also, you'd need enough storage on your webhost to house all the posts (this honestly might be my problem, but I was planning to delete all the non-original posts once it imported.... anything and backfill what it didn't get to). The one thing I'll say about this option is that it's the only one I've seen so far that exports drafts and queues as well.
I mean, if it exported anything. If this ever does anything I'll update this post, but either my blog is too large or this tool isn't totally functional anymore.
TumblThree
(previously TumblTwo, etc)
TumblThree is an all-in-one program requiring no extra downloads beyond the main Zip, and was last updated fairly recently at the time of this post. In order to run it, unzip it into one folder and run the main .exe. It has a full UI interface with lots of very descriptive helper text to help you select the right options for you without looking at the wiki. I think it's user-friendly for non-tech people.
There are a lot of options in TumblThree to change what output it gives you, but I'm going to start with the largely universal parts first:
Everything from one blog will be exported to one folder, no subfolders or sorting. As a result, the output is very messy and difficult to wade through, but post metadata and the photos are named in the same way so you can scroll, see an image preview, and then click on the metadata txt for that post and read the caption.
Depending on your settings, you can export all photos, videos, text posts, etc as their own files or exclude them from the export entirely. For the different types of media posts, you can independently select if you what to download just the media, just the metadata for it (everything that surrounds the post when you see it on Tumblr, such as the caption, OP, tags, etc), or both.
Master txt file: For every type of media metadata you export, a correspondingly named txt file will be created (images.txt, answers.txt, etc) that contains the text/metadata of every post of that type in one txt file. This is also the default behavior for exporting text posts.
Note: for text posts (which includes asks/answers), it only creates a master txt file if you do not select "Save texts as individual files", in which case it will only save each text as an individual txt file and not make a master file.
The formatting on these files is so brutal I won't even give examples, but they're unreadable. Being a .txt file, there is no native formatting, so it exports in html formatting.
Example: instead of a post that says "I want to go swimming", it exports: "I want to go < b >swimming< / b >" (minus the spaces around the b) as the post body, which is a big part of what makes it unreadable, because there are a lot of hyperlinks in all the header information listed below.
Each post in the master txt exports with: Post ID, date, post URL, slug, reblog key (no idea what that is), reblog URL, reblog name, title, [the text/caption itself], and tags.
Theoretically this means you could ctrl+f "cybertrucks" in the master txt file and then browse all your posts making fun of Tesla owners by tabbing through the returns. This is not possible with any of the previous options, and only is possible because it's all in one file, as ridiculous as it is, which is why getting that master file is so important.
For the trick to get both the individual text posts and master text.txt & answers.txt file, as well as my recommended settings and details on how updating backups works, see the read more at the end of this post.
The images.txt includes all the information listed above, but with the following additions: photo url (NOTE: this is the url on Tumblr, not a link to where it is in your folder), photo set URLs, photo caption, and "downloaded files" (NOTE: this is the name of the file it has downloaded)
The video.txt is similar to the above
The use case for this would be similar to what I described for text posts above: search keywords from captions, tags, etc and when you find what you think is what you want, copy the name from "downloaded files" and search your folder to find the actual image
I really hated TumblThree's output the first time I looked at it and then I realized the single file is the only way to make browsing tags workable, because otherwise you would have to have a folder for every tag, and posts with multiple tags would have to be duplicated between them. I'm not pressed on finding a txt to HTML converter right now but it could be an option in the future if you wanted to make things more readable.
Okay, let's get into the non-universal stuff you can customize in settings, because it's like, everything:
File names: We've already established you can search with the downloaded file name for images, but what will that be? Whatever you fucking want. Post date, reblogger name, post ID, post title, original file name, you can make it any and all of these in any order you want! You can have actually useful file names! Personally I like %e_%p_%q_%i_%x which exports as DateTime_PostTitle_BlogOriginName_PostID_IteratingNumber (note: you need some kind of unique iterator to be valid so two files don't have the same name, such as multiple photos from one post). Look how much searchable information that gives me, in chronological order! It decreases your need for the master txt file.
Tip I wish I thought of before doing my massive export: make one of the unique headers from the master txt file part of the exported file name so it's easy to search for it after identifying it in the master file.
Files scanned: this is the only method I've found that lets you back everything up, remember what it backed up, and then lets you add any new posts since that date without having to download the whole thing again. That's a game changer, but see the read more below for limitations.
You also have the option to rescan the entire thing if you want.
Post type: T3 (I'm abbreviating it now) also lets you export just your original posts, just reblogs, etc - again, giving you the most control of any options. It also lets you export replies. I, uh, would not do this because if you have any popular post on your blog it might have hundreds, or thousands of replies but hey, you can do it!
You also have the option to only download posts with a certain tag.
Blog options: You can export literally any blog you have the URL of. In fact, if you copy a blog URL while it's open, it will automatically add that blog to its UI and create an empty folder for it. It makes it easy, no private key required. I do have mixed feelings about the concept of exporting someone else's blog... but I'm also planning to do it to some of Crew-ra's blogs so... my digital horde must grow.
You can also queue blogs up and leave it to run through a lot of them. It is a lot faster than Tumblr's native export, I started this import well after I started typing this post and it took a few hours, probably not all that much longer than just downloading Tumblr's export took (and that's while running it alongside other data copy operations because I'm backing up a lot of stuff right now).
I do recommend doing a test export with a sideblog, I was able to use wild-bitchofthenorthwoods as a test import since it only has one post and it has media, so it was super quick.
(I do want to note, I think the number of downloadable items starts out matching the number of posts on your blog without scanning them until you start the export - but if you choose to export everything as its own file, you're going to end up with way more than that because a post with three images would be multiple files)
Things T3 cannot export:
Since in its simplest form it's just accessing the public upload of your blog, it cannot export your drafts, queue, or conversations
It cannot export posts as HTML files, and thus cannot export them with readable formatting natively
What do I see as the main reasons to opt for this option? 1) you don't care about exporting your DMs/conversations, 2) you want the ability to export only certain kinds of posts (original, photos, using a tag, etc), 3) you want to control the titles of the exported files 4) you don't mind wading through massive folders, 5) you want the ability to search tags (using the txt files), 6) you want the ability to update your export without starting over from the beginning, 7) you either don't want to reupload this information somewhere else, or you want to upload it somewhere that supports automatic HTML conversion (for instance, you can switch a Tumblr post from a rich text format to HTML, same with AO3, so you can put it in as HTML and then hit post to see it turn into a rich format. This techically makes T3 the most versatile/useful export option if you're planning to do anything with it other than browse your own files).
tumblr-utils
Full disclosure: haven't tried this one. But others have! tumblr-utils is a no-UI, python-based backup software. This means in order to use it you have to type commands into the terminal. If you don't know what I just said, don't use this one.
If you do, you'll need to separately download python and youtube-dl just to get this one running. You'll also need to give it your personal Tumblr API key and feed it commands deciphered from the wiki page I linked. Here are two different guides people have written on how to use it. Output:
Obviously I'm guessing based on the documentation, but one thing that is nice is this tool allows you to save each post in its own folder. Presumably each post is multiple files like we saw with T3, so this would make it easy to group them, but it also means you'd have to look in every single folder to find anything.
It seems to break posts up into timestamp folders by month, again, helping with management to narrow down where you have to search
It allows you to save only certain kinds of posts at a time like T3
It allows you to backup posts only from a certain time period (so if you keep a little .txt note of the last time you backed up, you can easily add only the new posts into your backup without having to start over from the beginning)
It allows you to only save posts under a certain tag like T3
It allows you to save only original posts
It's the only one I've found that lets you back up your liked posts
What do I see as the main reasons to opt for this option? 1) you don't care about exporting your DMs/conversations, 2) you want the ability to export only certain kinds of posts (original, photos, using a tag, etc), (okay now we get to the points that aren't also covered by T3), 3) you want posts to export already broken into folders, whether by post or by month, 4) you want to back up your likes, 5) you don't care what file names look like, 6) you're comfortable with the command line/coding and don't need a UI.
Summary:
None of these options are ideal for reuploading your files anywhere (except WordPress), but I do think TumblThree is the best of the options because of the written HTML formatting in the txt files being useful for websites that support automatic conversion (or require HTML input).
For starting another blog, WordPress wins. If it works. I'm trying to be generous here.
For searchability, T3 wins again.
For versatility... yeah you know it's T3, but tumblr-utils has a lot of the same features, too!
For sentimentality (aka conversations), it has to be the native export. There literally is not any other option.
For queues and drafts, the only theoretical option is WordPress. If it works.
For likes, the only option is tumblr-utils.
Every option does something the others don't, so theoretically to cover everything, you have to do all four options. Actually I would say do the native export if you don't have a lot of posts and aren't a freak like me, check it out, and if it doesn't work (I know it's finnicky) or you don't like the export, go with TumblThree. This also means you'll at least have your conversations even if you don't end up using the native export any other way.
And I wish it could go without saying, but don't repost people's shit, y'all. I'm backing up everything for my records only and it will never be shared with anyone else, or even browsed as long as using Tumblr instead is an option.
TumblThree adding to old backup quirks, recommended settings, & master file backup solution:
Adding to backup quirks:
From my tests, when you scan a blog you've already backed up to just add new posts to it, it does not update the master file, so if you want to update it, you'll have to do the steps I list at the end of this post. It might be possible it does update if you force rescan, but I highly doubt it.
If you scan a blog you previously backed up under more restrictive settings - say you only backed up original text posts as one file before and now you've selected to back up absolutely everything - it will only download up until the time you last backed up that blog. It will not blow past where you last downloaded to download all the photos and videos it didn't get before just because they're selected now. This is great for doing after using the master file solution I'm showing below, but if you do need to download everything after doing a more restrictive scan, you can once again follow the first few steps below to do so.
Recommended settings:
This will obviously vary by what you're trying to do, but one or two things weren't immediately obvious to me and I did say I think this was the best solution for less technical users, so I want give my personal recommendations. Settings can obviously be found under the settings button at the bottom of the screen (you may need to use the scrollbar on the UI for, which is separate from the scrollbar on the blogs panel), but when you click on a blog, when you click "Details" in the right sidebar, you can also see your most important settings at a glance and adjust them to whatever you want them to be "per blog". I believe TumblThree remembers what you last used for the blog and applies the things in settings only to new/other blogs.
The thing that is going to vary the most is how many different types of posts you want to back up (text, video, reblogs included, etc), so I'll leave that up to you. If you're going to export a media type, though, I generally recommend exporting the metadata too.
I already gave my preferred file names above and again that's going to be something that varies a lot by people. Hover over the "Filename template" box and it will give you all the options in the legend you can combine via underscores.
Leave "Skip .gif files" off unless you're hurting for hard drive space. This removes all the gifs from your download, and the reason this is provided as a separate setting is because gifs have relatively massive files (at least compared to a text file)
I'll be honest I haven't seen a difference between turning on and off "Group photo sets". Because of the way file names work, most conventions will naturally lead to photos from the same post all being in a row.
"Save texts as individual files": if you only want texts to be saved as their master text.txt and answers.txt files, uncheck this. If you want the individual files I highly recommend you also download the master file for searching purposes, in which case my recommendation is this:
1) Select to export texts only, leaving off all media options, and uncheck the "Save texts as individual files" option. 2) Export the blog. This will only result in two files, answers.txt and texts.txt. 3) Move these files elsewhere on the computer to save them. 4) With T3 closed, delete the folder for the blog and the blog's Indexes (see instructions at the end of this post for finding these). 5) Reopen T3, which shouldn't remember it ever saw the blog and create a new folder for it. Turn on the "Save texts as individual files", as well as any other media posts you want to download. 6) Export the entire blog again. 7) Move the texts.txt and answers.txt file back into the blog's folder.
I leave all other options on the Details tab off, except for:
"Force rescan" scans past the point it last backed up and searches the whole blog again. If you have a big blog, this is going to burn time. This is needed for the number of downloaded items in the panel to be accurate but I don't know why you would care or turn this on unless it lets you skip steps 3-4 above, but my blog is too big to burn through testing that, so if you try it, let me know and I'll update this post!
Master file backup solution:
See my 7 steps from above to skip having to do this, but if you accidentally do things out of order and then realize you still need the master files for texts post after backing everything else up, here's how you get it with minimal pain:
T3 will make an "Index" folder in both the main folder for the program where the exe is located and the destination folder where you have your blogs backing up (note: these were two very different places for me, if you just have it back up to the automatic Blogs folder within T3's folder, it might not create a second Index folder).
To make T3 "forget" what it has backed up previously so it goes through to the beginning and makes a master file that includes everything, all you have to do is remove the Index file(s) for the blog while it's closed so it doesn't remember it anymore. I backed my index up in another folder.
Check off for it to only download text posts, and then uncheck the "Save texts in individual files" option. This will cause it to only create the master answers.txt and texts.txt file on the rescan.
The combination of only going for one post type and only downloading one file for it means this rescan is relatively fast. When you look at your Blogs folder, you'll find a new folder has been created for your blog name (in my case, there was "n7punk" and "n7punk_2) and your output is in the new folder. I just moved it over to the original folder.
At this point you can restore the indexes, though I've only gotten it to half recognize them. I can get it to recognize my original n7punk folder so everything can stay there, but the total downloaded items is stuck at what it was when I did just the text posts. I don't really care, it was mainly the folder thing I wanted to fix. If you have lag between your last full backup and your master-only backup, this might cause some issues? I don't know because I made sure there wasn't lag, so I recommend doing another backup to add any missing items before doing this method.
You can also use this technique if you want to download only your original posts and then download everything else to a second folder. Adjust the setting to only download original posts, download the whole blog, close T3 and delete the indexes, rename the folder to whatever you want ("n7punk_original", etc), and then reopen T3 and set it to download everything and run it again from the start.
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