#non-bi people center men in our lives way more than we do ourselves

[youre-where-i-wanna-go]

replying this to a person (me) who has no cis men in her life at all and spends all her free time thinking about sapphic fictional characters is so funny like it really requires a whole other level of projection

but genuinely, responding "decenter men" to someone asking you to support survivors of abuse is disgusting and i honestly do not understand how people who victim-blame live with themselves, i truly don't. the lack of empathy is insane

[rat-bisexual]

A lot of bisexual history has been erased so I figured I’d remind you all of some quotes and clear up any misunderstandings about bisexuality.

Bisexuality has been described as attraction regardless of gender for decades

"I am bisexual because I am drawn to people regardless of gender"

-‘The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?’, 1987

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”

-Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”

-Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.”

-Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” View From Another Closet, 1976

“Over the past fifteen years, however, [one Caucasian man] has realized that he is ‘attracted to people — not their sexual identity’ and no longer cares whether his partners are male or female. He has kept his Bi identity and now uses it to refer to his attraction to people regardless of their gender.”  

-Paula C. Rust, “Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities,” Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Anthology, 1998

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”

-Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”

-Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

Bisexuality doesn’t have to mean a person “sees gender”

“[S]ome bisexuals say they are blind to the gender of their potential lovers and that they love people as people… For the first group, a dichotomy of genders between which to choose doesn’t seem to exist”

-Kathleen Bennett, “Feminist Bisexuality, a Both/And Option for an Either/Or World,” Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism,1992

"Some bisexual respondents bypass the issue of 'degrees' of attraction to women and men by defining bisexuals as a humanistic, gender-blind way of relating to others. They see bisexuality as a way of loving the person, not their sex, or being nondiscrimintory in their attractions to others. For example, Ludwica wrote, 'I feel as if I'm open to respond to the person, not just the gender.' "

-"Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution" by Paula C Rust 1995

“I believe that people fall in love with individuals, not with a sex… I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not be a significant category, though for some of us it may be.”

Ruth Hubbard, ‘There Is No ‘Natural�� Human Sexuality, Bi Women’ ,1986

“Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.”

-Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women, 1991

“Some of us are bisexual because we do not pay much attention to the gender of our attractions.”

-Bisexual Politics, Quiries and Visions, 1995

Bisexuality is inclusive of all genders

“Who is this group for exactly? Anyone who identifies as bisexual or thinks they are attracted to or interested in all genders… This newly formed [support] group is to create a supportive, safe environment for people who are questioning their sexual orientation and think they may be bisexual.”

-“Coming Out as Bisexual,” Bi Women, 1994

“It’s easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that’s the word) exclusive homosexuals than [bisexuals] who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders…”

-Martin Duberman, 1974 “The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotates a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.” -‘Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals’, Kory Martin-Damon, 1995

“Bisexual — being emotionally and physically attracted to all genders.”

-The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, “Out of the Past: Teacher’s Guide” 1999

"Bisexuality is much more than, and different from, the sensationalized 'third choice, best of both worlds' phenomena it's made out to be. Bisexuality is an inclusive term that defines immense possibilities avalable to us, whether we act on them or not."

-"Bi Any Other Name", Loraine Hutchens and Lani Ku'ahumany, 1991

"Bisexual consciousness, because of its amorphous quality and inclusive nature, posed a fundamental threat to the dualistic and exclusionary thought patterns which were- and still are- tenaciously held by both the gay liberation leadership and its enemies."

-"The Bisexual Movement's Beginnings in the 70s'', Bisexual politics, Naomi Tucker, 1995

Bisexuality historically and currently includes transgender and nonbinary people

“With respect to our integrity as bisexuals, it is our responsibility to include transgender people in our language, in our communities, in our politics, and in our lives”

-Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions by Naomi S Tucker, 1995

"Bisexuality is here defined as the capacity , regardless of the sexual identity label one chooses , to love and sexually desire both same - and other - gendered individuals . The term other-gendered is used here deliberately and is preferable to the term opposite - gendered , because other - gendered encompasses a recognition of the existence of transgendered and transsexual individuals , who may embrace gender identities other than [male and female]"

-"Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority" by Beth A. Firestein and Dallas Denny, 1996

“From the earliest years of the bi community, significant numbers of TV/TS [transvestite/transsexual] and transgender people have always been involved with it. The bi community served as a kind of refuge for people who felt excluded from the established gay and lesbian communities.”

-Kevin Lano, “Bisexuality and Transgenderism,” Anything That Moves, 1998

"Bisexuality means having the capacity to be attracted to people of both major genders ( don't forget: there are gender minorities, too) ." “As with the word Bisexual, they usually also imply that relations with gender minorities are possible.”

-‘Bisexuality: A Reader and a Sourcebook’, 1990

“There were a lot of transvestites and transsexuals who came to [the San Francisco Bisexual Center in the 1970s], because they were not going to be turned away because of the way they dressed.”

-David Lourea in “Bisexual Histories in San Francisco in the 1970s and Early 1980s,” Dworkin, 2000 Journal of Bisexuality

"The actual lived non-binary history of the bisexual community and movement and the inclusive culture and community spirit of bisexuals are eradicated when a binary interpretation of our name for ourselves is arbitrarily assumed."

-"Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out" by Lani Ka’ahumanu

"In the bisexual movement as a whole, transgendered individuals are celebrated not only as an aspect of the diversity of the bisexual community, but, because like bisexuals, they do not fit neatly into dichotomous categories."

-"Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics" by Paula C. Rust, 1995

[asafespotontheweb]

this post is a repost from <imgaybitheway.tumblr.com>, mainly because that blog seems to have since disappeared. this is really only for my personal keeping, as a reminder to the self. many of the typing errors have been fixed.

post begins below:

A lot of bisexual history has been erased so I figured I’d remind you all of some quotes and clear up any misunderstandings about bisexuality.

Bisexuality has been described as attraction regardless of gender for decades.

“I am bisexual because I am drawn to people regardless of gender.” - ‘The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?’, 1987

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.” - Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.” - Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.” - Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” View From Another Closet, 1976

“Over the past fifteen years, however, [one Caucasian man] has realized that he is ‘attracted to people -- not their sexual identity’ and no longer cares whether his partners are male or female. He has kept his Bi identity and now uses it to refer to his attraction to people regardless of their gender.” - Paula C. Rust, “Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities,” Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Anthology, 1998

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.” - Sex and Sexuality: A Thematic Dictionary of Quotations, 1993

Bisexuality doesn’t have to mean a person “sees gender”.

“[S]ome bisexuals say they are blind to the gender of their potential lovers and that they love people as people... For the first group, a dichotomy of genders between which to choose doesn’t seem to exist.” - Kathleen Bennett, “Feminist Bisexuality, a Both/And Option for an Either/Or World,” Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism, 1992

“Some bisexual respondents bypass the issue of ‘degrees’ of attraction to women and men by defining bisexuals as a humanistic, gender-blind way of relating to others. They see bisexuality as a way of loving the person, not their sex, or being nondiscriminatory in their attractions to others. For example, Ludwica wrote, ‘I feel as if I’m open to respond to the person, not just the gender.’ ” - “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution” by Paula C Rust, 1995

“I believe that people fall in love with individuals, not with a sex... I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not be a significant category, though for some of us it may be.” - Ruth Hubbard, ‘There Is No ‘Natural’ Human Sexuality, Bi Women’ , 1986

“Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.” - Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women, 1991

“Some of us are bisexual because we do not pay much attention to the gender of our attractions.” - Bisexual Politics, Quiries and Visions, 1995

Bisexuality is inclusive of all genders.

“Who is this group for exactly? Anyone who identifies as bisexual or thinks they are attracted to or interested in all genders... This newly formed [support] group is to create a supportive, safe environment for people who are questioning their sexual orientation and think they may be bisexual.” - “Coming Out as Bisexual,” Bi Women, 1994

“It’s easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that’s the word) exclusive homosexuals than [bisexuals] who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders...” - Martin Duberman, 1974

“The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotates a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.” - ‘Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals’, Kory Martin-Damon, 1995

“Bisexual - being emotionally and physically attracted to all genders.” - The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, “Out of the Past: Teacher’s Guide” 199?

“Bisexuality is much more than, and different from, the sensationalized ‘third choice, best of both worlds’ phenomena it’s made out to be. Bisexuality is an inclusive term that defines immense possibilities avalable to us, whether we act on them or not.” - “Bi Any Other Name”, Loraine Hutchens and Lani Ku'ahumany, 1991

“Bisexual consciousness, because of its amorphous quality and inclusive nature, posed a fundamental threat to the dualistic and exclusionary thought patterns which were -- and still are -- tenaciously held by both the gay liberation leadership and its enemies.” - “The Bisexual Movement’s Beginnings in the 70s”, Bisexual politics, Naomi Tucker, 1995

Bisexuality historically and currently includes transgender and nonbinary people.

“With respect to our integrity as bisexuals, it is our responsibility to include transgender people in our language, in our communities, in our politics, and in our lives.” - Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions by Naomi S Tucker, 1995

“Bisexuality is here defined as the capacity, regardless of the sexual identity label one chooses, to love and sexually desire both same -- and other -- gendered individuals. The term other-gendered is used here deliberately and is preferable to the term opposite -- gendered, because other -- gendered encompasses a recognition of the existence of transgendered and transsexual individuals, who may embrace gender identities other than [male and female.]” - “Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority” by Beth A. Firestein and Dallas Denny, 1996

“From the earliest years of the bi community, significant numbers of TV/TS [transvestite/transsexual] and transgender people have always been involved with it. The bi community served as a kind of refuge for people who felt excluded from the established gay and lesbian communities.” - Kevin Lano, “Bisexuality and Transgenderism,” Anything That Moves, 1998

“Bisexuality means having the capacity to be attracted to people of both major genders (don’t forget: there are gender minorities, too).” “As with the word Bisexual, they usually also imply that relations with gender minorities are possible.” - ‘Bisexuality: A Reader and a Sourcebook’, 1990

“There were a lot of transvestites and transsexuals who came to [the San Francisco Bisexual Center in the 1970s], because they were not going to be turned away because of the way they dressed.” - David Lourea in “Bisexual Histories in San Francisco in the 1970s and Early 1980s,” Dworkin, 2000 Journal of Bisexuality

“The actual lived non-binary history of the bisexual community and movement and the inclusive culture and community spirit of bisexuals are eradicated when a binary interpretation of our name for ourselves is arbitrarily assumed.” - “Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, ????

“In the bisexual movement as a whole, transgendered individuals are celebrated not only as an aspect of the diversity of the bisexual community, but, because like bisexuals, they do not fit neatly into dichotomous categories.” - “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics” by Paula C. Rust, 1995

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hey Maddie, I know maybe you can't help me with this, but I don't like very much that I feel more attracted to guys than girls. And I don't know if that's bc I don't have the best history with men, but I've heard that most bisexual women end up with men, and I feel like that will be my case? I know it's probably bc of heteronormativity but, how do you even go on finding other women to meet? (Sorry if it's an obvious question, I'm new to this) thanks Maddie.

Hello,

I’ve also heard this before that bi women are more often dating men than women. However, I don’t know if that really reflects the truth. I don’t know which study had claimed to have proven that and how they got their data. So I’m taking that information with a grain of salt. Bisexual people are so invisible in our society that I think there might be a lot who are getting classified as lesbians or straight women despite actually being on the multi-spectrum.

But let’s assume that it is true that bi women are more likely to date men then the explanation is relatively simple. You already brought up heteronormativity - that is definitly one important aspect. Some women just don’t live in a place or culture where dating a woman or non-binary person is an option because being openly queer puts them in danger. Or they have internalised biphobia that prevents them from embracing their attraction to multiple genders so they stick with only dating men. There is also biphobia from within the LGBTQIA+ community that many bi women (and other bi people) find alienating and is causing them to just not engage with the queer community at all, so there is less chance of meeting queer women they could potentially be interested in dating. And then at the end of the day there’s also the simple mathematical aspect that there are more men who are attracted to women than there are women attracted to women. So the pool of potential partners is bigger on one side.

Now, about your problem..... I find it notable that you say you do not like that you prefer men and that you don’t want to “end up with one”. I don’t want to discredit your bisexual identity and I hope you don’t take it that way but I’d feel like I was omitting something if I didn’t bring up the possibility that you might not actually be attracted to men. Looking at the future and thinking “I hope I’m not one of those bi women who end up with a man” doesn’t really sound like you’re all too comfortable with your feelings towards men. Have you thought about that possibility? Maybe you have and if you’re certain that you really like men and that the issue lies elsewhere then end of discussion! I believe you and won’t argue with that. But if you’re not really sure or find yourself re-questioning that a lot then I think you should know that this could be a sign of being a lesbian. Doesn’t have to. But could. 

But there are other explanations as well that don’t end in “might actually be a lesbian”. So assuming you are really attracted to men then, as you already said, your past negative experiences with men could explain why you are hesitant about dating men again. It may take some time (or maybe even help from a therapist) to work through those bad memories and to learn how to trust men again and be comfortable with your attraction to them.

Then there is also that nasty motherfucker called internalised biphobia. Many bi women feel like they aren’t allowed to identify as bi anymore if they date a man. They are afraid of “not being queer enough” and biphobes make us feel like we have to hate men and hate ourselves for being attracted to men if we want to be a part of the queer community. Bi women who have internalised that specific type of biphobia (often that is coming from within the LGBTQIA+ community) feel like they have to apologise and repent for their attraction to men and like it makes us second-class queers or “unpure”. If that is the case here with you then I’d recommend you check this post with detailed advice about internalised biphobia and keep reminding yourself that even with a strong preference for men you are 100% bisexual and biphobes can go fuck themselves.

A different (also internalised biphobic) aspect in your personal journey might be that you seem to be inexperienced with women? Are you maybe afraid you will miss out on making that experience? You can still identify as bisexual even without ever having kissed a had sex with a woman, but it’s also understandable that you may want to explore this and for the time being would like to focus on dating women, instead of men. Maybe that could even make your preference shift or even out (or maybe not, just saying: it’s a possibility). Just because you currently prefer men doesn’t mean it’ll always be that way (but it is fine if is always that way!)

How can you meet other queer women? Well, if there’s a queer space in your area, like a cafe or party or resource center with meet-up groups that could be a good start. There’s also online dating (which I’d only recommend if you’re of legal age!) and once you have built a friend circle of queer people over time you might just meet your future girlfriend through that. And generally, if you want to and can safely be more open about being interested in women (through wearing Pride colours for example or playing with some queer stereotypes in your appearance) then the lesboons and m-spec ladies might be able to spot you from afar and come running towards you ;-)

Maddie

[your-dietician]

Megan Fox celebrates 'putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades'

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/entertainment/megan-fox-celebrates-putting-the-b-in-lgbtqia-for-over-two-decades/

Megan Fox celebrates 'putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades'

Happy Pride Month, she’s, gays and they’s.

It’s the queerest time of the year – yes, the whole month of June – when the LGBTQ community comes together to celebrate being out and proud. Pride started as a protest outside the Stonewall Inn in 1969 in New York, and the community wouldn’t be as outspoken as it is today without the work of Black and Latinx transgender women.

The coronavirus pandemic thwarted traditional Pride parades and other debauchery last year. With the country reopening again, members of the LGBTQ community can more readily gather safely this time around.

But how are LGBTQ celebrities partaking in Pride Month this year, and what does it mean to them? We asked some – and are monitoring many others’ social media accounts throughout June – to tell us their thoughts.

Interesting: Is coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community over? No, but it could be someday.

Megan Fox has been ‘putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades’

Actress Megan Fox celebrated Pride Month with a series of selfies that included a rainbow French manicure.

“Putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades,” Fox, 35, captioned the photos June 26 on Instagram with two rainbow emojis and a Pride hashtag.

She also promoted two charities in the caption: Move On, an organization that refers to itself as “a force for social justice and political progress,” and Into Action, “a movement of designers, illustrators, animators and artists building cultural momentum around civic engagement and the issues affecting our country and world.”

More: Machine Gun Kelly, Megan Fox pack on the PDA at Billboard Music Awards: Their relationship timeline

Former ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ star Laganja Estranja comes out as trans

Drag queen and choreographer Laganja Estranja, who appeared in the 2014 season of reality competition show “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” announced she is “so proud to identify as trans” in an Instagram post for Pride Month.

Story continues

“I feel so empowered that I don’t have to hide in the shadows as I make this journey,” she wrote in a June 15 post, thanking “all the trans brothers and sisters that came before me who fought so that my coming out could be joyous!”

Estranja’s given name off-stage is Jay Jackson, which she told Entertainment Weekly she still plans to go by with those close to her.

“I am so proud to identify as TRANS and to be living my truth. Happy PRIDE, you are beautiful as you are.”

Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff march in Pride parade

Vice President Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff wore Pride T-shirts and joined marchers for the Capital Pride Parade on June 12 in Washington, DC.

Harris’ shirt read “Love is love” and Emhoff’s showed a series of text reading “Love first” in a variety of colors.

The vice president stopped and talked to the crowd, according to pool reports.

“We still have so much to do. We celebrate all the accomplishments,” she said. “Finally marriage is the law of the land. We need to make sure that our transgender community are all protected.”

Harris shared a similar message on Instagram the next day where she also recalled the honor of officiating the wedding of Kris Perry and Sandy Steir, whose court case paved the way for marriage equality in California. She noted a need to expand protections for the LGBTQ community in housing, employment and education.

“I want you to know we see you, we hear you and the president and I will not rest until everyone has equal protection under the law,” she said.

Vice President Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff join marchers for the Capital Pride Parade on June 12, 2021 in Washington, DC.

JoJo Siwa celebrates first Pride, 5-month anniversary with girlfriend

JoJo Siwa is celebrating her “first Pride” this month, which also coincides with her and her girlfriend’s five-month anniversary.

“Happy pride month!” Siwa, 18, captioned a June 4 Instagram post with a rainbow emoji. “It’s time to celebrate being who you are and LOVING who YOU wanna LOVE!!❤️”

In the post, Siwa and girlfriend Kylie Prew are shown beaming and embracing while wearing rainbow getups in front of a huge “PRIDE” display. The internet star, who started out on “Dance Moms” in the mid-2010s, came out in January as a member of the LGBTQ community, later sharing she identified as queer and pansexual. For the couple’s one-month anniversary in February, she divulged in a sweet post that she was “the happiest I have ever been.”

“It really has been the best 5 months of my life truly being exactly who I am and finding love has been the best part of it all,” Siwa added in her new post. “I love this human so much. I’m so happy❤️”

‘You’re a shining example’: Elton John praises JoJo Siwa at ‘Can’t Cancel Pride’ event

Miley Cyrus seeks to put a stop to homophobia

Miley Cyrus’s message for Pride was blunt: “STOP homophobia whenever and wherever you see it,” the singer wrote on Instagram alongside photos of herself next to a stop sign. She tagged her Happy Hippie Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to providing resources to LGBTQ youth, homeless citizens and other vulnerable communities.

The former Disney star spoke about being pansexual and gender-fluid in Variety’s 2016 Power of Women L.A. issue and said she discovered her identity through through the LGBTQ center in L.A.

“I saw one human in particular who didn’t identify as male or female,” she said. “Looking at them, they were both: beautiful and sexy and tough but vulnerable and feminine but masculine. And I related to that person more than I related to anyone in my life. Even though I may seem very different, people may not see me as neutral as I feel. But I feel very neutral.”

Alexandra Shipp says it’s ‘never too late to be you’

“X-Men: Apocalypse” star Alexandra Shipp took to Instagram on June 3 to share “regrets” for not coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community earlier and to encourage fans to be themselves.

“I didn’t come out until I was 28. Though I don’t believe in regrets, this would definitely be #1 for myself. I denied denied denied,” Shipp wrote. “I struggled with not only my sexuality, but my femininity. I was scared it was too late. I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to get work. I was scared no one would ever love me. Scared. Scared. Scared.”

The 29-year-old added that she is now “happy in ways I don’t think my kid self could imagine.”

“It’s never too late to be you. If I don’t work because of a flawed, racist and homophobic system, then it was never the right thing for me … I’m not scared anymore. I have #pride in who I am and what I’m doing on this planet.”

Janelle Monáe encourages LGBTQ community to ‘shine hard’

Janelle Monáe came out as pansexual during a 2018 Rolling Stone interview and in 2021 she is using social media to spread love.

Pansexuality is attraction to all gender identities, or attracted to people regardless of gender, according to GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis.

Saturday the “Tightrope” singer reposted words from a tweet by LGBTQ writer and activist Alexander Leon.

“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise (sic) humiliation & prejudice,” Leon wrote. “The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us.”

She finished the post with a series of emojis including rainbows and spaceships calling herself a “kid for life.”

“For those of us who spent time in the dark and had to build worlds to protect ourselves Shine HARD. I love us,” she wrote.

More: Janelle Monáe comes out as pansexual (and it’s not the same as bisexual)

Former ‘America’s Next Top Model’ contestant Lio Tipton comes out as queer, nonbinary

Lio Tipton who starred in Cycle 11 of “America’s Next Top Model” and played the role of babysitter Jessica in the movie “Crazy, Stupid, Love” reintroduced themself on Instagram Wednesday.

“Hi. My name is Lio. My pronouns are they/them. I am proud to announce I am queer and I identify as non binary,” they wrote.

Tipton’s caption was linked to an illustration featuring a unique robot among other droids depicted to match one of two categories a call to the binary nature of gender.

They finished the post with a rainbow flag and a heart writing: “I hope to give as much love and support back to those who continue to show love and support for the Pride community at large.”

‘High School Musical’ spinoff actor Larry Saperstein comes out as bisexual

Actor Larry Saperstein, who plays Big Red on Disney+ show “High School Musical: The Musical: The Series,” announced he is bisexual Tuesday on social media.

Saperstein, 23, shared in a TikTok video that he “plays a character with a girlfriend on TV,” but “is bi (in real life).” In the current season, his character, a theater tech crew member-turned-performer, is dating fellow theater cast member Ashlyn (Julia Lester).

“is it really that unexpected tho #pride,” Saperstein added of his announcement in the video caption.

Laverne Cox celebrates intersectional Pride

Laverne Cox, who has made waves in Hollywood as a trans woman, posted on Instagram to celebrate Pride with the theory of intersectionality.

The “Orange is the New Black” star listed names of Black feminists who contributed to the theory of intersectionality which is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination combine, overlap, or intersect.”

“My pride is intersectional. I bring all of me into pride month. I believe true liberation must be intersectional,” Cox wrote.

Under a photo of Cox dressed in a golden leotard, she named 11 key figures of intersectionality and called on her fans to name the rest.

“There are so many names. Who have I left out? List them below. Happy Pride Month,” she wrote.

Tan France wants to ��champion diversity’ for LGBTQ community

“Queer Eye” style expert Tan France who is expecting his first child with husband Rob, opened Pride Month with an Instagram post of him fashionably wrapped in a rainbow flag with a star-like flower adorned on his head.

In the caption France made it a point to approach Pride Month with love and support.

“Let’s celebrate and champion the diversity of our community,” France wrote. “Let’s show compassion to those who don’t feel that they can come out yet, and offer them love and support as they work through it, knowing there is a supportive community, waiting to welcome them with open arms and hearts.”

Busy Philipps praises her child Birdie for Pride Month

The “Girls5Eva” actress posted a selfie of her and 12-year-old child Birdie, who came out as gay last year and uses them/they pronouns, to celebrate Pride Month.

“Today is the start of PRIDE MONTH! I have so much pride for this kid and everything they are and do,” Philipps wrote.

She shares Birdie with her husband, screenwriter Marc Silverstein, and took to Instagram to brag on Birdie’s ability to give back.

“Birdie decided to start gathering the unopened makeup and hygiene items from me and other influencer types(actors, singers, makeup and hair artists) to donate to the @lalgbtcenter for the queer and trans youth that the Center provides a safe space for,” Philipps wrote. “Well. Thanks to many of my friends, Birdie was able to donate HUNDREDS of items to the center.”

Pride Month: Busy Philipps reveals her 12-year-old child Birdie is gay, ‘prefers they/them’ pronouns

In December 2020, Philipps revealed on an episode her podcast “Busy Philipps Is Doing Her Best,” that Birdie was gay and used nonbinary pronouns.

“I want Birdie to be in control of their own narrative and not have to answer to anybody outside of our friends and family if they don’t want to,” Philipps said.

Taylor Swift urges senators to pass the equality act

The “You Need To Calm Down” singer is “proudly” teaming up with GLAAD for its “Summer of Equality” campaign to help get the Equality Act passed.

“Who you love and how you identify shouldn’t put you in danger, leave you vulnerable or hold you back in life,” Swift wrote in a statement posted to Twitter Tuesday. “I proudly join GLAAD in their #summerofequality and add my voice to those who support The Equality Act. Happy Pride Month!”

The Equality Act would amend existing civil rights law to explicitly include sexual orientation and gender identification as protected characteristics. Those protections would extend to employment, housing, loan applications, education and other areas.

Swift took a moment to thank her fellow “courageous activists, advocates and allies for their dedication to fighting against discrimination and hatred.”

She continued: “As always, today I am sending my respect and love to those bravely living out their truth, even when the world we live in still makes that so hard to do.”

It’s ‘so upsetting’: Taylor Swift calls out 2020 census for ‘brutal’ transgender erasure

GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis thanked Swift for her advocacy and said the goal of their “Summer of Equality” campaign is to “get every senator to vote yes.”

The bill passed the U.S. House 224-206 in February, with all Democrats but just three Republicans supporting it. Its fate in the closely divided Senate is uncertain. The House also passed the bill in the last Congress, but it didn’t advance to the Senate.

Niecy Nash: ‘Love should be at the forefront’

Niecy Nash and wife Jessica Betts got married in August – when virtually no one even knew Nash was queer.

“I am proud of who I am,” she says. “I am proud of my relationship. I’m proud of our marriage. I am just proud to be a Black woman who (lives) life on her own terms and does it out loud.”

How’s she digging the newlywed life? “It’s treating me great,” she says. “I’m married to one of the most beautiful souls.” A typical weekend for the pair involves good food, swimming and relaxing in the hot tub, she says.

Surprise! Niecy Nash reveals wedding to singer Jessica Betts and shares photo with fans

Niecy Nash hosts this year’s GLAAD Media Awards.

Nash didn’t know what to expect once she revealed her truth to the world, “but my close friends and family were extremely supportive and so that was the most important part for me,” she says.

She’s been vocal about how she didn’t come out – she “never hid anything” – but rather came into herself.

“I feel like you only really need courage in the face of fear,” she says. “And I don’t know if I was afraid in as much as I was just cautious, because I did not know how we were going to be received in the world.”

Plans for her first Pride Month aren’t set in stone yet, but she encourages people to lead with love.

“The world needs so much love right now because we’ve come through a really tough year and there’s so many things happening in the world that bring stress and chaos,” she says. “Love should be at the forefront of any conversation that anybody is having.”

In case you missed: Niecy Nash says marrying Jessica Betts wasn’t a ‘coming out,’ but a ‘going into myself’

Candis Cayne reflects on first Pride, need to band together for trans community

Actress Candis Cayne acknowledged that Pride has changed over the years – especially since she came out (Cayne came out twice, but as transgender in 1995).

“When I first came out, Pride Month was about fighting for our rights. It was about marching, it was about telling the world that we were OK with who we were, and we were valued people in the community. And luckily, more and more, it’s been accepted,” she says. That said, there’s still a ways to go.

Her first Pride was in New York City, where she saw a sea of people on Fifth Avenue.

“I remember just vividly thinking, ‘There’s more of us out there than I thought,’ ” she says. She’s done New York Pride for about 20 years, including performing on floats, and she recalled dressing as Wonder Woman and jumping off a truck and pretending to push it forward and backward – a magical, quintessential Pride moment.

‘I get goosebumps’: Laverne Cox on Netflix transgender history doc, landmark Supreme Court decision

She doesn’t have plans just yet for Pride – she is vaccinated and encourages others to do the same – but “might just have a get together and celebrate Pride in a more intimate way this year.”

She encourages the LGBTQ community to come together and support the transgender community amid ongoing legal battles and violence.

“Seeing how our community’s being affected right now, with all the legislation, how trans women of color are being murdered at an alarming rate, I think that’s something that we really need to focus on as a community and band together,” she says.

‘From Disclosure’ to ‘Pose’: What movies, shows to watch on Trans Day of Visibility

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ actor Jake Borelli talks growing in his queerness

“Grey’s Anatomy” star Jake Borelli viewed Pride Month as a celebration when he was younger. But after publicly coming out in 2018 and spending more time in queer spaces with a variety of queer people, he had time to reflect on what Pride is really about.

“As I’ve grown in my queerness, and my relationship to my own queerness, I know wholeheartedly that it’s a riot, and it is a protest,” the actor, who plays Dr. Levi Schmitt, says. “At this point in my queerness, I feel like I can’t allow myself to stand anymore for the negative way society has made me feel about my queerness and Pride and Pride Month, and Pride gatherings.”

The absence of physical queer spaces during the pandemic forced him to think even deeper.

Did you see? How Lil Nas X, JoJo Siwa and Zaya Wade are teaching kids to be more inclusive

“That caused me to start thinking a lot more introspectively about what it means to be queer and what growing up as a gay person surrounded by straight people really actually did to my psyche in the long term, and I’ve found myself having to re-parent myself right now as as a queer man, re-parenting my younger queer self,” he says.

He’s been to a host of different Pride celebrations in his life, from Los Angeles and New York to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio.

“It was such an incredible experience to go back to my hometown where I was fully closeted, and didn’t feel like I could be my full self and to see that there was an entire group of people who were pushing forward in Columbus for the queer community and had been forever,” he says.

His advice for queer people going on similar journeys as himself?

“Be patient with yourself and everyone who’s around you,” he says with a laugh. “I have to remind myself that every day.”

Leyna Bloom talks Pride Month, how she celebrates ‘every single day’

“Port Authority” star Leyna Bloom recently opened up to USA TODAY in a Q&A about how she celebrates Pride Month daily.

Leyna Bloom stars as Wye in the drama “Port Authority.”

“Pride is not just this time when we can explore things that are in us that we’re raised to suppress and now we’re taught to express it in the sun and in the streets and the world just for one month,” Bloom says. “It’s something that I have to do every single day of my life. I have to wake up and be proud that I’m alive and (ask) ‘Why am I here? And what am I doing here, and am I going to be able to help people?’

“Through all the most traumatic experiences in my life and in the world, seeds are being planted everywhere I go. And this summer 2021, everything is blooming at the same time: Sports Illustrated, movies, TV shows. It is really a moment to be Black, be queer, be trans, be Asian, so I’m just honestly going to celebrate every single day that I’m allowed to be alive to have those moments. So I’m really excited to see what else I can do and how we can elevate our community to unite.”

Contributing: Anika Reed and Cydney Henderson, USA TODAY; The Associated Press

For more on that interview: ‘Port Authority’ star Leyna Bloom on trans love story, how she celebrates Pride Month daily

‘We’re not there yet’: LGBTQ representation dips on broadcast TV, GLAAD study reveals

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Pride 2021: Megan Fox, JoJo Siwa, more stars celebrate month

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[missionaryish]

November Update

The Snapshot:

NEWS:

We are back from the Thailand vision trip. During the trip, we got to introduce trip participants to churches and ministries in both Bangkok and Cha-am, the cities where we both served.

Family Promise week is over, and now we are exploring ways to continue partnering with this organization.

We hosted a second wedding reception this past weekend for friends and family in California.

We are up to 20 monthly ministry partners!

“Bi-vocational ministry” is doing what you love, with the gifts you have, in a “life on life” approach to sharing about Jesus with others. We want to know how we can all do this in our own lives.

PRAY:

Thailand vision trip: Please pray that God continues to remind us all of the people we came to know and love, the cultural and spiritual experiences that moved us to pray, and the lessons we felt convicted to apply in our lives back home. Please pray that each of us is open to God’s next steps for us.

Family Promise: Please pray for God to give us opportunities to share about Him with both families and volunteers.

“Round 2” wedding reception: Praise God that we got to celebrate the start of our marriage with more family and friends!

Ministry partnership: Please pray for God to continue providing us with more ministry partners. (And ask Him if you are one of them!)

Missionary-ish: Pray and ask God to show you how to use your gifts and talents to share about Him with people in your life. Please pray that for us as well!

The Story:

(Reagan speaking)

**Thailand Vision Trip: **

David and I have been back from Thailand for a few weeks now! Now that we are well over jet lag and heat strokes, we are excited to share about the vision trip.

Most of our days were spent in Thailand’s capital city, connecting with the church David partnered with, Grace City Bangkok. The church is focusing heavily on what they call “bi-vocational ministry,” or ways we can each live missionally while working our normal jobs, exercising the gifts and talents with which God has equipped us. We heard from a panel of men and women in the church who are actively seeking ways to bring Jesus into their workplaces (i.e., have meaningful spiritual conversations with co-workers), and we discussed how vision trip participants could do the same if God called them to live and work in Bangkok. This is an approach that’s much different from traditional missions, in which people leave their jobs to go into full-time ministry. This “bi-vocational” practice just a call for any Christian -- not just the pastors and missionaries -- to live intentionally, no matter where they are or what kind of job they are doing.

We also introduced the team to a few other ministries in Bangkok, including Napada, which employs Thai women from low-income communities; Samaritan Creations, which gives opportunities to men and women coming out of prostitution and sex trafficking; and Bible studies and small groups started by David and others in the church. We also visited some refugees who are currently being held in the Immigration Detention Center, and we were able to pray with them and bring them food and other necessities.

I took a couple that had supported me while I was in Thailand down to Cha-am to visit my former team and ministry there. For them to take part in the life of the ministry they had been supporting -- that was basically living the dream for me. It was so encouraging to have them experience what life looked like for me and be a part of the Sunday worship service with the Thai believers.

We missionaries call our prayer and financial supporters “ministry partners” for a reason: it’s not just us behind the work out there. We are enabled and empowered by the prayers, encouragement, and especially presence of our partnering families and churches. It’s a huge deal to us to give them the real-life picture of what we do everyday so that they know specifically how to pray, encourage, and further support both the missionaries and the ministry. **This is the Body of Christ in action. **

(Check out this post for more on why churches should visit their missionaries.)

For all who prayed for the trip, thank you so much! We don’t want this to be a one-and-done experience for any of us who went. Please pray that God continues to remind us all of the people we came to know and love, the cultural and spiritual experiences that moved us to pray, and the lessons we felt convicted to apply in our lives back home. Of course, our desire is that God calls people from the group back to serve in Thailand. Please pray that each of them is open to God’s call, wherever that is.

David is currently working on a video, in which we will share more stories and experiences from the vision trip. Stay tuned!

Family Promise:

Right after we got back to California, we jumped right into volunteer coordinating for Family Promise week. Trinity (our church) partnered with another local church to provide meals, activities, and a place to stay for three families in the Family Promise program. Thanks for your prayers - God provided all the volunteers we needed to pull it off!

David and I really enjoyed having dinner and hanging out with some of the moms and kids who stayed at the church that week. For a lot of us, it’s easy to feel intimidated by people dealing with hardships we haven’t ever experienced ourselves. But, at the end of the day, we all deal with a lot of the same things, like worrying we’ll mess up at our jobs and trying to parent hyperactive kids and working hard to make life better for our families. So having a normal conversation wasn’t so hard after all.

We are exploring ways to continue partnering with this organization. We are curious about how our church can take a sort of “bi-vocational ministry” approach to this by not only focusing on serving and embodying the Gospel to the families in the program, but the non-Christian volunteers as well. Please pray for God to give us opportunities to share about Him with both families and volunteers with Family Promise.

Other Stuff:

In non-ministry related news, we also officially wrapped up all things wedding this past weekend by throwing a “Round 2: West Coast-Style” wedding reception. We loved celebrating, worshiping, and eating more doughnuts with David’s friends and family members, many of whom weren’t able to make it to the wedding. My parents and one of my best friends even came out for the occasion! #alwaysreadytoparty

Photo cred: Enoch Chao. View the whole album here.

Speaking of photos... Our wedding photos are in! You can view them here. Photo cred: Caroline Eliza.

Ministry Partnership:

We are up to 20 monthly ministry partners! Thank you so much to all who are joining with us in “How to Be Missionary-ish”. We want a bunch of people to be a part of this effort, regardless of whether they can give a penny or $1000, which is why we are measuring our support by number of ministry partners rather than number of dollars. No matter how much a person contributes, the point is that they are choosing to invest in kingdom work beyond their own sphere of workplace and neighborhood life, and that’s cool!

We are still looking for 180 more partners to join our team. **Would you please pray and ask God if He is calling you to be a part of what He is doing through this ministry at Trinity Presbyterian Church in OC? ** Read here if you’d like to know more about what that is. If you would like to learn more about how to be part, click here to read the FAQ or sign up to join the team.

Missionary-ish:

Kim, one of the vision trip participants (and a veteran Thailand missionary) described the idea of “bi-vocational ministry” this way:

_Bi-vocation: this was special. I personally loved hearing all the ways that simple ministry is the approach being taken. My time in Thailand was more of a program approach where an idea for a program was presented and then we had to figure out manning it and keeping it going vs. the organic approach of doing what you love, with the gifts you have in a life on life approach. I feel that is a sustainable ministry practice that will bear fruit. I love the way Grace City is utilizing people from all sorts of ministries and vocations to work together for the good of the city. It’s beautiful. I think this also helps us participants see how we can do the same thing where we are. It challenges us to intentionality. This was all presented to us simply and beautifully. No songs and dance routines to grow the kingdom. Just simple life on life. _

What could this look like for you, in your home and workplace? How can you do what you love, with the gifts you have, in a “life on life” approach to sharing about Jesus with others? Think about it, pray about it, and let us know.

[shotfromguns]

I’ve been seeing some Fresh Shitty Takes over the past day or two revivifying my “butch/femme is exclusive to lesbians for Reasons (TM)” Discourse Headache. Some of them were articulated by folks whose writing in other areas I’ve very much appreciated and respected.

All of these posts—all of them—are at their hearts inescapably biphobic.

To be clear, when I talk about “biphobia,” I am making use of a shorthand for describing a set of experiences specific to bisexual people—in this case bisexual women—that grows out of the interaction of actual forms of systemic oppression like homophobia and misogyny. (Cf. lesbophobia, which describes the experiences that grow out of these oppressive systems that are specific to lesbian women.) There is no coherent “monosexual” class, there is no such thing as “monosexual privilege,” and anyone using this post as a springboard to claim that there is will have their lesbophobic/homophobic ass blocked as soon as I see them.

Long shit under the cut...

I’m not going to bother to touch on the individual inconsistencies (e.g., “these terms don’t mean anything anymore... but somehow simultaneously it’s important to me that bi women not touch them!”). I’m just going to highlight a few of the most egregiously biphobic assumptions that lay at the heart of the worldview that butch/femme dynamics are exclusively the purview of lesbians.

1. Butch/femme labels/identities/presentations/paradigms are for women navigating relationships with other women.

When this is your argument, what you are saying is, “Bi women do not need to navigate relationships with other wlw,” and, “I will never need to navigate a relationship with a bi woman.”

Like, if you’re a lesbian who just categorically nixes bi women as an option? Fine, your prerogative. But please just own your biphobia so we can avoid each other honestly instead of trying to couch it in The Discourse to frame yourself as the wounded party here.

2. Bi women are trying to appropriate lesbian experiences.

What lesbian experiences, exactly? Pursuing women? Being pursued by women? Fucking women? Being fucked by women? Dating women? Loving and being loved by women? These are wlw experiences; not lesbian-exclusive ones.

We can AND SHOULD talk about whether it's appropriate for, e.g., “femme” bi women in monogamous m/f relationships to continue to describe themselves in terms built around wlw relationships when they’re neither pursuing nor open to being pursued by other women. But that’s... not remotely representative of all bi women? It doesn’t describe me (masc-of-center, dating another masc-of-center woman, both of us bi, neither of us interested in actively pursuing men), and it doesn’t describe the vast majority of bi women I personally know, either.

The fact that the “butch/femme is lesbian-exclusive” side of this debate continually and continuously holds up that particular example to the exclusion of any other conception of how bi women exist—which fucking all of you do—boils down to a categorical assertion that bi women are a bunch of effectively hetero pseudo-queers claiming marginalization so we can cash in on that Hot Hot Gay Cachet while performing traditional femininity, fucking men, and enjoying what amounts to straight privilege with a rainbow flag draped on top. I hope it’s self-evident why that’s... inappropriate.

3. Butch/femme labels were developed by lesbians, for lesbians.

These labels were developed by wlw, for wlw. Many (probably most) of them at the time referred to themselves as lesbian. But the ways we view ourselves and talk about ourselves have changed over time, and wlw communities have always included women attracted to other genders as well.

There are exactly two scenarios where a wlw community doesn’t include women whose experiences map onto what we today call “bisexual”: (1) it’s, in the fine radfem tradition of last century, deliberately excluding us for being crypto-heteros and traitors to our gender for admitting any attraction to men; or (2) we’re there, but calling ourselves something other than bisexual.

Absolutely, we can’t and shouldn’t remap old sexual identities onto modern terms. Which is exactly why someone can’t claim that “lesbian” 30, 40, 50 years ago is the same thing as “lesbian” today. We need to look at the historical communities of wlw and recognize that they were just as diverse as they are now, even as those experiences were mapped onto different conceptions of how to exist as a wlw—which means that it’s equally inappropriate (a) for current bi women to claim that all historical “lesbians” who also had relationships with men would ID as bisexual today and (b) for current lesbian women to claim all historical “lesbians” would ID as lesbian today.

It’s ridiculous for either bisexual or lesbian women to erase the lives and identities of earlier generations of wlw (or older living wlw) because of some compulsion to cram the past into the new Balkanized model that grew up through the late 20th century. (Side note: It could just be Tumblr demographics in action, but I am not at all surprised that most of the people I see being vocal about this are no older than their mid 20s.) The only way it makes sense to say that “lesbians” created butch/femme for “lesbians” so it should only be used by “lesbians” is if you literally warp yourself back in time to that moment, set up a time loop, and live in it forever, so that “lesbian” will mean exactly what it did in that moment and continue to do so. You can’t map what it means to be a lesbian in 2017 onto what it meant to be a lesbian in 1967; or, rather, when you do so, you have to recognize that it’s not a 1:1 match, and you need to make space for those 1967 lesbians whose experiences were not yours and stop trying to claim the ones that aren’t purely by virtue of having inherited the same word that’s since gone through an evolution. We need to look at the wlw who helped build the culture we have now—whatever words they used to describe themselves—and recognize that ALL OF US OWN IT, AND ALL OF US ARE EQUALLY INVESTED IN IT. The fact that some bisexuals have straight-passing privileges some of the time does not invalidate that all wlw are oppressed by homophobia—even if we experience that marginalization in different ways and to different degrees at different points in our lives. Being invisible is safer than being hypervisible, but it is not the same thing as being privileged—and, again, many bi women are exactly as visible as and have no more passing privileges than lesbian women do.

4. Butch/femme labels/identities/presentations/paradigms belong to women who aren’t attracted to men.

This is what it really all comes down to: the misogynistic, homophobic idea that the single most important, most deeply defining aspect of bisexual women is that we [have fucked men] and/or [may theoretically in the future fuck men].

This drips with the insidious, misogynistic, biphobic framing of bi women as being "available to men." Yes, absolutely, it's vital to talk about the ways in which lesbians being categorically unavailable to men leads to unique experiences of misogyny and homophobia for them. But to take that important consideration and flip it around the other way is so, so dangerous—this is not a parallel, reversible idea.

Bisexual women are incredibly disproportionately victims of sexual violence and intimate partner violence. This 2010 report from the CDC, for example, paints a pretty horrific picture:

Bisexual women had significantly higher lifetime prevalence of rape and sexual violence other than rape by any perpetrator when compared to both lesbian and heterosexual women.

Bisexual women had significantly higher lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner when compared to both lesbian and heterosexual women.

Exactly why bisexual women are so disproportionately abused is a complex issue with a lot of potential interwoven causes, but it’s absolutely undeniable that stereotypes like, oh, say, being “available” to men are a serious contributing factor. This is deeply gross language rooted in patriarchal bullshit. Bi women are not “available to men.” We are some of us attracted to some individual men in addition to women. That’s all it means.

There is literally no categorical conclusion to be drawn about how we interact with other women on this basis.

I recognize that it’s important for lesbian women to be able to articulate their identities and experiences as lesbians specifically (just as it is important for bi women to be able to articulate our identities and experiences as bisexuals specifically), outside of our broader shared experiences as wlw.

The problem with staking out butch/femme as exclusively lesbian is that there is nothing either in the history of butch/femme or in their modern meanings that reasonably restricts their usage to a smaller circle than all wlw who are involved with and/or pursuing other wlw—so the only way to do so is by artificially, biphobically excluding bi women from a shared set of experiences.

If anybody thinks they have a genuinely unique and non-biphobic contribution to make, I’m all for it. But at this point, having seen nothing but the same tired excuses to throw bisexuals under the bus like that’s in any way going to help lesbians assert a unique lesbian identity, I’m really, really doubtful.