#nobody's really talking about this anymore so i'm just screaming at the sky but the whole

[anirudhpisharody]

911 is not a soap opera it's a procedural drama those are two different genres

[popchoc]

Special Ops Lioness - I’ll let you choose between Cruz/Aaliyah, Cruz/Joe or Cruz/Josie - I’d read all/any!

Prompt 35 - Can we start over?

Pleases and thank you 😊

Starting off easy, huh? Let me tell you, this was quite the challenge (having never written for them to start with), but also good practice, so thank you! About the pairing: though my mind immediately went to Cruz/Aaliyah (because let's face it, who wouldn't want them to have such a chance), I realized that a story like that deserves way more words and context than a short drabble can offer. So I went for another approach. Hope you like it!

Cruz & Josie - Can We Start Over?

About to enter the bedroom that over the past few months somehow turned into their bedroom, Cruz abruptly stops on the threshold.

Dressed in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of shorts that might as well be her briefs, Josie is doing some serious number of pull-ups; the sight of it being enough to make Cruz gasp for air. With bent knees, ankles crossed steadily and knuckles white from their tight grip, she works her body like a machine, showing off those strong biceps, rolling shoulder blades and tight back muscles in one synchronized dance. The beads of sweat are there for the finishing touch.

Gazing at the piece of art in front of her, she completely forgets why she's here. But then her mind wanders back.

Cruz doesn't mind conflict. Doesn't care what people think of her. Growing up with nobody understanding, appreciating, even liking her, she learned early on how to stand tall without any of that. How not to need anything, whether it was from her heartless parents, her heartless classmates or—later on—her heartless lovers. It's a simple fact to her, something she doesn't consider a problem. She could still have her fun, sometimes even more than that, with others, without having to win them over. Hell, they could hate her for all she cares. It doesn't upset her.

Usually.

Today is different. This morning she and Josie found themselves in their first argument, their first real confrontation. Not some bickering about who should buy eggs or what movie to watch, but a full blown fight, with screaming and shouting—largely from her part—and eventually walking away from it all. From her. The woman she's barely been without since Sky Hawk.

Once away, Cruz threw herself into her usual coping methods. Pushing her car to its limit. Making noise at the shooting range. Downing an ice-cold beer, and then another one. Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake off that feeling she'd left the house with. It stuck to her like a hot and humid summer storm. Heavy and suffocating. Which could only mean one thing.

She cared.

Not just about the subject, although it was a serious one, but about the fight itself. About the way she'd left Josie behind. Sad? Angry? Maybe even hating her?

That thought alone was what's killing her. And enough to soldier up and go home.

Still lingering in the doorway, she clears her throat, making Josie glance over her shoulder, right in the middle of another pull-up. The intense face expression that comes with it is hard to read.

"You're gonna yell some more?" she asks, eyes forward again.

Cruz shakes her head, even though Josie can't see her. "No, I'm... I just..." She bites her lips to stop from stammering, then inhales deeply through her nose before trying again. "Can we start over? Like... can we talk?"

Josie lets go of the metal bar and lands on her feet like it's nothing. Like she didn't almost lose her leg three months ago. The thud makes Cruz flinch, while Josie doesn't seem to feel a thing. She turns towards her, which throws Cruz even more off balance. The woman has abs like a Greek statue.

"You hate talking."

"I don't, not anymore," Cruz shrugs awkwardly, "Not with you." She takes a step into the room. "I'm just really shitty at it."

Silently, Josie sits down on the edge of the bed. Cruz steps further into the room, grabs a sweater and—somewhat reluctantly—hands it to Josie to keep her body from cooling down too fast. When Josie takes it from her and puts it on, Cruz knows she'll listen to her - or at least wants to try.

"I don't want you to go on another mission," she starts warily.

Josie rubs her forehead, suddenly looking tired. "You said that already."

"Yeah," Cruz nods, "but I didn't say why. Not really."

When Josie looks up, their eyes meet. "So why?" she asks with hers.

Cruz shrugs again. "I'm scared."

"Right," Josie snorts, "That would be a first!"

Cruz knows that it isn't. That her indifference knows one exception. One exception that nearly broke her, so badly and almost irreparably that she swore never to go there again. Never to get close to anyone again. Boy, did she fail.

"Look," Josie goes on when Cruz stays quiet, "I know it's dangerous, but it will be okay. Joe's got my back."

"No, she doesn't!" Cruz exclaims, making Josie blink by the unexpectedness of it. She quickly calms her tone, forcing herself to keep talking as intended. "She doesn't. Not when it comes down to it. You'll be collateral damage. That's what being a Lioness means."

"Yet you had no problem with it." Josie's reply sounds like a statement, not a question.

"I wouldn't say that," Cruz sighs, "But yes, I went. Because I had nothing to lose." Squatting down in front of her, she rests her hand on Josie's knee. "But now I have."

"Cruz, it's my job."

"No, it's not. Flying helicopters is. You're a pi—"

"What are you asking me?!" Josie cuts her off, "Quit the army? Flying tourists over the Grand Canyon instead?!"

As Cruz drops her shoulders, a small groan escapes her lips. "No, of course not. The army is your life. And mine! I know that. It's just... there are limits. Or there should be. Right? When you've got what we've got..."

"And what's that?" Josie asks, raising her brow, "What do we have, Cruz?"

Cruz falls quiet. She doesn't have the words. She's never been here, never made it this far. How's she supposed to know?!

Gently palming her cheek, Josie makes her look at her again.

"We have started a life together," she helps her out. "Just like that, without even trying. We're not just you and me anymore, somewhere we became us." She moves her hand, tucks Cruz's hair behind her ear. "I think we never intended to, so we're a little unprepared, but here we are after all. And it's not a bad thing. Not at all. It's just new. And—"

"—terrifying?"

"Oh yes," Josie chuckles softly, "terrifying as hell. Especially in our line of duty."

Slowly shaking her head again, Cruz heaves another sigh. "I don't know how Joe's doing it. Or her family. How they handle all this."

Josie slides off the bed, pulling Cruz with her so they end up on the floor together. "Me neither," she admits, taking Cruz's hand into her own, "But if they managed to find a way, than so can we. If we want." She averts her eyes, before quietly adding, "If... if you want?"

Just like their lives, their fingers entwine together as by itself, soft and slowly. "I do," Cruz whispers, her warm breath caressing Josie's face, before inching even closer. As she goes on, her lips��almost graze Josie's damp skin. "I want to figure this out."

Leaning in, Josie can feel Cruz's mouth trail towards hers. "You know what?" She brushes her tongue against Cruz's bottom lip, before teasingly searching for her ear. "I think we already started."

When Josie starts to nip at her earlobe, Cruz can barely form words anymore. "W- We did?"

"We talked, didn't we? Turns out we don't suck so bad," Josie breathes. Without pulling away, she turns Cruz's chin towards her with the lightest touch of her index finger. "That being said..." she grins, right before finally connecting their lips, "I think we should shut up now."

let's do some prompts!

[arsonsara]

Paper Mario: The Twenty-Year Heartache

I'm going to be meeting an old friend soon.

It's been a long time since we last saw each other. I don't know why we haven't talked since then. There's a tightness in my chest every time I think about writing him a letter, my head spins and my thoughts go cloudy every time I think about leaving everything behind so I can visit him, and ache in my throat every time I think about how long it's been.

Sometimes I try and make myself feel better by thinking he feels the same way. Guilty, wishing everything else in the world could go out of focus just so that I...

We...could meet again.

It's a stupid thought. He doesn't have a reason to think about me anymore. He has more important things to do, people rely on him, people look up to him. He can't let those people down. Not for the sake of someone he only met once… I never did get the chance to tell him. I almost did. Everyone else stood beside me, at the end of the pier, as stars glimmered in the night sky and their light reflected back on the ocean's azure waves. It felt right, it felt like everything I could've ever dreamed of...

But...she was there. The only reason he was here was to save her. Ugh, I feel disgusting for even thinking that. He's such a selfless person, so kind, so generous, such a gentle and understanding person. Saying that he was only here just for her feels so...debasing.

But I can't stop thinking about it. How people talk about them, all the history they have, they've known each-other for so long that people can't think of them apart, and when they are, he's always the one to bridge the gap, overcome any obstacle, travel across the entire world...just for her. So all I could muster was a weak whimper, my voice barely above a whisper, before I tore the words from my mouth and just said… "I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple..."

Because all I could think was that she was realer than I ever could be… ...I never did get the chance to tell him. Whenever I spoke of how I looked, people would always assure me I was "A knockout", "Positively radiant"..."a really pretty girl."… Whenever they heard my sisters mock and ridicule me, they must've thought it was just the talk of an old crone and her droll yes-woman, average, wicked villains who only really exists to act cruelly and not...what it actually was behind closed doors. I will admit, it made things easier. I didn't have to explain my existence to them, I didn't give them any reason for them to question what I was, and keeping it a secret meant I didn't have to burden them with...everything it took for me to get to this point. And why should I not want that? For nobody to question why I have such long hair, why I get so giddy when I think about dressing up or putting on lipstick, or...why I would have a girls name. Don't I deserve to be accepted like that so simply? For me to be what makes me happy and have everyone understand without asking? To not have to justify my existence? I absolutely do!...So...

Why does it feel like I'm still trying to justify it to myself? I want to tell him. I so desperately want to tell him. Everything. Every last little thing I've held inside my heart for the past twenty years. I never thought I would ever get this chance again, and it excites me as much as it terrifies me. My soul is giving off sparks that jolt my body to its very core, and it feels like it could paralyze me as much as it could drive me to scream my truth from the top of my lungs so it could echo past the horizon. There's a part of me that's begging me to quell that scream, for me to bury those feelings deeper than I ever have, bury them deeper than what we found come the end, and just pretend like nothings changed. Stay in line, say your lines, and keep everything shut. Nobody can hurt me like that again if they don't know… ...And maybe it's selfish, or some crazy fantasy that rattles around in my head once I'm done tiring myself out with all these worries and fears. But I like to think that...maybe, even if he didn't know back then that… That he knows now. Even without me having to say it. And that once we meet again, under that twilight sky where he first dried my tears, as the moon hangs above and shines its light down on the both of us...

He'll love me just the same as he always did.

Even if I don't have the strength to tell him how much I love him.

---- I wrote this poem in a flash. It struck my brain like a lightning bolt and all I could think about was putting my pen to paper and writing it. It's messy, off the cuff, uncut and genuine. I don't think I could've wrote it any other way, and I kind of love that. Hope you enjoyed it.~

[the-ellia-west]

hio

am bored and procrastinating a bunch of stuff so i decided to drop this random excerpt from one of my wips into your inbox for no reason at all hope you don't mind btw

ps: if u do just ignore this cya~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"...the sky isn't looking its best right now…" as if mirroring my thoughts, shifting my eyes again, they gazed at you.

"...." my words aren't forming anymore, my thoughts aren't churning anymore.

All I can feel is this emptiness around me, chilling and unforgiving 

My eyes alone are what's keeping me from faltering,

Lost in my own mind I kept Gazing at you.

"...you always hated bad weather, didn't you?"  Not that you remember anyway,

"...although if you asked me there's nothing bad about rain or storms,"  despite their darkness they are still beautiful  in my eyes.

"..maybe sometimes misfortune happens through them, but that doesn't mean it's fully theirs to blame,"

It's nobody's fault really, accidents happen all the time, people constantly make mistakes.

They won't  be human if they don't.

They trip and fall, they forget and miss up, they bumble their way in life until they die.

it always has been this way, from aeons past till this day.

People never stopped bumbling their way, whether it's through their life, their work, their hobbies 

Or their relationships, people keep going on with their day bumbling here and there 

Falling down and getting back up, forgetting and remembering, people are just humans after all 

They keep trying throughout all of their bumbling, 

Hoping for a change someday.

Like me finally getting my feet here after all these years!

Yay I guess?

Every time I tried to convince myself to come here I failed, every time my feelings overwhelmed my resolve.

Just thinking of you had me breaking apart, tearing up, screaming and crying…it was all far too painful to bear…so i selfishly ran away, 

"....i missed you, you know…i..these years…without you..they," bumbling my words, I stopped  to try and speak coherently.

Once again I searched for my words carefully and awkwardly.

"...those passing years have been crazy…those years of my life were so long yet so short," 

As if having a mind of its own, my mouth started  talking, pouring my deepest thoughts to the world,

"Everything went by so quickly, so vaguely,...moments I thought would last forever turned into unclear images and memories," 

Somewhere in myself started to hurt,

I don't understand what hurts so much.

"..things I thought would last forever ended far sooner than I was ready for….things I took for granted, people who were always a part of my life, simply vanished,"

I…don't want to understand those tears

"....those years without you had been hard, they were painful and tiresome and ..and…confusing," 

Blurred with tears my eyes can't see you anymore, 

"I…kept going," 

As if you will reply, I reported my small achievements to you.

" I didn't lose to the pain,"

Except when it came to visiting you,

" I didn't  forget you, if you are wondering by the way haha," 

As if I would be able to! you idiot, 

"...I'm slowly getting back on my feet," 

…I'm sorry

“....”

"..it's still painful and sad sometimes…but I'm getting there,"

As slowly as I can, carefully and timidly,

I'm getting there

"...thank you for being a part of my life" closing my blurry eyes I finally said those words.

As if a burden had been lifted off my chest I breathed in relief.

Finally opening my eyes, I looked towards you once again.

"…sorry for taking so long to come and see you,"  

I couldn't bring myself to do it, no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't come here.

Wow...

Idk what to say,

Just... wow...

It's poetic, the dialogue is beautifully written, and it's honestly a little bit chilling.

The ending

MAKES

ME

WANT

MORE

[anatheyma]

(This will be a bit long. Oopsies)

I understand it, believe me, I do. I also have a complicated relationship with religion itself. I do not quite remember if I have told you before but I'm a big catholic. I know you really like the aesthetics of it, though, haha. If I talk about my personal beliefs it will probably be some long ass paragraph, so be aware.

As you probably remember, my mother was a woman that had a lot of issues in her life. She used to get really drunk and cry a lot, sometimes going into my room at night and talking to me in a sweet manner she tried to avoid when she was sober. She used to tell me that I was beautiful; perhaps because I was his son or perhaps because she was really drunk, hm. She said that she thought she would give birth to something demonic, since she was considered a rotten and impure woman, but instead gave birth to something angelic. She also said that God was my only friend and that, if I prayed to him, he would listen to me and respond from the sky.

I remember coming home from school one day, even if I didn't go to class regularly because of my troubles at home, and walking to my mom's room as soon as I entered the house. I was crying and she was laying on top of the bed half naked, still a bit drunk. I also remember the bruise on her cheek when she looked at me and smiled. I told her (well, I yelled instead of speaking) that it was all bullshit and that God was not real. She seemed offended but also surprised as she sat on the bed and tried to speak to me. I told her that the kids at school were bullying me again because they said she was a "hooker" and that my dad was "probably one of the dudes she fucked for money". I remember yelling at the top of my lungs that, if God was real, he would not let this happen to me or to her. If God was real, we would have a nice house and a nice car and I would go to a nice school with nice friends. She wouldn't have problems with alcohol, money or drugs. If God was real he would listen to my prayers and set us free.

She wasn't mad at me. She tried to hug me but I ran to my room and stayed there all day. I didn't eat dinner that evening but it wasn't something new for me. The next day was as usual, we acted like nothing happened and went back to "normal". During the two weeks following that event, my mom seemed more understanding of me and less chaotic; she seemed guilty and I felt as guilty as her. I tried to say sorry a lot of times but it was like that fight was just my imagination.

Two weeks and a half after that incident my mom passed away. We ate a tasty dinner the night before and she asked me to watch a movie with her and I said yes. She forced me to go to school even if I did not want it and she gave me some cheap advice about studying taking me out of that kind of life. When I got home, my mom was not there anymore.

I remember it as something pathetic. I remember being on the floor of the church crying and nobody tried to even approach me. Some of my teachers made a bingo to collect money and payed for my mom's small funeral since they knew I didn't had any family left to do it. I remember looking to the ceiling of the church and seeing him there: God. The paintings on the roof of the cathedral were stunning that morning. Angels with beautiful large wings, precious red flowers and an image of God looking down at us. It was like he was scolding me. And then, when I noticed he was, in fact, scolding me, everything made sense.

It was like he was talking to me. "Isn't this what you wanted, my child? Why are you crying, then?". I thought it was offensive, haha. Like he was not only scolding me but also talking down on me, treating me like I was nothing but a foolish young boy. I remember thinking that I was crying because he was my Father but she was my mother. It is not the same, don't you think?

But at the end of the day, my mom was not lying. He did listen to my prayers. That day when I screamed at her and I cried to God, begging for a better life, he indeed listen to my prayers! I asked him to make us free and he did; my mom was no longer walking this Earth and I no longer had a reason to stay there.

I had a terrible bond with God after that. I felt like he was testing me constantly, treating me like I was a laboratory experiment and nothing else to him. Later in life, maybe around sixteen, I had a lot of issues in my life and noticed that religion was something that could bring me peace, but only if I saw it as something raw. Only if religion was my own raw suffering and my prayers. I found comfort in the saints because a lot of time they were people who suffered just like me, I found comfort in Mary because she made me feel the warm embrace of a mother again and I found comfort in Jesus who was friend of the humans we call sinners. But up to this day, I still don't find comfort in God itself (because it's not a him but a it instead, at least to me). I think I never will, Eddie. I also do not find comfort in preachers or pastors; I absolutely hate them! I don't find comfort on those who are considered "men of God". I think that those people are extremely ignorant and judge way too much. I am literally the biggest faggot ever so of course I can't stand a random man telling me that I will go to hell for the way I am knowing damn well that he has more sins that I do.

I would fuck you wearing my priest clothes though.

–🦴

i'm so sorry you've had to go through so much. seriously, that sounds rough, but i'm glad you've made it through! i can't even begin to imagine what it's like to grow up in circumstances like that, but i do strongly relate to your relationship with religion. i can find comfort in it in certain ways, and i don't have anything against people who believe in jesus since i actually fuck with him lol, it's god itself i don't fuck with specifically and i have similar reasonings. i simply just don't believe the christian god is a good one. it's not a god i want to worship. if it exsists, it's a cruel fucking being, malicious even. it basically rules with fear, i used to be terrified of god and its wrath as a kid, and it made me feel guilty for being the way that i am. that, and the fact that once i learned in opposing religions like satanism, they don't actually worship the devil like extreme christians think, it actually focuses more on treating yourself as your own god and it's all about self-empowerment and treating others with the respect they deserve. i'm not a satanist either, but as a teenager who learned about their beliefs, it immediately felt safer and more accepting than whatever i grew up with. and i know many people who would tell me it's the devil trying to trick me and lead me astray, but yeah lmao. it made me reconsider which side is truly the "good" and which one is the "bad side", because to me the christian god never seemed pure of heart. i just don't see a reason to devote myself to a god that doesn't love me. i don't want to blindly follow something that got some sick entertainment from watching me cry and beg on my knees for the abuse to stop as a kid instead of using its supposedly almighty powers to stop whatever was happening. "god loves all of its children" my ass. but that's enough religious trauma sharing from me haha, i accept that last offer of yours!

[withou-t-me]

November 23rd 2023

The Past

I'm in a room full of people. I feel lonely. My loneliness begins with the first thought of you. Thinking about a future without you. About the past without you. That you are now, but now - used to be extremely short.

And I'm alone in this room and I'm paralyzed with fear of the slightest gesture. I bow my head and stare at the toes of my shoes. I don't want to hide. I just don't want to see. How life passes me by because I spend too much time in my own head.

I think it's a natural adaptation, the body quickly adapted things to survive; my eyes only see you. So I close my eyes tight and tell myself how much I want you to sit next to me. But you never sit close.

You are at the other end of the room.

You talk to all the people I don't see in my world. Your smile is not for me and now it hurts to look at you again. So I'll go home and tell myself that next time I'll talk to you. It's late autumn. Comebacks are getting colder. The leaves have lost their color and all the trees look dead.

It's morning, but it's not dawn. The sky is still the colors of the night and yet I hear the singing of a few birds. It's cold outside, everyone is still asleep at home, I go outside. My hands are wet and uncomfortable around me. I am greeted by emptiness on the street, the last lanterns go out, bells ring from the church. The city looks dead now, the trees covered with a coat of sleeping crows.

I am afraid to destroy this image, so my tears are mute. It's just some warm tears on cold cheeks; hands clenched to the nails digging into the skin and the thought that we would never walk together again. We'll never hold hands again.

There are irreversible things, there are reasons that no one remembers for a long time and words,

the memory of which simply hurts.

The Present

Dearest,

I don't even know how to address you. I don't know anymore. For a moment I felt an unhealthy desire to title you "Nobody" - but why lie to myself again. Right? When last night sleep wasn't a real need again; I counted the time with the disappearance of the candles. One, two, the last one I broke. Careless, reckless - my fingers are burned.

Letters to Nowhere; I'm doing it again, funny. But I'll try to convince you later that it's cathartic. Let the tears flow for now. I'm afraid to try them. What will happen to me when they turn out to be bitter? I don't want to realize how much resentment and hatred I have for the past. Thinking about what was just a pain.

Because we both know it won't come back. Right. Right?

I think you stole all my words by leaving. I'm not that kid anymore who knew everything even when he was fighting with himself. He could describe everything and the reason was always his. I'm so insecure right now that I'm afraid to answer my own questions.

Sometimes something pushes me to naive actions that would only be a harbinger of hysteria. Because I know I'll be disappointed, I know. Even if I sent this and a thousand previous burnt letters - where are you? Should I write your name to all the random addresses I can think of? Send clean envelopes?

But you know, sometimes it hurts so much that I don't see anything absurd about it.

I turn around in the street because I felt you - but there is no trace of you. Only your image I look for among the crowd of strange faces. I feel like crying when I realize my mind has been playing tricks on me again; It hurts inside because I know how much I would give for this to be reality.

Nothing more.

No flashbacks, no magic, no miracles.

Just one more chance, please.

A lot – I practiced a lot not to be a coward; not to talk about irreversible things.

Early March, your funeral is due next Saturday.

Dearest,

Everything I've written so far weighs on me like a curse. I thought I could vomit words, but for the past few nights, only bile has come out of me.

Dearest,

this is not really happening

you are, you are somewhere, you must

please

life refuses to obey me, you know?

I need you,

to make you scream.

I want to feel the fear of losing you again

but I don't want a reality where you're not there.

I no longer have a soul to give away

I'm running away from talking about humanity

I'm waiting for absolution

and you already know it won't come

dearest -

how many more times do i have to pull myself together?

the trains howl and bore into my head with their shrill whine

this is how the world could end

for the best in the future

knowing that one day you have to die

I wasn't even listening to her

I drank your every form of expression obsessively into my sick inside

by words

dense

and thoughts

locked in a bottomless golden cage

but memory turned out to be crueler than I ever planned

Dearest

I hardly remember you anymore.

I'm left with a name you hated

what if i forget that too?

Dearest,

it seems to me that every second letter coming out of me is lined with fear, and yet if someone asks, I can't tell you what fear is.

Dearest,

So many worries about today.

A year ago you did what I usually do, a small gesture, but you were first, you know? I live this suffering. Because it's the last thing I have left. I don't know… no, I'm not happy. But somehow I persist. But I have plans you'd be proud of. But only now do I see all these things. But…but a lot of people around me. But. But. But. But. But.

But I met someone. You would like him.

You would really like him.

And I fight for old relationships and I'm firm. Pretty funny about it. Ridiculously impatient. 'Lovely', right?

Your laughter rings in my ears.

You've been dead for so many months.

I'm sorry I couldn't bear the burden of feeling. I'm doing everything in my power not to let it happen again. I still have a lot of work ahead of me today. I'll see you tonight, okay? I still have so much to tell you.

Dearest,

My letters stop for several years. You are left in the form of notes on the refrigerator and tears pushing to The Smiths songs. You became a few people and I was afraid to talk to you.

I was afraid of truths and single days, letters I forgot.

Now I pretend they're not there when I hold them in my hands. I accept a future that is already my past. After all, I came up with it.

Dearest,

I break up with symbolism. On this one time. I couldn't stand it just once.

This letter is for me, so that I may never think I was as brave as I ever will be.

I have no words for you today.

Dearest,

All the numbers on the clock face look so unpleasant. I'm not cutting off words today either. I am desperately looking for some cohesion, even the ones in the filled lines, one under the other, on a piece of paper - today even that is enough for me. Today I return to the old form of creation and my head hurts. It doesn't seem to fit it anymore. I keep finding myself thinking about you, each one becoming less and less real, and I guess that's why I like them so much. Only they stay with me when the world is getting more and more gray and it's hard for me to see anything from behind the window. I wish I could make poems out of them, but it would only be good for poems that can't be read aloud. Then I would see how ordinary everything I feel about you is and how many movies could tell it better. Again, I'd wonder if I have feelings for you or if I just want to feel because I feel like we could be something beautiful.

Dearest,

There are unanswered questions. Right?

Dearest,

Sometimes I feel like I'm very far away from myself. As if new worlds, collections of galaxies, ever-moving sketches of unknown maps were created between me and the me I remember. I blame it on all the thoughts of you, they've carried me so far that I can't hear anyone screaming "It's time to come back" to me anymore. We are already a fog and we can't bring ourselves to forget about ourselves. you're alive again.

Dearest,

Today is the twenty-third again and it shouldn't be like this.

The Future

I strike my hand against the mercilessly cold marble. It didn't even hurt. I'm exhausted and fall to the grass. I can't look up the tombstone; not yet.

Once again it is late autumn, this time more birds have flown away for the winter. The trees are dead again, and my hands are even colder.

I close my eyes and think about the world.

[hyunverse]

wingman ʚɞ felix

lee felix && reader.

genre — fluff, pining, drabble.

about — you confront felix about his failed dates which you've set up. all hell breaks loose . . . or does it?

note — hi hi! do leave ur feedbacks, i love reading them ₍ᐢᐢ₎ requests open!

felix is tired. the whole day has been nothing but complete shit. as he walks down the hallways of the university, all he could think about is crashing onto his sofa and sleeping until the sky turns black. he’s not even thinking about what to have for lunch, too occupied with the thought of going to sleep.

“idiotic lecturer,” he hisses under his breath, both hands clasped onto the straps of his backpack. he had worked tirelessly on his assignment, only for the pages to be ripped up to pieces by his lecturer.

the hustles and bustles of the building makes felix’ head dizzy. he quietly cusses again upon realizing that he forgot to bring his headphones. being stressed makes you forget a lot of things — felix makes a mental note to calm down.

"lix!" a voice calls out — your sweet, sweet voice.

felix briefly looks back, turning around quickly when he remembers that he's avoiding you. immediately, his steps become faster. you've been blowing up his phone with angry texts from last night, and he knows exactly why.

"lee felix, i know you heard me," you yell, trying your best to catch up with your best friend, "please, stop avoiding me!"

as much as felix wants to curl up and hide from the world, he pauses in his spot at your last words. the blonde simply can't bear to see you plead. a deep breath is taken before he turns around to face you.

"i don't get it, lix. this is the third time i've set you up with my friend and you ghost them."

you're visibly frustrated — he hates that.

"the date was kind of boring y/n," he mutters, looking at everywhere but him, "i don't think we clicked that well."

a sigh slips past your lips, "did you even try?"

"i did!" he defends.

brown eyes glance around the area to ensure nobody's nearby. only artworks stare back at felix.

"i always try to like the people you set me up with," felix adds, "but i just can't. maybe you should stop setting me up with people."

"i just want you to go out and socialize lix. that's all. you barely go out, for god's sake. sometimes it feels like you yell at your computer more than you talk to people."

ouch.

his eyebrows furrow, face screaming disbelief. you've never said anything of the sorts to him, always so caring. so gentle.

"you're not in charge of my social life, y/nnie."

"but i'm your best friend! i just want to know why you keep on ditching my friends."

his lips part to talk, yet nothing but heavy exhales slip out. the tip of his tongue grazes his lower lip to wet them. at the meantime, your eyes bore holes into his pale skin, constantly pushing for him to answer. the pressure and the sounds of the airconditioner compressors intensify, boiling felix' blood.

"why, lix?"

"because i'm in love with you, okay?"

"what?"

the moment felix realizes what he had just said, his breath hitches. suddenly everything is silent — no sounds, just pure fear. fear of you turning away and abandoning him, fear of not being friends anymore, fear of —

"felix?" you mutter again, "do you mean that?"

his rings decorated fingers scratch the back of his neck, the other hand busy checking his pulse.

"lix?"

"i mean it, really."

"oh," is all that you manage to say.

just oh? felix could feel his saliva getting thicker, and that feeling in his stomach sinking even deeper.

"yeah. . ." he mumbles, and for the first time in forever, awkwardness surround the two of you.

"well," you breathe out, "i like you too, actually. . . been setting you up with all these people to try and. . .you know, get over you. felt like you didn't like me and if you had a partner, it wouldn't be as hard to get over you because i'd feel like i have no choice but to do so."

"huh?"

it's your turn to turn embarassed. you could feel your whole body heat up.

"yeah. . ."

"all this while, you've been setting me up because you didn't think you had a chance?" felix utters in disbelief, eyebrows raised, "i've been in love with you since forever."

the words sends you spiralling, cheeks turning red. a whirlpool of emotions overcome you — happiness, disbelief, stupid — name it. you're possibly feeling every emotion available except grief.

"i feel so stupid, lix" you can't help but smile; he thinks it's adorable.

felix bites the inside of his cheeks and the grip he had on his bagpack straps tightens, "you've been setting me up on dates for months now, how about i set you up on one this time? a date with me, at the park tomorrow?"

you swear you've never felt this giddy before.

"of course, lix. i've been waiting for this since forever."

[whysojiminimnida]

It saddens me to see Jikook supporter and translator accounts bullied off SM platforms. I fully respect people doing what is right for their mental health if they find the pressure gets to be too much. I just hate to see the trolls win and wonder whether you, as a grown adult who has demonstrated the ability to delete toxic comments and tell off the crazies when necessary, have some tips you can share to help others be strong.

Hi anon, I dunno if I'm the best advice rabbit, but I'll just share anyway because, well, you're here, so. And I have seen a few "goodbye social media" posts lately. I have seen many, many posts like that over my *coughdecadescough* years online.

Listen, kids, it's a rule of the internet. If you're gonna leave, LEAVE. This whole idea of "my mental health is suffering because I cannot disengage the entertainment part of my brain from my actual real social life and I need you all to understand that" is, at best, unhealthy. It smacks of attention-seeking and an inability to be proactive without constant external feedback. A short explanation is fine if you're a large account, but...

...nobody needs to read pages of drama about how you simply cannot anymore. If you can't, don't. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME EPHEMERAL IDEA OF ONLINE REACH. Say that again if necessary. Into the mirror. Out loud. "Go outside and touch some grass" is actually a very good strategy for dealing with online stressors.

This is not to give people a rough time or to minimize someone's hurt feelings or pain, at all. I'm just gonna tell you how it WAS, and then how it IS:

In the early years of the interwebz, the place of AOL and Myspace and Blogspot and (gasp) the /b/ board at 4chan, we called ourselves "fags" and new people were "cancer". If you wrote a whole "goodbye cruel internet" post it was likely to get you doxxed, published, and a crisis team called to your house. YOU THINK I AM JOKING, I AM NOT JOKING. We didn't do anything if it wasn't behind seven proxies and jokes about everything were on the table. It was the Wild West, much more than the gatekeeping and "we don't assume X about Y" that we see in 2022. And to be honest people did harm themselves over it then just like they do now. Difference is, excepting a few white knights, most people figured that was a you problem. The 90s and early 00s were not a sensitive time. If you couldn't hang you were teased mercilessly and then forgotten, to be replaced with another kid whose mother would get a call at work from a random stranger in Ohio, telling her that her kid was at home looking at gay dolphin porn and needed an adult.

My advice for not letting trolls win? DON'T LET THE FUCKING TROLLS WIN. Seriously, that's it. It's not that hard. But let me break it down for you:

1. TURN IT OFF. Leave your phone (gasp) on the charger, kill your laptop, and GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE.

2. LEAVE IT OFF UNTIL YOU GAIN SOME PERSPECTIVE OR FEEL BETTER. Seriously, entire generations of people grew up without a phone attached to their hand. Some of us had CORDS on ours and they were located IN THE HOUSE and we had to SHARE THEM. You will not die if you unplug for ten minutes. My god I sound like my father DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE TURNING ME INTO

3. LITERALLY GO OUTSIDE. For something other than school or work. If you have not seen the daytime sky in awhile now is a great time for that. Or the nighttime sky. Get on a roof DON'T JUMP and fucking BREATHE AIR. Your body probably needs the quiet time. 4. TALK TO A HUMAN FACE TO FACE. Who does not live in your house. It can be a store clerk (BE NICE) or a bus driver or your elderly neighbor. Doesn't have to be long, just "Hello" or "You look nice today" or something that isn't "screaming shaking crying please come home Jimin".

And this sounds really extreme BECAUSE IT IS: IF YOU NEED TO SAVE YOUR SANITY AND IT IS THAT SERIOUS, LEAVE THE FANDOM FOR AWHILE. I mean it. I unplug this monster about once a week for a couple of days just to experience life and nurture actual relationships with real people who are not behind a screen. But if you are finding yourself unable to disengage, you may want to, I dunno, TAKE A DANCE CLASS or JOIN A STAMP COLLECTING CLUB or GO GET A HICKEY, whatever works for you. Smile at someone. Look them in the eye. Remind yourself that you are human and often, what you are perceiving is what is being fed to you from behind a screen. We do not live in an alternate universe storyline. Cook actual food. Clean your space. Listen to NON-BTS MUSIC FOR FIVE MINUTES. Volunteer at a nursing home or assisted living facility or your city's animal shelter, if you can. TAKE A WALK. And above all, remember that BTS are ENTERTAINERS. That means they are here to ENTERTAIN US. If you are not having a good time it is time to step out of the vehicle and catch it on the next round.

I love you all. I'm sorry if I sounded like your dad or my dad. Please stay safe out there. And if you need a break I'll be here when you get back. OKAY?!?! OKAY!!! (/jungkoo)

[antonhousehold]

so let's love

summary: sometimes, katsuki let his insecurities get the best of him. and sometimes, you get hurt because of that.

song: so let's love - day6 (click the song, its totally worth it!)

warning: angst. bakugou being toxic. reader is touch starved. yelling and cursing. insecurities. reader is in love with bakugou but he's afraid!! no fluff end!

reader: gn!neutral (or i tried to be neutral!)

note: this is my first time writing angst, so im sorry if is shitty. also, i would like to let know that english is not my first language, so im sorry if i messed up with the grammar and stuff like that!

loving bakugou was kinda... hard.

sometimes he's sweet in his own way. you remember the times when you fell asleep in his arms. the way his heart almost ran away from his chest. the warmth of his body against yours. it was simply beautiful.

he was beautiful.

everything started when you met him in that street. the sky was pouring and some thunders were lightning up the clouds. the city was dark and the stars were the only ones in the scene. he was smoking a cigarette and the smell of the tabaco and the rain was a very unique fragrance to you. you tried to cover him from the rain with your umbrella. gladly, he didn't stop you.

«have I seen you before?» you asked. those vermillion eyes were as deep as the ocean.

«i think so, [name]»

you remember the first time he asked you out in a date. it was simple but nice. just like him.

you remember the times when you were with with him in highschool. the way his words were harsh towards everyone. you thought he overcome that.

«i told you before, dumbass. i can't stand when you touch me like that in public! it makes me look fucking weak!»

we sometimes fight, and get hurt by each other's sharp words

«i didn't even hug you! i just leaned on your body. i can't help it, I'm your partner!»

«my partner would fucking understand and respect my boundaries! or are you too dumb to actually get it?! »

and you tried to be understanding about him. you tried to give him the space he need it. you stopped showing affection towards him in public. it was kinda hard, but if this was the best way to keep him happy and comfortable, you were completely down for it.

then, in your shared apartment, he started to accept your love. you believed in the soft kisses, the hugs, and the fuzzy feeling of his words in your heart. You wanted to believe in the memories of happiness and beautiful moments that you locked in your mind. the promises and the not so often sweet words. it made you feel special. he always made you feel special, or that's what you wanted to believe.

i can't possibly erase all the wounds you left in me

everything was going on very well, at least at the beginning. until those ethereal moments started to get serious. katsuki realized how much in love he was with you. how his heart almost ran away from his chest every time you looked at him.

it was overwhelming.

so he started panicking. you were just too good to be with him. he didn't feel worthy of your love. why would you even love someone like him?

i'm too afraid that you might leave me

«hey katsu, wanna shower together? i thought it was a good idea since both of us are exhausted»

«shower first. i'm not joining»

sometimes, he just didn't even consider your dates or plans with him. every time was the same. 'i have stuff to do, maybe tomorrow', 'i need to study for this test, i'm not gonna throw my career just for you'

you just wanted a little bit of his love.

you know me, please hold my unstable heart

«can you stop looking me like that? it's giving me goosebumps»

«i'm sorry»

it was hard to him as well. every time he saw your disappointed face and the teary eyes of you, his heart sinks. he didn't want to hurt you, but the feeling of loving you were scarier than hurting your feelings.

saying harsh words was so much easier than accepting the fact that he was feeling vulnerable when you were with him.

«i'm not gonna go to that shitty party. go by yourself»

«it's going to be so much fun! come on, grandpa!» you tried to play it cool. you just wanted a little of him.

«are you deaf? im not fucking going. i have stuff way more important than getting drunk with you»

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

«why the fuck are you so clingy around him?!! do you like him or what?!» he asked once you walked through the door.

«what? what are you talking about?»

«don't play dumb with me. answer the fucking question!»

«i don't even know what are you talking about?!» his eyes were staring at you so furiously, that you even felt the goosebumps in your skin. bakugou always looked scary when he was this mad.

«i'm talking about that shitty extra!» he pulled out his phone and let you see the bright photos of the party night that was all over his social media.

even one word, i need to say it carefully. even this sentence with a trembling heart..

in fact, you were with that green haired boy, hugging him and smiling so softly that bakugou wanted to throw up. it was totally disgusting. 'how can they be so lovey dovey with that piece of shit and bitching all the time with me?'

«why are so mad about it? you hate when i touch you or kiss you, then why are you so obsessed when i show affection towards someone else?!» this whole situation was getting on your nerves. it was hard to keep a conversation about this with him, because he'd always yell the same thing about you.

«because you're my fucking partner!! i didn't expect you to be such a whore just for a damn hug!»

his words got stuck in your head as he started walking near you, just to look at your eyes with those deep vermillion eyes. for a moment, you thought he wanted to cried, but his screams blinded his emotions.

his scent stills reminds you fo cigarettes and rainy days. thunders and fire. it was hard to keep all those emotions in your chest.

i thought we were still fine, but i was wrong

«what the fuck is wrong with you, bakugou?!! you don't want me to even look at you but you get jealous when i have a good time with my friends. what the fuck do you want from me??!» you tried to fight the urge of crying. your eyes were begging to let them cry, but the knot in your throat was suffocating you at this point.

«i want you to fucking LEAVE! i'm so done with this shit. i can't stand you anymore. i don't want your shitty 'affection'» he yelled. you jump in your place of how unexpected his words came out. «i don't think i ever loved you! you're so fucking annoying with the same shit. 'please katsuki, love me please' so damn annoying. you wanna know what?! nobody wants your fucking affection, not even me, get over it!!»

we were shaking as much as we could. we were getting that cold

the words he said, the way he screamed, everything felt so out of him.

you felt your hot tears walking down your face so painfully. even felt your blood run cold against your skin. there's no way he was your boyfriend. katsuki was a jerk, totally, but he would never hurt you like that. he's not your katsuki. something happened to him.

you tried so hard to believe that he didn't mean those things. you thought it was just another fight, that tomorrow everything will be normal again. nothing changed, it wasn't real.

«i-i know you didn't mean it»

«i did. fucking leave. take your shit out of here soon»

i'm incomplete. i'm only complete with you

you know me so please, hold my unstable heart

«this is my apartment too»

«then i'll leave! throw all my stuff. enjoy your apartment, you can be free again»

he walked to the door with his phone and wallet, leaving the place with a heavy silent. you stared at the door, expecting to see him trying to apologize, but that didn't happen. you even imagined everything was a really mean joke, that he didn't mean something like that. you can't lie of loving someone for almost six months.

you tried so hard to keep him happy. you tried everything, but at the end, he didn't even love you as much as you did. all your wishes were just a pure thought of hope. it wasn't real. you just wanted a little of his love.

a last kiss.

a last hug.

a last minute of his life.

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

so let's love more in the future

[knaite-solo]

Dangerous - Zuko x Reader

Summary: When you don't leave your tent, Zuko gets worried and decides to do something about it. 

Pairing: Zuko x Waterbender!Reader

Genre: Fluff with some comedy

Warnings: Swearing and period stuff

Word count: 2856

That day, you didn't leave your tent.

Zuko was very attentive, but it didn't take much effort to realize that there was something wrong with you. It was unusual for you to avoid talking with the rest of the group. You always liked to interact with others and help even in the smallest tasks.

So when the hours went by, and you didn't leave, he started to get really concerned. The prince began to walk to your tent until he sensed a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to see who it was, he found Sokka staring at him very seriously. So serious that it didn't suit his goofy character.

"Don't go in there." He said in a warning tone.

"What? Why?" Zuko asked with a confused expression.

"Just don't." Sokka looked around as if he was seeking for a hidden enemy and then whispered. "It's dangerous. Trust me, man."

Zuko decided not to enter your tent, at least not at that moment. Sokka's warning had left him confused. What could be so dangerous about you? He decided to gather more information. Maybe Toph or Aang could help.

                                          ☆

"So, what do you think?" Zuko asked Toph, who was lying on a stone while playing with her space rock.

"Probably some silly stuff." The earthbender said while changing her rock to numerous shapes.

"But Sokka said it was dangerous. Maybe she is ill or something." The prince tried to think about other possibilities. Toph just looked extremely tired of the conversation.

"Well, I tried to talk to her earlier in the morning..."

"And?"

"She cursed me for opening the tent and let light enter her eyes." Toph blew a few strands of hair in an annoyed attitude. "Sokka usually says dumb things, so I never thought I would agree with him on something. But he's right."

She stopped playing with her space rock and transformed it back in a bracelet, putting it in her arm.

"I don't know what happened, but I don't give a shit anyway."

Zuko just listened to Toph and tried to imagine you cursing her for just trying to talking with you, and he just couldn't. You were such good friends with everybody, especially Toph since she wasn't into girly things, neither were you. Both of you were so close that once he found out you two playing in the mud. Toph throwing mud at you with her earthbending and you with your waterbending. You just were Toph's best friend. Why would you treat her so badly out of nowhere?

"Thanks for the information, I think..." The prince said indecisively. He didn't know what to say since he noticed that Toph was lying about not caring about your mood change.

"It's was a pleasure talking to you, Sparky. Sadly I can't say the same about Y/n."

                                            ☆

"Are you sure she did that?" Aang was brushing Appa's fur while listening to Zuko talk about your weird attitude with Toph.

"Yes. And Toph was really mad. More than usual." The prince couldn't forget the eartbender's expressions as she talked about you. It was a mix of anger and deception.

"Maybe Y/n ate something bad?"

"But Sokka said that it was dangerous to go in her tent. I don't think it's food poisoning." Zuko also couldn't forget Sokka's serious expression. If it were in another context, it would be hilarious.

"Sokka and Katara had a strange fever not long ago." The airbender finally finished brushing Appa. The sky bison looked joyful. "They said strange things and couldn't do anything alone. Maybe it could be it."

"And how the fever stopped?"

"Well..." Aang let out a nervous chuckle. "They had to suck some frozen frogs."

"FROZEN WHAT-'' Zuko's eyes widened.

"MAYBE SHE ISN'T SICK, I DON'T KNOW!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND FROZEN FROGS HERE?" Zuko was already thinking about the worst.

"HOLY SHIT! CAN'T YOU ASSHOLES STOP SCREAMING? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!" Toph appeared out of nowhere while complaining and covering her ears.

"Why you guys keep using these bad words in front of Appa and Momo?" Aang asked in a withered tone. "They're innocent creatures..."

                                           ☆

Zuko was hopeless. Nobody seemed to be able to explain what was wrong with you and the list of people he could ask was almost over. There was only one person left.

"Katara." He called but she didn't seem to hear.

The waterbender was kneeling on the edger of a river while washing some clothes and sheets. She would submerge the fabrics in the water, rub them, and then dry them with her waterbending. Being a waterbending master had its advantages. She always used her bending in everyday activities, making things a thousand times easier. It was impossible not to look at her and not to be amazed at how easily she connected with the water and managed to manipulate it.

But then Zuko noticed that one of the sheets was different from the others. It had a red stain on it.

"Is this blood?"

Katara almost jumped after hearing that question. Because she was distracted, she hadn't noticed when the prince had approached much less he had called her and now she had been caught with that incriminating sheet in hand. And not any incriminating sheet, it was your incriminating sheet.

"B-Blood? I don't know what you're talking about!" Katara quickly hid the sheet behind her.

Zuko tried not to roll his eyes. He might be trying to become a better person, but that didn't mean he would accept to be made a fool of.

"I can still see the sheet behind you." He just said in a bored tone.

Katara blushed. She hated to lie but she hated to be caught in the lie the most.

"Sorry." She stopped trying to hide the cloth. "I didn't want you to see that."

"Why not?" Zuko looked again at the red stain. Now he was absolutely sure it was blood.

"It's kinda embarrassing to explain..." She returned to clean the sheet, focused on making the red stain disappear.

"I won't judge, I promise." Zuko reassured.

"It's a woman thing. Usually, we don't want people to notice when we are on our period, you know?"

"Oh."

As the stain started to dissolve and vanish in the river's stream, Zuko's mind clicked. Your period. Of course! How could he be so dumb? He felt his face starting to redden.

"So, Y/n is..."

"Yes, that's why I'm washing this." She lifted the sheet that now was wet. "But even if we try to be careful, accidents do happen. "And with a simple movement, she removed the water from the sheet, drying it in the process.

"Accidents, right." Zuko just pretended to agree. He understood generally what being on period meant, but that was all he knew. Part of him was never really interested in knowing more about it, but another part never had access to it, since the subject was considered taboo by most part of women. "I suppose it's impossible to be careful enough."

Katara immediately noticed how he didn't seem to know much of what they were talking about and a playful smile quickly appeared on her lips.

"You know you're not fooling anyone, are you?"

"What do you-"

"Zuko, it's okay to not know about things." The waterbender assured him. Her smile wasn't playful anymore. It switched to a tender one.

"I-I-" The prince started to blush again. He really wanted to understand more about theses "girly things" and how he could make you feel better but it was just so difficult to ask. "I don't-"

"Don't worry. I won't tease you." Katara started to get up with the basket of clean clothes in hand.

Zuko looked away, focusing on the camp before answering. The prince imagined you trapped in that tent, acting in that moody way for a reason you couldn't control. He really wanted to help you, and if that meant he had to go over all his shame and male pride, he would.

"Fine. " He answered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't tell Sokka."

"Why would I-"

"Don't tell Toph either."

"But why-"

"Actually, don't tell anyone."

                                          ☆

Today your period was getting the best of you. Your mood was shit. You had been turning over all night because of hellish cramps so it was expected that you wanted to sleep until later. But then when Toph, who was unaware of your situation, tried to talk to you, you were extremely rude to her. Actually, even if you tried to tell Toph that you were on your period, she wouldn't understand since she hadn't had her first yet, but you still had no right to curse her just for saying hi.

As if it were a punishment from the universe, you realized that you had stained one of the sheets that you had used that night. Furthermore, your horrible cramps had returned. Thankfully Katara came to your rescue, helping you a little with the pain and offering to wash the tragic sheet.

Now, after all the events, you didn't quite know what you wanted to do. Sure, you wanted to apologize to Toph, but you were afraid of what to do if your mood changed again.  Your body was limp, your breasts were swollen and your back hurt a lot. Everything told you not to get up. So, that's what you did.

You were almost asleep again when you felt someone entering the tent. Thinking it was Toph, you automatically sat down and started to apologize.

"I know that nothing I say will change what I did, but I really-" You stopped talking when you noticed it wasn't your best friend that was in front of you, it was the guy that you liked. "Zuko?"

"Sorry for entering without asking." He said with an apologetic look. "Can I stay here?"

"I would love you to stay but... " You really wanted his presence there, but you were afraid to be rude to him too. And he was the last person you wanted to make a bad impression on. " I'm not very well today."

"I know."

"You... know?" You asked in a slightly nervous way, but you tried to disguise it.

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as nervous as you were. "But I don't mind."

You seemed to be even more nervous than before. Being alone with him always made you unquiet, but imagining that he might know about your period made you want to bury your face in the ground and disappear. You knew it was normal to menstruate and it was stupid to perpetuate the idea that guys shouldn't know when you were or weren't on your period, but the thought of talking about it with him scared you.

You tried to say a few things, but the words died in your throat. The fear that the guy you liked so much thought you were disgusting made you so apprehensive that you didn't even know what to say.

He noticed your apprehension almost immediately.

"I-I bought you something!" Zuko started looking for something inside a small bag he had with him and it was the first time that you had noticed its existence.

When the prince finally found what you were looking for, you realized it was a very poorly wrapped up packet.

"You didn't need to-"

"It's chocolate. Katara said it could help." He handed the packet to you without looking you in the eye.

As you started to open it, you saw different bars of chocolate. One of white chocolate, one of dark chocolate, one with chestnuts and one with an extremely reddish color. Some of them were a little broken and melted, but most of them were fine.

"I didn't know which flavor you like the most, so I bought one of each." You felt your ears burn just by imagining him buying all that for you.

"Where did you-"

"I borrowed Appa to go to the nearest market." He answered. "But they ended up getting kind of..." You tried not to laugh at his frustrated face.

Your shame was gradually going away. He didn't think you were disgusting because you were on your period. In fact, he was worried to the point of taking a mini trip and buying sweets for you. And he even tried to wrap them up, though he clearly failed. Imagining him doing all that for you made your heart warmer to the point of making you cry. Your mood change was taking the best out of you again.

Zuko's eyes widened as soon as he noticed your tears.

"I-I'm sorry! I-" He started to get up. "I'll leave you alone!''

You quickly held him by the wrist while letting out a laugh. Your tears salted your mouth as you giggled, but you didn't care. Meanwhile, Zuko was staring at you with an extremely confused expression.

"I'm happy, you dork."

"But why are you crying?" He looked so worried that you almost felt guilty for laughing at him.

"Period things. I'm fine, really." You said while whipping your tears away. "Now sit here with me. I'm curious about this red one."

Zuko sighed with relief and sat next to you with his legs crossed. You stopped holding his wrist, being surprised at how brave you were to do something like this. You were the kind of person who got embarrassed just by touching him in the shoulder. Even when training with him, you would get disconcerted by the smallest things.

"It's a Fire Nation traditional chocolate." He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. "I thought you might want to try it."

You took the bizarrely red piece from his hand and tried not to sweat.

"I hope this isn't too spicy." But when you ate the piece, your fear came true. "ZUKO!"

"WHAT!" He practically jumped.

"WATER!" You screamed as you felt your tongue burning.

The prince started turning over all the sheets until he finally found a canteen lost in a corner of the tent. You didn't even wait for him to deliver it to you. You took the canteen from his hands and drank the water until you felt the burning sensation cease.

When you finally managed to stabilize your breathing after drinking so much water, you faced him. Zuko was sweating bullets.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked worriedly.

"It was an outstanding experience." You replied with a grin. "But I prefer not to try it again."

"Yeah, I won't buy this one for you the next time."

"Next time?" You couldn't ignore his statement. What did he mean by next time?

"Ah..."

Zuko started to blush again. Every time he started talking about things he had done for you or how he wanted to be with you, his face turned red, almost like a tomato. However, you couldn't hear his answer since your cramps have returned, making you lean forward and hold your belly.

"Hey, are you-"

"Cramps. Awful ones." You replied, still holding your belly. Your cramps were rougher than usual, so you laid down. "Sorry for ruining the mood."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. "

You were unable to agree or disagree with him. Your pain was so intense that you couldn't focus on anything. The guy of your dreams was on your side and you couldn't even look at him.

Suddenly, you felt something hot thing land on your belly. It was hot, but not enough to hurt you. It was cozy and made your pain lower little by little. You only came to understand what it was when the heat moved and you recognized the shape of a hand, a male hand.

"Katara said that heat can help with the pain." Zuko said as he slid his hand over your belly. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes." A pleased expression appeared in your face. "It feels nice."

"Good. I've never done this before." He stated.

"What about Mai?" You asked curiously, trying to not sound jealous. He was being so supportive that you couldn't help but imagine him trying to please his ex-girlfriend in every single way.

"Mai hardly commented on how she felt. Even when she was more... Er... Sensitive- "Zuko cleared his throat. "She was no different. It's not like I never wanted to help, but she never allowed me to be close enough.

"I see." You imagined him trying to get closer and Mai pushing him away. You felt sad for him. "Well, I feel happy for being the first one." Shyly, you put your hand over his. "I'll give you a lot of work to make up for it."

A smile lit up his face. His smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was becoming more common as he spent more time with you and the rest of the Gaang.

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" He replied provocatively.

"Women in their period can be the most dangerous thing, you know."

"Yeah, Sokka said so."

"Sokka what?"

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @dekahg @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl

People who were interested but I don’t if I could tag them: @unfortunateshelby @little-wankenobi @theblueslytherin @creepytoes88​ @http-peter-parker​

I don’t think this was my best work since I don’t feel really secure with portraying Zuko as a boyfriend yet. I’m not really sure about how he expresses love since he had so many problematic relationships and I don’t think he would be the perfect guy who would know everything about dating and stuff. I also don’t think he would say his feelings out loud. He looks more practical to me but not too practical. To me, he’s probably shy with this stuff. 

Please, give me feedback if I portraited him well as a boyfriend even if he wasn’t your boyfriend in this imagine.

English isn’t my native language so it might have mistakes.

I needed to write this since my period is still killing me.

[elles-writing]

Dragon Heart - IV.

Taglist: @guardianofrivendell @anjhope1 @legolasoftherings @kumqu4t @grunid @elvish-sky @artsywaterlily @alexloveskili

If you want to be added to tag list, send me a message or comment please.

Warnings/triggers: -

She looked over at Bilbo, who was stirring, and decided it would be a good idea to prepare him a cup of warm tea with some honey and milk. Y/N remembered Bilbo loved this as a child.

So, her next steps took her to the hobbit's kitchen.

Before she stepped inside, Y/N noticed one - perhaps from the older ones - dwarf, who prepared a steaming cup of tea already.

The dwarf didn't seemed to trust her - of course - but his eyes little softened, because she knew Gandalf and Bilbo.

"What tea is that?" Y/N asked instead, genuiely interested.

"Charmomile, for Master Baggins." Y/N hummed and the dwarf quickly left the little hobbit kitchen. You looked around, more concentrated this time. Then, you looked over the hall, pantry, and living room, where was Bilbo, Gandalf and some of the dwarves.

Baggins', now Bilbo's house, has never been un-practical. Maybe for Y/N by it's size, but other than that, there was everything one would need for life.

When Bilbo catched her eyes, Y/N could clearly see he was uncomfortable, upset and absolutely, absolutely done with the subject.

The dwarves.

But most importantly...

Gandalf.

You shrugged, and decided to leave him his burglar-not-burglar game. Bilbo would not be patient forever, but he was mannered and clever enough to know what to do. You were sure the hobbit would feel his Took side with desire for an adventure again.

And take his chance to escape Sackville-Baginses.

As you walked around, you noticed some of the pictures. They seemed to be new - or at least you didn't remembered them.

You walked closer, and stepped on something. You looked down, and noticed it was a dagger. You've never seen the design before, but assumed it must be one of the dwarves'. You picked it up and studied it, when you overheard a voice next to you.

"Careful with this, it's been just sharpened." You turned to see a blonde, blue-eyed dwarf, with braided moustache. He seemed to have the same twinkle in his eyes as Kili.

"I can handle sharp things," Y/N said and looked back at the knife.

"It's nice. Not too light, but not as heavy either." Y/N was thinking aloud. She completely forgot the dwarf next to her, as she studied the dagger.

"You know Master Baggins," He suddenly said. Y/N turned to him.

What the-did he just-

"I do," You nodded, and placed the dagger to his hand.

What the-no, he just didn't-

"You don't look like you are related," he continued.

"That's because we aren't." You ended the topic. Instead, it was your time to ask.

"Who are you?"

"Fili, at your service m'lady," he gently took your hand and kissed the back of your hand, his eyes not leaving yours.

"Y/N, at yours...Fili," You said.

"Oh, Y/N, can I-can I talk to you, for a second?" Bilbo came and you gladly walked aside with him, while Fili send you a wink.

"Bilbo, to answer some of your questions - no, I didn't knew-"

"I'm not talking about the, the dwarves," Bilbo looked over the room with frown on his face.

"Then what is it, my little friend?" You said quietly in attempt to brighten up the situation. Bilbo was almost adorable with frowned pouty face, hands folded on his chest, patting the floor with his foot...only if you could stand straight in his house. Your back thought the size of his house was not adorable at all.

"Well, um...did Gandalf told you to bring them along?" You looked at him with scrunched face, and rolled your eyes.

"I wouldn't be coming if I knew there were dwarves involved. So, if anything, I share your unpopular opinion." And ruffled his hair. He jumped up.

"I'm not a little hobbit anymore, you don't have to do this," Bilbo said through gritted teeth, and you grinned.

"Well, you still are kind of little," You teased him futher, until a dwarf with sharp blue eyes, long, dark hair, and the biggest grumpy and pouty face you've ever seen (not even Bilbo could do that, when he was angy little hobbit).

That dwarf shot you a glare, and also to Bilbo, who was taken aside by him and Gandalf, again.

You felt sorry for Bilbo.

When he was free, you overheard him muttering something about 'surely not going', 'not going anywhere', 'wizards', and so on. You decided to go to sleep, because all of the dwarves were asleep already, and you needed to be up early.

You woken up quickly. The first thing you've heard was the snoring. You scrunched your face, and quickly packed your things. Then, you walked out of Bag End, and decided to wait for them there.

The sunrise was nice time, especially to prepare your horse for the day.

"Shh," you cooed her quietly. It was beautiful mare, tall, and very, very clever.

"It will be okay. We will find dad, and we will go away, to live far away...everything is going to be just fine," You muttered.

"You ready?" Kili stood next to you with a grin on his face. You jumped up a little.

"I am." You said, and noticed Kili's expression as he looked at your horse. You let out a laugh.

"You've never seen a horse before?" Kili walked back a little.

"Not really," he said and you noticed his blushed cheeks.

"Kili!" You both looked over to Fili, standing between two ponies, who called him.

-

"Do you think Bilbo will come?" Kili asked you.

"That hobbit won't show up," Balin said. He was on his pony next to Kili, so he thought he talked to him.

"It's no surprise. Why would Master Baggins leave his home," Thorin (as was the grumpy dwarf named) said.

"I wouldn't understimate hobbits, and especially not Master Baggins," Gandalf said as he smoked his pipe.

"I am sure he is going to come," He said.

And that's when the bet started.

-

It wasn't even five minutes after you left Shire, when you overheard Bilbo's voice in the distance.

"Waaait!"

You looked over to Gandalf, who was hiding a laugh.

"You planned this?" You quietly asked and motioned to the hobbit, who was breathing heavily.

"Well, perhaps," he said, and you scoffed a little and shook your head, as the dwarves seated Bilbo on his pony.

-

The day was beautiful. It was actually quite warm, just warm so you could put down your cloak.

As the evening was approaching, and the sun was setting into palette of gold and velvet, and the sky was getting darker, Thorin decided it was time to set up camp. After a quick argument with Gandalf, the wizard left to seek company of himself. So, there was nothing easier, than to just finding the best place to place your bedroll.

You, Fili and Kili were on first watch. You laid down on your bedroll, and watched the stars. It was cloudless night, plus the crackling sound of fire, and smell of fresh night air was relaxing.

Bilbo was just coming back from his pony, when a sound in distance made him freeze.

"W-what was that?" He pointed to the distance, while looking at Kili.

"Orcs," he said in low, deep voice. You sat up. Bilbo had a part of Took in himself, but he was not that much of a Took.

"There is going to be plenty of those," Fili said, and, obviously, Kili continued.

"They come at night, no screams, just lots of blood," He looked at Bilbo, and the shadows in his face, along with his deep and low voice made it come out horribly scary. Him and Fili started chuckling, but you sighed.

"The way you two snore would make them run for hills, so I wouldn't be that worried," You said, and noticed Bilbo to relax by the corner of your eye.

Kili looked over at you. You pulled out book from your pack. He quickly recognized it, even in the darkness of the night. It was that book you flipped through back in Bag End.

You sat comfortably down, and looked over the illustrations on the pages, and softly touched them.

"What is the book you are reading about, lassie?" Balin asked. You didn't looked up.

"It's a book with tales and stories my...father wrote down," you answered.

"He used to read them to me," you shrugged.

"Would you read some of them-ow, what was that for?!" Kili whisper-yelled at his brother, who chuckled.

"You're a child, Kee," He muttered to himself, and Kili pouted. But Fili was curious as well, which Kili didn't needed to know.

"Well...this one," You flipped a few pages futher.

"This one is called Strange thief and the stars," Y/N comfortably sat and started reading.

"There was once a man. He wasn't very known by name, but by his eyes. His eyes, deep and dark, with sparkles, reminding of stars. Nobody has ever seen eyes like this before, and people were whispering he has stars themselves in his eyes," You slid the tips of your fingers over the drawing, remembering the precision your father has made into repairing them.

"Many women tried to grab his attention, but anytime they didn't sucsceeded, the sparks in their eyes were less visible, but in his as well. And that is why men has decided to call him 'the thief of stars', or a 'strange thief of stars'. He was wandering through the lands, until he found what, as he realized, was looking for,"

"What happened next?" Bilbo asked.

"That girl didn't want to talk to him. She was very kind and caring, but not naive. One day, however, she found a dragon. Big dragon, who seemed scary, but saved her from orcs. The beast's eyes reminded her of someone, yet she didn't knew of whom." You realized everyone was quiet, listening to you, as you spoken.

"The next day, she met the man. He runned into her, in a rush, in a fear - and asked her "Did you see the dragon too?". The young maiden nodded, and helped him to get to safety, as he was very nervous and scared. Since that day, they became closer and closer. One day, when a few years passed, her father - an old, wise and kind man - said, his daughter will marry someone, who gives her something very special. The young man came the next day in their house they lived in. He said," you flipped the page.

" 'I do not have much to offer - gold, silver, or gems - but I do have this," he took out a notebook out of his coat, and offered it. The girl's father took the notebook, and opened it. It was full of drawings of flowers, animals and people - but mainly of one special maiden, when she was laughing, collecting flowers, brushing her hair, cooking, reading...When she came there, and looked throught the book, her father looked at her, and she nodded. So, he looked deeply into the young man's eyes, and said 'She chose you.' "

You finished the story, and Kili giggled at how interested his brother was.

"Now who's the child here,"

[jtrokujo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐑

paring: Juzzo Susuya x fem!Reader

word count: 2.6k

warnings: blood, brutal

gerne: drama

summary: You loss someone very close to you through a ghoul. However, you were rescued by an unknown man that you would see him again, neither of you knew.

—

A woman's life has never been easy, no matter what century you live in, there are always people whose minds are from the previous century.

Since I am a student and have to go to work right after all my lectures it is late in the evening, as I am lucky in an unsafe district in Tokyo it doesn't make the situation any better, apart from the perverted men there are quite a few ghouls in this world, that can turn any person's life into a nightmare at any second.

Sometimes I hate them a little too much, because one of them had murdered my best friend in front of my eyes and then ate it. Since I was in a state of shock, I couldn't do anything, neither run nor scream.

The only thing I could do was let my tears run free.

If he hadn't come that evening, I'm sure I would have been dead long ago.

I don't know his name for it but his looks, it has to be said that his looks don't distinguish that of a 'normal' person, but it's nice to see someone else.

But this charisma that he had was terrifying, my heart beat and beat against my chest every time, while he laughed and screamed by brutally and inhumanly murdering someone in front of my eyes.

Anyone with a sane mind knows that the ghouls are cruel, but just because someone is so cruel you don't have to be like that person, because in the end, until you are just like that person you loathe.

Today is Saturday, my favorite weekday, but why?

Quite simply, no school and no work.

Nevertheless, I am outside and am just about to buy flowers, because today it is 4 months ago that Haruki sacrificed his life for mine.

Just looking back, it makes my back cold.

Instead of the sun shining for him, the rain presents the tears from me for the past months.

He was like a brother to me.

I'm going to graduate soon just so I can become a police officer, it will take a long time, but everything has its time.

Kneeling in front of his tombstone, which was engraved with his name, laid (Y / N) the flowers and closed her eyes for a long time.

For it is now autumn, the sun has already set.

Sighing, she got up and took the subway in the district where she lives, but she was less lucky in which district she is, because this is the district where most murders, robberies, drug trafficking and much more happen.

You have to consider that the rents there are pretty cheap.

Just as (Y / N) was about to take her headphones out of her pocket, she heard distant steps behind her.

Hesitantly she turned around but nobody saw.

She slowly put her headphones where it was before and jogged a little.

Maybe she should run, but what if?

if there really was a person here, or a ghoul and if she should run, what should she do if he was standing in front of her?

When she was about to run away, she heard a loud scream, it sounds like pain and cruel agony.

As reluctantly as she wanted to go there, a question came through her head: "What if it was a person, someone who was attacked by a ghoul?"

Dejected, she started running in that direction, she will probably die any second, but she has to save someone!

If she couldn't save him then at least this stranger could.

When she arrived at the finish, she only saw one back, he was wearing a blue sweatshirt and had black hair, his fingers are clamped to his hair and his screams were louder than before.

Slowly as she approached him, she held her hand in front of her mouth so as not to make a sound - the bad sounds are rising over her head.

A dead man lay before him, covered in blood, his face barely recognizable, his stomach torn open.

When the crying man turned around, her breathing stopped, it was more than just a ghoul, it was someone she knew.

You could say they are good friends "Ken?" she asked softly and looked into his black eye.

Had he always been a ghoul?

Various emotions are brought together through his eyes, anger, shock, fear and, above all, hate.

Without knowing how (Y / N) should feel, a salty tear rolled down her cheek, "Get lost!" he shouted in her face and immediately looked away from her, but how could she run?

While in shock, Ken prefers to focus on the dead man.

The dead man's blood is on the floor, on Ken's hands, clothes and face.

She ran away in fear of the one she saw as a friend.

As fast as she could she ran into nothing, just not with him.

Her breath was loud and since breathing is loud it is easier for her attacker to find her.

When she was about to be free from this area, someone grabbed her wrist, but the person overdid it and managed to break her wrist in a few seconds.

She screamed loudly in pain, but her attacker covered her mouth, she tasted iron ... blood?

Her eyes widened to see that it was Ken who broke her wrist

"I'm sorry, but I have no other choice."

Ken.

Said my mind, I slowly closed my eyes and waited every second until it ended my life when I suddenly heard a laugh.

It wasn't Ken's, definitely not mine, but it sounds so familiar to me.

I opened my eyes and saw a white-haired man in the distance approaching us every second, without really being able to do anything, I closed my eyes and screamed loudly until I heard something drop.

I slowly opened mine and at the same time couldn't feel Ken's arm anymore, but I felt his stomach on my back.

I regret opening my eyes because Ken's arm was there.

All the red blood is all over the floor.

The sirens rang loudly, the lights of the police cars shine towards us.

All weapons are aimed at us, or rather at Ken, they want to kill him.

His body is still close to mine, it was trembling badly.

"Ken, get out of here."

Unfortunately, we both know too well that if he's here a minute longer, he's going to die.

"I am sorry." he said softly and disappeared from nowhere.

Apparently the white-haired man didn't feel like following him but approached me, he lifted Ken's cut off arm in the air and bragged about it in front of the police officers.

Then he looked at me and said, full of joy, "Wait a minute! I know you!"

The fear still lingers in me, so I couldn't say anything.

A police officer approached us and asked me to come along so I can answer the questions that were sent to me.

"I want to come with." said the stranger, and went ahead.

Together in the car he tried in vain to have a conversation with me several times, but how can I?

I saw with my own eyes how a friend of mine is actually a ghoul and an innocent man was just about to eat.

Please let all of this be a bad joke to me.

In one room, the officer questioned me, but if I'm honest I have to admit that I didn't answer all questions honestly.

What would they do with Ken?

Of course they'll kill him and even if he's a ghoul he'll still be my friend, no matter what.

It is clear to me that it is wrong to lie, but I know that Ken, even though he is a ghoul, is not that someone who enjoys killing people or even eats them.

I was given a small bottle of water in the hallway and waited for it to be released.

"Hey." someone whispered and sat down next to me.

"Hi." I whispered back, but my eyes stay on my bottle.

"You don't like to talk, do you?" he asked me and immediately started talking about himself.

Apparently killing ghouls is a passion for him, why exactly I don't know.

But maybe it's his past, who knows.

Juzzo Susuya is his name.

In contrast to the other people I met, he seems to be a little different, not only in character but also in appearance.

These scars that are on his body seem a bit strange, I don't know how exactly.

But one thing is clear to me, he is constantly smiling.

He's probably just happy and if it is then tell me how?

How can anyone be happy all the time since we first met I saw that smile on their face.

To be honest, it scares me a little.

But he seems to be quite young, for where and for what he works.

"Tell me about yourself ... human."

I didn't really give much of myself credit.

Just my name and that I want to work as a policewoman, but I want a job like Juzzo.

I know not every ghoul is bad, but there are too many.

Before Juzzo could talk, someone came and told me I could go.

I got up and wished them a good evening, when I looked at my cell phone to know what time it was, I was a bit shocked that it was shortly before 11 am.

"Hey, (Y / N)!" Juzzo's voice can be heard through the corridor, and I turned around in amazement.

Right in front of me the psycho was standing with a strange grin and said "I'll go with you, because what if a ghoul came out of nowhere, huh? Of course I'll kill him!"

He laughed with all his heart.

Although he seemed nice, he still scares me, but the fact that a ghoul could have intervened any second on the way home made me feel cold.

"Yes, please." answered hesitantly and went on.

On the way home there was a pleasant silence between us, apart from the police sirens the night didn't seem bad like the others.

Every now and then I looked up at the sky and see how beautiful the earth can be.

When I got to my apartment, I got the house keys until Juzzo spoke to me in a different tone.

But it's not that kind of tone that sends a shiver through your spine, no, it's something familiar and yet unfamiliar.

"(Y / N), do me a favor and look for another job, you have seen for yourself how dangerous that can be."

Sighing, I answer "I can decide about my future myself, Juzzo. Take care of yourself."

And so I opened the door and closed it immediately afterwards.

But it's probably also the last time I saw him, someone he'll save my life and ... whatever (Y / N) don't think too much about it.

TIME SKIP

It has been about 3 years after this case.

I am about to buy a coffee from a bakery, but I am buying a small piece of cake for a good friend of mine, but I am not surprised that he likes something sweet.

I got in the car and drove straight to the station, actually nothing special as it is already part of everyday life.

Get up, get ready for work, drive to the bakery to buy a cup of coffee and a small cake and finally drive to the area, nothing special as I said.

Once there, he was already standing in the entrance and looked at the surroundings, but when he saw me he waved his arms up in the air and shouted my name the whole time.

His colleagues looked at him in surprise, but he skilfully ignored them.

"Good morning, Juzzo." I said, handing him his cake, he threw his arms through my waist and also said "Good morning, (Y / N)."

I am happy to have a good friend like Juzzo in my life.

Even if he can be a psycho at times, he still seems to find the right words for you every now and then.

It's hard to believe that he can make me laugh so quickly in just a few seconds.

The work day was not very special today, so I struggled not to fall asleep.

After our release, Juzzo suddenly had the idea of ​​going to the cinema because a new horror film was coming out, seriously?

Dejected, we made our way, while Juzzo chatted about various original murder documentaries, but it has to be said that they are better than horror films.

After Juzzo, strangely enough, paid for the tickets and the snacks, we looked for our seats.

That can be something.

TIME SKIP

"It was completely boring." sigh Juzzo disappointed as we got into my car.

"I can just agree with you."

I started the engine and hit the gas and started driving around town.

There aren't many people to see, but maybe it's better that way.

Just when I had to think of Ken out of nowhere my cell phone was buzzing, bored Juzzo took my cell phone and took it.

"(Y / N) and Juzzo here, what's going on?" he asked, showing my screen, a guoul is sure to be in sight.

We were told where this is and hung up immediately afterwards.

"I love killing ghouls, but I'm so tired today. And all because of this movie."

With a giggle, I said that he could stay with me and drove straight in the direction.

After about 5 minutes we have already reached the finish line.

Annoyed, I took out my gun while Juzzo started running like a psycho.

However, the ghoul did not see it from Juzzo but from me, he let go of his victim so that she could run away for her life and jumped in front of me.

Surprised, Juzzo turns around and screams if he is not enough.

Immediately I grabbed my weapon and immediately made a deep wound on him, of course he wasn't very happy about it and immediately set his claws.

Unfortunately, I evaded too late, so the wounds on my cheek can certainly become scars.

When he was about to take another hit, Juzzo's weapon threatened through his stomach, the ghoul suddenly stopped and spat out a lot of blood.

He quickly pulled out his weapon and beheaded my attacker who was now lying on the floor covered in blood.

Since I do not want that not only my clothes but also shoes are covered with the blood of a ghoul, I tried in vain to get up, maybe I sprained my ankles, but it will be fine.

Juzzo immediately took my gun and asked me if he should carry me, whereby I said that it wasn't too bad and also started to run.

Juzzo hesitated, but he knows himself that it is useless to argue with me.

After what feels like an eternity, we are back home with the help of my car.

Annoyed, I took my laundry and in the next second found myself in the shower.

When I got out of the shower I saw that Juzzo also wanted to take a shower and gave him the spare clothes that I have for him in the closet.

After he was finished we lay down together in my bed and put the covers on our bodies.

I turned off the light and whispered softly, "Love you, Juzzo. Good night."

"Me too."

He deserves the slap in the face.

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Can I ask for some badass jason moment like maybe he does something badass and people realize wow Jason's powerful and idk maybe percy just drools after his badass himbo boyfriend

Idk I'm not feeling great and just need some badass jason love all mixed in with percy being the one who drools not the other way (I dont mind the other way but I really want jason to be admired)

Hello sweet Anon. I'm so sorry you aren't feeling all good🥺sending you warm hugs and light☀️

Here's some dark!jercy featuring badass!Jason and some badass!Percy too. I hope you enjoy.

And if you're in need of anymore badass!Jase here's some other fics of mine: Dark!Jason trying to save kidnapped Percy; Dark!Jason forcing the gods to save Percy

If anyone else has badass!Jason fics please link them for Anon💖

Masterlist

But onto this one!

TW: dark, murder, blood. This is not for the faint of heart, please proceed with caution.

"On your right!" Someone screams. It's not for his benefit. He is a weapon of mass destruction. The warning is for his opponent.

Percy Jackson slides under a gleaming sword and vaults back up with a wicked smile on his face. “Missed me."

The demigod shrieks, turning back around to face him.

"I will kill you Percy Jackson."

"You know I get tired of hearing that after ten years of this."

"Stop talking and fight me like the hero you're supposed to be."

He bares his teeth, green eyes flashing with anger, "I'm nobody's hero."

"Now that's a lie if I've ever heard one." A deep, clear voice from behind them drawls.

"Now is not the time you hopeless romantic." He laughs, turning to see his godly boyfriend landing on the ground with a soft thud.

"There's always time to appreciate you." Blue eyes twinkle, love and amusement glittering like stars.

"Can you two just shut up for like five seconds?" The demigod he had forgotten about growls, "I have shit to do and I'd prefer if we could get this over with."

"Better things to do than killing us?" Percy raises a brow, "Gee so sorry we're keeping you from your busy schedule."

"What's the problem anyway?"

"Your worthless trash of a boyfriend refuses to die."

"Oh," He winces, "You probably shouldn't have said that."

Jason's eyes flash with something otherworldly, dark, sinister, beautiful, "Why are you trying to kill him?"

The demigod' s expression flashes with disgust, like this simple task is beneath them, "Orders from the boss."

"And who is the boss?" His boyfriend asks quietly.

Percy can feel the air turning electric around them, can see the lightning slowly crackle in Jason's veins. After all these years, he knows better than anyone when his love is going to explode, can read the signs faster than even the blonde himself.

"We're under oath to keep the secrecy of the boss' identity."

"Cowards!" The Son of Jupiter growls, "Tell us and we can make this easy."

The sky above them goes a sickly shade of grey, and there are bolts flashing behind those blue eyes.

The demigod looks between them, fear finally seeping in. But they see Percy's smirk and something becomes visibly stone in their expression.

"Fuck you. I'll kill both of you."

The world detonates and green eyes dance with laughter as the demigod claws at their throat, eating lightning like candy.

"Tell us." The blonde's voice is deathly quiet. Soft with malice.

"Chiron." They gasp. Their body stiffens, hazel eyes freezing in an expression of horror. And with a single flick of his wrist Jason effaced the air from the demigod's lungs, carrying it in his golden fingers, and blew a kiss to the sky with that stolen oxygen.

"Gods you're hot," Percy sighs, looking at him with dark eyes and seduction.

"Later," His boyfriend laughs, "First we got a centaur to kill."

He grabs onto those broad shoulders, nuzzling his nose into his neck. Jason wraps his arms around him and kisses his forehead.

"You ready?"

"Fly me away Superman." He giggles.

And so they take to the skies, Percy clinging onto him with all his might and Jason laughing into the world.

"Why do I let you convince me this is a good idea?" He groans, "I hate this."

"The excuse to hold me outweighs your fear," The blonde whispers in his ear.

"It's your fault for being so godsdamn attractive."

His answer is met with laughter, and happiness, and never-ending love.

"Do we have to kill Chiron?"

Jason's body goes taut with anger, not at him. Never at him. "He tried to hurt you. He will not get away with that."

"I know," Percy winces, "But he raised me in this world. It seems... wrong?"

"What do you want to do instead?" The blonde finally gets out. Compromise. Collaboration. He knew it took a lot to get to this stage.

"Maybe we could—"

The Son of Jupiter gasps, his whole body shuddering.

In an instant Percy knows something is wrong, very, very wrong. A growing pool of blood is growing on the blonde's shirt, and a pretty wooden arrow is sticking out of his back.

"What the fuck?" He yells, looking around for the shooter.

"Perc," His boyfriend whispers, "I can't hold us up for much longer.

And then they're plummeting to the ground, wind screaming in their ears, twin hearts beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

But Percy is not afraid. For below them is the ocean and in his many years of living that great blue expanse has always been a safe place, a comfort, a protector. So they hurtle to their watery end and when they hit the sea Percy feels himself come alive.

He snaps the arrow at his boyfriend's back and puts a bubble of air around him.

"Here," He offers the ambrosia with a stern look, "Eat."

"We have to go out there and kill them."

His smile is vengeance incarnate, "Oh we will.” It was fine when it was just him they were attacking but to target Jason. To target his love. There are no lines he wouldn’t cross, no place too dark to venture to. He is a hypocrite for it. But he doesn’t care. “First you're going to heal. Because this isn't going to be quick. They will suffer for drawing even a drop of your blood."

Jason's eyes widen, darken, fill with desire, "I love it when you get like this."

"Destructive?" He grins.

"Powerful."

And then his boyfriend is pulling him close and kissing him like the world ends today. He can taste the ambrosia still dissolving on his tongue, more than that he can taste lightning and potent love. The kiss is rough and stinging and full of teeth. But it's raw with hunger and relief too.

"Let's go have some fun." Jason breathes.

And he can't help but giggle with anticipation as they rise through the ocean and walk across it.

The destroyer and his healer.

An arrow flies towards them. With a single swipe of his hand Percy shatters the cool metal. Jason gathers the shards in the air and watches as they group to form a broken spear pointing back at their attackers.

With a whispered hum the broken pieces fly across the sea and pierce six hearts perfectly.

Finally the two reach land, grainy sand sinking under their weight as they take in the scene in front of them. Twenty centaurs, four demigods, and an array of bodies convulsing on the ground as their own arrows slice their organs.

"Why?" Percy tilts his head, staring directly at the centaur he had known for so much of his life.

"You are too powerful. We cannot risk letting you roam free. We must keep the balance." Chiron's voice is almost robotic, as if he had rehearsed the words so many times they've lost all meaning.

"Roam?" He laughs, "I do not roam. I'm not a fucking animal. I live." He glances at the crowd, "And you are afraid because you do not know how to."

"Shoot him." Chiron bellows.

They all pull their bows taut, eyes gleaming with misplaced hate. The arrows let loose. Soar towards them.

"I don't think so." Jason smirks. And suddenly those deadly shafts are frozen midair, hanging like gleaming charms.

Someone gasps, another faints, dies from fear.

"Leave us alone Chiron." The Son of Jupiter says softly. It is not a request. It is a command.

"Stand your ground," The old centaur mutters grimly.

"You know you will not walk away from this." Jason's voice is music, and melodies, and opulent demolition.

Percy can't hold in a beam as he stares at the blonde. Now is probably not the time to be drooling over himself with attraction but there's just something about Jason Grace like this that makes him feral with excitement, temptation.

"Stand your ground!" The centaur screams.

And it works because everyone, cowering or not, straightens their backs and sets hard gazes on the two demigods.

They release twin sighs, knowing they tried their best.

"Why does no-one ever listen?" He rolls his eyes.

"You think at some stage they'd learn." His boyfriend snorts. And the arrows still suspended in the air quake, as if trying to break from their hold.

"Shall we then?" He turns to meet that electric gaze.

Jason let's the arrows go and Percy whips his arm in a circular motion, lifting the ocean from behind them and slamming it into the crowd of killers.

Bloodied and choking the diminishing group sprint towards them, arrows bouncing out of their skin.

They don't get more than ten steps before lightning rains down, stabbing their every orifice. And just to make it special Percy feeds each of them ocean water and laughs as their insides fry, electrocuted by the sea and the sky.

It is over in a matter of seconds, not a body moving, twitching, breathing. Except one. A demigod with bright hair, drunk on fear.

"Please," She begs, "Please don't kill me.

"You tried to kill us even when we asked you not to. Why should we give you the courtesy?" He spits.

"Please," She cries, and that's all she says, all she mutters over and over again.

"Lucky for you," Jason shrugs, "We like to have one survivor to pass the warnings on. The stories."

She whimpers, clawing at the sand in an attempt to get away.

Percy laughs, wraps the earth around her ankles. "Not so fast. Tell them. Tell all of them what happened today. And make sure they know that it was not us who started it. But we gladly finished it."

"Nobody ever wants the villains to win," The blonde looks at her sympathetically, "But I ask you this: if we are the villains of your story, who do you think are the villains of ours?"

Her eyes widen, and then she turns on her side and heaves.

"Take care darling," He waves, "And here's some ambrosia for that wound on your side." He tosses her the little bag of golden squares with a wink.

And then Percy Jackson and Jason Grace link hands, glance at the decimation they caused and share twin smiles.

Villains or heroes?

No, that had never applied to them. They had always be something else, something more.

They are gods.

[yan-twst]

Hi yan-twst, I'm the one that sent the" dorm leaders going after Crowley's secret child " request. And I know you said choose one, but it was hard to choose one. So I narrowed down my choices to the one that abuse their magic or the one that abuse their power in status. And to be completely honest with you I'm completely ok with choosing between the two.(Like I said before I can't really choose).

context for this ask: the requester wanted a chill and fearless darling that the dorm leaders thought was magicless, but they’re actually Crowley’s child, and eventually grow tired of the boys’ manipulative tendencies so they take away their magic / something important and fly away. 

i asked this dear requester to narrow down to one character so i could work with the prompt! and since i’ve been given these options, i’ll choose malleus- since he’d exploit both his magic and status ^^

warnings: general yandere themes, although the darling escapes in the end 

It’d started off innocently enough- Malleus had taken interest to the odd, magicless student who’d for some reason been admitted to NRC. Crowley had been insistent that this student was absolutely magicless, skipping the magic mirror and sending straight to the previously abandoned dorm of Ramshackle, where Malleus liked to hang out. Of course, the fae was bound to meet with this newcomer because of this, and overtime, they grew close.

At first they were friends. Malleus hadn’t had many friends before, his life having been quite lonely and isolated, but this magicless student seemed to not fear him. They’d ask if they could touch his horns, to see demonstrations of his magic with a big smile- it drove his heart crazy. He wanted to be close to them, to see their smile... They were the only human- hell, the only creature aside from his entourage, to treat him so... Normally. It wasn’t long before Malleus determined he was in love.

It... was love, right? The tight feeling in his chest, the fluttering in his heart when he was close to them. The burning, acrid jealousy eating away at him when he’d spot his beloved talking to other students during the day; the desire to keep their smile to himself... He was surprised when they accepted his confession one night, when he finally decided it was time. As always, they smiled at him- they said they loved him too- and kissed him. Oh, Malleus hadn’t felt so warm in his life!

But the jealousy, the envy; those acidic emotions still ate away at him. It wasn’t enough to date his darling: their kisses, their hugs, holding their hand- no, it wasn’t enough, not when others didn’t acknowledge they belonged to Malleus. The dark fae would step in between his darling and their friends, cutting conversations short, whisking them away. He’d watch them from afar during classes, and stick around their dorm while they slept. He needed to be close to them, needed to make sure nobody was trying to take them away.

At first, he placed a tracking spell on them while they slept. He felt a bit guilty, doing this without their knowledge- but... How else would he keep them safe? A tracking spell evolved into spying on them with a magic mirror whenever they weren’t in his field of vision, to a charm to be able to hear whatever they said; well... If his magic was so powerful, it wasn’t wrong to use a few weak little spells to make sure his lover was safe, was it...? He knew it was wrong, deep down, but he couldn’t help it. He was a slave to his love.

“... Mal-mal, where am I...?” his darling’s groggy voice asked as they woke up in his bed. All his possessive behaviour had been leading up to this- he stood next to the bed, gazing at them. Finally... He’d snapped. It wasn’t enough to watch and intervene his darling’s interactions: they had to end. With a sleeping curse, he’d snuck them into Diasomnia- where he could keep them safe... Confined.

“Darling,” he said, cupping their cheek as they looked nervously at him. Not scared- his darling was never scared, but... Weary. Those eyes... Oh, he wished they weren’t so wary of him; he longed for the day when they’d gaze at him with love again, instead of being fearful at his actions. “I love you. I love you more than you can comprehend.”

“I- um, I love you too, Mal-mal, but where am I? Seriously?” they said, a bit nervous. They stirred in bed, looking around while Malleus took a seat on the bed to be next to them. “Your room...? Um, how did I get here- Malleus?”

“... I cannot stand it- how all those insolent humans and beasts stare at you. They look at you, touch you... I can’t take it. It’s driving me insane.” said Malleus with a sigh, locking eyes. “You, my dearest child of man... You belong to me. I love you- I cannot... I cannot permit anyone to have you.”

“Malleus, you’re... being weird.” his darling said, scooting away. They looked around nervously- the door was closed, was it locked...? “Let me go to my dorm, it’s late. I don’t want to play around, we have classes-”

“You will not have to worry over classes anymore. You’ll be staying here, where I can take care of you.” Malleus said, his voice making clear it was a statement, and not a suggestion. “I cannot allow you to mingle amongst everyone outside. You- you’re so weak; how can you possibly protect yourself without me by your side, child of man? What if one of those fiends cast a love spell on you? Hurt you with their magic? You’re weaponless in this world, my love, if I am not with you.”

“... Malleus. That’s enough.” his darling said, getting out of the bed. They were in their pyjamas, they noted- they’d been stolen right out their bed... “You- you’ve been getting too weird, and I’ve been trying to ignore it. But... This is my limit; I’m not going to let you keep doing this. I’ve had enough.”

“... You...” for a second, the dark fae looked crestfallen. Of course... Of course this would happen, he thought bitterly. Malleus Draconia is an unwanted beast, a fearful creature. Perhaps he’d been to foolish to think he’d be loved- but... He couldn’t just let his darling walk away. If he was treated like a beast, he’d act like one; he’d keep his hoard of treasures. “... I am not giving you a choice.”

Taking his magic pen out, Malleus cast a sleeping curse- if his darling was going to missbehave, he’d knock them out for a while. He’d been hoping that perhaps they’d at least agree to spend the night, so he could properly lock them in tomorrow, but... Well, he’d work with what he had; with a wave of his wand, he cast the spell on his darling. And they should have fallen asleep then and there- but instead, he watched with wide eyes as they called forth a magic pen of their own and countered his curse. What...? 

“That- a magic pen...?” he asked, eyes wide. How- no... His darling, they- they were magicless! How could they do that; and even so, no normal student could ever protect themselves against a spell from him...! “How-?”

“... You’re a fool, Malleus.” his darling frowned, visibly upset. “I loved you- I really did... I thought perhaps people were wrong, that you were a good man, just misunderstood, but- god, you’ve been hexing me and spying on me, and... I tried to ignore it, damnit! I just thought you’d return to normal, but... I won’t take this, Malleus. You are a fucking menace!”

“You- how do you know about the hexes? Weren’t you magicless?” Malleus stared, wide eyed. They’d known all along... He could feel anger welling inside of him. So his darling thought they could play him for a fool...?! Even if they had magic- he was one of the most powerful mages in the land. What hope could they have to stand against him?!

“I did. I didn’t do anything because I’m supposed to be playing the little innocent magicless student- my father wouldn’t be very happy if he knew I blew my cover, but...” his darling sighed, clutching their magic pen. “This is absurd, Malleus. You- you’ve been... Trying to manipulate me, take away my freedom- you’re just a monster!”

“Enough!” Malleus barked, enraged. How dare this human speak this way to him?! He was heartbroken and enraged; all he wanted was their love, their unconditional love... So why was this happening?! He began to cast another spell, but his darling beat him to the punch, summoning a hard gust of wind that nearly knocked Malleus’ pen out of his hand. 

“No, enough with you!” they cried, a fizzling sound filling the room. Malleus could recognize it- it was the telltale sound of a transformation spell going out. Soon, he could spot what his darling had been hiding: two large, black wings- almost inklike- sprouted from their back. Black wings, crow wings- could it be...? “Malleus- you’ve tried to take everything from me. I hope you like a taste of your own damn medicine!”

A swish of their pen, and suddenly Malleus was on his knees. No- he was Malleus Draconia, grandson of the great fae Maleficent- how could anyone just do this?! He groaned as a burning feeling spread through his body, the feeling of something being awfully wrong setting off alarms on his head. His magic- he could feel it draining away, like his soul was being ripped. A loud scream fell from his throat, pain coursing through him. Fae and magic were like one; taking it away from him like this, was like tearing off his limbs.

“YOU- WHAT ARE YOU- DOING?!” he barked, gnashing his teeth as he struggled to stand, body in immeasurable pain. For his darling to do this- this level of power, the crow wings... When did Crowley have a child?! 

“I’ve drained your magic.” they replied, plainly. “I wish I could do worse- were you human, you’d be left without a drop of magic for months... But knowing your power, you’ll probably begin to get your magic back in a couple days.” said his darling with a scowl. “That’s too bad- you deserve more, but that’s all I can do.”

Turning their back to Malleus, who was still grunting in pain and trying to force his body to stand up- was it to attack them? Hold them back? They didn’t care to find out. Approaching the window, they gazed at the sky; Diasomina’s dorms were so high up, especially their leaders’... Putting a foot on the windowsill and spreading their wings, they spared one last look at Malleus.

He’d been so sweet before- before his obsession and jealousy turned him into the monster people thought he was. And there he stood, barely able to stand in pain, eyes wide with his pupils narrowed into slits as he struggled to stop his darling. They sighed, shaking their head. 

“Now you know how it feels to be weak, Malleus.” they said, eyebrows furrowing. And with that, they took off- they’d have to report everything to their father. 

[angelic-serenade]

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

request: 🌟 Hellou!! I love ur work!! ❤️❤️❤️ Is it possible tó ha e a Alastor and younger(like 4 years younger) reader who have nightmares of his death sonetimes, cause she saw itt Back then, and go to big bother Alastor for comfort? 🦌

requested by: anon

a/n: okay so this was supposed to be a quick one-shot but my hand slipped and I wrote 9500+ words instead. oops. anyway, I hope this meets your expectations, enjoy!

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

pairing: Alastor x sister! reader

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

warnings: mentions of death, bit of angst, traumatic events, toxic relationship if you squint, Alastor being Alastor but softer for reader

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

It never rained down in Hell, no matter how ardently you had sometimes wished to feel the drops pouring down your robes. Even during your longest nights, the ones haunted by nightmares and long-forgotten memories resurfacing at your weakest, it would never rain like it did in those Gothic Novels your darling brother used to read you back in the day: you were no virtuous protagonist and never would the skies cry for your misery. It was probably one of the worst downsides of being stuck in Hell for all eternity: the equally eternal blood red sky forever looming over your head, serving as a reminder of your infernal punishment.

When you'd wake up in the middle of the night, after a particularly vivid nightmare, there was no pouring rain to muffle the sound of your hopeless wailings, no thunder to distract your spinning mind from its panic. Therefore, you found yourself continously seeking comfort from the only person you held dear to your now dead cold heart: Alastor, The Radio Demon, whom you had the privilege to refer to as your darling brother (at least in the privacy of your own bedchamber) - older brother to be precise, even if only by a few years. You had always been extremely fond of your sibiling, looking up to him as a role model - definitely not your wisest decision since it had landed you among the sinners of Hell. That's not to say you had any regrets, Heaven seemed like an awfully dreadful and boring place if you were to be completely honest.

Alastor, on his part, had affectionately doted on you back on the surface, taking his little sweetling under his protective wing as if his sole purpose in life had been to take care of you. As a consequence, on more occasions than you cared to remember, you had felt utterly asphixiated by your brother's undivided attention all your life, and quarrels had been a daily occurrence whenever his protective behavior clashed with your own desire for freedom. Your lovely mother had always been there to try and defuse your heated altercations, the poor woman; your dear brother and you, however, both shared the same stubbornness and desire to prevail on others, so that whenever your strong personalities came to oppose, trouble was always certain to follow suit.

You wished you'd appreciated his concerns more when you had been given the chance. Now in the afterlife, shows of affection were hard to come by. Mayhap that had been the worst punishment inflicted upon you after death: the privilege of having your dear brother by your side without actually being able to cherish and bask in his caring regards. Mayhap the illustrious Dante had been right in his musings all along: the law of retaliation had taken away from you the one thing you had never really appreciated in life, making you realize just how much you had taken for granted. Now that your brother had become Hell's greatest menace, an overlord to make things worse, weakness in any shape or form could and would not be tolerated under any circumstance, for both his and your sake.

Luckily, no demon in the seven circles suspected that the feared Radio Demon had any siblings to begin with, thanks to Alastor's foresight.

Your identity was to be kept secret at all costs in order to avoid undesired repercussions. If anyone were to even suspect you had any kind of connection to the Radio Demon - Alastor had told you - overlords and lesser demons alike would be at your throat in the span of a heartbeat. If given the chance, no enemy of his would ever hesitate to stoop as low as to attack him were it hurt the most, where he was most vulnerable. And that chance, he was not willing to give any time soon. You both had already died once and you were not keen on repeating the experience.

So you had followed his every order ever since your fall into the pits, leading a life death away from your darling brother and his chaotic ways - the one thing he hadn't been able to prevent in life -, keeping a low profile as a common denizen of Hell. Alastor would unsuspiciously check up on you every now and then, but his visits had been as rare as it was to see an angel in Hell - seeing him once a year was truly an unfair torture. Time went by and you grew more and more lonely as you mostly kept to yourself and wasted your days away in a nice apartment away from prying eyes. You were a nobody in Hell, and that was how things were meant to be.

Things changed when Alastor unexpectedly showed up at your doorstep for the second time in a year, blabbering about the newest project he'd involved himself with. His words betrayed unusual enthusiasm, a mood you had learned to be usually spurred on by the prospect of carnage and bloodshed or his precious radio broadcasts. Whenever he came to see you, he always showered you in gifts and praise, but it had been centuries since you had seen your brother so excited over... anything, really. Therefore, witnessing his cheeriness brought a genuine smile on your face. You were a little jealous you weren't the reason why he felt so giddy, but you couldn't complain as spending time with him was the greatest gift you could ever ask for these days. So when he told you you'd be moving into this phantomatic Hazbin Hotel, where he'd be staying for a while as well, you were impossibly ecstatic. Alastor had gently caressed your cheek and, in one of his rare moments of tenderness, softened his voice as if to lull you away:

“My dear, it has always pained me so to leave you here to your lonesome, but I am certain you understand that I always ever meant to protect you from harm.”

Unexpectedly, as most of his actions were, your dear brother spun you around into his arms as if he were coaxing you into a dance - which would probably be the case, knowing him. His words were impossibly haughty now, as if a switch had gone off in his mind:

“But now sweetling, now the time has come to finally put an end to this painful arrangement. You'll be joining me at this whimsical Hazbin Hotel our dear princess is so enthusiastic about!”

You knew better than to question Alastor and his ways, so you simply nodded your approval, glad to finally be able to leave that god forsaken apartment you had been locked in for far more than you cared to admit. And so you moved to the hotel - still keeping your true identity a secret, mind you. You were introduced as one of Alastor's acquantances, much like both Niffty and Husk were. Nobody questioned your unexpected presence and Charlie (much more than everybody else) welcomed you with opened arms into her precious hotel. When you offered to lend a hand with whatever she needed, she was utterly ecstatic. All in all, you were quick to adapt to the new situation.

The new accommodation, however, brought about quite a lot of new issues as well.

Spending so much time with Astor, for one, even if pretending not to be as close as siblings should be, awakened long forgotten memories about your life on Earth, most of which you would have preferred to keep locked away. During your very busy days, you were able to distract yourself from your scattered thoughts and memories; at night, however, your subconscious relentlessly haunted you in the form of nightmares and there was nothing you could really do to prevent it.

It was inevitable that you'd start losing sleep, as the only way to evade the cage that your mind had become was not to sleep at all. Astor had grown increasingly worried about your sleep-deprived state, even if he tried not to show it, masking his concern with his usual smile and charming talks:

“You will chase away any potential patrons looking so disheveled and shabby, my dear. Charlie will surely be heartbroken.”

You wouldn't have put it past him to manipulate you through guilt, but you knew that Alastor was truly worried about your health. His gaze, cryptic to most, felt all too familiar to you, just like the expressiveness of his smile held no secrets from you anymore. Needless to say, as fond of him as you were, you tried to sleep once again.

Then one night everything changed: it had been the worst night of your undead life, and the best one too.

The deafening sound of gunshots had echoed through your unconscious mind, increasingly loud footsteps and dogs barking so loud that you subconsciously jerked in your sleep. A call to your name, desperate, hopeless and scared. You saw him, his beautiful maroon eyes that had once only pooled in fondness for you, now dark and miserable. But they held promise too, a promise to fulfill maybe someday, in another life.

“I'm sorry (Y/N)”

His smile had dropped.

So had you.

You woke up screaming, trashing about in your bed. Sweat clung to your brow, your mind in a frenzied panic searched for something concrete and real to cling to. Was your brother alright? Satan, you hoped so. He had to be, he couldn't leave you again, you had to go to him, to see him, you didn't want to lose him again, you wouldn't bear the pain - you almost tripped in the bedsheets as you scrambled to the door.

When you arrived to Alastor's door, you had yet to calm down. You rapidly knocked on the hard wood, agitation evident in both your jerky movements and shivering hands.

“Alastor, Alastor, please. Open up. It's me” you desperately whispered.

As the door gently opened, your brother stepped into the darkness of the hallway and you unceremoniously flung yourself to him, clinging to his neck as if it were your lifeline. Your tears wet his robes, but you couldn't bring yourself to care enough to apologize. You felt like you had almost lost him again after all those years of seclusion.

But he was alive and he was with you. That's all you could hope for and far more than you thought you deserved.

Alastor uncharacteristically started to pat your head, as if trying to console you even though he had little to no experience in that area. His movements were uncertain, but as you lifted your head from his chest to gaze into his eyes, you realized no words would ever convey as much affection as Alastor's eyes did in that brief moment. His smile never faltered - even if it had become a bit strained - but you hadn't expected it to. It made you smile through your tears, despite yourself. You realized in that moment you'll forever be the only one allowed to touch Alastor without eliciting his wrath. That fact alone enough for you to truly appreciate the amount of control he'd give up in order to comfort you. He gently brought you to his bed and sat you down next to him.

“Are you quite alright sister dear? You know, those awful tears don't suit you at all! I rather much prefer your blinding smile!”

You smiled wider this time, for him, to let him know that you were indeed grateful.

“Oh, now that wasn't so difficult, was it?”

When he kissed your forehead, you almost broke up crying once again: it had been so long since you and your brother had been so close. The gesture warmed your long dead heart and you tried to return the favor by kissing his cheek. Nobody had ever been that intimate with the Radio Demon and lived to tell the tale, but in that moment he was no demon of hell: he was just Alastor, your dear brother who had doted on you in life and kept protecting you in death too - even though his ways weren't the most orthodox.

“I missed you Al. Please, don't ever leave me again.”

“I most certainly shall not, my sweet little darling. It's a promise.”

You were glad he let you stay with him for the rest of the night. No words were needed as he brought you close and took your hands into his. You both laid on the bed, in a rare moment of peace and quiet. It reminded you of your childhood on Earth and how you'd always sneak out of your room during the night to sleep next to him - you had always been afraid of the dark after all. Only in your adulthood had you learned that there are worse things than darkness one should fear.

After eons of suffering and terrible loneliness, everything finally fell into its rightful place.

Alastor was safe and so were you.

That was all that mattered.

[roseyserpents]

Someone You Loved

Summary: You were the love of Billy's life. Even when tragic events happened in both of your lives, you're always there for each other. But eventually one of you become the tragic event.

Warnings: cussing, angst, car crash, death

Word count: 3,986

A/N: This is written to the song Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. I've been working on this for a while and I hope you like it!

I'm going under, and this time, I fear there's no one to save me

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

For the past week you'd been stuck in your own head. You'd been trying to figure something out but no matter how many times you started over and over again, you couldn't find the answer. The two weeks before you'd been talking to Billy Hargrove, the new kid and new king of Hawkins High School after dethroning Steve Harrington, and despite what the other girls said you'd seen a softer side of him. You only saw a little bit, but it was enough for you to want to see that side of him, the side of him that didn't start random fights and hookup with every girl. But, after you tried to get him to open the door to that version of him, he slammed the door in your face and stopped talking to you. You wanted to forget it all and just move on like every other girl after they got their short time with him, but you couldn't, and the fact you were stuck in place in the situation was driving you absolutely crazy.

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know

Somebody to have, somebody to hold

Billy staggers out of his house, rage boiling in his veins as he sees red and wipes blood off his lip. His back ached and screamed for his attention as bruises formed from him being slammed into the wall repeatedly. His head throbbed with a headache and a few cuts on his face, bruises in the shapes of fingerprints on his arms. All he could smell was the alcohol suffocating his father's breath, even with him and the aroma out of sight.

He climbs into his car, slamming down the gas pedal and speeding down the road with no particular destination, just needing to get as far away as he could from his house. He had nobody to turn to in his darkest times. Nobody dared get close enough to understand him or get to know him, nobody knew this side of him. Everyone who did was gone, either left him behind or back in California. He yearned for somebody just to help him or sit with him or tell him it was okay or just let him rant until he passed out, but there was nobody. Nobody was there for him when he needed them, he didn't know anybody like that. There were plenty of people waiting to know him for a few minutes, but no one to stay, nobody to be a permanent and constant in his life.

He didn't realize where he was going until he was stopped outside your house, the only light on being the one to your bedroom. He tossed the idea over and over again in his head before reluctantly climbing out of his car and making his way to the softly illuminated window.

You really didn't expect a knock on your window at one in the morning, the not so subtle knock nearly making you jump off your bed. Another knock comes and you grab a piece of wood that had fallen off of your bed frame from under your bed, slowly approaching the window. Your hand shakes as you pull back the curtains, letting out a small yelp when you see Billy's face peering inside. Hurriedly you open your window, confused as to why he was at your house and why he looked like he got hit by a truck.

"Billy? What the fuck?" You whisper yell as he closes the window, running a hand through his unruly curls.

"I know I kind of blew you off all week but I didn't have anywhere else to go." He says quietly, barely meeting your eyes.

"What... What happened?" You could hardly get your words out, utter surprise stopping every word from passing your lips. Your mind raced with every thought you'd had the week before and some more, going from asking yourself why in the hell he was here and why he looked guilty, to what to say and do and everything in between.

Billy stays quiet, the only sounds in the room being both of your breathing. You tried to meet his eyes to see the emotions hidden in the ocean blue, but he refused, sticking to the floor instead.

"Billy?" You say softly, trying to get an answer from him.

"Look, I just... Not now, okay?" You see his hand clench into a fist and his jaw tighten and decide to leave it at that, not wanting to push him anymore and make something bad happen.

It's easy to say, but it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

"I'll be right back." You say before quietly stepping out into the hall, digging through your bathroom cabinets before finding the first aid kit in the very back. You go back to your room, finding Billy sitting on your bed, staring out the window. You cross your room and sit down next to him, placing the first aid kit at your feet. He still looks forward, not removing his eyes from the sky freckled with stars. You examined his side profile, a saddened expression on his face with his lips slightly drawn into a frown. Your eyes wander to his arm where you see small oval shaped bruises making almost a ring around his bicep. Slowly you reach a finger up and graze it over the mark, Billy flinching away and you retracting your hand.

"Who did this?" You ask, looking up at him again.

He looks at his arm before looking at you, letting out a heavy sigh. "Me and my dad don't get along too well."

You gently place your hand on his shoulder, giving a pitiful look before picking the first aid kit up off of the floor and flipping it open. You take a bottle of water off of your nightstand and pour it onto a gauze, holding Billy's chin in your other hand and cleaning off the scattered cuts on his face. His eyes examine your expression as you focus on cleaning him up. A few minutes later you closed the kit and set it aside, returning at Billy's side.

For once all of the pain and anger seemed to disappear and become an almost unrecognizable ache. You numbed all of the negative feelings, his body and mind relaxed just with your presence. He didn't exactly know why you had this effect on him, but he knew he didn't want it to go away.

"Do you need to stay here tonight?" You ask after a long period of silence, snapping Billy out of his daze.

"Yeah, as long as it's okay with you."

You nod, a small smile grazing your lips. "The bathroom is the first door on the left if you need it."

Billy stands and leaves the room, you lying down in your bed after throwing your hair into a ponytail. You turn off your lamp, turning onto your side just as the door cracks open again and Billy slips inside. The hallway light disappears as he closes it again, making his way across the room. The bed dips with his weight as he lays down behind you, a small blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Y/n?" He says quietly after he settles, the room silent except for the barely audible sound of crickets outside.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

That's how it was for the next two months. Billy's dad would give him a hard time and he'd escape to your house and spend the night. Sometimes he was calm enough to talk to you about it and other times he didn't talk and just sat with all his muscles tense and anger in his eyes. Either way you cleaned him up the best you could and gave him a safe place to stay. You learned more about him and saw the soft side of him, and while it wasn't the prettiest you were still there for him.

I'm going under and this time I feel there's no one to turn to

You were working on your homework in your bedroom when flashing lights caught your attention from in front of your house. You close your book and step towards the window, your face falling when you see three police cars, a few of the officers talking to your parents. Fear of the situation consumes you as you run out of your room and fly down the stairs, making your way out the front door and standing next to your parents. You could hear your mom crying now and see quiet tears rolling down your father's face.

"Mom? Dad? What happened?" You ask, both of them turning to face you. Your mom starts crying harder and your dad looks down, more confusion displayed on your face.

"There was a fatal head on collision between two cars." One of the police officers, Chief Hopper, answer. "Your brother was in the passenger side of one of them and unfortunately he didn't make it."

Everything freezes around you, a ringing noise replacing everything else in your ears. The news seemed impossible. When your brother told you he was going out with his friends, you thought you were going to see him the next morning. They'd just learned to drive, but they all seemed trustworthy.

Hopper was trying to explain more things to your now family of three but you ran back to your room, curling up in your bed and sobbing into your pillow. All you could think about was how unfair the whole situation was and how you would never see him again, hear him or talk to him. Your house would be empty of his laugh, void of his presence. You would trade all of your memories with him just for him to be in the room just next to yours again but no matter how many times you tried to it didn't happen. You were drowning in your sorrow and overwhelming feelings, your head sinking below the waves and nobody was coming to save you.

The next day you didn't go to school, and you didn't the day after either. You got a few calls from Nancy and Jonathan but you just let it ring each time as you layed on your bed and stared at the ceiling with endless tears slipping down your face. You only left your room to use the restroom, in the span of two days only eating a peach and two slices of toast. You felt like you had no motivation for anything, not wanting to move on in a world where your brother didn't exist.

The day dragged on into night, the clock on your wall telling you it was eleven pm. You hadn't moved from your bed, lying on your side numb and void of feeling. You hear a knock on your window but don't move, a few more knocks coming before the person opens the window. They climb inside, momentarily letting the noise of the late summer night into your bedroom before it's closed again. You feel the end of your bed dip with the weight of your visitor, more tears dropping down your face and into the wet spot on your bedsheet. A hand lies on your back, their thumb gently rubbing circles into your skin. A small sob comes from the back of your throat and you close your eyes, tears somehow making their way through the cracks.

Now, I need somebody to know

Somebody to heal

Somebody to have

Just to know how it feels

"Do you... Want to talk about it?" Billy asks quietly. You shake your head and swallow a cry, feeling a pull at your heart at the suggestion of bringing his passing to reality. You sit up and turn to look at him, both of your faces barely illuminated by the small lamp on your bedside table. You see a multitude of expressions on his face, including concern but unlike the other people you'd seen there was no trace of pity. He wanted to be there for you instead of just shooting you a pitiful look and moving on.

You move closer to him and wrap your arms around his torso with your head against his chest, letting your tears fall instead of holding them in. Billy freezes a moment, emotions not being his strong suit by a long shot. Slowly his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, one of his hands running up and down your back.

"I'm sorry." You whisper after your tears slowed to a stop, pulling away and drawing your arms to your side.

"Don't be. You were there for me, so now I'll be here for you." Billy says asuringly.

So that's how your relationship progressed with Billy. Both of you were pretty broken people, but your broken pieces seemed to fit in perfectly with each other's. Everything was said to be platonic, but you knew that you were slipping down the steep slope that is falling for Billy Hargrove and you were starting to gain momentum.

Billy came in your window as usual, kicking off his shoes and plopping down next to you on your bed.

"You're still studying for the test?" He asks, looking to you with your nose in a text book.

"I want to get a good grade." You say, closing the hardcover. "You should study with me."

"Or," Billy counters, propping himself up on his arms, "We could go to a party."

"Billy, no." You immediately reject, repulsed by the idea of going.

"I am not going to take no for an answer." He says, standing up. You shake your head with a sigh as he grins down at you.

"If I get killed I'm blaming it on you." You grin, walking towards your closet to find better party clothes.

-

"Gather round we're playing seven minutes in heaven!" Carol announces. You recognize other people in the large circle, including Steve, Nancy, Tommy, and some others. You stood next to Nancy, across the haphazard circle from Billy.

Carol spins the bottle, two of your classmates running off to the coat closet down the hall. exactly seven minutes later they're back, a few more people going and more and more people coming back with lipstick stains and forming hickeys.

"I think it's Y/n's turn." Carol grins, placing down the empty beer bottle sideways on the coffee table. Your mouth twitches in disapproval but you don't say anything, watching the opaque green glass slow to a stop in front of a denim clad mullet of curls. He smirks at you and you quirk a brow before standing and walking towards the closet, whistles and yells following you. Almost as soon as you step inside the small room, hands are placed on your hips accompanied by the sound of the door closing. Your back was pressed against the wall, your breathing inclined as your eyes adjust to the dark, revealing Billy's face two inches away from yours.

"Are you sure about this?" Billy whispers, scanning your eyes for your emotions.

"Of course." You reply, breath laced with alcohol. "It's just a game, isn't it?" An unreadable emotion flashes on his face but it's quickly replaced with a smirk before his lips attach to yours in a hungry kiss. He abruptly pulls away, though, rubbing a hand over his face before stepping away.

"I can't." He sighs, leaning against the wall opposite to you. You give him a confused look, wondering why the boy who was usually all over any girl he could get was suddenly rejecting you. You chew on your lip before walking out of the door, smiling to everyone with Billy following shortly after you.

"I'm gonna head home." He says before worming through the crowd of teenagers and towards the door, leaving you confused and without a ride home from the party.

Two days later you lied in your bed, around three am giving up on the chance of Billy coming. Just as you'd shut your eyes and gotten comfortable, there was a gentle knock on your window. After opening it you sit back down on the side of your bed, Billy kicking off his shoes and closing the window before taking his usual seat next to you.

It's easy to say

But it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

"You know how I always say I like girls." He starts, you nodding and giving him a tired and confused look. "And while that's far from being wrong, when I say I like you it's different. I don't really know why and I've never felt this way before. Maybe it's because you just magically take away everything that my dad causes, you just kinda numb all of my pain. That's why I couldn't kiss you at the party. I didn't want you to be just another hookup for me, because you mean more."

"Billy are you sa-"

"I'm saying, that I'd love it if you'd consider going out with me." He says, a small smile trying to hide a layer of nervousness as he waits for your response. You don't say anything verbally, instead you throw your arms around him with a smile, sending him down into your mattress with you lying on top of him. You look from his glowing blue eyes to his lips before placing your own on them in a sweet and delicate kiss.

"So is that a yes?" He asks, you rolling your eyes and trying to get up but Billy's arms hold you firm against him. He rolls onto his side so your face is buried in his chest, a warm feeling of comfort spreading through you.

From that moment on, Billy made sure everyone in Hawkins knew you were his and nobody else's. Every time you two were around each other he was touching you in some way, whether it be holding your pinkie with his or holding you flush against him with both of his arms around you. Whenever anyone attempted to ask you out or touch you, they were quick to get a black eye from Billy. He was extremely protective of you, throwing fits if you got hurt in even the smallest of ways.

You and Billy sat on your couch, your head in his lap and his hands running through your hair, a movie playing in front of the two of you that you were hardly paying attention to.

"I love you." You say suddenly, causing Billy to freeze his actions.

"Really?" He asks after a few moments of silence, disbelief in his voice.

"Really." You smile, turning onto your back so you can look up at him. One of the most genuine and pure smiles you've ever seen spreads across his lips, you being quick in copying it.

"Say it again." He mumbles, leaning over you, with his hands holding your face.

"I love you." You smile.

"I," Billy pecks your lips, "love," another short kiss, "you." The last kiss lingers, both of you being forced apart when your grins become too wide.

But now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Everything was going perfect between you and Billy for about nine months, but nothing could ever stay perfect for either of you.

It was only supposed to be a quick drive up to the Quarry to have a midnight picnic at the cliff when a truck t-boned Billy's precious car driving right into the passenger side. He seemed to watch in slow motion as you were thrown violently to the side only to be stopped by your seatbelt and being jostled side to side while glass and metal slammed into both of you. The car ends up slidding into a metal pole on the driver's side, the final sound of crunching metal and cracking glass ringing out before there's nothing but silence. Billy painfully turns his head to the side, wanting to scream out when he sees your body crushed between the middle council, your door, and your seat. Jagged pieces of metal stook out in places, some starting to be coated in blood. Your blood. Your face was entirely still as the impact had knocked you out cold, hair sticky with maroon sap sticking to your cheeks and forehead. Billy attempts to move but is forced to remain still as everything in him is lit on fire at the smallest movements. He feels utterly useless just sitting there as you were basically dying before his eyes. The love of his life was slowly loosing the life inside of them and there was nothing he could do.

Sirens ring in the distance and pull up to the devastating scene less than a minute later, emergency responders working on trying to remove the two teens from the totalled car. They eventually get Billy out and load him onto a gurney, a few moments later removing you, looking so small and fragile. You lie limp in the arms of multiple people, panic gripping their faces as they lie you down on the pavement, yelling for someone to bring them something. Someone brings a defibrillator, an electric sound running through the air before they shock your chest, your body giving a violent shake. Nothing can describe the devastation Billy felt as he watches the workers try time and time again to bring you back. Eventually they yell something, rushing you onto a gurney like Billy's and wheeling you away to a different ambulance than his. He tries to protest but blackness quickly takes over his vision.

-

"Hey Billy."

Billy groans as he squints open his eyes, seeing the fiery red hair before seeing Max's grieving but relieved face. Sudden panic grips his heart as he remembers the previous events up until watching you being rushed away from him.

"Y/n." He mumbles in a weak and hoarse voice. "Where's Y/n?"

Max is quiet and looks down, a sniff emitting from her as she looks up again with tears brimming in her eyes. "They, um, they brought her here after the revived her b-but the crash was just too much for her." She hiccups, wiping at her face with her sleeve.

Billy goes silent. This had to be a dream, some kind of fucked up joke his mind was playing on him. There was no way you'd died. It wasn't possible for you to no longer be alive and breathing and laughing and smiling. You're supposed to be with him right now back at your house after taking a relaxing picnic at the Quarry. Soon he was going to wake up with your head on his chest and your body gently rising and falling with each breath that kept you alive because you are alive.

Even though visitors came and went Billy didn't talk to anyone, each day bleeding slowly into night just as you had slowly bled out next to him in his car. He was utterly broken, his heart chipping away and the pieces crumpling at his feet, but you weren't there to pick them up and gently put them back together. You weren't there to get him through this because you were the one putting him through this. The only thing he thought about was how it should've been him sitting there instead of you, or how he could've prevented everything and the girl he loved would be still with him. He was finally getting used to someone accepting him and loving him but now it was all gone, and now you were just a memory of someone he loved.