#nobody cares about this that's why I'm putting it in the tags lmao

[evilwickedme]

I'm currently reading yj98 and slowly collecting robin, robin ii, and robin 93, and I have the first three volumes of Nightwing... 95? I don't remember the year right now but the original miniseries + ongoing, so like, very seriously trying to catch up on the 90s - it just seems like the most interesting period in the batfamily?? Even though my fav Jason isn't there. I know that Helena was a big part of the batfam at the time and I haven't read a single issue with her, plus no man's land seems like a big deal (plus it's Cass's introduction?? I think??) and the only thing I've read of that is the yj tie in (which was a lot of fun and I get the impression not an accurate representation of nml's tone). I'm also reading a bunch of older marvel stuff right now so like, obviously all of this is going to happen at whatever pace I get to it, but I'm working really hard at it jstjsfhetjta

Any other major characters I probably don't know? I've mostly been focusing on Tim and Dick's supporting casts and less Bruce himself

What does Alfred call Cass? Do you know anything about their relationship?

First of all, they are HILARIOUS together. Very incompatible ways of communicating affection and priorities. Amuses me endlessly.

Alfred calls her 'Miss Cassandra', if I'm remembering correctly. That's simple enough to answer. But their relationship!

-

So Alfred is this reserved old man who shows affection through acts of service, and prefers it returned through restrained verbal affirmation ('thank yous'). Cassandra is a half-feral street kid who DOES NOT VALUE THINGS, and both shows and receives affection through physical contact and/or large body language.

They're both smart enough to understand that they're missing a lot, but they just don't GET each other.

Alfred invisibly cleans Cass' space, provides her with clothing and food, and otherwise attends to every comfort he can think of (including TRAVELING TO BLÜDHAVEN TO DO SO REGULARLY while she was living there). Cass doesn't notice or care about clean spaces, and just assumes food and clothing exist in a ready state in houses.

He obviously doesn't want hugs or shoulder punches. All his emotions are bottled up. He disapproves of costumes in the Manor; and, like Babs, thinks The Mission is secondary to living. From her point-of-view, he doesn't really VALUE her.

Meanwhile, Cass never thanks him for his work. She rarely tries to make things easier for him, or adapt her behaviour to fit her context. She doesn't request physical contact, so neither gets the chance to find something that works for them. His dry humour goes completely over her head, so both attempts to bond, and to express his desire for things to change, are missed. She obviously doesn't care that much about him.

-

They like each other.

Alfred snarks at her pretty frequently. She blithely takes him seriously.

They bond over how OBLIVIOUS strangers are. (Especially when people just don't notice anything weird about her. They both find that funny.)

They aren't HURT by the other's behaviour. But they both exist in the other's blind spot, and have missed most of the attempts to bond. They're okay with the relationship they have, but both think it's like this because that's what the other wants.

(This is all based off of memories that are a dozen years old. I mostly remember stuff after Steph's death, when Cass was in Blühaven. Before then she lived either with Babs, or in her own Batcave, and I can't remember them interacting. Though they had a good scene in the Gotham Knights issue where a social worker is investigating Bruce about Jason's death. Such a good issue. Anyways, they may have grown closer in things like Gates Of Gotham, which I've only skimmed.)

[bat-the-misfit]

i literally saw an ad written "white man in his 50s looking for a thin, black woman in her 40s" and i'm shocket

[cloudcountry]

flower crowns & a sunlit dream.

Genre/Tropes: MUTUAL PINING but it's REALLY heavy on Sebek's side. Unestablished relationship.

Summary: You decided to get some fresh air and relax, and Sebek decided to tag along. And by that, of course, I mean he can't say no to you.

Author's Comments: I wanted to write something nice for Sebek because a lot of people don't like him and I'm like "guys :(((( he's trying his best :((((" Also we both like reading and hate coffee which I think is really funny LMAO

~~~~~

The warmth of the sun was like instant stress relief as you stepped out into it. Breathing in the fresh air, you made a mental note to stay in the front lawn on Ramshackle a bit longer to decompress. With Grim holding onto your pant leg as he prattled on about tuna cans and the like, you made your way back to the dorm with a spring in your step.

The fence surrounding your run down building had never looked so beautiful.

Gently patting Grim on the head, you sent him off into the house to snack on his canned fish. He went happily, rushing through the doorway as his tail swished happily behind him. You were just about to go lay down in the grass and watch the clouds when you heard rapid footsteps approaching from behind you.

There was only one person they could belong to.

“Hello, Sebek.” you said, continuing your way into the grass and flowers.

“Human!” he yelled, skidding to a stop behind you as his bag thumped against his hip, “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you running around like your ass is on fire?” you hummed, sitting down in the grass, “Why don’t you come join me and relax? We have the next two days of school off, you know.”

“I don’t have the time!” Sebek snapped, spinning on his heel to book it back down the pathway.

“Oh please, I’m sure you do. What else could you possibly be doing right now?” you sighed glancing around at the meadow of flowers before you.

You were all too familiar with Sebek’s eccentricities and how to slowly put a stop to them.

“Oooh, dandelions! Hmm...I think they would suit you.” you gasped, gently plucking them from the dirt.

“What? Flowers?” he turned back towards you, eyes narrowing as the weird weaving you were doing with the freshly picked dandelions.

“Yeah. C’mere.” you patted the spot on the ground next to you.

“But-!” Sebek flushed as you narrowed your eyes at him, patting the spot next to you more.

He pursed his lips and sat down ungracefully on the rustling grass, unable to stop himself from glancing around awkwardly. He wasn’t sure what to do in this situation, or even what to do around you. You were so confusing to him, especially when you acted like this. He watched you as you hummed a soft tune, weaving the flowers into a circular shape. Sebek felt his heart seize in his chest, a reminder that the way he felt about you was never to be revealed. It didn’t matter how nice you were to him even though he screamed at you to go away, you��d always make him feel weird in the best way possible.

Shuffling around next to you, he rested his chin on his hands. There was no use trying to fight you off when you wanted him around. He’d learn a while ago that he was a little too weak for you.

“Here!” you held up the crown of flowers, setting it on his head, “I knew it. Dandelions suit you.”

He felt his face explode with warmth as you smiled at him, the light wind rustling your hair in a way that made it impossible for him to look away.

“Wh- I- Ah-” he cursed himself for not being able to speak, but you seemed to think reducing him to an embarrassed mess was funny, “If you’ll excuse me! I have a book to get to-!”

“Ooooh, what are you reading this time?” you asked, scooting closer to him.

Too close!

He jolted back, coughing sheepishly into his fist. You didn’t seem weirded out, only smug. How rude!

“It’s about a witch and a princess.” he grumbled, ignoring the happy twinge in his chest when you asked. Nobody really cared to ask what he was reading except for you.

“And?” you beamed. Rather cutely, might he add.

Curse you, human!

“The princess and the witch work together to rid the kingdom of the corrupt government running in it the princess’s absence! They tried to kill her years ago but failed, and the witch and her go on this huge adventure where they get into a lot of trouble and....” he froze, realizing how animated he’d gotten with you watching him like he deserved to be listened to like that.

You nodded slowly, a nonverbal request for him to keep talking. Sebek looked away, brow furrowing.

“Human! I won’t spoil it for you! Read it yourself.” he produced it from his bag, shoving it into your arms.

“Won’t you read it to me?” you asked, holding it like it was a precious treasure, “You were looking for someplace to read in peace, right? You can just pretend I’m not here.”

“But...But I’d have to start from the beginning!” he protested.

“Isn’t that better than just giving it to me, though? It looks like you’re almost done, but if you read it to me you could just mark that spot too and take it back to your dorm with you!” you argued.

He huffed, snatching the book back. You laughed, scooting closer once again.

“Checkmate.” you teased.

“Quiet! You want me to read to you, don’t you?” he hissed, opening up the book.

The first few sentences were a pain to get through, since he could feel you staring at him. The longer he kept at it though, the less it bothered him. You were just a little human, after all. There was no reason to be so nervous! Yeah! He could totally do this-

A warm pressure on his thigh made him jump out of his skin, eyes wide as he looked down at you.

While he was reading, you’d made yourself comfortable against his thigh, pretty eyes staring up at him as you waited for him to continue.

“Is this okay?” you asked, and all he could look at were your lips.

“Fine! It’s fine! Just don’t bother me again, human!” he yelled, face aflame once again.

He tried to hide his blush with the book, but it was in vain. He knew you could still see the way his ears burned red and the way his hands shook, and he knew you’d stay by his side and poke fun at him whenever you possibly could to see him flustered all over again.

But maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind you all that much.

[purpurussy]

Saw you asking about ywgttn - it's probably above your pay grade yeah I thought it was a bit MH 101, it's probably helpful for someone who deals with anxiety or depression but not anything else. But I do think the tone of it is pretty good, personally I cannot fucking stand those trite saccharine "you deserve to be gentle with yourself!" type books, and ywgttn is very much in dans usual voice. like typical Dan "turns out making a joke out of your poor mental health is actually a terrible coping mechanism, don't do what I did!" Sort of voice. I do actually think he did a pretty good job with the tone, not making it too heavy or deep while also taking everything seriously. But yeah if you're experienced in dealing with poor mental health it's probably not something you'd find useful.

Because it's so clearly his voice I do remember thinking I wanted more of his personal anecdotes from it, but it makes more sense that it's not about him, tbh. Plus that would be quite personal. Theres some stuff about his life in there but not much that we as fans of his YouTube channel wouldn't have already learned.

I'm really glad people are sharing their thoughts on ywgttn! I was looking up reviews a while ago when I was trying to decide whether to buy the new paperback version, and I found a reddit thread where people had a very different opinion which put me off a bit, but it also seems from what I can tell that dnp reddit became a bit toxic a couple of years ago (someone in the comments on the post I found said that it had become a "dan hating zone" during the hiatus), so I think that might be why.

The reddit phannies had a big issue with the tone (calling it "condescending" mainly), and claimed that he was giving dangerous/unhealthy advice, although yeah I think this was due to a specific kind of mysterious brain rot which seemed to take over phan reddit a few years ago. I just found the thread again and someone claimed that he was telling his "13-17-year old audience" (which firstly is like. are the 13 year olds in the room with us now) to rely on sex/masturbation as an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I saw the page about sex/masturbation posted earlier today, and what he said was "doing something relaxing, for example having an orgasm and putting your phone away, can help you sleep better" which is like fair enough, I think a lot of people would agree. But this person seemed to think he said "hey kids, did you know that the ONLY way to achieve good mental health is by JORKIN THAT THANG 24/7" so yeah I decided I'm gonna take the reddit opinions with a big old grain of salt lmfaooo. Your assessment of the tone seems a lot more appealing.

Your last paragraph did get me wondering if there was a bit of a marketing dilemma with ywgttn. I assume they had a market segment in mind of people who are already fans and are familiar with Dan and his humor and vibes, and I wonder if it was tricky to strike a balance between appealing to phannies who want more comedy and juicy personal anecdotes from him, while at the same time also appealing to a wider audience who might not know anything about him (or care about his life/get his comedy like we do) and are genuinely reading it as a self-help book. There's a risk of appealing to nobody if you're trying to make something that appeals to everyone, but it seems like he pulled it off!

Sorry I yapped a bit here lmao. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think I'll give it a go based on what you guys have said! (if nothing else I'm curious now, also someone said in the tags earlier today that it helps to parasocially listen to Dan specifically telling you to take care of your mental health, even if you've heard it before, and I think that might be the case for me too dshlsgkhlg)

[storiesbyrhi]

I just re-watched season 3 of Stranger Things (a.k.a. nobody checks on the children for four days straight) and here's the takeaway for me - whoever I was when I watched it in 2019 is not the girl you see before you. I have a wayyyy different interpretation of the characters and the show.

(Season 1 thoughts here. Season 2 thoughts here.)

Sorry to go all My Favorite Murder on you, but here's Correction Corner:

I should have mentioned Sam Owens in my S2 thoughts; I was suss of him in 2017. Still suss in the rewatch.

It was cool meeting Sinclair and Henderson families. Obviously, Erica was iconic from the get-go.

Needed more Scott Clarke.

Alright, it's Scoops Ahoy season, baby!

I'll never be as funny as Erica. I'm so glad someone realised that Priah Ferguson has impeccable comedic timing and tone. She makes the show better.

This is totally my personal feeling and definitely relates to the trauma I have experienced IRL, but I am so uncomfortable and scared of Hopper this season. I understand why he is so protective of El, but for me it crosses the line. The drinking. The way he reacts to Joyce not showing up at Enzo's. How he talks to her after. Gives me the ick. He's chilled out by the end but season 3 Hopper is not my fav.

Oh, hey, just another season of Joyce being absolutely fucking right from the get-go. When will people just believe her? As always, she's so great. Also, Joyce looking out for Alexei is so in character.

Alright, we're back on the Billy discourse. I saw someone write a post about how he wasn't the best choice for the Mind Flayer host because he was already an asshole so there wasn't enough contrast (I'm summarising, also if I can find the post I'll tag and link here). They're totally right. We don't get much character development for Billy because he's flayed by the end of episode 1, so I guess my opinion of him from season 2 stands? We get the backstory, but it still doesn't justify shit imo. This is probably a controversial opinion, but his death was less like 'I'm going to try to save these kids' or whatever, and more 'I'm awake and pissed I was mind controlled, so fuck you monster!' PSA: Adults shouldn't perv on teenagers. The Billy fan club by the pool makes me so uncomfy. Even if this is a thing lmao. Can't one single adult treat this kid right?!

I love Steve this season. He's totally himself for the first time. He's romantic, unhinged, smarter than people give him credit for, and a really shitty babysitter! He was always a great character, but Robin really makes him shine. Steve is so babygirl this season.

Karen Wheeler is a star. Not a perfect woman, but a brilliant character.

I forgot how smart Robin is? Why did they dumb her down in season 4? She is multi-lingual, a musical genius, generates a lot of the plot-driving ideas in the season, and is a charming mix of "hyper" (as Steve puts it) and warm empathy. She is also brave as hell; the way she spits at the Russian? I never really understood people's issues with season 4 Robin, but I get it now. She should have been more than just comedic relief - this season proves that.

Needs more Scott Clarke.

Will is so sidelined this season and I fucking hate it. He is the heart of this show. I know Mike is their star and by this point everyone was frothing Finn Wolfhard but man, they didn't need to bench Will. I understand that we're watching the boys grow up while Will feels different* and left behind, but surely there could have been more for Will to do? (*I'm not even gonna go into the queer subtext because it's way too much for this post.) Also, it's a goddamn shame that Will never gets to be in Hellfire and have Eddie as a DM. He'd have loved Eddie so fucking much.

I know how Nancy is treated at the newspaper is period accurate or whatever, but it sucks. She's such a hard worker, always out there researching and writing, and caring so, so deeply. I love her. She is constantly MVP. Glad they keep giving her guns.

Jonathan has lost some of his likeability, but I think there are a lot of interesting interplays between him, socioeconomic/class status, and Nancy. I totally get where he's coming from, and I think it says a lot about his character that he can admit when he's wrong.

Hive Mind Army isn't as creepy as anything we've seen before in the show because it's just like like... super cliche idk? I forgot they all turn to sludge to form the Flayer. The scene at the end of episode 6 where they just... melt... is kind of fucking horrifying though. Love that.

Mike gets more lackluster each season?

Lucas is funny and smart. I love him and Erica. I love him and Max. He's great.

Part of me wishes Dustin wasn't separated from the others, but Scoops Troop was so unexpected and works so well that I can't be mad.

It's kind of a joy to watch El come into herself more. I still would have liked more El/Will bonding but ya can't win them all. At least she gets Max, who also gets her own multifaceted personality this season too.

Murray last season was a non-event to me. Could take him or leave him. I vibe him this time around.

I remember loving Alexei. I was right to. God, his death sucked. It's almost like... hmm... no... almost... surely not... they... keep... they wouldn't... writing good goddamn characters and then kill them off instead of giving any real-life stakes to their plot-armored main cast?!?

I don't vibe Jopper as a ship this season.

Suzie demanding The NeverEnding Story in the middle of an emergency is the same energy as Eddie deciding the only way to distract the demobats was to play Master of Puppets on the trailer roof.

Every season ends with a time skip forward. I had forgotten that. Makes the season 4 one less weird.

Speaking of season 4... That's next, baby! I have re-watched it so many times but I'm doing it again, now armed with my brand new updated opinions and feelings! Yewwwwww. Here we go!

This has been a Stranger Things Rhi-Watch.

[apocketfullofpoesis]

I'm sorry if you're getting bullied or your hard work isn't being appreciated but in terms of you as a person you come off really judgemental, arrogant and rude. Even professors have to do chores and so do you. Being a topper doesn't make you a superior person. I'd rather be friends with a kind academic failure who whores themselves around than you for all your excellent grades. Be successful, know your own worth and don't dim your own light. But at the same time don't ram your success down others throats who aren't, can't be or don't want to be your intellectual equal. It takes all sorts to make the world go round. Confidence and humility are a tricky balance I know but you're going to up bitter and twisted with this mindset you're propagating

this is the problem with venting out on social media platforms. the very first line you apologized to me if I was being bullied and then you go on to contradict those lines yourself. i have a lot of friends, I am kind to each one of my batchmates (not just classmates), and keep helping them that's why I never complained about my friends in that rant. However there are some people in my family, and around the society i live in who blame their insecurities on my capabilities even if the two are far from being interrelated. the fact that you found me arrogant and rude bc i vented out my bottled up feelings, lowering my guard down speaks volumes why some people refrain from putting their views forward on the internet. I did not even get what you said about professors because mind you, my professors are very supportive to me and my classmates but there are some who are pure sadists and they constantly try to bring people like me down, who are academically good and focused. trust me.

Being a topper does not make me superior. Yes. Thank you for admitting it. That is another thing that people like you have stereotyped about us. But even if it does give some sort of peace to us, thinking we are actually good at something (re-read my post where I said this line) is there something wrong with that? There are people in my class who are super talented at dancing and singing and they feel superior to others because they're good at it. Theres nothing wrong with it. Similarly, if we feel superior because we can actually do good academically, why is that a concern? Some toppers are annoying, ngl. Do not generalize us. Unless some of us don't bully you and ask you to worship at our altar, why is that a bad thing? I will also give you a very common example. Some of my classmates still have a stage fear in even texting our professors and suggesting them changes in the schedule so they text us because they know we got this. I'll share a screenshot of a chat from today, in this reference:

regarding who you would rather be friends with, why would I care? you do you. I wrote it in frustration bc my friends are suffering and the entire semester I kept telling them that it's the final year and now they should at least try to get back on track. literally, these friends of mine follow me on Tumblr. They don't have issues because they know the context, so chill.

I am not ramming my success up anyone's throat. We're not in middle school ffs. In terms of success, i haven't even graduated yet. I don't consider myself successful so thanks to you if you do. That's one positive thing I'll take from your message. I don't bring anyone down in my process, i help them as much as I can. But it's of no use if they completely refrain from helping themselves. You really didn't get the point.

Lastly, I am not propagating my mindset. It seems to me that you are gullible if anything that I said influenced you to change your thoughts. For that I'd say, follow the advice you're giving to me because the world is crueler than the topper you're talking about lmao.

I wrote that rant because I feel that it goes unnoticed how nobody acknowledges the mental pressure that tags along with being a topper and this one time that I spoke about it, these are y'all's replies. Really stunned. But it also proved my point so it's alright <3.

edit:

I'd like to attach a meme based on yet another stereotyped notion and i kinda understand where you're coming from

DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT FEEDS TO YOUR WRONG VIEWS!

[melis-writes]

amber heard's turds are the worst. like, they no NOTHING about the trial, i see them on twitter constantly admitting to not having watched, saying she's a hero for hitting him etc. i'm convinced they only consist of a group of like 5 people who just has a ton of different accounts where they do nothing but spew incorrect "facts" because when you go out in the real (which i'm sure they don't) then everyone believes johnny because THEY WATCHED THE TRIAL! it's that fucking simple - no one who has actually watched it believes johnny is quilty because all the evidence points to turd.

like, i'm not even a depp stan, i watched it just because i'm into true crime and thought it would be interesting to see a trial in a live setting but obviously what i went away with from watching it is that clearly johnny was innocent based on the (lack of) evidence. so just forget these people, they're a waste of time just like their beloved leader turd.

Lmao Tw*tter is just a cesspool of sheer fucking stupidity and cringe, which is why I'll never touch it again or ever bother. I value my peace and sanity lol. 💀 No matter what, you're always going to get disgusting, hate filled people like this and I really don't care whether that stems from their morals/values or political beliefs or whatever, but there was a whole ass trial done in a fair court of law with shit unearthed from like 8+ years ago, all put out there and dissected to pieces by lawyers, witnesses, etc. 🫠

At this point, we all know the truth and what we saw. We watched the SAME trial, we saw the same information, so it's a blatant choice to be fucking braindead. 🫡 Nobody even has to be a Depp stan to understand real logic here. That common sense and comprehension flew out the window and was replaced by confirmation bias from the most insane shit possible. 🥴

I'm pretty sure we all have better, more productive things to do in our lives than stalk tags and fans for hours, write/send hate, death wishes, etc and base our entire personalities off of how unbearable we are unlike the turd stans because you know, doing that shit everyday isn't normal. 💀😭

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

[matchamenace]

I posted 880 times in 2022

That's 880 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (4%)

842 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bcyoureallthatmakessense

@dxncingwithastrxnger

@electricwalkman

@theamiableanachronism

@1980s-jean-ralphio

I tagged 648 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#fave - 71 posts

#fanart - 34 posts

#lovely mutuals - 31 posts

#matchamenace - 29 posts

#halloween - 26 posts

#matcha blogs! - 22 posts

#shane madej - 19 posts

#fall - 18 posts

#spooky season - 18 posts

#matcha asks! - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#everytime i think about him i get the weirdest mixture of joy and sadness and i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry and/or possibly vomit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Who is your stranger things tumblr bestie :)

Oh man I don't have just one bestie, but the peeps I'm closest to are probably:

@dxncingwithastrxnger

@bcyoureallthatmakessense

@claire-de-lune

@purpleangelsele

Of course there's plenty of other blogs I adore that I just haven't interacted with as much, but perhaps one day that'll change 😌

7 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#4

Got covid booster #2 this morning. Already starting to feel cruddy. 😭

8 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

MY DARK DASH IS BACK

OH THANK GOD- MINE TOO 😭 I don't know how I ever tolerated light mode in the past ahaksks

8 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#2

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Hopper

Murray

Steve

🥰😌

OH FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME CLAIRE??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

AHSHSJDJDJDK OKAY!! Kill Murray for sure (he's one of my least favorites, sorry not sorry 🙈) Fuck Hopper 😜, Marry Steve 😘

Ok this actually wasn't hard at all lmao. Just very telling... 👀

11 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Who are some of your favorite Mileven blogs and why? Let’s spread some positivity and smiles on this fine Friday🌻🐛🌼 then tag 3 other blogs to keep the smiles going.

Oh goodness!! Let's see here agsjsksksk

@dxncingwithastrxnger ABSOLUTE KING 👑🔥🔥🔥 Nothing but good vibes and the fluffiest fics and headcanons you'll ever read!! 🙌 They put SO much thought and care into their posts and are just such a pleasure to interact with 😋💕 Honestly my go-to if I'm looking for lighthearted, feel-good content. (ILY ALEX!!!!!!!! 👋)

@purpleangelsele ACTUAL CINNAMON ROLL ✨ (Sweet with a hint of spice 😎👉👉) Probably one of the friendliest people I've met online lol! Doesn't matter what I post, I can always count on Sel to give me some sort of engagement and I fkin love it!! 🤣 As for their content it's mostly fun and cute headcanons, but they definitely don't shy away from the occasional hot take or petty post 😌 Tons of personality. Great sense of humor. LOVE THEM!!! 💜💜💜

@mikes-pineapple-pizza Incredibly articulate and astute observations!! 🙌✨ Has a knack for breaking down a variety of ST topics (including, but not limited to Mileven) in a way that's intelligent, but also very chill and unpretentious. Idk. Their content just really speaks to me and I think they're super cool. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fr tho, this person could make a podcast just analyzing anything in the show and I would EAT IT UP!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

@claire-de-lune Ah man the duality of Claire.... 🤣🤣🤣 Deliciously petty, but simultaneously has some of the sweetest and unique headcanons to offer! 🥰 A VERY passionate Mileven defender who won't take shit from nobody, but an absolute delight to have on your side 😜💕

@lenorahills @fricchead @rllybritrlly @pumpkingface BITCHIN' ARTISTS!!! Each have such cute and unique illustration styles, and it's ridiculous how excited I get everytime they post new content asksksk 🙈💕 As an artist myself, I could not recommend them more 🙌

Anyway I think I'm gonna end descriptions here, but here's some other Mileven blogs I adore:

@truessences @teafiend @flamingfalcon3 @bcyoureallthatmakessense @pjo-fan17 @elsmike @crisperia @reganx2 @mikewheely

It definitely doesn't end there, but I'm feeling lazy today, so I sincerely apologize to anyone I might've excluded! I still love and appreciate you all!!! 😘

25 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theschizotypalsolilquy]

Thank you for the fics! I was able to find them all! I think I've read some of them before but didn't like them very much because I just can't stomach fics that are too violent, are basically just porn-with-plot and where Jimin is being extremely dehumanized.

I read After Hours at least once a week😭. This series is honestly the best, I've never read anything like it. I've also read In Your Eyes and Jungkook is so well-written here that I actually pitied him even though he was the "villain". I love how he needed Jimin so much and was gentle with him in a way.

I'm so excited about Black Rabbit. I have a good feeling about it, and I love that it's so heavy chaptered. Thank you!

LoL...yeah, there were a few dead doves I recommended.

And yes yes yes, I felt the same about JK in IN Your Eyes. I honestly believe that if he had gone about getting Jimin "the proper way", Jimin probably would have fallen for him organically, despite not being gay himself. Like he says at the end, he was so lonely and now he's not. At least we know he is safe, and that Jungkook really does love and care for Jimin. He just went about it the wrong way.

Black Velvet is so full of twists and turns, it's hard to know the good guys from the bad. Well, honestly, none of them are good Lmao. Just varying shades of gray. And I know it says infidelity in the tags, but it's really not at all how you might think. I think the author put it in there so nobody would bitch at them. But trust me....their relationship is extremely unconventional.

Slap Kiss has cheating too...during a flashback and you find out why JK did it. I don't like that he did it, but once you get to his point of view and his flashbacks, you understand why it was done. And despite the first chapter portraying Jimin as kind of weak, trust me...He's a firecracker. That was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but so many people wanted a follow-up, so the author added more chapters. And after the first chapter, Jimin is done with JK'S shit.

[kulemii]

Lover Pretend Ep. 1 Thoughts & Recap*

*(not professional by any means. some dialogue may be heavily paraphrased because i think i'm funny and i make my mama laugh*.)

Potential Spoilers Ahead

well, i've met all of the potential love interests and just as i thought from my intial card reading, my interest lies in: eiichirou, riku and yukito. no beef with the other two they just aren't my type! though, i will say, so far i do think that kazuma is a sweetheart. if you haven't read my thoughts on each character from the prologue you can check them out in the kulemiiplaysloverpretend tag.

with that out of the way, i can start rambling about episode 1! so, i wanted to write as i went along but i started super late at night and wound up falling asleep. i probably forgot some shit but i'm gonna try to hit on what stood out to me most, okay? then the rest i'll do as i go along as planned!

this chapter we followed mc and eiichirou asagi to her first day at the studio as an official staff member of "team makino". she introduces herself to two new characters (supporting cast, and actually quite literally supporting cast-- i'll get to that):

takaya hanai (40)- he's popular for being a supporting actor and never really main cast- crazy but go off king. i'm not shaming. i just thought that was funny thing to specify lmao. so, takaya is HUGE. like, his sprite is larger than everyone else's and if you know anything about me, that's right up my alley. he's super light hearted and playful. he seems like the type to try to keep spirits high and keep a cheery attitude. he's cool. he made a comment about having of money tho. and i'm like, you fine ass hell. don't make me run your pockets old man. as it stands rn, i would be his sugar baby and not care nothing bout it- MOVING ON

yuzo makino (52)- he's the director everyone's been dickriding since we started playing this game. he's got ALL the accolades apparently. i like his voice. he seems very no nonsense. he's super blunt and to the point with all of his lines. i'll be honest, he sooo.. he seems to be the type to not speak if it's not necessary to do so? because like, there have been times where i deadass forgot he was even IN THE SCENE he was that quiet. he seems to be very professional. he told mc he values her opinion and i thought that was dope because she's literally just a nobody staffer and he doesn't seem to want to treat her like that. perhaps because she's got asagi backing her? go off, sis!

so, now that i've mentioned them, i can tell you about how after meeting these two harumi tiptoes his ass in the room not wanting to speak to anybody and takaya puts him in a headlock for it LMAO. no joke.

then forces him to introduce himself to mc whilst in said headlock. oh! by the way, i completely forgot to mention, i wasn't sure before if mc was one of eiichirou's students or not- well, mc introduces herself as such. so, if it wasn't confirmed before, it certainly is now 😬

annnnnyway, after the headlock, takaya decides to shove the two kids (harumi and mc) out of the door on their first team makino staff mission: secure snacks.

and girl, tell me why 😭 tell me why mc ass was like "u-um.. snacks?? is that some kinda industry lingo?🤡" and harumi was like, "bruh nah, it's snacks. like snacks. tf ?"

oh but before i get to what happened outside, there was something about harumi i peeped that i wanted to mention! when speaking about his father, he refers to him as "Director Makino". both me and mc was like ???

idk, so, harumi seems kinda weird about his dad. riku also seems to have something going on with his dad? mc doesn't know her father! i'm getting ahead of myself but yukito's father and mother divorced when he was in junior high and his dad left him behind with his mother. idk nothing about eiichirou's or kazuma's dads yet but shit they prolly gone too and hell, my dad's dead! so, i pulled out my whiteboard, ran the numbers (by hand, mind you) and found out that THIS, this is the daddy issues game! COME ONE, COME ALL! lmaooo

where was i? ...oh! right, so, we go to the convienence store or whatever to secure the snacks and harumi and mc have The Most Loser ass interaction. they're so funny. honestly, i think making fun of them is gonna be the highlight of this game for me- if my posts are ever found by someone that likes harumi, sorry babe lmao. so basically it went like this:

H: hey, can i have the drinks?

Mc: what? no. if you're thirsty you should've gotten your own when we were in the store 🙄

H: K.

MC: *internally* omg, he wanted to CARRY THE BAGS!!!!

MC: *to harumi* earlier, you wanted to carry the bags, didn't you?

H: it doesn't matter anymore! (now carrying the bags)

MC *internally* he's nice and all but he should really work on his communication skills 🤓

GIRL! you should work on your critical thinking skills! lmao why didn't you just ask him what he meant??? why you had to grill his ass about being thirsty??? like damn 😭 wild interaction

right, so, she goes into another store or whatever and i forgot to mention that while they were walking, something apparently caught harumi's eye? so while she was in there, he dips without shooting her a message or anything to let her know where he went. when she comes out she's like ??? and LMAO she had, i think, two assumptions on what might've happened; either 1) he got tired of waiting and went back to the studio without her or 2) saw an elderly person walking (i think with heavy stuff) and went to help them. idk that was funny, like you're IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY why is that your only two options? she just assumed ol' dude is a good samaritan. haha. good for her, though. that's that pure hearted heroine shit, front and center.

well, she was WRONG. poor harumi and is being SWARMED by snakes! lmao, jk, it's worse than that, it's some thirsty bitches from this unofficial fanclub that's like obsessed with him and can't take a hint. they're all in his shit and won't leave him alone. so, mc swoops in to save the day! PRETEND TIME, BABY! if you read my prologue posts, you know, idk how routing works yet, and you also know that i do not have interest in harumi- needless to say, i did not want this to go well. i was just concerned with not giving these girls the impression that harumi and mc were dating.

like, one of them implied that if they were she'd have been STABBED by his fanclub or something???? WHUUUUUT? knifed???😭over HARUMI 👎🏾👎🏾HNNHG!

luckily i managed to pull through and mc got out with the exact amount of holes she came in with. so, she should thank me for that. then, she and harumi walked back in silence-- couldn't have been me though because i would've had QUESTIONS! because um SIR what these bitches mean, i would've been stabbed????

after they return with the snacks, they get down to business- business being looking over the resumes and then we see a couple familiar (beautiful) faces.

turns ooout, riku actually was an actor on Pretend to Love himself when he was a child alongside his father.

despite being a model whose only acting experience is limited to comic relief and cameos, yukito has name recognition by way of his father. though, it would seem that his name isn't associated with the cleanest of reputations. they call his dad a philanderer LMAO. guess that apple don't fall too far from the tree. director makino says that they even look alike, which scares me because yukito is hot. so an older version of that must be TO DIE for 🤤. i get stabbed by a fanclub over that. i will say though, although they called his daddy a hoe, they did give him his flowers and say that he was good at what he does and it was a shame he left the industry..

side note: why all the slutty boys gotta be february babies? at least they didn't make it so on the nose that they made his bday valentine's day lmaoo (i'm look at you, jinguuji)

because of the appearance of these two, mc started thinking about her MIA father again. she's not good at hiding it i guess because it got the attention of both asagi and the director. it was at this point that they asked if she was interested in anyone. i was given the choice of riku, yukito, harumi OR "no one in particular". curiosity got the best of me, so i made a save file and then chose that option to see what would happen and then, she wound up thinking of kazuma.

sooo, if i have to guess, this is where it branches off into routes? and where i choose? with that likely assumption being at the forefront, i backtracked and chose riku!

after doing so, hanai mentioned that riku had been trending lately and asagi followed up by saying that of the candidates, riku might've been the most fit option given that the director even knows of him. the meeting is adjourned. everyone goes home. eiichirou and mc have a bit of a moment, i suppose? we get a time skip!

basically, it's the day of the big audition and we get a scene between harumi and mc and i won't go into specifics about what was said because nothing really interesting happened except it does establish that harumi's has opened up more to her which is cool. also, we get this moment:

when i say, took me out-- it's not funny but like, at the same time, i was not expecting that kinda language here lmao

at some point after this, the camera man starts barking orders for someone to go and grab a tripod for him. harumi offers to do it but he's not very firm (is he ever?) and mc decides to do it herself. while she's out in the hall looking for the tripod she hears a familiar voice. this guy:

kazuma! and he and mc have a really cute moment~ ya know after he tells her, "damn b, you look like a ghost. you sick or something???" he pulls her to the side and he does her makeup for her. we get some background info- apparently this isn't his first time doing her make up. mc tends to struggle with her finances so, he would practice doing her hair and makeup at "huge" discounts and stuff. mc was being all bashful but listen, if it were me?? i wasn't even into kazuma but with the tone of voice he was using?? i would've folded HAHA i would have 😭i'm sorry bout it. it was too sweet.

nah, i say that but when given the opportunity to respond to the moment, i chose the harsher option because again- routing. annnnnd that somehow turned into mc beating on him?? lmao! she even thought he looked cool but she got embarassed and responded with abuse. sooo, that's a great look. 👍🏾👍🏾 ok, girlie, tsundere much?

ah, a little note, kazuma referred to her as "ueda-senpai" now that they're technically colleagues which i thought was super cute!

then we meet kazuma's actual senpai- she's a baddie. when girls have beauty marks on their face>>>>>>>>>:

yu kayama (27)- she was kazuma's senior in cosmetology school. she's one of the bosses at their agency and i guess kind of a hotshot? she's super hard on kazuma. she be beating his ass too. he's not getting it easy with the women in his life, i'll tell you that. she's mean af to him but she was really nice to mc. could be because she's a makino staffer but could also be because she's just a kazuma hater? i'll be watching on the sidelines with the shades on to get to the root of this. yu and mc seemed to hit it off really quick though. wanna see more of that. girlfriends when?

after this interaction, mc's break is over and she's sent out on another errand where she runs into none other than~

mr. yukita seeeeena with his hot girl shades on! mc mistakes him for a salesman of some kind and tries to blow him off but just as she walks away, she realizes that she recognizes him. so she asks for confirmation and he's actually shocked that she knows who he is... this is like the second time he's seemingly shocked about being acknowleged. idk why but that piques my interest, so i'm sticking a pin in that 📌.

anyway, turns out homeboy just wanted directions- not sell her a vase or carpet or whatever she said lmao. her assumptions about people are so funny. yeah, so, conveniently yukito is lost and looking for directions to the studio that mc just so happens to work at! he's on his way to the auditions that are being set up.

okay, so, sidebar-- this part kinda irritated me. so, mc says:

"If I recall correctly, he was on the list of candidates who passed the screening."

and let me tell you why that bothered me: she's been OBSESSING over his father for god knows how long. her heart damn near stopped when she saw his resume that first day and like, sure, i am aware she's been busy- but i find it hard to believe that she wouldn't be keeping a close eye on one of the characters who is so very close to the mystery that been plaguing her since childhood. sorry, not to nitpick and i'm not trying to rag on our girl but that was just a gripe i have to get off my chest. i dont like that. 👎🏾👎🏾hnng.

back to this, so, yukito asks for directions with the promise of some unspoken reward and mc's like, sure, uhhh, don't need whatever that is but i can take you bestie. while they're walking yukito is whining about his manager flaking on him because he got sick and mc is being kinda dry with him- which, girl, ??? you didn't like that when harumi was being cold to you. why are you suddenly incapable of small talk?? didn't like that either.👎🏾👎🏾hnng.. she deduces that yukito is "flippant" all the while gets it going with her staring problem again- this time with him AND THIS TIME, I GET IT! when yukito asks what's up she tells him he has a nice profile and he's like, "uh ya babe lol i know 💅🏻 this is me all day no filter" like...

he took off his shades and then THIS HAPPENED

and i'm just telling you right now.. IF IT WERE ME???? I WOULD HAVE FOLDED LIKE A LAWN CHAIR. but that's just me though. i don't got time to be befuddled like this, okay? he looks like he smells like sauvage by dior- i've never smelled that shit but it sounds like it smells like panties around the ankles and manicured hands on the wall, alright??? i want him, right now. LESSGO!

uhhhhh? oh! so she's like, "my guy?? what is you doing??" and he's like, "lol, what's it look like? thanking you, you silly billy 💞 so what'll it be? autograph, handshake and hug sound good for your troubles?"

mc is freaking out internally because he's all up on her and she's not really good with dealing with men. she wanted to slap him but she remembered her job, so she didn't and i was prompted to respond. now, remember: i want this man. so i chose what i thought was the best option for once lmao which was "decline politely"

this confuses yukito and he's like, "waaah? so you don't want none of that? and you know i'm famous? but... you went out of your way to help me? and you kept staring at my face?" (that last part is not me paraphrasing to be funny lmao he actually said that) he thought that because she did all those things she MUST have been a fan.

mc was like, "nah bruh. i was literally JUST doing my job. not personal interest. stop being weird." there was a silence between then yukito burst out laughing and was basically like "damn b, there's a such thing as being too honest but you funny tho. i'll give you that."

after that, it's time for the auditions! oh man, this chapter is long- idk if it's because i keep stopping to update this recap or if this chapter is vastly longer than the prologue was but damn, does it just keep going. i mean, i'm not really complaining. just an observation.

director makino is out btw and from what i took from the conversation, this is going to be a regular occurence. he's just too busy of a man to be on set of his own movie, i suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so, asagi is heading up the operation with resident supporting cast sexy man takaya hanai assisting by acting or reading along with the auditionees. we get to see little snippets of some randos' auditions all the way up until candidate number 21 which isssss:

you guessed it and his appearance caused a bit of a stir amongst the panel. can you sayyyy dick riding?

apparently because he's an experienced actor unlike the last 20 candidates so far, director makino has different rules for him and others like him. those rules being that he isn't able to perform his audition with hanai, he must perform with an amateur. with this being the stipulation, hanai looks around the room and who does he choose? none other than:

me.

that lead us to a riku Pretend Time and the objective was to 'bring out riku's acting prowess' or something like that. listen, i REAAAALLY wanted this to work out. so this was the first pretend time i actually took seriously and what do you know? ya gworl got a 100% complete! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE! they've only ever said 'success' before lmao. so i guess i was just barely skirting by. his pretend time was soooo good! it had me on the edge of my seat getting to see him in actor mode! he did really well- all thanks to me 💅🏾ofc

after that was number 22, mr. yukito sena sans sunglasses. and chile, when i tell youuuu. the judges started gossiping like bitches omg. they were running their mouths amongst themselves about his father's scandal. saying stuff about how he's only there to generate buzz basically but they're sure the director wouldn't choose him. stuff like that. and i will bust up in that building with a bat. so they better take it easy on that one and treat my pretty baby with some respect before i force feed them metal.

oh, so, you know how i keep mentioning how yukito is a model with limited acting experience? well, it comes up at the audition. remember what i said about experienced actors, right? they perform with an amatuer while inexperienced ones got to have takaya hanai as an audition partner? well, when hanai was setting up to give him the run down, yukito interrupted and suggested his own rules.

he wanted to audition with mc as well. and everyone's like "uhhh???? you sure you wanna follow riku's performance by doing THAT?" and yukito's like,"lol, well. i know my performance is not gonna match up to his but i'm sure i get more pussy than he does. so it should be fine i guess.😘" and everyone just accepts his logic because picking up girls= acting in Lover Pretend apparently!

don't believe me?

so then, we get our very own yukito sena Pretend Time! i was super excited for this one and just like riku, i took it very seriously! I EVEN GOT ANOTHER 100% COMPLETE!!! it was so fun- he was a fucking psycho in his audition. he basically began by casually but vaguely talking about meeting mc out in town and then used that as a jumping off point to create a dramatic love confession scene out of it. he stressed her tf OUT! to the rest of the room they were acting, internally, she felt sexually harassed which made me feel bad lowkey because i was eating it up lmaooo. by the end of the scene asagi and hanai were happy with it and the other judges reluctantly gave him his flowers.

after the scene ends, mc is discombulated because she really thought he was trying to humilate her in front of everyone but he really was just acting. i guess he just knew he'd get authentic reactions out of her? yukito delivered some more lines to break my joints and then he returns to his seats and mc is left more confused than ever.

there's yet another scene between mc and harumi where not much happens. i mean, this isn't just my bias speaking. nothing interesting happened. like, asagi sent him out to check on mc and he did then they sat there in mostly silence and he didn't leave when she said he could. aww. great. moving on. oh, i won't be mean. there was a mention of feeling as if he doesn't belong by harumi which i'm sure we'll explore at some point later. so. i guess i lied? something did happen.

in the next scene, mc trips on something in a stairwell- it's a boy! a pretty one at that.

i was given the choice to or not to wake him. (he talks in his sleep btw) i woke him. they had a little chit chat in which she scolded him for sleeping on the stairs because he could catch a cold. it's a short interaction and honestly the only reason i'm really mentioning it aside from the cg is because mc says that she swears that he glared at her as he walked away despite him being perfectly pleasant while they interacted just before. i thought that was hilarious bc why would he glare? was he mad bc she woke him up or is hiding a secret personality? i'm intrigued! >:D

after all was said and done at work, she and kazuma walk home together and during this time, mc finally confirms what i'd been theorizing was the angle being hinted at here. amongst the LIs might also potentially be her brother.... bro :/ when she was riku's audition partner and she suggestion he play her long lost brother i joked to myself that it was "a little on the nose" but i was really hoping that this was a case where i'd be wrong- nope.

i've really been enjoying this game so far! i really have but now with this, it's kinda making me wanna put it down. granted, it's too soon to tell which direction this is going to go. there's a possibilty that amongst the three candidates, none of the men she's thinking of is her father and it's actually some rando she'll never find and lowkey, that's what i'm hoping for. or, if that's not the case, that whichever of the guys IS her brother, if he is amongst them, the route is entirely platonic turned familial but... i know what kinda game i'm playing. idk man. i'm kinda bummed. i don't like this lol fingers crossed this ends well.

ALL IN ALL: since nothing is for sure and all i can really do is theorize on how things will go and how the writing will handle it, i'm going to try and have hope that things turn around for the better since this was only chapter 1! i mean, up until the wrap up, i was reaaaaaally enjoying myself. i'd been seeing a ton of potential here. so, it bums me out to think that it's something i won't be able to enjoy because it's going in that direction. i wanna give it a chance to prove me wrong.

opinions of certain characters have changed since the prologue. i'm a little more into kazuma than i thought i'd be. idk, that make up scene was precious. i feel bad i got him beat up though. i still find riku attractive but his personality feels very.... fake, to me. it's like he's got this wall up as if he's ON all the time, constantly attempting to keep up a facade of perfection. if that's true, i reaaaally need to see what's behind that. if that's really what he's like, then.. idk. maybe i'll give him more time before i say much. yukito was the star of his chapter for me tho! everything he did had me 🥰 i am ENAMOURED. eiichirou is still attractive to me but i just wish he wasn't mc's professor. who knows maybe i'll make her drop his class or something idk. as far as side characters go, hands down, takaya!!! uogh baby he is just my type! big, burly AND HE'S GOT LONG HAIR? love his personality too. that's one hunka man. my truth? if he were an LI, i might've picked him over eiichirou. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops.

anyway, soooo yeah! those were my thoughts for episode one of lover pretend! this was super fun and hopefully i can keep playing and keep doing these. it's super time consuming but it keeps my mind busy which is just what i need right now. if this manages to find anyone- feel free to share your thoughts on this chapter of the game or the characters or whatever! but please don't spoil the chapters ahead. i don't wanna lose interest.

*she does not make her mother laugh

[pretty-little-martyr]

hi I'm sorry if this is. idk awkward but I saw your tags on that post about changing how people talk about getting gynecologic care and you might want to look into vaginismus. It's a condition that causes those muscles to tighten up often very painfully anytime any sort of penetration is attempted. Physical therapy, dilators and muscles relaxers can help but ofc its something that should be discussed with a doctor to make sure you're getting the correct treatment. ALSO! You can request laughing gas for pap smears and other invasive gyno procedures. It is something they do. Usually if you tell them any insertion at all is extremely painful it'll be offered but if not you can ask for it. Some places might be able to do full sedation but I think that'd just depend on the facilities since that would require an anesthesiologist as well

and also vaginismus is like extremely super common (iirc at least 20% of people with vaginas experience it at some point in their lives) the problem is just that nobody talks about it because well. Society. this is not something abnormal or wrong with you in a bad way, it's just a medical condition that you happen to have and need accommodations for. if that helps at all

hey thank you for reaching out fr, it's not weird at all! ive been trying to figure out if it's that or just general "pelvic floor problems" whatever that entails. im getting HRT/gender care from Planned Parenthood these days, and they have told me i would Have to get another exam/smear next year (which i am terrified about tbqh) and they've mentioned they'd give me something or other to help, probably laughing gas like you've said (which ive never actually had).

i did tell that gyno that i'd never put anything in me and that even tampons were horribly painful, and their reaction was to act like i was crazy and lying and that never happens to anybody lmao the woman literally stared at me as if she was waiting for me to say 'haha just kidding' and asked me like 3 times over if i was sure i was a virgin at my big age (21 at the time). even after i was crying and bleeding and having a panic attack they were incredibly apathetic towards me. so! yeah. to be quite honest i'm not interested in dilators or physical therapy--not to knock them, i just want my whole shit removed, so why put in that effort and (probably) gain new trauma from putting things in me, yknow? the mere concept kinda makes me ill. im considering looking into surgery sometime soon-ish. my family might lose their shit about it, but, i dont think they can stop me now that i live by myself, and unless their insurance blocks it, i should be good to go on that.

anyway. id be so down to get fully sedated for it. put me under for like 30 minutes to get all that shit done and i dont have to be present for it or acknowledge it at all thanks. also might help in general, if the muscle tightening is something semi-voluntary/if that even is my issue. ive also considered if i just have a very small hole. i think thats referred to as a neovagina? i dunno.

i really appreciate these asks <3 very kind of you and. somehow i did not really register the potential of asking a different doctor about their thoughts on it i guess ASDFGHJK i just sort of. the initial event was traumatizing enough i still sometimes have nightmares, which is super dope, and remembering it too hard makes me feel very violated, so really i try not to talk about it so much. i was super fucking stoned last night, is probably why i even left those tags jhgvbhnjkm.

tldr thank you for your kindness and i am really hoping my next exam will feature me either Unconscious or Off My Ass On Laughing Gas Or Something. if theres some chance i HAVE to keep my equipment rather than getting surgery i may genuinely look into therapies just for my own convenience but beyond that i just really ... really do not want any items up in there.

[payidaresque]

so i know i'm annoying and i've said it like bazillion times before, and i'm pretty sure not many ppl wanna hear this again, and i'm not even really sure why i'm posting this but i'm already irritating enough, so what the hell. this is kinda long so putting this under the cut

those of u who follow me long enough know how active i am in pushing my... aziz agenda lmao. and i have no intentions to stop anytime soon. and i know that it's really nobody's buisiness cause hey, everyone love what they love, blah blah blah, we know dasha, MOVE ON. but i feel the need to explain the reason WHY this happens to me still, almost A YEAR after the show got unfairly cancelled, and why my aziz era persists still to this day, probably the longest out of any fandom i've ever been a part of (or thought i am a part of)

the reason is, this show helped me to get through some very tough times, such as dissapearance of my best friend, and some family issues, and there are many other, deeply personal reasons as to why i connect with it and its characters so much, of which i'm not ready to talk about online. which brings us to our next conclusion

i will not tolerate any hate towards this show. like none. zero. nada. any hate at all. and yes, i know every piece of media has haters, cause hey, some ppl seem to love hating stuff (i mean, it's internet, and it's tumblr dot com, are we even surprised?), and many other fav shows of mine has haters, and any person has an opinion and they are entitled to it (tho "hate" and "opinion" are two VERY different things but whatever) but due to the fact that i connect to aziz on a deeply personal level, i will tolerate no such thing towards this particular piece of media

therefore, if i see any shit about the show, such as "glad the show's cancelled", "this show is so bad" etc etc or if i see some bullshit in the tags of my aziz sets, that is like the fastest and the most easy way to get your ass permanently blocked. to be even more clearer — i never lied about the fact that my love for this show is bigger than for any other shows i ever watched. i don't care about opinions. i don't want to see it, and i will NOT see it

another thing, if you're not comfortable with me posting aziz, or not comfortable with frequency witch which i do so, please, either unfollow me or block the tag. for both our sakes and comfort.

and i mean, don't get me wrong — you can hate on the show all u want. just not within my reach

[papirouge]

Radfem gossip n menalez be talking bout u girl..

LMAO again??

last time I checked, Menalez was telling I was an homophobe and there was one confession about me which was from a delusional Kpop stan mad at me because I said Kpop idols were going to hell lmaooooo

Many radfem are hysterical neet thriving in drama so I'm so surprised they're seeking to beef with a nobody like me, but I'm very surprised none of them went off in my posts' notes - which they usually do🥴

I made one quite popular post recently stating how disgusting radfem were for defending Black abortion when its rate is higher than any other demographics, and yet, not a single sassy radfem acting up in the notes💀 ....maybe that's bc they know my concern is valid, and since they don't have anything to put up with my arguments, they just seethe in their echo chambers/gossip blogs LMAO

Same thing happened lately about the "Hitler was Christian" radfem psyop LOL I commented in the notes of another radfem spreading this misinformation that it was untrue and provided a quote from Hitler's own biographer's displaying his hatred for the German churches and...she didn't reply lmao

Here's the thing anon : most radfem will pride themselves into being the most politically educated and fairest of us all, but actually be the most hypocrites ever. Watch them straight up ignore fair point thrown at their narrative such as asking why some choices women do were okay to criticize (make up, shaving), while others weren't (abortion)? or Why claiming to care for black women while siding for an entire industry openly marketing abortion towards Black women, achieving what racialist eugenicist never achieved to do? 🥴 (if anyone is interested, I exposed their hypocrisy in my #radfem receipts tag)

but suuuure, pro lifers are the racist ones for...... wanting to prevent Black people....being murdered in the womb?🤔

[surrealsunday]

Jaime, hey! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your profile in kinnporsche tag, like my favourite Elu ficwriter is also into KinnPorsche? What a luck! Really, it's like meeting an old good friend. Btw, Tempo and Mood Tattoo are my two warm blankets I like wrapping myself in when I'm in a certain mood. Never written it here, only on ao3, but thanks for these masterpieces. And about KinnPorsche, I see you're enjoying it a great deal, right?) Just out of curiosity - do you have a favourite character in this couple or you love Kinn and Porsche equally?) For me, f.e., Elu was the only ship where I loved both of them very much, couldn't be angry with any of them even if they did some stupid things. Eliott was the sweetest guy on the planet and Lucas was such a menace but I just adored him because how couldn't I. But Elu is an exception for me, in other ships I always had a favourite guy. In case of KinnPorsche it's definitely Kinn cause just... he's so broken, so messy, he's dealing with so much shit in his life yet he has such a big heart and loves Porsche so much that I'm just drowning in his feelings. And also Mile, oh gosh, he's sooo good, can't believe it's his first bl (mine too, btw :)). And as for Porsche, he has lots of good traits too, for sure, but for some reason I feel more empathy for Kinn than him. So, what about you and your favourites?) Again, so glad to see you in KinnPorsche fandom :) good to see a familiar face here, especially when all the angst and drama are only coming :)

This is so nice?!!! I'm so glad you messaged <333! And I akdjfakdsjf at you calling Tempo and Mood Tattoo blankets. That is such a lovely compliment. 

I also freaking love this question. It was super fun to think about - especially because Kinn and Porsche are currently occupying 98% of my brain. With couples I really love, I tend to love them both even when they are being total fuckups (kinda live for the fuckups if I'm honest because I'm an angst whore). That was definitely true for Elu. But I will also have one character who just *gets* to me a little more. Like they're *mine*. Maybe because I relate to them more, or maybe because something in their personality is a trait I adore/ recognize/ like... any of the above. In KinnPorsche that is for sure Porsche. I adore Kinn too and honestly he's a pretty perfect prototype for the fucked up, tortured characters I tend to live and breathe for. And so, I totally agree that the broken, messy, desperate way he goes about life and falling in love with Porsche is soul destroying and I love him so much for it. I also love the duality of the man. I loved episode 6 so much for this reason - getting to see unfiltered, unburdened Kinn. Like it's no wonder Porsche was totally enamored. Kinn was cute af. And I just really love how his cuter/ softer/ more vulnerable tendencies with Porsche are balanced (and sometimes opposed) to his colder, BAMF mafia self. And like you, I love how he loves Porsche. I love that Porsche is his undoing, and I love the way he delights in coming apart for him. I just really love his joy when it comes to Porsche. And I love the way Porsche brings him peace. 

Ok but I didn't mean to wax poetic about Kinn. We're supposed to be talking about my love of Porsche here lmao. So Porsche... first and foremost, he's a brat. Like a menace of the highest order. I am and always will be the biggest sucker for a character like that (at least when well developed and embodied by the right actor). It reminds me a little of when I worked with kids in after-school care, and the little boys who were the biggest pains in their teachers asses - like the biggest troublemakers alive - would always steal my heart and become my best buddies. That's likely at least part of why I see Porsche and think about tucking him in my pocket and keeping him forever (nobody tell Kinn). I love so much all his bratty tendencies and I love that he put them on full display from the get-go. One of my favourite things about him is the way he doesn't back down and never diminished himself or who he was for Kinn. Sure, at the beginning, he was new and didn't have the lay of the land. But it's months later that he's still mouthing off to Kinn left and right and I just love that for him and me (clearly Kinn 100% loved this as well). And I am most especially done for when it comes to the side of Porsche we're seeing because he's fallen in love with Kinn. Watching this cocky, bratty, confident little shit be so desperately vulnerable, so loving and achingly sweet... watching the way he wants to take care of Kinn (vs the way he's had to take care of the people in his life, all while knowing that Kinn is more than capable of taking care of himself)... it all completely kills me. So yeah... I suppose he's my fave.

But I am all for the way they both have and will continue to fuck up. I very much don't want or need my faves to be perfect. I love when things get messy and angsty and these two do it better than anyone.

And on that note... excuse to list my fave/ underrated (only because there are so many delightful bratty Porsche moments these get lost in the fray) Porsche-as-a-menace moments aka. why I (and Kinn) were completely fucked from the get-go (screencaps because I can't make gifs... rip me):

Porsche kicking Ken

Listen. This moment was the moment for me. The moment I knew I was completely done for and would absolutely love Porsche. (Side note: the look on Kinn's face adkjfadsjkf... he was just as amused).

Are you a God?

This is a little less brat than it is just being a mouthy little fucker but I love. I love that Porsche wasn't ever afraid to challenge Kinn. I love that from the start he was established as a polar opposite to someone like Big (aka. Kinn worshipper). And I love that challenging Kinn is something he continues to do (and something Kinn really needed in a partner imo). Side note: Big's offended face in the background lmaoooo.

Stand up

This whole scene really. This is a 'Porsche's nature is to make Kinn's life difficult' kind of scene and the interaction between them is so normal at this point that I think how different it is gets lost. Like Kinn walking in and telling Porsche to stand. I keep comparing that in my mind to the way the other bodyguards leap to their feet during the awkward post-spa lunch. And then when Kinn tells Porsche to take his shirt off Porsche just outright refuses. Like, yeah, he gives in (while looking annoyed and confused the whole time). But that initial 'no'? Like anyone else would dare say that to Kinn...

Bonus: Spitting fruit all over Kinn

Let's be real... all of episode 6 is Porsche being the most hilarious, adorable brat in the world. None of it is underrated but I had to include this moment because it cracked me up so much and I just really wanting to include one brat moment where the two of them were in their little bubble. The fact that Porsche really waits for Kinn to genuinely panic and stick his fingers into Porsche's mouth?? All so Porsche can laugh and spit all over him? Shut up I love so much. And Kinn's 'I hope you choke on it'? Listen. I'm snorting just typing that. I love them.

Ok this got hella long. It's my nature but I should really stop. Keep chatting with me though! Especially when the serious drama hits. We will need to discuss.

[moririki]

↷ 📦 ↶ MORI'S 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT!

heya!!! so recently i've hit the milestone of 100 followers, and i'd just like to say thank you so much! i'm so honoured that i've reached this so quick and i'm glad that you guys like the stuff i write :))

so uh. i have decided to celebrate it! with a prompt list. hopefully this doesn't flop (if it does let's just pretend i never posted this lmao) and yeah that's about it. there's a few rules n stuff, but other than that happy requesting! and once again, thank you guys so much i love you all <33333

UPDATE: tHank you so much to the ppl who requested!!! i had so much fun with this event and i'll be sure to do more in the future!

(THIS EVENT IS NOW CLOSED)

⊱┊RULES!

i. i intend to have a deadline for the event (though nothing's set in stone) so try to send a request before july 23rd if you want to participate in the event! please note that this prompt list can still be used after the event finishes, though requests will not be prioritised

ii. unfortunately, current series (kiss list) and outstanding requests will have to be put on hold, as the event will take priority

iii. the regular rules for the content that i write still apply to this event, and i will only write for characters that are found on my masterlist however, my understanding of the characters that i write for are of varying levels so i can't guarantee that everything i write will be of the same quality

iv. regular requests are still open while the event takes place if you want to stick to a more traditional format however, these will not be prioritised by me and will most likely not be written until i finish the requests from this event

v. you can request as many times as you want with as many characters as you want drabbles & preferences are welcome! please keep this character x reader, though

vi. if you want your request to be a specific genre (smut, angst, fluff etc) please make that clear when you request

vii. nsfw content is permitted in this event, so take care if you do not wish to see it and let me know in your request if you are against it being used as a smut prompt all nsfw content will be tagged as such, and will have a read more tag

viii. when making a requests, just send me a number and a character then i will do my thing >:) to make things easier for me please do fill out these criteria, and any other details that you may want included

⊱┊PROMPTS!

"i won't let you do this alone"

"let me bandage you up"

"come here, i'll carry you"

"is something wrong?"

"stay with me"

"hold me. please"

"you're the first person i think about when i wake up"

"i would go anywhere with you"

"no one has ever made me feel like this"

"i missed you... a lot"

"come back soon"

"i'll never forget you"

"you're overworking yourself... please take a break"

"i didn't make you uncomfortable, did i?"

"what happened to you?!"

"i'm sorry"

"i love waking up next to you"

"we can look out for each other"

"you don't have to pay me back"

"can i give you a hug? you look upset"

"i'm yours"

"how much did you drink?"

"i asked if you were having a party. i didn't tell you to have a party"

"this is the opposite of what i told you to do"

"how did you get in here?"

"you owe me a kiss"

"that's not even fair"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"detention? again?"

"why don't you just go?"

"it doesn't matter any more"

"don't lie to me"

"why do you keep bringing it up?"

"maybe in another world"

"i can't do anything right"

"nobody's seen you in days"

"why are you awake?"

"i told you not to fall in love with me"

"is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

"i think you might be my soulmate"

"sleep over? please?"

"are we on a date right now?"

"quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

"could you please.... oh, i don't know, maybe put a shirt on?"

"aren't we supposed to be working?"

"i'm telling you, i'm haunted"

"what do you mean they're my new partner? they tried to kill me last week!"

"i could punch you right now"

"i'll feel much better if you let me walk you home"

"apparently, all of our friends have a bet going that we'll end up together"

"i don't know how to exist in a world without you"

"i don't know who you are any more"

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it!"

"seeing you between my legs is so hot"

"the noises you make are incredible"

"bite your lips once more, i dare you"

"god i love your hands" "let's put them to good use, then"

"i know you can be louder than that"

"never trust a man whose smile steals the breath from your lungs"

"sorry, is that supposed to impress me?"

⊱┊THIS EVENT'S WORKS!

pushing the limits - tsukishima kei

a bloodstained confession - rengoku kyojuro

a moment of vulnerability - miyuki kazuya

beautiful boy - kawakami norifumi

more than you'd bargain for - denji

a devil, then a man - denji

a giver - denji

beyond words - inumaki toge

finish what you started - miyuki kazuya

observant, as always - miyuki kazuya

take a look at the menu - ,, 📦 ·˚ ༘ ꒱