#nobody cares about how you do your eyeliner we clicked for you to explain something without making people feel bad for looking it up

[llitchilitchi]

tiktok and short-but-not-short-enough content was a mistake I will never forgive the internet for turning tutorial videos into “watch me do my makeup routine while I vaguely and passive-aggressively explain something that would make much more sense to show“

[bakugohoex]

Awww I missed out on NSFW #10 that suck 😭

Anyways, super congrats on 1k!! You totally deserve it!!! Could you maybe possibly do NSFW #3 with Monoma from MHA??

“who ruined you, go on, say my name?”

pairing: neito monoma x female reader

cw: language, nsfw (choking, spit play, kissing, unprotected sex, nipple play, hickies, degradation, praise, semi-public sex, finger sucking)

word count: 1700+

a/n: neito is so hard to write, like i don’t even know if i characterised him right, but i just made him hella protective and coy, bruh please if someone knows how to write this man please inform me

summary: in which after an encounter with your ex boyfriend, monoma makes sure that everybody in the restaurant knows who you belong too

1k event masterlist

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

He hated it, hated how you spoke to your ex at the restaurant so freely. Hated how your ex’s hand lingered across your own, how he smiled and reminisced in your past as if your boyfriend wasn’t sitting right across. Monoma would normally have a comeback or remark to the man who eyed you up, watching how your chest heaved in the dress. But he was silent, tapping on the table, pissed out of his mind. 

“It was good to see you again.” You happily spoke unaware of the irritation that seethed on the other end of the clothed table. 

The man had finally left taking your order, he patted your shoulder lightly as he walked away. “Having fun with your boyfriend?” Monoma remarked almost scoffing, he had planned this entire night out for the two of you. Taking you to this fancy restaurant, and then a walk into town but here you had been preoccupied with another man. 

“Baby, we were just catching up.” You murmur pouting a bit at how you could sense the tension. 

He raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue against his teeth. “I wouldn’t call talking to your ex for…” He checks his watch before gazing back up at you, “...10 minutes a catch up.”

“I’m sorry, I’m all yours now though.” You try to resolve the situation, thinking of how you could ever make it up to the jealous boy. 

Monoma raises an eyebrow resting his elbows on the table to be in direct contact with your own. “You’re going to have to do a lot more than a sorry y’know, how can I have a girlfriend who seems to be crawling back to their ex.”

“Neito, you know it’s not like that.” You hesitantly whisper. 

“So my eyes deceived me, and that guy wasn’t touching you.” He seemed to be enjoying how easily it was to toy with you, how you had to take a large sip of water to ease your nerves under his gaze.

You try to look down, but his palm reaches your chin making you look right into his eyes. His finger glides across your lips, dragging your bottom lip down with his finger as he stares with a sly smirk. “Ne…”

“What? Cat got your tongue. Or are you imagining his cock deep down that pretty throat of yours.” He said it casually, not caring if anybody heard, “go to the bathroom and I’ll show you who you belong to okay?”

You could barely even speak, instead following his command. Just as you walked past him, his hand reached your wrist making you look at him, “answer me, sweetheart.”

“Okay.” You replied, he let go of your wrists as you walked towards the bathroom. Glad to have been seated in the corner without anybody questioning where the two of you were. Monoma wasn’t usually the type to act on his jealousy, he’d normally make a comment about them, dismissing them as a useless ex with nothing going for them. But seeing you talk so fondly with the man infuriated him, he wanted to call the waiter out but couldn't. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but he followed in suit to the bathroom. 

He saw how nobody had realised, something making him crave for others to hear what was to occur. He walked into the female bathroom, the way the cubicles were empty, with the last one closed off. He tapped on the door hearing you mutter a come in as he finally saw how you stood against the wall waiting. 

Pushing his back against the door as he locked the small cubical, before grabbing your wrist and pushing your chest onto the door. He brought his mouth up to your ear, moving your hair to easily speak to you. “You want me so bad, don’t you, I can already feel you soaking onto my fingers.” His finger glided past the short dress across your underwear, dampness seething onto his fingers. 

“Neit…” You could barely speak, even just his mere touch making you cower under him. He moved his fingers into your mouth in an instant.

“Suck, use that mouth, what you thinking about? That pathetic waiter?” He toyed again mentioning your ex so easily. Your tongue wrapped around his two fingers, saliva and spit falling out of your mouth. He watched you suck before wrapping the hand around your neck, the saliva dripping onto your neck. “A little whore aren’t you, letting the bastard touch you like that, touching what’s mine.”

You gave a soft moan, his hand tightening as his other easily moved your underwear to the side, slick dipping down your thigh. You knew it was going to have to be fast, this small cubical would not be able to allow for a long fuck session. You heard the click of a buckle and shuffling behind you before a groan went to your ear. “Speak then, don’t go all silent now or are you still thinking of him.”

He didn't let you answer, his cock sliding against your cunt, he could feel the slick run down onto his tip, another groan coming from his mouth. “Neit..o, I...I wasn’t.” You try to explain yourself but the way his cock kept gliding back and forth against your hole made you unable to speak. 

“Shut up, you stupid girl.” He mutters in your ear, he didn’t want a response, he just wanted to make you feel guilty. Make you feel needy for him, he just wanted you to submit to him. “One more fucking sound from you…”

He didn’t finish the sentence instead letting his cock glide right into your cunt, the way you tightened around him. He felt suffocated but your mewels and instant loud moan as you pushed your hands onto the door of the cubical. He began thrusting in and out, grunting in your ear a couple of swears as his hand around your neck moved to your covered chest. He squeezed through the fabric already feeling your hardened nipple as he continued to push further against you. 

“You gonna be...good for me now.” He nestled his face into the crook of your neck, watching the door shake at every thrust. He left small kisses on your neck as his other hand gripped your waist. “Fuck b...baby.”

“Please f...faster.” You finally spoke through the heavy moans; you haven't heard the outside door open glad that you were both in an empty bathroom. But it felt exciting knowing that there was the threat of someone walking in. “Please.”

“My good girl, begging for me.” He cooed out kissing the side of your neck before he felt your head rest against his shoulder, mouth in full view. He kissed you with haste, his tongue lapping around your own as he felt both your saliva’s mix. “Who ruined you, go on, say my name?”

He waited for an answer, a loud moan erupting from your mouth, “y...you Neito.” You murmur as his grip around your waist tightened. He loved the feeling of how easily you submitted to him, how your body arched onto his own, almost moving in and out with him. He saw how your neck had been littered in the soft bite he had made.

He could almost feel how your body tightened against his own, already knowing how close you were to your fix. “Come on baby, just a couple more thrusts.” He whispered knowing your legs would get tired soon. He hadn’t thought about the practicality of fucking in a cubical but he didn’t care. 

“C...cum.” You could barely speak, the way he easily grabbed your jaw again making you kiss his mouth. His blond hair felt sweaty pressed against his forehead as his calloused hand moved your mouth with his own. He let his spit dribble into your throat, the warm liquid making you moan again. 

He let go pushing you against the door, your sore cunt continuing to be used as one hand pushed your head and the other gripped your waist with faster and harder thrusts. He watched at how your ass was on show, gripping it to make his cock delve further into you. “You gonna cum, you gonna be my little cocksleeve.” He teased watching at how you gave no response instead just uttering a fuck. 

He gave one more thrust into you before feeling you gush against his cock, white liquid dripping down your leg. He continued to thrust through the cum before groaning as he felt himself cum into your sore cunt. “My good little thing.” He whispered kissing the side of your head as he moved your underwear back onto your filled up cunt. “You’re going to keep all of me in you.”

You could barely make a sound, feeling sore and legs about to give way. Monoma put back his trousers and did his belt before unlocking the door, he turned to see your dishevelled hair and face. “Don’t be too long, or your ex might start worrying.” He was never going to let that go, but as he walked out of the women’s bathroom with a cocky grin. He saw the waiter notice him, he felt glorified watching how your ex’s eyes widened. 

He took his seat, the waiter coming up with the food as you were still in the bathroom. Your ex lingered and just as he was about to leave Neito grabbed his wrist bringing him down to his eyeline. “I’d appreciate it if you stopped looking at what’s mine.” He let go of the man seeing how you walked back into the room, looking directly at your ex and your boyfriend. “Fucking pathetic.” Monoma muttered as he ushered for the man to leave. “Go then.”

Your ex could barely speak, instead refusing to meet your gaze, he noticed the hickies and how you almost wobbled into your seat. He looked away before walking away, “what did you do?”

Monoma cocked his head back in a chuckle, “I didn’t do anything darling.”

You shake your head as Monoma finally got the night he planned, dinner and a walk with his favourite girl and the knowing look of your ex’s jealousy and regret at letting you go. By the end of the night, Monoma would have you under him once again and this time he knew you wouldn’t dare think about your stupid ex.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @crystal-lilac @dai-tsukki-desu @fandomsinthegalaxies @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann @zlatanakermann @c0urtn3y

[loveume]

# 1 to 10 🔗

one.

you're a nobody here. a mere plus one to your friend who was forced into coming to this fundraiser by her business world old money parents. your nicest black dress on and one of her many red bottoms, they pinch a little but you pretend like they don't. just like you pretend not to notice the sage green eyes that follow you as the attractive man they belong to sips on what you assume is bourbon, his gold rolex (that easily costs more than the house your family lives in) gleaming on his wrist.

two.

you look over your friend's shoulder from where the two of you lay, sprawled out on a gingham blanket in her massive yard. she's mindlessly scrolling through instagram and just as you're about to turn you catch a glimpse of those eyes. "wait!" she flinches at your exclamation. "go back up." you say offering no explanation. her lithe fingers drag down her screen and those eyes stare back at you once again. it's a candid of the guy from the event, his tongue stuck out. one hand flips the camera off while the other is resting against his lower abdomen which in turns raises his shirt just enough to catch a glimpse of the metal at his bellybutton. his handle reads suna.rin. your friend looks up at you with a confused look but it soon turns to one of disapproval. "don't even think about it." your eyes catch hers and you reply defensively, "i wasn't thinking of anything. i just recognize him from that fundraiser, he kept staring at me." she clucks her tongue. "suna rintaro is bad news with a capital BAD. seriously, don't think about getting near the freak, he's really no good."

three.

really no good makes his way into your dms a few weeks later. you admit it. you were combing through this man's insta like it was your job. but your butter fingers decided to double tap on a month old photo, causing you to lock your phone with a quickness and toss it away from you in humiliation. while you have your face buried in your hands contemplating which bridge would be best to jump from your phone vibrates once, and then once more. –found u angel– –or looks like u found me–

four.

you kick your legs, air force ones swinging in the air as you wait for him. the two of you had decided to meet "officially" in person after taking for a month and a half, suna rintaro was a busy man it would seem. you glance up at the clock above your head, he was late. tapping away at your phone gives you something to do while you wait. a black air force nudging your white one grabs your attention and you look up only to meet sage green. "hi pretty, you match shoes with me on purpose?" his teasing smirk is practically clench worthy. "you're late." is what you reply, standing and slinging your purse over your shoulder. "no, im rintaro. suna rintaro." he holds his hand out to you. you slip yours into his replying with your own name. "i hope we can be good friends," he murmurs with that smirk again.

five.

you don't know if parading around the city with him count as dates, but if they do you've been on a lot of them. he'd called you earlier wondering if you wanted to window shop, his old man was giving him a hard time. that's all you seem to know about his dad, that he's strict on rintaro. he says his mom and younger sister are much easier to get along with. "this one?" he points to a silver chain, thick and chunky. you tilt your head before shaking it, "wouldn't suit you." you point out a thin gold one. "layering a few of these would be better." he contemplates in silence before humming in agreement. "you're so hot." rintaro says before leaning in to you and taking your lips with his.

six.

you'd had to curry favor with rin to make him agree to having a picnic, he got to pick the spot though. he'd said the park you wanted to go to was "too stifling" whatever that meant. the place he'd brought you to was rather secluded but incredibly beautiful. "c'mon pretty, we don't have all day. feed me some of those finger sandwiches you made or whatever it is that gets served at a picnic." he was sprawled out on the blanket, his shirt riding up to show that awful sexy piercing of his, you wanted to kiss him. you tuck the skirt of your dress under you as you sit and unpack the basket. "ah, rin the drinks! please don't tell me u forgot them." "as if, got em right here angel," he holds up a bottle of rosé. "did you seriously bring a 20,000 yen bottle of rosé?" "man if the rosé bothers you, you're gonna hate the necklace i bought you." your eye practically twitches, "rin, what necklace?" he pulls out a cute red velvet box from his pocket and opens it. inside sits a dainty gold chain with a small gold cherry hanging from it. "how much did yo– actually don't tell me i feel like i'll pass out." he merely chuckles before moving to put the jewelry on you. "get used to this pretty, i'm gonna spoil you stupid."

seven.

you're lounging on the ridiculously fancy black couch in rin's equally as fancy and equally as black-accented apartment. he'd run off earlier to in his words to "take care of business", but he'd been out for about four hours at this point. you glance at the clock mounted to his wall, which reads 2:17 am. you drag yourself to get ready to bed, he'd probably be home soon. a loud crash and an equally loud exclamation of "fuck!" startles you awake. you quickly tie your robe around you as you carefully pad into the hallway, peeking around the corner to see what the commotion was about. rintaro stood in the kitchen, his back to you. you're about to call to him when he yells another obscenity which pulls a squeak from you. he whips around to face you, and you can see his anger through the blood traili– blood? you brain finally registers the blood on his face and soaking his shirt. "rin?!" you rush towards him hands cupping his face, "who did this? why do you have blood–" he cuts you off by grabbing your shoulders with a bit more force than necessary, "it's not mine." "what do you mean it's not yours? rintaro what's goin–" he cuts you off again. "go back to sleep." he brushes past you to lock himself in the bathroom.

eight.

everything has seemingly gone back to normal. you and rin never did talk about that night he came home covered in blood. your questions eat at you but you don't want to push the issue. you think back to your friend's words briefly. how rintaro was really bad news. too late to heed her advice it would seem. he kisses you like normal, buys you things like normal, and teases you like normal. you wonder if this game of charades is more for his benefit than your own.

nine.

you sit at his waist, eyeliner pen in hand. "promise i'll make you look real pretty rin." you'd persuaded him with your sweet words and a few sweet kisses and he happily agreed to let you practice your eyeliner on him. he thinks you're so pretty above him, biting your lip in concentration, he wants you badly. "all done!" "great work, pretty." a few beats of silence pass between you as you stare at one another, finally rin speaks up. "listen, i'll understand if you never wanna see me again after i tell you this." he starts. he explains that night to you finally. his family isn't in the cleanest of businesses, and sometimes that means taking care of things in "less than conventional" ways. unsure what to say you press your lips against his, hoping to convey your dedication to him. he slips a ring on your finger when you pull apart, pointing out his initials engraved into the metal. "here's mine." he tells you, reaching into his shirt to hold up a matching ring that dangles from a chain, this one with your initials. "you and me, baby."

ten.

his hand on your neck is cold but the barrel of the gun he presses to your jaw is even colder. you blink up at him, those gorgeous green eyes staring back at you. he leans in, lips ghosting the shell of your ear. click. "nobody loves you, more than me baby."

[mostpopulardisneygirl]

Edelweiss

Prompt: Apprentice comforts Lucio in the Magic Realm/Confronts the Devil

Fandom: The Arcana

Paring: Lucio x Hazel Lily (my fan Apprentice)

Word Count: 2,738

Warnings: mid language, angst

There he was, in the middle of the room, red hot chains around his wrist as he knelt to the floor. The Devil took him away from his own Masquerade, away from her, and now all she wanted to do was stop e Devil’s plan and bring him home. Hazel sprinted across the room to him. “Lucio!” Lucio’s face was drenched in tears, his eyeliner running down his cheeks. He looked weaker than before with his arms growing tired. “Hazel...” he croaked. Hazel ran her hands all around his face. “You’re okay...A-are you...?” Lucio shook his head violently. “No. No, I’m not okay.” Tears were forming once again in his eyes. “You’re just an illusion. Created by the Devil to haunt me. To draw out my frustration and emptiness.” Hazel looked at him sincerely. “Lucio,” she whispered, “it’s me. It’s really me.” Lucio just shook his head violently. “No, you can’t be! How can you really be Hazel? The real Hazel?” How long was he tortured like this? It’s only been several minutes since he was gone, but he looks like he’s been here for days. There was nothing she could do. She took his face gently in her hands and pressed her lips against his. Lucio’s eyes widened at the touch. She was gentle at first, but she slowly deepened the kiss, darting her tongue in his mouth and wrestling with his. This was Hazel. The real Hazel. He knew that kiss anywhere. Hazel broke away from his lips and Lucio chuckled tearfully. “Hazel...!” he breathed as he reached up to her face, caressing her cheek with his fingertips. “My Hazel.” He lurched forward and slammed his lips on hers in a passionate, heated kiss. “Where have you been? I’ve been here forever.” Hazel brought her hands up to his cheeks. “It’s only been a few minutes,” she explained. “I’m going to get you out of here.” For a moment, Lucio caught a gleam in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” Hazel places her hands in her laps when a small blush appeared on her face. “Nothing,” he answered softly. “I was just remembering how cute you looked.” Hazel’s lips curled up into a smile, but then Lucio looked down in despair. “Hazel,” he muttered, “there’s something I should tell you. About your death...”

“Oh, I’d love to hear this tale,” a deep, menacing voice from afar spoke. Hazel turned with a start and there he was. The Devil Arcana. “You!” Hazel shot up and readied her hands to blast him back, but with a snap of his claws, Hazel was bind in the same chains as Lucio and brought to her knees. “Tsk, tsk, tsk,” the Devil clicked his tongue. “I wouldn’t waste your magic here. Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to interrupt?” Hazel’s breathing became choked as the chains around her tightened. “Stop!” Lucio screamed. “Let her go!” The Devil grinned at Lucio’s heartfelt cries. He snapped again and the chains around Hazel slithered away, leaving Hazel limped on the floor, gasping for air. “Now, I do believe you were about to tell your precious magician about her untimely demise?” Lucio looked at the weaken magician on the floor, looking at him with soft eyes. “Well, Lucio,” the Devil pulled Hazel up by the hair and used his other clawed hand to squeeze her cheeks, causing her to whimper in pain. “Stop it!” Lucio demanded, pulling at his chains until the disappeared with a snap. The Devil gave him a throaty chuckle. “Why don’t you tell her who’s responsible for her death all those years ago?” Hazel gasped softly. “What?” Lucio’s lips trembled as he spoke. “I am.” Hazel’s eyes widened at him. “You died because of me. And nobody knew it.” The Devil released his grip on Hazel’s hair. “You were my friend,” Lucio continued. “No, more than that. You came to the palace nearly everyday.” Hazel places her hands on her head. “Lucio...” Lucio stepped closer to her. “But I got sick. I was dying. You didn’t want me to leave you.” Hazel ran her fingers through her hair. “Lucio...stop...” her breathing became shallow. “And then you got sick because of me. You sent me a letter...and like a cold-hearted bastard, I threw it away and never read it. And you died.” Hazel became dizzy with all this information, her vision soon became cloudy, and every noise around the realm was muffled out. “Hazel...?” Lucio caught her as she lost her footing and passed out. “Hazel!” The Devil chuckled lightly. “Oh, my. Didn’t anyone tell you that if your dear friend to remember her past life, she would get miserable migraines?” Lucio growled at him. “You bastard!” But before he could throw a punch, the Devil vanished in a cloud of red smoke. Lucio went back down to cradle Hazel in his arms. “Hazel...” he mumbled while tracing her hairline. “My sweet magician...I’m so sorry...” Lucio placed a kiss on her temple and held her close. He hummed a small melody against her hair while he cradled her.

~~~

It was late. The room was silent. Lucio was pacing back and forth in front of his bed, a bottle of red wine half drunk near the table. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. It racked his brain that she cared so much about him. He had nightmares about her, nightmares of her leaving him. He couldn’t sleep for hours now. Lucio even gave her a guest room near his wing whenever she would be over. Mercedes came up to him and nuzzled her head on his leg with a small whimper. Lucio knelt down to her side to giver her some ear scratches. “Daddy is having a hard time sleeping, my princess.” Melchior joined them as Lucio sat with his pups. He looked at the wine and shook his head. “Maybe I should go see her? I wouldn’t want to disturb her if she’s asleep.” Mercedes and Melchior nudged him up from his spot. “Okay, okay,” Lucio spoke. “Let’s go see her.” He walked out of his room and padded down the hall to the guest room. He bit his lips nervously and raised his knuckles, knocked softly on the marble door, and fidgeted with his hands. When the door opened, Hazel was rubbing her eye gently. “D-did I wake you?” Lucio asked fidgeting with his hands and gently pushing the dogs behind him. “I’m sorry, I just...”

“I was already awake,” Hazel answered with a small yawn. “I couldn’t sleep. Are you okay?” Lucio bit his lip gently and rubbed his neck. “I-I...I can’t sleep...” Hazel took a step closer into the doorway, taking a small whiff of his breath. “Have you been drinking?” she asked. “I drink when I have insomnia,” Lucio answered. Hazel took a hold of his flesh hand. “Well, that doesn’t seem healthy.” She lead him inside her room and sat him down on the bed. The dogs followed him inside. “Here,” Hazel poured Lucio a glass of water from the pitcher and he chugged the water down, small droplets falling down his neck. “Feel better?” Hazel asked taking his glass. “A little,” he mumbled. “Lucio,” Hazel places her hand on his forearm, “tell me what’s wrong.” Her voice was soft and soothing to him. Lucio laid his head on her shoulder and shuddered lightly. “I’m having a constant fear that you’ll leave me,” he spoke. “That you’ll go somewhere I can’t follow. Nobody would...love me or care about me.” Lucio took her hand in his and squeezed lightly. “Lucio...” Hazel whispered his name like a wind in the field. “Do you want to stay with me tonight? The dogs can stay too.” Lucio looked into her hazel eyes and gulped softly. “Y-yeah...” he answered. “Yes. It might help me sleep better.” Hazel laid down with Lucio lying on her chest listening to her heartbeat. Hazel ran her fingers through his hair gently, humming a gentle tune. “What is that?” Lucio asked. “It’s a lullaby my grandmother use to sing to me.” Lucio smiled and nodded gently. “Sing it, hummingbird,” he whispered. Hazel’s cheeks blushed softly. “Are you sure...?” she stuttered. “It’ll help me sleep,” Lucio teased. “O-okay...” she cleared her throat and began singing the lullaby to him.

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Every morning you greet me

Small and white

Clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow

May you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Bless my home-land forever

Small and white

Clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow

May you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Bless my home-land forever

“Feel better?” Hazel asked, but the only sound she heard was the peaceful silence of the room. Lucio asleep on her chest, letting her heartbeat soothe him as he slumbered. Hazel smiled and pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. “Goodnight, Lucio...” she whispered as she placed a small kiss on his temple. She drifted off to sleep shortly after, with the Count in her arms.

~~

Remembering the lullaby, Lucio did his best to sing softly to the magician in his arms.

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Every morning you greet me

Small and white

Clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow

May you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Bless my home-land forever

Small and white

Clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow

May you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, edelweiss

Bless my home-land forever

Lucio strokes her short hair with his human hand. “For what it’s worth, you made me feel like I could’ve been a better man...” Hazel stirred softly in his arms, a moan escaping her lips. “You...still can...”

“Hazel!” Lucio hugged the magician close to him. “You’re okay. Are you?” Hazel nodded weakly. “Just a headache,” she spoke softly. “I remember...” Tears were building up in her eyes. “I remember everything. You were kind to me. I was always with you. You told me you always enjoyed my company. I remember your masquerades. Your birthdays...we would dance for hours...and I would fall asleep in your arms...but then...” she started swiping violently at her eyes, threatening any tears to not fall from her cheeks. “Then you were so cruel. You hurt me...And I was a fool...because...because I...” She couldn’t stop. Tears were drenching her face, falling viscously from her eyes. “Hazel...” Lucio whispered softly as he placed his hand on her wet cheek. “I’m so sorry...” He lurched forward, embracing Hazel in his arms. “I lost you...You died because of me. Because I was selfish... I don’t want to loose you again, Hazel.” Lucio started shedding tears of his own, sniffling and sobbing into her shoulder. “Lucio...I’m here now...I’m not going anywhere...” They stayed until each other’s embraced for a little while. Hazel broke away gently and took in Lucio’s appearance. “Lucio, you’re a mess,” she took a napkin from her pocket and dabbed his eyes gently. “Here.” Lucio couldn’t resist turning his head gently to kiss her wrist. “Thank you,” he spoke. “I-I feel better now.” After helping him up, Hazel felt a chill down her spine. “Hazel?” Lucio took a hold of her arm gently. “You’re freezing.” They looked around to see the floor covered in frost, the ceiling dusted the realm with snow. After looking back at Hazel shivering lightly and rubbing her arms, Lucio immediately unhooked his cape from his shoulders and wrapped it around the magician. Hazel gasps lightly at his actions. “Lucio,” she spoke softly. “Your cape...” Lucio held up a hand to silence her. “I can always have another one made.” Hazel placed her hands on her shoulders. “But you’ll freeze.” Lucio shrugged lightly. “I’ll get used to it. I’m from the South, remember? It’s like this all the time.” Hazel snorted softly from her nose in a small laugh. “Why is it that whenever we’re in the magic realms together, we always end up with snow?” Hazel took Lucio’s hands and tugged him closer to her. Lucio rubbed her back for warmth and searched the area. “We need to find a warmer place.” Hazel moaned softly against his chest, her eyelids heavy. “Hazel?” Lucio lifted her up from her feet. “Think, Lucio,” she spoke weakly, “think of a warmer place. To rest.” Lucio looked at the weak magician in his arms. He knew the magic realms did work differently than the real world, and everything was connected to his emotions. He closed his eyes to think. “A warmer place,” he muttered. “A warmer place.” But all he could think about was Hazel, resting peacefully in his arms. He thought about her shop, being in the palace, running in the garden, laughing, playing with him and the dogs, dancing at the masquerade, bringing him back to life on his bedroom...His bedroom! Lucio’s head shot up as he thought long and hard. He closed his eyes again and thought carefully. In an instant, he and Hazel were in his bedroom back at the palace. It even had his old painting back on the wall. “Right,” Lucio chuckled. “Magic realm.” Lucio lied Hazel down on his bed, placing the blankets around her shoulders. Hazel stirred softly and opened her eyes to see the count sitting next to her side. She took in the interior of the room. “How did we get back to the palace?” Lucio stroked her hair lightly. “We didn’t.” He pointed at the portrait above them. “It was all I could think of that was warm.” Hazel gave him a light smile and placed her hand on his. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I like it here.” She snuggled closer to Lucio and he placed his hand around her shoulder. “Hazel?”

“Mmhmm?” Lucio ran his fingers through her hair gently. “When we get back, if we win...I want to give you whatever you want as a reward.” Hazel’s head shot up gently to look at him in the eyes. “You name it. Jewels, fur, silks. Maybe even your own exotic pet. Or your own portrait.” Hazel shut him up by lying her head on his shoulder. “I just want you,” she whispered. Lucio’s face grew hot and red instantly. “Hazel...” Lucio whispered, placing his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not the one for you...I’ve made so a lot of oop...” he shook his head like a wet dog, “mistakes in the past. I probably can’t forgive myself for it.” Hazel breathed in his scent and let out a light moan. “Lucio...your past doesn’t define your future. Who you are right now is what should matter to you. Nobody else should matter to you more than yourself.” Lucio watched Hazel’s eyelids get heavy. “You matter to me...” he whispered against her lips. Hazel lightly nudged his shoulder in comfort. “You should rest,” Lucio spoke as he lied her back down on the pillow. “Get your energy up.” Hazel took a hold on his human hand, her eyelids growing heavier. “You need rest too.” Lucio looked away shamefully. “But I don’t have magic like you. I can’t conjure a fire in my hands, or heal a headache like you can.” Hazel gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “But you lead us here. You thought of this place when I couldn’t. You don’t have to be magical, Lucio.” She yawned softly. “Just have faith in yourself. I do.” Lucio swiped at his eye threatening to shed some tears. “Sleep with me,” Hazel spoke lightly. “I want you by my side.” Lucio nodded lightly and snuggled next to her under the blankets. “I won’t leave,” he kissed her temple lightly. “I’ll stay by your side.” Lucio watched her eyes closed as she fell into a small slumber. “I’ll stay with you forever if you ask me.” He lifted his alchemical arm and quickly removed the sharp parts of his fingers. Looking at his gauntlet, he rubbed gentle circles into Hazel’s back while she slept. “I’ll fixed my mistakes,” he whispered against her. “I’ll become a new man. I’ll do it for you.” Placing a kiss on her forehead, Lucio held onto Hazel as she slept, falling asleep with the magician in his arms.

[hazeofhearts]

Last Minute (Connor x reader)

Soulmate au: first thing your soulmate says to you is tattooed on your body

Warnings: Swearing, drinking (legal!)

As soon as androids deviated, they got soulmate tattoos. No matter where they were or who they were with or what they were doing at the time. They all got soulmate tattoos.

Nobody knew how this phenomenon worked. After the android revolution, Elijah Kamski himself took it upon himself to have an internationally broadcasted interview about it. Immediately everyone was swarming chat forums for what it could mean. One person even suggested that that was why maybe a lot of people didn’t have soulmate marks.

Like you for example.

Everyone up until this point in time, thought that if you didn’t have a soulmate tattoo by the time you were five, then your soulmate hadn’t been born yet. All through middle school, high school and college you were made fun of for not having a soulmate tattoo. And the older you got, the more you feared when and how you would meet your soulmate.

Currently you were twenty three, on the edge of your seat, ready to watch the news and see what Elijah fucking Kamski had to say about the whole android soulmate thing because an android was obviously much more preferable than a child.

Absentmindedly, you brushed your fingers over the small line of neat text printed across your wrist. The single five word statement popping up eight months ago in November. It was right around the android revolution in fact.

The logo for the local news station flashed on the screen before Elijah simply popped up onto the screen. You gasped aloud at the sight of him. He was very attractive. But his name wasn’t the one featured in the words that were on your wrist.

Elijah went on the explain what he and his team had been testing for months. They had manufactured an android and waited for it to become deviant. When it did so, a soulmate tattoo appeared on their skin. Then they let it out into the world and followed it secretly, seeing if the experience was the exact same for humans. They’d followed it for more than a year before the android met its soulmate and it was love at first sight.

Then, something happened that set your phone and laptop blowing up even more than they already were. Your laptop was sitting in the news website forum and your phone was constantly refreshing from the discourse chat you were in.

Markus, the leader of the android revolution, was sitting in a chair across from Elijah Kamski. A flash of hope raised itself in you but lowered once again when you saw that Markus had pulled up his sleeve.

The camera zoomed in to show the words ‘Welcome to Jericho’ printed in swirling script across his wrist. Your brow furrowed as you recalled that the deviant android hide out was called Jericho.

Your eyes scanned the chat on the news site, seeing people spurt out weird conspiracy theories but also being really mature about the whole situation. Meanwhile, the people on the discourse weren’t being as grown up about the situation.

You closed out the tab on your phone and did the same for your laptop before turning them both off. You sat leaning forward on your overstuffed couch in your near barren living room.

When would your soulmate come? Who would they be? Were they an android? They had to be, right?

You sighed and finished out the program, more longing in your chest than ever before. Now that you had your soulmate tattoo, you just wanted to meet them but you knew that wasn’t how it worked. It was all up to fate.

You heaved yourself up from your couch and walked to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat. If you planned on drinking tonight, which you just decided you were, you needed to fill yourself up. Your roommate came out of her room, her LED flashing yellow as she watched you mope around the kitchen, gathering stuff to make yourself a sandwich.

“Did you watch the soulmate program?”

“Yeah,” you said forlornly.

“Here, let me,” she said as she pushed your hands aside.

“No, Macey, let me.”

“No, no,” Macey said, flapping her hands before combining your preferred ingredients together to make your favorite sandwich.

“I know you were a housekeeper model before you deviated but I swear, your mothering instincts have doubled since we became roommates.”

Macey chuckled, a few of her dreadlocks falling out of their loose bun she had on the side of her head. You twisted them up and back into the mix and she thanked you, handing you your sandwich.

You both sat at the table in silence, listening to the rain patter on the roof as Macey poured some chips on your plate as well. You played with your food for a bit before actually eating anything. Macey simply stared at you with her hands folded. She was waiting for you to make the first move.

“So how was your day,” you inquired.

Macey rose a carefully arched eyebrow at you before deciding to play along.

“It was good. Work was normal. That creepy guy came back again and asked for my number. I told him I didn’t have a phone but that I could remember his number and he got pissed again. It’s like he doesn’t see my LED. Not to mention that if he thought we were soulmates that we would have known already.”

You scoffed in disgust.

“The nerve of that guy honestly confuses me. Like he’s so blinded by whatever that he doesn’t realize that you’re not blowing him off and that you can LITERALLY call him with your MIND!”

Macey laughs, tossing her head back, her perfectly winged eyeliner catching your attention.

“Hey, Macey. Can you do my makeup tonight?”

“For what,” she inquired, her giggles still sitting under her words.

“I want to go out tonight. Get fucked up. You can come if you want but would you mind doing my makeup?”

Macey clapped her hands and grabbed her five tier makeup caboodle from her room, smacking it down on the table before spreading it open like her black market bag of makeup tips and tricks.

You swallowed the last bite of sandwich that was in your mouth and dropped the paper plate into the trash, stretching yourself slightly to reach the can.

Macey approached you and commanded you not to look until everything was done. Once she stepped away, she handed you a mirror. She left you with a glittery royal blue eye shadow and dramatically winged liner to match your dark red lipstick. It was very dramatic but very much what you wanted.

“Can I pick your outfit too?”

“Sure. Make me look hot but also please make it comfortable.”

Macey sent you a wink before jogging off to rummage around in your closet.

She came back with dark jeans, a white T-shirt and your leather jacket for you. You smiled softly as she placed the items on the table.

“Thanks.”

You changed right there, not bothering to move. Macey was your best friend, what was there to be shy about? She’d helped you when you were puking all over yourself the last time you drank about your soulmate. In turn, you did the same thing for her when she fell and needed minor repairs from you. You’d think that an android would be able to keep itself upright considering how many tests the creators would have to go through to make proper coding but you supposed you could be wrong.

You finished getting ready, slipping your shoes on and calling a taxi to come get you. You grabbed your house key, gave one last goodbye to Macey and headed to your favorite bar.

It was a quaint one all the way across the city but it was well worth the twenty minute drive plus traffic. Jimmy’s was a place where you could drink until you became a fucking idiot and nobody would care as long as you were quiet.

You slid out of the taxi and adjusted your clothes before heading in, no emotion on your face. You pushed the door and walked in, not sparing any of the old farts a sideways glance. They could underestimate you all they wanted, you were here to drink. You took a seat at the middle of the bar and rested your feet on the metal bar at the bottom of the bar stool.

“One alcohol with rocks please,” you said, giving Jimmy a wry smirk. He clicked his tongue with a fond smile, getting your glass ready. You drummed your fingers as he prepared you a mystery drink.

He placed it on the counter but blocked your hands from getting it.

“I’m gonna need to see some ID.”

“Come on, shit head. You know how old I am,” you tried wrestling with his hands.

“You look about 18.”

“We’re fourteen years apart you fucker,” you said, chuckling.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Here you go.”

You grabbed the glass and took a good mouthful, coughing as it went down your throat.

“Man I fuckin hate scotch.”

“I’m trying to get you used to it.”

You playfully stuck your tongue out at him and resumed your drinking.

After two more glasses, you couldn’t even taste the liquor anymore. You were leaned forward, your forehead on your bent wrist. You could see Jimmy waving off persistent guys from approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

You threw back your final drink, the fourth one of the night and stood carefully from the barstool. While you were sitting, the bar had somehow filled up with more older men. You slapped a $20 bill on the counter, gave Jimmy finger guns and wobbled as best you could out of the bar.

You were a strange drunk, indeed.

The door opens again and out comes a clean cut man in black dress pants, a crisp white shirt and a loosened tie around his neck.

He approached you and stood with his hands behind his back, staring straight at you.

“Hi, my name is Connor.”

You felt your wrist warm up and your subconscious, tipsy mind answered with the first thing that came to the surface.

“Aw fuck me, man.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth and looked at him embarrassed. He rolled down his sleeve to show his tattoo to you. You did the same for him.

“Ah, what a wonderful first impression I must’ve made.”

“I could tell your personality simply how you interacted with Jimmy when you first came into the bar. My first impression of you was then. Should we exchange numbers so we can stay in contact, soulmate?”

You could tell that the word soulmate felt strange in the androids mouth with the way he sort of scrunched up his nose at saying it. You chuckled.

“That sounds nice, I’d love that.”

You gave him your number and nearly fell into the taxi when it pulled up in front of you. You blew him a kiss before the taxi drove off and saw his pale cheeks turn pink.

When you got home, you fumbled with your keys for a minute before getting them in the lock and opening the door. Knowing Macey was awake, you simply shouted into the apartment.

“Hey Macey, you’re never gonna fuckin’ believe what happened!”

[sincerelybillie]

on liking yourself when others dislike you

do you think you could handle knowing, at the rate and visibility of social media “likes” and praise, how many people cannot stand you? i think about this often - how i myself do sometimes quantify and qualify my work and my worth based on the affirmation i receive, read and hear. and years of self-growth and self-love aside, to look at yourself through rose-coloured glasses isn’t any much healthier than picking at the scabs of your own insecurities. whether you’re healed or not, you’re not above self-examination. i’m really learning that these days. 

there’s a lot to unpack here, so i hope you’re comfy. because i’m about to get uncomfy.

 and again, the thoughts burst to the forefront of my brain and again i, in the paralysis and then dull pain of honest self-reflection, spat them down as bullet points. things that sting just as much removing an old and actual bullet from a body that’s gotten too accustomed to its own damage and romanticized being a warrior whose bones can no longer be broken w sticks, stones, or anything for that matter. but none of us are that untouchable. we wouldn’t be human. 

in middle school, stephanie and sarah started a myspace comment thread about my eczema and how they didn’t want to be near me in the locker rooms during P.E. because they didn’t want to have “lizard skin” like me. i found out about their lifetime movie school bully behaviour after they’d been discussing me for weeks (which was honestly weirder than any skin condition i had? you’re preteen girls obsessively talking about my mostly naked prepubescent body that experiences dry skin sometimes? which isn’t contagious?) anyways, they both ended up having severe, cystic acne for much of their teenhood, and i always felt secure in knowing karma did a much better job than any revenge i could have employed at such a young age. i’d known stephanie since we were in first grade, and sarah was one of the “bad girls” who started wearing excessive eyeliner and push up bras before the rest of us. i guess stephanie felt like she needed to invest in something like that, for social currency. sarah got beat up a few times, i think, because other girls caught word of her trash talking. i think stephanie knew how to be strategic in her associations and never actually had to be held accountable for being shitty. i don’t know what happened to either of them, but i remember being really smug about my clear skin and the state of their faces when i found them on facebook in high school. this wasn’t productive. this didn’t make me a good person. and i guess i just always wanted to believe anyone who didn’t like me was in the wrong and would receive a cosmic consequence for being a dick to me.

let’s head to my early twenties where my first full time job with an organization i spent two years with showed me i was wrong. there were still coworkers who disliked me for really petty reasons, who still acted like spiteful and gossipy middle school bullies or were passive aggressive towards me for reasons that really didn’t make anymore sense than hating me for my allergies did. but i did have to hear and internalize and change the fact that i was too aggressive in my work ethic, isolated people who i felt didn’t work as hard as me, didn’t open up to people because i came across like nobody was worth knowing me or being trusted, was too opinionated, verbose, competitive, elitist. i couldn’t believe i could be considered these things, and anyone who called me that must have really misunderstood my commitment and my values. they were stupid and wrong. i was right. there was nothing for me to change here. but i was wrong because even if some of them had discussed me behind my back in separate group chats, behaved unprofessionally towards me, or stopped interacting w me entirely outside of mandated work environments, it didn’t automatically invalidate any and all other feedback they could have given me. it didn’t lose its legitimacy just because it was coming from someone i didn’t consider a friend with valuable insight. and because i placed so much value on the connections and thoughts of people i mutually respected, knew, and trusted, it was hard to swallow truths handed out by strangers, estranged friends, acquaintances or people i just thought sucked. 

i stifled my own growth by not listening to them because i thought loving myself and hearing what people who aren’t cool with me had to say were mutually exclusive. i chose to only hear half the conversation because that’s what served me. because only hearing criticisms and insults was so poor for my mental health, that i had to swing the pendulum as hard as i could in the other direction. and that may have felt better most of the time, but it didn’t make me better long-term. 

at the benefit of my sanity in this digital age, i don’t see who or how many people ignore my snapchat stories, screenshot my ig stories or discuss them when i’m not around, hate what i post, roll their eyes at my captions, or click thumbs down on my youtube videos, whether or not they watched the whole thing. but i know that people do it. i know some people choose to continue following me on social media or being friends w me because they want that mutual follow, despite never really interacting w me - positively or otherwise - on the particular platform. it’s a numbers game. they hate seeing their follower count drop more than they hate seeing me. i know i’ve been blocked, unfriended, and called names i can’t respond to before they press that button, a power move to get the last word in that i myself am guilty of using. my ex boyfriend made a hate account for me when we broke up. my numbers drop a little by a couple people on different platforms almost immediately after i share something that i guess people determine is enough of seeing me and my opinons on their timelines or feeds. my roommates talk about me and hide their ig stories from me. one of them reads my tweets, but doesn’t follow me, but she's given me a lot of valuable insight and feedback herself; the other throws temper tantrums, so i know where to put more relationship energy based on maturity and respect. i can’t explain human behaviour, my own or theirs when it comes to this. i could obsess over what possible reason anyone could have to decide to do these things. i could obsess over what possible reason anyone could have to think i’m not incredible. and that’s pathetic of me to do so, to assume so. 

so many things could be a blow to the ego if i let it matter enough. but how do you know when something is insignificant and when something is a sign? my impatience w what i consider “poor performance” has made me seem pretentious, unapproachable, and aloof. so i built up my empathy muscle, i started sharing how things made me feel, what i needed from people, asking them what they needed from me, listening, giving - and that has made a monumental difference in my relationships. i have less of them now (relationships), because it is not a numbers game, but the ones i have i enjoy and i put the work in to grow and maintain, like any other garden, talent, muscle, bond. if i care enough and because i care. 

apathy isn’t cool. we are not above being hurt or taking it personally, wondering what we did wrong instead of just as often deciding that person is trash anyways. so good riddance. ha ha, quality over quantity, yeah i’m never wavering from that perspective! 

but i do waver because as (un)fortunate, (in)convenient, confusing, or exciting as it can be, these perceptions of “what makes me great”, “why does everyone hate me”, “i’m good enough”, “i’m untouchable”, and “i’m trash” are fluid. influenced by read receipts, break ups, little to no interaction w people you have shared laughs and important times with, technology, celebrities and pop culture, childhood flashbacks, adulthood anxieties, etc. 

i’m still trying to make sense of this all. maybe you are where i am at on some or many days as well. i hope i, and you (but i can really only speak for myself, i have to remind myself on this blog) can understand what makes me a remarkable person doesn’t scream louder than the parts i should work on, doesn’t shine so much that i don’t need touch ups or entire renovations of how i act, think, and treat myself and others.

and adversely, people can dislike me because they dislike themselves or because they’re generally bad people w bad taste…or they can dislike me because there are things that i do, real behaviours that are mine, that are dislikable. bad. ugly. allowed to be criticized. allowed to be unwanted.

i can do something about them or i can let my precious, problematic ego inflate while my potential for growth and reconcilable, worthwhile relationships deteriorate. why do i preserve what i preserve? why do i overlook what i overlook? scoffs, tears, eye rolls, thank you’s, hugs. 

i have all this self-awareness and all these options. i just don’t have the foresight to know what is the correct button to press. maybe part of growing up is just taking that journey, for all its guts and glory, because we’re not entitled to the ending we think we deserve. we experience the consequences of our actions, the actions of others, sometimes we get lucky, we get better, we get hurt. i have to be okay w all that, i have to learn and never stop learning from all that. even if, no matter what i become or do or say, people still decide they don’t like me. 

after all, the end game isn’t likability, despite how sick these social media games can make us. my end game, my always game is just growth, goodness, the willingness to experience the refreshing pain of honest self-evaluation and re-calibration. as much as i can see greatness in myself, i’m not above being told there’s something ugly and bad that needs to be looked at too. removed.

maybe this isn’t enough for the people reading who don’t like me. is it insincere? irresponsible? i’m not here to please you or get you to like me; i need to be better, no matter what. this is the truth of how i feel and what i’ve been thinking. 

yes, i like myself. enough to see past mindless hate and not change myself to accommodate others, but also enough to recognize when i need to make real change for everyone’s benefit of being/knowing a better me. 

this is what needed to be said.