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gretavanfleetlife · 6 years ago

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Only Time Will Tell:

Chapter 5

AN: Hey! I just wanted to thank you guys for the incredible feedback and support you’ve shown so far throughout this series. You’re the best, enjoy!😉💕

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 2,460 words

You close the door quickly behind you and flop dramatically onto your bed. You're grinning like an idiot but you can't seem to stop. You lie on your back and stare up at the ceiling of your bedroom, letting out a heavy sigh that you didn't realize you were holding in. Half an hour passes and you haven't moved, still thinking about growing up with Sam all this time and not feeling anything towards him until now. He wanted to walk you home, not because he was on his way to his aunt's house like he said, but just because he wanted to. You can't get over that.

You've eventually broken away from being immersed in your deep contemplation by the sound of your doorbell ringing throughout the house. Your dad had gone out to get groceries shortly after you came home, so you got up to answer the door. You figure it has to be one of the boys since you're so used to seeing them daily every summer. As you race down the stairs your heart flutters at the thought that it could be Sam. You reach the door and throw it open to reveal a very happy looking Josh waiting outside. You can't help but feel a little disappointed that it isn't Sam, but Josh is arguably your favorite person in the world, so you feel happy nonetheless.

"Hey Y/n, how are you holding up?" Josh asks.

"I'm actually great! Barely hungover anymore so that's a plus," you reply, still grinning like a fool. "Come on in," you say as he's already making his way inside, closing the door behind him, "what have you got there?" you question, motioning to the small bag he's being careful to hide behind his back.

"Well I decided to get you a little gift because I didn't think you'd be feeling so great after last night, but now seeing that you're exquisitely jovial I think I'll just keep it and be on my way," he says, reaching for the door handle.

"No no no! I'll be sadder I promise!" you laugh and he drops his hand from around the doorknob, turning back to you and handing you the bag.

"Excellent," he grins, his eyes squinting into the smile that you love so much. You laugh and peer into the plastic bag, taking out a sleek new Mumford and Sons record that you've had your eye on for months. You squeal out of excitement and immediately rush to pull Josh into a tight hug.

"Josh I've wanted this one for months! How'd you know?" you ask loudly, pulling out of the hug to look at the record again.

"Well I know your collection like the back of my hand," Josh winks, "I also know what it's missing, which is a lot if you ask me."

"Well, we can't all share a massive record collection with a music-obsessed family," you laugh, playfully hitting his shoulder.

You lead Josh upstairs to your bedroom, and he sinks into your bed as you put on your new record. You join him on the bed, lying down next to him in silence as you listen to the music echo throughout your room. This is one of your favorite things to do with Josh, listening to a record in silence and enjoying the beautiful lyricality in the music.

The record finishes playing, signaling you to flip it to the B side. You're too deeply lost in thought about Sam again that you hardly realize that the music has stopped.

"Y/n," Josh says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to flip it?"

"Oh, yeah sorry I was just thinking and I didn't even notice the music stop," you explain as you sit up.

"Well, what were you thinking about?" Josh asks curiously. You feel your heart drop in your chest. You can't lie to Josh, he notices every time.

"Nothing," you lie, nervously. How were you supposed to tell him that you were just fantasizing about his brother?

"Bullshit," he smirks, "what was it?"

"I said nothing! It isn't important," you defend.

"Sure it is, you wouldn't tune out a new record to get lost thinking about something that has no meaning." You bite your lip and walk toward the record so he doesn't see your face. You think about what you should tell him, but decide there's no way around it. That smartass will figure it out for himself eventually. You stop at the record and turn around to face Josh, who is sitting up on your bed, waiting patiently for your reply. He raises his eyebrows at you, giving you a small smile, "well?"

You sigh, let's get this over with.

"Don't freak out," you begin, "I-I think I'm in love with Sam." His smile fades.

"What?" he asks quietly.

"Don't make me say it again," you sigh.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes Josh," you knew it'd be hard for him to wrap his head around, god it was even hard for you to fully understand it.

"Y/n no," he says, shaking his head, "stop it, you cant like Sam! That's insane!" he says in disbelief.

"What do you mean? Why not?" He stands up and walks towards you.

"You know I just want to protect you, right?"

"Of course, Josh, but-"

"Then why do you make it so fucking hard?" He's speaking much louder now.

"It's only Sam! What's the worst that could happen?" you ask, silently hoping he doesn't have a legitimate answer. Josh just shakes his head.

"My younger brother, huh?" he says.

"Josh, you've got to stop this," you say softly, "nobody's going to get hurt." You hope you're right.

"And what if you do?" he says sternly, "what then?"

"Sam wouldn't hurt me!" you reply loudly. You're starting to get very annoyed at Josh. He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"You don't even know," he spits.

"Then tell me, Josh!"

"We're going on tour!" he yells. Your eyes are wide, your lips parted slightly. "Dammit," Josh mutters, scratching the back of his head. You take a seat on your bed. "It's only for a month and a half. The band got signed and they want to see what we can do," he says more calmly. This isn't how he wanted to tell you. You shake your head slightly in disbelief, Sam's leaving.

"That's amazing," you reply, giving Josh a forced smile, "That's fantastic, really. I-I'm so proud of you," you stumble. You were telling the truth, you were proud of how far their band has come. You were just upset that you finally discovered that you have feelings for Sam, knowing you won't see him for more than a month.

"I'm sorry," Josh says, "but you can't be with Sam right now." You look up at him. "It'd just be too hard. We're leaving in two days." You nod, understandingly. He sits down next to you.

"I get it," you force another smile.

"Promise me you won't do anything with Sam, just for two days," he demands, hopeful for you to comply.

"I promise," you nod.

-time skip-

That night you can't fall asleep no matter how hard you try. All you can think about is Sam, and the boys leaving in a couple of days. You decide you want to spend as much with Sam as possible before he leaves, but only as friends. You feel incredibly guilty about thinking about breaking Josh's promise, but you can't help it. You glance at your phone, reading 2:54 a.m. shine brightly across the screen. You slip out of the covers and stand up from your bed. Walking out of your room, you close the door behind you and glance into your father's room. You see him sleeping soundly in his bed, snoring loudly. You tiptoe down the stairs and slide out the front door without a sound. You're wearing a loose pair of short shorts and a white tank top. You're barefoot as you jog quickly towards the Kiszka house, loving the feel of the soft grass beneath your feet. You reach the end of the street and walk around to the back of the house, noticing the lights are out through every window. You stand underneath the window that you know leads to Sam's room, staring up at it. You decide to proceed the old fashioned way. You bend over and search the ground for pebbles and stones. You gather a few in your hand and begin throwing them at Sam's window. You hope the tapping noise of the rocks hitting the glass doesn't wake anyone else up, especially Josh. You're relieved as you see a sleepy looking Sam appear at the window. He squints at you as you wave at him to come down. He disappears from the window and you excitedly wait for him outside in peaceful silence. After a moment, you see Sam walking quickly towards you. You blush as you notice he doesn't have a shirt on, and you're thankful that it's too dark for him to notice your rosy cheeks.

"Y/n, hey, is there something wrong?" he asks quietly in a low, raspy voice. Concern is evident in his voice as he rubs his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up. You giggle, he looks cute.

"No, nothing's wrong," you lie, thinking about Sam leaving Frankenmuth to tour all summer.

"Why are you here? It's gotta be three in the morning," he questions.

"I came to see you."

"Are you drunk?"

"No! I couldn't sleep." You see Sam smile faintly in the dark.

"Oh ok, well what do you want to do then?" he asks.

"Follow me," you reply, "that is, if you want to come, you don't have to-" you begin to ramble but Sam cuts you off by softly reaching out and taking your hand in his.

"Lead the way," he says, causing both of you to smile. Your heart flutters in your chest at Sam's gentle touch, his rough, calloused fingers laced with yours. You lead him in the opposite direction of his house, walking through the line of trees and into a small opening. The two of you walk hand in hand through the open field, the long grass tickling your ankles as you walk down the route that you've memorized without needing the clear marker of a dirt path. You walk in silence with Sam, slightly ahead of him as you listen to the gentle sound of chirping crickets. The soft summer breeze blows through the long blades of grass around you. You approach a small creek and lead Sam towards a large rock that sits perched above the rushing stream of water below. The canopy of small trees and bush surround the creek, making the setting seem almost like a room in a house. You let go of Sam's hand and take a seat on the large smooth rock that overlooks the stream. Sam silently takes a seat beside you, leaving a comfortable amount of space between the two of you.

"I come here a lot if you can't already tell," you say, breaking the silence and stealing a quick glance at Sam, who has his eyes fixed on the running water below. "Mostly to think. Being surrounded deep in nature like this seems to clear my mind, helps me focus," you shrug. Sam looks at you and you return his gentle gaze with your own. He smiles, his deep brown eyes soft as they travel across your face. He looks ethereal, illuminated by the moonlight. You turn your gaze back to the creek and you see him do the same out of the corner of your eye. You look up towards the sky and admire the stars shining brightly from the heavens above. You smile, sadly.

"One of these stars is my mom," you whisper softly. You lean over and rest your head on Sam's shoulder, continuing to look up at the sky, "I like to think she's still watching over me." You feel Sam reach his arm around you and wrap tightly around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him as he rests his head gently on top of yours. You sit in Sam's warm embrace, listening to the peaceful sound of the running water for what you thought felt like ten minutes. Neither of you spoke, both of you enjoying sitting in the true depth of nature. The moon shines through the trees above. You could stay this way forever. You're disappointed when you feel Sam's head leave from its place on top of yours and his arm disappear from around your shoulder. You look up at him, your face very close to his as he gazes into your eyes.

"Beautiful," Sam whispers. Your heart drops in your chest, and in the moment you completely forget about the promise you made to Josh. You want him, badly. You lean in and your lips meet his. Sam reaches his hand up and cups your cheek gently. The kiss is filled with an immense sense of longing, but remains sweet and passionate. Your lips fit perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Shit, no. You suddenly remember the promise you made to Josh and your immediately filled with tremendous guilt. You can't be doing this, you need to stop. You gently pull away, opening your eyes slowly to meet Sam's. He looks at you caringly, and you feel another pang of guilt surge through your heart. You return your head back to his shoulder and close your eyes, wishing you could take back the kiss. What had you just gotten yourself into, you wonder. Before you can help it, you drift off into a peaceful sleep.

When you drowsily blink awake, you find that you're being carried by a pair of strong arms through the thick grass. You wrap your arms around his neck, confirming your suspicion that it's Sam who's carrying you by the feeling of his long hair brushing against your arms. You smile into his chest and keep your eyes closed, trusting wherever he's taking you and feeling safe in his arms. You drift in and out of consciousness. You're half-asleep as you feel him walking up what you assume to be stairs. You feel your body begin to descend as you sink into a soft mattress. You listen, but you don't hear Sam moving anymore. You open your mouth to call out to him, hazily wanting him to stay with you, but stop when you feel him sink into the bed beside you. You smile and roll over to him, placing your head on his chest as he pulls you up against him. This time it's much easier for you to fall asleep.

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japanessie · 6 years ago

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Hi Shelly! I'm sorry you're feeling blue! I was going to ask that about Taka and Hiro, too, but was worried I'd get too upset but since someone else asked anyway...It just kind of made me wince with hurt for Hiro when a few years ago Taka ranted on instagram about privacy (for his own life, not about his family). Like, where was your voice when your own fans were BULLYING your baby brother or when they posted on a forum after the ONE time Tomohiro finally showed his face, they asked if he was...

[2/3] Adopted! He already had issues being on camera (hasnt been on since, cant blame him). So, Hiroki looks too much like Taka but Tomo doesn’t look enough? They’re his little brothers, I think bullying BOTH Little brothers is when the time to speak up is. I’m not saying the bros cant handle themselves but I just feel Hiro, aside from mfs, has been on his own. It would be nice if his eldest brother took responsibility for his so called “fans” who attack his family and stood up…

[3/3] Sorry it just hits close to home. I know what it’s like 2 not have your older bro there when u need him most. When he leaves u in a house burning with hatred (i got to hear my parents accuse each other of cheating while my bro was out smoking & drinking. It makes me wonder what Hiroki heard when no one thought he was listening). I dont mean to take it personally or anything, I just feel like Hiroki & I are very similar. It’s why I like mfs. I’m sorry, I just have no one else to talk about it to.

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Hi 😊. I combined your messages together into one for easier reading

First of all I’m sorry for the pain that you personally had to go through. I hope you’re doing okay 🤗. At the same time though, I see uniqueness besides similarities in everybody’s situation.

1. Someone who is broken can’t be a crutch for someone else

In a traditional family setup in many cultures, even more prominent in Asian cultures, the eldest child is always the one assumed to carry responsibilities of looking after the younger ones. In a family crisis situation, while the younger ones theoretically have the one they can turn to, the eldest child has nobody and is usually left to fend for himself and everybody else.

Some elder kids have the inner strength and maturity to carry it at young age but some really struggle with it and only develop at a later age. Your brother and Taka seem to be in the latter category. Like Taka, your brother walked out because he was hurting and that was the shortcut way he knew how to surpress it and to stay away from what was troubling him at home. He couldn’t be your pillar when he was broken himself. Just like Taka who took the quick way out and his story had been well documented.

Also, a lot of times, someone who feels worthless doesn’t understand why anyone would feel hurt to see him walk away. I’m sure Taka himself only fully began to understand NOW, as an adult, the hurt he caused Hiro when he walked away back then. In his mind, he was a loser. Not doing well in school, stressed out over the parents’ marriage breaking up, not getting along with their father, very unhappy and not knowing where his future was heading. Certainly not someone for little Hiro to look up to. How would he look after Hiro when he could barely take care of himself?

* The Moriuchi brothers in those days when they used to be around each other a lot, before OOR moved out of Japan 😊

2. Some people need to pull themselves together first before they can love others

That dark period in Taka’s life was not something he’s proud of. He acknowledges it in interviews and his lyrics. Even OOR members admitted that Taka wasn’t exactly a pleasant person to deal with when they first found him. But once he got his life on track, things fell into places. He made amend with his father and got back the Moriuchi name. While Taka couldn’t give back the years with him that Hiro lost, he let Hiro hang around his friends and be a part of his life back in that way.

Even Hiro never denied the perks of being Taka’s brother. The most significant was when one of Taka’s close friends K from Pay Money To My Pain befriended Hiro and how that friendship led to the formation of MY FIRST STORY.

Think again, would Kei Goto a.k.a the late K simply befriend a random underaged high school kid just like that? I highly doubt it 🤔. Hiroki Moriuchi was NOT some random high school kid. K and Taka were buddies and Hiro the high school kid was Taka’s little brother. I doubt Taka would let his little brother hang around someone he didn’t trust. He knew Hiro was in good hands. All these happened only after Taka got his life back on track and was able to be the big brother figure he was meant to be for Hiro.

3. Taka publicly standing up for Hiro would be bad for Hiro’s image

Yes, it would be counter-productive for Taka to do so. You see, the ROOT of the hate and cyber-bullying towards Hiro stemmed from how easy things happened for him because of his family connection. If Taka had spoken out, it would make Hiro appear weak and ultra-dependant on his big brother.

“Duh! Not only he got a band because he’s Taka brother. Now, he needs to be protected like a baby!”

Hmm … does that sound good to you? We also need to see things from the haters’ perspective too, you know. Oh, with Papa being a multi-millionaire? Trust me. Hiro would get even less respect if any of his family members had spoken out for him. The bullying might get even worse.

As for Tomo, anything his family members say would bring unnecessary attention to him. He appeared on TV that one time because of his job at the station. Otherwise, he’s very private. It’s unfair on him if his famous family gives more reasons for the public to scrutinize his life when that’s the last thing he wants.

4. Being seen publicly as a brave independent fighter would be far more beneficial for Hiro

It worked well for Taka. He only started displaying his bonds with his parents AFTER he had firmly made a name for himself even though they had been on good terms since the early days of OOR. Likewise, Hiro would be less relatable to many fans if he is constantly being taken care of by his more famous and successful family members. Isn’t that the public perception Hiro is still trying hard to break away from?

Not just the Moriuchi, I have never seen being publicly defended by family members work well for ANY celebrity in the world. It may work for ordinary folks but things work differently for famous people.

I do support Hiro but I think even his most ardent supporters would agree that he somewhat gives off these “baby” vibes. MFS members themselves seem protective towards him. They let him be mischievious, loud and boisterous with them but they’re always there to hug him when he cries. Therefore, independence from his family would balance that out nicely.

5. Taka made a conscious choice to speak only for himself because he knew any reaction to it would be directed to him and ONLY him

As opposed to Taka speaking out for any of his family members, whom the public might hurl the hate and negative reaction to instead.

Things just work differently for celebrities. In a way, to minimize the bullying towards their loved ones, staying out of their public battle a lot of times is the better way to go. By not bringing more attention to it.

Likewise, none of Taka’s family members said anything when Taka had to face a barrage of criticism and angry reactions at the time. The ones who publicly defended him were his friends and peers. Guys like Mah (SiM) and Masato (Coldrain) among some. For celebrities, somehow testimonies from people they have worked with or even strangers they have encountered hold much higher values than family members.

With their chosen careers, backlash and criticism come with the territory. That’s what their parents want to instill in the two brothers. “You have chosen this path. Learn to deal with it.“

6. Rude fans are rude fans nonetheless

Rude people don’t suddenly become angels just because their idols ask them to. Just look at the backlash against Taka. It was quite brutal. Just like how Hiro got pictures of a woman pooping by his haters, I saw a photo of a “hairy ding dong” for Taka among some, along with truckloads of really scathing words. By his own fans (or should I say “ex-fans"?). If this kind of fans are willing to treat Taka like that just from ONE social media post, then nothing good can come out of it if Taka had said or done anything about Hiro’s haters. The ones who would cheer him would still be the same ones who already support MFS anyway.

Remember when fans were speculating that OOR’s song Right By Your Side as being dedicated to Hiro? Those who like MFS thought it was a sweet gesture but those who don’t like MFS used it as an excuse to say, “Look! Taka wrote a song for Hiro. Yet he still wants to call Taka his rival. What a low life!”. Yes, I’ve personally seen comments like that. So, see? Whatever Taka does regarding Hiro, mean-spirited people will still find a way to set fire to it.

7. There must be more than meets the eye

Fans went nuts when the brothers wore this pair of pants. I doubt it’s a coincidence that Hiro suddenly is comfortable wearing Taka’s look when he used to be sensitive about being called Taka’s copy before.

But that’s not even something new. in January 2018, Taka posted a photo of himself wearing this Monster’s Inc hoodie at Disneyland. That same month, Hiro was wearing that same Disney hoodie at his 24th birthday party.

Heaven knows what Taka had said to Hiro in private especially after MFS Budokan show 🤔. At the end of the day, they are family and though I also know many families who cut ties from each other, Taka and Hiro clearly are the ones who keep theirs 😉.

2 more cents

I feel that Taka is doing the right thing by staying away from Hiro publicly. Not responding to the negativity surrounding Hiro but still letting fans know that his little brother has his full support.

#reply #my first story #maifasu #マイファス #hiroki moriuchi #takahiro moriuchi #one ok rock

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l000ey · 6 years ago

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kwon ryu → r.d

pairing; song mino x rae dara (mention of kwon jiyong)

summary; mino wants a baby but dara tells him that she can’t have babies and why, then they go to visit someone special for dara

warnings; mentions of miscarriage, stress attack and mild depression and spoilers about red’s future

note; poor red dragon :( I think I'll do an alternate ending to see how it would be if she ended up with gd

2019

Dara's head was moving from side to side in sync with the demo of a girl, a possible artist of her new company, that Tian had brought her that morning. It wasn’t bad, the rhythm was catchy, the lyrics in english and along with many "bitches". Her artistic part, Red, she loved it. She smiled and shoved a large handful of ramen into her mouth as she looked at her emails.

She was alone at home since Mino had to go to the studio to finish his solo album but she didn’t care much, she was proud of him and the time alone was always a good thing for her, besides that if Mino was with her she couldn’t finish all the work she had with the opening of the new label, probably if Mino were here she would not even have been able to get out of bed this morning.

"D, I'm home!" The king of Rome exclaimed leaving the keys on the kitchen table. He greeted Jaehee, the housekeeper, who was cleaning the kitchen. "Hi, Jaehee. How are you today?".

"I'm fine, Mino." The woman gave her boss a sweet smile. "Thanks for asking. Dara is in her office, she said not to bother her until lunchtime” She sighed, picking up the plate with the remains of pancakes and chocolate syrup.

"Did she get up later today too?" He raised a curious eyebrow. Lately Dara had been behaving differently, didn’ t talk much, locked herself in her office or in the studio that she had at home and only went out to eat, have dinner and then go to bed. Mino thought that maybe it was because she was very focused on opening her own company, because her parents had told her they would come to visit next month or because she hadn’t been on stage for a while. Whatever it was, it was affecting her and that was worrying not only Mino but also her employees, her fans, her friends and the whole world.

Jaehee nodded, making her white hair bun move with the movement of her head. "She got up an hour ago, had breakfast in silence while looking at her phone and when she finished she locked herself in the office. Although about ten minutes ago came and prepared an instant ramen "

Mino let out a sound from his throat, making her understand that he understood and after giving her a slight smile he headed towards the office. He sighed when he saw her move her head with some song that was listening on her headphones, he smiled before closing the door behind him and leaned against the door watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. She kept humming a song that he didn’t know how to recognize and her eyes were focused on the screen of her computer, not realizing that her husband was right in front of her. It must be that the song ran out at once because she took off her headphones and smiled, even without looking at him.

"Are you going to stand there longer? You look like a creepy stalker” She heard him chuckle before approaching her and sitting on one of the chairs in front of her desk."How's the album? "

"Interesting" He shrugged, still crossed his arms "And the company?"

"Interesting" She made the same gesture as him making both laugh, when the laugh died Mino sighed without erasing his smile while Dara filled her mouth again with ramen.

"D?" The girl made an affirmative noise at his question, unable to respond with words because her mouth was full of food "I want to have a baby".

Immediately the brunette began to cough because of the surprise almost choked, Mino got up to help but she stopped him raising a hand, swallowed and drank water and then cough a couple of times more. She shook her head, her eyes were closed and her body tense. The boy frowned, was it so bad to want to have a baby with the person you love?

"Are you okay?" His voice drew her to reality. She opened her eyes and nodded before smiling and taking his hand across the table, her thin hands were much smaller than his.

"Mimi" The brown eyed boy smiled quickly, he loved that nickname for some reason, but only if it was she who called him that because if you did not call yourself Rae Dara and you called him that way you ran the risk of taking a punch in the face " I...Why so suddenly? "

"Today Hanbin brought Hanbyul and, well she is not a baby anymore, but she is so pretty and it was so beautiful to see her and Hanbin hugging each other or how she fell asleep in his arms" He moved in his place and put both hands around hers with the other hand that was free "I want that, with a little princess that looks like you or a champion that looks like me and teach them how to rap, dance and produce, it would be incredible. I want to have a child with you".

A silence covered the room. Both looked at each other in total silence, she looked at him with pity while he looked at her with hope that she would say yes. Dara broke the visual contact by finding the glass that made the desk much more interesting, Mino frowned and took a hand to her chin to raise and make her look him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He gave her a sweet smile, trying to comfort her and convey that he was there for her although he was also afraid and the insecurities did not take long to reach her body. Many questions came to his brain.

She didn’t want him enough to have a child with him?, Didn’t she want to have a baby because she thought he would ruin her career? Would she think that if she was pregnant he would stop loving her because she was not thin? or worse, Did she don’t want to have a child with him because she was only using him as entertainment until Jiyong left the military service?, Would she ask for a divorce when that day comes?.

Her green eyes rested sadly on his, they were watery. "I can’t give you children, Mino. There is very little chance that I would get pregnant, almost nil"

"What?" Mino didn’t understand anything, why could not a girl like her have children? She loved children!

"When I was eighteen, I got pregnant by mistake but Jiyong and I were happy, how couldn’t we? We were in love, we had the job of our dreams and we were going to have a child, the perfect life was getting closer but apparently being parents didn’t fit into the destiny's plans so it tried to erase the error” She took a breath of air causing Mino to squeeze her hand because hers were trembling non-stop. She swallowed and continued "One day Tian and I were in the car, I had a concert here in Seoul and I decided to tell him that I would be a mom because he was like a father to me and still nobody knew, I wanted him to be the first to know, I was happy to finally tell someone the secret but Tian was not very happy about it. From the beginning he didn’t support my relationship with Jiyong, as any father would, but he learned to live with it, of course pregnancy was something else, he began to tell me it was stupid, a risk too big for my career, that I was very young and that both I and baby would suffer because Jiyong wouldn’t be long with us, we argued very hard and I had a stress attack that caused me to have an abortion, I lost a lot of blood and they had to operate on me. It turns out that something was bad insidet there and the doctor told me that thanks to abortion there was very little chance that I could conceive children in the future ".

By the time she finished speaking, she was in a mess, she was crying non-stop, her eyes looked like waterfalls, she was shaking and it seemed like she was not breathing. Mino approached her so that she would sit on his lap and hug her, kissed her shoulder to give her moral support.

"How long were you when it happened?" He muttered almost distressed, it felt strange to talk about a son who could be here scampering but that was not his but Kwon Jiyong's.

"I had just turned a month." She shivered in his arms, making him tighten her grip on her and place the blanket she wore earlier around her shoulders better. Shee looked into his eyes "You can’t tell how much it hurt to wake up from the operation and see Jiyong crying next to my bed, hugging my arm. The happiness that had lit up his face when I told him I was pregnant had turned into a heavy, dark shadow of pain and grief. When I was pregnant he looked at me as if I were some kind of goddess who was giving him the greatest of gifts and, you don’t know how much I would like to see that look on you Mino, but I can’t, I'm sorry” Finally she let out a sob, she hid her face in his neck and her hand made a fist around the fabric of the shirt he was wearing. The boy could feel the tears wet his shirt but it didn’t matter to him but he pressed her harder against his body and kissed repeatedly the skin of her shoulder.

"It's okay, babe. It's okay, I can settle for Johnny and you. We are the perfect family of three, although we could give Johnny a friend, what do you think? "He smiled at a laugh choking a sob, at least she was laughing. He stroke her back carefully and they both stayed in that pose for several minutes, both without saying a word. Oh, what memories of there for 2015 in the new year.

"These days I've been this weird because next week ten years ago and it's going to be the first year for the anniversary without Jiyong, and it feels weird and bad because Jiyong is the only thing left of that memory and always, every year, we go to his grave to take flowers.” She broke the silence with his voice even more hoarse for having cried. Mino tightened his lips making them a thin line, feeling even more bad for her.

"He have a grave?"

"Yes, it was Jiyong's idea" She shrugged her shoulders away from his neck while wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, which was actually from Mino “He said we needed something to remind us that this had really happened, that pain would make us human again if at some point we lost ourselves. "

Mino gave a nod, knew that G Dragon and Red had a language that only they understood, they said a lot of deep things that might not make sense at that time but they knew their meaning one way or another. Their relationship was strange and too poetic.

"Can we go visit him? I'd like to go” He asked and Dara smiled before giving him a chaste kiss and hugging him by the neck as she thanked him again and again.

And so, half an hour later, they were in the cemetery looking at a stone grave surrounded by flowers and a dragon sculpted in the marble next to the initials 'K.R'. Mino frowned, keeping his hands in the pockets of his coat while Dara stroked the stone and left a bouquet of flowers, as she had said on the way were sakuras, the typical flowers of Japan.

"K.R?" His scowl still frowned on one more "It's obvious that K is for Kwon, but what about the R?".

"Kwon Ryu, that was going to be his or hers name."

"Dragon in Japanese, of course" He let out a small laugh at the obviousness of the matter and Dara smiled at him from the ground.

"The dragon is something very powerful and precious. Jiyong name means dragon in Korea, my favorite animal is the dragon and that's why I have one tattooed on my back, I'm from Japan so Ryu was a good choice to be the name of our unborn child” She shrugged and got up, got rid of the snow that had stained her knees and entwined her arm with her husband's before smiling at the grave "Let's go home, it's beginning to snow very hard".

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