#nobara i miss you nobara

[gaoau]

just thinking...

two in fall and one in winter.

pairing — kugisaki nobara x fem!reader word count — 1.5k warnings — spoilers for chapter 124 / s2 ep8 onwards

it's ambiguous. it has been for quite some time. everyone pretends not to know anything; everyone pretends not to hear.

the sky is crystal clear as [name] stares at the vibrant cyan expanse, so high up it seems farther out of reach than it used to before. the gaps between the naked leaves sneer down at her; nothing but a jarring reminder of the emptiness left behind by the bleak winter. she fails to understand her own reasons for fearing letting go. there's nothing to let go of, though. she doesn't know what it is she should be letting go. no one has told her what to do from here on out. no one has even bothered talking to her at all.

it's so ambiguous. it's so ambiguous that it almost tears her apart inside and outside. it pulls at the seams with uncertainty because no one ever dares to even pronounce nobara's name anymore. among her trusted upperclassmen, one holds no information she can pry out of him, and the other one barely allows questioning. fushiguro refuses to be cooperative, acting as brooding and mysterious as he's always done, but what good are those traits of him now that [name] is desperate for answers? not to mention itadori—not to mention cute, bubbly, friendly, reassuring itadori. not to mention him and the fact that no one's informed him of anything either. not to mention him and the guilt in his eyes whenever he catches sight of [name]'s grief. not to mention him and [name]'s unjustified anger towards his failure to keep nobara alive during that battle in shibuya.

she's deflecting. she knows she is. she's firmly prohibiting her own face and pains from changing. she's forcing a defense mechanism onto her loss because she doesn't know what she's lost. she doesn't know if the story has come to an end and she's supposed to move on. she doesn't know how much hope she should be holding out for. she doesn't know why now that nobara's not here to chat her ear off with trivial issues, suddenly she's missing her presence.

it all comes back to haunt her in echoes of adoration. the way nobara mercilessly used her to haul all of her bags while strolling through the bustling streets of tokyo. bags upon bags hanging off her tired arms, boxes upon boxes piling up on her sore palms. nobara threatened her to never drop a single one of her precious items. [name] had heard those same words pointed towards itadori, followed by seeing the poor boy cowering in utter fear in the middle of chattering crowds. she had instantly agreed to fushiguro's offer to escape those two idiots before they got dragged into their dramatic scene.

when a bag fell once, all on their own, the two of them together by themselves. when nobara whipped around, glare burning with the passion of a billion suns. when she stomped over to [name] as she waited for the oncoming string of curses. when she growled so gently, "careful with that one, [name]! it's for you!" when she snatched it off the floor and kept it safe in her hands until they returned to the dorms.

now she's missing all that. the sheer pressuring terror of accidentally dropping one of nobara's brand new purchases, the grating sound of her voice barking at [name] to make sure she was following close behind, the excited sparkle in her glimmering brown eyes when she spotted an unvisited store. all of it, so annoying, pushing down on [name], tightening her chest and squeezing the air out of her lungs. treated like nothing more than a handy slave. treasured like a dear friend who she was willing to spend money on.

[name] fails to understand her own reasons. if it was all so annoying, if now she's free of exhausting shopping sprees, why is she crying so loudly? why won't the tears stop flowing?

she doesn't want to repeat answers she already knows. she demands those answers no one has yet given her. "show me a grave, give me her hammer, tell me she's dead. i don't care, just let me have some—" and her words fall on deaf ears as fushiguro slams another door on her face. her. her. her. it was always her and never nobara. her name hasn't been spoken since.

the uncontrollable wrath that overcame [name] when itadori showed up unscathed and asked the same questions as her. the audacity of that boy. she was on him faster than his sharp reflexes could react. she knew and she still knows how unjustified her grudge is, but what other choice does she have when her last memories of nobara are those of her mangled body lying in a grotesque puddle of her own blood? plenty of fond moments she could look back on, yet all of them are stained and dripping in the horror of that last time she ever saw her.

[name] catches the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand. one after the other, they won't stop coming no matter how many times she wipes them away. nobara would have laughed at her.

her back brushes against the fragile trunk of the apple tree she planted with her own two hands. it's growing, strong and healthy. she's proud of herself for such a deed. in the midst of the culling game, she makes sure to drop by the school every now and then to watch over it—to mourn.

it rings in her ears like another painful echo, this time louder. adoration, something stronger. a tight bond, so close, so intimate.

nobara didn't want to stick her hands into the dirt and get soil underneath her nails. [name] tugged at her wrists to force her to help out. "come on! it's not every day you get to plant a tree!" for good reason. it's not every day one gets to form such a powerful memory. how dangerous it can be when the tree shall outlive the people.

carving a whole into the ground, hauling the sapling into it, spreading the dirt as evenly as possible. [name] took care of tying it to keep it straight while nobara whined about how dry her skin felt after labor. she was sipping from a water bottle, gazing as [name] admired their tough work, when she turned towards her with a grin.

"you've planted a tree. now all you got left is writing a book and having a child."

"having a child? we already have itadori."

[name]'s chuckles were source of energy for the apple tree and nobara herself. "then what'll you write your book about?"

"about that time i planted a tree."

a tree she left behind. a tree that remains. a tree that thrives, so why doesn't her future thrive as well? where has her future gone?

growing every moment stronger, tighter, brighter. another flashback of sweet, innocent love. the color of the sky and the scent of the fall breeze. days prior to halloween, before they understood what a life surrounded by curses meant for the two of them. if she didn't know any better, [name] would agree with herself for once, comparing this bleak december sunset to an evening in october and painting them in the same feeling.

she remembers. she thinks and she remembers. she thinks too much. the growing apple tree behind her casts its frail shadow over her folded body. snapping pictures of nobara's outline against the setting sun, against the vibrant pinks blending into burning oranges. her body, her clothes, her hair, her expression all covered in the darkest shade of deepest black. the same way the night gobbles [name] up in her own memories.

one more sob rips from her throat, because she remembers. that chilly day of dried leaves crunching beneath their feet. that fleeting moment when nobara got a bit too bold. she feels her heart ache, thumping loudly in her chest, regretting not cherishing more how it had skipped. the butterflies, the giddiness, the softness, the knowledge that she touched heaven with her hands the instant nobara stole an unannounced kiss.

all those could-have-beens overflowing. it skips and it hurts and it's so numb. reality simply refuses to sink in—[name] doesn't allow it to sink in. she doesn't know what reality is anymore. if all that comes after this last round is loneliness and an empty hole, then she'd much rather let it continue like this.

the shadows hold her close as she thinks. there's nothing wrong with wanting or holding out for hope.

[name] rises from the ground, stretching sore muscles towards the night sky. she winces at the popping of her spine. a sniffle replaces the endless tears. "i wonder what we'll eat for dinner…" her eyes flicker back to the growing apple tree. there are no crunching leaves beneath her feet as she walks away.

—あごす (agosu) • 2021

[k-martins]

I'm not ready to say goodbye to him, so I put him in a jar 🥹🥹

[nnobara]

[kugisakiss]

raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimised by mahito

[olasketches]

favs 🫶

[solarockk]

Gege make these two interact i dare you

+bonus

[mothmanavenue]

i know my place, i know my place, and THIS IS IT

[rikugans]

first meeting.

[supalonly]

"where were you?"

[madwomansapologist]

once again thinking about how satosugu was used in death.

suguru, someone that turned into a curse user to ensure sorcerers wouldn’t die for a foolish reason, having his body used by a curse user to ensure sorcerers would kill each other in a death game.

satoru, someone that believed in the youth and endless times gambled with his own life to protect them, having his body used by a student in the hopes of overcoming this wretched thing walking freely.

how said student was the one to ultimately defeat suguru because he was willing to die for his friends. how yuta didn’t care about any foolish lie the sorcerers (aka suguru and kento) told themselves and fully accepted that dying for love was the right thing to do.

suguru's family deciding to follow or not kenjaku based on their love for geto. satoru's student doing the only thing the strongest couldn’t

[loveydovey-leviathan]

"when geto died, gojo lost the only person who saw him as more than a weapon" did we watch the same show. like, genuinely-- was gojo satoru not loved by his students and by his friends.

[lunarspectacle]

resonance

nobara kugisaki my love. my girl. thinking about her always 💔

[friedsnoww]

there was gonna be a pt2 with megumi saying it was off center but i dont think nobara would miss ;p

[nnobara]

FUCKING LOOK AT HER 😭🌹😭🌹😭🌹

[sapphic-agent]

"What is this Mickey Mouse Kaisen-" SHUT THE FUCK UP THE TRIO IS BACK

[scar1ett-eyes]

YALL THE GOAT IS BACK IM GIGGILING LIKE A CHILD RIGHT NOW IM SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY AT THE MOMENT ?!?!??2?2?1??2?2