#noah wants it too hell make it happen | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

measuredingold · 3 months ago

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black butterflies and deja vu

author’s note: more best friend noah because i am only human and can never get enough of it LOL bit of a longer one, so strap in. as always, enjoy and feedback is appreciated :) title from the song with the same name by the maine lol

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

word count: 5.8k

cross posted on ao3 / part one and two ( but can be read as a stand alone )

cw/tw: slight miscommunication, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings, fluff, friends to lovers, ~first kiss~, jolly is sick of his friends and likes to meddle in their business, noah gets anxious, mutual pining, feelings realization, 18+ minors do not interact

It happened gradually as time went on, that feeling that kept building up inside Noah's chest. He tried to ignore it. He has before. Except, for some reason, this time it was much harder.

He couldn't seem to shake that feeling in his chest, tightening whenever he was away from you, and then expanding when he was with you. He can't escape the warm sensation that flows through his body whenever you're near or whenever you touch him, even if it's fleeting. He also can't seem to get you out of his mind, always plaguing his thoughts at the most random times.

He feels crazy.

Noah's tried telling himself that it wasn't anything, that he just enjoyed having you as a friend. He tried convincing himself it was normal to feel this way about a friend, but that all came to a halt when he looked at you one evening and the only thing he wanted to do was kiss you.

Which is definitely not a normal feeling to have about a friend, right?

So now, here he is, staring at you with wide brown eyes and parted lips all the while you remain completely oblivious.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuck.

He likes you. He fucking likes you, more than a friend probably should and that was one of the most terrifying realizations he's ever had in his entire life. He can't like you, not in this way, because once that happens then... then everything changes, and he can't let that happen.

You can't leave him, and he knows you will the second you find out about these ridiculous feelings. At least he thinks they're ridiculous because in what world would it make sense that you feel the same? He thinks that sinking feeling in his stomach is a sign, reminding him that you don't.

You turn towards him and Noah subconsciously sucks in a breath, heart rate picking up at the sight of your smile. He's absolutely fucked.

"What do you think?"

He blinks at you. "...Huh?"

"The movie?" You arch a brow at him before huffing out a soft laugh, your eyes moving between him and the screen.

Oh. Yeah. That. Noah had completely forgotten, too consumed by his own thoughts to even remember where the fuck he was right now. Which is his bedroom. With you. In his bed. Alone.

That isn't anything out of the ordinary, Noah's been alone with you more times than he could count. It's actually quite common between the two of you to hang out and watch something together, whether it be in his bed or yours, or both sprawled out on a couch at someone's house. It's a normal thing for friends to do.

Except he doesn't think he wants to be your friend anymore. Actually, he knows he doesn't, because all he wants is to actually kiss that adorably confused expression off of your face right now.

"Uh. It's good."

You pause. "...You haven't been watching, have you?"

"Um." He feels his cheeks warm, giving you an embarrassed grin. "Not really?"

"Noah." You whine out. "This was your idea!"

"I know, I know!" He holds his hands up, face still on fire. "I'm sorry."

He can't even remember the title of the movie at this point. Some random indie film he had heard about on Twitter, that much he remembers. He's been wanting to watch it for weeks, but Jolly didn't seem that interested. He figured he'd watch it himself but when he brought it up to you, you immediately offered to watch it with him.

He didn't understand the feeling weighing on his chest then, but he sure as hell does now.

"It's honestly not that good, anyways." You hum out, reaching for the remote between both of your bodies.

"Yeah. It's kinda slow. Lost interest." He has no idea what he's saying, but figures it was the right option because you're nodding in agreement.

"Super slow. And the dialogue is so shitty. It'd be one thing to be slow but have a good enough dialogue to get the plot going, but it's lacking in both areas."

"Agreed."

He watches you click around on the remote to his TV, turning the movie off and immediately opening another app, flipping through the selection. His head tilts, brows furrowing.

"What're you doing?"

"Finding something else to watch." You say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, which it is.

"...Why?"

"Because we're supposed to watch a movie together."

Oh. "You don't have to-"

"I know I don't." You cut him off, glancing over at him. His heart rate picks up at the smile you give him, the softness behind your eyes making his chest feel funny all over again. "I want to. So, help me pick out something to watch."

All Noah can do is nod. He watches silently as you continue to flip through the movies, not daring to use his voice because he's scared of what might come out. Eventually you land on something he's seen about a thousand times but he doesn't object because you seem more than pleased with your choice. The triumphant noise you make has his stomach flipping and he can't help but smile at you.

Halfway through the movie, he barely realized how close you had gotten to him. He holds in a breath when he feels your press against his arm, shifting a bit to get more comfortable before your head falls against his shoulder.

He doesn't move.

And when you hadn't lifted your head after another twenty minutes, something in the back of his mind shouts at him to do something. He usually never listened to that voice, typically able to drown it out, but this time... he chooses to listen. Noah slowly leans his head against yours, letting out the breath he had been holding when you nuzzle yourself closer to him.

...

It's been months since that night and yet it's still the only thing he can think about.

You are the only thing he can think about.

Those feelings he was experiencing that were once silly and quite honestly ridiculous have morphed into something much more... serious. Noah isn't quite sure what to do about it. He isn't sure if there is anything he can do about it.

Jolly told him to suck it up and tell you, because "What's the worst that could happen?"

A lot of terrible things could happen, Noah thinks, and decides he'd rather keep this to himself. The longer he doesn't say anything, the longer he gets to spend with you, because he knows once your relationship changes... who knows how long he'll have until you eventually leave.

It's fucking pathetic, he knows it is. Not saying anything in order just to keep you close to him, but if that's what he has to do then he's going to fucking do it. He can't lose you. He knew it before he figured out these stupid feelings, and there's no way in hell he's losing you now.

Most times it's easy to do, to act like it's not there, even though every time he's around you there's a voice in the back of his head yelling at him to kiss you. Which is what's happening now, and the alcohol in his veins isn't helping the matter much.

You're all out, and there's no special occasion, just bored on a Saturday night. Nothing special is happening yet you look the most beautiful he's ever seen you, which says a lot because he thinks you're fucking stunning all the damn time. Tonight, though, there's something about you that he can't quite shake. He can't even take his eyes off of you, and he'll partially blame that on the alcohol, and then you.

The urge to touch you is almost unbearable and he can't stop himself from reaching out every so often, fingers brushing against your arm to get your attention. Nothing out of the ordinary between you two, but each touch almost drives Noah insane. At one point you were sitting together in a booth surrounded by friends and his hand was planted on your thigh, almost as if it was meant to be there.

You didn't say anything. Maybe you didn't notice, or just didn't care, but Noah did. He cared a lot.

You're now up and across the room playing a game of pool with a few other friends and Noah decided it was best for him to stay there, the burning desire to keep his hands on you too much. He's gotta fucking chill. His eyes followed you the entire time.

Jolly kicks him from under the table.

"Ow. What the fuck, man?" Noah's words slur as his eyes narrow at his friend who's currently giving him the most shit-eating grin.

"You're staring, lover boy."

His face flushes. "Fuck you."

"I don't think I'm your type." Noah rolls his eyes as Jolly leans back against the seat, raising a brow at his friend. "However, I do know who might be..."

"Don't start." Noah holds a hand up, lips pressing into a straight line. "Not tonight. Please."

He's a bit too drunk to even think about that, especially when he knows Jolly's just going to tell him the same thing. Tell her how you feel. Sounds so easy but it's far from it, and Noah knows that that is not a possibility - and never will be.

"She's staring, too, you know."

It's almost comical how quick Noah's head whips into your direction, his heart lodging itself in his throat when he finds out that you are staring. He sees the moment that you realize you'd been caught but instead of looking away, you give him a sheepish smile and wave. Noah can see the flush on your cheeks from a mile away and he can't stop himself from waving back, a smile forming on his lips to mirror your own.

Oh shit.

"She likes you." Jolly says in a sing-song voice, his accent a bit more prominent from the alcohol.

"Shut up-"

"All you have to do is tell her-"

"I'm not fucking telling her shit-"

"She liiiiikes you-"

"Dude-"

"You wanna kiss her soooo bad-"

"Jolly." The sterness in Noah's voice makes Jolly shut up, but that shitty fucking grin never leaves his face because he knows he's right - at least about one thing.

Noah does want to kiss you. So fucking bad. He can't stop thinking about kissing you, actually.

"I'm just saying." The older male shrugs, arms crossing over his chest. "She's still looking at you, man. Can't seem to look away. Maybe she wants to kiss you, too."

His friend's words have Noah's face heating up and his heart pounding beneath his chest. He tries to be as discreet as possible, eyes flicking across the room to find you again. He does find you staring again, choking on literal air the second he watches your tongue poke out and swipe over your bottom lip, before taking it between your teeth as you look away. His eyes land back on Jolly.

"Told you."

Noah's swallows down the lump that was lodged inside his throat. That didn't mean anything, could it? You were just staring at him... but you were staring at him almost like you wanted him? He shakes his head. No. That wasn't it. That couldn't be it. In no world would you ever... but... what if you could?

He blinks at Jolly's smirking face, not sure what to say. His mind was racing, the logical part of his brain battling with the very inebriated part of his brain. He should just leave it alone, brush Jolly off and stay where he is, but his eyes find you again. You're not staring this time, focused on your turn in the game of pool that you're still playing, and something inside Noah is tugging at him, urging him to go to you.

He looks at Jolly one more time and his friend just nods.

He's moving before he can really think about it, pushing himself up and out of the booth. His eyes are on you as you finish up your turn, head lifting up. He sees you searching, for what he's not sure, and then your eyes land on him making his way towards you. You smile, wide and bright, and his stomach twists.

Why do you look so happy? He wishes you would stop, his hopes rising higher and higher with each step he takes. He watches you hand off your stick to a friend, saying something to them and he reaches you just as you turn around, that same smile on your lips. You still have that slight flush to your cheeks and Noah's going to blame that on the alcohol from tonight, and not because of him, but his heart still pounds against his chest at the possibility of what if.

"Hi." You say softly.

"Hey."

"Was wondering when you were going to come over here."

Noah's eyes widened slightly. "Really?"

"Well, yeah." You shrug. "You were all the way over there. I missed you."

Your words hit him hard, crashing into his chest like a ten ton brick. All he can do is blink down at your smiling face, eyes twinkling. Not even an hour ago you were in that booth with him and Jolly, yet you still missed his presence enough to voice it. He tells himself it doesn't mean anything, can't mean anything, but your words are weighing on his chest and his mind is racing so fast he feels dizzy.

The urge to say what he wants becomes almost too much, his body heating up as the words get lodged inside his throat. There's two voices battling in the back of his mind, one yelling Tell her! while the other is screaming at him to Run! as both fight for dominance. In the end, he does neither, and instead stares at you in complete silence.

"You wanna play?" You either don't notice his complete silence or choose to ignore it, motioning to the pool table behind you. "You can go for me. I've been sucking so much this game."

He blinks at the table and then back at you. He wants nothing more than to stay, and he goes to agree but the voice in the back of his head stops him. All the possibilities of tonight's outcome flow through his mind and he has a feeling that if he stays with you the rest of the night, he's going to do something stupid.

And even in the inebriated state that he's in, that voice that's screaming at him to do something reckless, he can't risk that. He chooses to listen to the one screaming at him to run. He shakes his head and gives you a sad smile, and ignores his heart dropping to his stomach at the way your face falls.

"Nah, I..." He trails off, eyes moving towards the bar. "I was just getting another drink, and wanted to know if you wanted one? It's on me."

"Oh." Jesus Chirst, that didn't feel good. "Yeah, sure. Get me whatever you're drinking."

He nods wordlessly, giving you a tight lipped smile before heading off towards the bar. He doesn't glance back at you, can't seem to get himself to, but he can feel two sets of eyes burning through him as he walks. He knows one is you, and he doesn't think he can stomach that sad look on your face again, so when he waits for the bartender to get him what he wants he chooses to look the other way.

The other way is unfortunately Jolly, the older male frowning hard at him from across the bar. He's angry, Noah can tell that much from his body language alone, and for some reason that makes this that much worse. He swallows down those words that were stuck in his throat, trying to push them so far down that maybe he'll forget them, and sends the bartender the best smile he can muster up as he thanks them for the drinks.

He ignores the feeling of regret that's settling in the pit of his stomach, putting on that same fake smile as he makes his way back over to you and hands you your drink. Something clenches beneath his chest at the barley there smile you give him, mumbling out your thanks. You look like you're about to say something else but Noah beats you to sit, nodding towards the booth.

"I'm gonna head back over there if you need me."

Your mouth snaps shut, lips pressing into a thin line before nodding up at him. "Okay."

That same voice in the back of his mind that had just lost moments ago tries to break through again, yelling at him to do something about the sadness swimming in your eyes. He knows he's the reason behind it and he fucking hates it, the urge to fix what's wrong growing. Though he chooses to push it away for the second time that night and heads back towards the booth, Jolly's eyes on him like daggers.

Noah ignores his questions, suddenly growing too tired to speak or to even think about it any longer. He throws half his drink back before casting his eyes towards you again, heart sinking when he finds you not staring at him. Instead, you were looking down, lips set into a frown as you scrolled your phone.

That voice comes back, but this time to yell at him for fucking up. For not listening and to just do what it had asked. He doesn't listen, again, and shoves it away for the third time that night before throwing back the last half of his drink.

...

He doesn't know why you're here.

Or maybe he does, but he's been trying to let go of that feeling for the last few weeks now. There's no way you're here for the reason he thinks, so you standing outside his door has him confused.

Noah's head tilts. "Hey?"

You push past him immediately, toeing your shoes off by the entrance. He steps aside, after you brush past him, and continues to stare at you with that perplexed look - brows furrowed and eyes narrowed.

"Did I do something?" You whip around to face him. "We've barely spoken and I feel like I did something wrong."

"What?" His eyes widen, staring down at you. "You didn't do anything-"

"Then why have you been ignoring me?" You sound exasperated, and he can see the frustrated lines in your forehead as you glare up at him.

"I haven't been ignoring you." Yes he has, but he can't admit that. He swallows down the lie. "Been busy."

Noah sees the moment your eyes sadden and it feels like a punch to the gut. "Since when do we lie to each other? I didn't know we started doing that."

"I'm not lying-"

"Bullshit. You are." Your voice is raising now, your frustration going and Noah can see Jesse on the couch glance your way. "You're lying and you know it, Noah, and I don't-"

This time Noah cuts you off. "Can we talk about this upstairs?"

His eyes flick towards Jesse again who definitely was now eavesdropping, and his roommate's eyes widen before turning his attention back to the television. Noah's eyes land back on you, pleading to go up to his room.

"If I do, will you tell me the truth?"

His stomach turns violently at that because he knows he can't. He can't tell you why he's been ignoring you, why being in the same room as you physically fucking pains him, and why he has to keep conversations short in fear of saying something that'll ruin everything.

He nods, swallowing thickly.

"Yeah. I will."

He has about thirty seconds to come up with a damn good lie.

You eye him for a moment, tongue pressing against your cheek before nodding. You don't wait for Noah to follow you, already halfway to the stairs. He catches Jesse's gaze and he can only shrug before he finally follows behind you, letting you lead him to his room. He shuts the door behind him quietly as you sit down on his bed, arms crossing over your chest.

"Talk."

Noah's never heard you so serious before and that makes his stomach turn, swallowing down the lump beginning to form in his throat.

What does he say? He didn't come up with a good lie like he had planned, the thirty seconds it took to get to his room not being enough time.

"Um."

Your eyes on him are overwhelming, burning into his skin. He stands in the middle of his room, hands wringing out in front of him as he tries to slow his mind down to come up with anything to say. A beat passes, and then another, until at least a minute of complete silence has gone by.

Nothing. He has nothing.

"I don't know what to even say."

Your gaze on him hardens and another beat passes before your arms fall to your sides, shoulders sagging. You wave him over and Noah hesitates before he sees the pleading expression behind your eyes, and his feet move before he can think of it. He sits beside you, but keeps his distance, and you turn your eyes away from him, sighing softly.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable that night."

Noah arches a brow at you. "What?"

"That night. When we all went out? You started acting weird after that, so I'm assuming it was because of how I acted and I'm sorry. I just... I thought..." Your words trail off and your head drops, a weak chuckle falling from your lips.

"I'm confused."

"Jolly just told me something that night." You sigh, hands wringing in your lap. "I... I thought what he said was true so I..."

Noah doesn't say anything, continues to stare at you with that same confused expression because he has no idea what the fuck you're talking about. What did Jolly tell you? It could have been anything, and that thought alone has his stomach twisting with nerves.

"I... He... I thought you liked me? Which sounds fucking crazy to say out loud, but he really made it seem like you did, so uh. I was trying to, I don't know, let you know that I felt the same? Which obviously didn't work," You look up from your lap to stare at him, lips dipping into a frown, "or did, which would explain why you're ignoring me."

It feels like Noah's world comes to a stop. There's no fucking way you just said what you did. His heart pounds so hard against his chest he swears it's going to pop right out, and there's ringing in his ears that he wishes would just fucking stop.

You like him? You. Like. Him.

And Jolly told you that he liked you? He's not sure if he should thank his friend or beat the fuck out of him, because he never confirmed out loud that he did. He also never denied it, and Jolly was known to be able to figure out everything. Noah's still not sure how he does it.

He blinks at you. "What?"

"Maybe I read too into it," You continue, eyes dropping back to your lap. "I just. I thought... You wouldn't stop looking at me. And earlier that night you wouldn't stop touching me. I thought maybe he was right?"

Noah feels like he's going to pass out at any second.

"Or maybe he had just meant you liked me as a friend? I don't know, and I find that pretty cruel because he's known about my feelings for you for forever and-"

"Feelings?"

"-and that would be really fucked up of him to lie about something like that and-"

Noah says your name suddenly and you pick your gaze up once again, mouth snapping shut.

"What do you mean by feelings?"

"...I feel like it's pretty self explanatory." You sound so small, like you're afraid to even admit to it. "I like you. Have liked you. For a while now."

“Since when?”

“…Forever? Don’t act like you didn’t know, I was pretty obvious. Everyone else knew.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

He feels dumbfounded, staring at you with wide brown eyes and parted lips as if you just told him the secret meaning to life.

You like him.

You - his best friend - have feelings for him. Noah's mind races instantly, trying to understand the meaning behind your words because even though you just plainly spelled it out for him, that voice in the back of his head is telling him that he heard it wrong. You don't mean it in that way. You can't. You're you and he's him and it just doesn't make sense why you would and-

"Noah?"

He's still staring.

"I'd really appreciate it if you said something." He blinks at you and his stomach drops at the nervous expression you're giving him, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.

The problem is that Noah doesn't know what to say. How can he tell you that he feels the same? He doesn't remember a time where you didn't make his heart race just by merely being in the same room. There was never a time where he didn't search for you when things got tough, when all he wanted was to be shut away from the world with you because you made it feel just a bit better. He can't even think of a time where you didn't make him smile just by the sound of your laughter.

There was never a time, he slowly thinks, and his stomach twists at the sudden realization that he's always felt like that about you. From the beginning. From the very second he met you he has been enamored by you, even though he's always told himself it was nothing.

"I..." His mouth opens but nothing else comes out, words falling short.

"You can let me down." You say gently, your smile not quite reaching your eyes. It's almost sad, actually, and he hates the pitiful feeling it gives him. "Just go easy on me."

"I don't..." His words catch again and he has to clear his throat, eyes flicking off the side because he suddenly can't look at you. "That's not what I want to do, I... I just don't know how..."

To say it. He has no idea how to even get across what he feels for you because truthfully, there's no words in the English language to even explain his emotions. And speaking of those, they're becoming a bit suffocating right now, the walls in his room are slowly caving in and-

"Hey. Look at me, please?"

He can't stop the shiver that rolls through his body and has to force himself to blink towards you, seeing your once sad smile much more timid, and he swears he sees something wet flash behind your eyes.

"It's just me. You can tell me anything, remember?"

"That's why it's so hard." He manages to get out, voice thick. "Because you're you, and I'm me, and we're..."

His words trail off yet again and he can't help it, casting his eyes to the side again. He can't look at you, heart pounding beneath his chest because it's too much, too fucking much, and even though there's a part of him begging for him to just say it, there's still another part warning him to protect himself.

"I know." Your voice is so soft. His eyes flutter shut and he sucks in a deep breath. "I know, but I'd never lie to you. Especially about something like this. You know that."

Your words press into his chest so heavily he has to physically catch his breath.

Yes, he does know you wouldn't lie to him. Not about this and honestly about anything. Yet, that mean voice in the back of his mind is telling him it's still too good to be true. That this is all some sick and twisted game you're playing, and somehow Jolly is in on it too.

"I know, I just-"

"Noah." He doesn't open his eyes when you call for him, not even when he feels the ghost of your fingers against his cheek. He flinches, actually, body tensing at the touch. "Fuck. Sorry. I'm sorry. Can I touch you? Is that okay?"

He ignores the tremble in your voice and instead counts to ten in his head, head nodding on the last exhale. Your touch is back in seconds, just a ghost of a feeling, and he finds himself leaning into it until your hand is pressed firmly against his cheek.

"...Can you look at me?"

He thinks for a moment, stomach twisting at the thought of looking at you right now and decides that that may not be the best idea. He shakes his head.

"I don't know if I can."

"That's okay." Your reply is rushed, and Noah shivers at the feeling of your thumb brushing against his cheek. "Just listen to me, okay?"

"Okay."

You heave out a sigh, thumb never stopping it's motion, "I really like you. Like like you. That feels so elementary to say but it's true. I know you're my best friend, but I really... I really like you, Sebbe. So fucking much, and... and I don't know if you feel the same, and it's okay if you don't, but I just wanted - no, needed - to tell you."

Your words hang in the air and Noah thinks he's stopped breathing. All he can hear right now is his pounding heartbeat that's rushing through his ears and he swears you can probably hear it too. What does he even say to that? He can't even think clearly, and he sure as hell can't think of a proper response to you.

A beat passes, and then another, before his eyes flutter open. Your thumb hasn't stopped moving against his cheek and he's thankful, because he thinks the touch is the anchor keeping him afloat. He blinks.

"...Are you sure?"

You stare at him, brows furrowing and your thumb stutters for a beat that has his heart plummeting for a split second before the motion comes back.

"Am I... sure?"

"Yes." He swallows thickly, trying his best to keep his eyes on yours. "Are you sure?"

The realization dawns on you then, face relaxing at you understand what he's trying to ask. You know enough about him to understand his fears, especially with something like this, and he's thankful he doesn't have to verbally express that out loud.

"Yes. I'm sure." You sound confident in your answer, eyes locking with his. "One hundred fucking percent."

For some reason, those words are what suddenly muffles the voice in his head telling him to run. It doesn't disappear completely, but it does shut up just enough for him to feel like he can fucking breathe. Warmth spreads throughout his body, and his chest feels kind of funny but in a good way, so he welcomes the feeling.

"Okay." Noah sees the moment your entire body relaxes, shoulders sagging in relief. The smile on your face widens just a bit, and softens around the edges, thumb still moving against his cheek. His lips twitch at the corners. "So, um. You...?"

Something flashes behind your eyes. Affection? He doesn't know, but whatever it was made his stomach flip in the most exciting way. You nod.

"Yeah. I do. A lot." Your smile only widens at that, and he feels his own begin to form. "Do uh... do you?"

Oh. He still hasn't said it. He opens his mouth, shuts it, and then opens it one more time before coming up short again. Why were words so hard? It seemed so easy for you to just out right say it. I like you. It feels like it should be easier now knowing that you said it first, knowing that you felt the exact same, yet it was like all words escaped him.

Your eyes search his face and your smile is nothing short but gentle. You're not saying it but he knows this is you silently encouraging him, but also letting him know he can go at his own pace. You've always been so patient with him, letting him take his time to do the right thing, or to get back on track, and he thinks he owes you enough to at least try and say something.

Noah nods slowly, and that same look from before flashes from behind your eyes. "Yeah. I do."

It's like time slows down after that, the two of you lost in your own world. Even though it wasn't the exact words he was looking for, it was something, and the look on your face and the wetness building behind your eyes was indication that that was good enough.

He lets out the breath he was holding.

"Good." You blink away that wetness building in your eyes, your smile so blinding that it has Noah's heart clenching beneath his chest and warmth spreading through his body again. "I'm glad, or else this would be really awkward right now."

He chuckles, low and breathy. "Well, I'm glad it's not."

"Me too."

Your thumb strokes across his cheek again and Noah lifts a hand up, fingers wrapping around your wrist to keep you there. He watches you lean closer, his beating heart racing once again at the close proximity.

"Should we thank Jolly?" You hum out and Noah swears he sees your eyes drop from him down to his lips before dragging back up.

"Please don't talk about Jolly right now."

You inch closer. "Why not?"

"Because I don't wanna think about him when I kiss you."

Pride flares beneath his chest at the instant reaction from you, cheeks twinging a slight shade of pink and eyes widening. Noah's eyes drop as your lips part and the urge to kiss you claws at him, screaming at him to just fucking do it. It seems like you are going to say something but he doesn't wait to hear it, and finally listens to the voice in his head.

His eyes squeeze shut the second your lips meet, too scared to keep them open in fear of this being fake. He just made it all up. It's not until he feels you kiss back, the pressure of your lips on his almost bruising, that he realizes that this is definitely not made up. Warmth spreads through his body as your lips move together, and he's never enjoyed kissing so much until this exact moment.

You pull back after a beat to catch your breath but Noah doesn't wait, instead leans back in to brush his lips against yours. His fingers tighten around your wrists to keep you there and the breathy chuckle you let out against his mouth has his stomach turning, that same warmth spreads throughout his chest.

For the first time in his life, the voice in the back of Noah’s mind is completely quiet.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfic #mine

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gassydumbjocks · 7 months ago

Text

Virilite 1.1:

Boys will be boys

Training Liam to be the perfect manly dude he was meant to be was more fun than i thought, i kept trying a lil more commands on him, some even to humble him a bit making him do embarrasing stuff he'd NEVER do and he'd just obey without hesitation.

This was just getting better, and better, and again i thought of what Noah would think of this when he'd see Liam being no more than a puppet for the amusement of the commander.

After making him burp out the entire national anthem and laughing my ass off at him, i heard some steps from upstairs coming, Noah came at our weekly gathering to watch the game together while having some beers, i had to think of a good excuse for Liam, or maybe should i just tell him it was the best?

"Dave, where did ya put-... Oh, you're with... Liam?" he said scratching his neck, confused, Liam and i rarely interactued, let alone just the two of us, but this was going to be different from now on.

"Uh, yeah, we were just waiting for you here" i lie returning to the couch hoping he'd buy it .

"Sure, ok then" he simply shrugs it up "i was looking for him upstairs too, Liam, can you help me bring all the food and drinks?" he asks his son, and as he gets no response he raises an eyebrow "Son?"

I quickly intervene "Leave him, i can help you with that" i say but he ingnores it "No, i want him to do it besides... Why is he so, vacant?" He notices Liam is just sitting in a static position, no movement from him, and also his empty look "Liam you alright?" he asks again, and as expected, no response.

"What's with him all of a sudden?" he suddenly asks me, and i gasp a bit. He looks at him again, and then notices the bottle of Virilite pills that were still at the table "Virilite? What's that?" he says now focusing on them taking the container.

"Noah, i can explain this, those are some pills i bought, for Liam, you see?" i admit "They are meant to turn him into a real man, just as you and me always wanted, look, just let me show you" i try to explain him.

"Pills?! But, Dave- what the hell? What do you even mean?" he asks starting to frown a bit, i quickly take the container and show him the instructions.

"See? These have effects on the behavior and even actions of whoever that takes them, and even affects the increase of testosterone on him! He'll be in a trance-like state and you'll just need to command him do anything you want" i say, he still giving me a killer look.

"Noah, this can help you to finally lead him the right way and turn him into a good straight man, dont tell me you didn't seek for a miracle to change him so he'd finally like to bond with you" i say, and he just stays silent, proving my point.

"Even so, what can i "command" him to do?" he asks shrugging, and i smirk "anything brother, i already had a lot of fun at him, just watch this" i say and look at Liam, who letted out a goofy laugh again oblivious we were talking about him "Liam, i want you to make a cup fart with your own hand, and then you'll smell it" i smirk waiting for it.

We see Liam reaching his hand to his butt, and after some seconds, he grunted squinting an eye and dropping out a huge bomb of a bassy fart on hid own hand palm.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

I burst into laughter while Noah still reacts to what just happened, dumbfounded "did he... did he just fart?" he asks, and to top things up, we then saw how Liam with that now eternal dumb expression in his face took his hand to his nose, and sniffed deeply, before laughing again, making me almost cry of how amusing this was for me.

"And that's not all, Liam, show Noah that trick i trained you to do" i command and Liam gets in action for his thing, first, i trained him to let out a loud burp with his hands cupped in his mouth, then he'd play as if he was juggling with it, he'd swallow the belch again, and when his stomach recieved the burped out gas again in his stomach...

BOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRPPPP!!

...

PPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

I chuckle and go to him to give him some well-deserved pats in the back "good boy, very funny Liam" i praise him with a huge smile.

"Bro, what are you waiting for? Just try and make him do something you always wanted him to, any manly stuff works" i say again and he looks at his son, reflecting.

"I admit i always wanted a son i could call a real man... Ok, but just for a bit! I dont want my son to always be this...somehow extremely gassy zombie thing" he says waving his hand, the gas must have hitted him by now "Goddamn, did you fed him something to make him this gassy or what?" he asks coughing.

"Nothing, just pure pill effect, and I know right, its so potent, i even had to open a window earlier, but we'll get used" i joke "also i wouldn't worry, i readed in the website the trance state isn't permanent, they give you a certain amount of time so you can "program the person" as your like, then they'll come back to normal again, just with the new antics and persona you implanted on him, Liam will now love to join us in our belch offs or our protein farts competitions in our boys nights during the matches huh?" i giggle

"Guess this can work" Noah said, finally putting just a small, very slighty smirk on his lips, while patting his son's back, eager to finally enjoy the company of a son that could make guy stuff with him.

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omensandwonders · 6 months ago

Text

best friend!noah headcanons

a/n: not proofread word vomit i hit out in 15mins because FUCK i need a man like noah (if not noah) in my life

sfw:

♤ you guys probably met online through streaming or gaming, or maybe at a con who knows

♤ after a few months of friendship you moved in with noah and the boys

♤ life is chaotic but so much fun with them (i wouldnt be shocked if that house gets almost set on fire multiple times (has already happened on stream))

♤ late night gaming and deep talk sessions

♤ blasting music at full volume because why the hell would either of yall want to listen to your own thoughts HELL nah

♤ if you have long hair, he's stealing your hairties and clips. deal with it

♤ makes sure your favorite ice cream is always at the house

♤ even if you dont help him write music too often, you usually just lounge around somewhere in the background while he works, ready to give feedback when he wants it

♤ im coping ik BUT HES THE PERFECT CUDDLE BUDDY. istg look at him he is BUILT to cuddle and be cuddled-

♤ a hug from him would fix me

♤ sorry im getting off track

♤ if you havent seen star wars, hes forcing you into a marathon

♤ late night horror movie marathons

♤ within days of living with each other yall catch each other staring. regularly (i mean i would tf)

nsfw:

♤ the sexual tension rises until it finally snaps one night when the other boys are out and you both smoked a joint together

♤ long story short yall end up on his bed, clinging to each other and lazily fucking the night away, limbs tangled and hands grabbing whatever they could reach

♤ after that, his casual touches increase ten fold, gently grabbing your hips to pass by you, putting an arm around your waist or shoulder, holding your hand to pull you through crowds

♤ LOTS of jealousy sex

♤ youre not dating, but a guy flirts with you? even worse, you give him his number? the second youre home youre getting bent in half and pounded through the mattress

"gonna fuck that attitude out of you, make you remember who you belong to- even if you dont, that fuckin pussy will, gonna ruin you for anybody else-"

♤ would fuck you on every surface in both of your rooms

♤ eats you out on the couch, casually rubbing lazy circles on your clit while watching a movie, grinding into you first thing in the morning when he wakes up

♤ kinda perverted with it, grabbing a handful of your ass when nobodys looking

#bad omens #bad omens smut #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian #word vomit #he would fix me #i just know it #sigh

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roosterforme · 2 years ago

Text

The Younger Kind Part 21 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You were clearly terrified. Bradley promised he will take care of you, and he is determined not to let you down again. And maybe this will be his only opportunity for you to hear him out.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, excessive drinking, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more!

"Please come get me."

Your voice sounded so helpless. Bradley was already reaching for his jeans as he said, "I'm coming. Where are you, Princess?"

"I don't know," you sobbed. "At a party. At a frat house. I don't know!"

Fucking hell. You sounded like you were wasted. "Do you think you can share your location with me?" He was trying his best to keep his voice calm.

"Yeah," you told him so softly, he barely heard you. "They ripped my dress. They kept touching me, and Ollie ripped my dress. And I'm so scared, and Greyson thinks it's funny."

Bradley's blood ran cold. He didn't know who Ollie was, but he sure as hell knew about Greyson. And you sounded more than scared. You were clearly terrified. "Who was touching you?" he demanded, grabbing a sweatshirt and his wallet.

"Ryan. And Ollie kissed me. It wasn't even rum. And I can't find Lexi."

You were sobbing harder, sniffing as your voice shook. Bradley was going to dismantle every fraternity house in San Diego before he let anything happen to you. Before he let anyone else touch you. "Can you lock yourself in a room? Maybe a bathroom?" he asked frantically.

"Bradley, please come get me! I don't want you to be sick of my shit," you moaned. "I want you to want me still."

"Baby, I do still want you. Can you send me your location?" He needed you to focus on that much, and he could take care of the rest. As soon as he knew where to find you, he'd make sure he did.

"Yeah," you told him again. "I think."

"I need you to send me your location, okay? Can you do that now?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"Okay," you whispered. Bradley tied his shoes and ran to Noah's room to scoop him up out of bed. After he nearly dropped his phone, he heard it ping with your location.

"Good girl," he told you, and you whimpered. "Now where exactly are you in the house? Are you alone?"

Bradley carried Noah out to the Bronco and buckled him in his car seat as quickly as he could.

"I'm in a closet."

He figured that was better than you being openly intoxicated in front of the frat boys who sounded like they wanted to take advantage of you. "I'm on my way, okay? I'm coming to get you." He could just picture you crying inside a closet, too scared to figure out what to do. And the thought killed him.

You whimpered again as you said, "I miss you."

Bradley's heart was aching with need. "I miss you too, Princess. I'll come get you, okay? Then we'll be together."

"Yeah," you sighed. "And I can color dinosaurs with Noah."

"You know he loves that, Baby. Noah loves you." He was fighting to keep the panic out of his voice, not wanting you to be more upset than you already were.

But now you were sobbing again, and Bradley drove faster. He ran a red light. He nearly hit a curb. He drove as quickly as he could toward Penny's house.

And then you whispered, "My phone's dying. Please come get me!"

"Hang up, Princess. I'm on my way, I promise you. Keep texting me and telling me you're okay until your phone dies. And stay in that closet."

After you promised him you'd stay exactly where you were, you ended the call, and Bradley called Penny. He was sure he woke her up, but it didn't matter.

"I need you to take Noah. Right now. I'm almost at your house."

When he pulled up, Penny was in her robe on the front porch. "What's going on?" she asked, clearly alarmed as Bradley carried Noah to her. He kissed Noah's curls as his sleepy son climbed into Penny's arms.

"You owe me after Helen!" he told her, and he knew she still felt guilty. "I need to take care of something!"

She just nodded and turned toward her front door with Noah. Bradley was back on the road toward the address you sent him immediately. His phone lit up with a text from you, letting him know you were okay.

He was five minutes away, cutting around double parked cars and laying on his horn. He got another text from you a minute later, but then the texts stopped. He called you, but you didn't answer. When he tried calling again, he got your voicemail immediately.

"Fuck!" he shouted. This was all his fault. You shouldn't even have been messed up with his bullshit in the first place. He'd never forgive himself if something happened to you tonight. You deserved to be worshipped, not dragged through this kind of shit.

Then he found the house, and it was an absolutely raging party with loud music and people spilling out onto the front yard. And Bradley thought for a second that if you were no longer alone, nobody else would be able to hear you crying for help.

He was out of the Bronco before he could think about that any further. You were inside, and he was going to find you and deal with these guys accordingly. He ran up through the students hanging out on the porch, shoving bodies out of his way as he entered the house. The floor was sticky. There was a topless girl dancing in the corner. And it was dark enough that Bradley's eyes needed to adjust so he could see. There were so many people in the living room, he wouldn't even be able to find a closet.

As he scanned the room, his eyes settled on Greyson's lanky form and blond hair, and his fists clenched involuntarily. Bradley bodily moved people out of his way to get to Greyson, and when he was close, Greyson looked up at him, his eyes flashing with recognition.

"Where is she?" Bradley demanded, inhaling and exhaling each ragged breath as Greyson just looked at him. "Tell me, or I'll fucking level you right now."

"I don't know, man," Greyson mumbled. He looked and sounded drunk, and Bradley took him by the front of his shirt and slammed him hard against the wall. Finally his eyes were more alert as he looked up at Bradley in shock.

"Do you remember now?" Bradley asked, pushing against his throat with one big hand.

"She was with Ryan and Ollie," Greyson gasped.

"Well then were the fuck are they?"

"Upstairs."

He let go, and Greyson slid down the wall, but Bradley was already heading for the stairs and taking them two at a time. There was a line of people waiting for the bathroom, and some guys were smoking a joint. He called out your name once and then again even louder. A few people turned to look at him, and the guys smoking the joint started laughing.

"Everyone's looking to get in on the action," said the smaller one with a laugh that made Bradley see red.

"Where is she?" Bradley growled, voice shaking as he stormed toward them.

"Man, if I knew where she was, I'd be all over it," he replied lazily. Bradley smacked the joint out of his hand and stomped on it.

He shoved the smaller, talkative one against the wall and kept an eye on the bigger one. "Are you the one who touched her?"

The bigger one laughed and said, "Not as much as I was hoping to."

Bradley released his friend and punched the big one right in the gut and watched him sink to the floor, coughing.

"Did you drug her?" Bradley asked, stepping down right on his hand until he was nearly screaming.

"No! And we stopped touching her! I swear!"

Bradley removed his foot, and he grabbed at his hand. "Holy shit," he groaned as Bradley rounded on the smaller one again.

"Where is she?" Bradley shouted.

"Sorry, man," he mumbled to Bradley, eyes wide as he held up his hands. "That bitch ran away. Or she's hiding somewhere. We didn't do anything."

If you were still hiding, Bradley would find you. He shoved past the guys and opened the first door he came to. There was a girl making out on the bed with some guy, and at first glance, Bradley thought it might be you.

"What the fuck?" the guy shouted, but Bradley went right for the bedroom closet, nearly ripping the door off the hinges. He pushed the clothing aside and tossed some boxes out onto the bedroom floor. You weren't there.

He found another bedroom, but this one was empty, and when he opened the closet, there was nothing inside except for crates of bottles of alcohol. He called your name a few times as he opened a hallway closet and tore it apart.

"Princess!" he yelled, opening the door at the end of the hallway. He was going to lose his mind if he couldn't find you. Your phone battery was probably dead. Who knows if you were still alone. Anybody could have found you by now. It had been too long since he heard your voice.

He tore into the room. It was lit by soft lamp light, and the closet door was on the adjacent wall. Bradley threw it open, letting the door shudder against the wall. The space was dimly lit, but he saw your shoes right away.

"Princess," he gasped, sinking down to his knees and moving the cardboard boxes that you were hiding behind. Your knee was cut open, sticky blood drying on your shins. The top of your dress was shredded on one side, your breasts exposed as you lay curled up tight. "Oh my god," Bradley whispered, reaching for you to see if you were unconscious.

He pulled you close to him, and your eyes fluttered open slightly. "No," you whined, trying to crawl away on your bloody knee. "Leave me alone." He could hear the tears in your voice as you kept shaking your head.

"Princess. It's me, Baby."

"Bradley?" you asked quietly. Your face softened as you took a deep breath and opened your eyes fully. Then you were scrambling into his arms, and your face was buried against his neck as you sniffed and sobbed.

"I'm right here," he promised in a steady whisper. "It's okay. You're safe." For the first time in the last thirty minutes, Bradley sighed in relief and let his pulse start to calm down. "I have you."

"I'm sorry," you gasped, your voice breaking on the words. "I didn't know who else to call."

He kissed your forehead and examined your face, cupping your chin with his hand. "You call me. You always call me, okay? I will always come for you."

You nodded at him, and he kissed your cheek. Fear and relief were written all over your pretty face. You couldn't keep your eyes open, and every time they closed, your head started to lull to the side. He tried to move you to sit on the floor, but you just squeezed him tighter and started to panic.

"Take me home," you begged, and Bradley kissed your forehead again.

As he rubbed your back, he very gently asked you, "Did those boys come up here? After you ran away to the closet? Did anyone else touch you?"

"No," you replied, kissing his neck and calming a bit. "I just hid. Please, take me home."

"Yeah," he promised. "I'm going to take you home. But let me put my shirt on you first."

He took his UVA sweatshirt off and had to hold you up and thread your arms through the sleeves while you cried, but at least you were covered up now. Then he gently took your hands and wrapped them around his neck, and your cheek came to rest on his shoulder. Then he picked up your little purse and tucked it between your body and his.

"I wish I could be with you," you told him, your lips brushing against his neck as he stood up with you clinging to the front of him. "With you and Noah." His heart was going to shatter, because that was the only thing he wanted. Just you and his son in his life. Permanently.

He wrapped his left arm around your back and grabbed your thigh with his right hand. "I'm going to take you home. Take care of you," he promised, holding you tight and kissing your cheek softly as he carried you out into the hallway.

It smelled like someone had lit up another joint, and the music was much louder out here. But there was no sign of the two idiots as you held onto Bradley's neck and whimpered. "Please, take me home."

He carried you down the stairs and out the front door, not bothering to stop before he had you in the Bronco. He set you on the seat and pulled your dress down over your thighs before buckling you in. The back of your head met the seat softly, and your eyes closed. You slept while Bradley drove you to his house, stealing glances at you every few seconds. Your face was serene now, but the evidence of your tears was painted on your cheeks, and he could still hear your frantic voice.

"I love you," he whispered when he was parked in his driveway. You started to stir when he leaned across the console and kissed the top of your head. "I'll take you inside."

Once he had you scooped up in his arms, he carried you to the front porch. He had to set you down so he could unlock the door, and you immediately clung to the side of his body as you swayed on your feet.

"You're okay, Princess," he promised, guiding you inside with his arm wrapped firmly around your waist. His sweatshirt was baggy on you, and Bradley couldn't keep himself from kissing the top of your head over and over.

"Where's Noah?" you asked when he led you down the hallway. "Bradley, where's Noah?" You sounded scared and concerned, and he took your face in his hands again. God, you were perfect, always concerned about Noah.

"He's with Penny, Baby. He's okay."

"Okay," you agreed, turning and going into the bathroom. Bradley closed the door for you to have some privacy, and then he went to get the first aid kit out of the kitchen. When he carried it back to the bathroom, you were just opening the door.

"Have a seat," he whispered, closing the toilet so you could sit down. He got a washcloth wet with some warm water. Your eyes were slightly out of focus as he knelt in front of you and started to clean up the blood. "Did you fall, Princess?" he asked, reaching for your hand and kissing your fingers. All he could picture was the asshole frat guys chasing you around and making you trip.

"I don't know. I think so," you told him softly, your eyes closing again, eyelashes brushing your cheeks. He watched you bite down on your lip when he cleaned your knee with cotton and some antiseptic. Then he put a large bandage over your cut and kissed you there.

"Princess," he whispered as his lips met your thigh.

You whimpered softly and threaded your fingers through his hair, and he melted into your touch. Then you lurched up off of the toilet, nearly knocking him over as you opened the lid and emptied the contents of your stomach. He held you in his lap and rubbed your back while you got sick over and over again. At least this would probably help you sober up and start feeling better.

"I'm sorry," you whispered after a few minutes. "I'll clean it up." You were wiping your face with some toilet paper and trying to catch your breath, and when you flushed the toilet you turned to look at him over your shoulder.

"I'll take care of everything," he promised, and you started crying again.

"I don't even want you to look at me right now," you whispered as you tried to squirm out of his lap. "Oh my god, did I interrupt your date?"

Bradley closed the toilet again and made you sit there, the look of mortification on your face had him rubbing circles along your calves with his thumbs.

"No. There's nobody except you, Princess. It's been that way for a long time."

But you just shook your head and buried your face in your hands. Bradley sighed and stood, digging around in one of the drawers to find a brand new toothbrush that you could use. He filled a disposable cup with some water and opened up the Sesame Street toothbrush.

"Come here," he whispered, coaxing you to stand as you looked up at him in embarrassment. You were perfect, and he loved you, and he was trying not to fuck this up. He squeezed some toothpaste onto the toothbrush and handed it to you. "I'll go get you a glass of water and some Advil. You can sleep in my bed."

A few minutes later, Bradley had you in his room, and he was helping you out of his sweatshirt. You just looked up at him like you were surprised he was there as he pulled your ruined dress over your head. The sight of you in front of him, perfect in nothing but your pink lace underwear was the only thing keeping him sane right now. Because once again he wanted to drive back to that frat house and beat the shit out of everyone.

"Daddy?" you asked softly, and Bradley's entire body heated up. Your lips parted and your eyes went wide at his guttural groan. Quickly he slipped his sweatshirt back over your head and helped you with the sleeves.

"You can sleep in here," he whispered, kissing you just below your ear as he pulled back his bedding for you to climb in. He watched as you wiggled your way to the middle of the bed and sank back against the pillows.

He turned to leave when you called his name. "Bradley. Where are you going?"

"I'll sleep on the couch," he told you, running his hand along the back of his neck. But you peeled back the covers, and the sight of you in his sweatshirt and your little pink panties had him weak.

"Stay with me," you whispered, your eyes wide and uncertain. He nodded, helpless to tell you no. He took off his undershirt and unzipped his jeans, and you watched his every move as he pulled them off, one leg at a time. When you held out your hand, he took it and climbed into bed next to you.

He pulled you close to his body and inhaled the sweet wildflower scent that still clung to your hair. And almost instantly, you were asleep in his arms.

----------------------

Your head was pounding, and for some reason your knee hurt. But you were warm and comfortable, and everything smelled nice. You swallowed against the dry feeling in your throat and tried to open your eyes. Where were you? What happened last night?

Your body tensed up, sending your head into a state of throbbing pain, because you felt an arm tighten around your waist. Something was brushing against the back of your neck. You weren't wearing your own clothing. When you opened your eyes and didn't immediately recognize where you were, you panicked.

"No," you whispered, scooting away from the arm as tears sprang to your eyes. You got completely wasted. You were trashed last night. Ollie and Ryan. The party. Your dress. They touched you. Ollie kissed you. "On no. Oh god."

Tears were sliding down your cheeks as you turned to see that you were with neither Ollie nor Ryan.

"Bradley!" you gasped as he stretched and licked his lips. After a few seconds, his eyes went wide, and he sat up.

"Baby, are you okay? Do you need the bathroom?"

You sat on the edge of the bed, half turned toward him, completely stunned. You had called him. From inside the closet. After you tripped and gashed your knee open. You looked down at the tidy bandage and found yourself wearing his soft sweatshirt and your underwear.

When you looked back at Bradley, still stunned that you were at his house, let alone in his bed with him, he must have noticed your tears. "Hey, it's okay, Princess," he muttered, sitting up all the way and reaching for you.

Before he could touch your body, you blurted out, "You picked me up from the party? Did we have sex last night? Where's Noah? Is he with Helen? What's going on?"

Bradley's eyebrows shot up. "Noah's with Penny. I found you in a bedroom closet at the party, and I brought you home. And no, we did not have sex."

You took a deep breath and nodded, your eyes catching on your purple crown where it seemed to have taken up permanent residence on Bradley's bedpost. "I can barely remember what happened," you whispered, studying the crown. "Were you out last night when I called you?"

"No," he replied easily. "I was right here. Alone in my bed. Thinking about you. Hoping you'd give me a chance to explain what happened."

You looked at him. "You were thinking about me when I called you?"

Bradley nodded, his big, brown eyes studying your face. "I'm usually thinking about you, Princess. You and Noah, all day long."

When you whimpered, you saw Bradley's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. His hand was resting palm up on his bed, patiently waiting for you to take it. But you couldn't. You just honestly could not.

"You wanna talk?" he asked you softly. When you nodded, you watched him climb out of bed and pick his undershirt up off of the floor and put it on. You were still teetering on the opposite side of the bed, unsure about what you even wanted to say to him. But he eased himself back against the headboard and never pressured you to move.

"Where's Helen?" you asked softly, turning to face him.

"I have no idea," he replied, his gaze fixed on you. "I haven't seen her since she left my living room about five minutes after you did on Thursday night. And I'm not dating her. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not going on dates. You are the only one, Princess. And I promise you, there would be a title attached to us right now if I were allowed to have what I want." He inhaled and exhaled slowly before he added, "I think you need some sort of reassurance here. Right?"

You nodded again as he ran his fingers through his hair. He leaned a little closer to you, and you weren't sure you could take much more. You felt tired, confused, wrung out. Half of you wanted to ask him to take you home, the other half wanted to pull him close and never leave.

But then he simply said, "I love you."

His words hung in the air between you both, like something physical he wanted you to hold. You looked down at his hand, still resting on the bed and then you looked back at his gorgeous face. "What?" you whispered so softly, you weren't sure you really said anything.

"I love you, Princess," he promised in his deep, steady voice that made you feel so comfortable. "And I should have been honest with you from the first time you watched Noah. Because I've been falling in love with you since then. I didn't need to go on any of the app dates. I didn't need to waste my time or yours. Jake was right about you. I should have made things official ages ago. Should have had you on display for everyone to see how much I love you."

When you said nothing in response and just gaped at him, he started to pull his hand away from you. Oh how badly you wanted to reach for him!

"Nothing is going on with Helen. I barely know her. She works for Penny. And I guess," he started, shaking his head and looking down at his hands, "she's been interested in me. She got Penny to set up a date on Thursday night. Penny lied to me when she told me she and Mav wanted to meet me for dinner."

"What?" you asked, eyes going wide. That didn't sound like Penny at all.

"Don't worry, Penny and I already had it out over the phone. I know she worries about Noah and I being lonely, but she's never going to pull something like that again." He looked at you and shook his head, brow creased like his words physically hurt him. "I just hate that you think you can't trust me now. I promise you can."

Your lip was shaking as more tears filled your eyes. You brushed them away before they could fall, and then you crawled across the bed as he opened his arms for you. Bradley wrapped you up tight against his warm body and you settled on his lap like this was where you belonged. He kissed your forehead softly and rubbed your back through his sweatshirt.

"You feel like telling me why you went to that shitty party last night?" he asked in his Daddy voice, sending shivers through your body.

Your face was buried against his scarred neck, and your voice sounded tiny as you admitted, "I was trying to forget about you."

"I don't like the sound of that," he said, his voice getting a little gruff while his hands remained soft. "You promised me no more college boys, remember?"

"Never again," you swore. Then you kissed him once on his jaw. "You saved me. You came when I called you."

His arms tightened around you as he whispered, "I always will."

----------------------------------

Princess, forgive Daddy! Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !

PART 22

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runningincircl3s · 26 days ago

Text

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Nine

masterlist

chapter warnings: uhh none?? :)

hey i'm sorry for the late post!! i got back from a trip super late last night and i just wanted to sleep lmao BUT i love this chapter so much :)

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

It had been a long journey, you had spent six hours in the back of a van squashed between Noah and Bryan, Folio hadn’t shut up the entire trip and Jolly had spent the whole time snoring behind you. You were glad Noah had his airpods in, he was in his own bubble during the trip, avoiding any possible bickering.

You weren’t sure where you stood with Noah right now, after his apology a few nights ago. You knew it wasn’t the magical solution to everything, but you hoped it meant something, until he began complaining that your suitcase for the weekend was too big and heavy, and you feared you were back to square one.

“Oh… FUCK!” Matt exclaimed suddenly from the driver's seat, making everyone look around in confusion.

“Everything okay?” Ruffilo asked, and Matt shook his head.

“How many of us are there?”

And right in that moment, you knew exactly where this was leading.

It was a repeat of the last tour.

“...There’s seven of us.” Bryan counted.

When Matt finally pulled up at the hotel you were staying at for the weekend, he checked the bookings.

“I’ve booked 4 rooms with a king-size bed, and one with two small beds.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, although you worried you already knew the answer.

“I didn’t know you were coming with us when I booked it… You’re gonna have to stay with one of the guys.”

“Who’s sharing the two-bed room?”

“Me and Nick,” Ruffilo said from the passenger seat, “So unless you wanna top and tail?”

“Bry?” You almost pleaded, “We’ve shared a bed before?”

“Yeah, as kids,” he laughed, “To be real with you… I plan on not sleeping alone this weekend.”

“Gross,” you scowled, “Jolly?”

“Nicole’s staying with me, she’s coming down with Alyson later.”

“Fuck.” You curse, resting your head in your hands.

“That leaves…” Folio smirked, everyone’s attention turning to Noah.

“Oh hell no!” He shook his head.

“C’mon, man, y/n was kind enough to let you stay with her last time! It's time to repay the favour.” Bryan said.

“Things were different then.”

“C’mon, it’s the only other option. I just checked and all the rooms are booked tonight.” Matt frowned.

“I swear to God, I will fire you if this happens one more time, Matt.” Noah groaned, dragging a hand over his face, “I guess if it’s just for the night, and if it’s the only other option, you can stay with me if you want.”

“Who says I want to stay with you.” You smirked.

“Well, it’s either my room or the hallway, take your pick.”

…

The elevator in the hotel was broken, which should’ve been the first sign that this weekend wasn’t going to go well, but you still stayed optimistic. Noah couldn’t bear to listen to you complain for three more flights of stairs, so he took your suitcase up along with his, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip as you watched his muscles flex.

As soon as you caught yourself, you tried to avert your gaze, settling on the carpet of the stairs. A dark grey that desperately needed vacuuming.

When you finally reached the fifth floor, you were out of breath, trudging along slowly behind Noah, who had no issue whatsoever with the stairs, even with two suitcases.

“Noah,” you panted, “Wait…”

He stopped to turn around and glare at you as caught up with him, halfway down the hallway.

When you finally stepped into your room, you were hit with deja vu. It had been a year now since your tour with Bad Omens, a year since you first had to share a hotel room with him…

You stared at the bed. The one bed.

One king-sized bed.

He set you case down and you both got unready for the night, showering, getting changed, brushing your teeth, and then you were forced to ask the question.

“Well?” You cross your arms. “Where are you sleeping?”

Noah snorts.

“Where am I sleeping? I booked this room.”

“Matt booked this room, actually.”

“Yeah. For me.”

You groan, dropping onto the bed, still sitting upright.

“I can take the couch.” You said.

“There isn’t a couch.”

You glance at the sad little accent chair in the corner, then back at Noah.

“Fine. I’ll take the chair.”

Noah raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah? Good luck with that.”

You glare at him but don’t argue. Instead, you grab some spare blankets from the closet, drop them onto the chair, and sit down with all the stubbornness in the world.

Noah watched you struggle to get comfortable for about five minutes before he sighed dramatically.

“For fuck’s sake.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “Just get in the bed.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No! You said it’s your room, your bed!”

“Jesus Christ.” He started, “Stop being so fucking stubborn and get your ass over here.”

You hesitate. The idea of sharing a bed with Noah, after everything, is like playing with fire. But the chair is already digging into your back, and your pride only goes so far.

“…Fine.” You sigh, bringing the pillows and blankets from the chair with you.

Noah shuffled over, throwing back the covers for you to get in. You acknowledge it with a brief smile before laying down, facing away from him and getting comfortable.

The room was quiet, except for the faint hum of the air conditioner and the distant sounds of the city outside. You lay in bed, staring at the wall in front of you, pretending to be completely at ease, though your mind was anything but calm.

Noah’s presence beside you felt… different. It wasn’t the same as the last time you’d shared a room, a year ago, not at all. There was an unspoken tension in the air, thick enough that you could almost feel it pressing down on your chest.

You tried to focus on the sound of your own breathing, steady and controlled. But Noah’s movements, subtle as they were, kept pulling your attention. He shifted a little, the rustling of the sheets faint but enough to remind you of how close he was. That he was in the same bed.

Finally, you couldn't help it. You turned your head slightly, enough to catch a glimpse of him. He was lying there, on his side, facing away from you as well. His back was to you, but you could still feel the energy between you.

“Can’t sleep?” His voice was quiet, a low rumble in the otherwise still room.

You hesitated, unsure whether to admit the truth. But something about the way he said it made you want to open up.

“Yeah. It’s just hard to turn my brain off." You replied softly, even though that wasn’t the whole truth. It wasn’t just your brain, it was everything about this situation.

Noah didn’t answer at first, but you heard him shift again, and before you knew it, he was moving closer, just slightly, as he rolled onto his back. He didn’t touch you, but the proximity was enough to make you tense up.

“Y’know,” he began, his voice almost teasing, but there was an edge to it, “I’ve spent way too many nights on tour with you to know when you’re lying.”

You wanted to retort, to push back, but instead, you stayed silent, unsure of what to say.

After a moment of silence, Noah exhaled, a deep, frustrated sigh.

“I know we’ve got a lot of shit between us, but…” He trailed off, as though trying to find the right words.

You felt your heart beat faster at the uncertainty in his voice, but you didn’t know how to respond either.

“But?” you finally asked, turning your head slightly more toward him.

Noah was staring at the ceiling now, his hands tucked behind his head. You couldn’t see his eyes in the darkness, but you could tell he was really thinking about what he was about to say.

“Forget it." He muttered, turning away from you slightly, putting more distance between you.

But you couldn’t ignore it.

“No,” you said, your voice firm but quiet as you turned the bedside lamp on. “What were you going to say?”

He didn’t answer right away, but you could hear his breathing shift.

“I just…” He stopped, frustration evident in his voice. “I just don’t want things to be weird between us anymore.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and for a moment, it felt like the room was closing in around you.

“I don’t either..." You replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

Noah finally turned toward you, his face soft in the dim light.

“I know we’ve both fucked things up,” he continued, his voice almost a whisper now. “But I want to figure this out… whatever this is, and move on.”

His words hit you harder than you expected. You couldn’t deny that the tension between you both had been lingering, festering for so long. And now, in this moment, it felt like you were on the brink of something that could either tear you apart or pull you closer than ever before.

You swallowed hard, trying to collect your thoughts.

“I don’t know how to fix everything,” you said honestly. “I don’t even know if it’s possible.”

Noah stayed quiet for a few moments, as if mulling over your words. Then, in a movement that surprised you, he reached across the bed, closing the space between you. He didn’t touch you yet, but his hand hovered, palm up, a silent invitation for you to decide.

You stared at his hand for a long moment, your breath caught in your throat.

It felt like everything was about to change, and the weight of that realisation pressed down on you.

Finally, you let out a breath, and with that, you reached out.

Your fingers brushed his, and the contact sent a wave of warmth through you, familiar, yet new.

Noah’s hand gently enveloped yours, and for a while, neither of you said anything. The silence was no longer awkward, it was just heavy with things neither of you had the courage to say.

But you couldn’t stop the question from creeping into your mind. It had haunted you for months, lingering in the quiet moments when you were alone, and now, lying here next to him again, it demanded to be voiced.

You swallowed, then whispered,

“Do you really hate me?”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. You almost thought he had fallen asleep, until you heard him exhale, a slow, measured breath.

“No.” He said quietly.

You swallowed, you hand squeezing his a little.

“Then why does it sometimes feel like you do?”

“Because it’s just been easier that way.” His voice was softer.

“Easier?” Your brows furrowed.

“Than the alternative.” He said, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand.

“And what’s the alternative?”

Noah hesitated, pressing his lips together. He looked like he was waging a war with himself, debating whether or not to let you in.

Then, finally, the walls he had tried to build cracked, and it wasn’t long before they fell.

“The alternative is admitting that I never ever stopped caring about you.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “That no matter how much I wanted to hate you, I just… couldn’t.”

Your breath hitched whilst Noah let out a dry laugh, shaking his head.

“I tried, you know? I tried to be mad. To convince myself that you weren’t worth it. That it was better this way.” He glanced at you then, and for the first time in a long time, you saw him, not the guarded, bitter version of him you had gotten used to, but the Noah you used to know. The Noah you fell in love with. “But the second I saw you again, at Matt’s wedding, it all went to shit.”

Your heart clenched painfully in your chest. You had no idea what to say- what could you say to that?

But before you could say anything, Noah let out a slow, frustrated breath.

"Y'know... I hate the way you always have to be right."

"...What?" You blinked.

"I hate the way you always find a way to weasel out of an argument," he continued, ignoring your confusion. "I hate the way you hum to yourself when you're editing photos. I hate that stupid little smirk when you know you're pissing me off."

You frowned, about to retort, but he wasn’t finished.

"I hate that no matter how much distance I tried to put between us, it never felt like enough. I hate the way you make everything feel like home, even when I don’t want it to." His voice grew softer, more vulnerable. "I hate how beautiful you look, without even trying, and I hate the way you still make my heart fucking race, even now."

Your breath hitched.

Noah finally turned to face you, his expression unreadable and his voice barely aboev a whisper.

"You dragged me through hell and back, but I could never hate you."

“Noah…”

A moment of silence passed between the two of you, as if he had just realised what he said, how many secrets he had just shared.

He sighed, dragging a hand down his face, pulling his hand back from yours.

“Forget it.”

But you couldn’t. Not after that.

Not when, for the first time in so long, it finally felt like you were getting somewhere.

You sat up, taking his wrist, moving his hand away from his face so you could look at him.

“I’ve missed you.” You whispered, swallowing past the lump in your throat, like this was the first time you’ve really seen him since everything happened.

His eyes flickered to yours, a look of hesitation, longing, maybe even regret in his own. His jaw tightened, like he was trying to swallow down whatever words threatened to spill out.

Noah exhaled sharply, shaking his head.

“Don’t.” His voice was quiet, rough around the edges.

But you didn’t let go.

“Why not?”

“Because…” He shut his eyes for a second, “Because I’ve missed you too. And I don’t know what the fuck to do with that.”

Your breath caught in your throat. The space between you felt both too small and impossibly wide.

“You don’t have to do anything, Noah.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Just be here. Right now. With me.”

A long silence stretched between you, heavy with words unsaid. Then, finally, something in him softened.

Noah’s fingers moved, hesitant at first, before he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. The touch was light, fleeting, but it sent warmth curling in your chest.

Neither of you spoke again. You didn’t need to.

Because for tonight, this was enough.

For the first time in months, you let yourself lie back down and fall asleep with a smile on your face. And as for Noah, he felt like there was a weight lifted off his chest, and he slept through the night for the first time in a year.

…

The first thing you register when you wake up is warmth. The second is the steady rise and fall of a chest beneath your cheek.

Noah.

Shit.

Your eyes widen, and for a second, you forget everything- where you are, what happened last night, and why the hell you're tangled up in Noah like it's the most natural thing in the world. But then it all rushes back. Every word.

You stay there for a moment, listening to his slow, even breaths, before carefully untangling yourself. As soon as you shift, Noah starts to stir. His arm, which had been draped over your waist, falls away as he groggily blinks at you.

For a beat, neither of you speak.

“Morning.” He mutters, voice thick with sleep as he sat up.

“Morning.” Your throat feels tight, so you busy yourself with standing up and stretching like nothing happened. He follows your lead, getting out of bed with a quiet sigh.

Neither of you mention the way your fingers brushed when you both reached for your phones at the same time. Neither of you mention the way he watched you for a second too long in the dim morning light.

It’s easier this way.

You both get ready for the day in silence, and you wonder whether he was really regretting opening up to you last night. Maybe you should just pretend you don’t remember what was said? Or maybe you should be the first to say it meant nothing.

But just as you were both about to leave the room, Noah spoke up.

“Hey.”

You pause in the doorway, turning back to him. He’s standing there, hands on his hips, jaw tight like he’s forcing the words out.

“I meant what I said last night.” His voice is quiet but firm, “Every word.”

Your heart stutters in your chest, but before you can respond, he brushes past you, leaving the room like the conversation never happened.

By the time you get to the van and join the others, you’ve convinced yourself to play it cool. Keep things normal. Act like nothing happened.

“So,” Folio wiggled his eyebrows, “How was last night?”

You stretch your arms over your head with a groan.

“I had to hold myself back from smothering him in his sleep, I thought Jolly was the only one that snores.”

“You could’ve always slept in the hallway if it bothered you that much.” Noah smirked.

“I was gonna sleep on the chair! You insisted on sharing a bed.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I didn’t want to listen to you complaining about your back hurting all weekend!”

The guys laugh, and just like that, everything is normal again. Easy.

It didn’t feel like there was a life changing confession last night, and maybe that was Noah’s intention. Maybe he was finally ready to fix things between you.

Maybe he was finally ready to forgive you.

…

It was the first day of the festival, and although Bad Omens weren’t playing today, they had a couple interviews to do. Noah was wandering around with a hat and sunglasses on- his attempt at a disguise, but the black tank top he wore was doing nothing to cover up his tattoos, or his arms…

You quickly looked away, not wanting to get caught staring at his biceps as you knew none of the guys would ever let that go. They seemed surprised when the two of you held a conversation with no arguing earlier

“I’m getting a drink, you guys want anything?” Noah asked.

“Could you get me a coffee?” You asked, giving him your sweetest smile so he wouldn’t say no.

“Iced caramel latte?” He raised an eyebrow, and you nodded your head.

“You know it.”

After finishing the interviews, the guys were free to do whatever they wanted for the rest of the day- so you decided to drag Folio around with you to see your favourite bands. Noah and Matt joined you for a few of them, and as Holding Absence were just finishing their set, you turned to Folio.

“Spiritbox is on in like five minutes, we need to run.”

“We’re not gonna get a spot as good as this, y’know,” he said, “Did you see how many people were at that stage earlier.”

“Eh, we can push our way through.”

“Y/n. I’m Nick Folio. If I push my way through a crowd-”

“What? Two people will recognise you? C’mon move your ass!”

“Wait you wanna see spiritbox?” Noah asked, taking his hair off to run a hand through his hair.

“Yeah… You coming too?”

“I was thinking about it.” Noah smirked, “Wanna come with me? I’m going on to do a song with them so you could watch from the side?”

“What?” Your jaw dropped as he mentioned it so casually, “You’re shitting me.”

“...No, I’m serious? I need to leave right now so you better make a choice.”

You nodded and looped your arm around Noah’s, waving a goodbye to Matt and Folio as you practically dragged him along with you.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, everything felt normal. Like nothing had ever happened.

The walk to the backstage was quick, mostly because you were half-jogging in excitement. Noah kept pace beside you, quiet, but you noticed the way his mouth twitched into a grin every time you glanced his way.

Your stomach fluttered, not just from the thrill of skipping the crowd, but from him. He was being so casual about it all, like he hadn’t just offered you a front-row view of one of your favourite bands, like he hadn’t just walked you past thousands of people like it was the easiest thing in the world, when just a few days ago you thought you were his worst enemy.

He led you up the metal stairs, past crew members in headsets, and into the shadows of the stage. From this angle, the sea of people stretched endlessly, a dense mass of energy and noise and flashing lights.

You turned toward Noah, breathless.

“This is insane.”

He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, the corner of his mouth curled up.

"As if we didn't play to a bigger crowd last year."

"I had my camera then! Not to mention I saw you guys play almost every night, this is fucking Spiritbox!"

"Wow, great to know you love our band!" Noah smirked, and you shoved his arm.

The opening notes of the first song played, and your whole body lit up. You started bouncing on your toes, caught up in the moment, when you realised he was still watching you.

“What?” You asked, laughing.

“Nothing.” He looked away, but not fast enough to hide the softness in his expression.

Courtney’s voice tore through the air like lightning. You swayed with the music, adrenaline buzzing, but the second she thanked the crowd and started talking about a special guest for the next song, your chest tightened.

Then the lights cut to black.

Noah pushed off the wall, turning toward you. He gave you a smirk and then he was gone, stepping into the lights as the opening to Soft Spine played.

And holy shit.

"You all deserve each other!"

You'd forgotten how he looked on stage. He didn’t look like the Noah you’d seen pacing through green rooms or fighting sleep on van rides. He wasn’t the boy from last night’s quiet confession or this morning’s awkward truce. On stage, he was something else entirely. Confident. Dangerous. Magnetic.

It reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place.

The black tank clung to him, riding up slightly as he moved. The veins in his arms flexed with every word he screamed, every time he gripped the mic like it had done something to offend him. He stalked the stage with Courtney like he owned it, and the crowd, thousands of them, screamed like he did.

And that’s when it hit you.

You weren’t just still attracted to him.

You were still in love with him.

-------------------------------

@bloody-spades @death-ofpeace-ofmind @miss570 @dominuslunae @dontwantthemoney @amelia-acero @noahslutbastian @blade-dressed-in-red @super-btstrash-posts @kait16xo @oobleoob @sunshine-lvrr @lacy1986 @enemiestolovershoe @samanthasgone @superpiratecriminalchef @lukeevangelista @lunabuna991 @ami--gami @bluehairpunklol @darknightstarryeyes @xxkittenkissesxx @renegadebirch

#★blood sport #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian imagine #noahsebastian #noah sebastian fanfiction

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dsireland86 · 9 days ago

Note

LOVE YOUR ONE SHOTS BESTIE

I have a lil request for another Noah one..

So like we all know that that man would 100 percent talk you through it right? 😭

So all im saying is best friend Noah.. Mut mastubate situation

🫣🫣

Sorry I live for the best friend Noah trope 🤪

Bestie🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶 I love best friend (with benefits.... hehehe) Noah, too!

Can I Talk You Through It?

Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lacy1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @kenjipepsi1 @blackveilomens @chey-h @disappearintothegrey @jilliemiw86 @pathion @fear-its-beauty @an0mallly @potterheadquinn @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @montgomery-929494 @missduffsblog @lilcazy011 @Lonelydragonlady @Mattysbitchvic @athenexe @pipidoll @flowery-mess @bloody-spades

The feeling is insatiable, an overwhelming need and hunger that can't be quenched on your own. You're trying, but something's missing. It feels good, and you've brought yourself to the edge plenty of times, but never has the stimulation taken you completely over.

"Y/N!"

Noah's voice up the stairs scares the crap out of you. Quickly, you sit up and search for your short, unable to find them fast enough before your bedroom door swings open.

"Y/N, what are you,"

You grab the nearest blanket and throw it over yourself, hoping it covers your secret.

"Shit! Noah!" "Oh! Sorry," he apologizes, but you know it's not authentic.

Hanging your head because you can't bear to look Noah in the face as you try to recover from almost giving yourself your first orgasm, you're afraid that your vulnerability can be seen and it's nerve racking.

"What's wrong?" he asks, letting go of the door handle and letting himself into the room. "Are you alright?"

You shake your head knowing your cheeks are blood red.

"What's wrong? What happened?" "Nothing," you mumble. "Then look at me," Noah begs, standing in front of you.

You don’t respond, let alone raise your head.

"Hey," he says, shaking you by the arm a little. "It's nothing. Just forget it."

When you finally raise your head and look up at Noah, you see the genuine concern on your best friend's face and give him a half smile.

"What did you need?"

Noah's brows crease in confusion, unwilling to drop the subject.

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you. You seem really flustered. Did something happen? Or not happen," he asks, his perfect lips forming into a soft smile.

You want to tell him, you really do, but you're way too embarrassed to.

"Um, yes and no, but it's fine. Really, forget it," you say, shaking your head slightly. "What, a, what are you, were you going to tell me? What were you yelling for me for?

"Alright. Fine, don't tell me."

Noah's scowl is so Noah, and it makes you giggle, and when he smiles at you, your heart starts racing and a familiar tingle warms you on the inside so well that you feel your wet arousal seep between your thighs.

"What?" "What," you shrug, trying to hide the shakiness of your voice. "Alright, something's seriously up with you! Spill it."

Noah has always been the observant type, never letting anything about you go unnoticed, so it shouldn't surprise you like it does that he knows something's up.

"No," you lightly laugh, shifting on the bed. "Nothing is going on. I'm just," but you hesitate, unsure of your next words. "Just what?"

You look up at Noah again, and the tingling feeling hits you again.

"Fuck!" you curse, covering your face. "Okay, this is stupid. Get up and come with me. I need to show you something," Noah orders, grabbing your hand and almost pulling you off the bed.

You panic, remembering you’re not wearing anything under the blanket and pull away from his grasp, almost screaming the word “no”.

"What the hell, Y/N!"

Noah turns back and looks at you, eyes wide with surprise, as you fix the blanket over your lap.

"I can't come with you right now." "Why not?" "Because! I just can't, okay," your voice fades slowly as you look away.

Noah comes closer to you, so close that you can smell his cologne on the bright yellow hoodie he chose to wear today. The way his brow furrows as he looks around your sitting area tells you he's thinking hard about what's happening at the moment.

"Get up." "No," you scowl. "Why not? Get up," Noah orders, a small smirk forming in the corner of his mouth as he pulls on your arm again.

"Noah! Stop!" you yell, holding on to the blanket, but part of it falls when you accidentally step on it as you try not to fall, revealing most of your bare bottom.

Scrambling to gather the blanket, you fall back onto the bed once you do, absolutely traumatized by what just happened. You're too embarrassed to look up at Noah because you already know what he's just seen.

"Well, damn." "Noah, just don’t, okay," you say pathetically, shielding your face with your hand. "What? All I was going to say is you have a really nice ass. That's all."

At first, you think you didn't hear him correctly. Risking a glance, you find an amusing look on your best friend's face, and for a moment, your embarrassment simmers.

"What?"

Noah raises an eyebrow and smiles.

"I mean, I'm not gonna deny that I've never checked out your ass before, but seeing it with nothing covering it, damn," he chuckles, "yeah, it's pretty nice."

You stare him dead in the face and try not to laugh, knowing he's just doing what a good best friend would do.

"Oh, whatever," shaking your head. "Look, if you're not going to tell me what you wanted, then maybe..."

"Why aren’t you wearing any pants?"

You stop mid sentence at Noah's question.

"What?"

Noah reaches for the blanket, but you grab it tightly.

"Where's your pants and underwear, Y/N?" "I, um, they're..." but you can't find the right words to say.

Noah comes up to the side of the bed so that his waist is eye level with your face, forcing you to stare at what's directly in front of you until he lifts your face with his finger beneath your chin. A sudden burst of stimulation that you've never felt before hits the center of your sex and it almost feels as if you could reach the high you've been aching to feel right then. You feel your arousal gather between your folds as you clench your teeth together.

"Aww, you're blushing," Noah teases. "I Like that look on you."

The playful look on his almond shaped eyes has your core aching.

"Come on, tell me what's going on, Y/N. And don't say nothing is. I'm your best friend. I know you better than you think."

You try to look away, but Noah won't let you.

"It's stupid, really stupid. And it's not your problem, so I won't burden you with it." "It can't be that bad." "Oh, it is. Trust me. And it's really embarrassing, so yeah." "Okay, fine," Noah sighs, sitting down next to you, implying he has no interest in giving up the game. "If you won't tell me, then I'll guess."

Your heart hammers against your chest.

"Fine. Good luck," thinking he'll never get it right.

Noah's big hand touches the side of your face, his tattooed touch sending chills throughout your entire body as he turns your head to face him. His long thumb, calloused on the pad, caresses your cheekbone as he looks from your eyes to your lips to your lap, then back up to your eyes again. The tip of his tongue sticks out between his thin, moistening them perfectly.

"You were trying to make yourself have an orgasm, weren't you?"

Your heart plummets to the pit of your stomach. How did he know? And why is he looking at you like that? The slight twinkle you see shows Noah's amusement, making you more nervous than before.

"Oh god, no," you shake your head, pulling away from the grip Noah has on you, "shit, no, it's not what you think. I, uh," but your denial comes out all shaky, and now you're even more confused than before

"Y/N," "Look, Noah, I think, uh, you should go," "Y/N," "I need a second to clear," "Y/N!"

You stop speaking and look up at Noah, fighting back the urge to cry. The small grin you see settles your stomach slightly, but you still feel like you're about to pass out from all the embarrassment you feel.

"What?" "It's okay," Noah says softly, reaching over and caressing the side of your face. "What?"

Noah laughs softly.

"It's fine. It's a normal thing to do." "No," you disagree, shaking your head. "No?" Noah asks, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "No, not for me, it's not." "What do you mean?"

You wipe away the single tear that manages to slip out and lower your face in shame.

"Come on. It's me, Y/N; your best friend. You can tell me," Noah encourages.

Sniffing and clearing your throat, you try to make your thoughts make sense.

"I, uh... I can't."

"You can't. You can't what?" Noah asks gently, laying his hand on your leg that's covered beneath the blanket.

"I mean, I can't make myself have an orgasm," you confess, twirling your fingers.

"Seriously? Like ever?"

The genuine surprise you hear in Noah's tone only makes you feel worse, and you start to cry out of pure humiliation.

"Yes, seriously! I've tried so many freaking times, and I just can't, and it's frustrating as hell!"

You're trying not to yell "at" Noah, but you're just done at this point, wanting to hide under a rock for the rest of your life.

"Okay, easy, killer. It was just a rhetorical question," Noah kids, earning him a slap in the chest.

"God, this is so fucking embarrassing," you cry in frustration sniffling and wiping your eyes with your hands. "Hey, relax, it's not that big of a deal," Noah urges, caressing your back.

His touch sparks every fire burning inside you, and you're not sure if it's his touch alone that's doing it or if it's just the unquenchable need you have at the moment.

"Easy for you to say. Guys can just whip it out and do their thing and be completely satisfied in just a few minutes. I've been trying this for months now, ever since the last time I had...," but your voice drops, realizing what you were about to confess.

"Since what," Noah asks softly, moving closer to you.

With his one hand still on your lower back, he reaches over with his other and slips it inside yours, threading your fingers together. You swear your ovaries explode inside you from the feeling and how Noah has nestled up beside you as if wanting to be as close to you as possible.

"Noah?" you whisper as his lips come down softly on your forehead and leave a small kiss behind. "Since when, Y/N? Since the last time you had sex with that shitty ass boyfriend of yours?" "Ex-boyfriend," you correct Noah after clearing your throat. "Whatever. The point is that it was four months ago. You're telling me that was the last time you had an orgasm?"

You groan, dropping your head into your hands again.

"Hey, look at me," Noah orders, pulling your shoulders back and lifting your head so he can see you.

Noah's eyes are full of so much emotion that it's hard to read them all. But you see the small little half smile that brushes across his lips briefly as his thumb strokes the skin of your cheek.

"Can I talk you through it?" "Huh? What?"

Noah continues to stare at you, his face expressionless.

"Talk me through what, Noah?"

But you feel like you might already know the answer to the question.

"Let me talk you through making yourself cum," he suggests, his face dead serious.

At first, you can't say anything because you don't know what to say, but the longer you look at Noah, the more you know he's serious. You swallow hard, closing your eyes for a moment then opening them again.

"Why?" you whisper. "Because you deserve to feel amazing."

It's the little smirk at the end of his words that does it for you.

"Alright, fine," you agree before you lose your courage. "Good answer," Noah says approvingly, getting up to close the door and lock it.

You're so nervous you think you might get sick, so you start breathing quickly, in and out through your nose then your mouth.

"Hey it's alright. You keep breathing like that, you might end up hyperventilating. This is meant to feel good, alright? Lay down. Relax,” Noah urges, caressing your hair before helping you lay back into your pillows.

Your eyes meet and you can see the genuine care for you that you've always seen in his and it eases your mind a little.

"Are you sure about this, Noah? Isn't this weird? Friends don't usually do this kind of thing with each other and, I mean, isn't this going to change stuff between us now? I'm not sure if I'm ready for my heart to go through..."

You're silenced by the weight of Noah's lips on yours. At first the kiss is hard and dry, one that you would deem a typical friend on friend kiss. But then Noah breaths in and opens his mouth, leaning in closer to you as you follow his lead as if by some magnetic force. His tongue slips slowly into your mouth and you allow him access, returning his touch as if it's the most natural thing to you in the world. Your hands slither around his neck as he finds the small of your back and pulls you up closer to him, allowing the blanket to slip from off your lap. Noah pulls back and looks at you, his usually soft brown eyes, now darker, and for a moment the two of you just stare, wondering what the other is thinking, before realizing what's just happened.

"But we're friends," you remind Noah. "I think we've been past the point of friends for a while now, Y/N," Noah confesses. "Ever since the night your shitty ex broke up with you and you kissed me right here on your bedroom carpet," he grins, looking down at the spot below his feet.

Noah's right. You've known it all along, and it's the reason why pleasuring yourself has been so difficult.

"Now, relax, and let me talk you through this, okay." "Okay."

Finding a spot where you're finally comfortable, Noah tells you to close your eyes. As you do, he helps you bend your legs until your feet are flat against the mattress.

"This is only going to work if you relax and keep your eyes closed." "Alright." "Do you trust me?"

A warm smile spreads across your lips, making Noah's heart flutter.

"Yes, Noah, I trust you." "Can I touch you?"

You want to open your eyes, but know this will all work better if you don't. Noah is trying to help after all.

"Yes. You can touch me."

Noah places his hands on your knees and tells you to let them fall open. You hesitate, naturally, but then you do and hear the quick intake of breath that comes from him and the quiet curse that slips through his lips. It makes you giggle a little.

"You're beautiful," Noah whispers and for a moment it feels like the world stops spinning. "Thank you," you manage to say through a crack in your voice.

He takes your hand and brings it your sex, placing your fingers over your center.

"The first thing you should do is visualize; a scenario, a place... a person," Noah begins.

You grin and clear your throat, shifting slightly.

"Once you've done that, you're going to ease the tip of your finger in between your folds, just like that, and back out to produce some wetness. Good. Now each time, go in a little further, a little deeper," he coaches gently.

Using your middle finger, you follow Noah's instructions, already feeling your arousal building from the vision inside your head, coating your fingers.

"Now, when you're ready," he adds, gently taking you by the wrist as you pull your finger out, "add another finger," lining up your pointer finger next to your middle and guiding your hand back to your center.

Slowly, you slide them inside you, feeling the tightness and pressure yet because of the vision you have playing out in your head, all you can feel is what your imagination is telling you. It's powerful enough to make you moan softly, yet not enough to get the reaction that you're needing.

"You need to do this a few times," Noah encourages, placing his hand around your wrist, pushing and pulling with you as you move your fingers in and out of yourself.

The whimpers come and fall like quiet little prayers. But it's still not enough.

"Alright, finally, you need the stimulation. Bring your other hand," he says, taking it and placing it where he thinks it belongs, "and place it right there on your pretty little clit. Perfect. Now, massage gently in small slow circles as you continue doing what you're doing with your other fingers. That's it. How does that feel?"

You're completely breathless, unable to process the feeling that's quickly building inside you. The fire in your lower abdomen is one you haven't felt in so long and the feeling is incredible. You moan, bite your bottom lip, arch your back and just when you thought you'd never be able to, you reach your climax as your much needed orgasm crashes into you like a tidal wave. Once it's over, you lay back against your sheets, breathless and with a pound heart.

"Well, how was it?"

When you open your eyes you aren't quite sure what you expect to see, but when you meet Noah's eyes, and you see the spark in them that you do, it makes the stimulation you just felt a million times more wonderful.

"It was euphoric," you grin, following it with the cutest little giggle Noah's ever heard. "You're really adorable you know that," he says, running his finger down your cheek after he hands you your shorts and panties. "Hmm, really?" "Really." "And dare I ask how it was watching on your end?" you ask timidly, hoping you haven't overstepped.

Noah pauses to think and then smiles.

"Euphoric," he answers right before tackling you and engaging in one of his infamous Noah tickle fights.

Some things really never do change.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian one shot #noah sebastian fan fiction #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #bad omens fanfiction

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kenzan-brainrot-mp4 · 3 months ago

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More pirate yakuzer ending ranting (I have been so unwell literally all day over this fuckass game it's not even funny)

It's so fucked up to me that pirate yakuza technically had a "perfect ending". Like you literally have one of the most upbeat endings to a yakuza game I can think of; everyone won, none of the protagonists' allies/friends/family had to die to make it happen (INSANE concept for a yakuza game I know, rgg should be proud of themselves for that one), they found the damn treasure and kept it all without tearing each other apart over it, Noah got to fulfill his dream without getting traumatized, the Rich family's relationship is. Well idk if it's completely fixed but it's certainly better now. AND Majima got payback on that fuckass squid that made him lose his memories. And Majima Construction's getting back off the ground to help wrap up the whole ex-yakuza conflict as a neat little bonus.

Like, in terms of conflict resolution, this is as good as it's gonna get like ever. Straight up fairytale "the real treasure was the friends we made along the way" levels of success right there. Pretty much Any other Yakuza game would Never give you an ending this clean without any heartbreak to agonize over. Or at least that's how it Seems, for like 98% of the ending sequence, and then the game throws some of the most gut wrenching shit ever at you.

Majima was literally able to (again, without ANY losses) accomplish everything he could've possibly wanted in Hawaii. Except the One Thing he sought out to find when he left for Hawaii in the first place, before the game even started. He ran off to chase after a fantasy, and you know he did basically find what would be a fantasy to anyone else, but it wasn't the one he was looking for.

The hard dose of reality in the last few minutes of the game was a Crazy move. Pyih as a whole lowkey felt like a fever dream, but that last scene, the dawning realization of Why Majima was going to Hawaii in the first place was like waking up and realizing that things still kind of suck in the real world.

Also just like. The theme of dreams in general? (Oh my god it's like yakuza 5 all over again no way). Noah's dream to see the world, Jason's dream to finally find that treasure, Rodriguez's too while we're at it, etc. Literally everyone got their dream fulfilled on that fuckass adventure despite how hopeless it all seemed at the start. Or at least, almost everyone's. Majima's dream before he got amnesia was equally as hopeless and absurd if not more, because he, technically, should know better. In any other circumstance if someone told Majima Goro that there was some magical treasure that could make you live forever and Also hopefully cure cancer he'd laugh in their face, but the way Saejima described his actions made it seem like he was, really, dead serious (or just desperate. Definitely desperate) on trying to find it. And well, we all know how that turned out. Hell its even worse because basically according to Saejima, Majima's dream was so much bigger than just that treasure, it was Kiryu himself. And we all know how hopeless That's been for who knows how long at this point. (Something something "guys our age are supposed to be smart enough not to go chasin' legends." something something Kiryu constantly bring referred to as the "legendary yakuza/dragon")

(On a sidenote, it's so fucking funny to me that everyone on Nele Island (including Majima if he hadn't gotten amnesia on the way there) was basically going "*rubs hands together* I'm going to look for this secret ancient treasure behind the others' backs and Not tell anyone else about it" all at the same time. That's pretty fucking hilarious, if I ignore the absolute agony of the Majima Implications. I love you pirate yakuza you were such a game)

And then as if all that wasn't enough, the game makes sure to give you an extra kick in the dick by basically telling you that the "eternal life elixir" that everyone was looking for was under their noses the Entire Time. They were literally All There where it was, and now it's at the bottom of the ocean, and the only man who knew about it is dead.

Not that it really mattered by then, for the mostpart. Everyone who was after the treasure had basically made their peace that the legend they were hunting after wasn't gonna be there. Jason and Noah, most notably, decided that they ultimately didn't need it, because Noah would be fine, and his condition wouldn't hold him down. Like he said, it could be a lot worse. But considering Majima's. Dubious amounts of peace he's made with Kiryu, and the fact that he, out of everyone in the crew, was left in the dark about those final clues about where the "treasure" really was? Damn. That's crazy. That shit hurted.

Also the fact that they literally made Majima encounter a whale too when that's where the "Heart of the Dragon" originated from? Bro was so close to finding what he was "truly" looking for so many times. And he basically Just missed every step of the way. And I just think that's a little fucked up.

Like idk, just the fact that rgg can pack so much bittersweetness into such a generally joyful game in the span of like 10 minutes is insane. The way that they can cast the whole game in a different light, by revealing Majima’s true intentions for his Hawaii trip, by having his last line of the game basically take it all back to the beginning (woah re-playability) but in what feels like almost an entirely different, far more depressing context, was genius. (Do you think that Kiryu ever got to know that Majima went to Hawaii for him or do you think that Majima plans to keep that part in the dark forever? I mean he was willing to die for Haruka once because he knew that she was one of the only joys in Kiryu's life and he sure as hell didn't get to know about that soo...). Just. Damn rgg. They really had me thinking this would be their one game that was almost entirely feel-good (for the mainstory at least), only to me serve the most insane gut punch I've felt in a While. Good job guys.

Tl;dr That ending ruined my entire day. It was perfect. Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is a love story guys pack up and go home.

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #pirate yakuza in hawaii #pirate yakuza spoilers #majima goro #3 posts in one day is diabolical damn that like a dragon pirate yakuza in hawaii shit is Potent #sigh. Jesus christ man #I need to start ranking yakuza games by how “yakuza x is a love story” they are because I Keep saying this #BUT IT'S BECAUSE ITS TRUE OKAY #anyway uh yeah what a game also kazumaji is real that's crazy time to try and not think about this game for yet Another hour #if you somehow read all that please tell me to shut up more I gotta stop yappin' man #certified yap sessions

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ficfield · 21 days ago

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For Every Tomorrow

Request: I feel like Chris would have that talk with his wife just incase he dies on a mission, he’d tell her everything and exactly what he’s leaving for his family if he dies. Don’t see u write sad stuff a whole lot so maybe write something like this? :3

I loved this idea so much, I’ve gone for the family man Chris, including his beautiful little bubbas, thought it’d add to the angst.

Anyways enjoyyy. Chris Redfield x Reader

Chris didn’t come to bed right away. You’d heard him moving around downstairs, quiet, deliberate, like he didn’t want to wake anyone. Which made sense. The house was finally still, Noah asleep with one sock off like always, and Lyra dozing in her crib after her last feeding. But Chris… he wasn’t still. Not inside.

When he finally came into the bedroom, he wasn’t wearing his usual confidence. No tactical bravado, no calm commander’s mask. Just Chris, your Chris, with tired eyes and a quiet grief he hadn’t yet spoken out loud.

You sat up slowly, your hand reaching out. “Hey. You okay baby?”

He looked at you for a long moment, then crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I need to talk to you.”

You knew that tone. That low, steady one he used when he needed to be brave in a different way.

You reached for his hand.

He took a shaky breath. “This mission’s different. I can’t tell you everything, but it’s bad. And I can’t… I can’t go out there without making sure you and the kids are taken care of.”

“Chris..”

“I know. I know how it sounds,” he said quickly, squeezing your hand. “But you’ve seen what I’ve gone up against. You know what’s out there. if something happens to me, if I don’t make it back, I need you to know what comes next.”

You heart clenched. The thought of him not being there when Noah asked, “Where’s daddy?” or of Lyra never remembering the weight of his arms wrapped around her, it broke something deep.

Chris pulled out a small binder from the drawer by the bed. It was navy blue, labelled with your name in his handwriting,

“In here… is everything,” he said, laying it in your lap. “The insurance policy. Emergency contacts. The deed to the house, it’s already in your name. and there’s a trust fund set up for both kids. Enough to get them through school. More if they want to go farther.”

You blinked hard, but the tears were coming anyway.

“I recorded some videos,” he continued, voice thick. “One for Noah’s fifth birthday. And every birthday after that. First day of school. Graduation. His first heartbreak. Same for Lyra. Her first dance. Her wedding day. All of it.”

You let out a sob and covered your mouth.

Chris reached for you, pulling you into his arms. He was trembling too, now. “I want them to remember me for more than just a uniform. I want them to know who I was. That I loved them more than anything. That I fought so they could grow up without ever seeing what I’ve seen.”

You clung to him, heart breaking open. “Don’t you dare say goodbye, Chris. Please.”

“I’m not,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m going to come back. I swear to you, I’m going to fight like hell to come back. But if I don’t… you won’t be alone. You’ll have me in all those moments. I made sure of it.”

A tiny cry broke through the heavy quiet, and both of you turned to the crib where Lyra squirmed. Chris stood and crossed the room, lifting her with such gentle care it made your chest ache. She curled into him instantly, resting her tiny cheek against his shoulder.

He looked down at her with eyes full of sorrow and love. “You’re so small. And I’ve already missed too much.”

You joined him, wrapping your arms around his side as he rocked her gently. You stayed like that in the half-light, your family, together, quiet and still.

Chris finally speaks again, a whisper just for you. “If anything happens… tell Noah I’m proud of the way he shares. Of the way he laughs. Tell Lyra she has my heart in her hands, and she always will.”

“She’ll hear it from you,” you said firmly. “They both will.”

He looked at you and nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, they will.”

Because no matter how many times he’d faced death, this time he had something to fight for that went beyond duty.

This Time he had everything to lose.

Chris was still holding Lyra, her tiny hand curled around his finger, when he spoke again. His voice was quieter now, thicker. Like the words were heavier, closer to something that had been sitting in his chest for years.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” he said, eyes still on your daughter, “About how different my life turned out. How much it changed…. Because of you.”

You looked up at him, heart already aching in your chest.

“I used to think this kind of life wasn’t for me. a family. A home. I told myself I didn’t need it. That I didn’t deserve it after everything I’d seen, everything I’d done. But then…”

He finally looked at you. Really looked. And your breath caught in your throat at the way his eyes shimmered in the soft light.

“Then you happened,” he said. “You gave me everything. Everything I never knew I could have. You gave me a reason to come home. You gave me them,” he nodded toward Lyra, then toward Noah’s closed bedroom door. “You made me a dad. A dad, can you believe that?”

You laughed softly through your tears, and Chris smiled, just a little.

“I was lost before you,” he whispered, his voice nearly breaking, “I mean it. I was angry and tired and…. I think deep down I’d already given up. I was just going through the motions, doing the job, waiting for the day it finally caught up to me.”

He sat on the edge of the bed again, Lyra resting peacefully in the crook of his arm. You sat beside him, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“But then you walked into my life like a damn miracle. You showed me what it meant to live, not just survive. You gave me a home. A real home, not just four walls. You are my home. And if I don’t make it back-“

“Chris…”

He turned his head, kissed your temple gently. “If I don’t, I need you to know…. I went out there loving you with everything I had. You gave me a future. You made me believe I could be more than a soldier. You gave me something worth fighting for.”

He looked down at Lyra again, then closed his eyes.

“You gave me my whole world.”

You were silent for a long moment, just breathing him in, memorizing the warmth of him and the sound of his heartbeat under your cheek.

“I’ll come back to you,” he whispered. “I have to. Because losing you, losing this… would be worse than anything I’ve faced out there.”

And somehow, in that moment of tears and quiet and love too big for word, you believed him.

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measuredingold · 4 months ago

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my soul is useless without you

author's note: part two to i'd walk through hell for you is finally here ! i'm not sure if i want to do a third part, but we’ll see lol but i'm currently working on something for folio 👀 as always, i hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated ! also, if yall have any requests, send them my way :) i'm in the mood to write but inspiration is running thin lol

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

divider: @saradika-graphics

word count: 3.5k

cross posted on ao3 / part one

cw/tw: angst, hurt/comfort, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings But A Good Friend, reader is going through it, anxiety, hints/mentions of depression, noah is just a good guy and cares about reader a lot ( more than he realizes ), friends to lovers pining lol, 18+ minors do not interact

It's when Jolly asks Noah in-between takes if he'd heard from you recently that the anxiety finally settles in.

Because he doesn't know the last time he's heard from you. Which isn't normal.

He's a bad texter, notorious for looking at messages and making a note to reply to them later or replying in his mind, but he always makes sure to reply to you whenever the two of you aren't together. It's just always been a thing, to always have some form of communication with you when he wasn't over at yours or if you weren't at his, so it panics him when he can't remember the last time he'd spoken to you.

He goes through your messages and finds that it wasn't him this time who didn't respond, but instead it was you. Relief washes over him briefly, the guilt of forgetting to respond to his best friend vanishing, but then that anxiety comes back full force.

You didn't respond.

You always responded.

He sends off a quick message to you, apologizing for being in studio mode and not leaving the house and asks if you're alright. He waits. They go through another take, he somehow doesn't fuck it up even though his mind isn't all the way there. You still haven't responded by the fifth take and that's when he starts to feel sick, stomach twisting with the worry of what could be wrong.

He tries to think back to if you've ever gone this long without speaking and he can't think of a time when that has happened.

"Earth to Noah." Jolly's voice pulls him away from his thoughts.

"Oh. Uh, sorry."

"All good, man." His bandmate eyes him for a second before his eyes flicker towards his phone. "She respond?"

"Um. No." His brows furrowed as he stared at his phone, the black screen mocking him. "Kind of worried."

"Yeah... I am, too." Jolly murmurs. He clicks around on the screen a few times before twisting his chair around to fully face Noah, arms crossing over his chest. "You should go over there. Check and make sure she's alright."

Noah raises a brow at him. "We're in the middle of recording?"

"And?" Jolly shrugs, waving him off. "We got a lot done today, we can wrap it up. Something's obviously wrong and she might need you. That's more important than some song."

He blinks at his friend, letting his words settle in. Jolly's right, he thinks. You are more important than whatever song they're working on. That confirmation makes him feel funny, something tightening beneath his chest but he ignores it, nodding slowly.

"Okay. You wanna come?"

Jolly shakes his head. "Nah. The both of us might be overwhelming. If you do need me then call, if not..." He shrugs again before lifting himself up out of his chair, groaning softly to himself, "...might be best for just you to go. She'd probably feel better if it's just you, anyways. You know how she is."

Noah isn't quite sure what he means, but nods along anyways. He checks his phone again and still no text, but he notices that you read the message. He should feel relieved at the sign of life but it only makes his anxiety worse, stomach twisting violently.

"Okay. I'll text you when I get there."

He's practically running out of the studio after that, the only thing on his mind was you. He needed to make sure you were okay. Deep down he knew that if this was him, you would've already been here, and he feels guilty all over again. He should've paid more attention, shouldn't have let this slip his mind so easily. He thinks back to your last messages together and how you were talking about your work day, overwhelmed and quite frankly, upset about it all. He should've paid closer attention.

He makes it to yours in record time, legs moving him to the door before he can even think about it. He sends up a quiet prayer to the universe that you had given him an extra key months ago and uses it to unlock the door, slowly pushing it open.

He calls out your name, but no answer.

His eyes sweep over your apartment as he enters, scanning the open space. Your kitchen looked untouched, minus the few dirty dishes that were in your sink. A few boxes of Chinese take-out and some bottles of water. He feels almost relieved. You'd been eating and as far as he can tell you'd been keeping yourself somewhat hydrated, so that was a plus. He knows how bad you can be when you get into this headspace - brain fog, forgetting to do basic things like eating and drinking water. But this... this is a step in the right direction.

His eyes move towards the living room and it's just about the same. A pile of blankets lay together at one end of the couch, pillows scattered along the length of the cushions. You'd been there quite a bit, he can tell, but other than that nothing was too bad.

Noah feels like he can breathe for just a second, eyes going straight to the cracked open door to your bedroom. He hears the faint hum of your television and hears the muffled voice of your favorite characters in your favorite comfort show. His chest tightens. You only ever watch it when things get bad inside your head, when things start to become too overwhelming and you need to cling onto something that you know. Something that won't throw any surprises at you and make things worse.

He makes his way towards your room, ready to call out your name again as he pushes open your door but stops halfway. You're curled up in your bed, covered in a pile of blankets. He steps closer to get a better look at you and he doesn't think he's ever seen you look so peaceful. Lashes against the tops of your cheeks, lips parted. The crease between your brows is relaxed, which never happens.

Noah takes a deep breath.

You're alright. He can see that you're safe and sound, at least for now, and that's enough for him. He shuts your door behind him and makes his way back into the main room, taking his shoes off by the door. He takes another deep breath to center himself as he looks around your space, hand finding its way to his hair.

He decides he'll clean up your kitchen and living room. It isn't too bad, and it won't take him too long. He also just... doesn't want to leave yet. He'll wait until you wake up. Make you talk to him, ask what’s up. Probably make you eat something. Then he'll head home.

Sounds like a good plan to him.

Even though your door is shut he still tries to be quiet, making sure to carefully wash and put away your dishes without making too much of a fuss. After the dishes, he throws away all the take-out boxes and water bottles. He even makes a note to take the trash out for you when he's all done, because he knows you would've done it for him.

The constant reminder of you and knowing that you'd do something like this for him, and have, is the motivation he needs to continue. It makes him feel warm all over and he thinks how lucky he is to have someone like you as his best friend.

And he definitely ignores the bitter taste in his mouth at the word best friend.

It's maybe an hour after he's finished, curled up on your couch that now has its pillows in place, and the pile of blankets are neatly folded and put away, that you finally emerge from your room. You rub the sleep out of your eyes, not noticing him on the couch at first, but when you do you make a noise of surprise that has Noah laughing.

"Hey."

He notices the slight flush of your cheeks but ignores it. "Hi?"

"I uh," He scratches the back of his neck, sending you a sheepish smile. "Hadn't talked to you in a few days. Got worried. So did Jolly. Told me to come over. Check on you. You were sleeping so I just," He throws his arms around, gesturing to the space around him, "cleaned up a little? Figured you would appreciate a clean house when you woke up so..."

He's talking too much, he knows it, but he can't seem to stop the word vomit from coming out. Noah knows you wouldn't mind, but he was nervous, especially because all you do is stare at him without saying a word. Stare and stare and stare until you sniff, brows furrowing.

"...Thanks."

You're unusually quiet and it makes his stomach turn again. You sniff again and Noah swears you look like you're on the verge of tears, and he sits up on the couch. He watches you closely as you wring your hands together in front of you, mouth opening and closing as if you want to say something. You don't, and Noah catches the exact moment when your bottom lip trembles, and he's moving before he can even think about it.

"Hey. It's okay. You’re okay."

He tries to keep his voice soft and free of any panic, but his heart is beating so rapidly against his chest he swears you can hear it. You sniff again, head shaking as your lip continues to tremble and he does the only thing he can think of. He pulls you into his arms and presses you into his chest. You don't move for a second, but eventually your arms circle around his waist. You squeeze, tight, but he doesn't mind. He just squeezes you back.

Your body begins to shake as the cries start to rack through you, the sound muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Noah swallows down the lump that was beginning to form, cheek resting on the top of your head. He's always hated when you cry. He himself wasn’t one for much display of emotions, but when it came to the people he cared about, he hated seeing them anything but happy.

Especially you.

He's seen you cry a few times. Well, more than a few times. Sometimes it was over nothing, and then sometimes it was over an incredibly cute dog you'd seen scrolling on Twitter. He didn't mind those, but when it was over something serious, he fucking hated that. He never wanted you to be anything but happy, and whenever you weren��t, it’s like a piece of him breaks.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers into your hair, trying to pull you even closer to him.

“Everything.” You eventually mumble against his chest, sucking in a deep breath as you try to control your tears. “Fucking everything is wrong.”

He fucking hates the way that answer makes him feel. His chest feels like it's on fire, and he swears his heart just fucking broke at how sad you sounded, voice muffled by his shirt. He squeezes you to his chest again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He wants you to talk about it, to tell him what's wrong so he can make it better. Noah knows it'll probably be damn near impossible to even do that, but god, he'd try absolutely anything to make your tears stop. You take a long moment to respond, trying to control your breathing, before you eventually shake your head against his chest.

"Not right now."

"Okay.” He mumbles, raising a hand to smooth down your hair. “That's okay, we don't have to."

"Thank you."

You stay like that for a moment, in the middle of your living room. Noah doesn't plan on letting go any time soon, thinking for a split second that he wished he could keep you in his arms forever. If you were there, he'd always know if you were okay. The thought fades before he could think too hard about it when you finally pull away from him, and Noah catches sight of your slight red and blotchy face. He frowns.

He doesn't remember the last time he's ever seen you so sad. So defeated. Whatever was going on really pained you, and he wishes you'd just tell him so he can fix it. Another passing, fleeting thought, but he thinks he'd do just about anything right now to see you smile again.

"Have you eaten?" He breaks the silence between the two of you, not waiting to hear whatever you were planning on saying.

You blink up at him. "Um... no. Not since this morning. Had some fruit and coffee."

"I figured." He guides you towards the couch, practically pushing you onto it. You snort when he grabs a throw blanket and dumps it onto you. "Pick something to watch."

It's not a question, but more of a command, and Noah ignores the way his chest flutters at the small smile you give him. He turned away from you, pushing whatever feeling was brewing inside of him so far down and got his brain to focus. Food. You need food. To be honest, so does he. He’d been so worried about you for the last few hours that he didn’t even think of getting something to eat.

It takes him a few minutes of rummaging around your kitchen to settle on making something easy - instant ramen. He’s surprised you hadn't eaten it all in the week you’ve been off-grid, but thankful nonetheless. Noah's way too impatient to wait any longer to actually cook something, especially knowing you hadn't eaten anything since this morning. Every so often he looked over his shoulder to watch you, wishing you'd say something, but would find you either staring blankly at the television or your phone.

A bitter taste settles in the back of his throat every time he turns back around to the stove. He hated this, and he fucking hated that he couldn't do a goddamn thing about it.

He brings your bowl to you once he's finished, already making a mental note to clean up the mess he had made while cooking. You blink up at him and reach for it, giving him a quiet, "Thank you."

Noah doesn't verbally say anything, just hums out a response as he ventures back into the kitchen to grab you something to drink. When he comes back he notices you had slowly begun to eat, and he feels his shoulders finally relax. Just knowing you ate something eases him, the tension in his body leaving him completely. You're already reaching out for the glass of water in his hand that he happily hands off to you, giving you a gentle smile.

"Need anything else?"

You shake your head, peering up at him. "No. Just want you to come sit with me."

That same fluttery feeling beneath his chest returns and he wishes he could ignore it again, but it doesn't go away. No, it stays perched underneath his chest, as if it's decided that it's making a home there and never leaving. He doesn't say anything, just nods at your request before grabbing his own bowl and a Pepsi you had in the fridge before making his way back to you.

You wait until he's settled on the couch to scoot closer to him, legs pressed flushed together. You're already halfway through your ramen and for a split second he forgets that weird feeling in his chest, instead focusing on the intense pride filling him. He was able to get you to eat, he was able to help out in some way. Knowing you were alright for the most part and it was from his doing made him feel good.

The both of you eat in silence as whatever show you decided to put on plays in the background. He’s just now realized it was The Office, and he huffs out a small laugh at something Michael Scott said. Another one of your comfort shows, something easy.

It isn't until you both are finished with your food and Noah's back in the kitchen cleaning up that you finally speak. He doesn't hear you come up behind him, focused on washing the dishes and making sure everything's clean and good to go, so he can't help but jump when he feels your arms slip around his waist and squeeze.

"Shit." He swears, followed by a breathy chuckle. "You scared me."

You don't say anything to that, just squeeze him harder and he feels you press your face against his back. Then ever so softly, he picks up the faintest, "Thank you," muffled against his back. His face flushes, eyes casting down to the soapy water his hands were currently submerged in. He's glad you can't see the blush on his cheeks, and he fucking hopes you can't hear the way his heart is pounding beneath his chest. Can probably feel it, though, and that makes his face burn even more.

"For what?" He manages to mumble out, resuming his efforts. Your arms squeeze his waist again.

"For being here." You sound so small. "You don't have to be, but you are, and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You'd do it for me." His response comes easily, voice nonchalant because it's true. He knows you'd do the same for him, and the thought has his stomach flipping every which way. "And have done it for me. It's the least I can do."

You're silent after that but don't part from him, and Noah can't help the smile that spreads across his lips at the feeling of you rubbing your face against him. It makes him feel warm all over, and that damned fluttery feeling in his chest is back yet again. You stay like that until he's finished with the dishes, moving with him as he shuffles to the side to dry them off. You don't pick your head up even when he manages to turn in your arms, finally facing you.

Noah's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him and now you can rub your face against his chest. He laughs softly, pressing his cheek against the top of your head.

"Still don't wanna talk about it?" He knows he's pressing but he can't help it, a part of him still needs to know what's wrong and how he can fix this for you.

You shake your head. "Not yet. Tomorrow, okay? I just... don't wanna think about it tonight."

"Okay." He thinks he can handle that.

"Thank you." You say again and finally lift your head up from his chest, blinking up at him. There's still a sadness there, roaming around behind your eyes, but not as prevalent as it was earlier. He’s at least done something right. "I'm really fucking lucky to have you, you know that, right?"

The way you're looking up at him is overwhelming, Noah's throat tightening at the softness surrounding your tired eyes. You smile at him and this time it reaches your gaze, not faked but real, and his heart slams against his chest. A thought passes his mind again, something he hasn't thought of in years, and he pushes it back with a hard swallow.

"You're just saying that because you didn't have to do the dishes."

You roll your eyes but that smile never drops from your lips, and Noah thinks he'd like to keep you smiling like that for the rest of his life.

"Shut up. I'm being serious." You're giggling now, eyes crinkling and he catches a glimpse of the real you for the first time in hours - probably days, weeks even.

"So am I." Noah yelps when you pinch his side, your laughter growing louder. "Hey!"

"I'm trying to be nice here, asshole. You can at least try, too."

He softens at that, eyes meeting yours. He's well aware his face is on fire right now, cheeks pink.

"You already know I'm lucky to have you. Didn't realize I had to say it."

Even if he doesn't say it often, he is very lucky. So incredibly lucky to have you in his life, for sticking by him and for understanding him. For always being patient with him. Jolly reminds him occasionally how lucky he is to have you, how all of them are lucky to have someone like you in their lives. He doesn't know what the fuck he or anyone did to be so deserving of you, but dammit, he's fucking thankful for it everyday.

You don't say anything, just continue to beam up at him and Noah can't seem to stop himself, tilting his head down to brush his lips against your forehead. He feels you press further into his chest, if it was even possible, and practically melt in his arms.

He wishes he could keep you here forever, tucked away in his arms. He thinks there isn't much he wouldn't do to keep you safe, to make sure you were okay, and that thought alone scares him. He'd never admit it, at least not out loud, and he tucks that thought away for another time. Or to possibly be never thought of again, he doesn't know. He doesn't really care.

No, all he cares about right now is that you're okay, at least for now, and that you're nestled against his chest like it's the only place you want to be.

And that's enough for him.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfic #mine

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doomhands-jr · 1 year ago

Text

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 1

Noah Sebastian X Reader Summary: Noah is a delinquent and you are the pastor's daughter.

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Masterlist Banner by @flowerynerds

__________

“Why would someone do something like that?” you asked, staring down at the picture on your phone. “I don’t know, sweetheart,” you dad’s voice crackled through the speaker. “I can only guess that he’s clearly lost and hurting.” You stared once again at the photo displayed across your screen. A black, horned figure stared back at you with the letters HAIL SATA scrawled in red underneath. At least they didn’t finish the last word. Could someone go to Hell for saying that? You weren’t sure. It made you uncomfortable though.

You didn’t like to think about anyone going to Hell. Suffering for eternity with no way out? A lifetime of being burned alive? Your throat started to close up and you knew you had to stop thinking about it too much or you would have an anxiety attack. That happened sometimes when you thought about Hell too much. It’s why you always tried to make sure you were on the right side of the Bible.

“Do they know who did it?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Caught him trying to scale a fence. The paint on his forefinger matched the colors on the wall. He spent the night in custody. They’re asking if I want to press charges.”

“Do you?” you asked.

“Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I’d like to negotiate his sentence. Some community service would do him some good, don’t you think?” “I suppose,” you mentioned, not sure where your dad was going with this. “I need you to monitor it.”

“Monitor what?” you said, not quite putting two and two together.

“The community service. Are you listening?”

“Yeah, sorry,” you said, shaking your head rid of the thoughts that had crept in. You’d started thinking about Hell again. “Why me?” you asked. “Because I trust you,” he said. You groaned internally. “I need you to witness to this boy. He’s a lost soul and needs to be brought to the Lord. It’s only for a few weeks. Saturday mornings from eight to noon. I know you can do that.”

You sighed. Your father always did this. You were tired of the guilt trips, but they still worked every time. Besides, what’s more important to you? Sleeping in on Saturdays or someone’s eternal fate? You were being selfish. “Fine, but I want a leadership role at the youth center this year.”

“Done. I’ll call you later with more details. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You slumped forward. There goes the rest of your Saturday mornings. They were the only day out of the week you actually got to sleep in, since you had Church every Sunday morning.

At least you’d be working closely with Isaac during the week. You melted a little even thinking about him.

He was the praise and worship leader for the campus youth group, and the most attractive man you’d ever seen. You’d kissed last summer, but haven’t made progress on that front since.

You sighed and fell back into bed, acknowledging that this was likely your only opportunity to sleep in for a while, allowing your thoughts to stay on Isaac and go as far as you could before it turned to lust (a sin).

_________

The chilly mid-October wind sent shivers coursing through you. Three weeks had passed since your dad had informed you that you’d be conducting community service. It was 7:56 AM and you were standing, clipboard in hand, next to the marred wall of the youth center, waiting for the delinquents to show up.

Delinquents, plural. Apparently, they caught the guy’s accomplice with the help of security footage.

“Excuse me, am I in the right place?”

You looked up from the clipboard to see a young man with a friendly smile.

“Name?” you asked.

“Nick,” he answered. You looked down at your clipboard and wrote the time next to his name.

Nick had striking features. He wore a backwards ball cap, a black hoodie, black jeans, and a denim jacket overtop. A nose ring decorated one side of his face. He took his hat off and ran his fingers through a mop of messy brown hair in a way that let you know that he knew it was attractive, before placing the cap back on. He had a friendly, disarming smile that you didn’t expect from a delinquent. It was charming in a sickly-sweet sort of way.

“Good. Okay yes, you’re in the right place. Do you know where the other guy is?” you asked.

“Noah? Not sure. He should be here soon though. He knew we had this today.” It was 7:59. You had to report him to your father if he wasn’t there by 8:00. You sighed. Was it so hard for people to be on time? You arrived to everything at least five minutes early and had no problem with it. It irked you whenever people blatantly disregarded rules, but you supposed you could have expected so much from someone who vandalized houses of worship for fun. In your mind, that was just mean.

Your father characterized him as someone who was just sad and hurting. And maybe he was, but he was also a jerk.

When he still hadn’t arrived at 8:10, you determined he probably wasn’t going to and figured that there was no sense wasting time.

“Okay Nick. You see the buckets and sponges over there? Grab a sponge and start scrubbing.”

“Aye,” he answered and walked off. He was much more chipper than you’d have expected for a criminal. But then again, Jesus hung out with criminals, so they couldn’t be all bad.

You didn’t talk much. Nick got to work quickly and you observed, not knowing what else to do. A semi-awkward silence fell between the two of you and you busied yourself flipping through the pages on your clipboard.

It had all the rules and regulations you needed to follow, as well as the schedule for the next twelve weeks. Nick and Noah were to report to each location by 8:00 AM sharp. Failure to do so would mean another week of community service tacked on to the end of the program. They could potentially shorten their sentence if they demonstrated punctuality and good behavior, but not before they’d scrubbed and painted the wall they’d vandalized.

You’d read through all the instructions several times, yet you still had a feeling you were underprepared for this. Were you really just supposed to watch them? Or were you supposed to help them, too? You deliberated for a while until a deep voice brought you out of your thoughts.

“I’m here for my community service?”

You were greeted by a tall, slender figure with long brown hair hiding a pair of dark, indifferent eyes. He wore a black hoodie with the sleeves rolled up and matching black jeans with rips on the knees. On his arms, you could see a spiderweb of tattoos extending down to his hands and all the way up his neck.

This, you realized, was exactly what you had in mind when you pictured a delinquent. Everything about him whispered ‘danger.’ He wasn’t dressed all too different than his counterpart Nick, but something about the way he carried himself made him seem much darker. He wasn’t the sickly sweet type. If Nick was children’s cough syrup, Noah was arsenic. “Noah?” you asked, voice a bit hoarse. He grunted in affirmation but made no other move. You checked the time. 8:42.

“You’re forty-two minutes late,” you said. He blinked, but didn’t respond any further. “Which means I’ll have to report this.”

He shrugged. “So report it.”

His demeanor wasn’t something you’d ever experienced. In the church, everyone was always friendly and accommodating. It was a stark contrast to his counterpart, Nick, who reminded you of many of your church friends with how willing to cooperate he seemed.

“Well, grab a sponge and get to work, I guess.”

He did exactly that, wordlessly taking his place beside his accomplice. Together they scrubbed, not making much progress overall. It took them the entire session to reach a state where some of the graffiti could be painted over.

As they worked, you observed. For the most part, Noah remained stoic, but every once in a while, Nick would get him to crack a smile, either by flicking water at him to making some humorous comment you couldn’t quite catch.

Noah’s smile, you noticed, changed his face completely. It was much more innocent than you’d expect. It was rare, but genuine when it did occur, which humanized him to a point you were uncomfortable with, considering how angry at the two of them you still were.

“That’s all the time we have for this session,” you said once it had reached noon. “See you next week.” Without even saying bye or offering to help clean up the supplies, Noah dropped his sponge and walked away. Nick was a little kinder, telling you he’d see you next week and placing his sponge back in the bucket.

“So that’s how it’s going to be,” you muttered to yourself, and got to work cleaning up the supplies.

_____________

“So what was it like?” your friend Ava asked.

You shrugged in response. “I don’t know. They’re delinquents,” you said. “One of them was fine, I guess. The other was a bit of a jerk. But it was just kind of boring, really. They didn’t talk much. I just kind of watched them work.”

“A jerk how?” she asked. You could tell she was desperate for more information. She’d been hoping to hear an exciting story about how “bad kids” acted, and you got where she was coming from. You’d always been curious, too.

The church elders (your parents included) had always warned you about who to befriend and who to stay away from. These bad kids who go out drinking every night and get themselves into bad situations. In their stories, they always end up addicted to drugs and feeling lost with God in their lives. These were the people who needed to be witnessed to. But how were you supposed to tell them about God if you were also supposed to avoid them? It was all very confusing to you.

Both you and Ava had grown up entirely within the church community. Both of you had gone to private school, and while there were definitely some people there who were more misbehaved than the two of you, there were no real bad kids.

The biggest scandal you’d seen is when you found out Jason Carver had sex with his girlfriend. Which, admittedly, was a pretty big scandal because you were under the impression that everyone in that school had taken their purity vows seriously.

You couldn’t fathom what possessed Jason to commit such an outright sin. You were sure Jesus would forgive him, but seriously. What was he thinking?

Although the boys hadn’t been given quite as many purity talks as the girls had, so that could have had something to do with it. Each of the girls in the school were given a silver ring called a “promise ring” signifying their promise to stay pure until marriage. There was a whole big ceremony, too. Getting your promise ring was a huge deal in school. It was basically a coming-of-age ceremony.

You fiddled with the silver ring still on your finger. Ava had a matching one. You two had also made a friend pact where you’d both stay virgins until marriage. Though you weren’t sure how that would work out, because both of you had plans to marry Isaac and both of you were stubborn enough to hold out for him.

Regardless, the church community was pretty close-knit, and neither of you had interacted much with people who didn’t follow the same code of conduct. You could tell Ava was fascinated by the idea but so far, nothing too exciting had happened.

“Both of them drink alcohol though,” you mentioned. “I overheard them talking about a party they’d gone to the previous Friday, and Noah had mentioned he was really hungover and that’s why he’d woken up late.” He said this only to Nick, not to you.

“Wow. I wonder what that’s like.”

“Ava!” You scolded.

“Oh, whatever. Jesus himself drank wine,” and you just shrugged, because you didn’t have an argument for that. She was right. You supposed drinking didn’t go against the Bible. Just the rules your parents had laid out for you.

“Come on, we’re going to be late to practice,” she said. “Maybe we’ll get to see Isaac.”

You picked up your pace.

____________

Isaac was indeed there, looking very Jesus-like with his long hair in a bun on top of his head and his scruffy face. You supposed that might have been what drew you to him in the first place. He wore loose-fitting jeans slung low on his waist, a pair of Birkenstock sandals, and a plain white V-neck tight across his chest. He had a silver cross necklace that matched the silver purity ring.

Isaac was impossible not to fall for. He played guitar in the worship band, had the voice of an angel, and really practiced what he preached. So much so that it had been him to stop your kiss from progressing last summer, saying he didn’t want to do anything with you that either of you would regret.

A man who protects your purity rather than challenges it? What could be hotter?

“Okay, let’s run through ‘He Reigns’ again,” said Isaac, and he began to strum out the opening lines. Ava was on keys, Darian was on drums, and Josh played bass. You and Isaac sang.

It’s the song of the redeemed

Rising from the African plain.

It’s the song of the forgiven

Drowning out the Amazon rain.

You launched into a harmony with Isaac. This was one of your all-time favorite worship songs. You loved harmonizing with him. Your voices blended together so perfectly that the act felt almost intimate. Sometimes you’d hit a really beautiful note and you and Isaac would lock eyes and it felt like you were singing to each other.

Every night before bed, you prayed that God would bring the two of you together. And perhaps if you were good enough, he would answer those prayers, so you also prayed that He would be with you to help you not sin as much. Anything to improve your chances.

________

Noah was not thinking about his community service tomorrow. Six beers deep, he was only thinking of how he could see Madison Lewis’s nipples through her silky white shirt and that he’d like to wrap his lips around them if he could.

Madison hasn’t let him hit it in a while. Not that he was desperate. He’s had plenty of women since her, and will have plenty of women in the future. But she was always a particularly good fuck. Something about how unashamedly loud she moaned his name—especially when there were people just outside the bedroom door—really sent him.

She’d been making eyes at him all night, and he had a feeling tonight would be his chance if he played his cards right.

He kept his distance from her. She liked to play hard to get but didn’t want someone that simped for her too hard. He’d have to find his moment. If he knew her well enough, she’d get tired of the charade and present an opening to him, and then he’d move in for the kill.

That’s what set Madison apart. Noah was a hunter. He had no problem getting laid on a regular basis, but most women made it too easy. He barely had to show them attention for them to be practically throwing themselves at him. A good fuck is a good fuck, but he preferred a challenge.

Not that she would be super challenging, but at least she understood the game. Fucking her was like playing chess. There was strategy involved and she knew how to hold her own. The better he played, the more rewarding she’d be. She was reliable in that way.

Plus, she was one of the only women who knew what it was. She didn’t linger. She got in and got out without trying to pretend it was something it wasn’t—or worse, trying to force it into something it was never meant to be.

Too many times, he’d bang a girl who had played it cool with him at first, only to get obsessed and practically stalk him afterwards until he was forced to tell her he wasn’t interested. Whoever it was would cry and make him out to be the asshole, when he had been up-front about what he wanted from the beginning. For some reason, they always believe they were going to be the one to change him. They never were.

And okay, he might be an asshole in the fact that he always knows which of them will get clingy. By now, he’s had enough experience to tell. They come on too strong. They give him too many openings, worrying that he somehow didn’t understand what they were trying to communicate if he responded the first time. He got the hint. He just wasn’t interested.

At least he wasn’t interested if there were still other options available. If he got to the end of the night and all the good options had been taken, he’d throw them a bone and give them a good time, fully knowing that he was in for a week or two of headaches after they realized that he wasn’t going to suddenly fall in love.

Madison caught his eye and gave him a once-over. He was in. She turned to climb the stairs, exaggerating the sway of her hips as she walked and he followed, taking one last swig of his drink before setting it down on a nearby table and following her up.

_________

“Any idea where he is?” you asked Nick.

It was 8:07 and Noah still hadn’t shown up yet. Nick shrugged. “I was with him at Jolly’s party last night, but he disappeared and didn’t come back to our place. My guess is with Madison.” “I don’t know any of those people,” you said.

Nick laughed, showing a charmingly crooked front tooth. “No, I guess you wouldn’t.”

“Why is he going out partying if he knows he has community service in the morning?” you asked.

Nick chuckled as he pried the lid off the paint can. “I’m guessing you don’t get out much.”

“What do you mean by that?” you asked.

“Have you been to a party before?”

“Sure.”

“I mean one with alcohol,” he deadpanned. You blushed. “That’s what I thought.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because if you’ve been to a party, you’d understand why we go even if we have to get up early. That’s the fun of it. You get drunk. You hook up. You meet new people and you suffer the consequences because that’s what life is about.”

“Life is about more than just partying.”

“Something tells me you could use a bit of fun,” he replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you said, offended.

“Nothing,” he said, now pouring the paint into the tray and swiping his hair across his face. “Just that you seem a little uptight is all.”

You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but you didn’t want to prove him right by getting upset about it, so you said nothing.

Nick sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean for this to become a whole thing. I was just teasing.”

“I’m not upset,” you said, albeit defensively.

“Clearly.”

You sat with his comment for a moment.

“I have fun,” you said.

Nick smiled to himself. “I’m sure you have plenty of fun.”

“I do!” you protested. “Just not the kind of fun that ends up in having to do a semester of community service.”

He chuckled again, the smile not once having left his face. “And yet, here you are, with me.”

You didn’t have a response to that.

Someone cleared their throat behind you. You looked up and saw Noah towering over the two of you. “I know I’m late again,” he said. “In my defense I didn’t know that being late meant serving more time.” You noticed the tiniest of lisps sneak out of his mouth on ‘defense’ and ‘serving’ and it further humanized him in a way you wished it wouldn’t.

“You didn’t think there would be consequences?” you asked. He shrugged, removing his hood. His long hair was tied in a bun at the nape of his neck and a deep purple bruise appeared on the skin next to it.

“Shit,” said Nick and gave a low whistle. “Madison?”

Noah nodded without making eye contact with his friend.

“Good for you, man.”

“I’ll remind you that we’re on church grounds. Please watch your language,” you said.

Noah and Nick shared a look that you knew was meant to mock you, but you were adamant. They could behave however they wanted on their own time, but this was your time.

“We were just talking about how Saint Mary over here could use a little fun,” said Nick as he handed Noah a paint roller.

“Ha, ha,” you said sarcastically. “My name isn’t Mary.”

“Might as well be,” said Nick.

At that Noah snickered. “Why does he think you could use more fun?” asked Noah. The fact that this was the first time he was choosing to make conversation with you was not lost on you. And though you knew you’d get teased, it was worth it to establish some sort of rapport, or else how were you ever going to talk to him about God?

“He’s judging me because I’ve never been to a drinking party.”

“A drinking party?” asked Nick. “Did you hear that, Noah? A drinking party!” he said, clutching at his chest in mock scandalization.

You crossed your arms and sucked on your teeth for a moment. “I don’t think you’re the right judge for what kind of fun I should be having, frankly.”

Nick didn’t speak for a second, then held out his hand for you to shake. “Alright, I’ll give you that.”

“Thanks,” you said, shaking his hand.

“Do you attend this church?” said Noah.

“Yeah,” you said. “And it wasn’t cool to vandalize it. It’s really important to me.”

“I stand by what I did,” said Noah.

“Sorry Mary,” said Nick. “Won’t do it again.”

“Again, my name isn’t Mary. And don’t think I’m going to let you off easily. It’s because of you two that I’m roped into doing this for the next however many weeks.”

“They aren’t paying you?” asked Noah.

“No,” you replied, pointing to the wall to refocus them on the task at hand. They picked up on the hint and started working again. “My dad’s the pastor at the church that sponsors this youth center. He asked me to do it as a favor to him.”

“You’re dad’s the pastor?” said Nick, eyebrows lifting up on his forehead. His expression turned unreadable.

“Nick,” Noah said, soft but stern. They shared a look you couldn’t decipher and you sensed the tone of the conversation had shifted to one you weren’t familiar with. Noah looked serious. You couldn’t determine what expression was on Nick’s face. Something hung in the air between the two of you and you had a sneaking suspicion you weren’t going to like it.

________

“A pastor’s daughter!” Nick repeated when they got back to their shared apartment.

“Don’t even think about it,” said Noah.

“A pastor’s daughter, though.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Whyyyyy?” Nick whined.

“Forget it, man. I’m not doing this with you again. First of all, you have terrible taste. They always get clingy. Plus, we have to spent the next ten weeks with her. If it goes poorly for either of us, it’s going to be awkward.”

“A hundred dollars,” said Nick.

“And second of all,” said Noah, “you’d lose anyway. I already caught her staring at me.”

“Two hundred,” countered Nick.

“That chick is so prude, she wouldn’t open her legs for Jesus himself.”

Nick laughed at the imagery. “She’s kind of cute though, in a mousy, goody-two-shoes, kind of way.”

“Nick, I am begging you. Do not make this some sort of mission to bed her. There are enough prude women out there that offer whatever kind of challenge you’re looking for. Leave this one alone.”

Nick sighed. “You never want to have fun anymore.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “I just have better things to do than to compete for who can bed the pastor’s daughter. Plus, I learned my lesson from last time. Remember that groupie?”

Nick smiled. “Chelsea.”

“Yeah. Her. She wouldn’t leave me alone for weeks.”

Nick laughed. “Yeah but dude, she came to me as a rebound and straight sucked out my soul.”

“You are so missing the point, man. I’m not interested in your games anymore.”

Nick pouted. “You’re no fun. Guess I’ll just have to make it a solo game.”

“Just wait until community service is over, please?”

“No promises.”

Noah sighed and retreated to his bedroom, throwing himself down on the bed and rolling onto his back. Truth be told, he had already thought about what you might look like under your high-necked sweater. Nick was right about you being cute. And he could definitely use a challenge.

Plus it would be the ultimate fuck-you to the church. Sleeping with the pastor’s daughter? Taking her virginity? Corrupting the innocent?

He actually had some level of sympathy for you. Clearly you were raised in a household where you had to subscribe to that shit. You probably never even questioned your devotion to this made-up religion. You’d never been to a party. You definitely had never gone past first base with anyone. You lived life with such rigidity and fear of wrongdoing that you probably never let yourself stray from that tightrope.

He knew it well. He’d been raised in a catholic household by grandparents that had instilled the same kind of fear in him. Luckily, he got out when he was still in high school, but he still remembered what that catholic guilt was like. And what happened when he broke out.

All that pent-up self-control? The sexual shame you were taught to have. He knew what that looked like when it finally burst, and you were in for a wild awakening.

Logically, he knew he should stay away. Let you live your life. He wasn’t responsible for saving you from the church. But another part of him wanted to see you freed and felt like he’d be doing you a disservice by not exposing you to the other side.

__________

“I want to go to a drinking party,” Ava whined.

“Are you serious?”

“What? It sounds like fun. We don’t have to drink. We could just go and have a good time and stay sober.”

“Am I the only one who doesn’t want to risk getting an underage?” The two of you were headed to the World History class you shared on Mondays. She’d been prying you for more information on “the bad boys” as she called them. “And you really want to come home smelling like weed and booze and whatever else happens at those parties?”

“Sex?”

“Ava!”

“I just want to know what life is like on the other side is all.”

You sighed. “We don’t need to know what it’s like on the other side. It’s probably just a bunch of idiots getting sloppy drunk and grinding on each other.”

Ava laughed. “You’re so judgey! God won’t send us to Hell for attending one party.”

“I know,” you said, though your throat tightened infinitesimally at the mention of it, because really, who could know for sure? God could be testing you.

“Just promise me, if they invite you to one, you’ll bring me along?”

You laughed. “I doubt they’ll invite me to one. They seem like they already have all the friends they want.”

“You never know!” she said.

“True.”

Part of you was also curious about what happened at these parties that made them so fun that Noah and Nick still went even when they had to get up early, but another part of you wondered if this was His way of testing your commitment to determine if you were worthy of Isaac.

If it was a test, what would you need to do to pass?

_________

“You’re on time,” you said.

“Who’d have thought?” Noah replied. It was 7:48, and you’d only just arrived at the side when you had spotted Noah walking towards you, long arms swinging casually at his side. He wore a white shirt with a gray hoodie today. You tried to get a better look at the tattoos painting his forearms, but they were so numerous it was hard to identify any specific designs without making it obvious that you were staring.

“Is Nick with you?” you asked.

“He should be here soon. He was showering when I left.”

“Okay. Well, I guess we should get back to work.” Painting had finished last week, so this week, Nick and Noah were to rake the leaves that had fallen on the ground and in the parking lot. Noah got to work immediately and without complaint.

“How was your weekend?” he asked. You were surprised he was actually speaking to you, considering how distant he’d been the past two weeks.

“It was good. Yours?”

“Good.”

The conversation fizzled out before it had a chance to go anywhere. It was awkward being alone with Noah. You were trying to stay polite, but he didn’t give you anything to go on, and you were still so angry with him for what he did to the church.

It was so much easier to like Nick. He was at least friendly with you, which made it easier to forgive him. Plus, he seemed genuinely sorry that he had upset you.

“I went home early last night, like you said.”

“What?” you asked, having not processed the information.

“I went home from Jolly’s party early last night,” Noah said.

“Who is Jolly?” you asked.

“Our friend. He plays guitar in our band.”

“You have a band?” you asked.

He nodded. “We’ve only played basement shows locally so far. Nothing major, but it’s fun.” His lisp came out again and your heart softened towards him just a touch.

“What do you play?” you asked.

“A lot of instruments, but in the band I just do vocals.”

“No way,” you said. “I sing in our worship band.”

A small smile broke out on the corner of Noah’s mouth. “I’m guessing our music is a lot different than yours,” he said.

“What kind of music do you play?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “It’s like…heavier than what you’re probably used to.”

“So like, screamo or whatever it’s called?”

Noah chuckled softly. “Something like that,” he said, focusing on raking up a stubborn clump of leaves.

“So why did you leave early?” you asked.

Noah continued to focus on where his rake met the ground in front of him. “I didn’t want to keep adding time on to the end of my service,” he said.

You laughed, picking a leaf on the ground and twisting it around in your fingers by the stem. “Turning over a new leaf, are we?” you asked. You waited for him to look up and notice the pun. When he did, he stopped raking and stared blankly.

“Did you really just say that to me?”

“I stand by what I did,” you said, echoing his words from last week.

Noah stayed still and silent for a long moment, before nodding to himself, and then quickly, without warning, using his rake to kick up a large pile of leaves in your direction. “Hey!” you shouted, brushing off the leaves that had stuck to your wool sweater. Noah said nothing, turning back to raking. The half-smile never left the corner of his mouth.

Had you misjudged Noah? He had seemed so cold to you at first, but he’d already become much friendlier than he had been that first week.

“So do you think he went back to bed?” you asked.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” said Noah.

You sighed and fell back into the large pile of leaves Noah had been working on. He continued raking, piling the leaves on top of you.

“You know that’s how you get ticks,” he said. You hadn’t thought of that. You jumped up, brushing all the leaves off you and scanning yourself for ticks. You took your hat off to examine it and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Do you see any on me?” you asked.

“Let me check,” he said, and paused raking. You stood with your back to him, feeling awfully short compared to his towering frame. Noah crouched down to peer at the back of your neck. He lightly brushed the remaining leaves from your shoulders, and then you felt his icy fingers on the back of your neck when he pulled your collar out to check.

“Your fingers are so cold,” you said, voice coming out breathier than you would have liked.

“Sorry,” he said softly from behind you. His voice was gentle as he focused. His fingers pushed your hair out of the way so he could see and tingles erupted over the back of your neck. “Forgot my gloves. Hold on.” You felt him pick at something that clung to your hair. When you turned around, he was inspecting a brown speck pinched between his thumb and forefinger. “I think it’s just a leaf. You’re good.” He flicked the speck away and went back to raking. You, however, couldn’t shake the memory of his fingers ghosting over your skin.

“Did you go to church?”

It felt like a loaded question, but you decided to entertain him. You needed something to focus on.

“I did. Why?”

He shrugged, continuing to watch himself work rather than look at you while he spoke. “No reason.”

“Okay then,” you said, guarded.

“Do you go every week?” he asked after a few more moments.

“I do.”

“And do you like it?” he asked.

“Why? You thinking of giving your life to God?” You meant it to be teasing, but it came out more bitter than you intended.

He smiled to himself. “Just curious as to what you get from it. Why you’re so devoted.”

“It’s not all rules and restrictions, you know,” you said, feeling yourself growing more defensive. “It can actually be kind of fun, and pretty meaningful too.”

“If you say so,” he said. “I just don’t see the fun in being told how to live.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” you said. “I like having some guidelines to live by.”

He shrugged, but didn’t say anything else and you fell into an uncomfortable silence.

“It’s not like that all the time,” you continued after a while, watching him rake leaves into a modest pile. “There’s a lot of encouragement. And it can be really rewarding to devote yourself to a greater cause.”

“Seems like a cult to me.”

“It’s not a cult.”

You’d heard the arguments from people before, especially online. Every Atheist you’ve ever talked to does this same dance. They are upset that you believe in something they don’t like and react by trying to disprove God. Each of them brings up their own version of the same argument, all thinking that they, in their brilliance, have somehow got it all figured out and can change your opinion. They never can.

“Do you follow all the rules?” he asked.

“I try to. Why?”

“Just wondering. So you believe everything that the Bible says is true?”

“It’s complicated,” you answered honestly.

“How so?”

This was the part of the conversation you didn’t like. You were well aware the Bible had a lot of contradictions, and you were willing to admit that some of the stuff in there wasn’t realistic, but most people you talked with couldn’t fathom how you still subscribed to an idea that wasn’t completely perfect.

“There’s a lot of great wisdom in the Bible. But it was written by humans, and sometimes humans don’t always do a good job of interpreting God’s will.”

“So how do you know what parts to believe and what not to believe?” he asked.

“I don’t. I just do my best and hope that God will guide me,” you said.

“I guess I can respect that.”

“You can?”

“Yeah. I mean, I still think it’s bullshit, but I’m not here to tell you what to believe. I’m not the church.”

“Touche.”

He cracked a genuine smile, and you were caught off-guard by how pleasant it was. It was almost enough to distract you from that horrendous neck tattoo.

Just then Nick came jogging up.

“You’re—,” you began, but were cut off.

“I’m late, I know,” he said, struggling to catch his breath. “My bad.”

“Well, grab a rake and get to work,” you said, gesturing to where the other rake was leaned up against the tree.

“So what don’t you agree with?” Noah asked, continuing your conversation from earlier.

“Most of Leviticus is garbage,” you said as Nick fell into line between you and Noah and began raking. “Like, that stuff about women not being able to leave their house during their period? Or not wearing blended fabrics? Ridiculous. I think they were all health codes written for the time.”

Noah nodded. “What about homosexuality?” he asked.

That was a sore spot between you and your church. “I don’t think it’s wrong,” you said. “I think if God is love, then love can never be evil. My father doesn’t exactly agree. We get into a lot of arguments about it. It’s something I feel strongly about and have to pray about a lot.”

Noah nodded. “I can accept that. But the church has still done a lot of harm to that community. They should be held accountable.”

“I agree,” you said, moving out of the way so Nick could rake by your feet. “And some churches do outreach to try to heal some of the wounds. One of our sister churches even goes to the local pride parade every year. And they do fundraising to help with AIDS screening.”

“What about your church?” he asked.

You shifted. “My church still has some learning to do.”

“And do you try to educate them?” he asked. “As a pastor’s daughter, you probably have more influence than most.”

“I try,” you said, starting to feel like you were standing trial. “But I’m just one person. I don’t have as much influence as you’d think. I have hope it’ll get better though. I see a lot of churches moving towards a more progressive stance.”

Noah nodded, but didn’t say anything else. You figured that was about as much approval as you were going to get. Still, it was better than nothing.

“I just can’t get over the whole sex thing,” said Nick.

“Nick.” Noah’s voice came out stern and full of warning.

It took you a few moments to register what he had said. When you did, you inhaled sharply through your nose. Nobody in your social circle ever talked about sex openly, aside from saying how they wouldn’t have sex before marriage. You sensed this conversation could be a dangerous one, but your curiosity was piqued.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you’re not allowed to have sex, right?” asked Nick, ignoring Noah.

“Not until marriage,” you said.

“How do you live like that? I could never!”

On the surface level, there was a part of you that was aware that most people in the secular world did not actually wait for marriage, but because you’d been mostly confined to your immediate social circle, you hadn’t actually conversed with someone who was so openly comfortable with talking about sex. You were both intrigued and so far out of your comfort zone that you struggled to keep up.

“I avoid tempting situations,” you said, noticing the hard set in Noah’s jaw that hadn’t been there earlier. His brows were furrowed and he raked slightly more vigorously.

“How do you not get into tempting situations?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know. I just…don’t?”

“Do you just…not think about it? What happens when you’re talking to an attractive guy?”

“What do you mean? I just talk. I mean sure, I might get giddy or nervous, but I don’t like…I don’t know,” you trailed off. “What happens to you when you talk to an attractive woman?”

“I honestly don’t know if I should tell you, sweet child. It might be too much for your virgin ears.”

“Gross,” you said.

Nick threw his head back into a big belly laugh, ignoring the rake for the moment. “I can’t help it! I love women. They’re so beautiful and…just…sexy.” He said this while drawing a set of hourglass curves with his hands.

“Can’t you admire them without lusting?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not. That’s like asking me not to breathe. What’s the point? I’m not interested in being a masochist.”

You leaned against the brick building and crossed your arms, sizing him up.

“You’re not afraid of the consequences?”

He faced you, leaning on his rake. “Consequences? Like STDs or pregnancy? I’m not an idiot. I use protection.”

“No, I mean. Like. Aren’t you afraid of going to Hell?”

“Hell?” he asked, bewildered. “You believe in that?”

You looked at him, wide-eyed. “Yeah,” you answered. “Don’t you?”

“No!” he said. “I didn’t realize people still believed in that.”

“What about you?” you asked Noah.

“I’m not part of this,” he said, refusing to look up from his rake.

“He knows better,” said Nick.

Noah continued working, but eventually spoke. “I believe it’s something that adults make up to scare children into behaving. Like the boogeyman.”

“It could be real,” you said.

“Doubt it,” interjected Nick. “And if it was, I think it would take a lot more than a few fucks to wind up there. That being said,” he shrugged, and went back to raking, “a life without sex seems pretty hellish to me.”

“Nick,” said Noah with even more bite. “Drop it.”

“Fine, fine,” he said, raising his arms up in surrender. “Just making conversation.” He grabbed his rake and went back to working on the lawn, while you finished out the rest of the shift in relative silence. A strange and curious energy hung in the air between the three of you. It wasn’t a bad energy, exactly, but it wasn’t altogether comfortable.

You reached your hand up to wipe away another leaf from the back of your neck, fingers brushing over where Noah’s had been earlier. The tingles stayed with you throughout the next several hours.

____________

“Ladies and gentlemen, there is a war going on. And it’s not a war of the physical realm. No, it’s a war for the soul of the world,” Pastor Jeremy said, in his stern but somber preacher voice.

This was a common theme for sermons. How there is a constant and ongoing battle for the soul of the world, and how Satan and his army are using every tool in their belt to corrupt the hearts of the innocent.

“It is our job,” he continued, “to make sure the devil doesn’t win.”

A message of evangelism. According to many pastors, it was each of our responsibility to save the souls of everyone else. Church goers do this through all sorts of methods. Missions trips were popular. You’d been on one to Guatemala when you were in high school. A group of students went down to build schools and teach other kids about the gospel.

But lately something had been bugging you about this kind of message. Because what if Noah and Nick were right, and Hell didn’t exist? What if it was just something adults told to children to scare them into behaving?

And furthermore, did that mean that your faith was only present because you were afraid of going to Hell? What would your relationship with God look like if you didn’t fear that fate? Would you have one at all?

These questions weighed on you heavily.

“Hey,” said Isaac, nudging you with his elbow. The sermon had ended, and you’d gotten up and started walking out along with everyone else without fully realizing what you were doing. You, Isaac, and a few other students from the campus ministry usually went out for lunch after church on Sundays.

“Hey,” you said, falling into stride with him as he walked into the foyer.

“What’s up?” he asked. “You seemed a little distracted today.”

It was odd of Isaac to comment on your demeanor. You weren’t used to him paying enough attention to you to mention anything.

“Oh. Maybe I was. I didn’t notice.”

He put his hands in his front pockets and leaned his weight on one hip. He looked good in this pose, and it was possible he knew that.

“Anything on your mind?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Not that I can think of.”

Isaac seemed to notice the difference in your mood. Normally, you’d be the one asking him all the questions in an attempt to connect.

“I know what it is,” said Ava, sidling up to the two of you, a sly smile playing on her lips. “Or should I say who.”

“Ava,” you warned.

“Who?” asked Isaac, his interest piqued.

You sighed in frustration. Ava, for as good of a friend she was, loved involving herself in drama and jumped at the chance to involve everyone else, too.

“Oh, just a couple delinquents,” she said in a teasing lilt.

You didn’t know why you even told Ava about the conversation you’d had with them. You’d like to think she wouldn’t use that information to her advantage, but she hadn’t always been the most reliable friend. Truly, she was as much a friend because of circumstance as she was a friend because you shared any solid connection.

Few people understood what it was like to grow up in a church and be sent to a Christian school. Your graduating class only saw fifteen people. You connected with Ava the most out of everyone, but that didn’t mean you trusted her very much.

And you were right to be hesitant, considering she was currently repeating your private conversation to Isaac simply to gain his attention.

“Is that so?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “And who are these delinquents?”

“You’ll have to ask her dad about that one.”

“I’m not listening to this,” you said. “I have sleep I need to catch up on. I’ll see you guys later.”

Truthfully, it was just an excuse to get away from them and clear your head. As much as you usually craved opportunities to spend time with Isaac, you were not feeling it today.

Ava was right. You were distracted because of a couple delinquents—one in particular—and you couldn’t pretend that you weren’t.

Perhaps this was Jesus telling you that you needed to spend more time with him. Perhaps maybe you’d be the one to guide him towards the light?

On the other hand, it could be temptation from the enemy. In which case, you needed to guard your heart.

The only way to know for sure was to pray about it, which you had been doing in earnest, but there was still no clear answer in front of you.

__________

“So I have a theory,” Nick said softly as he took a break from vacuuming the carpet of the worship center. Noah was across the room, headphones on and head bobbing as he dusted the backs of the chairs. He’d apparently given up on trying to tame his friend.

“And what is that?”

“Okay, so it’s maybe you magically just have an inhuman amount of self-control, and I’m not saying it’s not possible, but I’m willing to bet that it’s more likely you just haven’t been tested.”

“Nick, what are you talking about?” Noah asked from across the room.

Nick placed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Our conversation last week,” he said. Noah rolled his eyes and went back to dusting, but he let his headphones dangle around his neck, freeing his ears.

“Okay, and?”

“You say it’s not hard for you to avoid tempting situations, but I imagine you probably don’t get into many with the crowd you run with. Like, have you ever even kissed a guy?”

“Why is that any of your business?” you said.

Across the room, Noah sighed and padded over to the two of you.

Nick took the tiniest side-step closer to you. “Just making conversation.”

You took a deep breath, trying to decide whether or not to play whatever game this was. On the one hand, it really wasn’t any of his business. On the other, you were interested to see where he was going with this.

“Okay, I’ll bite. I have kissed before.”

“One of the church guys?” he asked, shifting his body to face you more. Noah observed silently from beside his friend.

“Mhmm,” you nodded. “At summer camp last year.”

“Who initiated?”

“He did, but we’d been flirting all summer before then.” “And when was this? What happened? Paint me a verbal picture.” Nick was visibly interested, shifting his weight from converse-clad foot to converse-clad foot as he looked at you expectantly. You had to admit that it was kind of cute. Noah remained stoic but attentive.

“It was late August,” you said. “Like I said, he and I had been flirting all summer. It was the last night of camp, and all of the counselors were having an end-of-year party.”

“You were a counselor? Oh man, this is too good.”

“What does me being a counselor have anything to do with it?” you asked.

“Nothing. Keep going.”

You rolled your eyes, thinking that you might not even want to know the reason. “So anyway, we take a walk down to the beach. The sun had already set by that point and it was a new moon, so we could barely see anything. We get down to the beach and decide to go for a nighttime swim.”

“Oh, damn,” he said.

“Language,” you said. “We are in a house of God.”

He made the sign of the cross and put his hands together in mock prayer. “Forgive me. Go on.”

You had to admit, it felt good to have someone hanging on your every word like this, even if his motives were less than ideal.

“Okay. So don’t get too excited. We were still wearing our bathing suits under our clothes from the beach game tournament we’d had with the campers earlier that day. But we get in the water, and he’s like ‘where are you?’ because we couldn’t see anything, and I reached out my hand. He took it and pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. Then he said he really enjoyed hanging out with me this summer and asked if he could kiss me.”

“He asked? Ugh,” Nick scoffed.

“What’s wrong with that? It was sweet. He respected me.”

“It was weak,” he replied. “No wonder nothing else happened.”

“What do you mean by that?” you said, crossing your arms. You had appreciated that Isaac cared about getting consent before he kissed you.

“I don’t know how to explain this concept,” he said, resting his hand on his chin. “Noah? Want to take this one?”

Noah pursed his lips, debating whether or not he wanted to get involved, but ultimately relented.

“It’s like,” he said, “a guy who asks to kiss a woman is kind of a coward. When you really want to kiss someone, you just do it and risk getting shot down.”

The image of Noah, standing in the lake with you instead of Isaac, tattooed hand grabbing you by the back of your neck and pulling you into a kiss flashed in the forefront of your brain before you could shake it away.

“I don’t know about that,” you said. “I always thought it was like, a sign that a guy respects you.”

“Nuh-uh,” said Nick. “It means he’s afraid of rejection.”

“Is that really true?” you asked, looking at Noah.

He nodded. “A guy who respects you reads your body language and understands context. He’d know whether you want to kiss him because he’d pay attention to how you’re acting. You wouldn’t have to spell it out for him.”

“Huh,” you said, processing what he had said. You’d never considered it like that before, but looking back, you had put in a lot of work dropping hints to Isaac, going as far as to make it obvious that you were into him.

“How was the kiss?” said Nick.

“It was nice.”

Nick slapped his thigh and barked out a laugh. Noah cracked his signature half-smile.

“So it sucked.”

“What? No! It was really nice.”

“Trust me,” Nick said. “If it would have been a good kiss, you wouldn’t describe it as ‘nice.’”

“I don’t know if I agree with you. I think a kiss can just be nice sometimes.”

“Yeah, if you’re an old married couple maybe. But it just goes to show that you’ve never actually been properly kissed. And that you don’t know true temptation.”

“I don’t think I like this conversation anymore,” you said. “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

“I might be, just a little bit,” he said. You bristled. “And I’m sorry,” he finished. “I don’t mean to make fun of you. I just think you’re missing out on some really important life experiences. And frankly, it’s a shame that the men in your life have failed you so terribly.”

You softened a bit. “I don’t like being mocked, but I suppose you’re right. I do wish the kiss would have been a little bit more…I don’t know,” you trailed off.

“Passionate?” Noah offered. You locked eyes with him and a warmth grew in your stomach. You liked feeling like he understood you.

“Yeah,” you said. “I’d dreamed my whole life of my first kiss, and when it finally happened, it was exciting because it was Isaac, but—,”

Nick perked up. “Isaac?”

You hadn’t meant to say his name.

“Pretend I didn’t say that.”

“Does Isaac go here?” he asked.

“Nick, please. I don’t want any drama.”

“I promise I won’t say anything. I’m just curious.”

“I’m not telling you anything else about him,” you said. “All you need to know is that he kissed me. It was okay. And then he stopped because he didn’t want to get tempted.”

Noah made a face when you said that last part, and you knew there was something behind it, but you didn’t want to ask. He might just join in and make fun of you.

“I’m done dusting,” said Noah finally. “Want me to start on the windows?”

“That would be great, actually,” you said. “Take Nick with you.”

Noah nodded and latched on to Nick’s collar, directing him over to the supply closet where the window cleaner was kept.

You sat on the steps leading up to the alter and crossed your arms over your knees, resting your chin on them.

You were disappointed in the kiss, you realized. They were right, and you hadn’t even noticed until now. After that night, you and Isaac hadn’t spoken about it again. It was as if it had never happened.

You had always surmised you were just better at self-control than your secular peers, and had clung to the identity, basing a level of self-worth on that idea, but what if that wasn’t true? What if they were right about the rest too, and you were missing out on all these important experiences? Were you just naïve?

You supposed that was a good thing. After all, chasing after those experiences could get you in a lot of trouble and lead you down a bad road. But then again, how were you supposed to resist temptation in the future if you couldn’t even recognize it? What would happen when something came along that did tempt you? How would you handle it?

Did you even want to know?

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#noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fic #bad omens fanfiction

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roosterforme · 2 years ago

Text

The Younger Kind Part 19 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You and Bradley have resorted to planning accidental run-ins as an excuse to see each other. When Penny insists that Bradley joins her and Maverick for dinner on Thursday night, you agree to watch Noah. But dinner doesn't turn out the way he thought it would.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, swearing, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

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After Meredith managed to throw off Bradley's entire week, he was really antsy to see you, and he could tell Noah was, too. He really couldn't fathom how Meredith got the hearing postponed, and every time Bradley thought he was prepared, she threw him for a loop.

He couldn't stand the thought of Noah worried and upset, being forced to answer questions about his home and his life in the courtroom. Even the idea of Meredith being allowed in the same room as Noah had Bradley clenching and unclenching his fists as he left work on Wednesday. He could tell Maverick was getting a bit annoyed that he kept asking to use his time off and then changing the schedule.

When he checked his phone as he climbed into the Bronco, Bradley saw a text from you.

Babysitter: I'm going grocery shopping tonight. I thought maybe there was a chance I could "bump into" you boys at the store?

Bradley could always groceries anyway, and he knew that spending a little bit of time with you was just what he needed. He asked you which store and what time, and then he picked up Noah and took a few minutes to get changed and fix his hair.

More than anything, he wanted to be able to invite you back to his place, do the bare minimum to help you make a perfect dinner, and then clean up while you and Noah played with the blocks. The option to make that a routine was in Bradley's brain now, and he knew it wasn't going to go away. You should be here with him.

"Let's go shopping, bub," he told Noah. "I'll get stuff to make ants on logs."

"Just like my babysitter?"

"Just like Princess," Bradley agreed, and soon they were on their way to the store.

Bradley had Noah buckled in a shopping car, strolling aimlessly through the produce area, looking around for you. He tossed some bananas and carrots in along with some apples, and then Noah was smiling and trying to climb out of the cart. Bradley looked over his shoulder and saw you pushing your own cart toward them. Then you let go of it and rushed over to them.

"Hi," you said to Bradley, barely glancing at him before you wrapped Noah in a tight hug. "Can I help you shop? Make sure your dad buys you all the good stuff?"

"Yes!" Noah cheered, and Bradley just shook his head. He really wanted to kiss you, but he kept his lips to himself. After running into Meredith at the coffee shop, he was a little hesitant.

"Hi, Princess," he whispered in his Daddy voice, and you finally looked up at him with a smirk.

Then you and he pushed your carts along slowly, adding groceries and sharing some subtle touches. When you reached for him in the cereal aisle, Bradley didn't stop you. He let your hand come to rest on his chest, and when your lips met his in the softest kiss while Noah picked out some Cheerios, he pulled you a little closer.

"I can't stay away from you," he whispered as you took a small step backwards out of his arms.

You looked between him and Noah, and Bradley could see longing and sadness in your eyes. "I don't want you to. I miss being at your house. Do you think you'll be able to come to my graduation?" you asked, and Bradley would have done anything you wanted.

"Of course," he promised, hoping like hell he could make that happen. He wanted to be there to make you happy. And because he was so proud of you. And because Noah loved you. "We'll be there."

You slipped your hand in his and kissed Noah's rosy cheek. "You should get some Rice Krispies too."

Bradley added a box to this cart and followed you around the store, soaking up your presence and attention and hoping he'd get more of you soon.

------------------------

Bradley was at home, unpacking bag after bag of groceries. You didn't let them leave the store until he had plenty of food, and he told you he wanted to take you home and unload you from his car, too. You laughed, but he was pretty fucking serious about it.

Noah was coloring as Bradley put away some pasta sauce when his phone started blowing up. He got texts from Nat and Penny at the same time, but before he could respond to either one of them, Tracy called him.

"Apparently Meredith was in breach of contract with her lawyer," she told him immediately.

Bradley held onto the jar of sauce and asked, "What does that mean?"

"Could mean a number of things, but the bottom line is, her lawyer walked out because of something Meredith did intentionally. And apparently she found new representation, and the judge is adamantly refusing any further postponements. So please, be ready for next week. You and Noah both."

Bradley swallowed hard and nearly dropped the jar as his eyes landed on his son. "We're ready."

He finished with the groceries and made two sandwiches. Nat was already bugging him about Thursday night, trying to get him to stop by her place for a drink. And Penny was asking if he was free to have dinner with her and Mav. Apparently she wanted to chat with him about his future.

Bradley sighed and bit into his sandwich, watching Noah eat his as well. He knew everyone was concerned about how he was dealing with everything, but he just wanted them all to fuck off. A movie night with you and Noah was the only thing he really wanted. The three of you could watch a Disney movie before Noah's bedtime, and then Bradley would take you to his bed and spend hours making you cum with his lips all over your body.

He leaned back and sighed. Nat wasn't going to leave him alone until he texted her back. And Penny was likely to get Mav to side with her until Bradley agreed to meet them for dinner. So he texted you.

Princess, any chance you can watch Noah tomorrow night? Penny wants me to have dinner with them.

Your nearly instant response of "I would love to" had him smiling.

"Hey, bub, wanna play with your babysitter again this week?"

Noah had jelly all over his cheek which made Bradley smile. "She can cook the food so you don't do it," he said innocently. And Bradley thought he made a very good point. If Bradley tried to cook half of the groceries he just bought, he and Noah would be starving in no time.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Bradley told his son. And now he could look forward to tomorrow, knowing he'd see you then.

----------------------------

You dressed for the evening with Noah like you were going on a date. Because you were hoping Bradley would take one look at you and rush back home after dinner to spend some time with you. Having a sleepover was probably out of the question, but you were definitely interested in recreating some of your dirty moments on the living room couch with him.

You moaned as you applied some eyeliner. You already packed up your bag with some new coloring books, and you made a playlist of kid friendly songs for Noah. He loved singing with you, and you knew Bradley was a bit of a music buff. With a little luck, Meredith would be out of the picture soon, and you could spend more time with your boys, listening to music and hanging out.

When you checked the time, you dashed downstairs to slip your shoes on. Bradley asked if you could be there by 5:30 which seemed pretty early for dinner. But you promised him you would be. You grabbed some skittles to share with Noah and ran out to your car. When you caught your reflection in the window, you smiled. You looked good. You couldn't wait to see Bradley.

The front door was unlocked when you arrived. "Hi! It's me!" you called out, and Noah came running right for you. "Noah! I missed babysitting you!" you laughed, scooping him up as your tote bag slipped down your arm. "I brought songs and stuff to color and a snack."

"What kind of snack?" he asked, and you smiled.

"I'll show you after I make you dinner."

And then Bradley was in the living room doorway, looking so good, your mouth was watering. Snug jeans, fitted dress shirt, slightly messy hair. Fuck.

"Princess," he rasped, walking toward you with a smile on his handsome face. He leaned down and kissed your cheek while Noah was in your arms, and that thrilled you. Then he held up a key. The house key you practically threw at him when you stormed out in tears after he was so mean to you. "Will you take this back? Please?"

When you nodded, he slipped it inside your tote bag and then slipped the straps down your arm and set it down for you. He was examining your face, his eyes trailing down your neck and body while Noah rambled about a cartoon he had seen. The subtle flush of Bradley's cheeks as his eyes returned to your face had you squeezing your thighs together.

Somehow he could tell. He knew what he did to you. The little grin on his lips as he kissed your neck made you want to roll your eyes. "I'll see you later, Princess," he whispered, running his fingers along your arm as he kissed the top of Noah's head.

And then he was gone, and you were left with Noah. "Mac and cheese? Or spaghetti?" you asked.

Noah yawned as you set him down on the carpet next to the snag. Next to where you and Bradley had sex the very first time. You sighed, already counting down the time until he'd be back home.

"Ummm, mac and cheese."

"You got it!"

You taught Noah some new songs while you cooked the pasta, and he colored a spaceship purple. But you noticed he was a little quiet, and he was yawning a lot.

"You okay?" you asked him softly when you set his dinner down in front of him. He just nodded as you poured him some milk. "You wish your dad was home?" He nodded some more, but at least he was eating and drinking. But when he was done, he was reaching for you with his cheesy hands. You cleaned him up a bit and tried to play with blocks on the floor. You even offered to get the paper crowns. But he only seemed interested in watching a cartoon on the couch.

So you let Noah curl up on your lap, but soon he was asleep. And when you pushed your fingers through his soft, curly hair, you noticed his forehead felt warm. You let your palm rest softly against his skin. He definitely had a fever.

You managed to slide out from beneath him, letting him rest on the couch while you went in search of a thermometer. After tearing apart the bathroom and the drawers in Noah's dresser, you were getting frustrated. You backtracked to the bathroom and then checked the first aid kit in the kitchen. Nothing.

Before you dug around in Bradley's bedroom, you thought you ought to text him.

Hey Daddy, I think Noah has a fever. Where's your thermometer?

But you got no response from him. And when Noah woke up a little while later, crying for you, he had very rosy cheeks and a runny nose.

"It's okay, sweet Noah. I'm right here," you promised, picking him up and carrying him around with you. "You don't feel well, do you? Do you know where your daddy keeps the thermometer?"

"No," he whined, crying a little harder. His forehead felt even warmer now as he rested his face against your neck, so you decided to run a bath to help him cool down.

You checked the time on your phone again. It was pretty late, and you wished Bradley would answer your text or just come home. You poured out a dose of the children's Tylenol you found in the bathroom and knelt down next to the tub.

"Drink this up. It tastes like cherries," you promised, coaxing the liquid into his mouth. Then you brushed your fingers through his hair as you ran a washcloth all over his skin.

At this point, you had sent several unanswered texts, so you decided to call Bradley and interrupt his dinner with Penny and Pete. He might even be on his way home. You weren't worried, exactly; you were studying pediatric nursing. But you really wanted to know exactly what Noah's temperature was, and you wanted to care for him the way Bradley always did when he was sick. You figured that would make Noah feel better.

"It's okay," you whispered to Noah. "I'm sure your dad will be home soon."

You wiped tears away from his eyes while you called Bradley. But when someone else answered his phone, your heart sank, and you could feel tears in your own eyes.

-------------------------

Bradley lounged on Nat's couch and sipped a beer. He had about an hour until he was supposed to meet Penny and Mav, and it was so nice to just spend some time with her here.

She plopped down on the couch next to him. "So your babysitter is with Noah tonight?"

Bradley snorted as he peeled away the label from the bottle. "I wouldn't call her that."

Nat rolled her eyes and asked, "So would you call her your girlfriend then?"

"Nope," he murmured. "Not allowed to do that yet."

"Yet?"

"Yet," he replied, taking another long sip. "But as soon as I can get Meredith out of the picture, I'm asking her to move in with us."

Nat whistled. "Wow. Skipping right to the point, I guess? No more dating apps ever again?"

"Nope," he said with a smile. And then he did absolutely nothing for a full hour except bullshit with his best friend.

"Have a nice dinner with Penny," Nat said as Bradley stood to leave. "You know she worries about you, right? Kind of wants to be a stand-in mom and grandma to you and Noah?"

"Yeah," Bradley grunted. She meant well. Penny always meant well. And she was a huge help with Noah, even going so far as to keep him when Bradley was deployed. "She just wants to be helpful. I gotta get to dinner with her. See you at work tomorrow."

"Yeah, you should be in a great mood after Penny buys you an overpriced steak and you go home to your dream girl."

"Goodnight, Nat," he said with a grin before he walked out to his Bronco.

He was really looking forward to the overpriced steak now. He knew was running a little late as he left Nat's place, but when he passed a flower shop that was still open, he quickly stopped to get you a bouquet of flowers. Wildflowers. They smelled just like you. He set them on his passenger seat, and he couldn't wait to get home after he ate dinner and give them to you.

He found a parking space right in front of the restaurant, and after he hopped out, he jogged inside, ready to apologize for being a few minutes late. "Hi," he said when the hostess smiled at him. But before he could say anything else, he heard someone calling his name.

"Bradley."

He spun to see Helen stand up from a table and make her way over to him. She was wearing a very short dress and some high heels, and it struck Bradley that he had never seen her in anything other than a Hard Deck shirt. He'd also never seen her anywhere except the Hard Deck. It was kind of surreal.

"Helen," he said with a nod, but she strolled right up to him and wrapped her hands around his forearm. Her nails were a boring shade of pink, and he started to imagine your purple nails and soft skin.

"Come on, Bradley," she said with a laugh, trying to pull him away from the hostess. "I already have a table."

He cocked his head to one side slightly and then glanced down at her hands still on him. "I'm actually here to meet Penny for dinner."

She was shaking her head and biting her lip as she tugged on his arm until he started following her. "You're not here to have dinner with Penny."

"I'm not?" he asked with a laugh, looking around and seeing no signs of her or Maverick.

"No," she said, planting her palm on his chest and guiding him toward an empty chair. She patted his chest as he sat, and she took the seat next to him. "I got Penny to get you to agree to come here so we could have dinner together." Bradley's heart was pounding as she put her hand on his knee, but he was completely frozen now. "After she told Missy and I that you were dating again, I told her I've had a thing for you for years, Rooster."

"Oh," he managed, still thoroughly confused as to how this had happened exactly. "Okay."

She laughed and sipped a martini as she rubbed his leg. "I just thought you and I could definitely have a lot of fun together. Either dating or just... you know."

He knew. He knew exactly what she meant. And right now he was absolutely livid with Penny. But he was also livid with himself, because he had never taken the time he should have with you. Because even in spite of Meredith, he should have been in a real relationship with you by now.

"Uh, Helen," he murmured, pulling his phone out of his pocket as a means to get her to move her hand. He set his phone down on the table and said, "I'm kind of seeing someone."

"Oh," she said softly. "Penny told me you weren't. She said you were too focused on Noah and your ex."

Bradley cradled his head in his hand. "I mean, I am. But I'm also seeing someone else. It's new. Penny didn't know."

Helen looked dejected, but she shrugged and said, "If you're just kind of seeing someone and it's new, staying for dinner wouldn't hurt anything. I already ordered you a beer. I know exactly what you like." He couldn't help but notice the way she leaned toward him and pressed her breasts together. And then he saw his favorite kind of beer sitting on the table next to her martini.

Suddenly an overpriced steak was the last thing he wanted. "Just the drinks, okay? Then we'll call it a night. Excuse me for a minute."

He stood and headed to the restroom as she nodded at him. But he made it all the way to the men's room before he realized he left his phone on the table and couldn't even text you to check in. All he wanted was to get back home to you and Noah as soon as possible, but he was going to have to have a drink first. He really hoped Helen could finish that fucking martini quickly.

After he splashed some water on his face, he rolled his shoulders back and sighed. He would need to have a discussion with Penny about this. But when he saw Helen talking on his phone as he approached the table again, he started walking faster.

----------------------------

A woman had answered Bradley's phone. And it definitely wasn't Penny. It wasn't even Natasha. You were frozen, one hand on Noah's forehead and the other gripping your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" came the woman's voice again. "Hello?" She sounded annoyed now.

"Where's Bradley?" you asked, your voice breaking pitifully.

"He just ran to the restroom."

You swallowed hard and managed to ask, "Who are you?"

"Helen," she replied, and you nearly dropped your phone into the bathtub. Why was he with Helen?

"Where are you?"

"We're out to dinner," she replied, and you could practically hear the smirk in her voice. "Shouldn't you know that if you're the babysitter?"

He lied to you. He lied to you again. He told you he was going out with Penny and Pete. He told you that you meant something to him. That he was waiting to be in a relationship with you. That you were the only one.

"Put him on the phone. Now," you said with as much force as you could muster. Noah was crying again, and now your eyes were filled with tears, too.

"I'll have him call you back when he comes back to the table."

The sound of her voice was grating on your nerves as you abruptly stood. Noah was looking up at you, his pink cheeks streaked with tears. "Tell him his son is sick, and I don't appreciate any of this!" you shouted.

Helen said something about having Bradley call you back, but you were too busy trying to end the call before you burst into tears.

"I'm cold," Noah whined. You looked at him and then dropped back to your knees to fill the tub up with some warmer water.

"Sorry," you whispered, swiping at your tears before you pushed his hair away from his damp forehead. "I'll fix it for you."

And then your phone started ringing. Bradley was calling you back.

---------------------------

"Okay, well, I'll have him call you back, but we're still in the middle of dinner," Helen said, and then she ended the call and set his phone down.

"Who was that?" Bradley asked, startling Helen as he loomed over her.

"Your babysitter," she said with an eye roll. "I saw that's who it was on the caller ID, so I thought I'd answer it for you. She said your son is sick, but it's probably just a tummy ache."

"Noah's sick?" he asked, sinking down into his chair and fumbling with his phone. If you were calling to tell him there was something wrong with Noah, then it was definitely more than just a tummy ache. Then he noticed that he had somehow missed some texts from you as well.

"I'm sure he's fine," Helen said smoothly. "Are you sure you don't want to order dinner? I'm starving, and I've heard the steaks here are excellent."

But Bradley barely heard her as he tried to call you back, listening to it ring and ring before you picked up.

"Hi," you muttered without emotion.

"Is Noah okay? What's wrong?" he asked. He was met with silence. "Princess, what's going on?"

He heard your humorless laugh before you said, "That's what I should be asking you. And Helen."

Fuck. Bradley knew what you must be thinking right now as he stood and glared at Helen across the table. "Baby, I'm on my way home. What's wrong with Noah?"

"He has a fever, and he's miserable. And I can't find your thermometer. And don't call me baby," you spat, and Bradley quickly tossed some cash onto the table and started heading for the exit.

"I'm on my way home right now, okay? I'll take care of everything. I'll explain everything."

But you had hung up on him. And now he was panicking. About Noah and about you.

"Bradley!" Helen called, running after him. "Can you at least give me a ride home? I took an Uber to get here."

"Fine," he growled, barely listening as he stormed out to the sidewalk. When he opened his door and climbed in, the Bronco smelled like the flowers he had purchased for you on his way to the restaurant.

"Fuck!" he nearly shouted as he drove away. He was vaguely aware that Helen was with him. He'd worry about that later. You and Noah were his primary concerns right now, and he'd figure that out first.

"Your babysitter is the girl you're kind of seeing?" she asked as he neared his neighborhood.

"Yeah," he grunted. "And it's actually not that new. And it's not casual at all."

She remained quiet as he pulled in and parked next to your car. He left her in the Bronco. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he closed the driver's side door as he ran up his sidewalk and unlocked his front door.

"Princess? Noah?" he called out, frantically looking around the kitchen and Noah's bedroom before he saw the bathroom light was on. "Baby, what's going on?" he asked when he saw you kneeling on the mat next to the tub while Noah sat in the bath.

Slowly, you rose to your feet and turned to face him, and Bradley had never seen your beautiful face so angry before. Tears were dripping from your eyes as you took a step closer to him.

"Daddy!" Noah called out. And between the look on your face and his son sobbing in the bath, Bradley had no idea how he was going to fix any of this.

"I can't believe you lied to me again," you gasped. "I can't believe I let you lie to me again."

And when he reached for you, trying to explain what happened, you pushed his hand out of the way.

-----------------------------

Oh, shit. Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !

PART 20

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runningincircl3s · 2 months ago

Text

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Six

chapter warnings: none?

i decided to make a sandwich half way through editing this chapter and i forgot where i was at so if there's any spelling mistakes or anything pls ignore!! :) also i want to add that i have no knowledge of fishing!! i only know what i know because of what folio was talking about on craig's podcast lmao

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The next morning, you found yourself getting dragged out of the house early to follow the guys down to a spot not too far from Jolly’s house, for a day of fishing. Jolly picked you and Folio up, and you met the others at his house before walking a “quick” 45 minutes down to the lake.

However, you couldn’t complain once you got there. The lake itself was beautiful, the sun was warm on your skin and the breeze was light. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all?

As the guys got set up, Folio wouldn’t stop rambling about bait, you couldn’t help but chuckle at how passionate he was about this, it warmed your heart to see him so happy.

But then you had a thought.

“Do people really use worms as bait?” You raised an eyebrow, turning to Folio, who had already whipped his shirt off, and you couldn't help but wonder when he had gotten his chest tattooed.

“Yep!” He nodded.

“So… It isn’t just a cartoon thing?”

“No! It’s live bait, some people use worms, some use maggots, crickets, even smaller fish.”

“What the fuck? That’s like cannibalism, right?”

“Not really,” Folio hummed, “I don’t use any of those though.”

“So what do you use?”

“You’ll see soon!” He smiled, turning back to the lake.

You didn’t think you’d be fishing today, you’d let the guys do that and your plan was to sit and soak up the sun. Even when Jolly offered you a rod, you turned it down, setting your picnic blanket down on the ground instead and stretching out on it.

Ruffilo joined you, asking before sitting down beside you on the blanket. He offered you a beer, but you politely declined, so Bryan took it instead.

“It feels weird without Noah.” Nicholas said, and you couldn’t help but wince at his name. You thought a day without him was what you needed, but there was never an escape, was there?

“I was just thinking that,” Jolly agreed, sitting on one of the fold up chairs and nudging your leg with his foot, “I bet you’re not complaining though.”

You just shook your head.

“I don’t want to think about him.”

The guys were suddenly quiet, like they were all thinking the same thing but none of them wanted to ask. Ruffilo sighed, placing a hand on your knee.

“Don’t take anything he says personally, Noah I mean. He’s been off with us all for a while now. I know that man better than he knows himself, and I know he’s stubborn as hell, but he still cares about you.”

You slowly looked up, almost hesitant before your eyes met his.

“I just wish he’d actually talk to me.” You sighed. “One minute I feel like he hates my guts and the next it’s like nothing has ever happened! He's constantly messing with my mind.”

“That’s Noah for you.” Ruff chuckled. By this point, the others had fallen into their own conversation, leaving the two of you to talk in relative privacy

“Amy said something to me yesterday and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it…” You frowned.

“What did she say?”

You hesitated for a moment, feeling your mouth dry up as you began to speak.

“She said that if Noah had the chance, if I gave him even the slightest hint to say I wanted him back, he’d drop everything for me…” You could feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you kept your gaze fixed on the lake, “Is it true that he’s not happy with her anymore?”

“Is it not obvious?” Ruff smiled softly, “Before you came back around, those two were pretty much inseparable, he couldn't even go to the studio alone. But now... it’s different. It’s like he’s purposely trying to push her away so that she’ll leave first. But I know she loves him too much to do that.”

You frowned, turning back to look at him.

“I don’t know if I want to know the answer... but as his best friend, has he spoken to you about me?”

Ruff nodded.

“He never shuts up about you. Never has since the day you met.”

You felt your world stopped for a moment, your breath catching in your throat as a warmth spread in your chest.

You knew Noah had never fully let go of you, but hearing it said out loud, especially from someone who knew him better than anyone, made it feel real in a way you weren’t sure you were ready to ever think about.

You swallowed hard, your fingers curling into the fabric of your blanket as you stared at the water.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Ruffilo said softly, watching you with careful eyes. “I know it’s a lot.”

You exhaled a shaky laugh.

“A lot is an understatement.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sounds of the others laughing in the distance, the gentle rustling of the trees, and the distant chirping of birds filled the silence between you. You wanted to say something, to admit that a part of you already knew, that every time Noah looked at you, you could feel the weight of things left unspoken between you. But that was the problem, wasn’t it?

He never said anything. Not anything meaningful.

But neither did you.

“I just don’t get it,” you muttered, shaking your head. “If he really does still care that much, then why is he still with her, why does he refuse to let her go if he isn't happy? Why does he act like I don’t exist half the time, and then the next second, he’s looking at me like-” You stopped yourself before you could finish that thought.

Ruff knew what you were trying to say anyway.

He let out a slow breath, like he’d been asking himself the same questions.

“Because it’s easier, I guess.”

“What?” You frowned.

“It’s easier to be with her, can’t you see? It’s easier to pretend he’s over you, to push you away, to hurt you before you can hurt him again. But at the same time, it’s like he can’t help himself, he still gravitates toward you, even when he tries not to. I guess that’s what happens when you really, really mean something to someone.”

That hit you like a punch to the stomach.

"Do you remember the night you met? When we all met you?"

"A little," you nodded, "I couldn't really tell you anything about it though."

Ruffilo nodded.

"I don't remember much either, Jolly does though, he was the only sober one there. All I remember, what everyone remembers, is that from the moment you two laid eyes on each other, something... clicked. It was like you were always meant to be. You didn’t leave each others side once that night, you were practically glued together, like you'd known each other forever. No one could get a word in, and honestly, no one wanted to, we were happy for him. It was like nothing else mattered, just you two. I truly think it was love at first sight, and everyone else could see it. It's why it didn't come as a surprise when the two of you were sneaking about last year."

Your lips parted slightly, but nothing came out.

You barely remembered a thing from that night, but you knew now that you had totally fucked up.

“So what do I do?” You finally asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ruff gave you a small, knowing smile.

“That’s not my call to make.” He glanced toward the others, where Jolly was currently swearing at his fishing rod and Bryan was filming him. Then he looked back at you. “But whatever you decide… don’t wait too long.”

“What do you mean-”

“Holy shit!” Jolly shouted, and as you looked over you saw him with a huge fish in his hands, “I told you I’d catch one first!”

…

You were pretty quiet for the rest of the trip, and it was slowly starting to get dark now. The lake reflected the soft hues of the evening sky, the water rippling gently in the breeze. You sat near the disposable barbeque, watching as Folio flipped the burgers, the smell of charred meat filling the air.

“Alright, who's hungry?” Folio announced, holding up the plate of burgers and hotdogs like he was presenting some five-star meal.

“It’s a miracle you didn’t burn them.” Nicholas chuckled, inspecting them before reaching into the cooler for a drink.

“How dare you doubt my chef skills! I cook almost every night at home and I’ve never heard y/n complain once!”

Jolly chuckled as he handed out plates, nudging you lightly with his elbow as he noticed how you were far away, in a world of your own.

“You okay?”

You forced a small smile.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

Jolly didn’t push, just gave a small nod before sitting back in his chair.

A comfortable silence settled over the group as everyone dug into their food. The only sounds were the crackling of the grill and the occasional murmured conversation. Then, out of nowhere, Jolly cleared his throat.

“So… I’ve been thinking about proposing to Nicole.”

Folio choked on his drink.

“Dude- what?”

Jolly laughed at his reaction, shaking his head.

“You heard me.”

“Finally!” Bryan grinned, “What took you so long?”

“What?” Jolly laughed, “What took me so long?”

“You’ve been with her how long? Like… five years?” Nicholas pointed a fry at him.

“Six.” Jolly corrected.

“Exactly.” Bryan smirked. “About damn time.”

You watched Jolly, the way his expression softened just at the mention of Nicole’s name. It was rare to see him get sentimental, but right now, it was obvious just how much he loved her.

And love was a sore topic for you right now.

“Do you know how you’re gonna do it?” You asked, genuinely curious.

Jolly shrugged.

“Not yet. I just know I want to. I’ve been carrying the ring around for a while now, just waiting for the right moment. It’s her birthday next weekend, I’m organising a small party for her with our close friends, so basically just you guys, and I was thinking about doing it then?”

“Wait, you already have the ring?” Folio’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.” Jolly chuckled.

“Dude, just ask her already!” Bryan exclaimed.

Jolly sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“I just… want it to be perfect, you know? She deserves that.”

You felt a warmth in your chest at his words. It was rare to see this side of Jolly, so open and vulnerable, but it made you happy.

“She’s gonna say yes no matter what,” you reassured him, “She really loves you.”

Jolly smiled.

“I hope so.”

“Nah,” Bryan grinned. “You better hope she doesn’t realise she could do better before you ask.”

“Bry!” You scoffed, as Jolly threw a fry at him.

For a moment, the heaviness in your chest lifted, as the guys burst into laughter.

You realised in that moment how grateful you were for your friends. Even if you didn’t know where you stood with Noah, you always had them.

However, your moment was quickly ruined as you felt something wet land on your arm.

Oh shit. Rain?

The first few drops were barely noticeable at first, cool against your skin as they landed. You thought maybe it would pass, just a fleeting drizzle, nothing more. But within minutes, the sky darkened, and the rain picked up,getting heavier, until the sound of droplets hitting the lake and the surrounding trees filled the air.

"Oh, come on!" Folio groaned, shielding his eyes as he looked up at the clouds.

Bryan laughed, shaking out his hair as droplets clung to the ends.

"Suck it up, princess." He said to Folio, before he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it in your direction. "Here, before you start crying about it. I know how you get when your hair is wet."

You caught it, rolling your eyes. Bry had a hoodie beneath his jacket, and all you had was a tank top.

"Wow, thanks. So chivalrous of you."

"I try.” Bryan smirked, pulling his hood up.

“It should pass soon.” Jolly said, sitting back in his chair.

But after a few minutes passed, it was only getting heavier.

“I say we head back to Jolly’s.” Nicholas called, and the guys nodded.

"What about all the gear?" Folio asked, glancing down towards the lake.

"You and y/n got it, right?" Bryan grinned, backing away as he joined the others who were already heading to the woods.

"What?!" You exclaimed, "Hell no, you guys help-"

"Bye!" The guys waved.

Before you could protest, they were gone, disappearing into the trees, their laughter fading as they left you and Folio standing there, abandoned in the pouring rain.

Folio exhaled sharply, running a hand down his face as water dripped from his chin.

"I fucking hate them." He shook his head.

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head.

"There’s no way we’re carrying all this back in the rain."

"Nope. Not happening," Folio agreed, crossing his arms. "What’s the plan, then? We just… live here now?"

You huffed, pulling Bryan’s jacket tighter around yourself as another gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine.

"I guess we just wait it out?"

Folio sighed, glancing around before pointing to a large tree a few feet away.

"C’mon, at least let’s get under there so we’re not totally drenched."

You agreed, following him and settling underneath the thick branches. It barely made a differnce.

"Alright, screw this," you grumbled, hugging Bryan’s jacket tighter around yourself. "Call someone. I am not staying here any longer."

Folio pulled out his phone, squinting at the screen through the water droplets sliding down it.

"Who do you suggest? Because I know Jolly’s not coming back for us, Matt’s visiting Alyson’s parents, and Davis- hell no, he’d never let us live it down."

You hesitated, dread settling in your stomach as you swallowed your pride.

"How about Noah."

Folio let out a low whistle.

"Oh, boy. You sure about that?"

"Nick. I’d rather die than walk all the way back in this rain carrying all this shit."

He huffed a laugh before nodding.

But instead of pressing call, he handed you the phone.

"Your idea, you call him."

You shot him a glare but took the phone anyway. Taking a steadying breath, you pressed the call button. The line rang a few times before finally connecting.

"Hello? I told you I’m busy today, what do you want?"

His voice was sharp, impatient. You braced yourself.

"Noah… hi."

A pause.

"What do you want?"

You exhaled, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well… Folio and I are kinda stranded at the lake by Jolly’s place. It’s pouring, and the guys are all assholes and ditched us with all the fishing gear... We need a ride."

Silence.

"Yeah, not my problem."

You shot Folio a look, and he snatched the phone out of your hand before you could protest.

"Dude, come on," he said, exasperated. "We’re drenched, and we have all the gear to take back. Just come pick us up real quick."

"You know how far that is? Call someone else."

You rolled your eyes. Typical. Before you could tell Folio to hang up, he smirked slightly.

"Oh, yeah? I get why you’d leave me out here but what about y/n? Noah, she’s completely soaked, shivering… she’s gonna get sick."

The silence on the other end was instant.

Your eyes widened, whipping your head toward him.

"Are you serious?" You mouthed.

Folio just grinned, raising a finger to his lips to say trust me.

A few more seconds of silence. Then finally, Noah let out an annoyed breath.

"Where are you exactly?"

Folio beamed in victory.

"I’ll send you the location. Hurry up, alright? We’re freezing."

Noah hung up without another word. Folio immediately turned to you with a smug grin.

"Knew that would work. He can pretend to hate you all he wants but-"

“Folio!” You groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I hate you."

"No, you don’t." He smirked.

…

“I was thinking maybe we could redecorate the kitchen?” Amy suggested, “I like the wooden cabinets but I think we should go for a more modern look, why don’t we have a think about it?”

“Hm, yeah, sounds good.” Noah nodded, not fully listening.

The two of them were out for dinner, Noah had taken Amy out for a day of shopping, and now to eat at her favourite restaurant. He had tried all day to put on the loving boyfriend act, but it had gotten to a point where he was tired of it now. He just wanted her to go home- but she can’t, because now they live together.

“I was also wondering if-”

Buzz buzz… Buzz buzz

Noah apologised, reaching into his pocket for his phone, thanking some higher being for this interruption.

When he looked at the name and read Folio, he had some kind of idea what this was going to be about. Noah had checked the weather forecast, and it had said it was due to rain around now. He chuckled to himself before answering.

"Hello? I told you I’m busy today, what do you want?" He asked, sitting back in his seat with a sigh.

But the voice that answered back wasn’t Folio.

"Noah… hi." There was no mistaking that voice.

His heart skipped a beat, but he forced his voice to remain steady.

"What do you want?"

He heard you shift, your voice crackling just a little. The rain was clearly getting to you.

"Well… Folio and I are kinda stranded at the lake by Jolly’s place. It’s pouring, and the guys are all assholes and ditched us with all the fishing gear. We need a ride…?"

There was a long pause on Noah’s end, he knew he’d give in eventually, he wanted an escape from the restaurant, he just couldn’t make it seem so obvious to Amy that he wanted to leave. So the sharp edge of his irritation returned.

"Yeah, not my problem."

He could hear some movement, and then Folio had snatched the phone from you.

"Dude, come on," he said, exasperated. "We’re drenched, and we’ve got all the gear to take back. Just come pick us up real quick."

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration building.

"You know how far that is? Call someone else."

The line was silent for a beat. And then Folio added something Noah didn’t expect to hear.

"Oh, yeah? I get why you’d leave me out here, but what about y/n? Noah, she’s completely soaked, shivering… she’s gonna get sick."

The words hit Noah harder than he expected.

He froze, his hand tightening around his phone. He should’ve just hung up. He should’ve ignored this. But the thought of you in the rain, shivering and vulnerable, made his chest tighten.

There was no way around it. He couldn't leave you out there. He didn’t want to care, but he did. And that made everything so much more complicated.

"Where are you exactly?" Noah asked, his voice a little quieter now.

Folio wasted no time.

"I’ll send you the location. Hurry up, alright? We’re freezing."

Noah hung up, the decision already made. He glanced over at Amy, who had raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in demeanor. But Noah didn’t have time to explain. He grabbed his jacket and stood up.

"I’m sorry, there’s an emergency, Folio’s uh… broken a finger… He needs taking to the hospital, I’ve gotta go." He said quickly, before she could ask any questions.

She didn’t protest, but the confused and disappointed look she gave him was enough to make him feel guilty.

"Okay… I’ll see you later then."

Without another word, he rushed out, the cold air biting at his skin as he jogged to his car. His mind raced as he drove toward the lake, the rain pounding harder against the windshield.

What was he doing?

…

It didn’t take long before headlights cut through the rain, the familiar sight of Noah’s car pulling up near the dirt road leading to the lake. The moment the window rolled down, his gaze immediately landed on you.

"Get in."

You didn’t hesitate, yanking open the door and practically diving into the warm interior. Folio took his time loading the car, then finally he gathered the lighter gear and tossed it in before he climbed into the passenger's seat.

Noah sighed, running a hand through his hair before shifting into drive.

"You guys are a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"And yet, here we are." Folio smirked.

Noah shot him a glare before turning his attention back to the road. You sat there, dripping wet and exhausted, but for some reason, you felt just a little bit warmer.

Because if he truly didn't care, he would've left you two out there.

"Couldn’t handle a little rain?" Noah asked, meeting your gaze in the mirror.

"Oh, shut up." You scoffed, your teeth chattering as you shivered.

He smirked slightly, before reaching out to turn up the heating.

“There should be a hoodie in the back somewhere, put it on.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“No, I’m good.”

"No, y/n. Take off whatever is wet and get changed." Noah’s voice was more stern this time, almost commanding.

“Why? So I can look even more pathetic? I'm not some damsel in distress, Noah."

He glanced at you again, his expression softening just a little.

"No, I know you’re not. But I don’t want you getting sick, and I’m not gonna let you freeze to death in my car either. Put it on."

You blinked, surprised.

“Okay, as long as neither of you look.”

Folio immediately covered his eyes, and Noah fought back the urge to say, It’s nothing I haven’t seen before... you could tell by the slight smirk on his lips that he was tempted.

A few seconds passed before you reluctantly leaned over, grabbing it from the seat beside you. You took off your jacket and shirt, leaving you in just your bra as you pulled his hoodie over your head, the fabric surprisingly warm against your skin. It smelled faintly like Noah, and it made you feel oddly at ease, though you’d never ever admit it to him.

Noah kept his eyes on the road, but there was a subtle shift in his posture, like he was trying to focus on driving but couldn’t help noticing the way you looked, all bundled up in his hoodie.

It made your cheeks flush.

"Better?" He asked, his voice quieter now, more considerate.

You nodded, glancing over at him.

"Yeah. Thanks." You said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear.

“Can I look now?” Folio asked, his hands still dramatically covering his eyes.

…

It wasn’t too long before the car slowed and Noah pulled into the driveway of your place. The rain hadn’t let up, and the evening air had only gotten colder.

"Well, this is it." Noah said.

You glanced over at him, your fingers still clutching the hoodie, and for a second, there was an awkward silence. You weren't sure what to say, or if you even needed to say anything.

So you decided to just reach for the door handle, until Noah's voice stopped you.

"Keep it."

You blinked at him, not sure you heard him right.

"Keep it," he repeated, his eyes briefly meeting yours. "It looks better on you than it does on me."

You hesitated for a second, your heart fluttering.

"Are you sure?" You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, though you had a feeling it was more of a rhetorical question.

Noah gave a small, almost imperceptible nod, his lips curling slightly into that familiar half-smirk.

"Yeah. Just don't lose it."

You smiled softly, more to yourself than anything, before giving him a quick nod.

"Thanks.” You murmured.

Folio, who had been mostly quiet during the ride, was already bringing the fishing gear inside. You asked if he wanted a hand, but he shook his head, telling you to just get inside, into the warm.

You stepped out of the car, holding your soaked clothes in your arms. Before you could turn away, Noah’s voice cut through your thoughts again.

"Hey, y/n?"

You stopped and turned back to him.

"Yeah?"

"Next time," he started, his tone slightly softer than before, "Try not to get yourself stranded in the rain again, okay?"

You couldn’t help but chuckle, despite the slight ache in your chest.

"I’ll try."

With that, you closed the door softly, turning to head inside. As you walked toward the door, you glanced down at the hoodie you were wearing, wondering if it meant anything more to him than just lending you a piece of clothing. But you didn’t dwell on it for long. You had a feeling you’d figure it out eventually.

You had gone straight up to your room, deciding you were going to have a shower and then go to bed. You didn’t know how to deal with all the thoughts in your head right now, so hopefully a nice hot shower would help your mind clear.

You couldn’t stop thinking about what Ruffilo had said, and then how when Folio had mentioned you were cold Noah changed his mind and picked you up, and how he told you he didn’t want you getting sick-

You were probably overthinking, right? Anyone would’ve done the same, why does it make any difference that it was Noah?

You shook your head, shaking away the thoughts as you got undressed, tugging the wet shorts off. You slipped your hands into the pocket in Noah’s hoodie, making sure you hadn’t put something in there, but instead you pulled a couple things out.

First, a hair band, your brow furrowed as you set it down on your dresser, thoughts of Noah’s little bun flooding your mind, and secondly a scrunched up piece of paper, which had something written on it. You immediately recognised Noah’s handwriting, and you wondered if this was really something you should be looking at, but still you unfolded and uncreased the paper, revealing what you guessed to be song lyrics.

You shouldn't be reading this, you weren't sure if this was lyrics or just something he wanted to get off his mind, but curiosity won, and you began to read.

You said enough

You never loved the thought of us

You're too good to be true, yeah

I gotta go, gotta run

You don't want me the way I want you, no

You walked too close to the rails

I picked you up when you fell

How can you live with yourself?

You're lost, but I couldn't tell

Fooled me and you did it well

Thought you were somebody else

-------------------------------

okay so if you read nothing ever after, i want to let you know i'm gonna change the story of how they met just a tiny bit... i've spent weeks writing the chapter where jolly explains it to them and i feel like it'd be a good idea to just say there'll be some inconsistencies until i can edit it lmao

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #★blood sport #bad omens fanfiction

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thetravelingtyper · 1 year ago

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Miscellaneous Soft! Simon Headcannons!

The album Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan has wrecked my brain So please enjoy!

Masterlist!

Soft Simon likes being within grabbing distance. I feel he always has a hand on you but doesn't want to be overbearing. I think he still has his demons, how can he not, but through love and a lot of work he can manage and accept seeing the face behind the mask. Work yes he has it on 24/7 but Simon, your Simon, tries to keep the bitterness and freeze of Ghost away.

Soft Simon always has a hint of fear of you leaving. You wouldn't of course but there is always that want to run. The vulnerability of pulling down the necessary walls. It comes in nightmares. I think in turn if you suffer from an anxiety disorder (Like I do) he understands your fears, especially if you have trauma. And if you were gone somehow, he would dream of you with a wistful sigh as he tries to go on about his day.

Soft Simon has a dog who happens to love you. Be it you are a close friend or partner. He quietly cherishes you, honey eyes warming to yours as you bury your nose in his dog's fur. I am unsure about children but I could see a healed Simon as a good father.

Soft Simon who chats about you casually to Soap, Gaz, and Price. If you aren't together the boys do their best to push him to confess his feelings. They realized you, independent and gentle would be good for the man. Say you two part ways for honest reasons, he's too dedicated to work per se, his door would always be open.

As you dance the line between friends and something more there are signs. His dog runs to the door, your spare clothes in the guest bedroom, and spare boots are by your door. More intimate? The smell of him on your clothing as he lingers in the bathroom on leave. You're doing your skincare and he leans over you from behind, you huff his arms barring your work so you hand him something to keep him occupied.

Did you get sick? You better believe Simon is there, he lingers like a shadow. Physical? He'll bring you food or make it in your kitchen somehow having learned where everything was. Mental? Simon's been through hell, he understands those demons. He'll pop in over text asking if you took your meds. He keeps a packed kit for you at his place. If there is any anxiety he'll help you work through it.

He will watch if you start to spiral, especially if you are running from something. He is the lighthouse at the port in the storm. He encourages you with a guiding hand and will lead you back home into his arms. It is his hope you choose to stay.

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley x reader #fanfiction #simon riley #simon ghost x reader #cod mw2 2022 fanfic #soft!simon #simon 'ghost' riley x reader

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thinkshespretty · 6 months ago

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𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑬 | 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉… when matt sees his best friend constantly suffering under her boyfriend’s mistreatment, he takes matters into his own hands.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: toxic and slightly abusive boyfriend, murder (in detail), knives, blood, if u don’t feel comfortable do not read!!

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: hi hi! i wanted to post something a little more spooky for halloween but i didn’t finish in time lol, sorry. i hope you guys like it! also send me requests for things to write or just to chat. i lovee responding to anons (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

it was late at night when you were at the triplets house with your friend madison. you guys had spent the night watching movies and catching up with each other after enduring a long week of work. unfortunately you had a whole lot to talk about considering your boyfriend, noah was starting to piss you off.

“i don’t even know what his problem is! one second he’s saying im the love of his life and then two minutes later he’s screaming at me for spending i didn’t do!” you explained to your friends while flailing your hands around in awkward gestures to express your frustration. “and that’s not even the worst part! he had the fucking nerve to grab my wrist when i tried to walk away from him! and it wasn’t a gentle touch it was like this.” you reached to your right and grabbed matt’s wrist before gripping it harshly, causing him to pull away. you whispered a little sorry and shot him a quick smile.

“what the hell! that’s not okay, why the fuck would he do that?” chris questioned with a mouth full of popcorn.

“ugh i have no idea its so stupid the way he’s acting.” you groaned, leaning your head back on the couch.

matt clenched his jaw at the thought of your boyfriend laying his hands on you. he never liked noah from the start, not that noah enjoyed his presence either. noah constantly complained that matt had feelings for you and that it was obvious to everyone. whenever he brought it up you defended your best friend, explaining that you and matt have known each other since the two of you were kids, and you’ve always hung around the triplets. regardless of your constant reassurances, noah never attempted to make amends with matt.

“honestly y/n, that’s so fucked for him to do, and you need to stand up for yourself and set boundaries! don’t let him push you around.” madison spoke from the other side of the couch beside nick, who nodded in agreement to her statement.

you sighed, thinking about the possibilities that could happen if you talked back to noah. he definitely would not take it lightly.

“maybe you should just break up with him.” matt spoke with nonchalance. your head snapped to look at the boy who just spoke utter nonsense. “you’re funny matthew.”

“i mean this isn’t the first time he’s done something shitty to you. it’s clearly hurting you physically and mentally, so why not just let him go?” matt shrugged turning towards you.

“because i love him, matt. just because he does a couple things i don’t like doesn’t mean we have to break up.” you spoke with slight annoyance in your tone. nick, chris, and madison exchanged awkward glances, avoiding getting involved.

matt sighed, connecting your hands together and rubbing it softly with his thumb. “i know, i didn’t mean it like that, i’m sorry. we all just want you to be happy.” chris nodded his head before shoving another piece of popcorn in his mouth.

nick stretches his arms dramatically before yawning. “okay it’s pretty late, we should get to bed. y/n i know you’re staying the night, madison do you wanna stay too?”

“i would but i have to get up early for a meeting tomorrow so i have to head home now.” madison said while collecting her purse from the ground. “i’ll miss you.” you frowned, pulling her in for a hug.

“y/n we’ll see each other again in like two days.” madison laughed as she hugged you, rubbing your back softly. “bye boys, i’ll see you guys later! love you!” she smiled, walking down the stairs and out the front door.

as you heard the front door slam shut, you and nick stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs before matt gently pulled your wrist back. nick continued walking up the stairs as you stopped.

you turn around, staring at his icy blue eyes. “yeah?” you asked softly. matt brushed a piece of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. “make sure that little idiot boyfriend of yours doesn’t touch you like that again or i’ll have to go pay him a visit, alright?”

you giggle softly at his statement considering he always jokes about putting noah in his place. “alright mr tough guy don’t go around hurting people now.” you murmured, pushing your finger to his chest. “goodnight matt” you said gently, a warm smile spreading across your face as he shooed you away to nick’s room.

“good night angel” matt replied back as you made your way up the stairs.

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

the next day you woke up around 11am and ate breakfast with the triplets before returning to your own apartment. you twisted the doorknob to your front door open and quickly dumped your purse lazily on the floor before flopping down face first onto the couch. you laid there until you heard a notification chime and looked up to see your phone.

it was a text from noah telling you he was coming over because you had abandoned him last night for matt. you roll your eyes at his snide remark before tapping your fingers on your phone to reply a quick “okay”.

you got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom to clean yourself up a bit. you brushed out the small tangles in your hair and open the drawer to take out a tube of mascara and an eyelash curler. leaning over the counter towards the mirror, you brushed the mascara wand over your lashes. you swapped out the mascara for your space camp cherry flavored lip balm and swiped it across your lips. after putting everything back in the bathroom drawers you left the bathroom and went to your room searching for a comfortable outfit. you settled on navy blue sweatpants and a lacy white tank top.

as you finished changing you heard a loud knocks coming from the front door, alerting you that your boyfriend had arrived. you quickly walked to the front door and opened it to reveal noah looking slightly irritated when he saw you.

“hi baby!” you smile warmly at him and pull him in for a hug. noah wraps one arm around your shoulder and pats your back softly. you pull away after noticing he’s not acting normal. “is everything alright?”

“yeah i’m fine.” he responds dryly. your eyebrows furrow showing your confusion, noah notices and realizes your not satisfied with his answer. “you couldn’t have maybe put yourself together and looked a little nicer for me before i got here?”

the smile from your face drops immediately, turning into an fustrated and slightly embarrassed look. noah shut the door behind him and sat down at the table in your kitchen, waiting for you to move from the front door.

“are you being serious?” you murmured, keeping your eyes on the door and avoiding eye contact. “what?” noah’s face twisted in slight annoyance at your sudden attitude. “you’re telling me that you’re in this “mood” all of a sudden that causes you not to give your girlfriend a hug or kiss when you see her? all because i don’t look pretty enough?” you say sternly, attempting to hide the hurt in your heart.

noah quickly stood up from his seated position, the wooden chair he once sat on tumbling to the floor with a loud bang. your eyes finally turned to him and see his jaw clenched and his eyes burning with fury. “now i don’t know what those sturniolo boys got into your head, but i’m sure not liking this bitchy attitude you got goin’ on.” noah sneered, shaking his head in disapproval.

you scoff at him, he always found a way to blame this on them. “this has nothing to do with them. you can’t say some bullshit to me and expect me not to say something back!” your tone starting to raise. “woah there! don’t mess with the tough girl here, all high and mighty!” noah said sarcastically, raising his arms up for dramatics.

“you’re so fucking immature!” you yell at him with tears starting to well in your eyes. the look in his eyes immediately made you regret your sudden outburst, your heart sunk to your stomach. noah slowly walked towards you. “what the hell did you just say to me?”. you swallowed hard and fidgeted with your fingers, out of instinct you turned to the front door and grabbed the handle. before you could open it, noah put his hand on your shoulder and harshly turned you around, pushing your back to the door.

“i asked you a goddamn question!” he spat, his grip remained tight on your shoulder as he kept you pinned against the door. tears started to fall from your eyes as you clenched your jaw and kept a stern look. “get off me.” you muttered. noah kept his eyes on you, his rough hands gripped even tighter on your bare shoulder. you pushed him back, causing him to release his grip. before he could say anything you turned away from him and raced out the front door.

you ran to your car and slammed the door shut. at this point the emotions you had hiden came crashing down as you drove through the neighborhoods. wiping your tears and sniffling at every red light, you drove as fast as you possibly could to the only faces you wanted to see.

after parking your car, you walked quickly to the front door slightly shivering from the breeze considering you didn’t get to grab a sweater before you left. you knocked loudly on the door impatiently waiting for someone to answer.

chris opened the door with a bright smile on his face before seeing your teary and red eyes. “hey, what’s going on?” he asked softly. you couldn’t even respond before you latched onto him for a hug as broken sobs escaped your throat. “oh no. hey shhh it’s okay don’t cry, don’t cry.” chris held you tight and stroked your hair gently before matt and nick walked down the stairs to see what had taken their brother so long to answer the door.

“y/n, sweetheart let’s go upstairs to the living room okay?” nick whispered softly. you looked up from chris’s chest to see nick and matt with worried expressions plastered on their face. nick took your hand and interlocked them before leading you up the stairs and onto the couch. he sat down next to you as you rested your head in his lap. matt and chris followed behind the two of you and took a seat beside nick.

“tell me what happened y/n, did you get hurt? do i need to kill someone?” nick asked, rubbing your shoulder. “it-it was noah” you choked out with a sniffle. “he came to see me and, he got upset with me because he said i didn’t look nice enough for him when he came over.” matt’s anger started to bubble up just hearing noah’s name. “i yelled back at him and told him he was being immature. and when i tried to leave but he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me against the door. i had to push him back before he finally let go.” you rambled, tears falling from your eyes.

matt’s jaw hardened after hearing what noah had done to you. he gave chris a hard stare before they both stood up and walked down the stairs without saying a word. “wha-where are they going?” you asked, sitting up and turning to nick. “don’t worry about it, let’s get you cozy and do something to get your mind off that brainless boyfriend of yours.” nick suggested with a smile, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around your shivering bare shoulders.

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

matt’s gripped the steering wheel of his car so hard his knuckles were almost white. he couldn’t believe that your idiotic boyfriend would ever think it’s okay to lay his hands on a women, especially you. you always found a way to forgive noah for his mistakes because of your kind heart. the thoughts coursing through his mind made the drive to noah’s house a fast ride. he already knew the directions from previous occasions when you had asked matt to drop you off there.

“you don’t need me to come in do you?” chris asked as matt jumped out of the driver seat. he grabbed a small object out of the side door and looked up at his brother. “no, i’ll be fast.” matt responded slamming the door shut and walking up to your front door. he twisted the door knob and pushed it open using his shoulder. noah looked up from his phone and stood up from his spot on the couch, looking at matt.

“dude what the fuck?” noah sneered, looking confused at the loud noise coming from the front door. until he recognized the face that was staring back at him. “matthew sturniolo, what brings you here today?” his face twisted into a cocky smile.

“do you find pride in hurting your girlfriend?” matt said through gritted teeth. noah laughed from across the room “what’d she tell you now, that i’m abusing her? god she’s so full of lies.” matt slammed the front door shut before taking slow steps towards noah.

“i won’t ever understand how she fell in love with such a lowlife like you.” matt scolded, keeping intense eye contact with the boy in front of him.

“what? you jealous i get to fuck her instead of you? get over yourself, she’s mine.” noah teased, a grin present on his face. matt scoffed and reached into his pocket, he was sick and tired of the way your boyfriend treated you like an object and constantly put you through so much pain.

“i never liked you from the start. i always knew you would be a shitty boyfriend. but y/n always finds a way to see the good in people, even the most insufferable people like you. and i won’t let you take advantage of that.” matt fumed, pulling his hand out from his denim pocket. noah’s eyes widened at the pocket knife in matt’s hand. he stepped back but was met with a wall behind him, he had nowhere to run.

“woah man let’s just talk this out i can-“ matt didn’t let him finish talking before piercing his stomach with his knife. noah let out weak groans before matt retracted his hand, releasing the blade from his lower abdomen. in a swift motion matt struck him again and again, watching the knife go through his chest. over and over and over again.

noah’s body quickly fell limp underneath him. matt crouched down, using the carpet to wipe the blood off his pocket knife before clicking it shut and placing it back into his pocket. matt stood back up looking down at the lifeless body beneath him, a smirk creeping on his face.

“she’s always been mine.”

xoxo, mia ♡

#writings ࿐໋. ݁𝜗𝜚 #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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