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#no. no I'll be fine. I just need to keep doing this. Keep reasoning it out
kyri45 · 12 hours
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 20/09✨
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Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@funnybadger868 ha chiesto:wait so if mk can hear macaques past can he hear wukongs for example the circlet and the spell
Yeah he could. It's now just a matter of if he wants to use this power ever again
@cryptic-theseus ha chiesto:you're paying for my therapy btw, the bill is on the way
Blame it on the gay monkies not me. It's bc of them that my life is ruined/hj
@ayrza ha chiesto:Hey!I have an important question, where do you get your sources for the AU👉🏻👈🏻p? I mean, I just recently entered the LMK fandom and I see that there are parts that are not mentioned much in the series and it frustrates me because I feel like I only watch the anime but I'm missing the manga 🫠I love your art and your work, it's amazing 🫰🏻✨
Hi! Well I' finishing to read Journey to the West (im at chapter 80) and if I need extra info or just check I go to the fandom wiki.
@feyqueen91 feyqueen91 ha chiesto:A question for your Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (btw, I just saw your recent post for More Than A Successor Arc & I thought something light hearted was needed to even out the Angst), is Macaque able to summon something like what Red Son did with the Samadhi Sprite, and he teaches MK to do it too?
Wait what exactly? I haven't understood what you meant by sprite.
@og-glitch-punk ha chiesto: Honestly I expect this to be hidden but i also love your work on both comics, keep it up!! I forgot their names but dude- how would the lotus prince and our moon chef feels about wukong and Macaque being MK's parents? HELL. WHAT ABOUT THE TRIO? YELLOW TUSK, PENG AND THE LOIN (CANT REMMEBER HIS NAME EVEN IF HE IS TECHNICALLY DEAD/GONE). Hell even this chaotic snake man may even use MK to his advantage with the fact he is the child of Wukong and Macaque. So many possibilities and guesses, so many twists and turns we will never know bro
Oh he absolutely woud. Also about the others. They would probably act like protective aunt/uncles to that poor traumatised boy.
@thenerdnico ha chiesto:Oh my GODS that last bio dad's chapter broke me, your expressions are always amazing. I'm going to assume that at the end of Wukong's and Macaque's fight, Wukong realised Macaque wasn't moving and ran up to him, and ended up sobbing and screaming when he realised he was dead??? If that is the case, do you think MK listened to it long enough to hear that as well?
Oh for angst reason yes. He did.
@shadowpeachera ha chiesto:AHHHH YOUR SHADOWPEACH BIO AU IS SOO GOOD!!!! I SCREAMED AT THE LAST UPDATE!!! I have a question though. You know in the series i think season 3 epsiode 5 where Wukong goes into a deep mystic monkey meditation, yeah. Well i was wondering if Mk has ever tried that but got disrupted and lost his memories or started acting strange infront of his monkey parents. It would be hilarious i can imagine him shouting, “TUDI, TUDI!”KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, no pressure though! HAVE A GOOD DAY!
Lmaooo ok ok I don't think I'll go witha small amnesia arc in the AU but this doeß sound adorable.
@sakuralotus03 ha chiesto:It will probably be quite heavy, but I suggest that after Wukong saw the monkey like that he had a huge attack of guilt and anxiety and ended up injuring his left eye with his claws
Poor baby!! Nono don't worry his eye is fine.
@raylamoongirl ha chiesto:question for macaque: what was the hardest thing to teach Mk?Lmk bio parents Q&A
Mmmm so they tried really hard to teach him shadow teleportation, but he seems to not be able to do it.
@lmkobsessedmoth ha chiesto:For the Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU What if macaque and wukong go on a date and wukong doesn’t know it’s a date because he’s as dense as the rock he hatched out of
He truly would be. May the gods give him a clue or smt otherwise we wont end up nowhere here
Anonimo ha chiesto:Hey!I love your Shadowpeach bio Parent's AU But I Wonder,Does Wukong and Macaque already dance together before?
Danced??? I think so?? When they still were lovers friends I think (i think i m missing something)
Anonimo ha chiesto:I am on my knees, heart giving out, HOW IS BABY MK SO CUTE AND SHADOWPEACH SO ALLERGIC TO JUST KISSING ALREADY LIKE COME ON YOU TWO Anonimo ha chiesto:When I read the other part where swk and mac where talking about wanting MK to view them as parents at first I thought swk was proposing having another kid with Mac and I went “WOAH HEY- HOLD UP FOR A SECOND THERE U NEED TO GET UR SHT TOGETHER FIRST” and thank god it wasn’t that I thought swk was JUMPING AND ACCELERATING THEIR PROGRESS LMAOOOSo I’m actually glad they are taking baby steps, they need them
This slowburn is gonna be so slow-burning you all are gonna die when they actually kiss (will they kiss? Oh that's just for me to know ahah)
Anonimo ha chiesto:Since macaque is called mama by mk does that mean macaque is like a mother figure to mk in your au mama macaque is adorable and he gives off motherly in his character
Anonimo ha chiesto:Whos mom if there is considered a mom by MK or only dads? Is it Wu or Mac? My headcanons is Wukong basically the mom cuz he gives off mom and dad vibes together and Macaque just gives off dad vibes to me
He gives more motherly vibes, yes (Mamacaque and DadWukong forever)
Anonimo ha chiesto:Hi in you bio parent au for monkie kid how were monkey king and macaque as teenagers when they had a good relationship were like they a romantic couple or had secret crushes on each other and never told each other or were they just friends love this au it's amazing
Oh I think they were definitely lovers once. And that makes their past and what happened even more tragic honestly.
@ayrza ha chiesto:I don't know who is more adorable: Baby MK or Macaque and Wukong blushingPsd. I love your AU and your art 💖
Both. Both is good
@diamondwolf23 ha chiesto:THOSE TWO BETTER KISSSSSSSSSSS-I’m gonna miss Baby Mk ;-
Me too. Me too.
Anonimo ha chiesto:You could say Wukong is a...... simpian?(like simian but yknow >>)
LMAO YES
@scififeather21 ha chiesto:You can't believe how much I love your Shadowpeach AU comic series that last part made me grin so much. Mostly because my husband and I have done that exact thing when our kids were small babies and the looks and smiles were the same too. OMG it such a nice thing to see after a long day at work yesterday. :)
THAT'S THE- SWEETEST THING?????? LIKE IM SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO MAKE IT A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE???? TO HEAR IT'S THE SAME THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER
@snsp6 ha chiesto:I love ur bio dads au! I wanted to ask what would happen if smth similar to the baby mk incident happened to the immortal monkeys.Like either they were de-aged to their youth or had an amnesia rules type of situation!(I am in love w the world building in this!!! And ur art is delectable!)
I don't thing the world would be ready for non-reformed Wukong#like-#not really reformed but the guy killed so many people bc of impulsiveness#until he learned that murder is not fine
Anonimo ha chiesto: This might be a stupid question, but for your bio parents, AU is MK just always in his monkey form, or is this just how he permanently looks now?
He's on his monkey form when he trains / stays at the weekends at FFM or when he friendly duels/train with Mei and Red Son.On weekdays he's constantly in his human form
@meisawkwardashecc ha chiesto:Is Wukong potentially shorter than Macaque? 👀🥺Avatar
Yes
@miraclecactus ha chiesto:Can you show us what's going on in the Freenoodles house? I'm looking forward to knowing how they manage to calm MK down :( Puedes mostrarnos que es lo que sucede en la casa de Freenoodles? Estoy ansiosa de conocer como ellos manejan el como calmar a MK :(
They used Wukong and Mac advices until he feel asleep.
Anonimo ha chiesto:I like how Wukong asks Macaque how he knows MK won't hate him after this. Like my guy, you literally killed Macaque, and he still hangs around I think he knows a thing or two
True. Although let Wukong be the dumbass he is.
alizardonfire ha chiesto:I love the idea of macaque being wukongs *rock* if that makes sense? It gives so much character to him.
Aaaahh ty! Yeah I feel like he's pretty good at understanding when he s just out of his mind and bring him back to earth.
Anonimo ha chiesto:If this isn't to much spoiler will the next lmk comic be angsty
This will be answered too late but I will always warn you in advance if there s angst coming.
Anonimo ha chiesto:I love your art! Lighthearted question since your about to bring the pain- do you think Mac and Wu fight over who gets to be little spoon/big spoon or are both of them 100% happy with Mac as big spoon and Wu as little spoon every night
So as for now, they are good with Wukong being the little spoon. Both bc Wukong is the the one who constantly craves for touch amd bc Macaque feels more comfortable in a position of "control" let's say. He can decide how much closer or not to get to Wukong.
Then in the future they would be more comfortable to switch (and the bicker about who should be the big or small)
@sallyvanna ha chiesto:HAIII FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOUR BIO PARENT AU it makes my day every time I see a new page postedI was just wondering, why was macaque kinda nervous when he summoned rumble and savage? He was like 'ah shit I didn't want that-' 👀
It was because the kid would be afraid of them! Of course he wouldn't. But I guess Macaque still feels like his powers are a threat to him.
@redwrathroit ha chiesto:Hey, note this is something you can completely ignore but I wanted to know if you had a ref sheet for your monkey Bois, I'd love to take a try and drawing them plus I had made an Oc character of my own but I did it once and then art block hit me like a train and said; nah, never again. So it would really help me out if you have a ref, if not ignore this and have a nice day/night
Unfortunately I don't. I have a lot of panels where you can see them full body in various stances though.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Wukong being the little spoon is too cute, he spends years being the big spoon platonically to everyone that someone finally gave him what was needed, to be protected instead of being the protector
Yesss he iss!!!!!!
@froggyofdeath ha chiesto:Question abt Shadowpeach bio parents! Sooo, who kills the spiders, who screaming abt them, who the one who picks it up and try to scare the screaming one?🫠✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Mk is screaming, Wukong picks it up, Macaque kills it.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Can we see exactly when they decided to prepare the courtnapping room? Like when exactly did they know oh we need to prepare that our son has apparently followed in our footsteps
Unfortunately in this AU for now I don't plan tp draw a full spicynoodle arc as well. There will be moments for the ship as well but more like extras and side stories.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Your shadowpeach bio au reminds me of something..... I remember you saying to someone that they should Read a Son of Two Dad's. Have you read the entire thing? and the sequel?
Yes I did! Also the sequel, but i think it s in hiatus.
Anonimo ha chiesto:In you newest update for the shadowpeach parent au, that one scene of Macaque looking at Wukong as MK holds his finger kind of reminds me those flashback scenes in movies of the dead lover/wife that is looking at the main character from under a flowing blanket. I have no clue why but the image popped up in my head when I read that part of the comic lmao
I bet when they are back together they will re-create this exact image eventually
Anonimo ha chiesto:I love that Macaque is initiating contact with Wukong. Hugging him, holding his hands, cuddling with him. It makes my heart melt 🥹🥰 And Wukong is giving him opportunities to do so
He is opening the door for Mac to come closer, so that it's his choice how much he can get closer. The last thing Wukong wants is to rush things or do something that would make him more uncomfortable.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Omg! I love your art especially your shadowpeach parent bio au, it's adorable! Although I'm terrified for the next page. Anyway, my question is, why won't you let the monkey trio breathe from the trauma? 😅🥹
Bc apparently chat asked for it
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squinch-depraved · 1 day
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I was watching a chuckle sammy episode today and there was a part where Schlatt said he would hire a hot secretary just to keep him company. I'd love a story about that if you're willing.
The episode is the zodiac one the part I'm referring to is exactly 1 hour in.
this is reallllly yummy i hope i did it justice for you
it was supposed to be just a joke. just a bit for the podcast, a few sentences about hiring an attractive secretary and nothing more. but they stuck in schlatt's mind and hung heavy over him for the rest of that night. he really was lonely. and ted had a point, hiring someone to just be around (and look pretty) was looking like a better and better idea every second. so he finished off his bottle of benedictine, not that there was much left, and tossed it to the side, stretching out further on the couch while he pulled out his phone and set to work searching for an assistant.
it wasn't long before ted heard about his search, and the two men bantered in a call for a few minutes about it before the older of the two stopped his jokes to suggest, "no, but for real though, i have a friend who just moved back to new york, you might remember her, she was on the set for this past chuckle week helping in the background. y/n?"
schlatt's pupils dilated and he took in a breath. "yeah, i remember her," he replied coolly. "thought she was in school though?" he played with something on his desk.
ted lit up. "yeah, she's studying, but i'm sure she'd be willing to work something out with you." his voice was laced with knowing. he had seen the way schlatt sized you up the first time he laid eyes on you, the way he could never meet your gaze and how he always looked to you first when he made a joke. "i'll send you her info, you should reach out, man. she'll be happy to hear from you."
that last line was the only reason schlatt did it. he cursed himself for letting ted convince him now that you were here in front of him. you had been invited to a coffee shop to discuss the job details, and when you finally showed up, he looked incredibly uncomfortable sitting at a small table. but you sat down in front of him, smiling up at him and pushing your glasses up on your nose.
"hi schlatt!" you greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand. he gripped you a bit too hard and grimaced when you made a small noise, shaking your hand out when he let go. "thank you so much for the opportunity, i was really worried i wouldn't be able to find a good job for a while with my school going on and everything."
he nodded hastily and pushed a pastry he ordered for you towards you on the table. you smiled and yanked it towards you, beginning to eat as he spoke. "basically, i just need you to get any random tasks i need done, done. just, paperwork, if there ever is any, usually it's all digital, uhh, anything that slips through the cracks. i just need someone to be there and make sure my shit is taken care of."
you raised a brow. "sounds like you need more than an assistant," you responded with a smirk. his face reddened and he looked away, trying to shove down the thoughts of why you were really here. you were making a joke, but it wasn't funny to him. not when you didn't know you were right.
"shit, i'm sorry schlatt, i didn't mean to insult you-"
"'s fine. not insulted. i need you in the office whenever i'm there, sometimes i get work done at my apartment, so here's a key to both. feel free to get your own shit done whenever you're working unless i need you doing something. pay's fifty an hour. can you start today?" he slaps two keys down onto the table as well as two addresses written down on a half-crumpled napkin. you stare up at him in shock before snatching the keys and paper.
"fifty bucks an hour???" you whisper-screamed at him before the startled look on his face pulled you back into reality. "what about this job is worth paying me that much? i'm accepting it, no takesies backsies, but why so much, schlatt?" you tilted your head at him as you asked.
he scrambled for an answer to your question that wasn't "i want to spoil you until you can't think of anything else in the world you want," but when he opened his mouth to talk, nothing came out. you sighed and answered his previous question instead.
"yeah, i can start today. let's go ahead and get to work, boss," you said, standing up and collecting all your school stuff you brought in with you. "take me somewhere i can dump my stuff!"
weeks passed, you fell into rhythm with his fucked up schedule easily, quickly learning when to fetch him more caffeine and when to take away his alcohol. you kept him organized, boosting his productivity and helping him with almost anything he needed. you learned a few days in the fifty an hour was for no good reason other than maybe ted had told him you were struggling to pay for school (he hadn't) because most of your job was sitting at another desk, sometimes in the same room, sometimes separated by walls, parallel playing with schlatt as he filmed or streamed or edited or did whatever he needed to do while you worked on schoolwork or a fun hobby you were into. you were being paid to do minimal office work, study and relax, and best of all, care for your hot boss. he loved when you called him that, boss, it always made his cock twitch and his brain flood with thoughts of you under him.
the worst part of the job was how attracted you were to him. it made doting on him inevitable when your whole source of income was reliant on you making sure he was "taken care of." he noticed you acting more lovingly for the first time when you brought a water bottle to his desk while he was editing and massaged the back of his shoulders before mumbling, "you need to take a break and stretch soon," and leaving the room. he was stunned, skin burning under his sweater where you touched him. secretaries don't do that. he quickly opened up his messages with ted and began typing.
"dude. i fucked up. shouldn't have hired y/n. help." every sentence was a different message. moment later, ted eased the pounding of schlatt's heart a bit by replying.
"what happened??"
schlatt typed quickly. "she massaged my shoulders idk man i can't think around her"
"oh dear heavens, the damn harlot massaged you?"
schlatt didn't dignify that with a response. a few moment later, ted typed again.
"she's really into you dude, you should go for it. i promise she's not the type to sue you if it doesn't work out"
his main fear erased, he closed the chat and got off the computer, heading to find you in his apartment kitchen, going over the schedule for the days to come. music played from a speaker on the counter, and you paused it when you saw him come out.
"sorry, was it too loud?" you asked, looking up at him.
"nah," he shook his head. "you've been workin' for me for a few months now, y/n," he began.
you started shaking your head, backing up into his fridge. "schlatt, please, no, i need this job," you started to babble.
"shhh, nonono, not that at all, doll," he assured you, gliding across the floor to caress your cheek. the pet name made your stomach turn as you let him cup your face. "was gonna say somethin' else."
"what is it, then, boss?" you batted your lashes at him. he inhaled sharply and kissed you, absorbing the high pitched moan you let out. when he pulled away, you flicked your eyes down from his to his mouth and back up to meet his gaze before pulling him back in.
he tasted like whiskey, and he growled against your neck when you slid your hands under his shirt. "hired you just to keep me company but i can't keep my hands off you, doll." the nickname made you nervous for the second time that night.
"then don't keep 'em off me," you panted, puling your shirt off over your head and adjusting your skewed glasses. he drinks you in, inhaling the scent of your perfume (that you recently had to buy another of because he stole your first bottle to smell while he pumped his thick cock in his hand whenever you were gone). after a moment, he peeled your leggings off and picked you up, setting you down on the counter before he kneeled between your legs and looked up at you for permission to begin tasting you. you nodded, running your fingers through his brown curls while he started to lick and kiss at your cunt. much to his enjoyment, you didn't hold back your noises, letting your moans and cries bounce off the echoey walls of his apartment.
he slid a finger in you as he sang praises about how good you tasted for him, working his way up to two, and eventually three. you were crooning about how amazing he felt, knotting your fingers deeper into his hair and pulling it when you felt your high getting close, which made him moan directly onto your clit. you clenched your thighs around his head and ground down onto his face as he drew an orgasm from you.
once his face was thoroughly soaked with your juices, he pulled away and came up to kiss you for a bit before pulling you off the counter and spinning you around.
"i promise i'll fuck you properly, in a bed, next time, i just gotta have you now, toots." he bent you over the counter and slid his pants down, stroking his length a few times before slowly pushing into you. you both moaned, adjusting to each other, and he started thrusting, gripping your hips fiercely as you shrieked and adjusted your glasses again, to no avail because you were being shaken and throttled like a toy.
"god, you're so good!!" you screeched, moaning further when he smacked your ass in response.
"fuck, you look so cute, bent over on my counter like that, lettin' me use you like the good little assistant you are," he snarled. you let out a guttural whine at how hot he sounded. "you're so good at assisting me, baby."
your knees began to buckle and he grabbed you tighter to help hold you up.
"almost there, toots, c'mon. doin' so good."
you cried out one more time and his pace quickened, growing unsteady as he got closer to finishing. he thrust forcefully a few more times before pulling out to come all over your back and ass.
quiet settled over the kitchen as you both panted, and you heard him quietly snap a picture of you with his seed all over you before he grabbed a paper towel and began to clean you up.
"sorry," he mumbled.
you shook you head and turned around to kiss him. "can i stay the night?" you asked him.
he nodded, relieved, and slipped his pants back on.
"can i get paid for it?" you looked at him with a sly expression, glasses smudged.
he laughed. "absolutely."
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chrisbesitos · 1 day
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Okay heres another Ballerina!reader x Dealer!chris idea:
Reader is WORN OUT from recital practice, but cant rest until she gets that ONE specific part just right (totally not projecting) so shes working on it for HOURS at home (even with the bloody feet, belive me, its a regualr thing) and REFUSES to stop
idk if that makes any sense but yea
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀you're in love
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( warnings: angst (a little bit), mentions of blood, cursing, fluff.
( synopsis: chris helps you when things get harder and you can't stop practicing your choreography for the recital.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ꒰͡⠀🩰 𝅄 💸⠀͡꒱
Perfectionism. You always were a perfectionist, at school, at university and at ballet. You have the urge to be perfect and thus fuck with your head, because you don't think you can stop until your good enough. Sometimes it seems like you never will be enough and this hurts, causes not only mentally bruises, but physically too.
Well, you're accustomed to this, because it's how your brain works. Even though the pain is killing you, consuming your feet and legs like a plague. Take a deep breath and keep going, that's what you always says.
It's been hours since you're trying to do a step of your choreography perfectly, but for some reason, you can't do it right. Well, not the way you want to do. Your phone buzzing on the floor takes your attention, almost making you fall in the middle of a pirouette, you groan as you lower down to grab. It was Chris, calling you for the fifth time.
"Damn, doll. I've been calling ya', where have you been?" Chris asks through the phone, you huffs opening the cap of the bottle, taking a few sips breathing hard. "What ya' doin'? I'm fishin' some deals, wanna eat something?"
"Thank you, baby, but now I can't." You reply, holding the phone with the shoulder against your ear. You shift your feet, feeling your fingers sore, you groan in pain. "Shit." You murmured.
"Ya' good, doll?" He asks, concerned about his girl. You nod, forgetting for a moment he's not seeing you.
"Yeah, I'm just practicing now." You bite your lower lip, you need to go back to your training. "Uh, baby, what about you brought us some food? I'll have finished when you arrive here."
"Fine, doll, mind if I choose?" You deny, so Chris okay it and turned off.
You finally could go back to your practice, now putting your phone on the mute. You can't stop more, not even for calls. Chris takes more than a half hour to arrive at your place, you didn't even notice when he gets in. The smell of fresh burgers makes your stomach groans, it's been hours since your last meal, but you didn't realize you were starving until now.
"You still doin' that shit? You said you'll be ready when I get home." He says, putting the bags on the kitchen table, he looks at the living room. The couch was out of his usual place, the tv paused on the song of your choreography and you.
You were kinda a mess. Your hair is tied in a messy bun, strands of hair sticking in your sweat forehead and your cheeks red.
"Did you get attacked by a rabid raccoon?" He chuckles, you roll your eyes ignoring him. Chris raised his eyebrows at her sassy behavior, sipping his soda. "Stop that shit, let's eat."
"In a few minutes, I need to finish this." You say, turning the music on again. Chris sits in the corner of the couch, watching you do your choreography. He smiles, he loves to watch you dance, your delicate movements and the way your body moves, drives he crazy. "Fuck!" You scream, visibly frustrated with your dance, Chris frowned his eyebrows, you were perfect for him. He rested his cup on the ground, lifting from the couch to move towards you.
"What's wrong, huh? You were perfect." Chris says, cupping your cheeks with his hands. Tears were pricking in your waterline from the frustration of failure, Chris sighs pulling you closer to his chest, caressing your back with his fingers. "You're doin' great, babydoll."
"I'm not perfect." You sob on his chest, Chris shakes his head moving you to the couch, he sits and puts you on his lap. He holds your chin, making you look at him with your tearing eyes. "If I stop now, I'll not be good enough." You say, trying to get out of his lap, to get back to your practice, but Chris holds your waist, holding you hard.
"You're good enough, doll. You're perfect f'me." Chris said, cleaning your tears with his thumbs. You sniff with a little pouty in the lips, Chris chuckles cupping your cheeks. "You're the best, babydoll." He kisses your nose.
"I don't feel like I am." You whisper, leaning your head to Chris shoulder, he sighs and massages your scalp. "I'm so tired, my feet hurt." You murmured.
"How about you stop for tonight? Tomorrow I can help you with this." He caresses your thighs through the pantyhose.
"You're gonna dance with me?" You ask, lifting your head with a smile on your lips and your eyes sparkling. You always ask Chris to dance with you, but he always denies.
"Of course no, ma." He rolls his eyes, shifting on the couch with you on his legs. You huff, crossing your arms on the chest, Chris laughed undoing the ribbon from the pointe shoe you were wearing. "I said that I'm gonna help you, not dance with you."
"You're so annoying." You say, removing the claw clip of your hair and putting it aside on the couch. Chris tugged off both of your pointe shoes, gently putting on the ground, he rubbed your feet and your fingers.
"I can leave with this." He shakes his shoulders. "Uh, doll? Your feet are bleeding, is that supposed to happen?" Chris asks with a concerned look at you, he frowns his eyebrows when you slightly nod.
"It happens sometimes, it's okay." You say, caressing his shoulder, you offer him a gentle smile, saying that's everything ok. He rubbed your legs, still worrying about your bloody feet.
"Let me take care of this, 'kay?" He kisses your jaw, gently putting you on the couch.
Chris cleaned the blood from your hurt feet, putting curatives on your fingers, he also put ice and massaged until the pain was gone. He didn't let you walk to the kitchen table, he brought the food to the couch and put on tv your favorite show, he makes sure you're comfortable and good. After finishing eating, he ran you a bath with your favorite products — he's favorite also, because he loves how you'll smell after shower — and he didn't let you move a finger, because he does all the work and you don't complain.
In your bedroom, laying on the bed and under the blanket with all of your stuffed animals on the floor, Chris caresses your thighs with his finger, kissing your lips passionately. Your hands resting on his chest, scratching a bit with your nails, a smile grows in your face when he breaks the kiss.
"You're really not gonna dance with me?" You ask, with a little pouty in your lips.
"Not doin' that shit, go to sleep." Chris says, rolling his blue eyes and lifting to turn the nightstand lamp off. The last sound in the room before the silence was the sound of your laugh, before Chris held your waist and pulled you closer.
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he's just a boy in love (but he doesn't know lol) ;)
tags ; @lizzymacdonald06 @deliciousluminaryanchor @lushjunkie @sweetreliever @watercolorskyy @ivysturnss @brianna-grace12 @blahbel668 @gabri3la-sturns @strnlxlqve @stvrnzcherries @unknvhx @pvssychicken @all4l0vee @i4longhairchris @sluttybitchformattsturniolo @sophand4n4 @sturniololetstrip2
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blueishspace · 13 hours
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Looped Sun 11
Loop #365
Joel: Grian what the hell is wrong with you today!??
Grian: I'm sorry Joel, I just can't right now.
Joel: No way, I'm not letting you leave just like that.
Grian: ... Fine.
Joel: A timeloop?
Grian: Yeah...
Joel: How many times-
Grian: I keep score, this is loop 365... Around 900 years now.
Joel: Guess that makes you an old man then!
Grian: What, I'm not old?
Joel: Did talking about it make it better.
Grian: But you are not going to remember-
Joel: You idiot, this isn't about me.
Grian : ... I guess.
Joel: I ask again, did it?
Grian: ...Yeah.
Loop #367
Grian had to admit that watching himself play games on a screen was weird...he just looked so cube-y. Wasn't even the first time he had gotten to watch his youtuber self but it was just as uncanny as the first time he did.
He even got to see some of the "au's" people made, just to prepare for eventual variant loops that might happen sooner or later of course.
Loop #369
Mumbo: G, mate, do you happen to have ab infinity gauntlet to give away...to me?
Grian: Why do you want an infinity gauntlet?
Mumbo: Well... I ...need the power stone.
Grian: ... Why?
Mumbo: I'm working on a project and redstone isn't going to be enough to power it.
Grian: And you want to use the power stone?
Mumbo: Yeah...?
Grian: ... Sure! It better be cool though.
Loop #372
False: You know G, I never tought about it but why are your eyes purple?
Grian: Oh? That? That is... because of a reason.
False: Huh uh?
Grian: I uh...
False: You?
Grian: I have Alexandria Genesis.
False: Huh?
Grian: ...
Pearl: I can't believe you said that!
Grian: It's not my fault you spent the last loop making Tumblr references.
Pearl: Ok, ok, ok but admit it, It's funny.
Grian: Nope.
X: Grian? False told me you are ill?
Grian: She did?
X: What is an... Alexander genesi?
Grian: It's Alexandria's Genesis.
X: That, how did you get ill? Is there a glitch in the code-
Pearl: It's his fault don't worry, he ate a moonmelon.
X: A what!?!
Pearl: A moonmelon, like a watermelon but blue.
X: How did you- where did you get that.
Grian: I... it was a gift?
X: From who? Was it a prank.
Pearl: It was from our... ... cousin!
Grian: Yep!
X: Cousin?
Grian: Oh you wouldn't...know them. They go to a different server.
Pearl: Yeah...just our dear cousin...Ebony Darkness Dementia Ravenway.
Grian: And then everybody clapped.
Scott: Huh uh. Sure thing.
Pearl: I would have clapped but it would have revealed the bit.
Grian: THANK you. At least someone here has my back.
Loop #375
Scar: Ok, ok, new plan.
Grian: I'm listening.
Scar: What if you betrayed me?
Grian: I can't betray you if you ... know about it? And who would I even betray you for? And why?
Scar: Oh no! Not a real betrayal...a fake one!
Grian: You want me to be a spy then?
Scar: ... Yes.
Grian: Crastle or Dogwarts?
Scar: Oh! I want to see you trick King Ren.
Grian: Hmmm, alright. I'll have to make it convincing. I'll need you to kill me.
Scar: Uh?
Grian: Think about it, you're red, it wouldn't be that surprising right?
Scar: Are you ...sure?
Grian: Yeah, I'll be fine. I do need a realistic reason. Just push me off a cliff.
Grian was doomed to fall by Goodtimeswithscar.
Martyn: Grian? Why are you here?
Grian: I assume you saw the news.
Martyn: Your death you mean?
Grian: What do you think?
Martyn: Just making sure, what about it?
Grian: Scar betrayed me because of red life his bloodlust. I want revenge.
Martyn: Revenge? Oh we'll get you that revenge.
Scar: What if you started spreading false info?
Grian: I'll need to share true info first or they'll catch on Scar.
Scar: Then I'll just make fake traps fir you to reveal! Everyone knows I'm not good at redstone anyway.
Grian: Huh. That could work.
Scar: I'm a genius I know. No need to praise me...
Grian: ...
Scar: ...
Grian: Are you sure you don't want praise?
Scar: ... No.
Grian: My lord, it seems the enemy has rigged the enchanter once more.
Ren: Has he? Martyn?
Martyn: I saw the trap with mine eyes.
Ren: How has he penetrated our private areas in such a way?
Grian almost let out a groan, he should have expected this but still.
Grian: I believe it might have been during our earlier trip.
Ren: Impossible, Skizz was at guard, he would have seen Scar I'm sure.
Grian knew Scar had used one of his loop abilities but maybe...
Grian: Perhaps Scar did not sneak in but was...let in.
Ren: Explain yourself.
Grian: I escaped from Scar's manipulation and joined your side my sire...perhaps one of ours has fell for them instead.
Martyn: Skizz... he definitely could have
Ren: You believe Skizz to be a traitor? Then his loyalty shall be tested.
Grian: Scar?
Scar: Yes?
Grian: Tomorrow Ren is going to give Skizz fake info. I'm going to tell you it so you can follow it.
Scar: Ohhh! You are making it seem like he's a traitor?
Grian: That's the plan.
Ren: Skizz, I didn't want to believe it.
Skizz: I'm not-
Martyn: Silence, you have betrayed the crown. You will pay!
Skizz: I didn't I promise! I don't know how Scar knew, I only-
Impulse: Stay away from him!
Ren: Impulse, you too?
Impulse: I'm not letting you do this!
Ren: Then you too shall perish.
Impulse starter to run dragging a shocked Skizz when.
Impulsesv was shot by Grian
Skizzleman was shot by Grian
Ren: Good job.
Grian: Thank you. Impulse still has a life however, we will see him again.
Grian: Seen Impulse recently?
Scott: Yeah, don't know what the two of you are doing this loop but whatever it is caused Impulse to steal my bit.
Grian: ...?
Scott: Yeah, you know, the grieving husband thing. Impulse is the one doing it now.
Grian: What are you going to do then?
Scott: I don't kno, I still have to figure it out.
Martyn: My lord, they have entered the castle-
Inthelittlewood was slain by Goodtimeswithscar
Ren: Me hand! No! ... Grian, protect your-
Grian: ...
Ren: Grian?
Grian: Long live the king.
Renthedog was slain by Grian
Loop #376
Scott had an... ok loop thus far. It started in Empires and then...nothing happened. And it continued not happening? And it was ok really, peaceful in a way, but it was also unusual and even a bit grating. Lizzie found the phropecy book ...and it didn't go anywhere. Then Xonorth arrived...and then disappeared randomly and didn't come up again. Scott was a bit on edge at this point.
Loop #378
Scott had started to get suspicious after the second loop of strangely nothing happening, especially after Jimmy started becoming distant. At the third loop of it happening again and Jimmy being even more isolated is when Scott finally made up his mind and cornered Jimmy.
Scott: Jimmy.
Jimmy: Uh- Hi Scott-
Scott: Don't "hi Scott" me, where the hell have you been for the last few weeks?
Jimmy: I... had important things to do-
Scott: Like...What?
Jimmy: Uh...
Scott: Jimmy, are you looping in time?
Jimmy: Wh-wha? Where...where did you get that idea? Weird...crazy-
Scott: I am too.
Jimmy: You are?!? Oh I'm not alone! Wait were you here the last time?
Scott: Yep, the one before that too.
Jimmy: How did I not notice?
Scott: I'm used to lying about it, It's hardly your fault.
Jimmy: But... how are you..used to it? This is like the 4th time back...
Scott: I have a lot to tell you.
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1ris5starlight · 1 day
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Oh Moon....
(0:33) ....yeah, don't worry don't worry! He's gonna be fine, Sunny...
(1:05) Sun: *worried brother: on*
(2:18) ....................Jonathan.......
(4:12) Oh god.....that must have been terrible......
(5:28) ...It breaks me so much seeing and hearing him like this💔
(5:31) no nono, Moon..! Oh baby...
(6:09-6:53) Yeah, good talk Solar!
(8:22) .................what......?
(8:22-10:09) ....what? WHAT? No! Nonono! Y-you can't give up like..! No wait..! .....Moon...you can't leave Sun like this.....
(11:50) .....that's horrible to feel....
(13:35) Yeah, It's OK to collapse every now and then, it's normal for all the things you went trow.
(14:12) oh Moony..💔
......
*crying a bit*.....
Oh Moon.....
U-umh....OK, I'm not good with this stuff but I'll try.
Listen, all those kids back then, none of their death was your fault; you were controlled by a thing that was a horrible murderous creature(before regretting all the things he(KC) did), so that wasn't you, it wasn't your fault.
You want it to be that way? Ok, you can blame yourself all you want, but what happened it's in the past and you now are trying to be a better person, h*ck, you are even becoming better then Nexus when he was good probably, but you can't just keep being attached to the past; it's gonna consume you until the end.
So, pls, try not to think about those kids anymore, I repeat, they weren't your fault, it just- happened.
It's all in the past, and that rage you felt before? It's normal that you feel it when someone insults someone you love and care about, everyone would feel that rage; so it's OK to feel it and no matter what, Sun, Solar, Monty, everyone would be there to be with you, to reasons with you if you get near do something like that ever again.
It's OK, you have family that loves you with all their hearts, so you don't have to worry or be scared about that.
So now, stand up and don't give up, they need you. Sun need you, your lovely twin need you and you are gonna be there for him and that goes the same way around!
And remember, he will always care, love you, no matter what and he will be there whenever you need; he your twin, your other half, he knows you better then anybody, he will know what to do to make you feel better.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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RACEWAY AU INCORRECT QUOTES
~~~
Kinger: "Do you think God stays in heaven because he too fears what he has created?"
Abel: "What the [%$!#] are you on?"
~
Gangle: "This is so sad...Bubble, play Despacito."
~
Caine: "I don't know if I give the air of knowing things, but I really don't."
Seth: "Your secret is safe with my indifference.
~
Loo: "Why are you smiling?"
Gummigoo: "Can't I just be happy?"
Pomni: "Jax crashed on the final lap."
~
Pomni: "Caine and I don’t use pet names."
Ragatha: "I see. Hey, what do bees make?"
Pomni: "Honey?"
Caine: "Yes, dear?"
Pomni: *sweats*
Ragatha: "Don't ever lie to my face again."
~
Pomni: "MY LIFE IS IN THE HANDS OF AN IDIOT!!"
Caine: *gesturing to himself and Seth* "No, no, TWO idiots."
~
Gangle: "I actually have a black belt."
Ragatha: "In karate?"
Gangle: "No, from Gucci."
~
Jax: "Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist (mostly). I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground."
Zooble: "Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that."
~
Kinger: "A theif."
Zooble: "Thief?"
Kinger: "Theif."
Zooble: "I before E, except after C."
Kinger: "...Thceif."
Zooble: "No."
~
Caine: "Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something."
Seth: "You don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass."
~
Ragatha: "If you had to choose between Jax and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?"
Gummigoo: "That depends, how much money are we taking about?"
Jax: "Hey!"
Ragatha: "63 cents."
Gummigoo: "I'll take the money."
Jax: "HEY!!"
~
Loo: "WHY. why did you give Gangle a KNIFE?!"
Ragatha: "She said she felt unsafe."
Loo: "Now I feel unsafe!"
Ragatha: "I’m sorry... would you like a knife?"
~
Caine: "How's the most beautiful person here~?"
Pomni: "I don't know, how are they~?"
Caine: *flustered* "I-"
Seth: *from across the room* "I'm doing great, thanks!"
~
Jax: "We need to get through this locked door. Kinger, give me your credit card."
Kinger: Here.
Jax: "Thanks." *Pockets the card* "Zooble, kick down the door."
~
Pomni: "Seth, can I talk to you for a second?"
Seth: "Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Caine are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?"
Pomni: *blushing furiously* "What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books."
Seth: *snorts*
~
Gangle: "Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night."
Ragatha: "You were flirting with Zooble."
Gangle: "So what? They're my partner."
Ragatha: "You asked them if they were single."
Gangle:
Ragatha: "And then you cried when they said they weren't."
~
Caine: "Pomni, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?"
Pomni: "I don’t know, love you, talk to you later."
Caine: "Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Kinger."
Pomni: *realizing* "WAIT-"
~
Pomni: "You have to apologize to Caine."
Seth: "Fine....Unfuck you or whatever."
~
Jax: "Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container."
Kinger: "The cow???"
Jax: "What?"
Ragatha: "Kinger, W H Y?"
~
Pomni: "Do you have any skeletons in your closet?"
Abel: "You mean literally or figuratively?"
Pomni: "Honestly, the fact that I have to specify..."
~~~
A/N: Heh, these where fun. I might need to do more
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forest-falcon · 2 days
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The Butterfly Effect
Chptr 17
It's been a while since I've last updated this fic, but here it is - the next chapter of The Butterfly Effect. Hope you enjoy! And thanks for everyone's lovely support with this story. Hopefully it won't be as long before the next chapter is out 🤞
No major tags for this one - minor angst, whump and a bit of family fluff thrown in!
💙💚🧡💛💜🐦‍🔥🚒
John was torn. Torn between all those who needed him. Torn between duty and love. But, in the end, the choice was easy. His place was on the GDF carrier headed for Auckland, at the side of his brothers and Grandmother.
The post-mission clean up (if it could indeed be called that), the press, and the rest of the world waiting on them, would simply have to manage. God knows, he was having to.
Hauling himself aboard, he gently touched the painted name of the carrier, before finding a vacant seat next to Tam.
"Welcome aboard!" Colonel Casey greets, over the sounds of the engines, and flicking of buttons.
Val had been good to them. As soon as she had a functional comms line up and working, she'd taken the initiative to pull strings with a number of contacts. Phoenix would be allowed the time off from their regular civilian jobs back home to help with getting International Rescue back onto their feet, if they so wished.
It was a unanimous 'yes.'
"We're here for as long as you need us," her words held a warmth befitting her honorary Aunt status. She'd squeezed his shoulder, before brushing a stray lock of hair out of Scott's face.
"Thanks," John sighed, with a gratitude that somehow furthered his exhaustion.
Although it was in the world's best interest to see International Rescue functioning again, as swiftly as possible; it was good to know that people had their backs when the chips were down.
Val made her way to the front of the carrier and a flutter of garish Hawaiian fabric filled the seat.
Gordon peered over the eldest brother.
"Hey there, Bird Bath! How's the head?"
A groan, but Scott's eyes remained shut.
"Gords..."
"The one and only!"
Scott could hear his brother's Cheshire Cat grin.
"As your brother, I feel it's my duty to tell you that that landing was...*raspberry* stinko, awful...I've seen Rigby land better!" He gave a thumbs down.
"Ah, save it! Yours is the one Thunderbird that doesn't fly," Rigby deadpanned, from the cockpit.
"Make him stop," Scott's hoarse whisper is mainly levied at John, but entreats any and all who can hear him.
"Gladly. Just tell me how," John smirks, finally letting his shoulders drop a fraction.
"Ah, don't be like that... Hey, I know what'll cheer you both up!"
"No."
"A good ole sea shanty!" Gordon whips out his pocket device.
"Veto."
"Aww, really John? Not even, 'Leave her Johnny, leave her?'"
"Especially not that."
"Fine. I've got you..."
A moment passes as Gordon scrolls, then taps; and the hangar bursts into song.
"Eurovision!"
Virgil reopens his eyes to the sounds of...wait, is that Conchita Wurst?
Oh God, Gordon - Rise Like a Phoenix...really? Phoenix. This was definitely Gordon's taste in music - and humour.
Virgil doesn't remember being hover-stretchered to the hangar, but it's good to hear the voices of his family once more.
"Stop your fussing. I'm fine,"
"I'll be the judge of that Mrs. Tracy."
"Matthew Eric Jones!" Grandma starts.
"She middle named me! Did y'hear that Mac? She middle named me!"
"Oooh! Now you're in for it!" Gordon's chimes in, clearly enjoying his inflight entertainment.
"I was a doctor-"
"-And now you're my patient. So, unless you're going to sign an AMA form, you'll sit back nicely, and let me do my job."
"Oooh, I like him." Grandma's voice concedes. "Fine. But if they keep me in, you're bringing the treats! And none of this basket of grapes rubbish. I'm talking chocolate and brandy - neat."
"It's a hospital, Grandma." John's voice reasons.
"And?"
"And you should know - better than most, that they're not gonna let us bring that in for you."
Grandma goes to fold her arms, then winces, with a concealed hiss.
"John. Kid. I'm old! Just stick it in a sippy cup and call it apple juice - they'll never know the difference!"
"Stop tryna...get John...into trouble."
It's a wonderful sound, hearing the deep rumble of baritone. Sally can feel a secondary tightness - one she could not attribute to her injury, leave her broken ribcage.
"Eh. Twas worth a shot." She offers up a warm smile, knowing he cannot see it - both her eldest grandsons sporting large foam trauma blocks; but she hopes he can hear the sentiment within her voice.
"Nice to have you back in the land of the living, kid!"
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inkskinned · 1 year
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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egoborderline · 1 month
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Whoever invented major depression with year(s) long episodes/groups of episodes should be vaporized i think
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mellotronmkll · 3 months
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Sorry talking about alcohol abuse in this post but I know im far from the first person to experience this but it sucks how all the periods of my life when im doing the best socially are when my drinking is completely out of control and then when I do stop drinking my social life falters because I completely rely on alcohol to socialize and I'm comically completely inept at it when I'm sober and it seems like it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it is. Like it feels like my options are just say fuck it and let myself be dependent on alcohol and have friends or not be an alcoholic and have no friends and be scared of leaving my house. Whatever lol
#I had a breakdown at 3 am last night and decided I need to quit again and then someone I want to be closer friends with invited me#To an event 100% centered around drinking where the expectation is that everyone brings a bottle#And like I need/want to say yes because I want to spend time with him and his friends but I'm like. Fuckkkkkking hell#And then I hVe a friends bday party where I really want to make a good impression and be sociable because there will be people there#Who I really want to befriend but there's no way I'll be able to do that if I'm staying sober so I'm just like#It's just so frustrating like and if I had better self control#It would be fine because I would only drink at things like this but I do not have that self control once I do that I just start drinking#Every single night for weeks LOL and I've tried to keep it reasonable or just cut down so many times#Like I think stopping is the only option but. How am I even supposed to do that while at the same time#Being at a point in my life where I'm trying REALLY hard to push myself out of my comfort zone#Like I'm just supposed to do that with sparkling water in my hand. Okay#And oh yeah I can't replace it with weed because weed has the opposite effect on me where if I smoke with anyone I'm not Extremely#Extremely comfortable around I go completely silent because I get so anxious it makes all my social difficulties 10x worse#Like I have tried to just have a thc seltzer at the bar when everyone else is drinking vodka sodas and it does Not work for me I start pani#Even when I smoke with people I am comfortable with I panic lately#SO I DONT KNOW!
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Real quick PSA for the followers, just to make sure my positions are clear on some issues and to make sure I am not causing any unintentional harm (that devolved into a minor hiatus):
-If I'm intending to talk about something specific, I'll mention it, I promise.
-I do be forgetting that you all recognize me on both my A03 and my tumblr. It is surprising to me every time. I tend to be vERY flippant on here, especially in my tags. I think we have reached a point where I should be more careful lol. I am not used to having an actual effect, so if I have an effect you don't appreciate, or I say something hurtful, please please bring it up to me! Dms, anon, replies; idc, I'm always down for a conversation.
-I am not in the business of apologies I do not mean, and I certainly do not back down from my opinions, I think that's been fairly clear. So, if I apologize it's because I mean it, and that won't change.
-I make a lot of posts that are critical of fandom culture in a lot of different fandoms, and culture around specific characters as well. I want it to be very clear that unless I am directly interacting with another user, then the criticism should never surround anyone specific. I never want to direct hate ever, unless I'm tagging.
-If there are questions about the appropriateness of my headcanon posts in response to asks, that can be changed. I would really hate to be making my very small community uncomfortable. I had thought I was fairly clear on the blogs boundaries and what I think is appropriate, but perhaps I haven't been careful enough. Please feel free to address issues with me, or to block me. That is always an option of course.
Uh, that being said, I might take a couple days. I have used this blog for fun and friends since 2015, it's not my first time fucking up nor will it be the last. But, it's upsetting to me that my blog might be harmful to some (who I hadn't intended it to be harmful to, it's always been an active warzone for irredeemable character excusers lol, since 2015). The queue will go on as usual but no new posts for a bit while I figure out if things need to change. I'll respond to DMs tho, probably, bc I'm obsessed with my mutuals.
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bookwyrminspiration · 8 months
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OH ALSO, QUIL! heading off to class in a bit but i wanted to ask you real quick how was it to play around with tense with your tamarelliana fic and what was your intent with it? i LOVE a good technical writing question i would like to offer you this (<- person who tense-switches constantly when writing and has to fix it all the time so cannot tell when it happens with other people's writing 😭)
(the fic in question)
OKAY! Messing with tense is a relatively new thing I've been trying out, because we're always told stay in the same tense don't mix up your tenses--and for good reason! It can be very confusing if we don't follow the rules! BUT! another thing writers are told is that you learn a skill so you can skillfully break it at times for artistic effect. enter tense switches
The way I've been utilizing it is switching to present from past tense for highly emotional/intense moments. This intends to mirror how it feels to experience intense emotion, how visceral and rooted to the moment you are--e.g. a panic attack where all you can think of is right now and everything blurs around you like through a fog and you're so in the present and in yourself it's like your whole perception of the world briefly changes (based on my limited experience).
Most of the present tense scenes in your fic are the shadowflux dreams--which then become like waking dreams. The flux in being written in a different tense is then characterized as something distinctly other, powerful, overwhelming. It is so different from these characters that it cannot even be written in the same way--which then means we can also track how Tam fluctuates between being like the others and being other. The narrative itself treats him differently when he gives in, because now he and the shadowflux are in the same tense--he now has this power, this presence, this disconnect and fog separating him from everything. He's part of a different story and in doing it, losing part of the him that fits with Biana and Marella--until they bring him back to himself.
The intention was to add emphasis to that surrender. The very way he existed (as he only exists in writing), was altered by the tense switch and associated comparisons. And in a less symbolic way, it's intended to just highlight what's happening right then. In past tense everything has already happened, even though you're reading about it for the first time in the present; in present tense, it is happening as you are reading about it, which can shift perspective to heighten drama and intensity when directly juxtaposed against something distant in past tense before it. Tam wasn't lost to the flux, he is lost. Currently. Right now, as you're reading it, he is dreaming and reaching for more. Which is different in tone and immediacy compared to Marella and Biana, who were stealing each others clothes and kissing.
I don't know how much sense this makes, but this is the general thought process. Both to heighten emotion by making you more in the moment--which has more oomph when juxtaposed against past tense rather than writing the whole thing in present--and by creating a distinction between Them and Other that can be used to track Tam's fluctuation between the two. At least that was the intention/theory behind it--who knows if it actually landed/was interpreted that way :)
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masquenoire · 2 years
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Rare footage of Roman getting arrested.
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scarletcomet · 2 years
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i am so normal and not mentally ill at all
#ok so im sorry to ppl who see this post before i delete it later but#i really want to sh and the only reason im like holding back is because scars#i have too many already and even if i tell myself i'll only do a little bit in an area that's easy to keep hidden i know that it's like#an addication and it's so hard to stop once you start and then the next thing you know you're out of space#the 2nd reason is because i don't want to break my 62 day streak on the calm harm app#i'm really out here having the same feelings about my days clean from sh as i do about my snapchat streaks or duolingo streaks huh#lmao#i'm really fucked up huh#i just need a few cuts but i know a few turns into 10 which turns into 50 and so on and then the same thing the next day#i know what relapses are like for me. 6 years of this shit now#maybe i should have thrown away all those blades back in september when i got clean again after a really bad relapse#i know exactly where they are hidden in the back of the drawer of my bedside table#i didn't throw them away because i wanted to have them 'just in case'#i guess having them there makes me feel idk safe?#anyways so sorry for posting this#im truly fine other than a little stressed and the overall self hatred#maybe i need to remember that i kinda freaked myself out several times the last relapse from like the severity of the wounds#i don't want to cut that deep though. at least rn. but i know once i start each cut just isn't 'bad' or deep enough so i keep going#ugh sorry for posting this idk what is wrong with me (other than the anxiety depression and adhd)#self harm tw
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Okay, that's enough Magnus Archives for today.
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#pickle pontificates#i REALLY want to turn off asks for the first time since I started tumblr#I don't post donation posts or anything with a call to action really#i can think of one or two times where I've done it in the past and it was from people i knew#a) this blog is for archiving stuff I want to see later (whether that's memes or fandom stuff or references or art or my own thoughts)#and b) I have always been very strict about not reblogging guilt trippy stuff bc although I don't have a lot of followers#I refuse to put that kind of thing on them#I'm very good at refusing things when I need to and recognizing when I don't have the money or resources to help#but I still have to deal with the impulse to help or do something every time anyway#so I imagine it's much harder and feels much worse for people who are already in a worse place mentally#I do not have the ability or time to vet every one of these things that winds up in my inbox#and them saying they've been vetted by some other random tumblr i know nothing about means nothing to me#and even if I did so many of them have very intense wording#which would be reasonable for someone in a very intense and horrible situation#but is absolutely not something I will platform to my followers who are in situations I know nothing about#even more so because again. I can't vet anything#if someone has the time and money to help out with that then it is not difficult to find legitimate charities and campaigns#and I trust that they will do it#so anyway. I can keep deleting the asks just fine but it would be easier to close the ask box#I'm still living with the delusion that I'll get unhinged anons someday though and I don't want to cut them off#they would enrich my life#addendum: if I follow you and you reblog donation posts btw this is not an indictment of that#I'm curating my own experience but I think it's cool for people to vet and signal boost and help and all that
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