#no wonder i got tired making this post yesterday. SO MUCH HAPPENS IN THIS EPISODE.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 14 thoughts

we left off on some pretty high stakes last episode: bridges burning, eyeballs oozing, etc. now we must jump back in!

this episode is called “the red and the black”, huh… (les mis starts playing in the distance)

post episode thoughts: damn. this episode was full of twists and turns. the CSM lore goes CRAZY. krycek is your problematic bisexual representation. i do not believe that genes determine someone's capacity for evil, but i am going to have to ask this spender fellow to please back tf away from our agents. marita, you must defeat the ratboy in combat. please increase your studies of the blade. and perhaps most importantly, i love when mulder is written first and foremost as scully's loverboy and partner. yeah.

we begin with a recap of last episode, and ewww, those poor boy's eyes are soooo drippy and gross.

WHO IS THIS WRITING TO THEIR SON??? and who is this little boy in the winter snow, forced to be the mailman?

this mystery man is typing up a letter mentioning war gods, while this young child is out in the woods. someone go fetch this small child. he is wandering about. knocking on someone’s door and receiving a letter and dollar bill 

the mystery man is sending this red enveloped letter to the FBI???

wait hold on… it's a man living deep in the woods… writing a letter to his son in the FBI… is this CSM playing on the bastard mulder allegations…? because the typewriter… it’s CSM coded…

a bold swing and likely an equally bold miss, but we shall see

(i was so close and yet so far from the truth)

YOOO THE INTRO WAS SHORT *AND* WE GOT DIFFERENT WORDS THIS TIME!!! it says “resist or serve”! it has been a while since those have gotten changed up. hmm. "resist or serve" i do not care for that!!

back to the bridge slash dam area where we last saw many people gathering, including cassandra and scully. the burning has taken place!!! it was in pennsylvania?! that’s a bit of a drive from DC!!!

the medical personnel are arriving, and so is mulder!!! he’s running on his absurdly long legs while his coat billows behind him!!! does he know scully was here????

look at these bodies, they’re burned beyond any recognition!! it's horrible.

is that scully he finds??? no, and thank god for that.

skinner is here!!! mulder is yelling at him, asking if she was here, and he says she is!! and she is alive!!!

she was huddled in the woods… with a bunch of other survivors… and she had burns, but strangely all her fluids and electrolytes were gone!! the nurse tells these two men to gtfo because she is in vasogenic shock, which is not a term i know the meaning of 

look at mulder touching her hair while she is unresponsive...

(god, getting in those medical devices for a scene must be the worst)

they’re taking her away and he’s trying to follow!!! but they’re taking her in the helicopter. i thought for a second he would try and hop on and cause a scene, but he actually didn't do this.

(gruff skinner voice) “what happened here, mulder?” “the answer just got loaded onto that chopper!”

omg… are krycek’s people going to be after her, too?!? like they were after that poor boy dmitri??

agent spender is here, too. he wants to know if his mother has been found. :(

jump to a wildly different scene. is the well-groomed man a surgeon?? we see that marita is intubated!!! she was found on the roadside after her cryptic call with mulder, and it doesn’t look good for her survival. nooo, she has to live so she can backstab krycek. please hear me, queen.

OHHH he opens her eyeball and sees it covered in that nasty black oil stuff… and the syndicate is watching from above?!?! what will they do!! can they run some trials??

MULDER BRUSHING SCULLY’S HAIR TO WAKE HER UP IN THE HOSPITAL BED AND THEN SMILING GENTLY AT HER…. OH MY GOD I NEED TO LAY DOWN

if you could HEAR the noise that just came out of my throat….

LOOK AT HIM LOOKING AT HER, OH MY GOOOOOD

she asks what time is it and he LAUGHS!! oh my god, she nearly died and she just wants to know the hour... scully, you are so precious

he laughs at this question and she asks “why are you laughing?” <-OH SHE’S SELF-CONSCIOUS. STOP. I’LL CRY!!!

“i’m not laughing at you. i’m just very happy to be standing here talking to you, that’s all” <- OH MY GOD HE LOVES HER SO BAAAAAAAD he was so gentle in that explanation

(god. rereading these notes is killing me all over again. he loves her, he loves her, he loves her, a million times over. the way he explained to her that he's not making fun of her, he's just relived she's okay... oh mulder. you sweet man. absolute pathetic wet cat of a guy. you are so dear to me)

((SEE, WRITERS? see what mulder can be?! this is the man i recognize! jot that down! he's a lover!))

she asks him what she is doing here, suddenly panicked. and he gently explains, raising her bed so she can sit up while taking a seat next to her. oh my god. the tenderness. it will kill me a thousand times.

(there is something addictive stored in hospital scenes. the relief of realizing that someone is still with you, the terrible possessiveness it provokes after you almost lost them, realizing how lucky you are to have them in your life, loving someone at their most vulnerable, and the person in the hospital bed allowing themselves to be loved and cared for......... bottle it up. let it sit in the cellar and i'll pour it out only on the most special of occasions)

she can’t remember what happened. oh my god, she’s so scared :( the report on the incident is playing in her room.

she has no memories of what went on at the dam, but at this time a nurse comes in and lays her back down, saying she needs her blood pressure to come back up, and shooing mulder out. oh, i paused to write this down and she looks like a deer in the headlights. so trapped.

he says he’ll come back, but she has something to say!!! he’s out the door with a thumb’s up, though, trying to reassure her it'll be okay as she has no idea wtf is going on 

i’ve said it once i’ll say it again: poor scully :(

agent spender is here!! they didn’t find his mother, and he wants to know what mulder was “doing with her”. she hasn’t driven in a long time, and he knows scully was meeting with her!!! he wants them to leave her alone :( but now scully is wrapped up in this, too. so his mother might be the key to getting answers. agent spender, you may not get your wish.

oh, back to the russian ship in the new york harbor. krycek is chained up!!! well-groomed man is here… is some torture about to go down??

he says that the ship is heading back to russia tomorrow, and he is (sarcastically) sure that krycek's gulag pals will be happy to see him after his whole cutting and running deal. well-groomed man is dripping water into his mouth, and it’s making me thirsty.

OHHH get him for me: “your alliance with her was as misguided as ours, but it appears she was unaware of the consequences of her deception” marita... you are so mysterious...

omg, so krycek infected the boy so that anyone who betrayed him would also get infected!!!!

damn. did not wanna see krycek taking the W here. marita, you NEED to get better NOW and get some revenge.

but dmitri is dead!!! he died in the pennsylvania incident. 

krycek says that well-groomed man has to make a deal with him… but well-groomed man is no fool!

NOOOO I GOOGLED THE WELL-GROOMED MAN TO MAKE SURE I WAS USING THE RIGHT NAME (and i WASN’T, it’s “WELL-MANICURED MAN” and i got a SPOILER💔)

this is why i should not do these things. if i call someone by the wrong name, y’all are just gonna have to let me know in the replies and cringe through my mistaken posts.

damn. 

well. it’s been 2 seasons. i might as well keep calling him the wrong name.

okay, so he put together that if krycek was willing to infect the boy, he also must have had a cure for him, developed by the russians. krycek is silent at this. 

AND THIS WOULD MEAN RESISTANCE TO THE COLONISTS IS NOW POSSIBLE ‼️‼️

OHHH well-groomed man is YELLING AT HIM!!!! “DO YOU HAVE THE VACCINE?” damn, it's very echo-y place to yell, in the bottom of a soviet ship. 

hmm… well-groomed man leaves. i hope he finds the vaccine and it is not copyrighted by anyone and the whole world can become immune to oil aliens. this is the good ending.

okay, what the hell is going on now! a plane just exploded? where did this take place?? someone is dragging a body away. and a ton of military personnel are moving in. 

OMG THE BODY DRAGGER IS THE NO FACE GUY FROM BEFORE!!! who was lighting the people on fire in the last episode!! is he an alien?? was that his spaceship??

back to more important matters at hand: scully. she’s looking through the photos of the incident at the dam that she was in attendance of, but cannot recall anything. and she is sitting up now, so that means improvement!

she cannot tell you where this place even is- but none of the other survivors have been able to give an account, either. very interesting that they felt called there but cannot recount it.

mulder found more implants in the bodies, which would explain how she and the others got there. must be her new implant that cured the cancer also inspires the feelings of restlessness that brought the others abductees to the dam. but it doesn’t explain why they wanted those people dead, or why she lived.

“all comes down to a question, scully, one that hasn’t been answered or… i don’t even think honestly addressed: who made that chip in your neck?” <- OH SHOOT... HE’S (finally) GOING THERE!!!

it was found in a military research facility… he’s convinced it was the government that did all this, to do biological experiments and warfare

“the truth i’ve been searching for? the truth is in you” <- oh my god… the truth being her… hold on, i need a moment for that one.

the truth being something that is physically within someone, and as a result, being able to hold The Truth; the truth being the forceful result of autonomy being stripped away; the truth being an act of violence; the truth being the north star that guides you; all of these things being in contradiction and embodied in dana scully. i am getting ideas for poetry out of this line. everybody say thank you mulder for making me want to pick up a pencil.

oh shoot. i sense some stuff is about to go down.

“mulder, when i met you five years ago, you told me that your sister had been abducted… by aliens” (he smiles, as if thinking his past self is foolish, or recalling that first night together, or both of these things)

“that that event had marked you so deeply that nothing else mattered. i didn’t believe you, but i followed you, on nothing more than your faith that the truth was out there, based not on facts, not on science, but on your memories that your sister had been taken from you. your memories were all that you had”

(faith being a motif in scully's life... faith not in what he thinks, but in him as a person... belief being a motif in both of their lives in opposite directions... her faith placed in him and in science, and his in her and in the unknown... man, hold on...)

“i don’t trust those memories now”, he points out.

“well, whether you trust them or not, they’ve led you here. and me. but i have no memories to either trust nor distrust, and if you ask me now to follow you again, to stand behind you in what you now believe, without knowing what happened to me out there, without those memories, i can’t. i won’t”

oh my god. ohhhh my god. is this the end? do they travel no further upon this twisted road together? and if it is the end, can we even blame her?

he gets up and looks out the window, probably to conceal the inner turmoil

he wants to give her those memories, to prove that what he believed for so long was wrong… but she asks if that is really what he wants

:( :(

this has the sort of emotional weight that makes me think i'll be unpacking it for decades. i will give it room to nestle into my soul, break my heart, and then dissect it in detail at a later time.

back to the syndicate. according to their reports, the guy with no face seems to have lost his facial features in self-mutilation done as protection (??). no facial features is protection against infection by the black oil!!! omg!!!

he’s an alien rebel!!!! omg!! that is what the boy saw last episode! so this alien rebel was the one that did the torching!! he’s fighting against the alien colonists!!!

a war has begun!!! 

OH SHIT!!! well-groomed man HAS the vaccine!! it was what was in that bottle that krycek stole last episode! do you think he’s telling the truth, or just bluffing to try and inspire resistance against the colonists?! well, we can find it out if we inject marita...

well-groomed man wants to side with the rebel, but the other dude says that the alien colonists will squash them! a terrible dilemma. reminds me of the civil war plotline in skyrim. you must take a stand against the aliens!!!!

so they inject marita….

but before we can learn if that mystery liquid krycek snatched from the gulag has any effects on marita, we cut to dr. werber’s office!!! he asks if scully is okay with this, and she quietly says she is. mulder is playing with his tie on the other end of the couch.

oh my god, so even though he didn't trust his own memories, he's going to bring her to his doctor to undergo the same process? he must really want to prove she experienced what she did.

the doctor is laying her down, and she’s watching mulder before she closes her eyes and tries to relax everything…. is it going to work??

OH!! she’s screaming!!! and mulder is freaked tf out as she does so!!!

she’s recalling the ship flying over…

and she’s groaning, tapping the couch next to mulder, wordlessly asking for him to hold her hand as she relives the awful moments (oh my GOD???)

she’s remembering the people with no faces lighting the others on fire. and there’s another ship!! and the rebels are burned up by the ship!! 

and then the second ship TAKES cassandra!! from right next to her!! they all lift their hands in supplication and she rises up out of her wheelchair!!! the aliens beam her up!!

she’s still yelling when the doctor tries to get her to come back, and it takes three tries to do so. she finally does, and she’s still panting when she turns to look at mulder and asks him if he was there the whole time. and he nods.

so that means that her body knew she needed to hold his hand despite her not being mentally present at all... the way they need each other...

holy fuck, we have never seen scully screaming in that level of distress before. and we have seen some CRAZY scully distress!! like when she lost her father, or when she confronted her sister’s killer. but this was SO out of body, the whole thing, like watching her worst nightmare.

and what is mulder thinking right now?? is he back in his alien era?? how does it feel to watch your best friend scream and scream in terror, knowing you can do nothing to stop it because the terrible things already happened??

please just cuddle for a bit, you two. take a breather.

SKINNER LISTENED TO THE TAPE OF HER BEING HYPNOTIZED!!! oh my god. imagine your boss listening to your worst memories…

despite sitting through scully having her own experience, mulder still refers to the memory of his sister’s abduction as false. so does he think this didn’t really happen to scully, either? i mean, they found her body there, and like 50 dead people! if i’m mulder i’d be thinking gee, maybe i was wrong about the memories of my youth being false!! this seems a little suspicious!! what is this man thinking...?

skinner clarifies that he needs to make a REPORT and this is nothing to go on. well. this is not unusual. 

mulder says the whole thing was staged by the government, and cassandra was taken by a military aircraft. but i ask: how would the government manage to kill 50 people and embed false memories in the others??

i mean, false memories through repeated hypnotherapy sessions for just mulder seems possible. it would take a while, but maybe they could convince him of the nature of his sister's disappearance being supernatural. but how could they do that so suddenly, and to so many people at once? i'm not buying it.

this explanation does not seem to please the pensive skinner

“over the past five years, i’ve doubted you, only to be persuaded by the power of your belief in extraterrestrial phenomena. and i’m doubting you now not because of that belief, but… because extraterrestrial phenomena is, frankly, the more plausible explanation” <- ohhh, we are allowed some insight into the enigma that is skinner’s mind…

(it is actually really interesting to see how skinner views mulder and the nature of his work and beliefs. i've wondered where he falls on the spectrum of believer to non-believer for a while; i guess i thought he was somewhere in the middle, not committed to anything beyond catching the bad guy of the day. if using secret psychic thwarting tricks helps get a killer off of the streets, by all means, he'll let mulder give it a go. but i think his skepticism on the authenticity of his claims makes sense. sure buddy, you can go buy a ghost detecting machine if it makes the public safer. just... get things done)

“then i suggest you put that in your report”, snaps mulder, who gets up to leave. BRO IS ALWAYS SO SNIPPY WITH SKINNER. HE IS ON YOUR SIDE. BE NICE TO HIM. meanwhile scully is sitting here in immense pain trying to figure out wtf is going on….

back to marita. the other syndicate guy is proclaiming that the vaccine does not work. he wants to turn the alien rebel over!!

but well-groomed man says they have to hold onto him- if they turn him in, they lose all chance of resistance!! i’m lowkey with him here. like, through the power of friendship everything is possible. consider that.

NOOO, this other guy says he already turned the alien rebel back over, and well-groomed man is left in shock! how wild our narrative is that i had come to root for him for a brief moment, and now feel sad that his ideas have been shot down!!

why is agent spender down in the basement office... did he let himself into the office of our agents? i do not like this one bit. he is not visually intimidating, but his aura is unsettling.

what is this dude doing…? he says he’s here about his mother. but he’s asking scully weird questions…

he wants to know what scully and his mother talked about. then he starts playing a video of baby him!!! and it seems he is doing regression hypnosis, and he’s recalling cassandra going up into the sky. but he says none of it happened!!! he said his mom told him to say those things!!!

he claims she told the story over and over again to make up for the fact that his dad left them and it drove his mother insane. which. doesn't really explain everything, but i guess it's a start.

he thinks dr. werber indulged in his mother’s fantasies and that his methods are dangerous and unsound, and she ought to question anything she experienced in his office

“well i appreciate your opinion, agent spender,  but i don’t have a mother feeding me abduction stories” <- GET HIM ‼️

“you’ve got agent mulder, don’t you?” <- OHHH, DON’T GO THERE YOU BRAT. and besides, he doesn’t even BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF ANYMORE. get lost.

(editing these notes and this pissed me tf off again. because how dare he imply that mulder is manipulating her psychologically instead of being her partner and seeing her as an equal? god forbid the two of them respect each other. no, clearly it MUST be that the man is taking advantage of the woman, tricking her into thinking alien thoughts in the same way spender's mother did to him. right?!? (heavy on the /s, btw) don't piss me off, buddy. implying their relationship is not built on mutual respect is going to piss me off EVERY time, no matter who is comes from!!!)

he tells her not to let herself be used, and there are tears in her eyes :( well right now, mr. spender, you seem like the one doing the using

when mulder gets home, he finds a note on the floor: “things are looking up” OH SHIT, SOMEONE IS ATTACKING HIM

“you must be losing it, mulder. i can beat you with one hand” GTFO KRYCEK I’M SERIOUS!!! I’LL CALL PEST CONTROL

“isn’t that how you like to beat yourself?” <- LMAOOOOO mulder may be on the ground with a gun in his face, but that man ALWAYS has a one liner 

“hear this, agent mulder, because what i’m telling you is deadly serious: there is a war raging, and unless you pull out of the sand, you and i and about five billion other people are going to go the way of the dinosaur” <- oh shit… he has to pick a side… between the colonists and the resistance!!

is the whole fate of the world really in his hands? can he not share that responsibility with his friends?

mulder is laughing at his claims of alien colonization. 

“one rule: resist or serve” <- KRYCEK SAID THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN

he calls krycek a murder and a liar and a coward, and asks how is he supposed to trust him!!! points were made!!

the mass incinerations were to disrupt the colonization… and one man is being held captive. if he dies, so does the resistance. hmm. how do you know all this, krycek? source: trust me bro

DID HE JUST KISS MULDER???

krycek is your problematic bisexual representation… wow. who would have guessed?

(been 3 days now since i watched this episode and i am STILL shocked. yeah yeah i KNOW he's russian, and european people smooch sometimes when they say hello, but that is NOT what happened here. at all. he was pinning mulder to the ground, filled with fury, and then lust overtook, as it so often does)

he gives his gun to mulder…. and says good luck in russian, leaving a very angry and sad agent on the floor. damn. i also need a moment to process that. 

let us take some time together to ponder.

okay.

HEY! i know this guy from the air force base! he’s the alien bounty hunter!! and he’s breaking in!!!

mulder is sitting on his couch in despair when in comes scully.

“what are you doing sitting here in the dark?” “thinking” “about what?” “oh the usual- destiny, fate, how to throw a curveball… the inextricable relationships in our lives that are neither accidental nor somehow entirely in our control, either” <- poetic!!

the intimacy of knocking on your bestie's door and he is just sitting there pondering with all of the lights off... wow.

she comes to tell him she’s reconsidered her experiences with dr. werber!! nooo, do not let spender get to you!! and mulder has also done some reconsidering of his own… 

has his alien era returned??

krycek’s note left the name of an air base on the back!! they must go to find answers!!

no mention of the kiss to scully, which is fine i guess. but i would have been curious to see her reaction. she's pretty unflappable, although maybe she'd say he's unfolding like a flower again. and he’s out the door. 

they’re being let into the base at night. poor scully looks very sleepy. 

OHHH THE GUY DOESN’T WANT TO LET THEM IN…. and he says his name wrong (lmao), so mulder says there is a leak and that someone inside requires immediate medical aid.

HE CALLS THE GUY “SON”? “why don’t you go check on that, son. i’d hate for somebody to die because you were uninformed” <- woah. that was very weird. him calling someone that feels off and strange.

mulder wants to gun it to get into the facility while the gate guy is investigating his claims, but scully is surprised to know that she recognizes the driver of the truck across from them!!!

while the guard is being told he needs to place our agents under military arrest, mulder has hatched onto the back of the other truck!! scully is just sitting there like wtf, and is now being arrested. he loves to jump on a moving vehicle. 

so he’s inside this tented area on the back of the truck and finds a locked box with the faceless alien rebel inside!!!! but the truck is stopping; have they been caught??

OH!! the guy driving IS THE SHAPESHIFTER!!! and he’s coming to go get the faceless rebel. what is mulder to do???

alien bounty hunter is coming to get the rebel; he pops out the needle…. but something is afoot! everything is bathed in light and shaking!!! 

the faceless man is being lifted up… but mulder screams “noooooooo” and fires his gun??? THAT WAS VERY BLURRY AND CONFUSING!! what just happened!!!!

are we back to marita now?? yes, we are!!! she seems to be free of oil in her eyes!!!

meanwhile, mulder is being arrested, but the rebel alien isn’t there!!! WHERE DID HE GOOOO?!

the agents are going on a date to jail. he’s covered in sweat and he doesn’t know what happened while he was out there….. she grabs his hand…. so romantic

spender is arriving into skinner’s office. what is going on here? he shared there is no news about his mother. oh, mulder has opened a xx file on the case…

skinner clarifies that this has no effect on spender's position in the FBI. and mentions that he has a patron who thinks highly of him??? WHO??? no one knows??? someone with a high level of influence??? oh, that is concerning. 

IS IT HIS DAD???

when he walks out her gets a letter from quebec… and it’s in a red envelope!! the same as that kid was holding at the very start of the episode!!!!

up in quebec, that kid is delivering another letter to the mysterious cabin…. and the letter was returned.

IT’S CSM??????? 

I KNEW HE WASN’T DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CSM has a son and a family he left…. omfg…. and he’s hiding out in CANADA???? 

THIS ANSWERED NO QUESTIONS. AND EVEN RAISED NEW ONES.

okay, after seeing the whole episode, here are my thoughts:

still losing it at krycek kissing mulder’s cheek. i just KNOW the slash girlies were losing their MINDS. as they had every right to do! i felt your joy across time and space.

so, the vaccine against the alien oil works! if we can simply inject every single person in the world, we should be able to put up a resistance fight!! and also we will need to get a lot of those green needles that kill the shapeshifting aliens. which probably also come from outer space. so we'll need a mass scale smuggling. no biggie. /s

what happened to the resistance fighter??? did he get out?? was he taken away by the evil colonist aliens?? 

and who bailed these two out!!!

is mulder back in his believer era?? he has to be!!! 

marita is alive… you have to stop the ratboy, queen. you need to lock in. idgaf if he’s the one who knows about the aliens. wait until the alien stuff is sorted out and then stab him. for me. train hard to complete the task you have been assigned.

CSM HAD A FAMILY!!! HOLY HELL, LET’S CIRCLE BACK TO THAT SHALL WE?? and he left them!!! but he kept writing letters!! that is CRAZY!!!

rip my boy dmitri :(

i watched this episode 3 days ago and there is still SO much to process. it might take a long time. typical jam-packed sort of episode. is this what we refer to as the "myth arc"? because it establishes the mythology and main plot? am i using this term correctly? please do share. and also please tell me if the following things gagged you:

CSM alive reveal, CSM family reveal, alien rebel reveal, marita knowing krycek reveal, krycek smooching mulder reveal, scully screaming under hypnosis, mulder gently brushing her hair out of her face, etc etc. thank you very much.

[dropthedemiurge]

Boys Be Brave [EP.4] // Translation notes

Not so many this time so let me know if you're curious about anything else, I'll point out what I thought was interesting^^

"If you like someone, you start to feel ashamed/embarrassed. I'd rather die than to show him how embarrassing I am."

This interestingly ties to my previous post! Where I mentioned that Balgeum said the same word in another phrase: "Don't follow me around like a clueless fool. It's fucking embarrassing".

He didn't use any other specific words so I noted how vague it was, and I wonder if he was trying to tell Inho he was shameful for clinging to him but that's actually a word he found to describe his own feelings towards Inho. It doesn't matter whether Balgeum spends his entire life in poverty, debts and hustling as he said he's used to it, but he's ashamed of being with someone, even loving someone while he's so pitiful in his own eyes. A hole in his sock, family in financial ruins, he just doesn't dare to see a carefree happiness for himself, and he punishes and curses himself out for even having hope.

What is also interesting – I'm not sure whether other character names really have meanings or wordplays, but 밝음 means "brightness". Which also feel like a bit of a cruel joke to be named like that and live such tiring and grey life.

I was so confused with the subs here. I can guess what they tried to go for, but Kiseob literally says '아쉬었어', "I feel a bit bad about yesterday =)" It's a word that can be translated to "It's such a shame that... (something happened)", "It's too bad that... (I didn't achieve something)", like you can say it when you tried to buy a ticket but they were all sold out instantly. Or you missed some opportunity and regret it now.

We know Kiseob was talking about something else (I think he wanted to say it's too bad that he and Jinwoo couldn't enjoy making out for longer or something) but it's no wonder Jinwoo got so offended by this, because he thought Kiseob meant he regretted that he even kissed Jinwoo yesterday because the kiss was too bad. Does this sentence even make sense?xD

And that's why he started riling himself up and freaking out that it was all because of his kissing skills.

That's Kiseob's confusion right there after seeing that Jinwoo fled the scene after his comment. He didn't actually call himself a pervert of anything but he wondered what was wrong with his words, were they too much for Jinwoo to run away. I do believe he meant that it was too bad that nothing much happened after that kiss yesterday instead xD

So he apologized via message that it might've been too much and he will be careful from now on. Jinwoo, of course, read that completely differently again. And then Jinwoo angrily tells him not to be so arrogant after just that first kiss (he's not good but he'll be with practice, and Kiseob should not be the judge!). Meanwhile (I think) Kiseob is confused and focuses on the word 'the first kiss', so to him, that might sound like a promise of more to come, therefore he just sends 'okay'? But he also says they didn't really get to talk about their kiss later. I might be confused with the last msg too x)

Miscommunication, BL's beloved.

(if you're curious about the heart and emoji message, it was from the last time, Kiseob sent "I want to give you something as a last gift... can you come out?". And idk why, the message before that says 'Refridgerator', probably also something from 1-2 episodes xD)

"Who are you to evaluate me?" The boy really thinks Kiseob is the alpha expert on love, daring and romance, and he misjudges him himself huh xD

"By the way, you become weak-hearted if someone is hurt". My interpretation of this line – Kiseob talks about how Jinwoo cares about him and his wound anyway, despite all his defenses and rejections. Jinwoo, of course, denies and says it's because Kiseob will be a nuisance when he' gets's hurt.

Just a little nuance – Kiseob asks Jinwoo about everything, he doesn't say it in a mocking factual way at all. "Your schedule is disrupted because you like me, right? And you did that (kissed me) yesterday because you like me, right? Why do you like me?"

He is constantly asking because he doesn't know the difference. He is trying to understand himself through Jinwoo's feelings, so he asks. Asks why people like, how do they like, how does that feeling manifest in real life – because he doesn't know anything, even if he likes Jinwoo, he doesn't know why, he doesn't really realize it himself. He doesn't know why he kissed. He dated but he never experienced the feeling of love. He can't give Jinwoo any honest answers yet. Well, he's honest that he's not sure about anything, but it's not the answer planning-and-unambiguous Jinwoo wants to hear.

Can I just step out of BL show for a lil bit and say that I really liked them?! I think they were adorable together. Too bad polar opposites attracts and Jinwoo needs Kiseob and not the certain copy of himself (who also isn't the prim and perfect as she shows herself).

Anyway! There is one point in Jinwoo's perfect-ideal-type checklist which says 'To have J in the name like in 'JIN-woo''. 진 (jin) can also come from 'truth' so he invented that symbolic connection/condition for a partner. Which is also why Kiseob in the previous episode wanted to change his name to the one that includes J as well, but he choose the name 'Jongji' which had a ridiculous meaning of 'stop'. Again, technically correct but absolutely far from what Jinwoo actually wanted.

Isn't it interesting that, even though he went on a day with his Ideal Type, Jinwoo still enjoyed not the library date or the meaningful messages, but the game arcade time? The one that's supposed to be meaningless and not productive and with the purpose of just having fun? And he kept being distracted by the illusions/thoughts of Kiseob?:D Yeeeah... Maybe your perfect type checklist needs some revisions, Jinwoo.

About the side couple – I was right! They will go to three dates because Balgeum gave in. He even will sacrifice his never-ending-worktime for that. Hehe. He also says 'I have to become rich' with determination which in my mind, connecting to his 'I'd rather die than look so embarrassing to Inho' means that he now has a new goal. To... I guess, work even HARDER to be able to have a chance dating Inho. Will they even work out right now? No one knows, but it's obvious they both are willing to give it a second chance.

And the last bit – it's pretty obvious, but Hyejin actually shouts 'You fucking bastard!!!', which is so hilarious.

[rekino2114]

Blind date with Veronika grebenshchikova

Pairing:Veronika grebenshchikova x male reader

A/n: episode 12 was great, Charles was the mvp and it ended on a pretty big cliffhanger. We also got to see this Veronika quote:

(I love her so much)

Anyway I have an announcement to make starting today I will be doing a weekly drdt post every Saturday until chapter 2 is finished (I know the episodes come out on Friday but they actually come out at 1 am where I live) next Saturday will actually be the first genderbent post about this fandom (you can probably guess who it's gonna be)

This is kinda inspired by red flags by Tom Cardy and montaigne (with a twist), I put it here if you wanna listen to it, i know i'm not the first person to say this but that song is just Veronika (sorry for the really long note)

Veronika got set up on a blind date by her classmates ,mostly because they were tired of her creeping them out and wanted to pass that burden on someone else, so they asked whit to match her with someone and he chose you.

You waited at the table that you booked for you and the girl you were supposed to meet, you were slightly nervous about the date, mostly because you were scared your date would be put off by you as it's not the first time that happened but the ultimate matchmaker matched you together so you had hope.

You saw a red haired girl enter the restaurant and approach your table

"Hey, are you y/n l/n by any chance?"

"Yeah are you Veronika?"

She smiled and sat down across from you

"Yep, it's great to meet you"

"You too, I really dig your look, those fake eyeballs look amazing"

"Oh thanks so much, you're actually the first person to say that"

"Really? That's a shame, they're great"

"I think it kinda spooks people"

"Well I don't get spooked easily"

"*giggle* well then I think this date might go better than I thought"

You started talking for a bit until a waiter arrived to take your orders

"Oh I'll take a stake,very rare,I want to see the blood"

"I was about to order the same thing"

"Oh really?"

"Yes I love seeing blood in what I eat"

"Same!!"

Your waiter got very freaked out and left as you continued talking

"So what's your favorite movie?"

"Oh......it's human centipede"

"Huh? Really?"

"Yes I know it's weird but-"

"That's my favorite movie too"

"........what?"

"Yes I love seeing all the body horror and the fear on the actors faces its amazing"

"...do you like scream too?"

"I have a Ghostface mask in my closet so I can prank my friends"

"Saw?"

"I also have a Billy the puppet doll there"

"Halloween?"

"Micheal Myers is my lock screen"

".......marry me"

".....what?"

"Sorry if I'm too forward, but I think we might be soulmates. You know how I said I go to Hope's peak"

"Yeah I was wondering what ultimate you were"

"Weeeeel let me introduce myself formally, I am Veronika grebenshchikova the ultimate horror fanatic"

"....really?"

"Yes I adore all things horror and I see that I have found a kindred spirit"

"Absolutely, I love horror too, I didn't know Hope's peak considered that a talent if I did I would have probably asked to join"

"This is amazing, you're the only person I know who has a love for horror other than me, now I see why paired us together"

You continued to talk about horror movies and eat, and after eating dessert(feeding each other the red jam in the cake to make it seem like blood) you walked Veronika home, who very happily accepted another date.

[Timeskip]

Some time after your date Veronika is talking with her classmates in the cafeteria

"Y/n is the sweetest guy ever, do you know what he did for me yesterday? He carved my name with a heart on a tree in a graveyard so romantic"

"....how is that romantic?"

"That's just disgusting and unsanitary"

"Soooooo I did well matching you together didn't I?"

"100%, we've been dating for only a few days but I already feel soooo happy and in love"

"Well at least she won't bother me anymore"

"Says the guy who can't leave j alone for more than 5 minutes"

"Shut up"

Everyone got distracted by the door opening, and you coming out of it, especially Veronika who immediately tackled you into a hug

"Darling, what are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I love that you visited me, but you're not a student"

"Well now I am actually, I asked if I could "share" your talent since I love horror as much as you and they said yes"

Veronika squealed happily and peppered your face in kisses

"That's amazing now we can spend even more time together, I have to show you my dorm it's full of horror stuff I know you'll love"

"I can't wait to see it"

As you two walked away happily a look of horror appeared on teruko and Arturo's faces

"Awww how cute, seeing happy couples like these is why I love thi- ow! What was that for?"

"You idiot, do you understand what you did, now there's two horror psychopaths in this school"

"All of the heart attacks Veronika gives us daily are gonna be doubled"

"Weeeeel, she didn't really do anything scary to me before. In fact, you two seem to be the ones she likes pranking the most, so I suggest you prepare yourselves"

".........fuck......."

[megabuild]

genuinely very sorry if this is unwelcome discourse but i was just thinking about the discussions about secret life and wild life feeling so vastly different from the other series (due to the gimmicks and all) and how much of the fanbase has expressed discontent with it and it all makes me wonder what kind of decisionmaking happened in the planning and the background — i say this specifically bc it’s all been making me wonder if the shift to more ~gimmicks instead of player interacrions as a means to move the “plot” forward was something that was a strategy consciously and actively decided on? like it makes me wonder if grian/the other ccs/whoever were feeling like it was getting harder to maintain viewer momentum in a medium like the life series because of knowing just how much of an emphasis the audience places on mundane words and conversation if that makes sense. even if /we/ know the fandom would never get tired of overanalyzing that stuff. like i wonder if the shift to gimmicks was intended to provide a crutch of sorts to give the ccs more of something to work with to make content, instead of consistently feeling like they’re trying to squeeze interesting and dramatic content out of being on a minecraft server with their friends, which i feel like could be an understandable worry after so many seasons of the same? does any of this make sense im mostly just pondering aloud, do you have any thoughts? obviously everything in the world can be infinitely nuanced and i don’t necessarily agree w the logic if that is the case but idkkkkk i hope the ccs are truly just having fun with their friends if nothing else

not unwelcome at all, and i agree with a lot of what you've said but i do think you're falling into the same trap a lot of people discussing this series do, which is that you have put the focus entirely on the fandom space you (and i) engage with, when in actual fact, that's only a small section of the people the ccs are trying to please. the gimmickification of recent seasons could be in part a response to fandom's interpretation of events (because we know some CCs feels the need to deal with this- see sos amp's "lore ban" and the resulting backlash) but i think it's far more likely an attempt at dealing with youtube's push for content-heavy videos.

this also sort of ties into the idea of "so much of the fanbase" disliking yesterday's session, which i'm guilty of falling into the trap of too, as i said my dash was very divided. but any one of our dashes isn't a great indicator of what the majority are feeling, just like hate posts on reddit or children misunderstanding roleplay in youtube comments aren't. i follow around 700 accounts on here- say even half of those are life series fans, and a further half of that expressed discontent with wild life. that's around 200 people. if you look at the most popular posts in the tag and the amount of followers some tags have, there's about 10k people on tumblr who are fans of the series (likely more, but that's the best i can estimate). the subreddit has 30k+ members. grian's first episode this season got two million views. the criticism coming from some parts of the fandom here is definitely worthwhile and much of it is well founded but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be reflective of the vast majority of watchers- and again, many of these watchers don't actually care that much about story, roleplay, or game "fairness", and will just be watching casually as entertainment.

[koreandragon]

lmao pine that vincenzo netlix thing happens to me all the time.. i also get random notifs on my phone that tell me to "continue watching" bc i sometimes feel like rewatching some scenes. was funny yesterday when i was finishing reborn rich and got so tired of all the fuckery, i took a break and checked my phone and it was just netflix again telling me to watch vincenzo like YEAH.... i might as well now bc reborn rich totally lost me in the last episode

(will rant a little if it's ok!)

honestly though– what in the world was that ending? like who over at jtbc thought this was a good idea and let the writer have her way??? i'd love to know bc i think what the novel did (no HW in the new life, DJ gets revenge, becomes ceo, marries MY, end) was so much better. yeah it's simple but better than what we got. here the writer wanted to be creative? what was the point of ep 2-15 and all that we've seen DJ go through only to have an ending like that and then explain it with "repentance"? like what...... and it was lined with plotholes like a swiss cheese 😭

so while i enjoyed the drama, the end kinda ruined it for me personally. the novel was about rebirth/revenge and while we watched DJ trying to take over sunyang, all that was naught in the end since we end with HW again and nothing he "did" as DJ ever mattered. by changing the ending, the writer completely fucked the point of the story over. now it's about repentance? why not just make a movie with the plot of ep 1 and 16 and call it a day then? idk. the more i try to make sense of it all the more i don't understand. also such a waste of lee sung mins amazing performance :(

what's your general thought of the ending?

vincenzo will forever haunt me, i feel like i see his face wherever i go i wish i could erase it from my head so i can watch it again. my life drama. anyway.

well i didn't love the drama ngl to you there were fun bits where he fucked his family over but none of that was truly cathartic? and there were too much politics and corporate lingo like i barely followed along. i wrote this in a post too that it will never truly be revenge because the jin family won't know who he is and why he's doing it. revenge is all about looking into your enemy's eyes and letting them know it was you who fucked them over and why you did it. isn't it? so i was wondering how that was going to go, i guess they did that with hyunwoo at the end but it didn't actually matter because the guy who did kill dojun and tried to kill him got to die peacefully in his sleep none the wiser. he got to be the chairman of soonyang for 20 years without any accountability.

the doppelganger thing still bothers me like hyunwoo literally could've been played by any other actor because he was only in the first and last eps and some flashback scenes i don't understand why joongki had to play them both it's just too much suspension of belief for me. plus the thing that bothered me ESPECIALLY that i already talked about is that hyunwoo was supposed to know about dojun's accident. he was literally there and he still couldn't avoid it while he was dojun cause he conveniently forgot it ever happened or idk??? like that shit irks me. don't even get me started on the romance and minyoung's character because it was abismal. i trusted this writer because she wrote designated survivor and it's still one of my favorite dramas and it was very entertaining despite being so political. waited a year for this drama cause it's joongki's project after vincenzo but i guess you win some and you lose some. better luck next time.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 41: Shada Defenseless Against Old Man

Hey guys apparently Twitter got freakin destroyed? Everyone’s coming back to Tumblr, and just in time for me to actually update this blog in my long covid brain fog daze! (a daze which, PS, lead me to think I uploaded this yesterday. LMAO I did not upload this yesterday, you win again, Long Covid) I didn’t feel like breaking today’s episode into 2 parts today. But also, this episode is blessed for having a lot of a card fight in it, which makes these posts a fair bit quicker for me to make.

First off, Mana joins the battle basement, and she does so by just jumping down a hole in the ceiling, onto this pillar, and then onto the floor--actually baffling how she did this.

Girl, at this point just fly down.

Eventually, everyone else arrived in Battle Basement, but they did so through the door that Mana blissfully ignored.

(read more under the cut)

They took a moment to admire their dead friend floating above them, in purple cosplay spandex.

And then, seemingly miffed that Mahad was getting more attention than him, Seto decided to interrupt the welcome back party before it ever got started.

Which I dunno, Seto has seen a lot of dead people in his life, his whole village was leveled by like 3 guys with torches, so maybe he just doesn’t care to believe in reincarnated people as cards. Maybe that would bother him and he’d just rather not think about it?

For some reason, Aknadin also came on this adventure, which is something I didn’t really notice the past few episodes, and being real, it was probably very obvious but my tired ass brain couldn’t quite remember that Aknadin still exists and is a guy who is very much trying to murder the Pharaoh. So of course he’s here. And having a hard time because of the fact he’s killed everyone in Kul Elna and now they are ghosts who are not happy to see him back.

Shada, who seems to take care of Aknadin more than anyone else, was there to save him. Which leaves me to wonder if Shada was Aknadin’s caretaker. Like literally his caretaker, or assistant, or something like that. Because it sure as hell hasn’t been Seto who keeps directing this guy back to bed.

While he’s there, the ankh keyblade started to vibe.

And I was like “Oh, is Shada finally going to get it? Is he finally going to realize that Aknadin’s been possessed by evil vibes since last Tuesday or whenever he was attacked by Bakura?”

Obviously no, this is Shada we’re talking about. So instead, he beelines to some abandoned (ware)house to look for some demons.

And since I was expecting this to go to nowhere, I was surprised to see this down in the icky basement.

Like I’ll be real, did not expect Shada to pull through and be this effective at his job. Like damn. The one time we needed him to do his job he actually did it, and he found diabound. Actually a miracle.

Like either Bakura took all the skulls of his village and stuck them together, or a ghost did it. Doesn’t actually say who assembled the skull art. But I would like to believe that Bakura was the one who gave the Diabound that adorable little kitty cat frowny face.

And this next part was I think edited by 4kids or whoever is in charge of this season’s translation. Because what I saw was him go “ahhhhh” and then Shada fell forward, and Aknadin’s just holding a whole ass brick. There was no shot of him being beaned by the brick, but just trust me, he was beaned by a brick. Or Aknadin slapped him in the ass with a brick so hard Shada nearly died, it is off-screened so you can make up whatever you want.

There wasn’t really animation to this sequence so trust me on it, it was goofy, it was great, Love it when Shada got bopped by a brick and didn’t save the world.

A bunch of ghosts picked up Shada’s body, and then I guess he got shoved into the Diabound statue at this point. Honestly, I missed that somehow. Probably happened at some point in the fighting sections, I was confused, but I still have long covid so I’m always confused. Which honestly makes this show a lot more entertaining when wild stuff happens and I just don’t catch the very obvious forshadowing.

So now that’s happened, lets join in with Yugi and crew in the desert.

They would be dying but they can’t technically die in the sideways Shadow Realm or whatever this pocket dimension is. Instead they just get very, very hungry, although they cannot actually eat anything. Which does explain why Bakura is so freakin hungry for snacks and ate everything in Kaiba’s blimp when they weren’t looking at the end of S3.

Then Tristan decided “Hey guys if this is a hallucination, shouldn’t we stop taking it so seriously, and instead look for the Forbidden Memories™?”

And for some reason the person who drew Tristan this episode made him look straight up possessed. Like almost as if he’s a big 5 all over again. I have no idea why this happened, I have no idea why he even spoke so intensely this episode, but Tristan kind of went a little evil and no one cared.

And this part was mostly for myself trying to remember what the hell is going on. Like, I was forgetful before, but now I am like Pharaoh tier forgetful. Like I fully get why he forgot his own name. Guy died. Like I got the flu 5 months ago and look how forgetful I am. Pharaoh freaking DIED.

But also he did it on purpose to hide away Korbus or whatever his name is. Kronx? Krakus. Zork. It was Zork. No. It was Zorc. It was Zorc with a c to make it copyright friendly. We got there.

Still got it, yeah yeah yeah.

It is a funny thought that had Bakura not gone to jail, he would have murdered Pharaoh before Seto did it, or I dunno, maybe he would have moved on with his life. But, because he was so freaking pissed off in jail in 3000 BC, his spirit possessed a bunch of people before landing back here in a vengeance hallucination 5000 years later. 

Like we don’t know too much about the Bakura of the past, since he’s largely possessed by the ghost of the ring, but damn that kid must have had an ENERGY.

please admire how much Joey has to hunch over just to speak to Yugi in the same frame. Storyboarder’s still got it.

And I may have mentioned this before but yes, I know Pharaoh’s name, it pops up as a recommended hashtag whenever you use Pharaoh in a tag.

Bro did bring up that if we follow the Seto naming convention, however, Atem would be “Atemo.” Which is very good.

And then Past!Odion, who’s name is COMPLETELY forgotten by my brain, pulled out the millennium scales! We have barely seen these things used in this series, I was excited for something to happen!

And it was just monster fusion.

I guess he uh...doesn’t know it can weigh your literal soul and kill you in an instant, but it’s fine. We’ll leave that to Shada of the future when he becomes a burn out and calls himself Shadi.

Pharaoh sees his friends fall one by one (except for Shada who, as mentioned, got beaned in the basement by a brick and is currently trapped in the Diabound) and decides it’s time to do the Yami thing and beg for his attacker to kill him during a card game ghost fight.

So Bakura gladly opens the gate of hell so that Pharaoh can get destroyed by ghosts.

And we get this hard-to-cap segment where we see into Pharaoh’s mind, where he is protected by the spirit of his father.

Kids TV is great. Like if I weren’t so Long Covid I’d dive more into it, but like knowing that your ancestors may (or may not) have cried big ol tears because of atrocities of generations past doesn’t actually make your problems go away. Yet I can understand where they are coming from, where Yami can’t actually change the past, and he does have to do his job as Pharaoh, even though his Uncle ruined their royal reputation which lead to his Father’s death.

Like Pharaoh really is doubting his own ability to be a leader and to use these items, and it is partially his lack of experience, but also because he truly doesn’t think he deserves it. And he does not. He was not voted in. But, he does have to do it, because that’s how the system works in his day and age. And if he does not do it, Egypt falls to bandits and warring countries

Must be difficult to be a Pharaoh, who up until now, only knew Democracy in Japan, and then suddenly has to inherit a Monarchy he fundamentally should not really believe in, despite the jokes I sometimes make in the contrary.

So because the ghosts of Kul Elna were exorcised (except for Bakura) Shada shluuuurps out of this rock tablet and I had to pause the video and go.

“OK when did THAT happen????”

Because, again, I totally missed that he got shoved in there in the first place.

And mind you, I watch these first with my bro, then I watch it again to do these caps. This was the SECOND time I watched the episode and only just got that. LMAO I miss my brain.

And then the tablet explodes because without the ghosts, we can kill it.

And no, Shada did not die here, although I truly thought this was the episode he’d die in and become a ghost. or maybe he’s already a ghost. Either way, Shada lives to see another day, although gotta tell you this day was really freakin weird.

Anyway, next episode I guess we’ll see what Bakura does without his spooky tablet covered in skulls, since he only had one pokemon, as far as I know.

And, in the mean time, here is the link to read all of these in chrono order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[nextdoorharry]

imaaaaagine a world like that..can you? part 2

-

in which y/n sees a text, harry lies to her, and wants her back.

a/n: ahhhh!!! i feel like the first part of this story was a fan favorite out of all my other pieces! so thank you thank you thank you!!! hope you enjoy!

here’s the link to part 1 if you haven’t read it already!

-

you were always a light sleeper. you would wake up to a pillow falling on the floor, slight wind coming from outside, or even a phone that’s on silent vibrate. that’s the case when you woke up to a text vibration sound coming from a phone. tired eyes, you wake from your current position and see a love island episode playing. on auto-play of course because you already remember watching the previous episode a few days prior. you guess you and harry fell asleep during the new one you two were watching. with tired eyes, you squint to see harry sleeping peacefully. you miss this, you thought. sitting there in silence and taking in how harry used to sleep, slight snores, mouth a little open. except he’d be right next to you and not across.

your thoughts interrupted you hear the text buzz again. you grab what you assume to be your phone, since you and harry both have simple, plain black cases.

wrong.

it wasn’t your phone. it was harry’s.

you realized this when you read the text displayed on the lock screen, from olivia wilde.

I miss you, and our casual hookups. Can’t stop thinking about it. it read. you wanted to breakdown and cry right there.

you felt all kinds of emotions; confused, upset, angry, and jealous. why wouldn’t harry tell me this part? no i understand that, but why would he make it seem like he did not enjoy it at all? clearly he’s comfortable doing this stunt if he was hooking up with her. all these thoughts running through your head as you quietly get up, turn off the tv, and go upstairs to your bedroom. leaving harry to sleep on the couch.

you feel tears rolling down your face as you get into bed, quiet sobs erupting from your chest. you loved him. you still love him. you were glad when harry said that it’s all pr. you were glad when he made it seem like its all fake. but now, it was all a lie. sure it was a pr stunt, but harry and olivia seemed to take advantage of that and use that to get intimate. he clearly wasn’t as annoyed as he made to seem about the situation since he got to hookup with her. you may be jealous, but you don’t care that he didn’t mention something private like that to you, because he didn’t need to, it’s his business. but what stings is that he made it seem like it was clear he wasn’t actually into olivia.

-

you wake up to hear the coffee machine on, and the sound of something being cut against the cutting board. harry’s still here. you felt weird facing him now that you know he lied to you. even though you two aren’t in a relationship anymore, he has never lied to you. ever. nonetheless, you get up and proceed with your morning routine, then head downstairs.

“mornin,’ sleep well?” harry smiles as he sees you enter the kitchen. his eyebrows furrow a bit as you come closer to his vision. he couldn’t help but notice your eyes look a bit puffier than usual than how it normally looks when you’ve just woken up. he knows its either allergies or that you cried.

you reply with a slight “mhm” and reach for the cupboard to get glasses.

the thought of you crying makes him worried. it always did. you rarely cried during your relationship with him. only when it was a close individual’s funeral, or tears of laughter. or the day you two argued and he broke it off with you.

that’s why he hates seeing you in your state now. because if you were crying, all he could picture is the day you two broke up.

“y/n, y’good? your eyes look puffier than usual, love.” harry asks cautiously, trying to read your face, which refuses to make eye contact with him.

you were stood by the fridge, filling the glasses of water for the two of you when you replied, “m’good, just allergies. cat’s shedding season.” you say with a straight face, looking towards the glasses you’re filling. not wanting to look harry in the eyes. because all you can think about is how he was intimate with olivia, and how he lied. your stomach already turns at the thought.

“take the allergy meds that doctor prescribed you a while ago. remember it works wonders.” harry smiles, setting yours and his plate down on the table as you come and set the glasses down.

harry makes it so damn hard to hate him sometimes. the fact that he remembers the little things has you in awe. but no, not right now y/n.

“mhm, i’ll call in to get those refilled.” you lie through your teeth, acting as if the allergies were the reason for your current state, “thanks for breakfast by the way, y’didn’t have to. my fault for waking up later than usual.” you say sitting down.

harry sitting across from you, senses a different feel to how you were yesterday. you seem a bit off now, and you were never like this in the mornings. he supposes you did have a late night and filled with allergies bothering you, so you’re probably not in the best mood.

he shrugs it off, “no need, i overstayed my visit on accident, and its the least i can do after you helped me with my little uh, situation,” harry giggles, sticking a strawberry in his mouth.

you give him a glare as he looks down. his situation he says. you wanted to laugh in his face.

it’s a silent breakfast from there. harry in his own thoughts thinking about last night. oh, how much he missed you. how much he wanted to cuddle with you. be sleeping in bed with you. waking up to your face. soft kisses throughout. he misses it so much. he senses and hopes you miss him too. he had a good feeling last night. and that’s when he decides he needs to say something. if he doesn’t speak now, he never will. now’s the perfect time. after his tour and new album, he’ll be taking a break. a break from everything. a break to spend time with family, friends, live privately, and hopefully settle down with you. now’s the perfect time to reconcile with you and put the offer out on the table.

“..so,” harry begins. you look up and see harry putting his utensils down, wiping his mouth with a napkin, getting ready to speak. “after the tour ends, i’ll be releasing my album, do some promo for that, and then i’ll be on a hiatus..for however long i’d want it to be..”

you can’t just have all feelings for him disappear in less than 24 hours. so when he said that, you can’t lie to yourself and not feel some happiness. yet, he still better not say what you think he’s gonna say. you’re still mad at him y/n. don’t do this to yourself.

“so what are you saying..” you hum.

“god y/n, you know what i’m about to say.” harry purses his lips and looks you in the eye, hands reaching out for yours, “i’m ready to settle down with you, if you’d have me back that is.” he says with a little smile and gleaming eyes.

the days prior from yesterday of you finding out, you would’ve have said yes. you would have breathed out a finally, and had a sense of relief.

but now it’s going to be a different outcome. he took advantage of your kindness and you giving him advice. he took advantage of your time. maybe dramatic, but that’s how you see it.

you’re mad. that slight happiness you got when he said he was taking a break is gone.

“s’not even like we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend for another period of time! we can go straight to fiancés! we already have trust in each other, i mean we only broke up because of my work. nothing else was to be fixed in the relationship! i’ll put a ring on it right now if i have’ta!”

harry rambling, saying some bullshit about trust, causes you to interrupt him, “harry-“ he still rambles but now about having kids. “stop.” you say, voice grew a little louder and more stern.

harry pauses, wide-eyed. sure he didn’t know how you were even feeling about this, but he was sure the love you two have was still there.

“trust?” you laugh in disbelief. “first off, you’re acting like we took a break. a halt in our relationship until you were ready to settle down. you should know that’s not the case. i’ve been patient throughout our relationship far too long for me to be waiting around on your terms.”

“y/n i-“ he interrupts.

“no, i’m talking. this whole ‘trust’ thing is gone. i’m sorry but last night i woke up in the living room to a text notification. i assumed it was my phone, and since we have the same phone cases, i happened to pick yours up and saw a text from who’s supposed to be your ‘pr stunt’? she’s wanting to hook up with you? again? jesus harry, you should know why i’m mad and upset that you’re saying you want me now. even before you said all this, right after seeing that text, i was mad because you lied to me. look, you of course didn’t have to share that you were intimate with her; but don’t make it seem as if you’re not into her at all. and making it seem like it’s the poor girl’s fault. acting as if she’s a nuisance wanting to be intimate or affectionate, cause clearly you wanted her as well.” you end your speech with a sigh, shaking your head. you take a sip of water, mouth dry from the little speech you said. you wait for him to come up with whatever amusing thing he can say to make it not sound as bad as it is.

harry’s startled. doesn’t know what to say. he saw the text when he woke up, but he told her that it wasn’t for him anymore, that he just wanted you, and it was nice in the moment, but they are after all, strictly just business buddies with a platonic friendship. she understood, she seemed a bit mad, but harry didn’t care. he just wanted to make sure there’s nothing in his way to get you back, and that those hookups he had with her were in the past. he’s going to try to fix this.

you speak up again in a calmer tone, “you didn’t care about my feelings,”

his face turns red. nerves rattling him.

“y/n i feel awful about it, know what i mean i-“

you cut him off. “you made me look really dumb, harry.” you say while lightly nodding your head in order to get him to understand.

he begins to speak again. “look i’ll be honest. i should’ve mentioned it yesterday, and m’sorry for that. i will admit, there was a physical attraction with her at the beginning of everything, and since we were broken up-“

you correct him, “are, broken up.”

his heart hurts when you say that, he nods, “yes, are broken up, i didn’t want to live with any regrets. i felt it was better to just experiment and to take advantage of being in the stunt, seeing if there’s a spark,” he takes a breath. “i would’ve regretted if i didn’t and it was better to do it at the time because i didn’t know if you would even take me back once i came home,” he keeps fidgeting with his feet under the table, nervous on what your response will be; but hopefully understanding. because you always were.

wrong. boy was he wrong.

“so..you still did it with the intention of coming back home, hoping to get back with me?” you caught him. “harry..what are you even saying?”

he gulped. fuck. this looks bad. he didn’t think things through, he thought. “look, you didn’t feel anything rushing back last night? everything that we had, and built together?” face even more red.

“yeah and then today..you slapped me across the face with a lie and embarrassed me.” you spat. “what’s wrong with you? you don’t have any respect for me.” shaking your head in disappointment. “and its such a let down considering if you hadn’t hooked up with her, i would’ve hopped right into your arms right when you said you wanted to settle.”

he regrets everything and anything right when you said those words. why did he hook up with her? god did he really think y/n was going to just be waiting around? of course he thought so. he always did. and that’s why you two were broken up.

he sighed, shaking his head as well, as he’s disappointed in himself. he was about to speak, but you beat him to it. “i’m not mad that you hooked up with her, i’m mad that you don’t have any respect for me. i’m mad about your intentions behind it. and the fact that you lied to me making it seem like olivia is the bad guy saying, ‘s’like she enjoys it!’” you repeat his words he said to last night, when he made it seem like he wasn’t into her. “and just the fact that i gave you meaningful advice because i care about you, once again, you embarrassed me. i feel dumb, harry.”

he feels dumb too.

you still didn’t let him speak, instead, you let him leave.

“something needs to change, harry. until then, please leave.” you say, getting up from the table walking hurriedly upstairs, eyes beginning to water, but you feeling satisfied that you listened to your own advice you gave to harry: stand your ground.

-

a/n: man really thought y/n would be waiting around for her. smh.

hope you guys enjoyed this part!! still deciding on whether to make a part 3 or not! don’t really know which way i want to go about it.

[thisisarcanereverie]

Should’ve Known  Chapter 4.

Hey, so originally I was planning on skipping this episode in WandaVision and get straight into the 70′s, however, after re-watching the episode I thought to myself, maybe this episode would be useful in what I have planned for that chapter. Also again, thank you for all the love and support you show when I post. It really helps me write, especially when you leave a reply one what you liked or suspect from this chapter or other chapters. It really makes my day and it makes it easier to write knowing others are willing to read it. 

I’m trying my best to write as much as I can while i’m still motivated, updates really could be anywhere from a day or a few hours apart at this point. Honestly I only started writing fanfiction again to help me start writing in general since I’ve been writing a book for the past few months and I’ve hit a road block. Writing this helps and plus it’s fun for me to write fanfiction like this. 

Also I did write this based loosely on what I imagined the residents of Westview must have felt like living day upon day. Also a little on Doctor Who, specifically the “Silence in the Library” and “Forest of the Dead” When Donna was trapped and sort of lived like she was in a show. 

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Wanda or Steve they are owned by Marvel, I don’t own the gif either I just got it from Pinterest, also I’m really tired so any mistakes or stuff that doesn’t make sense that’s on me. 

WARNINGS:Angst, Swearing, the stages of grief, loss, dark themes, 18 + from here on out.

WORDS : 2,040

SUMMARY: Feelings of unease continue to rise as you begin to know Wanda and start to be wary of Agnes....and of Steve. 

You could have sworn you and Steve were just having dinner, the thought of food caused your stomach to turn. You wished for the life of you to know what was ailing you so you could take some medicine. You would have to make an appointment with the doctor but for now you had to continue the day. You gently rose from the bed so as to not disturb your sleeping husband. 

Husband.

Something about that felt wrong to you. 

You shook off the feeling before finally getting ready for the day. 

When the thought of what to wear came to mind you suddenly found yourself all ready dressed with your hair and makeup done. 

You wore a cardigan sweater over your short sleeved blouse and plain skirt. Your hair was neatly done, curling slightly around the edges with a flower barrette in your hair. You looked good, however, how good you looked was the last thing on your mind. You instantly became confused and your head began to ache. How did you get dressed so quickly? Where did the clothes come from? 

As soon as all those thoughts appeared, they vanished upon hearing your husband's voice calling your name. Suddenly you wondered what you were even thinking about. 

“Doll are you ready to rehearse?” Steve’s voice carried out, seemingly echoing off the walls. 

“What are we rehearsing for again honey?” you asked, your heels clicked against the wooden stairs as you made your way down. 

It was only when you saw Steve did you realize something was seriously off. 

It looked as though someone had renovated your house as you had slept, there was new furniture and wallpaper. The kitchen was now at the opposite side of the house. Even the stairs were new, from bannister to the steps themselves. You don’t know why you hadn’t noticed before.

“Doll don’t tell me you forgot,” he teased you, you rolled your eyes refusing to admit that you may or may not have forgotten something. 

“Of course I haven’t forgotten,” you lied, “I’m making sure you remember.” 

“So you remember then, is that correct.”

“Yes.”

“So tell me what we’re rehearsing for then.”

“No.” 

You could feel his eye roll as you made your way to the kitchen, you were suddenly starving. Steve had followed you to the kitchen where you quickly made yourself a sandwich. 

“It’s the Annual Talent Show Fundraiser for the local school,” Steve said “it’s your favorite event in the season.” His eyes searched you in concern. You don’t remember there ever being an Annual Talent Show Fundraiser in Westview. Thinking about it you don’t really remember anything abou-

-

-

-

“Of course it is honey,” you smiled at him, “I was just keeping you on your toes.” you brought your pointer finger to his nose and bopped him lightly, you and him smiling all the while you both leaned on opposite sides of the kitchen counters.

“Are we still going for that strength test this year?” 

You nodded excitedly, you were never one for muscles, however, when your husband lifts hundreds of pounds over his head (or yourself for that matter) it had you all giddy with excitement. 

“Anything for me to bring out the big guns huh.” Steve teased face leaning closer to yours, you leaned in closer noses touching. “Naturally.” you replied, finally closing the gap and kissing him. 

-

-

You suddenly find yourself with Dottie and the rest of her Ladies in Hating sitting by the pool. When you realized you were seated next to Agnes you stiffened. You barely heard a word Bev was saying, it took most of your control not to switch seats with someone, anyone, so long as it got you away from Agnes. You pretended to listen to Bev talk about her store when you noticed Agnes looking at you through the side of her eye. It nearly made you jump out of your skin. 

You quickly tore your gaze from Agnes and to the person on her right, Wanda. 

You were greeted with Wanda looking at Dotty instantly, seemingly trying to mimic Dotty in how she presented herself, which you thought silly. 

Wanda was far more charming than Dotty anyways. 

Why were you so sure about that?

You switched back and forth between watching Dotty and watching Wanda who seemed to have made a new friend with Geraldine next to her. 

There was something off about her as well. 

-

-

You find yourself helping Dotty and Wanda with cleaning up after the meeting. Wanda was picking up the trays of the barely eaten cookies and desserts that Dotty had ordered, while you were busy stacking plates and cups. The radio was playing something light, which was more than you could say for Dotty. She was just “supervising” to make sure things went accordingly. 

Both you and Wanda made faces behind her back and tried your best to keep your laughter among yourselves. Although you have only known Wanda for a few months (although it feels like you met her only yesterday but it also feels like you’ve known her for longer.) you immediately became fast friends. 

“Thank you Dotty for choosing (Y/n) and I to help you clean up today we feel so lucky.” Wanda thanked Dotty, a kind smile adorned on her face. 

“You are.” 

As you and Wanda turned your backs to Dotty you both stuck out your tongues at each other. Playfulness in each other's eyes. You both turned back to Dotty you had adjusted herself in her seat. 

“I can’t help but wonder if you and I haven’t gotten off on the wrong foot Dotty and I would like to correct that if I can.” Wanda said, her smile a little forced but still pretty. 

“And how would you do that.” Dotty stated, her eyes glaring holes into Wanda. It was almost like you weren’t there. Wanda fidgeted with her hands and brushed away a stray hair that had fallen out of place. 

Dotty stood up from her chair and made her way to where you and her stood. 

“I’ve heard things about you,” she stated her eyes then darted your way, “and about you too, don’t think I’ve forgotten that you’re here.” 

Dotty’s heels clicked as she advanced, almost like a tiger stalking their prey, and you had the feeling you and Wanda were two very unfortunate monkeys. 

“You and your husbands.” 

That word still felt wrong to you. 

You weren’t even focusing on Wanda or Dotty anymore as you began to notice how the radio had stopped it’s tune, the crackling of the device overcoming the music and then you hear it. 

“Wanda, (Y/n) do you read me over.” it was a male voice, crackling, breaking in and out. 

Why was he calling for you and Wanda?

“Who is that?” You heard Dotty’s voice shake, you tore your eyes away from the gray radio and to the light haired lady in front of you. Her eyes were wide with confusion, all tiger energy faded and what was left was a frightened woman. 

She was trembling. 

Her eyes went from the radio to look at you and Wanda, her eyes widened. 

“Who are you?” her voice shakes. 

The man speaks again and you immediately tear your focus away from Dotty and to the radio again. 

“Wanda....(Y/n).....Who’s doing this to you Wanda....(Y/n).....Wanda....(Y/n).....Wanda” then as if a spell had been broken the radio blew up, shocking Wanda and Dotty, Dotty shattering the glass in her hand. 

Red

You had forgotten what other colors had looked like so seeing red was a change that left you speechless. After stuttering for a few seconds Wanda went to grab Dotty a washcloth. 

You kinda block the rest of it out, instead you stare off into the distance. 

Where Agnes stood watching. 

-

-

You paced backstage with Wanda, frantically waiting for your husbands to arrive. You and Steve were to go after Wanda and Vision. You tried your best to calm your erratic heart. Wanda looked breathtaking in her magician's assistant outfit and your eyes kept wandering back to her...Now wasn’t the time to question any of the thoughts running through your mind. 

Steve and Vision were late, Steve was a part of the neighborhood watch and went to the meeting today, apparently Wanda’s husband had done the same. Geraldine was backstage with you trying her best to keep the both of you calm, which even on a good day was nearly impossible. 

Finally you spotted your husbands together, one of Visions arms around Steve’s shoulders seemingly leaning on him for support while your husband seemed to be helping him walk. 

“Steve honey what happened,” you ask immediately, upon dashing to your husband Wanda instantly went to check on Vision. 

“I don’t know doll but I don’t think Vision is able to perform.” He answered, gesturing to the flampent behavior of the otherwise reserved man. Wanda looked at Steve and it broke your heart to see her eyes well up with a disappointed expression. 

You had a feeling you were going to regret what you were about to do. 

You immediately turned to Wanda, grabbing her hands out of what felt like instinct and grabbed her attention. 

“Wanda how do you feel about doing the Talent Show with me?” You asked, hopeful. You could tell she wanted to, her eyes lighting up at the mention of doing the Talent Show afterall, but immediately looked at Vision with concern. 

“Who would take care of Vision?” 

‘I would,” Steve answered, Wanda looked at him with apprehension, 

“Are you sure?” 

“Absolutely you girls kick ass out there.” 

You and her immediately looked at each other in excitement. You two immediately went to figure out whose routine you were going to perform, quickly settling on Wanda and Vision magic act. 

Instead of the magicians assistant she would take place as the magician while you took her place. Next was to figure out your stage name, once again Wanda quickly settling on her keeping Glamour and you sticking with Mirage. Finally she ran the whole act with you and by the time you were done planning the previous act was up and now it was your turn. 

“And now for our final act I give you, Wanda and (Y/n)” After Dotty’s introduction your performance ran overall smoothly, Wanda being shockingly good at close up magic and illusions. 

That was until suddenly Senior Scratchy decided to turn the magic act into an escape act. A powerful gust had knocked Wanda’s magicians hat off her head and you felt the terrible pit in your gut worsen. Looking to the crowd you thought you had seen something colorful, like the red you saw before. 

Before what?

Wait....how could you forget that?

Your eyes immediately darted to Dotty and saw her seemingly unfazed of what happened prior to the Talent Show. How could she be fine? She didn’t know who you were, how could she not have known who you were?

You turn to Agnes, her eyes narrowing on your figure. 

-

-

You and Wanda won the best magic show award at the Talent Show, you insisted Wanda keep it since it was her act, you had merely assisted her. You and Wanda immediately made plans for you to host that dinner you were talking about months ago, tomorrow. 

Steve congratulated you on a show well done and that if you ever felt the need to get magical in the bedroom he wouldn’t mind being your assistant there either. 

Upon returning home Steve immediately booked it for the shower, claiming that taking care of Vision was no easy feat. You laughed him off and went upstairs to your shared bedroom to get ready for the night. There was no need to cook dinner since you and him ate out. 

You were so tired that you almost didn’t notice the world around you changing colors. 

Or a familiar leather bound notebook on the bed. 

Almost.

After getting used to the newly found colors around you, you immediately opened the notebook noticing how old it was, and in semi faded ink on the first page read. 

“Property of Captain Steven G. Rodgers (Captain America).”

[roxy206]

Nobody’s Snowballing in This Economy — 07/12/2022

Is that even pointed on me?

She’s got a cough. I’m fatigued. I don’t know what’s going on 😬

Tom nearly died; Eden got sick; I’m sick, now you’re sick

Listen their travel schedule has baffled me from the beginning

Katya’s exasperation with what Trixie watches. You know she’s given so many recommendations … & just wants her to finally watch Dune

I LOVE when they laugh this much already during a pod episode

Katya just continuously pawing at Trixie’s wrist

No you can & should say people are fatphobic

I would fuck Kevin James — Trixie & I really do have the same taste in men I don’t know why it still surprises me

And I still can’t get fucked

We have great wonderful boundaries & we have a great relationship — 🥺 I love how much Katya loves Eden. And how much Katya realizes boundaries are important

Honestly I was surprised Katya had this turn around from being like I do not send nudes to so I took some dick pics, but the rest of this convo where we’ve circled back to ehhhh makes more sense

All the elbow gripping …

Excuse me. Excuse me. The way Katya put her thumb on Trixie’s hand while Trixie was holding her hand

I went on a date 👀

This conversation … Trixie just say the two of you are compatible

The leg grip has entered the chat

The post meet & greet thirst

My tone is hardened by years of rejection & ghosting

I just want to know who the fuck is passing up on sleeping with Katya. Please explain your rationale

Don’t sign a check that your ass cannot cash Your ass literally

The tell them what happened yesterday

You know what though they aren’t stupid

I just wish they had had this convo at the top of the podcast because this is depressing

And the cameras died?

I’m so tired I know

Let’s put a name to the elephant in the room which is workaholism

What am I doing? What are you doing?

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 19 - Simplificator (Simpleman)

Geez, unfortunately I lost the first half of this post accidentally which hurts also because I feel a bit sick since yesterday (nothing serious, just a cold). Luckily, it wasn't lots of text, as there's not much to say about this episode. Now I need to write it again. It's rather going to be shorter than version I lost, as I feel tired.

So it was the first typical filler episode that could happen in any other seasons. I have nothing against fillers, as long as they are decent enough. This one wasn't bad, though it would not be among my favourite ones. Still I think it was better than many this season's episodes. And to be fair, I would prefer more fillers like that than the whole mess that's happening in season 4.

It was also more comedic episode, and I'm not a fan of them, I have never liked humor in this show much. There are kids shows or movies that could be really funny for me, like Phineas and Ferb. The only more comedic episode of Miraculous I really liked was Reverser and even that had one super idiotic thing I hated (that one about sending trash to the moon). Humor in this episode is more appealing to kids, in my opinion.

So it's continuation of Marinette being dumb if she can't even hide the Miracle Box well, knowing Manon will be there. I don't get why she could not take the kids with her. But I'm surprised that her grandpa wasn't angry that he was forced to babysit four children. I thought it would be reason why he got akumatised. The real one was rather weak, but it wasn't untypical for this show. Still Animan had the dumbest motivation to get akumatised.

I don't like Simplificator (the original name is much better) design but his power was even cool. There were much more uninspired akumas this season like Rocketear.

The battle wasn't interesting much, as the whole situation wasn't funny to me. Also it seemed to be far-fetched that the kids weren't affected by the Simpleman's power at all. I know they wanted an episode in which the children are saving the world, which is not a bad idea, but there should have been explained in believable way. I assume it's a statement like "children are not making things complicated", but I don't think it's true in real. Kids are different, some see things as simple, some not.

I wonder what was the big deal with the whole "I can't have a boyfriend as long as I'm Ladybug" drama from early season 4 if that hasn't changed Marinette attitude towards Adrien at all? Was it just a drama for the sake of drama, right? She's still dreaming about being with him, she still wants to confess to him. It's like Truth and Gang of Secrets didn't happen (I would be happy if the latter didn't in real ;)). But I'm really not surprised, Marinette is written extremely inconsistent this season, like many other aspects and characters. That was logical that if after Truth she is convinced that she can't have a boyfriend, she will try to be just friends with Adrien and that would let her to talk to him normally more often, as it's been shown even in season 1 that she can do it as long she's in "being Adrien's friend" mode. I have written a post about it in which I was almost sure that development in Adrienette will happen this way, but that was back then in those beautiful days, when I was still unaware that season 4 is going to be as much inconsistent and illogical mess as it is. There's not only zero development, I have a feeling Marinette is dealing with it even worse than before, seeing how she's running away from Adrien in Wishmaker, though she wasn't even thinking about making any romantic gesture towards him at that moment.

If I wasn't as much disappointed by season 4 as the whole and Ladynoir drama didn't kill the ship to me, I would be very angry about Adrienette current situation. Not only lack of development, but also lack of relevant and really exciting moments between them. And I'm even somewhat glad that nothing happens between them, since Marinette's love towards Adrien can't be realistic to me anymore because of her terrible attitude towards Chat Noir since Optigami. She clearly shows that she doesn't need Chat Noir when she has Rena and she forgets that he exists when she should not if she really cares about him.

And seeing that I don't believe that Ladynoir mess is going to make their relationship better. People seem to be sure that will happen, because it appears to be logical, but personally after Hack-san, I have no faith in writers. Adrienette development seemed to be totally logical as well, and what? Nothing happens. I don't believe that Ladynoir drama is there for any other reason than just for the sake of drama, like that one with Marinette crying because she can't have a boyfriend. At best they will bring back the old status quo, but not exactly because there's still Rena. Marinette definitely isn't going to take away the fox Miraculous from Alya all by herself, no matter what will happen, because it would hurt her. I don't see Alya stopped being a permanent Miraculous holder unless things like Lila stealing the fox or Su-Han telling Marinette to do that would happen. But even if, Alya will remain having all the Miraculous lore knowledge that Marinettte has, access to the Miracle Box and knowing Ladybug's identity, she will still have a huge advantage over Chat Noir.

Some time ago I've seen someone claiming that it looks like there would be no development in the Love Square before the identity reveal, only then every problems will be magically fixed. I wasn't thinking like that back then, but now I feel the creators have no intention to develop their relationship significantly in any of the sides before the reveal. I no longer expect any nice things I'd love to see in this show, I prefer to have zero hopes.

[mamourland]

Poker Face - A Magnum/Higgins fic

Yesterday I saw the episode 2x14 on French TV, where they are all playing poker. I cursed Shammy for being between Magnum and Higgins and then I fixed it up in a fic.

It started as a drabble to post on Tumblr but now it’s like 1600 words...

Rating: Mature

Poker night had always been Magnum’s favorite social activity since he arrived on this island. It was a way to put everyone’s differences away and have a good laugh. Sometimes when you were lucky, you could even go home with a little pocket change.

 For a few months now, they had established a weekly game in the wine cellar and at first it was only the Ohana: Rick, TC, Higgins and Kumu, but then invitations were thrown around and soon the poker table was crowded.

 Tonight though, Thomas didn’t mind that he had to squeeze against the person on his left because his neighbor was none other than his partner, Juliet Higgins.

 He loved playing poker with Higgins because for an old spy, she had the worst poker face he had ever seen. She overthought things – much like in real life – and always assumed he was bluffing. Magnum smiled as he remembered the amount of money he squeezed out of her when they once played alone together. Too bad it hadn’t been strip poker because he would have gotten an eyeful that night.

 ‘Speaking of an eyeful…’, he thought with a smirk as his eyes discreetly roamed her upper body.

 She was wearing a soft blue t-shirt and what was probably the shortest shorts she owned, so short it was like she wasn’t wearing anything besides her panties. He almost had a heart attack when he saw her arrive dressed like this and barefoot to the poker game. This outfit made her look so soft, like a college student, and made her almost approachable.

 He caught sight of her expression as she watched her cards – she was frowning and biting her lower lip – and deduced she was having a lousy hand so he decided he would raise his bet on his next turn.

 He put his cards face down on the table and stretched his back, raising his arms above his head, leaning backwards on his chair. When he did, he almost choked on his own saliva.

 Higgins was actually cross-legged on her chair, her long, smooth legs on full display for his hungry eyes. If Magnum was a poet, he would write sonnets about those legs, those tanned, muscular, gorgeous legs of hers he longed to have wrapped around him.

 He blinked, slightly disturbed by those contemplations about his partner. She was a beautiful woman, no one ever claimed the opposite, but their relationship had always been platonic. For all the times they had seen each other half-naked – and they were quite numerous – Thomas never had an inappropriate thought about the young woman whose delicious perfume was reaching his nose.

 He didn’t know which switch had been activated in his brain to finally make him see Higgins – Juliet – like a desirable woman he could lust after, but he inwardly cursed it.

 Their working relationship would certainly suffer from this epiphany of his and if she had an idea what was going through his head right now, she would deck him on the spot. The thought of it made his palms sweat slightly and when he rubbed them on the fabric of his shorts, his left forearm made contact with her thigh.

 The touch raised goosebumps all over his arm and his heart raced. He wouldn’t survive this night at this rate.

 His eyes scanned around him and everyone seemed oblivious to his inner struggle, even Higgins.

 Magnum would blame what happened next on his lust induced brain but, as if it had a mind on its own, his hand slowly reached out under the table until the tip of his fingers grazed the soft skin of her knee. She tensed slightly under his touch but didn’t remove his hand which didn’t mean she was okay with him groping her under the poker table but at least his limb was still attached to his body. He took it as a good sign.

 He tried to catch a glimpse of her face without turning his head and saw her swallow her saliva.

 He felt emboldened by the forbiddance of the situation and ran the tip of his index finger slowly up her outer thigh. She covered her sharp intake of breath by a small cough.

 Oh yeah, she was on board with this.

 He was startled from his musings by TC who reminded him it was his turn. He threw a couple of chips in the middle, not even caring what he was betting. Another game was actually keeping his attention right now.

 Higgins announced she was folding as she put her cards on the table, face down. She took the opportunity to lean her forearms on the table so her lap was even more hidden from view.

 Magnum’s heart skipped a beat. She was doing her best to keep his actions from the others which meant only one thing: she wanted him to continue. And who was he to deny her?

 His other fingers joined the one currently drawing small circles on her soft skin and he directed them to her inner thigh. He heard her take a deep breath and suddenly, his shorts felt a lot tighter.

 Sensing his level of arousal climb dangerously, Thomas wondered if keeping up with fondling his partner in front of every one of his friends was really the right thing to do. Juliet made the decision for him as she leaned forward as an excuse to speak with Rick at the end of the table and slid her hips forwards. The move brought his hand a mere inch from her center and Magnum could already feel the heat that came from her.

 Thankfully, Shammy won the hand and there were a lot of movement around the table, from Katsumoto reaching for the cards to shuffle them, Rick helping the winner stack up his chips to everyone around taking a drink.

 Magnum took the opportunity to make the boldest move yet as he slipped his index and middle fingers underneath her shorts to come in direct contact with her panties covered folds.

 She choked on her beer and suddenly seven pairs of eyes were fixated on her.

 “You ok, Higgy?”, TC asked.

 “Fine.”, she answered mid-cough.

 “You sure? You look a little flushed.”, Kumu added and Thomas bit the inside of his cheek to keep from gloating that she was in this state because of him.

 He looked at her and had to admit she looked lovely with this slight shade a pink on her cheeks. She turned towards him and threw him the dirtiest look she could muster in her state.

 “I’m okay, Kumu. Just a bit hot, I need to cut the alcohol for tonight.”, she reassured the older woman.

 He waited until she finished talking before he brushed lightly the pad of his fingers up and down her folds. Her thighs contracted, probably in restraint, as he kept teasing her.

 “Okay, last hand for tonight.”, she announced loudly. “Some of us has to work in the morning.”

Magnum didn’t hold back his chuckle. Oh, she was desperate to get rid of everyone, wasn’t she?

 “Of course, you don’t fall into that category, Magnum.”, she added to rib him.

 Everyone around the table laughed and he pressed his fingers more firmly against her to get back at her. She shifted her hips closer to his hand and he swore he could feel wetness through the fabric of her panties and now he was desperate to get rid of his friends.

 He barely looked at his cards before he bet the minimum required to the pot. Higgins folded and when he looked at her he saw her close briefly her eyes.

 God, he wanted her. Like right this instant.

 He folded on the next round and Katsumoto won the hand. When TC got up, followed by Kamekona, Higgins ripped his hand from her center and flew from her seat making him lose the connection to her body. They took care of the winnings but Thomas stayed seated, completely dazed. Not that he could actually get up in the state he was in without revealing to everyone what exactly had been happening during the game.

 Each of his friends bid their goodnight on their way out and Katsumoto smirked at him. Apparently not everyone had been fooled.

 Magnum’s gaze followed Higgins everywhere she went in the wine cellar and now that he had the full visual of her legs, his lustful thoughts were back.

 “Magnum, can you get up to help me clean up this mess?”, Higgins scolded him but when their eyes met he knew she was messing with him and his state.

 But they weren’t alone yet.

 “You’re awfully quiet, Thomas. Are you okay?”, Kumu asked, worried.

 He smiled at the older woman and her motherly concern.

 “I’m fine, Kumu. Just a bit tired.”

 “Well I’m off to bed and you should too, young man.”, she added as she started to climb the stairs. “Goodnight you two.”

 He caught Higgins’ eyes before he said.

 “Oh, I’m going to bed alright.”

 Her gaze grew heated and the smile she threw at him did nothing to assuage his arousal. He got up and was in front of her in two strides before he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply.

 “Was it the shorts?”, she growled against his lips.

 He gripped her ass in her tiny grey shorts and grumbled his agreement before slipping his tongue back in her mouth.

 “Good, cause I wore them just for you.”, she breathed against his cheek when they broke apart.

 Suddenly, everything was clear in Magnum’s mind, there was no switch, just a very determined Higgins to lure him in her bed.

 “Best decision ever. Now, how about we go to bed?”

[candicewright]

So I'm finally getting over my denial and rewriting this post after Tumblr so rudely lost it yesterday. Except, this time I'm writing it on Google Docs first so that I don't lose it. 

Jokes on you, Tumblr.

The two asks that I got for the character ask game requested our Once and Future King Arthur Pendragon.

@epic-sorcerer

Well, get ready for an essay, because I have opinions.

1. Do you love/hate this character?

My relationship with Arthur, as with many other characters of the show, is very love/hate. The problem with him, however, is that it's not his personality that makes me hate him, but the writing of the show. 

And it pisses me off.

Despite being arrogant and emotionally constipated half of the time, he's a very good-natured and kind person. Pure of heart, as Anhora would say. Sometimes, he cares so much about others that he just trusts them, no questions asked. He's a noble man, and not only in the sense that he's royalty but in the fact that he strives to do what's right. He believes in equality in spite of rank and gives people chances based on their skills and aptitudes and not their position. He's kind and he always tries to learn from his mistakes, trying to be a better man. He even helps his friends advance in any way he can, making them knight or, in Gwen's case, the queen.

And yet, when it comes to Merlin, he seems to forget this.

It's like the writers wanted him to be purposefully mean to his best friend, which makes no sense.

He ignores him when he comes to him with a warning or advice.

He ignores when he's upset, like he doesn't notice.

But he does.

We know he does.

He doesn't give him credit for anything. And I'm not talking about the magic stuff, he doesn't know about that. I'm talking about him just being a good friend, someone he can talk to, literally the oNLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT HIM AS ARTHUR AND NOT AS A KING. And don't come @ me for this because literally everyone else gains something from their relationship with Arthur EXCEPT for Merlin. Like??? he doesn't even get a promotion or raise??? that we know of??? in like 10 years??? He doesn't have a seat at the Round Table, for heaven's sake! Why?!? He was there when they first created it, and Arthur acknowledged him then. Did he forget or something? (Can you tell I'm bitter about it?)

And I have many theories that explain why he doesn't give Merlin the credit he deserves, but it just feels like I'm justifying the blatantly bad writing, and I don't want to that. I may do a separate post about it later.

I love Arthur. He's a softie, a dumbass, a ball of sunshine. 

And his relationship with Merlin is my favorite thing ever (if you couldn't tell). It's such a meaningful bond, whether you ship them or not. I mean, everyone can see how much they care for each other.

But it becomes very toxic at times and it SUCKS because I just want them to be cute and domestic together. I want them to buy that farm and live happily ever after. At the very least, I want to get used to hearing him call Merlin a friend and not be SHOCKED every time he says it. Because every time it happened (3x12, 4x05, etc) I was SUPRISED and I SHOULDN'T BE.

Okay, I'm going to cut him some slack here because I genuinely do love him and this looks like I hate him and I don't, I really don't. He has very wonderful moments. Look at him, he's so soft.

As Mithian says, he's a lovable person, isn't he? Underneath it all.

So, a big FUCK YOU to the Merlin writers for doing him dirty. 

2. What’s your favorite trait of this character?

His kindness towards others and how much he truly cares about everyone despite having been hurt so many times. I mean, for all the difficulties he has when talking about or dealing with his emotions, he's extremely emotionally driven and I can relate to that a lot.

3. What’s your favorite moment/event involving this character?

You're all going to have me for this, but it's the finale. The amount of emotion he displays without having to talk much is outstanding.

Look at him.

LOOK AT HIM.

You know what's going through his head each and every second and it's so beautiful but so painful. It's one of the reasons why the ending hits so hard.

4. If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be?

The sword fighting abilities, of course. I want to do the thing.

You know, The Sword Spin Thing™

5. When did you fall in love/hate with this character?

I fell in love from his first banter with Merlin in episode 1. I immediately adopted him as my dumbass.

I started hating him on episode 2 when he screams at Merlin for the whole snake incident.

It's been love/hate ever since. More love than hate though.

6. Who’s your OTP for this character?

…

….

…..

Do I even have to say it?

Other than that, probably Gwen? I don't like how rushed that storyline is or what they did to Gwen's character in the fifth season (that's an entirely different post though) but I do think they were cute together. They don't have nearly as much chemistry as Merlin and Arthur do, but they can still make me smile like an idiot at times.

Merthur is and forever will be my OTP though.

And that concludes this thing! Hopefully Tumblr decides to actually post it this time. Please, give me some love for my efforts; I'm sick, frustrated and tired. If you made it to the end, thank you💜

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

...I’m actually still quite tired from yesterday and ready to conk out, so here’s my lukewarm takes all in one post. Might separate them later, might not.

Biggest takeaways: The Blight family connections? The Lumity? The Power Motivation of Friendship? Wondering which biles and glyphs combine to create which magics? EXCELLENT stuff!

(NOT spoiler free!)

"Blight INDUSTRIES"? The building has a smokestack and everything.

So: 1.) Amity's parents are industrialists. 2.) The Boiling Isles has had an industrial movement, apparently?

Also, "A SUBSIDIARY OF THE ABOMINATION COVEN". 3.) They've got friends in high places.

--

Ooh, even Mom calls her Mittens. >.o

--

One of Amity’s parents has brown hair and one has green. So.... assuming Demon Realm genetics don’t work like human genetics, her hair coloration could be Entirely Natural.

--

I love how Eda's rebellious spirit happens even when the authority is Luz.

--

"No one ever said POWER came with RESPONSIBILITY."

I snorted. Laugh rule acknowledgement.

--

Oh, how did I miss THAT'S how you pronounce "Noceda"?

--

Alador poking at President' Bump's tail. Same.

--

"Or die trying!" "No one's dying." "Not with THAT attitude."

I missed Gus so much.

--

Ooooh.... so it looks like Oracle skills come with... telepathy? If someone's wearing a certain crystal, it looks like?

--

So that bit about bile sacs having different spell biles sloshing together. Is there any magic that doesn't have a certain kind of bile/fluid? Is that how the Emperor sorted covens?

Is that the Boiling Isles version of biological essentialism?

Update to this thought: With apparently only having 4 glyphs, I'm eager to see which combinations create which kinds of magic!

--

"Operation change Bump's mind."

Oh the irony. His mind is already changed.

--

"Stay away from my Luz!"

Okay. That entrance was epic. That statement, grand. But a cloak makes EVERYTHING better.

--

Oh, this is a POWER OF FRIENDSHIP episode! NICE.

--

"The glyph combo, copyright me..."

Snort. Leave it to Lilith to copyright that.

--

OH NO.

I got the first three notes, but the places I've been watching the episode don't play one of my favorite parts of this show: the end credits theme.

And I caught a glimpse of its first shot, and it looks like it's different?

UPDATE: I found a clip on Youtube! And I have some Speculations.

Amity looking at Luz but Luz not looking at her?

Emperor Belos with Gorgon hair? May just be the art style but that was my first impression.

King with the giant thing behind him? The giant bone-dragon looking thing WITH A CROWN? Will we be getting King backstory this season?

[majestical]

can you go into any detail about why never have i ever isn't good? i really wanted to watch it, but if it's trash i don't wanna bother. thank you!!

alright I sat on this for a few hours so I could finish the rest of the show and write this in the morning and now it is morning. also there are going to be quite a few spoilers in here so just...do what you will with that knowledge i guess. also, if you still want to watch the show, I’m not gonna stop you. I binged the entire season yesterday and I have final exams next week. warning: this is super long.

ngl I was planning on just deleting the post you’re referring to, because at that point I had only watched half the season but I already saw a lot of things I didn't like: an Indian character who seemed a little ashamed of her heritage, too many pr*yanka ch*pra references, some strange and unnecessary ableism (i mean, all ableism is unnecessary but this particularly so), bad stereotypical Indian accents, the main character thirsting over white/white passing boys (this is Mindy's show, can you expect anything different?), and a disgusting amount of fatphobia (there is one fat character who is Devi’s age and his only personality traits are eating and making a fool of himself). 

the show also conflates indian and hindu a few too many times, even though there is a self-aware quip about it. and there’s a joke thrown in about m*di that *i guess* is supposed to show that this family at the least knows who the prime minister of india is? but with india’s current political situation and the knowledge of the atrocities committed by m*di I really did not like that a reference to him was thrown in there. I suppose it is an example of how the desi diaspora (particularly upper-caste, upper middle class Indians) are quite disconnected from the homeland, but like...does Mindy not watch the news? m*di literally committed genocide.

there’s also a lot of antisemitism. Devi’s academic rival, Ben, is introduced like a walking Jewish stereotype: just check out this post because op says it better than I could. there’s also a joke where Devi says out loud that she wishes Ben was killed by N*zis. I honestly don’t even know how that made it into the show and none of the context surrounding the joke is funny.

okay on to my personal qualms with the show. I wasn’t a fan of either of the love interests. neither of them really respected Devi as much as I would have liked, and personally, I found it tiring to see women/girls of color chase after men/boys who can’t reciprocate in the same way. I didn’t love how paxton (the cool jock love interest) kept leading Devi on and would then act aloof and I honestly would have preferred if Devi and ben hadn’t kissed, because I just prefer their frenemy dynamic over some potential romantic one. i also just could not relate to Devi at all...I was just too repressed in high school to relate to anything Devi does. she’s also just super unlikeable in the first eight episodes, but she kind of grew on me in the last two. I saw a comparison made between Devi coping with her grief with hypersexuality and the coping mechanisms used by the main character on Fleabag, which kind of made sense to me, even though they are pretty different shows otherwise. and she does get some comeuppance for her actions towards the end. even then, devi never really confronts her trauma directly, especially her paralysis, and her actions are excused too many times for comfort.

a lot of the storyline depended on teen romcom cliches, and were sort of excused because the main characters are poc. i wish this trend didn’t happen so often, especially when it comes to mainstream stories of young women and girls of color. i was also surprised that this show doesn’t really give much screentime to other indian kids that Devi might interact with. that would have been a much more three-dimensional approach to a show like this, but i also think this had to be sacrificed to keep up with the teen romcom aspect of the show. i was also not a fan of the will-schuester-wannabe history teacher. 

BUT (if you have been reading this much I sincerely applaud you) there were a few things I did like about the show. I loved Devi’s friends and honestly if I had her friends in tenth grade I would never ditch them for some boy. when I was a high school sophomore, I was closeted, had a musical theatre obsession, and ate dosas for dinner so I felt like a mix of all three of the girls. in fact, I found eleanor’s and fabiola’s storyline to be a lot more compelling that Devi’s at times. i even really enjoyed ben’s arc (and loved the andy samberg narration in his episode, especially because he pronounced Devi’s name with the soft “dh” sound...absolutely wonderful!). i thought fabiola’s coming-out scene was sweet (even though it was very textbook) and i thought eleanor being dramatic was very funny. 

in my opinion, the last two episodes were the best. we really got to dig deeper into Devi’s relationship with her mother and it was eerily reminiscent of my own. she gets told that she has to move to india because family is there, so she naturally fights with her mom and storms off. that literally happened to me (minus the running away part...I actually did end up moving to India in the middle of high school), and other moments like those just hit close to home and made me want to finish the show. i personally didn’t relate to the whole “am I indian or not Indian enough” struggle until I started living in india, but my indian friends who did go to high school in america were all too sympathetic to this struggle. 

so overall, there are some bad things and some good things about this show. if you relate to the premise of the show at all, you may like it more than I did, but if you were raised in india (which is the demographic that most of the criticism is coming from) or generally enjoy good writing, you probably won’t like this as much. i do hope that this show helps pave the way for some representation that brings more nuance to indian-american identity, and different types of indian-american identities (working-class, immigrants who aren’t upper-caste, people who have been living in the states for several generations, LGBT people, indian muslims/christians/sikhs/etc) without unnecessarily bringing down other minorities. and once again, i am really happy that a girl named maitreyi ramakrishnan is getting famous and NOT anglicizing her name. 

i hope this response was good and if you do decide to watch, let me know how you like it!

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

[in-tua-deep]

Love this new AU! Can you talk a bit more about a circumstance where Five is protective of the Boy and maybe another of the Boy being protective of Five?

The Boy didn’t used to have nightmares. Or well, maybe he did. Absent things, that upon waking he felt like he’d been hit with a bucket of ice water (and he should know, that happened when he slept in more than once) but he never really remembered his nightmares.

(He used to have night terrors, when he was small. He’d wake up screaming. He was always punished for it. Between the ages of three and six he slept with his fist crammed in his mouth to muffle his screams until his brain finally figured out that screaming would do him no good.)

After leaving the commission, he has proper nightmares. Sometimes they’re strange, just him wandering around halls that he knows are the Commissions but are out of place and wrong - a maze that he can’t escape from. He has to hide from the Handler in them, but she always seems to find him.

Other times it’s about his new family in his new house. Sometimes it’s them rejecting him, wondering out loud why they ever took in such a burden. That they didn’t want him and that he would do them all a favor if he just went away. Sometimes he dreams of the Handler standing over their dead bodies and smiling at him and telling him oh, he didn’t think he was allowed to keep them, did he? 

He doesn’t like his new nightmares.

But he’s not alone.

He sleeps in Five’s room. There was some noise made about getting him his own room and bed and everything, but it’s been a while now and everyone seems to have forgotten about it. Five’s room only has a twin bed, but that’s okay.

Five tells the Boy that he can have it. Five sleeps better on the floor, or sometimes crammed inside the tiny closet. He says that the bed is too soft, and the Boy wonders if the commission ever let him have an actual bed. The Boy got a bed, sort of. More reminiscent of a prison cot than anything else, but it was something. 

Sometimes when the Boy wakes up at night, he can hear Five whimpering in his sleep, or mumbling, or tossing and turning. Sometimes Five is already awake when the Boy sits up, scribbling away in a notebook by the light of the moon. Sometimes, on the really bad nights, Five is tucked in a corner, biting on his fist as tears stream down his face.

He asks, once, what Five dreams about.

Five gives him a long and measuring look, but the Boy has no reason to doubt his truthfulness when he finally says - “I dream of the apocalypse, always.”

“Always?” The Boy asks, eyes wide. He has a few recurring nightmares, but to have the same one over and over again seems odd.

“The characters change.” Five whispers, looking into the middle distance. “Sometimes there are ghosts, family and victims and bodies. Sometimes the Handler is there. Sometimes it’s Dad. Sometimes… sometimes it’s just me, alone again.”

The Boy considers that, and then asks the questions he wants to know the answer to. “Did you have those dreams before? When you were in the apocalypse?”

Five blinks. “Not the same ones, no. But sometimes I dreamed about ghosts. Why?”

“I didn’t dream before I left the Commission.” The Boy admits softly, staring down at his hands twisting in the blanket on his lap. “I dream - I dream a lot now. I don’t like it.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Five says slowly, mulling the words over. He looks thoughtful. “You didn’t have anything to compare your life to back then. How can you have a nightmare when there are no dreams? How can you tell the good from the bad when you’ve only experienced one?”

“I guess.” The Boy says, wrinkling his nose, “But I still don’t like it.”

Five is silent for a long while. Long enough that the Boy almost thinks Five has gone to sleep on him. But right when the Boy is prepared to lay back down and go to sleep, he hears the soft whisper. “Me neither.”

And that’s all they say about that.

Five is always really nice about the Boy’s nightmares. They’re really quiet, but Five is hypervigilant to the point that almost any noise wakes him up regardless. The Boy is nervous about that in the beginning, but Five always waves him off. 

“I’m usually awake around this time, anyway.” Five always says, and each time it makes the Boy concerned - because if you were tired you made mistakes, and mistakes got you punished, and the Boy didn’t want Five to get punished. 

On the really bad nights, when the Boy shakes himself awake and can’t stop trembling and can’t string a word together if his life depended on it, when his breathing stutters in his chest and his skin feels too tight and his vision tunnels, Five is there. 

They’re the only nights when Five actually uses the bed, sitting next to the Boy and pulling the Boy’s head down with gentle hands to rest against Five’s own chest. “Breathe.” Five orders, ever so gently, and takes deep breaths for the Boy to copy.

It’s nice. Five is warm, and his heart thumps loudly and steadily against the Boy’s ear. He times his breaths by the beats of that heart until he’s not shaking out of his skin anymore and he can actually fill his lungs with enough air. 

At first, the Boy thought Five would leave as soon as his job of calming the Boy down was over and done with. But he doesn’t. He just sways them both back gently until they’re lying down, pressed against one another in the bed that was really too small for the both of them, and stayed there until morning. Solid and present and warm and safe. 

Sometimes, the boy wakes up too quietly, feeling not quite real. He just blinks his eyes open and stares at the ceiling, feeling like his body isn’t his own. Feeling absent in a way that should be scary if he could bring himself to be alarmed. 

On those nights, he eventually rolls out of bed - the thump of his feet on the floor making Five stir in his nest of blankets. The Boy pads over to the nest, and Five sleepily holds up a blanket to allow the Boy to crawl inside. The solid warmth against his skin makes his skin prickle, but it’s so much better than the numbness that it always makes tears spring to the Boy’s eyes. They sleep curled up together on the floor like puppies and it’s so different from the long lonely nights of the Boy’s childhood.

That isn’t to say that the Boy doesn’t return the favor though, because he does.

Sometimes, he wakes up to a whimper and looks over to see Five half stuffed into the closet, glassy eyed and terrified. On those nights, he swings his feet out of bed and pads over to crouch in front of the unseeing boy.

“What do you see, Five?” The Boy asks, ever so softly, as he always does on nights like these. If he doesn’t get a response, he repeats the question just a smidge louder until he does. 

Five blinks at him, still not quite seeing him. “Ash,” He croaks, voice hoarse and wary, “Ash and rubble and ruin.”

“Hmm.” The Boy considers, tilting his head. “That’s not what I see. Can I tell you what I see?”

Five never answers this question, but that doesn’t stop the Boy. “Under your feet there’s your bedroom floor. It’s kind of cold, ‘cause it’s the middle of the night and it’s not the rug.”

Five’s head tilts to stare at his feet, toes curling against the wood almost warily.

“On your body are pajamas, sort of.” The Boy continues, “I’m pretty sure the pants belong to Vanya, ‘cause they’re not too long on you. They have a heart stitched on the thigh which is either part of the design or the brand, I dunno. They look comfy, though.”

Five’s hand finds the stitched heart, and he runs stiff fingers over the ridges of thread that make up the heart. He looks a tiny bit more present.

“I think the shirt might be Klaus’s? It’s got some kind of band on it, I think. Or maybe a company logo? I’m not real good at telling them apart.” The Boy shrugs, carelessly.

“It’s a band.” Five croaks out. The Boy waits expectantly, but Five adds no more.

“Can I touch your hand?” The Boy asks.

“Can you?” Five challenges.

The Boy reaches out and clasps Five’s hand in his own. Five looks at the two hands as though he’s never seen anything like it in his life, like it’s a small miracle. 

Sometimes, even knowing how he himself grew up, the Boy aches for Five. He aches for the boy lost in the apocalypse. The Boy was never really shown kindness, but at least he wasn’t alone.

“You’re in your bedroom.” The Boy tells him firmly, “It’s 4:32AM on a Tuesday. It’s October 28th. The Apocalypse never happened because you stopped it. Diego bought pumpkins yesterday because Klaus wouldn’t stop whining about it and there’s supposed to be a pumpkin carving party today. You’ve been brainstorming how to get out of it since then.”

There’s color back to Five’s skin now, replacing the ghostly pallor of post-flashback-Five. He looks alert, and like he knows where he is. He sits up fully, and lets go of the Boy’s hand.

“Do you think,” The Boy ponders, drawing Five’s attention, “If I jumped, do you think I’d also end up in the apocalypse?”

Five’s eyes widen in horror. He covers his terror with anger, as he tends to do. “No!” He whisper shouts, looking furious, “We fixed it so it never fucking happened. Why the fuck would you ask that?”

“If I jumped,” The Boy rolls the words around in his mouth, “Then maybe you would be there, too. And then you wouldn’t have had to do it alone.”

There’s still fight in the lines of Five’s body, but it softens. It’s too early to be so angry, anyway. “It’s fine.” He says, “I got out. I’d never want to put any of you guys through the apocalypse. Bad enough I went through it.”

“It’s not okay.” The Boy says, firmly, because that’s what the family always says to him about the bad stuff he went though when he tries to brush it off. “It’s not okay, but I’m glad you’re here with me now at least.”

Five lip quirks, head nodding in acknowledgement of the role reversal. “Yeah, me too.”

They don’t usually go back to sleep after one of Five’s bad episode. Instead, they head downstairs and put on a movie. One of the dumb childish ones that Five rails against in front of the others, but in the mornings he’s too drained to put on anything that requires a modicum of thought or effort.

(He likes the almost guarantee of happy endings, too. The Boy never says anything about it though, because he feels the same way.)

They sit on the sofa together and eat peanut butter or nutella or marshmallow fluff straight from the jars. They don’t talk, but they don’t have to. They just watch the movies until it’s a more sensible time and the others start to wake up.

(Klaus sometimes catches them, with his chronic insomnia and nightmares of his own. Five blames the childish movie choices on the Boy, and the Boy knows that Five’s sensitive about them so he doesn’t mind taking the blame at all. It’s one small way he can help Five out, and it’s one he’s glad to do.

On those night, Klaus and Ben end up joining them. Klaus has a sweet tooth so he’ll steal the marshmallow fluff. He tries to sing along with the musical ones and makes Five throw pillows at him. It’s nice.)

Sometimes Five isn’t awake when the Boy wakes up, because Five whimpers and talks in his sleep. 

It’s strange, the difference between them. The Boy is silent when he sleeps, and silent when he wakes up. It’s the shaking of the bed or the scuff of feet against the floor which wake Five, not any shouts or crying from the Boy’s mouth.

But Five was alone for so long, with no one to hear him, and sometimes it seems like his body forgets that there are people around now. So he whimpers and whispers and begs with his face contorted in such a way that the Boy can’t look at it for too long. Five is so proud when he’s awake, but underneath he’s just as broken as the Boy. Just - in different ways.

After the first few times, the Boy knows not to wake Five up by shaking him or anything. He had a black eye for a week and Five looks tremendously guilty any time they made eye contact for longer than that.

But Five is a light sleeper, so it’s easy to just whisper a loud - “Five?” into the silence of the room. 

Five doesn’t wake slowly, or peacefully. He always sits bolt upright, something not quite a shout on his lips that he strangles as soon as it passes his vocal chords. His hands always shoot up to his ears, as though he’s trying to block something out. 

Those nights, the Boy approaches only after Five has woken and gently pulls Five’s hands down from his ears. After the waking, no words are passed between them. The Boy just lays down next to Five and curls against him on the floor. Sometimes, when Five doesn’t settle back down right away, the Boy hums gently to drown out the dregs of whatever nightmare voices that still plague his family member. 

They don’t talk about the nightmares when it’s daytime. It seems… strange. They don’t exist under the soft protection of the sun’s light, They don’t exist in the streets or in the living room or at the kitchen table. They only exist in their bedroom, in the godawful hours when no one in their right mind should be awake.

They take care of each other. They chase each other’s nightmares away with whatever tools they have at their disposal. They protect one another, because no one else protected them before but they have each other now and that’s enough.

That has to be enough.