#no woman is wearing a crop top in -50° weather

[struno2841]

More stuff with the winter au

[woos-sweaterpaws]

i want to get to know you so do 1-50 (except 29) 🌻

This is really really sweet of you anon thank u!!

__________________________________________

1. how many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 6 in my bed rn

and over 20 plushies

its never enough

2. do you believe in soulmates?

yes i do

3. would you ever kiss a stranger?

yes but not if its like total-never-spoke-to-them stranger

4. describe your dream house

i would prefer not a house but a nice penthouse-loft-apartment in a big city with a nice view and big windows

interior would be minimalistic style with light wood and a big double sized bed for me (since i dont think i will have a partner lol)

i would love an apartment with multiple floors or like a half-floor for the bedroom

5. do you usually use cash or card?

card

6. do you enjoy driving in general?

i hate it with a burning passion

7. do you like your name? if not, what would you change your name to?

i dont HATE my name

there are better/prettier ones but i think mine fits me

i would still like a more international name (since mine is kinda weird in the english speaking world) but  i dont have smth specific in mind

8. what’s your favorite cuisine?

italian ~

9. how often do you get massages?

i dont o.o i got some a few years ago because my back is fucked but otherwise never

10. do you play video games? if so, what games?

generally chill games like animal crossing, stardew valley and such, the big nintendo titles like mario kart and zelda, binding of isaac

11. do you prefer to color with colored pencils, crayons, or markers?

colored pencils!

12. what other fandoms are you in?

oh boy

okay so apart from all of kpop and thai dramas im in

skam

aftg

hp

trc

the mentioned video games if you wanna count that as fandoms

im probably forgetting a ton rn

13. do you have a signature in your style/everyday outfits?

if its comfy i like it

usually involves hoodies or boys shirts

i prefer if i dont have to worry about showing skin somewhere i dont want to

14. do you have any pets? if not, do you want some in the future?

no i dont have any atm but i had bunnies, birds and a guniea pig before. and yes i want cats when i move out

15. do you give objects you own a name? (car, house, plants, etc)

i named my cactus but it died (plants hate me) i also name all my plushies and random animals on the street

16. do you like the weather where you live?

its okay yea. summers are not too hot but i wish the winters were cold enough for snow :(

17. if you could wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?

black! its generally my comfort color in clothes

18. do you like making small talk?

WHO tf likes smalltalk? no!

19. what’s your favorite social media platform?

tumblr 100%

20. have you ever been to hawaii?

no :(

21. name a fashion trend that you absolutely hate

no offence but crop tops

i dont hate them they look good on you guys

but i hate that i cant find hoodies and shirts in womans sections anymore that arent cropped (ive been searching the past 6 months and everytime i like smth its cropped - i especially hated that when looking for oversized hoodies)

i dont wear them myself because cold so it sucks not finding cute clothes

i also fundamentally disagree with mustard-yellow

22. name a fashion trend that you absolutely love

oversized hoodies with ripped jeans and boots was my winter favourite

23. what was the last text you sent?

“okay” in out family groupchat lol

24. when making plans, do you like to organize or go with the flow when the time comes?

i like it to be organized but not be the one who actually organizes it if that makes sense?

25. what do you want to name your future kids?

i dont want kids but i wanna name my cats mochi and (c)leo (depending on gender)

26. do you have a type?

with looks i generally prefer darker hair with pretty eyes but if im comfortable with u it doesnt matter

if u like cuddling, are patient and gentle and love to make jokes that arent funny i probably like u lots

27. when was the last time you kissed someone?

like...kissed kissed? in grade 7 so...2012? my first and last kiss lol

28. how often do you cook?

as often as necessary, as little as possible (i cant really cook except for pasta and stuff so im mostly living of instant meals and “cut up a lot of things and put it in a pan until its browned” kinda stuff)

30. do you always remember your dreams?

no i dont

i had a dream diary once but that was a disaster

31. do you believe in ghosts?

yea kinda

i believe in invisible spirits/souls living with us yea

32. would you ever want to move outside of your country?

sometimes? im too scared to actually do it but there are many nice cities i would love to live in

33. describe your first love

well idk about love...it was always more of an obsession kinda thing and it was never a two-way-thing so i never had a real first love...

34. more peanut butter or more jelly?

i hate peanuts so no pb and only jelly (or nutella if you love me)

35. do your irls know about your tumblr account?

they know i have a tumblr but only my best friend actually follows me (and a high school friend i lost contact to)

my other friends dont have tumblr so they dont care

36. do you prefer hot or cold beverages?

cold!

37. when was the last time you finished a book?

i reread the aftg series last december for the 4th time

38. what would you want your wedding colors to be?

green-white? like a soft bright pastel green? maybe add pastel pink too

39. how long do you let your nails grow?

if i can see them clearly from the inside of my hand i cut them

40. if you could stay at a certain age, what age would you pick?

probably 19 or 7 theres no in between

41. who do you think has it easiest: older siblings or younger siblings?

older siblings because they learn responsibility earlier

i dont have siblings tho so idk

42. how often do you post on social media?

on tumblr daily, on insta never, on twitter occasionally if fun stuff happens

43. do you enjoy big groups?

nope

44. do you like it when you’re awaken by the sounds of birds chirping?

its better than my alarm but waaay too early so nope

45. which hand is your favorite?

left?

46. how many people do you follow?

1152 (yes i might have a problem)

47. how many followers do you have?

359 on my main and 27 on my fandom side account

48. how many drafts do you have?

53 but i use it to save posts i find interesting or that contain links i might need later

49. do you hang or fold your sweaters?

hang because im lazy and it saves space on the clothes dryer rack

50. even numbers or odd?

odd!

[nadjastersurveys]

General Womanhood

1. Do you like the color pink? I like every color so I like pink as well

2. How easily do you cry? Lately I’ve been crying a lot hahaha

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? I tend to lose my appetite when I’m sad. But when I do eat while being sad I go for something unhealthy like most people lol

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? Everytime when I sweat a lot, the boobs leak too lmao

5. What time of month is your time? Like at what time of month is my period in? I don’t know/remember, I don’t track my period which is something I should learn to do

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? I’m not any moodier on my period that I am when I’m not

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? No

8. Have you ever been on the pill? No 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I haven’t really thought about that. It’s not something I have to think now anyways lol. I have time

10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? No and i’m not that sure tbh

11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? My family doesn’t do it that much. Nor do I 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? I can’t cook 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? ^ 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? Baking is more fun 15. Can you sew? I did that when I was in school but I hated it 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? I don’t know, But I don’t think I’m super feminine 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No, it’s always the other way around. Like people telling me to be more girly or them saying that girls can’t wear/say things that. It’s really annoying tbh 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yeah 19. How do you define “girl power”? I think it’s just women supporting and appreciating/accepting other women  20. How much of a neat freak are you? I like things to be neat but I wouldn’t say I’m freak about it 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? No 22. Breastfeeding or formula? I don’t know, whichever is better for the baby? 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think everyone doing the same job should be paid the same amount and your gender shouldn’t have to do anything with it 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I’m not sure 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Pro-choice 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. I’m sure I have, I just can’t think of any examples 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? Yeah because sometimes I just can’t shut up

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I don’t know 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? Nah, I ike being a female

30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. we are amazing.

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yes

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? As a joke only lol

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Nope, I was never interested in it

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? No but I did other dance styles though

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? No

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? No

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? I’ve had friends stay at our house so yes?

38. Do you belong to a sorority? No

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? Not really

40. At what age did you get your first period? I was 12

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? This length I have right now is the longest it’s ever been. So a bit past my boobs. I want to cut my hair a bit though

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? Bangs? Yes, when I was like 2

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? It’s either down or up in a high ponytail

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? I have but I haven’t done it in a while. I have my natural color now

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I’m the heaviest now lol. I’m something like 48kg

46. How muscular are you? Pretty muscular? I don’t know 

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? I have my nose pierced. And piercings on my cartilage as well

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? I don’t

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I’ve never worn lipstick but I’ve worn lip gloss, it makes my lips look yummy lol. Anyway I rarely wear gloss on my lips however

50. How often do you paint your nails? Never

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? No

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, I don’t think they would look good on me

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I shave them couple times a week, so like every other 3 days or so. I’ve never waxed them

54. How white are your teeth? Pretty white

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? No

56. How much do you look like your mother? Lmao I don’t look like her at all. I was adopted from Asia to a European country sooo

57. How much do you look like your father? ^

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? I like my legs and butt, they’re pretty nice haha

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? I don’t like my smile and eyes

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? I’m not sure

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? I own a lot of different t-shirts I guess 62. How big is your closet? It’s pretty small for a walk-in closet 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Well not like that because I have a quite a lot of clothes but yeah sometimes it’s hard to decide what to wear for that reason 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? I like Nike, Adidas and Fila 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? I never wear skirts. I wear dresses in super formal situations so like once every three years lol 66. What is your dress size? XS or S 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? I don’t think I would wear a dress that’s not reaching my knee. Or that goes past my knee, so knee length dresses are my style 68. How expensive was your prom dress? I’m not in high school yet, so 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? My winter jacket 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? No 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? I haven’t 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Never 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yeah of course

74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? I always wear it 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? Always 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? I don’t take it off unless I’m showering or changing it lol 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No lol 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? A bra, going out without panties would feel super uncomfortable 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? Nah, they pretty much never match 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? The only type of underwear I wouldn’t wear is lace. The style doesn’t matter to me, the material/fabric does  81. How much of your underwear is white? I think I have couple 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? No 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I don’t wear it  84. Do you like mascara? Or that, I don’t wear any makeup 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? I don’t wear it lol 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? Yes everytime 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? Just my earrings and my nose ring 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? Well yes ^ my piercings 89. Do you carry a purse at all? I don’t own purses, I mostly use tote bags 

90. Do you like tube and halter tops? No

91. Do you like crop tops? I wear them sometimes, yeah 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? I wouldn’t say it’s that uncomfortable but I never show cleavage lol especially when I go out in public 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? Either way is fine 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? No

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? No

96. Do you have any desires to get married? Not yet anyway

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? I haven’t thought of it

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already? I haven’t planned anything

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding? Small

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? Just couple, nothing dramatic lol

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception? I guess indoor, the weather is so unpredictable

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? I’ve never been in a relationship

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? Nah, I’m not romantic

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Yes

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? I people who make me laugh, it’s the best feeling. I also like cool people haha

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? No

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? Nope

110. Do you kiss on the first date? I haven’t been on a date

111. How often do guys hit on you? Never lol

112. Have women ever hit on you? No

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? Well I’m always sober lmao. Anyway, I’ve kissed a girl and I liked it because it was with the right person

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No, or a boy like I said

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? I don’t know

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Something else haha, like a hug and a kiss?

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? I don’t have any exes

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? No

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? Hmm I don’t know who I really admire 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? Noooo, I hate them 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? Only romantic movies that I liked are Titanic and The Two Faces of January 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? I like the story of Cinderella but I wouldn’t say she’s my favorite princess. I don’t have one?

124. What is your favorite Disney song? I don’t know 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nope 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? Never 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I have seen couple episodes of them both but that’s it 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? No 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? I don’t watch them 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Beyoncé 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I used to like Ellen but now I’ve learned some things about her haha, I don’t know that much about Oprah but she seems nice and intelligent?

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No 133. How many male friends do you have? I don’t have any close male friends 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? No, the opposite ‘cos I’m the youngest so I’m like the baby lol 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? No 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Yes my friends 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? I don’t think I have any? 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No lol 139. How healthy do you eat? I eat pretty healthily. Not all the time like I have my “slips” but I’m mainly pretty healthy 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my shoulder 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Umm nothing else? Bunch of receipts I put to my bag after I bought something and never throw them out? lol

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? No 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? Just sometimes when my hands are full lol 144. Do you consider shopping a sport No lol 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Lately online. It’s something I enjoy more actually, even though I like trying on clothes as well 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? I’m not sure actually 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? Never?

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? I like both, idk which one I prefer more 149. How polite do you consider yourself? I’m pretty polite 150. Can you do the splits? Yes 151. Do you like doing any yoga? I like stretching but I’ve never done yoga 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? Yes

153. How well can you write in cursive? Pretty well I guess, but I prefer print 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? I’ve never been on one

155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? No 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? I don’t drive 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? I don’t remember, I guess not? 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Showers 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah haha 160. How strict are you about manners? I’m not super strict about them

[neaislove]

Lolololol the trans woman wearing pasties and a netted rhinestone covered crop top in this 50 degree weather during bike werk got enough tips to cover her rent and I bet most of the men attending would be offended by her very existanve. Get your money girl. The bravey. The panache. The sheer lack of fucks. I could not. We tipped her $10 for a $6 tab.

[elizascharlesdanceblog]

CD - A Remarkable Man

Charles Dance on making Godzilla: 'The catering was sensational!'

Ryan Gilbey

Freed from Game of Thrones and waging eco-terror in the new monster flick, cinema’s go-to bad aristo talks about turning down 007 and paparazzi ambushes.

Charles Dance is 15 minutes late. “London, yer know?” says the 72-year-old actor through a mouthful of pastry. His friends call him “Charlie” and Americans call him “Chuck”, though for his mother there was never any ambiguity. “‘His name’s Charles,’ she’d say. She ’ad a few ideas above ’er station.” The voice is rougher and more gor-blimey than the one to which audiences are accustomed, as well as friendlier and less imposing. His thinning hair, formerly red and now sand-coloured, is swept back, and he is wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt over a white T-shirt. The silver bracelet halfway up his forearm could pass for memorabilia from Game of Thrones, in which he played Tywin Lannister, shot by his own son with a crossbow while on the loo.

Any confusion between the upper-class roles in which Dance has specialised throughout his 35-year film and television career, and the man he really is – the working-class son of a mother who was in service from the age of 13 – was cleared up long ago. But that hasn’t stopped him playing commanders and archbishops, monsignors and monarchs. He will soon be seen in the third series of The Crown as Lord Mountbatten, while in the new blockbuster Godzilla: King of the Monsters he reprises the aristocratic menace routine that has kept him in fancy silver clasps since the days of starring opposite Eddie Murphy in The Golden Child and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Last Action Hero.

Godzilla takes place mostly in darkened rooms or during inclement weather. Major characters drift through the film, their storylines petering out arbitrarily. I couldn’t make head nor scaly tail of it. And Dance? “I had difficulty staying awake,” he jokes, as though imitating an old duffer who’s wandered into a multiplex by mistake. Then he reverts to normal volume: “No, I didn’t say that! I mean, it’s spectacular.” He plays a former British colonel turned eco-terrorist who has a vested interest in facilitating Godzilla’s reign. Before he says a word in the film, he has already shot someone in the head and is thereafter restricted to the odd line and the occasional scowl. Was his performance cut? His laugh is booming and good-natured. “I keep hearing that! ‘I wish there was more of you.’ It’s what was offered. I just like working. Unless it’s complete and utter crap. I’ve got somepride.” There were clear compensations in this case. “The catering was sensational,” he says.

And, as he points out, it has been a while since he did a mega-budget movie. After all, Godzilla couldn’t be more different from Happy New Year, Colin Burstead, Ben Wheatley’s family-get-together film for the BBC in which he played the cross-dressing widower Uncle Bertie without a hint of camp. “Ten days we shot that in. Handheld cameras, communal green room. SAS film-making.” The character’s sartorial preferences were Dance’s idea. “I told Ben: ‘Ever since his wife died, I think Bertie’s worn women’s clothes. He’s been doing it so long, the family accept it.’ He turns up in his modestly heeled shoes and a bit of cashmere, his twin set and pearls.”

I remind him that the role marked his third foray into women’s fashion. “Riiiight,” he says suspiciously. Well, there was Ali G Indahouse, in which he writhed around at Sacha Baron Cohen’s behest in a red rubber micro skirt, thigh-high leather boots, leopardskin crop-top and drop earrings. He rolls his eyes. “Ah yes. The director said: ‘We’ve had an idea for the ending.’ I was kind of forced into that.

”And for one scene in White Mischief, the 1987 drama about the amoral British upper-class in Kenya during the second world war, the toffs interrupt their routine of polo and wife-swapping for a cross-dressing party. “Joss Ackland was there in bombazine and a tiara. I had on a mid-blue chiffon affair. Then Greta Scacchi comes out looking gob-smackingly gorgeous in this jacket with nothing underneath. Joss said, ‘This is all wrong. We should be going to each other’s wardrobe and just putting on whatever fits.’ He stormed off to complain to the director and I went with him. There’s Joss with his handbag on his arm, me standing there in me gear. I thought, ‘Here we are, expecting to be taken seriously …’

”White Mischief was pivotal for him, cementing his image as a sexy but faintly cold-blooded member of the ruling class. The ITV end-of-the-Raj drama The Jewel in the Crown had already made him a sensation three years earlier. The Sun called him “Dishy Dance” and the People claimed he had given up jogging because of the women flinging themselves under his running shoes on Hampstead Heath. Not that he was in danger of having his head turned – he had been “shlepping around the provinces” in theatre for nearly a decade before that big break, which didn’t happen until his late 30s.

And he was married with two children, so the tabloids weren’t interested in his love life until he split from his wife in 2004 and began dating much younger women. (He had a daughter with one of them, Eleanor Boorman, seven years ago.) Getting tailed by photographers in his 50s and 60s was no fun. “I was going to a shrink for a while and I got papped coming out of there. Pain in the arse. Lowest of the low.”

He was more prepared for the fuss over Jewel than he would have been if he had played James Bond, a part he was invited to test for – and refused – in 1986. “I think I’d have fucked it up. It might’ve gone to my head a bit. When Jewel happened, you couldn’t open a paper without reading about me. I was ‘the thinking woman’s crumpet’. But Bond would’ve been much bigger. I might’ve blown it.” He’s been eyeing the names currently in the frame. “Young Richard Madden is pretty good. Or James Norton. I think Daniel’s been fantastic. What he lacks in the wit of Roger Moore he makes up for in a sense of danger.”

Walking on set on his first day, he wore a T-shirt that read: 'I’m Cheaper Than Alan Rickman'

Without the slightest prompting, he identifies White Mischief as the fork in the road: the moment when he could have pushed his career to the next level, but didn’t. It was in 1988 that Michael Caine said: “Charles Dance is the one. Why? Because he wants it.” Caine approached him in a restaurant: “He told me, ‘I’ve got money on you. Don’t let me down.’ I thought: ‘Fucking hell, that’s nice.’” But Dance himself isn’t sure he ever really did want it – whatever “it” was. “Maybe if I’d had more cardinal ambition. I mean, I’m ambitious, but I don’t tread over people. And sometimes I just don’t feel like it. I thought: ‘No, I don’t want to go off to LA and sit in endless bloody meetings. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.’ I’m a bit like that.

”Then there was the competition. “Jeremy Irons was, and still is, a few feet ahead of me. Who else? Alan Rickman, bless him.” The shallowness of the casting pool was vividly brought home when he received the script for Last Action Hero. “I get to my character’s entrance and it says: ‘The door opens and there stands Alan Rickman.’” Still, he was a good sport about it. Walking on set on his first day, Dance wore a T-shirt that read: “I’m Cheaper Than Alan Rickman.”

It has been a career with obvious highlights: he was the only person to sleep with Ripley in the Alien series (in David Fincher’s Alien 3), played the director DW Griffith for the Taviani brothers in Good Morning, Babylon, and was part of the flawless ensemble in Gosford Park. On the other hand, he was in the medieval stoner romp Your Highness and was recently seen licking Luke Evans with a long, leathery grey tongue in Dracula Untold. He has done Celebrity Antiques Road Trip and Who Do You Think You Are?, where he met the South African great-niece and the three great-great-nephews he never knew he had. He read solemnly from Fifty Shades of Grey and Mel B’s autobiography on The Big Fat Quiz of the Year to much comic effect, and is in the forthcoming Kingsman prequel.

But a significant part of his acting range is currently being neglected. When I asked earlier why he hadn’t yet written an autobiography, his response was humorously gruff: “Who wants to read another book by an actor?” The question of what is missing from the scripts he gets offered prompts an altogether gentler, more ruminative answer. “I’d like to properly front something,” he says softly, his hearty manner replaced by a note of introspection. “If anyone was brave enough to do a remake of Death in Venice, that would be ideal. I notice I tend to be brought in to give a bit of weight to something, you know? Maybe I should be more choosy. I’d just like to be fronting things a bit more than I am.”

source: TheGuardian

[mandssisters]

Go APE. 1.6.19

Well, what a day! 27 degrees in London Town.

With the top logistical team on hand to work out how it is physically safe legal and possible to leave DDD on a Friday night and arrive in Liverpool Sunday evening pre show, via London. Car 🚗 was the chosen method of transport for this final delta phase tour leg. Parked (abandoned) in Shepherd’s Bush and a tube ride to the hotel on Friday night. Let the games begin.

Saturday morning. Arrival at the closest tube station Mile End. There was indeed a ‘Mile’ End to walk to the outer entrance of Victoria Park.

First excitement of the day was purchasing food (McDonalds) from Uber Eats, let’s hope number 354 Old Ford Road didn’t mind me hijacking their address! On the ‘rate my food’ app we gave the five thumbs rating 👍👍👍👍👍 for hotness delivery and all round service. It was indeed the filth on a *plate we needed to survive the day. *plate not included. Nor napkins.

We meet a lovely new couple, Seth and Linda all the way from New Jersey. Flying in for the gig and anniversary weekend! Waves hello to both. A sneaky croissant 🥐 consumed and we were ready to rumble.

The gate time was 1pm the lanes in snaked about 1/2 mile. Tickets scanned body wanded and I was in. Everyone seemed to have a different security experience. Mine was easy others less so.... no outside food allowed inside the park. Security questioned the validity of a tube of factor 50 sunscreen with the need to squeeze some out to validate that it was not food! And I had to pass the sniffer dog twice once on the right side but that was wrong, so had to come in from the left! But the good news was we got the Bourbon biscuits and haribo sweets in. Result. As we walked and not ran towards East Stage there was not a throng of us, just a few trickling through.

Stage set up with the runway style. Barrier spot secured we all set up camp for the day. It was such a relaxed day. Toilet breaks, American Express upgrade wrist bands, 99 Mr Whippy, water from security staff, and Tango all purchased. It was a hot and dusty day. Hay fever aplenty for some. *sneeze*

At 1.45, Mosa Wild opens up the day: great band. And a great 👍 cover of ‘the whole of the moon’.

It was like a flash back to Australia as next was GRETTA RAY and band. Yes, you’ve guessed it, sporting a lacey, off the shoulder red top with cropped flared jeans (newly purchased that day, and Greta commented ‘hard to sit in’! ). Gretta and new band sound great. I should point out that the crowd was still on the light side...... still good access to all amenities!

Tamino Amir brought a different sound to the afternoon. Personally I liked it, others less so. I found the Egyptian style chanting relaxing and rather haunting. The keyboard player borrowed my look for the show.... the problem was the drum was so loud it vibrated down to the field (to the core of the earth in-fact) and even the confetti on the floor was in ear pain.

Post Tamino we had to seek out an emergency round of slush puppies. E numbers and coolness in a plastic cup personified! Lifesavers. Shame about the sturdiness of the paper straw. FYI don’t go for strawberry 🍓! Stick with “raspberry”. Blue is best.

Jade Bird was the up beat kinda gal we needed. Clearly she missed the memo on the weather, wearing a baby blue two piece suit. Belting out some great tunes and loving every minute of it. There was a good crowd for Jade and lots of fans.

Has anyone seen the Vaccines!? They brought it to the park. The party was really warming up. Justin prowling the stage like the true front man he is. They have some anthems. It was during this performance that a chant of ‘ooooh Jeremy Corbynn!’ started behind us, as we turn around there was this 60 something bloke up on the shoulders of someone, virtually crowd surfing! Funny as! His appearance was akin to the Labour Party leader hence the chanting! Funny. Security quickly beckoned him down!

Ok now brace yourself and batten down the hatches. It’s Dizzee Rascal time. By now the pit was 50% fuller of security.... be prepared. Dizzee’s dj was setting up with large screen backdrop for visual effects. Screen number 2.7 clearly giving issues! Well. What a party 🥳 Dizzee knows how to throw it! We did indeed dance and throw some serious moves. It was a little “bonkers” with some serious moshing happening. A few drinks flying around. But security had it all covered. I have to say I loved it. Not really my scene but what a great 60 mins. Never seen so many security staff ‘secretly’ videoing Dizzee during the set!!

The madness ebbed away after Dizzee and normality resumed. All was well.

And we’ve made it to showtime!!!!! Having sneaked a look at a security list we could see Guiding Light was the opener, so no 42, despite the runway.

As the sun set the show starts! A feel-good vibe from the start. Marcus leapt from the amp down along the runway for the end of Guiding light. The chaps soon followed for LLM, straight into the Cave.

Believe had pyro action. And many lights around the crowd quite a spectacle. Ditmas run, Marcus helped out a female member of the audience who either got caught up in the action or felt faint.

Lots of signs, lots of wings, some of them 🦇 bat wings.

Beloved was played with The Staves and sounded particularly emotional. What a sweet sound.

B stage at the end of the runway. Marcus saying they hadn’t done a quiet B stage at a festival before, (memories of Hyde Park?!) Wild Heart, White Blank into Forever, joined by Gretta.

Picture you and Darkness Visible were dropped from the setlist and the pyro! I guess to keep the pace up.

Woman! Seems to be staying in the set. One comment, the red stage lights make it really hard to satisfactorily video!

Rose of Sharon! We loved it. They band looked like they were having a blast playing it. Marcus dancing and spinning and smiling away. It was special.

Marcus saying cover your ears if you don’t want to know the football result.....Liverpool won 2 nil! We have mixed emotions about this news...but that’s so tomorrow.

‘Friends’ popped back into the setlist to round off the night with Gretta, Jade, Leanne Lehavas, The Staves, some vaccines, Dermot Kennedy all joining in the singsong! Such a warm ending to a FAB day!

After a long day, what we really needed was a long sit down on a comfy sofa. What we got was a 1 and a half hours walk to the tube station one stop down from Mile End. Mike End was rammed and the queue was epically long. And not a fake merch seller in sight.

We bid a fond farewell to Seth and Linda. Thanks for your company and kindness. See you again sometime somewhere on the road (hopefully soon). What an epic day!

[screamxqueenx94]

Your Song// X-MEN (Part 4)

I find inspiration everywhere. No lie, usually with music. So this is inspired by Your Song by Rita Ora. I thought it would be cute so I’m doing it :) btw, this is a contiuation of She’s Been Enrolled. It’s about four months later. Enjoy :)

Alex Summers x OC (Layla Hemmings)

Warnings: SO MUCH CUTENESS!!! fluff

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been about four months since Layla had been enrolled to Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters. She had made a few friends in the school, but her strongest relationship was with Alex Summers. The boy she brought back to life and who had asked her out. She had helped him catch up on what he had missed since he was gone. She also reunited him with his family. They always spent their free time together since they had become official three months ago. They wanted to take things slow since this was her first relationship and he was getting use to being alive again. Today they were going to spend some time together and have a lazy day, which neither of them ever really got since he was back in training to be on the team again and Layla was usually working on finding the true limit to her powers.

It was a warm sunny day when Layla got up. She got out of bed and turned on the radio as she was getting ready for the day like she usually did. After she put on a tank top and started looking for what to wear, the radio personnel came on.

“Good morning Westchester County! Today is a beautiful sunny day here and I’m in the mood to play some happy music to go along with this gorgeous weather we’re having! This one goes to all of you who feel as happy as I do this morning. This Rita Ora’s Your Song!”

Layla started jumping up and down with utter joy. She loves this song and even though Alex would never admit it, he liked it too. She grabbed her hair brush and started dancing around and singing into the brush like a microphone.

“….Last night we were way up, kissing in the back of the cab. And then you say, ‘Love, baby, let’s go back to my flat’. And when we wake up, never had a feeling like that…..” she danced in front of her mirror, flipping her ginger hair around, then goes and starts dancing and jumping on her bed.

“….I don’t want to hear sad songs anymore, I only wanna hear love songs! I found my heart up in this place tonight!” She jumped off the bed and spun in circles, giving the song her all.

“….Don’t wanna sing mad songs anymore! Only wanna sing your song! ‘Cause your song’s got me feeling like…” she goes to the middle of her room and jumps around in a circle, flipping her hair around once again.

“I’m in love! I’m in love! I’m in love! Yeah you know your song’s got me feeling like I’m…” she finally turns and faces the door then suddenly stops.

Alex was right there. Leaning against the door frame. One hand on the door knob and the other trying to help him hold in his giggles. Layla’s cheeks turn bright red as she tries to hide her face.

“Alex! H–how long have you been standing there?” She asks nervously, hiding the hairbrush behind her back.

“Long enough to know that you still jump on your bed like a little kid.” He smirks.

She put her head down, still trying to hide her face in embarrassment. He walks over to her and hugs her tightly, then looks at her.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s adorable!” He tells her sweetly.

She looked up at him, still blushing and feeling so tiny in his arms. She gives him a small smile. He let’s go and tucks some of her hair behind her ear and just smiles adoringly at her. They stay that way for awhile until she realizes that she was still half naked.

“Um, Alex? Do you mind if I finish getting dressed?” She asks shyly.

He looks down at her half dressed body and instantly turns red. He quickly turns around and rubs the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah, of course! I–I’ll just wait for you downstairs….” He trails off nervously.

He walks hastily out of the room, still looking down and nearly running into the door way. Layla quickly put on a lacy off the shoulder crop top and high waisted velvet bell bottoms and heads downstairs to where Alex is. As Layla came down the stairs, Alex turned and looked at her as she came down the stairs. When he sees her, his eyes light up and flashes her his adorable crooked smile. She blushes and smiles back. He takes her hand and they head out the front door and borrow a car from Charles.

——————————————————————————

They spent the entire day at Glen Island Beach. They orginally went just to collect seashells and get fresh air, but they stayed for the sand and the ocean, which made Layla feel relieved that she put her two piece bathing suit on under her clothes. Layla always loved the beach, but now she had someone to enjoy it with and it made her feel like she was on cloud nine. It also didn’t hurt that Alex sunbathed next to her shirtless. 

As usual, Layla brought one of her many sketchbooks. He laid out in the sun while she sat up and used her knees as a table for her sketchbook. He looked up to see what she was doing. He noticed she was drawing a picture of a mother and her baby playing in the water, reminding her of her and her mother. 

“That’s beautiful.” he tells her, sitting up and half smiling. 

She looks over at him and softly chuckles. “Thanks. I’m drawing it for my mom. This was always one of our favorite things to do when I was a kid.” she told him reminising about her mom. 

“You miss her, huh?” he asked, putting his hand comfortingly on her back. 

“A little. It gets a little easier each day… I mean, at least I still get to talk to her, y’know?” she replies quietly. 

“Yeah. Yeah I know what you mean.” he says, laying back, supporting himself on his elbows. 

Layla goes back to drawing, until the mother and baby leave, but Layla keeps adding small details. Alex sits up again and looks over her shoulder. He smirks and taps her opposite shoulder, making her look that way when he quickly takes her small sketchbook with a playful look on his face and she whips her head around to see him. She starts laughing and trying to get it back. Before she can grab the book, he wraps his arm around her waist and rolls over to be on top. 

He’s surprised when she uses most of her strength to end up back on top. The laughter fades out when they make eye contact. He looks deep into her forest green eyes and she into his baby blue ones. Layla bites her lip. He tucks her hair behind her ear and gives her a half smile. After a few moments, like a magnet, their lips meet each other in a sweet, romantic kiss. She cups his face in her hands as his arms wrap tightly around her waist. 

They’re embraced in the kiss for awhile. Once they pull away, they notice an elderly couple looking over in admiration. They lift their drinks to Alex and Layla and the two of them wave nervously to the elderly couple. They look at each other blushing from slight embarrassment. 

“Don’t be embarrassed sweeties. We were there once too at your age.” The cute little old woman told them sweetly. 

“Wait until you get to be our age. Even though you won’t look the same, you’re love will still make you feel like you’re youngsters.” her husband chimes in. 

Layla just smiled and chuckled at their words, feeling less embarrassed. 

“Just you wait, this will be a story you’ll tell your grandkids one day and it’ll make them believe in love.” the old lady continued as she held her husband’s hand as they looked lovingly into each other’s eyes. 

Layla and Alex can’t help but look into each others’ eyes the same way. They’re fingers intertwine and Alex kisses her hand sweetly. The elderly couple pack up their things. 

The elderly man leans in to talk to Alex. “You keep a hold of her, Sonny. She’s a real keeper.” He tips his fedora to them and walks hand in hand with his wife as they carry their lawn chairs and cooler. Alex and Layla look back at each other again. He leans back on his elbows while she still straddles his lap. 

“How crazy would it be if that WAS us in 40 to 50 years?” he asks nonchantly, smirking. 

Layla giggles. “They were so cute!” she exclaimed. 

“I’m serious.” he says while chuckling. 

Layla giggles again. “Well, if we’re anything like them, then I’d say we’re two very lucky people.” she tells him. 

They stay in that same position, looking into each others’ eyes once again. Then Layla gets up and grabs Alex’s hand pulls him to his feet. 

“One more dip in the ocean before we go back to the mansion?” she asks, smiling. 

“I’ll race ya.” he replies. 

They race to the water, with Layla ahead by just a little bit until Alex grabs her by her waist, spins her around and carries her to the water with him. They splash each other and play around until the sun started to set. They trudged out of the water and got ready to go. They walked hand in hand back to the car. Alex loaded up the trunk as Layla admired the view of the setting sun. 

He walked up next to her and they sat on the hood of the car as they watched the sun set. She put her head on his shoulder and sighed to show she was relaxed. He looked down at her, half smiled and put his arm around her, pulling her closer and kissed the top of her head before looking back to the sunset view. After the sun had set and it got dark, they went back to the mansion.  

——————————————————————————

Once they got back to the mansion, Alex walked Layla back to her room. Before she went in, she turned to him and half smiled. 

“I had an amazing time with you today, Alex.” she said shyly. 

“Me too.” he replied back, taking her hand. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked sweetly. 

“Of course.” he tells her with a half smile. 

He brings her hand to lips and kisses it, making her blush. Once he let go, she kisses his cheek and goes to her room. He walks back to his room, still smiling.

After that day, they both knew it was love. Now only time will tell on who says ‘I love you’ first. maybe it will be Alex, or maybe it will be Layla. All they know is how they feel about each other and those feelings are strong.    

[vada-g-baldwin-block2]

Week one

MONDAY

Today I have been dropping in and out of calls about the new season shows to get an idea of the designs and an understanding of the scripts. the calls were all at the same time so I chose to go to the the Sherman shows. Terroir and The electric. I went to the read through for Terroir which was interesting. I also went to the read through for The Ache in the morning but because all the actors were in one room rather than on zoom it was hard to catch what they were saying.

the design presentations were really useful and I made these notes..

Dan and Tierney 

TERROIR

S,Loyd

Landscape- climate 20 years from now. What will Wales look like in 50 years time ? The play is set in 2040.How we respond to change when faced with extinction. How the past effects the characters. How parents decisions affect their children's lives.

TERROIR SET

2040- sunset, a bar, raised bay window area, stays the same throughout. a mix of shabby and fresh to show the span of the decades.

The carpets markings are 2m apart to give the actors a guide.

2020- Warm light, a proper pub, lively

2025- hopefull

2030- darker but bright

2040- darker

the light changes to indicate the different times

the space can be lit from underneath to give the effect that they are floating on an island, a feeling of hollowness, isolated. surrounded by water

3 stools, 1 bar, 2 chairs one table.

TERROIR COSTUME

Huw

2020- Polo shirt, 18 years old, smart but ill-fitting clothes

2025- money man successful

2030- a sustainable revolution has happened but he refuses to take part

Matt 

2020- Foster kid, skater, makes an effort to look effortless

2025- pub owner, clothes fit properly, bar tender, a strong optimist

 Summer

2020- has a kid, caring, 18 years old, 4 year old child, doing well, hopefully, mom jeans, crop top.

2025- smart. things start to go wrong, but she wants to take control

Osain

2020- not as well off as the others, less expensive clothes but always nice to people.

2025- a dad and it suits him, smarter, geography teacher

Claire

2020-  doesn't fit with who she is right now, tries to look nice but doesn't quite work.

2025- police woman, come into her own

2030- white shirt, smart trousers

Ffion

2020- Art student, wants to punch a hole for herself in the world

2025- more tired, more muted

2030- more muted and more comfortable with her life and home.

2040 Rhys and Kyra

dressed for hardy weather. government issued, suit for life. tough, practical, solar panels, long journey, sustainable suit, everyone has one.

THE ELECTRIC

Family scale- based on Electra. South end . Loyalty, revenge, change and love.

How can we break the cycle? How can we protect out legacys?

Night club, Fantasy, unreality, stark. holds memory. a space that can shift.

SET

Bar area, dance floor area, door, a pier

Concrete slabs

cracked tiles- bar area

posters and stickers

Graffiti on the bar

neon light- The Electric sign

disco ball

door- glowing light, menacing

Speakers

Screen- can see through it 

Columns

COSTUME

Sacha

Weathered and worn, overused, boots, she is apart of the space, wears her dads jacket, she blends into the space. been out for hours, messy and scruffy.

Daisy

Looks comfortable in the space but sticks out with a few more pops of colour. boots, tights, shorts, belt, polo neck top, smudged makeup. been out for hours

Chanel

Trying to look nice, boots, casual, neat, smart, clean, distant from the club vibe.

Den

Very casual, just turned up, hoodie, joggers, trainers, baggy

Joe

Blends into the space, he fits in, visual link to Sacha, leather jacket, ripped jeans, layers.

Charlie

Preppy, pastel, chinos, polar opposite to the space.

Alexa

Charlies twin, reflect each other, cording school vibes, neutral colours.

Andy

police man, uniform, slightly dishevelled, creased, crooked, rookie cop

I went to the read through for Terroir which was really helpful to understand how it jumps back and forth between the decades and so the space we create needs to cater to all of this.

[armandsdivorcelawyer]

I was feeling weird bc I'm wearing a crop top in 50 degree weather but then I saw a white woman in shorts and an open jacket so I'm feeling better

[lifebrate123-blog]

11 Best Classic and Cool Short Hairstyles for Older Women

SHORT SPIKEY PIXIE

Pixie crop or pixie cut is a women’s haircut about half an inch to 3-inches in length. It may either be one-length or cut shorter on the back/sides and longer on the top.

Pixie haircuts became popular in the 50s, after the premiere of the Roman Holiday featuring the charming short-haired Audrey Hepburn. In the 60s, actress Mia Farrow and supermodel Twiggy wore the cut as well. Moving to modern day, many celebrities have tried pixies, too, such as Katy Perry, Cara Delevingne, Pamela Anderson, and Miley Cyrus, among others..

CLASSIC BOB

This cut is a classic bob shape, creating length that sits just above the shoulders. A soft, side fringe was added to open up the face and play up the eyes and eyebrows.

The cut is bold, but still classic. The length grazes the base of your neck and moves with you.

A bob haircut is cut square along the outline and can be left strong and structured, or razored through the ends of thicker, more dense hair texture. By keeping all of the hair one length, it’s a wonderful cut for fine to medium hair.

All face shapes can wear this cut, but if you have a square or round shape keep the length longer in the front to elongate your face shape. Those with triangle-shaped faces should snip a long, side-swept fringe to balance out the face.

SHORT LAYERED CUT

Short layered hairstyles are really hot in the fashion and beauty industry at the moment! They can be sassy, sultry, sweet or chic! This article is going to give you an inside look at 70 different varieties of short textured hairstyles that are currently flourishing on the trend scene!

ANGLED CUT

we have all the inspiration we need to update our shorter 'dos. The angled bob hairstyle, for instance, where your hair is shorter in the back and longer in the front, is an easy way to switch up your look without making a major change.

SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR

Shoulder length hair is the best! It’s the ideal length for the woman who has tons of things to do but not the time to handle her hair. It’s easy to manage and style. You can tie your hair in a bun or leave it loose without feeling frazzled.

LAYERED PLATINUM BOB

                                      If you've got skinny hair and can select this hairstyle, the degree of your hair can look improved with some piecey layers. It permits you to fancy the total movement of your stunning feathered hair. If you like to paint them, you may get free from the concern of constant touch-ups.

THICK, WAVY BOB

Women with thick curly hair often complain that their curls are difficult to style and resort to flat ironing as the only salvation from disobedient curls. But why not to use the special qualities of your hair structure to your own benefit? You only need to choose the right haircut, and your curls are going to look superb!

FLIPPED-UNDER BOB

Flipped out hairstyles look especially great on narrow or thin face shapes, and they help to add volume in fine, thin or medium hair types. The ends can be flipped out using a round brush when blow-drying, or a curling iron/ rollers on dry hair. The choice is yours as each method will give a slightly different look.

WISPY SILVER BOB

If you’re a bit of a rebel or love boho style, today’s gallery of shaggy, extreme and choppy bobs is just right for keeping track of what’s hot right now.  There’s been a big shift in hair color trends this year and there are so many different hair color ideas on offer – from bright copper, to taupe with ash-blonde highlighting, lots of styles with silver and white highlights, summery glossy blue/sea-green plus sophisticated graphite-gray and plum/purple highlights! 

FEMININE SHORTER HAIRSTYLE

Rocking a short style can be difficult sometimes. The weather may cause your hair to frizz and look unpolished or you may find that the overall aesthetic is not girly enough for your flirty feminine style. But, there is no denying the ease of a short pixie cut, as it truly takes the guesswork out of the classic question of how you should style your hair each morning. The looks below range from curly and cute to sleek and spunky with enough options to suit any woman’s style.

SHORT MESSY LILAC

    Messy hairstyles for short hair are a great, easy-care option and a trendy fashion look, all rolled into one!  In fact, short haircuts usually lead the fashion trends and the current popularity of tousled and ‘windswept’ styling means you only need to fix your hair once a day.  Today’s gorgeous gallery of modern, messy hairstyles for short hair also showcases lots of new, face-flattering hair colors.  So make yourself comfy and enjoy the show!

ONE-LENGTH BALAYAGE BOB WITH BANGS

One-length bob may be a haircut that ne'er causes you to wrong in your call. No worries if you are doing not like layers on short hair. lowest layers also can provides a cute form to your haircut and might be titled in some ways, like straight, nappy or wavy. after you apply balayage, it makes the design utterly fashionable  and up-to-date.

TEXTURED PIXIE

A pixie cut is a short women’s haircut you typically see on a fashionably gamine woman. If you are a tomboy at heart or just want to shake things up a bit and don’t mind a crop, definitely go for a pixie haircut! You may lose most of your locks but what you gain is a simple wash-and-go style, an added edge to your and lots of compliments.

GRADUATED BOB

 With adorable layered stacks in the back and a little length up front, graduated bobs are undoubtedly super trendy and dimensional for a fabulous textured hairstyle that looks good on girls and women of all ages. These 10 CUTE graduated bob hairstyles will take your adorable bob to the next level in a flash

JAW-LENGTH BOB WITH LAYERS

We wonder if there’s any girl or woman out there who has never tried a bob haircut. With a variety of lengths and finishes, there’s, for sure, a bob that flatters your face and suits your hair type. Modern on-trend bobs opt for layering that works for the increase or reduction of volume and makes the overall look chic and present-day. The other thing is when choosing an appropriate cut, we always think of how we are going to style it.

Website: - https://www.lifebrate.com/elegant-short-hairstyles/

[lesbianrewrites]

The Martian Chapter 9

*disclaimer* This is a project done for fun, and none of these characters/works belong to me. I do not claim to own any of the material on this page.

This is a Lesbian edit of The Martian by Andy Weir.

Chapters will be posted every day at 2pm EST.

Google doc version can be found here. The chapter can also be found under the cut. Enjoy!

CHAPTER IX

LOG ENTRY: SOL 79 It’s the evening of my 8th day on the road. “Sirius 4” has been a success so far. I’ve fallen into a routine. Every morning I wake up at dawn. First thing I do is check oxygen and CO2 levels. Then I eat a breakfast pack and drink a cup of water. After that, I brush my teeth, using as little water as possible, and shave with an electric razor. The rover has no toilet. We were expected to use our suits’ reclamation systems for that. But they aren’t designed to hold twenty days worth of output. My morning piss goes in a resealable plastic box. When I open it, the rover reeks like a truck-stop men’s room. I could take it outside and let it boil off. But I worked hard to make that water, and the last thing I’m going to do is waste it. I’ll feed it to the Water Reclaimer when I get back. Even more precious is my manure. It’s critical to the potato farm and I’m the only source on Mars. Fortunately, when you spend a lot of time in space, you learn how to shit in a bag. And if you think things are bad after opening the piss box, imagine the smell after I drop anchor. Then I go outside and collect the solar cells. Why didn’t I do it the previous night? Because trying to dismantle and stack solar cells in total fucking darkness isn’t fun. I learned that the hard way. After securing the cells, I come back in, turn on some shitty ‘70’s music, and start driving. I putter along at 25kph, the rover’s top speed. It’s comfortable inside. I wear hastily made cut-offs and a thin shirt while the RTG bakes the interior. When it gets too hot I detach the insulation duct-taped to the hull. When it gets too cold, I tape it back up. I can go almost 2 hours before the battery runs out. I do a quick EVA to swap cables, then I’m back at the wheel for the second half of the day’s drive. The terrain is very flat. The undercarriage of the rover is taller than any of the rocks around here, and the hills are gently-sloping affairs, smoothed by eons of sandstorms. When the other battery runs out, it’s time for another EVA. I pull the solar cells off the roof and lay them on the ground. For the first few sols, I lined them up in a row. Now I plop them wherever, trying to keep them close to the rover out of sheer laziness. Then comes the incredibly dull part of my day. I sit around for 12 hours with nothing to do. And I’m getting sick of this rover. The inside’s the size of a van. That may seem like plenty of room, but try being trapped in a van for 8 days. I look forward to tending my potato farm in the wide open space of the Hab. I’m nostalgic for the Hab. How fucked up is that? I have shitty ‘70’s TV to watch, and a bunch of Poirot novels. But mostly I spend my time thinking about getting to Ares 4. I’ll have to do it someday. How the hell am I going to survive a 3,200km trip in this thing? It’ll probably take 50 days. I’ll need the Water Reclaimer and the Oxygenator, maybe some of the Hab’s main batteries, then a bunch more solar cells to charge everything… where will I put it all? These thoughts pester me throughout the long boring days. Eventually, it gets dark and I get tired. I lay among the food packs, water tanks, extra O2 tank, piles of CO2 filters, box of pee, bags of shit, and personal items. I have a bunch of crew jumpsuits to serve as bedding, along with my blanket and pillow. Basically, I sleep in a pile of junk every night. Speaking of sleep… G’night.LOG ENTRY: SOL 80 By my reckoning, I’m about 100km from Pathfinder. Technically it’s “Carl Sagan Memorial Station.” But with all due respect to Carl, I can call it whatever the hell I want. I’m the Queen of Mars. As I mentioned, it’s been a long, boring drive. And I’m still on the outward leg. But hey, I’m an astronaut. Long-ass trips are my business. Navigation is tricky. The Hab’s nav beacon only reaches 40km, then it’s too faint. I knew that’d be an issue when I was planning this little road trip, so I came up with a brilliant plan that didn’t work. The computer has detailed maps, so I figured I could navigate by landmarks. I was wrong. Turns out you can’t navigate by landmarks if you can’t find any god damned landmarks. Our landing site is at the delta of a long-gone river. If there are any microscopic fossils to be had, it’s a good place to look. Also, the water would have dragged rock and soil samples from thousands of kilometers away. With some digging, we could get a broad geological history. That’s great for science, but it means the Hab’s in a featureless wasteland. I considered making a compass. The rover has plenty of electricity and the med kit has a needle. Only one problem: Mars doesn’t have a magnetic field. So I navigate by Phobos. It whips around Mars so fast it actually rises and sets twice a day, running west to east. It’s isn’t the most accurate system, but it works. Things got easier on Sol 75. I reached a valley with a rise to the west. It had flat ground for easy driving, and I just needed to follow the edge of the hills. I named it “Lewis Valley” after our fearless leader. She’d love it there, geology nerd that she is. Three sols later, Lewis Valley opened into a wide plain. So, again, I was left without references and relied on Phobos to guide me. There’s probably symbolism there. Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign. But today, my luck finally changed. After two sols wandering the desert, I found something to navigate by. It was a 5km crater, so small it didn’t even have a listed name. But to me, it was the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Once I had it in sight, I knew exactly where I was. I’m camped near it now, as a matter of fact. I’m finally through the blank areas of the map. Tomorrow, I’ll have the Lighthouse to navigate by, and Hamelin crater later on. I’m in good shape. Now, on to my next task: Sitting around with nothing to do for 12 hours. I better get started!LOG ENTRY: SOL 81 Almost made it to Pathfinder today, but I ran out of juice. Just another 22km to go! An unremarkable drive. Navigation wasn’t a problem. As Lighthouse receded into the distance, the rim of Hamelin Crater came into view. I left Acidalia Planitia behind a long time ago. I’m well into Ares Vallis now. The desert plains are giving way to bumpier terrain, strewn with ejecta that never got buried by sand. It makes driving a chore; I have to pay more attention. Up till now, I’ve been driving right over the rock-strewn landscape. But as I travel further south, the rocks are getting bigger and more plentiful. I have to go around some of them or risk damage to my suspension. The good news is I don’t have to do it for long. Once I get to Pathfinder, I can turn around and go the other way. The weather’s been very good. No discernible wind, no storms. I think I got lucky there. There’s a good chance my rover tracks from the past few sols are intact. I should be able to get back to Lewis Valley just by following them. After setting up the solar panels, I went for a little walk. I never left sight of the rover; the last thing I want to do is get lost on foot. But I couldn’t stomach crawling back into that cramped, smelly rat’s nest. Not right away. It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First person ever to be there! Climb a hill? First person to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first person to drive long-distance on Mars. The first person to spend more than 31 sols on Mars. The first person to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first! I wasn’t expecting to be first at anything. I was the 5th crewman out of the MDV when we landed, making me the 17th person to set foot on Mars. The egress order had been determined years earlier. A month before launch, we all got tattoos of our “Mars Numbers.” Johanssen almost refused to get her “15” because she was afraid it would hurt. Here’s a woman who had survived the centrifuge, the vomit comet, hard landing drills and 10k runs. A woman who fixed a simulated MDV computer failure while being spun around upside-down. But she was afraid of a tattoo needle. Man, I miss those guys. I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet. Ok, enough moping. Tomorrow, I’ll be the first person to recover a Mars probe.LOG ENTRY: SOL 82 Victory! I found it! I knew I was in the right area when I spotted Twin Peaks in the distance. The two small hills are under a kilometer from the landing site. Even better, they were on the far side of the site. All I had to do was aim for them until I found the Lander. And there it was! Right where it was supposed to be! Pathfinder’s final stage of descent was a balloon-covered tetrahedron. The balloons absorbed the impact of landing. Once it came to rest, they deflated and the tetrahedron unfolded to reveal the probe. It’s actually two separate components. The Lander itself, and the Sojourner rover. The Lander was immobile, while Sojourner wandered around and got a good look at the local rocks. I’m taking both back with me, but the important part is the Lander. That’s the part that can communicate with Earth. I excitedly stumbled out and rushed to the site. I can’t explain how happy I was. It was a lot of work to get here, and I’d succeeded. The Lander was half buried. With some quick and careful digging, I exposed the bulk of it, though the large tetrahedron and the deflated balloons still lurked below the surface. After a quick search, I found Sojourner. The little fella was only two meters from the Lander. I vaguely remember it was further away when they last saw it. It probably entered a contingency mode and started circling the Lander, trying to communicate. I quickly deposited Sojourner in my rover. It’s small, light, and easily fit in the airlock. The Lander was a different story. I had no hope of getting the whole thing back to the Hab. It was just too big. It was time for me to put on my mechanical engineer hat. The probe was attached to the central panel of the unfolded tetrahedron. The other three sides were each attached with a metal hinge. As anyone at JPL will tell you, probes are delicate things. Weight is a serious concern, so they’re not made to stand up to much punishment. When I took a crowbar to the hinges, they popped right off! Then things got difficult. When I tried to lift the central panel assembly, it didn’t budge. Just like the other three panels, the central panel had deflated balloons underneath it. Over the decades, the balloons had ripped and filled with sand. I could cut off the balloons, but I’d have to dig to get to them. It wouldn’t be hard, it’s just sand. But the other three panels were in the damn way. I quickly realized I didn’t give a crap about the condition of the other panels. I went back to my rover, cut some strips of Hab material, then braided them into a primitive but strong rope. I can’t take credit for it being strong. Thank NASA for that. I just made it rope-shaped. I tied one end to a panel, and the other to the rover. The rover was made for traversing extremely rugged terrain, often at steep angles. It may not be fast, but it has great torque. I towed the panel away like a redneck removing a tree stump. Now I had a place to dig. As I exposed each balloon, I cut it off. The whole task took an hour. Then I hoisted the central panel assembly up and carried it confidently to the rover! At least, that’s what I wanted to do. The damn thing is still heavy as hell. I’m guessing it’s 200kg. Even in Mars gravity that's a bit much. I could carry it around the Hab easily enough, but lifting it while wearing an awkward EVA suit? Out of the question. So I dragged it to the rover. Now for my next feat: Getting it on the roof. The roof was empty at the moment. Even with mostly-full batteries, I had set up the solar cells when I stopped. Why not? Free energy. I’d worked it out in advance. On the way here, two stacks of solar panels occupied the whole roof. On the way back, they would be a single stack. It’s a little more dangerous; they might fall over. The main thing it they’ll be a pain in the ass to stack that high. I can’t just throw a rope over the rover and hoist Pathfinder up the side. I don’t want to break it. I mean, it’s already broken, they lost contact in 1997. But I don’t want to break it more. I came up with a solution, but I’d done enough physical labor for one day, and I was almost out of daylight. Now I’m in the rover, looking at Sojourner. It seems all right. No physical damage on the outside. Doesn’t look like anything got too baked by the sunlight. The dense layer of Mars crap all over it protected it from long-term solar damage. You may think Sojourner isn’t much use to me. It can’t communicate with Earth. Why do I care about it? Because it has a lot of moving parts. If I establish a link with NASA, I can talk to them by holding a page of text up to the Lander’s camera. But how would they talk to me? The only moving parts on the Lander are the high gain antenna (which would have to stay pointed at Earth) and the camera boom. We’d have to come up with a system where NASA could talk by rotating the camera head. It would be painfully slow. But Sojourner has six independent wheels that rotate reasonably fast. It’ll be much easier to communicate with those. If nothing else, I could draw letters on the wheels, and hold a mirror up to its camera. NASA’d figure it out and start spelling things at me. That all assumes I can get the Lander’s radio working at all. Time to turn in. I’ve got a lot of backbreaking physical labor to do tomorrow. I’ll need my rest.LOG ENTRY: SOL 83 Oh god I’m sore. But it’s the only way I could think of to get the Lander safely onto the roof. I built a ramp out of rocks and sand. Just like the ancient Egyptians did. And if there’s one thing Ares Vallis has, it’s rocks! First, I experimented to find out how steep the grade could be. Piling up some rocks near the Lander, I dragged it up the pile, then down again. Then I made it steeper, etc. I figured out I could pull it up a 30 degree grade. Anything more was too risky. I might lose my grip and send the Lander tumbling down the ramp. The roof of the rover is over 2 meters from the ground. So I’d need a ramp almost 4 meters long. I got to work. The first few rocks were easy. Then they started feeling heavier and heavier. Hard physical labor in a spacesuit is murder. Everything’s more effort because you’re lugging 20kg of suit around with you, and your movement is limited. I was panting within 20 minutes. So I cheated. I upped my O2 mixture. It really helped a lot. Probably shouldn’t make that a habit. Also, I didn’t get hot. The suit leaks heat faster than my body could ever generate it. The heating system is what keeps the temperature bearable. My physical labor just meant the suit didn’t have to heat itself as much. After hours of grueling labor, I finally got the ramp made. Nothing more than a pile of rocks against the rover, but it reached the roof. I stomped up and down the ramp first, to make sure it was stable, then I dragged the Lander up. It worked like a charm! I was all smiles as I lashed the Lander in place. I made sure it was firmly secured, and even stacked the solar cells in a big single stack (why waste the ramp?). But then it hit me. The ramp would collapse as I drove away, and the rocks might damage the wheels or undercarriage. I’d have to take the ramp apart to keep that from happening. Ugh. Tearing the ramp down was easier than putting it up. I didn’t need to carefully put each rock in a stable place. I just dropped them wherever. It only took me an hour. And now I’m done! I’ll start heading home tomorrow, with my new 100kg broken radio.

[bloomingtrenz]

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[supercrusadeprince]

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