#no way this is happening but it would be heavily hilarious

[belong2human-kind]

Omg I always had seen how similar Sabine and Satine are but now I see how much more alike they are and how Ezra and Obi-Wan are also perfectly paralleled oh-

throwback to the time i made a powerpoint presentation to explain the differences between Satine and Sabine to my bff but never got to use it... anyway here it is, maybe you'll appreciate it

that's it, that's the powerpoint, i'm terrible at powerpoints

[monstas1ut]

Grown

NAMAMI KENTO x black!reader

Summary

__ black!reader is ravaged, stretched, and disciplined by her older side piece, Nanami Kento. there's no more "trying to work things out" with her boyfriend. not when this older, experienced man is fucking her raw.

Contains

__ size difference, thick reader, reader is cheating, impreg, raw dogging it, nanami smokes, oral fixation, sucking dick heavily, daddy <3, lots of teasing, almost caught

__ brown skin can be dark, light, medium color..whatever. brown is brown.. and it's gorgeous

__ a/n : not truly proof read(which means not really read by me a thousand times before posting. Sorry for any mistakes lol

Patience was a word that originated with the businessman well. There were many things that failed in his life, and yet patience is what drove him to success. It was a mere moral that he went by ever since that day. However, a sudden surge of intensity flowed through him like electricity. It began to nag at him every day, and it scratched at his insides.

It was an itch he somehow couldn’t reach.

It appeared overnight, and the itch would mentally drain him. He knew full well what the issue was, but saying it or admitting it would be his downfall. Everyday he’s tried to forget, shun, and or cause the thoughts to disappear. But he was losing patience with himself. It was hilarious really, but the funniest thing about it was that the root cause of all of this was… pussy.

As blunt and as pathetic as it sounded, the blonde knew all well that this was about pussy.

And this wasn’t any regular pussy.

It wasn’t just pussy.

It was your pussy.

The purest gold between your legs caused Nanami Kento to lose patience. Let’s not get it wrong, he knew he could have it on a silver platter. Nanami knew he could have it at his front door. The man knew he could have it on his balcony. But you were playing around a bit too much for him to snag you right back in. You’ve ignored his calls, avoided his messages, and you’ve surely blocked him from your socials. But this was all a facade and Nanami knew it.

You think a man as smart as him would fall for such nonsense? A few weeks ago you were just beneath him, begging, sobbing, and using that dreamy pussy to quench his thirst. You had no problem parting your legs for him, and you had little to no problem conjuring up a sore throat from giving him brain in his Rolls Royce.

That little boy who was your so-called “boyfriend” was surely the problem. And although you were in your twenties, and your boyfriend also happened to be the same age, Nanami was older. The experience flowed from him like water, and it showed in the ways he’d treat you. That boyfriend of yours was the problem. He showed little to no care towards you, and he’s the one who shacked up with another woman first. You just happened to retaliate a bit better. However you’ve now gotten back with him, and stopped contact with Nanami. That’s what was peeling at him day and night.

But the blonde was tired of games. It was all childish to him, and he’s a grown man with a grown ass dick, he has no time to waste. This was evident whilst he blew out the smoke from his cigar. The night was quiet and only the sound of a lame sitcom show in the background was able to be heard. The tv light glossed over Nanami’s large, weighty hand as it laid on your head. And the sloppy saliva and pre cum surrounded the base of his pole of a cock. The cigar in his hand was laid in the tray on the table near the couch, and he fully relaxed in his position.

“That seems better… Do you not miss it in your throat..?”

There was much tease behind each word, and frankly a load of annoyance. Nanami could contain his emotions well, but with the way he began gripping at your well glued frontal, you knew he was utterly pissed. His fist was full of body wave curls, and you were filled with his girthy cock. It was wrong, yes, but when he invited himself inside of your home and demanded answers, it came to this. There was no answer, you missed this. You wanted this.

You truly needed this.

“Tell me.” With the assertive tone that slipped from his lips, you stared up into his eyes, finally able to breathe as he pulled you off his drenched cock.

“Yes… I m-missed this big dick in my throat daddy..” you practically choked this out with a sob as your throat already felt the raspy tingles. Your lower face was covered in saliva and it was dripping from your chin. Nanami enjoyed seeing that, however he wanted to mess you up. He needed you to be absolutely helpless after this, so helpless and needy that it would be obvious that you got some dick.

“I would like to believe it.”

“I did!….I really really did..” you whined, knowing you sounded far from bratty, even though that was your frame. You were sassy, confident, and sometimes even bitchy, but here you were using your pretty plump lips to drain his cock as best as you could. Your hands were near the base of his cock as you twisted them lightly. Your head bobbed up and down and in a slight circle as your eyes gently rolled. There was something about sucking this man’s dick that made your pussy so profusely wet. You just enjoyed making it sloppy, and you also enjoyed when he’d moan.

Your soft gags are what gives nanami a surge of energy, it gives him a surge of dominance as he lets his head fall back on the back rest of the couch. He could feel one of your hands disappear and it be replaced with the feeling of your tight throat. You were going deeper and deeper just for him, and your throat could barely take it.

All he did was come here to your home for answers, it surely ended up in an argument, but then ended up in a different type of fight.. Now he was about to leave as a soon to be father because he just knew you were about to be knocked up. It was inevitable.

“Shit…” Nanami bit down, baring his teeth behind his lips as he looked down at your messy face. You drooled on his cock before quickly moving your hands up and down his cock. Your pretty brown breasts jiggled underneath your tank top as you did so, entertaining the male just as much as your pink, duck shaped acrylics that decorated his cock.

“Put it back in for me” Nanami’s voice was still stern, it always was, there was always authority running through it. It caused you to not think twice about anything, so of course you put his cock right back in your now slightly, sore throat.

“You listen to everything I say because you are so cock driven, so blank from the pleasure. Even if I demanded your body in front of your little boyfriend you’d still do it.. now wouldn’t you?”

No response, only your whimpers and half nods gave him his answer as you were drowning in the sexiest cock ever. The veins, the pink tip, the large filled balls that were hanging low from the audacity he held. This was no regular man, this was a grown man with only purpose.

His aura was far from plain, it gave off such strong power and confidence in his ability. This is what will cause a bratty girl to fall into the deep end, a grown man. A grown man with a certified big dick, and you could take it. This is why the blonde needed you. Pretty, confident, yet eager to become submissive towards him and him only. No woman would suck dick like this if they didn’t feel submissive.

The way you slurped it, the way you rubbed it on your cheeks before slipping it back in your mouth. Nanami enjoyed it so much that he felt himself slipping into a peak of excitement.

“You must crave my cum with the way you are acting, dear.” The man actually smirked at your state. He enjoyed seeing you this way. Your energy towards other men was a dominant force, hard to get, and more of a ‘hot girl’ as one would call it. It was quite funny when he’d look back on it, especially now.

His veiny hands, filled with pure strength, pulled gently at his tie. He slipped it off and began to undo his buttons on his blue dress shirt. One thing led to another in such simple fashion, and the older man pulled you from his cock, watching the saliva drip and string from your bottom lip. You looked all helpless and adorable… especially messy.

“I will give you what we both need. How’s that sound?” Nanami seemed genuine, and there was a part of him that truly was. But you doubted him the moment he clenched your hair again, his face moving down to hum in your ear.. “hm…?”

Swallowing the underlying fear of how sore your throat will be, you also felt how drenched you were becoming. “Yes sir…” you whispered, watching him move and straighten his posture as he stood before he gripped the base of his cock with his other hand.

You could see every detail of this man, and in this moment before he shoved his hard cock in your mouth, you could see that slight smirk at the corner of his mouth. His glasses were discarded before all of this even occurred, so you could fully see how his eyes even spoke of command. His blonde hair was intact, barely a hair out of place. His skin was airbrushed yet as well as having the sharpest jawline you’ve ever come across.

And this man adored you. He adored those sweet lips and he adored the brown sugary skin that would rub against him. He was far from using you, he was pouring into you. And with the way his cock was now thrusting into your throat, you knew that physically he was soon about to pour into you.

“Your little boyfriend will be coming soon is he not..? A shame that he’ll see you’ve craved my cock again. Maybe this will teach him to be a bit more faithful…” Nanami spoke in a matter of fact type of tone, fairly nonchalant as he watched the tears fall down your face from gagging on his third leg. You could feel it twitch and become harder right then, and you knew he was close to his peak… all of the pleasure you’d given him before hand really riled him up.

“And Maybe this will teach you to listen to me a little more” he actually grumbled that part as his hips moved back and forth, only gripping at your hair tighter to keep you in place. He couldn’t speak much longer without letting out a moan or a breath of air. He would give out firm groans, as well as deep breaths as he watched your pretty eyes roll back. That’s what did it.

It was as if a balloon popped in your mouth. The sudden, thick substance practically coated the back of your tongue, threatening to side down your throat. That’s before he pulled you off and let the rest of his salty sperm fall right on your gorgeous, brown, sun kissed face.

The sexiest thing about it was how willing and how far you’d let him go. His white, thick cum was mainly around your lips, but yet fell on your soft, fluffy eyelash extensions.

A little shaky sigh came from Nanami before he fully composed himself. The wave of pleasure was still passing over him, but he needed to release the rest of the energy you’ve given him. Ever since that nagging feeling hit him over the head, it’s felt like he’s been edging himself this entire time. He didn’t need to do that anymore, not when such a pretty, thick doll was in his possession.

“I think we both realize that I cannot just let you go. Your boyfriend may have had you back, but only for a bit of time. You’ve always known where home was… So come back to me..” nanami effortlessly picked you up from the floor, only fluttering your heart more as you were spoken to in such a dreamy manner. Your back gently touched the couch cushions, and you could truly see how much larger this man was towards you. His muscles ranged. They were large, thick, and far from simple. Each vein was quite prominent and it looked like you could cut them with a piece of paper.

“I won’t ask again, I will only do. And as far as I can recall, you enjoy being taken.”

What you hated was that the older man was correct. His ways of disciplining you, taking and fucking you were the first things you could think of in the morning, even while your boyfriend would be next to you. It was naughty, but it was the truth. That’s why you slowly nodded your head to his words, parting your lips.

“M’sorry…”

“Yes… Yes we both understand that. However, I’d rather see actions than hear words…”

Nanami teased, making sure to make you feel every emotion about this situation. Worry, disappointment, arousal, anger, submission. There were things you couldn’t explain but if you could explain this in one word it would be : ‘control’. Nanami was out of control, yet in control of everything he touched, especially you.

It was obvious in the way you slowly parted your legs, revealing your unfathomable vulnerability. The largest damp spot between your legs, it seeped through the thin, gray shorts that you wore to bed. Sucking Nanami’s cock was enough to do that, and he knew it. He could tell you enjoyed it very much.

“Good girl, lovely job. Actions speak louder than words do they not?”

While speaking such naughty words, the male let his head slowly fall in between your legs. The heat from your gentle pussy caressed him before he kissed the wet spot. “Usually I’d be gentle with you when you’re fairly good… but you’ve caused me to have the most intense lack of sleep.” Nanami huskily whispered as he trailed his rough hands up and down your juicy thigh. There was almost a soft smile on Nanami’s face as he could remember the times you have been good per say.

But today? His smile disappeared ever so slightly, and he gripped your legs before licking his lips. “Turn over.” He demanded as he helped you slide and turn to being on your knees. Those thin grey shorts rode up between your crack, so there’s no way nanami was going to rip them off, that was just extra time. What was better was him sliding them to the side. The soft smell intoxicated him as well..

“Good…” Nanami spoke like silk when he said this to you, and you felt like a feline in heat. All you saw was regret in your future, but you were still here with a nicely arched back. Your ass was large and it had Nanami flustered beyond belief every time he got to see it in its full glory. It was quite obvious how he felt about it, considering that’s the first thing he grabs when sliding in.

Nanami unfortunately didn’t have any remorse for you, and you were quite wet anyway. It’s not that you were being treated like a whore, he was simply treating you like his whore. There was a distinct difference.

And the second that fat, pink tip slipped past your dark lips and into your gushy pussy, you understood. Nothing came close to the feeling of him sliding in with ease, like a puzzle piece. He molded your pussy with his cock plenty of times, and that’s why it fell into place. Of course you were his whore, you were his only whore, that’s why he couldn’t let you go.

“Fits just right, I highly doubt he can fill my spot. You’ve had me for too long, y/n…” of course he had to tease you about it, his hands softly running around your hips and your ass. His thumb hooked on your shorts, holding them to the side so he could make sure to see that pretty pussy even more as he gently began to move his hips. This made him bury into you even more, and that made you want to tap out right then.

“N-..Nanami… ooh fuck~” you whispered this, and he could still hear you. And with his other hand on your lower back, he knew you were just losing it. The wetness from you coated his cock well, and it made it so slick that he slipped out. To be fair it surprised him a little, he’s a large man, and to squeeze and slip him out like that?

Oh you were undoubtedly wet.

“Put it back in, show me how badly you want it, love” there was a sweet softness to his words, and it was far from teasing this go around. He however, awaited you to do exactly what he asked of you. Luckily things didn’t have to get rowdy because you happily followed through with grabbing his pulsing cock. It throbbed, feeling like it almost had a heart beat before you slipped it back in easily.

The feeling was too strong and difficult to simply explain. The way elevator doors opened, the way water splashed through a river, both of those things mixed together explained the sensation at hand. And with each gasp, you felt yourself losing the thoughts completely.

That large pole began digging into you while you felt your mind slip. Nanami could see it in your body movements and the way you tried to release the arch in your back. However, he pushed the hand he had on your back, down. While arched even more, your pussy juices dripped onto the couch. Nanami enjoyed feeling every inch of your hole, as well as the lustful liquids you produced. Wearing a condom was far from what he wanted, and of course you wanted nothing to do with one either. Careless, yes… but he’s already established that he has to trap you some way or another.

This was a mission to knock you up. Nanami hadn’t thought about it until now. He’s completely changed his tune from annoyed to devious. As a grown man, sure he dislikes playing games but playing with you seemed to be the funnest thing he’s been a part of.

He was fucking a pretty babe with an ass so fat that it was as if it was hypnotizing him. The way it recoiled and jiggled for seconds later whenever it hit his pelvis. Or, when he’s pounding in it and it claps against him. Your back shots sounded like heavy office doors slamming, and that was quite loud. That mixed with the pleasant, precious sounds that released from you was golden.

“Daddy!… oh fuck-.. oh fuck daddy stop.. t-too much.. too much of that big fuckin’ dick~!” There was a soft lingering scream coming from you after you tried to talk through those moans. You could feel your insides clenched around that length of his, and you were so tight you didn’t even want to let him continue.

Nanami couldn’t have that, no. His hand forced your shorts fully to the side, stretching them with popping noises making it clear that he’s stretched them out. While doing that, his hands moved like butter to your waist and he leaned forward just a tad. But yet the way he hovered over you, it felt like you were being overtaken. Your chest was on the cushions, but your stomach was hovering. Your ass was perfectly high and your arch was a god’s gift.

“We can’t have that… open up for me.” Nanami sounded almost animalistic when asking you to open up. He wanted you to relax and simply take his cock till he cums. And you knew he wasn’t going to stop until then, which was obvious since he began to thrust more at a downward angle.

This angle was quite the difference, quite the contrast from before. This man was hitting a completely different part of your pussy, and he knew this. His smirk hesitated but stayed once you gripped and slightly tore at your soft couch. “please!?… please~?.. shit!” You breathed in sharply through your teeth, your pretty, glossy eyes rolling back with pleasure.

You were so consumed in the sex that you could barely hear any noise outside. There was a non literal window to the outside world and you were stuck being ripped in two by grown dick. The blonde man had his ways, and he was so physically and mentally powerful that he caused you to blatantly ignore the ringing of your phone and the firm knocks on the door.

It wasn’t rocket science to figure out who that was, and yet you couldn’t care. There were bigger things to worry about. Bigger, thicker and sexier things. Nanami happened to be just that, and he had your full attention and your full body.

“Your little boyfriend has arrived…” Nanami grinned this in your ear, and yet you spoke out something you thought you’d never say. The dick felt so good that you lost yourself for a while.

“I don’t care-.. fuck- I don’t fucking care daddy..”

“J-Just keep beatin’ my pussy up~” you slurred, moving your hands to open your pretty cheeks, revealing the tight hole the pale cock was inside of. Something Nanami could never get tired of..

“You do not have to inform me of that… inform him how badly you want me to ‘beat it up’ when I open that door myself.”

ⓒ Monstas1ut , Do not copy

[yuwuta]

JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS

head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn….. 

satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.

megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.

i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words. 

also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..

don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money 

nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)

[jameui]

SCHOOL RIVAL

PAIRING: Sim Jaeyun x M!Reader

GENRE: Smut, Angst, Fluff

WARNING: academic rivals to lovers trope, i got too lazy to proofread

SUMMARY: You find yourself who's as competent as you in terms of academic. So, what happens after one night you make love and fall in love?

You eyed your test paper once more, with your chest full of pride and your ego once more heavily fed, hearing the whispers of your classmates in the background saying you got the highest mark again. '99%', it said on your paper. Sure, you could have done better, but the fact that you have the biggest percentage is enough for you. You let out a sigh and patted yourself. "I did it again," You told yourself, proudly.

"Sim Jaeyun." The name made your ears ring, rolling your eyes in annoyance. The said male looked up from his phone and stood up to get his test results with a smile. He expressed his gratitude to the teacher and claims his test paper. He sat down first before he checked the mark written on the upper left side of the paper. He chuckles.

He turns on his chair and looks at you with that same boastful smirk riding on the edge of his lips. This can't be good, you thought to yourself. He picks up his test paper and showed you the result written on it. He points at it and mouths 'A hundred percent', which added fuel to your fire as you started to grip harder on your paper and gritted your teeth. "Congratulations, Mr. Sim on acing the test this time again," The teacher announced to which made the students clap their hands and cheer for the blonde male.

He winks at you in a teasing manner, his smirk growing wider at the sight of your reaction. "This will be the last, Sim," you threatened the male in a whisper, stabbing the younger male with multiple knives inside your head. That male just knew how to strike your nerve in the worst possible way. Jaeyun had always been the type of male to test your limits since the beginning of his transfer in the school.

Academically, Jaeyun or Jake, for short, always competed with you and he didn't even try to surpass you, because he always did. Even if you did your studies night to day, every hour, Jaeyun was always a step ahead of your every action. It's as though he's able to read your mind and he takes advantage to know your every move and hold you back down. It's almost like a neverending play of chess.

Right after classes, your classmates quickly made their way to Jake to congratulate him and patted him on the back for a job well done. Acting modest, he continued on saying he just got lucky, as per usual, and your classmates would simply praise him that he is just THAT smart. If he had to answer a 500-item pen and paper test, Jake would have still aced it.

Angrily, you hitch your bag over your shoulder and stood up almost immediately, dragging the chair which took the attention of your classmates. You clap your hands, in full sarcasm. "Always at the top, Sim. It makes my heart swell with pride as the class president," You stated with a faux smile, approaching the group. "Keep it up," You said, before placing a hand on Jake's shoulder and gives it a nice, painful pinch which made Jake scream and stand away from you. With a smirk on your face, you smugly looked at him and walked away without any sense of guilt.

"I'll fucking beat that knucklehead one day." You went on, cursing the Australian in your head. For once, all you wanted was to just speed up your way to the top. You always wished there is a shortcut to beating that blonde you've always loathed. One day, maybe not today, you'll make sure Jake regrets ever trying to compete with you. To the point where Jake will be on his knees, begging for your mercy. You chuckle smugly at the thought of it, finding it hilarious that Jake will soon be desperate.

You chugged down your sixth liter-bottle of beer and let out a sigh as you started to slur, your eyes barely open as you spoke. "You know, I don't even care if he's here. I'll speak about how much I hate him, even if it meant exchanging my life for it," you said, Jake hearing everything as one side of his lips lifted up casually and took a sip from his own drink,

witnessing everything. Starting from how you tried to deny the offer to drink, down to where you were already lifting bottles of beer to your mouth. He had to admit, he found it cute that you're being all drunk and still have it in you to express how much you despise him.

"I appreciate how you still think about me. Even when you're this drunk already, L/N." Jake wanted to see your reaction, so he tried to tease you as you knitted your brows and stood up. You approached him, not even able to walk straight, but still made it to him as the taller male looked at you with that expression of pride written all over his face, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Want to say something, Y/N?" He mocked you, you looked at him, dead in the eyes, before you're finally engulfed by a sudden wave of sleepiness and fell to the ground which shocked everyone, but the Australian.

He heaved out a sigh of relief, while he stood up and decided to pick you up, carrying you in his arm. "Don't worry, everyone. I'll make sure Y/N gets home safely," Jake stated and everyone, with furrowed brows, could only nod their head as the strong male bid them farewell with a reassuring smile and carried you out of the place and into his car's passenger seat, settling you down comfortably. "Oh god, you're so heavy." He hears you groan, your lips pushed forward into a pout, your brows meeting at the middle. He laughs softly at the sight.

When you're finally settled down, he puts your seatbelt on and made his way to his side of the car, whistling to a tune he always heard on the radio when he went to school. He didn't exactly find it his cup of tea, but it sure was a catchy one that his brain endlessly played like a broken record. Although, he knew you'd be the one who'll mostly like the song. You loved a little bit of classical jazz music in your playlist.

He knew you to well, all because he's been admiring you since the beginning. Since before the time you found him inferior and considered him as an academic rival. Especially the way you treated him on his first day. He didn't know anything about the place and froze in his place, standing idly, not knowing where to go even when he already had in his hand the school map. "Uh..." Jake uttered out, confused and looked around him. This didn't look like the school cafeteria at all. He looked back down at his map and scratched his head. "I think I'm lost," He said in a whisper.

"Oh?" He heard a voice start from behind him. It took his attention, averting his gaze from his towards you who seemed as confused as him. "Sim Jaeyun, right? The new kid," You asked him and the male nods his head in reply. You drew nearer to him with a smile, all the while asking him a question. "What are you doing here, all alone? Perhaps, lost?"

The used to be ravenette sighed and gave you another nod. "I am. I think. This map doesn't seem to be doing its work. I was trying to get to the cafeteria for lunch, but then look where it brought me," He answered, his brows knitted together a little in temperance. You managed to get a sight of the map he was using and noticed something a little funny to you.

"Well, it would also seem that what you're 'working on', is upside down," You td him with a small chuckle and adjusted the paper he held and turned it around. "There. That should do it." You let out a giggle, finding his antics a tad bit cute when he blushes red out if pure embarrassment. He couldn't even look at you in the eye. "Anyways, I was just headed to the cafeteria. Wanna join me?" You asked the other male, who simply nods for the third time of your interaction with him.

He knew he an just missed being able to communicate with you like that without being too cocky. Because since the time you began to see him as a rival to be at the top of the class, all he ever could think of doing is get on your nerves. He had to admit, the praises he received the first time he had a higher mark than you gave his ego a huge push to do better. But, that was his mistake. Weren't for that, you wouldn't have changed a thing and he wouldn't be stressing about the expectation of others.

Sure, he didn't have to make an effort to exceed, but he had his worst days as well. He's human after all. He literally overthinks about the simplest things. Sometimes, his instincts just seem to stop working when he's stumped or when he's not feeling well at all. He feels stupid after that and when that happens, he'd consider himself incompetent and dumb. Sometimes, he just wanted to seek for your help and bask in your warmth to calm him down. But, alas, the situation between you two is complicated snd immature.

He shakes his head to push the thoughts away and sighs through the holes of his nose, relaxing for a minute before he inserts his car key in and starts the engine up, but before he could even move his hand to maneuver, he feels a hand on his thigh. His eyes moved towards your hand, then to you and gets a shock when he realizes you are sobbing. "Y/N—"

"I hate you, Jake. I know I should," You commented and Jake just went all ears on what you have to say. Something must be troubling you that you had to break your bottled up emotions. "But, do I really? Or is it the fact that I get jealous when you get a little too close with other people? I should have been the only one who knew your wits. I should have been the only who knew you really well. It should have only been me," You stated which garnered a shocked look on Jake who couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did you just confess to him?

"I've liked you Jake. Since your transfer. That's why I treated you different than the others. I was so proud of you the first time you received a test result higher than mine," You said with a small smile on your face, yet tears still fell from your eyes. "But when others started to get too close to you, I wanted them to stop. That's why I tried to surpass you, so they wouldn't get too close, but you always did and it made me angry. Jealous." You looked up at him and your eyes locked together, both longing for something to satisfy their love deprived hearts.

You lift your hand up to feel the smooth skin of his face, caressing it gently. "I want to be the only one, Jake," You said, your eyes never leaving his hazel brown orbs. "I want you to just take me as yours." And it only took that for Jake to break, the both of you felt the visible tension between you two, before he quickly removes the seat belt you have on and desperately let both of your lips collide together as though longing for each other's heat.

Your faces moved in different positions to accommodate the sens of your kiss, a soft moan moved past your lips, the other male swallowing the noise down, which switched something inside of him. Something that unlocked hidden intentions inside of him. It wasn't that hard for Jake to suddenly take the lead as he pushed his tongue inside your wet cavern as he started to make your tongues dance in a rhythm only the both of you knew. He languidly moves his tongue inside you and made sure to have a taste of every corner of your mouth, as your eyes fell close, only focused in the heat of the moment.

After a few minutes, Jake was the first to pull away, resting his head on yours. "Did you want this, Y/N?" Jake smirks, wiping the tears from your cheeks, as you blushed and shyly nodded your head. "Wanna take this to my house, yeah?" Jake suggested, before he plants a small kiss on your forehead.

You hear him throw his car keys somewhere inside the room as he pulls you towards him and latch his lips onto yours which you accepted, before you push further to deepen the kiss. Jake sees this as an invitation as he sticks his tongue back in you to finish off what he started earlier and took no effort to link his with yours, which made the taller male smirk and you felt it all on the skin of your face.

Jake cups your face to hold you in place as he took back his lead and manages to do all the work, while you quickly tried to match his pace. A hefty laugh resonate from the Australian's throat, then pulls away earning a soft whimper from you at the loss of contact. "You're a bad kisser, Y/N. Did you know that?" One side of his lips curves upward into a smirk. "It doesn't matter. I could teach you all night," He said, before he takes your lips again to continue basking in your taste.

You pull down on the bottom of his shirt. Jake gives you time for a breather and looks straight at you like a predator to its prey. "T-Take it off," You told him, but the male was a tease and decided to make you look funny. He found it cute. He can't help it.

"Take what off?" Jake tilts his head to the side, feeling pretentious. You know he's teasing you, but you gave in to him. You completely willed to submit to him.

"Take your clothes off, please." You sounded like you were begging for something from the male and you are at this point. You wanted to see his piping hot body. The ones you've only seen in photos of others.

Jake laughs darkly. "Well, aren't you an impatient one. But, sure. If that's what my prince wants." The nickname makes you look up at him with your cheeks tinted red. Even in the darkness of the room Jake could see the blush on your face. He raises a brow and licks his lips. "You're a little shy after I called you—"

"Don't... say it, again," You told him. The other male gently lets go of you, as he takes your hand and presses on a switch that automatically turned the room bright red. "Where are you taking me?" You asked the male.

"Help me take my clothes off." The male suggested as he sat himself down on his bed, effortlessly placing you down his lap, your feet dangling on either side of his muscular thighs. You didn't know what to do with this man. He completely looks like he's been doing this for who knows how long. Suddenly, you find yourself overthinking.

He takes your attention when he takes your hand and placed your hand on his chest. He saw you frozen in place, then he leans his head forward towards you. Meanwhile, you tried to keep the distance between you two, but Jake pulls on your arm which forces you to move closer, an audible yelp coming out of your mouth. "I know you want to," Jake hissed, his words falling like venom.

You slowly looked at his body, then back up at him. Jake gave you a nod of approval and removes his grip on your hand to let you do your job on your own. Now that you've been given the chance, you didn't let it get away, but the same thought circled around your head. It's gotten worse in just a span of a minute that Jake noticed. The male halting his plays for a while and worries about you first.

"Something in your head, Y/N?" You're quickly snapped awake from your train of thoughts and raised your head to face him. "What's worrying you, hon? Care to tell? I don't mind listening for a while." He sounded really worried right now.

You shake your head in reply. "It's nothing. I just got distracted a little," You answered, but Jake didn't fully buy it. He knew something was bothering you.

The blonde pushes his hair back and sighed, propping himself back with his hand and uses the spare one to caress the side of your face. "Y/N, I can't just do anything while I know something's troubling you. It's just not right," Jake commented, his brows furrowed in concern. His hazel brown orbs were looking directly into your E/C ones. "Tell me what's bothering you," Jake gave you an encouraging smile.

You hesitated and gave it a little thought, your lips pursed. You opened your mouth to tell him what's om your mind. "How long have you been doing this? I mean, bringing men or women into your place for this kind of things?" You asked him, which sounded too arrogant, yet your sincerity seeped through your words. You are skeptical and you wanted assurance from Jake.

"I've never brought anyone into my house or anywhere at all. You'd be my first. If it helps, uh, it's a little embarrassing, but books. I learned how people gets turned on by words like that through the books I read," Jake scratched the back of his neck.

You raise him a brow and giggle. "What kind of books are you reading?" You ask him.

Jake finds this cute, that you're being curious about the things he likes to read, but decided to use it to tease you. "Do you want me to show you?"

"Will you?" You asked him, but Jake looks at you only with a smirk.

Jake lets out a soft chuckle, before his voice turns an octave lower as he drew closer to you and whispered into your ear. "I will, but not now. We still have a show to finish," Jake tells you and you immediately blush. You bury your head in the crook of his neck out of embarrassment. The laughter from the taller male reverberates through his thick skin as you nestled your head closer to him. "Stop acting shy now, Y/N. We were just getting started," he teases with a mocking laughter.

Jake takes initiative and starts creating marks on your exposed neck, which made you pull away and cover the part where it felt wet to you. You look at Jake, who only looked calm with a smile on his face. "Jake, what..." You let out in disbelief. "Just not somewhere that's not easy to hide,"

You hear a low chuckle from the other male. "Honey, this is fun and all, but I can't be doing all the wotk here," He said, the sound of his voice sending shivers down your spine, with every strand of hair on your skin standing om its end. "It's time you get on your knees and show me what you're made of, Y/N."

His voice didn't sound anything like the ones youd usually here at school. Where he's always too pitchy and happy-go-lucky, right now he's acting like a totally different person. If you were still drunk (which you still are, but just a bit), you wouldn't even think this was Jake you're paired up with.

You hear the sound of the bed shuffle which took your attention. You feel his hot breathe near your ear before he whispers. "Clock is ticking, L/N,"

You shyly nodded your head, you wished he won't notice just how flushed your face is getting with the way he's treating you. It's too sexy and too much of it might actually kill you. You started to move downwards, the bleach haired male's eyes lingering, watching your every move.

As you start to get down on your knees, Jake uses the moment to unbutton his button down shirt as though to coax you into doing more with him. It's his sign that he's getting excited, besides the growing bulge that formed a huge tent on his pants.

You looked up to see Jake gently eyeing you down, before he gave you a nod of approval, but your eyes fell down his well-built abdomen. You gulped as you felt yourself get hard at the sight. "Don't worry, prince. Everything you see is yours," You blush harder at his statement. "Now, get to work," his authoritative voice sounded less threatening and more calm. He's being gentle with you.

You took his dick out from its restraints, Jake biting his lips when he felt the cold air come in contact with his now exposed member. On instinct, Jake's hand find its way on top of your head, his head thrown back. He knows you're trying to teas him, but he'll just have to see how far you'll go until he finally had enough.

Jake lets out a silent sigh when he feels the wetness of your mouth start to revolve around the tip of his cock. "Ah, fuck..." Jake groans out in pure pleasure, a proud smirk glued itself onto his face, his fingers entangling themselves with your short H/C locks, turned on at he sight of you om your knees while you tried to fit his girth in both your hand and mouth.

He wouldn't say he had a big package, but it was a fuel to his ego to see you having a hard time to fit him all in. You tried to push your head down, but it felt like immediately making you gag as you pulled away. "Y-You're too big, Jake," you gave a comment, which only fed his ego more.

"There's no complaining when we're this far already, Y/N." Jake tried to make it seem that he's not flattered with the words that came out of your mouth. You complied to him and put his thick head back into your mouth, this time pushing him deeper into your wet cavern.

Jake's breathe hitched at the action, before you start to bob your head at a slow pace, trying to fit all that you can take of the foreigner's thick rod into your mouth. To you, Jake owned an unusual size for a dick, I mean, before you can even take him all in, you're already choking. You're not even halfway there yet.

You swallow around his cock which earned you a whistle from Jake who lets out a pleasured sigh, before you hear a low groan from above you, Jake stroking the roots of your hair slowly. "Didn't know you had a talent for sucking a cock good. Guess I just didn't see it in you," Jake smirks, using his feet nearest to your crotch to grope the outline of your own cock in your pants.

You let out a moan, muffled by the massive size of his cock in your mouth and the contact of his touch on your dick. The vibrations sends sensations down his cock, whilst Jake couldn't handle it any longer, the hand behind your head grabs a fistful of your hair before he thrusts his whole length in your mouth, forcing you to take all of his length. "I guess, I'll have to take matters into my own hands after all.

You immediately gagged, eyes widening in shock while you tried to get away from Jake, but the latter held you in place as though he didn't want to let you get away. Before you could even comprehend anything, he gives you a really rough start, as gagging noise came out of you mouth, your eyes rolling back to the back of your head.

Unconsciously, you've already wet your pants upon the pleasure of his force. "Fucking whore. You came because of that?" Jake laughs in a sinister manner, smirking proudly.

His pace was rigorous and didn't give you the chance to adjust, but without much of a choice you had to even if it takes you long enough before you grow accustomed to his movements and his massive cock. It isn't easy. After all, this is your first time... since the last time you had which was way back before you even stepped your second year in college.

Jake continued to fasten his pace, gritting his teeth as he just used you to become his personal fleshlight, groaning and moaning at the sensation he felt when his cock endlessly hit he back of your throat. Holy shit, Y/N. Your mouth.. hah, I fucking love your mouth. FUCK!" He lets out, his eyes shutting close when he gives your mouth one last strong thrust, moving oast your throat

You quickly choked, but immediately relaxed your gag reflex when you start to feel something warm flow down the tightness of your throat. Having no much choice, you chose to let Jake take control over you, giving up instantly to his command as you swallowed his cum, not wasting a single drop.

He thrusts a few more times to ride out his high, panting. He lets his cock rest in you for a while as you use your tongue to wipe him clean. "Shit..." Jake moves his hair back as he lets you do your own thing, his body falling back his bed.

Now that he's completely exposed, he casually just removes his pants that fell down his ankles after you were done with what you had to do.

You got back up to your feet, wiping your mouth. Jake, then remembers that you've completely soiled your pants because of his doing. He sat up and grabs something from the side of his table. It was a towel. "Let's get you cleaned up," Jake said with a much more kind tone to his voice.

He stands from his bed, still completely naked, except for the polo he was wearing. He held out a hand for you to take, which you did nd he guides you to his bathroom. "Let me know if you need anything, aight?" He told you, before he gives your cheek a kiss and leaves you to be on your own and closed the door, but then opens it again. "Or do you want me to shower with—"

"No! I mean, I'm okay on my own, Jake. Th-Thanks." You quickly cut him off, the male rising his hands in surrender and backs away as he closed the door. Once he disappears from your sight, you let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding. "What... What is happening?"

The teacher starts to talk right after he did a roll call, the students jotting down notes in their notebook as to not miss anything tht are being spoken by the teacher. It could come in handy at times, especially knowing that this specific teacher does not provide any kind of learning material for the students. Considering it as 'spoon feeding' which shouldn't be done since the students are already in college.

You and Jake, on the other hand, showed little to no attention to the lecture. One had a smile on his face after the scenario that had already lasted a few weeks. It carved a very special place in his heart and brain. The other was feeling anxious after the events that took place several nights prior to this day. He didn't know whether it was the fact that he completely showed how vulnerable and submissive he was or the fact that he and and the other have something more precious going on between them two and he decided to just keep it a secret for now. You being the latter.

Knowing Jake, he'd probably not even try to hide it. At least, he'll think he's trying, but end up making it seem a little obvious. Take this time right now for example, he'd be sending you sweet glances with no effort to even hide it and gives you a flying kiss. And, get this, he's sitting in front, while your seated at the back aisle.

"Mr. Sim Jaeyun." The mention of the male's name makes you flinch on your seat as Jake turns towards the teacher casually and smiles. "Can you please answer the question written on the board?"The teacher asks the blonde.

Without even reading the question, he shrugs his shoulders and shake his head. "Unfortunately, sir. I have not opened any of my notes last night. Not even a single one, but Mr. L/N may have an idea." The answer made everyone turn their attention towards you, your eyes growing wide as saucers. "Right, Mr. L/N?" You gave the male a look that asked him what in the world is he trying to do right now?

"Mr. L/N? You have been recommended by Mr. Sim. I suppose you have the answer, correct?" The teacher asked and your eyes focused on the question on the board. Jake laughing softly all the while.

You stood up from your seat, the room growing silent as they anticipate your answer. "Well, to answer the question and for clarification it suggests that you could only save one from two of the dying patients. One being a baby and the other a mother. In this case, in the matter of ethics, it's only logical to save the mother rather than what is unborn. It's plausible, since the mother has stored more values in them than what was yet to live. That.. that would be my answer, sir," You stated. Jake felt so proud of you, right now. "I'm sorry, sir. Can you please excuse me and Mr. Sim? I have important matters to speak with him," You asked for permission from the teacher who nods his head.

"Go ahead," The teacher answers you and you gave him a bow and moves towards Jake's desk and grabs him by the hand nd drags him outside wih you.

A good distance away from the room, you halt your steps and sigh. "Jake, what. The. Hell. You're not even trying to make it seem not obvious," You told the male who just chuckles and and shrugs. "Jake, please. I'm serious. You don't know what will happen if they found out that we're... that we're dating," You said meekly.

"Don't you like it?" Jake pouts. The one he knew you couldn't simply ignore. He knew because you told him that one night, which you find embarrassing now that you're completely sober. You looked away from him with a huff, the taller male only hanging his head low, akin to a dog who feels dejected.

You can't believe this guy. One minute, he acts tough and mighty while he tease you, and suddenly he's acting like a child in front of you. Is he being for real right now? "Jaeyun. You can't snake your way in again with that," You told him, but the male never faltered, making you roll your eyes, before you open your arms to embrace him. "Fine, I'll admit. That was pretty cute of you, but it will affect your final output if you keep pulling such stunts everytime you're asked. I'll get the chance to answer when it's my turn, okay?" You said.

Jake lifts his head a little to face you. You notice the small action and lean backward to see his eyes. They were red? Was he crying?! "Jake! What—I mean, why are you crying?" You asked him completely concerned.

"I thought you were going to hate me," Jake stated out through his tears which internally made your heart leap with joy. You couldn't help, but smile sweetly at him. You could see how much he truly cherished the relationship. He certainly did not want to lose you anytime now. We'll see what happens in the future.

You reached for his face and wiped the tears from his eyes that fell down his cheeks. You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Nothing could ever make me hate you, Jakey. Not unless you start throwing hands. For sure, I'll hate you," You told him and Jake immediately shakes his head as to say 'no', sniffing.

"I could never do that to you. I promise!" Jake cutely swears; even raised an arm up to symbolize he genuinely promised. "I would never do anything to hurt you, prince," he said, before he caress the top of your head with both of his hands and plants a kiss on top of your head. "'cause if I lose you, I'll be losing my world," Jake says something straight out of a novel, yet again. Ones you've read.

"Hey, stop quoting 'If I Ever Love Again'." You gave him a playful slap to the side of his arm and chuckled softly. You hear Jake do the same thing as you look up at him. "Thank you, Jake," You said to him, as to test him if he remembered the things you told him. That when you tell him 'thank you' it meant—

"I love you, too, Y/N. My prince," Jake replied with the sweetest smile riding his lips. "I'll never forget anything. Not even the smallest things," He said and booped your nose with his. You gave him a shy smile and just buried your face in his chest. "What a shy little prince you are."

[thatnewweeb]

Baby Fever | My Hero Academia

Characters | Bakugo Katsuki, Todoroki Shoto, Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Toya, Kirishima Eijiro

CW | mentions of pregnancy, suggestive content, reader agreeing to get pregnant, kinda jealousy in Bakugo's, kinda pressure in Midoriya's (from his mom) but also wanting it too

A/N | I love the idea of the boys having baby fever (even though not all of these are them having baby fever), I just think it's so cute

Bakugo Katsuki

Deku was having a kid?!

Katsuki was stunned as he held his phone to his ear, listening to his childhood friend and perpetual rival talking excitedly about the news his wife recently gave him. His grip tightens on the phone as he listens to the green haired man on the other side of the phone gushing about how excited he is.

As soon as Izuku hangs up, he calls out to you, his own wife. When you walk into the room, he walks over to you quickly, long strides leaving him stood very close to you, his arms caging you against the wall.

The look you give as you look up at him makes him smile softly, biting his lower lip a little. He tells you the news about Izuku's first child being on the way, which of course makes you excited, happy for your friends.

"We should have a baby too," he smirks slightly, whispering into your ear. When you give him a surprised, slightly confused look, he smirks, leaning down to kiss you. "C'mon, babe. I can't let that bastard get that far ahead of me. Gonna help me keep up?"

There's no way you could possibly say no when he speaks and looks at you like that. There's no time wasted in trying, him immediately taking you to your shared bed. He can't let that bastard Deku get too far ahead after all, can he?

Todoroki Shoto

Shoto was never really sure if he wanted to have a child or not. He didn't have the best childhood, and he was scared that he would end up being a bad parent.

He was still scared of that, he couldn't deny it, but when you're cuddling with him on the couch, watching television, he can't help but consider the idea whenever a child actor comes on the screen.

This weird feeling had been following him for months now. He found himself doing things he wouldn't usually, resting his hand on your stomach more when you're cuddling, imagining you clinging onto him, heavily pregnant and somehow looking more beautiful than ever.

He had no idea you were also having these thoughts. You hadn't brought it up because you knew he was a little hesitant about the idea. You figured you'd wait for him to bring up the topic first so he doesn't feel pressured, but now, every part of your being aching for a baby, you know you just can't wait any longer.

On one of his days off, you walk up to your fiancé and tell him to put a baby in you. The look on his face is both cute and hilarious. Despite how demanding your initial request was, the two of you sit and talk for a while, getting both of your feelings out there.

When you both agree that you both definitely want a baby, you decide you'll start trying as soon as the wedding is over.

Midoriya Izuku

It had been 4 months since you and Izuku had gotten married in a beautiful ceremony in front of your family and closest friends. Both your groom and your new mother-in-law cried a lot.

Speaking of Izuku's wonderful mother, you were visiting her one day, as you and your husband typically do at least once a week. You absolutely don't mind doing this, I mean it when I say Inko is wonderful, and that includes to you. She fully welcomed you into her little family.

"So, when am I getting a grandchild?"

The question comes out of nowhere, Izuku choking on the water he unfortunately happened to be drinking. "Mom!"

"What?" she asks with a smile. "You've been married for a little while now, surely that's the next step, right?"

Izuku laughs nervously, glancing at you briefly and squeezing your hand. "We don't know when that'll be happening yet."

The entirety of the rest of the time you spend at Inko's home that day, he can't take his mind off what his mom said. He hadn't really even thought about it since you got married, content with his life the way it is now. Now an idea has been planted in his head.

When you're back in the car, driving back to your own house, Izuku interrupts you while you're speaking (he didn't mean to, he was just so deep in thought that he didn't even realise you were talking). He asks if you want to have a baby, and it takes you almost no time to say you do.

Todoroki Toya

There's nothing you could think of that triggered your baby fever. You just wanted a baby, and you wanted one bad. You know your boyfriend will be a good dad, even if he doesn't seem to believe it.

He doesn't seem to believe that he has any kind of soft side. The big idiot obviously doesn't realise the way he acts with you, and you know that he'll be similar with your baby.

He wasn't even considering the idea before you brought it up to him. You weren't exactly subtle about it either, practically jumping on him and telling him to give you his baby. The demand shocks him, but there's something about hearing it come from your mouth that made him want it, made him feel like it would be okay for that to happen. He trusts you, and if that's what you think is best and what you want, he'll give you that.

There is no time wasted, Toya happily spending the rest of the night making sure that you'll get his baby as soon as possible.

Kirishima Eijiro

Eijiro has always liked kids, he thinks they're just adorable! How could he not like them? Being a pro hero means that there are so many children that look up to him, and it isn't an unusual occurrence for him to be swarmed by young fans while he's on patrol.

The baby fever really kicks in for him when a family of three come up to him while he's out on patrol, an excited baby babbling in his mother's arms as he reaches out towards the hero.

The baby's mother explains to him that he's her son's favourite hero. He always smiles and babbles and points whenever Red Riot is on television. It goes without saying that hearing that makes your boyfriend's soft heart melt.

As soon as they leave, he decides he'll have to bring this up with you as soon as he gets back to you. He's known for a while that he wants a baby, but after that reaction, he knows he has to bring it up to you.

Of course, he does bring it up to you very quickly when he gets home after patrol is over. It's pretty much the first thing he says to you when he walks through the door, picking you up and spinning you around when you agree to start trying. He wastes no time in starting to try for a baby with you.

[freak-accident419]

Good Tidings

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Josh barely have any time to yourselves due time traveling nonstop, trying to save the fate of humanity. However, being at the Futturman’s Christmas dinner party granted you two a fair amount of time.

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader (no genitals specified, it’s just vague penetration), cockwarming, lots of fluff, takes place during Future Man S1E6 “A Blowjob Before Dying”, too much shitty sex jokes n puns (im sorry) (not), giddy+silly+sweet love making, you think you are sooo fucking funny, more goofy than serious/lustful, you two are very much in love, more plot (high ass dialogue) than porn tbh

(A/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! Hope you enjoy this muahahaha and thank you all for your recent support! First smut written on this account, so be gentle with me please !)

-

You, Tiger, Wolf, and Josh were at the Futturman household, schedule disrupted due to the reluctance of Josh’s parents. They insisted that you all join them for their small Christmas dinner party. You were all sat down at the dining table, as well as the neighbors, Josh’s Uncle Barry, and Diane’s friend, Wanda (who was especially invited to perhaps keep Barry at bay).

While Tiger was mostly impatient and displeased with every mindless convo and laughter, talk revolved around several topics like DNA kits or Wolf’s strangely fascinating culinary.

You sat beside your boyfriend, Josh, slightly nervous about the time you were wasting. Ever since you’ve been dragged into the whole ‘Biotic Wars is real’ and ‘kill or be killed’ shit, you and Josh have been dealing with the worst, unimaginable shit ever. With the two of your adrenaline wearing off, you gradually processed everything that’s happened the past few days since you were never given a break. Hence the hand holding under the table as you two would seek comfort from one another.

But you attempted to distract yourself from the deaths you’ve witnessed and the near-death experiences you’ve had to your best ability by indulging in every conversation.

“Gabe, honey, tell them about—about the recent fishing trip we went on,” Josh’s mother, Diane encouraged to her husband with her sweet, achingly kind voice. You had so much respect for Josh’s parents, so it was pretty easy for you all to hit it off well. They loved you. In fact, they were heavily relieved that Josh had finally found someone, let alone someone as amazing as you.

Gabe let out a hearty chuckle as he prepared himself to tell the table his story.

“So, a couple of days ago, Diane and I went on a small fishing trip. And I remembered an old trick back in the day that attracted a lot of trout,” he explained as you picked up your glass of wine, sipping some generously. Diane smiled at him with a nod as he continued. “One of the very efficient ways to go about fish bait is blowing worms.”

You choke on your wine, holding in a laugh, coughing a bit instead as Josh looks at you with a knowing smile. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying not to grin too widely. Did you hear that right?

“Blowing worms,” Gabe repeated, getting a confined chuckle out of you and Josh. “You inflate the worms with air, which makes them float instead of having your bait be at the very bottom. It’s perfect, especially near the winter time. Worked like a charm.”

“Ohh,” you gasp in wonder. You chuckle to yourself before you spontaneously say, “Yeah, actually, I think I did do that a few times. Blew a-a worm.”

You looked at Josh, thinking you were being hilarious, but he looked at you with surprised eyes and parted lips of shock that slowly transitioned into a smile.

“Really?” Josh’s father expressed with intrigue. “I didn’t even know you fish. You have someone teach you that method, or—”

“Oh, no, Mr. Futturman, I,” you speak as you occasionally switch from looking at him to Josh. “I think it’s a very popular method. It’s a pretty natural instinct, you know? Blowing worms, that is.”

“Wow, really? Always thought it was an old-fashioned sort of thing.”

“Nah, far from old-fashioned, it’s almost contemptuous!”

You did pretty well at suppressing your laughter, because you sounded really earnest. Josh covered his mouth, amused by your subtle humor.

“Joshy, we didn’t know that Y/n likes fishing. We could’ve taken them on our trip. In fact, we could’ve all went,” Diane suggests as she looked at Josh and then you.

It was like everyone at the table was blind to your immature, yet humorous implication. Except, of course, your boyfriend.

“Oh, no worries, Mrs. Futturman,” you insisted kindly. “I don’t usually fish. Plus, blowing worms can be very exhausting.”

“Y/n—” Josh reacted, but interrupted himself with a suppressed laugh.

“You think so?” Mr. Futturman raised an eyebrow. “I just stick a syringe in them, inflate it, and bam, it’s all thick and ready to g—”

You and Josh burst out laughing, holding onto the table and each other. You swore there were slight tears coming out of your eyes as both of your faces were red. You felt overjoyed to feel happiness and delight for the first time ever since your involvement in the mission. And you felt even more glad that it was your boyfriend that you fooled around with.

“Sorry, sorry,” Josh says after his laughter died down as the entire table was confused. “I just—We just thought about a, um, moment when—Um… Actually, Y/n and I did go fishing once. Isn’t that—isn’t that right?”

You nod and go along with it, detaining your giggles.

“Well, anyways, we actually did that method, and yeah, you’re right, it works like a charm!” He exclaimed with joy as his parents smile at him with approval and pride.

“Bet the worm was pretty small, huh?” Tiger jumped in wittily, however, in a coldly nonchalant manner.

“And pathetic!” Wolf blurted.

“Hey, even if that might’ve been true—might’ve—it-it probably had a personality, you know?” He reckoned with a shrug, making you laugh again.

***

“You are—are fucking terrible, you know that?” Josh quickly muttered under his breath as you two continued to kiss each other deeply on his bed. “Those were my parents.”

“C’mon, baby, admit it, it was comedy gold,” you giggle, pressing your lips to his once more by tugging his black, skinny necktie towards you as you remained sitting on his lap.

The dinner party was still going on downstairs. After a long time of looking at each other longingly at the table, you two decided to excuse yourselves in order to “prepare gifts for Josh’s coworkers that he forgotten to wrap” in his room.

When you guys rushed in his room, you couldn’t take your hands off each other, immediately making out once the door was locked. However, you then had to close all his blinds before you met him back on the bed. This wasn’t new to you, none of it was. The soft, warm orange that his room’s light emitted strangely comforted you, as well as being back on his soft, spacey mattress.

Was it a good idea to leave Tiger and Wolf alone with Josh’s family and company? Probably not. But you’ve taught them enough shit. They tolerate Josh’s parents, so why not a few other guests as well? And you’ll only be gone for no longer than five minutes, you’d hoped.

You bring your hands to his pants, attempting to unbuckle his belt. “Shit—What the—What the fuck is this?” You grumble, Josh laughing at you as you struggle.

“I think it’s—” He giggled, bringing his own hands to his belt, trying to remove it, pulling. “I think it’s stuck.”

“What the shit?” You wheeze. “Fuckin’—Fuckin’ cock block!” You continue to mess with the belt, trying your best to unbuckle it.

“Wait, you—you’re almost there, you—”

“Oh my god! Holy shit! I got it!” You let out a surprised gasp, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants right after.

“Oh shit! Flawless victory!” He exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks, looking back up at him.

“You did not just quote Mortal Kombat because I successfully unbuckled your belt,” you raise an eyebrow, nevertheless amused by his dorkiness.

“Maybe,” he answered smugly.

“You’re lucky I am in love with you, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let that slide,” you chuckle.

“Oh, come on. You’d love my video game references either way,” he insisted.

“I’m serious, Josh, the amount of things I’ve let slide because I love you is kind of crazy. Let me just say, I am so glad I met you after the ‘apple juice’ incident that Ray told me about.”

“Ray told you about that?”

“He told me a lot of things. Mostly the embarrassing things. I think he wanted to freak me out, you know? Always thought I was too good for you.”

You pulled his pants off, throwing it carelessly down on the floor. Your lips attached once more as he snickered as you then cupped his face with your warm hands. You look at your lover, his big, brown, desperate eyes looking at you with utmost adoration. “Well, jokes on him, he was entirely wrong. You are so good to me, you know that?”

He smiles at you softly, and you could sense how flustered he felt to hear that (the blushing patently gave it away). “You’re the one who’s been on my side since forever. Even when you got involved in all this shit that you didn’t even have to be in. You-You could’ve called me crazy, and-and broken up with me, but you believed me and stayed by my side, even knowing that things were gonna get dirty. And they did, get really dirty.” Rest in peace Janis and Carl? Or, rather, die, you evil perf-cocks? Eh, doesn’t fucking matter. “You’re so good for me, sometimes I can’t believe you’re even real.”

You giggle sweetly as you give him another kiss, a quiet smack caused by your lips deftly leaving his own to speak. “Well, I’m here and I’m real, and I’ll always be there for you, baby,” you reassure. You were perfect for him. Indefinitely.

He smiled blissfully. “I love you so much.”

You two made out passionately until you were laying under him, the lower halves of your bodies bare as you discarded the necessary clothes.

“Do you think your parents and everyone else knew about the worm thing or are they just that… I don’t know… clueless?” You asked endearingly under your breath as your fingers entangle in his soft, brown hair.

“Hmm. Possibly,” he reckons, raising his eyebrows as he thought about it. “That was still kind of evil of you, though.”

“Me, personally, I thought it was hilarious.”

“Blowing worms?”

“C’mon, your father set himself up for that.”

“Tiger called it small,” he muttered lamentably. “And Wolf said it was pathetic.”

“Jeez, whatever happened to personality?” You chuckle softly.

He sighed. “They still sort of called me out.”

“Shut up. It’s average, to say the least. Doesn’t matter either way, you’re enough.”

“But—”

“Josh, if it bothers you this much, then just prove them wrong right now,” you reply with a laugh.

“As in—?”

“Josh, c’mon, we don’t have time anyways. They’re expecting us any minute because of that shitty made-up story excuse. I love foreplay, dude, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t acknowledge the time at all. Quickies are definitely not our cup of tea. Y—” Your breath hitched as you felt his tip prod at your sensitive entrance. He gave you a soft, comforting kiss on the nose. You looked into each other’s eyes deeply, then your lips crashed into each other’s as the two of you stifled your moans once Josh finally thrusted in.

“Y-You know you’re p-perfect just the—mm—way you are, right?” You ask gently, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He smiled at this, kissing your lips once more, beginning to move. Your heart fluttered each second you felt him thrust in and out, slightly and satisfyingly stretching you. His hips moved quite skillfully, but also slightly clumsily, which was nonetheless admirable.

Your usual soft moans and gasps would be replaced by stifled grunts and sighs, due to the company downstairs. As much as you wanted the whole world to know that Josh Futturman was yours and only yours, you also had dignity—plus, it was his goddamn parents downstairs.

You giggled as you felt his nose against yours each rough kiss. “Y-You know, however, I think the only complaint I have about you is the fact that you hate Super Mario Bros.” You point out with a chuckle.

“Y/n, in my—agh—defense, it literally makes no sense. Like, why would there be pipes that are—”

“Okay, why rely solely on logic and rationality, hm, Futturman? I thought video games were all about escape. It’s all just harmless fun.”

“Yeah, well, I’m much more into games with thought-out plots and challenges,” he remarked, making you roll your eyes playfully. “Anyways, it pretty much just got ruined for me even more when Tracy at the video game store talked about Luigi having a very hairy, Italian cock.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Baby, I love you. However, your goddamn dick is currently inside of me. Please do not talk about Luigi’s theoretic hairy penis.”

“Noted,” he assents, going back to kissing you passionately, while moving slowly inside of you, yet deeper with each thrust. You let out a quiet, pleasured gasp as you felt him fill you perfectly, his hands lovingly gripping your waist to keep you still.

Your eyes closed as you indulged in the feeling of his gentle thrusts, him peppering kisses on your neck, softly chuckling under his breath. He guessed he was still in disbelief that he had someone as amazing as you.

“I… I still can’t believe someone as perfect as you would ever go out with a loser like me,” he scoffed, pressing more kisses against your neck and jaw.

“Hey, seriously?” You frown, holding his face in your hands once more, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are… a lot of things, Josh. But a loser isn’t one of them. Okay? You are so kind and funny and caring and thoughtful a-and—m-mm—amazing i-in general.”

“I—Fuck. I—I don’t deserve you,” he panted.

“J-Jesus Christ, sh-shut your fuckin’ rathole. Yes you do, baby. You deserve me as much as I deserve you.”

It was becoming harder to focus on your words as you continued to feel an increased sensation and pleasure as his thrusts quicken and falter. You let out a small gasp as you tense things up by wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him in even deeper. You two had been speaking and giggling to each other constantly that you didn’t even notice the lewd, wet, slapping against the skin that came from each heavy thrust. Josh grabbed one of your hands, interlocking your fingers tightly on the mattress beside your head.

“J-Josh, I—” You begin breathlessly.

“I know, me too,” he grunts as soft, inaudible whimpers and whines leave his lips while the movement of his hips stuttered. His rhythm was becoming unsteady, but it was also increasing in speed. “I—Y/n, f-fuck, I’m c—”

“Sh-shit, baby, I—” You pant as you felt closer and closer over the edge, every mere feeling increasing your stimulation. You bring your hand to cover your mouth and suppress any loud moans as you finally released, the knot in your stomach undoing itself as you sigh afterwards once your hand left your mouth. Josh came exactly right after you as his hips jolted for the final time, spilling his warm, white seed inside of you, burying his face in your neck to muffle a high-pitched grunt and acute whines.

You two were breathing heavily, kissing each other’s lips softly and lovingly after you both came down from your high. You two never moved from your position, still fragile and sore. Josh caressed the side of your waist under your shirt, his head resting in your neck as you moved your hand to play with his hair, holding him in your arms.

“This is probably the only time we’ll have together alone before we have to continue with the damn mission,” you figured, tangling his strands of hair in between your fingers.

“It’s bullshit,” he mumbles, his thumb continuing to rub your waist.

“Enjoy the moment while we can?” You suggested with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed dejectedly.

A beat.

“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing, I just… I like it whenever you’re inside of me,” you comment softly. This was probably the most affectionately vulnerable and honest you have been with him. Your tone lacked any intention for humor or lust; you were genuine.

He lifted his head up from your neck. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know. It just feels right. You know, as if you were, like, made for me exactly,” you whispered lovesickly, looking down at his sweet, plump lips to his profound, gorgeous brown eyes. “I wanna stay like this a little longer. You’re so perfect for me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing your lips soothingly.

Then suddenly,

“Futturman! L/n! Get out of there, we gotta go now! Operation Cameronium!” Tiger called from the other side of the door. “Goddamnit. The fucking—tiny man—baby thing—is, just, really starting to piss me off. Let’s go!”

You and Josh looked at each other for a while in silence before bursting out into laughter.

“We-we better go before she considers murdering little baby Wallace,” you suggest with a soft smile.

“Yeah… Wait. Do you really think—”

“No…” You answer before he could finish his sentence. “I know she seems all stoic on the outside, but I feel like the past few days, she changed a bit. Empathy-wise. Slightly, at the very least.” Josh nods.

“I’m really gonna miss this,” he sighs.

“Me too. But don’t worry, once we fix everything, we have all the time in the world together,” you assert.

“Okay,” he smiles sweetly, kissing your lips before slowly pulling out of you, leaving you to feel empty and slightly bummed.

The two of you, with your clothes back on and hair quickly fixed, you waltzed downstairs with no problem. Your hands had been interlocked, faces a bit flushed as you smile to yourselves.

“You two sure look happy,” Diane expresses joyfully. “You really got into the Christmas spirit, wrapping all those gifts upstairs, huh?”

You giggled under your breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely, Mrs. Futturman. Uh, very much so. I really love Christmas, you know? The gift wrapping Joshy and I did upstairs and, you know, all the Christmas traditions. ‘Specially, ‘specially the yule log.” You look at Josh with a knowing grin as he just listened in, suspecting nothing at all. “Really makes you feel warm inside, am I right?”

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part One

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Hey! First time writing for Em so I figured I'd use a side account and see how it went? Honestly this is a whole series in my mind so might add onto this first part soon! An oc character but can be read as a reader insert if you prefer:)

Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

Warnings: Lots of swearing, dark humour

Masterlist

I was mortified.

More so than I’d probably ever been, in truth. All because of a stupid video that had been taken a couple of years back when I’d had one drink too many on a holiday I’d always dreamt of.

To be fair though, the majority of the blame lied heavily on my younger sister’s shoulders, who’d found the stupid thing whilst reminiscing through old memories and thought it would be hilarious to post online. Forgetting about the millions of fans who would soon see it– and not just mine, it would seem.

No, because that just wasn’t how the internet worked, was it? And when a newly nominated artist, who had only been in the game for a couple years, was filmed rapping an old noughties classic instead of singing like expected, it was basically bound to go viral. Didn’t help that I was a Londoner through and through and had the accent to prove it, making the whole video that much harder to watch. In truth, I continued to cringe each time I was reminded of it, which was practically anytime I opened up social media or witnessed the guilty expression that continued to mar my sister’s face.

“Stop doing that.” I huffed at her later on when the worst of it still continued to storm on, almost whining actually as I looked away from my phone screen and down at the food I wasn’t really eating, just picking at. I was supposed to be mad, infuriated even, but it was proving to be a fucking chore when she kept on looking at me like that.

“Doing what?” Lottie retorted, not even attempting to wipe the culpable look from off of her face. She was currently residing back at mum’s now, seeing as how she had school and I’d only just landed back home, but I’d give it a day before she was back here again. My flight over had been strenuous, it always was when flying to and from Cali, but still I made time for her– even after the most recent stunt she had gone and pulled.

“Don’t do that either.” 

I’d meant to sound scolding but the soft laugh that escaped me truly was accidental. I couldn’t quite help it, I knew that being mad at her wouldn’t solve anything now and that she hadn’t really meant any harm by posting the video. That was just the type of person she was, she acted before she thought things through and didn’t ever think much for the consequences. Then again, she was still only fourteen and her putting the drunken moment on her Instagram story had just been one of those sibling type moments, the kind where you’d rip the piss out of one another simply because you could.

“I mean it, Lotts.” I sighed around the words, eyes flitting back to the screen and the way she was chewing on her lower lip. “It’s being sorted and, I don't know, I guess it’ll die down sooner or later. Mila reckons so anyway. We’ll give it a day or two, hey?”

A day or two did pass. And no such thing happened.

I’d been cooped up at home ever since I’d touched down at Heathrow, having jumped in the first cab available and fallen asleep the second I’d gotten in through the door. I’d been working out in LA for a couple weeks with a few other writers, just messing about with new sounds and ideas for the next album I eventually wanted to release. So I hadn’t been witness to the media catastrophe Lottie had created until later the next afternoon when Mila, my manager, had all but mowed down my front door, having called my phone three dozen times and gotten a guy she was currently seeing in the city to come buzz my intercom. It had been a wake up call and a half to say the least.

Still, she had assumed it would all die down fairly quickly, went as far to say that it could do wonders for my career– even with me being visibly tipsy– after having had the absolute gall to say that I hadn’t sounded half as bad as I thought I did. I’d cackled hysterically into the phone at that, then had somewhat of a meltdown, in utter disbelief over the apparent reaction she claimed the video had gone and garnered. Because I was absolutely not looking. Knew that if I did there would be too large a chance that I’d check myself into the nearest psychiatric unit. 

But as I said, a couple of days had passed and typically something like this would have eventually blown over when the next big story hit the headlines. White girl can spit a verse, who cared? Only then the VMA’s had happened and shit hit the fucking fan.

I hadn’t attended, shit like that had always irked me. I could perform in front of a crowd of thousands and step off feeling as high as a kite, but stick me on a carpet and force me to interact with cameras, questions, and people? That was where I drew the line.

At the start, I had tried. I’d been new on the scene and people had reasoned that I would just end up being another one hit wonder, so the label had figured it best if I got myself out there, if only to interact with other artists and producers in similar circles.

It had gone down a treat– like a cake being knocked over at the wedding of the year. Maybe even worse. I didn’t like to linger too long on it.

But I’d tried again and again afterwards, although it had only proven to worsen my mood each time and forced me to retreat, avoiding my team and the responsibilities I had lined up for a short while after. It was only following a particularly uncomfortable night that Mila had called it quits and had a contract drawn up stating that I only had to attend a certain amount of events a year. It had been at that moment that I’d realised just how fucked I would have been in this industry without her.

Even so, life still continued on without me and the VMA’s were just another show I would be mostly avoiding, only making a statement at the end of the night online for the nominations I’d been gifted.

It was around midnight when I heard the scream.

Lottie was staying with me, typical for whenever I was back in London for a few weeks at a time, and so I’d felt my heart literally drop to my feet at the very sound of her screech and legged it across the entirety of the house. At first, I’d thought she’d slipped and fallen, maybe cracked her head open on a counter. And then the thought of an intruder had crossed my mind whilst I’d gone skidding over the landing. So anyone could understand why I was so worked up when I finally threw open her bedroom door only to find her simply sat there on her phone, hand covering her mouth.

“What the hell is your problem? It’s just gone twelve, Lottie! I thought something had happened!” I rebuked her, chest heaving as I dropped the heavy bookend I’d managed to pick up somewhere on my way over down onto her desk. “Shit.”

Her eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them though when I finally did get around to catching my breath and chanced another glance back at her.

“I was literally just about to fall asleep.” Which really meant that I’d been getting into bed to scroll through my phone or read a book when I’d heard her shout. “Then you screamed as though Freddy Krueger was stood at your window.”

“Elia.” 

I blinked, Lottie rarely did that, used my entire name and not the usual shortened version or whatever other epithet that came to mind– and truly, there was a large variety, the shit I’d heard this kid come out with was insane. But I shook my head at the thought and quirked a brow at her. “What? Did someone die?”

“No,” She answered me, dropping her hand away from her face even though her jaw was still gaping, “But I just might.”

Rolling my eyes at the theatrics, I exhaled and walked over to slump on the end of her bed, figuring that something had happened between her and one of her friends, or maybe some lad she might’ve been speaking to. “And it deserved a scream like that? Honestly Lotts, just be thankful this place doesn’t have any neighbours listening in through the walls.” I told her, thinking back to my own adolescent years and the woman in the flat beside ours, “We’d have someone knocking at the door in under a half hour.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes then as she scoffed at me– like I was the one being dramatic here– before she then shook her head and shuffled hurriedly over the mattress to sit closer. “No Lia, just listen, look.”

Confused, I sighed and tilted my head when Lottie moved to shove her mobile in my face. I squinted at the sudden contrast, showing off my age and the horrific tragedy that was my eyesight, and tried to make sense of whatever it was that she was so hellbent on showing me. 

From what I could first make out, it was just a Twitter thread, but then Lotts then clicked on the main video at the top. I waited as the clip buffered for a second, then a familiar face panned into focus and I felt my brow furrow. I peered over at Lottie for a split second before her eyes were widening in retort and she gestured her chin back towards the screen.

I narrowed my own eyes in turn, but watched on.

It had to be a coincidence, I reasoned. That of all people it was him that Lottie was currently showing me.

“Well, aren’t we in for a show tonight! Eminem is in the house, people!” An interviewer started, she was a tall, leggy blonde who held a too big microphone too close to her chin. “How are you feeling?”

I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was to see him on the VMA’s carpet, not after the comeback he’d made late last year with LP 2, but I was, eyes caught on the bleached buzz cut he’d since reverted back to for the album’s release. Fuck, I’d be so pissed if it came out that he was performing tonight and I’d gone ahead and missed it.

Lottie thumped my shoulder, hard, realising fairly quickly that I hadn’t really been listening, and so I scowled in retort but gritted my teeth to keep from thumping her right back. She might’ve been my sister, but I had well over a decade on the kid and was marginally her guardian, just not in writing.

The rapper had seemingly just finished commenting on a question the tall blonde had asked him and so I forced myself to pay closer attention, brain whirling as I wondered what could have possibly been so important that it had Lottie screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.

“I feel that!” The woman practically beamed at the rapper, head nodding along to whatever he’d just said, “But it’s good to hear that you’re enjoying being back. In truth, I wasn’t sure I’d catch you here tonight, there’s been a lot of buzz surrounding you at the moment and not just because of the album!”

My heart stuttered in my chest. Actually, I was pretty sure it had gone and fallen out of my arse, especially when the interviewer continued to press on the topic and it appeared as though the man in question understood exactly what she was getting at. His stoic facade cracked just a tad and– there! A smirk. An ever so slight crook of his mouth. I shot a startled glance over at Lottie but her gaze was fixated on the screen.

“I mean, have you seen it?” The interviewer prompted whilst he simply stood there, fisted hands clasped before him. No sign of the split second curve he’d just had on his lips. “The whole world’s been wondering about your thoughts on the singer!”

And there it was.

“I can’t,” I started to say, turning away from the phone just as a rush of nausea flooded through me, but Lottie held strong, hand coming up to catch my shoulder so that she could position her phone back in my eyeline. “Lottie–” I tried. Please.

“Just listen.” She persisted, face so serious.

Immediately I wanted to rescind my earlier statement. This was now my most mortifying moment. In fact, I wanted to hide in the nearest cupboard and never come out again. How the fuck was I going to show my face in public, not to mention at the next event, after this?

I swallowed thickly, entirely unprepared to hear a word he had to say about me. I mean, who would be? This man was leagues above a majority of the industry, me included. Never had I ever even thought that he could hear my name in passing, let alone listen to one of my songs playing in some shop he was coincidentally in or a random radio station. But here he now was, rolling his lips as he pondered over a question which concerned that stupid fucking video. 

“I hate you.” I whispered at Lottie, mostly in hopes to cover up whatever he was about to say, but also because I was embarrassed beyond belief. And this was all her fault.

In the time spent since the drunken video had first gone up and now, I had yet to even think about him ever seeing it. Because the idea was that far fetched. But this was me, so of course he had.

“I’ve heard it.” Marshall confirmed, his head dipped in a barely there nod. My throat cinched. I wondered briefly how quickly I’d be able to tie myself a noose.

“And?” The woman prodded and internally I cursed her future bloodline, hoping that she'd somehow spawn the next antichrist or that her grandchild would become a shit-headed politician.

The man in question merely hummed, hollowing out his cheeks. “I was surprised, I have to admit. But she’s good, even when wasted.”

“I wasn’t fucking wasted!” 

I hadn't even realised I’d spoken out loud until Lottie snorted on a chuckle. I turned towards her, brows raised high, “What? I wasn’t. You were there!”

I rolled my eyes when she didn’t deign me with some sort of assent but my head snapped back over to where she still gripped the phone when I heard him speak again, his voice echoing throughout the quiet bedroom.

“Then again, her shit goes hard. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.”

That heart of mine that I kept on talking about? Yeah, I had zero clue as to what the fuck was going on with it now, only that my chest was wound as tight as it possibly could be and my eyes stung as I withheld the urge to even blink.

“You’re a fan?” The woman asked him, appearing genuinely surprised by the notion, even though it sounded more like a declaration rather than the question it was.

Marshall hummed, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder when a group shuffled on past them, disrupting the interview. It didn’t deter the woman though and I couldn’t blame her, no matter how much it pained me.

“So, could this mean we’ll be seeing a new featured artist on whatever you put out next?”

I made some sort of inhuman sound at that, but barely moved a muscle. And then I all but shutdown when the rapper's wide eyes flickered over to peer straight into the camera’s lens, “I mean, if she’s down.”

The next scream that was emitted once again came from Lottie, but I couldn’t think to scold her for it, not when I was hardly even functioning and wanted to implode myself. 

The girl toppled over onto me, shaking my shoulders whilst she squealed unabashedly. “If. She’s. Down!” She repeated, squealing with excitement, “El, this is insane! How are you not screaming too?”

The air I forced from my lungs came out in a breathless chuckle as I clung to the forearm that was still wrapped around my collar. In truth, I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to react. 

“Figure you’ve screamed enough for the both of us.” I replied faintly, not really thinking but somehow managing to carry on, mostly out of sheer shock. I glanced her way, “I feel a bit sick.”

Lottie just shook me harder and when we eventually went falling down onto the duvet in a mess of limbs I wondered what I was going to do with the knowledge that I’d just been given. God. He knew who I was. The shock of it was almost like reliving my first time on stage all over again.

That night I ended up listening to Lottie rant on and on for a good while after whilst she scrolled through her Twitter feed and the rest of the internet. Mila eventually intervened, calling after having seen it too, and was as smug as ever. “Told you.” She’d said the second I’d hit the answer button and I hadn’t had the heart to play it off or act as though I hadn’t seen it either. 

After the interview eventually finished trending and stopped being posted here, there, and everywhere, I was left with a flow of new followers but also a nightmare of opinions spouting from every corner of the planet on any comment section I had to offer. I forced myself to come off most apps I had downloaded after that and resorted to gaining my daily entertainment, and any real news, from Lottie. Which seemed sad, in retrospect, but honestly? It was more than a little self-serving and I’d even managed to get a shit load of stuff done.

I worked on a couple new songs, sticking to what I did best, but my mind did end up drifting away every so often, back to a conversation I’d had with Mila and Travis at the label a couple days after the media storm had passed. It seemed they all wanted me to try implementing a few new concepts into the music I was currently working on before we started to draw up ideas for the next album. Travis reasoned that even attempting to add a couple freestyles into the motions whilst I went about writing would do me wonders later on. 

I just felt uncomfortable with it all, really. I’d never been a rapper. I mean, I loved it. It was mainly what I’d been brought up on, having grown up in an area where every kid on the estate was either attempting to become the next big thing or just blaring the biggest hits out of their car stereos. But that was just it. I listened and sang along, had even built up an extensive collection which I was immensely proud of, but the label were now aiming for this next album to make it onto a Grammy nominations list. It was all they had been fretting over since I’d somehow managed to chart the last one– although a single number one and an almost throw away making it to number seven didn’t make me all that hopeful. 

Even so, it forced me to wonder how it would all work if I started to switch things up now. I could appreciate all genres but I didn’t wanna become the next hopper just to appease the people yessing me and then fall off.

The entire concept had me confused and so I had taken to keeping my head down for a while longer.

Lottie had headed back to mum’s earlier that morning, seeing as I was due to make an appearance in Paris for Fashion Week, attending the Vogue show alongside Vivienne Westwood. An utter dream, yes, but also still an incredibly daunting reality. Even so, it was something I couldn’t quite worm my way out of even if I had wanted to– see, with that contract there still came clauses.

I’d been prepping for my upcoming early morning flight most of the day, showering later on than anticipated just so that I could pack my case and eat before I eventually climbed into bed. Hoping to somehow get a couple hours kip.

I’d thrown on a robe and kept the speakers blaring once I’d eventually jumped out from under the spray, wet hair curling at the ends as I worked on throwing something quick together in my kitchen.

It wasn't long before I went and took the bowl I’d just made out into the living room with me, simply so that I could curl up on the settee and wrap up the few emails I’d been working on earlier. I was just nodding along and humming to the next song that played through the overhead speakers when my phone started to buzz against my ankle, shooting a funny feeling up through the bone. I was quick to pick it up, wrinkling my nose at the feel and not paying much mind to the caller, figuring it had to be either Mila or Lottie.

“Hello?”

There was a short pause as I shifted the phone against my ear before a voice eventually sounded, “This Elia?”

Frowning, I casted a quick glance at the phone’s screen to find a number with an unfamiliar area code staring back at me. I let my gaze stray on over towards a clock I had hanging on the far wall only to find that it had just gone eight. 

I fumbled for a moment, “Um. It is, can I ask who’s calling?”

A low cough rumbled through the line before the same voice spoke again, I shuffled to set my laptop off to the side on the sofa, brow furrowed. “It’s Em– Marshall.”

Suddenly my head felt so very empty and my mouth was working around words that couldn't seem to find their way out. Em. The Em?? Fucking, Em?

I’d obviously been quiet a beat too long, drowning in the sudden panic that had shrouded me, because he spoke up again, “That Nas playin’?”

I shot a startled glance over my shoulder to where the fancy sound system was installed, the biggest reason I’d gone and purchased the home, in truth, and was immediately reminded of the music I had piercing through the air. Clumsily, I rolled off of the corner of the settee so that I could stumble over to turn the thing off, doing exactly that before I was forced to blink at the sudden silence that greeted me.

I winced and was quick to turn the music back on, keeping it low. All the while I still held my phone close to my chest.

“Uh, yeah. Hi!” I blundered helplessly after a moment, carding a hand through my damp hair as I stared at the empty wall before me stupidly. I wasn’t sure what to say, let alone do. I could sort of wrap my head around the interview, his brief mention of me. But a fucking phone call? It was on another level.

He chuckled though, enough so that I felt myself flush bashfully at my obvious awkwardness and forced my body to move back towards the sofa, if only so that I didn’t have to stand on shaky legs anymore. 

“Hi.” He mimicked, voice low albeit a tad amused.

I smiled. Unable to do anything but, in all honesty, as I lowered myself down onto the cushions, vaguely aware that I should probably be saying something else now that he’d gone and replied, but was simply more than a little caught off guard by everything. 

“Sorry, I– Well, I didn’t expect your call. Or anyones really.” I murmured, trying my best to shake off the nerves that were apparently wreaking havoc on my brain to mouth filter. “I just jumped out of the shower, had yet to turn off the stereo. Sorry.” How many times had I just apologised? I wanted to scream.

“You’re good.” He assured me, voice unlike what I probably would have expected and so I blinked once more at the sound of it, reminded that it was actually him I was talking to. But all that was fluttering through my head was ‘what the fuck are you doing calling me?’ “Nice choice, I gotta say. This an alright time for you to talk? I don’t wanna disturb you much.”

My eyes widened at both the compliment in song choice and well, him. Then withheld another sudden urge to scream, the hand not holding my phone clenching into a tight fist against my chest. “No, no, of course not. I mean, you’re fine! Not disturbing me at all.”

His next reply sounded more than just a little mirthful, “Sure ‘bout that?”

I willed myself to relax and took an inconspicuous breath as I pulled my legs back up under me. “I’m sure.” I told him, laughing lightly at myself for being so socially inept– or maybe it was just this entire scenario I’d been shoved into. “How’d you even get my number anyway?” 

I hadn’t meant for it to sound so forceful or abrupt, but it had been yet another question my sluggish brain hadn’t been able to find an answer to. 

“Mila?” He answered me, and I blinked stupidly at the name. “We had a mutual contact, figured I’d chance askin’ her instead of gettin’ lost in your DM’s. That cool? She said she’d let you know.”

The conniving cow, I thought to myself, though I wouldn’t have put it past her to have reasoned with herself that I would’ve probably freaked out if she had told me beforehand, before then having proceeded to just let my phone ring out whilst I stared pitifully at it. She knew me all too well. 

“She did not.” I replied through a baited breath, “But no, yeah. You’re alright, just caught me off guard is all. You’re probably the last person I expected to call, if I’m being honest here..”

When I heard him laugh once more I grinned, all too pleased with myself. It was a low gruff sound, not deep enough to be sarcastic or ingenuine, but rather warm. It surprised me.

“Oh yeah? Even after everything that’s gone down lately?”

My eyes slipped closed at the instantaneous reminder and I winced. The video. Honestly, in the whirlwind that wasn’t just my life at the moment, but this phone call too, I could have almost forgotten about it.

“I still can’t believe you saw that.”

Marshall let go of another amused huff that I figured to be a chuckle, breathing in deep enough that he forced me to wait on his next words. “I don’t lie. I meant what I said. But tell me, how many drinks d’you have in you?”

I curled my tongue against the back of my teeth in hopes to keep from grinning too hard, feeling a slight sting at the tip. “I was tipsy.” I argued pointlessly, knowing it would be a tireless venture, “I’d only had a couple.”

He hummed, seemingly not convinced.

“It was years ago, too!” I felt the need to tack on, the rosy hue the alcohol had given my cheeks sprung to mind and made me wonder. My face wrinkled as I dragged a helpless hand across it. “Who even sent it to you?”

“A couple people, actually.” Marshall ended up revealing and his words sounded playful enough that I could almost picture the curl of his mouth. “My daughter was one.”

Without thinking my hand flew up towards my mouth and I shook my head as I let it rest against my palm. “You’re not being serious.”

“Dre too.”

I let go of a hissed curse and crumpled a little bit in my seat before laughing stupidly at myself. If I couldn’t talk myself out of this then I supposed I would just have to get over it. I hoped thinking sensibly would allow me to actually follow through on that sentiment, but I very much doubted it.

Marshall laughed again, slow and easy almost as though he’d shared it with me a hundred times before. “I wasn’t kiddin’ neither. ’s why I called.”

Pulling my head from out of my hands, I wet my lower lip, mind promptly flashing back to the clip Lottie had shown me. “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked him, treading cautiously. 

“Listen.” He began, pausing only briefly to inhale before he then added, “I’m workin’ on another album–”

“No.” I interrupted, eyes suddenly wide and alert, “Already?”

A tittered snort followed the disruption but my mind was already reeling. 

“You’re not fucking with me?”

In all honesty I had prepared myself to wait a couple more years for another drop, hoping for him to feature or for someone to send for him if only so that he’d make a track in reply. I’d been obsessed with his recent work, even going as far as to add it onto the tour bus playlist late last year. It had actually been played so much the roadies and the band had threatened to rip the system out. But a new album? Fuck. I hadn’t expected it.

“Who else knows?”

There was a slight click on the other side of the line. Or scuffle. “As of right now? Like six people.”

I swallowed down the understanding that then hit me, but my stomach lurched at the very thought of it. “And I’m one?” I chuckled, holding back the hysterical laughter I felt bubble as my hand fell over my heart, “Wow, I feel honoured, Mathers.” It was teasing, the rib I meant, though my eyes still widened when I realised what I’d gone and said, not wanting him to take it the wrong way. 

I needn’t have worried. 

“As you fuckin’ should be.”

I gave a real laugh at that, almost a full-belly type shit. But could you really blame me? 

I was still smiling as I went to retort, humming with it, “God, you really just went and sprung that shit on me.”

“Hold you to keepin’ it on the low for now.” Marshall said, reminding me how paranoid the press and Hollywood had made him out to be in the past. I wondered how much truth there was in the sentiment. I mean, the man was almost a recluse– not that I could blame him, I was pulled from the same sort of cloth there– but to put a secret like that in my hands? It had to take some amount of faith.

I nodded seriously, even though he couldn’t see the gesture. Seemed he could hear the sincerity in my answer though, “‘Course.” I told him and then chewed on my lower lip for a second before a soft snicker escaped me. “That the only reason you called though? I mean, as honoured as I am to be one of the infamous six, I’m surprised you just phoned to let me in on the know. Have I just been roped into some sort of celeb elitist group? Weird initiation.”

His huffed laugh was breathy and made my mouth twitch that little bit more. 

“Nah. You always this weird though?” Marshall wondered and I bared my teeth in a light grimace, figuring I’d gone too far with that one. Or maybe.. I'd just hit the mark? I snorted lightly at the thought.

“It was an honest question! I’ve heard horror stories.” And wasn’t that the truth, events and parties weren’t all about the awards and just getting trollied. Some of those fuckers were as strange as people could come.

The man clucked his tongue, although I could hear the slight smile in his sarky response. “Uhuh. Sorry to disappoint but nah, initiation starts in the belly of LA. Gotta dissect a virgin and drink Ciroc out of their intestines. Funnel that shit down.”

The snort I gave in turn was ugly and loud enough that it forced a hand to fly up and cover my mouth, but it didn’t appear to bother the rapper none, who chuckled before clearing his throat.

“Change this shit to Facetime.” He said not a second after, swiftly cutting short my absurd amusement. “Then we can talk about the album.”

I fumbled for a moment. “I look a mess.”

“Good thing this ain’t a fuckin’ fashion show then.” He only pressed, “You think I give a shit what you look like right now?”

That struck an odd chord in me for some reason, but I didn’t want to linger much on the feeling. “No. But I do, dickhead. It’s half eight at night, I have sudocrem on my face and I look like a dog off of Lady and the Tramp.”

I was so flustered by the very thought of acquiescing to the man’s demand that I didn’t even think much of the name I’d gone and called him. 

“Again, do I give a shit? And what did you just call me?”

I paused, reeling back to whatever it was I’d just spouted at him. Upon rehashing my words I felt my tongue press between my lips to keep from laughing loudly, if Mila or Lottie had been there I’d already be strung up by a pair of metaphorical balls. 

“You heard me fine.” I brushed it off, if he wanted to call me out of the blue and act all chummy then chummy was what he’d get.

Besides it wasn’t like I’d meant the term maliciously, I used that type of endearment with everybody. Something my manager had tried and failed to force out of me time and time again.

“But back to this whole ‘seeing my mug thing’. Not happening, mate. Why couldn’t you have called like, six hours ago? I looked like an actual person then.”

“Dickhead.” He muttered beneath his breath, barely even loud enough for me to have heard him and I could only guess that he was shaking his head with it, hopefully somewhat amused. “You ain’t an actual person then?” He said in reply, forgoing the name calling for now, “Figures, you give off lizard vibes.”

“Fuck you!” My laugh was sudden, jaw having dropped a tad at the quip. “Lizard vibes, the fuck are you then? And yes, an actual person! You can’t just call people, drop a bomb, and then demand things!”

“Shit typically works.” He quipped all too quickly that it had me shaking my head around another quiet smile of my own. “Just entertain me though, for a moment.”

My head fell back against the arm of the sofa, eyes casted towards the high ceiling which loomed above. I couldn’t quite believe I was actually considering it.

He didn’t even have to goad me before I relented. I huffed, blowing a strand of hair from out of my face as I sat back up, “Fine. Just gimme a sec.” 

He hummed.

Elbowing my way off the settee I skidded over to the closest mirror, dragged a hand through my mostly dried hair and made sure that I didn’t have racoon eyes from any lingering mascara I’d had on before my shower. The patches of sudocrem would have to stay though, I deemed, seeing as he already knew about those. 

I gave up on the preening and sighed as I fell back onto the sofa, thankful for the dim lights the living room offered in that moment. It was just as I was switching the call though that a thought hit me, making me question if the reason he’d asked me to start the Facetime was due to him wanting to give me the option to turn it down or simply because he had no idea how to do it himself. “Still there, old man?”

A scoff echoed into the room before my phone screen stuttered and I was left staring at the sharp lines of his face. It wasn’t like I hadn’t actually believed it was him I was talking to, but seeing the man was another thing altogether. He was a real person and that idea alone had me reeling. 

I wrinkled my nose almost shyly around a smile when that sharp gaze of his slid away from something behind the camera to meet mine. He tilted his head to look me over, the hood of his jumper moving with the motion. 

“I was right about the lizard thing.” Was the only greeting he offered me, jutting his chin out as he feigned all seriousness. 

My mouth dropped open upon hearing him and my tongue quickly flicked out towards a canine to keep from biting back at him. There was humour written in the gesture though, even as I moved to narrow my eyes. “He’s got jokes! Reused ones, I might add, but jokes nonetheless.” I snarked, lifting my eyebrows at him in exaggeration, “Hilarious.”

His mouth curled very, very briefly, but I was quick to work out that it was all in the eyes with him. They held a certain amount of mirth as they flickered over my face. I wondered what he saw. 

“Suits you though. Even with all the…” He waved a hand over his own face, probably referencing the white dots I had littered in a few places.

With a shake of my head I raised a hand to my chest, feigning a fond appreciation for the sardonic comment. “Is that the famous charm the world’s heard so much about then? Really know how to make a girl feel special, Mathers.”

His eyes slitted but still shone with a slight glaze, he hummed deeply in retort. “Best believe it. Why d’you think I’ve gotten divorced twice?”

A low whistle escaped me before I then laughed, eyes squinting with the strength of it. “Figured you might just have a kink for courtrooms.” 

His tongue swept into his cheek at my boldness, fighting back a real smile as he glanced away and then back again. “I’m down bad for a good Judge. Spank me vibes, you know?”

I chuckled outwardly at that, amused by his quick witted replies. But that in itself didn’t surprise me, it was well known just how hilarious the man could be, his stoic demeanour only prodding that revelation further. 

That sternness his face seemed to consistently hold softened though in that next moment and I watched on as he shuffled a little closer to the camera, sat somewhere indoors with enough natural light that he could have only been in his kitchen. It hit me then how wild this whole thing suddenly was. “What’s with the last name anyway?”

I blinked, caught off guard by his ask. “Um,” I fumbled, a slight wrinkle forming between my brow, “What do you mean, me calling you Mathers?”

He hummed and I had to think about it for a second. Ultimately I ended up gifting him a shrug, “Don’t know. Just feels strange to call you Eminem or whatever.” I laughed lightly at myself, hand falling to my knee to toy with a loose thread on the hem of my robe. “What do people usually call you?”

It was his turn to shrug then, his being a singular and fluid motion whereas mine had been more thoughtless. He was watching again though, the wide eyes I was so used to seeing in old interviews where he was always playing a part were now gentler, narrowed sure, but softer and slightly wrinkled at the very edges.

I tugged on the frayed thread, wrapping it around my finger enough to whiten the skin before I had to let it go again. “Is Em okay? Or just Marshall maybe?” I queried, watching him too.

“Whatever you want.” He murmured and it was then that I noticed he’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of him because a pair of hands came to rest at the bottom of the screen just as he pressed further into the counter he was sat at.

I wrung my lips to one side, teeth biting into the inside of my cheek enough to keep from smiling much more than I already was. “Most people call me El or Lia. Elia just started to feel unnatural away from, you know, everyone else.”

It was the worlds now, as well as one of few reasons I had for the stigma I felt around my own name. 

The man jerked his head in a short nod in response whilst his fingers intertwined against a marble countertop. “So we should just slide that into the writin’ credits then? Or you finally gone take me up on that offer of a feature?”

You know that odd feeling you get when you’re on the tube or a plane and so suddenly your ears just pop and there's this ringing sound that floods the single sense? It just happens, out of nowhere, and you blink. So all you can immediately focus on is the sound. The odd feeling of it driving waves deeper and deeper into your skull. And the only way you can recover is by holding your own breath?

That was what that question felt like to me. 

“What?”

His eyes were alight, akin to a low flame of flickering amusement and perhaps hope. “You deaf now too? Know you heard me.”

Of course I fucking heard him but that didn’t mean I understood. “This is for real?”

Finally, he let go of a dulcet chuckle, almost a ringing sound in and of itself. “You gone make me repeat it? You in, or not?”

“How is that even a question?” I breathed back to him, my hand shaking against the hem of my robe. “Yes! God, if I ever say to no to an ask like that you better fucking shoot me. What the fuck, Marshall?”

That chuckle again.

It was unlike anything else, the only sound I could hear around the blood rushing between my ears. Stupidly, I pinched my thigh and released a stuttered breath when the twist of skin radiated a short snap of pain up my leg.

“That the go ahead then?”

I must’ve looked so incredibly starstruck but I couldn’t even bring myself to care, this was unreal. I nodded, almost frantically at him. “Of course that’s the fucking go ahead! Are you sure about this? I mean, I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I mostly write radio shit.”

“Your earlier stuff ain’t.” Em shot back, the quip startling me enough to snap my jaw shut because not a lot of people ever dug that deep. But he continued on before I could think to hone in on the slip, “‘sides, your lyrics are what I fuck with. That shit makes you think, has you lingerin’. Playing with words is the aim, I want people thinkin’, leachin’ onto each syllable and every phrase. You do that.”

The air in my lungs lurched.

I could only offer him one reply, “When do we start?”

[actual-changeling]

heaven doesn't take too kindly to him breaking in a second time.

aziraphale stops them, with his blood already staining their perfect fucking floors, and his hands are balled into shaking fists, his voice projecting more authority than ever. crowley waits until they're alone in the blinding corridors before allowing his body to collapse, hissing when pain flares across his back.

"crowley-" there is a shadow in his periphery, hands reaching for him, but he flinches out of reflex more than intention, taking twisted satisfaction in the strangled noise escaping aziraphale.

"fuck off." while audibly hoarse, the edge to his words is sharp.

with his palms pressed to the floor, he gets to his knees, head hanging down as he sucks in breath after breath to summon enough focus to fix himself.

"let me help-"

"i said FUCK OFF," he spits, glancing up at him through a curtain of red waves and pain. "what do you care anyway."

"of course i care," aziraphale shoots back immediately, somewhere between offended and distressed, and oh, crowley takes the same satisfaction in that, too, no matter how bitter it tastes.

purely out of spite and to regain whatever of his pride is left, he ignores the cut still sluggishly bleeding onto the floor and pushes himself upwards, managing to stand while swaying heavily. he's a fucking mess compared to aziraphale in his pristine archangel get-up, and it lures the anger out of him with ease.

"huh, considering those are your guys you really have a funny way of showing it."

they both know what he is doing, yet the guilt carved into his face is as real as the heartbreak etched into his own. someone knows he is tired of playing games, but that is all they have left now, isn't it? stupid fucking games, as if they hadn't drowned themselves in those for millennia.

"i stopped them, i didn't send them. you know that."

crowley doesn't even attempt to bite back the hollow laugh craving to be set free. it rips through him with pain in his wake, and if he doesn't heal that wound soon the blood loss will make him pass out. how annoying.

"oh, aren't you being hilarious today, archangel. none of this would have happened if you hadn't—"

left.

thirteen months and he still cannot say it. what a pathetic little creature he is, deep down, clinging to love and having nothing but anger to voice it. he understands, he must understand.

suddenly, he is very, very tired.

"i'll be on my way. not gonna clean up though, that's on you."

aziraphale stands frozen, watching, right there and warm and real. crowley barely avoids throwing up at the thought of letting it all go for one gentle touch. in the harsh light, he seems pale, his lips bitten raw, and crowley loves him so desperately it hurts. gritting his teeth, he heals the cut oozing all over his back and nearly topples over with relief. hold me, he doesn't say. help me. come back. i miss you.

"for what it's worth, crowley, i am sorry."

they look at each other, gold and purple-blue-something new. he refuses to believe in Her after everything, but he believes that they will fix this somehow. crowley swallows and his fingers twitch at his side when the light catches on the tears gathering on aziraphale's waterline. they will fix this.

they have to.

"yeah, me too."

three word sentences hiding the one they both cannot voice, yet he finds forgiveness cannot easily be forgiven, not this time.

(it still counts)

[newleaf92]

Things I’d like to see in Hazbin Hotel:

Valentino absolutely losing his shit over Angel Dust—which in turn causes Husk to go completely feral in either beating Val to a pulp or gambling over Angel’s contract (and winning of course)

Some more background on what actually caused the rift between Vox and Alastor—Stayed Gone did reveal a fight of some sorts happened, but what actually caused it.

Lucifer being completely blindsided by Lilith’s return and initially being so over the moon at her return that he fails to notice any ulterior motives. Eventually, I want this to build up to a climax where he is forced to make a decision—keep his relationship with Lilith or supporting/defending Charlie and her dream.

Charlie struggling with Lilith’s return, and heavily doubting the hotel before she comes to a point where she is willing to defend her hotel against anyone—her mom included.

Alastor cashing in on the favor Charlie owes him from their deal

Sir Pentious and Emily bonding in heaven and trying to find ways to help Charlie

Lute and Valentino both going poof

As an added bonus:

I would absolutely love seeing Nifty being a complete menace to Valentino. It would be hilarious if she somehow infiltrated the Vee’s tower and we just hear/see Val screaming for Vox’s help as she tries to get more for her collection.

[cynthiav06]

With Percy, we know that he hates going to school and his goals don’t really line up with Annabeth’s, but Annabeth is kind of forcing him to do it with her because he can’t say no to her. Say Rick didn’t make Annabeth Percy’s entire personality, what do you think he would’ve done in the mortal world rather than go to university?

I was checking my drafts cause I am trying to catch up on all the asks in my inbox ( as I said in one of my earlier posts I was in middle of a medical situation so I have at least a month of backlog) and found this draft.

The funny thing is I had already written most of the post in the draft version, and this ask wasn't even being displayed in my inbox, so I was very confused as to when it was from.

But it's such a good prompt and a sort of controversial question in the fandom, so I wanted to post it asap.

Percy doesn't like studies, but he knows the importance of it, so I am sure he will finish his initial college, probably either in the science or arts section. We know at one point he got better grades than Annabeth at one point so he certainly isn't quitting studies and doing way better than what people expect. He also wouldn't like just staying at home and doing nothing (I am looking at certain Percabeth stans here), so he definitely would be doing one job or another.

1.

I don't think he would study marine biology like most believe. After a conversation I had with someone who had taken the course, I am convinced Percy wouldn't like it. It's heavily based on chemistry, and we know how much Percy is affected by sea creatures being mistreated or caged, so having to study marine biology wouldn't really be something he would choose.

2.

An interesting twist would be if he chose to be a writer like his mother.

We all know that Percy writes or at least dictates and narrates the first five books, which are written and narrated entirely from his perspective. Moreover, there are books on Percy just narrating his own sarcastic takes on Greek gods and Greek heroes. What if he did actually catalogue his own adventures in those books as a sort of manual for other demigods on how to deal with certain monsters and gods and such.

Through Percy's thoughts, even as 12 years old, we can certainly say he has advanced vocabulary despite being dyslexic and given how much he admires Sally, why wouldn't he be interested in following her footsteps. Sure, he has trouble reading, but that's not to say he wouldn't love expressing his thoughts through humorous retelling of his own adventures which he can pass as fiction to normal readers but actual experiences in demigod world. Who doesn't want to know the exploits of Percy Jackson?

Plus, it's a good money hack. And don't for a second tell me he wouldn't. Sally petrified Gabe, and then they sold his statute to a museum as a sculpture and earned money off of that. So Sally would definitely encourage it, and Percy would even follow through on it just for shits and giggles and the added benefit of helping demigods and earning money.

[I literally want this to happen just for the Godly reactions. I am all for god slander, especially Zeus slander. Poseidon would be half laughing at the book and half worried cause of the sheer catastrophes his son seems to fall into almost on a daily basis.

Apollo would be having a grand time, and Hermes will be half depressed and half impressed throughout. Overall, it would be hilarious all around, and it might finally make the gods feel a bit more accountable . It's literally the Reading Percy Jackson Series trope, and that's always fun.]

3.

One other option is that Percy will get into environmental preservation, specifically the protection of Rivers and Seas from pollution by actively involving himself and others in its cleanliness and purification. He would also run Beach cleanliness programs.

I think he and Grover would become environmental activists and would definitely get into preserving forest areas and other places where nature spirits dwell frequently. I can see them doing it a lot, long-term wise, too.

4.

I think he would kind of like marine explorations, but that might cause his powers to be somewhat exposed, so he might not do that, but it's a possibility.

That's all I can think of. I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

While "the network wants an episodic kids show, the authors want an epic dark complicated narrative" would explain A LOT about ML's problems, I'd still like to note that there are kids' shows that can do both, going full range from "mostly episodic with a sprinkle of narrative" (Kim Possible, MLP), to "heavily narrative but with episodic breather/filler episodes" (Gravity Falls, WITCH, the Owl House), with many variants in-between.

Even the transition from "fully episodic" to "more narratively-connected" that ML attempted to do can be done successfully - the aforementioned Gravity Falls and WITCH were more episodic in season 1 and more narratively driven in season 2.

However, I'd say there are a few other key problems that can be inferred from what we have:

The show tries too many things at once - as you have pointed out repeatedly. Magical girl and rom-com, single-hero, duo and team stories, wacky comedy and serious trauma, even trying to give several characters a redemption and a damnation arc at the same time (and failing with either). Apparently, it's not just TF vs writers: it's writers severely disagreeing with each other (see Thomas and Vincent's opinions on Chloe), and also trying to one-up the fans. Also, simply thinking too much of the work, which leads us to...

ML's total lack of self-awareness. Another famous case of a show that was almost entirely episodic is Phineas and Ferb. They use the same formula (the brothers build, Candace busts, Doof makes an Inator and is thwarted by Perry) over and over for four seasons. And by mid-season 1, the authors have been making fun of the structure, lampshading it, spoofing and twisting it, playing with "What if" episodes and never taking itself too seriously. When ML tries to be self-aware, it becomes either insulting to the fans (Animaestro), horrifically dark (Chat Blanc) or plain cringe (Simpleman). This is exacerbated by Astruc's arrogance and inability to ignore critics.

Is it possible to make a highly complex, genre-busting, yet kid-friendly story and succeed? Yes. But it needs to be better thought-out - if not from the start, then at the moment the network allows one to deviate from the formula.

And if all else fails and the story becomes too complicated and too repetitive at the same time... Well, self-awareness and the ability to make fun of one's own work can turn a sad mess into a hilariously fun disaster.

P. S. Love your posts as always, you are the main reason I'm still in the fandom!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm so glad that you're enjoying my stuff and I agree with all the things you brought up.

A big part of the reason that Miraculous is so fascinating to me is that there ISN'T a single cause of the issues. There are so many valid ways to discuss the show's problems. It's a masterclass in bad writing and what not to do!

It's why I'm able to run this blog. If it was as simple as, "here's the single reason why it's bad and here's how you fix that" or if the show never had any potential, then there wouldn't be much to talk about. But it did have potential and there is no single reason why it's bad. The causes are multitudinous as are the potential fixes! It feels like investigating some complex wreckage or an elaborate murder mystery in order to understand what the hell happened, which is really fun if you like talking about writing.

I find it much harder to discuss writing in an informative way if you only have good examples to draw from because that path risks stifling creativity. Just because a popular story did a thing well doesn't mean that story showed us the only way to do the things or even the best way to do the thing, but that's often the lesson people seem to learn. They see a thing that they like or even just a thing that audiences liked and want to copy it without understanding the full nuance of why they liked it.

A great example of this is Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender. He was such a well-written and popular character that all these properties started copying him even though the properties in question did NOT have a setup that worked for a Zuko. Praising Zuko won't really tell you all the ways that Zuko could have failed. Meanwhile, a case study of Chloe vs Zuko or even just a general discussion of Chloe lets you actually talk about the various styles of redemption arc and what you have to do to make them feel real. It's also far more interesting than talking how Zuko could have failed because Zuko didn't fail so why are we even talking about this? It's also far more interesting than talking about a bunch of properties that did redemption arcs well because that would require you to have seen all of those properties. But Chloe is from a single property and she did fail and people understandably have wildly different feelings about what the failure was because the writing was so bad, which means that digging into her writing is way more likely to hold your interest and teach you something.

This gif really does sum it up perfectly:

[Image description: scene from the movie Knives Out where the detective Benoit Blanc exclaims "It makes no damn sense! It compels me though" to explain his feelings on an ongoing murder mystery that he's trying to solve]

As does the old adage, "failure is the greatest teacher." Of course, no one ever said that it had to be your failure!

[impishjesters]

Jax reacting to hearing his s/o saying that they would like to marry him in the future

CW(s): rude Zooble, age gap, self-deprecation, unfinished relationship talk, eavesdropping, talk of marriage, Jax note: The "age gap" has no set age gap, just heavily implies and mentions that the reader is older and has experienced more as an adult then Jax might have. But there is no age mentioned for the reader. As for the "unfinished relationship talk", it's basically the reader letting Jax process everything that was said to get his feelings and thoughts aligned. Pushing him to talk when he's conflicted usually ends up with him blowing up, so they'll sit down and revisit the discussion later. A/N: I had this mostly written up ages ago, just needed to finish and clean it up. It felt weird... coming back to TADC after so long... This is also like over 2.2k words... normally I wouldn't post something this long here but, eh why not.

“So how long do you see the two of you ‘dating’ for? You know if there is an exit and we get out of here, the two of you will probably break up.”

“Why would we break up just because we’re back outside?”

You shot Zooble a confused look who only returned it with their own confused expression. It’s hard to speak for Jax, but you had been in this for the long run, it wasn’t just some “hey let’s date to pass time while we’re trapped here”. So far Jax has yet to give you any implications that he wasn’t taking this relationship as a means of passing time.

Zooble shook off the confusion and crossed their arms. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t get it what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that you really think the two of you are just gonna continue as if this place didn’t happen?”

The confusion only grew the more they spoke, is that how the others saw your relationship? Just the two of you using each other to pass the time? Well, that hurt.

“I do actually, I don’t know what you and the others think about the two of us but I love Jax and I’d be willing to do my part to make the relationship work. I know he doesn’t seem like it but I know Jax would too.”

You leaned in close and cupped your mouth with one hand and spoke in a quiet voice. “He’s quite a faithful guy despite his flirty demeanor.”

Zooble let out an unpleasant snort at the statement, it was hard to see Jax as someone faithful and not just using you for his own means. But what did they know?

Unbeknownst to either of you, Jax had made his way over to the two of you but instead of making himself known, he tucked himself around the corner to eavesdrop. You rarely hung out with Zooble, so of course he got curious.

“So what, you’re just gonna keep dating him for the rest of your life?” They paused and blinked a few times before letting out a dry laugh. “Don’t tell me you see yourself marrying him?”

Marry? Marry who? His brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and irritation, you weren’t cheating on him, were you? The only other guy there besides him was Kinger, and let’s just say if it wasn’t for the fact he was trying to stay hidden he would’ve burst out into laughter. That’s a hilarious image, you with Kinger of all people.

“Marrying him?” The thought never crossed your mind, you saw a long life with Jax but the idea of marriage never popped up. Would he even want that? He’d probably make a joke if you ever popped the question, or say some shit like how he doesn’t expect you guys to get out of here so it’d never happen.

Plus would you want him to give up his youth any further than he already has by being trapped here? Did he even date before you? How much of his young adult life did he get to experience compared to you? You were older than him, you’d been able to do stuff with that adulthood before coming here.

Zooble frowned seeing you lost in your head, shit they didn’t mean to upset you. They uncrossed their arms and started to reach out to apologize but you snapped out of your thoughts before they could do more.

“Do you think marriage in the circus would be acknowledged out there?”

“What?”

You rolled your eyes and gave your hand a little wave. “I mean do you think if we got married here, it would be recognized legally out there? I mean, even if it wasn’t then we could just get married again. Knowing Jax he’d probably not want anything fancy so a little stop by the courthouse to sign some papers would be fine with me. I’m sure Caine could create a perfect digital wedding, that’d save us a fortune. Do you know how expensive weddings are? And we’d get it for free!”

As you went off on your tangent you missed the look of shock on Zooble’s face, and the two of you collectively missing out on the reddening of Jax’s face the more you spoke. Zooble didn’t know what to expect after you’d gone silent, and neither had Jax—should he even be hearing this right now? You weren’t serious were you?

“You’d do that? Get married to him twice?”

A pleasant hum escaped you at the question. “If he wanted to, yeah. The topic hasn’t come up so I don’t really know what he’d think, but I’m not opposed to it. I know he’s got his quirks—”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” Zooble interrupted.

“—but I accept those for the most part and it’s what makes him, him.” You continued, ignoring their interruption.

“I’m not the type to short-term date someone, and even if it’s weird to think about I could see myself settling down with him for good. Whether that’s here or there, though I’d much prefer it be out there but I’ll take whatever I can get.”

In truth Jax had never thought about marriage, he barely thought about dating until you showed up. And even then dating wasn’t on his mind until later on. There’s a tickle of laughter in his chest at the very thought, and not the good kind of laughter, the mockery kind of laughter.

Who the hell cares about something like marriage in the circus?

“You’re serious.”

You shot Zooble another confused look laced with irritation. “Zooble I’d appreciate it if you stopped questioning my feelings. I know what I feel and I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t serious.”

“Right, sorry.”

The two of you stood there awkwardly, Zooble shuffling in place trying to brush off your intense staring. In the process of trying to look anywhere but you they caught a glimpse of Jax hiding, the two made eye contact and Jax nervously shook his head silently hoping Zooble wouldn’t call him out.

Zooble broke eye contact first and looked at you, crossing their arms. “If the two of you do have a wedding, at least the wedding will be small. You know, assuming you invite the rest of us.”

A smile washed away the scowl at the statement. “Of course! I couldn’t think of anyone I’d want more than you guys to be there, regardless of what Jax says I want my new little digital family to be there.”

You opened your arms to offer a hug, Zooble was one of the two people that you let initiate any physical contact such as hugging. They were stiff and it felt awkward but they returned the hug, letting you give them a good squeeze before pulling back.

Zooble caught Jax silently laughing at their discomfort and shot him a glare before looking at you. “I’m gonna go, this is too much wholesome shit for me.” they paused and nodded their head towards the doorway. “Besides, looks like someone wants to talk to you.”

Jax hissed, shooting them a glare with a silent promise to dismember them later for ratting him out.

Throwing a glance over your shoulder you see Jax and momentarily worry if he heard any of that. “Oh hey.” Jax steps out from around the corner and grumbles back a greeting, eyes still locked on Zooble as they leave. “Stop that.”

He finally looked away once Zooble was gone and looked down at you, crossing his arms loosely. “Didja mean what ya said?”

“Said?” You swallow nervously. “How much did you hear?”

“Enough.” Sure it wasn’t the whole conversation but he definitely heard more than enough.

This wasn’t how you were hoping to pop the question, but at least you didn’t have an audience. “I… yeah I did. I was gonna bring up the topic at a later point but uh, now’s a good time I guess.”

“You’d really wanna marry me? Me?”

“Oh don’t sound too surprised.” Your eyes roll purely out of habit by this point. “I would, but uh..” His posture stiffens and you’re quick to continue, lest he get the wrong idea. “You’re younger than me… I don’t know what you got to experience before being stuck here. I don’t wanna feel like I’m… like I’m getting in the way of you having experiences before something like marriage.”

Jax let out a few awkward chuckles, right, he always forgot about the age gap. His worries weren’t on his experiences but more on how you seemed so casual about settling down with him of all people. You could do so much better—even if he hated to admit it, the thought of you with someone else made him upset.

“I don’t think experiences really matter—”

“They do though. If I’m the only person you’ve dated then how do you know you won’t come to tire of me or regret something as big as marriage? Isn’t there a quote that basically says most first relationships never last?”

Under normal circumstances watching you spiral would be fun, but this wasn’t fun watching you put yourself down. “Hey, since when do you believe in that junk?”

Okay, he’s got you there, you didn’t believe in that crap but still.

“I should be saying the same thing to you…” he started, ignoring the confused look you gave him. “You’ve got more experience but who’s to say you won’t get tired of me?” He let out a bitter laugh and gestured to himself. “Have ya seen me?” He’s a class-A asshole with little to no care about the other idiots trapped in here aside from you. Anyone could tell you he wasn’t husband material.

“Jax—”

“Nah, babe I’m being serious. I know those pretty lil eyes of yours see clear as day what kinda person I am. The others are sick and tired of me and want me gone, it’s only a matter of time before ya fuckin’ see I’m not whatever ya think I am.”

It hurt seeing him spiral, his voice shook despite the anger on his face, and if you looked close enough it looked like he was ready to cry any second. Before he could continue to berate himself, you grabbed the straps of his overalls and gave a firm yank bringing him to your height.

“Apologize.” Jax froze, anger and confusion clear as day. “Apologize to yourself, right now.”

“The fuck are ya talking about?”

“I said, apologize.” You repeated through gritted teeth. “Look I won’t lie and say you aren’t a handful—” Jax opened his mouth to retort but you pulled the straps of his overalls harder, not giving him the chance to interrupt. “But who isn’t a handful? Especially in a place like this, we’ve all got our baggage and you aren’t an exception.”

The scowl and anger never fell from his face as you spoke. “Out of all of us, you’re the third longest to be here—you’ve experienced so much and so little while being trapped in this shit hole. I would be surprisingly impressed if you didn’t have some sort of trauma-like response or body-eating anxiety.”

“I’m not trying to excuse your behaviour, because frankly, it can be very uncalled for in some cases—but I won’t pretend to know everything about you, or why you are the way that you are. But I’m willing to take the time and sit down, and try to understand you. We don’t have to get married now, heck we don’t have to get married ever. I am more than willing to just stay happily by your side with you.”

You finished your rant, panting, staring Jax straight in the eye as much as he tried to avoid yours. The look of anger had melted away, the scowl lessened but his brows furrowed, no doubt struggling to process your words.

“I’m not going to make you respond to that right now, because I know that was a lot and I know you’re struggling with your thoughts, feelings, and words. But we will talk about this later, okay? You will apologize to yourself.”

The grip on his clothing loosened, prompting him to slowly pull himself upright, eyes still avoiding yours. You knew him too well already, that after big or heavy topics it would take his brain what was the equivalence of three to five business days to work himself out, less he lashes out. He wanted to at least give you that level of courtesy compared to the others.

Jax nodded and you exhaled a breath of relief before gently taking his hand. “Good, now do you want me to lead you to your room so you can be alone a bit, or do you wanna go mess around? I heard Bubble was going to try and “bake” again, maybe we can mess around with him.”

Did he wanna be alone right now? Yes, there was a lot to process. But the temptation of fuckin with Bubble started to outweigh it. Eh, fuck it, he could process it later. Not every day he could fuck with Bubble.

He nodded, and without even needing a verbal answer you knew by the slow-growing smirk what option he picked.

“I would love to harass Bubble with my potentially one-day spouse.”

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

spent a bit of time today writing out some thoughts on ford as a character and thought it might be fun to put them here. I think ford is a really interesting commentary on heroism and his role in gravity falls is specific and pointed. theres a lot more i COULD get into (the way he and Stan act as foils for example) but here I just want to explore the fundamental ideas of his arc which includes parts of his dynamic with Bill Cipher and Dipper.

I really love the way gf combines the ideas of the lone hero/adventurer (a classic hero trope) with the ideas of the mad scientist (a classic villain trope) to reveal the way they're really based in similar lines of thinking and emotional pitfalls. Ford's isolation & paranoia, his tendency to put his own body on the line, his (relative) willingness to endanger others for his cause...it all points out a neat overlap between the guy who wears all black and carries a gun at his hip and the guy who WOULD inject himself with some kinda substance in the name of Science. I think that's part of why from what I've seen the fandom can be pretty conflicted on Ford--even on a basic design level, he evokes strong and conflicting feelings.

A key moment to me in establishing the ideas of Ford's arc happens at the very beginning of Weirdmageddon--a strange point to choose maybe since it's so late in the show, but I feel like those three episodes beautifully encapsulate Ford's failures and his development. After realizing what's happened, Dipper is desperate to find Mabel and make sure she's all right. Ford tells him, there's time to find her later--right now we have to stop Bill before the weirdness spreads. I love the way that the show presents throwaway moments like this: they're not questioned in the moment, but they stick out to you anyway because they run so counter to the philosophy of the show. Through the past 2 seasons, not only has the show proven that saving Mabel is more important than stopping Bill, it's also proven (and proves again after this) that saving Mabel is essential to stopping Bill. Evil isn't defeated by one guy being brave enough to shoot a gun at it, it's defeated by a community that works and fights together. And, hilariously, Ford is captured within the first 7 minutes of the episode, making everyone else's jobs way more difficult.

To be clear, it would be a complete misunderstanding of the character to say that Ford prioritizes stopping Bill first because he doesn't care enough about Mabel or her safety. It's precisely because he cares so much that he doesn't look for her right away. Ford has bought thoroughly into the lie that Bill fed him, which is that devastating personal sacrifice is not only right & good, but necessary in order to accomplish great things. As long as Ford believes that lie, he remains Bill's perfect prey—even with a metal plate in his head, even 30 years after the initial manipulation. Ford will easily give up sleep, food, friendship, family, sanity, and his own life, if he can be convinced he's doing it for the right reasons. And he's very easy to convince! Ironically, despite being arguably one of the most formidable characters in the show, he's also arguably the weakest and most gullible of the main cast, because he's so obsessed with the idea of giving up everything for something greater than himself.

That lie of the moral necessity of self-sacrifice, the lie that makes it possible for Ford to give up his brother, lock himself in his basement, be angry when he’s brought back home, and nearly destroy the world, is heavily in the offing through the Ford-Dipper plotline of Dipper and Mabel vs the Future. Ford offers Dipper apprenticeship and tells him that he’s capable of handling it—but it would require personal sacrifice, giving up his childhood with Mabel to join Ford in his self-imposed isolation. A test of Dipper’s aptitude for that kind of sacrifice occurs in that episode: Ford nearly dies, and orders Dipper to let it happen so that the rift is kept safe. Dipper doesn’t even think before disobeying him. He doesn’t seem to consider it a decision. There's no thought of the greater good when his uncle needs him.

Later, talking to Mabel about the idea of joining Ford as an apprentice, he says how ridiculous it is--sees it for a fantasy. The image of heroism Ford presents is appealing, but it's a lie.

For Gravity Falls, a show with two central protagonists, a show arguing over and over that the only way to change things for the better is to work with, trust, and care for your loved ones, Ford's position is an interesting one. I'd argue that thematically he stands in a more relevant antagonist position than Bill Cipher. He represents everything that the show is poised against. He's set up carefully as the epitome of Cool, with a masterful buildup to his entrance, badass styling, and hero worship from Dipper (the closest thing GF has to an audience insert.) And then, slowly and subtly, the show reveals how the lie of the lone hero has convinced him to hurt himself and everyone around him, nearly to the point of destruction.

I love him dearly. The best awful guy of all time

[ryin-silverfish]

LMK S5 trailer, Chinese pantheon infodump, and some ideas

…Man, normally, I feel the urge to write fix-it AUs after rewatching episodes and coming across particularly bizarre theories and takes, not before the new season's even out.

Thanks, S5 trailer.

Consider this your spoiler warning, because the rest of this post will all be my personal opinions about a few major story beats that were revealed + the rough outline for a fix-it AU.

It's also a bit ranty, and features some criticisms of the general narrative, so if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to avoid this one.

Li Jing becoming JE/the regent of the Celestial Realm is just hilariously absurd. I mean, it makes a teeny tiny bit more sense than the "Nezha will be the new JE" fan theory, but that's not a very high bar.

1) In-universe, he had done a grand total of nothing while shit was hitting the fan, and only showed up after it was all over. Which, tbh, isn't too far from his role in FSYY. No, wait, at least in FSYY, he killed Luo Xuan via a pagoda to the head, after the guy had all his fire-based magical treasures neutralized and taken away by Princess Longji.

Yeah, congrats, LMK's Li Jing, you've somehow become even more useless than your FSYY and JTTW counterparts——which is a true feat.

2) Even if someone's making him JE/regent, it wouldn't be the Ten Kings. To put it simply: the Underworld doesn't have that authority. They are the most pathetic of all divine bureaucracies, who pretty much only show up to get pushed around and revive the occasional dead guy in JTTW (and I still love them).

Like, they ain't no Hades or Satan. Just the 10 judges of the Dead People Supreme Court. To heavily paraphrase Di Ting in the original JTTW novel:

"How much power do Underworld gods really have? (幽冥之神，能有多少法力)" "...Certainly not enough to stop a rampaging demonic macaque who's as strong as SWK, if I say the truth out loud in here and piss him off. Just send them to the Buddha, please."

An analogy: if the Celestial Host is the imperial court, the Underworld is the ministry in charge of judicial processes and prisons. They don't even have authority over the imperial censors who answer directly to the emperor, let alone the power to determine a successor to the throne during a major crisis.

If this was to make the tiniest bit of sense, Li Jing would be the one commanding THEM, not the other way around. Or if it's Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha himself giving orders to Li Jing…for some reason.

But we know that ain't happening bc of the show's strange aversion to showing Buddhist deities on screen, not to mention it would be very OOC for Ksitigarbha, whose job is granting relief and salvation to souls in the Path of Hell, not judging and punishing them like the Ten Kings.

3) If you must make Li Jing the emperor/regent, you have a more mythos-accurate and obvious choice than the Ten Kings, considering you already got the Four Divine Beasts involved!

Yes, I'm talking about their bosses, the humanoid "directional + elemental gods": Lord Father of the East (Wood), Queen Mother of the West (Metal), Emperor Zhenwu of the North (Water).

No South though...because our mythos can't agree on a single directional god of the South, but for shit and giggles, just imagine Zhurong, Yandi, Huaguang, and the Star of Fiery Virtues all sitting on the same narrow bench, staring awkwardly at each other.

Maybe we can have Ziwei, Great Emperor of the Central Sky and North Stars, who is one of the Four Sovereigns(四御) in Daoism (two of which could also be an alternate choice, but maybe a bit too obscure for foreign audiences).

He commands the stellar deities and heavenly bodies——which the Four Divine Beasts would technically fall under, as guardians of the four quadrants of the sky, each in charge of 7 Lunar Mansions.

4) But if you already have these deities, why the hell would any of them make Li Jing the regent? Wouldn't it be more likely for them to create a Celestial Council of Regents themselves, with Devaraja Li Jing under their command as the leader of what's left of the celestial army?

Like, you can still have them, or one of them, going after the gang and ordering Li Jing to put the fillet on SWK.

I can see Zhenwu the Demon-Vanquisher doing that, since the fillet isn't too different from what he did to Huaguang and a lot of the demons he subdued in JTTN: feeding them magical water/fire pills that would corrode/ignite their insides whenever they tried to resist.

(Yeah, compared to that, the fillet would look like the lenient option, since it's just pain and won't actually dissolve/cook you alive from the inside out...)

And it wouldn't be bc he thought SWK was to blame for the Brotherhood's epic fuck-up...somehow. Like, what even is that logic?!

I mean, I can kinda see the Ten Kings doing it as a pre-emptive "Don't blame us for our shitty security, blame that guy over there!" move...except they are no longer answering to any higher authorities who'd hold them responsible at that point!

"What about Li Jing?" You may ask. Yeah, WHAT ABOUT LI JING? Why does Li Jing have to get involved in this?

If he's forcing the Ten Kings to pass judgement on the gang (which surely doesn't look like it in the trailers), why's he enlisting the help of the weakest faction and not, y'know, his celestial soldiers and other gods?

If the Ten Kings get Li Jing to be their enforcer...well, how the Eighteen Hells did they manage that? What could the Ghost Supreme Court and their crappy prison-torture chamber-soul customs office complex even offer Li Jing as a bribe?

And if their goals were to avoid responsibilities by blaming someone else, how stupid did they have to be to actively involve/create a higher authority who can punish them once the cat gets out of the proverbial bag, instead of, I dunno, just stay where they are and keep their head down???

So in my fix-it AU, it's more of a "Better safe than sorry" scenario, where every demon working for the new Celestial Council must prove their loyalty via swallowing the water/fire pill, now that even more dangerous demons have escaped and are running around in the aftermath of S4.

And Great Sage and company are not exempt from that new law either——"If you are truly righteous and Not Like Them and not planning to rebel, what's there to be afraid of?"

Horrified by the Demon-Vanquishing Mansion's 16th century standards of "justice" and "mercy", they naturally would not have any of it, and thus the conflict begins.

Not only would this show the fallout of Azure's misguided rebellion——that, in trying to make a better world, he had made it 120% worse for both humanity and demonkind in less drastic and more realistic ways aside from dooming reality to irreversible destruction, it would also help with the major show-not-tell problem about Celestial cruelty bc the "good guys" in power saw no problem with this kind of shit.

If you want your lawful antagonists who take Order to its extremes, the warrior sovereign in black leading an elite army of demon-hunters + penal legions made of "reformed" demons would be a better choice than the Ghost Supreme Court, don't ya think?

(Fun fact: in Zaju plays, Zhenwu was often said to be the boss of Nezha and Erlang, so him commanding Li Jing wouldn't be too out of place either.)

Now, you may ask, why do I even care? After all, isn't it clear that the show is neither mythos-accurate nor trying to be, considering the JE got K.O.ed by a Bodhisattva's cat of all things?

Not to mention the season's not even out yet, so why jump to conclusions so quickly? Maybe the actual episodes will have explanations that make sense. Relax.

...Cause I don't mind less-than-stellar animations if the story's good, and since I keep noticing the less-than-stellar animations, it clearly isn't good enough.

Also, it's not like it's only the implications that are absurd——my problem is with the whole premise of "Li Jing becoming the new JE/Regent" and "The gang is prosecuted by the Ten Kings for bullshit reasons, even though these guys should not, and never have the power to enforce anything over SWK."

I don't like calling narrative choices "wrong" per se, and prefer to see it on a gradient of "least to most narrative potential". When it comes to adaptations, if the option that is faithful to the original work will result in a less interesting story, then I'll happily take the one that isn't as faithful and takes creative liberties, but makes a better story.

And here, I feel like being faithful to the Chinese mythos inspirations will add to the narrative potential instead of subtract from it, and the idea they come up with kinda...goes against how Chinese pantheons work, in a very simplified and "westernized" manner.

Mostly bc I am a Chinese Underworld mythos lover and think they deserve better than being ominous Hades/Grim Reaper knockoffs. And out of all the possible Chinese gods, Nezha's asshole dad is the least qualified or interesting candidate to fill in the power vaccum left by JE's death.

[blacklegsanjiii]

If you had to give sanji a random devilfruit, which would you go for and what kinda story would you have around it 🤔

So kind of fucked up but my first thought was the calm-calm fruit. It'd probably be in the bag of food Zeff tossed him on the rock. Do I think he would use it in a healthy way? No. Would it be even more detrimental to his mental health? Yep. Does he use it to perv? No.

He would use it to hide his panic and his nightmares and everything 'not useful' despite what Zeff and the others keep telling him. It's a safety net so he doesn't bother people with his problems, with what's happened to him. He uses it for others as well, providing quiet spaces for those who need it. Sanji is incredibly selfless when it comes to others problems but you know he would encase his room in a calm bubble so the others wouldn't hear him in the night.

When he joins the crew he uses it less, not to hide it but more so he doesn't become overly reliant on it. The crew would know about it, I think after Arlong Park Nami asks him to use it on her so she can have some cathartic screaming without disturbing the crew and he obliges with a knowing and sad smile. He shows it to Vivi and Chopper and Ace who all find it rather interesting, he doesn't know if the Marines know because it's not listed on his poster after Alabasta. Robin finds it interesting that the man who hides has such a fruit, not that she says this of course, it's not her business to share. I think it would FUCK with Thriller Bark if Sanji used it to take the place of Zoro. He doesn't let Zoro hear what he says to Kuma and doesn't tell Zoro to give his regards to the crew, just watches Zoro collapse again before he takes it.

Zoro is pissed at him when he wakes up so he uses his fruit to let Zoro be angry at him without the others hearing. Sanji doesn't argue with him and just takes his anger. It is well deserved after all, but he tells the mosshead to be quiet for a bit, he doesn't tell Zoro why he did it, but Zoro knows, he knows the cook too well.

When the crew comes back together, after the loss of Ace Sanji offers his powers to his captain. Luffy uses it sometimes, usually after he wakes up from an awful nightmare. Things go as canon, Sanji is just sneakier than before. In punk hazard Nami has to figure out Sanji's fruit for a minute before they're all switched again. It doesn't work but imagine what finding out Sanji has Cora's fruit does to him?

Sanji offers the use of his fruit for some peace and quiet because he knows Law is stressed out and Law is staring at him in shock and bewilderment. It feels like a prank on the man as the man who looks like a smaller Cora almost has his fruit. They have a lot of the same mannerisms too so it's gotta hurt a bit. Law agrees and Sanji silences the galley for them as he cooks. Just lets the warlord sit as the rhythmic chopping and bubbling of the kitchen soothe.

In WCI, because I think it would be funny if the world still didn't know he had a fruit - like it's not public knowledge, so if it wasn't for the cuffs and Zeff, Sanji would have snuck back. I think it would be hilarious if he uses his fruit to sneak around, no one notices him come or go. So during the escape when he silences the whole ship everyone is shocked that it goes completely quiet as they sail away and realize someone on the boat has a fruit the world is unaware of.

In Wano it allows him to sneak away from the group and sneak around more than the others. Get more information and meet Yamato sooner and they relate heavily. He shows Yamato his fruit and Yamato is pleased by it because he would be. During the raid he uses it against Queen when he starts spouting shit about and copying his raid suits powers. Queen would flip about his fruit as Sanji smiles and finishes the fight.

[valeriefauxnom]

Unintentional Comedy - Dragalia and Feh Artwork Edition

So, remember Alfonse, from FEH?

Y'know, this dude?

For an okay crutch for those without Gala Euden or Albert or other handy light swords they didn't want to invest in, he was rather popular, only partly owed to any pre-established fondness FEH players had since they already knew him. People liked the more expanded personality we got than FEH's bare-bones story, additionally before they started trying to spice Alfonse up in more recent books.

In his story, however, one of the events that happening is Euden falling off a cliff, shortly followed by Alfonse.

Miraculously, cliff-falling isn't quite as dangerous in Dragalia Lost as in real life (also demonstrated by Leonidas in Stranded Scions, etc...), and the two survive. Alfonse has some sort of injury to his foot, however, conveniently hampering his ability to move but not much else.

Euden, being Euden and unwilling to throw anyone to the wolves, comes up with this idea:

Nothing atypical here, right?

...Well, as it was revealed in a book published two years later than his debut in Dragalia, Fire Emblem Heroes Character Illustrations, Volume 1...

Alfonse is 180cm tall, AKA 5'11.

...Is it any surprise coming from 195cm/6'5 and 180cm/5'11 parents? Someone check the Askran royal food for steroids that Sharena has apparently not been consuming, presumably because she's instead dining with heroes in the barracks.

I digress.

Now, as I've gone over before here, here's where it gets hilarious in retrospect.

In short, Ranzal, the resident big buff burly dude of Dragalia...is stated to be 6'1/185 in the joke comics.

...And while literally nobody else got an even vaguely-official number to their height, Dragalia instead opting for a 'comparison heights' to keep track of who's shorter and who's taller in a pair... Euden often seems to wind up in the 150-155cm/5'0-5'1 range or even shorter when in illustrations with Ranzal:

At most, I've seen him crack about 5'9/175cm in the comics, which aren't exactly a stable source of art, as demonstrated by these two panels, in which both seem to be on flat ground and standing pretty straight:

I need to stop before I mindlessly repeat the other post, but my point remains:

Euden, by most depictions, is tiny. A literal short prince/king.

And yet, no matter what way you slice it, he's trying to carry a dude that seems to be quite a bit taller, let's say. How much, we'll never know, but the fact remains he'd likely need to pull out a dragon phone to search 'how to carry people much taller than you?' just in case and hurriedly read a wikihow 10-step article explaining some strats, were it not for the fact that dragons would have destroyed smartphones in Dragalia a long time ago (good move, dragons....?).

I will admit that there are a few arts that frame them as the 'same height' but I would more point to the fact Euden, when drawn with crossover characters for promotional art, is usually portrayed on an 'equal footing', so as not to have one take up more space/attention. Also, the Feh team might not have even decided on a height for Alfy boy before!

Even then, he's still portrayed as shorter than 5'9/175cm Joker in some art:

So yeah. Crossover art is not exactly consistent, and all I can do is look to the general trend in the 'canon game' of him being absolutely dwarfed by Ranzal.

Now, it's one thing for Euden to be lugging about Alfonse for a while.

The idea he might have done so with such a potential height disparity is pure comedy.

No wonder he's so tired after a while, lugging about another human who is both taller, heavier, and also wearing armor!

Not only that, he later tries and partly succeeds in fighting heavily armored soldiers (who are admittedly aiming to capture him and kill Alfonse) with Alfonse 'draped across his back like a sack of potatoes'. Talk about determination, adrenaline, and/or the simple principle of 'small but mighty'!

Maybe that's why Alfonse was saying "I don't think that's wise" at the start there before he quickly found other rationale besides 'you sure you can give a piggyback without my feet dragging along the ground the whole way?'

My case rests, Your Honor: they unintentionally made part four of Alfonse's personal story a lot funnier to envision by publishing an art book 2 years after he first existed in Dragalia Lost!